#bilhwon

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But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Read on AO3

Fandom: Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Pairing: firstprince (Alex x Henry)

Complete, Chapters: 14, Rating: E, Words: 77k+

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I feel so honored that someone liked something I wrote enough to want to create something for it like this. 😭 Thank you! ❤️

Moodboard for one of my absolute favourite fics ‘But I love him, whether or no.’ With Alex as a fire fighter!

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So, a crazy thing has happened—a fic I wrote has reached over 4,000 kudos. My mind cannot truly wrap around this fact.

I’ve always been a proponent of writing first and foremost for yourself, and that mentality is something I would absolutely recommend to anyone else writing, but I’ve got to say, this does feel nice. Especially to see it after having just spent three straight days sick in bed.

This fandom has been so rewarding as both a writer and a reader and I’m so glad to have found it. Thank you to everyone who has ever clicked on one of my fics and given them a read. ❤️

[leaves-of-laurelin]

But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Chapter 6: the smell of hospitals in winter

Previous chapters:

Chapter 1: Auntie Pezza’s

Chapter 2: dead dad sympathy card

Chapter 3: ride the pole

Chapter 4: befuddled by a soup

Chapter 5: slag era

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ok so firefighter fic: I love the scene where Alex accosts Henry in his office after being ghosted ahdhakshs a SATISFYING turning point in the fic (it was my, like, 4am when I read it. and I had to throw my phone across the room to sleep after that chapter). And the BLUE that Alex sees before he falls. You were so insane (complimentary) for that.

And binary light...oh man...

"The implication that’s left unsaid is that Henry always knew this conversation would happen eventually, that while Alex had been imagining a future Henry had always been planning an end."

INSANE????????????? PAINFUL!!!!!!!!

and also

“He doesn’t want me.” Alex shakes his head, his hand nearly crumpling the plastic cup in his hand. “Why doesn’t anybody ever want to keep me?"

Literally just slap me across the face instead and it would hurt less.

but also the entirety of the binary light sequel. no notes. The way you gave us henry pov for binary light scenes...my head was rolling.

Thank you! That all means so much 😊 And yeah when I wrote the “why doesn’t anybody ever want to keep me” line I had to pause because I accidentally hurt myself 😩 haha

[leaves-of-laurelin]

But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Chapter 1 - Auntie Pezza’s

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Casey just posted the line “but I love him, whether or no,” in their most recent insta post, and you bet I thought of your fic!! It’s all come full circle!

I saw! I was swiping through the post and when that popped up and I had a half-second out of body experience haha.

Below are screenshots for those that didn’t see. When I first read Red, White & Royal Blue the lines ‘I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose.’ instantly reminded me of this moment from Lord of the Rings, so much so that I wondered if Casey had taken some inspiration from it. They don’t actually confirm that here, but the fact that they single out these lines as being ‘the most romantic passage I’ve ever read’ has me counting it as a win.

Also Casey calling out Legolas and Gimli for being bitchy had me giggling lol.

Anyway, if you’re looking for a firstprince fic that uses samfrodo and a parallel, check out But I love him, whether or no. ❤️

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I am currently reading but I love him and I am thoroughly enjoying myself. But I do have a question why are cab, pork and bacon insults for cops? English is not my native language so I am not familiar with this and the Google search was unfortunately not conclusive. Thanks in advance.

Hi! So glad that you’re enjoying But I love him, whether or no.

For context for anyone reading this who hasn’t read the fic: Alex is a firefighter and he just got finished playing a charity firefighter vs police lacrosse game and then this happens:

Ok, now for the explanation:

Pork and bacon: These are both meat that comes from pigs and calling cops “pigs” is a common insult over here.

Cab: “ACAB” is a commonly used acronym which stands for “All Cops Are Bastards”. When people say ACAB they sometimes sound it out (“a cab”) instead of saying each individual letter, so that’s the wordplay that Alex is doing there.

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But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Chapter 12: blue

[leaves-of-laurelin]

But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Chapter 10: promises, promises

[leaves-of-laurelin]

But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Chapter 13: My Dear Sam…

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Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you to @cha-melodius and @inexplicablymine for the tag! Below is a snippet for the next—and final before the epilogue—chapter of my firefighter au (But I love him whether or no).

