#beta turbo

[king-crawler]

can't get over the concept art of him where he has a giant clunky helmet. this is an entirely different creature that scampers under your furniture at frightening speeds

[rodentbloodart]

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

[king-crawler]

EXPLAIN THIS YOU FOOL

i promised myself i wouldn't post about turbo again but i will one more time just to say. it is SO WEIRD when i see fanart of him with hair. i'm sorry but i don't think he has hair. i think he's bald under that helmet im sorry

[tagetto]

he stinks of diesel fumes, solder flux & cigarette smoke which has caked itself over the years into the fan blades of a used prebuilt msi gaming PC bought from ebay dot com core 2 duo high performance rtx 2.5 tdi 1.6 litre engine top speed of 48.3mph.

[silhouettehistory]

Vincenzo’s B ME SilhouetteHistory

Silhouettes of Lancia Beta Montecarlo extended family, including Abarth 030 ES, Beta Montecarlo Series 1, Montecarlo Turbo Group 5 Giro d'Italia, 037 Stradale and Kimera EVO37.

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[a110crazy13]

Monza by Oreste Morzenti - Lancia Beta Montecarlo Turbo

[taintandviolent]

Turbo Lover ; Eddie Munson x Reader

summary: After getting fed up with Jason Carver and his gross attitude, reader decides to take him up on a dare. That dare, is kissing Eddie Munson on the mouth. Something she's been longing to do since she arrived in Hawkins.

word count & w a r n i n g s: 3.5K | female reader, smut, use of pet names (princess, sweetheart, baby, etc.), fingering, handjobs.

a/n: started writing this back in *checks watch* july of 2022....... ahem. finished writing this to turbo lover by judas priest, if you wanna listen! just felt like an eddie song to me, don't ask for clarification. this could possibly be a multi-parter, haven't decided yet. my first (technically) eddie fic...... do not come for my throat, thanks. not beta-read, yada yada yada. divider by @/strangergraphics!!

full fic under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

“Oh, choke on it, Jason.”

“Maybe I’ll ask Mrs. Cowan for a replacement lab partner.”

Rolling your eyes, you resist the urge to fling your forkful of corn at him. “Hah! Please do. I’d rather stick my tongue down Eddie Munson’s throat and spend the weekend with mono than spend another blissful second trying to watch you figure out anatomy, dipshit.”

“Go do it then. I dare you.” Jason barks, nostrils flaring. He was going to call your bluff. There was no way that you were going to go over to that weird satanist’s table. Being more of a rocker, you weren’t posh and cute like Chrissy was, but you still had boundaries. And a good head on your shoulders. He knew you did. He hoped you did.

“Fine,” you snap, slamming both palms onto the table. “I hope you fail your science project.” Jason’s confident expression falls. Your rings scrape against the plastic as you push yourself up. With more determination than you’d had the entire semester, you swing both your legs over the bench and head for Eddie’s table, navigating around the other tables. The rest of his little dungeon buddies are already gawking at you as they’d been paying attention to the shouting. Confidently, you take a running leap up onto the table, and stomp your way down its length like a soldier marching towards enemy fire. The target, Eddie Munson, was staring at you with wide eyes and brows lifted.

“Outta my way.” The pointed tip of your boot sends an empty lunch tray flying off the table and clattering onto the floor.

“Hey, Munson!” You drop down onto your haunches, and now, eye-level with him, grab his face and pull it towards you, crushing your lips against his. The roll he’s holding drops from his grasp, falling lifelessly onto his tray. As soon as his plush lips press into yours, giving way to your tugging, your shoulders relax, melting into the kiss. You had been waiting for an excuse to get his attention since you’d sat down in your first class at Hawkins High, daydreaming about talking to him. You’d spent many a class period staring at Eddie’s lips, so you expected the kiss would be enjoyable… but not like this.

At first, both of your lips were closed, smushed together in the hurriedness of the moment, but when you exhale and his lips part, your tongue delves into his mouth, sweeping along his. To your surprise, he reciprocates the action, and presses his chin up into yours, asserting a new sort of need. Despondent groans and laughs of shock pepper the cafeteria around you, and from behind you, came the confusion of the other residents of the table. As you take Eddie Munson in literal mouthfuls, you felt something shift in him, and the noise started to fade away. You tilt your head, and push deeper into the kiss.

“Who the hell is she?” One of the boys asks, clearly as confused as everyone else was.

You shudder against him, feeling a burning heat between your legs, and immediately pull away to stand up, turning to face the far table. Jason was staring at you, looking more embarrassed than disgusted, but he did well hiding it with his scholarship scowl. You wipe the back of your hand across your mouth, drawing your — Eddie’s— the mutual saliva across your cheek. Triumphantly, you hold your arms out, daring the blonde haired moron to say anything further. He doesn’t. 

With a proud smirk on your face, you pivot back to Eddie, lips parted to speak, maybe to apologize to him for being so forward. All that comes out though, is the jarring echo of the lunch bell as it rings loudly through the cafeteria. You take that as an excuse to get out of the situation, and step down onto the bench between two of his little minions, then onto the floor. With your heart pounding in your chest like a drum, you make a beeline for the lockers. You’re practically running down the halls, and for what? To get away from Eddie? The guy you had just swapped spit with? And liked it?  

After shaking his head free of the shock, Eddie hurriedly bins his lunch and takes off after you, leaving the boys to their own devices. He was panting quietly once he’d finally caught up to you. “Hey, just wait a minute, okay?”

You say nothing, and keep digging in your locker for a book you knew wasn’t there. You’d left it at home, sitting on the edge of your bed. 

“Come on, you can’t just plant something like that on me and run away, man.” You hear a thump against the locker next to you, and out of the corner of your eye, see him leaning his shoulder into it. You huff and keep digging.

“You really think I’d give you mono?” He asks, sounding hurt.

Forcing your breath out through your teeth, you stop digging, and lean back to look at him. Those puppy eyes…

“No,” you say, feeling bad that he even heard that to begin with. You shut the locker. “I don’t. But the point was that I’d rather suffer with y— errr suffer any sort of wicked sickness than be even remotely happy around him.”

“So… why’d you stop? Was it that bad?”

“No, actually. It wasn’t. I stopped because I… um, the bell was going to ring.” That was a lie. You stopped because your beating heart had sunk between your legs. Kissing him was a massive turn-on, but you weren’t about to admit that.

“That it did…” he starts, absentmindedly playing with a strand of his own hair. “And now we’re late.”

You narrow your eyes. His brows flick upwards and the tip of his tongue presses pointedly into his lower lip, a little glimmer of mischief in his expression. Ready to prove him wrong, your eyes dart to the clock above the lockers, the visual causing you to curse under your breath. You hadn’t even heard the second bell, but he was right. Three minutes past. And Mr. Jenkins? Didn’t let anyone in after the bell rang. Fucker. Eddie shimmies closer, his soft, brown eyes falling to your lips. He was smiling, watching you and looking like he was daydreaming about having those soft lips against his again. 

