#big thank you as always to all those who have contributed!! I'm having a lot of fun putting this together

[ranchthoughts]

Another Update on the GMMTV Kissing Multiverse

Hello everyone! Back again with another update on the GMMTV Kissing Multiverse.

The first version is here, second version here.

EDIT: New update is here, the tag for future updates is here.

Rules

Must have visible lip to lip contact

Must be shown on screen in a GMMTV tv series (no kisses from ads, promotional content, etc.)

Breakdown by Show

I have analyzed 61 shows so far:

(full list in alt text)

Breakdown By Actor

I have analyzed 112 actors so far:

(full lists in alt text)

Results and Discussion

Most Kissing Pairs Per Show

The shows with the most different kissing pairs are:

Warp Effect (15 different pairs)

Friendzone (11 different pairs)

U-Prince (9 different pairs)

The Player and The Jungle (7 different pairs each)

Only Friends (5 different pairs)

Not Me and 3 Will Be Free have 4 each, then Mama Gogo, Moonlight Chicken, P.S. I Hate You, Theory of Love, and Three Gentlebros have 3 different kissing pairs each.

The Power of Jojo

As discovered in the first iteration, Jojo has an outsized impact on the number of kissing pairs.

He directed roughly 13% of all the shows analyzed but his shows contain about 33% of kisses present in the data set. Jojo also directed 4 of the top 6 shows with the most different kissing pairs (and 6 of the top 13).

The median number of "different kissing pairs per show" of a Jojo show is 6.0, compared to a median of only 1.8 "different kissing pairs per show" in non-Jojo shows.

(note: I am just looking at kissing pair iterations here not at unique kissing pairs, e.g., Phuwin/Pond are a pair in two shows (once in a Jojo show and once in a non-Jojo show), so they are counted twice.)

Most Kissing Partners

There has been a shift in the rankings... Welcome Joss to the top!

Top ranked are Joss with 10 different kissing partners, then Lee and Namtan with 9 different kissing partners each, then Ohm and Nanon with 7 each.

Next are Gigie and Singto with 6 kissing partners each, then Bright, Film, First, Fluke Pusit, Jan, Krist, Mild, New, and Off with 5 each. Finally, Drake, Fah, Neo, Plustor, Tay, and Win have 4 each.

The average number of kissing partners per actor is 2.3.

Most Kissing Partners in One Show

We have four people tied for "Most Kissing Partners in One Show," and they are from only two different shows. A round of applause for Plustor (4 different kissing partners in Friendzone) and for Fluke Pusit, Gigie, and New (each with 4 different kissing partners in Warp Effect)!

Honorable mentions to: Joss (3 in The Player AND 3 in 3 Will Be Free), Namtan (3 in The Player), Neo (3 in Only Friends), and Singto (3 in Friendzone).

Please note all of these shows are Jojo shows.

The Kiss Web

Behold... the Kiss Web:

I made this to better visualize the intertwined who-kisses-who situation going on. It's, uh... a lot.

I also made some fun visual breakdowns to help sort through the mess of the Web:

First image below highlights "kissing triangles" and "squares" (shout out to the 3 Will Be Free trio of Joss, Mild, and Tay; the Friendzone trio of Nat, Plustor, and Singto; and the Warp Effect triangle of Fluke Pusit, Gigie, and New and square of Fah, Gigie, Joong, and New, all of which were established over the course of one show each - yes these are all Jojo shows).

The second image highlights the reach of the top 5 kissers.

The third image shows the incredible kissing webs of Warp Effect (in red) and Friendzone (in blue), the two shows with the most kissing pairs.

Unique vs. Repeat Kissing Pairs

The vast majority of kissing pairs only occur once, in one show. There are 136 "unique" kissing pairs in the data set, with 128 (94%) only appearing once, in one show, and 8 (6%) pairs appearing at least twice.

The 8 pairs that appear in more than one show are:

Book/Force (in A Boss and A Babe, Enchante, and Only Friends)

Bright/Win (in 2gether and Still 2gether)

Dunk/Joong (in Hidden Agenda and Star In My Mind)

Earth/Mix (in A Tale of Thousand Stars, Cupid's Last Wish, and Moonlight Chicken)

Film/Gun (in Not Me and Three Gentlebros)

First/Khaotung (in The Eclipse and Only Friends)

Gun/Off (in Not Me and Theory of Love)

Louis/Neo (in The Eclipse and Fish Upon The Sky)

All these pairs, with the exception of Film/Gun, are BL branded pairs, which says something about the variety of the het GMMTV show world and about the structure of the BL system.

All in all, 99% of mixed gender pairs only appear once, in one show, compared to 88% of same gender pairs.

Same Gender vs. Mixed Gender Kissing Pairs

A change in the data! With all the new kisses we've gotten in, the balance has shifted. Of the 136 "unique" (non-repeated) kissing pairs, 59% are mixed gender pairs and 41% are same gender pairs.

Last time we were at 59% same gender kisses and 41% mixed gender kisses, but our sample includes more het shows now which explains the shift.

I dug into this a little further by looking at how many shows featured both same and mixed gender kissing pairs, and which shows featured only one or the other.

43% of the shows had only same gender kissing pairs, 39% of the shows had only mixed gender kissing pairs, and only 18% of shows featured both. All in all, a fairly even split.

I was curious so I did the math - about 34% of the 112 actors I looked at have only ever kissed someone of the same gender. Of that 34%, roughly 32% have kissed more than one person of the same gender (representing about 11% of the full sample).

And now, some burning questions...

Which of the GMMTV boys has kissed the most guys?

We have a five-way tie for first place: congrats to First, Fluke Pusit, Neo, Plustor, and Singto, with 4 men kissed each!

First kissed Gawin (Not Me), Khaotung (The Eclipse and Only Friends), Mix (Moonlight Chicken), and Ohm (The Shipper)

Fluke Pusit kissed Jay Jatuporn (Warp Effect), New (Warp Effect), Ohm Thipakorn (A Boss and A Babe), and Thor (Warp Effect)

Neo kissed Drake (Only Friends), Force (Only Friends), Louis (Fish Upon The Sky and The Eclipse), and Mark Pakin (Only Friends)

Plustor kissed AJ (Friendzone), Arm (Friendzone), Nat (Friendzone), and Singto (Friendzone) [he was very busy in Friendzone]

Singto kissed Krist (SOTUS), Nat (Friendzone), Ohm (HCTM), and Plustor (Friendzone)

Second place is a five-way tie between Earth, Gawin, Khaotung, Krist, and Ohm who have kissed 3 men each!

There are also 13 men who have kissed two men each: Chimon, Dunk, Force, Gun, Mek, Mix, Nat, New, Papang, Pawin, Phuwin, Pod, and Tay.

*Note: while First and Fluke Pusit appear together in The Shipper, and it gets verrrry close, they do not actually kiss.

Where does Only Friends stand so far?

Only Friends itself is at 5 kissing pairs so far, which is higher than average but only 5th place overall among shows. I believe it can claw its way up easily though (it only needs two more kissing pairs to catch 4th places The Jungle and The Player)!

First has had 5 kissing partners so far which means he's only 2 away from reaching the top 5 Kissers (Joss has 10 kissing partners, Lee and Namtan have 9 each, Nanon and Ohm have 7 each). Neo is at 4 kissing partners, so also within reach of the top if he puts some effort in. Khaotung is at 3 partners, so within reach of the upper echelon but maybe more of a stretch. Force and Mark Pakin are at a respectable 2 partners each so far but Book has only had one kissing partner so he is going to need to kiss a lot to make up some ground. Lookjun is at 2 so she has room to move too.

In terms of gay kisses, First and Neo are already at the top of the leader board with 4 men kissed each, while Khaotung sits in respectable second place with 3 men kissed. All three have a strong chance of moving up the standings (Neo is averaging 1 new kissing partner a week so let's see if that continues). Force has kissed two men so he is not far off either. Mark Pakin and Book have only kissed one man each and thus they are far down the leader board for GMMTV men who have kissed men, but I remain optimistic.

Contributing authors:

@airenyah, @alsoran, @alwaysthepessimist, various anons, @bengiyo, @burnsuncomet, @callipigio, @cangse-sanren, @catboykacchan, @catboyjosten, @catsundmaus, @chickenstrangers, @crowie, @dribs-and-drabbles, @ffirstkhao, @isaksbestpillow, @jeonghanurl, @kattahj, @kpinhiding, @lurkingshan, @maibpenrai, @maybeitdontmakesense, @nieves-de-sugui, @non-binarypal7, @sammie-lightwood-bane, @sollucets, @userneos, @theselightsareblinding, @tiistirtipii, @waitmyturtles, @williamrikers

Data visualization consultants: @chickenstrangers, @wen-kexing-apologist

Asked to be tagged: @blmpff

[chuwenjie]

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!

Text version of this post under the cut:

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.

Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.

The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.

There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.

I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.

If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.

I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.

Here come the thanks:

To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.

I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.

Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.

I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.

And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.

Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!

[morgana-larkin]

hi, I think I have a crazy and [loooong] prompt baskdjskkaka. From Melissa's line 'no women? nobody else?ever?'

The staff is reminiscing the little bickering a year ago or two about Janine's love life, only then the staff realize what has Mel said, that she's like into women too. Barb knows tho and Mr. J because ofc he knows everything what has happened in those hallways. So Ava, Janine and Jacob being themselves + Greg surprisingly, began to interrogate Mel about it and in some point she got tired of the constant questioning so she just admitted that she had a relationship with a woman before, particularly a teacher too at Abbott few years before the new teaching staff and principal arrived at the said school. She goes to describe the woman with a little smile on her face without realizing it, did not mention what happened saying they should take what she offers about her private life,the truth is, she still feel guilty of what has happened realizing she's wrong and it's too late. At that, she thought the staff will finally leave her alone but no, since she's single again after the failed proposal, they're like encouraging her to date and maybe try again with a woman. Ofc she declines, then one day Ava burst into the break room grinning, saying a new member of the district is around to help the school, but the top of the icing, as she quote, is she had finally found a match for Melissa not knowing who's r really is, then introduces r to the crew. And man, best believe Melissa almost threw herself out of the window when she sees the very woman she had a relationship before and apparently who she had managed to hurt that still haunts her at night, r is no different from the redhead as she is aslo shocked to see the woman, still there and stunning as ever, because last time they saw each other, the woman cursed that she doesn't think she can stay in a place where she knows r had lingered or stepped a foot with. So basically it's the queue for r to left Philly and never go back, but she's God's favorite and he decided to send her back to the very place she avoids the most. [The breakup is ugly, as it is a big misunderstanding, the redhead saw the other woman kissing, or rather being kissed by a man, against her will which she doesn't know since she became real irrational that point and didn't even listen to the plea of the other woman]

And bc of the weird and awkward reactions + interactions from the two women when they're in a room together, the staff slowly put 2 and 2 together that the new district member that has been sent to the school is the very woman who Mel had a past with.

That is so long I'm so sorry, I just need to let it all out or else I'm gonna combust

Anon it’s perfectly alright, let it all out. This took me so much longer to write and it’s just under 5,000 words😅. There’s so much fucking angst and as someone who hates seeing Melissa upset, I was literally glaring at myself for writing that Melissa is going through it. So I hope you enjoy it! As always not edited in the slightest!

As a side note I wanted to thank @janeyseymour for helping me out, I had no idea what former teachers do at all and she let me know a bunch of them!

Want You Back

Warnings: swearing, Melissa crying, smut

Words: 4.95k

“No women? Nobody else? Ever?” Melissa said 2 years ago.

