#best compliments ive ever fucking gotten i kid you not

[d1zt0rt3dl3zb14n]

after years of being self conscious about my smile because of how odd and unsettling it was, i have finally found use in it through cosplaying not sasha/literally any avatars of the stranger.

i will now request for my body to be taxidermied once i die, good day, tma tumblr.

[poptod]

hello! i'd like to make an ahkmenrah x reader request! maybe present-day reader gets teleported back in time to when ahkmenrah was alive and they eventually get to the palace and stuff happens? maybe they tell him about modern life? and maybe reader is unnaturally beautiful to the ancient egyptians because humans evolve to be more attractive as time goes on so a person from our time would be hot shit 4,000 years ago? this is long lmao. thanks!

Notes: god ive always wanted to do this kind of storyline but i was worried about like,, logic and stuff getting in the way of the storyline. anyway! i was so fucking elated to receive this request. i got a bit carried away so apologies! WC: 3.2k

+

Okay. It isn't that bad.

Would you ever see your family again? Probably not, but you weren't ruling the possibility out.

Would you ever get to have sour patch kids again? Probably not. But even during the time you lived in 2020, you had eaten more concentrated sour patch kids flavor than all of the people around you combined.

This little village on the outskirts of ancient Thebes is hardly L.A.––though that's probably a good thing––and is small enough for you to know every inhabitant. Your shop there is small to suit the town, and well known ever since your arrival in this time.

They found you beside the river, thought you to be a gift from the Gods. You were hazy, though––whatever had so forcefully pushed you back in time had made your head spin, making you sick and unbalanced. So, when they asked if you did in fact come from the Gods, you had no way of defending yourself either way. Generally you've been denying it––they think you are a god, and the only way you've convinced them you're not a god is by saying you're a gift from them. It explains the way you look, unnaturally beautiful and alien amongst the more pure genetics of earlier humans.

Your shop is pretty simple. You make portraits from paint, more realistic than anything else that exists, and it only affirms their belief in your god-like status. Fortunately word seems to not have gotten out––the village has remained small, and no one from Thebes has run into you. Every now and then you get unreasonably anxious that a noble will find you and turn you into a slave. It's a worry most people around you have, so you find comfort in the fact that you're not the only one. Still, you're not quite accustomed to such an atmosphere––the thought of nobles and Kings noticing you still sends terrified aches into your stomach.

It's about two weeks in that it gets bad. People start to pass by the village, more than you would've thought, and they're all looking to trade goods, food, and information. The people of the village talk about you––you're something interesting, you can't deny that, but they don't know just how worried you are. Whenever you see someone you don't recognize outside your home, you refuse to come out.

Five days later and there's soldiers in your home, looking over your paintings on their way back to Memphis from conquering the realm of Kush. You hold a deep contempt for them––you don't know all that much about history, but you know how Egyptian soldiers and Pharaohs reigned power over the people of Kush.

The soldiers aren't all that worrying. What really gets your heart pounding is the final man to enter your hut; a man bearing a crown and a long sword, with golden braces around his wrists and a chest plated in green scales. Your fingers dig into the wood of your counter when he notices you. The crown on his head––it's the crown of both upper and lower Egypt.

This is a Royal.

"Where did you learn this skill?" He asks you, eyes trained on one of your bigger drawings. It's just on papyrus––not for sale––and hung on the wall as a display of your talent.

"I spent a little while travelling the world," you answer. Technically, growing up in the modern world was a bit like travelling the world; you got to see the cultures and practices of many, many people. "The rest of it's practice."

"The peasants here, they... they claim you came from the Nile. Is that true?"

"Well... that is where I was found," you say carefully, but you can already tell you've fucked up. The look on his face is indescribable beyond the fact that he's pleased.

"How would you feel coming back to the capital with me?" He offers to you, setting his hands on the counter and leaning forward. "I think my father would much like to meet you."

"I – I don't think I'm really cut out for -"

"Nonsense," he dismisses with a smile, taking your hand from its' spot on the wood. "We shall teach you proper writing skills, give you a beautiful home, and the salary isn't horrid either."

You can't just say no. If you do, he's going to ask questions––he's going to get confused, and he's going to get suspicious. No one would turn down an opportunity like this; free schooling, free housing, and much more money for something you already do.

"Well... alright," you say quietly, looking to the home around you that you built with the help of the other villagers.

"Wonderful. My name is Kamun."

He's not a very nice person, you come to find. Or perhaps he's just not your tastes––the soldiers seem to like him well enough, at least the ones who aren't completely subordinate to him, but his attitude towards women and poor people is scathing to say the least. Otherwise he's very amusing, with a good sense of humor and quite generous with his food and wine as long as he gets his fill of it first.

The boat back to Memphis, where the royal family currently stays, is a long ride filled with various entertainments. It's clear these are not soldiers accustomed to rough conditions––the dancing women and flowing beer is enough to tell you that. Instead, you surmise these are faux war-heroes; people adored in their hometown for doing nothing but intimidating others in a foreign country. They try to get cushy with you, soften you up to their words and touches. It doesn't work.

He keeps you close to him. You let him do it, sort of––it's better than telling him no. Better than starting a ruckus. Then again, avoiding a ruckus is what got you here in the first place, standing before the doors of the courtroom where a false God on earth rules the Nile.

"Father, I bring you a gift from Thebes," says Kamun, pushing you forward by the small of your back. You can't bring yourself to meet the Pharoah's eye, so you fall to your knees and bow.

Everyone is staring at you. You don't look normal, and they all know it, and you know it. You could cry from the heat of their eyes on your back.

One of Kamun's soldiers steps forwards, handing the Pharaoh and his wife several of the drawings they'd taken from you. Silence passes as the two scan your work.

"How did you achieve such a mirror of the human face?" The Pharaoh asks in a slow, deep voice that sounds as he looks––old, weathered, wise.

"They came from the Nile," Kamun answers for you, and murmurs take the crowd by storm. You, on the other hand, feel your heartbeat increase in massive increments, speeding your already uneven breath. "A gift from the Gods, the locals said."

"I can't – I am not magic," you rush out, hoping your clarification clears you of any responsibility to the Pharaoh. You know he rules everything––if he says you are to stay here, you have no choice, and you don't like it here. Too many people. "I cannot give you anything, my King."

"I think you're lying," says a voice, its' tone soft and a velvet low. It catches you off guard, brings you to raise your head and meet the eyes of someone you don't know; a young man dressed in gold beside the Pharaoh's throne.

You almost lose your breakfast as your eyes bulge, your mind instantly recognizing him and connecting the dots. You were, by far, not a historian, but you knew a fair amount of Egyptian history––namely a family in the Old Kingdom who was headed by the Pharaoh Merenkahre. The remaining statues and busts of the King and his son are astonishingly accurate, and there can be no doubt in your head.

That being said, there also can't be any reaction on your face. You try your best to reign your expression in.

"I..."

Actually, you do have something to offer now. You know the names––memorized the history, committed each event to memory, and now you can pull their lifestory off from the top of your head. Wouldn't that be valuable to a King; a seer of the future, to predict the rise and fall of the economy and the coming armies. Besides, you can't just say he's wrong. That'd be treasonous to them. So you have to agree you're hiding something, come up with an excuse as to why you hid it, and it proves harder than you thought. You're quickwitted, though––it got you away from the villager's wrath, and it will promote you to noble living now.

You hide a smirk beneath a calm expression as you address the younger prince.

"They gifted me foresight," you say quietly, pretending as though it hurts you to tell the truth, "but told me to never inform others."

"You are in the presence of Ra once more," the Pharaoh reminds you.

"And others," you point out. "I would... it would be better to discuss such matters.. in private."

Detailed information about already-past events is enough to sway him to believe you. The Pharaoh is surprisingly easy to convince, and with a few, meaningless predictions of the future, he gives you housing in his own palace. Kamun looks proud of himself––puffs his chest out in front of his father and earns no compliment. Ire laces his glare as it falls upon his brother, Ahkmen, praised for his ability to see through your obvious lie.

The Pharaoh asks his younger son to guide you to your room. Apparently it's closer to his room than it is to Kamun's, and evening is approaching fast. The walk there, while short, is marked by a conversation composed mainly of Ahkmen's questions and your answers. When the two of you reach your room, he doesn't leave––actually, he follows you in and locks the door.

There's nothing more terrifying than a man with unchecked power, and there is no one watching you.

No fail safe.

You gulp.

"I know you're still not telling the truth," he says, and though it dismisses several of your worries it still begs the question; how did he notice? "Just thought I'd spare you the embarrassment in front of my father, but my generosity ends there. Now I won't hurt you, and I won't tell anyone––I'm just curious."

Oh thank fuck. He's not going to rape you.

"I'm not Egyptian," you blurt out.

"Obviously," he interrupts, but you glare him into raising his hands defensively.

"I'm from the future."

He stares at you. For a minute. You know this because you count it––he just pauses right in his stance, doesn't move, and stares at you for a whole minute like you just told him you're made of gold.

"I'm sorry, what?" He says, laughter suddenly wracking his body.

"It's how I know what's going to happen to your family," you say, hoping he'll believe you. Otherwise this handsome, seemingly-nice man is going to think you're insane for the rest of time. "I studied your family for years as a side-hobby, I don't know how to predict the future for anything but you and your father."

His laughing pauses, or lightens at least; enough for him to say, "actually?"

"Yes," you say, completely serious. This seems to gain his interest once more. "You have to help me. I know at some point people are going to ask me questions about other things and I'm not going to have an answer."

"Just do what all our priests do," he says with a chuckle.

"What do they do?"

"Lie," he says. You can't stop the grin that spreads across your face from the stupid joke, and when he sees that a shit-eating grin spreads across his own face, delighted he could make you laugh.

"Yes, well... I guess I could do that," you mumble in a laugh.

"There's no need for you to worry. Now that I know the truth, I can help you," he says, offering you something that takes nearly all the anxiety out of your brain. After two days travel with a prince, it feels like it took 50 pounds off your shoulders.

"Thank you, so much," you chuckle in relief.

"Of course. I do have questions though, and I want you to answer them."

"Anything."

These questions of his, they come at all times––almost at a constant rate when he takes you on long walks, which he does often. He passes it off to his father as an interest in your beauty, and it apparently works. This little lie also helps you enormously in avoiding the romantic advances of many of the people you come into contact with. You're still not quite sure how it works, since Egyptians supposedly had a strong sense of patriotism, but you look rare and they idolize it. Every eye that falls upon you sees something beautiful, and you can't understand it.

At least Ahkmen is normal. He doesn't talk about you being beautiful. Ever.

And it kind of makes you sad.

"Would you say people on the whole are happier in the future or in the past?" He asks you, his words surrounded by the warmth of a summer day in Egypt.

Birds chatter loudly in the trees around you, singing in the humid air that marks the mating season for many of them. The flowers that surround you are already familiar––you thought it would take longer for you to commit the shapes and colors to memory, but here you are. Dressed in gold-laced silk and turquoise necklaces.

"I think the happiness of a population is dependent entirely on the circumstances surrounding it," you say. Sometimes your answers relate more to the human condition than the progress of time on the human race; he likes these answers, too, so you tell him exactly what you think. "Six thousand years from now, there are times of great misery. One is even called the Great Depression, but five years before that were some of the most prosperous times my country had ever seen. The same cycle is evident here."

"So.. great misery and great happiness come in waves?" He asks, pace slowing as he tries to understand what you're saying. You pause along the pathway, allowing him space to think.

"It's a pattern, actually. When the economy goes up, it will always come down. Recessions happen right after economical booms. And yes," you say before he can ask, "a time of unease will follow the prosperity of the current years. But it won't be for a time yet."

"Will it happen in my lifetime?"

He's murdered about three years from now. You think you might be able to stop it, but if you do, it'll alter history quite a lot. Either way, he wouldn't live long enough to see the recession the building of the great pyramids caused.

"No," you say. "But I'd prepare for it anyway, if only to keep your citizens safe."

"Of course. You... you are a great scholar," he tells you, resuming the slow walk down the shore of the Nile.

"Oh. Uh, thank you," you mumble as a blush fills your cheeks.

"What did you do in your time?"

"I was an artist, but I spent a lot of time giving lectures on the role of autistic people in ancient Egypt. Autistic people are often timekeepers," you say, and you know he'll figure out what you mean. Autistic isn't a term here, but many timekeepers of these ancient times were autistic, and considered highly by their societies.

"You might be able to give lectures again, if you'd like," he suggests. "People would come from far and wide to hear you speak. And you've got things to say that I know many scholars will find interesting."

"Mmm," you wince, "I kind of want to stay away from altering history too much."

"Oh, yes. My apologies," he says in a softer voice.

"It's alright," you say. "I'm glad you think I would be a good choice for that kind of thing, though."

He chuckles bashfully as he turns to the ground, scuffing his sandals as he walks.

Ahkmen is sweet––much sweeter than any of his family members, and you find yourself appreciating that every time you pass by his room. You pass his door often, always stopping a second to contemplate the tall, wooden doors. He's on the pathway between your room and the library.

Most of the time he's not in his room. Actually, you can usually find him in the library––there or outside in the markets or near the stalls. Today is different; he's been missing all day, and only when you walk the path back to your room do you hear his voice, talking to himself in his bedroom.

"They're bombarded with just such compliments, though. I can't – I can't stand out!"

"Or maybe you should, because you still haven't said a single thing yet and they probably think you're completely uninterested and that's why they aren't noticing you?"

"You and your... logic," Ahkmen spits.

"Come complaining when you kiss them under my advice."

As you attempt to peek through the crack in the door you stumble, knocking your hand against the wood. You barely hesitate before knocking again––cool and collected, smooth to slip into another lie.

"Oh! Hello, um – hi," he says awkwardly, slipping out of the room when he sees you. He quickly closes the door behind him, careful to keep you from seeing the other person in his room, but you can't bring yourself to care about the stranger.

Think of an excuse, why am I here?

"Oh, that's... I like your flower," he comments softly, eyes flickering between your eyes and the flower tucked into your hair. You'd forgotten about it, but raised your hand to touch the petals as you smiled. The perfect excuse

"Thank you. I thought you might like it, so I," you take it out of your hair and grab his hand, holding his palm upwards, "wanted to show you.. um, here."

Setting the flower in his hand, you curl his fingers around its' stem and push his hands back into his chest. He stares at you for a moment, confused by your strange behavior, but accepting of your gift anyway. You know him well enough now––he'd never decline a gift from you.

"A white iris," he tells you in a lofty tone. "A symbol of the dead. Funny it looks so lively on you."

You need to get out of here before your chest combusts.

"I need to go now, but I'll see you this evening, yes?" You ask, stepping instinctively closer. He doesn't back away.

"Of course. And, um," he takes your hands, keeps you where you stand as he slips the flower back behind your ear, "keep it. I want to see it on you at dinner."

He's close to you––close enough that it gets hard to distinguish his breath from your own, when you started holding his hand. When his other came up to your face. When he leans in and kisses your forehead. It's barely there, just barely, but there's no mistaking the soft plush, the affection clear behind gentle, precise movements.

You rush away the second he lets your hands go.

[jasontoddiefor]

Summary: Anakin time travels back to Dooku’s Padawan days and doesn’t know how to deal with the infuriating bastard. AN: I blame my discord. Read on AO3

Anakin tried to think of what words of wisdom Obi-Wan would bestow upon him. Probably something about patience and following the Force and how to not consequently fuck up the next sixty years of history, but Obi-Wan also never had to deal with a young Padawan Dooku eyeing him critically, like he was trying to figure out what made Anakin tick.

Anakin was kind of torn between wanting to rip his throat or... something else Anakin didn’t quite know how to define. Whatever it was, it wasn’t fair. Dooku was the Sith Lord who had cut off his arm, get a grip Anakin.

Except this Dooku really wasn’t. He was just Yoda’s Padawan, even if likely not for much longer given that Anakin’s only friend in this timeline, Initiate Qui-Gon Jinn was already ten years old. Yes, Anakin knew that it was a little pathetic that his best and only friend was a child half his size – Anakin had hardly recognized him when he’d first stumbled upon Qui-Gon. The boy was so small, it was bizarre. But it wasn’t like Anakin had many people he could interact with as long as he wasn’t totally caught up on the Republic’s current history. Master Yoda had strictly forbidden Anakin from revealing anything about the future to any member of the Jedi Order who was not on the Council.

Or Padawan Dooku, in whose lap Anakin had literally dropped when Darth Tyrannus’ weird Sith magic had torn Anakin from his own time, stranding him permanently in the past.

Sighing, Anakin attempted to ignore Dooku staring at him intensely. It was bad enough that he had private tutoring with the younger man – okay, it was just a couple months, but Anakin privately liked to hold it over his head – now he also followed Anakin just about everywhere but the fresher.

He fell back into the first position of Djem So. He couldn’t let his lightsaber skills get rusty just because he wasn’t fighting in a galactic war anymore. That was another thing that unsettled Anakin. No more sleeping in his tiny cabin on the Resolute, no more cramming Ahsoka’s mandatory lessons into the few breaks they had, no more droid armies, no more Separatists, no more Sith Lords.

Well, the latter two weren’t entirely true. The Senate had been broken long before Anakin had been born. Now that he paid attention to it, he could already see many of the issues that would cause it to split. He just hoped that the Council and him could do something against it. It was too bad the Chancellor wasn’t in office already. He was probably just a little kid right now, even younger than Anakin and the current Chancellor was by far not as charismatic as Palpatine had been.

He certainly was of no interest to the Sith either, no matter where they were hiding right now. Anakin had never managed to figure out the identity of Tyrannus’ Master and the baby Sith currently still checking him out definitely couldn’t tell him.

“Can I help you somehow?” Anakin asked, hoping he managed to keep all annoyance out of his voice.

He dropped out of his stance and turned to Dooku. The Padawan was sitting on one of the benches, working on a paper or another, maybe his final thesis. Anakin had never had to write one to become a Knight. For one, there was no time during the war, and on the other hand, he had already done that when he was fourteen and gotten really passionate about Nubian hyperdrives.

“No, not at all. I merely admire your execution of Form IV. You are very well practiced.”

Dooku sounded honest enough, but Anakin still felt like it was a backhanded compliment.

“Thanks,” Anakin replied. “Was that everything?”

Dooku raised a brow, the perfect picture of innocence, but Anakin knew better. He had fought a far more experienced version of the man in front of him and learned to call his bluffs. This Dooku was not really a threat. He was just there, constantly in the corner of Anakin’s vision and being a Force-damned distraction.

“I’m not the one asking questions here.”

No, but if he was there any longer, Anakin was going to shut him up in some other way.

“Just- get over here. You can go study in your room or whatever, no need to be in the training halls at three in the morning unless you want to spar.”

Dooku grinned cockily and got up from his seat, his lightsaber already in hand. It looked very different from the blade Anakin remembered defending against. Its blue color still startled him as well, but somehow it suited this young Dooku. He stepped onto the mats and Anakin resumed a position opposite to his opponent. They both bowed as it was tradition, then ignited their lightsabers. For a moment neither moved, then they both jumped into the battle. Dooku’s Ataru still caught Anakin off-guard, but his Makashi less so. He wasn’t a proficient Master of Form II yet, but that one at least Anakin was more than familiar with. The two of them exchanged blows with more Force than strictly necessary for a training spar, bringing emotions into it that should not be there. Anakin was pissed off because Dooku wouldn’t leave him alone, but he had no idea what he had done to cause Dooku to fight so viciously.

