#bet you didn't expect it to be THAT crossover song

[arkarti]

And then there's cupcake...

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IWTV S2 Ep6 Musings: Random (Spoilers)

This

RJ wants Dan's body to get close to the vamps. He's still in the order, but already plotting a coup. But I reckon he's lying; he's not even tryna ask them any questions, he just wants to get in their presence so he can do the switch. The question remains: WHICH vamp does RJ want? (Naturally, he's arrogant enough to want Armand, an ancient, but my money's on him picking Louis as the safer bet; the weaker target who might not put up as much of a fight)

I'd love to see this alleged list, but this old heifer's LYING, I can feel it in my bones. This is a GREAT concept if it's legit--the Talamasca using Daniel as a mole to learn more about vamps, and even collaborate, since the vamps are telling it all anyway--their subterfuge almost doesn't make any sense; just walk right up to them and be like hey, if you want to talk we're listening.

Ok so Rashid & Raglan are in the same frame, so my theory about Rashid being Raglan's a bust. He could still be a Talamasca mole though; it's mighty sus how he doesn't bat an eyelash at Raglan chatting Daniel up. Then Rashid LIED to Armand about Dan!

And LAZY AF Armand doesn't even scan their brains to verify!? OMFG! 🤦 You DESERVE every mutiny that happens under your roof, Armand, this is ridiculous. Why bother being a vampire if you won't even USE the powers you have? Don't be like effing LOUIS.

(Gives me life every time.) Unfortunately, however, Santiago's nowhere near as dumb as they think--

--Santiago gave the coven Claudia's diaries oml they're all reading them right in front of Claudia & Armand, the SAVAGERY--

--not Sam too, omg, ain't a single vamp on Armand's side, yikes--

--and Louis should know better, since Lestat & Antoinette got the jump on him & Claudia before! Yes, Claudia had an extra plan, but THESE AIN'T FAMILY VAMPS; these vampires are VICIOUS! If Armand's lazy, Louis & Claudia are NAIVE AF! DANG.

The coven is SKATING around Armand, this is sad. Santiago's playing 5D chess. (And Celeste & Estelle are maker-fledgling~! I see!).

Wow, the IWTV-WWDITS crossover I didn't expect, "Let's Go Sunning" was also used in the end credits song in S01E06 when The Baron was BURNED ALIVE IN THE SUN I HATE Y'ALL SO MUCH!

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

The Witcher S3 EP 2: Unbound AKA Roll Call, Everyone's Here

I'll be honest, a good percentage of this just Bard Lust. And getting excited and/or concerned when characters first appear

Little do you know, she is trying to keep the royal peace...

But you and I agree on one thing, Madam Barkeep 👀

Hm. Ciri, has that been happening a lot?

"My Ugly One?" Is that...a term of endearment because I have Thoughts, Concerns, and Emotions if it is...

Shopping for what, Yen?

He's not wrong about the monsters

Is that...? It is! I now have a canonical crossover point! Codringher = Edwin the Magnificant. And they're both even a mysterious stranger type that our Adventuring Hero and his bestie go to for advice/assistance/information/etc.

Hello, who are you? Oh. Nevermind. It's Emperor CreepyDad

Damn Fringilla...you're in a sorry state

Oh wait, we've met them before. They were helping...someone last season. Why didn't I recognize him?

Aww, look at Jaskier looking so smug and proud. Not unlike a cat himself

I don't trust those noises outside...

Geralt "Oh I've got plenty of contempt, old man"

Aww look, they're growing. And sharing their feelings. But also, Jask, baby...💔

Ragamuffin gets used for a lot of magic-y things (ok, it was 2, but that's still a lot when there's So Many Words out there, even if we stick to English)

Ooh, I don't know who this woman is but I like her

I respect it Ciri but your impulses are going to get people killed. Rein it in girl

Triss? Teaching at Aretuza? Why does that feel...wrong?

Stregobitch. Glad you went off the rails there at the last minute because I was almost starting to think you were being sensible and it made me itchy.

Go Tissaia, putting Bitch in his place!

Blood on a wall is never good...

What...is happening and why do I feel like it might be a sex thing?

