#bill hader i am outside your house

[chompachompa]

I am terrified for the series finale

[blessyouhawkeye]

BILL HADER I AM FUCKING OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

[maerenee930]

stupid and random things that popped into my head/that happened and made me laugh/giggle at work recently (to myself 😅) and that i thought i would share -

1. “derbel mcdillet” - nothing else with this, literally just bill hader’s voice in my head saying this 😂 (it’s just so funny and stupid. it makes me laugh every time i think about it. 😂)

2. “You look familiar.” - “Like your dead girlfriend?” 😳😂 - no other part of the song at first, just that specific part randomly popping into my head throughout the day 😅🤦‍♀️ (idk why but that line and the way rosario dawson says it just kills me. it has since i was like 14 lol)

3. “wait, am i dello or donna?” - young donald duck (from the newer ducktales) asking his sister (della) this after scrooge mixes up their names and is calling them to go on an adventure with him. 😂 (i don’t know why this made me laugh so hard, but it did. i think it was the voice too that just made it even better lol.)

(there’s more under the cut 😅 i figure i wrote a lot and don’t wanna make anyone have to scroll through all of this especially if they’re not like all that interested in all this randomness and stupidity lol. which i totally get 😂 my brain is something else lmao. and it’s not for everyone 😅)

4. steve rogers during the schwarma scene in a angers. just how he sits and and his facial expression- it just makes me giggle. he’s just so cute and adorable 😄 and cause it’s so relatable. like for real, it’s me pretty much all the time lmao.

5. telling one of my coworkers a story about my aunt (my mom’s oldest sister/the one i work with) from when she was a like 3 or 4 (i think i’m not 100% sure atm. but i do know she was very young) and she and my grandparents had moved back to italy. and one time when they (my grandparents and aunt) went to a relative’s house and she told the one of the relatives who lived there that “her mom’s house back in america was never this dirty” 😂 the sass!! like i just love it so much!

6. me thinking about when i was a kid and go swimming in our pool, we would have to keep our distance from my mom if she was also in the pool because she hated being splashed. (i mean i get it lol, it can be very annoying. especially when the water is cold lol) and one day my brother kept splashing her on purpose (which was very out of character for him cause of the two of us, he was the good one. he was the one who stayed out of trouble lol). so she asked him to stop nicely and then progressively got more frustrated with him when he didn’t stop. so then finally he did stop. but then, he genuinely on accident splashed her again and she turned to him and says “look here you little fucker” 😂 which wasn’t like our mom lol. she didn’t like swear at us when we were kids unless we made her really mad lol.

7. “you swore on my face” - me when i was maybe 3 years old. i did something (i got into trouble/cause trouble quite a bit when i was that small lol) and she called me a little shit. shocked and very offended by my mother not only calling me that but for swearing (again, she didn’t normally swear at us lol. it was rare that she did and that’s why it was kind of a big deal when she actually did lol. but now, she swears like a sailor lmao. and i absolutely take after her and get that from her 😅😂)

8. “you fuhting kidding me?” - my bruceman 🖤 when i was still his nanny, he used to say this all the time lol. and the very first time he said it, it was one morning when he was eating breakfast and while his parents were getting ready for work/not too long before i got to their house to spend the day with my little dude. and so his mom asked his dad if he let their dog back in yet (or tried to get her to come in. she reeeeally loves being outside 😄 i miss her 🥺😢 anywayy…). he told her no, not yet. and before he could say anything else, my buddy looked over at his dad while standing on his chair at their kitchen table so he could see him better and very annoyed says “ugh, you fuhting kidding me?!” 😂 i couldn’t believe it when they told me he said that lmao! i mean it didn’t surprise me that he swore, he did that on and off quite a bit lol. but the fact that this (at the time) 3 year old little shit used it correctly! too perfect and too funny. we (my family and i) say it all the time now. (this happened back in 2020 lol)

- there are sooo many other random and stupid little things i think about during the day or things that happen to me while i’m at work (i realize i didn’t really mention anything that like actually happened to me. but i figure i can always add some moments like that on here another time lol) but for now i’ll post this as it is and i’ll update this with more stuff soon lol.

[whenyourheartstopsbeating]

“I know where I’m going. And I don’t want you to go to the same place.”

[hermywolf]

ranking my favorite characters about random shit part 5

ranking my favorite characters (clarke griffin, dean winchester, fox mulder, rose tyler, newt, kaz brekker, samwise gamgee, charles xavier, bill denbrough, lord asriel, steve rogers, scott mccall, anna milton and barry berkman) about random shit. this is entirely self-indulgent

Part 5: How they’d react to a breakup (i’m imagining a completely random oc as the one breaking up with them because if i start thinking of the people i ship them with breaking up with them i WILL cry)

1- NEWT

he’s the sweetest man on earth he’d want to talk about it and understand his partner’s reasons and he’d be so kind and understanding even though he’d be sad lemme tell you this man is a SAINT

2- STEVE ROGERS

sweet understanding KING. absolute TREASURE. he’d be so confused and sad at first but he’d be SO understanding UGH i am in love with this man

3- SCOTT MCCALL

remember when allison sorta kinda broke up with him and he was all sweet and kind about it and said that he believed they would find their way to each other again eventually. yeah. iconic behavior. king shit

4- SAMWISE GAMGEE

he’s the PRESIDENT of ‘let’s stay friends!’ squad he’ll definitely stay in touch with all his exes they’re all his absolute besties

5- CHARLES XAVIER

mr telepath mindreader therapist teacher man absolutely sees it coming from a thousand miles away and he might even be the one to bring it up so that his partner doesn’t worry about it. he will be sad but he gets over it in a healthy way because he’s (MOSTLY) in touch with his feelings

6- ANNA MILTON

for a fallen angel with a bit of a god complex she’s surprisingly well adjusted. i think she’s the kind to definitely stay friends with her exes except like two of them which she’s got five different plans to murder each. all in all if it’s a healthy breakup they stay friends if it involves cheating she’s out to get you motherfucker and you know what you deserve it i mean who the FUCK would cheat on ANNA MILTON of all people istg

7- DEAN WINCHESTER

whoever thinks dean is emotionally constipated enough to be the ‘i didnt like u anyway’ kind has NOT seen spn 1x13 road 666 like GUYS. he pretends to be this no-chick-flick-moments and no-attachment kinda dude but we all know he actually cares SO much and if you look at his relationship with cassie or lisa he’s actually pretty open and communicative and sincere and he geniunely tries to talk about shit with them?? so he does have a constructive and heartfelt conversation and says he understands but he also WILL cope by either going on more hunts to distract himself or by locking himself in his room with pizza and movies in his hotdog pants and send noods socks, s14 style. TONS of ice cream. he’ll ghost his ex for a while when he’s coping with it but then later on they do end up being besties (yes i AM on the team dean-becomes-bff-with-all-his-exes don’t mind me just spreading my dean being besties with anna, cassie, lisa,amara, benny and crowley agenda)

8- BILL DENBROUGH

he’s pissed and sad and offended and grumpy and confused he just feels a LOT of shit at the same time like he’s having a full breakdown inside but from the outside his reaction is pretty much ‘what. oh. ok’

9- LORD ASRIEL

he does not, and mark my words on this one, give a single fuck. he IS what kaz pretends to be and what ketterdam thinks he is. asriel does not give a FLYING FUCK he’s like ‘well ok then see you around i guess’ and then just moves on. he was probably cheating on his partner anyway if we’re being honest here, he’s just that terrible. god why is he my favorite character again- oh right he’s insanely hot and wants to murder god right right that tracks

10- FOX MULDER

he’s extremely sweet and compassionate and understanding but then he disappears for like five months to chase down an alien in guatemala or some shit and then comes back pretending as if nothing happened at all

11- CLARKE GRIFFIN

she’s NOT happy about it and gets all grumpy and pouty and will angrily rant about it to her friends for ages but then once she’s over it she’s like. OVER over it. she completely moves on, like full on flip the switch and the feelings are GONE

12- ROSE TYLER

full breakdown in her room with tubs and tubs of ice cream wondering what she did wrong and then probably gets offered by a friend to go throw eggs at their house or some dumb shit. rose says no but she ALMOST did it. she keeps asking if there’s someone else even when it’s very clear that there’s NOT.

