#besh squad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redrobinhoods · 2 years

Text

the fruit of war | chapter two

AO3 Link | 3,200 words | Chapter 1, Chapter 3

Story Summary: The Clone Wars have begun. Riyo Chuchi is less than a year into her role as Senator for Pantora when the Coruscant Guard arrives and the war upheaves everything she knew. In a changing galaxy, Riyo strives to find her place in a deteriorating Senate as the men of the Coruscant Guard try to fill a role they were not prepared to take up.

“But what if a giant lizard thing attacks the Senate.”

“Uhhhh.” Thorn drummed his fingers against the floor. “That would still be covered by Contingency Aurek.”

“I don’t think sheltering in place is gonna pass muster.”

“Contingency Besh, and we’ll make sure the bunkers are… giant lizard proof.”

Thire nodded.

The two men lay on the floor underneath Thorn’s desk. Thirty minutes ago, Stone had passed them each a small white pill, ‘for the pain’, ten minutes after that the delirium had been too much to remain seated.

“Where are we gonna find a giant lizard?” Thire mused.

“Huh.” Thorn tried to wrack his mind of every reptile he had ever heard of. “If we go to Tatooine…”

Thire broke out in what could only be described as a fit of giggles, Thorn following soon after, rolling on his side to clutch his stomach as he laughed through the twinge of pain. They laughed until they were gasping for air, clutching their sides as they tried to heave fresh breaths into their lungs.

The moment they had composed themselves, the door slid open and Fox poked his head inside the office. “Are you okay?”

And Thorn couldn’t stop the laughter from rising back up, couldn’t hold back as Thire began to hiccup, tears of mirth rolling down his face.

Fox closed the door without another word.

“What did you give them?” Fox asked, stopping beside Stone in the main office.

“You don’t want to know.” Stone looked down with a smile playing at his lips. “The high will wear off in about an hour, but it should keep the worst of the pain at bay for a while.”

“I haven’t heard Thorn laugh like that in years.”

Stone glanced up to meet Fox’s gaze. “This is a fresh start. For all of us.”

From behind the closed office door, Fox could hear a new round of laughter start up and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face at the carefree sound. A fresh start.

He looked around the office at the men. They had managed to complete the set-up of the terminals and avoid Stone’s wrath concerning any loose cables. Now their duties would begin. He, Stone, and Thorn had spent the entirety of the last afternoon splitting the men by where their strengths lay. As requested, Sergeant Bravo had been assigned under Stone, as had the two troublemakers of Thire’s batchmates. Jek and Rys, who had remained at Thire’s side the last twenty-four hours, all but carrying him. They had been hesitant to break the batchmates apart, but the two had been among the few men with complete shock trooper training as would befit the riot squad Stone was to assemble. As Thorn had requested, Lieutenant Thire had been assigned to him, his second-in-command in all but title. Now, with the echoes of laughter, Fox felt a sense of relief for his most injured men.

“Commander Fox.”

Fox turned to face the brother who had approached him. “Lieutenant Kilo.”

“Sir, I have four squads ready for patrol, but I’m afraid we have do not have an established route.”

“Right.” Fox nearly glanced over to Stone, but Kilo was his lieutenant. Fox and Stone had decided that Fox would be the one to oversee general patrols across the planet, while Stone’s men would take the prison and specific high-risk areas. “Take a crime map and pull Sergeant Bravo aside. Pick a few areas of moderate crime and start your men there. Bravo will arrange for further patrols in the worst sections starting next week.” Stone’s men would have completed basic shield training by then.

“Yes, sir!” Kilo bounced with a salute before rushing off to where Bravo was nestled in the far corner of the room.

“We need to train them out of that.” Stone murmured.

“You don’t want to be saluted a hundred times a day?”

“Oh, we can pretend in front of the senators.” Stone turned around, leaning back against the desk as he crossed his arms. “But here, I want this to be equal ground. We all walked out of Geonosis together. We may walk out of worse before the war ends.”

“Like a giant lizard thing?”

Stone blinked rapidly as he processed Fox’s words. “A what?”

Riyo clutched her datapad to her chest as she made her way through the halls of the Senate. Where they had once been fairly empty, they now bustled with clones. A few small patrols walking leisurely through the halls, larger ones walking with purpose for tasks assigned elsewhere.

She paused to let one such patrol leave the Coruscant Guard office, inclining her head at the few muffled ma’ams and senator as they passed. When it was clear, she took a deep breath and stepped inside.

The room bustled with men with identical faces, many sets of eyes darting up as she entered. The smell of caf and blasterfire filled the air.

“Can I help you, Senator?” The man she had seen yesterday with the cast asked, pushing his chair out from behind the monitor he had been seated at. He looked younger than the commanders, though his hair was cut to the same length as the commander she had determined to be their leader.

“I’m looking for Commander Thorn. I have an enquiry about his security briefing.”

The briefing had been sent out as she was eating lunch in her office. She had skimmed it for the most part before she stopped with a frown and checked the message signature for the name of the clone who had sent it.

“Of course, ma’am. He’s in Commander Fox’s office at the moment.” The clone turned to point at the end of the room. “That one in the middle.”

“Thank you.” She paused, mulling her question over. “What is your name?”

“Sergeant Bravo, ma’am.”

“Thank you, Sergeant Bravo.” She mustered a small smile before she turned to walk down the center aisle. Any prying eyes turned back to their monitors as she walked past them, to the door at the end of the room.

A light knock on the door was answered with a “come in” and she stepped inside.

Two of the three men she had seen the previous afternoon were there. The man with the tired eyes was there, seated behind the desk, as was the man with the close-cropped hair. Riyo made a quick assumption and turned towards him, taking note of his slumped posture and hand resting across his stomach. “You want to see me, Commander Thorn?”

His chin raised slightly as he took her in. “Did I, Senator Chuchi?” Even seated and injured, the command in his voice made her take in a steadying breath as she reviewed the words she had practiced in halls.

“Yes. You made a mistake in my security briefing. You referred to Contingency Theta, which is not applicable to the Senate, in your evacuation under Contingency Osk. Given the precision of the rest of the briefing, I assume that you wanted to see if I or any other senator was reading the briefing in detail. Which I believe I have proven that I did.”

Commander Thorn smirked and brought up the briefing on his datapad. She watched him scroll down to the aforementioned mistake and change the lettering. “You are correct, Senator. All in-Senate security protocols are named in Aurebesh. Thank you for doing your due diligence. You come behind only Senators Amidala and Organa.”

The datapad in Riyo’s hand chimed as it received the updated briefing.

Commander Thorn leaned back in his chair, the smirk still on his face, and gestured to the man sitting behind him. “This is Marshal Commander Fox, my commanding officer and little brother.”

Commander Fox’s head dipped in acknowledgment. “Senator Chuchi.” That weariness still hung around him, lacing his words with exhaustion. He didn’t look younger than Commander Thorn, his shoulders already slumped with the weight of duty.

“So,” Riyo turned as a new voice entered the room to see the commander with the kind eyes leaning in the doorway. “That’s three senators out of…?”

“Two thousand, five hundred and sixty-two currently on Coruscant.” Commander Thorn answered. “I haven’t tallied those off-world yet.”

“What, are you counting by hand?” The clone stepped into the room, holding out a hand. “Commander Stone.”

“Senator Chuchi.” She gripped his hand, giving it a solid shake. “You recognized Senator Amidala yesterday.”

Commander Stone nodded. “I met her on Geonosis. Unlike these two, I didn’t barricade myself in the medical tents.”

She gave him a small smile and glanced back at Commander Thorn and Commander Fox. “Thank you, for your time.”

Stone waited for the senator to exit the Coruscant Guard offices before turning to Thorn and Fox. “She’s beautiful.”

“You’ve only met like five females.” Thorn scoffed. “Anyone is a sight for sore eyes after looking in a mirror our whole lives.”

Stone raised a brow and turned to Fox. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t have any opinions on the senators’ appearances.”

“But if you did?” Thorn asked, his eyes flashing with challenge. As Stone had promised, the high had fallen within the first hour, leaving Thorn in good spirits at the drug-dulled ache in his side.

“She has a very symmetrical face.”

The two men waited for Fox to continue, Thorn frowning when he didn’t. “That’s it?”

“What do you want me to say, Thorn?”

“I don’t know. Something insightful. You’re supposed to be clever, Fox. Spin us some poetry about a female’s bosom.”

Fox groaned as Stone laughed.

“Like you’ve seen a ‘bosom’ before.” Fox retorted, causing Stone to throw his head back.

“It’s on my list.” Thorn shot back. “Come on, don’t pretend you’re not curious.”

“Curious about what?” Fox asked indignantly.

“Everything.” Thorn’s eyes lit up. “Fox, there’s a galaxy of beings out there that don’t look like us. Don’t you want to see them?”

“You two are going to get yourselves in trouble.” Fox said in return, glancing between Thorn and Stone. “Are you going to go peeking in windows or something?”

“Oh Fox,” Stone said, laughter still shaking his shoulders. “Why go through all the trouble when you can just ask?”

Fox groaned again, bringing laughter from both of his commanders. “And where, pray tell, will you be asking?”

Stone gestured out to the city. “I hear there’s a push to start a clone bar. Perhaps it might draw another crowd as well.”

Fox’s brows drew together. “You want to drink?”

Now it was Thorn and Stone’s turn to share a glance before Stone answered. “Never tried it before. The Kaminii made it sound fun."

Fox swore under his breath, running a hand through his hair.

“I heard from Thire,” Thorn said warily. “Who heard it from Jek, who heard it from Rys, who heard it from another trooper, that one of the bars has been approached to fill that niche while the clone bar is constructed. They’re supposed to start tonight.”

“We have no credits.” Fox protested.

“That’s why there’d be a clone bar. It’s the Republic’s dime.” Thorn rubbed his fingers together. “Aren’t you curious?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

Fox didn’t know how it had happened. One moment he had been at his desk, watching the men leave for the night. The next moment he had been thrown in the back seat of a speeder, Stone at the wheel and Thorn leaning back in the passenger seat, letting the evening breeze run across his bare face. Before he could protest, before he could even speak a word of objection, he’d found himself seated in the corner table of a dim room with Stone pressing a drink into his hand.

“What is this?” Fox asked, taking a sniff of the liquid inside.

“I don’t know.” Stone said as he and Thorn took a seat opposite Fox. “We asked what the rest of the men liked so far.”

Fox groaned as Stone and Thorn raised their glasses.

“Cheers.” Thorn offered.

Fox brought his glass up to touch theirs before bringing it to his mouth, taking a small sip. His nose crinkled as his throat burned, the sensation running down his mouth down into his stomach. He ran his tongue along the palate of his mouth to clear the sensation. Across the table, Stone’s face was drawn into a look of interest while Thorn’s was relaxed as he took another sip of the dark drink.

“The men like this?”

“There’s a few others drinks the bartender said they liked. She said she’ll bring us some more to try when these are done.” Stone said.

Fox felt his brows shoot up. “That’s six females then.”

Stone laughed, looking around the room. “Oh there’s more than one female here.”

“Do I have to sit here while you two do your asking?”

Thorn shook his head. The drink in his hand was nearly half gone. “Not tonight. Tonight is for us.”

Fox observed the room as he slowly sipped at the burning liquid in the cup. Nearly half the bar was composed of his men, a few nervously glancing over to their table. The other half was composed of beings he had only seen images and illustrations of, some obviously male and female, others less so, the bright colors of their skin, scales, fur, bodies filling the space. How plain the clones were in comparison to the citizens of the Republic.

Fox didn’t realize he had finished his drink, not until a teal twi’lek approached them, setting down fresh glasses full of color as she took their empty ones.

“What did you think?” She asked, looking between the three men.

Thorn gave her a thumbs up as Stone answered. “It seems to be an acquired taste.”

She laughed, draping her hand across Stone’s shoulder. “These are much sweeter. Many females enjoy them, but I know some males do, even if they prefer to not admit it.”

Fox made an effort to stare at her face. It was an effort, with her breasts leaning over the table, peeking out from her shirt, if it could be called a shirt. Perhaps Thorn’s curiosity was not misplaced. Her skin looked to be soft, and for the first time Fox was very aware of how rough his hands were beneath his gloves.

“Enjoy.” She said as she slid her hand off Stone’s shoulder, sauntering back to the bar.

Fox couldn’t help the gaze that slid down her waist to her hips as she walked off. When he looked back to his commanders, he found looks of curiosity on their faces that he was sure matched his own.

“I can see why twi’lek women are prized.” Stone said carefully.

Fox hummed his agreement as he reached for the purple drink she had set before him. For a moment, a pure shameful moment, he wondered if Senator Chuchi had a body like hers underneath her poncho. He regretted the thought the moment it entered his head, and he raised the glass to his lips to try to forget the image that flashed through his mind.

Thire weighed the pill in his hand as he thought. It was a prescription, he was supposed to take them, but after Stone’s mystery pill, the anti-inflammatory wouldn’t hold a candle against the flame in his back. He didn’t know what it was that Stone had slipped them before, only that it was the first thing since the IV on Geonosis that had held the pain at ease, even if it had left him and Thorn cackling on the floor for an hour.

Before he could think further, he took the pill, gulping it down with the flask of water at his bedside. He knew its effects would barely be felt, but it was better than nothing.

