#birthday was lose. Sure as hell got a lot on my mind now that I'm 19. Not oversharing about that though

[blimbo-buddy]

”Damn I’ve been feeling kind of shitty about what I went through when I was 15-16. I wonder if there’s a way to get all these feelings out besides therapy”

SpottedLeaf and Anya:

[shygirl4991]

Next Step With You Chapter 1 High Rollers of affection

Cover made by @lizaluvsthis Chapter art done by @b-r-i-n-g-x do not repost! A Reboot of the next step! Next chapter Summary: SMG4 and SMG3 relationship changed after realizing their feelings in WOTFI 2023, now together the pair can take the next step together. That is until a strange gift arrives on SMG3's birthday making him face his demons from his past. 

Tags: Fluff, Boyfriends, Love Confession, Watch Wotfi 2023 before reading, first love, mention of igloo

SMG4 was giggling as he played club penguin, it was surprisingly a normal day given yesterday SMG3 snap after they failed to stop Mario from taking his notebook. Knowing Mario as long as he has there was no way he was keeping the notebook, given how peaceful it is, the notebook should be back in Three’s hand in no time.  He thought too soon as the door to his room flys open to reveal a panicked SMG3 “SMG4!! MARIO STOLE MY NOTEBOOK! I NEED YOUR HELP GETTING IT BACK!” he starts to wave a photo of the notebook at him.

He was facing Three in his computer chair, annoyed and surprised at the fact that Mario kept his notebook “Pfft It's just a notebook, get a new one.” Four wasn’t sure what the big deal was. He knew it meant a lot to the man but losing the notebook doesn't mean the world will end. Three walks in the room visibly nervous “It’s not just any notebook it's got secrets,” he drops to his knees making Four get nervous “Including…” he looks around “Secrets about you and me, and certain events in an igloo.” SMG4's face goes pale as the hidden memory unlocks. The need for food, how they both needed warmth though Three was stubborn and rather die there then cuddle him for warmth. They both thought they were going to die, with this thought in four’s mind he looks at SMG3 he did find him attractive so why the hell not. The event that follows haunts the pair as they agreed to never talk about it again. Remember everything he screams jumping out of the chair “WE GOTTA GET THAT NOTEBOOK!” 

After that he runs out of the room to ask a casual question to Melony leaving Three to nervously sit in the room, seeing the man return he runs up to him grabbing his overall straps “What did you learn?” Slowly pulling away from the man he goes to sit on his computer chair “So Melony told me she noticed Mario taking something to some billionaire tycoon which has to be the notebook,” he points to a photo that Melony took of the location “and they both are inside this brand new casino. Its exact location? The CEO office.” SMG4 starts to type something on his computer, using the software Melony used to hack the cameras he connects to one in a safe showing them drilling into the notebook. He was warned that the place was tough to hack and not to stay on the cameras for long, shame they can't hack the cameras down would have made this situation easier.  Seeing the drills on his notebook Three chuckles “That’s right, that idiot Mario still needs my secret key to open it!”

Four nods wondering what the key could be as he starts to type in the program “Well..it's not just Mario that's behind this…he’s too stupid to do this on his own.” as he switches cameras Three could only watch in shock that Marty was the one truly behind everything.  Why a living cardboard meme that Mario made wants SMG3 notebook Four had no idea, given how badly  it wants in the notebook it has to be something huge. “MARTY!? THAT PIECE OF CARDBOARD CRAP IS BEHIND THIS?!?” glaring at the screen he takes out dynamite from his pocket. He throws the dynamite in the air and catches it with a smirk causing SMG4 to smile without noticing “Lets just break in and take it then!” after that he starts to run off only for Four to grab him “Slooow down cowboy.” he throws Three down getting a growl from the man.  SMG4 then points to another camera view on the screen “We can't just go in there guns blazing. This place is heavily guarded, I'm talking about state of the art security that will blow our asses up the moment we get detected.” he wanted this notebook back fast but they had to play their cards right. SMG3 slowly blinks looking at the picture on the screen “SMG4..this is just a picture of Mario.” 

Four nods pointing at Three “Exactly! So we’ll need to be sneaky and cunning about this! Who knows what that stupid fat Italian has up his sleeve.” After hours planning and Three fighting about Fours idea on letting his subscribers pick how to get his notebook back it was the day of the heist. SMG3 smirks, fixing his fedora and tie “Alright looking fresh!” he winks and snaps his fingers making Fours stomach flip. Something that has been happening ever since the pair became friends, he wasn't sure why it only happens around Three after days of thinking on the subject he assumed it had to do with their link and lived on ignoring the way his heart would race when being near the man. With their spy rizz outfits on they walk to the casino, SMG4 was smiling and waving at the crowd not noticing the loving look Three was giving him. You could ask Three why he was looking at the man like that and you can bet his answer will have nothing to do with how charming he found the man's outfit to be. They walk into the casino with no issue, SMG3 smiles getting ready for the mission only to hear someone humming. Turning he sees SMG4 sneaking as he hums the theme from Mission Impossible, letting out  a sigh as he walks up to the man smacking him “Dude, stop it.” four frowns and looks down agreeing to stop. 

“Hey!” the pair jumps hearing Mario’s yelling, they turn to see Mario checking everyone coming into the casino. He then pointed at his brother demanding answers, the pair watch as Mario lets Luigi in only to burn him alive for letting out a cough. They slowly turn to each other, nervous about what they just saw before Three shakes himself out of it, they had a mission no time to get cold feet.  “Alright, what the hell are we doing here?” hearing Three’s voice, Four looks at their watch to see what was voted. They both nod at the result and put on clown masks getting ready to scare the Italian man, they sneak up to him and start making loud sounds to scare him. Mario slams the table making the men nervous as he gets closer to them as he checks them both out then focuses on SMG4 “Your color schemes look awfully familiar..”

The more Mario stares at Four the more anxious Three feels, then he sees Mario start to drool and reach out to Four. He wasn't sure what was going on with Mario but he was sure it was something stupid and he had to stop him “THATS IT WERE WALKING THROUGH!” he pushes Four causing the mask to fall off. They all stay silent staring at the mask before SMG4 turns to mario “uhh i can explain..”  Mario screams, surprising the men “AHHHH A SCARY CLOWN!” SMG4 frowns seeing his best friend run from him, Three throws the mask off “Hey works for me, lets go.” he was going to walk away before four grabbed him “Am…am i really that horrific to look at?” Three felt himself blush as four looked up at him with puppy eyes. He looks away sighing “You look like how you always did, a shit head with a huge ego now can we go?” Four pouts at the comment before moving forward. 

They stand in the main lobby looking around to see the cameras in the lobby. “Great…Mario must be surveilling the place intensely, we have to shut off those security cameras.” they nod as they look at the watch. Their eyes go wide seeing the vote that won “Uh heh maybe the watch counted the votes wrong,” Four smacks the watch hoping the choice will change. SMG3 sighs seeing the panic four was going through, he looks around and smirks as he walks over to a booth asking for a song change for the lobby. Four sighs finally admitting defeat then starts to think “Do a sexy dance? How do I even pull that off? Is there a meme dance that could come off as sexy?” 

That's when Three grabs his arm pulling him close to his body, SMG4's face turns completely red seeing how close they are “T-Three?” the man moves Fours hand on his shoulder while holding the other one “Your dumb subscribers did the vote lets get this over with so we can get my notebook, follow my lead!” He then placed his hand on Fours lower back causing the man’s heart to start racing. SMG3 makes sure that Four was pressed against his body before moving, Four did his best to follow the steps that the other man was doing.Then tango music started to play making Fours eyes go wide “How is the tango a sexy dance?” SMG3 kept moving to the music then smirks “That idiot seems to get off with us being gay, so if he catches us this close dancing he will freak and knowing that idiot he will end up breaking something!” Four nods understanding where his partner was coming from. As they dance, Three picks up speed as Four attempts to keep focus on his steps, his mind starting to fill with strange thoughts. As he dances his eyes slowly drop to SMG3 lips those thoughts start to play louder in his head, he wants to kiss the man right there and the thought causes him to miss a step. 

Mario catches the dance on the camera and zooms in his eyes pops out as he sees the pair, he knows he should have hit the alarm but the close dance made him want to cheer the two in hopes they finally get together. Seeing Four missing the step Three takes the chance to do a final hit on Mario, dipping SMG4 he leans in close, pressing his forehead against the other man making it look like they kissed on the cameras. Four held his breath at how close they were, while Three was looking into Four’s eyes. A strange feeling hit them both, they were on a mission they had to get the notebook and yet Four couldn't help slowly moving his hand to the back of Three’s head. It was the perfect moment to kiss each other, something they both wanted at the moment, only to be broken out of the spell hearing Mario scream in excitement and blowing up all the cameras. SMG3 lifted up Four and smiled seeing that the mission was a success “Great! Let's go!” SMG4 watches Three walks ahead acting as nothing has happened, was he the only one that felt that spark. He follows Three, his thoughts filled with what happened. He takes out his phone and starts to search his feelings. Distracted Four agreed to a plan that Three made without knowing what it was about, his eyes widened as he read what the results showed “A deep romantic connection..me and Three?” he looks up to realize he missed what he had to do and Three was now being taken by Swag and Chris. Four panicked and was going to save Three only to feel something heavy hit him, knocking him out cold. 

He opens his eyes and look around the room confused only to see Mario pop up in front of him “Hello mother fucker!” seeing the plumber he starts to scream which woke up Three making him also scream. He turns to see Three was tied down, panic starts to build up inside of him thinking of what they could do to the man. Mario chuckles as he approaches Three “Mario?? LET US GO DUDE!” He was hoping that his call out would bring the man back to him.  Sadly the man he is growing a romantic attraction to was SMG3 “AND GIVE ME MY NOTEBOOK BACK YOU ASS!” Mario smirks at the tied up Three making Four wiggle against his restraints. “I’ve been waiting for this! We finally got them, didn't we Marty?” Marty sighs and agrees with Mario, he was annoyed that the plumber let them get away once and was lucky the spies got distracted. Mario turns his attention back to Three “Just give us the key to your notebook SMG3! We’ve tried everything but it wont open yet!” This was all Four's fault for searching on his phone, the guilt was eating him as he watched the scene play out in front of him. Three gives Four a soft look before gaining back his snarky personality “NEVER! I’ll never tell!”

Mario lets out a chilling laugh that caught both men's attention, he takes his phone out smirking, he hits play and starts showing cringe memes to Three. Their avatar knows them too well and had the perfect videos to make Three cringe, the more videos played the more he saw the man break to the point he started shedding tears “NOOO! HE CANT TAKE IT! LET HIM BE!”  Mario grins as he pulls up one last video the moment SMG3 sees it he screams. Four’s eyes flicker yellow as he looks around the room “Come on four think of something worse than what SMG3 is dealing with right now!” he focuses on all the cringe he has seen on the internet till he shrivels up from it. Now free from the rope he runs towards Mario he can hear Three about to break “Hey ass!” catching Mario’s attention he throws Eggdog out, the pup attacks the plumber while he runs to untie Three. The moment he unties Three he starts to shout “IM FREE! IM FREE!” rolling his eyes he grabs the man pulling him off the table to run out of the room with Eggdog following. 

As they leave room Three turns shaking Four “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?” Four frowns looking down, he starts to play with the button of his vest. “I was feeling strange so…i wanted to look up what was going on because it was distracting.” SMG3 lets four go and sighs giving him a quick look up and down before nodding “you seem fine now, just we are a team talk to me.” He didn't know what to do, Three was rarely this soft and now knowing the strange emotion he has been ignoring is he could feel his heart racing. Taking a deep breath he grabs Three's hand “If my viewers make the choices that land us in green, I have something I need to tell you.” They looked in each other's eyes, seeing how serious four looked the man nodded before they moved forward. 

The pair were losing it after being chased by Mario and ending up in a game show forcing them to watch what happened to them in the igloo. After that the pair found Depresso and used him as a distraction to get ready to fight the plumber in which Three was surprised to see Four was good at fighting the avatar out without breaking a sweat. Now they opened the door and were standing across the safe with their prize. Three was going to walk only to be stopped by Four, he then pulls out baby powder and blows it revealing lasers in the room. “Yep, just as I expected! These lasers will probably explode if we touch them.” SMG3 looked at the bottle then back at Four “Why do you have baby powder?” SMG4 sighs “I have a sensitive ass!” with awkward nods they both turn to focus on the lasers.  SMG4, seeing the results, smirks “Watch this!” SMG3 watched in awe as he watched the meme guardian front flip, avoiding all the lasers and making it to the other side. He hits the button and winks at his crush making Threes face red “What are you waiting for we got a notebook to save!” 

That moment SMG3 wished he had his notebook to doodle the moment he saw, though he was sure those flips and wink will haunt his mind all day. They cheer getting into the safe only to be stopped by Marty and Mario, together with their meme power they manage to put a stop to the pair and grab the notebook. After more attempts by Marty and Mario to stop them, the pair escape and win the day with their watches landing on green. Four smiles seeing how happy Three was, then he looks at the watch nervously knowing what he has to do soon. Hours later they announced to the subscribers that thanks to them they saved the notebook, Three was so happy to get it back he started to smooch the book making Four giggle. After teasing SMG3 about why he was building a new evil lair right next to his castle he lets out a small yawn, who knew doing a heist could take so much out of you.  “Speaking of cafes…I’m dead tired.” he gives his partner a small smile “Lets have some coffee.”  For the first time since they have known each other things felt peaceful, maybe it was them both being drained from the heist or maybe this whole event brought them closer together. He remembers back a few weeks ago how SMG1 and two told them they had to get along in order for their powers to get stronger, all that event did was give him work to tell the world how they two weren't together due them being caught holding hands thanks to Marios gum. 

