#believe it or not I still haven’t seen season 5 or any of season 6 I���m purely going off fandom and clips

[igotthis-egg]

The more I think abt it the more season 6 Adrien’s appearance makes sense to me. Like yeah he was just orphaned he’s gonna be depressed. His dad was in control of all his model stuff and therefore appearances, so of course now that he’s gone he might not take care of his appearance as much. He’s experiencing a new loss, but a new independence that comes along with it, he may not exactly know what to do with himself now. While everyone is moving along and changing, getting older, he’s a bit stunted, stuck in this limbo time in which he needs to actually figure out who exactly he is.

So yeah maybe I do like the Justin Bieber cut. It’s grown on me

[steviewashere]

Words to Keep Us Moving (Chapter 1 of 6)

Rating: Mature CW: Implied/Referenced Non-Canon Character Death, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Animal Death—CANNOT EMPHASIZE THAT ONE ENOUGH, A DOG LITERALLY DIES HEED CAREFULLY Tags: Canon Divergence, Post-Season 4, Apocalypse AU, Vecna Apocalypse, Eddie Munson Lives, Steve Harrington Character Study, 5+1 Things, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Journal Entires, Amputee Steve Harrington, Disabled Steve Harrington, Worried Eddie Munson, Protective Eddie Munson, Protective Steve Harrington, Stubborn Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Pre-Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Getting Together, Steve Harrington Takes Care of Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Takes Care of Steve Harrington, Other Tags to be Added

This is a 5+1 fic, but only the first chapter so far. Five journal entries during the apocalypse/moments during the apocalypse, and one entry after the apocalypse. Please heed all content warnings, I am begging you.

Also on AO3 (because this is wicked long for a first chapter)

📝———————📝 The First Journal Entry: April 16th, 1986

I don’t know what I’m doing with this. I’m not much for writing. Fuck, I couldn’t even write an essay for my senior paper. Nancy had to coach me through eighty percent of it. But I’ll go insane if I don’t speak. And I’m being careful with my voice for now. Those demogorgon things are blind, but aware. They can sense the heat of our bodies, the sounds of our movement, the smell of our fear and our blood.

Many people I’ve had to rescue have ultimately faded into nothing. They scream and they cry and they shake. They get too close, they stray too far. They reek of sweat. Even though I tried to get them away, to get them back towards the safe houses, they weren’t savable. I tried, though. Believe me, please, I tried.

Hawkins may not be salvageable. I don’t think this town is meant for saving. We try anyway. There’s the safe houses, like I mentioned. One bordering the exit sign, that’s where they put the women and children. They being the feds, by the way. Didn’t make that clear, should do that by now. Anyway. There’s the safe house across from old Forest Hills; the victims from the sinkhole crevice tearing through the trailer park go there. And then the final safe house is Hawkins High.

Some of our group is between Hopper’s cabin and my house. Everybody is safe there. Eddie’s no longer in hiding, but he still sleeps down the hall from me. Max is out of the hospital, her old bed now taken up by an elderly woman; the woman will probably die—a demogorgon got her with its claws—and Max is with El. The Wheelers are with their parents in the exit sign safe house, same with Henderson and his mom, the Sinclairs are there, too, and Mrs. Hargrove. Jon and Will are here with Hopper, El, Max, and Joyce. I wish we could take Max back to her mother, but she’s under constant supervision—El believes her newfound blindness is connected to Vecna. Wayne is no longer at the high school, he’s been forcefully relocated to old Forest Hills, but he’s welcome around here any time. Robin’s with her parents at the high school; that’s where Vickie is, so that’s where she’ll be.

I haven’t seen my parents since before the earthquake. They were out of town on a business trip. Mom went with Dad because she still doesn’t trust him alone. They called me the day Dustin brought me along to find Eddie. Told me they were on their way home, were driving back from the airport. I can hear back the message on the answering machine, as long as I keep the generator up and running.

Mom told me she loves me in it.

I can’t help but think that they should’ve been back by now. I’ve checked with the soldiers on the edge, see if they saw a black Lincoln come through. Told me no. Told me they found remains of a car; a black car. I stopped checking after that. Couldn’t stomach the meaning behind that.

Our town is in ruin. I’m not alone, I have to remind myself. I’ll go out on monster hunting duty tonight, first time on my own. We’ll see how that goes.

I have to go, I can hear Eddie rousing. Time to check his wounds. Make sure he has his dose of antibiotics. See if he needs Tylenol; opioid free now…yay!

———— Steve closes the soft leather cover of his journal. He found it among the rubble of the bookstore in town. He’d been advised by Hopper to start writing because apparently his low morale “affects the monster hunting” and if he didn’t get it under control, he’d be reassigned to radio duty. Where Eddie is now.

Speaking of, Steve stands from his cramped desk and walks the short distance to the first guest bedroom on his floor. Knocks gently on the wood and enters without any other preamble.

Sitting in the spare desk is Eddie, hair ruffled and clothes messily strewn across his body. He spares Steve a glance over his shoulder. The bandage on his cheek is beginning to peel and Steve knows it’ll be a bitch to change; he always feels bad when he has to rip it off, it tugs at the raw skin and the little bit of facial hair Eddie’s still able to grow. Remembers, though, the joke Eddie had made about his situation: “Look, I’m freaking Two-Face from the comics! Think he grows half a beard, too?” He had to bite his tongue. Almost reprimanded the poor guy.

He blinks and Eddie’s still staring at him.

“How’s it goin’, Stevie?” Eddie murmurs. His voice has taken on an even deeper rasp than before. The demobats had taken a liking to his chest and the base of his throat, but Steve had been able to keep those wounds from being life ending. “You were pretty quiet in there.”

“Well, you know we have to be somewhat quiet,” Steve mock-whispers, “thought I’d use the…solitude to focus on getting in a journal entry.”

Eddie hums. “Glad you’re getting started on that. Don’t wanna be removed from surveying duty, yeah? You’d be stuck in here with dear old me. And let me tell you, sitting around and checking the stations is booorrring.”

Steve snorts. “Yeah, well, this is where you remain until you’re healed.” He steps further into the bedroom, clicking the door closed softly behind him. Settles on the guest bed on the right of the desk. Roams his eyes around the walls. “I’m doing alright, though. A little nervous if I’m being honest. About going out there alone. What if I don’t hear—“

“They’re letting you go out there alone?” Eddie squawks. “They should be sending out one of those adults, not you! You’re just a kid, Steve.”

Taken aback, not one to usually be concerned about, Steve crosses his arms over his chest and scoffs.

“It’s not like I have anything else waiting back for me, right?” Steve bites. “It’s my duty and I plan on going through and taking care of said duty. And if something happens, I’ll radio back. You’ll hear me. Someone’ll come running. I’ll be fine.”

Eddie eyes him for a moment. His big, brown eyes impossibly wider. A little wet. His face is pinched, frowning. There’s a moment where he opens his mouth to protest something Steve said, hesitating strongly, but he literally bites his tongue. Croaks, “And if you don’t radio?”

“I’ll radio,” Steve insists.

“Will you? Because the last time you were on duty and that happened—“ He waves a hand at Steve’s missing left wrist. “—You didn’t say anything until you got back. You’re fucking lucky Claudia was over here with Dustin. Else you wouldn’t have any sort of nurse or doctor available to sew you back—“

“I’ll be fine,” he harshly interrupts. He sighs, drops his arms, and swallows hard. Then, he blinks and looks back, leans into Eddie’s space. Brings a tentative hand to trace the edge of his facial bandage. “Have your hands been shaking?”

“Don’t switch the conversation—“

“Have your hands been shaking?” Steve repeats firmer.

Eddie sighs through his nose. Sharp. Annoyed. “Yes, Steve, but I can do this on my own. You don’t need to—“

“Just let me change it before I go, okay? Give me a little peace of mind before I head out.” He pets his hand down to the underside of Eddie’s jaw, to the side of his neck. His pulse welcomingly slow.

Their eyes lock. Eddie’s concerned, too much for Steve’s liking.

Though, finally, “Okay,” Eddie murmurs, “but you have to promise that you’ll be careful, you’ll be safe.”

“Eddie, I already—“

“Promise, Steve. You have to keep your head on your shoulders. You have to report to us if you’re in danger. You have to come back.”

“I will,” Steve promises, whispers immediately, “I will from here on out.”

And with that, Eddie opens one of the desk drawers, pulls out a package of gauze and bandage, and offers it out for Steve to take. He leaves the room briefly to wash his hands, returning with damp fingers. It was a quick, yet intimate procedure. Peeling away the wrappers. Laying down the gauze—right after a cleaning. Taping it all down, sticking it to Eddie’s sensitive, raw skin.

When he pulls back, finished, Steve’s stomach jumps with a new level of unease.

It was done. He could go.

He has to go.

“Jacket,” Eddie murmurs, his hands holding out for Steve’s. He takes them, of course he does. Voice still low, he continues, “Don’t make the mistake I did. Stay safe.”

Steve squeezes Eddie’s hands, nods, and stands from the bed.

He looks back at Eddie before leaving the bedroom, but not without a steel ball weighing low in his stomach. There is a wildfire in Eddie’s eyes. And the beginnings of burns along Steve’s ribcage. He knows, whatever is going to happen, that his promise wasn’t just words.

It was a testament.

A confession.

He descends the staircase, grabs his jacket by the front door, zips it all the way up to the base of his neck, and leaves with his baseball bat and car keys.

———— The two way radio is heavy on his front left pocket. Sagging down the waistband of his jeans. There’s an empty chunk of his jacket sleeve that dangles down and rustles against it, he stops all movement to tie it up.

He was assigned to the scrapyard. Hopper’s orders.

Oddly enough, it was the only location in Hawkins to have very rare activity. Despite the history he shares with the place. But he knows what to do. There’s a jerry can of gasoline and a bottle of vodka in his trunk, a packet of matches in his jacket, and the weight of his splintering baseball bat in his grip. He’s silent as he walks through the bits and pieces of junk. Carefully dragging his feet over the loose soil, cautious about accidentally kicking a chunk of metal.

