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froggibus · 2 years ago

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“Why are you crying” - Obey Me

Includes: Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel & Belphie

Genre: angst -> fluff + hurt/comfort

Summary: their reaction to catching you crying

CW: crying, lots of emotions, levi being a trog, hurt/comfort, cursing, panic attacks if you squint?? cuddling

omg hi hi i am so tired + ive been going through it this week but here is something for now. working on some more fics, lots of angst coming soon + maybe new fandoms lol

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Lucifer:

he texts you saying you need to come to his study to talk

you ask if you can have a few minutes

you feel really out of sorts and want to gather your bearings before going in

he says it’s urgent and makes you come in right now

you go in immediately on the verge of tears and sit down with him

he has a bit of a tone cause it’s been a rough day but all he wants to know is how your school is going

it comes out of nowhere and you instantly start crying

thinks he’s done something wrong

“are you—did you get upset over something I said?”

when you shake your head no he’s at a complete loss

is this a human thing??

walks over to you and kneels down between your legs, places his warm hands on your knees

wipes your tears away and rubs his thumb across your cheeks

tries to calm you enough so that you can talk about what’s bothering you

even when you’re crying so hard you can barely breathe he manages to stay calm

after a while when you’re calm enough he’ll bring you water and a snack

and will coax you into talking to him about why you’re so upset

Mammon:

since you’re his responsibility he always HAS to know where you are at all times

not at all because he cares about you or anything

so when you lock yourself in the bathroom and yell at him to fuck off through tears he’s stunned

and annoyed

sits on the other side of the bathroom door and waits for you to calm down some

after a few minutes he asks if you’re okay

that’s when you really break down

he listens to you cry through the door and wishes he could do something to help you

he gently coaxes you into letting him in

sits with you and holds your hand

tried talking you down but you’re crying way too hard for that

for some reason carries you to the bathtub and sits with you between his legs???

it’s weirdly comforting and the heat/pressure of his body makes you feel way better

reminds you that everything is going to be okay and you guys are gonna work this out

when you’re finally calm you realize how weird the situation is

“wait did you put me in the bathtub”

“it works for Levi”

Levi:

you’re home early from school thinking no one is home

but Levi is doing schoolwork from home today

it’s been a really tough day so you lay down on the couch for a while and cry

Levi takes his headphones off to give his ears a break and go get food when he hears someone else is home

his first thought is that it’s Lucifer and he’s in trouble

until he sees you sobbing on the couch

he’s not really sure what to do

so he ignores you and goes to get a snack

but then he feels guilty about ignoring you so he comes back

sits on one of the chairs and fumbles with his hands while he figures out what to do

“y/n”

you didn’t even notice he was in the room

you try to hide the fact that you were crying but it doesn’t work that well

Levi isn’t gonna call you out tho he’s much too awkward for that

asks if you want to come play games with him to take your mind off of things

you take him up on his offer and play games

tries to be supportive and let you know you can come to him if you need it

mostly comes out a jumbled stuttered mess but it’s the thought that counts

doesn’t think to give you a hug until you wrap your arms around him

he just awkwardly accepts and pats you on the back

Satan:

hears you late at night when he’s trying to read

doesn’t realize WHAT the noise is, just where it’s coming from

so when he throws open the door and asks you to be quiet only to see your red, tear stained face, he feels like the biggest asshole in the world

apologizes for being so harsh

tries to get you to talk to him but you keep insisting you’re fine and you promise you’ll be quieter

“shhh y/n i don’t care about that now—what’s wrong?”

gets frustrated when you can’t/don’t tell him

you feel it too so you’re hesitant to let him touch you

but when he gives you a hug you melt into his arms

kisses your forehead and talks you down

offers to stay with you until you feel better/can fall asleep

you keep saying it’s okay and he can leave but obviously he doesn’t believe you

cause he’s a great detective

let’s you take what you need from him

but you WILL be having a length discussion about your feelings and your emotional responses when you feel better

it will be painful

Asmo:

catches you after you cried

knows instantly because of the red eyes and the puffy lips

pulls you aside and asks how you’re doing/if you’re okay

him asking just makes you cry again

he knows what to do though

grabs a cold cloth for you to dab your eyes with and sits with you

puts his arm around you and lets you lean on him and cry

doesn’t try to interrogate you or get you to open up—he knows you will when you’re ready

gets you water so you can rehydrate

lots and lots of forehead/top of the head kisses

any sort of gentle touch he can give you he does

and once you’re done crying he’ll help clean you up while you tell him why you were upset

listens very intently too!!

dabbing your eyes with a cold cloth and wiping away your tear stains while reassuring you everything will be okay

also thinks you’re just the CUTEST crier

wants to take a picture of your ‘just cried’ face but respects you if you refuse

Beel:

most emotionally mature of the group tbh

comes in to your room to ask you if you have any snacks

you’re curled up in a ball under the covers so he assumes you’re sleeping

he’s about to leave when he hears sniffling

“y/n, are you awake”

“y-yeah”

can instantly tell you’re upset

he comes and sits at the end of your bed and rubs your back over the blanket

“what’s going on?”

doesn’t force you to talk about it if you don’t want to

also doesn’t force you to come out from under the covers

instead he talks you down from your ledge and is very gentle with you

eventually you do come out and he gives you a big hug

you fall apart in his arms but he holds you until you feel better

even if you end up falling asleep he stays with you

just wants you to feel better (even though he still really wants those snacks)

Belphie:

is wandering the halls at night because he slept all day and now he can’t sleep

hears you crying in your room

is hesitant to go on because he doesn’t know how you’ll react and doesn’t know how to deal with this

paces past your room door at least a dozen times before finally coming in

you’re not even paying attention so you don’t notice he’s there until he sets a gentle hand on your shoulder

“why are you crying?”

in classic y/n fashion you instantly start crying harder

belphie thinks he upset you by touching you so he moves back

but it only makes it worse

doesn’t know what to do but your crying is lowkey annoying

is torn between hugging you or letting you be

decides on giving you an awkward half-hug and then leaving

does NOT expect it when you suddenly cling to him and cry into his shirt

you’re getting it all wet but he doesn’t care

is kinda flustered that you’re so close to him (not that he would ever let it show)

realizes after twenty ish minutes that you’re not crying anymore

you’re not moving at all

you must have fallen asleep from all the crying you’ve done

he can’t just leave you on the floor so obviously he carries you back to bed

but what if you wake up and think he left you?

it’s probably better if he stays with you…

#obey me oneshot #obey me fic #obey me x you #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #leviathan avatar of envy #leviathan #mammon x you #mammon #satan x you #satan x reader #lucifer #lucifer x reader #asmodeus #beel x you #beel headcanons #belphie headcanons #beel and belphie

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sparklingsin · 3 years ago

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(push your heart, and pull away); - IV

tom holland x female!reader

summary for series: you've got yourself in a predicament that involves fake dating the star employee of your company (who you might have feelings for), all to convince your family that you're finally happy, after what happened with your last shot at love. can you, the CEO of a booming business, your family's darling daughter pull off the biggest lie you've ever told? [inspired by The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas.]

tags and warnings: female reader, relatives, romance tropes, denial, banter, sexual tension, swearing, bit of angst, mention of cheating (ex), a french accent but i don't mean to be offensive

a/n: 3.2k words // sorry for the slightly late update. i really hope you're enjoying the story! i hope the tension and pining comes across as i want it to. it'd mean the world to me if you'd comment something you liked in this chapter <3 have a good read!

catch up: chapter one / chapter two / chapter three

CHAPTER IV

You tried to focus on something else. Anything but the burning press of Tom’s hand against the small of your back. It lingered there, as his body remained angled against yours, fingers just sitting on top of your hips.

“Nice to finally meet you, mate," Tom was saying, as he shook your brother’s hand. After hugging your brother for a whole two minutes as you willed your tears go away, you had introduced Tom to him.

“You too. I wanted to see what poor fool my sister had trapped,” Ned said, teasing you, a smirk on his face. The childish urge to kick him coursed through you.

Tom chuckled but pulled you closer so that your hips were touching. “Only a fool wouldn’t want to be trapped by her,” he said, smiling down at you adoringly.

How and why was he so good at this whole pretending thing?

“Aww, you’re the sweetest,” you replied, smiling at Tom, letting the cheesiness pour out into your smile. If you were going to pretend to be a couple, you were going to make sure it had everything that made people physically sick — the cringe, the over-the-top-ness. You were going to give it your all.

“Where is Betty?” you asked then, willing yourself to look away from Tom.

“Still sleeping. I’ve got to go wake her right now actually,” Ned said, glancing at his watch, “We’ve got to get some stuff from the market.”

“Can’t wait to meet her,” you said, squeezing your brother’s hand.

“And I can’t wait to properly catch up with you,” he replied, squeezing your hand right back. “Let’s get you guys to your room. We’re having lunch on the yacht today, so rest up.”

The sun was starting to get higher up in the sky and it had started to get uncomfortably hot outside. You had unpacked and freshened up while Tom slept peacefully on the only queen-sized bed of your hotel room.

How you were going to sleep on the same bed together was a question you’d pushed to the back of your mind. You’d cross that bridge when you got there.

Tom was showering now and for some reason, your mind drifted to the possibility that you would see him come out of the bath, only in his towel and that would probably break you. Not to mention, be completely inappropriate.

So you left, trying to push the idea of a naked Tom out of your mind— why was it so easy for your mind to drift towards these fantasies? His touch had been enough to thoroughly shake you up and sure, you could put up a façade, you were used to it, but this was only the beginning.

The common lobby of the hotel was almost empty and quiet, the perfect place to take up the three meetings you had reserved for yourself today. You were officially on leave but you liked to stay updated about the company daily.

You put on your earphones and let the world fade away.

An hour and a half later, when you were finished with the meetings and convinced that your very hot colleague would be dressed by now, you went back to your room. Tom was there, (thankfully clothed) brushing his glorious hair in front of the mirror.

Dressed in a red floral shirt, tight pants and a Rolex strapped to his wrist; he was a sight to behold. You were used to his office turtlenecks and loose slacks, you were taken aback by the boyfriend Tom looks with the casual tees, but this — this was another level. He exuded class and it looked effortless. You watched as he put on his cologne— that fresh, minty smell that reminded you of familiar warmth.

“You’re staring,” Tom said, jolting you from your thoughts.

Fuck.

“Well, you look good,” you retorted, tearing your eyes away from him. You plopped down on the bed, determined to seem unfettered by your admission.

“Why thank you,” Tom said and you could almost hear the smile in his voice as you scrolled through your phone.

Stupid beautiful man.

You turned your attention back to Tom who was now organising his cologne, perfume and other grooming products on the vanity table. The pants fit him just right, his butt—

"Don't judge. I like to look good," Tom said to your reflection in the mirror.

You quickly looked back at your phone.

"I'm not judging. I like a man who takes care of himself,” you said. You bit your tongue. Hold back, Y/N, too much. Too. Much.

He was starting to invade your mind more and more and it was getting out of hand.

Day-dreaming about your colleague?

Seriously, Y/N?

Tom raised an eyebrow at you. You flushed.

“C’mon, we should get going to the yacht,” you said, gesturing at the time on your phone, eager to move past the awkwardness.

“You're going to meet some of my family. It’s going to be overwhelming," you added, suddenly feeling your mood dampen.

Tom turned to look at you then, a reassuring smile on his face. “I know. But we'll be okay.”

We’ll be okay. It was that simple.

Your brother had splurged alright. The yacht was huge. It was the venue for half the parties that were going to happen as part of the wedding celebration. The sun was high in the sky, but the yacht was significantly cooler. You had chosen to put on a pretty summer dress, a magnificent yellow that made you glow.

You arrived with your hand entwined in Tom’s. The yacht was filled with several of your relatives and many people you didn’t quite recognise. You assumed they were Betty’s guests.

Fleur was the first to spot you. “Zere she is!” she screamed, French accent coming through, launching herself at you.

You hugged her tight, genuinely happy to see her after so long.

“How have you been?” she asked, kissing your cheeks lightly.

“Fantastic as ever. And you?”

“Oh my god, is this him?!” she squeaked, ignoring your question as she turned her attention to Tom.

He smiled at her warmly. You reached for his arm again, pulling him towards yourself. “Yup, this is Tom. Meet Fleur.”

She shook his hand vigorously. “I am so 'appy to meet you! Y/N never told us anything, but I am so 'appy!”

“Ah well, she is a mystery to most,” Tom said, smiling at you and then back at Fleur.

“She is isn’t she? If she troubles you too much— ” she giggled, pulling Tom close, “— you come find me.” She winked at him.

“Fleur!” you hissed, feeling embarrassed.

“Only kidding, ma sœur!”

She excused herself after a while, once you had both exchanged updates about your life.

“God, sorry, that was embarrassing,” you told Tom once she left, burying your face in your hands.

Tom clasped your hands in his, making you face him. “Hey, hey. Don’t worry, L/N. I’m fine. I signed up for this, remember?”

Before you could answer, your brother materialised next to you.

“Hey, Y/N. Mind if I borrow Tom for a minute?”

You looked at Tom, who had a curious expression, and then at your brother questioningly. “What the hell for?”

“Oh relax. It’s a guy thing,” Ned said, like that explained everything.

You looked at Tom, alarmed. Whatever Ned had in mind, knowing him, would be too much for a pretend boyfriend to handle. Even if Tom was the best at it.

“I—,” you began, looking at Tom with worry in your eyes.

“Darling,” Tom said gently, giving your hands (that were still clasped in his) a squeeze. You were still getting used to the nicknames and touches.

“I’ll be okay.” He nodded at you, throwing you a look that clearly said trust me.

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Tom though. You were worried about what weird nonsense your cheerful brother had cooked up. And sure, Tom had signed up to be your boyfriend, but wasn’t it too much to get involved in your family matters? All alone?

Before you could object, however, the two men marched away, Tom close on Ned’s heels.

This was going to blow up in your face for sure. He was with your brother and other friends, alone, armed with only the information you'd given him. Tom was simply going to run away today.

You sighed, plopping down on the wooden bench. You sat there for a while in agony, staring at the blue waters beneath you, wondering to yourself how you had ended up here. This was so absurd, you hadn’t even begun to think of the repercussions you’d have to face once you got home.

“Y/N, honey!”

You groaned internally, immediately recognising that shrill, nasally tone. Not a second of peace here.

“Auntie Paaaam!” you greeted her, feigning a smile, wishing you’d gone with the boys even though you hadn’t been invited. She crushed you in a hug— in two days you’d hugged enough people to last a lifetime— as she mumbled your name over and over again.

“I thought you were never going to show up, sweetie,” she said in an cheery tone. Knowing her, she meant it condescendingly.

You gave her a small smile, reluctant to talk.

“After what happened with Kevin, I didn’t think you’d show up to a family wedding, honey. And rightfully so. You poor thing,” she pouted, giving your chin a little squeeze.

God, you loathed her. She despised everyone in your Uncle’s family— which happened to include you, someone your Uncle loved dearly.

“I couldn’t miss my brother’s wedding, could I?” you shot back through gritted teeth. You hoped you didn’t sound too bitter. The mention of Kevin’s name had made your heart sink to the depths of the ocean spread out before you.

“Of course, of course,” she said, faking sweetness. She pretended to brush something off your shoulder. “Fleur tells me you’re here with a boy? Where is he?”

Oh, Fleur.

“Uh— he’s around. Off to help Ned with something,” you said, wishing somebody would come to get you out of this conversation. Part of you wished Tom was here, while the other part was glad he wasn’t there to see you look so defeated.

“I am so glad you found someone,” she said, looking at you with utmost pity. You could’ve knocked the stupid feathery hat off her head. “Kevin could’ve been a great man— “ that name again. You closed your eyes for a second, trying to calm yourself down. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t let Aunt Pam get on your nerves but you were beginning to feel your throat burn. “— what a shame.”

You would’ve screamed if you didn’t suddenly feel a presence behind you. Then, the firm chest of someone against your back and that familiar warm, minty smell.

"There you are, sweetheart," Tom said in your ear, but it was loud enough to reach Aunt Pam, who had shut up. "I've been looking for you."

His fingers grazed your hips and came to a rest on your belly, as he gently bent over your shoulder. You froze, a chill going down your sternum as he kissed your shoulder. It wasn't even a proper kiss; his lips only gently brushed against your shoulders but it was enough to make gooseflesh erupt all over your body.

"Hey, Tom," you said, trying to not sound too flustered as Aunt Pam continued to look at you two, eyes popping out of her head. "This is Auntie Pam. Auntie, meet Tom, my boyfriend.”

Tom greeted her politely, not letting go of his hold on you. He was smiling at her but his eyes were cold. You’d never seen him look like that before. It sent a cold chill down your back.

Aunt Pam seemed to shake herself and beamed at Tom. “Oh! Her knight in shining armour,” she said, smiling sweetly but her smile never reached her eyes. “She is so lucky to have you after Kevin.”

Nothing changed in Tom’s expression, he continued to smile coldly. “I’m lucky to have her actually,” he said, sounding so sure, you would've believed him if you didn’t know better. You tried to calm the butterflies that had taken flight in your stomach.

He is only pretending.

Before Aunt Pam could say anything, Tom turned you to face him. “We should get going, the food’s getting cold.”

“Thank you for getting me out of there,” you whispered, as you walked away from your aunt and towards the food.

“No problem,” Tom said, not quite meeting your eyes as he handed you a plate and took one for himself. You piled your plate in silence— you’d forgotten how heavenly your brother’s choice in food was.

You wondered what had gotten to him. Perhaps dealing with Aunt Pam had been too much. Or whatever had happened with Ned had broken the camel’s back. Your stomach cemented at the thought, what if he was going to leave? But you didn't dare ask, you sat beside him in silence. Your anxiety only continued to build.