“You wanna’... maybe show me what else you’d rather be doing than spending your time with brainless Ken dolls?”

You considered the offer for a moment. You had been pining after him since your first English class with him, and now… your split decision had thrown open the door to opportunity. When you’d tried to close it, Eddie had put his dirty white Reebok right in the way.

“Screw it, let’s go.” 

“Yeah?” He confirms, excited.

“Yeah.” 

Eddie wastes no time, taking hold of your hand as he passes you, towing you in the direction of the doors and out into the parking lot. 

How did you end up here? In retrospect; you’d probably have to thank Jason for pissing you off that day, in that particular way that really drove you over the edge. Because if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been crawling into the back of Eddie Munson’s van while he stood behind you, looking at the gentle curve of your ass.

After throwing a cautious glance over his shoulder, making sure there weren’t any prying eyes watching the two of you, Eddie follows you inside and pulls the door shut behind him, the metal squeaking loudly. You sit down and cross your legs, resting against the interior wall. The inside of his van is warm, having baked in the sun all afternoon. Cassette tapes litter the floor behind the seats, and a Judas Priest shirt hangs over the headrest of the passenger seat. A few undisclosed cables are wadded up in the corner, you assume they were musical in nature. He seemed like the type. It’s exactly what you’d pictured his van to look like. 

Eddie clears his throat. “Sorry about the… mess.” 

You chuckle, looking brightly at him. “I don’t care. Plus, Judas Priest is rad. That song that came out last month… Turbo Lover? Gets stuck in my head all the time.” 

Delighted by this reaction, Eddie knee-walks over to you, that same mischievous smile on his face as before. He leans down, exhaling over your lips before looking into your eyes with a burning curiosity.

“Why were you sitting at his table anyway? You don’t seem like his type.” 

“His type? Gah, gross. No. We’re lab partners. Regrettably. Turns out, he’s kind of a massive dolt when it comes to science.” You pause and heave a sigh, your breath rushing out over his cheeks. He blinks. “I really don’t want to talk about Jason right now, Eddie.” 

“Oh yeah, totally.” With that, his hand snaps to your jaw, where he holds it gently, his thumb stroking your cheek. “You wanna’ makeout or something?” 

You can’t help but laugh, unsure if it’s because of the butterflies in your stomach, or because he’s kind of a dork. Smooth and very charming, but a dork all the same. You chalk it up to a combination of both and lean forward until the tips of your noses touch. “Yeah, Eddie, I wanna’ makeout. Again.”

This time, Eddie is the one to initiate the kiss. He presses his lips against yours softly a few times, your lips sticking together each time he pulls away. Relishing in the taste of you, he hums into the kiss, pressing himself closer to you. After a few moments, he breaks the kiss to readjust his position. The break is too long, it seems, because before you know it, he’s back to leaning over you and craning his neck down to kiss you from above. His hands drop to find your neck, his thumb trailing down over the front of it while the others stay tenderly wrapped around the side, squeezing slightly. The motion sends a deep shiver down your spine, reigniting the embers of your arousal. Eddie laughed breathily into the kiss. 

“Quite the reaction…” he murmurs over your lips.

“Oh, shuttup.” Your hand makes a fist in his shirt, pulling him back onto you. “Keep kissing me.” 

“As you wish.” He says dreamily, with lust woozying his speech. His voice is slightly deeper now, laced with hunger, and you whimper, pressing your knees together. Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie notices this, and moves his free hand to your kneecaps, wriggling in between them to separate them. They fall apart with no resistance, and again, Eddie’s chuckle vibrates against your lips, sending a tickling wave over them. Your willingness almost embarrasses you, but when Eddie says nothing, only moves to slot himself in between your thighs, you realize that he’s into it. 

“No need to be shy here, princess. Just you and me.”

Your hands wrap around his neck, fingers splaying out over his back. “God, you’re cute.” 

“So are you.” 

“No, you’re really cute.” 

Eddie pulls away, furrowing his brow as if he’s confused. He is – he’s confused on whether or not you realize he thinks you’re a catch, too. You sense the confusion, and roll your hips up against his. His breath hitches in his throat, eyeing you pleadingly. It’s a warning – you can’t do things like that lest he lose control.  

“Uuughh,” you moan. “I don’t know why it took me this long to kiss you.” 

“Me neither.” 

He presses his lips against yours again, his tongue slipping past the two plush pillows, tasting the waxiness of your lipstick. Swiping his tongue along yours, he deepened the kiss, enticing you to join in a painfully erotic dance of spit-swapping. He exhales hotly over your mouth and grinds his hips against yours, groaning softly into your mouth. You grind back, knowing exactly what you’re doing. You can feel what you’re doing to him; it was currently pressed against your inner thigh. 

You reach down between your bodies, finding the warm bulge in the front of his black jeans and give him a soft squeeze. The sudden contact makes him lurch forward, crushing himself somehow further against you. He can’t get any closer to you without melting into your body which, in truth, makes him crazy. He makes a sound — something between a whine and a gasp — and ruts his hips against your center. The pressure has you reeling, pressing your back against the inside of the van. 

“Eddie, fuck…” 

“Yeah,” he echoes your sentiment, nodding his head so enthusiastically that his soft brown hair flutters. 

“Can I…?” 

He grins. “You can if I can. It’s only fair.” 

You let your legs fall farther apart, granting him access. With a newfound urgency, you quickly yank on his waistband, pull the silver button from its slit and maneuver your hand inside the elastic of his boxers. On the way down, you rake your fingers through the thatch of brown hair above his cock. Eddie responds by tightening his grip on your neck instinctively. The tips of your fingers find the searing hot head of his cock, precum leaking from the slit. With an audible mmmm, you swipe your thumb over it, smearing around the underside of the tip. Eddie hisses through his teeth, rutting his hips over and over again – forcing you to jerk him off a little. The tip slides through your fist, slippery and warm and you can’t help but let out a satisfied sound. 

“Wow,” you breathe, in awe. You weren’t sure what you expected, but feeling a cock this heavy wasn’t on the menu. You’d been with a few metalheads before, and they were all average at best. You thought he’d follow suit. Not heavy in your hand. But he is. God, he is. Eddie licks hungrily at your mouth before running his tongue along your bottom lip and taking it between his teeth, biting down slightly. You groan, pressing your head back against the wall. 

“Fuck, Eddie,” you say, breathlessly before squeezing his cock again. It twitches in your grip, hardening just a little bit further. You can feel the tension in his lower abdomen every time you slip your hand deeper into his boxers, tugging at his cock as you slide back up. 

His hands drop from your neck to your waist to your hips, his thumb making circles on the strip of exposed stomach flesh between your black leather skirt and your shirt. One hand sinks lower,  moving from your hip to your leg, sliding against the pillowy, cream soft flesh of your inner thigh.  It slides up your skirt, pressing against the nylons, and grazing your cunt from the outside. Inside his jeans, your hand starts to go slack, but Eddie quickly snaps you back to attention.

“I’m gonna’ need you to stay focused, baby. Don’t stop.”  

