#bestie I'm a black queer you think this is the first time I've been called a slur? bye lmao

[nugatorysheep]

So you think people voicing their disgust at your degenerate coomer pedo shipping bullshit is censorship? Surely that means you support freedom of speech then? How about this: you're a nigger and a faggot.

Real cute! You should say this again off anon :)

Anyway Steven and his Gem are getting married this weekend and I'm the best man at the wedding <3

[shouldiusemyname]

Only Friends - The Voice of the 80's Babies

Long post

Inspired by this post by @chicademartinica and bestie @thegalwhorants's comment about the wardrobe. Also this post from @blmpff which really made me think I'm in the right direction...

Before I get into this I just wanna say that I'm posting this very hesitantly as it's a very personal view of this show (possibly within the Jojo-verse). I might be reading too much into this and projecting my own experience and the fact that Jojo is about my age, but OF feels very much a reaction of my generation. I realize that most of what I'm going to say will sound familiar and relevant to everyone (not just 80's babies) but I'll try to explain the difference between what I read as a general generational experience and a universal experience.

I said it before and after watching the first ep it has never been clearer that Only Friends is what happens when 80's babies are given a chance to settle scores.

Everything about this show screams I WAS A TEENAGER IN THE 90'S!

First of all - the clothes! EVERYTHING they're wearing is like it's taken from my high school photos �� I know fashion is fluid and trends will make a comeback periodically, but given what I feel they're trying to say, I believe it's intentional.

The Sex of it All

It's like a direct reaction to the way we were raised and the relationship my generation has with sex. This is very regional and cultural, but generally speaking sex was not discussed as a natural aspect of life and relationships. Sex was either shameful, dirty, reproductive, or (the worst option) over discussed without healthy boundaries. My parents' generation didn't have the tools to discuss sex with their children in a healthy way because they were also denied this conversation by their parents. So, they either hid it or overshared.

So, my generation was raised (by western media basically) believing that everyone must have sex and our social standing is directly linked to whether or not we were having sex (who said American Pie?). We weren't given the option to have different views. We were trapped by this extremely deformed view of sex and relationships.

Watching this show and the discussion around it feels like creators are calling bullshit on everything we were told about sex.

Stuck in the Middle

I'm going to generalise here, but basically people who are just slightly older than us (meaning my generation) have this very black and white attitude towards sex - there's the right time to start having sex, your partner matters (in the way that you should be in love or in a relationship), relationships are monogamous, and kink is a deviation (don't even get me started on queerness - you were either gay, straight, or a crossdresser).

On the other hand, 90's babies were born into a much wider and open world that gave them the opportunity to get a much broader picture and view about relationships and how sex plays into them. This is even as basic as just having a wider vocabulary to talk about it.

My generation was, however, stuck in the middle, left to really hindsight our way through our perception of sex and its place in relationships.

In my 20's I've witnessed so many conversations where people were analyzed over the fact that they choose not to have sex like there's something wrong with them. Why are you not having sex? What's wrong with you? You're waiting for love? - don't waste your time. You're just going to fuck whoever? - that's just wrong. There's no winning.

Furthermore, when considering what Jojo said about the discussion around queer sex in queer shows and bl - my generation was raised with the idea that being queer (which was then just being gay) was all about who you have sex with. No one ever said anything about love or gender. When I was figuring out my own sexuality, being queer was about who you wanted to sleep with, not who you loved. We still see this today when people believe that our queerness is defined by whether or not we are having queer sex, and I believe this is at least part of what @bengiyo is talking about when he talks about the internalised homophobia. This is so much of my generation carrying and passing it on because we were denied these conversations.

So Now What?

Now, creating a show that is about sex, queer sex, and how it plays into queer relationships is reclaiming the conversation about queerness as an expression of love as well as sexuality. We deserve to discuss these issues as a generation that was denied these conversations whether queer or not. And somehow, these issues are discussed more freely and openly within queerness as it has the advantage of being free of heteronormative notions.