SMG3 perks up hearing his words “Now we’re talkin!” walking together they sit on a pile of wood  waiting to become a part of SMG3 cafe, SMG4 smiles looking at the sunset as SMG3 starts doing their coffee. They smile at each other doing a small cheer as they clink their

cups together and drink, as SMG4 enjoys the warmth of the coffee he notices SMG3 writing in his notebook with a huge smile "What are you writing?" he knew he wasn't going to get an answer but it wasn't going to hurt him to ask you never know what mood SMG3 is in.

He smirks and turns away "I'll never tell!" SMG3 makes sure the other cant see the drawing he is doing of them both with cups of coffee.

With a giggle he nods "Don't worry i wont push it," as he looks back at the sunset his heart starts to beat faster. This would be the perfect moment wouldn't it? He had to admit the closer they got the harder it was for him to keep his feelings in check. When he hears the notebook close he decides now is the time with one last gulp of the coffee he turns to SMG3 "You know...this heist got me thinking,” 

SMG3 sips his coffee and stares at his partner "What that we should be full time spies, cause i'm not a fan of the idea of your fans telling me how to live my life," SMG4 shakes his head with a small chuckle "No, nothing like that...just we make a good team don't we?"

He keeps staring at SMG4 feeling confused on what was going on with the man next to him, seeing this SMG4 sighs feeling himself blush. "You know...people ship us together...and uh with all that's happened to us i started to wonder...." he had no idea what he was doing. Every TV show he has seen made confessions look easy, even Axol made it look sweet and easy with the manga he was making before everything.

SMG3's eyes go wide as he also starts to blush "Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden, idiot!!"

SMG4 closes his eyes "WHAT IF WE MAKE IT CANON!?"

Everything was dead silent, he was nervous to open his eyes to see how SMG3 was looking at him. Finally he hears a whisper "you....what?" Slowly he opened his eyes to see a stun SMG3, his face was as red as his eyes, it almost made SMG4 giggle for how cute it was to see him like that. "I..well i like you i figured it out today when we were on the heist, so i was wondering if maybe we can try...the next step?"

SMG4 started to get worried he broke the man for how long it took for him to move again, he watches as SMG3 stares at the floor then his notebook. His heart sank, did the guardian not feel the same as him?

SMG3 gets up and stands in front of him "Fine, i guess i...i like you too! But don't let it get to your head...Baka!"

SMG4 lights up, standing up and hugging him, ignoring the heat on his face, Three hugged his boyfriend back. They separated and gave each other a small smile before Four spoke up “Need a place to crash till the cafe is done..you can stay with me till then.” SMG3 looks at the castle then his hand thinking about the graveyard, staying here they both could figure out this new step easier then him in another location “Yeah that could work..but can we keep this thing with us on the down low not sure i'm ready for the idiots to learn about us.” with a nod they both slowly reach for each other's hand and let out nervous giggles. Now holding hands the pair walk into the castle to move SMG3 in,Little did they know a shadow was watching them from a distance growling at what they just saw. 

2/6/24 date written

[jennrypan]

Got any headcannon to our lovely superstar johnny cage

Hm let's see..Haven't got much that everyone else doesn't already think

First and foremost. He is bi but I think this is a universal FACT fr.

He's a service top/ switch. He's down for whatever fr. (He's needy, whimpers and will be mouthy cuz ofc ofc)

He loves kids, like he likes acting in front of them and putting on little shows to make them laugh.

He WILL make people watch all the movies he's referenced. Like full on marathons at his house so they can understand what the hell he's talking about and just cuz he thinks they'll like the movies. He'll specifically find movies he thinks his friends will like and puts it on.

His love language is gift giving and acts of service <3 oh you like that thing over there?? I GOTCHU. You want me to give you a piggy back ride? I GOTCHU

He's the type to whine and complain if his partner leaves without kissing him goodbye. Boy is dramatic and WILL make it their problem, texting them things like: 'You left without kissing me :(? I'm hurt, I'm literally dying 💔 ' 'Bby are you mad at me :((?'

He gives GREAT hugs. Like full on chest to chest, holding you close cuz he's affectionate and things everyone could use a hug fr (his tits are huge and so are his biceps, you WILL get a hug)

I'm thinking his powers were giving to him by Shang Tsu in the MK 1 timeline. By ACCIDENT. Like when they were fighting to get Mileena back to normal he accidentally gets some of the guys weird shit on his arm and to anyone that isn't Earthrealm it would've burned them or something and instead it just stung him and it was like a mild itch until suddenly..he had those green plasma blasts at the end of MK 1?? And Shang Tsung was mad as hell when he found out cuz now this annoying Earth realmer has abilities 💀

Likes when his partners wear his stuff. Like yes!! That's my jacket!! That's my shirt!! Hell yeah!

He likes cats and would own a Maine Coon and call it Cage Jr. (Idc idc I'm projecting, give my boy a cat)

Favorite colors are Green, Red, Gold and pink . He likes flashy colors

He didn't have many friends growing up cuz people thought he was too loud and obnoxious so when he meets Lui Kang and Co he LATCHES on (abandonment issues :)) ) he wants to hang out whenever they can, he talks about them all the time cuz they're his new besties

(Especially Kenshi 👀)

He snorts when he laughs <3

Sleeps in his boxers or nothing at all so..watch out for that.

He knows a lot of random ass facts about all the things he buys. (People think he just buys things to spend money but nah he's a dork who researches random artifacts and has them to make sure they're taken care of)

He will FREQUENTLY bug Bi-Han about that statue he broke and will terrorize him about it, and Bi-Han will just about lose his mind in rage cuz this Earth Realmer is irking him

He visits his moms grave on her birthday all the time without fail and WILL get agitated if someone tries to stop him or tell him he has prior commitments (unless someone else is dying or something extremely serious is happening..like his child being born maybe 👀 you'll wait til he comes back)

He writes in cursive!! He learned cursive from his mom and knows how to write fast from experience of signing things. (He's also a fast reader cuz he's gotta read his contracts to know nothing fishy is happening)

Annnd that's what I got so far--

[papa-evershed]

Hellooooo! Here’s me crashing into your ask box to wish you a very happy, happy birthday!

I thought I’d ask you if you can remember some specific scenes/moments from a show and/or movie that triggered your “Oh, I need to gif this IMMEDIATELY!” desire.

And please do go ham on your reply, you know very well how much I enjoy them.

Have an amazing day! 🧡

Hey!!! I fucking love you! I don't know how the hell you manage to to do everything you do, but now you've gone and inspired me to start a fandom-friends birthday calendar. 😂😂 I legit admire how you always reach out to people and remember everyone!! But thank you so much for the birthday wishes, it's been a pretty good day so far so I can't complain! 🥰

As for moments I just had to gif?! There's been a fuck ton throughout the years and the men. 😅I'll answer under a cut for length and lets see what all my old lady brain can remember. 👵 I apologize in advance for how long this could potentially get and just how random the gifs probably are. I never feel inspired to gif cool scenes with witty dialogue, I just gif for thirst reasons because I'm a dumpster of a human. ETA: It got really long and didn't even scratch the surface tbh.

For Rob, I'll start with this one. I feel like I post it every time someone asks me about my favorite gifs or moments but listen, that man's god damn belly makes me feral. The context of the scene is also just peak Dad™ for me so it was 10000/10, absolutely had to gif this the second I watched:

This is an interview but you know when you first start checking out a new dude and you see gifs from interviews/shows where they look particularly tasty and you're immediately like I must find this and watch it or else I will perish. That was this interview for me. And how could it not be? Again...BELLY. Hairy belly. Just big, soft, delicious man meat. And thighs. As soon as I found it I had to gif it for myself so I could make it as obnoxiously big as humanly possible.

I watched this zoom live and the moment this motherfucker turned his head my brain said "gif it". Profile? Nose? Greys?

And this shot too. This man was fucking born to smile, he puts his whole ass into it.

This. His arms here. This scene was dark af but I knew I had to gif it anyway. I adore the shape of this man. It feels so fucking real to me. Soft belly, sizeable arms that still look natural. It's realistic, it's comfy, it's fucking sexy. He's just fucking man-shaped.

I don't even have to tell you why because I know you get it.

I'm an American what do you want from me? 🤡 I'm just kidding, it's not because of the gun. 😅IDK if you've watched Downton, but Thomas is just such a fucking capable man. There isn't a task they set him to that he doesn't excel at and I just felt like it was always overlooked and underappreciated by everyone around him. That shot and scene inspired an entire gifset I made about him being a man of many talents.🤓

I can't even explain it, I just knew I needed it. He just looks so man sized. And fuzzy. Just...go off daddy.

You and I both know I'd suck a dick for a good profile shot. The greys, the nose, the man...👀

I can't post all the gifs from this scene/episode so I'll settle for this one. But I knew immediately I'd be giffing it until my fingers hurt (that legit happens y'all, I'm old 👵) Not only did he spend some time in this episode being the soft, caring uncle but he did it in a cozy sweater and it was like they were sure to hit all my weaknesses at once. Soft cozy men? 👀Then they were kind enough to give us the most beautiful close-up shots of his face. And the boy just has a beautiful fucking face.

For old times' sake, I'm gonna include some Jon just for you but to be fair, I liked him for seven damn years so there were a lot. Too many to list or even remember. But here's a few that maybe aren't the obvious shots!

This one. I remember everyone losing their shit over his ass but I was losing my mind over that "soft flash of belly" (really, I was always fangirling the hardest over scenes where Jon looked softer than he really was so we shouldn't be shocked I eventually left for a man with a beer belly 😅)

Speaking of which, this scene too!

And of course, anytime he was covered in blood. I think I actually giffed this exact shot 5 or 6 different times.

And, the obligatory back of his head shot. There are so many here I could post because pretty much anytime I saw the back of Jon's head I immediately needed a gif of it but we'll go with this one, it was probably slept on a little bit.

Alright this is long enough! Bless anyone for reading this long. 😳 But legit, thanks for the fun ask and for the birthday wishes, Stef! 🥰🥰 Your kindness is one of the reasons I will always appreciate having been in Jon's fandom!

[oh-a-very-toxic-octopus]

The final Prison House build post! A follow-up to the gutting, landscaping and redooring posts.

There's a bit more of this build I did solo:

I built out from the original walls and roof with CLS to create space for wiring and insulation and to provide support for what would be my built-in desk.

Then uh got an electrician in, obviously. For the other bits. That require an electrician.

These lights belch out 4000 lumens each, which is pretty important to me as someone who loses her shit if things aren't brightly lit. Yes I use light mode on everything. Come the fuck at me.

I struggled magnificently with soloing anything that remained, not least because everything was heavy/above my head. Jim stepped in to take lead, partly because I'd helped with his office, partly because I was growing violent having to work from the living room sofa, and mostly as a birthday present.

Am I brittle about this? Yes slightly. In my mind, I was gonna finish Prison House myself. But 1) even as "hold this up there" labourer I was still heavily involved and 2) he is fast as fuck and has an incredible eye for detail, so I'm sure the end result worked out prettier than it might have otherwise.

So here's the rest:

The back wall in place! With glue! And then Stormlite so we wouldn't have to plaster! And a ceiling made of pine tongue-and-groove!

I did some painting in the night. Creatively, and unlike everyone else I know, I chose green.

I met several moths during this process, including a massive fox moth.

Left: the windowsill improved with ceiling off-cuts. Right: the desk supports. They're scaffolding poles left over from the time we used scaffolding poles to fence Max's poop field.

We'd stored a piece of worktop for probably eighteen months during the main house build, and finally got to use it now.

Three cuts, two coats of oil and an exceedingly long surge-protected power strip. It's been several months and I'm still in love with the industrial look of those wildly OTT poles and brackets. You can't really see them unless you stoop to look.

Here's the flooring and skirting board going in.

Mistakes were made with the flooring, if I'm honest. In the original post, back when this wasn't going to be a major project and Jim was ultimately going to reclaim it as a motorbike lock-up, you'll see I laid a load of soft matting to cover up the old roughed-up surface. We didn't rip that shit out. Always rip it out. There's compression in the foam still, which means the floor dips a little under pressure, and I think that'll ultimately lead to premature failure, especially as I bought the world's cheapest bargain bucket double-discounted clip-together boards.

Anyway, once that was in, it was time to add the woodburning stove we picked up in this old post.

I picked up some old flue pieces from FB marketplace and then we tried to figure out how the hell to slot it all together, roughing positions with a piece of old pipe.

This was in September, when we should have been done and well onto the final prep for Morocco, so we rushed like hell and I took few progress pics. Therefore not pictured: a lot of cutting, swearing, and buying heat-proof everything to make it all fit together. But it did fit together! I want to find another length of pipe to bring it to the proper height to stop it backdrafting, but as we're into spring now, I've got time.

Everything installed and complete:

[trippingintoadream]

When I was a kid, my father had become good friends with a women who had a child several years younger than I. We'd been neighbors briefly in a small town apartment that was a short living arrangement for both families.

