#bitty pea

[hashileio]

pringle & pea are off to cause mayhem and promise to be back before 8pm

[cubbihue]

It would be nice to hear from Wanda and Cosmo! It is kind of nice that you guys have two children like your own family does. Are you two still close to your siblings? Wanda has a sibling and Cosmo also have a sibling just like Timmy and Peri. Do they share some sibling stories to your children?

Wanda and Cosmo both reconnected with their siblings shortly after having Peri. Or, well. More like Blonda reentered their lives once she realized she had a baby nephew. Eventually, they slowly patched things up the more Blonda came to visit Peri.

Schnozmo was dragged back kicking and screaming. Mama Cosma refuses to have her sons live estranged lives now that she has a grandchild in the picture. Schnozmo doesn't know how to handle children, but he's doing his best.

Peri likes Schnozmo because he makes silly noises and funny stories. But he prefers Blonda's theatrics much more and loves playing Dress Up with her.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[6-million-bees]

My mom keeps on talking about how I don't know love until I have a child.

Well guess what! I have a baby

My baby:

She's so fucking cute

[trashcatmonster]

hehehe here’s something for @hashileio with their bitties pringle and pea, i hope you guys enjoy!

---

The cliff is tall, dangerous, a too loose grip could send him plummeting to injury and agony below. It sends a thrill through him as he hoists himself up onto an edge, rough texture teasing at his bones and catching at his clothes.

Pea is somewhere above him, scouting out new hand holds while Pringle takes a second to catch his breath. Shit it was a lot of work to get up this high. He leans forward a little, grunting in acknowledgment when Pea grabs his hood to keep him from tumbling to the ground far below them.

He can’t even see the path they’d made while they were climbing, and tipping back showed just how far they had to go still. (Technically, they could both just short cut to the top, but Pea had said something about that taking the adventure out of it, and Pringle kind of agreed. More fun this way.)

“OUR GOAL IS JUST A LITTLE FURTHER!” Pea says, drawing Pringle’s eye lights to him. He’s got stars in his sockets, the blue shapes shaded with the yellow of justice magic shining through his patience.

Pringle’s sharp grin grows.

“ungodly amounts of treasure here we come,” he says, snickering when Pea’s excitement manifests as a loud whoop.

He rests for a few more minutes, and then he’s scrambling to his feet so Pea (who had already scaled another precarious edge) could pull him up the surface they were climbing.

What felt like hours later, Pringle could see the top. The massive mesa with a gold mine, waiting just for him and Pea to plunder it.

“What are you two doing in my laundry?”

Pringle yelps at your voice, foot slipping off a fold in a silky fabric that didn’t have a whole lot of great traction in the first place.

“PRINGLE!” Pea shouts, already on his knees atop the wadded shirt he’d been resting on while he waited for Pringle to catch up, hand outstretched like he’d be able to catch him.

(He could’ve with blue magic, but that would ruin the drama of it all.)

Thankfully, Pringle doesn’t have to worry about actually hitting the floor and getting a little bruised because you’ve swooped in and snatched him out of the air.

Pringle breathes heavily, magic flaring in his bones while he stares up at you and your exasperated look.

“I leave for five minutes, and you two are scaling my laundry basket?” you ask, looking away from Pringle and towards Pea who, in your distraction, was now struggling to get onto the coffee table.

Pringle panics, wanting to let Pea get to the prize they’d been chasing, and immediately latches his fangs into your thumb.

You yelp, but Pringle has bitten you enough times by now that you don’t drop him.

“Hey!” you protest, using your other hand to gently pry Pringle away from you. He lets go, because he doesn’t actually want to make you bleed, and you wisely hold him aloft by his jacket.

Pea lets out a victorious shout, and Pringle grins when you look at his comrade just he shortcuts off the table into their rendezvous point. The other bitty had rightly assumed you would probably try to discourage their pilfering of your candy, and had set a point for them to meet back up later if either of them got compromised.

The look you give Pringle is exasperated but fond, your hand on your hip as you watch him with a raised eyebrow.

Pringle just continues to give you his shit eating grin, hanging limply from your fingers.

“Alright, you guys thought that one out pretty well I guess. Enjoy your stolen chocolate,” you tease, setting Pringle down and snorting when he shortcuts to where he knows Pea has hunkered down.

“Absolute handfuls,” you mutter, rolling your eyes and sitting on your couch so you can resume folding your laundry, “honestly.”

[chigirisprincess]

i wana write kafka porn so bad but i DO NOT wanna play hsr

[blkkizzat]

@ 𝙭𝙓𝘿𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙂𝙤𝙙69𝙓𝙭 𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮...

AND GOD KNOWS I'M TRYIN', BUT THERE'S JUST NO USE IN DENYING... ❤︎︎︎︎ THE OTAKU IS MINE ❤︎︎

⏯︎︎ OTAKU!GOJO X BIMBO!READER SERIES

bunny, how on earth did you end up dating this huge otaku nerd? urgh, you actually like him and match his freak too? and he buys you what?! omg! what will your friends think?!

⏯︎︎ 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘

𖦏 genre: college au

𖦏 ratings: 18+MDNI. unprotected, ecchi gojo, dubcon, cnc, bdsm, puppy play, public sex, creampies, spanking, sugar daddy/baby dynamics, edging, squirting, threesums, femdom, the ridiculous ass pervy pet names gojo gives you & reader is called 'bunny' in lieu of 'y/n'. each story will have warnings on its story page.

𖦏 pre register: comment to be tagged. i may not respond to everyone but rest assured if you comment you will be tagged!

