#best day of Baz��s life

[christian-oc-tournament]

Please vote based on the picture AND the description!

Gerdie [Far from home @gadzooksgalore]

Gerdie is a character from my work-in-progress story "Far From Home," which I’m hoping to publish as a trilogy someday (Lord willing)! Gerdie is an alien in his late 20's who works as an intergalactic merchant alongside his coworker and spaceship captain, Baz. He fills the role of a mechanic/engineer on the ship, though he shares more generic duties with Baz as well. Gerdie is gentlemanly, well-spoken, and a comforting presence. He tends to be patient and understanding, and often acts as a peacekeeper or mediator when things get hairy, but he's prone to worry (and be vocal about it) in uncertain situations. His species is most known for the feathery crests on their heads, which rise and fall based on emotion, much like a cockatoo. Gerdie is very much an uncle figure and just wants the best for the people he cares about. He loves coffee and can't start his day without it!

Ferir [8 men @starrystories2]

Ferir is the niece of lady Swyno and Tad's cousin. After the death of her mother and the disappearance of her older sister, Ferir is the next matron of house Traim. However, with the power her aunt possesses, no one would even consider ending Lady Swyno's regent rule of the house. Not even Ferir stands up to her aunt in this matter although she has recently come of age. Since her sister's disappearance, Lady Swyno has used the life of Ferir's mentally ill father as leverage against her. Since thenm Feir has been forced to inact her aunt's dirtest and most secret plots against her will. This has sigificantly damaged her as a person. She is solem and pesimistic, but tries to find little ways to bear her existance. She enjoys painting, or sketching and also feeds the crows she comes across.

[jiangwanyeehaw]

What's the origin of your blog's title? It's Jiang Wanyin (a character from MDZS) and Yeehaw merged together.

Favorite Fandoms: Angel Sanctuary, Berserk, Heaven Official's Blessing and The Silmarillion

OTP(s) + shipname: Rosiel/Katan, Griffith/Guts – Griffguts, Hua Cheng/Xie Lian – Hualian, Mairon/Melkor – Angbang, Maedhros/Fingon – Russingon

Favorite color: Pastel Pink and Pastel Blue

Favorite game: Pokemon games, Uncharted 4, Detroit Become Human and Assassin's Creed Revelations

Song stuck in your head: Baz Mano Kashti by Morteza (singer from Iran)

Weirdest habit/trait? I have very strict routines I need to stick to in order to be happy about my day. Also just my fixations. Incapable of holding normal conversations when I can also talk about some Book or show. I have color palettes for my life (pastels or just black). I mostly wear things people would consider costumey.

Hobbies: Writing, Reading, CONSUMING STORIES IN GENERAL, cosplaying, sewing, drawing, working out, learning about faeries and elves (irl and in stories)

If you work, what's your profession? I don't work yet but I want to study art history and history in general.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I‘d love to just be an author since I started writing pretty much after I'd learned the alphabet

Something you're good at: Being creative, writing stories and making characters, taking care of my mental illness which I am super proud of, looking like a girl

Something you're bad at: I have dyscalculia and am in fact so bad at math I can't really understand the concept of most numbers other than your regular 12345 ... I am also really bad at normal, neurotypical interactions. I learned small talk like three years ago. Actually being a girl

Something you excel at: writing and creating characters

Something you love: my fiancee, my friends, my family, fandoms, books, shows etc, fashion, color palettes and aesthetics, Sanrio

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: my story, mainly my ocs because they mean so much to me, the silm, especially the Noldor and Angband, Berserk, WHY HUALIAN ARE THE BEST COUPLE IN THE HISTORY OF COUPLES AND EVERYONE SHOULD READ TGCF

Something you hate: Arrogance, bullying, people who always need to be right, emotional blackmail, fandom/character antis and hate

Something you collect: Merch, Clothes, Books, Decor

Something you forget: breathing. for real. It sucks lol

What's your love language? Verbally expressing my love, telling people about my interests, gifts, cuddling

Favorite movie/show: Mean Girls, Gilmore Girls, Berserk Movies, Heaven Official's Blessing and The Untamed

Favorite food: Chicken Biryani

Favorite animal: Axolotls and Penguins

Are you musical? Only by intuition, I was never taught anything about music except in school and that I forgot about pretty quick. I do sing okay apparently.

What were you like as a child? Shy but lively once you got to know me.

Favorite subject at school? English, Biology and Art (only in the OBERSTUFE tho because then we also talked about techniques and famous artists)

Least favorite subject? PE and Math. For obvious reasons.

What's your best character trait? I am an empath so I get most people's issues and I can listen quite well

What's your worst character trait? I have difficulty trusting people's good intentions

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? I would be male.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Mohammed pbuh and Oscar Wilde

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

Shen Yuan of no Relation (Shen Yuan/Luo Binghe from SVSSS)

Sauron's Diary (Angbang, The Silmarillion)

Till our Compass stands still (Hualian, TGCF)

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

Tar Mairon by awawawwa0

Maedhros and Fingon by busymagpie

Hua Cheng by roremy

Pretty much all of mimimar's hualian

tagging anyone who wants to do this <3

Get to know your Mutuals

Hiiii 💞 since I've found so many new lovely mutuals here I've created a little tag game (which as been around for ages) ^///^

This kinda got out of control... uh-oh.

Indulge me, will you? 🤗

What's the origin of your blog's title? It's a quote by Oscar Wilde :D

Favorite Fandoms: Dragon Age, The Silmarillion/The Lord of the Rings,

OTP(s) + shipname: Fenrisxm!Hawke (fenhawke) Melkor x Mairon (angbang) Thor x Loki (thorki)

Favorite color: Purple, purple and purple!

Favorite game: Dragon Age and Fatal Frame x3

Song stuck in your head: Elrond's council (but it's a musical) XDDD by Elf Tale Films on Youtube 😆

Weirdest habit/trait? Oh gosh, I'm made out of NOTHING but weird traits... but I guess the weirdest is that I must correct every spelling/grammar mistake I hear/read in both English and German? (I happen to write maaany typos on my phone so that's really exhausting!) Or that I explain maths even to the most reluctant and math-hating people without their permission and despite their explicit orders to "stop right now!!!"?! Or that I run in gallopping archs like a (crazy) horse around my apartment when writing? Or.... 😭

Hobbies: Writing, belly dancing and playing the violin. Very inexpertly so.

If you work, what's your profession? I wanted to become a professional torturer but my parents said no, so I chose the next best thing and became a teacher.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? A teacher. (I'm pathetic.) I'd teach Math, English and German literature. (Which I do.) And physics. (Which I don't.)

So sad. Also, living the dreeeeam!!! 🎸🎸🎸

Something you're good at: Losing at MarioKart, being notoriously unpunctual and math. Also, I can read really fast xP

Something you're bad at: Remembering things... or names... or appointments... or anything. Also, sharing or talking about my writing.

Something you excel at: Creating chaos and overworry about my writing. Or anything else, really. Also, I'm a REALLY fast reader! 😜🤪😝

Something you love: Literature, books, my students, my family, my cat, and books and literature! 📚💗

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: Literature/books, Dragon Age, my students, my original novel (with many pauses inbetween since, like I said, I'm also bad at talking about my own writing)

Something you hate: Arrogancy, bullying and olives. Oh, and strawberries.

Something you collect: Books and blunders.

Something you forget: Everything. Except my own name. At least I hope so.

What's your love language? Terrible, ironic, biting sarcasm. And movie/literature quotes.

Favorite movie/show: Alien by Ridley Scott <3

Favorite food: Pizza, ramen and pasta of all kinds x3

Favorite animal: Horses and leopards, roarrr! 🐎🐆

Are you musical? I do play the violin and sing. Having said that, I should add that I'm not very musical, after all...

What were you like as a child? Both shy and bold AND an insufferable know-it-all! 😏

Favorite subject at school? Maths <3 (you may hate me, now)

Least favorite subject? Geography, religious education and PE

What's your best character trait? Er, I'm a good friend in need (at least I think so XD)

What's your worst character trait? Perfectionism??? Oh wait, I think I can express this in a more refined way, let me try that again...

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? If I'd be in charge, you'd be all fucking freezing to death while I frolick happily in the snow and bring another brain concussion upon myself by my clumsy ice-skating skills! Winter would be SO fucking cold and SO magnificent you'd all hate me for it!!! ❄️☃️🥶

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Wolfgang Goethe (yes, I omitted the "von", in your face, dude!) and Agatha Christie x3

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

In Absentia by AwkwardAnnie (Angbang)

Lunch in Thedas by Kaerwrites (Fenhawke)

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go by TheAngryKimchi (Thorki)

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

(sorry for the flood!)

Mairon by Krabat

Melkor and Mairon by Krabat

Fenris by raviollies

Fenhawke by Marikdraw (original link does no longer exist ;_;)

✨Tagging @saintstars @gracefallingart @gauntletgirlie @melkor-did-nothing-wrong @sauron-kraut @althanair @privatebooth @just-an-elf-with-the-socks @trash-ainu @winds-of-zephyr416 @barbex @aidanthecryptid @teine-mallaichte @pinkfadespirit @spicywarl0ck @jiangwanyeehaw @booksinwinter @midnottart @maironscrotchlessbreeches @melkorwashere @melkors-defense-attorney @trash-ainuand @elronds-library @teine-mallaichte @thorkidorki @theangrykimchi and @glowing-blue-feathermage ✨

... and everyone else, of course, who feels like playing ❣️

As always, NO PRESSURE, just fun, my friends! <3

[movies-picks]

Best Movies of 2022

  Avatar: The Way Of Water

IMDb:7.5/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:77%| Trailer

Director: James Cameron

Synopsis: Jake Sully and Ney'tiri have formed a family and are doing everything to stay together. However, they must leave their home and explore the regions of Pandora. When an ancient threat resurfaces, Jake must fight a difficult war against the humans.

Awards: AFI Movies of the Year, Critics' Choice Movie Award for Best Visual Effects

Decision to leave

IMDb:7.3/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:93%| Trailer

Director: Park Chan-wook

Synopsis: A detective investigating a man's death in the mountains ends up meeting and developing feelings for the dead man's mysterious wife in the course of his dogged sleuthing.

Awards:

Elvis

IMDb:7.4/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:77%| Trailer

Director: Baz Luhrmann

Synopsis: Whilst on a mission to transform the mainstream rock and roll culture of the USA, singer Elvis Presley uses his fame to highlight racism within the country.

Awards:

Everything everywhere all at once

IMDb:8/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:95%| Trailer

Director: Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert

Synopsis: A Chinese immigrant gets unwillingly embroiled in an epic adventure where she must connect different versions of herself in the parallel universe to stop someone who intends to harm the multiverse.

Awards:

RRR

IMDb:7.9/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:95%| Trailer

Director: S. S. Rajamouli

Synopsis: A fearless revolutionary and an officer in the British force, who once shared a deep bond, decide to join forces and chart out an inspirational path of freedom against the despotic rulers.

Awards:

Tár

IMDb:7.7/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:90%| Trailer

Director: Todd Field

Synopsis: Renowned musician Lydia Tár is days away from recording the symphony that will elevate her career. When all elements seem to conspire against her, Lydia's adopted daughter Petra becomes an integral emotional support for her struggling mother.

Awards:

The Banshees of Inisherin

IMDb:7.8/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:97%| Trailer

Director: Martin McDonagh

Synopsis: On a remote island off the coast of Ireland, Pádraic is devastated when his buddy Colm suddenly puts an end to their lifelong friendship. With help from his sister and a troubled young islander, Pádraic sets out to repair the damaged relationship by any means necessary. However, as Colm's resolve only strengthens, he soon delivers an ultimatum that leads to shocking consequences. 

Awards:

The Batman

IMDb:7.8/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:85%| Trailer

Director: Matt Reeves

Synopsis: Batman is called to intervene when the mayor of Gotham City is murdered. Soon, his investigation leads him to uncover a web of corruption, linked to his own dark past.

Awards:

The Fabelmans

IMDb:7.7/10 | Rotten Tomatoes:92%| Trailer

Director: Steven Spielberg

Synopsis: Young Sammy Fabelman falls in love with movies after his parents take him to see "The Greatest Show on Earth." Armed with a camera, Sammy starts to make his own films at home, much to the delight of his supportive mother.

