#beshert

[accidentallybeshert]

Accidentally Beshert by The Kosher Serial Chapter One

“Chaim Leider, 25, from Cincinnati, OH. Went to WITS, currently in college for accounting in Bergenfield, NJ. Picture attached.”

I had no idea who this guy was, but his shidduch resume just appeared in my google drive one day. So… sign from Hashem? Or just plain creepy? I searched every possible way I could think of that his resume might have come to me, but I couldn’t seem to trace it at all.

I considered deleting it…. He was kind of cute, though.... 

In the end I just ignored it. I’d even forgotten that it was there until the odd occasion where I went searching through my google drive for something and came across it again, each time more befuddled than the time before. WHERE had it come from??

I had this one friend who was always trying to set me up with random guys, but when I'd come across this doc the first time six years ago, she'd denied having any knowledge of who he was or having sent the resume to me.

So… definitely creepy. But… also, maybe a sign from Hashem.

I sat there squinting at it for probably the 5th time in as many years, wondering for the millionth time who he was, where this document had come from, and... if he had ever gotten married.

He’d be about 30 or 31 now, I thought to myself, trying to picture him several years older than the included photo.

“Hey, Miri, what are you doing?” My sister was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed. Her expression was accusatory, like she thought she might have caught me doing something sketchy. “Who are you ogling, there?”

I immediately closed the tab in my browser, switching back to something less conspicuous. “What are you even talking about?” I countered, my heart starting to race, though I wasn’t sure why. It’s not like I was actually doing anything wrong.

At the question, my sister began to smirk. “Ok, sure. Details. NOW.” She demanded. For someone three years younger than me, she always seemed to have an air of authority that I could never seem to muster.

“I’m not ogling anyone.” I said, trying to sound like that statement was even remotely true.

She just chuckled back at me. “Liar. You should have seen your face.”

For a moment I sat there, affronted. Had I been making a weird face? No... I didn’t think so, anyway. “What? My face wasn’t doing anything weird.”

“Dude. You practically had drool coming out of your mouth,” she said, mimicking a slack jawed drooler, her tongue sticking out.

“Oh, shut up!” I grabbed a throw pillow and aimed for her head. “I did not!”

“Hey!” she yelled, unfolding her arms to pick up the pillow and throwing it back at me. “Do you actually think your actions right now are those of an innocent party?”

Ok, she had a point there. But I couldn’t give an inch. “So, you can dish it, but you can’t take it?”

She shook her head at me with mock disappointment. “Hon, verbal assault is never an excuse for physical retaliation.” God, she sounded so much like our father, the lawyer.

I rolled my eyes and turned my back to her. “But you admit there was some unnecessary violence in your own words.”

“Whoa,” she said, walking into my room. “No one said anything about violence. But you’re changing the subject. Who was the dude you were ogl— ok, fine!” she held up her hands defensively when I glared at her. “The guy you were staring at?”

“Ugh. It’s nobody.”

“Well, if it’s a nobody, it was clearly a somebody.”

“What?”

She laughed. “Just telllll me! Or I’m telling Ima you have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, sure. Like Ima would ever believe that.”

“Um, I interned with Abba for a semester,” she said, pointedly. “I’m sure I could make a convincing argument.”

Yep. That was true. Had been our whole lives. The internship aside, Dina had always had a natural ability to craft and win any argument. It was super annoying.

“Whatever.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Whatever is a loser’s final word,” she mocked, still smirking.

I rolled my eyes at her again, “WHAT. EH. VER.”

“Well, if you seriously don’t care, I think I’ll go have that chat with Ima right now…” she teased, as she started back towards the door.

“You’re not going to really do that,” I said, unsure of the words, even as I spoke them.

“Try me,” she said, mischief written all over her face.

“Dina!” I yelled at her back, warningly, as she practically skipped away.

“Ohhhh, Ima!” I heard her call out as she disappeared into the hallway outside my room.

“DINA!” I stood up and rushed to the door. “Fine!! I’ll tell y—“ I broke off as I marched through the door and saw her standing in the hallway, arms crossed again grinning at me.

“Ima’s not even home,” she said, one eyebrow cocked with a satisfactory smirk. “Now spill!”

I threw my head back in exasperation and groaned as I marched back into my room with Dina at my heels. She was infuriating. “You exhaust me.”

“Yeah, but you love it,” she laughed. “So, nu? Who’s the guy?”