“Wait, what did Melissa mean by that?” Janine asked Gregory and Jacob one day when they were walking into work and talking about the conversation they had in the library a couple years ago.

“I don’t know, but it is weird that her first instinct was to immediately ask about women first instead of men.” Jacob says, contributing to the conversation.

“Do I even want to know what you nerds are talking about?” Ava asked them.

“It’s about Melissa, from something she said 2 years ago.” Gregory said and Ava looked at them.

“Melissa has said a lot of things 2 years ago.” Ava said.

“It’s when we were in the library and I said that I’ve been dating my boyfriend since 8th grade and you all questioned it and Melissa said ‘no women’.” Janine explained to Ava and this caught her interest.

“Oh ya, I remember that. I say we question her.” Ava said but the trio stopped her.

“No, this is Melissa we’re talking about. She won’t tell us something about her life so easily.” Janine says.

“Good point, we could annoy her until she gives in.” Ava suggested.

“Maybe another plan where we don’t put our lives at risk.” Jacob says.

“Oh come on. Melissa likes us too much now to kill us.” Ava says proudly and they all look at her like she hit her head. “I did say now, 2 years ago she definitely would have killed us.”

“That’s true, but we can’t ask her multiple times in one go, it’ll have to be a couple to a few times a day.” Jacob says.

“Ok let’s start now.” Ava says, excited about this plan and heads towards the break room. Ava enters, drawing attention as usual with the trio in tow behind her. “Melissa, question.” Ava asks as she pours some coffee in a mug. Melissa glances up at her from her phone.

“What do you want Coleman?” Melissa asks and looks back to her phone, typing something.

Ava smiles at her as she pours an unnecessary amount of sugar in her coffee. “Have you ever dated a woman?” Ava asks and Melissa freezes.

She looks up from her phone, “what?” She asks.

“Have you ever dated a woman?” Ava repeats. Melissa looks at her and sees the trio looking at her waiting for a reply.

“It’s none of youse business who I have or haven’t dated.” She says and goes back to her phone.

The trio and Ava look at each other and smile a little. They have a feeling that Melissa actually might have dated a woman due to her freezing.

*At lunch*

“So you have dated a woman haven’t you?” Janine asks her at her table.

“I thought I told you this morning it’s none of your business.” She glares at her. Janine gets the hint and goes to her own table.

*after school*

“Melissa, we just want to know if you’ve dated a woman before.” Jacob tells her as they all leave the building together.

“Why do you want to know so badly?” Melissa asks them, annoyed.

“Because you never tell us anything about you.” Janine says.

“Ya we just want to get to know you better.” Gregory says.

Melissa rolls her eyes. “What brought this up all of a sudden?” She asks them.

“Well remember when Janine made us play that annoying game and write something about ourselves on a card and then we guess who it was.” Ava asks, earning a ‘heeeey’ from Janine for calling her game annoying.

“Vaguely.” Melissa says, very short with them right now.

“Well, after Janine said he’s only ever dated one guy since grade 8, your immediate response was ‘no women?’.” Ava says and Melissa looks at them.

Melissa then proceeds to walk to her car. “Like I said , none of youse business.” She says and reaches her car and turns to look at them. “So stop asking.” She says and gets in her car.

*the next morning*

The trio keep glancing over at Melissa. They want to ask but wondering if it’ll be dangerous to ask her.

“I feel you guys looking at me.” Melissa says looking at her phone, unimpressed by them. And at that Ava comes in.

“We just want to know the answer.” Jacob tells her.

Melissa sighs and turns around and glares at them. “Ok fine. Yes, I’ve dated a woman before, last one was a few years ago before youse started working here.” She told them and they all beam.

“Omg this is so exciting!” Janine squeals.

“I can’t believe you never told us you were bisexual.” Jacob says.

“What was she like?” Gregory says, and they all look at him then back to Melissa.

Melissa immediately starts thinking about you and she smiles. “She was a teacher here, she taught 3rd grade and left 4 years before you guys started.” She says pointing to Janine, Jacob and Ava. “She was beautiful and smart and brave. She was funny and sarcastic as well and able to keep up with my wit.” Melissa continues. And they all listen as Melissa describes you. And unknown to Melissa, she was smiling the entire time. The only thing Melissa refused to say was your name and why you broke up.

“Why don’t you want to say her name or why you broke up?” Ava says.

“How about youse people take what I give about my life and shut it.” Melissa says and turns back around to go on her phone. Barb looks at her concerned. Of course she knows what happened since she was there and knows how guilty Melissa feels about how it ended.

“Have you ever thought about dating again, specifically a woman?” Jacob says.

Melissa turns to look at him. “No, I’m not going through it again.” She says with a slight voice crack.

Of course none of them listen to her and keep on the lookout for a woman that’s Melissa’s type. And then one day, Ava does. She bursts into the break room, full grin on her face and immediately looks at Melissa then back to the full group, she thinks she found a match for Melissa. Melissa gets up to get herself a coffee and pours it into her mug.

“Hey nerds listen up! The school district sent us a vice principal to help out around the school and they’re paying for it.”

“Really?” Janine says.

“Yep, oh here she comes.” Ava says “and her name is y/n y/l/n.” She says as you enter.

Before anyone can say anything, the sound of a mug breaking is heard near the coffee machine. They all turn to see Melissa with her hand out, as she just dropped her favourite coffee mug full of coffee and it broke on the floor. She’s standing there looking at the new woman who entered in complete shock, completely unaware that she just dropped her mug. They all look towards you who’s looking at Melissa with an expression that can mirror Melissa’s.

“Melissa, r u ok?” Jacob says, and Melissa glances at him briefly before looking down at the floor.

“Uh, u-um y-ya ya, I’m fine, I’m just gonna let Mr Johnson know about the mess.” Melissa says and books it out of the room. A minute later Mr. Johnson appears and sees you , then shakes his head, muttering ‘this will be interesting’.

They all introduce themselves to you , except for Barb. Once the trio and Ava leave, you look at Barb then at your feet, not knowing what to say to her.

“It’s nice to see you again dear.” Barb says and you look up at her.

“I had no idea that Melissa was still working here. I also didn’t really have a choice, the district sent me saying this school needs a vice principal and I needed a job.” You tell her.

“It’s alright, I understand.” Is all she says.

“I-I’ll avoid Melissa as much as possible while I’m here, to avoid any drama as I’m sure she’ll do with me. So you don’t have to worry about that.” You tell her then leave.

After that Barb leaves the break room and goes to check on Melissa. And sure enough, just like she thought, Melissa is having a full on crisis in her classroom. Melissa is at her desk writing something harshly, then gets angry at her pen for not working properly then throws it across the room.

“You’re handling it better than I thought.” Barb says after she sees Melissa throw the pen. Melissa whips her head at Barb and looks at her with anger in her eyes that quickly turns to tears. Barb immediately goes and comforts her the best she could.

“I can’t believe after all these years, she’s here again.” Melissa says, crying into Barb’s shoulder during a hug.

“I know dear, I know.” Barb says, patting her back.

“I thought I’d never see her again, after 6 years I still feel guilty about what happened.” Melissa says, still crying.

*6 years ago*

You and Melissa were at a club, drinking. Celebrating the end of another school year.

“Hey Amore, can you go get us some more drinks?” Melissa asks you, as she got the previous ones.

“Of course beautiful.” You tell her and give her a quick kiss on the lips with a smile. You then get up and go to the bar to get some drinks. You order a drink for you and Melissa’s favourite drink, then a man comes up next to you as you're waiting, and starts chatting you up.

“Hey there pretty lady.” He says and you glance at him and sigh, you just ignore him.

After your drinks are done, the guy is still trying to talk to you. Before you can reach for your drinks, he gets up and goes behind you and kisses you, blocking any possible exit. The guy is twice your side, you try pushing him off but he wouldn’t budge.

Melissa is wondering what’s taking you so long as it’s been 5 minutes. She gets up and goes to the bar and sees you with a man’s tongue down your throat, pressed up against the bar and Melissa sees red. As soon as the guy gets away from you, you see Melissa standing there about 10 feet away, looking pissed. Melissa stomps over to you, grabs your wrist and drags you out of the club.

“WHAT THE HELL Y/N!!! WHY WERE YOU KISSING HIM!” She yells at you and you’re taken aback.

“Did you think I wanted him to kiss me?” You ask.

“Well it sure as hell didn’t look like you weren’t enjoying it!!!” She yells at you.

“Melissa I didn’t…” You try to explain what happened but she cuts you off.

“I don’t fucking care what lame ass excuse you’re about to give!!! I want you and your shit out of my house and nowhere near me again!!! In fact!! Why don’t you leave the fucking city! I don’t want to see you and your cheating face ever again!!!” She yells at you and then turns around to go to her car. You run up and grab her arm to try and get her to listen to you. She shoves your hand off of her and you try again. “Let go of my y/n!” She tries to shove your hand off of her again but you hold on.

“Please Melissa! Just listen to me!” You tell her with tears in your eyes. “He kissed me! I didn’t…” she doesn’t want to listen to you anymore and pushes you off of her and you stumble and fall back on the ground. You look at her full of hurt and tears. She just turns back around and walks to her car and drives away.

You end up staying at a friend's house for a few weeks. You end up telling the principal of Abbott Elementary that you quit and won’t be coming back, you get all your stuff from Melissa’s house when she told you she won’t be there so you can come pick it up. And after 2 months, you end up finding a place out of Philly and get a job at the school district. You feel hurt and abandoned by Melissa. Your friend told you to forget about her if she wasn’t willing to listen to what happened and fight for you. You left a note at her place, explaining what happened at the bar as she blocked your number after telling you when she won’t be there for a whole weekend to come get your stuff. You left her place with your things, completely heartbroken, you thought Melissa would be it for you but you guess you were wrong

Melissa on the other end wasn’t any better, when she got back from her weekend trip, she saw your note and read it. Full of tears in her eyes as she realised her mistake. She immediately unblocks your number and a bunch of messages you tried to send her appear. She read them all, she wanted to send you a message, saying she got your note and wanted to talk, and then she saw your last message.

You: I know you won’t get this Melissa but I’m really sorry about what happened. I’ll be changing my number today and moving out of Philly soon so you won’t see or hear from me again. Love, y/n.

She saw that the message was sent yesterday, she was too late. She has no idea where you are and no way of contacting you.

*back to present day*

“Melissa, what if this is your chance to fix that mistake?” Barb says. “You told me that if you got a chance to apologise then you would take it.”

“It’s been 6 years Barb, she’s probably moved on and doesn’t care about me anymore.” She tells her. Barb doesn’t push her anymore, knowing she needs time and space right now.

At lunch time, you finish talking to Janine in the break room and go to leave. At the same time Melissa is coming in and you walk into each other. You both stare at each other for a few seconds, not knowing what to do or say. You then walk around her and leave the break room. Melissa stands there for a few more seconds in shock. She then looks over at everyone and they’re staring at her confused about what just happened. Melissa doesn’t say anything, she just gets her lunch and eats in silence.

The second period after lunch, Melissa has a prep period as her kids are in art class. She’s marking some tests when you knock on her door. Melissa doesn’t look up as she’s finishing up marking a question.

“Just a sec.” She says.

“That’s fine, I can wait.” You say and Melissa freezes and looks up. “I’ll just sit in one of the students' chairs. I’m sure they won’t mind.” You say with a chuckle.

Melissa quickly finishes marking the question and then looks up at you. “Hi y/n” she says and you look at her.

“Hi Melissa, long time no see.” You tell her.

