#black mesa-verse

[mesaverse-hq]

IS ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE???

Hey y'all. It's been a hot minute. From all of us. Suffice it to say, time and life have gotten the better of everyone involved in this horrific little mini-AU, and due to that, these characters we hold dear have been on hold for months, some for years. Life happens, you know?

But that brings me to the point. Due to poor management and impulse decisions, the original Mesaverse canon was left in an extremely poor state for months upon end, leaving little room for new stories, or even characters. So, in a move that has been discussed internally by many of us, we're considering a "Soft Reboot."

In short, what this would entail would be a reset of the Mesaverse timeline, flipping the script back to day dot, giving a fresh start to existing characters and allowing for new ones to be introduced. This would also allow both for former members and newcomers to get an opportunity to organically join the collective. This is an idea that's been in the air for a while, so we'd like some hard numbers to base a decision off of.

[oblique-lane]

Isn't much of a question but holy moly I love your pre fortress hc so much 😭😭🙏

Tysm!!! There's more!

Previous post!

I unironically believe that those three games should (do) share the same universe (The ORANGE BOX UNIVERSE???!?!) That would explain so much......

[gorillastraylight]

Fang of Flint

At the age of 17, they killed the boy who would be Fang of Flint. Deep in the womb of Turambek, a red-robed priest anointed him in black engine oil, then flayed his back with a barbed lash, and sprinkled holy salt over the exposed flesh and muscle. Out came the knife, old and gnarled black lapis Devilbone. They slaughtered the boy with awe and respect, the same way the plainsmen of old brought down Feroloths. In his place was born Fang of Flint, the Righteous Judge, the Lictor, a receiver of the Blood of Kings freshly freed from his pathetic chrysalis.

The godless traitors of Mesa and the hated Union tell lurid tales of Ambek, how impossibly cruel the reign of the Salt King is, how human life is spent needlessly and how the priests and feudal lords slaughter any who fail or disobey. These are baseless lies fed to the populace by wicked politicians who have betrayed humanity to evil forces. In Ambek, no human may take the life of another for any reason, so long as they live in service of the Godbreaker. It follows, then, that the job of executioner must be performed by one who is more than human. To be a Righteous Judge is to be close to the Salt King, nearer the emanating power of Storambek the Godbreaker. Fang of Flint is one of these, charged with passing judgment on those who turn their backs on their King and fellowmen. His badges of office are the jagged chainblade and the brass mask, symbols that remind the humans in his charge of the perils of waywardness. When those humans forge his Armour in the scorching, radioactive foundries beneath Turambek, it will bear the same badges.

The Armour of a Lictor is superior to any other found in the legions of Turambek - it is resilient but agile, with wicked claws and synthetic muscle coils that snap shut like a vise around the unworthy. Its monstrous chainblade mirrors that carried by its pilot, and it also weilds a sacred barbed lash, that none might escape judgment. The cap of each suit is a grinning bronzed skull-helm: the death’s head, a symbol of each Righteous Judge’s death and rebirth. Fang of Flint has always believed that silence suits those of his office well, and since his death he has only ever spoken the name of the Godbreaker, and then only as he punishes one of the wayward. Most other Lictors regard this practice as strange and unnecessary, even blasphemous. Voice of Fury sees Fang of Flint as an arrogant fool, to be sure. But Voice of Fury is yet young, and comes from a noble geneline besides. Fang of Flint knows what it is to be among the wretched and damned, the ones whose faithlessness dooms them to the eternal torment of Samsara. It is why he is so dedicated. Every soul he must take, he does so in the hope that the Godbreaker will turn aside the evil eye of the Deathless Devil and allow them blessed oblivion.

