#big gabi fan club

[longeyelashedtragedy]

I DO

do u dig the vibe? @longeyelashedtragedy

[longeyelashedtragedy]

BIG GABI HEADER AHHHH YES AHHHHHHHH YESSSSS

[outsideratheart]

Welcome to Colney (Leah Williamson x reader)

Summer 2022 changed your life. Winning the Copa América wasn’t new to you nor the Brazilian national team but this year was the first tournament where you was the captain of your team. It was an honour and a privilege to wear the armband but it came with pressure and responsibilities that you weren’t expecting. Your performance caught the eyes of several clubs but one stood out from the rest, Arsenal. The decision to move to the legendary English club was made easier when Rafa told you they made her an offer too. It was chance to play football with your best friend at club level for the first time in your careers.

“Are you nervous?” Rafa asked as you pulled up to the training facilities. There would be no training today but the club wanted to celebrate the players who had been crowned champions over the summer.

You shake your head.

“Not even to play with a new team in a new country?”

Truth is you were nervous about learning a new style but you also knew you had to lead by example.

“I welcome the challenge”

“Of course you do”

You arrived to find the entire team, both men and women, outside the front of the building. The sight itself was a little bit daunting but you would let them know that.

“Y/N! Rafaelle!” Jonas is the first to spot you and calls you over.

He introduces you to the team but there seems to be one person missing; your English counterpart Leah Williamson.

It is only when you see Beth Mead and Lotte Wubben-Moy sporting their medals do you realise that you have left yours in the car. Rafa volunteers to go them and in her absence you find yourself gravitating towards your fellow Brazilians on the men’s team.

You are so deep in conversation with Gabi that you don’t realise the women’s team has gathered for a photo.

“Desculpe” you quickly run over where you are instructed to stand in the middle.

Seconds before the photo is taken you feel a hand grab your waist and it sends a shockwave through your body. When you turn to face the owner of said hand you see a shy looking blonde with flushed cheeks.

“I’m Leah” she holds her hand out for you to shake once the photographer says she’s happy for the shots she has.

“Y/N” you shake her hand, a motion in itself lasts a little longer than it did with everyone else “It’s a pleasure to meet you Leah”

There’s something about the minuscule moment you had just shared but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“We’re very lucky to have you here at Arsenal. I can’t wait to play with you”

“I’m sure you’ll be playing more with Rafa but I look forward to sharing the pitch with you”

It was a compliment face off. It's clear both of you are fans of each other but it is when Beth wanders over do you realise just how big of fan Leah is.

“I see you’ve met your biggest fan” Beth wraps her arms around Leah’s shoulder “Leah here couldn’t stop talking about you when we found out you had signed”

Leah’s face said it all. The embarrassment was clear but you liked it. What you didn’t like was the way Rafa appeared out of nowhere and joined in Beth’s game of expose my captain.

“Oh please, don’t act like you aren’t a fan of hers too. Y/N came her a few weeks ago because she wanted to meet you but when she arrived you were with your team mates on holiday”

“Rafaelle” it was a warning, one which she was all too aware of “I came here to sort out our house whilst you were off celebrating with the girls”

“You didn’t celebrate your win? You were incredible” Leah, once again, pays you a compliment.

“I had a lot on my plate. Like Rafa said I came to unpack and decorate our house but before then I had back to back interviews and photoshoots in Brazil that I couldn't get out of"

“I understand that” the sorrow in Leah’s voice was concerning.

“Being a first time captain leading your team to a championship comes with its downfalls”

Leah only nods her head. The weeks following the euros was nothing like Leah expected. The tournament put her on a pedestal and for the first time since she lifted the trophy she didn’t feel alone at the top.

Of course both of you could relax a little knowing that while here at Colney and at meadow park, Kim Little was the captain and it didn’t take long for you to be reminded of that.

“I see the captain of England and the captain of Brazil have met but we all know who is in charge around here” Katie joked.

“We are team full of leaders. Leah is one of the captains too and I hope Y/N will bring some her her leadership skills to the team” Kim joins the small group which is forming.

You cannot bring yourself to respond. Not because you don’t want to but you don’t want to place yourself with the top players of the team when you haven’t even stepped foot on the pitch.

During the offseason trip to Germany you found it surprisingly easy to fit in with the team. You got along well with the team but more so with Leah. Despite being from different countries, you had similar tastes in music so you would often lounge around listening to your favourite playlists whilst Leah showed you how to play Sudoku.

Things changed when you were back in London. You unconsciously began to close yourself off. It was as if Y/N the human being didn't feel at home in London which wouldn't be a problem given that you had only been there for a month but Rafa seemed to be blossoming in the country's capital. Several players picked up on your change of behaviour so Katie suggested a team bonding night at a restaurant of her choosing.

When she sends you the address of an all you can eat Brazilian you are filled with excitement but the restaurant itself didn't quite live up to a native's standards. The gesture is kind and you make sure to thank her for her efforts when you leave.

"You didn't like it?" Leah nudges you as you and few of the other team members walk back to where the cars are parked.

"It wasn't really Brazilian. It was just a lot of meat" you whisper as not to upset the irishwoman.

"I told you Katie!" Leah shouts much to your failed attempts at telling her to not to say anything.

"What!" Katie comes skipping over to the two of you "I thought you would like going to a Brazilian restaurant"

"That wasn't Brazilian, it was —“ Rafa comes to plead your case.

"A lot of meat" Leah says earning a smirk and a shake of head from you.

This leads to Rafa inviting the team over to the house you shared and offered a home cooked Brazilian feast which you found rich considering you were the chef out of the two of you. The team happily take her up on her offer and as you walk down the streets of St Albans you gaze remain fixed on a certain individual and how her hips swayed with every step she took.

"So you and Leah?" Rafa snuck up behind you. She had seen the way the two of you conversed the entire night. You barely showed anyone else any attention but the sight Rafa saw was rare and she knew that you must have opened yourself up to Leah if you were willing to get this close.

“She —“ how do you describe Leah?

"Ticks every single one of your boxes" the fellow Brazilian finishes your sentence or at least she tries.

"I was going to say she is beautiful"

You couldn’t deny Leah’s beauty. The way her blonde hair brought out the colour of her eyes; it puts the bluest oceans to shame. You were attracted to Leah and you knew it from the first day you met her but the passion she has for the sport you both love led you to fall deeper for her. She understood your mind more than anyone else given that she recently faced the same pressure as you.

"You should ask her out"

"I'm going to"

And that is what you planned to do the next day at training, that is until Beth officially gave you the low down on the couples within the team. Of course you had your suspicions and those had been right. What did catch you off guard was when Beth started talking about Leah and her history with Jordan Nobbs. From the signs Leah had given you, you thought she was single but Beth's explanation of their on off relationship thus far gave you reasons to doubt the moments you and Leah had shared. It’s the reason why you never asked her out that day or the day after that. In fact months passed and you still didn't ask her out even though your feelings never changed. You did keep her close though, just close enough to allow yourself to think what if.

It was during the final away trip of the year that the truth game to light. The team had met for breakfast, Leah observed from a distance as you watched Kim make a coffee with her latest contraption. The look on you face resembles that of a child watching a magic trick whilst figuring out how it’s done. She found it adorable the way you closed you eyes, inhaled the sent of the freshly poured cup then smiled widely as you swallowed your first mouthful.

“You’re drooling” Rafa jokes as she joins her fellow centre back at the table “Leah?” She waves her hand in front of the blonde to get her attention.

“I’m sorry. Did you say something?”

“You stare at her a lot for someone that turned her down”

Leah drew a blank. She had no idea what Rafaelle was talking about. She hadn’t turned you down, she wouldn’t and it’s not like she has had the opportunity to because you haven’t asked her out. She is just about to ask her to elaborate but both her and Kim gets called over by Jonas. You mumble a short and sweet ‘hi’ as you take her place at the table.

Rafa’s words stuck with Leah for the next few days as she tried and failed to think what could have made her think that. In the end it is the culprit herself that confesses when some of the girls are at Lia and Caitlyn’s for a game night.

“It’s been 5 months Leah and you have yet to make a move on Y/N. We can see the see you look at each other” Lia begins her friendly interrogation.

“and the sexual tension is disgusting” Katie fake gags.

“She told Rafa that she asked me out and I said no” Leah explains.

“You turned her down but I thought you liked her?” Viv questions.

“It’s not like Leah would have said yes, She is still with Jordan” Beth says.

You would have though the blonde had confessed to a murder the way all heads turned to her with a movement that could have given the owner whiplash.

“Beth, me and Jordan broke up before the euros. It’s done, we’re over for good this time”

Beth looked like a child that watched on as a problem they caused gets unveiled.

“What did you do?” Viv asks her girlfriend.

“I might have told her that you were already taken” 

Leah couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Had Beth really sabotaged the relationship before it even had a chance to begin. It made Leah realise one thing, you did like her because you were going to ask her out. She tried calling your phone but it went straight to voicemail and despite her trying numerous times after that, the results were the same no answer.

In an attempt to redeem herself, Beth offered to drive the blonde to your house. It was an offer that Leah happily accepted. She knew from overhearing a conversation between you and Stina that you were going back to Brazil for the holidays, she only wished that she could see you before you leave.

With her friends in tow Leah knocks rapidly on your front door hoping with every fibre of her being that you answer it. A Brazilian answers the door only it isn't the one she hoped for.

Rafa notices Leah peeping behind her and its then that she realises the blonde didn't come for her.

"You're here for Y/N?" she asks earning a nod from Leah "She isn't here"

Leah's face fell. It isn't the end of the world but she didn't want to spend the next two weeks wondering what you're doing in Brazil and more important who you are doing things with.

"Where is she?" Caitlyn asks.

"Airport" Rafa then looks down at her watch "Her flight leaves, well right now actually"

If it wasn't already, the way the other girls looked at each other made it obvious that something was going on and Rafaelle was in the dark.

Out the corner of her eye Leah saw a photo frame hanging on the wall. It was a photo on the two of you taken in Germany, a small chuckle escaped her lips at the difficulty that came with the getting to pose for the photo but just as quickly as the happiness flood her systems, it is replaced with sadness.

"I'm about to put a movie on and order a takeaway if you guys want to stay" your best friend points to the takeaway menus that were scattered on the kitchen countertop.

Everyone was up for an impromptu movie night, everyone but Leah who quite frankly just wanted to be alone. She politely declined the invite and left your house with her head hanging low.

The moment she steps outside her body crashes into another sending her to the ground.

"Leah! are you ok?" you help the blonde to her feet.

Leah meanwhile didn't understand what was going on. How was you there when you were suppose to be on a plane to Brazil.

