#betty is just like No. you are Trash<3 but then she sings her a moving dyke rendition of you shine and im going crazy from it. Girls!

[wiremotherenergy]

Ask me about season2 Beronica..... she was real right there......

[peterprkrsbtch]

sapphire - part 2

Peter Parker x reader

A/n: Part 1 is up on my page! There’s a couple flashbacks in this one so I put the dates before so it doesn’t get confusing. If you enjoy this one, like or reblog to share! I already wrote part 3 and it’s my favorite one yet so that’ll def be up soon :)

tag- @juliannaamonroe​

Warnings: swearing, make out, violence

(September 1)

We’re one minute away. Come out hoe!

You smile as you read the text, glancing at yourself in the mirror again, nerves and excitement ablaze in your stomach. You’d been planning for this day since last winter, and now it was finally here. You adjust your carefully styled hair and double check that the natural makeup you applied was sitting on your skin correctly.

Of course it was. That goddamn injection sometimes made you feel like a vampire out of twilight and sometimes you still got surprised when you saw your own face while passing a mirror or a particularly reflective window. You smooth down the ruffles of your short black skirt and tug the top of your tank top down so a bit more of your curves show.

You put on your white sneakers and tug your shirt back up to cover your chest again. We’ll have to work up to that, I guess. A long honk sounds from outside your apartment building and you curse as you scramble to grab your backpack and phone before running down and out the front steps.

“Awwww,” You say sweetly at the sight of the two girls who had become your best friends. “That’s the shirt you were wearing when we met, Ally.” You jokingly brush away a tear, pretending to be ultra touched.

“Best damn day of my life.” Ally says from her spot in the drivers seat, laughing at your dramatics. She may be joking around, but her sentiment makes your heart clench. This year really was going to be different.

***

(July 3)

You quickly realized you needed to find some Midtown friends if your plan for senior year was going to work. If you dared to show up looking, well, like you do, completely alone and friendless, you might become even more of an outcast than you were before. The first month of summer had been the least lonely time of your year so far, thanks to a certain Spiderman.

The two of you spent most of your nights together, flying through the city, fighting crime together, and talking. The “slow” nights that used to fill you with boredom quickly became your favorite when he was involved. The sound of his laugh and the jokes he makes during fights quickly became the highlight of your days.

But you couldn’t let yourself get too distracted by him. After all, neither of you knew what the other looked like. The only other boy you’d ever found remotely cute (other than celebrities) was nerdy Peter Parker from your high school. He wasn’t your usual type and he seemed to be just as shy as you were, so you had little (zero) hope that it would ever lead to anything more than a smile during the hallway if you accidentally made eye contact.

Sorry Spiderman, but no way in hell are you gonna make me lose my focus. The loneliness you had felt through the last three years of high school was too much. Your plan had to work. So that night as the two of you patrolled together, you softly mentioned that you were going to a pool party tomorrow and wouldn’t be able to meet.

He seemed a bit disappointed, but you brushed it off, trying to remember the names of the girls at your school who seemed nice. Peter, however, couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that you had told him where you would be tomorrow. There was only so many pool parties in a city like New York.

You tried not to think about who was under the Spiderman mask out of respect and, to be honest, it seemed like a pointless endeavor. Peter was not the same. No matter how tired he was from patrol, he always had time to lay awake before he fell asleep and picture what you would look like under the mask.

There wasn’t very many people who understood Peter’s secret life. None, actually, until you. Maybe that was why he was so intrigued by you, because you were so similar, but in his heart he knew that wasn’t it. He liked you. And he hated himself for it. But once you mentioned the pool party, he made sure to take one long last glance at the color of your hair before you two said goodbye. Just in case he happened to see that same hair tomorrow.

(July 4)

You were so, so nervous. Your closet of exclusively sweats and hoodies was trashed as Part 1 of your plan, much to your mother’s happiness. She had always been honest about her hatred of your junior year clothes and was extremely excited to purchase everything you needed. As distant as she was, you had to give her a little credit.

Although you’d been wearing the new clothes for the past month, this was the first time you were doing it so publicly. Your denim shorts exposed miles of smooth leg, and you’d decided to wear a red tube top in honor of the holiday-not to mention it really showed off your curves. You’d meticulously done your hair and makeup like you’d been practicing the past month and prayed that somebody would talk to you today.

You’d seen the flyer for the Fourth of July party on Instagram, which had been step 2. Unfortunately, you had two followers. Your mom and her boyfriend. Step 2 is a work in progress.

One long walk later, and you’re in front of the address. You swear you could explode of nerves right there, but instead you take a deep breath and force your legs to carry you inside the house and towards the people out by the pool.

Your eyes are so focused on your destination, the glass sliding door, that you barely notice when you bump shoulders with someone, causing you to drop your phone.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You say, reaching down to grab your phone.

“Oh my god, stop. That was totally my fault.” You stand back up to see the girl who was speaking, and you recognize her immediately. Her name is Ally, and she’s a part of the most popular group at school. Despite her long black hair and sweet smile, you haven’t heard many good things about her. Not the type of person you were looking for.

“Do you go to Midtown? I don’t think I’ve seen you around.” Ally says, making no move to walk away from the conversation.

“Yeah, actually. My name is Y/n?” You don’t miss the way her eyebrows raise and her eyes widen with confusion and shock. You’re embarrassed now, realizing maybe you weren’t as invisible as you’d thought. In an effort to explain away the last few years, “My dad left a couple years ago and it was pretty hard on me, but I’m all better now.” You flash the most dazzling smile you can manage and hope she accepts it.

“No way, mine did too!” She gasps as she grabs your hands. You feel a small pang of guilt at that. It was a lie, you had no idea who your dad was and frankly, you didn’t think your mom knew either.

The conversation starts to flow between you and Ally easily as you make your way out to the pool. “This is my best friend Betty.” Ally introduces you to the sweet-as-pie girl and the three of you quickly fall into a conversation like you’d known each other forever. A few of their guy friends tried to come up and talk to you, but she just waved them away. “Leave us alone, we just met our new best friend.”

You felt bad for judging Ally so harshly earlier, blindly trusting the stupid rumors you’d heard about her. Popular or not, the three of you got along better than any of the other friends you’d tried to make throughout your life. They do briefly make fun of your instagram before forcing you to take and post pictures with the two of them by the pool. They both tag your account.

Peter didn’t seem to share the good luck you did. He’d dragged Ned to 6 different pool parties across the city and saw no one who looked like Sapphire. Disappointed, he spent the night patrolling alone and dodging fireworks.

***

(September 1)

Since that day, you’d become a trio with Ally and Betty. The day after the pool party you’d woken up to nearly 1,000 followers on your instagram. Everyone from Midtown who never gave you a second look when you had your hood shoved over your head now wanted to be your friend.

The three of you spent the rest of your summer days together, and you fit into the popular friend group better than you could have imagined. Maybe you watched too many teen movies, but you expected them to be mean. The only mean one was Flash, and even he was basically harmless. You’d given up Saturday night patrols with Spiderman for a weekly girls night with your new best friends. You thought having new friends and a bustling social life would’ve made it easier to forget about Spiderman, but somehow he seeped into every area of your life.

That damn laugh. As Ally and Betty sing along to the radio loudly, you bite your lip to stop a dumb smile from rising to your lips. God, just thinking about him made you flustered. As Ally drives into the school parking lot, nerves bubble in your stomach.

As if you aren’t stressed enough, your brain decides this is the perfect moment to remind you of the one night this summer you and Spiderman haven’t talked about since.

*** (August 14)

The two of you were sprawled out on a gravel rooftop next to each other. Not the most comfortable of relaxing spots, but you’d both grown tired of flying around under the summer heat with no hint of trouble for miles.

“This sucks.” Spiderman huffs out.

“Rude.” You reply quickly, even though you know he isn’t talking about you.

“Oh, no,” He immediately sits up. “I didn’t mean you suck, I just meant, you know, because there’s not much going on right now and it’s hot and-” He sees your cheeky smile and stops himself with a laugh. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s cute.” You bite your lip. The fuck did I just say? Before you can begin to explain, he jumps to his feet.

“Spidey sense, let’s go!” You jump up too and follow after him as he jumps off the building. Thank god. I’ve never been so grateful that someone’s in trouble. The fight was tough, even with the both of you. These men had strange guns that keep firing at you and Spiderman even though you’d tried multiple times to crush them with your powers.

“The guns are magic-proof! I can’t destroy them!” You yell over to Spiderman as you take down one of the men in between punches.

Somehow, two men get ahold of their guns and corner you. Just as you start levitating to fly over them, a web shoots from somewhere behind them and the men and their guns are yanked away. Spiderman wastes no time and you swear he seems angry with the two men as he webs them to the wall next to their friends before picking up the guns and violently smashing them on the ground.

