#billy come collect ur man

[vivonnz]

Hii can you write hcs if the slasher band au characters went to the bitch

Alsoo welcome back babe hope ur doing alright tt

Thank you so much you're way too sweetღ

``Slashers going to the beach — band au hc``

Warnings: None.

Request list

Brahms Heelshire

• This man was at the beach so much it became his second home. As a child and teen, his parents brought him to vacations to this beach and many others every summer.

• But he spends most of his time in the shadow of the parasol, reading while he sometimes glances at the others.

• He knows how to swim really well, so it wasn't a surprise he went further from the others for pure fun. And whenever he got out he looked like a wet dog.

Billy Lenz

• He has never been to a beach before. So when he had the time to go alongside everyone else, he didn't hesitate.

• Dear God this man swims like a toddler trying to learn how to swim. So he doesn't go deep into the water, only to the side where his feet reach the sand.

• Billy enjoys the water a lot. Like a kid in a bathtub. So he spends most of his time in the water.

Bo sinclair

• He made sure to show off those muscles every chance he got. Boosting his ego was one of his favourite activities.

• Bo never swam in his entire life, at least not since he was a little kid. It can't be that hard right? Well he almost drowned, so I guess it is a bit hard.

• Vincent and Lester helped him learning how to swim, and it was an adorable bonding moment for them.

Vincent Sinclair

• He's such a shy cutie pie it took him a long time till he decided to tag along. But it was worth it.

• Not that he felt insecure, he just never really walked around half naked in front of other people other than his brothers.

• Water was so resfreshing he just swam in it over and over, rarely coming out the whole time.

Lester Sinclair

• He brough all the drinks. And he was the one who drank the most.

• Lester knew how to swim but didn't really go into the water, only when Vinny asked him to so they can swim together.

• He built so many things in the sand it was his favourite actitivity. When Bo lost a bet he buried him into the sand.

Jesse Cromeans

• He's really serious with it, refusing to be chill for a moment. Even though this is the whole point.

• Making sure everything was in the bag, he put on a covering swimsuit and went off to the beach.

• Jesse is good at swimming, but he prefered to put on some suncream and lay on a large towel he brought.

Asa Emory

• He was collecting stuff the WHOLE TIME. Rocks, shells, anything that looked interesting, he took them all.

• Beautiful shells in the sand? Well prepare for them to be snatched and put into an already abnormally giant collection.

• Asa went under the water a lot of times to collect even the smallest bit of beauty the beach had. He also went to further and deeper places and spending so much time there to the point some of the others began to question his wherebeing.

OG Michael Myers (Michael)

• He was stiff as a statue, just sitting and looking at the sea while observing the others.

• Going into the water was a big no no for him, he really didn't want to at all. But he decided to go anyway because of the others nagging him.

• He stood in the water when he went deep enough it reached his chest. And he just stood there. Not bothering himself with moving.

• Then he got bored and got out of the water.

• 10/2 fun. The water was refreshing.

RZ Michael Myers (Mickey)

• He was bolder than Micheal, straight up juming into the water. But he realized it was ice cold so he quickly got out, then went in again now slowly.

• Mickey ate lots of snacks other than wandering around the beach.

• He got bored pretty quickly and joined with Micheal to sit and stare into oblivion.

Extra: Lenzshire ᰔᩚ

• Billy didn't know what to bring other than a towel. Brahms of course took things into his own hands, not letting Billy pack the bag. He didn't understand why Brahms needs so much stuff, but he let him pack since he was the one going to the beach hundreds of times.

• Billy enjoyed staring at Brahms' half naked body a bit too much. Grinning as he proudly held his partner's hand, almost as if he was a bit showing off to some of the fangirls about what a man he has.

• Since Billy doesn't know how to swim Brahms was more than happy to stop his reading for him and help the attic man learn. But he is a horrible learner. However Brahms has always been the patient one, so he was willing to put in the extra work.

• While Brahms was reading Billy listened to music through headphones when they both got tired being in the water and went to lay down in the shadow.

• Billy made so many dirty comments about how good Brahms looks that Brahms became a blushing mess by the end of the day. It always got him to be a mess whenever Billy went full on vulgar. He's just a bit shy, always using sweet words while Billy goes into full detail with full volume in a public space about what he wants to do with Brahms, or what he wants Brahms to do with him.

[tokiro07]

Undead Undead ch. 147 thoughts

[I Have No Voice and I Must Scream]

Look at that cover!!! It’s so cute!!! The Panpandas are such an underutilized concept within Undead Unluck, I really hope we get to see more of them when Tatiana comes back. I feel a little bad for Chikara, though, he’s barely visible under Top and I had a heck of a time figuring out it was even him because I wasn’t sure what I was looking at until I realized we were seeing his bangs covering one of his eyes

I really hope that we’ll get to see the Under crew as Panpandas later too, it’s such a shame to exclude them. I imagine that we’d get that in a cover page with Bunny, though perhaps it could be Tatiana showing Billy her collection or Rip sewing them for Latla? There’s so many ways for this to go, it’d be such a missed opportunity not to! 

Man, I hope they make merch of these...

Oh, also, this is the third color page we’ve gotten in six chapters, currently averaging at one every other chapter for this year! I wonder if perhaps UU will be a bit closer to the front on the next shared cover...?

We cut to Southeast Asia in the country (?) of Buroja, which I had been unable to find when I was researching the South China Sea a few weeks back. I figured that perhaps it was an island nation that I just couldn’t find because it was so small or something, but no. The reason I couldn’t find it is because it isn’t real. Tozuka made it up, presumably to avoid stepping on any toes by referencing a real conflict, but in the process he stepped on mine by making me look a fool. Also, the name Buroja is apparently a reference to one of Tozuka’s favorite things, Gundam, as it’s an anagram for the Jaburo federation. According to David Evelyn, the wounded soldiers we see later even share designs with some pilots from Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam. David also realized that he had missed another Gundam reference much earlier in the series in Andy’s backstory, as the members of his gang were all named after  various Gundam characters! Man, I wonder if I’d be able to get away with making a bunch of Medaka Box references in my work...

We see Tella identifying an airdrop based on the sound, and he determines that they are under-armed. He reports this to Billy with the help of a map that seems to be made so as to allow Billy to read it through touch, confirming that Billy is already blind at this point in his history. I thought he would go blind during his tragedy, but I guess not. I wonder if that will be important, or if he was born that way? If he was born blind, that may explain why he’s such a capable fighter; rather than relearning how to operate without sight, he never learned how to operate with it and wasn’t hampered by the loss. Maybe, I guess we’ll see

We learn that this conflict isn’t exactly political in nature, rather it’s a treasure hunt, with various mercenary groups hired by presumably different nations to find an ancient superweapon: Disc.

As you may recall, Disc was the UFO that Gina was using to scan Lake Baikal to find a UMA back before Andy and Fuuko joined the Union, and ultimately the cause of her death when the on-board laser misfired as a source of Unluck. I had been under the impression that Disc, with its clear resemblance to Gina’s hat, was designed by Nico specifically for Gina’s use. When we later learned that Tatiana’s armor was simply called Sphere, I took that as confirmation that Nico just had terrible naming sense, but now it seems that Disc might actually be an Artifact. Perhaps it’s the ur example of a UFO

Tella worries about handing over Disc to whatever government their group, Horizon Balance, is working for, but Billy reveals that he intends to keep Disc and use it as a deterrent for future conflicts. The thing about mutually assured destruction, though, is that the world saw firsthand what nukes could do; if everyone believes Disc to be a myth, then they’d need to see proof before it can be a deterrent, so Billy’s belief that he’d never need to use it is perhaps a bit optimistic

Billy sends Tella back to camp and asks him to sing for the injured soldiers, as apparently he’s quite good at it, making his inevitable awakening as a Negator even more tragic. Also, I forgot to mention a couple of chapters ago that we got our first good look at Tella’s unmarred face, so I’ll mention it now: Tella’s a lot cuter than I would have guessed. It is 20 years earlier, so obviously he was going to look younger, but I didn’t expect him to have such a babyface. Hell, even Billy looks a lot softer, even though there’s very little different about his design. I think it’s that he doesn’t have that wrinkle under his eyes; what a small detail to much so much of a difference

So Tella sings for the soldiers and tells them he plans to keep all of them alive, but they chide him for being too softhearted to leave an injured soldier behind, which they cite as strategically unsound. Tella’s temper flares when they mention he got his softness from Billy, so I don’t think this is so much an insecurity of Tella’s, but rather a defense of Billy

The soldiers recite Horizon Balance’s oath, which states that their goal is to make the world fair and balanced (hence why Billy ends up becoming the vessel of Unfair), a goal that they are willing to die for if it means that their team can continue the fight. It’s really interesting that Billy was the leader of a group like that only to betray a similar group to lead a group that only has a concept of mutual benefit. It was already stated in the previous loop that Billy founded Under in order to force the Union to meet the conditions for Unfair, but this really drives home how much doing that must have gone against his beliefs and how difficult it must have been for him

Tella leaves the camp to keep watch, and Billy immediately identifies that he’s been crying. Tella accuses him of being able to see, but Billy states that it was clear from the sound of his breathing. I wonder if perhaps Billy’s superhuman hearing will somehow be relevant to Tella’s Rule, if Billy will be able to garner information from Tella that he can’t verbally share? Even if not, Billy and Tella really make an interesting pair: a blind man and a mute man. I’m sure that’ll make for some spicy fanfiction sooner or later

After taking over the watch, Tella realizes that the light airdrop he’d heard earlier was actually a decoy and much more heavily armed tanks are now on track to attack the camp. It is at this exact moment that Tella gains his Rule: Untell. I figured this would be the name after we met UMA Tell during the Ruin Arc, but I still feel like the name itself could use some work. Untold works well for the Rule, but Told doesn’t work as well for the UMA; Untellable also works, and I think that the UMA would probably still be Tell since I can’t imagine there’s a Believable and Avoidable when Belief and Avoid would make more sense

As I’m sure we all expected, Untell negates Tella’s ability to communicate with his body, hence why in ch. 120 we see him talking through a speaker hooked up to his throta and why in the modern day we would see him using speakers that plug into his forehead; presumably neither require any muscular movement, with the latter seeming to work on thought waves. I don’t know how the former would work, though, but the image of Tella with a tube jutting out of his bleeding neck illustrates a very painful process for learning how to circumvent his own “power”

We do see just after the fight with Summer that Tella can use his speakers to intercept attacks, so it’s clear that Tella 100 did figure out how to turn his obviously weak and restrictive ability into a strength and that the current Tella will undoubtedly do the same, likely without the same tribulations. My guess is that Tella interprets the oncoming attacks as incoming communications to him, negating them before they can hit his body. That might be a bit of a stretch, but I can’t think of a better way to describe that usage of his ability

Similar to Unrepair paralyzing a target that tries to stop their bloodflow, Untell paralyzes Tella whenever he tries to perform a communicative action such as pressing a button for Morse code or walking toward someone you want to talk to. It is only after Creed fires on the camp that any sound comes out of Tella’s mouth, the disbelieving and grieving whimpers not meant to reach anyone but only to react

On the subject of Creed, my roommate tells me that the tanks his troupe is using are Russian, implying that Creed may have been hired to find Disc by Russia, so I think there’s a good chance that Horizon Balance is working for the US, but that’s probably not an important detail right now

What is important is that the Union has arrived to defend Horizon Balance from Creed, deflecting enemy fire with Unchange and ready to return fire. I’m guessing that Void, who seems to be holding an attack stance, is meant to keep the enemy from scattering or retreating while Fuuko is going to fire Unluck bullets at the tanks. disarming them while not hurting the people inside. Also, Nico and Ichico can be seen retrieving the injured in the background, so they seem to have this situation pretty well under control

The question now is what role Isshin 12, Yusai and Sean are going to be playing in this battle. Perhaps Isshin made their body armor, Yusai will keep bullets from being fired and Sean will launch some kind of sneak attack? Again, we’ll see next week

Also, I know I pointed it out a few weeks ago, but the Union’s fatigues are so good; Gina in particular looks great in this shot. both because of her outfit and because of her stance. She looks so confident and cool, I love her so much

This chapter went a really long way for endearing me to Tella and continuing to endear me to Billy, I can’t wait to see how Fuuko convinces them to join her cause and how she gets Creed to become an ally rather than an enemy. Will Billy and Creed get their powers at the same time? Will Undecrease be the first victim of the new Unfair, or perhaps will spineless Sean end up viewing Billy as a threat and inadvertently give him Unseen?

This chapter was really good buildup for the coming fight, I can’t wait to see the payoff

Oh, you may also have noticed that I didn’t bring up 2003 again this time (not counting this paragraph). That’s because I’m starting to find it redundant; I’ve expressed my confusion plenty of times by now, and bringing it up every week is just as annoying for me to write as it probably is for you all to read it. For the time being, I’m going to have faith that it will be explained later as either a misunderstanding, events happening earlier like Sean’s birth, or as something more pressing than the majority of other preceding tragedies. Whatever the case, I don’t plan to mention it again until we know the truth for sure, but hopefully that will be sooner than later

[lyriakisser]

AUGHHHHHHHHHHH THE SILLY BILLY CUTEST AND MOST STUPID GUY EVER!!!!!!!!! <33333 OK SO the boy lives in postwick i think it's called? w the protagonist! and his brother is none other than the fucking champion of the region leon!! wow hop u sure were lucky. ANYWAYS he's this super hype guy who loves having fun AND he wants to be the next champion SOSOSO BAD it's crazy. also he loves leon bc yk. he's the champion. who doesn't love the champion <- me AHEM SO u enter the gym challenge and ur rivals and yk how that goes bla bla bla OK SO when u've collected three gym medals smth TERRIBLE happens. u see um........ i uh........ yk so um uhhhhhh............... SIGHS FINE when the protagonist and hop and on their way to the next gym thru the wild area aka place a lots of pokemon um. sighs i/bede appear and um. ummmm uhhhhhhh well u see...... i ask hop for a battle and we battle and when the protagonist reaches the entrance of the next city i appear again....... UM YEAH THAT'S EVERYTHING U NEED TO KNOW AHAHAHA *slaps myself* so since i'm a fucking horrible person hop loses the battle and i tell him he's so weak that no one will think leon is strong. and this gives hop depression for the. rest of the game!! uh yeah ummmmm i wanna kill myself rn um ANYWAYS the guy changed his team WAYYYYYY too much and then he comes back to his main team and he seems to be ok again! kind of? idk sdkjfgkj BUT OFC as a rival he's fated to not become champion. fuck pokemon SO he seems chill abt it BUT THEN after the game ends u have the posgame!! in which two weird guys start dynamaxing pokemon in the gyms bc. idk they want to jdshksd AND OUR DEAR HOP OS DEPRESSED AGAIN BC HE FEELS HE'S NOT STRONG ENOUGH D: the poor guy man...... SO UM u go thru the region defeating those pokemon w him AND piers who's there bc. yes. i love that guy did u know that OH RIGHT me and hop even have an encounter bc yk. i'm a gym leader now dhfksd and we're pretty chill? huh that's weird....... starts having thoughts abt bedehop ANYWAY in the end protagonist and hop catch a fucking legendary and u battle once more AND THEN the new professor pokemon comes and i don't exactly remember what happens but he becomes professor assitant isn't that cool!! yes ofc it is <3 AND SO hop never had depression EVER AGAIN AND TOTALLY NOT BC OF ME <3333 anyways this was long huh. i love hop what can i say

OH RIGHT INFO ABT THE BOY!!!!!!!!!! he's so silly isn't he i love him sm <333 AND UM YEAH I'LL DO ME LATER BC RN I HAVE TO DO MATH KLFHLKAHKFLAGLKALKLKAGFLA

ohmygod he is just like me fr............. ALSO GOOD AS HELL ANALYSIS YOU DID SO WELL HAVE A MEDAL❤️

[plutonicbees]

hate it when I get stuck in bubbles 🙄

[lebenspurpur]

{slashers x fem reader who has a blood kink? sorry if this is against ur boundaries u don’t have to if ur uncomfy!!!} submitted by anon but I accidentally deleted the original ask because I am an idiot.

