#bethany's bizarre miraculous rewrite

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Rewrite: What's in the Box?

So this is the contents of Master Fu's Box in this rewrite. Since there are only two Miraculous here, the guardians take in, protect, and utilize all sorts of magical items instead. A lot of these items are larger than mere accessories, but the box stays the same size. It's just non-euclidean. Bigger on the inside, you know.

Also real quick a definition of magic: Magic is a form of energy that is attracted to people's ambition and willpower. It can be pretty hard to attract magic at first, but thankfully there's magical items like the ones in the miracle boxes for that. So without further ado, here's what's inside Master Fu's Miracle Box, the Heavenly Miracle box with some extra items given to him by the Order of The Guardians as they collapsed:

The Ladybug Miraculous (Contains Tikki, one of the seven essences of reality that takes the form of an incorporeal fairylike entity known as a kwami. Tikki is the essence of creation and is associated with good fortune and light.)

The Black Cat Miraculous (Contains Plagg, one of the seven essences of reality that is also a kwami. Plagg is the essence of destruction and is associated with bad fortune and darkness.)

The Five Elemental Idols (Basically the Legendary Spirits from Digimon Frontier: Earth, Fire, Air, Water, Wood)

The Saint's Corpse (Peacock Miraculous Equivalent; Lost and Scattered; Coeur has the heart while a retired supervillain has the ribs, wings, and pelvis.)

Wayzazz (An immortal tortoise with a snake's head, tail, and 'neck.' Has human-level intelligence but no powers, and really just keeps Master Fu company. He and the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous are the only items that can be accessed at the start of the season due the tumor Coeur created on the Miracle Box.)

A Time Bomb (Blows up time. Smash it to blow it up and be sent back in time alongside anyone close to you. Click one way to set a reset point. Click the other way for the Time Bomb to set the reset point. Don't worry, it has failsafes to prevent infinite loops.)

The Puzzle Box, a box of layers and layers of puzzles, containing Chronos, the essence of space (one of the seven essences of reality!)

Energos, another one of the seven essences of reality.

The Pseudo-Mouse Miraculous (convergent evolution; made by a Victorian English woman with passion, a desire to become a mouse, and a love for skip rope. Lacks a kwami and was picked up by Fu instead of the guardians themselves.)

The Frozen Heart (Crystalline ice heart that never melts attached to a chain necklace made of similar ice. Wielder can create and control ice. Works best with ice queens with hidden fury. Useless with overemotional people.)

The Power Gauntlet (Golden adamant gauntlet with magical gemstones, that grants super strength on the arm it's on.)

The Holy Grail (Golden and platinum adamant with magical gemstones. Doesn't grant immortality but any liquid inside it becomes purified and delicious.)

The Dominion Crown (Also golden adamant with magical gemstones. Wear the crown on your head and create a large bubble. That bubble is your domain, and you have full control over what goes on inside it. Basically the Op-Op Fruit combined with the Turtle Miraculous.)

A Philosopher's Stone (One of the larger ones, if not the largest one. Has a golden adamant container decorated with magic gemstones. A stone that resembles white jade and displays both solid and liquid properties. Put in the right ingredients to convert any material into another material. Smells like salt and rotten eggs. Handle with care.)

Excalibur! (Not to be confused with the prop sword in the stone. Silvered adamant blade with a golden adamant and magic gemstone hilt.)

The Miraculous Grimoire, a dense book detailing all the magical objects, species, and spells in this world. Lost by Master Fu. Found by three archaeologists.

Feel free to ask any more questions about these magical items, btw. I love infodumping and adding detail to my work.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Rewrite: Basics

Everyone's rewriting Miraculous, Beth. What makes yours so special? What do you bring to the table? Let me answer that:

My purpose and goal with this rewrite is primarily to create my ideal version of Miraculous. I'd say if it were a real show, it would be a serialized action show for older kids, tweens, and teens. Steven Universe and Gravity Falls come to mind for similar shows. So you know. There'll be some horror. There'll be some sad stuff. Also it'd be animated in a 2D animeesque style akin to the PV since this is my ideal Miraculous where all I have to do is look at the executives funny and they start bending to my demands.