He didn't look at you through the entire course of the meal.

You were exhausted, to say the least. You had been here for only a day, but you had already dealt with so many people, it thoroughly drained you. The people tired you and Tom confused you. He was being perfect, far too perfect, and it raised a myriad of emotions in you.

You hadn’t spoken much after the time on the yacht, he had chosen to work on the balcony while you worked on your bed for the remainder of the day. You figured (for the sake of your own sanity) that he had finally realised what he'd signed up for was crazy.

You decided to call in the night early. Tomorrow, all of the other guests would be arriving and you were on guest duty. Your parents would be flying in as well.

Tom stepped back into the room then. After the yacht, he had decided to change into a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tank top. You had tried your hardest not to ogle at his arms as he moisturised them. You knew he worked out, but he looked particularly huge in the flimsy top, and your thoughts raced back to the shirtless Tom you had pictured in the morning.

“Where do I sleep?” he asked, and you looked up from your chair in front of the vanity where you’d been wiping your face. He seemed in a normal mood now. You danced in your head, thankful that he didn't show any indication of wanting to leave.

There wasn’t a couch he could crash on and not enough space on the floor to bring in a mattress.

“Should I get another room?”

You blinked at him. “Don’t be silly. We can sleep together. Here. In the bed, I mean.”

It was the only option. You didn’t want him to be uncomfortable but a different room spelt trouble.

“Hey, Holland. What did my brother call you for?” you asked, suddenly remembering.

Tom shut his laptop. “He wanted me to meet his friends for the bachelor party later.”

“Bachelor party?!” you asked, eyes widening. The image of your boys— the boys, Y/N— at a strip club came to your mind. “When?”

Tom shrugged, walking towards you. “Are you okay by the way?” he asked, stopping behind you. “I mean… what happened with your aunt.”

You looked at his reflection in the mirror.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you said, not sounding okay.

“L/N,” he began, voice becoming soft at once. “Do you want to talk about it?”

And you realised he meant Kevin. You knew Tom was smart enough to put the pieces together but he deserved to hear the whole story from you.

You sighed. “Kevin is my ex. I’m sure you gathered that. We— “ you began, already feeling your throat close, but continued, “— we were together for two years, started dating pretty young. He came with me to Fleur’s sister’s wedding. Everybody knew him by then, I thought he was the man I was going to marry,” you looked back at Tom then, and something dark flickered over his features. “I was a bridesmaid and I had been doing some work when I walked into one of my friend’s rooms to find her and Kevin— “ you stopped yourself.

The story was always hard to tell. You hated it. It had been a defining moment of your life and had left you broken after that. You stood up and walked towards the window, you didn’t want to see Tom in the mirror, lest you start weeping. “I was furious, I would’ve ruined the wedding if Fleur hadn’t calmed me down. But everybody found out anyway and it was ugly.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Tom. You didn’t want to see the same pity you’d seen in everyone’s faces as you’d walked down the aisle with some random groomsmen. The same pity that reflected in your mother’s voice even today, the same pity that made everyone treat you like glass.

“That’s why you wanted everyone to know you had a boyfriend,” Tom said after a while. You hadn’t realised he’d come to stand behind you.

You turned to face him.

There wasn’t a shred of pity in his eyes but something else... something raw and fiery.

“I want them to believe I’m happy despite what happened. That I am capable of picking myself up,” you confessed, and you felt a giant weight lift off of you. You didn’t want it to happen, but the day had been overwhelming and the confession made you feel cold suddenly, so you teared up.

“Hey, hey,” Tom said gently. He pulled you into himself, his arms going around your shoulders. You felt yourself loosen up as you buried your face into his chest, letting the tears silently roll down your face.

“Y/N,” he said softly. It was the first time he’d ever said your name and the sound only made you bury yourself deeper into him. “You’re the strongest person I know. Your family might not see it but your employees do. I see you.”

You stifled a sob at his words.

How could one person be so kind?

You didn’t know how long you were in Tom’s arms like that, but you could’ve stayed for an eternity. You were surrounded by his smell, his comfort and it felt so safe.

But you had to let go. You stepped away a bit, once the tears had stopped coming.

He was standing close, far too close and you could almost feel his breath on your face.

He stared at you for a moment, upper lip twitching.

“I-uh,” you whimpered. You closed your mouth again, not quite sure what to say. No, you had much to say but what were words even? Your cheeks were still wet from the crying. Tom lifted a hand and grazed his thumb over your cheek, drying it. He pursed his lips, watching you. It was a blink and a miss but you were sure his eyes flicked down to your lips and back.

“Goodnight, L/N,” he said, extracting his arms from you and shoving them into his pockets suddenly. He gave you one last nod before turning to the bed.

You felt hollow in your heart as he shut off the lamp. You realised he had pulled himself away because you’d crossed a boundary by oversharing. He hadn't asked for all this added burden, had he? Your heart sank even further.

“Goodnight, Holland,” you whispered, as you slowly walked to your side of the bed.

This was going to be a long night.

feedback is appreciated! if you'd like to be tagged in the future chapters, please leave a comment or send an ask!

NEXT CHAPTER ->

taglist: @boomitsallie1 @bruxa0007 @mn-jun @kierassholland @berryologyyy @rayisthehoe @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @gina239 @namoreno @itszulli @olsensnpm

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland series #tom holland uncharted #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x fem #mywriting

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fallingfor-fics · 3 years ago

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Teachers Pet-chapter 39: new years eve

All chapters

Chapter 38

A/N Sorry ive been gone for awhile! I started college but i’m all adjusted and in a routine and desperate to update again!

"Is there a reason you're out here in the cold, we have only an hour til midnight." he said calmly looking over at me resting his hands on his knees. "No, I just needed some air." I mumbled not turning my gaze from the lake. "You know if you tell me what's the matter I might be able to help." he said lightly resting a hand on my shoulder. I sniffled and looked over to him, "No I can't tell you it's personal." I turned my gaze back to the lake.

"Well you do know my biggest secret, but I understand." he said reassuringly as he moved to get up and leave. "I liked someone," I began, he stopped and sat back down, "well as of recent I discovered I actually loved them I think." I continued looking down at my cold hands. "And I opened up to him, and I thought he cared for me too because..." I looked up at the dark water and let out a sigh, " because he kissed me. But he told me it was a mistake and that he never cared." I said looking over at Remus. He nodded and took in a breath, "Well sometimes people lie about their feelings to protect others." he said with a small smile. I looked into his sweet blue eyes and gave a sarcastic smirk, "He said he didn't care if the Death Eaters took me." He paused for a moment and rested his hand on mine squeezing it lightly. "Well in that case you are too good for him anyways. No man that says that should be yours, and it's the universe showing you he's not the one." He gave a small smile, "yeah well the universe has been playing mind games with me lately, because he's the one I smelt when I brewed Amortentia." I sighed looking back down at my hands. "Oh." he said, a little confused. "Yep." We sat in silence for a moment and I looked down at my watch, "It's thirty til we should probably head inside." I said quietly, looking back out over the lake, he nodded and we both stayed sitting. "I don't really want to think about him right now." I said picking at the snow. "I can understand, that must be hard. I've been there." He said looking down. I turned and looked at him, "Really? What's your story?" I asked quietly.

"Well, I think you know enough about me for now." he grumbled looking in the other direction. "I suppose." I said nodding and looking at the lake. He let out a sigh, "A friend and I had a mutual liking for each other when I was in school, but we kept it a secret from everyone. Stealing glances and meeting up late at night to chat. But we had... complications later on and were never truly able to be together. They moved away but our feelings never faded, I still care for them deeply but it's been awhile since we've seen each other. I miss them incredibly, they understood me and never judged me for my...secret. Always was at my side. And now every time I think of them it scars me a little more." he sighed, looking down at his hands and clearing his throat. I frowned and reached and held his hand. "Why cant you be together now?" I asked softly. He looked up and shrugged, "The timing has just never been right." he sighed out running a hand over his face. "Oh." I sighed as we both looked over the lake. "Yup." he mumbled as we both let out a small laugh at our life's parallels. "I think I know just the thing we may need." I said smirking, looking over at him, he furrowed his brow and I stood up, brushing the snow off my robes and holding out my hand. He took it standing up and we walked inside the school.

"Wow it's so dead in here, I guess no one cared about the new year anyway." I said scoffing as we walked down the halls, it was dimly lit from the moonlight shining through the windows. We both looked around as I dragged him through the halls, no students or staff in sight. We stopped at the Great hall and saw not a single person there. "I guess Albus wanted it to be quiet and calm after what happened today." I shrugged my shoulders, "Yeah I guess." I said pulling out my wand, I flicked it and it lit up and I stopped for a moment. "Is there something wrong?" Remus said stopping as well. "I just lit my wand without saying the incantation." I said furrowing my brows. "Oh well, very good." he smiled, "Thanks, but I've never done that before, wordless magic, besides the whole legilimency thing." I said as I kept walking down to the kitchen. "Oh well maybe you could do it this whole time you just never tried." he smiled as he followed me up to the kitchen doors. I stood on my toes looking through the window and used my wand to unlock the door. "And I just did it again." I said looking up at him, but he was looking down the halls. "What are we doing here?" he asked as I walked in. I ignored him and walked over to the bottom cabinet, I used my wand once more and opened it up, he came over and squatted behind me looking into the shelf. "Coffee?" he whispered confused. "No..this." I said , reaching behind the coffee and pulling out the bottle of firewhisky. I smiled holding it up and looking at him. "Oh y/n I dont think we should take that it might belong to someone. Plus you arent of age." he said as we both stood off the ground, nervously putting his hands in his pockets. I rolled my eyes and set it on the counter, "Geminio '' I said, pointing my wand at it. An identical bottle appeared next to it and I took it and put it back in the cabinet, locking it after. "It's fine, I would drink all the time with my parents and friends plus I'm almost of age. And who's going to tell? Because I'm not. Are you Remus?" I said making my way out of the kitchen, tucking the bottle in my robes. I looked over up at him and he scratched the back of his neck. "No." he said hesitantly. "Good lets go." I said closing and locking the kitchen door and heading to my common room. "I shouldn't be drinking on school grounds let alone with a student." He said as we walked down to the Dungeons. "Lighten up Remus, its new years and right now i'm not your student im your friend. If you don't want to then you don't have to, but I really need this right now." I said sighing as I stopped outside the Slytherin common room. He looked down at me as I smirked up at him, he nodded and I opened the door letting him in.

"What if another student hears us?" he said as we sat down on the couch in front of the lit fireplace. "I've got it covered, plus there's only like six other Slytherins here." I said flicking my wand and placing a silencing charm on the room. I also locked all the doors so the students couldn't leave their dormitories if they tried. I looked down at my watch and handed him the bottle. "Open it we have three minutes." I said watching the time. He opened it up and sniffed it and made a sour face, I giggled and looked around for glasses. "I was planning on drinking it from the bottle but the first drink should be from a glass, to welcome us into the new year." I said smiling at him examining the bottle. "Oh here." he said, pulling out his wand and making two champagne flutes appear. "That'll work." I said grabbing one and the bottle, pouring a little into each glass. I turned and faced him sitting with my legs crossed on the sofa, he turned his body to face mine as well and I watched the hands on my watch. "Ok we have thirty seconds." I said smiling as we both got prepared. "I haven't had a drink in awhile." he said swirling the liquid in his glass. "It'll be good for us, To get our minds off certain people. Tonight it's just us, no problems or baggage, just me and you." I said raising my glass as I began counting down quietly from fifteen. He raised his as well smiling, "Three, two, one!" I said smiling, we clinked our glasses and took the shots of auburn liquid, we both made faces as the burning liquid went down our throats. "Oh merlin that's nasty." he said and we both laughed. "To the new year!" I said taking a swig from the bottle and handing it to him. "And leaving behind our problems with it." he said smiling and taking a sip himself. I summoned a glass of orange juice to help with the taste and we both took a sip from it. "I am definitely a red wine gal." I said giggling, he laughed and nodded his head, "yeah I like to stick to my gin" he said smiling, "ew gross, the only good hard liquor is whiskey and maybe tequila." I said laughing. "No you are crazy it's definitely gin and bourbon" he said handing me the bottle. "No no no bourbon is the worst." I said taking another sip. "You just haven't had the right kind I'm sure." he said as we both laughed.

A half a bottle later and we were sitting chatting and telling stories, almost completely shitfaced but stable enough to not pass out or throw up. "So have you dated at all?" I asked as we sat legs crossed, across from one another on the floor in front of the fire. "I mean not anything serious, just a few dates here and there but I haven't really had the time or energy to take on anything serious." he slurred out as we sat and I fiddled with his shoelaces. "What about you?" he asked looking into the fire. "I mean i'm kind of dating this boy Draco Malfoy." I said looking up at him. "Really? Malfoy?" he said thinking. "Yeah but he's not the boy I was talking about. Wait, you know him?" I said, turning my attention back to his shoes. "No not really but his father, yes. We went to school a bit together. He was a few years older." he said furrowing his brows as he looked around the common room. "Ah yes I've met Lucius, he's interesting to say the least, very intimidating." He nodded and didn't ask any questions and just handed me the bottle. "Thanks," I said, taking another swig and handing it back to him. "I really like this feeling." I said smiling at him. "Yeah so do i, a little too much, which is why I try not to do it too often." he said laughing, "yeah same. Although there've been many occasions of me being home alone and I've snuck some of my parents' liquor to help numb any certain feelings." I looked up at him and he nodded. "Been there, it's like you don't even acknowledge all your issues because you're too messed up to think about them long enough." he said as we both just stared at each other. "I'm glad you are here, you're refreshing compared to the other staff." I slurred as I gave a cheeky grin up at him. "And I'm glad we are friends, we have a lot in common." he laughed as we both fiddled with each other's hands. We stared down at our hands as our fingers played with each other. I looked up and around the room, everything spinning and my vision not focusing. I focused back on him and looked into his eyes. We both just stared into one another and slowly began leaning in. I looked over his face and down to his lips, he kept his eyes on mine and we both leaned in further. I pulled him in by his collar and smashed my lips to his, running my hand through his hair as we kissed, the bitter liquid on our lips. I opened my mouth allowing him entrance and he slipped his tongue in my mouth, swirling it around as we breathed heavily. I set the bottle down and set one hand on his chest and the other gripping his hair. He leaned back and I hovered over on top of him as he layed back on the rug. We continued kissing passionately as I felt his hands on my waist. I tugged his hair and lowered my body on his, slowly grinding on him as we made out. A couple moans here and there coming from both of us. We were breathing heavily and after a few minutes we both opened our eyes and shot up. "Oh my merlin i'm so sorry." I said wiping the corner of my mouth. "No I'm sorry." he said smiling nervously, we both sat breathing quickly and smiled, "I should probably go." he said standing slowly, I stood with him and nodded. "Yeah I will um see you tomorrow." I said walking over to the door and opening it for him. "I had fun." I said laughing a bit as he walked out. "Me too." he smiled and walked off down the hall.

Taglist; @lovelyhoneylemon @juliijah

#snape x reader #severusnape #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #slytherin #hogwarts #severusnapesmut #severus x reader smut

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ad1thi · 4 years ago

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underrated stevetony fics rec list (P1)

i feel like a lot of really good stevetony fics get swept under the rug because this is such a big fandom and sometimes people miss out on quality content?? so this is a rec list of some of the stevetony fics i feel like everybody should have read/ be reading

Edit (31.12.2020): this got very long (i had almost 50 fics on my list, so ive decided to split this list into two parts. part 2 will be out soon!!)

Edit (20.02.2021): part 2 is out now!!

picture me in the trees: @ifmywishescametrue

Tony and Steve were childhood friends that almost became more, but Tony moved and they lost their chance. Thirteen years later, a chance meeting brings Tony back into Steve's life.

Free: @iwanttopizzamanyou

"Steve reads, and the words dance in front of his eyes, because while this used to be his dream, what he wanted, all he can think about is how this Hell will soon become his full time life."

Steve discovers fame, with fans waiting for him in the lobby and girls passing him their numbers after the shows. It used to be what he wanted, he supposes. Except his future managers keep asking more and more from him, and he's not sure his old life will survive. Tony is ready to help, and compromise, but Steve maybe isn't anymore.

making it work: @/ironarm

“Just tell him you don’t want to see him anymore,” Clint replies, finishing the end of his burger and starting to crumple up the wrapper, “It’s not like you love him or anything.”

“Clint, if I thought I could get rid of him about a week ago, I would have. But for some fucked up reason, I can’t lie to him. It’s like, I see those baby blue eyes, and bam. Whatever barrier that I built up from childhood trauma is gone.”

Clint chokes on the last piece of his burger, almost resisting the urge to smack Tony on the side of his head.

Tony was a fucking idiot.

Boys Like Us: @naferty

The video had been a mistake. One of the biggest mistakes he had ever done in his life, and considering Tony Stark had done a bunch of shit in his younger years, and even older years, that was saying something.

It was just that none of those things were as embarrassing as that video.

He blamed Clint for everything

Stained Fingertips: @thesoundofnat

“I don’t really believe in magic,” he said, clearing his throat. “But I’m almost certain you’re a goddamn wizard, Steve Rogers.”

Steve would remember those words for the rest of his life.

(Or, Steve is maybe slightly obsessed with drawing Tony. Not that Tony minds.)

Inhale, Ex-Sail: @summerpipedream

"Rich pirates decked out in top-of-the-line black market gear,” grumbled Tony, ”why don’t I have the budget to make those again?’

