#beth mead imagines

[trulyhblue]

Bf Leah being wound up after a bad game and takes control. Smut pls!!!!

BLED BLUE

leah williamson x chelsea! reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, humiliation, dom/sub dynamics, age gap (legal + consensual), hate sex, enemies w/ benefits, rough, coarse language.

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Part of you wondered how long it would take Leah to take you home. There was not an ounce of blue in her body, taken only by the lifelong allegiance to North London, but the thought of you, a blue-born Chelsea girl, taking up the space under her sheets, was addictive.

Chelsea were the better team. Always was, and always will be. The Blues were better at everything. Their players were more advanced, their game plans had been executed to perfection. Arsenal were sloppy, poor, and unjust. It was embarrassing to the point where it stood out as entertaining to you. Seeing the almighty, reigning Arsenal fall on their knees and succumb to the superiority of your team was endearing, and you found yourself searching for the thrill increasingly more as the game progressed.

And the sight of the woman you hated oh so much angered by the defeated notion of the final whistle was your idea of an indescribable victory.

“What a shame, Williamson.” You snagged, clutching the fabric at your hips, looking down at her bent figure. “I thought you’d play well.”

“Ah, it is you.” She replied with just as much spite. “I thought I saw someone falling flat on their face. Makes sense now that I know it was you.”

You smirked, folding your arms over your chest. “Yeah, tried to show my humility… y’know, after scoring two goals tonight I thought it was only necessary.”

Leah scoffed, straightening her posture to display her authoritative height over you. “Both off deflections… sounds brilliant.”

“Player of the match worthy.” You bit back, stepping forward, pressing your chest against hers, suppressing the heat in your face. “Don't worry, I’ll make sure to credit your own goal in the interview.”

“Always have an excuse to talk about me. Can't stop, can you?”

“Is that what you think of me?”

“I don't think of you.” Leah shook her head, grabbing the hem of your shorts and fiddling with them persistently. “But if I did, I’d be sure to let you know.”

“If only I cared enough to hear it.” You tutted, not really caring about the openness of your situation. The stadium was still quite full, with both of your teammates lingering on the field. Fans were banking the barricade, no doubt looking for the two of you.

“I could tell you now if you’d like.”

“Aw, are you thinking of me now, Williamson?”

You felt Leah’s hand move to the inside of your thigh, pressing a tight pinch to gain any type of reaction from you. Biting your lip, you hoped that the post-game redness covered your blush.

“I bet you love the thought of people watching this, don't you?” She asked, glaring at you with such hatred that her words felt bittersweet. “Always so desperate for attention that you’d do it in front of everyone. Fucking needy.”

“You’re the one touching me.” In anger, you snapped. You didn't like the way Leah seemed so confident, so right in what she was saying. You wanted to be right. You were the one who won it for your team. You were better than her. She needed to realise that.

The only separation between the two of you was by your arms crossed over your chest. Leah was drawing furious patterns along your thigh, pressed up against you with her face above you, your height earning her to look down.

“Pull away then.” She uttered, now pulling you into a hug. You knew this would send fans into a spiral. Everybody knew about your rivalry with Leah. It was evident in the tackles, the cards, the teams, the games, the interactions. This was unclaimed territory. You had both teased each other after the games. There was always fire and spite, anger and resentment, but never contact. She told you to pull away, and by the tension that lingered, if you did she would let you have there was something else there. You felt it between your legs, running down your spine, making your core yearn.

It was in the way she kept her hand in between your thighs, deepening her fingers just below where you needed her most. She held you tight, closing any physical gap, forcing your arms to circle her waist as she wrapped her spare arm around the name on the back of your shoulders. You don't know why, but you held her back just as tight, breathing heavily when she started moving her fingers upwards.

“So tense.” She spat, rubbing your shoulder.

You shook her arm off, keeping the contact but still resistant. “I pulled it at training, of course it is.”

“Wasn't talking about your shoulder, baby.” She chuckled, her voice sending goosebumps down your neck. “In those thighs. Clenching them so hard and I'm hardly touching ‘em.”

That was when you knew your cheeks were burning.

There was a hint of humiliation in your tone, but your anger was still prevalent. “I didn't even notice your hand.”

“Yeah, alright.” Williamson grinned, pulling away. You felt the cold air nip your cheeks at the sudden loss of contact. Her fingers were no longer soothing the ache in between your legs. “Alright, baby, no, all that flushed cheeks from the big game, hm? Breathing so heavily cause you scored two goals, is that you’re so wet for me?”

“I’m not— you're so—”

Leah stepped away again, and you were too stupid to step forward in response. “God, is that what you're gonna sound like in the interview? You a mess, Baby, really. All flustered and red.”

“I'm not red.” You snapped. “And stop calling me baby. You're only four years older than me.”

Leah could see straight through you. “But you love that though.” She saw straight past your visible persona. “Why don't you show me how mature you are then? Can't call you baby if you prove that you're not.” She could tell by your flustered state, your wide eyes and your tainted disposition that you were struggling to handle the conversation.

“I don't need to prove anything to you. I just won the match. That's enough to prove that I'm better anyway.”

“But you needed help to get there, didn't you?” She retorted. “It’s not your name on the score sheet, it's mine. Look,” she pointed up to the screen, almost condescendingly, above the stands, where WILLIAMSON (OG) was printed boldly in white below the score. “All that hard work and I still get the mention.”

There was a fight for dominance, but the fight was so clearly won when you audibly gulped, unable to come up with just enough answer to compel yourself into a deeper state of anger. If anything, you were willing to resort to forbidding, but you were stubborn and bled blue.

“You’re just mad that you lost and we won. Chelsea was always better anyway, and you were just too slow… bet that's always the case.”

Leah’s jaw clicked, her lips settling into a thin line.

“In what case?” She muttered distinctly.

“You know what case.” You failed to notice the challenge, finding yourself in a superior position of confidence to realise the hole you were digging for yourself. “Slow and boring… on and off the pitch. You definitely get around, but you never seem to see one person twice. Maybe that's because they don't want to see you.”

Leah grabbed your wrist, yanking you off the field. It was a tradition that you would see the fans after every game, so you tugged back in retaliation.

She pivoted to face you, glaring at you with so much affliction that you yearned for more.

“You seem really interested in how I ‘get around’. Sounds like you wish it was you.”

No matter how hard your body was willing to succumb to her words, you stood firm by scoffing, rolling your eyes at her cockiness. “If only I was so desperate.”

“I’ll show you just how desperate I can get you.” The captain spat, holding your forearm now, easily leading you further down the tunnel where fans or players could no longer find you. “Didn't even properly touch you before and you were a needy mess.”

“You’re always so fucking sure of yourself, aren't you, Williamson?” You snapped back, hearing the clad of your boots fail to drown out your ungrateful tone. You did not care for what Leah was so keen to impress you with. Never had anyone told you that Leah did not impress. She was determined to make sure everyone was supplied with the right things for their needs. She valued giving pleasure over receiving. But if there was one thing she hated, it was brats like you.

You stood outside the Chelsea changing rooms, your kit still adorned on your figure.

“Go get your shit.” She snarled, letting go of your arm and jabbing you forward.

You scoffed, stopping dead in your tracks. “And what? You're gonna wait for me and drop me home? I have a license, Williamson, I'm not your fucking—”

You couldn't finish your rant, yelping when Leah cut you off, grabbing the collar of your shirt and mashing her lips against yours. One of her legs found its way between yours, her knee pushing against your core. A moan fell from your lips, and the woman wasted no time in slipping her tongue in, caging your figure between you and the wall.

She waited until you were kissing her back before grabbing your neck. She instantly moved down to litter harsh kisses down the nape of your neck, using her hands to move underneath your shirt, massaging your breasts. You were a mess beneath her, breathing heavily when the pressure on your clit intensified when her knee started rubbing patterns up and down.

“Swear at me again and see how it turns out for you.” She muttered in your ear, relishing the whines that fell from your lips as her knee continued its work. “If I tell you to grab your bag, that's what you do, yeah? You understand, Chelsea?”

The nickname left you shrinking, her words making your core glisten. You weren't completely sure whether the Arsenal girl was planning on taking you home. You didn't understand why you were all of a sudden pretty much moaning at the friction of her knee.

But you weren't fucking complaining.

“My teammates are in there.”

Leah let out a laugh. “You had no problem letting me touch you in a filled Stanford Bridge, Babygirl. I think it’d be healthy if your teammates realised who fucks their Stargirl after a home game.”

“You haven't fucked me, yet.” Your cheeks flushed a deep crimson, the thought of the England captain fucking you sending you into a spiral.

“Go get your bag and then I can use that pretty mouth for something other than moaning my last name… not that I mind when you do that.”

You wasted no time in doing as you were told, forever thankful that all of your teammates were either still interacting with fans or showering. You grabbed all of your stuff and quickly followed Leah over to the away changing rooms.

She let you walk through, since none of the girls were present, grabbing your belongings and chucking them inside her cubby. You felt her figure cage you back into the nearest wall, her hands how playing with the hem of your shirt, inching it further up your waist until it was completely disregarded, and you were left in your sports bra and shorts.

“Why so quiet?” Leah asked, kissing down the column of your neck, fondling your breasts. You sighed at the growing ache in your core, throwing your head back when Leah’s knee came back into contact with your clit.

“Some— someone’s going to walk in.”

Leah snorted. “Like you would mind.”

You huffed, grabbing the back of her neck and pushing her head further down your body. Leah’s knee stopped in return, leaving you writhing at the loss of pressure.

“Use your words or you can get off yourself.”

“Like you could get me off.” You retorted.

“I don't make brats cum.” She spat, moving back up to tower over you. “I edge them until they’re desperate and getting themself off my thigh. I treat them like brats, and maybe you need to work a little fucking harder for what you want.”

“You were just teasing me!”

“You're just desperate.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Leah.” There it was. Music to her ears.

“What?”

You whined, using your hips to drag yourself along her knee.

“What was that, Baby? Couldn't hear you under all those whines.”

“Leah, c’mon.” You stated potently, getting more impatient by the minute. “I'm not begging.”

The number six shrugged, looking down at you with wide, innocent eyes like she had no clue what you were going on about. Like she didn't even realise that you were humping her leg longing for some relief.

“Begging for what?” She moved her finger painstakingly down your chest, tracing your abs ever so slowly.

“For you.”

“For me?” She questioned, feigning confusion. Her hand dipped into the waistband of your shorts, circling your clit over your underwear. “Answer me, Darling. What do you want me to do? I'm touching you.”

“Touch me more.”

Leah tutted, moving her hand away. You groaned, throwing your head back when no pleasure was offered. “I'm afraid that's not how you ask. It might get you somewhere at Chelsea, but at Arsenal, we treat our Captains with respect. Even our star girls use their manners in the North end.”

“Touch me more, please.”

“Where, Chelsea?” Leah moved closer to you, peeling off her own shirt, removing your shorts, leaving you in your underwear and bra. “Be a good girl and tell me where.” She asked, her body lowering itself closer to the ground. You watched her kneel before you, hands gripping your waist, kneading your hips, lips biting your inner thigh.

“My clit, Lee, please. I need you to touch me there.”

“Such a good girl for your Captain, aren't you?” Leah ran her tongue along your folds, your underwear pooled at your feet. Your legs were swung over her shoulders, your hands buried in her hair, pulling taunt to her ponytail and the hairs that had fallen out during the game. Your moans were still muffled by the bite in your lips, the nerves of someone hearing your desperation for your enemy is still evident in the way you kept your mouth shut.

It was when Leah’s tongue latched onto your clit, sucking harshly on the swollen bud that your noises fell so adamantly from your reddened lips. You felt Leah’s cocky smile, her chuckles sending vibrations of pleasure through your body.

“Sound so pretty, Baby.”

“Leah— fuck, Lee. I'm gonna—”

“You’re going to hold it. Taste so good, you can wait.”

The coil in your stomach was forming long before Leah had even started, and the more Leah attacked your bud, the more your orgasm led to burst. Your moans had doubled in volume when one of her hands came up to play with your nipple, pinching it and playing with the nub every time her tongue licked up your folds. Her other hand worked its way through your pussy, spreading your slick all over your thighs, letting it run down your shaking legs and make your skin glisten with the glossy arousal.

“Want Stanford to hear you,” Leah spoke from below you. You whined at the thought. You were in a state of pure bliss that all cautionary thoughts of interruption were so far gone. All you could think about was Leah’s face between your legs.

“Feels so good, Lee. Want to cum so bad for you.”

“You can hold it, baby.”

“Mh, Lee, please.”

Leah moaned at your whines, nuzzling her nose up against your clit, pinching your nipple hard, reeling at the moan you let out in response. She saw the way your hole clenched around nothing, smirking at the way you rolled your hips across her face, working your pussy into her mouth so easily. She felt powerful knowing she had you at her disposal. You were stunning always, but there was something about you now that set Leah off. It made her angry knowing that you weren't hers to fuck at her discretion. It made her protective over you in ways she had never felt before. You were Chelsea’s protege — everyone worried when going up against you.

“Leah.”

It wasn't like something had changed, but Leah had realised that her hate was actually protection and adoration. She wanted you for herself. She wanted to steer you away from anyone that would hurt you. She hated Chelsea, she despised the West side more than anything, and it wasn't the sex that made her realise this.

“Leah.”

It was her name coming from your lips.

“Cum for me, Baby.”

That was all you needed to hear before you were barreling over the edge, your legs relying entirely on the strength of Leah’s upper body to keep you balanced. Your moans exemplified the stimulation of your orgasm riding out, and Leah’s endeavours to lick the result of it up as it poured into her mouth and onto your thighs.

The woman made sure you had somewhat caught your breath before she moved, having a moment to catch her own breath and comprehend what just happened. When she knew you were able to stand independently, she moved over to her cubby, grabbing the baby wipes she always had handy, moving back down to her knees to clean the mess across your legs as you covered your chest back with your jersey, and later your shorts.

Leah moved to do the same, except she watched as you fumbled with what to do. She gave you a pointed look as if to question your thinking, and you simply sighed and waddled over to her, slight humiliation at your wobbly legs painting your cheeks as you grabbed your bag.

“You all good, Baby?” She asked, her voice no longer authoritative and rather empathetic.

“Yeah, thanks.” You nodded. “Erm… sorry for being… rude… actually I'm not sorry but I am.”

“Yeah, same,” Leah replied a cheeky grin settled on her complexion. “I think we can settle for friendly rivalry from now on.”

“If that's what you call this, then sure.” You added, laughing along with what to make of the situation, feeling more out of place than ever in the middle of the Arsenal room. “I better go.”

“I’ll drive you home.”

“Lee, I've got my license—”

“It wasn't a question, Chelsea.”

You stood there defeated, knowing internally that you had no way home after Millie had driven you to the stadium and would have left by now anyway. Leah must’ve known that by the way she wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her chest.

“Besides, wouldn't want that Player of The Match Trophy getting forgotten now, would we?”

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A/N — bad ending but oh well… HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!!

[woso-dreamzzz]

Foster II

Meadema x Teen!Reader

Summary: Your first visitation

Beth had never really thought about what your mother looks like.

She had never really considered it.

Like you, she supposed. Maybe an older version of your face. Maybe a few differences in your eyes or your cheekbones. Maybe your hair is a lighter shade. Maybe it's a few shades darker.

Either way, Beth had never really considered it but the woman that walked into the building wasn't what she expected.

Viv threads their fingers together, also put on edge by the jittery woman in front of them.

"Y/n," She says," Sweetheart. Come here."

She opens her arms for you but you don't go into them, shuffling your feet next to your social worker.

When Beth and Viv had told you that your Mum had gotten visitation, you hadn't seemed surprised. You hadn't seemed happy either.

You were just resigned.

You'd been through this before.

The only difference was this time your dad was in prison and a judge had terminated his rights to you.

"Why don't we head to the meeting room?" Your social worker asks," Get settled and you two can catch up?"

"Sounds good!"

You linger behind as your social worker leads the charge into one of the meeting rooms.

You catch Beth's sleeve, tugging lightly.

You're quiet most of the time. You linger around the house in silence if no one talks to you, needing to be reminded of simple things like being allowed to sit down and being allowed to get water without asking.

"Stay," You say, voice barely above a whisper," Stay, please."

It's meant to be an hour-long visitation, once a week. If your mother's rehab and parenting classes go well it gets upped to twice a week. An hour is a long time, enough time to go off and do some errands.

In fact your social worker had even recommended that.

But here you were, asking them to stay.

You don't make eye contact. You look uncomfortable even asking for it.

"We'll stay," Viv says," We're not going anywhere."

An hour never goes by so slowly.

It's strange, Beth thinks.

An hour in a game can pass in the blink of an eye but, here, with nothing but the ticking of the clock, it goes incredibly slow.

Viv is a steady presence though, holding Beth's hand in her own as they wait for you.

"We left Myle's stuff at training yesterday," She says," We'll have to swing by and grab it."

"We're nearby. We can grab them after y/n's done."

The ticking of the clock is the only thing that distracts Beth as she waits. She can't even bring herself to scroll mindlessly on her phone as she waits.

Her leg bounces as she waits and Viv tightens her grip until you're finally in front of them again.

Your face is blank. Your shoulders are slumped. You stare straight through them rather than at them.

Beth reaches for your hand, telegraphing every movement to give you a chance to pull away.

You don't.

You let her take your hand.

"Are you-?"

You don't even let her finish, something that's so uncharacteristic of you.

"Can we go home?"

Viv stands. "Soon," She promises," We're just going to swing past practice and grab Myle's stuff then we'll go straight home. We'll even get something at the drive through. How does a milkshake sound?"

You give her a weak smile, nothing more than a slight upturn of your lips.

"Sounds good."

You're silent in the car, head pressed against the window and eyes staring blankly out as the scenery whizzes past you.

"Are you okay with staying here?" Beth asks as you pull up," Or should one of us stay?"

"One of you stay."

She's heard you speak more today than she did last week but this is hardly the win it would be on any other day.

"I'll stay," Viv says from the driving seat," I'll stay with you."

You don't remember Beth getting out of the car. You don't remember Viv getting in the back with you. You don't remember when you started crying and when you curled against Viv's body.

There's a knock at the window and you jolt.

"Now's not a good time, Katie," Viv says, tucking your head into her neck," It's not a good time for any of you."

There's a crowd around the car, most of the team much too nosy for their own good and Viv just pulls you even closer.

Katie, who seems to have been nominated as spokesperson, has the decency to look a little ashamed. "Beth said the kid is feeling a little bit raw today. We got some of the cakes from the dining hall."

Kyra, uncharacteristically silent, holds out one of the muffins.

There's a huge chunk that's been taken out of it.

"Oh! That one's mine! Sorry!" She takes the other one out of her pocket.

Viv gently nudges you. "Would you like to take it? You don't have to if you don't want."

Your hand reaches out the open window carefully but the moment your hand is wrapped around the muffin, you snatch it back to your body.

"Thank you."

Your words are barely audible but it still garners some smiles from the team.

"Hey." You think it's Leah that's talking to you now. You don't really know the name of the team, still stuck on your discovery a few weeks ago that Beth and Viv were professional footballers. "Next time you're here, we'll you down to the dining hall ourselves, yeah? There's this pudding cup that's amazing."