Awards:

The Woman King

IMDb: 6.7/10 | Rotten Tomatoes: 94%| Trailer

Director: Gina Prince-Bythewood

Synopsis: In the 1800s, a group of all-female warriors protects the African kingdom of Dahomey with skills and fierceness unlike anything the world has ever seen. Faced with a new threat, Gen. Nanisca trains the next generation of recruits to fight against a foreign enemy that's determined to destroy their way of life.

Awards:

[bringinbackpod]

We had the pleasure of interviewing JD Simo over Zoom video! The Chicago-born, now Nashville transplant, JD Simo is like a one-man crusade dedicated to keeping music real, raw, and honest. No matter the setting and no matter his role (whether it’s wingman or bandleader) J.D.’s presence infuses the situation of the moment with the music that’s been fueling him pretty much his whole life, spiced with influences that straddle both decades and dimensions. As a songwriter, guitarist, and producer he has worked with the likes of Jack White, Tommy Emmanuel, Luther Dickinson, Dave Cobb, Blackberry Smoke, and even been a member of Grateful Dead founder Phil Lesh' "Phil & Friends". JD Simo recently released his newest record, ‘Songs From The House of Grease’. The album is a collection of recordings from two days with his band at his home studio in Nashville, The House of Grease. JD recently was featured as the sole guitarist for Baz Luhrmann's Elvis. The soundtrack was nominated for the Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media category in the 2023 Grammys, and features JD on 12 of the tracks, including Doja Cat's "Vegas" which is nominated for best Rap Performance. JD will be heading out on a duo tour with drummer and longtime collaborator Adam Abrashoff. The tour starts in Cleveland, OH on February 17. We want to hear from you! Please email Hello@BringinitBackwards.com. www.BringinitBackwards.com #podcast #interview #bringinbackpod #JDSimo #SongsFromTheHouseofGrease #ElvisFilm #DojaCat #NewMusic #Zoom #NewMusic Listen & Subscribe to BiB https://www.bringinitbackwards.com/follow/ Follow our podcast on Instagram and Twitter! https://www.facebook.com/groups/bringinbackpod

[suometar]

2022 GQ Men of the Year Awards: Aussie actor Dacre Montgomery on mentor Hugh Jackman | The Daily Telegraph

Stranger Things actor Dacre Montgomery reveals how a shock phone call from Hugh Jackman turned his world around.

Australian actor and Stranger Things star Dacre Montgomery never expected a missed call to change his life – or that it would present Hugh Jackman as his role model.

Montgomery, who experienced a stratospheric rise to fame after starring as Billy Hargrove on the global Netflix sci-fi hit, credits Jackman with helping him navigate his way through stardom after the Greatest Showman A-lister unexpectedly reached out to him.

Australian actor and Stranger Things star Dacre Montgomery never expected a missed call to change his life – or that it would present Hugh Jackman as his role model.

Montgomery, who experienced a stratospheric rise to fame after starring as Billy Hargrove on the global Netflix sci-fi hit, credits Jackman with helping him navigate his way through stardom after the Greatest Showman A-lister unexpectedly reached out to him.

“Randomly during the pandemic I had this missed call from an American number so I left a voice message and it was Hugh Jackman,” Montgomery recalls.

He says that initial contact has become a source of inspiration and advice for him.

“He’ll make time even after finishing a show on Broadway,” he says of Jackman. “He’ll ring at 10pm at night and be like, ‘Here’s what I think you should do’.”

For Montgomery, meeting men he has looked up to is a reminder there are really great, genuine people out there – no matter how famous they are – and we can all strive to be that genuine.

He says Jackman defines what it is to be a modern-day role model for men and he hopes to pass the wisdom to other young Australian men.

Montgomery is in Sydney to attend the GQ Men of the Year awards in association with BOSS.

The black-tie event will unite leaders from across industries in one room to celebrate a year of incredible achievements.

Past winners have included luminaries such as Jacob Elordi, Mick Fanning, Kim Jones, Troye Sivan, Chris Hemsworth, Baz Luhrmann, Adam Briggs, Jackman and Montgomery.

“I have no words for how flattering it is to be acknowledged by this community and this country,” a then 23-year-old Montgomery from Perth told the GQ Men of the Year awards audience in 2018.

Reflecting on his recognition as 2018’s TV Actor Of The Year, Montgomery this week says: “Sitting there in the audience after a reasonably successful year, I felt extremely fortunate.”

Montgomery says being a good role model doesn’t have to be complicated. He tells young actors who contact him: “Don’t focus on all the noise that’s around you, focus on the job and focus on being a nice person that rocks up on time. Everything else is peripheral.”

He says his advice is simple no matter who you are or what your job entails:

Don’t let others distract you from being yourself.

Focus on doing great things.

Always strive to be kind and the best version of yourself.

Montgomery feels honoured to return for the awards, which have been on hiatus since 2019, because he knows they will inspire so many.

“The GQ (MOTY) awards, to me, is my favourite award ceremony because it’s celebrating so many different men and women across different fields,” Montgomery says.

“The ceremony is unique for that fact.

“There are few other awards that bring together athletes, actors, artists, designers, musicians, and politicians to celebrate their year of achievements.

“The one thing that unifies them? They are all role models.”

GQ Australia editor in chief Jake Millar agrees.

“It might seem a bit rich to hold an awards evening celebrating men in 2022, especially when there have been so many examples of men behaving badly over the past few years,” Millar says.

“But that’s exactly the point. Perhaps more than ever before, young guys need people they can look up to, figures who are achieving success not just professionally, but personally, as well-rounded individuals.

He says masculinity is constantly shifting, and male role models – in all variations – are imperative to help the next generation figure out the sort of men they want to be.

He describes GQ Sportsman of the Year nominee Harry Garside as a perfect example.

Garside is a former plumber and professional boxer with a mullet – a pretty traditional stereotype of manliness.

But he’s also a ballet dancer who experiments with gender in his fashion and is leading the charge when it comes to openness about mental health.

“Leaders like Garside are changing the definition of masculinity for the better,” Millar says.

The 2022 GQ Men of the Year Awards in association with BOSS will be presented on Wednesday at Crown Sydney.

It will be covered live on the night, on gq.com.au.

A special Men of the Year collector’s edition magazine will be available in The Australian newspaper on Friday.

The magazine will include features and photo shoots that go behind the scenes with the winners and tell the stories of their incredible years.

For all of the details on this year’s awards visit: gq.com.au/moty

[genevievemd]

Wave of Gray

Book: Open Heart: Second Year (post ch 11) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Genevieve McClure) Word Count: 1610 Rating: G Category: Ethan POV, angst-ish, sort of fluff Trope(s):

Summary: Ethan deals with his feelings after the attack. 

Warnings: none

A/N: Okay, fair warning, this is kinda similar to my other post 11 fic, Epiphany, but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head, so I wrote it anyway. And if figure they’re both my fics and they’re similar who cares. I wrote them. I’m copying myself lol 

He watches Mirani and Hirata leave the office. Tired waves goodbye with tired steps. The past twenty-four hours have been exhausting to say the least. The entire hospital working on empty after the traumatic events of the past day. 

It’s the main reason Ethan had given Baz and June a few days off. They’d worked tirelessly through the night to find a cure for Genevieve and her friend, and deserved to rest. 

He looks down at the watch on his wrist, it’d been exactly six hours since Gen had been released from isolation. Since she ran out of the room and straight into Ethan’s arms. Both overcome with tears of relief. 

Ethan hadn’t told her, and he probably never would, but he was convinced she was about to die. The odds weren’t in their favor, all logic and reason pointed to the worst possible outcome. 

A life without the radiant light that was Genevieve McClure. 

Ethan sinks down into his desk chair, eyes on the seat at the conference table that Gen always sits in. Every part of him is screaming for him to run to her room. To see her alive and breathing with his own two eyes. 

But there’s no need to, she’s safe, surrounded by her friends. And come morning, her family as well. 

His presence would be pointless, unnecessary. 

He should go home, take a hot shower and crawl into bed. Make up for the sleep he lost watching Gen the night before. 

She’d told him to rest as well, before she drifted off to sleep, nestled as best she could in his arms. But no matter how hard he tried, Ethan couldn’t. He sat there, as the hours ticked by, counting every breath she took and every heartbeat on the monitor. 

Each one of them a reminder that she hadn’t left him yet. That she was still alive, still fighting. 

It was, without a doubt, the worst night of his life. And one that came with an epiphany. 

He’d fallen for her. Fallen harder than he ever wanted to, past the point of no return.

There’s a knock on the office door, three sharp taps that pull him from his thoughts. 

“I heard you gave Mirani and Hirata a few days off.” Naveen stands in the doorway, looking just as exhausted as Ethan feels.

“I’m sorry I didn’t run it by you first. You’re the chief, I just assumed after last night — they deserve a few days rest.” 

“You’re right, they do.” Naveen walks to the conference table, throwing his jacket and briefcase down before sitting. 

Unknowingly, in Genevieve’s chair. 

It throws Ethan into a whirlpool of anxiety and fear. A rush of panicked thoughts and what-ifs. 

“What is it, Ethan?” Naveen tilts his head with concern, eyes narrowed. 

“Nothing.” He clears his throat, looking away to hide the fear on his face. 

There’s no reason for fear, Gen is alive. Safe and sound. She’ll occupy her chair soon enough. He doesn’t have to fill her spot on the team or go a day without her terrible jokes and infectious laugh. 

She’s coming back. 

“Ethan?” Naveen raises an eyebrow, no doubt looking right through him. 

“I…” Ethan takes a deep breath, “Can I speak with you as a friend and not as the chief of medicine?” 

“Of course. What’s on your mind?” 

“Genevieve.” 

Naveen smiles, “Yes, I knew that much. More specifically?” 

“How do I -- how do I get over this fear that she’s still in danger?” 

“With time. It isn’t everyday you have a colleague --”

“She’s more than that.” He cuts Naveen off, a sharpness to his voice. As though it’s insulting to assume Gen is just his colleague and nothing more.

Because she is more. So much more. 

“I know. I wasn’t sure that you’d become aware of that yet.” 

“I have. Believe me, I have.” Ethan runs a hand down his face, willing his heartbeat to settle. 

But he can’t get the images out of his head. Flashes of her face clouded with fear, the paleness of her skin, her struggling to breath, looking lifeless as she fell asleep. 

“She almost died last night.” His voice is hoarse, broken.

“Yes. She did.” 

“I could have lost her.” 

“But you didn’t. She’s just down the hall.” Naveen regards him thoughtfully, “Have you seen her since she got out of isolation?” 

“No.” 

“Well, what are you waiting for? The only way to ease your mind is to see her.” 

“She’s with her friends. I can wait.” 

“No. You can’t.” Naveen stands from the table, walking over to Ethan’s desk. He offers a smile, pained and troubled. “It’s okay to feel the way you do, Ethan. To be traumatized by it all. I think everyone here is feeling it in some way. I am.” 

Ethan sighs, leaning back in his chair. He knows Naveen is right. They all lost two colleagues last night, and almost lost two more. Their once safe hospital had turned into a war zone. It was only logical that every doctor and nurse was struggling in some way. 

But he isn’t just any doctor. He should be able to put aside his troubles, keep the line between personal and professional clear. He did with Naveen. While his mentor was dying, Ethan had been able to compartmentalize, and he should be able to do it now. 

“It’s ridiculous that I can’t stop thinking like this. She’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is…” 

“Can I be frank?” 

“Of course.” 

“The reason you can’t push it all aside, as you normally would, is because you’re falling in love with her. You have been since last year.” He raises a hand, stopping Ethan before he can speak. “You care for Genevieve a great deal, and she almost died in your arms. You, my boy, have every right to feel the way you do. To be afraid, because as you said, you almost lost her.” 

All he can do is nod, struck speechless by Naveen’s words. The truth of them weighing down on his shoulders.

“Now, get up out of that chair and go to her room. See that she’s alive and breathing.” Naveen turns to leave, walking back to the table to grab his things. He looks back at Ethan once he’s at the door, a smirk on his aging face. “You know what else she’s doing?” 

“What?” 

“Waiting for you. Not just for you to go to her room, but for you to come to your senses and confess your feelings.”

“I did last night. More or less.” 

“Really?” Naveen’s smile grows. “It’s about time.” 

“I know.” Ethan can’t help but laugh, but it falls flat when he remembers Genevieve’s face when he’d told her. 

The regret and longing in the shadows of her eyes. 

“Go to her.” Naveen urges once more before leaving. 

Ethan stays in his chair, waiting for the voice in his head to talk him out of seeing Gen. But it never comes, the only voice he hears is the same he’s heard for the last six hours. 