"Leah?" you wave you hand in front of her face "Did you hit your head?”

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here" you chuckle a little at obviousness of her question.

"I know that" she smacks you playfully "I mean in England, Rafa said you were going to Brazil"

"My flight was overbooked so I'm taking the next one which is first thing tomorrow morning" you explained.

You are just about to enter your home when Leah stops you. Her hand rests on top of yours on the door handle. You remove you hand but keep Leah's intertwined with yours. You knew something was wrong. First she was leaving your house alone and now she didn't want you to go in.

"Linda" you look deeply into those blue eyes you like so much "What's wrong?"

"Beth was wrong when she told you about Jordan. We are not dating, that chapter of my life is done"

Your head dips slightly as a smile tugs at your lips. If Leah wasn't with Jordan then it changes everything.

"But she said that you were" you try to remember the exact wording "she said it was on and off. I like you Leah but I won't ruin your relationship"

"There is no relationship, me and Jordan are done. There is something between us though and that is the only thing on my mind"

There something about the girl you like telling you how she feels and it aligning with your own feelings that brings you pure happiness.

"Would you have said yes if I asked you?" Leah nods enthusiastically "then let's go"

She could't believe your spontaneity. It didn't match your every day personality but she liked this side of you.

"I would love that but you should know Rafa and some of the girls are inside having a movie night and since this is your last night here before winter break, maybe we should join them?"

You didn't like to share and given that Leah had all but admitted she had feelings for you, you really wanted to spend the night with her alone. You are just about to tell her this when you hear laughing from the other side of the door.

"We can but only if you let me take you out for breakfast in the morning?"

"I would like that"

When the door opens, the girls on the other side freeze. All eyes are on the hallway as they wait to see who enters.

"Y/N!" Beth shouts "and Leah! who are holding hands?"

You pay no attention to the forward’s observations. Instead you go straight to your place on the sofa which funnily enough remains empty and Leah settles in beside you. Throughout the night you struggle to pay attention to the movie because the woman in your arms in much more interesting. At one point she catches you staring and with the way you are sat your faces are incredibly close. You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from kissing her but when Leah reaches up to caress you lower lip your hesitation goes out the window. Her lips are soft against your own and you relish the moment you have been waiting for since the first say you met her at Colney.  

"Minha Linda" you place a soft kiss to her hairline.

"What does that mean?" Leah had been learning Portuguese from Rafa but it was a slow process.

"My beautiful"

[studywgabi]

I'm a Method Cashier!

And this was a role I could really sink my teeth into.

Okay, so, first of all, to work at Store there are 2 online applications, an online training course, 3 questionnaires for your references to fill out, 3 interviews (2 alone and 1 group), a background check, an unpaid 4-hr. orientation, a drug test, a pacer test, a polygraph test administered by an F.B.I. agent (and not like the sexy ones on Criminal Minds), a blood oath, and you have to be able to put on lipstick like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club. Jesus, there are less requirements to be elected president. And a cult wouldn't make you jump through this many hoops to join.

My Marketable Skills: I'm a warm body and I'm not an asshole. I'm not going to say "we should hang out outside of work" to my coworkers or mouth off to the customers. Basically, you should hire me because you could do a whole lot worse.

But I couldn't just say that. I couldn't just be honest. It had to be, with tears glistening in my eyes: "It has been my lifelong dream to be a cashier at Store. Cashiering is my passion. I have 3 Ph.D.s in Applied Cashiering, Cashiering Theory, and Experimental Cashiering from Harvard University's School of Cashiering, and I completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Oxford University's St. Cashier Cashiering College. I have 97 years of experience in the field."

So, I get there, for the first interview, in my silly little outfit, mostly stolen from my mom's closet. I walk in and say excuse me to the first employee I see. She clutches her chest, looks bewildered, and says "excuse me" back.

Gabi, apprehensively: "Hi, I'm here for an interview, could I speak to a manager please?"

Employee #1, startled: "Yeah." She walks off and I assume I'm meant to follow her.

My dead name sounds vaguely similar to the name of a character from a classic poem you read the Wikipedia summary of in ninth grade English class. The first five letters are the same, but the character's name ends with an a, and mine with an e. Anyway, while we were walking, we introduced ourselves and she said, and I've never have cause to use the word "chortling" before, but if there was ever a time, it was then, "Well, your mother must have been a big The Poet fan, huh?" (as if I've never heard that one before). I mustered a polite chuckle and said nothing.

Employee #1, sneering: "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Gabi, wishing for death: "No, I know the poem."

Employee #1, under her breath: "Big deal."

The rest of the walk is silent. We turn a corner and see a boy about my age. She starts calling his name, he fully makes eye contact with her, and then turns and speedwalks away. She keeps calling after him and picks up the pace to reach him, but he outruns her. No need to watch the documentary through your fingers, the antelope is safe this time. It turns out he wasn't even the manager, because I meet her next. The interview goes okay and I get the second one. I ask a different employee this time. She says into her walkie-talkie, "Anthony, Gabriella is here for an interview, do you want to deal with that?"

Anthony comes be-bopping up to me at 1,000 mph. When he's still several aisles away, he calls out "Hi, Friend!!" in an acoustic guitar-playing, jeans-wearing youth pastor voice. He leads me to the office, racing down the aisles like there's an serial killer revving a chainsaw behind him, and by the time I catch up in my pencil skirt and heels, I'm panting and sweating. Maybe this is part of the interview: seeing if you can keep up metaphorically and literally. The weakest shall be sacrificed.

Tony asks me, not why I want to work at Store, but why I want to work in general, as if earning money to eat is a casual hobby, like knitting. He asks me if I've applied anywhere else, like Store is a jealous girlfriend. Then he asks me if I have any questions, and I know you're supposed to have something, so I pull a couple out my ass. After he answers them, he asks if I have any more, and, thinking I'm out of the woods, I say not for now.

Anthony, ominously: "You sure?" Slowly pan back to Gabi.

Gabi, brightly: "I'm sure I'll have more during orientation if I'm hired, but I think I'm covered for now. Thank you!"

(Beat.) Anthony: "Well, you know, I'm just gonna give you some advice: you really should have more questions. But don't worry, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you a little bit more about how the Store family does things."

45 minutes later, he asks for a third set of questions, and then, believe or not, a fourth. Sir, this is my interview. You're not a celebrity guest on The Fucking Tonight Show. If you're so desperate for me to ask you questions, why don't you apply to this job? Or do like the rest of us and pretend you're on Ricki Lake talking about how brave you are to share the story of your divorce from Tim McGraw and how it inspired your new album, "Warm Regards, Gabi," currently topping the country charts while you shampoo your hair.

Three business days later, my email: "Congratulations! You have been selected to join the Store Family! Please report for orientation next Wednesday at noon."

Another day, another dollar.

[mediawhorefics]

hiii, hope you're fine, was wondering if you have any recommendations for murder mystery books? idealy sapphic

hiiii i've been fine (pretty atrocious actually my entire life is falling apart hence why i haven't been able to maintain this second blog) i'm always here for book recs tho !!!!

this is actually a bit of a tricky one for me because i'm a big mystery fan, but i'm not huge on murder mysteries in general. i do love a challenge tho, so i'll see what i can find for you!

the last binding trilogy (freya marske) -> not quite murder mystery but a historical fantasy series ft. some murders and some mysteries. each book focuses on a queer couple and the second one ft. sapphics trying to solve a magical murder on a cruise ship. its mainly a romance series with a great magical mystery overarching plot. 10/10

i kissed shara wheeler (casey mcquiston) -> again a general mystery rather than a murder mystery but it's a sapphic ya romance about a prom queen disappearing after kissing her academic rival and said academic rival's obsession with finding her.

bury the lede (gaby dune) -> graphic novel about an intern at a newspaper stumbling upon a gruesome crime scene. (full disclosure, i dont remember anything about this one... i read it ages ago rip)

sadie (courtney summers) -> ya mystery novel. after her sister's murder, sadie, disappointed by the official investigation, skips town in pursuit of the murderer and justice for her sibling. meanwhile a radio personality overhears sadie's story at a gas station and becomes obsessed with finding her, starting a podcast to track his progress. not sapphic particularly and tw applies. it's a pretty harrowing book, but keeps you on the edge of your seat. apparently the audiobook is amazing.

big bad wolf series (charlie adhara) -> okay it's mlm and it's technically werewolf porn, but the mysteries in this ex-fbi agent partnered with a werewolf to solve werewolf crimes series are actually good and engaging and keep you on your toes. no one was more surprised than me.

the will darling adventures trilogy (kj charles) -> again mlm and more general mysteries than murder mystery specifically, but it's so good and there is a sapphic side pairing later in the series. it's set in the 1920s... will darling is a wwi vet who just inherited his uncle's second hand's bookshop which lands him in a world of trouble when both a gang of criminal and the war office end up on his doorstep looking for the same information. which he's pretty sure he doesn't have.

hither page (cat sebastian) -> sorry this one is mlm too rip. post wwii. a gruesome murder shocks a small community with a sprinkle of romance between the village's doctor and the spy sent undercover to solve the crime.

here are some books that fit the vibe that are on my to read and i'm excited to pick up, but obvs can't vouch for yet

last night at the telegraph club (malinda lo) -> sapphic love story set in 1950s san francisco chinatown

lavender house (lev a.c. rosen) -> described as knives out with a queer historical twist. set in the 1950s.

even though i knew the end (cl polk) -> historical fantasy murder mystery ft. a sapphic detective trying to catch a notorious serial killer to ensure she can have a future with the woman she loves.

a million to one (adiba jaigirdar) -> girl gang heist on the titanic. historical ya and sapphic.

meddling kids (edgar cantero) -> paranormal/horror/mystery grown up teen detectives reunite to solve a paranormal mystery fro their past. also queer.

the dead and the dark (courtney gould) -> paranormal/horror/mystery/ya/sapphic. logan, daughter of two ghosthunters, is determined to solve the mysteries of snakebite, oregon where weather patterns are odd and teenagers keep disappearing/showing up dead.

alright, i think that's all i can think of for now ??? i'll add to the list if something pops in my head, but hopefully that covers what you were looking for, at least a little? sorry i didn't 100% follow the brief for some of these haha.

[hangeslefteye]

AOT BOYS AND THEİR FAVORİTE WİNX CLUB FAİRİES!!!!

I finally did it y'all content we've all been expecting HGXSCGFCGS honestly I enjoyed this so much I added some more characters and some more xDdd as a result we got EREN ARMİN JEAN REİNER FALCO PORCO MARCEL AND ZEKE!!!