𖦏 gamer's guide: all fics are listed in chronological order, but likely won't be written in chronological order. summaries subject to change slightly. they also will be written over time so please don't rush me for the next installment but feel free to ask me questions i love talking about this lil freak❤︎︎

⏯︎︎ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘:

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟏: ❝ DIGIMON—BUT MAKING U CUM IS MY REAL HOBBY! ❞

𖦏 your best friend gojo is a hopeless otaku virgin with zero rizz that's still obsessed with digimon—despite being a grown ass man. you're a slut who despite her best whoring efforts—can't cum. you'll take his v-card and he'll fix your broken pussy, deal? ⏯︎︎ plays: 13.3k

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟐: ❝ STICKS N' STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT CHAINS N' WHIPS EXCITE ME! ❞

𖦏 so now that you have a filthy rich boyfie who is completely obsessed with you and has moved you into his house, you're winning, right? or you will be at least— if can survive a trip to the sex dungeon. don't worry it's professionally sanitized after each use! ...what? that's not what you're worried about? oh... ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟑: ❝ AND ALL OF THAT WAS OKAY, CAUSE IT WAS IN A 3-WAY!❞

𖦏 the three of you: you, gojo and geto are like peas in a pod, especially since its summer! and if two of you start f*cking in that pod well its only natural that the third want to join in, right? besides, you both already want to f*ck him. just make sure your current boyfie doesn't get too jealous from how hard you are moaning on your other besties' joystick. your only his ecchi angel, remember? ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟒: ❝ IN THE BEDROOM I BE SCREAMIN', BUT OUTSIDE I KEEP IT QUIET—OR TRY TO AT LEAST!❞

𖦏 you can only keep your relationship underwraps from the rest of your friend group for so long. but you need to ease them into the idea first! although, when there's a yacht party for nanami's bday how is your uber clingy otaku boyfie supposed to keep his hands off of you when you're looking like the most perfect pervy princess in that itty bitty swimsuit? ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟓: ❝ YEAH, HE MY MAN, HE WAS NEVER YO TYPE! ❞

𖦏 school is back! thankfully you somehow manage to instill some kind of decency into your otaku boyfie over the summer so he can come across as normal enough to make his own friends. but did you do too good of a job? wait, he actually has a lil rizz now? you mean you aren't the only girl attracted to him anymore... hol'up! ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

𝐥𝐯𝐥 𝟔: ❝ MOVE IT UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, OH—SWITCH IT UP LIKE NINTENDO! ❞

𖦏 hey, when did you become freaker than your otaku boyfie? so he caught you touching yourself to his femdom p0rn when he came back early from a business trip? yikes! now he wants to try it out with you? don't worry you will do a great job training your new play puppy boyfie! ⏯︎︎ plays: lvl in-progress

⏯︎︎ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:

𖦏 soundtrack: [ x ] 𖦏 moodboards: [ lvl 1 ] 𖦏 faq/thirsts: [ x ]

©𝐛𝐥𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐚𝐭 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐟𝐱, 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞.︎︎

[pedge-page]

omg imagine PK x Plushies i love you so much girl you are amazing

Plushies x Piss Kink Crossover - Joel Miller x F!Reader

Notes: The crossover that was bound to happen and its HEREREEEEEEEE. This is more Plushies!verse setting and they discover a lil piss kink.

Warnings: PissKink, Plushies humping, yes we are peeing on the plush, premature ejaculation, assisted male masturbation, crying, jealous!Joel, and a HINT (just a bit) of sub!Joel at the end

18+ ONLY

- - - -

“What’s this one? Benny the Buffalo?” Joel asks, staring down at the brown fuzzy stuffed animal in his hands.

“No, dummy, that’s Biscuit, the Bison,” you retort, not even looking at him as you continue reading.

The two of you are lying down on your new “shared” bed, and Joel has decided its time he get to know his roommates on first name basis.

“Course. And this?” He snatches the white rabbit next. “BunBun?”

“Carrot.”

“Appropriate. How about Ghosty over here?”

“Casper.”

“How original. Aaaannnddd....?” He shoves the next one in your face to get your attention: a fat baby chick with an enormous orange bill.

“Mr Quakers,” you answer matter-of-factly.

“I bet he’s loads of fun on that little nub of yours,” he snickers. He tosses the poor chick like a free-throw basketball across the room.

He grabs the next one, buried waaaay in the back of your bed under all the rest. “Alright, Let me guess… Hammy the Hamster.”

“No that’s—“ you take one look at the one currently in his palms: a medium sized hamster with bitty hands and a large head as big as his squat body. Quickly hiding your shocked expressions, you go back to your book and say very casually, “Um…that’s… Frank.”

“Frank?”

“Mhm.”

“Just Frank.”

“Yup.”

“Frank the Hamster. How does that make sense?”

“Well I didn’t name him.”

“And who did?"

You swallow, wondering why Joel’s got so many goddamn questions about the naming conventions of your stuffed animals. “Um … Frank did…”

“Stuck up fella, naming the thing after him. Who was this “Frank” then. Your uncle? Was he as perverted as me?”

“No. Frank’s… my ex.”

Your face feels hot, avoiding his gaze and trying to look anywhere but at him. 

Joel stares at you with an unreadable expression, then back to the fisted squishy hamster plush. He contemplates for what feels like an eternity. There’s an uneasy silence hanging in the air, and your heart is beating out of your chest, wondering what he may be thinking about those word resonating in his ears.

He clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth into diamonds while looking at something so extremely soft and huggable. You hope maybe he’ll just dropkick it out the window at worst, but instead: 

“Hands and knees on the floor. We’re fucking Frankie the Hamster tonight.”

