#bella's female rage is SO important to me

[sweetnnaivete]

andromeda and sirius can relate to one another because they both left their families in pursuit of a less sheltered, more open-minded life. narcissa and regulus can relate to each other for being the ones “left behind,” obligated to follow family traditions even though they may not agree with them. bellatrix, however, is alone in her struggles. the eldest daughter that should have been a son. the obsessive, frightening girl who gained the attention of tom riddle himself, and soon surrounded herself with people who both loved and feared her. the mad woman.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

For the Love of All That is Holy, Stop Calling Your Love Interest Stupid, Benedict!!!

Dearest Gentle Reader, I suppose if you play with fire, you do eventually get burned. This Author has finally been burned by a Bridgerton novel. --Lady Bookshelf's Society Papers, 7 June 2023

So uhh...yeah. We gotta talk about Benedict Bridgerton. And we gotta talk about what the actual hell happened between book and Netflix series, because I found the series before the book, and even knowing that the characterizations were different, this book was JARRINGLY different, and not gonna lie, I absolutely cannot stand book Benedict and I fully do not understand the Benophie appeal. Now that I've finished painting a target on my back, let's talk An Offer from a Gentleman.

*Content Warning: Discussions of attempted rape/sexual assault. As always, take care of you first in your choice of books and book reviews, and never ever feel shame about skipping over books or reviews that aren't healthy for you to engage with.*

Ok y'all, I have recipts for this one, because book Benedict was basically a "too aloof and edgelordy to give a damn" and he really, REALLY needed to stop telling Sophie she was stupid or thinking too much. He also was hideously high-handed about blackmailing, coercing, and passive aggressively manipulating Sophie into doing the closest possible thing he can make happen to what he wants. He can't hear the word "no." His art seems somehow less important to him than the bowl of rocks at the cottage.

Show Benedict is a sweetheart artist with a wicked sense of humor and a real damn good sense for his siblings' moods and needs. I like show Benedict. I was prepared to yeet book Benedict off a cliff.

So real quick before this descends into incoherent screeching, I just need to point out the section where Sophie leaves the Cavendar's house during a party that is SUPER not safe for her. The "male lead saves the female lead from getting raped" is not my favorite trope in the world, but I'm not here to shame anyone for rescue fantasies. What I am here to do is explainin why Benedict is the WORST POSSIBLE EXAMPLE of this trope. I'm just gonna go ahead and put the passage up here, for ease. This is Benedict's reaction to seeing Sophie is an objectively scary situation:

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS REACTION??? What is this "ugh, I guess I HAVE to step in, what a pain in the ass FOR ME" nonsense??? This is not allyship, this isn't even--as Benedict tepidly says--"having sisters," this is just "ugh, I guess I have to be a hero, how annoying."

If you're going to do the rescue trope, it kind of works better if your leading man gives a rat's ass. Like, give him a strong position on rape being bad. Give him a motivation. Give him something other than an eye roll and vague irritation that he has to do the thing! He's not even particularly T-ed off with the guys in this situation, it's just...and event. That he has to deal with. Like going to the DMV or something.

Can we PLEASE not do this. This is gross, it is bare minimum, and frankly? It's the least interesting version of this trope. I wasn't a Twilight girl, but the scene where Edward rescues Bella from implied gang rape was done better than this moist tissue of a scene purely because HE GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT BELLA.

Bare freaking minimum, your romantic leads have to have strong feelings for each other. Those feelings can be positive or negative, depending on whether or not you're doing enemies to lovers, but the feelings have to EXIST. And when you're dealing with limited third omninscient narration, the character in who's head you are should probably have stronger emotions than *eye roll* to keep it interesting for the reader!! We know Sophie is already in love with Benedict at this point in the novel, but we aren't in Sophie's HEAD just now.

I'm basically out of coherent things to say about this book, so let's just go over key examples of other things in this book that made me rage. It's not every instance, but it's a selection of demonstrative examples.

Let's check the recipts:

And just WHAT is wrong with speaking like a woman, Benedict??? Is it maybe because you think they're somehow LESSER than men???

TAXING HER BRAIN, BENEDICT??? Let the woman think for her own damn self for five seconds!

LET. HER. THINK. FOR. HER. OWN. DAMN. SELF.

YOU SPENT THE WHOLE BOOK TELLING HER NOT TO THINK AND NOW YOU'RE MANSPLAINING CLASS TO HER??? SERIOUSLY???

Oh, yes, call her stupid. That's a GREAT way to get in any woman's skirts, Benedict. (Please excuse me while I scream incoherently into a pillow in rage.) Punch him again, Sophie.

Wow, so you do ONE DECENT THING and suddenly you own her life??? PUNCH HIM AGAIN, SOPHIE. And no, gentlemen, going "oh shit, I am actually being a huge dick here" and then DOING THE THING ANYWAY does not earn you any points.

ACTUALLY SHE DOES KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, BENEDICT, BECAUSE SHE IS A HUMAN PERSON WITH AGENCY!!!!!! AND SHE HAS SAID NO TO YOU LIKE FIFTEEN TIMES!!! Dear god, someone throw this man back in the lake and hold his head under.

FOR FUCKS SAKE-- *screams in impotent rage while channeling Beatrice's "would eat his heart in the marketplace" vibes*

So...I actually don't recommend this book. Don't read this one. Just enjoy show Benedict and we can all collectively pretend that the book didn't happen.

[hella1975]

i just know when joel wakes up ellie's gonna be so cocky about killing that deer

[liladydarkwolf]

We all know being a teenager can be tough, but did you know that it’s particularly hard for some birds? Unfortunately this lack of awareness is responsible for a large portion of avian surrenders; If your looking at getting a bird is important to remember that, unless you’ve adopted an adult, you will experience puberty.. bird style. Not gonna lie, it can suck but they do grow out of it! Learn about hormonal shifts, work on redirection, environmental management and behavior modification… Be patient and you’ll get through it! There’s support and assistance, find an avian vet, reach out to experienced bird owners, find a pet bird club. Submit things here or YouTube, bird people are usually pretty open to lending a hand. That being said, let’s jump from the serious to the hilarious with a snippet of my own novice bird days!

So I got a cockatiel…

They are so sweet they said…

So quiet and docile they said…

So cuddly they said…

So easy to work with they said….

I’m repeating this in my head as I duck and weave, trying to avoid being shanked by my 1 year old, Tawarri, as he indulges in a little territorial rage brought on by the onset of adolescence. The cat has unknowingly shown some serious balls by daring to dart past me into HIS room…Oh make no mistake, it’s his… He just lets me lurk at the edges occasionally. I, as a conscientious bird owner (read justifiably paronoid) darted after her; Only to find myself standing where she is supposed to be as she yowels, drops to her stomach and shimmies across the floor for the very dubious safety of under the bed.

He… It’s just he at this moment, that’s not Tawarri, it’s some blood thirsty ballistic missile with feathers… has dropped onto the poor cat’s back and is apparently attempting to recreate the blood eagle in real time. I have realized that the cat has teleported and launch myself after her, just in time to fall flat on my face and be treated to the sight of a 8 r oz bird chasing the cat out from under the bed and out of his room.

Vaguely… as he flaps and struts in front of the door with all the jubilation of a Roman emperor celebrating a public triumph… I recall that I had started chasing the cat out of concern for my tiny, floofy cuddle bug; yet somehow I’ve face planted while trying to rescue the 10 pound cat from this ungodly creature of darkness intert on reviving a mythic fate worse than death.

None of which seems all that important after about 3 seconds of Tawarri’s victory dance when he suddenly makes eye contact with me still partially lodged beneath HIS bed…. My philosophical daze brought on by suddenly shifting neural connections processing this absurd reality immediately turns into a desperate scramble to make my face less accessible to the monster barreling toward me at speeds I didn’t even think the awkward bird body could reach! Pure instinct has kicked in and suddenly I’m feeling very vulnerable, much like prey.

Fun fact about me, I never really wanted a lip piercing, even in my rebellious teen years; I guess fate was not particularly interested in my opinions about holes in my face that weren’t stock.. Because I face planted again in my panic and failed to make a clean getaway. To Tawarri’s credit, his aim was immaculate! Perfect center of my lower lip and I really could have put a ring through that hole. If you’re going to have unplanned body modification, it does help if it’s symmetrically aligned. And because the Gods have a sense of humor in line with your average serial killer, I got about 4 months before his younger flock mate, Bella, decided to get in on the fun. Of course, as with many species who are sexually dimorphic, being the female of the species meant a whole new range of teenage shenanigans! You learn quick! But a warning would have been nice, just saying … And yeah, it stocked for awhile…

But hey, this is what I got when I pushed through…

[hazzoranstories]

THE WHITE SUN AT MIDNIGHT | J.BLACK Ch. 29

The next morning Paige joined the rest of the Uley pack to train with the Cullens. Despite how much she disliked the coven of vampires, she had to protect her sister, and if watching a ton of her worst enemies throw each other around was the way to do so, she would participate. They went in their wolf forms to be cautious, which showed a clear message. They may have an alliance, but that never meant they would like each other.

When they arrived at the place in the woods that the Cullens had told them to go, they growled. "They don't trust us enough to be in their human form," Edward announced after searching Sam's mind.

"They came. That's what matters," Carlisle soothed an anxious-looking Bella. She had never seen her sister in her wolf form, and by the female like features, she could narrow two wolves down that could be Paige. "Will you translate?" the eldest vampire asked Edward, who agreed.

Jake walked closer than any other wolves to near Bella on the sidelines. He was expecting Paige to follow him, but she never moved from her spot next to Paul and Seth.

"Welcome. Jasper has experience with newborns. He'll teach us how to defeat them,"  Carlisle was the first to speak up.

"They want to know how the newborns differ from us," Edward declared.

"They're a great deal stronger than us because their own human blood lingers in their tissues. Our kind is never more physically powerful than in our first several months of this life," Carlisle finished and gestured to Jasper to carry on.

"Carlisle's right. That's why they are created. A newborn army doesn't need thousands like a human army, but no human army could stand against them," Jasper continued, his face twisted into a small scowl. "Now, the two most important things to remember are, first, never let them get their arms around you. They'll crush you instantly. And second, never go for the obvious kill. They'll be expecting that, and you will lose," the blonde hissed out, and Paige let out a nasty snarl.

"Emmett," Jasper said and strutted into the open area with Emmett going to the opposite of him. "Don't hold back."

"Not in my nature," Emmett smirked. He raced forward and tackled Jasper. It was a few seconds before a loud thunderous thump rang around the woods. Emmett grunted on the ground with Jasper standing above him.

"Never lose focus."

The pack studied another three partners that included Carlisle and Edward, Jasper and Rosalie, and Jasper with Alice. Paige ground her sharp teeth together when Jake walked closer to Bella, so she was leaning against his side.

