#ben: asdoijadjdksd excuse me i need to reprogram my brain

[honorhearted]

Charms?

Benjamin laughed at that, his eyes shining with a shy, boyish sort of pleasure. "If you're saying that is all I truly needed to prevail in battle, then I wish I'd learned that a bit sooner," he quipped.

Penelope's next observation froze all tides of thought, and mouth opening and closing, his cheeks burned a brilliant crimson until he felt a touch dizzy. "Oh, I...I didn't mean someone else would teach you, I only meant...I-I didn't think..." No, he bitterly thought, you certainly did not. "Er...I wouldn't be allowed to teach you beforehand. Your mother has already made it abundantly clear that I am to behave myself."

Penelope's eyes sparkled, and in a rare moment of boldness, she whispered to him about his preference for "hands-on techniques," and Benjamin nearly wobbled at such a declaration. His pulse jumped into his throat before pooling low within his stomach.

With a nervous laugh, he accused, "Pen, I'm starting to think you're trying to kill me... Your mother is right down the hall, and thus, I'm unable to do a blasted thing."

Chewing his cheek, Benjamin glanced over his shoulder again, ensuring for the umpteenth time that the door wasn't ajar, before he turned back to her and lowly agreed, "There isn't much to it -- nothing beyond an initial pain that you will only feel for your first time -- and then...well, the physical act itself is pleasurable. Otherwise, I don't imagine we would much care to make children." He laughed then, a soft, husky sound. "But yes, I can lend you the books... Perhaps you can even ask your sisters? They are married, so they might be able to shed some more light on...on what to expect. I'm afraid my perspective can only be helpful towards the male point of view."

Embarrassment still visibly nipped at his cheeks, and befuddled by Penelope's continuous barrage of boldness, Benjamin grinned and asked, "Has being around Brewster truly influenced you so much? I think if I were to follow you up to your room, even for a moment, I would either spontaneously combust, or your mother would have me executed on the spot -- I'm just unsure of which would happen first."

"I knew you could do it, I never doubted that. I just hadn't expected such a swift victory. You fought gallantly, as expected. A true hero. She stood no chance against your charms." She flushed beneath his touch, a foreign sense of fluttering rising in her chest.

"Ben, we are to be married. If I cannot expect my husband to teach me these sorts of things, how will I ever know?" She says with a nervous chuckle, brows furrowing as she watched him. Pen knew it was probably too early to discuss such a matter, but there were so many things cycling through her mind that it was hard to sort them out by priority. They would figure it out, eventually, but until then she'd try to stay afloat amidst the sloshing tides of emotions. Tilting her head to the side, Pen scrunches her nose and fires a quip at him, playful but uncharacteristically bold. "But, I suppose you do tend to prefer the hands on techniques, don't you?"

It was her turn to blush now, a ruddy shade blooming across her cheeks. It felt entirely childish to admit, but she truly didn't know any gist of what happened in the marriage bed. Or at least not enough for her to feel confident on the subject. How a woman came to be with child was never a topic of conversation, and was usually heavily avoided. She'd asked Marina once, but even her own cousin hadn't dared to explain the intricacies of it. Pen didn't know the little details, but she knew that it was a sacred act under the eyes of God. An act that, if a couple was lucky, would result in children. Other than that, she knew... nothing. And it was embarrassing to admit such a thing to the man she was to marry.

Penelope prided herself on her intellect and to confess ignorance to anything made her feel small. Even so, she knew that she wanted to experience with Ben. Ever since that night in the closet, her dreams had been plagued by thoughts of Ben' and his lip's lips on hers. She didn't know exactly where such feelings stemmed from, but she knew that she wanted to touch him. She knew that she wanted him to touch her, to kiss her and hold her close. But underneath that there was still a desperate itch to be closer, even if she didn't know what it meant.

"I confess, I don't know very much at all. I know t it requires a man and a woman, and sometimes marriage. Which seems pathetically elementary now that I speak it aloud." A nervous laugh slips past her lips and she averts her gaze, a wave of shame washing over her. How was she supposed to be a dutiful wife if she didn't even know the basics? "I assume no one ever spoke of it around me because they just figured I'd never marry. And, if the ladies of the ton speak of it, I've never heard it. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything right for you. You deserve a competent wife, at the very least. Perhaps I might borrow those books in the coming weeks?"

"I'm sure Mister Brewster won't be so eager to give us time alone again, huh?" Pen's smile widened, her eyes sparkling with mischief and joy. She, too, would require a few thousand pinches to prove this wasn't a cruel dream sequence. It had all happened so fast that she'd barely had time to stop and smell the proverbial roses, but he was right. The weeks leading up to the wedding would most likely be filled with planning and a variety of nonsensical activities for Pen, whether she wanted to partake or not. The thought of spending hours planning which flowers to place at the end of the aisle was enough to drive her mad, but knowing that Ben would be at the end of the same aisle made it less daunting.

"We're alone now." She reminds him. Just to double check her statement, she glances towards the door, confirmed it remained closed. Even if she locked the rooms, there was no promise that their privacy wouldn't be interrupted at any moment. And Pen was eager to take advantage of every second they could have before they were torn apart again. "I would offer to sneak you into my room, but... I suppose that wouldn't be deemed very appropriate either, would it?"