It’s so quiet, he can hear the wheeze of his breath. As he takes another step, standing parallel to 1984, there’s a sound that echoes through the breeze. A singular pained whimper. At first, he believes it to be a figment of his imagination. Nobody else should be out here. There’s cracks in the ground and fiery red sky oozing through the trees. A shimmer of early evening light and a plume of wind-wild smoke.

He hears it again, though.

This time, however, it’s followed by the rumble of a low growl. Unlike the chittering of a demo-creature. This sound belongs to something like a domesticated animal.

A dog, he recognizes, A dog.

Before he follows the sound, he turns back to where he discreetly parked his car: behind the concave of that rusted bus. Wriggles with the trunk until it just barely creeks above his head. Snatches up the vodka and the gasoline, tucks his baseball bat into his left armpit, and he shuffles back towards the source of the noise, the dog.

It follows out to some various, tumbleweed-esque bushes. He hides behind the nearest junk car, eyes narrowed above the hood. It’s a brown, thin-skinned, almost just bones puppy. Probably around six months or so. A mutt—some sort of lab mix. The eyes are wide, teary, dark brown, and frightened.

The dog cowers against a bush. And right in front of it is a small pack of demodogs. Three of them. Wide mouthed and snarling. There’s large globs of saliva leaking from its lower jaw, or what would be a lower jaw to a human. They’re not very big, roughly around the same size of this puppy, but they are muscular, leathery, and hungry.

He’s not sure what exactly his game plan is. But he knows he has to do something before this dog is consumed for all it is—all it isn’t.

Around him, he spots an empty, glass bottle. As quietly as he can, eyes pointed at the hard soil under his feet, he lays out his equipment. Sits down with his legs straight out in front of him. Ears alert for the dog—whimpers raising in volume, growling trailing off into an absolute nothingness. He sets the bottle upright onto the ground, squeezed together by his knees. Bites down on the twist cap of the vodka, rips it off with his teeth, and shakily pours the contents into the glass. Though, he realizes he doesn’t have a rag to put in the bottle’s opening.

Being careful once more, Steve fidgets with the tied wrist of his jacket. And begins, quietly on top of the whimpers, to tear away at the fabric. Until, finally, he’s got a scrap to stuff limply into the bottle. He wets the sleeve with a bit of the vodka. Then, he lights a singular match.

He places the wood end of the match between his lips, stands from behind the car with the bottle in his one hand, lights the jacket sleeve. And with as much force as he can, he chucks the glass at the demodogs.

It’s fast to occur. The dry bushes go up in bright orange flames. Red sky becoming one with the glow. From the barely interrupted silence, screeches and chittering and snarling erupt. The fire dances in the dog’s eyes. Demodogs melting, dropping to the side, falling silent and smoking.

Steve spots it, then. The wound on the dog’s gaunt side. Fresh blood, crusted brown stains around the edge of this bite, entire chunks of skin and muscle gone.

He realizes, when the silence surrounds him again sans the crackle of going out flames, that it was all no use. There was no point. It couldn’t be saved. He drops his arms to his sides. And watches the flames die out right in front of his eyes. The dry grass now brittle and black. The dog just as brittle, near death.

A glance around shows no other demo-creature. Hastily, he crosses to the bushels, yet slowly, he approaches the fading, cowering puppy. Crouches to be on the same level.

Clicking his tongue and snapping his fingers, he calls out. “C’mere, baby,” he coos, “c’mere, puppy.” However, it’s too weak to move. Too weak to run. So it just stares at him. Wide brown eyes and puzzled absent eyebrows. Fast, rattling breaths through its nose—ones that come from an organ deep exhaustion.

Startlingly, it reminds him of Eddie. He nearly throws up at the realization. Instead, however, he finishes his approach and settles close to the dog’s head. Gently, he lifts it into his criss-cross lap. The dog barely weighs anything between his legs. Its eyes drooping, exhausted. Its fur is greasy, and the skin dry under his good hand. But he doesn’t mind. All he does is comfort it, pet the curve of its skull, thumbs at the base of its ears, traces the wet edges of its nose. The only sound it makes is a gentle, giving-in wheeze of breath.

And as Steve runs his hand one more time over its skull, the dog passes on.

A quiet, ordinary thing. Its eyes going far. Chest caving with its last breath. Not another sound. Not another movement. An ordinary death with an ugly, unusual circumstance.

His lap pools with warm blood. It’ll congeal, stain, never rid. But he doesn’t care, for once. Instead, he lifts the dog over his shoulder, stands on trembling legs, and finds an unoccupied, untainted spot of grass. He lays the dog down into the overgrown weeds. And digs, uncoordinated and sloppy, into the oddly warm, consistently dry dirt. The soil gives way in clumps. Chunks of it getting stuck underneath his fingernails. Palm collecting the dirt into each of the fine lines of his palm.

It’s not a great hole. Only about a foot deep—too shallow. But he rolls the dog into the well he created. Closes its eyes with his one hand. And covers the body back up. Resting, now, on his dirtied knees in the aftermath of destruction. The smell of burnt flesh and dead grass filling his nostrils. Looking around at the scenery: scraps of rusted metal, yellow weeds, demo-corpses, and an ashen circle where rotting meat lays.

He’s not sure how long he sits there. How long he lays his palm over the textured mound of dirt in front of him. How long he grieves a dog he had no connection to. But when he gets up, dusk is settling in. And he figures, with no other activity and nothing else to look out for, he’ll head back.

He grabs the two way from his pocket. Switches to Eddie’s channel. Presses down on the talk button. Speaks low and nasally, “This is Steve. Report to Chief that there were three demodogs. None of them were fully grown; all small, hungry, bloodthirsty. I lit them up. Over.”

“Hear you, Steve. Report on supplies? Over.”

“Half of a bottle of vodka. Gasoline can full. I have a full pack of matches, except for one. But I think it would be a good idea if we collected empty glass bottles and rags. Over.”

The radio reads silent for a lull of two minutes.

Eddie speaks again, softly,“Come home. Over and out.”

———— His front door was already unlocked by the time Steve came through.

It should’ve startled him, really, it should’ve. Though, with the flash of that dog behind his eyelids and the odd fatigue that overcame his limbs, he barely even cared. But the lights throughout the first floor were dim. And the noise of the radio in Eddie’s room floated down the stairs like an early autumn breeze. It was almost sweet, when he eventually came across Eddie in the kitchen, but his stomach was nearing sour.

“I made dinner,” Eddie murmurs as a greeting. He’s standing at the stove, back towards Steve. “The rations that Wayne dropped off earlier had some stale bread and a jar of minced garlic. Thought I’d just make some shitty garlic bread with whatever spaghetti stuff I found in your pantry.” He looks up from the stovetop, then. His hair is sitting atop his head in a barely neat bun, but it’s enough. And he has Steve’s mom’s apron tied around him—covering a plain black t-shirt and a pair of red basketball shorts Steve had loaned him at the start of his stay. Eddie’s eyes widen when he takes Steve in, though.

There are no more words. Eddie’s mouth is open, dried up. And Steve doesn’t know if he can speak—not without tears, at least.

Finally, ever observant, Eddie gestures loosely to Steve’s clothes. “You’re sleeve…you’re pants…”

Steve has to swallow harshly. His right hand is clenched tight to his thigh, and if he still had the other one, he’s sure it would shake noticeably. But he stays rigid to the entryway. Thinking long of the dog. Of its last expression.

Of Eddie’s expression now.

He figures it odd, to be so hung up on this mutt’s face. The haunting that places itself in the small spaces between his ribs. Every single time he’s involved himself with these day-to-day nightmares, he hardly ever considered mortality. Unless it leant itself in the face of everybody else, in which he constantly and greatly considered life or death. In which he knew that it would be him under the knife; never one of the kids, never Nancy or Robin, not Eddie now, not even Jonathan. There were also several moments where he blearily considered morality—the hard set lines of its face and the ugly snarl to its lips. He always thought of himself last in these things, almost like he was repenting—if he put himself in the shoes of his younger self, starchy clothes, and a thick youth’s bible in his hands. Bad things mean bad results, he always considered.

But the dog had no common understanding of morality, let alone mortality. It probably dragged its heels when being pulled along its leash, being led somewhere it never wanted to go. It probably had a family who adored it to the moon and back. It probably was told it was good every minute of its sheltered life, fed dog bones, held close in the darkest point of evenings, and scratched soundly and contentedly between its ears.

And on top of that, he can’t stop ruminating over the striking resemblance the puppy held to Eddie’s own tired, desperate, dying face. His big button eyes and the blood across his body. The open wounds and the dried tears on his cheeks. There are two questions in his hands: Had the dog considered running away, or did it know that the demodogs was its fate? If so, did it die selflessly, or did it die to escape something greater?

He wonders if Eddie answered those questions before facing the demobats.

Eddie’s in his kitchen though, wooden spoon at his side, trembling to take a step forward.

At last, Steve croaks, “I buried a dog today.” He unfurls his fist and reaches out his shaking, dirty hand.

“Steve,” Eddie breathes.

“It—The demodogs were hunting it, Eds. I…I had to save it. I had to save the dog. I don’t know why, but I just…I had to. I set them on fire,” he explains, loose lipped and tumbling, “even when the fire died, the dog was still scared. I came close to it. And it wouldn’t run. I wanted it to run away. I wanted it to get to safety, but I noticed while the demodogs literally—“ Steve inhales, a hiccup, a gasp. “—A huge gaping bite on its left side. I could see its ribs. I could see where the blood began to dry up. So I put it in my lap. I pet it. It died.”