-

There was no “we”. What he really meant was YOU are fucking Frank the Hamster tonight, and he is pinning you down and forcing you to grind on it harder.

“Joel—that—feels… uncomfortable.”

He’s not rubbing his cock along your ass, or nudging your clit or kissing you. Instead, he’s caged you between the thick mass of his sold body and the hamster on the floor, your legs spread out with his knees along the inside of your calves to keep them open.

He keeps rubbing along your pelvis, palm digging into the squishy part right below your belly, pressing hard against your bladder.

“Joel,” you warn again. Your legs quiver with the rapid build, too afraid to push him off entirely. He’s steaming, that’s for sure, but why torture you above the little helpless guy?

“S’matter? You don’t like rubbing your slutty pussy over your ex’s face?”

“It’s just a stuffed animal—ow!” You cry as Joel pinches your nipple through your shirt.

“You grind on Frankie’s face before?”

“N-no. Never,” you swear. 

“Mmm. Not sure I believe you, sweet pea. Kept him all these years, didn’t ya?”

You shake your head, too afraid to face him. You really hadn’t been grinding on the hamster ever. In fact, you nearly forgetting of his existence until Joel fished him up while asking everyone’s name. 

He forces your back to arch even more drastically, putting more pressure between your naked cunt and the soft squish bellow you. You furrow your brows, fear creeping between your spread legs, unable to clench against something to brush off the mounting pressure in you.

“Joel please—I really need to go...” you didn't want to finish the sentences. He wasn't pleasuring with his hands you in the right places so much as building pressure in the wrong one.

“Go where? I’m all you need. Right. Here.” His fingers dig possessively into your side while his other hand pushes into your lower belly.

You shake your head again. Heart racing now that you no longer care about your pleasure and are more concerned with the mess of forbidden bodily fluids you’re about to rain all over your poor Frankie—

It hits you with burning desire mixed with an irksome bile. You gasp out angrily. 

This. Mother. Fucking. Asshole.

Joel smirks into your neck behind you, as if reading your mind figuring out his evil little plan. 

“S’wrong, angel? Would you rather be doing this with any of MY plushies I’ve spoiled you with?”

“I—you—“ you grit your teeth, eyes closing as a wave of panic washes deep through your core. You’re desperate not to make a mess, a fool of yourself to tame his sadistic need to own every inch of control over you.

He hears the little staggered pants from your lips. “Do it,” he commands softly but with finality, laced with a sadistic “win” for him.

A tear slips down your cheek as you moan sadly, your stomach giving up and unclenching as the walls of your bladder breaks, and hot urine spills into the stuffed animal’s face currently wedged so tightly against your entrance. 

“Shhhhhh,” he coos, finally grinding himself against your ass. He can hear the feint rushing liquid of your piss splatting into the cotton. 

He presses you further into its plush softness, suffocating every inch of your crotch so that it absorbs all the nasty warm juice squeezing out of you like a lemon. Your legs quiver violently as you can’t help but release more and more, flowing out as if by his demand and feeling the poor plush get heavy with the rush filling its cotton innards up.

"Naughty girl, am I making you piss all over your ex's face? Little Frankie doesn't deserve that does he?" He taunts, fully well intending for this to exactly happen as he wanred.

There’s so much, and another tear slips passed you, but this one because it feels so—relieving. It’s gross and nasty, embarrassing and heartbreaking all at once, and it makes you hump against him and the dampened hamster even more. 

Joel feel the quickened breaths coming out desperately from your nose as you grind down on the defiled thing all soaked up with your own piss. Your hips are frantic, smothering your cunt with the piss-logged plush desperately, as if you were trying to...

“Shit—are you…?”

You cry out in response, mouth agape with satisfied groans when you clit catches along the wet seams just right and you find yourself cumming on the sad wet thing drowned below you.

Joel clears his throat in surprise. His cock pulses on its own and floods the inside of his pants in white strings of his seed.

Did he think you would probably cry? Yes.

Did he want you to pee and destroy your ex’s little gift to you? Yes.

Did he expect you to fucking cum from it? Um.

Did he know HE would cum from it??? No. Definitely not. 

His teeth grind against one another trying not to think about how perverted he is, pulling away from you so you can’t feel his sticky spent through his trousers and on to your back. 

The squishy lump below you begins seeping the now cooled piss into the floor boards. You sigh deeply, not sure what to do now that your little punishment has turned into—something wilder.

You feel a gentle kiss along your cheek, his thumb caressing away your tears.

“That was hot,” He admits plainly.

You cover your face to hide your smile. It’s gross. It really is. Should be embarrassing. You don’t even want to think about the hamster on the floor, the memories you’ve just soddened with your own fucking piss. 

He helps you off the floor. Your thighs still shake, the uncomfortable feeling hanging there in disgust now that you’re mentally sober again.

He guides you to the shower where you both wash up quietly.

“Um—listen I didn’t… I don’t know why you would keep your ex’s stuff but…I mean I’m reasonably… it doesn’t make me feel great, so ya can’t blame me, for getting jealous—“

You shut him up but tugging against his half hard cock.

“First of all,” you say, the sudden boldness in your voice blanking his mind into submission under your touch.

“That plush, was from my first boyfriend—in high school. We dated for 2 months,” you continued, your fingers gripping his base with a gentle squeeze, feeling him swell to full mass, “and then he realized he liked boys. That was it. We laughed about it and stayed good friends. He gave me the stuffed animal as a parting gift to college for helping him through it all.”

You stop rubbing his cock and Joel opens his eyes. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“So…Frank’s just… a friend…”

You kiss his collarbone. “Just a friend,” you repeat.