You still don't make eye contact. "I'd like that."

Viv grins just as Beth comes back, lightly nudging you and you look at her.

"What do you want to order for dinner? Beth's paying."

[buzzinrusso]

7+2 - Leah Williamson

Genre :fluff

Prompt: seven times where you and Leah had to hide your relationship, and two times where you didn't care.

(Hiding it.)1.

You and Leah were having a very chill night at your house .

By chill you mean turning on a movie and then proceeding to ignore the said movie and make out with your girlfriend.

That's why you were startling her lap with your mouths connected perfectly in a very intimate kiss, her hand were slowly guiding your hips to grind against her own.

You groaned when the door bell rang, you hated having to be separated from your current position on top of your girlfriend.

"Ignore it, it'll go away. " you mumbled as Leah tangled her hand in your Mid-lengh, brunette hair.

You let out an annoyed sigh as rung the person rung the bell rapidly. "Go see who it is, maybe they'll leave earlier. "

You frustratingly got up from her lap, letting out an annoyed sigh as you made your way to the door to shoo away who you assumed was a person who had the wrong address.

Imagine the surprised look on your face when your opened the door with a huff, ready to tell someone off , only to find your arsenal teammates at the door.

Beth, Viv, Kim, Katie, manu, and Lina,your new teammate were all at the door.

"Oh! Hey guys! " you said extra loud so that Leah could hear you. "What are you doing here? "

"Team bonding. Did you not see the chat?"Beth said while pacing her way into your living room followed by the rest of the team.

"Hiya" Leah said as the team approached where she was sat. You let out a sigh of relief as you noticed that she had managed to remove all the romantic things that were set up, candles, flowers, etc..

"Leah? What are you doing g here? "

"Uh, I thought I'd come early to help her , you know? " Leah stammered on her words, eyes nervously shifting between you and the girls who all took seats.

"Yeah, she actually came in just a few minutes before you guys. "

2.

"So, Leah, " Amanda started with a grin "you seem really happy. "

"Uh yeah, of course I am. " Leah nodded "physio is going great and I'll be back on the pitch in no time. "

"Yeah, that great! But I meant to ask you if you were seeing someone. "

"Mum, I wasn't seeing someone last week, or the week before that, and I'm not seeing someone now. " Leah stated firmly. It was clearly a lie.

"Okay, I was just asking. " her mother shrugged with a knowing smile on her face. "But if you were seeing someone, you would tell me, right? "

"Of course I would mum. "

That was the end of their conversation about relationship, the rest of night was filled with talks of football, life, etc... With Leah, of course, sending you messages every now and then.

3.

You were out on a girls night with you university friends, you went to Cambridge University and there you had met one of your many friends, Eva.

It was about 11pm when you and Eva were left in the corner with your friends Amy and Charlie , conversations sparked up about Amy's latest hookup / situationship which caused everyone to start talking about their significant other.

Your lips turned slightly upwards as you thought about your girlfriend. You had come to the conclusion last night that you and Leah were meant to be. It was a late night , you and Leah were laying in bed , not doing anything and just talking. The moment you realized that you were meant to be was when Leah broke out into uncontrollable laughter at a story you told, and then proceeded to tell a story of her own while you just stared at her in admiration.

"What about you babes? You seem awfully happy, have you got a special someone these days? " Charlotte asked while wiggling her brows teasingly at you.

"No, not really. " you kept your reply short and simple , not giving anyone any room to suspect anything else.

Except for Eva.

She knew you inside out.

Your phone pinged.

𝑬𝒗𝒂

Lair. 😉😉

𝒀𝒐𝒖

I'll talk to you later, don't worry

4.

"Come on, let's go. " Leah grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the training grounds to the car.

The action made you both get looks from your teammates, who were still in the dark about your one year relationship.

"Why are you leaving together? By the way, this isn't the first time you both came in the same car, or left together. " Beth pointed out abruptly interrupting the loud chatter happening around you in the locker room.

You quickly said the first thing that came to you head.

"Of course we do Beth, her house is about two minutes away from mine, why waste my gas when I can waste hers? " Beth, viv , Jen , and lia erupted into quite laughter at your rusher out words as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, as did Leah.

5.

You were getting ready for an event that you and Leah were invited to by sponsors, you were putting on a black fitted long dress that compliments your body's curves perfectly and Leah just couldn't keep her hands off of you.

"Leah seriously, don't start anything you can't finish. " you mumbled as Leah wrapped her arms around your waist and started kissing down your neck and then her hands started to move up from your waist to the rest of your body.

"Who says I can't finish. " it was more of a statement than a question as she continued to kiss down from your neck to your shoulder blades.

"Leah, seriously. We can't be late. " you gently pushed Leah off making her let out a quite whine.

For privacy reasons (keeping your relationship a secret) you and Leah decided to leave in different cars, not In Leah's car as you usually would, meaning you had to leave now, meanwhile Leah had to leave in about 10 minutes so you would arrive at separate times to not raise suspicions.

So, as you tried to leave because your assignee driver was waiting g outside, Leah was still in the middle of applying her finishing touches.

"Ughhh, babyyy, please , one minute. "

"Leah Mr. Adams is honking and waiting for me, I can't be any later than I already am. " you hated to do this but it was all worth it when le walked into the room while you were sitting in the corner with Alex Scott.

The suit she was wearing looked spectacular on her, and it quite literally took your breath away.

Thought you and Leah couldn't physically interact that much during the night, the stolen looks and kisses in the bathroom certainly made up for it.

6.

The stadium erupted as the ball sailed into the back of the net. Your arsenal teammates ran to you to celebrate you game winning goal.

Leah was the first to get there and she immediately launched her entire body weight onto you as you happily let her arms and legs wrap around your body as she repeatedly kissed your forehead and as much as you wanted to kiss her, you knew you couldn't.

With your teammates watching and a very large fandom watching from both inside and outside of the stadium, you knew you certainly could not do what you 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 wanted to do.

You have now grew to hate the fact that you and Leah were forced to hide your relationship, but Leah, as always, promised that you both would go public soon, it wasn't really for the clout, as people would assume. You just really wanted to show her off and hold her hand in public and in front of your friends.

You really did not care what people think of you two to get her, as long as you guys were content and happy, you didn't mind any of the hate you would receive.

But, as you and Leah said, you would wait a couple of months until the right moment to tell everyone.

7.

Your teammates were starting to speculate.

Beth was 100% sure that she saw the both of you kissing, which was true but you were a good enough liar to convince her that she was imaging stuff from how Drunk She was.

Everyone ha their own theory and it was getting a bit annoying to keep hiding your relationship.

You and Leah have had fights about this, but in the end you both came to the same conclusion that you needed to reveal your relationship.

You didn't care how you would do it, you just had to do it.

But, you were doing it after the euros, so both you and Leah could focus on your respective national teams. You, with the Spanish team and Leah with the lionesses.

Leah, obviously, knew about the situation at the Spanish camp so she made sure to call you every night.

It was the little things she does that made you fall more and more in love with her, and her little messages every now and then were really reassuring to you.

At the end, you knew that life would always lead you back to Leah, one way or another.

1.(the times where you didn't care.)

You were a sobbing mess on the field after the whistle blew, officially knocking your team out of the euros.

Instead of celebrating, Leah immediately made her way to you ,kneeling down in front of you and holding your head in her hands as she wiped the tears off of your red face.

"It's fine my love, I'm so sorry. You'll be fine. " she whispered timidly into your ear as you were still crying.

"Can you do one this for me, por favor? " you asked in between breathes. Leah quickly nodded, ready to do anything to help you calm down. "Kiss me? "

Without hesitation, Leah leaned in and connected your lips into the most perfect, magical kiss.

Your lips moulded perfectly together, as you both blocked out the sounds around you, only focusing on each other for the moment as your lips moved in sync almost too well.

Her hands had subconsciously moved to hold your cheeks and pull you in closer, the heated moment then got interrupted by Beth yelling in both of your ears as she ran towards Leah just as she pulled away.

"WHAT THE FUCK?I KNEW IT! " She pulled you and Leah up and planted your feet onto the field as she pulled both of you into a big hug .

Just as she pulled away, you got pulled I to multiple other hugs by both of your international teammates, all of them wishing well for both you and Leah.

2.

"Mum, this is my girlfriend, y/n."each said nervously to her mother as this was her fist time introducing you to each other.

"Girlfriend? Well isn't this lovely! " instead of shaking your extended hand, she pulled you in for a bone crushing hug that you gladly accepted as you were used to this kind of welcome in your home county.

"Come in, come in! "

Later that night at dinner, the questions began rolling in.

"So y/n, how serious are you about my Leah?" Amanda asked tentatively.

"I am very serious about her, I love her more than anything in the world. "

"When did you and Leah get together? "

"We have been together for about a year and three months "

"That long?! And you didn't tell me? " the last question was directed at her daughter.

"We weren't ready yet. " Leah replied immediately. She was heavily nervous for this day since it was planned.

"Why didn't you tell anyone about his sooner? Are you ashamed of my daughter? "

"mum ! We both agreed on this, it want just her. We didn't want to be in the spotlight. " Leah quickly jumped in to defend you against her mother's accusations.

Amanda raised her hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, sorry, I was just making sure. " she gave you a pointed look, you k ew exactly what it meant

It was the typical "don't you dare hurt my daughter " look.

You gave her a firm nod and a tight lipped smile as a response.

It was safe to day that the rest of the night went perfectly well, with Leah's mum giving in slowly to your Spanish charm, and accepting that you were going to be a permanent factor in Leah's life.

[enwoso]

Lovie copying Leah by not wanting to eat her food anymore and only wanting plain boring food and less is so confused until at training she sees Lovie asking for exaclty what Leah is having

TO BE LIKE — alessia russo x child!reader

grumpy masterlist

"lovie, why are you not eating your dinner?" alessia asked as you were sat in your seat with a plate of creamy chicken pasta and some side vegetables all of which you would usually eat and not leave a scrap.

however today, you hadn't even attempted to eat your dinner.

this wasn't the first time this had happened over the past couple of days you'd been on england camp with mummy and the rest of the squad. you'd only been eating your food if you'd chosen what it was to eat.

now by any means you had never been a picky eater. alessia had made sure that you were adventurous with what you ate, always making sure to let you try new foods. but you of course had the odd thing you didn’t like.

"don't like it." you pouted pushing the plate away from you as your mums eyebrows furrowed, alessia couldn't understand why you were being difficult.

"what don't you like?" she asked as she pushed the plate back in front of you, but you moved your face away from it not wanting it to be in front of you, answering your mummy's question by pointing to each individual thing on the plate.

"but mummy makes that when we are at home and you usually love it?" alessia says referring back to the times as you shook your head mumbling a small no. alessia taking a big deep breath as she tried quickly to find a solution.

"what do you want to eat then?"

"chicken nuggs and bread!" you smiled as alessia nodded getting up and going to ask the chef at england if there was anyway he could make you a plate of chicken nuggets. alessia deciding to not bother arguing with you over not eating the pasta and instead hoping this was just a small phase you were in and that within a week you'd be back eating all your favourite foods.

"leah, can you watch lovie while i go change this?" alessia asked, she being the one that was the closest to you, the england captain in the middle of eating her own dinner but agreeing nevertheless.

it wasn't a small phase, and it didn't last a week. it had now been two weeks since the england camp and alessia was back at training with arsenal, you accompanying her on the days you weren’t at nursery.

today was one of them days and it was the time of the day alessia had been dreading each day for the past few weeks, meal time. she’d let you go up with leah and beth and choose your own food, meaning she was able to avoid the tussle to get you to pick what you now liked.

“what you got then lovie?” alessia asked as you slipped in the seat next to your mummy, sitting on your knees so you were high enough to reach the table. beth carrying your plate for you, putting it in front of you once you were seated.

“today we’ve got plain pasta and some bread!” beth smiled as she sat down on the same table as the you and your mummy. alessia mouthing to beth, ‘with butter?’ as beth shook her head.

a slight grimace on your mums face as beth described your lunch, as you reached for a fork digging into your very colourless and plain pasta.

“at least she’s not pushing it away” alessia sighed as beth nodded humming in agreement, it was the small wins that mattered.

“hey kleintje!” vic giggled ruffling your hair as she passed sitting next to beth. you frowning at the dutch for messing your hair up, a peice of pasta hanging from your mouth.

“i see we’ve got a very colourful plate again” vic joked as alessia rolled her eyes at the dutches attempt at a joke. “you do realised she’s just copying what leah’s having, don’t you?” vic pointed out the groups eyes wandering to the blonde who was sat across the canteen and funnily enough you had exactly what leah was having. plain pasta and a slice of bread.

“no way, she is aswell!” beth laughed out loud as alessia blinked once trying to wrap her head around the fact of why you would want to eat such plain and boring foods. but it also making the pieces fit together for the past few weeks.

“why though?” alessia whispered thinking out loud. beth and vic both sharing a look that told alessia they didn’t have an answer before they both shrugged.

“the only way your gonna get your answer is by asking tiny herself!” beth pointed to you, as you were in your own little bubble now being onto eating your plain bread happily as your ipad played out the sound of the show you were watching.

so alessia decided to take beth’s advice and after another battle to figure out what to make you for your dinner that night it settling on a plate of potato smiley’s.

“lovie, can mummy ask you a question?” your mummy was sat opposite you at the dinner table, as you hummed and nodding your head, not being able to talk as your mouth was filled with potato.

“why are you eating really plain foods at the moment” she asked softly, the blonde putting her fork down on the side of her plate.

“i like it!” you answered simply, shrugging your shoulders. thinking that would be the end of the discussion but mummy wasn’t convinced as her eyebrows raised at the response.

“it’s just, i’ve noticed when at arsenal and england camps when it’s lunch and dinner time your eating very similarly to leah ” mummy pointed out as your face was a little shocked, your shoulders not looking a little more tense. “your not in trouble for it, i just wanna know why?” your mummy added.

“to be like leah” you answered so innocently as mummy nodded a pout coming onto her face as your sweet reply.

“lovie, you don’t have to do everything leah does. you can still be like leah and still like all the foods you love” mummy told you as you nodded timidly as a small smile creeped upon your face.

“so i can have chicken pasta?”

[mercurycft]

𝐔𝐆𝐇 — 𝐋.𝐖

## reader x leah williamson !! enemies to lovers

hiiiiiii pookies! hope you enjoy this little angsty smutty fic! hopefully ill have some more bits out for you guys over the next few weeks - life is just crazing atm and i spend 99% of my time at work :( anywayyyys - i hope you enjoy this! its a long one - love always - RG x

masterlist here

contains : NOT PROOF READ BC I CBA!!!! angst, enemies to lovers, arrogant!leah, top!leah, oral r receiving, fingering r receiving, caught red handed, foul language.

3.5k words

it's a hot may monday in london - the type of hot that sits at the back of your throat and grabs at your skin harshly. today, you wake up to the day’s first rays of sun peaking through the blinds, a stark contrast to the usual grey, early morning skies. you sigh into the space around you, already feeling sticky and uncomfortable as you roll over, your hand brushing against the empty space in your bed and reaching for your phone to silence your alarm.

you get up - against your will, and begin to get ready for your day. shuffling about your flat, nerves brewing in the pit of your stomach at the mere thought of having to walk into work today, you try to distract your mind. taking your time for your usual routine - overly aware that you have given yourself more time than needed.

it’s your first day back to work. your first full and proper day back in london, and you already find yourself wishing it was the last. you loved your job - loved the people you had met; the people who had become some of your closest friends in the entire world. you worked hard, got your degree and that led you here.

well, truth be told you like most of the people you've met.

leah williamson, however, did not fit into that category. she was arrogant, dismissive. the type of woman that always seemed to be looking down her nose at you - like she was better than you. you tried your hardest to like her; to look past her abrupt and oftentimes rude exterior and personality but you just couldn't.

the way she spoke to you, how she held herself whilst she walked around the grounds - god it had you riled up. nerves raging at the mere thought of being in the same room as her for a prolonged period of time. but alas, you had to remain professional.

you couldn't jeopardise your job, your income - to spite a woman who somehow seems to make it her life mission to aggravate and annoy you. so, instead, you smiled sweetly. spoke extra calmly, all in attempted to be the bigger person.

she didn't make it easy for you with her tanned skin and deep blue eyes - the accent which rolled off her lips gracefully and caused a smile to threaten at your lips every time she spoke.

you weren't the best at staying focused, clearly. finding yourself staring absentmindedly into the bathroom mirror, toothbrush still between your lips whilst the thought of her trickled through the depths of your mind. disgust and attraction tangoed in your stomach; rattling around your organs until you finally ripped your eyes away and continued to get ready.

an hour later you were in the carpark, head leant against the headrest and hands still fixed at the 10 and 2 positions. you spent the next few minutes preparing yourself - taking deep breaths and assuring yourself you would be calm and collected from the minute you walked in.

so you were, armed with your bag slung over your shoulder and a ring-binder tucked beneath your arm you entered - smiling at the few familiar faces around you; all kitted out in their newest and finest training kits. they were earlier than usual, some of them having arrived last night and a couple this morning.

in an ideal world, you would've had time to settle into your day before she arrived. but this is clearly not an ideal world. after exchanging pleasantries with the girls loitering in the foyer, you said a brief and collective goodbye and headed towards your office.

through the double doors, round to the right and through the hallway. it wasn't far, but by the time you had rounded the corner your shoulder had began to ache from your bag and the folder had started to jab into your side. you knew the route like th eback of your hand, having wandered through these halls on numerous occasions after the last few years.

so, your head stayed tucked into your phone. too focused on the screen below you to notice the body slumped against the wall beside your office door, or the way it shifted to face you as you neared.

"you're late." you knew who it was before your eyes even lifted to meet theirs.

"williamson, to what do i owe this pleasure?" you exhaled, rolling your eyes out of view when you turned to unlock your door.

"you're late."

"your watch is fast."

this was usually how your interactions went, you tried to keep them to a minimum - but when you did talk, this was pretty much the usual.

"have you had a chance to look over the new schedules yet? i've had them emailed to you." she continued, paying to mind or attention to anything previously spoken.

"oh yes, please come in." you sneered as she followed into the room behind. you flicked on the lights and put your folder down on the desk, along with your bag. they hit the wood with a thud and you turned around to face her as she continued speaking.

"well, did you?"

"considering you just watched me walk in, what do you think?" you threw back with a raised eyebrow and a wide expression.

"arsehole." she muttered as she left, turning away from you like a toddler and almost swinging the door off of its hinges on her way out.

"oh captain williamson how you have hurt me. prick." you whispered below your breath sarcastically, face screwed up in a childish manner as you slumped into your seat with a grumble.

it wasn't always like this, bitter and short. there was a time when you and leah actually managaed to tolerate eachother, you were almost friends. then, when leah suffered her ACL injury - the dynamic did a full flip. she was knocked by the full force of her harsh, new reality. she was angry at the world, angry that the one thing she loved most was ripped from beneath her feet in a matter of seconds.

you, in charge of her recovery, were the closest and clearly most obvious thing to blame - so she did. every set back, every minor issue - was thrown onto you and your apparant incompetance to care for your players, your team. you paid it no mind, plagued with sympathy for her.

you had assumed once she recovered and her time spent rebuilding her strength was completed, that maybe she was ease up. that she would stop the snide comments or glaring stares across the room. you assumed wrong. instead she insisted on acting like a child, everyday. at first you tried to rise above, not letting her have an affect on you but everytime she spoke you felt your stomach physiclaly recoiling; twisting with anger. so eventually, you came to terms with it and you stopped taking it.

