#benji drinking problem

[itscooltoskate]

la voz ausente [cap. 2]

[wttcsms]

if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO

ᝰ.ᐟ after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men — especially athletes. your publicist doesn’t get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isn’t just a pro soccer player, but also your ex’s rival. things could get messy. ( fem!reader )

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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture author’s notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL

From: fumiko.gima@apextalentgroup.com To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: wfitch@everlanefitch.com, mai.sasaki@apextalentgroup.com, hideakitakeda@titansecuritysolutions.com, benji1968@gmail.com + 3 others Subject: 6/19 — [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: 📎 [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]

All — 

Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]’s itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule. 

Fumiko Gima

Get Outlook for IOS 

Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when you’re all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. You’ll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you weren’t going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off. 

At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time you’re done with your morning skincare, it’s 5:06 AM. You honestly can’t remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If there’s downtime between shoots, you’ll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieber’s team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal “hey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of my…” text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a “yessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg 😍” — neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you don’t “LOVE LOVE LOVE” the new shade as much as you “LOVE LOVE LOVE” to deposit a fat check.) 

You’re sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you. 

“Good morning, Ms. [Surname],” Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when he’s lecturing you. Thank God he doesn’t own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if he’s technically on your parents’ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit. 

The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If you’re home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, it’s kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay “fit ‘n flawless even after going out every night.” Most people didn’t believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, and— Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms. 

By the time you finish your private session, you’re walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day — ELLE Japan.

You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.

The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, there’s been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLE’s people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, there’s nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty. 

Downtime is the last thing you want. You’re used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. You’ll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you won’t have a single second to be alone with your thoughts. 

At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator who’s amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why you’re going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.

juli ᡣ𐭩: u know i love u 

It’s two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation — just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words. 

juli ᡣ𐭩: [photo attachment] 

Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one another’s, and the way the image is blurry because she couldn’t get her phone to focus, it feels like Juliette’s “something chill and lowkey” morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You should’ve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure — she’s been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasn’t even touched a croissant for the past week she’s been there.

juli ᡣ𐭩: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᡣ𐭩: [video attachment] juli ᡣ𐭩: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᡣ𐭩: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reason 

You wait for the video to load. It’s almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. It’s two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person she’s practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. He’s leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud “putain!”), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.

Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way you’re certain she’s smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: you’re constantly fixated on him.

Right now, it’s two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you weren’t in this fucked up headspace you’re in right now, you’d be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested. 

So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?

At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media. 

“This is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but you’re also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot you’ve done so far in your career, and that’s saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.” 

The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and they’re basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.

You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know, 

“I honestly think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.” 

You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. “Not trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.” 

You’re operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. It’s light and refreshing — they want you to eat well, but they’re not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, you’ll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why you’re so bloated. You don’t even taste what you’re consuming. 

At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You should’ve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything. 

Late in the afternoon, you get another text. 

kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Team’s planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now

A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and you’ll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state you’re in, it’s a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense. 

You give Kenyu’s next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that it’s residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out? 

At least even at your worst, people still think you’re on top of the world. 

Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, it’s only eight at night. You’re used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup that’s been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity. 

You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You don’t have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how you’re living. 

At 9:13 PM, you’re sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days. 

You don’t get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiya’s teammates, surely it won’t be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home? 

Because — no offense to Yuki, you’re happy he’s getting another birthday celebration — the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point — if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately you’ve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too. 

you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :) 

When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.

Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.

Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:

Fumiko Gima: Don’t stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM. 

This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her. 

You suppose you can’t fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. She’s your manager, not your best friend. 

In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, there’s a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyone’s leaning towards each other, as if they’re so captivated with the other’s words. 

You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball league’s board members. Upstairs, someone’s probably snorting a line off Yukimiya’s teammate’s bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that you’ve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake — or the belated birthday boy himself — you’re pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.

When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be. 

One’s a model; you’ve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harper’s Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.

“Hey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?” You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. She’s not your friend; you don’t even know her name. You know she knows your name — everyone here does. And it’s because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes you’re speaking to her. 

A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, she’ll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and she’s planning on being the one captured right next to you. 

“[Name]!” She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. “How have you been?”

All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how you’ve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table. 

“After how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.” You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, “Or maybe like five.” They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think you’re joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people you’ve been honest with all day. 

At 12:15 AM, they aren’t strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You don’t know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but you’re laughing as you take another shot. The Harper’s Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, she’s tagging you in an Instagram story you don’t bother to view. You’re not even following her. 

“Okay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?” One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You can’t help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots she’s taken, there’s no transfer. Impressive. “I say Theo Sachs.” 

“Who the fuck is Theo Sachs?” Harper’s Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, you’re giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. There’s just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy. 

“Um, the host of this party?” Glittery Lipgloss says. “Oh my God, girl, he’s like, one of the players for Bastard.” 

“The fuck is Bastard?” Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress. 

“The soccer team!” Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but you’re sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could. 

“I didn’t know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.” Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, “I would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.” 

Harper’s Bazaar laughs. “What about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?” 

Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. “Oh my God, she has a boyfriend.” She looks at you for confirmation. You don’t give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation. 

“So what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?” 

Nobody. Out of every party you’ve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. It’s not even because nobody offered — they have — but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you don’t like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him. 

Once again, you’re saved from answering when someone behind you goes, “[Name]?” 

You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You can’t hold back your frown when you see him. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete you’ve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You don’t want to tell him that it’s kind of funny how normal he looks. 

Not in a bad way. You’re surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models can’t achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together. 

But that’s not the reality you’re living in. Right now, you’re getting drunk with girls you don’t know, and every night, you’re making headlines. He’s a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social media’s favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.

If that’s the case, he’s doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers. 

“Hi,” you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like you’re nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like you’re doing something wrong.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” 

“Well, it’s Kenny’s birthday party. Of course, I’d be here.” You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend. 

Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. “Funny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.” 

You sober up a bit when you hear that. “Yeah, I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didn’t bother exploring the rest of the mansion. 

“He was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesn’t really like these types of parties.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“You don’t seem like the type to like these parties either.” If he was anyone else, you’d be saying this to flirt. You’re honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. You’re too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiya’s behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (you’re not normally one for small talk). 

“Caught me.” Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiya’s birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. “I was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by and…” For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. “Just wanted to see if it really was you.”

“Well, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.” Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, you’re drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.

What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since you’re not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; he’s the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you. 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks you. It’s hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned. 

“Never better.” 

“Do you have a ride home?” 

What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say. 

“I’ll call an Uber.” You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking. 

“But I thought you didn’t do Ubers.” When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, it’s a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably don’t even like you sober. You didn’t come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge. 

(You’re not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isn’t necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadn’t thought about him, and that’s good enough.) 

When you have no response to that (wit doesn’t come easy when you’re in the condition you’re in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly. 

“Let me take you home.” 

You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. “Just because you don’t like this party doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m staying right here.” 

He finally frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish up here, then I’ll take you home.”

“I’m with my friends right now. Leave me alone.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.” Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early. 

“These are my best friends.” You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.

“Really?” He asks. “What’re their names again?”

No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.

“I’m taking you home, [Name].” 

You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harper’s Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your “best friends” not your friends anymore. Whatever. 

“Fine.” You grumble, following Isagi to his car. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car. 

No. 

Sometimes, it’s fun in the moment, but that’s only when you’re drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re having a good time. You’re more like Yukimiya (and — gross — Isagi) than they know; the whole “It Girl dominates the party scene” vibe you’ve got going on… It’s just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. It’s too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, you’re waking up…

To Isagi groping you?

You’re groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. You’re shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.

He’s holding you in some awkward side hug, and he’s patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesn’t know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up. 

“Gross! You can’t even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!” 

“Ah!” He jerks back, shocked that you’re awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox — they were wrong). “I-I wasn’t feeling you up!” 

“Then why were your hands all over me?” 

“I was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but it’s locked.”

Oh. Likely story. You’re not letting him off the hook just yet. 

“Obviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesn’t lock their house?” You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. “Key’s in the bushes.”

Since you’re making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint. 

He blinks. “What?” 

“What?” You repeat back, innocently. 

“You didn’t even need the key to unlock the door!”

“Yes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isn’t it?” And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back. 

“You’re really something, you know that?” Isagi says from the kitchen sink. You’re sitting on a stool by the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing bad.” He clarifies. “It’s just… Rin’s a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.” He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. “Ex-girlfriend, I guess.”

“How do you know that?” You’ve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or — even worse — Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so it’s not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup. 

“Well, I didn’t really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.” He admits. “I just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, that’s all.” 

Great. So, Isagi, who’s basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you haven’t been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks. 

You don’t say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but you’re sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you can’t keep fooling everyone around for long. There’s no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. It’s getting tiring, anyway. 

It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone who’s not coming back. 

Because that’s why you’re trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because… You’re hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldn’t go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces. 

And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.

You groan as you move around, only to find that you’re moving on top of your bed. You’re tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.

“You’re leaving, too?” 

Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps. 

He hushes you gently. “You should go to sleep. You’ve had a long night.” 

“Fine. Don’t stay. I don’t care.” You burrow yourself further into your blankets. 

“Do you really want me to stay?” 

At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You don’t know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, it’s directed towards him.

[unconventional-lawnchair]

second part of too late?😭😭😭😭 this fic broke me

"Never...

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Summary: True colors are shown from all ends, Remus can't take it

Wc: 4063

Cw: use of {Y/N}, Cussing, fighting, depictions of abusive relationships, Benjy slander(I'm sorry), Drinking and getting drunk, James being a problem

Part one

A few months had passed since that cold night at the Potters’ engagement party, and the world had shifted in ways Remus had never anticipated. He had thrown himself into his work with the Order, using every ounce of energy he had to distract himself from the pain of losing you. But despite his efforts, the ache in his heart remained, a constant reminder of what might have been.

You and Benjy had taken the next steps in your relationship, and while Remus tried to be happy for you, it felt as though he was watching a beautiful sunset. Knowing the night was just around the corner.

Waiting for the moon to taunt him.

If he thought the last three years were torture without you, the last few months being near you was worse.

The love you had for him now belonged to someone else, someone older, someone better, and he was left with the memory of what could have been. Day in and day out, he was reminded of it every time he passed by your proposal photos at the Potters’.

The nights were the hardest. He would lie awake, staring at the ceiling, wishing he could find the courage to reach out to you, to tell you everything he had held back, selfishly hoping it was a front. That you still loved him far more then you'd ever love Benjy. But the fear of intruding on your happiness kept him silent, and he buried himself deeper in his work.

The tension in the air had thickened as news of Voldemort's newest victories began to swirl around them. The Order was on high alert, and every mission felt heavier with the weight of uncertainty.

Benjy’s response to the dangers was to move your wedding day up. He said he wanted to die a happy and married man. You didn't seem to enjoy his joke, but you agreed the sooner the better.

Remus felt a pang of bitterness at the thought, his heart clenching in response to the news. He tried to shake it off, to remind himself that you deserved happiness, that you were moving forward with your life. But the reality of it stung, like salt in a fresh wound. He couldn’t help but feel like he was losing you all over again, and this time, it felt irrevocable.