You’re still frozen in shock, watching him. When he seems to be satisfied with the broken pile of guns on the floor, he runs back over to you. “I’m so sorry, I know we promised-” You finally break out of whatever trance you were in to place a finger over his lips, casting a disgusted glance towards the men staring at you from their webbed cocoons.

“Not here.” You say quietly, and fly the two of you quickly up to the roof. He blinks for a second, his head spinning from the speed. You rarely use your full speed, especially with him, but you had to get out of there. “Okay, go ahead.” You say after a second of silence.

“I’m so sorry, I know we agreed not to get in each other’s way, and I know you can handle yourself, probably better than I can. Hold on, I didn’t mean I handle you. That sounded weird. Anyways, I just got so angry when I saw those men pointing their guns at you I had to-” He’s talking about the agreement you two had made when you first started working together. You both obviously were skilled, so you agreed that you wouldn’t interrupt each other’s fights unless asked.

“Spidey, I really don’t care you interrupted. It was hot.” JESUS CHRIST NOT AGAIN. You immediately winced and slap a hand over your mouth. “Oh my god I did NOT mean to say that I’m so sorry.”

Your rambling is cut off as Spiderman’s hand travels up to the bottom of his mask and you think your eyes might fall out of your head with how wide they become as he begins to pull it up, revealing the soft pale skin of his neck.

His jaw, chin, and then lips become visible as he lets the mask rest on his nose. The 0.5 seconds that have passed since you stopped talking feel like an eternity until he suddenly leans forward, crashing his lips into yours. Spiderman is an amazing kisser, you decide, as you gently kiss him back.

WHAT AM I DOING? Your mind is going haywire but instead of stopping, you deepen the kiss and nearly smile when he lets out a low moan. Everything you’ve told yourself about focus and distractions flies out the window when his gloved hands clutch your waist and pull you closer to him than you thought possible.

It feels like it’s only been a second when he pulls away, but your eyes flicker to his swollen lips and you know it must have been longer. You smile as you stare at his lips, only inches from yours, but as your gaze moves to the rest of his exposed skin the smile drops slowly.

Your rational mind comes back. It’s easy to forget when you’re with him that you’ve only known each other a couple months. How could you do this? Your first time making out with a boy, and he doesn’t even know your name.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whisper as he starts to say something.  “Sorry, what were you going to say?” He blinks slowly and takes a deep breath before stepping away from you.

“Nevermind. See you tomorrow.” And he swings away from you. You silently curse yourself for being such a big mouth, wanting to know what he would have said. You can’t help the small voice in the back of your head, telling you that you made the wrong decision.

You raise your hand to run your fingers along your tingling lips before flying home as fast as you can.

***

(September 1)

You wince at the painful memory before reminding yourself everything was back to normal the next day and neither of you mentioned it again. You still weren’t sure if that was good or bad. You force all thoughts of Spiderman out of your brain and even give Ally an encouraging cheer when she successfully parks on her first try.

You don’t remember Midtown having so many fucking students last year, but maybe it was because they were all staring at you. Any confidence you’d had as you opened Ally’s car door had disappeared as everyone around you turned to gawk. The bright smile you’d pasted on a second ago quickly fell and you glanced at Ally nervously.

“Come on, girls!” She says enthusiastically, grabbing an arm from you and Betty as she breaks the brief moment of awkward silence. God bless you Ally. As the three of you hoist your bags over your shoulders and make your way into the school, you mouth a quick thank you her way, hoping she can see your genuine appreciation. She smiles at you. “I’m happy we’re going into this year as three instead of two.”

Betty leans forward to smile at you. “Me too, y/n. I’m really happy you’re here.”  You smile back brightly. There really was no one as sweet as Betty.

“You won’t be so happy I’m here when I talk your ear off during class.” The three of you continue laughing and joking your way down the hall to stop at your lockers.

“Oh my god, is that Y/n?” Ned interrupts Peter’s latest ramble about his night with Sapphire. Usually, he really did listen. Ned was fully invested in the superhero love story, as he called it, unfolding. But the sight of a girl notorious for hiding in her own baggy clothes across the hall in a miniskirt and tank top was more important.

“Y/n?” Peter asks, confused why Ned wasn’t paying attention. But when he turned around to see what Ned was staring at, he understood. He’d seen you around school the past three years, but never like this.

You looked like a fucking model. And everyone in the hall couldn’t help but stare. “Holy shit.”

“Right, dude?” Ned breathes out, the two of them shamelessly staring. “Why didn’t that happen to me over summer? Oh my god, of course she’s friends with Betty.”

Peter laughs as his best friend goes on about “two pretty best friends” but he can’t take his eyes off of you. The light in your eyes as you joke with your friends, making them double over in laughter, feels strangely familiar. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking on his part because you’re extremely pretty.

He watches in surprise as you and Ally walk up to the AP Chem classroom, waving goodbye to Betty sadly as she heads off to English. You turn to walk into the classroom after Ally, but you pause and look back down the hallway-right at him. Instead of yelling at him for being a creep like he expected, you smile at him widely before heading into the class. He exhales deeply and glances down at his schedule quickly, a smile appearing. AP Chem.

Of course his thoughts are still consumed by Sapphire, but it was hard to ignore you especially after seeing his name on the seating chart next to yours in the back row. Plus, Sapphire was the one who’d shot him down after he finally tried to make a move after catching onto the hints he thought she’d been dropping.

He felt bad for thinking that about her, he didn’t blame her at all. He knew there was a million reasons they shouldn’t be together-and he didn’t want to know specifics on why he wasn’t good enough. Sapphire hadn’t brought up that night since, and he was fine to pretend it never happened.

You were already in your seat at the lab table, but Ally was still standing next to you waving her hands wildly as you two spoke. He doesn’t want to interrupt so he freezes in place, unsure of whether or not to go sit down. He’d thought you were cute, and a little shy like him in freshman and sophomore year and he remembered the many times he would look at you from across the room like he is now.

His eyes had been quick to find you whenever you two were in the same room ever since the first day of school freshman year when you smiled at him in the hall. Even last year, when all he saw of you was a curled up lump at your desk or a sliver of hair peeking out from behind your hood he still noticed you.

Luckily for him, the bell rings and he slides into his seat just as the teacher begins speaking. “Hi, Peter.” You lean over to him, your shoulders nearly touching, and whisper so the teacher doesn’t hear. “I’m y/n.” You smile warmly as his cheeks and ears turn light pink.

“You don’t have to introduce yourself. We’ve gone to school together since we were 6?” Now it’s your turn to be embarrassed and you purse your lips together.

“No, I know, just-” Peter notices you seem a bit frustrated as you glance around the room and then lean even closer to him. “Everybody thinks I’m new.” You nervously mess with your bracelet.

“You do look a bit different.” He points out and you raise your eyebrows before sighing slowly and shrugging.

“I was just sick of feeling invisible, you know. Not because I care what anyone here thinks. Last year was just, really, really lonely.” Peter watches you intently as you speak, hanging onto your every word.

Your confession made him sad. If only he’d been brave enough to ask if you were okay. You pause for a second and meet his eyes. Any other guy in this school would’ve laughed at you by now. You gesture to your outfit and nervously adjust your skirt. “I’m also not a superficial person. It wasn’t about changing how I looked, I just needed the confidence to put myself out there.” You pause and nod towards Ally with a smile. Peter glances over to Ally and sees her blow you a kiss, which you catch across the room with a giggle.

I miss you! She mouths with a dramatic frown and this time Peter laughs quietly with you. “I thought she was a bitch before I met her.” He looks at you with surprise to find you smiling at him. “But,” you hold up a finger for dramatic effect, “because I put myself out there, I met my best friends. A lot of people around here judge on appearances. I’m not like that anymore.” You say with confidence.

“That’s really cool of you.” Peter whispers back, and the sound sends an involuntary shiver down your spine. He’s so close to you and the feelings you thought you left behind two years ago don’t seem so left behind as you stare into his warm eyes. “For the record, I’d be your friend no matter what you look like.”

Peter has only been this nervous a couple times before in his life, and he can’t help but feel like he’s betraying Sapphire with the way he’s thinking about you. He watches as you smile warmly at his words and extend your hand towards his.

“Friends? Even though I'm so much uglier now?” You pout your bottom lip out, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. He nearly laughs out loud and has to remind himself you’re still in class. “I know guys go wild for the homeless man sweatpants look.” You’re both trying to hold back your laughter, shaking silently in the back of the class as he raises his hand and grabs yours.

