#being the only people who can make decisions for him

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 3

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

The shadows unceremoniously dumped a whole stack of Sellyn Drake Novels on Azriel’s desk.

Azriel eyed the stack of novels dubiously, wondering how in the Mother's blessed name the Shadows had gotten their hands on these. Or why.

But they stayed silent, clearly waiting for him to outright demand an answer. *Why?* he asked with a long suffering sigh. *What's this about?*

No response.

Azriel reached for one of the books, pulling it off the top of the stack and flipping it over. And immediately he regretted that decision. The cover was…certainly something.

A shirtless man holding a rather skimpily dressed woman up against a wall. 

Azriel let out a long, long sigh.

*You need to read the books, Master,* the shadows told him seriously.

Azriel stared at his shadows, then at the books, then at his shadows. *You cannot possibly be serious.* What exactly was this supposed to give him? 

He flipped it over, reading the synopsis. 

When Lady Eleanor is forced into an unwanted marriage, she despairs—until the enigmatic Sir Tristan, a battle-scarred knight with a fearsome reputation, crashes into her life. Bound by a promise to protect her, Tristan whisks Eleanor away from her gilded prison, thrusting them into a wild escape across enemy lands.

Haunted by his past and wary of love, Tristan tries to keep Eleanor at arm's length. But as they face danger together, a fierce passion grows between them, tempting them to trust in a love that could heal even the deepest wounds.

What the fuck. 

*We are, Master.* The Shadows told him, sounding as earnest as they possibly could.

He opened the book. Titled The Dark Knight’s Desire, flicking through the pages. Was this…a first edition?

*It’s important!* The shadows insisted. *You know…to brush up on these flirting skills of yours.*

Azriel shot the shadows an unamused look. *I can flirt perfectly well,* he protested.

*You most certainly cannot.* The Shadows deadpanned. *It’s research! Read them for her!*

*Read them for…* Azriel started, his voice trailing off.

*You found...* he trailed off weakly. They had found a female for him?

The shadows swirled around him almost playfully. *Of course we did,* they said innocently. *We told you we would, didn’t we?*

They were working quickly. It had only been weeks since he had agreed to let them find him a wife.

*You did,* Azriel said slowly, but his mind was working fast, so fast, trying to wrap around the idea that his Shadows were trying to help him find a wife…and more importantly, that they had found a female they thought he would find suitable.

*Where did you find her?* he asked, carefully.

*Here in Velaris!* the shadows answered brightly.

*Here?* Azriel asked, his surprise obvious. The shadows had found...a female...here in Velaris? Someone who was compatible with him? And they wanted him to read...what were these again? Sellyn Drake novels? So he would know how to best romance this female?

*Read the books, Master,* the shadows said with a sigh. So he did.

And that was how Azriel spent his next few hours. Reading a book, and blushing like some sort of adolescent boy when certain…particularly intimate scenes came around. The Shadows cackled beside him the entire time.

How the fuck did Nesta do this with a straight face?!?

Azriel had no idea, but by the Mother, he was never going to ask her. Ever. He would just die of embarrassment.

Though he needed to admit...he actually quite liked it.

The novels, that is. The…intimate scenes. Azriel liked them. A lot. Not even the...smut, like Nesta called it...no, he liked the love story. He liked the two people that came together and would do everything for each other...the falling in love part. He liked that.

But the Shadows were probably never going to let him live this down. Azriel did find comfort in a single thought, though. Whoever this possible future partner was, she was never going to know about this. There was no way in hell he would let her find out that he read smutty books to brush up his flirting skills.

But even that did not stop the nagging thought in Azriel's head, one that made him hesitate, and doubt himself, and doubt the Shadows' judgment. "What if..." he said softly, hesitantly. "What if she just...doesn't like me?"

He knew he had some...rough edges, to put it kindly. And he had his own...troubles. His own...insecurities. Some of the things he kept to himself, so many of his...issues. The shadows knew of them all, of course…There were many nights they stayed up with him, soothing him when the ghosts in his mind became a little too loud, a little too real.

What if that scared her? He didn't want her to be scared. He didn't want to scare her.

