#best photo editor computer

[pixelscutz]

quickie ( ken sato x reader )

warnings :: oral sex, (m ! receiving ),, missionary sex ( d into p ),, dirty talk, praising, etc etc. MDNI !

word count :: 1.2k

request from :: @gyusimp

You hum to the soft beat of the music playing through your headphones, as you move your mouse toward the large gap of space between the words and the photo. Instead of fixing the issue, your mouse slips away from your grasp and ends up falling to the ground abruptly.

“Fuck!” You mutter under your breath while quickly wheeling over to the mouse. As you grab it up from the ground you hear a deep voice from behind.

“You good?” A familiar voice says. You swish your head to find Kenji staring at you, seeming as if he’s trying his best not to laugh.

You roll your eyes and turn back towards the computer, “I’m fine.”

“Nice magazine. The dude on the cover is very good-looking.” How big is this dude’s ego?

“Tell that to him, not me. I’m just editing this big ass nose, it’s so ignorant.”

“So is the editor of the photo, imagine if the media found out his own girlfriend is talking like this.”

“Oh shove it up your ass, Sato.”

“Love you more.” He mutters while coming closer to put you into a chock holding hug. He wraps his sturdy arms around your neck and starts planning kisses on your head.

“Ow, ow, ow! Kenji! That hurts!” You say in between laughs. Kenji laughs softy while moving his mouth towards your cheek leaving a large wet kiss. “That’s gross,” as you push up your glasses “ugh.”

Kenji releases you from his grasp and turns your chair towards him. “Aw, now you're finally in a good mood. When are you gonna be done with this?”

“I don’t know, when is your nose going to get smaller?”

Kenji puts his lips into a tight seal. “Really?” He asks. You give a small laugh and shake your head.

“One hour, two tops.”

“One fucking hour?”

A deep sigh goes through your body. “What do you expect?”

“I don’t know, 20 minutes?”

“Funny.”  You hear Kenji groan loudly.

“Come on, y/n. What about a quickie?”

“A quickie for you is me almost fainting.”

Kenji smirks. “Is that how my body makes you feel?”

You scoff. “Shut up.”

“Only if I get to kiss you.”

“Fine.” You turn around from your chair and look towards Kenji. He gives a smile of victory and cups your face, and a soft kiss until he starts to use his tongue to explore your mouth. You feel his free hand grip your waist and start to travel towards your ass. All of a sudden you feel him pick up up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

“Kenji..” You groan. “I have so much work to do.”

“Forget it, quit your job and let me take care of you.” Why are you getting wet from one sentence?

After a while of typing away on the laptop, the synced clicks almost driving you insane you notice the sound of unforgettable footsteps stroll towards you. “It’s only been 5 minutes.”

“Come on, y/n. What about a quickie?”

“A quickie for you is me almost fainting.”

Kenji smirks. “Is that how my body makes you feel?”

You scoff. “Shut up.”

“Only if I get to kiss you.”

“Fine.” You turn around from your chair and look towards Kenji. He gives a smile of victory and cups your face, and a soft kiss until he starts to use his tongue to explore your mouth. You feel his free hand grip your waist and start to travel towards your ass. All of a sudden you feel him pick up up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

“Kenji..” You groan. “I have so much work to do.”

“Forget it, quit your job and let me take care of you.” Why are you getting wet over one sentence? Kenji walks towards the bedroom, shutting the door with one foot. He throws you onto the bed roughly and brings his lips back towards yours, his tongue fighting for dominance and clearly winning.

“Tell me you want me inside of you,” Kenji says in between kisses as he moves down towards the end of your jaw. You wince in pain as you feel him bite into your neck, making your entire body quiver. As he moves down your body he swiftly pulls your shirt over your head. He brings his tongue towards your hard nipple, circling it.

You arch your back, grabbing onto Kenji’s hard, as you hear him chuckle under his breath. You bring your hands towards his pants, desperately trying to take them off. Kenji shifts your hand away. “Ask.”

“Please?”

“Please what?” Is he really having fun doing this?”

“Please let me take off your fucking pants.” Kenji grins in approval and brings your hand back to his jeans, looking down at you as you unzip his jeans. You then see his dick twitch, as you switch onto your back, ass up in the air.

“May I?”

“Fuck yes.” You bring his tip towards your lips leaving soft kisses as you move towards the end, teasing him. You bring his tip towards your tongue, swirling it around. As you wrap your lips around him, you feel a hand sink into your hair.

“Fuck, y/n.” he moans, which brings you to push him toward the end of your mouth. You grip his thighs and start to bobble your head back and forth, feeling his tip hit the back of your throat.

The room is full of gaggings and moans as Kenji’s grip on your hair tightens, making it into a makeshift ponytail. He starts to control the movements between you two, causing your eyes to water and his head to fall back. His thrusts into your mouth become faster and sloppier, “Fuck I’m so close.”

You dig your nails into his thighs as he gives a final push and spasms into you, making you swallow. The taste of the salty-sweet semen brings such of excitement throughout you as you smile looking up. “My turn?” You ask sweetly, giving your best doe-eyes.

“Fuck yes, turn around,” You listen to his command, feeling your breasts jiggle when you look up to Kenji. “They're so pretty.” He whispers under his breath, cupping them with his hand. He brings his eyes up to you, being full of lust and love. “Are you ready?”

You nod in approval, moving your hand towards your clit, circling it softly. You feel him enter inside of you, the sound of the slick and wet noises echoing through the room. He thrusts forward into you until he can feel your G-spot. You arch your back, sinking your nails into his back. “Fuck.” You whisper.

You feel him thrust faster, as you wrap your legs around his hips, grasping even harder when you feel his movements go sloppier. “You feel so fucking good,” Kenji says in between whimpers and moans. “Such a, fuck, perfect pussy.” he presses his lips against her collarbone and moves up until he wraps his mouth around yours a wet thrashing of tongues and lips.

“I’m so close.” You moan, while Kenji grasps your hair. You feel your body tighten as you scratch the back of his shoulder, trying your best not to let go.

Kenji smirks, “Come all over my dick, Give it to me.” You finally realise yourself, feeling the wet oozy cum fill up inside of you. You pant, trying to get your breath.

“Happy?” You ask.

“Very.”

[owlchimedes]

Hi there ! I absolutely love your photos (I only just realized that a bunch of studyblr photos I've recently fallen in love with were yours!)

I was curious if you had any tips for taking good photos/editing them? I find that my photos don't seem to quite have the same good lighting as others' and would truly appreciate any advice you might have on the matter.

Thank you and have a great day!!!!

Thank you!! 🤩 (have to say, I’m a big fan of your blog)

I actually don’t edit my photos that much! Sometimes I might blur or crop out identifying information, but I rarely mess with the colors or shadows of a pic, and if I do, it’s just with the limited tools in the Apple Photos editor. I mostly curate my posts really heavily — for every posted picture, there are 24+ blurry bad ones that didn’t make the cut. Besides that, I do have a couple of general tips:

Prioritize light colored notebooks, papers, pens, etc. since they reflect more light and make an image seem brighter. Select matte over shiny. Photographing shiny black objects is very hard!

Pay attention to shadow and contrast. Hard, flat light (like full sun at an acute angle) in the warm spectrum photographs really well. Most of my favorite pics have been taken between 7-10 am or 4-7 pm. It can be helpful to haunt a handful of study spaces so that you can predict how the light will behave.

It really is about what you’re photographing. I like the way that paper, ceramic, leather, and glass refract light so I tend to have more of those objects around. I have a hard time photographing cloth, so I don’t do bed-spreads or carpet/floor layouts.

Be careful with blue light! Snapping pics of computer screens sucks because it adds a hard, blue square to an image that can be really jarring. Put f.lux or some other color filter on your laptop and take the pic from an angle to limit the amount of blue. Likewise, I try to avoid taking pics in the very early morning or under fluorescents.

Be careful with dappled or fractionated light. It can look very cool but depends on what’s being photographed (ex: left is fun, right is disorganized even though they have the same lighting situation).

It can be helpful to have a tiny guide/reference photo for each batch, or even a HEX code that you aim for. Honestly, I use the avatar thumbnail for this blog. If I put a picture next to it and squint, do they seem consistent? If they do, post! It helps with getting that warm luminous quality that I particularly like.

And lastly, always give yourself permission NOT to take a pic! My worst pictures come when I force them and the best ones are when I’m busy studying only to look up and go “woah, pretty!” You can boost your chances by sitting alone near a window & using all your favorite supplies, but it really is somewhat up to the Fates!

[pearlcaddy]

I really need people who don't watch The Try Guys and only know about them from the recent Ned bullshit to appreciate their most recent video.

For the past couple months, they've been releasing a mix of videos that in some cases have been carefully edited around Ned and in others been shot recently without him. There's been some shade sprinkled throughout the newer stuff, and there was this particular gem in a recent video:

[ID: Screenshot from Try Guys 30-Day Meditation Challenge of Keith standing in front of the cover of the Try Guys' book, The Hidden Power of Fucking Up. Normally the cover has a photo of all four Try Guys, but the image of Ned has been replaced with a blank 404 error message.]

In general, their approach has been to throw some shade but ultimately cut around and ignore him.

But now it's Without a Recipe season.

WAR is one of the Try Guys' major series, released during November and December, in which they compete with each other to bake an item without a recipe, usually to disastrous results. Because the videos are long and such a central part of their winter holiday schedule, the videos are filmed months in advance. (Despite how long this post is, I'm a very casual fan, but my understanding is it's shot in the summer?) Which means that these episodes were filmed pre-scandal and that they're very difficult episodes to scrap or reshoot. And, given the camera set-up, it would be almost impossible to completely cut out a participant.

So they went a different direction.

[ID: Screenshot of the title card reading, "The Try Guys: Without a Recipe. Everything is Fine: A Totally Normal Season." Next to the text are images of explosions and a sarcastic hand giving a thumbs up.]

The shade in this episode starts early. Zach has consistently been the weakest baker, but his chyron for this year was unapologetic.

[ID: Screenshot of Zach being interviewed by the camera. At the bottom of the screen is a chryon that reads, "Zach: No longer the 4th best."]

For the most part, the episode cuts around Ned; the audience isn't told what type of Pop-Tart he bakes and we don't see the judges tasting and reviewing his bake. Group shots of the four Try Guys tend to be cropped so that only Keith, Eugene, and Zach are visible.

The time he's made most visible in the background is in these shots:

[ID: Screenshot of Keith in the foreground. Behind him is Ned, seen from the shoulders down. The framing deliberately leaves the text on Ned's shirt visible. It reads, "I love bad ideas," followed by the heart on fire emoji.]

