#besides writing all the events down in my journal

[charlott2n]

forgetting is crazy like theres just a last time you ever even know something happened

[hysteria-things]

✿ PROMISE? ✿ PART SIX.

ʚ♡ɞ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 ʚ♡ɞ

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and chris hang out after what feels like forever, and he finds something personal of yours under the bed. because he’s nosy, he can’t help but open it.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, that should be it :)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,034

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: changing up some things…

(dividers by @strangergraphics)

𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐍 disbelief, the nostalgia hitting him like a truck. nothing and he means nothing has changed about your house from when you guys were little. hell, there still was the wall by the doorway where it had your heights written in pencil. it faded throughout the years, but it’s still visible. his heart hurts when he realizes it stops at age ten.

the both of you talked as if you guys didn’t stop talking at all. “let’s chill out in my room.” you say, grabbing his hand and guiding him up the stairs.

although he was in here the other day, he didn’t get to really look around until now. your room captures you perfectly. you sigh, sitting down on the mattress that is filled with stuffed animals. you pat the spot next to you for him to take, and he does. “sorry if it’s messy.” you bite the inside of your mouth before speaking again. “now what? i was never a good host.”

“whatever you want to do.”

groaning, you get up and wipe your palms on your pants. “what i want to do is go pee. i’ll be right back.”

walking out of the room, you leave chris there alone. he rose himself off the bed and slowly walked around. he laughs to himself. he realized you became more comfortable with him again in the short hours you’ve been together, despite recent events. next to the closet door, there’s a bookshelf with a ton of books on it. the same bookshelf that was filled with dr. suess and harry potter. now, it’s filled with… interesting.

he leans down, reading the spines with furrowed brows. twisted games? the nanny? icebreaker?

stay curious for this one, chris.

next to the flatscreen TV on the wall, you have a lot of other stuff hanging up, one being your varsity award for volleyball. two pictures however stood out to him — besides the dinosaur with sunglasses painting you also have hung up. one of them is a polaroid of you and nate, recently took at the local fair. chris makes a face at that.

the other photo is of these two kids, roughly the age of seven. they look like twins; boy and girl. the rest of your family doesn’t live here, hence all of the pictures of them. because chris does nightly facebook searches to keep up, he noticed these are your cousin’s twins.

smiling softly, he thinks about how much you love your family. you’ve always been a family person, even if they aren’t here. he understands what that’s like. being in L.A. while everybody else is in boston sucks, but luckily they got a few months to be back home.

as he turns around to sit back down on the bed, he sees a notebook sticking out from under it. he doesn’t want to look through your belongings, but curiosity got the best of him. he bends over to pick it up and open it while lowering himself to sit down.

there is a note on the inside of the cover.

he skims through the pages to see how much you wrote and it is a good amount. he stops when the handwriting suddenly changes, meaning that you stopped writing for a while. the other entries had smudges on them except for the ones he landed on. this one must be new.

so, he started to read.

dear journal,

i’m sorry i ditched you for about a year and a half. i don't have an explanation for it, but lately, i’ve been itching to write. i remembered i had this journal - thanks to my cousin bethany for getting you for me for my 9th birthday. i know you’re an inanimate object, but i forgot how relaxing it is to write down my thoughts for nobody except myself.

i can’t help but cringe at what i wrote in the past, and i sincerely apologize.

“i can’t wait to marry kevin one day!”

“omg, he talked to me today!”

“i think we’re going to be together forever!”

i’m gagging just rethinking that moment. come on now.

anyway, life has been crazy lately. shoutout to the sturniolos for ditching me and acting like we didn’t grow up together! appreciate you guys for real. i’m exhausted.

the thing is, i always had trouble sleeping. i know i just said i’m exhausted, but it’s 3 AM and suddenly it feels like i’m wide awake. i just know i’m going to be grumpy for the next few days. a lot has happened ever since they left. i’ve changed, and i hate/love it at the same time.

i’ve been going out more, doing shit i shouldn’t. (don’t tell my parents…) something also happened a while ago that’s still a blur. i can’t put my finger on it. all i remember is that the police came to my door and asked me a ton of questions about somebody.

anyway, life has been happening too fast. i would appreciate it if it slows down a tad. on the upside, my mom said the rest of the family is coming here soon. i don’t know when, but soon. bethany would for sure be happy to hear i’ve started writing here again.

my thoughts are draining the second i write things on this paper, so i’m going to try and get sleep. i’ll update you whenever i can.

- y/n

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

dear journal,

me again: at approximately 4 AM. today has been something else, let me tell you. my mom came up to me yesterday and told me some unfortunate news. can you guess who’s back in town? if you guessed my lovely besties, you’re correct! and do you know whose birthday it is, meaning i have to go to the party? you’ve guessed it! my BFFs!

doesn’t help that i’m on my period right now. i can’t do this shit.

either way, i had to be there for nate. he’s the one that stuck around. marylou will forever be the original best friend in my opinion. she stuck around, too. it’s her children i got a bone to pick with. (except justin. he’s cool.)

seeing them in person for the first time in so long had me tweaking. i admit that i was a bitch to them at the party, and not to be a bitch now, but they deserved it. however, when i saw chris, my first thought was about how he’s such a cutie still. i hate my mind for that.

i tried to ignore them for the rest of the party, and it was semi-successful.

- y/n

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

dear journal,

you will not believe this. nick messaged me on instagram saying how sorry they were and asked to meet up at my house. for whatever reason, i said yes and they came over. we sort of cleared everything. key word, sort of.

they said they wanted me back in their life and apologized for what they did. i still need to give it time, but we do want to start hanging out again soon. i missed those dorks.

that’s until chris stopped me and asked for the note he wrote to me when we were little. the note he promised me to keep, and i obviously did. i’ll tape it here.

this little piece of paper is my favorite thing anybody ever gave to me.

- y/n

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

dear journal,

sorry, i left you hanging for a few days, a lot happened in such a short amount of time.

long story short, jaiden and claudia invited me to a party. chris texted me while i was there. he seemed a bit weirded out about why i was at finn yaw’s party, but i hope he knows i wasn’t there for any specific reason. i do appreciate that he cares about my well-being, even after the downfall.

i got home not long ago and he’s texting me as i’m writing this. he just asked me to hang out tomorrow which shocked me a little, but i said yes.

not going to lie, i’m excited to hang out with chris, even though i have no idea what we’re doing. hopefully, it goes well.

- y/n

chris snaps out of it as he hears you walking back into your room, making him shove the book back under the bed. he feels kind of honored to be a part of your little notebook. “sorry, that took longer than i wanted. i had to deal with something.” you say, sitting down on the bed with a sigh. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “why are you smiling like that?”

“smiling like what?”

“like… that,” you say, circling your finger that was pointing at his face.

“no reason.” he shrugs “anyway, what’s next on the y/n agenda?”

you look around the room while biting the inside of her cheek. “are you hungry? my dad made ribs last night and it’s to die for.”

jumping up from the bed, you motion him to follow you. you walk into the kitchen, flicking on the four light switches that are on the wall. you waltz over to the fridge and open it, going on your tippy toes to grab the container on the top shelf. “how many do you want?” you ask, going on your tippy toes once again to grab paper plates in the upper cabinet.

“three is fine. do you need help?”

you shake your head. “no, i got it.”

chris stands by the island that separates the kitchen from the dining room. he leans against it, watching you plop three ribs onto his plate and only one on yours. you take his plate in your hands and reach up to the microwave. you stick your tongue out and groan. you’re struggling because of how short you are since the microwave is on the wall above the oven.

“i got it.” he chuckles, grabbing the plate from your hand and sticking it in the microwave. his hand grazes the side of your arm as he puts in two minutes and presses start. you cross your arms without looking at him. “i could’ve gotten it.”

“yeah, right.”

sitting there for two minutes feels like ten before the microwave finally goes off. you start running to the microwave but he stops you. “i don’t want you to hurt yourself by reaching for it. i got it.”

he takes the plate out and feels a rib with his finger. he nods. “it’s good.”

“okay.” you say with a low tone. he looks towards you to see you staring at your rib that still lies cold on the plate. “what’s wrong?”

“i don’t think i want this anymore.” you quickly open the container, plop it back in, and stick it back in the fridge.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 sitting in your room, matt had to come pick his brother up. you and chris are currently standing on the front porch, having one last word with each other. matt is waiting in the van at the end of the stairs.

“it was nice hanging out with you again,” you say shyly. “we should get everybody back together soon.”

“i agree.” he smiles “i’m sure i’ll text you later.”

getting closer to him, you pull him into a hug. it was abrupt, but he hugged you back of course.

then, the horn of the van beeps causing you to jump and pull away. “can you hurry the fuck up? nick is waiting for us at home and is obnoxiously annoying. mom also made dinner.” matt screams from the window.

“i’ll see you around,” chris says, jogging down the stairs. he gets in the passenger seat and grabs the seat belt to strap himself in. matt waves to you, which you graciously return.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ✿ ⋆⁺₊⋆

𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍’𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 them to get home. they live close to your house, and the duration is no longer than five minutes. he takes off his shoes at the door as his phone vibrates from getting a text.

y/n����‍🌫️

thanks for today

i had fun :)

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

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[tsunami-of-tears]

Someplace better

Azriel x Reader

A/N: This is dark. There are no happy endings. Please read the warnings.

Wordcount: <1K

Warnings: angst doesn’t even cut it; emotionally abusive family dynamic; suicide; it does not end well, you’ve been warned.

My mother is a horrible wench. 

We just had yet another fight that ended in screaming and tears and slammed doors. 

I thought our relationship was getting better. I was trying to open up about the struggles I’ve been having, only to have them all thrown back in my face. 

“Before you point the finger at everyone else, maybe you need to consider that you’re the problem,” she sneers. 

I’d been trying to tell her how overwhelmed I felt, that I felt stuck and couldn’t see a way out. I can feel myself starting to crack under the pressure, pieces of me splintering as I try to be everything for everyone. 

No matter how hard I try, it’s not enough. There’s always something I’m not doing, something not done right. 

‘You’re a failure and a burden,’ that little voice says, harmonising with my mother’s insults.

“I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself,” she says dismissively. 

So much for motherly love… 

————

Later that evening, I’m heading to the River House for a family dinner. These events have become less frequent with everyone’s busy schedules, and I’m looking forward to seeing my friends. 

Rhysand greets me at the door, pulling me into a hug. “Y/N, it’s been too long,” he smiles down at me warmly. “Everyone else is here already, come in.” 

“It’s good to see you, I’ve missed everyone,” I give Rhys a tight smile in return. 

Time appears to stop as we walk down the hallway. The awkwardness drags on for what feels like forever. My thoughts race with things I could say, but my tongue cannot form the words. Rhys notices my silence, furrowing his brows at me. I plaster a huge smile on my face, attempting to conceal my inner turmoil. I can’t tell if Rhys picks up on my forgery. 

We enter the living room which is alive with chatter between my friends. 

Mor, Feyre and Cassian are laughing together, likely about something Cassian said. 

Amren and Nesta are engaged in a heated discussion.

And then Azriel… He’s with Elain, talking softly together about gods knows what. My heart starts to crack at the sight. 

I really don’t want to get between Nesta and Amren, and I can’t face Azriel and Elain together, so I sit next to Cassian as Rhys perches on the arm of the chair beside Feyre. He leans down to kiss her softly on the top of her head and I look away quickly, the crack growing until I feel like my heart is split in two.

Cassian gives me a quick peck on the cheek as I sit before returning to his conversation with Feyre and Mor. 

I struggle to engage with anyone, feeling more alone than ever while surrounded by my chosen family. 

————

The rest of the night is much of the same. 

Every single word is a monumental effort. 

I’m hyper-aware of every single person around the table. Every single smile and hidden touch. I feel as if I’m watching from behind a window. I’m on the outside. Alone.

‘They’ll be fine without you,’ that little voice whispers in my ear. ‘Look how happy they are. They don’t need you. All your efforts are wasted. You are a waste.’

After dinner I bid everyone goodnight, heading up to my room. 

I miss the concerned glances between my friends, who noticed I’ve been extra quiet tonight.

I miss the shadows that follow behind me. 

I miss the way Azriel zones out from what Elain is saying as he watches me leave. 

————

I can’t remember the last time I stayed in this room but all my things remain untouched. Clothing, journals, even some beauty products - all where I left them. 

I pick up one of my old journals and flip through the pages. I mostly write down the bad stuff. It usually helps get the feelings out, but right now, it’s only adding to the storm that’s brewing inside me. 

I carefully set down the books in a stack on my nightstand, picking up a scrap of parchment. As I always do, I write. 

I’m sorry to do this here, tonight, but I cannot go on any longer.  I truly believe this is for the best. The world was not made for people like me. I’m far too soft.  I love you all. Y/N

I set the note down on the bed and rummage through my various medicines. I’ve always struggled to sleep, so I should have some extra tonics in here somewhere… 

I find four bottles of sleeping tonic in one of my drawers, plus the one in my pocket. 

I arrange them on the nightstand in a straight line. 

I pick up the first bottle, uncorking it and raising it in the air. 

A toast, to finding someplace better.

I bring the glass rim to my lips, chugging the clear liquid. 

One down. Just a few more. 

I make short work of the remaining bottles, though I feel a bit queasy from the sheer volume. 

As I set down the last bottle, a wisp of darkness curls around my wrist and snakes between the empty bottles. 

“You’re too late,” I tell it. 

The shadow vanishes and my eyes start to droop. 

I lay down on the bed, my entire body feeling heavy. 

As I feel myself losing the battle for consciousness, a mass of dark shadows appears next to the bed. 

Azriel. 

He is frantic as he reaches towards me. 

So close. He was so close. 

I never get to feel those hands again as the world fades to black and I give myself over to the endless sleep. 

A/N: I’m not gonna lie and say I’m okay when clearly I’m not, but I’m not unsafe tonight. 

Mental Health Resources*:  If you’re in immediate danger please call your country’s emergency number. Australia: Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ Mental Health Hotline: 1800 011 511 Lifeline: 13 11 14 USA:  Crisis Line (call or text): 988 UK:  Lifeline: 0808 808 8000 *If I have gotten anything wrong or if you have other resources to add, please let me know

[queenvitch]

Wish I Were His Dream

+

When the reader is hopelessly in love with Vinsmoke Sanji, while he falls in love with Nami.

+

This was written at like 3am so it might sound pretty stupid, but this fic is based on Connan Grays Heather and I took a lil inspiration from Saeran in Mystic Messenger!~

Enjoy~

I will become the world's greatest journalist who writes honestly about the events between the government and pirates. That's that. There's nothing else to it. That is the goal I hold close to my heart since it is the only goal that matter for me. What other dream could I chase after if not that?

Since I joined the Strawhats, I have not wished to do anything except chase after my dream and help my friends on their journey to reach their dreams. I often offer helping out with the smallest things if it means their happiness is rewarded; helping Robin water her flowers, testing out Usopp's new gadgets, fixing up Luffy’s torn clothes… I always wish for their happiness since I have grown quite attached to them- I never intend to have my dreams clash with theirs. If it ever did...why would I travel alongside them? Would I not be a nuisance who makes their progress backtrack? Yes, I would be a bother to them. However, since I do not have any dreams that clash with the Strawhats, I will continue traveling the seas with them. Hopefully our family- that has been brought together despite the odds of us getting along- stick together. That has become one of my other dreams that reside in my heart despite our short history together.

Looking over the pages of my journal, I re-read what I had written in the past up until today. Laughing at myself silently I lifted the cup of black coffee that sat near my journal and took a slow sip, all while staring at the man in front silently whisking away at something that will most definitely become a marvelous delicacy for us rowdy pirates to have the pleasure of eating later on today.

His back faced me, with his broad shoulders casting a shadow from the light emitting through the window in front of him. His soft blonde locks swayed every time a breeze entered the small kitchen. The striped blue button up that he wore would stretch and pull with the slightest movement of his arms, which exhibited the strong lean muscles he had underneath his clothes. The place I sat at made him seem like an angel. To be fair, he honestly is not far from being a real one. The man who was now at the fridge- searching for some unknown ingredient to me- had started humming a soft tune to himself. I listened earnestly attempting to puzzle together what song had managed to get stuck in his head. Identifying the song to be the one played the night before by Brook- our crew's most favorite song yet- I closed my eyes and let a very small smile form as I enjoyed listening to the man's small performance.

Memories about a certain moment when I had discovered one more dream of mine flowed through my head; The moment when I discovered how dear our crew's chef is.

The moment I discovered that the chef was such a sweet person that I wished to keep him happy above my own happiness. The moment when I discovered that I wished to keep him beside me and I at his side at all times. That moment when I discovered I love the chef.

I love Sanji.

The thought of loving Sanji full heartedly made my chest flutter and my cheeks burn.

I remember that moment so clearly. It was when I had collapsed from exhaustion in the bath room one day. He had been searching for me all over the ship, he had a sundae prepared for all the crew but preferred to deliver the desserts to the ladies out of courtesy. I was undressed with a towel and ready to bathe to replenish my strength, but my body gave out when I turned on the faucet. I had fallen face first onto the tile floor. When I awoke, I was informed of my overworked body giving out and how I was found by Chopper.

He told me Sanji carried me down from the bath to his office. I found myself wearing an oversized sweater instead of clothes, although it was embarrassing that the perverted chef saw me in such a state it was also really respectful of him to cover me up with his own clothes. Even if such decency was expected out of everyone, it made me realize that the man was not such a crook and actually took it upon himself to behave in such a way with no one having to supervise him.

After that collapse in the bath room, I had a fever for a week. Sanji stayed by my side when he was not preparing food. He served me the most nutritious soups, changed my towel out often, checked on my temperature, and called Chopper over with paranoia that I had not improved. He had no reason to do any of this, but he did. He may have done it out of sympathy since he had seen me in the nude, however I began seeing him in a different light since then.

Opening my eyes, I looked at the chef once more then turned back to my journal and coffee. I flipped to a page where I had analyzed him when I had been exposed to him behaving differently. I realized my feelings for the man not long after writing this excerpt. I now question my foolishness to look into him more.

Although I once knew Sanji to be simply a loyal comrade, I have recently pondered the complexity of his character and see him entirely anew.

Sanji is a passionate and sympathetic man. He believes that everyone should have the decency to finish their meal out of respect for those who do not receive a meal. He takes initiative to help those who are in need of a hand no matter if it is a starving crook of a pirate or a lonesome head searching for his body. He dreams of a magical place named the All Blue, and becomes giddy whenever he revisits in his heart his cherished goal.

But his most prominent trait is the fact that he is known to be a womanizer. A ladies man. A flirt. A pervert.

I believe that his perverted personality stemmed from his admiration of women, from seeing women to be superior and worshipped for everything. Maybe he cherished the abilities of women to bring and sustain a new life...maybe he cherished the soft kindness that most women carry with them...maybe he cherished the strong women who ignored sex stereotypes...I believe that whatever he admired- or better yet- everything he admired on women led for him to simply love everything about them. He gushes over a female's body, mind, and soul.

When I look at him as a whole, I see a chivalrous kind-hearted man.

Oh, what a fool I was.

I looked at the man who had been moving around the kitchen. I accidentally sang a part of the song as I saw him practically dancing in the middle of the kitchen. He paused, and turned over to me.

“Oh…” I sat up straight upon realizing I interrupted his moment to himself. “Sorry…” I offered an apologetic grin up at him as I sank into my seat about to return to my journal and coffee.

“(name)-chan...” His face turned red slowly then he started wiggle dancing while spouting our compliments on how cute and shy I am.

“You know you can sing for me if you would like, (name)-chan?” Hearts formed in his eyes as he thought of the possibility of me singing for him. I laughed and declined his offer.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t realize I was caught up in your humming. You can get back to it, I just want to review my journal right now…” He stopped gushing over me and gave me a confused expression.

“Why are you sorry?” cheekily grinning at him, I tilt my head to the side without answering him.

I downed the rest of my coffee and washed and placed it away. I walked back to the journal sitting on the table, with Sanji continuously staring at my movements. Ignoring him until he stopped, I flipped through my pages in an attempt to distract myself from the blonde’s stares. When he returned to cooking, I felt many glances shot in my direction.

The door to the kitchen was swung open all of a sudden. In walked the red haired Nami, with a newspaper in one hand and a pen in another. She had barely entered the proximity, but Sanji had automatically offered to serve her a cup of hot coffee and get her a snack if she wished. Accepting the offer, she sat across from me and immediately started reading today's news.

Looking down at my journal scribbled with thoughts of Sanji and sketches of him from the backside, I dejectedly smiled. He didn’t offer me anything when I walked in earlier. I made and served my own cup of coffee. I looked up at the navigator sitting across from me and admired her beauty. I glanced at the chef who stared at her longingly. Smiling to myself in mockery, I stood up and left the room.

Finding myself in the aquarium alone. I followed the fishes dancing in the water. They made me ponder what Sanji’s All Blue would be like.

His dream… Surely he must have another desire like I do. What if his dream is to be with Nami?

My dreams conclude of being the best journalist the world has seen, keeping my family happy, and for Sanji to be by my side and I to his.

This is why my younger self was so foolish.

My dreams clash with one of my crew's dreams now…

I told myself that if that ever happened, I should leave to not burden the Strawhats… But I really don’t want to… Am I selfish for wanting to stay by his side despite him not wanting me?

I really do adore her… She’s such a perfect girl that I would not question anyone falling for her.

Nami is lucky.

She is beautiful, strong, smart, kind, and overall attractive to all. She has many emotional scars and deals with them so admirably...She somehow can become stronger from everything that puts her down. I look up to her. I wish I could be just like her.