“S-sorry.” You pick up the pace, stroking his cock again at a much steadier speed. He lets out a soft groan, the feeling of your hand gently stroking his dick sending him into a haze of pleasure. But, he, too, has to focus. 

Eddie gets back to work, carefully undoing the zipper on the side of your skirt. He tugs, shimmying the skirt down over your hips and continues pulling until he pauses to pull your legs from the black circle, tossing it towards the van doors. Now, the only thing between him and your cunt is the fabric of your tights and your white satin underwear. You’re painfully aware of this fact and so is Eddie – the look on his face says it all. He sweeps you into another kiss. 

It’s almost as if he was using the kiss as a distraction from the adept way he’s rolling your nylons off your hips and down your thighs. You almost don’t feel it and don’t notice until he’s got them down around your ankles. 

“May I?” 

“May you? What is this –” You asked, trying to tease him, but your voice is so high pitched, so feathery with lust, that it just sounds ridiculous. You huff and nod, giving him whatever permission he felt he needed. 

His middle finger traces the visible slit in your underwear and embarrassingly, your whole body responds. From your legs snapping shut on his hand to the utterly humiliating moan that tumbled off your lips, there’s no coming back from that reaction. Eddie laughs quietly, almost devilishly and you relax your legs again. 

“Sorry, I’ve… I’ve been…. Um…” 

“Keep talkin’, sweetheart.”

“Oh god, fuck… I’ve kinda’ sorta’ had a thing for you since English with M–”

“Mrs. Lawrence? Last semester.” 

Your mouth hung slack. He knew? 

“You really thought you’d walk in, looking the way you do, and I wouldn’t remember?” 

Your stomach tightens underneath your shirt; butterflies are erupting beneath the skin. Any further jabs to your heart and they actually might rupture through your ribcage.

His finger sweeps along your center again, before hooking around the scalloped edge of the panties and pulling them down over the curve of your hip. A clear, slick strand stretches between your cunt and the fabric before snapping. Eddie growls, a deeply pleased sound erupting from his throat. 

Two fingers part your folds, sweeping tantalizingly at the underside of your clit before sliding down to your entrance. He prods the opening with his middle first, making tiny circles and spreading your arousal around your cunt. Finally, he inserts both fingers, sinking them to the knuckle. Moving his arm, you watch as the bats literally fly back and forth and let out a small, breathy laugh. The way he was working you felt so good, your hand instinctively tightened around his cock. Eddie shuffled closer, his knee in front of your cunt. Before you have time to react, Eddie abruptly takes hold of your left hand and brings it above your head, holding it tight against the wall of his van, his rings pressing into your fingers. Your digits tangle with his and he flays them open.

He continues thrusting his fingers in and out, watching your every move. You looked up and whined loudly; the sight of your smaller hand entangled with his larger one was divine, and sent another shockwave through your core. The coil in your stomach wound tighter, and tighter. Your body flushed with heat, and you were suddenly wishing you were naked underneath him. Eddie suddenly leans over you, pressing the side of his face against yours. 

“I’m your turbo lover…” He sings quietly in your ear, his tone honeyed and low, absolutely dripping with sex appeal. Your eyes roll back in your head, your jaw falling open. “...tell me there’s no other…” 

“Oh fuck, Eddie, oh my god-!”

At the singing, your needy pussy clenched around his digits, shivering violently. His thumb moves to your swollen, tender clit, rubbing it back and forth expertly. The coil snaps, and you moan loudly, banging your head against the wall a few times. 

“OH MY GOD!” 

You shouldn’t have found it so hot, but the way he sung the lyrics into your ear sent a wave of electricity through your entire body. As the sound of your moans reach his ears, Eddie groans and bucks his hips rhythmically, pumping himself closer to the edge of orgasm. 

After a few more pumps from you, his back arches and he groans your name – another surprise that he knows that – as his hot, sticky release coats your fingers as wave after wave of pleasure surges through him. The flushed, pink tip was exposed enough that when he does finally lose it, the first spurts of cum find their way onto your shirt. He doesn’t notice right away, still thrusting his hips into your loose fist. Finally, he brings his head forward to look at you again. His chest is heaving, panting from the exertion, and his eyes trail from your face down to your shirt. The wanton look is replaced with one of horror. 

“Jesus, I’m sorry! Here uh,” Eddie paused, stretching over to yank the shirt from the seat. “Wear this. I promise it’s clean. Decently… uh… clean.” 

You didn’t care if it wasn’t. The fact that he had given you his shirt because he accidentally came on yours was single handedly the cutest thing you’d ever had a guy do for you. You withdrew your hand from his boxers, and he let go of your other hand. Quickly, you pulled your shirt over your head and wadded it up in a ball, setting it next to you. His shirt was baggy, but you quickly remedy that by tying the front in a knot. The way that Eddie’s eyes skirted over your breasts wasn’t lost on you. You smirk. 

“Think Mr. Jenkins noticed we were both gone?” He asks as you fluff your hair. 

“Probably. F’s for both of us.” 

Eddie smiles.

You look down at the shirt, trying to talk your blushing cheeks down. “I’ll give this back to you. Remind me.” 

“Sure,” he says, not fully convinced he wants it back. He likes the idea of you wearing his shirt around school. A dirty little reminder of what occurred. “You should come to one of our meetings.” 

“Meetings?” You ask, quirking a brow. 

“Yeah,” he says, plucking his shirt. Your eyes drift down to the red, snarling demon on his chest. The words Hellfire Club crown the demon, decorated with medieval looking weapons.

“Right, right. Dungeons and Dragons… I’ve never played it.”

“I’ll teach you, sweetheart. Don’t worry.” 

[PART TWO HERE]

[magicalink]

Do they fuck or do they make love?

Headcanons with no specific AU! Mainly character x reader but it ended up implying character x character ships too in sime characters. I wrote this headcanons and when I was reading them to my boyfriend (who is my only beta reader) he started giving his opinions about them and I found his comments absolutely hilarious so I decided to include them! 🤣 First go my headcanons about the character and then my boyfriend's comments indented. Some of them are unhinged 🤣

Venti: Depends on the partner and the situation. He adores making delicate love to you but he's always up for a quickie in the middle of the house, the forest, anywhere and anytime you're willing. And oh Archons, is he intense when he does any of the two! He likes sex to be THE experience, and he tends to be over the top when it comes to it. Also an uncontrollable moaning machine.

Bf: Nah, he fucks. All the time. Cuz he is drunk all the time. We all know his only love is alcohol. I agree on the moaning machine part though, he is loud and doesn't care if others hear.

Diluc: Makes love. He has no time for sex if it's not with the love of his life. Doing it with him is a ceremony to remember. Expect long sessions full of kisses, heartwarming confessions, and body worshipping.

Bf: Accurate. Total gentleman. He only makes love. And possibly the first time you do it he will propose to you the morning after.

Childe: Fucks. He is all in for the adrenaline and pleasure in life, whether it's battle or it's lust. He wants to dive in and feel as much as he can,the more intense and dangerous, the better.