But my favorite parts of the video are when they just replace him. Because, while the rest of the episode plays like a normal episode, there's wild shit happening whenever Ned would have been on screen.

There's one time when the editors wink to a fan theory that they'd used a fake pole to partially edit him out of a shot in a previous video. How? By needlessly covering him with a fake pole instead of cropping him out the way they do with all the other shots from the same camera set-up.

[ID: Screenshot of Zach in the foreground. To his left is a computer-generated image of a large, clearly fake pole over the space where Ned would be.]

Now normally the bakers are split into two pairs and work at side-by-side work stations where they riff off of one another while baking.

[ID: Screenshot of Eugene and Zach in the kitchen baking at separate tables that are arranged side-by-side.]

So at some points in the video, Keith (who is the baker paired with Ned in this episode) is in footage where the Ned half of the screen is replaced with footage of an unused workstation, as below:

But my favorite parts of the video were the ones where they replaced Ned with something that really acknowledged the elephant in the room:

[ID: Screenshot of the same kitchen set-up from before with two tables next to each other. Keith stands at one, looking at the baker at the other table. Ned has been replaced with a computer-generated image of a pink elephant.]

Whenever Ned is (presumably) speaking, the audio is replaced with a loud elephant trumpet.

They commit to the bit so much that, when the judges announce the results, they don't even show us Ned's Pop-Tart.

[ID: Judge Rosanna Pansino holds up a Pop-Tart. A red-and-white paper box of fresh peanuts has been added to the footage, completely shielding the Pop-Tart from view. The peanut box has a cartoon image of an elephant as part of its design.]

Now, they easily could have cut out the announcement of the results, especially since they cut out all of his baking process.

But Ned comes last.

So they leave that part in. As a treat.

When the judge announces the name of the fourth-place baker, instead of saying "Ned," the audio is replaced with her voice saying "Elephant," and when we cut to Ned's reaction?

[ID: Screenshot of the Try Guys clustered together. Ned has been replaced with the pink elephant, who is screaming in protest while the other three Try Guys shrink away from him. The chyron reads, "4th Place: Elephant."

And then true chaos reigns when we get to the announcement of the winner, and there's honestly so much going on that I'll leave the image ID to explain it.

[ID: Screenshot of the Try Guys clustered together again. This time, Ned has been replaced with the body of a dancing man, while his head has been replaced with a terrifying dough face that Keith made earlier in the episode. Behind Ned is a smaller, full-body image of the pink elephant, standing in profile. Sat on the elephant's back is a cut out of the impersonation of Zach from the SNL skit that mocked the Try Guys' infamous What Happened video. Also on the back of the elephant are an image of a bent-over old man and a man in a suit holding a red cloak. I'm either not online enough or not versed in Try Guys' lore enough to understand their significance. The chyron reads, "Winner: Daddy's Favorite," in reference to Keith's victory.]

The whole video is truly, beautifully unhinged and I'm absolutely living for it. I've been wondering how they were going to handle WAR, because it's my favorite series and I knew editing around Ned was going to be a challenge.

Ned was always competitive, particularly on WAR, and I'm absolutely delighted that it turned into 40 minutes of everyone at 2nd Try taking the piss out of him... only for him to come in last place.

[maithefluffychicken]

Centerfold

Rated T, fluffy, meet-cute/ugly, photographer Steve meets rockstar Eddie. Ao3 link

Enjoy!

“When were you going to tell me?” Dustin confronts him, arms crossed tight over his puffed chest. He’s angry and glaring at Steve.

Steve has no idea why, though.

“To tell you, what?” Steve asks, eyes lazily coming back to the screen of his computer. He has been working on a photoshooting made earlier, a boring model for a top brand just changing outfits and shifting from pose to pose quickly and efficiently; basically he’s sorting the best pics to send them to the editor and retouching lights and shades and shit. 

“As if you didn’t know it already!” Dustin accuses him. Dustin is one of the youngest photographers in the agency, and he had the luck to be the one assigned to one of the fiercest journalists, Erica Sinclair, they both cover the best shit and they’re hyper competitive and clever. They’re made for each other, if you ask Steve. Meanwhile, Steve is lucky if he can work on one of his photo reports between photoshoot and photoshoot.

For some reason, though, Steve is fond of Dustin, maybe because they’re both only children and Steve kind of adopted Dustin, to the point of exchanging extremely complicated and elaborated secret handshakes that makes everyone roll their eyes in annoyance. Not like they mind it.

“Henderson, I have no idea what you are talking about, I need a coffee for your antics if you’re going to yell at me first thing in the morning,” Steve sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to get up, but Dustin doesn’t let him leave the chair.

“You’ve been assigned to do a photoshoot for Eddie Munson!” Dustin yells, face red and eyes wide. “Don’t try to deny it because the Boss told me already, she didn’t care that I begged, she was adamant that you’d be the one doing the job!”

Fucking great.

“I’m not denying it, Henderson,” Steve sighs again, feeling exhausted. “Yeah, Nancy assigned it to me, and I have no idea why, who is this Eddie Munson?”

Steve knows who Eddie Munson is, he’s the lead guitarist and singer from this band, Corroded Coffin - Jesus Christ, what a name - and that they’re pretty popular right now, their new album released and, because of the recently acquired fame, basically every magazine wanted to interview the band and, above all, they wanted Eddie Munson.

What Steve wants to know is why everyone, including Dustin, seems to be so besotted with this Eddie Munson.

“Ok, ok, since you’re all asking so nicely…” Eddie smiles, the quality of the video is not great but Steve can see that the man has a pretty face and a thin frame, and he’s holding his guitar in a way that is almost indecent. And the first notes of the song start playing, the crows cheering and whooping. Steve barely recognises it, a cover from an eighties’ rock band or whatever, he thinks - based on the title of the video.

“Who is… You’re asking me who Eddie Munson is?” Dustin gapes, incredibly offended. “You have no right to be the one working with him, Harrington! It’s not fair!”

While Dustin is angrily muttering about how unfair life is and that Steve is an uncultured swine, he pushes Steve’s chair to the side and takes control of his computer, ignoring Steve’s weak protests. Dustin opens a tab and writes “Eddie Munson Master of Puppets cover live Indiana”. Clicking the first link, the video starts playing on and it shows Corroded Coffin on a stage, the stadium full of people, and Eddie Munson is at the front, black shirt open, showing a hairless chest, and silver chains catching the light of the spotlights. Dark curls clinging to his face with sweat and he smiles, smirks at his audience, who is yelling at him, chanting “Master of Puppets” again and again like just one voice, hands raised and clapping.

“Corroded Coffin’s leader, Eddie Munson, was playing his guitar in this hole-on-the-wall somewhere, you don’t care where anyway, and he started playing Master of Puppets and then James Hetfield himself stood up and joined him singing! The man was there and Eddie was awestruck, and the fucking Metallica helped him to start, dude, it’s the most amazing story ever…” Dustin is talking fast and without taking a breath, as he always does when he’s hyped about something. “And they let him play their song every fucking time, like, imagine to know your hero like that…”

Steve hums. And frowns.

“Hey, you told me I was your hero, kind of a role model for you, that you started studying photography because of me…” Steve pouts, and Dustin’s cheek redden a bit.

“Well, yeah, but, it’s not the same, like, they’re actual rock stars, Steve…” Dustin mumbles, and then he starts writing again and the video stops to show another one, recorded with the camera of a phone and the shittiest quality ever. Steve tries to not overthink about what Dustin just said.

Eddie Munson, a year or two younger, with the same long brown hair in disarray, and wearing a denim vest over a leather jacket, overdressed in comparison with the other video. His on-stage persona is still magnetic, the small crowd already making the chorus, it’s the same song, Master of Puppets. Steve keeps watching and, in the video, people start gasping and a loud Oh My God! can be heard when a man older than Eddie, with short blond hair and broad shoulders stands up and reaches the stage and starts singing with Eddie. Eddie seems a bit stunned for a second when he realizes who the man is, and then he nods, smiles and stops singing so the man - James Whatever, Steve can remember the name Dustin just had told him a moment ago - can take the mic and Eddie keeps playing the guitar, a wide grin on his face.

They both seem like having fun and the older man pats Eddie on his shoulder and tells him something, Eddie nods enthusiastically and, grinning wide, he starts playing another song.

“I hope you take this seriously, Harrington,” Dustin admonishes him. “Everyone wants to work with him and to take the best photos of him, and they always say how amazing he is, so, can you, please? Take it seriously?”

“Nancy, our editor,” Steve reminds Dustin, “already told me that, and I always do a good job, Henderson, no matter who is in front of the camera.”

“But this is important, Steve,” Dustin urges him one more time. “This work could change your whole life, dude!”

Steve rolls his eyes and huffs, watching Dustin walk towards his own computer to actually do his job, and Steve takes the opportunity to stretch his legs and pours himself a mug of coffee. Once again in front of his screen, Steve lips his lower lip.

He doesn’t like to work with celebs, not all of them play nice and not all of them listen to Steve, usually they complain about their schedule or are simply… plain and boring. That’s why Steve prefers to do his photo report about interesting things or places, there are a lot of stories out there waiting to be told.

-

“What do you mean there’s no brand behind him?” Steve asks, deflating in the chair. At the other side of the table, Nancy Wheeler, the editor, is organizing some papers. 

Nancy shrugs, and looks at Steve with a brow arched.

“His manager says that she’ll give us the different outfits, but that they’re not interested in any specific brand or name, Eddie has a penchant for the eighties, glam-rock, old rock stars vibe, and there’s no brand that can provide that nowadays,” she explains. 

“Well, if his manager is going to give us the clothes, I don’t care, as if he wants to show up in pajamas, honestly,” Steve says bitterly.

“If you don’t care then leave me work, Steve,” Nancy smirks and Steve grunts, standing on his feet again and ready to leave Nancy’s office.

“Why do you hate him so much?” She asks before Steve can leave. “You don’t even know him.”

“I don’t hate him…” Steve says, and it’s true. “I just, ugh, all celebs are just the same, proud and so self-satisfied, they’re usually mean and petty.”

“That’s a lot of prejudice and hate in those words of you, Steve,” Nancy huffs. “He seems nice, his manager is very sweet, or that’s what Robin says at least, and God knows she’s even pickier than you with people.”

“That’s why we both get along so well,” Steve smiles. “Why me?”

“Hm?”