The water coats his back soothingly. An ache that had formed in his muscles, the strain of aggression tickling his brain from the minute he heard you had a stuffed animal named after your ex, still in your bed after years, had suddenly vanished. 

“Why—why would you say hes your ex and not just your old friend? Why'd ya let me make you do that to it?” He asks, concerned now that he’s ruined something sentimental to you over his quickness to jealousy.

“Because—“ you nip along the swell of his chest, both hands working along his hardened cock. “You wanted it.” Your thumb swipes along his tip, the precum feeling sticky despite the shower water drenching you. 

He moans, head falling into your shoulder as he thrusts his length into your palm. 

As your wrist continues to jerk him off, your lips ghost the shell of his ear with a deadly, lascivious whisper: 

“And I’m too crazy for you to say no.”

- - - -

Permanent Taglist

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[miasmaghoul]

do you think the ghouls would be allowed to have pets

I think, for the most part, animals flee from the ghouls. They're predators, and most anything with the sense to run from them absolutely will.

There are a few exceptions, though.

@forlorn-crows and I both headcanon that Mountain has a "pet" raccoon called Hank. He lives in the forest but hangs out in the greenhouse from time to time and steals any crunchy snacks he can get his paws on. This includes raiding Mountain's vegetable garden - he's a fiend for sugar snap peas. Hank also has a girlfriend, a sleek white cat named Juniper. She also lives in the forest, and Mountain isn't sure how but she's always perfectly clean. There's definitely something a bit unnatural about her, but Mountain isn't worried about it.

Rain has an albino hognose snake he inherited from Mist, a gift to her from Secondo that she couldn't bear the thought of leaving to anyone else when she chose to return to the Pit. Her name is Bucatini and Rain adores her. He'll frequently have her draped around his neck or let her twist herself around his horns. Otherwise she lives in a very elaborate tank in his room, happy as a clam.

Dew isn't really one for animals, doesn't like them any more than they like him, with the exception of one itty bitty black kitten that seems to haunt the crypts of the former Papas. He hasn't given it a name, but every time he goes down to pay his respects it's right there waiting for him. It never seems to grow, just a little handful of fluff, but it will appear and sit right between his boots while he prays. He's asked around once or twice, but near as he can tell no one else has ever come across that little black furball with the greenest eyes he's ever seen. It isn't a pet, but it's the closest thing he's gonna get.

That's all I've got for my personal lore!

[wishmaster]

My, my, my, my...advent calendar sounds quite interesting. Perhaps I may indulge, myself in one of these fine chocolate confectionaries . Tis the season and all, yes? I pull drop, I say ummmmm....number 17. Seem quaint enough. My, my, my, my. It's a golden wrapped statue of a man, I unwrap the covering and see a well built man made of chocolate with a big head as I bite in to it, there's this tiny, itty bitty pea sized pink gummy in his head. Odd. Oh, I feel odd.

Suddenly all of you knowledge disappears turning to cum in the balls of your very large cock, you very slow mind does understand the first shot of your new cum will sign your fate and leave you nothing more than a sex hungered himbo. Your ass and dick to be used for pleasure, a fuck boy will be your life, but what's worse is the ass your cum flows in to belongs to your best mate who bought you the calendar in the first place, as you pump your load into him, all you were merges with him, you darkest desires and secrets now his to use against you even though in the eyes of the world your nothing more than a perfect piece of ass to use. And use you your mate will, day after day leaving you to workout in the hours he was away.

[queenimmadolla]

could we have a baby blurb from the pennyverse?

i know youre writing for it in your big updates so thats fine if not!!

penny hurting herself and eddie either freaking out or trying to comfort reader?

pregnant reader?

Uhhhhhhh, YES YOU CAN! Except it is so not a baby blurb because I got carried away, lol. I can’t help it, i love them so much. Hope you like it!

warnings: a little bit of angst bc penny hurts herself :( but reader and Eddie come to the rescue, pregnancy :), no use of ‘y/n’.

(Dad!eddie munson x mom!reader, and also pregnant!reader)

more pennyverse here :)

“Penny, I’m serious. Get down from there.”

His toddler pouted, plump lower lip stuck out as her eyebrows furrowed to convey her sadness at being scolded.

“But Daddy—.”

“No ‘buts’,” Eddie added, raising an eyebrow down at her, oh? You’re really not gonna listen?

Penny slumped under the look and let out a long whine.

Reluctantly, the flats of Penny’s feet met the ground as she carefully lowered her foot from the shelf of the bottom cabinets in the kitchen. With her lack of patience and growing curiosity, she’d recently begun to test whether or not she’d be able to use the drawers to climb her way up the counter and get whatever it is she wanted instead of waiting for either Eddie or you to get it for her. She was testing Eddie, too.

He hated having to scold her, she was such a reactive baby, she’d usually immediately get upset on her own once she’d realized she’d done something wrong, eyes always welling up with guilty tears. Lately, she’d taken to breaking the rules more often and while he could still tell she felt guilty, it was clear she’d continue until she'd get hurt.

Or worse.

You weren’t exactly in the state to discipline—usually, you were quite on top of making sure she couldn’t be a brat, time outs so Penny would be able to cool off without her feeling like you were smothering her and cuddles to talk out the reason why she did what she did and why she can’t do it again—but since you were in the nesting phase of your pregnancy, all Penny would get is a ‘Penny, we don’t do that’, which did absolutely nothing since Penny clearly liked to ‘do that’.

