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So You Just Killed Palpatine
In Which, Much To Obi-Wan Kenobi's Surprise, While Dealing With The Consequences of One's Own Action's Can Be A Lot, It Isn't Always Entirely A Bad Thing
originally inspired by this and this from anon and husborth Part One, Part Two, Part Three ... Part Fo ... uh ... there's memes somewhere... Anyway Here's Part Five:
Obi-Wan blinked awake, head cloudy and body heavy, as if under unusually high gravity. But no, there was the all-too-recognizable ceiling of the temple healing halls, its mosaic ceiling drifting in lazy, clockwise circles.
What did I do this time? Wait, there was something I had to tell the rest of the Jedi...something important...
Oh dear, he was on the good painkillers, wasn't he?
“Obi-Wan?” someone familiar asked, voice and force presence ringing with a startling jab of hope.
“Bant?” he tried to reply, only to be met with burning pain in his throat. The only thing he managed to get out was an unintelligible coughing fit which pulled sharply at his gut.
“Take it easy!” she urged, moving into his blurry line of sight. “You’ve had extensive abdominal surgery, and your throat was — was crushed rather severely — it’s going to take more time for the grafts to heal.”
Obi-Wan nodded, chastened, before cautiously starting the process of pushing himself up in bed, Bant hovering nervously all the while. The effort made his muscles ache and the room spin faster, but things settled down once he was sitting up.
He looked around, sagging in relief at a small oily handprint on one of the otherwise sterile visitor chairs. Anakin had been here recently, and was in good enough health to be tinkering. Good, that was good. That was important.
He suddenly realized half his vision was obscured and sluggishly raised a hand to his face, only to find heavy cloth.
“I’m sorry, we weren’t able to save your eye,” Bant said softly. “Once you’re a little more healed we can discuss artificial or bioengineered replacement options.”
She plucked a cup off a counter overcrowded with a dizzying array of flowers. “Here, drink some of this if you’re feeling up to it, it’ll make talking a little easier.”
Obi-Wan accepted the drink, only to feel it slide out of numb hands. Bant gently closed her hands around his, helping to guide the drink to his lips. He grimaced at the taste.
“Bacta infused water,” she apologized. “You’re going to be drinking bacta infused liquids for some time, I’m afraid.”
A wave of exhaustion swept over him and Bant set the cup down as Obi-Wan sagged.
“Anakin?” he managed to rasp out.
“Anakin’s fine, he’s completely safe,” Bant said with a comforting squeeze of his shoulder. “He’ll be annoyed to know he missed you waking up, he very much wanted to be there.”
Obi-Wan was going to say something else, but sleep dragged him under first.
//
Obi-Wan opened his eyes — his eye — to the sight of Quinlan Vos scowling over a datapad. The dark spot on the left side of his vision was more noticeable than before. What the kriff did I do to myself?
He shifted, irritated at how lethargically his body responded. The pad fell to the ground with a clatter as Quinlan lurched towards the bed.
“Obi-Wan! Hold on, let me — you’re supposed to have the water before you try to talk.”
Quinlan helped hold up a cup and straw so Obi-Wan could take several short sips of the unpleasantly viscous and vaguely pineapple flavored water.
“How are you feeling?” Quinlan asked, hovering with uncharacteristic anxiousness.
Obi-Wan paused to think. “Weak,” he replied in a hoarse whisper. “How long have I been...”
Guilt flashed over Vos’s face. “You were in and out of Bacta tanks and surgery for a full two weeks. And then another week in an induced coma. And then another week in a self-healing trance. You had...a lot of internal injuries. I’m so sorry Obi-Wan—this is all my fault.”
Obi-Wan stared at Quinlan blankly for a moment. His face helped the memories to start trickling in.
"Yes..." he said slowly. "Yes — you knocked on my door... you said... Vos... please just... just tell me if I hallucinated anything — did I try to assassinate the Chancellor of the Republic?"
"I'd say you succeeded," Quinlan replied, half-smiling, half-grimacing.
"Did I — did we think he was a pedophile, only—”
He had to pause, throat burning as he fought a coughing fit. He swallowed more disgustingly flavored water before finishing the thought.
“—only to discover that he was in fact not sexually grooming Anakin, but was doing a number of other terrible things? And did he... did he — did he electrocute me...”
Obi-Wan’s voice trailed off and he took several more sips, throat filled with an uncomfortable fizzing sensation.
Quinlan nodded, wincing. “I mean parts of that you know better than me but yeah, that matches with what I understand.”
“Hm.” Obi-Wan finished the cup, mulling it over.
Quinlan Vos muttered something under his breath that Obi-Wan couldn't quite make out, but the word "dramatic" almost definitely featured.
Grey crept in around the corners of his vision, then black.
//
When he opened his eyes — his eye, he'd have to get used to that — next, he was greeted by a convenient and increasingly familiar cup at his bedside, as well as Master Windu. Obi-Wan quickly reached for the water, clutching it in both hands and taking a long drink.
Spurred on by the sight of the Master of the Order, he also reached for the urgent thought from earlier, wanting to get it out before he slipped back under —
“Chancellor Palpatine’s a Sith Lord!!”
The corners of Mace’s eyes crinkled. “Yes, Knight Kenobi," he said. "We’re aware of that now. You’ve proved it to be the case quite publicly. And ended the threat with remarkable... thoroughness.”
Obi-Wan head fell back. “A Sith Lord... the Chancellor!” he said in amazement. He was relieved to find his throat only barely twinging at his outburst.
“It truly stretches the imagination,” Mace agreed tolerantly.
“You’re telling me!” Obi-Wan took another long drink, head spinning.
Master Windu smoothed a crease from his robe before saying, with extreme delicacy, “I don't wish to pressure you into speaking before you've healed... but I admit, we’ve all been wondering how exactly you knew.”
"He force choked me and electrocuted me with Sith Lightning. Lighting! I thought that was a myth!” He drained the cup, hands shaking slightly.
“Yes,” Mace said quietly. “The healers were amazed you survived so long... let alone had the strength to fight back with such strength. We’re all extremely grateful to the Force for keeping you alive long enough for us to reach you.”
Obi-Wan made a mental note to feel grateful later, but his mental space was a bit of a mess at the moment, and he wasn't entirely certain he had filed it away correctly.
Master Windu sighed. “We would have been there sooner but I’m afraid none of us had any idea that you were going to confront a Sith.” A twinge of reproach crept into Windu's voice, but Obi-Wan set it aside along with the gratitude, to be examined at some later date. Ideally when his head felt less full of bantha wool.
“I had no idea,” Obi-Wan said numbly.
“Well you figured it out before the Council at least,” Mace replied, not without humor.
He couldn't help but snort. “Yes, because he shot lightning at me. I mean the force choking happened first but... lightning. Lightning!”
Lines formed between Master Windu's brows as he looked down at him. “As much as it pains me, I understand the risk assessment in not telling the High Council about a Sith Chancellor of the Republic, and goading a public fight was probably the best political move possible. But why start the confrontation so privately? It seemed rather — apologies, we can debrief on that when you're rested. I presume you were trying to get a confession about the droid and clone armies?”
