#best steps for cloud based projects

[sunboki]

MRS. HARVARD

bad boy!Christopher Bahng x fem. reader

warnings . cursing, smoking(on chan’s end), sneaking out

word count . 0.5k

notes . hurt my pride using bad boy in the pairing but it really is the only description that fit best.. yikes

% — listening to Leave You Alone by Ella Mai

You’re working on a science project tonight, the one night you swore to Chan you’d be caught up with something and not be able to slip outside. Regardless, he got his way. Every time.

Starting with pebbles that smacked against your window — flipping him off where he could see through the screen as his first warning. Like you said, he got his way, and once the eighth pebble was thrown, you released a pitiful groan and pulled yourself up from your chair, sulking across the room begrudgingly.

“Get your cute ass out here, ‘thought you died or something.” You pry the dusty window open, using the rickety handrail to hop down the side of the house where you’d be hidden from view.

“And here I thought you dropped smoking.”

Flicking the lighter, using his hand to covet momentarily till a heavy puff of smoke clouded the foggy air.

“‘Needed some relief. Tonight was a night.”

He talks without addressing himself, greedily diving right into the conversation. You seemed to develop that habit from him.

This is the Chan each door in this neighborhood knows one way or another. Well, Christopher Bahng, the name you’d never refer to him as. Chan was what everyone called him, including yourself. You had no idea what “Tonight was a night” meant, though based off the fact he sparked a light after weeks made it out to be pretty stressful.

“Am I your idea of relief?”

Perhaps you like your mysterious relationship. One of which doesn’t require questions, where he smokes on a school night and you sneak out to meet him, talk about the things, anything. Freely.

“This cigarette and your company, yeah. Unless we end up fucking.”

You choke on your spit.

“You’re out of your mind, Bahng.”

“Chan.” He scolds, tutting you upon leaning over to cockily lift his brow — a habit you find annoyingly attractive.

“My parents catch us and you’d be the one dead.”

“You let your parents tell you so?” He laughs, a laugh that ties your stomach into knots. You adore his laugh.

“What, you want a street-rat like yourself?” Perplexed, you take a hefty step back, crossing your arms across your chest stubbornly without missing the split-second his gaze drops down to where your eyes definitely aren’t.

“Nah. I like studious chicks who disobey their parents when they should be doing schoolwork.”

“Like you’re any better, smartass.”

“Don’t curse, you’re too pretty for that.”

You’re silently making ugly faces at each other like fools before he pokes your side and you open your mouth, the threatening string of expletives abruptly hushed.

“Alright sweetheart, you go be Mrs. Harvard ‘n I’ll stay your backyard boy, how ‘bout it?”

Without arguing, you stick out your tongue at him on the climb back up, strategically adjusting the lock to not make a sound while watching his figure fade past the streetlight.

Sometimes, on summer nights like these, you wish you could stay his Mrs. Harvard for a very, very long time.

all rights reserved by @sunboki. repost and plagiarism will not be tolerated.

[askfallenroyalty]

my thoughts on finishing AFR (tumblr version)

Firstly, thank you all so, so so much for reading.

5 years ago, on February 19th, 2018, 2:24 PM I posted the first AFR comic. I drew it thinking it'd be a nice little project for a few months, and then I'd move on. Little did I know it'd become a huge passion project and something that's brought me many, many tears and laughter. It's been a journey making this thing, I can easily say I am hardly the person I am when I first made this. I've learned so much about myself, the world, and what I wanted to say in comics.

AFR didn't become a serious project until I realized Asriel and Chara's story hit home to me and I realized I had something more profound to say than just "heehee silly ut comic where siblings squabble." Now it's become a story about growing up, and the life after the "happy ever after." What does it mean for "everybody to live?" well, you live. You suffer. You cry and laugh and it's everything you want and you fear. You wake up another day.

It's no secret that Chara and Asriel are heavily based on myself. Every OC and every character I can put my grubby little hands on have been influenced by me. Yun's excitement for monsters, Mew Mew's loud declarations of frenzied thought, Hol's quiet, head-in-the-clouds nature... the list goes on. Knowing the characters now, I'm excited for the redraw as I can paint their stories from start-to-finish properly. It pains me more than anything I can't just say "here's a finished product, fully and forever." But one step to getting there was finally finishing the tumblr version. So even if I were to die, or lose my ability to draw, I can say: I told my story. I made it real. It's messy, incomplete, and not at all what I aspire it to be, but it's here. And that means, so, so much to me.

Never again will I be accepting story asks. Never again will we see what crazy thing Asriel and Chara are up to in their journey into adulthood. While the story will continue to develop, it has it's ending.

I've grown, a lot. I started this when I was 21 years old. I've had a on/off relationship, I've learned I'm neurodivergent, I've moved out of my abusive dad's home. I've had so many jobs in that time. I lived through the pandemic (not that it's over) and I've made and lost (out of touch) friends along the way. I am Sam. I drew AFR. I still have so much left to do to make it fully realized but I did it.

And in that time people have offered me grammar and spelling corrections. Advice, suggestions, fanart. You've sent like, I can only imagine to be at least a thousand asks in this amount of time. You guys have been a huge part in this comic being made. Even as the story moves more and more away from the "Ask" part of the title, you guys made it so much more fun, thought provoking, and exciting.

So while my minds a bit scattered and I'm kinda jumbled up, I just want to say with every bit of myself: THANK YOU!!!!!

I understand if many of you don't choose to stick around for the redraw, I'm more than thankful to anyone who's read this far (or heck, just one tumblr post is enough. I feel seen.) and if you so choose to stay, I look forward to sharing a million more little moments with you. ^_^

Thank you and I wish you the very best, have a good life. Peace and love on the planet earth <3

[didgeriduwu]

Chapters: 4/?

Fandom: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Scout/Sniper (Team Fortress 2) Characters: Scout (Team Fortress 2), Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2), Spy (Team Fortress 2), Scout's Mother (Team Fortress 2), Other Character Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Trans Scout (Team Fortress 2), Trans Male Scout (Team Fortress 2), Trans Male Character, Tokophobia Warning, Pregnancy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, (i guess it depends on your definition), Emotionally Repressed Sniper (Team Fortress 2), oh god just communicate you fucks, Established Relationship, Situationship?, Spy is Scout's Parent (Team Fortress 2), no beta I have no friends, Medic is a cunt i love him, Scout's Ma is the best, Discussion of Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, almost forgot that one

Summary: Sniper and Scout's relationship is in limbo, and neither seems to know if or how to fix it. Unexpected news finally forces a change, but whether it'll be for better or for worse is anyone's guess.

----

Mick met the dawn smoking a cigarette on the back steps of RED base.

He’d gone after Jeremy, of course, once his legs had started working again. To what end exactly, he didn’t know. Didn’t even question. His brain had packed it in some time after Jeremy had left and Mick had just started walking in the cold night air. Instinct drove his steps, drawing him toward the place where he’d feel most safe, where he could find comfort. And so, each stride brought him closer to Jeremy.

But then he’d stepped foot on the back porch and something cruel and visceral had ripped through him. He was there again, at that house on Adelaide Street, stepping onto the veranda and noticing for the first time that something was wrong. A part of him had known, back then, what he’d find when he walked through that familiar door. He knew well the stench of rotting bodies, and he recognised the black clouds of blowflies hanging in the air.

This time, Mick didn’t go in. Couldn’t go in. He knew – rationally he knew – that he wouldn’t find his dead parents in the RED base’s back corridor. They were thousands of miles away, laying where he’d buried them. Mick knew this, he did.

But caught somewhere unsteady between his fight and flight response, Mick wavered. His hands shook. In fact, all of him shook. He felt like his body might crumble under the weight of the New Mexico night breeze. Mick’s brain was skipping like a record; garbled thoughts died before they could fully manifest. All that made it through the noise were two words, echoing ad infinitum: not again.

Not again.

Not again.

He stopped on that front step, and that was where he stayed.

By the time Mick heard the familiar sound of an Invis Watch decloaking, he was more or less fully recovered. He didn’t ask how long Spy had been there, sitting on that step beside him on a bloody hanky of all things to protect his precious suit. He didn’t say anything.

“I suppose it’s true that children marry their parents.” Spy said around a soon-to-be-lit cigarette. “I had hoped at least that Jeremy would have the sense to choose someone more like his mother.”

“I don’t like what you’re insinuatin’, snake,” Mick growled. It sounded more pathetic than fierce, like a wounded kitten. “You n’ I are nothin’ alike, and Je- Scout n’ I aren’t married. Never will be.”

“Où est un fusil de chasse quand on en a besoin?.” [Where's a shotgun when you need one?]

“Wot?”

Spy just sighed, “I want you to look at something.” He reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a cigarette case. It wasn’t the one that housed his spy kit; this one was silver and engraved with swirling feather-like patterns that glinted even in the dim light. Spy flicked it open, revealing a stack of photographs on one side and a few expensive looking cigarettes on the other. He slipped out the photographs and handed them to Mick. “These stay between us, oui?”

Mick mumbled an agreement, studying the first photograph. It was of a woman, dark-haired and pretty with an upturned nose. Her hands rested lovingly over her pregnant belly, grinning widely at the camera. Mick had seen her image before, framed and placed at Jeremy’s bedside, but even if he hadn’t, he would have recognised her from that smile. Her son had an almost identical one, and Mick knew it well. “She looks like Jeremy,” He murmured, before chuckling just a little. “Or I s’pose Jeremy looks like her.”

Spy only hummed impatiently, hands outstretched as if waiting to snatch back his secrets. The man clearly did not enjoy being so exposed, and Mick would be lying if he said he didn’t want to savor that discomfort just a smidge. There was a part of him that was impressed, though, especially when he saw the next photo.

Mick knew Spy was Jeremy’s father – how could he not? – but he’d never expected the Frenchman would admit to it, even indirectly. And yet here Mick was, staring at a foxed and care-worn photograph of Spy standing proudly beside his lover, with their infant child in his arms.

A photograph where Spy was maskless. Mick studied his face, puzzling out the little bits of Jeremy he could see in width of Spy’s nose and the shape of his brow. And the ears. Jeremy had definitely inherited Spy’s ears.

“Don’t look so surprised, Bushman. There is still a face under this mask.” Spy stubbed out the butt end of his cigarette and took out another. “Quite a handsome one, I might add.”

Mick snorted, eyes still on the picture. He turned it over and was rewarded with a year (’46) and a line of text, written in a small, neat hand.

Jean, Gracie et…

The last name was crossed out, and beneath it had been written: Jérémy.

Mick moved on to the next photograph, and the next. Images of Jeremy as an infant, then a toddler, being held by his mother or aloft precariously between seven boys. Jeremy looking furious in the frilliest dress Mick had ever seen. Jeremy a blur on stubby toddler legs. Jeremy holding up a drawing and flashing tiny baby teeth.

And then, abruptly, the images changed. The photos charting the next few decades were candid, taken from afar and sometimes blurry. Jeremy trotting into a school with a backpack almost as big as him, his mother wiping tears from her eyes. Jeremy in a baseball uniform grinning wildly as he reaches home plate. Jeremy behind the wheel of a car, his mother looking panicked in the passenger seat. Jeremy, fist raised, jumping quite literally into a fight.

The final image was familiar. It took a moment, but Mick soon recognised it as the same photo that was taped to the wall of his camper, or a copy of it at least. It was a team photograph, taken right after their first victory on the battlefield all those years ago, and as far as Mick knew they all had a copy. Many of the mercs still sported injuries and torn, bloody clothing, but all faced the camera with pride. In the full photograph, Mick remembered, the father and son had stood to the left, but this copy had been cropped to centre them. Jeremy stood just behind and to the right of Spy, his left hand raised at the elbow with two fingers extended as if to hold an invisible cigarette. His right hand was held at chest height, palm up as if holding an open cigarette case. It was an uncannily accurate impression of Spy, who stood in that exact pose just in front of him, and by the look on Jeremy’s face, he knew it.

Mick had seen the photo countless times, but it was only now with the rest of the noise cut away that he noticed the way Spy’s head was tilted just slightly to the right, eyes on the runner. And was there a hint of fondness there, in that self-satisfied smirk?

For the first time - and somewhat reluctantly - Mick thought about how lonely Spy’s life must be. Mick was private, yes, but Spy took solitude to a whole new level. He lived his life faceless, nameless, and often literally invisible, haunting the halls of RED base like a self-important ghost. What was it like to live like that? Unliked and unloved, keeping pictures of the son you refuse to talk to in the breast pocket of your ludicrously expensive suit. How did it feel to hold the only image of you and your son taken this side of 1960, knowing you had to cut it out of a staff photograph?

It didn’t take long, however, for Mick to remember he didn’t give a fuck.

“Why are ya showing me this, Spook? Do ya want me to feel sorry for ya? Cause I’m not. Ya bloody well deserve it, ya prick.”

“Perhaps,” Spy said, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “But I am not here for me, Bushman. If comfort was what I desired, I’m sure I could find more… refined company from which to extract it. Non. I am here for my son and, if you can believe it, for you as well.”

Mick scoffed. “I doubt that.”

Spy rolled his eyes. “Let me be clear, Bushman,” He spat the moniker with some degree of force. “I do not like you. Nor do I like this affaire de coeur you have been engaged in with my son.”

“Well I’ve got good news for ya, Spook…”

“But - mon dieu! - I am telling you to stay with him.”

It took several moments for Mick to successfully make his mouth work. “Wot?”

“Don’t make me say it again, jar man.” Spy shuddered, which Mick thought was a bit much.

“But why?”

Spy took a drag from his cigarette, then another. Mick had already resolved to repeat his question when the Frenchman finally spoke. “Because, you crétin, you are about to make a terrible mistake – the same one I made thirty years ago - and despite what you might think I am not entirely heartless.” Spy brushed a thumb against his lip, silver curls of smoke still leaking from his cigarette. “I know about the pregnancy.”

“Pregnancy? What the bloody hell are ya talkin’ about?”

“Now is not the time to play the fool, Bushman,” Spy hissed. “You impregnated my son, do not give me any more reason to-”

Mick laughed at that, much to Spy’s fury. ‘Jer is not pregnant, Spook. Where the hell’d ya get that from?”

“Do you really think you can lie to me? I heard your argument last night!”

“I dunno what ya heard, but Jer didn’t say anythin’ about a pregnancy. There’s no way he is, anyway. I don’t even think he can-” Mick’s voice shriveled up and died in his throat.

“Oh merde.” Spy brought the palms of his hands to his forehead. “Il ne sait vraiment pas.” [Oh shit. He really doesn't know].

Mick didn’t hear him; panic had filled his ears with raw noise. His brain flitted from image to image at a blinding speed, barely lingering long enough to send a bolt of terror through him for each one.

Jeremy fleeing the battlefield, hand clasped over his mouth.

Jeremy choosing water over Bonk!.

Jeremy opting to wear looser and looser clothes.

Mick felt ill. He staggered to his feet, hands clasped together beneath his nose as if in prayer. The urge to flee shot down Mick’s legs, and he rocked unsteadily on his heels.

New pictures – daydreams - filtered through, ones he’d fought so hard to quash for so long: a little house in the woods, a home, a life. And now, in the centre of it, a child.

“No…” He whispered to no-one in particular.

Will it have Jeremy’s eyes?

“No!” Mick lurched toward the door. He had to get away. He had to-

A gloved hand gripped his shoulder. “Arrêt- Wait!” Mick halted his flight, but didn’t turn back, so Spy stepped around to face him. “Ils ne te quittent pas! You cannot get away from it!”

Mick made to side-step him, but Spy seized both of his shoulders in a death grip. His eyes were wide and molten, teeth bared in some kind of sneer. “Listen to me, Mundy!” He hissed. “When you leave a child, they don’t leave you. They stay with you. Always.” With that last word, Spy seemed to almost deflate. His hands fell from Mick’s shoulders.

Mick took the opportunity to flee.

[happyk44]

Jasico prompt:

Nico as a VA who does ASMR recordings and Jason is his devoted fan/follower who listens and comments on everything he posts.

His voice was just soothing. He naturally spoke soft like a summer breeze, but he was good with accents too. He could mimic to the best of them. Still, Jason much preferred Nico's natural speaking voice. It filled him with a gentle air that had him floating as he laid down and listened to the soothing sound of whatever script Nico was reciting. Sometimes Jason didn't even hear the words. Just let himself soak in the clouds of Nico's voice, only taking in the gentle sounds he spoke.

--

Nico had a fan. A very rabid fan. Not rabid as his volatile but just. Rabid as in there. Every post Nico made, he could be certain if he doubled back hours later that fan would have commented on it. Liked it.

If Nico put out a tip jar, that fan was usually one of the first to donate and always had such a heavy amount. It felt overwhelming the first few times - almost like he was going to owe this person something for all the attention they were pouring into him. Sometimes he hovered his finger over the block button.

But he never pressed it. Just backtracked and breathed.

This fan wasn't like the others. They didn't come storming into Nico's DMs demanding certain content. They didn't email him begging him to voice act some indie project they had going on for free. They didn't desperately scream for information on projects he was working on, information he couldn't give out, and then berate him wildly for refusing.

This person was just there. It was kind of like having a sugar daddy that just genuinely wanted you to be happy, instead of your pants down and ass up.

Nico settled at his desk. His equipment was still set up for later, but he ignored it, choosing to lift his laptop lid and sign into his computer. Copying the link Walt texted him earlier, he began to type out a new message to his followers - and any strangers who stumbled across his posts.

Hey guys, my friend Walt is kickstarting his first indie project. It will be a RPG pixel game based on Egyptian gods. You can find more information at the link below. If all goes well, I will be voice acting as the Narrator and a couple secret characters.

He flapped his wrist, willing the pain to disappear before he kept typing.

As a bonus incentive to help my friend fund this project, I will be offering a customized 30 minute ASMR recording of your choice to the person who donates the most to the campaign. Screenshot your donation and submit it through the contact form on my website. I will only be doing this upon completion of the funding period. If you withdraw your donation for whatever reason, your submission will be taken out of consideration.

He submitted the post with a link to Walt's project and sat back. For a minute, he contemplated. His rabid fan... They never did request anything, even when Nico opened the floor to suggestions. Other people did. Then some got frustrated or upset when he didn't do them.