13- KAZ BREKKER

allow me to introduce you to the pettiest bitch on EARTH. he will definitely not hurt his ex in any way but he’ll do his absolute best to show them how much they’re missing. like he’s PETTY about it he’ll hold a gruge months, no year, no DECADES after it happened. he shows absolutely no emotions whatsoever you’d barely notice there’s been any change in his behavior, he’s not, like, sad or angry or anything, he’s just suddenly VERY devoted to the fact that everyone must know how AMAZING he’s doing and how rich and powerful and feared he is and how much a hypothetical ex-partner is missing. like this bitch probably has a full twenty pages long plan about what to do in case he gets dumped so that his ex will regret it terribly. and the worst is that kaz is a smart bitch who knows people’s weaknesses and how to exploit them so it WORKS it works and he absolutely loves it, jesper is like ‘dude how come every single time you got dumped they came back asking you to get back together only for you to reject them EXACTLY five months later’ and kaz hiding the twenty pages long binder with his elaborated plan behind his back as if it wasn’t carefully calculated and just shrugging like ‘idk i guess im a catch’ he makes everyone SO angry and honestly good for him!

14- BARRY BERKMAN

two words: murder spree. healthy coping mechanisms WHO we don’t know her in this house he’s sad and angry and he’s going to make it YOUR problem. guns out angry bill hader face ON baby. pew pew motherfucker it’s murder time. bam thirty casualties. rip to them. and he doesn’t even feel better after it either he’s crushed by guilt and having ANOTHER breakdown which will result in MORE ptsd and more sadness and anger and eventually ANOTHER breakdown and ANOTHER murder spree. its a lose-lose situation for everyone. except for his partner who’s free of his shit now i guess so true of them

[thewintermusketeer]

This started off as a little reddie drabble to cheer up @skinks , based off her tags and thirsting for bill hader, particularly inspired by this post. It’s now over 1.5k and I absolutely did not read it over before punting it off to my love @benevolentbridgetroll to look over, so if this makes sense it is only due to her help.

Disclaimer: I have not seen the movie/read the book/am not part of this fandom so this is purely based of the SCU (skinks cinematic universe).

They’ve been couch shopping. Of all the things, that’s the catalyst. If Eddie were a pessimist (which he’s not, he’s just sensible, Christ, Richie, it is literally my job to think about worst case scenarios) then he’d say the whole ‘being stabbed in the face and then stabbed again in an even more vital area, in a manner commonly called impaling’ had messed with his judgement. However, that would imply that something else is messing with his reasoning, and Eddie has been through enough therapy by now to understand exactly which thoughts and behaviours are his own. And this? Unfortunately, this is all Eddie.

Anyway, the issue is that Richie sat on a couch. A couch that they were buying together, because they live together. They live together, and they cook together (or rather Eddie tries to cook healthily, and then when he ruins it Richie makes something with far too much fat and salt in it, that’s still better than take out at least). They go shopping for groceries together. They’re the most boring middle-aged couple in the world, and yet neither of them have actually got the balls to call themselves one. They both know there’s something there. Something hanging in the space between them, important words swallowed behind more and more insults because Eddie never thought he’d feel like he’d die if he didn’t hear another ‘yo mama’ joke. It was strong enough for Eddie to move to Florida with Richie, to get away from New York and Myra, even if the latter was something he’d have done anyway, as soon as his memories started coming back. But it’s still unsaid. Not acted upon.

And Eddie is pretty sure they’d have stayed like that for a while longer, in a holding pattern made comfortable by the fact it’s not comfortable; Richie pushes him, dares him and goads him like he did when they were children, and Eddie still can’t believe he forgot how it feels to want to shove Richie right in his stupid square face, even as he can’t stop laughing. Richie makes him feel like life is actually worth living, and not something to be calculated and analysed and rationed. Of course, Richie also makes him feel fucking horny. Which is exactly the problem.

Richie sat on a show couch – and Eddie doesn’t even want to think about how many other fucking people have been near that thing – and Eddie barely stopped himself from crawling onto his lap right there in the shop and jerking off onto his shitty logo t-shirt. He was wearing converse for Christ’s sake. Shoes that provide no fucking ankle or arch support. No forty-year-old man should look sexy wearing converse and a baseball cap. And yet Eddie wanted to measure the exact diameter of Richie’s chest using his thighs. Maybe years of being called a loser and a square had sunk in, subliminally, because the fucking stupid rectangular breadth of Richie’s chest had made Eddie feel crazy.  He wanted to be wrapped up in Richie’s gorilla arms, wanted to feel the gentle scratch of his arm hair against his own bare skin. Wanted to watch the clench of Richie’s hands against the back of the sofa if Eddie dropped to his knees in front of him, telling him not to touch his fucking hair until he’d washed his hands, Jesus Christ. Wanted to see if Richie would laugh during sex, as well.

But he didn’t. Instead they bought the couch, after he’d checked the fire regulations. He had left the shop with Richie, who’d slung one arm around his shoulders, and the weight of his arm, the warmth of him against Eddie’s side, was as reassuring as it was a turn-on.

“Guess we’re parents now, Eds. Or, we will be when our bouncing baby boy gets delivered next week.” Eddie feels the laugh building in Richie’s chest before he even speaks. “I’m so glad you kept your figure though, babe, a couch that big must’ve been murder on your hips.”

“You’d know all about bad hips, fuck face, or am I imagining the old man complaining I heard this morning?” Eddie would say he’d replied on autopilot, but a larger portion of his brain than he liked to admit was always focused on Richie, like a radio that always tuned back to one station.

“It’s not my fault your mom rode me so hard last night, is it?”

Eddie hadn’t been able to stop his snort. Forty fucking years old and the same joke was still funny. He’d looked out the corner of his eyes at the dumb smile Richie was sporting, all because he’d made him laugh. Richie needed a shave and stepping outside the air conditioned shop was enough to make his glasses steam up a bit, but it hadn’t stop Eddie’s raging, improbable thoughts about the line of his jaw beneath the stubble, about how he wanted to turn it into a slip n’ slide with his dick. About how he wanted to feel the bob of his Adam’s apple fucking massaging Eddie’s armpit, or something. 

Eddie hadn’t even realised they’d reached the car until Richie’s arm left his shoulders as he walked round to the passenger door. But now he was here, sat in the driver’s seat of the car – of course I’m fucking driving Richie, you drive at about 100 miles an hour even though you get car sick – sweat drying on his skin as the A/C blew, unable to tear his eyes away from the long, be-denimed legs that were currently folding themselves into the car. The slight jolt of the car’s suspension as Richie settled the breadth of his shoulders against the seat felt like it went straight to Eddie’s dick.

Fuck it. Fuck this ‘unsaid thing’ bullshit. Fuck pussyfooting around, when the two of them already share a life together. Fuck Richie Tozier in particular, and hopefully fucking soon.

“What’s wrong? Have I got something on my face? I don’t think I do, I’ve been told that that’s unfortunately just how my face is.” Richie’s eyebrows look like they’re attempting to perform the macarena with the kind of enthusiasm only seen at an eight year old’s birthday party when cake time is announced. Eddie wants to lick them.