“Friends.” Peter isn’t sure why he keeps going, but he does. “And just so you know, you were never ugly. I don’t know why you tried so hard to hide yourself last year, but even then,” the words leaving his mouth sound confident but Peter takes a deep breath before looking up from his lap to meet your eyes. Your wide eyes and surprised smile give him just the confidence he needs to finish. “You could never be ugly.” Peter can hear his heart beating.

You blink at him. This boy could not be real. Here he was, basically implying that the one thing you had wanted all along, for somebody to notice you, was true. Not only was it true, but it was Peter fucking Parker telling you this. Despite everything that had changed you in the past year, the giddy feeling in your bones brought you back to sophomore year and pining over Peter.

“Really?” Your smile spreads and he seems to let out a deep breath of relief.

“Yeah.” He smiles back at you until your sweet moment is interrupted by a fat ass syllabus dropping onto the lab table in front of you.

“Fuck,” you whisper. “This class is gonna be so much homework.” You turn the page so Peter can briefly see the list of projects alone, and it’s enough to make him cringe.

Something about the way the whispers travel back and forth between you all class makes you realize you hadn’t fallen into a friendship this easily, even with Ally. Even with Spiderman, your brain points out.

A red and blue suit swings into your mind and you are hit with a wave of guilt. Not two hours ago I was thinking about my make out with Spiderman, and now I’m comparing him to Peter? 

You have all but one class together, and you can’t help but glance in Peter’s direction any chance you get. The only time you don’t see him is at lunch, even though you look all around the lunch room for him or the boy he’d been standing with this morning. You thought it would be too creepy to ask him where he’d been.

Finally, the last bell of the day rang, and you were sure if you didn’t have superpowers you would’ve been exhausted. School is kinda draining when you actually acknowledge people. Ally and Betty share your complaints about being tired on your drive home, all three of you agreeing you need naps. You kiss them both on the cheek and wave goodbye before heading up to your room.

Forget what I said about having superpowers. I’m fucking tired. You lay down on your bed, groaning into the pillow at the thought of having to patrol tonight. You sat up abruptly. You’d never dreaded patrol, it was always the thing you looked forward to. You glance towards the suit in your closet and sigh.

It’s not patrol I’m nervous about. It’s him. You feel incredibly guilty about today. I’m not a two timer. If I want to like Peter, I have to talk to Spiderman about that kiss first. You start to make your way over to the closet before another wave of exhaustion hits, sending you straight back to your bed.

After a nap. Then we’ll talk.

[slowpocalypsecooking]

the top 8 tracks on folklore from least to most embarrassing to enjoy

Hi I’m Anthony Fantano and welcome to the needle drop. I don’t know if he says that, because I don’t watch him—if I wanted to listen to a repulsive white man talk about music, I could just go on a date. (just kidding, covid!)

Forgoing any further introduction, here are the top eight tracks from Taylor Swift’s new album, low-caps “folklore,” ranked from least embarrassing to most embarrassing to enjoy, according to me. The whole album is 16 tracks long, but I’m only doing the most noteworthy half because 16 is too many. You’re welcome for that decision.

Methodology: To get on this list, songs had to be both embarrassing and enjoyable. There will be natural fluctuation between tracks, but as we go down the list, assume that the songs are getting increasingly better to listen to and worse to think about, like this:

The rankings:

8. cardigan

This is a song about feeling at times like an unloved trash bag, as we all do, and then being warmly reminded that you matter because you are in fact someone’s fallback. The hook goes:

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said i was your favorite.

Beyond reveling in this pathetic status, this song serves as an admission that the speaker a. uses the word “cardigan” and b. thinks of those bland, preppy sweaters as a comforting thing to wear. In a cooler universe, this song would be called “flannel.” It is just okay to listen to.

7. mad woman

This song has big Ophelia vibes, big Handmaid’s Tale vibes, big “daughter of the witches you couldn’t burn” vibes. One of the verses contains the line “and women like hunting witches too,” because, hey, woman-on-woman misogyny is bad, didn’t you know. Strong reminder that if being called crazy is the worst form of oppression you’ve experienced, you still have it pretty good. Sometimes sounds decent, sometimes too croony.

6. invisible string

This one uses a pretty lazy, commonplace device: She opens couplets within verses by just naming colors, and uses these to create a simple repetitive structure for introducing random, useless details:

green was the color of the grass where i used to read at centennial park i used to think i would meet somebody there teal was the color of your shirt when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop you used to work at to make a little money

Sure this device is tired, but that’s only the surface of what’s embarrassing here. More embarrassing is the image I’ve conjured of a teal-shirted teenage boy smiling through his braces behind the toppings station at one of those blindingly lit American-kawaii froyo stores. I don’t know who needs to hear this but don’t fuck the froyo boy. Song is pretty catchy.

5. illicit affairs

Title says it all here: This song is about how thrilling and fun and ultimately horrible it is to be involved in a romantic situation you’re not supposed to be in, and how that forbidden sheen can get you totally enthralled with a crappy garbage man. Not a whole lot going on below the surface. This song is both very enjoyable and very embarrassing because it is very relatable.

4. seven

We are back to the aggressive levels of white woman previously seen in “mad woman,” only the case has gotten much more severe. Here’s this song’s final chorus:

Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won’t tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Pack your dolls and a sweater We'll move to India forever Passed down like folk songs Our love lasts so long

Okay let’s just skate past the part where a presumed adult is telling a fellow adult (I sure hope!) to bring their dolls when they run away together. That in itself is too big a can of worms to crack open. What I want to talk about is the line “We’ll move to India forever,” which pretty obviously uses an Orientalist fantasy of India as some nebulous, ethereal image of the East. Real people don’t live there; it’s the exotic dreamland where sweet-tea drinking southern belles bring their adult toys when they elope. This song is very catchy.

3. betty

Let me start by saying that now that we’re in the top three, all of the remaining songs are vying for the #1 slot. I could very easily see this and the next as the  Most Embarrassing to Enjoy. But “betty” is clocking in at number three today.

This is a song about a teenage romance gone bad, in which a speaker named James (who is “only seventeen, I don’t know anything”) has cheated on a girlfriend (Betty) and is now considering showing up at her party, begging for forgiveness, and hoping for a kiss in the garden. We get the backstory in the bridge:

I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up like A figment of my worst intentions She said "James, get in, let's drive" Those days turned into nights Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

First of all, “figment” of “intentions” is not really a phrase? But secondly, and more importantly: Excited bloggers all over the internet have posted a smattering of theories detailing why this song is Taylor Swift’s coded revelation that she actually maybe fucks girls, too, y’know, and hey, maybe the object of this song is the supermodel Karlie Kloss, whose middle name is Elizabeth. Apparently Taylor Swift is named after James Taylor, so she could be James, or at the very least James could be a woman. I’m going to allow for the possibility that the speaker “James” is a woman, because why not; it does not change the narrative. But said narrative doesn’t make sense: who is this woman pulling up next to James and picking them up on the cobblestone? Did James really spend all summer with her, and if so, why? James is only seventeen by the time they get back to ask Betty’s forgiveness, so like, where the hell are James’s parents? Do they not care that their child has gone off for the whole summer with a person I can only picture as a cheetah-print-and-goggles-wearing divorcee driving a convertible?

Furthermore, the Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift fan theories are gross for the simple reason that these two tall skinny white women look pretty much exactly the same. What is it with the internet’s obsession with wanting practically identical people to hook up? There might be an incest thing going on there that you guys could stand to reflect on. And on the more cynical conspiracy-theorizing side, couldn’t this just be some convenient queerbaiting? Didn’t Taylor Swift get criticized for appropriating gay rhetoric and imagery for “You Need to Calm Down,” like, 20 minutes ago? If she were going to come out, wouldn’t it have been an ideal moment to do so when she was under fire for that? I’m not saying all celebrities are shallow opportunists, but, you know, maybe.

This song is infectious. You will need to lobotomize me to get it out of my head.

2. exile

I know I originally said this was gonna be number one but I lied. It is pretty rough, though. This track features Bon Iver, and it’s not the high-pitched sad boy of “Skinny Love” renown. This Bon Iver is deep-voiced and country, like Bon Iver playing Tim McGraw in an uncomfortable SNL parody. Also, the whole song is centered around the tired and overused metaphor that a person is a place, and the person the speaker is pining after is home, and the speaker is in exile because they can’t go home to the person they love. It’s a heartache-ballad, cry-sing in your car, absolute jam.