But this fan always seemed eager to please. He wondered if he should text Walt to keep an eye out for their username. Even if they didn't submit their screenshot for consideration, they'd probably still donate a ridiculous amount of money to back the project. Just because Nico asked.

It was weird to have this kind of power over one person. Maybe sugar daddy wasn't the word for what they were. It was probably something else - Bianca would know.

But she'd also make fun of him for it somehow.

--

Jason wrung his wrists nervously. He had spent... Well, it was certainly a number that would have his step-mom calling him once she did her quarterly review of his trust fund account, but it was worth it for the "Hi, Jason Grace, you won a customized recording from Nico di Angelo, aka The Ghost King. Please send a script or concept over for him to develop and record for you."

Hazel sometimes featured in the background of Nico's videos. He said she was his sister, slash assistant, slash business manager, because he was "shit with money" and "would probably live in a cardboard box without her".

Jason had been kind of hoping that Nico would email him personally, but he didn't mind seeing Hazel's name at the bottom. She always seemed so pleasant. She had a nice voice too. Just... not as nice as Nico's.

His eyes flitted nervously to the time at the bottom of his computer screen. Just one more minute.

His request had been sort of... unorthodox. He knew most people would probably have something in mind. Either a fully blown script or an idea - just like Hazel had requested. And technically Jason did have an idea.

It just.

Wasn't what most people would think of.

His concept was just. A chat. A talk. He didn't want Nico to play some character or act in any which way. He just wanted to hear him talk about anything. His day. His life. His hobbies. The colour of sky. Anything.

As soon as he emailed that that was what he wanted, Hazel had sent back a quick, "Are you sure?" He responded with an enthusiastic "yes", and she'd replied back with some dates and times for a video conference. He didn't think that would matter. Since he just wanted to hear Nico talk, there wasn't much to discuss.

But he wasn't going to turn down a chance to meet him face-to-face.

Well, over video, but it would be different this time. Nico didn't really do "lives". People had asked and he just said he didn't like being actively seen. At least with his videos, they were passive. He didn't feel like he needed to keep an eye on the audience.

The clock struck 3pm and Jason immediately clicked the link Hazel had emailed over a few hours earlier. He would've clicked it as soon as she sent it but he didn't want to seem too eager for it.

It took a few seconds but Nico's face emerged on the other side. Jason resisted the urge to gape. Nico was always pretty - it was half the reason he picked up followers so fast. But in his videos, even in photos, there was always shadows, dim lighting, something to disguise him in mystery and darkness, to really sell his moniker as The Ghost King.

But now he was swathed in soft pastel lights. Instead of his usual hoodie, he wore a comfortable dark crewneck sweater with an embroidered skull on the chest. His hair was partially tied back, still a large volume of hair spilling out. What did Piper call that again? A half ponytail.

It pulled his bangs back, showcasing his warm brown eyes.

Jason swallowed dryly as Nico looked around calmly and said, "Hi, Jason! Can you hear me?"

Jason was about to fucking have a heart attack. "Yes," he said quickly.

Nico grinned and Jason's heart soared. The smile was a wicked thing - wider than it had ever been in any photo. Nico didn't really smile in his videos, focused on the things he was saying. But some photos captured a half smile, peaking out around shadows - more smirk than grin most of the time.

Here he seemed content, pleased. "That's great. So... Hazel said you just wanted to hear me talk? She said-" He paused and turned, picking up a black phone. "-anything that comes to mind is fine."

Jason nodded rapidly. Already his pulse was beating fast. Nico's voice was so angelic, even just saying regular words with no intent behind them. Why wouldn't he want to hear Nico talk

Nico cocked his head curiously. "You sure that's all you want? No character you want me to imitate or persona you'd like me to act as?"

"No," Jason croaked. His mouth was dry. "I just- I really your voice."

A pleasant rosy hue spread across Nico's cheeks. Jason stared before he remembered that staring for so long was unsettling to people and blinked away. Nico didn't seem all that bothered by it. Instead he was regarding Jason with a curious gaze and amused eyes.

"Okay, let me just start recording then..." His voice trailed off as he clicked away at the screen. "Okay! Um." His eyes flickered upwards. "Well, Walt surpassed his funding goals and he's starting reaching out to people who said they were interested in working on the project. I can't reveal too many details right now, but the development is going well so far." His focus turned back to Jason. "Are you sure there isn't anything you'd like me to say?"

"No." Jason fought the urge to lay his arms down on his desk, rest his chin on his arms, close his eyes, and listen intently. Nico might think he was falling asleep if he did that. Instead, he just reclined comfortably in his chair and adjusted his headphones. "You can just talk about whatever."

Thirty minutes of Nico's voice would be enough. Plus he'd get a free recording, and at the start Nico would be saying his name.

He'd replay that moment over and over again until he'd memorized the sound of his name in Nico's beautiful voice like a permanent brand in his ears.

Nico crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath. "Okay. Let me know if you change your mind." He leaned in a little closer to the microphone. "Yesterday I went to the grocery store with my sister, Hazel. We were looking for garam masala. Hazel wanted to try this new recipe for butter chicken. I like it, but for some reason, I can never get the sauce to thicken properly. It's fine and good, but it is very liquid compared to what you get at a restaurant."

As Nico talked about his adventures with hunting down garam masala and frustratingly attempt to get the butter chicken sauce to thicken up, Jason soaked every word in like it was pouring rain on a long walk home. Every hitch of his breath, the change in tone, the softness, the roughness, the gravelly annoyance, the euphoric brightness - every iota of sound that he made plunged perfectly into Jason's ears, warm and soft like honey.

Desperately he didn't want it to end, but soon the clock flickered that thirty minutes had passed. It dragged on by a few more seconds, just to round out Jason's 30 minute recording, but then it was over.

He stiffened up as Nico trailed off then said, "Oh, time's up."

His heart sank into his chest. He didn't want it to be over. Wanted to hear Nico speak to him for as long as he could. "That was nice," he said instead.

He wouldn't whine. He was not owed Nico's time. Wasn't owed his presence. He won the time he won and he had the time he had.

That was enough.

"It was," Nico agreed brightly and Jason smiled. "You are a very easy audience, Jason."

Nico's laugh and the sound of Jason's name rolling of his tongue had him going warm. It spread hot through his chest and down into the pits of his belly.

"I'll send you the recording of this later today," Nico said. "It was nice to meet you, Jason." He waved and Jason waved back, hoping his hand wasn't moving too fast, that he didn't look too sad. "Bye."

"Bye," Jason echoed.

Nico vanished off the screen. Jason wilted and flattened his arms across the desk, one right over the other. He buried his chin between them, closing his eyes. Concentrating hard, he pulled the sound of Nico's voice saying his name and replayed it over and over again in his mind.

Maybe if he was lucky, Nico would do this again.

And he'd made sure that once more he was the highest bidder.

[hexedwinchester]

Hi, do you write smut?

If so, could I request a Sam x fem! Reader smut, with an established relationship

Could be pretty much anything you want

Thanks!

hi anon! I don't write a lot of smut but I'm taking your request as a challenge. Also why it took me 4 days to respond. It may not be perfect but I had fun writing it. let me know if this was a hit or a miss? Thanks for the ask.

This is what I went with: Sam bakes the reader a cake for her birthday. There's chocolate and sex. You can either read it below or on AO3:

The gentle whirring throughout the corridor of the bunker is normal and comforting. It's as if the bunker is alive and breathing and it probably is, based on all the interesting stories Sam has told you. 

Being underground, the air is stale but you don't mind; it's as close to home as you could get. Orphaned and moving between foster homes will do that to you. And who said home had to be a place? Wherever Sam was, it was home. 

The long walks along the corridors were calming. Most of the rooms were locked and unoccupied, and it was common for the Winchester men to either huddle together in the main room with the gigantic table with a world map for a tabletop or in Sam's favourite place: the library.

As you whistle your way to the main room looking for Sam, the sharp, bitter smell hits you first before you turn around the passage to see the end of the hallway filled with flimsy gray smoke. 

Holy mother of God!

You break into a run following the smoke just as the fire sensors go off. Any minute the sprinkler will flood the bunker. 

"Sam!" You scream, barging into his room only to find it's dark and empty. Not wasting another minute, you continue to rush through the smoke, coughing as it burns your throat.

"Sam!" You try again but there's still no answer.

The fire alarm is too loud, he probably can't hear you. You reason with yourself but the anxiety and panic is getting to you. Or he's choking on the smoke, minutes away from death. No! You banish that thought.

The smoke grows thicker as you reach the kitchen and you can barely see inside. Taking off Sam's shirt that you stole from him last night, you flap it around to clear the cloud of smoke.

"Sam? Sam!" The shirt is hardly helping but at least the smoke isn't choking you. As if your prayers have been answered, the vents on the ceiling speed up, sucking the smoke out of the room.

It take a few minutes before the room comes into a clear view.

"What exploded in here?" You wonder out loud as you turn off the oven which seem to be a cause of the fire. The inside of the oven looks like a Leviathan exploded in there and it's best not to open it until you know what died inside for sure.

The entire kitchen is a mess. The floor is dusted with, well, flour. Sticky pots and spatulas are piled up in the sink and broken eggshells are sitting on the counter reeking the whole place rotten. There is a half-empty bowl of batter that's clearly curdled and a piping bag with frosting that looks like it has seen better days. The only edible bit on the counter are neatly sliced strawberries.

This couldn't be Dean. He is just as meticulous with the kitchen as he is with the Impala. But the strawberries are a biggest clue. Dean is hearty when it comes to cooking. He chops and dices and throws in the ingredients to fit the vibe. This isn't Dean. Other glaring clue is, he is out on a hunt since yesterday morning. Which only leaves Sam. Sam cooks but it's usually a salad or a sandwich. Between the brothers, Dean is clearly the one with better culinary skills.

"Y/N" You whirl around to find Sam in the doorway, a plastic bag in his hand. From the shape and the semi transparent opacity, you can see a small cake inside.

"What happened here?"

Looking nervous, he steps inside and places the bag on the counter between the curdled batter and broken eggshells.

"Uh," he smiles, dimples denting into his cheeks. "I was baking a cake for you."

A blush creeps up your cheek. He baked you a cake. No one's ever baked you a cake before. They didn't even care to remember your birthday. 

"But..." He starts and looks behind him at the charred contents of the oven. "Guess I don't know how use an oven."

Oh. Ooohh..

"Oh Sam", you rest his shirt on the back of a nearby chair and cup his face. It's the thought that counts, right?

"The batter looked off and the cake wasn't rising so I quickly went out to get one from the store. Obviously, I forgot to turn it off before leaving..." 

One quick peek in the bag shows a small, round sponge cake in a plastic container and a few bars of chocolate.

Sheepishly, he explains, "Umm.. Dean used to do this for my birthday. Buy a muffin and decorate it with icing."

It breaks your heart. You never had a birthday but you are glad that Sam had Dean and whatever it was that came close to a birthday celebration for the brothers. 

"What did you do for Dean's birthday?"

"Well, Dean doesn't like cakes, so I always bought him a decent slice of pie."

Ah, that sounded exactly something Dean would enjoy.

"Well, so much for the surprise," Sam says, rubbing your shoulders. "Why don't you take a seat here." He maneuvers you to the high table, seating you down. "And I will make you a cake that won't set the bunker ablaze."

Sam is off to work and watching him work is a therapeutic experience in itself. He fills a pot with water and sets it on the burner bringing it to a boil. Grabbing a stainless steel bowl big enough so that it doesn't sink in the pot, he sets it on the rim. 

The chocolate bars are cracked in two and dumped in the double boiler. Much easier if he chopped them finer, but you keep that advice to yourself. Sam discards the eggshells and wipes the counter clean. The batter sees the same fate as the eggshells and he puts all the dishes in the dishwasher. Despite, the neat job, you wonder how the kitchen was so messy and on the verge of going up in flames just a few minutes ago.

Then it occurs to you, Sam knows this. He has always been sharp and steady with what he knows best. Clearly, baking from scratch is something he attempted for the first time. For you.

And he had a back up plan ready. He is really going all out for your birthday, an event that has never been of significance to anyone around you. Oh Sam!

While you are busy pondering on how amazing Sam is, he has already set the sponge cake on the cake stand and is pouring the melted chocolate over it, letting it overflow down the edges.

From where you are sitting, you have a great view of him. The overhead lights accentuates the muscles in his back beneath the snug, gray tee shirt as he works on the cake. He reaches for something on the top shelf, the hem of the tee shirt riding up, giving you a sneak peek of his slim waist. The black sweat pants are a loose fit all over and do no justice to the bottom half of his body.

Sam turns around and brings the cake to you. He sets it in front you and lights the candle. It's a plain vanilla sponge cake covered in melted Milka, a dash of sprinkles and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N in a crooked writing.

"Make a wish", he says, his usually green eyes glinting golden in the candlelight.

What more can you wish for when you have everything you ever wanted in Sam: a home, a love and a sense of safety.

Not wanting to disappoint, you close your eyes, make a wish and blow out the candle. He wishes you Happy Birthday with a kiss on your cheek and hands you a knife. Cutting a thin slice, you feed him the piece and he does the same. 

"Can I lick that?" You ask eyeing the bowl with melted chocolate that looks like you can still swipe the chocolate off the side. 

Sam laughs and nods, "Be my guest."

You bounce over to the bowl and stick your finger in the warm, gooey chocolate. "Mmmm..." You moan as you lick it off your fingertip. "Thanks Sam."

Sam clears his throat and croaks a 'welcome'. You turn around to see him twisted in his seat looking at you with a peculiar expression. His mouth opens as the tip of his tongue swipes across his bottom lip.

Is he... Is he aroused by me licking chocolate? Only one way to find out. 

You slowly dip your finger in the bowl, letting the chocolate coat it before pulling it out. The chocolate slides down your digit as you bring it up to your lips and hold it for a few long seconds. Closing your mouth around it, you suck deeply, moaning around your finger.

Sam curses under his breath and scratches the back of his head looking away from you. Thrumming his long fingers on the table, he takes two deep breaths before rising and walking over to you in quick, confident steps. 

"Wanna try?" You offer the chocolate dipped finger as he invades your personal space, towering a good one foot over you. He doesn't answer but closes his warm, wet mouth around it. The soft feel of a tongue sliding up your finger sends goosebumps down your arm.

Large hand grabs your wrist as he sucks on your finger, even after the chocolate is long gone. 

"Sam...?" You whisper his name.

He pulls the finger out and runs his nose along your wrist, inhaling deeply. A hand wraps around your waist as he draws you flush against his body. You can feel all that hard, worked muscles under the thin fabric of his clothes. His heat easily penetrates into your skin exciting you.

He grabs your chin between his thumb and his finger, tilting your head up. For a second, you think he is going to kiss you. So, you close your eyes briefly and wait. But instead the feel of his buttery soft lips, a thumb swipes under your lip and then the warm touch is gone. When you open your eyes, Sam is still in your personal space, sucking on his tongue.

"Mmmm..." He moans. "Chocolate tastes good."

Oh that sound he just made, fills your belly with a liquid warmth just like the chocolate. You want him to make that sound again. 

"Can I taste the rest?" A mischievous glint in his eyes makes wonder you if that was an innuendo.

"Yes..."

The edge of the counter digs into your thighs as he pushes his body harder on yours. His mouth is at the corner of your lips, kissing a trail down to your neck. The kisses are soft but urgent. Their softness and the heat of his mouth are a delicious contrast against your supple skin.

"Ah!" You bite back a moan when his teeth sink into your neck. A hand rides up from your waist and into your hair. He tugs on your hair, exposing your neck sucking on the spot there.

Raking your fingers through his hair, you pull his face back to yours, crashing your lips into his. Parting them, you take that opportunity to suck on his bottom lip. 

Sam hooks his hands behind your knees and hoists you up on the counter. Your legs wrap around his waist drawing him closer. He obliges by pressing his body against yours and kissing your lips harder. 

A smile stretches on your lips. He tastes like chocolate and you are tempted to taste more. You fumble in the back trying to reach the bowl. It's challenging when Sam is kissing you like there's no tomorrow but you manage to get a hold of it. Dipping two fingers in it, you smear the chocolate on Sam's cheek as you cup his face to deepen the kiss.

"Oops!" You whisper into his ear as he nips your neck. Cradling his face, you lick the chocolate off cheek and you are rewarded with a guttural moan and a hard push between your legs. 

"My turn."

Sam trails his chocolate coated fingers from your cheek down to neck. His wet tongue follows the path of his fingers lapping up the chocolate. 

The hot breath against your skin is dizzying. Sam slides his fingers under the thin strap of your spaghetti top and pulls it down baring your shoulders. He presses a soft kiss on your shoulder tip.

Your body is aware of all the places he is touching you: his lips peppering kisses across your collarbone, hands skimming down your arms and settling on your waist, his hard-on rubbing between your legs. 

You shiver as his fingers slip under your top, the hard knuckles brushing against your stomach. Grabbing the hem of the top, he yanks it over your head. He smiles as his lips catch yours, brushing against them, sucking on them.

Rough, calloused hands squeeze your waist and ride up to your chest. His fingers graze under the swell of your breasts before cupping them. The touch is far from gentle and you tip your head back and let out a pained moan. His large hands paw at your flesh, fondling them. Sam slips his thumbs inside the lacey cups of your black bra and exposes your nipples. The cool air hits your tips, hardening them.

One swipe of his thumbs draws another set of moans. All your attention is focused on the fingers rolling those hard peaks. You let out a whimper when his mouth closes over your nipple and the quick swipe of his tongue on the bud makes you cry out his name.

The betrayal of your body is evident as you push your chest towards him. In return, he suckles deeply, milking the pleasure out of you. Your fingers bunch into his hair but you are unsure whether to push him away or pull him closer. 

He turns to your other nipple and clamps his mouth over it. Each flick of his tongue makes you tremble and shiver. Your head is resting on the cabinet behind as you push your body towards Sam. He reaches back and unhooks your bra. Taking it off your bare body, he casts it behind him where it lands somewhere near your top.

Gaining some strength back, you lift his t-shirt over his head. Discarding it, you lock your fingers behind his neck as you pull him closer. The feel of his hard, hot body on your tender one is amazing. 

Kissing him deeply, you let your hands roam and explore the planes and ridges on his torso. The skin is soft to touch but beneath that, the muscles are hard and firm just like the rest of him.

You slide lower so that your center aligns with his erection. Grinding on him, you suck on his neck hard enough to leave a mark. 