“Should I get a cool face scar? I mean you’re really pulling it off - ” Eddie cuts Richie off with his mouth. He was aiming for Richie’s lips but he’ll take the chin he gets, mouthing openly, the stubble stinging his lips.

“Wha-” Richie gets out, more an exhalation of air that Eddie feels against his face. He steals Richie’s next breath, kissing him properly, one hand leaning across to brace him against Richie’s thigh. One of Richie’s hands comes up to cradle his face and fuck, Eddie wants it to never leave his body, wants it on his face and his neck and his legs and his back, and to hold it with their fingers interlaced like a promise. Richie pulls back just far enough to press a kiss to the scar on his cheek and Eddie feels like he might cry.

Instead, he says, “I love you. Dickwad.” The insult is tacked on the end almost as an afterthought, because for all it’s funny to insult each other, Eddie wants Richie to know how serious he’s being. The problem is that the moment feels too serious. They’re in their own little bubble in the car, but Eddie is still acutely aware of the people walking past on the other sidewalk, can hear the sounds of traffic. He suddenly wishes it was just the two of them, back in the home they’re making together with their terrible decorating choices and the orthopaedic mattress Eddie is now hoping they’ll be sharing.

Richie’s face turns soft. “I wanted to say it first, asshole. Always stealing my thunder. I can’t have anything in this relationship. Didn’t even get to choose our anniversary date.”

Eddie tightens his grip on the thigh beneath his hand, sliding his fingers down onto Richie’s inseam; Richie’s legs spread gratifyingly fast, and Eddie can’t help but lean back in for another kiss. Richie seems to be trying to suck his tongue into his mouth this time, and he can’t help but be extremely into it. They’re only interrupted by a honk from a passing car, and Eddie is reminded again that getting home is a good idea. He separates himself from Richie reluctantly and fastens his seat belt, raising an eyebrow at Richie until he does the same. He starts the engine, but just before he prepares to pull out the parking space he considers Richie’s last statement.

“You can decide our anniversary if you propose. Of course, your mom might get there first, but if you think about exactly what you want do to when we get back to the house, it might net you preferential treatment.”

Richie looks a bit dazed. “You want a list, baby? I can do that, Mr Sexy Analyst. Alphabetical?”

The look Eddie levels him is particularly judgemental. He cannot believe he’s about to fuck this man. “Chronological, moron.”

“Anything you want, Eds.”

Eddie doesn’t think Richie knows exactly how long that list is. He’s looking forward to finding out himself.

[allforhader]

Coffee or Tea

Bill Hader x (F) Reader

Warnings: N/A

“Guys guys!” John smiles walking into the SNL set catching all his friends’ attention. “I’d like to introduce you guys to a close friend of mine”

“And mine. Don’t exclude me like last time Mulaney” Kristen smiles joining them with said friend, Y/N. “This is Y/N, and she’s the newest member to our SNL family”

“Hey” Y/N smiles waving at the ones she doesn’t know.

“Go ahead and introduce yourself to people Y/N, I gotta go check the schedule for this upcoming Saturday”

“Alright” Y/N smiles as Kristen left her but John was still around in case she needed a buffer of some sorts.

Bill quickly pulled John over before Y/N can introduce herself to him. John was confused with what Bill was doing but thinking ahead-

“Do you not like her already?” Okay, not exactly what Bill expected to come out of John’s mouth.

“I wouldn’t assume John”

“Then. What other reason did you pull me away for?”

“I-...God I don’t even know” Bill let go of John’s arm as Y/N headed over to the two with a smile on her face.

“Hey uh. John I’m gonna step out for a quick minute. Call me if you need me” Y/N was about to just walk passed Bill when she stops. “Uh. They’ve always introduce me to new people instead of having me do it myself so. Hey” she smiles at Bill as he couldn’t help but return it.

“Bill Hader”

“Yeah, I know you from a mile away Hader” Y/N smirks before going to do her thing.

Bill felt his heart racing as John watches the tips of his ears turn red. He snickers to himself getting a death stare from Bill.

“What? Do you want me to tell you she’s a fan of your work or something? Jesus Bill” John laughs going to find Kristen to go over a skit he had in mind.

After a while they were all sat around the table pitching ideas and agreeing on most. Y/N was the newest and mainly was only going to be placed where she needed to be. Bill kept watch her nursing her drink as she wrote down notes on the skits that had him in it. John sat with her looking over what she was writing and he agreed with a few things. Bill wouldn’t stop thinking about what kind of character Y/N is. A fan? Another critic? Or just a person he’s got his eyes set on? Honestly could be all three. Since he knows she’s an actor or writer. A friend of friends. A sweet person just by aura. When the meeting was over, Kristen walked Y/N out as Bill once again grabbed John pulling him over and this time John tried to fight back by grabbing onto Fred who instantly gave in.

“John I swear-“

“Bill you need to stop pulling me over. You’re not a cop and I’m not a speeder”

“You does that one time with me in the car-“

“FRED SHUT UP” John lets go of Fred as he turns around to see Bill freaking out a bit.

“Is this about Y/N?”

“OH THANK GOD” John pushes Bill off of him before forcing Fred in front of him. “Talk to him about it”

As John left, Bill gave Fred one of those looks as he rolls his eyes.

“You can get her coffee and start a conversation Bill. It’s not that hard”

“But it is that hard. It’s been a while since I’ve asked anybody out, let alone flirt. I’m just one big goof ball”

“And you think she...doesn’t like goof balls? And not everybody knows how to flirt Bill. Honestly” Fred laughs walking away as Bill quickly follows beside him not understand what he’s about to do.

“We’ll see you Saturday Y/N” Kristen cheers before leaving as Y/N grabs her bag about to go when Fred tapped her shoulder.

Y/N turns around with a smile. “Sup guys”

“Hey Y/N, would you like to get coffee with Bill and I tomorrow when we discuss a skit?”

“I uh. Don’t drink coffee-“

“Hmm. Well the nearest coffee house probably has tea”

“Well that sounds good to me. Cool if we meet...around 10?”

“Sounds good to us!” Fred smiles as Y/N looks over at a nervous Bill before reassuring with a smile.

“See you tomorrow” Y/N leaves the two as Fred pats Bill’s back.

“Don’t flake. Because I am” Fred smiles patting Bill’s shoulder before leaving him alone to process.

The next day came quickly as Bill didn’t know how to dress besides his usual button down with his sleeves rolled up and jeans. As he got closer to the coffee house he spots Y/N in a deep red flannel and skinny jeans. Jesus. The observation he has.

“Hey Hader”

“Hey Y/N, you look...nice”

“Thanks. So do you”

“Bringing back flannels into fashion?”

“Excuse me? Who said they ever left” Y/N smiles catching a laugh from Bill which made her blush a bit.

“So, Uh shall we?” Bill smiles watching her nod, he got the door for her taking a deep breath as she walks in.

The two stood in front of the counter as Y/N smiles nudging Bill.

“Coffee or tea?”

“Well coffee for me...and tea for you?”

“Yeah, um. I’ll take a green tea and what’ll you have?” Y/N looks at Bill after giving her order to the barista.

“Uh a cappuccino, and I’ll pay”

“Hey no, I got it. You can take care of the next time” Y/N smiles paying for them both as Bill walks over to where they get handed off.

Y/N was about to join him when her phone was blowing up. She waved for Bill’s attention catching it and pointing at her phone to take a call. He smiles to reassure that he knows what she’s doing. As Y/N walks out she immediately took the call and Bill watches her look annoyed for a second before laughing. Someone is making her happy.

“KRISTEN I SWEAR TO GOD”

“What?! I was curious how it’s going!”

“Well—I just bought our drinks”

“Y/N WHY DID YOU PAY!”