******

Eren:Watches Winx incredibly in secret xD You no way wont know how much of a raging fan he is xD As for their fave I feel like season1-3 eren could like Bloom or Musa cuz they had the most parental issues and they were SLİGHTLY emo xD but season 4 Eren is a deff Trix staner maybe Icy lol (İn a modern day au fights with Zeke to roleplay as Bloom xDD)

Armin:He is actually quite comfy of what he watches, even if he were to get bullied because of 'Winx being a girl show bla bla' he simply enjoys what he enjoys duh.And their fave is:Floraaaa, Armin is a soft soft soft sweet boy AAAAAH <3 Either flora or maybe at season 4 Technaa

Jean:Just like Eren will watch is quite sneaky and you wont know how much they like Winx until it comes up in a fight with Eren xD And their fave?Musa for aesthetic reasons xD -She has looong black hair ;) - Ok I always had a hc of Jean liking slightly harsh woman so in a modern Au he is most likely to be into that Goth stuff? So maybe he has always been a secret Trix stan ???

Reiner:BİG,BİG,BİG WİNX FAN lmaooo excuse himself by telling everyone its for the kids xD (most likely watches it with Falco and Gabi.Which Falco loooooves but Gabi cant stand xD).Ok Ok now, Season1-3 Reiners fave is most likely to be Stella and slightly Bloom too but at Season4 I see a huge Darcy fan lol (As much as ı remember Darcy had the darkest self depressing jokes ever xD)

Falco:My boy just like what he likes it doesnt matter how much Gabi jokes around he is PROUD to watch Winx ok??? And their fave is Bloom?Because it remind him a bit of Gabi??(Bby boy is terrified of Trix,like they are not realll, calm xD)

Porco:I cant with this guy GXSCGSFASXB.Just magine him up at 4 am sneaking downstairs to watch old episodes re-aired xD. GETS CAUGHT BY MARCEL xDD Tries to change the tv to soccer but its too late Marcel has seen it all LMAO.After being petty they agree on watching it together and staying silent xD And Porco's favorite is deff STORMY!! only sensible character and rest it stupid but he watches anyways xD

Marcel:Ok,imagine at one point he owned one of those pink Winx pencil shaped erasers (if you lose one piece of it just throw away type of useless ones xD)he kept under his bed and Porco accidently found it lol his first thought is 'Is my brother gay????' xD and he too likes it a lot he just keeps the eraser to himself xDD (And thats the story of how Porco began to watch Winx xD) Just imagine the silent panic of poor Marcel being exposed after losing the eraser??? xDD Anyways his favorite fairy would be Aisha??? Cuz she is so beautiful?? High case has a crush on his fave xD

Zeke:Watches it for boobies and butts even when he was a kid OwO XDDD.He tries to explain his friends that real manly man would watch Winx Club because of hot girls xD Starts watching because of that and gets carried away by actual plot xD İn a modern au might encourage Eren to watch it because he knows how much he likes it AHSHXASXVBX As a result I can see them screaming 'Enchantix' at house and act like they are transforming xD As for his fave its ROXY OF COURSE xD she is the fairy of animalss!! On the other hand might like a side villain like Diaspro and deff appreciate Trix's costumes xD

[gunnerina]

Rewatched Reiss’s goal like 8 times just now and Jesus it’s just sooo good 😭 Martin and Big Gabi falling to the ground, Wilo sprinting to the fans, Granit breaking his neck to see where the ball goes before chasing after Reiss, Benny’s little thrust, all the cameras shaking, Gary O’Neil’s face, the massive pile on and patting of Reiss, Reiss fixing his little collar, Mikel dapping up a random little kid.

I’m literally sobbing I love this club.

[jordi-ahava]

Internet Archetypes

why do we want to find different versions of ourselves online?

GOOD EVENING WEIRDOS! I hope your Thursday is feeling like a Friday. I discovered something interesting a few days ago—you’ve probably seen this creator (@um.gabi) coming up with hilarious, truthful videos about female archetypes.

But they’re not the classic Jungian archetypes that we may hear about in psychology courses—they’re tied to physical items. Books, different types of coffee, clothing items, dating apps, cosmetics… anything that ties us to our appearance and reception of self.

In this video, she dissects different drinks and aligns them with types of girls IRL. It’s a wonderful, succinct video that manages to tackle a lot of big ideas about personality in one short form vid. (Gabi is very talented. Big fan.)

There’s another video that I came across since my algorithm must’ve known that the concept piqued my interest. (Because algorithms are sentient… everyone knows that, duh.)

It’s made by a man (@trevordmusic on IG) who is trying to appeal to a certain group of women, saying, “When the mentally ill art girl with big curly hair asks what my type is…” and points to the camera, mouthing, “YOUUUUU!”

Here, an exchange with my fellow mentally ill art curly hair girl Hannah, showing our utter joy about identifying with an online archetype—finally!

Sidenote: Hannah is one of the most talented musicians I’ve ever known, and you should totally listen to her music! Here is her Spotify page.

But my question is, why are we excited about sharing ideas about archetypes, archetyping other people (is that a verb?), or identifying with archetypes all over the internet?

It’s interesting that we have these parasocial relationships with these creators, begging them to be a considered a member of the archetype so they can fancy us. And if we are not a part of any archetypes, why do we have this innate desire to be part of one?

Why must the internet be a mirror? Don’t we know who we are without being labeled?

I think this points to a much bigger current event, which is my generation’s deep desire to belong. Even if it’s an online community, we crave those relationships where we can say “Same!” or “You took the words out of my mouth!” or “I ALSO love graphic design and pottery. Soooo crazy.”

These kinds of communities are, in general, easier to form online than IRL. Even as a college student with plenty of people around me, it can feel a bit isolating to have niche-ish interests and few people to share them with. https://jordisbraindump.substack.com/p/internet-archetypes

That being said—maybe you just need to be the first to put the idea out there. Maybe you should be the one to create that graphic design-pottery-skydiving club… you’ll never know if you don’t try.

[calif0rnia-lovers]

dating johnny cruz would include

a/n: it's official, this is just turning into a soft Mayans page. left out the kisses because there's a type of kisses post comin

request: can we get dating coco? mayans masterlist

rating:💙

Check out the others I’ve done so far?: Dating Angel Reyes + Dating Ezekiel Reyes + Dating Obispo Losa

✦ to Coco, love is foreign territory--he's still learning to navigate the waters

✧ for the longest time, he was never on the receiving end of it

✦ that's why his love for the club is so strong. his brothers have loved him wholeheartedly, regardless of his past mistakes--so he's given them the same love in return

✧ in the past, sex was the extent of Coco's connection with women.

✦ quick and messy, gone the moment it's done--he never promised something more, never searched for it either.

✧ but there are moments when he's with Leticia that he finds himself thinking about wanting more

✦ he knows what she's grown up with--and although she's good at putting on a tough exterior she shouldn't have to.

✧ there are moments when he wants her to know the unconditional love of a mother

✦ although he believes Leticia deserves unconditional love, Coco doesn't believe he deserves the same

✧ so he doesn't go searching for it--it's brought to him courtesy of Leticia

✦ like Coco, she's perceptive--she notices the way he looks at you and goes out her way to make sure the two of you just "happen" to run into each other

✧ Leticia Cruz a.k.a. Miss "oh shit, I just remember I gotta go meet Gabi" and bolting before either of you can object

✦ in the beginning, he'll test you--so get ready--he's used to people leaving--why not help them do it?

✧ it'll come out of the blue, the moment he starts to feel himself getting comfortable with you

✦ he'll pick a fight, say how you're wasting your time, how you deserve someone's who's not as fucked up in the head

✧ he'll leave, expecting you to be gone when he comes back--nip that shit in the bud real quick

✦ wait for him to come home--pop up at the clubhouse if you really want to get your point across

✧ let him know that you're here to stay--and not to pull a stunt like that again--he'll silently nod, eyes dropping as you place a kiss against his cheek.

✦ but he won't ever try it again.

✧ remembers the smallest of things about you, and makes a point to show interest in things you're passionate about

✦ he learns more about his daughter when you're around, and the dates the two of you plan together--he still remembers the first time she came home gushing to him about the art gallery the two of you went to while he was away

✧ Coco isn't the biggest fan of PDA--he'll dial back a lot when he's around the club--so don't take offense

✦ his PDA comes through subtle touches and kisses

✧ soft kisses against your forehead, his hand squeezing yours before he leaves

✦ kisses against your temple as you stop to wrap your arms around his waist for a quick hug

✧ behind closed doors, that's when his true affection comes out--the invasion of personal space is the first sign.

✦ his arms around your waist, lips pressing against your neck and shoulders as you shuffle through the kitchen--head in your lap as you read, or watch tv

✧ a sucker for cuddles--little spoon? meet Mr. Don't Knock It Til You Try It

✦ that shit works wonders on him when he's stressed--you can find him that way on nights when he's feeling off

✧ loves to hold you against his chest

✦ most nights when you're lying on the sofa, head against his chest he has to carry you to bed

✧ run your fingers through his hair, please--if you don't then you don't deserve johnny coco cuz

✦ always mumbles in protest, but never pulls away--lets you braid it, run your fingers through it, massage his scalp--won't come out and say it, but he's a total sucker for it

✧ midnight conversations--laying face to face

✦ his hand tracing the curve of your hip, his eyes ghosting the features of your face

✧ most of the time they're about meaningless things, sometimes they're about the past or the future you want together, the things weighing heavy on his mind

✦ these are his favorite moments--he misses them the most when he's away, so they pick up over facetime--he'll stay on till you fall asleep

✧ Coco has trouble sleeping at times--one thing he loves about the club is sometimes it runs him ragged. before you, nights, where he would come home and pass out from exhaustion, were his favorite. less time to think

✦ he has nightmares--his inner demons resurfacing--he'll fall back to sleep, head resting against your chest, arm tight around you as you place soft kisses against his forehead

✧ on nights when he's restless, you two take late-night drives--lost beneath the wind and night sky

✦ he's a little too cautious the first time he gives you a ride on his bike--grins when you tell him to go faster

✧ he's an early riser--you'll wake up to your favorite cup of coffee/tea, breakfast made.

✦ it's nothing grand, he's not a great cook, but it's a gesture to say thank you for all you do for him and Leticia

✧ "hey, got you something." -- he's famous for pulling a gift for you out of his kutte pocket. they're never big or planned. they're often things that make him think of you when he's on a club run.