——————

the day drags on, your various appointments come and go and you can finally feel the end of the day nearing. people had started popping their heads in to say goodbye's and exchange see you tomorrow's and now it was just you and a few others who remained in the building. today had dragged and the thought of your bed was the only thing keeping you going. it was nearly 6pm when you had finally finished the reports and notes you needed to complete and just as you start to gather up your things the door ahead of you flies open.

“are you taking the piss?” leah. you inhale deeply at the sound of her voice bellowing through the room - careful to remind yourself of where you are.

“hm?” you dont even look up, seemingly unbothered by her presence and still flicking through the documents and papers littered across your desk. you can feel her fume from across the space, the humorous thought of her literally bursting into flames threatens a pinched smile to tug at your lips.

“i’ve been ringing you since lunch!”

“oh, i haven’t noticed.”

“why do you have to make it your daily goal to fuck me off, y/n!” she pauses and a weighted silence brews between you. “funnily enough it’s actually your job to pick up your phone!” she continues, hands waving about beside her. “especially when it’s me calling you! don’t you think that when you see my name flash up, that maybe you should fucking answer. your. pho-”

“no, leah!” your hands hit the desk palm flat with a smack, the fire behind your eyes fuelled by the sting across the skin. she’s loud, but you can be louder. “i dont, because funnily enough, i don’t answer to you!”

after starting you couldn’t stop, eight months of tongue biting and insult swallowing has come back to bite you in the back side - and now, the words came vomiting out with no sight of when they will stop.

“you don’t pay my wages!” you hold one finger up, pointing at her viciously. “you don’t get to come in here and bark orders at me!” quick breath. “you may be ‘captain williamson’ out there, on that pitch.” your finger moves to point out the window at the grassy area beyond the building. “but in here, through that door-” it moves to punctuate your sentence. “you are just leah! and i don’t know what gives you the right to come in here, day in day out and berate me!”

"you know thats-"

"all i do is listen to you speak, and comment and now fucking shout at me! in my office! and i am sick. sick! of hearing your voice ringing in my ears because you think you are better than everyone else! well earth to leah - the sun doesn't shine out of your fucking arse!"

too consumed by the anger radiating between you and the words flying off your tongue, you hadn't noticed how you had now moved from the safety of your desk. instead, you stood no more than a metre before her. skin on fire as you stared into her eyes and let all of the compressed anger bubble to the surface.

you both shared a moment of hefty quiet, chests heaving in sync as you collected your thoughts and your mouth opened again.

"you are rude." a step closer. "you are arrogant." another. "you are nasty." one more. "and you are truly, utterly and entirely a giant pain in my arse." you had travelled closer than intended during your rant, and now you stood inches from her. jaw clenched and breath shuddering when your eyes levelled once more.

the rage you felt overpowered every ounce of logic left in your brain, and you felt a wave of disgust crash over you when you found yourself softening at the smell of her sweet, vanilla perfume.

you were adamant this time, this was the last time she spoke to you like that. of the last time she spoke to you at all, you didn't really care.

"you're a bitch." she spat back into the small and enclosed space between you. you felt your breath catch in your throat as you realise that there may well be a possibility she's right.

maybe its the adrenaline pumping through your veins and intoxicating your bloodstream, or maybe its the way her hair has started to fall in front of her eyes as she heaves for breath in front of you, but t he air feels electric, and you sense the same awareness in her.

without a word exchanged, she steps forward and reaches for you. you don't know what you expected - but instead of pushing you away she pulls you towards her. you stumble slightly, unable to shake off her grip and leaning into her fingertips unintentionally.

there's a pause, a shift.

the air surrounding you suddenly too thick to inhale, grazing the back of your throat as your lungs are deprived of their need for oxygen. her eyes bore into your own, and you're sure, just for a split second - a wicked smirk pulls her lips into a lopsided and overly cocky line.

then she's on you, her lips against yours - fierce, unforgiving. you move with no real method, lips fighting against each other and teeth clashing. her teeth pull against your bottom lip roughly and you hiss, stomach contorting at the feel of her smile against the now sensitive skin of your lips.

you shouldn't want this, this shouldn't be happening. the little voice inside your head, the voice of reason is silenced when her hands move to your waist - gripping at the fabric of your top and leading you backwards towards your desk. your lips don't leave hers, worried if you come up for air you'll miss even a moment of this.

the edge of your desk hits the back of your thighs, and shes quick to hoist you up to perch on the surface. your legs spread and her frame holding ground between your thighs, your hands grabbing at whatever skin they could find as she kissed you feverishly.

her hands roam under your shirt and caress the skin of your back roughly - her soft skin juxtaposed with the way the pads of her fingertips graze across the small area. you busy your hands by sliding up the back of her thighs, feeling the skin uncovered by the shirts she adorns. you drag your nails against her urgently, encouraged by the way she moans into your mouth, her hands gripping your back and pulling your front against her.

begrudgingly breaking the kiss, she trails kisses along your jaw, nipping at your ear roughly with a grunt, and then down your neck. she can taste the salty sweetness of the skin, her own stomach flipping when you arch your neck to give her better access. your hands now wrapped around the back of her neck and twisting into the short hairs that reside there. your breath comes in short bursts as she continues the attack on your skin, hitching when you feel her teeth graze along the skin of your throat and her tongue following in their path to soothe the area.

she pauses as you gasp, her fingertips finding the hem of your top and toying with it before she lifts it up and over your head. you hear a grumble rise from the depths of her throat at the sight of you tucked into a pale lace bra, her hands quick to tug the fabric down and expose your breasts - the wave of air causing your nipples to harden.

you pull her down towards you, encouraging her mouth as she took one in. swirling her tongue around it and sucking gently. your chest rose into her, begging her for more when she bit down softly - a jagged cry slipping past your lips. she continued like this for a few more minutes, working you up with her tongue and fingers as she flicked and alternated between your nipples.

your bliss was interrupted by her hand flat against your collarbones, pushing you down until your back laid flat against your desk - not caring for the way the sheets crumpled beneath the weight of you.

she didn't give you time to catch your breath, instead she continued her path of kisses and sloppy tongue movements down the length of your body until she knelt on the carpet below you. her thumbs dipped into the waist of your trousers and underwear and began to tug them down your legs, her mouth attached to every part of the skin she revealed until she had them pulled down and pooling around your ankles.

she takes the moment to admire you from this angle, the way your skin creases and your chest rises and falls. your hair littering the space on the desk around you and hands firmly clenched beside your frame.

you're too concerned with studying the ceiling above you to catch the smirk settling across her lips again when she notices how you glisten in the light - her face level with your very evident desperation.

the fingers gripping your thighs were warm and strong as if she was trying to permanently transfer her fingertips onto your skin. her hot breath made your skin tingle and your core ache, you lifted your hips up towards her, pussy clenched tightly around the nothingness as your mind filled with vulgar images of her lips wrapped around you, her tongue on you.

as if she could read your mind, her tongue darted out to lick you lightly - her arousal clouding her mind when you moaned, pressing your hips forward into the source of the friction, begging her for more.

"fuck," she practically purred, her voice low and sultry.

she gave in again for just a second, allowing her tongue to lay flat against your clit - savouring the way she felt your clit pulse and throb against her tongue before pulling away and swallowing you entirely.

you don't have time to complain before she's on you again, her tongue teasing your sensitive clit. circling the nerves gently before pulling away with a little suck and then diving back in to repeat the process again. you try to stay quiet, hand laid against your mouth in an attempt to muffle the noises that you couldn't fight away. the odd moan or whimper tumbling from your lips cautiously.

completely consumed by the way her tongue flicked across your bundle of nerves, you hadn't noticed when she removed one of her hands from your thigh. you did notice, however, when you felt her push a single finger into you - her pussy clenching around her digit and a guttural moan slipping past the skin of your hand.

your body felt as if it had been set ablaze, every nerve ending on fire, every muscle taut and aching for release. when she feels your relax around her, she begins to move her finger in and out of you, slowly at first, then with increasing speed and urgency. her tongue continues its relentless assault on your clit, circling and teasing until you're sure you'll go insane from the need. your hips arch off the bed and your hand grips the edge of the desk beside you, as you meet her thrusts with your own rhythm, breath coming in ragged gasps.

you reach down, gripping her hair tightly, urging her to go deeper, faster. you feel her moan against your skin, her breath hot as it fans across the exposed skin of your pussy. you feel her finger curl, hitting that spot deep inside you that sends shudders of pleasure through your entire body. you're so close, so impossibly close, but you need more. you need her.

you arch your back, lifting your hips closer to her touch as you beg, "harder, please." the words are barely out of your mouth when you feel her press a second finger inside you, stretching you, filling you in a way that feels both foreign and achingly familiar.

her fingers move in tandem with her tongue, curling and thrusting in a perfect rhythm with the hand between your legs. you're lost in the sensation, your mind a haze of pleasure and need. too lost to remember where you are as the coil in your stomach tightens and twists at the pressure of her fingers inside you.

as if sensing your rapidly approaching release, she leans back, her breath hot against your leg. chin glistening with your arousal. "that's it, love. let go."

her fingers move faster when she feels your legs start to shake beside her head as you feel yourself begin to unravel, the tension coiling in your belly finally giving way to a powerful orgasm that sweeps through you in waves. your body convulses, your muscles tensing and releasing as pleasure ripples through you.

you cry out her name, your voice raw and desperate, as you arch your back and come apart in her hands. she murmurs words of encouragement, her breath warm against your skin, her fingers relentless in their pace. and then, finally, she slows, withdrawing her fingers from you, allowing you to catch your breath.

you both sit in an oddly comfortable silence together, inhales mirrored between you both whilst you try and navigate what just happened.

before either of you can speak, or even figure out what to say - the silence is interrupted by a knock against the door beyond you both. you raise up into a sitting position almost quicker than the speed of sound, leah lifting into a standing position between your still-spread legs with a finger pressed against her lips to silence you and wide eyes.

neither of you speaks, trying to breathe silently at the revelation of a body on the other side of the door.

"by the way, this office is not soundproof.." the voice speaks out through the door, their words barely coherent through their laughs. the pair of you now embarrassed and wanting the earth to open and swallow you whole at the presence of your friends outside the room.

"shit.."

"shit.."

[pitchsidestories]

looks can be misleading II Beth Mead x Vivianne Miedema x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1928

a/n: the inspiration for this oneshot came from this adorable request here.

Playing for Arsenal had always been your dream, even as a little child. But now that you were actually here, at the Arsenal Training Centre, reality looked much different. You hated everything.

From the way the other players stared at you, taking in your tattooed arms when you were first introduced to team to the fact that they never seemed to shut up and kept yelling at each other.

As a person who liked it quiet and to keep to herself, it was all too much, too loud. Your social battery had been empty before the warm-up was even over.

So while your new teammates stayed on the training pitch, chatting away, you headed for the shower. Maybe if you were fast enough, you had a few quiet moments to yourself.

You could even be done before the others joined. You walked with quick, impatient steps towards the dressing room, missing the conversation right behind you.

“What do you guys think about the new girl?”, Leah asked the others, genuine curiosity in her voice.

Kim shrugged with a small smile: “I like that she doesn’t talk much.“

“Of course you do.“, Lia laughed, bumping her arm against the smaller midfielders.

“Hey!“, Kim protested.

Laura chimed in, the sweetest smile on her lips: “I like her. She’s so mysterious and her tattoos are cool.“

Katie eyed the young Austrian like she just said the most stupid thing she ever heard: “Nah, I think she’s a bit weird, ye know?”

“I think I agree. She didn’t even say hello when Jonas introduced her.“, Leah stated.

Beth who had been listening quietly, assured her teammates: “We’ll tell you how she’s with us at home.“

“Good luck with her.“, Manu grinned at her.“You know, I’ve gathered quite some experience with quiet, broody women.“ She inconspicuously nodded towards her girlfriend.

With a frown, Vivianne turned to her: “Wait, are you talking about me?”

“Who else would I be talking about, babe?”

Viv rolled her eyes with clear fondness for girlfriend: “Time to go home. Bye, guys.“

“Bye.“, their teammates echoed in unison. 

Beth and Vivianne were the ones that you would stay with until your own flat was ready to move in. If that meant days or weeks, who knew.

At least their apartment was close to the training centre and you had their guest room to yourself.

Sitting on your bed, you enjoyed being in your own company for a moment. A very short moment as you came to realize.

“Y/n? Do you want to come down and cook dinner with us?”, Beths called for you, her voice echoing from the walls and you wondered if the neighbours had heard her too.

You didn’t want to. But you also didn’t want to seem impolite so you joined them in their kitchen.

“I’m not great at cooking…“, you admitted.

“No problem, we can do this together.”, Beth assured you with an encouraging smile.

“Okay, sure.”, you shrugged.

“It’s easy.”, Viv added.

“Yes, you can start with cutting some veggies.”, her girlfriend advised you in an uplifting tone.

While you did as she said the Dutch woman cleared her throat nervously. “How did you like your first training session y/n?”

“Good.”, you answered monosyllabically as you focused on cutting the vegetables in front of you.

“And how do you like London? Do you have any family close by?”, Beth wanted to know curiously.

“I haven’t seen enough of the city yet to say if I like it and no, my family isn’t from here.”, you revealed. From the way you phrased your answer it was clear that you preferred to not talk about your familiar relations.  

“Oh.”, the blonde muttered surprised.

The rest of the cooking and dinner passed uneventfully. During the dinner Beth tried to get you to talk a little bit more, but that turned out to be unsuccessful.

“I’m going to bed, good night you two.”, you announced once you were done with eating.

“Good night, y/n. See you tomorrow.”, the English forward chirmed. She watched you leaving the kitchen with a loud sigh.

“She’s truly intimidating, Beth.”, Viv whispered when you were out of ear-sight. An amused twinkle was in her light eyes.

“Even you think so?”, Beth chuckled, resting the head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Reluctantly the Dutch player put an arm around the smaller woman. For a moment she paused before admitting thoughtfully. “No, I think what she really needs is time, it’s not easy to be the new girl in the team.”

“You would know, huh?”, the English forward gave her a teasing smile.

“Yes, I do actually.”, Viv acknowledged, pressing a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s blonde hairline.

In the past she had quite often confessed that the beginning of her Arsenal career was quite tough for her.

As a young foreign girl who already had made herself known in the national team the Dutch forward had to accustomed to a new country, different playing style and a fresh pressure which came with playing for such a big club.

“We’ll see.”, Beth answered hoping her girlfriend was right about you.

“Morning y/n.”, she greeted you warmly the next morning, next to her the young dog was already bouncing excitedly.

“Morning.”, you mumbled suppressing a yawn. It was clear for everyone that you were in desperate need of some caffeine.

“We’re taking Myle on a walk. Would you like to come with us? We can get coffee or something.”, the blonde offered smiling friendly.

“Uhm okay.”

“You don’t have to, obviously.”, Viv added quickly.

“No, I do.”, you smiled shily at them.

The couple seemed happy that you accepted their offer. You all shrugged on jackets and left for a stroll around the neighbourhood.

Beth and Viv walked slightly in front of you, politely giving you your own space while Beth kept talking and Vivianne just listened. You were perfectly fine just taking everything in and watching Myles’ floppy ears bounce with every step. You could feel a smile tug on the corner of your mouth.

When you reached the coffee shop, you offered to wait outside with Myle. Patiently, you sat at a table outside and rubbed your hands together. It was an unusually cold morning. Even the little dog at your feet seemed to shiver slightly in the cold air, despite the thick brown fur.

“Come here.“, you mumbled to yourself as you gently pulled Myle onto your lap, in hopes that your body warmth would help. She immediately curled up on your lap and let you pet her.

“Your puppy is really cute.“, you said softly as your two teammates reemerged from the coffee shop, steaming cups in their hands.

Beths’ face lit up as soon as she saw you two together: “Oh, looks like she likes you already.“

Myle lifted her head as if she was listening attentively.

You could feel your cheeks heating up: “She was getting cold so I warmed her…“

“That’s sweet of you. You like milk and sugar with your coffee, right?”, Beth smiled and pushed a cup of coffee towards you.

You gratefully reached for it, wrapping your hands around the warm drink. “I do. How did you get that?”

“I was hoping for the best. It was either that or black coffee.“, Beth laughed as she took the chair next to yours.

You sipped on your coffee and smiled: “Not bad.“

“Oh, so she can smile!”, Beth exclaimed happily.

You grimaced, slightly embarrassed.

"This is your and Myles' achievement, Beth.”, Vivianne told her girlfriend.

Beth laughed again and you had to admit, you could actually get used to that sound. “I think Myle deserved the majority of the credit.“

“She’s just so cute.“, you mumbled as you looked down at the puppy on your lap.

“Yes, she is.“, Beth agreed, her eyes wandering from Myle to your face.

There was something intense in her gaze and it made you immediately feel insecure, the blush creeping back into your cheeks, so you set the little dog down and got up from your seat, indicating that you would like to continue your walk. “Let’s go.“

Even though you were in London for almost a week now, you still preferred to run your laps away from others in training. You couldn’t focus on yourself when everyone kept talking. Besides, you didn’t care much for the gossip anyway that was so willingly shared during the warm-up.

As you ran by yourself, you didn’t hear any of the conversation Beth was having with her teammates on the other side of the pitch.

“Wait, are you serious, Beth? Are you still talking about her over here.“, Leah asked as she jogged alongside her teammate. She subtly nodded in your general direction.

“Leah! Of course I’m talking about her. She’s such a sweetheart once you get to know her.“

“One could think you’ve a crush on her, Beffy.”, Steph teased the friend grinning.

“I mean.”, the English forward run her free hand nervously through her blonde hair.

“Stephs not wrong here.”, Alessia commented with a cheeky smile.

“She’s kind of cute, don’t you think?”, Beth turned her head to look at her girlfriend, searching for the confirmation she needed.

“No, I do.”, Viv agreed.

“Well, this is going to be interesting.”, Kim remarked with a meaningful glance toward the couple.

The piece of their talk you did hear left you almost speechless.  “Wait, what?”, you interrupted them stunned.

“Oh, y/n.”, Beth sighed softly.

“I forgot my cleats I’ll be right back.”, you lied, you were desperate to get out of this uncomfortable situation as quick as possible.

“Shit.”, the Dutch forward cursed under her breath. There was a mutual understanding between Viv and her lover that didn’t need words, so they quietly followed you into the changing room.

“Y/n? If you feel more at ease not living at our home your place is ready.”, the younger of the two offered heavy heartedly.  

“Yeah, I’ll move out.”, you decided unable to look into their sad eyes.

“Sorry, for our teammates talk from earlier.”, Beth apologized biting her lip guiltily.

“Beth, Viv, stop.”, you demanded.

“We’ll leave.”, Viv nodded.