The spoon is settled softly on the granite counter behind Eddie. He approaches Steve slowly. Arms out, fingers spread wide. Steps into Steve’s orbit, but lays his palms on his shoulders, the trembling aching joints. Eddie’s thumbs begin working away at the tension. Before he can say anything, Steve speaks again.

“I buried it as far down as I could dig. And I just sat there, unsure of what to do.” His eyes burn and his throat stings. He shakes in his rigidness. So Eddie leads them to the dining area, settles Steve into a chair, leaves momentarily, and approaches again, now with a warm, wet rag in his hands.

Steve’s dirtied palm sits skyward in his lap. Eddie picks it up deftly, running the soft, worn side of the rag over his palm. The water probably won’t do all it needs to, the tap was apple juice colored, pipes having burst or flooded with sewer in the earthquake. They should use a ration of bottled water, but that would be a waste, Steve considers. So he lets Eddie work. Silently, gently.

He does it methodically. Working harder in the fine lines of Steve’s palm. Digging the cloth into the underside of each fingernail. Going by with another pass, crumbling the stubborn clumps. His breath deepens, sighing through his work. “I’m sorry you had to do that, Steve,” Eddie breathes. “Somebody should’ve been there—“

“The dog made me think of you,” Steve chokes out. He swallows back a pained whimper. Eddie halts all his movements and looks up startled. His wide eyes not scared, but too similar. “How you looked when…I just couldn’t leave it there to die.” And at that, Steve finally lets the tears spill over. He doesn’t make a sound, biting down on his tongue to make himself as silent as possible. But he shakes from shoulders to knees. Sipping air through his nose.

Steadfastly, Eddie maneuvers them so that Steve is burrowed deep into his chest, right ear over Eddie’s heart, nose smushed underneath his clavicle. Eddie strokes a hand down his back, wraps another around Steve’s forearm, above his absent wrist. Shushes him with whispers; the syrupy soft ones, the ones meant to soothe, but otherwise a babble of nothing. Of “You’re okay,” and “I’m okay,” and “You did okay.”

It works, eventually. Steve wrung out. Eddie shaken to his core.

They pull back from each other. The rag is run softly over the tear tracks on Steve’s face, cutting through a sheen of light dirt he didn’t know was there. Eddie murmurs, close to Steve’s tendered eyes and chewed lips, “Eat some dinner, okay? I’m going to put a call over the radio. And when I come back down, I’ll clean up and we’ll lay in your bed, alright?” Steve minutely nods and lets Eddie get him some food, mourning the touch he gave almost immediately.

And when Eddie’s upstairs, he hears, drifted from the opening of the guest room, “No more putting Steve on duty alone. That’s final. Over and out.”

The chattering static of the radio cuts out after that. Steve realizes he meant what he said. They’ll go to bed. Bodies close. Warmer, ever warmer.

But that dog will still be dead and buried.

📝———————📝 Taglist is open for this fic!! (Comment to be added <3)

[deathsmallcaps]

I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.

1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.

Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.

2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.

3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.

4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.

5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.

6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.

7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.

8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.

9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.

A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.

B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.

C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.

10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.

Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.

Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.

Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.

[im-out-of-it]

season 2, episode 10 AKA MALECS FIRST I LOVE YOU “by the light of dawn” discussion post

before I start I want to add these

I can’t take clary’s crying lmao

also I missed doing the season one Alec and Magnus posting (not the big one, that’s still a work in progress meaning I haven’t started)

and mags was so pretty in last episode plus GO MAIA GO

this episode is super jammed pack and will have a bunch of parts. I’m estimating 10 but I’m usually far off so who knows. it’s one of my favorite episodes because this is the first time that Alec and Magnus tell one another they love each other. so it’s going to be A LOT so let’s get started

MADZIE (looks like we’re starting off right) (and also Alec being everything)

2. MADZIE PUSHED ALEC OUT OF THAT WAY like she said I don’t like any of y’all but Alec made me smile once so I like him. SHE FUCKING SAVED ALEC AND YES IT MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. the bond madzie + Alec + Magnus + Catarina have is unreal. I just love how the three of them protect madzie from on this point

3. use those shadowhunter muscles Alec

4. I love how Alec is knocking on the elevator and yelling madzie. I’m sorry Alec but she is trying to keep you safe

5. I also love how Alec is the only one who knows she’s a warlock and the other shadowhunters are like what’s a child doing here?????

6. they’re all getting the madzie treatment and Alec is like hold your fire, she’s just a kid 🥹

7. I’m sorry I just love how she only saves Alec’s life. Madzie is being used and I’m sure she knows this but if she’s going to protect anyone, it’s going to be the nice gentle guy who made her smile and told her cool gills 😭

8. I know I shit on clary a lot but I like seeing her worry about Simon and actually care about him

9. and I think she cares about him but she doesn’t love Simon the way Simon loves clary. if she did, she wouldn’t of kissed jace in the fairy court

10. calm down clary, the last place you should go to is the institute

11. and here continues valentines plan

12. because once again, let’s trust the villain at his word 🙄 but I feel for dot. she’s been tortured and prodded with needles and whatever else Valentine has used on her. but it’s still insane to trust a villain at his word

13. my issue with this theory is that we have never seen jace turn into a demon like the way jonathon does in Jocelyn’s vision. he’s not once killed a flower or had his eyes turn black. so even if you say this is what I overheard, that’s hearsay. we haven’t actually seen jace be this demon but jace clary dot have taken Valentine at his word and believed every word that comes out his mouth

14. Magnus: I don’t believe you let me see

15. “this vision seems to be speaking of a demonic morgenstern”- I get why Magnus made that leap BUT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN JACE TURN INTO A DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!! and I get that they don’t know that there is valentines son out there because they have us believing it’s jace but it still doesn’t match up to what we hear and what we see. like you’d think after 10 years, that he would slip up and Alec and Izzy would see something but they didn’t because he’s not the demon the vision is about. I bet Valentine is having the time of his life tricking them all lmao

16. no, this is actually brilliant of valentine because you’re doing the work for him

17. Izzy: Alec just doesn’t get that we are in love (yeah in love with blood and getting high izzy) okay but that scene is so cute. I wish they would’ve given them a chance at being a couple. you can still date if you’re asexual. it would’ve been a great transition from Izzy using her body at times to get what she wants (early season one with meliorn) to dating someone where it’s not about sex, and it’s an emotional connection. I don’t know if the writers thought if you’re asexual you can’t date but this seems another wasted opportunity

starting the second part for today ✨ I was going to release them all at once but that’ll be a lot so I’ll try to release a few a day

[dorothytv10]

A love letter to Bughead shippers!

*Warning: this is very very long, so only continue reading if you have time to spare 😜

I haven’t been part of the Bughead fandom since the beginning of 2019. I watched the show in chronological order until the end of season 3, then binged season 4 during covid lockdowns, but refused to continue with season 5 onwards. But over the past few years, I have kept up with spoilers and watched s5-7 episodes sporadically. I just couldn’t take the show seriously when they had Betty cheat on Jughead, then do a random time jump and turn the show supernatural. It was jarring!

I still remember the first time I started shipping Bughead. Let’s start from the beginning:

I had seen ads for Riverdale about a week before it aired, and decided to give it a watch purely because I am such a sucker for murder mystery style shows. That was the catalyst. I also have a tendency to invest in CW shows because of how heavily they push shipping, and romance is another genre that I cannot get enough of. I remember watching the pilot episode and thinking this whole Betty & Archie storyline is just NOT compelling nor did I feel the actors and their characters had any romantic chemistry. It just felt forced and awkward, especially watching Betty get rejected. I thought she was way too good for him, and if he couldn’t see that in all the years they were friends, then he ain’t the right guy for her. But some part of me just expected them to be the main love story of the show because that’s such a predictable trope in teen dramas. So even though I didn’t feel any part of my shipping senses tingling, I decided to continue with the show for the mystery part, and accepted that the romance would just not play a factor in my interest. But boy was I wrong! The following week, I watched episode 2, and the show just felt different. Jughead was featured more heavily and finally shared the screen with Betty, even though no dialogue was exchanged. But I remember thinking to myself, “Jughead and Betty would be so cute together”. During the week after episode 2 aired, I remember their season 1 kiss from episode 8 leaked online: the one outside FP’s trailer. I saw that one scene on Twitter and was instantly a Bughead shipper. I couldn’t believe that I got my wish and Betty and Jughead were going to have a romance. Riverdale went from “a show I’ll watch when I can be bothered to a must watch show that I will not dare miss an episode of”. Episode 3 started getting promoted online a lot, and Betty and Jughead were shown to interact in the trailer; I was hooked. I couldn’t wait for the next episode! It became an obsession. I even joined tumblr and met so many amazing fellow Bughead shippers. It was such an exciting time, waiting every week for a new episode to drop to finally see them get to that ep8 kiss, which I foolishly believed was going to be their first kiss. But episode 6 threw us all a curveball and had Jughead kiss Betty and call her Juliet in the same scene. I literally had butterflies. I hadn't felt that strongly about a ship in so long!

I was a big part of the early Bughead tumblr days. We were a force to be reckoned with. Each episode, our fanbase grew bigger to the point where we were the most popular ship out of every show airing at the time.

But as much as I wanted Bughead to be endgame, there was always this part of me that worried she’d inevitably get with Archie because that was so clearly what RAS shipped in the comics. I do believe Bughead lasted as long as they did because of how big and strong their fanbase was. Also, the real life romance between Cole and Lili always played a huge role in their onscreen coupling, too. That doesn’t diminish how beautiful their love story was in the show. But unfortunately, I think it is the truth. I have seen it so many times in teen drama shows. The head writers always seem to ship the pilot episode ship: Dawson and Joey, Stefan and Elena, Lucas and Peyton etc. I’m using examples of previous teen love triangles.