“Chaim Leider, 25, from Cincinnati, OH. Went to WITS, currently in college for accounting in Bergenfield, NJ.” I recited from memory as I sat back on my bed and pulled my computer over. One ctrl+shft+t later and Chaim’s face was staring back at us.

“Oh, cool. Seems a bit young for you though. Did someone redt him to you?” She leaned over my shoulder to see the resume.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged.

Puzzled, she turned her face towards mine and was so close I had to lean back to see her. “What?” She asked, confused.

“What what?” I asked.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I honestly have no idea.”

She leaned back. “How could you have no idea? Where did you find his resume?”

“In my google drive.”

“So… someone sent it to you.”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?”

Ugh. Sibling conversations are always so annoyingly circular.

“You know, as a previous lawyer in training, I’d have thought your skills at getting info from people would be a bit better,” I said, matching her annoyance.

She rolled her eyes. “I just don’t understand. If you have his resume in your google drive, it must have been an attachment from someone. If it was an attachment, shouldn’t you know who sent it and why?”

“You’d think,” I shrugged again. “But it was like six years ago.”

​”Wait, what?” Now she looked as bewildered as I felt every time I opened the file. “You’ve had this thing for six years?”

“Yep.”

“And you just..." She raised her eyebrows at me. "Pull it out and stare at it?”

“No!” I blushed. “I forget it’s there and only come across it every so often when I’m searching my drive for something else.”

She didn’t look convinced. “Well, he’s probably married at this point," she said, leaning forward again to read the screen.

“Probably.”

“So, why haven’t you deleted it?”

“I’m not really sure,” I confessed. “For several months I tried to figure out where it had come from and when that didn’t work, I kinda’ forgot it was there.” I shrugged. “Like I said, every so often I come across it again and it just irks me that I have no idea how it ended up in my drive.”

Dina leaned back. “Weird.”

“Yep.”

“Have you googled him?”

“What? No.” 

“Why not?”

I had no answer. 

“Don’t you think it’s kinda’ creepy to keep pulling out this picture of a random dude who could totally be married and putting his oldest into, like, elementary school?”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

“Look, you should at least figure out if he’s married.”

“Why? Would that make it any less weird?”

She shrugged, “I dunno. Maybe.”

I stared at her for a moment, contemplating. 

“Dude!” She said loudly. “DO IT.”

“Like now?”

“Miri, how daft can you be!? Yes, now!” she practically yelled, pointing at the screen.

“FINE!” I shouted back at her. I opened a new tab and paused at the search bar. 

“What do I even search?” I said aloud.

Dina sighed. “You know, sometimes it’s so hard to believe you’re an adult.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Obviously the info you just said to me!” She said, exasperatedly. “His name and location for starts. Maybe even add in the word engaged or mazel tov in quotation marks to see if any simchas pop up.”

I turned back to the screen and typed in [“Chaim Dovid Leider” “Ohio”] and waited for the results to load. Nothing. I tried [“Chaim Dovid Leider” “WITS”] and still got nothing. 

“Huh.” Dina said, disappointed. “That’s so bizarre. Try it without the middle name.”

I tried again without the name Dovid and still got nothing. 

“Miri!” Dina looked shocked and excited by this lack of development. “This is SO WEIRD!”

“I know!” I said, eyes over-exaggeratedly wide. “I have no idea who this is or where this came from!”

“Miri! We have to find this guy!” Dina’s excitement level was rising, which was never a good thing for me. 

“Dina! No, we don’t!” I said, mocking her excited tone.

“MIRI! YES WE DO!” She was practically hopping up and down on my bed now. 

“Dina! No! Down, girl!” I admonished her, trying to temper that excitement.

“OMIGOSH, MIRI! This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened! Who is this guy!? How did his resume end up in your drive!? It HAS to be a sign from Hashem!”

“Yeah, it’s weird, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a sign from Hashem. Like you said, he could be married.”

“But there’s only one way to find out! We have to find him!”

“And how on earth would you even go about doing that?”

“A nation-wide search, obviously! Omigosh, it would be like the reverse Cinderella! How cute would it be if he’s still single and pining away for YOU!” Dina leapt off my bed and started pacing excitedly. 

“Dina, first of all, how would he even know who I am. That’s absurd. Second, this is in no way a Cinderella or… reverse Cinderella? And third, there’s no way to do a nation-wide search for someone who doesn’t even show up on google.”

