#better yet just let me buy the fucking franchise already cmon

[alethiometry]

thinkin about an alternate take on odyssey’s cult of kosmos storyline that may culminate in a blatant ripoff of valhalla but bear with me here lmao

instead of deimos continually antagonizing you the entire game as you try desperately to convince them that the cult is simply using them, deimos is actively trying to recruit you to fight alongside them. you are both demigods descended from sparta’s greatest hero, two sides of the same coin, etc. etc. as you go around killing cultists you get those cutscenes where each cultist gets to have one final say (just like all the other ac games) and while many joined and profited from the war for selfish reasons, there are enough of those who had lofty ideals that maybe you start to see that the two warring nations are both truly broken beyond repair. people are suffering because of the war, and for every callous profiteer that joined the cult to make a quick buck there’s also someone who joined just to survive, or because if you can’t beat em, join em -- at the least, they could then maybe stand a chance at protecting the people they love, even if it means others will have to pay that price. that’s just the way the world works, right?

and so after the battle of amphipolis and after killing the rest of the cult, you return to the cave of gaia in delphi and find not only deimos but also the ghost of kosmos down there, in front of the pyramid. deimos is still nursing his wounds from where kleon shot him, and the ghost finally unveils herself. both get their villain-y monologues about how it’s all for the greater good, everyone who died along the way was sacrificing themselves for a better world and the world will remember what they did -- but that will only happen if you join them. if you’re there to make sure they mattered. and the pyramid with its weird little artifacts still draws you in like it did that first night you infiltrated their meeting, and you and deimos and the ghost all touch it and you all get teleported via videogame magic or isu technology or whatever the fuck who cares it’s just a stupid scifi game let me live to...

atlantis?

it’s the exact same look and feel as the dlc: humans and gods living in (apparent) harmony, people are happy, families are together, there’s laughter and music and plenty of food and leisure. the buildings are gorgeous, there’s like fountains and gardens and aquariums and other cool shit, and if not for the weird isu tech all over the place you’d almost think it was elysium. but it’s not elysium, because you’re not dead. deimos isn’t dead. and you’ve never felt more at peace. the ghost tells you that this is all perfectly achievable, if only you join them in helping construct this world from the ashes of the old. deimos tells you that they’ve seen this in their dreams; the world was truly like this once, and it could be again.

there’s no war to be fought here; no pain or suffering or loss. deimos sheathes their sword and tells you that they cannot just go back to being family in the real world, not after everything that has happened and all the suffering you both have experienced -- out in the real world, you were both doomed to be nothing more than shattered bones and streaks of gore at the foot of sparta’s sacred mountain. you don’t matter out there, and you never did, and they know you are tired of trying to prove that you do, because they’re tired too. but in here, in this world, you could be together. you could be the siblings you never got the chance to be. this is what they were fighting for all along. they gave their name, and their life, and their innocence and their pain -- all to achieve this. and with your help they can finally stop calling themself deimos and reclaim their old name. or the two of you could find new names. you could be gods. you could slaughter the old gods, the ones whose prophecies doomed you both to die at the foot of mount taygetos (deimos still doesn’t know the cult orchestrated that lmao listen the brainwashing runs deep). you could be anyone you want here.

all of this feels so real. you feel like you could stay here forever.

deimos extends their hand. you reach out to take it. to join them.

and something tumbles out of your pouch.

it’s a little wooden eagle, a child’s toy, battered and all scratched up with most of its defining features worn away. you know it well. you know every contour of it because a little girl gave it to you when you left the island where you and she once lived, to go make a name for yourself in a war that never seemed to end, until suddenly it did. you know this toy eagle because you folded that little girl’s cold, dead, still-bloody fingers around it one terrible night in athens. you were told, later, that the eagle burned with her on the pyre your friends constructed for her. and so the only reason this eagle is here now, the only reason you can run your hands along its outstretched wings and trace the whorls of the woodgrain with your fingertips and feel the slight weight of it in your palm is because none of this is real.

what is real is this: the cult existed, and phoibe died. leonidas died. perikles died. brasidas died. and you cannot live in a world where the very act of dying for the world they didn’t know they were helping to shape is the one thing that becomes the defining feature of their legacies. where their lives become nothing more than some kind of grotesque buttressing to prop up the very people who got them all killed.