As much as RAS loved Bughead, and wrote them such beautiful content, he always had one foot pedalling on B*rchie. It was inevitable that at some point they’d want to explore them, especially because they had placed little clues all throughout the first few seasons. But as long as Cole and Lili were together, the show was never going to be daring enough to go full steam ahead with B*archie. Bughead was too popular and so was the real life romance. It would have caused riots. But alas, like every CW actors who date, they broke up. And what happened? They were kept apart for the remainder of the show. It was Delena all over again :(

Whether the rumours are true about the two not being able to work together, only they truly know. But I think it’s a mix of a lot of things, including new writers who were clearly all for the other ship, or in this case, the other shit. I don’t want to insult anyone, but the Riverdale writers are some of the most incompetent writers in the industry. Their inability to maintain continuity, and all the contradictions and character assassinations they created, we had no hope in s5-7. It became a whole new show. It simply lost its spark, which was already quite dim after how they handled the cheating arc in season 4. There was a huge tonal shift, and our favourite characters acted OOC.

So here’s what I really want to say:

I officially stopped watching Riverdale when they decided to jump the gun and have Betty cheat on Jughead with Archie. If you’re a Bughead shipper, it’s completely justifiable to be disappointed and sad about the way Riverdale ended. It’s like when people talk about that one person who got away, that’s how Bughead is to us: it’s the ship that got away, and never came back. To be fair, the show was no longer what it started out as. When you start off as a teen drama show promoting thriller/mystery as your main genre, only to shift gears in later seasons and become supernatural and sci-fi, there’s really only one way to explain the show in a cohesive and logical manner: it’s either all inside one of the character’s imaginations or it’s a multiverse with totally new characters who are the doppelgänger/counterparts of the original characters we knew in the beginning. So it no longer really counts. I don’t think we will ever get any definitive answers and closure from RAS nor the cast about why Bughead was completely abandoned after they broke up on the show, but I’m going to give you my take on how I think the last episode played out. Take it as you want, but I am a budding writer myself, and from a writer’s point of view, this is my theory on what really happened to Bughead in the end…

Consider the show a multiverse at this point. Remember that line Jughead said to Betty in 4x17? “in what future are we not together?”

It’s the same episode she cheats on Jughead. My theory is that the show shifted into another universe/timeline (whatever you want to call it) to show us the versions of Betty and Jughead that don’t have a future together. By her kissing Archie, she irrevocably changes the course of her relationship with Jughead. So that’s what we are shown, a new world where Betty kisses Archie and she and Jughead split and don’t end up back together again. And what is this new world? It’s really dark!

Bughead had been referred to as Romeo & Juliet, soul mates and endgame in the earlier seasons. That’s exactly what they are. But what are Romeo and Juliet referred to? Star-crossed lovers. No matter what, they could never be together. But I’ll get back to that later on.

In my opinion, there are 3 universes shown to us in the show’s run:

1 is the prime universe and original timeline in which Bughead are together and endgame. No cheating takes place. They are still in high school and will continue to date after it and make it work. But we’ll never get to see it unfold because from the end of s4 onwards we are in the other universes.

The second universe is the one where she ends up with Archie — Rivervale or Riverdale 2, but they all die in the end when the comet wipes them out of existence 👀

And the third universe is Riverdale 3.

Seasons 1-4 are set in the prime Riverdale universe.

Then season 5-6 are set in the second universe— Rivervale/Riverdale 2. My opinion is that even after 6x05, they never really left rivervale. Bunker Jughead just wrote it differently and called it Riverdale.

Then season 7 is set in the Riverdale 3 universe.

The Rivervale universe has all the magic and supernatural elements to it, which technically began in s5 with Cheryl performing magic. Rivervale is the darkest universe and timeline of the 3. Riverdale 3 universe is the most tame and fun of all the 3 universes. It’s the one where the characters behave like actual teens and don’t have serial killer fathers, cults, gargoyle kings and evil warlocks tormenting them. Riverdale 1 universe is the most realistic and grounded of the lot, albeit some weird storylines did occur during seasons 3 and 4, but it’s the universe that has both light and dark inside it like real life. Tabitha confirmed there is a multiverse in 7x19 when she said she couldn’t untangle “all” the timelines and instead made them into a single one. But even though she gave them back their memories, these versions existing in the 50s/Riverdale 3 universe are really not the original characters. This theory is proven by how a lot of dead characters are alive in this universe and how Tabitha has another version of herself living in this one.

The one single timeline she is talking about is that she gave them all the memories from every universe so they can live their lives with the knowledge of their other selves. Especially when having to navigate the 50s. They are variants (Loki reference) of the originals who now have the same memories (not all the memories) but haven’t actually lived the same lives. That’s why none of them aged and are still teens in high school; it’s also why they no longer have super powers and magical abilities. Same memories, but different bodies and souls.

So going back to endgame talk: in Riverdale 3, the universe which all of season 7 takes place in, including the final, Betty and Jughead weren’t technically endgame, but they were treated as star-crossed, just like Romeo & Juliet. They couldn’t be together because all of their memories from every other universe/timeline they existed in were now a part of them and it was too convoluted of a situation to actually make sense of in their heads, so they just all dated one another. In this new Riverdale 3 universe, Betty has feelings for both Archie and Jughead because she has the memories of both universe 1 and universe 2 Betty inside her, so she can never really choose between them. Instead, she chooses herself.

Jughead never marries because the girl he has always loved in every universe didn’t want to get married, so he didn’t want to settle for just anyone. Archie moved on because Betty was never the love of his life in all 3 universes.

Ask yourself this, why did Betty tell Reggie that she remembered what being with Jughead felt like, and that’s why she chose to be a part of the quad? Why didn’t she feel this way about Jughead in s6 (Rivervale/Riverdale 2 universe)? Wasn’t it strange that she just seemed to forget she was ever with him? It’s because it was a different timeline/universe, one in which Betty only loves Archie. That is why Jughead has that moment in season 6 episode 14 with that flashback montage of him and Betty, it’s him remembering their relationship from universe 1, something he isn’t really aware of in the Rivervale/Riverdale 2 timeline. The reason for them not remembering is because Bunker Jughead from Rivervale has written them to forget their past together. My theory for why he did that, is after the bomb went off in 6x05, part of the deal was that bunker Jughead make Betty forget being with him completely just like she had to forget that he sacrificed himself to save the universes. He retconned their story so she could move on and he could continue writing away from her with no distractions. Rivervale’s Bunker Jughead loves Betty, as confirmed by Ethel. Which brings me to the final part of this theory…

I think bunker Jughead is the same Jughead that appears to Betty in the final episode as her guardian Angel. He’s OG Jughead and has been writing an anthology all along. There is a reason the show is so heavily focused on Betty. She is the main character in Jughead’s story! In S1-4 he is chronicling his love story with Betty, kind of like an autobiography or diary of them and how they’re an investigative duo. In S5-6 he ventures into writing sci-fi and supernatural stories. Finishing up in s7 with historical fiction.

The angel Jughead in the series finale is the writer, the narrator and the version of Jughead that Betty loved most as evidenced by what he wore. He exists in all 3 universes, like a time-traveller of sorts. He’s the writer and narrator in Universe 1, the bunker writer in universe 2 and the guardian Angel in universe 3. But he took his version out of the story these last few seasons to show the audience a future with no Bughead, and instead wrote a version of Jughead that doesn’t pine after Betty and one that had a different girlfriend. That’s why when universe 3 Betty asks him on the park bench if he regrets never getting married, he says sometimes. Because he sometimes regrets never writing the two of them getting married in this universe. But he couldn’t because his version of Jughead wasn’t the main Jughead he was writing about in this story.

In the end, his universe 3 story wasn’t about Bughead, it was about Betty and wanting to give her everything she dreamed of, even if that didn’t include him. He wrote her a world where she didn’t have a serial killer father, where her sister was still alive, where she and Veronica were best friends, where Betty could enjoy her youth and explore her sexuality without having to choose between the two boys she was always torn between. He wrote her as a writer and a successful career woman rather than an FBI agent chasing down murderers and putting herself in danger. He wrote her as adopting a daughter that wasn’t at risk of inheriting the serial killer gene. He wrote a world where she got to be a normal teen and not have to investigate homicidal maniacs all the time. She got to go to school dances, drink milk shakes at Pops and hang out with her friends. She was able to repair her damaged relationship with her mum and find peace. She was a liberated woman with a strong voice who made a difference in the world.

So why did the show end with this version of her? Because it’s a way to show Betty finding peace and strength, and also not having to choose between Jughead and Archie. It makes her more than just a girlfriend who goes back and forth between two best friends.

This whole theory is further evidenced by beanie Jughead appearing outside Pops in the final scene and then hearing his typewriter as the show fades out. This was Jughead’s story all along, and the main character was Betty. It’s always been about Betty. The reason Jughead and Betty didn’t have any romantic scene in the series finale is because this wasn’t beanie Jughead’s Betty. This was the version of Betty that ends up with no one. It’s the last version of her that Jughead wrote in his book. The version of her that’s truly happy and at peace with herself and her life. He wrote her saying goodbye to Archie because that was not her endgame. Archie was just a childhood crush that existed in a fantasy world filled with magic and unrealistic scenarios like sewing on decapitated heads and bringing people back from the dead. Rivervale universe was never real and never made sense, just like Betty and Archie never made sense. And guess what happened to Betty in universe 2? She died, just like B*rchie did in the finale 😉

The only version of her that is still alive is the original one from Universe 1 that ends up with Jughead. We didn’t need to see their endgame on screen to know it happened. Their endgame is in the subtext. Jughead always loved Betty, and his story was about her. In universe 1 they are endgame, in universe 2 they are soul mates as bunker Jughead is able to do the impossible and contact her in Riverdale from Rivervale. And in universe 3 they are Romeo and Juliet. She spent her last day on earth with him, and died the day after finding out he died. They were star-crossed and couldn’t be together. The writing is on the wall.