"Y/N..." That sound raw and guttural sound echoes through the kitchen.

He bends down to kiss you again and your hand slips between your hips, brushing on his hard-on. You palm his dick and slowly rub it, feeling it grow under your touch.

Sam breaks the kiss to let out a curse. You watch in fascination as he tips his head up and bites back a moan. You trace the shape of his dick and roll your finger over his head. He whispers your name like a prayer and a curse.

Before you can take this futher, his eyes snap open. Lust swimming in those ocean green eyes as he command, "Get off the counter."

You know better than to challenge him and jump off the counter. The moment your feet land on the cold tiles, he grabs your waist and flips you around. Pulling your body close to him so that your back is pressed against his chests, he cups your jaw. Forcing your face up, he bends down to kiss you, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

Your hands lock behind his neck trying to get a grip as you return the kiss. Goosebumps pop over your skin when he trails his fingers from your arms, down your sides, to your waist. 

The telltale sound of your zipper followed by the pop of your button rings loud in your ears. The denim shorts are now loose at the waist. Sam's hand dips inside shorts and cover your mound. 

You know the moment his fingers graze your panties, they are going be slick with your wetness. The fingers rub over the crotch of your panties soaking up more wetness. Then his touch gone for a brief second only to return the next moment. This time, there's no fabric between your sex and Sam's hand is inside your panty. He rubs your mound back and forth before parting your folds open with his fingers.

Ohh... 

It's great that your mouth is occupied kissing Sam Winchester, otherwise you would be a moaning mess right away. Especially with the way Sam is touching you. He alternates between rubbing your clit back and forth and rolling his finger in circles. The other hand is fondling your breasts, teasing your peaks.

Your knees are giving out and the only thing holding you upright is Sam's hard body. You lean heavily into him as he fingers you and you cry out his name when he pushes a long finger inside you.

There is no time to adjust to the feeling because he gives you none. Oh that damn finger is long enough to reach the depths of your vagina that you couldn't with yours. He pumps his finger faster adding another one and you can't do anything but ride it out until Sam decides to give you your release.

He does this thing where he fingers you hard enough to build the orgasm but stills his ministrations before you can hit the peak. 

"Sam!" You cry out in frustration. You need that release. You need it now.

"Yeah, baby?" He feigns innocence.

"I need it." You beg.

"Need what?" His fingers are still thrusting inside you, hitting that sensitive spot over and over again. He grinds the heel of his palm on your sensitive bud. You whimper in response. He asks again, "need what, baby?"

There are tears in your eyes. This is too much and yet not enough. "Sam, please... Please!"

"Use your words, babygirl."

"I need to come!" You groan. "Please, make me come... Pleaseee.."

"Shhhhh.." he hushes you but to your dismay, draws his hand back too.

"No..."

As you are about to turn to face him, he places a hand on your back and pushes you forward so that your head is resting on the countertop. Running his hands down your sweat-coated back, he hooks his thumb on the waistband of your shorts and tugs them down along with your panties. 

Grabbing your hips, he pulls them out and kicks your legs apart. You feel exposed but right now with your ass on display but the only thing you care about is riding out your orgasm. If Sam wants to tie you up and screw you until the sun comes up, you are more than willing as long as you get to come. 

You don't hear the soft shuffle of Sam's sweatpants hitting the floor but you feel it when his dick rubs against your wet slit. He rubs it over your sex, coating it with your slick before lining the tip with your entrance. 

The pinch sensation hurts as he pushes the head inside you. "Sam.." the moan spills from your swollen lips. You feel the head slipping inside. He draws back and then slams into you with force that drives his dick all the way inside you. 

Grabbing your hips in a bruising hold, he rams into you. The feeling of fullness is exquisite and the penetration is so deep, you can feel his dick reach your throat. He humps faster, gaining speed. The kitchen air is heavy on the scent of sex and the sound of your moans, his grunts and the wet noises of skin rubbing on skin.

Like his finger, his dick hits the spot over and over again, building a dam that is so close to breaking. He bends over you, covering your back with his body as he thrusts harder. His movements are choppy and you know he is close too. The harder he humps, the tigher you clench around his dick.

Your insides are sensitive, you are oh so very close. All you need is something to send you over the edge. It happens when Sam pulls all the way back only to slam back into you as he bites down on your neck. Stars explode behind your eyes as your body shatters into throes of orgasm. It feels like it goes on for eternity and probably it does. Your body trembles and threatens to collapse. But you are still impaled on Sam's dick and he is still chasing his own release.

Three deep thrusts later, Sam collapses over you as he empties himself inside you, filling you up. His grip on your waist is gone, instead he is combing his fingers through your hair.

It's only after a few seconds pass and he asks again you realise that he is talking to you. "Y/N, are you okay?"

You are more than okay. You are in heaven. An eternal bliss. But you resort to a single nod.

Sam pats your head and slips out. You groan at the emptiness and crave to be filled again. 

When you don't move, he quickly hold you up. Grabbing his shirt that you wore last night, he drapes it over your shoulder. How could he screw you like an animal one minute and then be so chivalrous that he covers your naked, freshly screwed body in an empty bunker?

"Let's get you cleaned up." He offers a hand and it only dawns on you that he somehow had the time to put on his sweatpants. Unfortunately, before you can take up his offer or ask him about the sweatpants, your jelly legs buckle.

"Woahh", he chuckles, holding you in place and saving you a fall. With one hand behind your knees and the other across your shoulder, he lifts you up bridal style and pads in the direction of the bathroom.

Hmmm.. bathroom with a good shower pressure and a wet, naked Sam? Sounds like a best birthday ever!

[paarthurnax59]

"Little Sparrow" Chapter 3

Warnings: Cursing in French, swearing and mention of Religion, bad French. (Please don't kill me)😅

Word count: 3,819

     Cardinal Jinette marched through the affluent halls of the Vatican with you following behind him. You reached the main hall where the confessional was. He goes in one side and you on the other. He pulled a lever and the wall opened to a fire lite stone staircase and tunnel. The both of you went down the tunnel to the depths of the ancient city. It led to the basement where many of the weapons were being made for the Order’s hunters.  He opened the doors to the lab where weapons and research is being done, many men and women from every background. All came together to fight the evils of the world and protect humanity. Over the centuries, the main base had shifted and change. Once the modern era had passed, they had to quickly evolve to keep with the ever-changing world.

 Advancing every decade and growing in knowledge and craftsmanship, yet still kept secret from the rest of the world. There were semi-automatic weapons made to kill man foes all at once, bombs that could obliterate dark creatures in the blink of an eye and new high tech EVP meters that can detect not just spirits, but demons as well. Creating armor and high-tech equipment. Even training animals that had the ability to detect the unseeable. They would frequently join in on hunts to find and hunt down the creatures of the night. 

    As the both of you strut through the crowded area, you noticed a lot of eyes on you. As the two of you walked down the halls, you noticed some very familiar faces as the many priests, nuns and monks looking at you. Some people were even muttering under their breaths, pointing at you.   Most people stopped working their current inventions and projects, just to turn their eyes on you. Some spreading ridiculous rumors that were spreading throughout the hall.

“Why is she back?”

“I thought she was kicked out after all the drama she caused.”

“That spoiled brat doesn’t belong here.”

   The comments kept coming at you as you walked through the hall with your adopted father. Wanting so badly to punch the people that were saying shit behind your back. Cardinal Jinette, who also heard the whispers coming from the Order’s members, stopped in his tracks and turned to you. 

“Pay no attention to them, Paressa. Don’t let your thoughts be clouded by false rumors and gossip.” He assured you and continued to lead you to your destination. You did your best to ignore the comments being slung at you and just kept on walking. After all it’s not something you were here for. Right now, getting answers was the most important objective right now, and finding Van Helsing before it’s too late. You made it through the lab with Father Cardinal without paying any more attention to the people talking . There he led you to the stone stairway. Your eyebrows raised in surprise at where he had taken you.

“Father…Are you really taking me down here?” You asked while you looked at him. His old face telling you that he was indeed serious.

“I am, (Name). It’s about time you finally see what is down there. You are ready, Paressa.”

 As you both descend the steps of the hall, memories played in your mind thinking back to your younger years. where Father Jinette first showed you the lab, it was also the very same day you had met Van Helsing. You would never forget such an encounter.

….

“This is where we make all the weapons, technology and tools needed to fight the monsters of the world.” Younger Jinette showed you as you entered the lab for the first time in your eleven years of life. He had fewer wrinkles on his face and his hair dark hair that hide under his hat. You stood in awe and turned around to see all of the amazing equipment that surrounded you. 

“C’est incroyable, pere! Can you show me more!?” Your younger and more eager self begged, while speaking in your native tongue. him with a little jump on the tips of your feet. He nodded and started to show you around the lab a little bit more. He introduced you to some of the inventors and scientists, including Carl, as he guided you through the laboratory. He was about to show you the training hall when he had another priest came up to him and nodded. While he was talking to the other man, you looked around to find that there was a large tunnel that had cut up from the wall. A bright, orange glow illuminated the tunnel. Your curiosity grew more as you looked at it. Then your attention was yet again grabbed by your new guardian by him, clearing his throat. You turned to him, snapping you back to reality. 

“I will be back, I have some business I need to discuss with.” He said and walked off but was still within eyesight so that you could see him. Continuing your curious tread, you walked to the stairway where the tunnel was. Looking down the tunnel, you wanted to venture out. Being an the overly curious child that you were, you started to descend the steps when you were pulled back by a very large, strong hand.

“You shouldn’t be going down there, little girl.” You looked back and saw a tall, young caucasian man, maybe in his late teens with long dark brown hair and light brown eyes. He wore a long black trench coat with black pants and dark grey sweater. Your eyes then suddenly landed on his hand holding your arm. The blood in your veins began to boil as he refused to let you go. You had a thing against people holding you against your will. Your face scrunched up in irritation at the man holding you and tried to pull yourself away from his grasp. 

“Hey! What are you doing?! Tu me laches!” You screeched in French and tried as hard as you could to get out of the tall man’s grasp, but he wouldn’t budge. You kicked, you scratched and even hit him, still would not relent his hold. He even had a smile on his face, letting himself be amused by this little child’s attempt at fighting him off. Once you heard him chuckle, your gritted your teeth and then without warning, you reached out for his free hand and bit him hard. The man howled and released you. As soon as you got free, you ran away from the man. Now furious, he looked back at you and sneered before he ran after you.

“I’ll get you, you little brat!” The man said, catching everyone’s attention. You ran as you saw Jinette looking around after he heard shouting echoed in the laboratory. Quickly running to him and nearly crashed into him, having his arms surround you protectively. The tall, now angry, man came running at you and his eyes widen in confusion.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Jinette bellowed at the man as you hid behind him.

“She was trying to go down the stairway and when I stopped her, she bit my hand!” The burly man with the long locks huffed angerly bearing his teeth while looking at you. 

“Told you to let me go! It’s your fault!” You shouted back at him as you stuck your tongue out at him. The man growled at you and looked like he was about to lunge at you when Jinette stood in front of him.

“Enough, I don’t need this to get worse, Gabriel.” He glowered at the younger man. The young male stood straight and calmed himself as he sneered at you. Jinette then bowed down to you and made you look him in the eye. “Paressa, did you bite him?” He asked you with a raised eye. You frowned and wrapped your arms to your chest.

“No.” You replied not looking him in the eye.

“Liar.” The man snarked and you stuck your tongue out again. The man growled at you but stopped when Jinette stared at him. Then he looked back at you, this time determined to get the truth. 

“(Name)…You know what I have told you about lying? It’s a sin.” He lectured you as you continued to look at you. “Look me in the eye and you must tell me the truth, my child. Did. You. Bite. him?” He hammered every word as Jinette interrogated you. You looked him in the eye and then nodded. The tall, young man scoffed waved his arms in the air.  “And did you try to go down that tunnel?” He said and you nodded, knowing that you couldn’t really lie to him. “Paressa, I will tell you this only once…you are not allowed to go down there. That is no place for a child. You understand me?” He inquired you and you sighed, knowing you had lost on this. 

“Yes, Father Cardinal.” You said defeatedly. 

“Good. Now, I want you to apologize to Gabriel for biting him.”

“But father-”

“Paressa….” He sternly looked and turned his eyes to the young man that you now known as Gabriel. You stubbornly looked away from the obnoxious man looking down at you.

“Sorry.” You grimaced and refused to meet his eyes and the man rolled his eyes. 

“You could do a little better than that. I have seen better manners from gargoyles.” He commented with a displeasing expression, earning a scoff from you. Gabriel then, with a smirk, bent down to your level and whispered to you. “And not as ugly either.” Father Jinette looked at him with a shock and the man just shrugged at him. Your anger resurfaced when he leaned back with a very pleasing grin on his face.

“How about I show you a gargoyle, espece d’ogre stupide!?” You were about to pounce on the man when Jinette stopped you and jumped in front of you 

“Alright, Gabriel. That’s enough. You don’t’ need to be fighting a child over something so trivial!  You are an adult, act like it!” Jinette chastised Gabriel who rolled his eyes over the whole ordeal. “I have a hunt for you to go on in the next two days and the last thing I need is you fighting my new ward. Now, be one your way.” He gestured the man, and he then walked off. After Gabriel left, Jinette then looked down at you and placed his arm on your shoulders. “Come, we have spent enough time here. It’s time for your history lesson, Paressa.”

“Who does he think he is? Calling me an ugly gargoyle.” You mumbled with a pout on your lips.

“That young man my dear Paressa…is Gabriel Van Helsing. He is of the hunters we have here and is by far one of the best.” He answered. 

“I don’t like him.” You mumbled angerly.

“Give him a chance, (Name). You may come to be very fond of him one day. You have more in common than you think.” He tried to persuade you, which made you gag.

“Ugh! No way! !C’est un connard!” You cursed, hoping that Van Helsing will be able to hear. Jinette looked down . At you like you had grown a second head.

“(Name)! you will not be using foul language in God’s holy house!” He gasped at your offensive remarks. “You are not living on the streets anymore and you not will be behaving like it.” Feeling guilty, you looked down folded your arms behind your back.

“Je suis de’sole’, pere. He just got me mad is all.” You whined trying to look as innocent as possible, even though you had just spoken ill profanities just now. Jinette sighed as he guided you down the hall up to Vatican City.

“My child…We have so much work to do with you.”

….

   You chuckled at the memory of how you and Van Helsing met, still could not believe that you had bitten him to release you. You both go further down the tunnel. When your finally reached the bottom, a long stone hallway. A large double iron door was at the end of the hall with two large men guarding the door. The guards were tall, beefy with a very stoic expression, showing no emotion.  They wore padded dark blue armor, and both looked they were armed to the teeth. They were both very imposing to say the least. The door was locked tight, sealing the door tight. Father Cardinal stepped forward and command the man on the left to let them both through. He nodded and stepped aside, and Cardinal pulled out a set of iron keys. He stood up by the door and tinkered with the lock. You heard a clicking sound and Jinette turned to your direction. 

“What I am about to show you, you cannot tell anyone, (Name). Only one other person knows about this and it needs to be kept that way.” Your guardian cautioned making you nod silently. Whatever secret he had, it was serious enough for only for him, you and another person to know. Telling your from when you were a young child that you were forbidden from entering. He opened the door and nodded to the two guards, making them walk away, leaving you alone with Jinette. Once you both were alone, he used his pointing figure and gestured you to follow him inside. Once the both of you went inside, Jinette quickly goes to the iron door and locked it, forbidding anyone from coming in. One you looked away from the old man, you took a good look around the space you both now occupied. Your eyes wide open with amazement to see that it was anything but small. In was large aisle with dark red banner that hung from the pillars that held the room together. Small torches lit up the room, giving an ominous yellowish glow that spread throughout the whole room. At the end, was a large chest down the long hall, with two scarlet banners with the Patriarchal Cross in gold embroidered on them. Jinette appeared at your side. 

“Come. Let me show you, Paressa. This is what Dracula is after.” He said and placed his hand on your back and walked down the dark aisle. You both stood up to the large oak chest and the Cardinal pulled out a small key from his neckless that was hidden in his robes. Your heart pounded widely when you watched him turn the key in the lock and it clicked. He pulled it off and placed his hand on the top of the trunk and lifted the lid, your heart beating louder, and your palms began to sweat. Once the lid was off, a fancy silver case with a roman cross appeared the scared heart of Jesus on the lid of the box. Jinette slowly opens the long silver box. Your eyes widen when you looked inside, and a large gasp escaped your soft lips. It was a long ancient roman spear with wide golden strip wrapped around the middle of the blade. It looked to be a 30 A.D. roman style spear. 

“Is that…what I think it is?” You asked the Cardinal looking at him in shock, wanting him to confirm your suspicious thoughts. There really is no denying of what laid in that case. You had studied ancient Christianity enough in your life to know what that old weapon was.

“Yes, my child. It’s…The Spear of Destiny.” He muffled reverently as he took out the spear from it’s resting place. You examined it closely and saw how it was exactly like the old archives described in your studies as a little girl. “The very weapon that pierced the body of Christ over two millennia ago. Stabbed by Longinus, the Roman soldier that insured the death of the Son of God. It was found in 570 AD and was kept safe ever since. Here in Vatican City.” He said as the both of you gazed at the spear. 

“I can’t believe it.” You softly spoke as you touched the ancient weapon, stroking your finger on it. “Why would Dracula want an artifact like this? Don’t the legends say that he would burn at the touch of Christian artifacts?” You asked looking into father Jinette’s dark brown eyes.

“Because, my child, This spear had been used to ensure Christ’s death when he was on the cross. It was used to cause pain and death to the Son of God, and Dracula loves nothing more than to cause anguish. So yes, he can touch it.” He answered your question, making your blood run cold. “As for why, It is said that those who touch the Spear, will have their power increased a hundred-fold. Some say the wielder themselves will become invincible.” He answered putting the spear back into the silver case. “Many have tried to locate this spear. Evil men like Hitler and Stalin had tried for years to find the location of religious artifacts, this spear being one of them. None of them had succeeded, thankfully.” He sighed with some relief to his voice.

“And if Dracula gets this…”

“He will be unstoppable. There would be no limit to his power. He knew we had the spear and is using Van Helsing to get what he wants. And if he doesn’t…” Jinette didn’t finish as he closed the lid to the spear, a pained expression could be seen on him, not wanting to think about the possible fate that awaited your friend. 

