#beware. she is fucked up <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[tojisbbg]

gang baby

❝she told you she celibate, but she told me i can nail her shit!❞

♡ sylus, caleb, rafayel, zayne, xavier ♡

sypnosis: you're just a girl. yeah, you can't decide between five hot LI's presented to you in the popular otome game, love and deepspace, but that's okay. who said you can't have them all? literally.

wc: 11k (lots of smut beware)

a/n: valentines day special!! guys, don't question it, ok? i wrote this with my whole pussy. ok bai. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3

content: all lads LI's x fem!reader (yes, you read right), gangbang, slight plot, reader gets transported in lads universe, smut (no details, find out hehe), all acts are consensual, not edited. disclaimer: not based off tomorrow's catch-22!!

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

"fuck!" you yelled out in frustration, chucking your phone off your bed as the poor device fell on the floor with a loud thud. you could hear your best friend giggling from your laptop, making you shoot her a sharp glare.

"shut up." you sneer, but it only fueled her laughter more.

"damn, infold really hates you, bro." she pokes further at your miserable failure, making your shoulders slump in defeat as you grumble.

"i can't believe it. i've been grinding for two months straight to save up fifteen thousand diamonds for the valentines day banner! i was sure i'd pull them all, and you're telling me i only got two out of the five?? this is a fucking joke." you ranted, making your friend hum as she understood your anger.

"yeah, i'd be mad as hell too. but hey, at least you got sylus and caleb. just watch the rest on twitter or something." your best friend tried to comfort you, but it only made you pout.

"but i want them all." you sulked, making her roll her eyes.

"you're such a whore." she sighed, making you grin.

"duh, why choose one when i can have them all." you nonchalantly responded.

"yeah, yeah, forgot you had no shame." she shook her head in disbelief.

"man, i don't know what else to do. i literally milked the game dry, there's no other way i can get more diamonds for more pulls before the event ends. this is so unfair." you whined, fingers tangled in your hair.

"you can always-"

"no. i'm not giving those greedy hoes my money." you cut off her suggestion, your tone stern.

you were a poor college student who worked part-time at a stationery supply store (living the aesthetic life while crying over classes and fictional men); money's tight, and you're not about to spend hundreds on this because you know it'd become a horrible habit sooner or later.

despite being broke, your spending habits were outrageous.

"yeah girl, then i don't know what to tell ya. i'm chilling with my rafayel card. oh shit, it's almost three in the morning, bitch. we have class tomorrow, go to sleep." she yawned tiredly.

"you're leaving me just like that? after i went through so much pain and trauma? is this how deep our ten years of friendship runs? just say you hate me and want me to die a slow painful death." you dramatically rambled, making your best friend rub her temple in faux annoyance as she groaned at your stupidity.

"when i see you tomorrow, i'm gonna slap you. goodnight, hoe." with that, she hung up.

you closed the lid of your laptop and placed it on charge, stretching before standing up to go pick up your phone. you noticed the small cracks on your screen as you walked back to your bed.

you unlocked your phone, noticing how the lads server kicked you out. you exited the app, clicking on it again as you were met with caleb's face.

so l-long for longe-ge-... before fa-fa...dust

so long for-for-.... fading-fa..-dus..

so-so...lo...ng-..fading...

your eyebrows furrowed as you watched the app glitch horribly, the audio was choppy and produced crackling noises. the graphics were disoriented and there was a pop-up notification saying you needed to upgrade your memory.

you could feel your irritation rise once again, getting tired of this shit as you decided to deal with it tomorrow or something. however, every time you tried to exit the app, it wouldn't let you.

your phone literally froze.

"great. just fucking great." you sarcastically murmured.

not only did you not get the limited cards you wanted, you were broke (in the real world and in lads), you're screwed for your morning classes and your phone is currently on its last breath.

also, you were hungry as fuck right now, craving for some five guys.

"fuck this." you sighed in defeat, settling your phone next to you before laying down to sleep. you figured that eventually your phone would turn off once the battery died, so until then you just turned to the other side and ignored the device.

soon enough, fatigue took over your body as you were slipping away into a deep slumber.

unaware, your phone screen turned off momentarily, before flickering on once again as the screen crackled and glitched before stopping.

data retrieval complete, memory upgrade...

successful.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

you stirred in your sleep, eyebrows pinched together as you felt a cold breeze run across the bare skin of your thighs and arms.

nonetheless, you don't remember leaving your window open, it was the middle of february. you groaned, eyes still shut tight as your hand reached down, trying to locate your blanket.

"comfortable, sweetie?" you heard an oddly familiar, deep voice suddenly speak.

did someone break into your house? and why the hell did your mattress feel so hard and cold?

your eyes shot open, adjusting your blurry vision as you realized you were not in your bedroom. you were laying on the cold, dirt ground and it made you panic.

you helplessly sat up and noticed the long pair of legs in front of your body, making you look up as you saw the towering figure of a man. the night sky was dark, making it hard for you to make out his face.

"who are you? and what the hell am i doing out here?" you asked, but your voice barely came out as a whisper.

a deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, before he bent down to come eye-level with you. as soon as you met the bright, ruby red orbs of his foxy eyes; your jaw dropped in horror.

no. fucking. way.

"shouldn't i be the one asking you those questions, sweetie?" sylus smirked, head tilting as he keenly watched your facial expressions.

"you're not real. i'm dreaming, yeah, just a dream that feels too real." you blurt out, a breathy laugh scratching your dry throat, trying to calm yourself from freaking out as your heart leaped to your chest when he directly looked at you.

"a dream, you say? hmph, you're a strange one." he shook his head before grabbing your wrist, bringing your palm to his lips. the warmth of his rough hands, which were definitely double the size of yours, made you shiver due to the contrast of your cold ones. he bit the side of your palm before gently sucking on it, making you jolt from the sudden sensation.

sylus watched you with pure amusement glinting in his eyes.

"you're like a scared little kitten, so expressive." sylus commented, making you swallow harshly.

well, this definitely was not a dream, thanks to sylus's help for that confirmation.

but the question was.... how the hell did you end up here?

suddenly, there was rustling in the distance, making his eyes twitch as he became alert. sylus slightly shifted closer to you, now scanning the area for the intruder.

"miss bodyguard?" with a dramatic gasp, you heard rushed footsteps approach you. it was hard to miss the hues of indigo, pinks and blues in his eyes along with the striking dusky purple hair that was a little more visible thanks to the moonlight.

"r...rafayel?" it felt odd saying his name out loud, it almost made you feel a little schizophrenic.

just a bit.

"duh, who else would it be? what are you doing here in the N-109 zone at this hour. also, the hell are you wearing? so not creative or fashionable." rafayel questioned, of course, not forgetting to throw in his snarky little insults along with it.

"what's wrong with what i'm wearing?" you glared at him.

"it's the middle of february and you're dressed like it's a hundred degrees outside." the lemurian smirked down at you.

you cursed at yourself for going to bed in shorts and a thin shirt. well, to be fair, it's a cute snoopy set. also, who in the hell could've predicted this to happen!?

"she wanted to have a little sleepover with the wanderers that lurk around here." the dragon teased, making your face heat up.

"i did not." you mumbled under your breath.

"uh-huh, you're not really in the position to defend that claim." rafayel egged further.

"whatever, what are you doing here? you usually don't go out of your way to come to the N-109 zone." you tried to change the subject, remembering from his anecdotes that he usually has third party people as his "networks" to gain intel.

"just some business you shouldn't sweat your pretty little head over, cutie. but, you know, we should really talk about what your business is with the leader of onychinus." he cocked an eyebrow, his eyes flickering between you and sylus.

"it's nothing, uh, i don't even know him." you chuckled nervously, making sylus look at you with a sharp look.

"is that so, kitten? you wound me. and here i thought we had something more than just... acquaintances. i guess those nights of naughty touches, kisses and naked glances mean nothing to you, right?" sylus shamelessly bullet-pointed, his tone dropping an octave lower as your cheeks grew warm.

on the other hand, rafayel's eyes widened at the revelation.

"you fucked the leader of onychinus?! woah, woah, woah, pause. what about everything that happened between us?? we had sex in my bathtub, the hotel and don't forget-" he was flabbergasted, only to be cut off by sylus.

"you were messing around with this half-baked fish, sweetie? i'm disappointed in your taste. if you planned on two-timing, you could've selected a better opponent for me. this is just... offensive." he snarked, his red eyes beaming with irritation as he looked at rafayel, who's face grew dark from his brash words.

"what did you say to me, you fucking crow? half-baked fish? i'm the god of tides, a majestic lemurian. you dare to speak to me like that?" rafayel's voice became husky, languid footsteps towards the other man.

"h-hey, hey, let's all calm down. there's a very logical and reasonable explanation, i swear." you tried to mediate between them, but it didn't seem like they planned on giving a flying shit about what you had to say any time soon.

"y/n? there you are. i've been blowin' up your phone for hours. thought a wanderer got to you and i got worried about how i'd pay the rent by myself." xavier walked from the shadows, his words laced with a gentle joke as he approached you and the other two men.

holy fuck, this was not good.

"and who are you guys?" the ash-blonde male asked, eyes narrowing before looking down at you.

"xavier." you meeked, not even knowing what to say anymore.

"why are you seeing other guys, y/n? am i not enough? you know i don't like it when you hide things from me. i thought you learned your lesson after i punished you for choosing lumiere over me." xavier now towered over you, his voice laced with envy as you gulped.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

"xavier, i promise i can explain. this is all just a-" you tried to somehow pull an excuse out of your ass, but your brain was fogging up.

"pipsqueak?"

"y/n? what an odd place to be at during such an odd hour, you left your patient copy in my office."

two other figures emerged from the sides, making your eyes close in disbelief, wishing that you could somehow disappear from the face of earth right now.

why the fuck are they all here.

at the same time.

"you've got to be kidding me." you covered your face with the palm of your hands.

"caleb? i thought you were dead." zayne spoke in a monotone, glancing at his childhood friend.

"wow, i missed you too, zayne." caleb rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his words. however, the small spark of tension barely lasted before caleb looked back at you.

"care to explain why you're in such a dangerous zone at this time? you know you can't hide from me, pipsqueak. what connections do you have here? who are you seeing? was locking you up in the attic not enough for you?" caleb lectured, his voice gruff before zayne decided to add on to the fire.

"you're utterly reckless, your heart condition isn't getting any better." zayned pushed the frame of his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

all five on them now circled you, bickering and arguing with each other along with bombarding you with questions. you balled your fists in annoyance and frustration.

"shut up! oh my fucking god, i don't know, okay?! i don't know how i ended up here, so stop asking me. fuckin' hell, i can't even get a moment to breathe or think because all of you little shits won't shut up for a second!" you snapped as you stood up, making all of them look at you with surprised eyes.

you gulped, feeling a little cornered as you have five insanely tall, broad and buff men look down at you; like helpless prey.

caleb was the first person to break the momentary silence, grabbing your arm to pull you towards him.

"let's go home, pipsqueak. i'll cook your favorite tonight since it's valentines day." he smiled, only for your other arm to be tugged backwards as you yelped.

"home? her home is with me, we're roommates. i think you got the wrong person." xavier calmly replied, but his words were laced with venom.

"she's going nowhere with either of you. she's my bodyguard and i need her to come back with me to my studio. y'know, in case some scary wanderers are lurkin' around." rafayel pushed xavier to the side, intertwining his fingers with yours before giving you a charming smile as he attempted to walk off; only to bump into someone.

"i don't think so. she's been out here for so long, i might need to give her an exam to make sure she's okay." zayne cleared his throat, pinching the bridge of his nose.

you felt like you were the rope being tugged in tug-of-war. sylus deeply sighed at the situation and before you knew it; in one smooth swoop you were now in the strong arms of the leader of onychinus.

"what fools. she's in the N-109 zone for a reason. for me, of course. come on, sweetie, you must be freezing. let's go inside." sylus look down at you with a gentle smile playing on his lips.

you groaned, squirming out of his hold as sylus let you, watching you get back on your feet.

"this is ridiculous! you all are acting like a bunch of kids, fighting over me like i'm some kind of toy. none of you own me!" you stood your ground.

"fine, then why don't you choose?" sylus scoffed, crossing his arms. you grew quiet, looking at each of them before averting your gaze to the ground.

"i... i can't." you whispered.

"you can't? or you don't want to?" xavier snickered.

"you're the one who's been toying with us. we deserve an explanation, no?" rafayel grinned.

"explanations are too time-consuming, actions speak louder than words. so, how are you gonna fix it, y/n?" hazel eyes peered at you with intensity through the glass lenses.

oh, you're so fucked.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

everything happened so fast, you didn't know who swiped your panties off or unclasped your bra.

you felt betrayed at how they evilly plotted against you, telepathically agreeing to punish you for your unfaithfulness. what happened to hating each other? so, here you were now, splayed on the soft mattress in sylus's room; like art on a display.

they drank in the sight of you, perky tits spilled out as the smooth glaze of your skin glimmered under the dim lighting of the room. their eyes were full of hunger, eye-fucking you as you grew shy under their intense gazes.

"s-stop staring at me like that." you whined, looking away as your face reddened at the attention.

you felt someone stroking your thighs, making you shudder as you looked in front of you, seeing caleb gripping the supple fat of your plush thighs.

"never knew you were such a dirty little slut, princess. all these years of knowing you... and to think you were capable of this? how naughty." caleb smirked, prying your thighs open as you gasped.

but, your lips would soon be sealed with zaynes as he kissed you roughly. his pillow-soft lips molded with yours, the smacking sound of saliva filled the room. a big, veiny hand came up to cup your cheek gently as he slid his tongue inside your mouth, licking the wet muscle before sucking it.

caleb used his thumb to spread your soaked folds apart, watching the lewd string of your arousal connect them both. your clit was puffy from being neglected, a sheen of wetness covering your cunt; making his mouth salivate. he leaned down, mouth hovering above your pussy.

"fuckin' beautiful." caleb swore under his breath, the warm air fanning above your aching cunt, giving you goosebumps. you moaned into zayne's mouth, feeling caleb's warm and wet tongue lick a fat stripe up your cunt.

"hope you didn't forget about us, cutie." rafayel pouted, licking at your nipple before wrapping his lips on the swollen pebble. sylus soon followed his footsteps, greedily kneading at your other tit before leaning down and pressing open-mouthed kisses on the soft mound.

meanwhile, xavier's lips were buried in your neck as he punished you with licks and bites on the expanse of your unmarked flesh.

"ngh~ xavier!" you whimpered against zayne's lips, the doctor now nibbling on your bottom lip.

he licked the side of your neck before softly clamping his teeth down, suckling and leaving a purplish bruise. as a soothing apology, xavier kitten-licked the fresh mark before moving down to your collarbone with wet kisses.

caleb continued to lap at your wet cunt, his saliva mixed with your juices dripped down his chin. the tip of his tongue circled your clit before suckling on it, making your legs tremble as a moan ripped out of your throat as you tried to close your legs.

"f-fuck.. hnghh.." you cried out, feeling him plant his palms on your inner thighs, forcing you to keep them open. caleb peered up at you from between your thighs, amethyst eyes glaring at you as his lips were glossy.

"don't interrupt me when i'm eating." he huskily spoke before slapping your dripping pussy, producing a wet 'pap!' noise. you yelped because of your increased sensitivity, not having enough time to recover before he dove back in.

with one last wet smooch, zayne released your lips before crawling down right next to his childhood friend. they exchanged a quick look, a mischievous smirk dancing on the colonel's lips.

"oh? was my tongue not enough for you, princess?" he lowly spoke, pinching your inner thigh as you bit your bottom lips.

"ahh... need z-zayne to help... please?" you begged, making him scoff. zayne couldn't help but grin with pride, your words stroking his ego a little.

"you heard her, move." zayne pushed caleb a little to squeeze himself between your legs, taking off his glasses before throwing them to the side. caleb, utterly betrayed, seethed with jealousy.

"so that's how you wanna play? fine." caleb accepted it as a challenge, but of course, he won't let neither of you get the last word.

zayne ignored his little childish outburst, digging in as his scarred hands rested on your lower stomach before his fingers stroked the expanse of it, gently moving to the side to hold your hips; caressing your smooth skin while tracing the faint stretch marks decorating it.

your puffy clit peaked out of your wet slit, making zayne lean down to press a wet smooch on it. you shuddered, mouth gaping open as your breathing quickened. zayne dragged his tongue up your sopping folds slow and languidly, the tip of his tongue digging into your wet pussy. the difference in how zayne and caleb ate you out was clear. caleb liked to eat your honeyed cunt like a starved dog, as if it was his last meal; unlike zayne, who liked to take his time and savor the taste of your sweet cunt.

"mhmmm.... zaynee~" you slurred his name, drunk in pleasure as he took his time to lap at your pussy, suckling and nibbling on your clit. amethyst eyes bore into the back of zayne's head, fuming with anger and envy.

caleb's fingers dug into your thighs, making you wince in pain but soon it deliciously simmered into the pleasure you were getting from zayne's tongue. the colonel snickered, watching how slick your pussy was from saliva and your juices, deciding to toy with you as revenge.

you felt the pads of caleb's middle and ring finger brush against your hole, probing the tight opening. you groan, feeling him push in both fingers at once.

"c-caleb!" you stuttered out, feeling him scissor his fingers in and out of your tight hole; the thickness and length of his digits rubbing you in all the right places.

suddenly, xavier roughly grabbed your jaw, squishing your chubby cheeks in his hands; forcing you to look at him. the expression on his face was dark, eyes clouded with lust and possessiveness.

"you seem to be enjoying yourself, dirty girl. you like having four other guys touch you, hm? this mouth is fucking filthy, maybe i should clean it, yeah?" he smirked, blue eyes sharply peering down at you.

"x-xav.." you were cut off by his grip tightening just a little more, making you wince.

"shhh... not another word, my dumb little girl. now i just wanna hear you gagging on my cock, 'kay?" xavier unbuckled his belt before unzipping his pants. he pulled the waistband of his boxers down, making his hard cock spring against his abs, your eyes widening at the sight.

his dick didn't have a lot of girth, but fuck it was long. xavier tapped the blush pink tip of his leaky cock on your lips, spreading his precum all over them like it was your own personal gloss. his thumb rested on your chin before pulling it down, forcing your mouth to open as he slid his cock in; the ash-blonde male let out a shaky sigh.

both sylus and rafayel continued to paw at your tits, biting and sucking on your nipples. with a lewd 'pop!', they released your swollen bud, eyeing their shared masterpiece as your tits were littered with hickies and trails of saliva.

"why don't you return the favor, sweetie? these cute little hands of yours seem empty." sylus gives you a toothy grin, bringing your hand to the tent forming on his pants, making you palm him through them. a deep groan escaped his lips as your hand stroked him through the rough fabric of his leather pants.

rafayel now sat on his knees by your other side, grabbing your wrist before bringing it up to his lips. he kissed the soft, warm flesh of your wrist; inhaling the scent of your skin as he let out a moan.

"you smell so fucking good. god, it's driving me insane." he breathed out, licking your pulse point before gently biting down on it. rafayel continued to sniff and kiss your wrist, using his other free hand to undo his pants and pull his aching cock out; stroking it as it throbbed in his palms. he teased his slit, spreading the sticky precum all over the tip.

your eager hands fumbled with sylus's belt as you tried to undo it, a little difficult because your mouth was still full of xavier's cock and forced you to maintain eye contact with him; as if looking at anyone else in this room would make his existence perish. but, sylus decided to be kind enough and help you because who is he to deny you?

you dug your hand inside his boxers, eyes widening as you realized that you couldn't even fully grasp his dick. he was fucking hung, thick and long, not lacking in any area. a guttural moan escaped his lips, feeling your soft fingers caressing his balls.

you took out his cock from the confinement of his boxers, stroking the shaft of it as your fingers teased the throbbing vein that ran on the underside curve of his dick. sylus threw his head back in pleasure, a soft whimper heard as his chest heaved.

"feels so fuckin' good, sweetie." he praised, your hand still lazily moving up and down his thick meat.

you felt the tip of zayne's nose nudging your clit, providing more stimulation as he continued his assault on your sopping wet cunt; his tongue flicking at a leisurely pace between your folds. caleb matched the rhythm of zayne's tongue, finger-fucking you with deep and hard strokes.

your moans were muffled by xavier's cock as he drove his hips into your mouth; your cheeks hollowing as you tried to not graze the skin of his dick with your teeth. you could hear the soft grunts and whimpers falling from his lips, eyes closed in bliss as he still had your cheeks firmly squished between his fingers.

"fuck yeah... you were made for this, takin' my cock so well." xavier breathed out, slender fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled your head closer.

you could feel the pressure of zaynes tongue slurping your clit along with caleb's fingers abusing your cervix collide. the familiar knot began to settle in your lower stomach, making your thighs tremble as your eyes screwed shut, toes curling in pleasure.

caleb could feel your walls contracting, you were definitely close and as much as he would love to see you cream all over his fingers; you've been cruelly unfair to him.

xavier lazily opened his eyes, cerulean orbs looking down at you half-lidded. he scoffed, watching your face flush as saliva trickled down the corner of your mouth. you opened your eyes briefly, he watched as they rolled back from the pleasure you were recieving from your childhood friends.

he pulled his cock out of your mouth, glaring down at you.

"nghhh~ p-please..!" you mumbled against his tip, crying out in pleasure as you tried to kick your leg forward to get away from the two men ravaging your pussy. however, both caleb and zayne pinned your legs down.

"focus on me." xavier scowled, and in one swift and hard thrust, his cock slid down your throat as far as you could take him. your eyes blew wide open, as you gagged on his dick. he was being nice earlier, but now you really pissed him off.

you had the nerve to think about those two when he was being kind enough to rinse that dirty mouth of yours with his cock?

"fuckin' ungrateful brat, ignoring me when i'm stuffing this filthy mouth full of my dick." he panted, fucking your face as tears streamed down your face and drool dripped down your chin.

zayne and caleb continued their combined attack, making you scream as your felt zayne sucking on your clit harder while caleb's fingers continued to rub against your walls at a faster pace.

suddenly, all sensation was lost as caleb pulled out his fingers while simultaneously grabbing onto the back of zayne's head with his free hand; yanking his hair back to unlatch his mouth from your weeping cunt. your eyes widened as tears streamed down your face, your hole pulsating at the feeling of nothing.

"only good girls get to cum." caleb darkly chuckled, zayne wincing in slight pain as he swatted the hand that yanked his hair.

"do that again and i'll fucking kill you." zayne murmured, making caleb roll his eyes.

"mmphh...!" your cries were muffled as xavier continued to use your throat as his personal fuckhole. he continued to shove his dick deeper, a small bulge forming on your throat as he pressed against it.

"there we go." xavier grinned sadistically, continuing to chase his high.

"h-hahhh... fuck, gonna cum." he panted, face flushing as he threw his head back, driving his hips forward. you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth, before he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you towards his lower stomach; shoving his cock deep in your throat one last time as your nose was buried in his soft pubes.

"shit.. shit- hnghh... take it- fuck, take it all." xavier moaned, his thick cum painting your throat as he came so much. your mouth became overloaded with his cum, leaking through the corner of your lips as you tried to swallow as much as you could. he pulled out, watching your gasp for air as you coughed.

"what do you say, slut?" he darkly asked.

"t-thank you." you breathed out, voice croaking.

"good girl." xavier smiled wickedly, stroking your bottom lip with his thumb, your tongue peeking out to lick it.

with the intense throat-fucking session with xavier and the cruel denial of your orgasm, you forgot about sylus who was still painfully hard in your hand.

"come on, sweetie, i know you could do better. want some help? yes, no, maybe so?" sylus whispered huskily, leaning down to bite your ear before kissing your temple.

"s-sorry.." you sniffled, still extremely sensitive.

"poor baby, don't cry. i'll help you." he cooed, grabbing your hand before spitting on it. the warm feeling of his spit made you shiver, he brought your hand to his cock; guiding you as you used your spit coated hand to grab his dick again.

this time, his hand firmly stayed on yours, tightening the grip. the silver haired male moaned, moving your joined hands up and down his throbbing cock; fucking your wet fist.

"hnghh... yeah, f-fuck..." sylus panted, thrusting his hips into the makeshift hole he made using your hand. his foxy eyes narrowed, bright ruby orbs rolling back as he rasped out swears from the absolute pleasure he was feeling.

rafayel hovered above your naked torso, his pretty cock resting on the valley between your tits. he grabbed his dick, giving it a few strokes, whimpering at his own touch before looking down at you.

"you're so beautiful." the lemurian whispered through labored breaths, face flushed as his mixed indigo eyes peeked at you through a half-lidded lust-filled stare.

rafayel swallowed harshly, guiding the tip of his leaky cock to your nipple; circling the hard bud as his precum coated it. your breath hitched, watching him use his hard cock to paint streaks of his precum all over the expanse of your hickey-littered chest.

he then spat on his hand, rubbing his spit all over his dick to lubricate it before settling it between your soft tits. using both of his hands, he squished your tits together to squeeze his warm cock between them. the whimper leaving his mouth was almost embarrassing from how loud and needy it was.

without a second more of hesitation, rafayel began to rut his hips forward, thrusting between your tits. he stroked your nipples before using his thumb and index finger, pinching the swollen buds and rolling them between his fingers.

"ahhh~ rafayel! f-feels good...!" you moaned, watching the blush pink tip of his cock peek through your cleavage every time he motioned his hips forward.

"hnghh... love your tits so much, cutie. so soft... so tasty and cute." he breathes out a small chuckled, eyebrows pinched in pleasure as he continued to thrust his cock between your boobs. his precum coated the valley of your tits, making it easier for him to slide between them.

while he continued his ministrations of using your titties to fuck himself, you focused on making sylus cum. you increased the pace of your hands, feeling his hand tightening the grip on yours, the vein on his cock pulsating as frequent deep whimpers left his lips. your thumb caught his slit, teasing it as he could feel his balls tighten.

"hmm... gonna make me cum, kitten." he groans, continuing to pump his cock using your hand until you felt the warm, thick wads of his cum dribble down your fingers. his hands slightly trembled, chest heaving as he tried to compose himself.

"fuck, that was... so hot." sylus chuckled, releasing your hand as he watched you bring your cum covered fingers to your mouth; licking his release as you hummed in approval.

he could feel himself get instantly hard again from such an erotic sight.

"you're mean, darling." he shook his head, making you grin.

you broke away your gaze from sylus, watching rafayel fall apart as he desperately groped your tits.

"h-hahhh... need y..-your help, cutie! please?" he pathetically begged, swallowing harshly as his hips stuttered. rafayel grabbed your wrist once more, smelling your scent and licking your flesh; groaning at how intoxicated you made him feel. the tip of his tongue traced your fingers before encasing them with his soft lips, sucking and biting on your digits; indigo eyes looking at you with a pleading look.

you smirked, knowing that it'd be easy to tease him. you were basically at all of their mercy, but knowing you still had just a little bit of power against him at least; it made your heart beat in your pussy.

"you poor thing, need my help?" you pouted, faux sympathy written all over your face. the others watched in amusement and rafayel's horny-fucked brain couldn't even have the dignity to feel embarrassed.

"p-please... promise i'll be good, so good." he breathed out and you smiled in satisfaction, sitting up before pushing him back. rafayel now sat on the mattress, hungry eyes watching you sit back on your knees.

you leaned down, squishing his cock between your tits before sliding them up and down. rafayel's eyes screwed shut in pleasure, countless of goans and whimpers slipping out of his tongue; showering you endlessly with praise.

"y-yeah cutie, just like that... nghhh~ gonna make me cum." rafayel shamelessly moaned, mouth gape open as his breathing was uneven. you stuck your tongue out, lapping at his tip before wrapping your lips around it; suckling on it as if it was a lollipop.

you rubbed your tits together on his shaft, using your mouth to suck the rest. your drool trickled down from his swollen tip to the squishy tight slit created by your tits; making his cock slide with ease. the sounds produced was obscene, shlick shlick shlick. rafayel could feel his body tremble in pleasure, stroking your hair as his balls twitched.

"gonna cum! h-hahhh... p-please, cutie!" his lips were swollen from how much he bit them. soon enough, his hot cum was painting your tits, dripping down your nipples as his cock throbbed.

"fuck.." rafayel sighed, stroking your cheek as he glanced at what he did.

mentally clicking a picture to remember for the rest of his life when he fucks his fist to the thought of you.

"better?" you innocently batted your eyelashes, looking up at him with a dazed expression.

"you little minx." his breath hitched as you turned your face to the side, catching his thumb between your lips to give it a small suck before biting it playfully.

"you seem to be enjoying yourself a little too much, brat." you heard a daring voice break the moment, looking up to see a mean caleb glowering down at you.

you swallowed harshly, looking at rafayel for some help, but the cheeky lemurian only grinned at you; eyes twinkling with trouble as he moved away.

"you like being used like this, don't you? have you forgotten who's in control here?" now, xavier came into view as he scoffed, taking in your pitiful state.

"i think it's time that you learn your place." caleb suddenly pushed you towards the ash-blonde haired male, making you gasp as you were now sitting on his waist; hands pressed against his bare chest. you could feel the curve of xavier's hard cock press against your ass, making you unknowingly grind against the throbbing length of it to seek for some friction.

"tch, look at you. you're like a fuckin' bitch in heat." xavier snickers, holding down your hips with a bruising grip, making you wince. you felt the tip of his dick slip between your wet folds, his hands maneuvering your hips to help you glide on him. a breathy whimper leaves your lips, feeling his sticky tip caress your achy clit.

you hear the clinking sound of caleb's belt being undone and in what felt like mere seconds; you could feel his warm body heat radiating behind you. his lips grazed your nape, the tip of his nose gliding on your skin. he left wet kisses all over your neck and shoulder, trailing down the deep passage of your spine; making you arch forwards from your increased sensitivity.

xavier on the other hand fondled your tits, pinching and twisting your nipples. his fingers moved down, brushing against your hips. suddenly, you felt his tip prodding your tight hole, making you gulp.

they were all so fucking big and thick, you were wondering how you'd take them all. god, you couldn't even use process of elimination to figure out who'd be less painful to take in.

however, all that thinking flew straight out of your ears as xavier planted his feet on the mattress; harshly thrusting upwards into you. a croaky moan ripped out of your throat, your head lolling back to caleb's chest as you breathed heavy.

although xavier wasn't that thick, he was long as fuck; he couldn't even bottom out fully inside your cunt. you could feel his tip kissing your cervix. while caleb continued to place bite marks and lick at his work, xavier paid no mind to his counterpart; fucking you at a brutal pace.

"hnghh~ a-aahh... xav! w-wait!" you tried to slow him down, but that only made him go faster. he grabbed your hands which were resting on his lower stomach, pulling you forwards as you fell on his chest; away from caleb's touch.

the colonel scowled at the loss of your skin, glaring at the ash-blonde male in front of him. xavier didn't care, his hand finding purchase to the supple fatty flesh on your ass, spanking you hard as you yelped in pain and pleasure. your eyes squeezed shut, trying to form coherent words.

"you know i hate it when you don't look at me while i'm fucking you. open your eyes, y/n." he tapped your face, forcing you to look down at him. you bit your lips, trying to prevent another moan from flying out of your mouth, feeling xavier's cock rub your wet velvety walls just right.

his tip continued to bruise your cervix, his thrusts were deep and hard as he made sure you felt every inch of him in you. a ring of cream began to form at the base of his shaft, your juices dripping down to coat his heavy balls as you felt your thighs burning.

"hope you didn't forget about me, princess." caleb whispered, hovering behind you as you felt him grope your ass cheek. your eyes widened as you felt him spread them, his index finger gently grazing your other untouched tight hole.

"nghh.. wait, caleb! h-hahhh, never did it there before." you confessed, making him chuckle.

"well then, i'm glad to be your first here. don't worry, i'll make sure you're ready for me." caleb's words did seem genuine but rather because of the fact that he was about to touch you and feel you somewhere no one ever has.

you nodded at his words, too fucked out to even care about anything else. you were more focused on cumming, your cunt puffy and weeping from being neglected the last time your orgasm was denied; thanks to caleb.

so, you definitely didn't wanna get on his bad side again.

caleb spat on his fingers, bring it down to your ass before spreading the sticky spit on your hole. you soon felt his wet digit push through the tight ring of muscle, making you wince in pain as you breathed heavily.

"f-fuck... hurts.." you whined, but it would soon dissipate as xavier continued to drill into your pussy, distracting you from the pain of having caleb's finger in your ass.

it took some time but eventually the colonel was able to finger-fuck your ass with two of his fingers, meanwhile, xavier thrusted up into your leaky pussy that sheathed his throbbing cock. the ash-blonde haired male rubbed your clit to provide some more stimulation, your body trembling once you felt caleb withdrawing his fingers from inside you.

caleb sat on his knees, spreading your ass once more before leaning in, the tip of his tongue dragging from where you and xavier were connected; all the way up to your ass hole.

"ah! caleb!" you cried out, feeling him land a glob of spit on the tight hole before pulling away. caleb grabbed the base of his cock, his tip was a reddish-purple; angrily weeping precum as he stroked himself a few times. you could hear him groan behind you before feeling his wet tip squish against your hole.

"c'mere." caleb commanded, a hand coming down to gently grab your jaw, pulling you back to him. he tilts your head up, making you look into his eyes; leaning down to press his lips on yours in a searing kiss.

that's when you felt the burning stretch of his fat tip pushing past the tight ring of muscle in your ass, a pained cry leaving your lips, only to be muffled as he swallowed it; not letting go of your lips. tears pricked your eyes, feeling him slowly feed his cock into your tight ass, inch by inch.

the kiss with caleb was rough and messy, full of tongue and spit. the wet smacking sound of his lips clashing with yours as he drinks in your moans was so erotic. as his cock was now thrusted deep in your ass, he was kind enough to let you adjust to his size. his hand still firmly grabbing your jaw in place to not break away from the kiss while the other played with your tits.

meanwhile, xavier continued to give you nice slow and soft thrusts in your cunt, paying close attention to stimulate your clit. you were so full of both of their cocks, your mind was blank.

all you thought of was dick, dick, dick.

it was embarrassing and greedy, how full they made you feel, how good the burn felt as they both stretched out your holes.

it was definitely a pornographic sight.

as you grew used to having both of them inside you, caleb was the first to quicken his pace, pistoning his hips into you as his cock began to rub your walls. following in suit, xavier tried to match his rhythm, fucking your cunt with more rigor. your mouth gaped wide open, unable to respond to caleb's kiss anymore as you were too cock drunk.

"a-a..ahh! nghh~ feels so good!" you cried out in pleasure, feeling them both rub against the thin barrier that separated the two. you could feel your lower stomach churn in pleasure, your eyes rolling back as you began to drool from the corner of your mouth.

"what a dumb little slut, fucked your brains out already?" you heard xavier darkly chuckle, pinching your clit as you yelped at the sudden sharp sensation.

"p-please... wanna cum so bad! x..-xav.." your throat was parched as you tried to control your breathing, your lower stomach tightening as you could feel the familiar build-up of your orgasm.

"tch, you're moaning his name when i'm stuffing you full of my dick? where are your manners, pipsqueak?" caleb's tone was gravely, glaring at you with a look that could only make your knees grow weak, his grip on your jaw tightening just a little to remind you he was still here; balls deep in you.

"s-sor.. hgnhh.. sorry! please, c..caleb.." you stammered out, feeling the alternating push and withdraw of their cocks syncing together; turning your brain into mush.

displeased with your switch up, xavier yanked you forwards by your arm, squishing your cheeks together.

"you deceitful vixen, running to him when you don't get what you want? i'm the one taking care of this slutty pussy and you have the nerve to beg him? the fuck is wrong with you." xavier seethed with anger, his hips bucking into yours with more intensity; making you wail out in pleasure.

"i'm sor-" you tried to helplessy apologize again, only to be pulled back by caleb; the start of a tug-of-war as if you were a toy.

"don't fucking apologize to him, princess. you're mine, so when i say that you can cum, then you cum." caleb whispered, making you shiver as you sniffled out a cry.

"please.. fuck, please- i can't! t..too much.." you whimpered, making them both scoff.

"you can take it." both caleb and xavier sneered, making you whine.

"ungrateful brat, wanting us both and now you're saying it's too much?" xavier slapped your clit, making you jolt. you felt caleb bite down on your shoulder, the cold metal of his dog tag pressed against your warm, flushed skin.

you felt them twitch inside you, throbbing thick cocks rubbing against your insides. caleb and xavier continued to slide in and out of you, making your body grow hot.

"fuck, fuck, please! s-so close..!" you breathed out, feeling xavier's thrusts grow sloppy as with one final hard thrust; he emptied his balls inside you. his thick, warm cum filled your cunt as you quivered, his hips still rolling back in you.

your head was spinning, both of their scents were intoxicating. their hands were groping, slapping and stroking every bit of skin exposed to their lustful eyes. both caleb and xavier's thrusts held no mercy, battering your cunt and ass as your thighs felt like jelly. you squealed, feeling your walls tightening as you desperately squirmed, trying to lift yourself off and escape.

"where are you going? don't run away, i'm not done yet." caleb yanked you back to him. caleb's grunts and groans got louder by your ear, his arm wrapping around your stomach to hold you down in place; his cock fully in your ass as he shot fat wads of his sticky cum.

before you could process anything, they sadistically exchanged a cruel smirk, pulling out of you as your holes gushed out an obscene amount of their mixed cum.

"n-no! no! hnghh.. w-why.." you sobbed at the loss of contact, the fullness of their cocks gone as your orgasm was destroyed for the second time.

"since we weren't enough, why don't you go ask the others." caleb pushed you to the side, making you collapse on the mattress as tears ran down your cheek.

you looked up and noticed sylus and rafayel looking down at you, an unwavering glint pinned on your ruined form as they waited for your next move. it was humiliating, how you were begging them to let you cum; but it was too much.

you were going insane, needing some relief.

you weakly crawled to sylus and rafayel, sniffling as your body began to shake. your thighs were dripping with xavier and caleb's cum, your messy holes pulsing and aching.

"sy.. raf.. please, make me cum. i-i... i promise i'll be a good girl." you desperately pleaded, fat teardrops running down your flushed cheeks; making them both groan as your pathetic state only made their cocks harden.

"poor little kitten, they were so mean to you, weren't they?" sylus cooed as he wiped your tears away, tone honeyed with gentleness but with an undertone of mischief.

you nodded helplessly, leaning into his touch as you nuzzled your cheeks into his palm. you kissed the inside of his hand, licking the warm and rough skin.

just like a kitten.

sylus grinned at your antics, amused at how compliant you were. however, he wasn't that mean; he'd humor you.

"need us to make her feel better, cutie?" rafayel teasingly spoke, long fingers running across your slit as you whimpered; the tip of his digits circling your clit.

"mmphh, y-yes... please.." you bit down on your lip, tasting the metallic taste of blood.

"alright, sweetie. we'll help you." sylus chortled, leaning against the headboard. he grabbed your hips, spinning you around in one fluid motion, your back now facing him. he then lifted you up before placing you on his waist, as if you weighed nothing.

you yelped as sylus hooked his beefy arms under your thighs, pulling them up to your head; putting you in a mean full nelson. the sudden pressure and stretch made your cunt gush out more of the cum that was fucked into you earlier, soaked pussy lips spread apart as you were now exposed and on display in a very vulnerable position.

"s-sylus!" you shyly meeked, making him hum.

"what? don't be selfish, sweetie. you know the fish is an artist, let him see this masterpiece." sylus bit your earlobe.

rafayel settled between sylus's legs, now in front of you as he shamelessly stared at your messy folds. he salivated as it took everything in him to not just lean down and makeout with your tempting cunt.

"stop lookin'." you whined, feeling how intense his gaze was. however, rafayel just gave you a breathy chuckle.

"why not? she's sooooo pretty." he licked his lips, flashing you a boyish grin, making your heart leap into your throat.

the lemurian lowered his head, pressing gentle kisses on your soft stomach, dragging his lips up your navel until he reached your tits. he sighed in bliss, smoothering his face between your boobs as he kissed and licked the mounds of flesh.

his dick rested on top of your pussy, sticky tip parting your folds as he rutted his hips; sliding the length of his cock against your slick covered cunt. his tip repeatedly nudged your clit, rubbing it as you moaned in bliss from the heavenly contact.

your hand found purchase in his dusky, purple hair; carding your fingers through his soft locks. you tugged on his hair, making him moan as the vibration rumbling from his lips were felt on your nipple as he sucked; making you choke out a moan.

the silver haired male kissed your temple, smiling.

"come on, sweetie, need you to hold your legs up for me so i can take care of you." his voice was groggy, releasing your legs before grabbing your hands to help you lift them as you obeyed.

"there you go, good girl." sylus praised, grabbing the base of his cock, swiping it a few times between your messy folds, nudging his tip on your hole. you moaned at the feel of his cock deliciously rubbing against your aching pussy.

"p-please... nghh- no more teasing." you were breathless, feeling rafayel once again capture your nipple in his mouth, suckling as if his purpose in life was to worship your tits.

"if you say so, sweetie." sylus compliantly shoved his inches in you, feeding your greedy hole his hard dick. your jaw dropped, eyes rolling back as his fat girth stretched your cunt; sliding in with ease because of your arousal along with xavier and caleb's shared cum.

rafayel watched your hole eagerly swallow up sylus's cock, gulping at the sight as his dick was painfully hard; globs of precum dripping onto your clit.

"so tight even after all that? how cute." sylus lets out a huff, slowly moving his hips upwards to give you some slow and deep strokes; tip squishing against your cervix.

"h-hnghh... fuck... feels so good, sy." you moaned, turning your head to the side to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. he happily accepted, sucking on your bottom lip before swiping his tongue against it for permission to explore your mouth.

his hands firmly grabbed your hips before planting his feet on the mattress, grounding both himself and you before pounding upwards into your dripping cunt. your mouth flew open from his sudden shift in pace, and he took that chance to shove his tongue in your mouth; exploring every cavern and crevice. both of your tongues mingled and tangled, sucking and licking as drool trickled down your chin.

"fuck, cutie... you look so hot like this; it's tempting. i can't let the crow have all the fun now, can i?" rafayel's fingers stroked your thigh, leaning down to kiss your plush thighs, gently biting the soft skin.

"ahhh... raf.." you whimpered, biting your lip as you feel his tip poke your ass hole. you released one of your legs, pressing your foot on his chest to stop him.

"hm?" the lemurian tilts his head in confusion at your sudden action, stopping his advances.

"n-not there... need you and sy at the same time.." you licked your dry lips, words barely coming out as a whisper. rafayel's eyes widened at your request, sylus's ruby orbs mirroring the same bewilderment.

"naughty girl, you want us both in this sweet cunt of yours? you think you can handle it?" sylus teased, a cocky smirk painted on his lips.

you nodded frantically, your foot running down rafayel's chest as you looked up at him with a cheeky smile; eyes barely open as you gazed at him with a dazed look.

"i can handle it, p-promise." you assured, making rafayel grin.

"well you heard her, crow. make some space." he grabbed the base of his shaft, now aligning his cock with your hole that was already occupied with sylus's thick cock. the silver haired male scoffed, rolling his eyes before momentarily stopping his thrusts; letting rafayel ease into you.

a screamish-moan ripped out of your throat, your walls clamping instinctively on both of their cocks; both men grunting in response as the space became tighter. your eyes swelled with tears, the salty warm fluid streaming down your cheeks as you tried to adjust to the painful stretch of having two giant cocks lodged in your cunt at the same time.

"shh... there, there, pretty girl. it's okay." rafayel tried to console you, his words barely making it to a full sentence before his voice betrayed him; a strangled whimper slipping off his tongue.

"i gotcha, sweetie." sylus mumbled against the skin of your nape, his hand snaking around your waist, fingers finding your clit as he began to rub soothing circles on the bundle of nerves to distract you.

the both of them allowed you to adjust to their cocks, providing additional stimulation to help you relax so that your walls aren't as tense. rafayel's teeth grazed your nipples, teasing and flicking the pebbled buds while sylus's fingers worked their magic to affectionately pinch and stroke your clit.

"nghh~ feels good... hnnghh- need more." you whined, moving your hips on your own accord, wincing as you could feel both of their dicks rubbing against your velvety wet walls.

"ya sure you're ready, cutie? we have all night." rafayel let out a shaky laugh, half-joking.

"moveee." you bucked your hips, making sylus chuckle.

"someone's impatient, not that i mind." with that being said, sylus once again began to slowly thrust into your pussy. he grunted, feeling his cock graze against rafayel's, the sensation feeling a little weird but he ignored that fact.

rafayel moaned at the sudden friction, his hand wrapping around your calf to push it by your head; mirroring your other leg which you still held up obediently. rafayel leaned closer, pressing against you before latching his lips onto your; kissing you senselessly.

you moaned into his mouth, feeling the both of them pistoning into your tight, dripping hole. rafayel hissed as he felt your fingers tug his hair, angling your jaw to deepend the kiss.

the room was full of wet skin slapping followed by the lewd sound of your pussy gushing out your juices; coating their cocks in your arousal as it dribbled down to their balls. rafayel's lips continued to suck and kiss at your swollen and bitten once; his tongue suckling with yours before pulling away as a string of saliva connected you two.

he pushed himself off of you, bringing the leg he held for you towards him. he kissed your ankle, running the tip of his tongue down to your calf before kitten-biting the flesh of it.

"mmphh... you taste so fucking sweet." rafayel swore under his breath, thrusting his cock deeper into your weeping hole. sylus followed in suit, both of their tips bruising your cervix.

"shit... you're taking us both so well, sweetie." sylus praised, now matching the movement of his fingers that were once leisurely rubbing your clit to the pace of his thrusts.

in seconds, everything shifted.

their gazes darkened, clouded with need and hunger. you squealed, feeling both sylus and rafayel thrusting in and out of your cunt with no mercy as their movement didn't falter.

not once.

they were so perfectly synced together, as if they were one.

"a-ahhhh~... f-fuck! please, please, please! so close... god! i'm gonna cum!" you choked on your tears as you sobbed, the pleasure you were feeling was intense.

your eyes rolled back, toes curled as you were gasping for air. both men grunted and moaned; focusing on chasing their high.

"how bad you want it, kitten?" sylus groaned, fucking his hips upward as you whimpered.

"so bad, fuck, need it so bad!" you desperately answered, convinced that you wouldn't survive another ruined orgasm.

"yeah? ask nicely, where are your manners, cutie?" rafayel snickered, driving his hips into your; pelvis meeting yours with brutal thrusts that made your body jerk.

"h-hahhhh... oh my god...- please, please, please. let me cum? i promise i'll be good, so fuckin' good. please raf... sy... need it so bad." you threw out every last ounce of dignity within yourself to beg them with your last bit of voice.

both men, clearly satisfied with your answer, feed your cunt with their cocks using an unforgiving pace of thrusts. rafayel's hips were a bit sloppier, but they were fast and needy, like he was scared that you'd disappear. in contrast, sylus's pace was slow but his thrusts were hard and deep; making sure his tip met your cervix with every movement of his hips.

"fuck, fuck, fuck..." the silver haired male let out a guttural moan, eyes screwed shut as he could feel his cock pulsate; vein twitching as blood flowed with adrenaline.

rafayel shamelessly moaned on top of you, panting like a dog as he continued to fuck his dick into your wet hole.

"open your mouth." he demanded and too fucked out to even decipher his intentions, you obeyed. rafayel spat into your mouth, the thick glob of spit coating your tongue before you swallowed it.

"good girl." rafayel grunted, feeling his balls tightening as he was close to cumming as well.

your stomach knotted, the build-up of your orgasm even more stronger as your gummy walls clamped down on their cocks viciously.

"auughh~ i'm cumming! fuck.. hnghh..." you choked out a moan, eyes screwed shut as hot liquid squirted out of your cunt; coating rafayel's lower abdomen. you creamed on their cocks, body twitching as you feel both of them creampie you; shoving their sticky and gooey cum deep into your womb.

your juices and their cum dripped down your thigh, coating sylus's balls as you could hear his breathing become uneven from the aftermath of such intense pleasure. rafayel collapsed on top of you, still mindful to not crush you with his entire weight.

"so tired..." he childishly whined, biting your nipple playfully as you huffed.

"you're heavy, raf, get off." you grumbled, making him pout as he smoothered his face between your boobs once again.

"nah, you're too soft." he argued, making you roll your eyes.

"i feel sticky and gross.." you mumbled, noticing how the room was a bit more quieter. xavier was passed out on the couch and caleb left the room a few minutes ago for whatever reason; zayne watching the whole scene intently from the edge of the bed.

you locked eyes with him, noticing the slight blush on his face. he cleared his throat, looking away.

"perhaps a hot shower might be nice." he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"yeah, it does sound tempting." you hummed.

"need some help, sweetie?" sylus offered, but his tone had a hint of mischief.

"i got it." zayne suddenly spoke up, walking over to where you were sandwhiched between rafayel and sylus. he pushed the groggy lemurian over, making him groan.

"hey! i was comfy." rafayel complained, making the doctor roll his eyes.

"it's my place, surely i know my bathroom better." sylus snickered, making zayne narrow his eyes.

"if i could perfom hundreds of heart surgeries, i'm sure i can figure out how to work your damn shower." zayne snarked back with an equal amount of bite, making the silver haired male smirk.

"touche, she's all yours, doc." sylus chuckled.

zayne sighed, scooping you up in his arms before heading into the bathroom; locking the door behind him.

"you look... fucked." he blurted out, making you laugh at his dry comment.

"wow, thanks, i didn't know." you playfully rolled your eyes, making him crack a small smile.

"that was... intense. after you shower, i could get you some painkillers to help with any soreness. can you stand?" zayne asked with a flicker of concern in his hazel orbs, settling you on your legs and lightly loosening his grip; only for your knees to wobble as you held onto his bicep for support.

"i guess not." he answered his own question, making you chuckle.

"mind helping me out, doc?" you asked, peering up at him with a girly smile. zayne felt his heart skip a beat, heat creeping up to his neck.

it's not like this would be his first time being intimate with you, but you still made him feel incredibly nervous.

"if you insist, then i don't mind." his tone was soft and gentle. you smiled at his agreement, taking off his glasses. you leaned onto the sink for support, watching him undo his tie before unbuttoning his shirt; revealing his chiseled chest.

fuck, his physique was like a greek god.

he undid his belt, zipping down his pants before kicking them off together with his boxers; his cock springing to life as his pinkish tip was a little swollen while dripping with precum. you leaned forwards, now pressed against him as your bare chest rubbed against his.

zayne groaned at the intimate skinship, his cock rubbing against your soft thighs. your hand reached down, grabbing the shaft as you experimentally gave it a few strokes.

"let me take care of you." your voice was a bare whisper, making him shudder. but, to your surprise, he shook his head.

"no, you don't have to do this for me, i'll get myself off or something. just ignore it, okay?" zayne tried to convince you, but it only made you frown.

"but i want to... i've been wanting to feel you the whole night." you pressed soft kisses along his jawline, making him swallow harshly as you saw his adam's apple bob.

"then let me make it up to you since that bastard pulled me away from you. i'll make you feel good, baby." he lifted your hips, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist as his cock was now nestled between your folds.

he walked inside the shower, pulling the glass doors to close it before turning on the water; adjusting the temperature. you cupped his face, pulling him closer to yours to seal his lips with yours.

zayne moaned into your mouth, molding his lips with yours as he softly kneaded your ass. your tongue poked his bottom lip, seeking for entry which he happily granted. you kissed him with a needy vigor, sucking his tongue as you stroked his wet jet black hair.

pulling away breathlessly, zayne looked down at you with swollen lips. he attacked your neck with kisses, making your whimper as you felt his tongue graze your flesh, softly tracing the hickies left on your skin with the tip of his tongue. he moved down to your tits, sucking your nipples as your hand held the back of his head; pushing him closer as you moaned.

"mhmm... feels so good, zayne." you praised, watching him tug your nipple between his teeth before giving it a deserving suck. he soon lets go of your swollen bud, hazel eyes meeting yours.

"i'll be gentle, okay?" he assured, making your chest feel warm and fuzzy as you nodded; wrapping your arms around his neck.

zayne grabbed the base of his cock, tapping your clit a few times, making you jolt. he smirked at how responsive your body was, aligning his tip with your hole. with a firm grip on your hips, he begin to sink you down on his hard cock, slowly shoving his inches inside you.

your mouth formed an 'o' shape as your eyes shut tight, feeling full as he bottomed out.

"s-so full.." you moaned, feeling him slowly thrust inside of you as the curve of his dick molded so perfectly in your wet walls. you clenched down on him, making him grunt at the sudden tightness.

"you feel so good, babygirl." zayne whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek and temple before sliding you up and down his dick. you rested your head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent as you kissed his neck.

this felt so new compared to what happened just minutes ago. the others fought over you like you were some piece of meat to claim; but zayne treated you like you were made of glass.

he was so gentle with his touches and strokes, you could almost cry.

zayne's tip nudged your cervix with every push of his hips, now having you pressed against the wall to have a better hold of you so that he can drive his hips into yours faster. your cunt weeped with arousal, gummy walls coated with his precum.

his thrusts were sharp yet slow, making sure it applied the right amount of pressure and friction to make you feel like you were seeing stars. his balls slapped against your ass, your nipple between his lips.