I confess that she beats me in everything… I’m not as pretty. Or smart. Or strong. Or kind… But I still envy her…

After continuously hiding myself behind laughter and smiles to the crew for months on end, Sanji began speaking with me more often.

Of course I relished in his attention whenever he would offer it to me, but his thoughts and conversations with me always returned to the same topic. Nami, our navigator.

Everytime he would mention another woman in my presence, my heart painfully throbs. Why can't I just get over it…?

I should be happy for them both.

Yes, I cherish them both but when I am around either one of them my head spins like crazy from the stress of having to put up a front of a happy crewmate. I continuously will ignore this sensation though. I don’t want to ruin their chances with each other… I don’t want to lose either one of them…

I have noticed Sanji flirting and swooning over other females less and less every day. His feelings for her are growing so tremendously that his playboy behavior has dwindled into simply a chivalrous behavior- a respectable behavior that remains loyal to a certain person.

Since he comes to me for emotional support in pursuing Nami, I can feel that one day he will ask her straight up to be with him… I know him… He will definitely make it a romantic and extravagant event. I expect for many flower petals, a fancy dinner, a clean suit, and maybe a gold ring or necklace as a gift. He is simply such a romantic… Of course he will make it a big ordeal. That’s just who he is. I love him so much… I wish that instead of her, it was me who he is pursuing…

I was in the Library reading when Sanji came in for me. I closed the book and gave him my full attention. He looked serious, and I wondered if it was about his love ordeal.

“I need help…” He gulped and stepped closer to me. “(name)-chan, please, help me with your womanly opinions! I plan to ask her to be mine, but I want to make it perfect!”

Staring at him with my mouth slightly agape, I looked down and responded in a quiet voice. “Any ideas?” I then gave him a gummy smile with my eyes closed. He mirrored my expression and sat down next to me.

Turns out my guess earlier was correct. He wanted to have me help choose the gift and flowers to go with his Italian themed dinner.

He is so cliche.

The romantic gestures are so guessable.

But I am not complaining. What position am I in to even complain? I’m desperate for the slightest amount of attention from him.

Tomorrow night. That is when Sanji will attempt to woo Nami.

While we were out shopping today, we chose a golden heart lock necklace with N+S engraved in the heart. It was really pretty, and we found a painter who was able to draw them together according to their wanted posters. It turned out nicely…

The flowers chosen were red rose petals to be strewn about and center pieces of Peonies. I picked up a bouquet of blue roses for myself, but Sanji was quick to include it with his order.

It's almost laughable how terribly friend-zoned I am. Sanji, the one I cannot have, bought me blue roses as a gift of thanks for helping with his love interest pursuit…

Sanji ran to me in my bedroom in his ice suit. He looked amazingly handsome. His white vest sat on top of a white button up, the colors contrast with his red tie making it the main appeal to the outfit. His long legs covered in white strode to me so quickly that I had no other choice but to snap out of my trance.

“Where is your coat?” I stood up to meet him halfway across my room.

“The button popped off…(name)-chan, can you please fix it? The dinner starts in fifteen minutes!” He held the coat that was hidden behind his back out to me. I noticed the red rose that was supposed to sit on his pectoral was in his other hand. I reached out to grab the rose out of his hand and place it in the water among my blue roses.

The sight of the roses made me squint in heart break.

Unlike me, Nami is being gifted red roses and peonies…

“Let me grab some thread and needle.” Leaving him standing near my desk while I searched for the items needed, I ignored the numbing pain in my chest.

“Thank you (name)-chan!!” I smiled gently at him.

Nami has a kinder smile than me...

“Of course, Sanji. Anything for you!” Tears almost slipped out of my eyes when I took his coat with eye contact. I started fixing his button as quickly and neatly that I could.

I bet Nami could do it better than me…

Once I finished, I put the coat on him and fixed his attire up. I fixed his hair and grabbed the rose from my bouquet.

Sanji quietly watched me as I got him ready to send him off.

She would most definitely send him off with more attentiveness...

I can’t even look him in the eye right now…

Just as I was about to place the rose on his chest, Sanji placed his hand in the area it was meant to go in. Looking up at him, I ask why he did that. He shot me a closed eye smile and spoke in such a natural caring tone.

“I just feel like your bouquet could use a red rose among the blue, (name)-chan!’ I blinked at him in confusion and despair.

Sensing my confusion and assuming my sadness was due to him not wanting the rose he explained himself further.

“I have more roses, so don't worry.” He took the rose out of my hand and kissed it.

With my eyebrows furrowing together, making myself seem concerned instead of sorrowful, I spoke in a voice that shook with each word.

Everything he tells me is a stab to my heart.

“Don’t you think that the bouquet should be blue, only? Or red only? Having them both makes the situation complex…” I looked back my the flowers sitting on my bedside.

“I think the beauty of a bouquet comes from having variable colors mixed together.” Once again, the grin he shot me made me want to cry.

“Don’t you think maybe Nami should receive all of the red roses? I mean, you did get them for her.”

“(Name)-chan, it’s just one rose. You have helped me so much, I could never repay you fully…” He lifted my chin to make me look at him rather than the flowers we spoke about.

The rose he kissed… He places it directly in front of my mouth allowing for the soft petals to tickle my lips.

After I took the red rose out of his hand, he gave me a chaste kiss to the forehead. He then stepped back.

“Thank you! For everything, (name)-chan! The dinner time is soon so must be on my way. Good night, (name)-chan!” He stepped out of my room and I could hear his foot steps disappearing as I stood frozen in my room.

Sliding to the floor I held the red rose in my hand so tenderly as I finally cried out the frustrating feeling of being rejected for so long.

Why?

Why did he have to kiss me?

Why would you give me this red rose?

Crawling to my bedside, I carefully placed the red rose amongst the blue roses. I curled into a ball on my bed, staring at the roses and wishing for the red one to never wither away.

Nami…

He belongs to Nami…

Nami belongs to him…

…

I wish I were Nami.

:')

Gosh, that hurt my heart...

~ Miss Queen

[famesau]

Braiding His Hair

Charles Smith x Gender neutral native reader

summary: Charles asks you to braid his hair :))

Warnings: very slight angst >:)

a/n: I've been ITCHING to write a Charles fic so here we gooo. I have a Kieran fic in the works too.

Today unlike the other days in camp today the heat was close to unbearable. You were sat underneath a tree trying to keep cool yet even in the shade large droplets of sweat accumulated on your forehead. Almost everyone was doing the same, hiding in shady spots to keep cool, all except a few folks. Some of the men tended to chores and ran errands for Dutch, out of the small group of men doing so Charles was one of them. He was one of the hardest workers so it wasn’t a surprise to see him chopping firewood in the beaming sun. He didn’t seem bothered by the heat but his hair stuck to his face or forehead with every swing. He would rake his hair out of his face only to do it again after chopping another piece of wood. A small huff left your lips, finding it a little funny how repetitive it was getting. But soon your eyes reverted to your lap, fixating on your journal and writing. For a handful of minutes that's where you remained. On long days when you were out with the gang, you were writing about your previous days if the events were worth writing about to help pass the time.

“You busy?”

That all too familiar husky and low voice pulling your attention away from your writing. Charles stood over you, his chest lightly heaving from the heat and his hands resting on his hips. Though his expression remained neutral like always, it was clear the heat was getting to him. He’s been up early either carving or tending to chores but the heat today tired him out quickly. You closed your journal and pushed it aside. Curious as to what he wanted.

“No, Do you need something?”

“You mind braiding my hair?”

You of all people knew that he was more than capable of braiding his hair, you’ve seen him doing it many times so it did catch you off guard. From the few months you’ve known him you also admired how well he cared for his hair. You knew part of that reasoning was his native roots, you did the same. Your hair was an important part of you physically, mentally, and spiritually. Which would explain why he asked you of all people to do such a thing for him. He could’ve done it himself, but seeing how well you not only braided your hair but the other girl's hair in camp led him to trust you enough to do his hair. But to you, you just thought he was too tired to do it. Yet you wouldn’t complain. Secretly you’ve wanted to braid his hair but kept it to yourself. With a soft smile, you nodded.

“I don’t mind, c’mon then.”

You said to him as you patted the patch of grass in front of you so he could sit. While you grabbed your portable comb from your satchel he sat in front of you, crossing his legs and waiting for you. Even while sitting down he loomed over you so you sat up, now kneeling behind him.  

“One or two braids?”

“Just one.”

You nodded and then started to prep his hair. With a gentle hand, you raked your comb down his hair. As you expected his hair was soft and silky to the touch. Your comb gilded through his hair with ease, a soft and entranced look etched into your features as you went on. Charles remained still, tilting his head slightly back to make it easy for you. No one touched his hair beside him since he was young, so this experience was a little new but he did enjoy it. A minute longer of comfortable silence passed before you started the braiding process. You parted his hair into 3 sections and began to braid, starting at the base of his neck and slowly making your way down. The process was slow but in a good way, making sure each of your movements was taken with care. Though you couldn’t see his face his expression grew calmer. He hadn’t had anyone braid his hair in years so the gesture brought back memories from his childhood. How his mother would braid his hair every morning and tell him the importance of it. The way she’d carefully put handmade charms in his hair, how she’d smile at him after she did his hair, and tell him how handsome he was with a soft kiss on his forehead. The more the memories played in his head the more somber his expression grew. It was unnoticeable unless you knew him well enough. His eyes held a sense of longing in them as he sat there quietly.  Feeling a mix of sadness and comfort while you continue doing his hair. The last thing he expected was this wave of emotions but he didn’t mind it. All the times he thought of his mother there was a small sense of distance in the memories, however right now, he felt a newfound closeness with her. Like she was once again braiding his hair. His shoulders slumped slightly as he relaxed into your touch. The faintest of smiles on his lips while old family memories, ones he often had trouble remembering, played vividly like a screenplay in his mind. Not much else changed in his expression but he could feel breaths grow deep with relief. But they were soon cut short due to you. You finally finished his braid, tying the end of it with a small yet proud smile.

“There, all done. Turn around real quick.”

You said to him as you sat back down to give your knees a break. You leaned against one of your hands and moved forward slightly, trying to get a better look at him. He blinked a few times as your voice brought him back to reality, not really catching what you said. He turned to look at you, about to ask what you said but the look on your face caught him off guard. A soft look in your eyes and a small smirk on your face. You nodded then smiled more, approving how the braid looked. That proud feeling only grew from how nice he looked. 

“Looks good, I’m done now.”

He couldn’t quite explain it but hearing you say that and look at him like that reminded him of his mother once more. He took a short pause, looking at you with an unreadable expression but for a brief moment, you caught a soft galance from him. His eyes glinted with a hint of warmth in them. Soon after that, he gave you a soft half-smile and patted your shoulder. Giving it a gentle squeeze in appreciation.

“Thank you.”

Was all he said but genuine scenery was laced in his voice. You nodded and placed your hand on his briefly. You both exchanged eye contact for a few seconds longer before he pulled his hand back and stood up. He headed back into camp to tend to more chores while you went back to writing. Both of you could agree that this simple favor was nie, him feeling a deeper level of appreciation towards you. He couldn’t shake those emotions he felt just yet, still vividly remembering the special moments like that with his mother. At first, this was only supposed to be a one-time thing but after that, he had a feeling he’d eventually ask you to do that for him again, maybe even return the favor one day. 

[cloudyyoimiya]

Their S/o Learns Their Mother Tongue Headcanons and Scenario; Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Nikolai Gogol

Disclaimer: I don’t speak Russian! I had to use a website to write some of the dialogue, so I’m sorry if it seems stiff or grammatically incorrect to those who speak Russian.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Fyodor, as well all know, would call you pet names in Russian. So one day you took it upon yourself to learn a little bit of Russian to tease him. You made sure that each time you’d go to study, Fyodor was already out of the house or sleeping. It’s no fun to spoil a surprise!

Every night you’d dedicate a few hours in learning Russian. It was a struggle, but you managed. Some of it was a hassle to learn though.

Eventually you learned enough to hold a simple conversation You weren’t entirely fluent, but you knew that you’d continue to learn the language until you were.

Fyodor of course already knew that you were learning his mother tongue behind his back. Sometimes while he was falling asleep he’d hear you trying to pronounce the most random words in Russian, or maybe he’d hear you scribbling away in a journal you hid that held sentences in Russian.

He wouldn’t be surprised by you randomly speaking in his native language one day, but he’d appreciate the time and effort you put in to learn the language.

One day when Fyodor got home, you decided to test out your skills.

Scenario…

Fyodor has just gotten home from work, and he looked exhausted. He had slight eye bags, and his posture was slightly worse than usual. He has looked worse in the past, but nonetheless he looked tired. You almost didn’t want to tease him in this state, but as they say, the show much go on!

You closed your book and got up to greet Fyodor with a small smile. “Zdravstvuyte dorogaya (Hello dear).”

“Hello, Milaya,” he said, completely unfazed.

You knew that he wouldn’t be shocked or anything of the sort when you started to learn Russian, so you decided to continue to show off your skills. You were quite proud of yourself considering Russian is a hard language to learn.

“Kak proshel vash den'? (How was your day?)” You asked.

“It was quite alright, how about yours?”

“Eto bylo khorosho! YA nachala chitat' novuyu knigu. (It was good! I started to read a new book.),” you said with a smile on your face.

“Is that so? You’ll have to tell me about it.”

“Mozhet byt', zavtra (Maybe tomorrow),” you smiled. “Ty vyglyadish' ustaloy... Tebe nuzhno poskoreye lech' spat' (You look tired… You need to go to bed soon.)”

Fyodor kissed your forehead. “I will soon, my love.”

“Khorosho (Good).”

Fyodor went to your shared bedroom and started to get ready for bed. While he was doing that, you sat back down in your chair and picked up where you left off on your book. By the time Fyodor had come back out, you had made it through half of a chapter. You placed your bookmark into the crease of the book, then set it down once more.

Fyodor decided to sit down right next to you with a barely noticeable smirk on his face. Your boyfriend then got comfortable by pulling a blanket up to his lap. Then after that, oh so slowly, he turned to you and whispered in your ear.

“Your accent is very heavy. You need to work on that.”

You blushed then looked away. “Yeah, alright.”

Nikolai Gogol

Sometimes Nikolai would only speak to you in Russian the whole day as a “prank”. This event was pretty rare, but it still happened nonetheless. You decided to take it upon yourself to learn Russian so you could understand what he was saying and tease him back.

Boy, you were in for a wild ride.

You struggled to keep your studies a secret since Nikolai would magically appear beside you out of thin air. One minute he would be out on a mission then the next he was walking in your hallways with a large smile on his face.

Because of this, you decided it would be best to learn Russian while he was sleeping, or when he was out on a mission where you were sure that he’d be gone for a least a few days.

You’d stay up late at night to practice writing the language and to attempt to pronounce words. It was a struggle to keep your voice down, but once you got the hang of it you excelled in your lessons. You were happy.

You had learned quite a lot of Russian before Nikolai had decided to play that “prank” on you again. He had started to speak Russian in the early morning, and you were excited to test out your skills.

Scenario…

You woke up to a pair of arms wrapping around your waist. With a groggy groan, you turned over onto your side only to see Nikolai sleepily smiling at you. You blinked a few times before cuddling him back.

“Good morning,” you said after a small yawn.

“Dobroye utro, moya golubka. (Good morning, my dove),” he said, squeezing you tightly.

“Ty ser'yezno Nikolay? Segodnya? Ser'yezno? (Ugh, are you serious Nikolai? Today? Really?),” you asked while desperately trying to maintain a poker face.

“Da, segodnya! Pochemu by i net?! (Why yes today! Why not?!).” He paused for a moment. “...Podozhdi minutku. Chto-to ne tak... (…Wait a minute. Something seems off…).”

“Chto ty imeyesh' v vidu? (What ever do you mean?)” You asked with a goofy smile starting to spread across your face.

Nikolai squinted his eyes, thinking for a moment. Once he finally realized what you were doing, he let out a boisterous laugh. You slightly flinched at the volume of his laughing since it was the early morning, but you didn’t mind. In fact you were happy that you were able to make him happy at such an early hour of the day.

Nikolai looked at you with a large smile on his face as he sprung up from laying down. Now he was sitting down on your shared bed as he looked down at you.

“You took the time out of your day to learn a new language for me?!” He asked excitedly.

You hoisted yourself up to sit on the bed as well. “Of course I did!” You yawned. “I wanted to see how’d react when I actually responded to one of your ‘pranks’ that you love oh so much.”

Nikolai tackled you into a tight hug. You almost felt as if you were about to suffocate because of how hard he was squeezing you.

“Ah, you’re so kind to me, my little dove!” He said as he loosened the hug. “I love you so much.”

You patted his back as you smiled. “I love you too.”

a little too late i realized that people from ukraine speak ukrainian. i know the real author that inspired nikolai was a russian author that was born in ukraine, but still. one day i’ll attempt to fix nikolai’s bit, but until then i apologize for the inaccuracy!

i myself am learning german so i know how awful (fun-ish) it is to learn a new language

anyways, requests are open!!

[gnreadergames]

Weird Science

Egon Spengler x Named FTM!Male Oc

Content warnings: Some sexual tension leading into non-graphic sexual content, mostly sickeningly sweet shit, Egon’s a lil crazy, Alex likes em cooky, doctor kink?? Is that a thing? Idk, either way a PHD title is used in a way no one should use a PHD title. Unless they are freaks like me :3

A/N: Crawling out of my hole I’ve been in for *checks watch* like almost a year to bring you this. I have no excuses guys I just rewatched my favorite movie and wanted to fuck the science man again. Super self indulgent, also for my trans readers because I’ve noticed a lot of yall thirsting after this man are trans. Congratulations my niche little subjects, here’s some food.

Word count: 13,971. - Yes you read that right. I just really wanted to write some gooey porn about the science man okay?

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Egon Spengler sat alone in the firehouse, surrounded by the various specimen he had collected from a bust and the various machines created to catch and contain ghosts. He had just finished running diagnostics on the Proton Packs, fixing a bug that Peter had showed him on his, and was in the process of cataloging and tagging some new samples he had collected on their last bust of a succubus in a hotel.

Alex was quiet about accessing the stairs. The door to the bottom always squeaked but he made sure to pull it open extra slowly this time, and somehow successfully managed to make it all the way up to the top of the 2nd floor completely silently. Egon was perched at the main table in the kitchen up top. Its circular surface was covered with bagged petri-dishes, spore samples, and various robotic gadgets he guessed were for ghost hunting. He deftly approached from behind.

Egon’s head was down, nose intently tucked into whatever journal he was writing in now as Alex tiptoed up behind him and every so suddenly crouched down beside him to ear level and said, in a level inside voice, ‘Whatcha’ up to Spengs’?”.

Egon startled. It was Alex. It was rare for anyone to just come up behind him at the firehouse, but given recent events, he wasn't really surprised. He put down his pen, looking to get a better look at Alex.

"Hm? Oh, just going over the findings from our last bust. And the latest samples. It's all pretty...standard stuff, really. Nothing worth getting excited about."

“Yeah? Thought molds spores and fungi were your type of fun, guy-“ Alex laughed a little at his own joke, hand brushing the back of the chair and inadvertently brushing ever so briefly against Egon’s bare neck. Alex blushed slightly and hoped Egon was too focused to have noticed as he took a seat next to him.

Egon glanced up from his notes. Despite Alex making his presence very obvious, Egon had been so engrossed in his work that he barely noticed. Now, he was caught, and clearly flustered.

"Right. It's not that this sort of stuff isn't interesting. It's just..." He paused, trying to come up with the right words. "It's less exciting than seeing ghosts, you know? There's much less danger to it."

Alex cocked his head, curious. ”So is that why you do it?” He asked.

He thought for a moment, considering how to answer this question.

"In a sense, I suppose. There is always the hope that when I'm out investigating, I might encounter something truly new. Something unexpected and unpredictable. Something that could turn the whole study of ghosts on its head. And believe me, it's been a long time since we've had a true breakthrough in ghost related research."

“Is it the danger or is it the superiority? The control?” Alex blurted out without really thinking. When he realized what he said and how odd of a question it was “I just mean…” he stammered, “Do you think you like the danger, or do you like being in control? Do you like feeling powerful over the ghosts? Do you like the chase and the win? Kinda like a game…” Alex mumbled off, blushing. He felt like he only further incriminated himself into his line of thinking.

Egon laughed quietly. Clearly he wasn't offended by the question, even if it was a rather strange one. He was also more than a little intrigued.

"There is certainly an element of control, I must admit. I do like to think that I know what I'm doing out there." He paused, still smiling. "But at the same time, I'm also just as much at the mercy of the ghosts. There's always a certain...risk that I think I enjoy."

“Hm. You work in interesting ways ‘Spengs…” Alex hummed thoughtfully. His posture became a little more relaxed as he rested forward, chin on his elbow watching Egon tag samples and hum along to a janky radio he had sitting on an adjacent counter of the kitchen.

"Doctor Spengler, if you don't mind," Egon corrected, his tone only half-joking.

He glanced back down at his notes, making a few more small adjustments before finally setting the pen down.

"So you just...came over here to bother me while I work?"

“Mostly. It is my favorite pastime as you know.” Alex smirked, almost cat-like. Egon rolled his eyes, he knew the gentle teasing Alex put him through.

“Also, Doctor Spengler? What am I, one of your patients? Or do you just get a kick out of making people call you that?” Alex teased again, this time dropping his voice a little in a lusty tone that made him laugh trying to get it out in one piece.

Egon smirked, rolling his eyes in return. Alex's teasing was one of the things he actually did kind of enjoy.

”The latter, if I'm being perfectly honest. Not that I'll ever admit it."

He crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.

"But you have to admit, Doctor is a much nicer title than Mr. Or even Professor. That title's always been a little too pretentious for its own good," he continued to banter.

I like Mr. in…” Alex paused, looking pensively upwards, “certain contexts. Like if you were to get married. Mr. And Mrs. Or er, Mr. And Mr…” Alex said casually. He hadn’t formally come out to Egon but he knew Venkman’s little vermin hands had background checked him enough to know his dating preferences already and his gender. And to be fully honest, he liked Egon more than anybody else here, even if he’d only admit it under extreme duress, or maybe too much alcohol.

So he deserved to know.

Or maybe Alex was a little desperate to share practically anything about himself in hopes of getting closer to the other man.

Egon's eyebrow raised slightly, hearing this. Alex hadn't come out to him directly, but this felt pretty obvious. It wasn't an issue to Egon anyway, but he was curious to know now.

"Alex...are you telling me you're interested in...men?"

He cleared his throat, his tone a bit nervous. He wasn't sure how to react.

“Oh-“ Alex hadn’t expected Egon to ask him so directly. But then again, he never was one for taking hints. “Yeah, I am.”

His face was redder than usual and it was obvious Egon’s bluntness had caught him slightly off guard and flustered him.

“I hope that isn’t a problem with you. I really like…spending time with you Egon.” Alex said. He wanted to leave it vague, for now at least. He didn’t even know if Egon was into men, let alone if Egon considered him a friend let alone a potential romantic interest. He didn’t want to jump the guns too fast here.

Egon looked at him, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Alex...I have no problem with it. I'm very happy to spend time with you as well. I just...wasn't expecting you to say that."

For a moment, he seemed like he was going to say something more. But he held back, thinking better of it, clearly not sure what to actually say right now.

"Just didn't have you pegged as one who...preferred men's company."

“Oh really?” Alex laughed, he could lighten the mood up a bit hopefully. “What did you have me pegged for then, ‘Spengs?” he asked, leaning forward on his elbows curiously.

Egon laughed quietly as well.

"Well, you seem like you'd have an eye for the ladies." He grinned, still in an obviously good-natured way. "If you're into guys, then you're not exactly...what I would call 'typically gay' looking."

“Well…thanks?” Alex laughed. “I’m into women too, so I guess I would be in the middle of whatever spectrum you’re thinking of.”

He crumpled up a loose straw wrapper from Egon’s ginger ale and started to flick it back and forth between his fingers, nervously.

Egon nodded. He didn't seem all that surprised by this; if anything he had always got the sense that Alex was at least a little bit bi-curious, given some of the conversations they'd had.

"Right. The ol' 'bisexual' thing." He joked.

Suddenly he looked at Alex again, with an expression of sudden realization.

"Wait. Wait a minute. Are you...are you saying..."

His eyes widened slightly.

“What? Not so blunt now Egon?” Alex questioned.

“Are you...hitting on me?”

Egon looked at him, and this time his tone seemed to be one of genuine curiosity, mixed with amusement.

“Who said anything about hitting on you? Just thought you should know.” Alex was very clearly red around the apples of his cheeks and ears. He was at least embarrassed, if not caught.

Egon felt something warm and vulnerable flutter underneath one of his ribs. He swallowed.

Alex was stubborn and obviously determined not to be caught this fast in this little game they had been playing, the roughly 3 weeks of back and forth bantering, the casual drink after work when everyone else had already left, and of course, decidedly ignoring whatever happened after the attack on New York when he saw Egon exit the building safely, if not covered in goo.

Even though he, and he’s pretty sure Egon too, both remember it, neither of them have brought it up in a serious manner.

Egon laughed quietly, shaking his head. He was surprised sure, but he certainly wasn't upset. If anything, the opposite.

They were alone together, no one to hear or see anything. No one to interrupt them. Egon took a deep breath.

"Okay. I'll be honest," he said, looking Alex directly in the eye. "If you were trying to get me to figure out you're interested in me, then that definitely did the trick."

Alex smiled. It was different from his usually sly cat-like grin. This time, it was a softer, less slick looking smile with some genuine warmth behind it.

“And why would somebody as astute as the doctor Egon Spengler care about such a thing?” Alex asked, feigning being coy.

Egon had to laugh at that, shaking his head. Alex was a lot of things, but one thing he most certainly was not was subtle.

"I care because..." he paused, his smile becoming a bit broader. Despite their teasing back and forth, he was suddenly being completely genuine.

"Actually, this is probably pretty obvious, but..." He let the rest go unsaid for a moment. He didn't know what he wanted to come next. If he actually wanted to stay casual, or if he wanted more.

Alex swallowed audibly with how quiet the room had gotten suddenly.

“Egon….do you….like me?” Alex asked softly. He felt like he was dreaming, like he would wake up at any moment and this would all have been some fevered imagination of a sickly brain, a brain obsessed with this gorgeous brainiac.

Egon's face was a shade of pink now...a very noticeable pink. He shifted in his seat, clearly a bit flustered.

"I..." he said quietly. "...yes." He raised his hands up slightly, as if trying to steady himself.

"I mean...if you're okay with what that means and all that...is it...alright if I'm honest with you?"

“Please” Alex begged, voice wavering. He wanted this so much he didn’t know how to ask with words. He had practiced this scenario a thousand times over in his head as he tried to fall asleep night after night and still, he didn’t know how to respond to this. “Be honest.”

Egon swallowed, trying to gather his thoughts and his breath.

"Okay...well...I...I don't think I could have made it through the last few months without you." His words came out in spurts, each sentence broken up by pauses as he lost himself in his thoughts.

"There's always been something about you. Something I've found...really irresistible. Your mind, your energy...your...your...ahem...your...um...your...looks" He smirked softly as he finished that last sentence.

Alex flushed bright red.

Up until 10 minutes ago he had doubts the doctor even had the capabilities to be attracted to anybody, much less a man, and to hear that he had potentially been being discreetly checked out around the office made a slight sweat break out under his collared shirt and tie.

Not that he hadn’t been doing the same thing to Egon a few times when he worked… who can blame him? He flushed even harder thinking about one specific time and broke eye contact, embarrassed.

Egon couldn't help but chuckle at this. He could tell that he'd caught a very sensitive nerve. A grin spread across his face as he shook his head, still laughing a bit.

"God you're cute when you get like this," Egon said, almost teasingly.

His tone became more serious again, as he leaned forward a bit closer towards Alex.

"Can I ask you something?"

“Y-“ Alex had to swallow, mouth suddenly becoming dry as Egon leaned ever closer. “Yeah.” His eyes couldn’t look anywhere by Egon now, and he was sure his face was visibly red by now if it wasn’t before.

Egon took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say.

"Before, you said you hadn't formally told me...about...your preferences. Was there a specific reason for this? Because I'd like to know if..."

He stopped there, looking into Alex's warm brown eyes. He took another deep breath.

"Was it because you weren't sure about my preferences?"

Alex caught a nervous laugh. He didn’t want Egon to think he was laughing at him, he was just so relieved they might possibly be on the same page and that this wasn’t another time Alex would be head over heels for another guy that would leave him the first chance he got a hotter woman to look at him.

“Yeah…I was just… curious is all.” Alex looked down at the floor, nervous and a bit embarrassed to be that easy to read. “Took you long enough…I think the others were starting to think I was just weird.”

Egon smirked, letting out an amused sigh.

"Well, they're not necessarily...wrong about that." He said, teasingly as always. But it was clear that he didn't mean it in an offensive way.

When Alex said he was curious, Egon understood. He had always wondered why Alex had never talked much about personal subjects like that. He was starting to see why now.

"Right. Well, I think it's my turn to be honest, yeah?"

“I think it is, doctor.” Alex teased back. Now that he knew Egon liked using that little word he was going to be sure to make it difficult. Especially if this conversation was going the way he thought it was.

Egon grinned, playing along for now.

"Okay. My turn to be honest, then."

He looked at Alex, his expression more serious again.

"I'm still confused on one thing, though. Can I ask you a personal question?"

”Go ahead” Alex said. He supposed he could be honest about it all now since he’d been pretty much found out.

Egon breathed. "Alright. I can't help but notice that after every time we have a bust, something happens between us...how do I say this? More than before. Have you ever...noticed that too?”

Egon paused to take a deep breath, still holding his eye contact. This was the moment of truth. He'd known that for some time now, the two of them were beginning to develop feelings for each other. But he'd held back, not wanting to push it too fast. But now he couldn't hold back anymore. He needed to know if Alex had noticed too.

”I’ve…” Alex had to choose his words carefully. “I’ve noticed it too. When I started working here last year…” Alex shifted nervously and then suddenly became more serious, sitting up and placing his hands on the table. “When I started working here last year I didn’t think much about it. It was supposed to just be a stepping stone to bigger things, being the Ghostbusters official PR manager is nothing to sneeze at and I thought if I just hung out here long enough I could get a job somewhere on Wall Street, bigger things, better pay…” Alex swallowed. “But then I started to like hanging out with you guys. And then we became friends, and suddenly it became a lot harder to see it as just a job. And then after…well to be honest right before the New York attack, that night you walked me home after we were the last two here, I think I sort of thought about you differently than the rest of them.”

Alex didn’t know how to explain it, it was difficult putting it into words. “I think I realized I cared about you more. In a different way I mean. Sure I’m friends with Venkmen and Stanz and Zeddemore, but I didn’t see you like I saw them. I wanted to get to know you more, I knew it when I said goodnight to you and it was snowing on my doorstep. And you smiled at me. I think I knew then. And then of course right after that big attack happened and I thought for sure you were dead, we had no clue how anything was going to play out and I just remembered feeling like I could die of happiness seeing you walk out of that building, and…I guess before I knew it I was already moving to you. I don’t really know why I hugged you, I was just…glad you were okay. I was glad I hadn’t missed my chance with you, I guess. I hadn’t realized how special you were to me.”

Egon's eyes were locked on Alex's every breath, every word. It was like he was seeing him in an entirely different light right now. They'd flirted and teased back and forth before, but everything here sounded so much more genuine and sincere. Like they weren't even playing a game anymore, they were being very real with each other. It was a beautiful thing.

Egon swallowed, his heart pounding inside his chest. He felt like...like this was it.

"Can I be honest with you about something, too?"

“Anything.” Alex breathed. He felt like he was going to explode admitting all of that.

Egon swallowed, his heart pounding even faster. Just like Alex he was ready to explode. But he had to get this off his chest. Now that they'd started, he couldn't think of a reason to stop.

"I've never...I've never felt the way about anyone before the way that I feel about you. I didn't even realize it at first but I've been..." He couldn't believe he was saying all this. "...I've been thinking about you a lot. Too damn much of the time, actually."

Alex smiled, giddy and carefree. He felt a little dizzy with nerves.

“Really?” He breathed, excitedly. “I’m so glad. I can’t stop thinking about you, I felt like I was going crazy. I think even Venkman picked up on it this past month when you went on that blind date Stanz set you up on.”

Egon chuckled, a wide grin on his face.

"Yeah...can't say it was a successful date."

He thought back to the disaster of a date he'd been set up with a few weeks ago. It was pretty damn clear to even Venkman. So maybe they were a little more transparent than they should have been with their feelings of late towards their friend’s attempts to set them up with other people.

"I feel stupid for letting it take this long to acknowledge any of this."

“Maybe we’re both stupid.” Alex thought, dumbly. But he couldn’t let anything dampen his mood right now. He felt like he was floating, almost drunk with happiness.

“So Mr. Scientist,” he said, balancing his chin on his hand and reaching an index finger to fiddle around with the lid of an empty Petri dish in front of him, “tell me about what you think about me. What’s been on that big brain of yours?” He purred.

Egon felt his heart skip a beat when Alex started flirting with him. He wasn't used to it, but he really liked it. What he liked even more was the idea that someone as brilliant and attractive as Alex thought this way about him.

Egon chuckled, his lips curling up into a smirk. "You want me to be honest about what I think about you?"

“Honesty is the best policy” Alex nodded, intrigued.

"Yeah...yeah it definitely is." Egon leaned forward, his gaze even more intense than before.

"I think you're absolutely brilliant. Not just in terms of your science...but your mind itself. That sharp, witty mind of yours is such a...turn on." His smirk became a bit more mischievous as he spoke. "I love it when you try to outwit a person in conversation, when you get all riled up and competitive.... I love even more that I've never seen you lose."

“You have such a way with your stupid words.” Alex giggled. He was sure he was making a fool of himself but he couldn’t believe somebody like the Egon Spengler found him attractive. He could count on one hand the times he’d been this lucky in his entire life.

“You really know how to flatter a guy,” Alex admitted, tracing the rim of the Petri dish with the same finger absentmindedly.

Egon smiled, chuckling at that, but not denying the accuracy.

"I wasn't kidding when I said your mind turns me on."

He leaned in even closer, his gaze burning into Alex's. He looked at the way Alex was tracing the rim of his empty petri dish and had an idea.

"I have a suggestion..."

“Shoot.” Alex said, sharpening the ‘T’ sound, almost bitingly.

Egon swallowed, almost nervous looking. But he thought this would be the perfect way to test the waters, to see just how interested Alex really was before he took it a step further.

"Close your eyes..."

“Okay.” Alex said, cautiously but trusting. He knew Egon wouldn’t hurt him and if anything, not knowing what was coming next and being completely at the will of the other man kind of made him feel safe. It was nice. It made his heart race a little.

He shut his eyes gently, waiting.

Egon smirked, enjoying the game he was playing. He stood up, and slowly started moving behind Alex, his movements very subtle and patient. When he got behind him, he took the same index finger that Alex had been tracing the edge of the Petri dish with and ran it softly, delicately over the back of Alex's neck, sliding it into his hair and slowly running it through.

Alex shivered at the touch.

Christ.

Okay.

He hadn’t been expecting this. Egon wasn’t a touchy person, not even in the throes of victory, so this was new, and honestly thrilling for Alex.

“Egon…” Alex practically purred, keening towards the touch. He liked it. He liked it a lot.

Egon smiled, pleased with the way Alex reacted to it. He decided to go a step further, and slowly, still using only his one index finger, started stroking Alex's hair down his neck, and eventually down his shoulders as he continued to trace a line down Alex's back.

Alex shivered and twitched with every vertebrae that Egon ran his finger past.

“This another one of your experiments, doctor?” Alex teased with a voice lower and slower than normal, but this time the air was thicker with something unspoken and unseen. But it could be very, very felt. Distantly, Alex was glad everyone else had taken this Saturday off.

Egon smirked. He loved that he was making Alex squirm, that he was clearly enjoying this so much. Alex's lower and slower voice made his chest tremble with a mix of emotion. A mix of excitement and fear. He was enjoying this, this flirtatious back and forth, but now he was feeling more daring…

"No experiment...this is something...much more personal."

“And what exactly are you testing here?” Alex asked. He still hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but now he thought he couldn’t bear not being able to see Egon for a second longer. He opened his eyes, and titled his head slightly back and was met with an angled view of his affections.

His heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t expecting Egon to look anything less than well…perfect. But this was new. Egon’s once soft brown eyes looked almost black with how dilated his pupils were, and his olive completion was a richer red tone around his face and ears. He may be more cognitively in control of the situation, but it was good to see that he was just as affected by Alex as he was by Egon.

Egon smirked and stepped even closer, their mouths finally just inches away from one another. He watched as the corners of Alex's lips quivered ever so slightly, and he couldn't help but feel a wave of joy sweep over him.

"My test..." Egon's voice was lower, and more seductive than ever. "...is to see exactly how far I can push it before you can't take it anymore."

As he spoke, he leaned just a tiny bit closer. Their lips were almost touching…

“Egon,” Alex’s voice was barely a whisper but it somehow only came out as a strung out whimper. He titled his head back ever so slightly more and he felt Egon’s breath hot on his lips.

Alex would beg for mercy if he had to. He just wanted Egon. He was so happy he could cry. His entire body felt like it was vibrating with how wired and nervous he was.

Egon knew at this point he couldn't hold back anymore. It was obvious he was just as nervous as Alex was. And in this intense moment, he needed to let him know that. His hands fell to Alex's shoulders and he pulled him even closer, so their chests were pressing sharply up against one another.

Egon's voice was lower than the lowest, as he began to whisper right back.

"God do you know how badly I want you, right now? What I would do to you if I could right this second?"

Alex’s head spun. Who was this? His Egon was quiet and professional, but he couldn’t deny that he hadn’t thought of this side of Egon, better said, dreamed of Egon having a side like this. He knew Egon was a man of control, and rules, but he also knew Egon, like every man, had buttons.

And buttons, could be pressed.

“We’re alone for the day.” Alex reminded. Egon was so close their foreheads were pressed together. Eyes locked.

Egon froze at that, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. He felt Alex's body pressed up against him, his heart pounding in his ears. His lips were mere centimeters apart, now. And he was suddenly hit with a wave of...nerve? Fear? Excitement?

Finally, Egon's mind won the war within.

"God damn it, it's taking every ounce of self control I have right now not to just start ripping you apart with my teeth..." he said, eyes darker than before.

Oh.

A little crazy.

Alex could work with a little crazy.

“Please-” let it never be said that Alex was above begging, because he wasn’t. Especially not for Egon. He would beg for Egon to call him worthless and pathetic. He would beg for Egon to spit on him. Egon being nice to him? Practically as strong as cocaine straight to the brain.

Alex leaned forward and clumsily brushed his lips against Egon’s for a mere second before pulling back, mouth slightly open, eyes lidded. He wanted Egon to want this as much as him. He wanted Egon to want him.

Egon stared into Alex's eyes, his heart racing a thousand miles a minute. Just seeing Alex's lips meet his, even for just one brief contact, sent a jolt of pure euphoria through his entire body. He'd never realized just how much he'd wanted this...how much he'd wanted Alex, until this very moment.

Finally, he did it. Before he had a chance to second guess his actions, Egon let his instincts take over. He leaned forward and pulled Alex back into him with one firm and quick motion. He then proceeded to take over this kiss…

Alex gasped into the kiss. He wasn’t expecting Egon to be this rough, but he guessed there was a certain aspect of desperation on both of their ends. Egon felt like he was devouring him. Alex’s knees felt like they were going to buckle, and he was lowering slowly, slowly, with pathetic little noises as Egon kissed the breath out of him.

He broke for a second, as Egon leaned over him, pushing his back into the chair, legs straddling it weakly. “Eg-“ he gasped as Egon went in for another kiss, just as hungry as the last. Alex broke away again, more determinedly “I’ve wanted this for so long. So, so, long…” his legs still weak, he leaned into Egon’s chest and arms, holding him.

Egon was in almost as much of a stupor as Alex, that little bit he'd tasted of him before had sent his heart soaring to new heights. His whole body felt alive, every single nerve. He couldn't believe how much he had wanted this, how badly he'd want to take it even further. But right now, was just the two of them, alone, the downstairs door locked.

As Alex spoke, Egon squeezed him harder by instinct alone. It was only making him yearn for much, much more…

“How long?” Alex asked between kisses. His right knee gave out and he felt Egon pull away. He made a weak noise of protest as Egon’s body pulled from his, until he realized he was being pulled with it and spun around. Suddenly, he found himself being picked up by the hips and sat gingerly and quickly onto the edge of the table, legs straddled and Egon standing in between. He kissed Alex again, tongue slipping into his mouth. He obviously didn’t seem content with the position though, too far, as he broke apart again soon after to grab Alex’s hips and yank him toward Egon’s standing ones, legs locking behind his back.

“Since when?” Alex asked again. “When did you know?” He felt drunk as Egon moved to kiss his jawline.

Egon smirked when he realized what Alex was actually asking him. To have someone this sharp, this witty being so...weak in your hands was an incredibly intoxicating experience. But the time to pick was over, now was all about play.

"God I don't know...it's been a while." Egon moved back in to capture Alex's mouth once again, holding onto his hips for dear life. "Since I started to want to see the sides of you that weren't professional, that weren't strictly business...I wanted to see exactly how human you could be."

“I’ve wanted you since that day in January. The one where we had the poltergeist in the-ah!” Alex winced as Egon moved to his neck and bit at a sensitive spot just under his ear, soft tender flesh. “S-since, that day- when- when you came back to the lab in your- your lab clothes all-” Alex’s left hand, the stronger of the two, came up to grasp at the dress shirt stretched over Egon’s back, “and th-they were all singed and dusty, and you were covered in- mmhp- sweat, and you didn’t even look at me when you-you” Egon kissed Alex to shut him up briefly, and for a moment there was nothing but the noise of soft, labored breathing and the creaking of the wooden table as they pressed against one another, but eventually Egon let him go in favor of biting at his neck again. “You- you didn’t even look at me, just rolled, rolled up your sleeves and went to work in your lab. All serious, brow furrowed, covered in grime but still wanting to get data while- ah- it’s fresh-“ Alex smiled remembering it. He still felt fuzzy and the memory was still fresh. “You’re incredibly toned for a scientist did- did you know that?” Alex asked in a breathy voice. “You have a great- great body.”

Egon huffed a laugh against his neck.

Egon couldn't help but feel his ego inflate and his cheek turn red from Alex's compliment. He'd never considered just how toned his body was, especially with his lack of exercise and all his nerdy, intellectual pursuits. As Alex rambled on, Egon couldn't help but get more turned on.

He smirked as he bit down on Alex's neck again and felt his lips twitch against it, as if Alex was moaning.

"I think you might be the first person in a while who's actually taken the time to notice..."

“How could I not?” Alex asked. Egon had momentarily paused his nipping and chewing to lift his head and look up at Alex. His big, dark eyes were even darker than usual and it was hard to see where his pupil and iris even separated.