The wedding was set for a few weeks from now, and the thought of it loomed over him like a dark cloud. Every time he caught sight of you at the Order meetings, laughing with Benjy or sharing a tender moment, it felt like a dagger twisting deeper into his chest. He had to remind himself that it was his fault, that he had let fear dictate his actions, pushing you away when he wanted you more then anything.

With the wedding so close, the rehearsal dinner was moved as well. You had mentioned the idea of just skipping it, but Benjy was determined to celebrate.

It was tonight. And after some coaxing from Lily he made it to the Potter manor.

“So, Benjy, truth or dare?” Lily’s voice filled the room, leaning back against James who stole her drink for himself. Already sloppy off his ass.

The party was rather fun, Remus had to admit. You and him finally managed an air of normalcy. Benjy and you both decided to forgo to typical traditions, turning it into a get together to remind people of the more simple joys in life.

That meant silly drinking games and childish fun.

The atmosphere was lively, filled with laughter and the clinking of glasses, and for a moment, Remus allowed himself to be swept up in it. He watched as you and Benjy engaged with friends, your laughter brightening the room. You looked radiant, your happiness palpable, and it made his heart ache in ways he couldn’t fully express.

“Come on, Benjy! Don’t be a coward. Truth or dare?” Lily’s playful challenge snapped Remus out of his thoughts.

Benjy smirked, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the attention. “Dare.” He said confidently, and Remus felt a spark of unease.

“I dare you to kiss {Y/N}.” Lily declared, her eyebrows wiggling playfully.

The room erupted in cheers and laughter, and Remus felt his heart drop. Sirius, however, booed. “Come on, those two are never NOT kissing! Give em a real one, red!”

Lily laughed and flipped him off with both fingers as Benjy turned to you, wiggling his eyebrows. “My lady?”

You laughed and held out your hand when he asked for it. He took it and kissed up your arm to your shoulder, making you giggle and smile so hard your cheeks hurt. “Benjy!” You scolded when he bit the strap of your tube top. The same dress you wore to the winter formal.

He gave a playful chuckle and kissed your cheek, making you shove his face away with playful disgust.

The energy in the room was electric, a mix of laughter and playful teasing that filled the air with warmth. Remus tried to force a smile, but the sight of you and Benjy together made it feel like a mask, hiding all the turmoil roiling inside him. The way you laughed, the way you looked at him, it was everything Remus had dreamed of sharing with you.

As Benjy continued his antics, leaning in closer to you, Remus felt a deep, gnawing ache in his chest. He tried to focus on the people around him, but his gaze kept drifting back to you. You were everything he remembered and more, the light in your eyes shining brighter than any candle in the room. But with each passing second, it became clearer to him that you were moving on, and he was left behind.

“Alright, alright, I’ll give you a proper kiss,” Benjy announced, clearly enjoying the game. With a flourish, he pulled you in close, his hands resting on your waist. Remus gripped the edge of the table, feeling the tension knot in his stomach.

As Benjy leaned in, you met him halfway, and their lips connected in a sweet kiss that seemed to last forever. The cheers and whoops from the others faded into a dull roar, and Remus felt as if he were drowning in a sea of emotions. The warmth of the room turned cold, and he could hardly breathe.

“See? That’s how it’s done.” He cheeked and kissed your nose, making you smile up at him. Remus didn't even had time to notice how it didn't reach your eyes.

“Alright tough guy, your turn!” James huffed from the love seat cross from them. Remus noticed his tone, it wasn't entirely pleasant and James was clearly struggling to hide it, especially in his drunken state.

Benjy chuckled softly, but his eyes darkened a bit despite his smile. “Alright, James! Truth or dare?”

James gave a simple smile before he shrugged. “Truth.”

“Okay, truth.” He hummed and it was hard not to notice the tension between the two. “Why don't you like me, man?”

Not like him? This was news to Remus. Too observed in self hatred he didn't even notice James fake laughter and false smiles until now.

“Benjy.” You warned softly, pouting at him a bit. Like this was something you had asked him not to bring up. Benjy put his hand on your thigh and gave it a simple squeeze, eyes still on James. “It's alright, babe.” He whispered and you furrowed your brow further.

The tension in the air thickened with every passing moment. He could see the flicker of irritation in James’s eyes, a stark contrast to the carefree atmosphere that had filled the room just moments before. The party was still lively around them, but the bubble you guys had created was terribly tense.

“Why don’t I like you?” James repeated, his voice steady despite the slight slur from the alcohol. “It’s not that I don’t like you, Benjy. It’s just… I don’t know. I guess I just don’t trust you with her.”

Lily smacked his leg and gave a gasp. “James Potter!”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, glancing between the two men, clearly caught off guard by the sudden confrontation. “Guys, can we not do this now?” You interjected, your voice soft but firm.

“Yeah, can we just keep this fun?” Remus chimed in, trying to defuse the situation. He forced a smile, hoping to lighten the mood, but the weight of the moment hung heavily in the air.

Benjy's eyes narrowed slightly, the playful demeanor slipping for a moment. “What’s that supposed to mean, Remus?” He asked, his tone edged with defensiveness.

“Nothing! Just… it’s a party, right? We’re supposed to be celebrating, not this,” Remus replied, his heart pounding as he tried to navigate the tension. He could feel the way everyone was suddenly looking at him, as if he were the referee in an unspoken showdown.

“Exactly.” Your voice rose just enough to cut through the thick air. Benjy scoffed and waved you off. Muttering something about you agreeing with Remus. Has Benjy always been so dismissive of you?

You have a shaky sigh and Sirius spoke up, a hesitant smile on his face. “Besides, James is just being a brother, yeah? Protective and shit.”

You gave him an appreciative look. Sirius leaned back and gave you a smile before flashing it to Benjy. James giving a thoughtful drunken look. “Should of seen him at Hogwarts! Didn't want anyone dating his sister. Oh, it was sad to watch.”

“It's not that I didn't want her dating anyone!” James huffed and bit his cheek.

“James, stop.” You snapped, Lily hissing a curse to tell him to just stop talking, but James huffed.

“I just figured it would be Remus.”

The tension in the room escalated, and Remus felt his heart race as he processed James's words. His stomach twisted at the implication, and he could see the discomfort ripple through you. You looked caught between annoyance and embarrassment, your eyes darting between James and Benjy, who was clearly unimpressed with the turn the conversation had taken.

“Seriously, James?” Sirius snapped, eyeing Remus warily.

“You can’t just throw that out there like it’s some kind of joke! This isn’t funny.” Lily continued to scold him and snatched his drink away.

Remus felt a strange mix of emotions surge within him. He felt the weight of James's comment pressing down on him like a heavy stone. He had always been the one who kept his feelings buried, and now the spotlight was on him in a way he had never wanted. Even James had been rooting for him…

Benjy took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. “Look, I get it. You wanted your best friend to be family, I can get that.” His voice was steady, but Remus could see the tension in his jaw. “But she's mine now.” Remus seemed caught off guard by his phrasing. His? “You can't seriously hate me because she loves me and not him, yeah? She loves me.”

“Yeah, but Remus is different.” James insisted, his expression firm. “He’s been in love with {Y/N} since day one. Through all her weird phases. You can’t compete with that, sorry, Benjy.” James continued like a child.

Remus felt heat rise to his cheeks. He could see your eyes widening, the shock evident on your face as you processed James’s blunt admission. You looked between the two men, clearly caught in an uncomfortable position that was only getting worse.

“James, this isn’t the time.” You pleaded, your voice strained. “Can we not make this about Remus?”

Benjy’s grip on your thigh tightened, but he remained calm, trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m not trying to disrespect anyone here, man. But it’s kind of unfair to just hate me for trying to make you sister happy.”

“Yeah, well, maybe it’s unfair for Remus to just stand there and let it happen,” James shot back, his tone defensive. Shooting a drunken glare at Remus who gave him a shocked look. Almost offended. James scoffed and looked back to you. “I’m just saying that if I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t be able to handle watching the love of my life marry someone else, especially when he's an absolute git.”

“James, I think it's time to shut up.” Sirius snapped at James but he didn't falter, James jaw tightening as he noticed you shuffle uncomfortably when Benjy’s grip on your thigh only tightened.

“James, please, just stop talking.” You seethed and he reached for another drink, one Remus was quick enough to snatch from him.

“And what about you, {Y/N}?” James snapped and gestured to you.

“Are you really okay with all of this? With him?” His words hung in the air, charged with an intensity that made everyone shift uncomfortably.

You looked taken aback, your expression a mixture of disbelief and frustration. “What do you mean ‘okay with him’? I love Benjy. What else do you want me to say?” Your voice was firm, but there was a slight tremor in it, betraying the emotions swirling just beneath the surface.

“Do you love him the way you loved Remus?” James pressed, clearly not backing down. “Because it feels like there’s still something still there. Even after three years I've never seen you look at anyone like you look at him!”

“James-” Lily stood and tried to coax him up, trying to excuse her husband before he ruined the night further.

“No! He's like a damn puppy, Lily. He's hurt!” James shouted over his wife and Remus stood up, placing a hand on James chest to push him back against the love seat.

“James. Shut up.” He seethed, finally tired of just sitting around and letting it all happen.

James shoved him back and stood up to challenge him back. Pointing his drunken finger to his chest. “You let her go so easy man! Three years? Three years you left her with this jag off!”

You finally stood up, coming between the two. “James, cut it out! Hes my fiance and I'd appreciate if you'd don't insult him! If you're so unhappy with it you can go!”

“I can go?” James scoffed, gesturing to Remus. “What about him?”

“What do you mean, James? He hasn't done anything!”

“That's my bloody point! He let you go! Now he's just some.. stranger! You guys don't even write anymore!” James whined like some obscene child of divorce. Gesturing between you two with a drunken stumble, trying to stifle a burp. “You two were perfect for each other.” He continued to insist. “What happened?”

You sighed and tried to focus on the fact that James was drunk, he was being stupid, and he wasn't going to see reason easily. “James… I still care about Remus, that won't change.”

Your eyes flicked to said boy but his eyes were focused on the edge of your dress skirt. Noticing the large handprint shaped bruise on your thigh from Benjy’s grip. You quickly covered it.

“But you're marrying him!” James gestured towards Benjy and Remus eventually gave in, falling back on the couch and eyeing Benjy.

“You can't pretend this is some casual fling! You're marrying him! Ring on your finger! You hated big chunky jewelry.” James shouted and you gave a scandalized laugh.

“Fling? James, I know that!”

“Then why?!” He whined like he physically couldn't understand. Like it was impossible; the idea you could want Benjy when you could have Remus. “Mom and dad loved Remus! They would of hated Benjy too! They knew you loved him! And now you're just expecting me to believe you don't anymore!?”

You felt a surge of anger rising within you, fueled by the insistence, unfiltered by your own drinks tonight. “Of course I still do- that doesn't just change, James!” You blurted out, the words escaping before you could stop them.

Silence enveloped the room. You could feel the shock radiating from everyone- the laughter, the playful atmosphere evaporating into thin air. Everyone, your family, Benjy’s family, your friends and coworkers, everyone’s eyes were on you.