Also darling, you're fine, all my boundaries got destroyed years ago.

Warnings: blood (duh), knives, a lot of cutting, mentions of self-harm and necrophilia.

Also a female reader this time.

Michael Myers

Oh Michael loves it.

Blood always gets this man going, I think we've established that.

Wait a second.

You want to cut him? *slowly backs off*

Yeah, he doesn't necessarily trust you with a knife.

Michael doesn't mind the pain, his pain endurance is way too high for that. It's just that cutting him would be a dominant action. And Michael really doesn't want to give you dominance.

He'll let himself get cut if he can cut you.

Michael is all for period sex if that's your thing. Be careful though, he is not going to be soft just because you're sensitive.

Michael just thrives off of the fact that, not only are you shedding blood, you're very sensitive and you're in pain as well.

A pure sadist, this man.

Vincent Sinclair

Blood? Doesn't that involve you getting hurt?

Vincent is skeptical.

He really, really doesn't want you to get hurt.

It would turn you on?

Hm.

Let's test it first.

Vincent will be very slow and careful, stopping as soon as he thinks something's wrong.

You have to reassure him to get going quite a lot.

After he realizes what effect blood has on your body, he overthinks it again and then consents.

He's going to create a new and very special safe word for this, just in case he ever really hurts you.

He himself doesn't really mind getting cut, as long as it makes you happy. This man would do anything for your happiness.

To be quite honest, Vincent loves the marks you leave on him. He looks at them in the mirror the next morning, a bashful grin painting his handsome features. I am so soft for Vincent please.

Period sex? Are you sure you're not in pain during that?

Vincent isn't grossed out by body fluids, but he won't go down on you during your time of the month.

His problem with period sex is that you're already hurting and he doesn't want to cause further harm.

He's perfectly fine with just fingering you and receiving blowjob though he can do without those if you don't want to until you're off your period again.

Vincent would literally do anything for you and I'm not kidding.

Bo Sinclair

"Woah there sugar... didn't think you'd be into that."

He's a bit surprised in the beginning.

Period sex is a no for him, don't even bring it up. He'll probably vomit already at the word period.

Him cutting you is totally fine and he likes that if you're fine with it.

However him getting cut is not going to happen.

To make it up to you, he can fuck you after he just killed a victim.

He'll thrust into you, fresh dark-red splashes of blood painted on his face.

"Do you like that? Knowing that I fucking killed a guy and then immediately came in here to fuck the shit outta you? I bet'cha do sugar."

Lester Sinclair

B-..blood?

Lester is pretty concerned until you explain it a bit better.

After that he's still concerned.

Hmm, how about animal blood?

Lester just doesn't want to be in pain and he doesn't want to put you in pain.

If you're fine with non-human blood then he's very relieved, having been scared that you'll leave him.

Please reassure your feelings for him or he's going to worry for months now.

Baby Firefly

She's a bit astonished in the beginning. She just didn't expect that from you, out of all people.

But, being a part of the Firefly family, she's totally down for it!

She'll gladly pepper you in little cuts and then suck at them. Baby loves using her tongue on you anyway so it's a win-win situation.

She's also very open for period sex. After all, she's done worse than eat someone out during their time of the month.

Baby is the best at aftercare. She'll make you a hot bubble bath, clean the cuts and she got sparkly pink band-aids for the both of you!

Otis Driftwood

Did you just say blood? *drags you to his torture room*

Otis... is so down for this.

Can he.. like carve his name into your body?

Oh and can he take a picture of you?

Can he take a picture of you next to a corpse?

You just wanted to see him bloody, god damnit.

Period sex is not something he'd insist on doing but he'll never say no to fucking you.

Billy Loomis

You want to do what?

Billy has never heard of a blood kink before. It reminds him of his love for the red substance though.

The only difference is that he doesn't use real human blood.

It takes a lot of coaxing but after a while he might be okay with cutting you a little bit..

After seeing how much you enjoy it, he might let you cut him too.. but not too deep!

Billy would also really enjoy fucking you after coming home from a kill. He'd be drenched in blood, the red fluid clinging to his chest and slowly smearing onto your back.

He smirks as he spreads the red fluid on your perky nipples, watching you throw your head back and moan shamelessly.

Stu Macher

Sure, why not?

Stu is an incredibly adventurous person, even when it comes to sex.

You trust him and he trusts you so where's the problem?

I don't think Stu would actively enjoy a blood kink but he's not going to say no since you asked him so nicely.

The pure facts that you're getting so aroused from a simple liquid is enough to make him turn feral anyway.

Who needs blood when you can have Y/N begging on her pretty, little knees for your cock?

Brahms Heelshire

"No."

"But-"

"I said no."

Yeah no, blood scares him.

It will need a lot of coaxing to even get him to try it.

I don't think he'd like it very much.

But Brahms will gladly kill the grocery-boy for you if you'd like to see him drenched in someone's blood.

Thomas Hewitt

Blood? Sweetheart, what if you get hurt?

He'll gently cradle your face in his big palms, searching for sincerity in your eyes.

Upon finding it, he'll nod and ask you to explain it to him again.

He'll try it for you. If you're going out of your way to ask this of him, he has to try it in his opinion.

He doesn't like the act of cutting to get either your or his blood and he'd rather have the blood to be his.

Tommy is a big, strong man. He can take a few small cuts.

But you're his tiny, sweet Y/N, he can't cut you?!

So yeah, to get him to cut you will be quite a quest.

As soon as he sees your reaction to blood, he blushes, desire clouding in his brown eyes.

Maybe this is a good idea after all.

He'd still have you or him covered in animal blood, rather than human blood.

Thomas doesn't care if you're on your period or not, but he'll immediately stop when you're in pain.

Just relax Y/N, he'll go get a towel and then he'll take care of his "little problem".

Josef

Blood? But why?

Okay, for you, he might try.

He enjoys it more than he originally thought.

Blood has an important meaning to him too and to see it spread all over your pretty body.. just does things to him.

Period sex is not his thing.

I don't even think he knows how periods work.

Amanda Young |TW SELF HARM|

Amanda has heard about blood kinks before and you can not change my mind.

She's down to try it if you both feel comfortable.

However, Amanda has had struggles with self-harm in her past and would therefore prefer you getting cut.

She just doesn't like willingly adding new scars to her collection.

There's something so arousing about you licking her bloody fingers clean, she can't help but press her thighs together.

Period sex?

She isn't the biggest fan of that idea but fingering you is not a problem to her.

She's kind of confused since her cramps are too painful to get aroused during her period.

Her aftercare is also very good. Amanda always has bandages and band-aids stacked away somewhere and she knows how to deal with the wounds she's left

[glitchstoxicwaste]

I am on my hands and knees for some sorority killer content, just a smidgen of drabble of this cat collecting caller, it can be wholesome, smut, angst, hurt/comfort, anything at all I'm just dying for the atrocious attic man right now, I'll give you my liver if I must🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Please don’t remove your liver-

Here’s something I’ve been brewing in my brain for a little while! Hope you enjoy!!

Slashers | Billy Lenz

A day in the life

TW: Just you and Billy

Continue under the cut!

~Morning~

Every morning you wake up to a happy and hyper man smiling wildly. Bouncing on the balls of his bare feet, pushing down on your arm gently as he landed every time, a soft chant leaving his small, light yellow lips.

“C-come on Piggy, it time to get up.”

A soft groan reverberated through you, the blinds to your window had been opened already with the suns rays directly in your eyes. Closing the eye closest to the window and squinting the other you looked at the man assaulting your arm.

“Five more minutes…”

You grumbled, turning on your side with yo ur back facing him and the blinding light.

“You sa-said that five hours a-ag-ago.”

He retorted, huffing and crossing his arms. You chuckled and pulled the blanket up closer to your face, nuzzling into the warm sheets.

“Then come back to bed with me, when we wake up next is when we get up, if you’re up before me you can wake me up and I will get up. Besides, extra cuddles is something you always whine at me for, so you’ll be getting some more today. Deal?”

He gasped and jumped into the bed behind you, wrapping his arms tight around your waist and pulling you against his body. His face nuzzling into the crook of your neck, the tip of his nose chilled and pressing against your warm skin, though you didn’t mind.

A few seconds of peaceful coexistence went by until you felt his hands working under your shirt, pushing his pelvis against your plump rear. Your breathing hitched and you whined softly. You were about to speak before you were cut off abruptly by chilly fingers quickly attacking your tickle spots, laughing as you attempted to make him stop, thin he may be, but weak he is not.

“OKAY! OKAY IM UP BILLY! PLEASE STOP!”

You shouted between fits of laughter, wheezing, and snorting. He stopped attacking you and smiled, peppering your face in kisses.

Once you are up, dressed, clean, and in the kitchen, your making breakfast for you both.

~Afternoon~

On the couch with the slender man sprawled out on top of you, watching movies to entertain you both, it’s amazing to you both.

His face planted onto your chest as he squeezes you, a tight hug. You chuckle and look down at him, a smile on both of you.

Sleep soon takes over as you nap in a pile of limbs tangled together.

~Evening~

Making dinner with him is difficult at times, he’s wrapped around you and sometimes refuses to let you move and grab something you need for the food.

When it’s done and you all ate, you both do the dishes to mark it faster and more fun. Just enjoying one another.

~Night time~

Sometimes it’s a steamy session, but most nights it’s limbs latched to one another, bodies closer than ever, basking in warmth and comfort as you both are passed out cold snoring and drooling away.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[mrsblackruby]

Truly my blog is screaming all day about stuff I’m interested in but sometimes I promise y’all I make edits, art, and write shit. Ik It’s hard to believe that tho 💀

Important disclaimer: I MAINLY STAN CHARACTERS WHO I THINK WOULD BE BITCHY ANARCHIST LIKE ME BUT USUALLY HAVE THEIR SHIT MORE TOGETHER THAN ME.

PUNKS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN AND YOU CAN’T HAVE FUN FUN UNLESS YOU DESTROY RACISM AND CAPITALISM!!!

MY CASE FOR RAT MAN INDEX

Me reading to much into the politics of Billy Hargrove/ Harringrove

(This 1st part is a STAND ALONE POST 4 people who don’t care or don’t have the time for the rest of my case but want an overview of my argument. You can also still read it with the rest of my series if interested and the post is still kinda long tho… keep that in mind if you choose to read;)

“The 5 part series”

The Harassment of Billy Hargrove fans #1

The Harassment of Billy Hargrove fans #2

The Harassment of Billy Hargrove fans #3

The Harassment of Billy Hargrove fans #4

The Harassment of Billy Hargrove fans #5

The Final Part😭

Podcast response to an ask because I am chaotic: Will The Billy Hargrove/ Harringrove Fandom Ever Know Peace 😭

(Hopefully this is the only podcast response I ever have to do. But, Hey! let me know if you found it helpful tho… cuz if I ever do another I will up the quality.)

A little Bonus: Billy Hargrove Meta Just a tragedy

The stranger things fandom in general needs more critical thinking skills

Lol feelings mutual u alone aren’t the problem

Harringrove meta warning ur gonna get the🥾

Sticks and stones I hate it here fandom meta more fandom meta

It’s my drug drives me crazy my hottest take

Capitalist fuckery from Netflix what I am💀

ME SOUNDING LIKE A HIPPEIE

PUTTING IT INTO WORDS

Take a CLEAR stand.

This is a Nancy wheeler hate blog

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME BILLY’S LAWYER IN MY DOWN TIME BUT I’M GONNA QUIT IF I DON’T START GETTING PAID

Take a shot every time you see this emoji

🤦🏿‍♀️

I don’t know why I did this to myself no one asked me to do it, I mostly made this for Billy fans so we can all scream together collectively in the chaos

My intent I think kinda

Case Closed

Verdict: Billy is my ratson who deserves better!!!

If you are sensitive to topics of online harassment but want to interact with my fan content pls filter out tw fandom discourse tag

I’m gonna make an attempt to have tags from now on for #fandom and #non fandom filter as needed if you wanna see both don’t filter

Hopefully coming soon don’t expect it tho I’m unreliable…

An actual depiction of racism I connect to personally.

Patrick meta

Character guides for my fanfic Townie

YouTube link

Navigation 4 tags lol

IN THIS HOUSE WE STAN HOBIE BROWN

We love SPIDER PUNK 🕸

No saying Hobie is 23 ain’t harmful go somewhere else with your made up problems <- funny Hobie Brown age discourse meta

Don’t try to completely turn the idea of an indefinite strike down

My case might be closed but I’m still willing to defend/ support any Billy fans who find themselves dealing with online harassment. Only if they want my help of course. (And as long as I’m on tumblr or until I find it overwhelming)

Love to the Billy fandom🥰! Thank you 4 uplifting my perspective! I call this series a success because of all the support I got 💕 there’s no problem taking joy in weirdly specific interests that give you comfort… this fandom has done nothing inherently worse than other fandoms except distracting me from my college assignments. Y’all really do make my day a special one. This is a love letter to prove that! If anyone ever gives you heat 4 liking Billy(there an ass and) I want y’all to know I have found it very soothing to reread these blog posts just reassuring myself I’m not a bad person for liking a fictional character.

Also I don’t mind people sharing this on any platform…I’m made this as a resources for those who care about the issue and don’t want to participate in the behavior I put into question so if you choose to share my case on any other platforms on the internet I do not mind. Just please remember to be kind.

I found this conversation very thought provoking… now my blog will probably just be Harringrove shit posting, Billy theories, other hyper-fixations of mine, politics, might do a fanfic here or there, might do some edits if I have the time, and I might get in some Billy discourse now and then but not nearly as much as I use 2.