“Henderson wants the job, he’s a fan, why not him for this session? He’d be so happy, Nance, and he’s even better than me at this point.”

Nancy studies him for a moment, considering her options.

“I would give him this assignment, but I can’t,” she sighs. “Eddie Munson wants you, he asked for you specifically, Steve. And we already signed the contract.”

“What? Why?” Steve asks, confused and feeling hot all over, angry at the celebs and their fucking idea that the world spins around them.

“I have no idea, Steve,” Nancy sighs now, too. “But Eddie Munson is the big thing happening at the moment, and he wants us, he wants you, this can change…”

“Change my life, yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Steve closes the door behind him with more force than needed.

-

Eddie Munson, just like the rest of the celebs Steve has worked with, is late. Of course he is. A big rock star like him surely has better things to do than appear at the hour he has been told so Steve can do his fucking job.

He has everything ready to start, the camera settled, the fucking lights, the screen and, ok, maybe he wouldn’t be this upset if he wouldn’t made his job so fucking thoroughly even if he knew it was going to lead him to another disappointment. Steve is good at his job, he takes it seriously no matter what Nancy and Dustin say, and that’s why he asked Robin to call Eddie Munson’s manager and to get him some information. And then, he did some research and called some friends.

In just a week, Steve found several leather jackets, tight enough that no matter how thin Eddie is, he couldn’t wear a shirt underneath, just as his metal heroes did back in their days. Just as tight jeans ripped at the knees, even a few ones with animal print: zebra stripes over red, leopard dots over blue. Denim jackets with spikes at the shoulders. Oversized shirts with ruffles, very pirate-y. And all kinds of jewelry and bijou and chokers and chunk rings, bandanas, chains, everything a eighties-lover metalhead could want and more.

And guitars and their amps - just in case. Steve owes several favors now for a fucking photoshoot just to offer this guy different guitars to pose with. He hopes the man arrives sooner or later, he has to return all the clothes and guitars tomorrow first hour, so for the first time that week, Steve wants Eddie Munson here and now. A part of him, the part that he doesn’t want to listen to and that has been devouring every video of Eddie Munson available on Internet, wants desperately that Eddie likes the set Steve has made for him, and that’s the other reason why he hopes the man will appear any moment now.

It’s easier if he says to himself that he just wants to do that perfect photoshoot, far too easier than to admit that the guy looks hot on every fucking interview and has the habit of winking at the camera. It’s easier if he says to everyone that he’s just a greedy photographer who wants a raise, a chance to prove himself, or whatever other lie he can think of. 

Being late is not very hot, in Steve’s opinion.

There’s a rustle behind the door of the studio and then two figures storm in, a cute blonde young woman with her hair tied in a ponytail, wearing a black blazer and jeans, and right by her side, Eddie Munson himself.

“Steve Harrington?” The woman asks, a bright smile in her pink lips, and she offers her hand for Steve to take. “I’m Chrissy Cunningham, Eddie’s manager, I’m sorry we’re late, we got stuck in traffic, I tried to call you to the number Miss Buckley gave me last time, but it seems like it’s not working.”

Steve takes the small hand in his and, fuck, he had silenced his phone earlier because Dustin was texting him non-stop about Eddie Munson and Steve forgot to check in just in case. Well, I’m an idiot for that one, Steve admits while shaking Chrissy’s hand and smiling.

“Nice to meet you, Miss Cunningham, and don’t worry, traffic it’s awful in this city” he says, trying not to look like an idiot, and his eyes find Eddie Munson behind her, worrying his lower lip shyly, eyeing him up and down. “Mr Munson.”

At being called, Eddie takes a step forward and offers his hand to Steve, smiling nervously. His hand is warm, if a bit sweaty, smaller than Steve’s but with long fingers and calloused palms, and Steve realizes he’s thinking too much about said hand, releasing it quickly, shoving all his current thoughts down, crumpling them like a ball of aluminum foil and tossing it at the back of his mind for later examination, or not. Better not.

“Mr Munson is my uncle, please, call me Eddie,” he says, nervously and shivering. “And damn, the pleasure is mine, I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

Steve blinks several times before his brain registers Eddie’s words, as if their roles were reversed and Steve was the rockstar and Eddie Munson was a fan. Steve can’t help but notice the soft pink that paints Eddie’s cheeks.

“Ehm, same,” he says confused, he was the one believing that Eddie wouldn’t appear after all.

“No man, and I’m so sorry to be late, I hate driving in the city,” Eddie laughs, rubbing his neck and drawing a complex expression on his face. “I hope we can still do the photoshoot today? I’m free and all for you, I mean, to make out with you… To do you! To do the photoshoot! Damn, Munson,” Eddie groans, embarrassed and laughing awkwardly. Steve is having a crisis, or a stroke, or the weirdest dream of his life; he laughs too, his mind racing with very inappropriate images but honestly, he can just blame the stress and the anxiety for doing this job. Eddie recovers, though. “I’m sure you have better things to do, more appointments or something, and if you want to reschedule or something… Chrissy, help, please?”

Eddie Munson rambles when he’s nervous, his cheeks are a bit flushed, and he’s making Steve second guessing everything he thinks he knows about Eddie. And it’s making his knees feel like jelly.

“What Eddie is trying to say is that he asked for you to be the photographer for this session, and if that our delay is an issue, we’ll do whatever it’s on our hands to do it any other day, and of course we’ll cover the inconveniences for today,” Chrissy smiles softly, looking around the studio. “You have the whole set ready, and I know all the hard work you put in here. And if you still have time today, we’ll love to keep the plan.”

“It’s ok, don’t worry, we have time,” no, they don’t. “I don’t have any more appointments today.” It’s not a lie, but he does have work to do that needs to be finished. And yet, now that Eddie is here, Steve doesn’t want him to leave, and it’s not that late. Steve is getting better at lying to himself, then. 

Also, what Eddie has to do is just stand there and look pretty, the bitter part of him that is still annoyed snaps to himself, only to be answered with the other part of himself with: damn, he’s already very pretty.

Steve shakes his head and shoves down both thoughts, annoyance and awe can wait until the session is over. Or like, forever. They’re just two more foil balls bouncing at the back of his mind with the previous one.

“We can still do the session today, sure,” Steve reassures them, smiling and nodding.

“I don’t want to be a bother,” Eddie says, tugging at a stray curl and putting it in front of his face, hiding from Steve. He has no right to be this sweet, where’s the annoying, overconfident rockstar Steve was expecting? Steve feels his body melting because of Eddie, and that’s not good.

“You’re not a bother, just… We can start when you want.”

 Eddie grins, dimples showing and eyes widening, Steve feels the sudden need to clear his throat and drink some water.

"It’s settled then, I need to make some calls, be good, Eddie, ok?" Chrissy says, looking at her tablet and smiling smugly. "Mr Harrington, thank you for this, and if he misbehaves I'll be out there, just scream for help." She adds with a wink before leaving and closing the door behind her, and Eddie makes a sound that it’s too much of a squeak. 

"Ok that was... unnecessary," Eddie laughs awkwardly again, and yet he looks comfortable on his own skin while Steve is fighting to maintain his professional composure. "She's just teasing me because, uhm..."

"What, a rock tar like you that doesn't like to be in front of a camera?" Steve asks, a bit awestruck if he's honest to himself, and flirting without noticing. Or, noticing it just a bit.

"I prefer to be on stage, yeah, but, ehm... " Eddie huffs. "I've been waiting for this for a long time, and I want to thank you for having me here today."

"How's that?" Steve asks, smiling, unable to imagine Eddie Munson all shy and flustered, and yet here they are.

"Oh, because I wanted you to make out with me... To have a session with me! With the camera!" Eddie rambles, his cheeks incredibly red and Steve is sure his own are burning now, he can’t even chuckle at this, not when he’s the one imagining it now. Great. "Oh fuck, I'm already making a mess... Ok, fuck it, ok, I've been following your work and I’m kinda obsessed with your style."

Steve can't help but giggle this time, shock running down his body, this is all so absurd, a proper rockstar that stands in front of thousands of people stuttering and praising his work as a photographer. Also, said rockstar admitting to being a fan of his own work. If Steve had a nickel for every time that has occurred to him, he’ll have a one single shining nickel, though.

"You kidding?" Eddie asks, big Bambi eyes widening. "That story about Indiana's Queer secret nightlife? Or the one you did about the abandoned Hawkins lab? You're insanely talented, man, and when I heard you were working as a photographer for this magazine, I begged Chrissy to get me a session with you."

"You like my work?" He asks, incredulous, shaking his head in disbelief.

This can't be real, there's no way a man like Eddie is praising a dork like him.

"Wow, Munson, damn," Steve laughs now, the praise making him feel like he’s floating, and rubs the back of his neck with his hand, his cheeks burning like never before. "I don't even know what to say, thank you, I..."

Fuck, Steve can't lie, he had a lot of prejudices about Eddie, and he doesn't like metal music... Ok, great now he's feeling like a jerk.

"Just saying the truth, dude, and I hope you don't mind me fangirling about you," Eddie smiles, dimples showing, and Steve's breath catches in his throat. This man is a dream, sweet, and incredibly handsome, wearing the simplest clothes: just a white short sleeved shirt and jeans, his long hair in a messy bun. And fucking praising him.

Steve forgets about all his troubles to get the different outfits for Eddie, now he wants to photograph him just like this, all flustered and unhinged in the most beautiful, honest way. In horror, Steve realizes that he’s developing a crush on the man in front of him, just after what, four minutes in his presence? And ok, that’s a new record for him.

This is bad, this is really bad, this is too embarrassing, and once again and for completely different reasons, Steve wishes that Nancy had given Dustin this job.

"I... I want to say that I love your work too but, ehm..." Steve rambles and Eddie's grin widens. "I don't want to look like an idiot, because you're being amazing and nice with me and..."

"Hey, I get it, metal is not for everyone, and I'm just happy that you accepted to work with me, no harm done," Eddie's smile falters a bit but it's still here, chocolate eyes pining Steve in his place.

Steve’s resolve resurges, he decides that he was right putting all that effort in this session after all, and he’ll make it up for Eddie with the greatest photoshoot ever.

"Ok, so," Steve claps his hands. "Before we start, I have a selection for you, clothes and accessories and some guitars, I guessed based on your, ehm, videos and all that, if you want to follow me..."

Steve leads Eddie and shows him the place, and delights in Eddie's gasps and squeaks with almost everything Steve picked for him.