“Because I got nervous and said I would”

“Oh my god. You are so dumb” Kristen laughs on the other line looking at Fred across from her as he was texting Bill.

Bill: Someone is making her smile

Fred: And you automatically think it’s her boyfriend or some shit? She’s single

Bill: How do you know??

Fred: Uh

Fred: Sources

Bill: Fred

Fred: What? I don’t reveal my sources

Bill: THEN WHY IS SHE LAUGHING AND SHIT

Fred: I don’t know!

Kristen looks at the texts before laughing making Y/N even more confused which lead to her eventually ending the call.

“Oh shit. She hung up”

“Okay okay hold on” Fred finishes a text to Bill with the ending of you’re on your own and then setting his phone down. “Why are we doing this?”

“Because. I think they look cute together. But they both need a push into the deep end”

“If they panic you know they’ll call us”

“Mm. Bill would call me and Y/N wouldn’t call anybody. How much you want to bet on that?”

“Ten bucks”

“Ah hell no. Fifty”

“That’s an extreme for a blind first date”

“But you have the fifty”

“Fine fine” Fred shakes Kristen’s hand.

Meanwhile...

“So, Fred is obviously not coming” Y/N laughs before taking a sip of her tea.

“Yeah, he also kinda had the paper copy of the skit” Bill says calmly as he held his coffee.

“Uh Huh” Y/N smiles. “Glad he’s not coming...”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Uh Sorry if that sounded weird”

“If we’re being honest, I uh. Kinda wish I just had the guts to ask you out instead of having Fred help me”

“Well...” Y/N smiles as she started blushing over the fact that he said that. “If you...ever want to ask me out, without saying anything. You could just bring me tea. Whenever”

“I’ll keep that noted” Bill smiles.

——

“That was a successful night for SNL, now I’m tired as hell so I’ll catch you all later” John laughs grabbing his bag as Bill looked around for Y/N before stopping John. “Yeah?”

“You seen Y/N?”

“She usually hangs outside after acting. It gets hot in the building Bill” Kristen answers for John as he only agreed.

“It’s also...very cold out” John smiles adding that before leaving.

After getting a few things, Y/N flinches to the sudden noise to the back door opening. She looks over seeing Bill which always brought a smile to her face.

“Hey Hader”

“Hey Y/N”

Y/N moves over so Bill could sit with her, and when he did, he handed her a cup. She laughs a bit opening the lid and taking a sip.

“They only got Irish Breakfast here, sorry if it’s not exactly the green tea of your liking”

“It’s the thought that counts right?”

“Right”

Y/N looks over at Bill before leaning in and kissing his cheek. She smiles watching his face turn red as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“So, can I take you out tomorrow?”

“Yeah, you can”

[fangirl-imagines]

Lazy Mornings//Bill Hader Drabble

A/N: The first day of Bill November! Don’t forget to go check out @starting-now for the first day of Sally November on their blog too! This one is set in Bill’s SNL years but as always he is not married in this story. 

Requested by @sabinaspellman

Outside you could hear the rain beating down against your apartment windows, inside you were in no hurry to move. The rain meant that it was still grey and dark outside at 11 am and for that you were grateful. You had only been in bed a few hours before a clap of thunder woke you up. Sighing softly you buried yourself down further into the pile of blankets on the bed and heard Bill groan beside you. 

“What time is it?” He mumbled, eyes still shut and face still pressed into the top of your hair. 

You glanced over at the alarm clock on your side of the bed. 

“Eleven.” You whispered in the dark. “We should probably get up.” 

Bill groaned, burying his face in your hair, his grip around your waist tightening. Even though you said it you weren’t in any hurry to get up either. It had been a long week and after last night show wrapped the two of you hadn’t fallen into bed until well past four in the morning. It hadn’t been raining when you got home but it looks like the rain had no plans on stopping any time soon either. There was another clap of thunder followed by a heavy sheet of rain beating against the bedroom window. Bill’s arm tightened around you. You couldn’t think of anything worse in that moment than moving from bed. 

Bill sighed, “I can’t go back to sleep.”

“Hmm,” You hummed. “Me neither. But I don’t want to get up.”

He chuckled, voice gravelly and deep with sleep. “We could watch a movie?”

“Please for the love of God not House.” You shot back dryly. 

Bill burst out laughing, chest vibrating under your head, making you grin proudly. 

“Damn it!” He laughed. “How about Monty Python?”

“Now that I can work with.” You shook your head, sitting up so Bill could unwrap himself from you and move to the living room to grab the DVD out of your mixed collection. “Do you want me to order a pizza too?”

Bill turned back and pointed at you, “You read my mind.”

You smiled and shook your head, reaching for the phone. A few minutes later you tossed the phone to the side as Bill wandered back in wearing his rumpled and slept in sweatpants and t-shirt. He spun the DVD case between his fingers, opening it and popping the disk into the player. 

“We’ve got twenty minutes.” You smiled as he threw himself back onto the bed beside you, his arm automatically winding itself around your shoulders. You pressed yourself back against him, pulling the comforter up higher over the both of you. He pressed his lips against the top of your head softly. Sundays were the best day of the week. 

[haderberkman]

I’ll Always Love You

Bill Hader X M Trans Reader

Warnings: Reader is FTM

Requested by: Anonymous

Y/N wasn’t comfortable being his true self around others. He was afraid that his friends and family would hate him for being different. He hadn’t even told his boyfriend Bill that he was FTM. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He had to be real with somebody so he chose to tell Bill.

Bill had invited Y/N over for dinner, and he decided that he was going to tell him tonight. Y/N got dressed in clothes at he felt comfortable in, and he nervously drove to Bill’s house. When he arrived, he took a deep breath before exiting his car. He knocked on Bill’s door, and he answered it a confused look. Bill shook his head and pulled Y/N into a hug.

“I’ve missed you so much, sweetheart.”

“I’ve missed you too, Bill.”

Bill pulled back and placed a quick kiss on Y/N’s lips. He observed Y/N’s outfit a little more, and his confused look returned.

“So, what’s with these clothes?”

“Oh, I just feel comfortable wearing these.”

“Oh okay. Well, dinners ready. Let’s go eat.”

Y/N laughed nervously as he followed Bill to the dining room. They both sat and began eating. They talked about their days and how work was. When they finished eating, Bill suggested that they move to the living room.

They were sitting in the couch, cuddled close to each other, and Y/N’s nerves were eating him alive. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He shifted away from Bill a little, and he looked at him.

“Bill, there’s something important that I need to tell you.”

“Go ahead, babe. I’m all ears.”

Bill turned to face him, and Y/N took a deep breath. He let it out slowly as Bill looked at him intently.

“I-I’m transgender.”

“What?”

“I’m transgender.”

“No, I heard you the first time. Are you...um...you know...uh?”

“I’m FTM. That means I was born a female but I’m transitioning into a male.”

Bill went quiet, and he moved his gaze from Y/N to the floor. Y/N’s nerves began to attack him again, and he shifted towards Bill and placed a hand on his thigh. Bill suddenly stood up in front of the tv, and he stared at Y/N with an upset look.

“Why didn’t you tell me this from the beginning?”

“I-I didn’t know how you would react. You’re the only person I’ve told so far because you mean the most to me. I thought that you deserved the truth.”

“Why are you telling me all this now? You didn’t think that I deserved to know from the beginning?”

“Bill, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It took me years to learn how to love myself for who I am, and this is me. I’m not changing who I am because I’m happy with who I am.”

Bill looked away from Y/N as a million thoughts ran through his mind. Y/N’s legs began to bounce and tears started filling his eyes. Bill look back at Y/N with a serious look on his face.

“I think you should leave.”

“What?”

“You should go. I don’t...it’s just that...I can’t do this with you. Just go.”

