#big ass spoon what she gonna eat with that spoon

[seannessy]

"Hey Laos can I marry your sister?"

"Only a spoonful."

[cosmopretty]

Caitlin Clark X Fem Headcannons

She is the sweetest girlfriend ever

Always staring at you no matter where she is her eyes are always drawn to you

Super touchy- physical touch is her love language

Caitlin loves to teaches you basketball

Caitlin’s hands hold your waist behind you, while you fiddle with the basketball in your hands. She bends her head down so it can lean on your shoulder “Come on baby shoot just like I taught you” she whispers letting go of your waist and moving to stand a few steps behind you. Looking back at her for confirmation she nods and you turn around “I’ll try Cait” you say before bending your arms and shooting the ball just like she taught you.

The ball swirls around the net before falling you and you start laughing “I thought it was gonna go in for a second” you say through your laughter. Caitlin hands fall down to her sides “Me too” she shakes her head before grabbing another ball. You shake your head no and cross your arms “Come on it’s been an hour I’m tired” you complain to her.

“Just make one more three pointer and we go home baby I promise” Caitlin tells you handing you the ball. She motions you to shoot once again “Fine but you’re giving me a massage after this I’m so sore” you point your finger at her while you talk. Turning away from her back to face the basketball hoop you bend your knees slightly shooting the ball and successfully landing a three. You jump up and down and clap your hand “I did it I did it” you laugh turning around and grabbing her cheek pulling her down into a kiss.

Wearing her jersey to basketball games and cheering her on court side

Good luck kisses before every game and after

You do her hair for her before you guys go out or before games

She’s a golden retriever girlfriend

Cooking for her while she watches and pretends to help and distracts you

You pour the pasta into the pot of boiling water before turning around to Caitlin who was sitting on the counter behind you. She pulls your head up, each of her hands on your cheeks “Your so pretty” she tells you leaning down and kissing your lips. You moan into the kiss softly before pulling away “Your gonna make me burn the food” you turn around abruptly before grabbing the sauce and pouring it into the pan with meatballs on the stove.

Caitlin grabs some of the cut tomato’s next to her and starts eating a few secretly. Hearing her chewing you turn around “CAITLIN” you gasp grabbing the bowl and moving it away from her grabby hands. She rolls her eyes “You do this every time babe” you scold her. She shrugs and jumps off the course wrapping her arms around you from behind “I’m hungry” she whines into your neck leaving wet open mouthed kisses there.

“Fuck Cait” you moan leaning your head back melting into her arms. She smirks into your neck proud of herself, she keeps going pulling your short down slightly to kiss your shoulders “Doing so good for me” she tells you before you push her off of you turning around to face her. You sigh “Caitlin I can’t cook with you here you keep distracting me” you tell her looking up at the six foot tall girl in front of you. She smiles “Yeah you know hard it is for me to focus on basketball when your pretty ass is sitting court side” she says looking down at you.

She drives you around your her passenger princess

Big spoon she loves to hold you in her arms but after a bad game all she wants is for you to hold her

Calls you baby, princess, my girl

You and Gabby always tries to dress Kate and Caitlin for events

Randomly tickles you to get what she wants

You try and push Caitlin off of you but it goes to no use as her stronger arms hold you under her “Come on just come to the gym with me this once” she begs you. Squirming under you shake your head no again “You said that last time and I was sore for like a week I don’t want to” you tell her sternly before squealing as her hands come down to tickle your stomach.

“No no no- stop- Caitlin- no please” you try to talk between laughs. She laughs at your “Just say yes and I’ll stop” she demands still laughing at you. Breathing heavily your stomach starts to feel heavy “I can’t breathe” you say breathily and she shrugs “Fine fine I’ll go I go” you go into her request. Her attack on your stops and she lays down on top of you her head in the crook of your neck “Thanks baby” she smiles kissing your neck as you grumble about it.

So protective of you

Loves seeing you where her clothes or jersey

Loves getting flowers or giving them

Posts about you on instagram

Jealousy comes so easily to her she hates when people are checking you out or random people touching you

Talks about every she’s very big on communication between you both

[chorllosbook]

When you accidentally touch their chest or ass(fem reader)

Including-

Raiden,yae miko,navia,shenhe.

+ confessions -in yae mikos sorry:(

-yae miko

You and miko have known each other for awhile now and it’s safe to say you two get along quite well and make quite the interesting pair...you and miko were eating lunch together the food was of good quality and had a creamy texture that would melt in your mouth as your taste buds tingle from the slight spice that lingered threw you mouth made your eyes slightly widen “miko what is this?” Miko moves her gaze from the plate to you”hm why? Not a fan of it?” Miko swears this dish you would’ve loved “ah no not that it’s just…so good”you eyes look down to the plate of your food as yae miko chuckles “dear (reader) I knew you would be a fan of this particular dish in fact I’m quite a fan as well.”you wander your eyes back to hers”oh what is it?””oh this hmm..just some curry”you haven’t been in inazuma long so the food was truly a new adventure for you to continue,miko takes a spoon of the dish until a little bit falls about to dirty her shirt..her white shirt making you jump up and try to catch the small creamy orange droplet…when you open your eyes you see a small stain on her top “fuck” you whispered to distracted to notice your head cupping the fat of her breast you thoughts got cut off by miko chuckling”my~my~ feeling naughty arnt we~” miko jokes as your face flushes a slight shade of peach “s-sorry” you remove your now blessed hand off her chest miko smirks at your reaction she’s gonna tease you about this moment forever now good job…

-raiden Ei

Ei was siting alone under the sakura trees of inazuma as her purple hues glistened in the morning sun a certain sadness or perhaps loneliness reflected off them…you observed silently from behind how it hurt you so to see such sadness,guilt even in her eyes it made you so soft and weak….”Ei I’ve gotten you some sweets I hope they are to your taste” ei looks at you with a slightly more joyful expression “oh why thank you how thoughtful of you..”you place down the small bamboo tray down “mind if I join you ei?” Ei lightly pats beside her for you to sit next to her you slowly move to sit next to her "ei.." you lightly mutter under your breath "hmm something wrong" ei's voice slightly dims "I...I love you" tears find their ways into the corner of your now glossy eyes as ei slowly turns to you with wide eyes "i-I see...well I must admit I have fallen for you as well.." your eyes widen in surprise "wait really?!" You jump on ei with the look of a puppy that just found its favourite chew toy "I must admit I wasn't expecting you to be so intimate from the start.." you look down to see your hand on her chest making your face heat up as you pull your hand off her chest "I'm so sorry ei.."

-navia

It was truly a wonderful day clear sky's not a dark cloud in sight and a warm sun shining on you and navia's skin "thank you so much navia first you take me out to lunch now you walk me home are you sure this is okay?" Navia giggles "nope! Not at all anything for you ;)" you lightly blush as you look at navias face and study her features such lovely curls and bright big eyes oh how you viewed her as perfect you vowled to never make her cry or give her sadness you just "y/nn you there" navia lightly nudges your shoulder "y-yea sorry" naiva moves closer "whats got your head in celestia thinking of somone~~" navias statement makes you look away "don't be shy tell me the lucky person!" You slowly look down "it's you.." navai looks confused "hmm what was that I didn't hear you" you look up at navia "it you! I was thinking about you!" Navias smile grows impossibly wider "me huh" you slowly nodded "c-can I hold your hand naiva" "of course ma douce" you move you hand to hers but you didn't feel hand more like a soft pillow kind of thing "oh my! Feeling passionate already!" Navia giggles as your eyes widen and quickly move your hand away form her lower "ik so sorry!" You face bright red as navia laughs

-shenhe

Shenhe liked to follow you around the mountains after meeting you in the harbour she likes watching you as you went fishing or simply got cooking ingredients cloud retainer advised her to talk to you but shenhe didn't know how to approach you she was stuck looking at you from afar peeking from behind a tree "master said I should give it a go and so I will.." shenhe slowly walks up behind you "hello y/n" you turn around and stop what you are doing "oh shenhe how are you it's been so long" you smile at shenhe with that bright kind smile "I've been rather fine lately may I ask about you" you giggle "I've been very well lately" you pat the spot besides you shenhe slowly sat besides you "here you like Qingxin stalks I saw you buying them in the harbour to eat" you hand her the plant "thank you very much" shenhe face light turns abit pink shenhe doesn't know why she feels this way around you and why master always encourages her to get to know you better "some thing wrong shenhe?" Shenhe shakes her head "I must take my leave now.." "Wait!" As shenhe gets up you grap apart of her bird tail like cloth to stop her making her trip taking you with her...your head didn't feel any force of the fall just in something soft and warm you didn't really want get off.."apologies are you alright y/n" shenhe looks back at you "OH IM SO SORRY SHENHE I DIDN'T MEAN TO LAY THERE!" You quickly get up as shenhe looks at you confused and concerned "why is it you're sorry" "it's ok never mind" you mutter "y/n what do you think love feels like" you are lightly surprised at the question "well um when you admire somone or think they are as stunning as a flower and they make you feel warm..well that's how I see it" you lightly blush "hmm I see...well y/n I think I love you" your face flushes as you get taken back by her words "me to..I love you shenhe.."

Sorry if they are ooc I gave it my all😭

[skymoral]

🩵Meeting The Family🩵

BI-HAN X B!F Reader

Summary: Your family has been pestering you to introduce your boyfriend to them. And they thought the most sane thing to do was invite you both to your family BBQ

Tags: Family/Fluff, Slice of Life, Comedy, Love, fun, chaotic, shockingly Bi-Han is enjoying himself

A/N: Who doesn’t love a black family bbq lol

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

“Bi Han babe, you really don’t have to go. I have a big family… And you know they can get annoying.” You explained slightly having a tug o war with your boyfriend in the bed.

Tugging the invitation back and forth from each other.

“Your mother specifically requested me to join your family event. It would be wrong for me to decline.” Bi-Han told you, finally snatching the invitation from your hand.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Why?”

“I already told you why.”

“Which was not a good enough reason… Are you embarrassed by me?” Bi-Han asked you with a slightly displeased look.

“What!? Fuck no, you daddy are the whole package… I just don’t want to make a bad impression, and you might… not want to be around me anymore, because of my family… They can be a bit much.” You hung your head messing with the sheets.

You really liked Bi-Han, and you want to continue a future with him. You’ll do anything for this man, but knowing his personality and character.

You weren’t so sure if being around your loud ass family would cause a shift in your relationship.

Bi-Han lift your chin up to look at him, “I will be the judge of that. I do not care what your family will say or do. Just as long as you know that you are still M I N E.”

You blushed at his proclamation, Bi-Han was literally one of a kind. And definitely out of this world(Literally). You pulled him into a passionate kiss.

You just hope your family would keep there chaotic behavior to a minimum.

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

• Next Morning on Sunday •

You were with your mother “Whitney” and father “Charles”. Helping prep for the BBQ, for the family and before you went to get your boyfriend.

“I hope you told that young boy about the BBQ?” Your glared at you from the stove pointing at you with her hot spoon.

You rolled your eyes as you were sorting the deviled eggs in the pan on the island in the kitchen.

“Unfortunately yes, despite my refusal. He was dead set on coming.”

“Good! I’m happy he still coming despite my baby thinking we gonna embarrass her in front of her man… OOH! I also asked Gina to pick up some Chinese cuisine and dishes, I want to make sure the baby have something he can eat.” Your mother was stirring the spaghetti.

You did think it was sweet, your mother was trying to be considerate of his palette and taste.

“That boi is gonna eat what we make. We ain’t always going to cater to all these lil boys you bring around this family.” Your father shouted from outside cooking on the grill.

You groaned at the comment, “CHARLES HUSH! She didn’t ask me to, that decision was all me. Do not be rude to this man when he comes.”

It was your father turn to groan, you laughed at his frustration. At least you could rely on your Mother to not embarrass you.

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

Y/N was secretly hyperventilating in her room with her aunt Erica. Her boyfriend was almost here…. Which she knew but…

HE WAS BRINGING HIS BROTHERS! You just hoped that at least they were dressed… Normal, and not in fight gear

Why was his brothers coming you asked

• Flashback to two hours earlier •

“Why is Kaui and Tomas coming!?” You asked your boyfriend. Confused and upset.

You were walking behind Bi-Han, as he was watching his clan practice different fighting forms.

“They asked where I was going, I told them. They asked if they could come, sense it’s a family thing. I told them yes, because I assumed you would feel less uncomfortable, end of story.” Bi-Han finally facing you.

You sighed, then giving him your best smile. “Bi-Han babe, Sweetface. You’re amazing, sexy, and a top notch nigga… But that idea is far from making me comfortable.”

“Then you can tell them you don’t want them to come, problem solved.” Bi-Han left you speechless.

“That’s not fucking SOLVING ANYTHING!” You shouted upset. You could’ve sworn you heard him laughing like a jackass in the distance.