Remus’s eyes widened, and for a brief moment, you thought you saw a flicker of hope and disbelief in his gaze.

“Wait- what?” Benjy’s voice was soft, almost broken as he processed your words. Then, came that familiar rage. “You're kidding.”

Everyone was silent. James was staring down at you with a furrowed brow, his lip twitching slightly.

“I didn't hear that.” Benjy scoffed and stood up, tossing his drink across the room and the expensive glass shattered against the hard floor. “I really hope I didn't hear that properly.”

You took a shutter of a breath, trying to hide your wince as you walked over to your fiance and tried to mutter an apology, trying to excuse you two to have a private conversation.

He was having none of it.

“Don’t you dare apologize now!” Benjy shouted, his voice echoing off the walls, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, you could hear a pen drop. He stepped closer, invading your personal space, his eyes blazing with anger. You stumbled back instinctively. “You’ve been playing me this entire time, haven’t you? Telling me you love me while still pining after him! How am I supposed to trust you after that?”

“Benjy, please, it’s not like that.” You lowered your voice, feeling a twinge of panic rise in your chest. You tried to take a full step back, but he reached out, grabbing your arm with a grip that felt too tight, too possessive.

“Not like that?” He repeated, his voice dripping with sarcasm. You could smell the fire whiskey on his breath. He was drunk, you tried to remind yourself, everyone was. “You just told everyone you’re still in love with him! What am I supposed to think? That you’ll marry me and then run back to him the moment things get tough? Are you cheating on me?” He laughed. “With Remus Lupin of all people?”

You could feel the heat of his anger radiating off him, and the fear began to creep in. Trying to ignore the familiar danger in this conversation. Ever since that night on the balcony he was becoming someone you knew, someone he promised he wasn't anymore. “I’m not cheating on you! I chose you, Benjy! You’re the one I want to marry!”

But he pulled you closer, his grip tightening. “Benjy, nothing has happened.” You whispered, insisting, as you tried to pull him along with you.

“Please. Not in front of everyone.” You whispered again. You could hear James curse, turning to watch as Sirius got between you and your brother. The drunken idiot looked ready to kill Benjy.

“Not in front of everyone?” Benjy laughed, his voice rising again, anger bubbling. “You think that’s going to change how I feel right now? You think I care about what anyone else thinks when my fiancée just declared her love for another man?”

His grip on your arm was painful, and you tried to pull away, but he only tightened his hold. You slowly closed your eyes. Not hearing Lily shouting at James as she dragged him out, James complaints and verbal threats about Bengy’s behavior not even reaching you, Lily fully trusting the boys to deal with it. Not noticing how Marlene and Mary began to escort people out of the house.

Much to Benjy’s drunken berating.

“Benjy, please.” You pleaded, desperation lacing your tone. “I’m not cheating on you. I love you. I am marrying you. Like we promised, yeah?”

But Benjy's expression twisted into something dark, a mixture of hurt and fury. His teeth gritting. “You think that’s enough? You think just saying you love me is going to erase what you just said?” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a low, menacing tone. “You’ve put me in a position where I can’t trust you. You think I can just ignore this? That I can pretend it doesn’t hurt? You humiliated me.”

“I'm only going to tell you to back up once.” Sirius’s voice cut through you two, sharp and commanding. He stepped forward, positioning himself between you and Benjy, his expression full of pure rage.. “How about you put your hands on a man your size, huh?”

“Sirius…” Remus warned as he walked up behind you.

Benjy’s eyes flicked to Sirius, a flash of defiance crossing his face. “Stay out of this, Black! This is between me and her.”

“No, it’s not just between you two anymore,” Sirius shot back, unwavering. “You don't get to touch my sister like that.”

You could almost smile at the comment. Sirius’s declaration; you wondered if your dad would be proud.

He'd surely be disappointed in you.

“Touch her?” Benjy’s voice dripped with disdain. “She's my wife. She’s the one who made a fool of us!”

“Benjy-” You started before you felt Remus’s hand rest on your shoulder, slowly running down to rub the tender spot Benjy had just been manhandling. When your eyes met Remus’s there was something so reassuring, so soft.

“I didn't mean for this-”

“Just stop talking.” He hissed and before Sirius could ball up his fist Benjy spoke again.

“Give me my ring. I'm done with you.” He snapped and you winced. Carefully taking the gem off and handing it to Sirius. Who then, like an asshole, tossed it across the room.

“Go fetch.” He hissed and Banji scoffed, eyes still on you.

“I knew you were a waste of my time.” He spat harshly, “The second you showed your real colors. You right bitch-”

You had never seen Remus move so quickly in your life. Your mouth have a horrified sound as you watched Remus’s fist collide with Bengy’s face.

The impact echoed in the room, a sharp crack that momentarily stunned everyone into silence; everyone who was left to watch the pathetic scene. Benjy staggered back, clutching his nose, blood beginning to trickle down his face and from in between his fingers. The room was caught between shock and disbelief, all eyes turning towards Remus.

“Don’t you dare speak to her like that.” Remus growled, the anger radiating off him dangerously. He felt everything, jealousy, rage, regret, anger. Guilt- guilt that he even let this happen. That a man as disgusting as Benjy had somehow fooled you- and Remus had let it happen.

He would let a lot of things happen for your happiness, but he would do a bloody lot more for your honor. If that meant bloodying his knuckles that was fine. He would do what James said, he'd fight for you.

You covered your mouth in stunned silence but Sirius just gave a wicked smirk. You turned to glare at Sirius and he shrugged without a lick of regret.

Remus stood firm, fists clenched at his sides, as he watched Benjy stumble back, the realization of what had just happened settling in. You could see the fury in Remus's eyes, a fierce protectiveness that sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you.

“Remus, you-”

Benjy regained his footing, wiping the blood from his nose with a look of utter disbelief mixed with rage. “You think that makes you a hero?” He spat, his voice low. “Trust me, half breed, she ain't worth saving.” Sirius stepped in this time, but Remus was the one to hold him back. A hand to his chest.

Benjy and Remus held eye contact before Remus’s eyes flickered to the door. Benjy scoffed before he began to leave, leaving the ring in the center of the shattered glass.

Everything crashed over uou as you watched him leave. Was it relief? Grief? Yearning? You wanted to run to him but you wanted to curse his name. You wanted to take the ring back but also wanted to throw it into the black lake and forget about it. You finally broke down, covering your face in shame as Sirius sighed and Remus quickly turned on his heels to pull you into a hug. Suddenly as soft as a teddy bear.

Sirius slowly sighed and ran his fingers threw his long hair. “James is going to kill him.” He mumbled before he turned to face you two. He cooed and walked over, rubbing your back as you came undone.

[wishmaster]

Mean Girl

Jessica enjoyed being a bitch, in fact she practically made it her life's work. She really turned it on for the new kids at work, she worked as a barista and her orders usually came with an attitude. Don't get me wrong she was sexy as hell, problem was she knew it and thought she was better than everyone.

That would all change one day when she was bullying the new hire:

No you turn this lever, god boys are such a waste, guys are only good for looking at and fucking. She made the remark as she continued to treat him like dirt, a witch sat nearby and watched the whole thing. The little bitch thought because she was a hot girl she could treat people anyway she wanted. the witch had other ideas and slipped something in the coffee Jessica was drinking.

When the mean girl awoke the next morning she was in for the shock of her life.

Gone was here beautiful petite figure, replaced by a lanky boy's body. What the hell she tried to scream but nothing came out. Her boyfriend rushed in, confused as why a guy was standing there with his girlfriends blouse on, the same one he made love to her in last night.

Benji, help me. She panicked, As he moved closer, this was what that strange girl told him would happen. As he did he could see she still had feelings for him as his dick was straining her new pants.

They kissed as her new male personality fought to the forefront. Dammit Benji, he felt so good, so right. The two made mad passionate love to one another which sealed the curse and turned Jessica into Jessie for good. But he didn't care, he still had his man Benji, who like the Jessie version better than the mean girl.

Becoming a guy didn't mean she had to give up dressing to impress.

After all she was a boy now and all she was good for looking good and fucking.

Words he lived by Now. The Mean Girl was now the Slut Boy and she spent all of his time trying to fuck as many guys as he could, with this body it was easy, he thought to himself.

[narcosmx]

Hey, I'm so happy you're back I missed reading your works.I was wondering if you'll still do the requests that you mentioned there because they were all great ideas : https://www.tumblr.com/narcosmx/669340063334842368/request-list-here-is-a-list-of-the-request-that

being enedina's best friend and falling for benjamin arellano-felix would include:

a/n: okay so this made mee think about the enedina's bff falling for benjamin thing and i got going, so yes i'll be going back to some of these hehe

okayokay hear me out rich boss babes together

WHICH LEAD ME TO THINK LIKE WHAT IF ENEDINA'S BFF WAS AMADO'S YOUNGER SISTER

so like amado is the kind of older brother where like... you call me and ofc i'll come solve your problems for you but can you like....maybe handle what you can on your own

kinda just gives her a wad of cash, la bendicion and be like go live your life kid at least one of us should enjoy the money i'm making lol

"vaya con dios mijita" also get the vibes that he def taught you how to fly too

so i imagine you being a little bit more rough and tumble than enedina

but like you bring out the boss bitch in her, reminds her she is capable of breaking away from this idea of "being a woman" was

being bffs with dina gives me like, you practically live at her place vibes you know

like you have a toothbrush, and clothes and your favorite soaps in the goddamn shower

you go home only to like swap out the roation of outfits you have or getting a new pair of shoes or something

otherwise you were essentially living at the arellano-felix house, shit even their mom jokes about her liking you more than your own kids

and the girls fucking love having you around, and lowkey probably ramon too because you're never one to shoot down his crazy ass ideas

pancha is like "don't you like, ever get tired of being here" and you're like "don't you ever get tired of being the ugliest member of this family?"

and benjamin oh benjamin at first he tries to pay you no mind, but you're not one he can easily ignore

so he resigns himself to nodding at you and huffing with laughter when he sees how comfortably you lounge around his fucking house because no matter what you do like he cannot get mad at you

you do something and he smiles and someone else does that same exact thing he'd rip them several new assholes.

okay listen i don't know why i get the vibes that like you're an expert at breaking into anything that isn't welded shut

you know, like you grew up around criminals you were bound to pick something up

not that you had to break into dina's place, you had a key but sometimes it's just fun to freak the other's out

i just imagine, like benjamin coming home a day after having like fortified security and he just looks into the backyard and you're chilling poolside

he walks out and it like "w-we changed the locks yesterday after a security issue... how the fuck did you? dina is out making your key right now??"

you nearly giggling as you take a sip of your drink "you make me laugh, benji"