"Ooooh fuck, this can't be real! This is a Carvin JB24 Jason Becker Tribute? Fuck me, Harrington, is this for me?" Eddie yelps, his hands wrapping around the slim, long neck of the guitar. "I always wanted the blue one he always used, you know? But well, I found my Sweetheart, and that was love at first sight," Eddie smiles fondly. "Do you believe in love at first sight, Harrington?"

Fuck, I do believe now, Steve thinks almost hysterically when Eddie winks at him. That leads them into a conversation about Steve's cameras and his own collection, and it's easy to talk with Eddie, he understands Steve and his passion and Steve can understand him now. They both tell stories to the world, Eddie uses his music, Steve his sight.

It’s time for Eddie to choose some outfits for the session and once again, praises Steve for his good eye, for taking him seriously even if he’s a silly man with a guitar, and Steve frowns. He craves Eddie’s praise, sure, but he doesn’t like the way the man talks about himself. 

"For a man who claims he doesn't like metal you got me a lot of great stuff, Harrington... Oh shit, this jacket is just like Yngvie Malmsteen’s, can I...?"

"Eddie, we have time," Steve smiles, ignoring how ironic it is that he didn't want this job and now he just wants to spend the whole time with Eddie. "You can try all the outfits."

What a fucking worst-best idea.

Eddie is stunning in every one of the outfits, and he's kind of goofy, making a lot of different poses that makes Steve guffaws behind his camera. It’s fun, and easy, to have Eddie posing for him and following Steve’s instructions and tips. They try different outfits and guitars, and Steve doesn’t want the session to finish.

Steve is happy he just settled his video recorder too, he does that always, the celebs like to have the behind the scenes video, but this? Eddie making him laugh and enjoying the session so freely? Steve is so fucking grateful, he's going to buy Nancy a bouquet of roses or something.

Every five minutes or so, Eddie remembers some iconic photographs of his metal heroes, including Jason Becker, Yngvie Malmsteen and James Hetfield among others Steve is not going to remember their names, sadly, and shows them to Steve asking if they can recreate them.

Steve is happy to indulge Eddie.

"I can make your pics look like they're from the eighties, y'know?" Steve smirks, and Eddie's eyes get even bigger, Steve is not going to survive the weight of that gaze on him.

“Really? Can we… Can you do that?” Eddie asks, almost gaping.

"Yeah, pretty easy, just take the .RAW file and then convert it to .TIFF and just add some gaussian blur..." Steve knows he's rambling but Eddie is smiling openly at him, looking at him like he's doing something amazing for him, even if Eddie has no idea what he's talking about.

"You're so fucking precious, Harrington," Eddie whispers, still with that tight leather jacket wrapped around his torso, the chains hanging from his neck, and he's to close to Steve, so fucking close…

"I..." Steve wants to say that he's only doing his job, but it's not true, not anymore, Steve doesn't bother to try and lie to himself at this point, when he can just lean in and kiss Eddie Munson. "You're so happy with all this, that I want to..." To it be perfect for you.

Steve wants to do something that is not at all professional of him, that it could cost him his job, his whole career, and even Eddie's, if he's taking this all wrong, if Eddie's not looking at his lips the way Steve is almost sure he's doing it.

But Jesus Christ, Steve wants to kiss him, so fucking badly. Maybe the whole shit about rock stars being a chicks magnet is true - Steve just called himself a chick and doesn’t even care, for fuck's sake…

They stand like this for a moment, leaning into each other, something powerful tugging at them, pulling them closer.

"Edward Munson, stop annoying this poor man! It’s been three hours already!" The studio’s door opens then, they both jump and take a step back, Chrissy stepping inside and looking at them with a bright, startled look. "Oops! Oh, f- I'm sorry! I'll wait outside, but, Munson..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm… We’re almost done, I'm sorry Chris," Eddie smiles sheepishly.

Chrissy leaves them again, and Steve is losing his mind, his heart hammering in his chest, breathing heavily and needy like when he was a teenager.

"Guess I should go, then," Eddie says with a sigh, and leaves Steve to hide behind the screen to change into his normal outfit again, and Steve’s heart breaks a little. He hasn’t felt like this in years, Eddie has gotten under his skin faster than anyone else before, and Steve doesn’t know what to do with this feeling.

So Steve starts watching the pics on his camera screen, smiling at himself at the antics of this Eddie Munson. Hot and humble, a goof, always winking at the camera- no, at Steve, and some of those winks show in the photographs.

"Hey I look good in that one," Eddie whispers in Steve's ear, standing behind him and propped up on his feet to look over Steve’s shoulder at the camera. Steve tilts his head and shifts so that Eddie can look better at the photo. Eddie's hair is free from his bun, all bouncing messy curls framing his handsome face, wearing an open maroon button up shirt, he's holding his Sweetheart and kissing the neck of his guitar, eyes closed. The photo is extremely hot and tender, and is one of Steve's favorites too.

"You look good in every fucking photo, Eddie," Steve whispers too, giving up, showing up his cards.

He turns his head to look at Eddie, short sleeved white shirt again, but open, just like in the photo, his chain hanging from his neck and hairless chest on display, but good Jesus, his happy trail is of light brown, soft looking hair.

It’s the first time Steve can see all of his tattoos, too. The bats and the puppet master, the wyvern, in his arms. A zombie head and a black widow on his chest. Steve wonders if he has more tattoos hidden under his clothes.

Steve’s fingers itch with the need and want to touch the man in front of him.

"May I... like this? In your casual outfit?" Steve asks, shyly. He's being greedy, but Eddie grins at him wickedly.

"Only if I can have your personal number, it's only fair."

Steve smiles brightly, his heart hammering in his chest, nodding too fast, imagining Eddie texting him, calling him… Eddie poses a few more times for Steve, and Eddie saves Steve's number in his phone.

"Oh, Harrington, just one more thing..." Eddie says, Steve by his side, before opening the door for him. Steve looks at him, basking in his presence for a few more seconds, and hums, urging Eddie to keep talking.

Eddie leans in and closes the distance between them, kissing him softly, chaste, lips meeting lips, and Steve's hands fly to Eddie's waist, fingers digging in his pale skin and making Eddie’s breath hitch.

"I'm free tonight, if you want to..."

"I'm out at seven," Steve rushes to answer and Eddie smiles against his lips.

"I'll be here to pick you up, and we can have dinner together,” Eddie offers shyly, as if he’s still doubting that Steve wants to have a date with him. Steve reassures him, deepening their kiss, tongues sliding together easily and sending shivers down Steve’s spine.

When they part, Eddie’s cheeks are delightfully red and he seems just as affected as Steve feels, already counting the hours until they meet again later.

WIth a last shy peck, Eddie opens the door and leaves, turning just one more time to wink at him, and Steve grins.

Dustin was right after all, this session surely has changed his life forever.

[alexis-royce]

The demo gave me the biggest autism event ever /pos when that layering backgrounds came on. I was stunned and had a huge art nerd out over it. THAT REMINDS ME. how did you do the backgrounds in this?? the photo realistic ones? I was stun locked like the whole way through the demo because of how amazing the whole thing was. i genuinely said out loud how I would love to make a story like this eventually. category 5 autism event created. reccing this to all my friends

Thank you very much! I especially like to hear it when something I've made helps someone else feel like making something, too. ^u^ Feel free to open up the script.rpy file in a text editor (or just download Ren'py!) and see how it works! The Parallax backgrounds might be a little complicated if it's your first time, but you can always hold onto the file as a reference text for later!

Backgrounds can be tricky! While I love it when I have the time to paint from scratch, my solo-dev form will wither to dust if I try that every time! So it's very important to learn how to use photographs effectively.

I always start with a photo I have permission to use. For these ones, I went to a local movie theater, took some shots, and rapidly chickened out due to social anxiety. So Tsush patted me on the head and talked to the staff and got some PERFECT shots:

I popped this one into Clip Studio, and rendered some lineart using LT Layer conversion:

After all, while I'll need the daytime lobby later, when Lee arrives it is after closing, so the lighting's all wrong for the scene. So it's time to reshade it by hand. There's no trick to this, you just gotta hop in and do your best.

The values are off a little here, because I keep checking while painting to see how it looks with my Sire texture on top. I love that thing. You'll all get tired of it before I do.

And that's pretty much it! If I get to finish this game, I'd like to go back in later and maybe fix up some shadows that don't make sense. XD But I got the ambience where I wanted it, which was my goal.

I did a similar paintover technique with The Case of the Serialized Killer, so that I could go for a sort of "colorized photo" look. I printed out my lines and painted over them using watercolors, and then scanned the backgrounds back into the computer:

Anyway, if anyone's looking for more step-by-steps, my patrons have gotten to read about painting backgrounds in gouache, or making visual novel sprites with watercolor.

[usafphantom2]

Putin Says Western Bases Hosting Ukraine’s F-16s Would Be Legitimate Targets

March 28, 2024 Russia, War in Ukraine

Putin F-16

F-16 firing an AGM-88 HARM. In the box, Vladimir Putin. (Image credit: The Aviationist, using images in the Public Domain)

Russia warns it may attack NATO bases possibly used to launch Ukraine’s F-16s.

If the F-16s are delivered to Ukraine, Russia could also strike NATO bases from which the jets would launch. The threat was issued by Vladimir Putin during a meeting with a group of pilots at Tver, northwest of Moscow. The Russian President said an escalation could be provoked by the delivery of the promised Fighting Falcon jets, for which training of Ukrainian pilots is underway.

“F-16s are capable of carrying nuclear weapons, and we will also need to take that into account while organizing our combat operations,” Putin said.

“Of course, if they are used from bases in third countries, they would be a legitimate target for us, no matter where they are,” he added.

However, the Kremlin believes not even the supply of these fighters will be able to change the course of the conflict, “We will destroy their warplanes just as we destroy their tanks, armored vehicles and other equipment, including multiple rocket launchers”.

File photo of Danish F-16s. (Photo: Danish MoD)

Ukraine has long been asking its Western partners for the delivery of F-16s. Ukrainian President Zelenskyy said last year that at least 42 F-16s had been promised (the number is not known, but according to the most reliable sources, they should be 60), with the first deliveries expected by the Summer of 2024. Meanwhile, Ukrainian pilots, with different degree of flying experience, are at various stages of training, both in the U.S. and in Europe.

The delivery of the F-16s won’t be a game-changer, considering the need to integrate them in the Ukrainian Air Force, the lack of specific experience of Ukrainian pilots on the type and in view of Russia’s massive air force and sophisticated air defense systems. The weapon system requires logistic support, infrastructure and weapons: it will take years before the whole “ecosystem” that is required to sustain effective combat operations with the Fighting Falcon can be exploited at its best.