"hnghh.. love your cock, zyane. g-gonna cum.." you let out a shaky breath, clenching down on him as your increased sensitivity betrayed your body, not allowing you to hold onto your orgasm for too long.

"it's okay, baby. you can cum." he grunted against the wet skin of your tits and you didn't realize how intimate and erotic the whole sight was.

a choked out whimper escaped your throat, your cunt clamping down on him as you squirted all over his cock. your body twitched and trembled at your orgasm, panting as you leaned against his chest.

"shit, please... i need you to fill me up." you begged and that's all it took him to bust a fat load of his thick, hot cum inside your hole.

"fuck.." he swore and god it sounded so hot coming from his mouth.

the bathroom was filled with the sounds of uneven breathing and the running showerhead.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

you stirred awake, groaning as you now laid on your back. sunlight beamed into your room, making your eyes burn as you tried to crack one of them.

"fuckin' hell.." you cursed under your breath, adjusting your vision as you sat up on your bed. your head was swirling as you held it in pain, wincing.

it was all a dream.

you slapped yourself, not believing how delusional you became to believe that whatever the hell that was could be reality.

"yeah, i'm losing it." you sighed deeply, scratching your head. you tapped your phone screen, reading the time as your eyes blew wide open.

fuck, it was well past noon, meaning you missed your morning classes already.

"you're kidding me." you huffed out in annoyance, leaning back on the headboard as you unlocked your phone.

you saw the many, many, many missed calls from your best friend; making you snort.

as you swiped through your applications, your eyes fell on the love and deepspace icon. memories of your strange dream replayed fresh in your memory, your body weirdly aching.

you brushed off those thoughts, clicking the icon as you wondered if infold fixed those weird bugs and glitches by now. you were surprised to see the app back into shape, running in good quality as you logged in with ease.

"huh, weird." you mumbled to yourself, calmly collecting your daily’s.

until you realized you had five unread messages.

hey pipsqueak, hope you're not still mad at me for being a bit mean to ya. i'll cook for you when you come back :p

hope you're not missing me too much, sweetie. come back and i'll take you for a joyride.

cutieeee! i miss you already :C come back soon, okay? need my personal pillow back.

if your throat is still sore, come back so we can have hotpot together. it'll be my treat.

have you taken those painkillers like i told you to?

your jaw was wide open, not believing your eyes. these texts seemed way too real to be automated.

"what the fuck." you quickly opened your front camera, only to see the faint purplish marks decorating your neck.

holy shit, all of that was real.

a smirk etched on your face as you quickly tapped the facetime app, ringing the only person you knew could stand this news and have a silver of faith in you to be convinced.

"finally decided to call me back? thought you died in your sleep or something." your best friend nagged at you, making you chuckle.

"you won't believe what happened last night." you giggle, making her roll her eyes at you.

"let me guess, you had a dream about all the lads guys fucking your brains out." she responded with a bored voice.

"even better."

---

a/n: hehe, if you made it to the end, kuddos to you cuz rereading through this was a pain the ass. if you couldn't tell by now, this was very self-indulgent, so i got carried away. hope you guys enjoyed it tho!!

[yeahyoudosuck]

my favourite abby fics!

THESE ARE ALL NSFW! MEN DNI, this is strictly wlw!

none of these works are mine! all credit goes to their original writers! if you like their stuff make sure to give them a follow<3

part two

abby eating reader out on their period “you think a little bit of blood is gonna keep me away from this pussy? no fucking way.” -enough said- BUT this does have oral sex with reader receiving on their period so beware! (reader!receiving)

doctor!abby — this one is pretty long and has a lot of build up but i loved it and honestly long fics have a special place in my heart <3 (reader!receiving)

reader uses safe word during sex with abby — this one is probably my favourite on this list! it is so so sweet, so true to her character, so raw and SO beautifully written! 🤍 WARNING: the reader has a panic attack in it so read carefully if this triggers you! (reader!receiving)

abby wanting to get reader pregnant — not sure i would call this your typical ‘breeding kink’ fic as it’s very domestic and sweet and less rough than some others but i LOVE it and abby is so on character<3 (reader!receiving)

in denial abby anderson - part 1 — i loved this (reader!giving)

in denial abby anderson - part 2 — I LOVED THIS EVEN MORE. im not saying anything except read it! so hot (reader!giving)

eating abby out while shes studying — short but a classic! (reader!giving)

riding abbys abs — anything with abbys muscles and im sold. short but sweet<3 (reader!receiving)

abby loses her match — footballer!abby, this one is pretty rough so if you like that you would DEFINITELY love this! (reader!receiving)

manny walks in on you and abby — my final recommendation, its very cute and funny! :) (reader!receiving)

make sure to read warnings before reading! thank you and happy pride month!🤍

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 || 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary_ Right after Lucy breaks up with Harry, he is left with an extra ticket to Iceland, so he invites the most unexpected person to go with him: you, Lucy’s sister. Only to return to New York and learn that he knocked you up.

warnings_ age gap (unspecified), spoilers for the movie, pregnancy, angst, they fuck and then it’s slowburn, fluff, Lucy and reader kinda have beef (but they love each other), NO PROOFREAD, BEWARE (I’ll edit grammar and blah blah later okay?)

Notes_ just please listen in order while reading:

1. Relationships

2. So Close

3. Guess You Could Say I’m In Love

4. My Baby (Got Nothing At All)

♫ ♪ the worst playlist 4 Pedro

✰ Index (+ fics here)

୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ───୨ৎ

It was the perfect night of extremely late spring, when it was not cold anymore but you still needed a light jacket. You had been out, leaning against the railing of a bar, smoking and looking at the passing city.

You heard the door opening and when you turned to look over your shoulder, you spotted Harry: your sister’s new boyfriend.

He also noticed you and barely smiled at you before walking closer. He was on a phone call, something about a meeting and appointment.

“Work call?” you asked after he hung up.

“Yeah. Lucy didn’t mind” Harry said and you allowed yourself to groan and roll your eyes at his words.

“Let me guess. She was talking with John?” you asked, and Harry seemed embarrassed, but he disguised it so well that he nodded.

“That woman is all talk-talk and no moves”

“I guess you’re her-“

“Lucy is my sister” you revealed to the man. “Well, my half-sister”

“I see, and… Why do you say that? About her?” He asked, making you sigh.

“You’re dating her. I don’t want to spoil your relationship” Harry chuckled, he stepped closer, also leaning on the railing like you.

“Swear I won’t tell…”

“Pinky promise?” You offered your pinky finger and he twirled his around yours. You spotted his gold ring and you finally confirmed that he was actually very rich.

“Pinky promise” he swore.

“Lucy claims she wants to secure a partner with money rather than loving them. But I know she yearns for sickening love”

Harry as the smart man you knew he was, understood quickly. Didn’t say anything, but you knew he would start thinking about your words eventually.

“What about you, kid? Do you want sickening love?” He asked and you crossed your arms, looking down at your boots.

“I once experienced it, as a teenager. But now… Not so sure. I don’t know if I have it in me anymore”

“We find it…”

“Childish” you finished for him.

Both of you smiled at each other.

…

You weren’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing that NYU hired you to be an advisor just weeks before the spring semester was over. With so much free time, you found yourself going to dance classes for adults and getting a volunteer job at your local library.

It was early in the morning when you had just finished getting ready to go to the library when your phone vibrated.

An unidentified number appeared on the screen and you debated whether to answer or not. You decided to pick it up, since it could be related to work.

“Hello?”

“It’s Harry…”

You frowned confused. Why was your sister’s boyfriend calling you? You had barely spoken to him before and after the night at the bar.

“Harry, hi. How did you get my number?”

“Your number is on the staff members list of NYU” he said and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Right. Well, How can I help you, dear?” You had no idea why he was calling. Lucy and you weren’t as close as it appeared.

She was the big sister and since your father preferred your mother before hers, it was not a secret in the family that you slowly became the priority.

You had just finished college unlike Lucy, who was a dropout. You barely had ex-boyfriends and couldn’t care less about dating, compared to her.

“I know this might sound weird…” he started, making you press the cell phone harder against your ear and cheek. “Lucy just broke up with me and we were supposed to take a flight to Iceland in the evening. And… She’s gone. I have this extra ticket and since you two have the same last name- I thought…”

You stopped listening to whatever he kept saying. Only focusing on the first part.

What would you do in Iceland with your sister’s ex-boyfriend? You didn’t know.

Then you thought about Harry himself. You barely knew him, he was wealthy, and apparently perfect according to Lucy.

Wouldn’t he prefer to take a model or fitness queen with him? And beyond that, Did he tolerate you enough to invite you?

“Harry, Are you sure? Cause-“

“Please, say yes. I can get you a room of your own and-“

“Perfect. I’ll send my driver to pick you up at 4:00. In the meantime I’ll put your name on the ticket” Harry said with evident optimism. “You have a passport, Right?”

“Yes, I have a passport” you confirmed with a smile.

“Great, I’ll see you later, kid” and he hung up.

You sighed, confused, happy, and overwhelmed. You weren’t sure why you said yes, you weren’t even sure if you completely liked Harry and you definitely weren’t telling anyone.

You went to grab your passport with the fear of finding it wasn’t expired. And when you saw it was all under control, you smiled.

It was a trip to the unknown. But you weren’t scared. In fact, you were curious about knowing better Harry and why Lucy broke up with him.

…

He was actually perfect. Harry went straight to see if the luxurious hotel in Reykjavík could give him another room for you. To his dismay, nothing could be done, but you assured him it was okay.

Sharing the same bed was not an issue. Not when the bed itself was bigger than any bed you had seen before.

He booked a private trip to walk inside a volcano and then, he rented a private spot in the Blue Lagoon, where hundreds of tourists waited to get a relaxing time in the waters but you two passed through all of them like nothing, as if Harry owned the place.

It was a medium-sized pool with amazing views of the mountains covered in green fawn and the gloominess of the surrounding water. You felt like a child, like a Nordic mermaid.

Harry had been nice, giving you hundreds of compliments and sharing light talk. He was very handsome, you noticed when he entered the pool. He had two scars in his thighs and you wanted to ask about it but you didn’t want to make him feel awkward. His wet hair made him look younger, but his fit appearance did all the work.

And as you enjoyed the feeling of swimming and basically savoring the water, Harry could only eye you with curiosity. And you wondered if he was noticing how childish you could be.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that I love the water” you admitted, finally taking a seat instead of remaining wandering. Your cheeks disgusting the embarrassment as they already were red from the vapor of the waters.

Harry only offered you a brief smile.

“I don’t mind that you’re enjoying this”

“I never thought of visiting Iceland before” you admitted, looking at the portrait views of the place. “I’m ignorant of much of the beauty the world has to offer”

“Where do you want to go? Paris?” You chuckle, shaking your head.

“I mean of course I want to go to Paris but I’ve always had a thing for Italy and Japan” you admitted. “And lately I’ve thought about how much I’d like to go to Malaysia”

“Malaysia?” Harry asked with genuine interest as you nodded.

“Yes, it’s perfect”

“I never thought about it” you shrug at the man sitting across from you.

“I can’t believe Lucy wasted the opportunity to experience something like this…” you said and Harry seemed to get thoughtful. He turned away from you, his arms leaning on the rocks and looking at the biggest mountain in the place.

“You were right…” he said taking you by surprise.

“I was?” You asked with shyness, thinking maybe you’d gone too far.

“Yeah, about her wanting sickening love…” you didn’t know if it was correct to ask for more details, but Harry spared you the silence. “I can’t love so easily, I just want companionship and stop hearing my mother that she wants me to marry”

“Then find someone who also just wants companionship. No actual love and pointless sweet nothings” you said taking a place beside him, feeling your muscles relaxing thanks to the water.

Harry turned to his left to eye you. He smiled and chuckled.

“You’d make a hell of a good wife for my mother” You shook your head, chuckling as well.

“Oh my god, Why?”

“She and my dad have a chunky age gap. She always tells me to date younger women…”

“Well, most relationships with age gaps don’t work well. But there are somewhere… the relationship sticks” you started, trying to choose the right words. “I hope that yours sticks too”

Both of you smiled at each other.

…

The dinner was great. You were surprised at how great you got along Harry. He was older and had more experience in every single aspect but he listened to your stupid bullshit and followed along. Just like you listened and asked about his stuff. It was like actually befriending someone. But in the middle of a Scandinavian five-star dinner and Vínarbrauð for dessert.

Then both of you wished good night to each other and went to bed. He never made you feel awkward or obligated to do anything and you loved it.

But you couldn’t sleep. Harry had been rolling over the bed for hours. You didn’t mind, but you grew curious as to why the sun was still up. Until you are seated on the floor, looking at the balcony and you remember it was a time of the phenomenon called Midnight Sun. The sun barely set over the horizon.

The sky looked red, purple orange, and with hints of magenta, with the rest almost completely dark. You couldn’t recall a sunset as beautiful as that one in Iceland.

“Can’t sleep?” Harry asked, startling you.

“You scared me, shit. But… No, for some reason, I cannot”

“Jet lag. I can’t sleep either”

His dark grey pajama pants and black t-shirt made him look cozy, even worthy of cuddles, but as the non-love person he was, you knew that’d be hardly a reality.

“We can postpone tomorrow’s agenda”

“No, I’m fine. You planned out everything already, I can’t make you cancel or postpone….” Maybe you sounded a little too hysterical, but you felt slightly entitled to enjoy everything Harry had planned for the trip. Even if it was meant to be for your sister.

Anyone would’ve said it was morally wrong and imprudent to accept the trip invitation. But… Why not? Harry was great and he wanted company. You thought he offered the ticket to you because it was cheaper to change first names and leave the same last name.

“You can say no, y/n. The fact that I have you here with me doesn’t mean you have to accept everything I planned” Harry said with a kind smile. One that made you realize he was a really good person.

Perhaps Lucy was right: he was perfect.

“You’re far too kind, Harry. I swear I’m insisting because I want to enjoy this trip” You lied in the slightest, but Harry didn’t seem to notice.

“Good girl,” he said patting your head and you playfully yanked his hand.

“I’m not a dog, man” Both of you chuckle until there are those smiles again.

Since that night in the bar, you felt some peace when that exchange of smiles happened. And you felt it again in that hotel, in Iceland.

“Maybe it was meant to happen this way” Harry said looking at the still Midnight Sun. “To have you here and not Lucy…”

“Could be destiny telling you to have a female younger friend”

“Or you just wanted to save money on the extra ticket” Upon hearing your words, Harry started cackling, which made you smile confused.

“You think I did it to save money?” You nodded and he kept laughing.

“I knew you were rich but no this reach”

“That gives me more points, right?” Then you cackled, patting his knee.

“You seriously have been brainwashed”

“Why so?”

“This thing about dating being a business” you said with a slightly frustrated tone. “It’s all total bullshit, just find someone who you enjoy spending time with, don’t cheat on them, and call it a day”

“So if I wasn’t rich, Would I still be a fair option for you?” Harry asked.

“You’re good-looking. Despite being older than me, you’re hot so… That’s a good start for me, so yes”

“What about being shorter?”

“Why? You had the limb lengthening surgery?” You asked and he remained quiet, looking at you deeply in the eye. So you started cackling again.

“For real?” Slowly, he nodded with genuine shyness.

“Oh my god. If you were my boyfriend, this where I kiss your cheeks, tell you I don’t give a fuck but make fun of it for the rest of our time together”

Harry only glared at you with a little smile. The faint light of the room is getting brighter as the sun would soon start to rise again. But Harry thought you looked radiant, with no makeup or trying to make yourself look desirable. At one moment he thought he would regret taking you with him. But he was glad since you were good company.

“That’s it. Now you know my darkest secret, now you’re entitled to be my friend forever” he joked, so you offered your hand.

“Friends forever, then…” you said, shaking his big and warm hand.

He didn’t let go of your hand at first. And when he did, his fingers passed to caress your cheek, testing the skin of it. It took you by surprise, but you found yourself leaning closer to him.

As he started to lean as well, you thought twice if it was a good idea. But there wasn’t much to think about when you already had Harry’s lips on yours.

By the way, his lips tried to take complete control, you understood that Harry was a dominant lover. He wanted the power of giving pleasure and when you started to feel his weight pushing you backward, you also understood he was more interested in your release rather than his.

“Harry…” you whispered before leaning backward completely.

“Should we stop?” He says on your lips, his hands stopping their movements in your hips.

You instantly missed the way his thumbs caressed your hip bones, the ache between your legs growing at a desperate speed.

You finally got on your back, your right hand barely touching his chin. His beard tickled you and when he accidentally moved his head, you touched his lips, so you pushed him, urging him to kiss you again.

“Do you have condoms?” You asked, trying to articulate coherent words as Harry pushed your shorts aside, quickly feeling how you weren’t wearing any underwear. He gasped and gave your wet lips a soft pat before nodding as you moaned for the first time in the night.

“Yeah, in one of my bags” you nodded back, trying to focus on getting the protection first. But dear lord, his fingers rubbed you so well, expertly gathering your crystal clear juices and making a wet mess in your clit. Your legs opened wider by instinct.

“Go and get the damn condom before I start getting wetter and needier” he smirked and when you thought he was going for the condoms, he slid two of his clean fingers in your mouth.

“I think, you come first and then I get the condoms” It shouldn’t have turned you on how bossy he sounded. You were pretty boring when it came to sex, but… What were you seeing in Harry that he was making you feel so aroused?

“Now, suck my fingers while I use the rest on your pretty cunt” You moaned in his fingers and closed your eyes when he started fingering you. All the time comes to remember the damn condoms.

It was safe to say that neither of you remembered the booked whale sighting tour for the next morning.

…

Was Harry your friend, friend with benefits, lover? You couldn’t tell.

Iceland was a dream. It made you feel sad to return to New York. But as the days passed, you quickly got back to your old routine and self. You remember your life was also great with no man sleeping by your side, dealing with debts, and not having five-course meals.

Until he called. Exactly two weeks after returning home.

“Am I talking with the most optimist woman in New York?” You smiled, remembering how Harry started saying you were too optimistic while trying different things in Iceland. Or when things got a little rocky after visiting a melting glacier.

“I believe that optimistic woman stayed in Iceland, sir” he chuckled and it made you smile wider.

“I should’ve called sooner, but I was so busy. How are you, kid?”

“It’s okay, I get it. I’m fine and you? How is job and life going?”

“Things are fine. Things are fine…” he repeated.

There’s a comforting silence for a couple of seconds. You heard the birds near your window and the sound of traffic down the block.

“So… We should see each other one of these days” you felt your heart pounding, fluttering, and sending shockwaves through your body. The same thing that happened with people who made you happy. You couldn’t tell but you really wanted to befriend Harry.

“Yeah, we should hang out or something” you agreed quickly.

“Great, I will call you soon…”

“I’ll be waiting. And Harry?”

“Yes, darling?’

“Thank you for everything”

“You thanked each day. I know…”

You hung up with a big big big smile.

…

Three weeks later, life inverted, in the most twisted and unexpected way.

You had declined each call from Harry Castillo, you were with a confectioner to get a dress for Lucy’s wedding with John. And you were six weeks pregnant.

It all started the weekend after Harry called. You have a cozy Saturday alone at your apartment and decided to have wine. It tasted great but you felt odd. And the next morning, the nauseous feeling started.

Two negative pregnancy tests later, you still felt sick. So you started ignoring Harry until you knew with certain details if you were pregnant or not.

Turns out you were, you needed thousands of vitamins to have a healthy pregnancy and apparently a husband or at least a boyfriend. You didn’t know what to do.

You didn’t even know if Harry deserved to know.

In Iceland, you saw how he placed the condom each time he was about to fuck you. Each time he trusted you, you wished he wasn’t wearing a condom so you could feel better that delicious vein his cock had. What was the point then?

It didn’t make sense. But there was a creature that didn’t even look like a fetus yet inside your womb.

When Lucy came to your place with the news that she was getting married to John, you genuinely felt happy for her. But even better for John because you knew him since you were a teenager and he was a great man, only that he needed to get a better job.

Lucy asked you to be her bridesmaid and you couldn’t say no. Because for the first time, you felt light while being with her, you couldn’t ruin things. So you didn’t tell her you were pregnant.

And horror of horrors, the day of the wedding, when you were ready with your bridesmaid grey dress while trying to get a cab, you found Harry leaning against a ridiculously expensive car, his driver ready to any command of his.

The color in your face drained. You gripped your purse tightly. He was wearing a suit and looked sad.

“You look very pretty” was the first thing he said, almost making your eyes grow wet.

“Harry…” you said.

“I called…”

“I know” you admitted with shame.

“Then why you didn’t answer any of my calls?”

“I’ve been sick” his expression changed, from dissatisfaction to worried.

“What? Are you okay? Is it serious?”

“No, uh… anemic breakdown and a meltdown combined” It wasn’t a complete lie. You were anemic and you had a meltdown. You were only skipping the part of Harry’s child growing inside you.

“I’m truly sorry. I know it was stupid but-“

“Hey, it’s okay. But you worried me, next time you tell me. Talk to me, I can’t cook but I’ll try and I can get you the best medicine”

Your eyes finally grew wet, but you swallowed the lump in your throat.

“I wish I could hug you right now”

“You can hug me, I don’t like love, but I’m human, dear”

You crashed into his arms and called it pregnancy hormones, but you kept holding Harry so dearly that you forgot about so many things while doing so. Except that, you felt worse for keeping the most important thing from him.

“We’re good then. And why are you so nicely dressed, little lady?” The nickname made you punch his arm as he made you spin around once to pay attention to your dress.

“Lucy is getting married” you revealed.

Harry couldn’t hide his shock.

“Really? With that actor?” He asked with pure curiosity. “What was his name? Uh-“

“John…” you told him and he nodded. “They’ll have a communal wedding and I’m the bridesmaid”

Harry subtly looked up and down at you, he was relieved to hear that you were not actually avoiding him. It was so weird that he was actually interested in you when he never pursued young women.

And it felt even better to not really care about Lucy’s love life.

“Can I take you to the wedding then?” He asked with a gorgeous spark in his eyes.

You weren’t sure if it was the best idea, but you couldn’t say no at that moment.

“Yes, you can” Then he opened the door of his car for you and the ride was comforting. You easily avoided sharing too many details about your sickness with Harry, but it didn’t mean you weren’t slowly feeling anxious about the whole issue.

When he dropped you at the place, you just couldn’t tell Harry to leave.

“We are going to have a little party at Lucy’s mother’s place upstate after the wedding. Do you want to come?” You asked feeling shy and small. He could’ve easily rejected you but he only smirked and started walking you toward the entrance, offering his arm,

“If Lucy and John have no problem. Then yes…”

“I hope not…’ but you knew it could get a little awkward.

And so it did, the moment Lucy appeared in a simple but beautiful wedding gown along with John, the smiles dropped when they looked at Harry.

“What did I miss?” She asked as she hugged you briefly.

“Uh, I wanted to say it sooner. But we’re…” In fact, you were clueless about your status with Harry. But soon he answered for you.

“We’re seeing each other,” Harry said, gently squeezing your arm. It took you by surprise and a little smile appeared on your face.

“She’s barely out of college” Lucy commented, sounding a little too judgemental.

“I know, she works at NYU” Harry answered, not feeling threatened at all.

So cynical, but polite and confident. That was Harry trying to not let the tension escalate between him and Lucy.

“And that’s great. If they get along, that’s also great. Right, Lucy?” John also tries to lighten the mood.

As Lucy was still eyeing Harry, you started to feel nervous. So John, took you by the arm.

“Hey, y/n. Why don’t you pick our seats?” You nodded immediately, but you didn’t want to let go of Harry, until you looked up at him and he offered a warm smile with a tilt, urging you to go with John.

“If you break her heart-“ Lucy starts, pointing at Harry with defiance.

“You know I won’t” he interrupted her.

And the truth was that Harry had so many points in his favor.

“Fine, go and sit with her”

…

It was a beautiful and humble party in a modest house. You remembered a few Christmass spent at that house: blue with white facades and too many flowers.

You forgot about a lot of Lucy’s family, and seeing them again was nice. She genuinely looked happy and relaxed. You knew she quit her job as a matchmaker and was trying to simply help plan weddings.

And it resulted in curious how hers was so light, classic, and homely.

Harry seemed to get along with the party, you wondered if he would feel like an outcast since it wasn’t a luxurious wedding, and it surprised you that he embraced humility as if he wasn’t part of the richest families in New York.

“So… you and Harry?” Lucy asked as soon as she appeared to take a seat beside you.

You sighed, nodding while watching Harry dancing with Lucy’s grandmother.

“I mean, I don’t know if we’re a thing but… is something”

“How couldn’t you tell me?” It was unsure if she was just curious or resented, but you wished it was just doubt and shock.

“I- I don’t know, it just happened”

“You’re aware that he’s older, avoidant and dominant. Right?”

“Lucy, I’m well aware of that. It’s not like I’m marrying him” Suddenly you felt irritated by his accusing tone. And you didn’t want to fight but as she kept bombarding you with comments, you started feeling anxious.

“Oh, you would. With all the materialist things he can get you. You’d hardly be willing to leave him…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucy finally snapped out of it, she realized she was getting on your nerves.

“You can never be happy for me, it’s always judge and judge and judge. My god, Lucy, just let me live the way I want!”

“…y/n” Lucy grabbed your hand, placing the free one on your cheek.

“You’re pale. Are you okay?” She asked with worry.

At that moment you realized your hands were turning numb, your vision was getting blurred and you could only hear a pitch, Lucy’s voice sounding distant.

Then nausea started its way through your chest and throat.

“My blood pressure is dropping”

Lucy yelled, calling for John.

Lucy’s mother, John, and Harry gathered around you.

You couldn’t see well but you knew Harry was right there, telling you to breathe and asking for water for you.

“Is she sick?” John asked, fanning you.

“Maybe she’s dehydrated” Lucy commented, debating whether to call for an ambulance.

You looked very pale and you couldn’t even lift your hands anymore.

“Dear, Are you pregnant?” Lucy’s mother asked you with a relaxed voice.

You distantly heard her and started nodding.

“You got my sister pregnant?” Lucy started screaming at Harry. John was trying to calm her and the rest of the guests were looking at each other in confusion.

“Harry, get her inside the house, please” Lucy’s mother had always been nice to you, despite not getting along with yours, she was always kind and soft-spoken to you.

You barely felt Harry carrying you all the way from the backyard to the living room of the house.

…

The sound of water being poured finally made a return to reality.

Harry handed you a cold glass of water and you thanked him.

“Do you feel a little better?” you only nodded, looking for any sign of anger from him. But Harry looked calm, he got on his knees, facing you and looking so deeply into your eye that sent shivers through your spine.

“Is it true? You’re actually pregnant and is mine?”

“I- Yes…” you admitted, lowering your head.

‘And you weren’t going to tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure. I don’t even know if I’m having it…”

“How far are you?” His eyes felt heavy on your still flat stomach, with no specific emotion on his face.

“About six weeks…” the air felt thicker but not suffocating.

Harry remained calm, making it harder for you to understand what he was feeling.

“Harry, I don’t want to ruin anything. I really like you and I enjoy your company. This was an accident…”

“A one-of-a-kind accident,” he said, and his attempts to joke, made you feel less stressed out.

The condoms were fine. But he didn’t doubt some had a defect. That’s why only dated women who were on birth control. But… he couldn’t judge you, you were in your right to stay out of it. In fact, Harry admired you for opposing it, but it came with a great cost. And for some reason, he couldn’t be angry.

He was not getting any younger, his mother would hate the idea of him getting a woman pregnant before putting a ring on her finger. But he liked the idea.

“I’ll respect whatever you choose to do. But I’d like you to keep it, let’s have a kid. I promise we’re going to be fine”

Finally, you felt like you could breathe again. Not really because you desired to become a mom. Or because you wanted to tie Harry to you. But because now you had an answer. It was your time to choose.

“Are you sure?” You asked leaning forward, very few inches of distance between you and Harry.

“Yeah, I am,” he said before caressing your cheek. “I’m going to take care of you so well, darling”

Lucy saw the exchange from afar, from the sprint door his mother had in the kitchen. She found herself smiling. And accepting her maths was once again wrong. You and Harry Castillo made a match.

…

[ First Trimester]

The whole place smelled like chicken broth. You were drinking hot hibiscus tea while flipping through a fashion magazine.

“Holy fuck…” you heard from the kitchen. At first, it startled you but then, you started chuckling.

“Are you okay there?”

“Everything is fine, sweetheart”

Harry was attempting to cook for you. You were three months pregnant, he was coming at least three times per week to see you. But when you faced a whole entire week of nausea and vomiting, he stayed the whole week.

Slowly, you were getting used to having him in your life. The only bad thing was that you two had never defined the relationship. And you weren’t desperate to do so, but it was odd whenever an old lady asked if you were Harry’s wife.

“Dinner is ready…” Harry announced.

You made it to the kitchen and he had placed two bowls of chicken broth along with cranberry juice glasses. You stared at the scene in awe.

“We can order delivery if you don’t like it”

“No! Harry, don’t! It smells great!” you reassured him, caressing his hand.

He would never pressure you. But as Harry saw you slurping at the soup and engaging in whatever conversation he brought up, he wanted to make you consider marriage.

He was growing too comfortable with you.

He wasn’t in love and doubted he’d ever be. But felt nice, having a couple without a facade.

…

[ Second Trimester ]

Hospitals made you uneasy. Not even clinics were as terrifying as big white sanitizer-smelling hospitals. But there you were leaning in a cold bed with Harry sitting beside you.

It was the fifth-month appointment and so far, everything seemed to be going well. The nausea stopped and so the hormones became overproduced. You started staying some days at Harry’s penthouse and he got you a full maternity lingerie wardrobe to wear for him. It was silly, but you two had so much fun despite not being an ordinary couple. The relationship was still undefined, but it was too good, so you avoided the subject as much as he did.

“Alright, parents. Are we ready to know the sex of the baby? Or would you like to print the results?” The nice old doctor asked.

Harry and you exchanged looks before smiling at each other, nodding at the same time.

“We’d like to know now…” you said at the doctor. She was one of the best in New York and Harry easily got you an appointment with her during the second month of the pregnancy.

“Alright then… Let’s see” the cold gel in your womb almost made you squirm. But the warm touch of Harry’s hand on your shoulder relaxed you.

Through the echography, you start to see faint parts of the baby’s body. The head, what seemed like an arm and leg, and then… you squeezed Harry’s hand.

“It’s a girl, congratulations!” The doctor yelled. “I’ll go print some pictures and then I’m back to clean your belly.

You smiled again, and then Harry leaned closer, kissing your cheek.

“You heard that, baby? We’re having a girl…” Harry whispered in your ear, making you blush and caress his knuckles.

You were becoming addicted to him. But you knew it had to be the pregnancy playing with your emotions.

…

[ Third Trimester ]

Charlotte; Harry’s sister-in-law offered and insisted on throwing you a baby shower. You couldn’t say no, but you warned her how you wanted to be a casual party with no storks and sandwiches and games.

And it worked out.

She rented a rooftop that felt like a dream despite not being too ostentatious. There was pink everywhere, but it wasn’t blinding. People congratulated you and Harry and constantly asked if you two would get married. Others are reserved to compliment your outfit. You picked a sundress with comfortable heels, curled hair, and orange makeup. Your belly popped out weeks ago, and by the time of the baby shower, you were seven months pregnant.

And you were scared. Not because your due date was approaching, but because you were utterly in love with the father of your baby.

The sickening love knocked at your door and didn’t seem to want to leave.

Harry looked gorgeous as ever, he was in dress pants in sand color with a salmon pink shirt. He was proud of being babygirl father-to-be. And that was one of the many reasons that made you feel like you couldn’t live without him.

The cake was cut and some guests had already left, but there was a song from The Ronettes that Harry and you loved, so he asked if you wanted to dance with him.

“Charlotte outdid herself with this shower” you commented while placing your head on Harry’s chest.

“She did. Everything was nice…”

“Pink suits you” you dared to tell him, which made him laugh.

“Really? I never wear pink. But I’m getting used to it” his comment made your heart flutter.

“Same for me” you admitted.

“Be for real, baby. Everything fits you…”

“Even this bump between us?” The hand on your shoulder came to rest on your belly.

“That only makes it more special” Your smile was overflowing.

And just when he said that the baby kicked.

Harry felt it and sighed in disbelief. He couldn’t believe he was going to ask Lucy to marry him.

After you, nothing would ever top the feeling of having a woman like you in his life. And to your luck, he was also scared to be falling in love with you.

…

You were late. Harry was about to call you to see if everything was okay, and then you knocked on his door.

“Why are you sweating so much?” Harry asked upon opening the door.

“I came all the way here from my place walking?” you revealed and Harry huffed in disbelief.

“Are you insane? Why would you do that? You’re pregnant, y/n!” Harry pushed you inside his penthouse.

“Harry, I’m being too lazy, I can’t even hit my usual gym routine anymore”

“You’re insane. My baby girl must be so tired” You grew accustomed to having him kissing your bump whenever you two reunited after days of not seeing each other.

“Your baby girl was screaming, begging for a trip”

“When she’s at least four months old, I’m taking my girls to Malaysia like you always wanted” You wanted to rip your heart out and stop seeing him as the most perfect human being.

You wanted to scream you loved him. But you weren’t sure if Harry broke his boundaries like you did.

“You don’t have to…”

“I want to. You deserve it” Slowly, he dragged you to the kitchen, showing you delivery food bags and a pizza box.

“Now, we’re going to clean you up a little bit and then we’ll have a nice dinner and then watch those horror cases you like to see” he started kissing your neck, aiming at your melting point, you gasped, immediately getting turned on.

“Are you sure getting me cleaned is the first thing we’ll do?” Harry chucked, spinning you to kiss you on the lips.

“I can clean you and have a nice time with you at the same time, doll” It was a promise. He washed your hair and then gave you your head. Great communication, promising goals, nice sex. Harry was able to give you the world even if you ignored his money.

…

The moment you felt the bed wet, you got so embarrassed that you almost cried. But soon you started feeling contractions. The pain is ten times worse than the darkest periods of a year.

You looked at the clock and it was 5:00 am, Harry soon was awake as well.

“Are you okay?” He asked, yawning before sitting to take a better look at you.

You wanted to answer, but you let out a big moan of pain.

“No… I think she’s coming today, Harry” he stood up only to come around the bed and sit beside you. “Harry, it hurts too much!”

“Hey hey, baby. Look at me please” You struggle, but you do as he says. “Breathe, just like in the courses we took. Breathe…”

Trying to find some peace, you sigh, holding his hands and expecting the pain to pass.

“You can do this. You will bring our babygirl today and it’s going to be fine” You start nodding with tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

It’s too much happening at the same time. But there is your Harry holding onto you and urging you to keep going at the same time.

You need to tell him. To say-

“I love you” both of you say at the same time.

…

June, June, June, June…

That was all you could say. Over and over again. Ever since you woke up, she was already dressed in a pink onesie with an embroidered duck and gloves covering her tiny hands.

She had a head full of golden hair and had the same kind of eyes as Harry. She was born in the evening and smelled so unique that made you kiss her temple over and over again.

The moment you pushed her out of your body, you fell asleep and the rest of the day was blurry.

“She’s perfect. Isn’t she?” You asked the following morning. Harry hugged you from behind, feeling your body covered in bandages.

“And she smells perfect” Harry replied, feeling your body against his. You threatened to get surgery if your body didn’t return to normal after a year of giving birth. But Harry reassured you that he would love you no matter what.

“Here…” Harry offered you an envelope and it made you frown.

June was asleep, her soft breathing making you look at her like being under a spell. But Harry was still your core shaker. You opened the envelope and gasped in surprise.

Three tickets to go to Malaysia in the fall.

“Harry…” before you could speak, he hushed you.

“One thing in exchange…”

“Yes, dear?”

“Marry me” he told you with a big smile on his face.

Your cheeks burnt and you started giggling, only to end up crashing in his arms and kissing him all over his face.

“Sure”

“Sure that’s all you’ll say?”

“What else do you want me to say?” He rolled his eyes and hugged you tightly against his chest.

“God, I love you”

“June and I love you too, Harry” you assured him, hearing his heartbeats.

“So much?”

“Maybe a little too much, baby” you concluded.

_________________________________________

Taglist: @mirandablue1 @hopperbopper @aeriaselle1711 @persiar9 @qtmoonies @isa942572 @luvrrish @chewie-bars @particularlypuppetry @sweetlovepascal @samslvrgirl @holydreamflower @hummusxx @llamaproblem @sydneyandioop @gretagergwigsmuse @callmefroggy10 @withakindheartx @everandforeveryours @qyoongi @umadirectioner @bellatopo25 @dilfs4life69 @inlovewithchrisevans123 @littlemisslovesjpbp @arcticversed @maniac-penguin @destinythepanda

[oldermenfucker]

Welcome to my corner of filth!

Rue • 19 • she/her • undergrad student • gif maker & fanfic writer

gif blogs -> @michael-robby / @doctorrobbysource / @jackabbotsource

Tracking -> #tuserrue

Ao3 -> oldermenfucker (previously peachysunrize)

most of my fics are fem!reader insert but i'll write character x character as well!! may occasionally contain dark content! beware of the tags!!

Anti shippers are not welcomed<3

Tags so you can find our thots easier: #robby thots / #jack abbot thots / #rabbot thots / #poly!rabbot / #boy dad!jack / girl dad!robby / #john shen thots / girl dad!shen / #dana evans thots

Fics under the cut<3

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐓

𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙏𝙎⬂ ➸ 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐀𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐭

Beautiful Reflection [2.1k] 18+

Jack shows you what happens when you are mean to the body he worships daily.

Mama’s Boy [2k] 18+

Your son interrupts you and your husband’s “fun” time every time Jack gets his hands on you. Tonight he’s hand enough.

This City Holds My Heart [10.3k] 18+

He hears you are coming back to Pittsburgh for the weekend. Maybe the reunion will wash away the pain that’s left inside him after your paths divided.

➸ 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 "𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲" 𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡

You’re Losing Me [9.8k] 18+

he doesn’t notice how his behavior in The Pitt is making you fall from his arms, until the consequences of his actions catch up with him.

His Good Girl [2.4k] 18+

Request: HE PUTS HIS COCK IN BUT HE DOESNT MOVE AT ALL (even if youre begging) AND WANTS TO GET YOU OFF ON HIS COCK BEFORE HE FUCKS YOU???? you also get so overwhelmed by the way hes stretching you out that you cant control your eyes going cloudy and some salty tears falling down your flush face. but his hands are soothing and cooing at you and just like major praise kink yk? anyways yeah okay love you byyeee (gets shy now) whejsjke xoxo

Daddy’s Girl [3.3k] 18+

You finally manage to send your daughter to a sleepover and get your husband alone after various unsuccessful attempts to get your hands on his body.

Alight With The Sparks [8.4k] 18+

Jack and Samira open a dating account for Robby, and furious Dr. Robinavitch goes to shut down the poor girl they have managed to charm, only for the night to take a turn and change his mind.

➸ 𝐑𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐭

Three’s a Crowd [4.4k] 18+

Robby meets Jack’s new young girlfriend for the first time and his night takes a turn when the couple invites him back to their place.

𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎/𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙄 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎⬂

Holding You, Holding Me [ M. Robinavitch x reader ]

your parents’ wedding anniversary brings you and your mom’s friend closer to each other, closer than it should be, but there is no harm if no one finds out, right?

𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎⬂

⥃ Robby helping you with your Ocular Migraine during your shift

⥃ Jack's wife/girlfriend has insomnia and just shows up with a plate of cookies or a fully cooked meal in the middle of his shift at least once a week

𝘿���𝘼𝘽𝘽𝙇𝙀𝙎⬂

⥃ Dr. Robby & medical kink

⥃ Robby talking you through it

⥃ Robby helping you with your puppy growing old

⥃ Robby & Abbot with a reader who’s scares of needles

⥃ Robby’s birthday

⥃ Love In The Sand / beach day with Robinavitch family

⥃ riding Robby’s tummy

[screampied]

do you have any gojo fic recs? sfw and nsfw but nothing else really specific, just in general <3

sure 🎀. i’ll mention some of my fav gojo works i’ve read so farr

laundry day by @satoruhour one of the first gojo fics i’ve read here when i joined tumblr and selineeeee never disappoints. her roommate! gojo is so SCRUMPTIOUS i highly recommend. miss u girlie !!!

older bf gojo! series by @sttoru READ THIS SERIES NOOWWWW. it has both sfw & nsfw n the dynamic always has me swooning. i’d also rec karina’s angst satoru fics if you like angst bc her angst is immaculate and heart wrenching. perfect combo mmh 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

brigerton! gojo series by @fushitoru VERY VERY GOOD this entire series feels like the actual show but better n its so descriptive with lots of yummy angst, plot twists n more. aashi has lots of delicious yummy works, i’d also rec her clan head! gojo and spiderman! gojo bc it’s actual literature >>>

unmistakably yours by @tonycries thisf and i think her fic called ‘initiation!’ were the first tony fics i’ve ever read last year ANDWEEEROO. just ssssoo good, love a good best friends to lovers trope. the part with his powers was so cool n actually changed something in me. GOOD FUCKING SHIT. ur panties will disintegrate

streamer gojo! series by @osaemu this entire series is so cute n streamer gojo’s so 💗💖💞. first fic i’ve read was ‘yes i have a girlfriend, yes she’s real!’ AND ITS SO CUTE. this series has both sfw & nsfw including angst YUM. plus sab’s graphics like always are a total 10. the chats always kill me, especially the toji slander 😭😭.

digimon—but making u cum is my real hobby by @blkkizzat LMAOOOO THIS FIC IS EVERYTHING TO ME. otaku gojo is such a loser and the way kali wrote him, i need him BAD. i’ve never laughed and throbbed so much at the same time in a fic. kali nails gojo’s personality perfectly !!! there’s also a mlist too i believe. i come back to this fic like every month just YUM

wolf in sheep’s clothing by @starmapz this has it all !!!! fluff, angst, smut and it’s just WOW. satoru’s so lovable, and it genuinely felt like i was watching a movie. i’ve read this in one sitting and UUUUGH everything about this fic >>>>

dying for your love by @staryukis I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED ZOMBIE! AU GOJO IN MY LIFE. this fic literally shattered me, the dynamic is just so heartbreaking. it’s set in an apocalypse au! with lots of gut-wrenching angst so beware. soso good, i remember stumbling upon the masterlist and knewww it was gonna be a good read. also, logan’s follow up fic ‘die with a smile’ broke me into two I LOVE IT

[iamsebastiansstan]

surrender at your feet - stepbro!NAC x fem!reader

summary - This kink is getting out of hand, but he doesn’t give a single fuck, because where he is sick and rotten, she is, too.

wc - 15k lol - MINORS DNI !

warnings - dark!Nicholas so beware, stepcest, manipulation, somnophilia, oral (m and f receiving), edging, crying during sex, dirty talk, face slapping (the sexual and non sexual kind), borderline abusive Nicholas, panty kink, non-consensual voyeurism (he's watching her taking a shower without her knowing), exhibitionism (grinding where others could see), but they looove each other whatever whatever <3

A/N - this one... LOL THIS ONE almost did me in, it took me so long to write and it's nowhere near done but it was gnawing at my brain so I had to post it. 's a likkle fucked up so don't read if you aren't into that sick shit, thanks. super plot heavy, part two is gonna be a lot smuttier! feedback is always appreciated, love you <3

this one is for @hoffmansgirl and @urlitttlevenicebitch specifically, thanks for holding my hand throughout all this nastiness my Darlings 🖤

PART 1 / 2:

It started a couple of years back, when she first came into his life, fists swinging and lips cursing. She hated it, hated being part of this family, hated the new house she moved into, hated his father, hated him.

It was a lot for her to take in, and he understood. He, too, had some nights where he had to clench his teeth through the onslaught of tears, fuming at the fact that his mother just up and left them like that, moved to fucking Italy to be with Sergio or Francesco or whatever the fuck his name is, giving up everything she had in her life, including her only son. It hurt, but he bore it, and that was the main difference between them, wasn’t it? Where she was loud and rebellious, a little spitfire, he was quiet and brooding, preferring to keep a low profile.

He's just glad she got used to it, over time, even building a solid relationship with her stepfather. He was grateful for the mother figure his stepmom posed in his life, as well, he had missed having that. 

The two of them, though? 

Acquaintances rather than stepsiblings, and he couldn’t pick between hating the frost between them or being thankful for the emotional distance, considering his feelings towards her. Feelings he doesn’t- can’t- talk about. 

They grew into their adult years together, and the older they got, the more he’s had to try to resist her, his rational brain reminding him of what it’d look like, the rest of his body yearning for her in ways he didn’t even know were possible. 

He’s also glad they both decided to stay home for college, so he can keep an eye on her, brotherly love and all that. Their house isn’t big, but three slim stories high, and he shares the top floor with her, his bedroom next to hers, a bathroom across the hall, blessedly far away from where their parents sleep one floor down. The walls are thin, too, so he can make sure she isn’t sneaking out at night, or taking phone calls she isn’t supposed to be having, and-

He's protective, sue him.

“Nick, have you seen my tanning oil?” she calls from just outside his door, making him look up from the video game he’s playing. 

His frustration runs deep, he’s getting fucking obliterated.

“It’s not in the cabinet?”

“No, that’s why I’m asking!”

“Maybe you left it downstairs yesterday?”

They’re on summer break, and every day, like clockwork, she spends her whole morning tanning her skin, lounging by the pool, reading a book. This past semester has been hard on her, he knows, so she didn’t exactly have time for a job on the side, which means going away on vacation is not in the cards for her right now. He’d love for them to go away together, he’d pay for it no problem, but there’s no way in hell she’d ever say yes to that, so he stays home and sulks. But only a little. He doesn’t mind.

He looks out the window and sees her stomping towards the sunbed, bending down in her tiny bikini that’s showing off her ass and straightening out with the bottle of oil clutched tightly in her hand. She turns towards where his window is and smiles at him, giving him a thumbs up that makes him feel warm on the inside. 

Here’s another thing he loves about having a room on this floor, apart from getting to share it with her: his big window has a very clear view of their garden including the pool, where he can watch her skimpy swimsuit-clad body, covered in oil, at that, for as long as he wants, but if he stands to the side just so, he also gets a glimpse of the spacious outdoor shower their parents insisted on building last summer. It’s perfect to rinse off in after the mud treatments they like to put on in their outdoor sauna, but also perfect to clean yourself in after you’ve doused your body in oil that you don’t want to soil the inside bathroom with, the way his sister prefers to do. He can’t see everything from there, especially not without getting caught- one look up and his hiding spot would be busted- but he can see enough to satisfy his need to feel closer to her, see more of her, his delusion of connection being fed plenty. 

And so he patiently waits for her to get tired of laying around, for her to start feeling too hot under the rays of the August sun, for her to pack up her stuff and languidly move to the shower. Nicholas gets up from his desk and discreetly positions himself just right, just to see enough of the shower. It’s built in a spiral with the showerhead in the middle, and she hangs up her silk robe outside and then walks in, hands already reaching behind herself to pull the strings of her top, making it fall away. This is a sight he’ll never grow tired of: her full breasts on display, perky nipples hard from the change in temperature, making his mouth water for a taste. He’d treat them so well, suck them so good. 

Next are her bottoms, and this is where his line of sight isn’t cutting it properly, he can’t see past the curve of her ass or the spot where her stomach becomes her mound, but he’s okay with it, okay with imagining it without knowing exactly. It makes it sweeter, in a way, lets the anticipation build for what he hopes will someday become an inevitability. 

Grabbing the bottle of shower gel from the rack on the wall and spreading it on her loofa generously, she starts cleaning herself, rubbing her small hands all over that smooth skin, getting rid of the oil that made her look shiny and lickable. Nicholas feels his cock stir but he doesn’t do anything about it, the risk of getting caught too high. He can explain away why he’s standing by his window, but there’s no explanation for why he’s looking outside with his cock in his hand. He just commits every moment to memory and jerks off after, that’s how it’s always been. 

Always, up until now, apparently, because she does something he’s never seen her do before: she leans against the wall, just outside of the stream of water, and lets one hand trail down her stomach, very obviously stopping at her pussy and keeping it there. Her other hand grabs at her breast as she throws her head back, and Nicholas audibly moans when he realizes that fuck, his stepsister is touching herself under the shower. He knows it’s wrong to watch, has known since the very first time he did, having to squash the guilt day in and day out, but he couldn’t look away now if he tried. 

Hand grabbing his cock through his shorts, he palms at the hardness of it, bites his lip when she does, wishes he could look down at her body the way she does, see what she’s doing to that undoubtedly sweet pussy of hers. It’s like his brain has been switched off when he plunges his hand into his underwear and grasps his rock hard dick, not pulling it out but giving himself enough room for movement as he desperately jerks it, speeding up when he sees her arm moving faster, not daring to shut his eyes as he watches her close hers and come with her face scrunched up. It doesn’t take him long and he’s right there with her, spilling his load hot all over himself, uncaring because what he just witnessed was the hottest thing of his life.

She sighs heavily, judging by the movement of her chest, and he sees her clean herself quickly before shutting the water off and grabbing the towel that’s hanging to the side.

He doesn’t stay to watch her walk out. 

*** 

He acts normal around her, because of course he does, what else is he supposed to do? They eat dinner together every night, as a family, they go to the movies every now and then, when there’s something good on and her friends are busy, he drives her home from parties, when his friends decide to drink and make him the designated driver of the group. 

Such is the case tonight, after a few students from their college had one too many at the bar crawl and he offered to take some of them home. After dropping off his last friend from the group, it’s just the two of them in the car.

“You never drink,” she mumbles, watching the streetlights as they drive by.

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“Just not my thing.”

She scoffs. “I feel like you’d be a lot more fun if you did.”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. This is a level of honesty she wouldn’t allow herself without liquid courage. 

“Why’s that?”

“Dunno,” she shrugs. “You’re a little… stuck-up. Actually, no. You’re strict.”

He smiles softly.

“I guess I am. You had fun tonight?”

She grins at him when he looks over at her.

“Fuck yeah. Gave Sam my number, he said he’d text me tomorrow.” 

Jealousy flares in his chest, bright and ugly, and he grips the steering wheel to keep himself from saying something he’ll regret.

“Oh, really? I heard he’s bad news, (Y/N).”

She clicks her tongue, all sass, before she replies, “People talk, but it’s mainly bullshit. He’s a good guy.”

He lets her answer hang in the air, out of things to contribute to this stupid conversation. Fuckin’ Sam, of all people. 

After a while, she speaks up again.

“What about you? I never see you with anyone.”

He smiles to himself, shrugging.

“I date around a bit, nothing serious. I don’t have the capacity for it right now.”

I’m too focused on you, he doesn’t say. It’s been around two weeks since he’s had sex, choosing to hit up a girl from class every now and then, when his frustration gets too intense, but he’s not really interested in anything but the physical, with nobody. Well, nobody apart from his stepsister, of course.

They arrive at home, and he parks the car, turns it off and looks to his right where she’s sitting.

“Lots of girls have a crush on you, Nicholas,” she whispers, doesn’t look at him, “I hear them talk. They want you.”

He knows, but he doesn’t care.

“Yeah? And how does that make you feel, to hear them thirsting after your big brother?”

He’s tethering on an edge, here, and he’s aware of it. They don’t really talk about what they are to each other, they don’t really talk at all, actually, but he throws caution in the wind and hopes her drunk self will let him get away with it.

Her eyes are hard when they meet his, albeit for just a second.

“I think it’s stupid,” she mumbles, “none of them are good enough for you.” With that she undoes her seatbelt and gets out, bends down to look at him one more time, says, “Thank you for the ride, Nick,” and slams the door shut.

He sits there long after she’s walked into the house. 

*** 

When he hears a slight, insistent buzzing sound, he first thinks it’s tinnitus. He pops his ears, digs a knuckle in to try to make it stop before deciding that, nope, it’s not coming from within his head. It’s coming from the other side of the wall.

Seeing as the walls are paper-thin, Nicholas hears most of what goes on in her room, as does she when he doesn’t watch how loud he’s being in his.

He doesn’t listen to music loudly, instead he opts for using his headphones, because he knows she loves to read and prefers a quiet atmosphere to do so. She stops her singing and humming at around ten p.m., because she knows he’s a ridiculously light sleeper and can hear every sound she makes. They look out for each other, as siblings are supposed to, no matter their relation.

But he’s never heard buzzing before, especially not like this, it’s too drawn out for it to be her phone leaned against the wall, signaling a call. Is it a hair clipper? In her room? No way, why would she-

“Oh… oh, fuck,” he hears, her voice high and breathy, and-

Oh. Oh. 

Heat crawls up his neck as he lets the realization sink in, tries his best to stay still and not press his head against the wall to listen in further. He lasts exactly eleven seconds before he’s scooting across his bed to get as close as possible, to hear as much as he can. 