YOU CALLING HIM BENJI I CANNOT \

him opening his mouth to say something and him being like yeah nope nevermind and turning on his heel and walking inside

hehe having to turn on his heels so fast because he can't help but smile at you and your antics

dina walking out and being like "hey bebe, i left your key in your bag" but side eyeing her brother because she knows she knows something is up

because no one makes her wet blanket of a brother smile like that

you and dina going to fancy dinners together can you imagine, going to the hottest spots in all of baja

you two getting all dolled up in her room together, they can hear you laughing from down the street lol

unabashedly singing at the top of your lungs lol

but i also have this one moment of scene stuck in my head

you and dina are in a rush getting ready to go somewhere and like dina is showering and you're like

well i'm def not showering in any of the other boys fucking rooms because NOPE

and i dunno but benjamin gives you vibes that his bathroom would be clean and so you...go for it

you couldnt have shame if they paid you so you're just out here causally breaking into fucking tijuana's biggest drug dealer's room

going in to take a shower, showering you know and then as you come out with like a robe wrapped around yourself and drying yout hair, benjamin is entering the room

and there's just this moment where benjamin is looking at you like with like a what the fuck but like amused face

and you're like "look, where else did you want me to go? i'm def not fucking showering in ramon's shower"

and benjamin is like "hm i don't know maybe???? the freaking guest bathroom"

and you laughing him off the face of the planet

and okay imagine he has like documents laying around his room because he wakes up in the middle of the night and worries about bus iness stuff because that's him

anyways you saw it and you idk just have this knack for business or math and you just walk up past him brushing against him and kiss his cheek and are like "thanks for sharing the bathroom with me, and if you raise the tax 1.5 percent over 6 months you'll cover that cost" you note motioning your head towards the document and walking away AHHH

[pavardscherie]

Jealous benji , fucking out the bratiness of y/n

look at you, benjamin pavard

pairing benjamin pavard & female

summary she keeps commenting about how good his teammates looked at a birthday party, and benji takes her straight to the bathroom to fuck it out of her.

warnings 18+ required, sexual content, hand around throat, little blood mentioning

izzy talks.

just saying, imagine that man railing you, destroying you completely for saying that one of his teammates is actually good looking. i’m down for it, i volunteer.

my smut writing is still a little bit odd? idk, i’m still trying my best to write a good smut scene. hope this one is kind of alright.

whiskey glass tightly in his grip, the calloused fingertips pressing strongly against the thick material. an expensive sip of bourbon awaited to be drowned, the taste creating a sudden, burning feeling in the throat while swallowing. yet, benjamin slowly swung the drink in circles, eyes glued to the woman who held a conversation with two of his teammates.

he wasn’t the jealous type, until she decided to push the buttons, he didn’t know he had. oh, joshua looks really nice tonight. i couldn’t imagine him in a suit. she informed benjamin an hour ago, before disappearing in the crowd and finding the exact person for a conversation. she was playing with fire, close to being burned by the unhealthy mixture of anger and jealousy in pavard‘s stomach.

yet, he didn’t stop her. slipping out of his tight grasp on her ways, she reminded him that she loved to ignore the warnings, he whispered in her ear. „stop flirting with my mates.“ fingertips dug into her left hip, pushing her backside closer to his chest. he wasn’t hurting her, still, he knew he would leave marks. a reminder that she belonged to him; and none other. „i don’t understand your problem, benji.“ she pouted, wiggling against his tight grip, she pressed herself against his crotch for an advantage to escape.

„i swear, if you don’t stop, i won’t make any promises anymore.“ benjamin hissed, the warm breath fanning over her exposed neck. she always knew which buttons she had to push to change the moods. but pavard could not forget about the multiple comments about his teammates. „you’re hesitating. maybe i should get back to another one your teammates. maybe they will fuck me good.“ she provoked the already, dangerous mixture of emotions in the pit of his stomach. the bratiness in her words, and the tones of fake annoyance.

„you’ll badly regret that attitude.“ teeth grazed over his chewed-up bottom lip and he quickly drowned the bourbon for another boost of confidence. fleshy fingers wrapped tightly around her wrist, benjamin pulled his girlfriend towards the staircase. "benji, what the fuck? where are you going?" she tried to free her wrist from his painful grip, but benjamin was stronger. she knew that. "to teach you a lesson." the head tilted to the side, his answer was carelessly spoken over the shoulder and louder than needed. a gaze did not follow them, the teammates too occupied with their current conversation and the booze of the alcohol.

at the top of the staircase, benjamin entered the first room on the right. a large guest bathroom, which looked way more expensive than the usual ones. manual truly earned enough money, to have at least two houses or even three.

closing the door behind them, pavard immediately locked it. he did not need his teammates to see the anger awoken inside of him. running the sweaty palms across the face, the centre back walked closer to his girlfriend. back turned to the football player, she admired the ornaments around the mirror and took a sip from the red wine glass, she carried with her.

benjamin‘s hands rested on her waist, pushing her forwards and harshly against the counter beside the sink. a surprised gasp coaxed out, she furrowed the brows. turning around wasn’t an option, she was trapped between pavard‘s towering figure and the counter. the only way to see him was through the reflection in the mirror. yet, benjamin didn’t glance at her while hiking the hem of her dress up.

the red, lacy thong disappeared between her round ass cheeks, the color a beautiful contrast to her skin. a groan slipped out of his mouth at the delicious sight. running the palm over the curves, benjamin glanced at the mirror. she had the lids closed, bathing in the sensation of his sensitive touch. mischief tugged on the corner of his mouth, a smirk spreading over the face.

drawing his hand back, he slapped her the right check with a small amount of force. yelping in surprise, she tried to stand up. angered by the actions, she desired to question the intentions. but benjamin thought faster. a hand sprawled out on the small of her back, he pushed against her and held her in the position. „don’t.“ benjamin growled, repeating the slapping to her left cheeks. small red dots formed on her skin, a light reminder of what happened behind closed doors.

„what’s your problem?“ she protested, feeling the stinging in both cheeks. throughout the months, benjamin has been always gentle, never left marks on other places than her hips. but this was different, it was much rougher. „i’m fucking out that attitude.“

he wasn’t looking at her anymore, his eyes focused on her ass. calloused fingers spread the cheeks, and pulled the thin underwear to the side. a small spot drenched in arousal proved that she enjoyed the roughness more than she admitted. dipping his fingers lower, the wetness pooled between her clenched legs and welcomed his touch. „benjamin, stop. they could hear us!“ she tried to protest again, but met the deaf ears of her boyfriend.

„not like you cared when you wanted to seduce kimmich.“ benjamin chuckled deeply, the long fingers running over her clit. seconds of touch was enough to turn her into a whimpering, needy mess. leaning forward, his chest pressed against her back, he repeated the movement of his fingers. slowly stroking over her clit. "no, mon amour. you don't deserve the easy way out of this."

the muttered words were almost a threat, a warning about what he has planned as a punishment. bliss melted from her face, leaving behind a somber fear of what awaited her. "benjamin.." she trailed off, the words heavy but the tone extremely gentle. shaking his head, the mischievous glint in the deep brown of his eyes drove her absolutely wild. she could feel a warm jolt of desire, burning in her core, underneath the traces of his fingertips.

leaning back in position, benjamin's hands retreated from her figure for merely seconds to open the zipper. pants and briefs pulled down slightly - only enough to free his erection from the fabric prison. „that fucking bratiness..“ benjamin growled, not wasting another second and pushing his dick into her wet hole. pleasure infiltrated by the pain of being stretched out all at once, without feeling his scissoring finger. a deep moan trembled out of her parted lips, the lids closed to bath in the moment of bliss.

one hand placed on her waist, his left hand brushed the long strands over her shoulder. calloused fingers snug around her neck, wrapping around her throat. tightly, but not enough to decline the breathing. „punishment.“ the football player muttered, drawing his hips back until only the reddened tip was left inside of her. before she had a chance to react, benjamin‘s hips collided with her marked ass in a hard and deep thrust.

balls smacked against her clit, the arousal dropped down the insides of her thighs. she did not want to enjoy the punishment. but resistance was an unexisting word with her lover‘s dick deep inside of her. rough always became their escape route to the usual, romantic and slow hours in bed. she couldn’t complain, he always made her feel like swaying in heaven. the sound of skin hitting against one each others flooded and echoed through the tiled bathroom.

benjamin‘s thrusts were perfectly angled, hitting her g-spot over and over again. the bottom lip captured between his teeth, his darkened orbs focused on the way his dick easily slipped in and out of her warmth. swallowing the deep groans, the erotic sight caused a difficulty to keep a steady rhythm.

still, he never came before her. benjamin needed the intense pulsating around his cock, her walls holding him tightly inside of her and milking the cum.

his thrust were hard, pressing her hip bones stronger against the marble counter with each movement. blue marks would be left as a reminder around her stomach.

a loud, breathy moan left her mouth as benjamin pulled her chest towards him, arching her back. a position to reach deeper spots. a chance to increase the roughness of his thrusts. „you’re so beautiful when you’re fucked out.” face nuzzled into the mess of hair, the groans were silenced by the thickness of the strands. glancing at the mirror, he applied more pressure on her throat. “look at you.”

lids opened to follow the demands, the pupils dilated as a tear rolled down her cheek. a trail of mascara left on her red-tinted skin, the water gathered in the corners of her eyes. lipstick faded on her bottom lips, a reminder of how often her teeth chewed on the soft skin to keep quiet. “will you be a good girl for the rest of the night?” he muttered, punctuating his question with a particular hard thrust.

she whimpered, the quivering bottom lip pushed out. trapped between bliss and pain, she drifted deeply into the pleasure. hands holding on to the counter, the glass already laid on the floor. red wine left stains on the beige carpet, and she knew, manuel would question the origin. “i said, will you be a good girl for the rest of the night?” benjamin stopped his thrust, squeezing her windpipe tighter for barely a second.

“y-yes.” she coaxed out, and benjamin’s hand immediately loosened to allow the inhaling and exhaling again. after all, he didn’t want her to faint from the lack of oxygen. “then be a good girl, and cum for me.”

she did not recognize if the pace of his hips increased to a godly speed, or if his whispered demands ignited another burning sensation in the pit of her stomach. a familiar tingling, a sensation that made her legs tremble from the intensity. head fell forward, the lids closed and the mouth widely open. moans, loud and quiet ones, in different octaves left her throat, the waves of bliss washing over her. “benjamin.” she repeated over again between the labored breaths.

her walls fluttered around his dick, tightly wrapping him up with warmth and pushing him into the bliss of his own orgasm. whimpers and whines filled the bathroom. but benjamin’s sounds were simple, a deep growl and muttered ‘fucks’ as he painted the insides of her pussy in a milky white.

heavy and warm breaths mixed in the thick air around them, the hasty breaths floated as the only leftover sounds through the bathroom. a dark apple-red covered the span of her cheeks, mascara smeared around the eyes from the intensity of emotions. taking a step back from the heat of her soft skin, benjamin pulled himself out of her and tugged his dick away. arousal flooded down the insides of her thigh, mixed with the white spurts of him.

calloused fingertips stroke over her leg, the reminder of their orgasms carefully wiped away. but he wasn’t going to waste it, as his long digits found the still stretched out pussy, and pushed the remains back inside before placing the thin lace panties over her clit and between her ass cheeks again.

“better not waste any of the precious stuff.”