You know one ☝️ thing I might consider doing is sharing my dumbass opinion on media/medium relationships with the audience and how it interacts/overlaps/ manifest in abuse culture. The only reason I’m hesitant to do that is because that’s a much deeper larger discussion that deserves way more care/ research than my Billy Hargrove defense case. I’m also not an expert and I don’t want to misinform just share my opinions on the internet. idk tho 🤷🏿‍♀️I might not do it. If I do might not put it in tags just have it available for my followers. Bruh don’t even get me started cuz I could get into the politics of any media I watch on my free time. I could write a book about it lol 😆

I’m very new to tumblr so I hope I didn’t do anything that goes against etiquette and if I did pls let me know.

[psychdelia]

here are some steve hcs bc i feel like i don’t give our big sweet loving affectionate himbo enough attention on here

- idk what this kink would be called but steve 100% gets off on pleasuring others. that man is a walking service top with a praise/body worship kink but like,,, for his partners?? steve is just good at sex and making people feel good makes him feel good.

- there’s a tik tok about this that i’ll link under the replies but he definitely shovels food into his mouth in front of people he’s comfortable with. at first he’s all polite at the table, clean and mannerly like he was taught. cut to a month later and he’s sitting there with food all over his mouth and chin, cheeks full like a chipmunk. billy thinks it’s gross but it’s so endearing.

- speaking of food, food is the way to his heart. i hc steve as a taurus (me, once again, projecting onto these boys) and we Love food ok it just makes sense for him to be ready to propose to and marry billy whenever he buys steve like a bag of chips or something.

- steve cooks and billy bakes. he always drags billy into the kitchen or traps him in when he comes for a snack to shove a spoon of sauce into his mouth to make him try it. he loves watching billy eat his cooking, can sit there for hours with love in his eyes as billy moans around a mouthful of lasagna (nonna’s recipe only of course).

- i don’t wanna say he gets chubby exactly but he does grow a bit after high school. his tummy gets a little soft at scoops bc unlimited ice cream. post s3 he muscles up, gains some healthy weight. he looks a lot healthier, esp compared to him in high school, and he gets stronger.

- billy is the one who prefers babies/toddlers/young kids while steve prefers older kids/pre teens/early teens. babies overwhelm him and when they cry in his arms he just “nope. take ur kid” and hands it back off to its parent.

- i know steve not being close to his parents is a popular hc but i feel like him and his mom have a good relationship. his dad can be a hard ass with high expectations but she’s always been the more fun, easygoing parent. she’s a lot like her mom, his nonna, and they get along so well. he’s a mamas boy i don’t make the rules.

- before him and billy have sex he goes to the library and hides in the corner reading anatomy and sex education books about the wonders of the prostate and different kinks. basically studies on how to make sure everything goes well and safe and is pleasurable for both him and billy.

- he’s not a crier but his thoughts and emotions are super easy to read through his expressions. you know how babies have certain cries that show what they want in the moment?? (hungry cry, fake attention cry, etc.) thats steve’s facial expressions. he has a specific face for each emotion or thought (i hope that makes sense????) oh he also definitely pouts when he doesn’t get his way or when billy ignores him.

- he loves dogs and can play with them all day long until they’re both panting and exhausted. he doesn’t think he’s a cat person until he meets billy (who is also a cat person) and billy is just a big cat in human form so this realization just makes steve love all animals. him and billy adopt a cat post s3 and she hates steve at first but he eventually wins her over through lots of treats and gentle pets - similar to how he got billy to trust him after starcourt (strawberry milkshakes and hugs)

- his dick is very big and very pretty and he knows how to use it but we all collectively agree on this

[enchantedchocolatebars]

um hi! if ur doing requests could you do jack o lantern (billy and mandy) x reader headcanons?

Ooo, of course, Anon!😀😀😀 Thank you for sending this in!🎃💕🎃💕🎃💕 (Sorry if this took too long @anon!)

Jack O'Lantern (Jack) x Reader Headcanons🎃❤️

• It was Halloween night in the town of Endsville as you went from door to door collecting tasty treats! When you rung the doorbell of the last house you were visiting for tonight, the being who opened it caught you by surprise! It was man who had a pumpkin for a head! Said man looked quite annoyed seeing you on his porch.

• You brightly beamed out a "trick-or-treat!" as you happily held up your bucket for him to place candy inside. The pumpkin looked at the bag, then at you before his lips curved into a sly smirk, asking you "politely", to hold on for a second as he has the perfect "treat" for you. When he returns, he comes back with a skunk in his hand and throws it into your plastic pumpkin as he laughed hysterically and shut the door right in your face.

• This upset you to no end as you hatch up a plan to 'return the favor' to the Jack O'Lantern.

• The next day, you went up to the pumpkin's door and rang his doorbell. When he opened it, you immediately gave to him a thank you card. He was a bit dumbfounded by the offer as he took the card. When he slowly opened it, a pie somehow flies out and hits him smack in the face.

• He's a bit stunned by the attack, but soon his orange face turns red with anger. The anger soon turns to playful, jolly laughter as he gives you a wicked grin.

• THIS. MEANT. WAR. A prank war of course!

• The prank war between you two eventually turns into a friendship.

• You and him go around Endsville pranking the snot out of the stupid citizens there.

• Every Halloween night you and Jack hatch a plan and work together to take the Grim Reaper's sycthe right out of his boney hands and revive his pumpkin minion army in order to make it Halloween forever!

[ambitionsource]

wait i actually have more weirdly specific questions (if ur up to it) - how do the kids feel about poetry? do they follow any sports? what childhood tv shows were their favs? do they have celebrity crushes? fav coming of age movie? how are they doing in quarantine? what time in history were they obsessed w as a kid? have they ever been to summer camp? what type of candles do they like? what song do they cry to? how do they drink their coffee/tea sorry if u’ve answered already/too many questions

wooooo thank you for your patience iz!! we’re gonna go point by point

poetry?

charlie loves it genuinely and will read it for fun. riley likes it enough but doesn’t go out of her way to read it. farkle loves coming up with insane explanations for the metaphors and is smug about interpreting it in class. zay doesn’t care for it, neither does lucas. asher appreciates it but finds it boring; dylan likes it for the same reason farkle does, only not to look smart but to come up with something completely crackheaded to combat farkle’s interpretation (which he can’t then say isn’t correct, bc its poetry, so all interpretations are valid!). isa doesn’t like it because she doesn’t get the metaphors on paper the same way she can pick them up in film. maya hates it even though multiple people have pointed out that song lyrics are basically poetry -- she will tune you out.

sports?

sports aren’t Big at aaa (aside from dance), but there are remnants here and there. riley follows basketball of course -- even tho as demonstrated in 110, she cannot play it to save herself -- and she tried out for cheer in 9th grade at her old school but was rejected from the squad (another bad mark on a terrible year). farkle prefers wii sports over any actual sport, but will sometimes watch golf with stuart because it’s quality time with his very busy father. charlie did soccer when he was younger before it got phased out by dance and semi keeps up with it. dylan also “played” soccer, but this meant the other little league teammates getting pissed at him bc he never paid attention to the game and was just like “hey! hey, dennis, look at this!” and did like 3 cartwheels across the field. it was a smart move when randall pulled him from the team bc those intense soccer moms were gonna like beat them up fDJSKG. so now dylan is just an unofficial gymnast instead.

isa doesn’t like sports but played them a lot with foster siblings, and even though she sucks she gets very competitive. lucas liked baseball and was good at track in middle school, but he never thought about doing a sport for real because he knew he was going to quincy eventually where his dad is a coach... yeah. no. but he’s great at running fast from the police!

maya hates sports (aside from the art of dance). waste of time, waste of energy. asher has never done a sport nor ever contemplated a sport. the most Sport he’s endured is going with jade to support dave at his swim meets (where nigel also does swim) and suffice to say, asher wasn’t there to look at the swimming.

childhood tv?

dylan to this day is a spongebob squarepants STAN. legend, icon, scholar, best television show ever made, in his opinion. he also was well-versed in pokemon, adventure time, gravity falls, and phineas and ferb. asher and lucas both didn’t watch lots of tv growing up (if at all), so dylan considers it his job to give asher a thorough education in the quality tv he missed as a kid.

maya was all over hannah montana (miley is still a role model to this day for her), and she, zay, and charlie all remember the fever dream that was shake it up. zay especially loved it bc he was (is) obsessed with zendaya. zay and maya both also watched victorious. charlie was sharing a tv with four siblings so he just ended up watching whatever the dominant sister that day wanted to watch. riley was a disney channel girl, and farkle was a pbs scholar (arthur, cyber chase, fetch! with ruff ruff man... classics).

 celebrity crushes?

zay = zendaya (as previously mentioned). charlie = harry styles to a major degree, although his Cover Story would be zendaya if you asked (ironically). maya = britney spears (but in a I Want To Be Her way, major idolization rather than attraction) and technically the same for valerie de la cruz but like... rip to that lmao. isa = loki, yes we know, but sometimes it be that way (altho that does extend a little bit towards tom hiddleston in general). asher = logan lerman, aka the main valid white boy who dresses nice, is polite and soft-spoken, and minds his own business (not to mention he is the Same Type as dylan). dylan = had crushes more on like... personalities so like ash ketchum and percy jackson, and now its irrelevant bc he met asher and became obsessed and its like every other potential crush just flew out the window of his brain. it’s full asher territory in there nowadays.

riley doesn’t have a specific one, she thinks lots of people are Pretty but no one particularly strongly. farkle doesn’t have one because he’s insane and doesn’t have the mental capacity. lucas doesn’t have one because he’s demi and also hates most celebrities as people.

coming-of-age movie?

maya’s is mean girls. farkle’s is ladybird. zay’s is easy a. riley’s is bend it like beckham. isadora’s is eighth grade. charlie’s is dead poet’s society. asher’s is perks of being a wallflower. dylan’s is spiderman: into the spiderverse. lucas doesn’t know movies.

quarantine?

we’ve somewhat discussed this before, but ultimately es and i elected to let aaa remain in a nice, calm universe where they don’t have to endure covid. lucky them. blow a kiss to the ether for us, buds,

fave time in history?

riley is huge on ancient greece and greek mythology. maya loves the theatricality and Drama of the roaring 20s (a baby flapper at heart). zay vibes hard with the 80s. charlie likes the fashion and romanticism and music and art of the 70s (that sort of flowery positivity clashing with the rebelliousness of the movements of the 60s... yeah. that hits something in him). farkle’s is the great depression not only bc he’s an emo but also all the raw and desperate art that came out of it. isadora was a egyptian mythology kid. i know lucas sounds lame (he is), but i don’t think he cares about history -- but if pushed he’d probably say the 90s bc he dresses like he’s straight out of there, everyone was angry rocking, and he wasn’t born. asher likes the victorian era bc of the sheer elegance and Aesthetic to everything. dylan doesn’t have a favorite time period because due to being the subconscious multiverse conduit (i.e. the being that is somewhat connected to every other version of himself) sometimes he wakes up and for a minute he doesn’t even know what year it is 🤪anyway...

summer camp?

charlie has been to many a christian youth summer camp. zay went to the kossal program, but that was basically it. lucas no although he probably wished he could be anywhere else during the summer sometimes including a camp he would hate. riley went for a few years in elementary school. isa has gone to a couple of “foster kid” summer camp bonding things that she despised. farkle went to jewish summer camp One time and was like that was HORRIBLE, never make me spend a whole summer outside AGAIN. asher was more of a Enrichment courses at the rec center during the summer kid than a camper. dylan no because the orlandos couldn’t afford something like that. same for maya.

candles?

riley has a small variety of scented ones that are like... warm scents, like cinnamon and stuff. asher a couple that smell like clean linen but his fear of accidental fires keeps him from ever lighting them. maya has one and it smells like “star power,” a gift from her mom one christmas. isadora can’t have any because many of her foster homes don’t allow them. lucas legally shouldn’t be allowed anything that catches on fire. dylan doesn’t have one but similarly should not be given one. the minki have a whole collection for different things so farkle can just pluck one at any time if he needs one like for a super fancy bath or whatever the fuck rich people do.

mental breakdown song?

charlie’s are “falling” and “from the dining table” by harry styles.

riley’s is “manhattan” by sara bareilles and “rainbow” by kacey musgraves.

zay’s are “imagine” by ariana and “dear life” from the step up soundtrack (post zc breakup).

farkle’s are “vienna” by billy joel and “get it right” from glee.

asher’s is “don’t cry” by ruel.

isa’s is “you are my sunshine” because valerie used to sing it to her a lot when she was really little, so it will always make her a little emotional.

dylan’s (although rare) are “soon you’ll get better” by ts and “make you feel my love” by adele. the second one is because his mom loved adele when she was just starting out bc 19 was released the same year that she passed away so there’s a lot of like subconscious association there even if he doesn’t realize it.

maya doesn’t have one, and lucas also doesn’t have one because in the rare moments he does cry its in his closet in the dark silence alone bc he literally can’t stand the sentience of knowing he’s crying so. sensory blackout.

coffee / tea?

riley will add at least 3 sugars to anything, but she’s ultimately an iced tea gal. lucas drinks it black but only because it never occurred to him to add anything to it and so it’s a big wake up call when he realizes you can drink it and have it NOT be bitter and horrible and demoralizing ( “i thought we were all just suffering for the caffeine fix??” ). isa is a tea girl mostly, although she wishes she could drink black coffee for the aesthetic (and hates that lucas can... it’s like... he didn’t even Earn that aestheticism, smh). asher doesn’t drink caffeine bc it makes him Jittery (and he’s already jittery) so he’s like... the lemonade bitch at coffee shops which kin, and then dylan definitely drinks caffeine but not thru coffee, he’s more likely to get like a hot chocolate.

farkle lives on coffee but he can only drink it from home because they’re rich and can have like fresh ground good imported whatever the heck etc etc so he’s like spoiled about coffee. zay will hit up a starbucks now and then and will order coffee at a diner, but he’s not too attached either way. maya is a fun n free starbucks gal with her frappes and lattes and lots of cream (whipped or otherwise). charlie doesn’t drink coffee or tea bc hes hyper aware of his body and health (he doesn’t really have soda either) and it was frowned upon in his house.

[itsmebilly]

billy put my fingers in ur mouth n bite them challenge

That pesky sun lowered. Colors flooded the sky like an artist pouring acrylic. Glazing silicon over the world to create a beautiful, separated cell effect. Pink and peachy with plum undertones. Dark hues gradually expanding and taking over the canvas. Breathtaking shades shifting into the darkest part of the spectrum. Black.

Snow contrasted against darkness. Blessing a particularly empty night. Powdery white collected along the sidewalk. The temperature had to be in single digits now. Below 6°F.

This proved to be a problem for our lonely, homeless, estranged man. Hot breath converted to puffs of visible smoke as he heaved. On the brink of developing frostbite. Jack Frost nipped at his button nose and turned it a bright red.

"Gotta get warm." Thought the man. He trudged through the yard of an unsuspecting, but we'll come to know as daring, person. Tan boots leaving large tracks. All the way to a window nestled on the side of a house.