“Ya, 6 years.” She says, embarrassed.

“Barb told me what happened with the vending machine guy, sorry about that.” You tell her and she nods.

“Y/n was there something you wanted?” She says.

“I wanted to make sure that me being the vice principal here won’t cause any…conflicts.” You tell her.

Melissa freezes, she’s caught in between, she wants to say yes so that you’ll leave and she won’t have to feel guilty every time she sees you but a bigger part of her wants to say no, she missed you and it was nice seeing your face and smile again. Melissa knows what she has to do, she can’t be selfish but she can be careful.

“No I don’t see why it would.” And you look at her and Melissa feels the need to get it over with. “I mean I moved on and you moved on, the past is the past right?” She says and if she’s honest, it hurt her to say that to you.

You were in a similar spot. It hurt to hear her say that she’s moved on from you but what would you expect. It’s been 6 years and you guys ended badly and you assumed that more than likely she didn’t read your note, probably threw it out.

“Ya, we’ll keep it professional.”

“Ya professional, exactly.” She agreed and you got up.

“Oh I’m supposed to introduce myself to all the teachers and ask if there’s anything they need.” You tell. “I got to know the principal more and while she’s nicer than the one that was here when I was a teacher, this one also doesn’t do anything.” You say and she chuckles.

“Ya I have a feeling you’ll be doing most of the principal duties as well.” She says.

“Yep, more than likely. So was there anything you need? Paper? Glue sticks? Pens?” You ask her.

“No no, I think I’m good for now but I’ll let you know if that changes.” She says and you nod.

“Alright.” You say and go to leave then turn back around. “Btw love the rugs. Am I correct to assume you had something to do with that?”

Melissa smiles and puts her index finger over her lips “shh” she says and you smile and mime zipping your mouth. After you leave , Melissa looks at the doorway and sighs. “What I need is you.” She says quietly.

Over the next month, the trio and Ava slowly start to figure it out. You and Melissa barely are in the same room together, barely speak to each other, and when you do, it’s very awkward and uncomfortable. Then they see Melissa’s face when she sees you, full of guilt and sadness. And when you see Melissa, your face is full of hurt.

“Melissa, how do you know y/n?” Janine asks Melissa after a month of watching the awkwardness.

“She’s the vice principal, so we all know her.” Melissa says to them, the trio not convinced for a second and she doesn’t even believe it herself.

“Come on Melissa, it’s obvious you knew her before she got here.” Jacob says. “I mean you’re interactions with her are awkward and tense. And when she first got here you dropped your favourite mug. I mean the only reason I would act that way is if…’’ Jacob doesn’t finish it as he put it all together and he gasps. “Omg y/n is the woman you dated!” He squeals out and Melissa whips her head around in shock since he figured it out.

“How the hell did you figure it out!” Melissa says and immediately her eyes go wide and covers her mouth with her hand for accidentally confirming what he said.

“So wait he’s right? She’s the one you told us about?” Janine says and Melissa rubs her temple with her hands.

“Ok fine, yes he’s right. Y/n is the woman I dated 6 years ago. But it ended badly and I don’t want to talk about it any further.” Melissa says and then walks out of the break room.

“What’s the matter with Melissa?” Ava says as she enters. “She seems grumpier than usual, I just said hi to her and she told me to go to hell.”

“Y/n is the woman that Melissa dated 6 years ago.” Jacob says and Ava has a shocked expression.

“Omg really?” She says. “Barb, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because Ava, it’s not my secret to tell, it’s Melissa and y/n’s.” Barb says to her. “What I will tell you is Melissa feels guilty and is too afraid to apologise and y/n is too busy thinking that Melissa hates her. I’ve been trying to tell each of them to talk to each other but they’re both so stubborn.”

“Maybe we can trap them somewhere together and force them to talk to each other.” Ava suggests and they all agree, including Barb, that it’s not a bad idea.

“Ok but that requires a door that can lock from the outside and you can’t unlock it without a key from the inside.” Gregory says.

“I know just the place.” Mr Johnson says and they all turn to look at him on the other side of the room, not knowing he was there.

“You’re willing to help us with this?” Janine asks him.

“I was rooting for them 6 years ago when y/n was a teacher here.” He says and they look at him. Of course he knew, they honestly are not surprised at this point.

They put their plan into play, the next day during lunch they were gonna lock you two in the janitorial closet and Janine was gonna take Melissa’s kids with hers and go to the gym and then do a big art project in her classroom.

So when Melissa was going to get her kids, Janine asks Melissa if she could help her reach something from the Janitor closet and Mr Johnson went to ask you if you could help him with something in the closet. Melissa was grabbing the item when you walked in and then the door shut. You ran to it and tried to open it but it was locked.

“Did they just lock us in here?” You ask her. Melissa was too stunned to see you that she didn’t even realise what happened until you spoke.

“Ya I think they did.” She said.

“Why would they do that?” You ask her, annoyed.

“Probably for us to talk.” She says and you look at her.

“What is there for us to talk about? There’s absolutely nothing for us to talk about” You say and cross your arms.

“Actually there’s something. ” Melissa says and sits on one of the chairs that’s in there, while you sit on the other.

“What is it then?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath.

“6 years ago.” Is all she says but you understood.

“There’s nothing for us to talk about. You said it yourself, it’s in the past and we’ve both moved on.” You said and you look at her and she looks hurt. “What?”

“Have you really moved on?” She asked and you look at her.

“It doesn't matter, I know you moved on though. ”

“Ya a failed proposal is definitely not moving on.” she says.

“But you were in a serious enough relationship with him for him to propose.” You tell her and she looks down.

“Ya I guess so.” She gets her phone out to text Barb to come let them out and gets a reply back.

Barb: not until you talk to her.

Melissa: no, it’s too painful, please let us out.

Barb: I’m sorry Melissa but I know this was hurting you. Seeing her everyday is hurting you.

“They’re not gonna let us out anytime soon are they?” You ask her.

“I don’t think so.” She says and then looks at you. “I’m sorry.” She says.

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t lock us in here.” You say, totally missing what she was apologising for.

“That’s not what I’m apologising for.” She says and you look at her.

“Then what are you apologising for?”

“For 6 years ago, making a big mistake.”

“Wha-”

“I read your note.” She says, cutting you off. “I should have listened to you but I was just so angry that I couldn’t think.” She tells you and looks at you with guilt. “The real reason I said no to Gary is because I didn’t want to be with him because I still have feelings for you. And I felt so guilty about how I reacted and I unblocked your number when I got home after reading your note and read all the texts and I wanted to find you or contact you but I had no way of doing that.” And a few tears slip down her cheeks.

“I haven’t moved on, you know. I’ve forgiven you for that night but I haven’t gotten over you.” You say and Melissa is looking at you with wide puffy eyes. “I tried, I ended up living with a girlfriend for a year. But then she broke up with me when she wanted more and I didn’t. Said I was emotionally unavailable. Which I guess is true, you can’t develop big feelings for someone if your heart belongs to someone else.” You said and the look on Melissa’s face said it all.

“Who does your heart belong too?”

“You.” Melissa sucked in a breath. “When I saw you standing there in the break room after 6 years, I couldn’t believe it, and you still look beautiful and stunning.” She let out an airy laugh.

“You as well, you still look so damn beautiful. My heart belongs to you too.” Melissa then gets up and walks over to you and crouches next to you and holds your hand and you look down at her. “I want to be with you again, if you’ll have me.” She says and you tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and smile at her.

“Of course, I want to be with you again too.” You said and Melissa beams. Then she gets up and leans in and kisses you. After 6 years Melissa finally felt back home again, like her lips are supposed to be on yours and no one else’s. You pull back after needing to breathe and you look at Melissa who’s smiling at you.

“You know I don’t think they’ll let us out until it’s the end of the day. So we still got… 2 and a half hours.” Melissa says, looking at her phone. You then get up and make her walk backwards and get her to sit on her chair and then straddle her lap.

“I think I want to know how to spend that time.” You tell her with a smile then go to kiss her again.

Melissa kisses you back passionately with her hands in your hair and yours are on her hips. Melissa’s hands travel down your body and land on your chest. She then puts her hands under your shirt and cups your boobs and you moan into the kiss. She then moves her lips down to your neck and starts sucking on it and you gasp before placing your mouth on her shoulder to muffle your sounds. Melissa giggles at your actions before unclipping your bra and lifts your shirt so she can put her lips around your nipples. You try to move your body so you can grind her leg but Melissa keeps you where you are and you whine.

“Patience, I don’t want to waste you on my leg.” She tells you and flips you both so you’re the one on the chair and removes your pants and underwear. She then immediately dives down and licks your pussy and you cover your mouth with your arm to muffle your moan. Melissa then puts her tongue in your entrance and begins tongue fucking you and you bite down on your arm as it feels so good.

Melissa tastes you again after years and thinks of how you still taste so good. She moans and it vibrates on your entrance and you gasp. She moves her tongue out of your entrance and goes for your clit and sucks on it. You’re moaning into your arm like crazy right now as Melissa is fucking magical with her tongue.

Melissa looks at you trying your best to muffle your sounds and gets up and kisses you. While kissing you, she slips a finger into your entrance and a thumb to your clit and you clutch her hair. She slips another finger in and pushes them in and out of you quickly while rubbing your clit. It doesn’t take long until you’re shaking and Melissa knows you’re about to come.

“Go on Tesoro, come for me.” Melissa whispers into your ear and then goes right back to kissing you just in time for you to come. “As soon as they let us out of this closet, I’m taking you to my place. I’ll cook us something and then it’s to my bed. How does that sound?” Melissa asks you after removing her fingers out of you.

“I like the sound of that.” You tell her, trying to catch your breath. “I honestly miss your cooking, and your body.” You say and she smiles as she kisses you again. She helps you get dressed after kissing you and then she sits down on the floor with you curled up on her.

And that’s how the Abbott crew finds them after they go to unlock the door after the students leave. They unlock it and see you on Melissa with her hands wrapped protectively around you and they all have their mouths open in shock.

“Oh finally.” Melissa says and you get off of her and help her up. “Come on.” She tells you and grabs your hand and begins sprinting out of there and you’re both giggling.

“Was that a hickey on y/n’s neck?” Janine says and they all look at her then back at you two running out of the building.

And when the two of you get to her place, Melissa keeps her word of making a meal then spending the rest of the evening in her bed.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

If you want to be added then let me know!

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Ransom Drysdale

Summary: Your laptop needs repair and you're at risk of embarrassing yourself and the company in front of some very big investors.

Warnings: Ransom kinda being an ass. Let me know if I missed any.

A/N: Reader is female. No other physical descriptors used.

A/N2: I know Thanksgiving (USA) is next week but who cares about accurate timing?

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Previous

"What the he--what is 'Friendsgiving'?" Ransom quickly stops himself from saying the minor curse. You've been nothing but friendly towards him and he's been trying his damnedest to return that, including not cursing around you because you don't like that kind of language.

"It's an alternative to Thanksgiving, for those of us who prefer friends to family," you answer. "We get together at someone's place and we each bring a dish to contribute to the meal. You can do the meal like a 'traditional' Thanksgiving, with all the food at the table, but I'm hosting so we're doing it potluck style!"

"Potluck style?"

You think for a few seconds before explaining. You've learned that Ransom definitely didn't have the average upbringing and that it's very much a sore spot for him so you've been working on how to explain things without sounding condescending. It's actually helped you out in your presentations and meetings.

"The basics of a potluck setup is that it's like one of those all-you-can-eat buffets, but with homemade food."