• Flashback over •

“Listen peaches, I know it’s a lot with how already chaotic it is. Not to mention yo cousins and there kids over… but you can’t hide that man forever.”

“Trust me it’s possible TT.” You sighed, she just chuckled at you.

“Cmon now, It’s better if you’re down there. Where he can see a familiar face. Or do you want your uncle Gregory seeing him first… Remember the incident with your sister.” Your aunt smirked eyeing you closely.

That made you quickly stand up and rush downstairs. You were dodging everyone and there long winded conversation. Your grandmother almost caught you, because woman could talk for eons.

Just as you stepped outside to find him and his brothers. Your uncle was already greeting them.

“Well lookie here… Where you boys from? Ya lost? Ooh wait I know y’all the delivery people? I don’t see any packages or fo-“

“Haha! Thank you Unc! This is my lover Bi-Han and his brothers Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada. Bi-Han, Kuai, Tomas this is my uncle Gregory. Cool? Cool!”

Before you could pull them away, they greeted him. Your Uncle shaking Bi-Han’s hand “Well well well! You the boy this girl keep talking about like every day news. How she wants to have kids with and mar-“

“UNCLE! AUNTIEEE!” You whined loudly, Bi-Han just smirked at you. It was rare for him to smile in public and his brothers saw this.

“Gregory leave that poor girl and them boys alone. Go on now.” Your Aunt Erica shooed him away. “Hello it’s a pleasure to meet you boys, especially my niece’s boyfriend. Anyone my peaches cares and love, we do as well welcome to the family Bi-Han.” She gave him a hug, which he returned stiffly, the others returned happily.

“Likewise madam.”

“Ooo! What an octave.” Your blushed slightly, giggling as she walked away. You rubbed your hands down your face.

“I’m glad you guys came normally at least, and I apologize about my uncle… He ain’t all there the head.”

“We didn’t want to embarrass you, so Tomas had asked Johnny for some help on outfits… It was harder trying to get Brother to go through with it.” Kuai Liang pointed at Bi-Han who scoffed.

“We had to explain it to him from your point of view. Besides it was nice seeing your relative, they were quite welcoming and homey.” Tomas told you.

You were now kinda happy he brought his brothers along. On top of them making him dress normal, which you had to admit… he was definitely looking like a meal.

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

You were impressed the event was going smoothly. Despite everyone fawning over your boyfriend and his brothers.

Kuai and Tomas was surrounded by hormones from your cousins. Although they didn’t noticed… Well that’s what you assumed as they were still talking and hanging around them.

Your mother was an angel and the sweetest, she literally welcomed Bi-Han and he was already in the family and son-in-law. Even so she didn’t need to tell you about your ratchet days and giving him copies of your photos from your childhood. He was enjoying those stories.

Your father on the other hand was sizing him up, and you don’t know why Bi-Han was doing the same thing. He probably didn’t appreciate that.

“So you dating my sweet little girl huh? I see you couldn’t find nobody your shade Y/N?”

“DADDY!”

“CHARLES!” Your mother yelled, hands on her hip.

“I don’t believe that should be your concern or problem.”

“BABE!?”

“BROTHER!?” Kuai shouted. He wasn’t far from the scene. Bi-Han was standing next to her father at the grill.

“I’m her father, and you think being rude is going to get me to like you? Did your father teach you respect boy?”

“My Father is Dead. And I understand your role and blood to my Y/N. I only returned what you gave to me. As a grandmaster of my clan, I do not respect those that disrespect me or my wife! No matter who they are.”

“W-Wife?” You spoke to yourself blushing, but at the same time wanting this to not escalate further.”

Your father just stared at him quietly, before breaking into a fit of laughter patting Bi-Han’s shoulder.

You looked so confused then upset, Bi-Han still having his same demeanor and stoic face. Your mother shaking her head.

“I like him Y/N, he’s a keeper. A man isn’t afraid to speak his mind. He ain’t like them other ones you were with. Can you promise me you’ll keep my little girl safe? She’s the last one and means the world to me, I’m entrusting her to you.”

“I give you my word she is safe with me, and if anyone dares to try and harm her. Will die by my hands.” Bi-Han responded with a serious tone.

Your father can tell he was not playing and don’t know whether it was a good or bad thing. But happy someone will care and protect you. Because he’s getting to old.

You ran up and hugged your father, “Thank you daddy.” You smiled, he nodded holding back tears. By hiding his face in your shoulder.

They pulled away, you took Bi-Han’s arm to bring him inside the house. Before y’all could leave.

“Also I’m sorry to hear about your father, if you ever need anything Bi-Han. You can always talk to me, as well as your brothers. Sense you’ll marry my daughter soon, we’re practically family.”

You and your mother thought that was the sweetest thing. Bi-Han’s brothers looked touched, and maybe your boyfriend as well.

“It would be our honor… Father.” Bi-Han told him and the trio did a bowing gesture.

Now that melted your heart.

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

It was slightly dark, the older people were around the fire pit outside.

The food for the BBQ was fucking fire, even Bi-Han and his brothers enjoyed the food.

It was a mixture of what they eat and what your father cooked.

The kids and a couple of the other families were surrounding Kuai and Tomas outside. Watching them as they were teaching a couple of kids the Lin Kuei martial arts. Which was extremely adorable.

You were trying to figure out where Bi-Han was, you was only talking with your cousin for a little bit. He wasn’t outside, and then you asked your mother. Who told you that he was inside the house in the living room.

You entered and pause slightly hiding behind the side wall of the entrance. You noticed your little cousin Angelica sitting on Bi-Han’s lap. Talking to him.she had French braids with colorful beads and big glasses. She was the shyest girl in the family, and him being the angriest and detached.

Like is the world coming to an end?

“So then he kept pushing me down on the floor in gym class. All the kids started laughing at me, I don’t really like conflict and didn’t want to get in trouble. So I just stayed on the floor in the corner while the other kids played… Not that anyone would play with me either.” Angelica told him sadly.

“You did not retaliate? What did your parents say?”

“Nothing really, at first they told the principle. Which only made it worse for me and then both families got into a heated argument… I just want them to stop bullying me.”

“If you wish for them to stop, the you must MAKE THEM STOP. Crying and hiding will not solve your problems. It’ll make them feel as if they have power over you, which they DO NOT! Undisciplined snots should be taught a lesson, we are family now. And anyone in my family will not be weak and defenseless.” Bi-Han sat her down, standing up.

“I will have you train with the girls of the Lin Kuei, I will inform your parents.”

“Really!? That’ll be cool… But uh… I have school tomorrow and he’s going to be there.” Angelica losing her excitement.

Bi-Han kneeled in front of her, doing a finger gesture telling her to come closer. She brought her ear to him. He whispered something in her ear. Making her jump from excitement.

“That will be our plan.” Bi-Han, smiled at her, Angelica nodded at him. Then gave him a big hug, before hearing her mother calling to her they are leaving.

She ran out passing you, Bi-Han looking at you. You approached him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Giving him a sweet kiss, he grabbed your waist tight.

Pulling you close to deepen the kiss, you pulled away. “Are you really going to teach my lil cousin how to fight? That girl is not a fighter.”

“Of Course, and she will be. Also you have a bad habit with eavesdropping.” Bi-Han starring at you with longing eyes.

“Yeah I know… guess it’s genetics, I get it from my mother.”

That made Bi-Han laugh, which was always music to your ears.

“Today was… different, you do indeed have a strange family. With a strong bond, maybe stronger than with my own.”

“Well you can always strengthen your bond with your brothers… By being a bit nicer yea?”

He scoffed at that playing with your frohawk. “I enjoyed talking with your mother. May be my most favorite thing about this event.” You laughed shoving him away, as if he was excluding you.

“Well I’ll let her know the great grandmaster. Enjoys my mother’s company, which is very high praise where you come from.”

He smirked pulling you into another kiss, which you didn’t mind. You’re glad the BBQ and your family didn’t scare him and his brothers away.

It may have just brought y’all closer together

┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓┏━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━┓

• BONUS •

Angelica was gathering her things as school was over. Her ride was here earlier than usual, as they were waiting for her.

As she stepped out of the building, she was immediately shoved. Making her miss a step and failing on the concrete.

She slightly teared up, holding her scrap knee. As the boys were laughing at her in front of her face.

She stood up, grabbing her cracked glasses. She glared at him with glossy eyes, puffing up her chest.

“Ooh look seems like Ms. Four eyes, is trying to stand up for herself. You won’t and can’t do anything.” The bully boy told her.

She wiped her eyes, smirking at him, “Oh I won’t, but Big Brother Bi-Han will.”

“Bi-Han?” The boy noticed his guys were tossed in the bushes. Before someone picked him up from his backpack.

“That’s grandmaster to you.” A deep menacing voice came into the boys ear. Before he could say anything. He was flung in the air with such strength and height.

All the kids looked up, Angelica smirking. As they heard the boy screaming. He was coming down, but his pants got pierced and caught on the flag pole. Going through his pants and shorts. Giving him a wedgy making him cry and scream.

Becoming snotty shouting for his Mommy, the kids started laughing at him.

“Let this be a reminder to you boy and everyone else!” The kids went silent.

“If I find out anyone has laid a hand on her. You will get the same treatment as him.” Bi-Han glared at all the kids and superiors. All of them nodded.

“Come! Your training begins today.” Bi-Han turned away with Angelica behind.

“Don’t mess with the Lin Kuei BOYYYYY!” She crossed her hands, then followed behind Bi-Han giving him a high five. Before holding his hand, going through a portal.

A/N: No lie that one was a lot longer than expected, but it was fun. I mainly enjoyed the Angelica bit, to see how he interacts with kids

Hope you ladies enjoyed this one as well!💅🏾

BI-HAN’S OUTFIT

KUAI LIANG’S OUTFIT

TOMAS VRBADA’S OUTFIT

[carmen-is-away]

cuddling with the legends pt. 4

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

In this post: Fuse, Valkyrie, Seer, Ash, Mad Maggie

a/n: i wrote this like two years ago and never posted it, sorry if it's maybe kinda inaccurate now and short compared to my other posts

Fuse

I might just be fantasizing right now, but I feel like Walter's a real touchy dude and he loves when his partner cuddles up to him. He eats that shit up and doesn't mind cuddling all day everyday. He's definitely grabbing a handful of ass no matter what position you two are in, but he's a big fan of having you lay on top of him.

Valkyrie

Kairi only likes to cuddles while winding down, whether that be before bed or after sex. Her hands are on your waist at all times and she's always pulling you closer. She's definitely gonna flirt and make plenty of sleezy comments the whole time.

Seer

He's a lover and he loves to cuddle. He wants to be very close and intimate with his partner, so of course he's gonna wanna cuddle. Expect candles, nice thick blankets and maybe even a small massage. He wants you to hear how his heart beats for you so expect to have your head on his chest often.

Ash

Ummm Ashleigh Reid is NOT a cuddler. She is all business all the time. She will literally have to be powered down before you should even consider just thinking about it. Sorry gang

Mad Maggie

Also not a cuddler, but less anti-cuddle than Ash. She's too busy girlbossing and being a Salvonian icon to cuddle. If you're cuddling Maggie, you would definitely have had to be very close to her for a very long time. She's partial to spooning if she is cuddling.

[sporadicthingcollection]

A Day in the Life (Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: The days are never dull with a baby on board. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: 🌶 Explicit 🌶 Word Count: ~3.2k Warnings: Infants in very mild peril, cunnilingus, PiV sex A/N: daddy buggy my beloved

---

4:41

Keeda’s fussing before the sun’s even up. And then you start fussing as soon as Keeda starts fussing.

“Your kid’s awake,” you grumble into his back.

Buggy has no choice but to fuss back. “Before dawn, he’s your kid.” You nudge him with your foot. He huffs. “I’m comfy, bitch. Get 'im yourself.”

You do not appreciate how comfortable he is. You knee his ass with each word -- not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make your point. “You. Are. A. Chop Chop man.”

...Yeah, alright, that's fair. Detaching his head and arms, he floats himself over to the crib.

Any other child would be concerned if their father’s disembodied head hovered above them, but Keeda’s never known any different. His grumbles turn to happy babbles, his chubby little face lighting up like the moon.

“Mornin’, ya li’l rugrat,” he says with a smile. “Starting on your bullshit early today, huh?”

He slips his hands under the boy’s arms and lifts him up and over to the bed. He's getting heavier, maybe about as much as a decent-sized cannonball. Makes sense, given his parents’ heights. 

His parts rejoin the rest of him and he lays back down, placing the baby on his chest. He's still not too big for that, at least.

You roll over — more of an aggressive flop, really — and tuck yourself up under his arm. “Hey, bug.”

"Hi, dear," Buggy replies.

You rest your head on his shoulder as you lay your hand on your son's back, rubbing in small circles. Keeda lets out a happy coo, his little fingers curling as he reaches out to you.