1. the last great american dynasty

I really tried not to let this be number one. I really didn’t want it to be, which is precisely why it is. This was the track that first alerted me to the entire album’s release, because Ed Markey supporters on Twitter seized on it and decided it was about the downfall of the Kennedy family. It is not. The opening verse goes:

Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, it was sunny Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name and money And the town said, "How did a middle-class divorcée do it?" The wedding was charming, if a little gauche There's only so far new money goes They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House"

This is very obviously about a real couple, Rebekah and William (Bill) Hale Harkness, who had a real mansion in Rhode Island that they called “Holiday House.” The Harkness name is on basically every building in Connecticut and a lot of the Northeast because Stephen Harkness, Bill Hale Harkness’s great uncle, was a founder of Standard Oil along with John D. Rockefeller. In 2013, Taylor Swift bought the property known as “Holiday House,” as she says in the song:

Fifty years is a long time Holiday House sat quietly on that beach Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits And then it was bought by me

The cool, fun, left-ish internet reading of this song is that it’s a revolutionary tale about toppling class hierarchy—getting a hold of wealth and bringing the institution that created it to its knees by… “fill[ing] the pool with champagne”? How much would that amount of champagne even cost? This is not a song about revolution. Taylor Swift didn’t storm into the Standard Oil house and burn it down or take it over; she bought it. It is not a song about destabilizing the ruling class. It’s a song about joining it.

It absolutely fucking slaps, unfortunately.

[riverdalelovee]

I thought I would post my Fic on here as well. 😊 The Girl Next Door Summary: 18 year old Jughead Jones is a straight 'A' over-achiever who feels that he has never really lived life to the fullest. That is, until he meets the girl next door. Notes: This will be based off of the movie called "The Girl Next Door". I will be taking dialogue directly from the script of it but also adding in a lot of my own stuff and leaving stuff out. In this AU, Jughead is 18 years old and Betty is 20. Sorry for any errors, and thank you to @wheninriverdale for editing for me, you're the best. This is my first Fic so I'm a little scared. If there is enough people interested, I'll start on chapter 2. I hope you enjoy. :) Chapter 1 "How do you just skip class every day and go to the beach?" Jughead asked Archie as he watched Riverdale's football team and cheerleaders, the River Vixens, exit out the glass doors leading out to the parking lot of Riverdale High. "Because they just don't care. Let’s go with them. Seriously, let’s just do it." Archie exclaimed. Jughead stopped suddenly causing Archie to slam into his back. "Why?" Jughead and Archie may have been best friends, but they also had very different interests. One of them being sports and another being the people they chose to hang out with when they weren't with each other. "We never do anything Jug. I mean, we're graduating. We should be going nuts right now. Let's just do something." “I am doing something Archie; I'm going to class" Archie grabbed Jughead's arm before he could cross the threshold to his next class. "You already got into Yale Jug, come on." Jughead yanked his arm away from Archie and proceeded to take his usual seat by the window in the back of the class. He watched out the window as Archie slapped the shoulder of one of his football team mates, Reggie, before hopping into the back of the pickup truck. Jughead rolled his eyes and took his science text book out of his book bag that was slouched on the floor and threw it on his desk hard enough to turn a few heads in the rows in front. _______________________________________ "Oh, hi honey. You’re home early" Jughead's mom, Gladys, said while she sat at the kitchen table with his father, Fred Andrews and Mary Andrews. Jughead and Archie's parents have been close friends since before they were born, throwing Jughead and Archie into each other's lives as a result. They instantly became best friends and have been inseparable as far back as they could remember. "Yea, I postponed working on the Blue and Gold. I gotta work on my speech. Hey Mr. and Mrs. Andrews." Jughead said while kicking his shoes off and sliding his book bag off his shoulder. "Hey Jug. Congratulations on Yale." Fred Andrews said lifting his coffee mug in Jughead's direction, giving him a nod and a smile. "What's the speech you're working on?" "Oh, it's for this scholarship I need to get so I can actually go to Yale. It's pretty expensive." Jughead explained while rubbing the back of his neck and darting his eyes to the floor. The mood shifted in the room. Jughead's family was not well off, but had enough to get by. This was pretty well known in their small town, where everyone knew each other's business, but it never caused people to look down on their family and Jughead was grateful for that. "What kind of scholarship is it? What do they give it for?" Fred asked Jughead, trying to bring the mood back to something more positive. "It's for the student who best demonstrates moral fiber." Jughead explained, lifting his head. "Oh, I'm sure you'll get it Jughead." Mary Andrews said smiling at Jughead. "Thanks Mary, I mean I hope so. There's some stiff competition and they only pick one of us so I'll just have to blow them away with my speech." Jughead excused himself and headed up the stairs to work on the speech. Jughead sat at his desk in his room with his feet resting on his bed that was covered in flannel sheets. His desk lamp and the full moon outside were the only light source to inhabit his space. He shuffled through his now worn out index cards that contained bits and pieces of the speech he had been working on tirelessly for the past 3 months. Giving this speech at the scholarship award ceremony would be the most important moment of his life and he knew he had to put everything he had into each word. He grabbed a fresh index card from the pile sitting on his desk and started writing himself a list. 1. MAKE EYE CONTACT 2. BE CHARMING 3. JFK QUOTE! "Jughead, could you please take out the trash for me honey" Gladys called from the bottom of the stairs. Jughead closed his eyes tight and scooped up his cards. "Yea sure mom, be right down." Jughead grabbed the bag of garbage by the front door and swung it over his shoulder. He walked towards the end of the driveway, while reciting parts of his speech under his breath. "John F. Kennedy once said..." Jughead stopped dead in tracks, feeling his stomach tighten instantly at the sight in front of him. A baby blue Volkswagen beetle was parked on the street in front of his next door neighbor’s house, the Lodge’s. The trunk was open and the most beautiful golden hair he had ever laid eyes on was rummaging inside. His eyes trailed down her bare shoulders and slender frame to the black skirt that stopped just below the most perfect curves. Her long legs were almost glowing in the moonlight. Jughead swallowed hard and could feel the bag start to slip out of his now sweaty palm. He started moving towards the garbage bin at the end of the driveway, not taking his eyes off of her. She turned out of the trunk, bags in hand, and started towards the Lodge’s house. Jughead walked straight into the garbage bin, knocking it over, causing a loud crash to echo through the air. She looked over in his direction, but didn't startle, almost as if she knew he was watching her. A small smile crept at the corner of her mouth and Jughead quickly looked away feeling the heat rise through his entire body. She turned her attention back to the front door, closing it softly behind her. She was the most captivating woman Jughead had ever seen in his entire life. "Look, I don't know who she is." Jughead said to Archie over the phone as he paced back and forth in his bedroom. "I'm just saying that this girl was unbelievable. I mean she was like an angel. She had this smile...you should have seen it." "So did you bang her?" Archie asked Jughead. "Oh yeah Archie, I banged her." Jughead said sarcastically as he plopped down at his desk chair, looking up at the ceiling. "That's what a man does." Archie said, laughing a little too hard at his own joke. Archie was a lot more experienced than Jughead in the girl department and loved to remind him of this fact. "Yeah, okay Arch." Jughead said as he turned his head sideways to look out the window. "Oh my God." Jughead almost dropped the phone at the sight that was displayed in the window of the house next door. The mystery girl Jughead had seen earlier was sitting at a vanity brushing her wavy blonde hair. He could tell she was listening to music because her head was slightly moving in a rhythm and once in a while she would mouth words, singing along to whatever she was listening to, Jughead assumed. "What Jughead?" Archie asked "What happened?" "The girl next door, I can see her through my window. God, who is this girl?" "Be a man and go over there Jughead." Archie said. "Come on. Just introduce yourself." "Okay, and say what. You know I'm not good with this stuff." Jughead said to Archie, not taking his eyes off of her. "I don't know. Get off your ass and do something Jug!" Archie yelled at Jughead through the phone. "Oh my God." Jughead breathed in sharply. The girl moved out of her chair and with her back to the window, pulled her red tank top up over her head, throwing it to the side of the room. Her bare back was completely exposed causing Jughead's heart to race, and making him forget he was on the phone with Archie. She moved her hand to her waist and slid her black skirt slowly down over her hips, exposing the black thong she was wearing. Jughead clicked off the phone, ending the call with Archie. He knew he should look away, that this was wrong, but it was like his whole body had been paralyzed and he didn't have a choice. The phone rang and Jughead clicked the talk button, not taking his eyes off of her. All her heard on the other end was Archie's voice saying "Dude, what the fuck?" Before he quickly pressed the off button and threw the phone on his bed. Just as the girl stood up straight after kicking off her skirt, she turned her head and locked eyes with Jughead. Jughead hit the floor so hard he thought he had blacked out for a split second. He skidded across the floor and put his back up against the wall underneath the window. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Jughead said out loud to himself while digging both of his hands deep into his hair, knocking his beanie off his head. He slowly lifted his head over the window sill. The light was off in the room and she seemed to be gone. Just as he began to relax back down to the floor, a figure caught his eye coming towards his house. It was her. A split second later the doorbell rang and his heart was in his throat. "Jughead!" Jughead's father's voice rang through the house causing him to jump. He couldn't believe this was happening. She probably told his parents he was watching her, he thought. "Jughead, come down here." His father's voice rang from the bottom of the stairs again. Jughead rubbed his face and grabbed his beanie off the floor, shoving it hard over his head. He made his was slowly down the first few stairs and stopped half way down when he saw the girl standing between his mother and father. "What are you doing up there?" Jughead's father asked. "Come down here." Jughead hesitantly walked down the rest of the stairs and came to a stop in front of the girl and his parents. She was even more beautiful up close. She had her hair up in a loose ponytail, wearing a yellow t-shirt and grey sweat pants. Jughead rubbed his hands together while looking anywhere but at the girl standing in front of him. His heart was racing again. She hadn't taken her eyes off of him since he had emerged from his bedroom. "Jughead, this is Betty."

