#bites knuckles im freaking out

[yayll]

feeling disgusting kinda need to write lovesick creep dazai w reader who doesn't like him baaaaaack >:3

[rottengurlz]

try to be gentle when you are ripping me apart 🔪

w/ @kashisun

[d1s1ntegrated]

I just read your shigaraki fic with him stealing readers clothes and

First: loved it he’s such a little freak and I love him

Second: part 2? Maybe where reader goes into his rooms well he’s doing his thing with our clothes and gets caught red handed and just pretty much braces down and reader doms him or something I don’t know I just think a part 2 where reader walks in on him doing it would be fun

I’m sorry if this is against any rules you have you can ignore if you want

Im just an idiot 🙃 ok goodbye

shhhhh ur not an idiot and this is hot af so YASS

laundry pile (nsfw)

tomura x fem!reader

tags: stealing clothes, masturbation, stalker behavior, heavy petting, dacryphilia, p/v pen, swearing, degradation, dom/sub dynamic implied, fem reader, hardcore smut, light comfort, sub/switch! tomura, humiliation, oral (m&f rec)

A/N: i'm getting caught up on my asks finally 🫶 so sorry for the weird inactivity i love u all! also this isn't proofread sorry ill prob edit it later lol!

"For fucks sake" you threw your door open in frustration, storming down the hall to Shigaraki's room. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the worst. You didn't really want to ask him of all people, but you were desperate and flustered now.

You knock gently, and before hearing him respond, you turn the handle.

"Hey, Shigaraki, have you seen my-" You open the door of Tomura's room prematurely, the light knocking not alerting him fast enough as he scrambles to yank his covers over him.

"SHIT, fucking, GET THE FUCK OUT," the man's voice heightens in pitch with every word, straining to speak. He's gripping his blanket with four white knuckles, ring finger held above the blue fabric. His hands shake and beads of sweat are flattening his fringe to his forehead, and his breathing even from the doorway looks erratic. It's no mistake, you walked in at the wrong time. Your jaw hangs open slightly at the image of him and begin backing up slightly.

"I'm sorry, I'll...well, while I'm here," you start with a sheepish smile, "have you seen my black sweater? The one with the..." Your fingers twiddle around as you describe the well-loved garment, and he groans.

"...No," he wipes his hair from his face, "Go ask the girls."

"Sorry. Yeah, I'll do that." You reach for the door handle with a curt nod, and turn to head out, when something catches your eye. On the floor, next to a pile of used towels and dirty laundry, you notice the familiar lace trim, a delicate pink bow...

You reach for the piece as Tomura shoots up on his bed, still covering himself. "What are you doing??" His voice is anxious, and as you come back up, you hang the fabric delicately between your fingers in front of him.

"Are these my fucking underwear?" With a fire hot enough to burn his room to the ground, you storm closer to him, standing over him now with fierce eyes, able to really take in the sight of him now. His eyes are heavier than usual, his back flexed and his arms tense against his chest as he plasters the sheet against his snowy skin. He looks up at you with a feverish glint, avoiding contact with the skimpy bottoms hanging in front of his face. He shakes his head, unable to speak.

The sheet leaves little to the imagination, as you look him up and down in his bed. You bite back your rage as you notice a strap peeking out from under one of his pillows, and you shove him back and lean over to yank it out from underneath. Your pink bralette, that you could've sworn you lost for good, was now in your hands, waving dangerously close to Tomura. With wide eyes, he gives the equivalent look to a dog who got caught with a slipper. Cowering was a new look for him. As you stare him down, you notice the sheet twitching, an unmistakable silent pleading. Your face, now mere inches above his, sends his heart sprinting out of his body.

If it weren't for your discovery, it would've been almost...charming, to see him like this. Lips pink and puffy, as if they'd been bitten raw, and the remarkable sheen of sweat and lust glazing his scarred face. A heavy breath, halfway to climax and halfway to anxiety attack. You couldn't tell if he was turned on or terrified at this point. Your mind preferred the latter, but somewhere deep inside, you liked the idea of the former.

There was also something already charming about his actions. Your clothes were scattered all around him, around his room. Part of you felt enthralled by the idea of your fearsome leader, your boss, the dangerous villain doing something as depraved and perverted as stealing your clothes. Especially after all of the shit you guys fought about, how many times he told you to fuck off and that he couldn't stand you. It was like an unwritten confession, and it made your heart flutter for a moment. You stood there, thinking about what he was doing to them exactly, with a frivolous process. It didn't take much for your mind to conclude the thought, knowing you just caught him doing precisely what you could have imagined with them. It felt almost elementary to catch him in the act of something so vulgar, and despite your scornful expression, you had to fight the instinctual curling of your lips.

"What else do you have of mine?" You kept your face flat, curiosity driving you further. He shrank down a moment before raising a shaky arm towards his door.

"Close that, please" his brows furrowed as you both looked toward the wide-open door, giving whoever walked by a full view of the situation. You padded towards it and slammed it closed, locking it behind you before re-approaching him with the same fervor as before. You toss the two garments at him and ask him again.

"What else did you steal from me?"

He swallowed and took a deep breath before raising his hand up in defeat, "I'm sorry". His eyes glossed over as he looked away, blinking rapidly. He lifted the pillow behind him and began removing things from the pile of things. Multiple pairs of underwear, two bras, three shirts, a pair of lounge shorts, and a few random socks. Your jaw dropped as he handed them to you, sniffling with embarrassment and disturbance. You shook your head slowly, partially in awe and disbelief. How did he even manage...and why? How long had he been doing it for? Your mind raced as you compiled everything at the edge of his bed. He sat there dejected as you counted everything.

"Fourteen. FOURTEEN things of mine. Just under your pillow. What, why?? Where else do you hide it all? Is this where all my clothes have gone?" Your voice rises in frustration and confusion as he falters.

He shakes his head and quavers, with the smallest voice you've ever heard from him.

"I don't know. I'm sorry". He shows remorse, no doubt. But the movement underneath the thin sheet doesn't help to convince you of his guilt. Some part of him likes the fact he was caught, surely. It's easy to see it, with the faint flush of his complexion.

You lean down more and lift his face with a finger on his chin, directing his eyes to meet yours. You don't say anything, which scares him more than anything. At any point, you could run out of his room, screaming about how he was a freak, or a coward, or a stalker. Even him, your notorious leader, was scared of being exposed so viscerally. You recognize this, his crimson eyes welling with shameful tears as you look into them.

You wanted to be so angry. You wanted to be disgusted, freaked out, and you wanted to hate him. You could let him being murderous slide, but being a loser? It boiled your blood. But you couldn't tear yourself away from his wet gaze, the tears falling heavily now as you gripped his chin between thumb and forefinger. He didn't pull away, either, he just accepted his loss. There were so many reasons why you should hate him.

But you don't, you realize, as you lean in and pull him into a hungry kiss. His lips are rough, but wet with tears as you press yours into them. Maybe it was pity, maybe it's because you know he's pent up and stressed out and most certainly a virgin. It's possible he just needs comfort. Perhaps you're encouraging him, and for all you know, maybe you like that.

You stop yourself from thinking and just let your body move. You push him back, taking his hands away from the iron grip on the sheets and lifting them above his head. He doesn't argue, and complacently loosens his body with a light whimper as you touch him. You climb onto his lap, still pinning his arms down as you snake your tongue into his mouth. He tastes so sweet, so addicting. It was unlike anything you could describe, like apple and spices and sweet mint. You cave in to him, allowing yourself to feel the rush of endorphins swell in your core. Your mind goes blank as you feel his length between your legs, twitching and jumping like an eager animal.

You finally pull away from the kiss, only to bite down his scarred neck and shoulder.

"You're a fucking thief" you say between bites, and he whimpers.

"I know" he shakes as you sink your teeth in. He groans out as you bite down harder at his response.

"You're a fucking freak" you spit. He nods, trembling.

"I'm sorry" he cries out as you sink your canines into him.

"You like that, hm? You like being a sick fuck?" you tighten your grip on his wrists.

His whimpers and moans drive you crazy. You fight the urge to take him all at once, even if it tortures you as well. Your lips curl sadistically as you lick his wounds, tongue grazing over not only the bites, but the torn skin of his neck from his incessant scratching. The faint taste of blood stings in your mouth, the metallic fragrance soaking your senses. You feel your core liquify as tears spill from his eyes, the thick lashes sticking together. He sobs, clenching his jaw.

"Please, I can't take it". His heavy breaths buckle in his chest, and you bring your free hand up to caress his face.

"You're so pretty like this, Tomura" your voice is slick with hunger, a newfound lust from hearing his pathetic noises. He blinks up at you in a daze, his pupils blown wide as you release your grip on his wrists.

"Please" he whispers, and you laugh.

"Please what? You seriously think you're getting rewarded? For being a fucking pervert?"

Tomura bites his lip and shakes his head.

"No, I'm sorry".

It was a sight to behold. Your fearsome leader, now crumbling beneath you, begging to be touched. Pleading for forgiveness, admitting fault with fat tears soaking his cheeks. Everything you swore he would never be capable of, he was doing. And it made you feel so powerful. It was well overdue- someone eventually would've put him in his place- you just never thought it'd be you to do it.

You retreat from his lap, standing swiftly. You watch his face fall a bit, then relight as you slide your top and bottoms off, leaving you standing nearly naked in front of him. His eyes soak in the image of you, his hands clenching. You reach for the sheet and yank it off of him, finally, to expose his naked body completely.

His cock stands proud, already leaking and throbbing as you grab it. He gasps, the air hitching in his chest as your thumb slides down the tip, admiring his length as you squeeze it gently.

"You're such a desperate little bitch," you start demeaning him further, fingers trailing to wrap around his balls. He mewls as you continue, "I always knew you were a pathetic loser".

His cock convulses as you speak, and you lose you patience. You take him in your mouth, pressing your tongue flatly against the thickness. You graze your teeth against the sensitive skin, and he hisses out a string of curses. You speed up, fingers still teasing him with lazy tugs. You reach underneath and press two fingers against the untouched skin, massaging it gently. The action causes him to clench his fists mindlessly against the sheets, and they immediately disintegrate into nothingness. He grumbles out a "Fuck", but is swiftly redirected back to the multitude of sensations below. You laugh, his thick cock still in your mouth, and he throws his head back. He begins mindlessly thrusting into your throat, causing you to choke a bit on the size of him. He spreads his legs open further as you massage the neglected spot, clearly enjoying the newly discovered sensitivity.