Then Anakin finally saw an opening and took it. He slammed is leg into the back of Dooku’s knee, causing him to stumble. With another Force-push, Anakin made him fall flat on his back. He rushed towards his opponent and held his blade to his neck.

“Yield,” Anakin ordered, but Dooku did not, at least not immediately.

Instead he was once more studying Anakin like he could see a possible weakness.

“Yield,” Anakin said again and finally Dooku replied with a “Solah.”

Anakin turned off his ‘saber and he should get up, step away from his defeated training partner, but for some reason he couldn’t get himself to do so, looking into Dooku’s troubled brown eyes.

“What is your kriffing problem with me?” Anakin finally asked, Dooku still pinned beneath him.

Apparently, that was all it took as for once the Padawan didn’t keep his thoughts hidden behind a mask of feigned politeness and sarcasm.

“My problem with you, Skywalker, is that you are poaching my future Padawan!”

Anakin blinked. Dooku must be joking. All the backhand comments and the challenges and it was for this?

“I’m not trying to steal Qui-Gon from you, you git!”

Dooku didn’t try to get up, but he did cross his arms in defiance.

“That’s not what it looks like from here, offering him extra tutoring and spending every free minute with him-“

“Who else am I supposed to talk to?” Anakin snarled. “I’m stuck here! My Master won’t even be born for another thirty years, my Padawan for another twenty and my-“

Anakin closed up. He shouldn’t think about them, all he had lost. He’d been doing so well but of course Darth Tyrannus in the making had to goad him. “All my friends, my family, are gone and if I ever see them again, they won’t be mine. I only know a handful of people in this time and Qui-Gon just happens to be one of them!”

Honestly, it was almost a little embarrassing to admit, but once Anakin had realized who the short blond Initiate was, he had almost started crying. The rooms in the Temple were still the same, as were the robes and the traditions and the lessons, but it wasn’t his home. All his people were gone and the Jedi that lived during these times were mostly strangers, a few long-lived ones such as Master Yoda being the exception. But they weren’t exactly people Anakin had been close with.

“You knew him in the future,” Dooku said slowly.

He didn’t look frustrated anymore, more interested suddenly as if he were seeing Anakin with new eyes.

Anakin nodded once, sharply. “He saved my life.”

“He’ll be a great Jedi then,” Dooku concluded, sounding utterly pleased.

“The very best,” Anakin confirmed.

Dooku then began to smile in earnest, kind and happy in a way Anakin had never seen before, hadn’t thought him capable of, to be honest. The whole thing threw Anakin off completely. Seriously, what was going on with this Dooku?

“What of his Master?”

He became a Sith Lord and joined the people that had killed his apprentice and then continued trying to kill his grand-Padawans, but no big deal.

“He’s a git,” Anakin said instead. “Super arrogant, terrible footwork, can’t even block a simple kick.”

Dooku snorted. “At least he’s not as bad as his sparring partner?”

“What?”

“Careless,” Dooku replied and tugged at Anakin’s collar, pulling him down.

It took Anakin perhaps a moment too long to realize that Dooku was kissing him, but he considered it fair given that just moments before the other had been attempting to beat the life out of him. The kiss was by no means spectacular, but Dooku was warm beneath Anakin’s hands and when they broke apart for air, Anakin had no troubles diving in for a second kiss, all rationality thrown out of the speeder as he pushed his tongue inside Dooku’s mouth and hurried to get his hands beneath the other’s robes.

“Not a word to anybody,” Dooku said as flipped them around, stripping Anakin out of his tabard.

Anakin only rolled his eyes. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

He could deal with the fallout of this once he had his rationality back and was not, in fact, about to let Padawan Dooku fuck him. That was a problem for tomorrow-Anakin, right-now-Anakin was a little busy taking off his clothes.

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[msmkcreates]

“so it’s a date?” “nope. not a date” for Slim/Reader? not from any specific fic, i dont think, though what ive read has been *chefs kiss*

I went with Mutt, since I'm not exactly sure what you meant by Slim? And also, this is absolutely not what you had in mind, most likely, so very sorry about that. On the bright side, it sets up for something else and I kinda like that.

Tags/Warnings: Eating Disorders, insults, not much fluff here, fat-phobia (?), reader has body issues and Mutt is an asshole, seriously an asshole

"Re-Hate-tionship" (SF!Papyrus/reader, platonic SF!Sans&Reader)

Was it bad, how much you hated Mutt? Was it wrong of you, as Black's best friend, to so completely despise his shit-talking older brother?

It can't be wrong, you reason, because he hates you just as much. He makes snide remarks at you, about your clothes, your hair, your anything really as long as it's something to pick at. He mocks you when you're trying to be serious, he pulls faces at the back of your head when he thinks you aren't looking, and you're pretty sure you could draw his middle finger from memory.

So, a mutual hate. A re-hate-tionship, if you will. You said that once, and he laughed, and then he looked so upset with himself for at least three days. Black has begged you both to get along, but honestly he's given up at this point--as long as nobody is throwing anything he lets you dance your dance of disapproval.

You'd asked him once, what you ever did to him, and he replied that you were a human of unknown intentions hanging around his brother...and you assumed that your retaliation had lit the flames to you being a bitch, which fed the hate. It isn't like you didn't try to be civil (okay it was rare but sometimes you tried) but it's hard to stay nice when three seconds after entering the house you're being insulted.

Today was no different, of course, you weren't sure what you'd expected when you'd come over for dinner. He hurled his usual insults at you, but this time he somehow hit a sensitive spot.

"why the fuck're we feeding you, too, again? honestly you could probably fit t'skip a meal, flesh-bag."

You stiffened immediately, and Black noticed. His face was full of fury, ready to tell Mutt off, but he didn't say anything when you sharply shook your head.

But it was too late, he'd noticed your lack of response. He didn't make another stab at your weight, at least not right away, but he smirked like he'd won something as you stabbed at your salad, perforating it over and over but ultimately pushing it away.

You weren't very hungry anymore.

It was halfway through the night, the movie still barely ramping up through the action, when he broke from his usual game of begrudging silence to take another crack at you.

"yer movie picker is shit," he said simply.

"It's a classic, everybody likes this movie," you huffed. "At least, anyone who isn't a complete degenerate. Guess I can't expect you to have any sort of taste, not like me and Black."

That earned a snicker from Black, almost a stamp of approval, and Mutt scowled. You only smiled back sweetly.

"i dunno if you can talk 'bout taste, do y'even taste the snacks you shove in yer face? or are y'just hooverin' them down?"

You pressed your lips into a thin line of displeasure, your free hand not holding the popcorn moving to Black's knee, squeezing as you felt him tense beside you. You don't respond, glaring at the TV in front of you, but you do put the popcorn aside, instead crossing your arms and wholly ignoring his presence.

It's fine. It wasn't as if you hadn't been horrible to him on other nights. You insulted him just as much for things he might be sensitive about--his scars, his golden tooth, other appearance based insults you'd be ashamed to repeat to your mother. Maybe if he didn't get a reaction, he'd poke at something else and leave your eating habits alone.

At the very least his little victory kept him in smug silence until the credits rolled.

"PERHAPS WE SHOULD SEND THE LEFTOVERS HOME WITH YOU, MY DEAR," Black said, bundling the last of it into a Tupperware. "DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR LACK OF APPETITE TONIGHT."

"M'fine," you said, waving away his thinly veiled concern. "You guys keep it."

"a shocking twist of generosity," Mutt added in a bored tone from the living room.

"I'm sorry, did I ask you? Or in some way imply that I was talking to you at all?" You huffed, glaring at him as Black rolled his eyelights, packing the Tupperware into your bag. "You know, you'd be a lot more fun to be around if you didn't spend every waking moment being an asshole."

"i don't spend every moment being an asshole," he chuckled, leaning over the half-wall that separated the kitchen and the living room. "it's somethin' i can turn off, so if that's my worst trait at least m'pretty."

"Gag me," you spat.

"now there's an image."

"Ew!" You scoffed, turning away from him to look at Black with exasperation.

"it's a date, then?" He laughed.

You looked back at him, horrified. "No, no, not a date, definitely not a fucking date. If you think you're coming anywhere close to my mouth with any filthy fucking part of your body--"

"what, i thought you liked a little sausage?" He practically purred. "y'certainly eat like ya'd suck a mean dick."

"MUTT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Black said swiftly, but the damage was done.

It seemed he had found his new Favorite Thing to poke at about you. The unbothered look on his face as Black raised his voice at him was enough to make that blindingly clear, and you set your jaw, fists clenching as you glared at him.

"I eat like everybody else!" You said finally, hands shaking in your rage. "I'm not fat!"

"OF COURSE, HE DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY--" Black tried, and you shook his hand off your arm.

"He did mean it that way!" You flipped Mutt off, with gusto. "Fuck you, and that isn't an invitation."

With that, you took off, storming out and onto the terrace. You would have left completely but your stuff wasn't all together yet and you didn't fancy coming back for it in twenty minutes. You slammed the sliding glass door as good as you could and dragged a deck chair to the edge of the balcony, plopping down and leaning on your crossed arms, staring down into the trees and foliage behind the building.

You could hear Black blowing up on Mutt inside, though the soundproofing was good enough that you couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, only the tone of it. He knows all about your history with your eating disorder, you'd broken down and cried to him after he'd asked you one too many times if you'd gotten enough to eat.

You understand that underground, resources were scarce, and that's why he always makes sure you've eaten enough. He's been good about his wording since then, carefully asking if you have everything you need, with heavy implications that he means food. It's worked thus far, and sending leftovers home was kind of his way of saying he loved you.

You assume, then, as you calmed down a bit, that Mutt really meant no offense when he said you eat well. It was probably a compliment, even, as veiled as it was. And it wasn't like you'd ever opened up to him about your strained relationship with food and your weight. He probably thought it was funny that a small compliment made you clam up in a way his insults never had.

The door slid open behind you and you sighed, closing your eyes. "It's fine, Black, I'll get over it."

"good, here i thought i'd hafta apologize."

You huffed and turned a glare on Mutt as he closed the door behind him. That was not your best friend as you had expected. "What, did he make you come out here to say sorry? Well, you can save it, I don't take insincere apologies."

"actually, he told me he's fed up with how i treat you and that he didn't want to see me within a mile of ya again." Mutt pulled up the second terrace chair and took a seat. "but i don't think i can do that."

"What, come to make fun of me, then?" You hissed, leaning back and glaring over at him. "Maybe call me names? Make pig noises?"

"i wouldn't do that," he said, seriously. "i pick my words pretty carefully, you know, if i'd'a known you had a thing about food i woulda picked 'em even more carefully."

"Since when do you give a shit about my feelings?"

"always," he said, and you snorted, disbelieving. "we may not get along, but yer important t'sans, that makes you important t'me. an' you ain't nothin' but beautiful, so i guess i didn't think that you'd take it as me callin' you fat."

"First you insult me, and now you lie to me." You stood up, and he looked right up at you as you loomed over him the best you could. "Anything else? Maybe poke fun at my dead mom, or fake-ask-me-out?"

"why would anyone fake asking someone out?" He asked, genuinely surprised. "i'm a mean bitch at heart, so is sans, but we'd never do that."

You huffed. "Well then congrats, you're better than the kids I went to school with. Barely."

He hummed thoughtful and you were about to turn and leave him behind--

"wanna fuck?"

Slowly, you turned around, looking at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry?"

"i said," he stood, crowding you against the balcony fencing, his hands on either side of you. "wanna fuck? you an' i might not get along, but you're fine as fuck, i'm not so bad, and i gotta bed we can work out our aggressions on. so, wanna fuck?"

You inhaled, hands on his chest and ready to push him away...but you're due for some stress relief and if anything you can trust him not to get attached, and despite being the opposite of friends you trust he'd never do anything to hurt you, if only for his brother's sake.

"You know what?" You breathed, straightening your posture. Your hands went from pushing to gripping his shirt. "Yeah. Let's fuck. You've had worse ideas."

[cryptocism]

ive been scrolling through ur blog for a while (cuz ur dc opinions are Top Fucking Notch) and i saw what you said abt bart in tt 03 and f:fma and while i totally agree (it killed tt 03 for me lol) im super curious abt how youd do his development if given the opportunity?

I’ve been thinking about this one like A Lot so buckle up this is long: 

it would kind of depend? On whether or not he’d be in an ensemble team like Teen Titans or with his own solo series. 

I understand metatextually why he became Kid Flash in TT, since they needed him to be more mature and a more recognizable character and having him upgrade costumes/codenames is a good shortcut for both. But I’ve already talked about why it didn’t sit right with me. 

So, lets flip the script a little bit - the start of TT would be largely the same. Our boy Bart is on the new Titans team, and things are kind of awkward after YJ disbanded, also Max is gone and Bart’s relationship with Wally is still not doing great. Things are rough, Bart has newfound doubts to deal with, especially now that the world seems to have gotten harsher and everyone seems to have a lot less patience to deal with him. The pressure to be more mature and a recognizable character is coming from other characters now rather than an authorial need: he’s reminded to take things seriously, or that he should know better by now, that he needs to slow down and think more. So Bart decides a change is necessary, and we get the library scene. He reads all the books, he reappears as Kid Flash, saves Tim via bullet catch, disassembles a gun, takes down Slade, etc. etc. Here’s my departure from canon though: it doesn’t work. 

Kid Flash is not a solution, or a magical cure for immaturity. Reading a whole library so he’s miraculously smarter and more mature and capable is, at its core, a pretty naive conclusion. And it makes sense he would think that. But it doesn’t work. He’s still impulsive, distractible, hasty. He can’t put a lid on his own sense of humor. People still think he’s annoying or lazy or careless. And he keeps trying - he knows all this stuff now, he read a whole library! - but he’s still apparently too much the same person as he's always been. And even though he’s trying very hard to live up to the Kid Flash name, it still doesn’t feel like him. Wally doesn’t like it, since Bart is literally just imitating him now, which makes things between the two even worse. And Bart keeps worrying about what’s supposed to come afterwards, since “Kid Flash” is inherently temporary, and while Impulse was only peripherally related to the flash legacy, Kid Flash comes with expectations. 

Bart is trying very very hard to be ‘grown up’ and ‘mature’, but he hasn’t actually learned anything other than a bunch of facts (which are still useful, but) he’s just trying to be who everyone expects him to be. 

And this is what i mean about the ensemble thing, because this arc would be in conversation with the rest of the core four, who are also trying very hard to be people they’re not, but all in different ways. Bart obviously with the codename change, but Cassie, Tim, and Kon all have similar issues, they’re all trying to imitate people. 

Tim is doing his Batman jr. routine, reverting back to the persona he had at the start of YJ. He’s cagey and mysterious and does questionable things without telling anybody, because he’s de-facto leader of the team again, and he has to be better than he is. No more kid stuff, the Titans are serious, he has to treat it like a job, not like a sleepover. And this whole act is putting distance between him and his friends. 

Cassie is trying her hardest to put herself in a support role. Donna’s gone and she has some big shoes to fill (she and Tim could probably bond about that if he weren’t stubbornly trying to brood at all hours of the day) and she’s doing her best to just Be Donna. Cassie and Tim would work better with their team roles swapped, and they both sort of know this - Cassie is naturally charismatic, thinks on her feet, can maintain good PR, and when she’s confident in herself is great at leading. Tim is partial to planning ahead, secrets, and keeping in the shadows, and is better at being a confidant and emotional problem solver among the team (when he allows himself to be open among friends, that is). 

But they’re both trying to fit themselves into what they see as pre-ordained roles: Robin is leader, Wondergirl is a supportive mediator. But Cassie’s got a temper and little patience for people being idiots, and Tim’s not predisposed to spotlights. 

Kon on the other hand has a story that’s less about who he should be and more who he shouldn’t be. The Lex Luthor dad storyline is here (minus the mind control shit, although the threat of it is still brought up) and Kon is doing his level best to do nothing that could be interpreted as something Lex might do. While everyone is doing their best to Not be their own person, Kon has no idea if he ever was his own person. He’s questioning everything he does, wondering if it’s some kind of evil gene showing through when he’s angry or petty or selfish. He’s going through lots of clone angst. 

So they’re all dealing with expectations and who they are or aren’t supposed to be, trying to fit themselves into boxes that don’t suit them and then convincing themselves that this is how it ought to be. Kon ought to avoid feeling or acting in any negative light because any sign of Luthor is a sign of evil, Cassie ought to tone herself down and act like Donna, Tim ought to step up and lead the team and act like Dick, and Bart ought to listen better and be smarter and slow down and grow up and do his level best to just Be Wally. 

Throughout the issues they’d all get a spotlight on their various crises, taking them through complimenting character arcs. Kon would realize through a couple close encounters and chats with ma and pa and talks with his friends and citizens of metropolis that nobody is all good or all bad. Clark can be a real asshole sometimes and Luthor’s actually done a fair bit of good (usually in his own interests, but still we’re gunning for nuance). Turns out he doesn’t have a dark side to be tempted by, he was made from 50% complex person and 50% complex person, just like everyone else. Which means he isn’t destined to be the next Superman, or Superman’s next supervillain. He’s just like, a person. With his own thoughts and feelings that have nothing to do with genetics. 

Tim would wear himself out and hide it from everybody until he killed himself, but it’s only when he sees Cassie also wearing herself out too that his ‘somebody needs somebody’ instincts kick in and they’re actually able to talk about how miserable they both are. Through some trial and error they’re able to figure out a good co-leader system for leading the team, having each other’s backs along the way, which allows for them both being able to help out the other members of their team with their own shit i.e. Kon and Bart’s identity issues. 

Bart is, like Cassie and Tim, wearing himself out trying to be this perfect version of Wally that never actually existed. He actually hates the recognition the new name gives him, because people have expectations for him now, ones he can never seem to live up to. He’s bad at following orders still, which makes him a pretty shit sidekick for Wally, in fact he’s just pretty shit at being a sidekick in general. But, he reasons, he’s supposed to be grown up and responsible now, and responsibility is all about doing shit you hate until you die, so he’s probably on the right track. 

It’s only later, once he gets some support from his friends, who help him deal with things like Max and YJ disbanding and stuff that he’s able to actually sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Wally. Wally confesses that he understands the pressure to live up to a legacy, and how he did his best to just Be Barry when he became the flash. In fact while Bart was trying to live up to Wally and be a good sidekick, Wally was trying to live up to Barry and be a good mentor. Wally’s the one to tell him that Bart’s always done his own thing, and is at his best when he does. They both agree they suck as partners, but maybe they should’ve tried to be family first. And there’s probably a racing metaphor in there somewhere because speedsters love their racing metaphors. 

ANyway Bart returns to Impulse, forging a new path, getting along better with Wally now and hanging out with him just as civilians with no pretense. He learns some valuable lessons about how maturity can’t be learned in a book, and that he’ll get it himself the more he lives and learns from experience. The Titans all get along better now that they’re all sure of their places in the group, and they can all go on just being themselves without worrying about expectations or roles to fill or whatever. 