“Okay.”

As Y/N spoke, tears began to fall from his eyes. He got up out the couch and walked to Bill’s front door. He turned around and looked at Bill. He gave him a sad smile, and it faded as he spoke.

“You don’t accept me, and you can’t be in a relationship with someone like me because of your reputation right? That’s okay. Before I go, I just want you to know that I’ll always love you. No matter what. Goodbye, Bill.”

Y/N turned back to the door and wiped his tears. He opened the door and walked out of Bill’s house. As soon as the front door shut, Y/N ran to his car as rain began to fall from the night sky. He quickly got in as more tears fell from his eyes. He laid his head down on the steering wheel as he cried. He heard a knock on his window, and he raised his head and saw a soaking wet Bill standing outside his car. He got out of his car, and Bill pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so so so sorry. What I did you was wrong. I shouldn’t have told you to leave like that. I’m sorry for judging you and not letting you explain everything. I do accept you because I love you. It’s just gonna take me some time to adjust.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need because I love you too.”

Bill leaned down a captured Y/N’s lips in a deep kiss. Y/N wrapped his arms around Bill’s neck, and they both jumped and pulled away when they heard a loud drum of thunder. Bill grabbed Y/N’s hand, he lead him back to his porch. Bill looked down at Y/N, and a small smile came to his face.

“Would my boyfriend like to comeback inside and put on some dry clothes and make out with me on the couch?”

“He’d love too.”

Y/N smiled at Bill as he pulled him into another kiss. They pulled away, and Y/N rested his hands on Bill’s cheeks. He really did love Bill, and he was happy that Bill was attempting to adjust to the real Y/N. He knew it took time, and he was willing to give Bill all the time in the world.

[its--ok--to--shine]

Watching It: Chapter 2 a Second Time

It was honestly very enlightening for me and I recommend everyone see it again to see what you pick up. This is mostly about Reddie content ~this is a long ass post~

SPOILERS AHEAD

The Reddie Dynamic:

In the first movie, they really show the affection that the two characters have towards each other by keeping them in close proximity and or they are touching. In all but three scenes of the first movie, Richie and Eddie are near each other. Even when the are looking up at Bowers in that weird hole, Eddie is literally leaning on Richie. At the jump at the quarry they are separated but interacting. I was sad they weren’t so close to one another in the second movie but I think it’s because of their repression of feelings. They jump back to the teasing but getting back to physical part of their relationship takes time. They arm wrestle and then there is no physical touching until they go back into the Neibolt house.

The Lack of Pennywise in the Background:

I loved this part of the first one and scoured the background of every scene desperately trying to see if It was in the background in Chapter 2. Like I’m paintings or other scenes. One person pointed out the painting in Beverly’s house but I didn’t see It in it. I thought that since they were back in Derry, Pennywise would be spying on them. I was like “oh it’s gotta be in the background” when Mike brings Bill to the library, but no. If anyone saw Pennywise in the background please let me know!

The Restraunt Scene:

I listened to the Reddie conversation in the background of the Bill and Bev scene and like low key you can see Richie listening and being supportive but also realistic about how it’s all in Eddie’s head. Richie has never seen him and still never sees him the way Eddie sees himself: weak

The Hammock™️ Scene:

THIS SCENE IS NOT LONG ENOUGH!!! I pray there is more in the director’s cut! Hearing “I fucked your mom” in the background was so good and sweet it made me wonder... is there another time they say that verbatum? Is Eddie saying “I fucked your mom” a call back to this scene??? Thoughts on this anyone??? Richie holding Eddie’s leg still has me 🥰

The Street Fighter Scene:

Was extremely telling the second time around.

Finn knew he was playing a gay character because during the game he completely looks at the other guys lips! It’s a very sweet moment. As another post on tumblr said, Richie was vulnerable and even felt safe with this boy. He thought the feelings were reciprocated. I think they were but Bower’s cousin was too afraid of his own feelings to accept it. Although some say Richie running away and not having a quip was uncharacteristic of him, I think he was stunned, shamed, and torn apart by what unfolded. It was as if someone stabbed him with a knife where it hurt most. He could barely comprehend it and couldn’t even deny it because he is gay and Bowers yelling “faggot” cut so deep. Also chronologically this was after the fight between Bill and Richie in the first movie before Bill goes to the archade to get Richie. In that scene Richie is playing street fighter alone which makes it really sad when you think about how after the f*ggot comment he had to play it alone :(

The Montage during Stanley’s Speech:

Richie putting his hand on Eddie’s back is adorable and Eddie does in fact pull him into the photo booth and they have a cute second together 🥺 I thought so the first time around but I confirmed the second time.

When Eddie said “please don’t be mad, Bill”:

Richie goes to Eddie to check on him before he is attacked by the Stanley spider head not after!!!! They don’t talk about it until the “you’re braver than you think” scene. Also the “don’t be mad, Bill” was way more heartbreaking because I rewatched the first movie and Pennywise says it as Georgie to Bill. In the book Eddie looks up to Bill. They all do since he’s the leader but idk that got me the second time around.

The doors scene:

It was Betty ripsom again!! Because she says, “where’s my shoe?” In the first movie we see her top half and then that scene we see her bottom. The closet though and her being from the waist down is again a call back to the AIDS comment Eddie makes in the first movie and both of their internalized homophobia is brought to the fore front here. Also after they slam the door Eddie yells “you told me to trust you!!!!” It’s faint but hilarious.Also Richie touching Eddies arm had me smiling like an idiot 😌

The possible kiss scene:

Although many believe the possible kiss scene is when Eddie saves Richie from the deadlights I fully believe it’s way after that. Eddie gets stabbed, rolls down that cave part, they discuss how to defeat it, Bill helps Richie movie Eddie while Ben mike and bev are being chased by it. Then Eddie says “I fucked your mom” then they go back to the other losers. It stays with that scene for a long time. Which is uncharacteristic of the whole sequence before this part. They jump back and forth between bill, Ben and Bev, and Richie and Eddie. It reminded me of the long scene in Neibolt in the first. Where we never cut to outside and come to find out later they deleted a cute scene with Beverly/Ben and Mike/Stan. When they return to Richie after the losers are beating Pennywise up, he leaves Eddie so suddenly and then rips off Pennywise’s fucking arm. The scene is right before that. They kiss and then Eddie dies clutching on to richies jacket. Richie then leaves. Which then leads to my next point-

Eddie did not die alone:

When Richie is fuming and leaves Eddie he looks like he passed away. He is clutching Richies jacket. I am hoping this is touched on in the directors cut bc although it has a dramatic effect, I hate HATE the idea that he died alone. I just don’t see how that motivates the story at all.

THAT SCENE:

I didn’t notice anything different in that scene. I just felt heartbroken once again and astounded by Bill Hader’s acting.

Other weird things I noticed the second time around:

• When It is the Paul Bunyan statue before he attacks Richie he says “Want a kiss, Richie?” Which I found both funny and fucked up.

•they cut to Richie yelling you’re a clown and I died because eddies hand is over richies!!?????

Like ya they are keeping the jacket in place but 🥺🥺🥺🥺

•all the blood goes up. Why is that? Is it because everything floats? I don’t know why but like If anyone knows lemme know

•the fact that they left Eddie there still does a number on me. I hate it

•the place where R+E is carved on the kissing bridge is shown in the first movie but the spot is blank. I think that was purposeful to not only show the Bridge but give us a timeline and like show us where it was going to be if that makes sense???

•although not at all compliant to the book, I still think Eddie should have lived and during the voiceover when Stanley says “be proud” it should have been both of them at the bridge or getting off the plan in LA together.

•the director’s attention to detail is astounding. All the things he did were INTENTIONAL!! Don’t let anyone deny it. He told James to do the little hand gesture. So the minute details we see and catch are purposeful and justify the true love that Richie and Eddie have.