Before he can finish, and god is he dangerously close to doing so, you pull off of him. He groans and silently begs for more, but you shake your head and get back on top of him.

"You think I'm doing this for your enjoyment? You owe me, not the other way around." you spew out. "It's my turn, loser."

He doesn't have time to argue it as you slide your underwear off and bring yourself to his face. You speak, knowing his can't respond, enjoying his compliance. "Have you ever done this before? No? Hm..." You chuckle out sinfully as his mouth falls wide, dragging his tongue up your dripping cunt to your clit. "Do a good job, and maybe then I'll let you have more."

He's clearly inexperienced, the way his tongue explores your folds and curves, but he's starving regardless. He presses his tongue deeply into you, moaning at the taste as you grind against his mouth. He gains confidence as he grips your hips with a four-fingered grip, keeping his pinkies as far as anatomically possible from your soft skin. He kneads his slender fingers into the fat of your hips and ass, his nails digging in as his tongue picks up speed. After a minute or two adjusting, he's eating you like a dog, licking and sucking and nipping at everything he can, with a determination previously unseen. It feels unforgettable, the way his teeth graze your clit and his tongue licks at you like you're candy. The poor depraved man laying under you, finally graced with the taste of you he's only ever had in dreams. You tasted much better than the underwear he stole. It felt holy now, so dirty and urgent that it felt like prayer.

You can't avoid the hastily approaching orgasm as he flicks his tongue on the throbbing bundle of nerves. You grind down on his face, coating his mouth and chin with your heat as he sends you over the edge. You drive your hips down, nearly suffocating him, as you clench and shiver on his face. You can feel him panting and smiling and swallowing every drop of your climax thankfully, which sends you even further.

When you finally come crashing down, you pull off of him and slide back down his chest and position him right in front of your needy hole. But you can't give into him just yet. It's his punishment, not reward, to fuck you and please you and make you cum.

He looks positively elated, his pupils still swallowing his ruby irises and his hair tangled around his pretty face. He's smiling, with a tired breath, but he's nowhere near done. He's completely aware of his consequences.

"Good boy, Tomu" you praise him with a gentle kiss on the cheek, his face still soaked from you. He smiles a bit more, but is still silent as you continue, "I almost forgive you for being such a disgusting slut".

He nods and silently mouths out an "okay". You trail a finger up his jaw and press a kiss to it. But his response isn't enough for you. You want more, you want to press the subject deeper before allowing him to have something so sacred.

"Tell me, pretty freak; why did you steal my clothes?"

He takes a moment to bite his lip, looking away as he responds. "I like to".

Not good enough. "And?" you pry.

"It...feels good. To smell you. And taste you. It feels so good..." he bleats out pitifully, and you can't help but feel a little bit enamored at his answer.

"Yeah? Was it worth it?" You tilt your head slightly, loving his plaintive admissions.

He nods and smiles, "Definitely".

Tomura's slight defiance stirs something inside of you. At the end of the day, he always gets what he wants. And if he wanted to steal your clothes, soil them with a weeks worth of cum, he fucking would. He did. He wasn't an entirely too demanding person, but he was, at his core, determined to have everything he wants. Including you, in every way he can.

You can't wait any longer as you take his length inside of you. You gasp out a bit at the size, feeling it stretch your walls with a burning sensation. He immediately moans out, unable to even slightly quiet down as he feels how wet you are around him.

"You're so fucking tight," he cries, and you clench around him, causing him to spasm a bit. His eyes roll back and he begins thrusting into you from below, the friction driving you crazy. "You feel just like I imagined" he confesses, words heavy with desire.

You grind into him as he thrusts, both rutting against each other fervidly. The tuft of baby blue hair drags a bit against your clit and you can't help as his name spills from your lips like honey.

"Fuck, Tomura, you're so big" you lewdly cry out as he grips you again. His cock slams against your cervix, sliding in and out of your entrance rapidly. His moans and whimpers become intangible, a never-ending slew of crude noises just leaking from his pretty pink lips. You nearly forget being angry, you throw your inhibitions to the side, because it feels far too good to not focus on entirely. The way he whines and keens melts you like the sun.

You both get closer with each frantic thrust. Months of pining and pretending to hate each other paid off well enough, because the feeling of his cock inside of you, plowing you filthily, locked in the satisfaction of meeting him in the first place.

"And I thought you hated my guts" you moan out as he slams into you, folding a bit. He wraps his arms around you and you tuck your head into his neck as he takes complete control from beneath.

"No, I just, fuck, couldn't stand not having this" he breathes out, his hold on you intensifying. "I want you".

His speed shakes your mind, leaving you fuzzy as you reach your final breaking point. He's close behind, his thrusts becoming less coordinated as he moans out your name like a broken record.

"Tomura, I-"

He cuts you off with a whine, "Please, let me cum inside of you". You completely shatter around him, the heat inside of you finally snapping in half as you grind into him mindlessly, the sensation of your orgasm tearing through you like a full moon's tide. You cry and gasp out into his ear, and he decides he can't wait anymore. He spills into you with a howl, twitching and sputtering as he finally fills you up. The pearly strings coat your sore insides, gumming you up. He sinks his teeth down into your neck as he ruts into you, pumping his seed deeper inside as he rides out his orgasm. You feel the suffocating wave of euphoria wash over you, unable to form a coherent thought as he pulls out slowly.

He lolls his head back and keeps you wrapped in his arms, unwilling to release you.

"I'm sorry" he finally speaks. The silence in the room dissipates with his raspy voice, and you nod.

"Do you at least wash them when you're done?" You ask, and he nods back.

"I return them when you aren't there.." he admits.

"Okay" you don't have the energy or even the space inside of you to actually be mad. If anything, you were more upset before cause for the most part, you were missing a lot of your favorite pairs of underwear, and you thought you were losing your mind.

"I promise I'll stop" he whispers into your hair, "I'm sorry".

You shake your head against his chest. "Don't. It gives me an excuse to come back in here and do this again".

His heartbeat speeds a bit as he processes your words. A part of him wants to tell you you don't need an excuse. But the other part of him wants you to keep catching him. The chase, the raw desire, he'd been playing the long game, and you fell right for it. His silly little game he'd been playing worked out perfectly in his favor, and he relished in that fact.

He doesn't respond. You close your eyes on his chest, and he pulls up the other blanket that was unscathed from his torrential grip. He smiles to himself as you slowly fall asleep on him, your breathing slowing. Lying there with you, he finally felt content and full for once, and that scared him. But he laid there still, soaking in the feeling of completing his goal.

But he no longer wanted to play this game. He wanted to win it.

[astralnymphh]

Okay I have this little thought of fucking ellie in lotus position and I literally can’t get it out of my head

Sorry if this is weird I just feel like you could do it justice if you’re comfortable😭

omgg lotus position. that's like.. perfect for ellie cause she loves you straddling her and boobs.. and grabbing handfuls of ass meat. I'll do a little blurb on this but honestly might incorporate this position in a future fic. this feels a bit lazy but i swear im just saving my brain as i start saccharine saturations 2. MDNI ౨ৎ

lotus position with ellie ౨ৎ

let me paint the perspective on this blank canvas. the girl before you, ruby–eared as the budding roses of spring and swamping her sights in you, intoxication, a budding lust to be. the absolute hormone spurts you get whenever ellie drags you atop her lap is utterly intoxicating, utterly. you, sitting vis–à–vis. both of you undertaking the nude. her knees, bent to a perfect splay that opens a little seat just for you, a fleshy, cushiony, linen bedsheet crater. fair skin awash in tawny light, courtesy of the floor lamp abutting to the bed. a light that also reflects a shimmer string off the solid base of her strap, diagonally rested between those manspread legs. chartreuse green encapsulated in a bedroom–eye droopy–lid gaze surrounded by reeds of her deep amber esque lashes curving so softly from her puffy waterlines. an expression that says 'come sit on my lap pretty girl.' while she loiters one of those lusty hands to pose and dab her thigh gently– rippling the tight skin barely and croaking a smoky whisper, "c'mon baby, m' all ready for you now." as her lip corners tug a toothy smirk, folding the bottom lip under to bite. it coils back out, so pliantly, she lures you in tender.

ellie would fuck you so good in lotus. maddenly so, spires of her knobby digits grapple and hook on your ass, soothing softness leaven as milk bread. hairs on her arms, bitsy and tickle inducing, lie plumb from your thighs to your hips and are clasped in the soft layer of elasticity. she kneads your butt like malleable dough and spreads you wide on her pumping cock, lubricous laces lashing from your stuffed slit. the pressure exuded in her fingertips line your ass so perfectly to her roll of hip, she can fuck up into your cunt just right. in this angle, she deepens within you, and you take her unconditionally. plop, plop, palp, the slickening of cum glazes your underside thoroughly and crafts a wet slap whenever her dense hips rut into your cushy pussy lips. in your blurred numbness she finds a mania in seeing you all dog–panting and white–eyed, craning close and curling those sun–baked lips flush on your breast, "fuck that pussy back on me, mhmm, good girl.." brushing skin with her muffled coax. you bounce your bottom in sync with hers, creating a on beat rhythm, but in return her cock bottoms out deeper inside to the point of bulging a knob in your belly. on an ellie's perspective note, she fucking loves suckling upon your tender, risen nipples during sex, so this position basically emboldened her to put those eager lips to use. her gob caves an 'o' shape over your nipple and excitedly flicks her textured tongue over the nub, ever the more inflaming your pussy with euphoria. you card knuckles in her tuft of auburn hair, yanking a grip of locks to which ellie gives your nipple a teensy bite, getting you to yelp. ugh, can't you just visualize that view? a thin gap between your humping bodies, skin clumping and swelling, her perky boobs jiggling with the movements produced, peak of her russet pubes browsing over the harness base– slap! a red sting of fury nips you in the buttcheek, literally. ellie can't get enough of your rump, popping off your breast a moment and slanting her body aside to catch a glimpse of it, freak, indulging another slap. anyways, holding your hips captive to where she needs them, she pipes all the delectable cream she can out of you, grazing that bumpy vein shaft along your ribbed walls with a passion to spite 'unpassions', she coagulates a burning knot inside you, haste without chaste. girl will commit ungodly things to prove how helpless to climax you are on her thickset dick, popping her mouth off your tit to provoke in words of hypocrisy, "feels so good, huh? going dumb on my cock? yeahh? haha, god, can't even see your eyes, fuck." i claim hypocrisy, because we all know damn well with our combined minds that this girl gets dumb on your pussy, folding up her lips to contain the slobber threatening to make her look pussydrunk.