Rhodey inched back so that he and Tony were back-to-back. “We’re apparently law abiding citizens now, which means having to pay taxes.”

Tony scowled. “Urg, right. Remind me why I wanted to do that again?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “What was it you called him last time? Your sweet tart? Your apple pie in the sky? The wind beneath your wings? Hopefully he’ll fly here fast enough so we don’t get killed. Or worse, mugged.”

Tony Stark Bingo K1 - AU: Steampunk

As Constant As A Star: @atsadi

The Swan Princess AU

As young children, Prince Anthony and Princess Natasha of neighboring Midgardian kingdoms are betrothed, and spend their summers together every year until they are wed. Tony adores his headstrong friend Nat: it’s her scowly little companion Steve he’s not thrilled about at first. But soon Steve goes from being a thorn in Tony’s side to being his dearest friend – and much, much more than that. Despite Steve feeling the same way about Tony, the pair still dance around each other for years as Steve struggles to accept his feelings for another man: especially one already betrothed to another. Not to mention that Tony is a prince, and Steve is nothing but a squire.

But before they can make peace, Tony is kidnapped and dragged into the beginnings of another conflict in the nearby magical kingdom of Asgard – he really hates magic. With his potential usefulness diminishing by the day, Tony races to escape even as Steve, Natasha, and their friends race to find him and bring him home.

And—just to make matters worse—Tony has been trapped by a powerful spell and turned into a swan, of all creatures. He really, really hates magic.

Always Yours: @hollyjollyhope

Getting kidnapped is normal for them, at this point. But there's nothing normal about this.

And suddenly, Tony has a choice to make.

Oxeye Daisy (patience): @s-horne

“You make me want things I can’t have.”

Steve startled at the voice from behind him and turned around to see Tony standing in the kitchen doorway. He stared straight at Tony for a long moment. The room was quiet, time stretching out in a thick and uncomfortable silence as neither man dare to move nor opened his mouth to speak first.

White Clover (a promise): @s-horne

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Tony lifted his head as he tried to focus on Steve’s voice. When he managed to open his eyes and blink a bit of the blurriness away, he was rewarded with a gentle smile being shone down at him.

“There you are,” Steve said. “Was worried I was going to have to talk to myself.”

Though his tone was light, Tony knew what he meant. It was no secret that Tony was physically weaker and a hell of a lot more human than Steve was and was therefore struggling more with the lack of regular nourishment that came with being held hostage.

“Course not,” Tony said back, voice hoarse but plastering a smile on his face all the same. His head was pounding and his eyes couldn't stay open. “Would I ever do that to you? You’d never get a sensible answer.”

Acta non verba: @firebrands

unapologetic fluff about two idiots who can barely keep it together with how hard they're crushing on each other

or:

tony has to help steve with math + a halloween party = a good time for everyone, eventually

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

Adjacent, Against, Upon: @firebrands

A political AU!

Steve Rogers is running as the Mayor of somewhere, America. Tony Stark, his campaign manager, deals with a candidate who isn’t interested in lying, and just wants to do good by these citizens, god damn it.

song of unrest: @omg-just-peachy

How was Steve supposed to reconcile all of this? The way he looked so different but still felt so much the same? It made Steve’s head spin. He knows he shouldn’t care so much, that he is what he is, but he just wants to know.

Paint The Town Blue: @omg-just-peachy

Ten years since he’d seen or spoken to Tony Stark, ten years since they’d broken up to go away to school. And now this email. It could be his only chance to see Tony again.

Camelot: @weethreequarter

For one shining moment, there was Camelot.

In 2019, Karen Page meets Captain Steve Rogers to conduct an exclusive interview on his late husband, President Tony Stark.

In 2007, Steve meets Senator Tony Stark and falls in love.

he thinks he’s lancelot (but he’s more of a sir lamorak): @theotherwasdeath

Tony knows firsthand that violence isn’t funny. So why oh why does he think that the scene playing out in front of him, Steve and Victor Von Doom in a knock-out, drag-down fist fight, is absolutely hilarious?

wildflowers: @tinytonysnark

“So,” Steve begins, clapping his hands together, “the city of SHIELD is in debt. The big ups have sent for financial advisors, all the way from DC! They’re gonna take a look at the city’s spending and make some cuts.”

He squints at the camera against the morning sun shining through the courtyard, “I’m not that worried. Everyone here in the parks department is an important member of the team and absolutely needed.”

The camera swings towards the office where from the large glass window, Natasha can be seen picking up the ringing phone before immediately slamming it back down onto the receiver.

[A Parks and Rec AU]

trinkets of your affection: @starklysteve

Kissed him once for every year I loved him, Steve had written.

By that count, Steve owes him five more kisses now.

Tony traces the words, hands trembling, and tips back a shot of Howard's ancient whiskey. None of it burns anymore.

One day, he'll have lived more days without Steve than there are words in the diary.

For the first time since he'd woken with shrapnel in his chest, Tony fears the future.

----------

Or, five things Tony keeps to remember Steve by, and one thing Steve gives him to remember.

#adi's rec list #stevetony #superhusbands #steve rogers x tony stark #steve rogers/tony stark #steve x tony #steve/tony #underrated stevetony fics #this is part 1 of this rec list #part two will be out soon!!#im planning on doing this for other ships!!#so let me know if there's any ships you wanna see this for

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princecharmingmendes · 4 years ago

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Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes

*secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading!

previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter

*Word Count: 2.9K+.

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint).

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings.

*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.

-*-

Raul was fucked.

He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked.

Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created.

And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N.

So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach.

And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true.

“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.

Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”

“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late”

“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”

“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”

Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior.

He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.

Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.

They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.

“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”

“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.

Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.

“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.

“Oh hi”

“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck”

“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.

“I know, I know that”

Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?”

“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit.

“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.

“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town”

“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”

“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity”

Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.

“Boyfriend? Is he here?”

“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”

“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?”

“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.

Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”

“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one”

“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”

Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby”

Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”

“Geonoff, darling” he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.

And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”

“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”

“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”

“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.

Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”

“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”

“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.

“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please”

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.

“Do you want anything, baby?”

“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”

Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.

“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.

Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”

“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’.

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.

“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.

“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.

“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.

Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid”

As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.

Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.

“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.

Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”

“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you”

“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.

Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”

“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.

Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her.

“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”

“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.

“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.

“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.

“Why me?!”

“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp.

“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked

Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“

“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering.

“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch.

Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her.

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”

“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”

“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

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shoutaaizawas · 4 years ago

Text

↳ ❝burn❞ dabi x fem!reader → part V

summary: touya todoroki, your childhood friend was dead or so you thought. things get more complicated than you ever thought they could. word count: 2.7k+ tags/warnings: angst, mentions of abuse a/n: i'll be gone for a while but im hoping to have a couple parts done while im away. enjoy this until i return~ spoilers for chapter 265 of the manga. also im sorry i need to get better at writing action scenes. masterlist

part IV part V part VI

It was a night you had tried to forget but it always replayed in your mind, over and over. How could you forget that night? You would always carry the weight of it, the grief, the guilt.

It was a gut feeling. You were always in tune with Touya for better or worse. It had been a bad night, Enji had yelled and screamed at him and it was the breaking point. Touya knew he would never be enough to make his father proud. His quirk wasn’t the perfect quirk Enji wanted but Shoto did have that quirk.

Once Enji knew he had his perfect child Touya was even more neglected. Before that, he was at best a backup if Enji couldn’t have the child he wanted.

This pushed things to their limit. Touya had enough of never being enough. Sure, he hated his father more than anything but deep down there was still something in him that wanted his approval. Touya reasoned the best way to prove himself was going against his father’s biggest rival.

It was probably stupid but when you got that gut feeling that something was wrong with Touya you would go to him just to make sure. You hadn’t been wrong. You found Touya changing late at night and you knew he was up to something.

“What are you doing?” You questioned.

“Proving myself.” He said.

“By running around at night?”

“No, I’m going to find my father’s rival and show everyone that I’m strong enough. That I’m good enough-” He cut himself off taking a shaky breath.

He didn’t have to finish that sentence for you to know what he meant. How many nights had he opened up to you in his most vulnerable state? He had told you how through it all, even with how awful his father was to him he just wanted validation. He wanted his father to be proud, to be supportive, to love him. What kid didn’t want that? You knew that he just wanted to be good enough to be loved.

Touya was good enough to be loved even if Enji Todoroki would never see that.

“You are good enough, I know you want him to understand but this is dangerous.” You said. “This isn’t the right way.”

“You can’t change my mind.” He said as he walked past you.

“I’m not going to let you go alone.” You said as you followed. “What kind of friend do you think I am?”

“The best.” He said as he looked at you with that playful smirk you loved so much.

You wished more than anything that you had stayed home. Over the years all you could ever thing was what you could have said, what you could have done to stop him, anything to change what happened.

Touya had tracked him down to an abandoned building. Before you stepped in you knew this was a bad idea. Things only got worse once you found him.

The fight was bad, indoors there was only so much you could do. You could use your quirk but you had a disadvantage in a smaller area. It was bad, Touya’s quirk was getting out of control. More so than you had ever seen it before. The heat from his flames was nearly burning you.

Endeavor had caught on to his son sneaking out and followed but he had not been fast enough. The villain collapsed the building, with a rumble you knew that you had no chance of protecting yourself from the debris that came crashing down.

Your eyes opened to find Endeavor over you, guarding you against the debris. You quickly realized that if he had saved you where was Touya? Endeavor burnt the rubble away freeing the both of you. Standing up you looked around but there was no sign of Touya.

You screamed and screamed for him but there was no reply. Looking at Endeavor you saw his face fall.

“Why didn’t you save him? Why did you save me?” You screamed at him, hitting his chest.

You tried pulling up the rocks, looking for any sign of him but there was nothing. You screamed his name hoping for something, anything to tell you he was still alive.

The villain had disappeared and Touya was gone. Endeavor had been doing the same thing as you, looking for any sign of him but he realized it was useless. Sirens approached and he pulled you away from the scene and to the ambulance. You screamed punching and kicking but it was pointless against his strength.

“They’ll look for him. They can search better than us you need medical treatment.” He said putting you down on a stretcher.

“This is your fault! He did this because of you! Why couldn’t you just show him, love? Why couldn’t you tell him you were proud of him?” Tears streamed down your face as you sobbed.

Enji stared at you with a solemn face before he turned to the search and rescue team.

You were taken to the hospital to have your injuries treated. By the next morning, you were told that the only thing they found was a pile of ashes.

Touya was dead. Your best friend. The only person you had ever loved and you never had the chance to tell him.

After it all, you found it hard to care about anything. Hero work seemed so pointless. Your classmates tried to help you, cheer you up but it was an impossible task. Eventually, you were a loner, you went to school and did your work but didn’t connect with anyone around you. What was the point if you would just lose them.

Most days you would sit under the tree you and Touya always sat at and remember all the good times you had with him.

You remembered all the times he had patched you up after a rough training session. All your scrapes and bruises were worth it for the disgruntled look on his face as he kneeled in front of you with a first aid kit.

“Touya with how good you are with a first aid kit I think you might consider interning for Recovery Girl.” You would tease.

“Only for you, rain drop. Only for you.” He would always reply.

It hurt being there, under that tree thinking about him, knowing you would never see him again. Students passed and gave you a sad look.

It was odd, that night was present in your mind often but lately, it felt like you couldn’t push it away at all. You missed Touya, you always missed him. How often did you see something he would have liked and thought of him? How often did something happen and you wanted to tell him? It didn’t matter how long he had been gone, his loss was fresh as the day it had happened.

There was no connection that you could see between his death and the situation with the hero commission but it still felt personal.

You had pushed for more information but were unable to find anything. Your last resort was risky but you had a feeling it was the only way you would get a real answer.

Walking into the hero commission’s building your heartbeat in your chest. You knew it was dangerous but you were in this so deep, you couldn’t walk away without understanding what was happening.

You had scheduled an appointment with the commission to report on villain activity in your patrol territory. It was something you had done here and there and something a lot of heroes did to keep them informed.

But the real reason for your visit was different.

“Thank you for visiting us again, if you have everything written down in a file you don’t have to stay and explain it all, we will review it and deal with things as necessary.” An older man said. “Just to clarify have you found that we need more heroes or less in your area?”

You handed them the file. The man took it and set it down not even opening it.

“Things have been quiet so for the time being I think some heroes could be put to better use in other areas.” You said.

“Good to hear.” He said. “Thank you for your time.”

“Thank you for yours.” You said as you turned to leave.

This was your time, now that you were deep inside the building all you had to do was find where they kept all their files. Of course, they had a lot of different file rooms but you wanted the one that had the information they didn’t want out there.

It was unmarked but had a serious lock on the door. Obviously, they didn’t want people in there. You looked over your shoulder confirming there was no one around and no cameras before you started to pick the lock. You thanked your internship with a hero that specialized in more subtle hero work.

It wasn’t easy, especially with how shaky your hands were from nerves but finally, the lock clicked and you knew you were in.

Opening the door quietly you moved in looking around all the shelves. You had to be quick but you wanted all the right information. Most of it was unmarked. As you glanced over the information you were disturbed.

The hero commission had a program where they took in children with promising quirks and trained them into weapons. The most notable one being Hawks. Skimming through more of the information you found Hawk’s file. He was in fact was working as a double agent. What horrified you, even more, was that the commission approved the killing of Best Jeanist. Everyone thought he was missing but he was dead.

The paper slacked in your hand at the realization. You kept reading, you would have time to process this later. Looking over more files you found evidence of them killing off heroes and covering it up to keep this information from getting out.

A shiver went down your spine. You were now one of those people. If they found out you would be another casualty. You grabbed the most incriminating papers and folded them up and hid them in your pocket. You had to get out before someone knew you had been there.

Once you were out and around the corner you let out a breath you had been holding. You made it out but that didn’t mean you were safe. You had to decide what to do with this information before it was too late.

That night you couldn’t sleep, all you could think of was all the children that had been taken from their families only to be stripped of their identity and treated like soldiers. How could an organization that was supposed to stand for justice and heroism do something like this? It was wrong and that was just the tip of the iceberg of their misdeeds.

You were just one person, what could you do?

Enji Todoroki. Your interaction with him stuck in your head. He claimed to be a changed man, or at least a man trying to change. If you approached him with this information he might want to help, even if he didn’t want to you could guilt him into it.

The thought of working with him made you sick.

Hawks was a more dangerous option. He was a victim of their system, there was a chance he would want to get out. There was also a chance he would be the one trying to kill you if the commission found out you knew.

Perhaps it was your pride but you chose the more dangerous option, tomorrow you would talk to Hawks and see how it went.

As you left your house you had a bad feeling. Someone was following you. You tried not to look like you knew as you walked along the street. There were people around so you were most likely safe for now.

You had been wrong. A weight collided with you and you were thrown into the street. You were disoriented but you tried to gather your senses quickly.

The man that stood over you was familiar, he was a villain. You hadn’t fought him before but you knew his face. He had a teleporting quirk. As you stood up her appeared behind you a knife in hand. You swung your elbow back, hitting him in his ribs. He was quick, as your arm went back he took advantage leaving a gash across your arm before you hit him. He let out a sound of pain but recovered quickly grabbing your arm and flipping you onto the ground.

Your lungs burned as the wind was knocked out of you. He leaned down to grab you by the collar of your shirt but you kicked him in the stomach knocking him back. Standing up quickly you used your quirk to push him back with a gust of wind before you summoned a lightning bolt down on him. He let out a grunt of pain.

Even while he was still in pain he teleported behind you so quickly you couldn’t react. He kicked you to the ground, hard. You landed on your face, unable to brace for the fall. Your head was spinning from the impact. He placed his foot on your back holding you down, not that you could move with how disoriented you were.

“The hero commission sends their regards.” He said leaning down close to your ear. You had expected another hero to come after you or even an underground vigilante but a villain?

You let out a scream of pain as he dug the knife into your side. Great, he wasn’t going to go for the killing blow he was going to torture you first.

You waited for another stab but you were shocked when a burst of flames blew over you, knocking the villain away. When you rolled over you expected to see Endeavor, which would have been odd considering he wasn’t over here very often.

When you saw Dabi you were confused.

He walked past you towards the villain saying something you couldn’t quite make out before he let out another burst of flames turning the man into a pile of ashes. You flinched at the heat from his quirk. He turned to you looking at you with an odd expression.

Why was he here?

He didn’t say a word as he picked you up in his arms and walked in the direction of your house. Did he know where you lived?

“Where are you taking me?” You asked.

“Your house.” He said as if you should have known.

“How do you know where I live?” You asked.

“A hero is stalking me and you didn’t expect me to do some stalking of my own?” He said in a teasing voice.

“Oh.” You said. That made sense you supposed. You were in over your head, you should have realized that when a villain was trying to kill you for the hero commission but being carried home by a villain was somehow more confusing. “Why aren’t you trying to kill me?”

“One attempt on your life in a day isn’t enough for you?” He joked.

“Are you the one who took me home after that night in the alley?” You asked.

“None of your business.” He said.

It seemed you weren’t going to get a straight answer from him. You supposed that made sense. You got home and he opened the door and took you inside setting you down on the couch.

“Where’s your first aid kit?” He asked.

“Under the sink.” You said. “Wow, so you not only saved me but you're going to patch me up. I’m starting to think villains aren’t as bad as they’re made out to be.”

Dabi returned kneeling in front of you looking at you with those familiar blue eyes.

“Only for you, raindrop. Only for you.” He said.