As much as I would have loved an I love you, a kiss or even just a conversation discussing their history in the last episode, I take comfort in knowing that the characters I fell in love with in season 1 were completely different people in season 7. And from where I stand, the only explanation is it’s one big multiverse of madness concocted by a sardonic writer who was always in love with the girl next door, and spent most of his youth writing about her only to end the story with them both forever being 17. That is the same age they were when they were together and in love. It’s the same age their iconic duet is about. They just wanted to be 17, and that’s exactly how the show ends for them. Screams endgame to me :)

Just remember, nothing lasts forever. The greatest moments in life are the ones that don’t last long but leave a lasting impression. It’s the reason why we are so enthralled when we see a shooting star. It’s something so beautiful, yet so rare, so fleeting and near impossible to see with the naked eye that we stare in sheer wonderment at a dark sky full of dead stars waiting and hoping that such a spectacle will reveal itself to us again. So don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. And never lose hope; it’s the only voice inside of you strong enough to silence fear.

Thanks for the memories, Bughead family! Even though I haven’t been around the last few years, it’s an experience I’ll never forget, and I’ve made met people on here that I will be friends with for life ❤️❤️❤️

[heyclickadee]

Random Bad Batch Season 3 thoughts:

1. I’m still kind of into the idea of force-sensitive Omega, partly because: one, I think it would be neat if the clones ended up establishing their own force tradition based on their own culture, apart from the Jedi (I have a head canon that force sensitivity is more of a blurred line and that all the clones are a teeny bit force sensitive anyway) and; two, I kind of like the idea of Hemlock going to do something awful to Crosshair while they’re in Tantiss, and overprotective older sister Omega being so desperate to save him that she has a full-on Carrie-style force-powered freak-out that shorts out all the equipment in the lab and gives her enough of a distraction to grab him and run.

2. I don’t know who’s going to tell Tech what actually happened in the wake of his sacrifice, but when they do, and he learns that Omega got seriously hurt, then got captured by Hemlock, and Cid sold them out, Crosshair remains unrescued (if Tech’s not working on that himself), AND that Hunter and the team are running around without any leads, if they can be found at all? That man is going to become someone’s worst nightmare, spinal cord injury or not.

3. I still hope Wrecker gets to blow up Mount Tantiss. I also hope someone gets to unleash Chekov’s Zillo beast. These things can be related.

4. Please let Hunter smile, bad batch crew. He is suffering.

5. I’m completely prepared to eat my words on this, but I’m kind of leaning towards predicting Omega and Crosshair being out of Tantiss within the first few episodes, the whole team being reunited by or shortly after the midseason, and then the whole thing culminating in a raid on/uprising at Mount Tantiss, so they can free the other clones there, and Omega being the one to come up with the plan on how to do it. She’s good at strategy, and she’s been there once already. And if that’s the direction they go, it could be kind of interesting if Omega’s afraid to go through with it and almost calls the whole thing off, because she’s almost lost every single one of her brothers more than once and she doesn’t know if she can do it again if her plan fails and gets one or all of them killed; but then Hunter, who’s been so afraid to act the whole show for that exact reason, has grown enough by then that he ends up being the one to tell her that they can’t leave anyone behind anymore, and that it’s going to be okay, and believe it when he says it. I don’t know that that specific thing will happen, but it’d be a cool little role reversal.

6. Something about Cid’s betrayal still doesn’t feel right. I’m not saying she didn’t sell the batch out, because she did, that happened, and it was an awful thing to do. But I still think there’s an angle to it that we haven’t seen yet, even if it’s just her beating herself up over it enough to try and fix it.

[cecilysass]

20 Fanfic Questions

Thanks for the tag (days and days ago now) @randomfoggytiger.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 21 as of today, which is kind of wild. (I have some on Gossamer, too, because: old.)

2. What's your total AO3 words count?306,501. Working on another longer-ish one that will bump that up.

3. What fandoms do you write for?The X-Files by and large. One time I wrote a fic for a very popular fandom of the 00s I never actually posted, and now I feel differently about that fandom and never will. I can imagine a world where I might write for another fandom, but I am pretty XF-centric right now.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?Chicken Dinner, Pause, The Boy on the Beach, The Kaleidoscope, Unobserved.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?I do respond to comments, but not all the time. I get behind in responding, and then I have to not respond to any of them to make it consistent, if that makes any sense at all? (Because someone might wonder—why did she respond to that comment and not to mine?) I know, I know, I'm sorry.  I honestly love every single comment, and I prefer to respond to them. When I have my life together, I have had great conversations in comments before. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?As I read over my work, I have not done a lot of angsty endings, although I have plenty of angst. I have a very old fic written the summer between season 7 and 8 called Opposition and Synthesis (one of many post-Requiem fics) that is on Gossamer and ends angsty, but that’s not a widely read piece any more, lol. I would say of my more recent work, probably Ice Water ends the angstiest. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I have lots of happy endings. I couldn’t say.

8. Do you get hate on fics?Nooooo, not per se. I have gotten very critical comments from people who are disappointed by the turn the fic has taken, or comments taking issue with my interpretation of canon. I remember someone didn’t like the idea of Scully going on dates at all in the break-up era, and they complained about that in the comments on End of Story. That’s a difference in headcanon, so sometimes it’s frustrating when people feel theirs should prevail. But I haven’t really received what I would call “hate” exactly (so far) for which I am grateful.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? I have, but it’s not my favorite. It’s completely hypocritical of me because I like to read it, but it’s not my most comfortable area of writing. I think it’s a problem of not being terribly visual.  I do feel sometimes it’s necessary to a story, and my betas peer pressure me into including it sometimes, too.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?I haven’t. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. People translated some of my fic into Russian one time.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No. I would like to do that. 

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Mulder and Scully. Duh.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Okay, I have told this story a few times, so bear with me if you’ve heard it, but I had a WIP I hadn’t finished between 2000-ish and 2021. That’s right. Twenty years. It would be very reasonable to assume I was never finishing that fic, as the first two parts had been up on Gossamer for years and I had not been seen or heard from in decades. Then during the pandemic I came back to thinking about the show, and when I came back to the fandom there were oddly people who still knew my fic. And I remembered this WIP and still had some of the ancient Word files of later chapters on my Google drive, so I decided to make a little project of finishing it and posting it to AO3. And now it’s finished. (It’s called Bloodline. You can read it and see if you can tell where the narrative is written 20 years apart.)  So I don’t believe in doubting you’ll ever finish WIPs. Never say never.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think dialogue. I would not have said plotting when I restarted this hobby, but I do think I have gotten better at plotting. And I do plan things out. I do a lot of research.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Smut. Logistics in moving around in general – like when someone is standing or sitting and how they move from one place in the room to the other. I write in present tense a lot but past tense sometimes, so sometimes I mess up tense absent-mindedly. I’m also a very slow writer who rewrites a lot. When I see people get a prompt and then post the fic a few days later, my mind is blown, because I could absolutely never. People who do Fictober also have my deep respect, because that would be a very, very hard thing for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I would only do it very sparingly or with extensive help, as I’m not a fluent speaker in anything but English. I could probably write a little French or Spanish dialogue to understand (I think I did write a tiny bit of Spanish dialogue in We’re Not Here To Get Involved In Personal Problems). But I would really want a more fluent speaker to look it over if I were doing any significant amount.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The X-Files, really, if you don’t count that middle school Victoria Holt romance novel sequel I wrote for English class.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? I’m going to choose three, okay? Is that egotistical? I’m sorry if so. I’ve always really liked Jackson Van De Kamp’s Not-So-Final Repose. It’s not perfect, but it’s quirky and fantastical and sentimental and has a special place in my heart. It’s also more like a play, which is probably one of the genres my writing is most influenced by. I also really like The Boy on the Beach, which took a year to write and involved so, so much research, which was fun and a positive experience. Finally, I like How To Eat Pleasant Holiday Meals With Co-Workers, which was a prompt for a holiday exchange (early MSR Thanksgiving) that I expanded into a series of Thanksgivings over the years. I ended up really enjoying imagining each of those Thanksgivings, especially the last one. That last one is my forever post-revival headcanon now lol.

Would anyone like to do this? I'm going to tag @mollybecameanengineer if she hasn't yet, but anyone should.

[telltalesonline]

40 Kim Kardashian Facts that are ‘Literally’ so True

It might seem unlikely that there can be anything left to unearth about Kim Kardashian.

After all, she’s had hit reality shows that have documented her life since 2007, and been the center of attention on social media and news outlets for over a decade.

Even though you can keep up with her on every possible medium from TV to social media, there are still some things that you may not know about the famous mother of four.

So, gather ‘round, Kimmy K lovers (and haters) – here are 40 Kim Kardashian facts that are literally so true, Bible.

1. Kim has Six Piercings

We all know that Kim isn’t afraid to go under the knife. She also has nerves of steel when it comes to piercings!

Did you know that she has piercings on her bellybutton, one in her right ear and four on her left? She hasn’t been spotted with her belly ring lately, though.

2. She Was a Celebrity Stylist Before Fame

Besides her controversial tape, the Kardashians’ rise to fame was largely thanks to Kim’s pal Paris Hilton.

3. Kim ‘Looked’ For Paparazzi

When Kim first hopped onto the scene, she was photographed everywhere. The new ‘it girl’ was featured in all the magazines and paparazzi would literally feed off getting a photo of her.

She’s been accused of calling the paparazzi on herself, but Kim recently denied this and admitted that she did intentionally head to certain spots where she knew the photographers would be.  

4. She Regrets her Adult Tape

Indeed, Kim has big regrets when it comes to her controversial adult tape with Ray J. Admitting to Andy Cohen on the KUWTK Reunion, Kim said,

“That is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. That is something that is being held over my head. I try to not live with any regrets, but it’s probably the one thing I wish didn’t exist. If I could erase any of the stupid things I’ve done in life, that’s probably it and it’s more so from being a mom than anything.”