Taking a deep breath, he leaves the office, shutting off the lights. He takes his time walking to her room. Making sure the corridor is as empty as it can be. 

The panic rises again when he’s at her door, a barrage of scenarios Ethan knows aren’t true, but make his heart rate quicken nonetheless. 

He collects himself the best he can, straightening his coat before entering the room. 

She’s alone, staring out the window, no doubt wrestling her own demons. 

“Dr McClure, how are you feeling?” 

Gen turns her head at his words, face lighting up in a way he hasn’t seen in a long time. It makes him regret his formal entry, though she clearly didn’t care. 

She’s as happy to see him, as he is her. 

“Hi.” Gen all but whispers, smiling brightly. 

“Hi.” He returns her smile, the ache in his chest dissolving with every second their gaze stays connected. 

Ethan closes the door to her room, then the blinds on the window. Creating a secret sanctuary for them. 

“I thought you’d have gone home by now.” 

“Not yet.” He walks to her bedside, sitting on the edge by her feet.

“You look tired.” 

“I’m fine.” 

She reaches for him then, her hand grasping his as tightly as she can. He inches closer at her touch, moving until he’s by her hip. His free hand reaching up to move the hair from her face. 

They say nothing, both basking in the closeness, the ability to touch without plastic in the way. 

“I’ve never been so scared in my life.” Ethan whispers, the hand holding hers squeezing tightly.

“I’m okay now.” 

“I know.” 

Gen sits up, letting go of his hand to touch his face. Her fingers are cold, as they always are, and he closes his eyes at the feeling. 

She’s alive. She’s safe. He never has to go a day without her. 

He feels her move, scooting closer before resting her forehead against his own. The simple gesture bringing tears to his eyes. His heart beating rapidly once more. 

Though, not out of fear, as it had all day, but out of love. His feelings for her burning through his veins. 

There was no way to tell who moved first, but their lips come together in a familiar dance. It only lasts a second, Gen pulling away slowly with a contented sigh. 

Eyes still closed, his hands move to her face, thumbs tracing her cheeks. 

“Don’t scare me like that again, Rookie.” 

“I won’t.” 

Ethan pulls her in once more, kissing the last of his fears away.

A/N: Honestly, not my fav, but my brain said write it, So I did. 

Nothing will ever top chapter 11 and 12. Two of the best OPH chapters of all time. 

Gonna tag separately to appease the tumblr gods. 

[darthwheezely]

Georgie Weasley HCS!

This is again, probably the first of many headcanons parts because the twins own mu ass and that’s perfectly fine with me.

Also please watch the video it makes me cry with happy tears-

Warnings: stupidly adorable men named George Fabian Weasley, diabetic level fluff, diet angst, me cussing oops

Let’s be clear: I love this man more than life itself, just because I’m a Fred girl doesn’t mean I don’t simp unhealthily hard for this man ok now I’m done let’s get into it

God, he’s such a soft boy

Like he was the kid growing up that hated seeing lil bugs being stepped on and would make it a priority to save them

“No, even bugs are living things too!” And would cradle them and set them back in the yard, whispering words of encouragement

He would frequently cry to Molly about how worried he was about if they got back to their families or not

At times like these, she was worried for her beautiful son but held him all the same

It’s the way George Weasley loves reading for me

This boy is a bookworm. Period.

He’s read LOTR more times than he’s liked to admit, and he’s read Romeo and Juliet enough times that when the Baz Luhrman movie came out he quite possibly saw it 5 times in a row

Like a movie screening a day. This kid-

That week he screams “part fools you know not what you do” to an unholy extent and Fred almost shanks him like 12 times

He also develops a crush on Claire Danes but that is besides the point

True story anyway-

He is a fantastic cook

No, like for real

If he knows Molly is busy that morning at home and he knows the Burrow is stocked enough with ingredients he can manipulate-

He’s making everyone breakfast

Like regular omelettes? Uh, Chile anyways have you HAD a George Weasley omelette

He hates following recipes too

Swears it “kills his artistic tendencies” but I really think it’s because he stresses over measurements

But that’s what Fred is for :)

His favorite muggle game is Scrabble

He whips literally everyone’s ass at it and has a copy of the Scrabble dictionary on him

“George, what the fuck, ‘aal’ isn’t a real word-“

“WELL LET’s CONSULT THE DICTIONARY HMM-“

He also just starts to make up random words

No one really argues this

So is it cheating?

Nah he just calls it ingenuity sis

Again, this is pretty canon but he has a lot of pent up anger issues

Externally, he keeps his cool light years better than Fred ever will, but internally, he just bottles it all

This is of course why George is considered to be the better beater of the two-

He waits until Quidditch to release all of his anger and stress and pain

Our angel feels resentful of Fred sometimes

He loves him more than anyone on thsi earth, 100%, but Fred doesn’t really understand how much people compare them both and how many people don’t see George as his own person

This leads to being a hyper vigilant Georgie, going above and beyond to craft the best plans

The best jokes

Just wanting to be the best at something

And Fred is there to hype him up constantly along the way, but never really will understand how hard it is for George to cope with his inferiority complex

George gets a bit clingy to his loved ones, afraid they’ll pull away when they realize he’s not Fred

He just needs a bit of reassurance and extra loving :) he deserves every bit of it

George Fabian is a crier

He always has been ever since he was little which led to a very confused Freddie (he’s not a big externally emotional human, in terms of expression like crying)

George is a big empath

He feels virtually everything that his loved ones feel which fills him with a lot of duty to protect

At all costs

George is basically young Arthur, I’m not gonna lie

He’d never say it but George just wants a daughter. Or 10.

To spoil and love and hold

He wants a child of his own to see run around and be crazy with

But also to read to every night and make them feel protected and respected and loved

He wants to be what his dad was and is to him you know?

Also um...babes is kinky

If asked if he’s a, t, or thighs?

Thighs. Every time.

This man is addicted to hips like if you’re dancing at a party and moving your hips?

Good lord he’s such a goner

He’s also packing but yknow

He’s super romantic

Probably the most romantic of any of the Weasley siblings

He’s sucker for old school romanticism and is the most chivalrous little angel

He also probably has a stash of pick up lines and romantic sentences in French or Spanish in his back pocket

Please god I love this man

He has DEFINITELY called you the following:

Darling, my love, my soul, my glorious one, it GOES ON THE MORE ILLUSTRIOUS THE BETTER

Please save me from myself writing this I’m a fred girl but god help me I would die for George Fabian Weasley

His favorite scent is of mornings

Like when you wake up early and you smell dew and grass and sunlight

That’s his favorite scent in the entire world

His favorite dessert is Canary Creams - honestly, he don’t even care about the “side effects” they just taste too damn good

You think I’m joking, Fred legitimately had to take them away from him during testing

“Georgie, stop oh my god we only have so many-“

“P L E A S E I’ll make more later they’re so yummy”

“STOP IT IM SERIOUS”

Basically our angel

And we love him. Period.

[captain-aralias]

Rejecting the ‘Chosen One’ story roles...

i was thinking this morning about @frozenspraycans‘s review of AWTWB again, as you do. (again, a note to think about whether you want to read a negative review of AWTWB before you click!) specifically, their key contention that:

“Shepard just replaced Simon in the magickal boy that her whole plot revolved around with. People might say that that’s her job as the designated self-declared sidekick, but in Wayward Son she had shown a lot of independence with making her own decisions, and she became a side character whose focus on character development matched up to Simon’s level.”

it’s a very good point, and basically this review really influences my thinking about the book, and today i was thinking ... i wonder if like so much that feels weird about AWTWB whether this is on purpose. (not a new thought - you can see it there in the quote i pulled out.) because - i don’t think any of us, including frozenspraycans, think that penny is wrong to want to be simon’s best friend and support him. mitali does, but she’s the only one. the rest of us are like - that’s good. and a penny, who at the beginning of AWTWB, accepts that she should let them grow apart because she shouldn’t be controlling simon’s life is actually wrong about herself. actually the lesson she learns during the book is that - yeah - as frozenspraycans says, that helping shepard and simon is important. the moment she fixes shepard’s plot for him, she immediately rings simon to help him as well. 

what she learned wasn’t that she shouldn’t do that role, but instead that she was doing it a bit wrong before, by never prioritising herself at all. 

AND - i would argue.... we can roll this out over all the other characters too. it just wasn’t obvious to me because we talk so much about how ‘Carry On’ is about agatha choosing not to be the girl simon wins, and Baz choosing not to be the villain. yes, absolutely, but also - maybe not quite. 

agatha ends AWTWB going back to watford - she’s not the hero’s girl, but she looped back round to being at the magical school and protecting it. she thought she wanted to run away from magic and reject all that - but actually she just didn’t want to date simon. 

baz doesn’t have to be evil anymore, but his role in the narrative always came from loyalty to his family. and in AWTWB we see him finding a healthier way to still prioritise that. 

simon..... is – i would argue – the chosen one. his role in the narrative is still to save the day, he ends up with a magical sword and a special power that makes him unique. he says a whole bunch of stuff about what he wants, but the one that i choose to highlight here is that he liked his job as the chosen one - he just didn’t like that he had no control/the fear/the killing. now he has a chance to do that job the way he wants.  

TL;DR - taken in totality, the simon snow trilogy may not actually be about rejecting the traditional heroic story roles.

[germanbitchfiona]

Hi okay I’ve seen some shit about this and it’s making me mad but RAINBOW NOT LABELING SIMONS SEXUALITY IS NOT BIPHOBIC???? I know for a fact that there are people who don’t feel a need to label their sexuality or don’t find a label that fits them best right off the bat. I know it took me m o n t h s to figure out what label felt right for me and I had a lot less going on in my life than Simon. He was dealing with a war, the loss of his magic, and his place in the world within days of figuring out he liked Baz so his sexuality was probably not high on the list of problems that need to be dealt with. Plus he already knew he was attracted to Baz and Simon isnt really the type of person to dwell on specifics a lot. Maybe he does figure out that bisexual is a label that fits him in the third book, but if he decides to just not label it that’s okay too and it’s n o t bi erasure. You can hc him as bi and thats absolutely fine! But as of yet his sexuality is undefined in canon and that shouldn’t be ignored or considered a bad thing. Rainbow has done quite a few problematic things but Simon’s sexuality is not one of them. Y e s bisexual rep is very important but characters who don’t find a label right off the bat or ever is also important too.

[theotherhufflepuff]

Simon Snow Trilogy Tarot Cards...

Ok so, a little while ago I saw this frankly stunning artwork by @vkelleyart and I started thinking about the Major Arcana archetypes and how characters from my favourite book series could fit into them.

So I made this list. It took a lot of thought and I’m still not 100% sure on some of them but I have explained my thought process for each card.

I don’t know how much crossover there is in the Venn diagram of “Simon Snow fans” and “tarot readers” but I’d love to hear your opinions and/or alternative suggestions (be respectful though, obviously). I’ve left “visual prompts” for most of the cards explaining what they looked like in my imagination and if anyone wants to draw any of these (or their own alternative version!) please tag me; it would make my day! I can’t draw for toffee so I am 1000% never gonna try to illustrate any of them myself.

List under the cut because it is loooong.

Spoilers ahead for the whole series!

0 The Fool - Shepard - Shepard just follows magickal creatures around and says “yes” to everything... he is the pure embodiment of the Fool archetype to me; care-free, innocent... prepared for everything and yet totally clueless. Visual prompt: Shepard about to (attempt to) step into the fog as he follows a fairy into the forest.

1 The Magician - Penelope - “Penelope Bunce is a fierce magician, I don’t mind saying” Baz, at least once in each book. Penny never worries about not having the power or words available to do whatever she wants; she is comfortable in her power and it is always there, ready to be wielded however she sees fit. Visual prompt: Penny wearing her Stevie Nicks cape, standing by a chalkboard in the classic “Magician” pose, ring clearly held aloft.

2 The High Priestess - Dr Mitali Bunce - Dr Bunce is possibly a more formidable magician than her daughter. Highly intelligent, straightforward and, let’s be honest, judgemental. But she does have all the answers. Visual prompt: Dr Bunce carrying around her laptop, phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder.

3 The Empress - Lucy Salisbury - Lucy exudes the nurturing, Earth Mother vibes that are central to the Empress archetype. She saw the best in everyone and all she wanted was to love Davy and live with him in their cottage with her chickens and their child. Visual prompt: Lucy, barefoot and pregnant, feeding the chickens outside of their cottage.

