#ben by his name would be confusing so they always have the ff call 'thing' which is also smth i was wondering so shoutout to that reader

[fanfictiongreenirises]

the way they literally addressed all the real life hate mail sue was getting in the comic

[seriouslyhooked]

I Luv You (A CS HS AU)

Reader prompted CS High School AU oneshot where Emma and Killian are friends but Emma wants more. There’s miscommunication (Emma thinks he loves someone else), but ultimately a cute and fluffy ending. Available on FF here and AO3 here. 

A/N: Hey all! I have had quite a few of you ask for more high school AUs for Emma and Killian, and my muse rarely trends in that direction. But, after many many months of trying to find a story that worked, I stumbled across this song, ‘I Luv You’ by Sofia Carson and R3MIX. One of the lyrics has been stuck in my head on repeat, and I’ve thought of how wonderful it would be to incorporate into a CS drabble. As such, this story centers around Emma and Killian meeting in their senior year of high school. Killian is new to their school, having moved from the UK, but they’ve instantly clicked and prom season is coming up. Emma wants to go with Killian, but she’s aware that he might not be over someone else from his past, then, because I’m addicted to fluff, it all turns out to be a great big misunderstanding. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and thanks so much for reading!

Everything’s going to be fine. I can handle this. I can get over him. Maybe? Someday? Oh God.

Closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath, Emma shook away the anxious thoughts that had clung to her for weeks. She didn’t want to linger in them, but she couldn’t let them go. Everywhere she went they followed, and there seemed to be no reprieve. As a result, she was a stressed-out mess, and her ability to hide her feelings was growing weaker and weaker by the minute.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried about this, Ems,” her friend Ruby said casually from where she was perched on Emma’s kitchen countertop, eating directly out of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s chunky monkey.

Ruby’s legs dangled as she swiped the last of the ice cream from her spoon greedily. She’d downed a full carton just this afternoon, the calories and sugar rush a non-issue. Emma knew if she tried that her mother would probably have a fit, but Ruby could get away with anything in the Nolan house. Emma’s parents had adored her since Emma and Ruby’s first day of kindergarten all those years ago when Ruby announced to the class that Emma was her ‘bestest friend’ and anyone who messed with her was ‘gonna know her wrath.’ At age five Emma had no idea what that meant, but to this day her Mom and Dad adored Ruby. She was loyal and courageous, and she’d lived up to her promise, proving to be the best friend Emma could ask for.

“I’m not worried,” Emma replied, but the declaration was hollow and lacked conviction.

“You’re gonna need to work on your acting, girl,” Ruby said with a sigh and a sad headshake, as if Emma’s attempt at seeming okay was just pitiable. “But seriously, all this stressing is for nothing. Killian is totally going to ask you to prom. He’s gonna swoop in with everything but a white horse, tell you he loves you, and steal your heart.”

“Ruby,” Emma whispered, chastising her friend but without much conviction. She wanted to reprimand Ruby for her fanciful ideas, but she couldn’t form more words in the face of someone stating exactly what she dreamed of.

“And honestly, it’s about time. You’ve been dancing around each other for ages. I mean I love a good slow burn, but this is just ridiculous.”

It certainly felt like Ruby was right, but Emma knew better than to believe that. No matter how many butterflies might take flight within her every time she saw him, or how many times her thoughts drifted to the handsome boy who’d become one of her closest friends, Emma knew that the feelings in her heart were one sided. Killian was in love with someone else, a girl back where he was from who he’d known before moving here. She still had his heart, and so Emma never could. She only wished that everyone else understood, maybe then they’d stop always talking like the two of them being together was a given.

“You’re one to talk. Dee, asked you to prom literally months ago, before prom was even announced.”

“Of course she did. She’s my girlfriend. Plus, she wanted to lock me down. I’m a hot commodity, as you well know.”

Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby’s antics. Her best friend loved to talk a big game, but since meeting her girlfriend, Dorothy, last year she’d been nothing but the picture of fidelity. She was smitten as could be and very much in love, but Ruby was determined to be considered a ‘wild child’ and Dorothy, or Dee, as everyone called her, was only happy to oblige.

“Okay well new rule, happily coupled off ‘besties’ don’t get to tell the single one not to worry.”

“Ugh, fine. But only because I love you and you used the word ‘besties’ with only limited sarcasm. I’m totally wearing you down.”

Emma bit back a smile and shook her head, but she was grateful for the out Ruby provided her. It wasn’t her friend’s natural instinct to walk back her opinion, and it showed Emma how much their friendship mattered to Ruby that she’d even try to do so.

“Also, I may or may not have agreed to be part of a conspiracy meant to distract you and then guide you to an important event that I cannot actually tell you about because I swore myself to secrecy.”

“Come again?” Emma asked, totally confused even as her pulse began to beat in faster time. Secret plot? What the heck was that? And why did she feel like it involved a certain hot, charismatic, and irresistible boy she could never stop thinking about?

“Wish I could explain, but that’s the whole thing about swearing yourself to secrecy, you kind of have to mean it. Mums the word, or whatever people say.”

“Ruby, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything except for making one teeny tiny little promise.”

“And that promise was…?”

“To make sure you stayed right here until…” she glanced at the time on the stove and smiled, “Now. All right, two minutes from now, but still. You get the drift.”

“Ruby, I don’t understand.”

“Emma,” Ruby said taking Emma’s hand and squeezing it gently, “You know I would never steer you wrong, right? I can’t get into it, but let’s just say there’s a reason I’ve been promising you that everything for prom would work out.”

Emma took Ruby’s words in and did the simple math: Ruby had been telling her not to worry about Killian asking because she knew he was planning to. He had told Ruby somehow, convincing her to help him with this surprise, and Ruby had agreed. It made Emma’s heart thump loudly in her chest over and over again, but then dread crept in. He was going to ask her to prom, but it was going to be a friend asking a friend. Somehow that was worse than not being asked at all. It would mean being so close to what she wanted, but still so painfully far away.

“Killian,” Emma whispered, her lips not daring to utter more than his name as the nerves took over.

“Yes, Killian,” Ruby said with a gleam in her eye, hopping off the table and straightening out Emma’s hair and her outfit like a personal stylist with a critical eye. “Don’t worry, you look totally kick ass, and so my work here is done. He’ll be here any minute, and I think it’s best if I get out of here before he does. Wouldn’t want to stifle any moments with my ever-present wit.”

Emma stood there in shock, watching her friend grab her bag and sashay out of the kitchen. Emma heard her retreating footsteps and barely managed to all out “Wait, Ruby!” before the front door closed. Ruby was gone, having departed the scene in a haste on par with that cartoon roadrunner she used to watch as a kid.

For a moment Emma warred with herself about what to do. She wanted desperately to wait here and to let him ask her. Maybe it would be more than a friend asking a friend. Maybe something had happened with the girl back home. Maybe he was free, free to love her, to choose her, to want her back… but then again maybe her greatest worries were exactly right. Maybe the nagging voice in the back of her mind that said something so perfect could never work out was correct. Either way she panicked, choosing self-preservation over facing what may come.

Leaving everything behind, Emma snuck out the sliding back door, breaking out in a run from the porch and heading into the thick grove of trees behind her home. There was a well-worn walking path that headed deep into the woods, and Emma knew it well, well enough to veer off of it and find her way to the one place she could imagine any kind of comfort at a time like this – the meadow.

Not far from her house there was a private glen that ran along the river, out of the way of any foot traffic that may come through the bramble of these woods. Emma had found it as a child, and for some reason no one ever seemed able to find her there. She could get lost for hours in that grove, enjoying the sun and the flowers and the sound of running water coursing by. It was close to home, but felt lightyears away and in that glen she could be anything and anyone. Her imagination was free there and her cares were far away. It was her special place, the one she never shared, the one she kept so close to her heart it felt like only hers. But then, on a whim, she’d brought Killian there, and though it was scary to do that, he’d reacted in the perfect way.

“It’s otherworldly, Emma. I can understand your love for this spot. I can think of no better place that I’ve ever been before.”  

Emma held back tears as she approached this little oasis, knowing that it wouldn’t hold the answers that she wanted. Instead it would likely just remind her of Killian, and all that she wanted but that they just couldn’t have.

