#billford is right up my alley

[saltavenegar]

Haven’t had like the time to draw anything rlly (or rather the drive) but getting more into starmania + gravity falls rn and hopefully someday I’ll make more fan art

[aroromantic]

BillFord Is About AroAce Trauma And Recovery

Actually, I’m not done.

Someone commented on my last post about this topic that Ford being aroace made BillFord better. And you know what? They’re right! So let’s explore this more.

First, some clarification:

This ship is often described as “toxic yaoi.” I know that toxic yaoi is a fandom term that can be used to describe many sorts of dark and unhealthy relationships and isn’t meant to be taken at face value.

That being said, I feel like its use in the case of this ship has often served to minimize what BillFord actually is within the canon. Whether you see their relationship as platonic, sexual, or romantic, BillFord isn’t toxic; it is canonically ABUSIVE.

There is a very clear power dynamic which defines their relationship where Bill has power over Ford and uses it to manipulate as well as mentally, emotionally, and physically abuse him throughout their entire relationship.

I can further expand on this if need be, but as it is not the focal point of this post, I instead just wanted to give it a bit of focus here in order to clarify that I will be keeping this in mind throughout my analysis of their relationship. If that makes you uncomfortable or just isn’t up your alley, leave now. I won’t judge.

Second, I will not be spending any time defending why I think Ford is aroace. Plenty of people have made these points before and at this point it would just be rehashing an old argument. Please watch the aromantic section of this video and/or read this post for a quick summary if you need it. I also present you with this image which speaks for itself:

Alright, now let's discuss the aroace-ness of it all.

Ford and Amatonormativity

One of the biggest arguments against Ford being aroace is that there is some evidence that he has shown interest in other people before:

Translation of code: “The portal when completed will open a gateway to infinite new worlds and herald a new era in mankinds understanding of the universe. Plus it will probably get girls to start talking to me finally.”

What these arguments often fail to take into account is the concept of amatonormativity. As I mentioned in my previous post, when you are raised to believe that wanting a romantic and/or sexual relationship is the norm, you can often convince yourself its what you should want even if you don’t.

In other words, Ford, who already struggled with being seen as different, likely saw attracting sexual and romantic attention as a sign of his being accepted by others. You’ll notice in the two journal entries above that while he mentions wanting women to be attracted to him, he never really seems to mention having attraction to women himself.

What is important about this is that it means that, from an aroace perspective, Ford can be read as conflating romantic attraction with acceptance from others. Which brings me to my next point:

Bill Cipher, Romance, and Manipulation

Let’s get this off the table: Bill is a Manipulator.

Every action he takes is made to portray himself in a positive light and convince others to help him get what he wants. This is a core part of his character.

So how does this play into his relationship with Ford? First, let's talk about how Bill views romance.

In The Book Of Bill, Bill often directly frames romance as a tool for manipulation:

In other words, whether or not Bill himself had romantic or sexual feelings for Ford (and how much he actually does want these feelings returned, seeing as how there is evidence that he does crave genuine love himself throughout the book even if he directly shuns it), he would have been well aware that taking advantage of Ford’s need for acceptance which, again, he often associated with romantic attention, could be a useful form of manipulation in getting him to, not only give Bill power over him, but also get him to build Bill’s portal without asking questions.

This is further supported by the fact that some of the “tips” Bill gives are shown to have been used on Ford:

What this shows is that, while romance can very clearly be seen as playing a part in the BillFord relationship, romantic attraction itself doesn’t necessarily have to. Both characters can be read as approaching romance from a place outside of attraction, regardless of whether that attraction was there or not.

In other words, the main tension of the BillFord dynamic isn’t necessarily based on romantic or sexual attraction from either character: It’s based on Bill’s manipulation of Ford’s insecurities ABOUT attraction.

BillFord and AroAce Relationship Trauma

So far, we’ve covered how aroace-ness can play a part in the reading of BillFord during their relationship, but what about after the relationship has ended?