Ok so it's not a sex thing? Spies are weird

Sure Dijkstra, to "Redania." We can pretend this is a for king and country thing if it helps you sleep at night, but there are definitely personal ambitions at hand

This. Is. A. Look. and a Power. Stance. God I'm in love with him (also I'm really here for the varied florals. And the shapes that the fit creates. The costumer in me is thrilled)

"I don't do pretty." What a lie. An absolute lie. I have never heard a bigger lie

My guy, Princeling, whatever. Can we focus? I mean I too love when the bard is bard-ing, but this is important

Ooh, nice castle. Definitely a trap

Where's your other sword Geralt? Don't tell me you expected a trap and still left it on the horse...

Ouch. What a Mom answer, straight to the gut

Oh honey. Yennefer knows that fight better than most

Oh hey Cahir! It's been a while. What's up? Hallucinating Ciri? Neat

Ooh. Fringilla has an Idea (I bet I know what it is)

I already adore this song immediately (and the extended version on spotify is *chefs kiss*). Also 🥺

God, Jaskier proving he can play The Game is so sexy. Send help

If you break my Jaskier's heart, I will end you Princeling.

Oh good, you do have the other sword. I feel better now

Gross. What the fuck.

Oh, he's just kidnapping every girl that looks vaguely Ciri-esque. And apparently making them into nightmare fuel when they're not her

Elven? Who...?

Oh look live action Orsino-Harvester! Not something I wanted, but cool

Oh Jesus. They're still connected. This just keeps getting worse

That looked like it hurt, but it's a small price to pay for freedom probably. Now what Frin?

God Vizimir is obnoxious. And that was an...interesting look from his lady wife. The true power behind the throne perhaps? Or plotting a coup?

Well shit. Firefucker's going to kill these two, isn't he? Don't you dare hurt the kitty!! (I guess at least he listened to that...)

I don't trust you or your gift Vilgefortz. But at the same time, goddamn I like you, you smooth, pretty motherfucker

It's Yennefer. Of course she's bringing trouble. And, as noted, she is trouble

That's a lot to blame yourself for, Yen...

So you abandoned the search to save the girl? And she's...crazy? manipulated? the trap? I'm confused

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #31 | Driller (James, 1984)

In 1983, Michael Jackson's Thriller dominated the charts and the John Landis directed music video for "Thriller" dominated the airwaves. Without trying to dissect its enormous cultural impact, I will sum it up thusly: if there's a music video everyone has seen, this is it. In 1984, in an attempt to craft a midnight movie crossover, Joyce James, Timothy Buckley and Roger Watkins came together to make Driller, a pornographic parody of MJ's video. Needless to say, this didn't make quite the same cultural impact, but is worth checking out as an amusing oddity. The movie starts with Taija Rae and her boyfriend (who resembles the lovechild of Allen Sherman and Rick Moranis) attending a concert for the Hot Star, a Jackson-inspired pop musician who performs a ripoff of "Billie Jean" wherein he informs us that he is the (or actually our) Hot Star (the song is called "I'm Your Hot Star"). Now, we can see that the concert seemingly takes place in a small auditorium and the set design resembles a high school talent show, but still the crowd goes wild, with a few rowdy audience members taking off their tops and needing to be put in check by a portly security guy. (Apparently the audience was mostly played by critics from adult magazines.)

Now, me attempting to fully navigate the topic would be highly ill-advised given my knack for being indelicate, but I will only say that making a porn persona based on Michael Jackson is extremely ill-advised, and probably would have been so even in the '80s. The movie acknowledges this unfortunately through homophobic speculation on the part of the male audience members. Rae steps up to defend him to her boyfriend, who responds "I bet you'd like it if I turn into a werewolf or something. A wild beast could teach you a thing or two." After a bout of extremely unappealing looking sex during which Rae voices her annoyance repeatedly, Rae goes to her bedroom and falls asleep to a late night horror program which she fearfully watches through her fingers. ("There's something evil the air tonight, I can feel it my bones." "That's only your arthritis acting up.") Her slumber is interrupted by who else other than the Hot Star, this time in ghoulish makeup and accompanied by a couple of ghoulish looking ladies, and in the movie's raison d'etre, they perform a "Thriller" parody, complete with a mock Thriller dance. As far as ripoffs go, this is pretty catchy ("It's got a good beat and you can dance to it", to take a line from Lawrence Welk), even if it lacks the immaculate songcraft of its inspiration and the singer (a woman dubs the Hot Star) can't hit the high notes like MJ. (The song is called "Driller in the Night", completely different than "Thriller", please don't sue.) Paying respect to the genre, it concludes with the Hot Star rubbing up against Taija Rae, transforming into a werewolf, and demonstrating what exactly the "Driller" of the title refers to. (Spoiler alert: it's his dick, and the title is more literal than I expected. I understand it was operated mechanically by a few production assistants. If one is truly interested, there is a clip of the sequence on Youtube, but be warned that it gets extremely NSFW right at the end.) Rae reacts: "I'm gonna get rabies!"

