#bi/pans rise up

[iliketangerines]

consider the lin kuei brothers growing obsessive over someone and basically imprisoning her?

bi-han is obsessed with breeding the next lin kuei heir, of course. kuai liang thinks the outside world is dangerous and she's safer here. tomas just wants comfort and a big happy family of his own, and the reader can provide both of these! how lovely :)

i think temperature play and mindbreak go lovely with this - go crazy w this prompt otherwise i love reading ur writing

all ours

a/n: mmmmm, dark content my beloved. also, i do NOT condone this behavior in real life

pairing: bi han, kuai liang, tomas vrbada x afab!reader

warnings: nsfw (MDNI), noncon, dead dove do not eat, breeding kink, pet play, pregnancy kink, pussy eating, overstimulation, creampies, somniphila, degradation kink, fingerfucking

you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up, and you turn to look over your shoulder

but all you see is the empty living room, and you slowly turn back to stir the food cooking in your pan

the past few weeks, you’ve felt like someone was watching you, waiting for you, like a predator hunting their prey, and you’ve been on edge

you can’t ignore the hissing sound that sounds behind you, and you whip around, wooden spoon in hand

there’s still no one there, but you see smoke rolling out of your bedroom door

you let out a yelp and turn off the stove, hoping that the candle you lit in there hadn’t set anything on fire too badly

you sprint into your room and find nothing there, candle still half-full, and you let out a sigh of relief

but goosebumps trail over your skin, and you turn around and find a tall man standing behind you, masked with feral eyes and gray hair

you try to run, but hands grab onto you from behind and press something against your face

you’re out before you even know it

you wake up with a start, and the world is a bit hazy as you try to blink your eyes open, perhaps it was just a bad dream

you go to rub your eyes and regain your sight, but the unfamiliar sound of a chain rattling startles you awake

you look to your hand and find it cuffed to the bedpost, which you most definitely didn’t put on yourself, and your breath comes out in quick breaths as you pull and tug on the chain

you start to cry, hyperventilating as you realize your ankles are also chained to the bed with little room to move to get off the bed and that you’re completely naked

a slight pressure is on your neck, and you tug at it and realize it’s a collar, like you’re a dog

the doorway to the room you’re in opens, and you try to scramble back as far as you can onto the bed

it’s not far enough as your back hits the headboard and a man with a blue uniform and hair tied up nicely into a bun enters the room

his eyes rove over your figure, and he stalks toward you, eyes not human as he crawls toward you on the bed

you try to kick him to get him away, but he easily catches your leg and squeezes tight, ice forming at the skin and freezing your nerves

you whimper and try to jerk your leg away, ice sending pain shooting up your body, and he lets out a low growl and jerks you toward him

he pins your hands up above you, freezing them in place and you cry as the ice cold temperature burns you, and he laughs at you

he trails his cold hands down your body, admiring the way goosebumps rise wherever he touches, and you squirm as best as you can in his grip to get away

it’s futile, your legs are spread by his hips, and he presses your hips down to stop you from moving

he growls at you to stop, or he’ll do something much worse

a blade of ice forms from his hand, and he points the sharp edge underneath your chin

immediately, you stop and take in shallow breaths as you hiccup and try not to cry as he hums in delight at your compliance

he puts down the ice blade, but it’s just within reach to remind to be good for him

he rubs at your hips and your waist and mutters something under his breath about you’ll bear his heirs, strong boys to lead his clan

you want to cry, scream, fight, but you don’t want to die and so you stay still and let tears drip down your cheeks as your wrists go numb

he trails his fingers down your stomach and spreads open your pussy folds, pressing his thumb into your clit and watching your hips jerk

you try to keep the sounds in, to not give him the pleasure of knowing he was making you feel good, but as he rubs insistent little circles into you, a small whine comes out

he chuckles and tells you he knew you were just a whore, a good little breeding vessel who’ll take his cock like a little slut

you can feel yourself getting wet, and you moan as he dips two cold fingers into your dripping cunt and fucks you roughly on his fingers

he laughs and presses his thumb into your clit, and you start to sob as he brings you closer to the edge against your will

your back arches off the bed as you cum, and your pussy clenches down on his fingers as you coat his fingers in your cum

your head spins as he brings his fingers out of your pussy and shoves them into your mouth, you have half a mind to not bite down and just let his fingers rest in your mouth

he pulls out his cock, and he pushes into you hurriedly, muttering under his breath how he needs to breed you, secure the future of the Lin Kuei, fuck until it takes

you cry as he fucks into you, hips slapping against yours and filling the room with a loud squelching sound

he rubs at your clit, telling you that you’re such a good bitch, such a good whore, gonna fill you up with his seed, have you round and pregnant as much as he can as you take care of his children

you cry as your mind goes blank, and you whine as you go over the edge, he

he grunts as he buries himself deep inside of you and cums inside of you

he stays inside of you, trailing his icy fingers over your body as you try not to think about how you’re stuck here, but your body jerks and twitches underneath his fingertips and keeps you in the present

he starts thrusting his hips in and out of you again, and you whine, saying you can’t please, you can’t you’re too sensitive

he growls at you to take it, and one of his hands go to tug at your collar as he starts fucking into you again

he makes you cum on his cock over and over again, filling you with his seed until you’re just a drooling teary mess and your stomach slightly bulges

he rubs your stomach, mumbling under his breath, but you’re too far gone to hear what he’s said and you pass out as he starts to fuck you again

you wake up, and you’re mostly cleaned up, ice gone

you’re sore and tired, and you quickly fall asleep again and hope someone will come and save you

but no one comes, and you learn that the blue assassin is named Bi Han, grandmaster of the Lin Kuei

you wake up, not completely sure of how many days have passed, but Bi Han has let you out of the chains and explore around the compound as long as you’re on the leash behind him

he brings you to a meeting, body clad in nothing, and you sit by Bi Han’s lap as he waits for the others show

a yellow assassin walks and sees you in Bi Han’s lap, and he immediately complains that you can’t be out, that it’s too dangerous for you

Bi Han growls that you are protected with him around and to keep him mouth shut

a gray assassin puts his hand on the yellow assassin’s shoulder and says Kuai Liang, you should calm down

Kuai Liang, it seems his name is, has furrowed eyebrows, but he listens and sits down to listen to the meeting

you sit silently by Bi Han’s legs, picking at the floorboards as you wait for him to finish up, and he brings you back to your room and locks the door, leaving you alone and chained to the bed

it’s only a few moments later when you hear the door latch open, and you look up and find Kuai Liang and not Bi Han

he closes the door behind him and locks it and crawls onto the bed

you flinch as he touches you

he’s much warmer than Bi Han, much much warmer, so much that it burns, and you whimper at the temperature difference

he laughs and coos at you, saying you’re just too cute, too innocent, that you need to be protected, too pretty for this filthy world

he mouths at your skin as he mumbles the words, and you let him, too scared to try and fight back like you had when Bi Han had first brought you here

he pulls your legs apart and admires your pussy, already wet for him, and he crawls down to place his cheek on your thigh

he places his tongue against your clit, and you whimper as the heat scorches through you

he hums at your small sounds and laps into your pussy desperately, trying to draw out more sounds from you, and he brings his hand up to fuck you on his fingers

you whine at the feeling, fingers thick and hot, as he fucks you slowly, stretching you out for his cock

he looks up at you, and he hums into your clit at the sight of your head thrown back in pleasure

he doubles his efforts, sucking on your clit and humming around it, and the vibrations travel up your mind and make your mind go blank as you whine and cum on his tongue

he moans into your pussy as he moves down so his nose grinds into your sensitive clit and he licks at your pussy to collect your release on his tongue

he mumbles out that you’re so sweet, so good for him, too good for this world, and he dives back into your cunt to make you cum on his tongue, he needs to taste you again

you cry as he keeps on lapping at your oversensitive clit, but he ignores your protests and keeps tasting you and fucking you on his tongue

you can’t think as he makes you cum on his tongue over and over again, groaning into you messy cunt as he grinds his hips into the bed and comes inside of his pants

but he can’t stop even as you start to push against him against all of your training

he doesn’t care, just can’t stop, and you end up passing out as makes you cum one more time on his fingers

Kuai Liang visits you more often after that

and then, the last one comes out of nowhere

you’re sleeping on the bed, cuddling into the pillows as you try to remember the days before, your past life before all this, but the memories are slipping and you can’t remember

can’t remember your home, can’t remember your friends, can’t remember your family, and all the days are starting to blur

and you can see your stomach growing, and by the way Bi Han had reacted at the sight of your plumping thighs and breasts and hips, you know you’re pregnant

but right now, you’re away from the both of them, letting your body rest

until you feel a hand brush over your stomach and something press into your back, hot and throbbing

an unfamiliar voice croons at you, telling you look so pretty carrying children, so so pretty and beautiful, that you’ll make a great parent, so loving and gorgeous as you’re filled with more heirs

he raises your legs up, cuddling into your neck and pressing kisses into your skin as he slides his cock between your folds to collect your growing wetness

he slides into you, and you whine at the stretch, but he kisses your neck and apologizes quietly as he fucks into you

you can’t do anything except take it as he fucks you and shower you in compliments, and his cock stretches you side and full, tip brushing against that sweet spot inside you

you throw your head back and whine as your oversensitive cunt clamps down on his cock and cums all over him all too quickly

he coos at you and tells you that you’re so good for him as he continues to thrust his cock deep inside of you

you clutch onto the sheets as he makes you cum on his cock a few more times before he grunts and spills his seed into you, staying seated inside of you as he brings your leg down and wraps his arms around your ample chest

you sob and whimper quietly as he tells you you’re so pretty for him, for them all, that you’ll give him and the others a big happy family

months pass, they continue coming to your room, bringing you out only if you’re hooked on your leash, and you’re starting to lose your mind

everything becomes harder as your belly rounds and grows plump with Bi Han’s child, and the men grow more handsy, more dangerous and aggressive towards their own soldiers

you cower in fear as they kill one of their men in cold blood for looking at you for too long, and they bring you back to your room and Bi Han stays with you, marking you in his kisses and hickeys

you’re never returning home, and you finally accept it, tears rolling down as your mind goes blank and forgets your past

[gucciforasushirestaurant]

Kinkmas 🎄 № 2: Voyeurism

summary: harry takes you to amsterdam. 

word count: 4.2k

reading time: 18 min.

content warnings: 18+, sex toys, public sex, sex work(ers), teasing, oral (f reciving), manhandling (if you squint), d/s undertones (harry is just a little bossy is all), pet names (baby, lovie, good girl, pretty girl) implied bi/pan!reader, fxf scene, f solo scene, fxm scenes are also described as well. very obvious ignorance to sex work/sex clubs. 

a/n: now i wanna go to Amsterdam. brb booking my flight! 