Her moans are stifled but they’re audible nonetheless, making his cock stir. The buzzing must be a vibrator, something she apparently has never used before, because he would’ve heard it if it was the same as this one. Or maybe she’s only used it when he was out of the house, which makes an uncomfortable feeling spread in his gut. Why is she hiding this from him? What else is she hiding from him? 

Nicholas reels himself in through the fog of horniness clouding his mind, reminds himself that she isn’t hiding anything, per se, reminds himself that she’s got a right to privacy, and he is crossing many lines by doing what he does, but. He can’t help it, alright? He needs her, he adores her. 

So he presses his ear against the wall above his headboard, works his pants open and takes his cock out, and bites his lip to keep from moaning right along with her as he listens to her labored breathing, the strong buzzing of the toy that’s pressed- into her pussy? against her pussy?- and the slight whimper that escapes her every now and then. He’s always only imagined what she’d sound like, but now he’s got her actual noises in his ears, and he saves those sounds to his spank bank to get off to forever. God, he can’t believe she’s so vocal even when she’s undoubtedly trying not to be. What a fucking treat she is for him. 

It's over faster than he’d like to admit but he can’t be embarrassed when this literal wet dream material landed in his lap, and after he’s made himself bust to the sound of her reaching her peak herself, biting his knuckles and doing everything in his power not to make a sound and scare her off, he takes his shirt off to wipe the mess with, not finding anything else within arm’s reach.

Deciding to wait a beat before going to the bathroom for a shower, he’s surprised to see her exiting her room at the exact same time he does, looking disheveled and holding a towel with something bundled up in it. No doubt that fucking toy. Her eyes widen comically when she sees him, stops in her tracks, and he can’t help the raise of his eyebrows either. 

“You go ahead,” he tells her, motioning to the bathroom.

“Nah,” she says, her cheeks coloring adorably, “I gotta shower, I’ll take a bit longer.”

He nods, suppresses a smirk.

“Okay, I’ll give you a knock when I’m done.” 

Feeling smug, he purposely takes his time, lets her stew in her discomfort. 

Walking back to his room, he gives her the promised knock before closing his door behind himself. He listens for her footsteps. It takes her almost five minutes to move. 

*** 

If you asked Nicholas if he’d describe himself as creepy, he’d flat-out tell you no. If you asked him if he’d call himself a perv, he’d have to think about it. If you, however, asked him if he’s got some serious sexual issues, he’d nod enthusiastically and ask you if you had the number of a good therapist. Or a priest. At this point, he’ll take any help he can get.

Because he knows this isn’t normal, knows it rationally, but the thing is that he’s a dude in his twenties who just so prefers to think with his cock, mainly, and so he doesn’t care. 

Plus, lately, she’s been a real tease. Nothing too crazy, subtility is her strong suit, but enough to drive him mad. When she sits herself down next to him at dinner, she’ll turn to him, put her feet up on his chair, under his thighs. 

“Please, warm them for me?” she’ll pout, making him roll his eyes in fake annoyance while his heartrate kicks up a notch. 

“You’re not even wearing socks!” he’ll snap, but of course he’ll warm her feet up.

She’s started tanning topless, but only when she’s on her stomach, not revealing too much, but more than she has before. The sight of her tits under the shower is still a treat, though. 

And, on top of it all, she’s started putting her clothes in his hamper. They each have their own hamper in the bathroom, right next to each other, and mix-ups have happened over the years, but three in one week is a bit much. First it was her shirt, then it was two pairs of socks, then her bra. He wordlessly put them into hers without thinking about it, but now he’s struggling.

Because now he’s looking at a thong, a worn thong, on top of the shirt he tossed in last night. How he knows it’s worn? There’s a tiny spot on the crotch, dried pussy juice, whatever it may be, but it suddenly makes his tongue feel heavy and the sight of it makes him think the only way to stop his brain from short circuiting is to put his mouth on it, which, no. Even for him, that is too far, he doesn’t do that.

What he does do, however, after he checks behind himself to make sure she isn’t coincidentally walking by at this exact moment, is pocket them, walk into his room with them heavy on his person, and when he shuts the door, he realizes he hasn’t taken a single breath the entire way there. 

His hands shake when they take the panties out, and his cock hardens so fast that it makes him dizzy for a second. He contemplates bringing them up to his nose and inhaling but decides against it. If he ever gets to smell her, he wants it to be her, fully, nothing else. Tossing them on the bed, he sits down, takes a minute to himself.

That must have fucking been on purpose, right? There is no way she didn’t do that for him to find it. No way. The thong was planted, presented, almost, she wanted him to see it and then what? What reaction is she expecting? He won’t give her a direct one, that’s for damn sure. It’s too risky, what if it really was accidental, he’d make himself look like an absolute psycho.

Resolute, he decides not to do anything about it yet, not regarding her, at least. By himself, that’s another story entirely. He’s undoing his pants before he knows it, taking off his shirt and getting completely naked. Nick leans back against his headboard, gets comfortable among the pillows, and starts playing with his cock slowly.

He's hard, wet already, throbbing, but he takes his time, teases the tip, imagines it’s her tongue instead. Grabbing the panties, he wraps them around his base, makes sure they’re on properly and holds them with one hand while his other speeds up, eager to get off. The sight of that lacy black material around his dick, the contrast similar to how it’d be if he just got her on her back, pulled them to the side and slid into her hot cunt, that thought driving him insane, driving him closer and closer to his orgasm. 

He comes with a shout and isn’t even ashamed of it, makes sure to let his semen run along his shaft and pool on the material of the thong, let it get soaked a little, before he takes it away completely and uses it to wipe away what he can. For the rest he uses a tissue from his bedside table. 

It takes him a while to build that courage up, but he walks to her hamper, puts her ruined underwear at the very top of the dirty pile of her laundry.

Hours later, at night when everyone’s asleep and regret hits him, panic grips at his throat, he goes through it again, can’t find the damn pair of panties among the same pile of clothes.

Nobody in the house did the laundry today, he knows, he’s been the only one at home the entire time.

*** 

Their parents have no qualms about going on vacation for a few weeks and leaving their kids at home alone, and he’s absolutely fine with it for the most part, if only she wasn’t so insistent on letting her rebellious streak show now that nobody can correct her, partying every damn night and showing up at all times of the morning, leaving him worried sick.

“At least have the fucking decency to let me know when you won’t be coming home, so I don’t worry,” he snaps at her after the fourth night of her going out.

“You’re not my fucking father,” she hisses and leaves, skirt too short and heels too high, leaving Nicholas boiling with rage.

It’s only a small surprise when, one day, he walks into the living room after a post-lunch nap and catches her on the couch, straddling Sam. He had forgotten about the guy, about her telling him that they’d exchanged numbers, and he feels the bright hot mix of jealousy and anger make its way into his blood stream.

“Well, well, well,” he drawls, smirks when they jump apart, ending their little make out session, “who do we have here?”

She glares at him with her mouth red and wet, panting slightly, and if he had any less self-control, he’d grab her by the throat and drag her off this loser’s lap.

“Nicholas, hey dude,” Sam chuckles, a little embarrassed and a lot sheepish as she gets off his lap, stands up with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Let’s go up to my room, Sam,” she says, is about to pull him up when Nicholas’ loud laugh interrupts her, makes her whip her head around to look at him.

Stop being weird, her gaze tells him, but she has no clue how normal he’s being right now, has no clue what it is he wants to do instead. 

“I don’t fucking think so, (Y/N),” he snarls, leans against the wall with his arms crossed as well. Two can play this game. “Samuel, you were just about to leave, weren’t you.”

“Actually, I- I wasn’t really-“

“Wasn’t a question.”

“Nick!” she hisses, looks at him with wide-eyed fury, “What the fuck are you doing? Sam, you really don’t have to leave, let’s just go upstairs.” 

“(Y/N),” Nicholas starts, grit teeth and dark eyes, “I said he’s leaving, end of story.” 

“Hey, it’s all good, babe,” Sam says, and even though that nickname makes Nicholas’ stomach turn, he appreciates that the boy has at least some respect left. “I don’t wanna get you in trouble. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

He presses a kiss to her cheek and grabs his backpack, walks past Nicholas with a small nod and disappears through the door. The silence he leaves behind is deafening as they look at each other, and she’s spitting mad, he can tell, shaking with it.

She grits, “What the fuck was that?” 

He shrugs, tries to act nonchalant, tries to keep control over the situation.

“You’re not going to hang out with him again, okay?”

“What?” she yells, disbelief coloring her voice.

“Lower your fuckin’ tone when speaking to me,” he hisses, stalks over to her and grabs her by the shoulders. “Sam is a piece of shit, and I will not let my sister hang around people like him, am I understood? You won’t see him again.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

He doesn’t think, just for a second, and suddenly his hand is at her throat, slamming her against the wall and crowding into her. He can’t consider his next steps, the ringing in his ears is too loud.

“Who the fuck do you think I am, huh? It’s enough now, (Y/N)! It’s enough!”

There’s fear in her eyes as she stares up at him, pulse hammering under his fingertips, but she doesn’t fight him, doesn’t struggle against him. 

He cages her in, lips a hair-width from hers as he gently whispers, “Now, what is it that you’re not going to do anymore?”

She swallows hard, a movement that’s constricted by his tight grip.

“S-see Sam,” she whimpers, not taking her gaze off him.

Nicholas smiles. 

“Atta girl,” he praises, moves the knuckle of his other hand along her cheekbone. “And while we’re at it, you’re not going to any more parties, okay? Four in a row are enough, don’t you think?” She gives him a jerky nod, wordless but appeasing, nonetheless. “Very good, wasn’t so hard, now, was it?” he smiles, condescension dripping from every syllable, watching her shake her head no before he lets instinct take over and presses a kiss to her forehead, all loving brother like. “Now go up to your room, I’ll see you at dinner, yeah?”

She’s out of his grasp before he can even step away fully.

He serves dinner silently, chicken and mac’n’cheese, her favorite. She whispers a small thank you and digs in, doesn’t look at him. Nicholas knows he might have gone a bit far today, especially so suddenly, but he only did it for her. The stories about Sam really did make their rounds, and he’d hate for his little sister to be known as one of that scumbag’s girls. Fuck no. 

“’m sorry about today,” he says after he’s let the atmosphere settle. “I should’ve been gentler, less angry, maybe. But I really am just worried about you, (Y/N), you can understand that, can’t you?”

It takes her a beat before she can look at him, chewing her food slowly. He gives her a small smile, encouraging, he hopes. He puts his hand on the table, palm up, looks at it then looks at her. She’s eyeing him with distrust before exhaling deeply, slowly, oh so slowly, reaching out and putting her hand in his.

His heart is threatening to beat out of his chest- they don’t touch, not ever- but he’s grateful. He considers it an accepted peace offering.

“I know,” she mumbles, “I was just… excited. About him liking me. I know it was probably a stupid thing of me to do.” 

“It was,” he says, keeping his tone gentle, “but it’s okay, I’m here to fix it if needed, okay? I’m your big brother, I’ll help you.”

“You keep saying that,” she notes, eyes hard but tone unsure. “That- that you’re my brother. But you aren’t, not really. We aren’t related.” 

He hums, thinks about how he should react without giving too much away. She’s right, they aren’t, but he needs her to trust him the way she would if they were. 

“We’re family in all the ways that matter, (Y/N). Okay?” he decides to say, squeezes her hand with the corners of his mouth tucked up.

That’s enough for her, apparently, because she gives him a nod and goes back to eating her dinner. When he lets go of her hand, she keeps it on the table, just within reach. 

He takes it as a sign, he’s going to be okay. 

She spends the entire next day in bed, not going outside once, and he knows because he hears that damn toy buzzing. His dick and his palm are sore by the time evening rolls around, because after all, he had to at least try to match her one for one. At least Sam is nowhere to be found, and Nick intends to keep it that way.

*** 

It sneaks in slowly, the need to be more involved, to order her around. It shows up at lunch, at dinner, one more piece of broccoli, one more scoop of rice. 

“Are you on a diet or somethin’? You’ve barely eaten.”

“Guess my appetite isn’t very big today.”

“C’mon, have some more.” Silence. “Hey, (Y/N).” A wide-eyed look. “For me?” A tiny smile, a shrug, a nod.

He refills her plate, an itsy-bitsy portion, and smiles when she eats it. He doesn’t want her to start feeling unwell now that she wakes up late and skips breakfast altogether, he needs to take care of her when their parents aren’t around. Nicholas isn’t the type to control anyone’s food intake, that would be ridiculous, but he doesn’t want her to miss out on her nutrients. 

Sometimes, she doesn’t let him.

“I really am full, I’ll have the leftovers tomorrow.”

He concedes, smiles at her. 

“Okay, I’ll put the rest in the fridge. The container is microwave proof, yeah?”

“’kay. Thank you, Nick.”

When he passes by her, he decides to be impulsive and bend down, press a kiss to the top of her head. He feels himself blush when she preens under his touch. It’s not weird, it’s a show of appreciation between stepsiblings. 

He’s walking by the bathroom, snacking on a banana, when he sees her standing in front of the mirror and curling her hair. Nick stops, leans against the doorframe and takes a bite.

“You going out in that?” he asks, motions with the half-eaten banana.

She turns, surprised, looks down at herself.

“Yeah, why? You don’t like it?”

“Where are you going?”

“Getting coffee with the girls.”

He hums, looks her up and down, unashamed in his staring. She may think it’s for the outfit, he knows it’s for her delicious body. 

“I feel like a flowy skirt would be cute. Or a dress, I don’t know. Nothing too short.”

She nods, looks at her baggy jeans.

“Want me to change?” her tone is genuine when she asks, none of the usual snark audible in it.

Nicholas chews slowly, looks to the side, unsure what to do. She’s letting him do this, giving it to him.

“Do you want to?”

“If… if you want me to, then yeah.”

He nods, finishes the bite, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Yeah, change into that olive green tennis skirt you have. It’ll go well with your top.” 

She smiles brightly, nods. 

“Okay, I will.” He’s just about to turn and walk away when she calls, “Thank you, big brother.” 

He throws her a smile over his shoulder and scurries away to dispose of the banana peel. His dick is hard in his pants.

Before she walks out, she knocks on his door, steps in when he allows it.

“Like this?” she asks, twirls once to let him see the full outfit.

She’s so fucking cute, he can’t decide if he wants to wrap her up in his arms forever or fuck her ‘til she’s crying.

He beckons her closer with his index finger, reaches out to touch the hem of her skirt once she’s close enough, pulls at it, like he’s assessing the material.

“Much better,” he rasps, smiles up at her from where he’s sitting at his desk chair. “Have fun, pretty. Call me if you need anything.”

She nods, smile so wide the corners of her eyes are crinkling, and she leaves. He exhales deeply, a warm feeling in his chest. This is going better than he could’ve imagined. 

“Come watch this movie with me,” he says, popcorn already in his lap, finger about to press play on the remote.

“I was gonna go to sleep… I’m so tired.”

That’s what she had said the past two nights, as well, only to stay up to fuck herself until well after midnight. It really must be a new toy, he thinks, her obsession with it, with getting off, way too intense for it to be anything but a new sensation. He knows she’s not a virgin, much to his dismay, but he has no clue if she gets fucked on the regular. Nick’s been making it difficult for her as well, he knows, not letting her out of the house too late.

“C’mon, just a bit? If you fall asleep, I’ll carry you upstairs.”

“I don’t know, Nick…”

“(Y/N),” he starts, voice stern now, “come sit down with me. It’s been a while since we last just spent time together.”

Reluctantly, she stomps her way over to him, annoyed. She does sit down, though, he’ll give her that, doesn’t even put too much distance between them. He smiles, presses play and leans back, enjoying the intro. She takes a handful of popcorn when he holds the bowl out to her but declines a second, which he’s fine with. 

It doesn’t take long for her to start squirming. 

First, it’s just some movement back and forth, it can pass as burrowing into the couch cushions, getting comfortable. Then it’s crossing and uncrossing her legs, over and over again, before she gives up with a humph and sits still. That lasts all of five minutes before she moves again, tucking her legs under her, then putting her weight on her right hip, then her left, shuffling around until he loses his patience.

“Could you stop fucking moving, what is your problem?” he snaps, looks over to her furrowed brows and mouth turned into a frown.

“I can’t get comfy!” she says, a slight whine in her voice, and he doesn’t know if she’s being bratty or if she really is just frustrated. 

“Just sit your ass down, (Y/N), it can’t be that hard.” 

“Whatever,” she mumbles and stays in the position she is in.

That is, until her squirming starts up again not even ten minutes later, with her sitting on her hands, then wringing them between her thighs, making him unable to focus on the movie. 

“That’s it,” he growls and without a second thought he hauls her up, ignores her screech of protest as he positions her between his thighs, holds her upper body tight while his legs secure hers.

“Nicholas, what the fuck?! Let me go!”

“What the fuck you so restless for, huh?” he breathes against her ear, but it’s in no way sexual. He needs her to hold still.

“Just let me go up to my room, please,” she whines, throws her head back, and he wonders what the hell has gotten into her when he remembers that, oops, he has been keeping her from going upstairs to play with her little friend.

His stepsister is horny, he realizes. 

A dirty smirk spreads along his face as he grips her tighter, makes her lean against him as he cages her in.

“Why? What’s so important in your room?” he asks, all fake cluelessness, loves watching her squirm when trying to come up with an answer.

She’s hot all over now, he can feel it, and he enjoys it massively. 

“Nothing, ‘m just sleepy, please- Nick, c’mon! This is fucked up!” 

She thrashes against him, but she’s got no chance, there’s a reason why he works out six days a week, and when she’s tired herself out enough, she goes limp against him.

“Tell ya what,” Nichola says, smug in how conversational he sounds, how nonchalant as he repositions her, puts her against his side, her wrists clutched in one strong hand and her leg hiked up against his stomach where he holds her thigh firmly, doesn’t let her get away. Her core is pressed against his hipbone, partially his thigh, and he feels like he’s dreaming as he does this, like this isn’t real life with real life consequences, that’s how badly he wants it. “If you need it that badly, you’ll give it to yourself against my hip, okay? But that’s the only way, (Y/N), you hear me? The only way.”

Her eyes are wide as saucers where they’re staring at him, mouth agape. She’s so small like this, clutched in his grip, and he wishes he could kiss her, but it’s not time for that, not yet. 

“W-what?” she whispers faintly.

“You heard me. If you need it, then this is how you’ll do it. And if not, then you’ll sit here, all still and pretty, and finish this movie with me. And when I let you go up to your room, you won’t touch, am I understood?”

“You’re fucking insane,” she spits, eyes on fire but her cheeks are red.

Nicholas chuckles, shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

He continues watching the movie and pays her no mind apart from making sure his grip stays too tight for her to get out of. Her breathing is hard, audible, but he ignores it, acts like she’s the weirdo for thinking that this is weird, and when she finally starts squirming again, he has to bite his lip to suppress a smirk.

“Why are you making me do this?” she whispers through a huff, decidedly not looking at him.

“’m not making you do anything. It’s your decision whether you wanna be good or not.”

She scoffs. “You’re so messed up. I can’t believe I have to fucking live with you, put up with… with this shit.”

He shrugs, nonplussed. He knows she doesn’t mean it. Their relationship has never been lovey-dovey, but they’ve never been outright nasty to each other, not even during the hardest times of adjusting in the beginning. 

“Shut up and watch the movie, (Y/N),” he says, dismisses her, enjoys how she’s stewing in her anger and frustration.

It’s miniscule when it starts, the slight flexing of her thighs. Nicholas can feel it, but he doesn’t move, lets her do her thing in the hopes that she’ll get bolder with it, give herself over to her needs. He imagines her clenching her pussy, trying to get friction on her clit that way, wonders how she prefers to come. A strong exhale snaps him out of his thoughts, the way she moves further down his body, again, seeming like she’s settling in against him, but he knows she’s looking for a good angle. 

The fact that her subtility- usually a trait she possesses perfectly- goes flying out the window once she’s horny enough, needy enough, is something he stows away to use against her later, when he needs it. He’s observant, sue him, it’s just natural. 

A few minutes pass before she takes the next step, tightening her leg around him through a cough, ridiculously so. Why’d she have to cough, he thinks bemusedly, it’s not a sound she’s trying to cover up, but a movement. Wide hips and an undoubtedly needy cunt, that’s what she’s currently rolling against him, slowly and irregularly. He feels frustrated for her, there’s no way this is doing anything to help, and it shows in the way she huffs every now and then, impatience building.

“Just do it,” he whispers, keeps his voice calm and his chest even despite his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. “You can, what’re you scared of?”

The breath rushing out of her lungs is shaky as she turns her head and buries her face in his shoulder, a groan escaping her.

“Please, Nick,” she whines- sobs, almost- as he trails his hand down to her tailbone, pushes her flush against him, encourages her to rotate her hips and rub herself against him.

“That’s a good girl, just like that,” Nicholas whispers, nose in her hair, smelling the faint scent of roses. “Give in, that’s it. You can make yourself feel good, it’s okay.”

She positions herself so she gets more of his thigh between her legs and starts humping him in earnest, breathing open-mouthed against his shoulder, and he so badly wishes she would look at him, wants to see the flush on her cheeks and the tears in her eyes. 

“Does that feel good? Tell me, (Y/N).” She nods, but he isn’t satisfied. “Use your words like a big girl, c’mon. Don’t go dumb on me yet.” 

Her whine is high-pitched as she takes a moment to gather the courage, but when she does speak, it makes his cock jump where it’s trapped in his pants. 

“Y-yeah, ‘s good… oh, oh fuck.”

When he’s sure she won’t bolt, he lets go of her arms, snakes his hands around her body and guides her movements. Her hands immediately hold onto his torso, face burying in his neck, moist breath against his skin. This feels so much like heaven that he’s dizzy with it. 

“Yeah, that’s nice, ain’t it? Atta girl.”

Her movements are precise, he knows she’s found a way to make it good, to hit her desired spot just right by the way her body is bound tight, and her breathing is labored, words stuttered. That’s all he can see with her gorgeous face turned away from him, but he’ll get there. He grabs her ass and grinds his thigh into her pussy, grins at her surprised moan.

“Holy fuck,” she hisses, cants her hips back and forth across a good spot.

“Yeah, that’s it, just like that. Needed it badly, didn’t you? Your cunt’s been desperate all evening, huh?”

She nods, gives him a broken confirmation, whines when he threads his fingers into her hair and pulls.

“Nnngh, Nick, I need- ugh, I can’t-“

“Yes, you can. Look at me, (Y/N). C’mon, look at me, baby.” 

He’s pushing it with the nickname, but he doesn’t care, not when his dick is leaking steadily in his pants, needy to feel her. Not yet, though, he needs to play his cards right. 

When she looks up it knocks the breath out of his chest, the way her lips are bitten raw, her eyes glazed over, cheeks covered by a pink blush and a slight sheen of sweat. She’s so hot for it, and he’s so hot for her, and he needs her to come so he can go to his room and jerk off while thinking of exactly this scenario for… forever, probably. He’ll never get her out of his system, he just knows it, his baby stepsister anchored deep in his soul.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he breathes, resists the urge to kiss her, but he does put a thumb to her lips and lets her suck a kiss into the pad of it while her hips work tirelessly to get her pussy off. “From now on, whenever you need it this badly, you come to me, okay? You ask me and I’ll help you. Am I making myself clear, (Y/N)?”

She nods dazedly, furrows her brows as her hips start speeding up.

“Y-yeah, Nick, I’ll ask you. Need it, need t’a ask you, need it.”

Nicholas’ heart swells three sizes at her promise and he decides to let her tumble over the edge, grinds his thigh into her center and pushes her ass down to meet the thrusts, smiles wickedly when her eyes roll back.

“You’re gonna come, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, yes-“

“Gonna cream your panties on your big stepbrother’s thigh? That what you need?” Forehead meeting his shoulder, she whines through a pathetic nod, lets him move her up and down before he whispers, “Let go baby. Show me how you come for your brother, c’mon.”

“Nicholas, fuck!”

The sound she makes when she releases rivals an angel choir, breathy and high and so full of ecstasy, he feels he could come right there with her, completely untouched. She rides it out, humps his thigh until she’s shuddering, until she collapses on top of his body to catch her heaving breath.

Nicholas can’t help but pull her tighter against him, hold her through her aftershocks, uncaring about the consequences, about being pushed away. She wouldn’t, no fucking way she would, not when she’s this vulnerable and he’s this willing to help her through any situation. 

They stay like that for a little before he reaches down to take her by the chin, pull her head up to look at him. There are unshed tears in her eyes, a wobbly lip, but he can’t be the one dealing with this now. She needs to settle in on her own. 

“You did so well, ‘m proud of you,” he smiles, shakes her face a little, “you okay?”

Taking a beat, she nods her head, albeit a little hesitantly. 

He smiles at that, lets go of her and darts his eyes to the stairs. 

“Good. Off you go then, get cleaned up and then get in bed. And no touching, yeah?” 

She gets up on wobbly legs, steadies herself against the back of the couch as she slowly makes her way to the stairs. Before she disappears, he calls her name, makes her turn around.

“And remember,” he says, grin smug, “you come to me. Always come to me.”

*** 

It’s summer, and it’s way too hot, and Nicholas usually finishes his daily swim before she even wakes up, but today he decides to take it easy and wait for her to take her usual place on the sunbed before he strides out to cool off in the pool.

They haven’t talked about what happened two nights ago, and they won’t, he knows, not explicitly anyway. Luckily, she isn’t avoiding him, the atmosphere when they’re around each other rather comfortable. It’s a little unnerving and a lot surprising, he must admit, but Nicholas has never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

The way she’s watching him jump into the water, do his laps, lean against the side of the pool to take a breather- none of it goes unnoticed, and he enjoys it immensely. He doesn’t show off on purpose, doesn’t need to, sees her biting her lip at his usual demeanor, no exaggeration needed. When he’s counted his fifty, he heaves himself up and gets out of the pool, her eyes tracking the way his biceps bulge. A smirk makes its way onto his face, all smug, and he doesn’t even try to hide it.

Taking his towel, he wipes his face dry before spreading it across the sunbed next to hers, laying down.

“Mind if I join you?” he asks, hiding his eyes behind a pair of shades.

“Already did, didn’t you?”

He hums. “Guess I did.”

“Want some tanning oil?”

“Depends,” he says, dares to, “will you rub it on me?”

Her snort is full of humor, thank God.  

“Fuck no.”

“Then no, thank you.”

He loves their little banter, is fond of it, endlessly grateful that it hasn’t changed since that one fateful night. The silence stretches as they lay there, letting the rays of the sun warm their skin, and soon enough he hears shuffling coming from her side. Looking up, he can see her gathering her stuff. 

“Leaving already?”

She nods. “It’s Nina’s birthday dinner tonight, and I still need to get ready.”

“You’ll show me your outfit before you leave, right?”

Even though he’s phrased it like a question, she knows damn well that it’s an order. This pleases him.

“Yes, of course.”

She’ll go to the shower as she always does, but before she can, he decides to let his little stepsister in on a secret. She’s earned it, after all, being such a good girl for him.

“Have I ever told you that the window in my room gives me a near perfect view of the inside of our outdoor shower?” he lies conversationally, giving her a blinding smile.

Every muscle in her body tenses momentarily before she turns her head towards him ever so slowly. Her hard swallow is audible, even out here, even to him.

“No,” she rasps, voice shaky, “You never told me that, Nicholas.”

“Hm. Well, just thought you should know.”

He leaves it at that, lays back on his back, trying hard not to smirk. He can sense how this admission is fucking her up on the inside, the shock and the danger tied to it. 

He’s so sure she’ll let it go, but as has become a theme with her, she takes him by surprise when she asks, “Did you only notice? Or… did you- did you watch? Me?”

Brave little girl, he’s almost proud.

Keeping his voice borderline bored, he replies, “I watched, a little. You don’t seriously believe I could look away from a pretty little thing like you, (Y/N).”

He pulls his shades down a little and eyes her body, gives her a nasty smirk before leaning back again.

When she huffs, stalks away to get into that damn shower, he gives her all of ten seconds before he’s after her, sneaking in behind her and catching her just in time to see her bikini top fall away. When she spots him leaning against the entrance, a gasp escapes her, hands flying up to cover herself.

The gesture makes him scoff, all ridicule. 

“Please,” he says, looks her in the eye, “nothing I ain’t seen before, sweetheart.”

A frown makes its way onto her face, petulant and bratty in a way she usually isn’t, and she slowly lowers her hands, gives him an eyeful of her tits. They’re even more gorgeous up-close, and he chuckles dirtily, looks his fill.

“That’s so unfair, Nick,” she tuts, “You look at mine but won’t show me yours?”

His smile softens a little. 

“You’re lookin’ at it,” he says, arms out as if to say: there ya go! “I haven’t seen anything past your waistline, (Y/N).” The look she gives him is skeptical, but he knows what sincerity looks like, knows how to make it visible on his own face. She believes him. “Unless, you want to, of course. In which case…”

A pointed glance at her bikini bottoms has her cross her arms over her chest, scoffing.

“You wish,” she snaps, turns around and ends the conversation.

He lets her.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart. But remember your one rule, yeah? You need it, you ask your big brother for help. Got it?”

When she scoffs, doesn’t say anything, chooses to ignore him, he lets himself lose a tiny thread of patience. Three steps take him towards her where he grabs her soaking wet hair, really drives his fingertips into her scalp, and yanks her back so hard her knees buckle through her obnoxious shriek.

“I asked you something, (Y/N),” he hisses, uncaring that her frantic nod makes her cause herself pain, pulling at her hair like that.

She’s grabbing at his arm as she yelps, “Yes, yes I got it, Nicholas, I got it-“

“Good,” he grits, shoves her away from him and eyes her up and down before leaving the shower, leaving her to carefully pat at her surely burning scalp. 

He had to leave, or he would’ve done some damage. Nicholas hates when she ignores him. 

Despite everything, or maybe even because of it, she knocks on his door later to get his approval for her outfit. He takes his time looking at her, makes her twirl for him, reaches under her shirt to make sure the material is thick enough to keep her warm throughout the evening. Nicholas makes her bend down as he kisses her cheek sweetly, resting his forehead against her temple.

“’m sorry,” he apologizes again, truly feeling sour at his outburst, “you be careful, and call me if you need anything, yeah?”

She nods, doesn’t say anything for a long moment before she moves her face, presses a kiss to his forehead. A soft smile directed at him is the last thing he sees before she leaves. 

*** 

It’s been a while since he’s heard the buzzing from the other side of the wall, and now that it’s cutting through the comfortable silence on this warm evening, it makes red hot fury rise in his chest.

Nicholas would consider himself a patient, understanding young man, but with how she’s been playing him, he doesn’t see his positive traits lasting for much longer. He’s been clear, twice now- made her repeat his rule, even- and yet she’s in there, defiling her precious cunt with that… that fucking toy. He hates it.

Without thinking much about it he walks out of his room and steps in front of her door, that annoying sound following him like the plague, before he bursts into her bedroom, stopping in his tracks at the scene before him.

The scoff leaves his lips before he can hold it back. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

She’s on her back, legs bent and in the air, hands hidden between her thighs. The wide-eyed look she gives him- full of fear and shock- makes his gut churn. That fucking sound. He needs it off, right now.

“That fucking-“ he snaps, walks over to her and snatches the damn thing out of her hands, turns it off and throws it on the bed. Impulse has him grip her throat, revel in the way her pulse is hammering against his palm, pull her close, terrified gaze meeting his stormy eyes. He doesn’t care. He told her, and now look at her disrespect. “What the fuck did I tell you, huh?”

“Nicholas, wh- what are you-“

He shakes her, not gently, grabs her hair in his other hand so she’d look at him. “What is your rule, (Y/N)? Hm? The one fucking rule I gave you, and here you are, breaking it, fucking-“ he blindly pats the bed in search for the toy, finds it, holds it up to her, “-for this? This thing? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

She doesn’t comprehend, he can tell, and although he usually loves when he’s got her speechless and dumb, now it just pisses him off beyond belief. There’s no way she didn’t know, no fucking way she didn’t know.

“Explain yourself,” he hisses, grips her tighter, wedges himself between her spread thighs and does his best to ignore the warmth emitting from that place. He’s willing to give her a chance, and she better not waste it. 

“I- I didn’t-“ she whimpers, swallows, “I didn’t know you were being- being actually serious, I… I was s-scared.”

The tears in her eyes are threatening to overflow and Nicholas feels his cock twitch at that. Good, let her cry.

He scoffs. “And you expect me to believe that, after everything?”

“What if I had been wrong and you had been fucking with me all along?” she yells, then, surprises him with the way she fights through the tremor in her voice. “You would’ve deemed me a freak and- and shunned me, and then what? Then I’d be without a brother, and- I’d hate- hate that. So much. Fuck!”

He can feel his gaze soften along with his grip on her hair, butterflies exploding in his stomach. His little stepsister needs him, needs him way more than he needs her, apparently, needs him in a way that is so beyond sexual that it makes his head spin. He can work with that, will work with that, until she’s nothing but a thin thread wrapped around his little finger, nothing but a miniscule puddle of putty in his wide palm. 

He suppresses a smirk, turns it into a warm smile, instead. 

“Oh, baby,” he coos, scoots closer and rests his forehead against hers, feels her heaving chest and warm breath, “you’ll never be without me again, you hear me? There’s nothing you could do that would turn me away from you. Now that we’re siblings, this shit is forever, do you understand? Tell me, (Y/N).”

Her eyes are screwed shut but she nods at his demand, inhales deeply and exhales slowly, calming herself like a big girl. His big girl.

“Ye-yeah, I guess,” she murmurs, “I do now.”

He hums, leans in and presses their mouths together, a dry press with explosive consequences. His heart starts hammering in his chest when she lets out a sigh against his lips, and he breaks away with a smile, looks her in the eye.

“Okay?”

She nods, licks her red, red lips. Another kiss, just as chaste. He won’t give in, not yet. 

“Now,” he starts, puts the bass back in his voice, “this… this can’t go unpunished, though, you get that, right?”

Her eyes widen while her brows furrow, confusion evident on that gorgeous face. He looks at her sheepishly.

“W-why? It wasn’t, like, on purpose.”

Nick chuckles, finds the toy easily, turns it over in his hands. It’s slightly sticky where it’s been pressed against her, but he doesn’t mind. He intends to make it messier. 

“Accidents can happen, of course,” he drawls, allows, “but this early on in our relationship? Nah, don’t think so.”

With that he switches the toy on, leans back and pushes her thighs apart, moves slow and deliberate. Her gaze stays questioning up until he presses the buzzing vibrator against her cunt fully, watches when her leg twitches. She’s beautiful down here, wet and swollen, lips that will frame the fat length of his cock nicely, a sweet little clit that he’ll love to torture to completion. He’s got so many plans for her, but for now he ignores the salivating of his mouth and focuses his eyes on her rolled back ones, turns the vibe up a notch and smirks wickedly.

“You wanted to come, little sister?” he asks, chuckles darkly, “I’ll make you come. Over and over and over, until you beg me to stop.” Another press of the button, another violent lurch of her upper body that he holds down no problem, “And when you do start to beg,” he hisses, presses closer, revels in her whining and gasping, “I will ignore it, and make this pussy sob for me again, you hear me?” 

Nicholas smiles as she comes, spasms so hard he almost loses his tight grip on her, but thankfully his body is big enough to keep her thighs apart around it. Where only minutes ago he hated the sound of this little tool, he now ignores it expertly, presses it against her clit and appreciates the help it gives him. Her wails, the punching of her fists against the mattress through her next orgasms would alert everyone in the house if it weren’t empty, and he can’t wait to hear those sounds when he’s got her impaled on his dick.

“Please, no more, no-“

“Take it,” he says, flicks his wrist, “Give me more, c’mon.”

“Nicholas, I can’t!” she sobs, grabs the sheets to hold on to something, to bear the assault on her cunt better. “Hurts, Nick, please, hurts!”

“Good,” he smiles, turns it all the way up after her fifth peak, “Let it hurt, baby, let this pussy submit to me. Let her say her goodbyes to this goddamn thing,” he can’t help but snarl, “I’ll be all you need from now on, yeah, everything this pussy needs. Your big brother, your owner, all in one, huh?” 

Her last orgasm has her thrash against his hold, throwing her head back, but he keeps his hand right where it hurts the most, forces her to ride it out until her bones shake with it. 

When he finally, finally turns the toy off and tosses it aside, he carefully gathers her shivering body in his arms, holds her face against his neck and rocks her back and forth. Nick makes sure her legs stay spread where they’re shaking uncontrollably, makes sure nothing toucher her overstimulated pussy. It’ll take her a while to stop crying, he guesses, he doesn’t want to draw it out more than necessary. 

Say what you want about him, but he’s no monster. 

When her breath has evened out and her tremors have subsided, he lets his hand find her hair and grip it once more, firmly, not cruelly. Looking into her eyes, he smiles, kisses her lips, whispers, “What’s your rule, little sister?”

She shudders but replies, “Wh-when I want to come, I tell you. I ask you for help.” 

He nods, gets up slowly, adjusts his rock-hard cock in his pants. Her wide eyes track every movement, but he stays resilient, turns to leave the room but changes his mind. Two steps take him back to her where he grabs her, pries her mouth open forcefully, spits inside where a whimper is fighting its way out, cracks his hand across one rosy, tear-streaked cheek and gets off on the shocked sob that escapes her.

Straightening out, he moves to the door.

“And don’t you dare ever fucking forget it.”

*** 

It’s not like he’s got some masterplan when it comes to her, it’s not like he’s calm and collected and in control of his mind and body, it’s just that he has strong instincts and even stronger impulses and he can’t help but act on them, not in his life outside of this house he’s sharing with her, but here? Definitely, evidently. 

He isn’t in control, not really, because he loses his mind little by little, every day. When she passes by him on her way to the fridge and drives her hand through his hair, when she smiles at him from where she’s laying on the sunbed, when she lets him watch her shower. The way she asks if he approves of her outfit, if she should make him food, if she can have a hug. 

She’s never asked for a kiss, but he gives her some anyway, knows she wants them by the way she melts into the touches, lets his tongue roam around in that sinful mouth, lets him pull her closer by the grip on her ass. 

The first time Nicholas gives her his cock, not fully, but pushes it between her lips, is when they’re under the shower.

It goes like this: she beckons him to follow her into the outdoor shower so he can oversee that she really does get clean, as he does often, points to her body parts and smiles when she drags her loofah along that spot. He helps her where she can’t reach, gets her back for her, the backs of her thighs, scrubs her clean really well. He’s in his swimwear so he doesn’t mind getting wet, pulls her against his chest, her ass pressed to his crotch, soaps up her tits, massages them, pinches her hard nipples and chuckles at her moan.

Strong hands drift down lower, over her stomach and down to where he knows her cunt is already clenching, getting wet. 

“Have to clean this dirty pussy as well, don’t we?” he whispers before spreading her open with one hand, driving between her folds with the other.

He keeps this step clinical for the most part, takes his time as her breaths starts to get shallow, all the way up until she gives in and with her bottom lip clutched between those perfect teeth asks him, “Big brother, can you please make me come?”

Oh, he’ll never tire of this.

“Of course, baby,” he replies, because this is for him as much as her. Moreso for him, probably. 

Her twitching clit feels hard under his pointer finger where he’s circling it, drawing down to her hole to gather some of her juices to make the glide better, making sure to keep her out of the spray of the water. As expected, her eyes are glued to what he’s doing between her wide hips, moaning softly with every swipe of his finger.

“Mmm, what have we got here?” he asks teasingly as he lets two of his fingers circle her entrance, two because he knows she can take it, “A hungry little hole, hm?” 

They push in easily, make her breath hitch, and he maneuvers them so they’re standing under the shower stream, so it’s aimed right at her exposed clit. His stepsister spasms, but he holds her tightly. The water banging down on her swollen nub, his fingers pressing against that gorgeous spot inside of her, his voice whispering delicious filth in her ear- she’s naïve if she ever thought she stood a chance.

She comes with a silent cry, lets him bear the weight of her shaking body as she lets the sensations overcome her, moans as he talks her through it, good fucking girl, that’s my babysis, if only I had known about how sweet this cunt is, give it to me, just like that, tight little hole and it’s all for me.

When she sinks to her knees slowly, he doesn’t protest. Unsure if the wetness on her face is from the water or her tears, he decides to take it easy on her, pats her head and soothes her as she buries her face in his soaked swim shorts. She finds the tent in them easily, mouths at it, looking up at him from under her clumped lashes.

He scoffs, fondness in every dangerous syllable as he says, “Don’t bare your throat to me unless you want me to fuck it.”

But his little girl, God bless her neediness, soldiers on, licks a stripe up to his navel so his hands would have enough space to pull his shorts down. Mind hazy with the view she’s giving him- her little body beneath him, submitting on her knees- he grabs his cock as it springs free, feeds it into her panting mouth and groans when she doesn’t stop swallowing him down, lets him into the depths of this fuckhole. The bobbing and sucking that immediately follow has him hold on to the wall, knees weak.

“Yeah, yes,” he laughs, delirious with lust, “That’s a good girl, fuck. Who’s been fucking my little sister, huh? Who’s been teaching you to take cock this good?”

She lets him go with a pop, doesn’t say anything as she bunches four of her fingers up and shoves them down her throat, down to the knuckles, not a single gag or splutter leaving her mouth. His ears ring at the sight, and he’d never call her this out loud, but he considers himself more than blessed to have such an eager and naturally talented whore on his hands. The thought of her standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gagging on her own fingers, practicing for her stepbrother’s cock, training that throat for its intended use, spit and tears on the determined lines of her face, makes his pulse quicken and balls throb.

“Fuck,” he growls, grabs her by the hair and shoves in, her nose nestled in his pubes nicely. She struggles, but not much, and he realizes that he wouldn’t care even if she did. He gave her a fair warning. “Fucking perfect, yeah, sucking me so well, take that dick, just like that. ‘m gonna load up your mouth nicely, baby, gonna feed you full, gonna take days for the taste of my jizz to leave your molars, fuck-“

Nick’s orgasm crashes over him full force, has him bend and press even deeper into her mouth, laughing through her whines and protests, the slapping of her hands against whatever body part of his she can reach. She can’t breathe because of him, but he, as well, can’t breathe because of her, so it checks out. When he lets her go, she scrambles away from him, coughs through forceful inhales, wide and scared eyes looking up at him.

“Told you,” he pants, shrugs, “you wanted it.” 

She doesn’t say anything- even if she did, it’d barely come out, he knows, voice shot to shit. He washes himself quickly, rids his skin of the stickiness of her spit, before grabbing her by her upper arm and roughly hauling her to her feet.

“Ouch, you’re hurting me-“

“Shut the fuck up and let me take care of you,” he says, starts washing her sloppily, and he was right. Her voice is hoarse.

“Could do it more gently,” she grumbles, yelps when he bites at her shoulder, soothes the spot with his tongue.

“You’re incredible,” he whispers over the noise of the shower, “That was… talent.”

She chuckles shily, turns to look up at him.

“Can I have a kiss?”

His gut clenches as his face explodes in a smile, pulling her in to kiss her deeply. The way she melts into him, lets herself be held despite knowing what those hands are capable of, makes his heart jump for her.

It’s a sticky situation, but he’s got the upper hand, still.

He has to make sure it stays that way.

*** 

“This tastes vile.”

“No, it doesn’t! Sweet and salty is a classic combination!”

“The textures are weird, though. I need to chew my popcorn thoroughly so I wouldn’t choke on it, and the Malteser is… distracting.”

A snort. “You three years old, Nicholas? Gotta focus on chewing that bad, huh?”

“You little-“

“Ah, stop! That tickles, Nick- ah, no! No, don’t-“

“I’ll show you three years old!”

Laughter, panting, snickering, silence.

“Watch the damn movie, you brat.”

“I’m all out of Maltesers now.”

“Good, that’ll keep you from coming up with these weird concoctions.”

“Tsk. Jerk.”

The sound of lips smacking. 

*** 

Their parents come back earlier than expected. Nicholas isn’t mad at that, but things will become trickier with her now. They’ll have to be sneakier, more careful, but the risk of getting caught makes something hot clench in his stomach. No doubt, they’ll manage well.

He’s asked to pick them up from the airport and he doesn’t object, takes his stepsister with him. The drive is comfortable, she plays her favorite songs, he hums along.

“Oh, Nicky,” their mom sighs when she pulls away from a hug, smiling sheepishly, teeth whiter in contrast with her tan. There’s two people standing next to their parents, Nicholas doesn’t know them. “We told Sandra and Marcus that we’ll drive them home, we didn’t expect (Y/N) to come with you.” 

Oh. Oops. Six people, five seats, that’ll be a tight fit. 

“We can also just take a cab-“

“Nonsense,” their dad interrupts Sandra, “(Y/N) will just sit in Nicholas’ lap, right? Y’all don’t mind, do you, kids?” 

The look he gives them, stern in good old Chavez fashion, leaves no room for argument.

“Um…” her eyes are darting from him to their dad, but Nicholas just shrugs, does his best to look nonchalant. 

“’course not, it’s a short drive. Let’s just hope we don’t get caught.”

His dad brushes him off before he motions for their friends to start walking with them, Nicholas leading the way. (Y/N) stays behind with her mom, talking quietly. The whole way home with her ass perched on his lap? He wills his dick to calm down where it’s chubbing up in his pants, to no avail. His body does what it wants. Having arrived at the car, their dad puts the suitcases in the trunk while the others pile in one after the other, Nicholas’ sister the very last to sit down, getting comfortable on his lap. He groans when she moves roughly to get situated, a small apology falling from her lips. He pinches her side for that, causing her to yelp, gets snapped at by their dad for it. 

“Behave, y’all,” he grumbles, making Nicholas smirk.

(Y/N) still gets uncomfortable when dad scolds her, too apologetic for her own good, but Nick knows there’s very little heat behind the roughly spoken words. It’s what he has in common with his father, he supposes.

They start driving and Nicholas ducks his head as much as he can so they wouldn’t look too suspicious in case they drive by a cop car. The grownups are talking loudly amongst themselves, and he loops his hands around her waist, holds her steady. Her head barely touches the top of the car, and he loves just how small she is. The urge to kiss at the back of her neck is huge, but he resists. He’ll just have to sneak into her room later and put her on her knees, fuck her throat the way he’s been doing for the past few days.

Not much time passes before she starts squirming.

“Y’alright?” he asks her, loosening his hold in case it puts her body in an uncomfortable position.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. All good.”

A beat passes before she does it again, presses her weight down on his lap, making him clench his teeth. There’s no way she can’t feel his boner, and there’s no way he’ll do anything about anything right here, right now. Fucking tease, his sister is. 

“Can you quit it?” he hisses lowly when she honest to God grinds her ass down, makes him dizzy for a split second. The inseam of his jeans has never felt tighter and his dick’s never been more familiar with discomfort than just now.

The giggle she lets out gets muffled by her palm as she glances back at him, all wide-eyed and falsely innocent, and she shrugs.

“Sorry, big brother, ‘s just a little uncomfy like this.”

The way she purrs it, that bittersweet name, makes his gut churn. He has half a mind to keep from pinching her sides, grabbing her hair and shaking her so she’ll stop her shenanigans. If she thinks that she can act out now just because their parents are back home, lulled into false security, she’s got another thing coming.

“That’s a great song, dad. Can you turn it up a little?” he calls, smiling when his dad obliges.

“That’s my boy,” the older man says, ever the rock’n’roll fan.

Now that the music’s loud enough, distracting enough, Nicholas dares to put his lips next to her ear, hiss out a warning. 

“You keep this little charade up and I’ll hurt your cunt until you’re crying on my tongue when we get home, (Y/N).”

It can be interpreted as something sexy, tinged with a little bit of sultry, but she knows better. When he mentions pain, he means pain. She knows that damn well, scared despite the fact that she gets off on it. Nicholas prefers to keep his girl on her toes.

“Sorry,” she whispers, a tilt to her mouth, but when their dad accidentally overlooks a pothole and the car jumps, she lets her weight press down harder than necessary, grabs his thigh to steady herself but digs her little finger in just a little too deep. 

Alright then, he’s warned her.

Her skirt is wide, frilly enough to hide his hand sneaking down between his own legs, up to reach between hers, his eyes trained on the unassuming guests next to them. The couple seems too preoccupied to pay them any mind, though, and he uses that to his advantage, presses his knuckles into his stepsister’s pussy and rubs roughly. Clever little girl, hides her yelp of surprise behind a cough, same way he hides his smirk when he feels the damp fabric, feels the way her clit hardens under his merciless touch.

“You stay quiet now,” he whispers, pulsing his touch against her skin, teasing her into an approaching orgasm. Not that he’ll let her come, not now and not later, for that matter. 

Where only minutes ago her grinding and rocking pissed him off, he now enjoys feeling her chase her pleasure, enjoys how hard she’s trying to be subtle. A quick glance towards the others tells him that nobody is looking at them, still enjoying the music, and her face in the rearview mirror is stoic as well, just a tiny furrow between her brows a potential giveaway, but only to those who know what’s going on, only to Nicholas. 

“Good baby, my good fuckin’ baby,” he rasps, clutches at her pussy and squeezes, makes her feel it.

Another whimper, another cough.

“Y’alright, sweetheart?” their mother then asks, turning down the music, forcing Nicholas to still his hand and hold his breath in hopes of not getting caught. “You’ve been coughing an awful lot during the drive.”

(Y/N) just smiles, shakes her head.

“It’s nothing, mom, just something in my throat. We were watching a movie and having popcorn before picking you guys up, must be a kernel that’s stuck or something.”

Her mom looks back, gaze worried but she nods, placated. 

The rest of the ride home doesn’t take long, thank God, and he lets their parents settle back in, assures them that they’ve eaten, tells them they’ll finish the movie they had started in his room before ushering her upstairs, mildly annoyed at her sudden inability to walk properly.

“The fuck’s gotten into you?” he hisses, pushes her up the stairs.

“’m so wet, my legs feel like jello,” she whimpers, and he almost forces her on her knees right there in the hallway, but alas, he’s got to keep his very last thread of patience alive if he wants to train her to be his perfect little doll. She won’t learn otherwise, he fears.

“You’re cute,” he smiles before pushing his door open, pulling her into the room and immediately making sure she falls onto his bed- made and ready, for a change- watching him as he locks the door. “You’ll be cuter when I’m done with you, though.” 

It doesn’t take long for him to ride her skirt up, pull her panties down and stuff them in her mouth, wet patch first. Her pussy is glistening in front of him, and he wastes no time putting his mouth on it and sucking hard, the pain of the blood rushing to the surface making her groan. Pain, he promised, pain, she’ll get. She peaks quickly but he doesn’t let her go over the edge, pulls away and lands a nasty slap on her pussy that leaves her shaking, leaves her throbbing. 

“That’s what you fuckin’ get you goddamn tease,” he snaps before continuing his pattern.

He eats, waits, slaps. Eats, waits, slaps. 

Holds his palm over her cunt and presses, moves, watches her writhe with the cotton hanging from her mouth, little sister mouth filled with little sister panties. His cock throbs for it. 

When she’s actively crying, sobbing her little heart out, he throws her legs in the air and commands her to hold them up. It’s a testament to her desperation, the way she obliges without complaint, the way she’s been doing as told without a single tone of complaint. Not taking advantage of that would be a shame. Two moves and his cock is free, hanging heavy between his shaky legs but he doesn’t care, grabs it and jerks himself before his knees can give out.

“That’s a good girl, present yourself to your big brother,” he moans, looks at her puffy pussy and her wide, teary eyes, the way she’s begging with them, eyeing the blur of his hand over his fat dick before settling her pleading gaze onto his. “Gonna come, gonna cover you in it, mark my territory and make you smell like me, y’want that, (Y/N)? Want everyone to know that your sweet cunt belongs to your big brother?”

This kink is getting out of hand, but he doesn’t give a single fuck, because where he is sick and rotten, she is, too.

She nods through a moan and there he is, spurting his hot semen all across her slapped-red cunt, covering what’s his from the outside, for now. She gasps when the streaks hit her skin, rocks back and forth while he rides out his climax, and when he’s done, all panting and heavy-lidded, he drives his fingers through the mess and brings it up to her lips, smearing it on her underwear.

“You know this one already, don’t you?” he says, breath heavy as he continues to clean her that way, soiling her panties. “That’s what you did with the thong I ruined, didn’t you? Sucked my jizz out of the lace like a come-addicted little slut, didn’t you? Huh?”

A single tear rolls down her shame-tinted cheek, and he groans through a chuckle.

“Show me. Show me how you did it.”

The ruined cotton gets pulled out between her lips before her tongue finds it, licks the globs away roughly, sweet lips pursing over the material before her little cheeks hollow, sucking his juices out. If he hadn’t been using her every day, he’d be rock hard again now, but alas, his balls are empty and the contents of them are currently being greedily sucked down her talented throat. Nicholas is one lucky guy.

