#blåhaj be upon you

[boundinparchment]

Tanzanite Refractions

Dottore was protective of his machinery and his car was no exception. No one was allowed to touch this car, let alone help wash it. No one, that was, except for you. Dottore x GN Reader. For @surveyycorps 's Dottore Modern AU. Also on AO3 here.

Are you free today?  I could use your assistance with a personal matter.

You tried to ignore the little leap your heart gave when you checked your notifications that late spring morning and saw Dottore’s text.  It was likely nothing too serious.  A personal matter could be any number of things, you told yourself.  

He sent you an address upon a short exchange and within a few hours, you found yourself on the curb, looking up at a limestone house with a driveway off to the side, all of it framed by far too much foliage.  You got the sense, however, that he preferred it that way.  Initially, you considered approaching the front door; it wasn��t until you heard some noise coming from the driveway that you decided instead to walk up the asphalt.

The foliage continued here, too, sheltering the property.  Even here, in the middle of what was essentially suburbia, he still kept some qualities of his home in Sumeru (loath though he might be to admit it).  The garage, while not limestone, was clearly a carriage house at some point, judging from the doors.  Outside of it sat what you knew to be Dottore’s pride and joy, more than any other Ruin machine or other invention he’d set eyes on.  He wasn’t what you would classify to be a ‘car person’ in the traditional sense but there were few people he let be around the car, let alone in it.   The grill’s vertical teeth were aggressive but sleek, and at a quick glance, reminded you of the Blåhaj plushie you got him as an inside joke.  A BMW M8 competition coupe in tanzanite blue, a metallic blue that dazzled in sunlight.

You’d sat in the car twice; once when he picked you up for a date and once when he dropped you off.  The light interior was plush leather, some of the softest you’d ever encountered.  

A hose trailed from the spigot nearby, water quietly filling a bucket that, upon inspection, was already sudsing with soap.  You could just catch a sponge floating inside, soaking up liquid in preparation.

“Oh, there you are.  Impeccable timing, everything is almost ready.”

Dottore stood in the threshold of the garage, drying his hands on a towel.  Even today, on a warm spring morning, he was dressed in slacks and a button-down, his sleeves rolled up neatly to his elbows.  Did he even own anything else?

His crimson eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses.

You’d come prepared in clothes you could at least risk getting dirty.  A white shirt and modest shorts.  Simple.  Easy.  Especially considering he hadn’t explained what, precisely, you would be helping with.

But now, the task was obvious.

“You mean to tell me you actually wanted to spend time outside?” you teased.

“The weather is advantageous and I’m waiting on samples to proliferate as a pure culture.”

In other words, you told yourself, he had time.  A rarity as of late.

“As much as I enjoy doing this myself, it goes faster with two people and there are few I trust more with this masterpiece.  Besides, I thought perhaps you might stay for lunch.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks at the notion that, of all the things he could be doing, he was spending that time with you.  That he wanted to spend his free time with you.

The slim cut of his shirt was distracting on its own, when he wasn’t in motion, and your eyes continued to wander as Dottore took the hose from the bucket and, with a quick adjustment, began to rinse the car.  His shirt matched the car almost one-for-one, minus the metallic sparkle, and as you trailed the sponge across the side panel and then the headlight, you couldn’t help but watch his muscles flex beneath the fabric.

A shock of cold jolted you and you stumbled back, your shirt now damp.  Across the hood of the car, the Harbinger was aiming the hose back at the vehicle, as though nothing had happened, a knowing smirk on his lips.

“You were going to scratch the paint.  Do be more careful.”

His smirk only seemed to widen as you felt a pout dance across your lips.  You could be distracted later, you supposed.  After all, he’d invited you here for your help and because he believed you would treat the vehicle with great care as he did, not to…ogle.

You leaned over the hood of the car, squeezing the sponge to free some of the soap before running the sponge in circles over the surface, suds bubbling.  The car would absolutely glisten when you were done, you were sure of it.

But it seemed a crime not to appreciate his physique, especially when…

Did he even know what the sun did to his hair?