She knew she shouldn't be jealous, but she hated Bella being so close to her imprint. Her jaw was locked so tight and her glare so filled with rage that Seth's whole right side of his body nudged her. The unexpected force caused the white wolf to stumble and sneer at Seth.

Paige then saw Bella scratching Jacob's head with him groaning in sensation. Once the Claymore caught a glimpse of the Cullens finishing up, she stomped back into the woods with Sam growling at her to obey. But he wasn't her Alpha, so why should she listen to him? Kaimbe was her Alpha. That was the only person she had to listen to no matter what. So Sam shouldn't have the audacity to order her around.

~:*:~

The day before the battle, Paige had remained in her room, making calls to her friends in Montana and drowning in her sudden roar of anger. Her jealousy had grown when Jasper found out that if Jake would carry Bella away from the battlefield, no vampires could catch her scent. So Jacob had to carry Bella into the woods while Jasper tried to locate them. God, it just made her want to punch the wall when thinking about it.

She had called Ryland, Chloe, Dakoda, Shawne, and a few others that Kaimbe might not notice is gone. Even if Dakoda was third in command to the Anderson pack, he wasn't important to Kaimbe like Mika was. In total, she had a group of 7 new werewolves to fight.

Right now, Paige was trying to focus on something to do without breaking something but was not succeeding, so she stormed downstairs. She saw Bella and Charlie in the kitchen making lunch with small talk.

"Hey. You two want a sandwich?" Charlie asked.

"No, I'm good," both girls stated in sync. Paige grabbed a water bottle, which seemed to be the only thing she was putting into her body, and sat at the small table.

"Well, the sister, I like," Charlie muttered with a soft smile.

"Alice. Yeah, she's great," Bella glowed, and Paige held in a scoff by sipping her water. "Hey, Dad, I was wondering. Why didn't you get remarried? After Mom," Bella questioned, and Paige raised her eyebrows from the sudden change of subject.

Charlie looked baffled but replied anyway, "I don't know. I guess I still haven't found the right gal. Why?"

"I don't know. I thought you just maybe gave up on the whole institution of it, of marriage. But do you think there's any value?" Bella continued her awkward interrogation.

"Yeah. Yeah, marriage has value," Charlie sighed, then caught on and added, "When you're older. Much older. Like your mother. Seemed to work out fine for her the second time around, later in life."

"Yeah, I guess," now Paige was intrigued at the mention of her mother.

"I mean, you definitely don't wanna have to get married because you weren't . . . . careful," Charlie mumbled as quietly as he could to hide his embarrassment. Paige chuckled at how confused Bella looked.

"What?"

"Look, you know what I'm talking about. There's things you need to think about if you're gonna be physically intimate," Charlie choked out. Paige spat out her water and burst out laughing.

"Okay. Don't have "the talk" with me, please," Bella rushed away, trying to hold in a giggle.

"Well, it's just as embarrassing for me as it is for you," Charlie held up his hands in defense, and Paige hit her head on the table where her water was spilled.

"I doubt that. And don't bother, 'cause Mom beat you to it like 10 years ago," Bella claimed.

"Well, you didn't have a boyfriend 10 years ago," Charlie defended.

"I'm sure things work the same way," Bella stumbled over her words, and Paige lifted her head to start her laughs again.

"All right, so . . . . you guys are taking precautions and . . . ."  the Swan trailed off.

"Okay, Dad, please just don't worry about that. Edward is old school," Bella said, making Paige laugh harder.

"Old school. Great. What's that? Like, code for something?"

"Oh, my god. Dad. I'm a virgin," Bella exclaimed with a thumbs up. By now, Paige was clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes from her amusement.

"Okay! Good. Glad we covered that," Charlie squealed.

"Me too!" Bella called to him and ran up the stairs.

Charlie began his sandwich again when he muttered, "virgin. I'm liking Edward a little bit more now."

He then glanced at Paige who's bottom lip was between her teeth to hold back another giggle. "What about you?"

"Me and Jake are old school too," the wolf mocked, and Charlie rolled his eyes playfully.

"He still can't sleep over unless it's life and death, remember that," he warned, and Paige nodded with a small chuckle escaping her lips as Charlie walked out of the kitchen to the living room.

"So worth coming downstairs."

[tandonshows]

hi hello me and a 3x Emmy nominated writer spent two hours talking about this

here are some highlights:

Edward Cullen can be read as a version of female rage, and is more representative of the teenage girl experience than Bella. For us, that might be why we romanticized him

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were in fact incredible actors: they were doing exactly what was on the page.

The lack of sex was sex in itself, and was an important first step in understanding sexuality (first, you understand longing and lust and why you're having those feelings, and it's a step a lot of teen media skipped at that time, which made it hard to relate to shows like Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill)

We talked about this and so much more if you want to give it a listen!

Part 1 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all podcast players.

twilight is genuinely one of my favorite movies in all the ways that stephanie meyer would hate

[letterboxd]

Boxing On.

Chick Fight star and former competitive figure skater Malin Åkerman tells Gemma Gracewood about the meditative power of boxing, how Margot Robbie inspired her to become a producer, and her adoration for Tilda Swinton.

One of film’s earliest preserved specimens is The Gordon Sisters Boxing (1901), a 90-second curio in which sisters Bessie and Minnie Gordon go at it with boxing gloves, in full petticoats, in front of a genteel scene of a formal garden with fountain centerpiece. It’s theatrical yet strangely thrilling, possibly because women’s fight films are few and far between.

There’s 2004’s po-faced, Oscar-winning Million Dollar Baby, Priyanka Chopra’s 2014 turn as Indian boxing star Mary Kom, and last year’s Fighting with My Family, a good-time, must-see starring our girl Florence Pugh as a pro wrestler. But a global sports-fighting industry stacked with female champs hasn’t really translated into big screen chick-fights. The best woman-on-woman fight scenes are usually contained in narrative action (the airplane scrap between KiKi Layne and Charlize Theron in The Old Guard was one of 2020’s highlights on that front).

And that’s, in part, what attracted actor and emerging producer Malin Åkerman to Chick Fight, a story set around a secret underground women’s fight club founded by a therapist to give her patients a physical outlet for their rage. “I love boxing,” says Åkerman. “It’s not a man’s sport. It’s an everyman’s sport, it’s an everywoman’s sport. It’s a very cathartic experience for me because afterwards I feel like I’ve gotten everything out.”

Åkerman plays Anna, a 40-something financial and emotional disaster whose bestie introduces her to the club once she hits rock bottom. That friend, Charleen, is played winningly by comedian Dulcé Sloan, with a fun turn by Fortune Feimster as the fight club referee, plus Alec Baldwin as Anna’s booze-loving trainer, and former WWE star Kevin Nash as her recently out father.

Malin Åkerman and Alec Baldwin in ‘Chick Fight’.

Though she has has starred in more than 40 films, Åkerman is new to producing (Friendsgiving is her other film out this month). The hunt for projects she could take the lead on began after the jolt of missing out on a role uniquely suited to her: Tonya Harding in I, Tonya. “I grew up as a figure skater, I competed nationally in Canada for ten years,” Åkerman says, recalling that she hit up her team: “I just said, ‘How come I didn’t even get called in for this?’ And they said, ‘Well, because Margot Robbie built it from the ground up. She produced it.’ I went ���aaah’ and a light bulb went up over me and I went, ‘Alright, that’s it, I just have to take things into my own hands and start finding material’.”

Chick Fight was scripted by first-time feature writer Joseph Downey, who strives to create female-led stories. Some aspects feel contrived—a rivalry between Anna and Bella Thorne’s Olivia in particular; Alec Baldwin in general—but Åkerman worked with director Paul Leyden, a good friend, to enhance “the female perspective and the female voice” in the script. This comes across in scenes between Anna and Charleen, which tingle with no-bullshit connection. “I think that the important message in this film was sisterhood. It’s so important to focus on the fact that women supporting women has so much power and strength. We need to stick together and we need to be this force of unity.”

In the pursuit of more projects, her lockdown has been a whirl of Zoom meetings with potential writers—a silver lining of the pandemic. “I’ve had time to focus on searching for new material. Just taking the bull by the horns and creating the material that [I] wanna create. That is the way to go.” Åkerman herself is partial to “films that breathe”, giving No Country for Old Men, Babel and Call Me by Your Name as examples. “I just think there is so much art involved in those types of films.” Javier Bardem and Tilda Swinton stand out in her “Rolodex of actors” as particular fascinations. “Anything Tilda does, I will watch.”

Malin Åkerman, Dulcé Sloan and director Paul Leyden on the set of ‘Chick Fight’.

Those films and artists, Åkerman readily adds, are “a long shot from the kinds of genres I usually get myself involved in”. Chick Fight, on the other hand, fits neatly in the Åkerman universe—a breezy comedy that balances silly training montages with meatier questions. While above ground, it looks like a classic comedy, the underground cage fights are filmed at high-speed to allow for the visceral, glossy slow-mo shots that come part-and-parcel with today’s movie fights—roundhouse kicks, fists meeting bones, spit and blood flying—and sound effects to match. “That guttural, animal instinct is so amazing to be able to release,” Åkerman enthuses.

It feels important to note, given the David Fincher elephant in the room, that Chick Fight’s only commonality with Fight Club is the three words “secret fight club”. Åkerman says the films that more directly influenced Chick Fight are Rocky (“this is the comedic version of that underdog story”), and the buddy-movie vibe of Thelma & Louise. “That’s the closest to this that we could get. It’s that ‘enough is enough’ feeling. I just love that film. It’s, like, ‘Fuck the system and fuck society as it’s been created and told us to be and not to be. Let’s break down those barriers’.”

The Thelma & Louise connection feels especially strong in Anna’s very sudden economic descent from small business owner to evicted, unemployed and dispossessed. It’s a clear-eyed statement, in the middle of a comedy, on the lack of a social safety net in America, particularly for women—and on the importance of finding your own community (and for many, choosing your own family).

Åkerman was born in Sweden and raised in Canada; both are countries with stronger systems in place for social support, and pro-women policies. “Everything seems a bit more logical over there.” On pandemic-ridden, post-election America, she says, “That's been really interesting, to take into account what kind of country we’re actually living in and what needs to be worked on. I hope that we continue to move forward and not backwards as far as women and equality goes.”

Among the many downsides of the coronavirus pandemic, one is the closure of gyms and sports clubs, an inconvenient side-effect at a time when exercise—an outlet for stress and frustration—is so beneficial for mental-health management. Which brings us back to the joy of boxing: “Most of us have so much on our minds; life is so full of anxiety, or stresses, and it’s so hard to shut that off.”

“Some people are able to shut up their brains by actually sitting and meditating. My brain just gets much louder when I do that, so if I am able to just concentrate on not getting hit in the face, I am completely out of my mind and in my body.”