*She'll like you, Master.* The Shadows assured him, wrapping themselves around him comfortingly and soothingly. *She’ll love you.*

He exhaled. *Can you read minds now?*

*Only yours,* the Shadows assured him. *But as long as you don't cheat on her with her sister, you'll be doing a better job than her ex-partners!*

What. 

"Are you seriously reading a Sellyn Drake novel?" Only 5 centuries of training kept him from flinching as he looked up to find Cassian in his doorway.

"Nesta said it was good," he shot back flatly, not hiding the book, because that would just give Cassian even more reason to tease him. 

"You...actually listen to Nesta's...book recommendations?" Cassian stared at him, as if he had grown a third head.

"She is intelligent, and she reads more than either of us," Azriel shot back, sharply. "So yes, if she says it's good, I'll try it."

Cassian gave a slight shake of his head, not believing what he was hearing. "You are…actually reading a Sellyn Drake novel?" He repeated as if he couldn't quite believe that Azriel was actually doing that.

"Yes," Azriel said, his words clipped. "You have a problem with that?"

Cassian just stared at him for a long moment before letting out a quiet laugh. "No, I just never thought I would actually see the day that you read a Sellyn Drake novel."

"Well, I like it," Azriel said evenly. "It’s very are well written."

"And smutty," Cassian said with a grin.

Azriel rolled his eyes. "It’s are more than just...smut, Cassian, It actually has a story, and good characters."

"Characters who can barely keep their hands off each other long enough to solve the mystery, you mean," Cassian drawled, but Azriel ignored him, flipping a page. 

."Have you ever actually read a Sellyn Drake novel, Cassian?" Azriel asked, shooting him a look. "Or do you simply judge by the covers?"

Cassian just grinned, clearly enjoying this conversation and how defensive Azriel had become. "The covers are pretty damn attractive though."

Azriel rolled his eyes at that comment, but didn't respond. Just looked back down at the book, completely ignoring his brother.

"Are you coming to dinner tonight?" Cassian asked him instead. 

"No," he answered flatly. He did really want to know how the book ended.

*We found a house! We can show it to you!* the shadows hissed at that moment. Huh.

"There is something that needs my attention," Azriel said simply.

Cassian gave him a searching look, a frown etched into his face, but Azriel simple met his gaze. 

"Az," Cassian said quietly. "Come on."

"I have something I need to do, Cassian." Azriel's voice was still flat, but more firm, a clear sign that he did not want any arguments.

"Az," Cassian said again, and this time, there was a small thread of pleading in his voice. "Just… come have dinner with us. Please. It'll be good for you."

Good? Good to sit at Rhys' table and be told to "behave"? Azriel would rather eat crushed glass than do that. Which was the reasons why he skipped out of them as often as he possible could.

He knew, he knew that Cassian was just looking out for him, but that didn't mean that he felt like he was obligated to go.

"I have something I need to do," he repeated, his voice even.

Cassian sighed. "You are so goddamn stubborn," he muttered, but he let the subject drop, clearly knowing that Azriel was not going to listen.

That evening, instead of sitting through that dinner, Azriel let the shadows swirl around him in excitement, tugging on his jacket, practically dragging him forward.

*It's a lovely house, Master!* they said as they wrapped him in their embrace.

He blinked twice as he rematerialised in front of a lake. Somehow not quite what he had expected. But then…then he saw the house.

Grey stone and wood and the biggest windows he had ever seen that promised an breathtaking view over the lake… and nobody around as far as he could see. He stared at the house, a brow raised. It was nice…very nice. A little too nice. Exactly too his taste.

Azriel turned towards the shadows as he raised another brow. *And how exactly did you…* he started with a huff. *You know what, nevermind.*

He could already hear the shadows saying that they asked for a favor in exchange. Or maybe they stole it.

The house was still nice though, perfect really. He just…didn't want to know what they had done to get it.

Azriel glanced towards the building again. He could almost picture himself in the space, walking around, just….simply existing. It was peaceful and quiet…and he would not be…disturbed or bothered.

He could see himself reading in front of the fireplace, looking out into the night sky through the large windows. 