The most notable change compared to canon Miraculous is the lack of Miraculous aside from the Ladybug, Black Cat, and Mouse, except the latter is more like convergent evolution and lacks a Kwami. I felt like the Miraculous system was rather clunky and lacked a good strong theme between the abstract concepts represented and the animals each Kwami was. The Chinese Zodiac 12 was a little bit better since there was at least a core theme but in general it felt more like the concepts were made to be unique and fit to certain characters instead of having any strong themes. So instead I decided to keep the powers themed around certain characters, but have the powers come from various sources (something I think in canon Miraculous is also underutilized, considering the United Heroes and Quantic Kids era, among other things.) Said sources include the spirits of an ancient species of sapient bugs, characters being half-human and half-something else, actual magic whether it be from gods or elsewhere, and all sorts of stuff Master Fu keeps in his Miracle Box aside from the Miraculous.

The plot itself starts off like canon Miraculous but with some minor changes to string in aspects from season 5 far earlier and the time there was a five-man band of heroes in the 90s (very important to the plot,) but as the seasons progress things stray further and further from canon until you reach season 5 where the plot is now Steel Ball Run. There's going to be plenty of Jojo references all around, alongside homages from other Miraculous fanworks and fan concepts I like. The Parallel Paris Special is going to drop Marinette into a salt fic instead of introducing flipped-morality versions of the main three characters. Two more things:

There's going to be two Mayuras, although neither of them will be called Mayura on account of the lack of Peacock Miraculous. There is something to create life, however.

Justice shall prevail.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews: The Paris Parallel Universe Special

Big news! Parallel Universe time! Except it's mostly just visitors from another universe! Just the multiverse plot I like! In the episode 2 timeskip, I'm guessing!

Also I thought about it and decided in my rewrite AU Marinette instead falls into an alternate timeline that's my attempt at giving reason to salt fics combined with a dream I once had. The current issue I'm having is figuring out how Lila can coerce and befriend both the class members that worship Hawkmoth and Alya, who still is a massive Ladybug fan and therefore would be against said Hawkmoth worshipers. It's a dark timeline, to say the least.

I don't think being a fashion designer is a normal life, honestly.

Holy fuck, this really is an alternate timeline! Gabriel Agreste's the one doing the singing!

So why is it Kamiko instead of Akuma? I always felt like it would be Tenshi for the angel/demon parallels, not to mention how Tenshi meaning "heaven messenger" works well with them being empowered and in a way controlled by the butterfly wielder. What does Kamiko mean, anyways? I know Akuma just means "evil demon," considering their only purpose is to wreak havoc and get the Miraculouses,

Oh right. This scene again. The lighting looks different, though.

"Turns your best friend into a dimensional portal and pops out of it"

Evil fucked-up Ladybug and Chat Noir

Nope. Still not believing this is real Paris.

Wouldn't it be funny if she said "Unlucky charm!" instead? To enhance the evil reverse situation!

Alright, so how does "Tikki living in all parallel universes at once" work, anyways? Is each Tikki a small component in a grand semi-autonomous hivemind that all relay back to the Master Tikki? Does Tikki ever get messed up at what part of the universe she's talking to? Is she aware and feeling the misery of her Shadyverse counterpart I know will appear?

Claw Noir is corny as hell and feels like he's forcing himself and not being who he truly is. You can tell this isn't who he's meant to be because he's still a boy.

Honestly Claw Noir turning his staff into nunchucks is cool as hell. I hope regular Chat Noir does that sometime.

Same with Shadybug's lucky charms being guns and weapons and tools. Helpful stuff!

No way! Angel Chat Blanc!

Those two dumb jackasses are the kind of people to say "Bad morning" and "No we can't" to Bob the Builder.

Monarch's really thinking with portals now

Doomreading about her alternate self's better life and friends

So why are there evil phrase versions for the Miraculouses anyways? What purpose does it serve?

Long forms

Oh hey! This happens in my rewrite as well!

Broken

Yep, the giants are illusions.

Despite this being a timeline where bad is good and good is bad, Chloe is still evil? Honestly I think she should be a sweetie pateetie. Also because it's funnier that way.

Eh. The old outfit looked better. Just get rid of the dark makeup and make the hair tidier.