...If Bart still had his solo series instead though, id actually want it to go in a sort of different direction? The thing about living up to predecessors and trying to be some ideal version of another person works well for the Titans because they can all deal with a similar issue in different ways, but I think it would also be interesting to do the complete opposite. 

Lots of shitty things happened in very quick succession in Bart’s life that he had no control over: Max’s disappearance, having to move in with Jay and Joan (who are nice, but whom he barely knows,) leaving his friends in Alabama, Young Justice breaking up… Basically, things kind of suck for Bart, and all he wants is for them to go back to the way they were. Instead of trying to be grown up or mature or whatever, Bart is resisting every single encroaching thing about coming adulthood. Because all growing up ever seems to mean is that everything changes and either you have to leave the people you love or they have to leave you. 

So this series would focus mostly on that, both in his civilian life; going into high school, not knowing anybody, the few friends he does make are less interested in ‘kid stuff’ and more focused on dating and interpersonal drama, high school itself seems to be geared entirely toward the “what are you going to do with your life” question, when he visits his old friends back in manchester, they’ve all kind of grown up without him. And in hero life; everyone from Young Justice is trying to move on and not talking to each other, his father figure and mentor is gone and he's not really jiving well with the rest of the flash family, and people just seem to have less patience for Impulse now that he’s older. 

Growing up is hard. It’s hard and no one understands. Especially not when you’re also a superhero and have dealt with some quality trauma like losing loved ones and feeling yourself die. So it makes sense that Bart would resist that in every way possible, do his best to pretend like everything is still how it used to be, for once in his life just trying to make everything stay put. He refuses to get rid of his old stuff, he doesn’t want to treat any villainous threats seriously, people in school keep talking about college and jobs and tuition fees and Bart wants none of that, he acts out, refuses responsibility, gets reckless under the pretense that he never used to have to be cautious. 

And this is the part where I’d bring in Inertia, cause Thad was robbed and I want him to have an actual arc that doesn’t end with infant-splosion. Also he can have a good ol companion arc to Bart. Welcome to foils everybody, where two identical boys with opposing life experiences get to thematically compare and contrast with each other as they deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up. 

So, I’m ignoring every appearance Thad ever made after Impulse 1995, picking up instead where his story left off where he swore vengeance on his creators and disappeared into the speed force. And he’s off to do exactly what he said; Thad Thawne II is going to kill his namesake/grandfather/creator - the president of Earthgov. 

But, turns out assassinating the president of a whole fucking planet is a lot harder than he thought - Thad has planned extensively for every moment of his life, so once he starts going off script things predictably go a little off the fuckin rails. Thad fails, obviously. For one because despite how much President Thawne might deserve to die, Thad at this point hasn’t done anything worse than attempted murder, and making him a killer would put a wrench in any kind of redemption arc he could have. Also he’s acting on rage, in a highly emotional state, basically going up against the entire government. Of course he’s going to get caught by the science police and brought into custody. 

Bart, meanwhile is jumping with both feet into any kind of escapism he can find, which involves various time travel shenanigans and lands him in the 30th century. He gets to reunite however briefly with his mom, but the mission he had gets derailed by the appearance of Inertia. 

Every time Bart and President Thawne interact, the president always seems to make a bid to sway Bart to the Thawne side. This never works, which is part of the reason Inertia exists in the first place; a version of Bart that the president could control. When Inertia landed in the 30th century, hell bent on assassinating his creator, the President subdued him and eventually coerced him back over to the Thawne side of the family feud. No longer a rogue agent, Inertia is back to his old self, all about destroying Bart and the rest of the Allens. 

They have a battle, taking place all over the 30th century city, and Bart does his best but Inertia has the entire Earthgov police force on his side, and Bart eventually gets captured. He gets taken to some kind of holding facility, meets with the President who monologues as him while Inertia stands beside him like a good lackey. Then suddenly the speed-inhibiting cuffs or whatever Inertia had put on Bart to stop his speed malfunctions, and Inertia drops the act, now Impulse and Inertia working together to take down the Earthgov people holding them there. 

Turns out as soon as Inertia knew he couldn’t take out the president, what with all the military force President Thawne had on his side, he bided his time until he could. He uses Bart’s help to finally get President Thawne cornered, and the assassination plan is back on track. Except now Bart is the thing stopping him. He makes the argument about how murder bad. Heroes don’t kill, etc. Inertia insists he isn’t a hero. But Bart reminds him that that’s not how Max saw him. 

Inertia hesitates just enough that President Thawne is able to get away, and now the two of them have to make an escape attempt back to the past. Bart insists on trying to take Meloni with them, and they try but ultimately fail somehow (maybe someone has to stay behind to make sure they can make the trip safely, idk. At first Thad is willing to stay behind, since there’s nothing really for him in the past. But Meloni knows that President Thawne would destroy him if he did, and she can’t let harm come to either of her sons - and she does consider Thad her son, just like Bart. She’s had far too little time with either of them, but she loves them all the same. She tells them to take care of each other, and is the first to encourage them to be like, actual brothers.) 

After yet another tearful goodbye, Bart swearing he’ll find a way for them to all be together again, Bart and Thad go back. And they do end up having to lean on each other, because shit’s tough for the both of them. Thad initially wants to apologize and possibly reunite with Max and Helen, and then finds out Max is gone. And Bart has someone who understands exactly what he’s going through. 

Things get a little more lighthearted from here. Bart and Thad don’t get along well at first, since they’re both going through rough times and lots of changes and their first instincts are to lash out at each other. But eventually they form a sort of camaraderie through shared grief, then shared fish-out-of-water experiences. Which evolves into shared inside jokes and video games and comic books and they become slow but steady friends. 

They upgrade into brothers when Bart defends Thad against the repeated (and not entirely undeserved) suspicion he receives from the rest of the Flash family. Jay and Joan take him in, but it’s clear they don’t trust him, and neither does Wally. Bart stands up for Thad, arguing that he’s as much of a Thawne as Thad is, and treating Thad like he’s the next Cobalt Blue is just going to ensure that history never changes and stupid family feuds are forever. After this, Thad starts trusting Bart a little more, and kind of solves Bart’s problems regarding encroaching adulthood with his friendship. Neither of them really had a childhood, and Thad hasn’t experienced 21st century life at all, much less the societal expectations to grow up. So Bart gets to have fun again, and Thad won't judge any of his games or his books or his attitude or interests for being childish or lame because he’s fascinated by the experience of anything regardless of the target audience. 

And from there it's a series about these two becoming brothers and growing up and the different lessons they learn and wacky characters they meet along the way. Thad ironically also puts Bart in a position where he has to take on more responsibility, since even though Thad can imitate heroic actions and is actually pretty good at it, he doesn’t understand what makes them heroic. Bart has to draw on a lot of the things Max taught him and now has to teach them to Thad. 

There’s crossover comics with Superboy, where Bart laments about having to deal with grown up stuff, and Kon gives him a new perspective on the whole “being young forever” thing, since that was a reality Kon actually had to deal with and it sucked. 

Through various misadventures they meet new and familiar characters to give them different perspectives on the whole passage of time thing. Villains who despise children or childish things, villains who embrace it but probably too much. People who talk about growing up as the worst time of their lives, others talking about it like it was the best. Kids and adults alike trying to force Bart and Thad to act a certain way while treating them another. 

The two of them come to opposing conclusions about this; Thad wants to embrace change completely, partly because he wants to experience firsthand all that life has to offer, but also his worldview depends on believing that anyone can change, and anyone can be better, because he has to believe he can be redeemed for all the shitty stuff he did. Bart, on the other hand, knows his life isn’t perfect but thinks, based on recent events, that it’s all just going to get worse from here, and so resists change as much as possible. 

Thad, in his haste to experience everything, sometimes ends up going too far, either burning both of them out, or pushing them into situations that they’re not ready for or are ill-equipped to handle. Bart, on the other hand is so resistant to change or responsibility that he stops them from doing actual necessary things like planning their futures or doing chores or making new friends. This acts as the crux for their main conflict that slowly builds throughout the series, and then in a finale to the arc, they both figure out a way to get Meloni back to the past, and to raise some stakes they have a falling out in the middle of the mission about it. 

Bart accuses Thad of trying to leave him behind, or trying to be the better version of him again, and that old insecurity about Thad replacing him crops up. Thad thinks Bart just can’t handle anything outside his personal bubble and wants to force him to live in the real world. Plus he also feels kind of abandoned by Bart, who often would leave Thad to do the scary adult things on his own. 

Tensions still high, there's suddenly an external threat to deal with - probably president thawne and the science police - and they attempt to continue arguing even while fighting the president. I’m making this up as I go so lets say yada yada big climactic moment it's looking like the two might fail to get Meloni back and they’re both still angry with each other and Bart just… can’t take it anymore. 

He keeps losing people, and the ones he keeps he always seems to screw up with. And at the end of the day he’s just a kid who wants his mom. Is that really so much to ask? So there’s a reversal, a parallel, if you will, of the assassination attempt from the beginning of the series, this time with Bart. Or, because I don’t think many people would buy that Bart would actually ever for real kill someone, maybe he’s finally about to get his mom back, but she doesn’t want to go (since she made that deal with the president that he wouldn’t harm anyone of the Allen family so long as she stayed with him) so he’s trying to force her, risking the lives/well-being of the entire Allen bloodline across all of time. 

This time it’s Thad who has to talk him down, who has to remind him about being a hero, who has to remind him that trying to go back to some magical time in the past where things were better is just going to stop him from learning and growing as a person, and that doing anything and everything possible to get there is just going to lead to Bart doing something he Actually Can’t walk back from. 

Alright but here’s the thing because having Bart be forced to leave his mom again for like the billionth time is tired and overdone, and personally the whole message about heroics involving extreme and damaging amounts of sacrifice can only go so far. So here; Thad and Bart are both right. 

Like on the one hand, yeah, it’s childish and selfish for Bart to want to be with his mom at the expense of literally everyone else in his family. On the other hand, the fact that they can’t be together because some asshole is upholding a stupid grudge is bad and unfair and wrong. The issue needing to be fixed is not the kid who wants his mom, it’s the jackass keeping them apart (and who also wants to kill/imprison people). So Bart convinces Thad that they have to save Meloni, and Thad convinces Bart that there has to be another way - one where they get their mom back and the Allens don’t have to be hunted. 

The whole story would be leading up to the two of them coming to this conclusion; the healthy middle between the two extremes. Where they have the maturity to plan ahead and sort through their differences and figure out the best course of action with the least amount of collateral, but they don’t let go of that adolescent need for justice and fairness - that thing that makes you dig in your heels and say “no. That’s not fair, that’s not right.” 

SO here’s where I’d put the title card: “Bartholomew and Thaddeus Take Down The Government”. How do they do it? No idea! I’m flyin by the seat of my pants here! Do they run for office? Do they publicize the president’s crimes in such a way he gotta go to jail? Do they somehow turn public opinion against him enough to get him out of office? idk!!! And I don’t remember enough about Earthgov’s political situation to put an accurate read on what exactly they might do to disrupt it. 

Either way they don’t kill him, manage to free their mom, and they all go back to the past together. And a new arc would involve the three of them getting settled in the past; Meloni would be a main character now, and hers is a two-pronged fish out of water story where she’s trying to figure out how shit works in the past, with overtones of the struggles of being a single parent. 

And... I’m not going to say any more about that because this is long enough already oof. 

TL;DR I think a coming of age story would be cool for Bart, and having to deal with growing up when he never really had a childhood. Also the comic itself would be aimed at younger audiences, who can probably relate to having a Bad Time in the Teens and wacky hijinks with friends and siblings.

[downwardfalling]

the world is moving

“Did it hurt?” Tony reaches over with his right hand, a piercing red silhouette in the night, and gently grazes the swollen skin.

“Oh,” Peter blinks twice. Then, “No.”

- Or, Peter and Tony’s relationship in five acts, as told through bruises.

Read on AO3 :))

;;

Act I

The length between the tip of Tony’s pointed dress shoes and the threshold of Peter’s hotel door is simply a single footstep. And yet, Tony stands on one end, struggling to cross the distance. Peter’s fourteen, his more rational side reasons, and has already been spiderman for a couple of months at least. He should know how to treat a black eye.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter looks surprised to see him when Tony finally works up enough nerve to knock on the door. His worst worries are confirmed. Half of Peter’s face is swollen, marred by a bruise that encroach on his otherwise youthful features.

“In the flesh.” Tony gives something of a wan smile as he brushes past him.

“Wha-what are you doing here? I mean, not- not that I don’t want you here, of course.”

Tony doesn’t know how to answer the question without seeming like he cares too much, so he doesn’t. “Are you enjoying the hotel?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah, it’s great.” Peter pauses for a moment. Then, more quietly, as if sharing some great secret, he adds, “There’s even a TV in the bathroom, Mr. Stark. The bathroom. ”

Steve must’ve hit his head one too many times because he hears awe in Peter’s voice, and worse, finds it reassuring. But even sleep deprived and beaten, Tony knows the real reason why, as much as he refuses to admit it. The fact is, he messed up bad, and Peter saw the repercussions: Tony’s life work– his friendships, his career, his family– fell apart, loud and rickety like an unoiled machine. A part of him feared that Peter would finally see him for who he is. Not a hero. A fuck up. That same part of him is glad that Peter doesn’t. It’s selfish, but he puts it in the back pocket to unpack later.

“Thank you so much for this, Mr. Stark. It’s really great. I haven’t even been on a plane before, and now I’m fighting with the Avengers in an airport. I mean obviously, I would rather be fighting with the Avengers and not against the avengers, but you can’t win them all.“

Tony swallows hard, fighting back affection that Peter seems to command without knowing. He’s just too young. Too good. “No problem, kid. Do me a favor, and sit on the bed over there.”

Peter sits on the edge, clasping his hands neatly on his lap in front of him. He smiles, genuinely (teeth, gums, and all), even though he has bruised flesh under his left eye that forces it halfway closed. His right eye shines with reverence and youth and excitement that, along with affectionate, makes Tony sick to the stomach with guilt.

“You need ice,” Tony croaks, quickly turning away to hide whatever emotions he was uncareful enough to let show.

Peter either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t point it out. “Hm? For what?”

“For your face.”

“Oh.” He gingerly presses his fingertips against the skin under his eye, as if he had just remembered the bruise that had been the source of Tony’s penitence since he first saw it forming in the car ride back to the hotel.  

Tony hands Peter the bag of ice. “Keep this on for a little while.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Peter presses the ice to his eye and leans back to rest against the headboard. “Oh, by the way, Mr. Stark, I just wanted to let you know that you were super badass today.”

“Oh?” Tony snorts, sitting on the edge of Peter’s bed after his curiosity wins out over his better judgement. “How so?”

Peter grins. “Well, you’re always kind of badass. But seeing you in person today was on another level. And more importantly, seeing you fight for what you believe is right and what you believe would be the best for other people.”

“Oh,” Tony frowns, unbelieving and unused to receiving so many genuine compliments at one time. “You think so?”

“More than think so. Know so.” Peter presses on passionately, as if he somehow sensed Tony’s doubt. “My uncle Ben used to love Harry Potter, and he would always say that it is the quality of one’s convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.”

Peter leans closer to Tony, clenching his fist against his chest to show how strongly he believes in what he’s saying. “You’re a really good person, Mr. Stark! That’s why you will always be badass, even if Mr. Captain America doesn’t think so anymore.”

Tony blinks, trying to stave off sweet relief and the beginnings of tears that came with it. “Wow, kid. Are you always this…?” He makes a roundabout gesture with his hands, as if it were sufficient enough for his lack of a better word.

“Honest?” Peter offers.

Tony scans Peter’s face, looking for some hint of sarcasm, or some form of mockery, because there’s just no way someone can have so much faith in him. Instead, he sees what he’s seen all along, youth, and reverence, and just pure good. Tony has to get out of here fast before Peter gets himself into something he doesn’t want to be in.

“I should get going now.”  He gets to his feet as Peter blinks at him in confusion. ���Rest, and keep that ice on for at least another ten minutes.”

“Will do!” It’s the last thing Tony hears before he’s out the door.

The distance between Peter’s hotel room and the tip of Tony’s shoes had only been a single footstep. When Tony crossed it, he had unknowingly crossed a fine line. But as he walks to his hotel room, shaking his head, he vows to stay away. Because he destroys everything he touches. and the last thing he wants to do is destroy Peter.

;;

Act II

“Who knew shattering your leg would cause severe internal bleeding? Weird, right?”

“Pete, please stop talking, or I swear to Jesus himself, you will regret it.”

“Yessir,” Peter salutes, and for two seconds, looks like he actually considers listening to him. “But wow, I can’t feel my entire right side.”

“That’s it.” Tony says, stepping around Bruce to make threatening eye contact with him. “When you’re better, you still won’t feel your leg. Why? Because you won’t have a leg. And why is that? Because I will have ripped it right out of its socket.”

Peter’s eyes start to droop, the likely effect of the medication they had given him when he first arrived. Quietly, he mumbles, "That’s just cold.”

Bruce stops to remove his hands from the IV on Peter’s arms and places them on Tony’s shoulders, slowly guiding him backwards and out of the room.

“Hey, buddy, I think you should step out for a bit. Get a breather. Maybe even a cup of water.”

“What, why? I’m fine.”

“No, you’re hysterical.”

“No, I’m not"

“Yes. You are.”

Tony looks over Bruce’s shoulders and sees nurses frantically working around Peter’s bed. Peter, finally asleep from medication, looks peaceful and blissfully unaware, even when his right leg is mangled enough that pieces of his bone pierce through the skin, and the majority of his thigh is black from severe internal bleeding. Tony isn’t privileged enough to be spared from the sight. His stomach churns uncomfortably, and it makes him lightheaded. He looks down, and his hands slightly shake from adrenaline.

“Yeah, I could use a cup of water,” he finally relents.

“Good, I will let you know when we’re done.” Bruce pats him on one shoulder. He must see the reluctance on Tony’s face because he adds, “He will be fine, Tony,” and then shuts the door.

In the time he was locked out of the medbay (which he owns, Tony bitterly points out to himself), he had the time to get not one, but six cups of water. He could have gotten more, but had been too busy making an internal list. The first thing he had to do once Peter was out of surgery was strangle him. Then, he’d call his scary, yet attractive aunt, and suffer the consequences of Peter’s actions, while May coddles Peter through phone, and promises to visit straight away after work. Finally, he’d strangle Peter again, lovingly this time, and force him to promise to never pull a stunt like this ever again, only for Peter to break it, at most, three months later.

Bruce finally steps through the sliding glass doors as Tony tries to figure out the best way to break the news to May. “Alright,” he says, taking off his gloves. “He’s all fixed up.”

Tony gets off the chair he had been sitting on for the past three hours, and furrows his eyebrows. “As easy as that? No permanent bone damage?”

“As easy as that. His healing factor is really quite something else.”

“Don’t tell him that, or he might get more creative next time.”

Bruce rolls his eyes, but steps aside to let Tony through. “You can see him now. Be gentle, he just woke up.”

“Oh Brucie Bear,” Tony sighs, patting Bruce’s shoulder as he steps by. “What am I if not gentle?”