________________

Harry prided himself on his ability to plan a trip for the two of you. From beginning to end, you never had a care in the world on these trips other than what dress you would wear to dinner. Even then, Harry often made his preference very clear by digging into your bag while you showered and laying out his pick for the night (accessories included, of course). You didn't mind being his little doll; you liked it when he picked out something for you. It made you feel special; you'd yet to figure out why, but you didn't question it too much. Not when every part of your trip was planned, from the moment you woke up to breakfast in bed to some activity fit for each day to dinner reservations each night. Harry had it all covered. 

You found yourselves on this trip in Amsterdam. 'Just because,' he said. And that was a good enough reason for you to get another stamp on your passport. You've done all the tourist spots thus far. All but one. Until tonight. 

Tonight, you were headed to a show. A show in the redlight district. 

So, what you cheated this time. You saw the confirmation email on Harry's phone from the theater earlier, did a quick Google search, and now your stomach is in knots. In a good way, nervous anticipation more than anything. But still, you had to remain calm. Tonight was a surprise, so you needed to be surprised. 

Harry was sure you were going to be. Regardless of how horrible your acting had been, trying to pretend like you didn't know where you were headed, he knew you too well. He knew you saw the confirmation and damn near planned it for you to see. Harry knew your curiosity would eat at you, and you'd inevitably do your own research. But he also knew that you'd only go searching so far. He hopes he's staying within your boundaries with this one. That this all wasn't too much. But by the way, you're fumbling at the vanity, trying to do the finishing touches to your make-up and hair, telling him you are more than ready for tonight. 

You fumble through your make-up bag in search of a specific brush when Harry comes up behind you, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

"Almost done, baby. I know we are on a timer." you rush out, eyes meeting him in the mirror briefly, not noticing that only one hand is on your waist. The other is behind his back, holding something. 

"Don't rush; we're more than okay on time." he smiles, pressing a hiss to the side of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine that wakes you up. "Can I ask you to hold onto something for me?" 

You don't look up from what you're doing in front of the mirror; you don't even see what he's holding up. "You have a million pockets, bab-" your eyes widen when they meet his in the mirror after locking eyes with what's in his hand. "You brought that on the plane!" you whisper, through a smile, turning towards him, heat rising to your cheeks at the thought. In his hand was what was slowly becoming your favorite toy that you and Harry had added to your 'playtime.' It was your remote control butterfly-esque toy. It was meant to fill you up just enough while the buzzing base hit right up against your clit just right. You've discussed wearing it in public before but never thought he would commit to the idea. You can't believe he'd brought it. Happy, excited, even, but nervous. 

"I did. Specifically for tonight. Thought it would be appropriate for where we're going?" 

"Where could we possibly be going where that's appropriate?" you smirk, playfully batting at his chest. 

"You'll see," he smirked, taking a moment to read your face. "Look, I know we've only ever used this guy in the bedroom, but I thought it would be fun tonight. If you are uncomfortable, we can scratch -" 

"No!" you rush out, reaching for it in his hand. "I just mean - what were you thinking?"

"Well, I don't want to give away the whole surprise, but it starts with this," He emphasizes by bringing your attention to the toy, "Going inside of my pretty girl." he smirks, looking between your legs, "after I have a taste of course," he adds. 

"Oh, well, of course," you giggle, rolling your eyes playfully. 

"Right. So once I've had my fill of my peach, then this will go nice and snug inside your pussy," Harry says with a smile before he brings his hand up from your hip to your jaw, bringing your eyes to his, his eyes blown out in lust. "And you're going to hold it in there for me. All night until we get back here. Hopefully, if you are up for it, I'll be spending the rest of our last night between your legs. Letting you see Amsterdam from your favorite angle, baby." He rasps, dipping his down and crashing his lips to yours. 

On your back. 

You giggle into the kiss. It was a silly thing you'd said when you were in Paris. You had the perfect view of the Eiffel Tower. You are unsure how he did it; regardless, it was an ideal view. And yet you spent most of the trip, seeing it upside down, while on your back, head dangling off the side of the bed as Harry had worked, orgasm after orgasm from you. You'd then joked that you'd want to see every city with him on your back. Seeing the Eiffel Tower upside down was your favorite way to see it. So it's kind of become a tradition of sorts to have mind-blowing sex in each city you visit together, at least once.  

Harry has taken it to be a challenge to get you that high off him, to say something just as goofy in every city, and if that meant you were on your back, well….it was tradition. He leans in, deepening the kiss, "How's that sound?" He pulls away and chuckles at your eyes, still fluttering open. 

"Good. yeah." 

"Yeah? This is okay?" he asks, seriously, his tone sweet as pie. 

"Yeah. It…could be fun. Just try not to embarrass me too with it too bad," you joke with a sigh, and Harry shakes his head insistently. 

"Never. I'd never embarrass you with this. This is for us, for you. S' not to make a spectacle of you. I'd never." 

"I know," You giggle into a kiss, trying to shake some of your nerves. 

"I just want you to know. Now," He smirks devilishly down at you, lust clouding over his eyes, "Can I?" 

You cross your arms across your chest, "I don't know, can you?" you mock, finally getting to pull his favorite word 'gotcha' on him. And he groans, gripping your jaw again, playfully growling at you. 

"You brat." he sighs at you. He leans down, kissing you deep, before pulling away just enough. "May I?" he asks, eyes never leaving yours. "Please." 

"You may." you breathe out.

You barely have time to register his movements. He's on his knees before you, hiking your dress up your thighs in seconds. He looks up at you with a devilish grin as he shimmies your panties down your thighs. You kick them to the side, and Harry grabs hold of one of your thighs, hooking it over his shoulder, "Lean back, baby. Hold onto the sink." He smirks before planting sloppy kisses up each of your thighs. Slow and intimate.  

Harry wasn't a fan of quickies. Sure, you'd had a few here and there, but they were never Harry's style. He never rushed, not with you. And especially not when he was given the privilege of going down on you. No, he was going to savor every moment he got to spend between your thighs. Knowing that he was the only one to see you from this angle. 

When his lips finally did land where you'd been wanting them, it was just a light peck to your folds. Followed by a long bold lick from your entrance to your clit. 

"Harry, we don't have time." You whine, wanting him to devour you like you both know he wanted to. 

"Shhh, don't you worry about that," he coos, placing another kiss on your thigh, "just relax." He returned his lips to your folds and did what Harry does best. Take you to heaven. He went slow at first, alternating between licking up and down your folds and sucking on your clit. His hands roamed and groped, pulling you down further onto his tongue. He licked and sucked, twirled his tongue. God, was he amazing with his mouth. And never was he stingy in blessing you with his oral talents. He was so lost in you, drunk on the taste of you on his tongue, Harry nearly forgot about his original plan. It wasn't until he felt your fingers twist into his hair, tugging ever so slightly with a whine, that he was brought back down to earth. 

"Can I ask you for one more thing, baby?" He asks against your pussy. You look down at him, eyes blown out in lust, nodding vigorously. You were so close. 

"Mmhmm, anything." You keen, tugging at his hair some more. 

"I need you to come for me. Can you do that?" He asks, looking up at you, slowly inserting his middle finger inside. 

Your mouth falls open, eyes still locked on Harry on his knees for you. "Mmmhmm." You nod. 

"Good girl," He coos, and your stomach flips at the praise, "You come for me, and then I'll give you the toy, and you keep it for the rest of the night, okay?" Again, all you had the brain power to do was nod at him, tugging his hair, pulling him closer. 

You could feel the spring in the pit of your stomach; you were right there. "Harry-"you keen, 

"That's it, baby, come on." He encourages, curling his fingers up, dragging them in and out of you at a pace that has you spinning. "Come on my fingers, baby." 

It's all you need. Harry's permission before you come undone on one of his hands while the other arms hold you up. He works you through your first orgasm of the night, pulling it from you with every drag of his fingers. You barely have time to fully come down before you feel him removing his fingers and inserting the toy. It's slightly thicker than Harry's fingers, so the fit is somewhat snug, but the feeling is phenomenal. 

Harry straightens up once the toy is in place and you've caught your breath. He shimmies your panties back up your legs and straightens your dress out for you. You wrap your areas around his shoulders, bringing him close to you, and he places a sweet peck on your forehead and nose before kissing your lips, just enough for you to taste yourself. "You okay?" He smiles. 

"Yeah. Thank you." You breathe out, your head still a little fuzzy from your orgasm, your legs still a little weak. 

"You don't have to thank me every time I make you come, baby." He chuckles. 

"I know. But still." You shrug, leaning your forehead against his for just a moment. You two stood momentarily while you came down, holding each other against the sink. 

"Can you finish getting ready for me?" He asks, bringing you back to the present. 

"Yeah - just a few minutes." you smile. He looked down at you with a proud grin on his face.

"I'll be out there," he looks down at his watch and chuckles. "Okay, maybe now we are on a bit of a time crunch, but still - baby, don't rush." He places a quick kiss on your temple. "I will be by the door when you're ready." 

'I'll be by the door' was Harry Speak for 'I love you, but you have ten minutes.' You shake your head and opt for a quick brown contour on your eyes to give you some life rather than your planned smoky eye. You topped off the look with some mascara and gloss. It's a nice no-make-up look. 

Perfect for a sex show - Buzzzz. You jolted forward. 'He's a mind reader, isn't he?' You think. How else could he have perfectly cued the vibrating egg to go off at the mere thought of tonight's plans?  

"Lovie - come on," Harry calls from the front of the hotel with a smirk ever so present in his voice. 

Bastard. You curse him in your head, trying to keep your moans at bay. Just when you think you feel like you feel the beginnings of that tingly feeling that starts at the base of your spine once more, it stops. And Harry comes around the corner, no indication on his face that he's the reason you've been hunched over in here rather than out there with him. "You ready?" 

Shit. You hated this game. You were terrible at it. But it was Harry's favorite. 

The game? Harry worked you up, with you doing the same, while you both played coy and ignored the other's attempts until someone broke. That someone was nearly always you. 

"Yes." You squeak out, straightening your dress out. "Fuck." you say out loud. How would you keep this thing in you with a dress if he plans on doing that all night? 