First of all, Bill misses Ford

Bill’s feelings are not necessarily romantic in nature, but because The Book Of Bill often codes them as such, I will be treating them that way.

It is mostly via these hints that we get the queer-coding with Bill and Ford's relationship.

What is notable is that Ford is never shown to have the same feelings. Anytime Ford thinks back on his relationship with Bill, he mostly frames it around shame that he fell for Bill’s manipulation tactics in the first place.

Because of this and the fact that Ford often associates romance with acceptance, as discussed above, BillFord can very easily be read as the story of an aroace man leaving an abusive romantic relationship and becoming self-actualized and happy enough to live a life where he does not need romance in order to feel accepted and loved.

More on that in a bit, but first, I want to take a short aside to more closely explore the possible one-sided aspects of the BillFord relationship by taking a look at how it parallels a different Gravity Falls one-sided relationship:

Gideon and Mabel

Seeing as this dynamic is already pretty well known throughout the fandom due to it being explicitly canon within the show, I won’t go into too many details about the specifics, but what I do want to point out is 1) that mabel is often read as aro-spec by a-spec fans herself, and 2) that Gideon’s feelings for Mabel can be read as a parallel to Bill’s feelings about Ford.

So first thing’s first, Mabel can be read as aromantic.

Now hold on, I hear you saying. Isn’t being boy-crazy literally a part of her personality? Isn’t she shown to have a lot of interest in shipping and romance throughout the series? Well, yes! She is!

But, as I mentioned in part 1, wanting a romantic relationship and feeling romantic attraction are not necessarily the same thing. In fact, it is this hyper-interest in romance that typically attracts an aro-spec reading in the first place!

Many aromantic people, especially women and often because of amatonormativity, have stages in their lives where they become really interested in romance because that is what is expected of women and girls around Mabel’s age.

Taking this even further, it is possible to enjoy romantic actions and/or relationships and not feel romantic attraction (cupioromantic, aegoromantic) or even feel romantic attraction only in limited or specific circumstances (frayromantic, lithromantic, greyromantic).

Coupled with the way that many aro-spec people can relate to her discomfort in being in a relationship with Gideon which she felt pressured into by both him and those around her, especially with Gideon’s stalkerish insistence on forcing her to love him even when she can’t and has no desire to, many aro-spec people often see themselves in her.

So what does this have to do with Bill and Ford? Put simply, during Weirdmageddon, Gideon’s feelings for and treatment of Mabel can be seen as paralleling Bill’s feelings for and treatment of Ford.

During Weirdmageddon Part 1, Bill promises Gideon the key to Mabel’s prison, using his feelings for her to keep him in line.

When Dipper calls Gideon out on this, he says the following:

“Bill explained it to me nice and simple. She was always destined to be mine. And now that I have her in a cage, she’ll learn to love me. I have an eternity to wait.”

These lines can easily be read as referring to Bill’s own feelings on Ford who he similarly has locked up under his power at the same time, with the reading only being enhanced by Gideon stating directly that Bill “explained” this point of view to him.

So, when taking into account that Mabel’s experiences with Gideon can also be read as aro-spec in nature, it becomes even easier to see how Ford being read as aroace can help to enhance his and Bill’s one-sided relationship dynamic as well.

Ford’s Recovery and the Power of Familial Love

As well as how reading Ford as aroace could help to show some of the ways in which his feelings about romance left him vulnerable to Bill’s manipulation, it can also help to enhance the ways in which Ford recovered from Bill’s manipulation and moved on to much happier and healthier relationships.

After all, above all else, Ford’s journey is a story about RECOVERY.

First, it is important to note that after Ford discovers that Bill has been manipulating him, Bill’s tactics to use Ford no longer work on him. Bill tries a few different times to try and convince Ford that he needs Bill, both just after Ford shuts down the portal and during weirdmageddon. But he fails each time.

This in itself, doesn’t really matter for an aroace reading. What does matter is the reason Bill continues to fail.