and she is most definetely pussydrunk, moreso in this position, climbing up to a high real fast. chromatically, her moan rises, "uhhhhhhh, yeahahhaaa.. ohh fuck."

how she looks cumming in this position? electrifying. her fawn freckled cheeks overcast in a flush of coral pink, gaping her lips wide and scrunching skin in all the right areas. the chafing pleasure tweaking her clit makes for a good fucking orgasm. her lids embracing the reflex of scantly shutting and gazing up at you, the green in her eyes somehow more vibrant and her pupils blown to a new moon. she just whines a grunty, "hahhh– mhhh, mhhh, yeessss." in a warble while twitching her last final blows against your beaten cervix, cockhead mashing that gummy donut. scarred as your shoulderblades take the toll ten clawing nails can bestow, her fingers whiten away the pigment with the strength issued into your flesh. her own pussy convulses and gathers up a bit of milky cum to streamline in strings along her perineum, dripping like dew onto the bed. you're ways from comparable, though, spraying your clear orgasm all over her. she'll praise you through her tale of moans, groaning, "uhhh yeah, get that cock all filthy– filthy, filthy, filthhh– fuuckkkk.." strands of her hair stick in an untidy manner beyond her hairline, shadowing that gloss of sweat narrowly. then, she dwindles down to a smile, a smile to bury. burying kisses in your sternum, she peppers up and up with a sudden awash of elation walking hand–in–hand with exhaustion. shaky nubs of her fingertips press and drag sweaty over the blushed marks given in her high, almost writing an apology to the poor scratches. looser skin of your back bulges and ribs between her waxy digits, cooling with a pasty ache. the weeping of pores after sex was no joke, no lie. and ellie intended to lick every puny dollop of it from your body. "l'mme clean you up.." she mumbles droney as a meadow bee barming your ears with a measly melody, voice muted in your neck. you reply, fumbly out of breath, "oh, a bath? i could really use a–" the chambré stamp of her tongue unfurls blunt to your neck, nudging up a spit trail along the skin. by clean you up, she just means lick you like a dog. i personally live for ellie doing that. you bumble, "ellie?" and she just garbles back, lips obviously occupied, "let me, mhh, clean you up.." and slipping a gritty chuckle in the depths of her throat, shrugging her shoulders a bit.

don't even get me started on ellie licking you up and down after sex.

[base0h]

Can I request Zoro, Luffy and Sanji reacting to their partner having an allergic reaction, like it’s so bad they can’t breathe. Perhaps it’s a new dish sanji had made and their partner didn’t know they were allergic to something in the dish until now. :D

a/n - this is supposed to be serious but if you know me I can’t be serious with one piece characters most of the time 😭 sorry anon but there’s crack in zoro’s and luffy’s💀🫶

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, reader has allergies, crack (zoro and Luffy’s part)

- lunch is Luffy’s favorite time of the day, nothing can stop him from eating lunch (it’s important to have 5 meals a day obviously 💀)

- there’s breakfast, breakfast 2, lunch, after-lunch meal, dinner, and then dessert (there’s like two deserts but he doesn’t think it counts as a meal)

- today, Sanji decided to use a sea king Luffy absolutely destroyed (it tried to steal his breakfast, rip sea king)

- it looked a bit sketchy, but Sanji can cook anything and make it taste good-

- but even as he was cooking it, the smell of it that filled the sunny made you a bit woozy, causing you to become quite fatigued

- luffy was too focused on how excited he was to eat it, so he didn’t notice your symptoms. He was literally drooling all over the poor sunny. it was gross asf

- bro couldn’t wait so he ate the ladle Sanji was smacking him with 💀💀💀💀💀

- “LUFFY SPIT OUT THE LADLE I NEED IT.” -Sanji

- “I GOT A SPLINTER IN MY THROAT AGSJBSISBDJFNC-“ -luffy (he’s choking on the wood)

- “LUFFY NOOO-” -chopper

- when the time finally came to eat, you were only starting to feel worse, that stench of the meat was making you even more nauseated than before

- you had started to cough more frequently, having a constant itch in your throat that just wouldn’t go away

- “Are you alright y/n?” -robin (shes so caring 😭🫶)

- “I’m ok robin- thank you.”

- you tried playing it off as nothing, but it was getting hard to breathe, your vision becoming blurry as you sat down next to Luffy at the table

- you tried to take a bite, barely being able to swallow it, struggling to get the food down

- “Y/n.. Do you not like it?” -Sanji

- you stared down at your hands, and you noticed that little red dots had started to form on your knuckles, spreading down your wrists

- you couldn’t breathe.

- “Y/n…? Helloooo?” -luffy

- he tried waving his hand in front of your face, but you ended up passing out onto the table face first

- “OH MY GOD Y/N DIED.” -luffy bro you suck 💀💀💀

- chopper immediately rushed over, having to literally shove Luffy away from you so he could inspect you

- cue Luffy running around in circles freaking out about how you died in front of him (like ace)

- “IM SUCH A BAD BOYFRIEND I LET Y/N DIE IN FRONT OF ME-“

- it turned out you were allergic to this specific type of sea king, and chopper managed to give you some medicine to help you feel better

- Sanji kept apologizing, making sure that he would never cook this again in the future

- “ARE YOU OK Y/N?! HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?” -luffy (he’s holding four fingers up but this dumbass can’t count)

- “Four.” -you

- “CHOPPER Y/N’S DYING SHE THINKS IM HOLDING UP 4 FINGERS AGSOWBDOSNDJNFOXNC-“

- omfg Luffy pls 😭

- you love this guy but he’s dumb af

- Sanji absolutely adores cooking for you, he’d do it every minute if you wanted 🫶

- he practically knows every single dish you like by heart, and can recite all your favorite fruits and vegetables

- he always loves making new recipes for you to try, you’re his most trusted taste tester! (It’s not luffy- bro would eat the food and the plate too so he’s disqualified)

- today, he wanted to try a new take on some foreign food items he got from the market

- he hadn’t ever seen these before, but he had a knack for knowing which things would be delicious and rich in nutrients

- ever since the smell of the food traveled onto the sunny, you noticed that it was harder to take deep, full breaths.. but maybe it was just because the air was thin

- it didn’t go away. It only continued to worsen as Sanji kept cooking

- soon you started to cough, and have shortness of breath

- Sanji quickly stopped smoking, thinking that perhaps it was because of him. And he took you outside for a moment for you to get some fresh air

- your symptoms just wouldn’t go away! Irritatingly lingering around like some insect

- the time came to test out the new food, and your cough had worsened, your heartbeat racing from your lungs struggling to breathe

- it tasted good.. But the moment it traveled down your throat, you could feel it closing, as if your airways were completely blocked

- Sanji noticed it right away, and ran off in a panic to get chopper, supporting you from behind as chopper inspected your throat

- Sanji didn’t know what to do.. He wasn’t a doctor. But he knew he had to do whatever he could to make you feel better. He hated seeing you in pain!

- his hands carefully held you up as he allowed you to rest against his chest. Chopper confirmed that it was a severe allergic reaction to the food… And Sanji couldn’t believe that he was the one that caused this

- he immediately made Luffy scarf the food down to get it away from you, and made a mental note to get mad at the merchant that sold him the meat later (anything for y/n 🫶🫶)

- he did whatever he could to make you feel better.. Water? He’s already got it. Take you to bed? Of course! A nice blanket? You don’t even have to ask

- he felt so guilty! He never meant to make you have an allergic reaction like that.. He kept apologizing- over and over

- “Y/n- I’m so sorry.. I didn’t know you were allergic to that. I swear I’ll never cook it again, do you need anything? Water? I’ll get it for you! I’m sorry- you don’t have to forgive me- it’s completely my fault.”

- poor guy was ranting about how he doesn’t deserve you anymore 😭

- you had to reassure the man that it was alright, and that you turned out to be alright in the end!

- “No but seriously please don’t cook that again I think I almost died.” -you

- “IM SORRY Y/N IM SO SORRY-“ -Sanji

- bro is literally on his knees begging for forgiveness 💀

- zoro’s solution to anything health related would either be to sleep, drink, or take a shit

- stomach hurts? Take a shit

- feeling stressed? Take a shit

- need a break? Take a shit (copyrighted by zoro)

- he’s a tough guy, and he’s not very smart sometimes 💀

- but you love the marimo nonetheless 🫶

- he had just finished his 29th fight with Sanji today, and it was right on time for lunch

- you were amazed by how Sanji could argue and still try to kick zoro’s head off at the same time

- today, you felt oddly stiff and uncomfortable, were you getting sick?

- you didn’t start feeling under the weather until Sanji started cooking lunch… But you didn’t pay attention to that, you tried to press on and bare through it with a grin

- it got harder and harder, and your head started hurting next.

- “Your head hurts? Did you shit today?” -zoro

- “What the fuck does my shit have to do with my head zoro?”