When she’s done, he rips the panties out of her mouth and kisses her bruisingly, hungrily, devours the taste of their combined fluids and moans when she pulls him close. Being held onto is one of Nicholas’ favorite things in the world, the sheer need in such a simple gesture, but nobody’s body has ever felt this right around his. 

“What the fuck,” she whispers against his lips, laughing through the tears that are staining her cheeks. “I feel like I came but I didn’t. What…”

He smiles, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“You’ll be coming soon enough, baby, this was just a little taste of what happens when you piss me off. And you did piss me off, that teasing in the car was- it was almost unbearable. Nearly fucked you right then and there.”

Her smile is small, almost timid, but it vanishes quickly. Nicholas tilts his head in question and gets an answer immediately, albeit reluctantly. 

“Why… Why haven’t you? Fucked me yet, I mean. We’ve been doing this, us, for a while now and you’ve never… I don’t- I’m just wondering, ‘s all.” 

A stutter in his chest tells him his heart’s melting for her, the insecure tilt to her voice, and he has to try hard not to jump her right then and there. Leave it to his girl to catch him off guard, rip at the reigns he’s clutching onto so tightly. He makes sure to keep his voice soft, tries to make her understand without spooking her, now that she’s eating from the palm of his hand like this. 

“You’re the sweetest thing, do you know that?” he muses, taps her chin when she looks away. “I just don’t wanna rush anything. I wanna take my time with you, make it real good for you… You can understand that, right?”

It’s not really a question, but she nods like the good girl she is.

“You that desperate for my cock, (Y/N)?” he can’t help but tease, earning himself a swat to the shoulder. They laugh together, his favorite sound. 

“I was just curious, Nick. Usually guys are, well-“

“I’m not just any guy though, okay?” his voice is stern now, all humor wiped from it. “I won’t treat you like they did. I’m your stepbrother, I care about you.”

The warm smile she gives him zaps him right down to his toes, leaning in so she can kiss him the way she wants to. They make out a little, enjoy each other. 

He makes a mental note, smug about her needing him so badly. A lot can be done with that, and he plans to see just how much fun it’ll bring him.

*** 

The sneaking around is even harder than he imagined, their parents insisting to make up for lost time and not parting from them for even a day. It’s visits to the park, family barbecues, movie nights, the whole shebang. He barely manages to get a kiss in when they’re passing each other in the hallway, a slap to the ass when she walks out of the bathroom before he walks in. 

A feeling of restlessness comes with it, paired with the irrational fear of false scrutiny. What if it’s written all over his face, he thinks, that he wants her, whenever he looks at her, that he’s fighting off the urge to kiss her whenever she’s close, to rest his hand atop her thigh and feel her muscles twitch, to lean his arm against hers when they’re standing close, to bury his nose in her hair and inhale the chamomile scent of her latest favorite shampoo? Poker faces take years to construct, and he’s used the time wisely, but what if, now that he has her, his has crumbled to pieces at his unsteady feet?

So Nicholas adjusts, turns away when he catches her looking for too long, keeps the touching to a minimum, makes sure to roll his eyes at her whenever their mom is around, makes sure to let some sour jokes slip whenever their dad listens in, just to keep the illusion up.

He makes do, as does she, even though he knows she doesn’t like it.

“I ain’t mean it like that, you know that,” he cajoles when she gets mad for real, squeezes at his heart with one well-placed pout. 

“I know, ‘s just… it sucks, y’know?”

Well, if that ain’t true.

He holds her through some big feelings, as a big brother should, kisses it better whenever the opportunity arises. 

“Is she still not up? What’s gotten into her, I told her the time of departure!”

“Relax, mom, we’ve still got another forty minutes,” Nicholas says through a mouthful of an apple, scrolling on his phone. It pings with an invite to a party next Saturday, and he saves the info to think it over later. 

“Oh, you know how long she takes in the bathroom,” mom grumbles, fleets about in the kitchen to pack the snacks and sandwiches, making sure they’re set for the day at the lake. Nicholas doesn’t know where his dad is. “Go wake her, please, Nick? I’ve still got so much to pack.”

“Do you need my help with that?”

“No, I need to not be interrupted. Go get (Y/N), please?”

He sighs and gets up, throws the apple core away. Sticky hands find his jeans and he wipes them thoughtlessly, much to the dismay of the woman who still does his laundry, as he makes his way up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. He knocks twice- just for shits and gigs, uncaring about whatever privacy his sister thinks she gets in this house- before opening her door and stopping in his tracks. 

Slow steps take him inside, shutting the door behind himself, and the sight before him makes his stomach clench. She’s in her tank top, one boob spilling out from the material, and her little panties, framing her cheeks perfectly from where she’s got one leg bent. Her face is smushed in the pillow so her mouth purses in a pout, half open, red and drooly. 

It takes him a split second to make the decision. They haven’t talked about it, but they never talk about anything, not really. He takes and she gives, that’s their dynamic, that’s who they are. So it’s guilt-free when he walks over to her bed, pulls his joggers and underwear down, grips his cock to stroke it to hardness. 

The memory of how he had her throat around his cock every night before the return of their parents gets him there fast, makes him miss it even more now, the need pooling low in his gut. 

There’s precome dripping from his slit and he bends his knees a little so her face is in front of his crotch, smears his cockhead on those full lips, smirks when she scrunches her nose up before her face relaxes again. Heartbeat in his throat, he does it again, groans when her tongue darts out this time. Her reflexes seem to revolve around fucking him up, making the darkest of thoughts push to the forefront of his mind, even in her sleep.

“Good fuckin’ girl, fuck,” Nick murmurs under his breath, jerks his cock faster and makes sure to bump against her lips on every upstroke, gloss her gorgeous pout with his essence. She’s so adorable, and all his to ruin. 

He strokes himself a little faster, gets closer and pulls his cock up so his balls would bump against her chin, her nose, wherever they can reach on every upstroke. Laughing isn’t an option but he’d like to, let the dirty sound out, indulge fully in how he’s humiliating her without her knowledge. Maybe he’ll ask her if he can film her next time. He loves her, she knows that, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, would only do all the baddirtywrong things that make her pussy clench for him.

One hand reaches out to grab at her face and pinch her cheeks, create a delicious pout that serves as the perfect little cup when he finally spills onto her face, onto her lips, streaks the inside of her mouth and groans lowly when her lashes flutter around her slowly opening eyes.

“Wh-“

“Shut up,” he hisses, grabs her rougher as he rides out his orgasm, “take it, little girl, take it, have my come, taste it, atta girl, there she is-“

“Nicholas!” the whine bubbles out of her throat, somewhat garbled through the come covering her mouth, and she scrunches her face up when he lets her go, exhales deeply before holding his softening dick out to her.

“Well?” he asks, expectant look on his face and the ball of pride in his chest explodes into a million fuzzy feelings when she only contemplates for a second before taking him in her mouth, cleaning him up.

She swallows all he gave her, collects everything from around her mouth onto her tongue, lips smacking at the taste.

“What the hell was that?” she asks, no real heat behind her words. Her voice is shot from sleep, all raspy and adorable.

He bends down to press a kiss against her forehead.

Nick gives her a shrug.

“You got my come, don’t complain,” he tells her, matter-of-factly, “also, mom wants you downstairs ASAP. We’re leaving soon.” 

Her annoyed huff is amusing to him, but he leaves her be for now, wants to keep the teasing for later. 

“Oh, and (Y/N)?” He waits for her to look at him. “I’ll make it up to you later. Come find me in the outdoor shower when you’re done, we’ll make it quick.”

The blush on her cheeks stays with him all the way downstairs. 

TAGLIST:

@nicholaschavezslut69 / @blackynsupremacy / @motherismotheringggg / @lalavenderangel / @niteskysx / @nicholaslut / @nicholaschavezbby / @emluvsuxo 🖤

[popeabbot]

Calm before the storm

18+ readers beware

(Chat I’m gonna be honest I did not proofread this, my life has been insane so I cranked it out as soon as I could. Spoilers for episode 13 of you aren’t caught up on The Pitt)

Dr. Micheal “Robby” Robinavitchxf!Dr.reader

Tags: established relationship (married), age gap (bc ofc we love to sexualize old men here), violence, gore, death, gun violence, hurt/comfort, PTSD, ptsd related episodes, panic attacks, mentions of drug use

Wc:3.8k

~Normally you and Robby both take today off, but when he gets called in you decide to take Jake and Leah to Pitt Fest, only for it to take a turn for the worse~

“What are you doing?” You hummed into your husband's neck as he tried to crawl out from under you.

“Just gotta get up honey,”

“Bullshit it’s 5:30 and we agreed to stay in today. We’re taking the kids to Pitt fest remember?” You untangled your legs from his and sat up on his lap, wiping the sleep for your eyes.

“I have to work…I don’t want to but they’re down an attending and Gloria’s already up my ass I don’t need her to be up yours too if I don’t show.”

You frowned. Everyone knew what today was, especially Gloria.

“She’s a heartless bitch.” You pouted, crossing your arms defensively. Micheal couldn’t help but laugh at the sight, he kissed you, using the kiss as a distraction to get out of bed.

“Hey!” You shouted playfully, “no distraction kisses mister!” You got out of bed and threw on whatever tee shirt you could find before trailing behind Micheal to the bathroom. Your usual morning routine was quiet today, normally the two of you would make a game plan for the day. It was about this time you’d start calling him Robby, but not today. He needed to be Micheal Robinavitch for as long as possible before being ‘Dr. Robby’ for the rest of the day.

“Here’s some coffee, we’ll be by later to get the passes so you can see us off,” You smiled warmly, passing Micheal a to-go cup and his backpack.

“Wow, my wonderful wife already had my stuff ready for me! What would I do without you?” He questioned pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Well you’re an old man so you’d probably have a hard time on your own, that’s why I’m here,” you giggled as he rolled his eyes. With another kiss and a playful slap to your ass he was gone.

Robby’s headed your way, please keep an eye on him?

Already on it.

Thank god for Dana. You silently prayed that today would be an easy day. But who were you kidding, he was walking into The Pitt, and it didn’t have that name for no reason.

——

“I could’ve picked you up!” You kicked the door to your house shut as Jake walked in, waving off his uber.

“It’s no problem really! I needed the quiet drive to calm down.” You couldn’t help but smile at Jake’s apparent nervousness. He had friends who were girls but never an actual girlfriend. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how he looked just like Robby when the two of you started to date.

“You look like Robby,” you laughed. “scared shitless, but don’t be! Leah is gonna have a great time and I get to be cheesy and third wheel!”

“Honestly I’m glad it’s just one of you and not you and Robby. You guys are so gross together!” Jake pretended to gag at the idea of you and Robby being romantic. You were just glad you could come in and be stepmom without disruption, Jake was just hitting puberty when the two of you got married but he accepted you almost immediately. He really had become not only a friend but your son.

When are you and Jake coming by? It's been a morning, Robby’s had 3 coffees before 11am.

Technically 4…..but you wouldn’t tell Dana that.

Jake just pulled up, let me change and we’ll head your way.

You changed out of your pjs into some more comfortable outdoor clothes and packed up festival essentials before heading to the hospital. You and Jake walked into what seemed to be a normal day in the Pitt, minus the obvious influx of student doctors it seemed like another day in fucked up paradise.

“Hey Jay!” Dana smiled brightly and pulled Jake into a hug, Jake always made everyone’s day brighter when he came in. You took a moment to scan the floor, your husband was nowhere to be found. You looked back to Dana to see everyone quizzing him on Leah, and giving him condoms.

“Hey! Did y’all forget his favorite step mom is third wheeling? We’re not gonna need those!” Jake’s face quickly turned red as he turned on his heel and booked it to Langdon. “So?” You questioned, walking up to Dana once she was alone.

“Well we’ve had a kid OD, a woman’s foot fully degloved after she got pushed onto train tracks, two adult children having to let their father go after putting him on a vent against his wishes, rats, the Kraken is awake and those are only the highlights.”

“And it’s only lunch!” You breathed out surprised.

“Well Mrs. Robinavitch, how nice of you to join us.”

“Not today Gloria you only get one Robinavitch!” You spun around with a tight smile plastered on your face. “I’m taking Jake to Pitt fest. My husband and I were supposed to go together but it looks like yall go busy.”

“Doctor-“ Gloria had that stern look on her face you couldn’t stand, but you spotted Robby just behind her and found your way out.

“Gloria I would love to chat about why you’re mad at me and bullshit like that but my husband needs help with a patient!” You swiftly walked past Gloria, locking your arm in with Robby’s and walking down the hall.

“Hi Honey,” Robby kissed your cheek softly, you could feel the tension in his body relax as you wrapped your arm around his waist.

“How are you?”

He let out a ragged sigh. “As fine as I can be. Myrna just hit on me again, so at least some things stay the same around here.”

You smiled softly at him before pulling him into a tight hug, having to stand on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck. He took a deep breath into your collarbone, inhaling the sweet perfume he loved.

“God I wish we were home curled up in bed.” He groaned.

“Your shift will be over before you know it.” You kissed him again.

“Gross!” Jake shrieked, interrupting your tender moment. Robby laughed, throwing his head back and kissed you again, harder. He gave your hips a tight squeeze before throwing his arm around Jake, leading him to the nurses station. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Even though Jake’s mom and Robby weren’t together, Jake was his son 100%.

“Mom wanted to know how you were doing,” Jake rubbed the back of his neck as you walked up to him in the middle of his conversation with Robby.

“Well that’s very sweet of her. Again, I really am sorry about missing Pitt Fest but you’ll have fun with the girls.” Robby smiled, putting 3 carded lanyards in Jake’s hand.

“You still free for Basketball Sunday?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Robby pulled Jake into a tight hug. “Hey when am I gonna meet this girl? I’m kind of pissed your stepmom gets to meet her before I do.”

“Soon I promise! But hopefully not too soon, everyone’s been weirding me out giving me their advice….and condoms.”

“Wait.” Robby turned to fully face Jake “are you having sex?”

You ran up and kissed Robby’s cheek before grabbing Jake and leaving. “Bye we’ll send pics!”

—

You and Jake walked up to the security entrance for Pitt Fest, standing at the side of the entrance was a tall girl with long golden brown hair, she smiled when she saw Jake.

“Oh she’s cute!”

“Please don’t embarrass me.” Jake sighed, but smiled back at Leah, his cheeks warm.

“Hey Jake!” Leah hugged Jake tightly, she smiled at you shyly when she pulled away. “Hi Mrs. Robinavitch, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Call me Honey please, or Robin, everyone does.” You hugged her. “I’m glad to finally meet the person who’s been making Jake so happy!”

You decided to keep your distance and let the kids have their time as you walked around the festival, some of the artists were still setting up but there was plenty of food, art and shopping to enjoy. But your mind was other places. Specifically worrying about Robby. He looked worn out when you saw him. He had clearly been agitated and was covering it up, but you knew that eventually it would spill over.

The kids are having fun, Leah is a nice girl. I can’t wait for you to meet her! Miss you, love you, don’t forget to breathe.

You knew he wouldn’t see or reply to it immediately but it was there when he would need it.

Before you even realized it a few hours had past, you smiled listening to Leah and Jake rant and rave about their favorite artists, arguing over songs, albums and music theories. You had truly never seen him this happy around a girl and it made your heart swell.

Until the shots started.

You’d lived in the city, and been around guns enough growing up to know what gunfire sounded like.

“Jake, Leah, stay close.” You warned the giggling kids, trying to lead them away from the stage you were currently occupying.

“What’s going on?”

Before you could answer Jake chaos broke out. Masses of people screaming and crying, all headed your way. You grabbed Jake and Leah and ran with the crowd, trying to spot where the gunfire was coming from as people started to drop like flies.

You needed a place to hide. Or make it to the entrance as fast as possible. In the chaos a man knocked you down, separating you from the kids.

“Goddamnit!” You cursed, curling up in a ball to protect yourself from the herd of people running above. When you found your moment you pushed yourself up, scanning the lawn for Jake and Leah.

And then you saw them.

Jake was crouched over the top of Leah, the grass turning a shade of crimson underneath her.

“Jake!” You ran to them and collapsed next to him. “Are you hurt?” He shook his head, looking down at Leah. It didn’t look good.

“I-I - the bullets came out of nowhere” Jake choked out.

“Listen to me. Run to the entrance as fast as you can, don’t look back, don’t stop to help anyone,” you gripped Jake’s shoulders tightly to ground him to what you were saying. “Flag down any EMT you can find and tell them I’m coming with a female with a GSW to the chest. Can you do that?”

Jake nodded, you kissed his forehead and when the lawn was clear he bolted.

“Leah? Baby can you hear me?” You put a finger to her pulse, it was ragged, she was loosing a lot of blood. Jake had taken his jacket off and was using it to put pressure to the wound. You ripped your belt off and did the best you could to assemble a makeshift tourniquet. Leah mumbled something about how it hurt, her skin turning glossy. “It’s gonna hurt like hell but you’re gonna be okay.”

“W-where’s Jake?”

“Getting help, we’re going to meet him. Hold on tight.” You picked Leah up bridal style and bolted for the entrance. The screaming, crying and constant gunfire would’ve sent anyone into a frenzy, even you. But not today, today you had people who depended on you. Jake stood at the entrance with Logan, a paramedic you knew.

“Her name is Leah Fisher, one GSW to the chest. The bullet didn’t go all the way so there’s probable internal and external bleeding. She’s losing a lot of blood. I made a tourniquet with my belt but she needs blood now and blood when she gets to the hospital.” You turned from Logan to Jake. “Jake. Keep her awake. I love you.” You hugged him tightly.

“Where are you going?”

“To help. There’s people down that aren’t dead yet, we need to save as many people as we can.” And with that, you ran back into the chaos.

-The Pitt

The ER was chaos,different triage points were color coordinated in different parts of the ER to try and keep some form of control. The night shift had been called in early with the influx of bodies. Robby had tried to call you and Jake multiple times when he first heard about the shooting but neither of you had answered, your last text kept flashing in his mind.

The kids are having fun, Leah is a nice girl. Miss you, love you, don’t forget to breathe.

Don’t forget to breathe. The day was already wearing on him. He’d already lost too many people, but they were saving a lot of people too. He had to remember that. Robby would never admit to anyone that he almost broke when Jack Abbot walked in.

He stood in front of the ER staff, day and night shift and immediately went into action walking them through combat medicine. The entire ER would have to become one steady unit if they were going to make it through the night. Once Jack finished prepping everyone the bodies started rolling in.

Robby helped bounce from patient to patient. So far their survival rate was 1 in 3….wasn’t looking good. His armour was starting to crack, only Abbott, Langdon and Dana could see it. So they floated what they could.

Robby was about to throw Langdon out of the hospital from their previous conversation when Leah and Jake rolled in.

“Jake?!” Robby ran to Jake as one of the nurses assessed Leah. “Are you hurt?”

“Um. Ya my leg, but I think it went all the way through. Is Leah going to be okay? I put pressure on her chest the whole time, mom even made a tie with her belt.”

“Wait.” Robby looked up to see you weren’t with the kids. “Where is she? Your stepmom?”

“She went back.”

Robby cursed under his breath. Of course you were going to be selfless and go back in to help as soon as you knew your kids were in good hands. Robby passed Jake off to a nurse promising to do the best he could and went back to work on Leah.

It was bad. They all knew she wasn’t going to make it but Robby tried anyways. Intubate. Chest compressions. Push O-neg.

“Open another line for FFP and platelets!” Robby shouted.

“Are you sure?” Dana questioned. All Robby had to do was shoot her a look before she did exactly what he asked. Robby switched with the nurse to do chest compressions but every pulse check was the same. Nothing. But Robby refused to let her die.

He pushed as much blood as they could spare before Jack came up next to him.

“The bullet tore through her heart.”

“I know.”

“This isn’t part of our mass casualty plan brother. You might have to let her go.”

Robby could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t lose another patient. Not this patient. He continued another round of compressions, stopping when the final pulse check was still no Carotid and no femoral.

“Do you want me to go with you to talk with Jake?” Abbot asked, placing a hand on Robby’s shoulder.

“No, no I’ll do it.”

The conversation with Jake did not go well, Leah’s death was the final crack in Robby’s armour and Jake’s understandably upset reaction to her death sent Robby into a full blown breakdown. He curled up in the corner of the press room and let out everything that had been building up from the moment he clocked in. The sobs tore through him violently, all he could do was curl into himself hoping they would stop. Everything leading to this moment, every bad memory, every patient he couldn’t save, every person he let down, over looked, it was all coming to a head in this moment. He’d been holding this panic attack in since he clocked in and it steamrolled into a full on breakdown.

He clenched his shaking hands together as he tried to breathe, people needed him. His patients, his students, his son. You were out there somewhere helping people in the middle of the storm, he had to control it, but he didn’t want to. Robby didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, minutes? hours? A knock on the door snapped him out of it.

“Robby…” Dana’s voice was gentle but it held a sense of urgency.

“She’s here. It’s bad.”

—

“Female, 30’s, multiple GSWs, one to her hip, one to her lower left abdomen. She was conscious on the ride over but we lost her transferring from the gurney to the bed” An EMT shouted over your head, Jack was the one to receive you, a look of fear washed over him.

“Hey, honey can you hear me?” He rubbed your chest with his knuckles. “I need you to wake up.” His tone was clinical, he had to set his emotions aside. “Get a crash cart! Charge it to 200!”

Mateo ran over with a crash cart, setting the pads up, it only took one shock to bring you back. Your eyes shot open as you tried to sit up immediately.

“Sarah?! Sarah!!”

“Who’s sarah?” Jack asked, fighting to lay you back down despite your injuries.

“Jack Rabbit!! Sh-she’s a little girl, I had her with me. I was getting her back to her mom and dad-“ your heart rate spiked, you were distraught. “Sarah!”

“She’s fine,” Logan, the paramedic who brought you in, ran over to your bed. “As soon as we pulled up to PTMC her parents were waiting. She’s just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You sobbed. Robby ran to you as Jack laid you down.

“Pupils are reactive to light, but it looks like she might have a head injury,” one of the nurses shouted over your head, causing you to wince. She lightly pressed your face looking for facial fractures but thankfully you’d covered it well enough from the stampede.

“Her pulse is thready, could be adrenaline, could be something else.” Jack spoke low to Robby. He nodded.

“Hey sweetheart, let’s get you checked out.” They stripped you down to get a look at both wounds. Robby grimaced at the bruises you were covered in, you had cracked at least 2 or 3 ribs when you’d been stomped.

The shot to your abdomen looked clean through and through with minimal bleeding, but there was no exit wound to your hip.

“Let’s see if we can stop the bleeding to her abdomen then we’ll worry about the hip I need gauze!” Nurses worked to stop the bleeding on both sides, Robby took a stethoscope and placed it on your stomach to listen to your breathing, it was getting clearer.

“Her abdomen isn’t distended, there’s only slight tenderness around the wound but nothing to suggest a peritonitis or a peritoneal hemorrhage. Let’s stitch her up and push O Neg.”

You were beginning to fall in and out of consciousness, only catching bits and pieces of what everyone was saying. You knew Jack and Robby were there, but eventually you succumbed to the darkness.

—

You woke up to the sound of the organized chaos you were used to hearing in the Pitt, a heart monitor beeped steadily above you and you became aware of the oxygen hose in your nose. Your whole body hurt. You began to remember why you were laying in a hospital bed, there was a shooter at Pitt Fest.

“Jake??” you tried to move suddenly but your body screamed in retaliation. You looked around the room, your eyes falling on Robby, curled up in an arm chair next to you. Even while sleeping he looked tired, the bags around his eyes darker than usual. His stress lines were set deep. This was not how today was supposed to go. He was still in his bloodied scrubs, once blue were now a shade of muddied purple. Jake was nowhere to be seen, making your heart rate spike.

“Hey honey, he’s with Leah’s family.” Jack leaned against the door frame, arms crossed tightly.

“Oh. Oh poor baby.” You sighed. Truth be told you knew when you ran with Leah to the paramedic she wasn’t going to make it. But you had to try.

“You had us all worried sick you know, coming in battered like that.”

“I had to do something. I left the kids in the best possible hands…that little girl would’ve died if I hadn’t gone back.”

Jack ran his hand over his face and pushed off from the door frame, taking a seat on your bed.

“You’re abdomen is going to be sore for a while, but the shot was clean. The bullet in your hip fractured, we were able to stabilize the bone but you’re going to have to keep the pins in it and do physical therapy. You’ll be able to come back to work, when you’re ready.”

You nodded slowly. “How’s it going out there?”

“We’re a little calmer now, it’s been a few hours….” He wanted to say something, you could see it in his eyes. “Robby broke. Just before you came in. Dana said he was curled up in the peds room when she went to find him she didn’t even recognize him. He disappeared after we got you stable and…I had to drag him off of the roof.”

Your eyes widened, the only thing you could do was let out a horrified gasp. You knew when you woke up this morning he should’ve stayed, you should’ve been here with him. No. No, the people you helped today needed you.

“Thank you Jack Rabbit. For holding him together when I couldn’t.” He smiled at the use of your nickname. You looked over at your husband “Robby?” Your voice was low, gentle, but enough to stir him from his sleep. His eyes widened at the sight of you and he moved to your bed immediately.

“Hey..” he whispered, scared to touch you. Jack squeezed your hand and left to get back to work.

“Hi, I’m okay.” You were firm. It wasn’t up for debate. You were here, you were alive. Robby’s eyes brimmed with tears, you held his face as wipes them as they fell. “Hey, hey I’m okay Robby I mean it.”

Robby held you as tightly as he could without bringing you any pain, your perfume was long gone but if he tried hard enough he could still smell it. You could feel tears land on your collarbone but you didn’t utter a word, instead you rubbed small circles into his back, humming softly to comfort him. You held him for a while until there was a soft knock at your door, your eyes shot up and met with Jake’s, red rimmed and glossy. You patted the other side of the bed and he practically ran to you, throwing his arms around you and Robby.

You comforted your boys as they cried together, silent tears falling from your eyes. The night was far from over, but for now you were alive, and together.

And that was all that mattered.

an: oh em gee. I have been The Pitt obsessed and Noah Wyle really blew me away last week I can’t wait for Thursday. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a week and I finally got time to sit down and write!! Lmk if yall like this and I’ll see what other ideas I can crank out! Xoxo

@ebodebo @sceletaflores @yuenity

[animasola86]

LOST & FOUND 🫂 CH12

You wake up in bed with Mommy and Daddy, witnessing something very special and ultimately very overwhelming...

soft!Daddy!dom x Mommy!domme x little girl!reader

WARNINGS: F!Reader insert. NSFW! Mommy/Daddy kink. Dd/Md/lg dynamics. Dom/sub undertones. Pet names. Shared bed. Accidental voyeurism. Vaginal sex. Fluff. Frottage. Face-sitting. Cunnilingus. Overstimulation. Anxiety attack. Hurt/comfort. Little girl treatment. More fluff. (More notes under the cut!)

WORDS: 7.5k 🔷️ READ ON AO3 🔷️1–2–3–4–5–6 7–8–9–10–11–12

A/N: ADDITIONAL WARNING: There will be a heavy dose of Angst after the smut of the first half of the chapter. Beware. But don't worry, it'll end in comfort. This is a fluffy story after all. RECAP: Reader (we call her Pumpkin) is in her 20s, has hair and female genitalia, suffers from depression and anxiety, and has agreed to become the little girl/submissive to a couple she's supposed to call Mommy and Daddy, who are in their early/late thirties.

Chapter 11 🔷️ Chapter 12 🔷️

You woke up to a slight bounce to the bed, soft breaths in your ear, and a rhythmic slapping of some sort. Blinking your eyes open, you realized you were curled up, snuggled against a warm torso, a big hand resting on your hip, and the first thing you saw was Mommy.

She was straddling Daddy, sitting upright, her body arched and undulating, head tilted up, long hair cascading down her back, her breasts jiggling sensually with every up and down motion. For a moment you were mesmerized, wondering if you were dreaming.

“She's beautiful, isn't she?” you then heard Daddy's soft voice, and you uncurled a little to raise your head. He was smiling at you when you met his gaze, the dim light of the bedside table lamp casting deep shadows onto his face. “Hey pumpkin. Slept well?”

Why was he so casual while Mommy was riding him? Then again, she looked so relaxed while doing so, eyes closed, lips parted slightly, the way she moved on top of him looked almost like a dance. Lascivious waves to her body, her hips grinding into him, arms propped up behind her, holding onto his knees. You stared at her, at her smooth mound swallowing up Daddy's cock with every downward slam of her pelvis.

You felt your own cunt clenching at the sight, it might have been the most erotic thing you'd ever seen. After whatever happened in the shower last night.

Daddy's hand rubbed over your side, a gentle pressure, warmth, a soothing touch, and you snuggled closer to him until he pulled you up and against him even more, so your breasts were squished against his shoulder, your face almost in line with his. You turned your head to him, finding him watching you instead of the woman riding his cock.

“You okay?” he whispered. You nodded, biting your bottom lip as you looked back at Mommy, your eyes raking along Daddy's body as you did so. He just lay there, relaxed, unmoving, letting her do her thing, there was just the tiniest twitch to his abdomen every time Mommy's hips slammed into his.

The longer you watched Mommy the more the frown on your face deepened. “Is she asleep?” you murmured quietly.

A little chuckle rolled through Daddy's chest. “No, well, not really. She can fuck herself into a trance sometimes. Where she's completely lost in the pleasure of it. She does that sometimes, mostly at night. It's a nice view though, isn't it? And a nice thing to wake up to...”

His arm curled around your shoulders, his hand gently caressing your cheek as he looked at you. You pried your eyes away from Mommy's undulating body to look into his handsome face. Heat flooded your own at the sight. He nudged your chin, and you leaned in more, brushing your nose against his beard, inhaling deeply. Your hand snaked up his chest when you shifted against him.

He hummed softly when your lips met his, then gave a hungry little growl when he pulled you closer, grabbing your chin, guiding the kiss. Your eyes fluttered closed as you let his tongue into your mouth, your own movements still sleepier than you anticipated. His other hand came forth and grabbed your arm, pulling you up a little to allow his lips to wander along your jaw, down your neck, teasing at your pulse before he started sucking at your collarbone.

You squirmed a little, breathing harder, your lips tingling, your body waking up more and more under his ministrations. He was still mostly flat on his back, head lifted by a pillow (while Mommy was still grinding against him, her movements slower, a sensual dance on top of his cock), and when he pulled you closer, you were almost kneeling by his side, bending over, your breasts in line with his face. Your hand found his shoulder to steady yourself as you looked down at him, your chest rising and falling faster.

Before you could do or say anything, you felt his warm lips brushing between your soft mounds, peppering the small slopes with kisses, his beard tickling your skin, an unfamiliar sensation that sent shivers down your spine, a gentle tension building up in your core. You watched him with your cheeks burning up, how he closed his eyes and focused solely on your breasts, lips rubbing, teeth teasing, tongue licking, and when he eventually sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, you keened quietly, arching your back to press your chest firmer into his face.

He held you tighter, his tongue flicking against your pert bud, as he kept suckling softly, little groans slipping past his lips. It was a mesmerizing sight and an even more intriguing feeling, made even better when he moved one of his big hands to pay attention to your other breast, gentle gropes and deep kneading, his palm scraping over your hard nipple before he rolled it between his fingers, pinching it slightly.

You shivered under the ministrations, leaning into him, your eyes getting heavy even though you wanted to keep watching him, as well as Mommy undulating against his hips, her breasts swaying so tantalizingly with every movement. You couldn't even describe how you felt about this unusual scene, it was like nothing you'd ever experienced before. It was warm and comforting, Daddy's mouth on your breast, Mommy's trance-like show, three bodies melting into one. Your head was completely empty, and it felt so, so good.

Inhaling deeply, you pushed your chest into Daddy's face, and he let go of your nipple with a wet pop, looking up at you with a soft smile, licking his lips. You smiled back shyly, one of your hands moving up to brush a stray lock of his hair out of his forehead. He was so handsome, so gentle looking, so warm. His eyes remained on you as he leaned in to close his lips around the other breast, giving it the same treatment, tongue swirling around your nipple, teeth grazing your soft skin, your flesh sucked into his mouth.

You moaned softly, holding his gaze, your fingers slipping deeper into his hair. His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer. It felt like a dream. So soft, relaxing, but at the same time it fueled the fire burning low in your guts, making your unattended core clench. Suddenly you had the idea to move your hand down between your legs and take care of it yourself, but that little ounce of shame still lingering in the back of your mind kept you from doing so.

It was one thing to let things happen, let Daddy suckle on your boobs, to have Mommy put her fingers into your cunt, to curl your hand around Daddy's cock guided by his own, but to do something all by yourself, with yourself, it didn't feel right. And like Daddy said, it was his and Mommy's job to bring you pleasure, and you were okay with that. It got easier and easier to turn your brain off and focus on them.

And luckily, they focused on you just the same, reading you and your emotions as if they'd known you for way longer. You only had to meet Daddy's gaze as he teased your pert nipple with his tongue before he leaned back, hooking his hand under your thigh.

“Come sit on me, pumpkin,” he whispered, nudging your leg. You blinked at him, a little dazed, then looked back to Mommy, only to find her sitting still on Daddy's cock, watching you with a soft smile.

You weren't completely sure what they wanted to do, and you were confused by the set-up, but you still moved one of your legs over Daddy's torso and gingerly sat down on his stomach, leaning more on your knees to keep your weight off him. Mommy moved behind you, her hands snaking around your sides until she grabbed your breasts, continuing what Daddy had started.

His fingers inched up your thighs, rubbing gentle circles, his large hands spanning over your legs, until he grabbed your waist and pushed you down more, so you sat fully on his hard body, your legs spread wide, and naked as you were, your cunt was on full display to him.

But somehow you didn't mind, didn't feel the usual sting of shame. You were mesmerized by his dark eyes, by how gentle Mommy was massaging your breasts, how his warmth seeped into your body, making your clit tingle and your core clench.

He held you tightly, making it impossible to move away, but you didn't want to anyway. Behind you, Mommy started grinding into Daddy again, her hands on your breasts used as leverage as you felt her bouncing up and down, her body arched into yours, her legs bracketed around your own, her hard nipples brushing along your back, sending cold shivers down your spine. You let them move you, Mommy rubbing against you, Daddy guiding your hips to make you rub against him.

You felt his shifting muscles against your labia, your clit catching on the ridges of his abdomen with every backwards push. Your head was spinning, Mommy's moans loud in your ear, those lewd sounds of slapping skin and squelching wetness surrounding you like a warm cloud that slowly seeped into your skin, silencing anything else.

“Go... sit on... Daddy's face... mi amor,” Mommy breathed behind you, her rough bouncing and grinding getting to her, her fingers now really digging into your breasts. Her words didn't make sense to you, so you looked at Daddy, who had shifted beneath you slightly, watching you with an intensity in his eyes that made you even more dizzy.

“You heard her, pumpkin,” he said quietly. “Come on, it's okay, come closer.” With his hands still on your waist, he pulled you towards him, up on his chest. Mommy let go of you, her fingers brushing against your back, giving you a gentle nudge.

“I... I don't know...” you murmured, awkwardly hovering over him, your cunt already so close to his face the shame simmering inside you burnt up after all.

“It's okay,” he soothed, his hands moving around your rear. “Sit up, place your knees on either side of my head and sit down. I want to taste you, pumpkin, make you feel good.”

“But... I... I don't want to... hurt you...” you gasped as you nonetheless followed his instructions. “Can you... still breathe... when I do this?”

He laughed softly, arranging you on top of him, his arms curling around your legs, hands holding you open. “I will, don't worry. You won't hurt me.”

And then he pulled you down, your cunt pressing right against his mouth, his nose prodding your clit, and his beard... You moaned softly as the tickling sensation crashed over you like a wave of ice-cold water, pebbling your skin, your entire body shivering under the experience. For a moment he leaned into it, rubbing his facial hair along your inner thighs, left and right, then back against your labia, those soft scratching sounds only adding to the tension in your lower body.

You braced your hands on the metal headboard of the bed, looking down at what he was doing, trying to keep it together with your heart racing and pleasure fighting with embarrassment. But as soon as his tongue dipped between your lower lips, you lost it, the warmth of his breath and touch sending shock waves straight into your core, drowning out anything else.

“Oh God,” you gasped out, unconsciously bucking your hips into his face. He groaned against you, his low voice a deep vibration through your body that enhanced the overall feeling of beautiful weightlessness.

“Call me Daddy,” he muttered against you, and you were sure you could feel him smirking as he pressed his face firmer against your cunt.

Somewhere behind you, you heard an exasperated snicker. You had no idea what Mommy was doing at this point, and frankly, you didn't care, as long as Daddy kept his attention on sucking and licking and nibbling at your center. That was all you could focus on, how his tongue moved along your slit, lapping up your wetness, his lips brushing against your soft skin, his nose poking at your clit, and the constant prickle of his beard an added bonus to it all.

You felt your arms shaking from how you clenched your hands around the metal frame, your thighs twitching against his face, the need to close them growing stronger, but his hands kept them wide open, a bruising grip, but without it you probably would have suffocated him by now.

Little whines and mewls escaped you as you threw your head back, lips parted, eyes rolling back, your body aflame with tingling sensations that made it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to function. Whatever he was doing, he was doing so well, you never wanted him to stop. It felt like nothing you'd felt before, different from that random girl eating your cunt in the cafe, different from Mommy burying her face between your legs in the shower, it might have been the beard, but also the way he moved his tongue.

You had no idea that muscle could even do whatever he was doing, but you felt it, somehow, dipping deep between your clenching walls, licking as far as he could reach, his mouth practically suctioned to your weeping hole. And while you should have been mortified at the notion, you weren't, you were enjoying it, leaning into it, bucking more and more desperately against his face, wanting more.

And he gave you more, quickening the swipes of his tongue, nudging his nose harder into your clit, turning his head slightly to rub his beard against your skin. You were writhing, panting on top of him, humping his face like you'd humped his groin before. His hands dug into your legs, battling the increasingly wilder twitching of your thighs, but it all exploded when he tilted his head and focused all his attention on your throbbing clit.

Suddenly his mouth was on it, tongue flicking, licking, prodding, and he was sucking, hard, harder, and you wailed, convulsing against him, barely able to stay upright. Only a few seconds later and you came, spasming, crying out, hips stuttering, lights dancing behind your eyelids. It was like a punch to the gut, a sudden shock, a scorching wave that slowly spread through your entire body, tingling and thrumming all the way into your curling toes.

He held you and kept lapping at your slit, slowly easing you down. And you were boneless, a heap of limbs on top of him, eyes closed, mouth open, not caring about the bit of drool dripping down your chin. Somehow he moved you away from his face, made you lie down on his chest, your head nestled against his, his hand on your cheek, turning it, his lips, covered in your juices, brushing against yours.

“My good girl,” he cooed, wrapping his arms around your shivering body. “So sweet, so beautiful...”

With how you slid down his torso, your rear was bumping into where Mommy was still sitting on Daddy's cock. You'd think (if you could) she would be annoyed by how you snaked your way into her special time with Daddy (though it had been her idea, hadn't it?), but she had waited, seemingly, watching you come undone, for now she was moving again, her hands holding onto your waist, as she started grinding once more.

Daddy groaned into your ear, cuddling you as Mommy rode him, and her rhythmic bounces and the steady snaps of her hips made you feel as if you were being fucked as well. But you were just a pile of flesh and bones, wild hair all around you, unable to move, your core still throbbing from the orgasm Daddy had licked out of you.

As Mommy's noises grew louder, you felt him bucking his hips up, moving with her, a wild dance on the bed, a tango of limbs, bucking, bouncing, grinding, slamming, up and down, back and forth, their movements faster and harder, and you felt them all, like echoes undulating through your body. You wished you could watch them from a better angle, see their bodies shift against each other, see how Daddy's cock pummeled Mommy's cunt, see his muscles shifting and her boobs bounce.

But you could imagine it, and it was enough to make you whimper softly as they finally reached their climaxes, Mommy first, moaning out loudly, her last slam down onto Daddy's hips making him spasm and grunt, and he held you tighter as he shivered, his pelvis jerking up against you and Mommy as he emptied his balls into her.

One day, you hoped, he'd do the same to you.

Mommy eased her death grip on your waist and leaned in, shifting on top of Daddy before she lay down on your back, fully sandwiching you between her soft breasts and Daddy's hard body. He opened his arms and invited her in too, holding you both, a pile of warm bodies, all of you breathing harder, hearts beating rapidly against each other.

Inhaling deeply, filling your nostrils with the scent of sex, you snuggled against them, a soft smile grazing your lips as you felt yourself drifting into the pleasant void of sleep, a last half-baked thought in your empty mind:

This is your life now. Days and weeks and months of this with Mommy and Daddy and you. And it will be a good life.

That thought didn't quite make it through the depths of your dreams, though. When you woke up, you felt heavy, and cold. You were alone in the large bed, you could tell. Snuggled into the covers, but it was still cold. And then, as sudden as a lightning bolt hitting a tree with all of its destructive force, the doubts came crashing back as you remembered what happened last night. The days before. Ever since you agreed to live here.

It had been too much.

You knew you were supposed to be distracted by it all, but your mind was never fully empty, maybe in the moment, but as soon as you got back into the clear thinking stage, the darkness crept up again. Between wanting things you shouldn't want and the crippling inability to ask for anything and knowing you didn't deserve any of it anyway, you found yourself spiraling deeper and deeper, and in the end the biggest emotion was shame.

The things you did, the things you saw, the things that happened. It was wrong (it felt right), no, it was wrong! You barely knew these people but they'd seen parts of you, sides of you, moments of you, that you would have never shared with anyone like this, hadn't shared with anyone in a very long time. Why would anyone want to see that? What was wrong with them for accepting you so easily? What did they really want from you?

You were probably just a body to them, a means to get off, to fulfill their sick little dreams with sick little games. They didn't care about you. You were a toy to play with, a doll to dress, a puppet to manipulate. Nothing more. You couldn't be. And why would you deserve to be treated like anything more? You were a failure, deep down you knew that, and your mind kept reminding you as well, whenever it got the chance, and no hug, no kiss, no gentle word could change that.

There was no comfort in letting it happen.

You were deep in thought, sniffling pathetically under the covers, curled up into a ball, shivering under the weight of your anxiety, when you felt a warm hand on your hip, a soft voice following the touch.

“Wake up, pumpkin,” you heard Daddy say. No. Noah. The man's name was Noah, you shouldn't call him Daddy. He was just another man that slipped through your life, only to leave again, like all those men your mother dragged into your home. Like your own father who left you when things got too stressful.

You held your breath, pretending to be asleep. He only shook you more, gentle but firm, until he dug a hand into the covers and tried to pull them away. You whined out when he did, and he stopped, the mattress dipping when he sat down beside you.

“What's wrong, baby girl?” he whispered, his hand still on your side, warm and somewhat comforting, but also burning and teetering on the edge of irritating. You couldn't decide. It was too much. “Are you in pain?” he asked, and you swallowed hard, burying your wet face in the pillow.

You couldn't even describe how you felt, it was as if you were caught in a dark room and somehow the walls kept closing in on you, making it harder and harder to breathe.

“Baby, talk to me,” he kept going, his voice a low drone at the edge of your hearing, present but also not. “Pumpkin...” His hands tried again to reach you in your cocoon of blankets. You felt them warm and strong, as they slipped around your arms, slowly pulling you up and out.

But you curled up more, trying to get away from him, not even feeling the hot tears as they spilled over your lashes. Your heart was racing, your entire body shivering, feeling cold and tingly, your face was particularly numb.

“You gotta tell me what's wrong, baby, or I can't make it better...” He didn't give up, kept his hands on you, rubbed over your arms, your sides, your legs, but the touch couldn't get rid of the chill settling under your skin.

You couldn't tell him what was wrong, you had no words for it, and the worst thing: you couldn't look at him. Not into the face that had been between your legs, so intimate, so close. It had felt good, but looking back you were so embarrassed, how could you ever look at him again? At this handsome man who for some reason wouldn't leave you alone...

And then he pulled you up and into his arms, you were just a bundle of limbs and hair, covered in tears and cold sweat, but as soon as he pressed you to his chest, settled you on his lap, his arms tight around you, you could breathe a bit better again, only just, but more than before.

You rasped against him, unable to fight, at least not him, but you did try to push those clouds away, more and more, the longer you felt his warmth and strength, his breath on your neck as he curled in with you, holding you, one hand on the back of your head, the other heavy on your lower back, arms crossed over your shaking body.

He hummed against you, shushing your stifled sobs, gently rocking you back and forth, and the motion calmed you, his closeness eased the shudders, your mind turned the volume of those nagging thoughts down; they didn't disappear, but they were pushed into the back again, slowly, bit by bit. And you could breathe, in and out, a deep inhale, his scent filling your nostrils, a familiar and relaxing scent, then a long exhale, letting out all the darkness, breathing it right into his shirt.

You didn't know how long he sat with you like that, but eventually you had calmed down enough to tilt your head and sneak a peek at his face, through your blurry vision, but you could still see the soft smile on his face, the gentle twinkle in his dark eyes, the hint of a dimple on his bearded cheek. You snuggled into him, leaning your cheek against his shoulder, looking up, forcing yourself to find solace in the way he looked at you.

He rubbed his hand up and down your back. “You're alright, pumpkin,” he whispered, his low voice a gentle hum through your head. “Everything will be just fine. Daddy's got you.”

His soothing words should have done just that, soothe you, but instead you felt another wave of dread. Daddy. The name echoed through your head, bounced around like something pointy, poking painfully at your mushy brain. It was wrong.

And you wondered how you could have called him that before, how easy it had been to repeat. It shouldn't have been. You had been overwhelmed and confused, in a different way than you were now, you had clung to that name as if it had been a lifesaving anchor, but now the same anchor weighed you down more and more, and with another sob, you buried your face in his chest, hiding away.

“Oh baby girl,” he cooed softly, a sigh leaving his lips. He waited another moment, just holding you, letting you sob and cry into his shirt, your body trembling against his, wrecked by anxiety-fueled twitches that made your toes and fingers tingle, in the bad way. And in the midst of your struggles, he stood up, lifting you effortlessly, cradling you in his arms as he carried you away.

You didn't know where to, you couldn't see anything with how you had pressed your face to his chest, and somehow you didn't care either, you just... let it happen. He walked for quite a bit, before he finally set you down, his hands holding you, shifting your hips, moving along your sides, making you sit up straighter, before they cupped your face and tilted your head up, urging you to look at him.

You blinked your eyes into focus, feeling cold and numb and lifeless, a wobble to your lips that he tried to rub away with his thumbs. “Come back to me, pumpkin,” he whispered, bringing his face closer to yours, his warm breath ghosting your wet skin. “I know you can. Focus on me, okay? Look at me,” he added as your eyes wandered to the side, only to snap back to his when he asked for it (demanded it). You blinked, more tears rolling down your cheeks, caught by his large hands.

You inhaled deeply, watching him, slowly getting lost in his dark eyes, worry etched around them, deep creases lining his forehead. You focused on him, noticing the short dark lashes, the thick eyebrows, the slant of them, the straight nose, his lips (warm lips, brushing against yours, kissing you softly), the way his beard filled out the rest of his face, spanning over his strong jaw, thick but trimmed, a few lighter hairs between the dark ones, thicker above his upper lip, not as thick and filled out under his bottom lip, letting his tanned skin shine through, smoother down his neck, shaved (the scratch of it against your inner thighs, the roughness under your fingertips, the tingles it created).

You took another deep breath, looking back up into his eyes, your tears drying under your own the longer you stared at him, unblinking. The creases on his face shifted, forehead relaxing, little crow's feet appearing in the corners of his eyes as his lips morphed into a smile. You felt your own twitching, numb as they were, but the blood pooled back into them, into your cheeks, slowly fighting the chills under your skin.

One more long inhale, filling out the last inches of your lungs, your chest rising, until the tingles vanished. Your fingers itched, curling and straightening on your legs (naked legs, naked everything, completely bare in front of him). He stood before you (fully clothed), your knees pointed to the side, thighs clenched together, stomach fluttering. His hands moved from your warm face down your shoulders, along your arms, before they rested beside you, the hint of them, warmth radiating off them, next to your hips.

You closed your eyes, breathed in and out, in and out, then opened them again. He was still smiling at you. So warm, gentle, caring. He cared. He had to. Why else would he take his precious time and spend it trying to calm you down? He cared about you. It didn't matter that you barely knew him, that he barely knew you. He cared, and you wanted him to care. Wanted him to touch you, hug you, hold you, kiss you, fuck you...

You almost choked on your own spit as you looked away quickly, blinking the last tears away. You were tempted to roll your eyes at yourself, at the way your mind went from EVERYTHING IS BAD AND NOBODY LIKES YOU to OMG I NEED HIM TO FUCK MY BRAINS OUT. It was ridiculous. But it was better than sulking and sobbing and drowning in your own darkness. You heaved a deep sigh, cleared your throat, looked back at him.

Amusement curled his lips, twinkled in his eyes. He reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “You're back,” he simply said, and you were glad he didn't ask you if you were okay or what happened, you couldn't have answered him. But you could make the corner of your lips rise a little, and it was enough for him to lean down and press his lips to your smirk.

Then he moved back and opened the cabinet behind the mirror. You realized that you were sitting on the vanity of a bathroom, your bathroom, because he was pulling out your toothbrush, the pink one they had given you on your first day. You watched him put it under the running water of the faucet, then put toothpaste on it and put it under the water again. Turning it off, he braced his arm next to you and held the toothbrush closer.

“Open up,” he said, tilting his head.

You frowned, but opened your mouth. And then he started brushing your teeth, holding your jaw to move your head, applying a little too much pressure, but that wasn't what irked you.

“Ca' do'it 'yself,” you tried to voice past the foamy stick in your mouth.

He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Can you?” he asked.

You felt your cheeks burning up badly. A few remaining doubts came back. Of course you can't, you're useless, let him do it if he wants to. But then you nodded, staring at him, ignoring the voices.

And he smiled, nodded as well, and pulled your hand up to let you grab the toothbrush. You continued moving it over your teeth, watching him as he watched you.

“Good girl, of course you can,” he said, rubbing your warm cheek before he stepped away. He left the bathroom then, left you to your own devices, and you focused on brushing your teeth, a mundane task but it helped you in pushing those thoughts away again.

Once you were done, you hopped off the vanity, spit into the sink and cleaned the brush and your mouth with water. Putting it back (having to lean on your toes to reach the cabinet), you then turned to the open door, watching him rummage through your closet. Before you could follow him into your bedroom, he came back with a bunch of clothes draped over his arm.

He put them onto a towel rack next to the vanity, giving you a long look. You felt warm, a few cold shivers crashing down your limbs, exposed as you were. He grinned at you, then stepped in and grabbed your waist, easily putting you back on the counter. You didn't protest.

But you started squirming after he'd put these white frilly socks on your feet (the ones you'd never have worn on your own, too girly, too childish almost, but he seemed to like them). It was when he pulled a pair of white panties up your legs (cute ones, with pink bows and ribbons on them), and you had to lift your hips to allow him to pull them on fully, that you froze up, stiffened, parted your lips to say something to make him stop.

He did stop, in a way, grabbed your waist again, set you down on the cold tiles. Pulling your panties up all the way, he paused again, his large hands on your hips as he leaned over you.

“Listen to me, pumpkin,” he said, his voice a little bit more serious, lower, darker. “I am well aware that you are a grown woman, a young woman who is able to do this all by herself. You are not a helpless little girl who can't do anything, but you are my little girl. You agreed to this, remember? It may feel weird at times, but it really isn't, it's all natural, baby girl, okay? I'm not doing this to humiliate you, to belittle you, I want to do this to help you, I want to pamper you, treat you like the princess you are for me. So let me dress you, let me brush your hair, let me handle you and carry you and move you around. Let me touch you and kiss you and... let me make you feel good. Let it happen,” he added, stressing the words by leaning even closer, his eyes boring into yours. “Let me help you turn those doubts off, focus on me. It'll make me happy too, pumpkin, when you allow me this one thing. It will help you, I promise. Just let it happen.”

You listened intently, focusing on him, soaking up every word, his deep voice vibrating through you, easing the shivers, fighting the darkness. A shuddering breath escaped you, your heart beating faster, your mind unusually quiet. “Okay,” you whispered, licking your lips, another word resting heavy on your tongue. You swallowed around it, then added: “Daddy.”

He smiled at you, his hands back on your cheeks before he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, inhaling sharply. “My good girl,” he rasped, peppering your face with quick kisses then returned to your mouth. You parted your lips in anticipation, and he took the chance, his tongue meeting yours in a desperate little dance that you sank into with fervor, wanting nothing more than to dissipate into his touches, his warmth, his strength, letting go completely.

After the kiss, he pulled his arms around you and hugged you tightly, squeezing the remnants of your anxiety right out of you. You breathed freer now, easier, and there was only him. You let him dress you (he put a soft white cotton bra on you, pulled a black shirt with a large white fuzzy cat on it over your head, struggled to wiggle you into a pair of comfy shorts), then he guided you out of the bathroom and down into the kitchen. You followed, squeezing his hand, focused on breathing and on him.