The Legate favors Fang of Flint. He is more able than his brothers to recognize that she speaks with the authority of the Salt King, regardless of her status as a woman. In his mind, this is why she gave him the task of consigning an entire tower to the dirt - a task he relishes. When the charges detonate and the monument of the offworlders collapses, he will whisper his prayer to Storambek. Perhaps even turncoats and aliens can be saved, he thinks. It is worth it to try. He and his Vanguard become the spear of the Godbreaker, and the few defenders of Hightower down below are utterly unable to stop them. They have planted 4 charges, suffering no casualties along the way. His Armour sings in a way it never has before as he wills it forwards, each step is a metal drumbeat accompanied by the hiss of pistons and whir of servos, and it sounds to him like a verse in a ceaseless hymn. He shuts his eyes for a moment, and his vanguard’s Armour joins his in the chorus. DOOMssskreeesUNK- DOOMsskreeesUNK - DOOMsskreeesUNK. His reverie is only interrupted as they come upon the fifth support structure. 4 fusion signatures, blinks his sensorium. Enemy Armour. A challenge, at last.

Red. Red. Red. The heat is unbearable in his brass mask, the noise as his Armour’s limbs are cut away by the edge of a plasma-actuated blade. First a heavy, reinforced arm hits the rock, the scream of the giant chainblade suddenly silenced. Then the right leg, bringing him to his knees. And finally a stab to a fuel line, the blinking sensors fading to darkness as he feels his Armour careening downwards to crash onto the floor of the cavern. Silence for a moment. A minute. Two minutes. His chainblade, his badge of office, is digging into his side. A reminder, thinks Fang of Flint, from Storambek. I am not dead. I will not die here, in the dark, blind and deafened. The hiss of the cockpit opening, the rush of blood from his head as he stands, the only light is the burning of his vanguard’s corpses and the gaudy colours of the offworlders’ Armour. She is walking toward him, out of her ruined Armour. Good. Come closer. The chainblade roars to life, but only briefly - she is on him, the blade clatters to the dirt, he is on his back and the helmet comes off and for a brief, brief second he is afraid. He can *smell* it on her, he can see it in her eyes. The grasp of the Deathless Devil. But no, no, NO, he is shielded from Samsara. He is close to the Godbreaker. He stares through the blood and rapid swelling as his own helm is brought down again and again and again like a priest’s barbed lash. His eye contact is one final act of defiance, a final prayer, the punctuation on a life lived in service to Storambek. They stay open after he ceases to breathe, and there is no one left for him to defy.

**************

Another little NPC vignette from my Lancer campaign, this time about an encounter boss they fought last mission! Basically an indoctrinated pilot for the weird theocratic despotate that used to control the planet the campaign is on before being overthrown by Thirdcomm and local revolutionaries a century or so ago, then pushed back to a much smaller region around their capitol, Turambek. In the campaign, they’re trying to reconquer the planet, which ofc invites conflict with our PC mercs. Ambek, the theocratic despotate, has a bunch of jumbled beliefs telephoned from their colonist ancestors (hence the weird misinterpretation of Samsara), the state religion worships their king as a living deity descended from their patron, Storambek the Godbreaker and hates and fears a satanic figure called the Deathless Devil. They’ve got some funky esoteric lore I can’t get into without spoiling my players, but I had a lot of fun with this one. I understand why people like to write abt the Imperium of Man, it’s so delightfully fucked up to write from this perspective.

[lunarsilkscreen]

How Half-Life *could* be interconnected with other franchises

Death stranding:

Death stranding explicitly told us that Arpeture facility's were on the map with some bonus DLC. What is not clear is if this is a friendly nod and advertisement, *or* of the death stranding verse and half-life verse are actually connected.

Preliminary observations would suggest: no they are not. Due to some of the jarring features and distinct differences of both games. However, it *is* possible that the death stranding itself was actually a zombie outbreak, and the time fall we see in game was actually a defensive measure to take out the zombified people's.

We see that other, similar cities, like Arpeture's underground city exist, and that individual fallout shelters also exist. We also see dark teleportation (something that combine forces have access to) but what we do not see is any of those enemies left over.

We do see a connection to inner-beaches, inner-hells, and the Dead by Daylight world could in fact be a representation of "Bill's" personal beach. This would be how he was able to escape death by zombie consumption.