Anything I missed? Thoughts? Lemme know and thanks for reading 🎈❤️

[twinkiemaximoff]

Okay so here's the thing for the ahs shipping :)

//

My name is Jessica, I'm 19, 20 on the 29th, bisexual, a cancer, and an ISFP.

I'm a massive geek, in love with musicals and horror films, the youngest in my family, and I'm really short. 5"1 I think?

I'm depressed with anxiety but I try getting out. I love listening to music, musicals specifically, country, pop, electronic, rap sometimes, and olden day music like the 60's-90s. I love supernatural, teen wolf, buffy the vampire slayer, black mirror, all american, brooklyn 99, glee, parks and rec. I love musical movies, knives out, the bill and Ted films, marvel, lotr, Harry Potter, horror (as well as slashers) of course, and comedies.

I love wearing hats, vests, jackets, and fandom related clothes. I have a cat called kacy and my mum and I have a kitten called dash. I also love karaoke, collecting flowers, dancing, singing, my fave actor is bill hader and my fave actress is lily rabe. I collect stuff too, like pop vinyls, pins, etc, and I love playing video- games and doing quizzes.

I eat lemons (I'm weird) and I have a dancing cactus called Bob, and a plush pumbaa I got when I was 6.

Plus I like cosplaying, am really nostalgic

Sorry if this is a lot :(

I feel terrible for writing this much.

don't feel bad about writing so much!! more info helps me out a lot, really. but,,

I ship you with,, Misty Day!!

Misty (obviously) loves music, especially 70s music and would love to have karaoke nights with you. There probably isn't a time where you DON'T have music playing. She also loves dancing with you too it, bodies swaying to the beat together, sharing a few stolen kisses.

Misty is also a big lover of nature and animals, when she first sees your cats she instantly starts cooing over them.

She loves walking around outside with you too, admiring nature and getting out of the house. she'll 100% make flower crowns out of any flowers you pick along the way, adores it if you lay your head in her lap while she works on it for you.

[a19yearoldtryinherbest]

McLovin. Pt1 [Officer Slater]

Masterlist

Part 2 - Part 3

Prompt: Fogell comes home wasted with two cops, and her sister doesn’t know what the hell is going on. 

Warning: Swearing, use of drugs and alcohol, mild sexual content.

A/N: Apparently I’m thirsting over every character Bill Hader has ever played, but i’m not complaining. So there is one or two Officer Slater fic/headcanon/imagines around (gee, I wonder why) so I thought to fill in the void. This probably won’t get many notes but I had to, also there might be a second part after this one, not sure yet.

Word count: 1754

•  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •  •

Fogell was a loser but every Friday night he would hang out with his idiotic friend Seth and the dorky Evan so Amy wasn’t worried when she didn’t found him around for her monthly visit from college. She was scared, however, when she saw him walk towards the hose, completely shitfaced, accompanied by two officers at seven in the morning. She put her shirt back on and ran outside, hoping her mother wouldn’t wake up from the noise and saw his brother completely wasted. 

She was still a little drunk and a little high, she had just came from a night at the bar with some old high school friends that were in town and she hadn’t had time to sober up, so she didn’t really thought of anything else but to go downstairs open the front door and go to her brother.

— You little shit, what the fuck happened to you? — she said, almost forgetting about the cops.

— Nothing much, sista’.

— Fuck, McLovin, is she gonna rat us out? — the redheaded oficer said, standing still with his hands on his hips.

— Who the fuck is McLovin? — she asked, completely confused.

— I am. — her brother said and then turned to officer — She’s cool, Michaels.

Both officers mumbled an alright under their breaths as Amy kept looking for someone to explain what was happening, why were these two drunk cops with his drunk, underage brother at her parent’s house at seven in the morning. She knew it wasn’t the drugs or the alcohol but nobody explained anything to her as they just walked into the house bags on their arms clicking to one another as their went down to the basement, of course she came with.

— Slater, don’t you have to go to your wife? — her brother said as they laid into the futons, grabbing a few hard drinks from the bag.

— What, no, kid. That was to mess with you. — Slater said, opening up the tequila and taking a swing at it.

Forgell chuckled as he put a movie in the DVD player — I knew your ex wasn’t a hooker.

— No, that part was true. — he responded, a somewhat serious face as he winced from the alcohol going down his throat.

They remained quiet for a few seconds, waiting for the movie to begin but that didn’t happened. Amy grabbed the remote from his brother’s hand, stood in front of the TV and pressed pause — Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on? — she asked, annoyed and confused.

Slater took a good look at her, starting with her soft, bare legs, going up her short black skirt, taking a good look at her ass and her slim waist. He smirked a little as he looked at her boobs before looking at her face. She was really pretty, even with her make up smudged and her eyes red. Wait. Her eyes were red — What the hell are two drunk cops doing in my basement at seven AM?

— Seven? Nice, we’re off duty. — said Michaels, taking his batch off and throwing it away.

Slater stood up and walked a bit towards Amy, he didn’t took off his batch, he knew some girls where hot for the uniform so he accommodated his belt as he let his right hand hang there as he explained — Well, we found McLovin trying to buy alcohol with a fake ID so we took him under our wing and took him on a ride. — he looked at her, the whole time, more specifically, her eyes. Trying to see if those were high red or tired red.

— Then why is he drunk? — she asked, putting her hands on her hips and copying his stance.

— Why are you high? — he asked and she immediately dropped her hands, worried look on her face.

— Ohh! Someone’s in trouble! — Michaels chanted, teasing her as she was clearly nervous. She fidgeted on the spot, trying to find an answer, forgetting the bizarre situation and seeing only the cop who knew she was high.

Officer Slater broke down in laughter, as she stared at him confused — I’m just messing with you. — he said, making her relax and start laughing, his laughter was pretty contagious. As they both stopped, he said — We went drinking and busted a party, that’s were the drinks are from. — he omitted the part were they committed several crimes, McLoving got kind of laid, they falsified a police report, burned down their parole car and let the under aged boy shot a handgun at it.

— Glad we got all of that out of the way. Can we watch the movie now? — asked Michaels. Amy put play on and moved from in front of the TV, bumping Slater on the way.

As the movie began she was wondering if she should go or stay, but before she could make a choice he turned and asked — Do you have any left? — she looked at him, a bit dazed, and nodded when she understood what he was talking about — Would you share it? — she must have been hallucinating, there was no way that this -very cute looking- cop was asking her, after bringing his drunk little brother home, if they could smoke some weed together.

— I only got a bit less than a quarter…

— Don’t worry. It would be just the two of us. — he smirked.

She didn’t even know what to do with herself. She nodded and guided him to her bedroom. Fogell paid no mind to his sister walking upstairs with the older officer, too entertained with the movie and the way the alcohol made him feel. Michael did, he just smirked and looked over his shoulder to see Slater give him a very excited thumbs up.

— Nice bedroom, very… standardized. — he said, looking at the dark green and white decor. There was nothing that claimed this bedroom as her own except for some old literature books, some make up and the clothes that was on the small handbag on the floor.

— It’s the guests room. It used to be my bedroom but I don’t live here now, I’m just visiting from college. — she explained, still looking for her stash.

She found it, grabbed the bottle of water from her desk as he opened the window and both left to the roof, insisting her parents would wake up at the smell, otherwise.

She lit it and held her breath as she passed it to him, her mind was still assessing the situation. She had came back from a night out to see his brother come home, wasted with two cute and drunk cops, one of which was in the basement, watching a movie with his little brother, and the other was with her, on the roof, smoking weed. She drank some water at the second she flat her throat itching a little.