5. Her Feud with Kourtney Goes Way Back

From physically fighting each other on their shows, to feuding about their Dolce and Gabbana projects, Kim and Kourtney have rarely seen eye to eye over the years.

6. Kim Got Drunk at Beyonce’s Party

If you haven’t caught up with season 4 of The Kardashians, you’d have missed Kim confessing this juicy little fact.

The SKIMS founder admitted that she got drunk and “blacked out” at one of Beyonce‘s parties after dancing all night long. With just “two shots,” Kim revealed that she gets easily “wasted.”

Don’t believe her? “Ask Beyonce,” Kim said.

7. She has a Freckle on her Eyeball

There are many Kim Kardashian doppelgangers out there. So many women try to copy her style, fashion, makeup and hairdos.

8. She Goes to the Beach at Certain Times

As her true fans know, Kim loves going on vacation where she can flaunt her bikini and relax on the beach.

What you may not know is that the curvaceous star only goes to the beach when lighting is the most flattering, to avoid casting unappealing light on her cellulite.

A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

9. Kim has Been Married 3 Times

If you thought Kim K’s infamously short marriage to Kris Humphries and her famous marriage to Kanye West is all there was in the ring department, you’re mistaken.

10. She Almost Didn’t Marry Kris Humphries

Other than her adult tape, we’re pretty sure marrying Kris Humphries is Kim’s second biggest regret in life.

Believe it or not, she almost escaped the 72-day marriage on her wedding day! Kris, her mom, revealed during the KUWTK Reunion, that she tried to talk Kim out of marrying Humphries – “I said, ‘Listen, if you really don’t want to do this, I don’t think you should do it.’”

Kim added, “What you said to me was ‘Go, I’m going to put you in a car. No one will find you. Just leave and I’ll handle it.’ I thought, ‘OK, we’re filming this for a TV show. If I leave, I’m going to be known as the runaway bride forever. It’s going to be a huge joke. I think I just had cold feet.”

Continue reading at Tell Tales Online.

[missjanjie]

Nobody asked but that’s never stopped me anyway. So, here’s which queen from every season that I think is most likely to be on a future all stars season (no repeats/winners) with explanations that also no one asked for:

Season 1: Porkchop - I just feel like they’re priming us for her to be on either an AS or early-outs season and I think she deserves it

Season 2: Nicole Paige Brooks - it was between her and Mystique as the only ones left and Nicole has expressed interest in going back for AS, and with Poppy’s reunion look referencing her, she’s back on fans minds

Season 3: Delta Work - out of the queens that haven’t been on, I think she’s the most relevant other than Carmen, who has burned all the bridges between her and wow anyway. idk what standings she’s in but I could see it happening

Season 4: Dida Ritz - I’ve seen people campaigning for her to be on AS for a while now, and she’s always expressed a willingness to go if invited back. And while Willam is more popular, we can all safely assume that’s not happening

Season 5: Lineysha Sparx - like Dida, she had some good highlights but never really got her flowers (I’m noticing a trend here). No offense to Monica, because I am genuinely so excited to see her on AS8, but I am a bit surprised she was picked over her. But I will concede that I don’t know if she’s still active in drag, but a lot of articles had said MBH retired so 🤷‍♀️

Season 6: Joslyn Fox - I like her, I wanna see her back on. But this is one of those cases where out of the remaining queens from that season, she seems like the most likely choice unless the producers want a ‘do it for the meme’ route like with Serena and cast Kelly (who doesn’t need it and has a great resume on her own, but that’s how I imagine a show runner seeing it)

Season 7: Jaidynn Dior Fierce - another queen that fans have pointed out deserve another chance in the spotlight and there have been rumors that she’d been shortlisted once or twice. Kandy Ho was also shortlisted for what I believe was an early-out season, but I feel like between the two, we’ll see Jaidynn first

Season 8: Cynthia Lee Fontaine - this is, of course, contingent on her health being in a strong enough state to take it on, which isn’t a given, unfortunately. So, barring any health problem, I know Ru loves her and would bring her back

Season 9: Peppermint - at this point, I feel like they’re gonna give into peer pressure one of these days and finally cast her. I think a lot of fans feel that it’s long overdue

Season 10: Asia O’Hara - the only reason I put her as more likely than Kameron is because (I think) she’s expressed more interest in going back. But both of them did the Vegas show for a while so wow definitely likes them and is probably keeping tabs on them

Season 11: Vanessa ‘Vanjie’ Mateo - I feel like this is one of the more obvious ones, to the point where I’m actually surprised it hasn’t happened yet. My theory is that they’re waiting to bring her back when producers know she’ll go far (unlike with 11 where there were a lot of highs and lows without people really seeing her as ‘winner material’). I will, however, acknowledge the possibility that someone like Nina or Plastique could be cast before her

Season 12: Crystal Methyd - like Vanjie and Cynthia, it’s clear Ru loves her and production likely wants her back. That said, I do think she’s one of the queens that wants to put a little more time between her original season and AS, but there’s no other obvious choice. And knowing what I do know about AS shortlists, there’s a chance Rock or Dahlia may precede her if they do go an early-outs route

Season 13: Denali Foxx - again, I don’t know if she’ll be the next s13 queen to go on for the same reasons as Crystal, but I don’t doubt it’s inevitability with how much of a fan favorite she is. If I saw anyone getting cast before her, it could be Kahmora (see above) or Utica

Season 14: Any of the four runner-ups - I know, kind of a cop-out. But here’s the thing, the obvious answer is Kornbread, but she’s said she doesn’t want to go back for AS, but wanted to get another chance to compete in a regular season (which she should’ve!!!). So, Daya, Bosco, Camden, and Angeria all seem more or less equally likely if you mix both the fandom and production standpoints

Season 15: Mistress Isabelle Brooks - also kind of early to call, of course. But I’m not talking about who will be the first/next queen of a season to do AS, just who I feel like stands a good chance of being on one at some point. And I’m so sure they’re gonna wanna bring her back

[maple-leifarts]

INFINITE PARADISE - Chapter 1

A DSMP AU fic I had the idea for not that long ago actually! Hope you enjoy :D (warning pretty long lmao)

“Goooood morning New London! Thanks for tuning into Destrympia News—your one and only news station personalized for your region!” The annoyingly cheerful automated dialogue blared in the blonde’s face, almost startling him off of the steel ladder he climbed down. Tommy sneered at the cyborg announcer’s face in the fully colored hologram before him as it continued to spew about how wonderful a day it was, like it did every day. “Can’t you believe the great day we all have ahead of us? Our futures are guaranteed to be enjoyable, special, and unique thanks to our sponsor—and our planet’s loving caretaker—The Syndicate!!”

“If only you knew how bad it really is,” Tommy grumbled furiously. He reached the bottom of the steps and took off into the dank, dark sewers on his hoverboard—inconspicuous enough to fool anyone into thinking he was your everyday teen. But, truly, he was more than that. In both good and bad ways. He barreled out into into the streets, the morning light blinding him, and zoomed up past the buildings into the Skyway.

The bright lilac sky blanketed the skyscrapers of New London, each one miles high, shiny and black, and laced with their own glowing neon colors. Despite being 6 in the morning, the city was bustling with activity—people walked along the streets, shops opened, the Skyway was packed with other flying vehicles, and—as Tommy discovered from the news report—a festival was being set up on the other side of the city. “Make sure to stop by the Harvest Festival today! It will be open to the public at 7 and will have lots of activities for everyone—roller coasters, fun competitive games, sideshows, and fireworks tonight at 6! Thank goodness the festival is this week too, since the average temperature will be taking a huge drop as the autumn season begins-“

Luckily briefly interrupting the weather report, Tommy received a short text on his watch—“New place is in the festival”. He grinned, happy to hear the news. “I was hoping for an excuse to check it out.” He took a right and began his way downtown.

Tommy tuned out the news and watched his surroundings as he flew, memorizing the buildings and streets he passed. Having no clue how long he would have to stay in New London, it was best to get to know the city from head to toe and especially mark all possible escape routes in case he was forced to run away from anything or anyone. Which, unfortunately, was often.

Tom was stuck in his trance of staring at all the roads below him until the news report momentarily snapped him back to reality. “As of last night, 5 mutants escaped from the Syndicate HQ and are on the loose. No trace of them has been seen since around 1 last night, so they could be anywhere. The Syndicate has not submitted any photos of them, so keep a lookout for anyone that seems out of the ordinary!”

The blonde hummed and nodded knowingly. “If they’re smart, they’d be far from HQ by now,” he muttered to himself.

”And on that note, we have some related news—“

Tommy groaned. “Here we go again.”

”It’s coming up on the 2 year anniversary since mutants Tom Simons and Ranboo Beloved mysteriously disappeared from the HQ. We still have no idea if they escaped together, or if it was just a coincidence that they escaped at the same time, but all we know is that they haven’t been seen since.” Tommy rolled his eyes. There were two things wrong about all of that. One, he didn’t “mysteriously” disappear; the escape was plenty obvious. And two, he had been spotted lots of times. Apparently the Syndicate liked to keep quiet about it, and/or were embarrassed they hadn’t caught him. And just to clarify, he had never met Ranboo.

Two images now appeared in the hologram, the first being the “Ranboo” guy. He looked about 17 in the image and had fuzzy light brown hair in a short wolf cut that somewhat covered his piercing grey eyes. A strange metal mask hid the bottom half of his face and many tubes filled with a glowing orange liquid came out of the side and bottom of the mask and connected to something on the back of his head and to a metal plate/control panel sort of thing on his chest. He wore a plain black tanktop and stared at the camera with a mildly annoyed look on his face.

The second image was Tom, 16 at the time, blurred as he ran away from the camera looking furious. Unlike Ranboo, Tom in the picture wore extremely bright colors on black, to the point where it almost looked ridiculous. However, it didn’t distract from his electric blue eyes, which were blindingly bright and shone like headlights. The result of messing with a tube of Element X5, the element that fueled the entire planet when mixed with neon, when he was younger.