✦ date nights are nothing fancy--it's time for you two to unwind--alone time is what he's shooting for

✧ 80 percent of the time he'll bring Leticia along

✦ hickeys left against his skin as you two lay in the sunlight creeping through the living room window

✧ comfortable silence--that's how he knew you were the one, he knows hard it is to find someone you can simply be alone with

✦ pictures snapped--Coco has learned the importance of seeing the beauty in the world, he believes it can often be captured by a lens

✧ he often takes pictures of you--you beneath the sunlight, smiling while you whisper over ice cream with Leticia, you lying beneath the sheets on a lazy Saturday morning

✦ unplanned surprise but strategically planned on his part weekend getaways

✧ teaches you how to play pool, just so he can watch you kick everyone's asses

✦ you and Leticia convincing him it's not a safety hazard to take you both to target practice

✧ bike lessons--has a way of making you feel as though no matter many times you mess up, you're still doing a great job

✦ him respecting--and being thankful--for your girl time with Leticia. he knows there are just something's she'll never come to him for

✧ he makes a point to be there when you ask him to be home for dinner--he's trying to build family traditions

*as always, let me know if you want to be added/removed from tags*

all stories tags: @wiccanmetallicrose @themarkblues @gemini0410 @binooo98 @the-jer-bear @abbiesthings @trhett21 @trulysuccubus @leahnicole1219 @starrynite7114 @awkwardtayler @toni9 @queenbeered @kaystacks17 @thesandbeneathmytoes @richonne4life @cocotheclown @oscars-wifeyyy @jennisdirtyimagines @ughdontbeboring @myakai13 @linziland13 @sadeyesgf @brattyfics @sincerelykas @ladyofsoa @pearlkitten33 @tian-monique @megapeacelovemusic-blog

mayans tags:

@appropriate-writers-name @rosieposie0624 @jjwriter23 @briskywalker @princesspeachypeach @cind-in-real-life @rocketqueen @brownsugarcoffy @chibsytelford @maybeisthemoon @jatriciaaa @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo @chellybear98 @silverstarsandsuns @henrycavill19 @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @mayansxlover @holl2712 @pedropcl

@inyourbackpocketisbutterflies

[encounterthepast]

Thoughts on the Mayans MC season 3 premiere

- Coco's desperation for drugs and the way he has seemingly lost focus on family and Letty is so sad. It mirrors the story of so many people but with the added danger and violence that his short temper would always ignite. I feel he's going to really struggle but I hope someone notices!

- I am amazed how many women are supporting Angel. The woman he loves is being held somewhere and they have both lost their child (her more viscerally) and what he's doing is cheat on her and bury himself in other women. People have also excused it as they 'weren't in a relationship' but let's be honest they were, maybe not a conventional one but in reality not all relationships look like the typical. given that she is going through much worse it's self centered and shows how incapable he is of commitment. I've seen people say 'oh but he's hurting' - he is but that doesn't mean his actions are acceptable. And those who say its ok because he's hot??? This is Angel's character reverting to type after seeming to grow beyond that.

- Adelita. I wasn't a huge fan of Adelita previously. She was single minded to the point of risking the lives of others and she put guns in the hands of children. I felt she could have been very dark if it meant she got what she wanted - a bit like Miguel. BUT oh wow did I feel for her. Her child was ripped away, she was tortured, her organisation has morphed into something she doesn't recognise and everything she fought to build has collapsed. Here I think she will be doubly disappointed by Angel, for his cheating and she asked him to keep it all going. She sacrificed herself to keep it all working. It's not Angel's fault but I think she will feel let down. We're going to see her struggle but I think she's too strong to be down and out.

- I see everyone loving Gaby and her caring for Felipe but to me it betrays her youth and naivety. It is not a usual thing to invite yourself in and take a place in someone's life and family. Sure Felipe needs it but she's kind of ... intruding on lives she doesn't know about and thinking she can build a happy family. It's a bit of a saviour complex and idealistic.

- given that JD Pardo said he doesn't want the MC to touch Gaby or change her innocence it suggests that this season at least we won't see that dichotomy breakdown and the two worlds collide. .... That's a guess.

- My heart broke for Miguel, he was so vulnerable. He did then turn that into murderous rage but that's the key to his character. I felt super sorry for Paco and I was worried about his kid.

- is he cheating for the sake of business only?

,- Also worried about the therapists dog but very relieved it didn't get hurt.

- Emily is being even more incapable and I think Miguel is going to lose patience. I do not trust her sister.

- the plan EZ set out is ambitious and reflects his growing character. He spent a lifetime being told he was special and meant to do big things. He clearly had ambition. That hasn't left him but he is deploying it in another forum. I think there's personal ambition too - if Santo Padre has all the power then as he rises he will have more power.

- how are they going to move a massive amount of heroin? I assume EZ has a plan.

- Bishop seemed so collected and patient previously and I guess the situation with the border has pushed his stress levels too far. He's right that they need SP but the whole thing relies on the Tucson connection working. What if they can't get the supply? What if Tucson are too weak? If this all goes belly up Bishop will take the heat. If it works EZ will get the praise. EZ's story is suggesting he will rise in the club but that can only happen if those at the top fall.

The whole show seems darker but that's the line they've been selling for weeks. Last season ended with so many questions, we haven't really got any answers only found more questions.

[riordanverse-dorphin]

If all the main characters of RR and RR Presents meet? How would they interact?

I have! So many thoughts about this!!

Nizhoni, Aru, & Zane would all have lightning weapons so they’d compare

Aru would give them rides on Vajra

I call them the Lightning Weapons Squad, they’d be best friends, & I love them

If Tristan mentioned needing someone to practice boxing with Nizhoni would volunteer in a heartbeat

Idk how easy boxing is to pick up but I can see them being boxing bros

Brynne & Tristan def have a friendly boxing vs wrestling rivalry

Min, Brooks, & Brynne have a shapeshifters club

Min doesn’t get to be in her fox form much so she’s having a great time

Then Mini brings up the food chain & “don’t hawks eat foxes or something” and now it’s just awkward

When he first sees Jun Mac thinks he’s still on fire & tries to put him out

It doesn’t work but Jun’s touched that he tried

Tristan & Mac bond over comic books

Mac tries to get her to back him up bc Spider-Man is absolutely the best superhero

But Aru’s worried they’ll call her a fake fan or whatever for not reading the comics so she pretends to think comics are stupid

Aventura ni ni ni’s her

Sal & Gabi canonically read End of Time, & prossibly others, so they might accidentally weird people out at first

Zane, Brooks, & Ren (especially Ren) befriend them bc they’re more used to their adventures being published

Gabi befriends Min bc she’s very impressed that Min has a job

They both have that “I’m not a rule breaker but I end up breaking the rules a lot” vibe

Also Gabi would lose her mind over the Dragon Pearl

Min gets everybody to play a baduk tournament

She wins but Sheela (who plays baduk online a lot) comes close

I hc that Yasmany’s been kinda interested in medical stuff ever since he wrote that paper on diabetes

He & Mini end up talking a bunch

She’s glad for the chance to infodump & Yasmany likes listening too her

Sheela and Yasmany would have the sweetest friendship okay

They’d gossip about everyone’s love lives & Yasmany would show Sheela dance moves

Aventura & Nikita being fashion buddies tho

Nikita has that stereotypical “my chlothes are better than yours” fashion designer additude & Aventura very much does not

So I could def see Nikita admiring & looking up too Aventura

Or they’d hate each other who knows

When Min brings up Charm all the Pandavas start elbowing Aiden & trying to get him to bring up the Smoulder

He doesn’t

Brynne and Gabi would be best friends I’m right

Davery kinda reminds me of Eddie so I could see him & Tristan getting along

Nizhoni, Davery, & Tristan would be a friend group

Idk why but I get the sense that Brooks doesn’t talk much in big groups

Mac is probably used to being in the background (he seems like a quiet kid too) so he would go talk to her

Mini too but I feel like Brooks & Mac would have a nice friendship

[multimetaverse]

DOAFP 1x08 Review

Matters of Diplomacy was a great and dramatic ep that exploded the tensions at the core of the show’s story lines. Let’s dig in!

It was a wise choice for ep 8 to be just a day later than ep 7 in universe as it allows the momentum and tensions built in ep 7 to carry forward to ep 8. We see different types of relationships being tested tonight: the platonic friendship between Elena and Sasha, the crush/platonic friendship between Bobby and Liam, and the romantic relationship between Gabi and Sam

Bobby’s story line took big strides forward tonight. I think by the end of this ep even the most casual of viewers will have clued in that Bobby is gay and likes Liam; nothing has technically been said aloud but that kind of jealousy is unmistakable. Bobby and Gabi’s story lines share some parallels tonight as it was Bobby and Gabi who made sure that Liam and Sam would be at the dance and the dinner and it was Bobby and Gabi who mess things up

For Bobby it has been all of a day since he had a moment with Liam and he’s still giddy over the tennis ball trophy Liam gave him and Elena’s talk about the dance being where true feelings are revealed clearly got him hoping that if he and Liam went to the dance that something may happen. And that talk with the married gay hairdresser gave him a bit of a confidence boost

Among the many cool things this show has done so far is to feature both adult and kid lgbtq characters and actually have them interact like we saw with Cami and Bobby in ep 7 and Bobby and the hairdresser in ep 8. It’s nice that Bobby has these in universe role models and if the show goes on long enough I’d expect Cami to help Bobby

I was shocked that Bobby lashing out included an actual physical fight. In many ways though it is true to the teenage experience where wild mood swings and poor decision making skills are common. We’ve seen Bobby get frustrated or upset before but never this angry and for such a chill guy as Bobby to get so aggressive really shows the depths of his feelings and confusion and disappointment

I also want to commend the show for writing Bobby as such an active character and for giving him an established hobby and supporting characters dedicated to his story line. On Andi Mack we saw Cyrus get jealous but he was never allowed to act on that jealousy like Bobby does and he was certainly never allowed to get angry even when it would have been the realistic response and he was usually a passive character. The fatal flaw in Cyrus’ story line was that he was never given a hobby or team or club of his own so when his sexuality story line was being heavily censored or when the writers were screwing things up there was nothing to fall back on. At least with Bobby they can always fall back on tennis related plots if things go downhill and that will make a world of difference in making Bobby seem like an actual main character

I’ve said from the start that I don’t think Cartero is mutual and the dance did nothing to change that. The symbolism of Liam not wanting to stop slow dancing with a girl and go off with Bobby isn’t subtle. Certainly Bobby’s anger was caused in part by being hit in the face with the fact that Liam is straight. I’ve been surprised that so many people in this fandom who have come from the Andi Mack fandom have been comparing Cartero and Tyrus when all the evidence points to Cartero being the Jyrus of doafp. As I said in an ask last week, the dance serves the same function for Bobby as seeing Jonah ask Andi out at the Space Otters dinner served for Cyrus