Fallout:

This should be self-explanatory; Portal is actually referenced in one of the shelter logs as a "testing facility who does cruel and unusual experiments on its inhabitants.

Several nukes would have been used to stave off combine forces, and zombified people's--and, of course, Black Mesa.

The Fallout peoples, having no access to historical information, would have to invent their own based on third and fourth party recreations, they would also have a lot of lore and conspiracy theory instead of actual fact to go on.

BioShock:

Turns out, the city of rapture could simply be another form of fallout shelter. Virtually Safe from being nuked by world powers, or militaries, we even see similar technologies to those used in rapture during the events of Half-Life: Alyx.

However, during the events of Bioshock, we see a city overrun by zombies and mutants. And, a person with the literal ability to control people's free will simply by asking them to do something politely.

This seems reminiscent of the Nihilanth's seeming complete control over the Vortigaunts that inhabit its domain in Xen.

Simultaneously, unlike The portal simulator; it seems that Rapture exists in at least 4 dimensions. It is unclear how this came to be.

Control over these 'Nihilanth' powers seems to be the core driver of the plot, seeing as how every major character in the game gets access to this power in some facet.

They also seem to be unaware of any actual society left outside of rapture, indicating that they don't believe there are any left.

Resident Evil:

It is possible that the events of Resident Evil are happening pre-combine invasion, and are exacerbated by the events of Half-Life. It's a distinct possibility that a bioweapon initiative was developed with the sole purpose of combatting the combine forces.

Evil Dead:

It's also possible that a Nihilanth eacaped to this plane and controls the dead from evil dead. It would have to have no other affiliations, and be purposefully trying to absorb as many humans as it can into its collective.

Walking Dead

Self-explanatory, these are events occuring simultaneously to L4D

F.E.A.R.:

This could be a simulated environment run by Adrian Sheppard. A program run alongside the Counter-Strike simulation. These would be what-if scenarios run in order to determine ways to combat combine forces.

Time-Splitters:

Could be the technology used by G-Man in order to change historical events.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.:

References a Nihilanth-like entity that must be destroyed.

Metro 2033

Could be simultaneous to the events of STALKER

Splinter-Cell

Could be a simulation run alongside the FEAR and CounterStrile simulations based on historical events.

DeadSpace

Humanity's attempt to escape the planet from Portal storms and combine forces. They eventually encounter a form Nihilanth mind control and flesh reconfiguration artifact.

[pinklocksoflove]

I should make a Half Life verse for Iggy

She'd fit in at Black Mesa

[daevite]

here's my cringe (short) silt verses playlist btw. also no one can judge me for this playlist in terms of music taste bc my broader music taste is VERY different from most of my "story" music.

reasoning for each song is below because i'm autistic about it:

if we live - disparition: vibes + lyrics

black eyes - david wirsig: vibes + themes of drowning

devil's gonna come - raphael lake, royal baggs: purely the vibes

brutus - the buttress: very faulker-coded to me aside from the focus on female-ness but the song can read as being trans-ish imo

preacher - roe kapara: should be obvious, unfortunately the only part of this song i really like is the opening (tiktok artists amirite)

curses - the crane wives: also feel like this one is pretty obvious

the woods - san fermin: unparalleled vibes + more people should be exposed to this song

apocalyptical - puscifer: shrue-ish

blood promise - swans: y'know, good question, i just feel like it fits

by the throat - chvrches: carpenter and faulkner

cage of bones - son lux: uhhh

go tell aunt rhody - RE7: well

throne - saint mesa: carpenter-ish

eat your young - hozier: yup

little pistol - mother mother: "mother mother on a fan playlist how original" i know but carpenter and faulker fit this song so well it feels illegal to not include it

you ain't comin' back - zeal & ardor: i do feel like it fits but this is also zeal & ardor propaganda ngl

which witch - florence & the machine: unfortunately there's also one particular part of this song i like but i think the vibes fit

blinding - florence & the machine: i feel like this is carpenter. a little bit

no rest for the wicked - lykke li: yeah

inbred - ethel cain: carpenter

end of days - brown bird: somber americana paige/hayward

hell and you - amigo the devil: paige/hayward if you aren't a coward

take me to war - the crane wives: carpenter is generally crane wives for me

that's it lmao it's a short one

[inland--empire]

Unhinged ramble about how Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples by Will Wood fits with Dr. Wallace Breen because I am soooooo neurotypical and have no mental illnesses. Also yes I copy-pasted the lyrics and added my notations in brackets because I am. Yeah. Also this includes a LOT of headcanoins he's just a guy to me.