"Okay, I get that," Ransom nods. He's been grateful for your willingness to explain these kinds of things to him but he's learned that, if he doesn't acknowledge that he's understood what you said, you'll just continue to explain. "But I can't cook."

"That's okay," you assure. "Store bought stuff still works. The point of Friendsgiving is to have fun, not nitpick each other's contributions." Ransom huffs a little at that, thinking of all the Thanksgiving meals that devolved into fights about who's personal chef was better. "Seriously, my stuffing is always just Stove Top, from the box. You can just bring some cookies or a pie from the store and that'll work!"

"Thanks," he mumbles. He's fighting putting up his usual cold demeanor to hide the fact that he's ashamed at his lack of cooking skills. A part of him is pretty sure you're genuinely not judging him, but you can't undo decades of emotional abuse after just a couple years. Still, he's been trying and you've been very helpful in that. "So who else will be showing up?"

"If all goes well, Spitfire and a few other friends of mine, whom you haven't met yet." Ransom winces at that. "What? Do you not like them?"

"I...I don't think Spitfire likes me," he confesses. "I...it was stupid of me, I admit. I made fun of her size. She was standing right next to Walter and their difference in size was just really funny to me."

"And so you expressed that in a very rude way?"

"Yes," he grumbles.

"Well then you should send her an email to apologize and make sure to do so in person at Friendsgiving."

"Will she be bringing Walter along?"

"If all goes well," you smile. "So do not bring up the fact that I told you about the dunce cap, please!"

Ransom gives you a smug grin. "We'll see, Bubbles."

"Nooooo! Pretty please, Ransom?" You give him your best playful pout, knowing he can't keep a straight face every time you use it.

Sure enough, he laughs. "Okay, okay. I'll keep the secret. That's what friends do, right?"

"Thank you! Can I hug you?"

He winces, "I...I'm still not ready for that."

"That's okay," you're quick to reassure. "Just tell me when you are so I can give you a giant koala hug!"

He smiles, "thanks."

To say Ransom was overwhelmed would be an understatement. It's not even that there were a lot of people at the Friendsgiving (they were greatly outnumbered by the fall themed plushies you'd used to decorate). It's just...they were all having a good time. No one had started arguing. No one was threatening to call the lawyers. Everyone was having a good time. Ransom was very much out of his element here.

His one comfort, if you can call it that, was the biscoff cookies on the dessert table. He'd noticed no one else was really eating them so he took that as an okay to indulge as he needed them. Yes, they were a reminder of painful family gatherings, but at least it had some familiarity for him. Something to help him keep his metaphorical feet on the ground since he couldn't get his bearing among these friends of yours.

Even Spitfire and Walter were the most cordial he's ever seen them. It felt like he was in an alternative reality. Worse than that, it was a reality he'd known was possible and wanted for himself, but he felt so out of place in it. It hurt because what if he couldn't actually handle the reality he'd wanted? Did he make a mistake getting away from his family? His only real distraction was the biscoff cookies.

There were a few times Ransom had to excuse himself to step outside for some air. The brisk weather always helped him feel better. The cold winds always felt like a smack to the face that helped him regain his senses. He really needed that right now.

After the second time you excuse yourself and follow him outside. "Ransom?" you get his attention. "Are you okay?"

He's startled out of his deep breathing and he quickly shakes his head. "I'm okay. I'm okay. This is just different than I'm used to."

"If it's too much, if you need to leave, I'll understand."

"Did I say I wanted to leave?!" he snaps, making you flinch. He immediately drops his face, angry with himself for his outburst. You're just trying to help and he can't stop being an asshole.

"You're not the only one who had a bad family, you know." Ransom doesn't look up. "I went no contact with my own family. I'm guessing for very different reasons than you did. At least, I hope it was different reasons. You know I wasn't even allowed to attend public school because my parents knew it was a brainwashing government institution designed to get you to worship Satan?" Ransom huffs.

"Anyways," you continue. "I know from experience it can take time, and work, to really shake what we're trying to escape from. And it can be very overwhelming for a long time. So just...just know that if you need to leave you can. I don't want you to think you have to stay. I want to confirm that you can choose to stay or go."

"Thanks," he mumbles.

"Also, let me know before you head out so you can take the rest of the biscoff cookies with you." He raises his head in surprise. "I got them because they were on sale, didn't know if anyone would actually be interested in them. You've eaten pretty much the entire box by yourself! Not a judgment, by the way. But now I know your favorite cookies!"

Ransom gives you a soft smile. "I'm not sure what I need to do right now. But I'm glad to know I've got options. Thank you."

"Any time," you reassure him.

Next

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly; @lokislady82

@thiquefunlover63

[arcadekitten]

Arcade! As someone who also has OCD (and autism, but thats besides the point), I just want you to know that it DOES get better! I dont know if thats the only issue youve been dealing with lately (other than the computer one), but I just want you to know that you *can* definitely take a break and that it WILL get better <3 And dont worry about your patrons at all, we're much more worried with your mental state than with our rewards! <3

This message is so sweet of you it genuinely brings a tear to my eye, thank you ♡

I've definitely got a lot of stuff to sort through on my plate right now, while the OCD is definitely a big contributer to all of this I (and people i trust) also think I had a lot of stuff piling up for a while and it kinda became a whole "straw that broke the camel's back" ordeal. Just one of those unfortunate situations where I always tried to look for help but couldn't receive it until it actually became an emergency. (Don't recommend that btw--if you need help then keep pushing for it until you get it)

It really does mean a lot to hear you say though. I feel bad for feeling bad because I care about you guys and especially the ones going out of their way to pay me! I have always been met with so much kindness and generosity and I feel terrible when I can't provide for those who have showed so much love for the things I make! It can be hard not to be impatient with myself because I love making my art and games and I love when I get to share them with you all and seeing the joy you get from them, and I'm sad when I can't do that and I feel bad for you guys when I can't do that!

Luckily though I'm finally receiving much-needed mental health services. I'm still just only beginning but I'm at least seeing the tiniest slivers of progress and it makes me hopeful, at least for today.

I do intend to take the rest and recovery I need, but I will still be excited for whenever I get back to the usual fun we have around here. Thank you for your patience, understanding, and incredibly supportive words. They mean so so much more to me than you could ever know ♡♡♡

[greaterspawnislands]

hi! hope you don't mind me asking, but do you have any tips on writing hc!phil? he's gonna be in a fic i'm working on and i don't want to accidentally make him ooc if i can help it lol

HI. sorry this is late i was at a poetry open mic. but i have ur answer! shoutout philza nation discord i crowdsourced them for answers cause my brain was so broken by today's lore /pos

I think there's a few important aspects to his character that you'd wanna focus on beyond the like. Typical phil cubito-ness. the first is hc!phil's relationship with time.

"hardcore Philza writing that rings true to me often has a really chill, almost meditative element, especially with regards to time and completing things. It doesn't really matter whether he finishes today, there's always tomorrow. He's not going to give up or get frustrated (redstone sometimes excluded lmao), he's not intimidated by the idea that something's going to take a lot of time or effort." @the-arctic-commune

I'll be paraphrasing some of my other friends who contributed (thank u ty, xeph, rakk, and talon!!), but i felt like this quote is a standout in terms of how hardcore phil operates...there's no real end date to his story barring some accidental disaster that will cut his life short. he's free to take his time and lose time entirely as he works on his projects. ccphil before has spoken about (and implied today with the qphil lore) that being in hardcore causes some time dilation issues - what seemed like a week to the crows was Weeks upon Weeks in hardcore time. but for hc!phil, that time passes all the same, and it's not really a stressful thing within hardcore. the time is gonna pass all the same.

also, hardcore!phil is an archeologist. within the canon as it's currently establish, hc!phil isn't the one building those big projects. he's uncovering them as he moves through the world, maybe you could view it as restoring them, but he spends his time uncovering the histories of the deities and what happened before he arrived in this world. he views the world as something beautiful to be observed rather than something he's creating, if that makes sense.

aaaand also hardcore phil is easily the most carefree of his cubitos. he's still got plenty of classic phil anxiety and wouldn't take unnecessary risks, but he's the only living thing he has to keep track of in this world. this enables him to be a bit more of a bastard than other worlds - the most likely to "coo at an animal and then kill it to laugh at the crows" in the words of @manmadesunshine lol.

and he's also the most carefree because he's able to fly, of course. you can't ever forget the flying <3

any other hc!phil loreheads r more than welcome to add on!!! but i hope this gives someee subtle flavoring to ur hc!phil writing!

[wakacreations]

Author's Note:

My contribution to the Doni fandom. Thanks to @falcatamandarina for inspiring the piece.

Doni: I Will See You Again Soon!

Word Count: 1703

Summary:

Doni writes a letter to his father recapping of all that has happened to him so far.

Dad,

It's been awhile since I wrote to you. A lot has happened in just a short amount of time but I just wanted to let you know I'm safe and sound. I made it to Baldur’s Gate just like we promised to each other. The other tieflings from Elturel took me in as a part of their family. You know how I wished for a big brother or sister? I got both! 

There is Rolan who is a famous wizard. Can you believe a tiefling could own a big tower? There is Lia who is the head of a team of flaming fists. She could beat all the fists in an archery match! I once saw her run after a thief on the roof tops and caught them midair. There is Cal who runs a fun orphanage. Everytime I visit the other kids he's planning a secret surprise. Last time the secret surprise was fireworks from Rolan’s tower and we got to eat some yummy food Cal made.

Alfira has been helping me learn how to sing again. I know how much you loved watching and hearing me sing back in Elturel. It's been hard because sometimes my voice doesn't want to come out when I want it to. Lakrissa has been cheering for me everytime during practice. I feel shy sometimes when she does it because I don't feel like I'm doing a good job. I know I can sing really good like you've told me. I just don't sing as good as I used to now. Alfira believes I'm still a good singer but it just takes time to sing like before. She said that I'm a better singer than Lakrissa. She once summoned a pack of worgs to come using her voice alone. I believed her because when Lakrissa started singing we heard howling in the distance. Our lessons had to end early that day. I got to eat some nice cinnamon rolls that Lakrissa paid for. 

Sometimes I visited Dammon’s forge even when I'm not supposed to. He said that I should send him a letter first so he can finish his work early. I try to write to him ahead of time but I would forget. He would be too busy to talk but I liked watching him work on the forge. Mama K would take me on an outing if that was the case. I would help her with the groceries and we would go around visiting the new shops that just opened. I helped her pick out a new shirt for Dammon to wear. Mama K said he can always use some more. It'll eventually become a rag with how many shirts he goes through, she joked. Dammon has a lot of neat projects he's working on. A customer requested to make them a giant warhammer! The hammer was bigger than I was! Dammon, let me wrap the handle with leather. He gave me a lollipop for a job well done. He asked me if I would like to work at the desk while he worked on the forge. I told him I would love to but only when I visit. 

So, Dad when you come to Baldur’s Gate I can treat you to a meal. I have two jobs that pay well. I work at Dammon’s and Rolan’s shops. Don't worry, they said I can stop working for the day when I get tired. I can come into work whenever I want to. I can go restock the shelves or work the desk for the day, it was up to me. You don't have to worry about me spending my earned money on you. Zevlor gives me an allowance and extra pocket money to spend on myself. I sometimes use that money to give him flowers. The Commander would always smile when I handed them to him. It's nice to see him smile because he used to not smile often but I think that's changing now. Tilses said Zevlor’s been making more friends and opening up to people. Hearing that makes me happy. I sometimes worry that he would be lonely in his garden.