He looked, almost animal with it.

Alex had never seen a not very methodically, almost scientifically, controlled side of Egon. This made some part of Alex’s hindbrain flicker with a warmth he had only felt on lonely nights he spent fantasizing with his own hand and brain.

Egon smirked and tilted his head up as he looked at Alex's face, that perfect, beautiful, wonderful face that had eluded him and teased him for so long. He just couldn't get enough. Every part of his body was tingling with pleasure and desire. He wanted nothing more than to take Alex right here and right now.

"You look beautiful." Egon said it sincerely, truly believing every word of it. But then he leaned up and whispered, his voice a mischievous and enticing husk. "I'm going to make you even more beautiful..."

Alex complied limply. Whatever Egon wanted. Alex felt himself slipping quietly under into that mindset he loved so much. He didn’t need control. He trusted Egon. Whatever he wanted. He knew best. He wanted to make him proud. He wanted to do whatever would make Egon happy.

Alex reached his neck desperately towards Egon and caught one last desperate kiss with a small sound before he finally gave in and let Egon do whatever he wished.

As he watched Alex willingly yield to him, Egon couldn't help but smirk. The look on his face was just as he pictured: submissive, trusting, almost worshiping. He couldn't wait to push the limits of this power and see just how desperate his new lab assistant and lover was.

So Egon did just that, pushing Alex's shirt up and kissing his collarbone, slowly making his way up to his neck again. He bit and nibbled at his collar bone, all while rubbing his hands along Alex's back and hips.

“Ah!” Alex gasped. He was particularly sensitive on his hips, and once Egon knew, he used it devilishly. His thumb ran a steady back and forth rhythm over a ridge in his V-line, making Alex shiver. Another hand curled possessively over Alex’s back and made him preen with a particularly fiery feeling in his chest. Alex continued making weak and steady noises as Egon worked over his collarbone, biting and kissing everywhere he could reach, hands moving to grasp the skin he couldn’t cover with his mouth.

The power and the control that he was asserting over Alex was making Egon feel like he was in some kind of haze, like he was just floating around in a sea of bliss, a euphoric dream that he didn't want to ever end.

The way Alex reacted to his touch made his own heart skip a beat, hearing him make those soft little sounds as he nibbled just so slightly harder on his neck and collarbone. It was pushing all his buttons, making him want so much more…

“Please-” Alex begged, not entirely sure what exactly he was begging for. Whatever Egon would give him. Whatever Egon thought he deserved. Alex’s hands, at one point limp around Egon’s waist, now were clenched tightly into his shirt and his hair, respectively, as Alex’s body curled into Egon’s.

Egon shivered again as he heard Alex beg him, heard him pleading for more.

This was exactly what he had been dreaming of. A completely submissive Alex, one who would let Egon take control completely, one who would gladly turn over every inch of his body to Egon for...for whatever Egon wanted.

It was such a turn on that Egon couldn't even form whole sentences, his thoughts were getting the best of him and his body was ready to take...no, to take control.

“Whatever you want.” Alex wanted more. Whatever Egon would give him. He laid flat on the table as Egon pulled away and surveyed him quickly, eyes flitting across his body as a whole, flushed, shirt pushed up, hands clutching feverishly at the flat table finding nothing to grab on to.

Egon smirked, loving the look of desperation on Alex's face, knowing that he was completely and utterly at his mercy now. And as Egon looked over him, his eyes trailing up and down his body, it was like Alex's features became bolder, brighter, more handsome. He looked like a perfect specimen to him, to the point where Egon almost couldn't take his eyes off of him.

"I'm going to make your day today..."

“What are you going to do?” Alex asked, although he really didn’t need to know. He was okay with whatever. As long as Egon was happy with him, he’d do it.

Egon brushed a hand along the side of Alex’s stomach and Alex made a little hurt, punched out noise from his gut and curled into the touch, but it was gone almost as fast as it appeared.

"Just...just close your eyes for me and stay still for a minute." Egon's voice was heavy, and slightly out of breath. He was almost desperate himself, he needed this just as much as Alex, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make Alex want him and love him for the rest of his life.

Alex could almost physically feel Egon's desire in the air, his need for more, seeping off from him as it grew with every passing second. Egon's body was trembling, his breath quick and shallow.

”Okay…” Alex swallowed for the first time in a while, finding his mouth dry but his lips slick with spit. He felt slightly debauched, but he preened at the knowledge that it was Egon who made him this way. Only for Egon.

He sat patiently and waited for whatever Egon had next.

Egon watched as Alex closed his eyes, watching him with baited breath and a deep seated hunger his lips were practically quivering with desire. And as he watched, the hunger inside him only grew more intense.

Quickly, his hands traced along the top of Alex's body, down his sides, all the way down to his thighs, caressing and teasing his body, making sure there wasn't a single inch missed.

Alex whimpered. He felt crazed. Egon’s hands felt so large and warm, almost feverish. Everywhere he touched felt like it was melting. Alex was practically drunk off the feeling as he squirmed with every new press into tender flesh that Egon figured out could make him writhe.

Just the sound of Alex's squirms was enough for Egon to get worked up even more, each touch and each squeeze of his body had him trembling with desire, his body quivering with excitement, ready to explode out in a fit of sheer pleasure.

Egon's hands moved faster, his touches more firm. He was determined to tease every last ounce of sound out of him that he could.

“Please, enough teasing!” Alex begged. He was almost crying now. His heart has been racing this entire time. He still had one more secret to tell Egon and the longer the foreplay went on, the more nervous he got about telling him.

Hearing that voice break out in tears in response to his touches only sparked more hunger in Egon's chest, but when he heard the pleading come from Alex's mouth, that was enough to cause the last pieces of resistance to crumble. He had to. No more teasing, no more playing, this was the real deal. He needed him now.

"All right, yes, I will, just...just let me-" Egon said, but his words were cut short by his own mouth coming down hard against Alex's.

Alex moaned loudly. Perhaps the loudest one yet as Egon’s hands grabbed his hips and seared him against his pelvis firm. He could feel…a certain hardness against his leg as Egon’s tongue explored his mouth and practically stole his oxygen away.

Egon groaned into the kiss, the sound rumbling up from deep in his chest. He couldn't hold himself back much longer now, the only thing on his mind was getting more. More of this perfect body, more of the sound of his pleas and whimpers.

Egon's hand moved downwards, squeezing firmly and squeezing Alex tighter against him. It was all he could do to keep himself from pushing him down and taking what he wanted right then and there.

As Egon’s hand moved downward, Alex’s hand suddenly shot out and grabbed his wrist in a moment of blind panic and clarity. It shocked Alex as much as it did Egon and for a moment they both simply stared at one another, panting, flushed.

“Egon…Eg-I’m…” Alex started, trying to word something but seemingly choking on it. “I need to tell you something before…before we do anything else.” Alex’s heart was in his throat. He thought he wouldn’t even get past the admission of him being bisexual, he didn’t know how to breech this. “Egon…I’m transgender.” Alex swallowed, throat tight with want as much as it was with fear.

Egon froze, hand still in mid air when he heard the words coming out of Alex's mouth. His breathing stopped, his heart beating out of his chest, it was a miracle that he didn't fall off of the table he was sitting on. Egon just stared, his mind whirring a million miles a second, trying to process what Alex had just told him.

All movement stopped.

God.

God.

He’d ruined it.

Ruined it.

Alex’s face burned with embarrassment. He knew Egon wouldn’t want him after this. He just thought…he doesn’t know what he thought…that in some miracle Egon would accept him?

His face burns with more than embarrassment, with shame.

He gets ready for Egon to push off and potentially even hit him. For baiting him. For being…a freak.

"Say that again."

It wasn't the reply Alex expected. It wasn't words that expressed disgust or anger or shame, but something deeper- something that spoke volumes to the depth of his emotions for him. Egon was breathless, his mind a million miles a second, but the intensity of the words in his throat were only getting stronger. He needed to hear it one more time to make sure he wasn't just hearing things.

Alex swallowed.

“I’m…I’m transgender.” He said, voice barely above a whisper.

His hand gripped the table’s edge, he could reach it from where Egon had pulled him closer to his hips. He was sweating, both from being hot, so so hot, pressed up against Egon, but also from nerves and anxiety chewing at his gut.

Egon's stomach flipped, his heart racing as blood rushed to every inch of his body. His mind was completely overwhelmed by the news he was just told, and he felt the heat and the intensity growing inside him again. But this time it was mixed with something new, with a hunger that he's never experienced before.

"Just one question..." Egon asked, his voice thick and heavy with desire and love. His body was trembling with need now, his heart ready to explode into sparks and flames.

”Yeah?” Alex whimpered.

Egon reached forward, grabbing Alex's wrist, pulling him closer, almost into a hug so he could whisper something in his ear.

"Are you a man?"

”Yes” Alex squeezed his eyes shut and whispered. Egon was so close.

"That's all I care about."

Egon's breath was so hot and heavy as he spoke, it felt like his words were igniting the room. He finally let go of Alex's wrist, his body trembling uncontrollably as all the desire he felt before seemed to have reached its peak. He was ready to take him, to mold him into whatever shape he found most desirable.

Jesus.

Jesus.

Alex felt like he was going to pass out. Or die. Maybe both.

His head was practically spinning. Egon’s hands grabbed his hips harder and slid down, brushing the waistband of his pants slightly further, exposing his hips and the beginning of a small happy trail.

He could cry.

He was so happy.

He was crying he realized. Tears slipped from his eyes as Egon began biting at his collarbone again.

Egon was like a heat seeking missile, his mouth, his lips, his teeth moving to whatever place he could find that would generate the most response out of Alex. He couldn't get enough of him, his lips trailing down his neck, down to his shoulders, his hand caressing his hips as he slowly pulled him even closer so he could bite, and bite, and scratch, and maul, and love every inch of him like he was a starving animal after the meal that had been denied him for months on end.

”Egon-“ Alex whimpered. His hands clawed at the thin fabric stretched over Egon’s back. He had money to afford the expensive thick type, Alex knew exactly what he was getting paid, but he also knew Egon preferred practical. Something he loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to come back to the lab dripping in ectoplasm or singed with soot.

In fact, maybe now Alex would finally have an excuse to get all those ruined cheap shirts off him.

Alex kissed at Egon’s mouth when he could. Brief, wet, desperate kisses.

Egon's mind was filled with nothing but Alex now, the sweet sound of his cries, the feel of his fingernails digging into his back, the way his body fit so neatly against his own....he couldn't go back, he didn't want to, he didn't intend on letting go of him until he finally saw him broken, broken and his, his alone.

Egon's desire continued to grow with every passing second, his breath getting heavier, his movements becoming more aggressive. He needed more.

“Whatever you want. Do whatever- I Just- ah - I need more” Alex pleaded. He knew it was pathetic. Begging to be taken, especially by someone he admired so much. He wanted Egon to think he was an equal, someone to be taken seriously. Not just some…whore. Something cheap to be broken.

But…maybe…just maybe…

He would like to be Egon’s anything.

He could be Egon’s plaything if he wanted. He’d bend.

He’s submit. He’d even let Egon break him, as long as he put him back together at the end.

And he would.

Because he knew Egon.

He trusted Egon.

So…

“More” he begged.

Egon's mind was just pure adrenaline now, thoughts coming one after another like a machine gun firing. Thoughts of him, of how he made this boy want him so desperately, how he trusted him so much that he'd let him do anything, even let him break him...it was everything he'd ever dreamed of and now that it was actually a reality it was all he could think about.

Egon's hands slid down to his back, gripping him harder, pulling him closer as his breath got heavier and heavier…

Alex bucked his hips against Egon, and the sweet friction that was there for less than a second lit a spark in his mind. He felt like goo. He was a specimen. All for Egon.

Now that he thought about it…he wouldn’t mind being examined like a subject. Put on display for the doctor.

Alex shivered at the thought.

“I really-really want you” Alex breathed, clutching at him.

Egon's movements slowed down as he saw how much he was affecting Alex now, how his actions were making the man absolutely tremble with desire and need. He savored the feeling, enjoying the feeling of his own dominance and the power it gave him. He could make Alex do anything, make him do anything he wanted…

"I want you bad..." Egon breathed, his voice heavy and thick with need as his mouth came down to Alex's neck, kissing and nipping along the way. Egon was trembling all over now.

”Then do something about it,” Alex bit, and leaned back baring his neck to Egon who bit it with a feverish intensity.

Egon moaned, the sound echoing in his ears as he bit and nicked along the sensitive areas on Alex's neck.

"What do you think I'm doing right now?"

Egon's grip on him had begun to loosen, but it was only so he could move one of his hands around to push Alex's hips forward and make him buck even harder against him.

“AH!” Alex jumped as one of Egon’s hands slid down his back and into the back of his pants. It cupped flesh, squeezing. Alex rocked against the touch, his front brushing against Egon’s feeling just how excited he was by this.

“I want more though…” Alex pawed at Egon’s neatly tucked shirt, finally managing to ruck the back up enough to grab skin just on the small of his back. He tried to pull him closer. “There are beds just a few rooms away you know…” Alex bit at Egon’s ear and got an almost growl-like sound in response.

Egon's mouth left his neck as he heard his ear being nipped on, making his grip on him tight again. He'd been thinking the same thing, the pull of their bodies together was too much to pass up.

"You know what? You're right..." Egon murmured, the only sound the deep breathing of the both of them as Egon began to push Alex towards the beds, eager for the chance to give him everything he wanted.

Alex stumbled blindly, stupidly, towards the bunk room. He knew which bed was Egon’s, and was suddenly thankful for the twin size, as it meant they would have to be as close as possible.

“Egon…” Alex breathed as he stumbled backwards onto the bed, Egon’s hands cupping his jaw. Alex begun to work on pulling the front of Egon’s shirt out of his slacks.

Egon's heart was pounding in his chest, the sound just loud and heavy in his head as he watched Alex start to pull down his shirt. His mouth was dry as all of the blood had rushed to his lower half at this point, making his entire body feel hot all over. He was practically shaking with every touch of Alex's hands as he held himself back at the moment. He could let himself go later, he had to wait just a few more seconds…

”Can I?” Alex asked, practically doe eyed as he looked up at Egon, flushed with lips wet with spit.

His hands fumbled with the zipper of Egon’s pants and the buckle of his belt. This was the only time he cursed how perfectly dressed Egon was. It got in his way of what he really wanted right now.

"Oh... oh yes.”

Egon's entire body was trembling in anticipation, his entire being was just craving for anything he could get from Alex and now to think that he was going to let him take off his pants to get to him....he was not going to last long if this continued.

Alex deftly and quickly undid Egon’s belt and zipper with a speed that told Egon he had done this before, and a primal, stupid part of Egon’s brain flared with jealousy. He wanted to kill whoever taught Alex that. Alex was his.

Alex yanked Egon’s slacks down and his briefs along with it. Quickly, he nosed along the V of Egon’s hips with the ferocity of a starved animal. He licked and kissed anywhere he could get his mouth to.

Egon couldn't stop the guttural sound of pleasure that came from his mouth, his legs wobbling with every touch of Alex's tongue and mouth. His breath was heavy and sharp, his body trembling with the intense desire now coursing through him.

Alex’s hands moved to cover whatever he couldn’t get with his mouth. He wanted this to be good for Egon. He wanted to be good for Egon. He made sure to keep his teeth out of the way, using his tongue mostly. He was still shy, new at this despite the fever with which he undressed Egon.

Suddenly, he felt a heavy pressure on the back of his head.

Egon’s hand.

Egon shoved ever so lightly, forcing Alex to go lower. He had to breathe through his nose now, which was new. His eyes watered up again, threatening to spill.

He liked this Egon though. This new, dominant, side. He liked the pressure of his hand, he liked being told what to do.

Egon's breathing was hot and heavy as he pushed Alex lower to him, his breath rushing out of his mouth with a guttural hiss as he pushed him lower and lower and lower. He needed what Alex was giving him now more than anything he had felt before. He wanted it, needed it, his entire body was trembling in a mixture of anticipation and pleasure, he was close, and he was close very very quickly.

Alex could feel Egon tensing up. He didn’t want this to end so soon but he didn’t know whether or not Egon wanted to go…that far with him.

Egon’s hand released up on his head slightly. Gently, the same hand came to brush sweaty hair behind Alex’s ear.

Egon was hot in Alex’s mouth. Like melting velvet. Alex could stay here forever, warm and fuzzy, doing whatever Egon says. Whatever makes him make the sounds he’s making now.

"Stop..." Egon breathed, his voice was thick and heavy as it was hard for him to get the words out. He was too close now, he needed to keep control of himself for just a little longer, to hold back a bit before he blew this early.

"Look at me." Egon hissed through his teeth as he grabbed Alex's hair and pulled him back up to his face like a demanding master grabbing his pet's leash.

Alex almost choked, pulling quickly off of Egon. His hands were strong, and huge compared to Alex’s face. It was a pretty picture for Egon. A flushed and hazed Alex, back arched, shirt ruffled and pushed up, midriff showing.

“Egon-“ Alex’s voice was hoarse. There was still spit connecting him to Egon.

Alex’s hands drifted to Egon’s thighs. He felt bad, he’d have to wash these slacks for Egon later. He was pretty sure he was going to have to wash this entire bed later.

"Put your hair back" Egon demanded, using all his strength to keep himself from grabbing Alex and pulling him back down for more.

He couldn't see anything else right now other than Alex. He wanted him. He needed him to be his.

Alex’s hair was short so he simply tucked it behind his ear. He blinked up at Egon and got the cue as Egon began tearing at the buttons of Alex’s shirt.

“Ah!-“ Alex tried to protest his shirt being destroyed but Egon simply kissed him and pushed him further up the bed towards his pillows.

“I’ll buy you a new one-“ Egon mended as he pulled the scrap off of Alex’s back and began working to undo his pants, still almost fully dressed himself.

Egon was now barely thinking, he'd let his desire take absolute control of him. He was practically ripping off Alex's pants out of the pure desire to be able to see more of his body. It was almost animalistic the way he was moving now, he couldn't even see straight. All he knew was that it was time to take Alex as his own, to possess him completely.

“Please-“ Alex coughed as he broke away from Egon to paw weakly at his pants, slug around his hips.

Egon kissed him animalistically.

”Baby,” Alex whined. The blood rushed straight to Egon’s lower half.

"Please what?" Egon said, his hands moving to pin down Alex's hands, taking charge of the situation now. He knew a guy like this didn't want to be in charge. The way Alex had been acting so shyly earlier, the way he'd begged Egon to take control made it clear he was just too…overwhelmed to have any kind of power in this situation. Egon let his mouth roam over his neck, gently scratching and biting wherever he thought would get a reaction out of him.

Alex’s breath was coming in shallow puffs now. His eyes rolled back in his head as Egon continued to make dark marks around his neck. He wouldn’t be able to cover them, they’d know. They’d know he was Egon’s.

“Please- doctor!” Alex begged. Egon’s hand roamed up Alex’s lower half, now completely open to him.

Egon stopped, his hands drifting down to his hips again to grip them. He liked how Alex's eyes rolled back into his head as he called him doctor. It made his heart beat to think that Alex would want him to be his doctor, even if it was just for this moment, because that was exactly the title he wanted right now. He wanted to do experiments on him, to see the inside of him, to break him down into all of his pieces, then putting him together again like a puzzle to make him exactly what he needed.

“Take me…” Alex swallowed, mouth dry, “Take me apart…” He finally managed to pull his lovers pants completely off and his shirt as well, leaving him in the same state as Alex.

He was glad the fire house was warm. Hot, even.

Maybe that was just them two.

Egon's entire body shivered at that one sentence. It was as though he could feel the heat radiate off of his own body, his heart beating so quickly that it almost hurt him.

This boy, Alex, he was exactly what Egon needed. Maybe not just for a few nights, but for forever.

"Then I will take you apart..." Egon said, it was almost a threat. No one else was getting him, he was his.

“Please,” Alex kissed Egon as he felt him move. This position was similar to the table, except now Egon towered even more-so over him.

They hadn’t grabbed any sort of…help…for this. It was just them. Bare. Alex hoped Egon was fine with that. He was on the pill after all.

“I want you-“ Egon kissed Alex to shut him up and moved. He felt hot. Much hotter than anything or anybody Alex had been with before. And his body was, larger. He covered Alex’s whole chest, and he could feel one of Egon’s hands tracing one of his top surgery scars.

Egon shivered again, his body shaking with both the desire he was feeling and the thought that there was nothing to stop them from going all the way, no condoms or contraception, nothing at all. He wanted to take Alex and to make him his, on every level.

Alex's scars were just a bonus to him, something he liked to see on another's body as it told more about who they were. He would always appreciate the scars Alex got, because it made him know Alex even more.

“I don’t need…prep,” Alex breathed. He flushed with the admission but it was true. He watched as the realization suck into Egon’s face and he grinned, devilish.

“Yeah?” Egon asked, petting Alex’s side sweetly. It amazed him how even in such heated moments like this Egon could be so sweet and shy.

“Was thinking of you while I…” Alex admitted in a breathy, sort of out of control voice before he could even think about what he was saying.

"You were?" Egon whispered back, his voice full of shock, it seemed almost impossible that Alex would think of him at all when he was alone.

"Just me?"

Egon's hands began to make their way over Alex's body again, stroking down his sides as he watched for his reaction.

“Only you.” Alex moaned as Egon’s hand teased him.

“Wanted to be Yours” Alex purred. He kissed the bridge of Egon’s nose, something he knew the other man was sensitive about, but to Alex, he loved it, it was strong and regal just like the man it was attached to.