- he’s dumb just leave him be

- of course he’s concerned for you, he just doesn’t know how to help you 👍

- he continued eating his lunch, and you managed to take a bite of yours after a couple minutes of mustering up the strength

- you couldn’t breathe

- you started panicking, grabbing zoro’s arm to tell him something’s wrong. This wasn’t just a cold- this was something BAD

- “Y/n? What the hell? You look horrible rn-“ -zoro (did he just insult you 😭)

- he finally realized that something was really wrong- and he started freaking out-

- he started slapping your back to try and get you to spit out the food- he thought you were maybe choking

- “Y/N? ARE YOU CHOKING? STOP CHOKING.” -zoro (wow zoro you’re so helpful 💀💀💀)

- you thought he’d be helpful? Yeah nah 😭

- bro was literally abusing your poor back, you swore he broke some kind of muscle back there

- chopper ran over, quickly inspecting you before deducing that it was an allergic reaction to the food

- “What the hell’s an allergy??” -zoro

- “It’s when people’s bodies don’t like a certain object or thing- it makes them cough or sneeze and maybe even does what it did to y/n.” -chopper

- Mosshead is so confused right now (he’s never been sick 💀)

- You started feeling better after chopper gave you some medicine to clear your system of the food.. And thank god- you felt so much better than before

- “Y/n you could’ve just shit out the food.” -zoro

- “I CANT SHIT ON COMMAND YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER-“

a/n - Luffy can’t count 💪

[buggbuzz]

so i got diagnosed with lyme disease a few days ago!! thankfully, we caught it early enough and i'm on a 45-day treatment plan (im lucky i even got diagnosed & perscribed) that the infection is responding very well to (THANK GOD) 💞💞

CHECK FOR TICKS!!!!!! ESPECIALLY if you're in the northeast. lyme disease is really painful and dangerous, and its super common up here!! my whole life we've been good about tick checking but the ONE time we didnt check (we were so exhausted from kayaking and weathering a freak thunderstorm in a tent😭) was the time i got it.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT LYME DISEASE BELOW:

- there's more to lyme than a bullseye rash. the rash doesnt always appear, and even if it does it might be in a spot where you won't see it. always check really hairy areas, like your armpits or scalp!!

- lyme ticks usually need about 36 hours to infect you, but dont trust that, get checked out anyways. take the tick's body in with you to the doctor's if you can.

- symptoms can begin anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks post-bite. pay attention to any unexplainable soreness in any joints, especially if there's no way you could've hurt yourself and no bruising!! affected wrists and ankles will feel EXACTLY like serious sprains, i swear on everything. dead giveaways are when multiple different joints are affected, or when you have redness on some of your knuckles.

- NO fever does NOT mean you don't have lyme!! fever and other symptoms beyond joint problems are caused by coinfections, which are common. coinfection symptoms include fever, headache, fatigue, emotional instability, paranoia/panic attacks, etc.

- lyme is extremely painful and rapidly gets worse. the longer you wait, the slower and more painful recovery will be. untreated lyme disease can lead to long-term physical disabilities and sickliness, among other problems, for years or even decades. be very proactive about getting antibiotics!!!

[b0n3s-is-gay]

IM FREAKING OUT, I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE DARRY AND I NEED MORE MARRIED CONTENT 😿😿😿

Of course, of course. Your wish is my command!

Over the Rainbow

Synopsis: Your Wedding day with Darry, nothing else...

Tags: Fluff, true love, high school sweethearts trope, Football player x Cheerleader trope, DALLY AND JOHNNY ARE ALIVE (Let me live in denial), reader does have a sister, I didn't give anyone a chance to object to the wedding because no.

Wedding song: "Over the Rainbow" by Judy Garland

(Post divider credit: @/sweetmelodygraphics)

Sweat dripped from Darry's palms, nervousness and excitement flowed in equal measure. You had both planned this for so long, the wedding you've been wanting with him since you first got together in High School...

Darry swallowed thickly as the brides maids and grooms men came walking down the aisle... Two-bit, Steve, Dally (How you convinced him, Darry has no idea), Johnny... Then, Sodapop, his best man... Arm in arm with your maid of honor, your sister.

Darry wiped his hands on his pants, cheeks already hurting from smiling since he woke up this morning. Ponyboy and your niece walked down the aisle next, your niece throwing flower petals as Ponyboy held onto the pillow holding the rings. The rings in question were his parent's wedding rings, the same ring he used to propose.

"It's alright Darry..." Sodapop whispered to his eldest brother when he got into place behind him, his hand clasping on his shoulder. "Don't get too nervous now..."

He nodded to his younger brother and suddenly froze when he heard the music start... You had both picked a song that was important to you both as the wedding march song didn't seem to speak to you both... Looking to the door as "Over the Rainbow" by Judy Garland started to play from the piano, signaling your approach.

The song meant a lot to you both as it was the Wizard of Oz was the first film you both watched together... Over the Rainbow became synonymous with your relationship and everyone new that... It almost brought him to tears, keyword being almost.

Darry could almost hear you singing it as you aproached. He took a deep breath and clasped his hand together, trying to will the tears away. "Somewhere over the rainbow... Way up high..." He whispered the lyrics as he watched you walk towards him with a smile.

You held your bouquet of flowers tightly in your gloved hands, the veil draped over your face so Darry had to squint to see your face clearly. The dress was a short white dress that went just below your knees and the black flats complimented that perfectly... It was beautiful to Darry, but everything you did and wore was beautiful to this man.

When you stood in front of him, Darry was biting his lip as he took a deep breath. You smiled and gently passed the bouquet of roses and lilac to your sister before grabbing his hands. "Hey handsome..." You whispered, holding back your own tears.

Darry chuckled softly as he rubbed your knuckles through your gloves. "Hey beautiful..." He whispered back as he held your hands. "Love weather, is it not?"

The officiant cleared his throat as he started. "Dearly beloved, we stand here today to join the hands of two people who wish to live their days out together. Today you all stand as bits and pieces of their lives that they wish to join together as one." Darry smiled and squeezed your hands before the officiant addressed you both.

"Bride, Groom... Marriage is an important bond that is built on love and trust. That foundation of love and trust is what you will build the rest of your lives with. As you step into the rest of your lives together as husband and wife, remember your promise to one another today as you are surrounded by all your loved ones. If you have any personal vows, now is the time to say them..."

Darry reached into his pocket and gently cleared his throat. "Today as I stand in front of you, my darling, my world... I think about all the years we've spent together; 2 year of friendship, 2 years of pining, and 4 years of love. That time, all 8 years of us, has made my life great and grand." He paused for a moment to take a breath.

"I remember the day that everything happened, the day I had to drop out and get a job to support my brothers. You didn't care that I dropped out, you didn't care that I had to provide for my brothers. You didn't care that I wouldn't have time for us... You didn't care that us being together would be difficult. You cared about me, you helped me raise my brothers, you cared about my life and my family... For that I am reminded that I love you more than words can express and that this wedding isn't a dream..." He finished, watching you wipe your eyes with a soft smile.

You nodded to your sister and she handed you a piece of paper with your vows written on it. "Darrel Shaynne Curtis, I stand before you today with a smile, knowing that after today I will be your wife rather than your girlfriend. I am reminded of every event in my life that has lead me here today and I tell myself that if I was given another chance to make those choices, I would do them again." Darry smiled and gently wiped his eyes, mentally telling himself it was okay to cry on the happiest day of his life.

"When we first met, back when we were 15 and in high school, you caught me after a failed pyramid during a football game. You were taking a break during the first half and we were cheering for the crowd, my teammate dropped me when some person thought it smart to throw something at a tower of teens cheering. I remember my life flashing before my eyes as I fell to what I thought was my death, I felt your arms wrapping around me and catching me." You sniffled as you wiped your eyes, Darry smiling at the memory. "That day, I knew that you would be the one to always save me and I would always save you..."

The officiant nodded his head when you put the paper away and gently grabbed Darry's hands again. "Bride and Groom, are you ready to take the vows of marriage together, and to live together as husband and wife?" You both nodded gently as Ponyboy moved to stand in front of you, holding the rings.

Darry watched as you picked up his father's wedding ring before he picked up his mother's ring. "Wedding rings are made important by you both wearing them, I trust you both know your lefts from your rights as this is a wedding and not an engagement.." He joked, earning a soft chuckle from the wedding guests. Darry slipped the ring on your left finger and smiled as you slipped the ring onto his left ring finger.

"Now bound by the rings and the memories you share together. Let your marriage be a continuous gift. Give freely your laughter and companionship. Share equally in your challenges and joys. Find adventure and peace in each other’s company and the absolute abundance of your love." The officiant smiled as he lifted his hands up in a happy manner. "By the authority vested in me by the State of Oklahoma, I now pronounce you husband and wife, Mr and Mrs Curtis. You may now kiss the bride!"

Darry didn't waste a second before pulling your veil back and sweeping you up in a loving kiss, smiling as soft tears rolled down both your cheeks. Your arm found his cheek and your hand found his cheek, everyone clapping as he pulled back... How could one deny him with that big ass grin on his face.

"Mr. and Mrs. Curtis... What a great name to share..." He whispered before pulling back, his brothers and gang members almost knocking you to the floor in a hug.

[myymi]

if im not too late with the drabbles;

tails has a really bad nightmare about westside (parent abandonment or another traumatic incident) and he goes to his big bro sonic for some emotional support and cuddles

feel free to ignore this if they arent open :)

word count-1369

ao3

--------------------

He’s tired of running.

He’s tired of being chased.

But he doesn’t want to get hurt, so he keeps running despite how out of breath he was.

That is, until a figure steps out in front of him, causing him to skid to a stop.

Their head was a blurry mess, which he assumes is because of the tears in his eyes.

Somewhere in his mind he knows the real reason, but he doesn’t get much chance to think on it when more blurry figures surround him.

The forest scenery he’d been running through started morphing into other things. The village, the beach, other clearings around the island, until everything went black.

Everything but those damn figures.

They approached him, causing him to shrink down. He couldn’t do anything. They were blocking any chance of running, and everyone knows he’s far too weak to fight back.

His breathing quickened even more as he curled into him, biting down sobs as he prayed to some God out there to protect him despite knowing nobody would do anything for him.

He was a deformed freak. Why would someone save him?

One of the figures grabbed him, and then everything disappeared.

He was trapped in an endless void as voices bounced around the air, insults worse than anything you could think of thrown at him from every angle.

He just had to take it.

Covering his ears did nothing to drown it out.

A few voices were more prominent than the others. He recognized them.

How could he not, when they were laughing about how much better their life was now that he was no longer a part of it?

The voices eventually merged into one, the sentence being repeated over and over.

It started as some random one he’d heard years ago, then morphed into those of his ex-family’s. His older brother, mother, hell even his father despite the fact he hadn’t heard his voice since he was one year old.

It didn’t stop changing.

It eventually morphed into his new family.

First, Shadow.