Did you know that the hole in the apple didn't come from the outside in? It was eaten from the core and out to the skin And that's why you'll never find the worm in it [Ok so. Like. Breen like lost all of his humanity right and I assume he never realized it until it was too late, you know, eaten from the core and out to the skin] But a few bad ones won't spoil the eyes if they fall far enough from the tree The rind is all you see, leave Eden with my seeds in your stomach [I literally have nothing for this lol. Well maybe like. Leaving Black Mesa with no actual sense of self leading to how easy it is for him to give into the Combine ok bye]

Well, this disease is defined by its treatment, you people make me sick Parlance of imbalanced cambia's been challenged at best AstraZeneca's just theoretical Prints of your fingers in the Rorschach jigsaw, say you saw a treasure map Straight-jacket and tie, psychiatric supply, while we tragically try to fit into a trap, but [I HAVE NOTHING FOR THIS ACTUALLY SORRY I AM AAAA]

Who'd want to be human anyway? (Ay, ay, ay, ay) Who pilots all these crude machines? [This has. Breencast vibes. He would actually say that.] Why'd you come into this world or come out that way? Like freaks of nurture, well, isn't it funny? [Ok. Bren backstory time because I made his relationship with his mother mirror his relationship with the Combine like. He just bows to the stronger person because he knows he can't fight back so like. He relly is a freak of nurture. Anyways I fuckig love that line anyways] (Well, not ha-ha funny, but y'know, funny)

'Cause I doubt that you would even if you could change [*stares in judgement*] You think it makes you special, but it makes you strange I doubt that you would even if you could change The things that make you special are the things that make you strange

I am the shadows cast aside by gallows, and you the red-hot sky [This makes sense with like. Him and the resistance. Actually most of this verse is like a Breencast tbh like it sounds like something he says over the screen y'know?] And if you're believers, then why would you grieve for the dead instead of a devil that you never prayed for? You become immune to my toxic fumes My dose-dependent presence in your life [Ok. This is slightly off topic but like. Breen to Cave. If you know you know.] It's all subjective, all due respect to the collective mind, but [The collective mind you say]

Too weird to love, too scared to die, too alien to take you home (Ay, ay, ay, ay) Horrified at the sight of my reflection in your eyes, I don't belong there [OK I ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING REALLY SOLID FOR THIS OK SO LIKE. Horrified at the sight of my reflection in your eyes is like. In his office when Judith is finally fed up with him he sees himself in her eyes and has a brief "oh no' moment but also. I don't belong there is him standing in front of an Advisor and his reflection in its eye is Breengrub. You see.) Well, it's your conclusions that make mine delusions, so I make you sane You can thank me later [Ok so like. I think he's dug himself into egotism because he doesn't have any sense of self so yeah. Yeah you see it I aohihweiu]

Well, I doubt that you would, even if you could change You think it makes you special, but it makes you strange I doubt that you would, even if you could change The things that make you special are the things that make you strange

Who'd want to belong to anyone? I mean, what do people even do? (Ay, ay, ay, ay) [Office scenenenenenene] So if you love me, let me let you go, my love, so I can be no one (Ay, ay, ay, ay) [OK ANOTHER ONE I HAVE A VERY SOLID THING FOR BECAUSE. I HEADCANON THAT AFTER CAVE DIES HE BEGINS TO LOSE HIS SENSE OF SELF BECAUSE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTED TO SPEND TIME ON HIM DIED I AM] When Chuang-Tzu awoke, he sat up almost choking, spat out a butterfly and said, "Five more minutes, please? You wouldn't believe the dream I just had I mean, you were there, and you were there And you, and you, and you were there"