I think for doafp it would be wise to separate Bobby’s sexuality story line from his ship story line in any analysis of the show. Cyrus’ sexuality story line was much less censored than his ship story line with TJ and in part that’s because Disney had less of a problem showing Cyrus with a hopeless crush on a clearly straight boy then they did with showing him with a requited crush on another gay kid. And of course there was never any problem showing Cyrus dating Iris. There’s a reason why Cyrus could talk about his crush on Jonah several times but never once got to talk about his crush on TJ and why Cyrus could say the word gay when coming out to Jonah but Cyrus and TJ had to have a silent handhold when they came out to each other. I expect Bobby coming out to his friends and family and using the word gay will be much less censored and drawn out then it was on Andi Mack but I think Bobby actually dating a boy is going to be much harder for the show to depict if they’re renewed. Hell even Seblos which is the only canon gay ship on Disney + has had several of their scenes cut in two different eps

There’s a saying that history doesn’t repeat but it does rhyme and I can only hope that Brandon Severs Jr doesn’t become the Joshua Rush of the doafp fandom. It’s great that he ships Cartero and wants to promote the show but he’s not just another fan and can’t act like one. In the Andi Mack fandom there were lines being blurred and crossed by actors and writers and it made things messy and unpleasant and I really don’t want to see that happen with doafp. I’m sure Brandon means well but people will take his tweets and likes as hints for the show’s future and as of now the show itself and his tweets are telling very different stories It’s one thing to support Cartero but so far there’s no evidence that Liam is gay and there’s never been a bisexual character on Disney before so unless ep 10, which is the only Liam ep left, has an unprecedented twist all this hyping he’s doing will end up being somewhat baity

I’m glad Sasha stood up to Elena who has really been a bad friend to her lately. Of all the relationships that took a hit this ep it’s Elena and Sasha’s friendship that has been around the longest which makes this fight all the more painful to witness. It looks like this conflict will play out through their school trip to Tallahassee and I hope Elena really makes it up to Sasha somehow. Also interesting to see Jessica back in the mix; she’s making up with Sasha but not Elena while at the same time not having atoned for her ditching them in the first place. As always it’s refreshing to see this show so openly tackle the reality of puberty and not shy away from discussing periods and body hair 

Gabi and Sam truly are hetero goals. I like the focus on the adult problems we’re getting on the show. In some ways their conflict has the highest stakes and there’s not going to be an easy solution moving forward. For Gabi this must be a nightmare of sorts, watching Sam play the same role Robert did and worrying that it might end the same way. Sam was right in saying that he’s been going along with what Gabi wanted but that he’s a part of this relationship as well. We know Gabi flees Miami next week and drives Elena to Tallahassee so we’ll see if she decides that she’s ready to try and move forward with Sam or if she’s not ready

We learned tonight that Elena and Bobby don’t speak Spanish which suggests that Robert didn’t speak it either. We also learn that Robert was shyer than Sam (and I guess Bobby is named after Robert). Also get a nice little continuity nod with Francisca believing the same story about Iguanas in toilets that Liam’s grandmother believed 

I really like that Disney + lets characters get away with saying what the hell and pissed off, it’s so much more natural than having kids with squeaky clean vocabs

I really enjoy seeing Elena pine after Joey when he’s just this dweeby kid

Elena and Bobby have such a true to life sibling relationship

The Beluga whale song prank was a good one imo

Looking Ahead:

If you’re on twitter and instagram there’s already a campaign to get the show renewed and might as well start it now when there’s still some hope

Monyca seems to have clued in that Bobby cares more about Liam than her and I hope she dumps him. Setting aside his sexuality, Bobby just hasn’t been a very good boyfriend

Looks like the last two eps take places in a fairly short span as Elena is on the school trip for both eps. I’m very excited to see how all these plots resolve, especially Bobby’s. Hopefully the show gets renewed as it really is something special

[grasslandgirl]

#5 for the fanfiction day asks? <3

ty maggieeeee <3

5. What’s your favorite headcanon you use in fics?

hm. that really depends on the fics i’m writing? like i have different headcanons for different fics, kind of obviously lmao but here’s a rundown of a couple of the top ones for the big things i write for:

fantasy high: every one’s bisexual except for kristen who’s a lesbian <3 i do also accept ace and aro hcs for riz and adaine especially but None Of Them Are Straight <3 also i recognize that gorgug canonically listens to like rage screamo music but respectfully to brennan and zac. No He Doesn’t <3 indie gorgug or death <3 also also short fig rights, chubby adaine rights. i’m right and brilliant

the penumbra podcast: ok i know i’ve said this to you before maggie, and i know that canonically peter is skinny and tall and juno is shorter and stocky but like. hear me out. fat nureyev and skinny juno. nureyev who is used to the finer things, used to taking what he wants and that includes food. let the con man homme fatale be fat, you COWARDS. skinny juno who grew up always giving the bigger portion to ben and who ignores his health and wellbeing far more often than he should, juno who gives away too much of himself always

the magnus archives: this isn’t so much a headcanon as a part of canon that people refuse to accept, but. martin is a bitch. he’s a bitch and i love him so much. stop making him so nice, people! he’s unfailingly polite as a COPING MECHANISM for TRAUMA. hes a bitch <3

american vandal: peter is a homosexual. sam is an adhd king. you can rip sam as puck in a midsummer nights out of my cold dead hands. gabi “bisexual” granger. dylan maxwell king of the eldonado fan club. ganj is a lesbian

the adventure zone: this is more of an anti-headcanon than anything but like. i recognize that canonically everything taako drinks tastes like lime gogurt. i also think that’s horrifying and abhorrent and i refuse to acknowledge it. 

thank you for coming to my ted talk

send me fanfic asks!!

[curious-minx]

October 2010s Music Deep Dive!

A mock up poster for the only possible music festival line-up I would be willing to risk my life attending. Tony Allen’s passing has caused the entire Octoberfest to be cancelled indefinitely, but all proceeds from ticks will be given back to the community. 

Hope all of you special nobodies and overblown somebodies reading this right now are having a smashing start your first o November. All last month I had taken it upon myself to listen to as many albums and fragments of albums released sometime during the month of October spanning the entire 10’s decade, 2010 through 2019. This is all probably a result of drinking too much dead water, Quarantine brain, undiagnosed Autism, magical thinking and the death of boredom. I have created a Spotify playlist sporting 25 hours and 4 minutes worth of music with an arbitrary amount of albums getting multiple songs, but largely one song/album. This project did create a sense of madness because of the volume of music that gets cranked out. How can we expect anyone to properly criticize music when it is nearly impossible to keep up with it all? I largely culled these albums from Allmusic’s Editorial Choice section, but I did have to use Rateyourmusic to fill out the hip-hop and R&B gaps. In gathering up all of this music I am attempting to see if spooky music was relegated to the October season and any other possible trends. Even though October has been laid to rest her swelling calendar breast still contains a treasure trove of music worth discussing. Grab your broom, sharpen your heels and get the cobwebs out of your ears because we’re going on a Deep Dive! 

//////

The 2010s Old Souls and Musical Auteurs 

I consider any musician or band that endures more than a decade worthy of this veteran label. Music biz lifers seem found solace in the October release schedule. A trend that has carried onto the new decade with October 2020 offering revitalized releases by Elvis Costello and Bruce Springsteen reunited with the E Street Band. All three main members of Sonic Youth, Moore, Gordon and Renaldo are still harnessing that spooky Bad Moon Rising energy and carrying it over into their solo releases. 

KIM GORDON’s NO RECORD HOME

The first truly proper solo album by Kim Gordon following up her pretty good noise rock releases under the Body/Head moniker with Bill Nace. No Record Home towers over Thurston Moore and Lee Renaldo’s mostly okay solo releases because of how truly experimental and refreshingly modern sounding No Record Home is. This album sounds like it could easily have come out from a young Pacific Northwest Trip-Angle (RIP) label upstart. Instead, Gordon is defiantly aging gracefully and remains an all around important feminist voice in experimental rock music. No Record Home did not pop up on a lot of “Best of the Year” lists in 2019, nor did Gordon embark on any kind of touring for the release. I am hoping that more people will eventually discover this great album and realize that Gordon was truly the best, most truly experimental aspect of Sonic Youth. Her vocals on this album are the best she’s ever sounded because she built these songs and sounds with the intergral collaborator, producer Justin Raisen. A glimpse at Raisen’s Wikipedia page is a who’s who of great artists of the past decade: Yves Tumor, Charli XCX, and Sky Ferreira. The collaboration occurred at an AirBnB shared between Gordon and Raisen and birthed the first single of the project “Air BnB.” A song that completely sets the tone of the album and features one of those amazing music videos in the same line us Young Thug’s “Wyclef Jean. “

Björk - Biophilia

Can you name the last album the rolled out with its own app? Nine years have come and gone and I certainly can’t think of another album with such wholesome ambitions. Björk was getting passionate about ecological concerns in her native Icelandic home with Sigur Ros and using her sphere of influence to try to good. 2014 the app has found a permanent home in the MOMA, but outside of this curio status the album itself is still a worthwhile addition to the Björk canon. Biophilia finds Björk in musical scientist mode using sounds captured from a Tesla coil and making a whole musical universe onto herself. The rest of the 2010s found Björk going for bigger and more ambitious projects that continue to frustrate those who wish she would go back to her poppier roots. She remains one of those most consistent solo artists around and someone no one will be able to predict what she does next. The only thing is certain is that it will be visionary and will probably include a wildly ambitious rollout and a new piece of physical art like Biophilia’s $800 tuning forks.

NENEH CHERRY - BROKEN POLITICS

Featuring production duties for the second time from Four Tet (who also pops up in the October playlist with his 2013 album Beautiful Rewind). Broken Politics in Cherry’s words, “is about feeling broken, disappointed, and sad, but having perseverance. It’s a fight against the extinction of free thought and spirit.” The music video for single “Natural Skin Deep” was filmed in Beirut, a backdrop made even more painful given 2020’s Explosion. Cherry is an artist with deep spiritual and blood connections with artists central to jazz’s history. Broken Politics also features songs built around Ornette Coleman samples. This is all to say that Neneh Cherry is always going to be someone tapping into a creative cosmic vein that spans generations, and with that comes a hard wisdom. Two years later we’re still dealing with the same god damn guts and guns of history. 