As he peeps through the window, he watches someone switch off a light. No one seemed to be downstairs for the time being.

Sometimes you must act stupid. Or, daring, in his mind. He turns a bronze, conveniently unlocked knob. His stupidity for entering the house through the front door was just as questionable as his other option. The reasoning? It would be idiotic to scale up to a higher level via lattice when his victim is on that floor! They'd hear him! His nasty, loud breathing.

Following in the steps of his victim, the intruder traverses the stairs. Hand stroking up the glossy railing with care as he looks around at the living space. It's dark upstairs. Silent until someone switches off a light in their room.

He waits a minute. Then, he proceeds. Stalking slowly. Stepping into the open bedroom. To that comfy-looking mattress and a sleeping bump cuddled partially under a blanket.

For a moment, he stares at their body. Down their exposed arms. Up at a peaceful face.

"It's me, Billy." Finally. A name to the... indiscernible apparition standing tall.

Billy smooths his hand over their wrist, picking it up. It's still limp from a sleepy haze.

For no reason in particular, he kisses their fingertips. Billy slides two fingers in, and bites down on them like a teething puppy.

[palmettoes]

Aaron/Katelyn 61

(hehe this has only been sitting in my inbox for uhh 6 months i am so sorry! anyway !!!! never written aaron/katelyn before !!! also haven’t written m/f fanfiction since i was 13 but i love these kids thanks for giving me a reason to make up katelyn’s whole backstory)

disclaimer: if ur pro inc*st u are legally not allowed to touch anything i write

read it on ao3! | prompts are closed :(

61. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”

Katelyn, eight years old, loses her mother to white lights and hospital beds. It’s preventable, low mortality rate, chance of survival looks hopeful. Katelyn knows this because she looks it up on her dad’s old box computer when he’s working late one night, her older brother playing outdated records too loudly to notice her disappearing into their father’s private study. Katelyn knows this because the doctors tell her so—not in so many words, because she’s eight, but enough that she knows they are optimistic about the results.

Katelyn, eight years old, wonders why doctors can juggle something so fragile as a life playfully among them and lie through their teeth when they catch the corner of an eye.

Katelyn, eighteen years old, is determined not to be like other doctors. Getting into biochemistry at university feels like winning the sprint but losing the marathon. Her professors crack down on the workload immediately, adamant that medicine is not for those who do not want to be there. And Katelyn wants to be there, maybe more than anyone else, but life has already dealt her so much weight and Katelyn is fast running out of strength to lift these stooped shoulders.

She tries out for the Vixens, Palmetto’s cheerleading team, mostly because her roommate, Marissa, waxes poetic about the nights she’ll spend huddled between football players in one of the downtown bars, and Katelyn figures she could do with the extracurricular.

(The exy team does not factor into her decision, but gossip travels far and fast and the idea of standing in close quarters to them puts her on edge for reasons that can only be explained through hollow whispers and stolen glances behind their backs.)

The Vixens are a rough and tumble team, from the figure eight pattern of cigarette burns on Marissa’s forearm, to the handful of Zoloft Anaïs throws up in her dorm toilet during Freshers’ Week, to the way Billie sleeps with their chin tucked over their shoulder so they can watch their own back. Katelyn is just scraping this side of nineteen, knows the weight of Prozac on her tongue better than that of a meal, and cannot remember the last time her father looked at her without looking right through her. Inexorably, Palmetto State University feels like home.

“How about that backliner though? He’s a tall, dark stranger I’d welcome into my crystal ball,” Marissa says, shaking her pom pom in Anaïs’ face as they stumble towards the bus the night after Palmetto’s first exy game of the season. Anaïs bats Marissa’s arm away, switching her duffel to her other shoulder to put an extra distance between them.

“Didn’t notice. It’s their offensive dealer that I was paying attention to.”

“Their captain.” (It sounds like an innuendo but almost everything does coming out of Marissa’s mouth.) “Anyway, I heard from Mick on the football team that Ainsley told Prati that Mia sits with two of the exy players at lunch on Tuesdays and apparently Mr Tall and Dark is hitting it with the captain. Isn’t that a sandwich you’d love to get between?”

“Not particularly.”

“Boo, you whore.”

Marissa shakes her pom pom again and Anaïs’ shove gains force.

“Don’t boo me because I’m gay.”

Billie taps Katelyn’s elbow and rolls their eyes at the other two, sweeping an arm out to offer Katelyn to climb ahead of them onto the bus. Katelyn hitches her duffel a little higher and climbs the steps. Anaïs likes the seat over the wheel so Katelyn chooses the row in front, tucking her bag under her seat so Billie can settle next to her. Anaïs and Marissa scramble in behind them, still bickering over the attraction of various exy players. Katelyn glances out the window and catches sight of an orange and white gaggle making their way to the other PSU bus parked outside Breckenridge stadium. Mr Tall and Dark backliner is holding hands with the captain but chatting to a lanky boy with a frown too many shades short of pleasant. Most of the Foxes move as a unit, a crowd collected behind their coach, but several steps and a whole chasm behind them trails the remainder of the team.

Katelyn recognises assistant coach Kevin Day because, as strong as her distaste for the sport, she grew up this side of the turn of the century. She doesn’t think she could miss Kevin Day if she tried. He is flanked by two identical blond men and an emphatic, dark-skinned man a head or so above the other two. Katelyn had watched one of the twins block the goal all night with a ferocity like he was exercising a personal vendetta against the ball, seen the other punch an opposing striker square in the jaw seemingly unprovoked. She shudders, remembering the rumours she’d heard whispered about the exy team and, for the first time, believing them. She turns away from the window and bumps Billie’s shoulder with her own, pushing blond hair and murderous glares from her mind.

*

The thing is, Katelyn has no reason to engage with the exy team. She cheers at their games and catches glimpses of them between stadium and parking lot, but she doesn’t learn their names or dance with them at college parties the way she does with the football team.

The thing is, Katelyn’s hands are full enough already. She is unofficially deemed in charge of the first year Vixens—some combination of the fact that Marissa listens when Katelyn tells her to shut up, and Anaïs trusts her enough to press a pill bottle into her hand after her second overdose in as many weeks, and Billie talks to her more than anyone because Katelyn is the only one who speaks ASL. Katelyn finds she doesn’t mind it. The constant demand for attention makes a welcome difference to the stony silence of her family home. With homework, cheerleading, and three new best friends keeping her busy, Katelyn barely has time to dwell on the hollow feeling that has been cutting her chest open for the past decade.

The thing is, the short blond boy from the exy team is hard to miss. (Well, one of them is anyway.) Katelyn figures out he’s the backliner, the one she saw punching that striker from Breckenridge, and not the one that sticks to Kevin Day like glue, or a prickly burr. He crops up in her biochem lectures, at her favourite campus café, tucked behind a bookshelf at the library across from her and Billie’s usual study spot. He is always accompanied by at least one of his little posse, usually the noisy one, except during their shared lectures. Katelyn finds herself seeking him out when she enters the room and, more often than not, she catches him blinking back at her.

They’re two thirds through their first quarter by the time she learns his name. He stops by her desk on the way out of the lecture hall, causing her notebook to slip out of her hand in surprise. He kneels to pick it up for her and doesn’t smile, but there’s a friendliness to his eyes that Katelyn has never seen before.

“Katelyn, right?” he asks. Katelyn has no idea how he knows this but she nods instead of questioning it. “Aaron. Did you get notes on Voltolini’s lecture this week? I missed it.”

She’s so caught out by the disruption to their routine, by the brittle edge to his voice that she hadn’t expected, by the abrupt introduction to the quarter-long suspense of wondering his name, that she almost forgets to answer. When she realises she’s been staring at him for coming on ten seconds, she shakes it out of her system and finishes zipping up her backpack.

“Oh. Yeah, did you want to borrow them? Or,” she swings the strap of her backpack over her shoulder and steps towards the door, Aaron falling into pace beside her, “we could go over them together?”

He is quiet for a moment, as if the question requires extensive thought. Katelyn wonders briefly if she should be offended by his lack of immediate interest, but decides she finds it endearing that the authenticity of his response matters so much to him.

“At the library?” he offers. “I have a study period now.”

“Sure,” she says. She’d been headed that way to meet Billie anyway and doesn’t suppose they’ll mind the small intrusion.

“So how come you missed the lecture?” she asks when it becomes apparent their trek to the library will remain otherwise silent.

“Andrew,” Aaron says vaguely, waving his hand as though this is sufficient enough an explanation. When Katelyn doesn’t look convinced, he adds, “My brother. You’ve seen him?”

She nods, not totally understanding but realising it’s personal enough that she doesn’t want to pry.

Billie is already sitting at their table when Katelyn arrives, Aaron in tow. They have printouts of various articles spread across the desk and a focused frown on their face, but they look up when Katelyn and Aaron stop in front of them.

“Aaron, this is Billie. Billie, Aaron. From the exy team.”

Billie waves at Aaron, then pierces Katelyn with their gaze, tilting their head slightly in Aaron’s direction.

“Do you speak ASL?” Katelyn asks him as she pulls out a chair and begins unpacking her bag. Aaron settles into the seat next to her, tapping the tabletop anxiously.

“No. Was that in the lecture?”

“No, no, of course not. Don’t worry about it.” Katelyn laughs lightly and makes eye contact with Billie.

“Since when do we hang out with exy players?” they sign, eyes flicking to Aaron.

“He’s borrowing some notes. What’s wrong with being friendly?” she signs back. Billie shrugs and turns back to their articles. Katelyn flicks open her notebook and grins at Aaron.

“Let’s do this,” she says. His responding smile is small and fleeting but Katelyn catches the hard upturn of his lips and her skin tingles all over.

*

Aaron falls easily into place among Katelyn’s friends. He becomes a regular at their study sessions, reading notes over Katelyn’s shoulder or catching her eye across the table with that same smile like a secret that hurts his throat on the way up. He never brings any of his teammates, but Katelyn can’t complain. Study Aaron and Exy Aaron, she decides, are two sides of the same coin. He’s softer around her and her friends, all secret smiles and nervous tapping. She can’t imagine Study Aaron punching anyone in the face.

He spills into her other routines intrinsically. She stops making excuses to invite him out for coffee or to lunch or on a walk around the campus green when she’s feeling antsy. She struggles to remember a time when the sight of him intimidated her, when she believed the rumours turning the air sour at his heels wherever he walked.

Katie he calls her from across the hall to grab her attention, and Kate when he talks about her to her friends, and K (intimate and familiar and warm in her chest) over text. Katie-Lyn he teases when they’re alone on one of their walks and he relaxes enough that his smile stops looking like barbed wire. She laughs and elbows him and writes Double-A-Ron on the back of folded notes they pass between them during lectures.

Katelyn doesn’t engage with the exy team, but every rule has its exceptions and Aaron is hers. Brilliant, beautiful Aaron, who keeps his smiles a secret and his family a mystery and who holds her gaze across a crowded hallway like it is the most fragile of things.

They never call it dating, though Katelyn suspects that might be what it is. She hardly qualifies as an expert but the shared lunches and secret notes and blushing eye contact feel too reminiscent of her high school girlfriend to be anything else. (She asks Billie, once, if they think Aaron thinks they’re a couple and they roll their eyes and wave her off. She cannot bring herself to put up with Marissa’s crowing long enough to ask for another opinion.) So it’s hard to say where he falls in the categories of her relationships, but when she invites him out for dinner he doesn’t say no and, though she doesn’t call it a date, it doesn’t feel platonic.

They go to an Italian restaurant on campus, partly because Katelyn figures everyone likes pizza and partly because Marissa says the sundae for two is a date-saver. (Not that Katelyn likes to think their sort-of-date will need saving, but it’s always nice to be prepared.) And she’s right, because Aaron does like pizza and the sundae is delicious and the date doesn’t need saving. Until it does.

“I had to beg Nicky to cover for me tonight,” Aaron is saying, no trace of the curl Katelyn has come to search for at the corner of his lips. “He doesn’t like disrupting the balance.”

Katelyn isn’t sure she follows but she doesn’t have to ask to know the only explanation she’ll get is Andrew. His name is the answer to every question, no matter how she phrases it. His name is the flat line of Aaron’s mouth and the fierce swing of his uppercut. His name is the undeniable truth behind the rumours that tail Aaron wherever he goes.

“We can’t do this,” Aaron says and the ice cream turns to dust in Katelyn’s mouth. She thinks bitterly that at least she can prove Marissa wrong; no sundae for two is saving this date.

“Do what?” she asks and her voice is too small for her mouth. She is eight years old and Aaron is the doctor dangling hope too far out of her reach.

“You, me, us,” he says, frustrated and lonely and scared all at once. “You can’t fall in love with me.”

It aches in more ways than she could have known it would. Because how do you predict the outcome when you’re missing the beginning? How do you prepare for the fallout when you aren’t part of the equation? When you’re just collateral damage?

“Says who?” Katelyn asks, and then, “Andrew” in unison with Aaron because, of course. Because, who else?

Aaron’s cheek dimples between his teeth and he lets his spoon clang against the rim of their shared bowl. Katelyn pushes hers through the half-melted ice cream, appetite fast disappearing. She wants to demand answers or argue the absurdity of their situation or maybe just cry. Instead, she folds.

“Okay,” she says.

“Okay?”

“I get it. It’s okay.”

She doesn’t get it, but Aaron looks at her like she’s handing him the moon so she breathes through her nose, counts to five, and offers him a shaky smile. Moulding herself into the shapes other people need her to be is Katelyn’s specialty. She grew up a chameleon in order to survive. This is no different to her father looking at her like he needed a clinically detached housemaid more than he needed a daughter mourning the loss of her mother.

“Ready to call it a night?” she says, because there is something irreparable in the air between them.

“I’ll walk you back,” Aaron agrees.

They say goodnight outside Katelyn’s dorm building, but what they mean is goodbye. What they mean is this is it. What they mean is we had a good thing and neither of us are good enough people to deserve that.

Katelyn, nineteen-and-three-quarter years old, watches hope shatter in all too familiar shards.

*

They never called it dating, so they don’t call it a break up, but that’s what it feels like. It is broken where Katelyn can’t reach to fix it because she does not know what fractured it to begin with. There is a week between Katelyn’s return home for the holidays and her brother’s scheduled time off, during which the silence of her childhood home sits heavy on her shoulders. She passes the time under a mound of blankets, drowning out her father’s refusal to acknowledge her with television static.

When Antoni returns, so does the life slowly trickling out of the air. He wields noise like a blade to the abrasive reticence of their home, and goads Katelyn out of bed to help him make potato fritters.

“Chiquita, college has made you so mopey,” he says, watching her instead of the eggs he’s whisking. Katelyn slices onions and pretends they are the only reason her eyes sting.

“More like being in this house makes me mopey. College keeps me too busy for that.”

Antoni hums, and watches her, and whisks his eggs.

“And how is college? Top of your class yet?”