He has a big garden with flowers, vegetables and fruit trees. Zevlor even has those fancy hedges that look like little animals. He asked me what animal he should make. I watched him make a cute bunny. They were called “topiary artwork” , he said. Sometimes we would have a picnic in the garden for just the two of us. Other times, which is most of the time, Cal would bring the kids over to have lunch there. 

Zevlor was the host for the outdoor parties whenever there was a celebration for a tiefling from Elturel. The last party was for Lia's promotion. Everyone was so happy it was nice. Even grumpy Rolan smiled. When I went inside to use the toilet, I heard Rolan crying alone. He said he was so proud of his sister and something about the suffering he endured was worth it. I didn't know what he meant by that. I did give him a hug after I found him again. He asked me why I was hugging him. I kept on hugging him. He didn't push me away but hugged back tighter. When he let go, I walked off. Lia noticed the hug and made a comment about if he was crying. Rolan said it was his allergies. His sister said that my hugs were tear worthy and wished that I would hug her too. I gave her the biggest of hugs and then everyone wanted a hug too.

Dad, I'm not as lonely as I used to be back in Elturel. I've been making more friends. Today, I got to play with Arabella, Umi and Xan. Arabella showed me the new powers she got from studying the weave. She said she wanted to be peepaw Wither's apprentice but he kept telling her no. So, Rolan and Gale became her wizard teachers instead. Gale told her she could enroll at Blackstaff Academy and he would put in a good word in for her should she accept. 

Arabella said she didn't want to be far away from everyone again. "Who knows how rude those kids would be there anyways”, she told us. So, she is staying in Baldur’s Gate. Rolan and Gale had set up a portal that connects the two towers just for her lessons. They tried using a scrying eyes for their shared lessons but creating the portals was a better solution. They showed her the new set up for her lessons. The scrying eye would accidentally broadcast whatever the other was doing, Rolan explains to her why the sudden change. Arabella said she saw Rolan and Gale shiver but he didn't explain what they had seen through the eye. 

Umi and Xan described what it was like to live at Wyrm's Rock Fortress with the Duke and Wyll. Umi said it was strange having so many people waiting for you to say something. You had servants that would bring you everything you needed. He felt bad asking them for anything. Umi didn't want to be a bother to them. Wyll said the staff liked him and always mentioned how adorable he was. Umi was happy he didn't need to learn how to wield a sword anymore. He got to learn how to ballroom dance instead. Wyll said the next best thing to dancing in battle would be dancing on the dance floor. Umi said I could join in their dance lessons with Wyll.

Xan explained how Sa'Varsh Lae'zel (his mother) was away on her campaign to tackle the crèche strongholds that still pledged allegiance to Vlaakith. His Sa'Varsh insisted he was to stay at the fortress till she summoned for him. In the meantime he should diligently complete his combat training and learn all he could about Faerun. He enjoyed speaking with the guards that patrolled the fortress. Seeing all the nobles that entered the premises bewildered him. All the flashy jewelry, layered furs and silks looked cumbersome to move. Xan made a face when he mentioned all the perfumes that assaulted his lungs that made him cough and the smells that made his nose hurt from sneezing. As part of his training Xan had insisted to Varsh Wyll he would join in their ballroom dancing lessons. He showed us the steps had learned with Umi from his training.

We spent the whole day playing at the park. We played hide and seek. Arabella and Xan were too good at it. Next game we played was Simon says. Xan was too good at that game. So, we decided to prank him. He got embarrassed when we asked him to say "Faerun" during the game. He wasn't too mad at us for embarrassing him since it was a part of the game. We asked him if there were any githyanki words for friends. He told us it was k’chakhi ra’stil (Wyll later told us that meant idiot ally or dumb friend). There was a patch of grass that had a lot of dandelions. Arabella said we should make flower crowns but she didn't know how. Umi shyly told us he knew how and taught us how to make them. I made you a picture to show you what it looked like.

I think I would train to be bard again, Dad. I missed singing so much. Who knows, maybe you'll be in the audience once again. I don't know if I will only become a bard. I'm still unsure if I want to learn how to be a ranger or a cleric. I'll one day travel around again to find you wherever you are Dad when I'm all grown up like you. I want to let you know I am happy with the life I live now but my life doesn't feel complete without you. I miss you dad. So, write to me when you have the time. I hope you've been receiving my letters even if you can't write to me back. I'll continue to write to you till I'm old and grey. 

I'll write to you again soon! I love you dad. 

-Doni

[iridessence]

How are you so confident? Your pics give the the "I'M FABULOUS AND I KNOW IT" vibe without being fake... you know... a lot of times in pics you can see who is fake confident even of they try to fake it well.

You're GLOWING and you give this great positive vibe.

How did you achieve this? I'm asking this because I'm not confident at all. At home when I'm alone I can be confident but as soon as I go out I stop being confident. At home in my mirror I look ok, average but ok. When I see my reflection outside I'm horrified by my looks and I look like the ugliest person on the planet.

When I talk people usually don't understand me well due being so stressed sometimes I talk too fast or too quiet and they're like "what???"

I think talking too fast comes because people usually interrupt me. I'm introvert and people have always talked over me since I was a kid. So I feel like I need to get it all out before I get interrupted

Other times I don't speak too fast or too quiet but words just can't come out and I struggle to even form a sentence. For 5, 10, 15 seconds I would struggle to find the right words. And when you talk to a boss or a co-worker those 5, 10, 15 seconds last sooooo long that it seems to me like I have been quiet for 10 minutes.

I also cry quickly and I struggle with this. I can't top myself and it's very unprofessional to cry in front of my boss or co-workers that later on make fun of me even more.

Can I become more confident myself?

Or do I need a shrink for my problems (or psychiatrist english is not my first language so idk which word to use)

When I see confident women like you I'm like I CAN DO IT... but this "I can do it" just lasts till I don't step out of my apartment.

Hi, thank you for reaching out. Identifying your issue and seeking help is a very important step, so you’re already on the path! Some of what you asked is addressed in my pinned post, but I have some other thoughts.

These are tough things to deal with and work on – there are so many factors that contribute to struggling and it sounds like you deal with anxiety. It might not be to the same extent, but I struggle with that as well. Something that helped me was reframing confidence and related issues under its umbrella: it’s a muscle, which means it will take time to build but it can be built. And some people have muscles that are naturally suited towards certain things while others might have to work really hard at it; you may be in the latter category but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible!

Therapy certainly helps, but one of the other big things is trying to find community and surround yourself with people who support your personal goals and for whom you can do the same. People that say “hell yeah, wear/do/say the thing!” This may seem hard and counterintuitive to achieve for a person with anxiety, but even online community can be a huge help. Finding those people who have similar interests who are kind and supportive can help you to build confidence before branching out to locals as well. Soon you’ll find your people 

Location makes a huge difference too. I definitely dressed up quite a bit in Chicago where I’m from but I felt sometimes like an alien on the street with how some people received me. Moving to New Orleans, when I’m dressed up it’s just Wednesday. Sure, I turn heads and people take pictures and often people inquire about or comment on my style, but still there’s a sense of creativity and letting your freak flag fly in this city that really feels liberating. But sadly relocating is a huge to-do.

Leaning into what you love is super important— making sure that what you do/say/wear is ultimately for YOUR enjoyment is a key foundation to build on.

One of the great things you’re doing great already is looking at yourself in the mirror. You’ve gotta do it every day. Try talking to yourself in the mirror too, practicing ways you might introduce yourself, etc. These are all different ways you can exercise that muscle so that it doesn’t feel so strange when you’re out in social interactions.

The biggest thing with all of these is just time and taking steps to care for your mental health and growth. It’s hard but it’s worth it, and I wish you the best of luck! 

[reverieaa]

Hi! I'm the same anon as last one who read your 'Change of clothes' (can I be your anon? i'll take any emoji)

So I had a spiritual epiphany which was sparked this morning after going through my notes of states posts (yours as well as @neobora and @remcycl333) and I wanted to share. I think the non-duality concepts finally tied in for me.

This is my epiphany:

I think the true purpose of manifesting as humans is to realise our true selves as infinite beings. To remember & reclaim our limitless power and transcend from the limitations and illusions of the material world we were born into. When you truly understand the law and can practice it well, you are no longer a slave to the material world and its rules. You are unshakeable because you know you are far greater than this temporary shadow. You realised the truth that your reality is whatever you choose it to be, through your awareness. And the process of coming to this realisation, of reclaiming our power, is the awakening & liberation itself. The desire for material things was only the carrot on the stick that led us to learn to manifest, to exercise our power, never the true end goal. The true reward is knowing we are God. We always were and always will be but we needed to remember. And this is how.

Thank you again for your lovely posts. I never thought I'd finally 'get' states but I think I do now. I now read loa posts out of interest & as a reminder of my own power, no longer looking for *the* thing that's finally going to get me what I want. It's always only ever been within me. I can't look outside to fulfill it.

Funny thing is I actually manifested through states a year ago with a few things I didn't care about. I was like 'oh I'll give what I read a try" without any expectations and I realise now I executed it perfectly. The reason I overconsumed, spiralled and couldn't persist when it came to "big" desires is because I was still identifying with the outer man in the material world which falsely believed that it had to work hard to get "big" things it wanted (hence thinking I had to constantly be thinking or doing something about it like doing methods & routines to have it); I hadn't actually realised my true self and true power and identified with it.

Now I know it's accepting that state of being within you, identifying with your inner self (the infinite being) and dismissing the shadow that the 3D is. I also want to credit/give a shoutout to this reddit user Own_Ad7567 who is a shifter as they contributed to my eventual epiphany. I realised shifting is the same essence of what is talked about here, it was very fresh, interesting & eye opening to read about the law framed in yet another way. Their post 'For those who struggle with doubts and focus problems' in particular is really good but all their posts were fun to read! They said:

"Understand that your 3d, or physical reality (basically what you perceive around you) is the least real part of reality. It is just a projection of the 4d. Like a cinema: what happens on the screen is just a projection. If you want to change what's being projected on the screen, dont focus on changing the screen, change the film and the screen is quickly going to be showing something different

I know on loablr the most used analogy was the mirror & face but it never really clicked for me until I read that! And then afterwards I read @neobora's 'Through a different lens' post & it just solidified my understanding.

Wow I'm amazed at how long this post is. Maybe it will help someone else too. Thank you again for your writing all those posts and answering all the asks. I still haven't read most of it but that's just how impactful your posts are. I gained a lot of clarity just from reading a few. I am truly grateful to you, @neobora, @remcycl333, Own_Ad7567 and everyone who shares their understanding of the law. Thank you guys!

You are absolutely amazing, anon! Thank you for your kind and sweet words, and your wisdom. I hope this helps sb put there too and I'm certain that it will. I'm seeing it more and more everyday in this community, despite us having upset and downs. I'm proud that you've finally reached peace in your journey like this, and I'm honored that you let me be part of it, along with the other bloggers

You can be my anon is you wish, I'm not very active here but would it be ok for now if you went by an initial or nickname?