They stayed in contact for the next few years, she would visit with her kid. Her daughter's name was Maya. And no I'm not revealing lots of info. After all I can't remember their last name or the mothers name..... but Maya was like my little sister for years going in and out of my life. Sometimes she'd be dropped off for a weekend, or a week. Sometimes her mother stayed over as well.

My father insists that he wasn't dating her. But my older sister and I had some doubts.

But the women changed phones now and then and didn't have social media. Eventually she had to go to a drug recovery center or something. Her daughter, from what I last heard, went to live with her grandmother. I haven't seen Maya for a long time. I remember her seeing me make a dream catcher and really liking it. So I made her one and used letter beads dangled from a string to put her name on it.

I never got to give her that present. It wasn't done the last time I'd seen her. And then I'd never seen her again.

I haven't seen her since I was maybe a preteen? She was a toddler when I was like 7 I think. I was really bad with ages back then. Hell I still have shitty memory for names and ages now.

But I've hated that I couldn't contact her after that. My family moved again after losing contact with the mother. I mean we lost contact with her years ago and I begged my father to try and contact her, just to find out if Maya was okay. But he couldn't since she switched phone numbers from time to time. She was the one who knew his number, that didn't change.

So for the past 7 or so years, I've regretted not finishing the dream catcher in time to give it to her. I've regretted not writing their last name down when I may have known it. Although I'm not sure I ever actually did.

I have a younger half sibling. That I didn't get to grow up with. So in my mind, I have two little siblings I've failed.

I doubt Maya even remembers me, she was really young. I wish I remembered her exact age, I wish I rembered her birthday, I wish I had more time with her. Because she was family.

I'll likely never see her again.

Some odd joke from the world that I didn't get to see either of them grow up, right?

I've missed so much from their lives. I'm in contact with my younger half sibling now. I'd gotten to spend time with them probably a few years after I'd lost the chance to see Maya again. But i rarely see them. And I don't know how to show that I care and that I want to get to know them.

Perhaps I'm not made to be an older sibling. Not like my older sister who looked after me for so long.

They both mean a lot to me, and I harbor logs of guilt about it.

Guilt about being able to see Maya's younger years and not my half sibling's as well. Missing Maya's preteen years but getting to finally see my half sibling in their own preteen years.

Now I'll get to see my half sibling grow up, from a distance because I don't know how to get closer.

And I have no way of ever finding Maya again. Much less knowing if she ever wanted to see us again or if she missed us as well.

But in my heart they're both my younger siblings.

My Dad used to say that my older sister and I behaved better and all that whenever Maya was around, I don't remember trying to. But apparently he'd told us to try and be good role models and we did. We cleaned up after ourselves more and weren't as bratty. We took turns with games better and all that.

But I don't think its cause he told us to be good role models. I think it's cause we cared.

Me and my sister have always cared deeply about things and latched on in our own way. I think she was a bit dependent on her partner emotionally because of that. Not that I've mentioned it to her. I'm always afraid if I anger her she'll drop me out of her life. She learned to cut ties as a teenager for her own mental health and I've always been one of the biggest stresses in her life.

I know logically I'm such a stress point cause she cares about me, and not because I'm purposely causing trouble like other relatives or past friends she's had. So she probably won't just kick me to the curb emotionally or mentally.

But I still worry. Because I've already managed to lose a sibling to the world through loss of contact. And another to my faulty nature of not understanding people and lack of social abilities to get to know people properly.

So maybe I've latched onto her. Well not maybe. We are well aware that I have. She was my social shield whenever we went to visit family for our whole childhood after all.

So I'm glad she doesn't hate me.

And I hope that the younger two can forgive me for failing them.

Well I guess this is all I have to say for now, oversharing on the internet. I know I'm not supposed to use real names. That's why Maya is the only name I mentioned. Because sometimes I hope she'll read sometime I said online and find me since I couldn't find her. And if she ever does, sorry about oversharing things about you and your mother. I'm pretty sure I left every other identifiable piece of info out but your name. Internet safety and all that jazz. This way it's not actually dangerous. A single first name that thousands of people have.

It really is a shame that I don't remember her last name. I ask my father every few years if he can remember it because I'd check for if she has a social media account. But I guess that's never happening huh?

[thewomanwhoboughttheworld]

Who am I

Hello to everyone who wants to read this silly little introduction (which will be ongoing, as I may forget something or want to add something in the future). I'd just like to tell y'all who I am and, let's be honest, to have a place in which I can easily reach things I've published.

This will probably be boring, I already know that, but let's still put it out there. Ongoing post, as I may be adding something more as things come to mind.

So, the basics:

I'm V. or Val, your choice.

I'm a she/her.

I'm cis, asexual and I don't want to define my romantic orientation - if I have to, I'd say queer romantic.

I was born in 1995, so I'm definitely an adult and definitely that confused generation between Millennials and Gen Z. I still consider myself a Millennial, tho.

My big three are Sagittarius sun (birthday is on 14/12), Sagittarius rising, Virgo Moon.

I'm Italian, so English isn't my first language.

However, I have a BD in Foreign Languages and Literatures and a MD in Music, Film and Theatre.

I can speak four languages: Italian (first), English, German and French.

I'm learning Gàidhlig and Cymraeg on Duolingo!

I work in the theatre! Not an actor or something artistic, I work in the offices, but still!!

I like writing. I'm not very good or consistent, but sometimes I like to indulge in it. I want to try and occasionally write something here.

If you get to talk to me in my DMs, it won't be long until I start talking about my cats. That's it, I'm one of those terrible people whose first thought in the morning is their cats. I have three: one is a senior who, in July 2024, is turning 19, and the others are 7 and 4. My little spawns of Hell ♡

Dream holiday destination? Japan. I'm sure one day I'll have enough money to go there.

Something more about my likes and dislikes:

My favourite band is Queen. I love a lot of other bands, like The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd etc., but Queen will always hold a special place in my heart.

My favourite singer is David Bowie. As for Queen, I love a lot of singers - Queen members themselves, George Michael, Harry Styles... But Bowie's got that je ne sais quoi that makes him special. I even wrote my MD thesis on him.

I generally enjoy reading classics more than new books. I don't think reading classics makes you superior, I think it's just something that has to do with what you're used to and what resonates with you the most. After all, it's all a matter of personal taste!

My favourite genres I think are horror, gothic, science fiction and I don't know. I mean, if I see something I like, I will read it.

My favourite writer must be Stephen King, though I love Edgar Allan Poe unconditionally. I know they are both problematic in certain ways, but what can I do? I just lose myself in their pages, especially in King's books.

Now this could make people see me in a bad light, but I can't help what I feel. One of my favourite books, one of my comfort books is Stephen King's IT. I KNOW, I KNOW but bear with me. I know it's about an alien eating and unaliving children and I am well aware of how problematic that scene is. But I can't help loving The Losers, feeling like they're my friends too. I love how friendship is portrayed, how much emphasis is put on trust and love, and how humanity is depicted. It's better to cut it short because I could talk about this book for hours lmao.

Back to the light - hah, you wish - my favourite playwright is Bertolt Brecht.

Some of my favourite films: Labyrinth (THE David Bowie is just *chef's kiss*), Jesus Christ Superstar (have seen it on stage with Ted Neeley, I'm so in love with this musical I can't put it into words), Jojo Rabbit, Young Frankenstein.

Some of my favourite series: Glee (extremely problematic, but you have to understand I was the right age when it came out and it reminds me of my teenage years. I can't stop loving it), Good Omens, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Bojack Horseman, Happy Days, Stranger Things, Barry.

I may be a little too much in love with David Tennant, but I mean. Who isn't?

I will rage if anyone dares say anything disrespectful in regards to Henry Winkler. That man is too sweet for his own sake and I love him so much.

Master posts under here, so that I too can find it more accessible if I want to get there:

Good Omens headcanons, incorrect quotes, edits & co

Fanfictions

[poltergeist-coffee]

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

I hope you had a great day:D

I will finish that drawing, I WILL EVEN IF THAT'S THE LAST THING I DO

I don't have much to say right now but I hope everything is okay with you

And uh... remember when people were talking about the sins and making theories about it when the purgatory was announced ?

Maybe they were right

THEY POSTED A IMAGE OF QUACKITY WITH TILIN AND RICHAS AND JUST A TEXT THAT SAID "step II: envy" or something

I mean, you probably saw but I'm losing my mind

Why is Richas and Tilin there, don't hurt my babies PLEASE

But that Quackity's live in the Nether... man, Tilin just dropped the hardest lines that day

"You told me about paradise

But this is HELL

There is no paradise

Not for you"

I just noticed that with new eggs, it means I have more eggs to add to the list to make a desing

Not that I care because I already love them<3

I just have to find time to draw them

I don't know why they won't wear amour(or so I heard), but FOREVER COME BACK, WE NEED YOU TO MAKE THEM ROOMS IN THE NINHO

I CAN'T WATCH THEM DIE

At least they have two lives... right?(<- trying not to remember how 3 of the eggs died on the first days)

But uh... Yeah, EMPANA SAID SHE SPEAKS GERMAN AND NIKI IS GERMAN, RIGHT?

YEAAAAAH

I love Empanada so much

I'm glad Niki got a egg, I don't watch her a lot, but I did watch some of her content before the qsmp and I think she's great

She has a calm voice that is nice to hear

- 🍽

THANK YOOOUUUU ^W^ <33

i hope you're doing well too :DD hopefully school/finals haven't been too bad for you. My finals exam week is coming up soon TT in like a week or two...

i wasn't able to watch the Quackity live but i saw some people talk about it on twitter!! I saw people theorize that maybe Richas is greed? or some other sin but a lot of people agreed that Tilin is envy!! i also saw people saying that q!quackity must be dying/in a hospital bed and he's like... dreaming of tilin and richas when he was in the nether

i recently finished my egg designs for the newest kids >:DD i should probably post them...at some point... but i am shy sdajvnaksj i've loved seeing everyones different interpertatoins for the breakfast trio's designs :")) (i saw people refer to Em, Sunny and Pepito as the Breakfast Trio which i think is the cutest fucking thing ever TT)

NIKI IS SUCH A SWEETHEART >< I was so happy to see her get announced to be on the qsmp and seeing everyone love her so much :")) i don't watch her often but i love seeing people post about her. i hope that she gets to talk with Empanada in German a lot- and Chayanne!! I know chayanne can also speak german (at least one of his admins can? i'm not sure if he has a permenent admin now or if he's still being controlled by a few different ones....)

[freedpheonix]

So Many Signs

I should have listened. I should have listened to my mother and other friends and family when they told me they didn't like him and something wasn't right with him. Instead, I got overly defensive. Growing up I always thought my mom was "judgy" about other people, but now that I'm an adult with my own kids I know she was ALWAYS right. I wish I'd listened.

He made me believe he was truly a victim. That he was a good person and people just judged him for no reason and that he'd had a hard life. He convinced me his dad was controlling and mean and everyone was out to get him. I thought I could make it better. I thought I was a good person for seeing the light in the dark. It ended up just being the devil holding the torch to guide me to Hell.... Sounds so dramatic, but it's true. I got sucked in, despite all the signs, despite my gut feeling and my brain telling me it was wrong. The toxic dance of an empath and a narcissist.

We weren't together long and I had to move out of my apartment and in with my grandparents. They lived over an hour away from him and our relationship turned long-distance. I gradually heard from him less-and-less. He always had excuses why he couldn't visit me. Always blamed his father for not allowing him to come out, made up fake car problems, and more. He visited once every 2-3 months. He would say he was on his way out in the morning and not show up until 8 o'clock at night or later. Kept making up excuses about errands and stuff that kept him late. By the time he got there, he'd sit on the couch and nod out in front of everyone from the Methadone, then he had to leave in the early morning so he would make it in time for his next dose. I genuinely don't know what I was thinking back then. I felt out-of-control and constant anxiety about the relationship. I knew in my gut he was cheating with others but couldn't prove it. Then came the day I found out he changed his Facebook status to "single" after I hadn't heard from him for a week. He didn't say a word to me. Just started seeing someone else. Turned out, she was in her late thirties. She was almost 17 years older than him. I was devastated. A week later, I found out I was pregnant. I messaged and told him and his mother ended up messaging me about it. Then he started to threaten me, he said he wished I was dead and I was fat and ugly. He said a lot of disgusting things to me. He said when he saw me he was going to slit my throat and make sure there was no baby. There were a lot of nasty things said by he and his mother. I had to just avoid him and prepare to be a young, single mom of two. Weeks went by and I didn't have anything to do with him. I'd blocked him on social media and deleted his number. One day, out of the blue, he messaged me asking when he could see me to give me back some of movies. I was just starting to feel better and was happy with him out of sight, out of mind. It's like a radar went off that I was losing interest. I ignored that message, instead I got in touch with his mom about getting the rest of my stuff back. Again he messaged me asking why I talked to his mom and not him. He played innocent, saying I could still talk to him. I continued to ignore him. I focused on me and my daughter and trying to heal and grow... He kept texting randomly a hi here or there. One day he messaged me saying how sorry he was and how much he missed me. He said all the right things and I answered him back pretending to be indifferent. He feigned hurt. Me responding to him allowed him to work his way back in, and I thought things would be better. Hahaha. Ah. I really thought it would be better...