So have they been up all night?

And Ladybug has become Hatsune Miku!

Get his ass! Get his ass! Also different timelines having different appearances is very useful knowledge to me.

Nooroo's used to this shit

Yep, this never happened!

Oh god they did stay up all night

Damn, these specials are getting better and better! I'll admit, the reconciliation scene felt campy in a way I didn't like and it feels weird that even in another timeline Gabriel Agreste redeems himself more than Chloe, but other than that, good stars! Also the animation was good!

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Masterpost!

Finally! I can return! To Kingda Ka!

Miraculous Reviews: Here

Writing/Heacanons/Analyses: Love Square Baseball Mail Day Sleepover That's Japan Miraculous: Dreams Prologue Outline Yeehaw Four characters that feel shoved to the side Lucas and Jennifer Girlsquad Lore Hawkmoth v. Detectives Prompt

Rewrite AU: Proto Basics Master Fu's Box Five Idols + Crystal Heart

Shift Season: Basics

Other: Mom! Mom! Phineas and Ferb are spreading to other realities so they can promote braincell growth and make people smarter! The One Question Ask I got Olympics Instagram

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-12: Crocoduel (Plus an OC!)

Oh baby, another Juleka episode! And with her as a hero instead of an insult to Clownkind! I think Luka's a big part of this episode as well!

I think I've seen those animations before.

Julerose in the first few seconds! Yippee!!!

That was one of the worst lies I've ever heard.

Lovers, ideally, not buddies. I refuse the Adrienette gravy train. It's like if gravy was bad.

I refuse to believe Luka and Juleka are twins. You cannot convince me. I can barely buy them as siblings, honestly. Luka has to be two years older than Juleka and they're half siblings because I doubt Deadbeat Stone would wait even a year to ditch Anarka for fame. My father and his father shared the same birthday, so Luka and Juleka can too!

As always, Juleka is being disrespected.

Oh my god, Marinette is using her braincells outside of Ladybug!

Fuck. Marinette is cooking. She knows she can only be down bad for Adrien. She knows she'll only hurt Luka.

"Talking garbage can? Awesome." Alright, that's the best line of season 4, if not the entire show.

How is Marinette hiding in that garbage can anyways? Is she just noclipping in and out of it or something?

Jagged doesn't even seem aware of Juleka's existence. I can feel myself growing more right. He only seems to acknowledge Luka as his child.

"Hey Juleka, can you make sure your brother isn't at his own birthday party? Thanks."

Oh baby! People apologizing for doing crappy stuff!

Japed

Roblox Flamethrower noise

Oh hey. Woman with Mylene's VA.

You have the space powerup. Which is being forgotten for plot reasons.

Alright, after three and a half seasons of being disrespected with akumatizations, Juleka finally becomes Purple Tigress. I think it's my favorite design and powerset. The ability to generate energy is surprisingly versatile. She can jumpstart cars. She can make ludicrous amounts of heat.

Have Hawkmoth's quips been weaker lately? It feels like they have.

Bellissimo. Juleka is now my favorite character.

Aaaand they had to end the episode with absolute and utter friendzoning. I will rage about this until the end of time or when I write a fic or two about it. Lukanette disrespect.

So yeah. If you noticed in the title, I have an OC to talk about. A Miraculous OC. That goes against the canon in this episode because I refuse to believe it.

His name is Gregory Steel. I think he changed his last name to not be associated with his old family. He has a black 2000s boycut covering his left eye and a goatee that shouldn't look too bad on him. I imagine his default outfit being some jeans and a black T-shirt for the Seattle grunge band he plays bass for, Screaming Crow. He's also a music teacher.

In 2000-2001, he met a French-Canadian woman named Anarka Couffaine, who was tired of big celebrities and wanted to settle down with her infant child. The two hit it off, going inbetween raising a child and working smaller gigs for cash. They even had a child together. However, on that new child's first birthday, the two had a falling-out, albeit one with good communication and the two are still friends to this day. Anarka moved to France to live on a boat in freedom while in the modern day of 2016 Gregory now is married and has two nine-year-old twins: a boy and a girl. Still, he does pay child support and give birthday and Christmas gifts to his other two children, Luka and Juleka. He also does come to visit but infrequently. He doesn't have that much money.