4 The Emperor - Lamb - This is one of the ones I’m not totally sure about. I went through a few different ideas but ultimately settled on Lamb as the “Vampire King of Las Vegas”. He is an imposing figure, ruling his city with an iron fist; if you are in his favour, Vegas is your playground, but cross him and you will suffer the consequences. Visual prompt: Lamb sits on an antique chair in his opulent suite at the Katherine, the lights of night time Vegas visible through the window behind him.

5 The Hierophant - The Mage - Again, this one took some thought and I’m sure some people will disagree with this interpretation... I’m not completely sold on it myself. The Mage was all about reforming the old traditions of the World of Mages and he amassed a following by doing so. But he turned out to be somewhat of a false prophet; abusing his power to oppress those he deemed “the enemy”. Visual prompt: The Mage in his Robin Hood costume, sitting at his desk at the top of the Weeping Tower, surrounded by his piles of banned books.

6 The Lovers - Simon and Baz - Obviously. As stated at the top of this post, I love @vkelleyart’s version of this card, but there are a lot of scenes across the series that could be used to illustrate this archetype. I personally always love to see the original “and then he kisses me” scene.

7 The Chariot - Fiona Pitch - I struggled with this one a bit and I don’t really think that this is the ideal version. But the image of Fiona, rolling up to Blackfriars bridge in her vintage sports car to rescue Baz from the Numpties really stuck with me so that’s what I went with, for lack of a better idea.

8 Strength - Ebb - Ebb is often dismissed and underestimated by other magicians but she is wicked powerful. But more than that, the Strength card is about inner strength, self control and the wisdom to know when to fight, and when to rest. Ebb is highly intuitive about the people - and goats - around her and is always careful not to talk about her twin brother, only conceding that she knows of his presence once a year and never giving in to the temptation to talk directly to him. Ebb saw the war coming and knew that she could probably end it all by herself with the power she had; but she also knew that she didn’t want that and she had the strength to say no, to eschew the expectations the rest of the World of Mages placed upon her and live quietly, instead. Visual prompt: Ebb in the hills behind the school with the goats, she wears a flower crown that the Dryad made her.

9 The Hermit - Agatha - the Hermit eschews the outside world in order to take an inner journey of self discovery, knowing that this is the only way to find real answers and achieve real growth. Agatha, jaded by the World of Mages, took herself off to California, leaving her wand at home. She didn’t know what she wanted but she knew it wasn’t magic. Visual prompt: Agatha sits on the beach at twilight by a small campfire, Lucy the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel by her side.

10 The Wheel of Fortune - The Crucible - The Crucible’s decisions, like the Wheel’s, are unpredictable and inevitable. Once it’s happened, you’re stuck with the consequences - sometimes bad (being stuck with a toff vampire who hates you) and sometimes good (getting the best room in Mummers house).

11 Justice - Natasha Grimm-Pitch - Natasha needed justice to find peace; her whole story is about justice. She was swift to act when the vampires attacked Watford, dispatching them without hesitation. When she came through the veil to find Baz and ask him to bring her murderer to justice, she knew that would also provide some closure for him, too, both for her death, and for his. Visual prompt: Natasha Grimm-Pitch appearing from beyond the veil, looking for Baz and finding Simon.

12 The Hanged One - Nicodemus - The Hanged One is about feeling stuck, but also about finding peace where you are when there’s nothing you can do about it. Nicodemus chose to cross over for eternal life, but he was stricken from the book; his (considerable) magic effectively taken from him and his fangs removed. He was stuck in between - not a full vampire, not a magician; he exists on the fringes of both communities. He got himself there and then he had to figure out how to get by, carve out a place for himself in order to survive. Visual prompt: Nicodemus sits in the tree in the garden of his mother’s house in South London, waiting for Ebb to come and sit on the empty bench beneath him.

13 Death - [scene on the Great Lawn] - Ok, so.. this might need some explaining. My immediate thought for this card was that it should be the Humdrum but Death is all about clearing out the old junk in your life that doesn’t serve you in order to make space for the new. And the Humdrum isn’t making space for anything. So I was thinking about times that has happened in the story and I thought about how the death of the Mage made room for real progress and an end to the war with the old families. Visual prompt: Penny and Baz (literally) run into a fleeing Agatha on the Great Lawn; the Weeping Tower looms in the background, the Mage and Simon visible through the blown-out stained glass windows.

14 Temperance - Simon and the Humdrum - Temperance is, as you might expect, about balance and harmony. Simon used so much magic at once that he couldn’t control it and it tore holes in the magickal atmosphere. Simon had to fill the Simon-shaped hole to restore equalibrium and stop the magickal firmament from collapsing altogether. Visual prompt: Simon kneeling in the Weeping Tower, pouring his magic into the Humdrum as he fades away.

15 The Devil - Smith Smith-Richards - The Devil is about feeling trapped by temptations in your life, often because we’re afraid of what we would do with the freedom we’d have if we let them go. Which got me thinking about Smith-Richards (that name never gets any less ridiculous) and all the magicians who were taken in by the temptation of “fixing” their magic. But it was a false promise and those magicians who narrowly escaped taking Smith-Richards’ spell were all freed from the idea of their magic being “broken” in the first place. Visual prompt: Smith-Richards (looking like the guy who would be cast to play Simon in the Netflix series) standing on a stage in the packed-out White Chapel, rapt audience hanging on his every word.

16 The Tower - The Humdrum - Originally I wanted to use the Weeping Tower for this card because the imagery is on point but the meaning doesn’t match. The Tower is about absolute destruction, the crumbling of something you thought core to your being. The Humdrum steals magic and renders magicians homeless because of it. The Tower is about having to start again from the ground up - just as the Grimms did when all the magic was drained from Hampshire. Visual prompt: The Humdrum, wearing Simon’s face, stands in the grounds of Pitch Manor, laughing. (I have always thought of the holes looking like a burn in a piece of paper - sort of glowing and smouldering at the edges as it eats away the atmosphere. I know the holes can’t actually be seen - the Normals would freak out - but that is imagery I would use here)

17 The Star - Lady Ruth’s candles - The Star is about hope and healing after the devastation of the Tower. Lady Ruth’s candles were a symbol of hope that kept her going when she thought she had lost her children. They provided comfort and, at the end when it became clear the Lucy was gone, the healing of knowing that her child had finally found his way home to his family. Visual prompt: Lady Ruth’s candles in front of a window, a bright star can be seen through the window.

18 The Moon - Agatha and Simon - So, the Moon is all about examining blurred lines between illusion and reality - nothing looks totally clear in the moonlight. It reminded me of how Simon never really seemed to have a clear view of his feelings for Agatha and what their relationship was. When he properly examined his feelings, he found that he didn’t love Agatha and was going through the motions because he thought it was what other people expected of him. Agatha was doing the same. It also brought to mind Simon, going out of his mind worrying about Baz when he was missing - as well as basically every other thought Simon ever has about Baz before Christmas Eve 2015 - and somehow mistaking it for hating him?? Simon is not stupid but sometimes he’s real dumb. Visual prompt: Agatha and Simon meet on the ramparts, both looking for Baz, and break up.

19 The Sun - Simon - This card is all about innocence, optimism and joy. Nothing about this series personifies this more than Simon flying above Shepard’s truck in America, feeling free and hopeful about the future for the first time in over a year. Visual prompt: Shepard’s truck drives through the vast empty desert, the sun beating down. Simon flies above the truck, joy on his face.

20 Judgement - Niamh and Agatha - Ok, this one was hard to figure out and this is maybe not the right solution, but I was very stuck. Judgement is about self improvement through self reflection. As a small twist on that theme; Niamh and Agatha challenge each other’s view of themselves and their interactions with the world around them. Visual prompt: Agatha and Niamh, sweating to death in Niamh’s “shitty Ford Fiesta” (I’m very salty about that line; my Ford Fiesta is lovely and it has aircon). Niamh is frowning, obviously.

21 The World - Simon, Baz, Penny and Shepard - The World is about completeness, the ending of a story, fulfilment and belonging. At the end of AWTWB, Simon has finally found his biological family, he is starting to accept that his boyfriend and his found family love him for who he is, magic or no, and he can finally start to imagine a future for himself. Baz has learned new information about his vampirism, Penny has found new confidence and Shepard is finally fully accepted into the group. Visual prompt: Baz, Penny and Shepard sit on Simon’s sofa (possibly still pink from Baz’s spell, possibly he spelled it navy blue again) Simon sits on the floor. They’re all eating leftover sandwiches and cake from Lady Ruth’s.

[sillyunicorn]

Snowbaz Mad Libs #5 & 6

If you thought I was done at 4 you were oh so wrong. The hilarity continues with @johnwgrey 's mad libs, which I think both turned out surprisingly sweet. Thank you for playing!!

Once Upon a Lavender Sword

Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince, who lived in a yummy tower with his 304 stags.

One day, his parents announced that he was to be married, which the prince did not want.

To avoid his impending betrothal, he told his parents that he was, in fact, already in love.

“His name is Simon,” he told his parents. “And we have already pledged our love to one another.”

In fact, he and Simon had made no such promises. But he knew he could get Simon to agree. You see, he and Simon had once withdrawn some boyfriends together under a full moon, and that does create a certain bond.

The prince sent Fiona to fetch Simon, who looked quite delighted when he finally appeared.

“Sorry for the wait, sire, I was wrestling with some mermaids. Eight snakes and a dragon, there’s another one!” He pulled it out of his hair and quickly squashed it under his boot.

“I see,” the prince said, questioning every life choice that had led him to this moment.

“So what was it you wanted with me? More help with your history lessons?” Simon waggled his eyebrows.

“That was one time,” the prince seethed. “And no. I need you to pretend to be in love with me so my parents won’t make me marry someone else.”

“Oh boy!” Simon said. “I never thought this was how I’d be proposed to. Don’t you think we should do some, I don’t know, cooking first?”

The prince sniffed haughtily. “I’m not asking you to marry me, just pretend to be in love with me.”

“Well alright,” Simon said. “Actually, I don’t think that will be that difficult. You see, I’ve been in love with you ever since you asked me to sing with you in the forest that one time.”

“Really?” the prince asked.

“Yep,” Simon said. “So, will you marry me?”

“Nothing would make me happier,” the prince replied. And they lived happily ever after.

Every Scarlet Freebooter

Simon chose all the way down the corridor, feeling amused. Baz had called him a sparrow earlier, and it really stung, even though it was hardly the first time Baz had insulted him that way. Simon wasn’t sure what he’d do when he saw Baz next.

Suddenly, Penny poked her head out of the English classroom.

“Simon!” she exclaimed. “Where have you been? Mitali was just about to show us how to fiddle paintings. I know you don’t want to miss that.”

Simon sighed. Penny was always pulling him into her graceful adventures (although she would say the opposite was true).

The activity ended up taking two hours, so it was late when Simon finally got back to their room. Simon didn’t mind though; any time away from Baz was probably for the best.

“Alas!” Baz shouted when Simon opened the door to their room. “You can’t just barge in like that when I’m touching.”

“Oh yeah?” Simon said. “What are you going to do about it, you little dragon?”

Simon stared Baz down; both eyes narrowed and one hand on his hip.

“This,” Baz said, and kissed him.

Thank magic, Simon thought. Things were starting to make a whole lot more sense.

Before Baz could pull away, Simon kissed him back.

And back, and back, and back.

[schnitzelbutterfingers]

"Come here, i need to hug you" for ethan x abby?

Here!

Mirani’s Confession

Book: Open Heart Book 3  Pairing(s): Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Abigail “Abby Chacko) || Past Dr. Zaid Mirani x Dr. Ines Delarosa) Word Count: 1400 Warning(s): tons of angst in the beginning, a bit of fluff in the end. Premise: Ines’s wedding reception , featuring Zaid’s emotions and lost love, Abby’s advice and Ethan’s promise.

Prompt(s): 

#17 from fluff: “Come here, I need to hug you.

Zaid’s POV

He stays seated, watching the reception sail away. It’s probably the first time a wooden chair is comfy to him. Well, it is white cushioned.

Everyone is grinning. Everyone is chortling. His twin brother, Baz, just fell down in his butt.

But he can’t bring himself to array any emotion. He is numb.

Zaid knows his heart is supposed to be full of life. Of joy. That his best friend is finally married. Ines Delarosa.

He won’t show it. Everyone understands how he shows delight through his moody behavior. It is very rare to see him smiling, even more rare than Ethan. Yet, he can’t move. If she’s happy, then he’s happy. That’s what he is supposed to do if he is Ines’s friend.