Bf: A fucking degenerate. He loves violence and competition and if he doesn't get it in sex then he's not interested. More of a masochist than a sadist, don't be surprised if you fight him and he ends up insinuating sexually to you. Especially if you're winning the fight. He wants to get beaten up. To sum up, he has a very weird way of "making love"...

Xiao: Makes love. To him, it's something sacred that should be shared with the people you love and respect the most. Will worship every inch of your body and be desperate to convey his feelings to you. Will focus completely on your pleasure, so make sure to calm him down and reward him a bit too!

Bf: Turbo virgin who self cock blocks all the time. He is always afraid: of hurting you, of making you uncomfortable, of saying something wrong, of looking at the wrong place...If you moan he asks you if you're okay. He gets soft all the time because he is afraid of hurting you. He has suicidal thoughts half the encounter. But yeah he makes love.

Albedo: Who knows, really. He's still studying what's the difference between the two. And he sure is doing an experiment and carefully studying it when he has sex with you. To be perfectly clear, he loves you, but this whole thing about sex and human relationships is new to him so he's trying to understand all these new feelings. 

Bf: "Making love? Fucking? What is that? I'm the chalkman." Doesnt have a dick and if he had, he is not interested in human relationships at all. But if you manage to fuck him he would be writing down notes about it the whole time.

Scaramouche: Fucks because he thinks giving in to love will make him weak.💔

Bf: Fucks and he only thinks about his mommy issues while doing it. He only fucks to dissociate. And if you treat him with basic human kindness he will start seeing you as a maternal figure so be careful.

Wanderer: Now understands that lying about his feelings is the true form of weakness and doesn't want to waste a single more second of life, he makes love to you making sure he makes crystal clear how he feels about you: in the most explicit, toe-curling, fluid dropping way he can. If you like it hard, prepare to be smacked until you can't sit the following day.

Bf: He's gone to therapy so the mommy issues are better but he's still annoying af. He plays hard to get and pretends not to be committed but the truth is he's just being tsundere and hiding the fact that he is eating from the palm of your hand.

Kazuha: Makes the finest comfiest love in the world. Fucks like a horndog when he's drunk or high but won't stop telling you how crazily he loves you while doing it.

Bf: He is high af the vast majority of the time and during sex, it's no exception. If you manage to fuck him sober he will be the super reflexive and emotional type that cries during sex. But he fucks you lovely but won't make love to you, he only makes love with the love of his life Tomo, the rest of you are his cattle. He's a super friendly guy so after sex he will share his weed with you.

Gorou: He's a gentleman who wants to become good at making love but is extremely shy and gets flustered easily so he fucks sloppily. An adorable sight to behold!

Bf: I agree he is a little gentleman.

Tighnari: Makes love. Except when he's in heat. Then you have to be prepared if you wanna handle him. 

Bf: another stoner. He would experiments with aphrodisiacs all the time, makimg them into weird salts or sth.

Cyno: Very similar to his jokes. He's completely sure he's giving his best at making love to you or Tighnari and showing you his devotion, but his poker face, stoic manners, and scary appearance make him look like he's angry fucking you. He doesn't get what he's doing wrong and doesn't do it on purpose. But it doesn't matter since you know him very well and not only are you used to his antics but you also have become sensitive to his very subtle changes of expression.

Bf: He can't help bit to tell bad jokes when he fucks. Self cockblocks himself all the time: either he goes soft in the middle of the act because he's laughing at his own jokes or he makes so cringy jokes that his partner gets uncomfortable and leaves. He can't help it, if he doesn't get them our he will explode.

Itto: Fucks wildly but it's his way of making love. He is just too brute to control the size and strength of his body, especially when he is under the effect of the feral feelings he has for you. 

He loves you so much he can't help but to pick you up like you're a potato sack and swirl you in the air like you are a rag doll and take you with him everywhere. When he hugs you he leaves you breathless, when he kisses you he leaves you all sloppy and when he fucks you…well he leaves you sore for weeks but let's say it's totally worth it!

Bf: totally disagree! It would be so hard to fuck him, he would be clueless and friend zone or family zone you all the time. If you tell him you wanna be more than friends he would say "Superfriends??" With the biggest smile. And if you manage to fuck him he would be super careful, he knows he is a brute and is scared of hurting you.

Thoma: Makes super lovey-dovey love. Always double-checks if you're comfortable and enjoying the experience. Knowing he's making you feel good makes him glad and arouses him so don't be shy and tell him if he's doing it well!

Bf: nononono, absolutely wrong, you're blinded by his looks. He is a degenerate masochist and he only fucks Ayato. They have this weird dynamic where he literally acts as his dog.

Ayato: Another one who depends on the partner and situation. Honestly, he's so overworked that he desperately needs a good fuck. Ok maybe many of them. But not only he doesn't have the time, but also he can't be seen sleeping around due to his political position, so probably he'll only get to have sex when he finally finds the person he wants to marry. He hopes to be able to marry someone he actually loves instead of marrying for political reasons. So if you're the lucky one, expect heated sessions of lovemaking from this touch-starved man! Also, he'll love you but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop being a merciless tease 👀

Bf: Degenerate sadist who only has eyes for Thoma and makes him go through so much weird stuff they don't even remember what is to have normal sex. Tying him up and putting him on a leash is the most normal thing out of what they do.

Kaeya: Fucks. He lives for the spectacle and the mystique of it. Also, he's super popular around Mondstadt and wherever he goes so he sleeps around a lot. He has tons of admirers from both sexes and he makes sure to reward their love and devotion. He knows exactly how to please people, how to exacerbate his natural beauty and how to leave them crazy for him. He's simply so erotically natured. Probably the most experienced guy you know in the field. 

Bf: Agree. Turbo slut. No more comments needed. If he manages to open his heart he can be sensitive. But that only happened once and it was with his own reflection in a mirror.

Heizou: Fucks lovingly 💕 He loves teasing and making his partner flustered. People and relationships are simply so fun and fascinating to him. And when he gets to be sexually intimate with someone it's even better! If you end up involved with him, be prepared to be taken to your limits.

Bf: Another degenerate. Probably makes you pretend you're a criminal to chase you around town. Pretty sadistic and I can imagine him having yandere tendencies. A cool guy though. When he is not horny.

Al Haitam: Zero interested in the matter. Until he met you. He is learning everything from scratch and even though he's always been a fast learner in everything, this subject is particularly hard since he needs to stop rationalizing and let his feelings take control for once. But his feelings for you are pretty intense, so little by little he is learning how to make love to you 💚

Bf: I imagine him as a turbo aspirator 3000. He would suck your soul out of your genitals. If you manage him to make him interested in sex, which is highly unlikely because he is like 0 interested in any kind of human contact. I picture him having sex with Kaveh and Kaveh would be a pillow princess and Haitham despite being the kind of guy who always sits down and just reads books he would be restless in bed, doing all the job and moving him around.