“No, I want to tell you something,. I like you two .. like a lot.”, you confessed it took all your bravery to say these words out loud.

You know your looks could be misleading, they made you appear tough: your muscles and tattoos were like your armour against a world which hasn’t always treated you with the kindness you and everyone really deserved.

But you were tired of being alone and the two women showed you a way to break out of the loneliness.

“We like you two.”, the Dutch woman assured you earnestly.

“Y/n, what are you trying to say?”, the blonde asked confused by the turn this discussion took.

“I don’t know what I’m trying to say, that’s the problem.”, you admitted.

“That’s okay.”, Beth replied.

“I guess thanks for everything. I’ll get my stuff later.”, you smiled sadly at them.

“Actually, Viv paused a second before continuing, you could stay with us.”

“Really? To be honest I’d like to stay at your home.”, you looked up surprised.

“Our home.”, Viv corrected you as Beth pulled you into a tight group hug.

“We got to keep her.”, the blonde hummed happily.

“Beth, I’m not Myle!”, you protested.

“No, but you’re just as cute.”, she answered giving you a kiss to your cheek which immediately turned red.

Despite the banter these two and the dog were the closet thing you had to call home.

[ambswoso]

could've been - leah williamson

seeing leah for the first time since you'd broken up couldn’t have fell on a better night, your sisters wedding.

5.3k words shes longggg

first fic please be kind. should i have been completing a 7000 word essay and not this? yes.

leah williamson x mead!reader

here you were, in the back seat of a very expensive car sat next to your sister, holding a bouquet of flowers pulling up to a large stately home. only it wasn’t your wedding, it was beth and viv’s. once upon a time, it might’ve been your wedding, but that dream had long been pushed to the back of your mind. you were here to support your best friend on the happiest day of her life, and that’s it.

“you ready?” your head turned, and beth was already smiling at you, lip between her teeth. “she would’ve been so proud of you bethy, she would’ve loved to be here.” you say, taking beth’s hand in your own, feeling the tight squeeze she gave it as a thank you.

“let’s do this, before viv changes her bloody mind.” beth tries her best to lighten the mood and it works, slightly. she knows what’s on your mind and it isn’t just the thought of your mum not being present today. 

you both exit the car, walking towards the doors of the large manor. it made you feel so small walking through the large double doors and into the ceremony room, with beth just behind you. as the procession music began, all eyes turned to you. the huge building was nothing compared to how small you felt when you saw a certain pair of blue eyes watching you. even after all this time, they refused to blend into the crowd making this short walk down the aisle feel hours long.

you were stood at the front as you watched your sister make her way after you. vivianne’s eyes lit up as the love of her life made her way towards her, and you could’ve sworn you saw her wipe away a tear at one point, which she would vehemently deny to both you and beth later. you took the opportunity to glance around the room at the people who’d been invited to share this day. those same baby blue eye’s catching you off guard when you found them looking straight at you instead of at beth. a small smile was sent your way and a blush emerged on her cheeks as she realised shed been caught admiring you, you simply sent her one back.

on the outside you were calm and cordial, this was your sister’s wedding day. the inside was a whole different story. you felt a pit in your stomach, and you couldn’t tell whether it was simply gut-wrenching anxiety or if it was much worse, butterflies. thoughts that this could’ve been the two of you swirled your head, making you dizzy, but they soon got pushed away when your sister reached you and viv. you sent her a final smile and a squeeze of the arm as she handed her flowers to you, and you took your seat. 

beth and viv stood and exchanged their vows. their love exuded from the words they spoke to each other; you were quite certain everyone in the room could feel it. your heart swelled with pride and adoration for both women stood before you and you could feel the tears welling in your eyes as much as you tried to keep them at bay. 

beth was your role model, always. you put her on a pedestal from the moment you knew how to talk. she could do no wrong.  as much as your parents had been amazing all through your childhood and up to now, it was beth that you had always truly admired. she was your older sister; how could you not want to be like her? it sometimes came out in lightly annoying ways though. like when she was 15 and you were 12 and you wore her favourite t-shirt to own clothes day at school without asking because you wanted to be just like her and ended up spilling pasta sauce all down it. when beth found you in the school bathroom frantically dabbing at the top with a wet tissue, she was livid, but she took one look at the pout on your face and tried her very best to help you get the sauce out and when it didn’t work, she wrapped her jacket around you to save you any further embarrassment. 

you and beth held each other up always, being each other’s rocks when your mother passed away last year. you’d both been there through everything. you held beth up when she tore her acl, with a little help from viv, and beth held you up when you lost who you thought was the love of your life. you knew you’d put beth in an uncomfortable position, but she didn’t care, it was always you over anyone. although, you had a little competition with viv in that department these days.

the ceremony went off without a hitch, your sister and viv were now married. as they both left to have their photos taken, you were now left with beth’s teammates and closest friends. you were always close with the girls from arsenal and england ever since your sister started playing for both teams. you were her little shadow following her to training or cheering the loudest in the stands.  you’d withdrawn from your old friends, not wanting to put anyone in an uncomfortable position, only interacting through an instagram comment or an occasional dm when things went well. 

“hi chick!” steph approached you, giving you a tight and comforting hug, “you look as beautiful as ever.” you thanked her, telling her she did too, and it was only a matter of seconds before the rest of the girls noticed that steph was speaking to you, rushing over themselves.

you were overwhelmed by how many happy faces you saw and the number of questions that were launched at you all at once. you tried your best to keep up with them all as they asked you question after question about your move and your job. 

“oh this is kyra!” alessia introduced as you gave kyra a quick smile and wave, “and this is emily.” you repeated the same action youd just made towards kyra. “heard a lot about you both its lovely to finally meet you!” the smile that was present on your lips quickly faded as a certain blonde returned from the phone call she had to make.

“well i better go, bridesmaid duties to attend to.” you sent a polite smile towards the group and promised to find some of the girls later, hoping the conversations and question would feel a little less awkward after one (or several) drinks. 

“well jesus leah, she definitely doesn’t like you.” kyra let out a loud chuckle at the obvious uncomfortable tension between yourself and leah, not knowing the history that went back four years. leah shoved her away from her as she watched you walk away, over to your best friend.

“oh my god, i think im going to be sick.” you held your stomach as you finally reached your best friend. “why the fuck did i think i could go the whole day and just be fine?”

“you’re okay. you didn’t even speak to her.”

“well if i did speak to her i might actually throw up so that’s probably for the best.” 

“look, its done now. just speak to the other girls when they’re not with her, then you’ll be fine. oh, and you should most definitely have a shot.” she pulled a flask out of her bag, never failing to surprise you. 

“youre joking me, right?” you scoffed but still taking the flask out of her hand and very quickly taking a swig before pulling it back and wincing. “definitely needed it.”

“lets just not talk about her and you can stop thinking about her.” you tried to listen to her as she messed around with putting her flask back into her bag and taking her lipstick out of her bag to reapply but your eyes glanced over to the group you were just standing with.

you watched as leah kept quiet, her hands firmly in her pockets. you wondered if she still had the ring you’d given her on your first anniversary, if she still wore it maybe. she loved that ring, never took it off even once when you were together unless it was football related. whenever you came to a game and they won, she’d subtly kiss the spot where that ring usually lay and you’d melt every single time.

“hey, what did i just say?” your friend nudged you and you shrugged. “no talking about her and no thinking about her, now lets go. we have some partying to do. actually, do you know if any if beth’s friends are single?” you laughed loudly as she linked your arms and dragged you into the room where the reception was taking place and more importantly, where the bar was.

leah’s head raised at the laugh she knew all too well. her favourite sound in the world to this day. what she would do to be the reason you laughed like that again. you’d laughed like that at her reaction to the gift you’d bought her for your first anniversary. you and leah had agreed to no presents and both of you obviously ignored that. she’d pretended to be shocked at the expensive, thoughtful gift but the love and adoration she felt for you and it were real. that same expensive and thoughtful gift still lay on the hand nestled in her pocket. she tried not to wear it too much these days but some days her finger just felt bare without it, especially today.  

slowly but surely all the guests made their way through to the reception room. you were sat at the head of the table and it was just your luck that the table directly opposite you housed beth’s teammates. your gaze did not falter once, you kept it focused on your meal and whoever was speaking on your table, you did not need another slip up with leah today. 

“hi everyone, thank you for coming.” viv announced through the microphone. it was speech time. you felt your palms sweat as you mentally prepared to pour your heart out in front of this many people. “we didn’t really want to do much if the sappy stuff so we got y/n to do it for us. lets give it up.”

you giggled at viv and stood up, taking the microphone from her as the room cheered and clapped. this time you had no choice but to glance at the table in front of you as you heard katie chanting your name, sending her a quick grin.

you cleared your throat before you started speaking. “hi everyone, it's lovely to see you all celebrating beth and vivianne's special day. for those of you that don't know, i used to be beth's favourite person but i think i've been pushed to second place as of late so thank you for that viv.” beth rolled her eyes as the room laughed. “but seriously, i'm beth's little sister.” you took a mini bow. 

“i've seen people come and go out of beth's life, some i was grateful for and some i wish would've stuck around but there's no one i'm more grateful to for sticking around than viv. seeing a light on my sisters face that i haven't seen in years makes my heart swell every single day so thank you.” you shot viv a smile as you glanced from your paper to the couple and around the room. your gaze caught direct contact with leahs but you shook it off and drew your attention back to your speech.

“i remember the day beth burst through the doors of my flat panicking that viv was never going to ask her out and she was absolutely adamant that she wasn't going to be the one to do it, that she was going to wait for viv. so you can imagine my surprise when a week later, beth rang me to tell me she'd got a little bit impatient and ended up asking vivianne out.” you reminisced fondly. what the audience didn’t know was that leah was with you experiencing the same memory. her and beth were the only ones on the room that knew it was a shared conversation between three, not two. the corners of leahs mouth twitched as she recalled beth’s frantic state. it was you that seemed like the older sister in that moment, not beth.

 “i had the same conversation with beth about 9 months ago, only this time she was talking about a much more serious question that needed asking. trust me when i tell you that beth was doubly adamant she was not going to be asking this question, so obviously i expected her to let me know in a couple weeks’ time that she'd done it again, that she'd bitten the bullet and asked. and lo and behold i did get a phone call from someone telling me they'd asked the question and thank god that it was viv instead of beth because i don't think she would've ever let you live that one down vivianne.” you look down to your left where beth was sat and saw her chuckling to herself and nudging viv as if to agree.

“beth has always been my biggest inspiration in life.” you cleared your throat again as you felt your voice waver and a tear form in the corner of your eye. you wiped at your eye, composing yourself quickly. “i’ve always been her biggest admirer for a lot of things but right now the thing i admire most is that she's truly herself. i've only ever seen beth truly be herself around a handful of people in my life, our family, her teammates and you, viv. she is truly marrying her best friend, which is so important. you're marrying someone who makes you laugh, and its the really ugly laugh beth has where she starts snorting and crying. you're marrying someone who wants to be there for you through your best and worst times, and has been and has somehow made the worst times that little bit easier just by being there.” beth squeezed your hand.

“that's all anyone can really ask for in life, and you two have found it. what people wouldn't give to have a love like yours. a love where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable, where you can truly be yourself and where you are loved for exactly that. i used to daydream about what my wedding would look like one day but now all i would want is just to have the same love that you two share.” you look up from your paper to peak at the audience. you found leahs eyes immediately. the both of you knew what you meant when you spoke about dreaming of your wedding. the wedding you thought you’d be one day sharing with leah, that never came to be.

“i'm a very firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and it's when i get to experience days like this and witness pure and true love that it really embeds that phrase into my mind even more. a person i knew who would've given anything to witness this day, would've said the same thing as me, my mum” you felt beths hand tighten around yours as yet again your voice wavered. “oof, im sorry, emotional day.” you spoke out to ease the emotion in the room at the mention of your late mother and dabbed at the tears slowly falling from your eyes. “she would've said ‘you two were meant to be together, everything that’s happened has led you two to be together. i knew from the very start that you'd be together forever’ and she would've been right as per usual. she would've been so proud of both of you as am i but i know she's watching and probably cursing dad for the shoe choice he's made today.”

you composed yourself for a moment. between speaking about your mother and the love that beth and viv shared, it was all becoming a lot for you. you once thought that you and leah shared this same love, in fact you were sure of it. her obvious gaze felt heavy on you as you continued your speech. 

“beth has tried to teach me a lot of things over the years but this might be the one thing i take away and actually listen to for once. that when you find your someone, you don't let them go. if you find your safe space in a person, you should keep a hold of them forever and some people don't” leah felt her heart drop as you looked directly at her. “but thank god the two of you have. i'd like to raise a glass, and i'm sure there will be several more raised through the night so pace yourselves everybody, but for now a toast to my two sister's beth and vivianne.”

you grabbed a tissue from your bag and wiped under your eyes. "right, that was extremely soppy of me. i promise you i'm normally hilarious and a lot less emotional. cheers!' you grabbed your flute of champagne and necked it as everyone raised their glasses and you sat back into your chair.

“that was perfect y/n/n.” beth spoke to you.

“yeah thank you, y/n. there was obviously no better woman for the job.” viv reached over to squeeze your shoulder in thanks. 

“y/n/n? are you okay?” beth questioned as youd yet to react to their words other than a small smile.

‘yeah, i’m fine bethy don’t worry about me, i’m just going to get some air though.” you shot her a smile as you removed yourself from the room to step out into back gardens of the house. 

beth wasn’t stupid, she knew today wasn’t easy for you. as she married the love of her life, you were coming face to face with yours again for the first time in around a year and a half. seeing leah again and under these circumstances was clearly having an effect on you. beth wanted to follow you but she knew you would’ve scolded her and sent her right back inside, not wanting to draw any attention away from either her or viv on their day. 

you stepped outside and made your way to a little patch of the gardens you’d seen earlier, wanting to take a seat amidst the trees and flowers for a moment. you just needed to compose yourself for a minute then you’d go back inside, back to avoiding leah at all costs. 

“you always did have a way with words.” a voice appeared behind you, a voice that still sent a shiver down your spine, despite not having heard it in person for over a year.

you sucked in a breath, not even turning to face her as you shifted on the bench. “what do you want, leah?” you felt her sit next to you. she wasn’t close and you could still feel the heat radiating off her but you still refused to look up. “just wanted to see if you were okay. i know todays been a lot”.

a scoff and laugh escaped your lips, “you don’t know anything. i haven’t seen you for a year.” you finally turned to look at her.

leah knew you’d be emotional today and seeing her probably didn’t help but she couldn’t help herself, she needed to talk to you. she missed you. “i know but that doesn’t mean i don’t still know you.” she waited to see if you’d respond, maybe jump down her throat again and when you didn’t she continued. “your speech was beautiful by the way, even shed a tear or two of my own.”

maybe you’d been a bit harsh on her, i mean here she was trying to make you feel better. you could handle a friendly conversation with her, right? “thanks, not like you to cry so i must’ve done something right.”

the wind blew slightly, blowing your hair out of your face as a silence enveloped the two of you. leah couldn’t bare the thought of the conversation coming to an end so she did what the two of you never had to do, she made small talk.

“how’s barcelona then?” she inquired, not knowing whether to broach the subject or not. you didn’t seem to mind her bringing it up as you shrugged, “it’s fine, its good. it’s far from home and i miss everyone but its okay. at least the weathers better.”

“and the job?” you’d decided pretty early on in life that you wanted your job to be involved in football, but unfortunately you weren’t as talented as your sister in that department so you settled for the next best thing and fell in love with it. you’d been a physiotherapist at arsenal for nearly as long as beth had played for the club, obviously taking a couple of years to get your degree first. even into your adult life and your career you remained beth’s little shadow and loved every second of it. “same old, same old. plenty of injuries to keep me occupied.” the universe and its timings seemed to have aligned when not long after your breakup with leah, lucy bronze had let you know there was an open position for a physiotherapist for barcelona femeni and before you knew it and with a helpful reference from lucy and kiera, you were on a one-way flight to spain without thinking twice. 

“speaking of physio, how’s your knee?”

“its doing good, i mean i had a different physio than the one i was used to but,” she nudged you as a blush presented itself on your cheeks. leah had over exaggerated injuries quite frequently when you were working at arsenal. “yeah i’m getting there.”

“good.” you paused. “i’m sorry about the world cup, i know how beth felt so i can only imagine how you did. i was gonna text you, but i thought that might not be such a good idea.” 

“you should’ve. i would’ve answered.” leah sent you a soft smile. “everyone misses you too, by the way.”

“hm?”

“earlier you said you miss everyone.’ she reminded you of what you’d said only a couple of minutes ago. “well all the girls miss you too. they talk about you all the time, always asking beth about you and how you’re doing.” you could see where this was going, now terrified that leah was about to ruin your perfectly cordial conversation with words you didn’t need to hear from her right now.

“oh yeah, i haven’t seen them in a while.” you brushed off, “life gets in the way sometimes i suppose.” by life you meant leah. you wouldn’t want to put her teammates and your old friends in between the two of you, so you took yourself out of the equation altogether. 

“i miss you too, a lot.” there it was. she did it, she just opened up a box she wouldn’t be able to close.

“leah.” you sighed, “don’t”

“what? i’m not allowed to miss you?” leah became defensive, half expecting you to just say it back to her because you always had.

“i didn’t say that, just stop.” you scooted to the other end of the bench, needing some space between the two of you.

leah lowered her defences and tried again to make you understand what she was telling you, thinking you didn’t believe her or didn’t understand. “we were together for nearly 3 years, y/n/n. i miss you all the time.” you understood her perfectly. you’d felt exactly the same since the day you walked out the door. “leah please, don’t do this.” the difference was, you knew how unfair it would’ve been to leah to tell her how much you missed her and still loved her because you weren’t in each other’s lives anymore. 

“don’t do what?” she questioned you. “tell you the truth?”

“le-“

“because it is the truth. i’ve missed you every single day since you walked out the house and left me there.” leah’s voice began to raise and she stood from the bench to pace in front of you. she wasn’t sure why you were blaming all of this in her and refusing to even have a conversation about it. you broke up amicably, right?

“well i missed you for a lot longer than that.” you spoke up.

“what?” leah caught what you said, but she didn’t understand it. or maybe she did and just didn’t want to face the facts that maybe this wasn’t the mutual, friendly breakup she thought. 

“at least you’ve only had to miss me for this year leah, i was missing you for months before that and you were still around, except you were around everyone but me.” you stood up, as she had. it was your turn to raise your voice. “so you don’t get to sit here and tell me you miss me now when i was trying to tell you for months”

leah reached for your hands, to comfort you. “we were both busy y/n/n-“

you audibly laughed at her comment, interrupting her. “no you were busy. do you know why i wasn’t busy?” you paused, not that you wanted an answer you just needed to take a breath before you started shouting and attracting attention from inside. “because i put everything on hold for you. my job, my friends, my family and i helped you grow and flourish in everything. i held your hand through the euros, through every game, i was the one in the crowd when there was only 100 people in the stadium. but you always forgot that part.”