The sound of laughter echoed down the halls and Thire raised his head to see his commanding officers rounding the corner, swaying slightly on their feet.

Thorn’s face lit up at the sight of him and he slid from Fox and Stone’s arms to sit at the end of Thire’s bed. “When you can walk, you have to come drinking with us.”

Thire looked from Thorn to Fox and Stone, still swaying a little where they stood. “Is it… fun?” If it was anything like the delirium Stone’s pill had induced, he felt inclined to try it.

“Yes.” Thorn answered decisively. “And the women,” he raised his hands to shake them like the cooks had done on Kamino, “they were all over Stone.”

Stone shot Thorn a bashful look but didn’t deny it.

“I’ll let you know, Commander.” Thire said, allowing a smile to play at his lips. He was very quickly becoming fond of Thorn. There had been a few times today where he had almost slipped up, almost called him by his name. That was the effect Thorn had, even through the pain of their injuries.

“Get some sleep.” Thorn said, reaching over to give him a pat on the leg. “We’re forming the escort protocols tomorrow.”

“If you can make it to the Senate in the morning.” Thire shot back without thinking. For a moment he felt a twinge of worry at his insubordination. Then Thorn laughed, throwing his head back.

“There may be a delayed start.” Thorn admitted, rising from the bed to take his place by Fox and Stone. “But we’ll get there.”

Thire watched them as they walked the short distance to their room. The privilege of the commanders was a private room with a private washroom, separate from the men. Thire had pondered that the previous night, what it was like to have one’s own space. How foreign the concept when he had always shared with his batchmates. He didn’t know if he could sleep without the sound of Rys’ soft snores, always the first to go to bed. Though his batch was thinner in rank than they had been before Geonosis, the once thirty-two down to the eighteen men sleeping around him. All but Jek and Rys now assigned to Commander Thorn. He wondered if he would reclaim leadership of the remainder of the platoon if he recovered. He wondered if he wanted that leadership. He had led them on Geonosis and nearly half the men had been lost to that battle. In the medical tents he had heard of men who had lost their entire platoon, but also those who had scraped through with few losses. But those had been the platoons who had not been sent towards the Lucrehulks, who had not been met with the fall out of their devastation.

But Thorn, Thorn who had been far away from the Lucrehulk cores had lost his entire squad of ARC troopers. There was not a spot on the battlefield that had been spared.

As he listened to Rys’ soft snores, Thire wondered if he could have survived the loss of his men as Thorn had or if he would have accepted death alongside them. He hoped that he would never find out which of the two was preferrable.

Chapter Three

#foxiyo #commander fox #riyo chuchi #commander thorn #commander stone #commander thire #my fics #the fruit of war fic

4 notes · View notes

iacyper9 · 1 year

Text

So, I rolled another Agent. Ra'eun Tolvik.

He attended the IAOZ (Imperial Academy of Ziost) with Hulac and the two were close friends. They were in the same squad (and by default the same company) together. 1st battalion, Besh company, 2 platoon, 3rd squad. They were battle buddies whenever they needed to be and were on drill team together, being co-commanders their final year. They were the armed exhibition duet.

He also reached the position of Cyper agent, though Ra'eun would be sold out by a contact during a mission and be apprehended by the Republic. He'd spend the rest of the war, and then a good chunk of the war against the eternal empire, in a Republic prison.

In the break between KOTFE and KOTET, Hulac would learn of his whereabouts and have him freed. After recovering, Ra'eun would be offered a place in the EA and would take it.

I'm thinking of doing a fic about the two and their time in the IAOZ.

#swtor #the raginis legacy #swtor oc's #imperial agent #Hulac Raginis #Ra'eun Tolvik

0 notes

sodaln · 2 years

Text

The Coming Storm pt1 section 3

Sodaln would turn to the troopers, “We are going to assist Besh Squad; they are currently pinned down from the looks of it.” He motioned down one of the branching paths in the trench line. “We are going to split up and clear our way to the bunker and meet back up there.” They both nodded at him and began to move out. As Sodaln fought his way toward the bunker he would take note of the drop off in enemy resistance, they were retreating? But why he asked himself, they held the advantage in this part of the trench. He would get his answer when he reached the bunker and spotted the two troopers from before entering it. Then there was a sudden explosion knocking him on his back, his ears ringing he slowly propped himself up on the side of the trench wall and looked toward where the bunker entrance once was. It was a trap this was why the Republic was falling back, they were setting traps in their own lines in the hopes of making the attackers pay for every inch they take. An hour later Sodaln would regroup with a number of Imperial soldiers and they all moved onto the base. By the time Sodaln and his team made it to the jamming tower there were only four of them left. “Shut down this tower and maybe we can get some reinforcements out here.” He said as the only other Chiss among them began typing away on the console. Sodaln would look to a holotable displaying the base layout and the location of the walkers of which would blink out every few seconds as the other units completed their tasks. “Mid Captain Sodaln!” The Chiss shouted. “Jamming signal is down and we are getting scattered reports from HQ, they claim to be under attack!” Sodaln looks up from the table surprised by the news. “That cannot be possible. We have completely tied up the Republic forces down here and the Empire holds the void.” The holotable would begin to show new contacts appear from above the base, seeing this Sodaln would move to the nearest window to get a visual on what is coming down on the. They looked like some kind of dropship with troops equipped with jetpacks jumping from them into the base attacking both Imperial and Republic troops. The enemy troops looked like a type of droid he hadn't seen before, Sodaln would look back to one of the Imperials to give an order but would be knocked unconscious as a rocket fired from the new enemy blew away a large section of the wall of the room they stood in. Sodaln would awake a week later on a ship and in two weeks time would be heading back to Ascendancy space with what was left of his fellow Chiss after talks with a Chiss name Aristocra Saganu brokered a peace deal between the Chiss Ascendancy and a new galactic power that stunned the greater galaxy, the Eternal Empire of Zakuul.

#swtor #swtor chiss #swtor fanfiction

0 notes

adhd-clones · 4 years

Photo

WIP of a bigger post I’m putting together of ALL of my clone OCs, because I’m a bit scattered on content for some of them, and some of my newer followers might not know about them all!

Currently I’m just up to squad Besh, or the BADDS squad as they’re informally known, but the other 10 of my boys are to follow shortly. I’ll be including rank, CT numbers, and eye colors as well in the final version (also drawing them in lil chibi style bc I don’t have time for full body/face refs atm)

Top row, left to right: Dally, Breakaway, Marsh, Needle Bottom row, left to right: Stub, Dusty, Dev, Allip, Berry

#art #doodle #my stuff #my OCs #not gonna name them all bc OOF that's a lot of boys #The BADDS squad #277th #I have NINETEEN total clone bois #send help #lol at the five badds batchers all throwing up a peace sign #they're all in sync

117 notes · View notes

ann-i-inthestars · 3 years

Text

CT-8118/ Blai

8118 knew he made decisions in a way the kaminesse would greatly disapprove of. He was impulsive, reckless and did things without really, truly thinking them out. It pertained to everything he did. Including choosing a name.

He hated not having a name, but he couldn't think of one that would suit him. He didn't feel like there was anything specific or special about him enough to use as a namesake. And he refused to be called something like Careless or Trouble.

One day at meal time, he dropped down across from his batchmate Boost and gave a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" Boost asked with a curious tilt of his head.

"How'd you get your name?"

"My squad says I'm a constant boost of positivity. So my name is Boost. Why?"

"I need a name."

"Huh. What about Impulse?"

He leveled Boost with an unimpressed look. "No. it needs to be different."

Without really thinking it through he turned to the brothers on each of his and Boost's sides.

"Give me a random letter."

"Aurek."

"Besh."

"Isk."

"Lenth."

Boost snickered. "Awe, you were so close to being Abcd."

8118 sent him an unimpressed look and thought for a moment before grinning. "Blai. My name is Blai."

"You're serious?"

"Of course!"

Boost laughed and shook his head. "Someday, your impulsiveness is going to get you killed."

Blai shrugged. "Maybe, but I won't regret it."

#star wars #the clone wars #sw the clone wars #clone wars #sw clones #sw clone oc #clone oc #clone trooper boost #clone names #clone name origins

2 notes · View notes

sexywookieesquadron · 4 years

Text

Origins: Mey-Gon

Hey all, we’re finally ready to start sharing our OCs! This is the first chapter of OC Mey-Gon Niek’s backstory, created and written by Megan. We hope you enjoy and follow along as we introduce the rest squad and their wild adventures!

Word count: 1487

Chapter 1/9

Summary: How does a famous, wealthy party girl end up joining forces with a controversial paramilitary group like the Resistance?

Next Chapter

xxx

26 ABY, Hosnian Prime

Despite the minimalist styling, it was still one of the most luxurious rooms Mey-Gon had ever been in; and it was only the waiting room. Even as her eyes roamed, she had to squeeze the fingers of one hand tightly in the palm on the other to keep herself from fidgeting further. She didn’t want the secretary behind the desk in the corner to think that a professional like herself was nervous about being here.

Excited or nervous, she couldn’t really tell the difference anymore. All she knew was that she loved these kind of dizzying moments, the icy tingle of adrenaline in her veins. It was this addiction that drove her back again and again to nerve-racking auditions from the time she was ten years old until she’d started to land acting roles steadily enough to call it a career. Then, when her tolerance for the fear and pressure of the industry grew too strong, she had discovered a whole new threshold of exhilaration in the high-speed sport of swoop racing. She bought her first bike at sixteen and was racing competitively by eighteen. In the four years since she’d joined the sport, she had worked her way up to a mid-level league and started gaining a whole new kind of fanbase. It was ironic that her notoriety as a racer had probably helped land her the role that had brought her to this office but also resulted in her having to take the entire coming season off to shoot the holodrama. She had read the script, though, and the swoop chase scene she would be shooting more than made up for a missed season.

Her daydream about weaving a bike between giant trees was interrupted by the secretary looking up from her monitor and announcing, “Senator Organa is ready for you now.”

“Thank you,” Mey-Gon stood up and smoothed her dress.

The door next to the secretary’s desk slid open, and Mey-Gon paused to take a deep breath before walking through into the office beyond. As she entered, she saw the senator stand up from behind her own beautiful desk and walk around it to greet her with an outstretched hand.

“Lovely to meet you, Miss Niek,” the older woman said as they shook hands.

“It’s an absolute honor, Senator Organa,” Mey-Gon tried not to sound too giddy.

“Leia, please,” she said kindly, then swept her scrutinizing gaze up and down the actress’s tall frame, green eyes, and copper hair, “You look nothing like me.”

“That’s the magic of the business,” Mey-Gon assured her with a smile, “As long as I capture enough of your spirit, the visual wizards will do the rest.”

Leia gestured to a couch and admitted as they both settled in, “I must say, Mey-Gon, I have not seen any of your previous work. Politicking doesn’t allow for much leisure time to watch holovids.”

Unfazed, she maintained her energetic smile, “Oh, that’s all right. I doubt many of them have made it as far as the Core anyway. I’m only well-known in my home system of Haidoral and maybe a few other Mid Rim worlds. Maybe someday, though, yeah? This part is definitely a step towards galactic fame.”

Leia let out a genuine chuckle, “You have my ambition, at least. How old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

She smiled and nodded, “About the same age as my son, then. So you won’t remember anything of the Galactic Civil War, yourself.”

“No, ma’am. The battle on Haidoral Prime happened a year before I was born. I’ve only ever known the New Republic. But I’ve studied so much about you and those last years of the war. This holodrama is going to start with the Battle of Endor and cover the first few years of establishing the government. I know the whole plot: your victory, your marriage, your training with your brother, the signing of the Galactic Concordance, and the birth of your son. The beats are clear, I just need to know how each of these events made you feel . What was going through your mind?”

A veil of nostalgia fell over the senator’s pleasant expression, “Well, well, that is a lot to cover. Let’s start at Endor…”

The next hour and a half barely got them through the subject of Jedi training, but it took them on a roller coaster of emotions all the way. Leia seemed guarded with some details, but generous with her feelings. Mey-Gon studied her carefully, memorizing her mannerisms, cadence of speaking, and all the other subconscious details she would need in order to portray a convincing version of this amazing woman. At the same time, she engaged in the conversation by asking more probing questions or drawing parallels to her own limited life experience, hoping to find real emotional memories to draw on in her performance.

Gradually, a bond began to form between the two and both were shocked when Leia’s secretary peeked in to let her boss know that it was past time to shut down the office and remind her of her dinner reservations. How had the time gone so fast? To Mey-Gon’s surprise, Leia barely hesitated before inviting her to join the dinner and continue their conversation. She accepted immediately and felt that delicious prickling of excitement return. Dinner at a fancy restaurant on Hosnian Prime with Leia Organa? Dreams really could come true.

When they arrived, Mey-Gon was more relieved than ever that she had decided to wear one of her nicest dresses for this meeting and had sculpted her hair into a fashionable style to match. If only her accessories had been just a little more expensive, she would have fit in perfectly with the clientele of the restaurant. The only person dressed more casually than her was their dinner companion, who still managed to take her breath away when he stood up to greet her as they arrived.

“Mey-Gon,” Leia introduced, “Meet my husband, Han.”

“Pleased to meet you,” she whispered in awe as she held out her hand.