Related content

Zoe Bell’s quarantine Boss Bitch Fight Challenge, featuring Scarlett Johansson, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Lawless, Margot Robbie and more

Female Friendships in Film—a list by Vanina

Female Friendship by Female Directors—a list by Vee

Showdown: Fight Club—the best two-person duels in movie history

Follow Gemma on Letterboxd

‘Chick Fight’ is in theaters and on demand in the US now.

[egirl-itachi]

I'm just gonna leave this here in case yall think I'm bluffing about the Twilight 1D Naruto Band Battle AU

In 8th grade I wrote a fanfic that was One Direction/Naruto/Twilight crossover, but very loosely One Direction. It starts with an OC female running into Niall in a starbucks. Like literally running into him. Hot coffee spills on them both and they try to clean it up at the same time. They touch hands and she is transported to the Naruto Universe. What is OC's name? Why of course, she is named Renesmee, after Renesmee Cullen who I was obsessed with. Keep the Jacob & Renesmee ship in mind, it'll be important later.

Renesmee wakes up at Ichiraku and meets Naruto, and realizes that he is actually Niall Horan, he just doesn't know about his musical talent or that he is Niall Horan. So, she convinces him to start a band. Sasuke sings, Neji is on the keyboard, Rock Lee is an insert for Louis(bc at the time I thought they were both ugly and annoying lol) and is the bassist, and Naruto plays the drums. They call themselves....North. because when Renesme suggested the name "one direction" they thought she meant to pick a cardinal direction and make that the name. Then there is a love triangle between Renesme, Naruniall, and Sasuke that lasts one page of dialogue of them both saying versions of "I love you you're so cute, marry me" trying to out-do the other.

Renesmee chooses Naruto even though she and Sasuke had already kissed, so Sasuke leaves the band and signs a record deal with Orochimaru instead. Shikamaru replaces Sasuke(???). Orochimaru, CEO of Hidden Sound Records, makes Sasuke the lead of a band called Taka. Sasuke hates the members and the music and misses North but he is Sasuke so won't go back. Renesmee sneaks out to a Taka concert in a small village to see Sasuke because she's a thirsty ass hoe. Itachi's band, Akatsuki, is playing a set before Taka.

Akatsuki is made up of Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, and Pain, and they are an emo rock band. At the club(?) Hidan starts flirting with Renesmee, trying to get her to drink and then lures her to the backroom intending to sacrifice her to Jashin. Itachi saves her and tells Hidan he is 'getting too into the music', whatever that means. Sasuke hears about everything and is furious. Before raging, he stops to kiss Renesmee and tell her he loves her. Then, because it is Sasuke, he kills Itachi. Not Hidan, the attempted murderer, but Itachi, since Itachi did kill his entire family. After that Sasuke leaves Taka and steals Itachi's band, basically.

I should mention that during all of this, Renesmee and Sakura are fighting over Sasuke, and Renesmee and Hinata over Naruto. They never use jutsu, they just glare at eachother in public. I only gave Renesmee one jutsu at first: Ketsu no Jutsu. Think blood bending and then don't think of anything else because I just stole it from ATLA.

Meanwhile, North and Akatsuki have a band battle, and Kisame uses his guitar Samehada to steal not just chakra, but musical talent. Kind of like the basketball in Space Jam. This is when we learn a major plot twist. Naruto is the Niall Horan jinchuriki. Yep. Sasuke isn't a music jinchuriki though, he is just naturally gifted. When they find out about Naruniall, Akatsuki unseals Niall and steals the Niall chakra, causing Naruto to look and act like canon Naruto. This means that Renesmee's british boyfriend is gone, basically dead. It is very traumatic, so Renesmee awakens her Mangekyou Sharingan. Like she just skips all the steps and goes straight to Mangekyou even though she never had normal sharingan. This is all thanks to the fact that her mom, Bella Swan, was Madara Uchiha's duaghter. How? Why? I don't know, because I never explained. So anyways, now Renesmee lost both of her boyfriends since she is related to Sasuke and they can't kiss anymore.

The final scene is Renesmee running into a dog in the forest. Akamaru is the dog. Kiba, who she has somehow never met during all of this, comes running over to get Akamaru. They look at eachother and instantly know they are soulmates because Kiba is Jacob riencarnated. It ends with them staring into eachother's eyes.

It still keeps me up at night.

[strigiform-thunderstorm]

Okay, "Debate Twilight at 8 in the morning with your angry anime husbando" wasn't on my bingo card for today, but I'll roll with it. First and foremost- I agree that the relationships in Twilighr are toxic, the Mormon pro-birth propaganda and purity culture message makes me cringe, and edgy little Twilight-having baby goth teenage me would have been THRILLED to have this conversation. I was INCENSED with rage at these books, as the resident school bookworm who was bullied for it up until the YA romance craze hit and suddenly bringing in a different book every day was fine. I was so deeply offended at the writing quality and relationship dynamics. I have and always will be Team Alice, so, you know, make my day 😅 Here's the revised take from late-20's, still goth, kinky witch adult me.

I actually have come around to unabashedly supporting the Twilight rennaissance under the argument that women are allowed to like shit that isn't good. That's it. That's the argument. I've been dragged to countless Marvel movies- which often have relationships that are just as unhealthy but more sexualized, include graphic violence against female characters in order to further male character arcs, are formulaic at best where pertains to the writing, and which are legitimately American military propaganda. A lot of Hollywood movies are allowed to rent gear/props from the Department of Defense in exchange for full freedom to doctor the script. Every facet of pop culture is imbued with messages backing the industrial war machine, colonialism, capitalism, and patriarchy. That being said, there are a lot of suspicious turds floating about the great community swimming pool that is fandom.

While her malleable and bland nature probably contributed to her popularity (and fed the beast of internalized misogyny that nearly all afab people have to reckon with at some point; don't exploit or abuse me, I'm not like other girls! I'm a real person!) I would argue that Bella was more of a laughably blatant Smeyer self insert. A grown woman lusting after a teenage character is not a great look. But agreed that as a heroine she at least had some personality and autonomy in the books. It does make me sad that most of what are portrayed as Bella’s positive attributes, are the ways she makes herself smaller for the men surrounding her. Honestly, I'm pretty gay for Kristen Stewart now so I'd be fine with a Twilight remake where she plays every character. Do it, cowards.

On the Edward/Jacob issue, both are obviously terrible. A lot of the Jacob character assassination post book 1 has its roots in racist cultural myths about indigenous people, like reading it as an adult it is SO fetishizing and noble savagey it actually makes me cringe. The fact that she appropriated Quilette religion without even trying to research it or do so respectfully, and then didn't even extend funding to them when they were trying to fundraise their impoverished community out of a hurricane flood zone (climate changes first refugees are almost invariably indigenous or colonized peoples) is some white fantasy bullshit. The "mysterious sexy brown man has magic powers from his ancestors that overcome him in a primal, bestial rage" is not a new trope and has long been used to portray men of color as predators of white women. And when you need a rival love interest who ultimately can't be an endgame option... If you'd like further reading material on the insidious nature of western portrayal of indigenous culture, I really enjoyed An Indigenous Peoples History of the US and All the Real Indians Died Off and Other Myths, both recommended to me by a college professor who worked in activism under reservations. So, while I'd argue that the blatant sexual assault and grooming of a child are the worst possible offenses, the cultural context is important here (and these are huge issues within Mormon tradition, like there are literal child brides being married off to grown ass men today in America because of it.)

Edward has always grated on me to be honest, he comes off as some privileged kid who spends one semester at college, then comes home and immediately starts hitting high school house parties trying to manipulate teenagers with his newfound "maturity". And yeah, the age difference. If Jacob is that asshole ex from your teenage years, Edward is the creepy grandfather who he learned it from. As someone in their late 20s who teaches kids and sees any 18 year old as a kid to protect, the idea of all these supposedly all powerful immortal men losing it over teenage girls gives me the big ick. We'll gloss over the watching her sleep issue because it's been discussed to death.. Midnight Sun made him even worse, it's like she doubled down on his misogyny and it seriously reads like the manifesto of a school shooter. Edward is so completely self obsessed and convinced that everyone is beneath him, especially women, that it comes off as anti social behavior. The way he talks about Rosalie in MS is reprehensible (especially considering that she's actually completely in the right in feeling the way she does, and taking into account the violence of her own story and how she viewed Bella as a young impressionable girl about to make an awful mistake.) Pop culture hates nothing more than a woman who has confidence in her own appearance and role. Honestly, her back story is so much more heartbreaking and interesting than Edward's and while I've read a good amount of fanfic that focuses more on the lost opportunity of exploring the friendships between female characters, there's a lot I'd give for an I Spit on Your Grave style revenge movie where she massacres her attackers in a wedding dress. There is a lot of good Bella/Alice fic floating around- my particular favorite being a story in which Bella realizes Edward is a controlling groomer, Alice realized Jasper is a racist ex-Confederate, and they run away together. There is good conversation, good analysis, and good writing happening in this community.

At the end of the day, it's easy to find examples of abuse and misogyny (including internalized) in fiction, especially with YA romance, but it's even easier to use it as fuel to further ridicule and dismiss young women. There are just as many or more transgressions in stories written for men; I still have to deal with men my own age still defending the fetishization of assault in GoT and other fantasy series. As a survivor who has been basically told to shut up and be easier to get along with when I point out these same issues in differently marketed media, it rings false for me that criticism is ONLY acceptable when it's being used as yet another way to talk down to women. I've dated Edwards, and Jacobs, and worse (yeah, turned out my hypercriticism didn't actually protect me in any way), and the people who called me pathetic or stupid for letting myself be victimized are usually men who use the same descriptors for teenage girls enjoying a book series.

  I'm suspicious of any narrative that seems to compromise mostly of grown men hating on teenage girls... So, I'm pro Twilight-rennaissance, as a former little edgelord who was way too vocal about how much I hated the series (for many of the reasons you listed) and who is now enjoying just... Having fun with it and letting myself enjoy something stupid without self criticism.

And on your answer... Your fighting ability. What a boring answer. I'm going to need something better than that 😇 But on talking, you'll have to say so outright if that's what you want. Am I actually seeing you hesitant? Interesting.

 I’ll probably be sparse (or active online, I suppose) until the end of the holidays. I’ve had to cancel four and counting parties due to a monster chronic illness flare and I’m mostly stuck in bed super duper enjoying the sensation of my every nerve being on fire. But I have some good books to read when I can focus enough to enjoy them, and of course the ever famous lizard. He’s a Prehensile Tailed skink, by the way- a species native to the Solomon Islands, who have both crazy adaptations for processing plant alkaloids/oxalates, as well as complex social dynamics! He isn’t my only animal (I’m a wildlife educator and will gladly bring home anything from giant grubs to venomous snakes to birds of prey) but he’s the one with the biggest capacity for the intentional sowing of chaos so he gets an honorable mention. 