“Miri, what if HE got YOUR resume randomly in his dropbox or something!?”

“Ok, now you’re off in fantasy land.”

“Or maybe you’re just too much of a cynic,” she said, stopping her pacing to turn to me and shake her head. “Where is your emunah!? Hashem can do ANYTHING! Why couldn’t He do this?”

“I’m not saying Hashem couldn’t do this, I’m just saying He didn’t. It’s… ridiculous. Impractical.”

Dina looked at me incredulous. “Miri, that’s what nissim are. They’re ridiculous and impractical. And also miraculous and beautiful and amazing!”

I rolled my eyes again. Obviously she was right. But not about this. She couldn't be. Just because I got his resume randomly, weirdly, in my online storage doesn’t mean he had mine. Things didn’t work like that. And even if they had, clearly he didn’t want to meet me, since he hadn’t taken the time to google and reach out to me either. I mean, I was at least on facebook and had a business website, totally google-able.

“You’re so ridiculous,” was all I could say, rolling my eyes.

“You’re just saying that because you know I’m right,” she said, smiling at me knowingly. 

“Ugh. Please just drop this.” I said, closing the tab again.

“Fine,” she said, turning on her heel and heading back out the door. 

But that had been too easy. I had a feeling this would not be the end of this conversation…

[thekosherserial]

Welcome!

Hello new friends!

I am an Orthodox Jewish woman in my mid-30s and I love writing, but just never seem to get around to doing it consistently. I'm hoping that starting this project here will incentivize me to write more and share the stories that are always being developed in my head.

Each story will have its own blog so you can read straight through on one page, but I will also share the updates for each of story to this blog so you can keep up to date with new additions and chapters.

This post will remain pinned to this blog and I will update it with the links to each blog as the stories develop.

Also, please comment on each post with your ideas and opinions! I do have thoughts for where the stories will go, but as they are being developed, there are still so many possibilities and directions, and I would love to incorporate things you guys would like to see/read!

(And don't be afraid to point out inconsistencies and typos, because those will help me become a better writer, but please be nice about it!)

Happy reading!

❤️ The Kosher Serial

Feel free to support these projects here: https://buymeacoffee.com/thekosherserial

LIST OF STORIES:

Accidentally Beshert - currently one chapter (3/2/25)

When Miri stumbles upon a mysterious shidduch resume in her Google Drive, she’s drawn into a web of intrigue involving a man who seems to exist only on paper. As her sister digs deeper into the mystery, Miri's life is about to take an unexpected turn — is it Divine intervention, or just a series of strange coincidences?

In Its Right Time - currently one chapter (3/2/25)

Nechama, an "older single" with a deep fear of commitment, is shocked when the boy she once babysat returns—now a man who seems nothing like the child she remembers. As their connection deepens, she must confront her own insecurities and realize that love might be simpler than she ever imagined.

Through The Lattice - currently one chapter (3/5/25)

A strong-willed woman takes on a reclusive mogul with a dark past, challenging him in ways he never expected. As their worlds collide, he begins to make peace with his past and learns to forgive those who hurt him—transforming both of their lives.

In The Shadows - currently one chapter (3/5/25)

In a dystopian future, two Orthodox Jewish teens, Dassi and Max, find themselves on the run after their communities are mysteriously taken. As they navigate a world of secrets and danger, they must protect their faith in a world that threatens to destroy it.

Drawn Together - currently two chapters (3/19/25)

Filling a sudden void in his life with evening classes, Jon finds an unexpected spark with his professor, Abby. Years later, a chance encounter gives them a second shot at connection, just as Jon's past threatens to repaint his future.

Jar of Hearts - currently two chapters (4/01/25)

For years Shira has leaned on her best friends, Tomer and Ayalah, but when their perfect marriage crumbles and unexpected feelings surface, she must learn to navigate love, loss, loyalty, and the courage to follow her heart.

A Love Like Hers - WIP (coming soon)

Shoshana envied her best friend's perfect life—until fate, and her best friend, rewrote the ending.

The Secret Crystal - WIP (coming soon)

In a world where status and wealth dominate, Yehuda, a young man of spiritual depth, is drawn to Chanala, a humble girl with a secret heritage.

----------

Disclaimer: This blog includes works of fiction. Any names, characters, places, and events are purely the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, real-world locations, or real events is purely coincidental. Additionally, any similarities to existing fictional characters or works are unintentional and not meant to infringe on any copyrights.