'Cause I doubt that you would, even if you could change The things that make you special are what make you strange I doubt that you would, even if you could change The things that make you special are the same that make you

I doubt that you would even if you could change You think it makes you special, but it makes you strange I doubt that you would even if you could change The things that make you special are the same that make you strange

[baellielurk]

On the topic of things I totally thought I've done already! 43, 20, 27, 7, 5, 77, 81, 16 for wrapped

43. Rule #1 - Magic - Fish in a Birdcage

vervain talking to his party on an average day (i got nothing on this one, i just like the song)

20. Die By The Blade - Beast in Black

this is a love song. to me. :) again, all my commentary is i watched berserk. it lives in my head now. thank you.

27. Love Me Like You Used To - Lord Huron

resisting the urge to just post a picture of the entire lyrics how the fuck do i even choose.

god this fucking song. especially in relation to vervain. im clawing like a cat that really wants to be in the bathroom with you. but also hissing and running away. okay okay okay. the top three lines for me are as above. first one because he can pretend and hiss and grump all he wants but ever since ileana's been gone he's been missing her so bad every day every night he's pretending he's mad but man's been grieving!!! all along!!! and he's a stubborn fucker so he's like noo im so mad im angry i dont miss her im so glad she's gone but no he wants her back so bad. second one is the beauty of the campaign that she was there all along and he could just not stay away from elturel and he always always came back even without knowing and now too she will have to be a part of it and really he doesnt believe in fated shit but also he was always going to come right back to her yknow. and third is a fear he's held for so long that maybe she's forgotten about him completely that he never even mattered that much that she wouldn't even recognize him really and he's still lowkey worried about it because he has changed since then visually and emotionally and in so many ways and will she even know him anymore (and what does he even want does he want to be known?? does he want her to know him still after so long?? hasn't he changed?)

so i am so so so normal and balanced about this song yeah.

7. The Draw - Bastille

i have yapped about this one so fucking much hkdgffjk. won't stop me but as a reference point. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa auuuughhhh this song. TT-TT it sums up adrian's emotional shitstorm so well - and now i have new material to go on about cuz once again he got told and shown in no uncertain terms that people might care about him and that despite it all he does seem to have friends who are nice to him and i JUST literally as i am typing this realized that he basically did the thing tamret (his little brother) did with him often. so okay context moment every tendays he has a really bad night because of the death curse and this time around they had some guests who were also zentharim contacts so he was like well they cannot fucking know about this so he grabbed the party npc and was like ok you need to make sure they do not learn about this and just make sure that around midnight when this is the worst i just don't scream so i don't have to explain All That. and like. in a really roundabout way this is similar to when his little brother would show up in the middle of the night like i had a bad memory during trance can i stay with you a bit. something adrian never would have done during his childhood to his parents tbh cuz he had a "no leaving your room at night" rule. so anyway. he finally got to experience being comforted. and now i will blast this song on repeat again.

5. Sin Ti - Saint Mesa

I think to me most of all this is an Ireena song, or a Barovia in general song - specifically a barovia after campaign song. But also, it's a bit of a personal one, in some ways. similar ways.

77. Middle of The Night - Power-Haus, Tom Evans, Dramatic Violin this is a classical piece 👁️ _ 👁️ and i couldn't find the damn sheet version. another one from that inventing magic math list.

81. Violet Clementine - Lady Lamb

another adrian song found! i can't actually super-analyze it tho, but i do love this part of the song where they are kinda singing both verses at the same time.

16. Broken Survivors - Beast in Black

not actually easy to pick a favourite part but i think it would have to be this. no specific emotional attachment to this song beyond that it slaps and i love it and also berserk brainrot still going strong and permanent in my brain.

hey. thanks for the ask. (x) and sorry to everyone else.