There was a plate set up on the kitchen island, knife, fork, a tall glass full of orange juice next to a large stack of pancakes kept warm by one of those fancy glass domes. Daddy slipped onto one of the high stools lining one side of the island, shifting back enough to allow you to find a place on his lap.

For him it seemed second nature to simply grab your waist and pull you up, arranging you on his leg, one arm around you, the other focused on lifting the dome and putting a pancake onto the plate. For you it still felt a little weird, but you started to accept it again. Because it made him happy, and if he was happy, you were happy, right?

And his thigh was surprisingly comfortable, hard but warm, and you could snuggle into him, your shoulder pressed to his chest, his big hand curled around your side. You turned your head to look at him, smiling shyly, and he grinned wider, and then, he was feeding you. And you let it happen.

It was fluffy and sweet, the pancake and the gesture. Your mind gave a few more stabs but you ignored it, focused on Daddy, on his crinkling eyes when he put the fork to your lips and you opened your mouth and took the piece he was offering. He watched you chew, then prepared another bite, until you had finished at least two whole pancakes. In between he'd feed you the loose blueberries strewn about the plate, and sometimes he'd tilt his head down and snatch one of them right out of your mouth with a deep kiss.

Then he handed you the juice and you drank almost half of it in one go, parched as you were. He rubbed his hand along your hip, his eyes always on you. And you felt warm, safe, taken care of. It felt right again. You put the glass down and watched him, licking your lips.

“Thank you, Daddy,” you whispered in the end, and he smiled at you.

“Of course, pumpkin. Always. I am here for you. Even if you can't find the words. I am always here for you, and if you need me and can't ask for it, you just come to me and hug me, okay? And we'll figure it out together, yeah?”

You nodded, smiling back before bowing your head and burying your face in his shoulder, one arm snaking around him. He kissed the top of your head and held you a bit tighter. For a long moment you sat like that, snuggled against him, the smells of pancakes and him mixing in your nostrils.

“Did you make these pancakes, Daddy?” you whispered after a while, turning your head to look at the still steaming stack.

He gave a short laugh. “No, our chef, Greta, made them. She told me how to keep them warm though. I can do a lot, pumpkin, but I cannot cook, or bake.”

“Hmm,” you hummed softly, your hand gliding down his arm until you closed your fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand into your lap. “Maybe we could learn together?”

He tilted his head, watching you as you slipped your small fingers between his long ones. “We could, if you'd like that.”

“I'd like that,” you murmured, before you blinked and looked up, meeting his gaze. “Daddy, I want to... uh... do something too, like, give back, do something to – Well, you and Mommy let me stay here, you give me food, and clothes, and all these... other things, and I just... I need to give back, maybe I can do something that's useful... like clean or... try to cook... or –”

“Pumpkin,” he stopped you, pulling his hand away from yours to grab your chin. “You don't have to do anything to justify your stay here. Besides, you are doing so much already. Just sitting here with me, spending time with me, letting me feed you and do all those things, that is enough. And we already have someone who cleans and cooks, but if you like to feel useful, maybe you can ask them if you could help them, but it really isn't necessary, baby girl. That's not part of our arrangement, hm?”

Your arrangement. To be their submissive, their little girl. To be theirs... to use? No, to pamper. To guide. To take care of. To make you feel good and to make them feel good. It was unusual, very much so, but maybe you could get used to it.

“And if you ever get bored of us or just want to do something if we're not here, we can turn one of our spare rooms into your hobby room, how does that sound?” he offered, rubbing his thumb along your chin. Your lips parted, something warm and bubbly settling in your stomach.

“That sounds great, Daddy,” you breathed excitedly. “A whole room for myself?”

He laughed. “Another room for yourself. One to sleep and one to pass the time. Whatever you like. Any hobby you can think of. Just ask, okay? We want you to feel comfortable here, to find yourself again. This is your new home, remember?” he added, cupping your face and bringing his lips to your temple.

You nodded, smiling at him, a real happy smile that warmed your entire body and ached in your cheeks. He smiled back, pulling you against him. “Thank you,” you murmured into him, your arms tight around his waist.

“You're welcome, pumpkin, anything for my little girl,” he whispered, resting his chin on top of your head.

“Daddy?” you asked after another comfortable moment in his arms.

“Hmm?” he hummed in response.

“Can I... uh... can I ask you something and you won't get mad?”

He leaned you back, looking at you with a frown. “You can ask me anything, I will never get mad at you, baby girl. What makes you say that?”

“Well, I... I asked Mommy once where you were, and she... she reacted a little weirdly, and I thought... I shouldn't ask about you when I'm with her, and maybe you don't like it either if I ask about her when I am with you, and so –”

He heaved a deep sigh while you were still rambling. “Oh pumpkin,” he said with a smirk before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips to shut you up. “Mommy is... well, a complex person, if you want to call it that. As I said, it was her idea to look for a little girl, you know? She really wanted to be a caregiver, but I think she is still getting to terms with properly sharing you. That hasn't been in her nature before, not like this, she is used to getting what she wants, and she wants you, baby, but she has to learn to share you with me, that's part of our agreement. And she will, I'm sure, we'll just have to give her time. This is new to all of us.

“So, maybe she was a little irritated, but that's nothing you should worry about, okay? You should always be able to ask anything you want, either of us, no matter if you think it's weird or if it might make the other mad or whatever. There are no stupid questions,” he stressed, playfully booping the tip of your nose. “And if you want to ask me about Mommy, you ask me about Mommy, understood?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you whispered, biting your lip.

“So?”

You scrunched your nose. “Well, I was wondering where she is...” you started quietly, before quickly adding: “And that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you, I'm just curious and –”

He shook his head with another laugh, kissing your cheek. “She's at the office, pumpkin. She'll be back for dinner. And you know, she asked me to tell you that she really enjoyed our time together last night, me too, by the way. It was a great idea, to make sure she was fine, hm? Did you like it too?”

Heat crashed into your cheeks when you nodded. “It was... something,” you whispered, giving him a shy smirk before looking away. “Nothing I've ever experienced...”

“And it's just the beginning, baby girl,” he rasped as he leaned closer, nuzzling your jaw. “Is that okay with you?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you breathed softly, snuggling into him. He hugged you closer, his lips brushing against yours.

“Are you comfortable with me, pumpkin?”

No hesitation. “Yes.”

“And with Mommy?”

“Yes.” Quick again.

And you were. It was all new to you, but you still felt safe with them. They might nudge you out of your comfort zone more often than you were accustomed to, but they never forced you, never made you do anything you didn't want. You wanted them, to hold you, to kiss you, to touch you, to...

You were sure you'd still have the occasional anxiety attack, wondering why these gorgeous people would do these things with someone like you, but you also knew that Daddy was there for you, and Mommy too. You believed them in wanting to help you. They did it in their own way, but it was help nonetheless.

“I'm glad, baby,” he whispered softly, his arms tight around you, his beard scratching against your cheek. “You really are the perfect little girl for us...”

You shifted on his lap, tucking your feet under his thigh and wrapping your arms around his neck, facing him for a moment before you tilted your head and pressed your lips to his. He gave a soft chuckle and quickly deepened the kiss, his hands roaming over your back.

“And you're the perfect Daddy,” you whispered in one of the rare moments where you came up for air. You felt his smile against your lips, saw the twinkle in his eyes, how the creases deepened around them.

“I'm the only Daddy you'll ever need, pumpkin.”

Chapter 11 🔷️ Chapter 12 🔷️

End notes: BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Well, there will be, in the near future! I am not done with Daddy, Mommy and Pumpkin yet. I still have so many things I want Pumpkin to experience (like her first time with Daddy, or how Mommy teaches her the joys of toys, and so many more depraved little instances she'll absolutely love I'm sure XD), also I finally want to show the real Mommy and Daddy energy, more than we've seen in the last chapters, the real deal, you know what I mean.

So, please, stay tuned, follow along if you like, and keep your eyes open for new updates soon!

While you wait, remember that I have more (smut) stories:

INFATUATED (tumblr/AO3)

ABANDONED (tumblr/AO3)

FORGETFUL (tumblr/AO3)

Thank you for reading! It's been a bumpy ride so far, but I appreciate every single one of you who read and liked and supported my little original fiction! See you soon!

MASTERLIST 🔷️ AO3 🔷️ ORIGINAL WORKS

[zomgcaleb]

hi zom its 🍓anon here :P, i saw some post about caleb as a commercial pilot and i cant get it out of my head, i jus know the day ur on a flight he'd make everyone know about it and embarrass the fuck out of u omg

UGH yes he’s so annoying sighs dreamily

Somehow he always finds out about a trip of yours and somehow he’s always the one flying your plane. You ask him about it but alas he’s dodgy on the subject.

Sometimes if first class has open seating he’ll pay the difference and move your seat so you’re closer to him :(. He’ll even get the flight attendants to sneak you extra snacks if he can. Regardless of whether or not you’re in first class, despite how luxurious it is compared to where you normally sit, you still manage to leave utterly mortified.

He’s a well loved pilot. Many passengers excite at the idea that he’s at the head of their plane, enjoying the smooth sailing through the air and a safe journey. But not for you. At least not mentally.

The second you board he’s already zeroed in on you and frankly you know better than to assume a peaceful ride. You sink into your seat immediately and it’s not long before the overhead intercom sounds loud and raspy above your head.

He’ll run through all the safety protocols like usual in his charming upbeat style. Until he doesn’t.

“All righty, that’s it. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Also, beware of the pretty lady in seat B4. She bites.”

sybau <\\3

Everyone who’s a regular traveler probably knows abt you.

Oh and believe that he will be back to pick you up and fly you home it’s never a discussion and you never know how he does it so you’ve grown to stop asking

It’s always worth it though when you finish getting your luggage and he hops out of the plane to send you off with a sweet kiss—or two or three you’ve lost count at this point—and watches you leave with the crowd before heading back to his seat.

:((

[oddinary4bts]

Be With You | ch 12

☆summary: who knew that the hot guy you've been paired with for a class project is also a kind soul? Certainly not you, and you feel yourself falling even though you know you shouldn't. Will it be your demise, or will it all work out in the end?

☆pairing: Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: slow burn strangers to lovers, college!au, smut, angst and fluff

☆warnings: a bad hangover, cursing, they finally talk, Jungkook >:(, alcohol (not oc), it's a little awkward and sad but it's going to be getting better from now!

☆word count: 11.7k

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here

☆a/n: finally they are talking! it's going to be some slow healing from now on! Their conversation is really rough though, and she will describe what she went through with jungkook so beware if abusive relationships are a sensitive topic for you! All of it is what happened between my ex and I, and it's really personal to me sooo.. yeah. We hate abusers in this house. And last but not least, thank you to @moonleeai for your amazing work as my beta reader, I love you and am forever thankful for you <3

☆☆☆☆☆

Cold snowflakes Withered down Until you bloom As a spring flower I'll be with you

Be With You, Ateez (english translation)

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, December 21st

Your head is pounding. Thumping, your heartbeat so loud you think your skull will explode, and your throat burns so much you think you might have ingested fire yesterday.

Last night is blurry. You remember the party, remember Jungkook’s words, remember drinking alone in the winter… but the rest is a blur, a familiar dimpled boy seemingly present in some of the flashbacks you have.

You squeeze an eye open. Though the curtains have been drawn, the light hurts your head, and you quickly shut your eye again.

Deep breaths.

You breathe in and out, multiple times, trying to make sense of your surroundings by the sound only. Yet apart from the distinct sound from the air exchanging system, the apartment is quiet, serene.

Wait.

You don’t have an air exchanging system at home. The thought is enough to make you open your eyes, your worry that you did not make it back home last night winning against the headache, and you quickly realize that you are indeed not in your room.

More than that, you come face to face with a familiar plush toy you’ve only been seeing in your memories lately, and your heart squeezes in your chest. It can’t be…

You turn on your back, glancing to the side. You notice a glass of water and, though you reckon you are definitely not at home, you’re too dehydrated to do anything else than grab the water, taking a long sip from the glass. There are some painkillers on the bedside table too, and you grab those as well, swallowing them with another sip of water.

You vaguely remember throwing up yesterday. There was someone with you and…

Judging by the plush toy and the familiar bedroom in which you are, that someone has to be him.

But how?

You push the covers off of you, throwing your legs over the edge of the bed. The floor is cold underneath your naked feet, and you blush as you realize that you are fully naked save for a black t-shirt.

What the fuck happened?

You get up, wobbling on your feet, the pain in your head increasing sharply before it returns to a lesser level. You take a deep breath, and then you take a step, cursing loudly as you hit something.

It’s a cauldron. A large one at that, and you recall him bringing the cauldron in case you got sick during the night.

Fortunately, you haven’t, though your stomach still feels unsteady as you take a few steps towards the doorway, squinting your eyes from the light that’s spilling in the living room. 

There’s not even that much light, you realize as you finally reach the living room. Indeed, the day is still early, and grey clouds cover the sky outside, not letting any sun rays pass through. It’s still bright enough to hurt your head, but you forget all about it when you see him sleeping soundly on the couch.

Your eyes water, and you blink a few times as emotions rush through you, too quickly for you to register them.

You’re at San’s apartment. You really are - he’s right there in front of you, and a few steps later, you’re close enough to touch him. You can’t resist the urge to push a strand of his hair off his forehead, and your finger lingers on his skin, moving down so that you can trace his jaw.

He’s real. As real as can be, his skin warm under your fingertip, and a tear rolls down your cheek.

“San?” you let out in a soft whisper.

His eyes shoot open, and he sits up so quickly you stumble back, swaying on your feet. It startles you enough that your heart races in your chest, and San finds you standing there, his concerned features softening slightly.

“Yes?” he answers.

He blinks once, rubbing his face, and you become keenly aware that he’s shirtless, the blanket he had wrapped around his body while sleeping having slipped down to his waist when he sat up.

“What are you doing on the couch?” you ask.

He takes a deep breath, stretching his arms, his eyes fluttering shut momentarily. “Sleeping.”

“Why…” you trail off, looking down as Byeol suddenly brushes against your leg. “Why am I here?”

San’s gaze widens slightly at your words. “You don’t remember last night?”

You shake your head no, and another tear rolls on your cheek. At the sight of it, San gets up from the couch, revealing that he’s only wearing a pair of black boxers, and he grabs your hand.

“Hey, don’t cry,” he soothingly whispers. “You’re okay.”

“I just…” You blink a few times, more tears spilling on your cheeks. “I’m really confused, and my head hurts like a bitch.”

“Let’s get you back in bed,” he says. “It’s still early.”

You nod, but then you frown, stopping him before he starts pulling you to his bedroom. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

He tugs you in that direction then, smiling over his shoulder. “No worries.”

San waits for you outside the bathroom while you pee, and you spray cold water in your face, wincing at the sight of your makeup. You can tell half of it has been rubbed off, but you still have eyeliner and eyeshadow on, and your mascara makes it look like you put a thick line of eyeliner under your eyes too from the way it rubbed off on your face.

You look like you’ve been through hell. You feel like it, too, and you walk back out of the bathroom with a slight wince on your face.

“I look like shit,” you deadpan.

San, definitely not expecting the joke, widens his gaze, and then he chuckles. “I’ll get you some makeup wipes when the pharmacy downstairs opens,” he says. “Which should be around nine.”

“San…” you whisper. “I should just go home.”

Anguish invades his features as if heavy sadness is coming from deep within him, and his gaze drops to the floor, his shoulders slumping forward. He looks like someone placed the weight of the world on him and, unlike Atlas, he’s struggling to stay up.

“Not now,” he says. “You still have to sleep.”

You rub your face, nodding once as you immediately yawn. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to. I’m not…” you trail off, and your aching heart burns for a moment as you hesitate with your next words. But you’re too tired to hold them in, too hungover to have any filter left, and you say, “I’m not really comfortable here.”

San’s eyes flutter shut, and he nods once. “Do you want me to drive you home now?”

“No.” Confusion sweeps through you, and San looks at you, an eyebrow cocked in question. “No, I don’t know. I… I don’t want to leave right now.”

The relief that washes through his face makes you want to cry again, but you stay strong, pushing the tears away before they’ve even made it to your eyes.

“Alright,” he says, nodding. “Then let’s get you back in bed, and I’ll drive you home later. Deal?”

You agree with a nod, following San as he walks towards his room. Byeol trots in behind the two of you, and San bends down to pick her up as you stay in the doorway, eyeing the bed.

“I can stay on the couch, actually,” you say.

San shakes his head no. “You’ll be more comfortable in bed.”

“But…” You close your eyes, unsure if you want to admit your next words to him. Much like earlier, the truth wins, and you conclude, “It’s weird without you.”

For a few, awkward seconds, all that can be heard in the room is the sound of your breathing, and then San nods. “I can stay with you.”

Silver lines your gaze, and you offer him a small smile as he walks around the bed, sitting on the other side from where you slept. You sit on your side, sliding your legs back under the covers, and you sigh in relief at how warm the sheets still are.

“Thank you for the painkillers,” you say as you lie down, putting your head on the pillow.

There’s a thump from Byeol jumping on the floor, and then San slides under the covers too, using his arm as a pillow as he lies on his side, facing you.

“Of course,” he whispers. “Do you need more water?”

You glance at the glass, now empty, and you sigh deeply. “That’d be great, actually.”

San is quick to get up again, and he grabs the glass, going to the kitchen to fill it up. He comes back with that and the pillow he slept with on the couch, and he puts the glass back down on the bedside table next to you before walking around the bed and settling back on his side.

“Thanks,” you whisper, and you sit up just long enough to take a few long sips of water before you’re lying down on your side, facing him.

You pull Mr Snake in your arms, hugging him tight, and you meet San’s gaze for a few seconds, your eyes darting between his two eyes as if you’ll read what’s on his mind if you do it enough times.

“What?” he asks, his voice low.

“Thank you,” you reply.

His brow creases. “For the water?”

“For coming to get me last night.”

His lips press in a tight line, the sadness returning to his gaze. “You had me really worried. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

You remain silent, your eyes moving down and settling on the beauty mark on his neck. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” He moves, and his fingers lift your chin so that you meet his gaze again. “Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

You think you have a hell of a lot to be sorry about, but the look in his eyes silences you. It’s soft, gentle, though sadness still lingers in his pupils, and the pain in your chest lessens as he softly smiles.

“Really,” he insists. “I’m relieved you called me yesterday.”

You don’t know what to say, so you remain silent, just holding his gaze. His hand falls on the bed between the two of you, and you glance at it once before returning to the safety of his eyes.

“Now, you should try and sleep more,” he adds.

“It’s kind of hard if you’re staring at me.”

He chuckles, shutting his eyes. “Better?” You don’t say anything, just scanning his features, committing them to memory like you wish you had before. He cracks an eye open, almost startling you. “You’re the one staring at me now.”

Your cheeks burn, and you look down. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. 

“Are you…” you trail off, taking a deep breath. “Would you be willing to talk after we sleep some more?”

His gaze is wet when you look up as the silence starts stretching into awkwardness.

“Yes.” He whispers your name. “Yes, we can talk later. But we both need some rest, it’s only 7 am.”

“Yikes.”

He smiles, but it’s sad, broken, and you wonder…

How much did your lying hurt him? You’d imagined that you were suffering much more than him in this whole situation, but now… Now you’re not so sure.

Did you break Choi San’s heart by lying to him about having an ex, one that you cheated on? You feel guilty, terribly so, but then again…

He ghosted you. San did ghost you and, even if he’s in front of you right now, lying in the same bed as you, his bed, he still ghosted you.

How guilty can you feel for someone that treated you like that?

San shifts, turning on his back. He tugs the covers higher on his body, and you watch his profile, noticing his eyes fluttering shut as he gets ready to sleep some more. He looks peaceful, serene, and it’s hard to be mad at him when he looks so much like the man you fell in love with.

You sigh, closing your eyes. Looking at him for longer won’t do you too much good, and you do need the sleep, much like he said. 

Sleeping is also a way to avoid the conversation that you need to have for just a little longer and, no matter how much you think it’s due, you want this moment of peace first. If only so that you can recharge before you break.

Because what else is there to do when it comes to Choi San?

You don’t know when you fell asleep. All you know is that you wake up to the heavy weight of an arm around you some time later, and San’s warm breathing tickles the skin of your forehead. He’s visibly still asleep, but the proximity puts your whole body on high alert, and you know you won’t sleep more.

Frankly, you feel a lot better than you did when you woke up earlier. It seems the painkillers and the water kicked in, taming your headache and dehydration and, though you do still feel tired, you know you can survive the day like this.

At least that’s what you tell yourself when you push San’s arms off you. You try not to tell yourself that it just hurts, that him showing he still cares so much breaks more than heals, and you roll away from him, lying on your back on the other side of the bed.

Your motion wakes him up. You hear it in the way his breath catches in his throat, and then he sighs, shifting on his back. He stretches, cracking an eye open, and then he looks in your direction.

“You’re awake,” he says, voice deep and groggy with sleep.

“Just woke up,” you admit. “I… feel a lot better than earlier.”

He smiles, a dimple showing. “I’m glad.” 

He grabs Mr Snake - you abandoned the plushie next to him - and he cuddles it to his chest. You don’t like how it makes you feel, so you look away, staring at the ceiling.

“Do you want something to eat?” he asks.

You feel his gaze on your profile, but you’re too much of a coward to look in his direction. “I don’t know if I should eat too much. I don’t want to be sick again.”

“You should have some fruit,” he says, and he sits up. “Fruit’s going to help with the hangover. And once you eat that, you’ll be able to tell if you want to eat more or not.”

It shows that San’s had his share of hangovers in the past and you decide to trust him, nodding your head. “Alright. Nothing too much though.”

He hums in answer, and you notice him scanning the room, clearly looking for something. He looks disappointed, and you cock an eyebrow in question.

“Left my phone in the living room.” He cards a hand through his hair, glancing at you. “I don’t have food here, so I’ll order something?”

“You’ll order fruits?”

He thinks about it for a moment, and then says, “I’m pretty sure breakfast places sell fruit dishes. I’ll find something.”

“San…” you whisper his name as he’s getting up. He straightens, looking at you. You clear your throat, speaking louder. “We need to talk. Not to eat.”

You see the nervousness that passes in his features, but he tries to hide it with an easy smile. It only occurs to you then that he’s just as anxious about the situation as you are, which somehow comes as a relief.

“We need to do both.” He purses his lips, gaze dropping to the ground. “We can talk while eating.”

You don’t find it in you to argue. Though you aren’t too tired anymore indeed, the exhaustion that you’ve felt for weeks still clings to your bones, and you just don’t have the energy to argue with him.

Hell, it took all of your energy to get out of the bathroom at the party after your conversation with Jimin last night, and look where it brought you.

Back to where it all started.

“Your phone’s plugged in the kitchen, by the way,” San informs you as he starts walking towards the door. “Should I get it for you?”

You sit up, the covers falling around your waist. Thankfully, you’re still clad in his shirt, and it hides all of you from him.

But… didn’t he help you in the shower yesterday night anyway?

“Please.”

He nods, and then he’s out of the bedroom. He comes back a minute later, handing you your phone, and then he plops down on the bed next to you, the mattress bouncing with the motion. 

“I can actually get breakfast at this place and then go get it,” he says as he’s on his phone. “It’s on the street corner.”

You peek at his screen, recognizing the name of a famous breakfast branch. “You sure you want to go outside?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“There was a lot of snow last night, no?” 

He shrugs. “It’s literally like two minutes away, I’ll survive.”

You once again remain silent, and San takes that as an agreement. He orders an English breakfast, along with some pancakes and a side of fruits. He informs you that it’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, and that he’ll take a quick shower in the meantime. You elect to wait in the bedroom, and Byeol joins you, purring as you pet her while going through the texts you’ve received last night.

Most of them are from Sydney. You read them, your heart straining in your chest.

[11:37 pm] Syd (emoji?): saw u with that guy (side eye emoji) [11:37 pm] Syd: i’ll go w yun, but text me if there’s anything [00:26 am] Syd: where r u [00:41 am] Syd: hello? [00:42 am] Syd: the earth calls y/n [1:14 am] Syd: did u ditch the party or smthg? [1:59 am] Syd: girl why and how the fuck is san saying that ur w him? [2:01 am] Syd: r u okay? [2:03 am] Syd: :( [2:03 am] Syd: plz text me as soon as u see this [2:04 am] Syd: i’m really worried.. [2:31 am] Syd: home now. got ur coat

You reread the whole one-sided conversation twice, and then you type a reply, chuckling to yourself despite the way your heart still aches in your chest.

[10:43 am] You: u sound like an obsessed bf [10:44 am] You: survived the night

You send a selfie of you doing a peace sign, wincing at your ruined makeup. But you know it’ll make Sydney laugh, probably making its way into the gallery of ugly pictures that you have of the both of you for whoever gets married first, so you don’t mind the picture.

You hear the shower stop in the bathroom and, just like that, your nerves start acting up again, twisting in your stomach. You wait, looking towards the doorway, but San startles you by coming in from the previously closed sliding door that leads to the walk-in closet.

It also connects to the bathroom, which you somehow forgot.

“Sorry,” San apologizes at the sight of your widened gaze. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

He’s only wearing a pair of black joggers, and you look away from him, refusing to admire his body when the situation between the two of you is so precarious. To your relief, he quickly throws a t-shirt on, and then he comes back next to you, pursing his lips.

“I’ll go get breakfast now. Feel free to use the bathroom if needed.”

You nod, thanking him and all of three minutes later, you find yourself alone in San’s apartment. It’s strange - it’s never happened before - and part of you wants to flee the scene, to escape and never talk to him again. It’d be giving him a piece of his own medicine… but then again, a bigger part of you has been craving this. Has been craving him, and you know you won’t be able to go.

Not when you still have to have that conversation, one that will hold answers for the both of you. You don’t think it’ll heal you, don’t think it’ll bring you back together again - Choi San slipped too far away from you for you to reach for him again - but you hope it’ll help you heal somehow, and maybe give you the closure you deserve.

You look around, your gaze settling on the three little sculptures you got him to buy at Ikea. They’re still on the bedside table on the other side of the bed, bringing back memories of laughing and shopping with him, acting like you were already a couple.

Back then, you’d believed you were on your way to that. You’d believed with too much conviction, allowing it to break you so badly you were a ghost in the last few weeks. 

Another reason why you don’t think this situation between you and San can be fixed. After all, he ghosted you, avoided you like the plague - even stopped coming to class - all over something that, though it was partly true, wasn’t the full picture. 

You don’t think you’re willing to forgive someone that chose to leave instead of having a conversation, no matter how much you care about San. Because, if he was able to do this now, what tells you he won’t do it in the future again?

Your thoughts are dark. Clouded, like a storm is brewing inside your skull, and your mind goes back down the path of what happened last night, Jungkook’s words coming back to you. You remember the way he’d held your wrist, and you shiver, rubbing your skin as if it’ll erase the contact. But it doesn’t, and cold sweat breaks out on your back.

You can’t help but believe that Jungkook is right, to a certain extent. You feel like a slut, feel dirty for dancing with Minghao, almost as if you cheated on San. Which is stupid, as you weren’t even talking last night, but the guilt comes back full force, choking you up.

If it’s so easy for you to be grinding on someone, doesn’t that make you a slut? You shut your eyes, clenching your jaw.

It doesn’t. Fuck’s sake. You didn’t have sex with Minghao. You didn’t even kiss, just danced. And what’s wrong with dancing?

Jeon Jungkook can go to hell. He can go to fucking hell for making you doubt yourself again after all these years, for bringing back all those insecurities he’d given you during your relationship.

You don’t want to let him have this power over you again, but you know he has it. He’ll always have it, as he is the reason behind your trauma. Because, just by appearing in your life again, he’s making you feel the trauma again, so much so that you had to see your therapist once more.

And you’ll see her again on Monday, which will be much needed after the shit show that yesterday was.

Your train of thoughts is stopped by San coming back from the breakfast place, and he kicks off his boots by the door before walking in. You catch sight of him as he puts a paper bag down on the table, and then he shrugs off his coat, looking in your direction.

“Breakfast is served,” he says.

You nod and, knowing that you can’t push this back any longer, you get up, heading his way. He notices your naked legs, cheeks turning rosy - though you think they were already tinted red by the cold outside - and he glances towards the bathroom.

“Your clothes are in the bathroom if you want to get dressed,” he says, his eyes trailing back to you. “Or I can lend you some sweatpants if you prefer.”

You consider your options and, not wanting to be wearing more of his clothes, you reply, “I’ll just put my pants back on. Thanks.”

He nods, not replying anything, and you make your way to the bathroom, quickly hiding your legs from sight. It feels a little relieving not to be half naked anymore, and you walk out of the bathroom feeling less vulnerable. San’s gotten the food out of the paper bag while you were getting dressed, and he looks up at you as you stop next to the table.

“I also got you this,” he says, pushing a blue package your way.

You gaze down at it, your heart skipping a beat as you see he’s gotten you makeup wipes.

He said he would, didn’t he?

“Oh, thanks.” Your cheeks burn, and you mindlessly bite at your lower lip. “I’ll do that after eating?”

You don’t know why, but you say it like a question, like you need San’s approval. He just shrugs his shoulders, clearly too busy putting the paper bag away in the recycling bin, and then he’s pulling a chair for you to sit, smiling at you.

“Here, sit,” he says. “I’ll go get you the slippers you usually wear.”

He’s being too kind. Too kind, too himself, and he’s making it really hard for you to keep your walls up. But you hold on to them, only realizing now how high you’ve built them over the last few weeks - yesterday being a simple breach that you’ve fixed overnight. 

Indeed, a few deep breaths help you find that numbness you’ve been growing accustomed to, and it feels comforting somehow.

It’s easier to be clear-headed when your emotions aren’t clouding your judgment.

While you sit, San does go get the slippers, retrieving them from the closet by the front door, and then he comes back, putting them on the floor next to you. You put them on, thanking him with a small voice, and then you look at the array of food he got, settling on slices of apples to eat as he dives into the English breakfast.

“Fuck, I was hungry,” he mutters after having swallowed his first bite. “How are the apples?”

“Good.”

He nods, and then he eats some more, his eyes entirely focused on his plate. It’s awkward, the conversation you’re about to have looming over your heads like a sword of Damocles, and you decide to focus on eating too, not knowing where to start anyway.

What exactly do you want to tell Choi San? It’s like there’s so much to say but so much distance between the two of you. Where it used to be easy to talk to him, words flowing freely between the two of you, it seems like a wall has been erected, standing too tall for words to cross the distance.

At least that’s what you think, until San decides to talk, taking matters into his own hands.

“First,” he says as he keeps staring at what’s left of the eggs on his plate. “I really want to apologize. For everything.”

Though you appreciate him for starting the conversation, you don’t know how to reply to that. It’s too vague, and you just look at him as he meets your gaze. He sighs, his eyes fluttering shut for a few seconds.

“Mostly for ghosting you,” he says, finding your gaze again. “It was wrong of me to do that, but I just felt so bad about the lie and I knew I couldn’t look you in the eye. Especially considering my dad was giving me shit about his birthday around the same time. I felt really betrayed by you, and I needed the space.”

“I… understand that,” you say when he remains silent. “But it hurt so much, San. To have you disappear like that out of nowhere was horrible.”

“I know.” He rubs his face, sitting back in his chair as if he’s lost all appetite now. “I apologize. And I know words don’t mean much especially after what I’ve done, but I really apologize.”

You clench your jaw, forcing the emotions away. A deep breath helps ease the pain that wanted to take hold of your heart, and you say, “Thank you for apologizing.”

“Can I…” he trails off, tongue poking at his cheek. “No, never mind.”

You frown. “What?”

“I was going to ask you why you lied about having an ex.” He pauses, wetting his lips. “But you told me last week.”

You did. Out of anger in the bathroom after your presentation, you told him your story. But you didn’t say the full story, just mentioned the end…

So you decide to come clean now. You’ll deal with the repercussions later.

“I didn’t tell you everything,” you admit, and San’s gaze raises from his plate to look into your eyes. “Shit happened between me and Jungkook even before I cheated on him.”

San waits for a few seconds, then replies, “I figured so.”

“He…” You brace yourself, hiding your hands on your lap so that you can fiddle with your fingers. “He didn’t abuse me. At least not physically, except that time when I told him I cheated. But… he was emotionally abusive. A hell of a lot. Syd, Yunho, my parents… everyone hated him, but he was so good at talking them down to me that I started hating them too. I thought they just didn’t understand Jungkook, and that they were wrong for that and… I lost a lot of friends because of that. Syd remained, but for a while we barely even spoke.”

You pause, needing a moment to collect your thoughts. You do so while mindlessly eating an apple, and San remains silent, clearly sensing that you still have more to say.

“At first Jungkook was sweet. Obviously. But then it started going to shit. He started insulting me constantly, degrading me, saying that my opinion was wrong about literally everything and that I should listen to him. So I did. I tried to become the person he wanted me to be, but it was never enough. And he kept telling me how his friends hated me, and how I had to change if I ever wanted to be able to hang out with his friends without him being embarrassed of me…” 

A break in the flow of words hits you, and you take a deep breath before continuing, “I eventually managed to start being friends with Jimin, and his then boyfriend Yoongi, too. Jungkook didn’t like that. Especially because they started calling out his behaviour, defending me when he’d say shit in front of them… So Jungkook grew bitter, and he was even worse when it was just the two of us. Calling me names, saying I was a slut for attention, that it was no wonder I’d lost all my friends. That he understood why my family didn’t like me, and a lot of stuff like that. And then he’d apologize, say he didn’t mean it, that I was the love of his life and that he would try to be better for me…”

But he obviously never changed. “I used to believe he’d change for me. That we’d have our happy ending, that we’d grow and become right for each other. But then he kept saying how he wasn’t ready to commit, refusing to break up when I asked him if that was what he wanted. He kept saying he loved me and needed me and… come to think of it, he was just using me. Using my body, I imagine too. Because he’d get mad at me if I didn’t want to sleep with him, and then he’d punish me by refusing to touch me - cuddle, kiss or whatever - for weeks.”

“One time, we were with Jimin and…” Your eyes flutter shut as the scene returns to your mind so clearly you think you might be back then, a younger version of you too afraid to defend herself.

“Jungkook had a friend?” you let out. “A female friend. She was really obviously into him, and they kept hanging out just the two of them. Jungkook kept telling me I was insecure when I said I wasn’t comfortable with that, and that I should get help for that and… that time when Jimin was there, Jimin asked me why I was uncomfortable with her. I didn’t even know Jungkook had told him about that, so I just kinda froze and then said that she wanted to fuck him and that Jungkook being touchy with her made me uncomfortable. Because he was touchy.” You scoff. “He really fucking was, probably because it boosted his fragile ego to have her lusting after him. And Jungkook went crazy. Started screaming, insulting me about everything you can imagine. I used to write? He told me my writing was mediocre even though he never read it, told me I was a slut for having sex with him after just a few weeks of dating. He got so mad and he was screaming in my face and… I swear to God, if Jimin hadn’t been there, I think Jungkook would have killed me.”

He’d looked like he was on the verge of doing so. His eyes had been wide, showing far too much white for it to be normal, and a vein had been popping in his neck. His cheeks had been red, and he’d been gripping the armrests of the seat you’d been sitting on. He was bent over, using his height to intimidate you…

You shiver, the animalistic fear you’d felt then coming back to you. 

“Obviously, I was aware something was wrong then. With the relationship. I told him no one deserved to be loved the way he loved me, and that’s when he switched on me again, begging me to stay with him and that he’d changed and become better. He did. For a time he did, or I believed he did even though I know today that he was just trying to get me to stay. And then in the summer before college, he said he needed space and he…”

You purse your lips, clenching your fists to try to forget the emotional pain that comes from thinking about your relationship with Jungkook.

“He said he needed space, that he wanted to spend the summer with his friends. And then he ghosted me. For weeks he didn’t reply to my texts or calls.” You know San will see the parallel with what he did to you, too, and you hope he doesn’t take it too hard.

You don’t want San to believe he hurt you the same way that Jungkook did. Because, even though San did hurt you, it was never like with Jungkook with him.

“I gave up on trying to talk, and then towards the end of summer, I started believing we were broken up. One night, my family, Syd’s family and Mingi’s family had a dinner? I think I might have mentioned that to you before. But we got wine drunk, Syd, Mingi, Yun and I, and that’s when Mingi and I hooked up. By then, I really thought Jungkook and I were broken up, and so I didn’t even think I was doing anything wrong.”

Your words have shocked San. You can tell by the pale look on his features, but you don’t stop long enough for him to speak, needing for all the words to be out before you collapse. Because you will collapse - Jungkook always drains you of everything you have in you, after all.

“But then the literal fucking next day, Jungkook texted me apologizing and saying that he missed me, and that the summer without me wasn’t worth it. I said he could come over, and I told him about Mingi and…” You sigh deeply. “And you know the rest.”

The flow of words ceases like a river that dried out, and you find yourself shaking out of the memories, San’s apartment coming back into focus. San is looking at you, his features somber, and you notice the tears in his eyes.

He’s crying for you. Choi San is crying for you and that, more than everything you just told him, breaks the numbness you had shrouded yourself with, and you break, your eyes watering.

San whispers your name, and then he grabs your chair, pulling you closer to him. He wraps his arms around you, and you lay your head on his chest as you cry, sobbing for the girl that you were then, the one that got hurt time and time again so badly you thought you would die.

Hell, you think you got close to it. Without the therapy, you probably would have died… 

But you push that thought away. 

You don’t know how long you cry. It feels like your whole soul is breaking too, like the tears are never-ending, but San rubs your back through it all, a lighthouse in the storm. You hold on to him, and he holds on to you, and for a fleeting moment, you allow yourself to think that you’ll be able to heal from it all.

To heal with him, to heal the relationship that was budding between the two of you, but you’re not delusional. You both will need time, no matter the outcome of this conversation.

“Feeling better?” San murmurs once you’re done crying, a small eternity later.

You are. You feel a lot lighter, like the gravitational acceleration of the Earth suddenly turned into that of the moon, and you take a deep breath, straightening away from San. His arms stubbornly remain around you for a few seconds, but then they fall, and San just scans your features.

“Let me go get a box of tissues.”

You don’t reply, just watching him as he gets up and jogs to the bathroom, coming back with said box. He hands it to you, and while you dry your face, blowing your nose, you notice him grabbing a tissue to wipe his tears, too.

“You shouldn’t cry,” you tell him, your voice sounding nasal. 

He chuckles. “Can’t help it. I… I’m sorry about everything.”

You know that this time, he’s referring to what you went through and, surprising even yourself, you simply shrug your shoulders. “It’s not your fault.”

“No, I know. But…” he trails off, looking between your two eyes before his gaze finds safe haven in the plate in front of him. “But me trusting Jungkook over you must have felt horrible, too.”

A lump forms in your throat, but you manage to keep your gaze dry. “It did. It really did.” You pause, taking a deep, shuddering breath in. “But I do understand why you felt like you couldn’t talk to me, though.” You wet your lips. “I don’t think it justifies it. I think we’re adults and we should have talked then but… I do understand.”

He nods once, his mouth opening twice as if he’s looking for words, but not finding them. He settles on silence then, and you patiently wait, sensing that he probably is just trying to figure out what to say.

“I don’t think I deserve your understanding but…” He meets your gaze. “Thank you for giving it to me.”

Your eyes water again, but you refuse to cry more. Instead, you offer him a small smile, and he glances at your mouth before looking away, a self-deprecating scoff falling from his lips.

“I do apologize for how I treated you,” he says. “Ignoring your texts, saying that shit when we met up to practice the presentation… I only said that because I was so close to letting you back in, and I was afraid you’d hurt me again. So I tried to hurt you instead and… I’m really sorry about that.”

You can’t help it this time. You’re crying again, but it’s gentler, softer, tears sliding down your cheeks slowly like raindrops chasing each other on a window while it rains. He notices them, features twisting in pain like they’ve dealt a physical blow to him, and then he reaches for a dry tissue.

You almost move back when he brings it to your face, but then he’s gently wiping your tears, and you just look in his eyes, your heart reaching for him.

You’d kiss him. You’d kiss him right now, and it scares you to no end that you’d forgive him so easily. Didn’t you learn the lesson with Jungkook?

So you cloister yourself somewhere deep inside your soul, and you resist the temptation, slightly pulling away from his gravity.

“I also want to apologize for doing that when we had the project to take care of,” San adds. “It must have been really stressful for you.”

You nod once, looking away. “It was.”

“And also,” he quickly says. “I’m sorry you saw me with Nayeon. It was nothing, but I’m still sorry you saw that.”

Probably because you’d broken down right in front of him. You wonder how you would have reacted if the situations were reversed. If San would have seen you flirting with Minghao, and he’d started crying at the sight. The guilt would have probably eaten you right up, and you’re not sure you would have survived.

“She’d started talking to me more, and then suggested to meet up at the soccer game with our friends. It’s the first and only time I hung out with her. She was flirty and, though I know deep down she’s a good person, I have and had no interest in her like that, even if we dated in the past.”

You reckon it’s a relief, though you don’t have time to say it before San continues.

“She questioned me about you that night,” he admits. “When you…” He gulps, taking a deep breath. “When we saw you crying, she asked if something happened between us. Probably because I huh… I got upset too. I couldn’t lie to her, so I told her the truth.” He takes another deep breath, eyes fluttering shut as he continues, “She said I should talk to you. I didn’t mention my dad, but she always knew something was up with him back then and I… kinda shattered my phone screen that night because he texted me again. But anyways, she said that I clearly cared about you even though I was worried about the cheating and she said to talk to you.”

He pauses, wets his lips and then glances at you. He smiles weakly, and then says, “That’s why I replied to your text after that.” He chuckles. “I probably would have replied anyway, honestly. When you sent that angry text… I was relieved to see you could still be feisty. It reassured me that you weren’t doing too bad and… I’m aware I probably was wrong. But it was the first time I felt something else than betrayal when I thought about you. And it felt relieving.”

You chuckle too, slightly shaking your head. “That’s a wild take,” you say, recalling how sad the message had been, even though you’d gotten angry by the end. “That wasn’t written out of anger.”

“Oh, yeah, I know,” he says. “But I don’t know… I guess some part of me was proud of you for standing up for yourself, even if it was against me. Even if I already felt horrible for the whole thing.” He shakes his head, wincing slightly. “Yeah, sorry… that was really weird of me.”

You purse your lips. “Don’t worry about it. I’m weird too.”

He offers you a tentative smile, one you immediately reciprocate. And then it’s like time stretches for a little while, and you get lost in those eyes that have gotten so familiar in so little time. They host the same kind of softness they always have despite being tinged with sadness, and they feel…

They feel like home. And that, too, is scary. That, too, reminds you of how vulnerable Choi San has made you. And you don’t want to break. Never again. So you build thick walls around yourself, around your heart and soul, and you brace yourself for what you’re going to say next.

“I…” you trail off, and the words get lodged in your throat.

“You?” San lets out after a few seconds of silence.

“I appreciate you apologizing for everything,” you say. “And I do apologize for hiding my relationship with Jungkook. I really wanted to tell you when you told me about your dad, but I was too afraid of your reaction.”

“Understandably so.”

You offer him a tight-lipped smile. “And even though I understand it… I don’t think I can just forgive you like this.”

The world stops turning. The sun implodes, and then you’re all sucked towards it, hurtling through space too fast to hold onto something. At least that’s what it feels like when you watch San’s heart shattering in his eyes, his hand clenching into a fist where he’d put it on the table. But he remains silent, lips slightly parted, and you add layers of bricks to that wall around yourself, refusing for it to come down.

At the end of the day, you have to protect yourself.

“That’s okay,” San replies after a time, his voice wavering slightly. “I don’t think I deserve forgiveness.”

“But…” you add, and hope lights up his whole gaze. “I’d like for us to be friends. Or to at least be on good terms.”

He nods. “I think we can do that.”

So not only do you build walls around yourself, but you also lock up your heart deep somewhere you can’t feel it anymore, if only because you know it holds too much emotion for Choi San. Emotion you know will heal with time but, for now, you push it away. Push it away, lock it up, and throw the key out.

This time, you choose you. 

Sunday, December 22nd

The snowfall is slow, the snowflakes scarce in the wind, and the walk to the bar isn’t too bad tonight, the atmosphere not quite as heavy as it was for weeks. It helps that the neighbourhood you have to walk through has been heavily decorated for Christmas, with Christmas lights in every tree and inflatable decorations on every lawn, and the magic of the holidays lingers in the air.

There’s magic in the knowledge that you’re heading to a bar with Sydney, to meet up with Yunho and Hongjoong and the rest of them.

Including Choi San. 

Hongjoong extended the invitation himself last night, when he’d come over to have a beer and play video games with Yunho. He’d said that you could say no, but that he wanted you to feel included, as he did consider you a friend even if he’s closer to Yunho. You’d teased him, saying that you’re the best Jeong sibling anyway, and he’d rolled his eyes, saying he already regretted saying so.

But the invitation remained and so, here you are walking the streets of the city you live in, heading to an Irish bar that the boys claim is the best around town.

“Oh my God, look at this one!” Sydney happily says, pointing to a house on the other side of the street.

You were already looking at it, as music is playing from some hidden speakers, and you nod your head enthusiastically. “I know.”

You both stop, admiring the house as the lights flicker along with the music. You even end up taking a video in which you’re sure you can hear Sydney squealing as a song she particularly likes comes on, and then you resume your walk towards the bar, feeling cheerier, if that’s even possible.

The bar helps with the festive spirit. It’s been decorated as well, Christmas lights and baubles hanging from the ceiling, and there’s a big Christmas tree in a corner, with wrapped gifts underneath it. There’s a live band in a corner, and they’re currency doing a rendition of Highway to Hell that contrasts starkly with the Christmas atmosphere, yet it feels right.

Everything has felt right since you went home yesterday.

Sydney pulls you behind her to the other side of the bar, where a couple of tables have been put together to arrange your entire group. All the boys are already here, including Lyla, and she waves happily at the sight of you.

Like dominoes, everyone looks your way, and you’re greeted by a chorus of hey’s and what’s up’s. Your eyes immediately find a familiar dimpled boy, and he offers you a small smile that feels intimate. Too intimate, but you still reciprocate it before looking away, heading to where they saved seats for you and Sydney in between Yunho and Yeosang. Wooyoung and Lyla are sitting across from you, and you fall into easy conversation with them, occasionally interrupted by Jongho as he butts in once in a while.

And whenever his familiar laugh echoes in the space surrounding you, you feel yourself looking towards San, meeting his gaze for a few seconds before both returning to your own conversations. You can tell that the conversation between the two of you yesterday solved some issues, but it also inevitably created some distance between you, though the distance doesn’t feel painful.

It rather feels like it’s space to build something new, to start from the beginning, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Some time later, the group surrounding you does shots of Baileys liquor, you and Hongjoong being the only ones not to drink. You consider it for a moment, but then you remember how sick you were when you drank just two days ago, and you figure it’s better if you don’t drink tonight.

But you reckon you might start drinking a little again at some point. If only to be able to share that drink you’d once said you’d share with San, in that new territory you’re exploring with him.

Hongjoong leaves after that since he still has a final tomorrow and he needs to finish studying, and Seonghwa trails after him, not even bothering to give the group an excuse as to why he’d rather go with Hongjoong. You don’t miss the small smile Hongjoong offers him, don’t miss how private it looks, and you tuck that information somewhere hidden in your brain, to only come out if they ever acknowledge themselves that there is something going on between the two of them.

As the group finds itself getting progressively drunker - with the exception of you, obviously, you decide to go to the bathroom, needing a short reprieve from their loud energy. To your surprise, Wooyoung decides to follow you, and he happily chats to you about your finals, asking if you got the grades you expected in your class.

“So far so good,” you answer as you head towards the bathroom. “The one I’m most worried about is the presentation in the populism and conspiracy class. The one I did with San. I… kinda panicked so…” You wince, laughing awkwardly. “I’m afraid it’ll affect our grade.”

Though Wooyoung is majoring in the same thing as you, having some classes in common with you, he wasn’t in the same group for the populism class. So you don’t know if he knows about your panic attack, and his reply doesn’t inform you much either.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay,” he reassures you. “That professor is the chillest.”

You remember what the professor said about having panic attacks too, and you reckon Wooyoung might be right.

“Hopefully,” you let out.

You’re about to walk into the girl’s bathroom when Wooyoung stops you with a hand on your arm. You widen your gaze in surprise, glancing at him. He’s worrying at his bottom lip, much like you do when you’re anxious.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he quickly says. “I just… I just want to make sure we’re good.”

You can’t help the small smile that grows on your lips. “Oh, Wooyoung, of course we are.”

Relief floods his features. “I’m glad. I’m really sorry about Jimin.” He scoffs, slightly shaking his head. “Had I known everything, I would have never dated him. I don’t fuck with people who support dicks like Jungkook.”

Your heart stops in your chest. “Everything?”

“San told me,” Wooyoung admits sheepishly. “Don’t tell him I told you, though.”

Your lips part as if you want to say something, yet no words come out. You don’t know how to react - it took everything in you to tell San, and now Wooyoung knows too?

“I… do not like that look on your face,” Wooyoung says, his face turning pale. 

You blink, once, twice. “Huh,” you let out. “I didn’t think he would talk about it.”

“He was really upset,” Wooyoung reveals. “And he barely made any sense, but I think he really needed to talk to someone.”

You frown. He was upset yesterday?

“When did he talk to you?” you ask.

“Last Monday. Why?”

Your heart settles in your chest, relief washing through you. You’re relieved that San did not talk about what you said yesterday. It’s too personal and, though you appreciate Wooyoung, you don’t think your friendship is there yet.

“I thought you guys talked yesterday,” you say. “And huh, I was confused as to why he’d be upset.”

“Oh.” Wooyoung chuckles, smiling as he looks in the vague direction of the table where the rest of the group still is. “No, he was pretty happy yesterday. It was refreshing to see him do something else than sulk and wallow in a corner.”

You wince. “He really took it hard, didn’t he?”

Wooyoung holds your gaze for a few seconds. You don’t know what he reads in the depths of your eyes, but he says, “Don’t feel guilty for that. He kinda brought it upon himself by just not talking to you.” He laughs. “Especially considering that one conversation fixed everything.”

It didn’t. It didn’t fix everything - the proof is that you won’t be going home with Choi San tonight, or any nights in the future. But it did allow you to try and form a friendship with him, and you’ll forever be thankful for that.

“Well.” You shrug your shoulders. “I wouldn’t say it fixed everything but…”

Wooyoung smiles. “You’re here tonight, aren’t you?”

You are. You are, and so is Choi San, and he’s been smiling at you whenever you meet his gaze, cheeks tinting with pink. And though you only made up yesterday, the pain from everything fades whenever you see that light pink on his cheeks.

“I… I am.”

Wooyoung nods once, his lips curving upwards even more, and then he motions to the bathroom. “I’ll let you go, now. Just wanted to tell you this.”

You watch him walk away, and then you go to the bathroom. You quickly do your thing, washing your hands after, and you look at yourself in the mirror. 

You think you look pretty tonight. At least you feel pretty, with your light pastel crop top that reveals just a sliver of skin over your pale jeans. You’ve tied half of your hair back, decorating it with a light beige bow, and you’ve put on small gold hoop earrings that always give you a boost in confidence. You went light on the makeup too - just some eye shadow the same colour of your shirt along with brown eyeliner and mascara - and you feel new.

Probably because this new day has been one where there is no pain between you and Choi San for the first time in weeks. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You make your way back to the table once you’re done in the bathroom, joining in the middle of a drinking game they’ve been playing. You drink your mocktail while you play, laughing along with your friends, and you glance at San once in a while, not missing the way his cheeks are flushed with the alcohol he’s been drinking. 

Many of your friends sport the same, flushed cheeks, but you don’t find it quite as adorable on the rest of them, which you reckon might be a problem. Because you really want to be friends with San, really want to protect your heart from any more pain, and thinking about him as adorable won’t help.

So you push that thought away. Lock it up along with those feelings in the dungeons of your heart, and you take a deep breath, looking away from Choi San.

Though you’ve been enjoying yourself all evening, tired heaviness settles on you not too long after. You feel exhausted, and you reckon you might head home soon, your bed calling for you. Yet you linger around for as long as you can, not wanting the night to end so soon.

Not when it’s been so healing.

But your energy soon doesn’t match the group’s anymore, as they’re all getting progressively drunker, and you decide to call it a night, telling them that you’re going home.

Sydney whines, saying that she doesn’t want to leave right away, and you pat her shoulder, telling her that you’re okay to walk alone. And though you know it can be dangerous for a woman to walk alone at night, you also know the neighbourhood you have to walk through is the safest around here, so you really don’t mind walking home alone.

“Just stay,” you reassure Sydney. “I’ll be fine.”

“M’kay,” she lets out, and then she grabs her shot glass, pushing it towards Yunho. “Gimme more soju, then.”