“Gabriel…” You murmured woefully and looked back at the gorgeous silver case. “What do we do?”

“We are going to deliver it to him.” He responded gravely, which made you jump away from him and nearly having all the air cut off from your lungs. Is he out of his mind?!

“Are you insane?!” You screamed and Jinette had to quickly cover your mouth, so that no one could hear your shouting.

“Keep quiet and hear what I have to say!” He yelled whispered and he released you slowly. “There is another part of the legend of the Holy spear that many don’t know. While it made grant invincibility, it can also become another’s down fall. It’s said that this weapon can kill any monster, meaning…” 

“It can also kill him?” You completed his sentence with a question of your own, feeling a sense of what Cardinal Jinette was planning.

“Yes, it can. Which is why…” He turned to look at you again, with a somber face. “You will be the one to deliver it to him.” 

“Me?” You gasped, not believing that Jinette would entrust you with something like this. 

“Yes, Paressa. I want you to be the one that delivers the final blow when the time is right.” He placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“But…father… I don’t know if I am the right person for this.” You said as your voice laced with great uncertainty, making your palms grow sweaty.

    You weren’t trying to cower your way out of it. You were not cowardly by any means. But unfortunately, due to your experience with Charlie’s death and Dean nearly killing you, you were hesitant. His words and anger still fresh in your mind, seeding doubt of your worth. Jinette’s words may mean well, but Dean’s actions kept on clouding your mind. What if you fail? What if Dracula gets his hand on the spear? What if you get someone else killed in the process? What if you don’t make it in time? 

   So many of these questions swarm in your mind, that you looked as though you were in a trance. Your mind was in a fog, deeply cut off from the world around you. Jinette, feeling even more worried for your mental health, shook you from your daze.

“Paressa?” He alerted you that he was still very much present, bringing you back to the real world. Your shook your head and looked to Jinette again, trying to look like nothing was wrong, when it couldn’t be further from the truth. How can you get through this?

“I’m alright, Cardinal. I was just over thinking this whole thing.” You looked down with your voice low. Jinette, looking at you with a strong heavy breath, bowed his head. What had happened to his little sparrow?

“(Name), I don’t know what you had gone through while you were away, but I have noticed something very off about you since you had returned home.” He admitted letting go of your shoulder. “You’re too reserved and timid. Honestly, it has worried me that you had become someone whom I do not recognized. You are not the same girl as you were when you left and quite frankly, I am scared for you.” He preached with much honesty. “…And I do believe that it has something to do with that bruising on your neck.” He acknowledged sadly and your head jolted up to face him as you covered your neck which had Dean’s handprint on it still. You really hoped that the make-up that covered it would have gone unnoticed. “Don’t think I didn’t notice, Paressa. I don’t know who hurt you, my child. But I know that it has caused you great pain and has turned you into a different woman.” Jinette finished “But I do know this… I have a strong feeling you will find yourself again, given the chance.” He concluded with a small smile. He lifted the box that contained the spear and held it out to you. His words starting to encourage you more as you looked back at him and the case.

    Father Jinette had never really been known as a super emotional person. In his younger years before he became a priest, Jinette himself was a hunter. One of the best of the Order while in his prime. He trained Van Helsing when he was younger and then trained you. He was recruited by the Order after his late parents were killed by a demon possessing them. The head of the Order at the time had saved him as a young boy, being raised by the Order like you were. For five decades he gave his life for the order and for the safety of mankind. Now, he guided others to do the same, just like he was guiding you at that moment. You sighed and with slow steady hands, you grabbed the case and held it close to you.

“I won’t fail you, father.” You said with much as much conviction as you could muster.

“I know you won’t. Now come, we must prepare for your mission.”

Please like, share, comment and follow for more!

French translation:

C’est incroyable, pere!: This is Amazing, father!

Tu me laches!” : Let me go!

!C’est un connard!”: “He’s an Asshole!”

Je suis de’sole’, pere: “I’m Sorry, Father”

Chapter: 4

Taglist: @clairealeehelsing @haileycannotcometothephonern @bruher @deans-spinster-witch @lulu-reads @sandlee44 @holylulusworld

[thehotelpod]

DOUBLE STUFF OCTOBER IS ALMOST OVER LETS TALK HOTEL EN ESPAÑOL

All the way back way back when we were just doing Theatre of Tomorrow I had a dream of doing our show in Spanish. Our resources, skill level, experience, and the complexity of ToT made that dream so out of reach it was just something fun to talk about.

"What if!"

Well when I decided to join Bloody Disgusting, I knew with the resources, experience, and the simplicity of the Hotel's production that maybe, just maybe, we could pull it off. And I was sure this show would sound fucking incredible in Spanish. It's a perfect fit.

I'll spare you the boring and gory corporate details (it's mostly me in emails, phone calls, and video meetings explaining, arguing, fussing, and doing my best not to swear for months and months) but when the dust settled and the clouds parted out stepped-

Guillermo Ruiz de Santiago. A hero.

Memo is the Veronica in Mexico. He produces, runs the socials, figures out translation, and does all the casting. (I was involved, I heard the auditions and stuff but the buck stops with Memo.) None of this happens without him, and he understood the project and was very excited to bring it to the Spanish speaking audiences everywhere.

I am blown away that this show exists. I can hardly believe my luck. It's everything I hoped it would be and more. It sounds incredible. Ginette Zavala, Alex Villalobos, and Edgar Cañas are wonderful as the Staff (and Alex and Memo recently got married!) and I am doing everything I can to get season 2 and 3 and on and on produced as well. We're almost at 10,000 downloads and listened to on three continents across 6 countries! Holy cow! is that right? yeah, okay wow.

If you haven't yet, listen to the first episode here (then listen to all the rest then tell a bunch of other people to do that too)

How bout that artwork? I knew for MMMMMMMMMMONTHS that I was going to reach out to @parasitic-saint to do the art for this. It did an incredible job with The Ranch postcard and of course I had commissioned some guest art based on some OTHER guest art it had already posted--look, the art speaks for itself:

I stared at this on my phone for the rest of the afternoon when I first got it. What can I say about it that your already faster beating heart can't tell you better? (but look at the line work on his tie!!!!)

Let's take a look at the rest!

(this one might be my favorite)

Now i reaaaaaalllly probably shouldn't post these high rez images here bc techincally they are Patron perks for our Hotel en español tier, but we only have one patron at that tier and she already has her stuff sooooo please...please look at these. Look how stunning these pieces are. I can't...I can't even do a commentary post like I did for Izzy's, my brain short circuits looking at these. The detail, the color, the angles. Oh my god. The folds?? In the poster??? immaculate. You can see we didn't have the official logo when it made the first few. They also all have title and episode number included because we had worked out a lot of the bugs already.

The dimension's it put in the pieces are incredible. You can almost reach your hand in and grab Botones.

Getting to hire Parasitic Saint as the official Hotel en español artist (and yes you will see more of Rat's art as we produce future seasons!!) is as exciting as getting to have the show at all.

It's a labor of love and I hope you all love it as much as I do.

[mjpro]

mjPRO | The Ultimate Procurement System for Reducing Costs and Enhancing Efficiency

In today’s fast-paced digital world, businesses are looking for tools that can streamline their processes, enhance efficiency, and minimize costs. Procurement, a critical function for every organization, is no exception. Choosing the right procurement software can make all the difference in managing supply chains effectively, improving governance, and cutting procurement costs. Among the numerous procurement software companies, mjPRO stands out as a robust, AI-powered solution that offers scalability, cost-efficiency, and enhanced profitability.

In this blog, we’ll explore the best features of mjPRO, why it’s considered the best procurement software, and how it supports businesses in managing procurement processes seamlessly.

What Is Procurement Software?

Before we dive into mjPRO, let’s first define procurement software. In simple terms, procurement software is a digital tool that automates and manages the entire procurement process—from requisitioning to payment. It helps organizations track their purchases, manage suppliers, and ensure compliance, reducing manual intervention and boosting overall efficiency. Today, eProcurement software solutions are often cloud-based, providing businesses with flexibility, scalability, and advanced data-driven insights.

Why mjPRO Is the Best Procurement Software

mjPRO is not just another procurement software; it’s a comprehensive eProcurement software platform that digitizes the entire procurement process from planning to payment. Whether you’re managing simple purchases or complex projects, mjPRO provides a unified solution that reduces procurement costs, enhances supplier management, and ensures near 100% delivery compliance. Here's why mjPRO is considered one of the top procurement software solutions in the market:

1. Cloud-Based, Pay-Per-Use Model

One of the most attractive features of mjPRO is its pay-per-use, cloud-based model. Unlike traditional procurement systems that require significant upfront investment and infrastructure, mjPRO offers a flexible, cloud-based solution that allows for scalability based on your business needs. This ensures a faster ROI and eliminates the need for costly hardware or software upgrades.

2. Intelligent Platform with AI-Powered Automation

At its core, mjPRO is an intelligent procurement platform powered by AI. It leverages advanced technologies like AI and NLP-based analytics to offer real-time insights, such as category and supplier recommendations. By learning from your procurement patterns and suggesting suppliers based on past purchasing behavior, mjPRO takes the guesswork out of sourcing, making it the best procurement software for both small and large enterprises.

3. Strong Supplier Base and Smart Decision-Making Tools

With mjPRO, you’ll have access to an ever-growing supplier base. The platform continuously adds new suppliers to the ecosystem, giving businesses more options and competitive pricing. What’s more, mjPRO integrates AI-based decision-making tools to provide real-time supplier recommendations, enabling procurement teams to make informed decisions quickly.

4. End-to-End Procurement Chain Digitization

mjPRO digitizes the entire procurement chain, from planning to payment, making it one of the top procurement software platforms available today. Let’s break down how mjPRO handles each step of the procurement process:

a. Plan

The planning phase is critical to ensuring the procurement process runs smoothly. mjPRO helps streamline this process by allowing users to categorize items up to four levels, aggregate or split requirements, and manage budgets more effectively. With features like eBriefcase and category-specific insights, businesses can easily plan for both routine and complex procurements.

b. Source

Supplier management is one of the most challenging aspects of procurement. mjPRO excels in this area by offering a comprehensive supplier management module. The system helps businesses survey, rate, and profile suppliers before they are approved. mjPRO also automates RFQs (Request for Quotations) and integrates RPA-based bidding, which enhances supplier negotiations and ensures competitive pricing.

c. Procure

Once suppliers have been approved, mjPRO facilitates the creation and management of purchase orders (POs). The platform automates the post-PO process by handling tasks such as PO acceptance, ASN (Advanced Shipping Notice) generation, PI (Proforma Invoice) approval, and eCatalogues management. This automation reduces the risk of human error and accelerates procurement times by as much as 40%.

d. Pay

Finally, mjPRO ensures that payment processing is seamless. The platform performs thorough three-point checks before invoice approval and integrates with payment gateways to automate payments. The result is a faster, more efficient payment process that ensures suppliers are paid on time, minimizing disruptions in the supply chain.

How mjPRO Benefits Your Business

Now that we’ve covered the key features of mjPRO, let’s take a look at how this procurement software can benefit your business:

1. Reduces Procurement Costs by 7%

Procurement costs can take up a significant portion of a company’s budget. By using mjPRO, businesses can reduce these costs by up to 7%. This is achieved through better supplier negotiations, automated procurement processes, and more efficient resource management.

2. Makes Procurement 40% Faster

One of the most compelling advantages of mjPRO is its ability to speed up the procurement process. The platform reduces manual tasks and automates the creation and management of POs, invoices, and supplier communications, making procurement up to 40% faster. This is a game-changer for businesses that operate in fast-paced environments and need to meet tight deadlines.

3. Limits Supply Risk with 100% Delivery Compliance

Supply chain disruptions can have serious consequences for businesses. mjPRO mitigates these risks by ensuring nearly 100% delivery compliance. With advanced supplier profiling, automated RFQs, and integrated payment gateways, mjPRO ensures that your supply chain operates smoothly and without delays.

4. Strengthens Governance and Ensures Zero Frauds

In the digital age, governance and compliance are more important than ever. mjPRO strengthens governance across the procurement process by offering real-time insights into supplier performance and ensuring that all procurement activities are auditable. This procurement software also helps prevent fraud by enforcing strict supplier approval and payment processes.

Unlock the Full Potential of eProcurement with mjPRO

If you're searching for a procurement software company that offers a comprehensive, scalable solution for your business, look no further than mjPRO. This eProcurement software not only digitizes the entire procurement process but also enhances it with AI-powered tools, robust supplier management, and seamless payment integration.

With mjPRO, businesses can gain full control over their procurement activities while reducing costs, accelerating procurement timelines, and ensuring compliance across the board.

Key Features of mjPRO:

Pay-Per-Use Cloud-Based Solution: Achieve faster ROI without heavy investment.

AI-Powered Automation: Make data-driven decisions with category and supplier recommendations.

Strong Supplier Base: Access to a continuously growing supplier network.

Comprehensive Digitization: Manage everything from planning to payment on one platform.

Faster Procurement: Reduce procurement times by 40% through automation.

Enhanced Governance: Ensure zero frauds and full compliance with real-time monitoring.

If you're ready to take your procurement processes to the next level, mjPRO is the best procurement software for businesses of all sizes. Contact us today to learn more and unlock the full potential of eProcurement software for your organization!

[sonneillonv]

@reucrion and @sonneillonv are proud to launch our Patreon! We are working on the first of our Tourist's Guide projects, which will be supplements exploring different realms in the gaming multiverse. Join to get project updates, free content, assets, and merch reviews, as well as access to a brand new serial by Sonneillon V!

Descent Into Avernus Do you enjoy Lets Plays? Would you like to explore the story behind game modules without actually having to play through them? Or maybe you don't have a consistent D&D group, but you still want a chance to experience the twists and turns of established in-universe stories. As a special bonus, even the lowest subscription tier can enjoy a serialized fic based on the popular D&D 5e Module "Descent Into Avernus", updated 2x monthly. Read a sample below!

(Refuge, Undersigil)

The deep, bass pounding of the drums shook the walls and floor. Ceiling too, if the intermittent rain of mortar was any indication. It rattled Hyx's organs, demanded his heart take on the beat, which was exactly how he liked it. The orcs in The Well were doing something really interesting with carefully pitched industrial grinding noises they made with rusted machine parts, chanting in dissonant harmony with the groaning cry of the war horn their tattooed tanarukk lead was blowing.

 The other patrons seemed to like it as much as he did, crashing their bodies together on the cracked, silt-stained dance floor and crowding around the bar, a collection of salvage lashed together with hemp cord and nails, propped against a stack of re-used barrels. The drinks were swill, clouded with sediment, but they flowed fast and free, and they were strong enough to ignore the taste most of the time. Hyx was good with the trade - no one in The Refuge would expect better - but he wasn't a noob. He was alternating. The thirst that propelled him from the crowd, weaving between bodies in the wild strobe of colored magical light, demanded water.

Fiends were immune or resistant to a lot of things that hurt mortals, but suffering for one's excesses was half the purpose of hell, so hangovers weren't on the list.

The water was warm and the dented tin mug made it taste metallic, but it was clean enough. He guzzled it and considered stepping outside for a piss, extracting himself from the bar crowd and shifting toward the entrance so he could puff his feathers and get some air on his skin. As a result, he was standing in easy view when a three-tailed celestial fox demon with long, white hair pushed past the crowd at the door. Hyx ground his teeth on a sigh and made a token effort to look for an escape route, but he wasn't fast enough.

Siblings were another form of suffering fiends were allowed, nay, encouraged to experience.

Xien strode in his direction, eyes burning white in the darkness between strobes. His expression was anger, exasperation, concern... different colors highlighted different emotions. It would have been fascinating if Hyx hadn't been busy bracing for impact.

He opened with, "It's 2am," and Hyx scoffed because he never understood why normies bothered pointing that out to people like him. If he was out partying until 2am, it was clearly because he didn't give two shits.

"I know," he shouted over the music, favoring his brother with a toothy smile. "You're just in time -  party just hit its stride!"

Exasperation took center stage. Xien knew when he was being annoying on purpose. "We have an early check-out."

"I'll sleep on the trip."

"You'll be hungover and puking on the trip," Xien shot back. "Come back to the inn and get it out of your system so I don't have to smell it all day."

Hyx grinned. "You're not going to fix it? Disrespectful. Am I not your favorite anymore?" He hooked an arm around Xien-di's neck and bonked their horns together clumsily, swaying a little. "Didi, breaking my heart. Respect your elders."

"Gege," Xien said as patiently as he could while shouting to be heard, "Don't just assume I'll restore you if you get excessively fucked up. That kind of spell takes effort, actually. Magic isn’t free."

"Of course it's not." He rolled his eyes and walked Xien over to a wall near the exit where it was a little easier to hear. "So what do you want?"

"You've had fun, you've gotten drunk, probably high. It's a good night, right?” Xien was clearly doing his best to sound reasonable. “So wrap it up, come back to the inn now, and when you start feeling like shit I'll restore you... as long as you go to bed, STAY in bed, and let ME sleep until you actually need help."

"You bargain like a fucking devil," Hyx sighed, but he couldn't help a lopsided smile.

"I bargain like I have two older brothers," Xien tossed back. "Agreed?"

He snorted and tugged one of A-Xien’s fluffy ears. "The little princess of Seven Springs Mountain doesn't get to talk. You should have grown up at Broken Stone, THEN you could bitch about siblings." But he extended his hand with an air of great affront, prepared to trade a few more hours of fun for a get-out-of-hangover-free card.

Then the floor dropped out from under them.

x-x-x

You see, once upon a time, there was a cistern.

In the beginning, there wasn't anything very remarkable about it. It was built of stone and rusting metal, a reservoir for rainwater and run-off from the streets above. It was dark and quiet and alone, except for the ever-growing collection of trash it accumulated as the water ebbed and flowed through it. A peaceful, forgotten place that caused no problems and earned no accolades. Well-behaved cisterns seldom make history.

