#bhai thak gyi hu zindagi se

[rayyzcosmos]

parents think they're right that's why I'm doing what they want but little do they know i agree to their decisions only because they're paying my bills

[bharti-pareek]

MERI KHANI

zindag. kya h zindagi...

Ye zindagi rona sikhati h or fer hasna,

ye zindagi jeena sikhati h or fer marna,

ye zindagi jhgdna sikhati h or fer pyar krna,

ye zindagi harna sikhati h or fer jeetna,

yhi h zindagi...

MERI KHANI 1

Ek beti bnaya phle mujhe es zindgi ne.fer dhere dhere ehsas dilaya ki m ek ldki hu.fer sikhaya kurbani.fer sbko khush krna.. kisi or ke ley jeena. kisi ne kha ye kr skti h, kisi ne kha ye ni kr skti, kbhi kisi or kbhi kisi or ne bnai khani meri or ye bhula diya enhi kisi ne kon hu m?kon thi m? hmesha dekhti rhi sbhi ko me sikhti rhi sbhi se is zindagi ko jeena. ma papa thy guru mere kbhi bhai bhi. bhut pyara tha ye chota sa ghr mera..

MERI KHANI 2

Jab ek beti ke bad bni m fer ek ldki. jb koi aaya mere es zindagi me jisne fer se mujhe ldki bnaya, bhut kush thi me. jse mano m kisi or hi duniya me hu. na kisi ki khbr na kisi ka pta bs uhe muskurate rhthi thi m. dhere dhere pta bhi ni chla fer kho se gyi wo ldki fer kisi ke ley jeene lgi.. or fer aaya wo din jb bnna pda ek Bahu.

bhut bda shbd h ye. es shbad ko hi praya smjha jata h. ab apne ghr jane ke ley jha m bde hui, jha m kheli whi jane ke ley mujhe leni hogi izajt sbhi ki.. bhut hi jldi aaya ye sbhdh ko sikhne ka wakt mera. jese chuna tha mene or mere ghr ne, uske sath jeena tha ab mujhe. yhi sochti rhti thi kse chutega ye chota sa pyara sa ghr mujhse.lekin pta hi na chala kb ho gyi prayi me iske ley..

MERI KHANI 3

jb bni m bahu tb dikha ek nya hi roop, mera bhi or baki sb ka bhi. sochti rhti din bhr akeli, yhi h zindagi mri. kisi ki yad me rhna, phone pr bate krna,or musurana or fer unhe yado me rhna. jb bari aai jimmedari ki to nibhai mne bhi, puri apni samajh se,apni trf se kosish ki. wo rat bhar bat krna or fer uthna . sikh gyi thi sbke ley jeena . bhula diya tha khud ko khi.

Phir ek din shuruat hui kuch alg hi chahre aay sbke samne or un chahro ne kha kam chor hu m, grib ghr ki hu m, kuch kr ni saki abhi tk na kuch kr paugi. chote, bde sb ne kuch na kuch di hidayt mujhe.jb tk swal uthe mujh pr shn krti gyi fer uthne lge papa pr kse shti me.fer bhi kuch na bola kisi ko shati rhi bs shati rhi quki sikhaya tha papa ne mujhe yhi.socha koi h jeske ley hu m yha usi ke ley bs shati rhi. fer jb hua ye sb mere hamsafar ke samne koi na smjha mujhe us din. koi na smjha,fer toot se gyi thi m.

Pher ki ek glti ,ki kha papa ko mne fer se le chlo na mujhe, bna do fer se beti mujhe, ye bahu sbdh hi bhut bda h mere ley.eska vajan bhut bhari h mere ley. tb fer kuch samay ke ley bni rhi ek beti me.smjhaya papa ne us din mujhe jse rhi tu beti yha wse hi rhna hoga tujhe bahu or patni bn kr wha.jha sb ko lga mri sbse bde glti thi ye, whi mujhe is glti ne ek aurat bna diya. shati rhi logo ka kha sunti rhi shmi se chup se khdi whi. ab wo din aay jb pta chla bnna h ek MAA mujhe.. sach khu es shbd ne bhut shikhay h mujhe..