— So what do you study? — he asked, passing the joint back to her, trying not to blow out the smoke from his lungs yet. She inhale and when he started coughing she passed him the water.

— I’m doing a English major. — She said before exhaling the smoke and drinking some more water — Not really sure why.

They stayed quiet as they kept smoking, Slater offering her the last bit. She smoked it and turn it completely off with some saliva in her finger and pressing the tip.

— You’re really hot. — he said, watching her throw the remains of the joint into the house’s front yard.

— You’re more cute than hot, — she looked at him, a smile on her face as she saw the way his doofy eyes looked at her — but you’re hot too.

He smiled and came closer to her, closing in the distance between their lips, kissing her softly as he caressed the left side of her face. She immediately kissed him back. Her senses were quite off, so were his, but they both could agree that it felt nice, the kiss was a bit sloppy and slow, like if they were both savoring the moment.

They both started to lay back into the roof and Amy took the chance to sit on top of him, one leg on each side of his hip, softly grinding against him ever so often just to tease him a little. But she found it very enticing since every time she’d do it he would get a bit more hard. She smiled into the kiss as she felt his bulge harden more when she slid her hand towards his crotch, caressing him above his pants.

As they were getting more and more worked up and he slid a hand between her legs, caressing her on top of her underwear, she remembered where they were — Wait. — she whispered.

— Why? — he asked, his voice a bit hoarse as he stopped massaging her clit, however he didn’t move his hands away from her.

— We’re on the roof. — she laughed, moving away from him — Let’s go inside. — she said, taking the water bottle and the lighter before stepping inside. She helped him in, but he tripped and they both fell to the ground, laughing their asses off before the enticing levity of their position took them to start kissing again — Let’s get in the bed. — she whispered in his ear, sounding soft yet husky. He nodded almost fanatically, his mind was racing fast and was all over the place, even with the alcohol and drugs on it.

They laid on the bed, bedsheets pulled over them as they explored eachother’s body. He took her shirt off and kissed her cleavage and the top of her breast, he was gonna keep going until

— WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? — they both froze in their spot, luckily the yelling came from downstairs.

— Shit! —Slater looked at Amy with a puzzled look on his face as she looked for her shirt and put it on. She looked at him since he wasn’t moving — Get up! That’s my dad. — she said and took his hand to help him stand up.

How the hell was she gonna get them out of this one?

[blessyouhawkeye]

BILL HADER I AM OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

what are your thoughts on the skeleton twins

Hi! I finished watching it last night but desperately needed sleep after because I knew I had things to do this morning, and I also wanted to process it (sometimes I have to take some time to process movies, other times I just word vomit about them).

This is kind of long but I’ll add a read more later when I have the chance!

Anyway; The Skeleton Twins...I really enjoyed it! I went in knowing absolutely nothing except that Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig were in it and playing twins, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I think, given the two actors I mentioned, I was expecting pure comedy or something? But I was so blown away by the film and the performances they gave.

Obviously I love both Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig anyway but this movie really showed their serious acting chops. There were some funny moments too, of course, but they’re both really talented doing genres outside of comedy too, and it sometimes takes me aback when I see comedians do such a good job with non-comedic roles - then again, comedy is probably the hardest genre to pull off, and so it’s no wonder they’re both talented anyway. (I’m rambling, sorry!)

{below here I’m talking about themes related to mental health/suicide, and I can’t put a read more at the moment because I’m currently on my mobile - I will be putting a read more here when I get the chance later!}

I was so taken aback though because the film starts with Milo attempting to commit suicide and Maggie contemplating it, and I guess...it’s something I have struggled with, and so it really made my heart drop especially when I saw Milo in the bathtub and the water turn red. It doesn’t show him actually cutting but we all know what happened. Without going into too much detail, SH and mental illness is something I really struggle with, even though I’m slowly recovering these days - it never truly goes away though, you know it’s there even if you’ve gotten better and it’s something you learn to cope and deal with.

Honestly, I was sort of pleasantly surprised by how well the film portrayed mental illness and suicide with both the main characters. I felt at times I should have hated Maggie for cheating and lying to her husband but I also sort of empathized with her (not with the cheating, just the whole situation and being in a huge mess), and I think what made the film was the relationship between the two siblings because it’s so real and natural, especially if you consider the circumstances when they were younger. Their interactions as siblings was so believeable too, like sometimes you’ll watch movies with siblings and the siblings are all mushy or too at each other’s throats, and it’s unrealistic. They both feel so relatable and easy to connect to, though I suppose I am kind of more biased towards Bill’s character because he’s the reason I watched it (after seeing the clip of him dancing online - that was literally the only part I had seen before).

This is kind of dumb, but as I said, I thought they did a great job portraying depression and the aftermath of the suicide attempts? Like when Maggie was drowning herself and then panicked and tried to swim back up but couldn’t - I’ve heard stories of people who have survived jumping off of bridges or whatever, and they’ve said that after making that jump they instantly regretted it. I think that’s so accurate - it’s not glamourizing suicide either, like it would have been so easy to have her sink peacefully and be rescued without her wanting it and then realize what she’s doing but instead they showed the panic, the regret.

I think what especially caught my eye, however, was the fact that Milo was wearing bracelets on his wrists later in the film to hide his scars and like...? That is so relatable, that is something I do during the summer if it’s been one of those instances, I wear bracelets and wristbands and sometimes even tie a bandana around my wrist to hide it.

I don’t know if that’s just something I do/have done and I’m projecting, or if it’s because actual research/thought was put into it, but either way it was something that really stood out to me and made him more relatable?

I can’t remember the name of Milo’s ex teacher but he can get fucked for all I care. He took advantage and manipulated a teenage boy and I think that’s important to remember. It would be easy to just freak out because omg cute gay couple but to me I just saw it as a one-sided unhealthy relationship where one is manipulative and abusive to the other who feels like they need their love, and it’s kind of depressing - but then Milo basically says “fuck that” by the end, and it’s beautiful because it’s like he’s deciding “you know what, I deserve to be treated better” - and he does, he really does. Beforehand it felt (to me) like he allowed himself to be used and mistreated because he felt like that was the only way he could feel worthy, but then he grows and develops and I think that’s so important.

I think I should also briefly mention that the scene where Maggie tells Milo “maybe next time you should cut deeper” genuinely broke my heart for many reasons - because she’s so upset and her marriage is ruined and everything is a mess, so much so that she actually says that to him before immediately regretting it. And ofc I was so upset because that’s literally something your brain tells you when you’re depressed and suicidal/self harm, that maybe next time...yeah. You can see the flurry of emotions on his face as he processes what she said, like he’s in genuine disbelief that she - his own sister, his twin - said such a cruel and disgusting thing to him like that. It genuinely broke my heart to see, though I was glad they did eventually mend things between them.

Some other things I want to mention but don’t have the brain capacity to talk about properly because I’m exhausted and a dumbass:

The Marley and Me joke was so relatable omg, I read the more child friendly version when I was little but I had no idea the dog died and it broke my damn heart, so that little joke about Marley and Me was hilarious to me

Honestly I’m talking a lot about Bill Hader but I do truly adore Kristen Wiig too, like she’s probably one of the most diverse actresses who does all sorts of genres and projects - from voice acting to drama to SNL etc - and she’s incredible in this film.