You laugh as Yunho obeys, pouring a shot for your best friend, and then you put your coat on, wishing good night to everyone. Most of them are too busy to notice you leaving, and you don’t mind it, not when they’re obviously just engrossed in the game they’re playing.

You make it to the gentle winter night outside, walking five meters from the door before it opens and your name is called.

You turn, raising your eyebrows at the sight of San struggling to put his coat on, his hand clutching what unmistakably looks like a gift bag.

“Wait,” he adds, and then he jogs over to you. He manages to finish slipping his arm in the sleeve of his coat, and he smiles at you hesitantly when he stops in front of you.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

He shrugs, glancing around. The snow is still falling, and fat snowflakes fall on his head, the white contrasting deeply with the dark strands.

“I’ll walk you home,” he says, and then he chuckles. “I need some air anyway.”

“You really don’t have to walk me home, it’ll take you forever to come back.”

“Ah, that’s fine,” he reassures you. “I’ll go home after.”

And though it might not be a good idea for you two to spend time alone like this right now, you don’t find it in you to insist that he doesn’t walk you home. Instead, you look in the direction of your apartment, and you say, “Alright then. Let’s go.”

When he turns and starts walking, the bag he’s holding brushes against your legs. You eye it curiously, but you don’t say anything, mostly because you don’t want this to be what you think it is.

You don’t want San to have gotten you a gift. Not when you want to try and exclusively be friends with him this time around.

Your walk is mostly silent at the beginning, though it’s not awkward. You listen to the sound of the night, though it’s mostly muffled by the falling snow. There are fewer people out at this hour, but you do walk past some of them as they look at the Christmas lights together, couples hand in hand and friends just laughing around. The atmosphere is light, and you can’t help the small smile on your lips as you walk.

“This place is so nice,” San says, and he motions to the house you and Sydney stopped in front of earlier.

You nod, glancing at him to see his eyes scanning the many lights. The lights reflect in his gaze, making his eyes look like they’re shining, and his features are cast in a soft glow that makes him look almost boyish.

He looks at you, a dimple showing, and it strikes you so deep you find yourself looking away, glancing at the house.

“Yeah, Syd and I saw it earlier,” you say, and you hope he thinks your cheeks are turning red because of the cold. “There was music earlier though.”

Indeed, the music has been turned off, most likely to the relief of the neighbours, but the lights shine on and on, still following a silent melody.

“No way,” San lets out.

You nod, and you mindlessly pull your phone out of your coat’s pocket. You open it, and then go to your pictures, clicking on the video you took.

“Look,” you say, and you make to hand him your phone, but San just steps closer to you, looking down at the screen. 

He’s so close you can feel the body heat coming off him, and it takes everything in you not to step away as if he’ll burn you. But you remain still, your throat going dry, and you take a breath of relief once he steps away.

“Damn, Syd really loved those.”

For a moment, you don’t understand what he means, but then you remember Sydney’s shrieks in the video, and you quickly nod your head. “Oh yeah. We both did, but she got really excited.”

San offers you a small smile, and then you resume your walk towards your apartment. The silence doesn’t linger this time around, as San asks, “How are she and your brother doing?”

“They’re doing amazing,” you answer, a secret smile curving your lips upwards. “They’re adorable.”

“They really are,” he comments. “Yunho looks so in love with her.”

“Gosh, he is,” you agree. “He’s a goner for her.”

And you wouldn’t have it any other way - Sydney deserves the most beautiful kind of love this world has to offer, and Yunho will always give it to her.

“Yeah.” San chuckles, glancing at you. “You don’t ever feel weird about it?”

You shrug. “Not really. As you know, I alway kinda rooted for them? So I’m just happy that they finally got their heads out of their asses and started dating.”

Even if you end up alone sometimes, thinking about what you lost. Yet what you lost is standing next to you tonight, like maybe you didn’t really lose it after all.

“Right.” San looks ahead, and then glances up at the snow. “I’m happy for them too.”

There’s a moment of silence, though you catch San looking at you a couple of times, like he wants to say more.

“What?” you ask.

He chuckles awkwardly, and you don’t miss the way his cheeks darken slightly. “Your brother can be… scary when he wants to. be”

Boy do you agree but… why is San telling you this right now?

“What did he do?” you ask. 

Because of course he has to have done something.

“He told me some stuff,” San replies vaguely. “For a moment, I genuinely thought he was going to punch me.”

That does sound like Yunho indeed.

“Yikes,” you let out. “I’m sorry.”

San quickly shakes his head, his gaze wide. “No, no, don’t be sorry. He’s just looking out for you.” He offers you a tight-lipped smile. “He’s a good brother.”

He is. You’re really thankful that Yunho is your brother, and have been ever since you were younger. Though you did have a phase growing up that you hated each other, much like every sibling, you love your brother.

“Yeah,” you reply.

Silence settles around the two of you again as you near your apartment. You can’t help but wonder exactly what Yunho said to San. You would have loved to see the scene, though maybe that’s just the sadist part of you speaking.

You wonder, were the other guys there when it happened? You’d love to hear their opinion on it all, and you reckon that might make you a bad person.

“Hey,” you let out, almost startling yourself. Because you don’t know what to say at first, but then your brain figures it out. “I noticed something earlier, and I need you to tell me if I’m crazy.”

You’re turning on your street, and you know you’ll have to make this quick.

“What’s up?”

You purse your lips, wondering if it’s a good thing to say anything. But then you throw caution to the wind - it’s San beside you after all.

“Is it me or is there something going on between Hongjoong and Seonghwa?”

San’s brow creases. “Hongjoong and Seonghwa?” he repeats, and you nod. “I don’t know? Why do you think that?”

You hum. “Mmmh, because they left together earlier.”

“I didn’t even realize,” San admits. “Did they really?”

“Yeah.” You chuckle. “It’s probably just me imagining things.”

San’s lips curve upwards. “Considering that you were spot on about your brother and Syd, you might be onto something here too.”

“Right!” you let out happily. “It’s the way they look at each other.”

“Is it?”

You nod. “It really is.”

San laughs at your enthusiasm, and the sound does something that it shouldn’t to you, not after all the pain he put you through.

It’s been a day, you remind yourself. You can’t forgive him after a day.

“I’ll have to believe you on this,” San says, and you both slow down as you reach your building. “I don’t know Seonghwa enough to tell.”

“Didn’t you go to high school with him?” you ask as you stop in front of San, glancing at your door.

“Yeah.” He purses his lips, shrugging his shoulders. “But I’ve never really been close to him.”

“Oh.”

It’s awkward. It suddenly gets awkward, and you can’t ignore the gift bag San is holding anymore. Especially as he holds it up, handing it to you.

“I got you a gift,” he says. His cheeks turn pink. “I know we… barely made up, but I just.” He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. “I just thought you might like it?” His tongue pushes in his cheek. “Not that you have to keep it. If you don’t want it, I’ll just keep it.”

He’s rambling. Choi San is rambling because he got you a Christmas gift, and you want to hate him for it. Want to hate how vulnerable and small and endearing he is right now. You want to remember how much he hurt you, want to remember to hold onto the lesson he taught you instead of letting him hurt you again.

But fuck, it’s so hard when he’s being like this.

“You really didn’t have to,” you say, and you grab the bag. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s okay,” he quickly reassures you. “You really didn’t have to get me something.” He wets his lips. “Like, I’m not expecting you to get me a gift just because I got you one.”

Your gaze widens as he falls silent, and his gaze drops to the ground like he’s defeated.

“Thank you,” you whisper, and he looks up at you. “For the gift.”

He nods once. “It’s nothing.”

You disagree, but you don’t voice it, instead pulling the tissue paper out of the bag. You catch a glimpse of something black, and you hand the paper to San so that you grab the object.

It’s soft, fluffy, and a plush toy you’d hugged to your chest all night Friday night.

“Oh, San, I can’t take it from you,” you say, meeting his gaze.

“You’re not,” he quickly says. “I huh…” His cheeks are bright red, and he looks like he wants to disappear through the ground. “I went back to the arcade last night to get another one.”

“You did not.”

“I did,” he insists, right as your eyes fill with tears.

“San…”

I just…” he trails off. “I noticed how you were hugging Mr Snake and I figured you’d like having one for yourself.”

You’re speechless. All you can do is look down at the plush toy in your hands, its comically long tail hanging between you and San. You fight off the tears that want to pour from your eyes, blinking quickly as you clear your throat.

“Thank you.”

It’s barely above a whisper, but San hears it nonetheless, offering you a hopeful smile. “You like it?”

“Like?” you repeat, and you let out a small, disbelieving laugh. “I love it.”

He grins and you think, that might be the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received. A gift you shamelessly tuck in the corner of your heart, to warm you up whenever the days get cold.

“I’m glad you do,” he says.

You glance at Mr Snake number two, a smile splitting your features open. “I’ll be sleeping with this tonight.”

“And I’ll sleep with Mr Snake,” San replies solemnly. 

It sounds like a promise. A promise that, despite the distance between the two of you, you’ll always have that closeness of two people that almost made it. Of two people that would have loved each other under different circumstances, but fell away like it wasn’t meant to be.

And even if Choi San and you might have not been meant to be, your heart feels warmer than it has in months when you go to bed that night, hugging the plushie to your chest,

You imagine San doing the same on his side of town, and you fall asleep with a smile on your lips.

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☆☆☆☆☆

they finally talked, and the world is healing, and this jungkook is an asshole and you can scream at me if you want. and also, if you ever experienced something similar and need to talk about it, you can reach out to me <3 hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you think about it!

All rights reserved to @oddinary4bts, 2025. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[sleepyhollands]

false god

PAIRING harry styles x reader

SUMMARY harry’s having trouble finding enough time to spend with y/n, even after she drops everything and joins him on tour. when they talk, they only seem to argue. when they don’t, they only seem to fuck.

WARNINGS she’s an angsty one— lots of miscommunication, poorly executed arguments, and general couple fighting content. BUT!! there is lots of really cute fluff at the end :> also, beware of smutty content such as soft!dom harry (my favorite), oral (f!receiving, implied m!receiving), unprotected p in v, a brief hesitation to get naked on y/n’s part, an even more brief mention of bondage play, harry leaves like one love bite, and tooth-rotting holding each other while having sex content. lmk if i missed anything!

WORD COUNT 5.5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE fun fact this was supposed to be done months ago and then literally everything that could have gotten in my way did just that. but she’s here now!! writing this was a challenge but i feel so good about it now that it’s complete and i can’t wait for you all to read it. please lmk you enjoyed by leaving feedback and/or reblogging!! special thanks to @cherryjuiceblues for beta reading for me <3 ily <3

LOVER SELECTION one-shots here.

copyright © sleepyhollands. all rights reserved. || my masterlist.

“harry, it doesn’t matter if—”

“it does to me!”

“hey, there are two people in this relationship, you know.”

“yeah, an‘ one of ’em feels like right shit on what’s meant to be the greatest tour of his life! doesn’t that mean anythin‘ to you?”

“of course it does, i just—”

“really? ’cause y’could’ve fooled me, love.”

“harry, i swear, if you interrupt me one more time, i’m booking the next flight home.” 

… tour had been going really well for harry! he was playing back to back sold out shows in some of the biggest cities in the world, with adoring fans lining up by the thousands, itching to hear him sing live. he’d already had some really sweet interactions on stage, and no crazy mishaps had occurred (he was especially proud of himself for having ensured everyone’s safety so far). just in the last week alone, he’d been nominated for three different awards for his newest album and performances. anyone could see that he was living a dream— the dream, really. the kind that only comes true once in a blue moon. 

and yet… tour had been going really poorly for harry. now, he doesn’t like to complain about much; he knows just how fortunate he is, and actively tries to see the bigger picture when frustrated. but it was really hard to zoom out of his particular situation when he was so zeroed in on a particular aspect that had been bugging him for weeks— y/n. 

don’t get him wrong! y/n herself wasn’t what was bothering him. it was more so her presence, and his… lack thereof. 

if there’s one thing harry prides himself on more than anything, it’s being an attentive lover— even in the most innocent and platonic of ways. he tries his absolute hardest to be a supportive brother, a considerate son, a (hopefully) decent role model to those who look up to him, and especially a present, loving boyfriend. and for the most part, he’s just as successful in those aspects as he is in his career. in fact, y/n regularly speaks of how harry treats her like she hangs the stars in the sky just for him, how he makes her feel like the most special girl in the world. 

but this tour was taking its toll, and harry was taking it out on y/n. he’s never been great at communicating everything in the most positive of ways— that’s where he turns to songwriting— and he’d let his emotions get the better of him after letting them build up for the past couple of weeks. he wasn’t proud of himself, but he needed an outlet. 

harry didn’t mean to start the fight. but when y/n asked him where he’d been after a last minute management meeting following that night’s show kept him an extra half hour later than he said he’d be, it was like all the frustration just erupted. inadequacy is one of his least favorite feelings (next to loneliness), and being a barely-there or only-sometimes-there boyfriend couldn’t be more of a trigger for that particular emotion. 

now here they were, vexation filling the tour bus around them like a fog they could barely see through, inhaling it with every breath and releasing it back into the atmosphere surrounding them. harry huffed out a sigh, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he angrily looked out the window of the tour bus to distract himself for a moment, having to mentally step away from the argument at hand, even if just for a few seconds. watching as the dark streets outside shined with the headlights of other vehicles, he found himself wishing he were in one of them. it would be nice to be in a car alone, nothing but his thoughts and some music to keep him company. 

but he had real company. she was standing not six feet away from him, emulating his defensive position with her arms drawn across her own chest, jaw clenching and relaxing every other moment. when he finally turned to look at her again, he exhaled loudly. 

“we were crazy to think that this could work,” he mumbled, barely audible to y/n, but she was able to make it out. 

even when they fought, the girl seemed to be in sync with him, inhaling deeply, subconsciously countering his previous expulsion of breath. the yin to his yang.

“what are you talking about?”

harry groaned at her words. how didn’t she get this? “y/n, i’m never around! i wake up when you’re still asleep, prepare for the day, go to the venue, help set up the stage, sound check, rehearse a bit, and then ’m off t’go get ready for a show that lasts two hours. almost each night! i come back exhausted and aching to sleep! where d’you see yourself fitting in there?”

when y/n realized it was her turn to speak again, she said, “first off, do you think you could please calm down a little? i can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

his eyes narrowed. “like what?”

“when you’re acting like a child, harry! i mean, for god’s sake, i’m not nine! i can handle hanging out on my own for a few days at a time and just getting to cuddle with you at night until you have a day off. it’s not like i don’t have things to do throughout the day, too.”

while harry tended to say things he didn’t exactly believe in the heat of the moment, y/n meant every word she uttered. she really was content relaxing in the tour bus or a hotel room taking care of work on her laptop, catching up on new episodes of her favorite shows, or even going out to explore whatever new city they were in by herself. harry had breaks between show days once or twice a week, and the thought of having those days to themselves was enough to sate her desire to spend time with him. it annoyed her that he didn’t understand that, as she’d never been the clingy type and was always very self-sufficient. 

“oh, i’m acting like a child, am i? right, i didn’t realize that wanting t’be present in my relationship with my girlfriend was childish, but hey, you learn something new every day, i s’pose.” 

oh, y/n was really starting to seethe now. letting her arms fall to her sides with a frustrated puff, she began again. 

“god, harry, you’re not childish for wanting to spend time together! i’m saying you need to realize that i’m perfectly capable of waiting for your days off to really spend time with you. you’re acting like we can’t function without each other!”

“the whole idea of you comin‘ on tour with me was to have this time together, y/n,” harry fired back. “if we’re barely going to get to see each other anyways, then what’s the bloody point?”

…

harry might have spoken too soon. at least, that’s what he thought as he laid overtop y/n on the tour bus couch, because now the point might very well be getting to just feel her lips on his every now and again. 

it was late; harry had just come back from a show. usually, he’s too tired to do anything but crash onto a cloud-like mattress after all the jumping around he does on that stage, but this time all he wanted was his girl. it’d started innocently enough, with harry pulling y/n into his lap on the worn, red leather of the couch. his hands roamed along her hips and down to her waist beneath her soft hoodie (which wasn’t even technically her’s, but is it really theft if harry just leaves his clothes lying around for her to nab?), exploring the soft expanse of her skin, not straying any lower. her own hands were hidden in his curls, lightly scratching at his scalp in what she hoped were soothing motions. 

harry knew he was done for once he initiated the kiss. tentative at first, he pressed light pecks along the corner of her mouth, quick and feathery, like he didn’t really care if he got to kiss her so much as he got to hold her, or simply be with her. but soon, the eagerness set in, like he wasn’t sure when the next time he’d get to have her was, and suddenly he was capturing her mouth with his own, barely giving her a chance to breathe as he tasted her. while harry never really believed in a higher power, he could have sworn he found religion in her lips. 

things only escalated from there. it wasn’t long before harry was wrapping his muscular arms around y/n, so tight that he accidentally squeezed too hard, earning a squeak from the girl. he muttered a hushed but sincere “’m sorry, darling,” to compensate. one hand supported her head, the other splayed across her back as he laid her against the cushions so that he could keep loving on her on the way down. he relished her little whimpers that she tried so hard to suppress, grinning against her jawbone, her neck, any skin he came across on his journey south to more pressing territory. 

harry didn’t bother removing y/n’s hoodie, opting instead to push it up past her naval in favor of gaining access to the waistband of her fluffy sleep shorts. he felt her hands tighten their grip ever so slightly on his shoulders as he hooked his fingers under it, relaxing again when he rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along her hipbone, reminding her it was only him. 

it was a thing with y/n. she loved harry, of course she did, and she trusted him more than anyone. and maybe it was the way she was brought up, or perhaps a few poor experiences with sexual partners in the past, but there was always a fleeting moment of anxiety before shedding the clothing barrier before sex. like dipping a toe into a cold lake and hesitating a little, then ultimately deciding that jumping in wouldn’t be so bad. 

harry never pried. the first few times they’d slept together, he noticed her nerves, and asked her if she was sure she wanted to continue. y/n had said yes each time, and after a while, he stopped asking. but still, whenever he noticed that brief nervous shift, harry gave her a chance to change her mind. 

this time, he bided his time by sponging tender kisses right above where his fingers were still half hidden under her shorts. he wanted her to feel safe, and taken care of, and he hoped his gentle touches and even breathing could remedy her anxiety. as he waited, harry’s mind drifted…. he was getting lost in the feel of her soft skin, its dips and curves and blemishes. he thought about her waist, how his hands fit so perfectly against its sides; her tummy, and how the muscles there jolted when he tickled them; and her hips… god, if y/n’s body was a church, her hips could be the altar. harry was ready to say a prayer right then, thanking every higher power for blessing him with this gorgeous girl—

“harry?” his love’s melodic voice interrupted his thoughts, and harry’s eyes snapped up to meet hers, his nose continuing to skim just above her navel. “um… you can keep going. please.” 

the corner of harry’s mouth quirked upward, and y/n could have sworn she caught a glimpse of mischief in the jade of his irises, but it was gone in an instant, as he wasted no time in stripping her of her bottoms.

…

“god, h-harry,” panted y/n, her grip on his curls constricting with every lick to her core, “’s so good, oh—”

“would feel even better if y’stopped trying t’run away from me, wouldn’t it? don’t wanna have to tie you down.”

y/n couldn’t help it! it wasn’t her fault if harry’s tongue was just too good and her body’s natural reaction was to attempt to escape his grip for a little relief. if anything, he should be happy— they’d been at this for so long y/n lost count of the minutes, and after two toe-curling orgasms, one would think harry’s jaw could use a break. 

but that thought flew out the window when y/n remembered who she was metaphorically in bed with. 

“’m sorry…,” she whimpered, gripping the side of the couch cushion as her eyes squeezed shut.

“don‘ have to be sorry, darling,” harry mumbled against her folds, chin glistening with her arousal as he placed a soft kiss to y/n’s clit, making her jolt in his hold. he breathed a short laugh, adjusting his arms so that one held her upper thigh next to his head, while the other pinned her hips to the red leather, restricting her ability to move. “jus’ wanna make you feel as good as possible, is all. will y’let me?”

harry turned his head, nipping at the inside of the girl’s thigh, and she gasped at the brief assault on the softest skin of her body, now adorning the mark of his front teeth that she loved so much. she shuddered a breath as best she could, and harry could tell by the way her knuckles were turning white in their grip on the couch that she was trying her best to be good. feeling a twinge of guilt, he figured maybe he should offer her a second to breathe. y/n opened her eyes when she felt harry’s lips retreat from her aching cunt and the weight of his head rest against the love bite. 

“hey.”

y/n cast her gaze down upon the boy (who looked far too innocent, considering what they were doing) with his cheek laid on her inner thigh, stray hairs tickling her just a tad. playfulness swam in his eyes, but there was an underlying current of concern. 

“doin‘ okay?”

she nodded, gulping. harry noticed. 

“because we can take a break if you want to. just say the word, okay?”

“i will, i-i promise. but… can you please keep going?”

that was all he needed to get right back into it, only with even more fervor than before. when y/n reached her third and final peak of the night, her whole body shook, and harry had the pleasure of getting to watch as he helped her ride out her high. he almost came in his pants, rutting his hips into the sofa, moaning against her core, begging her give it t’me, love, that’s it.

harry pulled back when she started pushing at his head, whining for relief as he gave one final lap at her core. he grinned at her fucked-out figure as he wiped his face on his forearm, then took her hand that had been grasping at the cushion in one of his, bringing the back of it to his lips for a gentle kiss. 

“feel all right, baby?”

“mhm,” she hummed between heaving breaths, glancing at what she assumed could only be a quite painful stiffy between his legs as he sat up, “do you?”

harry followed her line of vision, offering her a chuckle and an i’m fine, using his free hand to smooth his thumb along her brow. before he could even register it, her palm slipped from the grip of his other hand and traveled down to rub against the bulge in his pants, earning a sharp hiss from her boyfriend and a deep groan soon after. 

“why don’t you let me repay the favor?”

…

harry was pretty sure y/n was asleep. if she wasn’t, she was definitely on the verge— her breaths were deep and even as she laid in his hold, her head on his chest, ear pressed overtop his steadily beating heart. and who could blame her? the evening’s activities had worn her out, which meant harry had done his job properly. he was more than happy to be wide awake, running his fingertips up and down her arm, inhaling the sweet scent of her fruity body wash while she dreamt if it meant she was rested and content and happy. 

moments like these made harry think they could get away with it. the long hours spent apart, the hectic schedules, the fighting. sure, it was tough, and yes, they both had a temper that rivaled one another’s for the ‘least amount of patience award’ on any given day. but every missing ounce of patience was compensated by double its weight in love. they loved one another enough to make it work. 

they could make this work. 

right?

…

“jesus, harry, how do you think that makes me feel? you’d honestly rather i not be here? are you actually that insecure?”

“c’mon, y/n, you know tha’s not what i meant.”

y/n felt like they were going around in circles, having the same fight over and over again. only this time, the couple found themselves in a beautiful hotel room, with a beautiful view overlooking a beautiful city. and instead of getting to enjoy it, y/n was glaring at harry though the vanity mirror, his back facing her as he tamed his wild curls for tonight’s show… which he had to leave for in just a few short minutes. 

the balled up fist on y/n’s hip flew up to her face, fingers flexing to pinch at the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeezed shut for a moment. 

“i can’t believe this. i dropped everything to be here with you— to support you on the most incredible tour of your career— and instead of being happy i’m here as opposed to the alternative of thousands of miles away in a different time zone for months, you’re sitting here bitching about being too tired?” 

harry sighed deeply, only infuriating y/n more. “you’re missing the point. ’s not that i don’t want you here, or just that ’m too tired. ’s knowing you’re sitting around by yourself, waiting on me while ’m working, when you could be out with friends and family, or sleeping in the comfort of your own bed—”

“that you’re not in!” the girl loudly interjected— how didn’t he get this? “i put all those things aside for us, har. it’s not like i’m leaving my life behind for years. christ’s sake, the tour is over in two months! but somehow, being away from my home and routine is easier than being in the same room as you right now.”

harry contemplated his next words carefully, turning them over in his head a few times and editing any obvious mistakes, leaving the pair of them to marinate in suffocating silence for a good ten or so seconds before he finally spoke. 

“y/n… i can’t be a good boyfriend and a serious artist simultaneously, okay? not while ’m on tour. i can’t keep losing sleep over how well i’m balancing—”

“okay, you know what, harry? you know what? maybe you should just leave me, then. wouldn’t that be easier? you’d be able to sleep better at night, right?”

they both knew she didn’t mean it, though harry couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt to hear. but she was pissed, and harry knew better than to try to reason with her when she was like this. 

when she realized he wasn’t going to respond, instead electing to stare brokenly into the mirror, she continued. “you know damn well how hard i work for this relationship. i’ve flown across the oceans that have separated us, driven for hours just to get to see you for, like, one— hell, i’ve skipped some of my most important classes so we could go to shitty dive bars in the middle of the day together! yeah, remember that? i love you, okay? people who love each other are supposed to be grateful for any time they have together at all, no matter if it’s every day or once a year.”

y/n took a breath, finally cooling down after her heated rant. she took a moment to take in the sight of her boyfriend, dressed so vibrantly, feeling anything but. 

“they warned us about times like this,” the defeated tone of y/n’s whisper was enough to finally get harry to say something. 

“what was that, love?”

the girl swallowed the little saliva in her mouth before speaking up a mere decibel. “remember what my parents said? ‘the road gets hard, and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith,’” she imitated her father’s deep voice, and if not for the circumstances, harry might’ve laughed. 

they weren’t lost, were they?

…

if there was such a thing as heaven on earth, y/n is pretty sure she’s been there. in fact, she goes there whenever harry so much as touches her. 

when he kisses her shin as they lay watching a movie together on the couch, pulling her leg up off his lap and craning his neck downward to meet it in the middle. when he runs his fingers down the bridge of her nose, making an exaggerated boop! noise once he reaches the tip, gently pressing against it like a doorbell. and especially when he has her like this. 

harry’s arms felt secure wrapped around y/n’s torso, her hips moving back and forth atop his own. the feeling of his cock twitching and shifting inside her while her nipples rub deliciously along his chest made her dizzy, like she had just gotten off a loopy rollercoaster. harry’s back arched just slightly off the plush mattress of their hotel suite’s bed when y/n gave a little bounce, arms constricting around her and forcing a pleased sigh to fall from her lips. 

the girl hid her face in the crook of his neck, and harry could feel each and every hot breath against his skin. lost in pleasure, he let his large hands migrate from her hips down to her bum, where he gave a small pinch to the flesh, eliciting a yelp and a small jolt from y/n. 

“sorry, baby,” he laughed, “couldn’t help m’self.” harry gently flattened his palm against the now tender skin, rubbing there softly in an attempt to soothe the little ache he left. when he felt satisfied, he shifted to rubbing between her shoulder blades instead, his other arm still wrapped around her lower back as she returned to her previous rhythm above him. 

y/n could tell harry was enjoying himself. his groans alone were evidence enough, not to mention the little utterances of “shit, darling,” and “so good t’me,” he frequently let slip. but perhaps he just needed a bit more to reach his high, because without warning his hands were on her thighs, gripping tightly as he began to thrust upwards into her at a much quicker pace than she had originally set— it had her seeing stars in a matter of mere seconds. 

“oh, god— harry,” y/n gasped out, gripping the edge of the plush pillow by harry’s ear. she could feel him hitting that special spot inside her with every snap of his hips, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling back into her head, muscles tightening all throughout her body. 

“almost there, angel… just…,” harry’s thrusts began to slow, becoming more deliberate, and now he was moving her hips to grind against his each time they met, sending y/n over the edge. 

y/n’s moans were long and drawn out as she came, body spasms making her hold on more tightly to harry for stability. she didn’t even hear him finish, too busy reveling in the euphoric feeling of cumming in his arms, surrounded by warmth and love and feeling the safest she had in a long while. 

it was moments like these where y/n couldn’t fathom how she’s ever been upset with harry. he was perfect, lying here under her unsteady body, breathing deeply not only to catch his breath, but to take in the smell of her. she wanted this for eternity. and if this was heaven, then surely hell was when they fought with each other. 

…

y/n thought she was dreaming at first, not used to being roused from her slumber by anything other than her well-timed alarm and the occasional bark of a dog on a nearby street. she expected that after blinking the sleep from her eyes a few times, the vague image of her favorite boy would dissipate, and she’d fall back into the comfort of her warm pillow. but when she squeezed them shut once, then twice, and her boyfriend’s face was still a foot away from her’s, brushing his fingertips up her nose and along her brow, she set aside her exhaustion in exchange for confusion.

now, harry knew better than to wake y/n up. in most circumstances, she’d tell him off, or gently kick at him to get him to leave her alone. he found it rather endearing, and it’s one of the reasons he’s so protective of her in her sleep— always holding her close to keep her safe, shielding her eyes from any light intruding on the space she lay, making sure both their phones were set to ‘do not disturb.’ but he had to make an exception, just this once. 

“darling,” she barely registered his whisper, “wake up f’me, please?”

a whine fell from y/n’s lips, her eyes scrunching shut as she turned her body away from him, which harry knew was code for let me sleep, for fuck’s sake! a smile graced his lips at the action, jotting down a mental note to make this up to her later. 

compensating for the newfound distance between them, harry scooted closer to her. he kneeled on the floor next to the bed, close to the pillows she rested upon. he laid one arm against the mattress, perching his chin on the back of his wrist. using his free hand, he continued to brush his fingertips lightly against his love’s cheek, her jaw— all along her face, really. god, her loves her face so much.  

“please, baby?”

harry had just come back from one of his best performances yet— the crowd’s energy was unmatched, the chemistry between him and his band members was palpable, and he’d managed to not get hit with any flying objects all night! but what really did it for him was the fan project he was surprised with at the end of the show. thousands of people in the room wore light-up bracelets that shone pink and blue during one of his favorite songs, ‘love of my life.’ if harry’s heart had been any more full in that moment, it might’ve exploded right there in his chest. 

he had been on cloud nine for a moment. but soon, realization washed over him in a way that squeezed at his lungs, stealing his breath for a second. the love of his life was somewhere miles away, probably sitting in their hotel room watching a comfort film, oblivious to anything he was feeling on that stage. he just wanted to go home to her and gush about what had happened, and how he wished she’d been there, and how it made so much sense that it would happen during ‘love of my life’ because it was the perfect representation of the amount of love he had for his, and how if she’d have been there, he would have looked directly at her and smiled the whole time. 

it made him realize how bloody stupid he was.

in retrospect, the conversation he’d needlessly just woken y/n up for could have waited until morning. but then harry wouldn’t have been able to sleep if he didn’t tell her he was sorry right away. 

a groan sounded through the room, followed by the ruffling of bedsheets as the girl turned back over to glare annoyedly at harry. he let out a soft laugh at her behavior. 

“’m sorry, baby. know you jus‘ wanna sleep right now, but ’s it okay if we talk for a mo‘?”

“now?” y/n asked in a gravelly voice.

“now, m‘ love.”

with a soft sigh, she relented, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her knuckles. harry caught the motion, bringing his hands up to pull hers away from her face. he didn’t like when y/n did that, as she always managed to do it too roughly. instead, he held her smaller hands in his own, getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, facing her. 

“what is it?” y/n asked through a yawn. harry looked at her for a moment— really looked at her— before responding.

“i’m sorry.”

it took her a moment to register his words. “for waking me up?”

harry laughed that dreamy laugh she loved so much, and it almost made up for the fact that she was up at twelve thirty in the morning. “no, y’little minx. not for that. well, yes, for that, but that’s not what i meant.”

“what are you sorry for, then?” 

harry looked at her with an expression y/n couldn’t place. it look him a few beats to speak. “i… i’m sorry i was such a prick before. i love that you’re here, an‘ that i get t’see you when i’m off. know you put aside a lot for this, an‘ i ruined it with m’own problems. didn’t mean to.”

y/n’s features softened at the boy’s sincerity, and if it weren’t for the warmth his hands encapsulating hers provided, she’d have reached out and held his face, peppering kisses over every dip and curve. 

“i know you didn’t…. i’m sorry, too.”

“for what?”

“i should’ve listened better. you were trying to tell me how you felt and i just disregarded it. that wasn’t very nice of me, either.”

the right corner of harry’s lips tugged upwards, morphing his mouth into that little half-grin y/n adored so much. “think we can get past it, darling?”

the girl scooted forward the tiniest bit, harry’s magnetic pull too hard to resist. though they were the only two in the room, she whispered, “i’ll forgive you if you forgive me.” harry liked how she made something so simple sound like a secret deal between them.

harry’s half-smile quickly quirked up, completing itself, and y/n swooned over his dimples and adorable bunny teeth. a short and quiet breath of a laugh fell past his lips, and for a moment, he just looked at her. but his gaze caught a glimpse of uncertainty in her eyes, and his grin faltered a bit. 

y/n was always good at hiding her true emotions when she wanted to. not when it really mattered, don’t get her wrong— she wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit. but at dinner with her parents or meetings at work, she was able to pretend she wasn’t exhausted or annoyed. it never worked with harry, though. he could read and understand her like his own lyrics, and tonight was no exception. he saw through the mask of humor at her uncertainty, and a pang of guilt bloomed in his chest. 

he let out a sigh as he beckoned her forward by gently tugging her hands, still in his, toward him. “c’mere, baby,” he said softly, pulling his love into his lap. y/n curled into him, knees tucked upward into her chest as his strong arms found purchase around her frame, holding her tenderly but securely. one of harry’s large hands held the back of her head against him, her ear right over his heart, listening to it beat for her. 

“love you like crazy. you’ve no idea.” he peppered light kisses to the top of her head, so softly she might’ve missed one or two. “thank you for comin‘ an‘ s’porting me. means the world, honestly.” 

“i’m happy to be anywhere with you, har,” she replied in a voice honey-thick with sleep. “even if it’s just for a few minutes. always so happy to have you.”

harry closed his eyes, laying back into the pillows, bringing y/n down with him so that she was laying overtop his sturdy body, inhaling his every exhale. 

“you have me,” he said, though he was almost certain she didn’t hear him, likely already pulled into the void of sleep, drawn in by the comfort of harry’s arms, his smell, him. 

“you’ll always have me.”

taglist (final time using the old one, see new link in bio): @fahsey @caswinchester2000 @lmaotshollandd @jackiehollanderr @nervousdadmode @amii-nyc @skitmix @auggie2000 @voguesir @yourgoldengirls @hunnybunimdun @lolooo22 @atoris-fantasy

[firefly--bright]

HEYY HOW ARE YAAA! 🥹

god yes i miss jean deeply too, could i request hcs of jean spending summer with his s/o (and connie+sasha) ? lemonades, picnics, and cliff diving is the image i have in mind! but feel free to take it in any direction really 💕

love love your works so much and i hope you’re having a good day 🫶

HI im so sorry for the late response i was stuck in employment hell :( BUT this is such a fun ask <3 hope you like this!!

✿ oh these three LOVE summer break. screw the actual weather, but summer, to them, comes with the absolute certainty that everyone will be mostly free - which only means more fun.

✿ every summer, everyone goes to eren's pool house to hang. are these guys sick of eachother after spending the entire semester together? only a little. but, again, theres certainty that it's going to be fun

✿ Sasha indulges in iced beverages. everyday, she tries making a new drink for you to try - coffee, iced chai, some mix of hawaiian punch and cherry Kool-aid. she busts out her old, dusty cooler that has been rotting in the corner of her already-tiny closet and plugs it into the drawing room while you both sip on your drinks while doing eachother's nails. she has a tradition of filling out any and all quizzes she can find (from the ones in magazines to the uquizes online (yes, the bdsm one too. not fr but for funsies)) and makes you do it too to compare your answers and come up with new ones that she think will fit the two of you better <3 love this gal

✿ she cant stand being in the kitchen though, so you have to take up most of the cooking tasks. thats fine, though, because she compensates by doing the dishes with her summer playlist blasting on the highest volume her knockoff jbl speakers can offer.

✿ connie surprises you guys (and himself) with ice cream every night. he brings it over to your guys' apartment with sunglasses on even though the sun has gone down. his usual beanie is replaced with a hat that he makes sure to wear backwards.

✿ you guys go to the beach because he'd been INSISTING. he almmost drowns jean by sneaking up on him and jump-scaring him into submission despite their height-difference. you guys run into armin mikasa and eren completely unplanned. youre the most annoying people on the beach and theres a cooler full of everyone's favourite drinks near your blanket.

✿ if youre more into being in the water instead of chilling on the sand, beware of connie splashing you every two seconds. him and eren team up with their fucking waterguns and enter an unsaid competition on who can target random strangers the most without being yelled at.

✿ at one point, sasha, you, and jean join in with them, competing with eachother. connie loses because a kid cried because he sprayed them square in the face </3 he sulks on the sand and ends up "sunbathing" (he just passed out and now has a blistering sunburn on his back. will not stop complaining about it.)

✿ jean carries a tote bag. what with? you're unsure since you and sash brough all the food and drinks, so really, there shouldnt be much he has to carry except for his wallet and car keys. but he insists on holding onto it. gets a tanline from it, even. he applies and reapplies his sunscreen SO MUCH. like he has a timer on his phone for reapplying it.

✿ he also insists on playing HIS music instead of connie's. also insists on bringing his own (very real) JBL speakers. which you and sasha allow because for all you know, the knockoffs arent waterproof even after claiming to be </3

✿ Jean would also tie his hair up with a hair tie he borrowed from you (which you stole from sasha, btw. its making it's rounds in the friendgroup lowkey). his hair isnt even that long, only enough to fit into a low ponytail, but you allow it because it's attractive.

✿ also wears sunglasses. but ONLY calls them shades. dont ask. (yes he gets a tanline from these also.)

✿ he's such a Boyfriend. he passes you a waterbottle with a straw to sip from every once in a while. if you need to adjust your top, he stands infront of you so no-one else can see. he also flops you into the sea a bunch of times. so theres also that. but then he makes up for it by collecting some shells for you :3

✿ later in the day, you guys eat some sandwiches that you had prepped the night before, and mikasa tells you about her new job and armin and connie are having a conversation about marine biology (armin's major), and its mostly armin talking with connie vigourously nodding. later on you ask him what armin was talking about and he tells you he has no idea but he wanted to be supportive.

✿ so many popsicles are eaten. eren gets brainfreeze multiple times and jean laughs at him but also gets brainfreeze. at the same time. you call them soulmates and they both almost kill each other. it's chill though <3

✿ sasha and connie are dead asleep on the drive back home. stevie wonders greatest hits play on the speakers of the car and you and jean carry a long, soft conversation throughout it all. when you reach back home, mikasa sends you candid pictures she took of the two of you (you make them your lockcreen). jean has to carry connie bridal style but flops him very agressively on the couch when you point it out.

✿ anyway! throughout the summer, jean also takes you to multiple cliche summer dates. picnics, carnivals, festivals, late night drive-in movie places. all of the above and more. he's a romantic at heart, so he upholds that title with secrecy but great pride :3

this lowkey turned into just a beach day hc but hey! its summer! (its raining here 24/7) requests are open!

[ever-4sunlight]

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦Headcannon꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

✮Relationship with the genshin hybrids

✮Pairing: gorou, itto, tighnari, yae miko x gn reader

✮Warnings: bad English || pronouns used: none

✮Requests are open<3

𝑮𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖

-Relationships with gorou are kinda complicated he is used taking the role of the serious commander so it's hard for him to actually be himself for you

-He will most definitely act all tough and serious around you so you think he's cool!

-If you two are alone he will cuddle up to you and let you scratch behind his ears with his tail wagging like crazy!

-He's not really into telling everyone about your relationship no one has to know... Not even kokomi

-He would most definitely bite you but not to hard! He still possesses some of his animalistic traits so why wouldn't he let them out on you?

-He's the sweetest lover in the world! He is clingy and will do anything for you! But not when he's around people he knows of course he still has to act serious sometimes

-very silly boy that's for sure but probably already made up the future for the two of you<3 how about kids? Maybe just marrying? Either way he will be happy!

𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

-oh oh oh... You got yourself the greatest oni of all time good luck...

-his and my birthday aren't much apart so i just KNOW he is clingy he definitely is! Every second he gets to he will hold you or have his hands on any place you allow him to

-hes very protective and will glare at everyone who looks at you

-the first person who knows your in a relationship is shinobu... She even knew it before you did. _.

-He's very happy to be with you and will show it in every way he can

-if your comfortable with it he will put you on his shoulders so you can see the world from your lovers shoulders

-when you two are home he will grab you and cuddle with you hours for fucking hours!

-he is very talkative and needs someone who listens to him better if even speaks as much as him!

-will grin at you when you trace the red paint on his body patting your head how adorable you look while doing that

-overall a great boyfriend he would do anything for you

Tighnari

-wow! Congrats you got yourself the fennec fox to fall head over heel for you beware of his endless talking of knowledge

-he's very smart and rant about botanic and everything that happened on duty until your ears start to bleed

-he's a loving partner and will take care of you whenever you feel sick or just bad, just don't eat things you shouldn't eat or he will get annoyed

-will he bite? Not often but you will get a few nibbles here and there when he's bored

-you're one of the very few people he will allow to touch his ears and tail he will get very embarrassed so don't do it in public

-he will definitely help you with everything you have problems with hes very supportive

-he can't stand liers, don't lie to him and you will be fine

-he will definitely not tell cyno! He just knows cyno will make unfunny jokes about it

Yae miko

-you got the the pretty shrine maiden to fall in love with you congrats you got the most teasing kitsune to ever exist!

-she will tease you 24/7 if it's just sliding her hand over your spine to get an reaction or just getting close enough to your face to kiss you just to pull away, yae got every possible trick up her sleeve

-whenever you say something she thinks is something you should shut up about or just something that doesn't make sense she will pat on your head with her book

-she doesn't sleep much but loves to have your head on her lap while her hands are intertwined with your hair (if you got hair)

-she doesn't tell any of the maidens but the way she acts with you gets a bunch of attention and pulls suspicion with it

-she will hum you to sleep and hold you for your comfort

-don't expect her to do what you want she's definitely not the submissive one in this relationship

-she's the best girlfriend someone can have>o<

[notjustjavierpena]

50 NSFW-QUESTIONS FOR HUBBY!

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

Some time ago, I asked @rivnedell if I could use her 50 questions for everyone's favorite husband Javier. She was so sweet and encouraging, so I got right to them.

These are (funnily enough) +18, so beware and MDNI.

1. Biggest Turn-On?

When you show how much you want him because of how much you love him. He goes crazy when you take initiative to sex, play a little dirty and touch him up when it’s inappropriate because you just cannot help yourself. It’s nice to see that he isn’t the only one who is crazy about the other. 

2. Biggest Turn-off?

He doesn’t like for you to play stupid, girly or young. He is most turned on by your confidence, maturity and the fact that you’re a strong woman who gave birth to his children. Sure, he likes the occasional daddy/papí but only if you’re mommy/mamí.

3. Quickest way to get horny?

Whisper in his ear what you want to do to him or what you want him to do to you. He’ll walk around half-hard the rest of the day and then absolutely ravish you when he gets the chance. 

4. Top 3 places to be touched?

Face, neck and chest. He loves your gentle hands caressing him slowly until he is completely under your spell. He’ll never get enough attention, able to both get hot for you or fall soundly asleep. 

5. Does he like the idea of a threesome or a moresome?

Javier probably has had a threesome in his life but he likes giving all his attention to a single partner. After meeting you, he would never dream of needing a third party in the bedroom. 

6. Sex or Masturbation?

Sex. Javier likes the connection he has with another person. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like masturbating and letting his mind drift to what he’d like to do to you. 

7. Spit or Swallow?

He won’t lie. Swallow. Unless, of course, you make a show to drool with it, letting it drip down your chin. 

8. Rough or Romantic sex?

Why can’t rough sex be romantic? He’ll tell you he loves you while you’re arching your back and saying fucked-out nonsense because of how deeply he reaches inside of you. 

9. Loud or quiet partners?

Loud, holy shit. He wants to hear how good he is making you feel, wants to make you scream until there are noise complaints. 

10. How much foreplay?

He likes to wring out a few orgasms from you before you get down to business but with a house full of kids, he’ll take what he can get in the moments you have to yourselves. If you are alone, he loves getting you hot and bothered so you’re dripping wet and begging when he slides into your heat. 

11. How much teasing does he like?

Javier doesn’t like to tease you, is usually too impatient to do it, but he relishes in getting teased by you. Stolen glances, dirty whispers, bending over to show off what he cannot have yet. He’ll feel lightheaded, worked up like a dog who isn’t allowed his treat yet. 

12. Hook ups or only partners?

Hook ups are a thing of the past. Now it’s only you. 

13. How much kissing during sex?

If he can reach your mouth, he’ll kiss you breathless. Otherwise, he’ll have his mouth on your skin as much as possible. It’s his way of cherishing you, letting you know he just can’t get enough of every square inch of you.

14. Favorite place to have sex?

Javier actually really likes having sex in the kitchen or the bathroom because he can flip you around and shove you down onto the counters. However, some of the best sex he has had has been in a bed even if it’s less adventurous. 

15. Would he have sex in public?

To some extent. He likes the idea of getting caught but he wouldn’t actually have sex with you if there were others around. On an abandoned street, in a field, in a locked public bathroom is very much something but it would take something special to make him lose it where people could actually see. Like that one time in the taxi, remember?

16. Last place he had sex?

In your bedroom, doors locked and all the kids in their beds like usual. One hand over your mouth to keep you from waking up everyone and your brows furrowed as he slowly drove his cock in and out of you. 

17. Where would he most like to have sex?

On a child-free holiday. Non-stop and all over the hotel room.

18. Spontaneous sex or does he need to be in the mood?

There is not lots of spontaneous sex when you have kids but he tries to find moments during every day chores where he can take care of you quickly. He is never not in the mood for you; one wink and he’s ready to go. 

19. Would he go for a hookup at a stranger's house?

Sure. He’s done it a million times when he was young and single. 

20. Biggest kink?

Javier saw you and instantly, his breeding kink came out of its hiding. He won’t accept coming anywhere else but in the warmth of your ripe cunt. That and calling you any version of mom, e.g. pretty mamá, mommy, mamacita? He is done for. You’re the mother of his children and that is so fucking hot. Can we make one more, mamá? We can handle another baby… Please let me come inside.

21. Is he ok with name-calling?

No. He doesn’t like calling you vulgar things. 

22. Would he do BDSM?

He’d try something more extreme if you like but the harshest thing he’s done to you is give your throat a squeeze or two. 

23. Would he prefer to tie you up or be tied up?

There’s something in both things that he likes but being the one getting teased by you is his favorite. If he had to tie you up, it would be to keep your legs spread open for him so you can’t get away. 

24. Does he like orgasm denial?

He doesn’t use it as punishment or even just to be mean. Instead, he uses it to make you absolutely shatter when he finally lets you have it and you know this, know that he’d never leave you unsatisfied because you get a little cuckoo if you don’t orgasm. This goes both ways. 

25. Does he like overstimulation?

He doesn’t like it much on himself but if he has a chance to see you twitching and crying from being touched too much, he’ll take it. He knows how much you like it too. 

26. Does he like pain being involved?

He likes when you grab him, squeeze him, smack him, bite him but no more than that. He does, however, love spanking you. 

27. Does he like dirty talk?

Fuck yeah, the man has got a mouth on him. He likes whispering things in your ear or talking as he hovers above you, telling you how good you feel around his cock and how gorgeous you are as you moan and groan, right up until he lets you know you’re about to make him come.

28. Does he own sex toys? How many?

Javier owns a cockring but not much else. Do handcuffs count? 

29. What does he masturbate to?

Whatever floats around in his brain. Sometimes it’s just to release some tension and he’ll think of nothing. Other times, it’s because you have done something to get him worked up and he’ll imagine you with your hands or mouth wrapped around his cock. He will admit that he’s thought about stupid porn scenarios too. 

30. Multiple rounds or will he settle for one orgasm?

If you have time, he’ll send the kids off to his Pop’s and fuck you six ways till Sunday. Once is never enough and he’ll stock up on electrolyte-drinks and pre-workout protein bars to go all night and day.

31. Does he enjoy giving oral?

He could spend hours between your legs if he had the time. It’s his favorite way to get you soaked and ready for him. God, when your thighs twitch and your voice cracks as you gush all over his face, he knows heaven is a place on Earth.

32. Does he prefer giving or receiving oral?

He has no preference.

33. What makes him orgasm the fastest?

You begging for another baby whilst crying from your own orgasm. He can never hold back when he knows that you want him to finish, especially inside. 

34. Does he like/do anal/pegging?

Pegging? No. Anal? He’s allowed on special occasions.

35. Favorite position?

Anything where he gets to be close to you, his nose in your neck and feeling your groans vibrate underneath his lips as he molds you with his cock. Some intense missionary has him seeing stars but fuck, he loves lying down right behind you to cage you in the one arm that stretches across your tits.

36. Does he use protection?

Yes. In his youth, he did have condoms lying around. However, he used to have a lot of unprotected sex back in Colombia which he has been scolded for by you but he was often drunk, sad, angry or scatterbrained by the strain that was on him. Does he use protection with you? No, not really anymore. He’ll probably set money aside for a vasectomy when you’ve had the twins. 

37. Does he masturbate with clothes on?

Clothes or no clothes is not really a big deal for him. However, he mostly jerks off in the shower, so without? 

38. How does he prefer your hair/grooming?

However you want. 

39. What does he wear to bed?

Just his boxers. He’d like to wear nothing but it doesn’t work with kids jumping into bed on a Saturday morning. 

40. What does he like you to wear?

Javier doesn’t like to dictate but if he had to choose, he’d like you to wear something that accentuates your waist and ass. It makes him want to grab onto your hips. You in a sundress and he’ll bend you over the nearest surface to put a baby in you. In terms of wearing something to bed, he’ll go insane if he sees you in those cute little sleep shorts or panties and one of his own t-shirts. 

41. Does he like his balls played with?

Yes! You better have a hand cupping them as you suck him off. 

42. What is his sexuality?

Javier considers himself straight but there have been a few instances of too much alcohol, an eager guy and a messy hookup in his car. 

43. Does he have any extreme or unusual kinks?

I would not say anything extreme or unusual, no, but Javier does have an intense lactation kink and it makes him come so fast to see you drip with milk. Go on, let him have a sip. 

44. How often does he masturbate?

He’s okay with once in the shower. Just to take off some pressure in the morning.  

45. Favorite toy?

Javier cannot remember the last thing that impressed him as much as using the rose toy on you. 

46. Does he like roleplay?

To some extent but mostly, he just loves getting down and dirty with his wife.

47. Any fetishes?

Like I said: GIVE THAT MAN A GODDAMN SIP!!

48. Aftercare?

Obviously! He’ll get the warm flannel or carry you to the bathroom, kiss you for a long time and caress your used body. You okay, baby? Wasn’t too hard on you? 

49. Does he ever go commando?

Very rarely. It happened more often in his youth.

50. Phone sex?

He’s not going to say no to that but he isn’t much of a texter, so it better be a call so he can hear your tiny cries for him. 

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If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[dazaih]

wingman - luke skywalker x reader

you can find previous chapters here

chapter nine -> the sleepover

your university roommate han solo finds a rival (and love interest) in student council president leia skywalker, but both of them are too stubborn to admit that they have feelings for each other. luckily, you and her twin brother, luke, devise a plan to get the two of them to spend more time together. challenges arise, however, when you start to develop a crush on him.

chapter warnings: nightmares, light angst, sexual humor

a/n: HERE’S CHAPTER 9!!!!! so sorry for the delay and tysm for being patient with me as i recover from my injury <3

You woke with a start, a firm weight pressing into your chest stirring momentary panic within you. You let out a sigh of relief when you realized that the culprit was Luke, cuddled up next to you. Blinking a few times, you glanced at your phone to check the time. It was 1:30 in the morning, which meant that you and Luke had been asleep for over an hour. You also noticed that Chewie had texted you thirty minutes ago.

Chewie: high asf leia brought some strong shit. going 2 bed

Chewie: they’re in the living room i don’t think they’ll start fucking but beware if u go in there

Chewie: luke was talking about u the whole way home btw

You blushed and tossed your phone to the end of your bed, almost hitting Luke’s foot in the process. You gently moved him off of you, and he only stirred slightly, still mostly asleep. He must have been tired, you noted, and you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead as you got out of bed.

You made your way into the kitchen then, and you saw Han and Leia sitting on the couch. They were eating some of the pizza from earlier, and you realized then that Luke hadn’t had any of it even though he was so hungry. No wonder he was tired; he was probably eating sleep for dinner. You heard a scream emit from the television, and you could only guess that they were watching some sort of horror movie. You tried not to react outwardly when you saw how close they were sitting, legs pressed together while Han very casually had his arm resting on the back of the couch, inches away from being wrapped around her.

You took a slice of pizza and popped it into the microwave, gaining their attention in the process.

“Hey,” Han greeted you, voice a little raspy from both the hour of the night and the copious amounts of weed he’d smoked, “You feelin’ better?”