Peter had nearly fallen back asleep in the time he was left alone, and Tony, seeing him slowly nod off like the kittens in the cat videos Peter forces him to watch, feels all the previous agitation and anger leave him, as quickly as air deflating out of a balloon.

“Hey Pete,” Tony whispers. His fingers hover hesitatingly over his forehead, but eventually, he reaches to brush Peter’s fringe out of his eyes.. “How are you feeling?”

“Hm?” Peter squints at him, pushing up on his elbows. “Oh, hey, Mr. Stark. M’fine.”

“Wow, and the press calls me a dirty liar,” Tony says drly, leaning over to help Peter sit upright against the pillows. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Peter winces. “Not particularly, but I’m guessing if I don’t, you’ll go through Karen, and I have some pretty embarrassing footage I don’t want you to see. Shit. Shouldn’t have said that.”

“No harm done,” Tony says, his voice laced with faux comfort. “I’ve already seen them. Your impression of Thor is really cream of the crop. Absolutely spot on. I’m sure Thor would agree. You know, once I show it to him.”

Peter gasps, pressing his hand to his chest. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but I would if you don’t tell me who did this to you.”

Peter groans into his hands and sinks further into his pillows, deliberating his options for a few moments.

“Ugh, fine,” he eventually concedes, embarrassment too large a price. “But you have to promise me you won’t commit first degree murder.”

“No can do. Thou shalt not lie, and all that. Besides, I don’t think you should worry too much about what happens to him when he nearly tore you to shreds.”

Peter glances down at his tightly bandaged leg in a disappointed frown. The turn of his lips create harsh lines around his mouth and between his brows that make him look wrought with fatigue, and years beyond his age.

“Yeah,” Peter mutters, a bit breathless. “He really got me good.”

Tony places a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Pete,” he says gently, leaning down to make eye contact. “I know that you think you have to do this all alone, but you don’t. Whoever hurt you is dangerous, and deadly. You could’ve died, Peter. It does not make you weak to ask for help.”

Peter reaches up to grip the cuff of Tony’s button-up, tugging on it until Tony sits on the edge of his bed. He doesn’t make an attempt to move after that, simply clutches the fabric tightly between his fingers, wrinkling the material where it disappears underneath his fingertips.

“He calls himself the Green Goblin,” Peter whispers, many minutes later. “He’s large, and strong and…and scary.“

“Okay,” Tony says, nodding his head. “Thank you for telling me. We’ll figure it out together. Maybe I can even threaten Rhodey into helping. Not that I would need to. He’s putty in your hands.”

Peter laughs, releasing his grip to press the back of his hand against his mouth. “ Mr. Stark,” he says, giggling. The lines on his face disappear to reveal the youth and naivety that Tony will always associate with Peter.

“It’s your stupid cat videos,” he says, smiling, pleased with his laughter.

“Thank you,” Peter whispers. His hands fidget for a little, until finally settling to fiddle with the loose seams of the blanket. “And I’m sorry if I scared you.”

Tony grunts. “Why do you always thank me for doing nothing? And yes, but you’re always scaring me. I’m only just a little used to it by now.”

“Really?” Peter’s voice pitches. “Because it didn’t seem like it. At least from what I remember.”

“You probably don’t remember much. You were all delirious with the drugs.”

“But seriously. I really want to thank you for agreeing to work with me. Showing me the ropes, and all that. I haven’t… completely figured out how to handle all the superhero stuff yet, if you can’t already tell.” Peter gestures to his leg. “And there’s no one really better to show me how than you.”

Tony smiles, satisfaction settling in his body, warmly. Peter is always so startlingly sincere with his gratitude and admiration, and Tony has only gotten used to taking  the compliments and thankfulness in stride rather than succumb to doubt.

“Thanks buddy,” he pats Peter on the shoulder. “Let’s see if you think that once I force you to call your Aunt.”

;;

Interlude.

“Hey,” Peter leans against the door. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and it makes him look small, and vulnerable and unsure.

“Come here,” Tony whispers, lifting his bed sheets. Peter stops playing with the hem of his shirt, and slowly walks over. He slips into the bed, and leans his back against the headboard, brushing his shoulders against Tony’s own.

He doesn’t say anything, and Tony doesn’t ask him to. Together, they sit in silence. Tony takes the time to contemplate life, and death, and chance. Peter, he assumes, thinks the opposite: war, and renewal, and luck.

Finally, Peter asks, “Did it hurt?”

“The snap?”

“Yeah.”

“No,” Tony lies.

Peter shifts side to side. He doesn’t believe him, and for a moment, Tony waits for Peter to lean away and call him a liar. Instead, he presses his head against Tony’s left shoulder, and, in doing so, reveals the large, blue bruise that blemishes his temple.

“Did it hurt?”

“What did?”

Tony reaches over with his right hand, a piercing red silhouette in the night, and gently grazes the swollen skin.

“Oh,” Peter blinks twice. Then, “No.”

They settle back into silence. Tony presses his cheek against Peter’s hair. They look across Tony’s room, past the leather armchair, past Morgan’s bunny from where it was abandoned on the floor, past the wall. They look ahead.

Tonight, they pretend that everything is fine. Tomorrow, Peter will help Tony dress the burn wounds on his right side, and Tony will press an ice pack against Peter’s temple. Tomorrow, they’ll heal.

;;

Act III

“Morgan, honey, what do we say when we do something bad?”

Morgan tilts her head and squints her eyes, thinking hard. “Shit?”

“Morgan!” Pepper presses her hand to her chest, aghast. She turns to Tony, lifting her finger accusingly. “ You.”

“I have no idea where she learned that, Pep. Scout’s honor.” Tony replies, trying to school his face into indifference. A futile attempt when Morgan twists to face him on her mother’s lap and gives him a small smirk that is the consequence of weekend sleepovers with Natasha, forcing Tony to hide his grin behind his hand.

“You were a boy scout?” Peter, who is holding a bag of peas against his head on the couch next to him, looks up with just a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“No. He wasn’t.” Pepper gives Tony a glare over Morgan’s head, her eyes narrowed to a squint that meant she was only seconds away from sending Tony to the couch tonight, and shifts Morgan gently onto his lap. “You caused it, you deal with it.”

Tony leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Morgan’s head as Pepper walks down the hall, and out of hearing distance. Morgan giggles, and turns around to return it on the cheek. “What did I tell you before? Those are only Mommy’s words.”

Morgan nods seriously, looking as if she was hearing God himself dictate the eleventh commandment. “Mommy’s words,“ she repeats.

“That’s my treasure.”

“Treasure? She nearly took my life!” Peter scoffs, but with an undertone of care and affection that Tony hears more and more often when Peter talks to and about her.  She’s going to grow up to be very spoiled, as clear when he thinks back to this morning– she had coaxed Tony into giving her yet another banana for breakfast, and after she finished, left the peel by the doorway for Peter to trip on when he finally got out of bed at noon.

“Petey,” Morgan says, reaching out to group three of Peter’s fingers in her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Aw M, of course–”

“I should have known you weren’t smart enough to avoid it.”

Peter’s face goes slack, and Tony can read the shock on his face from the way his eyebrows disappear into his hairline and how his mouth falls slightly ajar. He slowly turns towards Tony, and narrows his eyes in the same manner Pepper had done just moments before.

Tony shrugs his shoulders. There was only one person capable of teaching impressionable, five year old Morgan such wyrness, and opposed to popular belief it wasn’t him. It was Peter.

“Morgan, that wasn’t very nice,” Peter warns threateningly. “Now you have no choice but to suffer my wrath!”

Peter reaches over to tickle Morgan’s stomach. Morgan shrieks, and falls off Tony’s lap and onto the couch in a fit of laughter.

“Noooo,” she cries. “I’m sorry, Petey! I’m sorry!”

“No can do, M.” But, Peter relents anyways, and leans down to give Morgan a peck on the cheek, even as he simultaneously presses peas against the bump on the back of his head. Tony changes his mind. She is already  spoiled.

“Alright,” Tony says, playing peacemaker. “Now that this is settled. Let’s hit the lake!”

Morgan gasps, sitting upright on the couch. “The lake!” She cheers, already running to grab her flip flops.

“How is it that she’s the most adorable and cutest yet most evil person I know?” Peter sighs dramatically, placing the peas on the coffee table, now warm. He gets up off the couch and offers Tony a hand.

“You’re too little too late, Pete,” Tony says, groaning softly as he lets Peter pull him to his feet. “I asked myself the same question when she shat on my hand five years ago.”

“Petey! Dad!” Morgan runs by, now with her hair in a ponytail and with flips flops in hand. “C’mon let’s go! I want to take the boat out!”

“Coming, pumpkin.” Tony straightens his back, joints cracking loudly. “Ugh, that can’t be good. I’m getting too old for this.”

Peter laughs, patting Tony’s shoulder as he brushes past him. “Let’s go, Old Man. Before you hit the hay.”

Later that night, after Morgan fell fast asleep from a long day boating around the lake, and Pepper had dozed off after arguing with investors from Hong Kong, Tony does end up on the couch, but in his own volition. He’s nursing a cup of hot chocolate when Peter ventures into the living room.

“Hey,” he says, sitting down next to him. “What are you doing here? I thought old men slept like logs after their evil daughter connived them into speeding ten circles around on a boat.”

Tony snorts. “I could ask the same about older brothers.”

Peter looks content, and the sight of it unravels some knot that had been building at the pit of Tony’s stomach. It hasn’t been too long after the large and dramatic stand-off against Thanos, and a part of him had worried about life after. Life with both Peter and Morgan, but no Iron Man.

“How are you feeling?” Peter asks, eyes shifting across his face, as if he were searching for signs of distress. “Is it the nightmares again?”

Tony chuckles, and reaches over to brush back Peter’s hair. It’s gotten long, and if possible, even more curlier. May has been going on about having it cut, but for now, Tony counts it as a small blessing.

“Nope,” he says. “Another day scotch free. I think we should celebrate. Three months, a new record.”

“Oh,” Peter says, leaning back into the couch, his posture much more relaxed. “Then what are you doing out here?”

“Just enjoying the silence of the night. God knows we don’t get enough of it around here.”

Tony throws his arm around Peter’s shoulders, and Peter sags against him, cuddling into Tony’s side. Inside his bedroom, Pepper is dreaming of investment meetings, and new punchlines to throw at misogynistic corporate leaders. Down the hall, Morgan sleeps soundly.

Everything is as it should be, even if the only piece missing is Iron Man’s signature red and gold hues, tracing shapes into the sky like Earth’s brightest star. Tony has everything he needs right here.

;;

Act IV

“Tony,” Peter groans, pressing an ice pack onto his cheek, where a bruise was black, and blue and blooming around a long gash that reached from his upper cheek to chin. “Please stop pacing, and sit with me.”

“No,” Tony quips, but sits on the chair next to the medbay bed anyways. “I’m too busy trying to figure out why you felt the need to keep this from me.”

“Because you get all crazy? Like right now?”

“It’s me, ” Tony replies, leaning forward in his chair and ignoring Peter’s remark, looking all types of the tormented soul he is and will always be. “You used to tell me everything. And now you’re off on secret missions with Shield–”

”–yes, because that’s what secret means–“

”–or taking down whole New York crime syndicates by yourself, making friends with that human embodiment of a tabloid Johnny Storm, or worse– sneaking off to go to a party . It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.“

A look of understanding comes across Peter’s face. Like he’s just realized this is about more than Fisk’s underground Mafia work, more than even the illegal multiverse experiment that had been one spilled beaker away from tearing the universe into two. It makes Tony miss the years right after the Snap, miss when Peter’s first instinct would be to call him, before he had left for college, became war torn and world weary, and for whatever reason, decided that Tony simply wasn’t needed anymore.

“Tony,” Peter says, more gently this time, reaching his hand out. Tony takes it, holding it tightly in his own as if should he let his grip slack for even just a moment, Peter would break into a million pieces of dust, unmendable and gone, but never forgotten– just like he did on Titan, just like he does over and over again in nightmares that continue to plague him even years later.

“I’m always going to need my old man.” Peter jokes, but his face says otherwise: lips pressed together in a small smile, eyes bright with the beginnings of tears and something else. Love, Tony will amend, months later, thinking back to this memory as Peter hands him the invitation to his wedding.

“Then why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you. Called for back-up, tracked him for you, Iron Man–”

“–is out of commission.” Peter’s eyes drift to Tony’s right arm, red and metallic, a synthetic replacement for the original which had been tragically incapacitated by the Snap.

“How am I supposed to help you if I don’t even know?“

Peter drops the ice bag to reach over and lay his hand on top of Tony’s, cupping it tightly between both of his own. “I don’t need Iron Man. I need Tony Stark. Tony who might not be there for the battle, but will always be there for me in the aftermath.”

Peter doesn’t say anymore, and he doesn’t have to. Tony has since learned the art of reading into the unsaid.

;;

Act V

Peter grips Tony’s hand too hard, and it creates fingerlike bruises on his skin.

“I can’t do this, Tony,” he says, using his other hand to wipe at his face. “I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Tony gives Peter’s hand a reassuring squeeze. Peter doesn’t bother to squeeze back, too busy looking down the hallway, eyes shifting left and right in search of the nurse.

“Do you think it’s done? Why hasn’t anyone come out yet? Do you think something went wrong? What if–” Peter’s face goes slack, and he slumps down on the chair, finally letting go of Tony’s hand to run them through his hair. “I think I’m having a breakdown.”

“Oh hey. You’re not that bad. If it makes you feel better, I vomited on the nurse twice before Pepper popped Morgan out.”

Peter gives Tony a long look and proceeds to groan. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I don’t know. Do you feel better now?”

“Not particularly. But I am more distracted. The image of you vomiting is equally too familiar and hilarious.”

Tony smiles and lovingly pats Peter’s cheek, now less flushed from his previous outburst. “Then my job here’s complete.”

Peter returns the smile, and looks contemplatively at his hands. “Do you think MJ will be mad at me for not being with her?”

“Michelle? Probably not. She’s a strong, independent woman. And I’m pretty sure she’s the one who told you to leave after you started to freak out.”

“Ugh,” Peter grimaces, most likely reliving the memory. “I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet. To be a father.”

Tony reaches over to brush back Peter’s hair from his forehead. When Peter took over Stark Industries two years ago, he had gotten into the habit of gelling it back. It was one of Tony’s greatest losses. Today, he relishes in the fact that Peter left it undone, too in a hurry to get to the hospital in the middle of the night. His baby, who no longer looks it, is all grown.

“Do you know what’s the most important part of parenting?”

“No?” Peter slumps in his chair, saddened by his own ignorance.

“The answer’s more obvious than you think: love, and honesty and respect. Being emotionally open, loving your kid, and letting your kid know that, but also, somehow respecting their boundaries.”

Tony’s words do nothing to appease Peter. If anything, he’s more discouraged and sinks further into the uncomfortable waiting room chair.

“It’s a learning curve, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. Peter, you’re the most honest and affectionate person I know. Before I met you, I don’t even think I was capable of saying I like you, nevermind love. And look at me now, I spend all my time with you and Pepper and my baby Morgan who’s got me wrapped around her small yet powerful finger.”

Peter laughs, his eyes looking suspiciously watery. “Don’t worry. She’s got us all in her evil clutches.”

“My point is,” Tony continues, chuckling softly. “You’ve taught me all of these things about parenting, just by being yourself. I have so much faith in you, there are not enough words for me to even describe it.”

Peter looks as if he’s about to break into pitiful sobs, but the nurse steps out of Michelle’s room, smiling brightly as she calls Peter’s name, and saving him from what would’ve been inevitable seconds later.

“Oh god, I think I might vomit.”

“Oh no. Vomiting during labor only needs to happen once in history.” Tony jokes, feeling as if he might vomit himself. He pushes lightly on his shoulders. “In you go, Pete.”

The room is quiet when they walk in. Michelle is propped up against some pillows, simultaneously exuding tire and glowing with the newfound joy of motherhood. In her arms, swathed in light blue blankets, is the baby, sleeping comfortably.

“Oh my,” Peter chokes, approaching the side of the bed. “He’s just so tiny.”

“And yet he took so long to come out,” Michelle says, lids heavy as if she were on the brink of passing out. “Do you want to hold him, Peter?”

Peter hesitates for a few seconds, but reaches down shakily, and gently lifts the baby off Michelle’s arms. “Oh wow,” he says quietly, adjusting the baby’s blankets with one hand. “Hi there, baby. It’s me, your dad.”

Slowly, he turns towards Tony, tears making their way down the side of his face. “Look, Tony. It’s my baby. He’s beautiful.”

Tony looks down at the bundle, and indeed, burrowed between the creases of the fabric, is a baby boy with the beginnings of Peter’s hair, his nose, his ears, and if he looked closely enough, maybe his smile.

“Hey there, Beautiful,” Tony’s voice cracks. “You got a name yet?”

“Say hi to Grandpa, Ben. Benjamin Anthony Parker.”

;;

End.

The hospital room is dark, mostly lit by the dim yellow light that emanates from the small lamp next to the bed. Michelle is sleeping quietly, and beside her, still wrapped in baby blue blankets, is Ben. Across the bed, is a long, grey ottoman sofa. On one end, May is sleeping with her head tucked on Pepper’s shoulder. On Pepper’s other side is Morgan.

Tony watches everything from the other end of the couch, and tucked into his side, is Peter, exhausted but still clinging to the last dredges of consciousness.

“Are you still worried about fatherhood?”

Peter looks up at him with glassy and wistful eyes. “No. I have the best role model.”

At that, Tony smiles, content. He has all he needs, and then some, right here.

[littlemiss-rio]

fuck shit im going to answer all of these questions for my pleasure askdfjh

didnt reblog original post because i accidentally posted on my fucking main like a stupid bitch

1. when did you first meet your tc?

2018, she was me and my girlfriend’s director, gf was the lead and i was tech, and she yelled at me for being late to stuff and told me to never give up on myself blah blah inspirational bullshit

2. what’s your tc’s relationship status?

single, will probably never marry. ever.

3. what’s the age gap between you and your tc?

30, going on 29 in a couple days ayyy

4. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done/said to your tc?

uh ive said so MANY things but i guess i say a lot of bullshit then realise shes much older and smarter than me . i guess ive also told her a lot about my “trauma” (i did camming as a 14 year old ksdafjh it didn’t bode well for my psyche)

5. How old are they?

uhh 47 i think

6. Do your friends/family know?

all my friends know loll, my family knows shes a teacher im friends with i think, also she knows i “like” her

tbh because of my own experiences with my past relationship, id say im relatively? more mature? when it comes to crushes. i love her, and if she asked me to date her i would 100% say yes, but i have no expectations, i would never ask her to date me because that’s stupid, but i am extremely content with what we have now which is a quite intimate friendship

7. What’s their favorite color?

… i dont know. black??

8. Describe them using only emojis

all cat emojis. god will she stop using cat emojis.

9. What HP house would your tc be in?

she’d be a hufflepuff but everyone but her closest friends would think she belongs in slytherin

10. what subject do they teach?

language!

11. have you ever heard your tc cuss?