Another reason I believe this is generational is the fact that Jojo is consistently having this discussion within his shows. I don't know how to explain it, but his shows feel like screaming liberation, like he's walking around with a baseball bat (preferably Only Friends branded) and smashing these false ideas one by one. Which is why I believe we need to look at this show as part of the Jojo-verse shows along with The Warp Effect, 3 will be free and Gay OK Bangkok. Jojo is on a mission.

Expression Within The Show

Ok, so what am I getting at after I had you read my trip to the shrink?

I believe that ALL OF THIS is expressed in the show through the group dynamics we see in our friend group. They all represent different notions and they will fight over dominance. This is the power struggle that my generation is trapped in. We need and deserve to say our peace.

This is what I meant when I said that OFTS is what happens when you're an 80's baby with shit to say.

As usual thank you for reading my ramblings. I hope you get what I'm trying to say, and clearly have issues 😅 so feel free to comment and give perspective...

[bookwyrminspiration]

hey! i saw a post on instagram about your page so i thought i would say something because i think i know who the person who sent some of those confessions is (about the white humor) and i know they would never do it to hurt anyone’s feelings, but their wording was just off. im guessing she’s surprised tumblr interpreted it the way but if im right that it’s her, id just give the confession the benefit of the doubt. i don’t think they meant to address racism in either fandom at all— instagram has racism and sadly tumblr probably does too (i think everyone’s seen the posts by now of @keeperofthelostgrimms, an account who was racist and got away with it). i was hoping telling you this would let some users see it and understand that they misunderstood that confession. they’re not innocent— she worded it wrong— but her intentions weren’t to hurt anyone’s feelings. one more thing i thought to mention is the appropriation of aave subject that got brought up. this person, i believe, is Black. so her experiences with that and what she’s told me before make her comments about that very personal. so it’s upsetting to see people sort of make fun of them trying to explain how “slay” and other words are being used wrong by people who aren’t Black. this is not a kotlc fandom issue but a world and social media issue by the way! but if you do some research about aave appropriation in gen z, you can find a lot of articles that explain why they meant that. the fact that a few tumblr users made fun of that statement was a little weird and probably why some users are scared to just outright say things like this in the fandom. thank you!

Hey, thanks for reaching out to share your perspective! To be entirely fair I'm also surprised that Tumblr interpreted it this way/steered things in this direction, so I trust you when you say this person's intention wasn't the hurt any feelings.

It was a little bit of a surprise that racism got brought up here for both sides, I think. It didn't seem to have anything to do with what we were originally discussing, and while racism in fandom spaces is a topic well worth addressing it was like a red herring and detracted from the original point.

Also, we on tumblr actually have not seen what's up with keeperofthelostgrimms, but yeah there are issues within every fandom space, not limited to one or the other.

I cannot respond for the entirety of tumblr, but I appreciate the clarity you've provided on the confessions! And through my blog a few other people will likely see this as well, so that may help.

As for the AAVE discussion, I cannot apologize for the actions of others but I am sorry that the response was mocking when it's an important discussion. I'm not certain, but I think perhaps part of it is that this is the first time I've heard "bestie" called AAVE. Not that I'm saying it isn't as I'd want to look into it (I want to listen to your friend but also don't want them to be my one and only source), but it was surprising. Same with slay as that's been really popular within queer spaces (I found a few sources saying it's from Black and Latine LGBTQ+ ballroom dancing), so that may be where some of the responses came from as a lot of us are queer. But again, I can't speak for everyone else, that was just my sort of thought process.

We don't mean to belittle or insult your friend or their experience and don't want to shut anyone down when it comes to those kinda of serious, meaningful topics. That I think I can claim for all of us

I don't want to say more and detract from what you wanted to share so I'll stop here, but again thank you for reaching out to talk about it! I appreciate how respectful you were in broaching the topics and hope you have a good rest of your day!