“i know you were and i was grateful for it every day.” 

the nerve she had. “grateful? maybe in the beginning.” you couldn’t help but scoff at her words. “but you had a weird way of showing it towards the end, leah. you show gratitude by fucking off to events and awards and different countries without so much as a second thought towards me, towards what i wanted. you left me at home, alone. in the home that was supposed to be ours after i sold my place to be with you more, but you just left anyway.” you wiped a tear from your face, quickly as leah sat back down. 

“you’re not being fair, y/n. i thought you wanted to be with me and live with me.” her head dropped into her hands as she balanced them on her knees. as far as leah was concerned, this was all new information. sure you’d spoken when you’d broken up but all leah knew was that you thought the pair of you had grown apart and she knew you were right, but she didn’t know it was her fault you had. 

“i’m not being fair?” you choked on your own words as your lip quivered and your cheeks felt damp. “do you know what’s not fair leah? sitting here telling me you miss me after i’ve been trying so hard not to miss you for a year. what have you been doing since we ended leah? because i had to move away from my friends and my only sister. i had to get another job, make different friends so i could try and get my old self back because everything here is you.” for the first time that day, both you and leah were looking straight at each other. “you’re everywhere and i used to love that, it used to make me feel safe but there became a point where all it did was make me feel sad, le. all you did was make me feel sad.” you slumped back down onto the bench.

“y/n/n, im sorry.” leah slid over to you, pulling you into a hug. for a minute, you let yourself indulge, you let yourself be comforted by leah again until you remembered why you even needed consoling in the first place.

you pushed her away slightly. “i don’t know why we’re rehashing everything anyway. i told you all this when we broke up so please, just stop.” you wiped at your cheeks, not that it was doing much good at this point.

“you didn’t y/n/n. i would’ve made it better if you’d told me this, if i’d have known.” your face was a mess, cheeks red and eyes bloodshot. leah’s hair was ridiculous, pulled in every which way from running her hands through it over and over.

“yes i did, leah!” as much as you tried to keep your composure through this conversation a shout finally rose from you. “maybe not in that last conversation but i told you that i felt like i was all on my own so many times. every time you were away i told you how lonely i felt.”

“and every time i came back home, to you, we were fine.” she tried to grab your hands again. “i had my y/n, my home with me and everything was fine.”

“you were fine! i wasn’t happy, i haven’t been for a while.” you let out in a whisper, voice tired from the arguing and explaining. 

“i’m sorry, y/n/n. i’m so sorry.” it was leah’s turn for the tears to fall. she’d never want to make you feel like that and it made her physically sick to know that she had. you were the love of her life and she’d hurt you this bad, without even meaning to. “if i could take everything back i would. the only thing i’d want to keep would be you- “

you cut her off, finished with this conversation. your shoulders were feeling lighter with the weight of all you’d had to say finally gone. “leah, stop. this is pointless now, i’m going back inside.” you stood from the bench again, brushing off your dress. “please just drop it. it’s beth and vivs day, it’s not about us.”

you left the garden hastily. you needed to get to the bathroom before anyone had a chance to see you and ask questions, especially if those people were viv or beth. thankfully, no one was in there as you opened the door, taking an opportunity to grasp the basin and let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“i’ve got concealer and alcohol, which one do you want first?” the only voice you wanted to hear right now appeared as your best friend opened the bathroom door, tentatively.

“alcohol. definitely alcohol.” she pulled her flask out with no problem, letting you take as many gulps as you needed. “how did you know i was in here?”

“she came and told me. said you might need a friend right now.” leah. 

after a couple more gulps and a few dabs of concealer, you came back out of the bathroom, hoping to god you hadn’t missed your sister’s first dance as you were reminded if the reason you and leah even had to be in the same room again. 

beth was still sat where you left her, thankfully as you rejoined the table. “you okay, bubs?” you reassured beth you were fine, quickly moving the subject along and asking what you’d missed. 

the dance that you’d been dreading missing happened not so long after. an acoustic version of ‘enchanted’ played through the room as everyone stood to watch the pair dance. you watched with a smile as they shut everyone else in the room out, just staring adoringly at each other. 

leah had long been back in the room and she watched you as attentively as you watched them. you were right. this wasn’t about you two, but it could’ve been. 

[wosoamazing]

Diabetes

Summary: You join arsenal and move in with Beth and Viv, you're nervous how everything will go, but ultimately it was perfect

Warnings: Diabetes, Hypoglycaemia, Glucagon shot, let me know if anything else.

A/N: Just a bit of a cute fluffy fic, I tried to get everything right medically but IDK if it is perfect. I hope you like it. If I did get something wrong let me know. Also as always happy to do part 2s if requested but pls add some detail on what you want to see.

You were originally going to move in with Leah however the Medical Team said it would be best for you to live with two people, so you moved in with Beth and Viv, you were very nervous as to how they would perceive you, and whether they would be accommodating of your diabetes or not. You knew the medical team had discussions with them and that the club had forced them to do the emergency training for really bad lows and highs, what you didn't know was that they asked the club if they could find them some more training courses, they had done just about everyone single one, from how to use a Dexcom and an Omnipod as these were the devices you used, to how to live everyday life with diabetes. 

So when you turned up to their house you were very surprised to see some snacks sitting out on the bench, each with a piece of paper next to them, with the amount of carbs in them. They had really gone out of their way to help you settle in and make your life easier.

“Um, we have something to show you.” Beth said, kind of hesitant, you followed them over to a cupboard, “Um, it might be a little silly but this is for you,” she said as she opened the cupboard. It was empty other than some shelves, and draws, some organisation baskets, a mini fridge and a basket full of lollies. “There are some juices in there, we didn’t know what flavour you liked so we bought a pack of each, if you don’t like a flavour that's okay, we also got you these, they are all 15g of Carbs each, um but we can buy anything else you want or prefer, and um we thought you could put all of your supplies in here so they are organised and there is even a label maker so we can label the draws and stuff if you want oh and this is for you I suppose.” She said as she picked up a phone, it was a brand new iPhone 15 “it's more for the club, they were originally going to by you a android but we told them you wouldn't use it so yeah, the idea is we connect it to you sensors as like an additional device, so that everyone has access to your levels, so like at night we will keep it beside our bed so if anything happens we are alerted and during games the medical staff will have it and during training I think Kelly is mainly going to have it.” you nodded knowing you couldn't speak, the kindness of both women, and seeing how much they more cared and were going to 100% help you caused you to become emotional you felt a single tear roll down your face, causing the pair to panic lightly “You could have a cupboard somewhere else if you wanted or we could show you, your bedroom, it's pretty bare but we had plans to take you shopping so you could decorate it and make it your own,” another tear roll down your face, “are you okay, did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?” you shook your head “th-thank you” Beth pulled you in for a hug “it's nothing really” but it was something it was everything, it was perfect. You spent your day moving in. 

You set up the cupboard first, you drew a plan of where everything was going to go, detailing it before everything started to get put into the cupboard. Your plan worked very well and the cupboard was very organised and practical. Viv thought it was quite cute, she was going to like this side of you very much. Once you had set up the cupboard you got to go shopping, first you went to the homemaker centre, buying some bedspreads, pillows, and decorations from multiple different shops, to make more room in the car you had to do a pit stop at home, chucking it sll through the front door, before heading back out for lunch, it was the first time Beth and Viv had experienced eating out with Diabetes, well even just eating and diabetes. You were very well practised at it, and helped Beth and Viv learn, showing them how you did everything, you taught them how to estimate carbs, but that differently needed practise on their end, you also showed how you can either your phone or your pod controller to set up the insulin delivery and you even pricked their fingers to test their levels for fun, you liked how they weren’t over cautious about it and how they weren’t treating you differently, and also the fact that they didn’t see it as annoying, really you just liked everything about them. You then went to IKEA to get a desk, a chest of drawers and some other items for your bedroom. Once you got home you set up your room, you were putting your clothes away when you were interrupted by Beth and Viv calling you down for dinner.

“Stuffed capsicums!” You yelled as you walked into the kitchen.

“Inside voice,” “Vivvy, it’s cute, your parents told us they were one of your favourites and we thought after the lunch we had today they would be a good choice, how many do you want?”

“Two please, thank you,” “you’re welcome, if you want we can sit on the couch and watch a movie.” you nodded your head before making your way over to the couch.

-

“Come in,” Viv said after you knocked on the door, her face dropped when you opened the door and she saw your red puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks. You had been crying because you were so relieved and happy, and you wanted to thank them again.

“Kleintje, is everything okay?” Viv asked, causing Beth to pop her head out of the bathroom mid teeth brushing, the sight of you caused her to quickly move back to the bathroom rinsing out her mouth before pulling you in for a hug.

“T-thank you, for everything, it was perfect, you didn’t have to do any of it”

“Of course Kleintje,” Viv walked over to the two of you joining in the hug.

“We want you to feel welcomed and comfortable, it is now your house too. But please if you need us for anything at all you can come wake us up, our door is always open.” 

“Figuratively, not literally” you giggled slightly at Viv’s comment.

“Let's all go to sleep. Hey. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow” Beth said.

_____

Your second day was a training day, you Beth and Viv arrived early, as you had a few meetings, the first one was with Jonas and Kelly, about everything but also your diabetes, then the medics and some other people, Beth and Viv came with you to all of them. As you sat in the tactical session, you sipped on your apple juice popper as you listened intently, trying to ignore Beth and Steph’s talking, you were one to think tactics were a major part of the game, something else Viv would come to like. You then had a short gym session and then it was lunch, everyone was wondering what it was going to be, you already knew but decided not to tell them, you had been given the menu for the week, to select some things that you would want, so that they could make up a plate for you, ensuring they could tell you the exact amount of carbs. You walked in to find your plate sitting on the bench next to all the other food, it was a chicken burger, on wholemeal bread rather than a burger bun, you also had some snacks. There was a piece of paper next to it that had your name on it and the amount of carbs in each item, including each item of the burger. You picked up your plate and walked over to Beth, who pointed to the table she usually sat at, so you sat down there, waiting for her and others to join you, Kelly soon walked in with your kit, which you accidentally forgot at the meeting, you took it from her gratefully and she told you what would be happening in training so you had some idea of how much you needed to adjust your insulin. You picked up your phone and checked to see what it said your sugars were at, your phone said your sugars were at 90 which was perfect considering your target range was between 80-100, you were unzipping your kit when some of the team came to sit down, Beth sat next to you, Steph, Katie, and Caitlin also sat down. You pulled out your lancing device and pricked your finger, using your metre to confirm your reading before putting the units you needed for the burger into your pod controller.

“Do you mind us asking?” Katie questioned what you were doing.

“Um, I have diabetes, I was diagnosed when I was two, but it means that I have to manually control my blood sugars. My body doesn't do it at all, so I have to calculate the insulin I need for when I eat," "Right,” she nodded her head.

____

You had a few hiccups with your diabetes since living with Beth and Viv, but nothing major, however that was going to change. It was the 60th minute and you felt your body start shaking, the medics hadn’t called a paused or called you over and even thought you felt funny at half time your levels were normal, if anything slightly high, but you knew you were low, not only was your body shaking, but your brain hurt and felt foggy, you were also struggling to not fall over. You knew you needed to get off the pitch soon, before you passed out. A corner gave you the perfect opportunity to tell Beth you were low, you walked up to her, she looked at you confused and concerned.

“L-Low” you managed to say to Beth before you collapsed forward on her, she lowered you to the ground and the ref immediately blew the whistle, the medical team was on the pitch immediately, players from both teams were starting to form a huddle around you, trying to protect you from the media.

-

They were checking your sugars, as Beth got a Glucagon shot ready, she was ready to go when she got the nod of approval from the medics. Beth injected the shot into you and you were immediately rolled onto your side by the medics, waking up just moments later, in a panicked state, sitting up. 

“It’s okay, you passed out from being low, we had to give you a Glucagon, but it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Beth said as she rubbed your back.

“S-sta-stay?” you managed to get out eyes wide open with fear.

“Go with her, I’ll tell Jonas,” Beth nodded.

Viv met you and Beth in the medical room, she sat on a chair while Beth sat on the bed with you, you were given some gummy bears as well as an apple juice popper, to try and elevate your levels, you were still shaky and sweaty but your vision was completely clear and the medics and paramedics cleared you, which meant you didn't have to go to the hospital, but Beth and Viv had very strict instructions to take you to the hospital if certain things happened, such as seizures, loss of consciousness and others. 

“Do you want to go home now Kleintje?” you nodded as you ate a gummy bear.

_____

You were very nervous for your first camp, for how the staff would handle your diabetes but more so the team. The last game you played for Arsenal was the one you passed out during. You visited your endo after that incident and he had recommended putting tape over your sensor and pod when you played. The sensor had slightly pulled out during your arsenal game and so it wasn't actually reading your blood sugar.

It was your first training session and Beth had helped you, with the supervision of the medical team, put tape around your arms covering your sensor and pod, it was so you could get used to the feeling of it before your first game. You weren't required to have tape over your sensor and pod during training as you had frequent breaks which you could be checked during.

-

As you warmed up with Lauren Esme and Niamh, Ella and Alessia walked over to you.

“Why do you have tape on your arms?”  Ella asked. “Ella you can't just ask that” Mary said as she walked over with Beth, who had overhead the question, so she stood behind you placing her hands on your shoulders. “You don't have to tell them.” Beth whispered in your ear, you did want to tell them but you weren't sure you wanted to tell them right now.

“Oh um,” you were saved by Sarina calling the team over. While Sarina talked one of the medics came over to you, she handed you the phone and you saw your reading, being nodding and sticking your hand out to her, hoping that somehow in the non contact warm up the sensor had moved and that reading wasn't true, as if it was you most likely weren't going to get to do training this morning. You were handed a small container filled with 6 sour worms which told you the reading was true, you opened the container and started to eat them while Sarina kept talking.

“Why don’t we get sour worms?” Ella whined.

“Because you’re not special enough.” you inform her, causing everyone to break out into laughter.

“I like her,” Millie said as she high fived you. Sarina ignored all the commotion, she was obviously used to it and just continued talking. “Y/N could I just talk to you quickly?” she said as you and the girls started to disperse, you nodded and walked over to her.

“Sorry Sarina. I didn’t mean to-” “No, that's not what I wanted to speak about but I appreciate the apology. I wanted to talk to you about telling the girls, is it something you would like to do?”

“Um, yeah I think, I just don’t know how to tell them and like I don't want them to think of me differently”

“That's okay, I think sooner rather than later would be better, maybe today during dinner? During the announcements. Becky could help you, or even Beth or anyone you wanted, I could even just tell them and we wouldn't need to discuss it if you wanted.”

[alotofpockets]

Highs and lows | Lia Wälti x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Reader is a type 1 diabetic and experiences both hypo- and hyperglycemic events. I hope all the medical talk is right!

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.3k

-----

One of the things you loved to do outside of football, was going on walks with some of the girls on your team. When you and your sister Lia made the move to London, you had found a second family in your Arsenal teammates. The friendships you made here went beyond the pitch, and you were forever grateful to have gotten a place amongst them.

Today you were joined by Lia, Steph, Viv, Beth, and Leah. As well as Myle and Calvin, the dogs were both running around the park as the rest of you were talking. 

“Oh hi Myle girl, do you want me to throw the ball?” The dog had dropped the tennis ball into your lap, so you got up to play with her. You made a quick stop to grab your water bottle before you ran back to the dogs. Myle had so much energy, so she kept running up and down the field, while Calvin stayed closer to your side. You throw the ball for Myle again, but your vision goes blurry right after. You knew the feeling all too well, and sat down slowly. Calvin moved closer to you and started barking. Steph looked up at the sudden loudness from her dog, who usually is rather quiet, and notices you on the grass. 

“Hey Lia”, Steph didn’t even have to finish her sentence, the tone of her voice told Lia enough, she looked over to you and rushed to your side when she saw you were on the ground.

“I'm here.” She reaches for your hand, while reaching for her phone with the other. She taps the device to the patch on your arm, letting it read your glucose levels. You had been diagnosed with diabetes type 1 when you were a kid, so the symptoms were very familiar to your sister, and to the team now as well. “It’s low.” By now she didn't even have to tell you what she was going to do, as she was with you for a lot of your highs and lows. She grabs a juice box out of her bag, and tells you to drink up.

“Here, lean into me.” You heard Leah's voice behind you. Her hands on your shoulders guided you into her. The girls knew that there was nothing they could do for you, and that they would just have to wait for your glucose levels to get back up, but that didn't mean that they wouldn't try to make it as comfortable for you as possible. 

Slowly but surely you started feeling better, the blurred vision faded, and you felt a little stronger again. While you had gotten used to the hypo- and hyperglycemic events, they were still a little scary to experience, because you'd never know when one would be more severe.

“Come on, let's get you home.” Lia extends her hands to you, after you let her know you were ready to get up. Once you were up, she hugged you tight, always a little scared of the events herself. 

“Why don't you come to our place?” Beth offers, “We live closer, you can rest there.” You agreed instantly, the less you had to walk right now the better. Back at Beth and Viv’s place you find yourself slowly drifting to sleep cuddled into Viv’s side, with Myle on your chest. 

You’re woken up by the smell of one of your favourite dishes lingering in the air. “Hey, how are you feeling?” Viv asks when she notices that you were awake again. “Good enough for that delicious meal Lia is cooking up.” The girl you’re still laying against chuckles, “Ah good, you’re back.”

You looked around the room to find Leah, Steph, and Calvin had left the home, while Lia was in the kitchen with Beth. Though, you knew your sister did all the cooking, because Viv always loved to tell you how bad of a chef Beth really was. You got up and joined the rest for dinner.

The next few days your blood sugar levels didn’t have any major spikes, there was the occasional high and low, but nothing that wasn’t quickly fixed. 

On game day you were rushing out of the house, cause you forgot to put your alarm. You rolled out of bed, hopped in the shower, and quickly changed into your match day outfit, before you headed to your car. 

You knew it was stupid to skip meals, because it would most likely influence your blood sugar levels later on, but right now the only thought on your mind was getting to the stadium on time. Which luckily you managed to do, you headed into the locker room where everyone was about ready to start warming up. After quickly putting on your cleats, and your training kit, you followed the team out.

“Everything alright?” Your sister asked as she put her arm on your shoulder to warm up her legs. You nod, “I overslept. Forgot to set my alarm, but I’m all good.” You continue warming up together, before running some drills with the rest of the girls. 

On the pitch everything was going great until it wasn’t. You felt very shaky, and were sweating more than during a regular game. Trying to push the feelings aside only worked for a few minutes, with one tackle you were on the ground, and your body fully gave into the high blood sugar. Both Lia and the medics came rushing your way.

“You need to check her glucose levels.” Your sister instructed. The medic already had a phone in their hand to tap it to your patch. “We’ve got her Lia, don’t worry.” The phone quickly gave the glucose levels, and showed they were very high. 

“I’m going to give you an insuline shot, to get your levels down quickly.” You simply nodded, not caring how they would lower your blood sugar, as long as you would stop feeling this way. After the shot, your body started slowly feeling stronger again. The medics walked you off the field, and sat you down on the bench. Steph sat down next to you, and you leaned into her side. She took the bag of nuts the medical assistant handed over, and opened the bag for you. 

When the halftime whistle blew you headed into the locker room, while Steph went to warm up with the rest of the bench. 