One day, a creature came to dwell in its collected waters. Slimy and seditious, with grasping tentacles and rings of saw-like teeth, it nestled into the darkness under the streets and made its home there. It attracted no attention and bothered no one, because its focus was elsewhere - an entirely different world, far from the floating city that contained it, a true planet with mountains and seas and a molten core that spun it around its sun. In that world, the creature had enemies and it lusted for their destruction, plotting daily, weaving spells and wearing down the barriers between itself and its prize. After many years of effort, it made a tunnel that would allow it to prey on the people it hungered for and retreat back to its nest from any resistance, escaping across the worlds, across the planes, where no one would reach it. It thought itself very clever for this.

Unfortunately, monstrous behavior indicates the presence of a monster, and the presence of a monster attracts adventurers. The greatest plague in all the realms, relentlessly nosey do-gooders, incapable of minding their own business... the whole phenomenon of adventuring parties is roundly condemned by would-be tyrants everywhere. And sometimes they are versed in magic, though the creature would have considered them clumsy as children compared to itself, limited in their minds, incapable of even rudimentary telepathy and limited to communicating via disgusting sounds they made with their actual MOUTHS. They hammered at the Weave like a child hammers at a toy lute, but they hit the right notes and the creature found itself cut off from its retreat.

All its plans collapsed quickly after that.

But even as its cartilaginous mouth with its rings of serrated teeth was mounted, hung in the halls of its killers as a trophy, the tunnel remained. With no living creature to maintain it, it anchored itself to those teeth, yawning wide enough to swallow a man whole. Then it went to sleep.

Time passed.

The forgotten cistern was truly forgotten. The waterworks of the floating city changed: new cisterns were dug and old, crumbling ones closed off. All paths leading to our subject were closed, and over time the water drained away and left only the refuse.

Decades later, someone exploring the depths of the floating city broke through a crumbling wall and found a vast space full of gently-rotting trash. Then another wall was broken through, and another, as the desperate dwellers in the dark searched for the resources to prolong their miserable lives. The former cistern became a place where the poor and suffering gathered. They dug for valuables, traded them, and eventually dumped their own trash so the next seeker could rifle through it.

The large, round hole in the ceiling didn't concern any of them. No one had reason to explore it, and even if they had, the tunnel was sleeping.

Because it was hidden and secure, the cistern became a place to trade not only garbage, but also information. Soon there was a goblin spit-roasting rats for barter. Then an enterprising wight began rolling barrels of his hobby wine down on alternate days and making deals for a stiff drink.

They called it Refuse at first, painting the letters over the entrances in used whitewash. Then, after a raid on Undersigil, someone messily painted over the 's' with a mismatched 'g' and it became Refuge. Availability of food and alcohol expanded. Locals gathered to make music together in street-corner bands, attracting others. Regular vendors pooled resources to have magic lights installed. Foot traffic swelled. Refuge became a place, not just to find things, but to lose them - inhibitions, memories, responsibilities, cares. It was elysium. As long as you kept the peace, nobody cared who you were. Living refuse, drifting into the cistern and settling in to stay.

Still, the tunnel slept.

Worlds away, there was a catastrophe. 

As it happens, the creature that had once resided in the cistern died not far from a tavern called Two Black Antlers, and its jaw was now displayed there amidst the remains of a dozen other monsters as an adventuring trophy. That tavern and its surroundings were being pulled across planar boundaries. Spikes were driven deep into the earth, chains rattling from Faerun to Avernus, reeling and ratcheting an entire city down to Hell. Dragged with it, the tunnel awoke screaming in the language of time and space and magic. It twisted, tearing, shrieking as the delicate threads of sympathy began to snap. But in the moment before it shattered forever, the tunnel opened and a portal bloomed between that old, crumbling cistern and a tavern sinking into Avernus. The ancient mortar gave - floors, ceiling, and walls all shattered. Screaming patrons and debris spun through the hole between worlds as if the dead aboleth itself exhaled them into Avernus, a last predatory act.

Then the portal shattered. The connection between planes dissolved into the nothingness between, and the place where the cistern had been was deathly quiet.

Casualty reports would change continually over the next few weeks as investigators in Faerun tried to tally the number of missing from the once-resplendent city of Elturel. Eventually the figure would crest 15,000.

The 73 victims from Undersigil went unmarked. No one even knew to look for them.

Like the rain trickling down the culverts of Sigil, they had disappeared into the dark.

[monisha1199]

Elevate Your Career With AWS: A In-depth Guide to Becoming an AWS Expert

In the fast-paced and ever-evolving realm of modern technology, proficiency in Amazon Web Services (AWS) has emerged as an invaluable asset, a passport to the boundless opportunities of the digital age. AWS, the colossal titan of cloud computing, offers an extensive array of services that have revolutionized the way businesses operate, innovate, and scale in today's interconnected world. However, mastering AWS is not a mere task; it is a journey that calls for a structured approach, hands-on experience, and access to a treasure trove of reputable learning resources.

Welcome to the world of AWS mastery, where innovation knows no bounds, where your skills become the catalyst for transformative change. Your journey begins now, as we set sail into the horizon of AWS excellence, ready to explore the limitless possibilities that await in the cloud.

Step 1: Setting Sail - Sign Up for AWS

Your AWS voyage begins with a simple yet crucial step - signing up for an AWS account. Fortunately, AWS offers the Free Tier, a generous offering that grants limited free access to many AWS services for the first 12 months. This enables you to explore AWS, experiment with its services, and learn without incurring costs.

Step 2: Unveiling the Map - Official AWS Documentation

Before you embark on your AWS adventure, it's essential to understand the lay of the land. AWS provides extensive documentation for all its services. This documentation is a treasure of knowledge, offering insights into each service, its use cases, and comprehensive guides on how to configure and utilize them. It's a valuable resource that is regularly updated to keep you informed about the latest developments.

Step 3: Guided Tours - Online Courses and Tutorials

While solo exploration is commendable, guided tours can significantly enhance your learning experience. Enroll in online courses and tutorials offered by reputable platforms such as Coursera, Udemy, ACTE, or AWS Training and Certification. These courses often include video lectures, hands-on labs, and quizzes to reinforce your understanding. Consider specialized AWS training programs like those offered by ACTE Technologies, where expert-led courses can take your AWS skills to the next level.

Step 4: Raising the Flag - AWS Certification

Achieving AWS certification is akin to hoisting your flag of expertise in the AWS realm. AWS offers a range of certifications that validate your proficiency in specific AWS areas, including Solutions Architect, Developer, SysOps Administrator, and more. Preparing for these certifications provides in-depth knowledge, and there are study guides and practice exams available to aid your preparation.

Step 5: Hands-on Deck - Practical Experience

In the world of AWS, knowledge is best acquired through hands-on experience. Create AWS accounts designated for practice purposes, set up virtual machines (EC2 instances), configure storage (S3), and experiment with various AWS services. Building real projects is an effective way to solidify your understanding and showcase your skills.

Step 6: Navigating the AWS Console and CLI

As you progress, it's essential to be fluent in navigating AWS. Familiarize yourself with the AWS Management Console, a web-based interface for managing AWS resources. Additionally, learn to wield the AWS Command Line Interface (CLI), a powerful tool for scripting and automating tasks, giving you the agility to manage AWS resources efficiently.

Step 7: Joining the Crew - Community Engagement

Learning is often more enriching when you're part of a community. Join AWS-related forums and communities, such as the AWS subreddit and AWS Developer Forums. Engaging with others who are on their own AWS learning journeys can help you get answers to your questions, share experiences, and gain valuable insights.

Step 8: Gathering Wisdom - Blogs and YouTube Channels

Stay updated with the latest trends and insights in the AWS ecosystem by following AWS blogs and YouTube channels. These platforms provide tutorials, case studies, and deep dives into AWS services. Don't miss out on AWS re:Invent sessions, available on YouTube, which offer in-depth explorations of AWS services and solutions.

Step 9: Real-World Adventures - Projects

Application of your AWS knowledge to practical projects is where your skills truly shine. Whether it's setting up a website, creating a scalable application, or orchestrating a complex migration to AWS, hands-on experience is invaluable. Real-world projects not only demonstrate your capabilities but also prepare you for the challenges you might encounter in a professional setting.

Step 10: Staying on Course - Continuous Learning

The AWS landscape is ever-evolving, with new services and features being introduced regularly. Stay informed by following AWS news, subscribing to newsletters, and attending AWS events and webinars. Continuous learning is the compass that keeps you on course in the dynamic world of AWS.

Step 11: Guiding Lights - Mentorship

If possible, seek out a mentor with AWS experience. Mentorship provides valuable guidance and insights as you learn. Learning from someone who has navigated the AWS waters can accelerate your progress and help you avoid common pitfalls.

Mastering AWS is not a destination; it's a continuous journey. As you gain proficiency, you can delve into advanced topics and specialize in areas that align with your career goals. The key to mastering AWS lies in a combination of self-study, hands-on practice, and access to reliable learning resources.

In conclusion, ACTE Technologies emerges as a trusted provider of IT training and certification programs, including specialized AWS training. Their expert-led courses and comprehensive curriculum make them an excellent choice for those looking to enhance their AWS skills. Whether you aim to propel your career or embark on a thrilling journey into the world of cloud computing, ACTE Technologies can be your steadfast partner on the path to AWS expertise.

AWS isn't just a skill; it's a transformative force in the world of technology. It's the catalyst for innovation, scalability, and boundless possibilities. So, set sail on your AWS journey, armed with knowledge, practice, and the determination to conquer the cloud. The world of AWS awaits your exploration.

[silver-dragon-rider]

Stuck Together

Prologue 

( Hello! This is a JSE story I’ve started writing based off of an animation by @cakethefabulousart and a roleplay we’ve been doing. I’m hoping to continue writing and turning this into a bigger project than just one or two fics. I hope you enjoy! )

Word Count: 1,825

It was very early in the morning, the city still sleeping and the sun had not quite risen. The streets were mostly calm, not a soul in sight. It made an easy path for a figure to dart down the sidewalk, jumping from streetlight to streetlight as he ran. He could hear his labored breathing in his ears, feel every foot step that hit the pavement. "They're catching up, Anti!" A voice could be heard in his head, pulling a growl from the other. "I fucking know Chase!" He snapped out loud, dipping into an alleyway. "Then why aren't you running faster?!" The voice, Chase, retorted with a stressed hiss. A small group of people ran by, several of them armed, as the man covered his mouth to muffle his heavy breathing from all the running. Once the people passed and footsteps faded, after waiting for the coast to be absolutely clear, Anti moved his hand and hissed right back at Chase. "Your stupid body is out of shape!" There was a pause then, "Ok first of all, it's our body." Anti grumbled in frustration as he slid to the ground to take a break and catch his breath. He pulled his hood off, revealing black hair with the top part dyed an electric green. He has blue eyes, but the pupils were slittled like a snake or cat, and where the whites of his eyes were it was black instead, giving him a demonic appearance. After another moment of silence between the two, where Anti rested, Chase spoke up again. "Do you think it's safe now?" Anti sighed, pushing himself up and peeking out of the alley. He looked both ways down the street. "Looks like the coast is clear for now..but I doubt it's safe." He could feel Chase's fear and sadness at that, the rough reality being they'd been running from these people for a month now, and they had yet to give up. "Let's just focus on finding somewhere for the night." He said, starting to walk down the sidewalk. Chase didn't respond and Anti felt bad for snapping at him, speaking up to break the silence. "Hey, you think your apartment is free?" Chase snorted in response to Anti. "No, I don't think my old place is still free after I was gone for a year." There was a giggle to his tone and Anti smirked. "Well, it was worth a shot right?" "No, it's really not." Chase laughed and Anti felt a warmth that he was able to sheer the other up, even a little bit. They continued chatting to one another as the sun rose, looking for a place in the city to lay low.

It has been a year since Chase disappeared, a year today actually. Jackie had taken it pretty hard, and still didn't know why Anti decided to attack them that day, or how he managed to take Chase away. The memories played in the hero's head as if they had just happened as he sat on a rooftop, overlooking the city he protected. His leg dangled over the side and he sighed, going over what happened one more time. It had been a gloomy day, clouds in the sky looking like it might rain. Despite that him and Chase met up in an old skate park to hang out. Chase had been going through a lot with the divorce with Stacy, and Jackie wanted to cheer his best friend up. The two had a pretty chill afternoon, and everything was going fine until Anti showed up. He didn't know why the demon decided to attack that day. Maybe he thought Jackie was vulnerable with Chase there, maybe it was a coincidence. Jackie couldn't exactly ask him now.. In the scuffle between the two Anti took a cheap shot, glitching over to attack Chase while he was running away. Maybe Anti was hoping to cripple the hero by attacking his friend, but the demon didn't account for how strong Jackie's protective instincts would be. Jackie got in between them so fast you'd miss it if you blinked, and turned the knife on Anti with enough force it buried hilt deep in the demon's chest. Jackie didn't mean to hurt Anti, he just wanted to protect Chase! But it was too late after that..Anti had stumbled to his knees and Chase fell into the dirt. Jackie had been too shocked to move, and he cursed himself for it every day. Sparks had started to come off Anti, and before Jackie realized what was happening, static latched on to Chase. In the blink of an eye Chase was gone..and so was Anti. Jackie rubbed the tears from his eyes at the painful memories. He still didn't understand what even happened. Anti's body was left, he wouldn't have survived anyways, but Chase had just disappeared. Marvin said Anti probably latched on to Chase in a last ditch survival effort, and Jackie couldn't help but blame himself for that. The hero's melancholy thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. He glanced at it and sighed, it was Henrik again. He'd been trying to reach Jackie all day, probably worried about the hero. He decided to just answer it this time, putting the phone on speaker. "Hey Hen.." There was a relieved gasp from the phone, and Henriks thick German accent came over the phone. "Jackie! Are you ok? Vhy haven't you picked up..?" Jackie looked away from the phone, taking a moment to respond. "I was distracted..been thinking a lot today." "About vhat?" Jackie didn't respond to that question, Henrik knew. "It vasn't your fault Jackie." The hero sighed, shaking his head a little. "I'm just tired." Exhaustion was evident in his voice, the long year of searching weighing on him in more ways than one. "I know..it's going to be ok. Ve're here for you." Henrik said in what he hoped was a comforting way. Jackie was quiet for a moment. "Thanks Hen. I gotta go, I'll see you tonight." He grabbed the phone and hung up before Henrik could respond. He had spotted a petty crime and went to take care of it, focusing on work for the rest of the day. Late in the night a couple people were gathered at the skatepark. One wore a cardigan and glasses while the other had a noticeable cloak and cat mask. Henrik and Marvin were waiting for Jackie, Marvin sitting on a bench and Henrik standing nearby. It was Marvin's idea to meet up at the skatepark where Chase disappeared at the one year anniversary of the event. He hoped it would help ease Jackie, if only a little bit. The two were chatting idly when a figure in a red hoodie shuffled towards them. He had his head down and hood up, hiding his face from the others. Marvin waved and called him over and Henrik smiled, but the normally positive Jackie couldn't find it in himself to return their enthusiasm. He sat on the bench next to Marvin who put his arm around the hero, rubbing his back in a comforting way. “I brought some of his favorite snacks.” Marvin spoke up as he offered a bag of chips to Jackie. “Remember that one time he bought all of them off the shelf at the gas station?” He continued with a small chuckle, hoping to cheer Jackie up. Henrik chimed in that he remembered that, the two starting to talk about some of their positive memories with Chase. Jackie listened quietly to the conversation, commenting here and there but finding it difficult to get involved. They’d planned on trying to take this day and make it positive: talk about nice memories and do things Chase would have enjoyed. However, Jackie was having a hard time following through with the idea he found. Everything the others mentioned made him miss Chase more, and every bittersweet memory reminded him that he failed. He didn’t save Chase and he regretted it every day, no matter how long it had been. Not long into the conversation Jackie broke down crying. It had still managed to get dark in that time, street lights popping on and stars glittering overhead. “I don’t understand how you guys can sit here and talk about him like he’s not coming back!” Henrik and Marvin looked at each other with shared shock and confusion, Marvin speaking up in response. “Jackie..we’re not giving up. The opposite actually, we’re trying to keep motivation and spirits up..so we can keep looking.” He grabbed Jackie’s hand to get his full attention, the hero looking at him with a tear stained face. “I promise you we will never stop looking, and I know you won’t either.” He hugged Jackie who clung to him with soft sobs, Henrik joining the hug as the two comforted Jackie through the next couple hours. They hung out once Jackie had calmed down and watched the stars until the hero started yawning. “Looks like someone needs to head home.” It was Henrik who commented on Jackie’s tiredness, always the one looking after the other’s health. Jackie chuckled sheepishly as he stood up and stretched, smiling at his two friends. “I guess so. Thanks guys..for everything.” He genuinely smiled at them, a sight both of them had missed. “Go get some rest Jackie, you deserve it.” Marvin mentioned in a warm voice, watching the hero wave and walk away. He missed that smile, almost as much as he missed Chase. Henrik and Marvin talked a little longer before heading back to their respective homes for the night. Jackie was walking along the dark streets back towards the apartment he stayed in. He’d decided to take the long way home, having needed some time to think. He was thinking about what his friends had said while they were hanging out, about what happened when Chase disappeared. Maybe it was time to forgive himself, accept that there was nothing he could do to change what happened then. He had a lot of heavy thoughts on his mind, not quite hearing the hasty footsteps heading towards him. He wasn’t paying attention and neither was the other person it seemed, as they ran right into the hero knocking them both down. “Wha- ah!” Jackie looked up just in time to get run in to and fall over, shaking his head a bit then looking to see who had hit him. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention-” Jackie froze, the words getting caught in his throat as he stared. The person sitting on the ground across from him looked up, his hood having fallen away revealing familiar blue eyes. Jackie was staring at a ghost, the very person he’d been crying about all day. His missing best friend Chase had just bumped into him on the street and was now staring back at the hero. ( Thanks for reading! I’ll be working on the next chapter so stayed tuned for that! )

[haripriya2002]

My Journey with Azure IoT Hub: Connecting and Managing IoT Devices at Scale

The Internet of Things (IoT), which enables seamless connectivity and automation across numerous industries, has completely changed the way we engage with technology. I was curious to learn more about the Internet of Things and its possible uses as an aspiring IoT enthusiast. My experience using Azure IoT Hub, Microsoft’s cloud-based IoT platform, and how it assisted me in connecting and managing IoT devices at scale are both discussed in this blog.

