#bkl countdown

[mirrorballwhoistrying]

Sky Blue January (02.02.2024)

Hey, it's me again! I can't believe a month of 2024 is gone already. Who said January was moving slowly didn't make sense. I never feel like time ever moves slowly. It moves a little a time then all at once. Oop! Just like growing up!

I had a countdown party at my cousin's house on New Year's Eve. It was fun until the topic of marriage was constantly brought up. I wasn't even surprised. My brother was the main target. He left early and never came back. Good for him as I would do the same.

I woke up to New Year late as I should. I had a haircut. That's already the norm, right?

The next day, January 2nd I went to Chef Nak's house with BKT and BSR for photoshooting. The main purpose was not only for the photo shoot but also to talk about the unfinished work. Things were going okay until discussing with BSR. What I could hear from him was that my work is not worthy for him to pay a lot. A side of me wanted to prove him wrong and tried to do my best, but then on the way home, I became mad and decided that if people not going to see value in my work, then I was not wasting time trying to prove them. Did I do the right thing? Is this a sign of my lack of communication skill and collaboration skills? Is this what's costing me all the good opportunities?

On the first weekend, I went on a trip with BKT and BKL. This is definitely another occasion that sent me into another existential crisis. They lived in a very different world from my usual circle and that's somehow all my friend groups are. They are rich and talk about businesses and having fun. Money isn't their concern, but it's about love and friendship. I had fun of course but a different kind of fun, but a good thing is I know they are people I can count on, right?

I also started posting content back on social media. In a way, I feel so lost in direction. Am I doing the right thing? Do people even care what I'm saying? Am I not trying hard enough? Am I trying hard in the right direction? What does it all lead up to? Why do I have to question so much instead of putting effort into making it good and happen?

I finally announced my resignation to my teammates. They were so sad and really wanted me to stay. I feel so lucky to have them for real.

I have to address the elephant in the room. I was selected for YSEALI AFP! Damn! My 5 years of effort finally paid off! I was so happy, but I also hated another part of me that immediately started asking "What's next?" Why can't I live in the moment instead of always constantly looking for what's next? I really need to enjoy the moment and appreciate my efforts. I know for sure that I'm the oldest in my cohort but I don't care as long as I'm going to the US!

I went to G sauna and on a date. It was nice and I'm glad and I put myself out there again. Workwise, it's also really hectic at the workplace as it's still the peak season. I sent a message to VT to separate PPUB but she hasn't responded yet. I made up my mind and she's not going to change that.

I'm 25 this year. I feel such an existential crisis. Most of my peers are either in their family era or cooperate era because they finished their academic era already. I feel like I'm still starting. This is a hard thing I have to constantly tell myself to stop living my life based on society's pressure, and limited belief... I can travel around, enjoy the view, and arrive at the destination. I should enjoy the journey instead of rushing to finish the race. It was always about the journey.

I feel so old when there are these young upcoming youths lately. Maybe that's what I shouldn't worry about. It's not about competition. It's about helping one another win.

I feel lost, to be honest on what I should focus on now. Should I focus on switching my career? Should I focus on building my project? Should I focus on academic things?

Or maybe I shouldn't be stressed out too much. I learned from Taylor that I can switch from one era to another era any time. I really just have to focus on choosing one thing in front of me and focus on it and make it the best I can. It's easier said than done, but I'd do the best I can for 2024 because I'm in my 1989 era!

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 2.

TWO MORE DAYS LEFT! I hope you are as excited for my top 3 as I am!

If you are still unsure about Bellarke, watch this. I watch it too when I get a little anxious about not getting a canon relationship. But the scripts give them away. You find those words and suddenly you are 100% sure that they are so deeply in love, because you don’t want to runaway with a person who doesn’t mean anything to you. You don’t call him your ‘another piece of your soul’. You don’t sacrifice hundreds of lives for one person.This is IMPOSSIBLE unless you are in love with him.

Once again thank you so much for @teamhodgins for proving us that we should BELIEVE IN BELLARKE.

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 7.

Today I really wanted to share only one video, but you know what? I simply couldn’t choose. Because these two are my very favourites FOR NO GOOD REASONS. For real. I tried to find out why I love these so much, maybe just the music, or how it fits perfectly the scenes or just the slow pace of the videos. If I want to rewatch a Bellarke video, it’s 90% sure that I would choose between these two. These have a special space in my heart, so please watch them!

Thank you @itsjustawave and @dead-set-on-yoouu for creating these masterpieces I own you a lot!

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 9.

I have to admit I was really excited about sharing these videos. I already listed them in my previous countdowns and shared them many times on tumblr but I just can’t get enough of them.

I am a huge Disney fan apart from the show, but the Bellarke parallels with Tangled, Anastasia (and in other videos Lion King 2 of course) are so good that I couldn’t miss to include them on this list. These amazing pieces are from coldrequiem and Juli Grisel ( @itsjustawave ). So grateful for these artists!

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day before the premiere

I can’t believe that tomorrow (in my case a day after) will be our very last season premiere.

When it comes to Bellarke fanvideos I naturally gravitate more towards the old ones, which emphasize their dynamic from the early seasons. I just loved their enemies to co-leaders period. It was hard to admit that I haven’t found my favourite vid which also contains S6...

... until I’ve found this. This is LOVE people, my new obsession, the video that I can watch every single day many times and I don’t get tired of it. And I can’t really tell you why.

Maybe I love the fact that it is focusing on the CPR scene and the other ones complete them so well and also fit with the music.

This masterpiece is made by Hirata S.

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 8.

So prepare yourself because these two are the last ‘easy’ videos before we get really emotional. Between only choices, war and drama we always get some funny scenes and flirty moments and I love that @teamhodgins made the perfect fanvids about them. Once again I couldn’t choose between them so please enjoy both!

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 5.

Last night I accidentally fell asleep so here comes day 5.

I just recently found this video but it made a huge impact on me. I think that there are only a few videos from Bell’s point of view and after watching it I get hopeful for Bellarke again. It is so hard to see his struggle in season 6, and the parallels with previous seasons reminds me the great love story that was building up to this point from the beginning. Thank you for ilonaax for this masterpiece!

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 6.

‘ Just please don't say you love me 'Cause I might not say it back Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping When you look at me like that ‘

I realized that almost every love song fits Bellarke perfectly. But these lyrics just describes their dynamic so well, because they used every single version of ‘I love you’ before and their story is full of unfinished conversations. They both feel it, they both know that it is something more, but just can’t get there. I love how @teamhodgins put this piece together emphasizing the longing looks and their never ending struggle to express their feelings to each other. A masterpiece!

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - day 4.

I included this video at the very last minute on my list but as soon as I have found it I knew that the way @teamhodgins portrayed this parallel makes it a must have piece. Josephine and Gabriel. One more canon couple that is intentionally written the way to prove that Bellarke is deeply in love. And you can’t change my mind.

[bellarkekomlovekru]

C O U N T D O W N - premiere day!

It’s PREMIERE DAY!

This is my very last countdown’s very last videos. I can’t tell you how sad but also excited I am for this. I want to end this journey with my two favourite vidders of all time.

Juli and Sara, @itsjustawave and @teamhodgins thank you so much for choosing this fandom, putting all those hours and work in these masterpieces, and being here from the beginning. Your videos brought me so many emotions, joy, sadness, anger, smiles, tears... I will be forever grateful for you! I don’t know if you will ever read this but I just wanted to write this down because you have to know that your work means so much for many people!

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

I won’t talk about the videos, because these are the greatest Bellarke videos of all time. Just watch them.