Azriel walked towards the building, his fingers brushing over the wall. He could feel it already….he could already feel his muscles loosening, his shoulders lowering from their stiff position.

Home, he thought as stepped into the space, the shadows following after him as his lips tugged upwards.

Yes, he could already see himself calling it that. Home. He liked the ring of it. 

*You're welcome, Master,* the shadows said as they swirled around him, nuzzling him affectionately. They were happy for him, so very happy for him.

The living room was spacious, filled with  overstuffed couches and armchairs made for wings… the view indeed was spectacular. And one long uninterrupted wall was lined with tall, massive bookshelves.

It was perfect.

*Does she like books?* he couldn't help but ask.

*Yes, Master! She loves books!* The Shadows assured him in an excited chorus.

She liked to read. That was the first little tidbit of information he learned about her.

*Will you tell me something else about her?* he asked them softly, as he kept exploring the house.

*What do you want to know?* the shadows asked.

*Did her ex-partner really cheat on her with her sister?* he wondered aloud.

*Yes. They are engaged to be married now,* the shadows answered. *He's an asshole,* they muttered darkly.

Azriel couldn't help but give a nod in agreement. An ass was too kind. Whoever he was, he was more than that. Azriel hated him, whoever he was.

*Anything else?* he asked the shadows, curious, so damn curious, to know more about the female.

*She has a cat. His name is Hector. He may be the ugliest cat in existence,* the shadows said primly, *but she adores him.*

Not what he expected, but it was...sweet. It was kind. She had a pet cat. His lips tugged upwards into an involuntary smile.

*And...?* he trailed off, waiting for a response. He was greedy, so damn greedy for more, so greedy to get to know the female more. His curiosity about her had grown to a fever pitch, it seemed.

The Shadows hummed thoughtfully. *She is very, very kind, Master,* they finally said softly.

Those words caused Azriel's smile to go soft, so damn soft. His heart fluttered at the Shadows' words. She was kind. She was kind and she had a cat that she adored. Her ex was an ass who cheated on her. She read, liked books, which meant she was intelligent, and…

Was he getting excited about someone he had never even met?

*When...when can I meet her?* he asked softly.

*Soon,* the shadows promised. *She doesn't leave the house that often...*

Azriel's brows drew together at that. *Why not?* he asked quietly, not sure if he really wanted the answer to that question.

The Shadows hesitated for a moment before responding. *People...people aren't very nice to her,* they admitted slowly.

Azriel blinked, confused. People...weren't nice to her...? But…why? What was there not to be nice about? From what he had gleaned, she was kind, had a cat, was smart, and liked books. What was wrong with any of that? It didn't make any sense.

*Why?* he demanded shaprly.*Because people are idiots as usual,* the shadows snapped right back. *People aren't nice to you either.*

Azriel gave a small wince at that, the shadows words hitting him like a bucket of ice cold water. But they were right, people weren't all the nicest to him, either.

Still...he didn't like the idea of her being treated poorly. He wanted...Gods, the want was so strong, all of a sudden. The want to…to protect her. To guard her, and protect her. To keep her safe. To make sure she was alright.

*Tell me when she leaves her house,* he demanded.

For a moment he could swear the shadows were nearly frozen in place.

*Change of Plans. Put on a different shirt,* the shadows said quickly. Azriel just stared at them.

*A different shirt?* he asked. He didn't even have any clothing here! That was back at the House of Wind. But the shadows were clearly not taking no for an answer.

He batted away a tendril as it started to unbuckle his fighting leathers and did it himself, only for them to shove him into a shirt that was so dark green it was nearly black and then start fussing with his hair.

Azriel barely had time to even process what was happening before the shadows were pushing him towards the door, still trying to fix and smooth his hair and clothes as they moved forward.

*What is the change of plan?* he asked them

*You are getting to see her right now,* the shadows said with a hint of glee to their voice. *Her sister and some friends are taking her to a bar.*

*The same sister that cheated on her with her ex-partner?* he demanded.

*Yes,* the shadows agreed in a hiss. 