You take his hand and stroke it with your thumb. "Back to sleep, sweet baby," you mumble, already halfway there. "Back to sleep..."

Buggy waits for your breathing to even out and for Keeda to go still before he lays his head against yours.

———

9:03

"Son of a bitch!"

Buggy watches as you pitch the jar of baby food and spoon over the deck railing. "First you wake me up, then you pee on me, and now you won't eat!” You jam your finger into Keeda's face. “Why are you being such a little fucker today?!"

The boy giggles, kicking his legs and smearing his breakfast around. He's got your laugh, but that little hater attitude couldn't have come from anybody but his father.

Buggy's just glad it's not his turn to feed him. "Food's supposed to go in his mouth, ya know."

You flip him off without even looking at him. Keeda waggles his fingers like he's trying to mimic you, but he doesn't quite have the motor control down yet.

“I'm gonna go get a new jar,” you grumble. “Make sure he doesn't spontaneously combust or some shit.”

You slink off without waiting for confirmation. Buggy's not worried. You'll cool off in no time. And he gets to watch your ass as you walk away.

He turns his full attention to Keeda. He picks the boy up into his arms. “You really wanna piss your mom off?” he asks. The boy babbles in what he decides is a yes. “Give her hair a yank. She spent all morning on it and it'll drive her nuts.”

He knows Keeda shouldn't be able to understand him, but there's a sparkle of recognition in those big dark eyes as he reaches a little hand out to touch the hair peeking out from under Buggy’s bandana.

He knows grabby fingers when he sees them. He angles his head away. This does not deter Keeda, but merely changes his target.

And now for the most confusing emotion he's ever had. There's the usual agitation that comes from someone noticing... it... but it's Keeda. He's never mocked it or thought it odd or asked questions. He just thinks his daddy's neat.

He can't help the slight smile as he lets Keeda touch his face.

———

9:50

Richie’s liked Keeda from day one. He’s always smelling him and headbutting him and gently pawing him. Mohji thinks it's because he's trying to scent-mark the kid.

“Should I do something?” Buggy asks quietly.

Mohji shrugs. “He's laughing, isn't he? Richie wouldn't hurt a fly.”

Keeda giggles as Richie presses his nose against his head, gently sniffing. Richie lets out a pleased chuffle as he rubs his whiskers along Keeda’s face.

Mohji crosses his arms. “He doesn't do that to me,” he mutters.

“I’ll dunk you in tuna oil, if you want,” Buggy says. “He'll be all over you.”

“I think I'll pass--” Disgust turns to horror as Mohji blanches. “Oh shit!” 

Buggy whirls around. Richie has Keeda in his mouth. Completely in his mouth. Richie is a big lion and Keeda is a small baby.

Panic grips him. He's never actually had to fight a lion before, but it looks like that's what he's gonna have to do. You're gonna kill him anyways, so might as well go out in style--

Richie deposits Keeda at Buggy’s feet. The boy looks no worse for wear, if not a little confused and covered in kitty drool. The overgrown house cat looks very pleased with himself for taking a few years off of Buggy’s life.

Buggy glowers at Mohji. Mohji avoids eye contact and tries to shrink into his hoodie.

———

10:15

Well, after that, baby needs a bath. Fortunately, the giant soup pot in the galley is the perfect size for a little guy like Keeda.

Buggy hums an aimless tune as he rubs the shampoo into Keeda's hair. It's dark and thick like yours -- not to mention long. Kid’s hair grows faster than the rest of him.

He scoops up a fingerful of bubbles, then gently boops Keeda's little nose. The boy’s face scrunches up, and he goes cross-eyed as he grumbles.

An intrusive thought takes root. He chuckles to himself as he smooths Keeda's hair upwards. “Look, babe. Mohawk.”

“Keep the suds out of his eyes,” you warn from the doorway. 

He rolls his eyes. “I'm not gonna let him drown, ya know. You don't have to hover.”

You smile that narrow little smile of yours. “I like watching my boys.”

Buggy's chest tightens. How can one expression, one quirk of your lips, one flash of teeth make his stomach backflip? His breath catch? His cheeks burn?

A splash of sudsy water rushes up to hit him in the face. Seems the kid’s discovered volume displacement. He regrets going with a full beat this morning. Between the splashed water and the heat in his cheeks, this makeup is gonna melt right off.

———

12:24

Dropping an ear in Keeda's crib while he napped was a brilliant idea. Amazing, even. Buggy can be off doing Hot Dad Shit but still come running at the first sign of trouble.

And then the baby found it and it became less of a good idea.

"C'mon, give it back." He reaches for the ear, but Keeda shifts just out of reach, clutching it to his chest. Given the boy's grip strength, he can't just yank it out of his hands without ripping cartilage.

Buggy hears Keeda's heartbeat thumping as he slumps against the edge of the crib. "What the hell could you possibly want with an ear?"

Keeda looks him dead in the eyes. Slowly, slowly, slowly, he brings the ear to his mouth.

Buggy has never moved faster in his life. He shoots his hand off and claps it over Keeda's mouth. You were right, he is being a little fucker today.

Keeda's muffled whines catch your attention, and you stick your head into the cabin. "Having trouble, Captain?" you ask with a smirk.

"Your son's being a dick."

The smirk grows into a smile. "He gets it from his father."

———

14:21

As Captain, sometimes one must spring into action and help secure a loose cannon threatening to smash the hull. For that reason, Buggy appreciates his crew’s tolerance of having a baby shoved into their arms at barely a moment’s notice. Alvida, especially. He’s never known her to like kids, let alone infants, but she seems to make an exception for little Keeda. Sometimes he thinks she makes up reasons just to hold him for a bit.

She's smiling a big, cheesy smile at him as he returns from his heroics. The kid gazes up at her with his enormous eyes, returning the grin. Alvida then sticks out her tongue. Keeda does the same. She blows a raspberry, and Keeda giggles.

“Having fun with Auntie ‘Vida?” he asks.

“Time of his life.” She makes an angry face. Keeda's mouth screws up into a grumpy frown. “It's crazy how much he looks like you. Especially considering he doesn't have your--”

Her mouth shuts so hard and so suddenly that her teeth click.

Buggy keeps his voice low and even. “Doesn't have my what?”

Alvida blinks. “Hair. I was gonna say hair.”

...you know what? Acceptable.

“Eh, I'm just glad he's got ten fingers and ten toes.” He ignores the relief on her face as he takes his boy back. “His mom’s prettier anyways.”

———

15:46

You don't need a detached ear to know when your son is crying. Somehow, you know. You can be down in the bilge and you'll hear his whining from the top deck.

"What's going on?" you ask as you come up on deck.

Buggy watches as Keeda flops over onto his belly, thrashing his limbs and wailing. "He's mad because I won't load him into the cannon."

Keeda pauses in his fit as sees you, then lets out a bwuuuuuuuh and continues. He looks very much like a fresh fish as he flails around.

You watch him for a moment, then look at Buggy. A silly little glint sparkles in your eyes, the one that you have when you get a bad idea. The same one he saw during that first kiss you shared together.

“He would fit in a Buggy Ball shell,” he says.

You stare at him a moment longer, then shake your head. “We shouldn't.” Keeda lets out a wail that makes you flinch. “But we could.”

After a few moments, the boy runs out of steam, lying there like a dead bird on a beach and whimpering pathetically.

Buggy scoops him into his arms and brushes the tears away. "Can't load ya up, li'l man, but wanna see it go..." He pops his hands off and splays his fingers in front of Keeda's face, popping them apart at the knuckles. "...ka-boom?"

Keeda's agitation melts away like an ice cube in Hell, replaced with wide-eyed wonder. You take him and sit on a crate, covering his ears. You give Buggy a nod.

He grins. He points at a pair of idling crewmen -- the artillery boys, fortunately. "Ready piece!" he barks. “And make it snappy! My kid’s in the audience!”

Buggy appreciates how they trip over themselves rushing to the cannon. He really is lucky that his crew likes his kid half as much as he does.  Even if they “kidnap” him sometimes and hide him in the crew quarters to dote on him and to stress his parents out.

In moments, the Buggy Ball is loaded, the powder set, and the artillerymen stand at attention, waiting to light the fuse.

He holds his fist up. "Aim!"

The cannon is already in place, but he pauses for dramatic effect. A quick glance at Keeda's wide eyes and your little smile confirms it's working. 

He gives you both a little wink  "Fire!"

With a bang and a whistle, the shell flies up into the air. A safe distance away, it explodes into a shower of smoky crimson streaks.

They reflect nicely in your smiling eyes as Keeda squeals in delight.

———

19:02

Buggy sticks his tongue out. "Blah."

Keeda sticks his tongue out. "Blelck."

He puffs his cheeks out. Keeda puffs his cheeks out. He puckers his lips. Keeda puckers his lips.

He opens his mouth. "Ah."

Keeda opens his mouth as wide as he can, showing off his little pink gums. "Ah!"

Buggy jams the spoon in there before Keeda can even react. Blinking in surprise, he swallows, even licking some stray banana mush from his lips.

You watch, slumped across the table with your chin in your hand. "How are you so good at that?"

"Clown to clown communication. Sounds like this." He puts the spoon down and, squishing Keeda's cheeks, affects a croaky voice. "’Feed me. Feed meeee.’"

Your laugh your lovely seagull laugh and his heart flutters like a hummingbird.

———

20:50

“Don’t wake him up,” you warn as you open the door to the main cabin.

"I know, I know." He separates himself at the waist. “Floating, see? Shock absorber.”

Keeda snuffles and twitches. You both freeze, praying that he doesn’t wake up. He does not, and you relax.

You side eye him as he crosses the room, not letting up until he lays the boy down into the crib. You slip Mr Toucan in next to Keeda and pull the blanket up around him.

"Sweet dreams, li’l bug," you say.

"I'm not going to bed yet." You glower at him and he grins. That's never going to get old.

You tiptoe out with him close behind. He leaves his ear on the table, just in case.

The door clicks shut, and you both let out your held breaths. You hold your fist out and he knocks his knuckles against yours.

“Good job this time, Dad,” you say.

“I can be subtle when I want to be.” He drapes his arm around your shoulders. "Y’know, I was thinking..."

The breeze tousles your glossy hair so artfully. "Was wondering where the smoke was coming from."

He pulls you in closer, his hand wandering to the top of your thigh. You've been bitching about baby weight, but to him? You've never looked better. "Was thinking... Wanna make another?"

You give him a smirk that makes his cock twitch. You cross your muscular arms and it turns into a pulse. "Weird way to ask to go bareback."

"No, I mean it,” he says. "He looks like you and I want one that looks like me. Balance it out."

You breathe in sharply. The mischief in your eyes fades, replaced with thoughtfulness. You duck out from under his arm to saunter away. “Sell me on it.”

He follows. “What's cuter than one Keeda? Two Keedas,” he says. “Especially if it's a girl. Built-in double act. And I've got the perfect name for a girl.”

“Yeah?”

He gives you a big stupid grin. “Buggetta.”

You stare at him a moment, then crack a smile and make that glorious, glorious snnnrk noise. “Absolutely not.”

“To the name or to another kid? Because I'm fine with Buggy Junior if it's a boy--”

“Over my dead body we name a kid that.”

"Alright. Fine." He grabs your hips and pushes you against the deck railing. "Guess I'll just fuck you 'til you're knocked up again anyways and we can improvise."

You suck in a breath. Your tongue darts out to lick your lips. He goes in for a kiss, but you duck beneath his arms.

“Catch me and you can do whatever you want with me,” you say before taking off.

He sprints after you.

———

21:24

He wanted to be romantic. He wanted to be cool and suave and sweet for you. You, light of his life and his hard-won prize. You, his partner in crime and mother of his child. You deserve nothing less than the sultriest, slowest, languidest of lovemaking, full of sweet nothings whispered breathlessly into your thighs.

Unfortunately, just looking at you makes his cock leak and if he doesn't strip you down and fill you up as soon as possible, he's gonna make a mess of his last clean pair of underwear.

So that's how you ended up pinned between him and a crate in the cargo hold, moaning like a bitch in heat as he ruts into you. He's lucky you like it like that.

“Harder!” you spit.

He grunts into your shoulder as he snaps his hips. His tongue is busy taste-testing that sweet sweet clit of yours.

You let out a long, guttural groan. “Less talking, more -- ah, ff--!”

He must have hit something nice, because your back arches and your pussy flutters around his cock, squeezing it tight and making him damn near black out.

He hates this stupid condom. Hates it, hates it, hates it. Hates how he can't feel your warmth, your slick, your soft, satin walls as they clench. Hates how he can't fill you up with his cum, painting those lovely walls a pearly, sticky white. Hates how he can't fuck another baby into you.

...unless. Unless he's lucky and it breaks. Or if it's just a piece of cheap shit not worth the paper box it came out of.