It was a few days later it was his birthday. He was acting distant again. Ignoring my messages, making up excuses about him being busy. He hadn't made any effort to visit me and we still weren't officially back together. He had added me back on Facebook and I was scrolling through my timeline and guess what I happened upon... lol he was "in a relationship" with that older woman. After sucking me back in and telling me we were getting back together. Again, I was blindsided. Deep in my gut, I knew he was still being shady but being the king manipulator he was he kept me where he wanted me. Before I confronted him, I sent her a message telling her what happened, how he said he was getting back with me all the while being with her and that I was pregnant. Next thing I knew, he was sending me angry and cruel messages about how I'm psychotic and he was never getting back with me again because I ruined his f***ing birthday. I was stupid, I was a liar, I was a psycho wh*re. It was all my fault that he wasn't going to talk to me again, etc... Again, he messed up and I was made to feel like I caused the problem. I knew it wasn't my fault and yet my brain still made me feel like it was.

I went back to getting used to the idea of being a single mom of two again. Got refocused, and started doing better. A little over a month goes by and I was healing. Here he comes again out of the blue asking how we are doing. I ignored him more, he messaged again. It's like the more I ignored him, the more of a challenge it was for him and he tried harder. I made the mistake of responding. Tried to act indifferent, like I didn't care. He tried harder. And thus, I got sucked in again with that apology. All the words he knew I wanted to hear. What an idiot.

At this point, I was starting to get spotting. A little bit, it wasn't much so I didn't think anything of it because I'd had some with my first daughter and she was born healthy. I went to go visit with my daughters family who had become my family. He didn't like that I was close with them despite all they'd done for me over the years. It wasn't about my daughter's father, we had really become family. He didn't see it that way. He came to pick me up and take me to stay at his father's while his father wasn't there. I had to leave before his father got home. He said he didn't want his dad to ask questions after all the drama between us and that he wanted to break it to his parents slowly that we were back together. Part of me agreed.

My grampy came to pick me up and bring me back home. The bleeding was starting to be slightly more than spotting but still wasn't a lot so I prayed and hoped it was nothing. Later that evening, I was sitting at the kitchen table with my Nana, cousin, and cousins boyfriend. I bent over to pet the dog and the blood just gushed out of me. It was like you see in the movies, and was horrifying for me. My grandmother helped me clean up and her and grampy brought me to the ER. It was confirmed, I'd had a miscarriage. I'd had a miscarriage when I was younger, before my first daughter. It was nothing like that one. It was worse. Maybe because this time I was 11 weeks and the first time I was only about 8 weeks along. Either way, it really depressed me. I didn't get pregnant on purpose, but once I was pregnant I was hoping it would help change him and make him better. When I told him what happened all he said was he was sorry. Didn't try to comfort me, didn't take it serious. He didn't even seem sad, I have no doubt he was relieved. And that realization hurt more..

Like I said before, looking back I feel so stupid. If my daughters were in this type of situation I'd be so upset and do everything to protect them. Granted I defended him, no one knew the true darkness because I loved him and it was humiliating for me. There's a true psychological explanation for this behavior but I can't help but feel like I could have done better for myself no matter how well it can be explained scientifically. It literally changes the hippocampus and amygdala parts of your brain. I know that, but I still feel guilt for not being "smarter." Even though I'm healthy now and have a good life and learned a HUGE lesson from this, I'm not sure that guilt will ever go away..

Stayed tuned, this is just barely beginning.

[tonberry-yoda]

Hello hello hello my darling dear! I was wondering if you could perhaps make do with my request?

It’s a Alastor (HH) x fem reader. The reader and Al were in a romantic relationship when they were alive back in the 1930’s (you can choose if she knew if he was a psycho or not). He was in his early thirties and the reader was around twenty, she was youthful and beautiful. Alastor died first in 1933 and arrived in Hell. Many years later the reader and Alastor met up again in the hotel. They talk and tell how much they missed each other, over their conversation Alastor tells the reader he wants to continue their relationship from where they left off. He asks if she still feels the same way for him (even though he’s a crazy radio demon now). The thing is for the reader while Alastor died when he was relatively young, the reader actually lived to see her 60th birthday. Her new form is much older then Alastor’s and it’s very obvious that she is self-conscious about her old age.

She tells Alastor yes, but look at her. She’s not the same young and beautiful dame she used to be and he looks just as young like how he was when he was alive. Surly he wouldn’t want to be some old lady, old enough to be in early retirement. How would Al react to his darling’s new inaccuracy? Thank you so much for your time and have a blessed day!

hello my dear! i absolutely adore this idea! writing for this radio demon is a lot of fun and takes a lot of creativity and this idea was amazing and so well put together, might I add! i hope you have an amazing day as well, my dear and hope you enjoy your request!

Never Even Apart - Alastor

Pairing - Alastor x f!reader

Warnings - none! (and i do understand that Alastor is aro and ace and i fully respect that, i just love writing for him! all of my love and respect to the aro and ace community!!!)

Word Count - 809

Notes - thank you so so so so much anon! ALSO THE HAZBIN NEWS AHHHH! it's apparently coming out in the summer of 2023 and i am currently losing my mind. (that's also why i wrote this today lol). i hope you enjoy anon! have a lovely day!! <3

It was a beautiful day, even considering that Alastor was in the pits of Hell. There were demonic birds chirping and the burning sun was greeting the hotel with a smile.

Alastor smiled as he did the dishes, humming himself a familiar tune. He knew something was missing from this new life, but he had learned to deal with it. Cope. That's all he had to do.

“Um, Alastor?” Charlie stuck her head in the room with a nervous smile. “There’s someone new I'd like to introduce you to.”

“Oh, just bring them in, doll. I'm a little busy right now.” He tightened his apron and began to hum louder.

“O-Okay,” Charlie stepped out of the kitchen. “I'll be right back.”

It was amusing. This whole hotel thing. It made Alastor entertained and that’s all that was important. Who knows, maybe this new member would entertain him too.

“Here she is, Alastor!” Charlie’s voice sounded nervous, but that was usual of her.

Alastor quickly dried his hands and turned around, his signature smile dropping immediately. It was… you.

He didn't notice that he had dropped a plate beneath him, quickly shattering on the kitchen floor.

“O-Oops!” Charlie giggled nervously and went to grab a dust pan.

“Charlie,” Alastor’s voice sounded different… less radio static involved. “I've got it. Do you mind leaving our new friend and I alone for a little bit?” His eyes didn't move from you once.

“S-Sure.” Charlie quickly left the room and you threw yourself onto him. How could you not recognize that handsome face? That voice? Those eyes?

Alastor quickly picked you up off of the ground and twirled you in a circle before setting you back down, locking his eyes to yours. “Doll… Is that really you?”

You nodded and grabbed Alastor’s clawed hands. “It is really me, Al.”

Your voice was just as soothing as he remembered.

“This can't be real…” He could feel his soulless eyes filling with tears. “Can it?”

You giggled and hugged him again. “I finally died, Al!”

He laughed at your dark joke and held you close. “How did it happen, love? Not dogs, I hope.”

You shook your head and breathed him in. He smelt just the same. Like musk and sweet cologne. “The mafia.”

Alastor laughed out loud and looked at you with a skeptical eyebrow. “The mafia?”

“Turns out they have a big problem with actors who sign their lives away to the illuminati. It's quite funny though, I was nearly retired.” You laughed softly at your own joke and sighed at your nearly wrinkled hands knowing for a fact that you had far too many smile lines and wrinkles on your forehead. Alastor looked so young and you looked so… old.

“Well at least you made it past thirty.” Alastor chuckled and hung up his apron that he untied from his body. “Now let's catch up, dear. Pull up a chair will you?”

---

You know that you sounded like a schoolgirl in love when you sighed at Alastor. It had been years. Too long.

“I'm just glad to hear that you had a good life, my love.” Alastor smiled and slid his hand over to yours.

“I'm glad you’re making the most out of it down here.” Your smile was sincere, but you felt so old next to him. He used to be the one older than you.

“I think we should pick up where we left off, don't you think?” Alastor kept his eyes locked onto yours as he pressed a soft kiss onto your knuckles.

“Oh, I don't know,” you giggled and pulled away, your face turning bright red. “I mean look at me.”

“The image of beauty as always?”

“No,” you gave him a playful smack and looked at yourself in the reflection of some nearby silverware. “I'm not the same beautiful and young dame I once was, Al. You still look young. Surely you wouldn't want to date some old woman now!” The thought made you laugh, but you were quickly interrupted by Alastor.

“What are you talking about? I mean look,” Alastor took a sip of his coffee and gave you a loving look. “You may have died at an older age, but if I'm being honest, I wouldn't have guessed you were that old when you got here. You look great for your age, love.” He gave you a smirk and placed another kiss onto your knuckles.

“Oh, Al.” Your face turned red and you giggled as he laid kisses up your arm.

“You haven't answered my question, dearest?” His eyes were sultry and full of love. How could you say no?

“Well of course, my dear. I would love to pick up where we left off.” You leaned over the table and pressed your lips to his. It was like you two were never even apart.

[mint-yooxgi]

Hello！Can you please do pt.4(？) on taeyong, jaehyun and yuta fic？ it's ok if you don't want to, thank you！

Part One, Part Two

***

Two hours, and four drinks, later, you find yourself sitting in a booth with the three men who can’t seem to take their eyes off of you. Every little thing you do, they notice, their gazes intense and honestly, making you a bit self conscious of the movements you do make. The more time passes, the more obvious they become. At least they had been subtle before.

Taeyong sits directly in front of you, followed by Jaehyun who sits right beside him, with Yuta to your left. Of course, when you first sat down, Yuta jumped at the opportunity to be the one that slid in the booth beside you, much to the other two’s discontent. If only they had been faster, then maybe they would be the one sitting so close to you. What bothers them more is that you don’t really seem to mind.

Currently, you find yourselves playing a round of ‘never have I ever’ and taking shots. So far, you’re losing.

“Damn, I never realized just how unique my experiences were until now,” you joke, a chuckle falling from your lips.

“Sounds to me like you just like to have fun,” Yuta grins, nudging your shoulder with his own, much to the annoyance of the two males sitting across from the two of you.

“Either that or you guys just enjoy ganging up on me.” You roll your eyes for a dramatic effect, failing to notice the way Taeyong stiffens slightly across from you.

This night is not going at all how he planned, though he supposes it’s on him for bringing up the idea of going for drinks in front of the other two. If only they hadn’t taken their sweet time packing up after the meeting, but Taeyong knows that if he were in their shoes, he would have done the exact same thing. Like hell he’d ever purposefully leave you alone in a room with the other two. Both of them are bad enough, but the idea of seeing you with one of them, of seeing you with anyone but him sets his heart pounding. He’ll make sure that that will never happen.

“My turn,” Taeyong says, and he revels in the fact that your full attention is now on him. “Never have I ever had a hangover at work.”

Both you and Jaehyun take a shot, and once you put your glass back on the table, your brows raise.

“Really?” Your curious stare meets Jaehyun’s gaze. “I would have thought this one-” you point to Yuta beside you, “would have, but mister prim and proper?”

“Hey!” Yuta whines, about to defend himself before Jaehyun speaking beats him to it.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” He smiles, somewhat mischievously at you and you shoot him an amused look.

“I have to hear this story.” You lean forward slightly, and Jaehyun practically melts at the fact that you want to know more about him.

He shrugs, leaning back slightly in his seat as he meets your gaze once more, “was my friend’s birthday, we got smashed. Woke up in his bathtub ten minutes before I was supposed to be in the office, and managed to make it in with a minute to spare. Thank fuck it was casual Friday, otherwise I would not have made it in time.”

“Oh my god,” your jaw drops, “I think I remember that. You were hungover that day?”

“If you can believe it,” he chuckles, and you fail to see the way Yuta purses his lips beside you. “Had the worst headache of my life but I still managed to complete my reports that day.”

“Now that I believe,” you nod, lip quirked upwards at the side.

“I think I was typing like a third grader though, and I'm pretty sure I had to spell micromanagement five times before I got it right,” he continues, “then I ended up printing the reports and realized I had misspelled my name.”

“Wait, is that why Hyunjin calls you Jaehyum all the time?” You cannot keep the smile off of your lips as you watch the tips of his ears turn red and he nods. You burst out laughing. “That’s gold, oh my god.”

Both Yuta and Taeyong absolutely hate the way you’ve seemingly forgot all about them in this moment. Only, they hate the fact that it was Jaehyun that’s made you laugh like this even more.

“Okay, okay, okay,” you wave your hand in front of yourself as a few more chuckles fall from your lips. “My turn now. Let’s see...” You pause as you hum, “I know!” A grin tugs at the corner of your lips, figuring none of them will be able to take a shot from your next words. “Never have I ever fallen in love with a coworker.”

Your jaw practically falls open as the three of them throw their heads back and down their alcohol practically at the same time. You've never seen any of them talk about past flings or current crushes in the workplace. Well at least, not around you, so to say this comes as a shock would be a severe understatement.

Looking between the three of them, your curiosity gets the best of you. With wide eyes, you ask the single question that sets their hearts racing.

“Who?”