The closer she got, however, the more Emma realized that something was different. It was early spring, but she saw bright colors from afar. They were similar to the wildflowers that bloomed in May and June, but it was too early for them. Only when she got closer did she realize what was happening. The flowers here were real but were not wild. They were an assortment of every kind of blossom she’d ever loved and they had been placed by someone, filling the space in an attempt to recreate the most magical moments this meadow had to bring.

It dawned on her that no one would know to do this but Killian, and as she got closer Emma felt the tears brought on by his sweetness. By the time she was at the meadow’s edge, tears were streaming down her face, and she didn’t bother wiping them away as her hand came over her mouth.

There must be thousands of flowers here, and Emma had no idea how he could have possibly done this. Where would he even find so many flowers? And how could he have time? It would have taken him all day to do this, and so much longer to think of it. This was so much effort to go through for a friend, it almost made her think that she had to be wrong. He must feel the same. He must –

“I had pictured this going a little differently,” a voice said and Emma whipped around to see Killian, looking at her with a warm smile. He was genuinely glad to see her, but the bashfulness on his face was unmistakable and it made him look even more handsome. That earnest feeling mixed with seeing him dressed up, well it drove her a little wild, but she didn’t dare to move, waiting for him to approach her instead. “But I should have known you’d find your own way. You always do.”

“Why?” Emma asked, and Killian’s brow furrowed before she elaborated. “Why did you do all of this?”

“Because you deserve nothing less,” he countered, taking her hand though his blue eyes stayed locked on hers. “I did this because I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a very long time. I’ve gone back and forth about when and how. I wanted it to be right, but I couldn’t decide how. It’s just – well it’s complicated. Us being friends, it’s amazing and I’ve never had someone in my world like you, and I was afraid I’d muck it up, so I…”

He trailed off, his hand scratching behind his ear in a show of embarrassment and Emma swallowed down the hurt as best she could. She had been right. This was a prom proposal based in friendship, nothing more. He didn’t feel the same. He didn’t want her. He was just kind and good and perfect and he wanted to give her a lovely memory even if he couldn’t give her his love.

“Emma Nolan, will you -,”

Before he could get the words out Emma interrupted him, afraid that if he asked she’d break down in front of him and give herself away. This was a nightmare right now and she couldn’t bear it. “Killian… I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Before he could respond, she sprinted back towards the house, tears falling as she raced through the backwoods. Through the haze of her adrenaline, she heard him call her name, and then she felt his hand on her arm, halting her, holding her steady.

“Emma, love, I don’t understand. Have I done something? Is there…” his voice grew fraught and tense. “Is there someone else?”

“Of course there is!” she exclaimed, “But not for me. For you!”

“I don’t understand,” he replied, looking genuinely perplexed.

“Of course you don’t,” she said, a sad laugh emanating from her as she waved her hands in dismay. “I love you, Killian.”

“I love you too,” he replied immediately, and she shook her head.

“No, not as a friend. I love you. Like for real.”

“Emma, I feel the same way about you. I’ve been trying to tell you forever, but every time I tried you shut me down.”

“I had to,” she cried out. “Because you’re not over her.”

“Over who?”

“Merida.”

“Who?” he asked, sounding completely unaware of the name of the girl he loved.

“You know, the girl Liam’s always reminding you about.”

At the mention of the name Killian still looked confused and then he laughed. Wait, he’s laughing? Why is he laughing? This is serious! Before she could get angry though he pulled her to him, distracting her with his nearness as the sound of his voice washed over her.

“God I could kill my brother for this, but I haven’t got the time. Emma, ‘Merida’ is not some long-lost love I’m pining away for. She’s a seventy-six-year-old Scottish woman who used to be our neighbor.”

“Oh.” What else was there to say? Clearly she’d been an idiot.

“The only girl I’ve ever pined for has golden hair, jade colored eyes, and a bit of a temper.”

“Hey, I don’t -,” Killian interrupted her with a kiss she never saw coming, but that Emma immediately melted into. How could she fight with someone when they could do this instead? God it was perfect, everything she’d ever dreamed of, and even more he loved her! He’d said he loved her right? Oh please let her have heard that right. She waited when they broke apart, hoping he’d reiterate the words she’d always craved.

“She’s also brilliant and beautiful and bold. She’s kind and honest, fair and good. She’s always looking out for the people who she loves, and by God when she smiles at me, it’s like heaven itself made just for me.”

Emma looked at his face, searching for any trace of deceit, but there was none. He was pouring his heart out to her and laying it all on the line. It was just what she’d always wanted.

“I love you, Emma. I knew I would from the moment that we met. It’s you Emma. The girl I can’t get over is you, and I have no plans of ever trying. You’re it for me. I know we’re young, but I don’t care because -,”

This time it was her turn to pull him for a kiss, and she couldn’t help herself. After months of wanting him, he was finally hers, or maybe he had been all along. It felt so good to finally have this, to know that the dream she’d been waiting for was even better than her imagination could fathom, and only when they broke apart did she realize what this meant.

“Oh my God I messed everything up,” she said, hiding her face in his neck in embarrassment. “You tried to ask me to prom in the most romantic way and I ruined it.”

“I wasn’t planning to ask you to prom, Emma.”

“You weren’t?”

“No, love I was asking you to be mine, just as I’m yours. But as for ruining things, surely you must know you never could,” he said, his fingers running through her hair as he gazed at her adoringly. “You’ve made this the best day I’ve ever known. You told me you loved me. You let down the last bit of wall that was separating us. Everything’s been said now. There’s no secrets, no more doubts. You know my heart and I know yours. I couldn’t ask for more. And as for prom, if you want to go then we’ll go. I want to be wherever you are, Emma. For me it’s just that simple.”

“I want that too,” Emma said, kissing him again and feeling the lightness and joy that came with love that was reciprocal and true. After all the heart ache, they were together, and Emma knew their love would be forever. No matter what may come, or where they went from here, they were just meant to be. Always had been, always would be.

And though they spent the next few hours surrounding themselves in their newly found bliss, they eventually concurred that prom was a must. After all, Ruby would kill her if she didn’t go, and with Killian by her side it was bound to be a night she’d always remember and never forget.  

…………….

You the type of guy to write a song about You're laid back, nobody know what's on your mind We been talking for a while now (We been talking for a while now) And I been falling for a while now You say that everything with you is fine Even though we're always hanging out I get the feeling that you're not around, yeah

We were always up to something Now you're all in your head

I love you But I wish it wasn't true 'Cause I know you think of her When I'm lying next to you I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you

You the type of guy to tell your mom about You're laid back, but running circles round my mind I been falling for a while now (I been falling, I been falling, I been falling) But you been lying for a while now You say that everything with you is fine Even though we're always hanging out I get the feeling that you're not around, yeah

We were always up to something Now you're all in your head

I love you But I wish it wasn't true 'Cause I know you think of her When I'm lying next to you I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you (I can't get over you)

I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you

Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope you guys have enjoyed this little drabble, and to my lovely readers who always ask me for more bisexual Ruby representation, I had you guys in mind with this one too. I know it’s a very short feature, and I am usually very committed to the Ruby/Graham pairing, but I’m happy to share the love for everyone that I can. I wish the show had developed a lot of these characters and relationships more, but hey, there’s always fanfic! Anyway, thank you all for reading and hope you have a great weekend!  

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189

[realasunicorns]

"Give me a character and I will answer"

@callmehername asked me about Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.

(My answers to the other characters are here)

Why I like them

It is hard to talk about this character when I know so little about him, since he's very new compared to all the others. So be kind if I make assumptions bc it's mostly what we can do for now, I think. For me at least, to take what we canonically know about him for sure doesn't leave much to choose, so I'm doing my own thing a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Having said this:

Basically, I like him bc he's complex. He's conflicted, but that's something we've seen before. He's also unstable tho. Really unstable.

But I also like him because I feel like I have a hard time reading him. Like, we know he's unstable, but... Are his actions those of a conflicted (and traumatized and probably brainwashed) child grown up? Or not really? I mostly get the feeling he could be very determined and manipulative under that confused look. That he knows exactly what he's doing even if he looks like a mess with temper tantrums. That he's conflicted and he knows people know that, so he uses that as a disguise, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Or maybe it isn't that at all. Maybe he's THAT misguided. I guess we'll have to wait for Episode IX to find out more, but for now I like that he keeps me guessing.