[haziel-luz]

His Priority {Donnie x Reader}

Chapter 4: Let Him Go

The past three weeks gave you surprises, like Casey finding you, and revealing his break up with April. You didn’t want to even think about your own break up. Right now, you’re hanging out with Raph, training on the rooftop. He really made you work out your anger, and it was satisfying.

“Alright bug, that’s it for today, feeling better?” Raph pulled a towel and water from his bag and tossed them to you.

“So much better, thanks for this.” You wiped your face and neck with the towel. “I really appreciate you taking the time to train tonight.” You open the water bottle and begin drinking it in gulps.

“No problem, but is that all you called me for?” Raph raised an eyebrow and hanged his towel around his neck. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, as far as you thought, you just wanted to release some stress.

“It’s been a few days since then, I was just wondering if you had any curiosity.” Raph leaned against the wall opening his bottle. Well, he wasn’t wrong, you did have some questions about how Donnie is now, but you were better off not asking.

“I do, but it’s better if I don’t know anything. Whether he’s figuring things out, comfortable, heartbroken, or moved on. I rather not know any of that right now. I know he’s your brother and you care for him, but since he’s my ex, there shouldn’t be a reason for me to hold his burden. Whatever that may be.” You sat down and sighed out of exhaustion. You’ve always been honest to Raph about how you really felt, and you hope that this doesn’t change your friendship. Looks like Donnie really did listen to you this time. He left and didn’t come back, the city has felt silent at night since then.

“That’s alright, but since we’re on that topic, how’s Casey?” Raph smiles when you playfully glare at him.

“He’s annoying as usual, thanks for that.” You threw your towel towards him, he instinctively doges the towel in disgust. You laugh and continue, “He’s doing good, he found a new roommate to crash with while he tries to look for an apartment. Maybe just a studio apartment.”

“Ain’t he crashing with his cop buddy? What’s his name..” Raph sits next to you, thinking.

“Benjamin, he just calls him Ben though.” You snicker at the name, sure it’s a ridiculous name, but your ex was named after a literal artist.

“Ah right, Benji. Anyways, since you're both doing good, how about the three of us hanging out next time? Drinks are on Casey.” Raph smirks, probably plotting what to do for that night. Knowing his schemes, this might include turning Casey into his drunk puppet. Oh how you missed the embarrassing display.

A notification sound came from Raph, he grabbed his cell and slumped at the message. Guess it’s time to go back to work.

“Patrol time sucks sometimes,” Raph stands along and picks up his bag, “Get home safe, alright bug?”

“Alright, see you later, snappy.” You chuckle at his groan as he walks away. This time, going home isn’t a problem. Your thoughts are not loud and your body just wants rest for the first time in two days. You're betting that tomorrow is gonna get better.

____________

This morning felt so refreshing, no work today but you guess a walk around the city can help you occupy your mind. Your body has been feeling sore from training last night, you hate that feeling when you just want to be energized. Grabbing your bag and keys, you left your apartment and walked outside on the busy sidewalk.

You’ve been keeping tabs with Casey this morning, he wanted to grab breakfast again but something came up for him. So, it’s just you listening to your music, minding your own business. You gave your single life luxury, there's no way you can stay away from your favorite stores.

Then there it is, your store, more like your playground. It’s a store that had it all aside from clothes, you were more into gaming. A nerdy side to you that you didn’t show often. Why not see what’s available for today.

Going into the store was like going through your Christmas list. So many consoles and enough games to entertain you for months. As you're going through the games on the shelves, you didn’t realize someone was talking to you. You felt a hesitant tap on your shoulder and you turned around surprised. It’s April…great. Now you wish you didn’t even turn around.

You refrained from rolling your eyes and took out your earphones reluctantly. “Can I help you?” Your voice was neutral, and you didn’t want her to think that there's a chance for any sort of friendship.

“Uh hey, I just wanted to see if we could talk.” She seemed a little hesitant by this interaction, but she stayed firm.

“We already are, I doubt you're here to have a girl time.” You exhaled through your nose as you slowly walked around the store to see more game options. 

“Yea…I just wanted to say that nothing happened between me and Donnie. He was just someone I could always count on when things got difficult.” April explains while following you around, and you clench your jaw a little. And Casey isn’t?

“I already had this conversation with him. Look, I appreciate you defending him, but things are a little more complicated because of him.” You tried to wave her off, hoping that your response would be enough to make her walk away. She was quiet for a moment, and you took that as a cue to walk away. “Alright, if that’s all it is then, bye-” 

“He’s not in a good place.” April stopped you from ending the conversation with a slap of a burden. You talked about this with Raph last night, and now she’s the one feeding to your unwanted thoughts.

“Are you serious right now?” You stared coldly into her eyes.

“He’s not in a good place. Donnie hasn’t been himself lately, he refuses to leave the lab, barely eats, and works himself to the bone, even in the dojo. Everyone’s worried about him, while you're picking out a game. Just where he knew you would be.” She stands her ground and frowns slightly at your reaction. 

Your blood was boiling and your hands were clenching in the pocket of your hood. There is no way that she felt like she had the right to call you out as if you were in the wrong. You couldn’t really help but be angry enough to laugh at her. She was taken back by your sudden laughter.

“You think I can help him cure his depression? Make him happy? You? The girl who became his number one since day one. The redhead that couldn’t help herself to be around him when it was convenient.” You stared at her menacingly. Two can play the “talk shit” game. While she’s here you might as well humble her.

“Yes, I do think that maybe if you talk to him, he can get better. I know I’m the last person you want to see, but if you put your petty feelings aside then you can help Donnie. I wasn’t exaggerating about his well-being.” She speaks as if she’s wise and reasonable, but let’s play this out.

“Fine, but under one condition,” You step forward, making her take a step back, and you lean forward a little, “let him go.” Her face shows how confused she is. How pathetic.

“Let him go? What are you-” She was about to say something ignorant, until you cut her off on her bullshit.

“‘What are you talking about?’”, You mocked her, “Oh please, save me the fake confusion. I have the right to be petty, you don’t have the right to be so righteous. You want to be his savior sweetheart , then you should start giving him some type of closure. Let. Him. Go.” You sternly gave her the option, no, the obligation to make the choice. You know deep down that if you went to help Donnie, she would be given the credit, his appreciation, his admiration, his praise.

Her eyes widened at your demand, she readjusted herself and exhaled through her nose, "Letting him go would mean that I would be losing a best friend. I can’t just cut ties with him like that. We can establish boundaries, if that’s what you want.”

“Ah, there it is.” You chuckle humorlessly.

“I’m being serious. We can get along somehow, we-” April wanted to keep her composure as best she could by extending the olive branch. You're just not in the mood for “peace” right now, not this kind. 

“We? Let me be blunt, you have rubbed me the wrong way ever since I had to watch Donnie make a fool of himself for you. Even right before we broke up, he just lied to make you a priority over me. You want to be the peacemaker for Donnie’s sake, good for you, but I’m not sorry for not enjoying your presence, or even listening to your annoying noun of a name. Good-bye.” You readjusted your bag and walked away, your feet dragged you out of the scene as fast as they could. Another minute with her and you probably would’ve seen red.

All you wanted was a damn game, but no, somehow that’s ruined too. And Donnie… now that you know that he isn’t doing well, you hope that he can understand the situation. Wait, understand ? He should do whatever it takes to figure himself out even if it’s breaking him. You’ve been dealing with almost breaking apart for almost your whole relationship, even friendship. It’s only fair.

You heard her raising her voice, she’s still following you outside. “Wait! Hey, we're not done here.” She calls out your name and finally catches up to you. Her hand lands on your shoulder. Bad move. You turn around and slap her arm away and you finally give it to her.

“For fucks sake- Just go out with him! How stupid do you think I am? You honestly expect me to believe that you were never once curious, because even Casey thinks so.” You were seeing red, you really didn’t want to hurt her, so you might as well bring her down. April glared at you, she finally looked just as angry as you did.

“That was really uncalled for, what happened with me and Casey-” She instantly shut her mouth at a familiar voice.

“Me and Casey what?” Casey raised an eyebrow as he stood behind her. Everyone stood silent, so much tension was in the air that everyone walking on the sidewalk avoided their gaze. After a minute, Casey walked past her and stood right beside you, he looked down to meet your eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked, tilting his head. His face was calm, as if he wasn’t even standing in front of his ex right now. How is he doing that? You didn’t trust your voice, so all you did was nod.

“Casey…” April whispered almost longingly, her eyes stare at him in disbelief, and in awe. He did mention to you that he hasn’t seen her since the break up, and that was three weeks ago. Yet it seemed longer for her, based on her expression.

“So what’s this about? If I can even ask.” Casey gave her a neutral look, his voice was almost freezing cold. April didn’t seem prepared to encounter him.

“It’s just… Donnie isn’t doing very well.” Her nose slightly scrunched at the name she blurted out.

“Donnie huh? Well, send him my best. Shall we?” Casey lays one hand on my shoulder to turn us away.

“I know you're not his biggest fan, but his condition is really bad, he needs help. I’m doing what I can, but he needs her.” She just wouldn’t let it go. Your hands clenched tightly, and he noticed.

“She’s not your biggest fan either, so I’m helping her right now. He needs her now, but she needed him way before this. So, I’m gonna have to ask you to stop trying to fix something out of your reach. It’s tiring.” He sighed and continued to make us walk away from her. You turned your head and observed how defeated she looked. You didn’t know if it was for Donnie or Casey. Casey said your name softly, rubbing your arm.

“If something like this happens again, just let me know. You almost seemed ready to punch her.” His calm voice was bringing you back from your thoughts. This became emotionally draining for you, and you were really thankful that Casey was around.

You were also worried about Casey’s wellbeing, but he repeated several times that he’s fine. As you both walked, there was still silence, but a calmer silence. This is what you needed, a moment of peace from the angry thoughts running through you at a thousand miles a minute.

Ugh, how annoying.

______________

Next => Chapter 5: ? (Coming Soon)

Previous <= Chapter 3: Figure It Out

[bearratic]

Get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog.

——— BASICS.

NICK[NAME] : Benjamin. [Benji/Bear.]

PRONOUNS : He/Him.

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius - Feb 7th.

TAKEN OR SINGLE : Single.

ANYTHING ELSE? : Real fuckn dutch. Made of stroopwafels.

——— THREE SERIOUS FACTS.

Writing gives me the time and space to gather my thoughts. I use it as a practice in conveying emotion, which makes it easier to do so and thoroughly explain reasoning. I use writing as a base for learning human psyche, soul, mind and spirit which interests me deeply. I try digging deeper into feelings and actions - reasons why some are done and linking them together.

I pick muses based on some hint of personality trait I see of myself in them. I find myself often asking what I want so having muses that at least correlate to my thoughts are a better fit for me than just a choice at random. It can be big as the way they think or it can be as small as sharing a favorite drink. Exploring their interests based on their world and adding on to it makes it way more enjoyable for me to write, story and world building is important to me.

I fucking love everyone I have ever written and will ever write with. This has been nothing but a warm and loving experience for me.

——— THREE RANDOM FACTS.

My nickname is thanks to my father, who even though he named me one thing, found it often too long and switched it to another lol.

I go to at least 3 concerts every month. Mostly rock in genre if I get to chose but I never say no when friends ask. I will always be your +1 to any event.