[yafookinlousah]

Happy Alexander Claremont-Diaz Day to all who celebrate!

Or: Happy birthday to the two people who gave us ACD's character 😉

Inspired by:

Played by:

Happy 32nd, Louis & Taylor!

[justsomeguycore]

the last guy i hooked up with had scratched his cornea while cutting timber with a chainsaw without protective eye wear. i met him because i was vibing outside prior to a house improv show and he climbed out the window (his brother’s bedroom, i later found out) to avoid the living room (where all the improvisers were). he was like 6’4’’ and heavy and had an eyepatch. i was like this is soooo a romcom. we ended up making out on the beach and saw a legit comet ?? anyway the next week we hooked up again when his eye had healed and he was freshly showered and he drove me a good distance to get me home for thanksgiving and let me play taylor swift in his truck. things sort of fell apart not long after that due to what i’ll call “personality incongruity” but i remember him mostly fondly. he’d briefly been in jail for drunken property destruction but hes sober now

[weirdgirlvampire]

I saw mitski on friday. Insane

[splendiforouslife]

Pure Authentic Enthusiasm

I saw pure, authentic enthusiasm from caring middle schoolers today… They could so easily understand (better than most adults) how they could have an impact on a peer’s life by spending their time intentionally creating, both through words and crochet, a gesture of kindness with Med Snugglers. When I spoke about my background in mental health administration and that I helped the helpers…

[potpourri-of-ecclecticism]

RUNNING POINT (2025–) 1.05 "Beshert" dir. Thembi Banks

[mariacallous]

Three single Jewish men sat next to each other onstage. One nursed a mostly-empty beer and scratched his graying stubble while another readjusted his kippah. To their right, separated by a blue divider, the bachelorette — wearing hot pink pants and sorting through a stack of cue cards — sat on her own.

Those in the audience at Caveat, a venue on the Lower East Side, knew what the contestants looked like, of course, but the bachelorette on stage did not. Nor did she know the men’s occupations or their names — nothing that could create any preconceptions. All they knew were each other’s voices, and their shame-free answers to some of life’s most personal questions.

From the men’s responses to probing questions — including “What Jewish icon was your role model growing up?” and “How many times have you been in love?” — the bachelorette would pick one man to have a dinner date with at a local Jewish restaurant. 

Welcome to The Jewish Dating Game, a monthly live show that’s inspired by the long-running 1960s game show “The Dating Game.” This live, Jewish version of the game was launched in July by actor and writer Linnea Sage. Sage’s goal is to help contestants — and audience members — find their beshert, or soul mate. 

What sets The Jewish Dating Game apart from a non-Jewish one? “I don’t think it would be as funny,” Sage told the New York Jewish Week. “At the end of the day, Jews have something special. We’ve got some pizzazz, you know, that I think is just endearing and entertaining to watch regardless.”  

At Caveat on a Monday evening last month, the night’s bachelorette, Dina Plotch, excitedly dove into her questions, which had been written by Sage. “Ooh, this [question] is super important —  do or die,” she said after flipping to the cue card of her liking. The audience of approximately 75 “Jews and allies,” as the event’s description reads, waited with bated breath. 

She leaned into her microphone: “Did we free Britney [Spears] too soon?” 

“I don’t totally know what you mean,” Contestant 1 responded, with unabashed honesty that earned the room’s loud applause. Contestant 3 chimed in, saying he’d seen the documentary about Spears’ conservatorship and that “it seemed like we did it at the right time.” 

Finally, Contestant 2 brought it all home: “To be honest with you, I go with bachelor number one’s answer. Because whatever is meant to be is meant to be, and you know what? God has a plan, and when she’s meant to be free, she’s meant to be free.” The audience went wild.

The idea for the Jewish Dating Game came to Sage while she was stuck in a creative rut this past spring. She and her husband, Paul Skye Lehrman, who co-produces the show, are both voice actors — and in May, the couple sued an A.I. company that cloned both of their voices without their permission. 

“I had this huge reckoning with like, ‘What am I doing now for the rest of my life?’” Sage said. “Because the industry is changing so drastically.” Hosting The Jewish Dating Game, she added, has allowed her to tap into her background in theater and improv comedy.

Sage said she was also inspired by a growing need for involvement in the city’s Jewish community after Oct. 7. “I so quickly felt like I needed to be around my people as often as possible, and in as loving ways as possible,” she said. 