You were confused for a moment, but recalled that Luke had lied and told them that your head was hurting earlier as an explanation for your absence.

“Yeah, just tired,” you said, grabbing a soda from the fridge, “Chewie said you guys smoked him out.”

“Chewie was already on an edible by the time we started smoking,” he snorted, rolling his eyes, “You should know better than to think that anyone could out-smoke him.”

You laughed tiredly, nodding.

“That makes more sense,” you agreed, smiling, “What’re you guys watching?”

“The Conjuring,” Leia replied before Han could stop her, and you heard him sigh.

“That movie sucks,” you said, “The second one is way better—“

“I’m too high to hear one of your movie spiels,” he warned, glaring at you. You laughed and took a bite of your pizza, shrugging.

“Where’s Luke?” Leia asked.

“He’s asleep,” you murmured, hoping not to get any further questions about where he was sleeping and what you all had been up to.

“He is?”

She sounded surprised, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night, and you gave her a curious look.

“Should I wake him up?”

“No!” she said quickly before regaining her composure, “Sorry, no. You can let him sleep. Assuming that’s okay with you.”

“I don’t mind. He doesn’t snore.”

She relaxed a little, and you wanted to press her further but decided against it.

“Are you guys staying the night?” Han asked suddenly.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” she replied, seemingly torn between her options, “But Luke—never mind, sorry. We can have our driver pick us up whenever you guys want us out of your hair.”

“You can stay,” Han assured her, being uncharacteristically kind, “You can take my bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch. It’s late.”

She seemed caught off guard by the offer, but gave him a small smile in return.

“I’m not gonna take your bed, but I wouldn’t mind spending the night. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Your royal servants will execute me at dawn if they find out that I made their princess sleep on a shitty couch. I can’t risk my health like that. My luck’s running out as it is.”

She giggled, and the interaction was so strangely pleasant that you felt like you were intruding on something. For that reason, you promptly bid them goodnight and scurried away. You left some clean pajamas in the bathroom for Leia and returned to your room, surprised to see Luke tiredly looking up at you through lidded eyes.

“Hey,” he said quietly, voice raspy, “Do I need to leave?”

“No,” you assured him, sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing his bangs out of his face, “You guys are spending the night.”

“Oh,” he replied, seemingly a little confused, “Am I allowed to sleep here? I can take the couch—“

“I just sucked your dick. I don’t mind if you sleep in my bed.”

He blushed a little, still out of it, and nodded shyly.

“I should tell you something,” he began nervously, now avoiding your gaze. You were suddenly concerned, and you tried to provide him with some comfort by continuing to stroke his hair.

“You can tell me anything,” you said softly, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” he sighed, looking down, “I, um, have parasomnia. Like, the nightmare kind. And it’s bad, I guess? I’m not gonna like, hurt you in my sleep or anything. But I’m not a very fun person to spend the night with.”

You stared at him for a moment, the revelation making your heart ache. Luke, who was always so energetic and positive, wasn’t afforded any solace in his sleep. It struck you as cruel, but perhaps your feelings for him were amplifying that. Being overly emotional in your reaction wouldn’t do him any favors, and so you pushed the urge to cradle him in your arms aside.

“That’s okay,” you told him, caressing his cheek, “Is there anything I can do? Anything that usually helps you?”

He didn’t reply at first, looking at you with his mouth slightly agape. You wondered if that was the wrong thing to say, but he placated you soon after your worries arose, shaking his head.

“No,” he said, though his voice was distant, “It’s not your responsibility. I just wanted you to be aware. In case it changes your willingness to share a bed with me.”

“Why would it change anything?”

“Because it’s weird? I dunno.”

“Luke,” you sighed, feeling that familiar pang in your heart that only he seemed to be able to evoke from you, “If someone tells you that you’re weird for something that’s out of your control, then they suck, and that says more about them than it does about you. I’m not gonna judge you for shit like that, alright?”

He looked at you in quiet disbelief, finally nodding and letting out a relieved sigh.

“Thank you,” he said, meeting your eyes, “And the cuddling is still okay?”

“Of course,” you told him, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “Do you wanna go back to sleep?”

He nodded and pulled the covers up, inviting you to join him. When you did, he immediately pulled you into his chest again, securing his arms tightly around you.

“Goodnight,” he whispered, finally closing his eyes.

You were asleep again within minutes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The nightmares did, in fact, come. A strangled yelp had woken you up, and you sat up with a start, your eyes adjusting to see Luke with his hand covering his mouth, his chest rising in time with his rapid breathing. His eyes flicked over to you, and only then did you notice that he was crying. The realization filled you with despair, and you instantly committed yourself to bringing him back to a state of calm.

“Hey,” you began softly, “Are you—“

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, covering his mouth again in an effort to suppress the sob that threatened to escape his lips, “Can I use your restroom?”

“Of course,” you said, and he stood quickly. You tried to follow him, but he shook his head.

“I just need a second. I’m sorry.”

With that, he left the room.

You sat with baited breath, awaiting his return and longing to comfort him in some way. Hundreds of questions flooded your head, but you suppressed them in an effort to remain collected when he came back. One was at the forefront of your mind, though: What had he been dreaming about?

After about fifteen minutes, you saw the doorknob twist, and he finally reentered the room. You had turned on your bedside lamp since his departure, and you could now fully see his disheveled state. His hair was ruffled and his eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tears. He looked pitiful, sad, and you felt so bad for him that it was overwhelming.

“Sorry,” he said, voice strained. He must’ve been crying in your bathroom.

“Don’t be sorry,” you told him, patting the mattress, “I’ll hold you if you want, okay?”

He stared at you for a second, as if he didn’t quite understand your offer. He blinked, and then slowly walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it and staring down at his hands. His body was tilted towards you, but he wasn’t lying down, so you sat up and touched his shoulder. He jumped a little, but didn’t brush you off.

“I can leave,” he said then, not meeting your eyes, “My driver will be able to get me, so it’s not any trouble. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” you said, gently rubbing his back. He finally looked at you then, his expression difficult to decipher.

“It might happen again.”

“That’s fine,” you replied, “I’m sorry that this is happening to you, but I’d still really like you to stay. If you’re comfortable with that, that is.”

He sighed, sounding defeated, and relaxed into your touch. He let you guide him back underneath the covers, the two of you lying down again. His eyes were closed now, a single tear rolling down his cheek, and you gently wiped it with your thumb.

“Do you wanna talk about it at all?” you asked softly.

“It’s not your responsibility,” he said, voice cracking a bit in a way that made your heart ache.

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” you replied, tucking his hair behind his ear, “I care about you. When you’re upset, I want to be there for you.”

“It’s not your responsibility,” he repeated, sniffling. Seeing Luke quiet and sad felt wrong, and you wished you could make him feel better.

“Stop saying that,” you murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, “You’re not feeling well. It’s okay to accept help from other people.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with it,” he replied, his voice shaky, “I shouldn’t have made you deal with it. I’m sorry.”

“Can I hold you?” you asked. He opened his eyes and stared at you, seemingly confused.

“What?”

“If you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s fine. But I know that you like physical affection, and I like that too, so if it would help, then I’d really love to hold you.”

He blinked, studying you intently, as if he were looking for something hidden beneath your features.

“I ruined your night.”

“What? You didn’t ruin my night. What are you talking about?”

“I woke you up,” he argued, “Because I was crying. And now I’m being weird, and you should be annoyed with me for acting stupid, and—“

“Stop,” you interjected, cupping his cheek, “It’s not your fault that you had a nightmare, Luke. You’re not being very fair to yourself.”

He looked at you with something akin to desperation, like he was begging you to agree that he had done something wrong. You wouldn’t budge, of course, so you just made a show of outstretching your arms, giving him a small smile as you did. He finally relented, allowing you to pull him into a tight embrace. He instinctively buried his face in the crook of your neck, and you gently petted his hair.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed since you’d taken him into your arms. Every now and then, you could feel him quietly cry, his tears dampening the collar of your shirt.

After a while, his breathing had evened out, and the shaking of his shoulders had subsided. You briefly wondered if he was asleep, but your theory was disproved when he finally spoke again.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice barely above a whisper, “I should’ve had the foresight to stop that from happening. That was irresponsible of me.”

“Stop,” you ordered softly, tucking a blond curl behind his ear, “Being there for you isn’t a chore. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

He sat up and stared at you, his eyes tired, and he gave you a defeated smile.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, “And nothing you can say will make me feel any less guilty about having a meltdown in your room after you’ve been nothing but perfect to me.”

“Is that a challenge?”

He laughed, and you hadn’t realized how much you treasured that sound until now.

“You’re funny,” he told you, and he suddenly pulled you into a hug, “And sweet. And doing way too much for someone you’re just pretending to date.”

You laughed to mask the sting that you felt at the fact that none of this was real, and you prayed that he didn’t feel your heart shatter as he held you.

“You’d do the same for me,” you decided to say.

“That’s different,” he replied, readjusting so that you were both lying down again.

“How is that different?” you pressed, looking into his eyes. He smiled at you in a way that almost looked sad, but you chalked it up to him being exhausted from his nightmare.

“Just is,” he said, kissing your cheek before cuddling up to you again, resting a hand on the back of your head as he pulled you closer, “I’ve kept you up for too long. You should sleep.”

“You should sleep,” you argued, but you let him cradle you regardless.

“I’m not gonna risk waking you up again, but I’ll rest,” he bargained.

“I don’t give a fuck,” you mumbled into his neck, “It doesn’t bother me. I promise. What does bother me is you trying to punish yourself for it by staying awake.”

“I don’t do that,” he protested, but the smallness of his voice told you that he was lying. You recalled when you stayed the night at his apartment and he looked as if he hadn’t slept the entire time, and sudden realization washed over you.

“You didn’t sleep when I spent the night at your place. I know you didn’t.”

You felt him sigh, and in a quiet, defeated tone, he whispered, “I didn’t want you to hear.”

“I wouldn’t have judged you.”

“I know. It’s not about that,” he said, holding you a little tighter, “But thanks for saying that. I really appreciate you.”

You blushed and hid your face further in his neck.

“Flattery,” you mumbled simply, a wave of exhaustion crashing over you.

“I mean it. You’ve been a better friend to me in just this semester than people I’ve known for years. Thank you.”

Friend. The word caused bile to rise in your throat, but you suppressed your displeasure, instead letting sleep take you.

“Goodnight,” he whispered, hand in your hair. You thought you heard him say something else, but you weren’t quite sure, as you were quickly fading into unconsciousness.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You woke up to Luke still by your side, lazily playing with your hair as he scrolled on his phone, the morning sunlight illuminating his features. His face was still a little puffy from crying, but he seemed much more like himself, and you felt happy to see him so relaxed.

“Morning,” he said softly once he noticed that you were staring, “It’s eight.”

“Morning. Did you sleep?”

“Yes, actually,” he replied, smiling sweetly at you, “I’m sorry again. About last night.”

“Don’t be sorry. I meant everything I said.”

He nodded, blushing a little, streaks of light seeping through the blinds and creating a soft halo around his hair. He looked angelic.

“I got up for some water at like five, and the couch was empty, so.”

You sat up, unable to contain your excitement, and grinned widely at him.

“Oh my god,” you cheered quietly, rubbing your eyes, “Han was saying he’d take the couch, but Leia was saying that she didn’t want to uproot him from his own bed, and I bet they totally just agreed to share the bed, and—This is perfect. We’re such great wingmen.”

“The best in the game,” he agreed, “How are you feeling?”

“Good, not hungover. A little sleepy, but not more than usual, I guess. You?”

“I feel like I got the best head of my life last night,” he teased, and you gently elbowed him in the side, “Seriously, though. I’m doing okay. Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry again about all of that.”

You heard his stomach growl, as if on cue, and you giggled at him.

“You didn’t eat any pizza,” you recalled, frowning.

“It’s fine. I’ll eat when I get home.”

“Or we can go get something now,” you offered, suddenly nervous that he’d reject you.

“I don’t have any clean clothes, and I haven’t brushed my teeth. I probably look like shit.”

“I have a shirt that’ll fit you, at least. And we probably have a spare toothbrush somewhere from Han’s whore days.”

“Han was a whore?” he asked, sounding amused.

“I probably shouldn’t call him that, but yeah. He used to bring people home a lot.“

“To the extent that he kept spare toothbrushes around?”

“Just the cheap kind,” you added, as if that contributed to your defense of him.

“I, of all people, am in no place to judge. I’m just teasing,” he assured you, and you relaxed a little, “I don’t care who Han fucks, as long as he’s not doing it while trying to be exclusive with my sister.”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“I didn’t think so. So, if you have a toothbrush for me and you’re alright with me wearing one of your shirts, I’ll take you up on that breakfast journey.”

You pretended not to be as excited as you actually were, happy to spend time alone with Luke for even longer. You weren’t sure how you’d gotten so lucky. You quickly got dressed, threw Luke one of your oversized sweatshirts, and scurried away to find an unopened toothbrush. Victorious, you returned to your room to see him wearing your shirt, the image momentarily stopping you in your tracks.

“Success?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you like he knew exactly what you were thinking.

You tossed him the toothbrush and he smiled, winking at you before exiting the room and disappearing into your bathroom. He returned a few minutes later, hair much less tousled and looking pretty good to have not had access to any of his own clothes or hygiene products.

“You did quite a number on me,” he said, and you had no idea what he meant until you actually took a good look at him.

His neck was covered in hickeys.

“I’m so sorry,” you squeaked, cheeks ablaze as you covered your mouth in both embarrassment and shock, “Holy shit. I didn’t think—“

“Don’t be sorry. I asked you to.”

“You begged me to,” you corrected, though you still felt a little scandalous.

“I’m not ashamed,” he replied with a shrug, grinning at you, “You’ll have to let me return the favor soon.”

You couldn’t stop blushing this morning. You nodded, trying not to let the implication that he wanted to continue being intimate with you make you collapse completely.

With that, the two of you headed out, leaving Han and Chewie with a text message to inform them of your whereabouts. Luke insisted that he knew of a good bakery nearby, and you followed him into the city. At some point, he’d taken your hand in his own, lacing your fingers together as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Up until you reached the more densely populated area of downtown, you had completely forgotten that Luke was Luke Skywalker. When you felt several pairs of eyes on you, though, you recalled that the guy you’d been playing pretend with was actually the son of a highly prolific politician and Hollywood’s new favorite actor. Nobody stopped you on account of Luke himself not being much of a celebrity, but people certainly recognized him. He squeezed your hand a little tighter when he realized that you’d noticed the staring, his attentiveness making you swoon. He was too sweet.

When you arrived at the bakery, he let go of you only to hold the door, placing a hand on the small of your back as soon as you got inside.

“If you like cinnamon rolls, this is the place to get them. They also have pretty good scones, but the cinnamon rolls are way more filling. They’re like, huge.”

You nodded, listening to him ramble on about the menu.

“I trust your judgment when it comes to food,” you told him, and he beamed at you.

That, apparently, had translated to him as permission to order for you and pay for your food, and he added on a few things for Han, Leia, and Chewie as well. Luke led you to a table by the window, a cute vase of flowers in the center. This felt like a date.

“Is it okay if you and I eat here? We don’t have to stay for long. Just thought it’d be nice,” he asked, sounding nervous.

You nodded, and your food was served to you pretty soon after, the server handing the to-go orders to you in a bag. Luke placed the bag by his feet and took a bite of his cinnamon roll, moaning as he always did.

“You just do that to piss me off now,” you remarked, tasting your own food. He may have been justified this time, because the cinnamon roll was delightful in ways that exceeded your expectations.

“Mostly, yeah,” he admitted, smiling at you.

You ate your breakfast together and chatted, mostly about general small talk topics that you had just never gotten around to learning about each other.

“I don’t even know your major,” you realized, eyes widening.

“I don’t like talking about myself that much when I first meet people. It’s not your fault,” he said sheepishly, blushing.

“Why is that? If I could be as interesting as you are, I’d probably talk about myself all the time.”

He laughed and shook his head.

“I think people usually have a lot of ulterior motives when they try to get to know me, I guess. It’s just a habit now.”

You frowned and pointed your fork at him as you chewed, hoping he’d get your meaning.

“My major?” he asked, and smiled when you nodded, “Guess.”

“Business.”

“Seriously?”

“I dunno. Figured you might do something easy since you’re an athlete and all.”

“Do you think I’d survive in the business world?”

“No,” you decided, shaking your head, “You’re too nice. Okay, um, philosophy.”

He nodded excitedly at that.

“You know me so well,” he teased.

“I took an intro to philosophy class a few semesters ago,” you mused, trying to recall the specifics of the course.

“I know,” he told you, “I took it at the same time as you did.”

You stared at him for a second, his admission not quite computing, because you had never noticed him in that class. You supposed, however, that it was your first year at this school, and you didn’t really know what Luke looked like at that point or why he was such a big deal. It was a rather large lecture as well, definitely over a hundred people. Still, you struggled to wrap your head around the idea that you wouldn’t have noticed him at all, and even more so that he noticed you. He had to have been lying.

“How would you know that?” you asked skeptically, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I remember you. You always sat in the second row, and you participated even though it was a big class. Teacher’s pet,” he quipped, grinning at you.

All of that was true, but you still struggled to believe him even for a second. Why would he have noticed you?

“I’m good with faces,” he added, as if reading your mind, “Especially pretty ones.”

“I don’t believe you. Why did you take intro to philosophy your second year if you planned on majoring in it?”

“I didn’t. I added it as a second major.”

“You’re a double major?”

“Yep. Now guess the other one.”

“Give me a hint.”

“Science.”

“Really?” you asked, unable to mask your surprise, “I was about to guess theater.”

“Because of my dad?”

“Because you’re dramatic.”

“I’m messing with you. I did theater in high school, actually, but then my dad got way more famous than he already was and I got scared of just being given parts that I didn’t deserve.”

“How noble of you. Okay, environmental science?”

“Not a bad guess, but no.”

“Can you just tell me?” you pleaded, growing frustrated with this game. He giggled and finally relented.

“Astronomy,” he said, smiling, “I’m double majoring in philosophy and astronomy.”

It shouldn’t have been as endearing as it was. The image of Luke curiously staring through a telescope and noting the night sky brought you a strange amount of warmth. Everything you learned about him just made you like him even more, and you were overcome by the urge to know him much more deeply than you did.

“That’s really cool,” you confessed, trying not to make your admiration for him obvious, “So I guess you read a lot?”

He nodded, and for the next thirty minutes you listened to him ramble about different books and philosophies that he’d read about. Finally getting him to talk about himself was such a treat that you never wanted breakfast to end, but as time ticked on, you realized that you’d have to get back to the house at a reasonable hour to give the others their breakfast. Luke had a similar realization, and the two of you began the trek home soon after.

“That was nice,” you told him, “You should tell me about the stuff you like more often. You’re really good at explaining stuff.”

He blushed and nodded, promising that he’d try to do better with that in the future. He then asked you more about what you were studying and what your ambitions were, and listened to you talk in detail about your major. He asked a lot of questions too, and having someone seem so genuinely interested in things you cared about made you feel light.

You finally made it to your house, but upon unlocking the door realized that everyone was still asleep.

“Damn,” he said, hands on his hips, “Guess we have to entertain ourselves for a little longer.”

You nodded as he put the takeout on the counter, trying to think of what else you could do in the meantime.

“You could show me a movie you like,” he suggested, “Maybe something that’s not too scary, though.”

You giggled at him and put on Fantastic Mr. Fox since it was both wholesome and on the shorter side. You cuddled on the couch together and made it through about an hour of the film when you heard Han’s bedroom door swing open, Leia emerging in a shirt that belonged to him and nearly swallowed her whole. He appeared a few seconds later, not bothering to tell you good morning as he made a beeline for the cinnamon rolls.

“What’re you guys watching?” Leia asked, sitting on the arm of the couch, licking her thumb, and wiping something from Luke’s face.

“What the hell?” he exclaimed, trying to push her away from him, “Don’t touch me with your spit. That’s repulsive.”

“You had icing on your cheek,” she said simply, looking amused.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Luke pouted in distress, turning to you.

“I didn’t notice,” you replied honestly.

“Did you guys pick these up this morning?” Han asked with his mouth full.

“Yeah, cinnamon rolls from the bakery downtown. They’re good.”

“Thanks, kid,” he said, before adding, “Did you get attacked on the way there?”

You didn’t understand what he meant at first, but when Leia covered her mouth in an effort to stifle her laughter, you knew it had to be about the two of you.

“Are you hurt?” you asked him naively.

Leia was snickering now. Luke glared at her before turning to give you a sweet smile, shaking his head.

“I’m not hurt. They’re trying to make fun of me.”

“I’m genuinely concerned for your health. Someone was trying to eat you alive,” Han remarked, taking another bite of his food.

Oh. Oh. Your face immediately flushed, and you suddenly felt trapped. Leia pulled down the collar of Luke’s borrowed sweatshirt to look at more deep bruises resting right above his collarbone, and you really wanted this conversation to be over soon.

“I didn’t notice these on the way here,” she noted, tugging his shirt a little more and wincing when she found additional hickeys.

“You were too busy talking to him,” Luke replied, reminding his sister that she was in no position to show skepticism about his romantic life, “And they’re a lot darker this morning than they were then.”

“No kidding,” she murmured, still examining his neck.

“Can you quit?” he snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. I just haven’t seen you with hickeys in forever. Thought your coach didn’t like it when you showed up with those.”

That was new information. Given his insistence last night, you had just assumed that he frequently indulged in this. Why had he begged you to leave marks if he was going to get shit for it later?

“What’s he gonna do? Not put me in the game?”

“He might threaten that, yes.”

“He won’t. They’d be fucked without me.”

“You’re so humble,” she snorted sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not trying to be a dick, but we’ll be going to the playoffs soon. He’s not gonna put in B-string for that, and he’s definitely not gonna take out his captain.“

“Who would dare punish a Skywalker?” Han murmured as he continued to demolish his cinnamon roll, “Daddy would have a pretty strong word with them if it came to that, huh?”

An emotion you couldn’t identify passed over Luke’s face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

“Han,” you warned, rubbing your temples, “Leave him alone.”

Luke smiled smugly at that, looking satisfied, and Han just scoffed and went back to eating. Leia looked at you curiously for a second, narrowing her eyes at the two of you, but ultimately said nothing. Huh.

“Well, we should head out. I’ve got a student council meeting at noon,” she said, getting up to grab a cinnamon roll for the road.

Luke sighed and squeezed your knee under the blanket you were sharing, a quiet goodbye only for you. He stood then, following his sister to the door, and gave you a cute wave paired with a smile.

“Thanks for letting us stay,” Leia said, punching Han in the arm lightly as she grabbed a napkin for her food, “See you in class.”

He only nodded, too standoffish to say anything else, and then thanked Luke again for breakfast.

“Tell Chewie we said bye!” Luke added happily, and with that, they were gone.

You and Han looked at each other for a moment, as if in a stalemate. Finally, he spoke.

“Nothing happened,” he asserted, though the faintest blush decorating his cheeks made you skeptical, “We just shared a bed. That’s it.”

“Okay.”

“You guys did too,” he continued, sounding defensive, “So don’t give me any shit, okay?”

“Okay,” you said again, but he seemed to know that you didn’t fully believe him.

“Nothing is going on between us. We barely even get along as friends.”

“Sure, I believe you.”

“You’re pissing me off.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“You have a stupid look on your face. I can tell.”

You rolled your eyes and stood from the couch, not in the mood to hear him vehemently deny his building feelings for Leia.

“I’m going back to sleep. You can argue with Chewie when he gets up.”

He huffed, and then, looking at the counter, asked a question that caught you off guard.

“Hey,” he began awkwardly, not meeting your eyes, “Have you noticed anything off about him?”

“About Luke? Why?” you asked, surprised. Something about his inquiry almost seemed melancholy, and you began to wonder if Leia had mentioned something to him that you didn’t know about.

“I dunno. I just—I’m probably just looking too far into it. Never mind.”

“No,” you protested, taking a seat at the island, “Tell me.”

He sighed and pinched off a piece of his napkin, rolling the paper into a little ball and flicking it across the counter.

“Leia alluded to something when we first met him. I don’t know. It’s probably nothing, but I’ve just kept thinking about it since then, and now I notice every time she seems worried about him.”

You weren’t in the mood to tease him about how in tune he was with Leia’s emotions.

“You’re worried about him,” you realized, something about Han caring enough about Luke to notice when he wasn’t feeling well making your heart swell.

“I am not,” he argued, glaring at you.

“I know what you mean, though,” you said, thinking about his words, “I think he might have some shit going on, yeah, but he doesn’t like talking about himself that much.”

“Leia really hates his friends,” he added quietly.

“That’s understandable. I’ve never seen them do anything weird to him, but I could definitely imagine that they’re not the best people to go to if you need to talk to someone.”

“Yeah,” he said, sighing, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out or nothin’ kid. I guess maybe I was a little worried about him. Got up to piss last night and thought I heard someone cryin’ or something.”

“Oh,” you murmured, recalling Luke’s nightmare, “Yeah, but he’s alright.”

“You two didn’t get into a fight or anything, right?” he asked, trying and failing to keep his tone casual.

“No, Han,” you assured him, trying not to let your amusement at his brotherly concern shine through, “But thank you. I appreciate you checking in on us.”

“Whatever,” he scoffed, gaze darting back to the countertop. You chuckled and stood, slapping his shoulder.

With that, you trekked back to your room, closing your door and collapsing onto your bed. You checked your phone then, surprised to see that Luke had already texted you.

Luke: when can i see u again?

You grinned, blushing and staring at the screen.

Things were falling into place.

[dianawinchester03]

Season 3, Episode 9 - Malleus Maleficarum

Series Masterlist

Author’s Note: Hi beauties!!! Okay beware, this is gonna be a long note that is just about me. You don’t need to read, this is just my way of connecting with you my besties❤️

So, random life updates. I’ve started going to the gym and this new diet. Now, at the back of my mind, I can hear Dean’s disappointment. “Damn princess, didn’t think you’d pull a Sammy on me with this rabbit food diet” IM SORRY BABE IM TRYNA LOSE WEIGHT CUZ IM A HEAVY FUCK😭😭😭not to mention, my scoliosis was killing me so the workouts have been helping.

Things haven’t been the best at home with my mom, mind you I’m a 21 year old grown ass woman and I still struggle with parental issues. How? IDFK💀😭 (sorry I always find humor in the weirdest fucking situations— that’s my Dean side showing lol) I still see myself as a kid and then I remember “HO, you is an ADULT” so I try to work around it.

My schedule was totally fucked, my sleep schedule was totally fucked and I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I should’ve been which is why I decided to put myself first for the first time in my life. I’ve been getting guilted for it but FUCK THAT😂😂😂

All in all, since then, my mental health has been getting better slowly but surely. Everything hurts physically, don’t get me wrong. I feel like I’ve been thrown into the air and tossed around like a goddamn rag doll BUT ya girl is turning into an almond mom and thriving XD (jkjk, god I miss cheeseburgers and cookies. And roti ugggghhh💔)

Besides the point, hope you guys like this one!!❤️

Warnings: smut, phone sex, masturbation (f&m) mentions of cunnlingus, mentions of sex, dirty talk, over stimulation.

____________________________________________

Third Person POV

Somewhere in the US

•Sometime in January 2008

The quartet was now back to a trio once more since Jo parted ways with them again to go off on her own hunt with her mother. This time, Y/N loaned Jo her bike so she was riding along with the Winchesters. Shocker, huh? Y/N fuckin’ L/N, lending someone her pride and joy???

Anyway, the three took on a hunt of their own, now in the middle of the living room to a house belonging to a recent victim who died very….strangely. Long story short, Janet Dutton’s (the victim) teeth fell out suddenly, one by one. Resulting in her untimely death. The death was not only strange but sudden.

Now, Dean was questioning Paul Dutton about his wife’s death while Sam and Y/N searched the bathroom for clues as to what happened. “She was so scared. I couldn't help, I couldn't do anything to stop it….” A grieving Paul explained to Dean as he took a deep breath. Glancing up toward the elder Winchester, who was taking notes on his little pad.

“And I've talked to the police, and I've talked to the medical examiner and no one can explain it.” Dean nodded as Paul spoke, “Well, that's why they put the call in to us Mr. Dutton.” Dean assured him as Y/N closed the door across from them, locking it so she and Sam could fully search it. “But the CDC, that's disease control, right? What do you think, it's some kind of virus?” Paul asked nervously.

“We're not ruling out anything yet. Mr. Dutton, did Janet have any enemies?” Dean asked Y/N gently rummaged through drawers and Sam searched the shelves. “I'm sorry?” Paul scoffed. “Anyone that might have a reason to hurt her?” Dean asked again, while in the bathroom, Y/N glanced over to Sam, shaking her head, indicating there was nothing there. “Wait, wh— what are you saying? That somebody poisoned her?” Paul got up from his position on the couch, his eyes filled with surprise. Dean shrugged in return.

In the bathroom, Sam sighed before his eyes landed on the sink. He placed his finger up before shuffling over to it. He crouched down to check it out, his jaw dropping when he noticed a hex bag stuffed between two pipes.

“I'm just saying we have to cover every base here.” Dean nodded, trying to hold up the stern and serious agent facade. “Well, I mean, what kind of poison? You think a person could have done this?” Paul asked bewildered.

Sam’s eyes quickly traveled back to the bag as Y/N appeared by his side, “What did you find?” She whispered, her voice soft. “Hex bag” Sam whispered back, reaching in to try to take it out from between the crease. He struggled to retrieve it, due to the small space. Y/N watched with an amused smile and tilted head and Sam fought to get the bag out.

Y/N snickered, cupping her palm over her mouth. “You okay there, little Winchester?” She teased, bending down to his level. Sam scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Stop being a smartass and get it, dude” She snorted again, kneeling down and pushing Sam aside to get the hex bag out. “Ta-da” She mused, dangling it in his face. Sam shot her his classic bitchface, but there was no heat behind it before snatching it out of her hand.

The two got up and exited the bathroom as Dean asked Paul, “Would anyone want to?” But the man shook his head, “What?! No, no, there's just no one that could've—“ He exclaimed before trailing off, almost as if he was lost in thought. Dean raised a quizzical brow at Mr. Dutton, “Mr. Dutton?” He inquired, his notebook out and ready to jot something down. Paul snapped out of his daze, looking back at Dean.

“Uh, everyone loved Janet.” He assured him but even Paul didn’t seem so sure. Dean furrowed his brows before glancing over to his brother and girlfriend. The younger hunter and psychic nodded, indicating that they were done with their investigation. Dean looked back to Paul before nodding, “Okay. Thank you very much, I think we've got everything we need. We'll get out of your way now.”

-

The rain drizzled above them as they walked down the porch to the Dutton residence toward the Impala, “That dude seem a little evasive to you?” Dean asked them, pointing to the house behind them with his thumb. Sam and Y/N shrugged, “I don't know I was under a sink, pulling this out.” Sam answered as he took the hex bag out of his pocket and handed it to Dean. Y/N put up a finger, “Correction, I got it out. You were struggling like a dog with a cone on its head” She taunted.

This resulted in another eye roll from Sam and a chuckle from Dean, “Bite me,” Sam shot back, “No thanks,” Y/N winked back as Dean stopped in front on the Impala to open it up, “It’s a hexbag” Y/N told him as he gagged when looking at the contents, “Awww gross.” He groaned, covering his nose. “Yeah, there are bird bones, rabbit's teeth. This cloth is probably cut from something Janet Dutton owned.” Sam explained as he pointed to it.

“So we're thinking witch?” Dean suggested as he stuffed the hexbag into Y/N’s hands. “Uh, yeah, and not some new age wicked water douser either.” She nodded, wrapping the bag back up as she and Sam followed behind Dean. “This is Old World black magic, charming. I mean, warts and all.” She grimaced, shaking her head as they approached the Impala. Dean mimicked her expression, opening the back door for her, allowing her to climb in while Sam claimed shotgun.

Dean shut her door before peeling open the drivers side, plopping in next to his brother, “I fuckin’ hate witches” He pointed out with a look of disgust, Y/N’s brows furrowed when he said this while Sam chuckled awkwardly, glancing back over at his surrogate sister as Dean rambled on. “They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere.” He ranted, “Pretty much” Sam muttered, frowning slightly. “It's fuckin’ creepy, you know, it's down right unsanitary.” Dean grumbled, started the ignition.

“You do know that witches are related to psychics, right?” Y/N piped up, slightly glaring at her boyfriend. Her voice was soft but still stern, her displeasure with the comments obvious. Dean’s face turned pale at her words, “What?” Sam’s lips tucked into his mouth when he saw Dean’s face fall as though he had seen a ghost, trying to stop himself from laughing.

“They’re like our older jealous black sheep cousin. Our powers come from nature, meaning they’re natural. We can still practice witchcraft but that doesn’t classify us as witches since we don’t dabble in dark arts.” She explained as she peeled off her black blazer. Dean’s face morphed into a look of guilt while Sam’s face remained in ‘don’t laugh’ mode. “Yeah Dean,” The younger Winchester said, his eyes flickering between Y/N’s and Dean’s faces.

“She’s right.” Sam confirmed and Dean exhaled deeply, “I….I didn’t mean to insult you, sweetheart. I just don’t like witches.” Dean said sincerely. Y/N snorted, shaking her head. “Me neither, they’re nasty bitches. They give us a bad rep too,” She agreed, stretching out her limb. “They do give you a bad rep,” Dean muttered, “No one is scared of psychics. Everyone’s scared of witches.” He pointed out and Y/N nodded.

“I don’t understand it. I mean, we’re pretty much the same.” She shrugged, “We both hear and see a bunch of things you normal folks don’t, we’re both hunted….we both have powers” Dean raised a brow at her, “You normal folks?” He smirked. Y/N rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean smartass.” She muttered, a smile tugging at her lips as she reached over and swatted his arm before leaning back against the window.

“Either way, someone definitely had it out for Janet Dutton and it’s most likely a witch” Sam chimed in, Dean nodded in agreement. “Yeah, someone who snuck into that house and planted the bag.” Dean sighed, “So what are we thinking, we're uh, looking for some old craggy Blair bitch in the woods.” He asked as he turned on the heat in Baby, gathering up some heat between his hands from the vents.

“No it could be anyone. Neighbor, coworker, man, woman, that's the problem, Dean, they're human, they're like everyone else.” Y/N explained. “Great. How do we find 'em?” Dean grumbled, “This wasn't random, someone in Janet Dutton's life had an ugly axe to grind. We find the motive—” Sam began, “—We find the murderer.” Dean finished his sentence in, causing Y/N to flinch.

“I swear, the way y’all talk at the same time and finish each other sentences, it’s fuckin’ creepier than witches, man” She muttered. “Shut up” Sam and Dean said in unison as Y/N gagged. The two brothers eyed each other and she shook her head in disbelief. “You just did it again you morons,” Y/N groaned and Sam snickered while Dean flashed her a wink before peeling out of the Dutton’s driveway.

-

Later that night, they decided to stake out and follow Paul Dutton after agreeing with Dean that he was a bit evasive. They ended up following him to a diner and into an empty dead street. Paul parked his car at the head of the street so they kept it safe and parked a few cars down. Dean and Y/N were growing bored, now playing rock, paper, scissors while Sam lounged in the backseat.

“I want to stab myself” Dean groaned when he lost again. Y/N chuckled in victory as Sam let out a breathy laugh, “Oh poor baby,” Y/N teased, as she pinched her boyfriend���s cheek, making Dean roll his eyes. “This is the worst stakeout ever, absolutely boring. He’s literally just sitting there.” Dean complained.

“Hey, you said somethin’ was up with the dude.” Y/N pointed out, as she took out her pack of cigarettes and lighter from her jacket, offering Dean one. “Don’t remind me” Dean grumbled as he pulled out a cigarette from the pack and Y/N flicked her lighter, directing the naked flame to the end of the stick. “And he’s been there for hours,” He complained as the steam rolled out between his lips.

Y/N cupped her hand over the flame to light her own cigarette. “Maybe he’s just waiting for someone?” Y/N suggested, taking a huff from her cigarette and letting the smoke trail from her parted lips before turning her body so she can lean her head backwards onto his chest. He inhaled from the cigarette, resting his chin on the top of her head before shrugging his shoulders,

“Maybe, but it’s still weird. Who just sits in an empty parking lot on a Thursday night?” Dean questioned, his hand now stroking her hair. “Serial killers.” Sam piped up from the back, his hand resting over his face as he layed across the backseat. One of his knees propped up, Y/N snorted in amusement as Dean chuckled. “You two and you’re goddamn serial killer obsession, I swear” Dean muttered.

“He’s not wrong” Y/N agreed, taking the cigarette out her mouth and holding it in between her fingers, “There’s probably a dozen dead bodies in the trunk as we speak” She teased and Dean rolled his eyes, “Can you two shut your pieholes, and enjoy the silence without speculating?” Dean scolded, his hand swatting at her boob lightly before tucking it into the top of her shirt for comfort, wiggling his fingers between the creases of her bra.

“Jesus Christ, Dean!” Y/N exclaimed, smacking his hand away as he grinned, “What? I’m just trying to stay warm” He shot back, tucking his hand into her boob again. Thankfully, Sam didn’t see since he was texting Jo because he probably would’ve berated them for being ‘indecent in his presence’.

Y/N let out a breathy scoff, “If you want to stay warm than turn on the heat” She protested, her cheeks tinged slightly pink as he smirked. “Why would I waste Baby’s precious heat when I can just stick my hands up your shirt?” He asked with a cheeky tone and Y/N rolled her eyes, taking another huff of her cigarette before flicking the end out the window. “What a caveman” She grumbled.

Sam paused in his text, grimacing in disgust before rolling his eyes to type, ‘Angel, I love you but can you please hurry your fine ass up and get here before Dean and Y/N lick each other’ to his girlfriend.

“You know you like it” Dean teased and Y/N scoffed, “Yeah, your sweaty hands are so comfy, I love it” She mocked in a deadpan tone and Dean stuck out his bottom lip in a little pout.

Sam’s phone buzzed in his hands, ‘I doubt they’re that bad’ Jo responded, he scoffed typing away once more.

‘Oh God, don’t get me started. I’m literally three minutes away from having to gouge my eyes out and plug my ears with cotton’ He complained.

Meanwhile, Dean chuckled, burying his nose into her hair to inhale that intoxicating coconut shampoo of hers, the tobacco added to it gave him a sense of relief. Eventually, she complied and the two made conversation while Sam complained to Jo in the back.

Suddenly, Y/N noticed Paul Dutton’s car began jerking forward. Almost as if he was struggling. “Dean!” She quickly slapped Dean out of her hair, his head snapping in the direction of Paul's car. Sam rose from his seat in a whip as Dean and Y/N tossed their cigarettes out of the window and Dean started Baby’s ignition. Paul tossed himself out of his car and onto the pavement as Dean hit the gas and drove over towards him.

The brothers and Y/N quickly exited the Impala and jogged over towards Paul, who was hunched over choking on the ground. “Check the car!” Dean urgently instructed Sam, who did so immediately while he and Y/N knelt beside Paul.

His face grew red as he choked on the maggots, “Sammy!!” Y/N shouted as she frantically pounded Paul’s back. “Got it!” Sam yelled back, pulling the hex bag out of the steering column. Dean and Y/N hauled Paul to his feet, leaning him against the car as Sam lit the hex bag aflame, glowing green and blue before tossing it on the ground away from them.

Paul’s eyes widened as his throat opened back up, greedily gasping and inhaling the oxygen into his lungs. His chest heaved as he spat out the maggots from his mouth. Y/N grimaced, averting her gaze and instead watching Paul with a concerned expression. She didn’t like maggots, never has and never will. “You okay?” Dean asked, holding the man up while he panted for air.

“What the hell is happening to me?!” Paul panicked, “Someone murdered your wife and now they're trying to kill you, that's what's happening to you.” Y/N stated, matter of factly. “That's impossible! There's no way—” Paul denied as she scoffed, rolling her eyes. Dean was quick to cut him off, “Well, if we hadn't have been following you, you'd be a doornail right now. Now who wants you dead?” He demanded.

“I-uh…” Paul stuttered, “C’mon, think!” Y/N urged him, “There's a woman—uh—” Paul tried to think, “Okay, a woman? Okay.” Dean also urged him to continue as Paul’s face flushed with embarrassment. “An affair—a mistake, she was un-balanced, she was blackmailing me and I put an end to it a week ago.” He admitted. Y/N blinked rapidly, her eyes going from Paul to Dean as he described his infidelity.

“What’s her name?” Sam asked pressingly, “Wha–What could she have to do with—?” Paul stammered again and Y/N was growing tired. “Enough!” Y/N snapped, holding her hand up in a stop signal and Paul snapped his mouth shut, “Look, Jude Law. We don’t give a shit if you’re screwing the nanny. What we need to do is stop a goddamn witch. Now give us your girlfriend’s name or so god help me—“

“Fine, fine...uh–” Paul quickly relented, “Her name is Amanda Burns” With a huff, Y/N nodded, “Thank you.” He nodded in response before pulling out a pen and paper from his pocket to write down Amanda’s address. They then guided him back over to his car. “You gonna be alright?” Y/N questioned as he leaned against the door.

He nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. Thank you” He assured her, Dean patted his back in farewell and they returned to Baby to head to Amanda’s home.

-

Not too long after, Y/N was on her knees picking the lock to Amanda’s house while Sam and Dean stood guard behind her. With a slight click, the tumblers of the lock finally gave away and she smirked in satisfaction. She pushed the door open and the three snuck inside slowly, making sure to keep their guns drawn in front of them.

Sam closed the door behind him as Dean and Y/N walked forward towards the living room. They entered the room, only to find Amanda lifeless on a glass coffee table covered in blood which was still pouring out of her wrists. Dean flicked the light on as the flames burnt in her candles, so it seemed as though she just died. “That's a curveball.” Dean commented as Sam and Y/N nodded their heads with furrowed brows.

“Yeah.” Sam muttered with a slight frown as Y/N muttered, “You’re telling me, man” They all slowly approached Amanda’s corpse as Dean gently used the barrel of his gun to lift her right arm before doing the same to her other arm. “Three per wrist, vertical. She wasn’t foolin' around.” Dean pointed out as Y/N’s eyes landed on the rotting rotisserie chicken on the floor, maggots coating its carcass.

“Yeah, looks like she was working some heavyweight evil here.” Sam confirmed as he put his gun in the back of his jeans and bent down to look at the scattered remnant of what seemed like an altar holding his nose to the smell of the burnt rotten food. “No shit, Sherlock” Y/N huffed, doing the same. Sam shot his sister his classic bitchface as a shiver ran down her spine as a fly buzz echoed in her ear, the sound reverberating in her ears.

“God, I hate those things.” She huffed, swatting it away from her face before standing back up. Dean nodded in agreement as well, “The smell isn’t much better up here.” He mumbled as the smell of decaying hit his nostrils. Y/N glanced around the room, noticing some odd items that weren’t quite right. Dean spun around, then jumped back, startled since he nearly walked into a rabbit, hanging from the ceiling, dead. “Oh god!”

Y/N cupped a hand over her mouth, her eyes darting over to Sam. The duo shared an amused gaze, Sam pushing himself to his feet as Dean ran a hand over his face to mask his fear. “Fuckin’ witches! Seriously man, come on!” He exclaimed, turning back to the duo. Their faces quickly dropped, trying to mask their amusement. “Guess we know where she got the rabbit's teeth from.” Sam reverted back to the subject in hand.

“Well, Paul sure knows how to pick 'em huh? It's like Fatal Attraction all over again.” Y/N scoffed, shifting her weight onto her other foot as she shoved both her hands in her back pockets. “Yeah.” Sam sighed, “And why does the rabbit always get screwed in the deal?!” Dean grumbled, turning back to the rabbit. He frowned, glancing down at the bowl of its blood, which was leaking from its mouth. “Poor little guy”

“You know what I don't get, guys? If she was so bent on revenge, why do this?” Sam pointed out, “Well, she got Janet Dutton, thought she finished off Paul, decided to cap herself and make it a spurned lover's hat-trick.” Dean suggested with a shrug. Sam and Y/N didn’t look too convinced however, “Maybe” Sam sighed as Y/N crouched back down, shielding her nose to get a better look at the occult pages on the floor beneath the table Amanda’s corpse laid.

“I mean, this doesn't exactly look like the TV room of a bright and stable person, you know?” Dean commented as he pocketed his gun into his inner jacket, “No, but then…” Y/N began as she reached around and pulled out another hex bag that was tucked under the table in a crease. “There’s this,” She stated as she stood up, handing it to Sam. He looked stunned before he tossed it to Dean, who caught it with ease.

“Another hexbag? Come on” Dean grumbled in distaste as he untied it and peeled it open to find similar contents of the bag they found in Janet’s bathroom. He grimaced in disgust before pelting it on the table. “Looks like we got a hit, huh? A little witch-on-witch violence?” He said as he reached for his phone in his pocket, flipping it open. “I guess.” Sam and Y/N sighed in unison while Dean dialed 9-1-1 and held his phone to his ear.

“I'd like to report a dead body, 309 Mayfair Circle.” He told the operator, pacing over to his girlfriend, “My name? Yeah, sure my name is—” He snapped his phone shut comedically with a bored expression as Y/N snickered slightly in amusement before reverting back to a serious expression. “Why are witches ganking each other?” She muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don't know, but I think maybe we got a coven on our hands.” Sam responded, “Well that’s just great ain’t it” Dean muttered sarcastically as he and Y/N ran their hands over their faces in frustration.

____________________________________________

Dean laid back against the headrest behind him tiredly as he sipped a glass of whiskey, glancing over at his girlfriend who sat at the small table with his laptop in front of her. “Sweetheart, we already got the names of Amanda’s friends. We’ll check ‘em out in the morning.” Dean’s voice snapped her out of her deep train of thought. “Come to bed” He urged her, patting the empty space on the bed beside them.

Y/N looked over at him for a moment before sighing and shutting the laptop. She got up from the chair with her laptop in hand and placed it on the nightstand before getting off the chair. She crawled over the bed, snuggling closer into his warm shirtless body. “Maybe I’m paranoid” She mumbled, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

Dean’s glass paused halfway to his mouth, “You’re always paranoid,” He commented with a snort, downing the rest of the brown liquid before stretching to place the empty glass next to her laptop on the nightstand. She rolled her eyes, smacking his arm playfully while he chuckled. “Shut up” She grumbled before placing her chin on his chest to peer up at him.

“I just got a bad feeling, that’s all” She sighed as her fingers trailed along the little pudge on Dean’s stomach. “If you say I ‘always get feelings’ so god help me, I’m making you sleep on the ground” She threatened with narrowed eyes but they held no heat behind them. He laughed softly, his fingers trailing through her damp hair, “No you won’t, cause you’ll miss this” He teased, giving her a cheeky grin.

His hand trailed down her body, which held his flannel over it. “Or this” He added, giving her a squeeze ass, erupting a small squeal from her lips. “Or this” He concluded, planting a kiss on her forehead. She fought the growing smirk on her face, “Yeah yeah, I’d never survive without you” She teased before playfully shoving at his chest.

He gasped dramatically, “Hey, I’m being sweet right now” He muttered, squeezing her frame in his arms. She snickered softly, “Oh, so that squeeze to my ass was you being sweet hm?” She inquired with a raised brow. He shrugged, “It was a gesture of courtesy” He responded simply.

“Such a gentleman” She mumbled sarcastically, shifting her head back down onto his chest. He let out a satisfied sigh, “Damn straight” He proclaimed proudly before placing another kiss on top of her head.

“Don’t ever let that ego get too big, Winchester”

“Too late, L/N”

“You’re ridiculous,” She scoffed, lifting her head, “But you love me.” Dean replied as a matter of factly and Y/N nodded in agreement. “Unfortunately, I do.” She responded with another scoff and he laughed once more, “Oh shut up, you know you’d be lost without me.”

Y/N’s face fell, her heart thundered in her chest when she was unconsciously reminded of his deal. “Yeah…yeah I would be” She admitted, her tone a bit croaky, her big (e/c) eyes now filled with sorrow. A sad feeling bubbled up in his chest as he saw her eyes go sad, his hand trailing up and down her back in a soothing manner. “Hey, hey...” Dean cooed gently.

“Baby I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that” He apologized, now realizing why she got all glum. She shook her head, “No, no it’s okay” She reassured him, trying to mask her feelings, not wanting him to feel guilty. She placed a kiss on the bare patch of skin on his chest.

Y/N trailed her lips up and chest slowly, peppering kisses from the base of his anti possession sigil tattoo. All the way to that sweet spot behind his ear, in an aid to diffuse and turn the situation. She refused to give up hope, no matter how hopeless it may be. She wasn’t gonna give up on her man just like that, not ever.

He tilted his head to the side, allowing her more access to his neck as he hummed in appreciation. The feeling of her lips on his skin was like heaven, a sweet drug that he craved endlessly. It was the only true heaven he knew and probably the only one he will ever know.

-

Author’s Note: HI so remember those warnings? Yeah they weren’t for Dean and Y/N💀 sooooo ENJOY! If you don’t wanna read the Sam x Jo smut, you could always skip it🫶

-

Meanwhile, in Sam’s motel room. “Yeah, we’re thinkin’ it's a coven. Gonna check out the dead witch’s friends in the morning” He said to Jo into his phone, leaning back on the wooden bed frame. One arm lazily resided as the back of his head, propping it up while the other held the phone against his ear.

“A witch coven, huh? Well that’s not good” Jo’s voice echoed into the phone, sounding rather concerned. He sighed before rubbing his free hand over his face. “Yeah, it’s a blast” Sam joked, running a hand over his light stubble. “Just be careful, okay?” She warned him, her voice suddenly going soft.

He scoffed playfully, “Angel, I can look after myself” He reassured her, a shy smile tugging at his lips. He could hear her scoff on the other line, “Yeah, I know. I’m just worried is all,” She confessed with a sigh. A sympathetic frowned formed on his face, her worrying for him always made his heart twist. “Hey, I’ll be fine” He promised her softly, “I’m with Dean and Y/N, I can’t possibly get hurt.”

Sam’s reassurance didn’t ease her nerves entirely, but she still smiled faintly. The thought of him being hurt still lingered in the back of her mind as an annoying itch. “Don't pull your puppy dog eyes on me, Winchester. I can just picture it right now” She muttered into the phone and Sam chuckled, his nose crinkling at her words.

“Oh, is that a threat?” He asked with a smirk, shifting his position on the bed. “Maybe it is” Jo shot back before a playful smile took hold of her lips. “Yeah? What are you gonna do to me, Ms. Harvelle?” He questioned slyly, pulling himself down onto the bed to lean back against his pillows. Jo’s smirk turned into a full-blown grin at the sound of his flirtation, her free hand playing with the hem of her shirt.

“You wanna know the answer to that, Mr. Winchester?” She inquired, her tone becoming more sultry. His breath got caught in his throat, his body growing hot as he felt his cock shift in his pants. “Yeah, I’d love to know” He responded, his voice low and raspy.

Jo’s breath quickened, her eyes closing for a moment as she imagined what he looked at currently. He was probably sprawled out on his back, his shirt riding up to expose a sliver of skin and his hand shoved into his jeans. “First, I’d run my hands through your hair…” She began breathlessly, biting her lip, her thighs clenching together.

“Yeah?” He inquired, his brain now filling with dirty visions that involved her and him. “Then what?” He prompted curiously, his hand now placed on his stomach, itching to move it lower. “I’d kiss you slowly, starting with your neck” She replied huskily, “and trace my way up to your lips.” Her fingers began playing with one of the buttons of her shirt mindlessly as she spoke.

Sam let out a quiet groan as his eyes fluttered closed, imagining those sweet lips of hers on him. “I like the sound of that” He murmured, his fingers now tracing slow circles on his hip bones. “I know you do” She responded cockily, licking her lips as she toyed with the buttons of the flannel she stole from him. “And then what?” He inquired once again.

”Then I’d unbutton your shirt, one by one” Sam’s hand drifted lower, now toying with the button on his jeans. “And start trailing kisses down your chest” Finally, Sam freed himself. His cock springing free from the confides of his jeans and boxers. He was quick to wrap a firm hand around his cock. “Shit” He whimpered through gritted teeth, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

“What’s the matter, you getting all hot and bothered, Sammy?” Jo giggled as she stuffed her hand up her shirt, toying and tweaking with a perky nipple of her. “Yeah, I am. Can you fuckin’ blame me?” Sam responded in a slightly whiny tone. The sound of Sam’s whines made her let out an unintentional moan. She brought her hand to her mouth to stifle it, not wanting him to know she was touching herself.

The small sound didn't go unnoticed, leaving Sam's eyes going wide. “Did you just...moan?” He inquired curiously, his voice filled with disbelief. A smirk found its way on his lips as he realized she was doing exactly what he was. “I— wha—” Jo stammered.