If I had to pick a country to move to it would be Scotland, sorry but I have a light obsession with that place.

——— EXPERIENCE.

Zero dude. Literally none. I just picked it up as a hobby and passed my blogs one year birthday last august. I have been truly active in the writing community for only half a year in total.

I go with the flow, I enjoy coming up with things on the spot. Diseccting my muses and throwing them into any type of situation just to write myself out of it. Or-... make it worse for them. Keep it interesting you know?

I write through and together with music, I let it guide me often. This is kind of the reason I am a slow replier, I have to really feel what I want to put down and then I can stick to it. Besides that, English is not my first language so I have to switch back and forth in my brain real often. It can be a bit tiring but I gladly do it for my writing partners. Much love.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE.

Give me anything with a background we can explore and me and my muses are in. I thoroughly enjoy talking to you about your muses and mine, from their favorite pairs of socks to their family drama, idc I want to know.

I need a lot of building together, plotting and anything to truly write my muse closer to yours if you want anything deeper. I build through writing together. From something silly to movie scripts. Let them get to know each other to their deepest point.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT.

FLUFF : Yeah definitely, I’m a sappy dude. I like to daydream.

ANGST : Also yeah! I enjoy making problems for my muses, it makes me understand them more. Dread is and can be intense so be sure to be in the right headspace and let me know.

SMUT : Sure, though with my lack of writing experience bear with me on this one. I really have to know how you write and your muse for this to work, I do not wish to overstep boundaries either yours, your muses or my own. Which I am unable to know if we do not at least have a talk about it.

——— PLOT / MEMES : Thanks to you I know how much I enjoy plotting. I know I'm rather slow with DM replies but please don't take it personally I am just truly busy and can only do one thing atta time. Memes! Starters! Send me them all day everyday, I might not get to them immediately but I will and I will love it.

TAGGED BY : @sanctissimx I adore. Thank Yououou.

TAGGING : Cool ppl but no pressure. @cherriedrage @penandswords @patronsxints @carminewill @heterochromatica @ofcursedenergy @modeinthemiddle @huntershowl & You.

[cosmicjoke]

Ugh, though, the fact that Lestat lets Armand drink his blood, when no one else can even touch him, is one of the most moving things of this whole story.  It speaks volumes, in its way, to the love and care between these two.  That despite all the heartbreak and antagonism between them, Lestat lets Armand do this thing he so desperately wants and needs.  If Armand ever doubted Lestat’s love for him, well, I think this one allowance does away with those doubts completely.  And then just Armand’s gentility with Lestat, the way he brushes his hair for him, the way he kisses him, truly, this entire scene is just so touching and so emotionally powerful.  I would type the whole thing out here, but it lasts a long while.  But truly, the whole thing was just so beautiful.

And truly, I think that sort of purity and love between them is highlighted all the more in the context of Marius turning Sybelle and Benji into vampires, against Armand’s own wishes.  That was just such a horrifically messed up thing for Marius to do, to do something like that when Armand had entrusted them to Marius’ care.  And Marius deludes himself as to the reasons why he did it, he lies to himself and to Armand because he’s so torn up over his own confusion and misery, over the loss of his own faith, and while I feel for him here, I do, and I think he really believes what he’s saying to Armand about doing it out of love, there’s something particularly loathsome about that self-delusion, about the lies he tells here.  Because it speaks to just the total lack of understanding and even empathy on Marius’ part for Armand and Armand’s pain and a lack of respect for Armand’s wishes, or in understanding what it is that Armand values.  His sort of epiphany at the end, when realizes Armand loves Sybelle and Benji is a totally selfless way, that his love for them was more respectful than Marius’ ever was for Armand, sort of drives home the point that Marius, as certain as I am that he does love Armand, never truly understood him, or accepted him for who and what he was.  He wanted to shape Armand in his own image, and one can see him doing the same with Lestat, why he went to Lestat while he turned away from Armand.  Because he saw in Lestat someone who he could more easily shape to his own standards, someone who he could succeed with where he had failed with in Armand.  Armand basically points this out to Marius when he accuses him of turning Sybelle and Benji out of hate and spite.  The problem for Marius with Lestat, of course, is that Lestat is too much of the rebel, and in his own way, failed just as spectacularly to be what Marius wanted him to be as Armand did.  And for both Armand and Lestat, they’ve been made to feel the weight and anguish of that disapproval.  It’s heartbreaking.  Because truly, it isn’t them who failed, it’s Marius.  He failed to be the guiding light that both Armand and Lestat needed him to be.  For both of them, in his own, confused philosophizing, he sent them down different paths which ultimately lead to them experiencing extreme pain and loss.

I think that makes the ending of “The Vampire Armand” all the more poignant, then, when Lestat finally wakes from his coma and comes to Armand, and asks him if Sybelle can play the Appassionata for him. 

“His voice was faltering and weak from lack of use, and he spoke very softly, his breath just touching my flesh.

“Sybelle,” he said.

“Yes, Lestat, what is it, what about her, tell me,” I said.  I held his hands as firmly and lovingly as I could.

“Sybelle,” he said again. “Do you think she would play the Sonata for me if you asked her?  The Appasionata?”

I drew back and looked into his vague drifting blue eyes.

“Oh, yes,” I said, near breathless with excitement, with overflowing feeling.  “Lestat, I’m sure she would.  Sybelle!”

The relief in Armand at this simple request, this expression of shared passion and appreciation for Sybelle and her music, is incredible, and says so much.  Armand speaks about how Marius and David both don’t get it, when he tries to explain to them what Christ means to him, why he calls him the Lord.  He feels alienated and separated from them, alone in not being able to make them understand.  It feels like the same, in Armand’s dislike of Gabrielle, in how she failed so completely to be a simple mother to Lestat.    And so it feels like a moment of true commiseration between Armand and Lestat, between these two, poor kids who never had a chance against the wide, rotten world, or the adults in their lives who failed them so spectacularly.  And so in that moment, when Lestat comes to him and speaks to him, it’s Lestat showing Armand that if no one else can understand him, if they can’t understand why something as simple as a beautiful piece of music can mean so much to him, or the girl who creates it, Lestat can.  Lestat understands exactly.  

[joes-sha-la-la-la-girl]

Love Bites: Chapter 3

Series Masterlist

After they left, Tammy let out a loud sigh, earning everyone’s attention.

“What?” Joe asked her as she kept her eyes on the exit where Y/N and Doug had just gone through. 

Tammy didn’t answer to start with, prompting Johnny to jump in. “He’s always like this with Y/N. He doesn’t like her going anywhere without him.”

“Bloody hell.” Phil murmured under his breath as the rest of Def Leppard looked at them in shock.

“He’s also not exactly happy about Y/N working with you. Or us going on tour with you.” Tammy eventually spoke up.

“Why not. Surely if he is her boyfriend he wants what's best for her?” Sav asked.

“Well, you’d think, wouldn't you?” Benji muttered as he stared at his drink. He wasn’t a man of many words but when it came to his friends he would defend them to the end of the earth. 

“So what’s his problem then?” Steve asked.

“Well, since Ultraviolet started receiving more attention he has been clinging to Y/N as if she is just gonna disappear. He hates the idea of her not spending time with him.” Tammy told them. 

The conversation died down after that. Small chatter on plans for the upcoming tour took over but for Joe, the idea that Y/N was with someone who was controlling over her, wouldn’t leave his mind. 

*

“I know what you’re thinking.” Sav told Joe the minute they entered the small house that they were renting whilst they were in London.

“Oh yeah. And what’s that?” Joe asked him as he looked his best friend in the eye.

Their conversation had attracted their bandmates' attention.

“You can’t go after her, Joe. No matter how bad her boyfriend is for her.”

“I wasn’t going to.” Joe told him, though the thought had crossed his mind more than once since he had met Doug.

“He’s right Joe, no matter how much of an arse he might seem.” Phil chimed in as he looked at the lead singer.

“I won’t do anything okay?” Joe looked around him before heading off to bed.

Sav watched his friend go before he sat on the sofa and looked at his bandmates. 

“You know that this Doug isn’t good for her.” Rick pointed out as he sat next to Sav.

“I know but he can’t do or say anything. No matter what. We don’t know her well enough to get involved.” Sav responded.

“I just hope she knows that she deserves better.” Steve spoke sitting next to his terror twin. Despite the two not knowing each other for long, the guitarists had clicked the moment they were in the studio together, causing mayhem from the get-go. 

*

“Did you have to cause such a scene?” Y/N asked Doug as they shut the front door to their flat.

“Me ‘cause a scene?” Doug asked her with rage brewing behind his eyes. “I only asked a question about your jobs.”

“You asked stupid questions about our jobs. You know why music videos have to be filmed so close together.” Y/N told him, an angry tone in her voice but she refused to raise it at him.

“You’re always pestering me to take more interest and then you get pissed when I do.”

“I shouldn't have to ‘pester’ you.” Y/N used finger air-quotes around the word pester. “You should just take an interest in what I love to do.” 

“How can I when I don’t understand it? You are obsessed with the idea of running off around the world with a group of people I don’t know. You’d rather do this than get a real job to help me pay the bills.” Doug yelled at her.

“Wow. Look, I don't spend the money I do earn on myself. Everything I do earn goes into this place. It’s not frequent, which is why I save it and use it over time.” Y/N told him.

“All I’m saying is that if you have a real job then we wouldn’t be struggling for money this much.” 

“How do you know that? Many people work ‘real’ jobs.” She used the air-quotes again. “And they still struggle to pay rent. I am working hard to build a career for myself that I love rather than working a dead-end nine-to-five job that I will be unhappy in for the rest of my life.”

“You think I love my job Y/N? I had dreams and aspirations too, the difference is, I am grown up enough to realise that dreams don’t come true.”

“Fuck you Doug. You don’t have to understand. You just have to support me. Not try to embarrass me infront of a band that I am about to tour with. A band that I am filming their music videos with. If dreams don’t come true then how come I am living mine?”

“That’s what this is about? You are embarrassed of me infront of all these men that you get to work with now?”

“That’s not what this is about. This is not about you. Def Leppard have invited me and the others to play with them in America. They have given me a chance to get my face out there. They are a big deal in America and I don’t want to screw up the chance that my band could be too.” Y/N took a deep breath as she looked at her boyfriend. The love that she had once felt for that man was long gone. “I’m going to bed.” She announced.

“We’re not done here Y/N.” Doug shouted after her but she ignored him. 

This argument was one of many that they had. To start with Y/N had tried to explain to him about why this was all so important to her, but overtime she had enough of his selective hearing. She knew that she didn’t love him anymore but she didn’t know how to leave. She couldn’t face her bandmates who had warned her about him in the first place and she had no family around her anymore to help her out. She couldn’t afford to live on her own and she had been with Doug since she moved to London four years ago.

Y/n got herself ready for bed before she settled under the covers. She wasn’t sure if Doug would join her or sleep on the couch after their argument. She quietly hoped it was the latter but she knew in her heart he would probably come to bed eventually. 