there’s some kind of bossfight against deimos, who, despite their appeals to you to join them as a battlefield companion and true siblings after too many years lost between you, still doesn’t hesitate to turn against you as they always have the moment things do not go their way. because that’s the way it is between the two of you: they push, and you push back.

and the more you fight, the more atlantis crumbles. the others don’t seem to notice; they simply sit there and laugh and sip wine and dance and sing as stone after stone falls from the vast turrets and crushes first their companions, then them, into blood and bone and gristle. there’s a gate up on the highest tower of the city, and you know instinctively that without it you’ll be stuck here in this strange dream-limbo, fighting your sibling for eternity as both worlds, dream and real, carry on with or without you. and as you make your way to it (maybe there’s some sweet parkour opportunities here with like falling debris and such) deimos gives chase and as you draw closer to the gate you start to see that it’s not empty at all, but full of people crowing in to take a peek at all the commotion.

there’s sokrates and hippokrates and aristophanes. alkibiades looking uncharacteristically worried, and [insert any npc lieutentants you’ve recruited like roxana or odessa]. xenia is there, and so is anthousa. kyra and/or thaletas, too (depending on the outcome of the mykonos questline). and a gang of plucky little kids, all cheering you on: khloe, the girl with the clay friends; arsenios, the tour-guide-turned-con-artist; ardos and his caretaker. (and i guess nikolaos and stentor if they’re still alive lmao) (maybe pythagoras is allowed too but he’s on thin fucking ice)

and, of course, myrrine. standing at the forefront, shoulder to shoulder with barnabas and herodotos. all three of them -- alongside everyone else you’ve ever allied with, fought beside, or helped out -- everyone who loves you, everyone you’ve ever loved -- they’re beckoning you home. back to the real world, where they matter. where you matter.

where you have always mattered.

you’re so close to taking your mother’s hand, you can feel the warmth of her fingertips -- and then you hear a scream below you.

it’s deimos, and they’re falling. maybe they tripped in their haste to catch you. maybe some of the falling rubble knocked them off-balance. it doesn’t matter. the only thing that matters is that your sibling is falling to their doom. again. and there’s nothing you can do about it.

except this time there definitely is.

so you leap from the ledge with all the strength you have, the roaring in your ears drowning out myrrine’s shouts. you’ve fallen from greater heights, after all, and lived to tell the tale. this is nothing. and this time you’ll catch your sibling, because this is your dream, too. and in your dream, you can do whatever the fuck you want.

you catch deimos, the both of you still falling, the ground rushing up to meet you -- and you both wake in the cave of gaia with a jolt. each of you still have a hand on the pyramid, and you make eye contact. they give you the slightest of nods, as if to say i’m okay. i’m awake.

the ghost is still asleep, head bowed, eyes flitting to and fro behind closed eyelids, both hands still on the pyramid.

you destroy the pyramid with your grandfather’s spear. this wakes the ghost. she’s furious, and tells you that you’ve made a terrible mistake. the cult of kosmos may be extinguished, but the ideals she worked toward are not. (basically this kind of mirrors the whole spiel about the philosopher-king or whatever tf the ghost said at the end of the actual in-game storyline that foreshadowed the order of ancients and eventually the templars)

deimos looks to you and mutters that it’s your choice what to do next. the ghost tries to appeal to them but they’ve run out of fucks to give. they leave.

[kill the ghost] what it says on the label. you get a nice little ac-esque assassination cutscene and it’s actually got some emotional weight to the decision/scene, unlike the game.

[walk away] leave the ghost in the cave. the pyramid is gone, the cult is dead, your sibling is free. the ghost will live the rest of her life looking over her shoulder, knowing that the grandchildren of leonidas have seen her for what she is. knowing that whatever she does next, they’ll be watching closely.

when you leave the cave, you see deimos, pacing as they overlook the view of phokis from mount parnassos. it’s high noon and the sun glints brilliantly off their gilded armor. they glance at the temple of apollo and remark how strange it is to be standing here together, so close to the place where both your fates were sealed with just a few words from a puppet pythia a lifetime ago.

you ask what they’re going to do, now that the cult is gone.

the peace of nicias isn’t going to hold, they tell you. the war will start again soon enough, and when that happens both athens and sparta will be looking for champions to fight for their side.

dialogue choices:

[i’ll see you on the battlefield] you and your sibling part ways. subsequent conquest battles have a chance of spawning a bossfight against deimos who is fighting for the other side -- neither of you can perma-kill the other so you can encounter/fight them over and over again. at the end of the conquest battle, no matter who wins, you can see them walking up and down the battlefield and you can have some silly little sibling banter, which changes depending on who wins/loses the battle

[join me, fight with me] deimos joins your crew just like in the game. unlike the game, you can interact with them at any time while they’re walking up and down your ship and have sibling banter because i just want some decent fucking sibling banter in this game

no matter which option you pick, the first time you return to sparta after finishing this storyline you’ll have the option of entering your old family home and triggering the family dinner cutscene with all the surviving members of your family because goddammit even after all this wishful revisionism i still love that silly little family dinner

anyway in conclusion this is what i want out of odyssey, thanks for coming to my TED talk, don’t forget to smash that like&subscribe the way the eagle bearer definitely smashed brasidas’ fine spartan ass offscreen bc ubisoft were too smoothbrained to give us the romance we deserved

[absolutelybifurious]

homecoming feelings inc (spoilers: most of them will look something like i love tony stark i LOVE tony stark i loVE TONY STARK I LOVE ad nauseum) 

peters video recording of civil war what an absolute babe

“thats not a hug im reaching for the door” (yeah right tony we all know you crave human contact)

why does peter know spanish?

peter taking time to pet the cat *_*

peter desperately looking for ways to help and giving that lady directions,,,, my son

“why did i mention the churro”

peter saving the cat and handing it back to the shop owner LIKE OH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD I LOVE HIM 

michelle doing situps with her book

no one will convince me flash doesnt have a massive gay crush on peter parker yall, i mean cmon?? HE MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM CLASSIC CRUSH SIGNS,,, hes legitimately obsessed with him, like i’m not kidding i can’t remember the specifics but several times i was like ok this is just kinda coded like hes into peter actually?

“you’re here too” “am i?” truly the best scene in the film michelle is a gift and zendaya is our glorious goddess who has bestowed this wonder on us

god the van scene, i immediately loved donald glover but that could be bc hes cute. but the thing is, this movie did such a Job of making peter immature. like i was continuously frustrated with him bc he was so markedly different and less mature than any of the other heroes. he screwed up again and again and again and the kidness of him was so well done. like it infuriated me half the time. but damn it was well done

TONY INSTALLED A HEATER IN PETERS SUIT

TONY WAS PAYING SO MUCH ATTENTION TO PETER THAT HE NOTICED WHEN THINGS WENT POORLY

TONY LISTENED TO THE PROBABLY HUNDREDS OF REPORTS PETER SENT AND REMEMBERS THE FUCKING CHURRO

tony wants to talk to peter about his college plans

tony stark is the best dad ever, and really in general he is the best person ever and no one will ever tell me that there is a person with a better heart in the MCU BECAUSE THERE IS FUCKING NOT 

TONY STARK IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF US WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM

poor ned :( “that hats not working” i was really mad at peter for the way he kept ditching all hsi real life friends

kinda glad vulture killed that guy what a disrespectful douche

“i thought that was the anti gravity gun” “wHAT NO” hmMmMmMm I LOVE

also he treats his other ppl with a lot of respect and later the ppl still think they can leave and like, thats cool

michelle noticing what peters quit already

i have a hot date with black widow later

that is false

another long one: i didnt super buy peters crush on liz. it felt really faked because he never really made choices for her, and i get that he was more into spiderman but i never felt the significance of the crush... i think that was played over a little bit too much

also i dont think ive been this impressed with a villain in the marvel franchise since loki. vulture was so compellingly realistic. i know they tried that shit with whats his face from civil war but he was so irrelevant i didnt care. vulture was relevant, scary, but also emotionally compelling

fucking taser web

you jumped off the sign and landed on your face

i love karen

i read a post about tony coding an AI thats emotionally encouraging and invested in peters life bc tony is invested in peters life and like iw ant to die

i just dont want to celebrate something built by slaves

THE GUARDS LIKE PREACH

michelle is a gift

“kiss her peter”

“thank you”

donald glover I HAVE A NEPHEW YEEEEEEEEEE BOY GIVE ME MILES I DESERVE IT

the whole interrogation scene was golden,,,, “NEVER DO THAT AGAIN KAREN” 

you’re a criminal!!! you deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!! bye!! criminal!! i love peter so much

TONY STARK CALLING TO TELL PETER WHAT A GOOD JOB HE DID IN DC TONY STARK BEING A SUPPORTIVE, GOOD PARENT AND WANTING TO MAKE SURE PETER KNOWS HE IS PAYING ATTENTION 

peter just keeps causing disaster after disaster 

that whole ferry scene had me cringing

but he tried so hard to help everyone!!

tonys anger after it was totally warranted. i dont blame him for taknig the suit. 