F-16 Ukraine

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy and Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte walk near an F-16, in Eindhoven, Netherlands, August 20, 2023. (Photo credits: REUTERS/Piroschka van de Wouw)

However, in the short and mid term, the “Viper” (as the F-16 is nicknamed in the pilot community) will be a quick upgrade from the current MiG-29s: the “new” jets will be used to detect, hunt and engage cruise missiles, helicopters, UAVs and Russian fighters, and to conducting air strikes on Russian targets with stand-off missiles. The F-16s can also be used to fire the AGM-88 HARM missiles (a type that was not “natively” compatible with the Ukrainian combat aircraft but was integrated with the MiG-29 and Su-27) and JDAMs bombs in SEAD/DEAD (Suppression/Destruction of Enemy Air Defenses) missions that are particularly important on the Ukrainian battlefield.

We will see.

MiG-29 AGM-88

A screenshot of the video shared by the Ukrainian Air Force showing the moment an AGM-88 HARM is fired by a MiG-29.

About David Cenciotti

@theAviationist via X

David Cenciotti is a journalist based in Rome, Italy. He is the Founder and Editor of “The Aviationist”, one of the world’s most famous and read military aviation blogs. Since 1996, he has written for major worldwide magazines, including Air Forces Monthly, Combat Aircraft, and many others, covering aviation, defense, war, industry, intelligence, crime and cyberwar. He has reported from the U.S., Europe, Australia and Syria, and flown several combat planes with different air forces. He is a former 2nd Lt. of the Italian Air Force, a private pilot and a graduate in Computer Engineering. He has written five books and contributed to many more ones.

[mawofthemagnetar]

A sneak peek of the planned Survivorguy Fic

Featuring weird formatting, script-style (for interlude chapters, don't worry, it won't be the whole thing) and lots of neato shit.

Enjoy this while I go reread the SAS survival guide.

Spoilers and unedited rough writing under the cut!

XBCRAFTED VOICEOVER:

“Hello. My name is xBcrafted, otherwise known as Survivorguy. I’m an explorer, an adventurer, and a former soldier. I’ve climbed K2 and crossed Antarctica, and I’ve made it my life’s goal to survive in the harshest environments on earth, to show you what it takes to make it out alive. I have no camera crew. I have no backup. Everything you see is filmed by myself. For the next ten days, I will be stranded in the wilderness. Follow with me, and find out what it takes to be…Survivorguy!”

[The screen blurs to show a montage of xB climbing cliffs and wading across waterfalls, and stuffing a cricket into his mouth. The theme tune plays over a modified title card. It reads: SURVIVORGUY: MEN VS NATURE SPECIAL!]

XBCRAFTED VOICEOVER:

“Tonight on Survivorguy, we’re answering a question many viewers have asked before. We get letters and emails and tweets, and we see you. You’ve seen me surviving alone in the wilderness, and you want to know: what about others? What if you have to take care of other people? Well, tonight, we’re going to find out!”

[The camera cuts to an overhead shot, looking down at three men with their arms folded in an empty room. xB is in the middle, in his usual clothes. Beside him, his brother Hypno, wearing a bandanna and his usual black getup. Keralis stands to the left, wearing his pilot’s uniform.]

XBCRAFTED VOICEOVER:

“Tonight, I’ll be trying to survive in the brutal and unforgiving Canadian wilderness, with two guys who barely have any survival experience at all.”

[The screen cuts to a shot of Keralis at the controls of a plane, directing it to taxi; it cuts to another shot of a completely different airplane, rolling down the taxiway.]

[NOTE FROM KERALIS: THAT IS AN AIRBUS A320 I WAS FLYING A 767 WHO DID THIS????]

XBCRAFTED VOICEOVER:

“This is my partner Keralis, who you might know from the heroic rescue of flight 1515. He’s an accomplished pilot who thinks the best way to start a fire is to pull the switch beside the fireplace. Ex-military, like myself, Keralis had some basic survival training in flight school…several decades ago. Apart from one or two camping trips and one questionable landing, he’s greener than your lawn.”

[The screen cuts to show Hypno at a computer, fiddling around with some code and opening a photo editor to tweak some colours. He glances at the camera, and blinks all three of his eyes, including the one on his cheek, before turning back to his work.]

XBCRAFTED VOICEOVER:

“And this is my brother Hypno. Hypno lives in Fort Lauderdale and is a skilled graphic and website designer. I think we went camping once when we were kids. Other than that, Hypno thinks that ‘roughing it’ is when the hotel wifi is patchy, and he absolutely hates the cold. Seeing as we’re going to the Yukon, this should be…interesting.”

[the-writing-mobster]

| The Most Dangerous Game | Chapter 6 Excerpt | 💙 🔪 💔 |

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.

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Tack, tack, tack, tack… 

Frisk sucked in a weary breath and reached for her mug. The porcelain was cold against her chapped lips, the murky coffee inside disgustingly lukewarm on her tongue, but she swallowed it anyway. Her eyes burned. The words on her screen blurred beneath her and it took everything in her to stifle the yawn threatening to come over her. 

Crickets chirping. The soft sigh of the HVAC breathing cool air through the grates in the floor. The hum of her computer screen. Lines of dotted color swimming in and out. 

Tack, tack, tack, tack, tack… 

Unfortunately, one could believe that her loneliness and her noble effort to see the best in people, is what led her to her brutal end. ｜

She rubbed her eyes, the sounds of the night buzzing in her aching head. A dark kaleidoscope of color swarmed the back of her eyelids and sent her briefly to another world connected only by scarlet string and madness. 

Frisk sucked in a long breath she refused to admit was a yawn, the incessant noise going silent as her breathing roared in her ears. 

A low moan escaped her as she came too and was greeted with true silence. She mused that the AC must have switched off for a moment. That was fine, she told herself. It’d been getting pretty cold. Even now, she could feel the prickles of goosebumps creeping on her arms and down the back of her neck. 

The words on her computer screen swam across from her. I need to step away. Look over my notes, the thought sent her careening to her feet. 

Each step she took sent pins and needles through her and she seethed through her teeth. How long had she been sitting there? She counted the hours to herself. She’d been writing ever since she’d gotten home from her meeting with the editor in chief so that meant… six hours straight? Was that right? That couldn’t be right. Ibrahim would’ve stopped her… unless he’d also been writing and in that case… 

Frisk smirked at the realization that they must have both been in a flow state. Who were either of them to wreck each other’s process?

“I’m almost done,” she said aloud as if trying to ward off the uncanny silence of the witching hour and give herself some company. 

 

The only other company she had were the pictures of Sarah’s carcass staring at her from her cork board. The acknowledgment of those dead, brown eyes sent Frisk searching the floor for lent out of some desperate attempt at avoiding them, if only briefly.

When the floor truly had nothing of substance to offer her, she was dragged by the chin back to that board. How dare she look away. Look upon me and see how I’ve suffered, whispered her own, morbid guilt. 

“Look at me!” 

She blinked hard at the invasive memory of her own small voice. The photos were blurry in the dark, unfocused in the ghoulish blue glare of her distant computer. She blinked again as if that would fix them. 

It seemed to work, though, and Sarah gazed back at her when she opened her eyes. Only… her eyes were larger. Lashes thicker… skin shades darker if not a tad ashy from the cool embrace of death. Lips plumper. Bruised.   

Familiar. 

Frisk furrowed her brow and sucked in a breath of stale air. Her feet swayed towards the board, pins and needles biting up her leg. She plucked the photo off the wall, a distant clack of the thumb tack falling to the floor. 

Pale, dead skin. Small, glazed eyes, angular, hollow cheeks. Nothing about the photo or about Sarah had changed. I need to call it a night. 

The crickets certainly had.

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Chapter Theme:

Read the full chapter here!

Also, next chapter drops tomorrow!

[noctusfury]

Archeological Find of the Century! || The Cave Runes on Dragon’s Edge (RTTE/HTTYD)

So, as you can probably guess, I'm going to be getting into the "Ancient" Sword and the Runes that are found inscribed on both the sword AND on the wall.

(I edited the screenshots so you, the viewer, can have a clear view of these pictures since the originals were in bad lighting.)

I was re-watching "Follow the Leader" (S3E3) when I saw the scene where Fishlegs discovers the sword and the script on the wall and became greatly intrigued. For some strange reason, I never really wondered until now about what the translation was, and if anyone had translated it (like what they did with Dagur's arm). However, after doing some research, I was surprised that nobody seemed to either notice the runes or come up with the idea of translating them.

So, with Noctus being Noctus doing what Noctus does best, he sets out to investigate and does some research! Research, research, research! One of the one ten things you get to know about me is that I LOVE to research and learn stuff. If I don't know something, I go research it until I do.

So, I once again re-watched the episode, this time making sure to do it on the computer so that I could snip various shots and angles with certain scenes directly showing the runes on the sword and wall. Then I went on Ribbet (a popular *and free* photo editor site) to spruce up the photos and lighten them up, since they were in a dark cave and with low lighting. I did the best I could without distorting the photos themselves, making sure that I tried to highlight the runes so I could see them clearly.

Once I did that, I then went to Pinterest to search for some Nordic Rune charts so that I could use them to help decipher and translate the runes on the sword and on the wall. I ended up downloading a few since they varied and there were different variations. Not counting the time spent on photo editing and looking for the right shots to snip (which took me the whole day), it took me about an hour or two to search for the right ones.

Fortunately, the runes on the sword and on the wall contained the same message, so, with the help of the charts, the brighter and clearer photos, and the sword (or certain parts of it), I was able to translate the entire message. Some runes were difficult to define due to the rough surface and the bad lighting in some areas (not to mention rock erosion and fading of some of the runes), but I was able to make them out perfectly. 

All-in-all, the whole project took me just about the whole day. And the translating took me about a couple of hours, mostly to double- and triple-check to make sure I missed nothing. The end result was this:

(If you wish to use this picture, please make sure to give me the credit and the shout-out.)

I do have to say, though, that it was moderately challenging. Not too much so, but enough. Some words like "shields" and "shafts" were split (as you can see in the top right corner of the message), so it took a few ticks to notice the actual words once I got the letters themselves translated.

Then the word "splint" caused me to scratch my head for a bit; unlike the two words, this one wasn't split awkwardly. So I decided to take some literary historian liberties and assumed that since we're dealing with shafts (as in arrows), it would be "splintered," rather than "splint," which seemed to fit with the rest of the script so far.