Oh yes. Oh, then he'd be lucky. Then he'd get what he wants. He'd get you pregnant. Again. You’d be all soft around the edges and glowing like a full, terracotta moon with hair as glossy as a fresh tube of lipstick.

His hips stutter. Yes yes yes yes yes--!

He grips your hips tight as he thrusts into you, not stopping until his balls are drained and his cock is limp. He flops against you, burying his face in your minty, citrusy, cinnamon-y hair.

“I love you,” he mumbles.

He can hear the smile in your voice. “Love you too, Bugs.”

———

00:57

Sad little whimpers in his ear distract him from his carousing with the crew. You're significantly more fucked up than he is and on round eight of a three-round game of cards, so he slips away without disturbing you.

Keeda is sleeping when he enters his cabin, but the little twitches and whimpers suggest it’s not a restful one.

He tickles the bottom of his foot -- his teeny tiny little foot -- and the boy wakes with a start. He starts to cry, only to falter as he sees his father, his lip quivering and his eyes watering. 

Buggy scoops the boy into his arms. “Shh,” he says. “Daddy's here. Don't worry.”

He strokes his fingers through the boy’s hair. Keeda coos like a dove, trying to burrow his face into his chest. Failing in that endeavor, he peers up at Buggy with those enormous eyes.

Somewhere, deep in his heart, Buggy knows that all the treasure in the world couldn't match the feeling of holding his son in his arms. And that all the praise and all the applause would be nothing compared to the way you smile at him like you have a secret to keep.

But why settle for just two people when he could have the adoration of them all?

He sits down on the bed, propped up against the headboard, cradling the boy close. “You're gonna be a prince someday,” he whispers. “A little pirate prince. Daddy’s gonna be king and they’re gonna love you as much as him.”

Keeda exhales heavily, letting out a soft peep as he goes limp. His eyes drift closed.

Buggy is suddenly very aware of how tired he is. He lays back into the pillows. “Go to sleep,” he murmurs. “Go to sleep...”

---

To the "Curious Courtship" Masterpost | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

[peterman-spideyparker]

Brief-ish, unsolicited thoughts about the Moon Boys

Not proofread, written on my phone on the fly, posted on the app so if it looks wonky that’s why

Let’s start with our sweet sweet Steven.

He’s such a sweet and doting boyfriend.

Kisses morning, noon, and night.

Steven loves to cook for you. Every dish is exquisite and full of flavor, and packed with love.

At least once a week, you visit him at the museum for lunch. On nice days, you eat lunch on the museum steps. When there’s gloomy London weather, he’ll sneak you into a closed exhibit or the storage room to enjoy some private time.

One thing he loves the most is when you’re at home and you both sit on the couch and read. His hand is always laced with yours, kissing your knuckles and cuddling in close.

In terms of sexy time, I think Steven’s favorite position might be doggy style. Don’t get me wrong, he does enjoy missionary. But doggy style allows him to have a certain kind of control that he lacks at work—and that he sometimes feels that he lacks within the system. He always feels like he has a say in his relationship with you, but doggy style . . . doggy style is control for him. You’re at his mercy on all fours, and how fast you get your pleasure is solely due to his actions.

Sometimes, he’ll mix it up by holding your arms behind your back while he keeps you upright, and other times he’ll push you down so your face is in the pillows and your ass is in the air, acting as his only real focal point.

He’s also been known for a swift spank here and there, but he can’t help it. He really loves your butt.

After, there’s a lot of snuggles. Either big spoon/little spoon where you’re the little spoon and he’s pressing kisses all over your shoulder and neck and wherever else he can reach without moving too much, or if it’s face to face with foreheads resting together, limbs tangled, and the whispering of sweet nothings mixed with kisses, he’s a gentleman through and through when it comes to taking care of you.

And now Marc. This poor man needs all the snuggles.

He didn’t want to date you. Like at all. He would try his best to keep you away, but he always found himself drawn to you.

One day, he bit the bullet and asked you out for some coffee. It’s coffee—what’s the worst that could happen. Famous last words.

By the time you drank half of your drink, he was smitten, and by the end of your respective cups, he knew he was in love.

He waited nearly a week after that date until he texted you.

“She’s not gonna respond, Spector,” he grumbles ten seconds after clicking send, rubbing his hands down his face.

You respond an hour later, and Marc is mortified to look at his phone, but feels like he can breathe again when he reads your message.

“Sorry, I was giving a presentation at work! Dinner sounds great. How about Thursday?”

He’s truly flabbergasted. You said yes.

The night of the date, he gets to the restaurant early, twiddling his thumbs and wringing his hands as he stands across the street, watching if you actually come. Panic washes over him when he sees you get to the restaurant, getting a table for two in the patio area. He knows the second that he crosses the street and sits across from you, he’s done. He’d be yours forever.

Time moves fast while he works up the nerve to cross the street, and he jumps out of his skin when he feels his phone vibrate.

“Hey,” he breathes shakily.

“Hey,” you mimic. “You know, I can see you standing across the street. I have this whole time. Marc, if you didn’t want to—.”

“That’s not it,” he interrupts. He can’t let you think like that. “I’m just . . . It sounds ridiculous.” He lets out a deep breath. “I’m nervous.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” you reassure him softly as you turn and look at him in the eyes from across the street. “But I can tell you from many years of experience of being nervous and anxious—the best way to stop being nervous is to just do the thing freaking you out. It has to happen eventually, and if you keep building it up in your head, it’ll only get worse.”

He lets out a shallow breath, hanging up and jogging across the street to you.

When it comes to sex, I feel Marc has two positions he really prefers—missionary, and lotus.

Marc is a man that like control, but he also takes great comfort in predictability, which is what these positions offer for him: they both allow him to be as close as possible to you, he can change little motions in his hips to make it rougher or gentler for you, he can go deep, and most importantly, he can see your face. He can see every last iota of pleasure on your features, he can kiss you over and over, and you ground him, reminding him you’re here with him and that everything is okay.

He always marks up your neck one way or another. Sometimes it’s lingering wet kisses, other times it’s red marks that fade, and more often than not, little purple hickies on the column of your neck that remain for long after the sex has stopped.

You’ve come to find that Marc likes a little pain while you’re being intimate. Not much, but a scratch of your nails through his hair, on his back, or on his arms turns him into putty in your hands.

Cuddles are mandatory aftercare for Marc. You keep him present and remind him that even if he’s feeling low, you’re there for him.

More often than not, it’s face to face cuddles, his head resting on your chest so he can listen to your heart while you play with his curls.

And just like with aftercare cuddles, Marc will always wake up early the next day to make you breakfast in bed. It’s nothing grand—truly, sometimes it’s toaster waffles and a cup of coffee—but you absolutely love it.

Now to Jake.

He’s attracted to you as soon as he meets you, but he chose to stay deep within the headspace until he knew you weren’t gonna leave or hurt Marc or Steven.

He doesn’t stick around for more than fifteen minutes when he does eventually come out, but you’re warm and kind to him.

“You must be Jake,” you hum with a soft smile. “I’m happy to finally meet you.”

Jake just nods, leaning back and drinking his spiked coffee and watching you go about your morning as you read the paper.

One day, Jake is fronting when he comes home after a rough mission. He sees you on the couch, looking lonely and less vibrant and, well, looking less you than you usually do.

He takes off his jacket and hat, putting it on the stand by the door. Jake moves over to where you are on the couch, sitting down next to you, and carefully wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to rest on him.

You both don’t know what to do at first, both stiff and nervous, but when you shimmy down on the couch to get comfortable on him, he breathes a sigh of relief. Jake tilts his head and rests his cheek on the top of your head.

The romance between you two is slow, but it’s strong. And once the fuse is lit, there’s no stopping it.

The first time Jake kisses you, he’s nervous, but as soon as his lips meet yours, he knows with every ounce of his body that you’re the only person outside of the system that he could ever love.

The kiss turns into a make out session, and that make out session results in both of your clothes being shed all over the apartment and you trapped between his body and the mattress.

You two spin around in a litany of positions, but Jake loves it when you’re on top, hands on his chest, riding him like an award-winning equestrian front and back.

His hands grip your hips not to guide you or control you, but as a firm, silent encouragement for your actions.

Jake praises you in Spanish all through your lovemaking, calling you every pet name in the book: “corazón”, “hermosa”, “amore”, and so many others. His fluency and the lit of his pitch goes right to your core, only making the sex more incredible.

After both of you are spent, Jake kisses your cheek and neck, moving to the bathroom to get a cool damp cloth to cool down your burning skin and cleaning you up between your legs.

Jake tosses the towel into the nearby bathroom, somehow getting it to rest and hang over the side of the tub.

He rests on his side as he watches you lie on your back, looking up at him and lacing your fingers together and talking about anything that comes to mind before you fall asleep in his arms.

[adrienneleclerc]

Prison For Life pt. 2

Paring: Walter Marshall x Hispanic/Latina Reader

Summary: more of Walter and Y/N’s relationship

A/N: there are probably many spelling mistakes

I'm no damsel in distress, no But I like assertiveness, so

Y/N and Walter have been dating for almost a year now and she was sleeping over at Walter's house. It was the middle of the night and Y/N woke to get a drink of water when she heard a noise that definitely did not come from her. She walked to Walter's side of the bed and started shaking him awake.

"Guapo, guapo, wake up." Y/N whispered as she shook him.

"Mm, baby girl, its late, we'll play later." Walter said, snuggling up to the bed and Y/N slapped his shoulder.

"No seas payaso, I heard something coming from downstairs, I’m gonna check.” Y/N said. She grabbed the hockey stick that Walter keeps in the closet but Walter got up from bed and took the hockey stick out of her hand. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up.

“Darling, I’ll go check downstairs. Relax, stay calm, I’ll be back.” Walter kissed her forehead and he walked downstairs to check where the noise was coming from to see his daughter raiding his fridge. “Faye? What are you doing her? I thought you were supposed to be with your mom.”

“I was. But then I went to this party and your house is closer. What is this?” Faye asks Walter, holding up a Tupperware full of food Y/N cooked.

“It’s lomo saltado.” Walter said, Faye shrugs her shoulders and starts beating up the food in the microwave “Does your mom know you’re here?” Walter asked.

“I called her before getting an Uber here, I am not that irresponsible, father. Is she upstairs?” Faye asked.

“Yes, she woke me up because of the noise she heard downstairs.” Walter said.

“Sorry, it’s hard to raid a refrigerator quietly when there is so much Tupperware, when does she find the time to cook?” Faye asked. She took out the food from the microwave and started eating it. “It’s really good, I’m glad you stopped eating those frozen dinners.”

“Just wash it when you’re done, do you need me to set up the guest bedroom?” Walter asked.

“I can set it up myself, dad. Go with your girlfriend, get some sleep, love you.” Faye said, hugging Walter.

“Love you too, don’t stay up too late.” Walter said, kissing her forehead and went upstairs. He entered his bedroom and saw Y/N in bed. “Everything is fine, it was just Faye.” Walter gets under the covers.

“Thank you for checking.” Y/N said.

“I’ll always check downstairs for strange noises, either with a hockey stick, baseball bat, or my gun.” Walter said, he wrapped his arm around Y/N.

“Do you even play hockey or baseball?” Y/N asked.

“It’s Minnesota, the police department has hockey games with the fire department.” Walter said and Y/N laughed.

“Oh, que funny, that’s hilarious. Okay, Goodnight, oso gruñón, i love you.” Y/N gave Walter a kiss.

“You did not just call me ‘grumpy bear’, baby girl.” Walter said.

“I’m sleeping, can’t hear you.” Y/N said and Walter laughed to himself and just spooned her, falling asleep peacefully.

Wrap your arm around me babe And say that you’ll keep me safe

Walter was making popcorn while Y/N was on the couch with a blanket over her, they were watching a scary movie, 16 months of dating.

"Walter, te lo juro juradito if you don't get your ass back here." Y/N started

"Mi vida, the popcorn is almost done." Walter said,

"Why the hell are we watching a horror movie?" Y/N asked.

"I distinctly remember you saying that you could handle a scary movie, I told you that we could watch one of those romcoms that you like, but you insisted. So we are watching a horror movie because of you. Besides, aren't you a big fan of Supernatural? Horror movies should be no problem." Walter said, pouring the popcorn into a big bowl.

"Supernatural is different, it stops being scary after season 5, honeslty. Most of the episodes are about monsters and demons, the scariest epsiodes are when it was humans behind the killings. Also, there was a fucking crossover with Scooby Doo, not scary, now sit, I don't like where this is going." Y/N said

Walter leaves the kitchen and sits beside Y/N, immediately wrapping his arm around her, pulling her to snugglie into him, which she does gladly. There was a jumpscare and Y/N hid inthe crook of his neck. Walter chuckled, rubbing her back attempting to soothe her. Walter the leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"It is just a movie, I'll always be here to keep you safe, no matter what." Walter kissed the top of her head and changed the movie. "You clearly need to watch 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' after that." Walter said and Y/N perked up.