She was already attending Jewish events organized by friends. “But I didn’t really think that that was going to be any part of my career,” Sage said. “I thought I was just sort of an attender.” 

At large Shabbats organized by SHIUR — a group that aims to take “the ancient Jewish practice of text based discourse integrated with space, ritual, and practice to the world of art, diplomacy, culture and more” — she’d befriend other women who, as soon as they learned Sage was married, would ask to be set up with someone. “I would literally spend the rest of the evening shuffling nice Jewish boys in front of these women,” she said. “And like a live Tinder swipe, they’re just like, ‘Left, left, no, forget it.’ And I’m like, ‘Can we give these people a chance?’ Like, so much of attraction is based on getting to know somebody.” 

Her Shabbat matchmaking attempts helped inspire The Jewish Dating Game — specifically, its focus on values and personalities rather than looks. But her “a-ha moment” happened when she literally woke up in the middle of the night with the idea. Sage, as she normally does when she dreams up an idea, went back to sleep. “If I wake up in the morning and I still remember it, then it was worth remembering,” she said.

Sage woke up still thinking about the idea — and she hasn’t stopped since. “I feel like the people on ‘Shark Tank,’ who are like, ‘This is my baby and this is all I do now,’” she said. “I literally don’t stop thinking about it.”

In July, Sage put on the first edition of The Jewish Dating Game, inspired by the matchmaking show that in 1978 infamously featured a contestant who later pleaded guilty to seven counts of murder. Said Sage, “I try to screen my contestants enough that I know they’re not serial killers.”

Other than refraining from murder, singles interested in a spot onstage must complete a submission form that asks for information like their line of work, level of religious observance and what they’re looking for in a partner. Then, after completing social media background checks and getting a feel for the candidates’ personalities, Sage uses her “yenta magic” to concoct a lineup with compatible pairings.

Plotch, the November bachelorette and full-time social worker who also acts, said she was excited to be featured. “I love being onstage and I date Jewish boys, so like, why not?” she said. 

Plotch said the answer to the Britney Spears question is what clinched her decision. “Obviously, as a lady of a certain age, [I] grew up with Britney as the be-all and end-all,” she said, adding that she took notice that one of the bachelors was not only aware of Spears, but had even seen her documentary. “I felt that that was a sign that this was my beshert — or at least beshert for the evening.” 

Earlier that night, the audience had been treated to a fun surprise. During Round 1 of the game, which featured a bachelor interviewing three bachelorettes, one of the contestants was Harmonie Krieger, a star of the Netflix series “Jewish Matchmaking.” Krieger, who’s since become a dating coach for the Lox Club, a Jewish dating app, said she had an “amazing” night — though she wasn’t kidding herself about her connection with the bachelor. 

“Listen, from the beginning, I knew that guy wasn’t my type,” she said in an interview after the show. “He said, ‘I’m not really an island [vacation] person,’ and I’m like, ‘Oh no. This is not gonna work.’”

While not ultimately a winning contestant, Krieger expressed the importance of an event that facilitated Jewish matchmaking in a time of rising antisemitism. “I’m Reform, I never grew up like I had to marry Jewish,” she said. But since Oct. 7, her view on the matter has shifted. “And now I feel such an inclination to, almost like, do my duty and carry it on.”

Beyond the matchmaking, Sage said her goal for the show is to provide “a night of Jewish joy” for all involved. Lehrman, Sage’s husband, said he’s seen that vision come to life. 

“It’s not the easiest time to be publicly Jewish,” Lehrman said. “And the foundational thing for this show is there’s always a moment in the evening where I look up and see the audience, and there’s this feeling where people have allowed their guard to go down.”

Following two rounds of matchmaking, the house lights came on and audience members roamed the theater to mingle. People lined up to introduce themselves to contestants as if they were newly anointed celebrities. The room was abuzz with not only singles looking for a date, but also couples who were just there to enjoy the show. 

Zach, 38, who attended with his wife, said he felt like “automatically, everyone’s already a friend you could talk to” because of their shared experiences: “We all had the same critical mother, we all had the same pressure to find a Jewish spouse — it’s like a fun way to kind of share that.” 

He added, “I don’t even talk to the person in the elevator who [lives] on my hall of like, four people. No way. But, you know, you bring a bunch of young Jews together with some libations, and everyone’s having a good time.”