SO MUCH. god she swears a lot when shes not at work, i usually zone it out because im not familiar with chinese swears (yesterday i was there while her friends were also there, and she yelled at her friend for swearing while her student was in the room, but i yelled back that i was technically graduated and i did not care). shes starting to swear even more around me i love it

12. are they tall or short?

SHES SO SHORT but her aura makes her feel so fucking tall

13. what’s the most intimate thing you’ve ever done with your tc?

i mean, shes seen my tattoo thats on my ribs, i’ve sat on her lap, ive put my face in her neck like a thousand times, she joked about kissing me once?

14. are they serious or silly?

silly but at work, serious as fuck

15. what music do they prefer?

… hey actually i never asked

17. have you ever gotten in trouble with them? was it serious?

so much. i also made out with a girl and got caught by her once kdjfha

18. have you ever dreamed about your tc?

not much tbh

19. had your tc ever complimented you? how so?

a lot askfdj i MAKE her complement me. i make her tell me im pretty a lot

20. do they play any instruments?

she played the piano as a kid!

21. do they have neat or sloppy handwriting?

neat but with lots of character

22. have you ever heard them sing? was it good?

yes and it wasnt bad but im not sure i want to hear it again

23. do they dress well?

NO for the last three times i have seen her!! she has worn!! the exact!! same!! shirt!! she literally only owns ONE of this shirt i know i designed it for our team

24. have you ever cried in front of your tc?

yeah loads crying used to be the only way to shut her up while she was yelling at you

25. what’s their best feature?

tbh i love her eyes (i tell her they’re ugly a lot aksjfdh but no actually i love her eyes) i like her nose, her lips are too thin but they’re nice anyways, i like her voice (shes smoked for 30 years and you can hear it), i like her collarbones??? basically i like HER (i do NOT LIKE HER TEETH THOUGH)

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[anapythos]

ive only worked in customer service for a year of my young hellish life so heres a list of general cryptic things i’ve encountered: 

for some backstory; i work at a grocery store chain primarily located in northern cali. the first store i started at is unusually massive because it was renovated from a movie theaters in the 70s. 

-both a manager and a cashier are required to stay an hour after closing to do general busywork before the night crew show up. i’ve seen things fly off shelves, i’ve heard people say my name, i’ve heard footsteps and seen shadows. i always did my floorwork with one headphone in because i felt like i was being watched, at all times.  

-across the street is a very run down apartment complex, which happens to be the same apartment complex of Richard Chase, “The Vampire of Sacramento”, a famous northern California serial killer who beheaded, fucked, and ate people after he killed them. one of his victims was a woman named Evelyn Miroth, who, after killing her, raped her, ate her, and then also killed her neighbor, her six year old son Jason, and her infant baby, who he also beheaded. 

-a kid died in our parking lot of a drug overdose. our resident senior cashier found him after the car had been in the same place for a couple days, and she went to go check it out. the cashier relayed the story back to me over lunch and told me for the rest of her life, she would never forget the smell. 

-on valentines day i was working in the floral department and a man with his son came up to my station and asked if we had any single roses left for sale. i said that we didnt, as it was the end of the day and we were just winding down from all the craziness of the morning. he had a weird glint in his eye, and due to past experiences i’ve gotten pretty good at picking up vibes, so i tried to be as polite as possible. he thanked me and left, only to come back into the store about an hour later, without his son, wailing like i’ve never heard a man wail before. it was the loudest, most broken cry i’ve ever heard. he paced up and down the checkstands like an animal trapped, and the police had to be called because whenever someone got close to him he would get violent. i still to this day have no idea what it was about, but it took four police officers to wrestle him to the ground, and they pinned him to the floor in front of checkstand 5 while he writhed around trying to kick at anyone he could get at. when i came back from my lunch he was being whisked away on a gurney, the most distressed a man could be, and a woman was walking alongside him, crying out that it was going to be ok. i wonder all the time how he’s doing. 

-i had a stalker. i got promoted from a bagger to a cashier about a month after my eighteenth birthday. on my first week i complimented this old man’s hat and from that point on he became absolutely obsessed with me. he would tell me that i was pretty enough to die for, he would come through my line multiple times a day just to talk to me, if any man stood next to me he would become enraged and throw down his money and storm away. i dyed my hair bright red, and then back to brown, and he told me that he liked how it made me look “softer, younger, more innocent to the world”.

-a man with caution tape tied around his forehead, and bright, blue and red marker streaks running down his face came in to tell my manager that the penny was useless and should be abolished, because what did Abraham Lincoln do anyway? 

-a woman tried to bash another woman’s face into a shelf over some stolen money, and later that night i found the same woman spinning around our parking lot in a wheelchair, singing. i have no idea where she got the wheelchair from

-we had a regular who tried to buy 600 dollars worth of groceries with a fake credit card, and every time we have to pretend we don’t know what she’s doing. oh, did i mention she had a swastika tattoo, too? 

-on fourth of july a man decided that instead of just walking out the door with his cart full of unpaid for items, that he would park it in the door frame, go outside, and from a distance, use a fishing rod to gradually reel the cart off the property. like anyone would not notice this. he didn’t get very far.

-i asked a man how he was doing, and he said a very long word i didn’t understand, and when he saw my lost look, he very condescendingly asked if i knew what that word meant. i told him in my best passive “fuck you” voice that no, i didn’t, and he told me it meant “an attraction to sharp knives/objects”. And then as he left he complimented my coworkers smooth, dark skin-tone. (his words)

-a man tried to use a fake hundred dollar bill, and when the ink started running in my hands, he told me that the reason was because he worked at an oil rink 

-a woman told me that she didn’t trust no governments or no machines to count her money and made me watch her count her 200 dollar cashback that I had just counted out for her. 

-a woman threw her debit card at me like a ninja star because she couldn’t figure out how to skip the menu for our membership program and i was saved from getting hit in the eye by the resident drug dealer cashier who happened to be standing next to me. 

-a man came up to me and told me this milk carton he had been drinking from was expired and that i needed to do something about it. i asked if he wanted a refund, and he told me he hadn’t payed for it yet. i looked at the carton, and only about less than a quarter of the milk was left. i asked him that if it was expired, then why did he drink most of it. he told me to fuck off and then he left. 

-our security guard smashed his finger on a cart and walked around with his hand submerged in a cup of water for an hour. someone tried to stuff a bunch of liquor bottles in his backpack and he chased them out the door while also nursing his finger in a mini cup. 

-a woman cornered my coworker on a check stand she was cleaning and broke out her notepad and started scribbling things down. i was curious and went over to see what was happening, and she began to tell me that she had tried to make a deal with Big Pharma to make them millions of dollars, but now she was being followed and that I had to report them to the police because she was almost killed in our parking lot. she feverishly scribbled down a description of the car, talked about a lawyer who broke her heart and then followed her to Greenwich (?), the “Me Too” movement, while two inches from my coworkers face. eventually the woman left, and not 30 seconds later we peeked out the door to see where she went, and she was gone, like she had vanished into thin air. 

-a man who called himself “two buck chuck” wears a bedazzled camo-colored hat, pays exclusively in two dollar bills, he told me i was pretty enough to be a stripper and gave me his business card. he came in every week or so. 

just some things i thought of off the top of my head. 

[artificialqueens]

monster mash (pharon)- lem0n_b0y

a/n- hi, hello, how are ya?! here’s a sweet little thing ive been working on for while! it’s pharon reunited, where sharon doesn’t recognize phi phi at a party and follows her to the back yard to flirt with her only to see it’s her old enemy. (also thank y'all for all the sweet compliments on taxidermy butterfly ♡♡♡)

The bass of the speakers make the floor buzz with vibrations. The ‘Monster Mash’ was playing at way too loud of a volume. All around Sharon is just people yelling over the music to have conversations that none of the party goers will remember. The floor is covered in purple cups, orange and black confetti and beer bottle caps. It was a very atypical college Halloween party.

Sharon wasn’t invited to the party but there were too many people to even notice this scrawny black haired girl with dumb dollar store devil horns mounted on her head who had wiggled her way in for free beer. Part of her thought the alcohol wasn’t worth the hearing loss she’d experience but when you’re working paycheck to paycheck, a free booze are worth it.

Squeezing through the crowds to get to a near by couch, she accidentally bumps into a few blondes that were busy chatting with slurred speech. They were all dressed as so called sexy school girls. From what Sharon can make out, it’s about some boy they were all preying over. Typically drunk girl behaviour.

Sharon finally took a seat onto the empty couch. She sat there fiddling with her bottle, tapping her nails against the sweating glass as she looks through her phone. No new messages were to be seen, which she expected. It was Halloween afterall, most of her friends would be at their own parties across town or asleep at the home. Admittedly, Sharon was bored. It was one of her favorite holidays, she loved all the traditions and colors of the child centric holiday. Of course there was adult fun, as shown by the party. She had gone to this party alone in hopes to find a girl to flirt with while she was there or to drink so much beer she pukes into a pumpkin head. To which she struck no luck with girls in the large house, none had stuck out just yet.

Part of her said she should just go back to the apartment and watch Hocus Pocus for the millionth time. Lord knows she needed some sleep before working tomorrow. The other part of her said she shouldn’t go home and to keep partying til some straight girl decided to try out a girl for the night.

Leaning into the couch, Sharon looks at the TV that was playing a classic movie to watch on this seemingly anticlimactic hoilday; Halloween Town. It wasn’t the best movie but it sure is a 'feel good’ kind of film when your 4 beers into the night. She watches the screen for what seems like hours when it is mearly minutes, her ears ring from the loud music and voices surrounding her.

Her eyes drift across the room to see some more kids pile into the house. The costumes vary from vampires to sexy nuns. There was always something distasteful about costumes that are made sexy in Sharon’s taste. Perhaps it just wasn’t her cup of tea after all.

In the incoming crowd, there’s one girl that finally catches her eyes. Another blonde enters the room dressed in a sheer white top with borderline lingerie underneath. A ridiculously sparky halo hangs above her head paired with what makes out to be white wings strapped to her back. With Sharon’s interest peaked, she tries to lean over the couches arm to get a better look at the young girls face. She had disappeared from her sight.

“Well shit.” She mutters to herself as she stands to what she told herself, 'another beer’. In reality she was in a hunt for the piece of heaven she had gotten a glimps of. Pushing back through the crown was one task but to look through the giant house for a little angel was another. Making her way to the kitchen, Sharon scans the room for the blonde girl. She pushes towards the cooler of beers to grab another bottle and attempt to see the top of her halo. Her sparky little halo wasn’t staying in place by any means, she was on the move. With her beer in hand, Sharon tries to follow her calmly to where ever she was heading.

Bodies repeatly bumping into Sharon, she slowly becomes more and more annoyed. Each elbow jab to the side pushed her closer to pushing people out of her way completely. Squeezing between the last of the loud crowd she finds herself to the backdoor where the there was significantly less people. She scans the backyard as she pushes hair from her face, looking for the halo. Luckily the angel was sat near the pool with a cup in her hand. She talks to a girl in a cape. Sharon guessed from the behind view that she might be a vampire.

Sharon makes her way towards the pool to try and chat with the angel. The air was cool which was good for someone like her who was wearing all black, Halloweens always seemed to be hot but the night was looking to be in her favor. The caped girl turns around to see the approaching Sharon. The girl had wavey black hair much like her own and the brightest blue eyes anyone had ever seen, but Sharon had seen them before.

“Sharon?” The girl calls out, perking up with excitement.

“Wait- Katya!?” Sharon quickly runs towards the pool to be greeted with Katya standing up for a hug. Grabbing her quickly, Sharon spins the them around. Katya was a dear friend of hers who she never really sees. Since she lives across town, Sharon never has the time or money to visit her as often as usual. Their reunion is filled with laughs and smiles as they hug for a long moment. Sharon ends the hug to begin chatter with her old pal. She had completely forgotten about her initial game plan.

“So why are you in town?” She questions, smiling wide to the equally excited Katya. “Phi suggested this party so I decided to tag along.”

Sharon’s eyes widen as she looks down at the awkward woman that sat by the pool on her phone. Phi Phi was quietly on her phone to wait til the girls stopped their reunion. Nodding to Katya, Sharon pulls her towards the glass door silently. She had made a big mistake. “We’ll be back!” Katya yells to Phi Phi as she is forcefully moved.

Leaning against the house, Sharon quickly pulls out her box of cigarettes to hand one to Katya and placing one in her mouth. “Why did you drag me over here? Aren’t you two okay?”

“Yes! Yes yes yes- we are fine. Perfectly fine. But I just spent 10 mintutes to push through a crowd to figure out who she was because I thought she was hot. That’s an issue.” She lights her ciggerate and hands the lighter to Katya. Sharon nervously smokes, sipping her bottle between each puff of smoke. “So why not just ask her to fuck?”

That was not about to happen. “No! No no no! That’s a terrible idea. She would definitely tell me no. We just became okay with eachother so I doubt she’d say 'Ya know what Sharon, maybe we could fuck after we just patched up a year long dispute over your ex girfriend.’ That is NOT happening Katya! Not in a million years!” She huffs as she takes a long drag from her already almost burnt out cigarette. She had zero chances of fucking Phi Phi tonight. It was not even close to a possible goal. “You could at least ask! If she says no just say 'I’m sorry.’ Then it’ll be okay, right?”

“That’s so awkward! If she says no, I’ll just say sorry? That’s so fucking akward!”

“Then just don’t ask, okay?! I need to go sit with my friend so you can join if you’d like.” Katya turns to walk back to her friend who sat alone, but is quickly snatched back by Sharon. “But don’t tell her I said any of this. Got it?”

“I’m pretty sure she can hear us from here.” Katya detaches Sharon’s hand from her wrist and walks to the poolside. Sharon leans herself against the side of the house, lighting a new cigarette for herself.

She thought to herself that may have been the most awkward conversation she’s had in awhile. How was she supposed to respond? Her old friend suggesting she simply ask her ex-enemy to have sex for the night was a crazy stupid concept. She knew better than to ruin that new found comfortablilty with Phi Phi. All she thought was she look cute tonight. That could be an understatement, she looked more than just cute. Sharon admits to herself that she looks hot.

Her eyes lazily staring in her direction, she looks at her angel wings. They were poorly made, as if they just came in a pack with the halo. She twirls her finger around a lock of hair, finishing up her cigarette as she turns to go back into the house. Maybe she should just go back home period, snag a few beers on her way out and get a taxi. Before being able to plan out her way home, Sharon is stopped from re entering the noisey home by a hand on her shoulder.

Turning quickly to see who’s touching her, she’s faced with angel she had followed around. Phi Phi has a smile painted across her face as if Katya didn’t just tell her everything about the conversation she just had with Sharon. Nonetheless, she stands in front of Sharon who could feel herself heat up with nervousness. “Oh- Hey.” Is all Sharon can blurt out. She was at a loss for words.

“Don’t act so stiff like you don’t know me. How have you been?” Phi Phi bounces in her place with a smile still on her face. Her happiness was so vibrent, Sharon could feel herself start to smile like an idiot. She fiddles with her jacket before speaking with a timid voice “I’m good! I’m good. uh- how much did Katya tell you?”

Phi Phi raises a brow before responding to Sharons nervous question. She turns around to look at Katya, who had quickly taken a liking to a young woman dressed as a Barbie. “What do you mean?” As Phi Phi turns back around, she cocks her head to the side ever so slightly like a confused puppy. Katya had kept her mouth shut for once, and Sharon was suprised. With Phi Phi now standing there confused, all she could do was try and change the subject from her slight fuck up. “Uh, nevermind that. So where are you staying nowadays?”

“I actually just moved back in town, Guess I just missed the area too much.” Phi Phi smiles wide, shaking the confusion into the back of her mind. She fiddles with her sheer top, awaiting Sharon’s delayed response. Sharon had been too busy staring at her costume. “Oh thats great! I’m still living where I used to.”

“The apartments? I thought you hated it there!”

Sharon smiles sheepishly, running her hand on the back of her neck. “I hate the people in the building, but it’s nice. Just me, myself, and the ghost that likes to knock down my picture frames in my own little space.” If only the ghost was a joke. Sharon had questioned the random falling of picture frames to be a spirit for quite some time now, but often just ignores it. Phi Phis eyes lit up at the ghost joke, she smiles and chuckles over it.

“Well how’s dating been since you and Alaska broke up? Are you two still friends?” Phi Phi was hesistant to pop the question regarding her ex. It was a well known fact that she hadn’t always liked Alaska during their relationship.

“I havent jumped into another relationship but of course we’re friends. It was for the best ya know? We still hang out all the time.” Sharon reaches into her pocket for another ciggerate and holds it between her lips. “What about you? Seeing anyone?”

Phi Phi smiles sheepishly at the question. She wasn’t much of a relationship kind of person. Being on her own was kind of her thing. She would have flings here and there with men and women alike but nothing steady, nothing worth mentioning. “Nah, dating isn’t my speed. Prefer to come and go as I please.” Phi Phi takes a sip of her beer and leans against the brick wall, watching Katya scramble to flirt with the gorgeous, tall, blonde she had met. “I guess I really like being alone. I have friends to make sure I’m all good, I don’t need one person to emotionally depend on for help AND have to romantically be involved with them.”

“Keep your emotions and your romance separate I see. Same old same old.” Sharon chuckles and leans on the wall next to her. She blows smoke out and flicks ashes from her cigarette onto the patio. They both sat in silence as they looked around at all the people who had found their way into the backyard. People pushed into the pool, guys flirting with girls and getting rejected, blunts being shared to top it all off. It was like the perfect party scene you’d see in movies. Sharon turns to Phi Phi who is still focused on the surroundings, almost looking on awe. She takes another puff of her cigarette.

“Looks like Katyas getting laid tonight.” Phi Phi says, watching as the vampire and the Barbie sneak to the back of the house. She sighs a little and sips her beer. “I should probably should go interven so I’m not left here alone.” Phi Phi steps away from the wall and adjusts her outfit, along with her angel wings. She looks reluctant and seemingly saddened. Before she could say her goodbyes to Sharon, she’s yanked back towards the wall by her waist. Sharon pulls her close, holding her in place. “Please don’t leave just yet, or at least let me give you something before you go and cock block Katya.” She smoothes down the shear fabric that she had pulled Phi Phi closer by.

Phi Phi looks confused but stands there willingly. The tight grip on her waist to with the gentle, smoothing touch makes her turn to putty. She watches as Sharon’s mind scrambles to find a reason for her to stay longer. Her eyes bolt around for something to distract Phi Phi long enough to forget about Katya. Watching as her nervous facial expression grows and Sharon’s eyes scans the surrounds behind her, Phi Phi moves closer, pressing her into the wall.

She stands on her tippy toes and cups Sharon’s face. Gently pressing her lips against hers, Phi Phi keeps Sharon’s face in place to assure she doesn’t pull away. But she wouldn’t, Sharon didn’t plan on moving away. She stayed still, soaking in every second of the strange kiss. Her cigarette falls from between her fingers, every inch of Sharons body turns to mush. Phi Phi slowly smiles into the kiss before gentle pulling herself away before getting too wrapped up. She looks Sharon back in her eyes that now appear glazed over. Speechless, Phi Phi just wraps her arms around her torso in a long hug. Sharon smiles softly before wrapping her arms around the smaller girl.