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

honestly , as someone who's bi and is surrounded with queer men all the time , taehyung seems so painfully straight (like as straight as hobi) and i don't see how taekookers don't see it , it's so so obvious ... he gives me artsy flirty dude who knows how hot he is yet acts like he doesn't vibes lol (i'd fall for him tbh) .. the only ones that give me queer vibes in bts are jimin (gay), jk(pan), rm (i'm convinced he has a longterm bf) and yoongi(bi but more into women). +

++ as for jk's behaviour towards tae , it honestly seems very platonic , like childhood besties who are getting closer again platonic : having an awkward phase and working it out , having a drink once in a while and talking about life , going out with friends together ,complimenting him ect ... i don't get why many jikookers are insecure about it ? shouldn't you be happy that jk's getting closer to one of his friends again ? i felt so sad for tkk in 2019 like at some points i literally thought+

they hated eachother. it was so painfully awkward between them and while some of the awkwardness is stil here ( it's mistaken as tension by shippers ),they finally seem like actual carefree friends again. isn't that smth to be celebrated ? for jikook,i don't get how anyone in the fandom that watches the content sees them as platonic, i have seen many platonic queer friends and they are far from that. you can literally see it just from how they talk to eachother, no need for big moments.

--

Yeah well sometimes people can't see something because someone is not telling the entire truth. Taehyung is an idol and there's tons of marketability in idols who don't seem interested in women, it's the reason they shouldnt' openly date and on top of that, kpop uses gay culture (they use black culture too) and idols consciously do "gay" things because somehow there's marketability in that too. So it's like not only male idols can't date women but they also should appear to be interested in the same sex.

I think Namjoon is straight too. I haven't seen anything from Jin, Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon that to me says they're interested in men. Jimin, Jungkook and Yoongi are the only ones I've always read as possibly lgbtq. And I'm not even that sure about Yoongi.

I never felt anything for taekook, like it's really impossible for me to say that I felt bad about them or that I'm happy they're okay because they have just never moved me in any way. I know what the reality is, and I know that they're great now I was actually one of the first people who's been saying that for months and months. Someone even called me delusional and told me to go back to my fantasy or something like that because I said they're totally comfortable with each other (I'm still waiting for the apology I deserve from that person). So I'm not happy or sad or insecure. It's just is. My feelings (or lack of, in this case) have never really blinded me to who they are. I am a bit annoyed maybe.

I think jikookers might be insecure because this taekook is something relatively new. And because as long as there's taekook, there's no jikook. It's honestly just the same thing I said about why taekookers feel threatened by jikook, but with taekook. Also many might not realize this but Jungkook is in the middle. So it's always gonna come down to "who does jungkook love more" "who does Jungkook look the happiest with". I don't really participate in those fights precisely because of that... in the end both sides are trying to prove something about Jungkook. And it's so stupid. It's useless. I don't need to be proving anything for anyone.

On the other hand, Jimin was the one who was always posting about him and Jungkook and a couple of years ago Jimin changed his social media activity and he stopped posting pictures of other members, since mid-late 2019 he just posts photos of himself except for birthdays. Which, good for him, I was honestly happy to see that because he got hate even for posting for people's bdays. I know tho that everyone is missing that. And now that it's Taehyung posting about Jungkook a lot of the time, then it's like it's worse, I mean it really accentuates the "lack" of jmjk online. I already saw a few jikookers saying how they hope Jimin will post a picture with Jungkook now and I'm like... what? And we're back to Jungkook being in the middle.

It's okay, I get it. I don't see their relationship as platonic either but I don't think anyone is obligated to see it as romantic either. It's okay for me if someone thinks jikook are just friends. I haven't always thought that they're dating, in fact I only started seeing them as romantic in 2019 and I had already been a fan for two years before that. Everybody has a different idea of what romantic love is and it's just... I really get it too if they see romantic love in taekook and not in jikook. Taekook have great moments too that if you ignore their relationship with other people and only focus on them, it's really easy to see romance there.