Obi-Wan stared at Mace Windu wide-eyed.
“The what.”
The lines on Master Windu’s face deepened. “The... Kamonian clone army — the clones of Jango Fett...”
Obi-Wan’s eyes got wider. “Jango Fett—you mean Galidrean Jango Fett? The Jedi Killer? Palpatine made a clone army of him?”
Mace was silent for a long while, staring at Obi-Wan as though he were a particularly concerning puzzle. Obi-Wan chewed on the straw, mind wandering to whether or not it would be appropriate to ask Master Windu for a refill. As unpleasant as the flavor was, the fizzing did make his throat feel better.
“Knight Kenobi...” Mace finally said, speaking very slowly. “Do you remember why Chancellor Palpatine attacked you? The soul healers were quite certain the Sith Lord didn’t breach your inner shields but I think you might be suffering from some memory loss...”
His left eye itched; he resisted the urge to reach for it. Obi-Wan sank further into the cushions behind him, trying to think. Were there gaps in his memory? No, as usual, it all seemed a fairly clear path from Quinlan Vos knocking on his door to Obi-Wan ending up unconscious in the healing halls.
“Why Palpatine starting attacking?" he mused. "I suppose he wasn't going to just dance around forever — force, when he dodged my blaster shot, I simply could not understand how — it all happened so fast, but the next thing I knew I was pinned against the wall by a Dark —”
“Stop,” Master Windu ordered, raising his hand. He took a deep breath, radiating calm into the force.
“Do you remember what Palpatine said immediately before you shot him?” he asked patiently.
Obi-Wan shifted, feeling a pang of awkwardness as he muttered the answer guiltily under his breath.
“I’m sorry, Knight Kenobi, I didn’t quite catch that.”
“He said, ah, ‘you’re a Jedi’ and ‘you can’t kill an unarmed man.’”
Mace Windu stared at Obi-Wan.
There was a long pause while Obi-Wan fidgeted with the straw. He was starting to feel that perhaps his thoughts were even less clear than he had assumed them to be, and he was not handling this conversation particularly well.
Windu took another deep breath, radiating slightly less calm then before.
“Knight Kenobi. Why did you shoot the Chancellor of the Republic?”
“...I was trying to kill him,” Obi-Wan said, looking down.
“Why?”
Obi-Wan mumbled.
“Kenobi, speak clearly.”
“Well—ah—it actually turns out that I had misunderstood...I mean it had certainly seemed like...but he wasn’t actually...doing exactly what I thought...”
Windu stared at the recumbent Knight, who flushed.
It occurred to Obi-Wan for the first time, that, considering his plan of running away and becoming a bounty hunter was no longer possible nor, perhaps necessary, he could have misrepresented some of the timeline of events vis a vis sith slaying. Or better yet, pretended to have memory loss.
In his defense, the whole experience had been extremely unnerving! For all that weeks had clearly elapsed for everyone else, Obi-Wan was still processing Chancellor Palpatine shooting lightning out of his fingers.
A wave of exhaustion flooded over him, and he sank into it with relief, recognizing now the sickly sweet painkillers pulsing through his blood, clouding his thoughts and pulling him under.
//
Unfortunately, Mace Windu was still there when he woke up. Kriff.
He opened his mouth to try and backtrack, but Windu raised his hand, cutting off any poorly thought out explanations.
Master Windu took a deep breath, radiating very little calm by this point.
“Let me get this clear. Nod if yes, shake your head if no, did you go into the Chancellor’s office with the intent to assassinate the Chancellor of the Republic?”
Obi-Wan nodded.
“Did you know he was a Sith before you went into his office?”
Obi-Wan shook his head.
“Did you suspect he was a Sith?" Mace asked, slightly desperate.
Obi-Wan shook his head, cringing in apology.
“Before you went into the Chancellor’s office, were you aware that he was working with the Kaminoians to commission a clone army?”
Obi-Wan shook his head, biting back questions.
“Did you know he was working with the trade federation to commission a droid army?”
Another no.
“Did you suspect anything about these armies? Anything about a larger plot to destabilize the Republic? Destroy the Jedi? Become Emperor?”
Obi-Wan shook his head at each question, eyes widening with shock.
Mace Windu was radiating absolutely no calm at this point.
“Knight Kenobi...” he asked with a pained expression. “Did you... attempt to assassinate the Chancellor of the republic for personal reasons born out of some sort of misunderstanding? Only to inadvertently save the Republic?”
“I mean once I found out that he was a Sith... I of course changed tactics... and personal is a bit... but... that... Well. More or less sums the situation up, yes.”
Mace WIndu stared at Obi-Wan Kenobi, who wasn’t sure if he should keep talking or not. He didn't entirely trust his ability to explain things well at the moment, and ultimately decided to err on the side of silence.
Obi-Wan vaguely wished he could slip into sleep, but was fairly sure that it would be rude and possibly obvious to do twice in one conversation. His throat itched and he considered once again asking for more water, ultimately deciding against it.
Minutes passed, Master Windu staring blankly at the wall above Obi-Wan’s shoulders, while Obi-Wan's mind started to wander.
Who on earth had been paying to feed a clone army? How was Quinlan doing at getting Anakin to brush his teeth? Am I going to prison? Ohh that’s why the force was so insistent on killing Palpatine. Maybe that would help explain things to Master Windu? Though 'the force told me to' is generally not considered a good excuse, in of itself, for acts of violence...though this is a rather unique situation...
Eventually Master Plo walked in, letting out a pleased noise.
“There he is! The Hero of the Republic!”
Mace Windu closed his eyes.
“Is that what they’re calling me?” Obi-Wan asked weakly, when it became clear Master Windu wasn’t ready to address everything wrong with that.
“Oh! Your drink is empty! Mace, Vokara was very clear with her instructions!” Master Plo scolded.
Mace Windu didn’t reply.
Plo-Koon snatched the cup, filling it up from a pitcher across the room and talking boisterously. “Well, the public is throwing around a lot of titles, but since you already had Sith Slayer...”
“Oh dear,” Obi-Wan said faintly, accepting the terrible water and drinking it for lack of anything better to do.
Plo-Koon patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. “I’m afraid to tell you it’s going to be very difficult for you to dodge commendations for your actions. Now that you’re awake you’re going to be faced with quite a backlog of requests for ceremonies and interviews—”
Obi-Wan choked. “Ceremonies?” he repeated in a higher pitch. He snuck a look at Master Windu. His eyes were closed, though he didn't appear to be meditating.
That probably wasn't a good sign.
"Yes, ceremonies," Plo-Koon said with far too much relish. "Turns out there are quite a lot of old traditions on the books regarding —"
Master Healer Vokara Che entered the room at brisk pace. “I thought I heard voices — I will remind you that before he is the ‘Sith Slayer Returned’ or ‘The True Chosen One’ or any such nonsense he is first and foremost my patient.”
She gave a sharp look to both Council Members. Plo-Koon nodded contritely while Master Windu continued to not say or do anything.