So after spending an hour or two translating, I ended up with this:

"With swords brandished, shields will be shattered; shafts will be splint(ered)..."

Makes sense, right? Sounds like a reference to a Saga or a Skaldic poem or even some sort of rune-enchantment to enhance the sword's abilities in battle (historically, Vikings did this quite a bit; they were weird like that.) Something totally and completely logical and practical.

But then, I come across THIS last part of the message, and this is what it looked like AFTER translation:

"...whd we wind we wewebofda."

I'm not joking. It LITERALLY says this. And this is AFTER THREE HOURS of re-checking FIVE times or more, on top of editing the photos even MORE in order and studying them meticulously and looking at EACH and EVERY rune and comparing it with the charts to make sure that I didn't make any mistakes. I didn't. This is REALLY what it says. Even if some of the P-shaped runes (which translate into "w" in English) were actually thorn "ᚦ" runes (pronounced as a sharp "th" sound, like "with" or "Thor"), and if some of the faded runes weren't what I assumed to be, the results would barely be any different than what I currently have.

I've even tried brightening and clarifying this particular picture of the sword in a hope of having a more definite view of the runes, only to be disappointed.

As you can see, the lower right quarter of the sword, where the runes that I am looking for are located, isn't clear enough for me to decipher, forcing me to depend on the runes carved on the wall. If you guys are able to make this more discernable and clear-cut, please let me know. But I'm not holding my breath; I'm fairly confident of my translation at this point.

"...whd we wind we wewebofda."

Now, I'm pretty sure you're laughing at this point from the sheer absurdity of the sentence (to be honest, I am, too). It can't be helped. It IS absurd. In fact, it sounds like something Snotlout would say after getting struck by lightning. And it seems contradictory that 2/3s of the message makes sense while the rest of it is in inconceivable gibberish babble! It boggles the gray cells to no end!

My Theory(ies):

Okay, so I have a few theories as to why this babble exists.

1) Whoever wrote this was drunk or buzzed,

2) Whoever wrote this was becoming senile,

3) Whoever wrote this was dying and was losing control of his ability to coordinate words,

4) DreamWorks either can't write or is trolling us big time!

(If you have any theories, give a shout!)

Whatever the case, it bugs the tar out of me. But I'm just going to let it go and just ignore that this last part exists. That's the beautiful thing with taking literary and creative liberties and having an imagination: you can come up with whatever best suits the story — so long as it makes sense, that is.

Conclusion:

So in conclusion, this is basically what the translation is in its entirety!

My theory is that the runes and sword could’ve belonged to the Twins’ uncle. Or this could’ve been even older, belonging to one of the Hamishes, or even Grimbeard or one of the first two Hiccups. Or perhaps some Viking whom we don’t know of.

However, this was bugging me the whole time, and I refuse to admit defeat, nor will I allow this translation to remain like this. Thus, I had already taken the liberty of creating several versions of this translation according to my discretion. You may choose which translation you prefer, or you can make your own. ^_^

Here ya are! Don’t they look so much better!! I think so!! ^_^

And if you're curious as to what rune charts I used, I'll happily give you them.

(Please keep in mind that letters such as "J", "C", "W", and a few others do not exist in the Old Norse language. Many of these letters are modern and didn't come up until the 1600-1800s. If you see them on these charts, they're more for guidance for modern users.)

In total, this project took me about 1-1/2 to 2 days to work on this — mostly having to do with research and editing pictures than actual translating. That in itself took about a half-day at most.

What about you? What do you think the real translation is?

Thank you for reading this article. My first one, in fact, for this book! Started with a BANG! I hope that you enjoyed it and that it was a blessing for you. Regardless if you ever had a curiosity about what these runes said or not, I hope that this now satisfies it and that you can leave this page with a new knowledge that can increase your love for this amazing Fandom.

Long Live the Night!

— Noctus Fury

[everystephoftheway]

camp cloudtop: chapter twenty-three

This can be found on ao3 as well.      

It was late into the night–or early into the morning depending on your preference of wording–and once again Percy found himself unable to sleep. Those dark circles under his eyes were not by choice; ever since the accident, he found it nearly impossible to get a full night’s sleep without some kind of aid, and since he was now working with children five days out of the week he didn’t think drinking himself into unconsciousness was the way to go. Instead, he simply endured the long hours; this time, with no Vex around, he remained in bed with his laptop, the bright light making him squint behind his glasses. 

He had been scrolling through forum after forum for the last two hours, trying his best to scrounge up any more information about Whitestone and the Briarwoods. Most of what he saw he already knew: Whitestone residents discussed the quick ascent the Briarwoods took in their city-state, wondering what their intentions were, where they came from. Many lamented the loss of the majority of the de Rolo family, and while some expressed pity and understanding for Percy and his sister and their decision to stay in Emon for the rest of their schooling, many called for new leaders, ones that didn’t run from their claim of leadership.

Percy rolled his eyes at the banality of it all, those who didn’t know what they were talking about talking anyway. It happened his whole life, gossip and rumors and assumptions. He had every intention of claiming his role as sovereign once he finished school, but he had zero intentions of telling the whole world that. It was none of their business. Besides, if he changed his mind it would be much easier to explain if he hadn’t announced it in the first place.

After a few more threads theorizing about Professor Anders and the group currently watching over Whitestone, Percy stopped at something significantly more interesting. The title of the thread simply read, “Is Lady Briarwood crazy?”, and when Percy clicked on the link, a distant but decently clear picture loaded on the first post. It was a picture of Delilah just outside the castle walls, stepping out of her carriage. A second picture zoomed in closer to her arms; while normally the woman wore long sleeves and equally long gloves, this picture showed her putting her gloves on, the skin on her forearm visible. Percy leaned in to try and get a closer look, zooming in on his screen, and found several symbols scribbled into her skin. Not onto. Into.

“What the fuck–” 

He immediately saved the photo to his computer and opened a photo editor, doing his best to get a sharper image. Once he couldn’t get it any better, he ran the photo into a search engine. The first few results were nothing but gibberish, but toward the bottom of the page he found a website not updated in years talking about an old figure he had never heard of.

“The Whispered One?” 

Even if there had been a chance he’d fall asleep prior to this, Percy threw that out of the window as he sat up, reached for his notebook, and started delving into whatever–or whoever–this Whispered One was.

X.X.X

Melodies from Scanlan’s lute reverberated out from the stage where he sat in front of a swarm of young kids, singing songs about farm animals and–if Keyleth heard correctly–poop covered farm land. She and Vax sat on the floor toward the back of the room, both of them with their legs crossed, piles of decorations and flyers in front of them. Pike and Grog were with them, their kids with Scanlan too; Pike was busy organizing flyers by neighborhood for people to pass out after work, while Grog was doing his best to cut out some stars out of yellow construction paper, but with office scissors in his big hands the stars came out looking more like deformed blobs.

“How are things going with Kash?” Vax looked up from the little flowers he was busy gluing together, dark eyes landing on Keyleth’s wide-eyed look of surprise.

“What?” She glanced over at Pike and Grog who tried very hard to act like they were minding their own business. “Oh. Things are fine,” she shrugged. “Nice.”

“That’s good. I hadn’t seen you two around each other the last couple days. I wanted to make sure you were alright.” 

Keyleth smiled softly at his care, her shoulders raising a bit as if she were a turtle trying to hide in her shell. “Thank you. Yeah, I’m okay. We…he had asked me to become official the other night. After we met at the diner.” 

There was a brief lift of surprise in Vax’s expression, but he was quick to school himself, his hands busy with some brown construction paper he seemed to be folding into a ring. “Oh. And did that not…?”

“I told him I wasn’t ready. There’s a lot going on, and I wasn’t sure–”

“You don’t have to justify your reasoning, Kiki. If you’re not ready then he should respect that.”

“He did. He does. But I think I hurt his feelings a little bit anyway.” 

Vax nodded. With the ring now glued together, he started gluing the little flowers around it. “Male pride is a funny thing. I’m sure he’ll come around, though. I doubt he wants to lose you.” He looked like he was going to continue, but Vax simply cleared his throat, smiled at her with an ease she wasn’t quite sure how he managed, and leaned forward to place the now completed flower crown gently upon her head.

“Oh.” She reached up to touch it ever so slightly, her smile blooming. “Thanks, Vax. It’s beautiful.” 

“Like I said,” he sat back on his hands. “I doubt he wants to lose you.”

“Hey, Vax!” Grog turned to Vax like an excited puppy. “Can I have one of those?” 

The group chuckled, and Vax leaned forward again, tapping Grog’s shoulder. “Sure, big man.”

[trentonsimblr]

Hi I was just wondering how you edit your sim portraits, they look amazing!!

I'm still quite new to simblr community and trying to figure out the best tips.

Thanks in advance:)

Hi Nonny! Thank you so much and welcome to the community!!

I have a post somewhere on my blog where I talked about how I used to edit my portraits prior to downloading gshade and was going to link it but I could not for the life of me find it. I used to just use the editing tool that came with my computer and messed around with the settings (mainly contrast, shadow, brightness, and vignette) until I found settings I liked.

Now I mainly use an edited version of this preset. Occasionally I may still go in and mess around with it in editor but most of the portraits I share are just gshade.

One of the biggest tips I have is to make sure there isn't too much lighting in the space that it washes out the sims/makes them glow or too dark. I also prefer to have all of the lights in the room set to white light so there isn't a yellow tint to the photo. I also have some of Luumia's light mods installed in my game (HERE). I use noGlo 2.1 and noBlu2 darker.

I hope this helped! I'm happy to answer any other questions you may have!

[on-noon]

Find The Words Tag

i got tagged by @saltysupercomputer, @elizaellwrites, @talesofsorrowandruin, @autumnalwalker, & @dogmomwrites

& I was challenged to find the words: place, shower, curl, memory, photo, Bless, Soul, Jam, Key, Wind, silver, stunt, hoops, hurry, blast, instill, physical, rational, character, muse, something, anything, nothing, and everything

(putting under a read more because 23 words is a lot)

i am tagging: @cljordan-imperium @my-cursed-prince @junypr-camus & whoever else wants to with some words I didn't find: bless, jam, stunt, hoops & instill

place (Countdown To Magic)

Fagonwi is the only other person working currently, besides me. She decided we didn’t need all those people, we could save on their wages. She’s terrible at managing this place. And what are the savings even for? It’s my dad’s money.

shower (Jacen & Tristan)

I wake up with Tristan going through some exercises. I use the refresher, take a shower.  Then I join Tristan in his exercise. I can't keep up. 

curl (fff168)

Warren curls around me, and we sit there and watch the ever-changing colors.

memory (forgetful)

When writing this, I had to decide to trust my memory. I put details in here I felt were false because of that. However, I didn't add any details I know to be fabrications, leading to this having only sparse details. I already feel I'm lying for ninety percent of the book, I can't add any details or dialogue I have no memory of.

photo (Archives of Flying & Falling Through Space)

They all ask me about my family, if I have a photo. I don’t have one of my whole family, none even with Leofric. I put up a photo of my mom. I had to find a photo of her for the funeral, and it turns out the only thing I could find was five years old and from her work.