“I’m really tipsy, I’m sorry I don’t know how to react.” Sharon says quietly. Phi Phi nods and rests her head onto her chest. “You looked anxious about me leaving so I distracted you. Did it work?”

“Of course it worked. I’ve wanted to kiss you all night. You look so cute as an angel.”

Phi Phi pulls away from the hug and looks up at Sharon with a big smile. “You wanted to kiss me all night?” She was genuinely shocked by it. Sharon was the last person she thought would want to kiss her, but Phi Phi knew she really wanted to kiss her. At least both of their wishes came true.

Sharon laughs and rubs the back of her neck nervously. She had completely forgotten that Katya didn’t infact tell Phi Phi about her chase after her through the party just to fuck her. Having Sharon, someone who used to hate Phi Phis guts, saying she had been dying to kiss her all night was a shocker. “Yeah… I actually didn’t recognize you when I saw you come in tonight and my first thought was I wanted to take you home with me. Is that too weird? Considering our history?”

Phi Phi laughs at the new found knowledge and smirks ever so slightly. Sharon sure did have a thing for blondes. “It’s only weird because everything about you is weird. But why don’t you just take me home, hm?” Phi Phi reaches her arm up and flicks the plastic horns that sat on Sharons head. She grins up at the now bashful Sharon. Her ghostly cheeks start bubbling up with blood at just the thought of this angel coming home with her. To her it didn’t feel like a real offer.

“Do you want to? Like actually?” Eyes widening, her nerves flood out in her speech, Sharon pulls a new cigarette from her pack in hopes to calm down.

“Only if you want to Shar-Bear. But considering I just held you against a wall to kiss you, proves that I would love to.” She bounces in her place, still smiling at the blushing Sharon. The offer starts to really sound good to Sharon as the nicotine floods her bloodstream. She takes a deep breathe before speaking. “I’d love to as well. This really is a full circle moment. From enemy’s, to friends, to fucking…”

“Oh shut up! I’m going to go tell Katya, okay? So she knows where I am.”

Phi Phi walks off to go search for her friend to make sure she was still alive and that she would need a ride in the morning. Sharon watched as she walks off to find Katya and she can do is smile. She was happy, but she wasn’t sure why. The random kiss from what was forbidden lips had really made her feel her heart thump a little harder. The harder heartbeats hadn’t been felt since she was with Alaska. Smiling as she takes in a long drag from her cigarette, she leans her head back onto the wall. A cloud of smoke is flooded in front of her as she exhales.

As the blonde angel comes running back, Sharon has finished her cigarette. Toss the butt down to the ground she holds her hands in her pocket. “Katya says she get me tomorrow morning if that’s alright?” Phi Phi abruptly stops in front of Sharon, attempting to catch her breath. Her halo had fallen crooked and some strains of hair in her face. Sharon smiles and moves the stray hair a behind her ear. “That’s fine with me. So, let’s blow this popsicle stand?”

[gammafish]

Fanfiction writer asks Thank you @saantha and @writerforthetylwythteg ! ^^ <3

Okay, Caroline first cause you sent this to me like a week ago :’D 1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? My answer is really similar to yours, I think? I started years and years ago, maybe when I was 15 or 16? But I didn’t even know what fanfiction was lol. But before that I was writing a long looong story, kiiinda origina but also kiiiinda with a character based on an existing character from a show ^^’ I first published an actual ‘proper’ fanfic on AO3 when I was 19.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why? Surprise surprise, but my I love writing ‘dark’, tortured, angsty, and tormented characters, wow, who would have thought xD I wrote for a few fandoms and I guess I have a favourite in each? In SNK it’s Levi, in X-Men it was Charles, in BBC Sherlock it’s Moriarty, and in Black Butler it’s... well, both Ciel and Sebastian. But I’d say that out of all of those, at least recently, I’ve been enjoying writing Sebastian; I wrote over 25k words of a series recently entirely from his POV, as you know, and it was fantastic to write, that fic is my little baby, my little pride and joy :’D I remember you saying that the fic read like something I was born to write, and that that demon was my perfect muse and my dude, it sounds so right XD

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why? Hmmmmmmmmmmm no one comes to mind, really? Logically progressing from the previous question, I’m not the biggest fan of writing overly-happy, bubbly characters XD But I don’t think I have one I actually dislike. If I really hate a character, I probably won’t include them in my fic, or as little as possible.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?  (Guide Dog) Whump. I just wanted to write lots of whump xD And fear, and abuse, and recovery from these; describing the slow mental process of a character progressing from being scared of their own shadow to - through someone else’s kindness and patience - learn how to function again. I’ve wanted to try this for years and years, it’s been brewing in my head for so long, and I had so many plans and drafts, but somehow it just never took off until I came across SNK, and Eren’s story. And then of course it got a bit political, but honestly I’m kind of glad it took that kind of turn, I think it made it a more meaningful story than just an attempt at a feels-fest XD

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire? Well, you know I obviously like your works because of how wonderfully fucked up they are, right up my street so :D In the SNK fandom, I love acidtowns who wrote Junkyard Dogs, and also julieofthwatertribe, and I’ve STILL got to read pinkheichou’s massive Ereri fic but people love it so I’m sure she’s good too x3 There are tons and tons of fics in that fandom that I love but these are the first few that come to mind. In BBC Sherlock fandom, Mad_Lori wrote this absolutely infamous ‘Alone on Water’ fic which is basically just a rollercoaster of angst and tears, it was amazing. SD_Ryan wrote amazing fics too, with Moran/Moriarty. I had a friend on deviantArt years ago, who wrote really good Rammstein fics too, she even wrote one for me!  And of course, in the SPN fandom, the top of the top of Destiel fics; Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme. It’s the highest-rated (in terms of kudos) Destiel fanfic on AO3, and I can absolutely understand why. The angst in this is just indescribable, I wasted like an entire tissue roll on my tears. And then there were two fics; ‘To high places by narrow roads’ by Fossarian, and ‘Carry On’, by TamrynEradani. I don’t remember the first one too well, but it had lots of angst and issues of slavery like in Guide Dog, so I loved it lots, but the second one, ohhh the second one. The writer described a dom/sub relationship in the most perfect, wholesome, realistic way I ever saw written anywhere. I need to reread it soon now actually, because it’s a feast for the soul, I’m not even kidding XD And then finally, Black Butler fandom; chromehoplite, gxlden both write awesome stuff (and they collaborate a lot too and the results are aMAZING and they grace this fandom with sooo much content :’3) Severus_Divides_into_H is also writing a fantastic multi-chaptered fic which is so beautifully sad, dark and gothic and full of feels, honestly you can clearly see I have a type, when it comes to fics :’D

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? I couldn’t choose a single one, I’m flattered whenever I get any kind of compliment :’) But I live and breathe for the moments when people tell me that my fic made them cry. And honestly you gave me some of the best compliments lol, I wanted to launch myself into space when you said that Ciel’s death from my fic affected you and that you randomly found yourself thinking of that scene the next day, because you’re not even in the fandom T__T <3 And I wanted to do the same thing when a few people told me before they would buy a physical copy of Guide Dog, like, people would pay money for what I wrote?? How possible, nat.exe has crashed, reboot now. And hahah, recently when I comment on some Black Butler fics, once or twice I got a response that the author was glad to get a comment from me because they read my fic and they liked it, and that just blows my mind because???? Someone recognised me??? how possible?? Reboot again

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about? Uuuuuum I think it was actually a Rammstein fic, based on the ‘Ich Will’ music video. Angst and death all around ;-; But again, at that stage I didn’t really know what fanfiction was lol. 

Bahaha I hope you enjoyed your novel, my GOD that took me so long XD

And hóhóhó Jázu thank you for asking too ( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉) <3

8) Where do you take your inspiration from? Uuuuugh that’s a tough one. Maybe overall just some messed up movies or books or other fics, and when I’m actually writing, it’s usually some dark or sad gothic music, or whatever else fits lol ^^ But I don’t write THAT much, so I don’t need a constant IV with inspiration, I suppose ^^’

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? Yeeeeesss ^^’‘‘ Guilty as charged lol. I have at least one abandoned WIP in the BBC Sherlock fandom, X-men fandom, and supernatural fandom (in the last one, I remember it was some heavy angst - what a surprise - destiel wip that I actually tried to find a few days ago, but couldn’t which made me very sad lol cause I wanted to read over it :( ). I guess I abandoned them because there was no solid plot, and I only started writing them because I wanted to write some quick whump, or some feels, but didn’t have the determination to write a whole story around it XD

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story? ABSOLUTELY, with the amount of angst I try to squeeze in everywhere, I take it as a personal offense and lack of skills if I can’t make at least * myself * cry x’D Although, I’m writing this long multichaptered fic for Attack on Titan that I think I mentioned to you, and its close to 200k words, and there’s lots of angst, but it hasn’t made me cry as much as writing this other for, Black Butler, which is only 24k words. I cried for at least half of it lol, maybe because it’s much closer to canon, and the canon itself is so tragic and has me upset whenever I think about it ;__;

HOH ALRIGHT that’s me done, I think this actually took me around an hour to do XD But thank you guys, that was fun :3c <3

[theaterboyinwonderland]

U make me answer 25 q I make u answer 1-50 :^)

Hey! Fuck you you hoe :D Tumblr mobile wouldnt let me.copy paste so i wrote this shit in a google doc admire how.much energy i put into this. You fuck 1) counter couch or top of the dryer? Easy couch its comfy and easy to sit on. Plus diff postions are easier2) Your last sexual encounter? Good or bad and why? Depends,  do u count phone sex? If so ugh…? A week ago? irl probs like...4 or 5 months ago. For real sex like 2 or 3 years. Phone sex was good! My mans hot. Irl dude was also goo! Hes a pretty close friend ive hooked up with b4 and probs will later but eh. And for real sex god he sucked. Last longer bro3)Fictional person you think would be good in bed? Lust from FMA.4)Something that never fails to make you horny?  A guy biting my neck and saying “like that baby/love/ect” my neck is SUPER sensitive and a homie love a good pet name5)Where is one place youd never have sex? A hospice 6)The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when? I was with the dude from 2 and we were both WASTED. He like wanted me.to blow him so naturally i did but he thrusted into me without telling me. Now heres the thing i got a gag reflex but i can control it kinda well. Drunk me however cant and if a long phallic thing goes down outta nowhere i also cant. Anyway so i puked on him. Needless to say we didnt finish that night. 7) Weirdest thing to ever turn you on? When i was a kid id get horny  hearing the sex sounds from fable. Which after replaying them are SOOO bad8)What is the best way to sexually bind someone?Im a sub bottom dude dont fuvking ask me. Probs get them to love you?9)Fastest way to make you horny? Pin me to a bed force eye contact and then kiss/bite me neck/throat. Dirty talk also helps.10Top or bottom? Bottom 11)We were about to have sex but then…. I probs said im tired 12)Is one orgasm enough ? Are multiple necessary? SEE…depends..i fucking HATE over stim. I legit banned jd from doing it to me. THAT BEING SAID. If irs an ALL NIGHT thing and i only.cum.once (probs at the end edging fuck) im gonna be a mess. 13)Something you've hidden in your room that you dont want anyone to find? The body14)Weirdest  nickname a SO has ever called you? Ugh...idk ive never gotten more than babe till i started dating jd and his are nice like baby/my prince/my everything. I use cringy ones like darling  sweetie honey. Ughh t help one guy see if he liked she/her pronouns i called him princess. He later decided he like he/him so i just called him my prince15)Two things u like about oral? Taste, hearing a guy get more horny and start that low whimper/moan when they're close.16) weirdest sexual act someone has ever preformed  or tried to perform on you? All of my so and shit are basic af. Bondage and a collar are the furthest anyone has asked me. Though  a random asked if i was cool with water sports.17)Have u ever tasted yourself? Ive tasted my cum and it was….okay? Ive never sucked myself a bitcg aint flexable.18)Is it ever okay to not use a condom? Ive…never…..used….one...haha….19)Who was the sexiest teacher u ever had? I never had one but FUCK there one this one just outta college  history teacher (who apt had a big dick) and like DAMN he was fine.20)A food you would like to use during a sexual experience? I dont really wanna do food stuff? Its to messy and like...a waste of food? 21)How big is to big? 10+22)One sexual thing you would never do? IF YOUR FEET EVEN COME CLOSE TO FUCKING TOUCHING ME.23)biggest turn on? Wasn't this a q already? On a guy in gen i love singers. Abs and blonde hair dont hurt. Also being taller than me.24)Three spots that drive u insane? Neck hips collar bone25)Worst possible time to get horny? At work sense i work with old people (hey cas coulda stopped here you furry pope fucker)26)Do u like it when yoursexual partner moans? HELL FUCKING YEAH I DO! Im super audio based and i lovethat. I also have a praise kink so like moans are basically praise27)Worst sexual idea you ever had? What if i was straight?28)How much fapping is to much fapping? Ugh...HMMM...if you do it more than 3 times EVERY day maybe stop 29)Best sexual compliment youve ever had? So at the party me and the friend were at there wa:. Him. My ex. And another fuck buddy of.mine. a q came up about who gives rhe best head and whos the best kisser AND ALL OF THEM SAID ME. I was like “i am a damn good kisser “ and my ex said “fuck ya he is”30)Bald, landing strip, jumanji? Do whatever idc. Hairs hair.31)Is it good sex if you dontnut? No. Im impatient and needy.32) If they *love me* we fucking33)Fav part of your body? My eyes! I think they're nice. Other than that i hate myself lmao34)Fav forplay activities.  Idk never done much. Pinned make out sound like a blast with grinding35)Love or sex? Love. Id rather have someone who really cares about me over a good fuck.36)What do u wear to bed? Underwear.  Im not a pj or commando kinda guy37)First time u masturbated? Ugh….i must been like 11? It was b4 like i ever knew what it was and b4 i could cum. 38)Do u have any nude/masturbating pics/ videos of yourself? My boyfriend lives in another country, what do u think?39)Have you ever/when was the last time u had sex outside. Ive never had SEX but ive blown a couple.dudes in either a park or a park bathroom.  One time.in a casino parking lot40)Have/wouldu have sex in public. See 39? Full blown sex PROBS NAH but bjs probs 41)Have/would u have a 3some?Ive had one! The ex and the fuck buddy while me and the ex were together.  We never fucked but we all blew each other. Slash im down for a polyam resltionship if my partner is so id always be down. Slash slash me and jd are horny as fuck and have talked about having threesomes b4 so ye42)What is 1 random object you've used to masturbate? Ugh…? I humped my bed b4? Idfk?43)Have/would u ever masturbate at work/school. Ive blown several guys at school. So yeah id jo there.  Work ive debated but thats cause SOMEONE os a fucking tease. 44)Have/would u ever have sex on a plane. No45)What is one song youd like.to have sex to? Dead girl walking.46)What is something nonsexual that makes you horny ? Hey fuck u i said this one47)Most attractive celeb? Thomas sanders or tom holland. now THATD be a threesome. Please no one show thomas this.48)Do u watch gay/lesbian poor? Why/why not? HMM I FUCKING WONDER49) If a child was born on the occasion of the last time u had sex, how old would that child be? 2 or 3 years old. God i need to get fucked. Soon50)Has anyone ever posted nude pics of.you online? No and if they do I'll murder the prick.Thanks for the qs cas i stg the next time u post an over 50 ask im.making u do them all :’) love you bb 💛 that was more fun than i thought itd be

[exponentialelmer]

all the odd numbers

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

spotify!

what color are your eyes?

uhhhh i dont remember.... blue i think?

what is your relationship status?

nonexistant

what color hair do you have?

whatever color youd call this mop

where do you shop?

online tbh

favorite social media account

tumblr

any siblings?

so many through my past homes, but 9 back home

favorite snapchat filter?

the one with hearts coming out of the head

how many times a week do you shower?

every day i think?

shoe size?

9

sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. my toes are... horrifying

describe your dream date

this ask! i no joke thought about that anon every day for a month after that and i sTILL dont know who they are

what color socks are you wearing?

one black and one white

do you have a job? what do you do?

i work at an office supply company (like in the office) as a salesman... im basically a lame jim halpert

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

akjdhf nope

favorite actor?

uhhhhhh leo dicaprio? hes not a leo or a capricorn so wtf

who is your celebrity crush?

NO COMMENT....

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

not a lot? i barely have time 

do you have a nickname? what is it?

elm

top 10 favorite songs

oh fuck

kiss, prince/cant fight this feeling, reo speedwageon/my petersburg, derek klena/billie jean, michael jackson/time after time, cindi lauper/never gonna give you up, rick astly/footloose, kenny loggins/all out of love, air supply/idk what else

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

i... dont know??

how many kids do you want?

id be a horrible father

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

a studio apartment!

what was the last compliment you received?

“Well, I think you look good. Classy, refined, a bad bitch. Like you're ready to file taxes and kick ass, and you're done filing taxes.” - @skyscrapersongbird, with the BEST compliment ive ever gotten.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

uhhhh 12 i think?

opinion on smoking?

ech

what is your dream job?

accounting!

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

any time i stay in one

do you smile for pictures?

i have like... a sudo-smile

have you ever peed in the woods?

no?????

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

neither, ew

what do you wear to bed?

a t-shirt and boxers usually

what are your hobbies?

math and dance

do you play an instrument?

do my feet count?

tea or coffee?

coffee!

do you want to get married?

someday

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

probably not? while im not the biggest fan of my own last name, it’d be kind of a “fuck you” to my birth parents

do you miss anyone right now?

maybe

do you believe in ghosts?

ghosts are real, one sucked my dick behind a dennys

last person you called`

no one?? who calls anymore

regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular, golden ones are gross

what shirt are you wearing?

a regular white t-shirt

are you outgoing or shy?

both?? idk

do you like your neighbors?

love them! one girl comes over after she gets out of school (shes like 12) and hangs out with apex till i get home so he isnt lonely for too long 

have you ever been high?

once or twice

last thing you ate?

i... dont remember fuck

summer or winter?

usually winter but im over this eternal winter, i hate wearing my peacoat in APRIL

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark

what is your zodiac sign

uhhhhhh gemini i think?