“The — no, no Anakin’s the chosen one —" Obi-Wan sputtered. "Anakin’s the reason — people aren’t actually calling me that, right?” he asked, drugs doing an admirable job at suppressing the panic he was fairly sure he was going to feel later. The device in Master Che's hand beeped faintly in answer.
“That and more, young Kenobi,” another familiar voice suddenly added, below his field of vision. “To collect your honors, expect to survive, you did not, mmn?”
“Master Yoda! No, I—I really didn’t expect... any honors... at most I was hoping that people would understand...” Obi-Wan protested weakly, shooting Windu a beseeching look which yet again failed to garner a response.
Che rolled her eyes, flipping a lek behind her somewhat sarcastically as she attached a glowing device to his chest. "Of course you didn't."
He barely refrained from wincing as several needles bit into him.
“Perhaps we would have had a better chance of understanding had you left us any of your evidence,” Master Koon chided gently.
“Put together the pieces we did, in our time,” Yoda added, hopping up on the nightstand to affectionately poke his shoulder.
Obi-Wan leaned back, feeling increasingly light-headed.
“Your vitals look good, all things considered,” Master Che said, sounding smug. “You should be back to getting into trouble in a year or so.”
Obi-Wan jerked his head in her direction, aghast. “A year?!”
“Busy, you will be, if work you wish. A seat, open there is for you. Comfortable chair, good company, important duties.”
Master Windu’s eyes squeezed further closed.
“What?” Obi-Wan asked, bewildered.
The healer scowled. “You were bleeding heavily into more or less all your major organs, including your brain. Really, it would be faster for me to list organs that weren't damaged. The fact that you recovered at all is only because Master Gallia conducted ill-advised on-scene amateur healing—"
"Is she alright?" Obi-Wan asked.
"—ill-advised, but successfully non-self-detrimental amateur healing, and I’m a miracle worker, and, credit where credit is due, you’re a stubborn bastard; not to mention your padawan has far too much energy to throw around — you really should consider enrolling him some healer’s courses—”
“Is he alright?” Obi-Wan asked, more urgently.
“He’s fine,” Master Plo reassured him with a gentle hand on the shoulder. “Everyone is fine except for you. He just tired himself out a few times, but Knight Vos has been keeping a close eye on him, and Anakin understands that the best thing at this point is to let you heal under your own power."
“Can I see him?” he asked. His voice was growing hoarse despite the dutifully refilled cup.
Vokara’s face softened. “Of course. He’ll be stopping by after class, in another hour or so. He’s been very punctual.”
“Master Windu? Alright are you? Silent, you have been.” Mace flinched upon being prodded with a stick. He opened his eyes, pinning Knight Kenobi with a steely gaze. Obi-Wan shrunk back, but Windu just sighed.
“You...” he trailed off. He stood up slowly, as if the movement pained him.
"I —" he said authoritatively, quieting the room. "—am taking a sabbatical. Call me when—” Windu gestured vaguely. “—you all sort out this mess.”
He walked out.
A long moment passed. “What did you tell him?” Master Plo finally asked in a hushed whisper.
"Ah..." Obi-Wan paused, limbs heavy with fatigue. "Well — you see— " He closed his eyes, feeling slightly cowardly as he did so.
//
When he opened them again, the light hadn't shifted nearly as much as other inbetweens, and his bandages hadn't been changed. Master Plo was still there, speaking quietly with Yoda.
Shit.
"Not too long that time," Vokara said, pleased. "I've lowered the dose on some of your medications, it should make it easier to stay awake."
"Oh. Good," Obi-Wan replied.
"Young Kenobi." Plo-Koon moved closer. "I dislike pressuring you in your current state, but... Master Windu appears to have left the temple. We were wondering..."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth, then closed it again, considering. His mind was, at last, starting to catch up with mouth. “He asked me... some questions. About how I came to suspect Palpatine," Obi-Wan said carefully. "It would appear I may have forgotten some details. About the evidence...Master Windu was — distressed regarding what I did and did not recall."
Vokara nodded. "Memory loss is completely understandable with the type of injuries you recieved."
"Alright, it is, if remember everything, you cannot," Yoda added kindly. "Our own investigations, ongoing are."
"So if I, ah, can't quite remember everything that led up to our fight," Obi-Wan asked, feeling guilty, but force, that blank look in Master Windu's eyes. "I mean I definitely remember the force willing me to decisively seek his end — really it was unusually loud about it," he added hastily. "If that helps."
Yoda nodded slowly. "This reason, understand we do. But, present to the public, perhaps not a good idea would be."
"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "I think — I'm not certain but I believe Quinlan Vos may have helped me collect some evidence..."
"Said as much, he did. Wait to confer with you, he wanted."
Obi-Wan sagged backwards with relief. "Yes. Yes! We had security concerns... Palpatine was so highly placed..." he trailed off.
"Considering Sifo-Dyas's and Count Dooku's entanglement in all this I can hardly blame you for hesitating to reach out to the council," Plo-Koon said, exhaustion audible even through his vocoder.
Obi-Wan choked on his spit; the following coughing fit was soon rewarded with a fresh bacta drink from Vokara.
Dooku?? Sifo-Dyas??
"Perhaps after I speak with him I'll be able to better assist with the current investigations," he offered hoarsely after recovering.
"Of course," Plo-Koon said gently. "Again, we apologize for interrogating you so early into your recovery but you really can't imagine the public and political scrutiny we've all been under —" He hesitated. "Master Windu was joking about taking a sabbatical right now, was he not?" he asked, sounding strained. "I know he's been under a lot of pressure, but surely you having memory issues couldn't—"
He was thankfully interrupted by the sound of small feet moving rapidly and a gangly body launching itself at highspeeds through the doorway.
Vokara just managed to snag the back of Anakin's robes before he crashed into Obi-Wan's medbed.
"Padawan Skywalker," she said, voice tight. "I believe I have mentioned the numerous injuries your master is recovering from and the need for —"
"Care in my movements," he said sheepishly. "Apologies, master, thank you."
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, something in his chest relaxing at the sight of his dangling student.
"Obi-Wan." His padawan's eyes immediately started filling with tears.
Obi-Wan reached out instinctively. "Oh, Anakin."
"Give you a moment, we will," Yoda said, hobbling out, as Vokara sighed, then gently placed his pupil on the floor.
"Of course," Plo-Koon agreed. "Take all the time you need." He hurried to catch up with Yoda. Obi-Wan heard him begin to say, "Mace can't actually be leaving us to deal with this clusterfu—'' Then the door closed, and Anakin was weeping at his bedside.
"Shh," Obi-Wan said, tugging his padawan up, ignoring the protestations of his abdomen. "There, there, it will be alright."
Anakin crawled up, movements ginger and uncertain around Obi-Wan's numerous injuries. Together, they somehow managed to shift Obi-Wan enough for Anakin to fit beside him. His padawan shook with suppressed sobs, and parts of him were almost certainly hanging awkwardly off the edge of the bed.