The next Jewish Dating Game is Monday, Dec. 23 at Caveat (21A Clinton St.). Get tickets and info here.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

You know, I will say that throughout all of these last two months, my non-Jewish spouse has been incredibly supportive and so kind. At one point, I ran out of meds, and he not only noticed this, but refilled it and put it back where I usually keep it, because he knows how hard it is for me to keep track of details like that with my executive dysfunction. And it's just a million little things like that that add up to a lot together.

He has listened and comforted and distracted and gently challenged and asked the right questions and given me space and in general just been a wonderful person and partner.

I am extremely lucky to have found such a beshert partner.

[groovy-lady]

My T’hy’la Spock

Name: Spock Nomikh.

Loved Since: Forever.

Married: November 13th, 2020.

I have loved and been fascinated by Spock for a very long time and so I was immensely pleased when Spock asked me if he could court me some years ago and I happily accepted. We are now married! Spock is kind, romantic, very loving, supportive, protective, attentive, endearing, and devoted to me and I am the same to him. Spock is very sexy and sensual as well! He has the most beautiful deep brown eyes and a lovely smile, too! Spock and I enjoy playing music together (he plays the Vulcan lute and piano; I play the bongo drums), reading together (especially poetry), looking at art, and dancing!

Spock and I were childhood friends on Vulcan. I am also a Vulcan-human hybrid, though I have more human physiology (I have thick human eyebrows but pointy ears; I have half the strength of a Vulcan; I can mind meld; I look more human than Vulcan). I was chosen as his betrothed over T’Pring due to Spock and I already being close friends so that would lead to a long and happy marriage. We do the betrothal ceremony when Spock is 8 and I am 7 (they waited for me to be of age for the ceremony since I am about a year younger than Spock). We formally marry after Spock graduates from Starfleet Academy. We have 2 weddings: we did the traditional Vulcan wedding ceremony first and then we did the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony after we returned to Earth (Spock and I are both Jewish since our mothers are Jewish). We have been happily married since then! During Spock’s time on the Enterprise under Captain Pike, I decided to join Starfleet as well and worked to become a First Officer’s Yeoman. I have worked on many starships (getting Spock’s permission to serve other men who are not my husband due to the fact that in Vulcan culture it is unseemly for a woman to serve a man who is not her husband (this is usually towards unmarried women, but I figured it would cause less of an issue on Vulcan if I asked Spock if he was okay with me serving other men who aren’t my husband due to the nature of my duties as a First Officer’s Yeoman; he said yes and that it would give me ample experience for when he can get permission from Starfleet to allow me to serve as his Yeoman on the Enterprise).

We have several endearments that we call each other: ashayam, neshama, ashaya, k’diwa, beshert, and t’hy’la. Spock also calls me petakov, sweetheart, light of his life, sweet one, starlight, and cutie. I also call Spock sweetie, honey, Spocky, love of my life, and Spocko.

[streetkid-named-desire]

If you loved me you would read the first Hanukkah fic :3

12/13/2080

Our besherts celebrate Hanukkah together for the first time.

She pulled another white candle out of the box, "Come on, put your hand over mine." He put his hand over hers. She was shaking. The last day of Hanukkah was when her parents told her they sold her to Arasaka. He put his free hand on her lower back and her hand slightly steadied. She lit the candle and took in a shaky deep breath and sang, "Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam." She sighed, "Fuck. I never remember the rest." Some lightning bolt of a memory flashed through V's brain and he finished the blessing, "ke nos santifikó kon sus enkomendansas i nos enkomendó por ensender kandela de Hanuká." He guided their hands to light the first candle and set the shamash in the center holder. He squeezed her hand and Bea looked at him, "Where the hell? Wait, that wasn't Hebrew. What was that?" He shrugged, "I…don't know how I knew that. Ladino, I think?" Johnny appeared behind Bea, "Don't say I never did shit for you, asshole. Had to go digging around deep in your brainpan for that. Disgusting." Bea pulled his hand up to her face and kissed it before resting her cheek on his hand. "Well, anyway, I didn't suffer in the kitchen for nothing. Eat! Eat! Let's go!" Bea forced V into a chair at the table and prepared plates for them and poured wine.

[evermarch]

for the fake fic ask game:

a THG fic with: accidental marriage, political intrigue and mutual pining!

OOF this is so hard i’ve been thinking about this one for a WHILE but i think i got it!! in honor of Passover��a Jewish!Everlark (shtetl!District 12, really) AU set during Catching Fire.

