#bernard dowd is babbler

[litanyrobin]

I wanna put a smile on your face

Summary:

Bernard Dowd has waited all his life for the moment when he can reach his beloved J.J. and join him in his kingdom of madness. Luckily, he doesn't need to wait anymore.

Or, Bernard's rise as Harley Quinn's successor alongside the current Joker.

I wanna put a smile on your face (Tim Drake x Bernard Dowd) by anyrobin in AO3

Raucous laughter erupted uncontrollably from Bernard's chest, shaking his entire body. The more he laughed, the more hysterical he became for not being able to stop. However, his eyes -wide as saucers and bloodshot- reflected pure satisfaction. Finally, after long hours and hours of waiting connected to various devices that gave him electric shocks and made his lips widen sideways, he had managed to capture on his face a grimace as magnificent as the one his beloved wore on his. The wait was over and a smile was forced upon him, parting his face with misunderstood madness and highlighting the white of his teeth with the reddish, slimy edges he had just outlined on top of the white cream with which he smeared his face. He tried to hum Mary had a little lamb as he drew a black heart over each cheek as a symbol of the love that guided him, but the melody broke into laughter at every turn. Finally, he highlighted his eyes with shades of red and black, matching his clothes, in honor of the old days when he had fallen in love with his beloved pumpkin.

"Babbler," they called in a sing-songy voice from outside the dressing room, like the wolf asking the children if they were ready to come out and play, "are you ready for the show?" 

"Yes, pumpkin, I'm coming! haha!"

Bernard rubbed his lips together and blew a kiss to the mirror before the maniacal grin took the place above his chin again. Then, he played with his fluffy hair and picked up his long two-sided mallet before heading over to where the second Joker was calling him, knowing better than to make him impatient.

He opened the door and Joker Jr, the former Robin he had fallen in love with in his civilian days, was waiting for him with one hand behind his back and another offering to help him down the steps of the RV they had stolen for the occasion. In front of them, several people bound between them stared at them in horror, their faces stained in tears and visible limbs quivering like jelly. 

"You look fantastic, Bernie," Tim murmured as he helped him down. Bernard gloated internally, for his boyfriend only called him that when he was in a good mood.  It would make him happier once he took care of the little mission his partner had brought him. 

"Thanks, pumpkin," he sighed. "Now let's see, who will play with this babbler today?"

ੈ✩‧₊˚

J.J.'s smile, as never before, wavered.

As much as Bernard loved that permanent smile on his face, he had to admit he was a little proud to be the only one who had the ability to make it falter. 

It was all a great coincidence. He, an admirer of the great criminal Harley Quinn's once great passion for the last Joker; follower of all the conspiracy theories of Gotham City's underworld and the heroes who dealt with them; in love with the third Robin and the one who had once been under the mask since, like, forever... He, of all people, had been kidnapped by the current Joker, or Junior... By Tim Drake.

He wasn't surprised he'd fed up with Gotham's heir to crime, after all, he wasn't able to quiet his excitement at finally having an encounter with, he assumed, the crush of his youth. And he assumed because his theory that Tim Drake, former Robin (it had concluded many, many years ago), was the Joker Jr. was due to a bunch of internet rumors and street speculation he'd tied up on his own until he'd convinced himself of it.

"This. Is. Exciting," he squeaked under his breath. It didn't go unnoticed by J.J., however, whose eye twitched for the third time, already beginning to realize that he wouldn't get a ransom for Bernard. He probably considered him unbearable, he didn't blame him. But it was just that he felt like he was in one of his most twisted dreams. "Will you explain to me what your plan is? Are you going to strap me on dangerous chemicals? Joker gas? Oh, you're going to broadcast on television?" He wasn't ready to go on TV, but he would be happy to continue spending time with the love of his life. He wanted to see how much he had changed.

An incredulous laugh went through Junior.

"Wow wow, you're quite a babbler, don't you ever shut up? What are you babbling about?" he laughed harder, regaining his mad composure. "You're quite the babbler. I want to squash you like a bubble."

Bernard swallowed a comment regarding Junior's joke. That certainly wasn't his forte. Instead, he opted for another relationship that lambasted him with force.

"Babbler, like the bird... We'd be two birds, a pair of little turtledoves!" offered Bernard, too focused on his romantic projection to catch Tim's wince at the bird comparison.

"Ha... Haha... Hahaha... Hahahaha... Hahahahaha!" he began to laugh hysterically. Bernard was undeterred. "Oh, we'd better shut you up soon, hadn't we, babbler? Let's make that smile disappear for a while..."

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Joker Junior had a thing for scaring the successors of Batman and company. Bernard could understand the reason and therefore empathize with the cause quickly, knowing what he had to do when fighting the old and new members of his pumpkin's former family.

"Yuujujuu, little bats, over here! Come play with Babbler," Bernard called, shaking his free hand and laughing. He began twirling his mallet and running up to the man in the black suit and blue bird on his chest. He shook the weapon playfully until he hit him excitedly on the back and then acted as if it had been an accident. "Whoops. Hahahahaha."

His mission was to take care of the hostages, keep the sidekicks away while Joker Jr. took care of the big leaguers, the big bat, all in black and red bat on his chest, and his current robin, too much like Tim's style in his Robin days. Tacky, if you asked Bernard. Anyone underneath the mask was a disgusting pretender. No one would ever measure up to his beloved, no matter which of his legacies it was. He was the best robin, the best joker and the best human being that had ever lived. No one would ever be able to catch up to him and Bernard would be by his side every step of the way, even if it led nowhere. If Timothy wanted to amuse himself in an eternal sick chase between him and his old family, Bernard would accompany him. 