[enluv]

enhypen finding out/meeting your idol!brother

— hyung line x fem!reader

warnings: a bit angsty but like it quickly becomes fluff and they're long (I'm so sorry I got carried away!)

coco's note: this is a two parter and you can find part two here! i hope you enjoy this birthday present from me to you <3 (yes I'm the girl who gives others presents on her bday sue me😡✋🏼)

◜heeseung◞

brother – jeon jungkook (BTS)

Heeseung is smart, and he prides himself on that fact but when it comes to you, his brain becomes filled to the brim and he loses some common sense, but that's what loves all about...right? Wrong. The moment he sees you running into his seniors arms with the biggest smile all common sense is flying out his mind and he's being visited by the big bad green monster (jealousy — not the jolly green giant pea guy). A million thoughts begin to run through his mind, "How does she know him? And why does she look so happy? What are they talking about? Wait why are all the members of BTS walking up to her and hugging her? WAIT WHY ARE THEY LOOKING AT ME-" Poor guy was way too lost in thought to even notice that you're staring in his direction with the biggest smile, as you drag the group of his idols seniors towards him. Firstly he can't really hear what you're saying to him because his minds still spinning with a million and one possibilities, he's just so lost. When you explain that Jungkook is your big brother he finally allows himself to calm down and then he realizes, "holy shit my girlfriend is related to THE jeon jungkook." Needles to say he finds it really cool and asks you a bunch of questions when you're alone later on in the night!

◜jay◞

brother – johnny suh (NCT)

Jay swears up and down that he isn't the jealous type, and part of it is true, but when he sees you on the phone laughing and smiling at incoming texts while hanging out with him on his day off, he's gonna be a bit jealous. He'll try his hardest to get your attention but after he strikes out for the third time, he'll give up. Thinks to himself, "Fine! If she wants to ignore me then so be it, I'll do the same." He knows it's childish but man he does not care whatsoever. Little does he know that you're texting your older brother Johnny trying your best to make plans so that he can meet Jay finally because your brothers opinion matters a lot to you and you'd appreciate it if he met him, but Johnny keeps jokingly saying he'll bring the rest of the 22 (23 including himself) NCT members as well since technically they're all your big brothers. This of course makes you laugh because the image of all 23 idols piling out of a van to meet your boyfriend is funny to you. This situation of you (accidentally) ignoring Jay and him purposely ignoring you continues until he's fed up and straight up asks you who you're texting. You pass your phone over to him suppressing a laugh as he reads the conversation. His face literally goes 😡😐😦 and he'll ask of you're serious or playing with him, and when you reassure him that you're dead serious he's freaking out, because hello your brother is THE freaking Johnny Suh the man, the myth, the NCT legend! Later when Johnny actually meets Jay, they get along well and he fanboys to you after about it :)

◜jake◞

brother – bang chan (stray kids)

Jake goes around the dorm bragging about how well he knows his girl blah blah blah all that sappy stuff, and Sunoo is like okay sure bestie so can you tell me why she's all over twitter hanging out with Bang Chan from Stray Kids? Now that stumps Jake because what the hell are you doing with him, and why didn't he know you'd be with him? When you arrive at his dorm later bearing food and gifts the boys are excited but they feel the tension between you two so they back off a bit, opting to hide in the living room rather than their usual dining room area (because one, it's close to the kitchen and two they're so nosey omg they want all the tea). You're pretty amused that he hasn't broke yet because you know your boyfriend and you know that he's seen the pictures, you're just waiting for him to ask so you can explain. Eventually Jake grows irritated and just straight up asks you why you were with an older artist and how you two know one another. You smile and grab your phone off the counter, while he's watching over your shoulder. "Wait why are you calling him-" "Hush look," you'll reply and as Chan picks up the facetime he can here a faint "hey sis" being shouted at you, which of course leaves the poor boy stunned. Once you're off the phone with your brother, you explain to Jake that Chan is indeed your older brother and that fans just happened to take pictures of the two of you out on your monthly brother-sister day. When Jake and Chan meet later that week (he begs you to introduce him) they bond over being aussie bros and also their love for you!

◜sunghoon◞

brother – jung wooyoung (ateez)

Sunghoon knows that you're a friendly person, and he knows that being an idol yourself (one whose been in the business a bit longer than him) you've met and made friends with other idols. So he isn't too bothered by the fact that the entirety of Ateez has just walked over to the two of you bearing smiles and hugs. He is however, bothered by the fact that you haven't introduced him to them and that one has his arm wrapped firmly around your shoulders as if you were his. He'll grab ahold of your hand offering it a squeeze, which immediately grabs your attention and you'll pull yourself out of the members arms and into his, much to his satisfaction. This of course earns an eyebrow raise from his seniors and immediately you'll start by introducing him as your boyfriend, meanwhile the eight boys will hear this and freak because when did their little sister get old enough to have a bf and why didn't they know? Honestly Sunghoon is just as confused as the boys so you'll have to explain that Sunghoon is your boyfriend and Wooyoung is your older brother, along with the rest of the members since you've known them forever now. Eventually it clicks in all their minds and they'll get well acquainted. Sunghoon asks later why you never mentioned that Wooyoung was your brother but all he'll get is a quick "it never came up" and a shrug.

coco's final note: hi! i hope you all enjoy this as much as I did when writing them :) and don't fret! the maknae lines will be out as well! thank you for reading <3

[kingdaddydaichi]

Scent ⁘ Kakashi Hatake x f!reader ⁘ NSFW

( Source )

Got another one for y'all for my husband's birthday...💙👑💍

MINORS 👏🏼 DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 INTERACT 👏🏼

A/N: Kakashi's sensitive sense of smell and your arousal. This is some raw, primal, feral, filthy Kakashi. If you're looking for soft, sweet, sensitive Kakashi, keep scrolling please, negl.

Warnings: scent kink, drunk sex, lots of sexual bodily fluids (m & f), face fucking, slight dubcon, squirting, facial

Word Count: 1.8k

Asuma and Kurenai are hosting one of their infamous dinner parties at their home. These things always end up the same way. Lots of friends come over, eat, then proceed to drink bottle after bottle of sake while playing drinking games until the music starts blasting and everyone loses several brain cells and have a great time making complete fools of themselves. They truly are the absolute best parties.

Kakashi doesn't frequent these parties, but you do seeing as how Kurenai is your sister from another mister. She knows about your long-time crush on Kakashi and winks at you when she sees the two of you hanging out together, talking, laughing.

His fingers brush across your arms or back every chance they can. You know exactly what you're doing when you lean forward with your arm crossed under your bosom. And Kakashi knows exactly what you're doing too. Sure enough, you're getting turned on just by talking to him and exchanging flirty looks, words, and touches.

You excuse yourself to go to the restroom, adding a little extra sway to your hips knowing he's watching you walk away. It's not the first time he has smelled the scent of your arousal, but his inhibitions have been doused in alcohol and he decides to make his move.

When you open the door to leave the bathroom, Kakashi just so happens to be waiting on the other side. You smile and twirl your hair, feeling yourself getting wetter. Your inhibitions are down as well, the alcohol giving you the courage to taunt him a little.

"Wow Kakashi, if I didn't know better I'd think that you followed me back here". He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths through his nose. "Kakashi, are you okay?"

He opens his eyes, his pupils blown wide, and stalks closer to you. You step backwards into the bathroom and he closes the door behind you.

"I can smell you".

"Oh?" You remember his ultra-sensitive sense of smell and begin to panic a little. Oh god, do I smell bad?

He takes another intentional whiff of you, your scent now more concentrated due to proximity and close quarters, never mind the fact that you're steadily getting more and more turned on by him.

"Mm...you smell..." He takes another deep breath. "...amazing".

"Really? I'm not wearing perfume or anything-"

"It's not that. Better than that. It's your scent".

"W-what do you mean?"

You watch as his lusty gaze dips from your eyes to your center. "I can smell your arousal".

Your mouth opens and you take a step back. "Y-you can?"

The edge of the double vanity is now directly behind you, so when he pushes himself against you, there's nowhere else to go. You're surprised to feel him so hard already, looking down to see the material of his pants being pushed out by his erection. Hell, you can even see the outline of the head of his cock, his bigger than average size making itself apparent.

"What are you gonna do, Kakashi?"

He smooths his hands along your thighs and hips, pushing your short skirt up before picking you up and setting you on the edge of the counter. The cool granite contrasts with your bare heat since you're not wearing any panties. The excitement, the fear, and the need for him all mix together in an exhilarating juxtaposition of desire. You hadn't been expecting this at all, but you don't want him to stop. Now that it's happening you're too curious to see what he's going to do next. How far will he go?

He brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, and you open your mouth to suck it in. You close your eyes and swirl your tongue around his digit before he pulls it out slowly and places it against your weeping slit, dragging it back and forth over your clit, pulling a moan from your parted lips. He looks you dead in the eye, pulls his mask down, and it's his turn to bring his thumb to his lips, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. "Mm fuck, you taste good too".

God, he's beautiful. Your gaze dips from his slate grey and red eyes down to his pretty lips, which are punctuated by a soft beauty mark just below the left corner of his mouth. You wouldn't have thought it possible, but now you want him more than ever. You squirm against the counter, smearing your slick on it as you seek relief from the hard surface pressing against your opening. At the same time, Kakashi's been grinding his cock against the cabinet below, seeking some relief of his own.

He pulls his shirt over his head before reaching down to unbuckle his belt. He unbuttons and unzips his pants before pushing the waistband of his boxer briefs down enough for his large cock to spring free, slapping the skin just below his navel, leaving a string of precum in its wake along his silver happy trail.

He breathes in deeply again, the combination of your scent and flavor making him crazy. He pulls you to the edge of the counter until you think you might fall off, but he catches you. He pushes his thick cock against your wet little cunt, pushing himself inside of you inch by delectable inch until he is fully sheathed within you.

He holds himself there as a long, throaty moan escapes your open lips, your walls already clenching down around him. You arch your back, jutting your tits out as Kakashi pulls the tiny straps of your camisole off your shoulders. He pushes the fabric down until it's bunched up around your waist along with your skirt, your tits now free to be licked and sucked on by his hot mouth with his cock still buried deep inside of you. You push your fingers into his thick hair to pull him closer and throw your head back when he flicks his tongue over one of your hard, wet nipples.

"Hold on to me", he says in his low silky voice. You obey, clutching his shoulders as he hooks his arms behind your knees. He pulls you off the counter and begins gliding his slick cock in and out of you, using the momentum of his hips and the bounce of your ass to boost the impact of his thrusts.

"Oh god, Kakashi...your dick..."

"Yeah, what about it?", he asks before licking your exposed throat.

"Nnnhhh feels so good, gonna make me cum already. So soon!"

He can indeed feel your walls closing in tighter around him as he pumps his hips even faster, digging his fingertips deep enough into your butt cheeks to leave bruises. You adjust your hold on him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to keep from slipping as if he wouldn't catch you anyway.

"Yeah? 'S that right? You gonna cum all over my cock?" He breathes right up against your ear.

Your pussy clenches tighter at his words. You want him to fuck you harder and you tell him as much. He's now slamming his cock into you, his breath quickening.

"Mmhmmm gonna cream all over your fat cock, 'kashi!"

Your scent becomes more and more intoxicating to him the closer you approach orgasm. His legs start to shake, but the adrenaline and testosterone coursing through his body ensure that he's able to keep pistoning his cock in and out of you at speed.

"Ahh fuck, your pussy smells so fucking good. Can't wait to taste it after you cream all over me".

Hearing those words in his deep voice does you in. Every muscle in your body seizes up as you cry out. "Ka-ka-shiiiii!"

He pushes you up against a wall and pounds into you mercilessly, your back pitching up and down the wall with every powerful rut of his hips.

"Cum for me, (y/n)! Yeah, cum all over this fucking cock, right fucking now!"

"Hahhhh that's it, 'kashi! Yeah, slam your cock into my sweet little pussy hahhh! Cumming...cumming...FUCK!"

You explode all around him, spraying your liquid everywhere.

His eyes widen when you squirt all around him and he loses all composure, bucking his hips wildly. "Oh fucking shit! Fucking yes! Oh fuck that pretty cunt of yours is coming apart around my fat cock...oh god, (y/n), I'm gonna fill you up with my fucking nut! Shit, here I cum! Here I fucking cum!"

He's still reaming you with his meaty cock when his seed starts dripping out from your opening, too much of it to hold inside. He sets you back down on the counter and you fall back, unable to even hold yourself up, while he dives face first into your cunt. He wants it all. Your cream mixed with his cum. God it is so fucking hot his dick doesn't even get soft. He wears you out with his mouth until you're ready to cum again, squirting all over his face.

Your body goes limp on the granite, every muscle including the ones in your eyelids completely spent. You can feel him pull your bottom back down to the edge of the counter before burying his hard cock deep inside you again, thrusting with wild abandon, using your body like a fuck doll as your eyes roll back in your head. You're all but unconscious as he pounds into you, wet skin clapping hard against wet skin. Pretty soon he's on edge again.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna fill you up with my cum again, (y/n)".

He looks down to see your body moving in time with his thrusts, tits bouncing, body sliding up and down over the now slippery surface. Kakashi is fucking you raw in a pool of your slick and his semen.

"Ahh come here, I wanna cum all over your face".

He pulls you down, catching you just before your knees hit the hard tile. He stuffs his cock in your mouth and fucks your face while you try to push back on his trembling thighs. But it's no match for his strength as he uses your hair to guide your mouth along his cock. You gag and choke, saliva pouring out of your mouth, but that only seems to egg him on more.

"Oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah! You look so pretty when I fuck your face like this. Shit!"

He continues throwing his hips forward as his balls tighten up so much they're not even hanging anymore.

"Ah fuck, (y/n), I'm gonna cum so fuckin' hard! Gonna cover your face with my seed, yeah! Fuck, here it comes!"