Obi-Wan ran one hand through Anakin's hair, the other hand gently resting where he could reach without twisting too much, probably an elbow, though the boy was pointy enough these days that he couldn't be sure. If Obi-Wan was also shaking, well. There was reason enough.
"Sheev," Anakin finally said, oozing misery and an overwhelming tangle of other unpleasant emotions into the force.
"...I know he was your friend—" Obi-Wan said, after what was hopefully not too long a pause. This was another conversation that probably wouldn't be helped by painkillers.
"But he wasn't, really." Anakin curled up, even more miserable. "I know. I should let go."
The side of Obi-Wan's head throbbed. On second thought, painkillers were the way to go here. "That's not what I meant," he said. "He was a friend to you. He's gone now. Because of me, your master. And... I'm sure you've found out a lot while I've been asleep. I can't imagine a single padawan learner who wouldn't be struggling with their emotions right now. I'm struggling."
"I'm angry," Anakin said into his side. "Master, I'm so full of anger."
"You think I wasn't?" Obi-Wan asked dryly.
Anakin hiccuped a sob. "I'm angry at everyone."
"It's alright, Anakin," Obi-Wan soothed. "You'll work through it in time. I'll be here to help, whenever you want. Even when I'm the one you're angry with."
Anakin sobbed another minute, force presence roiling, before finally pulling himself in with a deep breath, and wiping his nose on the sheets. "You looked so cool when you were angry," he mumbled into Obi-Wan's side.
"Oh force," Obi-Wan groaned. "Of course there was holofootage. Of course you watched."
"Are you... still angry?" Anakin asked.
Fuck.
Obi-Wan tried to think of the right answer for a padawan learner. His head throbbed again.
"Honestly? Right now I'm mostly just tired. I feel like I was run over by a pack of bantha. It's never a good idea to try and deal with large emotional gnarls while you're this exhausted, remember that my young padawan."
"You've been asleep for years," Anakin whined. "How are you still tired?"
"Years?" he asked, amused.
"At least three," Anakin huffed, curling up against him.
Obi-Wan stroked his hair in peaceful silence for a moment.
"...Did you really smash in his skull with a metal chair to protect me?"
"I would do a lot of things to protect you," he confessed. "I'm sorry Anakin — I should have talked with you when I grew concerned with his behavior. I felt at the time I had to act swiftly, but I worry I only caused you more pain."
"It was a really cool fight."
"...Thank you, padawan."
"Can you teach me how to choke people with my ankles like that?" he sniffled.
Obi-Wan groaned internally. "Of course, as a Jedi, violence—"
"Violence is our last resort," Anakin interrupted. "Right, yeah —but if it is needed—"
"—Such as when someone," Obi-Wan said over him. "After careful consideration, is found to be both politically insulated and positioned to commit great further harm—"
"Actually, I think you, the person who killed my trusted friend, lecturing me on why he was ultra especially irredeemably evil is traumatizing, even more traumatizing than all those holo compilations of you —"
"Oh force above, of course there's — oh. Oh no — please don't tell me—"
"The latest Jizz music," Anakin said, far too gleeful.
Obi-Wan groaned. Unfortunately, the extra movement in his chest triggered an admittedly ghastly sounding coughing fit and Anakin immediately lost the small edge of grace he had managed to cultivate during their back and forth.
"Master?" he asked urgently. "Master — hold on — I'll go get—"
"I'm fine," Obi-Wan rasped. "Any more of that —"
Anakin was already scrambling to fetch the pitcher.
Such a good boy, he thought affectionately, watching him pour and carry over a glass with the same care others might have when handling molten gold.
Obi-Wan drank with a reciprocal amount of delicacy, knowing his padawan was watching falcon-eyed for any wasted drops.
"Perhaps we should finish this conversation a little later," Obi-Wan said, once his airways calmed down.
Coughing should not be this exhausting.
"Of course," Anakin said, subdued, but he crawled back into bed readily enough when Obi-Wan patted it.
“Really, though —” Obi-Wan started to say, feeling it was duty to try and wrap up the lesson, but he was fortunately cut off before he was forced to figure out exactly what that lesson was.
“It’s alright,” Anakin chimed comfortingly. “We have time to talk about it, master. Can’t you tell?”
“Hm?” Obi-Wan replied, fighting the droop of his eyelids.
“The force clears,” Anakin said, voice sonorous. “The dark retreats.”
“Oh.” Obi-Wan’s eyes started falling closed. “That’s nice.”
“So we have time. To figure out the rest.”
“Very nice,” Obi-Wan murmured.
His padawan curled against him, force presence like ocean waves rocking him to sleep.
“The force says it’s going to be alright,” Anakin whispered, wonderingly. “It’s going to be alright.”
Obi-Wan smiled, then once again slipped back to sleep.
#star wars#star wars au no 41#star wars fanfiction#just kill him au#my au#ayyyyyyyy guess who just finished writing a fanfic from three years and several fandoms ago#ahahahahahahahaha#this one goes out to bullet journeling and my new antidepressants!#Antidepressants and bullet journeling! Sometimes they help you do stuff on purpose!#lol i'm writing these tags before actually finishing the fic. it's November 2024 for the sake of the record#POSITIVE VISUALIZATION BABY#if anyone wants to do a beta read on this for typos/grammar before i put it on ao3 feel free to message :)#senate investigation committee: what do you mean most of the evidence you collected before your duel is gone#Obi-Wan: it. it—#Vos: it exploded!#Obi-Wan (through clenched teeth): yes. as my colleague says. it. exploded.#senate investigation committee: [nodding] ah yes things connected to him do have the tendency to do that don't they#Obi-Wan: ...mhm#Plo Koon (on his third mug of space red bull that day): alright sith killer we found ANOTHER sith lab because — get this —#Vos: it exploded when he died?#Plo Koon: [making finger guns] it EXPLODED when he died!!!#Obi-Wan:#Obi-Wan: why is there a small jango fett clone attached to you#Kit Fisto: we're testing out an emotional support jango fett clone program. do you want one?#Obi-Wan: ...i genuinely have no idea if you're joking or not#Kit Fisto: to be honest neither am I#Obi-Wan: ...#Kit Fisto: there are a LOT of small jango fetts
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Scent Dynamics
Simple, surface level take on scent dynamics, including diagrams for locations of key anatomical points. Diagram sources: Blank anatomy models from Pinterest, then I uploaded them into Woodnotes and edited them to my own needs. CW: If you can't read my handwriting, just ask! My handwriting is messy, sorry!
Omegas
Compared to alphas, omegas generally have softer, more delicate scents. While there are exceptions, scents often include flowers, sweet scents like vanilla or caramel, fruity scents such as sweet berries, are among the common scent patterns. Scents follow a more “feminine” pattern while alphas have more “masculine” scents, although gender norms in terms of male or female are more loose in omegaverse as they’re overridden by alpha and omega. Omegas enjoy scenting their partners the most, and it is not specific to sexual settings. Scenting for omegas is an intimate act, and is ingrained from birth. Omegas generally scent their pups, beginning at birth and extending to the offspring’s mating. (So an omega will scent their pup until they have a mate of their own). Generally, omegas scent over the primary scent gland, which is the most major scent gland and the one located in the neck. The primary scent gland is the gland that is the most sacred to an alpha or an omega and is where a mating bite is placed. Betas do not have a primary scent gland. In addition, an omega’s scent intensifies during their heat cycle and may take on a more “pleasant” aphrodisiac note. During pregnancy, the scent is often sweeter.