Every single time Bill fails, it is connected to Ford’s love for his family.

When he makes a joke about his “aim getting better,” not only is it a line he remembers from his father, but its one the fandom associates with Stan, his brother. By using it, he rejects Bill with a tactic taught to him by the very people Bill tries to convince him he can’t rely on.

When Bill offers him ultimate power, Ford rejects him immediately. It is only when Bill later threatens his family that Ford begins to consider giving in to him, and even then Stan’s love for all three of them and his sacrifice for them is what saves the entire world and Ford, Mabel, and Dipper's love is what eventually saves Stan.

If you read Ford and Bill’s relationship as romantic, then over and over again, you see this relationship rejected instead for familial love.

It is at this point that I want to make an important clarification:

I don’t believe romance to be a bad thing or something that needs to be rejected by society, nor do I think BillFord should be read as a stand-in for romance as a concept as it clearly is meant to be read as an abusive relationship.

The point I am trying to make with this post isn’t that because abuse can exist within romantic relationships, romance should be fully rejected or that abuse cannot exist in platonic and familial relationships.

The point I am making is that, when reading Ford as aroace and BillFord as romantic, his story becomes one where he goes from an amatonormative standpoint which left him vulnerable to abuse in his search for acceptance via romance, to one where he finds self-acceptance, safety, and love within his platonic bonds instead.

For an aroace audience, this can be an incredibly powerful message. 

Many of us feel a massive amount of pressure from society to conform to societal expectations and settle down with a romantic and sexual partner. Ford’s story works to reject that norm.

In a media landscape saturated with romance, this feels like a story where we can see ourselves.

[videogamelover99]

[Gravity Falls] Waking Days Ch. 2: Sorry

Summary: Bill Cipher is reborn, but not in the way he would have wanted. Stuck as a mortal and relying on those who brought his downfall, he realizes that maybe he didn't lie as hard as he should have. [AO3 Link] Characters: Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines, Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines, Jheselbraum the Unswerving, The Axolotl Pairings: past BillFord Rating: T

A/N: Chapter 2 is here! Thank you to @megxolotl and @nexstage for beta-reading this chapter. This was a fun one to write. Enjoy!

---

The pig poked his chubby head through the hole in the floor. “Oink.”

Mabel stepped forward. “Waddles! You silly goober! I was worried!”

“Your pet’s got some fun new upgrades.”

It took a moment to realize what Bill meant. There was a strange distortion around Waddles, not unlike an optical illusion, rendering the air around him in technicolor splashes. 

Mabel paused; a smile still frozen on her face.

What slowly freed itself from the hole in the floor, scattering wood and nails in its wake, was not a pig, per se. Or rather, it was too much pig. Too many heads stacked one atop the other like a horrifying totem pole. Legs with little hooves sticking out in odd places, most coalescing on the bottom, twenty or so, helping the creature skitter around like a big, pig-headed spider. It seemed to be shifting, constantly reforming. A head would emerge from the body, only to be replaced by a hoof, then a tail, then an eye. It was an ever-changing, ever-shifting mass of flesh. 

And it looked like Mabel’s pet pig.

“Waddles…” Mabel whispered, “What happened to you?”

Bill laughed, delighted. “Looks like you got a new and improved version, Star. One head’s so last year.”

The pig head closest to her gave her an experimental sniff. 

Mabel approached it again.

“Mabel! Don’t!” said Dipper. 

“It’s okay, see?” Mabel stretched out her hand. “Grunkle Ford will fix you, I promise. I told you not to eat weird stuff on the ground.”

A dozen sets of pig eyes blinked. The monster gave a small whimper. 

Then reared back as five more heads emerged, teeth chomping down on Mabel’s hand.

“Mabel!” Dipper yanked her out of the way, and the teeth snapped onto thin air. Several more heads screeched in unison.

OINKoinkOiNkoinkoinkOINKoinK!