Nearly as legendary as the senator, herself, Han Solo was also still an incredibly charming, handsome man. Clearly he caught the dazzle in Mey-Gon’s eyes, so in lieu of a handshake, he brought her fingers up to his mouth for a polite kiss.

“Happy you could join us,” he said.

Leia shook her head with a scolding smile and slapped her husband’s arm gently, “Still such a scoundrel. Sit down, Han, and order us some drinks.”

Mey-Gon couldn’t stop smiling as she settled around the table with the couple, “I do hope I’m not imposing on an occasion or anything…”

“You’re fine, kid,” Han waved a dismissive hand, “We’ve just been eating out a lot because it’s easier than cooking at home. Leia has a habit of working late, as you probably know. I’m guessing you’re one of the new aides or, Force forbid, a lobbyist?”

“Worse,” she grinned, “Actress.”

“Mey-Gon will be playing me in an upcoming holodrama,” Leia explained.

“Oh, yeah?” he gave her another once-over, “You don’t look like nearly enough of a pain in the ass.”

Mey-Gon hid her laugh behind her hand as Leia combined her knowing smile with a glare. Looking pretty pleased with himself, Han paused for the arrival of their wine, then swirled his around and smoothly continued, “So who do they got playing me?”

“I look forward to finding out,” she admitted, “We won’t really meet until training. Production has us scheduled for some kind of bootcamp for the action scenes. I have to admit, I’m pretty excited to learn how to shoot a blaster.”

Leia sipped her wine thoughtfully, then looked at Han with a wistful smile, “Can you believe a generation has grown up without ever needing to handle a weapon?”

They shared something meaningful through their eyes, then Han reached over to hold his wife’s hand as he turned back to Mey-Gon proudly, “I’ve seen this woman take out a stormtrooper from a hundred yards and pilot a swoop bike through a thick forest, so that better be some kind of bootcamp.”

“I’m sure she’ll do fine,” Leia said, “Mey-Gon is already a swoop racing champion on Haidoral Prime.”

Han looked impressed, so the young woman humbly clarified, “Only a two-time winner of the Haidoral Besh-class Circuit Tour. I’m still hoping to get invited to the pro league.”

“Not bad, not bad,” he nodded, “So I’m guessing you gals already talked about Endor, then?”

“We covered it thoroughly,” Leia assured him, “But you are joining us just in time to discuss the signing of the Galactic Concordance and Ben’s birth.”

“Now, that was quite a day,” Han raised his eyebrows and took a long drink, “Maybe one of the best days of our lives.”

Mey-Gon leaned back with her wine glass poised in front of her lips and eyes glittering with interest, “Tell me all about it…”

#star wars #star wars oc #mey-gon niek #rebel alliance #new republic #resistance #fan fic

4 notes · View notes

thedunesea · 6 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker Additional Tags: Angst, Sith Horror, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Love Summary:

On the inside, Anakin was devoured by his own inner fire. A moth to the flame, Obi-Wan knew that sooner or later he would be caught in the firestorm too.

A vision of someone close to him dying has Anakin diving head-first into darkness; Obi-Wan goes to the rescue. Yes, they are just that predictable.

FULL TEXT UNDER THE CUT

[The holoimage shows a woman clad in standard-issue EduCorps garments. Her eyes are wide with fear, and the deafening noise of blasterfire intermingled with screams drowns her panicked words.]

We can’t get out. They’ve taken the walkway and the hangars. Cloud, Kit and Spike tried to hold them in hallway besh-three – they are dead.

[An explosion, somewhere not far from the speaker. Then the unmistakable clanking noise of marching droids.]

They’re coming in waves. Something – something has awaken in the tombs. We hear drums, drums in the deep – no! Force, no… they got through the blast doors!

[Another explosion. The clanking footsteps approach.]

We can’t get out. It’s the end... They’re coming.

[One last explosion, a scream, and the blue image crumples to the ground before disappearing.]

Silence fell over the High Council Room. The greatest Jedi Masters of this age sat motionless in their circle of wisdom; not a shadow of fear or doubt darkened their carven faces, but their silence said what their features did not.

After a few heartbeats, Yoda voiced what the others could not bear to even think.

“Awakened on Korriban, the ancient Sith have.”

***

Over the course of the years, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi had become quite a connoisseur of desert planets. Even if his understanding of the hellish environment was still dwarfed by that of his former apprentice, who had grown up on Tatooine, he knew enough to realize with just one glance that Korriban was unlike any other such place he had ever seen.

The asteroid field through which the Resolute was slowly wading its way reminded him of a morbid image etched in his memory since his impressionable Padawan days, gray bloodflies flying in lazy circles around the putrid wounds of a man he and Qui-Gon had found days after he had died.

The image was morbid indeed, but accurate: the planet beyond the asteroid field was a putrid wound. There was something to the rusty color of its sands that spoke of millennia-old bloodstains on rugged cliffs, of fractured slabs still guarding desecrated tombs, an ill presence festering in every crack of the planet’s parched surface.

Not to mention the fact that the Force itself seemed to shriek away from the place.

Averting his gaze from the viewport and blinking away this unnecessary macabre line of thought, Obi-Wan cast a worried glance at his former apprentice, who was standing beside him and scowling at the planet below, horror and exhaustion carved deep in his features. Taking advantage of the fact that Anakin was too absorbed in his own musings to feel his gaze upon him, Obi-Wan took his time to study the boy he had watched turn into a man.

Nature had made Anakin tall and handsome; his training had given him broad shoulders and the lean, muscled body of a warrior. The loss of his hand had been a gruesome rite of passage to adulthood, a passage ultimately sealed by war, which had bestowed upon him a bronze tan and that trademark scar featured on the cover of half the Galaxy's holomagazines.

On the surface, Anakin was the perfect image of a Jedi – the poster boy of the Order, as Obi-Wan fondly called him. Sometimes he almost seemed to have come straight out of a holomovie on the Mandalorian Wars, and not because of his raw power, unlike anything else the Galaxy had seen in millennia, but because of his charming mix of dashing élan and natural leadership paired with a captivating smile and a generous heart.

On the inside, though, Anakin was devoured by his own inner fire. A moth to the flame, Obi-Wan knew that sooner or later he would be caught in the firestorm too.

“Master?”

Apparently, this time Obi-Wan had been the one too engrossed in his own thoughts to mind his surroundings; Anakin had averted his gaze from the viewport and was now staring at him, frowning slightly.

“Yes, Anakin?”

“What are you looking at?”

“You seem preoccupied,” Obi-Wan said, evading the question.

Anakin bit his lip, hesitating. “I wish they had assigned someone else to this mission, Master," he confessed.

Obi-Wan folded his hands in his sleeves, arching his eyebrows in an inquisitive frown.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Anakin explained.

Obi-Wan opened himself to the Force and almost recoiled under the onslaught of Darkness soaring from Korriban’s sands. Fighting to stand his ground, he reached out, following the tide of time beyond the horizon of the present moment, but the future was silent. He retreated back to the here and now, where Korriban stood as a catalyst of the Dark Side; beyond the evil of the place he could feel nothing amiss - at least no more than usual in an age of civil war.

“That’s strange,” he said at last. “I sense nothing. Well, other than that abyss of darkness we are happily walking into.”

His try for a lighter mood failed; he saw Anakin swallowing, a brief spasm in the curve of his throat.

“I wish we weren’t.”

One hand slipped out of a sleeve, going to rest on Anakin’s forearm.

“So do I, Anakin.” An affectionate squeeze. “So do I.”

A weary smile tugged at the corners of Anakin’s lips. The golden grins of the first year of the war had long since gone, taken away by so many half-averted disasters: Mortis, Zygerria, the Rako Hardeen debacle, the loss of Ahsoka were only the major catastrophes in a tragedy three years in the making. Obi-Wan had never thought he would miss the times of Cristophsis and Geonosis.

“But we are Jedi, aren’t we, Master?” Anakin asked, then sighed and dropped his gaze. “And we will do what we must, whether we want it or not.”

***

The Republic archaeological research center built near the entrance of the Old Sith Academy had become a mass tomb: bodies – or what remained of them – were everywhere, sprawled across control boards, lying in crumpled heaps on the floor, some still in their beds. Trails of blood guided the troopers' steps. Death hung heavy on the air.

Unheard by all save Obi-Wan, the Force screamed in ghost agony.

The planet had been blockaded by Republic forces since the first months of the war; feeling safe under the protection of three star-destroyers, most of the archaeologists had been unarmed. No one could have figured death would come from below.

“Stay alert, men,” Obi-Wan said, his voice booming in the eerie silence. “They might come back.”

“They? What are they, Sir?” Boil asked, voicing what most of his brothers were without doubt thinking.

Obi-Wan kneeled beside the body of a young Zabrak woman; her chest sported two blaster wound, one for each heart.

“Droids,” he muttered.

“Clankers?” another man asked, skepticism clear in his voice.

“No.” Obi-Wan closed the women's eyes and got back to his feet, wiping his hands clean of her blood on his trousers. “Ancient droids, perhaps as old as the Great Hyperspace War. These blast points are too accurate for battle droids. Only supercommando are so precise, but there is no way they could have made planetfall without us knowing.”

“Droids still alive and kicking after thousands of years?” Cody asked, bewildered for probably the first time in his life.

“Yes. Such is the power of the Dark Side,” Obi-Wan said bitterly. “There were legends about this, bedtime scaretales for Jedi children, ancient tombs filled with assassin droids. There is always a bit of truth in old tales.”

“But where have they gone now? And why did they awake in the first place?”

Obi-Wan stroke his chin, deep in thought.

“Woke up on their own, these droids did not,” Yoda had said. “Activated them, someone has, someone powerful with the Dark Side.”

“I thought the problem was that the archaeologists had dug too deep... too greedily. That they awakened something."

“Perhaps. But the shroud of the Dark Side I feel. Darth Sidious I fear it may be.”

“But to what use, Master?”

“To test our resistance, perhaps, mmmm? Clouded everything, the Dark Side has. Beware, young Obi-Wan. Whatever you may see, trust it do not."

“I don’t know, Boil,” Obi-Wan said at last, relinquishing his reverie. “Perhaps the archaeologists triggered a trap. For now, though, the droids seem to have withdrawn.”

Or, perhaps, it was really a Jedi trap. Frowning, Obi-Wan tapped his comlink. Only time would tell. In the meantime, he had to make sure his men were safe.

“Kenobi here, awaiting status report.”

“Perimeter sweep complete, General. The area is clear. The squad in the dig site has reached the last check point with all green.”

“Very well. We’ll rendezvous at the opposite side of the Academy and go help Anakin and his men in the valley.” He tapped his commlink again, switching to his and Anakin's private frequency. A buzz of static met him. Unease crawled cold on his skin. He closed his eyes and tried to reach for him into the Force.

Anakin?

Darkness and silence. The Force, shrouded in timeless malice, seemed to close around him and jolted him out of his trance.

Fear gnawing at his heart, he turned to his men.

“Let us hurry, gentlemen. I’m afraid General Skywalker is in danger.”

"From the droids?" Cody asked, as he started to run.

"From himself," Obi-Wan said.

***

For a stunned moment Obi-Wan simply stood, staring at Rex in horror. A trickle of cold sweat run from the back of his neck down his spine.

“Anakin has done what?”

Another man would have probably recoiled at his tone of voice; Rex simply frowned.

“He has entered the inner chamber of the cave alone, Sir. There was some sort of… Force barrier, he called it, and we could not get in. The General thought you were in there - he had some kind of vision, said you were in danger. He sent us back here to look out for straggle droids.”

Exhausted and positively terrified, Obi-Wan brushed his fingers on the hilt of his lightsaber, searching his kyber for comfort, but not even the light of Ilum could pierce the encroaching darkness.

"Secure the perimeter, Rex, then call a med unit and wait for us. If we are not back in three hours, leave our hyperspace rings in orbit and return to Mandalore to join the rest of the battle group.”

“With all due respect, Sir, I…”

Imperiously, Obi-Wan raised his hand to stop the man's protests.

“Have I made myself clear, Captain?”

This time, Rex swallowed.

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Good.”

Then Obi-Wan turned on his heels and broke into a run, crossing the vast expanse of blood-red sand with a single-minded focus, leaping over fallen pillars and dashing among sun-bleached bones and effigies of evil monarchs of old.

Had the situation been less dramatic, he would probably had found the time to snort in amusement. Trust Anakin to rush headfirst into a Sith cave because of a darkside-driven vision of someone close to him being in danger - and trust him to follow suit.

***

Obi-Wan had seen the cave on the way from the Academy, a dark crevice opening in the rugged cliff on his left. The Force was so murky he had not felt Anakin's presence inside; he could not sense him even now that he knew where to look.

An old fear took him, the same fear he had felt as he stood behind the red barrier of light, helplessly watching Qui-Gon Jinn fighting Maul and dying at the Sith's hands.

He run as he had never run in his life. Winged creatures of darkness attacked him; he made short work of them, slicing through flesh and bone without even thinking. The Force guided his hand. Which aspect of the Force guided his hand was a question for another time.

When he reached a stone bridge arched across a gaping abyss, Obi-Wan knew his suspects had been founded. Straight out of a youngling’s nightmares, this was no mere cave: this was the tomb of Ludo Kressh, Dark Lord of the Sith.