Katelyn rolls her eyes but tells him about her lectures and her friends and her cheer practice. She finishes with the onions and starts combining the second bowl of mixture while Antoni scoops the first into misshapen ovals. When the fritters are under the grill and Katelyn’s eyes have stopped stinging altogether, Antoni pours them each a glass of iced tea and leans across the kitchen island to smile at her.

“So has the little Vixen caught a Fox yet?” He pauses to consider her a moment. “Or another Vixen perhaps?”

Katelyn sucks in a breath but doesn’t answer the question, and the silence rings deafening in her ears. She tells her brother everything but she cannot tell him this. (They never called it dating. There is nothing to tell anyway.)

“Oh, Kitty-Kat. Come here,” Antoni says. He doesn’t wait for her to move, instead rounding the island to wrap his arms around her from behind. She leans her head against his bicep, turning so her face is mashed into his woolen jumper, and closes her eyes. They stay like that, his chest to her back and his chin against her crown, for as long as it takes her to stop holding air in her chest until she’s gasping and shaky. She doesn’t cry, but her throat feels raw enough that she could have.

“Ant,” Katelyn whispers, her voice shaking on the vowel, “do you think I’m broken?”

“Of course you’re not.” His arms tighten a fraction around her shoulders. “Why would you think that?”

“It feels like everything I touch shatters.”

She thinks of her mother’s life splintering to pieces in Katelyn’s eight year old hands, of her father’s voice splitting in two and washing away whenever he tried to speak to her, of Aaron’s face contorting as their date cracked and caved around them. She feels like a fractured bone, cleft down the middle, never whole as she is.

Antoni lets out a soft breath against her hair and presses a kiss to the curve of her skull.

“No, chiquita,” he says, “you’re not broken. The world is.”

*

Returning to Palmetto is easier than Katelyn expects it to be. Antoni only has three weeks leave, so Katelyn spends the last month of vacation alone with her father. She is almost ready to welcome the noise and clutter of her college dorm.

Returning to the Vixens is more of a homecoming than entering her family house. As sophomores, they’re expected to throw themselves both into their own practice and that of the freshmen, and Katelyn and Marissa’s room becomes something of a communal ground for the first and second years. Katelyn doesn’t mind so much, because it takes her thoughts off the scowl she hasn’t seen leave Aaron’s face since they returned from break.

She watches the exy team walk to and from the stadium on game nights, their divide in half somehow having become thirds, until she realises the centre group is actually a solitary affair: a dark-haired, rabbit-eyed boy curled in on himself, alone in the rift between his teammates. She focuses on him because it stops her gaze from betraying her resolve and straying to where Aaron walks several paces behind.

And it almost lasts; this painstaking stalemate, this mutual ignorance. Katelyn sits with her back to his table in the library and Aaron walks past her without pausing on the way out of their lecture theatre. It almost stops feeling like a bruise underneath her skin.

But somehow he trickles back into her life as easily as he did once before. Katelyn finds she can smile at him when they pass each other on campus and she can make eye contact when she waves his teammates onto the court during games. She remembers the way he cupped her name in the curl of his tongue as if it were reverent and fragile as glass. She remembers how he held her gaze like he was trying to keep her afloat, and how he saved his smiles to share in the privacy of her company. She remembers he did not build the wall between them, only said he wouldn’t climb it, and she can’t blame him for resting his weary hands.

So when she misses her morning lecture because Marissa woke with a bad taste in her mouth and a tremor in her hands, Katelyn catches Aaron on his way to the library, a hand in his path and a question in her eyes.

“I had to skip this morning. Do you mind sharing notes?” It’s a surrender of sorts, an end to their face-off. Aaron made the first move all those months ago, so this time Katelyn dresses in white armour and guides her pawn forward. They have come full circle.

Aaron’s smile is slow, a tentative curl that crawls quietly up his face, and Katelyn realises for the first time how much she has missed seeing it bloom for her.

“I’m headed to the library now if you’ve got time,” he says. The words are marrow filling the cracks of Katelyn’s broken bone and she feels herself coming together as their steps line up with one another.

It’s easier, after their not-breakup, to build their routine around honesty. Andrew is still an answer, but this time one that comes served with an explanation. Katelyn still doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand the chokehold that Aaron calls family, but she respects it. After all, she isn’t in a position to point fingers at dysfunctional.

They confine their dates to the library café and the medicine building, avoiding places that Aaron’s family are likely to haunt. And it isn’t perfect, it isn’t textbook romance, but for the first time it is something whole that Katelyn cradles to her chest and it does not shatter on impact.

When Aaron leaves for a weekend and comes home a broken man—brotherless, breathless, hands a bruised and bloodied mess—Katelyn does what she has always done best and builds him back together with her own chipped pieces. She fights his nightmares with nothing but her fists and takes his hands in her own when he cannot look at them without seeing blood beneath his fingernails. She does what she can but she is still just collateral, she is still on the outside looking in on a rupture that happened long before she became a spectator. There is still a tear that Katelyn does not know how to stitch up.

*

(The dark-haired, rabbit-eyed boy is called Neil and his hair isn’t actually quite so dark and he is fixing the broken parts Katelyn can’t reach and when he says Andrew’s name it sounds like a question, not an answer.)

*

Getting Aaron back is the gift Katelyn doesn’t think she deserves. Cutting him off feels like shattering her own hope. She watches the pieces slide between her fingers, shoves the remnants deep where she can’t cut herself on their serrated edges, and tries not to think of the way Aaron’s face split apart when she told him Andrew was the answer to a question he did not ask.

She tells Billie, late one night as they pass a bottle of Marissa’s claret between them from opposite ends of the couch, that she doesn’t know if she’ll be whole again. It is a vulnerability that no one but Antoni ever sees, but Katelyn is wine-drunk and fractured, too disheartened to care that her misery has an audience.

“Why not?” Billie says, holding the bottle between their knees to free up their hands. “You were whole before him. He didn’t take anything you can’t replace.”

“He was the first thing I had that I thought I could hold on to.” Katelyn’s hands falter as the weight of her honesty hits her. She doesn’t know who she is when she isn’t fixing other people and Aaron is a fissure that is out of her hands. “What’s the point if I can’t keep anything without breaking it?”

“You have us. You have the team. You have a career path you’re good at and a hobby you love. You have a brother who adores you and you have Marissa and Anaïs and me. You are whole on your own but you’re part of bigger things too. He’ll come back to you or he won’t and either way you’ll still be the person you always have been.”

It doesn’t seem appropriate to cry, but Katelyn is wine-drunk and fractured, so she does anyway. Billie hooks their ankle around hers on the couch between them and knocks the claret bottle against her knee. Katelyn alternates between drinking and sobbing, and loses the rest of the night to the breaking of her heart.

*

Aaron comes back to her piece by broken piece. He shows up at her dorm with his pain a palpable weight in his hands and tells her he’s trying, he’s breaking faster than he can put himself together but he’s trying. And Katelyn knows a thing or two about falling apart.

They pour their fragments into one another in Katelyn’s bed because Marissa is out with some of the older Vixens and they both know better than to waste an empty dorm room. Later, with his back to Katelyn’s chest and his legs slid between either of hers, Aaron finds the parts of his voice he has been missing.

“You were the first beautiful thing I ever called mine,” he says and Katelyn remembers midnight with Billie, remembers the saccharine claret slipping down her throat, remembers thinking Aaron was the first thing she could ever keep whole. “I won’t lose you for him.”

Katelyn slides her hand across the bare expanse of his stomach, presses her face into the base of his neck, and breathes and breathes and breathes.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says, and means it.

They patch themselves up in tandem—Aaron knits one, Katelyn purls two—and they are old hands at this now. Katelyn watches their healing overlap in familiar stitches and she waits and she hopes and she breathes. Because this thing between them is chipped and bruised but it is whole. It is theirs.

When Andrew comes for her, Katelyn wonders if she should be surprised. She has heard his name in response to too many questions to be shocked when he treats his words like an arrow and her the target. He and Aaron are identical twins but when Katelyn looks at him up close for the first time, all she sees are the differences. He carries none of the regret that bleeds through Aaron’s teeth and too much of the horror that feeds behind his eyes.

“You won,” rabbit-eyed Neil says, gaze already chasing after Andrew like he might not be just any answer but the answer. “Aaron’s not in class now, if you want to call him.”

Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, her brain says and her fingers, though numb with fear, respond on reflex. He picks up while Katelyn is halfway through a choked sob and she hears his breath sharpen like a dagger.

“Katelyn?” His voice is a rush of concern, a spear and shield readying itself in her defence. “What happened?”

“Andrew,” is all she can say between broken breaths, and it is the answer to every question. After all this time, she gets it.

In the time it takes Aaron to get from his dorm to the library, Katelyn has found her breath but not her strength. She is still curled in on herself behind the bookshelf in the far corner and she knows her friends will be wondering but she doesn’t yet trust her legs to support her. Aaron sinks down next to her, an anchor holding her steady in the aftermath of Andrew’s storm.

“Did he hurt you?” he asks quietly and Katelyn doesn’t know how to answer. She thinks if she opens her mouth she might not know how to do anything but cry.

It’s enough of an answer though. Aaron vibrates with an anger that he almost never wears around her and Katelyn thinks of the Breckenridge striker who took Aaron’s fist to the face. He looks more like the other side of the coin, more like Exy Aaron, than she has seen him in a while.

“I told you not to fall in love with me,” he says. It is frustrated and lonely and scared, and Katelyn has heard him sound like that once before and she will do anything before she lets him shatter again.

“I didn’t listen.”

He falls into her at that, half straddling her lap, arms around her waist and face pressed hard to her shoulder. Katelyn raises her arms to cradle his body against her, rests her cheek in the nest of his hair, and thinks this is it. Thinks he is the answer. Thinks we won.

“My Katie,” Aaron whispers into her skin and it is the glue drawing her broken shards together.

[vampire-himbos-of-santa-perdita]

the only mcr songs i’ve listed to r black parade and na na na na na but u make me wanna listen to them lol do u have any suggestions? what r ur favorite songs of theirs?

Oh boy. Alright. Ok. Everybody sit down, we’re about to have a masterclass in everything MCR.

The thing about My Chemical Romance is they’re a concept album band, which means each of their albums tell a story as a whole. For that reason, I can’t just recommend my personal favourite songs because they’re all part of a big whole. I’ll do my best to break them down in order of personal preference.

TL;DNR: For those of you who don’t have all day to scroll through full album analyses:

My Faves:

(Absolute all time faves are in bold; *** indicate I love these songs too much for my own good and I must be stopped.)

The Black Parade:

***Teenagers***

***Mama***

***Welcome to the Black Parade***

Famous Last Words

Cancer

Disenchanted

The end. / Dead! (you can’t really listen to one without the other)

Kill All Your Friends (TBP B-side)

Heaven Help Us (TBP B-side)

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge:

***Helena***

***I’m Not Ok (I Promise)***

Ghost of You

***Cemetery Drive***

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison

Thank You For the Venom

To the End

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You

Hang Em High

I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys:

***Planetary [Go!]***

***Na Na Na***

SING

Bulletproof Heart

The Only Hope For Me Is You

Party Poison

Vampire Money

Conventional Weapons:

***Tomorrow’s Money***

Boy Division

AMBULANCE

Kiss the Ring

Make Room!!!

Miscellaneous:

***Desolation Row***

Fake Your Death

Common People (BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge Pulp cover)

***Hazy Shade of Winter***

Happy Together*

*these last two are just Gerard Way covers, but considering they’re featuring Ray Toro, that’s half the band right there…

The Black Parade

Concept: A man known as The Patient dies and accounts his life and death, dealing with his struggles with war and disease, and his fears about where he’s going to go in the afterlife.

Track Listing:

The end.

Dead!

This is How I Disappear

Sharpest Lives

Welcome to the Black Parade

I Don’t Love You

House of Wolves

Cancer

Mama

Sleep

Teenagers

Disenchanted

Famous Last Words

Blood

The whole album is honestly so good. It’s worth a listen from start to finish at least once. I’ve got absolutely no bad things to say about the songs that aren’t my faves, as they’re equally as explosive as everything else. That said…

Personal Faves:

Mama

Teenagers

Cancer

Famous Last Words

Welcome to the Black Parade

Dead!

Disenchanted

If you want the stuff that’ll psych you up/empower you, go for Welcome to the Black Parade, Teenagers, Famous Last Words, Mama, and Dead. If you want some real sad shit, go for Cancer, Disenchanted, and I Don’t Love You. I have yet to find out how to not weep all the way through WttBP, Famous Last Words, or Cancer, so you have been warned.

Dip your Toe in the Water With…

Welcome to the Black Parade

Teenagers

Famous Last Words

Things to Keep in Mind

Mama’s got an extra special guest appearance by one Liza Minnelli, and oh man, is it absolutely worth checking out. Next to Welcome to the Black Parade, this one might just be the most theatrical song in the entire album??? Bold statement, but I like to call it the Bohemian Rhapsody of MCR. It’s SO. GOOD.

Blood is the hidden track at the end of the album. There’s about 2 minutes of silence in the original album before it starts. If you want the version without the false start, nab the version from The Black Parade is Dead live album.

If you’re madly in love with this album, you can find their Black Parade concert live in Mexico, The Black Parade is Dead for free on their youtube channel. Throw it up on your tv screen and it’s like you’re there in person.

B-Sides

Kill All Your Friends

Heaven Help Us

My Way Home is Through You

All the Black Parade B-sides are great, but Kill All Your Friends is the real standout (and has the biggest connection to Umbrella Academy, if that excites you reference-wise).

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge

Concept: This is a bit of a split narrative, partially a loving tribute following Gerard and Mikey Way’s grandmother’s passing, and partially a revenge plot. The full plot Gee had in mind took a bit of a backseat after they shifted focus on the grief side of things, but the full original concept is worth the price of admission either way. The revenge plot follows a man who makes a deal with the devil to reunite with his lost lover, if he can collect 1,000 evil souls. He sets out on his murder quest and finally reunites with the woman he loves, only to find she never loved him. He vows to take her down with him, but discovers he’s the 1,000th soul.

Track Listing:

Helena

Give ‘Em Hell, Kid

To the End

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison

I’m Not Okay (I Promise)

The Ghost of You

The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You

Interlude

Thank You for the Venom

Hang 'Em High

It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish

Cemetery Drive

I Never Told You What I Do for a Living

This one is loud and dark, and fast as fuck. I use it almost exclusively as workout music because it will make you want to punch everything in the face. You wanna feel like you could take down all your enemies at once? Listen to this album. This one’s a lot easier to break down in terms of listening to songs here and there instead of all at once.

Personal Faves:

Cemetery Drive

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison

Thank You For the Venom

I’m Not Ok (I Promise)

Helena

Ghost of You

Some Underrated Gems:

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You

To the End

Hang Em High

I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

Dip Your Toe in the Water With…

Helena

I’m Not Ok (I Promise)

Ghost of You

Things to Keep in Mind

Helena is essentially what got the band off the ground. The music video is really something and really set the tone for what early 2000s emo culture would become. If I didn’t love The Black Parade as much as I did, I’d recommend starting with Helena above everything else.