The three humans scrambled back. Bill looked a lot less ecstatic now that he knew it might eat them.

“Gift shop!” Dipper yelled. “Basement!”

The pig creature gave chase, all of its twenty legs slipping on wooden floors and old carpets. They turned the corner, and the creature followed, its momentum making it slam into the opposite wall before its way too many feet picked up traction. 

They ran into the gift shop and Dipper quickly put in the code. The vending machine hissed, opening up far too slowly. 

The monster was right behind them.

Dipper screamed. Bill let out a string of sounds that might’ve been curse words if they sounded anything like human language.

Mabel reached into her pocket and threw the first object she could find, which was a half-eaten bar of chocolate.

Momentarily distracted, the monster scrambled after the treat. The vending machine opened, and the three of them rushed inside. 

—

Sitting on the bottom floor of the basement, the remnants of the destroyed portal door still embedded in the rocks, Mabel tried very hard not to cry. She watched as her brother paced back and forth, strung out and agitated.

“So, Waddles is now a cursed mutated monster. Any ideas on how that happened?” Dipper glared at Bill. 

“Why do you think it’s my fault?!”

“Because it looks like a horrifying crime against nature? Seems right up your alley!”

“Not that I don’t like the credit, but it tried to kill me, too!”

“Okay,” Dipper said, “Okay, okay, okay, this is fine. We’ll just. Wait for Grunkle Ford to show up. Or Stan. Wait, you don’t think Waddles ate them, do you?”

“Nah…” Bill dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand. “If Sixer got taken down by freakish livestock, that’d be one hell of an insult.”

“Then we’ll just wait, or maybe if Grunkle Ford has any weapons…” Dipper shot another glance at Bill and trailed off. “Actually, how about we just wait.”

“Great idea! Hey, when we run out of rations, who’s eating who first?”

“We’re not gonna be here that long.”

“You plan to literally sit here and do nothing.”

“Do you have a better plan?!”

“Ugh!” Bill walked off, fuming. “‘Get a physical form,’ they said, ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said. Well, I know who’s laughing now!”

Mabel watched Bill pick up an old piece of scrap metal and throw it at the wall. Her eyes met Dipper’s, and she looked away, chewing on a piece of her hair.

“Hey,” Dipper sat down next to her. “We’ll get Waddles back. Like you said, maybe Grunkle Ford knows a way to fix him!”

“But what happened to him?” 

“I don’t know. But whatever it is, it has to be reversible, we just need to-”

Mabel tucked her face into her sweater and sniffled.

“H-hey, come on, there’s still hope.”

“Bill was right.”

“What?”

With her face hidden in the sweater, Mabel couldn’t see Dipper. Couldn’t see anything. Good, she didn’t want to. “About me. If I didn’t treat Waddles like that, then maybe-”

“Mabel, you’re not seriously thinking he became a horrible monster because you put him in an outfit.”

“But what if he hated it?”

“You can’t listen to Bill! He was pulling your leg, Mabel! Messing with you! Because he’s the worst!”

She looked at Bill, far enough from the twins that he couldn’t hear them. He was scowling at the ground as if it had personally offended him. “It really was just a big joke to him, huh?” 

A big joke. Mabel had spent the whole day worrying about Waddles, thinking he had left because he was unhappy. Because she didn’t care enough to see that he was unhappy. And it was all a big joke. And it wasn’t even funny.

She got up abruptly. Dipper shuffled back nervously. “Mabel?”

“You!” Mabel marched up to the used-to-be-demon and looked him right in the eye. Bill seemed equally as surprised at her sudden outburst. “You’re a jerk!”

“Wow, really? Color me surprised!” Bill put one hand against his chest, swooning in dramatic fashion. “You’re really hurting my feelings here, Star.”

“I don’t care!” Mabel shoved him away, causing him to stumble. “I hate you!”

“Yeah, duh. The feeling’s mutual.”