"Everything okay?" he asks condescendingly. 

"Fine." you breathe out. You were not going to let Harry win at this that easy. "I'm fine, let's go. I'm ready." He smiles at you, proud of your attempt to keep the game going. Tonight was going to be so fun for you both. 

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Harry kept you huddled into his side as you moved through the brisk December streets of Amsterdam. Your coat was more style than function, and Harry, ever the gentleman, sacrificed his own for you to stay warm. 

"We're just about - Oh. Here it is." he slows down, pulling you behind him to a door along a strip of stores that looked abandoned. He feels the weight of you stopped behind him. "I promise this is the place." Still, you don't budge, "I have it on good authority that this is the place," he smirks. 

"Who's authority, Harry?" You whisper for some reason, but this feels like the part of town where you whisper. Without answering, he turns his back to you, looking down at his phone again before knocking on the door several times and pocketing it. And it opens. Harry gives a vague riddle, and the next thing you know, you are being pulled behind a doorway in the Red Light District of Amsterdam. 

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It's a theater. A rather large one, with three stages, or one big stage with two diving walls. Each location was wide enough to have stairs leading from the vast audience to each stage. In the back was a bar, lit dimly with a few scattered patrons. But in the center of the room, the audience seating was…different. 

For one, the place was packed with patrons. For seating, there were booths and small tables, but closer to the stage were cabana-type seating, with some sort of private walls made of flowy dark satin curtains. The whole space was draped in dark purple, black, and gold. The lights were low, completely dim, if not for the stage light and the small lamps scattered about on some tables. The music was quiet yet thumping. You could feel the bass in your chest, and the vibrations did nothing to help the ache between your thighs. 

But, the stages. 

That's where the center of all attention in the large room was and where your eyes were glued the entire time Harry pulled you through the theater to your reserved booth. 

"Sit, baby." Harry smiles, tugging your hand for you to follow him into the rounded booth. You look down at him, then behind you, realizing you are blocking people's view. "You like it?" Harry asks, draping an arm around your shoulder as you shrug off his jacket, draping it across your lap. Covering what your dress doesn't. 

My clever girl, Harry thinks. 

"Is this -" 

"This is the show," he whispers down into your ear. "See, each one is a different stage of arousal. See?" he explains, looking out onto the stages. You get a perfect view of all three stages from where you two are seated. You notice a few smaller platforms scattered throughout the room and at either side of the stage, to the right and left. On each platform stood a woman, fully exposed, moving to the music and flowing with the lights that danced across her skin. It was art. 

On the stage closest to you and Harry was a couple, a man and a woman. He was much larger than her, similar to you and Harry's size difference. He towered over her as he caressed her cheek. Their movements were slow and sensual but deliberate as they stood center stage, with nothing but a chair on stage beside them. You were so focused on them and the music and the lights you didn't notice Harry reaching into his pocket, retrieving the remote for the toy. Only when it was too late did you realize. As you feel the toy's vibrations, you reach over, gripping Harry's knee underneath the tiny cocktail table. A small squeak escaped your lips. 

"Shhh…baby, be good. Be quiet for me, okay?" 

"Yeah." you quip out, digging your nails into his thigh, causing him to hiss. 

"Use me how you need, baby," he whispers tightly into your ear, and you have to bite your lower lip to keep from moaning out in this theater. Not that anyone would hear the music and the noises coming from the women on the stage; there must have been microphones on stage with how clear their moans rang through the room.  

Another woman was on the stage to the far right of where you were. She was alone, besides the assortment of toys next to her, but by the looks and sounds of it, she didn't need any of it. No, she was doing just fine the old-fashioned way.  

Then you take in the stage to the left of you. You have to turn your head a little to get a full view of it all, and once you do, the grip on Harry's knee tightens. It was two women in the throws of passion, in a position you've only ever dreamed of. They lay on each of their sides, facing opposite directions, faces buried in each other's thighs. 

"I picked this show for them. Especially. I know you'd love them." He turns the vibrator up, but only a nudge, still a low hum, and nothing to write home about. But with the images and sounds surrounding you, it was enough to drive you mad. His lips linger at your year a second too long, his breath sending those pleasant tingles all over your body. "And Him," he says, drawing your attention back to the stage closest to you. 

The couple is half dressed now, her breasts exposed, and he - well, you know why Harry said what he did. The man was a sight to behold. He couldn't hold a candle to Harry size-wise, but he was impressive and above average. And he didn't even appear to be fully erect. The woman was working on changing that, it seemed. You watched as she took his impressive length into her much smaller hand and pumped him slow, up and down. You looked over at Harry, who couldn't keep his eyes off you. 

"You're missing the show," you whisper as he licked his bottom lip before tugging it between his teeth. You mirrored his action. 

"No, I'm not." He smirked, "Eyes, forward." he demanded softly. He turns up the vibe once again as you watch the woman drop to her knees in front of the man, who's opted to sit in the provided chair. From the way he is sitting in the chair to the side, you have a perfect view of the woman wrapping her lips around him with a pornographic moan. You couldn't help but suck in a breath. Suddenly, you were longing for the weight of Harry to be on your tongue. To feel him fill your mouth, your throat, to hear him groan as you reached up to play with his balls. You craved it. 

 For a split second, you looked around the crowded room. You are taking in the sights and sounds. There were a couple of groups, some people kissing and some whispering to one another, but every eye was locked on that stage. All except Harry, that is. You turn your attention back on the two girls, and they're both cuddled up to each other on a makeshift bed of sheets and pillows on stage, basking in an assumed post-orgasm glow. Harry catches the pout on your lips immediately. 

"I missed it." 

"You better pay attention then," He chuckles, "with all your sense. Not just sight. Listen, smell…feel." 

Feel. 

Oh, this damn egg! The hum of the vibrator is ever-present between your thighs now. Though it's not enough vibration to relieve the ache that's developed, it is starting to get you to that place that makes you warm and fuzzy rather quickly. And you want more, need more. So you turn to face him, landing a sweet peck on his lips. Then, leaning your forehead to his for a moment and leaning into his ear, whispering, "Harry, can I get more, please." You beg, sweetly. He pulls you away from him by the chin, kissing your nose. 

"No. Watch the show." He says and smiles when you huff at him, wiggling in the booth for some much-needed relief, your attention back to center stage. He pinches your arm lightly, "Don't do that, either. You know the rules. Take what I give you." he recites. You nod in understanding and try to focus on the show center stage. 

The woman has the man's cock fully down her throat now, and she sucked him with such enthusiasm, and his head was thrown back in such ecstasy it nearly gave you cock envy. When she finally came up for air with an animated throw of her head, she stood up from her spot between his legs before sitting on his lap, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. She leans in, kissing him slowly as his hands roamed all over her body. Groping, and kneading…spanking. That's when you feel his lips on your neck. And you are going to lose your mind. Was this hot? Absolutely. But you needed Harry like you've never before, and being unable to do anything about it was killing you. 

"Harry, I don't know how much longer I can-"You were close. Embarrassingly close. 

"Okay." He hums, and the next thing you know, the vibrations between your legs stopped. You let out a deep sigh, something mixed with frustration and relief. "There, now….you can focus. Watch them." Harry instructs. 

So you do. You watch. You watch as she slowly takes his length into her hand, pumping him a few moments before sinking down onto him. You hear her moans as she gets fully seated on him, setting a pace. Harry couldn't help but watch and hear your breath hitch as hers did. Knowing what you were thinking, knowing that you were thinking about him. How he feels inside you, stretching you out, making you feel full. He knew because he couldn't help but think about the same. 

As the woman on stage picked up her pace, bouncing on the man's cock up and down, swiveling her hips, you felt it again. The buzzing of the toy between your thighs. 

"Harry," you whisper, gripping onto his thigh again. 

"Shhh, you're okay," he assures but places a quick peck on your shoulder, momentarily drawing your attention to him. "Do you want it off?" He asks, checking in. 

"No!" you rush out, and he smiles at Cheshire's grin before turning it up two more notches. Your grip on his thigh tightens as you bite your lip, turning back to the stage. 

She is close now, you can tell. Her pace is quicker more frantic, and the noises. God, the noises she was making were heavenly, mixed with his groans as you watched him lunge forward, attaching his lips to her chest. 

Harry takes his other hand that wasn't wrapped around you, tangling his fingers with yours, giving them a comforting squeeze. 

"Harry, please." 

"No, baby." He says sternly. He knew what you were asking for, and as much as he hated saying no to you, he wouldn't let you come in public. Even if you were hidden by the walls of the tall booth, even if no one was watching, he would never allow it. When it came to you, Harry was selfish, and when it came to your pleasure and who got to see you in your most intimate moments, he was downright protective. 

Just as the woman on stage reached her peach, you were about to tell Harry that you couldn't hold it. That you couldn't take anymore without coming, the vibrator stops. You lean over, resting your head on Harry's shoulder. 

"I was so close." you pout.

"I know. But I'll take care of you when we get back. I promise."

🎄🎄🎄🎄

kinkmas 2023 masterlist 

🎄🎄🎄🎄

[musicalmoritz]

I talk a lot about characters being exclusively gay or lesbian on here, so I wanted to switch things up for once and talk about some tbhk characters who are most likely bi

Starting off with the most obvious and undeniably most bi-coded character in tbhk (can we even call it coding anymore?? the subtext has become text), we have my boy Kou!! His main love interest is Mitsuba, and in addition to the other characters teasing Kou about his feelings, the two of them have gone on a date together. While it’s true Kou offhandedly said it’s “not a date” (outside of a speech bubble even), AidaIro would not have labeled it that way if they didn’t want people to interpret it as such. They’re also often drawn very romantically together and…c’mon, their story doesn’t make a lot of sense if they’re just friends (in comparison to other male friendships in tbhk like Hanako and Kou or Teru and Akane that DO make sense platonically)

Kou also had a huge crush on Nene for the majority of the manga, and may still like her (he no longer gets flustered when people suggest that he likes her so imo it’s up to interpretation whether or not his feelings have changed). His feelings for Mitsuba don’t discredit his feelings for Nene or vice versa, so it’s safe to assume this man swings both ways. He frequently blushes around Nene and, as aforementioned, used to get very flustered whenever someone teased him about his crush. I believe in the pilot of tbhk he also confessed to her

So as we’ve established, Kou checks off both bi boxes. But what about Nene herself?