Friend.

“Zaid? Hello?”

A familiar voice interrupts his train of thoughts. At this moment, he effortlessly sports a scowl. Looking up at the voice, he realizes that it’s Dr. Abigail Chacko.

She’s beaming goofily. “Welcome back to the land of the living, Zaid.”

He softens his scowl and puts on more of a stoic face, looking at her straight through the eye. Dr. Abigail Chacko.

‘What is it?”

“You look grumpy.”

He sighs. “I always am.”

She sits next to him. “Fine. You look more grumpy. More than Ramsey.”

“Well, Ethan has been jolly-looking lately.”

She grins, most likely in acceptance, and a snug quiet overtakes them as they see Tobias and Harper walking into the photo booth. In the corner of his eye, he can see Ethan gazing at Abigail. Once she notices, she offers him a genuine-looking beam, to which he returns.

Zaid won’t admit it, but he wishes he had the same relationship as them with a special someone.

Ines.

Who is now enjoying her new beginning with her wife. She deserves it. She deserves everything.

Abigail furrows her eyebrows. “Alright, what’s wrong, Zaid? You know you can always talk to me...”

“Why would I want to tell you anything?” he snipes back.

“Because I care about you, believe it or not.”

They both have a mini staring contest. Abigail doesn’t give up, and he finally blinks once the wind starts blowing in his direction.

He sighs dreadfully. “Fine. Have you ever had this feeling where you fall in love with someone but that person marries someone else? And they’re happy with it?”

She appears to be demented. He doesn’t blame her.

“What are you talking about? I don’t...”

“Oh my-”

Instantly, her eyes showcase a light bulb turning on.

“You... you’re in love with Ines?”

Zaid suspires and reluctantly nods his head.

“Yes.”

A tense still overtakes their surroundings, with Abigail looking at him in a new light. He starts to regret everything he said.

“Look, don’t spread this around like wildfire. The hospital has enough rumors to destroy a doctor’s reputation, and I don’t-”

“Why didn’t you tell her you have feelings for her before?”

“...We dated for a while.”

Pin-drop silence between him and Abigail, other than the raucousness from the reception.

“And... I take it that it didn’t go well.”

“Well, you’re right about that.”

He sighs as his memory wanders to that unfortunate night in his townhome.

Flashback

“Zaid, I don’t understand. One day you want me in your apartment, and the next day you don’t!”

He has heard that the worst day of the week is Monday. While everyday is dreadful for him, Ines had made it more superior for him.

However today, it’s even worse. It actually fits with the rain pounding on his windows.

Zaid takes deep ragged breaths as she has tears clouding her eyes. He can see her trying to hide it.

Trying to mask her pain.

“Why do you push me away every time? It’s me! Ines Delarosa! Just let me in!”

“It’s because I DON’T WANT TO LET YOU IN!” he roars back.

Huge mistake.

His eyes widen.

Zaid tries to undo it. Every time he opens his mouth, however, no word comes out. He is shocked into silence. His feet is firmly rooted to the ground and makes no plans to move towards her and bundle her in her arms.

Ines stares at him blankly. No emotions splits across her face. 

Except her eyes. They turn light pink, misty, and a teardrop fails to hold on. 

It’s when she starts moving towards the door that he is fully conscious. He scrambles to hold on to her hand, not letting her go.

“Ines, I am so sorry...”

The latter takes in a shaky breath. “It’s okay. I... understand. But our relationship is not.”

His eyes widen. ‘What are you saying?”

Her eyes are filled to the brim with tears. “I am so sorry... but we’re over.”

And it’s then when his whole world begins to crash down.

Flashback ends

As the not-so-exciting story ends, Zaid has sentiment written across his face. And when he turns to look at his unexpected companion, so does she. Abigail clears her throat and finally speaks.

“And... how did you both move past it?”

“We didn’t talk for about a month. Obviously, we both needed space. We decided to stay friends, bust the best of it. We always hang out, always talk to each other. Hell, I was there when she came out as bisexual to her parents and friends.”

A puff of air sticks in his throat. “I was there when she told me that she finally found the love of her life. And I was, no, am so happy for her. Even if I’m not happy in the end, she’s happy. That’s all I really cared about. I love her, always have and always will. Nothing can ever stop me from doing that.”

“Is that why you were crying while you were reading your speech?”

“I was not-”

She gives him a look that silences him.

“...I was emotional. There.”

Abigail wipes her eyes at the drops that fell onto her cheek earlier. She then smiles.

“You know, you remind me of Ethan.”

His eyes broaden. “Really?”

“Yes, really. He has the same trouble opening up towards everyone. Ever since we started dating, he’s beginning to work on it.”

She sighs and turns to Zaid. “I know it is hard to believe, but somewhere in this world, a person is looking out for you. Your soulmate. Jest let them in. Open up. It’ll do you wonders, even if it’s hard to believe.”

“Alright... Thank you, Abby,” he gives her a nod and a heartfelt smile.

“No prob- wait. Did you just call me by my nickname?”

“Oh, for the love of-”

“Okay, okay! I’m leaving!” she chortles as she walks away from him, leaving him alone.

“Oh, and Abigail?”

She stops walking at his calling, turning her head around.

“Yes?” she asks.

“You and Ethan have a very unique and, dare I say, beautiful relationship.

And for the first time, he believes Abigail’s words.

Abby’s POV

Her mind is on Ethan and Ethan only.  The story left her reeling behind the remnants of heartbreak, and she does not want that to happen to her and Ethan.

She bumps into people and apologizes profusely, the piercing noise of music blaring through her ears. Finally, she sees him.

“Ethan!”

She doesn’t know how heard through the crowd, but he turns around and, giving her his signature smile, walks towards her.

“Abby. Finally,” he sighs in relief. 

Without responding, she drags his hand and follows her out of the party and into the hallway. His questions of confusion are ignored as she takes the elevator up one floor. Taking her key card, she opens the door to her lavish suite.

“Abby? What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

“Come here, I need to hug you.”

Instantly, he does. She is burrowed into his secure arms as she wraps her own around his waist. He kisses the top of her forehead and gently grabs her head, bringing it to his eyes.

Her own is full of turmoil.

“What happened?” he questions in concern.

“Nothing! I love you but...”

Quickly, Abby grabs his hand and brings it to her head, placing it there. 

“Swear on my head that you won’t carry anything on your own, that you will let me in no matter what. Swear,” she requests with passion.

Ethan wraps one arm around her waist and brings her to him. “I swear that I won’t carry anything on my own, and that I will let you in no matter what.”

His reiteration of his words are enough. Slowly she brings his head down to hers, kissing his lips slowly, but surely.

As he reciprocates the motion on his own, but with fiery passion, she feels trusted and coveted. She feels needed. Loved.

And she knows that her love story will be everlasting, unlike the heartbreaking ending of Zaid’s and Ines’s.

Under the moonlight, she knows it’s true.

Author’s note: This is probably not what you wanted oop- At least it has fluff in the end

Author’s note: Aight, that took a different route but I loved the heartbreak couldn’t help myself. Hope I did this justice, and I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted :(

Tags:

Perma: @potionsprefect​ @gryffindordaughterofathena​ @maurine07​ @missmiimiie​ @mom2000aggie​ @natureblooms24​ @parkdoesthings​ @parkbarks​

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@openheartfanfics​ @choicesficwriterscreations

[palimpsessed]

Steel Yourself

That morning in Las Vegas when Simon gets his hair cut has been in the back of my mind for over a year, and the recent Wayward Son anniversary reread and lots of talk about hair in the server, brought it front and center. So I decided I had some thoughts and I wanted to get them out.

I asked myself a lot why Simon did this one thing at this one moment. He's let his hair grow out for a long time, probably since the summer before eighth year, or at least the summer after Watford. He's even told us: "I haven't cared enough to get a haircut."

But when Simon does cut his hair, he's still in the same bad place mentally. He still doesn't see himself in a positive light. So why the change? And why this change?

For me, it all comes down to the timing. Timing is very important in terms of Simon's hair. Throughout Simon's life, you could tell the time of year by the length of his hair. At the start of every summer, he shaved his head, and the rest of the year, he grew it out. When Simon starts at Watford, his hair is still fairly short from the previous summer: "A Trojan 11-year-old with baggy jeans and a shaved head." (This is also the look sported by the Insidious Humdrum, which Simon created shortly before being "discovered" by the Mage and taken to Watford.)

Why does the length of his hair matter? Because the shorter it is, the more vulnerable Simon is. (And I don't mean like Samson losing all his strength when his hair was cut off.)

Simon spends months completely unprotected and cut off from all contact every summer. Those summer months in the care homes, exiled from the World of Mages, and the first 11 years of his life, Simon is at his most vulnerable. He doesn't have a family or access to his friends when he's in care. He can't really use or practice his magic. And he's left open to attack from pretty much any magickal or dark creature who feels like trying their luck. (See: fit goblin cabbie and suspected bonety hunter/pervert from the beginning of Carry On.) (Simon has more than one price on his head by the time he's eighteen. And the Humdrum could attack anytime. And the Mage's enemies could hunt him down to get their revenge on the Mage.)

The only person Simon is able to contact during the summers is the Mage, and I think we can all agree that makes him significantly less safe than if he was completely cut off.

Simon is most vulnerable in summer and that's when his hair is the shortest. The drastic change, the rude awakening of being thrust back into the Normal world alone at the end of each school year is perfectly signified by Simon cutting off all of his hair. (Also, undercuts: half-shaved, half-grown. Simon, composed of halves: Normal world/World of Mages; Chosen One/Insidious Humdrum; limitless wells of magic/inability to Speak; dragon/human.)

Once Simon is back at Watford, his hair grows in; the longer he's there, the longer it gets. The more months he spends back at Watford--the only true home he's ever had, surrounded by the only people who love him--the more security he has, and the less vulnerable he becomes.

Are the summer haircuts a necessity of living in a group home "with seven other discards"? Or just something Simon does on his own? It's not really made clear, but Simon does say "I shave it", which implies some degree of agency. I don't think it's uncommon to want to change one's hair (style or color) when life gets overwhelming. (2020, anyone?) It's a great and safe way to exert control over life and self when other things feel out of control. The thing about Simon is that he has never had control over his life; that's part of what makes him so vulnerable the years he spent in care, the years he was the Mage's personal boy soldier, the years he was groomed as Baz's enemy and the Chosen One born to take down the Insidious Humdrum. The length of Simon's hair seems to be the one thing he has control over.

When Simon is most vulnerable, he cuts his hair. In his case, it's an act of defiance, of agency. Cutting his hair is a way for him to be strong, to take control.

Let's move forward in time now to Wayward Son.

Even though he's left Watford and childhood and defeated "the big baddie[s]", Simon is still struggling through a life out of his control. He has wings, a tail, and no magic. He has no direction because he thinks he was born to die. He's burdened with years and years and years of trauma that he can't find a way to avoid or properly confront and he's decided to just stop trying to do either one.

Simon starts the book at his lowest point. And his hair seems to be at its longest, even though he's also at his most vulnerable. How does this tie into the point I'm trying to make?

Simon is not taking agency in his life; he's "lying on the sofa". Life is out of control again, but Simon hasn't shaved his head this time because he's given up trying to fight back.

I think subconsciously, Simon is now trying to use his longer hair as a kind of emotional armor. Short hair has been associated throughout his life with his most vulnerable state (and the Humdrum). Simon is essentially trying to build up a sort of physical barrier to the trauma that's constantly pushing in on him; trauma that he is trying his best to run from, to not face (including quitting therapy and telling his therapist that he prefers to have his brain close "off painful corridors"). Simon tells us that he hasn't "cared enough to get a haircut", but the implications seem to be much deeper than a lack of care.

We first see the hair-as-armor technique with Baz. Baz uses most aspects of his appearance as a way to craft his careful image of control. It's a skill he intentionally adopted from Malcolm. Baz practices his facial expressions and posture in the mirror to make sure that he's able to hide his emotions from the outside world. He cares about fashion, and puts on an expensive suit when he's going into a dangerous situation the way others would put on armor. Up until Simon kisses Baz in the woods, Baz's hair is kept carefully slicked back like a "gangster...or a black-and-white movie vampire". That scene in the woods is incredibly pivotal, but not just from a SnowBaz perspective. That's the moment that Baz hits his lowest point. He's convinced he's failed at finding his mother's murderer (and we all know Baz top-of-the-class Pitch doesn't handle failure well), and he's confronted, and been taunted by, the very monsters that he's been trying his whole life to deny he's one of. He doesn't care that Simon is there to witness his breakdown; he runs off into the woods and sets the fire he hopes will kill him.