He keeps a fist in your hair when he pulls out of your throat. You choke and spit and fight for air while his hot sticky semen splashes across your face with every jerk of his fist. You stick your tongue out, licking him from your lips.

"Yeah, that's right baby, eat my fucking cum," Kakashi says, using the head of his softening cock to spread his cum into your open mouth.

He draws a hot bath before stripping you down, helping you into the soothing warm water. You watch as he takes the rest of his clothes off, slipping in behind you. He washes your body, then his own before holding you back against his front, slowly stroking your hair. Comforting you. Kissing you. Caring for you.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Dabi x villain!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, non-con, stalking, mentions of human experimentation, non-consensual drug use, lots of swearing.

Words: 1841.

Summary: Running away from the lab where you had been experimented on for years, you have no choice but to join the League of Villains to escape from the government. Of course, you don’t expect things to go smoothly, especially when one mutilated son of a bitch just can’t leave you alone.

P.S. I’ve suddenly remembered Rogue who had been my favorite character once; the heroine’s Quirk is partly based on her ability.

My dear @navegandoaciegas​, this is my first attempt at writing Dabi. Hope you’re going to enjoy reading it ❤

_________________

"Fuck, how much can you drink at once, birdie? Ain't you scared to pass out in a place full of men?"

Oh God, it was that smug bastard again. For the past couple of days Dabi couldn't get off your back for a full damn minute.

"Men? Here?" You opened your eyes and raised an eyebrow at the man whose face was right above yours as he leaned on the back of the couch where you laid. "I see just a couple of kids and one burnt corpse who can never fucking shut up."

"Oh? Wanna see how well can a burnt corpse fuck you up?"

Always up to a challenge. You rolled your eyes at his obvious display of hostility despite the fact he'd most definitely lose against you. Besides, Shigaraki would barely enjoy you two ruining the League's hideout, and upsetting that asshole ready to go berserk any moment certainly wasn't one of your priorities.

"Just go fuck yourself, would you? I'm not in the mood to bark at you."

"Well, then don't. I didn’t come here for that, actually."

This was something new. He suddenly became calm as you studied his grotesque mutilated face inches away from yours. Your expression didn’t betray any emotions either since you weren't shocked or disgusted by the way Dabi looked: you've seen worse in the laboratory, and repulsive things had long stopped looking repulsive to you.

"What are you here for, then?" You asked him, trying to remember if you finished that second bottle of sake or not. Since the time you accidentally got one of those useless Quirks, you couldn't get drunk anymore - now strong alcohol only made you sleepy.

"I've always wanted to ask why the fuck are you wearing these." Dabi pointed out to the black leather gloves laying on the coffee table in front of you, and you rolled your eyes again. One more useless question.

"In this team of no-brainers you're the last person I expected to ask me this question." Groaning, you moved up a little to take more comfortable position and stared at the man above you intensely.

"Don't you want to gather as many Quirks as possible? If so, why wearing gloves when you can only get a Quirk through touch?"

You were close to snapping at him, and it certainly made Dabi look even more smug.

"Who the fuck do you think I am, a garbage bin?" You barked wishing you could teleport the bastard somewhere to Hawaii. "I only take Quirks I need, and it isn't easy to find those in that damp of useless abilities regular citizens have. Besides, some Quirks are quite dangerous for their owners and I'd prefer them not existing at all. You, of all people, should already get that, Pretty Face."

He smiled at you, but you saw his hollow eyes sparkling dangerously at your last remark, and you felt his body emanating heat he could turn into his famous blue flames within a second. Nasty shit, that what's you thought of his Quirk. Who on Earth would want anything like that? You doubted anyone but a true psychopath could really appreciate something as fucked up as Dabi's ability to burn anything and anyone, himself including. You definitely didn't want to use his Quirk despite already taking it as almost all of those belonging to the League of Villains. It wasn't intentional, though.

"You'd better start watching your mouth, birdie. You ain't back in the lab." His smile grew wider as he saw your expression darkening at the mention of the lab.

Fucking son of a bitch. You bet he'd go insane during the first month being locked up there.

"Huh, calm down, dear. I think it's better we get along."

You sent him a glare wishing you could throw his overconfident ass out of the window. Dabi loved messing with fucking everyone, Shigaraki included, but he was still a valuable member of the team. Killing him would do you no good.

Showing him your middle finger, you put your head on the pillow and took the half-empty bottle of sake. Thank goodness you didn't finish it. You hoped Dabi would vanish by the time you were done.

You spent a few minutes in complete silence as the man kept leaning on the couch and watching you drinking while you did your best trying to relax. Why the Hell was Dabi stuck here with you? Didn't he have any other things he should be doing now? Was he here to get under your skin even more? Shit, you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted it since the time they brought you to the lab, but since then somebody had always been getting on your nerves one way or the other.

"Seriously, what do you want from me?" You grunted as you opened your eyes again and stared at Dabi's face. "You wanna take the couch or what? I ran out of sake if you're here for it."

There was that smug smile again. Saints, the guy had been creeping you out with his long intense stares for quite some time, but today he was even less bearable than usual. He definitely wanted something from you, and the feeling was making you uneasy.

"You wanna hook up, birdie?"

You thought you were gonna choke on air when you heard him saying that. What? Seriously? Did he hurt his head so bad last time heroes attacked? So, that was the meaning of those stares, then? He thought you were the one he could stick his dick in. Wincing from the thought like from a toothache, you squeezed your eyes shut. The guy was clearly mad.

"Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to hook up with anyone?" You huffed with irritation and realized Dabi was having way more fun than you.

"Don't tell me you're actually a virgin."

"You think I can be a virgin with the life I'm having?" You sounded more bitter than you thought you would, and the man above you chuckled. He was getting on your nerves more and more with each passing second.

"Then why not? Sex is a good way to relax. You certainly seem like you could let off some steam." You flinched when Dabi extended his hand to you, but he had only brushed of a lock of your hair out of your face. "I bet I can help you with that better than most of the team."

"Sex is painful, and I don't like pain. Go have fun with Toga, she seems more into that than me." You narrowed your eyes at him, your hand almost touching his neck if the villain decided he'd go further without your consent. His stupid grin going wider was making you more and more mad.

Of course, he wouldn't go to Himiko. That asshole had his own type, and she certainly didn't fall into that category. Why did you? You had no idea, but you doubted he would ever lay his hands on you. Yeah, you knew what sex was, and it had nothing to do with pleasure like in those stupid romantic novels you once bought. It was humiliating and painful. If you had a chance to get back to those who did it to you back in the lab, you'd rip their hearts out of their rib cages.

The expression on your face didn't seem to faze Dabi even the slightest bit, and you rolled your eyes in irritation. Apparently, he wouldn't give up unless you showed him you weren't some doll he could play with, and Shigaraki was probably going to get real mad at the both of you this evening.

All of a sudden you felt some strange tickling in your muscles you had never felt before. What was that? Confused, you quickly glanced over the room to see no one except Dabi still on his spot. What was that? Was it some hero's work? Had they found your hideout? No, it couldn’t be. You'd hear them, feel them before somebody even set their foot on your territory. It wasn't a hero.

Unwilling to wait for any surprises to happen, you used a regeneration Quirk, the one you were gifted on your 14th birthday so you could heal yourself after they ran the tests without troubling a healer too much. Strangely, the Quirk did nothing about the tickling, and you felt your legs getting weaker. What the fuck was that?

As you raised your head to ask Dabi for help, you suddenly realized he was eager to see what you were doing. He looked like he enjoyed watching you in such state, confused and even frightened, your knees slightly trembling as if you became weak within a couple of seconds.

It was him. He did something to you. The bastard had the nerve to do something to your body so it'd be easier to handle you.

"What have you done?" You hissed at him while he chuckled, pointing at the bottles of sake on the table. "Have you poisoned my drink?"

But the regeneration would work in that case. You knew for sure.

Running his finger around the shell of your ear, Dabi hummed with content, "Poisoned? Come on, who do you think I am, an Evil Queen? That's just a little handy potion that has a tendency to slowly accumulate in your body. Makes you a little softer, don't you think?"

Oh. Oh. That's why he was always watching you. He had no idea when the effects would start to show. Did he fucking realize it could happen in the heat of the battle when you needed your Quirks the most? Did Dabi have any idea what would happen if heroes managed to lock you away again?

"Seems like you planned to abandon me if heroes attacked, didn't you?" You gritted your teeth when Dabi got on top of you, his hands on your chest as he caressed your body like a lover would, his hot fingers getting under your clothes.

"Of course not. I'd play your personal hero and save your stubborn ass the trouble of murdering everyone."

While you desperately wanted to kick him off you came to realization you weren't able to even stand up, your arms and legs so weak you could barely move while Dabi had no problems stripping you out of your clothes, his hands on the your thighs as he took off your pants.

Shit, shit, shit. You couldn’t use any Quirks to hurt him, all of them barely responding to your call. What was that potion? Why nobody in the lab prepared you for this? How on Earth did that shithead obtain such a dangerous thing?

"If you hurt me, I'll rip your brain out of your skull and bring it to Shigaraki as a present."

His chapped, disfigured lips brushed against your neck almost gently when the man murmured, "It doesn't have to be painful, birdie. I'll show you how much fun we can have together."

___________________

Tags: @coolio-love @awesomerextyphoon​

[seyaryminamoto]

my school works are piled up this past few weeks (graduating tingz) and i just started reading the deadlock novel it feels like i'm reading a sokkla fic every time Mcashe has a scene because they just give off the vibes skskskskksksks. BTW, what's your top5 fav scenes from the novel? PS: I'm smiling like an idiot while reading the novel ughh i hate myself

I KNOW, RIIIIIGHT?! *-* and don't hate yourself, my anon friend, I spent the whole novel smiling and laughing and losing my goddamn mind because I was having the time of my life xD enjoy this beautiful content as best you can!

I mean, frankly, Reunion already had all the Sokkla vibes I could've wanted/needed to ship these two like FedEx and I always knew I wasn't getting off this ride anytime soon. But gosh, this book... it gave me everything I wanted and MORE! Their dynamics are soooo similar to Sokkla team-up dynamics, two power couples kicking ass and taking names... oh, I just love it so much. I probably will end up reading the book a third time soon x'D

As for my favorite scenes, damn, this is tricky xD

KEYCHAIN! HE MADE HER KEYCHAIN!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! God, it's just amazing how the book explains the "vintage" look for Ashe's hoverbike the way it does, and that they literally built it together *screams!!!*, but then he gives her that keychain for her birthday present, and the implications!! THE IMPLICATIONS!!! He gave her a keychain she's held onto for TWENTY YEARS?!?!?! Ships in the OW fandom have sailed far and wide with less than breadcrumbs: we literally have been granted a boon from the GODS with all this extra context for the little things in Reunion xD

Ashe going to hell and back to save her kidnapped BFF-for-whom-she-totally-doesn't-have-feelings-yeah-yeah-sure-Jan. I love the fact that McCree is, in a way, Ashe's damsel in distress and not the other way around xD Of course, it's what you'd expect from an Ashe-centric story, but it's still an amazing sequence, all around. Gotta highlight how she loves the way he smiles like a madman when they have that shootout at the end, and how he worries so much over Ashe's injury when he took an even worse one than she did (the Sokkla vibes in that particular situation were SO STRONG! I SWEAR!).

"Jesse McCree, are you trying to make me say you're handsome?" "Am I?" ... do I need to say more. That FLIRTING. These two were on fire already and they'd only known each other for like... weeks, at this point? x'D He has no sense of moderation, he's soooo into her and doesn't hide it at all. Ashe is so busy trying to plot all the crime and Jesse's practically like a shojo heroine, "oh I can feel it, this is how my love story begins!", basically xD

Finally I pick a not-McAshe scene... to bring up the one where Ashe picks up the Viper on her last moment in Lead Rose Manor. That moment was just... POWERFUL. The feeling of epicness in that scene just overwhelmed me when I was reading it xD

The ending of the book :'D the fully formed Deadlock Gang ready for business, down to the explanation for the Est. 1976 in the logo... *sobs* the fact that so much about the character design choices in these two characters is a shoutout to the past they share is just... *gross sobbing* oh, I just love it to pieces, I'm not even sorry.

Ashe's bike race to save B.O.B. x'D that whole situation was bonkers but I looooved how fierce she was about protecting her one and only buddy while growing up (AND THAT JESSE BLUSHED WHEN SHE TAUNTED HIM WAS JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP!). I appreciated learning more about the Omnic War and its consequences, how Ashe reflects on having escaped it practically untouched in virtue of her money and societal privilege while her new friends all faced many hardships to survive. But I can't help but also love that, however uneasy others could have been about the Best Omnic Butler, Ashe was so fiercely loyal to B.O.B. that she nearly broke Julian's nose herself over his ridiculousness x'D That's HER big omnic buddy and she's not about to lose him to anyone, not her shitty parents, not a bet in a race, NOTHING! (and it's so cute that B.O.B. is just as loyal to her, too *sobs*)

Ashe grabbing McCree's arm to explain things to him on their first heist and him being all "you gonna leave that there?" and only then does she realize her hand's still on him x'D what a McCree line, and he was absolutely enjoying the attention, he doesn't even pretend otherwise.