"I love Hugh Dancy! He was so cute in that movie, but he will always be prince Charmont to me." Y/N said.

"Is he the reason why you like British guys?" Walter asked,

"Yes, yes he is." Y/N said.

"I need to send him thank you letter, maybe a gift, lets watch the movie." Walter said, getting comfortable again with his arm wrapped around Y/N.

I know it's bad to fantasize About robbers and bad guys But if he were there to save the day, ha Think I'd let that man marry me

Walter was cooking in Y/N’s apartment and shewas sipping wine, watching him, a year and a half into the relationship.

"Oso, are you sure you don't want help?" Y/N asked.

"I'm fine, hermosa, I really want to get this recipe right, I don't want you to have to do all the cooking." Walter said.

"Thats sweet, Oso." Y/N said, she walked over to where he was standing and kissed his cheek. She went back to where she was and like most women do, she asked a hypothetical question. "Hey Oso, what would you do of someone broke into the house?"

"What?" Walter turned away from the stove, looking at Y/N

"If we were home and someone broke into the house to try and rob us or kidnap me, or whatever, what would you do?" Y/N asked.

"Why are you asking?" Walter said.

"I dont know, curiousity, boredom, just answer the question."

"If they try to rob us, I'll put you behind me and tell you to call 911 or text Harper so he could send squad cars immediately. I'll keep you out of harm's way. If they try to kidnap you, I am putting my fight training and gun to use, because anyone who lays a finger on your head, theirs would be on the ground next." Walter said.

"That was such an amazing answer." Y/N said.

"What can I say? I am very protective." Walter said and he turned away so he could focus on the sauce.

I know I can protect myself (Ah) But when you do it for me, it's hot as hell (Ah) You got my heart, you know me too well (Ah) Think I'd even send you love letters in jail (Ah)

Y/N was at the bar drinking with her friends to celebrate Monica's promotion.

“Hey, I think I'm gonna call it a night. ” Y/N commented.

“Of course you are! If i had a man like yours, I would be dying to go home and let him do whatever he wanted to me.” Y/N's bestie. Isabela slurred, the other girls laughed.

"Yes! Girl, you gotta tell me something, how is he in bed? How BIG is he?" Monica asked.

"Okay I'm not answering that." Y/N said, walking away so she could call Walter.

"He has to be amazing and pretty big, I've seen the way she walks after she spends a night with Walter." Another friend, Tori, said. Y/N shook her head giggling before calling Walter. It took two rings for him to pick up.

"Hey baby girl, how's your night out with your friends?" Walter asked as he was making a coffee.

“Hey Oso, my night is good, my friends are a little tipsy, I'm spent though, can you pick me up?” Y/N answered, folding the laundry.

“Sure thing, baby girl, let me just coat, which bar are you at again?” Walter asked as he put on his coat and got his keys.

“You know the bar that's by the ice cream shop where we had our first date?” Y/N asked, sitting at the bar to wait for Walter, Walter smiled at the memory.

“Yeah, I know the one, I'm on my way, baby girl, love you.” Walter said before hanging up the phone, leaving the house and getting into his truck.

Y/N stayed at the bar so Walter doesn't have to look for her but it looks like it was a bad idea because an older man sat next to her.

"How you doin', doll, can I buy you a drink?" he asked her. She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"I'm fine, but I don't accept that drink, thank you though." Y/N said, trying to be polite and avoid confrontation.

"Oh come on, whats the matter? A sexy woman like you alone in a bar amd you're not accepting my drink?" the man asked.

"I am not alone and i have a boyfriend." Y/N said, again rejecting the man.

"Every woman says that." The man said and Y/N had enough so she got up from the chair and tried to walk away when the man grabbed her wrist, thats when Y/N's friends spotted her and went over to the bar. The one time Y/N doesn't bring her knife, what a nightmare.

"Let go of our friend right now." Monica said.

"Tori, go get security." Isabela said. Tori did as she asked. Walter then entered the bar and spotted that his baby girl was in a situation.

"Your friend here was being a bitch." the man said.

"She has a boyfriend, now let her go." Monica demanded.

"I don't see him." The man said and thats when Walter appeared next to the women.

"Now you do, what seems to be the problem?" Walter asked. Walter easily towered over the man.

"This cabrón is pissed that i said no to a drink and now he won't let go." Y/N addressed Walter, looking up at him..

"Let go of her sir before we have a real problem." Walter threated. The man let go of Y/N and she went with Monica and Isabela.

"Next time don't let your girl leave the house dressed like a whore, bitch was asking for some attention." That was when Walter said 'fuck being civil' and punched the guy in the face."

"Don't ever speak that way about my girl again or it will be the last thing you do." Walter said over the man on the ground.

Looks like this man wasn't going down easily and he got up, trying to punch Walter but Walter had police training and it became a full blown fight between these two men. When Tori finally got security, he called the police and Walter and the man were put in different holding cells because Walter knew if that dumbass kept running his mouth, Walter was going to spend the night in jail. Y/N came in and posted bail for Walter, an officer walked out to Y/N with Walter and his belongings.

“Since Detective Marshall explained the man had his hands on you and of course him being an officer, this is a warning.” The officer said. "Next time its a cell." He warned Walter.

“Thank you, officer. Vámonos Oso.” Y/N said, holding the door open for Walter so they could leave. Once they’re in the car, no one spoke a word.

“I’m fine, baby girl.” Walter said, breaking the silence. “I’m not hurt at all.” Y/N was still silent. “Listen, I’m sorry i scared you, I lost my temper and I wish you didn’t see that. But he doesn’t get to badmouth you in front of me and walk away with his teeth still intact.”

“Im not scared that you hit him.” Y/N said.

“Then what scared you?” Walter asked.

“It scared me how much I liked you going all protective like that.” Y/N said and Walter paused for a second.

“You’re telling me that me going all caveman on that bastard is attractive to you?” Walter questioned.

“You know I can protect myself, but you are always there to protect me, and I find that very hot. It was very primal in a way.” Y/N said. “And for some reason I like it.”

“But how far is too far?” Walter asked, genuinely curious.

“I’ll tell you this, Walter, if you end up in jail for murdering a guy because you’re defending me or protecting me, I will write you love letters.” Y/N said seriously. Walter out his hand on Y/N’s thigh, rubbing his thumb over it before grabbing her hand and kissed the back of her hand.

I'm a feminist obviously (Oh) But I wouldn't really mind him savin' me (Savin' me) And I know that I'm fine without a man (Without a man) But I think I'd like his protection And God knows that I don't need no one But pretending that I do is kind of fun (Kind of fun) Yeah, I know that I'm fine without a man But I think I'd like his protection (I'd like his protection) I'm just bein' honest, can't change what I like I'll never forget it, he told me one night (Night) "If anybody hurts you, oh I'm goin' to prison for life"

Y/N’s friends were over for hot chocolate and pan dulce and Walter was busy installing a new light in Y/N’s bedroom.

“Hey love, can you get my toolbox? I left it in the living room!” Walter called out.

“Sure thing, Oso.” Y/N said. “I’ll be right back, ladies.” Y/N got the toolbox off the living room table and went to her room where saw saw Walter on a ladder, wearing a gray t-shirt, blue jeans, and his tool belt.

“Thank you baby girl.” He got down from the ladder to kiss her. “Save me a concha please, the chocolate one.”

“Of course, Oso.” Y/N said, she got into the kitchen and her 3 friends stared at her. “What? Like you don’t have husbands doing this stuff?”

“Yeah, we have husbands, but didn’t you tell us that your dad taught you how to fix this stuff so you wouldn’t depend on a man?” Tori said.

“Well I know how to do things but I don’t want to have to, you know? Like can i take my car to the shop? Of coarse I can! Do I want to? No, Walter takes it for me and I don’t get hustled.”

“Love that for you.” Isabela said.

“Yeah, he’s the best, would do anything for me. He’s protective.” Y/N said. “But seriously, don’t eat all the conchas, Walter wants a chocolate one.”

An hour later, the friends left and Walter finished the maintenance in Y/N’s room.

“Ooh yes, a chocolate concha.” Walter said as he sat at the table to eat it.

“Thanks for installing my light.” Y/N said.

“Yeah of course, as long as your with me, apartment maintenance is my job.” Walter said, kissing her.

“Thank you. Quick question; you remember what you said to me a year ago? When you saw my scar?” Y/N asked.

“You mean where I said I would go to prison for life to protect? Of course, and I still mean it, and I’ll always mean it.” Walter did, kissing her again.

The End

Taglist: @warriormirkwood @nerdyreaderpapi

[rzyraffek]

Alr yall Eddie Gluskin brainrot part 2 or something. ITS MADE FOR MY PERSONAL NEEDS TO VENT ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM ALR DONT JUDGE scroll down for hyper important notes

Tw: eggie gluskin is his own warning, dub-con???(not really tho), erm eddie gluskin??? Ermmm idk yandere? A bit of nsfw (but there's warning beforehand) ALSO REQUEST OPEN FOR EDDIE SIMPS

Silly Eddie Gluskin headcanons

This idea is my personal one (so prepare). Imagine s/o in that spooky psych ward and she just hangs out around Eddie CUZ LETS BE HONEST HE IS THE SAFEST OPION OUT THERE😭 LIKE rest of people there bearly speak and would bite my toes off. Also I would totally get lost, so fallowing this dude is my best option

Tbh he at least pretends that hes nice😭

Also bro is mesmerised by her cuz 'shes not like other whores' cuz she doesnt scream or run away.

After he got attached (so in like 3minutes) he starts to fallow her like lost puppy and has dumb smile on his face for the whole time

He he w- he when he wh- when he- he when-

He is also very physical🥰 if he cant hug he holds hands, AND he talks a lot too... o my god

the only red flag is that he immediately wants to erm have babies 😔 BRO WANTS TO FUCK ON FIRST DATE😰🤯

Home boy 100% commits cannibalism THERES NOTHING TO EAT HERE ALR

Trying to escape WITH Eddie? Like acually from the ward? Say less

Beats up everyone, litteraly everyone. Somone stands near her in 50meter radius? They are totally dangerous mind if i stab?

Fatherless with attachment issues 👍🧍‍♂️

Loves when s/o sits on his lap, and loves being a big spoon. Litteraly melts when she grabs his hand

He 'invites' her on dates and makes some weird ass food (probably cooked rats) and if she refuses to eat he gonna grab that fork and force it inside her cuz darling you need to stay fed and healthy

He is very into domestic type shit, so if shes okay with becoming housewife he is flying away, blushing, kicking, screaming, begging for more. I mean he still would make her a housewife but its cute that she consents and he doest have to do all this threatening and manipulation stuff to make her do so

If she bakes cookies for him he will litteraly has one of those 'its so cute i want to squash it' moments and cup her cheeks and kiss all over (aggressively)

Believes in zodiac signs and tried to learn tarot once

She has to force him to stop using hair gel he looks like he has boat on his head

Looks like he smells nice but I doubt that

Kinda likes when she tries to run away? let's be honest I doubt that s/o was in love with him from the start, he is some random weird looking dude in hospital after all. So yeah he kinda liked (and still does) enjoy the whole prey/hunter thingy

ALR NOW NSFW TIME YALL CHILDREN LOOK AWAY

Lets start with obvious stuff, breeding kink, whole pregnancy stuff, likes his wife cute and obedient, but its kinda fun to chase her around once per few days, see her fear and panic o m g he loves that

He also fucks whenever he wants really, she has to have really good relationship with him to make him lisen and do what she asks him for (to some degree anyways)

Table, chair, wall, bed that he tortures people on, his bed, floor, any place is a good place to make some love

When he's not horny he is acually romantic (rare) he gives neck kisses, holds hands, talks about his plans for future, makes sure that stuff shes wearing and her hair is in good condition, bare minimum yknow

Also I use she/her and 'wife' stuff cuz even if s/o is the most masculine guy ever he is still cute lady in his eyes or something idc

My guy can do fast and rough or slow and deep. Depents of his mood really, if s/o annoyed him or he's just simply frustrated he will be rough, and do it no matter what she was doing, oh you were doing laundry? Not anymore, hop on this washingmachine, we are going on a ride. If he's in more romantic mood and s/o too, he will pick them up, kiss them, do it nice and deep to make sure that s/o feels everything

Tbh he loves 'hunting his prey (shes the prey lol)' prompt so much! Looking for her, feeling her fear... o my god this gets him going so hardddd

Bite marks on her, Hickeys on him

ALSO O MY GOD HER SITTING ON HIS LAP? omg imagine, s/o riding him, Eddie guiding her hips with hands HE DIES OMG YOIR SO CUTEEE

NOT ME WRITING WHOLE ARTICLE ABOUT EGGIE FUCKING GLUSKIN OMG IM SORRY😭 ALSO I was attacked by horse 2days ago and zapped by electric fence twice, just to buy a kebab, Im a survivor you all

[emjiroki]

I see you looking for Enji asks, and I come baring thots!