Another cold jolt, longer this time, and you did almost fall from the shock of the temperature.

Once again, the hose was back where it should have been.  Dottore was, instead, focused on a detail of the car you couldn’t see, his head cast towards the foot board.

As you made your way around the car, it kept happening.  A spritz here.  A spray there.  By the time you were done sudsing the car, your clothes were soaked .  Part of it was your own doing, having had to lean over the car to reach some parts of the hood and the back window, but most of it was the fault of the man still holding the hose.  

Despite the sunglasses, you could tell by the angle of his head when he was looking at you.  As you finished running the sponge over and through the spokes of the rims, you caught his head turned in your direction a few seconds longer than usual.  He’d already rinsed the rest of the car; there wasn’t much left to do except the wheels you cleaned and to let the car dry.  He returned his attention to the car to finish up rinsing the wheels before sighing silently in satisfaction.

The hood glimmered and sparkled to the point at which it looked like it had been painted with wet diamonds.  Beneath the metallic shimmer, the blue seemed to glow from within.  

And once again, you found Dottore watching you, his gaze burning across your torso.

Two could play that game.

You rose and closed the distance between you.  Dottore loomed over you in height but his lingering gazes and the cold fabric against your skin was making you bold.

“I thought you invited me over to wash your car, not for a wet tee-shirt contest,” you teased.  

His smug smile was all you needed, your hands pulling the hose from his just enough to maneuver the nozzle and find the trigger.  You were caught in the crossfire but ultimately successful in your goal by the time Dottore wrenched the hose from you and held it out of your reach.

His blue hair stuck to his forehead, dripping down over his shoulders, and his shirt clung to him perfectly.  Now you certainly could see every flex of muscle, his pecs and biceps far more pronounced than before.  You hadn’t managed to get his entire shirt but the lower half was damp enough to just reveal the rest of his torso.

He pulled his sunglasses down to give your torso a pointed look, his crimson eyes meeting yours once. His smile grew until he flashed his teeth, a low laugh shaking his shoulders.  Dottore then lowered his face to your ear, hair dripping onto your shoulder as he did so.

“But I didn’t wear white,” he whispered, his breath hot on your neck.  “I suppose you win, then.”

“What do I win?”

You swore you imagined the briefest brush of his lips against your pulse point before he stepped back and pushed his sunglasses back up.  

“You’ll find out once we get inside.”

His smug smile betrayed his words, the promise of more dancing across his lips.  You returned it, shaking your head slightly.

Help with a personal matter, indeed.

[dragons-official]

i think its funny people say blah-hazh (blåhaj). swedish å makes an aw sound. swedish j makes a y sound. i think it probably is pronounced more like blaw-hay? ah forget it, blah-hazh upon you

also just saw someone calling people blåhaj fuckers? no idea what that's supposed to mean. people who like ikea? people who masturbate with stuffed animals? the net is vast and infinite

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

Blahaj girls unite

Blåhaj girls unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains¹!

¹the empty and meaningless expectations of masculinity forced upon you

[its-a-hil]

k time for our regularly scheduled sleepy oversharing time (answering all the questions from this ask game)

(1) Do you have freckles? nope ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(2) Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? sometimes i drink tea if im sick or chai socially but thats basically it. chocolate is the closest thing i have to a regular stimulant

(3) What was the last song you listened to? this lagtrain edit idk i really like just. semi-chaotic noise that sounds out of place and a bit incongruent. probably why i like pokeloid

(4) Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? diagonalish but mostly on my side. i alternate sides though in fact i used to sleep on my stomach until i read a newspaper article that said a plurality of ppl sleep on their side and then i got scared and completely changed the way i sleep in like 6th grade in case you somehow needed more evidence im autistic

(5) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? blåhaj!! !!! !!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her need to clean her though also i stream with my hello kitty velvet and i think that's kinda relevant

(6) Do you prefer drawing or writing? i like both but i am so so so much less bad at writing so that's more fulfilling i need to do both a lot more though ive been procrastinating a lot of tales of luminaria writing and art that i feel a compulsive need to make since the game was shuttered