"Oh..." Egon breathed as he heard Alex moaning and kissing his nose, he could feel his heart skipping a beat at that admission. No one had ever said anything like that to him before, he didn't expect anyone to ever tell him that they wanted him, let alone only him. His entire body was trembling now as he felt a rush of emotions all at once.

He lowered his face back to Alex's and kissed him deeply, unable to help himself at all.

“Please, please need you now, needed you yesterday,” Alex began to whine, clawing at Egon’s back freely now. He was sure he would leave faint red marks in his wake. He wanted to mark Egon as much as Egon wanted to mark him.

He drew his legs around Egon’s back and pulled him closer into his hips, barely pulling him in.

Alex grit his teeth. He was so hot. He felt like he had a fever.

Egon groaned at that as his grip on Alex tightened, his breath coming out sharp and heavy as he pressed himself into him with everything he had. His heart was racing and he could feel his vision blurring at the heat now, he was so worked up that it was becoming difficult to keep steady because everything that Alex was doing was sending him straight to the breaking point.

Alex’s whines and moans took a sharp turn into a higher register as Egon pushed home. It felt insane. He felt like he was full to his throat. He wanted to spend and entire eon here in Egon’s arms.

Egon’s moans took a lower register however, as he braced one arm bracketing Alex’s head, hair flung widely out onto the pillow behind him. Alex’s arm flew up to claw at Egon’s nape.

It reminded him of how this started, Egon’s finger slowly drawing up and down his head.

Alex felt drunk. Egon felt powerful.

Egon could feel Alex's back arching as he pushed deeper and deeper, each movement making Egon feel more and more dominant, more and more in control of Alex. He could hear the other man growling and moaning with each thrust as it drove him close to his limit, but Egon couldn't stop himself, he wanted even more.

”Egon- Doctor- I’m so close” Alex breathed. His eyes were brimmed with tears as Egon pushed against a spot inside him that made him see stars. His hand gripped into Egon’s back further, and he was sure his nails were breaking skin as he dug into him and pulled him closer, kissing him harder, teeth biting lips and clacking into each other.

Egon's lips were still locked to his, his mouth moving even as his body shivered at the pressure from Alex's hand. He was on the verge of losing it completely, he needed this release more than anything right now because he had come so far. He'd be lying if he said his actions weren't a bit selfish, but no matter what his intentions were, his mind wasn't thinking like that right now, all he could think about was taking more and more.

“Egon.” Alex’s voice tumbled into a softer tone without even meaning to. “I thi-uh-” he made stupid little punched out noises with every movement. Egon gripped his hand that was on his back and pinned it to the pillows behind his head with his own. He felt just as hot as Alex, if not more so.

“I think- think I’m in-“ Alex gasped and made a long pathetic cry as Egon slowly moved and held his position against him. “ITHINKIMINLOVEWITHYOU-” Alex jumbled out in a moment of happiness and haze induced fog as Egon, the man of his dreams, the guy he’s wanted for so so long, holds him and kisses him and presses into him.

Egon shivered at that admission, his chest feeling as though it were being crushed from the sudden rush of emotions that came from Alex's words. He couldn't even think right now, he wasn't thinking of anything other than this moment, this man he had wanted for so long was in his arms telling him that he loved him. Egon squeezed the boy tighter as he finally released him from the pressure and finally allowed himself to just rest his weight on top of Alex, holding him close.

Alex felt Egon tense, and one of his large hands came to grip Alex’s lower half. He pulled, and a few strokes later Alex’s back bowed and his eyes rolled and he made an absolutely pathetic whimper as he folded.

He was Egon’s.

Egon shivered again, his jaw was clenched tight as he tried to get everything under control and stop his entire world from shaking. Now that he had Alex here, he wasn't going to let him go. He was only his, he was finally his and Egon had never felt this good before as he felt a rush of pride flow through him. He would have to wait to ask if it was just a heat-of-the-situation statement or if it was the real thing, but right now it didn't matter. All he could think of was that he had him.

Egon felt heavy on top of Alex as he laid there after the fact. Alex didn’t have the strength to move him. He really didn’t think he wanted to move him. He felt… warm and full and he really had never been happier. He had the man he loved in bed with him…shit, he had just made love to the man he loved. Alex felt like he may explode despite being so wrung out.

He could still feel Egon’s hands rubbing softly at his hips, even despite him being exhausted. Alex felt a different part of him warm, his heart. Even despite everything Egon was still thinking of him first.

Egon didn't try to move either, he felt so incredibly content just laying on top of Alex, his body pressed firmly against him. Egon's fingers were still tracing over his hips, he couldn't get enough of the boy beneath him. He'd never felt like this before, Alex had a hold on him he didn't think he would ever have over anyone, in this moment he had finally been taken by someone, he had finally been possessed and he wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep with Alex in his arms.

”Egon.” Alex whispered a few minutes after their breathing had calmed down. Egon had shifted slightly to get off of Alex’s chest.

“I love you.” Alex breathed as Egon played with his hair.

He felt Egon smile against his shoulder.

"I love you too."

Egon's reply was simple, but he meant it with all his heart as he shifted off of him, laying beside him now. He was so comfortable and so content with him, he wanted to hold him this way for the rest of his life and he honestly didn't want to be anywhere else right now. His arm snaked around and wrapped tightly around him as he brought him closer to himself, holding him close while his finger played with the hair at the back of his head.

Alex nuzzled into Egon’s neck. He shivered as the last of Egon pulled out.

“Do ya’ think we could sleep here?” Alex asked, already sleepy. Egon had tired him out, and he was still partially in that fuzzy state in between conscious and pliable.

Egon’s hand wrapped further around him. He was warm and still slightly tacky with sweat.

Egon shivered as he felt Alex nuzzle into him again, he couldn't help but give a soft chuckle when he heard his request to sleep together, he was already getting used to being Alex's pillow.

"Yes, I do."

He was tired too and he let himself drift off with his body pressed against Alex's, his arm keeping him close even when his eyes were starting to shut and his heart was trying to slow back down.

Alex fell asleep peacefully and quickly that night. It was nice. He felt completely comfortable for once. He had half the mind to pull his boxers and Egon’s shirt on before completely drifting off and forcing Egon to at least pull his boxers on as well.

-

He was glad he did, because somehow both of them forgot to set any sort of clock beside any bedside table, and by the time Venkman got to the firehouse the next day, they had just enough time to hear the door on the first floor open to be able to wake up and rush to get things ready.

Egon sat up slowly when he heard the firehouse door slam open from the lower floor. He looked around, seeing Alex pull on his boxers next to him.

He had to be dreaming still because Alex had spent the entire night with him. Egon was already slipping on pants by then and Alex was up as well.

They both looked half dressed but it was enough to not raise suspicions that they had been with each other. For all Peter knew, Egon had simply spent the night in the lab and Alex had had a particularly good date. They shuffled blearily into the kitchenette, and belatedly, Alex realized all of Egon’s work was still across the table. He hoped it could survive a night of no refrigeration, he would’ve hated to have ruined all of his hard work. He didn’t look worried, so Alex was not panicked just yet.

Instead, Egon headed to the kitchen and started pulling down some pancake mix and a bowl from a higher shelf than Alex couldn’t usually get to without going on his tip-toes, and grabbing a pan from under the sink.

Alex sat at the same chair he had been accosted in last night and watched intensely. Egon looked so domestic. He had to borrow extra sweats and an old college hoodie in his locker here since his clothes were ruined last night. He was lucky enough to have another work outfit in his locker. So he didn’t have the luxury of pretending like the two of them had truly spent a night together like a real couple.

Even though they did.

Finally.

Instead, he was already internally preparing to make up some story about someone else if Peter asked about his neck. Thankfully, Alex was smart enough to keep any marks he left on Egon where only he could see them.

Egon was focused on his cooking, he'd made pancakes here a few times before but he was determined to make this a good breakfast for Alex, now that they were actually official.

He was too focused on that to notice just how much Alex was staring at him, watching him like a predator would prey.

It was a nice feeling to know he had this kind of attention. He finally looked over at him though and smirked at the sight before going back to cooking.

Alex knew he had to tear his attention away before Venkman came up here and caught on to something. He was half worried that the place still reeked of sex.

He had quickly thrown the sheets of his and every other bed into the washer with the help of Egon, along with their clothes.

In all terms, nothing was left of evidence.

But Alex kinda wanted there to be.

He really, really liked Egon.

Watching him cook pancakes, for him and Alex, providing like this without being asked, warmed his heart a little bit and he had to catch himself before his brain took off with the thought and started imagining 10 years in the future, to mornings just like this, except maybe with a few little feet running around.

Egon was actually feeling warm at the looks Alex was giving him, it made him feel good that Alex was looking at him like this, that he could make this guy so happy. Egon didn't think of the future, he was just focused on this moment, on making these pancakes. Once he had the batter properly mixed he set the bowl down and pulled out the frying pan, beginning to heat it with grease.

Alex didn’t think anything could ruin his mood today.

That was, almost.

-

After Egon had finished his pancakes, they had both eaten just as Peter finally came upstairs to see them. Apparently he had stopped to check on the car before coming up, so they had more time than they thought.

They conversed casually, and sure enough, as Alex bit into another bite of his pancakes, he watched Peter eye his neck suspiciously.

“WHO gave you those things newsboy?” He asked, smirking.

Alex felt Egon’s leg tense against his, but he didn’t stop eating or show any other sign of being startled, so that was good.

“Just some girl from the bar…” Alex mumbled.

He didn’t know if Egon wanted to be open about it. He wished he had gotten to talk about it with him before everyone had shown up for work the next day. They had a scheduled go over of what they were going to do with the vault and its size soon.

But it was interrupted.

As soon as everyone had crowded around the breakfast nook upstairs, the alarms rang and Janine was yelling from downstairs about some high level poltergeist at the manhattan library. Suddenly, just as fast as they arrived, the boys had taken off in the van, all suited up.

Egon spared him a fleeting glance, and it was packed with a lot, before he had shuffled in and they had flipped the sirens on and pulled off.

Well.

He may as well get some work done for the rest of the day while they were gone.

-

Egon had caught an expression out of the corner of his eye from Peter and Alex's exchange that he didn't like, his jaw was clenching as they were interrupted, but there was no chance to dwell on it right now. He was more worried about Alex, hoping he wouldn't get into any kind of trouble from the lie he'd told. As Egon was going into the van he gave Alex a glimpse of a look that said 'I'll talk to you about it later' before being shut into the van with the rest of the team.

-

Alex had busied himself until the van had pulled up again late in the day.

It was a bad bust. At least a rough one.

There was a loud noise of the garage opening and the van pulled in with the boys in tow. They hoped out one by one.

Peter looked tired, already smoking. Ray was talking frantically to Winston who didn’t seem to be paying that much attention, talking about dinner. And finally, Egon folded himself out of the tight door and seemed to be almost…smoking.

Not, like. Attractive-ness wise.

Like, legitimately smoking.

As in on fire.

Alex rushed over to see what was wrong, but as he approached Egon simply held up the smoking ecto-trap, still steaming from a big catch. He smiled tiredly and looked down at Alex.

Egon looked exhausted and in need of a good shower at the moment, sweat and ash covered him and Alex couldn't find a clean spot on him if he tried. He was panting heavily the moment he made it out of the van since the last ghost they had encountered had been one hell of a fight. His eyes immediately locked with Alex's when he started running over towards him and his face lit up with that tired, sweet smile. He was grateful that the one person he actually wanted to see right now was there to see him.

Alex looked towards the rest of the boys. “Okay boys, beds are freshly made. Go shower and while you do that I’ll order your favorite Chinese takeout!” Alex declared and he could practically feel Egon melt under his touch on his back with his words.

With that, everyone scuddled off to busy themselves.

Egon's shoulders sagged the moment he heard that, his expression suddenly becoming much more relaxed and calm. As soon as the rest of the guys left the room he had wrapped his arms tightly around him again, burying his face down into the crook of his neck.

"I don't feel like you give yourself enough credit Alex, I'm always fed well here."

His words were tired and scratchy, but he was still smiling as he squeezed him tight.

Alex nuzzled back, only slightly bothered by the singed smell of his uniform. That would have to be fixed later.

“Go shower, big guy.” Alex shoved Egon gently off him and towards the showers with the rest of the guys. He wanted him to be clean and feeling good before he gave him a warm meal.

Egon reluctantly let himself be pushed away but he still made good use of the rest room as he stripped off his sweaty clothes and headed into the shower. It wasn't easy to wash the thick layer of sweat and ash from his skin this far in but he was able to at least get it to the point where he didn't smell like he'd been standing next to someone on fire. He got out of the shower after about 20 minutes and put on a clean set of clothes he had kept up here.

As he searched for clothes, he realized a sweater from earlier was missing. He’d have to ask Alex if he’d seen where it had gone, maybe in with the clothes that they ruined last night.

Egon smiled smugly at the thought.

And here everyone thought he had no game.

He shook his head.

It was more than that.

He really, really liked Alex. He felt connected to him, on a deeper level than he did with anybody else on the team. He wanted to come home to him after a long day of kicking ass and saving the world, knowing he was safe and happy.

Egon smiled at the thought happily as he appeared back in the kitchenette, empty save for you even though everyone else had gone off to shower before him.

Egon was content with this moment right now, he was home and he didn't have to worry about his team for a little while longer. And even if Alex was still going through his stuff, and stealing it to wear home, he didn't have any concerns.

"I'm back, how have you been holding up here?" He asked, walking into the kitchenette with a small, gentle smile as he leaned up against the counter. Egon just wanted to keep talking with Alex for a little while longer before they had to actually get busy with work things.

Alex opened one of 3 bags of Chinese food he had ordered while the rest of them were showering.

“I’m okay. That bust looked rough. Wanna’ talk about it?”

Alex asked, bumping his hip playfully against Egon’s in an attempt to keep the mood light even though he knew sometimes talking about scary or close-call busts made Egon get antsy.

Egon's face was still a little bit strained after the bust but he couldn't help but smile when he noticed Alex was trying to keep the mood light, Egon liked that part of him. He couldn't help but chuckle as Alex bumped his hip against him, he knew Alex was trying to help. When the topic of the bust came up, Egon tried to dismiss it.

"Oh it was nothing, the ghost was just a bit stronger than expected but it turned out fine. Don't worry about it."

Alex could tell he was dodging him, but he wasn’t going to push. Egon would come to him when he was ready.

Or, he maybe he could take out his stress with busts a different way now.

Either way, Alex didn’t mind for now.

Presently, he focused on getting the food out of the bags and cleaning Egon’s makeshift science lab off the and onto the counter.

Alex was glad. It looked like they had all survived the night and were doing fine. Egon didn’t seem fussed with him moving them either. Just watched, enraptured, leaning over the rest of the kitchen with arms folded as Alex moved methodically.

Egon's eyes kept on moving from his food to Alex and back again, that sweet smile never leaving his face as he admired the way he went about his work. Egon's stomach was rumbling now that that sweet smell was filling the kitchenette, the smell of the fresh food just making his stomach growl. His hand reached out to try and grab a piece of the food but each time he reached his hand out he stopped himself, not wanting to eat until Alex had a chance to eat something too.

Alex playfully batted at his hand. “Let me grab the others, they went to grab beers from the basement freezer.”

Alex swung himself quickly around the fire pole a few yards away and Egon watched him quickly drop out of view rolling his eyes.

Always dramatic.

Alex was the one that used that silly pole the most despite only being a desk jockey and a PR Princess for the team.

Egon chuckled a little bit as he watched Alex take the fire pole, as much as he thought it was a bit much he was more impressed that Alex could actually pull it off. Egon got too lost in his own thoughts to notice that Alex had left until he was back in just a minute or two with the other guys in tow.

Alex bounded up the stairs and gleefully placed a cold 6 pack down in the center. Janine was even in tow behind the rest of the guys.

Egon smiled gently. It was perfect. All his favorite people.

Alex brushed up against him, smiling with a specific warmth meant only for him.

He clapped his hands together happily. “Okay guys!” He addressed everyone and gestured to the wide spread of Chinese food in the center of the table, with the beer as the centerpiece. “Dig in!”

Egon felt like something had suddenly and unexpectedly popped into place in his life. Like something was just ever so slightly out of alignment, and in this particular moment it all became very, blindingly clear.

It was all perfect.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Final notes: woah!! Okay so that was a long story sorry everyone I have brainrot. Not responsible for my own actions but honestly we need more good ftm shit on this website so I took it upon myself. Hope everyone enjoyed but look out for more stuff soon because I finally feel like actually writing yayyyy :333

[anyamaris]

Winter Blooms

Word Count-3136

Pairing- Wooyoung x F!Reader

Trope-Neighbors to lovers au, fluff

Summary-Your relationship with your vacation home neighbor has been blooming over time, and perhaps there could be something much more than friendship growing between you.

Warnings-Mild adult language, mentions of food/cooking.

A/N-This is my submission for our CODN secret santa event and I am @daesukiii 's secret santa! -I hope you enjoy this and happy holidays! It was fun to write this, and I hope it's not too cheesy.

Tags-@ksmutsociety @cultofdionysusnet @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @yoonguurt @shinestarhwaa @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @starlitmark @millennial-fangirl @ericssmile @wooahaeproductions@changbinslovelylegs @yeosxxx @millennial-fangirl @starillusion13 @duchesskaren @minki-moo

@cafekitsune Thank you for banners and dividers! 🤍💜🤍

The first time you’d met, the sun had been high in the sky, and you’d been coming back from a trip to the store.  

You’ve been coming to your family's summer home since you were young, and as an adult it was the perfect place to escape.  Becoming an adult, dealing with college, then the mundane yet stressful life of your day job made this place like a small slice of heaven.

You’d rarely paid much attention to the other cottage down the lane, besides watching the people come and go through your youth.  The couple that periodically passed by eventually stopped showing up, then you’d heard that someone else had purchased the place.

It was in between semesters that you’d escaped from the constant pressure of life to come to the summer home.  Mid winter, the lake frozen over, there was a serenity that you’d never experienced during the sunny vacations you’d taken with your parents as a child.  

That was when you’d met Wooyoung.  

His young, boisterous demeanor greatly opposed your more quiet, timid attitude when it came to socializing.  He’d immediately waved as you drove past, and you couldn’t help but smile at how friendly he was despite being calf deep in snow while he shoveled his drive.  

Of course, you also couldn’t ignore the handsome face rosy with the cold under his knit hat.  When he’d knocked later that day to introduce himself, he was even more attractive up close.  

“Hello neighbor!  My name is Wooyoung, I wanted to stop by and say hello.  Do you come here often? I just moved in last year.” You couldn’t help but give him a soft smile as he held out his hand, introducing yourself in kind as you tried to cover a laugh.

“I..normally come in the summer.” Is all you offer and he just nods, sniffing from the frigid air as he adjusted his coat. 

“Well, it gets cold around here, so if you need anything, feel free to come ask!” He had said, giving you a dramatic wave as he jogged back down the road to his place.  

Despite the trip lasting only a mere four days, his presence was a constant comfort to you.  When you awoke the following morning, you’d been shocked to find him shoveling your drive as well, waving yet again when he spotted you before he disappeared back down the road when he finished.  

Normally, you keep to yourself when you are here, writing in your journal or busying yourself with drawing the winter landscape outside your large picture window in the front room.  

Memories of warm summer sunsets drawing the lake always made you smile, and curling up in some warm blankets with a mug of steamy hot chocolate made this experience cathartic.  The stresses of adulting were falling away like layers of dead skin, allowing you to feel cleansed of worry for the moment.  

So when summer came around again, you’d made another trip on your own.  Thoughts of a quiet, peaceful week danced in your mind as you drove to your cottage, and once more you caught sight of Wooyoung as you passed by.  

This time he was sweaty and dirty, but still smiling happily as he waved to you.  “Welcome back!” he called out as you drove by, and you couldn’t help but give him a small smile and a wave in return.  

His unexpected visit later also brought a smile to your face, as he walked down your drive holding a basket of something.  

“Hello!” He called out, beaming that bright smile of his.  “I brought you some vegetables from my garden.” He explained as he offered you the basket, catching you off guard.  

“Oh…thank you…” you had murmured, not knowing what else to say to your seemingly kind neighbor.  “I..don’t really have anything to offer you back…” 

He’d just waved his hand, laughing loudly at your comment.  “No need, I have plenty!  I really enjoy gardening so I thought I’d just share with you.  Feel free to come get more if you need anything!”  

Blushing at his thoughtfulness, you merely nodded, thanking him again before he had wandered back off to his own place.

And this is how it had gone, between semesters and on breaks, you’d made your way to your little piece of heaven to relax.  Time and time again, Wooyoung had stopped by, always dropping something off, never staying too long.  

You’d see him on your walks during the nicer seasons, always returning his happy waves as his face would light up at seeing you.  

He’d always nod and call to you when you were on your porch relaxing.  

In the colder seasons, he always stopped by to check to see if you needed anything, and your drive was always cleared out.  

He seemed to understand that you weren’t prone to talking much, but he always made a special effort with you that never crossed a line into pushing.  

Somewhere in that period between visiting during breaks at school, then moving into the working world, you slowly found yourself looking forward to his visits.  

Finding yourself smiling as he would appear and wave, giving you that bright, sunny smile of his.  You’d spend more time going for walks, or sitting on your porch, drawing or writing, peeking down the road every so often in the hopes to see him strolling over to say hello.

So finally, one summer evening when the sun was setting on one of your random visits, when he’d come walking over, you closed your journal, standing with a warm smile.  

“Wooyoung, it’s nice to see you.” You told him, as he’d bounced up the stairs to greet you happily.  

“It’s been awhile!” He exclaims, glancing at the journal you set beside you curiously.