I asked my friend for a question and with an admirable determination to punish me she requested:

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

I'll throw in my own- what's something about yourself that you genuinely like? Not something you do, especially for others.

I didn't think I'd run into you today. Not that I'm avoiding you... I've been trying to spend more time outside as the weather has been giving us a break. The holidays were... Well, they were fine. I do keep catch myself daydreaming of spring.

Ah, I was wondering if you'd want to take the time to talk when you're free. About our excursion, and... [pause, a blush creeping up my neck] About what happened. That's all. [an awkward escape]

[Admin, I kept posting these anonymously by mistake. We'll say it's because I was being cool and mysterious. I hope these aren't too frequent, they've been a nice little escape. I'm the lizard owner lol]

[Previous ask]

*Stares* I hate that piece of shit series. All it is, is shitty mormon propaganda and a garbage example of shitty toxic relationships for brats who won't know any better. Mostly girls. If it didn’t exist, the world would be a better place.

If you can't live without your significant other... *Disgusted* ...you don't have a relationship. You're in prison, and you don't even know it.

How the hell do you explain away being kissed without consent as a way to "convince" someone to reconsider dating you. All that scene was, was garbage drama. There are about a million other ways to have done it while making it less of an assault on my eyes. Much less—a group of age-old vampires just happen to go to the local high school as a hobby? Fucking creepy. *Crosses arms* To say nothing of the actual romance. You know who should have gotten their own story? Rosalie. At least she was remotely interesting.

Tch, and I hate the whole melodramatic mopey schtick. I get that the girl is pretty much a blank slate, but that doesn't work even in *Curls lip* fanfiction, and it doesn't work in a blockbuster film. In the books, she had more character, and that still isn't saying much.

Edward is a mopey pathetic idiot. To "protect her", he leaves this girl who clearly has codependency issues, just like him. Here's an idea: as someone who's over a hundred years old, don't fool around with a teenager. It's just as possible that that would've ended in her death somehow, anyway.

*Glares* Besides the dozen glaring plot holes I could name off the top of my head, he was scared of fucking her because it would break her, right? Who cares about that when he’s supposed to be cold? No blood flow, either... *Scoffs* Nevermind…

Compared to that guy, at least Bella and Jacob's relationship had an organic start and progression. *Firmly* The sexual assault scene did him no favors, and neither did staking claim on her unborn brat, but even he had more redeeming qualities than the other guy.

So which one would I choose? *Presses lips* Alice.

*Huffs…*

...

*Furrows brow* ...

…My fighting ability.

…Yeah. Suddenly the weather's turned a lot nicer lately. It snowed the other day, but I didn't freeze my ass off outside. We're still on leave, but the weather held so that most of my squad could go out riding. Jean still has his mom.

*Grunts* You're waiting for spring. I'm the same way.

*Jaw works, looks away* Don't be stupid. I'm free to talk to you no matter what. But if that's what you want, we'll have that conversation later.

[volturi-or-die]

Twisted: Chapter 19- Cautious

Previous Chapter: Chapter 18- Contradiction

Next Chapter: WIP

Point of View: Minalia

Word Count: 1983

Warnings: Death mention

Mina listen to me!

I shot up quickly, but something around my arms jerked me back slamming my head back into the ground. Shit. 

I looked down at my wrists, tight metal wrapped around them. The five foot long chains they were attached too were already loose from the sudden force I pulled up with. Where the hell was I and why the hell was I chained up? And what was I even wearing? I looked at the jeans and the bright blue tee, but I wasn’t sure where the light gray cape came from. 

“You are finally awake.” Oh so this had to be a nightmare. I turned towards Jane, her face as stoic as the day I met her. The lights were dim around her and the air was cold. I looked around and noticed the stone and bars around me. Why the hell does the world’s most powerful vampire coven need a dungeon, although the more important question is why was I in it?

“What am I doing here?” Jane looked at me carefully, her face showing signs of irritation by my question. I was in no position to deal with her, particularly with my headache getting stronger by the second. 

“You have to be joking,” she said. 

I raised my head and glared at her. “Do I look like I’m joking?” Jane was the least hospitable member of the Volturi I knew. I may not have spent much time in Volterra, but only Alec was the one to truly help me, if help was what that was. 

Alec. What happened to him? I remembered following him and we ran into those two vampires who had Renesmee. Ness. 

“Wait! Is everyone okay? Where’s Renesmee? Where’s Alec?” Torturous pain shot through my head with each question. I wanted to scream out, but I shut my eyes and tried to hold it together. “Jane quit with the pain.” 

“First off, if I was torturing you then you would be in worse shape than that,” she scoffed. “Now, Alec and Renesmee are both alright although no thanks to you.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Do you truly not remember anything?” she asked, although I could almost get a sense of concern in her voice. I took a deep breath and willed myself to remember what happened. 

I looked at my knuckles, fully healed from the punches I gave the female. That other vampire, Stefan, he got into a fight with Alec. My head was hurting more and more as I thought about it. The thought of being pulled off the woman, going through the air-

Wait. I turned to Jane. My head was pounding at this point. “Why am I not dead?”

“I do not know. However, you are most certainly not human.” 

“No shit Sherlock. What am I?” Before Jane could answer me, Carlisle and Demetri entered the chamber. They both seemed concerned over my condition but overall relieved. 

“Glad to see you’re awake,” Demetri said with a soft smile. “What do you remember?”

“She doesn’t remember anything after her death,” Jane answered for me. Carlisle unlocked the door and Demetri handed him the key to remove the chains from the ground but left the wrist ones on. He looked at me apologetically, but I knew this wasn’t his doing. 

“Aro wants to speak to you,” Carlisle said as he embraced me. I let myself be held this once, knowing all too well I may not make it out of this. If I was in here, in chains, then whatever I was posed a threat to them all, Alec and Renesmee included.

Carlisle let me go and we walked out, following Demetri and Jane to the chamber. We passed by the library, now cleaned up and empty. I was only in there, just yesterday, or was it yesterday? “How long have I been out?”

“Two days, since you changed back” Demetri answered. Changed back? What did he mean? Was I shifter? A pain shot through my head forcing me to fall to my knees. Carlisle grabbed me before I hit the ground, but the pain in my head was still there. 

Carlisle scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way. Once we reached the throne room, he set me back down and I faced everyone. Most of the Cullens were there: Renesmee, Emmett, Edward, Bella, and Jasper. With the guard there and the masters, this could turn into a bloodbath if it came to it, but for now I didn’t care as I ran to Ness. She hugged me close before Emmett cut in to hug me as well. 

“How you holding up kid?” he asked.

“Yes dear Minalia, how are you?” Aro interrupted us. I faced the masters now, Aro’s own curiosity a stark contrast to Caius’ visible anger and disgust. This really was not going to end well.

However there was a pair of eyes that struck me. Alec. He looked at me, emotionless as the days spent in the library. Perhaps I should have known, the heat of the moments earlier  were not enough to change his feelings for me. Well, who needed a friend in the Volturi guard anyways. 

Carlisle came and stood behind me as Emmett wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I knew they were being protective, but I didn’t know how much this would even do. I felt a rush of calm sweep over me as I realized Jasper was doing his best to keep me level.

My attention returned to Aro, “I’m doing fine sir.” 

“I’m certainly glad to hear that dear. You are not injured?”

“No, just a mere headache.” Carlisle looked at me concerned, knowing I’ve never truly suffered from one before. 

“How unfortunate. I am sure that is unusual.” 

“Yes it-”

“Enough!” Caius exclaimed, startling everyone around. “We are not here to exchange pleasantries. She is a threat to our kind and she must be eliminated.” 

At this everyone jumped. In a split second I was pushed back behind Emmett, Jasper pulling me to the side. Edward stepped forward with them and each of them bared their teeth as Felix and Santiago moved in front of the leaders along with Jane and Alec. Everyone held their defensive positions except Carlisle and Aro.

Aro made a motion for everyone to stand down, but no one stopped. Carlisle spoke now saying, “Everyone, it’s fine. No one will get hurt.” 

Felix looked at Edward, who nodded in agreement with him. They both backed down and stood up at the same time followed by everyone else. Caius was not pleased as this as I made my way forward again.

“Forgive my brother,” Aro said reasserting himself. “However everyone may feel more comfortable if you were fully detained.” 

I moved towards Felix who placed his hands on my arms. Santiago stood beside him as the Cullens stood back. If I could avoid anyone getting hurt right now, I would. As Felix held me, I realized that someone was missing from the area. 

“Where’s what’s his name? Stefan?” Felix stiffened, and I looked to Alec whose eyes were getting darker with anger by the second. 

Aro answered me, “He escaped. For now. At the present moment you are our concern.” Aro held out his hand to me, as if to ask permission. I complied and he touched my hand. 

I regretted it instantly as I screamed out in pain. An arm caught me as I crumbled to the ground, the memories of two days ago coming back. 

I felt my body contorting, my mind was no longer my own. A growl escaped my lips as I emerged from the rubble. I felt my paws making imprints in the ground, my hind legs going into a crouching position. 

I remembered it all. I remembered the growling, the sharp smell of vampires, the feeling of pure animalistic rage coursing through my veins. I was not in control, no matter how much I wanted to be. 

The same feeling began to course through me again. I felt the pain subsiding but with it came out a growl from me. No not now. I couldn’t go back to that. I got out of it last time, right. I had to remember. 

“Mina, it’s me, Emmett. Please come back to us kid.”

“You are our family. We love you kiddo.”

Emmett and Renesmee. They tried to pull me back to my own humanity, but they weren’t alone last time. It was their voices and Alec’s own abilities that allowed me to fully become aware of them last time. All I remembered was the dark, and the voices that could pull me out of it, but the memory wasn’t working.

Suddenly everything went numb. Alec. My hearing came back and this time it was everyone pulling me back. 

“Mina, you’re okay. You’re not gone. Come back,” Emmett reassured me. 

“Listen to my voice,” Ness called out. I felt the calm sweeping over me. No I wouldn’t let myself lose control. Not now. I willed myself to listen, to feel their comfort and come back to my humanity. 

I felt the mist pulling away as I regained my senses. As I opened my eyes, I noticed it was Alec that caught me from falling. Aro was no longer holding my hand but rather now behind Santiago and Jane along with Marcus and Caius.

Caius was the first to speak up, “See for yourselves! She’s a threat! We cannot allow her to live!” 

“Wait a second Caius, she didn’t transform,” Carlisle tried to reason with him. Everyone began to tense again, battle lines beginning to be drawn. I couldn’t let it get any farther now.