(7) What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? currently i sleep with blanket/comforter/blanket but i am still so so cold so i either need another blanket or one of them to be heated

(8) What’s your favorite band/artist? i mean there are a bunch that are all kinda at the same tier but i think inabakumori is at the top their vocaloids are just so. emotions

(9) When is your birthday? not gonna answer this but if you wanna check my bio every day for the next year until you see it flip to 23 i guess thats a thing you can do

(10) How tall are you? 178 cm (5'10") aka too tall please someone let me give you my height i dont fucking want it except in rock climbing it's useful for that but other than that the dysphoria is just not worth it hate hate hate

(11) What color are your eyes? brown, a bit darker than my skin but ive been complimented on my eyes by strangers more than like any part of my appearance combined so i am always confused like. theyre just my eyes! theyre pretty but only in the way that ppl eyes generally are idgi

(12) Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? i dont really want to hug anyone tbh like id be happy to hug a friend if they needed it but im just not feeling touch atm

(13) Fears? that samsara isnt real enough for me to defer all the experiences i dont want to miss out on to a different life also climate change also being at parties where im not super close with most of the people

(14) What’s your favorite color? the sky! i know everyone is probably tired of me saying it but i dont like the idea of picking one 'color' since that allows for so much variation, so i instead choose something that is constantly varying and always beautiful at every instant ive ever gazed upon it

(15) What’s your favorite season? summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer summer please it's so cold i want to be able to feel warm when i go outside and not feel like im killing the planet when i consider turning the thermostat up a degree

(16) Want any tattoos? What of? oh i absolutely want tattoos definitely one for outer wilds (the hourglass twins), and id be open to the berseria title card with velvet's hair flowing into the letters i just think that game is neat

(17) Want any piercings? Where? im happy with my recent earlobe piercings but it would be desi as fuck to get a nose ring so that also sounds pretty cool

(18) Who is the last person you texted? my parents telling them im coming home from work

(19) Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ closest thing is probably my college roommate for 3 years but he went to grad school in a different state so ive barely seen him since

(20) What/who do you miss? oh well that's a question and a half i miss my ability to just get a crush and imagine cute and unrealistic fantasy stories where i went out with them now a combination of adult™ realism and the couple years i spent beating myself up for ever feeling romantic attraction have made doing both of those things so much harder so i just stick to projecting myself in established plots i mean its better than it was near the end of high school but. not as good as middle school when i actively loved going to bed just so i could imagine whatever i wanted in the hourish before i fell asleep

(21) How was your day today? tired. slept too early last night and thus the day had no sense of urgency and my head felt very bleh the entire time

(22) How much sleep did you get last night? 8 hours which is kinda the problem i function best with having had 9-10 hours two nights ago and 4-6 hours the night of and whenever i try to get a regular person sleep schedule™ it just makes me feel bad

(23) Do you believe in aliens? not like conspiracy theories or anything like that but. the universe is so BIG and we're finding so many planets that it feels impossible for there to not be life elsewhere also $20 europa has whales in it

(24) When was the last time you cried? Why? idk crying is hard and has barely ever happened since i felt bad about crying at a book in 6th grade and hammered it out of my brain. clearly my masking behaviors have never once been self destructive and i am an extraordinarily well adjusted girlie more recently my parents probably said something that made me feel bad and i semi-succeeded at crying in the shower and forgot about it the day after

(25) What’s your favorite decade? is it really possible for me to answer anything but the present? theres only been one decade where ive been a girl for part of it theres only been one decade where i fell in love with the sound of my voice theres only been one decade where i lived for myself and not for who i expected myself to be

(26) What are some seemingly childish things you like? i mean. i watch cartoons and eat sweets and enjoy going outside and getting distracted by everything i see there not sure what it means for something to be 'childish' tbh

(27) What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? favorite book is the raven tower by ann leckie it's just. such a wonderful story in such a beautiful world that i feel like i was made for book ive read the most is probably son of neptune though, i know i spent a few months just kinda picking it up at a random page and rereading a few chapters every couple of days