[goldenavenger02]

Susz's Halloween Recommendations Part 2: Books and Fics.

Books

Pet Sematary by Stephan King

Dr. Louis Creed and his wife, Rachel, moved to Ludlow, Maine with their two young kids, Ellie and Gage, and their cat, Church. In the woods, near their home is a pet cemetery with a sign that was spelled sematary.

Notes: this book made me scared of my own cats for about two weeks. I really enjoyed it but that scene with the cat was very excessive.

Sadie by Courtney Summers

The book chronicles teenager Sadie Hunter’s quest to find the man who killed her sister. In alternating chapters, Sadie’s subsequent disappearance becomes the topic of West McCray’s podcast The Girls.

Notes: this audio book is so fantastic, especially the podcast elements! Trigger warnings for Sexual Assault and Child Abuse.

The Project by Courtney Summers

But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire.

Lo Denham is used to being on her own. After her parents died, Lo's sister, Bea, joined The Unity Project, leaving Lo in the care of their great aunt. Thanks to its extensive charitable work and community outreach, The Unity Project has won the hearts and minds of most in the Upstate New York region, but Lo knows there's more to the group than meets the eye.

Notes: a book about a journalist trying to learn more about the cult who took her sister from her. If you have siblings, this one hurts even more than if you don't. This has a frick ton of triggers, so please look into that before picking this up.

These Witches Don't Burn by Isabel Sterling

Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly By Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. 

Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly By Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. 

But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire.

Notes: a queer witch book with plenty of action and magic throughout! This book is so important to me and I'm currently reading the second and final book!

The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King

Long retired, Sherlock Holmes quietly pursues his study of honeybee behavior on the Sussex Downs. He never imagines he would encounter anyone whose intellect matched his own, much less an audacious teenage girl with a penchant for detection.

Notes: one of my mom's favorites and this is one of the best mysteries I've ever read!

The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman

On the edge of town a beast haunts the woods, trapped in the Gray, its bonds loosening…

Notes: this author has been involved in some not great things involving being anti semetic (I hope I spelled that right), so if you still want to read this, please don't do it in a way that financially supports her. That being said, I read it before that stuff came out, and I liken it to a queer Teen Wolf season 3 type story.

The Cheerleaders by Kara Thomas

First there was the car accident—two girls gone after hitting a tree on a rainy night. Not long after, the murders happened. Those two girls were killed by the man next door. The police shot him, so no one will ever know why he did it. Monica’s sister was the last cheerleader to die. After her suicide, Sunnybrook High disbanded the cheer squad. No one wanted to be reminded of the girls they lost. ...

Notes: an amazing murder mystery and one that I highly recommend! A bit slow at times, but the fast scenes make up for it.

The Assassin Game by Kristy McKay

At Cate's isolated boarding school Killer is more than a game-it's an elite secret society. Members must avoid being "killed" during a series of thrilling pranks-and only the Game Master knows who the "killer" is. When Cate's finally invited to join The Guild of Assassins, she knows it's her ticket to finally feeling like she belongs.

Notes: this takes place on an small island near Wales and it's one of the most atmospheric books I've ever read! The first chapter is really nasty, but after that, it's so good!

Two Can Keep a Secret by Karen. M McMannis

Echo Ridge is small-town America. Ellery's never been there, but she's heard all about it. Her aunt went missing there at age seventeen. And only five years ago, a homecoming queen put the town on the map when she was killed. Now Ellery has to move there to live with a grandmother she barely knows.

Notes: this was like reading a CW show. That's all I can say about it.

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

Jared, Simon and Mallory, who finds a mysterious Field Guide hidden in the attic, written by their great-great-uncle Arthur Spiderwick, who studied Faeries — magical beings who hide themselves from Humans using a type of magic called glamour.

Notes: I can't say much about this because I barely remember it. But I remember it freaking the crap out of me.