For a moment, Mabel froze at the cold nature of that statement. She’d knitted him a sweater. She’d been nice to him, and he was-

“You made me think Waddles left me!”

“You’re still mad about that? And they call me out for having a few petty grudges. Yeesh. What happened to all that forgiveness crap you like to tout around in your delusional little mind?”

“You don’t deserve it,” Mabel hissed. Bill fell silent, wide-eyed. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and she didn’t care. 

The ground shook under her feet. Mabel looked down. 

“Oh no,” said Dipper.  

The dirt between Dipper and Mabel erupted in a shower of dust. Bits of rock hit Mabel and she shielded her face. She coughed and looked up. 

 SCREEEEE!

Dozens of pig heads screeched in unison. Beady little eyes stared at Mabel and Dipper in turn. 

“Split up!” Dipper yelled and ran for cover toward the busted-up control station. Mabel ran the other way, ducking behind the boulders that used to hold up the portal a summer ago, Bill not far behind. Not!Waddles scampered after them, its legs moving in spider-like unison. It lost its footing on the portal debris, struggling to scamper over with its stubby little hooves, and Mabel ducked behind one of the boulders to catch her breath. 

Bill was right beside her. He was wheezing.

“Why…hah…are your breathing sacs so…inefficient?”

“Maybe it’s ‘cause you lounge around all day like a couch potato,” She muttered. 

“If you’re gonna compare me to a vegetable, at least do it to something less round.”

“Couch po-ta-to,” she huffed.

“...Are you still mad? I can’t tell if you’re still mad.”

“I’m still mad!” 

“Shh!”

Mabel winced. They listened quietly for the signs of Not!Waddles, who seemed to have given up on the chase for now. It was too quiet. 

Snort, snort. Oink. 

Never mind. Mabel peeked around the boulder to see ten of the heads sniffing the ground, the long totem pole neck they were attached to bent in a bow shape. In her rush to get away, she’d dropped more chocolate crumbs. The monster was inhaling them with the speed of a dozen-headed vacuum cleaner. 

Waddles loved doing that whenever someone was cooking. He’d sit there, waiting for them to drop something edible, and would slurp it from the floor, getting slobber all over the tiles, then wait for the next slip-up. Her parents hated it. 

It was still Waddles in there. Whether anyone else believed it or not, she could see it. 

“I think I know how to beat him,” Mabel whispered, putting her hand in her pocket to grab her chocolate bar.

“Really? Come on then, give us your genius plan.”

“You have to say sorry first.”

Bill gave her a look that might’ve meant she’d also grown a second head if it wasn’t normal number of heads by Bill’s standards. “What.”

“Sorry,” she repeated. “For what you said earlier.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“You know what.”

“No.”

“Then I guess we’re stuck here forever.” she leaned against the rock, trying to act nonchalant and not at all terrified for her life.

“Shooting Star.”

“Say sorry.”

“Do you want to die?! Do you want your pet to eat you?”

“I know you won’t mean it,” Mabel said. “But I wanna hear you say it anyway.”

“I’m not-”

Bill’s sharp noise alerted the monster, who raised all of its heads and stared at their hiding place, eyes blank. 

Mabel glared stubbornly at Bill. 

The monster drew near. She could hear the pattering of its feet, one big marching band of footsteps. 

“Mabel Pines-!”

A few feet away now. Five seconds or so, and that would be it.

“Say it!”

“FINE! I’m sorry!”

Mabel turned and flung half of the chocolate bar as far as she could. The pig heads screeched and ran after it, slobber dripping from its mouths. “Go, go, go!” she cried. 

Together, they ran through the cavern and into the control room. 

—

Ford swung back another flask of Cosmic Sand and slammed it on the table with a little more force than necessary, causing the owner of said table to eye him with clear disapproval. He winced apologetically and caught the few drops that trickled down the flask’s edges. “I can’t believe this is happening. Actually, I can believe this is happening, it’s-”

“Bill.” Jheselbraum’s voice didn’t carry any inflection, but the way she said that monster’s name still made Ford shiver.