Side note: Unpresented pups often have a scent like steamed milk, or a milky, soft scent.
Diagram: Attached
Diagram: Attached
Betas
Betas do not have scent glands, so they do not have individual scents. Occasionally, if a beta is in a relationship with a omega or alpha, it can be emotionally and instinctually satisfying for the partner to let them scent them.
Alpha
Alphas often have hardier scents, such as wood or sawdust (especially more fragrant ones such as pine or cedar), nature scents such as fresh rain, earthy scents such as wet soil or limestone, or crisp scents like ozone. Alphas tend to have “masculine” scents, granted masculine and feminine aren’t particularly solid concepts within the omegaverse as male/female is overridden by the overarching concept of alpha/omega. Alphas can also carry undertones to their scents, for example, an alpha may smell of fresh rain and iron, but carry a sweet scent as well of apples (FFVII Angeal Hewley’s scent in my headcanons). Alphas are territorial and scent their partner as a marking, similar to omegas. Alphas are more likely to scent their partner after mating, a rut, or their partner was around another alpha.
Diagram: Attached
#alpha beta omega#omegaverse#omegaverse headcanons#abo#abo dynamics#science of omegaverse#omega anatomy#alpha and omega#angeal hewley#visual representation
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IOTA BETA MU
INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES IS BEING USED
THE DOWNGRADED EXTRA, DELIBERATELY INCREASED IN NUMBERS INSTANCES ESPECIALLY, BY CRIMINALS FROM COMPLETELY OUTSIDE THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHO COMPLETELY HAVE PERCENTAGE-WISE NEVER BEEN IN LARGE SCALE CONTACT WITH MY LOCAL DOWNGRADE RELATED CRIMINALS YET LOOKED DOWN AT STUMBLING FOOTPRINTS MARKING THE MUDDY GROUND, AND KNEW, TRUTHFULLY THAT THOSE LIKE THEM CAUSED THAT LEVEL OF STUMBLING THROUGH COMPLICATED MACHINATIONS AND THAT THEY SHOULD DEFINITELY FOLLOW THEM TO SOURCES. SOURCE. OF MULTIPLE UNRELATED SETS OF STUMBLING FOOTPRINTS.
IBM IOTA BETA MU INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES IOTA BETA MU INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES IBM IBM TAPE IS DOWNGRADE FLAT SCREENS FOR LOOKING AT DESKS AND STATIONS ARE IN YOUR BUILDINGS
WATCH ARROWHEAD STADIUM...
;
#ibm#iota beta mu#INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES#it's always sunny in philadelphia#multiple unrelated sets - it's always sunny in philadelphia - not only danny devito#it's always sunny in philly#it's always sunny in philadelphia - the duster and visual patdown glasses - INDESCRIBABLY popular attire for handto hand mass murder w blad#it's always sunny in philadelphia - the boat tour - like fifteen that know each other yet all completely at war and war with the tour guide#everyone hates the tour guide first#the tour guide was first#the first#deep learning
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BEAKER CASTLE EVEN - A SimPE Deep Dive
Alright, so after stumbling upon some of the Beta pics on the Russian TheSims.cc site and this analysis post about the Beaker mansion, I became deeply curious if some of this would be reflected in the lot relationships. After all, some characters like Viola, Kelly, on top of several others could be found when digging through the raw and somewhat encrypted code of lots.
By now it's pretty clear that the Beaker home once belonged to this dude and his army of girlfriends (definitely check out the post I mentioned earlier). On top of that Loki (and possibly Circe) seems to have gone through at least two iterations before eventually settling on their final forms.
And on top of that whenever you scan the mansion in a completely new game, you will find fingerprints of primarily deceased Sims everywhere!
Now to get to the Sim relationships on the lot...
712 freaking Sim Relationships, all of which are unknown. Some of which still have stats set such as married, friends, relationship scores, etc. I tried comparing this to other lots in their neighborhood and NONE even come close. Both Olive and the Smiths have around 400. The other lots have below. And the only lots that are even a tad higher in this number are the Capps and the Summerdreams which makes sense when you realise that hood went through at least one other iteration before turning into Veronaville.
Now I wondered if the encrypted code (despite being very hard to read due to being partially encrypted) had any old Sim remnants left in there. And yep, several even. Many of which even have information such as their gender, hair, clothes and age in there. So lemme go over some of them:
1. First one, a guy who's name is partially encrypted so it will never fully be visible. It's not Johnny cause Johnny also has his character file on this lot.
A male teen with brown hair who used to wear the "tmbodyhoodedsweatshirtboardshorts" + the "tmhairhatcap" hairstyle.
2. Second is another teen, this time by the name of Zeeshan. He had black hair, the bucket hat hairstyle and wore the hooded sweatshirt, except with pants this time around (and grey apparently?).
3. The third was an adult male Sim by the name of Kenneth with black hair. Based on his info he was likely meant to be a Gardener Sim.
4. The fourth was one named Kana... Possibly a longer name cause once again the code becomes a bit shambled here. She too was meant to be a Gardener as seen by her outfit and hair data. Her hair would have been brown.
5. Elle, another female Gardener Sim, this one having red hair.
6. Vasyl, an adult male Sim who wore the busdriver outfit. Sadly his hair data seems to be blocked behind the code. For funsies I like to give the name to Bald Beta Loki, since he gives off that vibe. BUT, I think this was an NPC busdriver due to the outfit.
7. Joanne, an adult female Sim with an unknown hair colour in corn rows style and the classy afbodyjacketturtlesweaterdressboots. Sadly her ID is hidden behind the encrypted code, so it's hard to fully make out.
All of these Sims appear to be NPC/Townie Sims. None of them match ANYONE in the Beta pictures. And the current Townies/NPCs seem to have replaced them. Interestingly enough, those that were NPCs are still NPCs and those that were Townies are still Townies. Making me wonder if this is a thing that translates to other Sim IDs too. That Sims that were Townies in earlier iterations are still Townies in their new form. Same for NPCs and yep, Playables. This is merely an assumption I'm making on what I'm finding here, but if anyone can help research this further, that would be greatly appreciated, especially as this could mean the Viola ID may not belong to Viola Monty.
Viola is an odd case cause no outfit, hair or other data can be found in the lot file and she's only ever mentioned once in the context of lines filled with "sleep in pyjamas". But for now I cannot say anything with certainty unless more remnants of these old Sims could be found somewhere. OR, if these files could be read in its entirety which is quite difficult.
It's very hard to get a Sim ID attached to a lot (believe me I tried) and often times seems to rather happen accidentally than intentionally. Moving a Sim out or having a Sim die usually removes the data they once held to that lot. Good example is Loki in my current Strangetown who lived on this lot all of his life and when he died he had no remnants left on this lot.