As soon as she began to sniffle intensely, fat tears already rolling down her round cheeks while she stared up at her dad with her hands clutched together, Eddie softened and sighed, crouching down to be closer to eye level with her so he could cup the side of her face in his hand, thumb stroking over the soft skin to wipe the wet trails away.

“Hey, hey. Don’t be sad, little bitty pretty one. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Yet. He’d caught her just before she could. “Daddy just doesn’t want you to get hurt. The counter isn’t safe for you to climb on and what do we say about climbing on things that aren’t safe?”

“I-I-I coo’ fall.” She stuttered out, sniffles continuing, less intense due to Eddie’s coddling.

“Mhm,” Eddie didn’t even like to think about her injuring herself.

He was all soft smiles and even softer brown eyes as he stared into her own, absolutely positive the love he had for the tiny little girl, who looked like the perfect combination of you and him, was unconditional and the source behind his strength. From the moment he first held her, Eddie knew he would do anything and everything to protect her, “I love you so much, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, sweet pea. Can I have a hug?”

Penny nodded frantically, reaching a closed fist up to rub at her other eye before she let out another whine and held her arms out wide, wrapping them around his shoulders as she buried her face in one of them.

“Luh you,” she cried, fisting the material of his hoodie. Eddie stood up after he’d gathered her in his arms, rubbing soothing circles on her back as he kissed her curly little head.

“It’s okay, sweet pea. I love you, too. Always.”

It took a few minutes but once Penny had calmed down, she sniffled and rubbed her snotty little nose off against his hoodie.

“What did you want, anyways?” His eyes scanned the small counter space for whatever it was that could have caught her attention.

“I want the ‘nana.” She pointed lazily in the direction of the bananas, displayed in a bowl. Taunting her.

Eddie used his free arm to rip one from the bunch, biting into the stem at the top of it to keep it still while he unpeeled it for her.

Her lack of patience was once more apparent when she couldn’t wait for him to unpeel the entire thing, reaching out and squishing the part of the fruit that was exposed, ripping it messily away from the rest of it so she could cram it into her mouth.

Eddie chuckled as he carried her out into the living room, plopping down onto the couch with her. Penny quickly devoured the fruit, fingers no doubt messy and sticky until she’d used his legs to climb down from the couch, wiping her stubby little hands on the material of his sweats as she went.

“Am I nothing but a human napkin to you?” He asked with a chuckle, Penny ignored him in favor of digging through her toy box.

“I’d say human furnace, too.” You answered as you returned from the bathroom, fully aware he hadn’t been speaking to you, you just couldn’t resist teasing him.

“Explains why you assault me with those icicles you call feet at night.” He offered you the other half of the banana Penny hadn’t eaten and you took it, only sparing the fucked up top of it a glance before shrugging and taking a bite.

“I can’t help my poor blood circulation, Edward. I can’t prove it right now, but I’m pretty sure it’s your fault.”

He laughed as you settled into the farthest cushion, tapping his thighs as a sign for you to settle your legs over them. You loved him so much.

“My fault? Do explain, babe, I gotta hear it.”

“Probably a side effect of this,” you placed a hand over your swollen belly. No current movement inside, your baby was probably sleeping in there, “Just like my high blood pressure.”

You were still bitter about that one, you’d had quite a few red flags with this pregnancy, had more doctor’s appointments scheduled than when you’d been pregnant with Penny.

“You had ice cubes for toes long before I put a baby in you.” He smirked, a hand reaching out to cover yours.

“You know what?”

He raised an eyebrow to challenge you, much like he did with Penny, what?

“You,” you pointed a finger in his direction, grinning, “be quiet.”

Eddie threw his head back and laughed, it was your version of telling each other to shut the fuck up in the presence of your child. He was still chuckling as he scanned the room for his little girl, immediately tensing when he didn’t spot her.

“Penny?” He called out in alarm, triggering your own concern as you stood up in search of your daughter.

You heard the sound of a gasp followed by something breaking and your daughter’s loud cries. You both bolted over, greeted by the sight of your toddler lying on the ground next to the bananas and surrounded by shards of the ceramic bowl which had housed them.

You were pretty sure your heart stopped and Eddie went pale.

As Penny shrieked, face red, Eddie carefully lifted her from the ground and you immediately noticed the odd angle of her little hand as you assessed her for injuries.

“Eddie,” you inhaled a sharp breath and he clocked the same thing you did, “I’ll get the keys.”

You ran to the bedroom to retrieve a blanket for Penny and met Eddie at the door.

The car ride to the hospital was horrible. You held Penny in the backseat as she cried and cried, feeling absolutely useless and like a terrible mother for being unable to heal her on your own.

Penny had been seen right away, thanks to her young age and injury. Eddie had been a nervous wreck, pacing the waiting area for a good fifteen minutes before he stopped, stood still and then went to wrap his arms around you when he noticed how upset you were, beating yourself up for not having a closer eye on her.

“I’ve told her to not climb the counter, she knows it’s a rule!”

Eddie kissed your forehead, arms secure around you as you tried to bury yourself in his chest to hide from your failure. “I caught her doing it a couple of minutes before she fell, she’s a baby with a lack of impulse control, honey. That’s all. Better believe I won’t be letting her out of my sight after this.”

You’d wiped each other’s tears away and held each other until the doctor came back to take you to the room Penny was in, confirming what you had thought. She’d broken her wrist, most likely having tried to stop her fall with her hands. The doctor said it was the most common type of broken bone injury amongst toddlers she’d seen.

Much to your relief, Penny wasn’t hooked up to anything. She had a little hospital nightgown over her top half but her little overall bottoms were still visible and there was a little pink cast decorating the arm she’d injured. Penny looked miserable until the moment she saw you.