The realization hit you and it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“T-Touya?” You could barely the name out. He looked at you with shock, it seemed he didn’t mean to say that out loud.

a/n: i swear i didn’t mean to leave it on a cliffhanger but it was getting really long and i didn’t have much time to finish it all

taglist: @flowersgirl02 @wesparklebitch @moon-write @strangely-charmed @ibookishqueen @tomomoni @why-so-red @grungy-pansexual @sugarandsoft @pansexual-potterhead @ha-tep @milegonzalez96 @prettyinblack231 @jadepersonaldriscal @nanamichan @multi-madison @e-wwis @itlivesintheanime

#dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #dabi #bnha x reader #touya x reader #bnha #mha #mha x reader #touya todoroki #my writing #burn

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offtopicoverload · 4 years ago

Note

What do you think the female lis’ families are like? I feel like only the guys talk about their families, with the exception being Talia talking about her parents and brother I don’t think any of the other girls do at all

hi anon thanks for the ask, hope my headcanons make sense

Talia:

pretty nuclear family, an older brother, her mum and her dad

her older brother’s maybe 4 years older or so, not enough that they never saw each other but enough that they didn’t really meet in school or anything

and that’s definitely why she meshes so well with the Jake even though they have like 6 years between them, shes used to the gap and hes really similar to her brother anyway, both goofy but sweet when they need to be

she definitely really close with her mother, i know its mentioned that they look just like each other, but i think that dialogues universal for the S1 LIs

and her mum owns a salon, right?

thats definitely why she takes such good care of her hair, her mother always did when she was little and encouraged it, complimenting her on it and styling it whenever she wanted

and she worked at the salon when she was a teenager and it was summer, working the front desk or cleaning up, sorting products, that sort of thing

its definitely a different story with her dad, hes pretty traditional and didnt take her coming out very well

it ruined things between them for a while and made it hard for her to visit, she only saw her brother at his place and her mother at the salon, but after LI, if shes with MC, he eases up a bit when he sees how happy they are

shes so open about her sexuality, especially on the show, because she doesn’t want any other kids to feel alone, she knows how much it sucked when she was a teenager

if she ends with MC, her mothers there at the finale and just showers MC in compliments and comments about wedding bells to mess with Talia

and her brother loves teaming up with MC and Jake to tease her

the first time he met Jake, Talia thought they’d get married on the spot cuz they just meshed so well

her dads wary at first, but once its clear that MCs not going anywhere, maybe he catches them talking about him or something and just being vulnerable with each other, which is something Talia never was with him, he starts welcoming MC more, buys her flowers or something the next time they visit and annoys Talia because he didnt get any for her

Allegra:

ive been headcanoning for a while that she has a really big family and an awful relationship with them

her parents got divorced when she was little, maybe 3 or 4, they both remarried, her mom got divorced and remarried again, so she has a ton of half and step siblings, but no full

because there were so many kids in whatever household she was staying in at the time she kinda got lost in the crowd, which is why shes so desperate for attention on the show, she never got any when she was younger

and no matter what happens on the show, her parents dont call her or come to the finale, the only person that says anything is the one step sibling shes close with

they're about the same age, maybe 8 months to a year apart, and were glued to each others side when they were tweens

but they live really far apart and her step sister couldn’t make it to the finale, so they barely see each other which makes them drift apart a bit

if MC runs away with her after the reunion, she gushes to her step sister and they get closer again, to the point that her sister moves in with her for a job a year or two later, maybe right before quarantine if MC doesn’t so they don’t go insane

MC and her sister get on well and always call her Leggy just to watch her get mad, and they’re the only two people that can get her to calm down when shes pissed, her anger being another side effect of being ignored as a kid

the only way she got attention was if she threw a fit, and eventually that frustration just stuck around

but she gets better when she gets closer with her sister again and after the backlash from the show dies down, which it does pretty quickly when her and MC announce their relationship since she was the fan favourite

she never really introduces MC to her family, it just doesn’t make sense to her, but MC drags her along to a few weddings and holiday parties until Allegra’s dad introduces himself to her like its the first time four events in a row

she gives up after that, and Allegra’s perfectly fine with it, she’d rather keep their relationship between them anyway

Marisol

like Talia, she has the same family dynamic - an older brother and her parents

but her brothers only a year older and their relationship is a lot tenser

her dad always encouraged competition between them - if one got a good mark on an exam, the other was expected to match or do even better, if her brother got an award, Marisol was expected to get it a year later, that sort of thing

she doesn’t really talk with her brother outside of formal or family events, there’s still a lot of tension from their teenage years between them, but Marisol’s too proud to admit it, and her brother is too

and she’d never admit it, but the whole reason she’s in law school is because her father wanted her to, and she was just lucky that she enjoyed it

and again, like Talia, her dad didnt take her attempt at coming out well, he just flat out denied it, told her she’d meet a nice guy and settle down, that is what just a phase, all that shit

neither her mother or brother stuck up for her, which pissed her off a bit and just made things worse

her mother was never that involved in her life, never seemed that interested unless she was getting perfect marks and competing in dance competitions

and because she was so focused on her studies and work, she never had many friends and has honestly always seen them as a waste of time

its why she has no problem shitting on Lottie’s girl code, to her it just never made sense

so most of her friends end up being from the show and MCs friends if they’re together, and shes not big on family events, her immediate family isn’t either

but she is really close to her abuela on her mum’s side and an older cousin on her dad’s who’s gay and shes always related to

she got really excited to introduce MC to them, and her abuela made a whole array of food for Marisol, MC, and her abuelo and her abuela cooed over MC for ages

her cousin bought them drinks and made them tell him stories from the Villa, and afterwards pulled Marisol aside and told her he was proud and approved of MC and it made her really mushy and she hated it, MC wouldn’t let go that she cried in the cab for ages

her brother and her mother were never particularly rude to MC, but her father definitely was cold and distant and disrespectful

she got pretty pissed after that, telling MC off for ever encouraging to go and shouting about why that kind of thing was the exact reason she kept her distance

her and MC definitely has some issues after that for a while, and she shut her dad out until he gave a halfhearted apology, but her cousin and abuelos helped her feel better about her family situation

Elisa:

her parents aren’t together anymore and her mum had custody of her most of her life, even though she struggled to raise her and her sister

she didnt know her dad that well until she was a in her late teens, but regardless of all the lost time, they still have a good relationship

makeup and art was an escape when she was younger, and even when her mother was exhausted after working multiple shifts, she always encouraged her and helped her improve or just told her she loved it

her mum was her biggest supporter when she started the whole influencer thing, and her favourite thing to spend her money on is things for her family, like flowers for when she visits her mum or a new phone for her younger sister

they’re seven years apart, so she never had that close of a relationship with her when she was young, because what 13 year old wants to hang out with their annoying 6 year old sister

but once she got a bit older she started taking her to the movies and shopping to bond and encouraging her own art

her sister loves music, and even if she cant relate to it directly, she always does her best to support her

she even got kassam to make her sister a mixtape after the show and give some tips on mixing, and if MCs a musician she always asks her to give her sister lessons or something

introducing MC to her whole family all at once was one of her favourite things to do, she took them all to dinner and bought MC a dress and everything

her parents loved MC and laughed at all her jokes, and MC nearly joked on her salad at a story her dad was telling

and even though her sister was pretty quiet, she told Elisa how much she liked her afterwards

they all start a family game night that is Elisa’s favourite thing to post about all week, and even though her parents haven’t been together since she was 7 or so, they still get on well and now that her dad’s more comfortable being there even though he’s not with her mum, hes more involved in her sisters life

her job and her Elisabees are crazy important to her, but she’d drop all of it for her family, even if she doesn’t seem super sappy

Lottie

shes an only child for sure, but with a few cousins shes decently close with

her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect by any means, but she still gets on with them

they encouraged her art even if they made some odd comments about her being alt that rubbed her the wrong way, but they mean well

there was a couple years where Lottie thought they’d get divorced, because they were arguing about finances cuz her mum went back to school and they lost her income, but when she started working as a nurse they were able to get back on track

her dad’s a bloke and loves sports and cars and all that, but hes also big in horror movies and is the one that introduced her to it

her mum hated all the gore, but her dad would let her watch it with him when she was out of the house

she always goes home for Christmas no matter where shes living, but has her own traditions for New Years and Easter

her aunt and uncle always host a big dinner and her dad drives two hours to get there, and she always spends the drive listening to new music and planning new makeup looks to test out

she has a ton of cousins because each of her parents has 4 siblings, but their ages are all so spread out that shes only close with a few of them and swaps stories from the year with three of them

they all lost their shit over MC when she brought her to their Christmas Eve dinner, hugging her way too much in Lottie’s opinion and telling her as many embarrassing stories as they could think of

her mum spent the car ride there trying to connect with MC, and they actually got on pretty well, but her dad seemed to click with MC even more for whatever reason, giving her a beer when they got back to Lottie’s parent’s house and turning on Lottie’s favourite slasher film for background noise while they talked

her dad made MC swear that she’d come back next year, that they weren’t allowed to trade between MC’s family for Christmas and Lottie’s, and MC agreed with a laugh as Lottie’s head was in her lap, watching the movie

Hannah:

she has a huge traditional family

three older brothers, two older sisters, and a younger brother

she grew up in the country and her mother had horses that she always loved to spend time with cuz i love her but she was 100% a horse girl

her parents never had any problems, were always happy and sappy and that was the only type of relationship she saw growing up, so before Love Island she didn’t really understand that relationships could be bad and how to deal with that

two of her older brothers and both of her sisters are married, her brothers and one sister have kids, again super traditional and happy, which only further reinforced these fairy tale ideals she has

she loves her nieces and nephews, but never felt like an aunt, more of an older cousin for whatever reason

her oldest sibling is her brother, they’re 13 years apart and he has four kids already, hes been married since 21

her oldest sister got married the oldest at 25, and shes always been worried she won’t match up to them, which was a huge motivator to go on Love Island

shes closest with her middle sister, who’s 23 with no kids, but she still has a nice house in the suburbs with a big yard, still crazy nuclear

her whole life has been spent around this type of tradition, and it was really hard for her to break out of it after Love Island

Hannah’s youngest brother is still only 15, and hes a bit of a black sheep - hes alt and dyes his hair and draws tattoos on his arms during school, and she was never close with him before Love Island, but after she comes out as some kind of queer, he comes out as gay and nonbinary(he/they) and they get really close for once

he gets in a fight with their parents when they’re 17, and he runs to Hannah’s place, driving multiple hours to get there and moves in with her after a few weeks

they stay with her until they graduate uni with a degree in education, getting a job at a school and telling all their students that his sister was on Love Island and her girlfriend’s really cool

MC and him are her biggest encouragement to break from the mold her family set, both so her relationship can thrive and to be a good role model for her younger sibling

she struggles with fitting in with her stereotypical family and siblings that all have multiple kids and nice houses, but she still loves her little mishmash of MC, her sibling, and the constant friends that cycle through their flat - Lottie, Priya, Chelsea, Gary sometimes even, Ibrahim once or twice as hes on a golf tour

Lottie loves her sibling and sometimes does makeup for them, and Chelsea always shows up unexpected to hang out with MC and redecorate their house but Hannah hates it because she likes all the memories her clutter has, even if MC calls her a hoarder sometimes

she had so many hand me downs growing up that now she has her own place, she loves filling it with things that are for her and MC and only them and has a really hard time letting go of things, always reasoning that they might give her inspiration to write or something

AJ:

shes an only child too, which made her dad treat her as much like as son as he could

her parents struggled to conceive, so once they used IVF to have her they didnt want to go through it again

her dad was super excited when she was interested in sports and is her biggest fan, always showing up to every single game and driving her to practices before she moved out, though she still doesn’t have a car cuz she hates driving, its too much pressure

her dad would watch games with her and coach her during off seasons, her uncles a football coach and used to get them tickets when he could, sometimes letting her train with his team when she was a teenager

her mum didnt like how hard she pushed herself, but was still supportive of how much she loved it

her mums a mathematician and always helped her with her homework because she awful at maths, while her dad would try and teach her history or edit papers until her mum had to step in and correct him

when she came out as bi and later gay, they didnt even bat an eye, her mum making her pride color cupcakes and her dad maybe even being excited that he could point out cheerleaders when they were watching games

her mum didn’t quite understand when she wanted to go on Love Island, but her dad thought it’d be a laugh and further enforced her “just have fun” attitude

but her parents are both crazy happy when she wins with MC, making a banner when AJ first brings her home

she thought her dad would crush MC when he started hugging her, and her mum made an entire cake, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and more sweets that she made them take home

her parents always make her and MC come over for dinner on Sundays and she started noticing the extra effort they always went to - her dad actually dressing nice, the house was super clean, the dog always had recently been given a bath

even though she knew her parents supported her, seeing all that really calmed her nerves about bringing home a girl, and made her coming out as a gay a lot easier

MC and her alternate between their family’s for holidays, and her parents each invite their brother and their families every time, and after their third holiday at her parents, they bought her and MC a dog

her and MC definitely have a pretty traditional family life, married after a few years with a nice house, going as far as to adopt a kid or two when AJ stops playing professionally, her parents always closely involved with their grandkids

Disclaimer - I don’t know if Yasmin or Lily make mentions of their family, so I’m just going with what I think

Yasmin:

her mother passed when she was 12, and her and her younger sister were raised by her dad

he wasn’t always the best dad, sometimes he struggled to make time for them with work, or sometimes he struggled to connect with them, but it was never anything too bad

she was always super close to her sister and parented her as she was growing up since they have a 9 year difference between them

her sisters her biggest fan and always makes her send demos and work in progresses so she can listen to them on repeat, and whenever Yasmin writes a song specifically for her she loses her mind

all her friends love Yasmin’s solo music and Enchanted Husband and she brags nonstop

Yasmin figured out she liked girls pretty young, around 10 or so, but only came out when she was 17. she didnt want her sister to ever feel alone or isolated if she ended up being queer too, so she tried to always be open about who she was

her dad sat her down when she bought a pride flag and had her explain everything to him step by step, and he gave her some space for a few days, but then he offered to take her to pride when it came around

he doesn’t talk about it with her much, and she knows he doesn’t fully understand, but he offers his support whenever he thinks she needs it

her sister absolutely fangirled over MC the first time she met her, hugging her and not letting go until Yasmin nearly pulled her off MC

her dad hugged her too but was far more reserved, hes quieter like her, and tends to keep his distance, whereas her sister has no problem shrieking and making a scene in a train station

later that night her dad pulls her aside and tells her he likes MC and thinks shes a good fit, and her sister has no problem saying how cool MC is, even when shes in the room

her sister and her dad always ask for tickets when shes touring nearby, and MC always offers to take them to dinner before the show, and the three of them get on better than Yasmin expected

she thought her dad might be too distant or her sister too excitable, but even if she’d never say anything, seeing them all get on makes things easier

when her sister gets older and moves out, their dad moves closer to Yasmin, even though he never says exactly why, and there’s a few years where her sister and her are both to busy to meet up, but MC makes them hang out together and then get dinner with their dad when their all in town

MC tends to be her reminder to slow down, and after that dinner she cancels the rest of her tour and takes a two year break in which her sister starts spending weekends at Yas and MCs, their dad visiting often too

Lily:

she has three full brothers and shes the only girl, her parents are divorced and her dad remarried while her mother stayed single

she has a step sister from her dad’s remarriage, but they dont have much in common and didnt grow up together, her parents only split when she was 15

two of her brothers are older than her and her oldest is the one shes closest with, with a gap of 7 years between them

hes an engineer and into cars too, he helped her fix up her first car and helped her pay for college

her youngest brother is only a year below her, but they were never close, he was never that interested in playing in the mud when they were kids

hes an art and english double major and still lives with their dad, hes closer with their step sister than Lily, but there’s no bad blood or anything

her other brother is a middle ground, three years older than her

he’s an accountant and used to drive her around before she could herself, they bonded over a few small mutual interests like a tv show they would binge together and just staring a space together since they shared a room, her younger brother and step sister across the hall

her dad wasn’t crazy active in her life and she doesn’t know her step mother, but her mum worked from home when she was younger and had custody on weekends

she babied her younger brother and always scolded Lily for being a tomboy and it bothered her a lot when she was little, until her older brother started encouraging it

her brothers all love MC, even her youngest, and they all try and bond with her in a different way

sometimes Lily goes home just to find a note that one of her brothers took MC to a movie or dinner or somewhere else, and she wants to be annoyed with them for it, but she likes the validation

she never officially came out, so none of them saying anything or criticizing her is really comforting, knowing that something so trivial doesn’t matter

her mum was a little shocked by the show and MC, but she tries to be polite and eventually comes around, inviting MC to go shopping to bond

her dad has no problem, her step mother being a little confused but not concerned, and her step sister doesn’t care, just nods at MC the first time she meets her

Lily tends to keep her distance from her family, especially when her older brothers find partners and start families, but is fine going to events, sometimes its nice to see her brothers and catch up

#can it kc #headcanons #litg talia #litg allegra #litg marisol #litg elisa #litg lottie #litg hannah #litg aj #litg yasmin #litg lily #asks

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fydream · 5 years ago

Text

✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

a/n: hi! an authors note before this chapter begins! 1. yes i know the formatting is different but that’s only because this chapter is 5.9k words long!! (yes you heard me!! 5.9k!! that’s the most ive written for anything published on this blog!!) so there will be a cut bc i know it’s annoying to scroll past long posts haha. 2. i know i didn’t mention it in this chapter but i just wanted to say that if you did want to listen to music while reading this, during y/n and jisung’s scene you should definitely listen to euphoria by bts and that jeno and donghyuck’s song is i.l.y. by the rose. i hope u guys enjoy!

An hour or so later you're running out your front door to meet Jisung, who already regrets saying he'll wait.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" You apologize. "I didn't mean to take that long you must've been bored out of your mind!"