Bless

not found. fun fact: Forgetfull might sort of be inspired by a Minecraft world I built with my brother?

Soul (prompt-based)

I always somewhat worried about the day I would switch bodies. My dad– I was eight when he switched. They didn’t meet up in time and it wasn’t until the next day that my dad got home. In a different body. Did that take some getting used to. Dad and his soul mate argued and parted ways. So that quickly broke the illusion that everything works out with your soulmate.

Jam

not found. fun fact: Rin (main character of forgetful, deciding that now) is a best-selling author

Key (Jacen & Tristan)

I start up my computer and scroll through job posts. All for someone with office skills, or science knowledge. Things Sabine has. I then open up my document and type out a few words of the rebel story. I check back on the job posts. Find a job in a factory, probably repetitive labor,  send in the resume. My doorbell rings. I should get Jacen a key.

Wind (Countdown To Magic)

The boy in his coat, scarf flapping in the wind runs up to me.

silver (Dragonless)

 I make it to the logic section, which has a library with books on all sorts of topics, most of them boring. I found room 18, the door is open. I walked in and see a girl with silver hair.

stunt

not found. fun fact: Rin has not maintained consistent contact with anyone for over a decade (need to figure out at least a vague outline). The closest she has to a consistent contact is her editor, who she sends her manuscripts to.

She hasn't seen any return messages from the editor, though

hoops

not found. fun fact: Rin went to boarding school

hurry (ChemistMan)

“Well, the fire was started in the chemistry lab, and you were the last one there, according to Professor Niatta,” Professor Lahise says. “I left in a hurry because I was late for lunch. Maybe I left the door unlocked,” I say

blast (The Search For Ezra)

There’s a loud laser blast. We must be under attack. I rush out, and see Sabine already at the guns shooting at a transport.

instill

not found. fun fact: The first boarding school Rin went to was failing, and closed down while she was attending

physical (Anti-Extinction)

I flew that ship back and forth from a small town to the world-ship to a house in the middle of a forest to the world-ship, cramming in as many people as physically fit.

rational

not found. fun fact: Rin's family lives on a boat!

character (Jacen & Tristan)

“Thanks.” he says. “I modeled them after the Ghost crew. No-one is modeled after a specific person. They’re all mash ups. I would never be able to write a character that’s my sister.”

muse

not found. fun fact: in the world of forgetful, wireless communications aren't really a thing. Her family, living on a boat, had no way to recieve communications from her boarding school.

something (Countdown to Magic)

Once we’re out of the room and turn a corner, Caspian Acker says, “If the reason you can’t do magic has something to do with your family, you can always talk to me about it. I’ll be able to figure something out.”

anything (Countdown to Magic)

“Did mom come home?” I ask. “No, not yet,” he says. “Say, do you know anything about our taxes this year? They were due last week.”

nothing (Countdown to Magic)

I extend out my arm, try to think about coaxing the spell back to life. I hope nothing happens. But water starts trickling out of the wall, and I get dizzy.

everything (Mars Culture)

“That’s good. Be kind to them, remember they just moved from everything they know,” she says. “I had to move too. And you’re giving me all these demands,” I say. “Moving planet is very different than moving from one colony to another. Everything is different here, food, gravity, the culture,” Ertan says.

[sonicenvy]

Ok so for all my windows using friends. We all know that new windows photos is dreadful and extra slow and bloaty on slower computers. There is a better solution for photo viewing on your PC, and as an added bonus this comes with a photo managing app that does many of the same things as adobe bridge. Oh and it's free.

What is this stunning software you ask?

Great question! Back in 2002, Google created a nifty piece of software known as Picasa Photos. They eventually killed this software in 2016 to focus on the infinitely more spying Google Photos (I'm not kidding about Google photos having privacy issues. They literally got sued over this in my home state of IL for violating our biometric privacy laws. I got paid $500 from Google for this btw). Moving on, Picasa slapped and that's why they killed it. Fortunately I am not the only Picasa Photo Viewer 3 enthusiast on the internet and there are others who saved the installation exe files. That said, I have helpfully found one that works which you can now download from my google drive here. Note that you cannot use the Google Photos/Google Account related options in the software anymore as Google has discontinued support for it.

Picasa has it all for the person who needs a good photo organizer:

finds ALL photos in your documents, downloads, and pictures folders for you.

ability to open and edit camera raw files

ability to add tags to photos, sort into folders, locate in the system etc.

basic photo editing tools with a good histogram. one of the best editing tools they have, which I would argue is almost on par with a tool from the adobe camera raw editor is the "neutral color picker" tool, where you can select an area in the picture to set a custom white balance in the image (easiest, best color correction). Also contains a primitive healing brush tool.

very good at red eye removal. I used that feature a lot back in 2005.

good printing options (easy to print multiple copies of the same photo on the same page in a variety of standard sizes.

ability to create a photo collage with multiple photos or a photo slideshow video

sort by person tool

lots of fun filters to apply to images if that's your thing.

add custom geotags to photos using another dated google product, google earth.

create a gift cd of photos or create poster sized versions of your photos that print over multiple sheets somewhat like the rastrabator.

the image viewer part is slick, lightweight and fast unlike windows photos. It allows you to quickly arrow key through your photos in a very nice way.

Allow me to show you some screenshots of this glorious piece of abandonware.

anyways, tldr; this piece of abandonware is the best, most glorious free photo viewer for windows, and as a person who's been using it for the last 18 years I highly recommend it to everyone who does not have adobe PS & Bridge and also anyone with windows who wants a quick way to preview photos in their folders.

[coochiequeens]

Another day another perverted man in a dress arrested for child abuse

A drag queen who performed under the name ‘Miss Rachel Rear’ has appeared in court on charges related to the possession and production of indecent and prohibited images of children.

Andrew Duncan, 24, is facing multiple counts related to 17 pieces of child sexual abuse materials he was found with. Some of the materials were media of real children, and others were illegal fantasy depictions of children engaged in obscene, pornographic acts.

Among the photographs found on Duncan’s devices were some classified as ‘Category A’ — the most serious type. Images and video in this category can depict penetrative sexual activity, bestiality, and/or sexual sadism involving children. 

Duncan is alleged to also have been in possession of and produced child sexual abuse materials via digital means, otherwise known as a “prohibited image.” In the United Kingdom, prohibited images are non-photographic media created by computer generation, cartoon, or drawing which feature pornographic and obscene depictions of children.

During his hearing at South Tyneside Magistrates Court on October 15, Duncan was granted unconditional bail, allowing him to live freely in the community until his next court appearance. He did not enter a plea on the three charges he is currently facing.

Duncan was well-known in Sunderland for his prolific performances as a drag queen, which included having appeared at Newcastle Pride in 2016, Drag World London in 2019, and various local venues and events on a regular basis. Performing as ‘Miss Rachel Rear,’ Duncan was previously awarded “Best in Show” at Newcastle Drag Idol in 2017.

In addition to his live performances, Duncan operated a number of social media accounts and produced YouTube videos on drag-related issues. 

On his Facebook, Duncan also featured a photo of himself he noted was taken by Haydn Brown — an artist who previously photographed drag queens for a charitable calendar, the proceeds of which went to trans youth charity Mermaids.

Reduxx has seen a public Facebook live video made by another drag performer in which there are allegations made that Duncan has previously been accused of theft and sexual assaults against fellow drag artists, and that further reports have been made to the police about the alleged attacks.

The video creator stated that he made the video to address The Sunderland Echo’s coverage of Duncan’s court case, and to distance himself from and condemn Duncan’s behavior.

During the live stream, the performer noted that some in Duncan’s social circle had discovered a Twitter profile on which Duncan was alleged to have posted and retweeted pedophilic content. The discovery of the Twitter account was what prompted Duncan’s colleagues to report him to police, which ultimately led to his arrest and the charges being brought.

The Sunderland Echo has reported that Duncan’s next court appearance is at Newcastle Crown Court on Tuesday, November 8, 2022.

By Anna Slatz Anna is the Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief at Reduxx, with a journalistic focus on covering crime, child predators, and women's rights. She lives in Canada, enjoys Opera, and kvetches in her spare time.

[oh-katsuki]

sorry to ask but i haven't been on tumblr for so long i almost forgot how to even put themes on, do you have any tutorial for it or some way to explain it simply?

omg don’t apologize!! ofc I can help u out!! im gonna include pictures and stuff so ill put it below the cut ;33

just as an fyi, my tumblr desktop theme looks like twitter so im sorry if that makes it confusing when u get to that part 😭

so if it’s the mobile theme /pop up theme you wanna edit and you’re on desktop, you’re just gonna click “blog settings” at the top of your blog by your ask button.

once you click that you’re gonna click “edit appearance” in the top right corner of the display box.

then just edit the theme, color, pfp, banner, and font however you want from there <333

if u wanna edit your tumblr desktop theme, go on desktop and click on your blog, then click where it says (blog name).tumblr.com.

if your blog doesn’t have that, just type it into your computer and go directly to it. once you’re on your desktop blog, you’re gonna click the symbol in the top right corner that looks like a paint palette (like this 🎨 but no color).

once you’re there you’re gonna be able to edit the color background of your theme, font, font size, background color, accent color, title color, headers, links, and all that fun stuff from the editor sidebar.

to browse other themes and post layouts, click “browse themes” at the top left of the edit bar and pick whichever one you like!!

you can also customize the color and photos of those themes too!! I find that it’s just best to goof around on there to get a good feel for it!!

welcome back to tumblr and I hope that this helps <333

[transeuropexpress]

Record Mirror interview with Ralf Hütter, conduced by Mark Cooper (1982)

I mean, let's start with the obvious, and perhaps the funniest thing about this interview. The photo on the first page is of Florian and they spelled 'Ralf' as 'Ralph' underneath it, despite the fact it's spelled correctly everywhere else. Some poor editor wasn't too interested, it seems... anyway!