Till death do them part and after that.

"Baaabler?" shouted Joker, up on top of some rafters and threatening to cut the ropes of a guy tied up on top of an acid pit. Classic. "Are you here, honey?"

"I'm coming, pumpkin!" he replied, dodging a kick from his opponent and punching him in the face. 

However, as soon as he wanted to dodge another punch, he was pierced by a burst of pain in his bare arm after feeling a loud gun noise. 

Shit, none of them had noticed that a red hooded man had joined in the fun and now Bernard had a bullet stuck in his arm.

"Ha ha, that's what was missing!" he laughed gritting his teeth. He switched the mallet in his hand and stumblingly tried to hit the hooded man while taking hits from the bluebird. "Damn bats, always in cologne. They need to get independent," he gasped.

"Look who's talking, always glued to that crazy man's hip," the hooded one spat, missing a shot as Bernard swung hard to avoid him. "You can't talk..." he took a blow from Babbler's mallet on the knee, "...about independence. Uh. You're gonna pay for that one."

And he did, as another bullet landed in his thigh.

"Bernie!" he heard the Joker yell as he tackled the big bat, leaving a gap for it to hit him.

No names on the field, Bernard wanted to say, but black dots began to cloud his vision.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

"I'm so, so glad you let me help you, Tim," Bernard said. The kidnapping had been a failure and Tim had agreed to give him a chance at his side. Because he remembered, Bernard repeated to himself excitedly. 

Tim stiffened, however, and whipped his cane against the floor before knocking over everything on a table in the corner of the giggle house they were hiding in. 

"No names on...," he mumbled. Then he cleared his throat and grinned like a maniac again. "Who's that? I think you're talking about the dead ones, Babbler. I don't like that. And you don't want something I don't like," he threatened. 

But Bernard actually agreed. He wanted to do nothing more than pleasing his beloved. And it made him shudder that Joker Jr. had a nickname for him so soon, regardless of whatever connotation that one had. 

"Sorry... ehm, Junior."

Junior started laughing uproariously and kicked a chair next to where Bernard was sitting like a dutiful auditor.

"Junior? Ha! Why would it be Junior when there's no one to confuse me with anymore."

For a second, some courage struck Bernard and he decided that maybe making his true intentions clear next to the Joker would help him. Then he said:

"And what about...honey...", he stood up and slowly approached Tim. As the latter did nothing to push him away or move away, nor did he move a muscle, he had the audacity to curl his arms behind the other boy's neck. "O puddin', my honey, my beloved...sweetie, pumpkin." He brought his face close to the other until their noses were about to touch, his breathing erratic and his heart pounding.  Joker Junior began to laugh, very loudly, without pushing him away. Then he grabbed him around the waist and smiled creepily at him, but with his eyes narrowed in something Bernard wanted to believe might amount to affection.

"Well, why not, I guess everyone needs a sidekick... or something."

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Joker Jr. had a large bruise expanding on the side of his right eye and blood trickling down his lower lip. His wrist was beginning to swell where he had probably gotten a sprain after jumping from the rafters to grab Bernard and flee the crime scene until he managed to completely miss the bat colony. 

"I'm...," Bernard coughed and spit out some blood he accumulated at some point during the fight, "I'm fine, pumpkin. You don't have to worry about me. You can finish the job, haha." 

The Joker ran his sore hand in exasperation through his hair, and shook his head, jaded. 

"Shut up. Just, shut up, Bernard. I know the best thing you do is talk... a lot," he laughed, more raucously than he intended and couldn't stop for a few long seconds. "Tch, just, shush. Let me bandage this up. You'll be fine, honey."

He'd actually lost a lot of blood while they'd escaped, it wasn't fine, but he liked to believe in Tim.

"Okay... It's okay. I'm fine. We're fine, pumpkin," he murmured with a chuckle. From where he lay and Junior fiddled with bandages on his arm, Bernard raised his free hand and swatted Tim's bruised cheek. "It's going to be okay, so put a smile on that face. Take that grimace off, haha." 

With his bloody finger, Bernard forced Tim to raise one side of his mouth and elicited a blood-painted scary half-smile. He was so cute.

"Haha."

Tim smiled fully just as Bern's hand fell against his will and his vision went completely dark.

"I'll, ah... See you later, pumpkin. Smile."

ੈ✩‧₊˚

When the electric shock therapy was over, Joker Junior dressed in his best purple suit and made sure his greenish-black hair was as decent as it could be. He fixed his unique clown makeup and with thumbs smudged in red paint stretched a big grin toward his ears, putting more pressure than necessary on his cheeks. 

Bernard, who couldn't stop laughing to the point of tears, but was pleased with it, finished painting hearts on his cheeks and walked to the outstretched hand waiting for him to walk to the bound hostage waiting for them to read their vows.

It was a modest ceremony, just the two of them and the priest on top of abandoned containers near the harbor in Marina. They walked hand in hand to the bound priest and let him read the usual Catholic wedding paragraphs, asking him to add and emphasize the wrongness of gay marriage just to annoy him more. Junior pointed his gun at him, the one that had killed his predecessor, and looked at him with malice as the ceremony went on, only changing his expression when his eyes met Bernard's excited ones. 

Finally, Bernard said after Tim:

"I take you from this day forward until death do us apart."

And Tim replied:

"And after that, honey."

"And after that," Bernard repeated with a chuckle, putting a smile on his Joker's face.

♡