[1997onepiece]

Im that anon that requested for headcanon :D sorry i took so long. Can i get a headcanon of each of the strawhats drinking habits? Like how do each if then act if they get drunk? How much can each if them drink before getting drunk? What is the most embarrassing thing they did while drunk? Do they prefer wine or beer or any other alcoholic beverage? I Was always curious on this one because theres a couple of drinking scenes in op

thanks for this request! it was an interesting one. this ended up being really, really long so im putting it under a read more(probably due to all the pics of evidence i put in from a bunch of different arcs. ive been working on this since 7:30am and its 5:15pm now lol. dont worry though, i took a meal break!)

anyways, i tried to stick to canon/what could be plausibly canon as much as possible for each character (including the embarrassing bits). the headcanons go through jinbei!

i hope you all enjoy the read & if any of you feel differently/have some bit of contradictory evidence, feel free to send it in! im open to suggestions, i tried my best here but i know i probably missed some stuff

also before i start please note that all of them drink beer. all of them. theyre pirates, they kind of have to. pirates sing and pirates drink beer, thats just how it is in luffys mind, so thats the default drink for everyone at parties (i imagine thats how oda feels too)

though beer is the default drink, theyll drink anything. theyre not really that picky. like:

with that out of the way, ill talk personal preferences and experiences of each crew member now

also i will only be using manga evidence from here on out since thats what im familiar with/thats whats canon

luffy:

luffy is usually seen drinking in conjunction with eating a shit ton of food. he doesnt really drink for the sake of drinking alone, he likes food more than he does alcohol lol. he even says this in dressrosa:

so yeah, luffy drinks for the occasion (parties mostly). the only time i see him potentially drinking alcohol by itself outside of a party is maybe if he wanted to sing some tunes with the crew or something (again, based off that whole image of what it is to be a pirate)

like, look at his face here lol. idk whether thats coke or rum but he is not liking it

drunk personality - tuckered out and easily annoyed, after hes done partying. probably goes straight to sleep. itd take a lot to get him drunk though like, do you see how much he has to eat to get full? lol

drink preferences - beer mostly

heres luffy with some alcohol:

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk: hes made to wear something that insults his masculinity. basically like what happened to him at amazon lily

luffy doesnt really get embarrassed all that much in other contexts in the series, unless his friends are praising him, so this is what i went with

zoro:

he breathes alcohol and everyone knows it. just check out this panel of luffy trying to wake him up at thriller bark by enticing him with a fucking barrel of the stuff:

and also mihawk withholding alcohol from him while he masters haki:

as for his preferences, you see zoro drinking a lot of beer throughout the series but he goes for hard alcohol a lot of the time too. id like to see him on soju or vodka lmfao.

anyways heres some zoro drinking beer:

oktoberfest zoro! he looks so happy haha

heres him drinking some hard stuff:

note how hes supposedly drinking tea in this last one but hes got an alcohol bottle next to him. either hes pretending to drink tea or he spiked the shit lol

zoroll drink anything though hes greedy for alcohol lmao like:

as for his drunk personality, i dont think hed ever allow himself to be truly drunk. as you can see here, his morals get in the way:

thats not to say he cant get buzzed the fuck up though like:

drinking, however, does result in lowered inhibitions so i guess the most wed ever get out of him is some dumb decisions

going off of that, an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk:he says/does something earnestly and someone makes fun of him for it. like what happened at thriller bark with pirate docking 6:

either that or he wakes up having done something he finds beneath him:

to sum it all up, watch this silly ass amv i found about zoros drinking habits lol

nami:

drinking habits/drunk personality: this woman can outdrink a horse like holy shit.

as you can see, shes a boisterous drunk. loud and happy, as well as a little competitive:

sidenote: ZORO AND NAMI ARE THE BEST DRINKING BUDDIES!! just imagine them goading each other on haha how cute

drink preferences - anything. she loves alcohol. shes the alcohol queen

although she can get down and dirty, she loves looking classy. we actually see her drinking fruity stuff/wine more often than beer (but again, shes the alcohol queen so shell do anything):

shes drinking apple juice here in this last one but the point about looking classy still stands

an embarrassing thing that could happen to her while drunk:hmm, i dont really see her doing anything she doesnt want to do tbh. the only time she gets embarrassed is when someone praises her really

i guess maybe going back to her cabin and trying to draw a map drunk, only to spill ink all over her maps? although thats not embarrassing so much as frustrating really

usopp:

drinking habits/drunk personality -  he seems like more of a social drinker than anything else. you dont really seem him drinking unless its a party

when he does drink, he has fun though

he doesnt really have a high tolerance for alcohol though lol just look at him here:

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk:he gets caught telling a big ass lie and has to pay for it dearly lmao

drink preferences - doesnt really seem all that adventurous outside of beer tbh

sanji:

i imagine he taste tests a lot of stuff as a chef but his favorite seems to be red wine:

thats not to say he cant appreciate a good ass beer when the occasion calls for it though:

going along with this panel, hes a flirty drunk. hes also flirty when hes not drunk though, so its not as if theres much difference

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk:his vision is so blurry that he ends up slutting it up with an old woman/a man

i dont imagine he gets drunk easily but hes definitely no zoro or nami

chopper:

drinking habits - he wouldnt go out of his way to drink on his own. hes more of a social drinker honestly. hed just take whatever his crewmates shove at him haha

going off of that, hed prefer beer usually (since thats what everyone else is drinking)

drunk personality - he has a little body, so hed get drunk rather quickly comparatively. hed still try to keep up with his friends though so hed probably pass out early. poor little guy would get tuckered out so quick. at some point he would probably learn to change his body size when he plans on drinking a lot lol

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk:someone praises him about how good hes gotten at holding his beer and he claps his hooves together without thinking, causing him to spill his beer all over himself and drop it

robin:

drink preferences - shes classy. on her own, she usually seeks out wine, maybe something fruity occasionally, but mostly wine

look at that fat fucking glass. shes having a fun time lol

its important to note that half the time at a party even shell drink wine. take these examples from the dressrosa and post-enies lobby parties:

drunk personality/an embarrassing thing that could happen to her while drunk: shes quiet but i can imagine everyone thinking shes sober and then she falls over lmao

drinking habits - i like to imagine her winding down with a glass of wineafter a long day. i can also see her drinking fine wines for the tasteof it. she doesnt really seem like the type to get drunk much

sidenote: honestly i like to think of robin, nami, and sanji as the classy drinks club lol. sanji likes giving the ladies the good stuff

like look at this. i could guess pretty confidently who those drinks are for lol

franky:

drinking habits - mostly with the crew. he probably drank more in the past when he was more ‘hard-boiled’ lol

drink preferences - he drinks cola more than anything else, so i would headcanon his tastes running more towards rum and coke

not to say that he doesnt drink other stuff though:

drunk personality - prone to slapstick humor, as per usual. kind of like this:

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk: his speedo getting stolen again lol

brook:

drink preferences/personality - he has no taste buds, so he has no preference! yohohoho!

nah but just kidding, jokes aside, it was confirmed he can taste and digest stuff like anyone else. i can see him indulging in some fancy wines while on tour as soul king, he doesnt really drink besides with the crew though

however, i can imagine him during his years alone getting sad and drinking in memory of his old crew, reenacting how they would sing and get drunk together LOL god thats depressing. consider the fact that he would play alone in the middle of the ocean with these panels to back that up:

lol sorry to dump sad shit on you. now he drinks with a happier purpose though

anyways, i guess these days around girls i could imagine him being a horny drunk, a la “let me see your panties”

BUT, of course, hes also a musical drunk! happy to sing and play for his friends

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk: he removes his soul from his body to go look at some panties but he has no idea where hes going because the alcohol fucked with his sense of direction so his souls just lurching all over the place and then he gets lost & it takes him a few days to find his body again

jinbei:

drinking habits/drunk personality - hed go for a buzz. hes not the type looking to get fall-on-your-ass drunk so much lol, hed know when to stop. i imagine him to be a happy drinker - all smiles and warm compliments

drink preferences - sake. we havent seen him drinking much but when he does drink, hes drinking what seems to be rice wine, based on what its contained in. though of course hes gonna be drinking more beer once he hangs out with the mugiwara crew in full haha

heres happy jinbei with some sake:

note that the character there, 酒, is sake (fun translation note: in japanese, 酒 refers to all varieties of alcohol, but in english it refers to japanese rice wine)

an embarrassing thing that could happen to him while drunk:he tells everyone in sight awesome luffy is and how hes gonna give his life to him and talks about literally nothing else. the next day everyone teases him about it haha

and thats it! i had fun writing this haha hope i was able to elaborate on their drinking habits to an extent that was satisfactory

i tried my best not to come up with ooc stuff but you all will be the judge of that i suppose

i hope the wait wasnt too long for you specifically, anon, & i hope youll forgive me for taking a few days to respond!

thanks for reading, for those that stuck this one out :D

[icybeanheadcanons]

General Headcanons for the Skellies

Thought I would start off with some general headcanons for these boys.

It's long so I'm gonna put it under the cut I think.

Undertale

Tale

-a sweetheart. He's so sweet he’ll probably rot your teeth.

-Smart ™. No seriously. He's perceptive as hell and notices small details. On first glance his puzzles may seem easy but actually have some degree of challenge to them.

-workaholic honestly??? He doesn't exactly mean to be he just has a habit of throwing himself full force into everything he does.

-his voice is on the louder side so it seems like he's screaming but he isn't. You can hear him 30 feet away??? But he's talking in his normal speaking voice he can't be that loud can he?

-slightly self conscious on his volume control. He's startled a few people once having reached the surface with how loud he was which really bothers him. He's not intimidating he swears. He makes a conscious effort to make himself seem not quite as intimidating.

-tol bean, about 6 feet tall. Excited to meet people taller than him. He finds it amazing even if its an inch difference. You're shorter??? YOU’RE PRECIOUS CLEARLY.

-a walking ray of sunshine and generally is so very positive about people even when being relatively negative toward him. Compliments are an absolute.

-he recognizes not everyone can be inherently good and overall be a real bully. He knows they're not the greatest but he is sure they aren't entirely bad, no one is!

-holy shit, i know this bean likes to give compliments but if you're a horrible person trash talking him or his brother??? Prepare for to hear backhanded compliments, and being one upped in every sense of the word. He's not one to take insults lying down. He still turns them into compliments, and it really shakes people into being nicer. Good. Because those comments always hurt him.

-well deserved ego, but still has some insecurities and doubt about his capabilities. Did he do enough??? Maybe he should do more???? Please don't let him do more he will absolutely overwork himself.

-sly as a fox my guy. You think he's innocent? B o y. You're in trouble. Lucky for you, he won't take advantage of this. For the most part. When he does you always find out at the end and it's something small usually. He kind of uses it as a reminder that he's not innocent. Stop that. He knows he's an amazing cinnamon roll but there's way more sin than you realize.

-would adopt every stray he sees. He could probably open up a petting zoo he's got so many animals visiting his house. There's at least 30 stray cats that visit him at one time.

-volunteers at an animal shelter. Because look at all those adorable furry babies. Can he please take them all home? No?? Fine then he’ll make sure they go to a proper loving home.

-prefers cats but dogs are just as good. Just as long as they don't take off with any bone attacks. He loves them even if they do.

-generally doesn't curse but isn't afraid to. They're just words and generally, if they don't insult someone they're perfectly fine words to use. He doesn't use them generally for other people’s sake.

-loves his brother with every fiber of his being. “My brother is amazing LOOK AT HIM.” He's the first person he has to tell news to just by default.

-watches anime because of alphys now and watches a lot of cooking shows. Documentaries from time to time if it really sparks his interests. Super hero shows he lives for.

-much better cook now that he has actual things to go off of for learning. Undyne did her best but dear lord. That wasn't really cooking it was more like Scary Cooking ™.

-puns are okay just don't drown him in them like his brother. Please and thank you. Will act made but he's laughing and smiling.

 Classy Bean

-you're actually going to drown in puns and that is how you’ll die. I promise you. It’ll be glorious. You’ll probably end up with a pun written on your grave.

-SPACE. This guy loves space, upon reaching the surface and settling in he dives at every book about space he can get his hands on. He will lit up like the stars he so adores. Even if its just some piece of clothing with a star or space design, that's his aesthetic he will wear whatever it is because SPACE.

-talk science to this nerd oh my god. Especially curious about the sky don't let him fool you. He overall loves biology too, specifically wildlife. Everything on the surface is unfamiliar and so he loves it all. So. Fucking. Much.

-reading is his main thing, but isn't afraid to watch things on netflix. Tale always forgets to switch to his profile though so he gets a lot of anime suggestions amongst his billion documentaries. Also enjoys watching comedians.

-talk to him about his interests. He will go from sluggish to being very animated in seconds.

-insomnia for days. It's not as bad as in the underground but he's still relatively restless. Its not generally always because his thoughts are loud and deafening. Not really. This is usually when he goes to the backyard and flops on the ground to stare at the sky. Or he puts on a documentary. Never a comedian because that makes him a little more keyed up and awake.

-by the time day has come where Tale has gotten up he's watched several documentaries. Oops.

-Tale worries and fusses about him before taking up research to help with insomnia. He buys various teas and anything else that could help his brother relax. Though Classy Bean will generally fall asleep when his brother hugs him. He sleeps a lot better with someone next to him remarkably. Tale tucks him in before he cleans his brother's room before it drives him insane from simply looking at the mess. Self sustaining tornados are forbidden, so there's that he doesn't need to take care of.

-Tale and Classy Bean often fall asleep together on the couch when they spend time together watching one of mettaton’s shows. Nothing knocks them out faster.

-relatively a chill dude. He's pretty easy to get along with.

-don't hurt Tale. Seriously he’ll fight you. That doesn't always mean physically but he's ready to punch you in the face at any time if you talk shit about his brother. Doesn't care if you practically are shitting yourself because of his intimidation that was kind of the point of the thing.

-will not interfere in his brother’s life besides that. He knows his brother is relatively quick witted and clever. After an interaction with someone relatively rude he will send them a quick glare before getting Tale away from them. He hopes they ever so kindly fuck off. This is about one of the only times he is anywhere near aggressive.

-smol bean is 5 ft tall. Please don't remind him he's small and can't reach things its irritating as is. If you're smaller than him he will be secretly happy and adoring your tiny size. If you're tall he will probably try to get you to pick him up and carry him on his shoulders. One because he's lazy and two he secretly wishes to know what it's like to be tall.

-crippling depression. This hasn't changed for him. Though it's gotten relatively better where he's able to “fake it till you make it back home to your bed” more often than before, but there's those few days where he's absolutely drained. Where everything lists itself and swarms him and is overwhelming. He's tired but can't sleep. So he just lays in bed staring at the ceiling. These are the days Tale looks out for at a constant. On the days he sees his brother faking (he always knows) he tries to bring him some comfort and sometimes is able to address the rising problems before they build up too much. When Classy Bean gets like this his brother dotes on him. He knows he's doing his best, and always reassures him.

-generalized anxiety. Its not usually a huge problem where it causes him panic attacks (he has had a few before though) but he is always worried about something. He keeps a stress ball in his pocket which helps take the edge off. His brother usually is able to ease the anxiety and if not can help him walk through it to find that the thing bothering him was fine.

-birds. He loves birds. Their feathers are pretty, they're majestic but completely ridiculous at the same time. He developed a love for them when a crow had landed on his head. He felt like a Chosen One ™ in that instant. He's now a friend to all birds. The crow visits him often to bring him gifts. Buttons are fairly common. He named the crow Scare. Yes. Because then he could say he was a Scare Crow. Tale is fed up with this.

 Underfell

Soft Edge

-Was captain of the royal guard. He's very proud of this.

-slightly inflated ego. Some of it is deserved the other part he needs to tone down.

-so very extra and dramatic. He's kind of a huge dork.

-“WHAT IVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING EMBARRASSING IN MY LIFE” he's lying. He has done a handful and then some of embarrassing things. It's actually just him being a dork and being relatively cute.

-he lives for compliments. And attention. He desires all of it. Will begrudgingly accept sharing your attention though.

-relatively good cook. A little bit better than Tale.

-BAKING. He makes the best treats. He's a little self conscious about them though.

-constantly afraid he's a terrible person deep down. Is he taking care of his brother? Is he a good enough brother? These are serious questions for him. He's wonderful and doing his best.

-surprisingly nurturing. Kind of a kid magnet. He doesn't go to parks if he's looking for peace and quiet. He will end up playing games with the kids instead.

-please no puns. There are a few he enjoys truly. He can't help but smile when his brother makes them though because he knows he's comfortable then. He'll crack a few himself to help ease his brother's anxiety.

-cooking shows. He likes Gordon Ramsay a lot.

-loves art honestly. Like holy heck someone made that with their own two hands. Has not thought of trying to make any himself. He likes to watch different kinds of shows involving some art form. It's fascinating to watch.

-he's a real sweetheart under all that edge don't let him fool you.

-even more perceptive than Tale is. Though he doubts himself when it comes to his brother. Are you sure you interpreted that right? 99% of the time he has. His puzzles are a lot more intense than Tale’s.

-horror movies make him uncomfortable. He often finds them stupid as well but for some reason they urk him. Specifically the killer ones.

-kind of?? Fascinated by humans. They work a lot differently from monsters and that seems pretty damn cool.

-be rude to him and he'll be a savage asshole. Can be slightly rude on a regular basis.  He's not meaning to.

-his scarf is a gift from his brother and is his most cherished possession.

-will fight you if you don't think his brother is the absolute best. He will literally fight you.

-TOLLER BEAN. This boy is so tol its scary. 7’7 is so tol. You will not be taller than him which makes him feel pretty good about himself. If you're shorter than average he will want to pick you up and carry you around. He secretly adores tiny things they are simply ridiculously adorable.

-secretly loves pastels. They're soft and are the opposite of his usual aesthetic of edgy and dark but he doesn't really care they're cute colors. He really likes cute things he's come to realize and he likes to keep it on the down low. He's supposed to be scary and intimidating.

-is only scary and intimidating when he's angry. Has only been truly angry with his brother a few times in his life, and it wasn't fun. So he has amazing control over his temper.

-soft things are the best and no one can tell him otherwise.

-if he wants to do something he will do it NOTHING WILL STOP HIM. He refuses to back down. He will listen to reason though, he considers himself to be a reasonable skeleton.

-loud. Very loud. It helped intimidate people, but now he doesn’t have much of a need for it so he’s learning volume control. It is harder than he thought it would be.

 Red Boy

-24/7 aggressive internal screaming. Okay but seriously, he is. He has so much anxiety from the underground.

-always half expecting for “the other shoe to drop” or rather the bad shit to come his way when a good thing happens. Always afraid his happiness will be ripped away from him.

-needs so much affection the poor bab. He tries not to bother his brother about getting a hug all the time because he’s pretty sure he’d never let go.

-coat is big and floof like a security blanket. It’s a lot bigger than him it’s like he’s drowning in it which is exactly how he wants it.

-Also has depression like Classy Bean but it’s not as severe. His main problem is his overwhelming anxiety.

-coat was a gift from Soft Edge, and he will never go anywhere without it. It’s hot? Well guess he’ll die.

-the quiet bothers him. It’s crushing and overwhelming and it makes him super paranoid. On the surface they live in the city at least and so nothing is ever completely dead silent like in the underground. Soft Edge picked this on purpose for his brother.

-Like Classy Bean, he loves birds. Specifically birds of prey. They’re big and dangerous and he just thinks they’re super cool.

-Actually has an owl. He found an abandoned owlet in the woods when him and his brother were hiking one day (he was forced into it but at least he was spending time with his bro) and it had taken a shine to him. He tried to get it to stay but it kept following him. He ended up giving in to the little bird’s demands to stay with him. He couldn’t resist. He named the owl Hootyhoo.

-actually likes horror movies despite his anxiety. If asked why he will look dead straight at you and without skipping a beat say, “my life is a horror movie.” Paranormal movies scare the shit out of him.

-has made the mistake again and again of playing horror games in the dark. With headphones. Every time, he ends up screaming and falling out of his chair which wakes up Soft Edge. He ends up sleeping in his brothers room that night, terrified to be alone.

-has a lightsaber that can glow so he can walk down the halls to get snacks without disturbing anything. He forgets his magic can glow. He’s scared, tired, and hungry. He just wants to be sure he can get his snacks without getting attacked by something horrifying.