Then there is also the fact that troughout the Episodes, we are repeatedly told by the Jedi that one must resist the Dark Side. It is easy to fall and once you do, it forever will dominate your destiny. And I think it's fascinating how Kylo is permanently fighting to stay in it. For someone to show such a struggle with the Dark Side, it could mean an increadibly strong alignment to the Light and/or that he was pushed into the darkness by someone without his consent (hello Snoke) probably by means of an idea in his mind. An idea that was wrong all along: what Vader was supposed to be like. What he was supposed to be too. So he's holding onto the darkness on sheer determination to be that. (Which I find to be very ironic bc if you read my opinion on Anakin I always thought he was conflicted all along, Vader as well. Maybe not just like Ben, but he wasn't like Sheev, that kind of pure evil that Ben seems to think he was.)

To me it all goes down to: would he struggle as much to stay in the Light as he struggles to be in the Dark? How much of it was Snoke's doing? Walking the fine line between the Light and the Dark would make him even more interesting as a character. And it also brings something into the table that I've been waiting for many, many years: actual force balance/the Grey/etc.

So, essentially, what I love the most about his character is all the possibilities he brings to the table and the fact that he's not just a villian, not just a [insert other classic character tropes here].

(I could say the same about Rey in a way, since they are two sides of the same coin. But also not quite the same. And also I'm not here to talk about Rey haha)

Why I don’t

To me it makes no sense his name is Ben unless there's something I missed. I'm still waiting for an explanation that makes it fitting.

(oh and also he's supposed to be 29 and he doesn't feel like it to me? and sometimes I feel confused? lol idk how to explain it bc I don't really know what bugs me, but something feels off 🤷🏻‍♀️ but that's about it, no big deal at all haha)

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Easy. When he kills Snoke in The Last Jedi. More like, how he does it. I'm a huge fan of the whole deception he plays on him.

And let me say I think he might have had it planned all along when he took that look at the guards while being in the room that time before 👀

Favorite season/movie

IDK AAAAH

Maybe it's the one to come?

No, seriously. I really don't know. I have no preference atm.

If I must choose based on him aesthetically tho, then I'm choosing The Force Awakens! TFA hair AAAAALL THE WAY:

GIF source*

Favorite line

"Forgive me. I feel it again... The pull to the Light."

I just love it.

Favorite outfit

I believe he's only had one?

GIF source*

One very much on point tho👌🏻

OTP

I don't ship him romantically atm 🤔

BROTP

OMG ALSO NO BROTPs?! I JUST DON'T SHIP HIM AT ALL. I REALLY BOUGHT THE SPACE EMO KID THING HE'S SELLING 🤣

Head Canon

He understands Wookie like it's his mother tongue.

He and Chewie used to play when he was a kid. It was like having a huge (and alive) teddy bear friend to play with. They would do mechanics together and later some piloting maybe?

💔

(OK, MAYBE I WANTED HIM AND CHEWIE AS BROTP BUT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE ANYMORE, HE KILLED HAN FFS AAAAHHH😭😭😭)

Unpopular opinion

The anti's are not morally superior, they are just haters and bullies.

First of all, acting as if Kylo Ren was the devil is non-sense in GFFA. He's not that bad if you compared to so many others lol He's no saint, but why would he have to be? And even if it was denying someone a redemption before he can even claim it or whatever is really, really shitty. So there's no hope then for people to improve? Shouldn't they be encouraged to get better specially if they have been wrong and hurt others? Not discouraged? What kind of shit is that.

And second, shipping him with Rey or whoever is fine even if it was unhealthy. I have seen a million unhealthy ships (some in GFFA too) and no one ever made a big deal because it is no big deal. And this one should be no different. You just want an excuse to hate. Besides, many shippers actually ship them in AUs. So it's not necessarily an unhealthy ship. But in case it was, it's none of your business. And certainly no one deserves the shitty treatment these people give to the shippers. And on top of all of that, I find disgusting that they use something as detrimental as abusive relationships as an excuse to be bullying other fans. WHICH IS ABUSIVE TOO, HELLO. To use your (supposedly) superior morals as the reason to be rightfully allowed to discriminate others is by definition abusive behaviour. And this is real life, not some fictional character's. Really, really ugly shit smh

#RANTOVER.

A wish

I hope they don't play the classic redemption arc and stick to the simple usual light vs. darkness thing. Give something more complex, something good, something different. GIVE SOMETHING INSPIRING.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

I don't think Reylo is a good idea in canon, like, there being romantically involvement in the movie.

Not bc of the relationship itself. Although I would prefer none of it, I don't know what they are planning and I don't think I know better than the creators, so it could probably be done right in some way if that's really the plan. And who knows, maybe I would enjoy it(?) Butr my taste, the balance of the force should be the plot and I feel this, even as a sub-plot, would overshadow it. So it's a no for me atm.

Also imagine all the haters backlash if it happened... Look, idk if I have enough patience for another TLJ 😱

(SEE? HATERS ARE WHY THERE IS NO FREEDOM OF WRITING ANYMOREok I try to chill nowBUT SERIOUSLY STOP THE FLAME WARSi want an overall happy fandom why can't we have it)

5 words to best describe them

Lonely. Misunderstood. Overpowered. Unstable. Capable.

My nickname for them

Kylo is fine haha I don't think I ever call him Ben (by now you know I don't much like him being called that)

I fail at the nickname thing, I really have no nicknames for any of them! Ok maybe space emo prince 👀 😂

GIF source*

And this is it!

Unicorn Kisses!🦄

–

*Excuse the not-so-great cites of GIF sources BLAME THE TUMBLR APP, I’ll change them once I have a computer... some day. There's also the fact that some source didn't exist(?) so I linked what I could find.

[dorkforty]

Art by Tom Kelly: https://tomkellyart.deviantart.com/gallery/

So it’s been a while since we did any Fantastic Four Re-Mix. A full year, in fact. What can I say? I hit a snag in the plot and let myself get tripped up on it. And I’ve always felt just slightly silly doing these things, anyway, so it seemed better to just wander off. But I re-read the earlier chapters recently, and realized that I liked them quite a bit. That lead me back in, and I had enough story left to tell that I decided to unsnarl my plot and keep going.

(And then, of course, they announced this week that they’re finally launching a new Fantastic Four book this summer. So I figured that, if I was going to finish this thing, I needed to go ahead and do it.)

But like I said… It’s been a while. So I suppose some explanations are in order. If this is your first time encountering the Fantastic Four Remix, for instance, I’m sure you have some questions…

WHAT IS IT? A far-more-complicated-than-I-imagined working-through of some ideas I had to relaunch the Fantastic Four from scratch, in the present-day.

WHY WOULD ANYONE DO SUCH A THING? Because I love the Fantastic Four. And since there hasn’t been an FF book in a while, I figured I might as well fill the gap.

WHY NOT JUST WRITE STORIES THEN, YOU FREAK? Because I had a lot of ground I wanted to cover, and wasn’t willing to devote that much time to writing characters I don’t own without getting paid for it. I love my readers, but I don’t love them THAT much.

IF YOU REALLY LOVED US, YOU’D WRITE MORE FUNNYBOOK REVIEWS! Piss off! I’m just having fun here, okay?! Gahd! Get off my back!

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. SO WHERE COULD I READ THE REST OF THIS NONSENSE? IF I WAS INTERESTED? WHICH I’M NOT. Nope. Sorry. Not gonna tell ya. You were rude.

OH FOR GOD’S SAKE! I’M SORRY, OKAY? I’D REALLY LIKE TO READ THEM. IF ONLY TO SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE. Well… Okay. Previous chapters of the FF Remix can be found here:

https://dorkforty.wordpress.com/tag/fantastic-four-remix/

ALRIGHT, THEN! Alright!