“Don’t,” Alex shoots back through gritted teeth. “Don’t even fucking try that because you were always vague about it, you always left the door open. Just—, absolutely refused to put any real roots down here, like you wanted to keep one foot out of the country at all times. Do you know how fucking scary it is to fall in love with someone when they’re like that?”

“I had to be that way!” Henry whisper-shouts, clearly trying to keep his volume down despite how unjustly angry he’s acting. “I had to keep the door open because I knew as soon as things were over between us that I would have to leave. That I wouldn’t be able to bear being in this city for a single moment longer.”

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WIP Wednesday

Thank you @cha-melodius for the tag. Below is a snippet from the next chapter of my firefighter au (But I love him, whether or no) which should be posted within the next few days.

“Fuck,” Henry curses as he runs a palm up the front of of Alex’s uniform, fingers tracing over the place where his hyphenated last name is embroidered onto the fabric. “Is everyone definitely upstairs sleeping?”

“Last I checked.”

Something playful curls into Henry’s expression. “This place doesn’t have a basement, does it?” he asks, and Alex smiles into the next kiss, thinking about that day over two months ago when he pinned Henry up against the desk in the bar’s office and got his mouth on him for the very first time. His hips roll forward again, moving of their own volition, and Henry’s head tips back with a moan.

“No basement,” Alex confirms as he strokes his thumb along the line of Henry’s jaw. “But there is a bathroom on this level. With a lock.”

Henry is moving then, standing and sending Alex staggering back as he gets his footing under him, and even if this is a terrible idea there’s no stopping either of them now. Grasping Henry tight by the hand, Alex hurries them out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom, but then Henry pulls up short right as they’re about to enter.

“Can you, um, can you wear your jacket?” he asks in a hushed voice as he points over his shoulder to where their gear is all lined up.

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Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you to @cha-melodius for the tag! Below is a small snippet from the next chapter of But I love him, whether or no. Don’t actually count the number of sentences though, because it’s slightly more than seven lol.

“You know, I had a Legolas poster in my room back in middle school,” Alex announces as he strides back into the living room with the bowl of popcorn and two beer bottles. “Was always obsessed with his hair, those little braids he has at his temples. Sometimes I would trace my fingers over them on the poster and wonder what they’d feel like in real life.”

Henry levels a stare at him as he takes one of the beers. “Alex, how—,”

“How did I ever think I was straight?” he laughs. “Yeah, exactly, that’s my point.”

“Was always more one for Aragorn myself.”

Alex’s smile goes wide as he sits down. “So I liked the pretty blond and you liked the scruffy brunette?”

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WIP Wednesday

Thank you to @cha-melodius for the tag! Below is a snippet from the next chapter of But I love him, whether or no.

Henry opens the wine and pours them each a glass as Alex continues to cook, music drifting in from from the record player out in the living room. A tiny Manhattan apartment kitchen isn’t the most suitable location for crafting an elegant meal—and the tight quarters result in some wandering hands that seem intent on distracting him—but Alex makes it work, even if it means occasionally having to whack at Henry with a kitchen towel. 

Henry keeps asking if he can help, but Alex knows his limitations so he gives Henry small tasks that can’t be messed up, like fetching items from the refrigerator or from a cabinet. Henry responds to each order with a crisp ‘yes, chef’ or ‘right away, chef’ like they’re on an episode of The Bear. 

“Does this make me your sous?” he asks as he hands Alex the lemon zester.  

Alex gives him a side-eye. “The most complicated thing you’re able to make on your own is toast. So, no, I don’t think you’re qualified.” 

“Maybe I can learn a bit from you.”

“You teach me how to properly fellatio, I teach you how to properly cook a fillet,” Alex deadpans as he applies the chopped pistachio mixture onto the salmon. “What an arrangement.” 

Henry laughs, his smile going wide. “Precisely.” 

[leaves-of-laurelin]

But I love him, whether or no.

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

Chapter 8: Lord Henry, Destroyer of Closets