-will watch a lot of super hero movies and tv shows with his brother. They’re actually pretty cool and will go investigate some comics for his favorites.

-he’s a huge nerd, and has found himself looking through harry potter and lord of the rings stuff more than once.

-isn’t as big of a fan of science but still enjoys learning what he can, and the fact everything is practically at his fingertips with the internet he adores it. His phone has become one of the things he uses the most.

-is actually a tol bean too. He’s 7’ tall and actually rather enjoys the fact he’s super tall amongst humans. It’s great, look at how small they are it’s adorable.

-Darker sense of humor than Classy Bean, but still adores puns. Half of his humor is not pg-13 so be warned.

-will text Soft Edge at 4 am with weird questions. “What if… we’re all just fuckin ants to some aliens and that’s why they haven’t visited us?” He’s always met with “go the fuck to sleep”

-also pretty loud like his brother, and sometimes when they’re irritated about something they will go into a small screaming match. They don’t even say anything, it’s just incoherent screeching.

-kind of a flirt. Like he tries but isn’t all that great at it and will often just make you laugh. Outside of puns, words aren’t his forte.

-stays up way too late because he likes to make mistakes apparently. He needs to be up early tomorrow? That’s fine he’ll just watch one more walkthrough video- it’s 4 am now… How did he get here? What is time? He dies inside the next day. He takes a nap when he gets home. Rinse and repeat.

 Underswap

Honey Bear

-Oh god the biggest meme. The memeist meme to ever meme. “Can i be your meme dealer?”

-Pranks for days. Lazy ones that are generally the classics, but relatively good ones. He gets into prank wars with his brother a lot.

-Pretty damn smart honestly. Has an interest in quantum physics and other complex topics that would leave a lot of people in existential crisis.

-philosophy’s pretty cool, and has an overwhelming knowledge on it. He’s a classic nerd about this learning these things.

-lots of podcasts. It seems to be the only audio he has on his phone. Except for the incidental music with a few meme songs. He has rick rolled his brother a number of times. It never gets old. His favorite is Allstar by Smashmouth.

-very calm aura about him. He’s relatively chill and nice to be around overall.

-Tol bean too, 6 feet tall. Height doesn’t mean a whole lot to him, but if you’re short he will sometimes use your head as an armrest as a joke. He doesn’t do it a lot, just when he wants to annoy you.

-falls asleep random places. He’s an insomniac too and can’t seem to get ahold of a schedule or routine. So he’s always pretty tired.

-talks in his sleep. Full conversations with whoever it is in his dream. He likes to hear about what he said when he was asleep, it’s pretty funny to hear the weird things.

-walking talking shitpost, 100% on purpose. He’s got a great sense of humor. He is not always able to say everything with a straight face though and if he thinks of a shitpost kind of idea he may start wheezing and confuse everyone around him.

-smokes. Calms his nerves, but is trying to find a better replacement since his brother hates it so much. So far no such luck.

-has been picked up and dropped into the bathtub by his brother. He turned on the shower head, scaring the shit out of Honey Bear. it was always freezing.

-always cold for some reason, he wears a hoody all the time for good reason. Maybe he should put on pants instead of cargo shorts but that meant effort and so he was going to deal.

-he struggles with depression, which generally ends with him staying in bed binge watching netflix to forget his problems. His brother brings him food so he doesn’t forget to eat. There was a day he’d come home on one of his bad days and found he hadn’t eaten anything but honey.

-libraries are nice. If he’s not home or at muffet’s he’s at a library. They know him by name now. He reads for a while but eventually falls asleep. The library is nice and relaxing so it happens a lot. The staff know to wake him up an hour or so later. The poor guy needs the sleep.

-weirdest ringtones for people. Like my guy. What the fuck? If asked about it he’ll simply grin.

-ducks seem to really like him. He’s been followed home from the park by a flock of ducks before. He doesn’t really care if they follow him.

-his room stays clean since Sassberry likes to raid his room when he’s on a cleaning rampage.

-has a bazillion blankets and 2 pillows. That’s it. Sassberry stays away from the tangled ball of blankets on his bed unless it’s time to wash the bedding. If it is he quickly replaces the bedding for him so Honey Bear doesn’t freak out. Not having enough blankets makes him panic, and is one of the few things that gets such a strong reaction from him.

-a blanket hog. He’s cold and generally wraps himself in a cocoon when he sleeps. He’s pretty much accepted it at this point.

-loves watching disney movies with his brother. They seem to be more for him than Blueberry though, he hasn’t quite realized that though. He loves Princess and the Frog, Brave, and Mulan best. The heroines remind him of his brother a little bit.

-very reactive to movies actually. He was sobbing at the end of Toy Story 3 and Sassberry had to hold him while he cried.

-Honey Bear owns like 50 pairs of crocs just because of Sassberry’s reaction to them.

 Sassberry

-relatively very cheerful demeanor. He’s very excitable.

-not a child. Treat him as a child and he will leave the premises dead silent. A cashier checking him out had treated him that way once and he walked out of the store, leaving Honey Bear behind to pay for the groceries. He avoids that cashier at all times.

-You’re a fool if you think he’s innocent okay. You’re going to get fucking played, and will see how far he can push you. Honey Bear tries his best to get him to stop but sometimes, he’ll just let him do what he wants. This is usually with the people he doesn’t like a whole lot.

-Gets into prank wars with his brother. He’s very mischievous and so it’s a perfect way for him to let off some steam.

-always nice until provoked. Wanna say that thing about his brother again? Do it, he fucking dares you. He’s prepared to punch you in the face if you do say it again. He’s not very calm and accepting of people trashing his brother’s name. It is his ultimate pet peeve and if you insult his brother he will end all contacts with you.

-Insult him? Okay, he’s not going to take it to heart or at least try not to. Insult his outfit? He’ll insult you right back. He knows he’s adorable and you will not put him down on how he looks.

-He doesn’t tolerate people making mean remarks about other people’s appearance. He will sass them into their grave.

-Adores everything cute. He prefers a lot of women’s fashion and will often wear dresses and skirts too. He looks fucking adorable and you can fight him about this. He adores them.

-His scarf was something he’s had since he was a babybones and is his favorite thing to accessorize with.

-learned about quantum physics and philosophy so he could know what the hell his brother was talking about because holy shit. What the heck are you talking about my guy?

-After learning some of the subjects he found the multiverse theory. He seems to have a blast thinking about other versions of himself. He’s a strong believer in it. “I hope other universe me is having a good day.”

-smol bean. 5 feet tall. He loves tol people though. Short people are precious and when he first meets you where he realizes he’s taller he will get stars in his eyes.

-Tell him something weird and he will probably just roll with it. Have you met his brother? He’s a weird dork. There isn’t a too weird.

-horror is fascinating to him but he’s not a big fan of it. He’s rather casual about watching it, and he never really gets submersed in it where he’s scared.

-restless sleeper. Honey Bear and him have a lot of late night conversations when they can’t sleep.

-Sewing is one of his favorite activities. He makes a lot of things for himself and his brother. A lot of the blankets he has were made by him.

-watches some anime, he really enjoys slice of life and romcom kind of animes. Anything super cute. Magical girls are a big deal too. He watched Madoka Magica with his brother. He has never seen Honey Bear cry so hard.

-tries his hardest to be a pacifist and constantly reminds himself not to punch the people who insult his brother in the face. He has to be better than their poorly dressed ass. But it’s so hard.

-What are those horrible shoes on your feet? Crocs??? W H Y?

-Very loving and nurturing. He loves taking care of people and dotes on the people he loves.

-goes on cleaning rampages when something is bothering him.

-adores music. Music is amazing and he has started to hoard cds. He buys a lot of music from itunes as well but he adores cds too.

-his music is very very widespread and is very open to trying different genres. Once upon getting in the car Honey Bear gave him a weird look because a heavy metal cd started playing once the car turned on. He very awkwardly switched it to some light pop before explaining, “I was angry.”

-used to have a trombone but one day he a monster had rudely slapped it out of his hands because he was terrible at playing it and it was destroyed. Honey Bear and him kept searching Waterfall over the years for stuff but never found another one. He was still learning it at the time, but now he’s forgotten about all of it. He would love to try learning a different instrument though.

Swapfell

 Rus

-oh such an anxious boy. He’s doing his best to go about his day but he’s so stressed.

-His brother constantly singing his praise really helps keep him together. He can do this if his brother believes in him. It’ll be okay.

-Scary tol. 6’7 without slouching. He loves small and short people they’re adorable like his brother. If you’re taller than him that’s cool too, you’re just as cool.

-Hiding in his coat forever and always he barely lets it go. It’s big and warm and was a gift from his brother a long time ago to replace his old coat that was falling apart.

-Will hold his brother’s hand if they’re in a crowd or gives him a piggy back ride. Will likely do the same for you if you’re scared of crowds.

-Cooking is amazing like holy shit are you the next gordon Ramsay or something? He has a serious talent for it.

-really likes to cook, he finds it relaxing and he feeds his brother in the process. At the very least he isn’t eating a bunch of junk food and gets a healthy meal.

-Often looks up recipes for something new to try. He’s always trying to figure out a way to make sure his brother is able to eat healthy and enjoy the food at the same time.

-He will admit he’s a bit addicted to greasy foods. He can’t help it.

-His brother is the reason he started drinking barbeque sauce. When he started learning to grill he would douse the meats in barbeque sauce and that was when he discovered his love for it. He’s happy his brother still makes it the exact same way.

-he likes science though he’s never really focused on one field and hasn’t had the time to sit down and go through it.

-What is sleep? Ha ha ha… The poor boy is so anxious he has issues sleeping. He has to check on his brother at least 5 times in the night before he’s able to settle in. he’s a worry wort.

-music really helps him calm down, classical seems to do the best. He seems to gather rather haunting melodies in his collection though, so expect to find nothing but spoopy sounds.

-he can’t handle horror movies. It’s too much. Luckily his brother is the same way so they stay away from it pretty easily.

-horror movie ads terrify him significantly. He has to mute and click on a different tab until it’s past.

-he loves his brother so much, he low key worships him but it goes both ways between the two. They genuinely adore each other.

-touch starved. Anyone up for affection he is going to take advantage of that.

-Cuddles for days. Has zipped his brother up in his hoody and carried him around all day. It was very therapeutic for the both of them.

-craves praise and compliments. Him and his brother like to have sessions where they shower each other in compliments to help ease each other’s anxieties. Rus always ends up crying and it ends in cuddles. Please love this boy.

-has crippling depression similar to Classy Bean besides his anxiety. On bad days they just have leftovers or Scaryberry cooks.

Scaryberry

-So loud. Volume control does not exist. He’s not trying to fix it, he wants to be loud.

-smolest smol. 4’5 you will likely be taller than him. Don’t mention his height it makes him angry.

-seems like he’s always angry but he’s not he’s just a very rough and aggressive person.

-is childish because he doesn’t really like being an adult. Adulting is hard. He prefers his more childish demeanor over being overly serious.

-tantrums are just a show. He only uses them to draw attention and make the person he’s angry with panic about causing a scene. He’s a drama queen and life is his stage.

-puns are something he does like. They’re clever to him, but he will cringe at the shittier ones. You can do better than that.

-Anxiety. It’s everywhere. He has social anxiety, so he doesn’t like meeting new people without his brother around. Crowds are the worst. They’re so very loud and not in the good way, there are too many voices and it’s overwhelming. He’ll go into a panic attack.

-After becoming official friends with him, he will try to test what he can get away with. If you’re a bit of a doormat or pushover he will choose not to walk all over you later and try to defend you from being pushed around by others. If you don’t let him get away with jackshit then he’s relatively happy. He thinks it’s a very good trait to have.

-constantly tries to get his brother a scarf like his because he thinks he’d look cool in them. He hasn’t picked one out yet. There are too many unworthy of his brother.

-very opinionated. He will likely get into silly arguments with you like how to eat certain foods.

-he cannot cook. He can’t boil water at all, and he’s aware of how awful his cooking is. His brother generally takes care of it though and he adores his food.

-constant praise of his brother and friends. He loves giving compliments. He wishes he got more himself. He just wants affection is that so hard to ask?

-Says the weirdest things and his brother is often found doubled over laughing from it. He’s an energetic odd ball and he loves that.

-platonic cuddles are accepted and often times he will cuddle his friends when he desires affection. He gives gentle headbutts to get their attention to demand the affection.

-His brother is amazing and strong and you will never be able to tell him otherwise.

-He’s tough! He’s strong! He can handle anything!!!... okay maybe not horror movies BUT OTHER THAN THAT… Okay dogs are kind of scary… so are dolls, they seem suspicious… He’s not scared of no thing though! Whatever it is he’s trembling don’t make him do this. Quickly give him an out.

-he adores musicals! He can’t get enough of them. He loves Heathers, Hamilton, and Sweeney Todd so far, but his all time favorite is Phantom of the Opera. You’ll often hear him humming the music from Phantom of the Opera to himself.

-can’t cook but can do barbeques. He doesn’t get it but he rolls with it. He’s a grill master. He likes he’s good at something besides cleaning. It makes him feel more useful.

-loves sweets and junky foods. Hates vegetables. Will only eat them in a certain way.

-hates cleaning but will do it because he hates a dirty house more.

-has days where his energy is relatively low and he doesn’t do anything. He’s going to binge watch every musical he has and hang out with his brother.

 Horrortale

 Sugarskull

-The sweetest of all the skellies. Like liquid sugar.

-Not fond of his appearance but it is what it is. He can’t really fix it, so he decides not to dwell on it too much. Though upon reaching the surface finally it starts to bother him more.

-he doesn’t like scaring people and it’s hard to understand what part of him is scary looking so he can fix it. He doesn’t need to fix anything, he’s a sweet boy through and through.

-His bones ache a lot from the abuse he’s been through from Undyne. He tries not to let it bother him but sometimes he has a bad day where the pain is worse. Seems like it can get worse because of the weather, so he tries to keep an eye on the weather channel so he can plan around it. It works pretty well.

-Got new clothes after reaching the surface so he doesn’t wear his blood stained ones anymore. He figured out that it probably was unsettling and was quick to change it. He noticed a change which made people more willing to interact with him. He was overjoyed by the small step in progress.

-His clothes have a lot of variety but he has more pastel colored clothes than anything. They make him feel warm and fuzzy looking at them, and they’re so gentle. He also has every soft sweater he could find.

-Still holds on to his old stained clothes, but keeps them folded up nicely and kept in a box in his closet. His scarf luckily wasn’t stained so he keeps it on at all times.

-has an interest in action figures and stuffed animals. Stuffed animals are super soft and the action figures are neat.

-He cried when he first was introduced to a grocery store. There was so much food.

-also how he made his first friend. The grocery store was locally owned and the woman who owned it noticed him crying. She helped him calm down before checking him out herself. She threw in some extra things she noticed him eyeing for free. The woman hadn’t heard his story but recognized someone who struggled with starvation.

-the store now knows him by name, and is sure to send him any coupons they can get a hold of, a curtsy of the owner. He feels lucky to have such a good friend, and gives him hope for making other friends.

-extremely tol bean. He’s 8 feet tall. He hopes you don’t mind him picking you up. It’s easier on him to do that so he can be eye level with you. If not he will crouch down, even if it really hurts to do so.

-he has some paranoia when it comes to night time. It’s quiet and dark. He doesn’t like it. He is quick to find a solution though to fill in the silence. He plays soft nature sounds in his room to help him go to sleep. If that doesn’t work, he goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch after turning on the tv. He needs some sort of white noise or he’ll be anxious and unable to sleep the entire night.

-nightmares aren’t uncommon. He can’t remember them when he wakes up but his panicked state always confirms with him that he’d just had a bad dream. It takes a bit to calm down, he usually makes some tea to help his nerves.

-when he learns about cooking shows he’s ecstatic. There was an entire channel about cooking????????????? His eyes just light up. He learns some neat things from the channel but overall just enjoys learning about all sorts of foods humans have. There were so many. Sometimes he cries because he realizes that he’s able to make them if he really wanted and didn’t have to scrounge for food.

-he watches a lot of tv. Just about anything that makes him curious. He would read but it’s a little harder for him to get anything across to him sometimes. He can read it just find but comprehension seems to escape him. It’s such an off and on thing he just prefers not to read so he doesn’t get overly frustrated.

-has become more optimistic again after moving onto the surface. There’s a sky, there’s food, and he has his brother. He’s grateful for these things. He knows him and his brother have room for improvement though. They would heal in time, and even if they couldn’t completely go back to the way things were before, they at least had each other for the rough days.

 Axe

-it’s probably the roughest on him for the move to the surface. The only person he really trusts is his brother. Interactions with other people are awkward and strained.

-doesn’t like being asked about what happened in the underground. Will leave the conversation as fast as he can. That’s a can of worms he ain’t letting anyone open.

-pretty irritable when he’s uncomfortable. The surface is really different and it’s a lot to process for him. He stays at home mostly until he grows more comfortable to the fact of being on the surface.

-He then starts heading out with Sugarskull to slowly introduce himself to the rest of the world. It’s not so bad when he’s with his brother.

-The local grocery store is heaven, and he gets a conversation with the owner along side his brother. He was surprised she was looking out for him, and it makes things a little easier. He’s happy someone has accepted Sugarskull like this. It honestly takes a load off his mind.

-he starts exploring a little more after that. He enjoys the park a lot. Though he scares a lot of kids. There’s always a few weird ones that come talk to him and ask him nosy questions.

-Seeing the sky still kind of shakes him, like holy shit suddenly grounded. This is real. This isn’t a dream. He needs to sit down for a few hours.

-watches a lot of tv with Sugarskull. There is a lot of interesting channels and reading seems to be a lot harder for the both of them now. They’d been pretty avid readers but now books were more frustrating than anything.

-Axe still tries to read at times though. He wants to look more into science again, remember the stuff he loved about it. It’s all a hazy memory now. The books don’t help though.

-Axe remembers his love when him and his brother stargaze one night, and he feels a surge of adoration for the stars again. Oh, he’s crying shit. His brother hugs him and wipes his tears away. He’s as understanding as ever.

-Youtube is a gift from the gods. Axe is able to dive back into science because of it due to the science channels.

-he ends up watching a lot of other bullshit too. The videos vary greatly. Sometimes Sugarskull accidentally uses his channel and forgets to log off so there’s a lot of how to videos recommended to him too. He doesn’t care.

-horror movies are a no go. He’s had enough of that in real life, and doesn’t let it go anywhere near Sugarskull. That would be too much for the both of them.

-horror games are okay for him though. It feels like it’s a safe way to get out his frustrations. As long as he gets to kill things. That’s about the only kind of games he’ll be comfortable. He’s done a lot of shit but he doesn’t need any of that psychological horror shit. He’s fucked up enough as it is.

-tol bean. He’s 6 feet tall. He’s shocked to find he’s on the tall side for humans. This is different. He’s used to people being taller but now he’s tall too. This is actually a really nice feeling.

-morbid sense of humor, he really can’t help it. He’s actually funny as hell but holy shit are his jokes wrong as hell.

-cracking jokes eases his discomfort, and is able to adjust a little better hearing someone actually laugh at his jokes. You’re weird. That’s cool.