OTHER NOTABLES:

(Cat Power - The Wanderer; John Cale - Shifty Adventures in Nookie Wood; Tony Allen - Film of Life ; Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Psychedelic Pill ;Bryan Ferry - Olympia; Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Ghosteen ;Yoko Ono - Warzone; Vashti Bunyan - Heartleap; Elvis Costello & The Imposters - Look Now; The Chills - Silver Bullets; Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright In The End;Laurie Anderson - Heart of A Dog;Janet Jackson - Unbrekable;The Mercury Rev - Light In You;  Rocketship - Thanks To You; Van Dyke Parks & Gaby Moreno - Spangled; Donald Fagen - Sunken Condos; Prefab Sprout - Crimson Red; Pere Ubu - 20 Years in a Montana Missile Silo; Negativland - True False )

/////

TRILOGY OF BLACKSTARS

Three last albums released by three titans of 20th century songwriting. Two of them follow the trajectory of an older artist getting rejuvenated by a younger backing band. Lulu is beyond a meme at this point and is considered one of the most confounding flops since Metallic Music. Like Metallic Music, Lulu will get a reappraisal and find its audience. Mr. Blackstar himself Bowie considered  Lulu one of his favorite releases. “Junior Dad” alone makes this album a worthy addition in Lou Reed’s discography. Scott Walker invited some similarly hairy and intense younger rock studs into his private castle and pulls off a far more natural combination. Soused fits like a velvet glove on a elegant corpse hand swirling thick slabs of guitar and demonic percussion. Scott Walker effortlessly orchestrates between elegance and moribundity whereas Lulu wallows and thrashes against  the ugly riffage. 

No riffs or oozing wall of sound are  anywhere to be found on the sparse and pointedly elegiac You Want it Darker. Leonard Cohen never went full on sleazy I’m Your Man ever again but he didn’t become adult contemporary either. You Want It Darker finds Leonard and his son Adam Cohen. When Leonard passed away he was the only one to get a full David Bowie like museum tribute, Lou Reed only got a corner of a library. Cohen is far and away the most accessible mystical Jewish Buddhist monk with a penchant for fedoras and having a masked man with a leather belt beat him in the recording booth [citation needed]. You Want It Darker is the only one of these mortality laden kiss offs to win a Grammy. I do wonder if Cohen would have ever allowed a more adventurous production to touch his staid and timeless old fashioned sound. Tom Scharpling divides Leonard Cohen into his Pre-Fedora and Post-Fedora days. If you are being literal about that demarcation that still gives you a pretty vast body of music I just want sad bloated blurry black and white Leonard Cohen with a banana or the smiling cad on Songs of Love and Hate. Even the floppy fedora era has worthwhile albums and he sounds like if Serge Gainsbourgh was a muppet Gargoyle, he’s reliable. I will always beat myself for not buying that official Leonard Cohen raincoat at the Jewish Museum Leonard Cohen exhibit, but I hope someone has and they are finding comfort with Cohen’s music. A lot of his latter day period is comforting in a sardonic sexy mind bending nursing home sort of way. 

I am glad that these men were ultimately spared from having to deal with Covid times and even someone as tasteless as Brian Wilson’s Ghost can acknowledge that it’s more important than ever to keep your elderly loved ones locked away in a well ventilated pod. 

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(INSERT ARTIST HERE) SEASON

For a few sticky sweet select few artists the month of October proved to be a suitable release launch pad for more than one album. The Mountain Goats and clipping. have just joined the October two-timer club this year. The reigning queen of October releases is Taylor Swift and Adrianne Lenker. In chronological order swift released Speak Now, Red and 1989 probably Swift’s biggest run in terms of critical and commercial success. None of these albums have a particularly big place in my heart, in fact speaking on behalf of Brian Wilson’s Ghost Ltd. I’m not the biggest fan of America’s Sweetheart, Sweet Tea Poet Laureate.  All three of these albums all came out in the latter part of October and based on the Target brand synergy roll-out felt as inevitable as pumpkin spice. Haunted. Sad Beautiful Tragic. Out of the Woods. These are either song titles taken from these three albums are the names of the under utilized Romantic Halloween Horror Comedy genre. Lady Gaga might have been spooking it up on American Horror Story, but Swift gives a far more chilling performance in Tom Hooper’s midnight madness of Cats and I could envision Swift excelling really well as a horror film actor. Especially in a role like Scarlett Johansson’s Under the Skin. 

You cannot get more polar opposite from Swift than Adrianne Lenker. Who released her first solo album abysskiss   and the second Big Thief album of 2019 Two Hands. Lenker will have also gone on to make her third October release this year with her second solo album songs & instrumentals. Striking that such a ghostly autumnal band would have only released one album in October, but autumnal feeling albums are not beholden to release calendars. The song “Not” from the Big Thief album Two Hands is a watershed breakthrough moment for the band and put Lenker and her band on the map. In 2019 Big Thief became a band that could get booked onto a Goodmorning American performance slot and more or less made Big Thief one of the rare 2010s indie bands to become more or less a household name. 

Other notable artists to have released more than one album on October 2010s:

Less notable artists to have multiple October releases: James Blunt Korn

Calvin Harris 

Kings of Leon

Pentatonix 

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FORMER HARBINGERS OF HYPE

These are October releases from artists that once felt like whenever they put out an album a wider array of outlets and publications seemed to care more and would spill more digital ink over them. The big three artists that had the biggest drop off in attention and acclaim that stick out to me the most are Titus Andronicus,  Justice and Why? All three artists debuted with strong starts back in the aughts, but according to critical reception more or less crashed and burned. Titus Andronicus’ Local Business was one of the last times Titus Andronicus would get positive marks from Pitchfork. Local Business a fun and shaggy follow-up to one of the most self-serious concept albums of the 2010s. 

Justice’s Audio, Video, Disco similarly is a follow up to a highly acclaimed album that set the bar high enough to doom Justice into never living up to the hype. Justice’s 2007 s/t heralded them as the next Daft Punk, but unlike those soulful and thoughtful robots Justice mainly wanted to make big ridiculous unfashionable synth prog rock. Audio, Video, Disco is simply cheesy fun and even though we live in a world better off without parties and gatherings this album helps you feel like you are in high-def IMAX monster mash on the moon. 

The leaves us with Why?’s Mump’s Etc. an album that already had the job of following up an already divisive follow up record Eskimo Snow. Why’s Alopecia is a really important 2008 indie blog rap album that helped thrust the online indie blogs into the hip-hop genre hybrid experimentalism. Why? would never make another universally beloved album again and with Mump’s Etc. ended up permanently in Pitchfork’s hate pit. In the original release review the Pitchfork writer essentially deems this album an act of “career suicide.” The whole review is essentially an assignation of Why?’s figurehead Yoni Wolf and taking him to task for all of his awkward lyrical blunders and the fact he is narcissistic enough to be a musician writing about his career in a meta fashion. Yet when I listen to Mump’s Etc. I am more or less enjoying Yoni Wolf’s personality and find the whole thing to be pretty charming. A perfectly serviceable 3.5/5 release that a media outlet like Pitchfork turns into a flexing opportunity to show how that they have the power to make or break a career. 

A.C. Newman, an artist who appears on this playlist with his terrific 2012 Shut Down The Streets took to Twitter to scoff at the idea that a good Pitchfork review has done anything for his career. Shut Down The Streets currently remains the last solo album Newman has released under his name choosing to focus on his main gig with the New Pornographers. The Internet based hype machine is even more ADHD addled and twitchier by the day. The joy of doing this deep dive allowed me to revisit a lot of these artists and acts that I had fallen out of touch with. I had completely forgotten about King of Convenience’s Erlend Øye who released the album Legao in 2014. I rediscovered a good deal of bands like the Editors, The Dodos, Kisses, Black Milk, Crocodiles, Empire of the Sun, Juana Molina, Jagwar Ma, Here We Go Magic, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., YACHT, Peaking Lights, The Twilight Sad, Elf Power, Swet Shop Boys, Radio Dept, Allo’ Darlin, Foxes In Fiction, and HOMESHAKE are all bands not trying to change the world or challenge listeners with avant garde experimentation. Instead I feel like I maintaining relationships with old friends on the edge of obscurity. 

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A HISTORY OF CHRISTMAS IN OCTOBER 

A tradition stretching back as far as 2014 not October’s Idina Menzel’s Holiday Wishes, but Seth McFarland’s Holiday For Swing sweatily released on CD, digital, and vinyl on September 30, 2014.  2015 then brings us a Chris Tomlin and Ru Paul Christmas albums because every force of Neo-liberal good must be balanced with evangelical contemporary Christian music *shutters.* 2016 finds the Christmas in October era reaching a complete and utter nadir with R. Kelly’s final official LP 12 Nights of Christmas and A Pentatonix Christmas, but also buffered by Kacey Musgrave’s Christmas. 2017 only had time for Gwen Stefani’s You Make It Feel Like Christmas and no one else could evoke this feeling in October. On 2018, Michelle and Barack Obama’s combined one and only Christmas wish comes true, no not cancelling those drone strikes, but getting John Legend to join the October release jamboree; Eric Clapton claps open his guitar’s butt cheeks and hatefully squats out a half assed Xmas album defiantly opening the album with “White Christmas” [eyeroll emoji]; and finally 2018 found the Pentatonix announcing in October that Christmas Is Here. I apologize for all of that crude butt talk about the hateful racist Eric Clapton, but(t) I have festive gluteus Maximus on the mind, because in 2019 Norah Jones got her alternative country gal trio back together to remind us to shake our Christmas butts. Eat shit commercial shit, today’s Santa’s birthday! That’s the magic of the October release schedule! 

The hallowed Christmas in October tradition continues on in 2020 with Dolly I-Beg-Thee-Pardon  releasing A Holly Dolly Christmas right on time on October 2, 2020 (Carrie Underwood missed the memo and unwraps her unwanted My Gift in September 2020). Meghan Trainor, Goo Goo Dolls, and Tori Kelly released Christmas albums. Can you believe Seth MacFarlane comes up twice in this article, because his sleazy J. Michigan Frog croon is processed and grated like Parmesan cheese snow flakes all over a rendition of White Christmas.  What a time to be alive! 

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WHERE DID THEY GO?

A Brief Case For Class Actress’s Rapproacher

Among my October music travels I encountered one artist that really impressed me with her proper LP debut Rapprocher. The trio fronted by Elizabeth Vanessa Harper is essentially peddling the kind of competent moody 80’s inspired synth pop that belongs on a lost Donnie Darko sequel. Harper’s vocals are striking and expressive and they are melded with constantly propulsive bed of shiny synths and glossy barely-there gated percussion. Outside of an 2015  EP called Movies featuring exciting production contributions from Italo-disco icon Giorgio Moroder there has been nothing else from Class Actress. Highly recommend you check them out especially if you want to find the sweet spot between Chromatics and Kylie Minogue. 