Getting Started with Azure IoT Hub

To embark on my IoT journey, I began by understanding the fundamentals of Azure IoT Hub. Azure IoT Hub is a fully managed service that acts as a central hub for bi-directional communication between IoT devices and the cloud. It provides secure, reliable, and scalable connectivity for IoT solutions. Setting up an Azure IoT Hub was my first step. While the process was relatively straightforward, I encountered a few challenges along the way.

Connecting IoT Devices

Once Azure IoT Hub was set up, I delved into the world of IoT devices. I worked with various types of IoT devices, ranging from simple sensors to complex industrial machines. Connecting these devices to Azure IoT Hub required the implementation of device-specific protocols such as MQTT or HTTP. Additionally, I focused on securing device connections and data transmission by utilizing security features provided by Azure IoT Hub.

Real-world examples of IoT devices connected to Azure IoT Hub are aplenty. For instance, in the healthcare industry, wearable devices can transmit patient vitals to Azure IoT Hub, allowing healthcare providers to monitor and respond to critical situations promptly. In smart homes, IoT devices such as thermostats and security cameras can be connected to Azure IoT Hub, enabling remote control and monitoring capabilities.

Managing IoT Devices at Scale

As my IoT project grew, I encountered the need to scale up the number of connected devices. Azure IoT Hub offered robust device management features that simplified the process of managing a large fleet of devices. I could remotely monitor the health, status, and firmware version of each device, enabling efficient troubleshooting and maintenance. Implementing best practices for device management, such as grouping devices based on location or functionality, enhanced the overall operational efficiency of my IoT solution.

Data Ingestion and Processing

Data collected from IoT devices is a valuable asset that can drive actionable insights and informed decision-making. Azure IoT Hub facilitated the ingestion and routing of data to Azure services for further processing and analysis. I had the opportunity to work with Azure Stream Analytics and Azure Functions, which enabled real-time data processing, transformation, and visualization. Leveraging these services allowed me to unlock the true potential of IoT data and derive meaningful insights.

Security and Compliance

Any IoT solution must prioritize security. Azure IoT Hub provided robust security features that ensured end-to-end protection of IoT deployments. These features included device authentication, message encryption, and integration with Azure Active Directory for access control. Additionally, Azure IoT Hub helped me meet compliance and regulatory requirements by providing built-in support for industry standards such as ISO 27001, HIPAA, and GDPR. Throughout my journey, I learned valuable lessons and implemented best practices for securing IoT solutions.

Scalability and Performance

Scaling an IoT solution to handle thousands or millions of devices is a complex task. Azure IoT Hub offered scalability features that allowed me to effortlessly handle large-scale IoT deployments. With Azure IoT Hub’s device-to-cloud messaging capabilities, I could reliably transmit messages to and from a massive number of devices. Moreover, I gained insights into optimizing IoT solutions for performance by considering factors such as message size, frequency, and device capabilities.

Real-World Use Cases

To understand the versatility of Azure IoT Hub, it is crucial to explore real-world use cases. In the manufacturing industry, Azure IoT Hub can be leveraged to connect and monitor machines on the factory floor, ensuring optimal performance and predictive maintenance. In the agriculture sector, IoT devices connected to Azure IoT Hub can collect data on soil moisture levels, temperature, and humidity, enabling farmers to make data-driven decisions for irrigation and crop management. These use cases highlight the valuable role that Azure IoT Hub plays in various domains and industries.

Future of IoT and Azure IoT Hub

The future of IoT is promising, with emerging trends shaping the landscape. As IoT continues to evolve, Azure IoT Hub will play a crucial role in enabling seamless connectivity, advanced analytics, and artificial intelligence capabilities. Integration with other Azure services and continuous updates from Microsoft ensure that Azure IoT Hub remains at the forefront of IoT innovation. The possibilities for IoT applications are limitless, and Azure IoT Hub will continue to empower developers and organizations to build robust and scalable IoT solutions.

Throughout my journey with Azure IoT Hub, I gained valuable insights and experiences. Azure IoT Hub simplified the process of connecting and managing IoT devices, providing a reliable and scalable platform. The seamless integration with other Azure services allowed me to unlock the full potential of IoT data. Moreover, the security and compliance features provided peace of mind, ensuring that my IoT solution was protected from threats. Overall, Azure IoT Hub has been instrumental in my IoT journey, contributing to enhanced efficiency and productivity.

Recommendations and Tips

For those interested in starting their own IoT journey with Azure IoT Hub, I offer the following recommendations and tips:

Begin with a clear understanding of your IoT use case and requirements.

Familiarize yourself with the documentation and resources provided by Microsoft to gain a solid foundation.

Start small and gradually scale your IoT solution as needed.

Take advantage of the device management and security features offered by Azure IoT Hub.

Leverage other Azure services such as Azure Stream Analytics and Azure Functions to derive meaningful insights from IoT data.

Stay updated on emerging trends and best practices in the IoT space.

To deepen your knowledge of IoT and Azure IoT Hub, I recommend exploring Microsoft’s official documentation, participating in the ACTE Technologies Microsoft Azure training, and attending IoT-focused conferences and events.

Azure IoT Hub has proven to be a powerful and comprehensive platform for connecting and managing IoT devices at scale. Throughout my journey, I witnessed the transformative potential of IoT solutions and the crucial role played by Azure IoT Hub in enabling seamless connectivity, advanced analytics, and robust security. As IoT continues to evolve, Azure IoT Hub will undoubtedly remain at the forefront of IoT innovation, empowering organizations to build scalable and efficient IoT solutions. I encourage readers to embark on their own IoT journeys, leveraging the capabilities of Azure IoT Hub to unlock the full potential of IoT. Join me in embracing the future of IoT and revolutionizing industries through connected devices. Please leave your comments, stories, and inquiries in the space provided below. Let’s continue the conversation and explore the endless possibilities of IoT together.

[secretgamergirl]

The Entire Plot of Final Fantasy 14, with all the expansions, and some serious analysis of how good it actually is. (Part 8 - Post-Shadowbringers)

Last time, we covered Shadowbringers, the more or less universally agreed upon best expansion. Nicely self-contained, well-structured, focused, and not bogged down with any poorly done morally grey stuff. Bad news is, this interlude before the next expansion has a lot of stuff that’s bad and dumb and ill-fitting to the established setting, but at least there’s not a lot of it, and the exceptions are pretty great stuff.

First thing’s first, since everything is all perfect and settled here in the First, and you’re actually able to do so, unlike everyone else, everyone suggests you maybe slip back home to check on how things are going with the whole final war against the empire and all that. Estinein really stepped up to the plate as stupidly powerful protagonist putting out fires everywhere and popping back to talk with Tataru and Krile. He really recovered nicely from his whole previous life-quest wrapping up weird and being possessed and covers stuff pretty well. He has been hanging out with freaking redemption-arc-Gaius though, and he has good news and bad news about what’s up with the empire. The good news is, the whole plan to avert the everyone-gets-killed-by-biological-weapons future by taking pressure off the empire seems to have worked out. The bad news is they’re getting back into the weird giant robot approach. One of these is just a rebuilt Ultima Weapon that Estinein gets to deal with in a bit where you play as him in full ridiculous-dragon-powers mode, the rest of this you have to deal with in Werlyt, one of those new break-aways from the empire that isn’t important enough to bother putting on the map somewhere that isn’t covered in clouds. Cid’s there though, and wow has he been busy. Also it struck me earlier that the one and only time he got a new outfit back in Heavensward it came out really like, 1970s, heading to the disco?

Like remember Bones’ look from the first Star Trek movie?

We start out with the first new model, Ruby Weapon, and yeah, we’ve got a whole set of gemstones here. It looks pretty Evangelion. And then partway through the fight it gets... decidedly more Evangelion when in defeat the “oversoul” system in it activates and... it’s probably better to show than tell here. Skip to about 5:40 for the important bit.

But I guess I also have to explain what is hands down just the stupidest, most badly written sidequest chain in FF14. So... Gaius. The “creeping mendacity” guy. Big ol’ nazi, hates all us primitive savages, strong should rule the weak, main villain of the base game? We’re retconning that he has like 7 or so beloved au ra orphan children he raised to keep them safe from all the evils of growing up in the empire, and already that’s just a hard no from me. That absolutely goes completely against everything about his established character. But we’re running with that retcon. We’re also, for some reason, retconning that the one female general under him in the base game, who incidentally had this whole speech before you fight her about how obsessively in love with him she is, was one of these children. I have no idea WHY we’re retconning that, beyond this all being just the worst, it adds nothing to this dumb thing except one of these other kids is jealous or whatever.

Anyway because they all love their dad so very much, after he uh... defected from the empire to start killing Ascians as a whole thing, they all decided to follow in his footsteps with this whole Weapon project, making a whole bunch of giant robots, that they all pilot, and which have this whole “oversoul” thing built in which... A- completely overwrites the pilots mind with that of some bigshot imperial general or other (in this first case, Nael, the big bad of 1.0 who does not appear in the game as it stands AT ALL besides here, kind of, and in the Bahamut raid 98% of players just completely skip, followed by in no particular order Gaius himself, Zenos, and uh... ones that don’t really come up). Not satisfied with killing the pilot by completely overtaking their mind like that, it also kinda melts their body into goo to power it up. With Ruby this doesn’t quite work right and you get this cool back-splits-open-goo-girl thing but that’s a defect the rest just get a boring second phase. And their big plan is to use these suicide-robots that destroy their minds to take down the empire that has oppressed them for their whole lives and honor the new path their dad is on, after first proving their combat readiness by... trying to kill their dead, and also the resistance to the empire, but, mostly you. It’s kinda just the absolute worst plan ever?

Meanwhile Cid just got super bored having to sit things out for a whole expansion and decided to kill time by... also building a giant robot. Something something found it in some Allagan ruins, made some modifications. In particular it originally came with big rending claws and he modified it to hold a lightsaber because he’s just a big ol’ nerd like that. I want to state for the record that this is still completely stupid and we really probably shouldn’t have two giant robots swinging lightsabers at each other and activating forcefields while fighting over the ocean that were both built by random nerds in a world where people still use maps that are half covered in clouds and we had a whole big thing about impoverished rice farmers trying to scrape up enough resources to like, charge at some people with spears, but... you can go to the hanger Cid keeps it in and pose on its shoulder and my heart is not made of stone.

Sadly you only get to use this thing for literally one fight. It’s surprisingly hard too, you have this whole mode-shifting system where you can toggle a damage boost and a shield on and off that need careful managing and a big laser cannon that needs to be precisely aimed. After that it “took too much damage and needs repairs” although it is reconfigured later to fly around and provide a big platform to stand on while fighting another weapon.

Another baffling layer to all of this is the commander officially heading up the suicide robot division. He’s introduced in this cutscene where he’s just shot from the neck down getting all sweaty from doing pushups and gulping down a big glass of milk, and like... I can’t see any sort of world in which you introduce a character in this way if you aren’t trying to bait people into getting all horny for the sexy new villain, but every other time you see him he’s just... literally the Sewer King from that one episode of Batman? With the orphans?

I swear it’s an intentional reference. Right down to him also having a giant pile of orphans (on top of Gaius’ kids) he makes poke each other with hot brands when they misbehave. All he needs are the glasses. I feel like the sexy scene had to have been a tease at the end of one patch and then they radically shifted direction or something. So anyway all of these idiot children take turns getting in big robots and exploding themselves and you punch the robots, while this too cartoonish to be intimidatng jerk keeps whipping them and sacrificing random people to test more of this oversoul stuff. Eventually we’re down to just two kids left alive, and one of them has enough sense to sneak off and tell you she realizes that this really is just the stupidest plan anyone has ever had and wants you to intervene, but her brother’s already been dragged off to be turned into the core/brain of Diamond Weapon, which rather than having the combat data or whatever from some old general just has an idiot uh... mashed into goo with his brain preserved permanently stuck in the robot. Which is already what they were doing with all their pilots, and he doesn’t really have any particular combat expertise so, this is dumb.

Girl with a smidgen of sense has to get in the actual pilot seat though... and she does have the sense to remember that the whole point of this in theory was to get the best possible giant robot and start attacking the empire, so she tries to just gun down everyone in the lab, but they just cut the power while she’s charging her laser. Then they’re about to kill her but the Overmind, as opposed to oversoul system kicks in and Big Brother restarts the whole thing and gets her to safety. And then... still doesn’t attack the empire, despite this clearly being the last chance to do so. Instead we go right ahead with the standard boss fight. You win, Sewer King shows up to taunt you, Big Brother vaporizes him, and then, the path finally cleared to take his new death robot body and start smashing up the empire, the dream he and basically his whole family literally sacrificed their lives for, exactly according to the plan he personally came up with... does the whole “I can’t live like this, as a cool robot, please put me out of my misery.” So Gaius does, and then we just kinda... pretend this whole sidequest chain never happened and never bring it up again. Not even Cid’s giant robot which would really trivialize a lot of problems and is in full working order with cool upgrades at the end of this. You can go visit it in the hangar all you want, but, that’s it. Oh and your only reward for any of this is some guy makes a gunpla of every robot and you can decorate your house with them if you have one.

Once you’ve finished or completely ignored the stupidest sidequest chain ever, the biggest news from back home is that being in a coma for some unspecifed amount of time is kind of bad for you, and it might be worth maybe considering putting everyone’s souls back where they belong before their bodies die. As is everyone’s kinda just staying alive because Krile has given up sleep to spam heals. Having some actual time pressure, everyone does some brainstorming and realizes that hey, you can go back and forth all you want, and you drag your whole inventory along with you. Why not just like shove everyone’s soul into a magic crystal of some sort and keep them in your pocket? Ultimately this works, but there’s a few complications involved since everyone’s souls have been manifested as physical bodies for a few years eating snacks and such so they’re kind of heavy and none of you really knowing how to do any of this, but G’raha has an in with the local equivalent of Matoya, a nu mou named Beq Lugg (no offense to “Master Matoya” Y’shtola). There’s a whole lot of technobabble about needing to keep memories along with souls and special crystal vessels G’raha needs to infuse with his blood... and the slight hiccup that he kinda doesn’t have blood anymore being all crystalized but he makes due, and I don’t want to get into most of it, except it involves porxies.

I didn’t really have time to get into this, but on top of all the other flavors of fairy, there’s these things called porxies which are basically piglets with dumbo ears. There’s a random bit of background NPC frollicking where a pixie turns another pixie into one for fun, but mostly they’re familiars made by no mou out of clay. One does the whole nightmare eating tapir thing as part of the pixie tribe quests too. In this case though, the idea is to make a specialized one to suck out elemental imbalances from people, which will be of some use in getting everyone turned into a crystalized soul you will presumably take back home and... cram into the mouths of their unconscious bodies or something. This still takes most of this interlude to finish setting up though. The important point for now is that Beq Lugg mentors Alisaie in how to make her own specialized soul-cleansing porxie she names Angelo. And she’s a terrible sculptor.

As an added bonus, to test this, they try sucking some of the light taint out of some of the people in the slowly-dying-of-turning-into-a-monster-angel hospice, and specifically pull the emotionless kid who wandered out into the desert from that one cut scene I linked last time back from the brink enough to talk and mourn people some. Hey, Alisaie’s arc and a really horrific death scene get a nice payoff!

The next bit of major unfinished business before clearing out is dealing with Eulmore, because you kinda killed the guy who was in charge, and was personally providing food for everybody, and was keeping everyone in a magically induced chill malaise. They decided to make Chai-Nuzz, the middle-aged cat boy who hired Alphinaud to paint his surprisingly nice wife and then also oversaw the construction of the mountain sized golem that’s still quite visible anywhere nearby clutching that still-hovering mountain, and yeah, that seems like nice qualifications, but then he vanished. Turns out it’s not responsibility jitters though so much as knowing he’s not really qualified and looking for an advisor who is. He finds a former bureaucrat, who does the whole test of character thing, and you end up teaching him how to ambush a berserk talos or three so they can be disabled, repaired, and put to work as farming equipment. While you’re in the area you also dip back to the bottom of the ocean which kinda still has that big magic air bubble that’s still messing with the nice fish people, and help them out a bit with the problems that lead to, like their queen being ready to lay a huge clutch of eggs and having problems from not being submerged. Did you know what a birthing rope was? Because you bring her one.

The other thing going on in the vicinity of Eulmore is a couple of the local dwarves playing around with explosives and blowing a hole into Nier: Automata. This is the setup for our big party raid, and I have very mixed feelings. It’s a decidedly less elegant handling of a crossover than “would you like to help me research my new play, Final Fantasy Tactics?” in that we literally just have this whole absolutely huge crashed space station with like transforming fighter jets and city sized industrial robots from a decidedly more high tech game right on the other side of these silly dwarven mines. Plus we’re in a dimension that only exists because one god punched another really hard and that theoretically should only effect your home planet.

On the other hand, while it fits in really awkwardly for FF14, so far as I can tell this is weirdly well integrated into the canon of the Nier games? I still need to play the whole series, but I’ve picked up a bit from osmosis. The most interesting thing here is that while the actual major characters from Nier Automata are here, the first character we introduce is 2P. The palette inverted version of protagonist 2B who only exists because 2B was a crossover character in SoulCalibur 6 and the decided to get cute with the player 2 variation. And now we’re taking that sorta joke fighting game cameo-born character and actually fleshing her out a bit in this crossover with an MMO. I can’t really speak much on the plot past that because it’s really tied in with the source-game’s plot and I lack familiarity. Things do go pretty bad for this pair of dwarves making the discovery of these high tech android ruins though. There’s an air strike on their village that leaves it in ruins for the duration of all this, and personally end up dead and/or replaced by android duplicates and/or stuck in another dimension. Once you’ve wrapped the whole thing up though there’s this oddly drawn out prologue where you have this real-world weekly task of walking back through one of the now enemy-free dungeons seeking out items of interest for the dwarves to study as they rebuild, and get messages from one of the missing pair. After a month or two of these there’s a proper epilogue where the two lost dwarves find eachother and head off to... somewhere for a happy ending. It’s all a bit odd.

And of course mechanically it’s full of the sort of full-on bullet hell mechanics the Nier games are known for and an otherwise very noticeable difficulty spike from how these things tend to go, because the director of those games had a say in it. Also you get a replica of 2B’s outfit for your trouble and a good number of people are delighted that the leg piece is a thong that noticeably gives your character a bigger butt. That’s a thing.