Kaveh: Another sweet-sweet love guy! He'll make sure to treat you like a princess and spoil you rotten in and out of the bedroom. He'll do the corniest expressions of chivalry but please bear with him, it genuinely comes from his heart. But if you want to see a more sloppy and wrecked side of him, you can always seduce him after he goes to the bar…

Bf: Sassy pillow princess. Or prince? Idk how to say it. He doesn't do anything but he will be all the time criticizing or praising what you do like a talent show judge. "Come on? Is it the first time you suck a cock or what?" You can imagine this kind of behavior is what infuriates Al Haitham and motivates him to go feral and fuck him around the whole house until he shuts the fuck up.

BONUS: This is an old draft but now that Neuvillete and Wriostheley are out, we couldn't let them out! So for this, we are interchanging roles, my bf will give you his headcanons and I will comment!

Bf: I'm 100% sure both Neuvie and Wriot are completely opposite in bed from their personalities in public. Our chivalrous and calm Neuvie is a pasional beast in bed. He is unsatiable, he is a dragon after all. Gives me the same vibes as Zhong Li who acts super calm but when fucking Childe he destroys 3 hotel rooms every night (exactly the type Childe loves. He got a crush on him when he struck him down at Fontaine's court. I'm sure Zhong Li will get jealous when he finds out and we will have some dragon drama going on) Back to Neuvie, he is super feral but he doesn't fuck, he makes love. It's his draconic way of making love. He is also very emotional and if he likes you, after having sex and having calmed down, he will open his wallet and start showing you the pictures of his 300 Melusine daughters and tell you their names and each of their jobs. He is a very proud dad.

Wriothesley loves you from a distance. While you fuck he is super sweet and loving, but during everyday life, he sucks at showing his feelings. He reminds me of the dad of Komi San, super silent but full of love. He communicates through glances (like a dog). Everyone thinks he is a bad boy but he's a super sentimental guy (won't admit it though) If you give him a gift he will treasure it forever and if someone breaks it or steals it from him he will beat them up.

One of his phrases would be "If something happens to my schmoochpsiepups I will kill everyone in Teyvat and then myself," and when he messes up with you for being unable to show his emotions he goes to a karaoke and sings "Baka Mitai" all depressed. He has 0 emotional intelligence and would go there often, crying "Oh, I wanted to tell Y/N how much I love them before they went away and I just groaned 'hmmm' AGAIN 😭😭".

YET ANOTHER BONUS: If Neuvillete and Wriothesley were in a romantic relationship, I'm sure Neuvie would tell him about all of his Melusine daughters. Wriot would act all cold and as if he didn't care but in fact he remembers all their names and thinks about them as his adoptive daughters. Don't be surprised if you walk down the street and see a Melusine falling down and he rescues her and goes to buy her an ice cream cone. He is a proud dad too.

Me: I have no comments. I agree with everything. And Wriot singing Baka Mitai would be amazing, he has the voice of Jotaro and Erwin after all.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow this post was longer than intended. AND ONLY NOW I realize we left Lyney and Zhong Li out. I guess bc to me Lyney is kinda teen coded? I feel like they wasted so much husband material making him look so young. I've seen the fandom drawing him as an adult and he looks so hansome. And both my bf and I rambled about Zhong Li but we forgot to include an entry for him 😂 He says it's ok because he's tied to Tartaglia and we spoke about him in Tartaglia's section 😂 God we are a disaster. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the post, whether you found the headcanons hot or my bf's comments funny. He is scared of getting cancelled though 😂

[shinji285]

Lancia Beta Montecarlo Turbo.

[penaltyboxboxbox]

whats stopping you from posting your omegaverse headcanons my king……do it

truly what is stopping me....ok my omegaverse assignments under the damn cut and honestly thank you to @wewentcarracing my fellow scholar who's own research has DEFINITELY influenced my own

Charles: this bitch is an omega. everyone is in love with him and he smells so good and is distracting to everyone in the damn room. we're going to question his abilities because of it too he will face anti-omega media bias despite the achievements of other omega drivers all of charles mishaps are blamed on the fact hes an omega

Carlos: alpha idc what you contradictory parties wanna say hes a big hairy alpha and hes proud of it. but hes like pretty well managed and likes to act like hes a lot more...idk wild during his ruts and stuff but like in all reality he keeps it together very well but just uses being an alpha as an excuse to hoe around.............is not mated to charles but like wants to be soooooo badly and like the way charles plays around it constantly makes him insanely whipped . as he fucking said it himself he wants to bite charles and has to control himself. ok.

Pierre: i cant decide honestly like sometimes i want him to be an alpha who has no self control and sometimes i want him to be a very ashamed omega. depends on the day and also what i'm assigning for esteban....

Esteban: He is either a beta or a really lame alpha..............i like him being an alpha making him super protective of lance but like THEY DONT LIKE EACH OTHER THAT WAY but like. maybe a little a esteban just too polite to lance to say anything. teehee. omega pierre x beta esteban is goated also. just saying.

Lance: OMEGA.............uses this as an excuse to always be laying down and being sweet and asking people to do things for him :) and they always do. also he has the most sweaty disheveled unwell heats ever and just generally reeks of maple syrup and pancakes

Fernando: alpha and he wont let you forget it. he stank. hes freaky. yeah. talks about it TOO openly. everyones had a taste too like can you blame them. guy who is also like slobbering all over lances neck in public theyre gross about it

George: I loooove George as an alpha who really dislikes the loss of control aspect of alphadom. As the wise sadie one said, george thinks being an alpha is terribly gauche. at the same time has his own cockiness about the fact he IS an alpha like he has his moments there......using his alpha privilege when it suits him but hating it when its not something he can use to his advantage or that might make him act a fool

Lewis: Beta who lets people believe he's an Alpha whos just so mentally in the zone and turbo vegan that he is able to remain in complete control of his urges and emotions. Gets testy when questioned about it its NONE of their business. Definitely does in fact really really want to be an alpha. (nico an omega btw just add this to my brocedes narrative)

Yuki: Alpha and proud of it. He's like writing alpha specific instagram captions.

Daniel: This man is THE beta ok. used to be self deprecating about it but now just embraces it. hes the beta they brought into the enclosure to keep max from becoming insane.

Max: an omega but like. weirdly ravenous one. he is breaking down omega stereotypes but like he's not even trying he's just a weirdo.

Checo: also an omega but hes like a tragically lame one when in heat. like this man is the king of the pathetic heat he wants to be led around by the hand and makes everyone around him feel bad for him. smells like orchids and carnations.

Valtteri: beta who is literally just chilling

Guanyu: reverse lewis, alpha who everyone thinks is a beta and he just lets them, doesn't want people prying into that part of his life. does not have a complex about being an alpha though and being around val keeps him w a cool head yk

Alex: Alpha.......knows he's a good one too like too aware that he'll get the job done and WELL definitely more than a little cocky about it and thinks he generally like. deals with himself well doesn't THINK he lets it get to his head as much as it does. HUGE flirt w like any omega.