Ahem. Sorry about that. These new readers can be SO touchy. For the rest of you, though…

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE: Oh, lots of stuff. I am nothing if not a complicated plotter. To really steep yourself in all the various details, you’d have to go back and read the whole thing. I’ll try to fill in background where I can, but here’s a rough overall picture to get you started:

Reed Richards put together a team for a mission to explore the Negative Zone: Ben Grimm (pilot)! Johnny Storm (mechanic)! Susan Storm (the journalist who tells their story to the world)! But upon arrival, they collided with an alien artifact and were bombarded with THE POWER COSMIC! This gave them their familiar powers as the Fantastic Four. They uncover a SECRET INVASION plot by the shape-shifting alien SKRULL, which is an on-going subplot. Reed’s friendly rival VICTOR VON DOOM hires the team to test his experimental TIME PLATFORM, and in the process, Ben becomes Blackbeard (dubbed THINGBEARD by Johnny)…

…an incident that’s still echoing through the story now. Doom is a continuing character in the Re-Mix, a villainous foil to the team, ala John Bryne’s Lex Luthor. He has an on-going scheme to wrest control of Latveria from the tyrannical regime that killed his gypsy family, and a growing suspicion that the FF represent a dangerous threat to mankind that must be eliminated. Likewise, PRINCE NAMOR the SUBMARINER is a continuing character, a noble-but-arrogant anti-hero type who has until recently been romancing Sue. As in the original story, he was discovered as a wandering amnesiac, who’d been missing since the end of World War II. But he’s since found lost Atlantis, saved it from the barbarian Attuma, and been rejected as their monarch (they adopted democracy in his absence). He’s currently serving as Atlantis’ ambassador to the UN, and is romantically entangled with the Lady Dorma.

Re-Mix Dorma is the former consort of Attuma, a fierce barbarian woman tossed aside in favor of “soft Atlantean women” when Attuma conquered Atlantis. She helped Namor defeat him, and has since been wrapped up in a quadrangle of sorts with Reed, Sue, and Namor (weird romance having become an unexpected theme of the Re-Mix). That’s all ended recently, and Reed and Sue are finally starting to look like they might get together after all (though throwing roadblocks in front of that inevitable relationship has been perversely pleasing, and I’m not quite done doing it yet).

But, Dorma. I’ve been struggling to find a decent image that matched the slightly unearthly look I wanted for her (and the Atlanteans in general), but here’s a Photoshop job I stumbled across recently that does a fair job of it. I couldn’t find reference to the artist, unfortunately. But the eyes are really striking, I think:

At any rate.

In recent issues, the Thing was captured by THE INHUMANS, who want to put him on trial for the murder of a crew of Inhuman scouts back during the THINGBEARD INCIDENT. That murder didn’t happen, however, so the rest of the team freed him, causing incredible strife within the Inhuman ruling class in the process, and then escaped from the SECRET CITY OF ATILLAN with the queen’s little sister CRYSTAL in tow. They were pursued by KARNAK and GORGON, but then there was a whole huge incident with the newly-awakened FIN FANG FOOM, and everybody teamed up to deal with it. In the aftermath, Karnak shook Ben’s hand… AND SPLIT HIM IN HALF WITH THE DEADLY ONE-INCH PUNCH! Quickly teleporting out with the aid of Lockjaw, Karnak informed the team that they were welcome to offer up a defense of Ben at his trial, in one week’s time. And that’s where we pick the story up now…

ARC FOURTEEN: THE TRIAL OF THE THING!

This will be a two-pronged arc, with one side giving a more realistic picture of Inhuman society as Crystal and Johnny return to Attilan to prepare for Ben’s trial, and the other following Reed and Sue as they search for evidence of what happened to the Inhuman scouts. But first…

PART ONE: INTERLUDE

After the all-out action of the last story arc, we take an issue to catch up with the supporting cast and our various subplots:

When last we saw Frankie Raye (Johnny Storm’s girlfriend/rival on the outlaw racing circuit)…

…she’d had a drunken make-out session with rival driver Tura. Frankie broke it off before things got too heavy, but she’s still a little shaken up by it. For one thing, she’s surprised at herself for showing such loyalty to Johnny. I mean, they’re just havin’ some fun, right? RIGHT? Hurm. Heading to the garage the next morning, she hopes to commiserate with her BFF/mechanic Wyatt Wingfoot, but instead walks in on him in the aftermath of a night of passion with Jean-Paul Valley, driver for the Northern Lights racing team (who, in another world, is the mutant super hero Northstar). This is primarily a comedic scene, but Frankie’s confusion and frustration plays off Johnny’s increasing infatuation with Crystal, setting up the inevitable triangle.

Meanwhile, Namor sponsors the Latverian rebels in their bid to be recognized by the UN. It’s a controversial choice, considering Namor’s attack on the country’s legal government alongside Latverian expatriate Dr. Doom. But Namor handles the situation with an uncharacteristic elegance, explaining that his attack is what first brought the rebels’ plight to his attention. “My actions were misguided, based on poor intelligence about a Latverian attack on Atlantis. But the Hammerfell government is tyrannical nonetheless. And just as we in Atlantis have learned to embrace democracy, I believe that the Latverian people deserve the same chance.”

Alicia Masters (blind sculptress, lady friend of the Thing, and possible Skrull) gets a visit from her father Phillip (aka the Puppet Master, a famous stage puppeteer, and a secret Skrull agent).

As he promised he would, Phillip asks Alicia if she’d have a word with the FF about making a public appearance with Gabriel (charismatic evangelist and anti-Skrull activist). Alicia looks suspicious (“Dad, what are you up to?!”), but he assures her it’s all on the up and up. “Nobody wants the Skrull off Earth more than me, honey. You know that.” The two of them exchange a meaningful look, but Alicia remains ill at ease.

Of course, WE know that Masters only met with Gabriel to give his psychoactive clay time to bond, so that he could make a puppet of the man, under orders from the Skrull high command. But Alicia evidently does not. How much she knows or doesn’t know is – hopefully – the subject of much reader speculation at this point.

We also get back to the mysterious Men in Black (who’ve been going around asking questions about the FF for purposes unknown). Somewhere in the American Midwest, the dark-haired Man in Black (the one who seems to disapprove of the team) approaches a tidy home in a small town. The name on the mailbox reads “Grimm.” A sturdily-built elderly woman answers the door. Tall, with steel-gray hair, she’s a handsome woman in spite of her age (think Big Barda as somebody’s grandma). She’s wearing a leather workman’s apron, with a pair of leather gloves tucked into the waist and a pair of safety goggles resting on her head. “Miss Petunia Grimm? I’d like to ask you some questions about your nephew…”

CUT back to Namor, relaxing in his chambers with Dorma after his speech. He expresses distaste with it. “Embracing Democracy,” it seems, is not really something he’s very interested in. Dorma (ever conniving) soothes him, reassuring him that the deception, though necessary for diplomacy, will only be temporary. “If Doom can really deliver on his promises, darling, you’ll be back on the throne again soon. And then you need never worry about lying again.” They kiss, but their embrace is interrupted by a call from Hong Kong. Namor’s annoyance turns to shock, however, when hears a voice he never thought he’d hear again: his cousin Namora, ruler of the Atlantean splinter city of Pacifica, and protector of the Pacific Rim!

(She was introduced in the Fin Fang Foom arc, but that’s wwaaayy too complicated to explain here.)

The issue closes on Dr. Doom, watching news coverage of Namor’s UN speech from multiple different international sources, to gauge world-wide reaction to his scheme. His phone rings (though a phone seems like an awfully prosaic device for Doom to be using – maybe it’s some kind of cell access built into his mask?). It’s his lawyers, telling him that his strategy for dealing with the charges against him for his part in Namor’s attack on Latveria (long story) has worked. There are a few details left to clean up, but it looks like he’ll walk away clean. Pleased, Doom turns to a computer screen and opens a document labeled “Time Drone Analytics: Latverian Overthrow Stage Two.” His reverie is interrupted, however, by an unexpected visit from Reed Richards and Susan Storm!

REED: “We need your Time Platform, Victor! Lives may depend on it!”

TO BE CONTINUED!!

TWO: HOMECOMING

This issue deals with Crystal and Johnny, returning to Attilan to prepare for the trial. Its events take place over the course of a week, as they get things in order and await Reed and Sue’s return, hopefully with evidence that will clear the Thing.

It’s an awkward homecoming for Crystal; when she fled the city with the FF, she flouted generations of cultural tradition, and abandoned her duty to Inhuman society, as well (she was betrothed to Triton, Lord of the Undersea, and Black Bolt’s only equal). If it weren’t for Karnak’s judgment of her moral superiority in the Fin Fang Foom incident, she might be tossed in a cell upon her return. But Karnak’s word holds much sway, and so she is tolerated, if not welcomed back with open arms. Her sister Medusa, in particular, treats her coldly.