"It's okay." Jisung reassures. "We won't be there that long, we might be a little late to hoco if that's okay with you."

"That's fine!! Just let me text Donghyuck that I'm with you then."

"Okay."

The ride to where Jisung is taking you is quiet, nothing but his various hums to the music he plays as as he drives. It's nice, it reminds you of the first time he gave you a ride home. Quiet, but comfortable.

Instead of looking at your phone you look out the window, then take a second to look at Jisung before looking back out the window again.

You so weren't slick about it either because he notices how you quick you look away and how eager you are to sneak another glance.

"What?" He asks. "Why'd you look at me like that?"

"It's nothing.." You mumble, trying best to hide the smile that's slowly creeping up on your face.

"C'mon." He insists. "Tell me!!" He tries to make it sound like he doesn't care about the topic that much, but his vocal chords work against him as it comes out as a whine.

"Nothing.. It's just.. You look like that, and I look like this.."

"What, you mean beautiful like always?"

Jisung makes note of how quickly your cheeks turn pink at the comment he made.

"You can't just say that!" You argue.

"Yes I can, you're my date tonight after all. What kind of person would I be to not compliment their date?"

You open your mouth, about to speak before he cuts you off from your thought. "And don't worry y/n. I'll take that look as a compliment itself." He snickers.

"Hey!" You shout, earning another laugh from him.

"Hey Jisung?" You ask once the giggles die down.

"Hm?"

"Don't tell anyone I've said this but um.." You start, trailing off at the last part. "Donghyuck has uh, told me things.. about you." You notice how he looks at you, how the expression on his face quickly changes from happy and carefree, to concerned and worried. "I know you probably know what I'm talking about.. I uh- I can kinda.. tell.."

"Yeah." He whispers, trying to block out what you just told him.

"But y'know. I think he's got you all wrong."

"You do?" He asks, a bit too eagerly.

"I do." You say. "From the past how many weeks? Of knowing you, we've gotten close. And I don't think you're anything like that, at least, not anymore.. I've seen the difference between how you act in class and when you're with Jeno and Jaemin, than how you are when we're together and I'd like to hope it isn't just an act. I'm not stupid, y'know."

"I never said you were, I never thought you were either."

"I know. You're not too hard to read, y'know."

For once, Jisung is left speechless. This is the first time anyone has really brought this up on him and he has no idea how to respond. Questions begin to flood his thoughts as he begins to wonder what do you know. Do you know the real reason why he asked you out? How long have you known? What if you never want to talk to him again?

"I-" He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay. I don't know everything about you." You scoff, watching as the boy next to you lets out an exhale. "I don't know that much, but I know enough."

"Enough?" He asks.

"Enough to know that if you are going to break my heart, you should do it right now. Because this is the part where I'm about to tell you how much I like you, and I don't want you getting that satisfaction."

Once you're done talking, you give him a smile. It's a small, innocent, bittersweet smile. It's one of the smiles you would give out to other girls who were ever mean to you, it's subtle, but it gets the point across.

"So what'll be? Park Jisung." You ask, awaiting a response.

Jisung has many things to think about right now, the most important one being driving. He still has yet to process everything you just told him, let alone figure out what to say.

"I.. don't know what to tell you, y/n." He sighs. "I don't want to hurt you.. Can you give me a few minutes?"

"You can have all the time in the world, sweetheart."

When Jisung finally decides to talk to you once you've reached your destination. If you're going to be honest, it was the most awkward car ride you've been in.

"Okay." He starts, closing his car door. "I know that was way more than a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you this here."

The spot that he had taken you to was a little hill area, on the other side of town. From the top of it you could see the sun set as it's golden rays covered the place you called home. You weren't going to lie, it was beautiful indeed but you didn't care for it at the moment. What you wanted to know was what he was going to say.

"I was.. gonna tell you this here no matter what happened so uh.. Here goes nothing?" There's hesitation, and you can already tell that whatever he was going to tell you was something big. "I'm not here to break your heart, y/n. I know, that's what you thought and probably what everyone else thought too but.. you're different. I know this."

Your brain wants you to call bullshit on that statement but your heart prevents you from doing so. The logical part of you believes that it's probably all a lie, an act just to get you to fall for him. You know this. You know the stories, you've seen the receipts of what he's done to people before you, and you can only assume the things he'll do just to make you fall for him. But if you knew this, then why does it still work?

"Am I really different?" You ask, looking up at him with shaky eyes.

He chuckles.

"Well, yeah. For starters, you're the first girl to ever call me out on my bullshit like that so.." He jokes. "I know.. you're scared. But you shouldn't be." He whispers. "You really are different. I promise."

"Listen, Jisung." You start. "I really want to believe you. It's just hard, because you haven't really given me a reason on why I should."

"That's okay. I understand." He says softly. "I didn't expect you to."

For a second, your heart breaks. It would've continued if he didn't continue talking right then and there.

"But what if I told you all the reasons why you should?" He asks, giving you a shy smile.

"What are they?"

"Well first of all. You're smart. You're smarter than I'll ever be. You've figured me out in what? The span of three months? You don't give yourself enough credit than you deserve. Second of all, you're really passionate about a lot of things. Like that time we argued in the library over the best Stranger Things season? Even though you were wrong, you kept arguing against me."

"Hey!" You exclaim, while Jisung gives you a smile in response.

"Third of all, you're really cute. Don't think I don't notice how your nose scrunches whenever I make a comment you don't like, or how easily you get excited over the simplest things. Remember when we walked to the cafe across the street from school? You got excited because the place had good boba, out of all things. Do you know how ridiculous you sounded?"

"Well- yeah! That's because it was a cafe! And not a boba shop!" You defend.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Also, did you know that whenever you get embarrassed over something not only your cheeks turn pink, but your nose does too."

"You can stop now.. y'know.." You mumble.

"These are just a few things that I like about you, y/n. Do I need to tell you all of them for you to believe me?" He asks, looking at you innocently, as if he didn't just give you the biggest ego boost of all time.

"I believe you." You giggle as he pulls you in for a tight hug.

"Thanks, love." He whispers, placing a light kiss on the top of your head. "Now it's your turn. What were you going to tell me in the car?"

The next hour or so is spent with you two talking about each other, both of you giving out compliments as if there were no tomorrow. If it weren't for the sun being completely gone then you two probably wouldn't have noticed how long you've been alone together.

"Oh my god." Jisung exclaims. "What time is it?"

"Uhm.. Seven fifteen?" You respond, quite confused on why he was suddenly freaking out.

"We have to go, now. They're going to close the doors in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay!" You smile, eagerly skipping back to Jisung's car with his hand intertwined with yours. "We better get going then, huh?"

"Y/n said that she might be late because she's with Jisung already." Donghyuck tells Renjun and Chenle once pull up in front of his house.

Renjun had driven both of them together due to them only being a block away from each other. Donghyuck on the other hand was going to drive you, but when you texted him that you were already with Jisung he decided to ask Renjun for a ride. "Sorry for the inconvenience.. by the way." He mumbles, buckling his seat belt.

"It's alright. Where do you think they went?" Renjun asks.

"Hell if I know. This is the most I've seen Jisung do for anyone." Donghyuck retorts, clearly bitter about being ditched by his best friend.

"Should we be worried?" Chenle asks.

"I don't think so." Donghyuck responds. "Y/n is her own person and she can handle herself, plus what the fuck is Jisung even gonna do? They probably went to take pictures or something."

Chenle shrugs. "I guess so. How are you doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

Chenle shrugs again. "You know what I mean. During the time you two fought you barely said anything to each other, it was just her hanging out with Jisung. Then, even after you made up she ditched us to hang out with him and even now they're probably on a date before the dance or something. How are you dealing with it?"

Once Chenle is done talking, Renjun shoots him a glare before hitting him lightly on the back of his head.

"Ouchie.. That hurt!" Chenle whines. "Aren't you supposed to be driving Junnie.~~" He teases.

"Yeah but I'm also trying to make sure no one fucking cries tonight." He hisses. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I dunno. Was curious I guess?"

"Haven't you heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"

"It's been alright." Donghyuck says to prevent Renjun from harming Chenle any more. "I haven't really thought about it I guess? I mean.. I was the one who assigned her to Jisung after all so.."

"Do you think she y'know? Likes him?" He asks.

"Chenle!"

"Whaaaat?? I'm just asking."

"Zhong Chenle you will drop this topic before I stop this car and make you walk to homecoming alone."

"You wouldn't do that. You love me too much."

"Don't try me." Renjun threatens, turning on his blinker.

"Okay okay.. god.."

"Are you two done arguing now?" Donghyuck asks, rolling his eyes. "And no, Chenle. I don't think she does. If she did she would've told me by now."

"Alright Hyuck.. Whatever you say."

Sooner than later the three arrive at school where Renjun drops off Chenle and Donghyuck to hop in the line already forming before leaving to park his car.

"Ask any more questions Lele, and you're walking home." Renjun threatens before Chenle slams the car door on him.

"I mean it this time!" Renjun yells as he watches the two boys walk away from him.

"So." Chenle starts as Renjun drives off. "What's your answer?"

Donghyuck gives him a confused look. "Answer?"

"To y'know.. the question."

"I already told you."

"No silly, I meant your real answer."

Donghyuck is silent for a second before he decides to answer.

"How did you know?" He asks, and Chenle giggles.

"You just told me." He laughs. "I didn't think you'd walk into that one, Hyuck."

"Oh shut up." Donghyuck teases. "It's not like it would matter or anything."

"I supposed you're right." Chenle hums. "But if it did.. Then what?"

"Then I'd tell her to get out of there." Donghyuck whispers to himself.

"Hm?"

"Oh- uh, nothing. I dunno." Donghyuck responds. He knows he has no chance in fooling Chenle but even after that response you'd know not to bother him about the topic anymore.

Once Renjun is done parking he meets up with the two boys and they discuss about how their night will go. While the line slowly moves Renjun argues with Chenle that they should take photos first. Chenle argues back saying that he wants snacks and that all the good ones will be gone if they wait too long. While this goes on Donghyuck has been sending you frequent texts.

[hyuck: hey! we're in line now! see you in a bit?]

[hyuck: are you on your way soon?]

[hyuck: pls hurry.. renle fighting.. dk what to do..]

Needless to say, you haven't responded to any one of them, leaving Donghyuck wonder what you were even doing.

After successfully waiting in line and making it through their schools quick security check, Chenle, Renjun, and Donghyuck had finally made it inside the gymnasium where the dance was being held.

Once inside they move to an quieter place, where they could talk without having to yell over the already loud music that's being played.

"What about you Hyuck?" Renjun asks. "What do you want to do first?"

"Hmm? What? Sorry." Donghyuck responds, checking his phone once more before pocketing it. "What's happening?"

Renjun frowns. "You weren't listening, huh?"

"No, sorry." He apologizes. "Y/n hasn't texted me back yet and I don't want to do anything until she gets here y'know?"

"Don't worry Hyuck, it's possible they're still outside or something. They just opened the doors y'know."

"Yeah I know.. I'm just.. yeah."

Ten minutes later, you still haven't responded and the music is loud, but it's not loud enough to drown out Donghyuck's heartbeat as he frantically awaits your arrival. As each second passes by he begins to regret letting you go with Jisung, because you're never late, but the second that he lets Jisung control how your night starts you're ten minutes late and they're be closing the doors to the dance soon.

Renjun begins to notice that you aren't here either and decides walk over to Donghyuck to ask if he knew where you were.

"Hyuck, is Y/n here yet?" He asks, tapping his shoulder lightly.

Donghyuck gives no verbal response, instead he shakes his head while he fiddles with his phone checking back if you happened to text him. "I don't know where she is Junnie.."

"Hey, it's okay." He reassures. "It's not like she's in danger or anything, I know you don't trust Jisung that much but I doubt he'd do anything to hurt her. She'll be here soon, okay? I promise."

"Junnie~~" Chenle whines, popping up from behind them. "I'm boredddd. Can't we just do something already?"

"Lele, not now." Renjun shoos. "We're talking here."

"It's okay." Donghyuck says. "You guys can go do something, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from having fun tonight."

"Are you sure?" Renjun asks, he knows not to believe Donghyuck but he's getting quite annoyed at the fact that Chenle keeps pulling at his arm.

"Yeah. It's fine, if anything happens I'll text one of you."

"You heard him!! Let's go!!" Chenle exclaims before grabbing Renjun by the arm to drag him to god knows where.

"Chenle!" Renjun yelps. "I-I'll text you Hyuck! We won't be gone for long. I swear!" He yells back at him.

And then the two were gone. Leaving Donghyuck alone, by himself.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone, in a place full of people.

He doesn't know why he let them go off without him, maybe it's because he wanted to be alone, or maybe it's because he didn't know any better. But standing alone on the sides of a school dance, with no one to talk to really shows how lonely you are. He knows none of you meant to do it to him on purpose, it's just him overthinking things after all. But if he was okay with them leaving, then why did it hurt?

Deciding it was awkward enough to just stand there and people watch, Donghyuck decides to go back on his phone. He checks your text messages only to see no response. "Great." He thinks to himself. "You said you would be here, but you're not. I guess you did spend a lot of time with them after all."

Donghyuck feels himself about to cry when someone taps his shoulder. He closes his eyes trying to fight back the few tears that threaten to spill before having to talk to whoever was with him. He didn't want to answer any questions on why he was crying, only knowing that if someone asked him if he was okay he wouldn't be able to control them.

When Donghyuck looks up from his phone, the last person he expected to see is standing in front of him.

"Hi." Jeno greets. It's short, and airy. But it's just enough to get his heart racing. Is it from fear? Worry? Or is it from the fact that his ex, just so happened to catch him at the wrong place and wrong time.

"Hi." Donghyuck responds. It doesn't mean much because he didn't put any emotion into it, instead he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. He looks past Jeno towards the entrance of the gymnasium in hopes of seeing you walk in, spoiler alert, you didn't. "Chenle and Renjun picked the worst time to leave.." He thinks to himself. "I can't blame them though, after all I did tell them it was okay."

"You um- You look beautiful." Jeno compliments, giving Donghyuck a half-hearted smile. "So I've been told.." Donghyuck murmurs before attempting to push past the boy standing in front of him. "Listen. I don't have any time for this right now. Y/n said she would be here and she's not so-"

"Hyuck- Donghyuck, wait." Jeno starts, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist to prevent him from going any further.

"What the fuck? Let go of me!" He yells. It's loud enough to get the attention of a few people around him, but the music the DJ is playing is way to loud for them to have heard what he said.

"Hyuckie, I- Will you please let me explain?" Jeno practically begs, this is the first time that he and Donghyuck have interacted in person since the break up and he can already tell that he's blowing it.

"Don't- Don't call me that." Donghyuck states, hesitant to answer. "You've already explained yourself enough."

"Hyuckie.. Please. We haven't talked in months, you haven't let me say anything."

Of course, Jeno had to find Donghyuck in one of these moments, where one of their songs was being played by the DJ. It was one of the songs that Jeno had showed him, meaning it left such a big impact on his heart. He doesn't know what to do, does he accept Jeno's offer and let him explain? Or does he continue the rest of his high school career pretending that Jeno doesn't exist, leaving many questions unanswered.

Panic starts to fill Donghyuck as he looks around to see if anyone had noticed him and Jeno together. It would cause a bunch of talk, considering that fact that they were both pretty popular and that teenagers loved to start rumors.

He notices Jaemin as he spots Jeno from across the room, by the way Jaemin is walking towards them he can tell that he was looking for Jeno himself, clearly unhappy and very confused where he found him. He glances back at the entrance for a split second before looking towards the direction that his two friends had gone off in, only to see them walking back towards him, just as confused as Jaemin is. He can see the concern rise in Renjun once he sees who Donghyuck is with, as he grabs Chenle's arm to drag him across the makeshift dance floor that their school has created, where Chenle had decided to stop to talk to a few friends.

He looks back towards the entrance and to his luck he sees you and Jisung walk in. Thankful, he lets out a sigh of relief because he sees that you're here and that you're safe. He notices the smile that you have on your face and though he was a bit far away he can tell it's a genuine smile, like one of the one's you would show him when it was just you two hanging out. "I guess I worried for nothing." He thinks to himself, as he watches you two skip in, hands intertwined.

And amongst all this commotion happening at once, his ex, out of all people had to come up to him and ask him a question he knew he wouldn't be able to answer. So what does he do? He panics, of course.

"Oh my fucking god.." Donghyuck mumbles to no one in particular. Jeno seems to hear it but he doesn't process it because he's too busy being dragged by Donghyuck who was attempting to blend in with the big group of people who happened to pass by.

When Renjun, Chenle, and Jaemin end up where Donghyuck and Jeno were previously standing they're left more confused on where the two went. Though it's loud, Donghyuck manages to pick out Renjun's voice yell "What the fuck?" over a crowd of teenagers.

Donghyuck smiles to himself, knowing that he successfully got away. He didn't think it'd work, he'd only seen it in movies before and you know what people say, it's just movie magic after all.

"Where are we going?" Jeno asks innocently.

"Outside." Donghyuck responds, leading their way towards the "exit" sign on the other side of the gymnasium.

"Why?" Jeno asks once more, and Donghyuck turns around just to shoot him a glare.

"So no one. fucking. sees us." He grits through his teeth.

Needless to say, Jeno doesn't ask any more questions after that.

"Where is everyone?" You ask Jisung through the fit of giggles you let out.

"I dunno. Jeno isn't answering his phone so I'll call Jaemin, yeah?" He responds, just as giddy as you are.

"Oh, I was talking about Renjun, Chenle, and Hyuck."

"You can hang with us for a bit!" Jisung insists.