Enji has a long day, and all he needs is his sweet to come and ease the stress. Meanwhile she has a hot bath waiting for him, a cold glass and a hot meal. She massages his back while he's in the tub and he just has to find a way to say thank you, if you catch my drift. 👀😏

Much love on all your works, honestly!! I am a huge fan!

-🧚🏼‍♀️

This made me smile so big! Thank you lovely! ❤️❤️❤️ (sorry for the very late reply I hope you see this! 😭)

I haven't written for Enji in a bit so I have many thoughts about this...

18+ under the cut MINORS DNI

Enji had just gotten out of the bath, just barely caring enough to pull on his sweatpants before going downstairs where you were in the kitchen. The muscles in his shoulders were finally relaxed after you took the time to run him a bath and massage until he felt some relief, it seemed only fair to return the favor.

It was as if an Angel had descended upon his kitchen when he turned the corner to find you. Making his plate despite him not asking you to, looking so sweet and tempting in your comfy clothes. You jumped a little when his hands wrapped around your waist, years of hero work making him light in his feet and quiet when he wanted to be.

"Dinners ready" you said softly with a smile as he pressed against your back, his nose skimming up your throat to kiss behind your ear.

"Mmm" he hummed against your skin, his fingers going to the waist band of your pants and pulling them down around your ankles along with your panties.

"E-Enji!" You exclaimed, dropping the spoon in your hands and gripping onto the counter as he dropped into a squat behind you, one big hand splayed across your lower back to press you forward. The hand not holding you gripped the flesh of your ass, spreading you a little for him as he pressed his mouth to your cunt, pleasantly surprised to find it damp for him and his tongue delved out between your folds. A shocked little moan spilled past your lips as he held you still, his soft groans of satisfaction burning your cheeks and making your legs shake.

"Dinner is g-gonna get cold," you said, trying to edge your hips away even as your eyes were nearly crossing from the pleasure of his hot tongue devouring you.

"So?" He murmured, his voice muffled against your soaking core.

Suddenly, he was man handling you backwards, twisting his body around and press his back to the lower cabinet while sitting on the floor and dragging you forward again, your legs spread on either side of him, his nose nudging against your clit before his lips wrapped around it and suckled against his tongue. Your pleasured sounds filled up the quiet kitchen, your brain fuzzy as he felt two of his fingers slide up and into you, curling against that spot that sent electric jolts up your spine. Both of your hands were in his hair, tugging and tousling it as he dragged you over the edge. Once your knees were shaking and you were panting he leaned back, a satisfied look gleaming in his bright eyes.

"Now I'll eat dinner, then we're going to bed so I can finish what I started".

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 64 - Gandalf's Dilemma

You gotta make a decision.

On AO3.

The sun needs to die. Or you do. But you’re gunning for the sun because it’s a little bitch.

“Gale, can you do something?” you say. It comes out mostly coherent?

Gale hums as he uses a hook to pull off the pot lid. Gives the potatoes and onions simmering inside a stir. It should smell delicious. You would normally commit atrocities for a good plate of fried potatoes.

But now?

The nausea twists your gut and you hang your head between your knees, drooling a little cause nobody’s looking and the idea of swallowing…

“I already told you,” Gale says. “Drink that water and eat the toast and then we’ll talk.”

Each heartbeat tries to split your skull from the inside. That’s the only thing keeping you from curling up on your side in the dirt.

“This is bullshit,” you say. “Alcohol is bullshit.”

“You might want to sit elsewhere for this part,” Gale says.

You squint through Baby’s First Hangover to see him approaching that pot with a plate of some kinda shredded meat.

Acid threatens to burble up your throat. You’re up and staggering away—after a reminder to take your water and your dry bread.

You find a stump stool one of the tieflings left the night before. Sit yourself down on that. It’s thankfully in the shade of a big, leafy tree.

“It’s your own fault, you know,” Gale says and gives his stirring spoon a jaunty whirl.

“Fuck off,” you whine. “Didn’t know it was gonna do this or wouldn’t a done it.”

“And that is precisely what makes this such an excellent learning opportunity.”

You mutter something about shoving that spoon down his throat. Right as Shadowheart emerges for the morning. She spots you. Lifts one eyebrow.

“Help?” you say.

“It’s far too early to tap into my resources, I’m afraid,” she says. “What did you do?”

“Mrngh.”

“Our dear Eleanor drank two bottles of wine quite rapidly on an empty stomach, from what I gather,” Gale says. The meat hisses and spits as he dumps it into the pot. You hum as you inhale and try to squelch the puke. “Which is something she’s never done before.”

“Drink wine?” Shadowheart says.

“Get drunk,” you croak.

Both eyebrows shoot up. The barest flicker of a smile twitches her lips. “What, really?”

“It tastes like ass.”

“Then why do it?”

And the reason why chooses that moment to stick his head out of his tent.

Astarion is usually the first one up. Apparently elves don’t sleep—he “reveries” or some shit—very long. And Gale (the third earliest riser, after Astarion and Lae’zel) says he always finds the man sitting in the brightest patch of sunlight he can find.

Today, he slept in. And he joins y’all looking grumpier than usual. He only pauses to look at the sun, before heading off towards the druids bathing pools (which you didn’t know about until this morning, those fuckers).

You look back to find Shadowheart, chin propped up in her hand, watching you. Judgmentally.

You break off a piece of bark from your stump stool and toss it at her. You miss by a metric fucking mile. She watches the piece of dead tree sail past, and her face silently screams, “Really?”

“’S been a long week,” you say. “I just…didn’t wanna think no more.”

Her gaze flicks down to your tits. Or what you carry between them, anyway, and she thaws.

“If you’re foolish enough to try that again,” she says, “don’t expect help from me next time?”

And her hands glow blue and she lays them on you and the hangover from hell lifts like morning mist.

You might cry a little. It’s such a relief, everybody would understand.

You might also give real thought into kissing her. Platonically. The vampire already has your first kiss, and an innocent peck on her pink lips don’t mean nothing as a thank you, right?

“You’re a goddess,” you say.

“I only serve one,” she says.

To which Gale perks up like a dog who heard a cheese wrapper. “Ah! You’ve never disclosed which form of the divine you’ve dedicated yourself to.”

It’s a question, though he don’t exactly phrase it that way. But Shadowheart pulls herself in faster than a turtle on a highway.

Gale, bless him, picks up on this and pivots back to the campfire. “And this should all be ready in a moment, for whoever’s hungry.”

Shadowheart nods, and you wonder if she knows how obvious she is when she lets her guard back down.

The others emerge, stretching and yawning. Lae’zel turns up covered in sweat and looking pisser than normal. Shadowheart goes to join Gale and the others, but stops to say, “Drink the water and eat that bread you’re carrying around. I’d do it before it starts to stale.”

Goddamnit.

You give her a salute with the squished bread and bring the waterskin up to your lips.

“Hey fuckos!” Karlach bellows as she pops into view down the path to the tiefling caves. “Guess who got her fucking engine stabilized?!”

***

Karlach still cannot touch nobody. You can tell she’s real bummed by that, but the whole “not gonna spontaneously combust” part puts some pep back in her step.

Once everybody’s done congratulating her and got themselves washed up (those fuckers) and are just standing around, Halsin the bigass druid shows back up. You’re feeling better, enough to polish off the rest of Gale’s scramble as everybody gathers around.

Where the big man drops a fucking bombshell:

The brainworms are magic.

He can’t touch them.

They’re connected to this new, shitass cult.

The cult is all holed up in someplace called Moonrise Towers, which sounds lovely, nestled within the heart of the Shadowcursed Lands, which don’t sound lovely at all.

It’s gonna be a bitch and a half to get there.

“What was even the point of all this?” Astarion says. He listened to the entire thing with his arms folded across his chest, but now flails one hand around all dramatic.

“I am sorry to leave you with such ill news,” Halsin says. “But there may yet be answers once you reach the towers.”

“How far away is that?” Karlach says.

About two weeks. Either through a cave system (your brain lovingly serves you images of albino cannibal monsters) or through a mountain pass.

And Lae’zel starts to fucking vibrate.

“The pass,” she says. “That is where the istik said he saw my people. The creche lies in that direction.”

“You think a hovel full of gith will let us stroll into their camp to kindly remove our little horrors?” Shadowheart says.

Lae’zel’s eyes narrow. She lifts her chin. “They will should you be accompanied by a child of Creche K’liir.”

“The mountain pass has grown very dangerous,” Halsin says. “And not just from accounts of githyanki patrols. We’ve heard word of roaming bands of cultists. Even my people hesitate to traverse it unless they go by wing.”

And ain’t that such an interesting sentence. Druids can turn into animals; what effect would that even have on a people? One of them could turn into a bird to fly a message clear over to another grove. That kind of communication is what modern Earth is built on.

“I would advise you to travel through the Underdark,” the big man says. “Though it presents many challenges of its own.”

“Such as unseen monsters, murderous drow, and the natural danger of cave ins?” Gale says. “Actually, that all sounds rather fascinating.”

But Lae’zel ain’t having none of it. She turns to you, lizard pupils narrowed to slits. “You gave me your word we would finally cease this nonsense and seek out my people once you’d wasted our time searching for useless, istik cures.”

“Rude phrasing,” you say as Halsin’s lips pull into a thin line. But. She ain’t wrong. You sigh. “I did say that. And you been real patient so far.”

Shadowheart scowls, while Karlach swings her arms like she’s getting ready to dead lift the druid.

“I have heard many tales of the Underdark,” Wyll says, grimacing a little. “None of them very pleasant. And it’s rather hard to retreat if we’re trapped underground.”

“Pish posh,” Gale says, apparently exactly the type of man to use that phrase and mean it. “I can transport us out of any situation if it comes down to it.”

Astarion is being real quiet. You look over to ask his opinion, only to catch him looking away all in a rush.

Your memories of last night are kinda hazy. You know he found you out there, and that he stole what was left of your wine. Y’all…talked? Worst of all, you think you mighta cried.

Heat crawls up your neck as you look back to the others. Clear your throat.

“I do think,” you say, slow and careful, “that we should try Lae’zel’s creche.”

The woman’s eyes light up. Her whole posture straightens, a soldier on parade. She says, “It is gratifying to see you still retain some tactical sense.”

“Such a fine endorsement,” Shadowheart says. Her jaw works a couple of times. She looks to you and, clearly unhappy, says, “I’ll trust your judgment. You haven’t led us too terribly astray.”

And you thought southerners were good with the backhanded compliments. A spark of warmth ignites in your chest even as the muscles in the back of your neck cinch tight.

“I agree,” Gale says. “And I’d be telling something of a mistruth if I said I wasn’t curious to see a githyanki creche.”

Lae’zel visibly puffs up.

“I’m in,” Karlach says as Wyll nods. Leaving the druid and Astarion.

Halsin speaks first. “I would request a boon of you. I have business with the Shadowcursed Lands. If you would have me, I would accompany you at least to Moonrise Towers.”

Wyll’s eyebrows shoot up. “What of the grove? With Kahga gone, who will act as archdruid?”

A cloud covers Halsin’s face. The big man gives a pained shake of his head. “These people looked to me for safety and guidance, and I appointed an unworthy successor before I myself was captured. I’ve sent for another archdruid, Francesca of the High Forest. She’ll do a fine job.”

And if that don’t scream some kinda self-esteem survivor’s guilt.

You don’t offer any platitude. You don’t think it’d help the big man right now. “You’re a healer, ain’t you? No offense, Shadowheart.”

“None taken,” she says. Gives you another cool smile. “With as often as this lot gets itself torn to shreds, I’d more than welcome a second set of hands.”

“And he looks like he could lift me,” Karlach says. “I bet he can carry all kinds of stuff without setting it on fire.”

To which Halsin huffs. “If I am to be a pack mule, I shall willingly bear that burden.”

Did…did he just make a joke? It’s impossible to say; guy’s got a mean poker face. You reconsider the man.

And then you can’t stall no more. You find Astarion picking at his cuticles with one of his knives.

“Thoughts?” you say.

He glances over, all unreadable. “Oh, I don’t have a preference either way. Lead on.”

And that cinches it. Y’all are heading up into the mountains to find a den of lizard murder hobos. Huzzah.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Hellooo! How are you? I hope you are well, I would like to do a FGO commission, Headcannons for Morgan Le Fay, Baobhan Sith, Mélusine and Barghest in love with Reader (Master) I would really like to see this, please let me know if you can or not, it's ok if you can't , thank you 😊

Your Wish Is My Command!

(My first Fate request, I had a lot of fun with this! Especially Barghest, but that’s probably because she’s my favorite!  Sorry if it’s shorter than you were expecting or if a lot of it doesn’t make sense. My allergies have been kicking my ass and I had to take one of those pills that knock you out harder than Mike Tyson when I wrote this!)