Next, Rouge.

Vector, Cream, Silver, Espio, Charmy.

Amy then Knuckles. Until, finally..

It was Sonic.

“Why would anyone want a freak like you in their family?”

–

Tails’ eyes shot open, breathing uneven and he felt his fur sticking to his skin in the most uncomfortable ways possible due to all the sweat.

His quick breaths slowed as he looked around, recognizing his bedroom.

He was fine.

No one was chasing him.

With a groan, the fox pushed himself into a sitting position. He brought a hand up to rub at his eyes, pausing when he felt the trail of tears on his muzzle.

He swallowed dryly, suddenly feeling very dehydrated. He glanced at his digital clock as he pulled his blanket off to the side, not caring about neatening it. He had to wash it and his sheets anyway because of all the sweat.

3:37 AM.

Tails wiped away his tears as he exited his room, socked feet taking careful steps on instinct to avoid all the creaky planks.

He hated the noise they made. He really needed to fix it.

The kit used the wall for support as he descended down the stairs. He took a deep breath as he made his way to the kitchen.

He stopped in the living room.

Sonic was on his couch, sprawled out in a way that could not be comfortable in any way. Drool spilled from the corner of the hedgehog’s mouth, snores louder than most of the fox’s machinery filled the air.

Tails wanted to roll his eyes at the scene. It wasn’t unusual for Sonic to crash at his place unexpectedly–he did have a key–but did he always have to use the couch? He had a bedroom of his own for this specific reason.

But the fox’s breath felt caught in his throat at the sight of the older, his nightmare flooding his brain full force.

“Why would anyone want a freak like you in their family?”

His ears pressed against his head as new tears piled in the corner of his eyes. He swiped at them, but more immediately took their place.

His breathing started picking up pace and, before he knew it, he was in front of Sonic, his ungloved paw hovering above the hedgehog’s shoulder.

He forced his body to freeze, biting his inner cheek.

Tails is 8 years old now. He shouldn’t be running to his big brother because of a bad dream. He’s old enough to deal with these on his own.

But no matter how hard his mind begs his body to leave the teen be, it’s a losing battle.

His hand makes contact with the hedgehog’s shoulder, shaking it as softly as he can to tell the other he’s not a threat.

“Why would anyone want a freak like you in their family?”

With a grunt, Sonic’s eyes slowly opened as he looked up to see who woke him. Tails immediately regrets it, the teen looks exhausted.

That exhaustion seemed to disappear when Sonic saw the tears welled up in the younger’s eyes.

“You okay?” His voice was groggy, still catching up to the rest of his body being awake. The little fox shook his head as the teen sat up.

“C’mere, kid.” Sonic gave him a sympathetic smile as he opened his arms, inviting the kit to lay on him. Tears finally spilled over as Tails crawled into his hero’s arms.

Sonic shushed the younger, his left hand petting the kit’s head as his right held him close. The kid buried his head into the older’s neck, hiding his tears.

“D’ya have a bad dream, bud?” The teen asked quietly, his head leaning against the fox’s as he gently rocked them.Tails’ head bobbed ever so slightly, hands gripping the hedgehog with a strength you wouldn’t expect an eight year old to possess.

Sonic hummed, letting the kit know he heard him as he continued the slow rocks and gentle pets. He kept it up until the sobs quieted, the death grip on his back easing as the younger pulled away.

The hedgehog frowned at the sight of his brother’s face. It was obvious he had been crying even before waking the teen up, his eyes were too red and his fur was a complete mess.

“Wanna talk?” The older asked, using the hand that was petting the fox to wipe away his tears.

“I-It–” Tails shook his head and leaned into the touch, “It was just.. Bad memories. Westside.” The kit tried not to talk too much, his throat feeling scratchy. He needed some water, but he didn’t want to get up.

“Again?” Sonic frowned. The fox had been having a lot of nightmares about Westside recently.

“I-I know, I’m sorry.” The boy bit his lip, suddenly thinking that this was a terrible idea.

“No, don’t apologize, li’l bro. Not your fault.” The teen pulled the younger into another hug, feeling how much he was shaking.

“Still. I-It’s childish to run to you every time.” Tails grumbled, but he didn’t pull away from the hug. He cuddled into his hero, his namesakes providing them warmth as they curled around.

“Nothin’ wrong with being childish. Or needing help.” Sonic shook his head. He had to break the kit free from that thought process, but he just couldn’t figure out how to do it.

The fox didn’t respond, just closed his eyes as he worked on evening out his breath.

The teen hummed as he moved to lay back down, pulling the cover over the two of them without releasing his hold on his little brother.

“Get some sleep, buddy.” Sonic whispered as he scratched the spot behind Tails’ ears to help ease him. “We can deal with it in the morning.”

The fox nodded as he shifted slightly to be more comfortable, mumbling a quiet goodnight to the older.

The hug paired with the gentle petting made it easy for the kid to fall asleep. He was out within a few seconds.

Sonic sighed, pressing his forehead against the younger’s.

He just wishes there was something he could do to make the nightmares leave his little brother alone.

[ghostchems]

i feel so unlike myself. i think i may be getting sick. serious pressure in my ears and the food i ate this morning did NOT taste right. i just feel very not right and im so tired.

work is very demanding right now and it’s freaking me out.

i also had to stay late (for something fun but still it was so hot and i have a long commute) so i got home late. and then i had awful awful nightmares.

it started off as me mourning a friend of mine who passed about a year and a half ago. then it morphed i to me mourning gilda radner?? these women came up to me and said i wasn’t mourning right so they like held me still while one of them started to bite the skin off of my knuckles

just not having a good time. would like to be myself again.

[heart2beom]

hiii! i hope ur doing okay <3

i was wondering what writers you would recommend that have a similar style (romance and comedy) to you since i'm new on tumblr :'P

omg wait this is sort of sweet 😭 i dont really know what my 'style' exactly is, BUT i have been waiting for this exact moment!!!! (ranting about my favorite writers my favorite beings in the world and fangirling bcs that is clearly in my nature)

OKAY OKAY LETS DO THIS!!!

i recommend

-> @jjunis

first writer i got into when stumbling upon moablr!! LITERALLY THE CUTEST SMAUs (i know i dont really make those but i swearrrrr give her soobin one a shot its so ROMCOM-ESQUE) AND all her oneshots are fluffy and cute and and

my favorite piece from them is their beomgyu smau (bcs im a struggling bamtori that eats up anything beomgyu) my beloved GHOSTING. its on hold but its soooooo fucking good, like slow burn at its core and i LOVE it. its not romantic yet but i swear its sooo worth it, the topics it tackles and the character development and the effectiveness of the flashbacks and how real each character feels ...this is the IT smau!!!!

-> @tqmies

i held off on reading for soooo long even when i found each and every summary of her fics sooooooo interesting but then one day i had free time and decided i should finally tackle my reading list and !!!!

i soooo recommend each and every fic, like its all SO good??? FOR WHAT??? so easy to read but her vocab isn't limited, and i just love that balance so much. everything is good. i recommend EVERYTHING.

but if i had to choose ONE, just ONE thing to recommend, it would be love again because i am a whore for best friends to lovers and this was the most perfect beomgyu b2l ever.

-> @minastras

um if mina isn't one of the best writers on moablr then who is????? i'd recommend for starters her yeonjun fic mr. vice president literally captured the essence of academic rivals to lovers arc so well (ill fangirl over this more on my official rec list bcs i have a lot to say but trust!!! minas the writer you're looking for)

also has a cute ongoing taehyun smau, read that too!!!

-> @tyunlatte

the most adorablest, cutest, tooth rotting fluff i squeal over their fics. im still going through their masterlist but FUCKKKKKKK everything ive read so far is SOOOOO good. also totally someone worth following, my dash is blessed every day they're the cutest!!

i'd personally recommend her entire drabble event, but my favorite has to be stay stay stay because im a pureblood swiftie and i love soobin my heart hurts

also ALSO recommend cool hot sweet love. i'm the biggest sucker for love triangles (i mean hello, two cute boys fawning over you??? sign me up ????) and the fact that we get both endings????? hail the great alex!!!

-> @hueningshaped

i can't even pinpoint one fic i'd recommend, literally just go through their entire masterlist it's all so fucking well written (hello if u see this i literally freaked out when you followed me back ur literally my idol, i am your #1 fan rereading everything youve written forever)

-> @ijhyo

absolutely insane writer, blessed this site!!!! i'd recommend their slasher series (can't find the link but im sure youll find it). i know that isnt necessarily romcomy but it was so good (i guessed the insane bitch correctly and therefore i will forever love the series for making me feel smart!!!!!)

OMG ALSO THEIR BEOMGYU FIC!! how to get the girl! once again, i am a whore for b2l.

-> @beomgyuslilracha

i havent read an entire series yet but from what ive read so far..ugh pls beg them to be a scriptwriter i need her fics on my screen, on NETFLIX, ON HULU, DISNEY+ whatever!!! plz pull a 50 shades of grey

-> @gyu-xiao

they only have three things for txt but each one of them is so good, i squealed over each fic. my favorite hyuka fic comes from them!! had me biting my knuckles trying not to scream like damn 😭

okay these are the writers i could first think of 😭 i swear i feel like i forgot three or four but oh well, enjoy your tumblr cruise 🙏

[plantfeed]

welcome to marina, JUDE DEMPSEY ( cis man, he/him) ! they are a TWENTY-FIVE year old who has lived on the island for TWO MONTHS. word on the street is they’re currently living in TOWER HILL and works as a FREELANCE VIDEOGRAPHER / LOCATION SCOUT ON FILM & TV SETS. everyone also says they look a lot like ARON PIPER. what do you think? — NORA, 27, she/her, GMT.

here is the pinterest for jude. here’s a jude musings tag. this vine radiates jude energy.  so does this.  this video is very jude. u can find everythin i have abt him under the cut. 

as a warning this is the most british character i've ever played so a lot of this will probably be largely unintelligible to anyone outside the gulf stream bt thats ok im used to ppl not understanding a word im saying xx

stats.