“No. He’s right,” I conceded. There was no way I could guarantee not hurting anyone. When I transformed, I knew I wasn’t in control. This was the only way to keep everyone safe. 

“Mina no,” Edward tried to reason with me, but I put my hand up. 

“No. I’ll only hurt everyone. Yeah I came out of it now, but there’s no way to know I can every time. I remember everything. I almost hurt everyone.” I looked at Alec, and mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ He said nothing as he let me go. He was hiding something in his eyes, something I could not read as he moved back to Jane’s side. 

“Aro,” Carlisle said pleadingly. There was no way Aro would let me live. No matter how curious he was about my state, the laws wouldn’t allow it. I was a threat, to vampires, to humans, to all supernatural beings in general. I couldn’t keep a secret in this way, not if I had no control. 

Aro moved forward, “Unfortunately you are right dear one.” The Cullens erupted in protest. I was going to lose the only family I had, but this is what family does. I have to protect them, even from myself. 

“Everyone please stop. I love you all, and I am thankful for the home you have given me these past few years.” I tried to stop the tears from coming. I knew I couldn’t say goodbye like this. 

Renesmee hugged me close, her tears starting to come. “Please, Mina.” I didn’t want to give this up, not my own sister. “Don’t go.” 

“Maybe she doesn’t have to.” Ness let me go and everyone turned to Alec, even Aro was surprised. He took Alec’s hand and stayed silent for a minute. 

“Aro,” Edward began, “Would you consider it?” 

Aro looked at me, “Consider it, yes. But as you know it will be her decision.” 

What were they possibly talking about. My decision to what? I already chose to give up my life for my family, what other choice could I make? 

Alec looked at me expectantly, somehow pleading with me to say yes to his next question. “Minalia, would you consider joining the guard?”

--

Tagging: @volturisecretary @phil-dwyer-stan-account @alecvolturi @felixdeservedbetter

[oveliagirlhaditright]

So... Honest question: Have you ever seen an adaptation that had one element you wished the source material had, but did everything else wrong?

You are tapping into my vast knowledge of book adaptations, friend. At first when I read this ask, I thought I had nothing. But now I think I have quite a bit. Here we go:

Twilight (I know you don’t like it–I think–and I get that. Neither does the world. But you asked this question about any adaptation. And I have one here that follows that ask, so I’m going to list it, if that’s okay:)) Tbh… I think the movie series did more right than just one thing… But that being said, I have more issues with the films than I have things I like about them (I think the books are better). But an example of the films being better than the books in one area–while I don’t like a lot of the rest–is this one line from the Eclipse film, that even Stephenie says she likes better there. Basically, in the books I (and Stephenie) feel like Bella got into this long, unnecessary rant about how Edward is contradicting himself (about the fight with the Newborns apparently being easy) and should stay with Bella if it is). In the movie, she gets this across in one easy line: “Okay, either it’s so hard that I should be with you to help out as much as I can, or it’s easy enough that your family should be fine if you bowed out… I think it’s dangerous for us to be apart. How many times to we have to prove that?” Paraphrasing here.

The Host made the good decision to show more of what The Seeker was doing in it–which is an improvement from the book–but they also ironically showed her too much, and this became the movie’s downfall for me (because all her screentime took away from building up other things that were important), so I sadly don’t really like this movie… Which is a shame, because it should have been great. Say what you will about Twilight, but many will say that The Host is actually a phenomenal book by Stephenie Meyer. And it is… And this good plot had a great cast, a wonderful director… and it still fell apart because of this one choice.

I liked The Vampire Diaries show actually giving the cast more of a personality, which is one of the things I will write home about the show and say that it did better (the book characters felt like cardboard to me. And never more did I feel this, than when they sat down to have a picnic at the beginning of book five–when everything was finally peaceful–and I thought they’d have a normal chat, and I’d finally know more about the characters them… only for them to go right into, “So, has anyone noticed anything weird about the town lately?” -face palm-). But the show was just way too different from the books for me to even give it a chance. It wasn’t The Vampire Diaries. And since it wasn’t, it just made me mad every time I tried to watch it until I gave up.

Gossip Girl… Though to be fair, with this one I don’t dislike the show. And I don’t know which I prefer–the books or the show, if either–because I haven’t read enough of the novels to tell. That being said, the show is quite different from the source material… But it doesn’t really bother me. And what change I actually liked for the show, was them deciding to make Chuck Bass an actually decent human (eventually) being instead of leaving him the ultimate asshole that the books did.

The Mortal Instruments… Shadowhunters has the perfect cast–way better than the movie’s one, in a lot of ways–so the show should partly have it easy just because of that… but it doesn’t (in my opinion. I know a lot of people love Shadowhunters). And for me the cast is the only thing the show has going for it.

The first Percy Jackson movie–The Lightning Thief–is a great family film if you haven’t read the books… and that’s it. And if you have read the books, oh boy.

I’m a weird Divergent fan (if I can even call myself that. As I really don’t like this series that much), in that most people loved the first movie and had issues with the second one (we won’t talk about the terrible third, that I’ve never seen and never will) but I’m the opposite. The first movie did make less changes to the source material, it’s true, but for some reason the changes they did make drove me nuts. And Insurgent (the sequel) had even more changes that made people mad, but I was oddly okay with these ones and preferred them (because I had a lot of issues with Insurgent the book and Tris in it… Though maybe I’d somewhat change my tune now. Because having Tris deal with the trauma of not being able to touch guns after one killed her mother probably would have been good to keep in the adaptation, instead of just making her full of rage and violence)… And sadly, these changes I liked did lead into the awful third movie becoming what it was…

I feel like most Phantom of the Opera adaptations are pretty bad in one way or another. But the one good thing they (arguably) have going for them, is how they always (mostly) make the Phantom sympathetic, the way that Leroux wanted him to be.

Beastly… Beastly’s a movie I don’t know if I love or hate, or if I’m somewhere in between with it. In some ways, I think them changing the ending–to it being simpler, and Kyle just admitting he didn’t think anyone could love him to a Lindy who finally admits that she does–does fit the story better… But at the same time, I also hate that they changed the original ending (though it is an alternate ending of it on the DVD, though sadly it’s acted horribly for some reason), where Lindy is kidnapped and held at gunpoint by the men who were threatening her dad and Kyle has to save her and gets hurt and nearly dies in the process (a closer version to the Disney ending). IDK. I’m really at a loss with this one. 

Maximum Ride is just… an abysmal movie. It is. There’s no other way to put it. And it’s so sad. But I guess what do you expect when it’s a Netflix one? But James Patterson was actually heavily involved with it… But then again, you look and see what he did to his own series via the books, is it really a surprise he fucked this up? The only good part in this movie is Max being so very much Max, when she has to go save the girl who’s being bullied–Ella–despite Fang telling her not to (ala the novel). That’s it.

Edit: I’m also adding Game of Thrones to this list, because while it did more than one thing right (arguably. Though it’s kind of hard for me to even believe that now), it’s clear that D&D never had a good grasp at all on some of the core stuff with A Song of Ice and Fire. Like, it’s not supposed to be as bleak as they made it. Yes: one of the messages is that being a good person can get you killed. But at the same time, one of the other messages is that if you’re a terrible person… no one will like you, and they’ll remember the crap that you do, and eventually they will get their vengeance on you. They also played down all the heavy symbolism, dreams, and prophecy that George has laid out in his books, because apparently “symbolism is for eighth grade book reports”. And they mishandled most of the female characters. Like, Catelyn is actually supposed to be a pretty good military strategist... and yet they changed most of her scenes into her crying about her children.

[firstpuffin]

Childhood reading: Redwall

When I was growing up I read a lot, like that’s all I did for long periods of time levels of a lot. Heck, I had a different book in each room of the house so I could put one down and pick up another. I don’t know why; I was a weird kid. But while I didn’t read books like Harry Potter or Skullduggery Pleasant (the latter of which seems quite popular but was published a bit too late for me), the books that I did read were pretty much my entire life and most definitely shaped me into who I am and there was one particular series that I thank for that.

   I adored the Redwall series, written by Brian Jacques up until his death in 2011; he consistently wrote this series on an almost yearly basis from 1986 until he sadly passed away. I must have stopped reading around 2005-6, and was recently very pleased to discover four more books that I never read, nor knew existed, assuming at the time that the series had been long completed. I say recently because upon realising that I want to write children’s fiction, I decided to revisit the stories from my youth. Earlier youth? I’m still pretty young.

  The series follows the history of Redwall abbey, a place of peace and prosperity. Every character in the series is an anthropomorphic animal along the lines of mice, otters, hedgehogs and squirrels, amongst more; these are usually the good guys and are often referred to as “woodland creatures”. This is important as there are also animals such as foxes, stoats, weasels and more that are called “vermin” and play the role of the antagonists. Despite being based around an abbey there is little to no religion within the world, except maybe for a high level of reverence towards the mouse patriarch Martin the Warrior and his sword, which could be similar to that of King Arthur. There is a lot of interesting terminology within the Redwall world, with characters saying “beast” (such as everybeast, somebeast, etc), the young abbeybabes are referred to as Dibbuns; Bloodwrath is a reoccurring term, usually in relation to a badger and is a sort of affliction that sends a beast into a rage where they are immune to pain and unaware of damage as they focus solely on their target. These words are always made clear and so there is little room for confusion.

   The ghost of Martin is a constant in the series where he appears in dreams to guide the characters through hard times. He often provides ambiguous clues to assist in whatever puzzle the story needs solving, puzzles and riddles and such being a common and engaging part of the stories. As this would suggest, there is a certain amount of supernatural within the stories, with seers foretelling the future and prophesies to be fulfilled; there is even a legend of a particularly skilled warrior who is said to be born every now and again, marked by a pink flower birthmark and who is called the “Taggerung”.

  I read all of the books that I could get my grubby little paws on, which is probably all of them that were released up until high-school where I got a bit distracted from reading novels. They were such an integral part of my life that I was shocked to discover that my classmates in the university creative writing course hadn’t even heard of the series outside of the, apparently quite bad, short-lived cartoon. The only other person who I found had read any was one of my lecturers. I was aghast, so in the hope of spreading the word about this series I am writing this.

   Now, one of my lecturers taught us about the, to put it politely, the faeces sandwich method of critiquing someone’s work. You say something nice, say the bad stuff and follow that up with some more positive; I like to add that if you can then try and suggest how to improve on the criticisms, even if it’s just how you would do so, then go ahead. If you can’t take criticism then don’t create. I figure that I’ve praised the series already so I’m going to bring up my criticisms here and go into the rest of the article positively.