Everything poetic McCree says or does... meanwhile Ashe's like "um yeah I don't care about poetry I want money", right until his poet soul totally smashes her square in the heart with the KEYCHAIN!!! But damn, I swear I thought McCree would hold back a lot more, and yet there he was, saying things like Calamity was brilliant and mysterious... you could practically hear B.O.B., Julian and Frankie going "I can see what's happening..." in the background xD

The conversation about what they wanted to do once they were loaded with all the cash they could possibly want. That one was a real number on my heartstrings. It ties up to what I said earlier with Ashe finally being in touch with people who are completely removed from the ridiculous social circles of her parents and her school, people who really lost a lot in the war. But where Julian and Frankie seem to look at the past a lot, I loved that Jesse is basically just thinking about the future. The fact that he says he wants to chill out in a farm and that this is what he wants in life... many, MANY, shippy wheels have turned in my head since I read that <.< maaaany...

WHEN JESSE NEARLY FALLS AND ASHE CATCHES HIM!!! UNDERRRATED AS HECK!!! The fact that he's taunting her about fear of heights, then he nearly plummets to his death because ironies are beautiful xD and Ashe pulls him back to safety only to say that she's not afraid of heights but afraid of ~FALLING~??? I mean, okay, sure, maybe I'm reading too much into that line... or maybe I'm not <.< either way, the truth is I just love how absolutely broad of interpretation that scene and that DIALOGUE are :> ehehehe.

Oh, their first encounter. The fact that it's so cute and fun, and that it's this low in the list tells you how GOOD this book was x'D "You've got an awful lot of grit for a rich girl," first words he spoke to the love of his life xD then how they talked and laughed together about the crazy stories he shared (she was crying of laughter for the first time in her life! precious girl!), and then how she sat in the car thinking about the strange feeling she was left with after meeting him... they seriously had a meetcute in prison, how can a ship get any better? xD

WHEN HE COMES BACK TO HER WHEN THEIR FIRST HEIST GOES WRONG!!! That Ashe expects him to just leave after she falls off their getaway vehicle, but Jesse saves her and goes "pfft that's just not my style", basically... *sobs* without realizing it she ends up picking up that particular philosophy of his, saving her friends no matter the cost...! Honestly, though, the fact that every time something like this happens it hits Ashe like a truck racing downhill with no brakes because she's NEVER been cared about by anyone but B.O.B. and she's completely new to friendships and bonding with people... and in the mean time, Jesse immediately is "ride or die" with her because that's how he rolls... beautiful relationship dynamics between characters who influence each other for the better are just beautiful :')

A silly one here: Jesse enjoying the good life in Lead Rose. That description of him looking like a marshmallow in the CHAISE LOUNGEEEEE!!! (the one he references in their in-game interactions *CRYING SO MANY TEARS*), was just too cute to bear x'D Ashe just jumping back into work mode... while he was just thrilled to be a marshmallow in a towel xD

... So, um, I went overboard because I love this book a little too much for my own good :> what can I say? When things I love are good, I go wild xD There's probably more scenes I loved, but these... thirteen? XD are the ones that came to mind.

I think one of my favorite things now is reexamining Reunion with all this extra context in mind. The first time I watched that cinematic I, of course, fell in love with these two outlaws because how could I not? But while subsequent rewatches revealed a lot of things I didn't pay enough attention to the first time around, the book has done even more than I could imagine possible for a short that was already as shippy as could be xD

Ooookay so, shippy ramblings about Reunion, coming up! (simply because I have to put these down SOMEWHERE XD and your ask was a good idea for that, anon!)

First off, Jesse very much staged the whole rodeo in Reunion. He sent the tip to Ashe, he wanted Echo's crate specifically. He thought they could work together, basically, despite knowing it was entirely possible that those hopes wouldn't pay off. This train, according to the wikia, was a government train, so Jesse is very much telling Ashe to give a finger to the government for all he cares, all he wants is one (1) crate.

Ergo, Jesse, for all his "nice guy bountyhunter" deal, doesn't disapprove of Deadlock's actions. If anything, he counts on them to be exactly what he needs in order to get what he wants. He practically trusts Ashe to pull off the train heist disaster perfectly and only steps up when it's time to collect Echo.

Then the wacky shoot-out happens, it's veeeery charged (the UST is so thick, I swear...), and Jesse wins. He ties up Ashe, floats her off on the payload with the rest of the gang, and he sets Echo free. He's helping her out very nicely and everything, but the context in question is... he received the recall notification thingy XD Winston called him back to Overwatch, and Jesse...

... Jesse doesn't want to go back.

Jesse says "they want me", and the displeased tone of his voice, paired with the look on his face when he says that line, speak for themselves.

That, in my humble opinion, isn't the sequence of expressions you'd expect from someone who intends to return to the group where he thrived, had the time of his life and found his true calling. To me, he actually looks irritated about the recall (the sequence of expressions during that line is much better when you watch the full thing x'D), as though he REALLY doesn't want to return. He's not against Overwatch, I'm not quite saying that, otherwise he wouldn't have set Echo free and told her to go back at all... but this isn't remorse. It's not "Oh, I'm not good enough for Overwatch anymore". Nope... this is "My time with them is over and I don't plan on going back unless I have no choice", as far as I can tell.

If OW2 does bring him back into the fold and he's a perfectly chill and happy guy about it, I'll seriously be surprised. I mean, he could have set Echo free and, once his business is over, returned to Overwatch with her, he could have been in the Paris cinematic if he'd done that...

But he's not there.

Which outright says he didn't do that :> oops.

Basically, I think Jesse's reaction in Retribution (where he's markedly the most morally correct one of the bunch, and he's the former outlaw :'D) tells you his displeasure with Overwatch ran very, very deep. And someone can very easily say he felt the same way about Deadlock and that's why he left them for Overwatch... but that's conjecture. His displeasure with Blackwatch (and, in consequence, Overwatch), however, is FACT. And the previous conjecture falls flat pretty quickly considering he's perfectly fine with Ashe's train heist, even sets it up himself, from what the story suggests, so... how ~appalled~ was he over her choices and actions? Not appalled at all, if you ask me, and after you read Deadlock Rebels, you actually understand why: Jesse trusts Ashe.

From the first moment she enters the same prison block he's in, he's drawn to her. He wants to impress her, he absolutely enjoys her company and making her laugh (just as much as she enjoyed laughing at his wacky stories), and he's plain thrilled that she comes back for him when she does. Ashe manages the gang with inexperience but she's always willing to improve, and you see Jesse sticking with her through thick and thin, supporting her at the best and worst times alike, always putting his faith on her and constantly watching out for her (he protected and shielded her from attacks with his own body sooooo many times *sobs*). Ashe starts out intending to keep most profits for herself, and Jesse doesn't care much at first... but then she starts to share profit equally between their team. She works on her own bike herself, her own ride, and she plans and solves problems as best she can, to a point of even going overboard with planning too much. She's wild, reckless and takes insane risks... and this guy loves every second of it. The matter of morality regarding the actions of a criminal gang is, of course, something to think about... but as far as the book goes, Ashe mainly targets her own family, their specific brand of bullshit, and in the process she ends up helping lots of people and even saving lives that might not have been saved otherwise. I'm not going to put my hand on the fire here and say Deadlock never ever did anything absolutely wrong to people who didn't deserve it... but for a criminal gang? They're honestly the most wholesome one the OW team could have come up with, if you ask me.

So where you see Jesse is very much antagonistic with Reaper/Reyes, where he loses his temper with the guy's choices, he doesn't ever do that with Ashe. Overwatch ARE supposed to be the good guys... so how weird that Jesse McCree, reformed outlaw, ends up so disappointed with these guys when he was actually thrilled with Ashe's managing of their gang, as far as we saw. So much so that, when it came down to it, Jesse McCree, 20 years later, still counts on Ashe to give him a hand (without her full awareness) with a little operation to help out an old friend of his. Also worth pointing out: he doesn't want to fight at all, while Ashe, of course, does. Deadlock for life, is what Jesse said... and he's not Deadlock anymore, hasn't been for who knows how long. Worse yet... his tattooed arm is gone. It's like all his ties to Deadlock have been severed.

And even so, he came to Ashe and hoped she wouldn't want a shootout with him. Even when he knows she might be beyond unforgiving because of the betrayal (he has seen directly how outraged she was about a certain someone betraying her in the book...), Jesse goes back anyway and hopes it won't come to this.

THE IMPLICATIONS, MAN!!!

Carrying on: Echo is surprised that Jesse shows no intentions of going back to Overwatch. She asks him what he's going to do... and what does Jesse say?

He puts his cowboy hat back on (the symbolism in this short, I swear...), and when she asks him what he's going to do, he tells her "I've got some business to attend to."

THE MUSIC PICKS UP.

AND THEN HE CLIMBS ON THE BIKE HE BUILT WITH ASHE.

YOU GET A DELIBERATE CLOSE-UP TO THE KEYCHAIN.

THEN THE CAMERA PANS UP TO FOCUS ON THE PICTURE, TORN AND TAPED BACK TOGETHER, THAT ASHE CARRIES ON THIS BIKE, A BIKE WHICH, LET'S BE REAL, IS BASICALLY A MCASHE BABY CHOPPER/HOVERBIKE HYBRID, AND AS SHE PUTS IT LATER, IS...

HER

BIKE!!!

When Jesse says he has business to attend to, he could pick up any bike he wants (since it'd stand to reason that the other guys Ashe came in with would have bikes of their own). He could escape on horseback for all we know xD so there are lots of options... but no. He takes HERS. Right after saying he has "business to attend to".

Look, I could be wrong. I could be dead wrong. I can absolutely be digging around and going INSANE because nothing I ship EVER gets this much content.

But we literally get a guy saying he has "business" to take care of, and the cinematic focuses exclusively on elements that, even BEFORE Deadlock Rebels, all point towards Ashe?! You could easily say that taking her bike is just the final nail on the coffin, his last trolling idea to mess with his one true love... but that picture is right there. That picture, with them in their youth. The picture, btw, was bigger than just them: B.O.B.'s hand is there. The top of the picture is uneven, suggesting Ashe probably tore it to shreds in a fit of rage... and then specifically put together THEIR PART. And then she taped that to her bike's dashboard. Meaning, she carries the goddamn memory of Jesse with her EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. And she does it WILLINGLY.

Which, in turn, answers why Jesse expects MAYBE Ashe wouldn't go full-on hostile when they meet: this trolling cowboy knows exactly what he means to Ashe. He's not surprised when he sees that picture on the bike. He doesn't toss it away, which he could have, if he were saying "we are history now, forget it gurl" (and let's be honest, what a dick move that would have been @_@), he doesn't flinch after noticing and then goes "yeah, no, I'm picking another bike".

NOPE. The familiarity with which they talk, the way he hopes she'll just let him walk away, the fact that she DIDN'T change the keychain and bike in all those years and he's not even SURPRISED...

Jesse knows how much she loves him, point-blank. He's completely aware of it... and he's very much okay with it.

So much so... that I'm something of a 90% sure that the business he intends to deal with is ASHE HERSELF.

And no, I don't mean he's going to go on another shootout with her... I mean, evidently, that Jesse wants to come home. That he's tried the life of Overwatch, and he's decided to leave it behind. He's turned bountyhunter now, vigilante, pretty much... but he comes back to Ashe all the same. He's come back for the first time in who knows how long (going by Ashe's expressions and sarcasm with the "you promised you'd write" line, it miiiiiiight be they haven't seen each other since he got recruited into Blackwatch), and he expected a peaceful encounter, no less.

A good question to ask here is... what did Jesse hope would happen, if the encounter HAD been peaceful? He would've released Echo, sent her away to her business, and stayed behind anyway because he had business to deal with. Which business? :'D why... the business that would've been standing right in front of him.

There's no other, logical reason why this cinematic would put Ashe and McCree's picture into focus right when McCree says what he does to Echo. There's no other reasonable choice why McCree would turn his back on Overwatch quite so firmly. We know he had two important ties in his life: Overwatch and Deadlock. And Overwatch stole him away from Deadlock for a VERY long time. Well over half the time Deadlock has been in operations, as far as I can tell. He picked Overwatch over Deadlock once before... and now, it seems he's picking Deadlock over Overwatch instead :')

The follow-up short, Roadtrip, doesn't do anything to change my mind. The trolling jerk, Jesse McCree, hovers past Ashe's payload, where she's just... complaining, as she hovers xD going by what I know of the game and that map, the payload may just be en route to the gang's hideout, so that, I'd say, could explain why she hasn't climbed off it or escaped in any way (which she reasonably would have, if Jesse was trying to, I don't know, send her and her people to the authorities).

My point here is, however, that Jesse is headed the same way the payload is. If his destination is the same one, he'll beat it there for sure. Maybe, yes, he'll go away and drive well past the hideout... but maybe that's exactly where he intended to go.

Maybe, in the end, Reunion is about a man who's finally coming home :D

In addition, goes without saying, Ashe's rant about how everyone falls to pieces over Jesse showing his "stupid mug" (uh-huh, stupid, ANGELIC mug, we know what you really think, girl xD) ends with her saying she should have "put a bullet in him the minute he showed up".

Which begs the question of why didn't she.

Then, of course, she says she hates McCree when he drives past her while listening to some really ridiculous honky-tonky-sounding music x'D I cannot even help but imagine him deliberately picking that radio station or whatever it was just to annoy Ashe when he drove beside her, and so that she can get extra pissed when she retrieves her beloved bike, turns on the music and it's just more honky-tonky stuff x'D but anyway, the thing is she shouts after him, tells him that's her bike and says she hates him. B.O.B. wordlessly speaks for us McAshe shippers by giving Ashe the most "sure, Jan" side-eye in the history of side-eyes, and Ashe notices and is outraged enough to knock B.O.B.'s little hat right off his head again.