“What’s the matter, you getting all hot and bothered, angel?” He cut her off, his voice deep and gravelly while he thrusted into his hand, throwing her words back into her face. “S-shut up, Winchester” She protested, her cheeks tinged red in embarrassment, “I’m not, I’m—” He cuts her off once more, his hand quickening its pace.

“Yeah you are.” He grunted, “I swear to god I can hear it from here.” He teased, his hand moving slower as he chuckled breathlessly. “C’mon, it’s nothin’ to be ashamed of. It’s just me and you here..” He urged her, biting his lower lip. Jo didn’t need to be told twice. In a flash, her jeans were off and the tips of her fingers were coated with her very own slick as she rubbed furiously at her clit to the sounds of Sam’s desperate whimpers and dirty words.

“I swear” He groaned, his breaths becoming ragged as he quickened the pace of his hand. “I can hear how wet you are right now….” He whispered, his voice strained from the immense need for release. “S-Sam. Please…” Jo pleaded, her eyes screwed shut, her hair sprawled out across her pillow as her lips formed an “O” shape. Trying to hold back her impending orgasm, only willing to allow herself to cum at his command.

“Oh, listen to you...” He breathed, “such a desperate little thing.” He teased, his hand matching her pace, “bet you wished you were stuffed with this big fat—” he paused, his brain clouding for a second as he let out an involuntary moan as his hand sped up “—cock”

Sam’s words instantly made Jo’s walls clench around her own fingers. “Oh god, Sam” She whimpered, “I do...I do...” She confessed desperately, her heart hammering wildly in her chest, almost like it was going to burst. “Please, god, I need you.” She pleaded, her own words coming out breathy and desperate. “I bet you wish I was there, right? Wish I was pounding into that pretty little pussy”

Sam’s thumb swiped across the tip of his cock, collecting the precum leaking down to add to the extra stimulation. He brought his hand up to his mouth to collect a glob of spit before bringing it down back to his rosy tip. He groaned at the feeling, stroking his dick up and down at a quick pace and imagining it was her hand instead.

“God, I wish I was there too. I’d shove those pretty little thighs of yours open wide and lick you up, nice and slow” He let out another, “Just the way you like it.” He said huskily, letting his tongue glide across his lower lip. “Fuuuuuck” The words made Jo’s head swim, her teeth gritting in response. There was something about dirty talk that she loved so much. It made her squirm and shiver in the most pleasant ways possible.

Her imagination went wild with the thought of him on top of her, his head in between her thighs, his long tongue running over her folds. “I’m close, I’m close” She warned him, feeling fluids fully soak her fingers. Her grip on her phone tightening near her ear. “Hold off.” He growled into the phone, his voice leaving no room for questions.

“You can’t cum til I say so.” His tone was firm, leaving her whimpering at the sound of it alone. “Yes, sir” She gasped out, knowing better than to argue, especially when she was at his mercy. His grip on the base of his cock tightened as her desperate words echoed through his ears, his own climax quickly approaching, unable to hold back any longer.

“That's my good girl" he cooed, feeling his release nearing. "Now tell me what you’re doing” He ordered. “I’m lying down on my bed, my legs are spread wide open.” She replied, her breath coming out in pants. “I’m on my back.” He groaned into the receiver, the mental image of her on her back making his cock twitch. “Yeah? You all spread out for me?”

“Mhm” She nodded frantically, “I’m so soaked for you, wishing it was you playing with me instead” she whined. “Me too baby, you have no idea how much I wish I could be there with you.” He panted, his hand moving at a steady rhythm. “Keep going.” He instructed with a hint of firmness.

“I feel so empty without you in me. I wish you were here, god you would be so deep inside of me right now. I’m t-trying so hard to hold back.” She whimpered out, her head thrown back “Please, please let me cum” Jo pleaded, the desperation clear. “You know the rules. You’re not gonna cum til I say so.” He growled out, a smirk forming on his lips when she whined out in frustration. “Who’s gonna make you cum?”

“You, only you” She gasped out, her body squirming in need. Sam chuckled deeply, a cocky smile on his face. "That’s it, there it is…." Then, he felt that familiar tightness in the pit of his stomach. “Fuck, Jo!” His pace quickened, pumping at his cock furiously, chasing his own release.

She could hear his heavy panting and the sound of skin slapping skin on the other end, making her whimper even more. “I need you, Sam…please” She pleaded, the need for release almost overwhelming her. “Cum.” That singular word from Sam made Jo snap, the dam bursting in an instant as her pussy clenched around nothing.

She mewled and screamed his name relentlessly, damn near soaking her sheets with how worked up he had her. The sound of her release made Sam follow suit, his climax hitting him like a tidal wave as she continued to plead for him. Jets of his release practically spit out of his tip and dripped onto his hand and shirt as his hand slowed, trying to prolong the sensation as best he could.

The beads of his semen leaking down. "Damnit..." he cursed, his breaths ragged from the intensity of his orgasm. “God…I swear, you’ve got too much power” Jo muttered over the phone to him, her breaths shaky as she tried to regain normal respiration. Sam chuckled weakly in response, patting around his bed for the towel he had discarded from his shower earlier.

Once he found it, he picked it up then slowly sat up in his bed, his shirt clinging to his glistening chest. “Yeah, you love it though.” He teased, starting to wipe himself clean. “Are you okay, angel? I wasn’t too mean, was I?” He asked sincerely, a stark contrast to how he was just a minute ago.

“Oh hush, you know I like it when you’re rough and commanding” She reassured him, sitting up and taking one of her pillows and hugging it to her chest. He hummed in response, tossing the towel on the nightstand before laying back down on his pillows. “Don’t I know it”

____________________________________________

The next morning, Elizabeth, one of Amanda’s friends, was turning the soil of her front garden with a small trowel. Sam, Dean and Y/N walk up her driveway to question her, all decked out in their FBI suits. “You must have a green thumb.” Sam commented. Elizabeth’s head snapped up towards them from her spot where she stooped, “Excuse me?”

“Getting these herbs to grow out of season like this, quite impressive.” Y/N added as she pointed to the familiar herbs she worked with when it came to concocting her healing balms and other ‘psychic’ treatments. Usually she worked with them dried and grounded but they were easy to recognize in their natural form. Elizabeth looked at her stunned, her eyes glancing back down to her garden.

“I'm sorry, I have introduced myself first.” The psychic apologized before reaching into her jacket simultaneously with the boys to retrieve their badges, “I'm uh, Detective Bachman, this is Detective Turner and Thornton” Sam introduced himself, then Dean and Y/N, offering the alarmed brunette woman a kind smile as she pushed herself up from the ground. Dusting off her gardening gloves.

“Hi-ya” Dean greeted with a sweet smile as he and Y/N stuffed their badges back into their inner jacket pockets. “We're following up on Amanda Burns' death, going around the neighborhood and talking to neighbors and stuff like that.” Y/N explained, “But didn't she— I mean she killed herself right?” Elizabeth stammered with panicked filled eyes. “Maybe, maybe.” Sam nodded.

“We heard you were friends with the deceased, is that right?” Dean asked professionally, “Yeah, I guess so.” Elizabeth breathed out, nodding shakily. “Did you have any idea about her practices?” Y/N asked with a raised brow as she stuffed her hands into her dress pants pockets. “I'm sorry, what kind of practices?” Elizabeth blinked rapidly, “Well see, her house was littered with Satanic paraphernalia.” Sam informed her, taking note of her shaky behavior.

“A regular Black Sabbath.” Dean commented but Elizabeth shook her head, “No, the— but she was an Episcopalian.” She stammered again, “Well, then we're pretty sure she was using the wrong Bible.” Dean snorted, earning side eyes from Sam and Y/N, along with a smack to the arm by his girlfriend. Dean clutched his arm and gritted his teeth at her, grumbling under his breath while two women approached them.

“Elizabeth, you all right?” Renee, a blonde woman with mid-back length hair and bangs called out to her friend with a brown skinned woman next to her, rocking a Bob and bangs. The second Y/N laid eyes on her, she got that familiar feeling in the back of her neck. The burning rose rapidly as the two women approached them. That could’ve only meant one thing. Demon.

She hissed lightly as she cupped the back of her neck, earning a concerned look from her boyfriend. She nodded lightly, indicating she was fine. Dean's narrow eyes flickered from her and back to the women as Elizabeth responded with, “I'm fine uh Renee, these are detectives. They say Amanda was— she was practicing—” She didn’t get to finish since Renee cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder as she and her other friend, Tammi, stood beside her.

“I'm sorry detectives; you can tell that Elizabeth is a little bit upset.” Renee interrupted in a snooty tone. “Of course, Miss ... ?” Dean said, “Missus. Renee. Van Allen.” The snooty blonde woman said slowly and emphatically, like it's significant and she's important. “Would you like me to spell it for you?” She sassed. Dean chuckled dryly, glancing over to Y/N, who already had her eyes narrowed at the woman, “No, I'll get by, thanks.” Y/N replied in an equally sassy tone.

While Sam and Dean held a smirk to themselves to hide their amusement. Renee scowled at her before returning to a faux remorseful gaze, “This Amanda business has been hard for Liz. For all of us.” She sighed, “Yeah. I mean, you think you know a person.” Tammi sighed. Y/N’s eyes snapped over to her, squinting lightly in suspicion. “Well, I guess we all have secrets don't we?” Dean replied with an equally suspicious gaze.

The women nodded with smirks, minus Elizabeth, who looked shaken. “Well, thanks, um, we'll be in touch.” Sam greeted politely as they began walking away, “Have a nice day.” Dean waved, guiding Y/N away by gripping her wrist. “Bye” Tammi said eerily, the psychic glancing over her shoulder at her. “Missus. Renee. Van. Allen” Y/N mocked the woman’s tone once they were out of earshot.

“I swear to god those chicks are like some ‘Real Housewives’ rejects, dude.” Dean complained as the three got back into the Impala. “They were pretty bitchy, that's for sure.” Y/N agreed, buckling her seatbelt while Sam looked at them with amusement, stretching his arms back out.

-

Later that night, Dean was driving down a country road through fog while Sam sat in the passenger's seat looking over the friend group’s recent activities and Y/N lounged in the back smoking a cigarette, all discussing the case. “Well, I'm already sold on that Elizabeth chick. Did you see that victory garden of hers? Belladonna, wolfsbane, mandrake, not to mention that little flinch she threw when we mentioned the occult.” Dean scoffed.

“Hey, you work with those herbs, right?” He asked Y/N, looking over his shoulder. Y/N nodded as she exhaled a drag of her cigarette. “Yep, not in the way she does though. I use them in my balms, ointments, tonics and all that good stuff.” She responded, taking another puff from her cigarette. Dean nodded “And those herbs she had aren't exactly the friendly sort, are they?” He inquired with a quirked brow.

“Not at all” She shook her head in confirmation with a little snort. “Well, she's definitely had a good run lately, gone up a few tax brackets, won almost too many raffles. Kinda thing a little black magic always helps with.” Sam piped up from the passenger seat, scrolling through a news article in his lap, shining a flashlight over it. “Yeah.” Dean muttered with a nod.

“I don't think she's alone either. Looks like 'MRS. Renee Van Allen' has won almost every craft contest she has entered in the past three months.” Sam added, also mocking the blonde’s snooty words as he explained, “Yeah, a regular Martha Stewart, huh? Except for the devil worship, I'm thinking that was the coven we met back there, minus one member.” Dean agreed.

“Amanda was clearly going off the reservation. What do you think, they killed her to keep up appearances?” Sam asked, “Seems like an appearance kind of crowd, don't you think?” Y/N commented with a roll of her eyes as she flicked her cigarette out the window. “Yeah.” Sam agreed with a sign, “If they killed the nut-job, should we uh, thank them or what?” Dean asked as he tilted his head, “They're working black magic too, Dean. They need to be stopped.” Sam said firmly as Y/N nodded in agreement.

Dean blinked at them surprised, “Not to mention, one of ‘em is a demon. I sensed the bitch the second she appeared, didn’t even bother to conceal herself” Y/N pointed out. Sam and Dean both turned around to look at her curiously. “When were you gonna say something?” Dean inquired, looking slightly offended.

Y/N shrugged nonchalantly, “Slipped my mind.” She responded, a sly smirk tugging at her lips. Dean rolled his eyes before looking back at the road, “Whatever. When you say ‘stopped', you mean like stopped?” He asked them wearily, his eyes flickering over to them for a split second, only to see them giving him looks in Winchesterian that said, ‘Duh Becky’

Dean was a tad bit surprised at their brutality, “They’re human, guys” He defended, “They’re murderers” Sam and Y/N shot back in unison with deadpan looks. Dean blinked but agreed nonetheless as he shrugged, “Burn, witch, burn” as he continued to drive. “So, about that demon. You think they’re getting their power from them?” Dean asked but Y/N didn’t get to respond.

The Impala suddenly started to stutter and choke up, the engine rattling, “What the fuck—” Dean muttered in shock, looking around frantically as Sam and Y/N’s brows furrowed. Baby’s headlights flicker on and then back on again on the outside as she slowly came to a stop in front of a familiar figure standing in the middle of the road with her arms crossed.

Sam and Y/N recognized the woman to be Ruby, sharing a panicked look. The two immediately hopped out of the car first with Dean following to suit, “Ruby.” Sam gasped, “Demon bitch” Y/N gritted her teeth at her as Dean narrowed his gaze at the blonde, instinctively shielding Y/N with his left arm. Ruby didn’t bother to quip back at Y/N, looking more panicked than anything else. “Sam, listen to me, there’s no time—”

“For what, what're you talking about?” Sam asked concerned, “You have to get out of town” Ruby stated urgently. “Hiya, Ruby.” Dean glared at her before fishing the Colt out from his pocket and aiming it at her, “Long time no see,” He growled, cocking the gun, “Dean!” Sam chastised him, but Dean ignored him, “I was hoping you’d show up again”

Ruby however, seemed unphased. “Point that thing somewhere else” She warned, “Hahahaha! Right.” Y/N laughed sarcastically as stood beside her man. Ruby rolled her eyes before turning to Sam, “Sam, please. Go. Get in the car and don't look back.” She pleaded warningly. “Hey blondie, we can take care of a few kitchen witches, thanks.” Dean scoffed cockily.

“I'm not talking about witches, you jackass. Witches are whores. I'm talking about who they serve.” Ruby snapped at him, “Yeah, demons. They’re getting their power from demons. We’re up to date, thanks” Y/N shot back sassily, placing her hands on her hips. “Yeah. And there's one here, now.” Ruby glared at her. “Oh, what, you mean besides you?” Dean smirked as Sam looked nervous

Ruby didn’t bother to respond, “Sam, it knows you're in town and it's gonna come after you and it's way more than you can handle.” She warned him, Y/N’s face dropped at this. “Oh come on, what is this, huh? Please tell me you're not listening to this shit!” Dean groaned. “Put a leash on your boyfriend, Y/N, if you wanna keep him.” Ruby snapped at the psychic, making her eyebrows touch the sky as Sam gulped.

“You’re not gonna do shit, bitch!” Y/N warned, her nostrils flaring as her anger got the best of her. “Dean, look, just chill out.” Sam pleaded, “No! No! She's messing with your head, God knows why, that's who they are!” Dean exclaimed, the Colt still aimed at Ruby. “Sweetie, seriously, relax” Y/N chimed in, placing her arm on her boyfriend’s bicep.

Dean quickly snapped around to her with a shocked expression, “You’re seriously siding with her on this?” He inquired, almost offended. “No, asshat, I’m just not stupid. She’s a fuckin’ demon that can kill us with a snap of her fingers. I’m not taking that chance!” Y/N retorted, narrowing her eyes at him as Sam sighed.

“I’m telling the truth!” Ruby insisted. “And I'm telling you to shut up, bitch!” Dean quipped back harshly, whipping his head back around to Ruby. “I'm sorry, why are you even a part of this conversation?!” Ruby huffed sarcastically, stepping forward, her arms crossed over her chest, “Oh, I don't know, maybe because he's my brother and she’s my girl, you black-eyed skank!” Dean retorted, standing his ground.

“Oh, right, right! You care about them so much. That's why you're checking out in a few months, leaving ‘em all alone?” That struck a nerve in Dean, his grip tightening on the Colt as Sam and Y/N gulped simultaneously. Their hearts thumping out of their chests. “Shut up…” Dean growled, shaking his head. “At least let me try and save them, since you won't be here to do it any more.”

That was it right there, “I said SHUT UP!” He fired a shot, only for Sam to push his hand upwards and away from Ruby screaming, “Dean, NO!” The brothers landed on the ground in front of Y/N’s feet, wrestling for the gun. “Knock it off! Both of you! Now damn it!” Y/N hollered as she crouched to rip them off of each other.

They both ignored her, however, too busy tussling to even heed her warning until she grew frustrated, using her power to forcefully rip Dean off of Sam. “I said, ENOUGH!!” She bellowed. Her body trembled as she pushed Dean back and Sam scuffled to his feet, letting out deep breaths to calm herself down.

Sam’s eyes darted behind her to see Ruby now gone from where she was standing, a solemn look on his face as Dean scoffed, looking at his little brother with disappointment. It was until their eyes focused on Y/N, both widening when they saw her nose beginning to bleed, her face scrunched in anger.

“Baby, you’re…” Dean trailed off as he took a small step forward, his eyes fixed on her face that was now stained with thick blood. “I’m what? Huh?” Y/N spat out, her face softening as soon as she realized what was wrong after tasting the warm metallic liquid that was dripping into her mouth from her top lip, now coating her teeth.

“Oh…” she mumbled, wiping some of the blood from her nose before it could get on her grey shirt. Sam and Dean both looked at each alarmed, watching in pure alarm as she wiped away the blood. She felt weak, her head began to throb from the sudden surge of power she had used to forcefully yank Dean off of Sam.

“C’mon, let’s get you bac—” Dean instructed immediately, approaching her with wide eyes to guide her back to the car before she could even let out a complaint. She protested anyway, “I’m fine, I swear—” She was cut off by Dean, who ignored her pleas and gently grabbed her shoulders, his grip a little too strong.

“No, you’re not. Shut up, let’s go.” He said firmly as he pulled her to their car, leaving Sam to stare around for Ruby in vain.

-

The trio walked into their shared motel room, Dean’s arm hooked around Y/N’s shoulder as he guided her in and switched on the light. She had old diner napkins stuffed up her nose from Dean’s glove compartment as a makeshift bandage. She still felt weak, gaining her strength back slowly but surely, “What the fuck were you thinking?” Dean chastised his little brother as he walked Y/N over to a bed.

He pushed her into the bed while Sam closed the door. “What?! What the hell was I thinking?” He exclaimed, offended, his voice going up an octave. “She's a demon, Sam. Period. All right? They want us dead, we want them dead.” Dean yelled as he turned to check the mini ice box they had stolen earlier, grabbing out a few ice cubes and placing them into a towel from his duffle.

“Oh, that's funny, I remember that demon chick in Ohio, Casey? You didn't want her dead.” Sam retorted, his concerned eyes flickering over to Y/N and back to Dean. “That was different! She wasn't stringing me along like a fish on a hook” Dean protested, walking back over to the bed where Y/N sat perched on the edge.

He knelt down in front of her, placing the towel of ice on the bridge of her nose as she sighed softly at the feeling. “Seriously, charming. I’m fi-“ Y/N tried to assure him once more but he cut her off. “Would you shut up? You’re not fine.” He chided, ignoring her eye roll as he focused on the task at hand. “No one's stringing me along!” Sam defended as Dean looked at him as though he was an idiot.

“Oh for Christ’s sake—“ Y/N groaned, handing Dean the towel with ice before standing up in front of him. “Look, I know it's dangerous, that she is dangerous. I don’t trust the bitch one second, but like it or not, she's useful.” Y/N backed Sam up, “You’re fuckin’ crazy!” Dean exclaimed in disbelief, his voice going up an octave as he looked at Y/N like she had lost her mind.

“No! We kill her before she kills us.” He snapped, his jaw clenching in frustration at the thought of even listening to Ruby as he pointed towards the door and then towards himself. “Kill her with what? The gun she fixed for us?” Sam mocked, narrowing his defiant eyes at his brother. “Whatever works.” Dean shot back with a shrug. Sam and Y/N sighed.

“Dean, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives.” Sam explained as though it was obvious. Dean rolled his eyes, turning away from them, going over to the sink and turning on the water. “Look, we have to start looking at the big picture Dean, start thinking in strategies and — and moves ahead.” Sam tried to reason with his brother as he cupped his hand to collect some water, splashing it on his face.

Dean blinked rapidly as he groaned lightly, a pain striking in his stomach as he got a bit light headed. “It's not so simple, we're not – we're not just hunting anymore. We're at fuckin’ war.” Y/N added as Dean turned off the water and looked at them in the mirror above the sink, grabbing a towel to dry off his face and turned back around to them. “Are you two feeling okay?”

The duo simultaneously side-eyed him, “Why are you always asking us that?” Sam groaned as he sat on the edge of his bed. Y/N stood a few feet away from him, her hands perched on her hips. “Because you're taking advice from a demon, for starters.” He pointed to Sam. “And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people.” He pointed between them two. “You know, it used to eat you up inside.”

“Yeah, and what has that gotten us?” Y/N shot back, crossing her arms over her chest as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. “Nothing, but it's just what you're supposed to do, okay?” Dean retorted, “We're supposed to drive in the fuckin’ car and fuckin’ argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that shit.” He pointed to Sam while rubbing his stomach uncomfortably.

“And then you get all soft and try to play peacemaker, you yell at us for being knuckleheads, call us morons and then we figure it out cuz you’re right all the fuckin’ time” He groaned as he pointed to Y/N, still rubbing his stomach from the sticking pain. Sam couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at this, “Wait, so – so you're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?” Sam chuckled.

Dean looked between his brother and girlfriend before exhaling, “No, I'm not mad, I'm— I'm— I'm worried, Sam—“ He stammered before moving over to the bed and settling on the edge. Y/N followed to suit, noticing he seemed to be in a bit of unexplained pain. “I'm worried because you guys are not acting like yourselves” He huffed as Y/N gently rubbed his back.

“Yeah, you're right, we’re not. We don't have a choice.” Y/N said gently as Sam nodded in agreement, “What is that supposed to mean?” Dean grunted, glancing over at her as he clutched his stomach. She swallowed thickly, clearing her throat as Sam looked down at his hands to stop tears from brimming in his eyes, unable to speak.

Y/N signed heavily before beginning, “Look, charming, you're leaving— right? And we gotta stay here in this shithole of a world. Alone. By ourselves. How the fuck are we gonna do that?” She shook her head, her voice small as she spoke. Dean felt an override of guilt rise in his chest, “The way I see it, if we’re gonna make it, if we’re gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I gotta change.” Sam added, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Into what?” Dean asked, his brows furrowing. “Into you. I gotta be more like you.” Sam stated firmly. Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he blinked rapidly as he tried to focus on what Sam was getting at but the pain in his stomach just worsened. His face tightened as he winced, hunching forward.

Y/N took notice of his mannerisms quickly, putting a hand on his shoulder again, “Are you all right?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing, “I-I’m fine” He huffed out, not wanting to seem weak in front of his brother. “You don’t look fine,” Sam pointed out, his voice laced with concern.

Y/N placed her hand on his forehead, “You’re sweating up a storm,” She mumbled. “I’m telling you, I’m fine.” Dean grunted, swatting her hand away from his forehead with an annoyed expression. “What’s going on with you???” Sam’s worry skyrocketed as Dean rocked back and forth, “I don’t know” Dean admitted with a wince. He gasped, hunching forward again sharply.

“Oh— guys something's wrong— bunch of knives inside of me—“ He grunted, gritting his teeth. “Dean?” Sam muttered, rushing over to kneel in front of his brother as Y/N tried to stop him from falling off the bed by his side, “Son of a bitch!” He groaned, shaking ferociously. “Babe, hey.” Y/N cooed lightly as placed her hands at the sides of his jaw and he looked around rapidly.

Dean just shook his head in response, unable to find his words as the pain kept surging at different places in his abdomen. “The coven man, it's gotta be the coven.” Dean groaned out, realization dawned on him. Sam and Y/N shared a panicked look as he darted up from his spot in front of Dean and Y/N stayed with him, the hunter writhing in pain.

“Okay, okay, don’t worry. Stay with him” Sam assured him, instructing Y/N firmly as he frantically started to search the room for a hex bag. She nodded kept a firm grip on him, letting him lean his head on her shoulder while she rubbed his back comfortingly. He grunted again as the pain worsened, “What the hell are you doing?” He grunted.

Sam pulled out a drawer and dumped out its contents, quickly throwing them to the side, “Uh, checking for hex bags” He spoke quickly, rifling through the motel desk drawers hurriedly. He began opening the cupboards below the sink looking for the hex bag as Dean yelled in pain, laying back back on the bed, his face still twisted in pain.

“Dean!” Y/N exclaimed, feeling helpless as she lunged forward to help him back up. “Sammy, hurry the FUCK UP!!” Y/N shouted over her shoulder, “I’m FUCKIN’ TRYING!” Sam yelled back as he pulled things out of the cupboard, throwing them aside. Dean leant forward again falling to his knees in front of the foot of the bed, spitting out blood, choking and sputtering.

“NO!!” Y/N grabbed him, now cradling him on the floor, the hunter spewing blood all over her top in a fetal position. Sam was still looking for the hex bag, in another cupboard pulling out pillows only to find nothing, he moved to the bed while Dean was still choking on blood and spitting it out of his mouth and onto a frantic Y/N.

Sam pulled off the covers to the bed, tearing back the sheets and sliced the mattress open with his knife and still couldn’t find the hex bag. “Guys, I can’t find it!” Sam panicked, his eyes landing on his brother growing weaker and weaker in Y/N’s arms. Their eyes connected, the psychic was close to breaking down as she cradled her love, shaking her head at Sam. “I don’t know what to do..” She cried.

“No.” Sam’s gaze hardened, marching over to his bag and rummaging through it. He retrieved the Colt and opened it to make sure there were bullets in it. “Sam, what are you doing?” Dean grunted out but Sam didn’t answer, his face filled with determination as he pushed himself to the door. “Sam?!” Y/N called out to him, “Stay here!!” He shouted back firmly before exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

"Son of a--!" Dean groaned, pushing himself off of Y/N's lap, using the foot of the bed to steady himself, as he stumbled into a standing position, "We've gotta go after him—" Only to fall flat on his ass again and into Y/N’s lap once more. “Stay down, you idiot!” She chided, her hands firmly on his shoulders, trying to hold him down as he huffed in frustration, “I’m fine!” he protested, even though he was in a lot of pain and covered in blood.

-

The Impala sped down a dark country road with Sam at the wheel, a look of determination on his face as he gripped the steering wheel in one hand and the Colt in his other.

-

Elizabeth, Renee and Tammi were around a coffee table in the Van Allen residence with the altar set up, chanting. “Kihér tolic echranmuk, madan fiéré, marc oh don duer kianave—” They were interrupted when Sam kicked in the door, the wood from the frame scattering around the entrance as the women scream out of fear getting up from the altar raising their hands in surrender.

A pissed off Sam Winchester entered the room with the Colt drawn at the women, “Oh my God!” Renee squealed, “Let him go.” Sam demanded gruffly. “Let who go? What are you doing? You're insane, get out!” Renee screamed confused as they all panicked. Sam was beyond pissed and fed up at this point, “Look, if you know about me, then you know about this gun.” He waved the Colt between them.

“You're killing my brother. Now let him go. Get away from the altar.” He instructed. “What?” Renee scoffed, “NOW!!” He bellowed, “Okay…okay...” They all moved away from the altar with their hands still up as Sam kept the Colt trained on them.

-

Back in their motel room, Y/N was still cradling a Dean in her arms, tears streaming down her face, watching helplessly as her love coughed and sputtered blood all over her. She couldn’t give a rat's ass about her shirt at this point. All of her focus was on him, and the fact that there was nothing she could do to help him. No matter how badly she wanted to heal him, she couldn't, she was completely and utterly useless to him and the realization made her feel even worse.

"It’s okay, baby," she whispered softly, her lower lip trembling as she gently pushed his sweaty hair back from his face. “You’re gonna be okay…you’re gonna be okay…” She whispered more for herself than for him, rocking him back and forth as she gently patted his back.

He groaned softly, his breaths uneven as he lifted a shaky hand bloody to cradle her cheek. His tear filled eyes pierced hers, a pained but still comforting smile gracing his face. "I'm okay, princess... I'm okay." He reassured her weakly. But they both knew he was lying, it only made her cry harder.

She cradled his head to her chest, her grip on him tightening as she closed her eyes tight, trying to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks which were now smeared with his blood. "You have to be okay, okay?" She whispered to him, a desperate tone in her voice as she continued to rock him gently. "I've got you…I’ve got you..." She comforted, gently running her fingers through his hair, her voice shaky as she kissed the top of his head lovingly.

His breathing started to slow, making her believe he was doing better. “There he is, there’s my guy..” Her words died in her throat when she saw his eyes flutter shut. “DEAN!” She cried out, her heart shattering in her chest. Her grief was cut short when she heard footsteps approaching the door, only for it to be kicked in harshly. The culprit was revealed to be Ruby. Dean’s eyes shot open as the sound of Y/N shouting his name and the door being kicked in.

“You wanna kill me? Get in line bitch.” He spat at Ruby. Ruby rolled her eyes and marched over to Dean. She pulled him up by the collar, tossing him on the bed. “What the fuck, you bitch?!” Y/N bellowed, pushing herself up to attack the demon. Only to be kicked hard in the stomach by Ruby, landing on the floor with a heavy grunt. She then leaned over Dean and forced his mouth open with her left hand.

Dean tried to push her away as she sprayed a dark brown liquid into his mouth from a bag at her side with her right hand while Dean still struggled under her hold. Ruby stood up as Dean chokes on the liquid and spits some back out. “Stop…calling me…bitch…” She breathed heavily as Y/N groaned, winching and clutching her stomach. She was sure she had broken a rib or two.

-

Back in the Van Allen residence, Sam was still aiming the gun at Elizabeth, Renee and Tammi. “Go.” He demanded gruffly, pointing to the fireplace. Elizabeth, Renee and Tammi move over in front of the fireplace with their hands still up in the air. “What— we— we weren't hurting anyone.” Elizabeth pleaded, “Please, we don't even know your brother.” Renee insisted.

“Stop the spell, or die. Five seconds.” Sam narrowed his dark eyes at them, his finger hovering over the trigger. “What?!” Renee squealed as the three women shook, staring down the barrel of the gun. Sam was deadly serious, cocking the gun and pointing it back at them. “Four.”

“No, please, please don't kill us!” Renee cried, “We were just getting Renee a lower mortgage rate!” Elizabeth chimed in, looking over to her friend to back her up. Renee nodded frantically as Sam’s face twisted with confusion because the women seemed sincere but still held the gun ready.

-

Back in the motel room, Ruby stood in front of the couple. Y/N was helping Dean wipe his mouth with a towel, he was still clutching his stomach but he stopped coughing up the blood. The pain gone physically but mentally, Dean could still feel the knives poking at him. “Next time you point that gun at me, I'm not gonna just disappear, understand?” Ruby warned Dean before tossing the gun at Y/N.

Y/N’s eyes flickered up to her, catching the gun in one hand while eyeing the demon. “You…saved my life..” Dean said surprised, Y/N mimicking his shocked expression as she finished up wiping his mouth. “Don’t mention it.” Ruby smirked, “What was that stuff?” Y/N asked, pointing to the bag. “God it was ass.” Dean muttered with a grimace, “It tasted like ass.”

“It's called witchcraft, kitten.” With that, Ruby turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her and leaving Dean and Y/N on the bed, the psychic grimacing in disgust at the nickname the demon seemed to like calling her.

"Witchcraft, my ass." Dean protested with a scoff, gently rubbing his stomach."Seriously that was the nastiest crap I’ve ever tasted.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the tension by using humor. Y/N however, wasn’t amused. Still gripping the side of her ribcage where the bruising had already started from Ruby’s kick, her mind still stuck on the fact that if she hadn’t stepped in, Dean would’ve been dead.

He would’ve gone to hell way before his time. Now that he was saved, she knew damn well when his true time came. She wouldn’t know how to handle it. She was already dreading it, still clinging onto the little hope of saving him but witnessing Dean’s suffocation in real time, she felt sick to her stomach imagining what could actually happen if he went. What was going to happen if those hellhounds can for him.

He noticed the way she was staring down at the worn carpet and her hand still wrapped around her injured side. His face softened, “Hey, I’m fine…” He reassured her gently, placing a hand on her knee. “Yeah…for now” She whispered as she nodded, still unable to meet his gaze, which only made him more worried.

He gently grabbed her chin, tilting her head up to look at him, “Princess, look at me.” He murmured. Her eyes finally met his ones as sadness and frustration filled her eyes. “I’m still here.” He said softly, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. “And what’s gonna happen when you’re not?” She croaked, her face creasing.

He sighed softly, his eyes full of guilt, he moved his hands to hold her face. “Hey, don’t think like that.” He told her gently, “C’mon. I’m still here right now, right? You can’t keep worrying about what if’s—“

“It’s not an ‘if’ anymore, Dean.” She shot back firmly, “Maybe we can’t save you, just maybe we won’t be able to get you out of that stupid fuckin’ deal, then what’re we gonna do? Just let you rot in hell?” Her voice broke. He winced, hearing the raw pain in her voice, he gently wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb.

“Don’t,” He told her firmly, “You can’t think like that. I’m not going anywhere, okay? You have to believe that.” He tried to convince her as he wiped her falling tears with his thumb. But he wasn’t convinced himself, “I dunno if I believe that anymore,” She sighed, shaking her head.

His face fell and his heart broke for her, he knew this was hard on her too. Maybe even harder on her than him. He pulled her closer, making her straddle his lap as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. He leaned up to press a kiss to her lips but she quickly pulled back, “No—“ She grimaced, “I love you, but I’m not kissing you when your mouth smells like ass” She gagged at the smell of the concoction Ruby squirted into his mouth.

He let out a strangled laugh, “Can’t argue with that” He chuckled, leaning his head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly as she buried her face in his neck.

-

Back in the Van Allen residence, “Okay, maybe it's not you—“ He shook slightly before turning the gun to Elizabeth. “—or you.” He points the gun at Renee this time, moving the gun again. “Maybe it's you…” He accused, pointing the gun at Tammi who sobbed, upset and scared. Sam wasn’t buying it for one second, “I don't even know what he's talking about. What a–re you even talking about?” She stammered.

“I mean, all of you, everyone in your little coven, you've all had runs of good fortune.” Sam spat with disgust, his eyes still trained on Tammi. “Newsworthy good fortune. Except for you, Tammi…” He narrowed his eyes, “Now tell me, why is that? You didn't want anything for yourself? Or is it because you're already getting what you wanted – like these women's souls.”

Renee and Elizabeth’s eyes widened with pure fear, “I can't- I-I'm not- I-I-I don't…” Tammi faux-stammered again, her act falling when Sam didn’t let up. His dark eyes unconvinced. So she sighed and put her hands down, going from looking frightened to calm. Her eyes flashed over black, revealing that she was the demon Y/N and Ruby warned him about.

“Nice dick work, Magnum.” Tammi smirked darkly. The other two women gasped audibly, looking shocked as their jaws fell. “Let. My brother. Go.” Sam commanded, gritting his teeth. “What's wrong? Couldn't find my hex bag? Sorry, sweetheart, but your brother's lungs should be on the floor by now and poor little Y/N is probably crying over his bloody corpse.” Tammi said menacingly with a nasty smile.

Sam’s eyes held pure anger, his finger finally pulling the trigger to the Colt. But the bullet didn’t hit her, since Tammi lifted her hand, slowing it. The bullet lost its momentum, stopped and fell to the floor. Elizabeth and Renee gasped again as Sam’s face fell with shock. “You're in a lot of trouble, Sam.” The demon giggled before waving her arm.

Before he knew it, Sam was propelled across the room as an invisible force smacked into him. His body was slammed roughly into the wall with a loud impact. He groaned as he slammed against it, his head bashed against it. “Tammi, what's wrong with your eyes?” Elizabeth asked cautiously, tears streaming down her face. The demon turned to her with a bored expression, her eyes now reverting back to its host’s brown color while Sam struggled against the wall.

“Tammi, what are you doing?!” Renee demanded in her snooty tone, “Renee, shut your painted hole.” Tammi snapped, making Elizabeth cup her hand over her mouth in shock and Renee began shaking with anger. Her eyes bewildered, “What? I-I will— You can't— Not in my house, Tammi Benton!” Renee stupidly stood her ground.

The demon, annoyed, rolled her eyes before waving her right hand at Renee, resulting in the blonde’s head snapping to the right so far it almost turned completely backwards, killing her instantly. Her wide dead eyes connected with Elizabeth’s, her body falling to the floor as Elizabeth shrieked in terror, still covering her mouth.

The sounds of the bones in Renee’s neck cracking made Sam flinch on the wall, feeling sick to his stomach as he watched one of the housewives meet her demise due to her egotistical nature. “Look. You got me – let the girl go.” Sam pleaded through grunts, his jaw clenching. “Wait your turn, young man.” The demon snapped at him, now turning back to Elizabeth.

She whimpered, “Oh my god..” trembling as Tammi slowly stalked towards her, “Shh, Lizzie. It’s okay” The demon cooed with a menacing look in her eyes, “You’re not Tammi..” Elizabeth whimpered again as the demon brought her hand up to play with her brown locks. “No, but I'm wearing her meat. I had to break the ice with you girls somehow.” Tammi responded softly, but her tone held no comfort.

“You killed Renee.” Elizabeth cried, “Renee, Amanda ... That's what happens to witches who get voted off the island.” The demon smirked as she moved to walk around the altar table. “Who..are you?” Elizabeth shook as she asked, resulting in the demon lightly chuckling, “Funny story, actually.” She began, playing her hands behind her back and she recollected.

“You remember all those dark demonic forces you prayed to, when you swore your servitude? Just who did you think you were praying to?” She mocked as Sam fought against her hold she had on him but it was no use, “This-this isn't – it can't b—“ Elizabeth shook her head in denial, “What did you think it was? Make-believe? Positive thinking? The Secret?” The demon continued to taunt her as she stalked toward her once more.

“No, it was me. You sold yourself to me, you pig.” She cackled as Elizabeth gasped, looking at her with horror. “All I had to do was bring one good book to Book Club, and you ladies lined up to kiss my ass.” The demon smirked, “No, no, we didn't know—“ Elizabeth cried, shaking her head. “Oh, yes you did. You knew every step of the way, and now your ever-livin' souls are mine.”

Tammi then turned back to Sam, placing a finger up. “Comments? Questions?” Sam didn’t bother to answer her as another nasty smirk plastered across her lips before she now stalked toward him. “Hmm, Sammy Winchester, wow! Right here in our little town. You know, my friends and I, we've been looking for you and your friend” Sam rolled his eyes at her, scoffing.

“Why? Oh, right, 'cause we’re supposed to lead some piss poor demon army.” He shot back with sass and a bored expression, “No, not at all. You’re not our Messiah and Y/N is not our Saviour. We don't believe in you.” The demon spat with disgust. “But, there's a new leader rising in the West – a real leader. That's the horse to bet on, Sam, the one who's gonna tear this world apart.”

Sam glared at her as he continued to struggle in the hold, “Thing is, this demon? It doesn't like you guys very much. It doesn't want the competition.” Tammi then raised her hand, Sam slid up the wall, groaning, and was suspended against it, his feet leaving the ground. Which was pretty high considering he’s a fuckin’ giraffe, “Nothing personal, it's a P.R. thing, so, buh-bye.”

Tammi kept her hand raised, and Sam began to be crushed into the wall, paint and plaster cracking as he was pushed harder into the solid barrier. Her eyes flickered over to Elizabeth, who stood there watching, frozen in fear and the front door to the house slams open. Dean and Y/N run in with their shotguns drawn, only for Tammi to turn around and wave her hand in their direction.

Easily throwing them over the sofa. The two stumbled to their feet, only to get pinned to the wall behind them, side by side. “Three for one. Lovely.” Tammi smirked, eyeing the trio. “Great fuckin’ idea, Dean. Run in, guns blazing.” Y/N spat angrily at her boyfriend as she grunted due to the force crushing her chest.

“Shut up” Dean grumbled back at her, “Oh yeah, cause sitting back and waiting would’ve clearly been much better” He responded with sarcasm, grunting when Tammi pushed him more into the wall. “Hey! Save the squabbling for couples therapy in hell” The demon snapped, her hand still raised in their direction.

“How ‘bout you go suck a fat one?” Dean retorted with sass, ignoring the pressure on his chest as he sent her a mocking smirk. Y/N was fighting a grin from forming on her face, not wanting to encourage Dean’s smart-ass behaviors but finding the fact that he’s still got it in him to be a total ass during near death situations to be adorable while Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance on his side of the wall.

Tammi raised her palm, sending the three higher up on the wall as they grunted and groaned. “Wait!” A voice said suddenly, revealing to be Ruby. The blonde demon walked into the house with her hands raised in surrender, resulting in Tammi’s head snapping towards her. Surprised filled her eyes as she allowed her hand to fall to her side, but the hunters remained plastered to the wall.

“Please. I just ... came to talk.” Ruby pleaded, putting her hands down. “You made it out of the gate. Impressive. That was a bitch of a fight, wasn't it?” Tammi scoffed, “Doors out of Hell only open for so long.” Ruby retorted dryly, “What do you want, Ruby?” Tammi snapped, “I've been lost without you….” Ruby said in a sultry tone as she advanced slowly towards Tammi.

“…take me back. That's why I led the Winchesters and L/N here.” She smirked darkly as she glanced over to them, seeing Dean and Y/N’s faces contort with anger. The couple’s gazes darted over to Sam, mouthing harsh, ‘Told you so.’ To him. The younger Winchester looked betrayed, hurt at the fact that Ruby wasn’t going to help them. While Y/N too was suffering with that pain but she masked it over with anger directed towards the treacherous demon.

“They're for you ... as a gift.” Ruby practically moaned as she spoke to Tammi. “Really?” Tammi asked with a dark smirk, “Let me serve you again. I've wanted it – I've wanted you – for so long.” Ruby confirmed in a soft breathy tone as she bit her lip, now moving forward to stand face to face with Tammi. Dean and Y/N lifted their eyebrows at the hot-demon-chick on hot-demon-chick flirtation. The psychic tilting her head as the hunter made a, ‘Goddamn’ face.

Sam, however, wanted to puke on the spot.

“You were one of my best.” Tammi sighed. Ruby smiled softly, pretending to lean forward to kiss her but instead, she whipped out her knife in an attempt to stab Tammi, only for her to catch it midair. A nasty snarl leaving her lips, “But then again, you always were a lying whore.” The knife was thrown sideways out of their hands across the wood floor when Tammi flicked their hands to the side.

The demons immediately began to brawl with Ruby kneeing Tammi a few times in her midsection. Sending a couple of right hooks across her face but Tammi recuperated almost immediately. Head butting Ruby harshly. The two grunted in pain as the three hunters, still against the wall, watching anxiously. Flicking every so often. They weren’t even sure if Ruby was on their side at this point, her acting was a bit too good.

Tammi clapped back with a few right hooks of her own, kneeing Ruby in her stomach before kicking her into her face and sending her straight into a TV on the table. Sparks erupted from the cord behind her. But she got up and kicked Tammi in her stomach, attempting to run past her, however Tammi clotheslined Ruby causing her to fall flat on her back. Tammi then pulled Ruby up by her collar and threw her into a bookcase, the demon bleeding from her nose and mouth profusely.

Tammi then got a fireplace poker from the stand on the hearth, looking at Elizabeth who was still cowering from her, before she stalked back over to Ruby with the poker in her hand. “You're really telling me you threw in your chips with Abbott, Costello and Aubert here?” Tammi mocked the panting demon as she stood above her, looking over at the three hunters with disgust.

Ruby, panting, tried to get up but Tammi hit her across the face with the fireplace poker. Elizabeth took her chance when she realized they weren’t paying attention to her anymore, ran to the altar and dumped a bunch of pins out of a bow onto the cloth with the demonic symbol on it. Elizabeth was unseen by Tammi, who was still paying attention to Ruby.

“Come on. Get up.” Tammi continued to taunt Ruby when she didn’t move, blood still running down her nose and mouth, “I said, get up!” She shouted again before tossing the poker aside with a bored expression and crouching over Ruby, grabbing her by the jacket and pulling her up. “We've been here before, haven't we?” Tammi chuckled as she glanced over to Sam. “She didn't tell you?”

Sam looked confused as Tammi turned back to Ruby, “Pretty mortifying, I guess. She was one of mine. I turned her out a long, long time ago. Ruby here was a witch. Of course, that was when you were human.” She revealed as Ruby’s head drooped, so she grasped it, reeling it back further as she winced and grumbled. Dean, Sam and Y/N all looked surprised even though they were still both pinned to their respective walls.

Tammi then threw Ruby back down onto the debris of the bookcase she crashed through roughly and stood up, “Tsk, didn’t want your friends to know that all those centuries back, you sold yourself to me? Embarrassing, I guess.” She taunted as Ruby looked up at her with utter distaste, “But don't worry love, no secrets where you're heading remember?”

Tammi began chanting and black smoke rose out of Ruby’s mouth curling and hovering inches above her mouth as she tried to fight the exorcism. “Monyé valack forsa, ulu iri regatt ruac, fieesh nieesh forthsa lé inmist infirum forthsa por un betest a té un fornalles ecclaisee—” Suddenly, she began to cough due to Elizabeth chanting under her breath at the altar in an attempt to kill the demon.

As Tammi coughed harder, her power faltering. That resulted in Dean and Y/N dropping from the wall, both falling forward. Sam also fell from the wall and dropped to the floor as Tammi brought her hand up to her mouth. She coughed up a handful of long pins into her hand, her mouth bleeding in the process. She looked at the pins confused for a second before she remembered that she allowed Elizabeth to live.

With an angry growl, she lifted her right hand and clenched it into a fist. Elizabeth’s breath catches, bones crushing loudly as her chanting stopp. Her eyes went wide as she brought her hand up to clutch her chest before her heart stopped and she fell onto the altar, dead with her eyes still open.

Y/N used the distraction to her advantage, grasping up Ruby’s discarded knife from the ground before pouncing on Tammi. She grappled her from behind, wrapping her arm around her throat before driving the knife into her back, stabbing her repeatedly as she struggled against her grip. Tammi died as well as the demon that was inside of her, her body going weak in Y/N’s hands.

She allowed the corpse to slump down, falling to the floor, the knife still in her back. Y/N breathed heavily as her eyes glanced over her shoulder to Sam and Dean, the elder Winchester helping his little brother up to his feet. The Winchesters padded over to her, moving a bit sluggish due to their shared injuries. They stopped in front of Ruby, who had pushed herself up from the ground.

“Go.” She instructed the three, slightly embarrassed as she wiped the blood away from her mouth. “I'll clean up this mess.” She assured them. The three nodded and Y/N wrapped her arms around both of the brothers shoulders, helping each other on their way out. “Wait” Dean grunted, stopping them so he could reach down and pick up their shotguns from earlier.

The trio all look back at Ruby one more time. She turned her eyes black and glared at them harshly, “Go.” She snapped in an authoritative tone. They all walk out the door as Ruby leaned over Tammi’s body, taking her knife out of her back and holding it up. The knife was covered in blood, and smoking as Ruby breathed heavily.

____________________________________________

After the events, they went back to their motel room. Dean and Y/N were getting dinner for them while Sam stayed back. He was now splashing his face with water, panting as he looked in the mirror above the sink with a worried expression etched on his face.

-

Meanwhile, outside, Dean and Y/N were walking back with their food in their hands. Suddenly, the lights outside began to flicker and the two stopped in their tracks, instinctively going for their guns with their free hands as they looked around. No one was in sight but they scanned the place once more with their eyes, landing on Ruby, who was standing there in the shadows of the hotel parking lot with her arms crossed over her.

“Not this bitch again.” Y/N muttered in annoyance to herself, putting her gun away along with Dean. “So the devil may care after all, is that what I'm supposed to believe?” Dean said to Ruby across the lot. “I don't believe in the devil.” Ruby shot back as she stepped out of the shadows, stalking toward them. They did the same, now stopping in front of her. “Wacky night.” Y/N commented.

“So let me get this straight, you were human once, you died, you went to hell, you became a…” Dean’s curious words trailed off as Y/N gulped, glancing over to her boyfriend nervously. “Yeah.” Ruby answered matter-of-factly, turning to leave. But even Y/N was curious, “How long ago?” The psychic asked, causing the demon to stop in her tracks. “Back when the plague was big.” Ruby answered, her back still to them.

“So all of 'em – every damn demon – they were all human once?” Dean asked, his brows furrowing. “Every one I've ever met.” Ruby answered as she turned to face them. “Well, they sure don't act like it.” Y/N scoffed, “Most of them have forgotten what it means…..or even that they were. That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is – forgetting what you are.”

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat, a lump growing as Dean rolled his eyes. “Philosophy lesson from a demon. I'll pass, thanks.” He snarked, making Y/N shake her head as she swallowed thickly. “It's not philosophy. It's not a metaphor. There's a real fire in the pit. Agonies you can't even imagine.” Ruby assured him. Dean tried to mask his fear as Y/N’s gaze dropped to the floor, clenching her jaw harshly.

“No, I saw "Hellraiser". I get the gist.” He retorted. Ruby rolled her eyes and turned to start walking away. “Actually, they got that pretty close. Except for all the custom leather.” Dean looked thoughtful, pondering a question in his mind. The same question on Y/N’s mind, the thought eating away at them. Ruby had an inkling of what they wanted to ask so she stopped her departure, and turned back to them.

“The answer is yes, by the way.” She said, “Sorry?” Y/N asked with a raised brow, feigning confusion along with Dean. “Yes, the same thing will happen to you.” She told them. The two blinked rapidly, hating the fact that it was true. “It might take centuries…but sooner or later Hell will burn away your humanity. Every Hell-bound soul…every one…turns into something else. Turns you into us. So yeah….yeah, you can count on it.”

Dean glanced down at the floor, now realizing something. He was sure of it but he couldn’t ask it in front of Y/N, not wanting to break her heart or her spirit. So he turned to Y/N. “Sweetheart, will you take these inside?” He asked her gently, handing her the food in her free hand, her other hand holding up the drinks. Y/N’s face fell, “Wha—”

“Please?” He pleaded and gave her his best puppy dog eyes, adding that little pouty lip she always fell head over heels for, knowing it would make her not fight back. Sure, she was stubborn but she couldn’t always resist his charming side.

She let out a heavy sigh and hesitantly took the food from him. Once it was out of his hands, he nodded with a small smile. “Thanks.” Y/N nodded, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips, still looking confused before turning and walking toward the motel room door.

Dean pressed a kiss to his fingers, blowing it in her direction as she threw one last glance at the two before shoving the key from her pocket into the motel room door. Once she was inside, Dean’s face fell back to expressionless as he turned to Ruby. The demon had a knowing look on her face and let out a small smirk. “Spit it out then. I know you’ve got a question on your tongue.”

“There's no way of saving me from the Pit, is there?” He asked with a knowing look, scared to find out the answer. “No.” Ruby confirmed with her sigh. Her face remained emotionless, and his face fell as he stepped dangerously towards the demon with an angry expression. “Then why’d you tell Sam and Y/N that you could?” Ruby shrugged before saying, “So he would talk to me. You Winchesters and L/N can be pretty bigoted. I needed something to help him get past the—”

“The demon thing? It's pretty hard to get past.” Dean interrupted with a dry scoff as Ruby chuckled humorlessly, “Look at you. Tryin' to be all stoic. My god, it's heartbreaking.” She snorted as Dean rolled his eyes, “Why are you telling me all this?” He demanded, “I need you and Y/N to help me.” She answered, “Help with what?” Dean’s brows creased as he narrowed his eyes at her, “With Sam.” She stated matter-of-factly.

Dean sighed, shaking his head. “The way your girlfriend stuck that demon tonight – it was pretty tough. I know you’re like that too. Now, Sam's almost there, but not quite. You two need to help me get him ready – for life without you. To fight this war on their own.” He didn’t answer, his jaw clenching so harshly you’d swear the corners were turning white.

Ruby turned to walk away again. “Ruby!” He called out to her harshly and she paused. “Why do you want us to win?” He asked. Ruby turned back around to face him again. “Isn't it obvious? I'm not like them. I don't know why. I – I wish I was, but ... I'm not. I remember what it's like.” She stammered, as she looked down thoughtfully. “What what's like?” Dean blinked as he asked once more,

“Being human.” She answered simply as she looked back up at him. It was now Dean’s turn to look down, lost in his thoughts for a few seconds, and when he looked up Ruby had disappeared leaving Dean alone in the parking lot.

____________________________________________

Author’s Note: This was sooooo long overdue and for that I apologize but I hope everyone is doing well! Thank you for always supporting me and this weird ass book. Be sure to tell me what you loved and what you hated <3

What was your favorite scene? I’d love to hear!

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