In a hypothetical rewrite, instead of this episode, Gregory decides to come over to Paris on his kids' birthdays, only to see Jagged the deadbeat trot on over and act like he's ever been a loving dad, even worse is the bias he's giving for Luka while ignoring his little darling Juleka. You can probably guess where this goes: Hawkmoth akumatizes him into Screaming Crow, a giant one-eyed crow that screams and attacks Jagged, Purple Tigress still gets introduced because she's the best and I love her and I want her to be the third permanent holder, and so on. I'm pretty sure Marinette and Luka have broken up by now but at the same time Marinette is starting to date Kagami. Or maybe they're still dating.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-9: Gabriel Agreste

Gabriel Agreste.

I'm starting to hear the Mondo Oowada in Gabriel's voice, honestly.

I'm guessing this is a Felix episode?

Aww! Adrien's so caring to Natalie!

And this is also a Nathaniel and Marc episode. Honestly I've forgotten their voices. I think they're just ship fodder, though. Also doesn't Alya know Marinette doesn't want to be in any romantic relationships because of her secret identity screwing up dates? Or was that plot point abandoned as soon as they broke up Lukanette and Adrigami.

They literally made Adrien the damsel in distress. Adrien is so girl-coded we might as well make him transfem.

Alright, credit where it's due, Chloe's funnier than ever. Breaking down from the ceiling via rock climbing gear to make her entrance?

Honestly Chloe's perception of Marinette isn't too off. If Adrien learned about her stalking he'd be pretty unerved. Look at how he was at Gorizilla with Wayhem.

I love a good 'wrong button' gag.

Masquerade!

Also you ever think about how Juleka doesn't pin her hair up after the one episode? Did the incident at the modeling thing traumatize her? Is it for stealth reasons to look unassuming?

Yall better not be on your phones during class

Of course it was a fake. Frankly I saw it a mile away.

kids' party

among us

Also Adrien's dad just doesn't care at this point. She and Chloe ain't discrete about this.

Someone knows Gabriel is Hawkmoth! Hopefully they'll tell the right people and put an end to his reign! Also foreshadowing about how Felix is Peacock-Made!

pfft Shadowmoth Akumatizing his Peacock-Made copy after the first plan didn't work

Kagami's so protective of Adrien even when she has her issues!

Is this battle really necessary? Is this episode necessary at all? Actually, it is. Felix lore.

Hm. Maybe in my hypothetical rewrite I'll just make this episode Felix-focused or merge it with another episode to make room for the ever-important baseball episode.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-19: Simpleman

This one's going to be fun. I can tell.

So far, it is! Marinette hiding the Miracle Box and suggesting that they draw only to find pictures of Adrien but that doesn't work and then more kids come along,

Oh god that fic was wrong. But are the teens telling their parents about this?

Also it's so good to see the kids with friends their age. Fun fact: I didn't have that. I didn't even have cousins my age on my father's side. Well, second cousins that one time...

So does Chris have his personality here or?

Kwami abuse

Kids and one movie. My one movie was Monsters Incorporated.

This is a Pepe-Silvia-ass chart.

The Chocolate Convention

Fei Wu mentioned

Wow, Grandpa's doing a better job than I thought!

You should probably explain it to him in term of older tech. A computer can be seen as a typewriter with a color TV screen, and a laptop is just a portable compressed computer. I have no idea how to describe the touchpad, though. Or the mouse. Wait, the mouse is like a puppet!

pffft Roland got the same confusion as everyone else on Tumblr that didn't immediately get into Miraculous (not me. I'm built different.)

Wait, does he not know about Ladybug and Chat Noir? He was akumatized once! Or did he not know what was going on then? Is he that much of a shut-in?

VHS, baby!

That's more than just complicated! That's just manipulative!

I feel like in my hypothetical "I get isekai'd as a fully-passing woman into Miraculous Paris and become Marinette's adoptive older sister" thing Grandpa Rolland would either love or hate me.

Grandpa's not handling the chaos well

This is one of the best akumas in the show.

Blud did not think things through

Yippee!!!!!

They're okay!

I was right. This is one of the best akumas in the show!