Always an history enthusiast, Obi-Wan had read enough of the legends about the Sith Lords of old to recognize it. There were rumors about this tombs, whispers of arcane demons still wandering its depths, of dark magic so powerful it could drive a Jedi to madness.

According to ancient annals stored in the deepest vaults of the Archive, a Jedi Master of old had passed unscathed through the chambers, surviving all the horrors the tomb had unleashed upon them. The true nature of those horrors – ghosts, the records had called them – had unfortunately been lost to time; the most widely acknowledged theory was that the tomb forced those who entered it to witness memories that haunted them, fixed moments in time that could never be changed.

If it so, Obi-Wan defiantly thought, I have nothing to fear.

Dark as his past may be, filled with pain, anger and regret, there was nothing in it he could not face head-on. There was nothing he could not face head-on if it meant Anakin's life. Not even Qui-Gon Jinn's death.

He run across the bridge. A rock he accidentally hit fell down across the edge and plummeted into the abyss; no sound of it hitting the bottom ever came.

There it was, the Force barrier: electricity crackled in the air, purple sizzles of long-forgotten dark magic casting eerie shadows against the carved walls of the corridor beyond.

Obi-Wan opened himself to the Force, pulling at the faint threads of light to shroud himself in their warm protection. They broke apart under his touch, crying in distress as they met the darkness around him. He tried twice, then let go.

He didn't have any time to lose. He crossed the threshold unshielded.

***

Obi-Wan found himself in darkness – both in the realm of gross matter and in the Force.

He was standing on the summit of a slope; the ground under his feet was so hot its searing hit seeped past the soles of his boots. The only light in his pitch-black surroundings came from a river of molten fire flowing several feet below him. Still, the lighting was unnatural: not even the red glow of the lava could pierce the thick darkness that surrounded everything. Of one thing he was sure: this was no memory. He had never seen such a place place.

He stood there for a few moments, uncertain on what he was supposed to do. There seemed to be no way of crossing the river of flames, and somehow he knew that this was the direction he would have to go. Something moving at the edge of his line of sight caught his attention just as he was about to climb down the slope.

In precarious equilibrium on a small surface hovering across the lava flow, two figures of shadow were fighting each other, their blades shining in identical sapphire, a sight even more hideous than that of a red lightsaber.

The vilest blasphemy.

Jedi against Jedi.

Fratricide.

Aghast, unable to move, Obi-Wan stood and beheld the fight. The two warriors were good – incredibly good - and this made their duel even more horrific: Obi-Wan was an adept swordsman enough to know they were fighting to death. Still, he could not suppress the awe he felt before this show of skill. He hated to admit it, but it was a thing of beauty.

In all his years at the Temple and on the battlefield, Obi-Wan had never seen anyone fight like this. He had never even dreamed it was possible to fight like this.

A Jedi and a Fallen One.

There was no way of knowing whom was which.

It was a clash of fates. A shatterpoint of faiths.

A duel out of a long-forgotten hero tale.

As the paralyzed universe watched, the blinding sizzle of lightsabers went on. The two contestants fought without quarters, thrusting their blades in search of an opening, body slamming against body, fingers closing around wrist or around soft, frail throat, limbs contorting in a struggle to escape a death grip. Tremors shook the ground and the air; the tension piled up, electric, burning hot and thick in Obi-Wan's blood.

Mortified at the deep, dark thrill washing over him, he averted his gaze.

This was something more than a mere duel of fates.

This was something personal, a deadly dance on the thin line between love and hate.

Two souls beyond salvation making love to each other in the only way they could.

The two blades met again, pressing viciously one against the other. Roused by the sizzling noise, Obi-Wan turned back to watch and felt his hair standing on his arms. One of the two opponents disengaged, backflipping on the slope a few meters above the shore.

Obi-Wan knew, with the bone-deep certainty of the Force, that the duel was nearing its end.

Precognition, or, possibly, mere expertise in the art of swordsmanship told him what was going to happen. He felt the Force gathering around the taller figure, the one still standing on the hovering platform. The man would jump. And the other man would cut him down, probably with a savage mou kai, the Mark of Dismemberment.

This, at least, was what Obi-Wan would have done were he in his place.

He was bracing himself for the gruesome spectacle about to unfold before his eyes when a spurt of lava cast its smoldering light on the face of the soon-to-be victim.

"No!"

Darkness drowned his scream, and Anakin leapt.

It wasn't even a choice. Duty, trust and the overwhelming need to protect guided Obi-Wan's hand.

His own blue blade cut through the traitor's heart.

But, once again, he had been too late.

Just before he died, the unknown warrior had swept his blade in that forbidden move Obi-Wan had predicted, severing in one fell swoop both of Anakin's legs and his flesh arm.

The dead traitor crumbled to the ground in a dark heap, but Obi-Wan didn't even see; the only thing he saw was Anakin's maimed body sliding down the slope, towards the fire. Desperately, still screaming, Obi-Wan tumbled down the hill and gathered what had remained of his Padawan in his arms, cradling him with his eyes blinded by tears. When the stumps of Anakin's legs caught fire, they burned together.

The last scream on Obi-Wan's lips was Anakin's name.

***

“M-Master?"

Darkness. The ground shifting under him. A trickle of perspiration running down his neck.

"Obi-Wan?"

When he heard his name, Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open, but the darkness didn’t lift. He blinked twice, trying to make sense of his predicament. Now that he was almost awake, and more aware of his surroundings, he realized that the shifting ground under him was no ground at all. It was someone’s legs. Startled, he pulled up so fast his vision got black for a moment; he dropped back to his knees.

“Anakin?” he croaked as soon as he had regained his balance, belatedly appreciating the fact that, apparently, neither him nor Anakin of them were dead. He blindly groped around until his hands reached the body on which he had awakened. Anakin twitched under his touch.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Obi-Wan heard him snort. “It was a trap.”

Obi-Wan huffed in relief. “Don't you say,” he said, tiredly mocking him. “Oh, Anakin. Will you ever learn?”

“I learnt from you. Spring the trap,” Anakin quoted, his sass somewhat spoiled by his still shaky voice.

“When we are together, not on your own.”

Obi-Wan could sense Anakin’s smile in the Force. “I knew you’d come,” he said. “Eventually.”

The memory of what he had seen before awakening sent a tendril of fear down Obi-Wan's spine: back then, he had been too late.

“Anakin,” he murmured. “Did you fight anyone?”

Anakin’s confusion echoed through the Force.

“Here, you mean? No, why?”

Sighing in relief, Obi-Wan realized his hands were still on Anakin's chest. He folded them on his lap.

“Nothing. I had a vision. You were fighting someone.”

"Who?"

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. He’s dead.”

“Well, that’s what usually happens when someone is stupid enough to pick a fight with me.”

Obi-Wan didn’t reply. There was nothing amusing in his memory. Anakin, incredibly, was tactful enough to understand he had somehow hit too close to home, and changed the subject. "At any rate, no, I wasn’t fighting anyone. I was just lying here unconscious until you tripped over me."

Snorting, Obi-Wan called his lightsaber to his palm; the blade flared to life, casting its sapphire glow on them. They had been in darkness long enough.

Anakin was half lying, half sitting on the floor, his back propped against something that looked suspiciously like a sarcophagus. Behind it, Obi-Wan could make out what seemed to be the feet and the legs of a ridiculously tall statue of an armored warrior, whose body was lost in the shadows above. Cautiously, Obi-Wan stood up and inserted the hilt of his saber in a empty sconce on the nearest wall, so that it could cast its glow on them without him having to hold it.

“Lovely,” Anakin said, eyeing his surroundings in disgust. “The Sith certainly knew how to brighten up a place.”

“Anakin, it’s a tomb, it doesn't need being bright,” Obi-Wan remarked before he could stop himself, sitting down again beside Anakin.

Anakin waved a hand in dismissal. “Whatever. I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I.” Wearily, Obi-Wan let his head thump back against the sarcophagus. “How in the blazes did you end up unconscious on the sarcophagus of a Sith Lord, Anakin? Honestly, I'm quite intrigued."

Anakin straightened, sitting cross-legged. “We were checking the cave for droids when I saw the Force barrier. I tried to reach out for it, but apparently the dark energy knocked me out for a while, and I think I had a vision." He frowned, his eyes glazed. "I was in a place I’ve never seen before, I’d say it was something like a military base – perhaps a space station. Some of the technology I couldn't recognize."

Trust Anakin to notice these kind of details even in a Sith-driven vision, Obi-Wan thought in fond amusement.

"The only thing I know is that I had to find you," Anakin went on, his voice now tense. "I don’t know why, but I had to. I could sense your presence, I knew you where there, but I couldn't find you... until I found your robes and your lightsaber in a heap on the floor. Then I woke up.” He blushed. "Screaming, according to Rex. I know this doesn't seem much, but trust me, it was creepy."

“And you thought that the best course of action was to come looking for me in a Sith tomb while you knew perfectly well that I was in the archaeological outpost,” Obi-Wan said, fond amusement now turning into frustration. He knew that this ferocious need to save everyone was one of the things that made Anakin so endearing, but it was a terrifying trait for whoever cared about him: it could only too easily become a self-inflicted death sentence.

Anakin shrugged. “Better safe then sorry.”

“I’m afraid that running headlong into a Sith tomb because visions fits more into the definition of sorry rather than safe,” Obi-Wan said in a tight voice.

Anakin jerked his head upright. “Obi-Wan, can you please knock it off?”

“Knock it off? You put yourself in danger and left your men and put me in danger and I have to knock it off?”

Indignantly, Anakin leapt on his feet. “How in the nine Sith hells did I put you in danger?” he spat.

“You knew I would come after you,” Obi-Wan said, dropping his voice and closing his eyes. Attachment. We have come to rely on our attachment to each other. Force preserve us. “You said that yourself. So you knew that I would put myself in danger to come and rescue you. Leaving our men behind.”

To this, Anakin had no reply. He dropped on the sarcophagus; the ancient stone croaked under his weight. “Ok. Sorry, Master,” he said in a flat tone, his head clasped in his hands.

Sighing, Obi-Wan got up and sat beside him.

“I’m not angry at you, Anakin, but don’t do this again,” he said softly. “You gave me quite a scare.”

Anakin blinked, turning towards him. “You… scared?”

“Of course I was. This place reeks of Darkness. Who knows what horrors still lie in these tombs. Wouldn’t you have been scared, were you in my place?”

“Well, that’s the reason why we’re here in the first place, isn't it? Beside me being a kriffing idiot, of course,” Anakin said, snorting. “I was scared.”

Obi-Wan sighed. The last thing he didn't want to deal with right now was Anakin's self pity. "You didn't tell me how you ended up here."

"Keep your pants on, Obi-Wan, I'm getting there."

Obi-Wan knew Anakin enough to sense that he'd rather not get there at all, if he could. "I assure you, my young friend, Sith visions most definitely don't make me want to pull my pants off," he said, trying to ease the tension.

As always, Anakin rose up to the bait. "I'm glad to hear that. Not that I would judge you, of course, but it'd still be quite kinky."

Obi-Wan let out a long-suffering sigh. "Anakin."

"Ok, ok." Clenching his fist, Anakin forced himself to speak. "I had another vision as soon as I crossed the barrier." He closed his eyes. "Do you remember the dead star we saw when I was a child? The white dwarf?"

Obi-Wan nodded, shifting closer to him and sliding one arm across his shoulder to pull him in a reassuring half-hug. He still remembered the blind panic that had taken old of a twelve-year old Anakin at the sight of the spent star, the tears streaking down his round, childish face when Obi-Wan had told him that, just as all things do, even stars burn out. Sighing, Anakin let his head drop on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You had nightmares about it for years," Obi-Wan said.

"Still have," Anakin admitted wearily. "In the vision, I was standing on the bridge of a Star-destroyer, right before the viewport. It was empty - completely empty. No droids, no men, all consoles powered off, but the ship kept going. It was like it was caught in a tractor beam, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. And I didn't want to let the ship go there, I didn't, but I couldn't move, I was just staring at it... I was paralyzed, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan felt a burst of pride swelling in his chest. He knew perfectly how much such a confession was costing him - the so-called Hero with no Fear. He tipped his head sideways to let it rest on Anakin's.

"It was the dead star," Anakin whispered. "Not the white dwarf we saw. It was the dead star of my nightmares. White. Solid. Dead.”

"Solid?" Obi-Wan asked, frowning. "A moon?"

"No, that was no moon," Anakin said, shaking his head. "I could feel the nucleus beneath the crust. Pure energy, like a kyber crystal. I know that stars aren't solid, but this one is. Was. I don't know how to explain." He frowned, as if in search for the right words. “It was sick – distorted. Abused. And I couldn’t stop falling towards it. I was just staring at it, even though I wanted it destroyed. I wanted to crush it, but it crushed me.”

Obi-Wan shivered, remembering Anakin’s maimed body sliding down the slope towards the flames, remembered how he had shattered the unknown man’s heart and how Anakin had died anyway. Their worst fears materializing before them.

“We cannot escape our deaths, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said softly. It was true, no matter how hardly he wished he could protect Anakin from this truth.

Anakin trembled under his fingers. “I know,” he said, his voice croaky. “I always thought death was the worst thing that could happen to anyone. Now I’m not sure anymore.” He paused, biting his lip. “I don’t want to be afraid.”