Speaking of raids, the real big piece of unfinished business before you all really focus on going home is that Ryne has been feeling particularly ambitious and dragging her dad Thancred and what I’m still pretty sure is his dad’s on the downlow love interest I’m wary to commit to a pronoun for Urianger along to search the world spanning desert beyond the wall of life-destruction in this very Star Wars Landspeeder sort of vehicle, trying to find some sort of way to maybe fix most of the world being lifeless white sand, and they found... a thing, which they decide to call Eden.

It’s kinda like... half-spaceship, half- two semi-abstract angelic women fused together, and between the nerds you have looking into it, the general speculation is that way back a century or so ago when Ardbert and friends kinda defeated evil a little too hard, the big fancy final boss defeat light show with too much light element gave rise to this thing, which promptly started sucking all aether out of the planet, which just kinda glassed the place for the most part and caused all life to die with a few exceptions that became the first sin eaters. It’s mostly inert, besides the boss fight waiting when you step inside... which I probably shouldn’t downplay so much because I mean it gets one of these attacks.

But you smack that inner core down and then you have access to a nice little ship control room, and the surreal realization that nobody’s all that shocked because really between some of the stuff in Imperial bases, Ayz Lla, and Omega’s whole deal, this is far from the first time you’ve seen this sort of setup. Anyway Ryne figures since she has the whole Oracle of Light thing going from kinda absorbing the weird Minfilia/avatar of Hydaelyn deal she was possessed by for a good chunk of her life, she should be able to just kinda take control of the whole thing and maybe get it to spit all that aether back out. Once you get it airborne though you have this confusing fight where this goth disaster with the sort of extreme platform heels I’ve only seen in fetishy specialty stores shows up carried by a sin eater and starts casting spells on a weird time delay. She’s unconscious after, and when she wakes up she’s kind of a rude jerk but more important has really severe memory issues, and wants to just kinda hang out while you check this out because she doesn’t know why she’s there either.

She’s not super clear on her name either but the voice in her head that tells her to do things calls her Gaia. She slowly warms up over the course of things as troubled goth weirdos with mysterious pasts tend to do in this game, but mostly you’re still focused on getting all that aether out of the big weird pinata. In a moment that really suggests your character just should not be left without supervision from people more responsible than Thancred and Urianger, you come to the conclusion that the most efficient way to get crystalized aether properly dispersed back out into the world is for someone to summon a god and for you to kill it. Kinda seems like a terrible idea to introduce that concept into a world that doesn’t have it, but you’re good at killing them and Ryne’s got plot armor against the whole Tempering thing that leaves you mind controlled thanks to her whole deal, so you pick a god for each element, do your best to describe them to her, she summons them, you kill’em, and sure enough, a bit of the matching element spills back into the local environment each time.

The details of all the gods come out a bit wrong thanks to the telephone game, which is what justifies these as a new set of boss fights. Leviathan has two heads. Titan’s kind of a robot. You don’t really have a dark god on file so you go with the Cloud of Darkness who’s decidedly less green and more full-bodied. After the first couple you start getting real needlessly reckless about it. Ifrit and Garuda you summon at the same time because hey those were total speed bump fights, right? And of course when you’re describing Shiva Ryne gets all excited about the tragic romance angle and Ysayle doing the personal possession thing instead of a standard summon. So despite everything going fine she insists on doing it that way and gets way too into character and ends up with this mini-Hraesvelgr all entwined around her and freezes you so Gaia has to step up and smack her with a giant hammer to knock her out of it. Otherwise things go pretty well, but I really have to wonder how it is you describe Ramuh as this pretty human looking guy with a big beard or confusing lightning orb collection mechanics (all of these give you a dialog choice between describing their appearance and getting all 4th wall breaky about the fight mechanics) and then Ryne goes and summons this.

That’s not even close Ryne. That’s way too neat of a beard, and for the rest of this you seem to have just been thinking about that poster on the Avatar’s wall in the intro to Ultima 6. Teenagers and their horny furry-adjecent phases, I swear.

Absolutely terrible segue, but speaking of Ryne being horny, her and Gaia absolutely 100% start dating during all of this. It really kinda sneaks up on you because FF14 is terribly addicted to doing a plausible deniability will-they-or-won’t-they/is this just a one-sided crush thing every single time they go there, with the exception of one minor side quest in this expansion where you help some woman work out how to propose to her girlfriend, but they go all in here. They’re going on little coffee dates and Ryne makes a necklace out of a leftover magic ice crystal after the Shiva bit for Gaia to wear and stuff. It’s pretty darn cute and wholesome.

Obviously this is setting up a big tragic turn where the voice in Gaia’s head actually belongs to Eden, which is also actually an Ascian, kind of. See the last boss Aldbert and friends fought was this pair of Ascians who did the whole Dragon Ball/Steven Universe fusion deal, which I may have mentioned a couple others doing in Azys Lla or I might not have bothered because everything involving Ascians not called Emet-Selch is incredibly boring and forgetable. He killed’em too hard with some sort of light-overload thing. One of them died in the pretty standard way everyone does where you go to the great aether flow/lightstream for a bit then get reincarnated as some person, but the fused bodies of both of them turned into this weird Eden thing and the other’s soul has just been stuck in it all lonely and hopelessly romantic and looking for the other’s reincarnated self. This isn’t a longwinded way of saying “so turns out Gaia’s an Ascian” because like, technically the way this works is that literally everyone everywhere is and that’s not a big deal, the losers who suck just never died and have been around forever, and this one’s obsessed with Ryne’s new girlfriend.

So the final dungeon capping all this off is her getting absorbed in by her jerk past-life ex who’s systematically destroying all her memories of cute dates with Ryne kinda like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and you have to charge in there mounting a defense against big shimmery memories of like going to this one place with good coffee and chocolate chip cookies and defending it from memory trashing monsters, and her forgetting everything and then it coming back to her while she’s pondering why she has such a dorky necklace and Ryne’s screaming from across a void at her. It is absolute peak power-of-love-and-friendship JRPG BS and I am totally here for it. And then of course if the whole thing wasn’t already super gay we make it really overt by just having this little paradisical private grotto with a giant rainbow crystal in it at the end.

I am as usual skipping around a bit. There’s a mandatory break in the Eden stuff until just before the next expansion properly starts, so Thancred and Urianger are no longer around to see all the drama at the end, but I legitimately keep having to remind myself that anything else even happens in this interlude. Hildy and friends don’t actually show up despite the clear setup for it, as Covid lead to a bit of cut content. The only other things we really have to deal with are a dungeon that doesn’t really bother having a proper setup, wherein you go investigate something in the basement of the Crystal Tower and it turns out there’s a little mini version of Alexander down there, with Cid’s personal branding stamped all over it, followed by a recording of Biggs from the averted dark future talking about building it from what they learned studying the original in the hopes of avoiding this stuff. I don’t think we really needed an explanation for how G’raha went back in time along with going to another dimension, but it was bothering Emet-Selch since it’s not something Allagans ever worked out, so, quick closure on that. Also the music is very good and there’s some running gag about people dancing to it.

So that’s pretty fun. And yeah. That’s it. That’s the whole free patch interlude. Everyone goes off and says their goodbyes to all the people they’ve been hanging out with for the past several years and you wrangle them up to go home. Oh wait, right, right. There’s some dumb Ascian garbage first. And like, extra dumb at that.

So as part of your “let’s leave this place as nice as we can tour” you give a big public speech to set the record straight that Ardbert and friends were not in fact just a bunch of huge jerks who set off the apocalypse, but were good proper adventurers helping people and clearing their map of sidequests and all that, and everyone should stop using “warrior of light” to invoke like the worst possible person. And then Ardbert himself stands up out of the crowd to talk about how great you are too, and everyone cheers, and then you get a bit worried because wait, no, only you ever get to see him, and also you like permanently absorbed his soul into yours to cure the whole turning into a final boss disease thing. Having dealt with this before, everyone concludes that this is yet another instance of some Ascian jerk digging up someone’s corpse to run around in. Specifically Elidibus since he’s the only one who isn’t dead and got kicked out of running around in Zenos’ corpse.

He’s got this whole thing where like I get it, but it’s dumb, and it doesn’t actually go anywhere. Running with the assumption that you are in fact still the same protagonist from 1.0 who had a vision of this, or at least that you watched the original opening cutscene where it happens, you saw a big fire-y apocalyptic meteor shower, which triggered some sort of like ancient soul memory of one of those happening when the Ascians had their apocalypse that made them summon Zodiark way back when, and that in turn ignited your whole psychic Echo powers, and those let you pick up on Hydaelyn saying that whole “Hear, feel, think” thing from the start of the game, which according to this jerk she just kinda has running as a constant public broadcast to anyone who can pick it up, and they all get psychic visions and run around being level 1 adventurers from there on.

And he proves it by just running all around the First putting on illusiory meteor storm shows and giving huge swaths of the population the same call to adventure. Partially to taunt you about not really being all that special, and partially to get the ball rolling on that whole light overflow for the whole world deal. That part of it never really goes anywhere though. There’s also this thing about him having personally been the one to originally summon Zodiark all Shiva-style serving as his heart and it not making sense that he gets to be running around if so which... is a weird thing to even bring up when it just gets kinda lazily hand-waved away in the end. There’s also a bit with “lesser Ascians” who know the new body trick and on the team but are really kinda just otherwise normal human mooks are showing up everywhere that also goes nowhere.

Like I said, this patch wave suffered from some serious cut content thanks to Covid so they might have been planning more with this and never paid it off. As is, it’s just propaganda with this guy siccing would-be hero types on you and summoning some in from other dimensions and such. It would potentially be neat if the “in this world the forces of light are bad so you have to play villain” thing were a theme Shadowbringers actually committed to in a real way, as is it’s just kinda dumb and pointless. Like everything with Ascians. It does however cap off with my favorite sort of dungeon, where you have to just kinda book it with the help of some weird magic shortcuts through every overworld map to get from Eulmore to the Crystarium to hole up, and while you’re running and getting attacked from all angles, like literally every single friend you’ve made over the course of the expansion shows up to fend off big waves of mooks so you don’t lose your momentum. There was one of these setting up Shadowbringers too, and there’s ANOTHER at the end of this patch set, but like, keep’em coming. I love these.

Then you fight what’shisface and he takes on the form of “the original Warrior of light” which is like, the depiction of the collective main character from FF1 as per Dissidia’s interpretation. And like the rest of this total BS because in the process of this whole plot arc you basically work out that the Ascians had this whole fancy council called the Convocation of 14 (which has nothing to do with the 14 pieces the world was broken into or with the 12 gods plus the two Ascian gods, it’s just a number we keep using because it’s FF14), and basically the only member of it who didn’t suck was strongly implied to have been you, pre-shattering, AKA Azem, and Emet-Selch’s dead boyfriend’s accidentally made conscious ghost hands you the matching badge of office which is used from here out as the go-to hand wave for where you’re getting other party members from for boss fights where it wouldn’t make sense for anyone else to be there. Anyway you smack him around, he banishes you to the shadow realm, Emet-Selch’s ghost is hanging out and unbanishes you because aside from all the evil empire founding he really is a nice guy who likes you, G’raha pulls a weird trick kinda like Moenbryda to suck his soul out and trap it in the crystal tower itself, and then it’s finally time to head back.

Well, again, after everyone takes a goodbye tour. And people are starting to pass out because their bodies are dying from not having souls in them. But yeah, Y’shtola has to say goodbye to the cat man (as opposed to catboy) who she has clearly been either sleeping with for the past few years or waiting for to grow enough of a spine to offer her more than soup, Alphinaud has to say goodbye to his adopted catgirl mom, you have to go bring Ardbert’s old warrior of light crystal to his old amaro pal and let them know his soul’s just kinda in your body now, Alisae’s mourning her (girl?)friend who died horrifically and checking in on the kid she fixed with her porxie that she died to save, Urianger has books to pack and maybe some off-camera pixie thanking for helping work the whole trans thing out, and Thancred has to say goodbye to Ryne. That one sucks, since she’s kinda the whole party’s adopted daughter, but she doesn’t have a comatose body on the otherside to jam a soul in, and she’s got her new goth disaster girlfriend to spoil, so, she’ll be fine.

G’raha’s in kind of a weird spot because he’s totally coming with you but his physical body is here, and also he’s kinda been pushing himself too hard with various big heroic sacrifice things and is kind of like 90% crystal 10% super old cat boy now. But, he’s got a crazy idea about how TECHNICALLY he totally does have a body back there. His past self, still in that version of the tower, not having gone through the whole dark future he averted by forcing you to take a break, and he’s pretty sure he can just kinda crystalize himself, you pass that off to young him, they just kinda merge since they’re the same person and have the same memories up until the point you do that, and tada, just a normal 20 something catboy with however many hundreds of years of extra memories. Which works out just fine somehow.

Back home there’s a big ol’ teary reunion with the two ultra short Scions who didn’t get to come along, and Tataru is nice enough to sew up recreations of everyone’s cool new goth phase looks and host a  tea party, during which Alisaie is talking to Alphinaud and frankly just breaks the 4th wall to gripe about how everyone else gets cool new outfits and class changes and they’re still looking like they have since Heavensward, to which Alphinaud says they’ll get their turn and the rest needed it more. Which is totally referencing how they were still all using their release models before this expansion whichwere a few years out of date posability wise.

We’re still not quite done though! Gotta set things up for the next expansion after all. So getting right back into that, when last we checked on the empire outside of visions of doom from G’raha’s now averted timeline, Zenos had come back from the dead in a pretty convoluted way, and killed the emperor. Which WOULD make him the new emperor except you know that’s a pretty huge crime and also not even a country full of nazis are stupid enough to want this guy in charge. Hell, he doesn’t even want to be in charge. He just killed his father because if he didn’t he’d just go poison the whole population and kill a bunch of people without any big climactic duels, most importantly with you. Instead they’re just kinda having a civil war now while he hangs out in the throneroom as an official enemy of the state after killing everyone who tried to take him out before someone had the idea to just legislate that hey, none of us our with this guy.

Also hanging out in there is the hands down worst villain ever in the whole game, another Ascian, which doesn’t make sense because by my count they’re all dead. He’s just one of those “lesser” ones though, where someone found the reincarnated version of someone on their big evil council, taught him annoying immortality tricks, and gave him the badge of office. Since then he’s gone and found the single-most punchable face in the world to wear, that of Yatsuyu’s somehow even worse brother, with the whole dumb fake peace treaty plan. He’s very theatrical and dancing around and talking about his big evil plan and Zenos basically just tells him “hey do whatever the hell you want as long as it ends with me getting to have another date/duel with the protagonist,” and goes back to watching the empire just kinda burn down in a really devastating civil war.

Meanwhile Alisaie has the bright idea that if her magical big-eared suck-pig (which she named Angelo if I didn’t mention it, games past the SNES get only the weirdest name drops) can cure being on one’s way to turning into a sin eater, maybe with some tweaking it can also fix the whole Tempering thing. So, quick field trip to Azys Lla with G’raha so he can use his bloodline security clearance to get info on what they worked out on this, and short verson yeah. The info dump is on a failing hard drive so they need to get Cid to help fix it, but it’s the same principle, should work on anyone who’s not like, turned into a horrible fish-monster levels of god corrupted. Only problem is setting up the porxie with the right magic tricks is pretty time and magic consuming. Alisaie basically runs to make a test case of that traumatized to hell kobold kid who like I keep saying is the core of her whole character and yeah, pulls him back to just normal, functioning levels of traumatized. Also he’s voice acted and it’s not just shrieking sounds like in the kobold tribe quests and it bugs me.

So, cool. We have worked out a cure for religion. Only problem is scale. Quick visit to Matoya to pick her brain on that. She’s both flattered and really annoyed to find out that Y’shtola’s been impersonating her, and that frankly nobody ever comes to visit her when they don’t need a favor, but she has the bright idea to just make one giant horrible “mother porxie” that constantly spits out pre-templated ones that just need a competent magic user to de-religion anyone who isn’t too far gone. She has a super whimsical giant golem kiln in one of her many ridiculous back rooms, you just have to smack around some elementals and hop on buttons to get it working, fight a berserk giant flying pig with a little crown, and you’re good.

Anyway, hey! You know who we haven’t really checked in on since literally before the start of Heavensward when there was that awkward incident at the party, other than the peace talks with the emperor which went badly? Merlwyb, the admiral of Limsa Lominsa and first likeable character in the game! Since the problem of the big nazi empire is kinda resolving itself, she’s been turning her attention to the other big consistent narrative theme, and looking to solve racism. Or at least to get a formal treaty going with the local kobolds and sahaguin. This isn’t going over with a bigshot pirate captain (’s second in command running things while he’s sick), who kinda thinks it’s total BS that they’re this whole pirate nation and they’ve kinda stopped killing people and taking their stuff entirely, and has been particularly avid on screwing with monster folk because see they’re not really people, is his logic. Merlwyb has no patience for that, and just kinda goes, look, pirate rules, you don’t like how I run things, you challenge me to a duel, none of this sneaking around behind my back crap. Kid’s an idiot and accepts this, she shoots the gun out of his hand, the actual captain of his ship gets out of bed to ask hey what the hell about him being such an idiot and apologize.

Then right after that, she’s like, right, cool, now we have all these stolen crystals from the other locals, and this religion cure, let’s make a peace offering of these, I’ll personally walk in with enough crystals they’ll definitely have a priest try and summon Titan to kill me, Alisaie does her thing, actual peace talk time. That’s pretty much how things play out, except, you know, he has a lot of reasons to hate humanity besides the whole religious zealotry thing. Merlwyb goes yeah, fair point. When we first settled here we totally made a peace agreement on how to share things and totally screwed you over in a colonialist fashion rather than stick to the spirit of it. Here’s the gun I used to kill my father, who signed that and later got turned by Leviathan, if it’ll sweaten the deal here, feel free to kill me with it. He doesn’t obviousl, and hey, peace achieved.