[tea-and-cardigans]

OTP Questions Part 3 - 500 Followers - All Requested Fills.

Hi Readers.

This post is collecting all the filled prompts requested from the important OTP questions, posted with my announcements and thanks for reaching 500 followers.

There is a keep reading break after the prompt “Which one is super ticklish” for mobile readers.

Let me know if you enjoy reading these fills as I am thinking about doing something similar for over the hiatus period, and just want to make sure people are still enjoying these.

Now to get back to my one shots.

Who talks smack while playing video games?

“Betts, we need to talk.” He said as he entered her bedroom, his voice had that soft intonation to it a tell tale sign that he was going to tell her something she likely did not want to hear.“Nothing good ever came from that sentence.” She said putting away her book onto her night stand and looking at him expectedly. He took a deep breath before sitting on the edge of her bed. “It’s about what you said the other night.” She looked at him confused, her eyes searching his for what he might be talking about. Her mind racing through the things that she had told him last night, she had said she loved him but they had told each other that so many times that she had lost count. “I don’t know what I’ve said.”

“It’s the trash talk Betty, it’s getting pretty personal, Archie said he doesn’t want to play with us anymore.”

“Why because I called him a baby for missing the easiest shot in existence?”

“I think it may have been the string of expletives after that that he took exception to.” She rolled her eyes in response. “And what you then said about his music.”

“Fine we won’t play with him any more.” She shrugged moving to pick up her book again. “Don’t need people on our team anyway who can’t handle a little criticism.” She huffed. He loved that she was passionate in everything that she did. That there was no room for compromise when it came to performance. But when she was playing she was brutal, he was sure he could see the beginnings of tears in Archie’s eyes after she had stripped him down in front of their other team mates. He had to fight back the laughter of her sitting in her perfectly pink and floral bedroom, in most likely one of her prim and proper sweaters, ponytail swinging from side to side as she shouted down the mic at Archie who didn’t know what had hit him.

Who would rock the boat while the other one screams at them to stop?

It was supposed to be a romantic row boat ride along sweet water river. Not exactly the most romantic spot since Jason’s body was found there but there was only one river in Riverdale and Betty had said she wanted to be wooed. So he had taken it upon himself with some helpful suggestions from Ronnie to organise the perfect first date. In amongst their sleuthing and investigating they had never actually had one and he was pretty sure that the trip to Jason’s abandoned car didn’t count. It had been about a week since his dad had been cleared and he had begged, yes begged, for Betty’s forgiveness. She had told him that she did not blame him and they swore to each other that there would be no more secrets between them, again. She was dressed in a yellow sun dress and was the very vision of everything that was good and pure in Riverdale. He couldn’t help but smile at her as he lifted the picnic basket Ronnie had packed and lent to him for the day. She had also convinced Reggie Mantle to lend them his boat, or rather his father’s small row boat. Cheryl had offered but Ronnie had politely declined given the history of that particular boat. He packed everything into the boat and she took her position at the stern of the boat relaxing and soaking up the sun. The way the rays were hitting her hair made him, want to call of the boat ride and just spend the day wrapped in each other arms by the bank, but he was on a mission. Once they were out in the middle of the water he stopped rowing and she smiled at him looking at him over her sunglasses.

“Do you know what I have always wanted to do?” She broke the silence and he looked at her, wondering what was going on in that head of hers. She gave him a mischievous grin before she put a hand on either side of the boat and swayed her body making the boat rock in the water. Jughead caught off guard at the movement grasped the side of the boat for dear life. She let out a laugh, feeling a sense of freedom wash over her as she gave it another rock, it was childish she knew it but this was something that Ms Perfect woudn’t do she would just sit there demure and peaceful. Jughead on the other hand felt nothing of the sort, he felt sick and was pretty sure if she didn’t stop soon he was going to be seeing his lunch make an unwelcome reappearance.

“Betts, please, stop.” He shouted. She froze mid action about to make another move, staring at him and the unusual pale colour he had turned. He took a couple of deep breaths and she moved to sit with him moving the boat again, and he made an unpleasant sound. She apologised for rocking the boat and took the oars rowing them gently to shore, while Jughead laid back, with his eyes closed willing the uneasy feeling to go away. As she helped him out of the boat and onto the shore, he swore this was the last time her would take romantic advice from Veronica Lodge. Which one hogs the blankets at night? or Big spoon/Little spoon?

He watched her wrapped up in her little private cocoon which consisted of their blanket and doona. He tried to gently tug the blanket back towards himself seeking some warmth and protection from the cold night. She huffed and he could swear she just gripped tighter. Sighing he went to the dresser and pulled out the back up blanket. He draped it over his body and started to drift off into sleep. Feeling a gentle tugging on his blanket he opened his eyes to see that Betty was trying to steal his new blanket. He moved his body to be able to enter her private cocoon, pressing himself against her back, his arms wrapping around her torso and nuzzled his face into her neck, breathing in her scent. She sighed happily in her sleep and seemed content now with the new source of heat, warming her body.

Which one is super ticklish?

She sets upon him immediately and he begs her to stop. She is relentless, ever since she found out his weakness she has been exploiting it. They had been in her room, taking advantage of a day off school with no Alice Cooper, no interruptions. Her hands were exploring her body as she lightly moved her finger tips under his shirt, gently brushing against the cool skin of his stomach when he let out a laugh, she stopped her movements and he seemed to be able to regain his composure urging her to continue. She moved her fingertips across up higher to his rib cage and he stifled another laugh with his hand. He apologised, all of a sudden feeling bashful.  She instead moved her hand away from his chest and gripped the back of his neck pulling him in for another kiss, pressing her body against his, eliminating any further laughter from their encounter.

Which one sings and which one dances?

He swings around the lounge the sound of her voice filling their small apartment. The small child in his arms laughs and squeals at his exaggerated movements. He dips her low before lifting her up in the air, another round of her laughter filling the room. Betty continues to sing, despite almost falling into a fit of giggles herself at the sight of the two of them in their pyjamas dancing along to her singing and the background music of the radio. He dips her head and she is giggling hysterically. He mouths the words, not wanting to ruin the song with his own tone deaf voice. She watches on from the kitchen her heart melting at the sight of her husband Jughead Jones dancing with their 2 year old daughter around the lounge while she sings along with the radio. Her daughter comes running over to her, before dragging her over to him insisting that it is her turn now, and he takes her hand in his own before pulling her close as they waltz in the small space, the only real dancing he knows, ingrained in him from their wedding as Evie continues to dance on her own around them, twirling and bowing with her teddy bear.

Who wakes up first?

After years and years of being up at the crack of dawn to study or run or practice a new cheer routine, she has never been able to sleep in. But she doesn’t leave the bed instead she props herself up on her elbow and watches the sleeping boy next to her. His beanie on the side table, even when he started sleeping over he would keep it on. Until he was finally able to let her in fully, share every part of himself as she had with him. She brushed his hair away from his forehead, freezing at his sharp intake of breath, before moving back when his deep breathing resumed. Sometimes she would let him sleep, she knew he needed it the peacefulness that it brought away from his normally chaotic life. Other times she could not contain her hands to herself and she would wake him gently from his sleep her hands moving softly over his body, down his bare back, up his arms, a soft kiss to his neck. He would welcome her soft body pressing close to his and wrap her in his arms.

Which one cries more during movies?

“Please don’t tell anyone.” He said sniffing, as she handed him a box of tissues.

“I think it’s sweet, your so sensitive.” She said reassuring, wrapping her arms around him.

“It’s stupid I know it’s stupid but it’s just.” The images on the screen continued to play, highlighting his face, eyes swollen and puffy, cheeks wet with tears.