Oh, Anakin. “It’s this planet,” Obi-Wan said. “And this tomb. If I am right and this is the tomb of Ludo Kressh, it is famous for being haunted.”

Anakin let out a faint snort. “Force, Obi-Wan. First geonosian zombie worms, now ancient Sith magic. You are a weirdo, not a Jedi.”

“Well, one of us needs to know what we are doing,” Obi-Wan protested, faintly offended. “Anyway, some scholars thought that the ghosts in this tomb showed the immutable facts of our lives.” Obi-Wan paused, and Anakin’s horror spiked in the Force. “I think they are wrong," he went on hastily. "I think that what we saw are our worst fears: you told me that yourself, you saw the dead star of your nightmares."

In an instinctive gesture of affection, Obi-Wan lifted a hand to card his fingers through Anakin’s hair; Anakin winced and grabbed Obi-Wan's wrist, pulling away from him. “Don’t.”

Obi-Wan froze, his hand limp in Anakin’s clutch. “I am sorry,” he murmured, afraid to have crossed an unspoken barrier. He couldn't deny that, affectionate as they were, it was unusual for them to be this tactile - only during the second battle of Geonosis they had reached such... intimacy. Obi-Wan could still remember the heat spreading through him as they bantered throughout the battle briefing, Anakin's sheer relief when he had found him still alive, the way they had struggled to find a moment away from peering eyes just to hug each other in a crushing embrace. He blushed as he remembered what he had dreamt in his painkiller-induced sleep after the battle. War had given them that intimacy, and war had taken it away from them before it could even bloom.

“No, no,” Anakin blurted, apparently grasping the surface of the thought - at least, Obi-Wan hoped it was just the surface. “I mean… My hair is soaked with sweat.”

Oh. Obi-Wan’s shoulders relaxed; his lips curled in a crooked smile.

“Do you think it would bother me?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’ve had your blood on my hands more times than I care to remember – and your vomit too, now that I think about it,” he added with a smirk.

Anakin grimaced in disgust. “Did you really have to bring that up? I was ten!”

Chuckling, Obi-Wan lifted his hand again, brushing his fingers against Anakin’s cheek. Anakin leant into the touch, his eyes fluttering close. Obi-Wan hadn’t seen him this vulnerable since after the first battle of Geonosis, in the aftermath of the loss of his hand. Back then, his fragility had been that of a devastated teenager who had broken down; now, though, it was a grown man deliberately shedding every defense before someone he trusted with his life. The realization made Obi-Wan shiver again; Anakin, apparently, misread the sentiment. He turned abruptly to face him, his hands raising to cup his face.

“What did you see, Obi-Wan?” he asked, his eyes wide and burning.

Obi-Wan straightened his back, painfully conscious of how near him Anakin was. “I don’t see how thi-”

“Tell me.” The voice of a General. Obi-Wan swallowed.

“I saw you die. I tried to kill the man you were fighting, but he got to you anyway. It was Qui-Gon all over again, only that this time I could have done something… But I failed.”

“Your worst fear is watching me die?” Anakin croaked.

Obi-Wan blinked. “Yes. Of course. What else?”

Anakin leant closer, so close that Obi-Wan could see every crack on his lips as they moved. “Because of Qui-Gon?”

There was no easy answer to that. The death of his Master had left him scarred; it had taken years for Obi-Wan to overcome the trauma. But somewhere deep in himself he knew that a life without Anakin by his side would have been his worst fear even if Qui-Gon had lived. To run away from the truth hiding behind his Master's death would have been a betrayal of Qui-Gon's memory and of Anakin’s trust.

“No,” he admitted slowly. “At least, not entirely. Perhaps the fear of watching you die and being unable to help is affected by my trauma, but... we are at war, Anakin. We both know that not even our abilities can guarantee that we will live to see its end. We march into each battle knowing it may be the last. It’s only natural that I fear losing you.” The more he talked, the hoarser his voice became, until his last words were nothing more than a rasping whisper. Anakin was so close, too close, and when he swept his tongue on his quivering lips, covering them in a thin film of moisture, Obi-Wan had to swallow a gasp. Something red and dark pooled in his groin. He remembered the wanton way Anakin had slammed his body against that of his unnamed opponent, the carnal heat of their fight. Blind jealousy shot through him, and he felt a black jolt of grim pleasure at the memory of his blade cutting through the man’s heart – the same ecstasy he had felt as he watched Darth Maul’s severed body plummeting down into the abyss.

“But you killed him?” Anakin asked, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. “The man who murdered me?”

“Yes.” Revenge was not the Jedi way, and Obi-Wan tried to tell himself he had acted only to save Anakin. Without even realizing, he leant closer. His hand slid back into Anakin's damp hair. “I put a blade through his heart the moment he struck you down.”

“Good.”

For a long moment they stood together in precarious balance on the edge of the precipice, mouth a hair's breadth from mouth, just close enough that Anakin's warm breath fluttered on and past Obi-Wan's already parted lips.

Obi-Wan had always known that, once started, this was a fight he could not win; there was no fighting gravity, the eternal law binding gross matter and pulling him towards Anakin, the burning fulcrum of his life.

Not on a Sith Lord's tomb, was his only half-rational thought as he closed the distance between them.

Shaking, he let himself fall, pushing Anakin down with him and pinning him against the cold floor with his weight. Anakin's lips were there to catch him, warm and damp, primigenial.

Anakin kissed like he flied: bold and impetuous, smothering his inner fire in the absence of thought, his fingers tracing deep creases on Obi-Wan's back. For once, Obi-Wan soared with him, high among the stars, kissing him as he had never kissed before – as he had never done anything else before, with an abandonment he had never felt, with the same forbidden eroticism of the battle he had witnessed, his hands entangled in Anakin's hair.

They pulled apart, gasping for air, and guilt washed over Obi-Wan; frantically, he searched Anakin's face for a sign of regret for what had just happened. He found his eyes, and they were wide, darkened from arousal, impossibly blue in the light of Obi-Wan's plasma blade.

Gently, Anakin lifted a finger and touched Obi-Wan’s cheekbone, tracing a languid path towards his lips. Obi-Wan leant into the touch with a sigh and his eyes fluttered close, but only for the briefest moment: he could not bear to lose the sight of Anakin lying under him, eyes wide and wet lips slightly apart.

Anakin's hand slid back, his fingers curling against the short hair on the back of Obi-Wan's neck, pulling him down for another kiss, mouth against mouth, desperate, drowning. Obi-Wan's hands traced the lean lines of Anakin's body, a body he knew better than his own and yet didn't know; his mouth slid down Anakin's neck, kissing and licking, eliciting small gasps. He could feel Anakin's own desire burning in the Force, intermingled with his, their barriers falling one after the other, crumpling to dust.

Slowly, deliberately, Obi-Wan tipped his head back to watch Anakin as he pressed his hips down on his, grinding his already almost full erection against Anakin's. The small sound Anakin made as his lips opened in pleasure sent a dark flame of arousal through Obi-Wan's body; clumsily, hungrily, he let his lips slide down over Anakin's jawbone, leaving a trail of hot dampness and small bites that made Anakin whimper under his wandering hands.

Reverentially, he let them slide down Anakin's muscled chest, down towards his belt and further down. Anakin moaned again, thrusting his hips upwards into Obi-Wan; then, he opened his legs, letting Obi-Wan in between them, clutching his hipbones with his strong thighs.

"Oh," was all Obi-Wan could say, all rational thought crumbling to ashes in the firestorm, Anakin's own arousal pressing against his stomach.

Then, the firestorm was inside him, burning, a urge more powerful than that of sex, stronger than honor and duty and vows. Panicked, Obi-Wan froze, his lips stilling on Anakin's collarbone.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin moaned, distress for the interruption intermingled with worry.

“Anakin. I-” Obi-Wan knew what he wanted - needed to do. It was only right that he did it before he and Anakin crossed this last barrier together - no more secrets, no more lies. Still, he stumbled on the words. They had been true before, and for others than Anakin, but Anakin was the first person for whom Obi-Wan was willing to say them out loud. The first person for whom the words were more important than anything else. The Force itself seemed to nod in tacit consent. “I-”

His commlink started to beep with the high-pitched tone of the emergency channel. Dismay flashed across Anakin’s face, and he looked away. Obi-Wan cursed softly, letting out a ragged breath and trying to compose himself before tapping the comm open.

“Kenobi.”

“General. We have an urgent message from the Jedi Council.”

Blast. With a sigh, Obi-Wan rolled off of Anakin and scowled at the black ceiling.

“Put it through, Cody. Standing by.”

Anakin had propped himself on an elbow, and was watching him with wide eyes still glazed with lust. Obi-Wan couldn't help smiling, and was rewarded by a grin as blinding as the light of Tatooine’s twin suns, even if a little giddy. The grin he had not seen on Anakin's face for years. Hope bloomed inside him, hope for a newly found trust after all the lies and the shadows of these three years of war.

“You were saying, Master?” Anakin asked, and leant over to kiss him swiftly, nothing more than a brush of lips against lips.

"Obi-Wan. "

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes in frustration, eliciting a smirk from Anakin, who pulled away.

“Kenobi here.”

“Obi-Wan. Coruscant is under siege. Grievous has kidnapped the Chancellor. We need you and Anakin back now to lead the rescue mission.”

Anakin was on his feet even before Mace had finished speaking, his fist clenched in rage and fear.

"What?"

Exhausted, Obi-Wan nodded.

“We are on our way.”

And perhaps it is better this way, Obi-Wan thought as they rushed out of the Temple. The place was tainted with darkness, and they had both been too emotional and raw. Too unbalanced because of those horrific visions of fears that would never become real.

This is not how I want it to be.

I will tell Anakin I love him when the war is over.

#obikin #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars prequels #star wars the clone wars #tcw

8 notes · View notes

cats-inthe-cradle · 2 years

Text

I'm trying to come up with personalities and stuff for the 10 cadets I mentioned here but I'm struggling so, feel free to ask me about any of the below cadets and I'll tell you what I have for each so far. It's mostly just appearances and a bit of personality for some. Also feel free to send in suggestions!

Squad Aurek:

Squad Besh:

#star wars #clone trooper ocs #clone cadets #cradle talks #cradle's ocs #immortal fives & kix 50 years later #au of an au #of an au?#feel free to ask about fives and kix in this au too

1 note · View note

gahmah-raan · 10 months

Text

Spectre - Besh Squad Shadow

This is the last of the Besh Squad pieces.

Subject: Tsai Ventia (Codename: Spectre) Species: Kyuzo Homeworld: Phatrong Gender: Female Age: 50 Affiliation: Rebel Alliance, New Republic, Galactic Alliance (Besh Squad)

Very little is known about the Kyuzo that goes by the codename of Spectre, but befitting her name, she's rather aloof. Shockingly, she's over a decade older than her direct superior, Captain Xadisall Varessi. Some say she fought against the Empire as a teenager (and since Kyuzo can live over 150 years, she is not even middle-aged) and even fought alongside Xadisall's parents. During the Yuuzhan Vong invasion, she lost her left eye to a Yuuzhan Vong thud bug.

Lacking very little presence, Spectre often takes on the role of scout, sniper, and spy for Besh Squad. However, she doesn't participate in every mission the squad's involved in. Coming from a world with high gravity, Spectre has incredible muscle density that makes her deadly close-quarters combatant and can easily jump to an ideal sniping position. Fitting her role, she doesn't wear Besh Squad's usual colors in favor of camouflagic armor. Like many Kyuzo, she wears a sturdy war helmet that can function as both a shield and a throwing weapon.

#star wars #paranormalities #oc #original character #fanfiction #alien #artists on tumblr #kyuzo oc #kyuzo #rebel commando #sniper #gahmah raan artwork #besh squad

1 note · View note

teagrl · 6 years

Text

Shatterpoint quotes part 1

For my own reference, I’m amassing relevant quotes from Shatterpoint, re colonialist discourse. Long post.

The spaceport at Pelek Baw smelled clean. It wasn’t. Typical backworld port: filthy, disorganized, half choked with rusted remnants of disabled ships.

At the Temple, we teach that the only true mistake a Jedi ever makes is to fail to trust the Force. Jedi do not “figure things out” or “come up with a plan.” Such actions are the opposite of what being a Jedi means. We let the Force flow through us, and ride its currents to peace and justice. Most of Jedi training involves learning to trust our instincts, our feelings, as opposed to our intellects. A Jedi must learn to “unthink” a situation, to “unact”: to become an empty vessel for the Force to fill with wisdom and action. We feel the truth when we stop analyzing it. The Force acts through us when we surrender all effort. A Jedi does not decide. A Jedi trusts.

To put it another way: we are not trained to think. We are trained to know.

But at Geonosis, our knowing failed us all.

Though he couldn’t say for certain that it would be any more chancy than spending more time with these young Korunnai. They worried him; they had enough Force-touch to be unpredictable, and enough savagery to be dangerously powerful.

Korunnai were Force-users. But they’d never had Jedi training. These radiated darkness: as though they came from some reversed universe, where light is only a shadow cast by the darkness of the stars. Their anger and pain beat against him in waves that triggered resonance harmonics in his own heart. Without knowing it, they called to emotions that Mace’s lifetime of Jedi training was supposed to have buried.And those buried emotions were already stirring to answer…

“I think we’ll all speak Basic now,” Mace said. “Any being will soon enough tire of listening to conversation in a foreign tongue.” Which was not even a lie.