Logan: Omega like what do you want me to say he spends every moment wiggling and whimpering and blushing like......hes an omega. he smells like he smells like fresh cut citrus and seawater 🫶😔

Lando: he's an omega but he smells offputting he smells like burnt sugar and monster energy. was like convinced mind body and soul he and carlos were a THING until the chussy lured carlos away and now lando is stuck being a little weird about it for all time he cant quite click w someone else and hes a weird mean little tease because of it

Oscar: Alpha who is soooooooooo incredibly chill about it. You wanna hop on my dick? ah. ok i guess. have at it. like this guy is not pressed about any of this shit

KMag: alpha but i have no strong opinion here i just think hes normal

Nico: alpha who smells terrible to every omega ever and can never find a rut partner and yearns for the hole but he just cant win

bonus seb cause i can: seb is an alpha..obvs w charles duh but ALSO was a freakish little alpha in his younger days who got off on being gross and contradictory + wonderful truly paired with beta mark with his absolutely massive complex about being a beta and snaps at anyone who tries to bring it up in regards to his behavior etc etc etc hotheaded beta and evil twink alpha who goads him about oh fuck me all you want youll never be MEEEEE oh i need it actually. anyways

THANKS FOR READING 🫶

[frenchcurious]

Piercarlo Ghinzani, Markku Alén & Gianfranco Brancatelli (Lancia Corse - Lancia Beta Montecarlo Turbo #1005) 24 Heures du Mans 1980. - source Carros e Pilotos.

[olderthannetfic]

Holy shit, the "turbo virgin death threat" post has me in stitches - what a wild ride!

It's such an emotional rollercoaster to see the reblog chain and look through the notes, from the person who doesn't understand what a non-profit organisation is to the person who doesn't understand what "in beta" means to the person who doesn't understand how to look up AO3's goals and to see how transparent it is to the people not understanding that it's a "thanks for the shitload of money" donation gift instead of a bag that's purchased for 350 bucks at a shop to the people not understanding that writing about horrific topics and being able to process their trauma via writing fanfic and putting it out for other people who can relate to being victims of that specific trauma can potentially help people stay alive a little longer is a good thing and that queer people living in places where their existence is illegal having the possibility to still engage with their identity in a hopefully safe environment by reading gay fanfic on AO3 and queer people who were taught that being gay is not okay learning through AO3 and through friendships forged via fannish activity that being gay is actually okay is also a good thing.

And every once in a while, there's a reblog from you where you talk about what fun thing you're going to do next with the cool bag, which just made me giggle every time because it was such a refreshing thing to read in-between all the refusal to think things through before writing silly and horrible unfounded hate about AO3 and its donations and its donors lmao XD

--

*cackling*

One look at that post and my inner gremlin needed this bag.

[vctrvn-ls]

|On a Plane•|Beta Squad|

✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️

not 3am thoughts but plane thoughts (pretty appropriate)

✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️

Chunkz

Let’s start this off simple. He’d sleep. He would literally just close his eyes at takeoff and only wake up when they’re bringing the food around. But at some point he’d want to watch a movie with you, so you’d share a pair of headphones and get cozy next to each other. He’d get out the blanket that the plane offers and put it over you and him, lift the armrest up and let you lay your head down on his soft shoulder. You’d definitely watch a cartoon, maybe something like Turbo (movie about the racing snail) but it wouldn’t be long until you dozed off in your comfortable position, arms wrapped around one of his. He’d soon join you, after taking a couple of crazy selfies with your hilarious sleeping face, he’d carefully lay his cheek on the top of your head and also fall asleep, only waking up for the landing.

AJ

Ayooo this fvcking guy. Firstly, he’d definitely be vlogging and he’d want some action on this flight, so he’d force you to play different games with him. For example a game of cards and whoever wins pays for the others meal. Aj wouldn’t let you sleep, he didn’t get on this flight to sleep (like Chunkz), of course he’d let you sleep, but with him by your side you wouldn’t even want to. Would you get complaints? Uuuh maybe? But you’d be respectful…as much as you could. After being two crazy people you’d listen to some music together while playing the shitty games on the plane monitors, laughing at the candy crush rip offs.

Kenny

Every time I start writing one of these “thoughts” I always call Kenny baby. Cause he is (please I’m crying), he’d be so so sweet. He’d make sure you weren’t sitting in front of an annoying kid who kicks your seat, or a man who keeps pushing your chair up with his knees cause there’s no space (Niko??). He’d put you first on any type of trip. He’d give you his blanket, let you sleep on him, give you his dessert when it’s meal time. And you’d appreciate every little thing, and after convincing him that he could lay down on your shoulder and sleep (cause we know our bbg needs his rest) he’d slowly start falling asleep. Being the good gf you are you’d pull a blanket over him and place a small, but affectionate kiss on the top of his head, before smiling to yourself and continuing to watch the movie that you were watching.

Sharky

Like Kenny Sharky would give you everything you need and more. He’d definitely bring two head-pillow-things, one for you and for himself. He knows how hard it is to fall asleep sometimes so he’d also get matching blindfolds to go. When you get on the plane you’re both excited. Sharky let you have the window seat on the condition that you’d take the best photos for insta stories. Flying with Sharky would generally be chill. You’d double connect your AirPods to his phone and listen to his Frank Ocean playlist and you’d end up napping on the window while Sharky draws little circles on your knee. (I need Sharky next to me rn and not this guy who keeps crashing into me w his head when he falls asleep)

Niko

Girrrlll, listen, I feel like Niko’s the type of person who’d be worried that their ears won’t unblock during the flight. Like he wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable for the next several hours of the flight, so he’d stress about it on take off. You’d obviously know about this and be there to help him (or also worry with him, I would cause my ears are pain in my life) so you’d chew packs and packs of gum until you were at a stable height. Once you stopped worrying about that…Niko would probably fall asleep. With his mouth open. On you. Look as much as you’d want a romantic trip, you won’t get it, not on a plane. Niko is our little cutie patootie and we need to let him sleep, because as soon as the two of you land wherever, he’ll be taking care of you like you’re the most precious thing in the world (which to him you are) so it’s only fair for you to get comfy in your seat, lay Niko onto you and sleep yourself (or watch a movie)

[simplegenius042]

Music Monday & Understand My Family in 5 Minutes Template

Tagged (ages ago, according to my drafts) by @imogenkol for the Understand My Family in 5 minutes Template.

Tagging @inafieldofdaisies @voidika @cloudofbutterflies92 @josephseedismyfather @direwombat @noodlecupcakes @socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @raresvtm @derelictheretic @cassietrn @aceghosts @davrinsgriffons @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @florbelles @minilev @justasmolbard @softtidesworld @yokobai and @seedsplease + anyone else who want to join.