Nene’s main love interest is Hanako, but other than that she’s shown to be very boy crazy. She swoons over every man she meets, and dedicates herself to her crushes even when she doesn’t really know them. The sky is blue, the sun rises in the morning, and Nene wants a boyfriend

…Or a girlfriend? If you can’t call what Nene felt towards Sakura a crush, then I don’t know what you would call it. She blushed around her, called her a babe, compared her to a doll, emphasized her beauty, and got so distracted spending time with her that she forgot to stay on guard. This is how Nene acts around all her crushes, dazed and a little stupid. I also think it says a lot that she still seemed awfully friendly with Hanako when he got turned into a girl in ASHK. At the very least I’d say Nene is bi-curious

I bet you can’t tell which Aoi this is about lol. I theoretically could call out Aoi but I feel like it would be slightly more of a reach with her so for now I’m sticking with Akane. His main love interest is Aoi- hell, his whole word is Aoi. He worships the ground she walks on, and their character development is reliant on one another. I fully believe Akane would feel the same way about Aoi if she were a man; it’s not about her gender, it’s about who she is as a person. But that’s only speculation so let’s look at the facts

In the Confession Tree chapter, Akane fell in love with and started dating Lemon. Now, this is purely up to interpretation, but I don’t think a love potion would have the power to change someone’s sexuality, at least not something like the Confession Tree. It’s perfectly fine to disagree with that statement, but my takeaway here was that Lemon and Akane would both be fine with dating men (I would’ve put Lemon on this list but I don’t think he’s shown any interest in women, I do hc him as pan tho)

And lastly, we have Natsuhiko, who would love Sakura regardless of their gender…and who apparently is fine with changing their own gender at the drop of a hat?? Does he have something he wants to tell us??

I could have included more characters, but I wanted to stay semi-realistic here. A lot of people also bring up Hanako flirting with Kou when he got turned into a girl, and I will say he acts very flirty with Kou in general, but I have a hard time deciphering whether they’re just joking the way friends do or if there’s some level of seriousness to it lol. I interpreted it as a friend thing but I’m open to hearing different opinions, I usually headcanon Hanako as bi anyway

I also mentioned Aoi but again, I can’t tell if the way she sometimes gets a little too close to Nene is just girls being girls or if it’s girls liking girls. And I don’t rly count Mei falling in love with her in HKOM as evidence because Aoi didn’t like her back, although it’s reasonable to assume they started dating since they were mentioned to hang out a lot after that. But Aoi/Aoi is still a thing in HKOM so…I don’t know. She could like both ofc (that’s kind of the whole point here) but I didn’t see enough of her liking Mei to come to a definitive conclusion. Aoi definitely gives me sapphic vibes but I didn’t feel like there was enough evidence to put her on the list so for now I’ll leave her as an honorable mention. Then there’s Teru’s weird thing with the Aois but I don’t think anyone can decipher what’s going on there

In conclusion, bi rights

[a-bright-comet]

Okay I am very happy to see more and more people call out the weirdos, namely the ones villainizing pregnancy and all that, But I wanna talk about the startling amount of people I've been seeing popping up calling Jade and Stalker's romance "cheap, boring, easy" just *because* it's woman-loving-man or "straight" as these people keep calling it.. How wild is that-? to call a romance boring because of the gender of the people involved? they're not calling it boring cause of writing but because of their damn genders? hello?? do you know how insane that would sound if said about a sapphic or achillean (mlm) couple?? imagine if someone said that about Albrecht and Loid they'd get flamed so fucking fast dude. Do these people also forget bi/pan etc. wlm relationships exist? or that straight genderqueer people and relationships exist?? that queer wlm relationships just exist as well in general??? I'm a bi woman in a relationship with a bi trans man, JUMPSCARE! we exist! while I understand being tired of wlm romances cause there's enough out there to get to hell and back, that doesn't mean they should just, not exist? or that they're inherently bad or boring? not only is that just weird period but it also erases the people and relationships mentioned above. (also goes against the whole equality thing we've all been fighting for my guy) also like, the last time we got a wlm relationship between major/important characters in warframe was god damn Ballas and Lotus and that shit was abusive, we needed a healthy one to balance it lmaaoooo. Annd to my knowledge there hasn't been any romance between two warframes before these two yet so it's not like they've done it before to warrant the groaning? you know it's odd how I almost felt this type of attitude coming, I was witnessing a concerning steady rise of hating pregnancy in fiction from one side of the internet and just general hatred of wlm relationships on the other side of the internet, such a shame it all came to a boiling point and targeted this quest that really didn't deserve it. Honestly looking at it without the stained view of people the quest is just as good as all the others before it, short, sweet and impactful. I really enjoy it and have been trigger happy with the block on anyone slightly annoying about it cause at this point it feels like we don't even play the same game lmao. anyways this will likely be the last post about people being weird as I don't wanna bring more negativity to the tag and I'm tired of people pff but posts like these are unfortunately important cause if you let the mold sit it'll contaminate and ruin everything. Jade, Stalker and their beb deserve all the love they can get, I will not tolerate slander. >:[

[turtleblogatlast]

Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.

Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.

Long-winded interpretation under the cut!

Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.

You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)

The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.

Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.

And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.

For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.

“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)

So, where does this leave us?

It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!

Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.

To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.

And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.

Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.

[m4lted-cr3am]

So I found the animatics for the music videos for Rise of Red on YouTube, specifically Red, Love Ain't it, and Life is Sweeter.

Let's start with Red.

I don't really have much to say about this other than the citizens of wonderland singing along with Red and seemingly looking up to her was pretty cool.

Now onto Love Ain't it.

Again not much to say other than

Extended GlassHeart Meeting

That alone makes this version better.

Now Life is Sweeter…

This is the one I have the most to say about.

Firstly, No Jaladdin! I am both rejoicified and devastated by that fact.

In Jaladdin's place we have "Hey Princess!" "Call me Tiana!" Which, as someone who loves Tiana and The Princess and the Frog, I loved hearing.

We also meet Zellie/Meadow/Seemingly Rapunzel and Chloe immediately falls in love with her which…

Firstly, lovely to find out that Chloe is either lesbian/bi/pan

But I don't like this ship at all. Firstly I'm a huge GlassHeart shipper. Secondly, it's problematic, Meadow most likely would've been an adult by the time Chloe was born, which yikes.

Just found out that Life is Sweeter has been privated

[superpineappleenthusiast]

an incomplete timeline of the marauders fandom

1999 - Prisoner of Azkaban is released - Wolfstar is born

2003 - Order of the Phoenix is released - WOLFSTAR

The case for R/S - an essay analysing all of Remus and Sirius' canon interactions and making the argument that they're canonically together

2004 - The Shoebox Project - wolfstar centric marauders era fanfic - Jily is popularised

(note: until this point wolfstar fics had mostly been set during the Harry Potter books timeline, with Sirius and Remus as adults)

2005 - Half Blood Prince is released - canon Remadora and the birth of bi Remus

2009 - The Life and Times - popular marauders era Jily fic

2010 - 2012 - the OG fancasts are popularised (Ben Barnes, Andrew Garfield, Aaron Taylor Johnson, etc)

2015 - An article about the Potter family reveals Euphemia and Fleamont Potter as James' parents (not Charlus and Dorea as was previously assumed)

2017 - All the Young Dudes - long marauders era fic in Remus' pov - Lesbian Marlene is popularised (which also marks the downfall of Blackinnon and the rise of Dorlene) and sarcastic Remus (influenced by his atyd characterization as an orphan. he's not always as hard/mean as he is in atyd, but it is a huge difference from the nerdy/shy Remus that was widely accepted before)

2019 - Welsh Remus becomes a thing (honestly I have no idea where that came from)

2020 - 2021 - All the Young Dudes is blows up on tiktok - Desi James is popularised - Peter also starts playing a bigger role in stories with an actual personality

2022 - Zeppazariel's fics and Choices - Jegulus focused fics, which led to Marylily, the Slitherskittles (and Rosekiller), and bi/pan James

other later marauder's fanon that popped up in the last five years

70s pop culture (music, smoking, fashion, etc.)

generally more diverse and socially aware characters (poc Mary and Dorcas, plus sized Lily, feminism, everyones queer and accepting) that tend to move away from their canon characterisations (James and Sirius were not bullies, but slightly immature pranksters. James is the Mom Friend and Sirius just has trauma. The technically death eater Slytherins aren't actually evil and blood supremacist , only affectionately mean and morally gray.)

note: personally I like what the fandom and characters have evolved into, however it has been criticised (especially by older fans) for being completely canon divergent, the characters being essentially OCs, and the 'glorification' and 'babygirlification' of bad people (I should also add that often times people who take this stance are often avid Snape fans/defenders)

feel free to add on to anything that I missed

[blackbird-brewster]

As a bisexual, I really, really, dislike seeing the rise in HC posts where people take a character (usually a female character) who was married to someone of another gender for MOST of canon and go 'She's a lesbian. Fuck her husband'.

You don't have to like her husband or whatever, but did y'all forget bisexuals exist? Or do you really hate bisexual women THAT much that you need to strip away a huge part of the character (like a canon marriage) before you can ship her with another woman?

(This is even more messed up when the character is canonically bi/pan and people see her date a woman and instantly call her a lesbian now. 😒)

I've been seeing more and more of these HCs and it's so annoying. Not all sapphics are lesbians. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[rielzero]

Just saw your post about ascended Astarion and male Tav fanfic. I am willing to rise to the challenge

If you need any prompts! here's some concept I've danced with in my head (up for anyone to use) inspired by my own character's potential AUs. Please do not claim ownership over the ideas, I'd love to see people's different spins. Please keep it to Male Tav, there's so many Female Tav fics out there already- I had ideas specifically with a male character in mind. M x M focus is preferred. I'm not bi or pan, so anything hinting to tav being exclusively gay is nice.

THESE ARE all PROMPTS / IDEAS not demands. I'm not here to control anyone's creative progress :V

I'm just a nerd be nice

Brain Damage Tav has used the tadpole powers but refuses to become half-illitid and keeps it how it is. Tav ascends Astarion- but is convinced by Jaheira or someone else that he is incapable of feeling love now and becomes afraid of him- (Astarion still is very much capable of love) Astarion responds of course like a scorned ex, and lies through his teeth when the break up happens and breaks tav's heart. Timeskip- it is revealed Tav's altered brain still has mindflayer powers, but because of the trauma of the final fight he suffers from severe memory loss and pretty much got themselves in a position were he is dying- only for Astarion to come around and save him by turning him- then be met with guilt and over-protectiveness when he realizes Tav does not remember their time together anymore. (would work for a series, this concept is what I intend to use for an AU of my character but it would be very different.) Lots of angst but soft ascended astarion towards male tav :3 very gentle- very protective.