Chalk gave him a dark look. “Here, Basic is foreign tongue.”

“Fair enough,” Mace allowed. “Nonetheless: when I am in your company, that is what we will speak.”

“Yeah, okay, sure. Whatever. Master Billaba tries to explain it like this. It’s like, you live in the galaxy, y’know? The other galaxy.”

“The other galaxy? Mace frowned. “Go on.”

“She says…she says that you—all ofou, the Jedi, the government, everybody—you’re, like, from the Galaxy of Peace. You’re from the galaxy where rules are rules, and almost everybody plays along. Haruun Kal, though, we’re a whole different place, y’know? It’s like the laws of physics are different. Not opposite, not up is down or black is white. Nothing that simple. Just…different. So when you come here, you expect things to work a certain way. But they don’t. Because things are different, here. You understand?”

A deep uneasiness coiled behind his ribs. Were he not a Jedi and immune to such things, he might call it superstitious dread. An unreasoning fear: that he had left the galaxy behind in the groundcar; that civilization itself was bouncing away down the road to Pelek Baw. Leaving him out here.

Out here with the jungle.

“That’s what war is,” Nick said. His voice had lost its mocking edge, and sounded almost kind. “It’s like the jungle: by the time the Whatever-It-Is that’s moving through the trees out there is close

enough that you can see for sure what it is—or who it is—you’re already dead. So you make your best guess. Sometimes you’re right, and you take out an enemy, or spare an ally. Sometimes you’re wrong. Then you die. Or you have to live with having killed a friend.”

He showed his teeth, but his smile had no warmth left in it. “And sometimes you’re right and you die anyway. Sometimes your friend isn’t a friend. You never know. You can’t know.”

“I can. That’s part of what being a Jedi is.”

Lesh and Besh were in the war from stark hatred of the Balawai. A couple of years before, Besh had been kidnapped by jungle prospectors. His missing fingers had been cut off, one at a time, by the Balawai, to force him to answer questions about the location of a supposed treasure grove of lammas trees. When he could not answer these questions—in fact, the treasure grove was only a myth—they assumed he was just stubborn. “If you won’t answer us,” one had said, “we’ll make sure you never answer anyone else, either.”

Besh never spoke because he couldn’t. The Balawai had cut out his tongue.

Chalk proved a surprise to Mace; guessing what he had of what had happened to her, he’d expected that she would be fighting out of a personal vendetta not unlike Lesh and Besh. On the contrary: even before joining the ULF, she and some members of her ghôsh had hunted down the men who’d molested her—a five-man squad of regular militia, and their noncom—and given them the traditional Korun punishment for such crimes. This was called tan pel’trokal,which roughly translated as “jungle justice.”

The guilty men were kidnapped, spirited away a hundred kilometers from the nearest settlement, then stripped of equipment, clothing, food. Everything. And released.

Naked. In the jungle.

Very, very few men had ever survived tan pel’trokal. These didn’t.

So Chalk did not fight for revenge; in her own words, “Tough girl, me. Big. Strong. Good fighter. Didn’t want to be. Had to be. How I lived through what they did, me. Fought, me. Never stopped fighting. And lived through it. Now I fight so other girls don’t have to fight. Get to be girls, them. You follow? Only two ways to stop me: kill me, or show me no girls have to fight.”

“That’s an interesting way of using—” He dredged from the depths of thirty-five-year-old memory the Koruun word for the Force. Pelekotan: roughly, “world-power.” “—pelekotan. Is this something you’ve always been able to do?”

What Mace was really asking—what he was afraid to ask outright: Did Depa teach you that?

If she was teaching Jedi skills to people who were too old to learn Jedi discipline…people with no defense against the dark side…

“You don’t use pelekotan,” Chalk said. “Pelekotan uses you.”

This was not a comforting answer.

Mace recalled that the strict, literal translation of the word was “jungle-mind.”He discovered that he didn’t really want to think about it. In his head, he kept hearing: …I have become the darkness in the jungle…

#Shatterpoint #Mace Windu #colonialism #The Heart of Darkness in our War in the Stars

10 notes · View notes

kukumberry · 6 years

Photo

So sharing my EXO moments... Sorry na haha kdrama lang kasi ako always... May 1st when I saw a clip from EXO next door web drama series nung ma notice ko si Chanyeol 😍 and the squad of course.. emeged... 귀엽다 hahaha.. Then last friday mega walking at The Pearl, hanap ng spot for photoshoot... then from a far sabi ko parang familiar yung nasa poster.. (Lakad ng mabilis palapit, sight ng mabuti kase malabo ang mata 😂) omyy.. EXO... Mother picture dalii 😂😂 EXO qatar besh.. Kala ko pa nga dadating sila 😄😄😄 they're celebrating pala dahil 6 yrs na ang EXO. (Based on my research 😅) so yun lang 😀 #exoqatar @exoqatar #6yearswithexo p.s. don't know much about them pa but downloaded their #kokobop song 😆🎶 pps. Beks, dapat dati nyo pa sila inintroduce sakin 😂😂 @shei.0515 @bumblejet94 @julie (at The Pearl Qatar)

#6yearswithexo #kokobop #exoqatar

1 note · View note

itsmecessy · 4 years

Text

Having You Near Me

Most people say that I shouldn't care much on looking for someone to be with given my young age. But I couldn’t just shrug the thought when most girls in my age are already in a relationship.

It hurts and made me feel so frustrated because every time that I hang up with my squad, my role is just a “third-wheel” and I’m so tired for that role. All of them are holding hands while walking with their boyfriend or girlfriend and as usual I look like their maid following them anywhere they want to go.

By the way, I’m Queencess Quinn Dela Torre, an 18 years old girl living in Olongapo City and currently Grade 12 HUMSS student at Maxwell Prime University . When I was a child I’m just a simple girl staying just on my room watching cartoons and playing indoor games at home, in short I am an “introvert girl when I was a little”. As time passes by, everything has changed about me when I meet my bestfriend Hailey, Hailey Chantal Buenavetura. AsI witnessed her long time ago, I describe her as DORA because she is an explorer girl. She loves exploring something that is new in the present nor traveling.

Well, Everyone knows me as a simple and a minimalist girl before but for some reason, because of I learned to explore and enjoy trends in today’s generation. In this time of pandemic we need to be quarantined not because we are infected but just for our safety. Even though I used to be alone before, I still feel or experience boredom.

For the reason that I was bored, I contact my bff for me to surpass those problems because its killing me.

“bebs!! I’m bored. I don’t know what to do! I don’t play games thooooo.”

“besh…. explore, explore, explore!” Hailey said.

“Ughhh there you go again dora! HAKHAKAHKA.”

She smirked and said “STOP!! Grrrrr!”

“HAKAHKAHKA, youre so cute everytime you act like that bebs! Can you just do it one more time?”

“stop it its not funny!” she said.

“no more bully… but bebs!! help!! I’m bored!”

“okay..fine! I use yugo whenever I’m bored”

“huh? what’s that?”

“besh, it is an app wherein you can make friends with others.”hailey said while eating.

“but.. how?”

“its like a dating but not usually like that. You can swipe left and right too if you want to add someone also you can search if ever you have someone you know that is also using that app. The difference of of the two is you do live stream and watch with your friends there and meet new people in live..uhggg its hard to explain.” hailey said while discussing it hard.

“owwwww.. thats cool… I’ll try it later!”

“just explore the app and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

“thank you bebs!! you’re the best!!! luvyah dora!”

“stop calling me dora!!! hays”she smirked again and said “luvyah too.” with disappointment on her face.

“HAAKAHKAHKHA!! okay fine! Byeeee. Mwuahh”

“bye besh!”

At first, I didn’t enjoy the app because I’m not used to it. I’m just a simple girl and if you try to look my phone, the only application that you can see are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Youtube. Yes, I’ve changed and not the girl tat they know before but duh, yubo is not my type. I don’t do live stream and I don’t feel talking to someone I didn’t know.

After a month, I gave yugo a second chance. I patiently explore what is the beauty of that app. I started to watch live streams and unexpectedly enjoy watching those streamers who are enjoying the bond they have. One night, I open up my yugo and started live hopping again to watch different streamers and as time passes I received invitation to stream with them but for some reason, I’m not that confident because I’m shy so I declined. After a week, I still do my yugo routine but this time I accept invitations already and I do live stream already and have friend with everyone.Yugo app helps me to fill up myself whenever I’m bored for so many months.

There was I time, my junior highshool classmate shakira marie called me and had some talks about life or something. Honestly, that was the beginning of our friendship and we started to talk and have fun during quarantine. Since its been a month since I’m using yugo, I decided to take a rest from using it and continue having fun with kira.

“kira!”

“long time no talk!” kira said

“how are you? I missed you!”

“well, I’m good and still pretty same as you and I missed you too gurl!”

“HAKHAKHAAHK”

“do you know yugo?.” kira asked.

“yes, I’am!. I have yugo account too!”

“what a coincidence!” kira said with excitement.

“let do live stream sometimes!”

“sure why not!”kira answered.

After knowing that kira knows about yugo, we have been live streaming for almost five months, we already had a lot of friend in yugo and enjoys streaming every night. For five months, we never missed one day of streaming, everyday and every night we do yugo “routine” sounds fun right?. We’re tripping and having fun whenever someone came and stream with us (sometimes we flirt).

One day, when kira and I are waiting for our online class while we were streaming, someone raised his hand wanted to live stream with us and his name is King Glean Javier he’s from Infanta, Quezon Provice same as me Grade 12 student taking STEM curriculum. Kira and I had fun with him but for awhile, kira felt so hungry and left us streaming. While king and I are streaming alone and no one is watching, king open up and started to talk about his past.

“cess, have you been in a relationship?” king asked.

“why’d you ask?”

“how long have you been in a relationship?” he asked again

“okay okay… yes I’ve been in a relationship but it last just for 2 months I think?”

“why did you guys broke up?”

“actually my ex and I have never been I a fight, I just let him do what ever he wanted to do but I think did something wrong in that part because I just let him do everything he wants?”

“but by do you think you’re wrong?”

“ I’m wrong in the way that I “tolerate” his vices because I let him do what ever he wants to do to the point that I let him forget that he has a girlfriend waiting for his chats. I’ve been too considerate for him even though he doesn't make time for me anymore because I want him to be happy. To be honest, I don’t want him to let him go but I think there’s something wrong”

“awww, he’s so lucky but he didn’t prioritize you and keep you with love, I understand what your point is. I hope you’re okay now.” king said.

“how about you? I think you had something you want to say about your past for some reason.”

“actually I’m broken, I’ve been in a relationship in two years and five months.” he said

“aww! That’s long, but why does it ends?”

During this quarantine, were not allowed to roam outside since we are just a minor. One time I chatted her that I am supposed to go on their but suddenly she no, and she is so sorry because she doesn’t love him anymore and she’s with her new man. Even though she refused, I still go to their place and yah we talked to each other and she said sorry to me. But all I can is just to accept and let her go even if it hurts.” king said with mixed emotions.

“aww, that hurts but we just did our part.”

“yess! Kira is already here!!” king shouted.

When kira is already in, after fifteen minutes we decided to end up our live stream because king had to go and prepare for hin onlice class at one o'clock on the after noon and kira and I doesn’t have class that time. Around one thirty pm while I am scrolling at my social medias account, I saw King Glean sent me a friend request and that was an expected things to me and because I know him already, I accepted his request and I unexpectedly received wave message from him and yes, I waved back to him and started a conversation that day.

King told me that he didn’t expect me to accept his request since we just meet online which is on yugo and I told him that “why would I do that if I know you?” also he keeps telling that he is very comfortable with me and just like that and I am fun to be with and that day that we chatted to each other, that was the beginning for to know each other well. As time passes by, we had a lot of talks about our past and he send some picture like family pictures, we do random video calls, updates and were having fun a lot of time.

King made me feel excited every time that he is sending me a message and calling me every-time, I don’t know what to do but to stop what I am thinking for because there was a time that our topic is about entering again in a relationship again. One day he asked if ever that some will come into my life again, am I ready to be in a relationship again? And I told him yes but I asked that question back to him but hi didn’t answer. Also there was a time that he asked me if he’s attractive and I said “yes, you’re attractive the you are.” also the thing that I felt so excited because of him and he reminded me that he was not simping and he was just showy and clingy person. For some reason, king asked me like if am I “ghoster or not” because some of the other girls did that stupid things to him before and made him felt so bad.

“queen, I’m not saying this to you just to disappoint you or hurt you haaa, I was just thinking of you ghosting me someday.”

“uhmmm, its okay that you asked something like that to. But I must to you that majority of those guys or friends who came into my life are the first people who got tired off, not me. I don’t usually have an intentions of doing that stupid thing to someone because I know the feeling of being left behind or ghosted. So why would I do those event to people who are welcome to me but unfortunately, not welcome to them?” I answered.

“well, I got your point but this time, I want you to know that I will not let you feel what you felt from those people did that stupid case to you, I promise.”

“ I wanted them to stay but they’re looking for better person that I am. But you know its not our lost and we deserve better.” I added.