[radiomogai]

sometimes I think about all the queer people of the past who found ways to keep themselves and their communities alive- not just the ones who wrote big articles or were relatively more 'famous'. I mean each and every queer person who has in any way recorded their identity, refused to let time erase them, even if it was in the smallest way, to keep themselves and their queer community alive. all the small, different little ways that we'll never even know about all of them, those are the archivists who kept queer history alive and know we remember their contributions even if we don't know them personally? we remember it through the impact. the same is even more true for every indigenous person who has contributed to language conservation programs, to archival work of the culture colonizers never erased, only thought they did...

does it ever hit you that you are part of that legacy, that y'all are keeping the work of past 'archivists' alive? queer communities, indigenous communities, they adapt and they survive and you are a wonderful part of that legacy. y'all should be so proud of yourselves for being part of that, even if it sometimes feels pointless or small. because i'm sure there have been countless times that queer and indigenous people have felt that way too about their resistance. and I know internet blogging is of course not the same as resistance. but I think y'all should know that you are wonderful and everything you do is worth it- and not just worth it, it is part of such a beautiful legacy of you and your intersectional history. y'all continually amaze me with your dedication and I think you truly deserve to know how important y'all are and that there are queer and indigenous people who are no longer here anymore, who are proud of you for being so invested in your communities and in persevering. so I hope y'all feel that truly, you are not just blogging pointless terms, you are part of such a beautiful legacy of queer and indigenous resistance, even if it seems small. I truly love y'all, you're amazing.

This makes me want to cry, in a really, really good way.

We do think about it. We think about it a lot. We think a lot about how everything around is the result of knowledge being passed from person to person, built on each other. We think a lot about the fact that everything around us comes from people, people with loved ones, people with a favourite food, people who got songs stuck in their head and people who had moments of self-discovery and people who had to be taught everything they know by somebody else. We think about how we’re far from the first Métis person to use our sash to carry berries, we think about how a friend of ours showed us how to do it and how someone showed them and how someone spent hours on our sash and someone had to teach them how to do it and someone had to gather the materials for it. We think about labels built off of other labels and how many people have contributed to the conversations that led to words like queer and gay and xenogender being used the way they are now, how someone had to teach each of them what those words mean, how everyone has thought something different about them even if they never wrote it down. We think about how someone had to teach us how to use a computer when we were a child and how in some way that led to us learning about queerness and surrounding ourselfves in it, about how our self-discovery has led to our archival work and about how that work has led others to their own self-discovery, how they in that way are impacted by the fact that someone taught us how to use a computer. We like to follow things back as far as they will go, knowing that there’s always another step just behind the one we look at now.

The fact that we can sit here reblogging terms is thanks to coiners, is thanks to the artists who first made pride flags, is thanks to activists, is thanks to parents, is thanks to everyday people living openly as queer, is thanks to everyone who’s looked at queerphobia and said that isn’t acceptable and did something about it. The fact that we can sit here as a Métis person is thanks to our ancestors who lived and died and passed on history, is thanks to translators and mothers and grandmothers and family, is thanks to other Native bloggers, is thanks to Indigenous teenagers sharing with each other what little they know, is thanks to every Native who’s refused to cut their hair. We think about it a lot, the people who have impacted the world we’re in, who have impacted us without ever knowing it. We think about the people we’ve impacted without ever knowing it, knowing that the messages and asks we’ve received are only a small portion of those we’ve helped.

Sometimes we see tagging systems inspired by ours. People casually using words that we helped to dig up, or that we coined, or that we helped make common. It’s one of the greatest feelings we’ve ever had the privilege to experience.

[techramonic]

you wanted to do investigative journalism for a while, right? How’d you get into that?

Yes anon, thanks for asking! This is going to be a bit long haha, but I enjoy this question a lot.

I've always been interested in journalism. In 4th grade, I had already been joining competitions for news writing and broadcasting. That's when I started seeing patterns with the consistency of crimes being on the headlines. Of course, it didn't matter so much to me at the time. Overtime, I started being more curious about the news and watching shows and documentaries about scene of the crime opperatives. I inherited my curiousity from my dad, whk consistently kept up with the news either on telivision or newspaper.

Those that get reported almost always include violence. Murder, war, human rights violations. What impacted me was that I began to notice the detachment of peers around my age to the matter. You know, the “Who cares? It's cool to own a gun anyway.” mindset that the media embedded. As if violence is a virtue. I didn't want to be indifferent or supportive of that idea. I was totally against it. To them, crime is a normal everyday occurence, to me, it's a societal epidemic that needed to change.

I've tried out academic debates and while I was good and even won a medal for my speech about pro-vaccination in 10th grade, it wasn't for me. By junior year, I was more involved in campus activism and journalism. I am currently joining the news writing for my high school and last year I was the head editor of our humanities and arts writing journal. In competitions I have joined like writing, slam poetry, and art, I've voiced out about agricultural disparities, recognition and protection of cultural minorities and LGBTQ+, anti-war, anti-political apathy, etc. I've won several of them and at the same time, I also jumped back into researching true crime. I shifted from serial killing to mass murder because I saw that media is more prevalent with the influence on mass murderers. With this, I thought I could at least provide readers a more in-depth prespective on what contributes to such phenomena occuring.

Plus, I've also been a big fan of Sociology. It became a cornerstone for me to focus on the complex aspects of human behaviour and how society shapes us. I figured that with it, I could learn more on the sociological imagination behind crime, specifically how criminals have the tendencies to be very drawn to violence, and how this is primarily due to how our society and the media plays a crucial role in subconsciously provoking and enforcing the mindset of romanticisation. People always blame the media all the time, but we're forgetting that the media is what society wants us to see. It's the manifestations of the reality we live.

The kill count on journalists are high, especially with politics involved. Guess you can call me kick buttowski for being a daredevil. My family and friends have always been worried, even my dad. However, they know that it's my ambitions and as long as I stay safe, they'll be happy. I'm well aware that I might get a bullet through the head in a field like this and I have to process paper after paper about the gruesome realities of life, but if that's what will help the people, then so be it. Some people have said that I'm "empathetic" or "big-hearted" for being so courageous and wanting to pursue a career that isn't necessarily stable and in actuality, dangerous, but in truth, I'm as normal as anyone else. Everyone can be help people. The only thing is I don't want to do it for the thrill or just for fame, I really want to help people and make a change on our society, even if I have to build it brick by brick and the process is excruciatingly slow.

I think dying for that would be a good cause, and truthfully speaking, I am not hoping to die anytime soon because I want to help people out, you know, collectively. I want to be able to better understand the patterns behind the perpetuation of crime and also help others be aware and understand instead of being indifferent or supportive of crime. I want to be able to contribute to the public discourse on justice and accountability. I aim to not only inform the public but also to provoke critical thinking and inspire action in advocating for societal change.

[ofstormsandfire]

Baldur's Gate 3 characters as fanfic authors

(Disclaimer: I have not played Baldur's Gate 3. However, I have been on the receiving end of a lot of infodumping and have seen some of my qpp Cas's durge playthrough. Also, I'm doing this for shits and giggles.)

Astarion: He has a profile filled with the most epic of stories, all of which are marked 1/?. His writing is great! However, he has yet to finish a single fic and quite possibly never will. One of those authors where you can tell they've got Issues irl, but he's private enough in his notes that you can't really guess at what those issues actually are.

Gale: Credits his cat as his editor. Strangely, his stories seem to be very well-edited in spite of this. Jumps from fandom to fandom semi-frequently, but he almost always finishes what he starts before jumping into something new, and you can Tell that he's researched the hell out of every new fic he writes. (There is one fic that remains unfinished; while writing it, he vanished off the face of the internet for months and his readers genuinely thought he died. He has not acknowledged what happened with that fic since returning and is unlikely to do so.)

Halsin: His fics are as well-researched and thought out as Gale's, but specifically where nature is concerned. In the past, he's gotten into very big arguments involving ABO fanfic and how it's not even based on how actual wolf pack dynamics work, though he's been around long enough at this point to just block and move on. Also, characters who are shitty towards the environment tend to either mend their ways or not live to the end of the fic.

Jaheira: One of those writers who has been around basically forever. She posts once in a blue moon but whenever she does, everyone goes !!! about it; probably has a lot of user subscriptions on AO3. Probably volunteers with the OTW in her downtime. Has a certain fondness for fics where, just this once, everybody lives. Extremely private where her personal life is concerned, but she used to talk about a husband. (Longtime readers may note that she has never once been online during a certain month of the year, not even to respond to comments.)

Karlach: She keeps writing oneshots about this one specific comfort character of hers going on adventures and getting nice things. Unfortunately, being literally on fire makes her prone to making typos, but we love her anyway, typos and all. Her fics tend to be best described as... shall we say, heartwarming?

Lae'zel: Gets into literally all the fandom drama. She has written multiple fics specifically to piss other authors off and she'll do it again. Several of these were aimed at Shadowheart in particular during a short span of time, like we're talking slamming out a fic a day for like a week. Doesn't get commenting etiquette.

Minthara: Bad endings abound here. Unlike with Shadowheart (see below) she just kind of wants to watch the world burn and write the most fucked-up AUs she can think of. Goes into concerning levels of detail where things like torture are concerned.

Shadowheart: Writes all these hurt/no comfort angstfest fics. Has been straight up asked in the comments of her fics on multiple occasions if she's okay. (She eventually starts to write more hurt/comfort fics, and her audience breathes a collective sigh of relief.)

Wyll: Very cheerful, very responsive to comments, has a lot of variety in his works. Every single one of his fics is co-authored by this other account who he thanks for her(?) assistance in every story, despite the fact that she has never once said anything in the comments section and doesn't appear to have other social media. It is unclear what this other person's contribution is; Wyll has confirmed that she is neither an editor, a beta reader, or a writer herself.

[lunaaofthemoon]

𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓑𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼! 🌙

"Thank you!" The witch smiles as she gets off the phone to the delivery man and settles into the seat of the car as it takes her across town to her best friend's house. Luna excitedly claps her hands as she looks at the small bag and wrapped present on her lap before looking out the window, watching the buildings go by.

It's Chris' birthday and the witch has been pulled into a plan by his wife to make it a surprise.

She knocks on the door when she arrives at the house, swaying with the gifts behind her back when Chris opens the door. "Happy birthday!" She says in a sing song voice, playfully rolling her eyes at his obvious joy that she's interrupted something by the looks of him. "You are the closest thing I have to a brother! Of course I came here to surprise you!" Luna clicks her tongue and makes her way inside, giving Chris his gifts as she walks past.

"Hello Luna," Irene says sweetly, the women chuckling at Chris as he makes his way back in.

"Hello!" She gives the woman a hug before turning to watch Chris open them with anticipation. She knows that he has a lot of crystals, using them for various reasons but with the new house and the fact that some crystals do need recharging, she had collected and charmed some more for him. "They all do different things, I added a little booklet to help you know which is what! You can either keep them on you or you can keep them around the house! They recharge in the moon too, so all you have to do is put them outside on a full moon and there you go!"

She smiles wider when Chris opens up the book she had made him, something she thought he might like since he likes to steal her magic books. "Dreams can represent different things, small details can have big meanings and I thought that you'd like to maybe understand the magic and power behind them."

Irene hums as she looks over Chris' shoulder, "I've been having some strange dreams lately, could be handy." She kisses the wolf's shoulder before pulling away.

"I'm stealing you for a bit." Luna announces after a short while of chatting to Irene about having something delivered later, laughing at the way Chris raises his eyebrow at her. "I promise, it'll be fun! Or well, it'll be something right up your alley!"

It takes a little bit to convince him, the wolf not impressed that the two women are clearly ganging up on him but eventually, they get Chris to agree to Luna's outing.

As they travel in his car, Luna pulls up the directions on her phone, the location just a little out of town and nervously looks at Chris to see if he knows the place. It would make more sense if he didn't, the place isn't known to many outside of the witching community but Chris always seems to know more than he lets on at times. She picked this place for him because Chris seeks knowledge and wants to learn about magic - what better place than a magical library?