Again... this is renowned outlaw Elizabeth Caledonia "Calamity" Ashe, sitting on a payload, groaning about the guy she once very much had feelings for (and that doesn't even begin to cut it, if you ask me x'D) and for whom she tooooootally doesn't anymore, that picture on her bike doesn't MEAN that, OBVIOUSLYYYY!!, and so, she sits up, complains and doesn't do much of anything to get out of her current situation, right? :>

So, summing up my current understanding of EVERYTHING, thanks to Deadlock Rebels and my obsessive rewatches of Reunion + Roadtrip:

Jesse deliberately sought out Ashe so she would indirectly, unknowingly, help him set Echo free from the government's clutches.

Jesse hoped for a peaceful encounter despite knowing he might not get one.

Jesse has no intentions of returning to Overwatch but was willing to perform one final act of service for them by releasing Echo so she'd go give Winston and co. a hand.

Jesse is NOT surprised to see that Ashe: 1. Didn't change bikes at some point in the twenty years since they built it. 2. Didn't swap the ignition key for a button, the way she says she thought to do it in the novel until he gives her the keychain. 3. KEPT THE POETIC AF KEYCHAIN, despite resenting Jesse for his betrayal. 4. KEEPS A PICTURE OF THEM IN THEIR YOUNGER YEARS PASTED ON HER BIKE'S DASHBOARD.

Jesse claims he has business to deal with: he doesn't clarify said business verbally, but every shot after he says those words focuses on elements related to Ashe... and then, along with the novel's context, it's elements related to their BOND. Everything in that shot, EVERYTHING, is connected to the two of them. Elements that weren't shown before or during their shootout, and that are only introduced in that final moment when McCree is off to deal with his "business".

Ashe doesn't climb off the payload or stops it (which, going by how McCree simply pressed a button, and Ashe isn't immobilized in the least, she easily could have done it too if she had wanted to). Suggesting that, wherever the payload is heading, it isn't anywhere dangerous for Ashe and her crew, ergo, she is 100% sure McCree isn't trying to screw her over by turning her in to the authorities or so (or, at worst, she's completely confident that, even if he is going to do this, she'll be able to get out of it easily).

Jesse drives in the same direction the payload is headed. Another hint that suggests he might intend to head to the Deadlock hideout and that, whatever business he has left to deal with, it involves them.

If his intent ISN'T to go to the hideout... Jesse is still guaranteeing that Ashe will come after him by stealing her bike, the 18th birthday gift he gave her, and the picture she keeps of them. That he takes that very bike practically serves as painting a target on his back for her to hunt down, and he KNOWS IT.

In short: Jesse will have plenty of business with the Deadlock Gang in his future, and going by how pleased he seems to be when riding the bike, he's perfectly happy to handle that business on his terms, whenever he wants to handle it.

Extra tidbit: there's nothing in Deadlock Rebels about Jesse's smoking habit, something he definitely did pick up at some point while in the gang because, hahaha, he IS smoking in the picture Ashe keeps of him :> Which makes me wonder why, of all pictures Ashe chooses to keep on her bike's dashboard, she picks one where he's smoking.

Then, it makes me wonder about the fact that Jesse deliberately starts smoking when he's standing right in front of her (and then he winks at her!). He tosses that cigar after things get kind of dangerous for him because B.O.B. does something, and then... then he goes back to smoking.

RIGHT WHEN HE'S CLIMBING ON THE BIKE.

Like... seriously...

*unintelligible fangirl screaming*

I could be looking too deeply into this. I know I could be. Maybe Blizzard just wants me to go CRAZY with little symbolism and hints charged with SO MUCH MEANING that maybe don't have as much meaning as I thought it did...

... But man, I've sailed into the depths of the shippiest oceans for many ships that have gotten actual breadcrumbs from canon. I've gone wild over ships that have zero opportunity to become a thing in canon continuity. I've written a nearly 3M words story based on a ship that is just UNEXPLORED AMAZING POTENTIAL and ngl, I love exploring it myself, so I don't even begrudge canon that much for not giving it to me anymore.

But the fact is, no ship in OW, as far as I've seen, has remotely as much content, hints and strong ties as McAshe does -- at least, no ships between heroes. We had a cinematic that was CHARGED with significance, with little gestures, with even the smallest facial expressions that carried soooo much more meaning than whole episodes or even seasons in TV shows. And then? We got a novel. A full novel depicting their origins and exploring their dynamics, how tight their friendship was, and how some strong feelings were certainly brewing there, even if neither one was ready to act on them yet (as far as we saw...).

Finally... I'll say I did start working on a Sokkla Western AU ages ago because the idea I had for one was pretty amusing. Then Reunion dropped, and I said "Why would I need to finish that story anymore when the Sokkla Western AU is RIGHT HERE?!"

And that's it, I will stop rambling now because this got insanely long x'D but thank you very very much for giving me this chance to go WILD on everything I can see, within all those canon hints, with these two *-*

[lovee-infected]

By my side

♥Leona Kingscholar ♥

Art credit

Well it still isn't too late to offer our dear Lion a bitter-sweet birthday gift , right ? Let him let go of his sad past and find happiness in this birthday night

...Sometimes I wondered why would I be even given birth to if this was the point life was going to drive me into ? If this was how it was supposed to be , I wished to never be born . Living without needing and to be needed , wanting and to be wanted , loving and to be loved was nothing different from death , some are given birth to by mistake , could it be that I as well was a mistake ? I was pretty sure that I was until something later changed my mind

Preview : Years has passed , each filled with dread , hatred , loneliness and dishonor . Unwanted pains shattering his heart to pieces , unexplainable emotions no one around him would ever care to imagine , endless tears fallen from his eyes over the years on his lonely corners , injured heart of him which no one ever cared to heal... But from now , things are going to be different . This year will be his new start because he has you by his side

Why did I always have to be the second one ...?

They say you've got to live your and only your life , that the only one holding you back from your dreams is you , that you can be anything if you try your hardest , and I tried

No , it wasn't only trying . I lived for my goal . I lived to become the strongest , I lived to be the one who brought honor to my family's name , I lived to pull myself out my brother's shadow , I lived to change my unwanted fate...but I couldn't . I cut back on my everything , my free time , my friends , my family , my own self . All to have my time to focus on my powers , to be an almighty magician . As I grew stronger , I begun to bring fear along myself. I got warned that I'm going way further than I ever should but it didn't matter . I still needed to be stronger , strong enough to prove that I'm worthy of being the next king

Farena brought light wherever he went and I brought...shadows . Shadows reflecting the terrifying darkness taming into my soul . I thought these would turn me into a worthy heir to my kingdom but they didn't , they turned me into something others called terrifying . Fearful . Greedy . Monster

My brother himself tried to hold me back for many times but I didn't listen , thinking that he was afraid of my strength which I thought had surpassed him so far . Even if it wasn't his purpose , this wasn't going to hold me back from the path I'd chosen ; it was too late

All they could see was my stunning powers growing more and more fearful day by day , slowly turning into a threat . No one ever saw what it took me to get to this point , no one ever cared . While children were playing outside and enjoying their short lasting carefree days , I had locked my self inside my hidden training spot , spending hours each day all alone there . Learning everything on your own isn't really pleasant , specially when no one's there to tell you how harmful magic can be . I was covered in dust and bruises each day after training , I even passed away of tire too many times right there

I have to admit...It doesn't really matter how much I grow . A part of me will always remain child because I sacrificed my time to be a child when I had to enjoy it . Yeah , there's an extremely annoying cry baby hiding inside me... It came clear to me again on the day of my nephew's birthday , the day life proved me that I can never change my path , no matter how much I try , no matter how much I lose , no matter how much cry , no matter how much I suffer

All those pain , loneliness , hours of crying and wiping blood off my body was a waste . Not because I didn't try , no dear it wasn't ever my fault . It was this life . It wasn't ever fair...

That child...This was the end of me . The only thing I fought for , my very last chance to get all I ever wanted out of my life . Why?...why?? I gave up my all just to be respected ! To be looked up to ! To be wanted !! Didn't I lose enough...?

I couldn't take it anymore , I couldn't . I had lost my purpose to live , to breath , to exist . Suicide would've been a pretty simple and shameful way to end it all , but you won't believe it if I tell how many time I was too close to doing it . The story of the infamous king Scar was getting reflected into my life . I was becoming what I refused to be , I didn't want to be like him , I didn't want to be the monster he became but...Not everything always goes as you expect , right ?

When I announced that I'll be heading to Night Raven College , everyone knew that I'd finally given up to my dark side . I was no longer afraid of becoming the monster they warned me about ; this was my path

I started a new life with entering Night Raven College or this is what I thought . No was there to look down to me for my neglected past and that was enough for me , enough to not suffer much more . My mind finally came to a more stable zone , somehow I could pull some parts of my shattered personality together and that seemed to be good...but the holes in my heart , there was no way to get rid of them . Loneliness , pain and , isolation took more than having a more stable life to be forgotten , but I never knew that my medicine would one day come to me on their own

I used to think that you were just as empty as I was , perhaps even a lot weaker with not a single sight of magic inside you . May seem rude but I believe that was the first thing that made me have an interest in you : You made me feel superior . Don't hate my dear , but that's just how I grew up . Being compared to my brother my whole life and receiving endless critiques and blames on it . You do understand , don't you ? Told you , those holes in my heart needed to be filled . Bullying you was just a small part of it

Back then , you were nothing more than a child in my eyes . Your will to make a change and save others sounded pathetic to me ; not just because I looked down to you as a human , but rather because I saw myself inside you ; my unfulfilled wishes and useless tries . This was how I expected you to end up , just like me . But you didn't

Overblot may be counted as my most terrifying form , but it isn't the only the thing you saw through me . That was the very first time I show you the others how empty I was , how weak I felt . I revealed my holes and that made me feel unsafe

Considering how I was wrong about being superior to you and the way you saw how measurable and weak I could be , I wouldn't have been fascinated if you too had started looking down to me as a loser . It was odd of you to try and get closer to me instead , no wonder why I kept rejecting you at first . You were stubborn and I was moody , I didn't really like the two of us getting much closer . Helping you take back the Ramshackle dorm was supposed to be our very last business together but , I'm thankful that you didn't give up on me . I accepted the two of us becoming friends since you insisted , but I'd never imagined what great changes were coming to my life by letting you in

Your powerless self which I used to make fun of , became a way for me to spend sometime forgetting how strong my magic would be or how important it can be in my life . Having ice cream together , taking walks , talking like two friends would , these were nothing special but they were all new to me . I had to accept that it was nice having you around , finally someone that wasn't as annoying as the others

Finally I gained enough self-esteem to speak of my personal issues , stuff that were bothering me over the years . I didn't want you to do anything about them , I just needed a listener . But to see how you cried hearing my pain... I- I wasn't ever expecting that . You were not only the first one to know but also the first to care...that shook my heart

When you said that you wanted me to spend more time with my family specially brother and nephew , I couldn't help but to laugh it off . But the way you actually forced me into doing it seemed to by quite childish at first . I was too selfish to even call my brother but you were there to force me into doing it - It felt like you were my mum sitting next to phone to see if I talk politely or not, but it worked out anyway

As the time passed , many things changed . Our small friendship was now way further than were it once was , specially now that I look how you changed me and my life over

Farena and I are now much better than we used to be , I can now really feel like I have someone as my older brother , not a symbol to be compared with . My family now check on my casually asking how I am doing . I still refuse to go home since I still have a lot to take care of here , but I can somehow feel that I as well missed them too . For so long I thought that I was forgotten , invisible and unwanted . But after you showing up in my life , I can finally see what it means to be alive

My dear (y/n) , I'm still learning to be a better me and need you by my side to learn me how to , so I'm not yet prepared to tell you how I feel . I kept on learning to be a great magician for years and now , it's time for me to learn to be a great lover , someone worthy of your love and attention , someone you'd like to remain by his side for eternity

I love you (y/n) , not just because of giving me all I needed for my whole life , not because of making me feel like I have a real family after the years , not because of helping me gain all respect and honor I always wanted to have , but for showing me that my path as well can be changed

Tonight here I am with my family , friends and you by my side , celebrating a date I called filthy for the past 20 years of my life :

" Happy birthday Leona! "

The crybaby inside me isn't going to shut the hell tonight- I know that I shouldn't cry but , I can't help it . My first tears in front on someone else than myself fall not because of pain this time , but due to the unbelievable happiness and joy my heart has drowned into . I look at you , your bright smile giving me straight and your beautiful eyes keeping on bringing light to soul . Even if my birth was a mistake , I would mow say that it's the most beautiful mistake that could have ever happened in my life

My family , my friends , and my beloved (y/n) , I need them all , and I'm glad to see that they as well need me . I want them in my life , and I'm proud that they as well want me . I love you (y/n) and I would die to see that you too love me , but even if you don't , that will never change my feelings for you . For the first time in my life , I feel alive . And it's all thanks to you , because of you by my side

I can't help but to hug you tight , feeling your warmth close to me . Digging my head into your shoulder as I let go of heavy tears in my eyes : " Thank you , (y/n)..."

♦♥♠♣

Tagging : @ji-yaaan @lilyholo @yandere-wishes