Lance was a sweetheart and I feel sorry for him? Like he genuinely loved Maggie and was such a nice guy, and while some of the stuff he said wasn’t always helpful or correct, it came from a place of caring and that’s what matters. Also he was totally cool with his brother in law who he never met before coming and living in his house, and he even helped Milo get some work (even if said work WAS clearing brush away)

The scene where the twins go out and Bill Hader is dressed in drag is honestly a highlight of this movie

Actually the scene where he sees himself the first time in drag is also a highlight

The scene where the mother is making a long ass toast while everyone is waiting to drink their wine, and Maggie/Kristen Wiig just downs her glass before she’s finished is so relatable

Okay but there’s a scene where Milo goes to a gay bar looking for a lay and just...the night he goes, of course it’s fuckin “Dyke Night” (their words, not mine!) and then he comes home absolutely pissed and telling his sister and his brother in law that he just wanted “some c*ck”, omg I was laughing way too hard. Also let’s not forget that he said the two “lesbian ladies” he met were lovely and taught him to play darts, we love mlm and wlw solidarity!!

Well since we’ve already established I’m fucking trash for Bill Hader, let’s just include that moment where his character is shirtless (kinda) in bed

That scene where Maggie meets up with some woman she knew (in high school I think?) and that woman has a son, and the son is a little dick and the mom and the son are cussing at each other was a whole new level of hilarious I didn’t expect, like I was deadass expecting this chick to go on about how wonderful it is to be a mother even when he’s a dick to her, how it’s a great gift, but nope, she knows and even says he’s a fucking dick 😂

THE DENTIST OFFICE SCENE JESUS CHRIST I HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE I WAS GENUINELY PISSING MYSELF WITH LAUGHTER?!

THAT DANCE SCENE AM I RIGHT, OMG, like he’s so cute and happy in that scene and then she joins in and it’s so dorky and fun??

I LOVE all the water imagery and shit, like maybe it’s just because I’m an absolute geek for swimming (it’s one of maybe three sports I don’t totally suck at??) and I love the cinematography underwater, whether it’s the skeleton key ring sinking or the scuba diving or Milo’s goldfish. So much wonderful cinematography and imagery!

This film has ultimately shown me that Wiig and Hader deserve Oscars and awards ASAP

Also this is just a general note to anyone reading, feel free to recommend movies to me anytime because I’m a cinephile and love getting to watch new films!

[grysnwtt]

bill   hader   /   male   —   ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ   ᴛᴏ   ʜᴀɪʟ,   grayson   wyatt.           i   am   sure   he   is   eager   to   return   to   their   home   in   paradise  park.                      the   40   year   old   music   store   owner   will   be   certain   to   shake   things   up.   

the  wyatt  family  wasn’t  originally  from  hail.  grayson’s  grandmother  settled  into  hail  six  months  pregnant  with  grayson’s  mother  with  no  father  in  sight  for  her – which  for  the  fifties  was  a  big  no-no  as  a  seemingly  single  twenty-three  year  old  woman.  back  then  her  baby  would’ve  been  considered  a  bastard  (  even  if  it  was a  girl  ).  it  was  rumored  that  agnes  wyatt  had  been  kicked  out  of  her  family.  disowned.  but  then  how  did  she  have  money  that  could  put  her  in  the  league  with  the  big  boys  in  hail?  everyone,  including  grayson,  has  wondered  but  no  one’s  ever  learned  what  she  did  to  get  the  money  that  had  built  the  wyatt  mansion  before  it  burned  to  the  ground;  or  even  put  him  through  med  school.  yeah  that’s  right.  ya  boy  went  to  med  school.

  he  even  finished  and  became  a  doctor.  what  happened?  the  fire  happened.  he  tried  to  help  the  injured  as  best  as  he  could  and  by  the  time  the  last  building  of  hail  had  fallen  he  had  realized  that  he  didn’t  want  to  be  a doctor  as  much  as  he  thought  he  had  which  meant  fifteen  years  of  his  life  wasted.

  he’s  a  prime  example  of  a  midlife  crisis  at  the  moment. trading  a  sure  career  for  a  lesser  well  off  career  of  opening  a  music  store  in  town  instead.

  whatever  didn’t  burn  aka  the  money  stored  in  a  bank  (  and  a  few  unknown  objects  )  outside  of  town  had  went  to  grayson  so  he  could live in  hail  or  some  better  off  place  but  he  lives  in  paradise  park,  something  totally  opposite  of  the  way  he  lived  before  and  the  reason  is …   he’s  not  so  reclusive  as  his  grandmother  was,  as  his  mother  had  become.  that  and  he’s  not  letting  money  influence  him  as  much.  you  won’t  catch  him  wearing  penny  loafers  to  anything  but  his  own  funeral.

   grayson  did  try  to  search  his  genealogy  once  but  met  a  dead  end. agnes  wyatt  hadn’t  existed  until  she  settled  into  the  town.  he  naively  thinks  she  just  created  a  new  life;  not  that  she  could’ve  been  running  from  something.

people he lost:

   he  lost  his  grandmother,  agnes,  in  the fire.  she  was  one  of  those  old  ladies  who  wanted  to  die  in  the  house  they  built.  he  pretty  much  hates  himself  for  pretty  much  not  getting  her  out  of  the  fire,  INSTEAD  choosing  to  work.

   steve.  oh,  steve!  he  lost  his  orange  tabby  cat  too.

   work  wise?  he  lost  more  than  he  was  able  to  save  which  probably  attributed  to  his  decision  to  quit  being  a  doctor.  he  remembers  their  names.  each  and  every  single  one  of  them.  often  enough  he  has  nightmares  about them.

connections?

   grayson  had  a  girlfriend  once.  they  were  both  from  hail  but  after  he  went  off  to  medical  school  they  lost  touch.  sure  they  loved  each  other  but  the  distance  was  just  too  much.  when  he  moved  back  to  hail  he  heard  she  had  a  kid  but  he  didn’t  really  piece  it  together  that  it’s  HIS  KID.

   anyone  over  the  age  of  thirty  probably  knows  him  whether  they  went  to  school  with  him  or  had  been  a  patient  before  he  quit  the  practice.

   people  he  chats  with  on  a  daily  basis  (  it’s  more  like  ranting  about  who  is  a better  artist  /  has  a  better  album  ).

   neighbors

   drinking buddies

   ???

steve’s  music  store

you  a  music  lover?  steve’s  got  something  for  you.  you  dabble?  steve’s  got  the  hook  up  for  your  musical  needs.  don’t  ask  for  steve  though  –  check  out  his  memorial  at  the  back  of  the  store  and  learn  that  steve  is,  er  was,  a  cat  that  belonged  to  grayson.

steve’s  offers  a  fine  selection  of  musical  instruments,  cds,  vinyl,  band  tshirts,  posters,  you  name  it.  if  you  need  it,  he’s  got  it  and  if  he  doesn’t,  he  will.

owner:  grayson  wyatt  /  other:  no  one  because  grayson’s  too  lazy  to  ask  for  help.

[newagesispage]

                                                          FEBRUARY           2019

 PAGE  RIB

***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??

***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.

***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples .  Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.

***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!

***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??

***** Julian Castro is running for President.

***** Kamala Harris is running for President.

***** Cory Booker is running for President.

***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.

***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.

***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’

***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?

***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.

***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!

***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.

***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.

***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert.  It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.

***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.

***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.

***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.

***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!

***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.

***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.

***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.

***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.

***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?

***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols

***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??

***** Dupont is laying off workers.

***** Check out love your brain.com.

***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book.  The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product.  Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.

***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.

***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.

***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design.  Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.

***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.

***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??

***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.

***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.

***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.

***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.

***** What is happening to the butterflies?

***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??

***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.

*****  NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.

***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.

***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!

***** Happy Valentine’s Day!

***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.

***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.

***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.

***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.

***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.

***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!

***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.

***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’  She could well be President so fight girl!!

***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.

***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built.  They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that??  It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?

***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion

***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.

***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??

***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!!  He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher

***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.

***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.

***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck.  The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.

***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.

***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.

***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.

***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’

***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.

***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??

***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good?  We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic.  Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!

***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.

***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.

***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.

***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr

*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.