“I know.” She ran her hand up his cheek, brushing away his tears.

“I mean.” He breathed deeply, thinking about the scene was about to set him off again. “It’s his dad, and he thinks it’s his fault, but it’s not.” He gave another loud sniff.

“The Lion King is going on the list isn’t it.” She got out her notebook and pen, flipping to a page and writing the title of the film they were watching.

“I mean what kind of person thinks this is okay for kids.” He choked out. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms tightly around him snuggling into his chest. They had started the ‘never again’ list after watching My Girl, that one had had him sobbing, after he had tried to hold back his tears, grasping her hand so tightly. She had warned him about this one and he had insisted that he could handle it, it was a kids cartoon after all. She put the notebook away again and pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t worry Juggie. Your secret is safe with me.”

Who would throw the other into a pool?

“Drop me right now, Forsythe!” She screamed at the top of her lungs,struggling against the strong arms holding her above the ground, her legs kicking furiously. Veronica was shouting at her own boyfriend, Archie who had also picked her up from the lounge chair she was relaxing on. It was spring break and the first time they had all caught up again after leaving for college, they were spending it at a quiet resort just outside of Florida. At the suggestion of hitting the pool Betty and Veronica had grimaced before agreeing that they could lay in the sunshine catching up on all the gossip since they had seen each other last. Jughead and Archie had tired of this quickly and had tried to convince their girlfriends to join them in the pool to no avail. It was then that Archie had come up with the suggestion of throwing them in with a mischievous glint in his eye which was soon shared by his best friend. The two girls continued to struggle as they came closer to the edge of the pool.

“Nope.” He answered back and she continued to struggle. There was a loud splash followed by a shriek as Veronica hit the water. Splashing Archie as he started to laugh at her from the edge. As he was nearing the edge of the pool he lost his footing completely as she tried one more last ditch effort to release herself from his arms, they both went crashing into the water, they both rose up, spluttering water, his dark locks fallen over his eyes as he tried to force them back away from his face. The daggers she threw at him soon subsided as she was splashed by Veronica who had swam over to the couple. Betty shot him a playful smile before splashing Veronica back and getting ready to splash him, as he beat her to it the water hitting her in the face.

Which one goes to bed first?

She goes in his office to say goodnight, kissing him on his cheek before she heads up to their bedroom. Inspiration has hit him and he grunts a goodnight as his fingers continue to fly over the keyboard, words streaming from his head directly tp the screen in front of him. She tries to hide the disappointment on her face as she leaves his office she knows how he gets when he is writing so focused and determined. She climbs into their bed looking over at the empty space where he would usually be and pulls the cover up to her chin wishing that she had his body heat next to her to snuggle into and keep her warm.

By the time he makes his way to bed, she is fast asleep, snoring no less, blankets wrapped around her keeping her warm, he gets into the bed himself gently trying not to disturb her as he gently tugs the doona to cover his own body as well as hers. She stirs at this and moves an arm to wrap around his torso as she shifts her body to be against his. He feels guilty for letting her go to sleep alone that night and promises her in his sleep that he will make it up to her tomorrow. Who whispers inappropriate things into the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

When the truth of Jason Blossom’s killer had been revealed he had moved back with his dad, and things were good. He was sitting now once again in the Cooper home, with his dad, Mama Cooper and Betty, smiling over at him from her seated position next to him. They had made up and made the most of their new found time together without the murder of their fellow student hanging over their heads. They had started exploring each other, during late night visits in her bedroom, the back of F.P’s pick up truck, anywhere they could catch a private moment. Alice announced to the table that it was time for dessert and FP offered to assist her with plates and such. Betty shot him a coy smile before she leaned over to him, resting her hand on his shoulder as she brought her lips to his ear, whispering gently.

“I’m not wearing any underwear.” He almost choked on his water, as she returned to her seat shrugging her shoulders and busied herself with her skirt while his eyes followed her actions, his mind racing.

“Peach pie for dessert.” Alice announced as she entered the room with FP trailing behind with the bowls and spoons. Jughead’s eyes darted from Alice back to Betty and finally his dad, seated opposite him giving him a look. He had never considered skipping dessert before, until now.

Which one is the junk food junkie and which one gets mad at the other for eating bad?

He can tell that she is frowning at him, even though he cannot see her face. The huffs and sighs are indication enough about her thoughts on his current diet. It hasn’t changed since he was a teenager, burgers, fries, milkshakes. Betty is currently on some God awful diet that she has been conned into by Veronica and had tried to recruit him for as well. She warned him that eventually his metabolism would not be able to keep up with him and he had responded that that was a problem for another day. Betty could only look jealously at his plate, before back to her salad.

“Go on.” He said. “I won’t tell Veronica.” Rolling her eyes she grabbed a fry from his plate and popped it in her mouth.

“You are such a bad influence, Jughead Jones.”

Which one rides the shopping cart out of the store?

“You have seriously never done it?” He asked her, his voice disbelieving.

“Do I look like someone who would do something like that?” She responded as if he had forgotten who her mother was. No way would she have let Betty Cooper ride the shopping cart out of the store.

“I suppose not.”

“But I am totally up for it.” She said her smile beaming. “I mean we are leaving tomorrow for college. Why not?” Her smile was contagious and he nodded his head eagerly. So they stood at the register, the shopping for their road trip loaded into the trolley. Giving each other conspiratorial looks, before giggling to themselves like a pair of mischievous children. The shopping attendant paid them no attention and Betty handed them her card paying for their supplies. They were now at the exit and she felt a wave of nervousness hit her. She could hear her mother’s voice in her head, it was not becoming of a lady, she could fall, she pushed that voice away as she felt his hand on her shoulder.

“Ready?” He asked and she nodded her head. She took a deep breath as she pulled back the shopping trolley and then pushed it forward sharply placing a foot on each side of the trolley just above the back wheels, holding on as the momentum pushed her and the trolley forward. She let out a loud laugh as she and the trolley flew towards the exit, Jughead was laughing too trailing behind her.

Which one gives the other one the silent treatment when they are angry with them?

“You have to talk to me.” He implored her, sitting next to her at the lunch table at school.

Silence, nothing. She hadn’t even acknowledged him when he had sat down next to her. Not his usual greeting, a smile and kiss to his cheek. It had become so much part of their routine that he had felt lost when she didn’t. They had had their first argument, and it was silly over an article for the Blue and Gold. He had written it and she had made some edits that he didn’t agree with. That was it, but now she was giving him the silent treatment. He hated it. He longed to have her talk to him, even just look his way, instead her full attention was on her salad, stabbing it aggressively with her fork. “Please Betts, I’m sorry.” The only sound he got from her was a ‘humph’ before she was again stabbing her fork with a new found passion. It was another day before she finally gave in her words exploding from her mouth, from the tension of not speaking to him for the few days. Even now he knew when he had really pissed her off as she would always retreat into herself rather that then spew hateful words from her mouth. Who kills the spiders?

“Get it Betty, get it!” He screamed from his position on the desk chair in the office of the Blue and Gold. He had first seen it when he had moved a box of old newspapers from when the school newspaper was in it’s prime, and everyone in the school was reading it. Betty had recruited him to try and bring back some of that magic from a time gone by and despite his concerns over the newspaper trying to change his voice he had agreed to help her. He wanted to help her, in truth he would do anything for Betty if she continued to look at him with those expectant eyes, wide with trust and hope. She had screamed herself when she first saw it as well, big, hairy, black. Jughead however had given a high pitched squeal before jumping on the nearest chair available teetering on top of it. She had looked at him with amusement as he urged her to take care of the problem. Betty now over the initial shock walked over to the desk picking up an empty cup and an old newspaper. As she walked over to it, Jughead warned her to be careful. She placed the cup over the spider, quickly sliding the newspaper underneath to safely capture the spider so that she could transport it to the open window. She calmly dropped it outside and returned to Jughead still cowering on top of chair. She held out her hand to help him down from the chair, as he returned to the ground somewhat embarrassed over his reaction.

Who worries about what they will look like when they are older?

‘Shit’ he thought to himself there was another one. He had found two the previous week and this was the third. A silver hair, clear as anything in amongst the dark waves surrounding it. He pulled it out, before running his hand through his hair searching for more. He felt her hands wrap around his waist pulling herself close to him. He thought about whether he should search for his beanie start wearing it again after all these years, hide it away. She looked at the worry in his eyes, confused, as she ran her hands through his dark locks.

“Did you find another one?” She asked guessing the reason for his concern.

“What if..” He started but before he could finish she urged him to turn around to face her, placing a hand on his cheek. She smiled sympathetically at him.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” She said, the sincerity clear in her voice. He pulled her in for a hug, burying his face in her neck. “Besides I think a little gray would look hot.” She joked, as he let out a sigh and returned to the mirror. Who is the most affectionate?