Visual Note: I haven’t found many Inhumans redesigns I liked all that much, but here’s a Crystal design I stumbled across that I do like. It’s alien, but still attractive, and the pose gives her a bit more fire to boot:

It’s through these various conflicts that we gain a more balanced view of Inhuman society. Black Bolt is far from the tyrant he seemed in the first Inhumans arc. He actually rules wisely and justly, and is beloved by his people. Gorgon is revealed as a melancholy poet, rather than the brute he pretended to be in pursuit of the FF. And Karnak… His final attack on the Thing has filled him with guilt and (worse for a man of his station and abilities) doubt. He spends every minute in deep meditation, emerging only to tend Ben’s wounds.

Ben, for his part, is doing as well as can be expected. After the attack, he’s undergone a shocking physical change: his rocky outer shell having been split in half by Karnak, his body shed it like a crushed fingernail, revealing a soft “nail bed” beneath. His exposed flesh is reddish-orange and very sensitive to touch. Inhuman medicine has helped as much as possible, but he’s still obviously quite uncomfortable. He faces it with a surprising humor, however, and little of the self-pity that’s haunted him since his transformation. Over the course of the week, he endears himself to many in Attilan, and eventually confesses to Johnny that he feels comfortable there. “For once, I’m not the ugliest guy in the room.”

Part of Ben’s change stems from the time he spends with Karnak. He applies healing unguents to Ben’s sensitive flesh, his abilities allowing him to apply the medications with only the slightest discomfort. But he also teaches Ben some of his meditative techniques, teaching him how to mentally overcome the pain, and in the process, helps him find peace within himself. (Note: this is a good opportunity for some cool trippy visuals. Specifically, some of Ben’s meditations could be built around the patterns of the Thing’s rocky hide.)

Meanwhile, Medusa, Crystal, and Johnny travel with Lockjaw to contact and gather witnesses. Black Bolt (speaking, as always, through Medusa) places a strict limit on the number of outsiders allowed into Attilan, however, and vetoes any of Ben’s military buddies, arguing that agents of human governments would be beholden to reveal Attilan’s existence to their superiors. That leaves them with three options: Alicia Masters, Ben Baxter (builder/owner of the Baxter Building, and mentor to Reed), and (gathered at Ben’s suggestion) his Aunt Petunia. Alicia and Petunia come immediately, with the others agreeing to testify on the day of the trial.

We see Johnny and Crystal grow closer through all of this. His attraction is obvious, and he makes her laugh in a situation that’s otherwise very difficult for her. Triton (to whom Crystal is still technically betrothed) stands between them, making Johnny reluctant to act on his feelings. But Triton hasn’t been seen in the upper city since the confrontation in Black Bolt’s throne room, and Crystal hasn’t attempted to contact him. Her desire for freedom has only intensified since her Terrigenesis, her emotions coming more and more to mirror the tempestuousness of her elemental powers. Eventually, as the week is winding down, she makes the first move. They kiss… And are interrupted by Medusa.

In a cold fury, she informs them that, even though Reed and Sue have not returned, the trial will go on as scheduled. And Crystal has been assigned to speak for the defense.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

THREE: PLUNDER

So where the hell are Reed and Sue? The next two issues answer that question.

We open with the two of them, and Dr. Doom, preparing for a jaunt into THINGBEARD TIMES to discover the fate of the Inhuman pirates Ben is accused of murdering. They’re dressed in clothing appropriate to the era, with Doom in his more subdued “Phantom of the Opera” style mask (Re-Mix Doom has several different costume variations to suit various social situations), and a few subtle accouterments that function like his full armor, but at only a fraction of the full suit’s power level.

(I’m told these are props from one of the bad FF movies, but they give you the general idea.)

He’s also improved his Time Platform since the last time we saw it, moving on from the prototype to something more streamlined and easier to control. He’s agreed to let them use it, but only on the condition that he himself goes with them, to ensure that they do nothing to alter history… “this time.”

(In flashback, we see how Reed and Sue got from Hong Kong to New York so quickly: they hitched a ride with Aged Genghis, who transported them magically back to the Baxter Building. When they thank him for his aid, he just smiles a vacant smile and says, “Anything for Wise Grimm.” Then he disappears in a puff of smoke.)

And so they’re off! Reed has brought along a sensor device that he’s attuned to detect Terrigen energies, which he hopes to use to find the Inhuman ship and its cargo. But first, they need some idea of where to start looking. That trail begins with the historical Blackbeard, Edward Teach (who capitalized on the fear surrounding the Thingbeard Incident to take the name for himself). Teach has no idea where the Inhuman crew is, but he gives them the name of another pirate who might: Lord Plunder, who’s most likely to be found across the Atlantic along the Gold Coast of Africa.

(Plunder is, of course, a long-standing Marvel name. If you want to assume this guy’s an ancestor of Ka-Zar, I’m not gonna stop you.)

They find Plunder freshly-returned from a trip to the Savage Land, selling live velociraptors to the highest bidder. They attend the auction, hoping to use it as an in to get information out of Plunder. Reed places bids (much to Doom’s chagrin – that could alter history, after all). But luckily, he’s outbid by… THE BLACK PANTHER! This is our first glimpse of the Panther, an ancestor of the modern-day T’Challa (who we’ll see in a later arc). He uses the raptors to destroy a slave port and free some captured Wakandans. Our Heroes get swept up in that action, aiding the Panther, but being helpless to stop the carnage he unleashes in the attack. Once that’s resolved, Plunder tells them what he knows. He has done business with the Inhuman crew in the past, but last he knew, they were heading round the Cape of Good Hope and back up toward Singapore.

An aside: Among Plunder’s crew is a Savage Land native who bears a striking resemblance to Reed’s mother. Reed (who spent time in the Savage Land when his parents took him there as a child) speaks to her in her own language, asking about her heritage. She tells him that her grandparents came to the Savage Land mysteriously one day, and disappeared just as mysteriously when she was a child. And Reed, she says, looks a lot like her grandfather… (TO BE CONTINUED!!)

(Note: Other Marvel Comics pirates who could be in Plunder’s crew: Patience Drew (aka the Queen of Spiders) Jebediah Fate (an immortal) Long John McGurk (a stranded space alien) Raza Longknife (another stranded alien, posing as a Pacific Islander) Jim Spliny, Black Mike, Maura Hawke, Slug McCarthy, Fredric Falkon, Heinrich Von Grubb

Most of these would just be easter eggs, names assigned to various background characters. But since I crawled down an interweb rabbit hole to get them, I thought I should share.)

FOUR: SHIPWRECKED

Plunder’s information leads Our Heroes to the South Pacific, and the Terrigen detector leads them to the future Monster Island, where they find the Inhuman ship run aground. There’s no sign of life, or of the ship’s Terrigen cargo.

Reed, Sue, and Doom split up to search the island for clues. Reed heads immediately to the volcano at the island’s center, and confirms his suspicions: the Terrigen has already been dumped inside. Searching for the cave the team found in the last storyline, he also finds the dormant Fin Fang Foom slumbering in peace, the Terrigen’s mutagenic effects not yet birthing monsters from his flesh.

Doom, meanwhile, finds a survivor of the shipwreck in the jungle. He’s just finished covering up a mass grave, in which he’s buried the bodies of his fellow crewmen. Delirious and half-crazed, he tells Doom the story of how the ship came to be there. They were caught up in a vicious storm, the worst any of them had ever seen. Conditions were so bad that communications with Attilan became impossible, and they feared they might be lost at sea. Struggling to keep afloat, they were then set upon by an armored warrior who came out of the storm itself and slaughtered everyone. This lone survivor lived only because he was pulled overboard during the attack, and brought to the island. He was delirious through much of the experience, but he claims that his benefactor was the man who helped them retrieve the Terrigen cargo in America: Benjamin J. Grimm, the man they dubbed Blackbeard!

Because, again, I can’t post this picture enough.

Elsewhere, Sue explores the wreck of the ship. Using her ability to make other things invisible, she looks around for secret compartments, or even just things they might have overlooked on their quick initial search. After poking around a bit, she finds the ship’s log tucked away in the captain’s quarters. It confirms the FF’s departure (Reed coming off far worse than Ben), then reveals the same story just told to Doom, but (crucially) ending before the arrival of the armored warrior. She finds a knapsack among the captain’s gear, puts the book in it, and is about to leave, but stops when she hears something. Turning toward what appears to be an ordinary part of the ship’s hull, she reaches out to make it invisible. We don’t see what’s inside, but she gasps as we…

CUT to the jungle, where Doom pumps the pirate for more information. But, exhausted from his exertions and nearly dead from exposure, he instead collapses into Doom’s arms. Doom lowers him to the ground and, holding him in a soothing manner, calmly snaps the pirate’s neck.