MY FAVORITE LINE: if you really cared you’d be here AND TONY MOTHERFUCKING STEPS OUT OF THE SUIT

and god rdj brings the fuCKING PAIN you can see how panicked he is how muc hhe doesnt want to hurt peter but how SCARED he is bc peter isnt listening to him and god!!! what if something happened to peter!! you can hear the self loathing and the pain that hes carrying from all the other movies all he wants to do is make sure nothing happens to peter or anyone else

tony listened to peter to try and stop the vulture, tony takes him seriously!!!!!!!!!!! tony is such a good dad and such a good person and HOLY SHIT!! TONY STARK!!!!!!!!!

hes hurting so much in that scene he doesnt wanna be like howard HE DROPPED EVERYTHING TO GO HELP PETER IM UNDONE

also look how well peter got back on track after he lost the suit

still ??? at the liz scene tho?? i just didnt feel that relationship much at all, there wasnt anything there

PLOT TWIST PLOT TWIST PLOT TWIST 

MMMM THATS SOME GOOOOOOD SHIT 

and once again vulture is incredibly compelling bc that brings a whole new context to why his face changed re: dc and why he didnt try to kill peter on the ferry

michelle doing the casual flip-off, god i love her so much??

holy shit peter in the wreckage, tom holland go off that acting tore my heart in half AND THEN HE REMEMEBRED TONY WORDS

CMON SPIDERMAN I AM SOBBING

FLASH ASKING DO YOU REALLY KNOW PETER PARKER HES IN LOVE

vultures desperation in this final scene is,,,wow, you fucking feel it, it makes sense. hes such a compelling villain.

peter saving vulture what a fucking babe

liz really is a sweet girl i wish i’d believed the crush more bc she deserves all the love

my friends call me mj YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS gimme that michelle/peter RN

michelle acting like she doesnt care and then THAT LOOK THAT LOOOOK OMG ZENDAYA KILLED ME HOW DID SHE CONVEY SO MUCH ACTUAL LOVE AND COMPASSION AND CRUSH 101 IN A 2 SECOND CLIP YALL

happy in the bathroom. goodbye to me.

can we talk about tony? being so ecstatic that peter did all this? tony saying thatw as the tough love moment you needed and being so convinced that it wasnt and so convinced by his own acting that he could never actulally ahve inspired anything like that so hes just going to blaze ahead and not even acknowledge that yes!! it was actually!!!!!!!! he was a great father figurei n that moment and in this whole movie 

but he doesn’t believe that so he’s just going to keep being sarcastic to cover up for the fact that he doesnt think any of this had almost anything to do with him and everthing to do with peter

bc he has no concept of his own self-worth and yet to contrast that he directly inflates it and is so used to ppl disregarding it and accusing him of having an ego that even in this moment when he does something really amazing he makes it about his fake-ass ego and doesn’t let anyone actually give him credit for anything bc he is too busy giving himself fake-credit that he uses as an excuse in every other scene to call himself a piece of shit,,, that other ppl use to call him that bc ppl cant see through it bc he doesnt actually WANT anyone looking too closely, and yet, in this scene, he seems to be using it to exempt peter from actually acknowledging what he did was good bc hahaha im a self-congratulatory egomaniac

anyway hahahaha i love tony stark

also he is sad, he wants peter to stay with him, but he lets it go bc he recognizes it was the mature choice (and probably not the one he’d ahve made) 

hes so proud of peter i want to die

PEPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE RING!!

they’re both so confused about happy and the ring i love it

PEPPER!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE BACK!!!!!!!!! THANK FUCKING JESUS BC IF SOMEONE DIDNT LOVE TONY STARK IN THIS DARK TIME THEN IW OULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO BREAK INTO THIS FICTIONAL REALM AND DO IT MYSELF

that little kiss was everything she lvoes him i love them

ugh

this movie was gr8 a++++

i love my son tony stark and his son peter parker and his future wife michelle