Fics (all of these are MCU)

Pumpkins and Stitches and Monster Mash by @marvelous-writer

Notes: I told myself to pick one fic from one writer, but with Marvelous-Writer, I just couldn't do it. I'm not gonna give synopsis' for the fics, because you really just need to take my word for it and read them.

too sick for clowns by @hailing-stars

Notes: short and sweet. Hailing-Stars is an icon and everyone needs to follow her.

Vein Drain by @ciaconna on Ao3

Notes: absolutely fantastic and humorous.

Trick Or Treat (Or Traumatize) by @awesomesockes and @whumphoarder

Notes: I just freaking love this writing duo.

No doubts about it by @angels-creative

Notes: my queen, my bestie, and the fic she had to send me the link to cause I couldn't find it XD

And I think that's all for this year! Have a safe and happy Halloween everyone!

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi! I found this article that mentions bestie in it (since you were looking for some). https://medium.com/the-comeback-of-culture/tiktok-language-whats-up-with-the-misuse-of-aave-e1f19c6c75b3 Black people feel differently about some of these terms being used by non black people, but if anyone is curious about using them maybe look into the history about it first (like you’re doing)? Also, another thing is when people approach a black person and use these terms only with said black person. White or non black lgbtqia+ members also need to be careful with their treatment of some of these words. A final thing I can think of is when it’s almost unconscious mimicking of aave when using some of these terms. Non black people sometimes use them with what can be described as an “aggressive” tone, which is a negative stereotype for Black people. The usage of these words is usually seen as bad or uneducated when black people use them, so for white/nonblack people to use them and be praised for it is problematic! Be aware of how you use said terms. I hope this is helpful! ps slay comes from “slay queen” and it’s been used the wrong way by white people, so they’re typically made fun of for using “slay��� the wrong way. Maybe this is where some of the white humor thing came from! pps thank you for taking peoples thoughts here and trying to be peaceful with this whole thing!

Hello to you, too! Thank you for the article link (here for anyone who wants to look). If you don't want to look then I'll highlight what I think is the most relevant point regarding "bestie," as it's only mentioned in passing twice.

“I had to work hard not to sound ‘ghetto’ and now I can hear little White girls calling each other bestie and sis. It’s weird,” Bernard laments.

My conclusion from the few sources I've managed to find so far are that "bestie" is considered AAVE in at least some spaces and that it's usage is similar to that of other appropriated AAVE (e.g. periodt, on fleek), but that when it comes to talking about AAVE "bestie" is not what is typically brought up and it's unknown how widespread it is. Unlike phrases like the ones I mentioned that have a clearer history you can research, "bestie" is difficult (at least in my searches so far) to find any direct sources about.

If I've missed something, please feel free to let me know! This is just what I've gathered so far.

Of course people will have different opinions, so I did a little bit of researched and found these articles with some differing views that people can look at: this one doesn't take a definitive stance but reminds to be aware of the history of what you say, and this one is against AAVE use by non-blacks because it celebrates blackness only when the person isn't black and doesn't know black history. That's of course only two resources and won't be reflective of every single person, but I figured I'd add them.

Those sources also mention some of the negative stereotypes and how non-black people using AAVE can escape those perceptions, but it doesn't touch on the queer aspect really so thank you for specifically mentioning that. I brought it up the first time not to excuse away it's usage, but instead as a "perhaps this is what happened." But yes, being queer doesn't give us a pass to say whatever we want

As for slay, I can see how that would lead to the white humor comment! I found this article talking about it last night, but also it's not loading right now on any of my devices so I can't 100% confirm how relevant it is at the moment. Including the link just in case though! I'm also seeing a lot of other sources attribute it to different places, so that may be something to look more into

And thank you for being so peaceful and sharing your thoughts! I realized that when I was saying "hey how about you talk to us directly" that that could be a little vague if you didn't know where to go, so I wanted to offer my blog as a direct spot people could talk if they were so inclined. I think it's helpful to have that kind of communication!

Thank you for the article link and for the information and explanations you've provided, I greatly appreciate it!