"I know but I haven't seen them all day." You pout. "I'll hang out with you after!! Besides, they're my best friends after all. How would you feel if I took you away from Jeno and Jaemin?"

"My dear you're allowed to do that any day of the week. I like you better than them anyways." He teases.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant." You snort. "Can we just go find them please?"

"Yeah, hold on- Hi Jaemin!" Jisung says through his phone. "What? Sorry.. I can't really hear you. Is that Renjun? Why is he yelling at you?"

Your ears perk up hearing the name of your friend leave Jisung's mouth. "Renjun?" You ask, looking at him curious. "Are they okay?"

Jisung nods at you while trying to hear what Jaemin has to say, it's hard considering the fact that there's not only loud music coming from his phone speakers but the voice of an angry boy as well, and to add onto that, the same music being played just a couple feet away from you.

Pouting, you look at him. Jisung can tell you're worried about your friends by the way that your pupils shake as he pulls you into another tight hug, hoping to ease a bit of the worry.

From then you can kind of make out the conversation on the phone, it's something about Jeno and Donghyuck being together then suddenly disappearing out of thin air, like a magic trick.

"Where are you?" Jisung asks.

"We're in one of the back corners." Jaemin yells through his phone. "The uhh.. One on the right, your left."

"Okay. We're on our way." Jisung says before hanging up.

"I guess our night of fun had to end somewhere." He tells you before you two head further into the gymnasium to meet up with your friends.

Once you meet up with the three boys you're greeted with a hug from Chenle while you watch as Renjun and Jaemin argue.

"So they were right here?" You ask tapping Renjun's shoulder.

"Yeah. And then all of a sudden they disappeared." He says, quite frantically.

"Y'know worrying isn't going to do anything." Jaemin taunts.

"Yeah! And you making snarky comments doesn't help either!" Renjun shoots back.

"Can you two stop bickering a second?" Chenle snaps, surprising all of you. "We have no idea where the fuck they went and for the past five minutes all you two have done is argue? Why haven't we checked anywhere yet?"

"Because, Lele. They could be anywhere. We're in a room full of teenagers." Renjun states.

"For once, I agree with this one." Jaemin adds on, earning a glare from Renjun and a facepalm from Jisung.

"Okay? And? Have you ever thought about the fact that they could y'know, be outside?" Chenle asks.

"Why would they be outside?" You ask.

"Because it's loud in here, and it looked like they wanted to talk."

"So.." Jeno says, swinging his legs back and forth. He was currently seated on top of one of the picnic tables your school had, while Donghyuck was standing across from him, leaning against the corner of a wall.

"You said you would explain, so explain." Donghyuck states.

Jeno takes a deep breath as he stops swinging his legs, he looks at the ground before looking up towards Donghyuck who was already looking at him, clearly annoyed at the fact that Jeno was stalling.

"It was a dare." He starts, before Donghyuck cuts him off.

"Yes I know. We all know." He spits.

"But theres more." Jeno says once again. "As you know, Jisung dared me to ask you out and me, being the asshole I was back then, I agreed and decided to do so.." He pauses for a second. Trying to think of what to say next.

"Listen are you gonna keep stopping or are you going to tell the story?" Donghyuck comments, it's only been two minutes and he's already fed up with Jeno's bullshit.

"I am. I'm just trying to think about the right words to say."

"Why? So that I can fall back in love with you?"

"No, Hyuckie-"

"I said, don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because Jeno!" Donghyuck yells, voice cracking as he tries to control the same tears from earlier from falling. "I am still in love with you! Each time I hear you say that stupid nickname my heart does leaps and I can't fucking stop it!"

His voice is loud enough for you to figure out where he is, and while the other students outside look around trying to find out what's going on, both you and Renjun take off running towards the sound of Donghyuck's voice.

Arriving in time to hear Donghyuck finish the last words of his sentence he can't tell if he's hurt or if he's relieved to see you. A sense of relief washes over him once he spots you, Renjun, and Chenle running in his direction. But then he sees Jisung and Jaemin, not that far behind you three, and he feels hurt, betrayed to say the most.

"So this is why you asked me, huh?" He scoffs, looking at Jeno with glossy eyes. "So you and your friends can get a little more enjoyment of my misery."

"Hyuckie- I-" Jeno starts.

"Save it. I don't ever want to hear from you again, Jeno. I can't believe I even believed you would tell me the truth."

Nothing more is said as Donghyuck walks away from all of you, and Jaemin and Jisung run towards Jeno. It's quiet, despite there being the sounds of the muffled music that's only being played from a hallway away, it feels like a horror movie with the unsettling silence between all of you.

Renjun is the first one to talk. His voice not only startles you, but grabs the attention of Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin who happened to be a few feet in front of you.

"What the fuck happened?" He asks, looking at Jeno in the eye.

"I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry.. and that I missed things the way they were.." Jeno says, voice barely above a whisper.

Both you and Chenle can tell that Renjun is about to start yelling and if someone doesn't stop him now then fists will be thrown. Renjun is about to start talking again when Chenle interupts him.

"Junnie." He says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's not worth it. Let's just go find Hyuck, okay?" He eases.

Renjun takes a second to sigh and relaxes before deciding to head off with Chenle, he know's it'll only make things worse but he really wants to tell the three boys off and possibly throw a punch or two. "It's okay.." Chenle coos at him.

"Y/n, are you coming?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Just give me a second. I'll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Just text me where you are." You say quickly before glancing over at Jeno and his crew.

Chenle looks at you, confused on why you were looking at Jeno. It only takes him a second to realize what you were doing before he walks off with a hesitant nod. "Um.. Okay.. Just uh, don't be long. I know Hyuck wanted to see you."

"Thanks Lele. You're the best." You say, before talking off towards Jeno.

"Lee Jeno." You state, standing where Donghyuck previously was. You earn a few glances from Jisung and Jaemin, ask if they were asking each other why you were here and how long you've been there. It's not because they were doing anything bad or wrong, it's because of the fact that they were caught being nice and genuine to one of their friends, something that barely anyone has seen before.

"Y/n." Jeno sniffs, trying his best to wipe away the tears that had managed to leak out. "What are- What are you doing here?"

"Save it." You say, walking towards him. You push Jaemin away as you take a seat on top of the table next to him. It earns you a glare from Jaemin, but you shrug it off and ignore him once he start's complaining that you stole his spot.

"Just- Just tell me everything." You sigh, awaiting a response from the boy next to you.

Jaemin shoots you another look before Jisung walks away with him, knowing this should be a private conversation. They don't go far though, just out of earshot.

"This is my fault." He starts. "If I just continued letting him hate me, then I wouldn't have hurt him like that.."

"It's not your fault, you just wanted to explain things. Do you want to tell me what you were going to tell him? Or is that too personal?" You ask.

Jeno is hesitant to answer. His first initial thought is no, but as the seconds go by his answer changes to yes.

"Start from the top. What happened?" You ask.

You're gentle, and being patient with him. It's something that he's thankful for. It's also something that reminds him of Donghyuck, because whenever the two of them had disagreements Donghyuck would always wait for Jeno to explain, this was the first time he hadn't.

"Okay well.." Jeno sniffs. "If you didn't already know.. Donghyuck and I used to date. Our relationship started off from a dare but as our months together passed by I began to enjoy his company a little bit more. I don't know what it was, and if you asked me I wouldn't be able to tell you but there was just something about him that I ended up liking. Maybe it's the way that his hair flopped on his face each time he ran up to me, or maybe it's because of how tightly he hugged me and how gentle his kisses were, but it was something." He pauses for a second, reliving through a few memories. "I ended up catching feelings.. and as soon as I figured out that I did, he found out how we got together."

"Oh." You sigh, not looking at him.

"I was going to tell him that I meant everything I told him.. All the 'I love you's' and the 'You look beautiful's' but he just wouldn't let me talk.. And then you guys came and that just- that only made things worse.. and now- god.. now he's gone. He said he never wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry, Jeno. It's my fault." You say softly, taking all the blame. "I'm the one who brought everyone here, if it weren't for me then you probably would be talking to him right now."

"It's okay." He reassures. "It's not your fault.. You just wanted to help your friend. I'm sure it would've gone poorly even if you weren't here."

"I doubt that's true."

"Are you kidding me y/n? He hates me! And he the worst part of it is that he has every right to do so.."

"I didn't know people who hated each other confess to each other about still liking one another." You joke, hoping to earn a laugh from Jeno. "Besides, it's not like you won't see each other again. You still have time to make things better, plus you have me on your side."

"My side?" Jeno asks.

"Well yeah. You still like him don't you?"

Jeno sighs, he's lucky you aren't paying that much attention to him because if you did you would've noticed the way he looked at Jisung and how it hurt him more to let you keep going on like this. Nonetheless he lets it happen and he wonders if he really does deserve your help.

"You're too good, y/n."

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ask-the-clergy-bc · 4 years ago

Note

Heya! I'm so excited that your submissions are open again, can't wait to see what you put out! Could I request the Papa's having a SO with auditory processing disorder please? Thank you~!

Aaaah thank you for such kind words!! It definitely feels so good to have the writing bug back again! Hope you enjoy!

For the usual disclaimer with subjects such as these, I tried to write for a broad variety of symptoms and experiences, so this won’t be just one type of APD experience. I also included some that are comorbid to other conditions (as that is where I have the most first hand knowledge of), I hope that is ok! <3 But, I always appreciate feedback so I can better write! :)

The Papas with an S/O with an Central Auditory Processing Disorder

Papa Nihil: While he knows that it is not the same condition, Nihil understands the frustration it can bring. His hearing hasn’t been well since the sixties, when he destroyed it singing for his band! (Nihil always laments about how he wishes hearing protectors were more common back then!) Nihil sometimes can’t hear too well when his ears are acting up, and has to have things repeated to him constantly. So the first time you apologize for making him repeat himself he waves it off. Nihil rather have someone ask to repeat something a million times to understand what he’s saying than to have them half listen and not care. If you need anything repeated, then he will repeat it as much as you need! After all, he would expect the same courtesy from you! Other than that? This never phases him, as you are still you and he has to reason to give it mind.

Papa I: One aspect of Papa that surprised you is how quickly he catches on to your condition. Normally, you find yourself having to have a five minute discussion on why “you can’t hear”, which can be so draining! But Papa understood what you were describing almost perfectly when you brought it up the first time. Papa was quick to asked what you would like him to do and he immediately implemented it. As a talented orator and linguist you both have worked for a way that helps you the best when you need. Papa never minds repeating or rewording himself, and even annunciates more clearly when he’s not paying attention. The biggest thing you have come to appreciate is that he doesn’t act exasperated or roll his eyes when you need something repeated, especially if you can’t grasp a specific single word (something you’ve unfortunately encountered with the impatient and rude before.) When you express this to him he shakes his head at how apathetic others are.

Papa II: Many are quick to assume he loses his patience with you, as he has a reputation for being short with “incompetent idiots” he has worked with. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth! Papa has rolled his eyes at the very idea, because he would never treat your disorder like it’s the same as being lazy or uncaring (actually, he might punch anyone who implies that!) Papa is happy to do whatever it is you need him to do when the time comes. Lately, and rather unspokenly between you two, Papa just patiently sits when he waits for a response from you during a conversation. Sometimes it just takes you a minute to think about what he has said and form the right words before you reply. In the past this has made you anxious, but you’ve felt comfortable with him. Often you two will talk only for you to respond with, “what?” before suddenly processing everything he has said perfectly. The only time Papa will acknowledge your CAPD is if someone is being incredibly rude and you give him the go ahead to kick their teeth in!

Papa III: Papa, admittedly, can have his own bad days with audio processing. Being a man with probable undiagnosed ADHD, he has had time to adapt and press through days he cannot hear... but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own bad days! Most of the time Papa finds it funny when you both get stuck in a “what did you say?” loop! Sometimes you misunderstand what he’s said, and when you ask, he complete misunderstands you right back! There have been days when you both have had to stop whole conversations and back track. Papa knows he doesn’t help when he gets excited and talks a mile a minute. You rarely mind, but he hates the idea of you not enjoying a conversation you are having difficulty following! Papa has learned to talk more slowly and thoughtfully (not because you are daft, but so he himself also has time to process what he is saying.) you both are wonderful supports for each other!

Papa IV/Copia: Copia from the beginning knows about your auditory processing difficulties. It’s something you had no problem being open and straightforward about, as you like to inform your loved ones because it makes conversations easier for you! Copia always tries to be mindful of this! You’ve been able to work through it yourself with minimal help, but sometimes background sound really makes it difficult for you to process. While this isn’t always avoidable, Copia does his damndest to help! When you both have important discussions he tries to keep it during times it is quiet and you two can hear- away from crowds or loud areas. Copia is always mindful to turn off music or television when it helps- as you’ve asked him to do so on days where you find it harder to hear than normal. At the end of the day, he just wants to be accommodating and for you to know he takes you seriously without babying you.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #Ghost headcanon #reader insert #capd #central auditory processing disorder #papa nihil #papa emeritus i #Papa Emeritus II #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia

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bastillewolf · 5 years ago

Text

Midnight In Sheffield (IV)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: When a soon-to-be-wedded insomniac author heads back home to visit her parents, she comes across the likes of a mysterious musician whilst on her sleepless escapade in the AM.

Notes: So, since I’m posting this one quite late on a Sunday night, maybe we’ll call the schedule day Midnight In Sheffield Mondays? I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

@alexbandguy86 @bettyschwallocksyee @fookingsummertime @juicebox-baby@darksydork7 @edgythought @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo

Chapter IV - I Want It All

Isn’t this nice?” Mark asked. “I can’t remember the last time we went out for lunch with just the two of us.”

She nodded, feeling a bit calmer since she’d woken up after getting a decent night’s rest, even if it was a bit shorter. She’d gotten back not a minute late last night, for Mark had arrived when she was about to cover herself under the bedsheets, asking what she was still doing up. It ended with her in tears, mostly because of the pure confusion the day had brought her, but also because she’d felt like she needed it.

It was apparent that Mark was feeling a bit concerned, and was doing his best attempt to cheer her up a bit.

“I had an idea, please hear me out for a bit,” he started.

She pulled up her nose, because whenever he said those words, they were usually followed by some notion she wouldn’t like.

“What if we got married at the church back home?”

She paused. Not what she had expected, but certainly not something she favoured. “I thought we were going to get married in France?”

“I know, but… James and Rachel just told me they wouldn’t be able to make it around the time we’d planned to have it. If we just got married at home, I’m sure that would work out better for a lot of people on the guest list.”

“Mark, we’ve discussed this, and the invitations are already printed. If James and Rachel don’t think our wedding is important enough to make time for it, then I suppose they’re not coming.”

“Sweetheart, you know how much they’d want to come. It’s just…”

“What? Spit it out, will you?”

“I’m afraid my parents might get the wrong idea with us getting married in France.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, they think it’s a bit dramatic, for starters. And they know how much you enjoy it there; their guess is that you might want to stay there forever after all is said and done.”

She gave him a look. “So, your parents are afraid I’m going to chain you to a tree in a French vineyard so they can’t ever see you again? Do they think I’m drugging you into agreeing to everything I do?”

He huffed in amusement. “No, sweetheart. But they… they just want to make sure this marriage is going to work. And the first step in their eyes would be to hold a wedding at home. Think of it as nothing more than insurance that you’ll have a pleasant day with your family-in-law.”

“And I wouldn’t have that in France?”

“You’ll most likely be met with the sour faces of both my mother and my sister. And you haven’t even encountered my aunt’s death glare yet. That one’s a real deal-breaker.”

She sighed, fumbling with her hands in her lap. Her engagement ring was starting to feel incredibly heavy, as if the diamond had multiplied its amount of carats.

She had tea with her mum later that day. Her dad was off to work.

“I… Uh, I don’t think we’ll be holding the wedding in France after all.”

Her mother lifted her chin to meet her eyes, gently setting her teacup back on its saucer. “And why is that?”

“Well, you know. I think it would be a lot easier for people to get to the venue because of work and all that. They wouldn’t have to go through all the traveling business, and it would save me and Mark quite a bit of money.”

Her mother hummed in response, but the look she gave her was critical. “I don’t think I remember ever hearing you talk about other people’s expense when you were little and showed me your wedding plans in your binder. That girl would tell everyone to sod off if they couldn’t make time for her special day, let alone think about saving money.”

She didn’t know how to respond.

“Darling, I love you. I would travel the world and back if it meant seeing you walk down the aisle. Please don’t let anyone ruin the dreams you have. I raised you better than that.”

It was nearing midnight, and Alex had lit himself a cigarette in front of the old church. It was going to be a quiet one, due to the fact that Monday was the only day of the week the pub was closed. That didn’t mean the lads wouldn’t go out, but the singer just didn’t feel like it for some reason.

A few ladies dressed in shimmery dresses with feathers in their hair walked past him and sent a wink his way, but he barely paid them any mind. His mind was elsewhere, and the empty alleyway he walked through next was illuminated only by the stars and the moon, which shone like fireballs in the dark blue abyss.

He wandered back into a main street, but it was quiet there, too.

Until he heard the muffled noises coming from a figure hunched against one of the streetlights.

It was a girl, obviously, and she was crying. But it didn’t turn out to be just any girl.

His Arabella.

“Are you all right, love?” he asked. He’d crouched down next to her, attempting to move the hair soaked by her tears away from her face. He noticed she was shivering, and shrugged his jacket off, draping it over her shoulders. “I’m afraid the pawnshops are all closed by now. You’re going to have to find another way to get your money’s worth out of that engagement ring if you want to rid of it tonight.”

She sniffled a laugh, which he was pleased to receive from her. “I really don’t mean to show up crying every night. This is so embarrassing.”