He needs to hold her, all the time, needs to show her how much she means to him. He doesn’t care about the looks from the others as her wraps his arm protectively around her. How he moves to nuzzle into her neck at their booth at Pop’s breathing in a scent that is deliciously Betty. After the arguments, the words he has thrown at her he needs to show her that he is sorry, that he needs her. After Homecoming he had been a mess, he had said words to her that he couldn’t take back no matter how much he wanted to. She had stuck there taking each one, each leaving their mark on her, each word making her press just a little bit harder into her palms, bite her lip a little bit deeper, the tears in her eyes rising to the surface. And all she said was sorry, all she wanted was his forgiveness. The stab of guilt he had felt when Archie and Veronica told him that she had nothing to do with their plan, that she had vowed never to speak to either of them ever again, made him feel sick. He would spend his life making things up to her with gentle kisses, hands clasped under tables, arms wrapped around her body as she slumbered. He would show her everyday, how sorry he was.

Most common argument?

“We are not having this argument again Betty.” He said from down the hall. It was the same every year around this time. She knew it was coming and that tension that it brought to the household.

“There is no argument Jug, we went to yours last year this years it’s mine.” She shouted back.

“But this is Evie’s first Christmas and I promised Dad.”

“You what?” She poked her head around the corner, giving him a disbelieving look. “Are you trying to guilt me now? Pulling the first Christmas card. Besides it’s her second Christmas.”

“She didn’t even know what was happening last year. This is her first ‘real’ one.” He reasoned.

“Nope we agreed last year we take turns. That way it is fair.”

“We could always try a joint one again?” He tried to compromise. Betty was not so keen to relive that particular experience. Suffice to say that Alice Cooper and Gladys Jones were not the best of friends at school and that seemed to have carried through to adulthood.

“Juggie, we agreed to take turns to save these arguments. This year we will have Christmas Lunch with the Coopers and then travel to Toledo to see yor parents on Boxing Day.” She had taken his hands in hers, her tone calm and soothing.

“Fine.” He said, giving in. “But on Evie’s birthday.” He started as Betty threw her arms up in surrender as he continued to follow her down the hallway.

  What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Betty loved Jughead’s hair. They way it felt under her fingertips as she would brush it away from his forehead as she moved in to kiss him. The way it felt as she ran her fingers through it as he pushed his body up against her own and she tugged just a little to spur him on. The way it would curl at the edges of his beanie, poking out from underneath it’s woolen prison. The first time he had removed that beanie from his head she knew that that hair that he hid from the rest of the world, that he had allowed her to see was her favourite part of him.

Jughead loved Betty’s hair. The way it would loosely hand around her face as he looked up at her, swearing that she was some kind of angel as the light bounced off her hair. The way it bounced in her trademark ponytail as she cheered and danced on the football field, as he watched proudly from the sidelines. He loved the way it would feel bunched in his hand as he lowered his lips to hers meeting in a passionate exchange of lips and tongues, feeling her rawness come to light. Most of all he loved the way it contrasted to his own dark locks, just as she did to him.

Nicknames? and if so, how did they originate?

 “You can play with us, if you have no one else to play with.” She stated simply and he looked up at the small girl, with bright green eyes and shiny blonde hair in pigtails. He shrugged his shoulders his typical non comital response. He was also shy, it had only been a week since they had moved here, back to his dad’s old home town. He was eight and unsure of most people. But something in the little girl’s smile was welcoming and as she stood there waiting with her hand outstretched to his. He decided that he would take it. She pulled him up with an exagerated movement pretending he was heavier than he was. A small boy with red hair came running up to them shouting excitedly that his dad was going to buy them icecreams at Pop’s after school. “Do you like icecream?” She asked him and he nodded enthusiastically. “You should ask if you can come with us, I love icecream, vanilla is my favourite.”

“Mine is chocolate.” Said her friend.

“I like all of them.” He admitted before looking down at his feet.

“Hey babies, what are you doing with that kid.” The girl crossed her arms as she heard an unwelcome voice heading their way.

“Go away Reggie.” She answered back.

“No way Betty. I want to say hello to Jughead here.”

“Huh.” She looked between the two confused.

“That’s what they call me.” He said softly. Not that it was any better than his normal name.

“Reggie don’t be so mean or I’ll tell them what I saw on our last school trip.” She threatened pulling herself up to meet the taller boy’s eyes.

“You don’t know anything, Betty.” He spat out her name.

“I know I saw you sitting at the back of the bus and Mrs Harris has to bring you a spare pair of pants when we got off.” She said finishing by raising her eyebrows in challenge, smiling to herself as he backed down and sulked away. Betty put her hands on her hips in triumph. As her friend Archie let out a giggle.

“Reggie pee’d his pants.” He managed to get out before he erupted into laughter clutching his sides.

“So what’s your real name?” She asked him.

“Really I think I prefer Jughead.” He admitted.

“Well I’m going to call you Juggie.” She decided, but looking at his face added. “If that’s okay?”

“Yeah but only you get to call me that.”

“Thanks, Juggie.” He liked the way she said his name, she had turned it from an insult into something familiar and kind.

“I need a nickname for you too.” He responded.

“I’m Betty, that’s already short enough.”

“What about Betts?” She seemed to think about this for a moment before nodding her head.

“Okay but only you get to call me that.” She put out her hand for a handshake and he eagerly gave her his hand. Archie meanwhile was wiping tears away from his eyes.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

 He misses her, he goes and sits in the booth at Pop’s, their booth. He gets his regular order and pulls out his laptop, opening his latest chapter of the novel of Riverdale and the murder of Jason Blossom. Betty had left earlier in the week for another Summer internship. She had at first told him that she was going to turn it down, that she would find something local in Riverdale so that she could be near Polly and the twins, her mum and him. But he had urged her to go, to not give up an opportunity like this and that he would help the Coopers as much as he could with the new arrivals. He had at times felt out of his depth but he enjoyed spending the time with the Cooper family, feeling like he was needed and that he belonged. Mama Cooper had even invited his dad over for another dinner to make up for the last one, which they had both been grateful for. He smiled as he saw an email pop up from Betty, she was doing well, currently Skyping with Polly and the twins, but she wanted to see him and asked whether he would be available that night. Jughead eagerly responded advising that he would.

Later that night he eagerly opened his laptop in his own room, in his dad’s home. It felt good to be back, and that his dad was making another go of things and seemed to be making it this time despite the set back of being wrongly arrested for murder. He couldn’t help but smile when she popped up on the screen, her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, glasses on, no make up. His eyes widened as he noticed what she was wearing, a loose t-shirt with an ‘S’ clearly printed on the front.

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

“Your turn.” She said as she returned from the nursery to their lounge. He could see the defeat on her face, they had been trying for the last 3 hours to get baby Evie to settle. They had tried rocking, a drive in the car, dancing awkwardly around the nursery, patting, shushing everything. He had taken a deep breath and walked back into the nursery, while he noticed Betty slouching in the chair, her head in her hands. It had been hard on her, the birth, then coming home and although Mama Cooper was helping through the day he was worried about the pressures that she may be placing on the new mum in addition to Betty’s own expectations to be the ‘perfect’ mum. He scooped Evie into his arms and moved to the rocking chair. At a loss for what to do next he started to sing, he knew his voice was horrible, Betty had told him before that he was tone deaf, but he had to try something they hadn’t. Evie noticed the sound of his voice and began to stare at him listening to the tone of his voice, as he sang the only thing he could think of. An ad that he had heard earlier on the radio on his way home from work. Eventually after repeating the song more times than he could keep track of she started to close her eyes. Betty who had been anxiously observing through the crack in the door breathed a sigh of relief as he placed the small infant back in her bassinet, resting a hand on her stomach as she stirred before slowly extracting his hand and army crawling out of the room. Betty offered her hand to help him stand before pulling him into her arms in an embrace, almost collapsing on him in exhaustion.

“You are a miracle worker.” She breathed into his neck, and he gripped her tighter. “Although I am seriously worried about our child’s taste in music.”

Which one says no to their kids or yes?

The kids had already worked out who was the one who would let them get away with murder, let them go to the cool parties and stay out late. And they knew it. He hated the phrase ‘Go ask your mother.” Growing up but was completely dependent on it now. He swore those two could get him to agree to anything, a bit like their mother in that way, a pout of the lips, the whine in their voices, eyes wide and pleading and that was it he was done for. They were in front of him now, pleading with him to let them go to a party with the boy next door. He had uttered the sentence and they had both gone away in a huff, knowing what their mum would say. However they returned to the lounge with victory plastered over their faces.