You were There too AU were Tav was kept by Cazador but never turned, just kept as a snack- so Astarion knows him and they may have fallen in love during that time. During the ritual Cazador threatens to replace Astarion with Tav- Astarion goes feral.

I forget you're an Urchin Playing into the fact that Astarion was a corrupted Noble- knows what luxury life is like- inspired by how my tav is an urchin and very unfamiliar with luxury- Tav is Astarion's consort- but is very awkward not knowing ANYTHING about noble life, from etiquette to wearing jewelry and fancy garbs. Wholesome stuff- Probably lots of fluff. Astarion spoiling Tav and showing him off.

Three of them AU were Gale and Astarion and Tav are a in a polycule, after ascension Astarion becomes a little overly possessive over Tav- Gale notices a bit late and feels left out, but supports his loved ones new life goals... Of world domination.

I'm married, get over it Au were male tav has an horrible ex who breaks in the mansion because he thinks tav is enslaved to Astarion- but he's not- He's just as evil as Astarion. And they're very affectionate- Astarion enjoys rubbing it into the ex's face. Extra points if the ex is a human cleric, paladin, or bard with too much facial hair. (COUGHS)

Warlock? cool Any fic that plays into the warlock theme openly for tav, not similary to Wyll- all though I don't want to restrict anyone to a specific type of patron. (my patron is a great old one) keep in mind there's warlock patrons outside of the subclasses in the bg3 game if you need inspiration. If tav's patron is female, give them a mother-son kind of bond since tav is gay.

Other, Tropes I like described vaguely cuz my brain stoopid but ideas that can be expanded into one fic or more -oh shit you're dying don't worry I can fix it with a bite -you're so beautiful I want a 100 paintings of you akjdkhgkfhgk -The gods literally made you to ruin me god damn it I should've known -tav is small / fragile looking man but he can stab you 100 times over -tav can sing, or is creative but he doesn't like sharing this side of him (loki is 100% exactly this lol) hes easily embarrassed -tav is internally panicking because he is very very very gay. -tav has scars too and is very insecure about his body. -overprotectiveness, lots of handholding keep you close kinda stuff -wholesome physical affection, does not have sexual implications even if they talk dirty or flirt silly -words being used like petite, twink- or cute in the right context. -maybe a fic focussing on tav being half elf and the struggles that come with it. Otherwise leave race up to reader. -Tav was already a vampire before they met, or is a dhampir -Astarion and tav knew each other 200 years ago -I will pet you aggressively and affectionally and you will like it -who the fuck are you drawing? wait thats me??? oh -Astarion is creative too and might doodle. -love at first sight but in denial.. cuz its funny -tav has insomnia and needs cuddles... -tav is a necromancer and familiar with vampire lore. -anything reflecting the vampire bride/groom lore in a scene. (there's a reddit post explaining this) -Vampire hunters coming after tav in attempt to hurt Astarion because he's become pretty untouchable -Vampire Tav does not want to feed on his victims because he finds that too intimite -Vampire tav is a vampire lord too- but not an ascended one- and he isn't corrupted by greed. -Astarion technically can compel Tav, but has no desire to do so and voices this openly to anyone who tries to argue Tav is a slave. -If Astarion hurts tav by accident in any way he feels horrible and will shower him in gifts or thousands of love language things just to affirm that it was an oopsie and he did not want to do that. He'd never do that willingly. -consent consent consent anything with consent- love language is consent -tav was a sex worker himself before they met but not anymore -lots of fluff stuff -scheming husbands plotting the downfall of the world together, bonus points if tav is the mastermind and a genius -Polycule with Gale, either as Triad, or Triangle -Admiring from afar, staring- lots of staring- intense consential staring -astarion beating up tav's abusers while tav sips from a chalice like a spoiled consort -dramatic vampire parties and all the normie vampire lords are scared of Astarion and his consort -vampire politics are kind of like ballroom hissing contests with fancy banquets and showing off your partner -I will go feral if someone hurts or touches you -steer clear of the consort, or the master will gut you -jealous vampire lord tries to seduce tav but tav is very loyal to astarion and not having it -astarion gets a cleric or powerful mage in his court just to revive tav if tav dies -You offended my husband? I'm setting your village on fire -Everyone thinks the consort tav is weak- but the consort might actually be more dangerous oh no -None of the above lines have to be necessarily restricted by ingame universe, can all be AU- does not have to include the whole mindflayer drama. Rule of Cool.

Avoid these please? I personally dislike that -misgendering tav (babygirl, queen, girly, strictly effeminate- any words that might demasculinize tav, as a gay man this stuff makes me really uncomfortable) -Overly describing tav's features as if they're set without leaving it open to the reader (long hair, skin color, favorite colors, etc) -Astarion knew tav when tav was still a child and Astarion was an adult. -Astarion abusing tav physically, just.. Please no. -...they're teenagers in high school... *dies* -brainwashing.. No offense to people who like some tropes I don't- You're fine :V We all have different tastes!

Headcanons for how Ascension works that you can use (inspired by ingame dialogue and such) -Tav isn't a regular spawn, but a vampire groom- He was turned differently, not buried for 2 days. Astarion can sense Tav is in danger if he is a groom, or sense strong emotions from him. -Tav is not immune to sunlight unless he stays in close range of Astarion. (based on dialogue) -Astarion might be a bit warmer to the touch since he is a living vampire now. He does not have to feed on blood- but Tav still requires blood and is cold to the touch.

Might edit this post later with more.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

OC Sunday: Oisin, the space grandpa you want on your side

A gentle and kind Zabrak mechanic with a penchant for gardening and taking in strays. He hosts Benduday dinner at his home in Coruscant’s lower levels every week, where you might encounter a wide range of guests, from professional thieves, to illegal street racing bookies, to clone deserters, to feral children of the underworld. If you’re on the run and the Coruscant Security Force comes knocking, Oisin has never heard of you—even if you’re currently drinking a bottle of spotchka in his kitchen.

More info below the cut! Content warning for the sads, difficulty conceiving, pregnancy, death and grief, allusions to violence, blood and injuries including eye loss.

Overview

Name: Oisin (pronounced oh-SHEEN)

Birth year/age: 99 BBY (80 at the end of the Clone Wars)

Species: Zabrak

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: bi/pan

Home planet: Iridonia

Current location: Coruscant (by way of Oba Diah)

Occupation: mechanic (formerly head of maintenance at Oba Diah City spaceport)

Affiliation: Pyke Syndicate (former)

Alignment: neutral good

Family: Epha (wife, deceased), Draig (son), Branna and Mic Dhorhil (family of the heart)

Physical characteristics

Height: 5’10”/178 cm by the time of the rise of the Empire (6’/183 cm when Draig was born)

Eyes: blue

Hair: bald

Skin: orange/red

Tattoos/piercings/identifying marks: traditional Zabrak facial tattoos

Miscellaneous: developed cataracts later in life, also lost two inches of height by end of Clone Wars 

Personal history: 

Oisin was born on Iridonia, the son of Maiv, an Iridonian Zabrak botanist, and Quinn, a Dathomirian Zabrak bounty hunter. When he was a young boy, the family relocated from Iridonia to Oba Diah, as his father had taken a permanent position as an enforcer with the Pyke syndicate. It was a dangerous job, and Oisin was only seven when his father was killed on a mission. Maiv opted to stay on Oba Diah, as they had put down roots in the immigrant community of Oba Diah City.

Oisin was a quiet, gentle boy, who grew up to be a quiet, gentle man. He had no interest in following in his father’s violent footsteps, instead becoming a mechanic. When he was twenty-nine, he met a young Zabrak woman named Epha. She’d visited Maiv’s nursery to ask for advice about starting a garden, and when the time came to leave, Epha’s speeder wouldn’t start. Maiv called Oisin to help, and the minute he laid eyes on Epha, he knew he was going to marry her. It took over a year before he worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. They married three years later.

Both Oisin and Epha wanted children very much, but the years passed, and eventually, they resigned themselves to the certainty that it was not going to happen for them. They settled very contentedly into their lives. They were well-liked in the community, and Oisin excelled at his work, eventually becoming the overseer of all maintenance crews at the Oba Dia City spaceport, while Epha became a rather well-known botanical artist. The garden she had planted so many years before flourished and became an oasis in the midst of the chaotic city, and she often chose to paint among the flowers that she loved so much.

And then, when Epha was forty-two, she unexpectedly conceived. It was a high risk pregnancy; while Zabrak physiology differs significantly from humans, it was still considered a “geriatric” pregnancy—a term which Epha absolutely despised and ranted about frequently to Oisin throughout her term. Nevertheless, several months later, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Oisin had seen a lot in his forty-eight years, but he’d never imagined anything as perfect as his son when he looked into Draig’s eyes—Epha’s eyes—for the first time.

Epha and Oisin adored Draig, and for the next fourteen years, the family lived happily. The summer that Draig was fourteen, though, Epha suffered a massive stroke. She was gone by the time the medics arrived. 

Oisin was devastated. The truth was, Oisin had always thought he would grow old with Epha. The possibility that he might outlive her had never even occurred to him, and he was inconsolable. He did his best to hold it together for Draig, but the boy saw more than Oisin ever knew. Oisin thought Draig was holding up fairly well until one evening a few months after Epha’s death when his comm chimed.

Oisin was surprised to see Branna Dhorhil’s face when he answered the comm. They were friendly as coworkers; she operated a crane at the Oba Diah City spaceport, and he’d always thought she was a nice young woman. Even so, nothing prepared him to hear her tell him that Draig and her son, Mic, had been suspended from school for fighting back against a bully. Branna let Oisin know that Draig was safe at her home, then invited Oisin to join them for dinner.

In later years, Oisin often had the thought that the Force itself had sent Branna and Mic into his and Draig’s lives at the time when they were most needed. While Draig bonded instantly with Mic and quickly began to see Branna as a mother figure, Oisin felt that Branna, in many ways, became the daughter he’d never had. Her unwavering support and compassion helped Oisin through the worst of his grief, and when the pain of his loss became too much to bear, Branna was there for him and Draig.