That moment in the woods is one of just a few times that Baz allows himself to be vulnerable in front of Simon. And Simon is sure to comment on the state of Baz's hair when it's not neat and tidy. (Simon is very helpful.) There's the moment Baz finds out how Natasha really died ("His hair is in his eyes"), then after sharing magic out on the lawn with the dragon ("His hair falls forward"), which leads to them sharing magic on Baz's bed later that same day. These are incredibly integral steps along the way to Simon and Baz's truce and romance. Baz has to let down his guard so that Simon can see his humanity, his vulnerability, and recognize his own feelings, feelings that he's kept buried down deep because he's believed that Baz hates him and wants to kill him (and we all know what Simon does with painful thoughts). Each instance leads up to that kiss in the woods, after which Simon talks about the way Baz's "hair falls in a lazy wave over his forehead". Simon and Baz spend that night kissing and sleeping in each other's arms; they talk for the first time ever about their feelings for each other. Baz's hair is loose and wavy and not slicked back because he's let his guard down, he's let Simon in, he's let himself be vulnerable. And one of the first things Simon does when he kisses Baz is slide his hand into Baz's hair and mess it up; after kissing, this seems to be top of his list "of all the things [he's] always wanted to do to Baz".

And what does Baz do later on Christmas Eve, when he's getting ready for dinner after Simon leaves with Penny and Agatha? He slicks his hair back. It doesn't evade Simon's notice, either. (Nothing about Baz evades Simon's notice.) He "wish[es]" Baz wouldn't slick his hair back, because "it looks better when it's loose and falling around his face". Simon wants Baz to be vulnerable around him, and Baz was trying to put his armor back up when he was convinced that Simon wouldn’t come back.

Baz has more hair in Wayward Son. (I'm not even going to touch the body hair thing, so calm yourselves.) His hair is longer than it was at Watford, and he's able to grow a beard. Simon sees Baz's new, softer look as illustrative of Baz's maturity, self-assurance, and attractiveness, reasons that Baz is too good for him. ("He's coming into himself. And I'm coming apart.") But what Simon fails to recognize is that, as in Carry On, Baz's softer hair is actually illustrative of his emotional vulnerability.

Between Carry On and Wayward Son, Baz, like Simon, has grown out his hair, and he seems to prefer wearing it loose. He isn't the same boy he was in school; he has everything he ever wanted (Simon), so he can let down his guard. They're supposed to be living the happy ending neither one of them ever thought they'd get to have. He doesn't need to protect himself anymore, because he isn't living with the constant fear of being outed one way or another in a boarding school without escape. (He does still have to live with the fear of being outed as a vampire, but that concern has to be much less immediate now that he's outside of the only place that mages live together. He's under far less scrutiny in London and at university and far less likely to be discovered.)

And yet, Baz isn't happy, he isn't secure. He thinks he's going to lose Simon, that maybe he's already lost him. Baz now struggles to get his hair back under control (just like Christmas Eve), and their ill-fated road trip conspires against him at every turn. Baz's hair gets blown to hell when the convertible top breaks; Simon compares him to Mozart, then Baz compares himself to a member of a "hair metal band"; he can't use magic to tidy his hair, and even wetting it only gets him to a Bucks Fizz or Wham! equivalent; his hair gets "bushy and matted" in their fight with Jeff Arnold and his posse; Simon tells Baz not to ride in the back of Shepard’s truck because of “what the wind does to [his] hair”. (Remember the scene in the back of the truck? Yeah. Very emotional.) Baz's emotional turmoil is reflected in his diminishing physical condition throughout their trip. He finally lands on using his mother's scarf as a means of keeping his hair under control. He's trying to reclaim some of his emotional armor, because, as he tells us: "Simon Snow, it hurts to look at you when you're this happy. And it hurts to look at you when you're depressed. There's no safe time for me to see you. Nothing about you that doesn't tear my heart from my chest and leave it breakable outside my body."

Baz is in pain. He's trying to hold himself together and his hair is the perfect metaphor for this. The fact that he uses his mother's scarf to keep it under control harkens back to his method of aping Malcolm in Carry On. He turns to his parents for the means of bolstering his armor in the face of vulnerability (which we see play out much more overtly when Baz later contemplates calling Malcolm, and calling Fiona, for help with the NowNext).

(Side note about Baz's family. Want to talk about hair showing emotional vulnerability? How about Malcolm going white after Natasha died? The man is broken by his first wife's death and he never recovers emotionally, even though he's remarried and had four more children. He still can't express any emotion toward Natasha's son. Also, Fiona. With her natural white streak dead center in the front of her hair? Fiona is an absolute wreck of a human. She's volatile and self-destructive and vindictive and was also shattered by Natasha's death and before that, Nico's Turning. Both Malcolm and Fiona are permanently marked with signs of their emotional trauma with their white hair.)

I think post-Humdrum Simon has taken a page out of Baz's book, having always seen him as self-assured and completely in control in a way Simon never was. He's internalized the hair-as-armor technique as a misguided way to insulate himself from his pain, growing it out instead of cutting it off (with his "new length" being a physical representation of the barrier he's trying to make around all of the painful things in his head).

This obviously doesn't work. Simon isn't fooling anyone, not even himself.

In Carry On, Simon shaves his hair to exert control, and Baz slicks back his hair to project control. In Wayward Son, Simon uses his longer hair as a kind of shield against looking vulnerable, and Baz's longer hair reflects his vulnerability.

Wayward Son ends with Simon still in a very vulnerable state. If Simon thinks of short hair as being linked with vulnerability, and long hair like armor, then why did he decide to cut his hair in Vegas?

Because he did care enough to get a haircut; he cared enough to make himself vulnerable.

Why?

Because he's in love with Baz and he can't tell him, so he cuts his hair to show him.

Simon is being brave. He's taking a step and he's exposing himself in a way he's been too scared to do for a long time. Which is the crux of all of this: allowing himself to be vulnerable is actually a kind of strength.

The night before Simon gets his hair cut, Baz meets Lamb. Simon listens to Lamb flirt with Baz, and Baz sort of flirt back with Lamb, for hours, and can't do anything about it. When he does finally intervene, he sees them together, and he thinks Baz and Lamb are going to kiss. He thinks Baz wants someone else. He thinks Baz wants to break up with him. (He already did think so, yes, but at this point of the book, Simon has started to convince himself that they're "getting by".)

The night culminates in one of Baz's lowest points, drunk and draining birds in the hotel bath, bloodstained and forced to face the brutal reality that is his life as a vampire with three witnesses, one of whom is the love of his life. Baz doesn't ever want Simon to see him drink. He has to tell Simon more than once to leave the bathroom to try to maintain some part of his dignity and to keep Simon from continuing to watch (because Simon wants to watch).

This is Baz at his most vulnerable, and Simon is there for all of it. Again. And he wants so badly to be with Baz. But Simon is a mess and can't articulate his feelings. So he goes out and gets an expensive haircut to show Baz that he does care. He finally cares enough to get a haircut (to exercise agency over himself and his life). This is his way of trying to fight for Baz. It's completely off the mark (use your words, Simon) but it's sweet and it's well-intentioned. And it's brave.

Simon has two things in life that he's clinging to with all the power he has left in him: Baz and Penny. And that morning in Vegas, he's probably contemplating the possibility that he's going to lose Baz. (And, unless they get a break, Agatha.--Again.)

TL;DR: Simon cuts his hair, to try to get some control over his out-of-control life, to make an effort for his boyfriend, to try to bring back the part of himself from Watford who was a hero who could take on anything with his undercut ("and a belly full of magic"). It's vulnerability, but it's also strength.

Shaved or tousled, Simon Snow, I hope you get your well-deserved happy ending with Baz, and Penny, and Agatha, and Shepard. And therapy. Please, please, please therapy.

[jamespotterthefirst]

Where We Belong

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1,200 Warning: One curse word Premise: Waking up to her boyfriend making breakfast for her? What did she do to deserve him? Author’s Note: A little domestic fluff piece

The mouthwatering aroma of breakfast greets her warmly as she enters the kitchen that morning. Even more enticing than the promise of food is the sight of her shirtless boyfriend, laboring over the stove with a grace that is only earned with years of cooking and being good at it. Lilac's eyes settle on his back muscles, flexing and straining as he works.

“Mmm,” she hums in approval, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed casually over her chest. The movement sends his over-sized shirt drooping off her shoulder.

Ethan doesn't hear her over the sizzling pan, focused as he is on making her breakfast. His frame moves studiously around his kitchen, adding ingredients and ensuring the quality of the food. When she can no longer resist the tug in her chest, moving her to him like the pull of magnets, she wraps her arms around him from behind, pressing a tender kiss between his shoulder blades.

“Good morning,” he greets with a pleasant little laugh, the rumble of his baritone voice a comfort.

“Very good indeed,” she sighs contentedly. She peeks over his arm at the delectable contents of the pan. “Omelets? You're spoiling me, Ramsey. How did I get so lucky?”

Ethan leans down to lower the temperature on the stove before he swivels in her arms to face her. His smile is easy and deliciously ruinous, making him look much younger. “I'm the lucky one,” he tells her, the statement as irrefutable as the existence of the sun.

Lilac is moved, almost rendered breathless. Outwardly, she merely wrinkles her nose at him. “Who would have thought you'd be the sappy one out of the two of us?”

Ethan laughs in repose, the sound filling the kitchen like the warmth of a summer day. His arms circle tighter around her as he backs her against the counter, the movement slow and promising. Wordlessly, he leans down to kiss the tip of her nose. “What can I say? You bring out the best in me.”

There is an air of pure bliss rolling off him in waves as he holds her and it makes her stomach flip. The sheer joy of his demeanor is palpable and Lilac is certain it is reflected in her own expression.

Playfully, she says, “Hmm, I changed my mind about you. This is not the old, grumpy, sarcastic doctor I fell for.”

Ethan laughs, a full hearty laugh that she hopes to inspire forever.

With that roguish, life-ruining smirk still displayed on his face, he leans down toward her lips. He hovers a breath away, teasing her in the most unfair of ways. “You love me, Rookie.”

Lilac had found the courage to inform him of that fact only two weeks after they decided to date. Even though their relationship was still technically a secret from everyone else, they enjoyed reminding each other every chance they got. They would exchange a quiet “I love you” every morning before walking into Edenbrook. They would say it in emoji filled texts (emoji filled on her part) or rushed phone calls during breaks. They would even interchange the three words with a single glance as they passed each other in a corridor with such conviction that it left her as breathless as if he had shouted it for all to hear.

Their lips only a hair's breadth away, she whispers back. “Lucky for you, I do.”

Ethan brushes his lips against hers in a full, tender sweep. “It is lucky,” he returns just as quietly, moving his lips over hers. “Given how madly I love you.”

His lips are fully on hers now, pouring the truth of the three words into every delicious stroke. Soon, it evolves into a dangerous, hungry type of kiss that renders them both breathless. Lilac takes command of his full bottom lip, tugging and grazing until he is groaning low in his throat. Ethan's hands, meanwhile, scorch a trail down the curves and dips of her sides, inviting her to hook a bare leg around his hip.

They resurface for air, Ethan pressing his forehead to hers, her body secure in his strong arms. His fingers play lazily with the hem of his own t-shirt, hanging loosely around her form.

“I take it this is no longer my shirt since you insist on wearing it so much.”

“If you want it back so badly, then take it off.”

More endearing laughter. “You're impossible,” he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss on her exposed shoulder.

The pan behind him hisses insistently and with a sigh, he releases her. “You should go lay down,” he says as he resumes with the cooking. “Breakfast is almost ready. I can give it to you in bed.”

Lilac lifts a brow at the choice of words before breaking out into laughter. He joins her, not embarrassed in the slightest.

“You and your unintentional innuendos,” she says as she sobers up.

“Most of those were on purpose, you know,” he comments, his own laughter ebbing into an amused grin.

“I know,” she returns. “You're terrible at being discreet.”

Ethan rolls his eyes but the effect is ruined when he can't restrain a smile. “If you don't want to go back to bed then you can help me with the bacon.”

Lilac shakes her head. “That's a horrible idea,” she tells him. “Cooking bacon is the biggest challenge for me.”

He stops plating the omelets to give her an inquisitive look.