[d1gitalgurl]

Earthseed

Two issues which would make my earthseed community necessary are the climate crisis and global systems of White supremacy intrinsically tied to capitalism.  The climate crisis disproportionately affects the global south which is most densely populated by Black and Brown communities, and White supremacy functions to disenfranchise and colonize Black and Brown bodies for labor.  In light of these issues my earthseed community would band together sharing and cultivating mutual aid and resources as well as shielding and protecting one another from violence and subjugation at the hands of white suprmacists and the nation state.  My earthseed community would be situated in the mesa verde national park which contains ancient Pueblo cliff dwellings.  With the permission of the remaining indigenous Pueblos in the region, my earthseed community would form a coalition and learn indigenous stewardship practices from the Pueblos, as well as build our own housing nearby.  In order to make the world a better place my earthseed group would follow and honor indigenous practices and dismantle capitalism, practicing communism and utilizing a bartering system.  Through these practices we would aim to return the region to its state before settler colonialists arrived.  Furthermore, the Mesa Verde national park contains various ecosystems and natural resources while remaining free from most natural disasters such as earthquakes, tornadoes and excessive fires or hurricanes.  My earthseed community would be open to women, femmes, and all members of the trans community however cis gendered men, single men would not be allowed to travel with, or join the group due to their socialization as violent and patriarchal.  However, if partnered they would be allowed to join.  Additionally, my earthseed community would utilize AI drones to scan the mesa verde national park for approaching groups/ individuals.  Once aware of outsiders, my earthseed community would gather together and approach the group as a united front.  Furthermore, my earthseed group would confiscate all guns from individuals entering the territory and dismantle and discard them in a secure facility.  Through disarming newcomers in the park, my earthseed group would created a safer and less violent landscape.  My earthseed group would follow a democratic, popular vote leadership model in which each member held the power to draft a bill or proposition and each individual would vote.  My earthseed model would not have representatives, only meeting leaders who would count the votes in front of the community to avoid corruption. One earthseed verse I would apply to my community is “your teachers are all around you.  All that you perceive, all that you experience, all that is given to you or taken from you, all that you love or hate, need or fear will teach you.” This verse would teach my community to value the natural world and to have a patchy and appreciation to our peers and the knowledge of indigenous peoples.  Another verse my community would utilize is “Belief initiates or guides action- or it does nothing.”  This verse would represent the necessity of self motivation and the dangers of blindly following the teachings of others.

[goatbi]

i’ve been staring at Darnold this entire time... he’s going into this fucking verse if it kills me, and it just might 

[mesaverse-hq]

Dr. Chettmen: Lab coat worn off the shoulders has got me acting unwise Dr. Richardson: 'Unwise' is a fun way to say 'Lab Safety Violation'

[turretdoctor-and-engineer]

Gilligan’s Island (An AU Portal Parody)

Just sit right back

and you’ll hear a tale

a tale of a fateful trip

that started in a pneumonic tube

aboard this tiny lift

The mate was a mighty trigger man

the opera singer; antiwar

A Back Mesa scientist fell in one day

to be heard from nevermore

to be head from nevermore

(things get weird after this point)

The puzzles started getting tough

the test subject was concussed

if not for the courage of crippled sentry

the scientist would be lost

the scientist would be lost

The scientist laid down on the floor of this

sterile empty room

with Widdershins

and Nigel too

The Companion Cube

And Hoopy the Hoop

The Opera Star

The Party Escort Bot

And Wheatley

Here in GLaDOS’ Lab

[esuemmanuel]

En El Humo Del Café.

Estuve mirándola por largo tiempo. El agua caía copiosa del cielo y el viento arreciaba. Temblábamos sólo mirar hacia la calle por la ventana. Estábamos esperando, cada uno, a que se nos sirvieran nuestras bebidas; ella en su mesa y yo en la mía. Leía atenta un libro de filosofía. Lo supe al ver el grueso de su tamaño y por la letras "Sartre" en la contraportada. Aunque no era raro ver a una mujer leer dicha literatura, no dejaba de causarme curiosidad, y es que su semblante no era el de cualquier mujer. Sus ojos llevaban el azul de los mares más profundos en las pupilas y eran protegidos por un gran armazón de color negro. Sus mejillas reflejaban el colorete de su maquillaje; sutil y agraciado, mientras sus labios sonreían ligeros al pasar la mirada por las hojas de ese libro que leía.