“MAMA!” She shrieked, and you were at her side in an instant, fingers stroking over her curls while Eddie spoke to the doctor.

“Are you okay, baby?” Of course she wasn’t okay, your baby was sporting a cast!

“I hurt my han’, mommy.” She sounded so sad when she said it, you just wanted to scoop her up and hold her forever.

“It’ll get better, I promise.” You swore, happy she still seemed to be preening under your attention. “Baby, why were you on the counter?”

She looked guilty and even more sad, you made sure to plant a couple of kisses on her face to keep her from crying again.

“For anotha ‘nana.”

“Why didn’t you ask me or daddy to get it for you?”

“‘’Cuz—uhm, cuz-cuz-cuz you gotta finish.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “Finish what?”

“Making your nes’ for my baby brudder.”

You were full on squinting, mom brain trying to decipher what the heck she was talking about and eventually it clicked.

Nesting.

Penny must have heard you talking about it, which didn’t surprise you since you weren’t as careful as you should be with what you said around her. It was still hard for you to come to terms with Penny having a bit more of a conscience now. While you knew she heard what you’d say (and repeat it like a parrot if it was a curse word) she didn’t understand what she was saying. Or, she hadn’t. Now, she was beginning to think about things and apparently worry.

She’d heard you, all in a tizzy about preparing the trailer for your new addition and she’d gotten worried about distracting you.

“Baby, you’re more important than my nest.” You assured her, though the worry still on her face didn’t go anywhere.

“But brudder─”

“But Penny,” you interrupted with a goofy voice, gently pinching and wiggling her nose to get her to break her serious demeanor. It worked, she giggled, little nose crinkling up, “Penny is just as important as brother. He’s not even here yet and you are still in my nest.”

You reached out to take her smaller hand in yours, thumb stroking over her tiny fingers. She was so little and breakable, it scared you to think about.

“You could have gotten really, really hurt climbing on the counter, baby. Then, mommy would have an empty nest and that would make me and daddy very sad, Penny.” You were positive neither of you would recover.

“Yeah.” Penny agreed, solemnly.

“So, whenever you need something, you have to come to me and daddy, okay?”

“Okay, mommy!” She nodded her head dramatically, “Luh you, mommy. Can I has a hug?”

“I love you, too, and you never have to ask,” She sat up on the bed, very mindful of her pink cast and wrapped her little uninjured arm around your shoulders as you pulled her to your chest. You let out an amused snort when your hand went to cradle the back of her head and found the curls there smashed flat from laying down.

“Oh, baby, that is some bad bedhead.”

“Yeah,” she said again, solemnly, but this time the seriousness of her voice and the topic made you laugh.

Eddie laughed, too, and the sound almost surprised you. You were so focused on your injured baby, you had forgotten he was watching you.

When you turned to look at him, he took that as his cue for his turn. Only, he’d already lectured her about the counters and figured she’d learned her lesson. He’d also, obviously, heard you talk to her about it so he went straight to drowning her with affection, pulling her right into his arms.

“My poor baby!” He cooed, pressing a kiss to her temple and nuzzling his face into her short curls.

“Yeah,” Penny agreed with a sigh that had you and Eddie exchanging glances as you bit your lips to keep from smiling.

Oh, she was gonna milk this broken wrist for all it was worth and you were both more than happy to indulge her and nurse her back to health.

[blossoms-phan]

would you rather have a dan sized pea or a pea sized dan 🤨

fantastic question. gonna go with pea sized dan bc he would be so itty bitty and i would put him in my pocket lest i squish him or on top of my pasta maybe. dan sized pea is my nightmare i do Not like peas enough to have 6+ feet of one

[hashileio]

babe wake up new Pringle lore just dropped (below the cut)

also ty @g0nefischin for asking about them ;o; it legit makes me so happy to see people take interest in my silly little guys

Pringle and Pea were both initially found as little escapees outside. They’ve essentially broken out of a local adoption center and ran away together, much more interested in exploring the great big world for weeks at a time before going back. The center employees can usually tell there’s about to be a breakout attempt if they start noticing supplies slowly disappearing as the two start stockpiling for their adventures. After far too many escapes (and subsequent returns), they just sort of gave up trying to stop the two and instead started helping them pack, knowing it’d be better if the bitties were fully prepared for their journey ahead.

Pringle and Pea are somewhat skittish to begin with, not very used to being held, but they both quickly find that human touch isn’t as terrible as they had initially thought, especially when they can feel the affection and love deep in your intent. They will absolutely melt at the mention of group cuddles after a long day, but are perfectly content napping with each other. 

The two are very close and practically attached at the hip, never really seeing one without the other too far off. Pringle and Pea are much more tame alone, but when they’re together, they feed off each other’s mischief and become complete menaces. 

Their bond can be best described as being thick as thieves.

Pringle

Named Pringle after being found stuck in an empty Pringles can

When asked why he didn’t just shortcut out, Pringle would shrug and just say it was a nice napping spot and just fell asleep without meaning to

Very bitey 

Mostly as a means to explore his environment, and eventually out of affection

Definitely a good idea to keep gloves on hand. He might get a little too excited and start biting

Side effect is he’s unfortunately a bit destructive, and fully aware of it. If you ask nicely, he’ll try to avoid chewing up your nicer things but no promises.