“I never know when it's ready,” she explains. “It looks under cooked for eternity and then before I know it, it's burnt. What?”

He looks at her, evidently struggling to stifle a laugh.

“You’re a doctor in a nationally ranked diagnostics team.”

“They don’t exactly cover cooking in medical school.”

Ethan is full on laughing by now. He looks unfairly entrancing doing so that she doesn't mind it's at her expense. He continues to tease her about her cooking shortcomings even as they sit down at the kitchen table to eat. Her poor attempts to glare at him only elicit more laughter.

They are soon interrupted by the ringing of his cellphone.

“June,” he explains when he glances at the screen. That catches Lilac by surprise.

“This better be important if you're bothering me on my one day off, Hirata,” he says as soon as he answers. “Of course they do… Fine… Yes, that works… She should be…” Ethan glances her way, which deepens her confusion.  “That makes the most sense, yes…” He hangs up the phone without so much as a goodbye. “The board wants us to consult with another potential patient in Beacon Hill,” he explains with a frustrated sigh and already getting to his feet. “Baz and June are already on their way to pick me up.”

Lilac’s eyes widen as she too rises from her seat. “Shit, Ethan. They can’t see me here. They’ll know.”

Ethan is unfazed, already clearing the table. “I know,” he tells her. “Although, you could argue they probably already know.”

“They almost certainly do but being found half-naked in your apartment is not exactly how I pictured us going public,” she says. “And I don’t mind Baz knowing but June…” she trails off meaningfully. Luckily, she doesn’t have to elaborate for Ethan to know for he nods.

He moves to the small entry table by the front door and retrieves his car keys from a small tray. The urgency in his movements sends an inexplicable thrill through her and she feels almost giddy.

“Once they get me, we’ll go get you. Which gives you–” he glances down at his watch, “–Twenty minutes to take my car and drive to your place. What? What’s so amusing?”

Lilac had given into laughter. “Nothing, just– The things we do to sleep together.”

Ethan smiles at that, moving closer to take her in his arms. Very tenderly, so tenderly she feels weightless, he presses a soft kiss to her forehead. “You’re worth it.”

____

Author’s Note: Am I the only one that constantly burns bacon?

Also, just wanted to say that I adore you all. I hope everyone is well. When the world feels like too much, I am always here to offer a listening ear.

____

Tags:  @openheart12​ | @ethandaddyramsey​ | @noboundariesplease​ | @silverlitskies​ | @infinitiestones | @flyawayboo​ | @paulfwesley​ | @hatescapsicum​ | @myusualnerdyself​ | @thatysn​ | @choicesyouplayandmore​ | @chasingrobbie​ | @trappedinfandoms​ | @togetherwearerapture​ | @nooruleman​ | @caseyvalentineramsey​ | @axwalker​ | @parkerattano​ | @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​ | @kaavyaethanramsey​ | @edith-eggs1​ | @choices-lurker​ | @jens-diamondchoices​ | @tefigranger​ | @ethanrcmsey​ | @coffeebeandragon​ | @senator-adrian-raines-wifey​ | @aestheticartwriting​ | @longneckramsey | @binny1985​ | @mvalentine​ | @sanchita012​ | @drethanramslay​ | @ramseysno1rookie​ | @takeharryandgo​​ | @aworldoffandoms​ | @desmaranj​ | @ josieplayschoices | @magicalshepherdtreeprofessor​ | @oofchoices | @ethxnrxmsey​ | @octobereighth​ | @colossalpainintheass​ | @kopenheart12​ | @lilyvalentine​ | @dulceghernandez |  @lion-ess24 | @emotionalswift2 | @the-soot-sprite |

[perriewinklenerdie]

Rooftop (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

A/N:  Hello, hello, hello! How are we doing, fam? When I say that I've been looking for an idea to write about for the past three days, I mean *three days of nothing* and then this thing just kinda... happened I guess?

AO3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985100

Tag list:   @paleweasels, @kittykatchoices, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian , @radlovedreamer , @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @strawberrwess @palestazure, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @drakewalkerfantasy, @timmagicktoad, @laceandlula, @greywitchyshots, @llamasgrl, @gingerjane15, @bucket-harrington , @marywrites-things , @ethanplaysfavorites , @mfackenthal , @betelgeusebee , @simsvetements,  @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction, @buzz-bee-buzz, @owleyes374, @cora-nova, @aworldoffandoms, @l822, @cream-ray, @ughhhxjazzy, @silverlitskies, @justendlesssummerfeels, @togetherwearerapture, @desmaranj, @edgiestwinter, @friedherringclodthing, @daisy-ashton, @waytooattuned, @choicesgremlin , @lapisreviewsstuff, @the-soot-sprite, @writerapprentice, @chasingrobbie, @choicesobsessedd, @x-kyne-x, @thisperfectmemory, @drakewalker04, @rookie-ramsey, @jlynn12273, @thepinknymph @dr-brianna-casey-valentine, @a-i-n-a-a-s-h 

  Enjoy! <3

-------------

He not so silently cursed his luck for getting himself stuck in the situations like these. He wanted to blame this fully on Naveen, as it was his idea for him to go to that stupid party, even though he knew fully well that he would be miserable the second he stepped through the threshold. For some reason, despite being aware of all that, he still decided to go, and, no surprise, he wanted to run almost immediately.

“You can’t leave just yet. Come on, there’s Zaid and Baz, you can grab a drink and talk about something else than medicine for once.” Naveen scolded him with a crooked smile, knowing that he was annoying the younger attending. The truth was, the party that residents threw in their apartment was slowly becoming a tradition. Ethan missed the party last year, as did Naveen, both being stuck in the hospital running tests and racing against time. That was one of the reasons why the older doctor wanted them to go so much. For one, because Naveen loved gossip and from what he heard, it was going to be fun, and besides that, he wanted Ethan to live a little, and if he had to drag him to the party to do that, then he was going to do it.

“Ramsey, I literally can’t believe you’re here. You have a life outside of the hospital?” Zaid greeted him, taking a sip out of his glass. His brother shook his head, sighing.

“What he meant was that he’s happy to see you, Ethan.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I meant that he practically lives at Edenbrook.” He shot back, preparing to say something else when Ines interrupted their banter, coming up to them with Harper in tow, both nursing glasses of red wine as they conversed silently.

“I was convinced that the party was meant for residents and interns mostly, yet here you all are. Did Naveen drag you here too?” Ethan glanced over the group in front of him, then at the door behind him, wondering how fast he could leave the room.

“He didn’t have to. We were here last year, and it was so fun, we convinced Baz and Harper to come along this time too.” Ines smiled, nudging Zaid with her elbow, prompting him to agree. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, rolling his eyes before he nodded.

“Yes, very fun. Woo hoo.”

Ethan took the opportunity of them two bickering to run his gaze around the room. He recognized most of the people there, interns and residents mingling among each other, playing games and drinking alcohol. Music was blasting from the speakers, some track he didn’t know, food was everywhere he looked, same for various drinks. He tried counting all five owners of the apartment, but managed to find only four with his eyes.

“If you’re looking for Herondale, she’s not here. She came out to greet us about an hour ago and we haven’t seen her since.” Zaid pointed out, noticing Ethan’s expression.

“I’m not-“

“We all know what’s going on, and honestly? Just go for it if you haven’t already, you’ll feel better.” This time, it was Baz who spoke up, and when Ethan looked over to him, he noticed how teasing his smile was. He remembered how many times Baz must have seen him and Claire being much closer than what being colleagues called for, and yet, he’s never said anything.

“Yeah, just don’t make out in the hospital, I’d like to maintain at least a semblance of peace in that place.” Zaid stepped into the conversation again, making Harper and Naveen laugh.

“Like, you may kiss but don’t go overboard, I don’t want to see too much.” she joined in on the teasing, shaking Zaid’s hand when Ethan exhaled loudly, turning around and leaving them behind.

He’s been there a total of two times, so he couldn’t really say that he knew where he was going. His legs led him to the door to the roof, which seemed like a valid idea, given the fact that he didn’t want to leave Naveen alone completely, but he himself couldn’t stand the party one moment more. He needed to clear his head, and the roof seemed like his best bet.

The cool wind creeped beneath his jacket and ruffled his hair, throwing a few locks onto his face, obscuring his view. The sounds of the city below his were slowly fading into the background as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“Zaid owns me twenty dollars.” Claire’s voice interrupted the apparent silence, making his mind come to live. She was sitting on the part of the roof that wasn’t so steep, allowing her to fight the gravity with her shoes.

Anyone who would see her in that moment would never say that she was at a party, let alone that she was hosting one. Dressed in a pair of sweatpants, rolled up to half of her calves, a bit too big sweater a pair of sneakers. Her hair fell down her shoulders in gentle waves, moved away from her face by the wind. She held a plate full of fries, eating them slowly as she observed him.

“What for?” he hesitated, asking with his gaze if he could join her, and upon receiving the green light, walked over to her to sit down next to her.

“I said that you wouldn’t last the whole night at the party. That is, if you chose to come at all. He said I underestimate you.”

“And what did you say?” he murmured, looking back at the door leading downstairs.

“That I know you enough to know that you would run.”

She offered him fries, grinning when he looked between her and the plate with hesitation. Despite his preference to eat healthy, he couldn’t deny that he was getting hungry, and it was a kind of a special occasion, so he accepted the food, trying and failing to not smile at her satisfied laugh.

The food disappeared soon enough, so Claire stood up to leave the empty plate on the ground. To his surprise, she reached into the box he didn’t see before, and pulled out a pint of ice cream along with a spoon.

“I didn’t plan on having company, so we’ll have to share a spoon.” Claire concluded, sitting back down and digging into the sweet treat. She offered him the first taste, sighing when he shook his head. “Eat the goddamn ice cream, Ethan.”

He took a hold of her hand, accepting he food. A pleased smile lit up his features when the flavor hit his taste buds. Wordlessly, she ate a bit too, staring out at the skyline, lights reflecting in her eyes, her gaze unfocused on anything in particular.

“We both know I don’t like parties, but the same can’t be said about you. Why aren’t you downstairs?” Ethan pointed out, reaching for her with his hand, running it up and down her arm. Claire shrugged, trying to put into words what was running through her mind.

“I guess I’ve been becoming a bit of an introvert lately. Or maybe I’m just not feeling it tonight. The moment people started arriving, I felt the need to run, I needed to be alone.” She muttered, poking at the content of the box in her hands with the tip of the spoon. Her posture betrayed her, displaying fully just how tired she was lately, with everything going on both in and outside of the hospital. He halted his movements, taking his hand away from her.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I can leave.”

“You’re not interrupting anything. I like you having here, you… let’s say you calm me down.” Claire smiled softly, their eyes locking in an intense stare when she turned to fully look at him, for the first time this evening.

He made a sudden move, leaning towards her, then stopped abruptly to think about what he was doing. She grinned at his hesitation, moving towards him and closing the distance between them. His lips brushed against hers, hesitantly, the sensation almost unpalpable but sending a lone spark through his skin. He let it happen, again and again, with each brush he added more pressure, until he kissed her, moving his hand up her arm, over her neck, reaching her hair and tangling his fingers into it to pull her closer.

Claire hummed gently at the gesture, the box of ice cream falling out of her grip in a moment of abandonment. She broke the kiss, trying to catch it, but instead she saw it rolling aimlessly to the ground, the spoon following it closely behind.

All her protests were swallowed by his lips when he pulled back towards him, grabbing handfuls of her golden locks and pressing himself against her closely. “Leave it.” he groaned lowly, distracting her from the world around them. She nodded gently, running her hands up and down his sides before settling at the back of his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his jacket for the dear life.

They weren’t sure how much time has passed, all they knew was that once they finally broke apart to catch the precious oxygen, the sky was darker and the faint sound of music flowing from the apartment was almost impossible to hear.

Claire ran her fingers through his hair, brushing it away from his face, then began stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. A wistful look in her eyes was blending with the one of ease and some kind of happiness, brightening up the green color of her irises.

“We should go back.” She whispered, pressing another kiss to his lips, unwilling to let him go just yet. Ethan nodded in agreement, but didn’t let her go either, debating whether this should be the moment in which their slowly developing relationship should be let out into the outside world.

They were taking it easy for the past months, without pressure or any expectations. If it was supposed to happen, it would happen on its own terms, that’s what they told themselves. Ethan already knew that they weren’t as sneaky as they thought they were, with Baz picking up on their dynamic that wasn’t so new, just a bit different from what it used to be. Naveen saw it too, so did Harper, so did Zaid and just about every person that has ever seen them together.