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THE OCTOBER 2010s MASTERPIECES 

(Robyn - Honey, Big K.R.I.T. - 4eva is a Mighty Long Time  ,Miguel -  Kaleidoscope Dream, Crying - Beyond The Fleeting Gale , M83 Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming ,SRSQ - Unreality, Sufjan Stevens - age of adz, Joanna Newsom - divers, VV Brown Samson and Delilah, Kelela - tear me apart , Neon Indian - VEGA Intl., Fever Ray - Plunge , Antony and The Johnsons - Swanlights (goodbye album) , Caroline Polachek - Pang , Sky Ferreira - Night Time, My Time . Bat For Lashes  Haunted Man, James Ferraro - Far Side Virtual , Grouper -  Ruins , Kero Kero Bonito -Bonito Generation , DJ Rashad - Double Cup)

Maybe if I surround this VV Brown album with more well known artists she’ll finally get some more clicks? I should also mention that Joanna Newsom’s Divers is nowhere on my Spotify October Music playlist because Joanna Newsom thinks Spotify is bananas, and she hates bananas. I know I should also mention Kendrick Lamar’s good kid, m.A.A.d city and Tame Impala’s Lonerism. That’s the maddening thing about October music that just when you think you covered all your ground you find another hidden hump underneath the carpet.  I feel remiss without mentioning striking debut and instant hidden gem Tinashe’s Aquarius, which did you know has a new album art on Spotify. Death Grip’s No Love Deep Web. T_T I didn��t even get around to making a big verbal mosaic to Thom Yorke’s witchy Suspiria soundtrack.Corpus Christi! I forgot to highlight The Orb album in the collage with my other veteran artists!  As you can see this project nearly ruined me. I did not necessarily listen to all of these albums from front to back, but I did listen all of the songs on the playlist and chose them from the immense collection of October releases. I am pretty sure this is the kind of content for no one in particular but I really needed to get it out of my system. Let’s meet back up October 2030!!!!!

(Thank you to my beloved partner, best friend and Spotify provider Maddie Johnson XD)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7sdLaNNaqWpKEKXRZ3jNqY?si=SLZxUwLMQYOQ5wA1xuZc7w

[purplesurveys]

987

survey by shamegmeg

Have you ever cut your own hair? I’ve trimmed my own bangs but that’s it. I feel like doing anything to my hair altogether on my own is too big a move and would have bigger consequences if I fuck it up (which I definitely will end up doing).

What do you eat most frequently? Meat - chicken, beef, and pork. It’s in nearly every dish we eat, if not all of them.

Are you a fan of video games? I will always find the topic interesting and I played a fair share of video games growing up, but I’m not an ultra fan of any of the most popular games right now. I do like staying updated with my favorite series like Grand Theft Auto, The Sims, Mario Kart, etc. but it’s rare that I get my hands on the console itself to play. 

What's your favorite color combination? I don’t really think of any specific two colors, but I’m generally a fan of combinations of muted or pastel colors. Anything that doesn’t hurt my eyes too much.

Did you share a locker at school? We didn’t do that; we each had our own.

What's one sport you could never play? Basketball. Never understood the rules and I just never had the stamina for it. I’m also pretty competitive so I feel like I’d be pissed off and take it personally whenever somebody blocks me hahaha.

Blue or black ink? Black. I have nothing against blue though - I just like keeping pens with black ink around more.

Have you ever sang karaoke? Just once or twice. I’m not extroverted enough for it, not even when drunk. I just really hate the sound of my own singing voice, so it doesn’t help if I’m suddenly singing into a microphone.

What was the last concert you attended? Answer’s gonna be unchanged for the meantime, man...Paramore. No complaints naming them every time I’m asked this, though. Let’s hope they’ll also be the next concert I attend, as they like coming back to Manila anyway :))

Have you held anyone's hand in the past week? No.

What's your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? I’ve used Beyoncé’s Heat Rush since high school. I’ve never gotten tired of the scent and pretty much everyone knows me by that perfume now.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Before Covid, it depended on how late I’d get out of bed. If I had the energy to get up earlier, I’d devote 20-30 minutes to getting ready; but if it was a harder morning to face, I’d just take a quick 3-minute shower and wear the first things I see in my closet. These days since I just work from home, all I need to do is shower which takes no more than a few minutes.

What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? I think anyone of any gender of any age (except babies and younger kids) of any background from any walk of life should be allowed to wear makeup...

How old were you when you went on your first date? I was 16.

What's your nationality(ies)? Filipino.

Are you an open book? I can be for the most part since there’s no harm in sharing, but there are a few things that I’m extremely protective and secretive about.

Do you think you're a good secret keeper? Yeah. I used to share secrets with Gab but that’s because she tends to forget easily, but otherwise I have no problem taking secrets with me to my grave.

Name one fashion trend you could never follow. I have never been into wedges. Too chunky-looking.

Do you prefer long hair or short hair? On me? Short. It’s easier to maintain and take care of.

When do you plan to go to sleep tonight? Depends on how tired I am by the end of the day. I did make a cup of coffee today though so the caffeine might also choose to hang out into the evening.

Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yes.

If so, who? Gabie.

What exotic animal would you love to have as a pet? That’s a pass for me. I don’t know their temperament and what they need on a normal day, so I’m really not well-equipped to keep an exotic animal as a pet and I don’t want to end up accidentally killing them or something.

Do you want kids when you're older? At this point in my life I can go with or without them.

Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? I’m definitely grateful for it now, but when I was going through ballet classes as a five year old I absolutely hated it and had no idea what I was doing there. I wish I could tell my five year old self to appreciate it more because now I think it’s pretty cute that my parents wanted me to take up ballet and enrolled me in classes.

Where's your cell phone? It’s just right beside me. It’s always right beside me, haha.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I’ve always been a firm supporter of the egg lol because it had to be an earlier version of the chicken that laid the egg that would ultimately hatch the chicken as we know them today. Idk though, I hate questions like this hahahaha

What are your feelings about Octomom? I don’t know anything more than the fact that she had octuplets, which is awesome and badass in itself.

Do you know of Smosh? I used to LOVE Smosh, like holy shit. I probably talked about them in my earliest surveys a decade ago; simply put I was hooked. Watched every new episode and every new Lunchtime with Smosh/Ian Is Bored video from around maybe 2010-2013 until they started adding more crew members and until their videos started to stray from the content that made them blow up in the first place. I still remember when it was Smosh and Pewdiepie vying for the highest subscriber count on YouTube, haha. Was also sad when Anthony left. Suffice it to say I’ll always hold a fondness for Smosh - Anthony and Ian were my first favorite YouTubers along with Pewdiepie.

Do you drink enough water daily? Some days I do, some days I don’t.

Is your diet healthy? When I do eat my dishes are always a good balance of meat and veggies, but I feel like me skipping most of my meals overshadows that fact and makes my overall diet not-so-healthy.

What's your favorite fruit? The only one I’ve had and not feel like gagging whenever I consume it is avocado. To an extent, tomato too.

What was your favorite Halloween costume? Going as my former best friend, Sofie.

Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? I bought a few trinkets from Japan when I was there, but they were all for my loved ones and I don’t exactly remember what I bought anymore.

Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? Laptop. 

Where do you plan to post this survey? Tumblr, as I’ve always done in the last near-decade or so.

Do you remember anyone's number by heart? My mom’s, sister’s, and Gabie’s.

Are you a morning person or a late night owl? I’m more of a morning person lately because of work and because of the need to be chirpy by 9 AM. Being awake these days makes me sad now, so I avoid staying up late as much as I can; which means my days of being a night owl are over.

Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Coprophagia.

What do you think is your biggest flaw? I’m super competitive, which makes me the suckiest person to have friendly games with. I avoid them altogether so that I don’t end up killing the vibe of whatever crowd I’m with. I’ll own this lol.

First physical trait you notice in the sex you're attracted to? Wouldn’t say I’m automatically attracted to any sex. With everyone though, I tend to notice body language first which kiiinda counts as a physical trait.

How about personality wise? Whether they look approachable/easy to talk to or not.

Are you sick often? Almost never.

Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection? Uh I’d rather not be sick at all hahaha.

When did you last shower? This morning, before work. We have online meetings every Monday morning, and I wanted to look fresh and clean for it.

Do you have neat handwriting? I’d say so. I get a lot of compliments about my penmanship and my friends usually call on me when they need someone with consistent and clean handwriting, so I guess must be holding my pens right.

Are you a messy or organized person? I’d say my workspaces are always organized but my personal space (car, backpack, etc) is messy.

At what age do you hope to get married? By the end of my 20s or early 30s.

Is being thin really all that great? Idk, I feel like the experience differs per person. I don’t have complaints about it for the most part, but it can get annoying when there are certain tops I’d like to wear but will never be able to pull off and thus have to leave on the rack just because my chest is flat or my overall figure is rather tiny.

Which of the seven deadly sins do you think you're most guilty of? Pride.

How much time have you spent on the computer today? 9 hours and counting. WFH is basically being on the computer all day, so that’s a big reason why I’ve racked up so many hours.

What size shoe are you? 6–7.5.

How was the weather today? The sun was out but fortunately it wasn’t all that hot for me to feel uncomfortable. I hate that it was bright all day, though. My disposition is more likely to improve if it’s cloudy and a little gloomy, haha.

Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above.

Do you know how to use Photoshop? I tried to play and experiment with it as a teen, but it just never made sense to me. I hate touching any kind of Adobe program.

Admit it, you're thinking about someone right now. Eh, false. I’m thinking of how much longer this survey will still be.

Where is he/she?

Where was your first job? My first internship was also at a PR agency, if that counts.

Favorite year in high school? Junior year.

East or West? As in parts of the world? East all the way, of course.

Where did your first kiss take place? On my bed.

What color do you wear most often? Probably maroon because of how many UP shirts I have.

Who was the last person you talked on the phone to? That would be my dad.

Have you ever done your own laundry? Kinda. I’ve had to wash my blanket a few times because Cooper peed on them.

Have you ever been to a night club? Yes.

Are you allergic to anything? Nope.

What's the best place you have ever eaten? Mendokoro Ramenba by a freaking mile.

Do you own a hair straightener? No. My mom does; if I ever need a straightener I just borrow hers.

Are you barefoot right now? Yep, always am when I’m at home except for the rare times I put socks on.

Are you subscribed to any magazine? No. Even when magazine subscriptions were popular I was never subscribed to any; I didn’t see the point when I could just get the new issue every month at the mall myself lol.

Puppies or kittens? Puppies.