REGARDLESS! The Beaker lot is ancient and seems to have been ground for a ton of testing, Sims and many more things. No wonder the Beakers got this home with its incredibly shady history. Half of the beta town was partying here!
#the sims 2#ts2#the beaker family#loki beaker#circe beaker#the sims 2 beta#beta sims 2#sims#sims 2#the sims#the encrypted code IS IN FACT Hex code btw#I figured this out when opening it in Visual Studio#main problem is that some of the hex is blank#meaning it’s unreadable at least in the file itself#SimPE manages to bypass some of it#but not all as we cannot find these Sim IDs in there
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In the omegaverse universe, who would be alpha, beta and omega?
Ohhh! I hadn't thought about this before, but it was kind of fun imagining them as each role. Honestly, I can see most of them being in all 3 roles. I did my best to narrow it down and pick the roles I felt best suited them, but I think it's pretty flexible depending on what angle you're going for.
Garret - A pretty stereotypical Alpha.
Marcelo - Tries (and fails) to act like a Beta but is actually an Alpha.
Camilla - Is a loud and proud Omega who doesn't take most Alpha's bullshit.
Rita - Probably the only Beta of the bunch. That being said, she's entirely focused on making sure you get what you need, when you need it.
Teagan - Acts like an Alpha but is actually an Omega.
#yandere#yandere visual novel#yanderes#yandere vn#male yandere#original character#crimson hydrangea#visual novel#crimson hydrangea vn#ask#garret belmont#rita miller#marcelo aguilar#camilla bello#teagan conners#omegaverse#alpha beta omega
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i've only got a few goals in mind for next year and number one is to draw more riley and lance. nearly half of these have riley in em and i have GOT to draw more of him. hashtag rileysweep
#kagarambles#end of year art summary#art summary 2024#i ain't tagging all the characters here. However i'd say this was a pretty good year despite a few hiccups#most i haven't posted because the time slipped from me/i didn't have too much to post lately#theres a lot that i Can't post because its visual novel dev. gotta keep my secrets til i make a halfway decent beta version#nov was mostly visual novel making so i can't post thoses. however i did like how my slither wing gijinka came out. love that bug!#i Am working on a general hub for my pkmn timeskip designs on neocities/nekoweb. coding a good general base is the current hurdle#toyhouse might be good in the meantime though. i plan on learning some more of that to make some adopts!#been itching to make some designs under a theme i have in mind. new year new hyperspecific challenges to give myself babeyyy#i gotta draw more riley though. fun goal for a fun guy on the mind! i think he deserves a lot of love and that's what i'm gonna do!#favoritest guy of the year award goes to riley!!!#if there's a demand for a zine of him or lance or the johto guys or just a general pokemon zine maybe. maybe i'd make some
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Highland cow onesie, Also @focusontheheart tommorow! Make sure you check it out to support all the lovely artists who brought it together! Anyway just dropping this doodle here and sharing my excitement.
#horizon forbidden west#beyond the horizon#horizon zero dawn#aloy#aloysobeck#highland cow#highlandcowonesie#onesie#cute#aloy despite the nora#beta sobeck#hfw#beta#hfw aloy#horizontheadventuresofaloyandbeta#aloy sobeck#betasobeck#elisabet sobeck#horizonfandom#focus on the heart#foth#focus#foth: countdown#foth visual novel fangame#art#artist#artcommunity#doodle#sketch#sketches
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beta mizisua !!!! (wip)
#alnst#alien stage#mizisua#sua alien stage#mizi alien stage#their beta designs are so good!!!#Like sua in a jumpsuit#My goddess looks SO GOOD in a jumpsuit#It makes her look so pretty :’D#And mizis beta hair(s) are super good and makes her look like such a pretty lady#Like ughhh they are such a visual couple#i love their initial design but their beta designs were also really good#SUA IN A JUMPSUIT#and sua with this cute ass hairstyle ahhh
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ignore the grammar mistake i barely took notice of it i will kms
anywho, showing you guys actual progress on how this thing is turning out. im still debating whether to give kumajiro or canada sprites. im still not done with most of the background illustrations for the first day (chapter??) but i will try my best not to let this go unfinished
#this is still in way early development. this will take me an abssolute outrageous amount of time to finish#so like. have patience........... im a college student with just a dream#give me a couple of months#also sorry in advance for any ooc for these guys💔💔💔💔#currently focusing on america's option bc i will give it to my friends to beta test his subroute#my cousin will be beta testing russia's lol#giving them a shoutout in advance for bearing with me lolz#i still have to search for a irl to beta test the rest of the guys....ughh groans#hetalia#hetalia visual novel#aph canada
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Are you fucking serious
#1st is a gen 6 beta pokemon. Fuck offffff#I think there could be a lot more creative ways to do a flamingo pokemon than these but the first one has a lot more visual flair#And you know. Looks like a flamingo Design and not Just a flamingo
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Todays rip: 19/04/2024
i love(d) you
Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume FF Also on: Now That's What I Call Quality! 3
Ripped by vvsvlogs
youtube
Requested by oetaboy and an anonymous reader! @oetaboy (Ask Box)
I'm sure this rip's been a long time coming for many - I know it has for me. I've had i love(d) you sitting in my drafts as far back as in March, but truthfully it's...daunting, to write about. Requested by two readers. Close to 200 thousand views on YouTube, and recently featured prominently in popular Clone Hero YouTuber Acai's "The Quality of SiIvaGunner" series. And the rip itself being an emotional gutpunch in a season filled with them, from a ripper who's already gutpunched me plenty with Wham! Into Dreams and The Paragoomba and the Wiggler. vvsvlogs, Vivi, I ask this with the most sincere gratitude possible - why must you do this to me?
Minecraft as a game has its emotional hooks in at least two generations of people - that much I think we're all aware of. A sandbox filled with endless possibilities, community, friends, individual stories of survival or of great creative endeavors, all wrapped in C418's hauntingly beautiful score, one I've discussed many times before with Fell From a High Place (Reprise), M-O-O-G City and Every Mob Wants To Rule My World. All of these rips are beautiful, yet they're all aiming to play with Minecraft's sound in some way - the former two rips are arrangement of its music with other games' instrumentation, and the latter rip is a melodyswap playing Everybody Wants To Rule The World. They all play on my senses in their own ways, they're all rightfully impressive - but nothing hits quite the same as Minecraft's own music, on its own terms. i love(d) you isn't aiming to impress or amaze - but it lands a full-on critical hit on one's heart through leveraging everything that's kept Subwoofer Lullaby alive for so many years.