One day, Oisin was feeling unwell at work and went home early. When he arrived, he found Mic pulling weeds in Epha’s garden. The boy was embarrassed to have been caught in the act, but he eventually revealed that he’d been stopping by and quietly doing yard work each day after school when he noticed the garden was getting overgrown. Oisin confessed that he was having trouble keeping the garden up despite how important it was to him as a reminder of Epha. Mic asked Oisin to teach him about the plants so he wouldn’t accidentally pull the wrong ones, and after that, the two of them worked together in the garden nearly every day. 

Mic was a quiet but imposing boy, large for his age, and with a sizable chip on his shoulder, due to his sensitivity about his absent father. Having never had a father figure, he was drawn to Oisin, and soon Mic began to understand that the Zabrak’s kind and gentle personality was not an indicator of weakness at all, but rather of a remarkable strength of character. More than anything, Mic wanted to be like Oisin in that way, and as he grew older, he did his best to emulate Oisin—though he inherited enough of Branna’s protective nature that he never quite outgrew his impulse to kick ass and take names when he saw someone being bullied or harassed. 

Oisin began needing to take sick leave more often, until one day, when the boys were sixteen, he collapsed at work. He was diagnosed with an aggressive degenerative disease that was known to affect Zabraks. Treatment was available, but unfortunately, like everything else on Oba Diah, the medical infrastructure and supply chain was controlled by the Pyke Syndicate, which charged an exorbitant amount of credits for the necessary medication. Oisin’s condition worsened steadily, as there was no way he could afford the drugs. It became obvious that he would not survive without intervention, and so, unbeknownst to Oisin and Branna, Mic and Draig hatched a scheme to steal the meds.

The boys managed to get what Oisin needed, but it was messy, and Branna ordered the boys not to say a word to Oisin about where the drugs had come from. He had already started on his course of meds and was fast asleep when Branna, Mic, and Draig burst into the house and began frantically packing a few basic belongings. Mic had been badly beaten, Branna was bleeding from a large gash on her face, and Draig—

Groggy and bewildered, Oisin demanded to know what was going on, and that was when he caught sight of his son, battered and bleeding, holding a hand over his left eye. There was no time to explain. Mic helped Oisin into a commandeered speeder as Branna and Draig gathered up the medical supplies they needed, and they raced to the spaceport. It wasn’t until they were aboard a stolen shuttle, safely in hyperspace, that Branna was able to tend to Draig’s eye and her own injuries. 

In his confusion, Oisin demanded to be taken home to Epha. Branna and Draig tried to explain what had happened, but Oisin was too out of it from the meds to fully comprehend. All he knew was that Draig’s eyes—Epha’s eyes—would never be the same. In the pilot’s seat, Mic wept silently as he heard Oisin beg them to take him back to Epha’s garden.

When the group reached Coruscant, they disappeared into the underworld. Oisin eventually made a full recovery and started his own mechanic’s shop in the lower levels. Over time, he became a beloved fixture in the community, well-known for his kind and generous nature, his willingness to help those in need, and his famous weekly Benduday dinners. 

Personality:

Quiet and reserved, yet invariably kind, and possessing an extraordinarily long fuse. Due to his lengthy association with the Pyke syndicate (not to mention the dubious legal status of many of his customers and family members), Oisin is deeply skeptical of authority in general and law enforcement in particular. He routinely and cheerfully lies to both the Coruscant Guard and Coruscant Security Force to protect the members of his community, and thanks to his soft and seemingly harmless demeanor, he gets away with it. 

His garage is well known in the underworld as a safe place if you run into trouble, and nobody in the lower levels is stupid enough to try to rob or harm him in any way. Not only would doing so risk the severe retribution of a certain imposing bartender and one of the top thieves in the galaxy, it would inevitably bring down the wrath of the Coruscant underworld community. Even worse, Oisin would probably invite them in for dinner and proceed to treat them with such generosity and compassion that they would end up not only returning his possessions, but probably volunteering to help him in his hydroponic garden.

He never fully moves on from Epha’s death, but over time, the pain gradually begins to lessen, and somehow, without ever quite realizing it, his family grows to encompass more and more beings of every imaginable description, all of whom would fight to their last breath to defend him if he ever needed them.

Even so, sometimes he will stand in the darkness outside his shop and gaze up into the swirl of Coruscant’s underworld traffic, remembering the warmth of the sun on his face as he sat in Epha’s garden.

---

Taglist:

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@burningnerdchild @saneabandoned

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi! I was on the asexual tag saw this blog and just wanted to see if anyone else who is aspec can relate to my ramblings. Rambling tldr: not claiming a label despite that label actually relating to my experiences because it just doesn't fit perfect enough and because it doesn't fit perfect enough in my mind I don't think I want to use it.

Now, back in 2020 I claimed being 'asexual' by name and then a couple of months later claimed being aroflux which eventually changed to 'greyaro' over a year later. And those two terms fit me the best, grey aro ace is me. However, because I'm greyaro I still feel romantic attraction though it is rare but its still present enough in my mind to continually be wondering about what label to put it as. For the most part, I don't have a label even when the attraction - romantic/sensual/alterous/aesthetic - arises. Which again doesn't rise often, but I daydream about it a lot or reminisce about old crushes - particularly the one about a girl way back in high school days. (Let me tell you that was a wild time in my mind). Back then I was thinking I was bisexual only to cancel it out because I didn't want to have sex with her. However I never questioned if I wanted to have sex with boys (I just assumed I would, thanks heteroallonormativity). But the romantic feelings I had for her were the same like the boy crushes (which came up every few years). And for a timeline purposes, before her my last crush (boy) was in the 7th grade, she was the 11th grade, and my last crush currently was senior year of undergrad college (the best one honestly I could actually talk to him and not be overly ridden with anxiety and embarrassment). And despite so many years passing I always wonder - does the bi label fit? Was that with her an bi experience? I know its whatever I feel like it was but also I'm wondering if my hesitation is because deep down having that bi label attached makes the 'im not straight' thought more permanent? If that makes sense? Like 'im not straight' in any way, not even hetero aro/ace? And maybe that thought just makes my head spin a little. I thought about the pan label too; but when I read the definition to see the differences between bi and pan I realized that pan definition doesn't connect the closest but bi does. However I still can't always make it fit. It's like when I was going by aroflux despite the fact it did not fit for me, it was clunky in my brain calling myself that. But then I read about grey-aromantic and it fit perfect! But not my romantic orientation is still in murky waters; I ID as a girl so for the most part of my life boys have been what I've been romantically attracted to, however hetero isn't me. I usually just go as fluid for all my attraction titles which I do like but that opens up more discussion of "okay, but who, what gender?" So in that case I guess bi would be the correct answer...despite the fact gender doesn't play a part (hence fluid label I go with and or queer) but it isn't all genders I fall for, I lean in some directions more than others. So it kind of does, doesn't it? But again I'm like "....meh it just doesn't fit/doesn't fit the way I want." And I am one of those people who agree that you don't have to use every label or any label including micro (for example, aegosexual I can relate to but I don't feel the need to have two microlabels) however, once I start thinking in depth I start to question myself as I do because I'm a thinker. And I think a lot because in real life I'm not in the space where I can speak about this openly with the people in my life.

Wonder if anyone else has had something like this on and off throughout their life too?

Thanks for listening~

you can be bi and greyromantic at the same time, if that helps! but not wanting labels is totally valid and if that feels best then go for it!

[the-lumpfish-king]

Very beautiful! Very Powerful!

MINORS: This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.

Thought I’d make one of these pined post things to introduce myself.

My name is Solanum, but you can call me Sol or Lump (or Sol Badgal if you’re epic)

I’m a 24 year old ginger, use it/she (they/them or neopronouns ok but not preferred), simultaneously demiromantic and polyamorous, exist in an asexual quantum superposition, and am bi/pan. Most importantly, I am also a fish

I have a degree in Physics with plans to go into a PhD program for research Astronomy. My area of focus is galaxy structure, formation, and evolution. I’m currently working on my first research papers, adapting my undergraduate thesis work into proper astronomy journal form. I love doing physics and take requests for calculations, stupid or serious (check “#lump’s calculations” for those I’ve done so far, these are my best posts by far).

Outside of research, work, and classes I can usually be found gaming, playing MTG, or putting way too much effort into my shitposts while watching something on my second monitor.

I can be found on a few other sites under the same username but am only active here, and if any mutuals want to connect on discord or steam dm me

If you take one thing away from reading this it’s GO PLAY OUTER WILDS RIGHT NOW. Do not look up anything about it, just play the game and then get your friends to play it. Then we can all talk about it. Please, I need to talk about this masterpiece with more people.

Now that you’ve learned about me I have gained access to your walls. Don’t worry, all I do is nibble a bit of drywall from time to time.

Too many fun facts below

My personal motto is: “The universe is scary and so much bigger than any of us can comprehend, so it’s our duty to fag it up as much as possible”

My plushies names: -Tofrug: Lord Squishers -Manatee: Weapon of Lettuce Destruction -Reimu Fumo: Air Fried Bastard -Hydreigon: Hans -Vaporeon: Dihydrogen Monoxide Puppy -Meowscarada: Greenfield -Reshiram: Nuclear Mommy -Gardevior: Horizon -Blåhaj: Jimbei -Gobbo Bard: Ga Bu

I love nature, and evergreen forests in particular. I enjoy hiking and mushroom and berry picking. Here’s a big cluster of morels I found

Here’s an overabundance of my personal top 3′s, not necessarily the three I think are best (except Outer Wilds, that’s best thing humanity has produced).

Games: Outer Wilds, FFXIV, Ori and the Will of the Wisps Manga: One Piece, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Dungeon Meshi Books: Red Rising, Percy Jackson, A Song of Ice and Fire Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Secret of Kells, Hundreds of Beavers Shows: Orb: On the Movements of the Earth, Mob Psycho 100, Ya Boy Kongming! Characters: Mr Torgue Highfive Flexington, Kronk, Nico Robin Mountains: Mt. Hood, Sierra de la Laguna, Mauna Kea Flying Critters: Giant Golden-Crowned Flying Fox, Pelican, Toucan Landbound Creatures: Red Panda, Jumping Spider, Goliath Frog Marine Animals: Sea Lion, Lumpfish, Giant Pacific Octopus Pokemon: Gardevoir, Hisuian Goodra, Zekrom Soundtracks: FFXIV, Made in Abyss, Wildfrost Albums: Starship Velociraptor, Everything Ends (Materia), Westwinds (The Real McKenzies) Foods: Cottage Pie, Khao Soi, my dad’s Chile Verde Fruit: Mexican Pitaya, Atemoya, Mango, Huckleberry Galaxy Clusters: Abell 0209, Abell 1689, macs0416

Cool galaxy pics I took with my university’s telescope

These two are the same, just with different color balancing

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

I watched Rise of red and have some complaints/thoughts:

Some of the songs were good, but the soundtrack wasn't as good as the others in my opinion.