"There's this... library," she smiles at Chris when she says that word, laughing a little before continuing, "it's a special library that's been built recently and filled with thousands of books that relate to anything and everything about magic and the supernatural. The only people that are allowed access to this library are those who have contributed to the library." The witch looks a little proud as she looks out the window, "and I thought why not take you there for an exclusive tour for your birthday?"

"And because Irene needed you to get me out of the house." Her cheeks turn bright red at his comment and Luna laughs, caught out.

"There is that too, but you know her! She's not exactly the type of person you can say no to!"

The library is hidden amongst the trees, a cabin that looks like it's been run down and abandoned, deceiving those who may stumble across it. On the inside, the cabin expands larger than what it seems, the smell of books filling the air as the pair walk inside.

"Ah, Miss Luna, how are you today?" The bookkeeper greets them as they get deeper into the library. "And who did you bring?" He gives Chris a once-over, wearing a stern smile before looking back at Luna.

"This is my...you could say he's family." That was all the witch was going to say as she bows her head and pulls Chris deeper. "Don't mind him, he's very protective as some of these books are centuries old and contain spells that can be extremely dangerous." Despite sharing this knowledge, Luna points in one direction and starts telling Chris where everything is. "We don't really allow strangers in but considering how many books I've found and brought here, I get a little leniency."

Crystals, potions, herbs, spells, everything that one can think of when it comes to magic, the library has it all. There are books that look like they are falling apart and some pages filed away due to their books having been lost to the ages. There are new age books about herbal remedies and crystals mixed in with ancient tomes, journals from witches of old and grimoires from lost covens. This library, a place of history and learning, is a knowledge-seeking bookworm's dream place.

So, that was how they spent the day, laying around on the seating provided, in silence, reading different books. Maybe it wasn't the fanciest birthday he's ever spent but Luna truly hopes he appreciated the peace and quiet even if he would have preferred being at home.

"Oh?" Her phone dings from her bag next to Chris, "that might be Irene." Surely enough, shortly after, Chris' phone goes off and she laughs, "I guess it's time for us to head back! Did you want to keep that for now?" Luna asks, pointing to the book Chris had sitting on his lap.

It seems to be good timing, great timing actually, because by the time Chris and Luna make their way up the driveway, putting the car into park, Chan and Channie arrive seconds after.

"You ready?" The witch asks, probably more excited than Chris is as she follows the wolves to the front door, waiting for them to knock.

— @moonlightchn Chris

[zentreyatwitchvods]

Hello! It's been 5 months since we reactivated the Zentreya Twitch VODs channel. I'm Rayterni reporting back with everything that we have made so far. Due to YouTube’s limitations we’re posting the update here. Feel free to skip to the parts that you want. We hope you enjoy the read! TL;DR: 400 VODs! Playlists! Timestamps! ALL Guilds & Geckos! Things you might have missed due to YouTube not notifying you! A huge word of thanks! Help us find more VODs!

400 VODS

We’re about to cross the 400 VODs mark this week (they are already being uploaded as you read this), as we rapidly catch up with the recent streams! Two days ago we completed publishing 223 VODs in 5 months (71 in 3 days alone), totaling 382 VODs published! Literally thousands of hours worth of streams that were deemed lost forever are now here for all to re-watch, so check out the VIDEOS tab!

PLAYLISTS

We’re also introducing Playlists. It's still at the very early stages, but they can rapidly become the main way of browsing through the VODs according to your interests. Themes such as "SPOOKTEMBER" and "SHOCKTOBER", "New outfit debut", some of Zen’s favorite games and the highly requested "Guilds & Geckos" series have already been added. Feel free to suggest us more! We’re gonna have Playlists for months and years as well since we are not uploading in chronological order. Check out the PLAYLISTS tab to access all of them.

GUILDS & GECKOS

We believe ALL the G&G VODs have already been published at this point, despite some of them not showing up to everybody due to YouTube’s region block. But we are working on having this fixed!

TIMESTAMPS

Some of the fans have been voluntarily contributing by adding timestamps to the comments section of the VODs, and we very much appreciate it! In special we would like to thank @WadeTunnell for timestamping lots of recent VODs. This is very helpful to everybody. We planned on start doing this ourselves in the future but this is not one of our priorities right now. So thank you very much to those doing so, and if you feel like doing more while you are watching, you are always welcome.

A BIT OF STORY TIME, AND THE 2D AND 3D CYBORG ZEN DEBUTS!

This channel started out on July 11, 2021, and has been maintained by Zentreya's moderators Barefoot Ellecktric and Shadow Ben, who have been doing an absolutely amazing job through the years! Thanks to them we could keep track of Zentreya's everyday streaming adventures through nothing less than 159 VODs, comprising the whole of the dragon Zen 2.0 era. To the people who have been watching Zen during all those years it's heartwarming to know that so many precious moments have been preserved for posterity. And to the people who are new to the community this is an incredible archive of one of the pioneer vtubers who paved the way for so many others, and who still keeps pushing the scene to the limits, together with her friends, community, artists and vtubers of all sizes.

Unfortunately, due to life and work, the uploads stopped on March 27, 2022. Since then the community relied on Zen's official channel with clips and shorts, but also on fan channels that have been posting VODs here and there whenever possible, some of them regularly. Other fans and friends have preferred to keep their archives offline in backups, in hopes that it could be of help some day. This kind community effort would later be once again vital for the reactivation of this channel.

On July 4, 2023, I joined Zentreya's clippers team and asked her, Ben and Barefoot permission to reactivate this channel, already offering my personal collection of 121 VODs, mostly from the cyborg Zen era. It was an honor for me to have been trusted with this task. On August 12, 2023, the first VOD from this batch was published, which was "LAST DAY AS A DRAGON. 5 MORE DAYS. (05/15/2022)". This was Zentreya's last stream before the big debut of her cyborg model, which would start an entirely new chapter to her career, including new lore contents - Recently Zentreya has announced on her 6 years anniversary that the coexistence of the two Zens, the cyborg and the dragon, is now official within the lore!

Due to the nature how Twitch works and the precarious ways of downloading the VODs, some of them got corrupted in our backup files, including the 2D and 3D debuts of cyborg Zen. These same VODs were found in another fan channel on YouTube, but unfortunately the channel was deleted before we could contact the author. Such relevant VODs would only be recovered months later when another fan, DeadPark, left a message in the comments section of the announcement video, offering to help with a personal collection of 200+ VODs. Before that, 125 others were contributed by 2 other fans who preferred to remain anonymous. So here they are:

2D cyborg Zen debut

3D cyborg Zen debut

Zentreya has managed to build an amazing community over the years, of fans and friends willing to help keep her legacy alive. All this effort is a labor of love for our favorite toaster, who never ceases to impress us every day with her energy and creativity, her unique comedy, a true passion for vtubing, life, her friends and community. It's the same passion that moves us to now share the joy that we have re-watching her with everybody.

THE BEST COMMUNITY

Ever since we reactivated this channel we had such a positive response from the public, the community, whether it's here on YouTube, on Twitter, Twitch, Discord, and we would like to thank all of you for that. The work is far from done, there's still a lot of VODs to upload, and it needs to be a continuous effort for the time being. But it fills us with even more passion to know that you are here together with us. We would like to share some of the comments that we received and that truly keep us more and more motivated to continue with this task:

@jkubal2 - "Thank you for uploading this stream. This was my favorite Zen stream of all time."

@zetanite5538 - "it’s very rare to see a vod i haven’t seen this is a pleasant suprise :)"

@RickardLejonhjarta - "Chat was on Fire that night it was a blast. Cus you can never tell with Zen if she's just trolling or not."

@SnakeSanders97 - "This was so funny and wholesome. When it happened I couldn't tell if it was an accident or if she was just playing."

@ZensMeatSlab - "This was the stream on my birthday hehe. Thanks for this last massive batch of uploads."

@WadeTunnell - "and THANK YOU for uploading the VODs in the first place! There's probably a lot of people who appreciate the hard work and commitment, I know I do! I don't often get to see much of the streams live and having them archived here is wonderful."

@namesz - "I’m always watching the VODs."

@user0102939547874 - "Dear Zentreya this stream sent me on a emotional rollercoster it was so great to see you and your frinds stream for your birthday happy birthday but my heart was broken to hear that you are going through personal problems and i was crying right along with you I hope you can take time to rest and recharge and heal from all of it I wish you nothing but better days one day one step at a time"

@zickykane5206 - "I remember this one...such a good time. :)"

@Kakarot-xt4yz - "I was there and I couldn't stop laughing the entire time"

@jkubal2 - "I remember. But thanks for doing all the work getting these posted. Been watching them a lot lately."

@adrammelechthewroth6511 - "Zen. I know it's a bit late for this but you can kill the naked guy with a katana by pushing him off of the conveniently placed ledge near his starting location. Just some advice if you ever return to playing Dark Souls 3."

THANK YOU

We would like to thank everybody who have been watching the VODs here on the channel, no matter if the people who simply cannot watch the live streams due to different time zones or due to time constraints, the fans who just want to relive the memories of so many fun, chaotic and wholesome moments, or even the people who just joined the Zentreya bandwagon and want to know more about this energetic dragon mommy running around with a bunch of funny geckos.

To all the fans and fan channels out there who have been uploading VODs to YouTube and other sites, we would also like to express our sincere gratitude, and say that we would also love to contact you soon. This individual effort of all of you is just as important, and now you know why.

If you are new to the Zentreya experience you can join the best vtuber community right now on Discord and, of course, on Zentreya's Twitch channel. On Twitch you will find one of the rare channels out there where the chat not only remains active and vibrant 24/7 (the “Offliners”!), but is also always very welcoming, just like Zen's Discord. So don't be shy, come say hi! Making friends and finding people with shared interests is easy, and we would love to have you too.

HOW YOU CAN CONTRIBUTE WITH MORE VODS

We would like to invite all of you who have ever downloaded any of Zentreya's streams, no matter if it's just one single VOD or a collection of them, no matter the quality that you have recorded it in, if it's complete or incomplete, even if it's muted or pixelated in absolute potato quality: please, feel free to contact us at any time. You can just send me a DM on Discord (look for the name Rayterni on the Editors/Clippers list or the Artists list), on Twitter, or even by just leaving a comment below, here or on any video of the channel, really! We read and appreciate all of them and will reply to you as fast as we can, so feel free to ask questions and post requests for VODs, tell us which ones you miss, share your memories, your ideas of how you think this channel could improve, and we’ll do our best. If you prefer, you can also contact the moderators (I am not a moderator myself, but you can send me DMs). You can find them easily on Discord or when watching Zentreya’s streams on Twitch.

WHAT WE ARE CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR

So far all the VODs from the channel are comprised of streams from the dragon 2.0 and cyborg eras. If you do have or know of someone who does, or any other site out there that has any VODs from the dragon 1.0, we would be immensely thankful if you could contact us with a link, a name, title, any information. If you have a friend or know of someone who does have any VODs, please tell them to contact us or send us a DM, and we will contact them. We just found out very recently that we possibly only have very few of those, probably half a dozen or even less from when Zen joined VShojo. So, again, don't be shy, let us know. We will thank you always on the next update and feature your name with a link to your site, page or profile if you want, and you have our most sincere gratitude.

VODS THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED, AND VOD REQUESTS

Due to the way YouTube works we have discovered that you will only be notified about 3 VODs/day, no matter how many we upload. So we will post some updates every now and then here and on the official Twitter page for the channel with links to the ones that you might not have been notified about. For now, be sure to check out the channel's video tab to see. Feel free to request any streams that you would like to watch again, and we will do our best to find them. Here are some:

A Q&A love advice stream with the tactical maid Zen on Valentines day!