NAME:   jude dempsey. AGE:   twenty-five. GENDER & PRONOUNS:    cis man, he/him. OCCUPATION:  says he’s an early-career filmmaker and he has done a few music videos but mostly he just creates videography content for ladbible and vice’s social media. also a location scout on film n tv sets.  ARCHETYPES: the anarchist. the cheeky chappy. the going-nowhere-fast. the aimless. the hostile. the charity case. the juvenile delinquent. ZODIAC: saggitarius sun, scorpio moon, pisces rising. HEIGHT:  6′1 with hair, 6′0 without RESIDENCY: tower hill. previously rochdale, greater manchester. occasionally london. came to marina to work on a film a few months back n when the job ended he jst ended up staying. TATTOOS: covered in them. for a few years when he was in high school, his sister aoife was thinking about becoming a tattoo artist and he was her walking canvas. after seeing how some of jude’s tats turned out, she decided against them, but they’re all super special to him. FACECLAIM:   arón piper.

POSITIVE TRAITS.   spirited ,  rambunctious ,  witty , well - intentioned ( most of the time ),  passionate , decisive , physically affectionate ,  a loyal friend , assertive .

NEGATIVE TRAITS.   foolhardy ,  grumpy ,  paradoxical ,  rude , stupid ,  jealous , obsessive , struggles to admit when he’s wrong ,  over confident ( and for what ? )  lacks the ability to self-reflect .

LIKES.  banter ,  tk maxx ,  footie with the lads ,  spending all day in spoons ,   cheap lager , cat-calling workmen as a power play ,  saying  ‘ oh, crumbs ’  when shit goes down ,  playing fifa on xbox ,  hoodies that say ‘ supreme ’  and  ‘ anti - social social club ’ ,  the beastie boys ,  break - dancing ,  knowing the guy in the corner - shop and his whole family by name ,   knock - off adidas ,  pitt bull terriers ,  energy drinks ,  M.I.L.Fs ,  shooting hoops after school with a crate full of tinnies , absolutely dousing himself in CK one before a big night on the town ,  bingeing the real housewives ,  having a block list as long as your arm ,  taylor swift , saying  “ that’s your girlfriend ”  to his mates about the weirdest looking people you see on the street ,  walking into a club with a fit bird on your arm knowing that you’ll probably get sucked off in the loos ,  making his one night stand a full english ,  sleight of hand magic tricks , always being covered in scabs , paddington 2 , making the spotify playlist for pre-drinks , doing the duck face or biting his tongue in selfies . 

aesthetics.

blood stains on a cigarette rizzla, a jovial whistle as you tend to a full english breakfast ( eggs served sunny-side up ), jamming screwdrivers into the tag around your ankle to sneak out of the house to boiler room dj sets, a stick-and-poke tattoo spelling ‘ACAB’ across your knuckles that you got at a house party while tripping on ket,  a ‘no ball games’ sign used as one goal post & a tracksuit jumper used as the other one, rugby socks and porno mags stuffed beneath a single bed still laundered with spiderman bed sheets.

character references.

Ronan (The Raven Cycle), Daniel Dessario (Freaks & Geeks), Lip Gallagher (Shameless), Mercutio (Romeo & Juliet), Connell (Normal People), Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games), Eggsy (Kingsman), whatever Channing Tatum’s character is called (Step Up), Kurtan (This Country), Pete Davidson’s character in Bodies, Bodies, Bodies.

bullet point summary of jude

tw drugs and a life of crime

jude is peak dark fruits twitter, massive “u fooking wot mate???” football hooligan britpop love island lad, appears quite jack-the-lad, but also just massive softie once you chisel your way passed the six layers of reinforced concrete barrier beneath his adidas shell suit

self-declared ‘bad boy’ who mums can’t help but love and sadly yes in the past he has fucked a girlfriend’s mum :/

massive dark fruits brit pop, crossbody bum bag, novelty sunglasses geezer. marcus rashford fanboy. probably has a slit in his eyebrow and has definitely shaved go faster racing stripes into his hair before.

b4 coming 2 marina he was bopping about between london and manchester bcos he works freelance as a location scout n a runner on film sets. he does videography stuff for magazines frm time to time too. came to marina bcos a film was shooting there, ended up staying. i think we'll go w that.

has always had strong women in his life so loves it when a girl could kick his ass. loves his mum so much, has 2 sisters he adores, n thinks his dad's a p.o.s, n is like. u know what. women are really excellent. maybe i shd return their tinder messages

bt then finds it hard to commit bcos,...... theres so many opportunities doesn't wnna shut himself off location wise job wise relationship wise. but usually he’s quite good at communicating that and not being a total dick to women

having said that he is a bit of a bastard if im honest but is fully aware of it and his new years resolution would be to not leave girls on red even if it’s just a ‘haha’

worms have 4 hearts but no one to love cos their gross. that’s jude. he’s a mattress on the floor no bedframe guy :/

impulsive guy who jumps from thing to thing (parkour).

he actually does do parkour tho n as a kid on house arrest he used to make stupid youtube videos of him doing parkour and him breakdancing in his garden. hate it here

literally cant stop stealing things. may or may not include other ppls partners.

white boy who thinks he can rap. always rolling ciggies in the smoking area of the local dive bar that plays arctic monkeys and stone roses and has a stupid tiny hat that all those skateboarders wear and always has a chain around his neck and loads of rings and is tryna chat up the barmaid so he can stay after they close and fuck her from behind while she counts whats in the tills :/

tells ppl he rides a motorbike but its..... a fucking vespa..... get the fuck out of here w ur gay yearning n silenzio bruno.....

'straight' white guy with massive homoerotic struggles for his mates but its just boys being boys. lads being lads. mate what are you being weird about it for. 

if he had longer to grown and evolve i wld probs want him to overcome his toxic masculine internalised homophobia n be with a guy bt alas. we cant have everything.

his usual type is someone fun loving and carefree whos here for a good time and not for a long time bt thats bcos he avoids commitment and has a deep-rooted fear of not being enough. 

jude's quite a passionate and obsessive person which is why he usually tries to keep romance and sex separate with sex as a very casual no feelings, we're not friends, kinda thing bcos i think he can just become completely possessed by some1 n willing to do anything fr them n frankly..... it scares him.

despite putting out such a fuckboy persona he actually wants someone to find him worthy of love and be willing 2 put in the time.

the last rp i played him in was a love island rp. he fingered someone on his first day then cheated on them like 2 days later (bt technically they weren't even coupled up n the initial fingering was kind of cheating) and ended up proposing to his new gf in the finale. went in there for the jet-2 holiday and money to buy his mum a house n then fell head over dick in love and was super intense the whole way through bt kinda funny. not decided if im keeping love island in his backstory bt probably wont as its in mimi's and this island isn't big enough for two ex love island contestants

loves to dance. loves 100 gecs and king gizzard and the lizard wizard bt very into hip hop and 00s grime too. can still breakdance a bit. george sampson from britain’s got talent was his hero in secondary school

background / bio stuff

—  twenty-five. cis-male. he / him. bisexual bt in denial. has a million different piercings and tattoos and broken so many bones. he was originally based on the tarot card the fool (which represents spontaneity, impulsivity, new beginnings, improvising, leaps of faith or lack of direction, poor judgement, chaos and stupidity depending on which way up it is). i have a full bio for him but i wrote it when i was like 14 and frankly its embarrassing so ur just getting bullet points (n tbh they are long as fuck…. so…..) xx 

— born in rochdale, raised in manchester. his family ran the market stool that sells knock-off adidas trainers fake rollex watches (u kno the one. or is this just a british thing?) so he worked on that quite a lot as a kid, this little 10 year old boy in a bucket hat and a tracksuit shouting from his market stool. all of his childhood birthday parties were at the local boozer so the parents could get pissed while the kids ran around throwing pool balls at each other. 

— there wasn’t much stability in his childhood. they were constantly being chucked out of whatever flat they were renting. one of his goals for coming on love island is to win a lot of money so he can buy his mum a house bcos he’s fed up of seeing her live in absolute shitholes.

—  he was in and out the care system as well as juvenile detention a lot as a kid for petty crimes like larcency, public indecency, trespassing, graffiti. his mum was the most non-maternal mum ever and basically ran their home like an oliver twist workhouse bt he still loved her. came from a family of miscreants who were often in trouble with the law and as a result social services got involved and he was tossed about different foster families like a hot potato but he kept running back to his mum (mama's boy).

— this is really sad but i think a lot of the reason why he committed petty crimes was because when he was in the juvenile detention centre there was structure, and people checking in on him to make sure he hadn’t vanished, and he got regular meals, and he was kind of lacking those things at home…. the fridge was always empty, no one cared if he was in his room or out on the streets causing trouble…. in juvie he got a sense of family as fucked up as that sounds….. it’s also where he learned to fight 

— very working class roots, proud of this fact, and fucking hates the rich. is the type to grafiti a house in the posh neighbourhoods and cut their telephone wires with pliers because why not, they can just get their butler to fix it.  people at school would call his family  “ne’er-do-wells”, and as a result he spent most of his youth causing havoc on the streets because it was the only kind of identity he knew so he might as well live up to it. his brothers worked at the fun fairs and carnivals in the summer months. jude used to rollerblade around and steal candy flosses from the pier and rig the slot machines so that they’d spill out loads of coins for him. the archetypal lock-picking chaotic neutral rogue type.

 — constantly undermines his own intelligence and doesn’t really trust that he’s actually clever, despite the fact that he could have done well in school if he’d tried (and wasn’t constantly having to parent his younger siblings because as soon as the older ones reached 16 they were out of that house and into the world). he knows that people will see him and just assume he’s a dumb idiot so he’s kind of in a place where he makes people think that before they can even assume it, because that way he feels in control. is constantly saying he can’t read but in fact!! he can read. it just takes him a bit longer cos the words move around on the page he’s got dyslexia 

— never finished school. got a bus to london at sixteen years old with a skateboard, his best mate, a jar full of pennies and a digital camera. they couch surfed for ages and were in a lot of dodgy situations until jude got pretty involved in the industrial skate scene. then they just slept on sk8rbois sofas and in their dirty basements for a while until they had enough money to rent a flat. also super into parkour. when he wasn’t freerunning himself he took videos of the others n he built up a small following on youtube.