The adventurous one 

Favorite past time, after biting, is urban exploration. And by that he means he enjoys dumpster diving and finding cool little trinkets (mostly bottlecaps) 

The muscle of the operation (enforcer)

If there’s an idea, Pringle will make sure it happens by any means necessary

Pea

Named Pea after the Pea Incident™

Little man fell fell into a bowl of thawing peas and had the best time of his life. A swimming pool you can eat from??? Absolutely magical. 10/10 would jump in again

Complete chatterbox

Will talk your ear off if given the opportunity. The never-ending info dump is a sign of affection. He doesn’t monologue to JUST anyone y’know

Has a not-so-secret love for reading out loud. You can catch him reading bed time stories to Pringle sometimes (Pringle would never admit it and would take this to the grave)

The responsible one

While Pea is completely willing to persuade Pringle into shenanigans, he always makes sure they’re home before dinner

The brains of the operation (instigator)

Pea is the mastermind and comes up with every plan, though Pringle does occasionally offer input as well

[oddballism]

*That Comic* Brainrot Ramble Part 1: Babies!!! ♥️💙💚

Look at these little rolly pollies! They're so little and tiny! Look at their little baby hair curls! Their pacis! Their little color-coded onesies! I wanna scoop them up and smooch their little heads! Louie's looking right at you!

Look at them in their baby carriage! Like three peas in a pod!

They're so wittle they can't even sit up right!

Look at their itty bitty teeny tiny feetsies! Tootsies!

Look at Louie's little judgmental stare! He must think he's so intimidating! Aw, ok, lil guy.

And proud Mama Della!

The babs are inside now. Mama puts them on the floor and they crawl around on the soft rug. They're exploring the big world! Oh my goodness, their little hands! Their stubby little fingies!

AWWW!!! Baby Dewey gets a kiss from his mama! He's so happy, his little face and his simile! And Della's matching smile as she holds him! She loves her babies!

And Unca Donny is amazed that he has nephews!

Uh oh! Looks like the kitchen has been completely destroyed. But who could be the culprit? These tots? Of course not- look at lil Dewey holding a piece of that shattered vase. Louie about to accidentally bake himself in the oven. Huey knocking a lamp over. Perfectly innocent!

[0junemeatcleaver0]

june you gifted us with meta on marius's virginity, can you also expound on ancient roman perceptions of penis size and what effects what he's packing would have on his Issues™ and perceptions of self?

I am SO glad you asked.

Between having my ass whooped by allergies and dealing with other household irl stuff, I can't dedicate the time to source gathering that I would typically like. And so my citations for this one are gonna have to look something like:

[1] trust me, bro [2] google will show you many fluff pieces like this so that you know this idea has been floating around in the ether for quite some time [3] i've seen even the people who hate my guts for being pretentious and too academic site this same idea so either we're both wrong or both right and they're just gonna have to try to live with that fact 🤷‍

Like most other things to do with sex and the human body, the Romans had some odd ideas about penis size. Specifically the idea that the size of one's member was a reflection of one's intellect and civility.

If a man was blessed with a small penis, he was thought to be intelligent and in control of himself and his desires. If, on the other hand, he was cursed with a large penis, he was thought to be slow-witted and barbaric.

In terms of Marius and his virginity and his sense of self re: his place in society, we have three options, really:

One: He has an average sized dick for the time and so he'd feel much the same as most men of his time. Two: He had a small dick and was quite proud of it. Three: He had a large dick and was ashamed of it.

Option One This option is beyond boring and we will now disregard it wholesale. This option is dead to me.

Option Two I think it would be a bittersweet tragedy for Marius if he had a small dick and it just did not matter. Just like his mother dying in childbirth before she could be freed (thus freeing him, too), or being born to a wealthy father while not being able to rise through the social ranks of Rome, or knowing, doing, and saying all the right things but never getting the same respect as a Full Roman Man™️...there is something so perfect about Marius having a tiny, perfect penis that no one will let him use on them because he's just such an off-putting weirdo.

Just imagine him strutting proudly through the bathhouse, head held high, ready and waiting for congratulations on his itty-bitty pretty cock and it just never comes because no one wants to bother with the guy who constantly corrects the historical record at dinner parties or spends most of his time at the function scribbling down what you and your buddies are doing and saying instead of getting drunk and joining in on the fun.

Who cares that it's the most glorious micropenis you've ever seen?? Complimenting it means you'd have to speak to it's owner and you'd rather eat ever terracotta chamber pot for sale in the market.

Option Three This is my favorite one. Because by modern values, it reads as an embarrassment of riches. The idea of the most 'rational' and 'controlled' of Anne's characters being seen in his own time as being a pea-brained moron incapable of subduing his carnal desires because he's forced to slang horse cock through the bathhouse is just fucking perfect to me.

Marius' family would have been wealthy enough to have their own bath at home, but going to the bathhouse was an important social event. This probably became a dilemma for a young Marius.

As outlined in my character study, I believe the text supports the idea that Marius was the youngest of the sons. It doesn't take much for me to be able to imagine his older brothers giving him shit for having such a large penis. I also imagine Marius at first being very wounded by this teasing. Then furious. Then being smart enough to know he can't afford to have an outburst and risk proving the rumors of those with his affliction correct. And then rationalizing it as his brothers are liars--they're giving him a hard time. They probably were blessed with tiny penises because they're all full blooded Roman men. And Marius, well. His penis is probably more on the average side. It would have been tiny like his brothers' if it weren't for the blood of his wild Keltoi mother, you see. And that's not ideal, obviously. He'd rather have a tiny cock--the tiniest!--but average isn't as bad as the alternative.

And then the potential mortification of going the the public bathhouse for the first time and realizing that his brothers were not exaggerating. And the men all having a good laugh about it because he's still young and growing. "My son Sextus had the feet of a Gígas when he was your age. Now, they look like the feet of any man. You shall grow into it." "Certainly. With my son, it was his hands." "And mine, his nose."