I've talked plenty about my musical illiteracy, and so I hope it doesn't come as a surprise that I've never really listened to world-renowed singer Billie Eilish. She's been on the radio, I've heard Bad Guy, but it was never a name I gave much more thought beyond seeing her discussed online from time to time. You can imagine the absolute awe I was in when I clicked on i love(d) you when it first went up, already expecting an emotional hit due to the Minecraft song used, only to get goosebumps from Eilish's vocals alone. i love you is the penultimate song from Eilish's debut studio album, the very same that Bad Guy was featured on - yet compared to that track's bass-heavy, almost seductive energy, i love you feels remarkably personal, with little more than an acoustic guitar and piano accompanying the openly emotional vocal performance. It's sincere in a way I don't hear enough music be, as if a diary translated into song, much the same emotion that Because I Love You conveyed yet with even greater magnitude due to the vocals in play.
i love(d) you, uploaded for 2022's valentines day, wields both of these forms of love - the connections many of us have to one of the most impactful games ever made, and the unfiltered emotion of i love you - to create something unabashedly beautiful. Mashups aren't a novel concept, mashups are nothing new - yet one glance at the comments tells me that I'm not alone in finding this rip in particular to have struck an incredibly sensitive nerve. Because there's a beauty to Minecraft that I think many of us oft forget about. It's a game that we all cherish, yet also one that's very easy to have left behind: we have adult responsibilities, we have school, we have other, shorter, more concise games, we have social media, we have friends, we have blogs...the solemn beauty of playing the game itself is, for many viewers like myself, not much more than a memory, something that can feel ever so difficult to recreate without feeling as if something's wrong.
We...I'm...not a kid anymore.
There was nothing about i love(d) you's concept that necessitated it to be more than just the mashup. There rip had no need for visuals that'd help convey the edit like with Plantasia 2 or Luna, mi Amor, no need to tickle the funnybone like with SUNGORE or the hundreds of other YTPMV rips on the channel. Yet, halfway through the rip, to the tune of Eilish's soothingly reverberating vocals, the background begins to change, not to a bit, not to a reference nor easter egg...but to Minecraft. To where all of this attachment began - to a far-off view of the game's beautiful landscapes as the sun begins to rises. That digital world that looks different for every player, yet the same in everyone's hearts - that place that, no matter how many years pass, how long its been since we last played, we all love. Its impact different to everyone, yet the feeling unanimous. It drives home how well the mashup works not just as a mixture of two deeply emotional songs, but as music tied to a shared experience: all of our Minecraft worlds looked different, all of our personal lives look different, but we've all played the game, and we've all had affection for it.
Every moment I spend thinking about this rip aches in some way. It's been well past two years since it was first uploaded, yet it continues to follow me as the years go on, my mouse drawn to it any time it reappears in my recommendations. In being featured on 2024's Now That's What I Call Quality! 3, I think the team holds much the same sentiment - even as the months pass, i love(d) you is the kind of rip that'll never fall out of favor, never stop meaning things to people. And realizing that it was made by vvsvlogs, the very same vvsvlogs who's already made me far too emotionally vulnerable on here twice before, has only made it mean that extra bit more to me.
I'm not a kid anymore. I know that. But I'll always be grateful to SiIvaGunner, the people behind it, and those who follow it along with me, for being able to bring me back to that state of mind when I least expect it.
Thank you.
#todays siivagunner#season 6#siivagunner#siiva#vvsvlogs#rip visuals#minecraft#minecraft music#c418#subwoofer lullaby#minecraft alpha#minecraft beta#minecraft art#mojang#mineblr#billie eilish#acoustic#when we all fall asleep where do we go#Youtube
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Chapter 10: Back to square one
Snippet:
Mob slams his apartment door shut, heaving air into collapsing lungs. He stumbles in, trying to slide off his old sneakers but they catch on the edge of his heel. He falls forward, his powers unwittingly catching him before he can hit the floor. He sinks to his knees as he hunches into the ground of his genkan, blood trailing down the wooden floorboards from his palms.
Tears flow from his eyes like a broken faucet, snot running down his face as he chokes back the emotions that drag down his back like talons.
His hands burn; his chest constricts from running; his throat is raw and sore.
He hurt someone with his powers…
He did it again.
The one thing he vowed to never, ever, do again.
Hanazawa’s bloodied body is crystal clear in his mind. His brain won’t let him forget this.
Never.
He can never forget this.
Hanazawa deserved it!!! He wouldn't leave. Me . ALONE!!
No no no no no, he can’t think like that, nothing justifies this. Not even if he was boiling over from seeing…
Ritsu.
…
A sob catches in his throat.
Ritsu’s face… His words……
If you just got out of your goddamn head, if you just listened—
You never noticed! You never notice anything!!
I did everything to make sure our family wasn’t burdened by you.
Mob curls forward onto the floor, shoes halfway off his feet as he folds into a ball, pulling his hood down over his face, staining the fabric an even darker black. Quiet sobs echo around his home, as the walls close in.
#mp100#mob psycho 100#ageswap au#black sweatshirt#mp100 fanfic#my art#shigeo kageyama#tsubomi takane#tome kurata#shou suzuki#ritsu kageyama#Mob is not having a good time at the start#there is a surprise guest in this can you spot him#thank you as always to marina for betaing this chapter you are amazing and the best!!!!#i wish I had sketches for this chapter cuz some of the visuals in my head are so sharp but I never could get them down on paper#so I'll let the words speak for themselves
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Not sure if it's reassuring to me that several people on twitter coming forth to state they've played part of the game saying the actual gameplay maintains that dark fantasy feel, or if it's making me more suspicious
#like bc even looking at the previous game trailers#yes a lot of them use cinematics from the game that are tweaked and silly music#but all of them do give off 'serious shit is going down in thedas' vibes and a lot of visually dark and more somber scenes#this trailer is just. very bombastic i think?#and i hope its just like. some trailer that missed the mark and the rest of the game is what we expect#bc i can see how if edited some shots could've been more dark/gritty#like davrin fighting for example#but man that dislike counter is almost at 100k sjskjd#like yeah yeah we all know wait til Tuesday#but like. i feel like they must be a little 'oh shit let the beta players say something on twitter' 😂#i do have some conspiracy theories abt this trailer and like. ea and marketing#fingers crossed its a good sign that ghil dirthalen was basically paid to help w the lore among others#i need tuesday so i can know how i feel
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i bet you dont guess who is my favorite
BETA TEST DESIGNS FOR A VISUAL NOVEL
#visual novel#visual arts#beta test#vn#original character#oc design#dating sim#character design#oc art dump#oc artist#artists on tumblr#my art#oc art#digital art#yandere#original#Límites del Supervisor
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❤️Online Obsession: Beta Test 2nd wave
Hi there, I'm happy to announce that the beta will be getting its second official build soon which brings the game closer to its release. However, the existing beta testers pool is too small for the amount of content being added to the game, which is why I'm announcing the second wave of beta test applications.
As a beta tester you:
Will be joining a group of around 15 already existing beta testers
Will get to playtest the second build and builds published after it
Will get free game keys for Steam and Itch upon the game's official release
Will have your name in credits of the game as a beta tester
The application process will last for around a week. I will be accepting a very limited group of beta testers but everyone has a chance, so feel free to apply!
❤️Google Forms
#online obsession#adisorn moore#murder sim#game development#gamedev#visual novel#beta testing#indie games#indiedev#yandere
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Mchart week: The Road Trip
They are both unusually quiet in the morning. As if they are afraid to break the peaceful silence and ruin everything, so they let their bodies speak for their tongues. Kurt fries bacon and eggs, Diane warms up bagels and makes coffee.