MERI KHANI 4

JB aai bari Maa bnne ki. Bhut roi thi me, socha ye sahi to h? fer bn kr hamsfr sath diya mera or me fer muskurate hue gle lga leya. jb jb es jeevan ne mujhe apne ek nay chahre se milwaya socha shayd ab sb khani jsa hoga lekin logo ke nay chahre aay samne mere, kisi ne kha ye ni kiya, kisi ne kha ye q kiya. ab thak chuki thi m sbke khne pr chl kr kuch na mila tha siway dukh ke or mujhe.

Ab hona chahti thi me fer se mere hamsfar ki fer jeene lgi me unke ley jo thy mere sbse kreeb. jb aaya wo din jb aay ek nanha sa mri god me dekhti rhi ussi ko sara drd mano kho sa gya. tb bhi kosish ki logo ne drd dene ki lekin ab me ek Maa thi hr drd kam tha us masuum se chahre ke aage. din nikle rat nikle. ho gyi m us masuum ki. jb wo rota m roti,jb wo hasta me hasti,hui tkleef use to dard mujhe bhi hua utna hi. jeena sikhaya fer sb logo se dur krke mujhe usne apne ley. bhut khush thi me in sb me..me mere hamsafar or mera masoom.

Ek choti se duniya thi mri wo. wha bhi sb chle apna apna kahne. kisi ne kha glt h ye ni hona h tujhe yha.dur rhna hi rhega sahi tere hamsfar se tera,kse krege ye enka bhla. pta kha tha kisi ko yha kiya mne hi h uske ley wha. wo band kmre ke andr shmi se dri se roti hui rato ko smbhala h mne he use. koi na tha wha jb smbhaala mne use akele. kisi ne pucha bhi ni kuch jrurt h tujhe. sikhti rhi uhe akele sath diya mere maa papa ne mera.

fer log krte rhe jo unhe krna tha or m krti rhi jo mujhe krna tha. mera bachha,mere hamsfar hi mere apne the. jb bni m ek Maa tb sach me bade hui thi me hone lga ehsash mujhe. jb lga jrurt h kisi ko mri kdhi rhi thi me lekin jb thokr mari fer use ne to fer giri thi me. uth khdi hui or smbhl gyi thi me.. ab badi thi me.. ab maa thi me. shayd iss dard ke bina kahani adhuri hoti meri..

Jruri ni ki hmesha bure krmo ki vjh se hi dard milta h,

Kai bar hadd se jayda acha hone ki bhi kimat chukani pdti h...

YEHI THI MRI KHANI.. YHI H MRI KHANI..OR SHAYD YHI RHEGI MRI KHANI....

[reevayat]

I am full with frustration. Subah utho toh gussa, raat ko sone jao toh frustration.

26 saal se robotic life jike thak kr gyi hu , jaha sirf mai parents ki puppet hu. Subah se leke raat tk mujhe sirf meri khamiya ginai jati hai. Ek gilti ho jaiye toh ghanto bhashan aur kadwi baate. Mujhe apni zindagi aise nhi jini. Kisi k liye sex machine, bache paida karne wali machine aur lifetime naukrani nhi bnana mujhe. Kabhi kbhi man hota ki mujhe maut aa jaye ya mujhe khud ko marne ki himmat. Meri life ya death se kisiko koi farq nhi pdega , na hi kuch bdlega. Kbhi kbhi ya hamesha mujhe apne parents aur bhai pr gussa aata hai, nafrat hoti h mujhe. Mujhe hr waqt chota mehsus hota hai. Agr mai ladka hoti toh mere sath aisa nahi hota.

[rayyzcosmos]

ye zindagi waale zakhm dikhayi nahi dete aur toot-te sapne sunayi nahi dete par bhai jo dard hota hai n.... *chefs kiss*