CUT back to Sue as she exits the ship, carrying the knapsack, but nothing else. She seems pensive, but none the worse for wear. Reed’s arriving on the beach at the same time, and, brandishing the bag, Sue tells him that she thinks she’s found what they need to clear Ben. Doom, however, is nowhere to be found.

CUT to Doom, emerging from the Time Platform back in his Time Lab in the present. Stepping calmly to a computer console, he begins reviewing records of previous time jaunts, revealing that he was the one who killed the Inhuman crew! He was positive, in fact, that he’d gotten them all. But his review of the tapes reveals something he’d missed in the heat of the battle: a scaly orange hand pulling one cowering pirate overboard, and away from Doom’s wrath.

“Grimm,” he says. “Obviously more resourceful than I gave him credit for.”

He pauses, thinking. Weighing his options. Then he goes over to the Time Platform control panel, and cuts the tether to Reed and Sue.

CUT to the two of them on the beach, at the exact moment we last saw them. Suddenly, they’re ripped out of spacetime, screaming in a psychedelic void.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

FIVE: MADNESS

A Few Words on Inhuman Justice: In a society that regularly spawns psychics and empaths, it strikes me that trials would work a bit differently. The truth of any testimony could be determined on the spot. But because memory is faulty, truth is relative. Two different people can testify to the same events, tell different stories, and both be truthful according to how they remember things happening. So the Inhumans depend on something I’m calling “Psychic Forensics.” A jury of psychic sensitives listens to testimony from as large a pool of witnesses as possible, and collates all the various stories into one narrative that’s then accepted as truth. Hard evidence trumps this, of course, and the arguments of the prosecution and defense can help shape these narratives, as well. But in a case like Ben’s, where there is no hard evidence due to the great length of time that’s passed, testimonial truth is enough to convict.

That would seem to make this a simple matter, then. Both Ben and Johnny were there when Reed forcibly removed Ben from the Inhuman ship, when the crew was still very much alive. But things are more complicated than they appear…

(Storytelling Note: We get varying degrees of detail on all testimony, seeing it filtered through the lens of the psychic jury. This allows for some trippy visuals (always a good thing), but also for us to avoid going into too much detail about things the reader already knows. So it’s conveyed through snippets of dialogue, flashback, and warped, hazy remembrances shaded by each speaker’s own perspective.)

The trial begins at dawn. Black Bolt serves as judge, with Medusa as prosecutor, and Crystal on defense. Karnak sits at the head of the jury, vigilant for flaws in their understanding of events. The prosecution goes first, establishing their case against the accused, leaving the defense to argue against once the case has been laid out.

Medusa opens by calling Ben and Johnny to the stand. They testify to their leaving the ship, and are found to be telling the truth. But Medusa seems unperturbed, and presses on to establish Ben’s history of violence, arguing that he is not always in his right mind, or in complete control of his own actions.

Petunia fills in some childhood background on Ben. She raised him from around age 10, when his parents were killed in a car accident. Young Ben struggled with depression and anger throughout his adolescence, constantly getting into fights and becoming increasingly aggressive before finally finding an outlet for it in football. Johnny and Bob Baxter pick up the narrative with the Breach Craft team, and Ben’s history as The Thing, with Medusa emphasizing his erratic behavior throughout.

She finishes this line of questioning with Ben’s most recent rampage, when he was (unknown to anyone) under the control of the Puppet Master. Ben himself testifies to that incident, and his memory of it is fractured and hazy. He remembers only parts of it, and in those memories he’s like a spectator to his own actions, watching impassively while his body does things of its own accord.

We give special focus to Karnak during this testimony. Something is troubling him, but he’s not quite sure what. Everyone else, though, is shaken. The team’s been buffeted from adventure to adventure so much since this last rampage that none of them have taken time to really think about it. But when it’s laid out like this… There’s clearly something wrong with him. Even Ben himself starts to wonder if he’s too unstable to be allowed to roam free.

Her argument having been rather convincingly made, Medusa then closes the first day of the trial by lowering the boom: her ally Victor Von Doom (who, like Reed and Sue, is unavailable for testimony) has given her Time Drone video footage, which she shows to the court. It mirrors that of the footage we saw at the end of last issue, with the Inhuman ship in the midst of a terrible storm. But instead of Doom slaughtering the crew, it’s Ben!

This, Medusa argues, is incontrovertible proof. Not that Ben killed their scouts during the Thingbeard Incident, but that he WILL do so, in some future time jaunt rampage that’s yet to happen. The question before the court, then, is not one of guilt or innocence. It’s whether they will execute him for crimes he has yet to commit, or prevent him from committing them in the first place, by simply imprisoning him in Attilan… forever!

SIX: REVELATIONS

We pick up the night after Medusa’s devastating prosecution argument. The first day of the trial has ended with things not looking good for Ben. Alicia tries to comfort him, but he’s fallen into despair. He no longer trusts his own sanity, and tells her to leave. “I might hurt ya, baby, and not even know it. So scram. Get outta here. Go back to New York and forget you ever knew me.” But she’s not having any of it. She knew the risk when she started dating him, and honestly kind of likes it. “So you don’t get to push me away, you big orange bastard. Not over this.”

CUT to Crystal’s chambers. Medusa comes for a visit, and they have it out over Crystal’s abandonment of her duty to Attilan (and Triton) over what Medusa calls “lust for a pretty young human boy.” Crystal bristles at that (visual note: her elemental powers flare up around her dramatically when she gets mad), but ultimately Medusa’s concern is well-intended. She doesn’t want to see her sister become an outcast because of a youthful indiscretion. They part on better terms, but Crystal is left confused and upset. She doesn’t want to marry Triton, but should she really throw her lot in with a bunch of outsiders because of that? She worries about her sympathies in her upcoming defense, as we…

CUT to Karnak, deep in meditation once again, replaying Ben’s testimony in his head with the aid of an elderly Inhuman named RANDAC the ORACLE, an experienced and highly-skilled psychic. Karnak doesn’t believe that Ben was lying, but he noticed something, and its exact nature escaped him. But now, with Randac’s aid, he spots it: a flash of something, just as Ben is talking about blacking out in advance of his last rampage.

Visual note: the “flash” could be expressed as a very narrow panel, showing a sliver of whatever it is he gets the impression of, but not enough to identify it. They continue working to uncover it, through the night and all the way until…

DAWN! Though Karnak has sent word that he is unable to serve with the jury, the trial continues, and Crystal begins her defense. She starts by casting doubt on Doom’s video. Johnny testifies to the bad intelligence Doom gave Namor (which caused Namor’s ill-advised attack on Latveria), and Baxter reveals Doom’s threat to “deal with” the FF if he ever deemed them too dangerous to live. “Without this man here to submit to questioning, the truth of his work can’t be confirmed! So can we really condemn Benjamin Grimm to death for a crime that even the prosecution admits he has not yet committed?”

CUT to Karnak, zeroing in, the narrow flash panel getting wider… wider… but still not wide enough.

BACK to the courtroom! Crystal cites Ben’s many acts of heroism, and explains the torment his transformation has caused him (something the Inhumans, whose entire culture is built around such transformations, don’t really understand at all). Johnny and Bob Baxter act as character witnesses, guided now to discuss Ben’s positive qualities. They admit to Ben’s instability, but stress the great good he’s done, and can still do. This terrible future – if that video does, indeed, show the future – can still be averted with the support of friends and advisors, and a woman who loves him.

That’s Alicia’s cue to take the stand, and she gives eloquent testimony to Ben’s heroic soul. Even Medusa seems moved by it. In the background, we see an Inhuman court official conducting a genetic scan on her (as he’s done for every other witness), looking first puzzled, and eventually alarmed. Just as she finishes her speech, the Gene Lord leaps to his feet, and makes a shocking proclamation: “THIS WOMAN IS A SKRULL!”

CUT to Karnak. Finally, something clicks, and the flash panel stands fully revealed: it’s Alicia’s first statue of Ben!