She was right. Within the next few hours, Doug had joined her in bed, smelling like alcohol. He didn’t try to cuddle her, he just collapsed on the bed and started snoring. Y/N laid awake for hours, for the first time since they left the pub, she let her mind wander to the green-eyed lead singer. How he was looking at her and how his face fell when he saw Doug walk up to her.

She couldn’t help the small smile that came across her face as she realised that maybe he was attracted to her too. She knew nothing could ever come of it but a selfish part of her dwelled on the thought that one day they potentially could be together, no matter how unrealistic it was.

[knownangels]

velvet (october prompt)

It begins with little stretches of time fleeing from his day. Bits and pieces, gone. Poof. Magic trick.

Maran isn’t any stranger to the funny, fluctuating passages of time; if he’s bored, a second will last eternity. If he ha something to do, hours drop from the day like crumbs, only bits and pieces. He’ll have started a project only return to himself an hour later with a finished scarf in his hands.

But lately.

Lately it’s been different.

He comes to one afternoon without an activity having occupied his Saturday. Benji and Tino are out, of course, having gone evidence hunting or problem solving or general sleuthing, whatever it may be. And Maran, because he was loyal enough to offer transport but not so loyal that he felt the need to wade around in murder-island-water with his best mate, had taken to the Life Insurance.

He would be fine alone. He could handle some rough waters, if the weather came to it. He wasn’t green after all. He knew his way around the water. He could be trusted, he didn’t need to be kid gloved—

Maran sits at his kitchen table, finger table absentmindedly against Geico’s terrarium. Watching the cool mists of the temperature and filtration system, he stares down at the piece of paper in his other hand.

Grocery List, it says, and he has the impression that it is supposed to be his handwriting. But it looks…strange. Each t tilts opposite the way he’d usually write it. Every a wears one of those fancy little hats at the top, the curved bit he’s too impatient to spend time adding if he’s in a rush to write a note. And it seemed he was rushed. But Maran doesn’t remember writing it. Doesn’t remember sitting down and having the thought: I am going to write a grocery note.

Much less waking up that morning, to begin with. He almost doesn’t want to check the galley sink for a used tea cup. He’d almost rather not know.

Grocery List, the note says, in Maran’s (?) pokey, scrawling script. And then, right below that header…

Food. Food. Food. Food. Food. Food.

Maran drops the note to the table and rubs over his mouth. He close his eyes. He tries very hard not to lose his fucking mind. To go absolutely mental, mad in every sense. He feels that way.

It must have been him writing it. Nobody uses that color-changing pen. Nobody has access to it. Nobody has access to his boat, other than Tino and Benji.

And they’re too busy working. Fixing a problem. Being serious and professional and helpful to society while Maran—

While he sits here on his boat, the boat he bought on a impulsive whim after his father’s windfall. While he scares himself silly with strange nosies at night that he probably just dreamt up. With lights off the coast, beacons of impossibly bright neons flickering up from, what seemed like, the sea floor.

Debris. He tells himself. Bioluminescent bacteria from vents deep below them.

And if those sorts of things can exist deep below them, what else might?

Maran shakes his head. He looks back at the note. His stomach rolls, flips, tightens and goes sour.

Geico’s tongue flicks out to catch a roving gnat against the terrarium’s interior. For some reason, this circle of life soothes him. The world goes on, geckos need food, and all that bothers is if the warming rock’s been turned on or not. Nothing else to worry about. Nothing.

It gathers an airy laugh from Maran that quickly turns nervous. He can’t shake the image of his own strange, alien scrawl from his thoughts.

He wets his lips, swallows a thick and cottony feeling in his mouth. Dry. He needs a drink. He needs several.

“Feel like a vacation, mate?”

Geico blinks one eye at a time.

*

Maran doesn’t expect the door to open after the first knock. He doesn’t expect it to open at all, and so he isn’t quite prepared when it does.

“Hullo. Uh. Maran.” He chirps, adjusting Geico’s portable enclosure under one arm. His knee comes up to balance it better on his hip, fingers wiggling around the corner as if to say: I’d shake your hand but see? All full.

“Uh,” says Benny intelligently. He looks recently awake, blond hair a springy mess from the back of his neck up. There’s a cowlick on the right that Maran almost wants to mention. “Yeah. I remember.”

He can be a bit weird, Benji was laughing in his memory, so don’t let that scare you off askin’ for help when you need it. You can trust him if..well. If someone feels the urge to toss shit into the fan, y’know?

You think it’s gonna come to that, mate?

The more we uncover about this mess, Mar? I don’t fuckin’ know. Maybe. Maybe.

“I’m, uh.” Maran laughs to himself. The soaking black edge returns to his head, but the light is on in Benny’s living room. It casts enough of a glow onto the gravel path outside, where Maran stands, to fend off some of that darkness.

He laughs again. “Well. Um, I’m here on a maybe.”

Benny blinks at him, eyes trailing a circle from his too-thin, fuzzy-hooded coat; Geico’s enclosure; the duffel slung opposite; his eyes, which feel wide and desperate.

“Sorry? A m-maybe? I’m…not following.”

And despite that, Benny steps aside. Maran tries to fight the relieved smile, the fucking beam that bursts out from his chest, but there’s nothing to be done.

*

Benny’s flat is small. It’s the split-level basement unit of a home owned by the head librarian in town. Apparently, she’s got a cot in the loft at the old building and spends her free, working, and sleeping time there.

“I think she’s got a gentleman caller she won’t tell me about. Needs her space.” Benny teases, clearing several stacks of books for Maran to set the gecko down. “Eighty and still p-pullin’. God fucking bless Georgina.”

“She sounds lovely,” Maran says absent-mindedly; he’s being nosy, assessing the wall furnishings (minimal) and various stacks of books (many) and science magazines (even more).

“She’s a cunt sometimes,” Bennys without a hint of shame, pulling Maran’s startled focus towards him again. He shrugs, smiles. “And I’d kill anybody else wh-who says so.”

“Thanks.” Maran blurts. He steps closer, shins bumping the coffee table. Benny stands on the other side, watching him. Still.

“I’ve been having weird dreams.” He admits. “Maybe a bit…isolated? S’not good for you, y’know. Especially me. I’ve never gotten on well alone, and with Benji and Tino out, it’s like everything’s just dialed up.”

His rambling isn’t met with more teasing, or a look of disgusted you’re over sharing.

Benny just nods. “Innsmouth’ll do that.” He gestures vaguely behind Maran. “And kill whatever nice p-plants are in there with him. You know, because of the chill.”

Maran flaps a hand. “Oh, no. I designed it myself, not to brag. But it’s got a temperature system in there with a recharagable battery tucked into the base, so he’s got a warming rock and automated humidity and —well. It’s not important, just…the little plants in there will be just about as happy as him.”

Benny shifts past him towards the table Geico now calls home — at least temporarily. At least Maran gets socialized, gets his shit in order again.

“What’s this one?” He asks, reaching into the top to pet a finger over some of the foliage.

“Lamb’s ear.” Maran breathes heavily, focused as if hypnotized on gentle sway and brush of leaves against a pale wrist. “Perennial, you usually plant ‘em outside, but my mum taught me the trick to house plant it. Humidity. They’re soft, right?”

Benji’s old friend, his old something, glances up to look at Maran. He smile seems to soften.

Or maybe he’s imagining it. He’s always been prone to imagining and daydreaming and all that other dangerous business.

“Real soft. Almost like vel-vel-velvet.” Benny says. His hand withdraws, brow tightening. “Anyway. Late. Uh, like I said. You can take the couch as long as you need. Key’s under the mat if you want to come and go for— I dunno. Investigation purposes.”

“I’m not part of all that,” Maran demures, taking sudden interest at his socked feet. He flushes to realize they’re Pikachu-print, wants to fucking die for a moment. He wishes he could sink into the godawful 1970s shag carpet. At least it’s soft. At least he’d go quick and easy.

He shrugs. Trails off again, valiantly finds his thought and loses it once more: “So.”

Benny tucks both hands in the pockets of his navy robe. “So…you got some time to k-kill?”

Maran ducks his head. He counts three seconds before he responds, just to test it.

They pass like normal.

[itscooltoskate]

la voz ausente [cap. 5]

[marlenmckinnon]

The first order of the phoenix — taken during the first wizarding war (1970-1981)

Most of them were children, brave, ah yes, but still children.

Marlene Mckinnon -Milly Alcock- was one of the bravest, when she witnessed her whole family's death, she went mad. Killing death eaters while using forbidden spells, the Order wanted to get her out when she sacrificed herself by protecting a pregnant Lily Evans. Her last words were for James, her best friend, Dorcas, her soulmate, and Lily, her dear friend: Fuck you're all ugly criers.

Frank and Alice Longbottom -Andrew Garfield and Carey Mulligan- were pure souls, kind and loyal. Their loyalty cursed them to not meet their only son: Neville. Everything for the Order. Everyone that was there that night, on one or the other side still hears their screams at night. The walls and portraits suffer their pain, and howl at night, for the Lovers of the Order.

Benjy Fenwick -Suraj Sharma- was a witted man, funny, patient, and optimistic. The Hufflepuff was its perfect definition. On his last day, he was so scared and alone. Shivering, but still with his wand out, he always trusted his dear friends, that they could save him. The poor boy was blinded by his trust. One against six, it was doomed from the start. He did not leave, he did not escape. A scared little boy, imploded into pieces.

Edgar Bones -Edvin Ryding- never failed to impress the other members of the Order. His innovative way of thinking gave them many advantages in the war and made them win many battles. The Order was lucky to have him. Edgar was unlucky to fight alongside the Order. His whole family got wiped out, and they began this bloody massacre with him getting killed on a dark street, between trash cans, muggles drinking their problems away, and prostitutes trying to have clients that winter. He became, nothing.

Caradoc Dearborn's -Daniel Kaluuya- strength was such an advantage to the Order, both physical and magical. He also had the gift of lying pretty well and had been on multiple missions to discover weaknesses from Voldemort's side. The mole of the Order, he was called. He had seen, he had to do horrible things to message back and help the Order. After that picture, he announced his last mission. Two months later he came back with useful information, scarred to life. He'd prefer vanishing and disappearing, being called dead than stop working for the Order. He was no traitor. But he couldn't do it anymore, he was tired, so tired...

Gideon and Fabian Prewett -Nick Gehlfuss- are now most well-known to be the younger brothers of the famous Molly Weasley. Before that, they were great warriors. Because yes, they were warriors. They took down many Death Eaters, even in death, Gideon with his last breath took one with him. Fabian was alone and taken back to an unknown location where he was tortured to have information. He never gave in and starved to death, already half gone by his wounds, a few days later. Twins, separated. Ah, history does repeat itself.

Dorcas Meadowes' -Alexandra Park- surname in Hogwarts was the Nosebreaker. She was wild, that one. She and Marlene were the chaotic duo that needed to be tamed, but that worked so well together. She saw so much pain and death, and Marlene's death was the last straw. She couldn't take it anymore. Marlene's madness overtook Dorcas. She did not become mad, she went utterly psychotic and killed everyone in her way, absorbing all the pain and the hardship she contained for years. Voldemort feared her so much he wanted to see her dead himself. He killed her and watched her corpse for two long hours, waiting to be certain of her death. The Nosebreaker became the Death Eaters' Menace.