“Remember, if you see any of these individuals, don’t hesitate to tell your nearest Syndicate scout immediately!” the android in the hologram finished.

Tommy hastily gave his current outfit a once-over—a mahogany sleeveless jacket with a dark green t-shirt under, a black belt, dark brown cargo pants, even darker brown boots, a red-brown over the shoulder bag, light brown sleeves with diamonds cut out at the elbows, black fingerless gloves, a mahogany forearm guard on his left arm, a light maroon hooded cape, and to top it off, a faded green bandana wrapped around his eyes to hide the glowing blue. Nothing like the outfit the world constantly saw him in on the news and posters. One might call it a loss of identity, but he called it street smarts.

He finally looked up to realize he nearly missed the exit to the festival. He swerved and floated down to the entrance, which seemed to have opened a bit early. A good number of people already wandered through the food stands, played the games, watched the sideshows, and rode the coasters. It was quite overwhelming of the senses and full of distractions—bright flashing lights, screams and cheers, aromas of fried food, and much more. And the festival took up 8 acres. Tom looked at his recent text and sighed. “This is gonna take a while.”

[quarkspeed]

!!DS9 season 5 spoilers!!

"The recent borg attack."

THEY DID NOT JUST DROP THAT IN THERE WITH NO CONTEXT WHATSOVER BEING GIVEN BY THE SERIES. NO MENTION OF ANY BORG ATTACKS HERE.

(I know vaguely it's to do with TNG - one of the movies I believe? But STILL. I thought there was a season or so to go! Can't just shock a girl like that.)

Wish I hadn't known about changeling Julian though.

Also I am really enjoying our "ask game", so to speak<3 I am planning on replying but I have quite a few thoughts to sort through first.

(OMG because you said you’re on season 5….that means in season 6 you’ll finally watch In The Pale Moonlight. Please give me alllll your thoughts on that episode once you’ve watched it okay!!!)

I think I remember them mentioning the Borg attack and I loved it because I loooove these little “Easter eggs” (if you can call them that). If you haven’t watched TNG yet…please do it after DS9!!!!! It’s really worth it (most of it anyway).

I also love our ask game btw!!!! Whenever I see you in my inbox I’m super excited, so thank you for just rambling about Star Trek in there! I always enjoy reading your thoughts!! There are actually so many DS9 episodes I’d love to hear your thoughts/opinions about!!!

(Btw I’ve seen you repost a couple of posts in German before so if you are/speak German…Hallo, ich bin auch Deutsch lmao 🖖🏼)

[kitteningotham]

This kinda made me want to answer some of these, so here we go ig? Kinda like a get to know me? I am going to be leaving out certain questions for privacy reasons/bc I don’t want to answer them though :)

1a) Reading, especially classic novels like Little Women, Black Beauty and Ballet Shoes

1b) My Year Four English teacher, who was the first one to tell me that I was a good writer, and told me that she could imagine reading my (fictional) article in a real newspaper

1c) My family and friends, who have always supported who I am and celebrated my achievements

2) Oh God… get ready for this you guys…

Yeah… it looks like a ten year old’s writing, I know.

3) Ummm… pressure…. Frozen, You’ve Got Mail, and the LEGO Batman Movie

5) Does my Tumblr even count as a blog? If it does, I started it to be able to share my interests with others, read and see and watch other peoples’ creations, and appreciate artists who deserve acknowledgment.

6) So, I really haven’t been a creator here that long, but I would have to say the hate comments I see directed at others. On Tumblr, we’re fortunate to not really have that much hate, and when there is, it is usually managed effectively. Still, online in general, the things I have seen directed at other people can be horrible.

8) Unfortunately, I don’t usually dream at all, so no :(

9) I honestly can’t think of anything good to put here, if I think of something I’ll change it

10) Kind of, yeah! I don’t often show that side of myself to other people, but I tend to react to things I love/hate emotionally, even if you can’t see it visibly.

11) I think that my version of romance is like a warm familiarity, when you see someone you know and love anyway, all of their faults and flaws included, and you know that they are one of the people you care most about. You know that they are the right person for you.

12) Follow your passions and joys, try to do and embrace what you love best. Share you hopes, dreams and feelings with the people you love. Remember that they love you too.

13) Writing this, but also messaging my best friend to arrange meeting up and brushing my hair!

14) Probably windsurfing or skydiving! It always looks super fun, but I can never work up the courage to give it a go!

15) We move around quite often, so I think of my family and the warm feeling they bring me

16) Probably my athletic skills, I’m really awful at most sports and running and if I were better at them I think I would enjoy exercising more.

17) Reading a good book, chocolate, and my loved ones

18) I do think that there may be life on other planets, but I don’t believe in stereotypical aliens, no, nor ghosts.

19) Probably the sunlight and the way it looks and feels. The warmth on your skin, the spots in your eyes.

20) I’m very much a night owl, so it’s quite hard to choose, but I like the night sky, whether it’s cloudy and mysterious or clear and starry. The moon is very much included in that.

21) No, I’m pretty much atheist. I have no idea or beliefs about what happens after we die, but I don’t really believe in or pray to any higher powers. I’m really interested in Greek mythology and the study of other religions though, and fully respect anyone else’s beliefs.

22) She’s funny, smart and really kind and inclusive

24) The grades I’ve made on some of my exams over the years, which I was always really pleased with

25) Autumn. The lovely warm colours and wildlife, along with the transition from warm to cool temperatures, make it the most interesting season, in my opinion. Not to mention all the nice warm cinnamon cookies and drinks :)

26) Purple. I just love the contrast between how powerful the dark shades are, and how delicate the pale ones are. It’s just so beautiful to me. Delphiniums are one of my favourite flower’s because of their colours.

28) I have quite a large collection of Pokémon cards left over from when I was younger that I was really into at one point, but not currently. Oh, unless you count notebooks because I literally can’t stop buying those.

29) I read.

30) Also reading. There’s something about escaping reality that lifts all of the weights off of your shoulders and makes your sorrows less potent.

31) I’m almost right between the two. I’m not organised, but my house is always quite tidy. I probably err more on the side of messiness though.

32) I mostly use Google, so that has 37 tabs open, and I only use safari for opening links because I can’t be bothered to set the former as my default browser, so that has 77.

33) Mostly just reading, writing, gaming, cooking and baking.

34) When people don’t explain things and expect you to just know how to do them. Super annoying.

35) No, I don’t think so. Meeting new people is hard anyway, and it takes a fair amount of time for me to befriend and open up to someone.

36) Walls up.

38) I’ve been into a few things lately. Mostly ‘History Of Man’ by Maisie Peters, ‘Leave Before The Lights Come On’ by the Arctic Monkeys, and ‘Like That’ by JP Saxe :)

39) I love LDShadowlady’s stuff, her vibe is just so amazing! She’s so chaotic, and so nice and good at the game

40) I bite my nails :(

Thanks for reading! :) <333

questions I think would be fun to be asked

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)

[3-dimensional-square]

This might not reach the right audience, but this is for whoever need a bit of reason to go on, despite all the crappy shit happening in the world at the moment,, Mind you, this is mostly the reasons I keep on living and why I will choose to focus on the happiness instead of,, ya know,, everything else,,

1. I have a work crush, and my heart will literally skip a beat every time I think of them,, It might not Just be a crush anymore:))

2. I saw 2 omnivore birds (I thinks they were falcons) playing

3. I live quite far from my work place, so I have to take a bus, metro and train every time I go to work,, I see the most beautiful green fields on my way, despite the season

4. I genuinely enjoy and love my coworkers,, I even told one of them to text me when he got home safe, and I know he’s gonna do it:))

5. I was listening to the greatest soundtrack of all time (from my favorite movie) on my way home this morning

6. I had the BEST chicken nuggets on my way home, with a sauce that could change lives

7. Despite all the crap happening in my life right now (and that’s a lot:)) I still try to keep a positive focus, bc I know that will be better for me in the end

8. My 2 best friends are visiting me this weekend, and I haven’t seen any of them in like a month!!

9. Fresh air,, I might tell my mom it’s overrated and it’s not what I need right now, but whenever I’m in it,, Ahhhh

10. I know things are tough, and I wish I could say it’d get better,, But I don’t know.. Has it gotten better for me?? Maybe,, Maybe I’m just ignoring the things I shouldn’t be ignoring.. Will I deal with that later on, definitely,, Am I happy right now,, 100%

I’ve always believed in appreciating what you have right here, right now, even if it’s close to 0,, I mean, that’s the only reason I’m still here:))

So if nothing in this list made you feel better, I would highly recommend making your own list, of tiny little things that made you happy,,

Like that stranger’s laugh, the smell of a newly blown out candle or maybe just of the person you saw, that JUST made it in time for their bus,,

I know this sounds cliché, but as the world is full of horror, it’s filled with even more beauty,, In the smallest, most unlikely places,, Sometimes you just have to search for it:))

Sorry for the long post, but I felt like, after everything, something positive had to be put out in the world:))

Tl;Dr: I just love the world, and you should too, despite everything happening:))

[buckevantommy]

7, 34, 55 and 67!!!