And so it went. Each year deeper into puberty, his body growing longer and leaner. Marius growing taller than the boys and indeed most of the men around him. And the whole time, his dick growing right along with the rest of him. Slowly, as the years go on, the reassurances dry up. No more talk of feet and hands and noses. No more laughter and friendly slaps on the shoulder. Just averted eyes and hushed whispers as soon as his back is turned.

Yet another reason he feels such a desperate need to constantly prove himself.

[justlookfrightened]

Invisibility

A teeny Zimbits ficlet

“Hmm. Jack, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?”

Bitty looked up from his phone to ask the question of Jack, who was making an omelet for breakfast. It was one of Jack’s favorite things, to cook for Bitty, especially when there was a morning when they could both sleep (or not-sleep) in, and then cook and sit and eat and drink coffee and clean up together before even considering starting their day.

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “Mind reading, maybe? So people wouldn’t be so confusing all the time.”

Bitty considered the mess of motivations that had made him do anything from adding ginger to a peach pie to kissing Jack on the ice after he won the Stanley Cup.

“I’m not sure knowing what people are thinking would make things less confusing, sweet pea,” Bitty said. 

“What about you?” Jack asked. “What superpower would you have?”

“Invisibility,” Bitty replied immediately.

“You didn’t even think about that,” Jack said. “Anyway, why would you want to be invisible?”

“Why not?” Bitty said. “If you’re invisible, no one can hurt you.”

“Huh.” Jack gave a dissatisfied sort of grunt, and turned back to the eggs.

Bitty didn’t know why Jack was bothered. He’d always thought invisibility would be the best superpower for him, ever since he first considered the question.

He’d been in high school, clinging to the end of the bench at the lunch table where all the misfits sat. Well, the misfits-but-not-outcasts. It had a couple of band geeks, the one cheerleader who never sat with the rest, the kid who was always the stage manager and never on stage for the drama productions. The only student in Bitty’s class who played on the rec league hockey team had invited Bitty to join them, and Bitty was doing his best to not be relegated (again) to outcast status.

One of the girls — Bitty thought it was the cheerleader, but his memory might be faulty — had read the question out of a quiz in a magazine, and most people had answered things like flying or having super strength or x-ray vision. 

Then someone said they’d like to be invisible, in order to do whatever they wanted and never get caught, and Bitty had thought the idea of not being seen sounded like a kind of heaven. Not  that he wanted to avoid the blame for any misdeeds; he just didn’t want to be seen. If the football players couldn’t see him, they couldn’t push him into lockers or trip him near the top of the stairs. His Algebra II teacher couldn’t call him to the front of the room to solve impossible problems. If Coach couldn’t see him, he couldn’t “playfully” cuff him on the back of the head and ask when he’d find a girlfriend.

He’d miss his mama’s hugs, he thought. But maybe the power would allow him to be visible when he wanted to be, or maybe mama would just understand, and hug him when he told her he was there.

Ever since then, “invisibility” had been his stock answer to the superpower question. Even though there were no longer any football players dogging his steps, the idea of going through life unobserved, and thus uncriticized, had a more than passing appeal.

Apparently, his answer sparked more than passing thoughts in Jack, who brought it up as soon as breakfast was ready.

“I’d really miss being able to see you, bud,” Jack said.

“Yeah?” Bitty asked, purposely looking up at Jack through his eyelashes. “See something you like?”

“Always,” Jack said, “But I didn’t mean like that. I meant, I don’t like the idea of a world where you just disappeared. And I don’t understand how you can say you would want that, either. You’re always out there, whether it’s online or on the ice. You figure skated. You did a sport where, literally, everyone was looking at you because you were the only one to look at.”

“And I stopped doing that sport, because when people noticed, they decided I’d make a good tackling dummy,” Bitty said. “Figure skating was different. When I was on the ice, I was alone, and no one could get to me. No one could touch me. And when I make videos online, it’s kind of the same. No one can hurt me. Even if someone is rude in the comments, I can block them and move on. Aren’t there times you would have liked to be invisible, with the way people have invaded your privacy?”

“Sure, sometimes,” Jack answered. “But not for long. And I remember that the problem is their behavior, not my existence.”

“I never said I didn’t want to exist,” Bitty said. “I just want people to leave me alone.”

“Even me?” Jack’s voice was small. 

“Never you,” Bitty said. “Well … there were some times my freshman year. But not now. I want people to live my life and keep their nastiness to themselves. And my life includes you.”

“That’s good,” Jack said. “And for the record, I think it’s good that people can see you. I think they need to see you, because you are strong and determined and good. Sorry if that sounds corny. I don’t mean it to be. I really believe that you are good, and people need to see that.”

Bitty was nearly tearing up.

“Oh, come on,” Bitty said. “Don’t be so nice to me! You’re gonna make me cry. I do appreciate that’s how you feel. And maybe … maybe it is different now. Now that we’re together, and I don’t feel alone.”

“So, if not invisibility, then what?”

“Have you ever thought about what it would feel like to fly?” 

[omppupiiras]

I tried drawing corn and peas Käärijä but it´s really hard to stylise for me -

so I drew his birth :D

Look at his little pea sprouts and his blonde bowl-cut!

OH NO it's my baby boy as a itty bitty baby 🥺🥺🥺 he's still so nakey!! but so cute! i LOVE the little pea sprouts and the blonde bowl cut, he looks so sweet 😭 quick somebody pick him up and keep him safe before he gets eaten!! 🌽🌽🌽