If you had a billion dollars, where would your first investment be made? First I would probably read up on investment so that I don’t end up making decisions I’ll regret. My first agenda is to help my parents settle whatever payments they’re making at the moment, so that they don’t have to worry about any of that crap anymore.

Who is the best artist you've seen live? PARAMORE. I mean they’re artists, as in plural, but still.

Any major plans coming up this week? Keep myself alive.

Did you know they never told you Arnold's last name in Hey, Arnold? Never realized that but I don’t really care too much, considering I was never into the show.

Would you rather watch a romantic comedy or watch a thrilling horror movie? Romantic comedy, as long as it’s one I’ve already seen and enjoyed, like Love Actually or The Proposal. Most other romcoms are too cheesy and suck.

How is your hair styled right now? It’s in a ponytail that’s been unchanged all day, so it’s a bit messy at this point.

Favorite person that you've talked to today? Angela.

Do you need AC right now? I’m good. It’s a little chilly tonight, so yay.

Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? My first name is already my nickname - most people just call me Robyn. At home, though, I’m usually called a shortened version of my name.

Name something you're proud of. I confided in Angela today that I’m finally starting to think of seeing a therapist. Which I think is such a big realization to have and a big choice to have made. So yay me. Let’s hope I actually push through with it, and let’s hope I’m able to land a job soon so I can finally fucking afford to see one.

Are you a hopeless romantic? I never knew what this meant and I don’t feel like learning tonight.

How do you feel about couples who say 'I love you' too soon? No judgment. I don’t comment on how other couples navigate their relationship; it’s their thing.

What's the most recent favor you've done for somebody? Can’t remember.

Are you at home right now? Yep.

What did you last spend money on? Gas.

Does any accent annoy you? Stereotypical ones, like how Filipino-American stand-up comedians always try to cash in on Filipino quirks and make fun of thick Filipino accents, which makes all Filipinos look like we can’t speak English ‘properly,’ whatever properly means. Full-blooded Filipinos are so sick of that shit. We get it, the cellpown is ober der -___-

How about turn you on? None actively turn me on.

Are you wearing any jewelry? No.

Do you get along better with your mom or your dad? Dad. Easier to talk to and we share more interests.

Are you craving anything right now? Sushi.

What's worse: Crocs or Uggs? I’d go with Uggs, because Crocs actually look cute on kids so at least it suits one market lol

Do you knock before you open doors? Yep, always. I learned the habit because my mom never knocks and I quickly realized I don’t want to be that kind of person.

Do you know what a sock on the doorknob means? I think so.

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.

What's your zodiac sign? Taurus.

Does Fred from Youtube annoy you? I don’t think he ever did.

[mrswalkerwritesagain]

Tequila Truths - Damien x Gabi

Prompts: Drunkenly confessing feelings from @cora-nova and You caught me doing something dangerous flipped out from an anon. Thank you for the prompts! I hope you like this! 

This is set about a year before the events of Perfect Match. 

Word Count: ~1600

Damien carefully adjusts the lens on his camera, trying to catch the money shot of Mrs. Cynthia Dyer cheating on Mr. David Dyer with Mr. Dyer’s half brother. It’s honestly not the most salacious job he’s ever taken, far from it, but it still leaves him with that pit in stomach, humanity sucks feeling that most of his cases give him. That’s the burden of being a PI though. Dyer’s half brother has just arrived at the seedy City Center Motel when Damien’s phone buzzes on the seat beside him. 

“Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now,” he mutters. “I’m busy getting paid to be a peeping tom.”  

Damien starts snapping rapid-fire photos of Mrs. Dyer opening the door and enveloping the half brother in a passionate embrace and the phone stops buzzing briefly before starting up again. Damien snatches it up and answers without looking at the caller ID. 

“What?”

“Are you Mr. Damien Nazario?”

“Maybe. Who’s asking?” 

“Mr. Nazario, this is Gwen at St. Vincent’s Hospital. You’re listed as an emergency contact for Gabriela Park.” 

“Gabi?” Damien’s breath catches sharply in his chest. “Is she okay? What happened? 

“She’s currently admitted to our ER with some hand lacerations and she’s receiving fluids since she came in quite inebriated. We tried to reach her first contact, but there was no answer. Will you be able to come and pick her up?” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Damien says, adrenaline and worry making him fumble as he starts his car and heads to the hospital. Gabi, what did you do?

-------------------------------------

At St. Vincent’s Hospital, Damien is a little more gruff with the staff than they probably deserve, but he can’t relax until he sees Gabi, until he knows she’s okay. He barks her name at the registration staff who call back to have a nurse come get him. He paces the ER waiting room anxiously until a young guy in gray-green scrubs calls his name and leads him through a labyrinth of hallways to a small, curtained-off bed where Gabi lays on her side, watching an old episode of The Crown and The Flame on a TV mounted to the wall. 

“Gabi...”

She looks up and blinks a few times before smiling sleepily at him. 

“Heeeeyyy,” she slurs, “Damien! It’s you! I knew you’d come. I told them you’d come. Nadia sleeps like a log, but I knew you’d come for me.” 

“Yeah, of course, always,” Damien nods his thanks to the nurse and sits beside Gabi. He looks down at her, something more than friendly concern coursing through him. She looks so small curled up on this hospital bed. Her makeup is smudged and there are dark circles under her eyes. Both of her hands are wrapped in thick layers of gauze. He picks one of them up and holds it between his hands.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“I fell down.” 

“Yeah, I kind of assumed that. How? Why? Why are you drunk off your ass on a Tuesday at 2:00 in the morning?” he drops into interrogation mode far more easily than he’d care to admit. Old habits refuse to die and he carefully watches as she answers him, looking for the truth behind her words. 

“I...ugh...I....” Gabi frowns deeply, looking away from him as an embarrassed look colors her features. “I found out that stupid Andrew has been cheating on me.” 

Damien has to bite his tongue from saying I told you so. He’d hated Andrew the Asshole on sight. Nadia had teased him it was because he “liked” Gabi, which made him sound like a lovestruck middle schooler, and she was totally wrong. He’d hated Andrew because he was a dick, a dude-bro, and a Yankees fan. While Damien never wants Gabi to hurt, he’s relieved that her latest boyfriend is out of their lives. 

“I know there’s more to the story than that,” he urges Gabi to continue. “I mean you didn’t shatter a wine bottle with your bare hands, did you?” 

“No, no wine,” Gabi laughs a little and then cringes, “but there was tequila involved. A lot of tequila which gave me the idea to find him and let him have it. So I went to Segal’s. Down by the docks.” 

“What?” Damien shouts, jumping from the bed and glaring down at Gabi. “What were doing in a place like that? Jesus Christ, Gabi! Do you know what kind of shit goes down there? You could have been hurt! Why didn’t you call me and let me handle it? God, you could have...”

He turns away, unable to finish the sentence, and rakes a hand through his hair. God, the things that could have happened to her. Damien lets out a slow breath to keep from berating Gabi again. He doesn’t have a lot of people that he likes, trusts, or cares about in this world and Gabi has managed to become someone he really likes, absolutely trusts, and cares deeply about. If anything had happened to her...

“Damien.”

He turns back around and Gabi is standing right behind him. Before he can overthink it, he wraps her in a tight hug, crushing her to his chest and laying his cheek on her head. Gabi’s arms slip around his waist and she nestles against his chest with a sigh. Her clubbed hands land on the small of his back, patting him gently. 

“So, what happened to your hands?” 

“I kinda, sorta threw a beer bottle at Andrew,” Gabi says. She shrugs without moving from his embrace and he can’t help but chuckle. 

“Of course, you did.” 

“I missed which is a good thing, I guess, but it kind of exploded on the wall. I tripped when I tried to leave and I landed in the glass.” 

Damien closes his eyes to keep from exploding with worried anger once again. He can picture her in the dimly-lit dive bar, stumbling and slurring and cursing out her ex. She’s such a spitfire, this one. But when he imagines her falling on the sticky wood floors, glass piercing the tender skin of her hands and no doubt causing tears fall from her big brown eyes, his heart just aches. He hates that he wasn’t there with her. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Damien,” Gabi’s soft, tired comes through his thoughts and Damien leans back to look down at her. He tucks a stray curl behind her ear as she asks, “Can you take me home?” 

"Yeah, let’s get out of here.” 

-------------------------------------

Gabi sleeps all the way to her apartment and Damien practically has to carry her up to her third-floor walkup. He keeps his arm firmly wrapped around her waist as he guides her through her messy apartment to her even messier bedroom. He uses one hand to toss stray t-shirts, jeans, and dresses from her bed, clearing a space to sit her down. 

“Why does this keep happening, Damien?” Gabi asks in a weary voice. 

“Well,” Damien answers as he walks into the bathroom to grab her a glass of water and some Tylenol. “You keep picking guys who are just...the worst.” 

“That’s not helpful.” 

“I know, but...Gabi, what are you doing?” Damien’s voice comes out choked as he walks back into the bedroom to find Gabi sitting on the bed without her shirt on. He spins on his heel and forces his eyes to the ceiling, but it’s too late. The mental image of Gabi clad in a simple gray cotton bra is burned into his retinas and it’s far more arousing than he would ever have thought...not that he’s thought about it before...much. Not the time. Not the time. Not the time, he chants to himself. She’s brokenhearted, drunk, and it is NOT the time.

“You can turn around,” Gabi says a moment later. Peeking over his shoulder, Damien breaths a sigh of relief when he sees she’s dressed in a slouchy, over-sized t-shirt and sleep shorts. Still looks cute as hell. He hands her the water and the Tylenol and she dutifully swallows it down before climbing into her bed. Damien pulls the floral comforter up over her. 

“You know you don’t have to keep settling for these guys who aren’t worthy of you, right?” Damien tells her gently and Gabi gives him a wry, sad smile. 

“Yeah, well, I can’t wait for you forever.” 

Damien freezes, staring down at her. She didn’t say what he thinks she said, did she? He shouldn’t ask. She’s out of it and she won’t remember this in the morning. He should let it go. 

“What did you say?” he croaks out and cringes. Apparently his mouth has different ideas than his mind does. Damn it. 

“I’m saying...I want you and I think you want me too.” 

“Gabi...”

“I know you’re not there yet, but hurry up, okay?” Gabi yawns as her eyes drift close and Damien watches as she falls asleep, leaving him with a heart pounding from panic and excitement. 

It’s truth. He does want her. He wants to be with her. But he’s not there yet. He’s not ready for that as much as he wishes desperately that he was. 

“Just hang on, Gabi,” Damien whispers, brushing a kiss on her forehead and smiling at the way she wrinkles it in response. “I’ll get there. I’m working on it, I swear. I’m going to become the man you deserve. I promise.”