—  now works as a freelance photographer / content creator for VICE and other online journals. involved in a lot of zines. it’s a lot of effort and not much money so he also works as a runner on tv sets when ever tv or film shoots locally. he also does bar shifts here and there when he’s had a massive piss up and spent £100 buying shots and needs to get some money in before pay day. basically a jack-of-all-trades with 5 different jobs that he swaps like interchangeable hats and doesn’t correctly fill out his tax returns for.

— has been hopping around place to place since he left school at 16. doesn’t really consider anywhere home, but rather the feeling of cracking the top off an ice cold bottle of beer and slapping ur mates on the thighs. he would go back home to his parents house but honestly his dad is never there and his mum is p much a liability and always drunk and even tho he loves her loads the hero pedestal he put her on as a kid is kinda gone now and he just cant be bothered to deal with it any more, plus all his siblings have moved out now. 

headcanons.

— despite being lacking in maturity, jude’s kind of like, a caring if somewhat grumpy father figure. because his parents were never really around and him n his siblings had to look out for each other, he likes to make sure everyone’s eaten, and is always the first to offer up his bed or sofa if someone needs a place to stay. he climbs trees to help injured birds and has a rescue staffie with three legs, as well as two stray cats he’s loosely adopted because they always seemed hungry, and now he’s called them smokey n bandit. he likes animals more than people. 

— very physically fit. wants to run fast so he can overtake the bourgeoise when the zombies come. sporty soft jock himbo type and was always better with his body than he was with words. he’s learned to say more by not speaking. loves basketball. loves football n rugby. loves being in the gym mostly so he can watch hot gymshark influencer girls do their squats.

— was massively into parkour as a kid. now a freerunner and freelance photographer. is one of those guys u see nowadays on instagram who climb to the top of a really high building in their fuckin sneakers to do an ig story of new york from like, 100ft up and get paid by vice to do it. he started doing shit like that when he was like 15 because UNILAD or s/t saw one of his instagram videos of him up this building taking shots on his go-pro n were like hey we can use this

 — relationship wise, he tends to pine after one person for ages and fuck a load of people to get over them and not really treat the people very well who he fucks along the way in his process of coping with someone not wanting him back. can get a bit obsessive. a bit intense. a typical scorpio moon that way. if he’s all-in on you he’s loyal as fuck but it takes a lot for him to go all in. enjoys the will-they-won’t they and the thrill of the chase more than he enjoys being in a relationship.

— kind of an amalgamation of daniel dessario and nick andopolis in freaks and geeks. obsessed with dad rock and can play electric guitar but is pretty bad at it. is that one friend who’s always like “tame impala are so much better than the stone roses man. talking heads were the fucking bomb, you weren’t there, you don’t know david byrne like i do” etc etc pop culture references. also really into dad rock and fuckin loves parquet courts.

— chews the inside of his cheek when he’s nervous or irritated. it’s a tick he’s had since youth, almost a way of biting his tongue. it used to give him terrible mouth ulcers. he’s also heavily avoidant when it comes to dealing with anything not chill n usually runs from it or gets blackout drunk. he definitely uses binge drinking as a coping mechanism.

— can be difficult to talk to and finds communicating what he actually feels hard at times like usually it'll come out as a different emotion. ppl in prev rps have said he's autistic bt idk if he is i dnt wanna diagnose without knowing enough.

— though his blood can easily boil, he’s not quick to resort to violence. he prefers to either run from it or clumsily attempt being a peacemaker. he’ll only usually end up fighting accidentally, literally that tommy shelby gif like STOP FIGHTING NO FUCKING FIGHTING and two seconds later he’s throwing a punch.

— but apart from that, he’s pretty solid. may appear to be a ‘lads lad’ but is actually a fucking sweetheart. some character inspos are connell from normal people, daniel dessario, eggsy from kingsman, soren from the dragon prince, lip from shameless, dionysus god of wine and ecstasy, channing tatum’s character in step up and sokka in A:TLA.

 — an angry boi but also a soft boi beneath the angry boi. has a heart of gold deep down but was always getting dragged into dodgy shit as a kid because he came from a rough family and never learned any better. reminds me a lot of fezco in euphoria because he’s dumb and rough around the edges bt he’s also well-intentioned and cld be a decent person but is v much a victim of his circumstances. like yeah he’s physically assaulted several police officers and committed a heinous amount of vandalism and shoplifts something almost every time he enters a shop but he’s trying every day to be better  🥺👉👈 .

WANTED PLOTS.

— fellow filmmakers who maybe also worked on the film he came here to shoot and hooked him up with another job in the area. he's now freelancing doing videography so anyone who needs video work done or advertisements hit me up.

— also considering making him a school janitor if he runs out of work n he would just jump onto the trollies and wheel about until he ends up spilling floor gel everywhere

— someone teach him to surf because we don't have any beaches or water at all for that matter in england

— sexy toxic evil flings. only been here 2 months so sadly cant do ex girlfriend or childhood sweetheart or best friends at school but cld have hooked up w ppl in the first week and ghosted thinking he'd only be there a little while but now he's got a flat and quite likes the island and isn't in a hurry to leave because all thats waiting for him back home is heartbreak.

— actually his sister aoife married an american and had a baby with him and moved away from home so MAYBE actually his sister and his sisters partner live in marina and that's why he's stayed here longer n cld be a way for him to kno ppl. so ppl cld know his sister or her partner maybe. they are very very earthy airy fairy campfire songs reiki healing spiritual retreat in the woods type ppl (nothin like jude) n probs run breathwork classes etc. maybe i make a wanted connection

— honestly brotps. i want so many brotps, if ur character is lad behaviour at all, then hook me up they could be best mates. alternatively they could just really see too much of themselves in each other and not get on spicy.

— skate gang he does parkour, freerunning and skateboarding so would hang around parks where they have shit he can jump off

— anything and everything. honestly please bombard me with messages, i’m in the discord (nora / plantfeed), or you can im me, i’m slow to message but once we get the ball rolling i promise it’ll be a hoot ok pce and love x

[senorablack]

Maybe We'll Live and Learn (Maybe We'll Crash and Burn)

Words: 878 words Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes Additional Tags: Fluff, First Time Summary: A first kiss ficlet.

It’s been a full two minutes or so of silence.

Daryl is hot in the neck and Rick has his knuckles between his teeth. They’re turning red the harder he pulls at them.

"Look, I’m sorry if I - " he stops short. He hums. His throat is closing up on him, soon to choke him with how dry his mouth is now. 

"…if I over stepped a boundary,” Rick finishes eventually.

Daryl probably shakes his head too fast. No. He’s scanning, without moving his head, the not even foot of difference between them on his cell cot even though he could feel it alright enough.  Both their knees threaten to touch, and instead of swinging his legs that much closer, he clenches his hands.  

"No, it--you didn’t do…" Daryl can feel his palms start a round of the sweats that he knows ain’t got nothing to do with the Georgia heat.

"I didn’t?" Rick, biting his fingers swollen, looks up from where his eyes shot pointedly anyway and everywhere but Daryl. Rick looks up and he’s taking his hands out his mouth and laying them as calmly as the shakes’ll allow him to on his thighs. It's already at the worlds end, he don’t got nothing to be afraid of, do he?

Daryl knows what he wants to say, hell, he damn near said it already. Just the finishing part he needs, right? This ain’t me. Really, this never been him. Pre end of the world Daryl’d of told the man on his bed to get the hell away, and not before he gave ‘im a splotchy and painful parting gift. Old Daryl’d probably freak the fuck out, is the thing, ‘cause he ain’t ever had to deal with those feelings. S’Like he been living with some terminal condition, or something, but he didn’t always get the symptoms. Old Daryl’d sit days alone in bottle and cigarette smoke, asking who the fuck this guy was to go and kill a man like that. But Rick ain’t just some guy, and he knows it. Shit, he’s been willing to risk himself for Rick for a long time now.

Daryl’s breathing picks up with the realization.

"Didn’t what?" Rick tries again.

[elektronikfloors]

WHEN SHOULD I BE WORRIED ABOUT A SMALL PUNCTURE FROM THE TOOTH OF A SMALL DOG LESS THAN A YEAR OLD ON THE KNUCKLE OF MY FINGER? IM A HYPOCHONDRIAC AND THE DOG WAS PLAYING AND BITING AROUND IN DIRT BEFORE IT HAPPENED SO IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT BEING INFECTED. I CLEANED IT WITH SOAP AND WATER AND PUT BACITRACIN OINTMENT ON IT AND A BANDAID

[akascow]

i think already made a scar post but imma do it again bc im thinking about it and im bored and i think my scar stories are stupid funny

inner right ankle- scraped it on an electric razor scooter. kinda looks like west virginia. it definitely damaged nerves tho bc i havemt been able to feel in that spot since. my top 3 fave

base of right leg- blister from roller skates that i didnt leave alone. kinda loose skin. feels weird

right knee- fell on one of the stair teeth things on an escalator. in europe. it wasnt even moving. it left an indent lmao. also top 3 fave.

top of right thigh- dropped a hot glue gun on myself lmao. even worse i was making 1D members from toilet paper tubes

left calf- backed into a radiator. looks like two equally spaced lines. mom joked i could get a tattoo between them bc it looked like line paper

left forearm- probably a mosquito bite idk, super small

left wrist- a cat scratch probably. i used to pick at them and draw over them with pink pen ink till i got bored n let them heal

base of left pinkie knuckle- snapped my instrument case on it n then a few weeks later fell on the stairs and scratched it again in the same exact spot

right forearm- like 5 seperate visible cat scratches and a random lil circle

right wrist- two huge lines on the top of my wrist. cat scratches. i was holding her and she freaked out super hard and dug into me. im always worried they look,, suspicious. i also picked at them way longer than i shouldve

right thumb- two and a half seperate cat scratches that joined together to make a triangle. was very happy when that happened lol

right pointer knuckle- dog bit me lmao

middle of right middle finger- small white square. from rugburn of all things. i was crawling across a carpet and dragged my hand and like, skin came off. very weird core memory but probably my favorite lookin scar. top 3 as well

annnnd theres a billion other cat scars on my hands that were pigmented at one point but faded over time (i know because i went over all of them with my pink pen at one point)

and theres a scratch on my hand rn that i dont remember getting but its already turning scar color so thats fun :/