“Yes. Bill.” Ford wanted to stand up, but the room was spinning too much for his drunken brain to think it was a good idea. “This is all his fault.”

The Oracle shrugged elegantly. “It is.”

“And to think my family wants to play house with him! Like a stray they found on the street!” Ford slumped further onto the table. “It’s all because he looks human.” He spat. “The kids, even Stan, they all feel sorry for him!”

“He is human. Technically speaking.” 

“Yes, but…well, there’s plenty of human psychopaths and people don’t usually volunteer to have them around the house!”

“That’s true,” she took a sip from her flask. “Do you see it as a betrayal? On your family’s part? After all you’ve been through?” After all he put you through, was left unspoken. 

“No, of course not. They’re just…trying to do the right thing. And I understand we can’t just…dump him in an insane asylum or in the middle of a desert, knowing what he’s capable of. Or-”

“Kill him?”

He glanced up. The Oracle’s eyes were challenging behind her flask. 

“Are you…suggesting it?”

Jheselbraum laughed. “No, I’m not. I just assumed that’s where your thoughts drifted to.”

He suddenly felt the need to change the subject. The conversation made something old and desperate claw at him from inside, a desperation he only remembered on his frantic run through the multiverse. “May I ask you something?” 

He had killed. But he wasn’t a killer. Right?

“Go ahead,” she said, crossing one leg elegantly over the other. In the large chair meant for a much taller creature, she looked a little silly in that new human disguise she was sporting.

“Why don’t you change? Back to how you looked like when we met?”

“I’m not a shapeshifter, Ford. I can’t just take on my old form when I asked for this new one. It was a favor I’m not comfortable trading in every time I travel between your dimension and mine.”

“I see.” Ford picked up the flask, then put it down again. “So, this is what you look like now? Like a human?”

“It’s just an appearance. I am not human, nor was I ever. Sorry to disappoint.”

“What are you then? Your old form didn’t look like anyone from this dimension.”

“Because I am not from this dimension.” For a moment Jheselbraum looked like she did when a vision came to her. Somewhere in the distance, she saw something. Or maybe remembered. “I am an oracle, Stanford. Let’s leave it at that.”

Ford had the nagging feeling that his interdimensional friend was keeping something from him. He’d looked into oracles after he had met her for the first time. They were immortal beings, capable of seeing into the past, present, or future of anyone they wished. And yet, according to the records he’d stolen from the Glocknoor Archives in dimension 38.1, they typically assumed the appearance of whoever they were before they’d been given the gift.

And they were always given the gift by someone. All oracles, at some point in time, had been mortal.

Ford looked up at the tapestry hanging on the wall in front of him. The pink stitching of the amphibian creature made it seem more abstract, but the Cosmic Axolotl - the deity countless dimensions worshiped as a god of knowledge and benevolence - was without a doubt real. 

If he were real, why did he let Bill Cipher kill so many?

Jheselbraum followed his gaze to the tapestry.

“The one who lent you the favor?” Ford joked.

“How did you guess?”

“What, really?” 

“The Axolotl is my patron. I thought that was obvious enough.”

“You have a private line with the Axolotl.”

Jheselbraum shrugged. “It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. He checks in once in a while.”

“Some say he’s the most powerful being there is.”

“Well, I doubt that’s true, the multiverse is too vast of a place. But he is powerful.” 

Suddenly his reluctance to bother her was gone, emboldened by the new information. “Back when we first met, you said Bill had tricked you. Or that he didn’t mean to trick you, but-”

“That’s a long story, Stanford.”

“But-”

“And I don’t believe now is a good time to talk about that.” Her reply was curt.

Ford sighed. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Jheselbraum sighed. “I’m not upset, I’m simply-” Suddenly she froze, staring off into the distance. In the dim light, it was almost like her eyes were glowing. “You want to be getting back.”

“What? Why?”