7. Favorite female character? 

Athena. That woman is a force of nature and Angela Bassett brought her a-game stardom, which I think elevated everyone else’s performance as well. Her intro scene was so impactful because she brought the emotion from the jump and it was so raw, but also believable in her anger and in that way people are complex it was like: this is our show, our characters are layered, and imperfect, and you can relate to them, and root for them, and take comfort in them. She’s the protector not just of her family but the extended firefam, she kicks ass and takes no shit, i mean.. it wouldn’t be the same without her - and I was hesitant about her because I knew she was the cop-character, y’know? But I really do like how the show isn’t just firefighters; there’s medics, and dispatch, and cops, and family, it needs those variations of first responders and I can’t imagine anyone playing the cop aspect better than Angela. But now I’m rambling. 🫠🫶

34. Most badass moment? 

I’m blanking. I feel like there’s pretty cool bamf moments every other episode, but none of them have stuck.. baby!Buck kicking that guy off the balcony in season 1, the swagger and nose-flick after comes to mind. 🤨😏

55. Favorite Buckley-Diaz family moment? 

Again, I haven’t watched season 5 or 6 yet, so. There’s been a few nice moments but from what I’ve seen the best stuff is yet to come. The skateboard for Chris was heartwarming af, also the Christmas scenes. 🛹 🎁 

67. Comfort episode? 

I haven’t rewatched any episodes yet. I only started the series this year and I’m still making my way through for the first time. I’ve rewatched my bucktommy supercut multiple times though. 🎞️👀

doing this thing

[suhstaste]

behold my top 6 predictions!!!

1) Arsenal, something tells me that that dream will be come a reality this year (plus a certain Belgian man being out for 3/4 months). Integrate Kai and Declan well and if Saka, Martinelli, Odegard, Zinchenko and Jesus keep performing as well as they did last year and this is very much a title contenting and winning squad. also if they avoid injury 🤣

2) Manchester City, it’s time they lose 😂 the only other team going head to head with them was Arsenal so that’s why I’m going to bat for them but all eras and reigns must come to an end and i so DESPERATELY want it to be City’s time. But alas, with the likes of Ruben Dias, John Stones, Bernardo Silva, Rodri, Kyle Walker and last but most definitley not least, Erling Fucking Haaland still being in their prime and deadly (lmk if I’m missing anyone) you would be a fool to think these guys would have a terrible drop off. In our dreams maybe.

3) Now we’re getting controversiallllll. I think Liverpool could do it. Yes they need a DM, but in this market, especially if they look outside of England, i believe they can find one. Ask the Brighton scouts for advice guys. But other than that they have a solid squad. That partial midfield revamp looks good, Szobozlai and MacAllister look like they can definitely deliver solid performances for the reds, but they’re just missing that DM (and they thought it was gonna be Caicedo 😂😂😂😂😂) and once they get it…the Merseysiders will be back once again. The performance against Chelsea was worrying and if I was Liverpool fan over the last week I would be stressed and depressed but I have no doubt that they’ll turn it all around, on and off the pitch. They always find a way

4) Again, Controversial but Newcastle. They are my sleeper pick guys omg. They’ve been so solid and deadly for so long but yet people look over them like they don’t exist. 5-1 to a GOOD Villa team???? They terrify me. Newcastle are not here to play and they’re here to make a name for themselves. I’m excited to see them perform in the Champs League. But lemme say this. Last year was not a fluke, Newcastle United are here to stay.

5)…….United………

Don’t eat me United fans. I have just been disappointed with what I’ve seen from the Red Devils. Nothing has pointed to a another potential title contention, or even a solid top 4 performances. Waltzing into the new year with a Casemiro, Fernandes and Mount midfield is a choice. At least they dealt with the GK situation, Onana is an upgrade from De Gea 🤣 but this team just doesn’t strike fear in me. I still believe they can compete at a high level but there just isn’t that thing, that key component there that would have me putting them up higher. That first game against Wolves was abysmal and should’ve ended in a draw due to stupid refereeing choices and the fact that you couldn’t even string a solid performance against WOLVES on week ONE?? Not a great foreshadow for the season i won’t lie

6) Up the Mighty Chels!!

Did you think they’d be any higher?? Could’ve been 5th but I haven’t seen Caicedo, Lavia and Fernandez play together yet so I will reserve my judgment until then. This rebuild has been generational. This midfield will be the coldest midfield in the game in a couple years I promise. I see a lot of promise with this team and if Reece James can keep fit oh we are so back. The back line is cold, Colwil, is a gem and only 20. The only thing people can hold against Thiago is his age but even at 38 he’s still amazing. The attack still needs work, i don’t think a front pairing of Sterling and Nico Jackson will work long term (Nkunku we miss you bae) but it can work for now. Let’s not even forget about Madueke and Mudryk, to wingers just ready to unleash their potential. Chelse is a team of what ifs and potential right now and I just have a feeling it’s going to be a great few years at Stamford Bridge ahead of us. :)

[bourboncynic]

This Is Me (Then/Now)

I’ve spent many years hiding it.

I’ve spent a good decade of my adulthood ‘dealing with it.’

I’ve spent many a nights over-worrying, over-analyzing, and over-committing for the good of fellow humans.

I can honestly say…

I’ve never spent adequate opportunities on myself.

I chalked it up. I bottled it in. I buried it deep in my subconscious knowing it will make a comeback but reckoned I can just deal with it later.

Now here I am.

(10) years almost and the feelings have returned.

Self-worth.

How much do I sacrifice myself for the good of others?

How much of a front or façade do I portray to show people I’m not emotionally fragile or slowly slipping in the depths of hardship?

I deal with every stressful situation like it’s common, a norm.

I put walls up because it’s easier to not be hurt or be made a villain.

But it’s never enough.

I’ve become a scapegoat for others as well as myself.

But here I am. Drained. Stretched thin. Overwhelmed. Tunnel-visioned in a box in which any signs of an exit are still left to be found.

I’ve found myself feeling more alone in a crowded room than being on my own.

And I’m exhausted.

I’ve been exhausted for years.

I’m not broken.

Nor am I needing fixing.

I’ve been open, but it’s never enough.

My openness has been used as ammunition for others’ selfish gains.

I’m a crutch for people’s ego.

Their situation, their feelings trump mine.

My voice echoes in a sea of non-compliant attitudes.

Why should I be open if it only gets me so far. So far meaning backwards. A pawn. A science experiment for others to experiment on and based hypotheses off of.

I’m a Libra. A people pleaser. Non-confrontational. Indecisive. Misdirected.

Nobody says easily manipulated, exploited, stepped-on…

I’ve obsessed over ‘fads’ which I felt would better help me.

I’ve grown and styled my hair in every way imaginable. I’ve updated my wardrobe when the season dictated it. I’ve fluctuated in weight. I’ve gained and lost and put on and slimmed again.

I became a definition of discipline which admired some, but never seemed to be a redeeming quality.

Yet, I fall into temptation after temptation.

Sure, skipping the gym to do happy hour is fine. Raging at night instead of cleaning my house will be worth it. Being alone was better than putting myself on the market.

This progress is for me.

There we are, you and me.

Why did you do that? Or… why did I do that?

(You) made it come true.

I asked for it.

I promised you something in return and I haven’t delivered yet.

You won. I lost.

Unless… the path you’ve set for me is full of hurdles where the answer comes before the question.

Yeah, I do that.

Now I know why.

It’s the cure, from what I’ve seen so far.

It all makes sense.

It makes sense to those who understand.

Ten years ago.

So, extroverted, full of life, easy to love and give love, reckless in emotions and seriousness.

It’s all I had. And it worked.

I wasn’t a catch. I wasn’t Mr. Popular.

I surrounded myself with the arts for (20+) years because it was a place to hide. It brought me out of a shell I never knew I had.

‘Cause before I wasn’t like that.

Naïve, dimwitted, almost sheltered.

Now, this is me today.

Full of regrets, but also full of dreams.

I used to be small and scrawny.

I used to be a mass of skin and blubber.

I believed in the honesty of people.

I was blessed and had a lot of friends. I always believed in love and friendship.

The sins of my grandfather. Have more friends than those who love you. Be popular instead of loved and desired. This guy now, it’s not the same thing.

If you have 5, 6, 7, or 10 close friends in a lifetime, they’ve all got something special. But nobody cares about you in the background.

What about booze? What about acceptance and cool points?

When you’ve been in so many social circles as I have (theatre, improv, parties, concerts), you want something more.

I tried something and I got hooked.

The crazy haired guy got hooked. The class clown got hooked. The nice guy and “brother” to many ladies I sought after got hooked.

I was wasted mentally and physically. To the point that I got out of it but got sucked back in. Temptation of a creative outlet and meeting like minded social butterflies like myself (maybe once upon a time).

But it’s all there. It’s all there.

It was really tough.

I saw people better off than me.

Still see people better off than me.

I went from a naïve nobody to a social maestro and still thought, why can’t I be like them, why can’t I have all the privileges? Why am I just a regular guy? It makes me sick to see people… who have what I’ve been chasing for so many years. Knowing I have the same qualities, too. Much more than them. It’s not my fault if I was cut out to be an ‘everyman.’ I asked for it. I asked for it, really believed in it. Because I felt an ‘everyman’ was safe. Someone remembered and admired, but never made a stain in the blanket of life.

When you’re 13, you believe in your dream. I didn’t want fame and fortune. I wanted infamy. And I was content if infamy meant in a social circle I’d have for life.

People have come and gone. Some needed to be cut. Some I put aside but never picked up again, like a puzzle or a childhood toy that doesn’t excite in the same way anymore.

Well, it came true for me. But it doesn’t feel like enough. Maybe I’m there now but will never see it as such. I feel I have miles to go before I reach my destination. And I still ask myself today what I’ve done on this Earth.

Nothing.

I’ve done nothing!

For myself.

If I faded away now, hoping to start all over here in Phoenix or in another city (Madison, Portland, or Dallas). Start over with my mind and get my health back and the physique I dreamed of, pick up again.

Alone or otherwise. Maybe future tales to come? Of new friends and new relationships. Heartbreak or sonnets of romance.

So, I really hope nobody pulls the trigger on me.

Today, I pray to God. I truly believe I’m not in a movie or a chapter of some great romanticized novel. It’s real life. Real life.

I’ve seen so many things.

I may have been born in the desert, but I'm a citizen of the world. I’ve traveled and accomplished a lot for someone like me, in my age bracket, in my educational and artistic capacity. It’s hard for me to judge people and it’s hard for them… not to judge me. Easier to blame me.

That’s the problem.

Yeah. Something like that.