Alas, this all makes up only the first third of the movie, and then Rae is whisked off to a castle (animated inserts are used for exteriors in an endearingly lo-fi touch), wherein she wanders around a few horror-inspired sets and expresses a lot of trepidation about all the fucking and sucking she witnesses, which include a lesbian scene with illuminated dildos, a woman being encouraged to masturbate by a Quasimodo-like hunchback with the voice of Peter Lorre, a threesome where the men chant some Latin-sounding mumbo jumbo, and an orgy involving a couple with ghoulish makeup on their faces (but not their bodies) and guys in Nixon and Reagan masks. None of this is remotely hot (Lorre and Nixon impressions are pretty much guaranteed boner-killers), but there is a baseline of entertainment value in seeing these cheapo horror sets, usually with some fog machines doing overtime. In between the sex is a fair bit more Thriller dancing, this time set to a song called "Zombie Night". This is easily the worst of the songs in the movie, as it's not even clear what it's supposed to be parodying, in addition to being mind-numbingly repetitive. (Eventually I realized it was supposed to rip off "Wanna Be Startin' Something", but even more so than "Driller in the Night", this is like a child's crayon sketch of the real thing.) Rae looks fearfully at the two male dancers in speedos.

It's worth noting that Nixon goes all in with the portrayal ("They don't call me Tricky Dick for nothing!") and riffs with Reagan ("looks like Bedtime for Schlongo over here"), and folks, I laughed. Astute viewers will also recognize George Payne, but alas his role does not call him to exercise his genuinely impressive acting talents. (That being said, given the lightheared tone, it's probably for the best that he doesn't go full Taming of Rebecca in this.) I must also note that Rae gets accosted a few times by some ghouls, who each tear off pieces of her clothing. However, given that she still seems to be mostly covered after each encounter (until the climax when she's dragged into the action), it seems that either she was wearing more layers than I realized or they failed to maintain proper continuity in this respect. (Roger Watkins was supposed to be acting as production manager but disappeared partway through filming, and director Joyce James describes the shoot as difficult in a user review on the movie's IMDb page. It's hilarious to think Watkins was involved in this, given how caustic his own movies are. I suppose The Pink Ladies is fun, but he apparently thought poorly of it.)

As a parody, this isn't especially sharp, and mostly abandons the premise a third of the way in, but the mix of horror aesthetics, music and goofy tone it pulls from its inspiration make this a reasonably good time. This is less ambitious than the work of Gregory Dark in imbuing an MTV influence into pornography, but will likely be more palatable to most viewers given that the humour here isn't quite as offensive (aside from the unfortunate homophobic jabs). Obviously compared to the actual video or a Hollywood movie, the production values come up short, but for a porno, it doesn't look that bad, or at least does so with some charm. (Apparently the movie was done in partnership with a studio that specialized in BDSM movies, which allowed the use of stage and dungeon sets at a lower cost.) I do think the movie suffers from sex scenes, which go on far too long and never really tie the horror mise-en-scene to a sense of eroticism. (You can compare this to Nightdreams and see how that movie uses horror imagery to convey the urgency of the heroine's experience. Also, I, ahem, found that movie much hotter.) Like its inspiration, it's not effective as horror, but for certain viewers any excuse is good enough to hang around in horror movie sets engulfed in fog. And it helps that the narrative centre of the movie is carried by Taija Rae, who may not be a great actress, but has a wide-eyed innocence and extremely dorky demeanour that suits the lighthearted tone. Would I have preferred that her character prove more proactive during the proceedings or at least interact more closely with the other cast members? Sure (and I admit that some of my interest, ahem, might be prurient), but if we must be subject to werewolves, ghouls and the like getting into spooky (and sexy) shenanigans, she makes a pretty appealing guide.