   One issue that I remember being aware of even in my youth is the timeline of each individual story as well as them put together. Presumably due to animals shorter lifespans, Mr Jacques doesn’t work with years but with seasons which is in and of itself fine. The problem is that in any one story, the time isn’t always realistic; it can be less than a season and yet a character will learn years worth of skills, mature physically or emotionally by at least half a year or events may simply not match up with other events. One character learns to fix a stutter within a day or two or practicing (Broggle, The Taggerung, 2001); within less than a season another character goes from useless and untrained in weapons, to throwing a dirk with greater skill than those who have been throwing and such long before he was born (Tammo, The Long Patrol, 1997).

   Add to that, badgers live an unspecified amount of time longer than the other creatures; I don’t know much about animal lifespans but one badger can live for multiple generations of, say, mice. But because of this longevity, events that involve generations of badgers will sometimes throw a spanner into the clockwork of the world (See the badgers: Brocktree, Boar, Bella and Sunflash).

   Another complaint is one that may not be noticed by children: characters are very much recycled. The events of much of the series could in all honesty be done with the characters of the first book; many characters are inanely cheerful, they are all gluttons and all love poetry and rhymes. The villains are always impulsive and ruthless to their own subordinates, not a one of them thinking of controlling them via a less violent yet just as evil means. Every! Single! Hare is the same, except for one; male or female, they are greedy, reckless and brave and all, except the aforementioned one, talk like a stereotypical 1900’s Brit on drugs (wot wot old chap and all that tosh).

  Yet, and despite the length with which I have gone on about them, these complaints are minor. The stories themselves are generally solid, and although the growth may happen at an absurd rate, the characters do develop; there is always a puzzle to be solved and an enemy to defeat. I was concerned for a while that the world was a little too black and white with vermin always being straight-up evil and the other characters noble and brave, which could easily be seen as a form of biological racism (as in “this race is biologically evil”), yet there have been books where this has been turned on its head: The Bellmaker (1994) has a searat (basically a pirate and rats are always bad) who is taken in by the abbey and cared for by the reluctant creatures who are uncomfortable having “vermin” around yet are compelled by their sense of duty to help. After this rat’s captain kills one of the residents, the rat is furious at his actions towards the kind folk and kills his own captain and returns that which he stole to the abbey. It is a clear tale of how the right circumstances can allow a bad person to redeem himself.

   Another positive is the frequent presence of capable female characters. It is popular these days to talk of “strong” females, yet I personally believe that this gives people the wrong impression of what it takes to be a decent character, male or female, and so I choose to say “capable” in place of “strong”. While this is a personal preference, I also believe that it is more accurate about the characters within this series. Yes, there are females who break down in fear but there are many examples, such as the disabled Martha Braebuck who is also that unique hare that I mentioned, who will take command when others are fretting (Loamhedge, 2003). Another character who has been a personal favourite from childhood is Mariel Gullwhacker (Mariel of Redwall, 1991) who survives being washed up on a beach with no memory and who finds her way to safety and eventually seeks out revenge on the searat Gabool. For two books she actively follows her own path and fights with nothing but a knotted piece of rope. These are just two examples of different capable female characters, one who fights and one who leads, out of many possible examples.

  This next point could be either good or bad, depending on your preferences in fiction, yet I personally feel it is good for children’s books to cover, and that is death. It doesn’t happen in every book but it is not too unusual for Mr Jacques to build up a likable character or two, only to have them die in some noble fashion, or in one case to die “off-screen” or whatever the written equivalent is. Despite my own childhood reaction to this, being avoiding certain books that broke my heart (no spoilers), I currently believe that this is a positive thing to have in children’s fiction. It’s too easy to avoid anything like death when dealing with children, but that is an unhealthy attitude to have. The Redwall series is especially good in this regard as not only do likable main characters die, but it is not too unusual for a character to deal with shock and guilt after killing, reinforcing the value of lives, even those of “vermin”.

   I would like to round things up with some of my personal favourites from the series. The already mentioned “The Long Patrol” was a favourite up until the time when I stopped reading so much: young Tammo (full name Tamello De Fformelo Tussock, pretty typical for hares) is unable to stay at home as tensions between himself and his father rise and his mother recruits her old friend to take Tammo to join the Long Patrol, a legendary army of hares. What should have been a peaceful enough trip was interrupted when the vermin horde, lead by Damug Warfang, start moving across the land and Tammo happens to meet up with a small scout group of Long Patrol hares. They join the peaceful Redwall abbey in their attempts to stop the horde before they reach the abbey, temporarily vulnerable after a collapsed wall leaves them open to attack.

   I’m not entirely sure why I enjoyed this story so much; maybe it was Damug’s unique sword as well as Tammo’s dirk, my first introduction to that weapon. Maybe it was the badger warrior Lady Cregga Rose-Eyes who spends most of her time lost to the Bloodwrath and runs around as a near-unstoppable juggernaut. I can’t say as I wasn’t quite so keen upon revisiting it, yet I will likely always hold fond memories of it.

   My next entry is another already mentioned story, Mariel of Redwall. Sure, the amnesia trope might be a bit overused yet I’ll forgive that for anything published before 1990. Mariel is captured by searat king Gabool the Wild and forced to be a slave until she is cast into the sea. She wakes up parched, forgetful and with only a knotted rope to her name. She struggles onwards, hearing of Redwall and making her way there, usually alone but occasionally meeting friendly travellers and facing threats with only her rope. She eventually reaches Redwall abbey, regains her memory and sets out to get her revenge and to rescue her father.

   This entry to the series is an engaging story and I really like the character of Mariel, as well as her name. She is a determined and active character who goes through a lot of adversity and comes out the other side better for it. Gabool the Wild is also a typical example of a Redwall villain: while not all antagonists follow this pattern it’s not at all unusual for them to slowly go insane, losing sleep, not eating and failing to keep the loyalty of their subordinates. This is particularly good because in a one-on-one fight, Mariel isn’t an experienced enough fighter to beat a warlord, yet due to his strained mind, mutinous crew and tactics, the reader believes that she can succeed.

   My final entry is a tough one to choose, yet I’m going with Mossflower (1988) for it tells of the conflict that brought about the titular Redwall abbey. There are other books that tell the origin of Martin the Warrior, though Mossflower details his arrival in Mossflower country and how he joins the rebellion of the woodland creatures against the tyranny of wildcat royalty. Martin and a couple of friends are sent to find the badger lord Boar, who could lead them to victory. Instead, Boar forges Martin a new sword from a meteorite and has them return. Martin’s new sword is a constant throughout the series: unbreakable, forever sharp and able to cut through most things with relative ease, it develops a legend of its own and is eventually thought of to be magic. After Martin inevitably prevails, they all start building their new home: Redwall abbey.

   I chose this one for the final for it tells of the story behind many reoccurring elements within the story: Martin, his sword, Loamhedge and of course Redwall abbey itself amongst more. It is also a good story.

[kiwisfics]

Vampires and Assassins - Chapter 4

A/N - Guess who is watching The Greatest Showman for the tenth time as I write this? Yeah, that’s right, I’m Hugh Jackman trash. ANYWAY, as for triggers, the whole branding thing, but that should be it. As always, let me know if I need to add anymore warnings.

Summary: Kady Lason had dealt with enough in her life to think she deserved a pass when it came to the dangers of walking alone at night, but her bad luck doesn’t show any sympathy and she finds herself facing a world of myths as a captive. A world she would have never thought real doesn’t take long to reveal it’s vines tangled in her own world tighter than anyone would have guessed.

  I never understood romanticizing fire. All it offered was destruction and pain and I had plenty enough of those without fire perforating my life.   In a way, I'd come to see fire and men as one in the same. Both offered warmth and comfort until the moment you stepped too close, then you were burned.   Sometimes the flames exploded before you could even get close.   Like the one who had threatened himself if I didn't accept him.   Like the ones who had cornered me and offered nothing but heckling.   Like the one who'd grabbed me off the side of the road...

×

  I'd always been a fan of categorization and, when it came to my fears, I kept a list pinned to the front of my mind. The list had no shortage of ridiculous and pointless fears sprinkled throughout, but the top three were avoided like the plague to the best of my ability.   Men, fire, burns.   The fear for fires and burns came hand in hand, even though I'd never experienced the trauma of a large scale fire or horrific burn. My fear for burns was simply that. The pain caused by burns even slight raised a sickness in my stomach and made me dizzy and shaky, and that was accidental short-lived burns.   What they planned to do was in no way accidental and would—undoubtedly— leave a far more questionable scar than any and all other burns I had suffered.   Blood smoothie and self aware cattle: that was what I had been reduced to in the matter of hours and, despite the feeling of panic becoming a permanent fixture in my mind and body, anger was peaking once again.   Connor spent only seconds trying to pry me off of him, but I left my own marks in that time. If I couldn't dig my nails into all of them, by all means I'd give him the whole of my rage and fear.   I sunk my teeth deep into his arm before he finally pushed me onto a wooden table.   I was panting. My eyes darting around the room and the moment one of them moved, I was prepared to run.   But there were six of them.   I was hyperventilating, struggling to catch my breath and failing. The harder it became for me to breathe, the more panic began to envelope me.   Finally, Jacob tilted my head back and met my eyes, before his eyes flashed he placed a hand on my shoulder, preventing me from falling backwards when I went limp.   I twitched when the bottom of my shirt was lifted, my nails digging into the surface below me as I prepared to turn, but Connor quickly took Jacob's place, his own eyes doing nothing to dull the fear, but keeping me in place as the remains of Jacob's ability continued to still the fear if only slightly.   One of them ran their fingers over the area, numbness immediately following.   To be fair, they could have told me that was something they could do.   For all my thrashing and dramatics, I had to admit that the false peace did make the pain—what was left after the numbness—from the burn less extreme. I jumped more from the cold chill of the ice pack one of them pressed against my back after it was done.   Jacob was rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. Even though I was still aware that the calmness I felt was false, I couldn't say I didn't appreciate the gesture.   Even though I shouldn't. I knew that.   Its an act. Its an act. Its an act. Don't be stupid.   "What order are we going in?" My head snapped in Edward's direction—though snapped was probably an exaggeration in my exhausted and manipulated state.   "I'm first!" Jacob exclaimed childishly, tone and volume both earning a jump from me.   "Since we're sharing you, you'll stay with each of us for a week. On the first night, whichever one of us you are with will drink from you, the rest of the week you're free from any other responsibilities." Matter-of-fact. Altair had a blunt way of speaking, but, at least, that seemed to make him more truthful.   "Have to keep your strength up." Edward's words gained a huff, the most I could muster in response.   I was sure I made a face. The calm and numbness were both slowly wearing off, as they did, the brand began to burn more and the idea of being food for them was growing less and less desirable - enough to spark another panic.   Am I in a coma?   I jumped as Ezio clasped a hand on my shoulder. "You shouldn't worry about it, Bella. The pain only lasts for a moment."   That didn't change anything.   "Kady."   And whatever mark they'd put on my body didn't change the fact that I'd never give them the satisfaction of having me act the part of property.