(28) How are you, really? not answering this it's cliche and boring

(29) Does it take you a long time to make decisions? yes and no if a decision is right in front of me i'll make it fairly quickly if a decision is far away then i will procrastinate it to the point of absurdity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(30) What are you looking forward to in the near future? getting on injections! estrogen time :d

(31) What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 2024 eclipse!!!! !!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!!! i know with how much im hyping it in my head it'll definitely be covered with clouds at the place i go to but i! do! not! care! the 2017 eclipse is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen in the entire world and i need to see it again

(32) If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? i want to see the aurorae other than things like that im pretty comfortable sitting in my room, but the idea of viewing something so magical is just incredibly appealing

(33) Do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed otherwise my parents would see how messy my room is and the airflow would be wrong and its brighter in the hallway and just. no

(34) What’s your favorite flower? is it too cliche to say cherry blossom? i grew up near washington dc like going to see the cherry blossom festival is a part of my core identity

(35) Do you currently have a squish? not really but also my brain has a taboo against verbalizing any kind of attractive feelings so it's difficult to overcome that enough to process my thoughts without hating myself so i dont try

(36) Do you like your middle name? no it's just my dad's name, which already feels old-fashioned in indian terms let alone the fact that it sounds vaguely like a mildly off-putting (to me) phrase in english

(37) Do you prefer dogs or cats? i love seeing them both outside or in friends' homes and i am unlikely to ever adopt one so that's the extent of it

(38) Do you have any phobias? i dont think so

(39) Do you stay up late? not late enough

(40) Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? a not-sunny beach is definitely cold so. yeah. the last beach ive been to was in gdynia though so i might be unfairly projecting how cold the baltic sea is onto other beaches that are reasonable temperatures

(41) What’s your favorite cartoon? if we're counting anime: bna if we're not: amphibia actually now that i think about it i need to rewatch kipo and the age of wonderbeasts that was good

(42) Tag 5 of your favorite blogs no

(43) Do you have siblings? How many? one older sister

(44) Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? probably my parents

(45) Is there anyone you would die for? oh absolutely. loads. the more interesting question would be 'is there anyone you would kill for' and that is far far more difficult to answer

(46) What do you need when you’re sad? patience

(47) Have you memorized your phone number? ofc i have it has interesting math properties associated with it that i sadly cant say here bc saying all the properties, even in a relatively cryptic form, would narrow it down to like 10 options if someone knew my area code

(48) Who’s someone you can trust with your life? this question is ridiculous when cars exist. i have to trust pretty much every driver near me with my life whether im in a car or walking near a road so i dont view it as a particularly meaningful level of trust nor do i view my life as something particularly worth guarding so like. whatever, yknow? (note: this isnt a mental health thing it's a samsara thing dw) if this body dies it dies and i wouldnt want anyone i care about to feel responsible no matter what

(49) What does your last text say? already said it

(50) Wild Card. Any question, ask away. my favorite font is alegreya sc

[zwoelffarben]

Woe, blåhaj be upon you.

reblog to give your mutuals a BLÅHAJ

[benjaminthewolfnsfw]

Monkey In The Middle

So @dani-aka-that-one-namechanger 's request for something with "Mommy, Daddy, and tiny reader" is complete.

Now, this is my very first time delving into the realm of true erotica, so please understand that as you read. I'm just an 18 year old Demisexual virgin with absolutely no romantic experience either, so I did my best is what I'm trying to say. ****

     “Oh, my my…” Mommy Mearest lightly chuckled out whilst sensually grasping ahold of the opened, beckoning palm of her husband, a pondering twinkle in her gaze all the while. “Time does indeed fly fast when you’re not paying attention to its ticks…why it still feels like only yesterday that you saved our tiny friend from the cruelties lurking within our garden…”

     “They were attacked by a cat, my Mearest. There’s no need to be over-loquacious about it, not at all.”

     Mommy Mearest and Daddy Dearest proceeded to exchange an amorous bout of hearty chuckling, before finally diverting their gaze down towards you.

     “But yes, yes, of course, it is still quite strange.” Daddy Dearest pipes up whilst giving the top of your head a gentle pat with his pointer finger, causing you to tilt the thing off to the side with a silent, blushing grin in response.