Morgan Le Fay

Morgan has the type of style that could only be defined as “Extravagantly Simplistic”

If you don’t understand what I mean by this just look at her dress.

This same style and poise carries over into the relationship you two share.

It doesn’t matter if it’s sleeping or fighting she always keeps a certain elegance about her no matter what.

But this doesn’t mean she’s cold, in fact it’s quite the opposite, she is a very warm hearted person especially with you.

All of that said, do be careful whenever you hear her reciting something under her breath in the Fae tongues, it could be anything from a curse to a shopping list, or both!

Morgan is definitely the small spoon, in pretty much everything when she’s with you but she doesn’t mind being the big spoon every now and then.

She’s probably very violently dismembered someone after they insulted you then asked if you wanted ice cream with a smile.

All in All Morgan is a very kind and giddy significant other unless you are put in the crosshairs of something which in that case… well just pray she doesn’t torture it for to long.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“OH! Hello there my spouse! I’m glad to see your wounds have healed!” a blood drenched Morgan happily exclaimed as she kicked a flayed arm into a magical fire.

You simply gazed at the fire and asked “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that was the guy who got the jump on me?” plainly, completely used to Morgan’s overprotective nature.

Morgan simply smiled and nodded

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Baobhan Sith

Baobhan’s style is simply extravagant, at least until she’s alone but I’ll circle around to that in a bit.

In a LOT of way’s she’s a brattier version of her mother.

Be warned though, she is stubborn and petty! Which is quite the combination!

She definitely strikes me as the type to spend her days off sitting in a too large T-Shirt and shorts eating Ice Cream while watching horror movies alone before she accidentally puts on a soap opera and gets sucked in.

She will not hesitate to roast someone so hard they spontaneously combust.

Baobhan is not someone who likes large gatherings of people so she much prefers quality time with just the two of you though she’d rather die before admitting it.

She Says she's a top, she’s not, she’s a sub, small spoon in everything she couldn’t be the big spoon if she tried.

Baobhan is probably the second most possessive person on this list.

That being said she’s probably the last one to jump to violence, wounds are temporary, the destruction Baobhan can unleash with her words is eternal.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You opened the door to the home that you and Baobhan shared where you immediately tripped over an ice cream carton which was followed by the sound of someone scrambling to change the channel on the TV.

When you walked into the living room you saw Baobhan surrounded by an army of Ice cream cartons with puffy red eye’s

“Were you crying?” You asked.

“nO!” Baobhan lied poorly

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Mélusine 

Melusine’s style is quote: “Warm”

Sweaters, pants, jackets, the works.

She’s a very physical person, all about hugs, handholding, and staying together no matter what.

All of that said, she is the second quickest to violence on this list.

She will absolutely NUKE whatever tries to harm you.

Bug?

NUKED!

Rat?

NUKED!

Some random jackass?

NUKED!

Crippling loneliness?

ABSOLUTELY OBLITERATED!!!

Mélusine is the smolest of spoons.

That being said! She will ABSOLUTELY use her size and cute eyes against you!

You have had to stop her from destroying the world on more than one occasion, usually because of traffic.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“So when are you going to be home My Master? The show will be starting soon!” Mélusine asked energetically.

You swallowed deeply as you said “Ah… right about that…” before trailing off.

“Master, think VERY carefully about what you say next.” Mélusine coldly stated.

“I’m caught in traffic” You quickly exclaimed, ripping the bandaid off.

Silence was all you heard before a loud boom

“Mélusine nO-”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Barghest

Barghest’s Style is just cute clothes like sundresses, she also likes to wear earthy colors.

Barghest is pretty awkward, she’s not really sure how to hug or kiss you most of the time mostly because of her size but also because she genuinely loves you and is afraid that she’ll eat you.

Well I say kiss, she licks you but that’s not the point.

Strikes me as the type to just mope around unless the two of you are together or if she’s doing something which usually includes cooking large portions of food, exercising, or watching something that catches her attention which is usually whatever has a catchy tune and some form of well choreographed action.

She loves being the big spoon though she also enjoys being the small spoon on occasion though before the two of you could even get to that point you had to teach her how to cuddle.

Barghest gets jealous pretty easily so watch out for that because that’s usually when she gets possessive and when she gets possessive… Well, I'll let you imagine what happens next (Hint: It involves any form of cushioned space around human size and biting).

She loves cooking, even more so when you’re with her, though be warned her “Normal sized” Portions could feed five men, so you're just going to have to force yourself to eat it.

She’s willing to get into a fight if she has to but she prefers not to.

You constantly have a bite mark on your collar bone, she also licks you on the neck when asked why she does this she gets a possessive and hungry glint in her eyes like she’s daring someone to challenge her and says.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I want every single man, woman, child, non-binary and agender person to know you are mine, Master!”

“Oh, okay!” You quietly squeaked out embarrassed.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

Hey there, have you written about the current ghouls helping their s/o after they had a super bad day where everything seems to go wrong?

I had one of those days this week, bad test, laptop crashed with around 2h unsaved progress and then I broke my ankle and shoulder...

Oh man, I'm so sorry you had such an awful time. :( I hope these days have been treating you so much better! Hope these make you smiles. <3

Era V Ghouls Helping You Through a Crappy Day

Ember/Sodo: His kneejerk reaction to hearing you are having a bad day is to ask whose ass does he need to kick!! It was such a strong reaction that it made you laugh out of your mood for a few minutes. When you stopped and went down to being sad he had to ask what was wrong. Ember is the type of ghoul who lives out of sheer spite so he encourages you to do the same! Takes you to do something to let all of your steam out! Think about him giving you a baseball bat and saying, "c'mon!! We're gonna find something to break!!" ... and to your surprise its very cathartic you both kicking the shit out of an old sand bag.

Rain: He hates seeing you have a bad day. Will immediately pull you into a hug and get you some water after sitting you down. Rain is a normally a very quiet ghoul but he will shower you with love and comfort. He is also very into physical comfort, since it's what helps him through bad days. Rain will happily cuddle into you, wrap you in a blanket nest, or nuzzle into you while he plays with your hair. Often times, during bad days, you find yourself in his lap. Laying back as his claws gently rake across your scalp in the best way. You usually talk about the day and what happened as he listens and offers support. You also find he's REALLY good at helping you fix some things the next day, when you're ready to tackle something broken! Like if you broke your favorite mug, or lost paperwork.

Mountain: He always likes to ask what you need from him. This isn't to put the burden of comfort on you, but he does better when he knows exactly what you need. So if you just need some alone time, you got it. If you need to vent? He sits you both down somewhere comfy so you can talk and he can listen. Need some ice cream and to have a good cry? He will get you the spoon! Most of the time the best thing he can think to do is to get you in the nicest, feet off the floor, strong bear hug. Purring and nuzzling into you and giving you the most comforting hug he can manage. It's what he likes after some alone time to process his own bad days.

Swiss: Swiss can think of many ways to help calm you down, but he always has one big go-to method. Without a doubt, you know when you have a bad day Swiss will get your favorite food or snacks. Whether that's sneaking out with Papa's car to get you ice cream or calling in for Chinese take out, Swiss will get it for you! To him it is the ultimate way to calm you down and give you something nice to focus on. And then when you are both eating you can talk over your treat about what happened in the day. Swiss is very good at helping you verbally process your frustrations while keeping it nice and casual.

Sunshine: Have you ever seen videos of those crows who bring their favorite people nice things to make them happy? That is Sunshine. If you are sad they are on the case! Sunshine will gather anything from your favorite hoodie, snacks, blankets, movies, and any gift she finds that she knows you will love. Anything to make you smile again! You love that Sunshine goes out of their way to find anything that will work. They are also happy to just hug you and keep you warm while you relax. They will be a bit concerned if you don't bounce back eventually, so they will stick by your side. Sunshine just doesn't want you to be alone because you deserve comfort!

Cirrus: The keyboardist won't force you to talk about it if you don't want, but her main concern is making sure that you don't isolate too much. Cirrus is happy to give you space and time to be alone, mind you. She just doesn't want you to ever feel like you ARE alone on a deeper level. And sometimes bad days just make you feel like the universe is against you! Cirrus will periodically check on you until you're ready to come out on your own. Then she is happy if you two can just have a rant fest! Everything bad that happened to you that day? She will sit and agree with you and talk shit! It's very cathartic! Your supervisor scolded you for something you didn't do? Fuck that supervisor! Vending machine ate your last dollar? It's lucky she wasn't there to break it! Failed a test? Who cares, tests are stupid! It eventually always make you laugh and feel better!

Cumulus: Having a horrible day? If you like it, she's going to treat you to some amazing home spa pampering! Anything to help relax you and give you a wind down from all of the stress you had in the day. Cumulus is very good at massages so you'll definitely be getting one of those! Depending on what you like, she'll give you everything from a full body to just digging her thumbs in your shoulders in the best way to make you melt. Cumulus has also mastered face masks and home made scrubs. She's a very luxurious ghoul, so you know she has a jacuzzi tub in her bathroom. You'll both be in it with your favorite candy, drinks, and bubble bath. Anything to make you comfortable enough to get all the tension out of you while you vent about your day.

Aether: The guitarist knew something was wrong when you came home looking ready to either cry or burst out of sheer frustration. Maybe you were about to do both! His first act is to sit you down and let you vent out all of your frustrations. Tell him exactly what happened, he's all ears. He always believes taking it easy and being nice to yourself is the best way to calm down from a horrible day. Once you get everything off your chest he takes you to relax with him. Cuddles, lots of blankets, something quiet like a good movie. Aether likes to hold you and purr, letting the vibrations help.

[marierg]

Biscuits and Beskar

Pairing: Boba Fett x OC Kaylee Manu

Rated: Teenish (language that's about it)

A/N: Alrighty Folks this is a little intro chapter... an amuse-bouche if you will! So I'm not great at writing the not reader insert stuff so Kaylee is my OC for this but she's written as a reader insert. There's still a little bit of a gap between Kay and Boba, she's written as early 30's. If anyone has any advice or tips please drop me a line! Lemme know if there's any improvements I can do for the next parts.

PS- I should warn you all now that I write slower than molasses going down a pole in January so it could be a bit between chapters, BUT the next one is gonna be posted next week as well. Much love for our Daimyo!

Words:1450 ish

Masterlist Next

Tags are open, just drop a line

“Whatever it is the answer is no! Not a chance of ice on the dunes.” Crossing your arms you groused as the group of young people parked their speeders. They were too jovial and your nagging sense of trouble was going into overdrive.

Skad sauntered up to the side of the cart. “Kaylee, mama Kay, my favorite chef... Can't I just order some lunch without you being suspicious?”

“Not when that slemo monger Peel came over here giving me an ear full this morning!” You were beyond ticked off at the kids this time. What hurt you was that they were going to get themselves killed one of these days doing stupid shit like this. “I know he charges a fortune for the water. I know he's an ass. But he could go to the new Daimyo and have you all shot! How do you think that makes me feel?”

“Funny thing that, the new Daimyo hired us on.” Skad put on his most charming smile.

“What, when?!”

“Last night when he came to shoot us.” Skad flinched when the soup spoon made impact on his shoulder. “Hey! Jeeze we came to offer you a job and this is the thanks...”

“What job?” Taking a deep breath you started to put some fresh rolls into a bag. Drash shoved Skad to the side, politely asking for some soup and you couldn't say no to the girl. Tossing back your braid you looked Skad in the mechanical sensor that served for an eye. “As you well know I have two jobs already. Three if you count chasing you kids.”

“Please Kaylee it would be a huge favor.” Drash was beseeching you, big bantha eyes and all.

Narrowing your eyes you proceeded with caution, “What's the job?”

“Well the big bad Daimyo's cupbords are bare and he needs someone to fix that,” Nitro was leaning against his bike looking like some type of runaway senators kid. He always wore that long suit coat like he was going to an important meeting and spoke with the same aloof air, not at all the son of moisture farmers.

“Oh and your poor grumbling bellies had nothing to do with it?”

At your very loud snort Nitro whined, dropping the act, “Awe come on Kaylee we haven't had anything worth eating since you closed last night.”

“A job at the Palace, why should I do that eh?” You busily poured to-go containers with your soup of the day. True you had a soft spot for the kids, but working for a crime boss was a whole other matter. Your life may be miserable, but you still enjoyed being on this side of the surface. “Besides you just started working for the man what, last night? Do you even know what kind of person you're working for?”

Drash rolled her eyes at you, mech arm on hip, “Kay how long can you keep rolling this old cart around the city? It's nice up there, you'd have a whole kitchen of your own. No more sandstorms, no water merchants, no bar fights, a larder as big as the karking mayors office!”

“Yeah and no roundups either,” A shiver went down Nikita's spine at the thought, nervously twirling her hair before tucking it behind the glowing sensors on the side of her head.