×

  I was far from thrilled to meet their other slaves, but, knowing they weren't human, I was glad to know that there were other humans in the mansion. Not to mention other women being present at least made me feel less surrounded.   The group was split evenly between male and female. The men all seemed either completely uninterested in me or more interested than I appreciated.   I didn't need any more men beyond the six that now owned me giving me heart attacks, but I wasn't going to hide behind one of them as if they were any source of comfort.   I'd deal with them if any problem arose.   A few of the women offered me smiles, which I couldn't help but return. The smiles calmed me slightly, at least they didn't give me the unnerving look the women at the auction had.   Those at the auction had looked at me like I was competition. That wasn't something I was used to, considering I'd always been the ugly girl, not that it bothered me much anymore.    At least, it hadn't in the months leading up to my kidnapping, commitment frightened me enough, let alone commitment to a man. I was more than happy to avoid the attention poured upon other women.   A group of three girls that appeared to be around my age offered me nothing more than cold glares. I attempted to ignore them as my gaze wandered over the rest of the group, but when my eyes returned to them to find them still glaring daggers at me, I returned the look.   High school all over again.   "There won't be any fighting." Altair's voice didn't betray his words as anything more or less than what they were. That wasn't a suggestion or a command, that was a threat. His gaze was on the group of three at first, but soon switched to me.   As soon as his eyes moved to me, my head jerked in the opposite direction.   "That includes you." I nodded quickly.   Now I wanted to start a fight.   The line between fearing men and doing everything in my power to go against what they told me to do blurred sometimes.   Especially when I really wanted to plant my fist in someone's face.   "We need to go."   Confusion took the place of my dangerous thoughts as they all walked to the door. Ezio called over his shoulder for one of the other girls—Kelly—to keep an eye on me.   With that, they were gone.   As soon as they were out of the door, the group began to dissipate, the only exception being who I assumed was Kelly, the group of three, and a man who looked around my age.   Kelly looked to be in her mid-twenties and, despite the situation, she grinned at me genuinely. She held out her hand and I took it, unable to resist returning her smile with a nervous one of my own. "Nice to meet you. I'm sorry for the circumstances." Her smile fell slightly, but I wouldn't have noticed had I not learned to pick up on subtle changes such as it.   I nodded in agreement, though my attention had diverted itself to the group who, instead of glaring, were now whispering and pointing to each other. Considering all I had heard, I could make a fair assumption that the girls had been trained, I guess snootiness extends to all walks of life.   What was with these trained people? To be fair, they might not have been trained, but they bled the same aura of the auction girls.   "What's their problem?" I questioned, jutting my chin in the girls' direction.   Kelly made a sound between a snicker and a scoff, "They're jealous."   I raised an eyebrow.   Jealous? That was something.   Come to think of it, the men were attractive, but I must have overlooked that in favor of the concern of losing my freedom, and—of course—the small matter that I was literally a food source for them.   Blood smoothie. Blood smoothie.   Eventually that thought was going to slip into the open if I didn't cut it off.   I had far more important things to worry about than their looks—they were attractive though, I wouldn't lie.   "Just to be on the safe side—not that I think you can't protect yourself—" she was quick to assure me of such, flashing a nervous grin.   Category H.   What in the world was a category H? And why, if that was the cause, did it make her so nervous?   "-but," her emphasis on the word regained my attention, tearing it away from the momentary tangent,  "you should probably avoid them." Kelly glanced to the group and then back to me. "They were raised in this life and are used to the punishments, you on the other hand, aren't."    I felt a shiver go down my spine, but refused to show any indication of it, not when one of them could be looking. "They'll... punish me even if they start the fight?" That word put a bad taste in my mouth. This entire situation made me hyper aware of any word or statement that could be used for an animal and I didn't like it.   "They don't appreciate breaking up fights, and..." She glanced to the side and hesitated, I could tell she didn't think she should say what she was about to say, "Vampires in general are... possessive. They don't like anything they feel entitled to being... marked on by anyone other than them." She glanced back at me, clearly trying to judge my reaction, but her eyes betrayed the fact that something in that statement was a lie, but I could only guess at what.   Making the vampires that towered over my frame and could easily rip me apart—could they do that? Did I even want to find out?—angry wasn't the best idea, but a small part of me didn't care, at least, not when they weren't there. Some small part of my mind, that I was trying my hardest to ignore, kept reminding me that they had to have had a blood slave before me and what could have happened to make them need a new one other than the obvious?   I was going to die.   And, that being the case, why should I not go out by being the most insufferable version of myself I could?   I could start a fight.   I could run out that door.   "What are you thinking?" Kelly's voice was suspicious, maybe even a little nervous.   After being brought back from my thoughts, I was questioning them myself.   Hope for the best. Benefit of the doubt and whatnot.   This day had been too much. I needed to get some sleep before I really did snap and toss my life away.   What do you really have to live for anyway?   I gave my head a definitive shake to push away the thought before tossing a final glare of my own in the direction of the girls, "Is there somewhere I can take a nap?"   Kelly seemed relieved to be getting me away from the potential trouble that the group posed, her tense shoulders falling and clenched hands relenting. "You can use my bed, come on." She gently nudged me toward the steps, chatting to me about random things as she led me up them.

[isolctions]

🔪

send me 🔪 to put a knife to my muse’s throat and see how they react

“Ay’, bella, listen to me — ain’t nothin’ there! Won’t nobody in that room, an’ ain’t nobody tryna come get us again so take ya’ ass back to bed!” It’s the same argument she’s been having with the younger female since she was first allowed to take her home, and naturally, Izidora had expected and prepared for dealing with it a million times over. How could she blame her? In those two years they were separated, Izidora had no idea what kind of horrors her younger sister had to endure without her, but judging by the lengthy stay in rehab and medications that stacked a mile high, she knew that it’d been unspeakable — that is, until some kind of nightmare that Giselle woke herself out of ended up manifesting itself into something real in the girl’s mind. But this time, Izidora wasn’t sure how long her patience would extend in trying to convince her for this long, and every single effort to talk her sister out of psychosis and get her into bed had been pointless so far. In a moment’s frustration, Izidora turned away for just long enough to see Giselle dash into the kitchen instead, and quick to follow after her, her first thought had been that she was planning on hurting herself with the knife clutched in her shaky hands. “‘Elle…” Her mouth barely opens before the tip of the blade had pressed into the skin of her neck, and in a situation that would normally fly her into a rage, she couldn’t do that this time — not when the pain on her sister’s face had been more important to her than the possibility of dying, and she’s more concerned about that than anything else as Izidora cautiously placed her hands against the marks still littering Giselle’‘s forearms. “Carina…estamos bien ahora…no pueden lastimarnos más.” She whispers so that only Giselle could hear despite her screaming, gently gripping the girl’s wrists so that the knife lowered. “They fuckin’ dead now. All of ‘em. Ven, cariña, lemme put you in bed, aigh’?”

[bitchtricks]

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE is A DEATH EATER in the war, even though HER official job is as AN OBLIVIATOR. the TWENTY EIGHT year old PUREBLOOD is known to be ASSERTIVE and QUICK WITTED but also SADISTIC and HOT HEADED. some might label them as THE HELLFIRE. fc: olivia munn 

PINTEREST BOARD: (x) PLAYLIST: (x)

ANTHEMS:

HELLFIRE - BARNS COURTNEY // CALL ME DEVIL - FRIENDS IN TOKYO // DANGEROUS - MISS LI // HORNS - BRYCE FOX // WILD FIRE - DOROTHY // EVIL WAYS - BLUES SARACENO // WICKED GAMES - THE HOT DAMNS.

BACKGROUND / FAMILY:

Bellatrix Black came crashing into the world on the night before Christmas Eve. She wasn’t due for another four weeks, so her birth was a mostly unwelcome surprise --- but she was also the first child of Cygnus and Druella to carry on the Black legacy, which was an honor. A necessity.

After her birth, her father never really hid his disappointment --- it was no secret that a daughter was not what he had hoped for. He was an old fashioned man, and had prayed for a strong son, to bring glory to the family name. Bellatrix, small in size and eerily quiet as a baby, was far from that.

She became strong fast, because she had to be. The tiny infant who could barely muster a scream seemed like a faint memory, and was soon replaced by a mean toddler.

As a child, Bella was vicious. Biting, clawing, screaming and cursing were things she picked up fast, and she’d terrorize the other kids at the playground ( with an almost scary aim for her muggle born / half blood peers ). But she never hurt her sisters, and instead came to protect them.

Once she reached the age of six, she calmed down a bit, and instead started following her father around ( and was lovingly referred to as his ‘little shadow’ ). Eager to prove herself, she learned everything that a son of Cygnus would have learnt. She was determined to show her father that being a girl would not stop her from becoming worthy of the Black throne, to carry his name with pride. Over the years of her childhood and adolescence, Bellatrix forged herself into the golden girl, a respectable heir in the making. Desperate to wear the crown.

Most of her childhood was characterized by harsh words, strict rules and high expectations. Her family’s reputation weighed heavy on her shoulders, constantly pressuring her to excel. Luckily, she shared her parents’ ambition and values, and had no problems conforming to their rule. Which also meant that she could get away with much else.

She was close with her sisters, and even as a young girl, she would have gone to war for the both of them. She still would, for Narcissa.

HOGWARTS YEARS.

Bellatrix had been duly prepped before arriving at Hogwarts. She was the first of their children to walk the halls, so it was important to both Druella and Cygnus that Bellatrix knew how to behave. Who to fraternize with. Who to avoid. Who was worthy of her time. Her parents had also made sure that she already had the appropriate friends --- and play dates with other pureblood kids were a common occurrence when Bellatrix was younger.

During her Hogwarts years, she kept out of trouble. For the most part. Her problems with impulse control and uncontrollable rage got her into some fights. She was also known for mocking ( and occasionally jinxing ) muggle born kids. But mostly she kept to her fellow Slytherins, biding her time.

Took the following electives while at Hogwarts: alchemy, care of magical creatures, study of ancient runes.

Was in the charms club, the potions club and the dueling club. 

She was a beater for the Slytherin team during her time at the school, and was notorious for her cruel playing style and foul tricks. In her opinion, playing dirty was just part of the game though, so....

During her sixth year at the school, Bellatrix was recruited into the Death Eaters. With them, she found a second home.

AFTER HOGWARTS.

After graduating from Hogwarts, Bellatrix took a year off from her studies. The official reason was that she needed to “find herself”. Whatever the fuck that meant. Obviously, it was a lie to hide what she was really up to. In reality, Bellatrix was at Voldemort’s side, learning leglilimency and occlumency, all the while developing her dark magic and her shitty personality.