“yes we are.” he answered

“ you if I will be given a chance to tell something to those people who left you, I will tell the that “you lost a potential guy” jakahkhaka, bumble be like!

“how crazy lil silly you are!” he said

“king, lets just put in our mind that we did our part, they just let their stupidity dominant than being intelligent when it comes from hitting up!” I said.

“they need seminar from us!” his naughty answer.

After a week of communication, king suddenly didn’t send good morning because I’ve never missed receiving good-morning message for him and it made me feel sad. Eleven o’clock in the morning kira and I decided to stream and had talk about ourselves. While streaming I saw king watching our live and I started to share something about me while he still watching us.

“kira you know what, I’m clingy and approachable in person.”

“of course I know that” kira’s answer.

“but online, I’m not. I want someone will hit me up not me. I just want the first way of hitting up with someone in an opposite gender. In our culture before, the girls are sitting in pretty white the guys are the one who do the first move” I said.

Kira answered back, “sisz, at this point in time, we had an different world!, this, the girls are the one who’s doing the first move or the one who’s hitting up first not the guys anymore…. but not all the but most of the time hkahkahah”

“well, I’m just telling my side thooo, that’s my stupid mindset!”

“then try hitting up first so you will no gonna bored sisz!” kira said.

After that conversation with kira, king left and we just continue our talk. After thirty minutes that he had left, king is back and I said hi to him and he replied, “hello my baby”. after that reply, I felt so fluttered and that’s why I don’t know what to say but to laugh. That day I’m still curious why he’s not messaging me and I’m not feeling good that day that is why I post a status at my social media saying “aww, no chat and no good morning for today :(“.

As I woke up the next day, I felt so happy because he already messaged me and unexpectedly confront about my status.

“Good-morning baby, char” king’s message.

“aww, good-morning!” while I felt so fluttered.

“what was that drama?” he asked

“what?”

King sent the screenshot of my status.

“ahhhhh, don’t mind it thoooo. HAHKAHKA”

“wait for awhile, my mom calls me to eat and you too” king asked.

“okie, eat well”

While king is eating, there’s a lot of thing out of my mind. I’m curious about his moves. He’s too sweet all of a sudden.

“hello my baby! Char” he said

“too fast ha.. hkahka”

“too fast?” he asked

“too fast to eat…” I answered.

“ahy, I had the wrong idea.. hakhka”

“huh? Hkahka”

At that point, I already knew about what is in his mind. I started to doubt and over-think what will happen next. I had this feelings that I can’t really even explain why am I too nervous or paranoid about something. There was a time that, because of this bad feelings, I always think about something that made my mind boast.

I had a lots of “what ifs” in my mind, “what if this guy left me?”, “what if he likes me too but he’s hesitating to tell or open up with me?”, “what if he still love his first love?”, “what if his first came back and left me behind?” ,“ what if we were not having a one sided love?”. but as time passes by, all those “what ifs” that I was scared off are suddenly happened on its time. Not in a negative way but positive and fluttering.

King said, “what is this?”, “what are this convos of us?”

“hala (omg)” I said as I felt my heart aching because of beating so fast.

“ I’m just asking, we had a lot of random video calls, right?, I always update you about me and you almost know my routine everyday, my errands, even my movements hkaha joke, etc.” he said.

“uhmmmmm.” speechless me.

“ for you what are these?” he asked.

“uhmmm, for me, this was just a typical convos just what like the others doing.” I know you and I know your side thooo.” I answered.

“but, what do you think you know about me?” he asked

“well, as far as I know, you don’t have plans to flirt since you’re not yet healed from you past right? You told me that you’re just showing who you are truly, right?” I said.

“ let’s say that “I’m not yet totally healed from the past”, but for me, I’m okay now. I already accepted the fact that we are not together anymore and we already had clear and good closure.” he said. “ I’m just holding back to open up with you before but since we were just seeing or meeting each other online.” he added.

“then, what do you mean by that feelings?” I answered. “how cute you are hkakhaa”

“I LIKE YOU, but the thing is I don’t think that fell the same way as me. Also were long distanced to each other” king said.

“ wait, is this a prank?” I asked

“why am I pranking you in this serious conversation?” king said.

All this time, I told king that, “I thought that it was all one sided”. For the reason that I don’t want hoping for someone and holding on to someone that will never last, I always taught myself not to be stupid in this kind of situations. Before this time came, I forced myself not to fall for him even though he shows motives about having feelings for me. I forces myself to put in mind that “two broken people will never make whole”. I forced myself not to be “fragile as glass” wherein someone will make me fall and no one will catch me and became just like a broken glass. I’m tired, tired of being left behind or ghosted, and begins from the start just like a cycle of pain, but suddenly my world stopped and I look like a dog, a dog that making face like I did something stupid, sitting on the corner of my room, thinking about ,“should I give a chance for us to flirt and build love for each other or not?”

Even though I over-think about him, I always think if how could I I know the answers about certain things that made think badly if I would not give it a try?. Everything has its different outcomes, they may be negative or positive. So what if I give it a try and in result, it will give happiness?

I said to king, “i understand you concern for me and you, yes were long distanced to each other, but don’t be too sad for it.”

“ I know that this is fast, but what if the time comes and you’ll the true colors of me? Would you still like me or not?” he said. “I know this isn’t formal, but I like you”. with sad emoji. “and I thingk you’re holding back”. he added.

“ I want you to know that I’ am not holding back. Honestly, I thought everything was just a one sided “feelings”. also, one of my weaknesses is attachment and I think I am attached from you.” I said.

“ therefore, that explains the rant on you facebook status?” he asked.

“yes, because I’m used to it already. Every I have good-mornings from you but suddenly, in just one changes it feels so bat for me.” I answered with sad emoji.

“ I just did that because I want to know if you will still chat when I an not messaging you, if you will look for me when I’m not around or online, but as u said in live with kasi, you’re not hitting up yourself and what you want is someone will hit you up on chat.” he said.”

“ but I messaged you that time!” I said while laughing.

After this, king told me not to tell kira about us, and as I respect his decision, i promised him that I will not tell kira about us for him. And continue our conversation about the fb post.

When king didn’t chat that time, I wasn’t supposing to chat him at night because I don’t know how to start, I don’t have any topics to start with but some of my friend pranked about lazada something. So that was the topic I brought up with him.

Although, I had this negatinve mindset in my head, i cant stop thinking about him. King is very different from all those guys that I have met online. He is very genuine, respectful, and an ideal guy for me. He respect me the way he respect his parents as I’ve seen in every video call we had and no words can explain how go he is. I like him just the way he is.

So as we continue our conversation that day, king told that he was just holding back before but fuck I was too far from him and he cant go here for me.

“ don’t that I was just holding back before because you’re too far from me and I cant go there for you?” he said

I said, “don’t you thing that I was just “nagpaparinig” or telling those things for a purpose? But it was true..”

“I can't be with you and i cant see yo, I can't hug you, I can't smell you and it’s fucking frustrating.” he sadly reply.

“aww, too cute…hmmm”, “ don’t message me on my second account ha, I want you here in my main.” I said.

“well, why do you need second account huh?” he asked?

“ that was long time ago, don’t be too curious.”

King suddenly became so funny and said, “Im just clingy not horny, HAHAHAHAHA.”

I replied, “well, that’s good, I’m scared from those who are like that… hkahka”

I thought when king wasn’t chatting me, that was the end of us but its not. He told that whenever he was not messaging me, he is busy doing something. After telling me about that, we have talked about how long is the traveling hour from here in longapo to infanta and it was too long. As I estimate the hours on how long the travel from olongapo to manila, it was two to three hours away and from infanta to manila, it was three to five hours. Therefore the estimated time from infanta to olongapo, it was too tiring to travel because it will be six to eight hours of traveling.

Within the day of our conversation, as I said before, king is always flooding me with his pictures. I already have his family pictures, pictures with his classmates and friends, his pictures of a beautiful view when he was resting after long ride of biking, also from being toddler to present. And I was so fluttered about it because the reason why he send his pictures is for me to avoid feeling lonely when I’m alone.

“i’ll send you my pictures ha, I just wanted you not to feel bad or lonely when you’re alone.”

“ awww, you’re too cute and sweet..” I replied.

“well, I’m cute when I was a child but what happened now?”he ranted.

“you’re still cute until now, you’re cute when you smile, that’s why I felt so fluttered whenever I see your smile..” I said.

“so you like my smile, you’re turned on whenever I smiled?”

“yes? Hkahaka” I said.

“ can I say I love you?” he asked

“of course! Why not?” I answered.

“ I love you my queen” he said with emojis showing love

“ I love you too my king” I replied when feeling so fluttered.

After a month of getting to know each other well, one of the thing that I have been flattered about him is that, he asked me all of a sudden about “what is my favourite song is?”. And I told him my favourite song was “having you near me”. When I told him about that, after a minute of time, he called me and I was shocked because as I answered his call, my favourite song is playing on his laptop. And as we were video calling for a month already, he still playing it and lip syncing it for me.

So for a month of knowing each other, king decided to tell kira about us. And we planned to tell her in live so there’s a lot of fun that will be hold on.

“babe, lets do live at yugo and tell kira about us.” king said.

“sure, no problem but how?” I asked.

“we’ll let think, since sometimes her brain-cells are slow, hkahkaha.” he replied.

“you’re too harsh babe! Ahakha.” I replied.

“let’s go then..” he said.

When we were live streaming with kira, we were just acting like normal. We acted normal until the time comes for us to do what we planned awhile ago. During our stream, I told kira that I have something to tell her but there was a viewer who wants to stream with us and she send an invitation for it and suddenly didn’t hear and asked me what did I said.

“hi sisz!!!” kira said.

“hello, king ask if what time are we going to stream and I told him that “right now” I said to kira.

“hhkahak, hey king is here now!” kira shouted.

“come up here king!” I said.

“hello guys!, wazzup? ” king said.

“hello!” kira and I said.

“kira, queen had something to tell you.” king said.

“whatttt!????” I shouted.

“wait, someone wants to stream with us, let me invite her.” kira said.

King and I continue to talk like at the same time that’s why its too loud to here.

“hey, what are you guys up to?” kira asked.

“nothing thooo, hkahkahka” I answered.

There was a viewer named “love” and everyone said “sana all love”

“sana all love” I said.

“ I love you babe!” king said

“ luhhh!, are you guys flirting?” kira said!

“ uhmmmm, yes?” I answered.

“ now, you knew it already! So we don’t have to think that much about us when it comes to you.. hkahka” king said.

When kira already knew about us, kira started to asked non stop about us, he aske so many things like how we started to open up to each other and king was the only one who’s answering all those question from kira since he was just the that kira was asking for.

“omg, king what’s poppin! Char”. kira asked.

“hkhahka,” king laughed.

“so, you like her?” asked kira.

“yes, I like her and I love her” king answered genuinely.

“sana all!” she shouted. “ but how and why?” kira asked.

“ I like and love her just the way she and no words can explain how I feel for her” king answered.

“stop asking, but the only thing that we can say is were both mutual, we like and love each other, hkahkah” I said.

“okay, fine! Sana all!” kira said.

“hey king! I just want to remind you ha, don’t make my bb gurl hurt ha or else you’ll be dead from me.” kira’s threat.

“ of course no!, I know the feelings of being hurt and why would I do those thing to my queen. She deserve to be loved not to be hurt” king answered.

“so, if you guys needs help, I’m always here for the two of you! I luh yuh” kira’s advice.

After our stream, king and I talked in facebook chat about the reaction of kira when we already told her about us. We were surprised about her reaction, she shouted and her eyes widened and she flustered about us.

On the next day, since king told me that they will be having a long ride from five to nine am, I waited for so long for him and flooded him a lot of messages until they came back home and called me even he’s not yet changed. I told him to rest but he resist because he wants me to see and to talk with.

Since we were running out of topics, I opened up someone who wont stop hitting me up, he’s too cringy and he doesn’t stop calling me baby, love, babe or something and he’s getting into my nerves every time he’s asking me for time even though I’m not that interested to him. Upon knowing all my rants about that guy, king decided to confront him and ask him to keep distance from me. while confronting him, the guy replied a lot of things that not makes sense as we were screen-sharing messenger. He opened a lot of thing like I had a bumble account and king doesn't even care about it because I didn’t use it anymore. After confronting the guy, we hang up our call so we can do thing that we need to do like doing requirements and online class.

A week after, I visited my yugo. Upon visiting, I saw jess “a gay” streaming with king. King saw me and said hi to me but jess is simpig with him without knowing that king and I had something together. Jess continue flirting while king is resisting from him. I had a lot of trust for him so I don’t get jealous about them. King invites me on their stream and pushing jess to king as making fun and enjoy with them at the same time until king has to leave the stream for the reason that he needs to attend his online class at that day.

Since king left the stream, jess and I continue to have fun. We did a lot of chika about something. He told me that he likes king but king said he had someone for a month or two months I think.

“is it true jess? You like him?” I asked.

“uhmm, yess hkahkaha” jess answered with feeling shy.

“hakhkahakha” speechless me.

“ can you help me?” he asked.

“uhm, hkhaha sure?” I replied.

While streaming with jess, I messaged king since he’s live hopping that time and told him about what jess said during our conversation but he initiate first. But eventually after a minute of time jess and I ended our live.