El mesero le acercó su bebida, después de varios minutos de espera, podía verse el humo ascender desde la taza. Hacía frío, sus manos temblaban. Soltó el libro para tomar, con ambas, la taza y calentarse. ¿Qué pensaba?, eso me pregunté al verla darle un soplido a su café para después sorber un poco, entibiando así a su boca.

La sentí llenarse de calor, aun sin estar cerca de ella y sin conocerla. Pude adivinar el gozo que su cuerpo experimentaba al sumergir en su boca el sabor de esa bebida. De repente, me llegó a la mente la imagen de un varón; alguien desconocido, así como ella. ¿Sería alguien importante? Seguramente, pues sus ojos brillaron con nostalgia y sus labios profesaron una queda palabra.

"Eras tú, ¿por qué te fuiste?", se dijo entre la lengua y los dientes, con los labios pegados a la taza, rozando la humedad de la espuma de ese café.

No la escuché, pero la sentí. Su corazón se afligía por no poder latir en su compañía. Fue alguien especial, pero ya no existía; le había arrebatado la vida un evento tonto, un accidente que pudo evitarse de haber puesto atención. Ella lo sabía y se lo recriminaba.

Esa noche habían peleado, se dijeron cosas que debieron callar, más por amor que por el peso de la herida, pero se dejaron arrastrar por el dolor. Era imposible no llorar, casi podía sentir el escalofrío que experimentó al verlo salir de casa. Ella supo que no iba a volverlo a ver. Su corazón se detuvo en ese preciso momento... y desde ese entonces no ha vuelto a latir.

"Morí contigo... Dime, ¿cómo puedo volver a vivir? ¡Tonta de mí al preguntarle a tu recuerdo, viniendo al lugar en el que te vi por primera vez", turbada se llevó las manos a la cara, quitó sus gafas y respiro profundo.

Una punzada, profunda y afilada, sentí en el pecho, produciéndome escozor y una sensación de vacío que cimbró a mi corazón. Me di cuenta de su falta de latido. Todo dentro de mí estaba hueco... Me estremecí.

La escuché llorar, pero su llanto no sólo le mojaba su rostro, también empapaba el mío copiosamente. Un nudo en la garganta comenzó a asfixiarme y a enrojecerme el pálido semblante. Me envolví en una mezcla extraña de calor y frío; un sentimiento de pérdida me invadió el alma entera. De pronto, ya no era ella, sino yo el que sollozaba frente a la taza de café...

La cafetería estaba sola y con las luces apagadas. La noche sucedía tranquila, mientras la luna triste se sonreía, dándole al tiempo el arrullo de una melodía que, en silencio, retumbaba al compás de mi agonía.

"Adiós, vida mía".

In The Smoke Of Coffee.

I stared at her for a long time. The water was pouring down from the sky and the wind was picking up. We were shivering just looking out the window at the street. We were waiting, each of us, for our drinks to be served; she at her table and I at mine. She was intently reading a philosophy book. I could tell by seeing how thick it was and by the letters "Sartre" on the back cover. Although it was not unusual to see a woman reading such literature, it did not cease to make me curious, for her countenance was not that of just any woman. Her eyes bore the blue of the deepest seas in their pupils and were protected by a large black frame. Her cheeks reflected the blush of her makeup; subtle and graceful, while her lips smiled lightly as she looked through the pages of the book she was reading.

The waiter brought her her drink, after several minutes of waiting, she could see the smoke rising from the cup. It was cold, her hands were shaking. What was she thinking, I wondered as I watched her sip her coffee and then sip some, warming her mouth.

I felt her fill with warmth, even without being near her and without knowing her. I could guess the joy that her body was experiencing as the taste of that drink sank into her mouth. Suddenly, the image of a male came to my mind; someone unknown, just like her. Would it be someone important? Surely, for her eyes glowed with longing and her lips professed one remaining word.