A thought crossed his mind, putting a teasing smirk on his features. He gathered her in his arms, pulling her onto him, his lips against her ear when he muttered hotly. “I think I’m going to keep you here for a moment longer.”

[forabeatofadrum]

l'amor che move (il sole e l'altre stelle) - chapter 17

Notes: Also, thank you for all the comments on AO3. I am shit at reacting to them, but I do read all of them.

AO3

–

BAZ

My family is incredibly rich, so of course we have more houses. My parents and siblings are moving to the house in Oxford and moving without magic is killing. I had gotten used to living with minimal magic now that I am dating Simon, but having no possible way to do magic at all is terrible.

My father’s car is parked at the front door so that we can immediately get into it and drive out of the dead spot.

The entire move takes a couple of days and I am also tasked to clear out my room. I have so much shit lying around.

“Need some help?”

Fiona is standing in the door opening.

“I have so much shit,” I say to her as well.

“You hoarder.”

I flip her off.

“So. Your bloke?

“Oh, is this an interrogation?” I ask.

“I have to make sure that my nephew is taken care of,” Fiona has a smug look on her face, “I mean, are you?”

I know that she’s making innuendos.

“We’re getting there, Fiona,” I blurt out and I immediately regret it. Why did I tell her that? Fiona looks amused, but I refuse to discuss my sex life with my aunt more than that.

“And is he one of us?”

Fiona is asking whether Simon’s a mage or not. Simon is a mage. I have known this for a while now and now he knows it as well, but he also doesn’t want to be one. Not only that, but he’s most likely the Greatest Mage from The Mage’s prophecy. All we miss is the greatest threat.

I can’t tell Fiona that.

Some might think that it’s ironic that I am dating the Greatest Mage, but Fiona would want to kill him on sight.

“No,” I lie. If I tell her that he is, she will want to know about his power. Fiona is nasty towards low-powered mages like Daphne. She has the same views on magic as my mother.

“You’re shacking up with a Normal?”

“Yes,” I lie, “Learnt that from the best.” I shoot her a look.

Fiona snorts. “That’s fair.”

“Are you going to help me sort out my stuff or are you done?”

“I’m done,” Fiona sighs, “I need to grill Malcolm some more.”

“Have fun. Don’t tell him about Simon.”

“Simon, huh?”

“Hush, now leave!”

Fiona cackles and leaves. She wants me to be happy. I might not be able to hide Simon’s identity for long, but I am holding it off for as long as possible.

I mean, I am still dating Simon. I don’t want to tell Fiona that we’re having a row, since that involves explaining whatever situation I’m now in. Instead of worrying about my family figuring things out, I focus on my stuff.

Most of my prized possessions are already in Salò, but now I have to clean out the things that I’ve left behind. My stuff can be stored in Oxford, but I will not have my own room. Daphne was very apologetic about that, but I don’t care.

I actually don’t care that much about most of my things here. My parents can put it in the attic, or I can donate some of it. (Agatha is trying to convince me to be less materialistic.) (Says the girl with twenty pairs of shoes.). It’s actually weird to see all my things. I’ve changed a lot since Watford, even though I graduated only a few weeks ago. The old clothes in my wardrobe don’t fit me anymore in style. Some of my possessions look like they belong to someone else.

There’s also some stuff from my mother. I am looking for something specific. Just like everything else, I took some of the most important things from my mother with me, but there’s still so much of her stuff.

For my twelfth birthday, my father gave me a book of addresses. It’s a weird gift for a child, but it belonged to my mother.

“If you ever have questions about her, just ring one of these people.”

I’ve never used it. A part of me wanted to hold on to my memory of my mother. I didn’t want anyone else to interfere with that, except for my father and Fiona.

I find it and I browse manually to the S-section. I mean, I have to. There’s no magic, so I can’t use a spell.

I see it instantly.

Salisbury, Ruth.

My mother knows Simon’s family. I had expected that. (All old noble magickal families like to network.)

I am not going to call Lady Salisbury out of the blue. I don’t want to draw suspicion towards me, but I am looking for answers about Simon’s family. I can’t ask this Ruth Salisbury immediately, but maybe I can ask someone else. I originally planned on asking Daphne, but she’s busy with moving her entire family.

Luckily, I know someone who I can ask.

--

Martin Bunce does not give up easily. He must’ve learnt that from his wife. Dr. Wellbelove has stopped trying to come over, since Fiona will probably kill him if he keeps on trying, but professor Bunce is now allowed. Apparently, he and Daphne know each other.

He’s still on thin fucking ice, though.

“Professor Bunce,” I walk up to him, “May I speak to you?”

“Always, Mr. Pitch.”

I hate that he calls me that, but it’s a formality.

“I have done some research-”

“On the dead spots?” professor Bunce perks up. I wonder how many people love to talk about his research, but I have to disappoint him.

“No, on old magickal families,” I see. Professor Bunce deflates. “Have you heard of the Salisbury family?”

Professor Bunce’s face and posture changes again, but I don’t really understand what attitude he’s exuding.

“I have,” he says, sounding cautious, “Why are you asking?”

“Oh, you know, I did some reading into Italian magickal culture and then I decided to compare it to the World of Mages,” I lie easily. I just hope that professor Bunce will focus on the Salisbury question instead of asking about the Italian magickal world, since I have nothing for him there.

“The Salisbury’s are an old, noble magickal family,” professor Bunce answers, “Jamie Salisbury is the sole heir. He’s the son of Lady Ruth and Lord Andrew Salisbury, although the Lord has died a few years ago.”

He looks at me.

“Your mother and Lady Salisbury were great friends.”

I did not know that. Of course I had heard of the family, but I never knew that my mother was friends with the matriarch. I thought that Ruth Salisbury’s address was just one of the many addresses in my mother’s book.

I file that away for another time.

“You mentioned a sole heir? Jamie is an only child?”

Professor Bunce seems a bit uncomfortable. He looks over his shoulder to see if no one is listening along. “Mr. Pitch, I do not want to be treasonous-”

Treasonous. The Mage. Jackpot.

“You’re on the Pitch estate. Being here makes you treasonous is The Mage’s eyes,” I say.

Professor Bunce lets out a sad laugh. “I suppose you’re right. The Mage has a role in this story, but Mr. Pitch, please promise me you will not share this information.”

I take out my wand. “I am willing to swear on it.”

Not my life this time, but I can do an Englishman’s word is his bond.

Professor Bunce holds out his hand and I do the spell.

“Lady and Lord Salisbury had a daughter, Lucy.”

I suck in a breath. This is it.

“She was my wife’s best friend. I also was friends with her at school. She dated The Mage and she disappeared one day. But yeah, The Mage blamed her parents for it. This is why the Salisbury family is also a big anti-Mage family, but they don’t want that to be widely known. No one knows what happened to Lucy. Mitali likes to believe that she’s out in the world, living her best life.”

She is. She really is. But I cannot tell him that. I never magickally swore to protect Ms. Snow’s (Ms. Salisbury’s?) secret, but I am not daft. But maybe I can tell her that she is missed, and she can do with that whatever she wants.

She must miss people back home.  

That’s why I decided to seek out professor Bunce. I didn’t know that he and his wife personally knew Ms. Snow, but it felt safer to ask him or Dr. Wellbelove. And my own family would start asking questions.

I need to steer away the conversation from Lucy, though. I can’t let professor Bunce suspect anything. I need to pretend that I’m interested in the Salisbury legacy in general, not just in the missing daughter.

“And Jamie is the sole heir? I don’t know him.”

Merlin and Morgana, I suppose that means that Simon is an heir as well. This is another thing to add to his plate. Not only is he a mage, but he’s also the prophesises Greatest Mage, the secret son of a dictator, and the missing heir to one of the most influential magickal families in the World of Mages.

Yup, I am definitely not telling Simon either.

“Yes, but he’s a dud,” professor Bunce says, but he looks very uneasy while saying that. I don’t know this man’s views on power, so I don’t push him. “My wife and I know him through Lucy, since he never was allowed to attend Watford. He got married, but he has no children. I think he’s currently going through a divorce, though.”

“And Lady Salisbury knew my mother?” I ask. I ask this to further stray away from Lucy, but also because I am interested.

“Yes. I can give you her address if you want to.”

I shake my head. I already have it, but that is for another time. I’m curious to know more about my mother, but I also feel like I’m betraying Simon if I keep digging into his family without him even knowing that they are family. I only wanted the confirmation that Ms. Snow is from the Salisbury family and I got that.

“Thank you, professor Bunce, you’ve been a great help,” I say earnestly, “And I apologise for my aunt’s behaviour.”

“All forgiven, Mr. Pitch. I am saddened that she doesn’t read my research on the dead spots, but I can understand why she’s sceptical about everything. Are you sure that you don’t have any questions on the topic?”

“No, but I have read your research and it’s a believable theory.”

This brightens professor Bunce’s mood.

“It’s a terrible thing and this whole is enormous. We haven’t had any gaps in the atmosphere that are this big. All we can do is hope that this is the first and last instance of big holes being created.” Then he looks apologetic. “Sorry that your house is in the middle of all of this.”

I know that we’re the only family who’s hit. Thank Merlin the other big new dead spot is in a field.

“I don’t live here anymore.”

“Still, such a tragedy.”

It is. I look around and I realise that I have left the place where I grew up behind.

“It is.”

--

SIMON

After spending another day in Baz’s flat, it’s time to call him. I made amends with my mum yesterday, even though I still asked for some space, so I think it’s time to at least show him that I am willing to go on.

I’m lying in his bed and I dial.

He’s calling someone else.

Well.

I put my mobile next to me and wait. I’m usually not the one to wait by the phone, but I don’t have anything else to do and it’s quiet. I like it.

Ten minutes later, the mobile rings.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hi,” Baz sounds relieved, “You called?”

“Yeah, and you were calling someone else.”

I didn’t mean to sound that accusatory. Baz can call whoever he wants to whenever he wants to. I don’t own him.

“Agatha, I was calling Agatha,” Baz says, “She’s in San Diego, so due to time difference it’s best if I call in the evening.”

“Did you tell her?”

“… I did tell her you’re a mage, since she was also confused by your magic, but not everything else. I’d never tell anyone who you really are.”

The Greatest Mage, or whatever the fuck that means. The son of a dictator.

“Thanks,” I say, “I hope she’s well. How’s the natural disaster?”

“A disaster,” Baz deadpans and I laugh. I wonder if Baz did that on purpose. He likes to make me laugh. “I’m in Oxford now. My family had to move, since their own house is uninhabitable now. There’s no magic.”

“God, I wish that were me,” I mumble. When I realise what I said, I sit up in shock. “Oh. Oh my God, Baz, I’m so sorry, that is so insensitive.”

“It is, but I get it. Kinda.”

“But you don’t.”

“No, I don’t. Not really,” Baz gives in, “I can’t imagine no longer using magic. I’ve gotten used to using it less, now that I am with you and I had to hide it from you, but the moment I entered the dead spot, it was as if my lungs were giving out. There’s nothing. It’s suffocating. It’s death.”

“Hmmm,” I hmmm, because what else can I say? Maybe I should go to a dead spot one day to experience it for myself. After all, I’ve had magic all this time. I just didn’t recognise it as such. But now I can’t really think about having magic. “I asked my mum if I could give it away, but she said that’s not possible.”

“… You really hate it that much?”

I shake my head. Baz can’t see it.

“Hate is a strong word, but I just… It makes me uncomfortable. I know I’ve had it my entire life, and now I don’t know what to do with it. My mum offered to spell my memory, and I declined, and yet I wish I didn’t know. Fuck.”

“What can I do to help you, love?”

I shake my head again. Maybe we should video call next time. I’ve always been so much more expressive with non-verbal language. I shrug. I shake my head. I look away. But calling people makes me need to talk. I need to use my words.

“Nothing,” I answer honestly, “I don’t expect anything from you. I just called to say hi. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Baz says softly.

“When are you coming back?”

“Two days. Will you be there?”

“Of course.”

“So, we’re good?”

“We’re good,” I confirm.

“I thought you were mad at me.”

I shrug. Really, I need to use FaceTime next time I call him. There has to be a spell for a constant connection.

“Oh, I am, but I understand why you swore to my mum to not tell me. But I wanted to say hi and let you know that I’m waiting for you.”

“I’ll see you soon, Snow.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And then we say goodbye and I am alone, but I feel lighter. Baz is coming home soon and I can’t wait to see him.