“What happened?” Your sister’s worried voice rang out the moment you sat down. She didn’t even let you answer the first question, before she continued. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? You know how bad it can get if you don’t treat your highs and lows on time.” 

“Since I was in a hurry this morning I kind of forgot to have breakfast. I swear I was going to eat something when I got here, but you were all ready to warm up, so I forgot in the rush again.” You knew that skipping meals wasn’t good for your glucose levels, and you really didn’t do it on purpose, and you needed Lia to know that. “I should’ve said it sooner, but it was almost half time. I thought I would be alright until then.”

Lia uncrossed her arms, and the angry facade fell. “Please don’t ever scare me like that again!” She sat down and put her arm around you, happy to know that you were alright again. You listened to Kim and Leah discuss the tactics for the second half of the game, and made your way back to the bench when it was time to head back again. 

The team ended up winning the match. After the second half you felt a lot better again, so you walked the victory round next to your sister, who was happy to have you properly on your feet again.

-----

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[samkerrworshipper]

how did it end? | arsenal x reader

warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression

um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.

Everything about the day had felt wrong.

Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.

It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.

Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.

It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.

It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.

Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.

You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.

After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.

Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.

You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.

You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.

You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.

That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.

Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.

It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.

There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.

On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.

You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.

The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.

After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.

You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.

It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.

Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.

That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.

The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.

Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.

With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.

You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.

Now your life was nothing but a big mess.

You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.

You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.

Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.

It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.

You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.

For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.

Now though, you chose destruction.

You sleep when your blackout drunk.

You drink caffeine late at night.

You stay awake until your eyes burn.

You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.

You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,

You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.

Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.

You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.

You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.

You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.

But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.

Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.

Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.

It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.

“y/n? Is that you?”

You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.

“Hey.”

Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.

“Hi.”

The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.

“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”

You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.

“I wish I’d stayed, le.”

Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.

“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”

You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.

“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”

You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.

“Me too, y/n.”

The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.

“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”

You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.

“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”

There was no working it out, this was the end for you.

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”

You pushed the blade down against your skin again.

Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.

“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”

There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.

“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”

You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.

“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”

Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.

“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”

Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.

“Annulled?”

You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.

“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”

Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.

“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”

You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.

“In my house, in my bathroom.”

Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.

“Your house, where?”

You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.

“St Albans.”

The line went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re back home, since when?”

Another sip of your vodka.

“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”

France was the end of you.

“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”

You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.

“Vodka, feels good le.”

Another deep exhale.

“I’m going to come over.”

Rustling on the other side of the phone.

“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”

You were lying to both yourself and Leah.

“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”

You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.

“I’m not unsafe.”

More rustling on the other side of the line.

“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

You thought about it for a few seconds.

“I’m okay Le.”

The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.

“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”

You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.

“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”

You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.

“Depends on your perspective.”

You heard the sound of car doors.

“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”

Fuck.

“Yes.”

The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.

“What?”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”

It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.

“What kind of blade?”

You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.

“Razor.”

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.

“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”

God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.

“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”

The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.

“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”

The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.

The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.

Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.

You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.

Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.

“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”

You let out a groan in aggreance.

They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.

You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.

It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.

“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”

Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.

She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.

“It’s good to have you back.”

You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.

“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”

Viv brought you into her arms.

“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”

If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.

“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”

You shook your head.

“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”

Viv nodded into you.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Really?”

Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.

“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”

You could feel more tears beginning to form.

“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”

You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.

“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”

You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.

“How did it all end vivi?”

Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.

“We’re going to figure it out.”

——————————————————————

just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo

if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.

if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.

just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Video III

Meadema x Baby!Reader

Summary: You're the doctor today

"Well, look at you," Viv says with a small smile as you shuffle into the room," Doctor Meadema."

You giggle as you shuffle closer. The white lab coat you're wearing is massive and Viv wonders briefly where Beth has gotten it from. A similarly massive stethoscope hangs around your neck as you finally make your way over to the sofa.

"Doctor!" You repeat with a giggle, poking at the stethoscope before turning around to point at Beth," Mummy!"

"That's right," Viv says," That is Mummy."

You point at Viv. "Mama!"

"I am Mama. Well done and you're Munchkin!"

You nod and Viv hoists you up to sit next to her.

She's stretched out on the sofa, icing her knee from a long day of rehab and you wiggle happily next to her to get comfortable.

You press the stethoscope against her arm and she laughs.

"That's for a heartbeat, silly. Here." Viv adjusts it so it's just over her heart before helping you put the rest of it in your ears so you can listen. "That's my heart beating."

You frown and Viv moves it on top of your heart too.

"And that's your heart beating."

"Heart beating," You repeat," Heart beating!"

"Yeah, that's to show that we're alive. Because our hearts are beating."

You look a little confused briefly before breaking out into giggles when Viv tickles your tummy.

"Alright," Beth says to the door," I'm going out to walk Myle. Munchkin, you want to come?"

You look over at Beth when she speaks. Myle's by her feet, tail wagging happily. She whines a little as Beth delays putting on her harness.

Usually, you go with Mummy and Myle but today you're being a doctor and doctors don't abandon their patients. Mama is your patient today so you'll stay with her.

"With Mama," You say to Mummy who just smiles.

"You have fun with Mama," She tells you before finally securing Myle's harness," Viv, be good for the doctor!"

The front door shuts just as Mama throws a cushion at her.

You look up at Mama and Mama looks down at you. She smiles.

"Your Mummy is very silly sometimes."

Mama's right. Mummy is very silly but Mummy isn't here right now and you need to focus on Mama now.

Her knee is still hurt like it was when you first came home to them. Mummy's knee has gotten better but Mama's is being a bit mean to her.

That's why you're her doctor today in your big coat and your first aid kit.

You clamber over Mama's body to make it to where she's icing her knee.

"Careful, Munchkin," Viv says to you," My knee hurts."

"Kay," You chirp.

Mama said that the stethoscope is for listening to heartbeats but you wonder if you can also use it to listen to Mama's knee. Maybe there are mean little men in Mama's knee making it stay mean to her.

Mummy always says there's mean little men in your nose that keeps it stuffy when you're sick so you think they must be in Mama's knee too.

You press the stethoscope against Viv's bare knee and she jumps a little at the sudden contact.

"Mama," You say," Mean men in knee still mean."

"Oh, yeah?" Viv says," That's not very nice of them. Do you have any treatments, doctor?"

You think for a moment before nodding.

"Uh-huh!"

When you came in with your lab coat and stethoscope, you were also holding a little first aid kit.

Beth had bought it for you when you expressed an interest in one after hanging out with the medics at practice one day. You took it almost everywhere with you.

"Mama!" You cry out," Zip please!"

You take it everywhere with you but you're yet to learn how to actually undo a zip.

Viv smiles fondly, unzipping the little pack so you can rummage through it.

You throw the things you don't want out and Viv has to stifle her laughter, knowing that she's going to be the one picking it all up later.

"Found them!"

Your puppy plasters are your absolute favourite because you think they look like Myle and Myle's amazing. They're special and they're for your boo-boos only.

But you don't mind sharing with Mama.

You rip a handful of plasters open and clumsily place them on Mama's knee.

"What are those for, Munchkin?"

"Doctor," You correct.

Oh, sorry. What are those for, doctor?"

"Fight the mean men," You tell her.

"Well, I hope they do a good job," Viv tells you," But I'd feel better if I got cuddles too."

You hurry to flop onto Mama's chest, where you stay until Mummy and Myle come home.

"Doctor Munchkin's fixing my knee," Viv says as Beth inspects the array of puppy plasters on her knee.

"Oh, wow," Beth says," I'll have to get Doctor Munchkin to fix me up later too. Is that alright for you, doctor?"

You nod. "After Mama cuddles."

[adascore]

Hello! Not sure if you’re taking requests but would you consider doing an addition to TSS where young!arsenal reader was starting before Beth and Viv came back and has been benched majority of the time since (Kyra core☹️). Maybe during like the west ham game was one of the subs thrown on halfway through and after the loss made a snarky comment about “being thrown on to unfuck everything” type of thing to another teammate and Viv/beth overhear and think she’s talking about them (maybe they’re already a little insecure about losing such an “easy” game, self doubt post ACL) and things are super frosty and weird at home until one of them snaps and makes a comment about how they still wouldn’t have won even if R started. Hurt/comfort angst but with a happy ending!! Not sure if any of that strikes your fancy but I had the thought and you’re so talented:) no worries if not!!!

To Jump The Gun(ners)

pairings: arsenal x teen!reader / meadema x teen!reader / kyra cooney-cross x arsenal!reader

warnings: the west-ham match. swearing. angst. awkwardness.

author’s note: OMG LOVE THIS IDEA ! like this was right up my alley I felt like 😭 thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy the story!

masterlist

February 4, 2024 - Essex, England

It had become a routine, seeing her name and number on the bench. She took a glance at Kyra, a knowing look in her eyes.

The young Arsenal homegrown wondered where it all had gotten wrong. Well, she knew the answer, but it wasn't exactly something she could say out loud to anyone.

She was transported back to the 2022/23 season, where she would warm the bench until either Vivianne or Beth were too tired or they needed to be rested for the next match.

Their injuries had changed everything.

Y/N not only became a regular starter, but became a vital part of their game. Her absence would be noticed.

She scored the goals that got them to the semifinals of the Champions League, keeping them level with 2x champions Wolfsburg.

However, Beth and Vivianne were back now. Alessia's arrival also didn't help much, the former Manchester United player having cemented herself into the starting line-up.

It also didn't help that Jonas was not a fan of rotating. Only in specific Conti Cup matches or against what he deemed 'weaker' teams in the league would he make changes to the usual starting XI.

In other words, she was back to step 1.

That's why it was hard to watch her teammates falling 2-1 behind against West Ham, with no one seeming to find an answer or any will to turn the game around. It was a painful spectacle.

In the 63rd minute, Jonas decided to throw herself, Kyra and Cloé in the match, and take out Vivianne, Victoria and Beth. It was a desperate attempt, and the three Gunners found themselves on the pitch, tasked with the challenging mission of trying to fix everything that had gone wrong so far.

Y/N and Cloé quickly created some chances but the West Ham defense or the swift reflexes of Mackenzie Arnold saw them go in vain.

The teenager could see the expressions of her teammates on the bench, visibly frustrated with how the match had unfolded since Alessia's successful header.

Vivianne couldn't hide the discontent in her eyes as she sat with a subtle shake of her head. Her partner, sitting beside her, noticed and Beth patted her thigh, offering silent support as they continued to watch their team scramble for a late equalizer.

As the final whistle blew, the disappointment within the team was high. Y/N did her usual post-match routine, and congratulated all the West Ham players on their win, while giving and receiving solace from her own teammates.

The teen found Kyra again, someone who she had found a friendship in over the months the Australian had joined the Gunners.

''You alright?'' The midfielder asked her, a dejected tone in her voice.

Y/N nodded. ''Yeah, you?''

''Not too great, but there are worse things in life.'' Kyra responded, trying to put the loss in perspective.

''True,'' the striker agreed, ''I can't believe he keeps putting us in these positions.''

Kyra nodded. ''You think he would learn after Tottenham.'' She sighed.

''Apparently, we're not good enough to start, but when he needs us to unfuck everything that happened, then he knows who we are.'' Y/N said, her frustration evident. The unfair treatment of some players during the season lingered in the air, leaving a bitter taste after the defeat.

As the youngsters continued their conversation on their way to the locker room, Vivianne and Beth, unintentionally overhearing their discussion, exchanged puzzled glances.

''Did you hear that? 'Unfuck everything'?'' Beth repeated her housemate's words to her partner.

Vivianne's brow furrowed as she processed what was said. ''Yeah,'' the Dutchwoman breathed out, ''not very nice.'' A hint of sadness lingered in her voice. It stung that their efforts were being discussed in such terms, especially by the young girl they were living with.

They didn't say much else to one another as they strolled through the corridor.

The atmosphere in the locker room was subdued, void of any banter and entertaining chats. Most of the players were already there as the couple walked in.

Beth took a glimpse at Y/N and Kyra who still seemed in a discussion with one another, although they were whispering now.

''Girls, we're a lot better than this.'' Kim broke the ice, a neutral expression on her face.

Everyone nodded at the captain, the collective disappointment from the match was visible. ''Well, it's done, we can't change anything about it. So, everyone just do a reset, try to get some sleep or distract yourselves on the bus, and I expect everyone with fresh minds and legs at training.''

The team nodded and weakly applauded Kim's small speech.

As the team began to disperse, Y/N caught Beth's eye, offering a faint smile in greeting. However, the winger's response was noticeably strained, her usually warm demeanor replaced by a subtle tension.

"Everything okay?" The younger one ventured, her concern evident.

Beth's smile faltered slightly, her gaze flickering away before returning to meet Y/N's. "Yeah, everything's fine." She replied, though her words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

The striker's brow furrowed further, a flicker of uncertainty clouding her features. "Are you sure?" She pressed gently, not used to this awkwardness from her teammate.

"I... yeah, I'm sure." She retorted, her voice tinged with irritation.

"Okay..." Y/N trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. Sensing the dismissiveness between them, she offered a hesitant smile before turning back to where she had been talking with Lia.

As her housemate walked away, Beth's expression hardened, a pang of guilt gnawing at her conscience. She knew she shouldn't act like this towards her, but her words had really struck a nerve for some reason and it was hard to pretend it didn't.

The drive home on the bus wasn't that different, though the atmosphere was more subdued due to the loss. Y/N and Kyra were seated next to each other, Katie and Caitlin sitting on the other side of them.

''You alright, Y/N?'' Caitlin asked, noticing the youngster's quietness.

Y/N looked up, glancing away from her nails to the older Australian player. She hesitated answering, not knowing if it was appropriate to say anything about her interaction with Beth.

She sat up straight and motioned for the three of them to huddle together over the small table. They got her message and did just that.

''Did anything happen on the bench or something? Cause I had this weird exchange with Meado, and it's just stuck in my head.'' She explained, her voice hushed.

They all frowned at her words. ''No, she was just frustrated about the game, but so was everyone else.'' Caitlin responded.

''What happened?'' Katie chimed in, curious to know about this exchange.

''I don't know. She was looking at me in the locker room, and I smiled at her, but she, I don't know, just looked weird at me. I asked her if she was alright, but she was kinda distant with me? She responded a little irritated so I left her alone, but it was weird.'' Y/N gave a small summary of the interaction.

"That is strange." Kyra mused, breaking the silence that had settled over their huddle.

They nodded at her words, agreeing with the young Australian.

''I didn't notice anything.'' Caitlin said with a pout, feeling sorry she couldn't help her younger teammate out. ''Me neither, kiddo.'' Katie added, a similar expression on her face.

Y/N smiled sadly, disappointed she wasn't any wiser on Beth. Katie rubbed her arm once she noticed her dejected expression. ''Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. It's a tough loss.''

The youngster nodded at the Irishwoman's words. ''Yeah, you're right.''

Katie was not right.

As soon as she got in the car with the beloved couple it was clear that something had gone down for them to act in such a sour mood. Vivianne's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, while Beth stared out of the window, her expression unreadable.

Sensing the palpable tension, Y/N shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The youngster wanted to break the silence, but the words wouldn't come out. It felt like they were stuck in her throat.

The drive home felt like forever. Every minute made the atmosphere worse. Y/N tried to catch Vivianne or Beth's eye, hoping for some sign that things would get better, but there was nothing.

Car rides after losses were never filled with much conversation, but it had never been like this.

A wave of relief went through her as the car was parked in front of their apartment complex, longing for the comfort of her room where she could hide from whatever the situation was.

Y/N couldn't even come up with a guess on what had transpired. Did they have a fight? Did she do something? Did someone else do something?

She had absolutely no clue.

However, the tension seemed to follow them into their shared home. The silence had become even more deafening with each step they took.

Beth disappeared into her room without a word, while Vivianne headed straight for the kitchen, her movements stiff and mechanical. Y/N stood in the hallway, feeling like an outsider in her own home.

Their behaviors made her feel anxious, feeling that knot inside her stomach. What had happened during the game? What had caused them to retreat into themselves like this?

Unable to handle any of it longer, Y/N tentatively approached the Dutchwoman in the kitchen. "Um, Viv?" She began, her voice small.

Vivianne glanced up, her expression guarded. "Yeah?” She replied, accent heavy.

The younger girl hesitated, unsure of how to broach the subject. "I, uh, did, uh, something happen at the game?" She stammered, her words stumbling over each other in her haste to get everything out.

The striker's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?” She asked, her face neutral.

Her response only added to the youngest one's confusion. It seemed as though they were both dancing around a subject neither wanted to address.

"I-I just... noticed things were a bit off between everyone after the match," Y/N explained, her voice barely above a whisper, "and, well, the car ride home was... a bit weird, you know.”

Vivianne's expression softened slightly, though her guard remained up. ''Don't worry about it. Just… frustration from the game.''

But Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it than just frustration. She wanted to press further, but the fear of causing further conflict held her back.

Instead, she offered a hesitant nod. ''Okay, good.'' She murmured to the floor, retreating back to her room with a heavy heart.

The Arsenal homegrown player pulled her phone out of her pocket, searching up Kyra's contact. It only took a few rings for the Australian to pick up, she was probably already on her phone as she was called.

''Hey.'' Her accent momentarily bringing a smile to Y/N's face.

''Hey, you're home?''

''Yeah, just arrived. What's up?''

There was a brief pause before Y/N continued. ''Things have gotten a bit weirder since, uh, on the bus.''

''Shit. What happened?'' She asked, her voice filled with genuine worry.

''It's just... the tension at home is almost suffocating," she explained, ''it was completely silent the entire time we were driving home, and when we got home, Beth immediately went to her room. I tried to ask Viv about, but she told me it was just frustrations, but it clearly is not just that.''

There was a moment of silence as Kyra processed Y/N's words. "That doesn't sound good," she finally replied, ''you really have no idea what might have happened? Maybe they had a fight or something?''

Y/N shook her head, even though her teammate couldn't see it. "No, that's the thing. I'm completely lost." She admitted, frustration lacing her words.

''Same. I wish I knew what to say to help.'' Kyra said softly.

''It's alright, Ky. Thanks for letting me ramble.'' Y/N chuckled, appreciating the opportunity to unload her worries onto her friend.

''It's fine, honestly. It must not be fun to be in this situation,'' the Matilda replied, feeling for her friend, ''if anything else happens you can always let me know, okay? I'm gonna have some dinner now.''

Y/N smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Ky. I really appreciate it.”

''Anytime. Take care, I'll see you at training.''

''You too. Bye, bye.'' They bid each other goodbye before hanging up the phone.

Y/N prepared to leave her room again, wanting to check if Vivianne had started dinner yet or not.

Just as she stepped into the hallway, she nearly collided with Beth, who was coming out of her room with a tight-lipped expression. The sudden encounter caught them both off guard.

''Shit, sorry.'' The younger one apologized first, giving her housemate an awkward glance.

''It's alright,'' Beth brushed off, ''uh, were you on the phone just now?" She asked, her brow furrowing slightly.

Y/N nodded. ''Uh, yeah, with Kyra.''

Beth's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her features. "Oh, Kyra." She murmured, her voice tight.