The Ghost of You music video is also a masterpiece. Gerard went to his director and asked for Saving Private Ryan, and that’s what he got! This video also happened to come out around the same time Green Day’s Wake Me Up When September Ends video came out and Gee was worried the anti-war rethorics in both would be too similar, but Billie Joe Armstrong sat him down and gave him a pep talk about how even though their concepts are similar, they’re always going to be coming at it in different ways. 

If you want to get a really solid insight into where the band came from, see the boys goofing off, and see how Gerard’s struggles with mental health and addiction drives so much of what he does, check out Life on the Murder Scene, also free on youtube. It also gives a brief sneaky peek about early days concepts for the Umbrella Academy comics!

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Concept: In a post-apocalyptic California in 2019(!!!), four rebels who call themselves the Killjoys (Party Poison, Fun Ghoul, Kobra Kid, and Jet-Star) set out to recover a young girl from the evil corporation, BL/ind. Their progress is narrated by Dr. Death Defy, a radio dj who maintains public morale in an otherwise gloomy new world where electricity is a rare commodity and people worship at the hands of Destroya, a giant dormant robot expected to deliver everyone from evil.

Track Listing:

Look Alive, Sunshine

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

Bulletproof Heart

SING

Planetary (GO!)

The Only Hope For Me Is You

Jet-Star And The Kobra Kid/Traffic Report

Party Poison

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Summertime

DESTROYA

The Kids From Yesterday

Goodnite, Dr. Death

Vampire Money

This album is radically different than the others in that it’s much mellower. The songs are interspersed with narrative interludes by Dr. Death Defy to better explain the storyline. Danger Days came after one scrapped compilation album (which I’ll get to soon enough…) At this point, Gee’s comic career had started to take off with Umbrella Academy, and things had started to naturally wind down with the band. Gee’s mindspace was clearly in comic-mode, and he upcycled a comic book idea he had kicking around with a comic writer friend of his, Shaun Simon for the new album. After the band’s breakup, Gerard took whatever concepts they couldn’t realize through the lyrics and music videos back to Shaun Simon to make a Killjoys comic. Much of the concept backstory explained above is pulled from this.

Personal Faves:

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

Bulletproof Heart

SING

Planetary [GO!]

The Only Hope For Me Is You

Party Poison

Vampire Money

This is the album where I tend to get bored halfway through and switch over to The Black Parade (whoops…) But it is 100% worth listening to it from start to finish, again, at least once, if anything, because Destroya and Vampire Money are something else… Bulletproof Heart, SING, and The Only Hope for Me Is You are, at least in my opinion, the standouts of the more mellow songs. S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W, Summertime, and The Kids From Yesterday are also super mellow if you’re into the vibe of the previous three and want more of that. 

Planetary Go! is… possibly one of my favourite MCR songs of all time??? (Considering how much I love The Black Parade, that’s a pretty bold statement). It’s the only dance track they ever made, and is it ever a Bop. This is one of my go-to’s when I just need to take a break from whatever’s stressing me out and have a silly little dance party. 

Dip Your Toe in the Water With:

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

SING

Planetary [Go!]

The Only Hope for me is You

Bulletproof Heart

Things to Keep In Mind:

Danger Days is an incredibly visual album! You really need the music videos to get the whole story. Na Na Na and SING tell the whole story pretty succinctly.

If you’re really feeling that cliffhanger from the end of the SING music video, check out the Killjoys comics. It’s a single volume under the same name as the album, following The Girl a few years after the music videos’ timeline.

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W was inspired by Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds by the Beatles, which really speaks to the overall vibe of the song.

Something I literally just discovered now, looking up the album, there’s an EP of basically fight scene tracks off a special edition of Danger Days called The Mad Gear and Missile Kid. I’ve not listened to them yet, but from the looks of things, it’s got a pure punk rock vibe and they’re apparently what the band imagined the killjoys listened to on the road.

Fun trivia that I personally get a kick out of: Vampire Money was written out of spite after Gerard refused to contribute a song to the New Moon soundtrack for Twilight (Stephenie Meyer was a huge MCR fan and approached them numerous times to get involved in the films). 

Conventional Weapons

Here it is! The scrapped compilation album! These songs were written pre-Danger Days and were presented at a concert in Japan, at which point, Gerard realized it wasn’t the sound they were after and it was promptly nixed. It’s a real shame, because there are some jams up in here, but at least they (or their record label, I can’t remember which at this point) eventually did decide to release the full “album” in 5 two-single EPs at a time.

Number One:

Boy Division

Tomorrow’s Money

Number Two:

AMBULANCE

Gun.

Number Three:

The World is Ugly

The Light Behind Your Eyes

Number Four:

Kiss the Ring

Make Room!!!

Number Five:

Surrender the Night

Burn Bright

Personal Faves:

Tomorrow’s Money

Boy Division

AMBULANCE

Kiss the Ring

Make Room!!!

Things to Keep in Mind:

I often like to give a shout out to AMBULANCE and Kiss the Ring for having opening chords that sound exactly like they’ve come straight off a Queen and Green Day album respectively.

See Tomorrow’s Money for the spectacular way they rhyme “vampire/empire/brush fire/tap wire” all in one verse.

See also Gun. for the far sillier way they rhyme “gun/sun/fun/run”. 

You can tell with some of these songs that there was the stirrings of Danger Days in here. Make Room!!! is the most obvious, with the same mantra of “everybody wants to change the world” from Na Na Na making an appearance toward the end.

I think in some iteration between Conventional Weapons and Danger Days, there were some songs that did make it to the Danger Days album that were called something else. Party Poison, for example, had originally been Death Before Disco.

Covers

My Chemical Romance, in one form or another, have done some spectacular covers over the years. I’m including the Umbrella Academy covers Gerard did with Ray because that’s basically half the band right there.

Desolation Row (Watchmen soundtrack)

Hazy Shade of Winter (Umbrella Academy)

Happy Together (Umbrella Academy)

Common People (BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge)

Under Pressure (ft. The Used)

Those are the ones I’m aware of. If there are more good-quality covers I’m missing, please, send them my way– I would love that!

I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love

Ok, look, I’m gonna upset some people by having this on the bottom of my list. I’m sorry, I feel bad about it, but the fact of the matter is, I’m only now getting into their earliest stuff. Bullets is a bit of an acquired taste because it’s incredibly raw both sound-wise and in terms of content. They recorded it before they had the resources to really put out a crisp sounding album, and they were still learning about how to construct songs, but there’s still a lot of beauty in that that I know plenty people appreciate far more than I do. MCR wouldn’t have gained an underground following without this album, after all!

I have exactly zero stakes in this album, so I’m sure someone else out there has a better grasp of this one than I do.

Concept: I know very little about what’s going on in this album, aside from the fact that Gerard was driven to create the band after being in New York, watching the Twin Towers fall during 9/11. A bunch of his more end of the world storylines from many of his works (including Umbrella Academy) are inspired by 9/11. This is a prevalent thread throughout the album, though I’m not familiar with the how beyond Skylines and Turnstiles.

Track Listing:

Romance

Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

Drowning Lessons

Our Lady of Sorrows

Headfirst for Halos

Skylines and Turnstiles

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville

This Is the Best Day Ever

Cubicles

Demolition Lovers

Personal Faves:

Headfirst for Halos

Honey, This Mirror isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

Our Lady of Sorrows

I’m playing fast and loose with my faves here. I’ve only heard these songs a handful of times, but they’re the ones I’m inclined to at least listen to for the guitar work, which at times, is quite fantastic. I will say though, from what I’ve seen of the lyrics, there’s some stellar stuff in here I hope to properly get into some time soon.

All the guys are still plugging away and releasing music either in their own bands (most recently, Frank Iero andthe Patience and Mikey Way’s band, Electric Century) or solo (in the case of Gerard Way and Ray Toro). I wish I was more well-versed in their goings-ons, but I’ve not been following their musical careers beyond Gerard’s (come back and talk to me if you want to get into his Hesitant Alien solo album and his more recent releases).

And that is your crash course in all things MCR.

[magratpudifoot]

Anti-Love Collection Track List

Below the cut is a list of every track on every disc of the Anti-Love Album. I thought pretty seriously about going through and linking to music videos and bandcamp and whatnot, but, yeah, that’s not happening tonight.

Disc One(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises)

1.  Could You Use Me?                            Harry Groener and Jodi Benson 2.  Hit the Road, Jack                           Ray Charles and the Raelettes 3.  Down with Love                                                Caxton Swing 4.  You're No Good                                              Linda Ronstadt 5.  It Ain't Me, Babe                                              The Turtles 6.  Already Gone                                                    The Eagles 7.  Paradise By the Dashboard Light                                   Meatloaf 8.  Don't Believe a Word                                           Andy Taylor 9.  I Will Survive                                               Gloria Gaynor 10. I've Done Everything for You                              Rick Springfield 11. Love Stinks                                              The J. Geils Band 12. Don't You Want Me                                         The Human League 13. Goodbye to You                                                     Scandal 14. Love's Been a Little Bit Hard on Me                           Juice Newton 15. I Could Be Happy                                            Altered Images 16. What Do All the People Know                                    The Monroes 17. Jukebox (Don't Put Another Dime)                                The Flirts 18. No More Words                                                       Berlin 19. She Don't Love Nobody                                            Nick Lowe 20. So In Love                               Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark 21. Let Your Love Go                                                     Bread

Disc Two(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Would I Lie to You                                              Eurythmics 2.  Keep Your Hands to Yourself                         The Georgia Satellites 3.  Twisting                                              They Might Be Giants 4.  I Don't Want Your Love                                         Duran Duran 5.  One More Minute                                          Weird Al Yankovic 6.  What Part of No                                             Cactus Country 7.  Itty Bitty Little Single Solitary Piece O' My Heart             Lari White 8.  That Was Yesterday                                            Wynonna Judd 9.  Jane                                                      Barenaked Ladies 10. Better Things to Do                                            Terri Clark 11. Bury the Shovel                                                Clay Walker 12. No News                                                           Lonestar 13. Spiderwebs                                                        No Doubt 14. She Won't Change Her Mind                           The Band with Rocks In 15. Me Neither                                                    Brad Paisley 16. Waste                                                          Smash Mouth 17. Goodbye Earl                                                  Dixie Chicks 18. Giving up on Love                                                   Ataris 19. Kiss This                                                     Aaron Tippin 20. Last Chance to Lose Your Keys                                    Brand New 21. It's Only Me (The Wizard of Magicland)                    Barenaked Ladies

Disc Three(Aberration, Inc.) 1.  Can't Hold Us Down                        Christina Aguilera feat. Lil Kim 2.  The Frug                                                        Rilo Kiley 3.  A Man/Me/Then Jim                                               Rilo Kiley 4.  Nothing Came Out                                        The Mouldy Peaches 5.  All That She Wants                                             Ace of Base 6.  You Oughta Know                                          Alanis Morissette 7.  The More You Ruv Someone                                          Avenue Q 8.  Roses                                                              Outkast 9.  Day Tripper                                                    Live 10. Sexx Laws                                                             Beck 11. Vienna                                                          Billy Joel 12. Sunday Girl                                                        Blondie 13. You Don't Own Me                                          The Blow Monkeys 14. You Give Love a Bad Name                                          Bon Jovi 15. Protons, Neutrons, Electrons                                    Cat Empire 16. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun                                     Cyndi Lauper 17. Mix Tape                                                          Avenue Q 18. 31st & M                                            The Daycare Stranglers 19. Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)                                      Eamon 20. Inside Out                                                           Eve 6 21. Beep                                    The Pussycat Dolls feat. will.i.am

Disc Four(Aberration, Inc.) 1.  Just One of Those Things                                     Frank Sinatra 2.  Just Friends                                                  Gavin Degraw 3.  Defying Gravity                         Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth 4.  Sugar                                                  Tick Tick Boom Cast 5.  Gold Digger                                    Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx 6.  Bag of Money                                                  The Low Life 7.  Scotty Doesn't Know                                                 Lustra 8.  I'm So Alone                                               The Mad Caddies 9.  World at Large                                                Modest Mouse 10. Get Over It                                                          OK Go 11. People Got to Be Free                                          The Rascals 12. Tainted Love                                                     Soft Cell 13. Don't Do Me Like That                                            Tom Petty 14. What's Love Got to Do with It                                  Tina Turner 15. He Wasn't Man Enough                                          Toni Braxton 16. Undone (The Sweater Song)                                           Weezer 17. Funny Honey                                                Renee Zellweger 18. I'll Never Be Jealous Again                   Reta Shaw and Eddie Foy, Jr. 19. Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me                       Ambient Irony 20. Dirty Little Secret                                   All American Rejects

Disc Five(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Will you Love Me Tomorrow                                    The Shirelles 2.  Desperate But Not Serious                                         Adam Ant 3.  Ready to Run                                                  Dixie Chicks 4.  I'm Gonna Miss Her                                            Brad Paisley 5.  Love Is Hell                                                    Ryan Adams 6.  It Ain't None of Your Business                             Missing Persons 7.  Stupid Boy                                                     Keith Urban 8.  Before He Cheats                                          Carrie Underwood 9.  You Don't Love Me Anymore                                Weird Al Yankovic 10. The Song That Goes Like This           Christopher Sieber and Sara Ramirez 11. (I'm Gonna) Run Away                         Joan Jett and the Blackhearts 12. I'm Not in Love                                              Talking Heads 13. You Keep Me Hangin' On                                           Kim Wilde 14. Don't Let's Start                                          Common Rotation 15. That's Enough of That                                           Mila Mason 16. Leave in Silence                                              Depeche Mode 17. Sign of the Times                                          The Belle Stars 18. Break Your Heart                                          Barenaked Ladies 19. Signs of Life                                                      Journey 20. Cell Block Tango             The Six Merry Murderesses of Cook County Jail

Disc Six(Aberration, Inc.) 1.  Designated Drinker                          Alan Jackson and George Strait 2.  Video Game Heart                                  All Girl Summer Fun Band 3.  Twisting                                              They Might Be Giants 4.  Fighter                                                 Christina Aguilera 5.  Found Out About You                                            Gin Blossom 6.  What Is This Feeling                    Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel 7.  Therapy                                      Amy Spranger and Raul Esparza 8.  Since U Been Gone                                           Kelly Clarkson 9.  Number One                                    John Legend feat. Kanye West 10. Material Girl                                                      Madonna 11. Build Me Up, Buttercup                                           The Goops 12. Schadenfreude                         Natalie Venetia Belcon and Rick Lyon 13. Happy Now                                                     Gwen Stefani 14. Why Don't You Get a Job                                          Offspring 15. Cry Me a River                                           Justin Timberlake 16. Ugly Ugly Mustache Girl                                      The Skakabobs 17. You Don't Know How It Feels                                      Tom Petty 18. Pink Triangle                                                       Weezer 19. Let Me Be Lonely                                                 Will Hoge 20. Buttons                                                 The Pussycat Dolls 21. My Love (The Christian Bale Experience)                 Sweet Tired Kitten