     “Are you ready, little one?” he calmly asked upon finishing.

     You could not have given a prompter affirmation of your exuberancy, your excessively reddened, flushed face betraying rather efficiently your desierousness in that current moment. 

     “Well, well, well, look who’s all excited!” Mommy Mearest gently teased your tiny form as it was slowly risen up into proper position by Daddy Dearest’s other hand.

     You knew you were acting quite jittery, and yet, how could you not? Here they both were, the famed, beloved, and revered heads of the Dearest household, with their bodies unveiled in their entireties, right before your very eyes.

     On the left, the firm, smooth, and glossy, purplish breasts of Mommy Mearest gently jiggled about upon her chest as she moved, her delicate, silky skin glistening vibrantly in the low candlelight. 

     On the right, the rugged, untamed, hairy, chiseled pecs of  Daddy Dearest, laying open in all their wild glory, some brand of subtle, musky, animalistic body spray wafting its way over and into your awaiting nostrils as you reached the eye-level, at long, anticipating last, of both of the towering demons.

     “Now, what’s the safe word again, my little sweetie?”

     Swiftly repeating back the word “blåhaj”, with its proper pronunciation, of course, your gaze was immediately swiveled back over to the beloved, IKEA owned shark plushie lying on top of one of the pillows placed upon the ginormous bed, therefore prompting Daddy Dearest to give its head a little scratch as a result. Now that the Dearests were sure that you did, indeed, remember the safe word, however, it thus became time for the show, and the entertainment therein, to commence.

     Daddy slowly brought his hand closer to his maw, gradually parting his lips as well as his jaws in order to reveal onto you the slimy, heated, pinkish chamber laden within. This time, however, your goal was only to travel a few centimeters into the maw, rather than all the way deep inside of it, being careful not to scrape yourself upon the glistening, considerably sharpened demon teeth as you did. This was simply  because, as was soon to be corroborated by Mommy, the center of action today was not inside either of the demons’ enclosed stomachs, tonight, but rather, within both of their open, gaping maws.

     Mommy Mearest and Daddy Dearest swiftly brought their lips together as they clasped their hands onto each others’ heads, a jostling force which caused you to almost instantaneously slide forwards, outside of the jaws of Daddy Dearest, and into the chaotic middle ground where both Mommy and Daddy’s slickened tongues were locked in oozing, anarchic embrace, as a result.

     Pressed up against both surfaces of both tongues sometime soon thereafter, your form was forced as a result to bear the brunt of both demons’ brutal licking, and the combined, shared wetness of all of the dowsing saliva as well.

     Upon your frontside, Daddy Dearest’s tongue stroked itself generously up and down within a constant, steady moving pattern, as steady in his stroke as a swimmer preparing for their competition, slathering you all around, from your head, to your legs, and beyond, gracing the whole of your body with his warmed, yet dampened, glossy muscle, as such.

     Mommy Mearest, upon the other side of your body, was licking about in a far more irregular manner, the muscle winding upwards and downwards, left, right, and around, slickening up the sides of your body, your arms and legs, and so much more in a lawless, eccentric motion of movement, as if you threw a sheep into a lake.

     Saliva was flying in and around everywhere, criss-crossing about the two maws, the joined, devilish, giant demons sharing o’ so generously their sticky, warm bodily fluids as their tongues curled and curved in and around their shared target, glossening their body to a shine.

     The heaving, humid breaths from each pair of shuddering lungs shoved themselves up onto your miniscule form, the moist and steamy atmosphere only aiding your own body in the process of boiling your being to red. As your flushing, blossoming physique pumped yet more and more and more of its ecstatic, crimson blood through its veins, the nerves receiving the strokes from outside constantly sparked up and blazed as pleasured sensations seemingly tingled their way up through your spinal cord ad infinium, finally exploding out in glorious release within your brain, before the joyous aftereffects shuddered their way back down, and the cycle repeated once more.