BACK to the courtroom! Alicia tells her story. Sent to Earth as a far advance scout decades ago, Phillip Masters (the Puppet Master) settled, married a human woman, and gave birth to a daughter: Alicia herself. Her parents kept her father’s true nature from her until she hit puberty, when her Skrull genes began to manifest. Full shape-shifting isn’t possible for her, but she can slightly alter her form by shifting mass from one part of her body to another. It’s useful for retrieving things she’s dropped into tight spaces (and for her love life with Ben), but otherwise it’s not something she even thinks about very much. As far as she’s concerned, she’s human.

She knows nothing of the Skrull beyond that. As far as she knows, her father severed ties with his people after she was born, and hasn’t worked for them since. She doesn’t know the details, but he’s told her not to worry. His loyalty lies with her, and her loyalty lies with Earth. The jury verifies the truth of her statements, but the revelation still unsettles the courtroom. Alicia looks plaintively at Ben, but his expression is impossible to read.

Black Bolt signals for a recess, but before court can adjourn, there’s a flash of energy as a portal opens in the center of the room. Out of it step an elderly Reed Richards and Susan Storm, dressed in primitive tribal garb, and seeming to have aged 40 years since their departure. With them is a strange young woman, tall and thin, with pale green skin and bulbous black eyes. Reed is holding a device that looks like a modified version of one of Doom’s Time Platform remotes. He turns a dial on it, then looks around and smiles. “We made it, Sue! We finally made it!”

The portal collapses behind them, and Sue steps forward, holding the knapsack she collected from the Inhuman pirate ship. “Lord Black Bolt. We apologize for our tardiness. There were… difficulties on the road. But we have important information for the court!”

TO BE CONTINUED!!

And that, believe it or not, concludes The Trial of the Thing. Yes, there are still issues to be resolved. But the story goes somewhere else for a while first, so that’s what we’ll deal with next time. For now, though, all we’re left with are…

ARC FOURTEEN NOTES

The long break between posts masks this somewhat, but I’m slightly concerned that I may be giving the audience “adventure fatigue.” I very much wanted to emulate the great Steve Ditko Dr. Strange run through this part of the Re-Mix, with its string of endless cliffhangers, new creations, and excitement. But readers eventually need an ending, and we’re now roughly 26 issues into never-ending adventure. Seriously. We’ve gone from the introduction of the Frightful Four (6 issues) to the introduction of the Inhumans (6 issues) to Fin Fang Foom (8 issues) to the trial (6 issues), with each arc rolling right into the next, and the only true resolution being the defeat of Foom.

Even I’m getting tired at this point, which may be an additional reason I stalled out on the series last year. So I think it may be time to wrap things up a bit. I still have a good bit of story left to tell before I’m done with my ideas for the Re-Mix, but it might be wise to have some clear beginning-middle-and-end arcs before we launch off into the grand finale.

(An aside: I just went back and did a rough issue count for the Re-Mix to date. This arc takes us up to issue 82! Insanity! I had originally thought this might take around 100 issues total, but I’ve got enough for another 50, easy. More, if I explore a few half-formed side concepts along the way. Hmm. Maybe I should go for 200 instead. Hmm…)

One last thing: In re-reading the previous installments of this series, I became acutely aware that I haven’t focused enough on Sue. I have to keep reminding myself that she’s our narrator, so we’re getting her perspective on everything as we go. But I had this idea at the outset that she would become more self-confident as time went on, and that her powers would grow accordingly. But she doesn’t even have her force fields yet! So I need to give her some attention. And soon.

But speaking of the future…

In Our Next Exciting Episode: Adventures in Time and Introspection! Past Peace and Future War! Politics! Wakanda! Plus… INFINITE THINGBEARD!

Fantastic Four Re-Mix, Part Seven: The Trial of the Thing! So it's been a while since we did any Fantastic Four Re-Mix. A full year, in fact.

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A look back at Gus Malzahn’s first signing class.

Next Wednesday, Auburn will close on another signing class. Afterwards, everyone, including yours truly, will attempt to explain to you dear readers why this is a class you should be excited about based off the bits of film they’ve seen of said signees. Some will explain how the fact that one class has a higher player rating average means that their class is in fact much better than their rivals’ ranked 3 spots higher while others will point to the sheer depth of their class as why it is in fact the best.

But the truth is we actually have no idea how good or not good a class is next Wednesday. Yes, it’s been shown over and over again that schools who typically finish ranked higher tend to be more successful. You will never hear me debate that fact. However, the level of success of a class can’t really be judged until those kids hit the gridiron. So this week, we here at College & Magnolia have taken the time go back and re rank Auburn’s signing classes based on their actual success on the field. It will be interesting to see if some classes that were thought to be poor end up strong while great on paper classes turn to disappointment upon reexamination.

I should point out that we are ranking based on the success of the player while at Auburn. We aren’t concerned about where they landed in the NFL Draft or any success they might have had after leaving the Plains. We are grading strictly on how these players produced while donning the orange and blue. Our final rating is an average of grades (1-5) given to signees by the majority of the brain trust here at C&M. You could call it a C&M Composite score if you so felt inclined...

Anyway, enough rambling, onto the re-ranks!

Consensus Five Stars

We start first with the folks that we all agreed were 5* impact players for the Tigers. What we defined as 5* is pretty subjective but for me at least it’s someone that was not only ultra productive but raised the level of play of those around him as well. Three 5*s in a single class ain’t bad at all.

#14 QB Nick Marshall

247 Composite: 3* | #27 JUCO OVR | #3 JUCO QB | #6 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 320-532 (60.2%) 4,508 yards 34 TD 13 INT 147.5 QBR 325 carries 1,866 yards 5.7 avg 23 TD 3 rec 51 yds 17.0 avg

C&M Composite: 5.00

This was the easiest rerank of the class. Marshall was the engine behind Auburn’s high powered offenses in 2013 and 2014. I will completely admit to the fact that I was very confused on why Gus would take a flyer on a 20+ INT thrower from some JUCO when he had the stud QB of the future coming in the same class back in 2013. But you see, there is a reason I am an internet blogger and not a multi million dollar head football coach.

#18 K Daniel Carlson

247 Composite: 3* | N/A OVR | #2 K | #6 CO

Career Stats: 198-198 XP (100%) 92-114 (80.7%) TD

C&M Composite: 5.00

One of the dumbest things recruiting sites do is give kickers a ceiling of 3*s. Not here at College & Magnolia. Our experts here understand the value of kickers especially someone like Mr. Legatron whom not only leads Auburn in scoring but the SEC overall. That’s right, no human being that has ever played in the best football conference in America has scored as many points as Daniel Carlson. Did you see that Mike?

#55 BUCK/DE Carl Lawson

247 Composite: 5* | #22 OVR | #1 WDE | #3 GA

Career Stats: 67 tackles 24.5 TFL 14.5 sacks 3 FF

C&M Composite: 5.00

There will always be a feeling of what if with Lawson. What if he had not missed all of 2015? But that one year actually helped prove just how valuable a player he was to that Auburn defense. Teams always had to account for Lawson which opened up opportunities for guys elsewhere and his leadership was special. He’s now making a bunch of NFL front offices look super dumb which is just an added bonus honestly.

The Four Stars

What you are going to notice about this class is it is very top heavy. In some other re-ranks I will have to delineate a bit at the 4* level but in 2013, guys were pretty clearly either a consensus 5* or a consensus 4*.

#23 S Johnathan “Rudy” Ford

247 Composite: 4* | #306 OVR | #22 RB | #13 AL

Career Stats: 280 tackles 12.5 TFL 2.0 sacks 5 INT TD 11 PD FR 3 FF

C&M Composite: 4.17

Auburn flipped Ford from Vanderbilt late in the 2013 class and brought him on as a running back. He switched to defense before his sophomore year where he became an instant impact player and led the Tigers in tackles the next two seasons. I still think he could have been a dang good tailback if he left on that side of the ball but hard to complain too much about how his career turned out.

#1 Montravius Adams

247 Composite: 5* | #10 OVR | #3 DT | #2 GA

Career Stats: 147 tackles 19.5 TFL 10.5 sacks 2 INT 3 PD 3 FR TD 3 FF

C&M Composite: 4.00

I was a bit surprised to see consensus across the board that Adams was a 4*. This was a tough one because we all love Adams and there’s no denying he had a productive career for the Tigers. But consistency eluded him and he just never seemed to have that one big game changing moment in his career. If I were fully re-ranking the 2013 class he might be a 4* but he would be a top 50 player just outside the 5*s. If you disagree, feel free to make a passionate case for Adams in the comments, chances are high you will convince us.