“Your family needs you. Right about now I believe.” She stood up to look for the dimensional scissors, only to find them on a higher shelf than she was able to reach. “I might have to think this arrangement through,” she muttered, and Ford tried his best not to laugh.

“Here.” He took them from the shelf. “Thank you. Again. I can’t express how much-”

“Yes, yes, I’m very nice and very generous to help you with a potential multi-universal catastrophe,” she said. “Now go.”

—

“Okay, ready?” Dipper asked, holding up Grunkle Ford’s Schrodinger Pistol. Mabel gave him a thumbs up. “How’s it looking?”

Bill peered out into the cavern where they’d last left Waddles (Anti-Waddles? EldrichWaddles? Waddles-thulu? Dipper was gonna have to workshop that name). “Not great! With a whiff of old-man sadness and a slight chance of too much pig.” 

“I’m gonna take it as a ‘pig is in position’.” 

Mabel took out the remaining half of her chocolate bar, and tossed some into the cave, sprinkling a path into the control room. Dipper saw the monster raise its neck, sniffing out the space. Most of its mouths were smeared in a thick layer of chocolate. It skittered toward them, and Dipper tightened the grip on the gun. He knew how to use it, no problem. He’d tested it on a coffee cup earlier. It would be fine, right?

Having reached the last crumb, Waddlesthulu’s eyes looked up at Mabel, who held up the last piece, grinning triumphantly. 

The pig heads oinked in unison and rushed toward her. Dipper pulled the trigger. 

SCREEE!

He missed. The ball of light hit a can of beans on the shelf behind the monster. A blue cube formed around it and clattered to the ground. 

Dipper had exactly two seconds to think oh shit before the creature rushed them. Dipper dove to the side. He saw Mabel frantically searching her pockets for more chocolate and coming up empty.

But the pig was done with the chocolate, having already picked its next target. It scurried toward Bill, slobber pooling out of its mouths and onto the ground. 

Bill scrambled back, shrieking: “Great aim, Pine Tree!”

“Shut up! This is hard!”

Dipper aimed the pistol again and pulled the trigger.

It gave a pitiful, sputtering sound. 

“Any moment now, kid!”

Dipper hit the barrel with his fist. 

“Dipper!” yelled Mabel.

Still wrestling with the gun, Dipper watched in horror as the monster snapped one of its jaws at Bill’s foot. Bill yelped and jumped back, only to trip over a loose wire and fall to the ground. He crawled backward until he hit a wall, the panic in his eyes rendering him mute. 

Bill wasn’t a great guy, but even he didn’t deserve to be eaten by twenty pigs. 

The pig head with the longest neck unhinged its jaw, and-

Snapped at the air when Mabel tackled Bill out of the way.

As if by some miracle, the gun in Dipper’s hands made a noise. He pulled the trigger. 

The box, twice the size of a grown man, fell to the ground. No growling or oinking or screeching, it was like the pig had never existed in the first place. 

Dipper rushed toward his sister, dropping the gun. “Mabel?!”

“We’re a-okay!” she called when he came close enough to look her over. Next to her, Bill was yet to get out of the tangle of limbs but said limbs were all still there. Mabel tapped Bill gently on the shoulder. “Bill?”

Bill’s eyes snapped to her, a little wild. “I’m alive,” he said, as a statement of fact.

Then he burst out laughing.

Dipper and Mabel shared a long, concerned look with each other. “Uh,” Dipper tried to reach for him, then chose not to. “You alright, man?”

“Alright? I’m GREAT! FANTASTIC!” Bill got up on shaky feet, still laughing. He wiped a tear from his eye. 

He walked over to the box containing the monster and knocked on it with his foot. “Not bad,” he said, the laughter finally dying down. 

“My plan worked! Told ya!” Mabel grinned. 

“Y-yeah,” Dipper felt his nerves leaving him. He sat on the ground, limbs heavy and unresponsive. They hadn’t faced this much danger since last summer.  