"That was you, why did you leave?" she said to herself between her tongue and teeth, her lips pressed to the cup, brushing against the wetness of that coffee's foam.

I didn't hear her, but I felt her. Her heart ached for not being able to beat in his company. He was someone special, but he no longer existed; his life had been taken by a foolish event, an accident that could have been avoided if they had paid attention. She knew it and berated herself for it.

That night they had fought, they had said things to each other that they should have kept quiet, more out of love than because of the weight of the wound, but they let themselves be dragged down by the pain. It was impossible not to cry, she could almost feel the shiver she experienced as she watched him leave the house. She knew she was never going to see him again. Her heart stopped at that very moment… and it hasn't beat again since.

"I died with you… Tell me, how can I live again, foolish of me to ask your memory, coming to the place where I first saw you," troubled she put her hands to her face, removed her glasses and took a deep breath.

A pang, deep and sharp, I felt in my chest, giving me a stinging and empty feeling that tingled my heart. I became aware of its lack of beat. Everything inside me was hollow…. I shuddered.

I heard her crying, but her tears were not only wetting her face, they were also soaking mine copiously. A lump in my throat began to choke me and redden my pale countenance. I was enveloped in a strange mixture of warmth and cold; a feeling of loss invaded my whole soul. Suddenly, it was no longer her, but me sobbing in front of the coffee cup….

The coffee shop was alone and the lights were off. The night passed quietly, while the sad moon smiled, giving time the lullaby of a melody that, in silence, rumbled to the beat of my agony.

"Farewell, my life."

— Esu Emmanuel©

[spikedkalopsia]

tag drop for bastard benry.

[sbnkalny]

It's a Bad Bat. If you don't do something before it swoops down on you...Well, just don't come running to me!

Cactus Joe is the quintessential American hero. he can shoot BULLSEYE through Five barrels of Whiskey while blindfolded. all women love him because he is A bad dude, though. maybe should give him... this! *hands you a pencil* here, with this bullshit anymore. We are unknown to ourselves, we knowers: and with my purchase immediately off myself 2 feet outside the store and get some rest And feel better when you're super sonic racing - running to The point Simple solution never confusion sport a gun

[this-should-do]

ykno what im gonna ramble a bit about gordon and barney and hear me by imagine dragons like

the first verse (its reslly just rwo lines but whatev) is like barney pleading/bargaining to a gone gordon after the rescas to somehow hear him and like its fine if gordons gone just Be gone in a knowable way

and ovs the lines about not breathing in his sleep his him grappling with just fucking depression and suicidal ideation from the Everything

and the next two lines are kinda represe ting him being angry at gordon and resenting him for being gone and leaving him to mourn him and the line "love is a game to you" is somethi g he said more light heartedly to gordon at black mesa but now the feeling around it is warped and painful

qnd the chorus in all cases is about barney feeling isolated and not in a place where he can talk about what hes feeling and feeling unable to mourn gordon in bis own way due to the mythos now surrounding gordon and now him saying i cannot breathe is less literal mwanjng hes got no space to breathe emotionally and also the suffocating state of being a cp and not being able to talk about that mess

and in the biggest verse the first 3 lines are about barney teying to get over gordon and what almost was with other people both romantically and through more familiar platonic ways, and the phrase if youre warm has two meanings, first that if ur warm as a person and feel in anyway alive u cant realte to him becuz he feels cold andcut off from the world emotionally

and it also is more solidly directed at gordon saying that if hes still alive he couldnt relate to barney anymore becuz barney may as well be dead as a human being, suffocating under the combine and the mask of a cp officer

and the seocnd half of the verse is like barney loving and carinf for others and having to force positivity in yhe face of overwhelming negativity and trying to hide his feelings of depression for alyx espdcially

and the last 3 lines that arent chorus are representkng the small part of barney tbat after 20 years still wants to be with gordon, and wants him to stay and thatvthey could eventually leave the mess of the combine behind them