     Whilst the viscous, gooey, sleekened pink muscles continued to intertwine amongst each other, catching you as the lucky one in-between, the equally pink, dangling uvulas located at the back of their throats similarly swung in cordial unison, their plump, rounded, succulent forms able to be enjoyed by you in all their glory as the tongues proceeded to gently swivel you about in a risen-up elevation, the roofs of their maws lifting up, seemingly in order to unveil to you in their midst the wondrous caverns they possessed, the depthened, spacious, gaping entryways onto a system of tightened, glorping turns, fully enclosed within each of their beings, surrounded in their entirety by the layers of their muscles, subcutaneous fat, and finally, their purplish skin. This was where all of that enjoyment began, the very first step in the journey. Yet somehow, that only made this introductory region of the body all that more special to you, locked inside of their bosom.

     Mommy Mearest and Daddy Dearest, located outside of it all, only pushed into each other even harder as the slight, salivating, slimy, thick leakage trailing down their cheeks onto their blanket only continued to flow unremittingly. Their bodies pressing down both aggressively and utterly restlessly upon the other’s weight left them only able to maintain their balance by moving their hands from the sides of each others’ heads and instead, throwing them around each others’ bodies in full. 

     Wrapping their limbs across and around the others’ sides, criss-crossing their holds over their backs, Daddy Dearest and Mommy Mearest thus connected their hands again at last, gripping and squashing into each others’ palms nicely and tightly amongst the others’ squishy, hot forms. 

     Finally focussing back in on their embracing, intertwined tongues as they squeezed each other tighter in a wildly heated snuggle, however, neither Mommy nor Daddy by this point had a feeling they’d be hearing the safeword any time soon.

     The devious, erratic, and certainly errotic dance being partaken by the three joined together by the wondrous chambers of the maws, continued itself on for a time in which none of the parties involved could in any way count the passing seconds, much less, the minutes, or the hours. Nobody knew how this encirclement was to finally break up. All that they knew for the moment was that they were here. They were here, and they were together. Together within this embrace, together within their heated desires. Together within the slimy fluids of their bodies. Together within their slickened muscles against the other. That was all that the two giants and one tiny situated there inside of that bedroom knew as the dance proceeded with practically unending relentlessness. 

     Where, exactly, would they all be in the morning? Who knew? Once again, though, that barely mattered. Just as long as no one said the safe word, they would all know to keep going. What event or what circumstances would finally bring the dance to a close? Again, that barely mattered. The bindings of mutual indulgence had wrapped their way around the married couple, as well as their thoroughly slimy little guest. Now, they were pledged to adhere, fated deep into the dancing in the dark, until the contracted desires-shattering morning light seeped through the windows once again.

[awesomeuchuu]

@bigtopveggie​

" ... ?―woah ! "

A soft, confused noise slipped out of Midori's lips upon being poked. He turned around, eyes widening in surprise.

" H―hello, Mr. Shark ... woah, you look so soft ... your snout is so cute ... how are you today ~ ? "

He might be ignoring the person holding the plushie, not even knowing who it is. He is solely focused on how cute BLÅHAJ the shark is.

Kanata brought his hand up to his mouth, hiding a giggle. The other hand, the one holding the shark, moved carefully, so that the shark continued to give Midori a peppering of small, affectionate kisses. 

“I was feeling a bit lonely,” the ‘shark’ replied. “But then I saw you and I knew I would not be very lonely anymore because we are friends now, are we not? Kiss, kiss...”

[bigtopveggie]

Kanata sneaked up next to Midori, smiling sweetly (?). Poke. Poke. Poke. There was a soft poke on Midori's cheek, on the opposite side of where Kanata was standing. Were Midori to look, he'd find himself face to face with a certain plush shark. "Hello, Midori~♪" Kanata said, trying to change his voice as if it was the shark speaking. He... wasn't very successful.

" ... ?―woah ! "

A soft, confused noise slipped out of Midori's lips upon being poked. He turned around, eyes widening in surprise.

" H―hello, Mr. Shark ... woah, you look so soft ... your snout is so cute ... how are you today ~ ? "

He might be ignoring the person holding the plushie, not even knowing who it is. He is solely focused on how cute BLÅHAJ the shark is.