#44 Cameron Artis-Payne

247 Composite: 3* | #60 JUCO OVR | #3 JUCO RB | #17 JUCO CA

Career Stats: 394 carries 2,218 yds 5.6 avg 19 TD 14 rec 151 yds

C&M Composite: 4.00

I vividly remembering telling my buddy with me in Atlanta when Artis-Payne broke off that tremendous late TD run against Missouri that the Tigers would be just fine at tailback in 2014. Artis-Payne was another successful JUCO hit for Malzahn and I think is overlooked in Auburn RB lore. He was insanely light on his feet for a 210 lb running back and delivered more blows than he took that season.

Borderline Four Star

Here resides one player where the C&M crew had mixed thoughts on his rank. The 4s outweighed the 3s though.

#25 Peyton Barber

247 Composite: 3* | #482 OVR | #30 RB | #42 GA

Career Stats: 248 carries 1,071 yds 4.3 avg 13 TD 11 rec 112 yds 10.2 avg

C&M Composite: 3.83

Barber’s career has been far from typical. A nasty knee injury robbed him of his junior year in high school and resulted in him not being as highly pursued as he probably should have been. He redshirted in 2013 and took garbage time reps in 2014 before emerging as the lead tailback for much of the tumultuous 2015 campaign when all of Auburn’s other more highly rated backs were all hurt. Then, after a fantastic redshirt sophomore year, Barber shockingly declared for the NFL though he gave a pretty good reason for it later. Now he’s Tampa Bay’s starting tailback after going undrafted and battling a learning disability all his life. Keep doing you Peyton.

Three Star-ish

Here we find a trio of key contributors that didn’t necessarily have consensus on their rank. One had a few more 4* votes while the other two picked up some lower 2* and even a 1* rank.

#80 Marcus Davis

247 Composite: 3* | #865 OVR | #69 CB | #126 FL

Career Stats: 83 rec 650 yds 7.8 avg 3 TD

C&M Composite: 3.33

Davis’s best year ended up being his first one. He never broke the 200 yard barrier after a strong debut season in 2013. But I will never forget that wheel route catch against Texas A&M.

#53 Devonte Danzey

247 Composite: 3* | #106 JUCO OVR | #2 JUCO OG | #18 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 10 starts

C&M Composite: 2.83

Danzey was never a star for the Tigers but was a crucial backup in both 2014 and 2015. He started 7 games at left guard in 2014 and filled in for an injured Xavier Dampeer at center the final 3 games of the 2015 campaign.

#50 Ben Bradley

247 Composite: 4* | #16 JUCO OVR | #6 JUCO DT | #3 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 36 tackles 6.0 TFL sack

C&M Composite: 2.50

Bradley was an important rotational piece for Auburn’s defensive line in 2013 and 2014. Never a major impact player, Bradley saw plenty of action and was a useful backup for the Tigers when Adams or Dontavius Russell needed a blow.

The Two Stars

This is an interesting category. Some names here I feel might have been judged too harshly while others probably given too much credit. As you can see, this 2013 class was very top but filled with a lot of signees who never really made a huge impact.

#8 Tony Stevens

247 Composite: 4* | #130 OVR | #16 WR | #23 FL

Career Stats: 50 rec 751 yds 15.0 avg 5 TD

C&M Composite: 2.33

I was a bit surprised to see Stevens rated so low by some of my esteemed colleagues. I personally had him as a clear 3* talent but can understand some of the harsh grading. Stevens would have moments where you believed the top 150 talent was showing out but would often times disappear for long stretches. His inability to stay healthy undoubtedly played a large role in those consistency struggles as well.

#6 Jeremy Johnson

247 Composite: 4* | #164 OVR | #11 PRO QB | #7 AL

Career Stats: 179-282 (63.5%) 2,223 yds 20 TD 11 INT 73 carries 210 yds 2.9 avg 9 TD

C&M Composite: 2.33

There’s no point in rehashing this story that has been told plenty. All I will say is that I greatly respected the way Johnson handled his struggles both during his collegiate career and after. He’s still got a fan in me.

#29 Brandon King

247 Composite: 3* | #176 JUCO OVR | #14 JUCO S | #28 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 19 tackles FR

C&M Composite: 2.33

Despite having a pretty nondescript career for the Tigers, King has carved out a niche in the NFL as a special teams beast and is finishing his 4th year with New England. Not a bad way to make a living.

#47 Cameron Toney

247 Composite: 3* | #433 OVR | #28 ILB | #15 AL

Career Stats: 7 tackles

C&M Composite: 2*

I really liked Toney coming out of high school but there were some concerns about his athleticism. He proved too slow to play linebacker and not big enough to play defensive line. I think though he could have been a half decent Buck if he could have played in Kevin Steele’s system. Muschamp moved him there in 2015 before he left the team.

#75 Deon Mix

247 Composite: 3* | #459 OVR | #25 OG | #7 MS

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 2.00

Mix was a career backup for the Tigers before transferring to Houston. There was always talk he was in the “Mix” at center but it never came to fruition. Sorry, just wanted to type that sentence.

The Busts

Probably harsh but this is a harsh business. There’s an uncomfortable amount of 1s in this class though it’s not a huge surprise considering that Gus had to scramble to put this class together after being hired.

#22 Khari Harding

247 Composite: 3* | #635 OVR | #45 S | #5 OK

Career Stats: 4 tackles

C&M Composite: 1.17

I loved Harding’s tape coming out of high school and was so excited when the Tigers stole him away from the Hogs. But sadly, illness in his family cut his Auburn career short and he transferred back to Tulsa where he never really made much of an impact.

#44 Kenny Flowers

247 Composite: 3* | #67 JUCO OVR | #3 JUCO ILB | #13 JUCO KS

Career Stats: 9 tackles TFL

C&M Composite: 1.17

Flowers was a hard hitting backer out of JUCO who looked poised to find a role early on a defense that needed help at linebacker. That never materialized and Flowers left the Plains without ever hearing his name called much on Saturdays, though he did win the Defensive MVP in the 2014 A-Day Game.

#97 Elijah Daniel

247 Composite: 4* | #55 OVR | #6 SDE | #2 IN

Career Stats: 23 tackles 5.5 TFL 3.5 sacks

C&M Composite: 1.00

Daniel was a nice signing day surprise that did not work out. After an encouraging sophomore campaign that saw the Indiana native make the move inside where he proved more effective, Daniel was dismissed from the team after being arrested for burglary.

#83 Dominic Walker

247 Composite: 3* | #500 OVR | #71 WR | #76 FL

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 1*

Walker decided to join teammate Tony Stevens on the Plains in 2013, flipping from Nebraska which did not go over well with the typically pleasant Bo Pelini. Sadly, Walker’s career didn’t amount to much on the Plains and he transferred to Troy after redshirting.

#37 Kamryn Melton

247 Composite: 3* | #542 OVR | #40 CB | #18 AL

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 1*

Melton was apart of the DB migration in 2015 when Will Muschamp came back to town. He ended up playing two solid seasons for Troy in 2016 and 2017.

#21 Mackenro Alexander

247 Composite: 3* | #585 OVR | #40 S | #86 FL

Career Stats: 4 tackles 1.5 TFL

C&M Composite: 1.00

Auburn’s first attempt at a package deal under Gus went poorly. Clemson landed 5* Mackenzie Alexander who went on to have a brilliant career for the purple shaded Tigers. Mackenro picked Auburn where after two seasons of not contributing he transferred to Iowa State where he had a solid senior year.

Earnest Robinson

247 Composite: 4* | #296 OVR | #43 WR| #11 AL

Career Stats: N/A

C&M Composite: 1.00

Robinson failed to qualify after signing with the Tigers and then was arrested for setting up a man for a robbery a year later. Kid had immense talent but that can only get you so far.

This class was ranked #10 overall in 2013 which was only good for 6th in the conference because that’s life in the SEC. It proved incredibly top heavy with three clear 5* impact players, one more borderline 5* talent, two outstanding tailbacks and then a whole lotta meh. This was really Gus Malzahn’s Year 0 class considering he didn’t have all cycle to recruit these kids. So while this class lacked depth, it did provide plenty of punch at the top of the list to make it a solid first signing class for Malzahn. Tomorrow, we will take a look at the very interesting 2014 group.

War Eagle!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/1/29/18196000/re-ranking-auburn-signing-classes-2013