"Ralf Hütter is the voice of Kraftwerk. He writes the words and gives the interviews, talking in the kind of perfect English which no English person can manage... Ralf is small and precise, giving an overwhelming impression of neatness. Like Kraftwerk, he likes a joke. Bad puns are his favorite and he underlines them with his eyebrows as if to explain, "I make joke" ... Polite and shy, Ralf is extremely reasonable and pleasantly ponderous -- like German bread."

Mark Cooper gives a strange first impression of Ralf, which I suppose isn't all that strange in itself for a Kraftwerk interview. First considering the header ("I'm not nuts," is he or isn't he?) which leads you to suspect Ralf is actually unusual, then being described as "ponderous" and "normal to the point of being weird," Cooper appears to have something of a grudge against him. In fact he admits to it, writing that "A part of me is convinced he's quite mad, another that he's dangerous," which... okay? I can't conceive of any reason why interviewers keep bringing up this concern of Ralf (and Florian) being dangerous somehow, whether that's in reference to the way they use their instruments or in their own persons, besides being a bit sensationalist. Kraftwerk was something new, something unlike anything else, and the members presented themselves in a very manicured and un-sensational way... so you have to make something up. Being clinically precise and intimidating fit right into both the German stereotype and idea of being robotic.

Which isn't to say it's all bad. Cooper also describes Ralf as having a sense of humor, which he acknowledges Kraftwerk incorporates into their music, and that he's polite, rather pretty, intelligent, and earnest. Ralf has nerves -- he's "Germanically human." Well, enough about the people, what about the music?

"In love with machines, Kraftwerk spends a good deal of time extolling a world in which humans would live happily and equally with machines and just about as much time portraying a world of frightening uniformity in which humans, like 'The Model,' have lost any individuality and become as machines"

Hmmm... This interview is from 1982, so through the album Computerworld. While rough, I feel, in description, it's right to say there's a split between Kraftwerk's depiction of machines as friend and foe. Computerworld especially explores the imminent use of computer technology to monitor citizens, but also revels in the possibilities of everyone having their own personal computing machine (I'm composing, I'm controlling || I beam myself into the future!). This isn't a new sentiment from them. Ich bin Ihr Deiner und Ihr Herr zugleich...

"Their music extols order to a point beyond the classical, to a point where I sometimes wonder whether the record's stuck, all the while evoking one constant emotion, loss."

I have to admit, when I first listened to Kraftwerk albums I also thought they could be repetitive. Now I hear them differently, through a lens of biased love and admiration, so.. well... anyway, I have to agree wholeheartedly with Cooper's last line there. Yes, Kraftwerk's music is uniquely melancholy. It's the best word for it, a sadness you can't really place. In hindsight, 'loss' could be a good word, the loss of a dreamed future that never came to be. Then, perhaps, the loss of a present reality which was freer and less monitored. Trans-Europe Express is so achingly romantic you can't help but let the post-card views flash through your mind, marred here and there with bombshell craters. And Radio-Activity... that needs its own post.

"I ask Ralf if he thinks he's normal. The question seems to shock him"

Well I should think so. asshole. Cooper says Ralf's being either 'clever or naive,' which is 'just like Kraftwerk.' Unfortunately I think he's right again because Ralf does admit to feeling out of place when he was a kid and I mean, he's never wanted to incorporate himself or his projects into the mainstream, really. Kraftwerk never worked with another band/artist to make music. Ralf openly explains that the aesthetics and values of Kraftwerk should remain distinctly separate from the flashiness of rock n roll, that Kraftwerk began to define their own (and Germany's own) type of music, specifically to break way from the popular anglo-American scenes.

Ralf: "I was out of touch with others... But since we made Kraftwerk and discovered our productivity by making our own music and pushing off the old classics, we found our normalcy. We closed ourselves in and started the Kling Klang studio and asked, 'Where are we? What do we want to play? What is happening?' Now we're social workers, we have a holistic approach to our work."

Alright. I'll skip the armchair psychology but finding normalcy by closing yourself off from the world and doing it your own way... then there's the disregard of 'old classics' which might be a bit of arrogance coming through because I know for a fact Kraftwerk admires the work of many influential past artists, though he may just mean they were throwing off the shackles of expectation and formulae.

"Kraftwerk are more like some weirdo's notion of the normal than the scruffy, day-to-day normality that most of us endure. Ralf: "It's very basic and so very honest. You can't call it anything else but work."

When I go to hell there'll be a Kraftwerk journalist tied to a chair and a demon will hand me a baseball bat or other blunt instrument. Or maybe that's heaven? Anyway stop being so mean. Even if you're correct. Or be more accurate -- I wouldn't say Kraftwerk is truly trying to look "normal." Their aesthetics are polished and purposeful, as much a message as any punk rock group wearing patched-up secondhand leather jackets. The people behind Kraftwerk aren't supposed to be part of the spectacle, really -- they're made almost to blend in with their machines, appear the same as each other, give the impression of mechanical perfection as much as human care to human sense of style. None of which is overwhelmingly normal to me. But yes, they look more 'normal' with their shirts and slacks than traditional bands, and yet much neater than your average person on the street.

Then there's Ralf's philosophy on work. Musikarbeiter.

Ralf: "We are suggesting that people re-think their whole working situation, co-operate with one another and become productive. This is how work should be whether you are a musician, a journalist or a dentist."

A little ironic for the guy who just said he closed himself off to work on his music. But there's three other people in the Kling Klang Studio at that time, so, point still stands? He really wants the perception that he and the other members of Kraftwerk are workers, and derides the common notion of what working is. Ralf calls it slavery, says that the promise of a holiday doesn't excuse ten months of hard and unfulfilling work. But he and the other Twerkers, if you will, go into the studio for 'eight to ten hours a day, each shift,' so what gives? Like he said earlier, they do holistic work. Kraftwerk defines its own way forward instead of 'conforming,' as Cooper writes, and it would be better for everyone if the working world allowed for human expression and creativity, the ability to experience art in a way more than superficially observing it, if people could build from the ground up instead of scaffold the crumbling foundation. Well now that's very nice, if it were feasible. Cooper writes that "In insisting that they are workers like everybody else, they only succeed in making 'work' glamorous -- their work." And I have to agree to an extent. Yes, making music is work, and yes, making music is an occupation far removed from the realities of the average working man. It's easy to say from the outside how things should be, and I don't mean to say Ralf is wrong -- capitalism is hell -- but I always that the sentiment was a little self-important. What I'm doing is ideal.

"I tell him that, in the context of pop, remaining faceless is inevitably just another ploy, a means of making people more interested in them than less. Kraftwerk are in danger of becoming a gimmick. Kraftwerk pretend to reduce their making of pop music to the level of all health jobs."

I won't speak too much to this point because I constantly chide myself for finding the members of Kraftwerk fucking fascinating, precisely because I know just enough to be curious and not enough to stop speculating.

Ralf: "We were always very rhythmical. We always hated 'electronic' music whose connotations were intellectual only. We introduced the body to electronic music." And the heart? "The heart is a muscle so you could say we introduced the muscle." This is one of Ralf's jokes.

I'd like to know what electronic music he's referring to here, because I know that Karl is a big fan of Stockhausen, whose music I wouldn't necessarily dance to at the club. Also I just really like the quote about introducing the body to electronic music, because it's very close to the man-machine concept and it's kinda hot

"Unfortunately this attitude isn't reflected in Kraftwerk's own stage show in which the four figures of Kraftwerk operate their studio onstage while their audience stare on in awe and, mostly, in silence."

This is supposed to be calling out hypocrisy. It refers to how Ralf is quite comfortable in discos because there's no real ego to it and 'the spotlight is on everybody.' Then again, how on earth are you supposed to do a live show otherwise? And I think the whole 'looking so normal it's weird' thing we talked about earlier was supposed to alleviate some of the attention, too.

Ralf: "We are very anarchic, or rather, maybe we are what comes after chaos. And our machine-like state is maybe a step to being born in a new society. By bringing machines back to life again, we make them our friends. We treat them cooperatively as an equal part of the working process."

Wont lie "Maybe we are what comes after chaos" goes hard as hell. Because it's almost true, with how he's always talking about rebuilding a cultural life after it was destroyed by WW2. And then I'd like to interpret the machines as friends as almost a 'keep your enemies closer' type of thing. Computers and technology are an inevitable counterpart of human life and work, so best to get to know them now before they're too complex to comprehend. Keep them friendly, domesticated, in the interest of good.

Ralf: "Being brought up in Germany, there's not much that anyone can tell us about order. Order in Germany wasn't invented by the Nazis -- it was there before and it continues afterwards."

He said shut the hell up for once about the Nazis I'm tired of hearing the same question over again

"And yet there is something dubious about this new world, something cynical and overarranged, something altogether too healthy.. Ralf: "We're not interested in alcohol and other forms of darkening your mind... otherwise you're just abusing yourself. We have done this but now we have more confidence in the things we do." "An order beyond the older order, a simple and productive world of clean humans and clean machines."

I can tell you right goddam now that Ralf is being pretentious because Karl definitely wrote about getting quite drunk and wondering how Ralf could maintain such self-control. So the 'we' in his quote or more of a 'me.' On what Cooper writes: again, it's that melancholia just now mixed with his own reservations. Ralf is presenting a very orderly picture (which isn't quite reality) and I can imagine it may be disconcerting to hear in conjunction with music which, when first released, sounded beyond computerized, although after his mention of Nazis I feel his description is getting a little too referential.

Ralf: "In Germany there is a saying, 'If your morals are ruined, you can live quite easily.' The word 'morality' implies a certain codex from Hollywood and we work outside that. In German music we are observers, more concerned with mechanics and realism."

Kraftwerk's music never paints a clear picture (except for the condemnation of nuclear energy, although after the original release of Radio-activity which had no such decision) of the subjects it discusses. It leaves you guessing, it leaves you thinking, it makes you do the work. American media hates that. American media wants a good guy and a bad guy, demands a clear moral picture (Hays Code, anybody?) and as such limits what the public consumes, because artists can get blocked at the door. Of course, it's not just American media, but we're naming Hollywood here, and I'm thinking of modern Disney too.

Ralf: "We are not macho or anything, we are more androgynous."

Very swag ☑️ Electronic waves are an androgynous medium, after all... and to be real, this is an important part of Kraftwerk's aesthetic. The humans aren't supposed to be important, so who cares what they are? Kraftwerk separates itself as much as possible from anglo-American music scenes, so the forceful masculinity that's often perpetrated is thrown out the window. Androgyny and ambiguous messages in their music go hand-in-hand.