[yaboithebees]

BLÅHAJ UPON YOU!!!! =D

[joshllyman]

“Oh ho ho!” Bokuto exclaims, coming upon the bins of stuffed animals. “What have we here?” He grabs a three foot long shark from the bin and lifts it above his head. “I will literally pay you money to not sing that shark song right now,” Kuroo says as he catches up. Bokuto frowns. “I was gonna do ‘Circle of Life,’ but you’re right, ‘Baby Shark’ would have been better in that moment.” *** In which Bokuto brings home far more than he bargained for, Akaashi gets creative, Akaashi gets jealous, and Kuroo lives his best life.

[ao3feed-haikyuu]

baby blåhaj in the deep blue sea

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2YaUq1T

by joshllyman

“Oh ho ho!” Bokuto exclaims, coming upon the bins of stuffed animals. “What have we here?” He grabs a three foot long shark from the bin and lifts it above his head. “I will literally pay you money to not sing that shark song right now,” Kuroo says as he catches up. Bokuto frowns. “I was gonna do ‘Circle of Life,’ but you’re right, ‘Baby Shark’ would have been better in that moment.” *** In which Bokuto brings home far more than he bargained for, Akaashi gets creative, Akaashi gets jealous, and Kuroo lives his best life.

Words: 4641, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Haikyuu!!

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Akaashi Keiji, Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi

Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou

Additional Tags: Hijinks & Shenanigans, IKEA, i'm absolutely delighted that that's already a tag, Humor

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2YaUq1T

[togglesbloggle]

Reblogging for the slightly-later-in-the-day crowd. There have already been a ton of wonderful responses; thank you very much to everyone who responded already. May Bionicles and Blåhaj rain down upon your houses.

Thanks in particular to the people that were willing to discuss anxieties, worries, and the less photogenic parts of their experience. That's a hard thing to do, particularly for somebody you don't know, and it also happens to be exactly what my friend needs right now. You've been brilliant.

A request for Persons of Trans that might be following me:

I have a friend with some gender going on, and some strong anxieties associated with it. They're interested in reaching out to some trans women that have already been down this road, but they're also particularly worried about being offensive, or just a burden on others. To quote (with permission) directly:

"I've been trying to find a way to ask trans women who I trust how they actually managed to overcome the worry about forever just being a fucked up, failed guy in a dress, who's publicly known to be a deviant to everyone, and is also giving up every bit of social privilege that keeps me just barely hanging on to the edge of society already. And just, there's no ways to put those words down that doesn't read like the shittiest terf asshole ever, coming in just to sealion about all the bullshit that trans women already hear constantly."

I have a fairly strong belief that this is a very common fear for trans women just starting the transition process, and that feeling this way won't read as offensive at all. At my friend's request, therefore, I wanted to see if any of my followers- particularly trans women that share this kind of experience- might be willing to reach out to a stranger in need, have some conversations about these feelings, and help provide some spaces where the gender stuff can be processed in a safe and supportive way.

Alternately, if you don't want to commit to a whole thing, any kind of general advice or comments would be appreciated- they'll be reading the replies, tags, and comments.

[bubacorn]

exciting! i wish you luck finding the perfect one 🌻

i always feel so silly for having written so many plushie fics only to not actually be able to say much about them. i have my Blåhaj and in the summer, i stumbled upon her in a grocery store

it's funny how i only found out that she's supposed to be a bigfoot now when i was looking for a picture. she's on my bag and i think she's pretty cute. squishy and all

💜

hey Flood! talk to me about plushies if you want 🌻 i'm sending a warm hug, i wish you well 🫂

Buba my dear 🖤

I think it's nearing time to add another plushie to the collection, but I'm not sure what. Perhaps one of the weighted ones?

Tell me about your favorites! (Please. If you would like.)

[nuggettiana]

Whether this is mean or not depends upon whether the blåhaj had given consent. If you follow the universal guide to consent you will find the blåhaj can't give consent therefore it's mean

Big fan of heretical but tempting images