“How’s your garden?” You had asked him and he began to tell you all about the vegetables and flowers he’d been growing.

“Do you have a favorite flower?” he’d asked.

“Hmm…I love alstroemeria, actually.” You told him and he beamed excitedly.  “Snapdragons also, they are very pretty.”

“I’ll have to check them out and see if I can add them to my garden!” 

“Well, only if they are something you like as well.  What else are you growing?” You’d asked.

Before you knew it, the sun had been setting and you blinked at how long you’d likely kept the poor man in conversation.  

You found yourself opening up to him the more you spoke, and sharing things about yourself.  

“You like to cook as well? And bake?!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together in delight.  “I’ll make sure I keep bringing you veggies then, you just let me know what you like!” 

Laughing at his exuberance, you couldn’t help but nod.  “Well in that case…” you proceeded to give him a grocery list of things you cooked with.  

“Under one condition,” He says, winking at you. “One day, you’ll have to let me try something you make!”

Blushing at his request, you just nodded.  “One day, I promise.”  

“Deal!” He’d said excitedly.  

Throughout that visit, he’d made his way over more and more, exchanging polite talk and you found yourself looking forward to seeing him.  You’d even find yourself venturing out on walks just to stop and chat with him about his garden, the weather, even going so far as to tell him what you did for work.  

You were slowly developing what you thought might become a friendship with your handsome neighbor, and you had even started thinking about what to  make to bring him on your next walk.

Unfortunately, that visit had gotten cut short, and you hadn’t been able to fulfill that request because of it.  Work had gotten busy, and then the holidays were upon you.  

Christmas had never been your favorite time of year, and you couldn’t wait for it to be over. 

So once the 25th had come and gone, family dispersing to go back to their everyday lives, you’d packed your bags and headed off once more to the small cottage to get away.  

Driving by Wooyoung’s house, you can’t help but slow down, peeking to see if he was outside doing something.  

It was strange how you’ve come to look forward to seeing the bubbly, handsome man now when you come out here.  

Without realizing it, he had started to become one of the many reasons you looked forward to coming on your excursions to the cottage these days.

Though he wasn’t out when you passed by, you tell yourself that he will likely make his way over at some point.  He always did without fail, and as you go about checking over the cottage, you find yourself peering out the window in expectation.

And there he is, you think to yourself, unconsciously smoothing your hair and giving yourself a once over.  

His dark hair is covered by his tattered knit hat, his breath visible from the cold as he makes his way up your drive.  When he sees you through the window, his face lights up as he waves happily to you.  

You can’t help but giggle a bit as he loses his footing and almost falls, his embarrassed smile as he rights himself warming your cheeks.  

“You didn’t see that!” He calls out as you open the door.  

“Didn’t see you almost fall on your-” you start to tease.

“HEY! No, I am extremely agile and balanced; Fall? Me? Pah!” He returns and you just shake your head at him.  

“Sure, whatever you say.” Suppressing your laughter, you greet him as he kicks the snow off his boots.  

“”I saved you some of the herbs I dried from the summer.” He says, pulling out a few jars to offer you.

“Oh, wow…thank you!” You say, eyeing him as he sniffles a bit, covering his mouth to cough softly.  

“Are you catching a cold?” You ask him, worry marring your features.  “Come inside and have something warm to drink.”

“It’s likely just a cold, but no, I won’t stay long just in case.  I can’t have you getting sick.” He shakes his head, holding his gloved hands up.  

“Well…if you need anything, I can always run to the store to get you medicine or-” You start to offer but he cuts you off.

“Don’t worry about me, I have some medicine for times like this.  I’ll just go home and get some rest.  Maybe I’ll be able to stop by again once this passes.” He says, his eyes almost hopeful as he studies yours.  

“I’d like that, but don’t push yourself.” You tell him, feeling your cheeks heat at the thought.  

“Never, it’s hibernating season!” He laughs as he turns to go.  “Enjoy the herbs and don’t be a stranger!” He calls out.  

“Stay warm and drink fluids!” Smirking, you can’t stop yourself before adding, “And don’t fall on your ass!”

“Graceful! I’m graceful!” he shrieks back as he slides a bit, righting himself before giving you a dramatic pout.  

“Sure!” You can’t stop from laughing as he makes his way home, mumbling incoherently as he walks away.  

Frowning down at the herbs, thinking of how very kind he’s been to you through the recent years, you find yourself heading into the kitchen.

A trip to the local grocery and a restful night later, you wake to get to work in the kitchen early in the morning.  

For most of the morning, you go through the comforting process of making homemade soup.  You’d made your first soup ages ago in this very kitchen, and it warmed your soul to be doing so again as an adult.

The process of making a homemade loaf of bread to accompany the warm soup alleviates all your stresses, mixing, kneading, rising, baking.  

The aroma of warm yeast and the dried herbs Wooyoung had given you fill the small cottage and you sigh in happiness as the morning stretches into afternoon.  

By the time you’re putting the lid on the pot and getting a bag to carry it in, the day is edging into evening.  Peering out the window, you watch the fat snowflakes fall as you package up the still warm bread.

It only takes you a few minutes to trudge through the snow, as it looks as if Wooyoung has already cleared your driveway that morning despite his obvious cold.  

Sighing at the ridiculous man pushing himself, you make your way up his drive to his door.  

It takes a few moments before you hear the padding of feet, then the door opens to a very obviously sick Wooyoung.

“Why were you out shoveling when you are ill?” You say before he can utter a word and he just gives you a sheepish smile.

“I can’t have you getting snowed in, now can I?” He returns, his voice harsh as he covers his mouth to cough.  “What brings you here?” He asks, eyes dropping to your hands.  

“I told you I’d make you something sometime.” You tell him, feeling suddenly shy.  “I..made some soup so I thought this was a good time to share.” 

The man can only blink at you, those dark eyes shocked as he clears his throat.  “You made me soup?” He asks, and you swear his cheeks redden slightly despite already being pink from his cold.

“And bread.” You say, smiling softly at him.  

For once the normally talkative man seems speechless and you find yourself feeling nervous.  

“Should I not have-” you start.

“Please-come in…wait…I don’t want you to catch-” 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m not concerned about getting sick.” You cut him off before he can protest more.  

He steps back to let you in and before long, you’re in his kitchen unloading your food for him.  

“I used the herbs you brought over.” You tell him as he watches you, his dark eyes soft and warm.  

“It smells amazing, you made all of this for me?” He asks, blinking at you in awe.  

“Well…I love making soup and bread anyway…” you turn to gesture at the cupboards.  “Is it alright if I get bowls?” 

He nods, rushing to get them out for you, and then you’re ladling soup out and cutting the fresh bread for him. 

“Sit, relax and eat.” You tell him, and he nods, immediately digging into the warm meal.  

“You shouldn’t go out in the cold when you’re not feeling well.” you scold and he looks up at you, blushing.  

“You know…” he starts, but then shakes his head, looking back down at his soup.  “This is delicious…thank you.” 

You watch as he finishes the soup, then as his eyes brighten when he tastes the warm bread with it.  Nothing beats someone enjoying something you’ve created and it pleases you even more that it’s Wooyoung beaming back at you as he praises the meal.  

“I’ll leave the rest here, promise me you’ll eat and rest.” You demand and he can only smile as he nods.  

“Yes, ma’am.  I swear.”  He lets out a soft sigh, rubbing his arms as he shivers.  “I should rest.  How was your holiday?”

“It’s the same, stressful Christmas it always is.  I prefer the spring when everything is starting to grow, and there’s more calm.” 

He hums, nodding as his eyes droop.  “Me too, I like the spring and summer when I can garden…”

“Well it’s time to hibernate, Wooyoung.  I’ll head home, so you get some rest.” You tell him softly, smiling at the sleepy, sick man.  

“Here’s my number, if you need anything.” You tell him, writing it down on a notebook he has on his counter.  

He just locks eyes with you for a moment and you can feel your heart skip a beat, glancing away quickly as he looks down at the number.  

“Homemade food, a house call and a number? I’m tempted to get down on my knees to propose…” He teases and you can’t help but bite your lip at his words.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, pal.  Get yourself healthy first, and you’ll find that it’s the cold talking.” you shoot back, fiddling with the straps of the now empty bag.  

He only gives you a little smile as he nods, walking with you to the door.  “Sleep, I promise.” 

You make your way home, stopping to glance back at him as he waves, feeling the heat creep into your cheeks.  

Was he flirting with me? You think but shake your head as you return home.  “Impossible…” you murmur, setting about getting comfy for a night in.

The days pass and eventually your stay begins to draw to a close.  

You’ve exchanged texts with Wooyoung, back and forth as he gradually gets better.  Unfortunately, you are only out here for a few days before you’re packing back up to return to your busy life.

“I’ll return the pot to you next time you come out,” He texts after you've left.

“Hopefully I’ll be able to get away again soon, but I’ll let you know.” you respond.

And that was it. 

Or so you thought.  

Once home, you found yourself wondering how Wooyoung was doing, but before you could give in to the urge to reach out, you received another message from him.

“So, how are you doing?” He had sent.  

It was a simple question.  

Nothing to get excited about.  

Yet, that question started a daily exchange between the two of you and before long, it had become a routine.  

By February, you were already longing for time off, for the ability to go see the dark haired man you’ve finally had to admit to having a crush on.

A crush? Definitely.

Or was it more?  

So, when he messaged you on February 14th with a picture of a small cluster of alstroemeria; the beautiful pink and gold in a little pot with a heart on it-

You were left speechless.

The words that followed squashed any of your doubts, your heart pounding in excitement.

They read:

“I planted these this past summer after you told me they were your favorite.  I grew these, thinking of you and maybe I’m crazy but…you haven’t left my mind ever since.

“I keep looking out my window, hoping you’ll drive by for another visit.  When you return, would you like to have dinner together? This time I’ll make you something?”

Your cheeks heat at the message, and it takes you a long moment to process his words before you clear your throat.  

“Are you asking me on a date, Wooyoung?” You send back, covering your face as you wait for his response.

“Yes. I am.  It’s not quite a proposal yet, but ….” 

You wait only a second before the next line comes through, warming your cheeks as you glow with happiness.

“Will you be my valentine?”

[deadlyflames]

I have to say, I was absolutely obsessed with your Reverse Falls AU back in the day (still am tbh), and it was/is my favourite version of any Reverse Falls AU that had been done. I love that Gideon and Pacifica weren’t just given Dipper and Mabel’s personalities like a lot of other versions of that AU, and that they felt like the better version’s of themselves. I’m still wondering what the plot was gonna be concerning what Stan was up to and with Ford being trapped in the portal and such. Regardless, your writings still have a chokehold on me, so thank you <3

Thank you so much! I'm so happy to you enjoyed it. I love getting messages like this <3

I don't think I'll finished my own full version of the plot as I planned to, because it was kinda intense. But I'm very glad I made all those one shots and that they make people happy. I loved writing them and I still adore this AU.

TBH, I had a huge plan for the Stanford backstory and it was so unnecessarily complicated. Theres stuff I would keep but other stuff I would probably axe.

Short version is Stan and Ford moved to Gravity Falls when they were 12. They befriended a young Carla and Fiddleford and the four of them formed a little scooby gang that would solve the mysteries of Gravity Falls.

A young Ford stumbles upon the cave with the incantation to summon Bill and he translates it. So a young Pre teen Ford meets Bill much earlier than in canon and this influences him for the worst.

Stan doesn’t break his machine, Ford still gets rejected and this sends him on a dark spiral. He leaves town without a world.

Ford still builds the portal and falls into it, but this time it wasn't an accident and he was pushed in it on purpose. By Stan. 😬

The one who is actually trying to open the portal in this AU was Pacifica's mom. 😱

Here's a link to a more detailed timeline of these events - be warned - its hella messy.

Even tho I’ll probably never finish this story, it has a special place in my heart. ❤️ So I’ve included the draft for the first chapter of the official reverse falls au and my other chapter plans below the cut.

You didn't ask for it so ... here you go.

Play It In Reverse

While working for their Granny Carla, Pacifica and Gideon come across a nameless journal with mysterious content. They start to unravel the secrets of their home town, but they find some things are better left hidden when their path crosses with the Pines twins.

Ch 1 - Part Time Tourist, Full Time Trapped

Priscilla Northwest had not been happy when her daughter had brought up that she wanted to get a job for the summer break. Priscilla had stated that it was below a lady of her station to have a part time job and work for one of the lowbrow hicks that lived in the town. Besides, what was the point in getting a job when they were already rich.

But Pacifica had been persistent and Priscilla had seen the fiery rebellion in her violet eyes. She wouldn't easily back down from her position, not without constant tantrums and complaining. The child had always been annoyingly stubborn when she set her mind to something. Though Priscilla couldn't say she was much different when she was Pacifica's age.

She didn't really want to deal with an angry reckless teenager when she had a city to run. And she doubted Preston could keep Pacifica in line on his own. And it would be much easier to continue with her work if Pacifica wasn't wandering about the mansion on a constant basis.

The more Priscilla pondered on letting her daughter get a summer job, the better the idea seemed. The only problem was finding a place for her to work. She wouldn't let Pacifica be caught dead laboring in the greasy lumberjack diner. Priscilla would have to make sure that she had a respectable job with a trustworthy employer. An employer who wouldn't mind being saddled with a fourteen year old girl with no previous work experience and no knowledge of how to work for a living. It would be a difficult task, even for the mayor of the town. Priscilla was gifted in finding the right strings to pull to make sure things would work out to her design, and she didn't doubt her abilities. But not many respectable people would accept taking on a new employee for the entire of summer when the season had just started.

Acquaintances were unlikely to accept Pacifica, but family was another story.

Long and short term plans formed within her mind as she reached out to pick up her phone. Dialing a familiar but unused number on her phone, she took a deep breath as she brought the receiver to her ear.

An eccentric voice answered on the third ring. "You've reached the Mystery Shack, home of the legendary swamp beast foot. Just the left foot though, the rest of him is still buried in the swamp, plotting a way to find his missing limb. If you'd like to see it for yourself, come on down and enter-"

"Mother," Priscilla said to the woman on the other end, cutting off her sales pitch. "It's Priscilla."

The friendly tone in her mother's voice flipped on a dime. "Ah Priscilla, thought you might call," Carla stated with clipped sarcasm. "It's only been a year."

She cringed to herself in response to her mother's attempt at guilt tripping her. She hadn't called in order to get told off for not keeping in contact. Even though she was sure that her mother would love to focus on that subject.

"You know how busy I am, mother," Priscilla replied flippantly. The response left her lips before she could think better of it. Too late to take it back now. She examined a bit of paper work that had been pushed off to the side of her desk. Something to focus on other than the rant her mother was going to go on.

"Too busy to keep in touch with the family?" Carla snapped, temper showing in the sharpness of her voice. "Honestly Pris, I haven't seen you in years, and neither has Gideon. And seeing you on TV does not count. You haven't even called or written. We live in the same town, for god's sake. I've barely seen any trace of my granddaughter, who I also haven't seen in years, by the way."

Priscilla's ears perked up at that last sentence and her mind raced to engineer the perfect speech. Immediately, she adjusted her voice and spoke in an pleasant tone. "That's actually why I called you," she stated diplomatically. Lies spun out of her mouth like spiderwebs, laced with ulterior motives and secret plans. And like a spiderweb, they entrapped the woman on the other end. "Pacifica has been so consumed with her studies for the past few years, I thought it would be good if she had a break. I was hoping that you could let her work for you this summer, since you aren't particularly well staffed. It would be a great chance for you to bond."

There was a long pause on the other end, and Priscilla wondered if her mother was able to see through her. If anyone could, it was her. But even if her speech had rung false in her mother's ears, she doubted the woman would pass up the chance to spend time with her only granddaughter.

"So, you want me to take your teenaged daughter off your hands " her mother asked, a hint of amusement in her tone that Priscilla wasn't particularly fond of. "Alright, I'll let her work for me. On one condition."

The word condition alone was enough to tense her muscles and cause an uncomfortable flexion in her fingers. However, despite an initial discomfort, Priscilla kept her composure, because this was her mother and she rarely had an ulterior motive that extended beyond extra family time.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked with a neutral but polite tone that never betrayed her emotions.

"Pacifica stays here at the shack, it'll be like summer camp," her mother chirped, and Priscilla could tell she was smiling on the other end. "Plus I won't have to waste gas money, driving her back home."

The idea of Pacifica sleeping in the musty old shack Priscilla had despised in her childhood, made her cringe with disgust. However, it lined up with her motive to keep her daughter out of her way for the summer. Besides, it would be a good learning experience for her daughter, experiencing how the lower class lives. Perhaps she would finally understand the difference between the Northwests and everyone else in this town. Perhaps she would return home and actually be grateful for everything Priscilla had given her.

So, despite the revulsion that twisted her stomach when she thought of her daughters perfect blonde locks resting on the stained and unkempt beds of her childhood room, Priscilla kept a cheery tone. But not too cheery and with just the right amount of tension in her vocals. "That sounds wonderful."

She could practically see the triumph in her mother's eyes when she replied. As if taking in a teenager for the summer was some great victory. "Swell, you can drop her off this weekend." With that Carla hung up the phone, probably feeling very proud of herself.

There was a twitch at Priscilla's lips when she hung up the phone. In another life, if she had been burdened with a lack of ambition like other pretty girls, she probably could have become an actress.

Xxx

A small group of shuffling tourists pilled into a small, dark room. A young boy stood at the front of the group, leading them further into the darkness. Once the last person entered the room, the door slammed shut behind them, startling the tourists inside. Even in the darkness, people were able to see the little boy's light up shoes and the glimmering rhinestones adorning his cap. He was the only thing their eyes could follow as he came to stand on a platform.

"Now y'all gather in close," the boy stage whispered, his southern accent ringing clear as a bell. "And listen well as old Clarabelle tells you the darkest secret of Gravity Falls. I suggest those of you with feint hearts cover your ears."

The group was collectively pulled in closer by the softness of his voice. They were gathered tightly together now. Each person whispering of either conspiracies, skepticisms or wonder at what they were about to hear. No one saw the large smile on his face when he spoke again. "Now try not to scream, old Clarabelle's in a ... delicate situation."

There was a click and a single spotlight shined on the stage. The sudden light source assaulted everyone's retinas for a moment, when their eyes readjusted to the light the group let out a series of gasps. The white haired boy stood atop a stage that was made to look like a creepy living room, with ancient looking furniture and spiderwebs hanging off of everything. There was a single rocking chair in the centre of the stage, and sitting on it was an old woman who's appearance caused some of the audience to tremble. She was tightly bound in an old fashioned straight jacket, that would have been white if it weren't for the questionable dark crimson stains that streaked it. Her hair was long, stringy and a mess upon her head. But the real terrifying thing was her sunken in, erratically shifting violet eyes.

When she looked upon the people before her, a crooked and wild grin found its way to her lips. She tilted her head to the side to show off the sharpness of her teeth, causing people to notice that she had long fangs in place of her canines.

"Well, hello there, dears," she crooned to the crowd in a sickly sweet tone. "It's so nice to see such fine people visiting our little town. This sleepy little town, with wholesome citizens and lovely sights. At least, that was what the uninformed would assume. But I know differently. There are shadows in the forests, shifting when you get close enough. Strange phenomenons that cloud this town's history. Why even in this ver-"

She paused, crazed violet eyes snapping upwards towards the ceiling. Her breath hitched as she stared ahead, her gaze not really fixed on anything. Everyone waited in anticipation for her to finish her statement, or perhaps for her to snap into a violent rage.

She slowly craned her head towards the audience, a smile stretching at her lips but not affecting her dead eyes. "Sorry dearies, it seems you've come to visit old Clarabelle at a terrible time. You see-"

The old woman was cut off by a sudden rumble beneath the stage. She glared down at the floorboards as if they had offended her.

"You see, tonight is the new moon and-" the woman tried again, though her character was slipping. Her voice was a lot louder this time but her words were drowned out when the mechanical rumble bellow to stage turned into a full fledged roar.

A trapdoor in front of the old woman's rocking chair opened up with a slam. Puffs of smoke poured out from the opening, accompanied by the sound of distorted dog growls. The now confused and horrified audience watched as something large and fury emerged from the stage.

An animatronic werewolf jumped up from bellow the stage, only its hide was on fire. It's hinged jaw jerked rapidly and the rubber skin and synthetic fur melted away as it was licked by the flames. The thing's voice box was damaged by the heat, and the long howl it was programmed to make became distorted. The screech it made sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

The tourists screamed, some of them feeling the heat from the very real and dangerous flames. This little scene had clearly gotten out of control, and no one wanted to stick around to see the damage that would come of this malfunction. The group fled the room in fear, rushing passed the gift shop and back to their cars. As a collection of cars sped away on the dirt road, no one in the line had an inkling to ever go back to the Mystery Shack.

The boy, who had been guiding the customers, had fled the scene to fetch a nearby fire extinguisher. Luckily, due to prior experience with combustible machinery, he was able to douse the flames in a few moments.

As the large clouds of smoke rose up from the opening, the animatronic flopped over lifelessly and it's rubber skin sizzled. The old woman fluidly slipped from the confines of her straight jacket and tossed it to the side. Upon finding the room barren of tourists, she cursed loudly. The boy's hands automatically shot up to cover his ears as the woman cursed over and over.

"I thought you said it wasn't going to catch on fire this time, Melody," Carla McCorkle snapped, yanking the itchy wig from her head and throwing it to the ground in disgust. She spent all month preparing for this werewolf bit and now all these rehearsals went to waste. Not only that, but all the paying customers had booked it out of there without so much as a tip.

