#bi!willow is the declaration from tptb and i both welcome the representation and lament that the network restricted this

[gh-0-stcup]

One thing that does bug me a little with discussions of Willow is the disregard for the very common queer experience of believing you are straight.

You can absolutely mistake strong feelings of closeness and aesthetic attraction for sexual desire/love. Especially when you're living in a society with very little awareness or acceptance for queer people and you've never been with someone you're actually attracted to before.

You've got a lot of people around you talking vaguely about love and sexual desire and very few examples of queer people that relate to you personally. You don't really know what you're supposed to be feeling, only that it's supposed to be directed at the opposite sex.

It's all flipped around. Like, you assume that what you feel when you see pretty girls in magazines in the same thing the girls around you are describing when they talk about how gorgeous xyz model is.

You assume that the closeness you have with your boy friends (and/or boyfriends if you end up having them) is the same as what the other girls are describing when they have a crush.

When you picture your future and don't see a husband and 2.5 kids, but growing old with your bff in a cute lil farmhouse or living in a spare bedroom and being the cool auntie to their kids after bestie's husband tragically passes away? That's just you being quirky and independent. Not wanting boy drama mucking up your life. Being a spinster sounds like so much fun.

And then you go to college and you "experiment". Your lips touch a woman's for the first time and it's a revelation. Oh, that's how this is supposed to feel.

This is very much a real experience. It's happened to people in their 60s who have been married for half their lives. It could absolutely happen to a 19 year old.