LOVE the outfits, hints and the heart card skirt is fucking adorable!

Chloe and Red and fucking enemies to friends to lover lesbians I HOPE cause I will scream if Disney doesn't do that

I feel like the setting of the time travel is weird. Like, they go back in time when the adults are teens, but they're all in high school??? In a world I thought we at most confirmed to be mostly canon in animated movie timelines????? I mean, the villains who died in their movies are brought back to be banished with no magic on the Isle, so like...why???

Also, it adds a bit more levels of fucked up with the idea Belle and Beast are SOMEWHERE in the past and maybe grew up with everyone and then somewhere along the way when a new country/era was made with them being the rulers but basically shoved a lot of their old classmates onto a literal island with no magic cause "living with no magic is a fate worst than death".

All in all, it's a good movie. Did it have to been promoted in trailers and ads with Uma, implying she's a main focus, when they could've done either just the film as a fun in universe movie with the same plot of maybe a lil' book series that plays with the lore? I'm more upset with the fact we didn't get the original casts much and when we did it was very slim even though their faces were all over this project.

If I had to do a rating system of all the movies counting the Royal Wedding with ten being the highest and bestest film ever, I'll say:

Descendants - 8/10. Great story idea, soundtrack always slaps even if you were like me at the time and heard it like a million times if you live/work with children, and all the characters have changed a bit throughout the movie!

Descendants 2 - 9/10 Same for the first one, great plot. It's a good sequel. It gave me one of my favorite plot tropes of identity crisis and being comfortable in your own skin in Mal, the songs are so good to the point I still add What's My Name in my playlist, the costumes (minus Mal's wig but it gets a pass) are amazing as fuck, Uma and her crew are just *chef's kiss* Also this movie was just a lot of bi/pan energy and you can't convince me other wise! China was one of my earliest girl crushes and of course she's an amazing character, Harry Hook made me physically stop at my tracks when I first watched the movie, the kind of funny tension between any guy with Harry or any girl with Mal and of course THIS THING-

LIKE DISNEY, I SWEAR YOU DID A FIGHTING VERSION OF THIS IN RISE OF RED, IF YOU PULL THE "oh they're just good friends" LIE ON ME AGAIN I WILL BE PISSED!!

Descendants 3 - 6/10 It's not bad but it's just not as good as the others, ya know? Some of the costumes were weird, what was Doug's hair????, Jane and Carlos are just the fucking CUTESTS ever, while I was upset the songs didn't stick as hard, I do love Queen of Mean and Do What You Had To Do, the plot was sadly not a good one to follow even though there were so many things that were a good idea. Alas, so many good ideas yet so little time. But I think it has a higher ranking in my heart simply because this one was the main one that started my Disney Villain Recruiters Descendants AU that I still love so much

Speaking of which, I think since I wrote the one with Dalmatia not that long ago I'll try and see what I can do with the AU with all the movies, not just Rise of Red. I already have an idea of Jack Heart in this world since watching it, I still have drafts of certain events such as Apple seeing Snow again, I also think I need to cause I found out Harry and Audrey, a ship I grew to love over time since first watching it (Literally I was very into Harry and Uma and was at first annoyed when they baited and switched me in the end but I LOVE these two more!!!), are apparently not together in this! Now this is rumors I think but like I think someone confirmed she's engaged or married to a prince and Harry is sailing with his own crew.

DISNEY!!!

ANYWAYS!

I'll see what I'll be doing! I'm a little curious what they'll do from here is they do anything even if I personally didn't like it. Maybe we'll see the bad choices of the time traveling? I would like an idea of what if Red's mum wasn't evil then her and her dad may or not met, since in the original Disney Alice In Wonderland our lil king LOVES his wife even when she's scary! I personally think that would be a fun idea. And I seriously can't be the ONLY ONE who thought we were gonna have some big reveal that Cinderella was mean or ghosted to Bridget (love the pun name btw, good job Disney) in the past. Cause like her rage was a lot more than just they were friends when a prank happened and suddenly she's evil now. Like I was expecting a reveal like Cinderella went to the party and either knowingly knew but didn't stop the prank or unknowingly helped. Or maybe even had them be friends but she left Bridget alone/didn't stop the bullying in a kind of early Amity and Willow situation from Owl House with maybe Tremaine doing something to cause that to happen like a rumor Bridget is a bad influence, that could give her a edge as an adult of "you want mad, I'll give you mad" kind of scene.

Also the timeline of the film is a little weird minus the whole high school thing. They did a throwaway line of Chad being in collage which made me pump the breaks a bit. I assumed first Descendants they're all 14-16 years old, Descendants 2 takes place a year or so later, and Descendants 3 taking place another year or two depending on how I viewed the timeline of the Wicked World show with everyone being graduated and doing their parts in society and helping the school cause more kids from the Isle are added in, ending the series with the cast being mostly 18-19 years old at least with maybe Carlos and Jane being 17 since they may be younger in the cast. Yet with this line implies to me Mal and Ben got married right after graduating from school, and while we don't know what was happening during the moment of the wedding and the other movies, Uma being in charge would be rushed and sudden for everyone even herself since she should be the same age as the two who got married not that long ago. Also adds a interesting question of when did Carlos die within the timeline? Cause now I'm scared we got that cute moment with him and Jane having their ship name necklace and just all that sappy sappy cuteness and just afterwards Carlos died off screen before Royal Wedding which I'm guessing takes places the same year at least since everyone's designs imply so with hair and wardrobe.

I literally just wrote a fic of Dalmatia grieving Carlos on the same night of the wedding and I wasn't thinking much on timeline until NOW!

Ideas I have before I leave:

Instead of going back in time in the time your parent(s) are in highschool, I would've liked if it was before the Isle was locked away, like starting off. We could have an excuse to see younger casts of the Villain Kids and maybe even get more hints of who the other parents are, maybe even reveal some kids from the books even if it's a cameo in the back.

Have Red be more conflicted of how she rules. Her being scared to be like her mum is great, and her being a rebel is amazing, maybe show her be a great ruler in the rebellion and have a scene afterwards of her complaining about being a ruler. I would write her with that fear with maybe her seeing throughout the story that maybe there's a reason her mum was a little mad.

Have Chloe's struggle of what to do and break out her shell a bit more and not rushed??

Maybe do a reveal of Bridget being the Queen of Hearts later if you want to do that. Like, have a character fans assume is her and then like a saying happens and we get that plot twist.

That's all for now, I'd like to hear other's thoughts and ideas tho!

[sixhours]

Chapter 12 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

Your late-night trysts always happen at your place, never his, so you’re mildly surprised when, after a satisfying round of fucking, he asks you to come over. You’re watching him dress, admiring the lean line of his hips, the gentlest swell of his stomach, the way he frowns at the buttons in concentration, when you realize he’s been talking.

“...tomorrow afternoon? Was hopin’ you could come by the house…”

You raise an eyebrow.

“It’s nothin’ serious. I just, uh…wanted to ask you somethin’.”

“So ask,” you say, allowing yourself a long, languid stretch. You catch him watching you, color rising in his cheeks. 

“I uh, need to check on somethin’ first.”

“Well, now I’m getting suspicious, Miller.”

He smirks. But then he leans down, takes your hand, and slowly kisses the tips of your fingers one after the other, the act so intimate it puts a lump in your throat and makes your face burn with…lust? Shame? The two are so deeply entwined you don’t even know.

“I promise. Nothin’ serious.”

~*~

You’re almost at the end of the cul-de-sac when you see her dash out of the house, running past you, a blur of brown hair and pale skin. 

“Ellie!”

Joel barrels down the front steps, calling her name. He’s fuming when you meet him, looking over your shoulder, pacing like a wild animal in a cage.

“Goddamn it,” Joel mutters, flushed, jaw tensing.

“What happened?”

“Found these in her bag,” he says, digging something out of his pocket and tossing it to you; a small foil parcel. You unfold the crinkling aluminum to find four hand-rolled cigarettes, the smell of stale tobacco wafts from within. 

“She hid them from me. I told her if she was gonna smoke, she’d have to sleep in the garage because I’m not dealin’ with that in the house. Told her she was going to get cancer and be dead by 30 if she–but then she ran out. She won’t fuckin’ listen .”

He kicks at the ground in frustration, glaring down the street to where Ellie has already turned the corner.

“Why don’t I go,” you offer. “Maybe she’ll talk to me.”

He looks at you warily, then sighs. “Fine. God, I’m too fuckin’ old for this.”

“I’ll be back.”

You turn the corner onto the main street, following Ellie’s distinctive Converse prints in the snow. They lead you down the street, through an alley, and across the field to the stables.

“Ellie? You in here?”

You find her sitting on a bale of straw in one of the stalls with her favorite horse, Shimmer, sullenly petting the animal’s flank.

“He sent you to do his dirty work, huh?” she scowls, faded sneakers kicking at the floor. Shimmer whinnies lightly.

“I volunteered. Wanna talk about these?” You hold up the silver foil packet.

“No,” she shoots back.

“Ok, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk. We can just…hang out.”

She rolls her eyes but doesn’t budge from her perch. You pet Shimmer, running your fingers over the horse’s soft nose. 

“I wasn’t even gonna smoke!” Ellie bursts out after a few minutes. “I was holding them for Jesse. Joel just…freaks out about everything.”

“Well, that’s his job,” you say. “Keeping you safe.”

She snorts. “More like holding me hostage. Like one stupid cigarette is going to kill me when there are fuckin’ clickers everywhere.”

“Yeah…I get that,” you say. “My dad was overprotective, too. I always figured it was because I was an only child.”

“He’s not even my real dad,” she mutters into her knees, eyes shimmering with tears. “He’s just…Joel.”

You nod slowly, wondering if Ellie looks at her baby cousin and asks herself why the other little girl will get to grow up with both parents and a whole extended family when she didn’t get even one.

You have a sudden flash of inspiration and hold up the little packet. “You wanna try one?”

Her eyes widen in disbelief. “What?”

You shrug. “If you have a light, I could use a smoke. Then you can see what all the fuss is about.”

Her eyes narrow. “You’re a doctor. You’re not supposed to smoke. You’re supposed to tell me to stay away from drugs and wear my seatbelt and don’t drink until I’m 35 or some shit.”