“Kids!” Everyone turned to see Ford emerge from an open portal. “I heard you’re in trouble.” 

Bill let out another jittery giggle. “You’ve got great timing, Fordsy.”

“You! What did you do?!” Ford stomped over to Bill, backing him against the wall. 

“Not that I don’t love being the harbinger of your family’s misery,” Bill said, grinning maniacally. “But as much as you’d hate to admit it, not everything is my fault.”

“It’s okay, Grunkle Ford,” Mabel rushed between them and put a calming hand on Ford’s arm. “We took care of it. Right, guys?” 

Before Dipper could say anything, the elevator behind them gave a loud DING, and out stepped a gross, hideous creature covered in mud and brambles. 

Stan’s bloodshot eyes found Bill. “You!”

He stumbled toward his source of misery, only to trip over the shoes still half-glued to his feet.

Bill’s grin vanished. 

“Wow, nice chat! Stay paranoid, Pine Tree, gotta go, bye!” 

—

“Fascinating.” Having transferred the new creature into a more permanent and more quantum-stable holding pen, Ford circled it, taking pauses once in a while to write in his journal.

“Can you fix him, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel looked forlornly through the green-colored forcefield at her mutated pet. The many heads of Waddles gobbled up the chocolate-flavored cereal with the same enthusiasm old Waddles did. Dipper squeezed her shoulder. 

“Well, first we need to figure out how he got like this. And I think I have an idea.” Ford stopped next to Mabel and crouched down. He pointed his pen at the outline of the pig. “These colorful optical patterns on the outside, do they remind you of something?”

“Y-yeah…” Mabel’s eyes widened in realization, “That’s just like the sky in…”

The Nightmare Realm.

—

He’d known the old man was hiding something from him.

The cold wind picked up, and Bill shivered, even in the thick knitted sweater. He trudged through the trees, finding his footing in the near-darkness through the power of sheer stubborn will. 

Mabel Pines. She was a tricky one, and unlike his brother, hard to pin down on what she wanted at any given moment. Mabel Land was one of his best concoctions, and it hadn’t worked, which meant he was gonna have to bide his time and figure her out. 

For now, he would have to play nice. He could play nice. 

Bill stumbled into the clearing. The rift shone through the temporal field in all its multicolored glory, crackling with energy. The field itself was probably the work of Seven Eyes, but that wasn’t a problem.

Bill reached through the field, feeling his arm press against the artificial time dilation inside. He had no idea if this would even work. He was gonna have to play it by ear.

If there was anything Bill Cipher was good at, aside from, well, lots of things, it was playing it by ear. 

His fingertips touched the rift, and the whole world exploded in color and sound. He reeled back, only to realize he was falling backward. 

And then everything was black and white. 

Bill Cipher looked down at the body on the ground, the body he’d been imprisoned in for so long. The mindscape opened up around him, washing the world in a familiar twisting greyscale.

And he laughed.

---

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[authoramandaparsons]

If you're a fan of romances between the lovable rogue and the hyper-capable devotee (Billford fans I'm looking at you 👀👀👀) my new romantasy might be right up your alley. ❤️

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Blessed be the Sanguine God.

Alexander, military commander of the empire of Corvale and avatar of the mysterious Sanguine God, embarks on a campaign to forge ties with the rest of the continent--a tricky task, as their neighbors view their nation as bloodthirsty usurpers.

As Alexander's efforts plunge into a calamity of ambushes, cunning political schemes, and a bold deception to pass off prostitutes as religious envoys, he slowly begins to understand the true nature of the empire he has sworn to defend.

All the while, he is slowly becoming more invested in the life of a male prostitute from the Bill, a flirtatious rapscallion whose unique perspective begins causing Alexander's perfectly maintained facade to crack--and emotions he'd long buried to rise to the surface.

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My Time of Blood in the Snow is available for Preorder NOW on Amazon! OFFICIAL RELEASE 11/01/2024!