Disc Seven(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Let's Hear It For Love                                       Smoking Popes 2.  She Hates Me                                                Puddle of Mudd 3.  In and Out of My Life (In a Day)                              The Pandoras 4.  Cry of the Wild Goose                                        Frankie Laine 5.  Way Away                                                        Yellowcard 6.  Blue Monday                                                      New Order 7.  Kerosene                                                   Miranda Lambert 8.  Don't Shed a Tear                                             Paul Carrack 9.  Ghost of Love                                              The Proclaimers 10. I Write Sins Not Tragedies                              Panic at the Disco 11. Smile                                                           Lily Allen 12. Goodbye Says It All                                              BlackHawk 13. Careless Memories                                              Duran Duran 14. Nowhere Girl                                                       B-Movie 15. Hard to Be a Husband, Hard to Be a Wife      Chely Wright and Brad Paisley 16. Not About Love                                                 Fiona Apple 17. Take Out the Trash                                    They Might Be Giants 18. U + Ur Hand                                                           Pink 19. Good News                                               Neurotic Outsiders 20. Love You                                                       Jack Ingram 21. Time for Me to Fly                                          REO Speedwagon 22. What Is This Thing Called Love?                             John Barrowman

Disc Eight(Aberration, Inc.) 1.  Stripped, Part 2                                        Christina Aguilera 2.  Girls Lie, Too                                                 Terri Clark 3.  What Goes Around Comes Around                            Justin Timberlake 4.  Believe                                                               Cher 5.  Subtract One Love (Multiply the Heartaches)                           Cake 6.  Knock 'Em Out                                                   Lily Allen 7.  All That She Wants                                             Ace of Base 8.  You Don't Love Me                                                The Kooks 9.  You're So Damn Hot                                                   OK Go 10. Billie Jean                                                Michael Jackson 11. Losin' You                                                      Amy Millan 12. Oh, Goddamnit                                                 Hot Hot Heat 13. You Oughta Know                                          Alanis Morissette 14. You Don't Own Me                                          The Blow Monkeys 15. Girls                                                         Beastie Boys 16. Next Ex-Girlfriend                                        Bowling for Soup 17. Never There                                                           Cake 18. You Are Everything                                            The Low Life

Disc Nine(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Love Potion No. 9                                            The Searchers 2.  My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)                             En Vogue 3.  Liberty                                                        Duran Duran 4.  Da Da Da I Don't Love You You Don't Love Me Aha Aha Aha               Trio 5.  Hole in My Head                                               Dixie Chicks 6.  Your Woman                                                      White Town 7.  Murderess                                                    Power Station 8.  Good as Gone                                               Little Big Town 9.  One Night in Bangkok                                           Murray Head 10. Endicott                                         Kid Creole & the Coconuts 11. Kiss You Off                                               Scissor Sisters 12. I'll Take You Back                                            Brad Paisley 13. New Toy                                                        Lene Lovich 14. Every Word Means No                                           Let's Active 15. Broke in Two                                          They Might Be Giants 16. My Friends                            Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter 17. He Can't Quit Her                                               Gary Allan 18. When You're in Love                                        The Proclaimers 19. Don't Think You'll Be Missed            Aileen Stanley with the Virginians 20. Why Say Anything Nice?                                    Barenaked Ladies

Disc Ten(Aberration, Inc.) 1.  Don't Trust Me                                                       3OH!3 2.  Atari                                                 Lucky Boys Confusion 3.  Get Over It                                                          OK Go 4.  So What                                                               Pink 5.  Have I Been a Fool                                             Jack Penate 6.  Flavor of the Weak                                          American Hi-Fi 7.  There's a Fine, Fine Line                              Stephanie D'Abrazzo 8.  99 Problems                                                          Jay-Z 9.  Don't Want You Back                                        Backstreet Boys 10. You Turn the Screws                                                   Cake 11. Breakin' Up                                                     Rilo Kiley 12. More Boys I Meet                                          Carrie Underwood 13. They'll Need a Crane                                  They Might Be Giants 14. Should've Said No                                             Taylor Swift 15. Hound Dog                                                    Elvis Presley 16. Take Me or Leave Me                                                   Rent 17. Your Kisses are Wasted on Me                                  The Pipettes 18. Just a Girl                                                       No Doubt 19. Bust Your Windows                                         Jazmine Sullivan 20. Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)                           Beyonce Knowles 21. There You Go                                                          Pink

Disc Eleven(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  I Hate Myself for Loving You                     Joan Jett 2.  Her Royal Majesty                                             James Darren 3.  What If I'm Right?                                              Sandi Thom 4.  I Hear You Knockin'                                            Fats Domino 5.  Go Your Own Way                                              Fleetwood Mac 6.  He'll Have to Stay                                            Jeanne Black 7.  Du Hast                                                          Rammstein 8.  Ampersand                                                    Amanda Palmer 9.  Another Girl                                                   The Beatles 10. Can't Do It Today                                               Gary Allan 11. No Scrubs                                                              TLC 12. Cold Cold Heart                                               Tony Bennett 13. Gunpowder and Lead                                         Miranda Lambert 14. True Romance                                             She Wants Revenge 15. Brand New Lover                                              Dead or Alive 16. Ex-Girlfriend                                                     No Doubt 17. Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit                    Neil Patrick Harris, et al 18. Don't Say You Love Me                                              Erasure 19. Red Rubber Ball                                                     Cyrkle 20. Strange                                                      Reba McEntire 21. Mr. Spock                                                      Nerf Herder 22. See You Later Alligator                          Bill Haley and His Comets

Disc Twelve(Aberration, Inc.) 1.  Right as Rain                                                        Adele 2.  She Ain't Got                                               LeToya Luckett 3.  Fly on the Wall                                                Miley Cyrus 4.  Telephone                                          Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé 5.  Love Drunk                                                 Boys Like Girls 6.  Bye Bye                                                      JoDee Messina 7.  Analysis of a 1970s Divorce                                  David Dondero 8.  I'm Not Crying                                     Flight of the Conchords 9.  Every Breath You Take                                               Police 10. You Owe Me an IOU                                             Hot Hot Heat 11. It's Over                                     John Legend feat. Kanye West 12. Mood Ring                                                        Relient K 13. Picture to Burn                                               Taylor Swift 14. Gives You Hell                                        All American Rejects 15. Hit Em Up Style                                               Blu Cantrell 16. Beautiful Girls                                              Sean Kingston 17. It's Oh So Quiet                                                     Bjork 18. Pastures                                                      Lil' Justice

Disc Thirteen(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Fox on the Run                                             Sweet 2.  Angel in Your Arms                                          Hot 3.  Say It Right                                                 Nelly Furtado 4.  Gimme Three Steps                                           Lynyrd Skynyrd 5.  Heartbreaker                                                   Pat Benatar 6.  Don't Bet Money, Honey                                       Linda Scott 7.  Two Out of Three Ain't Bad                                        Meatloaf 8.  Too Many Fish in the Sea                                   The Marvelettes 9.  Pet Name                                              They Might Be Giants 10. Cold as Ice                                                 Foreigner 11. Jezebel                                                      Frankie Laine 12. Dark Lady                                                             Cher 13. (She's So) Selfish                                               The Knack 14. Evil Woman                              Electric Light Orchestra 15. Lipstick on Your Collar                                     Connie Francis 16. Stereo                                                         John Legend 17. Too Fast                                                    James Marsters 18. I Don't Wanna Go on with You Like That                          Elton John 19. It's My Life                                                     Talk Talk 20. Cold Hearted                                                   Paula Abdul

Disc Fourteen: Suck It, Marshall(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Told You So                                               Barenaked Ladies 2.  The Sign                                                       Ace of Base 3.  Bulletproof                                                        La Roux 4.  Victim of Love                                                     Erasure 5.  I'll Never Fall in Love Again             Kristin Chenoweth and Sean Hayes 6.  Are You Fucking Kidding Me?                             Kate Miller-Heidke 7.  Leeds United       Amanda Palmer and the Born Again Horny Men of Edinburgh 8.  Bringin' Me Down                                               Andy Taylor 9.  Alejandro                                                        Lady Gaga 10. Go Where You Wanna Go                              The Mamas and the Papas 11. Hate on Me                                                      Jill Scott 12. Shop Around                               Smokey Robinson and the Miracles 13. Anti-Love Song                                                Raven-Symoné 14. Don't Come Around Here No More                                   Tom Petty 15. King of Anything                                            Sara Bareilles 16. Endgame                                  Tommy Körberg and Barbara Dickson 17. I Am a Rock                                            Simon and Garfunkel 18. Don't Ask Me                                                         OK Go 19. Gonna Get Along Without Ya Now                       Patience and Prudence 20. I Quit                                                             Hepburn 21. The Mixed Tape                                            Jack's Mannequin                                                                

Disc Fourteen-and-a-Half: The Robot Falls in Love                             (Static Cling)                                                                                                                  1.  Rolling in the Deep                             Adele 2.  Rolling in the Deep                                             David Choi 3.  Rolling in the Deep                                            Jodie Aysha 4.  Rolling in the Deep                                           Kina Grannis 5.  Rolling in the Deep                                             David Cook 6.  Rolling in the Deep                                             Wonderland 7.  Rolling in the Deep                               PS22 Chorus feat. Denise 8.  Rolling in the Deep           Adele, Jay-Z, Biggie Smalls, and Voodoo Farm 9.  Rolling in the Deep                                             Tahj Mowry 10. Rolling in the Deep                                           Tim Halperin 11. Rolling in the Deep                                        Melissa Tojones 12. Rolling in the Deep                                            Mike Posner 13. Rolling in the Deep                                             Chris Ning 14. Rolling in the Deep                                         Haley Reinhart 15. Rolling in the Deep                                           Darius Dante 16. Rolling in the Deep                                            John Legend 17. Rolling in the Deep (live on Ellen)                                  Adele

Disc Fifteen(Aberration, Inc.)

1.  Just You Wait                                                 My Fair Lady 2.  You Can Make Him Like You                                  The Hold Steady 3.  Like a Boy                                                           Ciara 4.  Marionette                                                 The Marvelettes 5.  Through with You                                                  Maroon 5 6.  Bye Bye Baby                                                  Janis Joplin 7.  Let It Die                                                    Foo Fighters 8.  Blow It Out                                                       Ludacris 9.  Take It Easy (Love Nothing)                                    Bright Eyes 10. The Line                                                         Skakabobs 11. Fuck You                                                      Cee Lo Green 12. Grenade                                                         Bruno Mars 13. Jar of Hearts                                              Christina Perri 14. Love the Way You Lie                                  Eminem feat. Rihanna 15. Potential Break-Up song                                           Aly & AJ 16. Cooler Than Me                                                 Mike Posner 17. What the Hell                                                Avril Lavigne 18. Tired                                                                Adele 19. My Give a Damn's Busted                                      JoDee Messina 20. Ignorance                                                         Paramore 21. Hot and Cold                                                    Katy Perry

Disc Sixteen(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Almost Sorry                               Scissor Sisters 2.  Drama!                                                             Erasure 3.  Stop Draggin' My Heart Around                   Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty 4.  Runaway Baby                                                    Bruno Mars 5.  I Have Learned                                            Barenaked Ladies 6.  All Cried Out Redux                       Jill Scott (feat. Doug E. Fresh) 7.  If Only                               Grey Delisle and Neil Patrick Harris 8.  Nobody's Side                                 Elaine Paige and Murray Head 9.  Human                                                        Charlene Kaye 10. Maneater                                                      Hall & Oates 11. Mr. Big Stuff                                                  Jean Knight 12. Used to Love U                                                 John Legend 13. Bad Medicine                                                   Bon Jovi 14. Treat Me Right                                                 Pat Benatar 15. We'll Sing in the Sunshine                                    Gale Garnett 16. The Last Song                                                 Tim Halperin 17. Bills, Bills, Bills                          Darren Criss and the Warblers 18. Modern Girl                                                  Sheena Easton 19. Chain of Fools                                             Aretha Franklin 20. Dreams Be Dreams                                              Jack Johnson

Disc Seventeen(Chaotic/Static Cling Enterprises) 1.  Dead Memories                                                     Slipknot 2.  Poison                                                        Alice Cooper 3.  Paper Gangsta                                                    Lady Gaga 4.  Maneater                                                     Nelly Furtado 5.  These Boots Are Made for Walkin'                             Nancy Sinatra 6.  50 Ways to Leave Your Lover                                     Paul Simon 7.  Stutter                                                         Joe Walker 8.  Solitaire                                                   Laura Branigan 9.  Runaround Sue                                        Dion and the Beltones 10. Life Goes On                                                  Little Texas 11. Me Party                                       Amy Adams and Eric Jacobsen 12. Coin-Operated Boy                                        The Dresden Dolls 13. Smoochy Smoochy Pukey Pukey                          Harry and the Potters 14. I Know There's Something Going On                                    Frida 15. Evil Ways                                                          Santana 16. Your Cheating Heart                                             Joni James 17. Harden My Heart                                               Quarterflash 18. Rest in Peace                                               James Marsters 19. That'll Be the Day                                          Linda Ronstadt 20. (I'm Not Your) Stepping Stone                                  The Monkees 21. Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye                         Steam

Disc Seventeen-Plus(Static Cling) 1.  Ready to Go (excerpt)                    Nicholas Strauss and Brian Holden 2.  Please Don't Touch Me                                       Megan Mullally 3.  I Want You, But I Don't Need You                                     Momus 4.  The Longest Text Message                                  Childish Gambino 5.  Makin' Whoopie                                               Amanda Palmer 6.  Fuck You/Gonna Get Over You                                    Sara Bareilles 7.  Getting Rid of Britta     Eric Christian Olsen, Chevy Chase, and Tom Wolfe 8.  Geek in the Pink                                                Jason Mraz 9.  Look It Up                                                 Ashton Shepherd 10. Poison                                             Bel Biv DeVoe 11. Used to Love Her                                             Guns N' Roses 12. Irreplaceable                             Beyoncé (feat. Ghostface Killah) 13. How to Write a Love Song                                   Axis of Awesome 14. The Girl Next Door (To Everybody Else)                 George Watsky 15. I'm Tired                                                    Madeline Kahn 16. Jubilation Day                   Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers 17. Making Circles                                              Christian Kane 18. Tyrone                                                         Erykah Badu 19. The Rake's Song                                           The Decemberists 20. The Succubus                                   Isaac Hayes and Trey Parker 21. There Ain't Nothing Like a Dick           Nicholas Strauss and Devin Lytle