Zentreya driving a mom's car vibing and singing along with chat (WARNING: extremely hilarious!)

Zen shows the cake on stream, and her final outfit debut before the arrival of cyborg Zen (here an outfit inspired by Ruler/Altria Pendragon from the Fate/Grand Order series)

Geega teaches Zen some Fortnite dance moves during her reverse subathon! Also Zen takes a byte on a huge, spicy cheese and immediately regrets it...

Futuristic Zen outfit debut, a 12h-long stream and a collab with OVER 100 FRIENDS AND GUESTS!

Zen goes full furry fantasy on VRChat, proving once and for all what we always knew

An adventure of small proportions - gremolin Zen time on VRChat. Another fan-favorite, the gremolin Zen VODs are here to stay

Bartender Zen outfit debut

Zentreya's new 3D outfit in commemoration of her 5 years of streaming

Comfy outfit debut and song cover! She started out as a muted streamer, and with a notepad she inspired many others to also become streamers. Now watch her once again step up the game, recording her own song covers and more!

AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW!

Once again, thank you all so very much for all the positive reception, for supporting Zentreya and this channel over the years. Thank you Zen, Ben and Barefoot for allowing me to help and for supervising me during this task and for being so patient with me. Thank you DeadPark, WadeTunnell, and everyone who is contributing with the channel as well in many ways! Don't forget to follow the official Twitter of the channel. We see you on the social medias, the chat during her streams and on the comments on YouTube. Let this new year be even more exciting, fun and memorable for all of us! Because this channel is all about the memories that we create and share.

And as Zen always says... KEEP ROCKING! 🤘

[softpine]

@bb-enablefreebuild LITERALLYYYYYYY i even have this exact image saved in my asa & finn web weaving folder jfksjds it's so them, even the hands 😭

@forgotten-pixels oh yeah he definitely has a wikipedia page!! his first single was a pretty big hit and even though his other work hasn't been as mainstream, he's contributed to a bunch of other artists' work so he's still well known in certain circles. i also think he's JUST famous enough to get those weird AI generated articles written about him, like "remember the guy who sang [song title from 15 years ago]? this is him now!!" because he's not well known enough for people to realize it's false / clickbait lmao. (btw you never have to apologize for asking questions!! i love them at any time 🥺)

asa has a regular phone but he may as well not have one at all because he quite literally never charges it or brings it anywhere fjkjsds stevie is the one who's always switching out her phone case & never gets around to putting a screen protector on so her screen is definitely cracked, i think elaine probably loses her phone the most on accident, and jada will say she lost her phone even when it's ringing in her hand because she just doesn't want to answer. if we still had texting limits stevie would use that shit up in half an hour, if that!!

his intentions were good...... his execution however..... leaves a lot to be desired

i'm so sorry my brain cannot even think about april fools right now without the dan and phil brainrot fully taking over 😭😭😭 no other pranks exist in my brain at the moment i can't even think of any sjksjd i could definitely see mikaela & danny pranking each other though

HELPPP this is so funny but i'm gonna have to say casper, there is no way he knows what that is

thank you for the idea!! i'm trying to avoid sending people a patreon link for written work; even if it's free (and it would be), there's still a connotation that it would cost money and i'm afraid no one would even click the link to read it (plus i've already used my patreon for cc so i'm afraid i would annoy the people who followed me for that content). ughhhh but thank you for trying :(

i'm really bummed about substack because it looked like the easiest way to accomplish what i want to accomplish but i'm sure i'll find something eventually. thanks for the interest 🥺

i would love to, but tumblr has a 30 pic limit and also i need to cut myself off at some point because otherwise i could literally spend months on 1 single post lmao 😭

you were right :P :P

i forgot about that too!! iirc wasn't it just dependent on the number of sims you have & their ages? asa bounces between caroline's and danny's houses so he would change the difficulty, but the mayfields would always have the highest rating because they also have sadie & the farm animals to take care of!

yes definitely!! just please credit the original mesh creator if applicable (i always list them) 💝

i forgot to answer this when you sent it, but i did read it right away and it made me smile, so thank you 💖💖

it really is the most attractive trait a person can have to me fjkjsds did you ever hear from that guy btw?? 💕

THANK YOUUU kisses you back one thousand times 💖💖💖

@minamill ILYYY 💞

@morrigan-sims thank you!!!! 🥺

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

🪢 KH-OC Week 2024 🪢 - Day 5 Package

Prompt: What's one Kingdom Hearts / Disney world I should visit? You're the OC. Recommend me your favorite.

This is Dinh-Yu asking here. And as the OC, I am to give him my opinion. Now obviously for him alone, I would have the 'golden preference 🏆', but for the sake of KH-OC Week, I am providing the Top 3.

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Preference #3: Traverse Town

At first glance, someone might think "what a boring world", but then what makes Kingdom Hearts, hey? Traverse town is where you start out in a sense (excluding Destiny Islands), so like everyone else, Dinh-Yu needs to get a taste of Traverse Town, especially if he doesn't know where to start or even what Kingdom Hearts is about. I'm imagining to bridge this to an OC idea that in a KH storyline, he could meet Natasha and Erika there. I'm imagining Erika being the welcoming one, and Natasha's either suspicious of him, or like she couldn't be bothered being in the scene she's in. As Erika's all inviting, Natasha is saying something serious or foreboding, but then reluctantly goes along with the other two and loosens up further in to the journey.

I also imagine that due to the Day 2 designs, Natasha and Erika already have their keyblades. And shortly after they wielded theirs, one appears on Dinh-Yu's hands [he is getting a surprise design for Day 7 as a thank you present. No one tell him] but he doesn't know what it is. The girls tell him what it is and teach him how to use it. Natasha would be the more in the lead with this task, and Erika would chime in with little quips here and there.

Also, finally, the idea, remember, of Traverse Town being a refuge for those who do not have a place anywhere else in Kingdom Hearts; so a really cozy world if you think about it.

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Preference #2 (🏆): The Land of Dragons

I mean Dinh-Yu's Chinese, so of course he's got to swing by the Land of Dragons and meet Mulan and Li Shang! Perhaps they'll be having secret conversations behind my back that I don't understand, that being in their native language. Once again, Natasha and Erika would be by his side as his 'Donald and Goofy', and just like in KH2, one of them can be swapped out for Mulan if the player wants.

It's time to see how well Dinh-Yu can combine his Kung Fu skills with a keyblade and kick the Emperor's butt in the main square. Or try not to get rolled over by the avalanche on the mountain unlike his bad encounter in Flashfreeze Cape. Instead of penguins, he'll be facing wasp-like heartless here and potentially a rude man in a black coat that he doesn't realise was his interviewer back on 13 May this year.

Side note; I can't seem to find too big-a-role for Natasha and Erika in this world. I guess it's like the actual KH2 story where the side party are really only more prominent in the bigger worlds. But hey, feel free to contribute some great dialogue/cutscene ideas for them!

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Preference #1: Twilight Town

This has always been my favourite world in Kingdom Hearts, and not JUST due to the residing trio itself. It's funny, because both my KH dream guides come from other worlds, but the one where they're not from is the one where I feel most at home.

Well, that's a clashing idea as Terra has managed to ease me into the Land of Departure and has made me feel at home there. But I can't necessarily do heaps of stuff there.

So it's like no matter what other worlds I might be in, I seem to keep revisiting Twilight Town time and time again, which is likely also why Lea has befriended me and acts as a supporting figure to Riku and Terra if you will.

I remember in 2020 and early 2021, asking Riku to take me to Twilight Town lots of times and I bonded with him there more than I did on the islands. So in the dream world, it has mainly been just Riku and I (and Namine on some occasions). But in waking life and in general KH-OC Week lore, Selvian and Sierra have also had a large part to play in this world. In-fact as a bonding experience, Riku would take me up to Namine's mansion and we'd do things over there with her (so as a threesome as it were). Like Riku was very short and snappy in 2020, but in times where were at the mansion, he'd ease up there... Maybe because there were two girls around him? I can't say much for Terra in this instance because I haven't been to Twilight Town with him near as much [he and I used Neverland]. But this world was a memorable foundation for Riku and I, and once again, is revisited from time to time when I my IRL body and mind can catch a break from spiritual bombardment / retrogrades and the 'spiritual grind' 😅.

Neverland is among my favourite worlds for the above reason. But as this is recommending where Dinh-Yu should visit, there are higher preferences.

So for Dinh-Yu's case, there is a lot to do in Twilight Town and you will make friends with at least one if not more of the locals. As part-time participants, even Selvian and Sierra enjoy spending time in Twilight Town and the two eat Seasalt Ice-creams as they walk up to the train station or down to the sandbox with me, or both me and Riku. In a sense, Riku, myself and those two may sometimes have 'family outings' there and occasionally meet up with Lea. The teddies have never been seen on the clocktower. Either they have just never gone there, or as little teddies, are scared of what would be extreme heights for them, moreso than a person.

Remembering from my IRL dream archive, Twilight Town is actually the place where Sierra first manifested her keyblade. She would definitely invite Erika to hang out with her there one day.

Now for if Dinh-Yu was going to Twilight Town, my recommendation would be to befriend the Seasalt Trio. He used to interact with Roxas more until I got lethargic, so he does know him. Only Xion he hasn't really gotten to know. Also, opportunity for Kung Fu and/or Keyblade training on sunset hill... Away from the locals. And please don't terrify anyone travelling underneath the train station network.

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Discussing the 'worlds' prompt is now finished.

Now just for disclosure / a reveal to Terra's situation. Day 3 and 4 have prompted a need to review the situation with Terra's teddies and there has been a change-over:

Terra now has guardianship over two Obwana siblings.

Terra's teddy buddies, as of 4 AUG 2024, are as follows: 1. MR. MABO OBWANA - INFP 2. MISS NASHA OBWANA - ESFP

Again the prior dynamic clashed and Terra slowly got neglected. Terra has met Mabo before, even if briefly, and the two bonded instantly, so I think Terra will be really happy to find out that Mabo will be working with him as one of his closest friends (different level to Aqua and Ventus). And this is consequentially I guess Terra's birthday present for 2024.

Also, as Siblings and a strict parental foundation, Mabo and Nasha will likely get along, and there will be less motivation for Nasha to fight/argue with anyone.

MABO:

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I thought now would also be an ideal time to show off Sierra's Heart Station as I did say that any further bonds with her and Erika would be explored over time if ready. I drew it a few months ago, but edited it just now to include her sister:

I thought it'd be a cool concept to have the teddy that it's centred around, in their human form.

Her connections (L-R): - KARLA B: Her creator/'The Mistess'. - MISS ERIKA TAPALADOS: Her younger sister. - MR. LESTER ZHANG: Her husband. - MR. RIKU CAELUM: The Dream Guide that introduced us to Kingdom Hearts. And took Selvian and Sierra under his wing as well when he finally came to terms with me.

Sierra and Lester have 3 children, but this would be too much to add on to her station, and dad and the kids are more in Warioware, whereas mum's gone to Kingdom Hearts. Hey maybe Lester and the kids can visit her in Twilight Town.

Oh God, I just realised that the instance and direction of KH-OC Week 2024 is facilitating a family reunion for Sierra 🥲, even though she still remains much loved and a solo powerhouse in Kingdom Hearts. Selvian is an excellent work-partner towards her and makes her not be homesick (hubby and children regardless of franchise).

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Okeeeey I'm done with Day 5. Man am I going to have anything as equally as engaging for Day 6 and 7? 😅