Music Monday for The UnTitledverse and Life, Despair & Monsters series and a Understand My Family in 5 Minutes Template for The Silver Chronicles. You can listen, read and find the blank template below the cut:

In my More Than Bargained For? WIP, the main premise isn't just about freeing the souls of the dead children with their happiest day, nor is it just about the reunion between Mario and Charlie, and neither is it just about Lena having fun with her animatronic buddies. Ultimately the main premise surrounds itself around bringing down Fazbear Entertainment, and ending the tragic madness of both William Afton and Henry Emily's feud and legacies. Like there's two-and-three-quarters of arcs to this WIP; first arc is gathering all the animatronics together in one place which, unbeknownst to Lena and her mentor Mike, is under Paragraph 4, though Lena's friendship with the children gives some of them the peace to move on from their animatronic pals. Fair warning, there's also parts in-between some chapters of this arc where she has really weird dreams. The mini arcs come during a timeskip after Lena's fired from Fazbear Entertainment after the fiasco that is being framed by Ennard for the murders of the technicians (Mike's unfortunately been scooped by Ennard); she comes to help Mike put to rest the remaining dangerous animatronics, although is there to save a few that she doesn't believe deserve to be destroyed or were mistakenly caught because they seem to fit the qualities of Paragraph 4 but truly don't. These mini arcs also involve going on a rescue mission down in Hell too (but there ain't enough time to unpack that right now). After those we get to the "Bringing down Fazbear Entertainment permanently" and "more efficient damage control over the remaining legacies of both Afton and Emily". This leads her to espionage the VR games, the Special delivery services, and lastly the Megaplex. In this particular arc, she... discovers familiar faces and remnants of old friends...

"Well, hello again! Here we go again! Start the show again! You thought it was over, but you know that it will never end It's awful lonely in the code that we've been living in But now you're home, we want to hold you 'til the bitter end So, we got a few bugs, we got a few glitches You know the best hugs always leave a few stitches Pull a few plugs, gotta flip a few switches Built to give love, we just need a few fixes Our arms are open nice and wide, why don't you try us on for size? We'd hate to spoil the surprise Go check the corner for your prize Our favorite game that we've devised is hunt you down each time you hide And now we're right before your eyes We promise not to crawl inside ("We promise not to crawl inside")

You've been away for, oh-so long No games to play when you were gone But now you're here where you belong And we are back together We're going right back to the start When you left, it broke our hearts But if it's you who's torn apart We'll put you back together We'll put you back together."

"Grave is melting away to entropy Beta Tester, please save the rest of me Tapes sequested away are meant to be played Or else they enslave what's left of me In the lines of the binary Recombined as my lifeline's syphoning From the mind I am mining for hiding in Don't be frightened, comply and invite me in."

"Uh, hello, hello? Now you've gotta fix the vents below Simulations are safe, y'know Although, maybe don't trust a telephone."

"Oh, my! What a muddle! It only was a cuddle Now you're long gone, crushed into a puddle Hey, Bon-Bon! Better get a shovel! Really want some love, but I'd snuff you with a snuggle."

"Yar-har-har! We're in VR! You can try to run, but you won't get far You'll begin to wonder why you ever pressed "Start" What you get for plundering a bunch of dead parts, he-he!"

"You may wonder how we stand this hell But I promise you'll adjust to the acrid smell Beta Tester? Or plate of tasters? An attack should include a few snacks as well, ha!"

"Mind if I hop on for a solo Don't you worry, I'm not coming for you during a show tune! Hurry up, you've got a party to go to! You know you're gonna be the star of the show soon!" ("You're gonna be the star of the show soon. Yeah!")

"So long you have been away Oh, won't you promise to stay? Make it our happiest day Now we are back together We're going right back to the start When you left, it broke our hearts But if it's you who's torn apart We'll put you back together We'll put you back together!"

"...My first appearance in Pizzeria Simulator and then again in Ultimate Custom Night And I was hoping for some sort of token appearance in the VR title Now, that didn't happen, sadly And I remember saying to my good friend Orville I said, 'Orville, this is going to be an issue if I want a continued presence within the franchise'. So we went out to get some..."

"Come on, kids! Don't be scared of me! Just a funny bunny! Remember Jeremy? Did you think I wouldn't leave a legacy? Take death? Escape my destiny? Corroding the code of your own autonomy Laugh at the traps you've employed to conquer me Nice headset you've spoiled to come for me All that blood might void the warranty!"

"Another long night And another hall roamed Another song chimes Sends another one home You know it's all lies It's a wonderful show There's nothing inside We're just lovable drones."

"Quite a chain of events you're tangled in In the vents, don't let the Mangle in Back in action, have you been practicing? Just one more toy you've trapped us in."

"So tired, we just wanna sleep But you're determined to keep Finding ways to bring us back from the grave We've been burned, we've been beaten Torn apart, we've been eaten In a loop, here's the scoop You won't ever be saved ("No, you won't ever be saved.")

"We lost our lives to an arcade But now it's us who's being played So step inside, don't be afraid And put us back together We're going right back to the start When you left, it broke our hearts But if it's you who's torn apart We'll put you back together!"

"We'll put you back together!" "We'll put you back together!" "We'll put you back together!" "We'll put you back together!"

More on More Than Bargained For?, Lena's vendetta against Fazbear Entertainment stems from their inherent inability to take responsibility for the disappearances (and deaths) of the missing children (and doing the bare minimum to stop it again), plus their own corruption and greed in covering up their own hand in the tragedies for the sake of milking their brand dry, and their lack of punishment for the injustices for the many employees who died under their watch. Fazbear Entertainment is the greater-scope antagonist of this WIP, with William Afton & the Mimic being the main threats towards Lena and her friends. Lena, after surviving many death traps and being framed for two co-workers' murders and having to say goodbye to her ghostly pals (either voluntarily or involuntarily), has had it with Fazbear Entertainment's ability to weasel back to life time and time again just to repeat the same mistakes and choices of cutting corners and being shit employers. In this arc, Lena goes into espionage with some help to take down the company from the inside-out. However, her troubles come when Glitchtrap catches wind of this, and once being aware that Lena wants to take down his only source of flesh puppets, he decides to take action by taking advantage of Fazbear Entertainment's new "Special Delivery Service" to send Lena (and her girlfriend Cassandra) a very lovely animatronic home invasion.

"There was a place many years ago Where the children would come for a meal and a show Oh, the horror, in the corner The quartet of terror returns

There's Freddy, and Foxy, and Bonnie, and Chica The band's back together and playing the deep cuts And when the curtain comes to close They'll find you

There is a bear who bears no introduction And a chick who's thick from reconstruction There is a bun who's gunning for the air shaft And a fox who gawks behind an eye-patch

Unserviced servo turning Refurbished fur perturbing It doesn't matter where you go They'll find you

Find the mascots Check your blind spots Put the mask on Turn the lights off

Wind the toy box Check the game clock Shun the dark thoughts It's a long shot

They'll find you They'll find you We will find you Terrorize you And ensnare you In a bear suit."

In Life, Despair & Monsters, there is an Unnamed Poppy Playtime WIP, where there is Playtime Co.'s warehouse from the game, but also an abandoned sister location known as "Rosemary's Trinkets & Collectibles" that was shut down years prior before Playtime Co.'s own closure. In this WIP, the protagonists find that both locations are connected to each other, and find the co-founder of this location and the founder of the sister location, Frederick Rosemary, may not be as dead as originally thought, and has been trying to bust into Playtime Co.'s warehouse to get himself their unique toys for his sick pleasures and devices. Plus to help out his good friend Sir Enigma Malvolio too, doing the dirty work of experiments that Malvolio himself can't be inclined to do himself.