Alex recalled Miles telling about the night you’d met. “Not embarrassing at all. Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head.

“Alright. Then let’s get you somewhere warmer. Also, I’m famished. Are you hungry?”

“Alphonse, how are you this evening?”

The bell had chimed as they’d walked into the small restaurant, and though the lights were dimmed, she could make out the quaint interior quite well. Round tables, probably meant for no more than two, with a small red tablecloth draped over a larger white one on each of them. They were adorned with clean sets of dinnerware, as well as a simple candle as a centrepiece.

There were grapevines hanging across the wooden beams across the ceiling, and the walls had various paintings of landscape upon them.

In the back of the room, sat the head chef, - she supposed, as he wore the biggest hat of them all – playing a game of cards with his employees.

“Not any worse than any other evening, mister Turner. How are you?” The chef called Alphonse replied heartily. She noted a hint of a French accent in his speech.

“Quite alright, as I’m surrounded by good company.”

“I see, and who might your lady friend be?”

She introduced herself politely, to which all of the cooks took their hats off.

“A friend of mister Turner’s is a friend of ours, Cherie.”

“I told you to call me Alex a long time ago,” came his protest. “Say, you wouldn’t have anything left sitting in the kitchen, would you?”

Alphonse chuckled as he stood, tucking his deck of cards in his shirt’s pocket after giving his fellow players a suspicious look. “I’ll see what we have left after your band of misfits came to raid the place.” He disappeared into the kitchen.

“I wouldn’t be complaining, if I were you. They’re your best customers, after all,” Alex called after him.

The chef grumbled something about empty pantries as he returned with a basket in hand. “And I advise you to take the lady out to dinner here at a more appropriate time instead of sneaking of into the night with a basket full of goodies.”

“Now, you know I never come here that early.”

It turns out he’d packed them an entire cheese platter, with bread, butter, and a nice bottle of wine to make the basket complete. The singer had been gallant enough to carry it and pour her a glass of wine as they walked, to a location he would not yet disclose.

“It seems like you’re known around these parts as a night owl,” she deducted.

He looked at her for a moment, and hummed as an invitation for her to continue.

“Is that just the way you go about? Or does it have a deeper meaning behind it all?”

“Doesn’t people’s behaviour always have a deeper meaning behind it?”

“I suppose so. Something you’re not willing to talk about, then?”

“Perhaps when you decide to tell me why I found you crying on the curb,” he replied curiously.

She smirked, “Well, I’m not sure what you were doing parading the streets, but you were walking, and then you found me. Coincidence, I suppose.”

He shot her a look. “You know what I mean.”

She sighed, but as she was figuring out the right words to say, it appeared that they had already reached their ‘secret location’.

It was a small square, tucked into the corner of town, with a big round fountain in the middle. Sculpted fish were spraying water onto the levels below, and the stream was a soothing noise against the silent street. The buildings surrounding it had their shutters closed, and the way they towered over the small space made it seem like they had walked into a private garden.

But the odd thing was, is that she recognized that fountain, very clearly.

“I…”

“Yes?” Alex asked.

“I… I thought they’d tore down that fountain when I was younger. The whole street, in fact.”

The man next to her seemed to tense. “Well, it seems not.”

“…It seems not.” She had kind of wanted to question him further on the matter, but as the pieces were slowly connecting in her head, she decided to wait until the conclusion she was drawing was entirely certain.

Alex set down the basket, and sat on the stone bench facing the sculpture. “So, how’s the wedding planning going?”

Just the thought of it made tears well up in her eyes again, which he quickly took notice of.

“All right, you could’ve just told me to fuck right off when I opened my mouth.”

She snorted, taking a seat next to him and reaching for a piece of bread. “I’m sorry. I just- That’s the exact thing that has gotten me riled up today.”

“How come?”

The genuine interest was refreshing to her, and it made her feel brave enough to continue. “Well, Mark just thought it would be best to change the venue’s location, since a lot of people would be coming and all that. I kind of ended up agreeing with him, taking into consideration that everyone needed to fly out to France for a singular day. But now my mum is disappointed that I’m not going through with my big wedding plans, and I’ve honestly been doubting every decision I’ve been making since the get-go.”

He nodded with his lips pursed in thought. “I think cheese solves a lot of problems.” He handed her a piece of Gouda. “But if I may ask, what do you want?”

She gave him a confused look.

“I’ve only heard you mention what your fiancée wants, and what your mother wants, and that you don’t want to disappoint either of them. But I haven’t heard you talk about your dream wedding yet. It’s like you care about everyone’s opinions except for your own. And it seems like Mark doesn’t care much for it, either.”

She opened her mouth in protest, “Of course Mark cares! He’s only thinking about practicality, and our future.”

Alex took a languid sip of his glass before replying. “Love, if you want to marry someone, practicality shouldn’t matter if it means you get to hold the wedding your sweetheart has always dreamed about.”

“I don’t need your judgement on my love life.”

“No, but you asked for it anyway. I can’t tell you what to do; it’s your life. All I’m going to say is, make it count. You’re not getting a second shot at it. If you want to go through the rigmarole of a big wedding with a guest list that never ends and a dress that blinds people with the amount of diamonds on it, then you should do it. Not because I told you so, but because you want to do it.”

She knew he was right, but was afraid to admit it. “I… I don’t want a big wedding.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want it to be private. Just family and friends. In a vineyard somewhere in France.”

He threw his hands up. “Then there you have it.”

“It’s not that easy, Alex. This isn’t all about me. Relationships call for compromise, not selfishness.”

He suddenly took her hand, and pulled her along the square until they’d reached the fountain. He took a coin out of his pocket, and held it out to her.

“What?”

He thrust his palm into her direction once more, but seemed quite reluctant to do so. “Take it, make a wish, and throw it into the fountain.”

“Alex-“

“Might as well give it a go. What do you have to lose?”

She sighed. Though reluctantly, she did as told, and closed her eyes. The slight ‘plop’ of the penny falling into the water was barely heard over the stream.

“You can thank me later,” Alex said.

But as he turned his back to her, she was feeling impulsive, and grabbed his shoulders and thrust him backwards.

This time, the splash was heard.

She clasped her hands in front of her mouth to keep herself from laughing at the drenched figure of Alex Turner, sitting awkwardly in a fountain. Oh, and how he looked absolutely pissed. Pissed was an understatement. He looked furious.

“You’re going to regret that.”

“Oh, am I-“

She shrieked, as two cold hands pulled her into the water with him.

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nikkithomas · 4 years ago

Text

Here’s the deal. I started having a lot of pain in my lower back, legs and hips. At first, I went to the chiropractor and he did some adjustments. I seriously felt so much better.

My regular doctor had prescribed some medicine for me for an unrelated thing and it made me so sick. I’d be so nauseous that I’d have to go get fresh air...walk it off...or even splash water on my face. That had been going on even when I was in Knoxville.

Aircheck had asked me to talk about my ACM trip to Vegas when we won in 2019. I’m sure there were people who thought it was funny or maybe even crass...but they asked what I thought or what was going through my head at that ceremony...and I think my answer was something to the effect of “I was trying not to throw up” or something like that. My stomach was on fire and I felt so dizzy. My face was all flushed and hot. I thought about going to the ER there in Vegas...but I was afraid I’d miss the reason I was there...to pick up the ACM for our station. I think it was win number seven for the station...as a PD it was my third...and it was still a pretty big deal. Honest to God, I didn’t want to let anyone down. I also wasn’t sure if it was food poisoning or something. When I got back to Knoxville, went to my doctor...they ran tests...gave me some medicine...and I thought that was the end of it. They still couldn’t figure out what was going on with me, though.

I left Knoxville and moved to the Tri Cities. Best decision I’ve made in years, by the way. I truly love these people. They’ve done a phenomenal job of protecting their product and their people and I believe that’s why this station is still so healthy when many other legendary stations have suffered. The stress level dropped substantially. It’s amazing what can be accomplished when the station and the people are a priority. Which by the way...XBQ has been so much like KAT Country. It’s been everything I love about radio and thought I’d never experience again. These people couldn’t be farther apart...yet be so much alike. It’s a good thing.

The main thing bothering me then...was my back and legs. Kept having some really nasty pain. The pain was so intense sometimes that it made me nauseous. My face was flushed...I had a fever...then I didn’t have one. Maybe it was my weight? I was getting up to pee a lot at night. Only sleeping one or two hours in a stretch. It was all these things that I never put together.

I wanted to get healthy. Told my doctor I wasn’t going to take that medicine that made me feel so bad...just in case that was the problem. My endocrinologist was cool with that. I started the keto diet. Actually...I did keto up until right before Thanksgiving.

I was so happy. My thyroid is absolutely hateful...so losing weight is the hardest thing to do it seems. On keto...I dropped over 30 pounds. Wow! I thought that was great!! Everything felt better. My energy levels were up. I’d get up at 4am and wouldn’t stop until 11pm...and everything was good...until my hip, back and legs started hurting again. It was so bad one morning that the guys I work with called chiropractors for me. It was awful.

The pain had never really stopped...but at a certain point you just get used to the pain and move on as best you can. That’s what I did up until a few weeks ago. If you know me, you know that I love Toys For Tots, St Jude, Second Harvest, etc. We were out with the marines working on Toys For Tots and I ended up having to miss one day because I hurt so bad. Now for me...that’s bad.

It never let up. I’ve just pushed through and tried to “suck it up” since then. That was a couple of weeks before Christmas. Y’all I seriously thought it might be psychosomatic. Maybe it was all in my head. If it hurt...I’d try to stretch or move and work it out of my body...but that NEVER worked.

So...I go back to the chiropractor. Those guys were so good to me. They can electrocute me anytime they want. (All hail the TENS unit!!) That seemed to be working...and then we had a little bit of a COVID scare at work...(everyone is okay, thank goodness). Around that time...I was running a fever off and on. Low grade. There were some other things that weren’t feeling quite right...so...just to be safe...I got another COVID test and quarantined. Still...I felt like I was ALWAYS in pain. Sometimes it was so bad...I couldn’t move or do anything in any way to make it stop. It made me want to cry. It was embarrassing. It was frustrating because I couldn’t get it to let up. It got so bad that last Saturday I drove myself to the ER to get checked out.

Urgent Care said they couldn’t help because I needed “imaging”. Well...I got that imaging done folks. Turns out...I have a scary mass on my right ovary. It’s pretty huge.

I went in Saturday night...terrified of being around sick people...but it had to be done. The pain was so intense...that my blood pressure shot sky high...and my nose starting bleeding. The doctor ordered morphine, Norco and a CT scan.

The guy doing the scan was a travel nurse. He went from being pretty chatty to sort of quiet and reserved after the test. When they injected the dye into me...he was telling me it would hurt...and it was nothing compared to what I was feeling.

I woke up two hours after the scan to the doctor on call sitting next to my bed and looking sorta weird at me. She told me they’d received my test results and everything I’d said was right on the money.

The burning, pressure, aching, tension...all of it...was related to what she referred to as “not the biggest mass” she’d ever seen...but “one of the largest”. She was surprised I’d been walking around with this thing in me for God knows how long.

Now here’s where the story goes off the rails.

That doctor at Ballad mentioned the word “cancer” about nine times in that room. That was the “suspected” diagnosis. She said I needed to follow up and see another doctor because of what could be “cancer”...and told me they’d have to see if it had spread anywhere.

Now...that was a LOT to take in. So...I did what any other person with an iPhone, an unlimited data plan and tons of morphine in their system would do...I looked that crap up on “Dr Internet”.

The next time a nurse came in...I asked her...”Umm did you guys do a CA 125 test?”

That same poor sweet nurse, who would go on to blow a vein...and push the medicine through the IV into my skin, thereby causing a monster of a bruise and making my vein get rock hard...she said in this really hushed tone...”I don’t know...I’ll ask. I saw your report. I’m so sorry.”

At this point...I’m facing my mortality. I just wanted out of there. I wanted this damn thing out of me...I wanted answers...I wanted everything to be okay.

I still want everything to be okay.

By the way...she never came back in with the answer to that CA 125 test question. So I took that as a hard “no”...or “they did it and don’t want to tell me”.

Monday I was back in the ER. Doubled over, in tears.

The doctor ordered pain medicine...that never came in the four hours I was there. That was NOT a fun time. The nurses just let me sit there. To her credit...the doctor was pretty furious when she found out they’d ignored her orders. Once again...this other doctor looks at me and says...”You know they think this is cancer?”

No. Still no test...but she made an appointment for me with a local oncologist.

Now...that CA 125 antigen test is not infallible, nor is it the end-all-be-all test for ovarian cancer. It is a marker though specifically for ovarian cancer.

So if they’re telling you that you have a massive tumor and it could be cancer...(two doctors over two visits..the word has been dropped about a dozen times...it’s also in the CT report...you’d think someone would bust out a needle...draw the blood...see what that looks like...and get you in the right frame of mind in case it is this horrible bastard of a disease!! Right? Wrong.)

The mass at the time was 10.3cm x 10.3cm x 7.1cm.

The oncologist couldn’t see me for a week...the gynecologist couldn’t see me until February 1st.

Yeah. No big hurry. I’m just having trouble walking. I’m in tears. I’m peeing...like a teaspoon at a time. I know that’s graphic...but if you don’t pee...you need to get checked. I felt like I was (and still feel, by the way) in the middle of a massive labor pain that wouldn’t ease off. It’s pain that makes you want to throw up sometimes. It’s super intense.

I went home that second time...sat down in my room...and I couldn’t help but tear up. I’ve cried two and a half times over the “state of things” since this started. Those are the “what am I going to do” tears...totally different from the “oh Lord this hurts like hell...dear God make it stop” tears.

Talked to our friend Eric who told me it was a shame I didn’t live in Nashville...because I could probably call Vanderbilt and be seen pretty quickly. Eric...was right. I’m three hours from Vanderbilt...but only an hour or so from Knoxville.

I called UT. (Go Vols!) That football situation isn’t ideal...but that hospital ain’t half bad.

Within less than an hour...the head Oncologist had looked over my CT scan and was working to get me in there ASAP. They’d have taken me that day...but it was too late in the day and I’d never make it down there in time. So...they scheduled me for Wednesday morning.

Before I walked out of the room that morning...they told me they were going to operate and get this out of me by Monday at the very latest. The schedule was full...so they needed to check on a few things before I left the hospital...just in case there was torsion or whatever.

I had a CA 125 test. That looked good from what I understand but my CT scan and sonogram looked sketchy. The mass appeared to be even larger since Saturday?!? (It showed up as being 12.6cm x 13.3cm x 8.3cm) They gave me a COVID test and told me to self isolate until my surgery...which is scheduled for tomorrow.

It was upon learning how much larger this thing had become...that I named it...”Larry King”.

I don’t know why...but that seemed to be the name that fit whatever this thing is inside me. In my mind...it looks like Larry King...holding two shot glasses. One shot glass is filled with Dewar’s...the other is filled with Metamucil. He has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth...but I don’t know if he’s a “smoker” yet.

If it officially comes back as cancer...I’ll let you know. If it doesn’t...I’ll let you know that, too.

I’m not writing this for pity or attention...on the contrary. It’s all a lot for me to take in...and I’m just not sure how to process it all. Writing it out sort of helps.

In the middle of all of this over the past week...Tom Starr passed away. He was such a sweet man. There’s a picture that he took of us at CRS...it’s me...Tom...Lisa McKay and Heather Davis. I think Heather wrote a caption that said something like “it’s so hard to believe half of the people in this picture are gone”.

That was pretty heavy.

I’m still trying to process that actually. I thought the world of Tom, loved Lisa McKay (she got me when so many others didn’t)...and just to the left...there I was. I felt like a jerk for even taking a moment to feel bad for myself. There are so many other people who have it so much worse than I do. And what if there’s nothing to this thing? What if it’s just some sort freak thing? There are so many people who’ve fought so hard and powered through so much and here I am...maybe worried for nothing...getting ready to have surgery...and it feels wrong to worry about myself. Whatever is done is done and I’ll fight whatever I need to fight. If it’s not cancer (oh God please let them all be wrong) then I have a lot of things that I need to do...and other people’s opinions and judgment that don’t have any place in my head or the right to exist in my life’s body of work or otherwise. I’ll just keep praying for them.

I keep telling myself those doctors could be wrong. Until I see a pathology report...this isn’t real.

While I appreciate and am thankful for any prayers you can send up on my behalf...please don’t feel obliged to write anything on this post. Seriously. I just needed to get this all out and behind me.

I HATE “bleeding on the internet”. It’s a serious pet peeve. Not everyone is worthy of knowing everything that’s going on...nor should they be expected to care...but I realize sometimes people need reinforcement and support. I still don’t like sharing MY business on here. It feels weird. I’ll talk about things on the air...that I don’t care to regurgitate on Facebook.

I’ll talk about award shows, TV, things that are funny...pictures...but it’s not my business who you vote for or what you believe in. I’m just glad that you DO. Better to have convictions and purpose than be apathetic. Over the years...it’s been amazing to see how a simple picture I’ve posted or link (without even commenting on it...just a pic or simple URL) how it can make people lose their minds.

You will never solve life’s problems on Facebook or any other social media platform. It controls you. You/we are merely the peanut gallery from which billions of dollars are “mined” every single minute we’re on here.

The smartest thing I ever had laid on me about social media was from an interview with a Silicon Valley person that said “If you’re not creating the product...you ARE the product. Think about that.

Our world is so messed up right now. And no matter what party you’re affiliated with...it just seems very wrong to lump everyone together and vilify them all. Not everyone is evil. Not everyone is right or wrong. Writing people off is so inhumane. You really can disagree with someone and not hate them.