Don't complain, kids. Vanilla's a good flavor!

They should at least get more candy than that. All the candy in the world.

Alternatively, just get Chat Noir to cataclysm the paddle. That's extra simple!

At this point the universe itself is preventing Marinette from confessing to Adrien. This universe lacks Phineas and Ferb and desperately needs it.

Grandpa Rolland would love The Brave Little Toaster. Honestly it would be cool if he showed the kids older films like Willy Wonka and stuff like that.

Oh! I almost forgot! I had an idea for a rewrite of this episode. Basically instead of Rolland getting akumatized, a different akuma shows up that's far too hard for Ladybug, Chat Noir, and any aids they bring along. Grandpa Rolland takes matters into his own hands, dons a superhero suit that's literally just the same as his Simpleman fit but not as blue, and beats the stuffing out of the akuma. Ladybug and Chat Noir are baffled but just glad that it's over. Also the amount of kids Grandpa Rolland ends up looking after is inexplicably increased to Manon and all of the little siblings in Marinette's class. Ivan's little sister mentioned in the one card game. Rose's four gremlin little brothers I headcanon she has. Juleka's half-sibling twins from her father Gregory Steel. Nathaniel's first cousins once-removed but to make things simpler (ha!) he just calls them his nephew and niece. Audrey had a second affair and now there's a blond five-year-old in Paris. Jalil is there for some reason.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 5-9: The Tiger Miraculous: Marichat! The Reverse Love Square is in Full Swing!

Ice Cream part 3. Let us proceed.

The role reversal lmao

At least just detransform then transform back. I hate wasting food!

How ironic.

Even Chat Noir has stalkers!? This is just grim.

Well, at least she's trying to let go of Adrien.

Dramatic Irony

Oh god

She's so cringefail! I love her!

Yes! Yes! I can't believe I'm rooting for Marichat! This is still just Adrienette in a different color!

Above the City

Oh boy, here we go. It's Glaciator 2 all over again.

I can't believe it! That's what I've been saying this entire time!

Honestly, I'm not mad! This seems like it could actually be healthy!

Oh, of course.

Get his ass!

Friendship!

Honestly I really liked this episode! I think I'll put it in Season 2 of my rewrite, as that's when the reverse Love Square occurs.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews Episode 4-13: Optigami

If you think about it, 'Optigami' could make for a ship name with Kagami and someone whose name includes an 'Opti' in it.

Another recap?

Hawkmoth you idiot, Nathalie was the one to exploit all the new identities discovered!?

The statue eyes lmao

Is it weird to say I want to touch immobile! Marinette to see what happens? Like, poke her. Nothing weird.

Honestly I've gone faster than the elevator because I almost always take the stairs. Maybe I'm just a fast walker.

Stock arcade sound effects

Bro didn't even get tied up or anything. He was just shocked to see a clone of himself.

You know what? I'll take any insult against this wretched hag.

Get her ass! Even if it is just to akumatize her once again! I'm desperate!

Oh god. I'm calling that murder. Even moreso than all the other times.

Imagine if the identity reveal was right there, lmao.

Yeah, I'd call her a serial killer. Maybe most akumas are, but she feels oddly in-character than mad. I'd call Hawkmoth and Nathalie serial killers or at least accomplices as well.

Why did you say that out loud, dumbass?

Oh. She wasn't entirely willing. Hawkmoth and Nathalie are the serial killers, then.

Love me a Chekhov's Gun!

Frankly, this should've been the first episode of Season 4. It comes straight off the tails of the Season 3 finale, there's plenty of consequences to said finale, Kagami shows care for Adrien that could be interpreted as Adrigami, the new heroes aren't even mentioned, honestly, the only thing wrong is the appearance of Zoe, and she basically did nothing! And also Alya knowing Marinette's identity and becoming a permanent holder.

Hm. Maybe in the hypothetical rewrite this'll be the episode to debut Minotaurox. His power's a hard counter for Style Queen, although I'll have to find a way to get those two out of the elevator without an identity reveal. Maybe Tikki and Plagg break through the inner workings of the elevator without their powers? Maybe Plagg has to do another apocalyptic cataclysm and the two (soon, three,) have to fight around it?