"I'm sorry," a feminine voice called out from under the stage. From the trap door, a young woman emerged. Her face and clothes were coated in soot and her hair was severely disheveled. "I really thought I fixed all the problems but when I went to turn it on, there was this pop and then a flame sparked and everything just got worse from there. I'm really sorry Miss McCorkle, I think it had something to do with the-"

"I don't care how it happened, just get it fixed," she said, brushing past the bewildered and frantic young woman. She yelled at the top of her lungs. "Robbie! Robbie, get over here!"

When there was no response, Carla stormed out of the room and into the gift shop, only to find her cashier missing.

Pacifica sat before the cash register, counting the money, or rather the lack of it. When her grandmother entered the room with the fury in her violet eyes, she straightened her posture to put up a facade of alertness.

“What happened?” the blonde asked, a sculpted brow arched in confusion. “I saw everyone run out of there and I thought someone died or something.”

“Those people are wimps,” her grandmother growled, glaring out the window where she could just make out the tail end of the retreating automobiles on the dirt road. She turned to her granddaughter with a frown. “Where the heck is Robbie?”

“He went AWOL after all those people ran out without even buying anything,” Pacifica answered with a shrug, though she turned her head to gaze wistfully out the window, the way she had seen the cashier go. “He said he would be hanging out with some friends.”

“Lousy teenagers,” Carla grumbled, crossing her arms and glaring out the window. “This is coming out of his pay check.”

The young boy came running in, out of breath and grinning like they hadn’t lost out on a whole lot of money.

“Good news,” he chirped, and Carla looked towards him with a skeptical gaze. “Melody got the fire out. Bad news is she’s going to need a week to fix the werewolf bot.”

Carla groaned dramatically, raking her fingers through her thick grey curls. While she mumbled a string of curses to herself, her grandchildren shared a look of acknowledgment and subtly nodded to one another.

“Weeeellll,” Pacifica said, dragging out the word as she stepped out from behind the counter. “Since today was a bit of a bust and Melody is working on fixing the werewolf, Gideon and I were gonna go out for a walk in the woods.”

Upon hearing this, Carla to her granddaughter with a suspicious glare. She inclined her head in interest, searching for any hidden intent in Pacifica’s facial features or posture.

xxx

Gravity Falls wasn't the kind of place you would expect people to travel to on purpose. It was a small town, built on the lumber industry, with not much in terms of attractions. There was a grand total of four restaurants, two motels, and one mall. The town held some weird traditions and fostered a bunch of creepy local legends, but other than that it was basically a pit stop for weary travellers taking a road trip in the pacific north west.

xxx

The tree was cool to the touch, and had the texture of steel. The realistic paint job mimicked the colour and shadows of bark and had fooled Pacifica and Gideon into believing it was real.

Out of curiosity, she carefully ran her hand along the tree side. She paused when her fingertips caught on a small grove in the metal, indicating that there was some kind of opening.

Xxxxx

These were my chapter plans for play it in reverse - some are more thought out than others lol

Part Time Tourist, Full Time Trapped: Gideon and Pacifica go out to get pictures of something spooky, they come across gnomes. The gnomes find the two truss passing on their lawn and try to force one or the other into marriage. When they escape, the cousins stumble upon the third journal. They use it to escape the gnomes by summoning the manatoar to scare them off.

Once in a Waxing Moon: Pacifica finds a poster for the Mystery Museum's new wax exhibit. Carla flips her lid and immediately calls up Fiddleford Mcgucket to assemble a new attraction to beat out Stan. Pacifica and Gideon help Melody and Fids with the creation of the Gobblewonker. They do the painting. Pacifica meets McGucket for the first time and learns how Melody started working for Carla and how she became a mechanic. Like a try hard, Carla shows of fat the wax exhibit unveiling and shows up Stan with her gobblewonker. After an enormous explosion takes out everything, Paz and Gideon decide to find out who caused the destruction. With a tip from Wendy, they find out that Stan was around when the thing blew up. But that's weird because Carla and Stan were fighting at the time. Something Is sketchy so they go snooping around the mystery museum late at night for clues. They find out that it was actually Stan's wax figure that blew up the robot and they nearly get killed by some wax figures. Pacifica meets dipper Stan and Carla get into a fight and Paz gets some free tickets to the tent of telepathy.

There's Something About Mabel: Paz and Gideon and Melody go to the tent of telepathy. Mabel is interested in Gideon and approaches him with the intent of owning him. He's excited to be hanging out with her but he gets severely scared of her and has to put up some boundaries. This makes Mabel even more determined to have him and she starts pressuring him to date her and smothers him and nearly threatens him. Paz, seeing the effect Mabel has on Gideon, confronts her and tells her to lay off a bit. Mabel doesn't take this well and traps her at a factory and promptly tries to kill her. Gideon receives the ransom note, and tries to appeal to her better nature. He lets her down easy but Mabel goes full out horror show on him. Paz tries to rescue him but Dipper shows up and stops her. Dipper convinces Mabel not to kill Paz or hurt Gideon and she begrugenly follows him, not without threatening Paz on the way out.

Season of the Hand Witch: Gideon and Paz start panicking about the mystically powered twins and consult the journal for answers. They can't find anything on the mystic amulets but they do find info on a psychic witch who may have the answers to how they can defend themselves. They go to the handwitch who tells them how to make hex bags to stop the pines twins from using their powers on them.

Mabel goes to meet them at the shack and act threatening but finds she can’t use her powers. Pacifica is a bit gloaty about it.

Mabel goes to tell Dipper about how they got had. Dipper is surprised that Pacifica found away around her powers, and he’s impressed but not too upset. Its just a couple of kids after all. Sucks for Mabel tho. Mabel is like yeah it is unfortunate. Especially since Pacifica has the other journal. Dipper just screeches "WHAT?!"

The Art of Failing at Seduction: the party at the mystery shack, a birthday party for Stan thrown by Carla because she thinks its funny and she makes a big deal about advertising how old he is. Pacifica and Dipper share a confrontation when she keeps catching him sneaking around while she fails to put the moves on Robbie. He gets his hands on her journal but he is dumbfounded when he sees that it’s journal number 3. Dippy thought she had journal number 1, he had no idea there even was a 3rd journal lol. She hits him with a chair and gets the book away from him. He demands to know why it’s the third journal and where the first is. She has no idea what he’s talking about.

Pioneer Day: Pacifica and Stan are both mortified at the discovery that its Pioneer Day. Carla sets up a pioneer station at the shack to get more customers and to piss of Stan. Pacifica has to do the Pioneer Day speech every year.

Trick or Treat or Die: Pacifica pisses off the summerween trickster and then they have to collect a whole lot of candy.

Splash: Gideon falls in love with a magical manatee.

Worst Date Ever: Dipper somehow convinces Pacifica to investigate a series of disappearances around a convenience store. They end up needing to be saved by

Where Have All The Good Men Gone: Dipper and Robbie fight or not.

Something Wicked This Way Comes: Bill Cipher

Pacifica Northwest Vs The World: Dipper and Mabel get access to the Mystery Shack

Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite: zombie kareoke

It Must Be a Conspiracy: Pacifica and Dipper believe their relatives are up to something.

Experiment #210: Seuss melody date

Mind Swap:

What is Love?: love potion incident.

Witches Be Crazy: Lollipop, Taffy, bubblegum, candy

Ancient Sins: the haunting at Northwest manner forces Priscilla to hire Dipper and Mable to deal with it. Pacifica is pissed off when he shows up.

Order of the All Seeing Eye: the crew discovers a cult dedicated to cipher lead by blind Ivan and they all work to erase the memories of gravity falls so no one will stand in the way of cipher when he returns. They find out about how the portal will open soon, mcgucket finds out that the kids have his memory gun now.

My Soul to Take: Dipper gets his ass possessed. Bills like, well you’ve figured out too much already so we’re gonna destroy those journals of yours and kill all those that know about the impending portal.

No One You Can Trust: the crew tries to find out who could be trying to open the portal and it leads them to mcgucket stan and Carla.

The Thickness of Blood: the portal opens and Ford emerges. Mcgucket manages to contain the rift that had been created via the portal.

Last Ditch Effort: in an attempt to get the power away from the northwest’s, Stan runs for mayor.

Beginning of the End: Mable trades the rift for bill to no longer be able to possess her and her brother while allowing them to keep their amulets and magical abilities.

Weirdmagedon: The Final Temptation: Bill offers Dipper everything he could want so they can make another deal and so he will have dipper under his thrall.

Weirdmagedon: Into the Rift:

Weirdmagedon: The Way Is Shut: the blood is spilled in the circle

[owlight]

Trafalgar law x Gn!reader [reptiles are cool]

Summary: law is trying to get much needed sleep,but unfortunately to him ,(y/n) got other plans for the evening

Word count: 842 (: short but sweet

Tags: fluff,reader likes reptiles,Law is very sleepy but trying to be a supportive boyfriend , fun facts about reptiles,adhd coded reader ngl, not fully read proof

Also Thank u @nekomacheercaptain for listening to my lizards rant and for the the headers pics ily 💞🦭

Law lay on his bed, exhausted after a long few days of having to travel in Wano ,fight big mom and Kaido then having to deal with more mess after,he can't believe he is finely back on the polar tang for some actual rest. He closes his eyes, humming himself to drift off to sleep, but his thoughts kept wandering back to the events of the big fight,the last meeting with Luffy and his crew...tch he will secretly misses them....Just as he was about to slip into unconsciousness, he felt the bed shift as his lover climbed in beside him,With The energy of a rabbit for some reason

"Hey Law, are you awake?" his lover asked, their voice full of excitement,unlike everyone else,(y/n) time at Wano county could been described as a whole adventure of their dreams,they really enjoyed the country and they were so fascinated with Kaido Dragon form,they almost didn't move away from the fight and law had to room Thier ass to safety ,ever since the crew came back to the polar tang,(y/n) occupied themself in the library...law should have Guessed there was a reason for that

Law sighed, knowing that sleep was now out of the question,since (y/n) was clearly as awake as Luffy high on Sugar"What is it?"law asks as he keeps his eyes closed, perhaps hoping his lover would see him trying to sleep and have mercy on him

"I was reading about reptiles today and I wanted to tell you all about it" they said, bouncing with enthusiasm , clearly not noticing law trying to sleep,law almost snort at Thier enthusiasm it's so...giddy to witness,he open one eye to look at them,seeing Thier face basically glowing ,Law raised an eyebrow, not particularly interested in the subject matter but he wanted to humor them for now "Do you have to do it now?"he asks,voice sound bit too sleepy to his taste

"Yes, I have to tell you now! Before I forget" they exclaimed, grabbing Law's hand and pulling him into a sitting position,law groans as he sits ,he looks at his partner with as much as focus as possible"Did you know that some snakes can sense infrared radiation?"they tell law with so much excitement it threw law off his sleepiness for a moment,he blinked, trying to process the sudden burst of energy "No, I didn't...I didn't know that" he mumbles

"It's true ! It's so... interesting! Do you think a snake devil fruit user can do that too-actually and And did you know that most lizards can change color to match their surroundings?,that's why sometimes you see them looking colorful then out the blue they are kinda dim as they move around ,it's so cool that's chameleon are not the only ones in that aspect " they continued, their words tumbling out at a rapid pace ,law sleepy mind trying to catch up with them as best as he can,they continue "And some Some species of lizard will go their entire lives without drinking water! That's why there's so many lizards in alabasta living so freely!"

But you know Law couldn't help but be amused by their excitements about the subject Despite his exhaustion, he found himself smiling at their enthusiasm as they spoke,so much spirit and excitement, it's adorable in his opinion.."That's fascinating" he said with humor in his voice.

"I know, right?" they said, settling back against the pillows,law himself watches them laying down on the bed "There's so much to learn about them, I'm going to start a journal to write all about them from now on,from each island we visit,I have already few pages written down... it's going to be awesome" they tells him with excitement lacing Thier voice

Law leaned back against the headboard, then he moves to lay in bed,head hitting the pillow, he was feeling his eyelids droop as he spook"I'll have to take your word for it, let's talk more about it tomorrow shall we?right now I need to sleep before I end up speaking non Sense" law mumbles with tiredness in his voice

(Y/n) pouted, but reluctantly settled down beside him and Started cuddling him, Law wrapped an arm around them, feeling their warmth and the gentle rise and fall of their chest as their breath slowed down, showing they are going to be good for him for now and let him sleep,law closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep holding them tightly to him as they smiles gently closing Thier eyes as well joining him to sleep, law last thought and feelings was him feeling grateful for the presence of his lover, even if their interests were vastly different most of the time,he can't help but love them for how they are.

[potatowithahat]

Part two: A doctors Notepad

A sdv Harvey fic

Part one here

Summer 1, year one

       Well springs gone, which means most of the allergy complaints are fizzling out. I haven't seen The Farmer since the flower dance though. I'm not sure what's going on. Did I do something to make them not like me? I don't know. I'm too anxious to ask her. The Farmer is the first real friend other than Shane or Elliot I've had since moving here, and even then there really only drinking buddies. I think I'll wait for them to come to me.

                                             -Harvey, the doctor

Summer 3, year one

       Last night there was an awful crashing noise from up by Robin's. Maru was telling me all about it when the farmer came in with a coffee for me. I think this is the first time they've come to see me since the flower dance.  I was honestly ecstatic. But Maru and the Farmer both got really quiet and just looked at each other for a second. Then Maru shouted ‘I'm a lesbian!’ And they both burst out laughing. I still don't get the joke. Either way my prospects in this town are dwindling by the day.

       I suppose you and me have a long year ahead journal. Speaking of which I think I finally named you!!!!!! Ok, ok, hear me out…. Joseph List-er. Get it! Cause you're a Journal,  so I can list everything that happens to me. Its stupid anyway. Why am I still writing like I'm talking to you? This is too odd.

                                              -Harvey, the doctor

Summer 5, year one

Linus came in around two am last night with the farmer in his arms. I nearly fainted when I saw the injuries. I haven't seen cuts like that since I med school. I'm a medical professional though,  so I got her to the beds in the back and cleaned her up. In the end they needed twenty-three stitches on their legs and four in their head. It was awful. They finally woke up around three am, thank Yoba. As soon as they was up I was checking their vitals and pupils for dilation. I asked them for their name and they just asked me what I was doing. When I tried to explain I needed to check for a concussion and amnesia they looked me dead in my eyes and said: I heard a joke about amnesia once, but I forgot how it goes.

      It wasn't even a good joke, but I was practically beside myself laughing. I don't…. Yoba this is bad. They definitely think I'm crazy after that, I must have looked insane laughing so much. I fixed myself soon enough but I still… I don't know. I gave them the whole speech on keeping safe and wound care and she was on her way home before dawn. That was maybe twenty minutes ago,  so that's all you're getting for today. I need a nap.

                                          -Harvey, the fool 

Summer 10, year one

       Sorry about the slow entries last week. Jas and Vincent caught the flu and Shane has been practically shadowing me making sure they get better. It's the longest I've seen him sober in months. Regardless, I need to get better at updating this little guy.

       Anyway, the farmer came in in a panic today asking me ‘what the hell a luau is’. Apparently she's never been to one and got a letter from Luis explaining how the governor was coming into town for it. I laughed and explained the silly tradition. It's not like the governor's visit actually matters, he always comes back. After she was calmed down she asked what she should bring. I shrugged and told her I always bring beans because there a good source of protein. Half a cup of beans can provide about seven grams of protein,  which is the same as an ounce of meat.

      Sorry, I'm rambling again. Regardless, the Farmer left midway through my beans speech saying she had the perfect idea. It was quite odd. I guess I'll have to see what they bring to the event.

                                    Harvey, the doctor 

Summer 11, year one

       The luau was a huge success this year! The Farmer brought some hot peppers, and though it was a little too spicy for my tastes it was still delicious. The Farmer came and ate by me too. It.. was quite the evening. I was exhausted by the end though. My social battery certainly isn't what it used to be. I should really start going out more. Perhaps I should bring that up in my next session.

       Either way it's quite late now. I should probably get to bed… but… something about the Farmer bugged me today. They were so lively,  but everything someone else would talk to them they'd seem to dampen a bit. Like someone covered the sun in their eyes with a cloth. It.. it was a bit odd. I considered asking them, but I couldn't quite find a way to ask ‘Where does the light in your eyes go when you talk to…

       Oh… OH.. oh Yoba. I'm a fool. I.. oh dear

                                          -Harvey

Thank you so much for reading!!!

As always, my asks are always open, so if you liked this and have any ideas or requests please feel free to suggest something!!!

Also if you're interested in any of my other works you can find them all linked in my Pinned post! Also I have an Ao3, which you can find a link to there!!!

Any way I hope you enjoyed!!!

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry] pt. 6

read part 5 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: angst, discussion of suicide, obsessive compulsive behavior

a/n: this is sooooo lady macbeth coded. hope you enjoy!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

I go to the bathroom at least twice a period.

When I'm there, I make sure I’m alone. Then I do two things. First, I stare at myself in the mirror. I don’t break eye contact until I’ve sufficiently recalled the memory of Tara’s limp body in my peripheral vision as Ethan pulled me out of her room.

After that, I wash my hands at least three times, but it’s usually closer to seven. 

I left Tara behind four days ago. My hands are raw. I don’t know what to do. 

I can’t wash this feeling away. 

Still, it’s better than sending my SAT scores to San Quentin. Thank god for Ethan, because I don’t know what I would’ve done without him. “Sorry, officer, I accidentally poisoned my best friend after our huge public disagreement?” 

Sure, yeah, that sounds believable. I looked up the prison time for manslaughter, assuming the judge believes it was an accident, and I don’t have eleven years to spare right now. 

Talk soon.

Y/N

I close my diary and return it to my backpack for safekeeping. 

Mindy is still writing on the pieces of looseleaf the school counselor, Dr. Stone, provided her with. It appears that most people don’t keep a diary past the third grade, but some TED talk said that journaling can help process big traumas, and the school has been on that shit ever since. Luckily, they don’t ask to read the entries.

The school took away my friends’ and my free periods and sent us to the counselor’s office after the news broke of Tara’s “suicide.” Anika and Chad have to go alone, but Mindy and I have always had free blocks together. 

This group therapy has got to be some sort of cosmic punishment for what I did. Now I have to watch one of her oldest friends mourn, as if I wasn’t the one who let her die.

Mindy clicks her pen and slides the papers across to Dr. Stone. He takes them without looking, inserting them neatly into a file stuffed with previous entries. 

“Thank you, girls. I know that the past week has been… difficult, to say the least. I want you to know that this is a safe space, and you can freely share any emotions that this tragic event has brought up.”

Poor Dr. Stone. I know that he’s really trying, but there aren’t any emotions I can bring up that wouldn’t be incriminating. Guilt? Disgust? Fear? I sneak a glance at Mindy, who’s staring out the window. She’s silent, too.

Dr. Stone sighs. “I understand that this is all very new. Maybe we’ll feel up to talking tomorrow.”

The bell rings, and Mindy gets up without saying a word. I mumble a half-hearted “thank you” before following her into the hall.

“Christ, that shit sucks,” she says. “I hate fucking journaling.”

We turn down the hallway towards the gym, where Chad’s taking part in some sort of football conditioning at lunch. We’ve developed a habit of skipping halfway through the day to sit in his car. 

Mindy drops her bag and sits against the wall by the gym door. “It’s just so unfair,” she says. “I still don’t understand.”

I sit down beside her. “Don’t understand what?”

She’s quiet for a second. “I read the note. Tara said there wasn’t anyone left who cared about her. And that’s bullshit. I cared, and Chad cared, and Anika cared, and Sam cared, and you cared.”

Her eyes are brimming with angry tears. “Part of me is so, so fucking mad at her. Like, how could she leave us behind, after we made it out together? We were starting to get somewhere. She had that thing with Chad going, even if both of them were too dumb to realize. You were pulling in steady cash, thanks to me, so we could actually afford to get out of here. We talked about college in New York or something, far away from Woodsboro. There were all these goddamn plans.

“But mostly I fucking miss her, man. It’s barely been a week and I’m so… incomplete. And no amount of school counseling or journaling or whatever inspirational quote my homeroom teacher wants to share with me is going to fill the void she left behind.”

Mindy wipes away her tears. For the first time since we left Dr. Stone’s office, she looks right at me. 

“I know you had your fight or whatever the night before, and if that were me I’d be torn up about it. But seriously, Y/N, you had nothing to do with it. After everything with… Amber, last year, she needed a friend. One that she wasn’t trauma-bonded with, like Chad and me. And you showed up at the right time. She loved you, man.”

My head is spinning. I’m wracked with all sorts of conflicting guilt, grief, anger, whatever, and I can’t tell anyone about it. 

So I get up and start walking towards the nearby locker room.

“Wait, Y/N, what are you doing?” Mindy calls. I don’t answer.

I can hear her get up and follow after me, but it’s been at least two hours since I’ve gone to the bathroom. At this point, I don’t care if someone watches my regimen– I need to be clean.

Turning into the locker room, I make a beeline for the sinks. I get close to the mirror, close enough to make out my pores. and stare down my reflection. After that harrowing edition of a trademark Mindy monologue, it doesn’t take long for me to recall Tara’s face. I wash my hands once, twice, three times, four times.

“Jesus, Y/N, seriously, what are you doing?” Mindy watches from behind, her voice still shaky from crying.

Five times, six times, seven times, and it’s still not enough. I’m breathing hard at this point, but I can’t get enough air. There’s blood everywhere, all over me, my clothes, even on Mindy. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the showers. Perfect. I rush over to the nearest stall and turn the handle. 