I remember being at a concert in a few years ago and had just learned some pretty tough stuff that was impacting a competitor, and shared that with one of the leaders that I worked with. They’d taken a huge blow...which was awesome strategically...but it happened at the same time the competitors PD had lost his mother. I remember expressing that I felt bad for the guy (specifically about losing his mother)...and without batting an eye...the guy I worked with said he didn’t feel sorry for him at all. “That’s just too bad!” He said other things but I won’t go there because that would reveal who that person is...and the person for whom he was speaking about that day. Now...in my heart I hoped that guy who up until then I’d had so much respect for...did NOT know what happened to this guys mom. It just felt gross talking to him. I never looked at him the same way again. It was all about depth. There was nothing there. Very disappointing. I once cared what this guy thought about me...but that was done. And living through this now underscores that feeling and reminds me on a personal level what really is important. That’s a lot for a workaholic like me to process.

I’m signing off now. It got sort of “ramblesque” there at the end. Sorry about that. As for all the other stuff...I’ll let you know how it all turns out.

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matsumi101 · 4 years ago

Note

For the promts, maybe 367 with Maria Reynolds, modern au?

367. “I didn’t think love existed until I started loving you”

Notes:

> Reader x Maria Reynolds Modern AU

> Anon i love u for this do u know how giddy i am when i wrote the last part hnngh

> Fem!Reader I hope u guys don’t mind some (not so) wholesome lesbeans

> WIFI ANG GOOGLE DOCS HAS BEEN AN ASS IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX THE ONESHOT BC IT KEPT GETTING PASTED OUT OF ORDER HNNGH

Type: fluff

Warnings: domestic abuse mention, implied sex

-------------------

“Your Honor, the members of the jury find the defendant... guilty.”

You gave a low whistle while the Judge gave the final words, putting up a hand to return your co-counsel’s high-five without even having to look at him. Your smug grin never left your face even after the court was adjourned, only breaking into a more hyper celebration once you were out of the building.

“Fuck yeah, we deserve to celebrate!”

You laughed in agreement. “I couldn’t have pulled this off without you, Alex,” you sighed. Alexander simpered, taking the compliment very well. “Well, what can I say? I’m always up for the challenging ones.” He shrugged his shoulders, pride oozing out of his presence. You couldn’t blame him, though. You were an excellent public attorney par with even Alexander Hamilton himself, but this case had you on your toes for months, even with Alexander’s help, and the outcome was well worth the sleepless nights you shared with your friend.

The topic returned to the celebration. “We should invite everyone to me and Eliza’s place and throw a party because damn we deserve it,” Alexander suggested. You hummed thoughtfully at his offer for a bit before responding. “I’d love that, but can we move that a little later? I wanna celebrate alone with Maria, first,” you pointed out. Alexander pulled an all too knowing smirk, to which you rolled your eyes at.

“I haven’t given her much attention ever since this case came, and I’m sure Eliza’s in the same situation. Our own partners deserve to be pampered after all of this, don’t you think?”

“My Eliza’s fine-”

“Hamilton.”

You crossed your arms and raised a brow at your friend. “Let Eliza share the victory with you, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to listen about how your hard work paid off,” you reasoned out. “And besides, it’s the closest I’ll get to apologizing for stealing you away from her for months.” Alexander laughed at that, getting your point. He pulled out his phone, most likely to share the great news to his fiancé.

“Let’s have the big celebration next weekend, yeah?”

You could tell from the eagerness in his voice that he was excited to come home and spend time with Eliza. “Perfect,” you agreed. You were about to bid farewell, but Alexander was already in call with Eliza and chatting away with unprecedented joy. You chuckled at him and went to your car, dialing a number while you started the engine. It rang a few times before it was picked up.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Washington! Is Maria Reynolds still at work?”

“Oh, Miss Y/N! It’s always a pleasure to talk to you.”

You smiled at this. Martha had always been a caring boss, which is why you recommended Maria to her business when she was looking for a new job. You placed your phone on the holder at the dashboard and set it to speaker while you pulled out of the parking lot. “Maria’s still here, why’d you ask?” Martha asked sweetly. Your smile grew into a more excited one, your plans already playing out in your mind.

“Well you see, I plan to surprise her tonight with her favorite food because I won what probably is my biggest case to date.” Martha gasped and gave you a quick congratulations. “But I still have to buy the things I need. Can you stall her for me? I just need an extra two hours.”

There was a thoughtful pause at the other end of the line. You took your eyes off the road for a split second to check if the call was still ongoing, which it was. “Dear, as romantic as your plan sounds, I don’t think Maria would like being cooped up here for so long,” Martha sighed. “She’s been stressed for the past months, and I don’t think she’s taking your disappearance so well lately, to top off the work she needs to finish today...” Your heart sank at the information. Yes, you were more than aware that you’d been neglecting Maria over the case, more than you’d like, and even if she was understanding enough that you needed to prioritize your slowly rising career, you knew there were unavoidable insecurities that followed her wake.

“I’m going to make it up to her,” you replied, voice steady. “I’m going to smother her with attention for the weeks to come ‘til she gets sick of me.”

Martha laughed heartily at your determination. “So please, can you help me out and give me two hours? I promise It’ll all be worth it,” you pleaded. It didn’t take as long for Martha to answer. “Okay, but I want to see Maria coming to work next Tuesday with an honest smile. I miss seeing her so positive.” You beamed gratefully, even though she couldn’t see it. “You’re giving her a long weekend off?” you asked almost too happily.

“Aside from letting her spend time with her favorite woman, I’m sure she deserves the rest for working so hard the past months.”

“Oh Martha, thank you so much! I owe you a lot.”

Any semblance of formalities melted away. “Oh dear, you know I’m a sucker for romantic gestures! I’ll make sure she tells me everything about your night when she gets back to work,” she teased. You giggled, excitement crawling up your body by the minute. You ended the call and finished your groceries as fast as you could, and by the time you got back to your shared apartment the sun was just starting to set. Perfect, you thought. You had more time than anticipated, but you were sure to utilize every second and got to work.

After a dragging day at work, Maria finally found her way back home. She was stuck in the office for a good two hours past her supposed time out due to Martha’s unexpected request to finish some extra paperwork. She would’ve declined it, but the offer of getting a paid day off in return was too good to miss out that even an extra hour long traffic didn’t stop her. She was far too exhausted, both mental and physical, to think of anything else but to crash into the soft sheets of her bed despite her empty stomach begging to be filled up. When she got to her apartment’s door, however, she couldn’t help but stop and look at it.

She didn’t know that today was the day you’d bring the case to the court one last time for a verdict, so all she expected was to come home to an empty apartment, and despite everything still in the same place it felt more barren the past few months. And yet, as she unlocked the door and flicked the lights on, she was greeted with not only a noticeably cleaner living room but also a delectable smell wafting through her nose. It caused her stomach to growl again, and with the new smell filling the place she dropped her bag and headed to the kitchen.

“You’re home!”

Maria’s eyes popped out at the sight. There you were in your sweatpants and loose shirt, sitting across the table with your hand resting atop your intertwined fingers. A large grin splayed across your face, which grew even wider at the sight of her. The table was set up with two plates, a bottle of wine and whiskey (a strange combo, Maria thought), about three dishes, and a bowl of soup accompanied by a smaller bowl of croutons. The food before her was definitely made presentable, and if Maria wasn’t too occupied gawking (and maybe drooling a little) she would’ve pointed out how your outfit didn’t even match up to the setting.

“We won the case,” you told her, your voice laced with softness and excitement.

Maria had to compose herself just enough to answer. “Really?” she squeaked out. She was happy beyond words, both for your success and you finally being there to greet her home for once and having done this seemingly large dinner after months of surviving on leftovers in the fridge and take-outs. You nodded, watching her expression with a smile, but it quickly dropped when you saw her starting to cry. Alarmed, you got off your seat and pulled her to a tight embrace, to which she eagerly returned, taking in the faint scent of the soap you used for your bath. You planted a long kiss on the crown of her head, and the gesture only seemed to make her cry more.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

And there she poured everything out. She missed coming home to your arms every night, but ever since the case you were always either gone in the office at work or holed up in the one at home. The thought made her disappointed, and maybe with a twinge of anger and paranoia, but she had to hold it back. She knew how much work meant to you, and she admired how passionate you were for it. She tried her best not to think too much of it, but the fear of you growing cold towards her scared her to no end, admitting that the effects of her past relationship with James was still affecting her.

You didn’t speak the whole time and let Maria vent it out until she reduced into quiet sobs. You kissed her forehead before pulling away from the hug so you could meet her eye to eye. “I know I’ve been so busy, which is why I’m going to make up for it,” you whispered soothingly. You cupped her face and gently wiped the tears away with your thumbs, and you could see a smile slowly grace her lips that made your heart melt. You then peppered her with short, sweet kisses all over her face, which made her giggle and squirm.

“I missed you so much, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, but I’m not going to let you have dinner with such an uncomfortable outfit.”

Maria followed your eyes to her office attire. “I drew you a hot bath just a few minutes ago, with lots of lavender from our mini garden,” you told her softly, pulling her by the waist and kissing her cheek. Gosh, you missed her so much. Maria sighed as you nuzzled your face on the crook of her neck, already imagining the beautiful smell of the bathroom awaiting her. Unfortunately, she had to pull away from the hug so she could actually get there.

After Maria took her time in a relaxing bath and changed to her own comfortable clothes, you two spent the night together, savoring the full course dinner you made with both of your favorite foods and hers, then surprising her with strawberry mousse, her favorite, for dessert. After that, and an empty bottle of wine, you two went to the couch to cuddle and watch a movie together. Though the film on the television was soon forgotten when you kept on showering Maria with kisses and compliments. Even if she asked you to stop since she genuinely wanted to watch the movie, you only replied to her with,

“Nah, I’m going to spoil you the whole weekend, and for the following weeks to come.”

And you did just that. Your attention was all on Maria day and night, and her heart could never feel so full at the sight of you. You took care of her and she took care of you, too. Of course you respected her boundaries and remained gentle with how you held her, but she knew that with you she was safe. Her initial fears of abandonment were soon thrown out the window. Maria trusted you more than ever, and you made sure to show her that she would never regret that choice.

Maria sighed wistfully, stroking your hair as she stared at the wall. The heavy drapes were drawn shut, preventing the moonlight from entering the dark bedroom. You were nestled on her bare chest, sleeping soundly while you had your arms wrapped protectively around her waist. A smile adorned your lips, and Maria took notice of it when she looked down at you.

You were at peace, contrast to the tired and frustrated expression you constantly seemed to wear while you were working the past months. Your breaths were slow and relaxed, making Maria hold a smile of her own as she studied your features. She brought a hand to your face, and you subconsciously leaned against her touch. She caressed your cheek with a thumb, her gaze trailing over to the bags under your eyes. Without your makeup, it looked much worse, but Maria didn’t care. She loved everything about you, even those eyebags that carried all the success you worked for, and she never felt luckier for having such a caring and passionate girlfriend as you.

“Oh Y/N,” Maria sighed for the nth time that night. “I didn’t think love existed until I started loving you.”

You barely stifled your amused chuckle, making Maria jump slightly at the vibration. “I’m glad to be the one to make you realize that,” you murmured, opening your eyes and ignoring the noise of surprise that she made when you let it be known that you were still awake. You shifted so that you could fully look at Maria. It was dark, but you could still make out her wide eyes that slowly softened. Her hand was still pressed to your face, so you put your own on top of it and moved to gently kiss her palm.

“And you deserve every bit of love, sweetheart.”

The way you said it so sincerely just made Maria absolutely melt, even more so when you pulled up to give her a long, tender kiss. Her hands wandered you, fingers trailing the marks she left on your skin before a hand made its way to your bare back while the other tangled on your already messy hair. When you backed away to breathe, you gave Maria one last peck on the lips before lying on her side and pulling her close.

“You know babe, seeing you like this makes me want to look forward to more of your difficult cases.” Maria laughed when you tiredly groaned in annoyance.

“No. If the next one is anything like the last I’m shoving it to either Alexander or Jefferson. I missed you too much.”

#hamilton #hamilton musical #reader insert #hamilton reader insert #maria reynolds #maria reynolds x reader #hamilton x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #my wifi has been an ass istg it's making the parts all messed up

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pookiesmcbride · 5 years ago

Text

*sorry this is very long but i have a bit of a finale headcanon at the end :)*

i’m almost 100% positive that caryl will have an important interaction in the finale. whether it’s canon or something close to it, we’ll get something good for them. the writers wouldn’t leave their relationship how it is right now and especially not when they have the excuse of putting a big caryl moment in a finale. those few seconds of weirdness when carol came back was supposed to be that way, bc we’re supposed to get this feeling that theyve got unfinished business between each other, that no, they’re not on good terms rn and it’s never rly been like this between them before- but it could never stay that way.

further proof that we’ll get something is that carol went back to ASZ to make things right with those she loves, bc “it’s never too late.” considering carol doesn’t open up to her fam much, if at all, kelly is a great first step in this direction. we need to remember that carol probably never opened up to Ed all those years bc it most likely ended in a beating. plus with tobin she wore a mask the entire time, and she never wanted to open up to ezekiel either, which was kinda the cause of their rise and their downfall. zeke never knew the “real carol”, so she was content to live this little fairytale bc she could ignore all these demons in her head. there’s a common theme with carol and wearing these masks, and ending up alone a lot, hence the mention of “lonewolf” from kelly.

IMO, the last person, if not the only person ever, that carol has actually opened up to is daryl. he’s the one person noticing that she’s not being herself, and thus the only one that is caring about that. in 10x14 i think carol realizes this fact. “i could never let that happen.” she knows how important daryl is to her and if she ever wants to get to her real, happy self in the future, she’s gotta go back to daryl and make sure he’s okay, and that their relationship is okay. he’s the only one that really truly knows her, and considering hes one of the first in carol’s life to be this person for her, it’s overwhelming.

the problem now is talking to him. she wants to, and i believe he wants to as well, but it’s carol who’s gotta make the move here. getting thru the nitty gritty with him is so much harder than kelly because she knows him so much better, and she has it engrained in her head that she’s ruined his future and their important bond from her actions, how do you even begin to talk about that ya know? any word i say could ruin this forever, wtf do i even say? she was crying even talking to kelly, with daryl her emotions will be tenfold.

daryls done everything he could to let her know he’s a safe space - and his frustration rn is that she’s still running and not wanting to take him up on his many offers to talk to him- but she needs to decide. talking to kelly is a good baby step to get this courage to talk to him. like oh, maybe all of this turmoil and hatred is coming from my own head, my fam doesn’t actually despise me as much as i think. daryl probably still does, but there’s a chance he may not, maybe i’ll go take the chance.

i’m not sure how this conversation will begin or the circumstances they’ll be in when they do this. (i do think tho that connie will be revealed as dead beforehand) . maybe carol will blurt it out when they’re pushing back a big horde or something, or maybe there’s a moment of quiet in the hospital and they’ll be sitting like they were when carol was hallucinating daryls speech about his dad. i have no idea. but i imagine they’ll say some things like this.

“daryl..do you wanna know why i asked you not to hate me? ive told you before that i cant lose you, but it’s more than just in death. so much more. you’re the person that could bring me back from this. sometimes i get really caught up in this shit but i always seem to come back to you and things get a little better. you don’t have to forgive me for what happened, please don’t. i deserve it. but i just... really need you with me. you’re the last one daryl.. the last one who knows me. i cant be alone with myself.

did anyone ever tell you about what happened to lizzie and mika? *proceeds to choke thru the story and how she’s being plagued by her kids all the time. i imagine daryl begins holding her thru this and she’s talking into his chest/shoulder* I’m a fucking monster daryl. i kill kids and anyone else who’s in my path. dont forgive me for what happened in that cave either. i hate that i didn’t listen to you. i didn’t listen to a word you said and now connies gone. *starts sobbing* you tried so hard for me and i just... ruined everything for you. the one girl you cared about, the future you were fighting for, daryl i’m just so sorry.”

*i imagine there being some silence as daryl lets carol get all her tears out. then daryl starts talking into her hair or something*

“you know you’re not a monster. the farthest thing from it carol. you’ve saved us more times than i can count on my hands, and that includes you killing lizzie. she could’ve hurt even more people, you did the right thing. and you even saved judith over there, look where she is now *points to judith takin a little nap across the room*

you’ve always got the best intentions. nothing you could do would push me away, you need to know that. what hurts the most is you always try to get away from everyone. from me. *looking into her eyes at this point* you think everyone hates you enough to be fine with you gone? carol i can’t lose you as much as you do me... and that’s terrifying. *chuckles* never realize i need you more than when you’re not here. never felt i needed anyone before i met you, honest. *goes back to hugging her to his chest so he can get the courage to say this next part*

you were the first person i tried to find when that cave collapsed. i stayed put in those woods a few days ago waiting, just staring into the dark for you to come back to us. the reason i fought so hard for you to fight for a future is that i wanted you to be here for mine. you’re the only one i can see clearly in it, and if you were dead... god i dunno where i’d be. but you’re the girl i care about. connie was a great friend, but i really just need you. i just... please stay.”

*then i imagine carol carefully moving away from his chest with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile, she wipes his tears a bit and keeps her hand there. they stare at each other for a quick sec then look at each other’s lips, slowly moving in then BOOM cockblock from something and now we have to wait until s11*

sorry this ended up being vv long all in all I HAVE HOPE OK hope y’all are staying healthy and hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for this beauty🥺

#caryl #caryl positivity #idk how to make text under a cover #so deal with the scrolling if u dont wanna read dammit #love them w my whole ass heart

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unravelling-the-world · 4 years ago

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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