“Ever heard the phrase, ‘Do as I say, not as I do’?”

She frowns, pulling a lighter from her pocket, considering it before handing it to you. “Promise you won’t tell Joel?”

“Promise.”

You pluck one of the gray-white sticks from the packet and light it, taking a quick drag, allowing yourself that first hit. The tobacco is so old it’s tasteless, like smoking the straw you’re standing on. You hold the cigarette out to Ellie, gesturing for her to do the same.

Ellie takes the butt and examines it, then puts it to her lips and takes a deep inhale, grinning as the smoke wafts out her nose. She starts to giggle, but suddenly she’s doubled over with a coughing fit, gagging, eyes watering.

“Holy shit,” she croaks when she’s recovered enough to speak. “That’s…that’s fuckin’... nasty .”

You smirk. “Pretty gross, huh?”

“Barf. Why does Jesse even like this stuff?” she says, handing the white stick back to you. You stub it out on the stall door, then tuck it back into the foil and roll it up.

“I bet he doesn't,” you offer. “But some people think smoking makes you look cool.”

Ellie wrinkles her nose. “Is that why you do it?”

“No. It’s a decent appetite suppressant when you can get the good stuff. Not this shit,” you say, wiggling the foil packet. “This is basically lawn clippings.”

“Can I have ‘em back, then?” she asks slyly.

You snort. “I don’t think so, kid. Your dad would have my head.”

“Jesse’ll be pissed,” she sighs, but you get the impression she’s not too concerned about the boy’s feelings. You watch as she reaches out to stroke Shimmer’s side, thoughtful.

“You know he had a kid, right?”

“Who? Jesse?”

“Joel.”

You lean against the stall door, trying to keep your voice light. “He did, huh?”

“Yeah,” she says softly, and you can see the gears in her head turning, calculating. “She died in the outbreak. I wonder if she…smoked.”

Her movements have taken on an almost hypnotic quality. It’s easy to see where her mind goes, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. 

Am I good enough? Can I be enough for him?

“I’m…sure she got into all kinds of stuff,” you say carefully. “I know I did when I was your age.”

She sniffs at this but doesn’t say anything, letting the silence stretch.

“Ellie–”

“I think he’s lying to me.”

“Who, Joel? Why would he lie to you?”

“To protect me.”

“Protect you from what?”

She doesn’t respond, just keeps rubbing the horse, hand over hand, following the grain of the coarse hair, smoothing it.

“Protect you from what, Ellie?” you press, softening your voice.

She looks straight at you then, a glare that’s almost a challenge, daring you to break her open and spill her secrets. You see the hurt and fear in her eyes and wonder what other burdens she’s carrying alone.

“We should go,” she says abruptly. “Joel’ll have a fuckin’ aneurysm.”

~*~

Joel is sitting on the steps, waiting where you’d left him. Ellie runs ahead and you hang back, giving them some privacy. They talk, him with his hands on his hips and her looking down, picking at her cuticles. Eventually, he grips her shoulder gently and she nods, eyes downcast. Then she darts up the stairs and into the house.

“Christ,” he murmurs as you approach, dragging his hands down his face and collapsing back onto the steps. “I’m fuckin’ this up.”

“Nah,” you wave it off, joining him. “She’ll be fine.”

“Those goddamned friends of hers are a bad influence.”

You cock an eyebrow. “Because she’s the picture of innocence?”

This earns you a glare, but there’s no malice behind it, just fear.

“You let her smoke,” he grumbles. “I could smell it on her. And you,” he wrinkles his nose.

“I…may have employed a little reverse psychology. I don’t think she’s going to take up the habit.”

“So now you’re a shrink, too?”

“No…but I was a 15-year-old girl once. And I didn’t have to grow up in a hellscape of martial law and mushroom zombies. Maybe give her a break.”

He scowls, frowning down at his hands.

You nudge his shoulder lightly, leaning into him. “You mad that I let her try one?”

He shakes his head. “I did the same thing with–”

He stops abruptly, swallows hard, then says softly, “I’m not mad.”

You know he had a kid, right?

You clear your throat against the sudden heavy silence. “So, did you just ask me over here to play shrink, Miller?”

He takes a deep breath. “Right. I, uh…I wanted to know if you…wanted to have dinner. Here. With us.”

Us.

“It was her idea,” he says quickly, tilting his head back toward the house. “She’s taken a liking to you, I guess.”

You blink, barely masking your surprise. “Oh?”

He bites his lip. “She doesn’t have a lot of, uh…role models. You’ve made an impression.”

“I’m flattered,” you say, all the while internal alarms are ringing, guilt pinging your core. She’s a target, not your friend. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. With…us.”

Us. That word again.

His eyes meet yours and you think you see a flash of disappointment, but he nods. “Yeah…yeah you’re prob’ly right,” he frowns, then nudges your shoulder. “S’your loss. I make a mean Chef Boyardee.”

You snort. “You can tell her I’m allergic to 20-year-old canned pasta if it helps.”

“She’s mad enough at me for both of us these days,” he sighs. “Won’t drag you into it.”

You sit in companionable silence, a new and unexpected side effect of your physical relationship. Sometimes you silently curse Theresa for being so right about this–that you and Joel are more alike than you’d care to admit.

After a while, you stand and stretch. “I should get back. They’re going to wonder where I am.”

Joel nods and says he’ll see you around in his quiet southern drawl.

Ellie’s words replay in your mind all the way back to the clinic.

I think he’s lying to me.

[castingpsalms]

welcome to my blog about my spirituality! here is a little bit about me~

stats

name: bailey

pronouns: she/her

age: 25

orientation & sexuality: cis woman, probably bi/pan (still questioning)

location: america

race: white

health: disabled via autism, adhd, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, & pots

astrology: libra sun, aquarius moon, aries rising

those are the quick stats about me! now here’s a little more about who i am and what i believe.

so, i consider myself to be a progressive christian witch! what that means to me is that i believe fully in equality, diversity, and human rights in general, and that God MADE everyone beautifully and wonderfully exactly as they are. i also believe that we should be taking care of our planet as much as we can, so i try to do my part in that and am still learning how.

i believe in the Holy Trinity -- God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, whom i believe is the Divine Feminine and i call her Sophia. i believe She was erased due to sexism and a host of other things, and i want to bring Her back by working with Her in my practice. i also often refer to God as "They", because there are three distinct versions of God, and as a whole, i believe God is gender neutral.

now, let's talk about hell. i have no idea what i believe about hell yet, i'm still trying to deconstruct it. i know the kind of God i believe in and that They are bigger than something the church likely made up to control people, but a part of me is still terrified that it's real due to religious trauma. so, i'm still working through that.

but on a lighter note, i wanna talk about my practice!! i don't have it yet because it's still shipping but my rosary is very important to me. i'm going to wear it every day and use it in every spell. it's a bloodstone rosary so i can connect with Jesus, feel healed, and protected. i don't pray the rosary traditionally because i'm not catholic, nor was i raised catholic, but i pray it with Bible verses that speak to me instead. i also use sigils made out of the same Bible verses for my spells.

i also use a lot of astrology and tarot in my practice. i believe these are tools that God made for us to use to connect with Them and to connect with ourselves -- the creation They made.

i really want to get into herbs, yoga, shadow work, dream work, art magick, and tech magick. these are on my list of things i haven't started my research on yet but WILL be exploring as part of my practice for the future.

so, yeah! i look forward to interacting with all of you and enjoying my time here on tumblr. i've always loved tumblr so this feels like a homecoming of sorts for me :'))

also also my url might change a lot because i'm a libra sun and am INDECISIVE, so here's a list of my previous urls:

christowitchy

rosarywitch

[onlygayinthecomics]

I been thinking about my turtle gender+sexuality headcanons (the ones I am reasonably familiar with)

To start, 2003:

Leonardo: I see him as transmasc, most likely coming out in early childhood by simply requesting that his family refer to him as a boy like his brothers, no fanfair. Probably gay, but I can swing bi/panromantic. I like him on the asexual spectrum. He seems most interested in people who can hold their own in a fight, as well as those with some kind of authority. Subby as fuck.

Raphael: Almost stereotypically masculine, you might think Raph is cis, but I see him more as bigender or a transwoman. She is unaware of this, and will never have any kind of egg moment on his own. Needs Donny to literally remind her that Leo transitioned when they were kids. Bi with heavy gay leaning. Wants a partner who can kick his ass.

Donatello: The rare cis turtle, demiromantic or aromantic pan. Sees sex more as a platonic bonding activity, would probably like a qpr.

Michelangelo: My boy hasn't seen a gender she doesn't like, whether that be for identity or dating. Very fluid in how they see both xirself and the world. I do prefer he/him for Mikey, but I also feel that he wouldn't give a fuck what pronouns are used.

2012 up next

Leonardo: I love transfem Leo with my heart and soul (big shock, I know), however this turtle is a veritable playground for identity headcanons. Leo can be read as transfem, transmasc, bigender, agender or really anything you can think of. Will be supremely insecure about this, even when no one else cares. Sexuality wise, Leo is into you as long as you're related to her able to kick her ass.

Raphael: Can be read as either transfem or transmasc, although I'm personally fond of masc. He'd prefer a woman who will kick his ass before pampering him, or a guy he can bully.

Donatello: Donatello desperately wants to be seen as "normal," to the point of refusing to acknowledge that he is both masc nonbinary and bi.

Michelangelo: Once again our pan king, Mikey will fall in love with most people within minutes of meeting them, even if that is very obviously a bad idea. Dtf whenever, but I actually think Mikey would see sex as just a fun thing to do, rather than something to be actively desired. Prefers a more masc identity, although whether that is as a cis guy or trans varies by the day.

Rise!

Leonardo: A gay transman, big shock I know. Like I don't even think that's a headcanon, I'm pretty sure that's just canon (fight me). I actually think this boy wants an authority figure more than any other Leo, and probably wants to be bullied and praised in equal amounts.

Raphael: I actually see him as cis, but I have seen the transfem art, and see the appeal. Pan as hell, with a preference for the cute and badass. Would probably also like an older partner who could kick his ass.

Donatello: Transmasc nonbinary and living it without shame. Bi, with preference for women.

Michelangelo: "Gender is optional, orange is not" quote stolen from rayshippouuchiha's Naruto Don't Gender Good au. I just think it fits him really well. Ace/aro, but loves the concept of love, just for other people. Arolovic.

I will do Mutant Mayhem after a few rewatches.