So Alisaie, for real, I think you owe the nice cool pirate lady an apology for implying she was a bloodthirsty racist way back with the faction picking speech commentary at the start of the game. Things broadly get patched up with the other four races off camera, but all this gets interrupted because there’s suddenly big ominous imperial looking towers all over the world. This bugs the heck out of me because up until now a huge deal has always been made about territorial control and transportation logistics and such and just teleporting big buildings in all over does not fly with that at all. Everyone goes to Ala Mhigo to talk about it because frankly they just have the nicest meeting hall out of anyone. Ul’dah’s might be close but the last big meeting everyone had there ended pretty badly. Anyway Fandaniel, whose name sucks almost as much as his personalty and his plan, shows up with “Lunar Bahamut” because you can’t be a terrible villain without recycling better ideas, and explains his terrible plan. Roughly, “I don’t care about that whole restoring the world thing the proper Ascians were all into, I wasn’t there for any of that. I just want to kill everyone in the world and then myself.” SUCH a downgrade after this last expansion. Hell he’s a downgrade from freaking Lahabrea.

Anyway Thancred shows up for the after-meeting meeting at Scion HQ to share our other reveal. What’s up with the towers is the new unbearable jerk here worked out a plan where the citizens of the empire started worshipping the empire itself as a god and did the summoning thing. Just, religion-ified hyper-nationalism. So on top of getting set on fire along with other horrible things thanks to a civil war, almost the whole population of the empire is now all zombie-like with religious compulsion, and the imperial palace is this sort of nightmare tower that I guess is just like popping out sub-towers all over the world, also putting out that worship us field.

So naturally, we have a small little strike force going in to check one of these towers out consisting of... not you for once! Rauban has access to Fordola who’s still all in on suicide missions to repent, and Arenvald who... I swear is totally an established character I just haven’t mentioned him. There’s a bunch of minor background people who hang out at Scion HQ, he’s one of them, he went off to have a more major role in Stormblood but doesn’t really do anything specifically worth calling out, has an interesting little backstory about his mom slicing his head open because he was maybe growing that “third eye” the imperials have, he just kinda randomly has the whole Echo thing because some people do, involved in a lot of Fordola stuff. Anyway they sneak in, set off an alarm, get jumped by “Lunar Ifrit” he’s stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. They do find out though that the towards have hundreds of people embedded in the walls just like in Bahamut’s prison to summon whichever god they worship constantly, on demand.

Time to run around a bit and gather info. Tiamat summoned actual Bahamut forever ago, so Estinein’s off to pay her a visit and see if she has any insight here. The Scions are looking for Estinein because... frankly he’s cool and it’s nice to keep him in the loop on these things. You bump into him, he’s all “wow you look so much more mature and manly Alphinaud!” ... to Alisaie. She has no clue but is mad about someone making a fake version of her dead boyfriend/god and wants to help but, you know, she summoned the actual one and reminds you she might just end up doing that again what with the whole Tempering thing. Tiamat’s weird like that. But, you know, we’ve got a cure for religion now. No more excuse for just standing around Azys Lla in the weird bondage gear, come help with stuff. Specifically that other cool all-your-friends-show-up-to-help dungeon I mentioned, when Fandaniel and his pathetic fake Bahamut are terrorizing the cool lizard people by Ul’dah. Kind of a speedbump fight, the whole “lunar” gods thing is just kinda here for a little boss filler without needing new designs really.

Anyway, the liberated lizard pals are now onboard, getting their religion cures distributed. Ditto for all the others. For real, Alisaie and Merlwyb just kinda ended religion and racism between them, everyone’s cool with everyone now. Unless you’re still grinding out those tribe quests, then there’s still jerks around I guess. You shouldn’t be though, best content in the game.

Krile figures hey, why don’t I go back to Nerd Town (aka Sharlayan, aka Old Sharlayan... the ruins from Heavensward were kind of an expansion site, they still have a turbo nerd college town off on an island) and ask the neutral-in-every-war scholarly jerks there if they maybe want to help because the empire really shouldn’t qualify as a side anymore when not taking sides, it’s just kind of hell on earth and full of zombies. OK I shouldn’t say zombies for this sort of thing because actual zombies are a thing and they’re actually all very nice and polite, but you know what I mean. Anyway, she’s taking off, and figure’s hey, seat’s open, let’s maybe officially make Estinein part of the team? Welcome aboard you super helpful idiot.

It’s seriously just boardroom meeting season. You have another one to officially welcome everyone who didn’t count as human to your grand old alliance and also formally quit it with that don’t count as human thing because really what the hell with that. Anyway I don’t think that meeting’s even over when Nerd Town sends a representative over to answer Krile’s inquiry formally. Turns out it’s the twins’ father, and he is just a gigantic asshole. His response is basically, “no, screw you, it’s not actually ‘the end of the world’ just because some jerk says he wants to kill everyone, and hey while I’m here, screw my father, he sucked, and screw my kids, you suck, and you know what, I’m officially disowning you when I get home.”

Krile calls on the phone after (I’ve mentioned that’s a thing right? Technically they’re called linkpearls and it’s like some kind of quantum entangled clam and pearl thing or something? In-game rationalization for chat functionality that gets used pretty constantly in the plot to just... make phone calls, rings and everything). Anyway she says everyone in Nerd Town’s hiding something, ASAP people should come check it out. First though we need to have a proper gameplay endcap. The deal with the towers is they’re sucking all the aether out of the world to redirect it somewhere (turns out the moon, eventually, which I don’t think the characters really clue into until a bit later, but we get villain cutaways, but it needs storing somewhere first). Anyway, we have a big showdown in Carteneau, which is where the big end of 1.0 battle was happening when the apocalypse happened and I think is where the PvP stuff nobody cares about happens and I couldn’t point it out to you on a map to save my life. Between Thanalan (country Ul’dah’s the capital of) and Mor Dhona apparently, as I check a wiki. Anyway, big ol’ fight against all these lame Lunar gods with the whole party, and by that I mean control actually rotates around and you play as if not all I think at least most of your NPC pals for different bits.

We get a cutaway to Fandaniel doing the whole evil advisor thing, “oh they’ve stopped us from gathering party there, we’ll just have to redirect to an area we still control, heh heh heh” sort of crap but... honestly Zenos doesn’t actually care in the slightest what this guy does, it’s not his evil plan, he’s literally JUST here to kill/bang/be-killed-by you and has kinda just spent this whole patch series looking through his pile of absurd weapons for one that seems cool enough to bring for the rematch, settling on a big ridiculous switchblade-y scythe.

Meanwhile, yeah, time to see what’s up in Nerd Town. Before leaving you get a weird vision/brief glimpse of some woman with one of those lame Ascian masks  all warning you you’re the only one who can stop the forthcoming apocalypse. But of course actually hopping the boat has to wait until next time.

Oof, I could have sworm MOST of this was in the next expansion proper, but this patch set really is just super heavy on foreshadowing the next expansion. I believe part of that is there was apparently some sort of writers room issues with the next expansion where basically, they had two ideas for what to do next, couldn’t decide which to do first, and kinda ended up just cramming both into a single expansion which among otherthings caused a BUNCH of setup to leak out over here.

I’m planning to finish this write up by the end of the month or close to it, hopefully people throw enough money at my Patreon that I can continue to survive past there. Meanwhile a couple quick last thoughts I probably should have squeezed in before now:

I don’t know if I mentioned this but all through Shadowbringers G’raha is constantly casting all the spells that were “grey magic” in FF6 (mute, float, invis, exit, etc.) which otherwise don’t exist in FF14, and I just think that’s a fun little gimmick to work in. Also I think I mentioned the bunny girl dancer that’s his captain of the guard? She’s not a super important character but there’s an interesting dynamic where she’s got a huge crush on him and is broken up about him leaving, but totally gets that she never had an actual chance, because he has a super obvious dorky crush on you to the point he’s oblivious.

Also, role quests. Shadowbringers had these instead of job quests. 4 for combat classes, 5 for crafters/gatherers. Pretty simple plot progression. The crafting ones are all about doing stuff around the Crystarium like helping the local vet and a girl who restores antiques, but then one has you help a cryptozoologist prove invisible brontosauruses are real, that’s kinda neat. The combat ones are all about the backstory for the rest of Ardbert’s old party. But there’s this whole thing where after you’ve done all of them, the woman running the bar who’s coordinating all the bountyhunters confesses to you in a pretty overly dramatic way that she was ALSO in Ardbert’s party, and before that she was one of the heroes in the Thirteenth, AKA The Void, or if you’re me just hell.

Turns out when things got screwed up there, the Ascians made basically the same deal with her they did with Ardbert. Hey, go to this other dimension, try and fix the cosmic balance by pushing things the other way. So she did and feels real bad about it. You forgive her because whatever, things worked out. But also, hey, she’s lonely, and while I think I forgot to mention it at the time, there’s also some kid who showed up back during that whole “Warriors of Darkness” setup who was also from the Thirteenth, doing the same sort of world hopping deal, who gives you a bunch of exposition on that. So you end up smuggling him over to the First in G’raha’s soul transfer crystal, presumably after rinsing it out first, they get to hang out. Nothing super important about this yet but I want to have mention of it here for sometime later.

Next up is Endwalker, which really sells itself here as being the actual ending of FF14′s story for real, flat out, and promises a trip to the moon.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Travel (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

7,500 Kilometers - demonphannie

Summary: 7,500 kilometers is a pretty large distance to bridge but Dan and Phil are trying. Or rather their cell phone connection is. It’s 2013 and Dan’s in India.

A Little Vitamin D (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Phil is surprised to find Dan in a rather inviting position on the outdoor patio of their beach villa on the coast of Australia. The couple enjoys semi-public sex in the sun.

A Piece Of You (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: When Dan travels to the English countryside to participate in the BBC’s Writer’s Retreat, he and Phil do everything that they can to stay connected, despite the miles between them.

This fic is based on the BBC’s Writer’s Retreat that Dan attended in May 2019.

A Promise for Forever (ao3) - phandomghostwriter

Summary: Dan had been eying a Cartier love ring, almost purchasing it for himself multiple times. Phil finally decides to purchase the ring for him, but not without pulling in a few favors, and almost spoiling the surprise. He decides to finally give Dan the ring on Stadbrook Island in Australia.

baby, it's cold outside (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan is traveling to his parent’s house for Christmas. There’s a blizzard expected to hit just as Dan’s leaving, but Dan doesn’t think anything of it, not until his car breaks down and he’s stranded. Kind stranger Phil steps in and offers to help Dan.

Bathroom Key (ao3) - LetterJumble

Summary: Dan and Phil are well into their great American leg of The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire! Except that they forgot traveling on a tour bus with other people means traveling on a tour bus with other people. All the time.

They also forgot that even the smallest of towns can hold fans.

coast to coast (ao3) - lilactreesinwinter

Summary: Dan is on tour and doesn't check his phone.

crashing on the highways of my dreams (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan has a dream about Phil while on his tour bus.

Exhale (ao3) - TortiTabby

Summary: Sam the Surfer shows up for a fourth time in Brazil and Dan isn’t in the right head space to deal with it.

Flying - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan suffers from travel sickness when flying but he normally takes tablets for it so he doesn’t get it, on a flight to Playlist Dan forgets to take his tablets but lies to Phil about forgetting to take them, he starts to feel nauseous on the plane but denies it when Phil asks him if he is okay, Dan then does get really sick and Phil helps him through it and comforts him, can it end with fluffy cuddles and Dan falling asleep.

Gate 32 - xinyanhowell

Summary: Eleven hours. London to LAX. Dan is traveling to the city of angels for a business trip and as it happens, so is Phil.

Giving Everything We Have (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: "We have a bus," Phil says.

Dan grins at him.

"Nerd," He says, fondly.

In which they have a tour bus for the US leg of TATINOF and Dan has a space in his bunk with Phil's name on it

Glimpses of Portugal - adorkablephil

Summary: Imagined moments from Dan and Phil’s trip to Portugal together in 2010

Got It (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan surprises his partner with a little stress relief while traveling on tour.

long-distance lads (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan worries that he’s going to miss Phil while on tour.

lovers, keep on the road you’re on (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Japan is one of their favourite places in the world. And this holiday might just be the best two weeks Phil's ever had.

(A fic about their 2019 Japan trip.)

Soft Speak with a Mean Streak (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil was a lonely film student; Dan was a mysterious new classmate he got stuck in with for a big project. It was only a matter of time and the right circumstances.

Up In The Clouds (ao3) - Emptylester (timelordangel)

Summary: On the flight from Australia to Hong Kong, Dan gets a bit anxious. Luckily, Phil is there to help calm him down.

Venice: City Of Dreams (ao3) - expiredlove

Summary: Dan and Phil are on holiday in Venice, Italy, with two of their best friends. They discover the city with their unprofessional tour guide Phil and end their day with a romantic stop at the Accademia Bridge, which is known for its so called love locks.

When in Doubt Try New Things (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil has a simple request for Dan: “I want to try something new. I need to figure some stuff out, but it has to be on my own, so I’m asking you to go with the flow and react in whichever way feels natural but don’t ask me about it. I have no answers yet.”

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 3: Art of Freezing the Moment

Narrated by William.

Narrator: As soon as we got home, I started drawing up plans to replicate some of these buildings in paper.

Susan: Paper craft? That sounds fun! I wanna help!

Narrator: This project is quite complicated. Every step requires patience and attention to detail.

Narrator: As for Susan’s offer to help...

William: Well... how about you help me make a few paper cranes?

William: We can hang them from the eaves. They will look like they are flying around the tower.

Susan: No problem! I can do that!

Narrator: When I am getting to a critical stage in the build...

Narrator: Susan runs towards my desk, excitedly waving around a crane she has made.

Susan: Will! Will! Look what I made!

Narrator: She plonks it down heavily on the table.

Narrator: The little kerosene lamp I had been using for light tips over.

Narrator: The flame quickly engulfs the nearly finished paper tower.

William: CAREFUL, SUSAN!!!

Narrator: I grab the fire extinguisher next to the desk and put it out.

Susan: Noooooo! I’m so sorry, Will...

Narrator: Staring at the still smouldering base of the tower, we get a vivid sense of what happened to those old Cloud Empire buildings.

Choose either “What a shame...” or “Fortunately, it didn’t start a fire.”

If “shame,” ...

You: Such a shame... All that hard work...

Narrator: Yeah, it’s very frustrating, but it has given me a better idea.

If “fire,” ...

You: Good thing you know how to use a fire extinguisher. It could have been a lot worse.

Narrator: It’s not that hard, once you know how... But this little accident has given me a better idea.

--

Choose “A better idea?”

You: A better idea?

Narrator: Yeah! We just need to use some fire-resistant materials, then we won’t have to worry.

Narrator: True to my word, I grab a bunch of reference books and develop a new plan.

William: We just need to coat the paper in a special material and it should be fine.

Narrator: I run some experiments to determine which material would be best.

Narrator: Susan watches me, from a distance of at least 2 meters.

William: Okay! Now we won’t have to worry about fire or water damage!

Susan: You really are a clever alchemist!

Narrator: We entered our “collaborative” project in the holiday craft exhibition.

Narrator: We show everyone the beauty of traditional Cloud Empire architecture.

Narrator: On that day, we stood beside our model and told everyone about our inspiration and our journey to Cloud Empire.

Student A: It’s pure Cloud Empire, baby!

Student B: And paper craft is a Cloud Empire thing, too, right? It looks cool!

Narrator: Our paper tower is still displayed in a cabinet inside the student lobby. Students walk past it every day.

Narrator: Cloud Empire inspires me in so many ways. Its paintings, designs, its alchemy...

Narrator: Next time, I’ll find a way to display its natural beauty.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

[enid-sinclair-is-dreamy]

Entry 5: Base to Enid, Come in Enid

Renifie Kilwith, new student at Nevermore Academy here writing another blog entry. To recap so far: (1) moved in to Nevermore and was awestruck by how dreamy a girl named Enid Sinclair is, (2) got an excited wave and smile from her, seeing her in passing, (3) confessed my ability/curse that always pushes everyone away before rumors could spread, (4) was surprised how much Nevermore is different and actually approached me more than I would have ever guessed, welcoming me and sharing their own fears, plus Enid talked to me a little while I was studying, but just a few words.

I have not seen Enid anywhere for the last few days. It's tough not seeing the dreamiest girl at Nevermore just not be there, and although I had not really had a whole lot of interaction with her before, going back to read old gossip posts she made on her own blog didn't really help. I'm telling myself I'm not in love with her; I mean, how could I be?

She's dreamy, sure, but I don't know her really well enough to fall in love with her. How much is enough, to fall in love with someone? I guess no one can make a rule for how much to apply onto others, and I would certainly like to know more about her, from her own say-so. I'd like to make my knowledge of Enid be more of information that came from her directly, than of information I just guess or figure out on my own. I can make up all kinds of what-if ideas in my head, how she might react if I said this or that, but all of those are just traits I am limited to imagining for, rather than really finding out. Would I instead actually be in love with that imaginary person who simply resembles Enid?

As more students (and some professors) have come to me to talk about their fears and telling me how glad they are I can keep a secret they want to confess, I have realized a lot of those fears tend to be big what-if events, and not of actual events.

What if I fail that test: would my parent not love me as much? What if I forget about one homework project due and destroy my chances of a perfect score: would that knock me out of the best choice of job I want in my future?

A lot of those things are fears about something we don't know yet, and to me I am not comfortable deciding that is an actual fear without experiencing it directly to know I really would be scared in that real situation -- I can want to fly away on a cloud of joy or melt into a puddle of bliss every time Enid catches my eye in the hallway, but I can't decide to call that love without finding out who Enid really is. Maybe I won't actually like her if I got to know her, but maybe I will, too.

When people shut me out so often in my other schools after knowing my secret, a lot of what I had left was just what-ifs to ask myself, and could only just guess. Now that other students are actually approaching me, I feel like I can do more than just guess, but actually really find out. Is my finding out just still a product of others around me, or is it me really stepping out?

I think the answer to that doesn't really matter; I do want to find out more about who Enid really is, instead of just guess. I know she's into Ajax, and I'm getting a sense she might be into Wednesday. Regardless, I am into Enid, right now. If I worry about it all day, then I will be paralyzed with fear and not act; but if I do act, then my feelings can be based on something that was real.

Enid, your cheerfulness and bubbly optimism is something I really admire, on top of how epic tier cute you are to me. I hope your absence around me lately isn't something I've done, and I want to pursue you, but from the angle of friendliness. Maybe we can help each other out, in some way.

I'll tell you what, Enid. Here's a question for you to answer for when I do meet you: How does the paint on your nails stay the right color when they go out long? Do you have to paint them when they're long, so that, when they go back short, it stays that color? Or do you use some kind of stretchy nail color that stretches out when the nails go long so you can paint them when they're not out?

-Renifie