"We are machine, but in-between We are conscious, full of life Don't think twice, we play it right Built for laughs and grins The show takes its toll on our soul Itching for some way to free Every plea, the lights flee All together, we're complete

Come together now We've got the night all to ourselves Let's show them what we allow Unified, we arrive We know just what to do To prove to them that we're alive

Hide from us, you can't trust The noises coming from the halls You peer in, we break in We can't say if you'll live or die Just come out, leave all doubt For we are real and awake End daytime, it's playtime We are the ultimate fright

We are the ultimate fright

Left underground, quiet sound Heard from every corner We seem to be nice, but she Draws the dark to cave in With her grin, watch her spin Every second counts, for we More than three, always see Altogether we're complete

Come together now We've got the night all to ourselves Let's show them what we allow Unified, we arrive We know just what to do To prove to them that we're alive

Hide from us, you can't trust The noises coming from the halls You peer in, we break in We can't say if you'll live or die Just come out, leave all doubt For we are real and awake End daytime, it's playtime We are the ultimate fright

We are the ultimate fright!"

And lastly here's my "Understand My Family in 5 Minutes" for Silva and Faith, plus Azriel and Mercy, during Old Dusk (New Dawn arc):

And here's a blank template (with links) to both read above and use below:

Template by @/marissources (ImageFlip made their credits a bit too small).

Here's the download link to download it if you can do what I clearly can't.

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

Guess what? It’s Vanellope’s turn

So, one of the chief complaints that gets tossed around about RBTI is how Vanellope “went Turbo” by abandoning Sugar Rush for Slaughter Race. And while I get some of the criticism, I have to push back on some points.

Folks say that gamers will notice Vanellope’s absence & get the game unplugged for good. First, she’s been missing for at least a decade and no one noticed. Second, her outfit & kart don’t match ANY of her pictures on the game console and no one cared. Third, KING CANDY’S gone and his death didn’t lead to the game being unplugged. That’s the power of the Random Racer Roster - no one notices if an old character disappears or if a new character is added. They think it’s just chance.

Turbo forced himself into Roadblasters & Sugar Rush, completely hijacking the latter’s programming to make himself the guy in charge. Vanellope was INVITED to stay in Slaughter Race.

While the movie clearly meant to make it a stupid joke about “Oh, those Disney princesses, always wanting Something More,” we can’t forget that Vanellope was abused, ostracized, and mistreated during her Glitch decade. If Wreck-it Ralph was a standalone movie, it’d be ok if she took charge in the end but became a benevolent ruler so no one would experience the pain she had to suffer because the movie was 90 minutes long & folks needed to get home for work the next day. But with a sequel, it’s not out of the question for Vanellope to need some time & space away from Sugar Rush to figure things out. MAYBE she’ll come back someday, MAYBE she’ll stay in Slaughter Race forever, but she deserves a break.

So, no, I don’t have a problem with Vanellope wanting to expand her horizons and try some new things.

IN THEORY.

In RBTI, however, the execution was incredibly flawed. The press leading up to this movie said the story was meant to be akin to friends going their separate ways for school, one friend being ready to move on while the other stayed behind. But the film made it feel like Vanellope was trading up, not moving forward. The whole thing went out of its way to make Ralph the worst possible choice for Vanellope, replacing him in her life with Shank.

And I’m not hating on Shank. She was clearly made to capitalize on Gal Gadot while Gal Gadot was a marketable star, and the character doesn’t do anything to try to one-up Ralph in the Surrogate Parent department. It’s all the narrative’s doing.

Oh, Vanellope said “Cool” to Ralph living in the garbage once and Ralph kind of trauma-dumped about how living in the garbage sucks ass? Well, Shank & her friends live in a super-cool dystopian dumpster fire & they think it’s AWESOME!

What’s that? Ralph & Vanellope spent a long time baking her first kart, which didn’t look anything like the perfect sample kart but Vanellope loved anyway because it was HERS & her love for her imperfect kart gave Ralph a sense of pride for doing something right for the first time in his life as well as recognition that perfection is overrated? Then the two bonded more as Ralph helped Vanellope learn how to drive & unlocked her dormant driving skills? Well, Shank just GAVE Vanellope her own race car during an Alan Menken musical number & they flew through the sky, so same thing really.

And again, Ralph’s character was COMPLETELY ASSASSINATED to make him look worse compared to Shank! They went back to his stupid beta version from the deleted scenes that was super whiny, kind of gross, and impressively stupid so Shank would look smarter, sleeker, and more put-together. They made him throw a temper tantrum outside of eBay when he didn’t understand the rules of bidding & blubber like a baby when he got caught trying to steal Shank’s car so Shank would be the more emotionally stable one. HE PURPOSEFULLY CRASHED SLAUGHTER RACE & ALMOST KILLED VANELLOPE so no one would want to see her stick with his clingy, insecure ass.

And this “Vanellope traded up” vibe continues in other media. Like the “Sugar Rush Racers” books I mentioned before. Vanellope spends MAYBE five off-page minutes with Ralph before he takes a nap & the other Sugar Rush Racers ask Vanellope if they can join her in Slaughter Race for a bit. Then during the story, Vanellope’s always referencing either the Disney Princesses (which she apparently does a LOT according to the other Racers’ reactions) or her new life with the Slaughter Race characters. There’s ONE mention of that time Ralph was WILLING TO DIE TO SAVE HER LIFE, but that’s it. No mention of making her kart together, no talk of their heart-to-heart in Diet Cola Mountain, no acknowledgement of the training montage or the time he trashed her kart because he thought he was saving her life, then his going back later to apologize & really help her get her life back by winning the race. Nothing. Almost like their adventures together meant nothing. And there’s no mention of OTHER adventures they might’ve shared between movies, despite the Sugar Rush Racers casually mentioning the time King Candy banished two of the recolor racers (which opens a WHOLE can of worms about why he didn’t just do that with Vanellope, or kill her outside Sugar Rush before trying to delete her code & reprogram himself into the game, but whatever). And at the end of the second book, when the Racers are told they can go back to the arcade, Vanellope says she wants to spend “a hot minute” with Ralph before going back to Shank & her crew in Slaughter Race. Implying they’re her REAL family.

WHAT

THE

ACTUAL

FUCKITY

FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I truly believe if the authors of the books COULD have left even the mention of Ralph out, they would’ve. He has been thoroughly Scrappy Doo’d by Disney, and it fucking HURTS!!!! HE’S THE REASON VANELLOPE EXISTS!!!!!!! AND THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!

And still, I need to know why? Why does Disney hate him? Why does Disney want US to hate him? WHY are they trying to bury him?!!!?! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED DURING PRODUCTION OF THIS STUPID CURSED SEQUEL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[a110crazy13]

Monza - Photo Oreste Morzenti