At the age of nineteen, Bellatrix found work as an obliviator. Though the choice had ultimately been hers to make, the dark lord was always whispering in her ear, encouraging her to infiltrate the ministry. The goal was to have sleeper agents of death eaters in every department once it was time to go to war. It also helped that becoming an oblivator just made sense --- fucking with the minds of muggles could already be counted as a hobby (albeit a twisted one), and she had always been good at taking things that didn’t belong to her... Memories would be no different.

At the age of twenty two, Bellatrix married Rodolophus Lestrange, and secured a worthy pureblood union for her legacy. 

Among the Death Eaters, Bellatrix is in the inner circle. She considers herself the dark lord’s right hand, and prides herself on being his most loyal servant.

AS A PERSON.

Bellatrix is a fucking shit show. She is deranged, a little bit unhinged, impulsive, angry as hell, childish, ruthless, playful, arrogant and lethal ( and she barely has a moral compass to speak of ). But she’s also calculating, focused, quick on her feet, protective, fiercely loyal, assertive and intuitive. Bella often contradicts herself --- she has grown up believing that it’s best to be cold and devoid of emotions, but she’s a highly emotional person by nature. She tries to suppress that as best as she can, but she usually boils over pretty fast. Other emotions are usually translated into anger as well, so that’s fun. I think the best way to describe her is that she’s just fire, always burning cold.

Most people probably suspect that Bellatrix is a death eater, because she’s not exactly subtle about it. She won’t outright SAY it, but she enjoys a game of cat and mouse, and will heavily imply... stuff. Especially to the aurors, who are her favorite people to taunt. 

Doesn’t have the most finesse. I like thinking of her as the Hammer™. Gets shit done, but not in the most Delicate or Intricate way. Intensely focused, and can control herself when needed, but she usually finds that it’s not.

STYLE / FASHION / APPEARANCE.

Bellatrix has jet black eyes ( resembling the pits of hell ) and the hair to match. It falls in messy curls over her shoulders, and she doesn’t bother with it ( and doesn’t cut it either tbh, so it’s very long ). 

Usually wears dark red lipstick ( to hide her sins && match the blood of enemies ).

Dresses mostly in black. Has to wear clothes that can fit into the muggle world while at work ( since she is often out in the field, interacting with muggles ). While there, she wears a well worn leather jacket ( with shoulder pads, in true 70s style ), and wide, black pants.

Files her nails into long claws, and paints them black.

Is tall.

CHARACTER INFLUENCES.

jamie moriarty ( elementary ) - so diabolical. so clever. so manipulative. the voice. the plans. the lethality. the determination. the curiosity.

glory / glorificus ( btvs ) - the insanity. the instability. the arrogance. the violence. the childlike temper.

villanelle ( killing eve ) - the brutality. the psychopathy. the immaturity. the quips. the game of cat and mouse. 

jennifer blake ( teen wolf ) - absolutely psychotic. the vindictiveness. always plotting. the ruthlessness. the righteousness. the ambition. never giving up.

klaus mikaelson ( tvd ) - the anger issues. the sadism. the coldness.

kilgrave ( jessica jones ) - the creativity. the multitude forms of torture. the brutality. the immaturity. the childlikeness. the sociopathy.

lilith ( supernatural ) - the childishness. the coldness. the playfulness.

drusilla ( btvs ) - the lunacy. the mind games. the viciousness. the erraticness.

cersei lannister ( got ) - the queen. the petty mindgames. the cruelty. the violence. the thirst for power.

helena ( orphan black ) - the fanatic. the determination. some of the mannerisms. the psychoticness.

faith lehane ( btvs ) - instability right below the surface. twists and turns. a little unhinged. easy to anger. likes violence.

mazikeen ( lucifer ) - the violence. the cruelty. the torture. the being a demon thing. the sadism. the confidence. the sarcasm. the class.

FAVORITE CHARACTER TROPES.

SLASHER SMILE - a smile in anticipation of pain or death // a cheshire cat grin.

THE DRAGON - a monster the hero has to get past to get at the big bad. the top enforcer.

TORTURE TECHNICIAN -  takes the heroes and turn them into screaming, shinned shambles. 

LADY MACBETH - frequently more crazy than her husband, quite the sociopath, in the business of turning men towards evil.

AX CRAZY - psychologically unstable, capable of extreme violence, known for insane laughter.

EVIL WEARS BLACK - duh.

THE BARONESS - a female baddie with a chilly disposition and more than a touch of the dominatrix about her.

WICKED CULTURED - evil is intellectual // basically an evil aristocrat.

THE CHESSMASTER - thinking three moves ahead at all times. manipulating, planning, plotting.

DADDY’S LITTLE VILLAIN - shares evil father’s ambitions and cruelty.

BERSERK BUTTON - always ready to fucking snap.

SOFT SPOKEN SADIST - occasionally. a monster who might describe just how horribly she's going to mangle you, while speaking in a voice that's anything but monstrous.

DARK ACTION GIRL - likes beating the hero to a bloody pulp. good at it too.

AMBITION IS EVIL - has grand plans. ends justify the means, always.

[takaraphoenix]

Phoe′s Book Report - City of Bones, pages 200-215

I know it’s not a lot of pages, but I already got a lot to say?

I don’t like book!Clary. I’m very, very, very upset about that fact. Like, really genuinely pissed.

There were literally only two reasons why I bought those books all those years ago. Jalec and Clary. I watched that movie when it first hit theaters and I squealed about the cute blonde twink and the tall, dark and handsome guy who was canonically in love with him? That was already a huge yes for me. And the other reason - maybe even more important reason - was Clary.

In a world filled with Bellas and Katnisses and I don’t even bother trying to remember what the chick from that Divergent stuff was called.... Clary seemed like a genuinely strong female lead. One not mainly defined by her love-triangle and by being an “unassuming brunette wall-flower who still ends up having everyone adore her”.

Show!Clary has her moments of being annoying - particularly in season 1 with the whining about everything and her blatant disregard and no-care attitude toward EVERYTHING that it means to be a Shadwohunter and how their world works. I cut her slack, because her mom just got abducted and she is thrown into this whole new world. That she doesn’t care about the rules of that world if those rules stand in the way of finding her mother, I can make that excuse and accept her annoying moments as her being a teenager at her limit.

Book!Clary so far... didn’t do much whining or disrespecting, which is appreciated. But aside from that, her character is just plain awful. She’s vindictive and petty and I find that to be disgusting character traits.

She doesn’t want Simon to trail after her like a lost puppy, but she’s rageful and spiteful when he trails after Isabelle. Even though she doesn’t want him, she also doesn’t want anyone else to have him. What kind of behavior is that? It’s what I cherished about show!Clary, because she was jealous yes but she was never vindictive about it and she never stood in Simon’s way.

Same goes for her relationship with Isabelle. Mainly, book!Clary is resenting Isabelle for having Simon trail after her and for being pretty. Literally, there’s an entire paragraph of Clary describing how pretty Isabelle looks - and the fucking paragraph ends with “Clary hated her”. What the fuck? Was this written by a middle-aged man who assumes that all teenage girls hate other girls for being pretty? That’s so painfully petty - and she just keeps doing it.

Show!Clary seemed to bond with Isabelle right from the start and when they had the “Let’s put on Izzy’s clothes for Magnus’ party!” scene, it was a friendly bonding moment. Now it was mainly Clary judging Isabelle for basically everything? Her clothes, her makeup, looking pretty.

Which brings me right to the next point. Clary’s extraordinarily fine-tuned gay-dar.

As above mentioned, Jalec is literally one of the two reasons I bought this book. So I have been reading it with shipper-goggles from page one. And so far, I have read nothing that indicated Jalec. Zero. Literally zero. There was that one tiny scene at the diner? Where Jace cuts Alec off and Alec just trails off. But... even that is something I do all the time when being cut off by friends, family, strangers. Not exactly too ship-worthy.

But for Clary, that was apparently already enough to read Jalec? Wow. That’s impressive. But she knows neither Alec nor Isabelle - not even Jace, if we’re being honest - enough to bring such a personal topic up. And she doesn’t even bring it up with Alec himself. She brings it up with his sister. Damn. You don’t care enough to get to fully know them but gossiping about Alec’s sexuality is totally something you wanna do? With his sister, at that. That’s just ridiculous.

I genuinely can’t tell if that’s just book!Clary’s character, or if it’s inexperienced writing on the writer’s part? In an attempt to cram exposition in?

Because just before that, we had that utterly expositional scene of her accidentally finding a photograph of the Circle. But not to worry, it’s only the Real Important Circle. Valentine, Jocelyn, Luke, the Lightwoods, Hodge, Michael Wayland. Everyone who, up to that point in the book, is important.

And between those two scenes, crammed in, the falcon story. As... a bedtime story. In the show, they had at least already gotten closer and it was in some sort of context. Here? “Oh, girl I’ve known for like five days, you can’t sleep? Lemme tell you a bedtime story about my childhood abuse so the readers will start to get a feel for me being vulnerable on the inside and broken from my past.”....

All three of those exposisitions having been crammed into those 15 pages I just read. That’s a ridiculous amount of exposition that wasn’t even attempted to be veiled in any kind of way.

So, yeah, I find exposition to be handled in a very... stumbling and awkward manner so far.

Romance too.

Aside from the ghost!Jalec that Clary is already seeing? The kinda-Climon of Clary being pettily jealous is a little painful. The Sizzy with its instant infatuation and Simon literally doing nothing else aside from following a pretty total stranger around..... a bit much. And the Clace is just weird. Like. I don’t even have other words for it aside from weird, to be honest? There’s clearly no romantic interest, there’s barbs and jibes being traded like pre-teens pulling on the pigtails of the girl they like? There’s Jace being an UTTER creep by waiting for her in her bedroom - on her bed - and going through her most personal belonging, her sketchbook.

So, yeah, I’m not too impressed by the book so far. I liked that it was slower paced than the story so far, but the show is at least attempting to put exposition where it makes sense and feels somewhat natural.

Not to mention, show!Clary is a hundred times more likable than book!Clary is so far and literally all the relationships - romantic and friendly - are so much more natural and nicer on the show.

This book in particular would benefit from a change of POV. In a way like Heroes of Olympus - but please not as badly handled as that; rather more evenly divided between the characters. But giving insight into Alec would make the Jalec feel less sudden, which I can NOT believe I’m actually saying. Getting insight into Jace would make the sudden bedtime story feel less creey. Getting insight into Simon would help make him feel less like a brainless puppy who just follows every pretty girl he sees.

I’m genuinely afraid of Malec at this point because multiple book-reading people of mine have already told me that show!Malec is so much better at communication than book!Malec and... show!Malec literally does? Not? Communicate? (I mean, I won’t let someone else’s opinion influence my opinion, but if people who are fans of both the book and the ship already say their communication in the books suck... then that does frighten me...)