A light brush of hands, short timid smiles. She adverts her eyes, and he feels a sudden pang in the chest. His arms snake around her waist, he just can't help it, his lips kiss the side of her head above the right ear. Despite the short glimpse of sadness he felt radiating from her just a moment ago, she leans in his embrace readily, caresses his back, kisses his shoulder. They're bathing in morning sunlight, in the warmth of their embrace and in the smell of the coffee.
"Kurt. Let's get away from the city for a while?" Diane blurts out.
"You mean, go to the country?"
"No... Go on a trip. Spend some time in nature." She knows he would love it. She knows that she will enjoy it too and they need it.
Kurt's eyebrows go up. Diane and nature: a beautiful combination but a rare one.
"Why?"
"To make a room," she pauses and finds his left hand with hers. "To clear more space for... love. Just be simply Diane and Kurt for a while."
Kurt is almost ready to laugh. He thinks that he is always himself and that being in love with her is his default state of being. But he gets it, so he just squeezes her hand and kisses her cheek instead.
"Do you have something particular in mind?"
"Nope. We can make arrangements today and go tomorrow."
"It's a deal then." He smiles into her hair.
The silence between them sparks with anticipation of something exciting as they eat.
***
Eventually they decide to go to Starved Rock. It's not too far from Chicago and it's beautiful.
Kurt's driving the car. Lyle Lovett doesn't provoke a sudden wave of longing anymore. The car doesn't reek of incense. Everything falls right into place. They're not going to meditate, they're going to walk and see the waterfalls, although Diane doesn't even mind watching him fishing for the whole day, breathing in the fresh air and the closeness of the most important person in her life she missed so much and desperately tried to forget in the fear of no future.
"You know what. We should try an axe throwing next."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah. I'll show you my moves." She adds with a cheeky smile.
"I always thought it's a pity that you had got over it before we could try it together."
"Maybe you'll find that the axes are actually hotter than guns."
"I know for sure that you'd look hot as hell with an axe. As for the technical side… Maybe I am a simple guy, but I like complicated things, you know."
"Oh, I know. You wouldn't marry me if you haven't." Diane sighs. "There are actually so many things we haven't tried doing together…"
The majority of the trip they discuss their plans for future activities they want to try, building a bridge to their life together in DC. Diane thinks that maybe her cowboy is not an artsy person but he sure knows how to have fun and make her feel warm inside.
The playful talk only dies out when they stop at a parking lot near a gas station to buy some coffee. Somehow coffee gets forgotten pretty quick as they indulge in a not exactly silent make out session.
***
“There is something humbling about the ancient rocks. We try to be important, be heroes, make a difference, while they’re just standing here and will outlive us all…”
“You’ll be able to make a difference again when you’re back in a courtroom. Real difference for real people.”
And you will feel better, his tender green eyes tell her. She already feels better. The earth, the rustle of leaves, water and his steady presence ground her. Baby steps are not so frustrating anymore. Finally she knows what she needs to do: go back to what she does best. Leading a law firm, fighting for clients she actually cares about. Finally she doesn’t feel so painfully alone.
She looks down at the calm water surface and muses.
This is crazy how you start to think that a person you have mutual interests with understands you on a truly deep level, seeking his advice because you feel like drowning, only to realize later that he doesn't know you at all. And it makes sense, because he really doesn't.
And this is crazy how a person, you have so little in common with on a surface level, gets you better than anyone else in the world. It doesn't make sense at all, but it feels so right when you don't overthink it.
***
"Ouch!" Diane stumbles and almost falls but Kurt's strong hand supports her in time.
"Are you alright, hon?" he asks gently caressing her side. Diane takes a deep breath trying to not lean too much onto him.
"I think I've twisted my ankle. I'll be alright in a minute."
"You need to sit down and rest for a bit…" Kurt looks around trying to find something suitable. Sadly, they are out in the wild and there are no benches. "What do you think about this nice looking rock?"
Kurt helps Diane to reach the big flat rock he spotted and sit down. Then he takes three steps back, checks her out affectionately and pulls the smartphone out of his pocket.
"You look like a princess who got lost in the woods."
"Yeah, seventy years old princess in leather pants", Diane answers sarcastically.
"Princess SexyPantsass", Kurt says lightheartedly and gets a perfect shot of her laughing. This will be a nice addition to his growing collections of Diane's photos.
When Kurt helps Diane to stand up again, his stomach grumbles loudly.
"I think we should head to the picnic area. Maybe this place has a dark history, but I don't want my galant knight to starve!"
***
Kurt gives Diane a plate with a hot aromatic grilled cheese sandwich and two sausages on the side while she spoonfeeds him a pasta salad she made this morning. He feeds her grapes. She wipes her hands with a napkin and pats his knee. They clunk two beers and toast their trip. The silence they've immersed into now is comforting in all its cozyness.
A gust of wind ruffles Kurt's hair, and Diane's fingertips tingle. He is relaxed, almost serene. He looks at her with such tenderness that her lips start tingling too. She brushes breadcrumbs from his mustache, lightly touching the upper lip with her pinkie. He smiles and kisses her fingers. She can't restrain herself anymore. One hand goes up his cheek and disappears in the thick silver hair. The other hand goes up his chest, then his neck. And they are kissing, and kissing, and kissing. Bottles fall clinking against each other. Diane silently prays for the bottles to be empty, but when they end the kiss she looks only at him.
"Now I'm starved for something else", Kurt breathlessly murmurs in her ear, sending a tingling sensation down her spine. Diane is half turned on, half hyper-aware that they're in a public space.
"I'm afraid we have to starve for this much longer, my love", she whispers, moving away from him. The look on his face when she says the last two words almost makes her cry.
“Thank you for coming back to me.” She literally breathes the sentence out. Her guilty look adds: Despite me hurting your feelings again and again.
It is both an apology for how she had left things and gratitude for him finally being here for her, not on the phone with a despicable organization, not somewhere else.
“Thank you for choosing us again.” Kurt answers simply, his voice is breaking in the middle.
Her brows form two slanting lines, her lips tremble. As though they both could go a different way. They almost did, but no, she couldn't, they couldn’t.
She just hugs him then. If she could melt into his soft flannel shirt, she would. His hands clutch so tightly on her back as if he is afraid she would disappear.
The next moment an angry kid passes them muttering something about "gross adults". They break their embrace and laugh, probably making the kid even angrier. The unexpressed thought makes them laugh even louder.
On the way back to the car they see a double rainbow.
"Everything is gonna be alright", Diane thinks. Kurt opens a car door for her. Going back home doesn't seem so depressing anymore.
_______________
The song in the edit: Love Will Keep Us Alive by Scorpions.
Thank you @rexlockhart for organizing such a wonderful fandom event! 💗💗💗
#the good fight#mchart#diane lockhart#kurt mcveigh#MchartWeek#diane x kurt#christine baranski#gary cole#the visual pun is half-intended :D#guess who hasn't written anything descriptive in ages#and yes i need a beta
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