“Mum said yes.”

“She what?!” He asked, jumping up from his chair. Heading in the direction of the her office where he was sure the two giggling girls had just come from. “You said yes.”

“Yeah, they are old enough now.” She replied casually, while he ran a hand through his hair.

“There will be boys there, Betty, boys.” His voice straining at the end of his sentence. Given the reaction from his wife who simply shook her head at him while smiling to herself. It looked like their roles were about to change.

Favorite non-sexual activity?

She has decided that this is her favourite thing, wrapped up under a million blankets, her boyfriend snuggled in against her watching “It Happened One Night”. It was their regular movie night, Fridays, popcorn fresh from the microwave, no Alice Cooper keeping a not so covert eye on them. Even with the craziness of the hunt for Jason Blossom’s killer this was a constant a piece of normalcy in amongst the chaos of their current lives. It was one of her favourites and even he had raised an eyebrow when she suggested it. She had reasoned that it was a classic and she was in the mood for a love story. Jughead could see so much Betty in the main character, her strength, her stubbornness and drive to not just follow her family blindly. He loved to watch her while she was watching the movie, her smiles, her laugh and the enjoyment on her face as she watched the two characters on screen fall in love. It would be his turn next week and they would continue the tradition, passing it on eventually to their children, their Friday family movie night.

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

“Stay with me.” He says still laying in bed, blanket slung loosely over his hips, bare chest, hair messy from his night’s sleep and Betty can already feel her resolve starting to slip.

“I have to get up for classes.” She says, trying to convince him as much as herself.

“You’re too smart for classes. You don’t need them.” He flatters her. It is partly true, he is proud of his brainy girlfriend and admires her commitment to do well, but for now he has other things on his mind.

“Hmm I think you may have an alternative motive there.” She eyes him suspiciously, as she moves to pull her shoes on sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I just want you to come back to bed.”

She throws a look at him and he simply smirks back in response.“But you know if things lead to other things.”

[themarsupials]

100 Best Songs 2017, pt. 3

50. Slowdive – Star Roving

“The expansive dream-pop cut boasts layers of guitars drenched in reverb and chorus while a splashy and swift drum beat surges beneath. Neil Halstead and Rachel Goswell's dual vocals, meanwhile, simmer in between.”

  49. Broken Social Scene – Halfway Home

“A superconnected slab of feeling from de facto bandleader Kevin Drew, with too many guitar tracks to count”

 48. [Thee] Oh Sees – The Static God

““The Static God” isn’t just another case of Oh Sees doing their motorik-maniac act, but rather a last-blast rocket ride to parts unknown, its stratosphere-breaching velocity eventually cooled by a cloud-parting organ drone that hints at the more patiently paced music to come.”

  47. Kendrick Lamar – Humble

“With just two verses of lyrical invocation at his disposal, Kendrick makes the few hundred words feel like a manifesto. There’s absolutely no surprise at all that at the time of this writing, it’s the number one song people are looking up on Genius… [Lamar’s] cutting cadence paired with that insane piano riff, layers of booming percussion, and alarming synths all hit the sinister sweet spot and highlight his supernatural wordplay.”

  46. Vagabon – Minneapolis

“Her jitters mirrored in the raucous guitars behind her… in “Minneapolis,” she concludes that home is never an address but, rather, a mental state.”

  45. Fleet Foxes – Third of May / Odaigahara

“This track is greatly ambitious, featuring huge ensembles of marching drums, string sections, vocal harmonies and guitars. This instrumentation is made all the more interesting due to the band’s use of dynamics, which moves from loud, grand and soaring band sections to subtle and quiet folk instrumentation or even just solo vocals from Pecknold.”

 44. Jessie Ware – Midnight

“A song of two parts: a dreamlike intro, with a circular piano line that falls gently as like moonlight on a pond, and a neo-soul belter that dissolves into mist almost as soon as it arrives.”

  43. Downtown Boys – Somos Chulas (No Somos Pendejas)

“It is, by far, the band's most aggressive track yet, a relentless ripper.”

42. Clipping – The Deep

“A five-and-a-half minute rumbling epic “based on the underwater mythology of the 90s Detroit electro band Drexciya.” Endlessly entrancing, the song gradually builds pressure, with Daveed Digs at times evoking the likes of Ka, ScHoolboy Q, and even Andre 3000 as he goes.” 

  41. Fever Ray – To the Moon and Back

“Turns out every last second of anticipation for new Fever Ray was worthwhile… ’To The Moon and Back’ grows a ferocious pair of fangs, and hits the murky depths of a strobe-flickered basement instead. Fever Ray makes all its all-out kinkiness and explicitness sound, well, very tender.”

  40. Sheer Mag – Need To Feel Your Love

“Finds Niles Rodgers as much an inspiration on guitarist Kyle Sweeny as Angus Young while the band saunters and grooves over a feel-good summer jam.” 

 39. Mere Women – Eternally

“Looming over the flickering, guitar grind, the band’s rhythmic pulse — mathy precision, yet rarely trapped in predictable loops — palpitates with greater prominence; all anxious, always relentless.”

  38. St Vincent - Pills

“Busy without ever feeling overcrowded, the song grooves along in search of the remedy to what ails just about everybody, making for a playful dissection of the pharmaceutical industry’s saturation into everyday life.”

  37. Guerilla Toss – Betty Dreams of Green Men

“Roaring, rapid art-rock bliss; it stitches together lurching disco rhythms and giddy synth progressions, nodding to early ESG and even Grace Jones in its tropical hues.”

  36. Helado Negro – Come Be Me

“…Emotional struggle is rendered in the gauziest pastel tones, with silvery synths dripping over cool, dry handclaps, and guitars and drums swirled to a soft, creamy consistency.”

 35. Jay Som - Baybee

“On “Baybee,” the big-beat chorus encourages us to dance, but it doesn’t require it: “I’ll play a game or song/ If you don’t feel right.” That last line repeats as a refrain until we really hear its condition: “If you don’t feel right.””

 34. The War on Drugs – Holding On

“While comparative to any track in the band’s past release, feels different in overall tone. The track screams with a new lightness, reminiscent of an upbeat summer drive rather than a reflective summer night.”

  33. Wireheads – Technical Man

“…Approaches the trek through a single-minded four-bar riff, laced with snippets of burning-amp guitar solos, vocalist Dom Trimboli's rootsy rants about becoming one with the machines and the folly that ensues, and producer Johnson chiming in on backup vocals in his trademark baritone. Both work hard to toughen up the band's sound, creating the kind of tune you'd expect from the Pixies in their anything-can-happen early days.”

  32. Kelela – LMK

“Primed for the dance floor, “LMK” goes in hard with its stunning blend of R&B and hip hop production underlying Kelela’s smoking vocals. Standing strong for those ladies who flip the script on traditional ideas of settling down, “LMK” props up those nights out where long-term relationships aren’t being sought, but fun times definitely are.”

31. Horror My Friend - DIYS

“Opening with aggression similar to any track on Violent Soho’s ‘WACO’, frontman Tom Gordon steadily transitions his voice from an angsty drone to all-out vocal attack on the microphone. The sporadic and explosive twin vocal and guitar parts are face-melting, making it the perfect track to trash your limbs along and to annoying any sh*tty neighbours or work colleagues.”

  30. Oumou Sangare – Kamelemba

“Shines a bright light on what Mali has to offer… the gradual build up of the instrumentation has the ability to discreetly work its way through the system of each listener until they feel completely engulfed by the upbeat rhythm.”

 29. Feist – Pleasure

“A stark intimacy that can suggest Kate & Anna McGarrigle if they'd been big fans of the Young Marble Giants' post-punk bedroom mumblings or PJ Harvey's blues-wrath epistle To Bring You My Love. "It's my pleasure and your pleasure," Feist sings, her voice low, raw-nerved and right in your ear against dank, stressed-out guitar roil.”

  28. Cable Ties – The Producer

“McKechnie sings with almost operatic weight and fury that jackknifes into sudden razor-edged squeals, her lyrics slicing into some deeply toxic aspects of both the Australian psyche and the music industry.”

  27. Moses Sumney – Quarrell

“A voice [this] golden poses its own compositional challenge in how to craft music that’s equally as multifaceted, without overpowering that showcase instrument. On “Quarrel,” he finds yet another elegant solution, singing over a backdrop of dimly lit jazz that grows ever-grander as it introduces one indulgent accompanying element after another.”

26. Julia Jacklin – Eastwick

“The song finds Jacklin cooing over lonely echoing guitars as she bemoans the concepts presented by “reality” television. “You are not in a garden, you are in a store,” she sings as the track picks up steam, “a single stemmed rose reaching out for more.””