The twin burns on their hands aren’t the only things binding Katniss and Peeta together that fateful night before the Passover Seder. When they tear the loaf to drop in the Mellark fireplace together, cleansing the house of chametz before the holiday, they’re transported to another time with another burnt loaf…until they look down to find a toasted piece of bread in each of their hands. And, worse yet, Mrs. Mellark saw the whole thing. Couldn’t they at least have waited to do the toasting under a chuppah? Oy, what a shanda!

As Katniss and Peeta are marched down to the Justice Building by Mrs. Mellark and the town rabbi, Katniss fears the repercussions from President Snow, whose perfect, goyische Capitol wedding was just ruined by the accidental fulfillment of the District 12 tradition.

A month after Peeta stepped on the glass in the Justice Building, making their marriage legal in the eyes of both the state and HaShem, they learn the consequences of their actions when President Snow announces the Quell. With nothing left to lose, Katniss and Peeta start to think that maybe the meshugas they caused could be what saves them in the arena. After all, being star-crossed lovers worked pretty well last time.

In the battle for their culture, their rights, their traditions, and their lives, they can’t help but wonder…is it beshert?

glossary for the goyim:

shtetl - small Jewish towns in Eastern Europe (generally pre WWII for obvious reasons)

Passover - holiday where we don’t eat leavened bread and we often burn it to ensure our houses are entirely bread-free before the holiday

Seder - super long ritual dinner we do on the first night or two of passover

chametz - leavened bread

chuppah - a big ritual tarp we get married under

shanda - scandal

rabbi - Jewish spiritual leader (comparable to a minister or imam)

goyische - goy-like (“goy” means non-Jew; serves a similar role to gringo/a in Spanish-speaking regions)

breaking the glass - wedding tradition where the groom steps on a piece of glass which usually ends the ceremony

HaShem - literally translates to “the name” but is just God (we’re not allowed to say God’s name)

meshugas - ridiculousness, chaos

beshert - basically destiny (“it would’ve happened anyway…”)

[uss-edsall]

It's been tough the past couple days holding silent vigil over my dying mother, but there's… There's a lot of good, too.

This is exactly the way she wanted to go to a bloody tee and half of it has been beshert - unexpected, unplanned but destiny. We've followed her wishes exactly how she wanted it. The moment it started going from 'life-saving' to 'life-sustaining' care with no hope of improvement, she was taken off of it to go softly, helped along only by pain meds. After she fell asleep a week and a half ago, she has not woken up again - the brain mets have prevented her from waking up.

The hospice home is lovely.

Today we had a volunteer with a cello show up who happened to have played in the same orchestra as my mother did, leaving it a year before she joined. The last song he played, completely unknowingly, was mum's go-to song to practice cello with, I heard it practically every week if not every day for decades.

Just now a retired rabbi popped in. The instant she saw the Star of David around my neck, she asked if she could do shabbat services for mum, leave some electric candles going for her, and sing Mi Shibeirach.

Additionally�� Mum didn't suffer.

Victims of metastatic breast cancer usually go through excruciatingly painful and protracted deaths. Mum has not, and in some ways the fact she never woke up after falling asleep is a blessing - she would not have been 'there' anymore. She was always most terrified about losing her mind, over anything else.

This is exactly the kind of place she would've wanted to go to, exactly the kind of people she would've wanted have dropped everything from across the country to see her (her sisters and her best friend), and exactly the kind of events she would've wanted have occurred.

In a very, very odd way, as awful as all this is, this has been strangely beautiful.

[keeper-of-the-flames]

Anyone wanna help me with a Shabbat miracle and be my/help me find my beshert?

[all-pacas]

when do you think house converted to a full blown chasecam shipper?

fdgdf Well first disclaimer/realistic answer: He isn't. He doesn't care. He seems to enjoy a brief moment of revealing he knows in Top Secret, and because House likes to let everyone know he knows everything he also enjoys pointing out Cameron's heading Chase's way in Human Error.

At the start of S4 he (sarcastically) calls them soulmates (beshert, one of those random yiddish words he has no reason to know). He certainly has no issue with them dating (he might enjoy Cameron being distracted); in The Itch he does accidentally make their relationship stronger but he's not actually trying to — he's just nosing into the relationship because he's curious, although it is sort of interesting that jokingly House thinks Cam and Chase have been together for "six years." It's only been a year and a half, as Cameron says… but that is about how long it's been since Cameron started at PPTH.