“Hey now that ain't gonna happen sweetie, don't even worry bout that. And besides this old cart's gotten me through till now.” You patted the counter top affectionately, salvaged from the ashes much like yourself. “If they wanted a cook they would have put out a listing. Better yet why didn't the mighty man come down here and ask me?”

“Cause he's busy running the city, big job ya know.” Skad piped in, taking the proffered bag of food and settling up the tab. “Come on mama Kay at least come up and check it out. It'll make Drash feel better, all warm an fuzzy like.”

“Kriff off!” Drash gave Skad a harsh look even as you chuckled. Drash owed mama Kay, they all did, and she didn't like unpaid debts. Sighing she tried to think of what could possibly convince you, “I mean we all know it is cheaper to feed us using that droid. Probably just as good as you if it had the right recipes... what's cooking for the Daimyo of Tatooine. You wouldn't want the headache of all those banquets and meetings...”

“Now hold on a minute little miss.” You glared at the young woman, knowing full well that she was pushing a particular button for you. “No damn droid was ever made that could replace a living chef! What in hell do droids know about cooking anyway! Bolts and sensors don't feel, don't smell. Droid can't put love into their work...”

Drash watched as you grumbled and whinged, knowing that she had won. “So you'll come and cook for the Palace?”

Groaning heavily you rolled your eyes at the girl. “IF the Daimyo wants a cook then he can ask me when YOU lot bring me up there tonight after close. Now get back to work, suns burning the day away.”

Drash and the others got on their speeders. That had gone better than expected and if Shand did her part then by tonight a large weight would finally be off Drash's chest.

“You need to eat something,” Fennec drolly commented from her perch near the throne. True none of the food was quite palatable, but necessity made the best sauce. Taking a fresh pally she tossed it to Boba who caught the fruit without even looking up. The boss had been stewing since the encounter with the twins, it wasn't good to be solely focused when there were many who wanted this endeavor to fail. Still first things first, “The Mods brought some soup up from the market.”

“They should be more careful,” Boba looked at the fruit placing it on the plate next to his helmet. Sour stomachs rarely made for sound judgment and his list of enemies grew by the day. The twins being in town added to his list of troubles along with the much needed upkeep and maintenance of the Palace and growing staff. True the younglings were fairly capable, at least in a street scrap, but against professionals? Mok Shaiz, gutless worm he was, had been right. Running a family was not bounty hunting, there was more than just his hide on the line this time. Looking at the steam coming from the mug he snorted, “Soup on Tattoine?”

“Try, it's safe enough.”

He looked at Fennec and the cup in her hand, reluctantly taking it. Well it couldn't be any worse than the slop that kitchen droid tried to serve him. Boba took a cautious sip, pleasantly surprised. The soup was a basic bone broth but the aromatics and vegetable base certainly gave it a hearty flavor. It wasn't overpowering just simple and filling. His churning gut settled with every sip, finally nourished.

“See not bad.” Fennec would give the kids credit, they knew good food. Even from her own cursory review this little cook seemed safe enough. When Skad had proposed the idea she had been resistant, but given the growing list of the Palaces' needs it wasn't unreasonable to hire a housekeeper to manage things. Sometimes to be a good leader one needed to delegate, “We could use a cook around here for banquets and tribute days.”

Boba looked to his second in command, corner of his lip turning up, “Why, so I can become a lazy slug like Fortuna?”

“Actually quite the opposite,” Fennec walked to the side board and poured herself a drink, “With a proper chef in residence you would be healthier and better able to manage the more... social aspects of this position.”

“No proper chef will settle on Tatooine.”

Quirking a brow at the boss Fennec smirked, “How much would you bet?”

Boba knew that look all too well, the self assured smirk of certain victory. Some days he wondered who was really in charge, “And you think this soup vendor could do the job?”

“Worth a shot. I'll have someone bring them for an interview.”

“Fine.” He hated that Fennec was right. More annoying was that she had managed to so easily solve these types of minor problems when he should be able to manage. As she began her daily report Boba could already hear her cat like grin widening. At least with the Mods patrolling he had more eyes and ears around the city. Yes his enemies grew by the day, but maybe so to would his small tribe of allies. Drinking down the last of the marvelous broth Boba rolled the mug in his hands contemplatively. He would see what this soup vendor brought to the table, fortune or famine.

Tags: @rain-on-kamino @daimyosprincess @pickleprickle @acatalystrising @kimiheartblade

[winters-mistress]

uncle makes mistakes

"Here you go, squirt." Lambert says, passing the cone behind his shoulder. Before he completes the rotation, the youngest adopted son of Vesemir eyes the green and chocolate speckled wafer cone, and his impulse gets the better of him as Eskel drives off from the drive through window.

He opens his mouth and takes a lovely bite of the sweet, minty, chocolatey goodness. The ice cream melts on his tounge, and his lips slide across the dessert, before he pulls it away and leans it back over his shoulder.

"Ew. What the hell?" His niece's voice is full of disgust. "You told me you were gonna get me an ice cream for passing my test, then eat it in front of me?" Her voice is low, and he can hear the rustle of denim and chiffon as she sits back in her seat, obviously having no intention of taking the treat from his hand.

"Uncle tax." Lambert shrugs. "I paid for it, I get a bit. But you can have the rest, it's yours." He extends the cone a little more, but thr kid doesn't move.

"I'm not gonna eat a half eaten ice cream cone that's got your spit all over it, uncle." Ciri doesn't move to take the cone. "Eat it, it's yours."

Lambert finally lowers the cone back to his lap, and he and Eskel give each other a look, silent and knowing.

"Would you like us to go back around and get you another?" Eskel asks, glancing in the mirror to look at his nice, who stares out of the window, her head leaning back against the headrest, big green eyes large and unseeing as she stares out at the streets.

"No, thank you." her voice is soft, her fingers twiddling together as she continues to stare out the window. "I'd like to go home."

"Come on, girl." Lambert turns around in his seat to look at her. "You were so chuffed to pass that test, so glad and happy. All this because I took a bit of ice cream?"

"It's not the ice cream, uncle. The spit, the germs. It grosses me out, makes me feel sick. And you can't just take a bit of something you bought something for someone without asking, or without a spoon. I don't want it, I don't want any ice cream or anything else. I just want to go home now." Ciri explains, her voice is soft, her hands laying on her lap as she looks at her red haired uncle.

Lambert sighs as he looks at her again. "Sorry, kid. Do you want to grab a cake or something from a bakery, something you can eat tomorrow?"

"No, thank you. I just want to go home now."

Lambert sighs again and he looks forward once more. Eskel glances at him, the way he clenches his hand around the cone, as it shatters and spills cold ice cream all over his hand. He curses and throws the mess out of the window, before they finally pull onto the motorway that leads them to their mountain home.

"You alright, kid?" Eskel asks after they've arrived at Kaer Morhen, drive full of Geralt, Vesemir, Jaskier, Coen and all their foster brothers' cars.

"Yeah." Ciri's voice is small as she gathers her bags and folders from the back, pulling the backpack over one shoulder, holding everything else on her hip.

"Tell you what," Eskel whispers. "After Lamb goes to bed tonight, what do you say we get a little revenge on his nasty ass? Put a bucket of water on top of his door, ice water next to his slippers, put dye in his shampoo?"

Ciri chuckles at Eskel's smirk. "Why not?"

[paytato435]

Fuck it. Have a funny cut scene from Snapper and Stinkpot, read after Chapter 4.

For context, Synth is my oc who makes weapons for the Battle Nexus.

I rewrote how Casey ended up in trouble and that unfortunately meant cutting this wonderfully silly scene between him and Leo:

"Please Master Synth, there has to be something we could do to help you in some capacity. A trade, a favor, something!" Casey pleaded.

"I ain't got nothin' I need more than job security," he said definitively. “So long as I have my contract, I'm set for life. Now get outta here!" He turned on his cloven foot and clopped out.

That probably couldn't have gone any worse.

-

"Great idea, Jones," Leo grumbled as they shuffled their way back into the lair.

"Hey, I tried, didn't I? Not that your reputation helped any."

"Hey! I'll have you know my last two trips to visit Big Mama went flawlessly."

"Well it clearly didn't leave a very positive impression," Casey grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"This is ridiculous, surely there's another guy around who can get me a pair of decent swords at a price I can afford."

"You're BROKE!"

"BROKE-ASS NINJA!" Casey hears Mikey shout from somewhere nearby.

"Love you too, bro!" Leo calls back, slumping.

Casey threw himself onto the couch, tired and exhausted. He pulled his phone out and checked the date. He cringed when he remembered school was starting in just two days. It was already bad enough that Leo had dragged him out of the house today. He still wasn’t sure he could handle being out in public all day. He prayed he wouldn’t be a nervous wreck.

“Hey… what about Draxum?”

“The warrior scientist?” Casey asks curiously, scrolling his phone. He hasn’t met the guy, but he’s heard… things… about him.

“Yeah! We got weapons from him before.”

“You stole them.”

“Yeah, but that was when we were bitter enemies!” Leo clenches his fist dramatically. “I wonder if he’s still got any just lying around.”

As Casey found out the next day, Draxum did not in fact, have a sword for Leo.

-

"What do you mean you don't have a room with mystic weapons to solve all of our problems anymore?"

"I'm the Lunch Lord now, fool. I have better things to do than outsource a large number of weapons for an army I no longer need. Besides, Big Mama bought the rest of them off me."

"Why does Big Mama have everything?!" Leo groaned.

"She is the majority shareholder in yokai suffering." That was true enough.

-

"Casey please, you have to help me convince Master Synth to make me new swords. I'll do anything!" Casey was too busy eating his Frosted Flakes to answer.

"Anything, pleeeeeaseeeee?"

"'m not gonna lie, yer suvfering am-muses me a bit," Casey garbled between bites.

"You're a terrible person, Casey Jones. Who raised you to be so cruel?" Casey raised his eyebrows, amused. "Wait, don't answer that."

"You 'aveta pologize tuh Synf an win 'im ofer."

"I'm sorry, could you say that again?"

Casey swallowed. 

"You gotta put aside your pride and apologize to Master Synth. Then you gotta convince him to breach his contract with Big Mama."

"And how would I do that?" 

Casey shrugged. "He probably makes bank selling weapons to the Battle Nexus. I don't think you could get a better deal than whatever he's got going on."

"Maybe we can trick him into making me the swords?" Leo grabbed a spoon and started eating from Casey's cereal. Casey added more cereal to the bowl.

"I don't think you understand how Synth works, so I guess I'm gonna have to explain it to you:

Synth is an extremely proud and egotistical individual. (not unlike yourself. "Hey!") Basically every person who's asked him for help gets shut down immediately. ("that doesn't sound like a very practical business model") Until you convince him you deserve it, that is. Synth has a sixth sense for the truth. He can tell by the tone in your voice that you're lying. In other words, you're not gonna be able to win him over with your… usual tricks. Honestly, I only see one option here."

"And what's that?"

"Synth is contractually obligated to only make swords for Big Mama, so all you have to do is make the swords yourself."

"Oh, thas goof. Wade. How do I mage thuh sword?"

"You apologize and ask him to teach you."

Leo spat out Casey's cereal.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No I am not." Casey picked a wet flake from his face.

"Come up with a better plan."

Casey narrowed his eyes.

"You dug yourself this hole. Now you need to get yourself out."

Leo gestured angrily to Casey with his spoon and turned to Raph, who had definitely been sitting next to Leo this whole time.

"Can you believe this guy?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me,"Raph shrugged. "Maybe Casey should be our plan guy."

“Or or ooooorrr….” Leo smiled. “We give Big Mama a new Battle Nexus Champion, and they get the swords for me!”

“And who would do all that for you?” Casey asked with a frown.

Leo batted his eyelashes and sticks out his lower lip.

“No, no way.”

“It can be a shared generational trauma! Come on kid. Like father, like son, like adopted human future grandbaby.”

“That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“I agree,” Raph nodded. “And I’ve heard a lot of Leo’s bad ideas.”

“Aw come on, it’s not that bad. You get eternal glory and bragging rights to your friends and family!”

“If you live,” Raph pointed out.

“When you win,” Leo smirked.

"Let's do both," Casey proposed suddenly, putting his palms on the table and standing up.

"Both?"

"Why not? I enter the Nexus and you apologize to Master Synth."

"That sounds like the worst of both ideas, actually," Raph noted, frowning.

"Mutually assured pain," Casey shrugged.

"Two stones for one bird," Leo chuckled.

"Let's make a bet then. The first person to get the swords gets Raph's bed for a week."

"Hey!"

"This just keeps getting worse for everyone and I love it," Leo smiled. "You got yourself a deal."

They shook on it.

----

Maybe they can make a bed over Raph's bed in the future. That shit's gotta be the most comfy thing ever with all his stuffed animals.