The younger girl simply stared at the winger, not knowing what to say to her words. "Is everything okay?" Y/N ventured, her voice hesitant as she searched Beth's face for any sign of what might be bothering her.

Beth's lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she seemed lost in thought. When she finally spoke, her words were tinged with a hint of irritation. ''Everything's alright.''

Y/N offered a small, uneasy smile and nodded. "Oh, okay." She said, though her words felt hollow even to her own ears.

With a nod of acknowledgment, Beth turned to walk away. As she watched Beth disappear around the corner, she wondered if it had been something she had done. However, she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that day that would have provoked this kind of demeanor from the couple.

The young striker walked into the living room, noticing Vivianne bustling about in the kitchen. But what caught Y/N's attention was the hushed whispers exchanged between the couple, Beth and Vivianne not being subtle about their gossiping.

A sense of discomfort washed over the youngster as she hesitated in the doorway, unsure whether to interrupt or retreat unnoticed. But before she could make a decision, the Dutchwoman glanced up and caught her eye, her expression inscrutable.

''Hey, dinner is almost ready. Just some leftover pasta from yesterday.'' She informed Y/N, her tone somewhat forced as she attempted to maintain a facade of normalcy.

Y/N forced a smile. ''Nice, thanks, Viv.'' She answered, trying to ignore the awkwardness that hung in the air.

She retreated to the couch, feeling as if she wasn't welcome in the small space. Something was off, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on the outside looking in.

She scrolled on her phone for a few minutes before Vivianne called her to the table as the food was ready. As they gathered around the dinner table, the atmosphere remained strained, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

Vivianne served up the leftover pasta, her movements brisk as she avoided making eye contact with anyone. Beth sat across from Y/N, her expression unreadable as she picked at her food.

Y/N tried to focus on her food, but the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach made it difficult to swallow.

For a few moments, the only sound was the clinking of forks against plates, the silence punctuated only by the occasional awkward cough or clearing of throat.

Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Y/N opened her mouth. "So, um, what did you guys think about the match?'' She asked the pair, her voice coming out more high than she had intended.

As if on cue, Vivianne and Beth glanced up from their plates at the same time.

''It was tough, but it shouldn't have been tough. We lacked a clear tactic.'' The experienced striker answered, filling up the silence.

Y/N nodded, relieved at least one of them responded to her attempt at conversation. She took a peek at Beth, who did not seem amused in the slightest to talk about the surprising defeat earlier that day.

''It was just another match of us fucking everything up, and you kids having to unfuck it all.'' Beth said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

The youngest's eyes widened slightly at the cutting remark, not expecting those words to come out of the Brit's mouth.

Vivianne shifted uncomfortably in her seat, casting a quick glance at Y/N before fixing her gaze on her partner. "Beth, that's enough.'' Her voice was stern, warning Beth that this was not the way to go about this.

But Beth ignored her girlfriend, her eyes fixed on Y/N with an intensity that made her squirm. ''No, she needs to learn to not talk about teammates that way, especially the ones that have just gotten back from serious injuries, and need time to reintegrate into the group.''

Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she cast a desperate look at Vivianne, silently pleading for her to intervene and diffuse the situation before it escalated any further.

''Beth, I wasn't-''

''You weren't what? You weren't talking shit to Kyra about us right after the match? You weren't talking shit about us to Kyra on the phone just now?'' The oldest continued in an accusing tone.

Vivianne let out a sigh, her frustration evident as she attempted to defuse the situation. ''Beth.'' She said firmly, her gaze shifting between the two other people at the table.

''I wasn't talking shit about you guys. I would never do that.'' Y/N managed to let out, offended at the mere idea of her not appreciating the two women who'd let her move in with them a 1,5 years ago.

''Y/N, we heard you. On the pitch after the match, with Kyra.'' Beth responded bluntly.

Y/N swallowed hard, slightly ashamed of being caught. ''We were just... we were just frustrated, okay? That comment wasn't directed at any of you guys, it was more at Jonas, to be fair.''

The couple grew silent at the admission, realizing they had greatly misunderstood the two young girls' conversation. ''About Jonas?'' Vivianne repeated, her voice carrying a note of embarrassment.

The young striker nodded. ''Yeah, me and Kyra have just been a bit upset with our game time, that's all. It felt like a repeat of the Tottenham game.''

Beth and Vivianne exchanged a glance, coming to a silent understanding. ''We're sorry for jumping the gun on that one, darling. We really thought we needed to teach you some manners.'' The Brit nervously apologized with a chuckle.

''It's alright, we probably should've been a bit more discreet.'' Y/N brushed her apology off with a hand gesture.

''No, you two are in your full right to complain.'' Vivianne retorted, agreeing on the playing time matter.

The teenager waited a few moments before elaborating. ''I don't mind sitting on the bench, it's great to get rest, you know? But it almost feels like he doesn't trust me to get the game starting or something. I like to think I did great last season, so this kind of sucks.'' She opened up, not having voiced these thoughts to anyone but Kyra.

''You did amazing last season, you stepped up when we needed someone and the team will never forget that.'' Beth smiled, squeezing the youngster' s hand.

''It seems that Jonas forgot.'' Y/N muttered bitterly, looking down at her empty plate.

The couple silenced themselves at her mumbled words, not knowing what the appropriate response would be to cheer her up about the situation. They were indirectly responsible for the young girl to not get as much game time anymore, so whatever they would tell her, she would most likely not feel much better afterwards.

''Just focus on what you're doing right now. Show up to training, recover well, maximize everything in the minutes you do get. Show him that he should trust you to start, and that you deserve to have that spot in the line-up.'' Vivianne chimed in, her voice soft but resolute.

Y/N nodded at the older woman's words, though her demeanor still seemed dejected. ''Yeah, I'll continue to do that.'' It came out somewhat passive aggressive.

''I know it doesn't fix the situation, but you're my personal star girl, regardless whether you play or not.'' Beth softly smiled at her.

The teen managed to crack a small smile back, appreciating the sentiment. ''Thanks, Beth.''

''You're mine too.'' Vivianne added.

''Hey, that's my compliment for her! Find another one if you want to be cute!'' Beth scolded her partner, dramatically feigning annoyance.

The Dutchwoman frowned. ''Everyone calls her ‘star girl'! You're not original either!'' She pouted back.

Y/N couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the banter between the couple, happily accepting the momentary distraction from her frustrations.

Beth playfully rolled her eyes. ''At least I'm complimenting her!''

''Sorry that I was just giving useful advice, Bethany.'' Vivianne retorted.

''Useful.'' The Brit repeated, her voice heavily tinged with sarcasm.

Vivianne's mouth gaped, pretending to be offended. ''It was useful! That's what I would have wanted to hear at 19 year-old.'' She defended herself.

''19 year-old's want to hear praise, Viv. They want to be called star girls, not receive a lecture.'' Beth quickly replied, with a smirk.

''Y/N, it was useful, right?'' The older striker turned towards the teenager.

''Yeah, Y/N, tell Miss Miedema how useful her advice was.'' Beth chorused her words, grinning from ear-to-ear.

The youngster simply glanced between the two of them, before picking up her empty plate and standing up from her seat. ''I'm taking this as my sign to leave.''

She ignored their pleas with a satisfied grin, making her way to the kitchen to dump her plate, and walking back to her room.

The couple watched her depart, sharing a knowing look, a hint of amusement dancing in their eyes. ''She's gonna call Kyra, isn't she?'' Vivianne chuckled.

''She so is.'' Beth agreed with a laugh.

requests are always welcome!

[enwoso]

Lovies first football game and she spends half of the time sat on the floor picking flowers until less and the girls who came to support are calling over to tell her to get up and play the match

PRETTY CHAIN — alessia russo x child!reader

HEY EVERYONE! i’ve missed you all! i’ve been a bit mia this past week but i’ve been preparing for worlds in the next couple months so i’ve basically been living at the gym… but i’m hoping i’ll be back in the groove🙃

grumpy masterlist

today was a special day, it was your first football match. all week you had been telling people about your match, invited everyone you told to come and watch you.

alessia was a little nervous as she didn't know how you were going to react in an environment that was so fast pace but seeing you in your little training sessions you seemed to cope well and it was always a plus that you actually enjoyed it. but still alessia was still stressing.

"and lovie, remember to just have fun! winning isn’t everything" your mummy finished her little pep talk just as it was time for you to start. your mummy tying your boots up and pulling your socks up for you as you nodded a big smile on your face.

"where-" you began to ask but your mummy but you off knowing exactly what you were going to say. "the girls are on the way don't worry, and auntie ella will see all of the game cause i'm going to video it" your mummy told you as you nodded getting the answer you wanted.

getting a little worried that all the people you had asked to come were not coming, considering only your mum was stood on the sideline. ella was the only one that you knew definitely wasn't coming as she herself was playing her own match with man united.

"look it's starting, good luck lovie!" your mummy pointed to where your team was lining to play as she quickly pressed a kiss to your forehead before you ran off to your teammates, ready to start playing.

the whistle went and the first half was underway, and to begin with you were running up and down the small pitch but soon lost interest and just stood around watching the rest of your team play.

it got to a point where your team is behind by one and you were sat on the pitch picking the daisies out the grass. "why is she sitting on the floor? is she injured?" beth asked a hint of worry in her voice.

a sigh coming from alessia as she turned to look at the blonde who was first of the arsenal girls to get there, the other few that could make it following in behind her.

alessia shaking her head at beth's question,"no she's picking the daisy's out the grass" a small chuckle came from the two at how it was just typical that this was your first match and that's what you spent the half doing.

"where's the little superstar?" leah cheered as she walked in with lotte, kyra and steph. the four scanning the pitch before finding you sat in the top corner still picking little flowers out of the grass.

"is she-"

"yep she's making daisy chains" alessia smiled slightly as a knowing hum came from the four.

"well we need to do something! when's half time! she's needs a pep talk" leah rambled out fast, her competitive side coming out as the four looked at the blonde with a slight strange look.

"le, she's only five-"

"half time is in three minutes" alessia cut steph off as she pointed to the industrial clock that was standing at the side of the pitch where your coach was. alessia thinking maybe you did need some sort of team talk at half time and maybe winning was everything…

the next three minutes dragging as you sat pretty contently in the same place, picking the little white flowers from the grass as you joined them together to make a chain. you totally oblivious to what was happening down the field, you not having much interest in it.

the whistle was what brung you out of your own little trance as you heard your coach calling out for you to get up off the pitch.

you just shrugging before rushing over to your mummy with your daisy chain in your hand, your small body filing with excitement at how long your daisy chain.

“look! mummy! my chain!” you grinned holding up the daisy chain in you hand so your mummy could see it as she took it out your hand, a small smile on her face as the others looked on in slight amusement that you currently had no interest in playing football.

“it’s lovely and a very pretty chain,, but lovie your supposed to be playing football… not sitting on the floor-“ alessia tried slowly the last part of her sentence coming out as a hushed whisper as your looked on in confusion.

“but- i wanted to make pretty chains” you pouted as you bottom lip wobbled slightly. a sigh coming from alessia as she quickly tried to rack her head around how she was going to motivate you into playing football.

alessia looking around at her friends for a little help, leah crouching down to your height as she whispered a few things into your ear. the others your mummy included not having a clue what was being told to you.

but whatever it was something seemed to click, as you managed to actually play football. you even managed to poke a ball into the goal, running around your teammates with your arms out. just like your mummy did when she scored.

alessia in pure disbelief as she poked a look towards leah wondering what on earth had been whispered into your little ear. alessia screaming maybe a little too loud as she jumped up when you managed to score. her heart filling just that little bit more with warmth watching you.

the full time whistle came your team winner just 2 and you ran straight into your mummy’s arms, “mummy! did you see- see my goal!” you rushed out, so much excitement filling you - just like before with your daisy chain - so much so you could hardly form a sentence.

“lovie it was awesome, i’m so proud of you!” your mummy grinned, kissing your forehead as you light giggles left your lips. before you squirmed your way down as the girls who came to watch shared there congratulations.

“next top england goal scorer!” beth quipped with a smile as she ruffled your hair you shouting the blonde a look for ruffling your hair.

“and arsenal! isn’t that right tiny!” steph said as you nodded before pelting out your own version of north london forever at the top of your lungs, kyra joining in as the small group started to make their way off the field and towards the car park.

the group filled with laughed at your and kyra’s singing, before it turned into a game of tag down the field.

leah and alessia were walking at the back of the group, on the way back to the car park, you in front as you circled around steph and beth as kyra now chased you around the car park. your loud giggles filling the space as you ran around. the girls slightly wondering how you still had so much energy after running around on a pitch.

"so what did you promise her?" alessia asked with a quirk of her eyebrow knowing something must have been promised in order for you to play as well as you did in the second part of your mini game.

leah stood leaned against her car which was parked next to alessia's, a small smirk on her face, "just that i would get her hamster!"

"oh for god sake! LEAH!"

[mercurycft]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 — 𝐀𝐖𝐅𝐂

## leah williamson & awfc x american!reader !!

contains alcohol consumption, flirting, helpless bisexuals.

prologue - series masterlist - account masterlist

1.3k words

'yellow' is a pulsating hub of energy by this time of night, the air thick with the mingling scents of sweat, alcohol, and perfume. neon lights flash in rhythm with the beats of the music, drowning out any attempts at conversation. the bodies writhing on the crowded dance floor move in a synchronized frenzy. behind the bar, a flurry of bartenders frantically mix drinks, their shouts barely audible over the pulsating bass. laughter and shouts from the dancefloor, which you can only assume is a sticky mess of spilt alcohol, blend into a chaotic blur around you.

you watch from your seat at the friends in the crowd of bodies. any other night, you would probably be on the dancefloor too, surrounded by your increasingly drunk pals - butchering a whitey houston classic and finding it absolutely hilarious. but tonight, you sat tucked away from the chaos at the bar, the heat from the room causing the back of your thighs to stick to your seat.

the music pulsed through you, though from your position you felt detached from the room and its inhabitants. watching on from afar as your friends seemed to thrive in the group of sweaty bodies, whereas you were too consumed with the way your clothes hugged your figure a little too tight and your back ached from perching on the uncomfortable stool.

you lived in a small town, so you recognised a lot of the faces that littered the dancefloor ahead of you. some from highschool, others from college - a few who were friends of friends. you gave the crowd a once over, the straw sat in your glass no longer a vessel for your drink; instead now being contorted between your teeth in an attempt to busy your mind. then you spotted her, across the room.

her hair was pale, it cascaded down her shoulders in a tumble of curls. she was laughing, her head thrown back and a bottle of beer clutched in one hand. she was surrounded by who you can only assume are her friends, their bodies swaying to the music as they shouted over one another in a mildly-drunken exchange. something about the way she moved, the way she held herself, had your eyes locked on her with no hope of tearing them away. it was as if she were a part of the club, as if she belonged there.

you felt a strange pull towards her, your heart thumping behind your ribs as you studied her body, her movement. in the pit of your stomach raged an inexplicable desire to be near her, though intimidation enjoyed the game and filled your brain with examples of the worst possible scenario - you, alone, an intrusion to her group and her night.

there was a slight possibility you were staring, and as if she could sense your gaze, she glanced up and across the room - eyes meeting your own. there was a flicker of recognition when you could see her face as a whole - the lights changing and flashing weren't helping, but a spark of curiosity had already stolen your attention. no longer focused on the room, the world around you seemed to disappear and for a moment it was just the two of you. then, just as quickly she turned away and back to her group, laughter resuming.

you felt a mixture of emotions, disappointment and uncertainty - twisted and twined with a wicked kind of curiosity which had you gravitating towards her. the group around her looked to be having if not a better time than her and for a second, you considered leaving. returning back to your best friend's house and wallowing in your loneliness. but the illogical part of you - driven by the small amount of alcohol coursing through your bloodstream, urged you forward. you brought your glass to your lips and tossed the remaining liquid into the back of your throat, wincing slightly at the burn across your tongue. a little liquid courage never hurt no one.

you weaved your way through the crowd, spotting your friends in the centre - b-lining straight for olivia, who had her back pressed against some random she had met and a nearly-melted frozen margarita in her hand. she smiled when she finally saw you in front of her and pulled you in towards her ear - making it easier to hear you over the noise.

"can you be wing-woman? or are you busy?" you teased, head gesturing towards the figure behind her frame.

"i can always be wing-woman!" she shouted back, arms outstretching in glee. "where is he?" she added, looking behind you at the other bodies around.

"she," you shouted, smirking slightly "is over there!" you pointed, picking the woman from early out of the crowd. you saw olivia's eyes sparkle in the strobe lights, her smile pinching below her eyes and her tongue poking between her teeth - excited by the challenge.

your first mistake was assuming a very drunk olivia was a good choice of wing-woman. your second mistake was letting her out of your sight for two seconds. by the time you found her again, your fears seemed to have been confirmed when you spotted her beside the one person you hoped she would not be near.

the colour drained from your face and your heart rattled in your ears, embarrassment pricking at your psyche when you saw her point at you across the floor - leading the mysterious blonde straight to you, your eyes meeting for a second time tonight. do you run? do you hide? do you start praying for the earth to open and swallow the entire city into its firey pits?

you watched liv's hand flap in the air, encouraging you to journey towards them. what did you have to lose? so you did, running a hand through your tangled hair and pushing it off your shoulders - too aware of the extra set of eyes watching you. when you made it to the pair, now separated from the earlier group, you couldn't help but apologise.

"i am so sorry, liv-" before you could continue you saw liv's lips begin to move,

"this, is y/n! y/n is hot!" a drunken olivia shouted in a meek attempt of humour as she dragged you in, her arm slung around your shoulder awkwardly. "y/n, this is leah. leah is british." she paused. "and hot!"

there was that embarrassment.

"mingle!" she finally added, releasing you from her grasp and pushing you gently closer towards the woman you now knew as leah. with that as her parting word, she seemed to drawn back into the atmosphere - gone in seconds and leaving you to deal with the situation at hand. a situation? is it a situation?

this close she seemed more beautiful than before, if that was even possible. your senses and nerves had reached a fever pitch, unable to focus on anything other than the bright blue eyes fixed on your features - you were sure you could see a small but amused smirk spread across her lips at the sight of your very visible nerves.

"i am so sorry," you began, head tucking above her shoulder to closer access her ear. her perfume flooded your senses, the sweet smell of vanilla dancing through the air and blessing your nose. "liv is-"

"very drunk."

"a lot.."

the pair of you shared a laugh, the moment frozen and the rest of the room fading into the background once more as you moved to inject your hand into the space between you.

"i'm y/n,"

she met your hand with her own, and you mentally laughed at the presence of a watch tan line peaking out from beneath the sleeve of her jacket. "leah," firm shake, easy on the eyes and what an accent. your nerve endings were on fire. her hands were soft, a few rings littering her slender fingers.

you were too focused on her hand, still interlocked with yours when her voice graced you once more - her breath carressing the exposed skin of your neck. "remind me to thank olivia later," she pulled away to look at you again and the confusion on your face must've been conceivable even in the low light because she let out a breathy laugh and returned to her previous position

"for introducing me to the most beautiful woman in here,"

next chapter

i hope you enjoy guys! first chapter - lets see how many we can do - im so excited for this. love always - RG x

[pitchsidestories]

can't stop this feeling II Alessia Russo x Reader

part 2 I masterlist I word count: 2954 I

a/n: hi, the oneshot is based off the ask to write for Alessia, we hope you guys like this one, it's on the longer side, so get cozy.