Those children fought a war that wasn't theirs, knowing the consequences; dealing with the consequences. They suffered loss and misery and pain like no one else. They were children fighting adults' war, while those were behind desks, manipulating the fresh meat to fight for them. Never alongside them. They died, almost every one of them. And each one hoped for one thing, as they took their last breath, that this war would end with them, that their children wouldn't suffer like they did for so long.

[rosekillerismylife]

A little prompt, I guess (not well thought through but I don't care) Disclaimer: it should've been smut but at some point, I turned it into something else? Orchestra ravenrock Oneshot

“Okay, let’s do it from the top again”, Benjy declared and lifted his conductor's baton. Peter groaned. This was the fifth time they played the same piece. The same notes, the same rhythms, the same soli for the last hour. It was fucking exhausting. Angrily, he lifted his flute to his mouth. Behind him, he heard the trumpets whisper.

“He’s gonna kill us one day.”, whispered Sirius to Marlene who just sniggered agreeingly. “If I have to play this fucking three notes one more time, Imma murder him.”, said Barty from behind the drums. His boyfriend Evan just nodded in agreement and busied himself with looking at the notes one more time to make sure that he wouldn’t cause another replay for the whole orchestra. “What even is so wrong with how we play it?”, Emmeline from the tubes whispered to herself. “I don’t even hear a difference. Is he a sadist?”, commented Bellatrix loudly to no one. She clearly was looking for a fight.

“Are you ready? And Bellatrix, if you ignore the tempo and the volume one more time, we’re playing the piece again and again and again.” Benjy gave her the look that shut her up immediately.

Peter felt immensely proud of his husband. The way he handled the orchestra was not only endearing but also sexy. Some may think that being in the same orchestra as one’s partner and even playing under the rule of said partner was annoying and a problem but in reality, there was nothing that turned Peter on more than seeing Benjy in his element as a conductor. The way he gave orders, how he heard every single mistake and how he was just so smart about anything in the piece went immediately to Peter’s cock. Not only how Benjy behaved during rehearsals but his movements and just the whole package of him being their leader was so hot.

“Great. We still have a lot of work to do but for now it is fine.” Benjy said and ended the rehearsals.

Everyone hurried up while packing up their instruments and notes to get faster to drinking beer and enjoying the rest of the evening. While Peter packed up his flute, he thought about all the ways Benjy would fuck him tonight. It was a rather rough rehearsal so he either wants to blow of some steam or he wants to lay down while Peter either blows him or cuddles with him. Just the thought of the relaxing evening ahead of him makes Peter smile brightly.

“What are you smiling at?” Rita asked in her screeching voice. She’s so noisy but would never admit it. The thing with Rita was that you could talk with her and have a great conversation with her if you were aware of how crazy she was because then you could adapt to that level of craziness. If you were unaware, then Rita was just annoying.

“Nothing.” Peter mumbled which didn’t quite help him get Rita off his back. “This doesn’t look like noth-“ She started but was interrupted by her girlfriend Bellatrix.“What are you talking about?” She threw one arm around Rita’s shoulder, mainly to tell everyone that Rita was hers. “Peter was just smiling and I wanted to know the source of that smile but you interrupted me!”, Rita complained.

Peter started to walk away because he sensed that it was going to get messy between Rita and Bellatrix. “Excuse me that I wanted to check on my girlfriend!” Bellatrix exclaimed. Peter walked faster and could only hear the sounds of screeching behind him.

“Oi, Petey boy! What happened, did you didn't suck his cock long enough or why did he torture us today like he hasn't had sex for a week?!” Barty threw one arm around his shoulders, one glass of beer in hand and Evan right beside him.“Well, if you would just listen to what he says instead of doing your own thing, it wouldn't have been this torturing. Also, I recommend to practise.” “I recon that you both hadn't had sex in a while. Otherwise, you wouldn't be this bitchy. Rooting for ya, Petey!” And conversation ended. Barty leaned over to give Evan a kiss which ended up in a huge making out session.

Peter walked faster and made his way to the exit where he waited for Benjy to finish his conversation with Sirius, Marlene and Frank about an important trumpet solo in the piece. He looked so cute while talking about how he wanted them to play it and who should play which part. There was pure excitement in his eyes as he explained to them how he wanted it. It was so endearing to watch.

“Hey, waiting for your man?” Peter didn’t notice Emmeline sneaking up to him. She was now standing next to him, leaning against the wall with one beer in her hand. “Yeah.” Peter answered lamely. He never was good with keeping up conversations, so he just always hoped that the conversation was going to carry on without him having to carry it. Even with Emmeline who was his friend since childhood.

“He seems quite busy. I think you have to wait for a little while longer. Anyhow, did I tell you about Alice?” “Didn’t you go out on a date with someone named Alice?” “Yup.” Emmeline replied, taking a sip of her beer and scanning the crowd. “I went on a wonderful date with them.”

“Any problems? Do they like pineapples on pizza?” Peter asked mockingly. “Haha, no, you twat. The problem was not that they didn’t like pineapples on pizza. The problem was that they were two timing me. They are not really a person for commitment, so they dated me and this other guy for a while without me knowing.” “I take that you went out on more than one date. How did you figure out that they were two timing you?” Peter asked, now fully focused on Emmeline.

Her last relationship was a flop because the guy was the most arrogant and self absorbed person he ever saw, so now she tried dating again which didn’t seem to work. “I saw them holding hands and kissing in public, so I confronted them about it. They said that we weren’t in a relationship so they could date whoever else they wanted. Well, they said it nicer but that was the whole content of the conversation. I tried to explain that dating kind of is a commitment for me but that I respect their decision.” Emmeline took another sip of her beer. Suddenly, he felt two arms wrap around his waist.

“Hello, darling.” Benjy whispered in his ear. He planted his head on Peter’s shoulder, hugged him from behind and just rested there. Peter immediately melted into the touch but still focused on his conversation with Emmeline.

“So, are you still dating them?” “No, I told them that they should think about whether they wanted to be with me or the other guy, because I’m not someone for an open relationship. I haven’t heard from them since we had the conversation.” “Well, at least now you have your answer.” Peter tried to lift her mood even though he knew that it wouldn’t help at all.“Yeah. I think I’m gonna get drunk tonight and then look for a person with whom I either can share my sorrows or get laid. I’ll let you know whichever it is.” Emmeline said before pushing herself from the wall into the crowd.

“Okay, bye!” Peter called after her. He turned around in Benjy’s arms and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Hey.”“Hi. Wanna go home?” Benjy asked. Peter nodded and they quickly bid their goodbyes before exiting the building and walking home.

[actualbird]

muah muah *pops a bottle of champagne as i enjoy the recent marluke cuddling post*

speaking of luke and sleeping... i have a headcanon that luke is probably trained to sleep wherever and whenever because of his job. but also i can't decide if he'd also have some sort of insomnia(?) because as you said... hyper vigilance plus the anticipation of how anything could go wrong at any moment because of his illness, and i would assume his medication could also play an effect on his sleep? i'd just like to know what are your thoughts about it! love your rambles! :D

wahhh, im glad u liked the mariluke spooning headcanons :DD

and my thoughts on ur headcanons is that I LOVE ITTTTTTT!!!

i so very much agree with you that luke is capable of falling asleep anywhere, even in the most unforgiving survival environments. he can sleep on a bus, a train, a plane, the coldest floor known to man, in the middle of the wilderness with only a fire warding away big predators, etc etc.

but i also dont think that thats contradictory to him having some insomnia!!!

cuz like........him being Able to sleep in all kinds of environments is something he'd had to have learned for missions, high stakes situations. it becomes yet another bodily function needed in survival. eat, drink, sleep, survive. with that being said, i dont think the sleep he gets in extreme environments is Particularly restful; it's bare minimum amount of rest needed to keep his body and mind functioning for the tasks the mission needs, and it would also be a light kind of sleep because he'd need to be ready for any kind of danger again.

and thats really different from an 8hr fully restful and healthy daily sleep cycle. and insomnia doesnt just include the ability to fall asleep, but also the quality of that sleep as well.

luke is capable of sleeping wherever because he needs to, but insomnia can totally come in when life is just.......Normal. like, it's a normal ass day with no danger and the most exciting thing to happen is probably peanut bringing back some fun looking leaves, everything is fine and chill but he cant get a Good Quality Kind Of Sleep at night because hes gotten used to Bare Minimum Survival Kind Of Sleep he learned.

the meds thing is also interesting!! since in canon hes mainly on painkillers, that could definitely make him sleepy sometimes and add frustration when he feels lethargic but unable to get a kind of sleep that makes him actually feel truly rested. on the side anticonvulsant medication, a bunch of them also come with fatigue as a common side effect!

still, none of this is a Forever Problem kinda thing. like a lot of issues luke has, a lot of the problem is because he got used to things he had to do in a more extreme portion of his life, and the return to a semblance of a normal life (.....nxx cases dont make for a COMPLETELY normal life but uh, IT'S STILL A BIT BETTER CUZ HES BACK HOME YKNOW SHFJVJKS) highlights the dissonance. it's a different world he has to become accustomed to again.

it's definitely not gonna happen overnight, but luke in canon brings up again and again how some of his life's dreams are dreams of a mundane life with mundane joys. just like benji in FFT (im sorry benji is all thats on my mind these days thanks to the event kjvKJSVKJF), luke is capable of readjusting and making a home in the mundane, in the softer everyday where rest is restful and sleep is woken from peacefully.

in summary:

luke: i can sleep anywhere in any situation!

aaron: uh huh, then why do you still look so tired, kid?

luke, trembling: ....i didnt say the sleep i got was restful ;-;

thank you for the ask <3

[earth4angels]

What is jealous Benjicot like? Like when you two are at a party and he leave you alone for a second to get you two more drinks and some guy is flirting with you. Benji walks back and sees you smiling and laughing with this guy. You kind of have low self esteem and maybe are a little naive so you don’t realize this guy is flirting with you and you are just being friendly. Benji worries that you might leave him.

Is he the type to beg you not to leave him when he gets jealous?

What would Jace do in the same scenario?

ben would definitely go up to you guys and pull you onto his lap first thing, run his hands down your leg, leaving it there, before he turns to the guy whose talking to you and only smiles, like a mocking smile? daring him to continue the conversation. he doesn’t want to make a scene bc he’s there to enjoy the night with you and he doesn’t want to scare you. he’ll kiss you for long tho, to basically make it known you’re not alone.

i don’t think he’ll beg? i feel like he’s more of a conversational man, like he wants to know what makes you feel uncomfortable and what not, he’s patient with you, he got a lot of anger running in his veins but u hold him grounded.

jace, on the other hand, if looks can kill, the guy would be dead. he’ll slowly go up to you guys, ask if there is a problem, he’ll probably call you ‘baby’ in front of the guy, which will make the guy back off bc again jace got this eye.. his looks can kill im telling ya. jace wouldn’t ask or beg, he knows you love him as much as he does for you but you’ll catch him frowning, and you’ll ask him what’s wrong and he’ll probably say something so corny like “the gods made you so pretty.. it’s not your fault”