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

okay maybe i am more sick in the head then i thought but dark/toxic peter parker is so hot to me. please hear me out.

the cocky peter parker, the one your parents told you to stay away from. in some sick, twisted way, you’re obsessed with him in the sense you’d do anything this man asks of you. like anything. he’s the only man whose truly loved you, and given you a sense of worth (daddy issues hello) and he knows this of course. ur wrapped around his finger with those chunky silver rings he wears while hes knuckle deep inside you, making you cum even though you beg him to stop because its too much. you trail along side him like a lost puppy, (and bc of the size difference you kind gotta latch your fingers onto his to keep up)

hes always pushing you to your limits, sometimes making you pass out bc of the intense stim. he gets turned on by watching you cry and whine for him, especially if its because of his teasing. like he’s making you ride his thigh, bouncing his knee and then stopping right before you cum, mocking you the whole time. or he’ll face fuck you until you cant breathe, saying things like “oh cmon sweetheart i thought you could handle this? is daddy too much for you?” and “you know you dont get a say in this love, daddy makes the rules. you just let me fuck you dumb mkay?” he’d also spank you over his knee often, and when you’d cry from the pain he’d say things like “im doing this because its good for you sweetheart. i always know whats best for you.” with that false pity look, later spitting into your mouth and fucking you dumb. by the end ur FLOATINGGG in subspace.

and peters always reminding you that youre his, and no one elses. extremely possessive, always marking you to the point you cant leave the house without his love bites on your body.

i think its so hot to me bc we (well not everyone but ya know the majority) see peter as this shy, timid and soft character. but what if hes not? its a nice thought to ponder. i love the whole good guy outer shell, then complete freak in the bedroom idea. he definitely has that, especially toxic peter. hes had such lack of control in his life he just needs to guide someone, and youre in desperate need of someone guiding you, its just...perfect in some way

he would also fuck you to this . okay thats all from me gn babies i need help<3

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Can I request HSP + depression reader (who thinks they are just weak and being crybaby) x Bucky, please? I understand you are super busy right now and I didn’t mean to rush you or anything but I'm just struggling with both HSP and depression and couldn’t help but send it right now. No need to hurry, just when you are free and maybe when you had nothing to write. Thank you and I love you!

Thank you for the request, I’m sorry it’s been a difficult time for you! I’m here if you need me and I hope that this helps!!! 

It’s called empathy

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1981

Warnings: depression, HSP (highly sensitive person), low self worth, negative self talk, swearing (that’s normal for me but this one’s a little extra), angst (more so internal idk if that needs a warning), fluff/comfort

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @abitgryffindorky @buckys-blue-eyes @strawberrimae @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing

Taglist     Masterlist

--------------

Breathe in

Breathe out

In 

Out 

...in…

You felt a tear escape your eyes

Goddamn it

You didn’t want to cry, you couldn’t let yourself. It was stupid, it was just some shitty remark from someone when they were in a shitty mood, it wasn’t your fault, all that bullshit you tried to tell yourself. It never worked.

You were trying to control your breathing, looking up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away, biting your lip. You would not cry, not over this. Not over something that wasn’t worth your tears

Not when you didn’t even know what exactly you were crying over. 

Yet here you were, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with white knuckles, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears at bay. And it wasn’t working.

Weak sensitive piece of shit. 

What good were you to the team if you cry in the bathroom like a baby every time something remotely stressful happens? People usually cry when they're in pain or when they’re grieving - the only excuse you had was you were stressed or sad. 

You felt another few tears escape and you angrily swiped them away, cursing yourself for being so weak. 

You hated this, you hated yourself. You were so numb most of the time, especially when you were alone. You found yourself alone in your room with racing thoughts feeling like you were falling apart. Yet when you were alone you could only stare at the ceiling wondering if it would get any worse. 

The answer was usually yes.

Whenever you would go on missions with the team, you were able to push aside your stress. You had a job to do and you would do it. But when the mission was over and you were walking back through the rubble - seeing all the blood, destruction, fear - then it would start to get to you. You would panic, you would feel tears cloud your vision. Tears for those you were leaving behind, and those who had nowhere to go, those who lost someone. That was understandable. 

It seemed to affect you more than the others though. It was understandable to be moved by so much destruction. But for you everyone felt like someone you had known and loved. 

You could feel the grief in those left behind, feel the sadness and pain that they were going through. 

The same was true when you weren’t on missions. When those who were on them would come back. Whether they were injured or their eyes were saddened - you knew when a mission was rough. You would listen, you would be there for people. It was easy to talk to you, and you were very wise. 

But it still overwhelmed you. You couldn’t say no, you didn’t want to. You wanted to help but it would be so emotionally taxing for you. So behind closed doors, you would break. Be there for others, listen when they need to talk, others come first - you took their emotional pain onto yourself. 

You were grateful that you could help - but in the process it was hurting you. 

You allowed yourself to feel sad when you were alone in your room. No one could see you be weak in the dark of your room. But you never cried much just from the pure exhaustion of your thoughts. Sometimes you wanted to, just feeling so incredibly empty that you just wanted to have an ugly crying session curled up in bed.

But you didn’t get to make that choice.

The crying wouldn’t come until the absolute worst times. If you had messed up on a mission, if Tony said something a little too harshly because to him everything was a joke, seeing something gruesome on a mission- whenever it came to someone else getting involved, the tears would come. Hell sometimes even being overwhelmed in public would be enough to start the waterworks. 

You always felt so fucking weak for it. The slightest environmental stressor could stress you out too much and move you to tears. You had no reason to be upset most of the time. But you would get angry at yourself for being upset, which would make you more upset that you couldn’t control it, making it harder to control.

It was a vicious cycle.

Lately it had been popping up more and more recently. Smaller things were upsetting you more than usual. You were becoming more sensitive to external stimuli and as a result, you spent as much time as you could in your room. You were embarrassed by yourself. Both by your emotions and by your inability to control them. 

This time you were just upset that you were upset. It had been a long night the day prior, just a lot of paperwork to do. There had been a mission earlier this week that you hadn’t been assigned to, but it had been brutal for everyone who had gone. So far today had been a normal day by anyone’s terms, an emotionally exhausting one for you. One of those where you woke up tired and the thoughts of another day were enough to draw you to tears. Nothing had even happened, but apparently nothing needed to happen. 

Your emotions came and went without your consent. 

You knew deep down it was probably some sort of emotional build up - that whole quote about bottling things up until they got to be too much - it happened every time but you still thought you could handle yourself better than that. You didn’t want to vent or be a problem to anyone. But when you are the emotional support for most of the team and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep or take time for yourself - you didn’t have much of a say as to when the bottle overflows.

A few more tears fell and you slammed your hand on the counter, wiping your tears angrily once more. “God fucking damn it why can’t you just stop fucking crying!” you exclaimed, feeling a few more tears falling “Weak piece of shit!” 

There was knocking on the door, pulling you out of your self deprecating thoughts. You gasped lightly, wiping your face again. 

Knock knock

You jumped a little, gasping slightly. No one was supposed to be here, it was the middle of the night. 

“Y/n? What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”

You took a shaky breath. Of course it would be Bucky who heard you. Why would it be anyone else?

“I’m fine Bucky, it’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Then why are you still awake?” Bucky responded. You heard him sigh a little outside the door. “Come out here and tell me you’re okay.”

“Really Bucky?”

“Unless you want me to come in there, but I don’t think Stark would appreciate me breaking your door.”

You took a small breath and walked over to the door, opening it. You crossed your arms and met Bucky’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine, Bucky.”

Bucky sighed, taking in your appearance. Red eyes, flushed face, your hair was messy - you were definitely crying. He hated when you wouldn’t admit that you weren’t ok. “You know you don’t have to be, right?”

You clenched your jaw, trying to keep fresh tears from clouding your vision. “What?”

“You say you’re fine, you always say that you’re fine until you break. I heard you crying, I can see that you’re not feeling okay yet still you try to keep a brave face. And I just want you to know that you don’t have to always be okay.”

You let out a breath. “I - i…” you looked down and shook your head, lost for words. 

“Y/n, I’m not here to judge you. Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” you said looking up at him “It’s literally so stupid, Bucky.”

“Y/n, nothing you say right now is going to sound stupid. 

You shrugged your shoulders, still not quite meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, I just get so worked up sometimes, but it’s stupid. I tell myself I’m not going to be bothered and then I freak out again. The smallest things bother me and I get stressed out and then I cry like some stupid weak bitch. People have it worse than me, God, you have it worse than me. Everyone here has some sort of traumatic awful thing happen to them and then there’s me and I get sad because I see other people sad,” you were crying again and you wiped at your face, covering your eyes. “God Im so fucking stupid I -”

Bucky pulled you into his chest as you let out a sob. “You’re not stupid, y/n.”

“YES I AM. I get worked up over the smallest shit, I don’t listen when people tell me to take breaks, I take everything too personally and I can’t stop fucking crying when I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong!” you exclaimed, trying to push yourself away, ashamed.

Bucky held you tightly, not letting you go. “That’s not your fault. It’s not up to you how your feelings show up.”

“But I cry at the most stupid shit and I can’t control it.”

“You’re not supposed to know how to control it,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Emotions can’t be controlled. They just happen and it’s rarely convenient.”

“Then why do I feel so weak? If this,” you gestured to yourself “is so goddamn normal then why isn’t everyone else breaking down every other day?” 

Bucky brushed some hair out of your face. “Your emotions are yours, no one else’s. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. Think of it this way - you can’t expect everyone to have the same amount of strength or stamina - no one has the same emotional response either. And that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you you.”

You shook your head. “I just feel so weak all the time.” 

“And I’m here to remind you that crying isn’t weak. You are not a weak person, you are not a bad person, you’re not any of those things your mind tells you. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You put your heart into everything you do. You help everyone you can. Mourning someone else’s loss isn’t weakness. It’s called empathy.”

You took a small breath. “Then why does it hurt so goddamn much?”

“”I don’t know. And I can’t say for certain that you won’t always feel that way. But I know I can tell you that you aren’t weak, and I’ll be here every time you feel that you are.” 

You nodded your head slightly. “You don’t think I’m weak?” you asked quietly.

He pulled you back into a hug. “Not in the slightest, y/n.”