Vick Hope looked expectantly at the two players who formed The Tooney & Russo Show together. The question she read out loud only a couple of seconds ago, was weighing heavy on the Arsenal forward.

They were playing a quick-fire question round of who’s more likely for the new episode and the moderator asked them:” Who’s more likely to kiss a girl?”

“Alessia, she just did last night!”, Ella yelled enthusiastically.

“Tooney!”, Alessia gasped.

Shooting an innocent smile in her best friend’s direction the Manchester United footballer defended herself:” What? You just told me.”

“Yes, but that was just a kiss between teammates.”, the Blonde explained, her cheeks turning slightly pinks as she spoke.

“You never kissed me.”, Ella reminded her with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, because you’re my best friend. I’d never kiss-.”, Alessia licked the lips nervously.

“Your friends? Liar.”, the midfielder clicked her tongue reprovingly.

The remark of the fellow footballer made the blonde blush even harder:” Can we change the topic please? This is ridiculous. It was fun and meant nothing.”

“Sure, so who’s more likely to get into a bar fight?”, sensing the change of the mood in the room Vick Hope switched the discussion to something more light-hearted.

“Definitely Tonney.”, Alessia laughed.

“True, I can’t deny that.”, Ella responded, shrugging her shoulders in a nonchalantly manner.

Last night, when the kiss which the podcast had hinted at, happened the Arsenal team has been out in the bars, celebrating the end of the season. The temperature been up letting everyone know that summer was around the corner.

“No, drinks for, y/n.”, Lia told her teammates at the table seriously. The room was nicely lit, with modern art on the walls and a lot of plants as decorative elements.

“Wally, I’m 23 and not longer 16 anymore.”, you scowled at her.

“Still, the rules are the rules.”, the Swiss woman declared, she didn’t seem to be impressed by your throw in.

Clearing her throat, Katie offered you grinning:” You can take a sip from my drink.”

“Thanks, Katie.”, you replied happily.

“Katie!”, Kim scolded the Irish player.

“She turned 23 this month, you guys need to calm down!”, she scoffed.

“Listen, I’ll order a drink now!”, Leah announced as she banged on the table, to underline the seriousness of her decision.

“Lee, I love you. Thank you!”, you sighed gratefully.

“Excuse me? I thought you loved me more.”, Alessia interjected, her pretty lips formed to a pout.

“Did you buy me a drink?”, you rose an eyebrow at her, but couldn’t help to giggle because of her silly facial expression.

“No?“, Alessia replied truthfully.

“See?“

Your teammate shrugged: “Fine then. I still love you.“

“Love you too. But not as much as Leah.“, you replied when the blonde defender reappeared next to you with a drink in hand.

You carefully took the glass from her: “Thanks, Lee.“

“You’re welcome.“, she laughed, holding up her own glass so you could clink your glass to hers.

“Cheers.“

“Cheers.“

You both took a sip of your drink and you had to admit, Arsenals vice captain had a surprisingly good taste in alcohol.

Lia playfully hit her best friend on the arm: “Leah, you’re breaking the rules!“

“The rules aren’t for her anymore.“, she replied decisively.

You nodded enthusiastically: “Exactly!“

The Swiss midfielder shook her head in faux shock: “Unbelievable.“

You suddenly felt an arm snake around your shoulders. When you looked over, your eyes met Beths. She leaned her head on her shoulder, obviously not on her first drink anymore and said: “You’ll always be our baby, y/n. No matter how old you get.“

“Oh yes.“, Lia agreed.

You shook Beth off and grimaced at your older teammates: “Ugh, you’re horrible.“

Between some gasps and a few protests, Kim only looked at you with an unimpressed expression: “No, we know you love us.“

You were about to respond that maybe they should have their alcohol consumption supervised instead because none of them seemed sober at the moment when Alessia grabbed your wrist. Your attention immediately shifted to her.

“Want to go get some fresh air?“, she asked, her blue eyes twinkling.

“Yes, please.“, you nodded, happy to escape your teammates for a moment.

A smile appeared on your friends lips as she pulled you along: “Come on then. Maybe they have calmed down until then.“

You both stepped outside into Londons night air. It was chilly and you wrapped the arm not holding your drink around yourself. “Let’s hope so. It’s just so annoying when they’re babying me like I’m still that academy youngster who joined them seven years ago…“

You sighed quietly. You were still grateful for these women. They were welcoming and supportive when you first joined Arsenals senior squad. By now you even considered most of them your family. But they still seemed to ignore that you had changed since then.

“Maybe they still want to believe that.“, Alessia grinned, bumping her shoulder against yours.

“Possible.“

“Maybe it makes them feel less old.“, the striker suggested while taking your drink from you and having a sip.

You let out a laugh: “I guess that could be true.“

While she was busy enjoying your drink, you used the opportunity to reapply your lipgloss. As you followed the contour of your lips with the applicator, you realized that Alessias eyes were following your movements.

You frowned at her: “What?“

“That’s a pretty gloss.”, the blonde muttered under her breath.

Her visible nervousness amused you.

“I could put some gloss on your lips if you’d want to?”, you offered her, smiling innocently.

“Sure.”, Alessia nodded as she kept focussing on your lips. They are so kissable, the forward thought to herself while you applied the gloss on to her.

Stepping a bit away from her, you noted:” It looks great on you.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s true.”, you replied but before you could add anything more your teammates lips were on yours, you exchanged short and sweet kisses.

In between those Alessia stated with a huge grin on her face: “And very kissable.”

“Oh, do you think so, Russo?”, you gave her a challenging look.

“Yes.”, she declared laughing.

“Too bad you’re only for the boys you’re a pretty solid kisser.”, you sighed dramatically. Despite the joking, it did hurt you saying this out loud. You couldn’t dwell on it for too long as Alessia showered you in more kisses to stop you from talking.

“I can still kiss you anyway.”, the forward claimed confidently. The two of you have been too oblivious to your surroundings, so you didn’t see your teammates turning up behind you, who have started to worry what took you two so long.  

“Oi, Lessi kissed y/n!”, Katie yelled.

“Katie.”, Caitlin scolded her girlfriend.

“Wait, what !?”, Beth gasped, the shock has been written all over her face.

“Relax, girls, it was just a kiss.”, Alessia tried to soothe them with her response.

“It’s never just a kiss.”, Beth answered in a serious tone.

“Well for us it’s, right y/n?”, the younger forward asked you.

“Uhm, yeah sure.”, you mumbled, you could feel the rest of your team could sense that you were lying.

The Irish woman was clearly ready to reply something sharp, but Caitlin stopped her. “Don’t say anything right now, Katie.”

“I think I’ll be going home now.”, you decided quietly.  

“Already?”, Lia questioned surprised.

When she saw you nodding the Swiss woman continued: “I can bring you home.”

“Oh, you don’t need to.”, you told her.

“I was about to leave anyway.”, Lia shrugged.

“Okay, fine.”, you gave in, after you said your goodbyes to everyone, the older midfielder and you were on your way home by foot.

While you were walking Lia was absently smiling at her phone. Normally the Swiss woman wasn’t clued to her device this much, she would have pointed out the beauty of the gardens you both were passing on the way or talking about whatever crossed her mind.

“Are you texting Mariona again?”, you teased her smirking.

“Again?”, the midfielder repeated, biting her lip guiltily.

“Oh, please, you know what I’m talking about, you playfully rolled your eyes at her before adding more earnestly, I’m happy for you, Lia, you deserve it.”

“Thanks, I’m just surprised, I haven’t told anyone yet.”, Lia confessed.

You shrugged, biting back a smirk: “Yes but you know we all have eyes and access to Instagram, right?“

“It wasn’t even obvious!“, the midfielder protested, throwing her hands up in defeat.

“Doesn’t matter we all know.“

“I guess you do.“, she sighed.

You raised your eyebrow: “See?“

“Yes. But Lessi…“, Lia suddenly changed the topic.

You could feel your heart skip a beat but pretended to remain unfazed: “What about her?“

Your teammate studied your face for a moment. “What was that about?“

“I don’t know…“ There were a million thoughts in your head, a million explanations but the reality was that you had no idea why this had happened. You were thinking about blaming it on the alcohol but you knew Lia would not buy it.

Seemingly unsatisfied with your answer, the Swiss midfielder followed up with another question: “Was it just a kiss like she said?“

You knew where she was going but you decided to act dumb: “I mean… you know Lessi. She’s just very affectionate.“

Your indifference seemed to bother Lia. She stopped right on the pavement. “But kissing is a different level of affection.“

“Yeah…“, you admitted slowly, your gaze trained on the tips of your shoes as you paused by her side.

Lia let out a sigh of understanding and when you looked back up at her, her eyes were full of empathy. “You wanted it to be more than that, right?“

“I did.“ Your voice was hoarse and quieter than you expected. You cleared your throat.

“Oh, y/n.“

Before you could protest, Lia had pulled you into a tight hug.

For the first few seconds, the embrace felt soothing and comforting but then you shook your head, signalling your teammate to let go.

“But it’s okay. I know this will never happen with her.“, you said, once Lia took a step back.

The older player whipped out her phone again and started typing: “Let me text the others.“

“Wait, what?“

“They should talk to her.“, she explained quickly.

“Oh, that’s probably useless…“

With a stern face, Lia looked directly into your eyes: “No. I know you think this is probably not a big deal. But it is. It is hard enough being a queer woman, this should not be one of the things we should have to worry about as well.“

“What do you mean?“ The fierceness in her voice almost left you speechless.

“Being randomly kissed by a straight girl. I’m sure Lessi didn’t mean it like that but… she should know.“

“She should know what it means…“, you whispered. The kisses from earlier in the evening replayed in your mind and only then did you realize that Lia was right. Alessia was the one who had initiated this.

“The others will talk to her.“, Lia plainly said before gently pulling you along.

You immediately fell into step with her as she walked you to your flat. She only left when you assured her that you would be okay.

Crawling into your bed in the quiet of your home, you hoped that sleep would come quickly.

On the next day Leah was the first to approach her teammate, opening the conversation in her earnest England captain tone: “Lessi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”, Alessia mumbled a bit nervous due to the stern expression on the older blonde’s face.

“About last night.”, the defender continued, getting straight to the heart of what was about to be discussed.

“Is this about a kiss?”, she bit her lip in front of the older woman.

“Yes., Leah confirmed her fear before adding, Lia texted me that y/n wasn’t happy.”

“Of course, she wasn’t as a queer girl getting kissed by a straight one.”, Beth joined their talk shrugging.  

“That’s not what I..”, Alessia interjected with a helpless look on her face.

Clearing her throat to draw back the attention on her Leah asked the younger forward:” Why did you kiss her?”

At this point Alessia felt like she was being cross-examined by her friends.

“I just like..her so much.”, the blonde tried to explain her feelings for you in front of your teammates stammering.

“Like Lotte and Tooney?”, Beth questioned.

“ I thought so. But they never looked so..”

“Kissable?”, the England captain ended the sentence for her.

“Yes.”, Alessia nodded, licking her lips anxiously.

“Does she make you feel things like you did with boys before?”, the oldest of the players threw in.

“No, I’m not into girls.”, the younger forward shook her head.

More softly than before Leah responded:” Maybe not into girls but into her.”

“Into her?”, Alessia ran through her open hair to calm down her nerves, but she had to admit that this gesture didn’t help at all in this situation where their questions stirred something inside her for which she wouldn’t have simple answer.

“Yes.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”, the half Italian pointed out.

“Alessia.”, Beth tried to soothe her.

“I mean I’ve only been with men before.”, she reminded them and more important herself.

“Doesn’t mean it always has to be that way you know?”, Leah told her gently.

“But..”, Alessia begun.

“You don’t have to give yourself a label if that’s what’s concerning you.”, the defender emphasized.

“Thanks, girls.”, she whispered already deep into her own thoughts.

“Do you want to hear my humble opinion on this.”, Vivianne tuned in, turning up next to her girlfriend’s side.

 “Of course.”, Alessia said.

The Dutch woman looked deep into her eyes while talking solemnly:” Nothing of this matters. Who you dated before, how you label yourself. But if you want to keep kissing her, don’t deny yourself that. Otherwise, you should apologize to her.”

“Well, said Vivi.”, Beth said padding the shoulder of the taller player.

“You girls are the sweetest, but I don’t know.”, the younger Blonde forward answered genuinely.

“You don’t have to know yet.. just trust your feelings.”, Leah reassured her.

Alessia nodded slowly: “I think I should talk to her.“

“That sounds like a good idea.“, Vivianne agreed, giving her teammate a gentle pat on the shoulder.

You were on your way to leave the pitch when Alessia stopped you right after training.

“Oh hey, Less.“, you said casually, trying to move past her.

“Hey. Can we talk?“

You had dreaded this question but still nodded cautiously: “Yes.“

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to get hurt.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you, that was wrong.“, Alessia apologized sincerely.

Trying to avoid her bright blue eyes, you looked straight over her shoulder: “To be fair, I kissed you back which… wasn’t right of me either considering you only kiss boys.“

“Don’t. I initiated it. I don’t know what had gotten into me.“

You finally looked at her, searching for any sign you could find. “So you really think it was just a mistake, huh?“

The striker frowned: “I didn’t say that.“

You were surprised by the defensiveness in her voice. “True.“

For a second, Alessia just stood there, studying you. Nervously, she ran a hand through her hair. “I’m just really damn confused about what happened.“

You immediately believed her. You knew the desperate expression in her eyes too well from yourself: “Trust me, I’m confused too.“

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to confuse you.“

In this moment, you wanted nothing more than to put your lips on hers to stop her from apologizing.

“I just don’t want you like a best friend, Less…“, you said, your jaw set defiantly.

“I never felt about anyone this way…“

“And I never felt like this about a teammate.“

There was silence between the two of you. Both scared to make the wrong move.

Alessias voice was light as a feather as she whispered: “Do you think this could be something?“

“I do.“

It felt like your heart was somersaulting in your chest.

Your best friend took your hand in hers, her face softening even more: “But you’ll have to be patient with me. I’m new to all of this.“

You let out a soft chuckle: “I mean your kisses were the opposite of patience.“

She playfully hit you on your arm: “If you don’t shut up, I’ll have to kiss you again!“

“Try it.“, you challenged her but quickly added with more seriousness: “But I promise we can take it slow.“

“Promise?“

“I promise.“

“Come here.“, Alessia said, pulling you in for a gentle but long-lasting kiss.

You broke apart as Katie yelled from somewhere: “Guys, I think the kids will be alright!“

As you looked up, you saw your teammates standing at the gate of the Arsenal grounds, watching you.

Lia winked at you before turning to Katie: “I think we have to admit that they’re not children anymore.“

“Told you so, Wally!“, Leah joined in.

Kim Little grimaced: “Ugh, young love is so disgusting.“

“Oh, Kimmy, we know you love them.“, Beth grinned at the small Scot.

You looked at Alessia with raised eyebrows: “I think it’s time for us to leave, Lessi.“

“I agree.“

Maybe this was just the trial stage but the way Alessias hand fitted so perfectly in yours, told you this was going to last.

You were almost out of earshot but you could still hear the smile in Kims voice: “Such a pretty couple.“

“We knew you thought that!“, Leahs voice shouted.

You bit back a smile. What would you do without those girls?

pictures are from pinterest.

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 12

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: twelve

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the REAL karate kid HOLD ON I FELL ASLEEP AND THIS IS WHAT I WAKE UP TO Y/N BAE WHAT IS THIS 😭

elton OMG LESSI MY MEMES SKILLZ ARE FINALLY RUBBING OFF ON YA

stairway still cannot believe this tho y/n 😔

neev neither 😔

willybum the betrayal 😔

the REAL karate kid y/n just so you know, we are not okay 😔

lotte 😔

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ so um ....

neev Y/NNN YOU'RE ALIVE HOW WAS THE DATE

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ he never showed up got stood up 😔

elton oh

stairway that is so sad

willybum that truly is terrible to hear

the REAL karate kid very sad

neev that really sucks

meado you idiots! atleast be nice and pretend to actually feel bad! ignore them y/n i'm really sorry to hear that he didn't deserve you at all

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ thank you beffy 🥺 it's fine gonna thrive in my single life forever i guess 😔✊

stairway well y/n i'm free tonight 👀

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ so am i 👀

willybum absolutely not we have our semis tomorrow you're not going anywhere

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ that is very unfortunate georgia 😔 maybe one day

stairway 😔

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you know now that i'm getting better at my woso knowledge do a few of your teammates just not like messaging? bcuz there's a few not on this chat

neev hold on a sec you're right! chloe, esme, kirby, turner and zelem aren't even in the chat

staiway you forgot to add them ??

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ and you guys just realised 😭😭

elton shhhhh i'll add them now

elton added ona batlle

elton oh nuggets

the REAL karate kid HELP

elton i am walking and eating a donut and i accidentally clicked on the wrong person

willybum added katie

willybum do not trust ella to add people to this chat anymore

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ omg hey ona!

kie oh my days

ona batlle hello! :) i am not on the england team?

earpsy you qualify to be here anyway don't ya worry

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ ona, may i just say you are very peng

stairway Y/N.

neev peng 😭😭

ona batlle i am not sure what that means but i can only assume that it is good so thank you!

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ do you think i'm peng?

ona batlle yes sure! of course!

stairway 😐😐

katie ur ugly

elton hey katie! nice to see you too

katie i was talking to you

elton that is not nice

katie neither is being friends with you

elton i am not sure where this attitude has come from

willybum i love this new zelem

katie i hope you fall in the shower

willybum i take that back

katie HAHAHA HELP

neev WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING

katie HAH WILLYBUM THESE NAMES 😭😭 and i'm not katie zelem

meado i cannot believe how you guys keep doing this you added katie mccabe not zelem

elton OMG IT WASN'T ME IT WAS LEAH I DIDNT DO IT THIS TIME

rusty metal you literally added ona earlier ...

willybum changed the name katie to mccard

mccard was that name really necessary? really?

willybum yes.

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG THE KATIE MCCABE ILY

mccard hello y/n ❤️

willybum absolutely not stay away from our y/n mccabe

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG CAN WE ADD STEPH CATLEY TOO I LOVE HER

the REAL karate kid HUH

stairway hey hey hey you're supposed to be the lionesses' biggest fan what is this betrayal

neev yeah 😔😔

mccard added steph

meado STEPHYY hey girl!

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG OMG NO ONE MOVE

steph katie did you add me here to get attacked bcuz i'm aussie? and heyy beffy!

mccard not this time :)

steph national diving time?! help 😭😭

the imposter aka y/n ❤️ omg hi!! ily you're amazing

steph aww thank you y/n!!

stairway look toone what have you done everyone's stealing y/n away from us now

elton how is any of this my fault?!!

the REAL karate kid it is

neev it is

lotte it is

willybum it is

earpsy it is

brightness it is

daily it is

stairway it is

rusty metal it is

meado it is

mccard it is

elton

i hate you all so much

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

part thirteen here