Towards the end of S5, though? House gets piqued when Cameron starts using him as an excuse to avoid Chase, and doesn't care for it (although he doesn't know why, and is in fact surprised when she tells him). He assumes that Cameron is ghosting Chase to force Chase to dump her — which does happen — but actually Cameron thinks she's avoiding an engagement and everything will blow over in a week or so? I guess? She clearly hasn't thought this through. In any case, House tells her she's being stupid, and they go off and get engaged.

House is super into Chase's bachelor party a few days later, but that's very House; any excuse for debauchery, especially debauchery that might distract him from his current hallucinations and breakdown. The Sperm Fiasco is I think the first time House actually and intentionally pushes for the two of them to get stay together; he once again tells Cameron she's being stupid and pushes her towards destroying the sperm. In all these cases, CamChase is being filtered through Cameron and House — we almost never get a look into Chase's head, which is interesting narratively and its own post — with Cameron being afraid and House prodding at weaknesses. Ironically, he's being rather… mentorish. Cameron usually resists that from him, she wants to be his peer, but suddenly he's giving her advice and pushing her to stop running and hiding from her problems. And it's just a coincidence that this always ends up strengthening her relationship with Chase.

Silly answer:

Chase is way better at solving cases in S3/once the FWB era begins, and then goes on to be the Best Surgeon In The Hospital. Clearly getting laid on a regular basis makes him a better doctor, and it gives Cameron enrichment so she stops pestering House all the time, so once House decided in S3 the relationship wasn't messing with either of their ability to do their jobs, he was hand's down in favor of the new romance.

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Let's Add to the Crap Pile

Dear Future Husband,

I'm broke. Have we ever discussed that? I don't remember for sure, though I think I may have mentioned it...

Anywho, the pain is still here.

It could be an ovarian issue, it could be a kidney issue, it could be dehydration, it could be a random pain that will go away on its own. But you know what, I'll never know! Because I can't afford health care. Because my ObamaDoesntCare has been pending for three years, despite my being reassured by the ObamaDoesntCare people that there's nothing that should be holding it up and of course it'll go through this time.

Wouldn't it be funny if this "looking for my beshert" blog turned into a "watch me die a slow death" blog?

On top of that, my bank account overdrew yesterday because I had a couple of bills that were paid automatically and I hadn't checked my account before to make sure there were enough funds there.

Now here's the kicker - I work for a small business and I've been gifted the wonderful role of paying myself for the work I do, which I zelle from my boss's account.

But, you see, I grew up in a dysfunctional and poor family with parents who did not instill in me a healthy relationship with money. And paying myself feels super weird, because I have to keep track of my own hours and when I track my time, even two minutes at work that aren't spent on work things feels like I'm stealing. I used to track my time by literal minutes, but when I first started working there, my boss would round up to the hour for pay. So now I round up to the hours. And that means if I'm paying myself for an hour, but part of that hour was spent on something non-work related, I feel like I'm stealing from my boss.

So I get weird about paying myself and I forget to do it. And it feels weird to do it at the beginning or in the middle of the week, so if I forget before Shabbos, I push it off to the next erev Shabbos. And at some point it's been like a month since I've been paid and my account gets overdrawn. Like a smart person.

But here's why I'm writing about all this now:

My boss apparently got a new phone and since it's not a recognized device, she had issues logging into her banking app and it completely locked her out.

So I can't even pay myself this week until she resolves that issue.

So the TL;DR is: my account is overdrawn and I can't pay my bills because I'm the one who pays myself and I'm so weird about money that I can't even pay myself like a normal person and pushed it off so long that I need the money this week because I live paycheck to paycheck and I can't even get a paycheck this week because of stupid tech issues.

My god, I'm a mess.

It's one thing to know it, but it's another thing to say these things "out loud" and see it from a normal person's perspective."

Either way, I can't afford medical care, so whatever this back pain issue is, it better go away on its own because I can't afford any other option.

-LivelyHeart

I googled it and there's something called Chronic Kidney Disease, which is apparently not reversible, and comes along with things like obesity (check) and high blood pressure (check).

My obesity is most likely tied in with two things - (1) stress and (2) food sensitivities.

My high blood pressure is most likely tied in with three things - (1) stress, (2) obesity, and (3) there's actually a genetic component for it on MotherLivelyHeart's side.

It's so funny how stress can cause obesity and obesity can cause stress. And my whole life is stress, so even when I try to get healthy, the stress is always there.