I don’t undress before stepping under the showerhead, letting the freezing water overtake me.

taglist: @miawastakens

[fizzyxcustard]

Letter

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: None romantically. Lucas North x OFC (Amy Holland) platonically.

Summary: Amy writes a letter to Lucas in her diary. 

Warnings: Insecurity, angst.

Word count: 442

Comments/notes: This drabble is for @asgardianhobbit98's Four For Valentine event; week 2 with ‘letter’ prompt. Please consider reblogging if you enjoy. 

It had been six months now since Amy first caught sight of Lucas North, her colleague. He had sat opposite her in their daily meeting, the first of many that Amy would attend. As soon as Amy had clapped her eyes on him, she felt butterflies in her stomach. His voice was like velvet, wrapping around her so pleasurably. 

And now, she knew that she was feeling something that she had never felt before. His confidence, his kindness, his wit. Everything about him was perfection. Love? 

Amy sat in her living room, with her journal propped on her lap and began to write. 

Lucas, 

I feel stupid writing this. As if you’d ever like me. But my heart is always overflowing whenever I see you, and then that gnarly, twisted feeling of envy starts whenever I see you talk to Jo. You two would be so good together; both of you are gorgeous. I just sit there daydreaming that maybe one day you might actually see me in some other way that isn’t just as a colleague. I know we chat most days and you’ve even brought me coffee, but that’s just your kindness. I wish I was more; pretty, confident, enough for you. 

Every day that we talk and then you walk away, I feel like disappearing. I feel pathetic. 

Why did I have to like you? You’re the kind of man every woman would find themselves falling for, even us ugly ones. Of course ugly girls would love you. Then you would laugh in our faces, adding one more name to a long list of girls who fancy you. 

Amy dropped her pen in the centrefold of her journal and felt the tears drip down her cheeks. The pain of never being enough was all she could feel; it was like a heavy weight in her mind, and it constantly followed her around like a black cloud. And whenever Lucas was in the same room, it hit her so hard. Those negative feelings always made her feel like hiding away. Maybe someone would notice she’d left and go to look for her. Possibly Lucas? Pfft. She doubted it.

Low self-esteem crippled Amy, being like a constant visitor. Whispering. Waiting. It had only gotten louder since her break up with Adam. Now the voice began as a whisper, and by the end of the day, it was screaming at her. 

With a shaking hand, Amy reached for a cup of tea on her coffee table beside her. She took a deep breath and pictured Lucas in her mind: perfect, gorgeous. For once, a little spark flickered somewhere in her chest. 

Hope. 

[nine-blessed-hero]

A Light in the Darkness

Universe: TES IV: Oblivion (Vanilla) CW: Alcohol Words: 619 Context: Written for the @tescheer prompt "Lantern".

[Being an excerpt of Arkved of Cheydinhal's journal, c. 3E431]

The month of Morning Star is a drear and dreadful one. Even Anvil, jewel of the Gold Coast, is not immune to winter-tide storms filled with freezing rain and howling gales. The Abecean grows bitter and cruel under leaden skies, goaded by the winds to make rubble of the docks and soak through even the toughest oilcloth. The desperate weather, however, could not deter me from attending a most interesting event with my good friend, the painter Rythe Lythandas.

Attired in our glad rags and oilcloths, we ran through the sheeting rain from the Count's Arms to the Great Chapel of Dibella; for what better time than this dark and dreadful month to bring the light and cheer from a celebration of the Arts?

And cheer there was, in plenty! The church's main floor had been rearranged, with great trestles down the center and pews becoming seats at the feast table. And those pews were filled bursting with painters and playwrights, weavers and tale-spinners, artisans and lutists. The raucous crowd rhapsodized with animate flailing of limbs. Snatches of song, as took the players' fancy, filled the air. Laughter danced, sprinkled between lines of poetry.

The Sybil welcomed us in, bade us relax and find a place in the myriad company. I found my hand filled with a cup of mulled wine and with Rythe gayly beside me, took my time in admiring the chapel. It may surprise you, dear reader, that despite this chronicler's wide travels, I had yet to be inside this very chapel.

The chapel is a vast space, with arching hights – velvet-dark on this night of revelry – decorated in sheets of dainty lace. Planters of sunrise-coloured flowers adorned the altar, but what most struck me were the garlands of sacred lotus flowers. They hung suspended on threads of gold between the chapel pillars and, like joyful lanterns, glittered by some magical fancy. Under their soft incandescence, as if the hand of the goddess was laid upon my brow, I was filled with peace and awe at the marvels and wonder of our world. At my side, Rythe nudged me. "Committing it all to memory, eh?" "Indeed," said I, my gaze lingering upon them, "They're extraordinary in their holy beauty." "Take good note then, my friend. You can describe them to me anon, and I shall paint them for you." "Oh! You're the painter with the 'magic' brush," Rythe's neighbour cried, and Rythe turned away to converse with them, while my own – on hearing I was a scholarly adventurer – implored me to tell of my travels. And thus the night was spent in amiable chatter and the trading of stories; but ever did my eyes find those most sacred of blooms…

–––

Several months later, Rythe invited me to dine with he and his Lady wife, and bade me recount the glittering lotus blooms to her, her delighted smile widening as I spoke. As we were saying goodbye, he handed me a small rectangle, wrapped in cloth. I should not open it, said he, until I was at home. Dutifully I did so, and found to my most pleasant surprise a portrait of myself, gazing up at the golden blooms, my face dusted with buttercream light. It hangs in my study, mere feet from where I write now, lending me the joy of that night.

Although… I would swear to you, gentle reader, there is something otherworldly about it. On nights most foul, when winter has his firm and frozen grip upon the world, the painted blooms will glow with an echo of the revels in Anvil, dusting my room in Dibella's golden light.

[outlaw-apologist]

The Price of Cake - Charles x Reader

Charles Smith x Reader - Comfort and fluff

Summary: The grief of being an orphan never really goes away. You struggle with understanding your place in the gang as you search for comfort alone. Charles finds out just how much a small gesture of kindness can mean. (In which reader's mother is dead and Charles doesn't realize he's being a good friend)

TW: Grief, loss of a loved one, mental illness

Author note: I hate self deprecating ANs but I was so in my feelings while writing this I kinda wrote it like complete ass. It’s a cute story but- anyway, this one goes out to all my fellow orphans out there. Love u 

You had been on the road with the gang for awhile now, not even bothering to keep up with the ever-changing world. Time really flies when you're shootin' and robbin' folk. It wasn't until you were snug in your bedroll did you come to the realization that months and days matter. Some dates have more weight than others. It was going to drive you crazy not knowing what day it was today. Leaving your bed in pursuit of knowledge, you asked a few of the gang members who were still awake.

"I think it's a Tuesday." Said Javier as he idly strummed his guitar.

"It ain't a Tuesday! It's Wednesday." Bill swore.

Sean shrugged when you looked to him for help. "I'm not gonna lie to ya, I don't even know what month it is."

You love them, of course, but they're useless sometimes. Frustration began to set in. Did no one know the date? There was something important you needed to do. On a specific day. Though, you tried to swallow your feelings, reminding yourself that you had no one else to blame. It's your responsibility to keep track of important events and you failed.

From the corner of your eye you spot Charles who offered a kind smile. Knowing he was silently beckoning you over, you plopped down beside him.

"Hey Charles!"

"Good evening." He set his handiwork aside. Nowadays when lingering in camp Charles often made arrows and tonight was no different. "It's late, shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I was trying to sleep but then I remembered something." Charles leaned forward as if ready to hear your revelation. "Do you know the date?"

He chuckled in amusement, giving you a fond look. "I heard you asking around for it. It's the 13th. Monday, despite whatever Bill believes."

Opening your journal you flipped to the makeshift calendar you had drawn in the very back pages. It's been months since you kept track of the days and so it was rather empty as a result. Now it was decorated with the scratch of your pencil. Biting your lip you count the days of the week then sigh in relief. "Alright, I still have time." These words were only meant for you, uttered beneath your breath.

"What was that? I didn't catch you-"

"It's not important, Charles. Thanks for helping me out." While standing you brush your fingers over his shoulder with familiar affection. "Goodnight."

Smiling up at you, Charles bid you farewell with a little nod. "Sleep well."

That night your dreams were mixed with a faint awareness of plans you needed to make. What did you need to do to make your wish happen? The task you settled on was simple to celebrate this upcoming day was simple. It shouldn’t be stressful but it carried weight in your mind. This was a feeling you held in your chest as you rode into Valentine the next morning looking for a specific baked good.

"Sorry, we don't sell that. Perhaps try in Strawberry, they have folk from all over." The local baker waved you away.

From Valentine it took you two hours to ride into Strawberry. Upon asking around you managed to find a cute bakery hidden away from the main road.

"I'm sorry, we've never carried this. You might have more luck in the South." Was not what you wanted to hear, but it was what you received.

Sighing with frustration you decide to return to camp for the night. After tying off your horse glumly you carry yourself to the butcher's table. After today it probably didn’t hurt to just ask even though you knew it probably wasn’t possible."Mr. Pearson, do you know how to make a carrot cake?"

Pearson glanced up from prepping that evenings dinner with a questioning gaze. "Carrot cake? Yeah, I suppose it's not too complicated. But I don't have any of the right conditions."

"I see."

Watching as you visibly wilt, Pearson offered an apologetic look while you slunk away in defeat. How hard was it to find a damn carrot cake? It was just carrots and cake… right? This whole thing was going to drive you insane. Being an outlaw was hard when you need a specific cake. No home. No roof. Just sweet sweet freedom and a lack of baked goods.

Despite simmering in your heated thoughts, you notice Arthur and Charles had watched the whole interaction. "Watcha need a carrot cake for?"

"Hello to you too, Arthur." You dug into him playfully, causing the outlaw to roll his eyes. "No reason. I just really want one."

Arthur was no fool. He knew you long enough to know you wouldn't needlessly ask for such a thing. "Is that so? You check in town?"

"First thing this morning. They sent me all the way to Strawberry and they didn't have it either."

"To Strawberry!?"

"Yeah..."

"Sounds like quite the trip." Charles spoke up. His arms were crossed and he wore a pensive expression as if deep in thought about the subject. It almost made you laugh a little. He looked rather cute. It seems like you weren’t the only one trying to strategist the potential of purchasing this cake.

Shaking his head, Arthur looked between you and Charles. "That's some craving you got there kid. I'll keep an eye out for you, if it means that much. I don’t really go into bakeries and what not but I can make an exception for you."

"Thank you, Arthur. I genuinely appreciate it."

With that you felt a little bit better about the situation. After eating stew with Arthur and Charles you retired for the evening only to wake up early the next morning ready to saddle up. The great search was not over just yet.

It seemed like a long trip to Rhodes from Horseshoe Overlook. You took your time enjoying bright green trees and the bison roaming The Heartlands. The air was cold and dew collected over each individual blade of grass. Birds chirped wonderful melodies. It was nice. Peaceful.

It reminded you of a spring day long ago when you were only a child. You remember the seasonal chill settling over your skin as you ran towards your mother after playing outside. Memories like these only made you feel a sense of longing now. Longing for a life you'll never have. For your parent you'll never see again.

You still exist there with her in your memories. However, at the same time, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Most of the gang didn't have parents. You knew your situation wasn't special. You never made a fuss about it but it still hurt even at your big age. It was hard to think of what your life might be like if your mother never died. Would it be better? Would you be more comfortable in life? More successful? More loved? How would your mother view your choice to stay with the gang? You didn't know-

Pushing these thoughts aside, you suck in a shaky breath before things got too carried away. You didn't want teary eyes in public. Luckily the peace this morning brought has stayed with you as you entered Rhodes. Not many people were out this early making the town nice and quiet.

Hitching your horse outside, you strolled into the local bakery. "Mornin'. Do y'all happen to sell carrot cake?"

Kneading dough for the day, the baker didn't bother sparing you a glance. "Not in these parts. Most people make it at home."

Well... You didn't have a home. That thought struck your heart then and there. Maybe if your mother was still alive you'd have a home today… Swallowing back your emotions you give a quick 'thank you' before rushing out the door. Rhodes wasn’t the most convenient place to have gut wrenching thoughts.

It all seemed so silly now. Maybe it didn't really matter. It wasn't working out how you wanted. Still, something seemed so wrong about not celebrating her... You loved your mother more than anything. You still do even after all these years without her. A part of you knew she would understand if you didn't acquire the cake. But, that wasn't really the point. Your mother was gone. You're still here. This was for you.

Emotionally things become too complicated. Sorting your wildly brewing thoughts was almost impossible. Layers of hurt, anger, frustration, loneliness, and love clawed their way through your chest. You couldn't bring yourself to return to the gang right now. Couldn't face the new family who took you in. It almost felt like a betrayal to them, to your mother, to yourself...

Grief is a bitch. It was isolating. Devastating. It never truly goes away. Time heals all wounds? What a laugh. The only person who has ever truly loved you was gone. You still remember the last hug you ever received. It was her, your mother, who hugged you. The warmth of her embrace mixed with the faint recollection of her scent was a prized memory. Over the years you've never met a friend or lover who has dared to genuinely care for you without strings attached. Never will you experience that level of love again.

The realization of how alone you always feel was making you spiral. Despite joining the gang and seeing everyone often you still felt a sense of forlornness. You needed time. Distance. Maybe it was counter intuitive when you decide to pitch a tent for the night in a pretty field in Lemoyne. As night fell you stared into the flames of the fire you built, making out dancing pictures of all those you've loved and lost. Staring up at the starry night sky only made you feel small and insignificant. Realizing nothing was going to release the grip this glum mood has on you, you decide to put yourself to bed.

Days passed with no sign of you in camp. You needed breathing room between you and the Van Der Linde gang. Even though this was all conjured up, probably with lying thoughts picking at your insecurities, you didn't feel mentally well enough to return just yet. Instead you spent your days searching around Saint Denis for the elusive carrot cake.

The universe had other plans for you, it seemed. Some bakeries didn't sell it. The one you found that did sell it was sold out and didn't expect to make a new one in time. You lounged outside of your little camp in Lemoyne crossing off another in the back of your journal. Fighting with the beastly thoughts tormenting you. Finding peace among the rabbits that frolicked through the emerald grass every morning.

You missed your friends. You missed the gang. You weren't sure if they missed you or even if they loved you. Everyone claimed you were their family, but what is family to a group of orphans? What does family mean to any of them? What does it mean to you? Well... You hadn't quite figured that out yet. But, you did know your heart ached for them terribly. You wanted nothing more than to eat Pearson's shitty stew while listening to Javier play guitar. To enjoy the day sitting next to Charles as he worked. Fuck with Arthur whenever he would return to camp. Maybe they weren't your family but they were your community and you needed them like flowers need water.



Kicking dirt over the fire, you deconstructed your tent and set off just as the sun began to rise painting the clouds purple and orange. The desire to watch the water glow and the clouds move before the colored light fades was too great. You found yourself stopping your horse on a hill overlooking Flat Iron Lake. Simply taking in the morning. Appreciating life.

That's when the sound of your name floated on the wind which was uplifted by the early morning silence and the sounds of song birds. "There you are!" Explained a deep voice, the owner of whom sounded relieved. Glancing back idly your eyes land on Charles Smith. "You're a hard person to find. I've been tracking you for a whole day." He did look a little haggard, pulling the reigns so Taima would come to a stop beside your horse.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be gone for so long. Did Dutch send for me?" Tilting your head you noticed the meek smile Charles wore.

"No. I was looking for you because there's something I wanted to give you- Are.. Are you doing okay?"

You probably looked awful judging by the concerned way Charles stared you down, examining your disheveled appearance. You squirmed beneath his gaze and looked away shyly. He quickly realized there was something you didn't want to talk about. Deciding to respect your comfort he dropped the subject and instead pulled out a small package from his satchel. "I remembered you were asking around for a carrot cake."

"No way!" Your head whipped around, eyeing the small paper parcel Charles held out in the palm of his hand. Accepting it with excitement your fingers made quick work of the string binding the baking paper. The paper flopped out revealing a small simple carrot cake. All you could do was stare at it. "How...?"

"I met a woman who needed help repairing her wagon. She asked me how she could replay me and I asked her if she could make a carrot cake for you."

What an incredibly kind gesture, you thought. "Charles... I... You really did that for me?" Your teary eyes locked with Charles' gentle gaze.

"Of course! It seemed like you really wanted one. I thought it would make you happy. Unfortunately it’s a little small, she didn’t have ingredients for a full cake."

Shaking your head you divide the cake into two pieces. "Share it with me."

Charles hesitated, watching the cake crumble in your hand as you offered it to him. "Are you sure? You looked so hard for it and if I eat some you'll only get a few bites." He didn’t want to take this away from you. In camp you had looked so defeated when telling him about it. Charles wanted you to savor your treat.

Shaking your head you insisted, making Charles reluctantly accept half. "It's not really about the cake." You admit, earning a quizzical look. It felt weird divulging information about this aspect of your life... But Charles... The fact that he went out of his way to get you a carrot cake despite not knowing how important this truly was... You realize he cherishes you. And all those sneering thoughts were dispelled from your head. You were loved and Charles was your family.

"My mother's favorite cake growing up was carrot cake. It's her birthday and... I just miss her a lot I guess. I wanted to celebrate her and I thought what’s better than eating her favorite cake? It would make me so happy if you ate some too. Especially since you went out of your way just to get this for me. I can't even express my gratitude, Charles. Thank you."

His face immediately softened. Your name sweetly left his lips when Charles realized you were crying. Fat salty tears glided down your cheeks pulling at his heartstrings. He genuinely had no idea how much this meant to you. Charles felt honored you decided to share this moment with him. "I guess she really wanted you to have this cake." He tried to comfort you. "Thank you for letting me celebrate with you. I never... Considered doing something like this for my mother. I don't know when her birthday is but I think it'd be nice to pick a day to honor her."

Wiping your tears away you silently place a bite of carrot cake on your tongue while watching the sunrise with Charles. "If you want, I'll do it with you. It's lonely doing it by yourself." The two of you exchange knowing smiles. "I'm happy you're here."

"I know I'm not very good with words, but I'll always try to be here for you."

"I know, Charles. Thank you."

The sun rose higher in the sky, bathing the world in yellow light as the hues of pink and fire fade from view. "Tell me about her. Your mother." Charles knew you weren't ready for this moment to dispel and you were grateful for it.

"Well, she was kind. Much kinder than I. I mean, I'm an outlaw." Charles laughed, nodding his head in understanding. That statement applied to his mother too. Naturally drawn to each other, you find yourselves recounting childhood memories for the rest of the day. Eventually setting a blanket out beneath a tree where Charles draped his arm over your shoulder to keep you close. You told stories of your upbringing while he shared things his mother had taught him. You both laughed and a few tears were shed.

Grief is hard. It's personal to everyone. It can make you feel isolated or hopeless. Angry at the world. There was no greater feeling than someone who listens you. Who tries to understand you. No greater feeling than realizing you are in fact deeply loved and cherished. Charles will always be close to your heart. For as long as he lives he too will carry on the memory of your mother with him as you now carry the memory of his. Even though they're gone, they'll never truly die as long as you celebrate them.

[anitalianfrie]

i'm curious about any commentary you have about this is a love story 👀

beside the like,literal hours i spent trying to code that fucking thing, i realized after the first article and maybe, three posts that i needed a plot. or at least, a resemblance of a plot. a sequence of events that would happen and that then had to be filtered through the social media lens and through the eyes of the characters. I had to build the reconciliation organically, i couldn't just write ten posts on them and call it a day because then it wouldn't have worked.

Luckily our community was of great aid in this, and a lot of the posts i put in it, like reblogs or quotes, were directly taken from my dash around the days i wrote that specific section of the story. Like, when we where having the collective leatherboys breakdown, i decided to put it in the story. or the motogpconfession one, i think i wrote it the day after adora unearthed those posts.

i had a piece of paper on which i wrote down all the events i wanted to happen and then i assigned a race/time period to it. I ended up sending vale to like, eight or nine races in the process but i think i was able to cut it down to seven in the fic. Also i refused to check any of the wec races because it could have ruined everything (and it would have, because i'm pretty sure he will race the same weekend as sepang). i was already going crazy reworking the instagram skin, the wec schedule was not going to be my problem.

one of the most difficult things to write was the rockstar au (that now i love very dearly) because. i didn't know what to write about. I knew i needed to put an au in the story, simply because our community is so profilic in writing them, but i had literally zero ideas. i swear to god, i went on an alternate universe generator site and cliked generate about a thousand times before i got this idea.

the non-text most difficult thing i did was enea's gifs because i used my phone and the app sucked majorly. 0/10 do not recommend that's the reason he's the only one i giffed and then simply reblogged repsol-ariel.

also, all the posts i took from tumblr, so reblogs and such, are actually from the blog with the username i wrote in the fic. in some cases their pfp is also the one of their blogs (this ended pretty soon tho because i was about to kill myself so i simply got random pictures on pinterest)

the easiest article to write was gogue's, even if it was the longest and more complex, because i'll be honest i'm really not made for dry sport journalism. I'm quite proud of it, actually. Describing him talking about Valentino was one of my favourite things, but also I loved the possibility to write glimps of his relationship with Alex.

also: i wrote vale's interview for skyITA after marc and bez's incident in italian and then translated it. i started writing it in english, but then i realized it wouldn't have worked, because i was thinking with the english sentence structure. So i thought: what could valentino say? and wrote it as if he was talking, pauses and not-ended sentences. then i took that and translated it the same way i do when i translate proper interviews or videos, changing the phrasing as little as possible. It was quite fun to do.

(also: cuntress-supreme's username was actually inspired by your username :)) )