Disc Eighteen(Static Cling) 1.  She Runs                                                      Tim Halperin 2.  Boy Toy                                            Tanya and the Hot Girls 3.  Misery                                                            Maroon 5 4.  Grown Man Cry                  Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra 5.  Ooh La La                                                   Counting Crows 6.  The Truth About Love                                                  P!nk 7.  Bones                                                           Gary Allan 8.  Good Girl                                                 Carrie Underwood 9.  I Don't Think She's in Love Anymore                          Charlie Pride 10. I'm Not Your Toy                                                   La Roux 11. Kids                                                      Childish Gambino 12. Lesson in Leavin'                                           Jo Dee Messina 13. Mockingbird                                                     Rob Thomas 14. Say You're Sorry                                            Sara Bareilles 15. Can't Wait to Say No to You                                       TalkFine 16. You Lie                                                     The Band Perry 17. I'll Feel a Whole Let Better                                     The Byrds 18. Turn on the Radio                                            Reba McEntire 19. Bye Bye Baby                                                         OK Go 20. Leave the Pieces                                              The Wreckers

Disc Nineteen(Static Cling) 1.  Rumour Has It                                                        Adele 2.  Woman Up                                                     Charlene Kaye 3.  No Surprise                                                       Daughtry 4.  Nylons in a Rip                                                Nikka Costa 5.  How Am I Doin'?                                             Dierks Bentley 6.  Hermione                                               The Moaning Myrtles 7.  Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me                                      Mac Davis 8.  The Apartment Song                                               Tom Petty 9.  I'm Like a Bird                                              Nelly Furtado 10. At Seventeen                                                     Janis Ian 11. Le Disko                                                    Shiny Toy Guns 12. Strippers                                               Ghost of the Robot 13. You Don't Like Me                                     They Might Be Giants 14. Shame on You                                                   Jerry Minor 15. The More I Learn (The Less I Understand About Love)           Ronna Reeves 16. Bad Blood                                                  Natalie Lungley 17. To Be a Man                                 Brian Holden and Joseph Walker 18. Her Daddy Was a Dalek, Her Mummy Was a Non-Stick Frying Pan  Martin Gordon 19. Men                                                   The Forester Sisters 20. Rashida Jones                                   Prometheus Brown and Bambu 21. All You Really Need Is Love                                   Brad Paisley 22. Alone with You                                                   Jake Owen 23. Wind It Up                                                Barenaked Ladies

Disc Twenty(Static Cling) 1.  You Will See Me                                dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip 2.  Pumpkin Soup                                                     Kate Nash 3.  Girls Ain't Nothing but Trouble         The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff 4.  Sigh No More                              Catherine Tate and David Tennant 5.  Tough Goodbye                                                   Gary Allan 6.  Survivor                                                   Destiny's Child 7.  Trade Mistakes                                          Panic at the Disco 8.  I Don't Wanna Be in Love                                    Good Charlotte 9.  Poison Apple                                                 Charlene Kaye 10. Hey Robin, Jolly Robin                                     Paterson Joseph 11. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing                                     Jack Johnson 12. Blow Me (One Last Kiss)                                               P!nk 13. Better off with Him                                                      A 14. Let Her Rip                                                   Dixie Chicks 15. Don't Think Twice It's All Right                                 Bob Dylan 16. Shut Up                                                    Black Eyed Peas 17. I Hate Everything About You                              Three Day's Grace 18. Eden                                                        Sara Bareilles 19. Amsterdam                                                           Guster 20. Erase Me                                                    Ben Folds Five 21. Good Day                                                 The Dresden Dolls

Disc Twenty.Five: Keep Your Hands off Will You Damn Fancy Cannibal(Static Cling) 1.  Goldberg Variations: Aria                                      Glenn Gould 2.  Sympathy for the Devil                                  The Rolling Stones 3.  Fee Fi Fo                                                  The Cranberries 4.  Civilized Man                                               James Marsters 5.  A Place Called Home                                             Kim Richey 6.  Gravity                                                  The Dresden Dolls 7.  For Reasons Unknown                                            The Killers 8.  A Formidable Marinade              Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen 9.  Your Own Worst Enemy                                  They Might Be Giants 10. Temptation                                                            VAST 11. Exterminate, Regenerate                                  Chameleon Circuit 12. Thankless Job                                         Anthony Stewart Head 13. Demons                                                              Guster 14. Let's Kill Tonight                                      Panic at the Disco 15. Crime and Passion                                              Duran Duran 16. Polly                                                              Nirvana 17. Hello, My Treacherous Friends                                        OK Go 18. I Know Things Now                                         Danielle Ferland 19. Monster                                                          Lady Gaga 20. One Tiny Thing                                                        8in8 21. Stand By Me                                                           Mona 22. Vide Cor Meum                                              Patrick Cassidy 23. Hannibal (Censored)                                              oswinlost

Disc Twenty-One: The Oklahoma Legacy OR Musical Anachronism(Static Cling) 1.  Girl in a Country Song                                        Maddie & Tae 2.  Mister Nice Guy                                             Invisible Inc. 3.  You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told) The White Stripes 4.  What You Call Love                                                  Guster 5.  Because It's Not Love (But It's Still a Feeling)              The Pipettes 6.  Upside Down                                               Barenaked Ladies 7.  Lasso                                   Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds 8.  Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)                                 Nico Vega 9.  If Your Kisses Can't Hold the Man That You Love                  Rasputina 10. Epiphany                                                 Chrisette Michele 11. Wishing He Was Dead                                               The Like 12. Stunner                                        dan le sac Vs Scroobius Pip 13. Forgot to Laugh                                            Bridgit Mendler 14. Delayed Devotion                                                     Duffy 15. Switch                                                                 TLC 16. I Love It                                       Icona Pop feat. Charli XCX 17. Leaving You Behind                                            Amanda Blank 18. Love Don't Love You                                               En Vogue 19. Drowning                                                             Banks 20. Building a Wall                                         Brian d'Arcy James 21. Truce                                                    The Dresden Dolls

Disc Twenty-Two(Static Cling) 1.  Dickhead                                                         Kate Nash 2.  Love Is Like a Bottle of Gin                           The Magnetic Fields 3.  Same Old Love                                                 Selena Gomez 4.  Burn                                                          Phillipa Soo 5.  Turn Me Loose                                                     Loverboy 6.  So Long                                                             Guster 7.  Free Fallin'                                                     Tom Petty 8.  Love Sick                                                        Bob Dylan 9.  Look for the Woman                            dan le sac and Scroobius Pip 10. Opposite of Blue                                              Raining Jane 11. Leave                                                     Barenaked Ladies 12. L.A. Devotee                                            Panic at the Disco 13. How to Be a Heartbreaker                           Marina and the Diamonds 14. The Sad Truth                                               Shauna Carrick 15. Here                                                          Alessia Cara 16. Hungover Heart                                                  Gary Allan 17. Cupid's Got a Shotgun                                     Carrie Underwood 18. Ex's & Oh's                                                      Elle King 19. If This Is It                                      Huey Lewis and the News 20. You Rascal You                                             Hanni El Khatib 21. Merry Happy                                                      Kate Nash

Disc Twenty-Three(Static Cling) 1.  Casanova (Your Playing Days Are Over)                         Ruby Andrews 2.  You Finally Said Something Good (When You Said Goodbye)     Teddy Thompson 3.  Allez-vous En                                       Kate & Anna McGarrigle 4.  By the Sea                            Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp 5.  One Night Stand                                               The Pipettes 6.  You Can't Go By That                                              Ricochet 7.  Goodies                                            Ciara feat. Petey Pablo 8.  Neutron Dance                                              Pointer Sisters 9.  Trouble                                                             Avicii 10. Smoke Rings in the Dark                                         Gary Allan 11. So Gone                                                        John Legend 12. You're Easy on the Eyes                                        Terri Clark 13. Better to Leave                                               Jordan Brown 14. Second Chance                                                    Shinedown 15. Ballad of Mr. Steak                                            Kishi Bashi 16. Hunter's Kiss                                                    Rasputina 17. The Jeep Song                                            The Dresden Dolls 18. My First Stalker                                                    Watsky 19. Parasites                                                       San Fermin 20. End Love                                                             OK Go

Disc Twenty-Four(Static Cling) 1.  Doin' It By Myself                                                  Guster 2.  Me, Myself, and I                                  G-Eazy feat. Bebe Rexha 3.  Duct Tape Heart                                           Barenaked Ladies 4.  Instant Pleasure                                          Rufus Wainwright 5.  Please Don't Tell Her                                           Jason Mraz 6.  Mr. Know It All                                             Kelly Clarkson 7.  Set Me Free                                                    Leela James 8.  Turning Tables                                                       Adele 9.  Hard Hearted Hannah                                             Bea Arthur 10. Here I Go Again                                                 Whitesnake 11. 455 Rocket                                                     Kathy Matea 12. She Had the World                                      Panic! at the Disco 13. Heartbeat                                                 Childish Gambino 14. Your Love Is a Lie                                             Simple Plan 15. Flake                                                         Jack Johnson 16. Little Rock                                                  Reba McEntire 17. Four Little Diamonds                              Electric Light Orchestra 18. What Makes You Cry                                         The Proclaimers 19. The Fog                                                          Overcoats 20. Sorry                                                              Beyonce 21. Motherfucker Got Fucked Up                                        Folk Uke

Disc Twenty-Five(Static Cling) 1.  Welcome to Hell    Saoirse Ronan, Cecliy Strong, Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant 2.  A Kiss Is Not a Contract                            Flight of the Conchords 3.  Leave Me Alone                                                The Veronicas 4.  Simple Machine                                                       Guster 5.  I'm Moving On                                                Chyvonne Scott 6.  Daddy Lessons                                                       Beyonce 7.  As the Crow Flies                                                Gary Allan 8.  Five Minutes                                   dan le sac vs. Scroobius Pip 9.  Love Will Tear Us Apart                                        Joy Division 10. Now I Know                                                       Lari White 11. That's My Girl                                                Fifth Harmony 12. Bling Bling                                                     Junglepussy 13. Bye Bye Bye                                                          *NSync 14. It Was a Shit Show                                          Santino Fontana 15. Paper Mache (Single A.F.)                                        Miss Eaves 16. Daria                                                                  Cake 17. Sleeping Beauty                                            Helen Trevillion 18. Justice for Lavender                                         Shauna Carrick 19. Philosopher                                                      San Fermin 20. No Means No (But So Do Other Things, Too!)                  Grumpy Princess 21. Flirtin'                                                             El Pus 22. Pink Lemonade                                    Watsky with Invisible Inc. 23. Stake a Claim                                  dan le sac vs. Scroobius Pip

[hesgoteyeslikefire]

The king returns

W:language,drugs mention

Chapter 1

It was bike night at the crocodile bar and Sarah had managed to talk you into going ,commenting that it was about time you found a guy since the ginger cunt had left you.

It had been a year now since mad Sweeney had walked out of your life, without even a word or goodbye. Your relationship was fucked up but he’d been in your life for 5 years. The day he left broke you, after all you had both been through together, but Sarah was there to pick up the pieces literally.

After months of crying pathetically she had finally smacked you out of your heartbreak and every night from then on you had spent with her going out enjoying yourself, smoking, drinking,taking drugs and music anything to numb the pain. Heartbreak had changed you before you were more a Netflix and duvet kinda girl but that was different now.

Pulling up your denim hot pants up over your fishnets you heard the door bell go.”COME IN IM GETTING CHANGED” and with that a dirty blonde volcano bounced in “hey bitch” she kicked the door shut behind her stomping over to you bottle of vodka already in one hand.”you ready yet, i wanna get going I’ve got some tattooed sweaty biker dudes to rub my pussy up waiting for me”. Sarah starts to dry hump the arm of your couch .Pulling your tight black sabbath tshirt over your head you stand in front of the mirror adjusting the choker around your neck “god your a tramp”.

“Don’t even tell me you weren’t thinking the same bet urs has closed up ,don’t you get urges n stuff ?how long has it been ?...... oh yea over a YEAR!!!! What u waiting for ? ur leprechaun dick to come back. Come on u need to get back on it literally” and with that Sarah started deep throating the vodka bottle. As u pulled on ur doc martens you display her a middle finger laughing. “Come on then dick head or all you will be getting is that vodka bottle”. You flung your arms around each others shoulders as you both bounded toward the bar swigging vodka and shouting shout at the devil by motley crue.

By the time you hit the crocodile it was packed and true to Sarah’s word it was full of tattooed biker dudes. You and Sarah push your way through the masses to get some drinks. At the bar jack notices you leaning over the bar she shouts over the music “hey girls how we doing tonight ,usual ?” “Yea please J “ even though she was your employer jack didn’t mind you letting your hair down ,she knew what you had been through and had even warned you off sweeney in the beginning if only you had listened to her. Her views were if you where at crocodile at least she could keep an eye on you.

You and Sarah slammed back 5 shots then grabbed a bottle of corona, rebel yell by billy idol started to play Sarah jumped up and down on the spot “i fucking love this song” and with that you both headed to the front of the stage jumping and shouting along to the music.

After a couple of hours of moshing and dancing you leave Sarah to it, as somehow she had managed to find exactly what she wanted and had been grinding up some dude with a beard sticking her tongue down his throat for the last 15 minuets.

You head to the bar where you perch on a stool shaped as a crocodile head and roll your forehead on the cold wood trying to get rid of the buzz that had already smashed your senses .

“here” you feel a cold glass bottle touch your forearm and as you look up theres some dean Ambrose look alike holding a bottle of corona on you “been watching you and saw thats what you’ve been drinking “. Before you even think you grab the bottle and down it banging the glass straight on the bar “impressive im dave” in your best manly voice you shake his hand and reply “hey dave thanks for the drink “as you stand up to leave something hits you and suddenly your vision is blurred and you cant seem to stand . Feeling a forearm grab you around your waist your moved through to the bathroom your heads spinning and there’s nothing you can do to stop the male from pushing you into a stall.he starts grabbing at your clothes unbuttoning your shorts , you try and hit out but for some reason you cant work your limbs. All of a sudden the mans hands are ripped away from you but before you can breathe a sigh of relief your eyes grow heavy, falling back you pass out.

Bolting upright you start to hyperventilate but soon calm yourself when you realise you in your bed alone back at your apartment. Looking around you try to collect your memory from the night before but nothing, all you could remember was downing a beer from some guy called dave. Sarah must of brought you home and undressed you, yep that must of been what happened as you had on your pants from the night before and an oversized sex pistols tee that you always slept in.

Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed you grab your head as a throbbing pain hits you “fuck” clambering to your feet you find a bottle of aspirin on the bedside cabinet and wash them down with the remnants of a beer left on the floor from the night before.

As you try and steady your head you hear clinking coming from the kitchen “mmm fuck SARAH! What happened last night” no answer. “Sarah” sauntering to the kitchen it takes you a moment but all of a sudden your hyperventilating again as you see a 6,5 flame haired denim wearing certain leprechaun stood at the fridge helping himself to a beer. All of a sudden you can’t breathe as you whisper under your breath “sweeny”, he turns round taking a huge swig from his beer “eye darlin the one and only”.