“babe?” king’s messaged

“i’m live streaming with jess.” I answered.

“i’m live streaming babe” he said.

“yes, I saw you online and watching” I replied.

“ but what are you guys talking about?” he asked.

“well, jess told me that he has crush on you.” I replied.

“wait, what!?” he loudly asked.

“ he said that he’s serious about you.” I replied.

“he’s just making fun form me, I know his trip thoo, hkahka” he said.

“ what if it’s true? He’s serious?” I added.

“ are you jealous?” he asked.

“no, I’m not, I promise.” I said

“are you sure, I’m just asking so I know what I need to do.” he replied.

“i’m not, promise” I answered.

“ I love you then.!” he said.

“I love you too, babe!” I repplied.

An hours after our conversation, jess and I started a live and talk something about his side for king. At first, he just great me like we were close and then he started to ask about king.

“cess!, how are you?” he joyfully asked.

“here, doin’ great, hkahka” I said while laughing.

“so what’s poppin girl?” he asked.

“nothing much bb!” I answered

“well, I felt so fluttered because kind said “I love you” awhile ago!” he’s fluttered answer.

“is that so?, hajhajhja” I said

“but I don’t take it as an advantage because he said that he had this girl chatting with him for 2 months I think?” he said

“awww, is that so? I know that he had but I’m not sure thooo.” I replied.

“do you know her?” he asked.

“no, I don’t” I said.

After this convo, king started to watch our live and jess started to flirt at him again but because king is straight and not interested on him, he decided just to go with the flow and make jess feel so fluttered.

“bb, king is already here!” I said to jess.

“oh my gosh!, hello baby!” excitedly answered.

“hkahkahakha” I just laughed at them and watch them.

While we were streaming, king messaged me and told me everything like how’ he feeling about jess’ trip.

“ I think that jess is just tripping up with me!” king messaged.

“ don’t you know what jess told me awhile ago? He said that you made him fluttered by saying “I love you” to him. Hkahkaha” I said.

“yes, I told him that but in the end, I said char!”.”he’s too naughty thoo, he’s trippin’ me or making fun of me, then I’ll go with the flow.” I added.

“hkahahakhaa” I just laugh

“I don’t know if he’s serious or not but I never mind it anymore because for me, you’re my one and only babe.” he said.

“but babe, lets not tell jess about us ha.” my favor for him.

“sure, why not!” he said.

“i just want to know something about him when it comes to, making sure that he will not steal you from me.” I naughty replied at him.

“what a crazy mind is that my queen? Hahhaa, remember that you’re always be my babe. I love you” he answered.

“ I love you so much babe!” I replied.

At this point, I felt so fluttered about him but I’m still streaming so I came back from our live but this time king is not watching anymore. So as king left the stream, jess started to tell chikas about him.

“bb, I streamed with king awhile ago and I saw that girl he was saying because he did screen-sharing.”

“ where?” I asked

“on his instagram bb!” he replied.

(I got nervous but fighting since we don’t have some proof.)

“ but bb, I’m not sure because I didn’t recognized her well, and I saw a girl too on his messenger but I don’t thins that’s it too because there are so many chatheads and it’s all groupchats as well.”

“ahh, okay hkahakha.” I answered.

“bb, help me ha.” asking favor.

“yessss, promise..” I responded.

Jess and I had a lot of chika during live streaming. We had a lot of fun during that time. From all those news that I got from jess, I put in mind that king is not making stupid things as much as cheating because he knows how painful it is. I just prayed to God that I hope king is serious about me and not cheating to another girl. And I just thought that it was just a friend that he was talking with.

A night during at the same day, kira and I started live streaming again. At first, I critically think if should I tell kira or not about those news I heard from jess. I’m thinking because I know kira, kira is a judgemental person. Kira will say anything that she wanted to tell even without proof but for some reason I told her about it.

“sisz, I have something to tell you.” I said.

“what is it ?” she asked.

“sisz, jess said a while ago in our stream that king have someone in instgram like they were chatting there.” I said.

“aww, bad new siz!” he answered.

“hkahka” I just laughed.

“that’s a red flag siz. Be mindful, stop what you are guys up to!”. she said.

“no, were not sure about it since we don’t have any proof about it!” I replied.

At this point in time I got pissed off from kira. She had a lot of thing that she said against king. She misunderstood king and judged him without knowing the truth as well as not having a proof. I got angry on her, she messed up king’s name with other people and the reason that I got into that feeling is because I don’t want someone will be hurt just because of me. Many guys misunderstood king since there was a viewers that time before. I defended king against them but they insist that I should stop being stupid for him in that situation but I keep pointing out to them that “why would I stop without knowing his side”, “ I know what to do, and what I need to do is t seek for the truth and let him explain for his side.”, and “In the end, I don’t want to regret that I didn’t let him explain his side.”

After the argument, king join us streaming without knowing that he was our topic. Even king was in our stream, kira continue to say anything about certain problems connected in my situation. King stay still and and keeping on quiet. Because of the fact that our live title is “RED FLAG”, I think king got the point of it and he left the stream and I panicked about it so I messaged him as soon as possible.

“babe?” I asked.

“yes babe?” he asked.

“why’d you left?” I asked.

(messenger’s ringing, he called)

“babe, why’d you left?” I asked?

“ I just left because I can’t understand what are you guys up to.”

“ but babe, is it true that you had someone on IG?” I asked?

“what?, who said those things to you?, is that the reason why “red lfag” is the title of your live?” he asked like he’s stressed out.

“i must say yes?, I don’t believe jess about it thooo.” I said.

“if that so?, let me show you the dm section for clarification.”

(king showed me his dm section and messenger through screen sharing)

“see?, I don’t have another girl. The girl in my instagram is my yugo friend, the reason why I’m chatting with her is that I’m asking her if what time they are going to live.” he said.

“well, don’t be too stressed out about that. I trust you babe. So have a good vibes..” I said to him.

“i’ll hang up this call, go to your live and vibe with them” he said like he’s hurt.

“don’t mind it anymore babe, just put in your mind that I trust you.” I said before he hanged up.

“okay” he said.

After the call, king messaged me saying “I love you” and I answered back to him “I love you too”. I cheered him up by telling him that I have trust on him that why I keep fighting for him.

“how could you trust me? Why are you keep saying that you had trust on me, thooo were just talking on yugo and online?” he asked.

“why?, you don’t want me to have trust on you?” I asked him back.

“it’s up to you” he replied.

“well, I’ll trust you anyways that I want.” I said.

King said,“we still cant be on an intimate love.”, “were not meeting in person, we two are just hoping, and this is just a “HOPE”. it will be a long time for us to reach or pursue this kind of intimate love.”

“it will never be intimate if you would not give it a try, right?” I answered.

“i just don’t want you to be hurt” he said.

“why? Do you have plan to left me and find some other girls near to you? You don’t trust me or not?” I asked.

“ughhh! Fuck, this is so hard to explain.” “ how could this type of our situation work?” he’s frustrating asked for me.

“it will never work if we will not try it king.” I said.

“so you’ll take risk, even though its an online relationship?” he asked

“i’m ready to take risk tho, but I don’t know if you’re ready too.” I said.

“ I want it too, but I’m too coward for this because I don’t want to cause you pain” he replied.

“it will work if the both of us will fight together” I said.

“ just let the time work, lets wait for the right time for us, okay?, I’m just here.” he said.

“ I LOVE YOU” he added

I replied, “ I LOVE YOU TOO”.

After this conversation, I almost cry because I overthink and I overthink about what will happen the next. I had a lot of what ifs again like, “what if one day he will not chat me anymore?”, “what if he left me hangging?”, “what if he’s restraining himself for us to have an intimate love?”, “what if someday he will tell me for us to stop?”. That night I felt so unwell, I felt so empty and that time, I loose appetite to stream in yugo but after thirty minutes, That point in time, I must say that, that was the worst night that I had in my life. My what ifs that I was scared off suddenly happened on its wrong timing. My world crumbled and the only thing that I can do is to cry secretly. Not as being an exaggerated person but I asked God why did this thing happened to me?. king was the only one who made me feel that I deserve to be respected, I deserve to be love, and I’m worth it just I am. I thought he’s the one, the one that will never leave me behind.

(king messaged me)

“babe?” he asked

“yes?” I respond.

“why did you fell for me?, we don’t have label but we’re calling each other “babe” and saying “I love you” back to each others?” he asked.”I’m just clearing things up tho,”

“I fell for you because you’re different from all those guys that I met before.” I answered.

“ like how?” his ask.

“i like you just the way you are. Because of you, I felt so excited to wake up in the morning, and no words can explain how different you are” I answered.

“ cess, we don’t have label right?” he asked

(at this point, I got very nervous, he called me cess already, there so many things came up in my mind and I don’t even know what to do.)

“yes” I said.

“can we stop this for a while?” he asked.

“but why?” I asked him back.

“ I’m having a hard time because of this, I’m studying and I’m worried if someday I cant be able to make you happy, I cant be able to update you, I cant be able to talk with you and I cant be able to make you smile” he said.

“what if I’m not willing to stop of what we have for so long?” I asked. “ I understood your point, were both student here and all we can do is to go with the flow and sorry if kira misunderstood you before.” I added.

After that, king called me and explain his side, he told me to stop the things that we are up to and be friends this time. He told me that he will never change, the king that I know before will be the king until the end. He’s too sorry for me, he told me that if there is something wrong about us is that could be him. I don’t need to blame myself about us because it’s all in him. He love me but the distance woke us up to reality that it will be hard for us to enter in a relationship that we were up to. In that point, I don’t know what to do but to cry and accept his decisions.

“cess,please don’t cry anymore” his message.

“i’m okay, thank you” I replied. “ but agai, sorry for messing up your name. I ‘am also wrong to let my feelings brought me up on what we are before.” I added.

“it’s okay, we cant really control our emotions and again, I’m sorry” he replied.

“yes, masakit pero ayos lang (it hurts but it’s fine)” I said.

“i’ am really sorry, it’s all my fault” he replied.

“ thank you for everything, for making me feel that I’m worth it to love and to have.” I said.

“ you’re worth it, but you’re not meant for me” he said.

“thank you king.” I replied

And king answered, “thank you queen”.

After our conversation, I visited my yugo and I saw jess streaming. I watched and I was invited to his live. Even though I’m still crying that time, I accepted his invitation and act like I had flu but behind that, I was still crying for what happened for awhile. Since jess and I used to talk about king, he asked me again and I answered it all.

“bb, do you know the girls now? The girl that king talks about?” his ask.

“uhhmm, why do you keep aking me about her?” I asked him.

“well, I’m just curious” he said.

“honestly, I was the girl who you wanted to know!” I answered.

“omg, is it true? I’m sorry” he said. “how are you guys tho?” he added.

“actually, we just ended up what we are before I stream with you. And the reason that I have runny nose it is because I’m still crying right now.” I replied

“what was the reason?” he asked.

“honestly because of what you’ve said before, I told kira that king has someone on his IG and she started to make assumptions against king, tho I’m not believing on that thing since I don’t have proof about it. And I think the reason why he did that decision is because he felt so down about what din kira said before” I said.

“omg, I felt so bad for that. I think its all my fault. In our place, they always call me a relationship wrecker because I’m always messing up relationships. Today, I have I messed up three relationship. Sorry, its all my fault.” he said.

“don’t be sorry, its not your faulth bb.” I said.

“ I know how king loves you, he’s always sharing something good about you. He’s always flexing you cess.” he said

“i felt that love from him jess, but I think he downgrade himself and brought himself into that decision” I replied

“ it’s okay not to be okay bb, everythinh will be alright.” he’s cheering me up.

“i met a lot of guys before but he’s the only one who made me feel like this, I will wait for him. I’ll wait for one week and will not entertain some other guys and if king didn’t message me within a week, I’ll let him go.

Jess replied, “I’ll support you in any ways, I’m just here for you.”

On the next day, I felt so empty, I don’t have appetite to attend online classes, I just wanted to sleep all day and that feeling was what I felt for a couple of days. The people that I am with in our home keep asking me “what happened to me”, I am acting different for a couple of days, and I became quiet and I just want to be alone. Because of the fact that I am broken, I brought up myself into this situation. Since I don’t know what to do, I keep on crying all day and open up from some of my friends on yugo. I did not entertain kira for three days but as a friend I forgave her.

As time passes by, I’m still broken. I always posted a lot of “hugot” message for him, I shared posts related to my situation and how I felt since he left me, I always post memes for a purpose and all of those are for him, but as I’ve said, time passes by and the most awaited time for a couple of days just happen on its perfect timing.

One day, on the afternoon, I was just scrolling at my social medias and unexpectedly king sent me a picture saying that “ thank you sun for the warmth, thank you clouds for the shade, and You, thank you for existing.” my heart aches because it beats so fast, I felt so fluttered about that and I rashly forward it back to him.

After this event, everything has returned. We begin right from the start but at this point in time, we put God in the center of our relationship until he grant us the grace and time for us to meet after waiting for so long and suffer long distance relationship. Now, we are the characters of our on story, no supreme beings, no power, no fairy, and sailing on a huge sea while putting in our mind that our relationship is not like a book or a movie anymore that runs fast as flash and began and started to last.

#lovehasnodistance #havingyounearme queencessquinn kingglean

0 notes