Great. So he was going to have to stop a fight from happening, all while trying to meet the female he apparently was connected to? That was a...recipe for disaster right there..

*She'll be at the Crystal Drop* the shadows informed him, and his heart gave a strange little clench at those words. He was...he was actually going to get to meet her. Tonight.

The feeling of excitement was back, rushing through him like a wildfire. But there was also a hint of trepidation, a hint of nervousness. What if he screwed it all up? What if he messed things up? His stomach was suddenly full of butterflies.

Azriel didn't have time to dwell on those thoughts, though, as the shadows gave him a little nudge forward again, all but forcing him to start moving towards the tavern.

He could see it in the distance, the sign proclaiming it as “Crystal Drop”. It...it was right there. She was there... 

Taking a deep breath, he headed towards the bar, his heart pounding in his chest with every step that he took closer to the entrance. Gods, his hands were shaking. 

He was nervous. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was

He entered the tavern, and his eyes automatically went to the crowd, searching for...something.

The shadows let him towards a place in a corner where he could view the whole bar and he ordered a single fireale, because he was not getting drunk. He wanted his wits about him when he met her. 

But right now…right now, Azriel settled in to watch.

He watched the crowd, his eyes roving around, searching the whole tavern once again. He just wanted to know where the group was. He wanted to know where...she was.

*Do you see her, Master?* the shadows asked him, nearly teasingly.

*I have absolutely no clue how she looks, so how should I?* he gave back in a growl. The door opened and he watched as a group of females poured in...and then right there at the edges of that group...

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell on her, and...oh.

Between one blink and the next everything changed. A golden bond unfurled in his chest, connecting him to her.

Her.

He knew it.

She was his mate.

Mine. He whispered in his head, barely more than a thought. He knew it with every fiber of his being, every part of his heart.

He took her in hungrily. 

She was so beautiful. So, so beautiful. Azriel had to physically restrain himself from going over to her right then and there. 

He could hardly breathe. He couldn't form a coherent thought. His whole world had suddenly narrowed to the sight in front of her. His mate.

*Master?* There was alarm in the shadows voices as his breathing became near erratic.

*She's...You found my mate,* he said weakly.

The shadows hummed in confirmation and his eyes were glued to her still, drinking her in. She had long brown hair with soft curls, falling over back, bangs framing a rounded face with high cheekbones and plump cheeks...full rosy lips too and adorable freckles dotting over her nose...

She was the most beautiful being he had ever seen.  She was simply...stunning. 

And mine, he thought to himself. She was his. She was his mate.

He didn't even look at the rest of the group. Just focused on the one...the one who was at the edge of the group, seemingly trying to vanish, to become invisible. 

Even from the distance, Azriel could see the tension in his mate’s form. He frowned slightly at that. He didn't like it, seeing her like that.

He...his instincts were starting to kick in, a soft, protective urge rising up in him. He wanted to go to her, to...to stand by her side and ease away whatever was bothering her. But he stayed rooted to the spot, just...just watching her. Just watching his mate, the sight of her soothing every single little part of him until he felt warm all over.

He let the group settle at a table a few feet away from him, forcing himself to look down on the bottle in front of him and not stare at his mate like a total creep.

If he strained his ears, he could hear the whole conversation. Apparently it was his mate’s sisters Hen Party, the kind of celebration that some High Fae Females had before they got married.

Nice. Why not bring along your sister, when you were engaged to the guy that cheated with you on said sister?

The fact that his mate even came along into this bar that evening was probably a sign of how fucking nice she was. And Gods...no wonder his mate was so anxious...this whole thing was just...a disaster waiting to happen.

He glanced towards the group again, his attention once again immediately falling on his mate. He could see it, the small twitch of her fingers, the tightening of her lips...the small little things, and he felt his heart wrench at the sight.

She didn't talk. She was just sitting there silently, while the other females had a raucous conversation, that she wasn't part of. It made him bristle.

He didn't understand why they were doing that, why she wasn't a part of the conversation. She was right there. But they weren't listening, they weren't noticing her...or maybe they were ignoring her on purpose.

He...he didn't like it. He didn’t like it at all.  

Just minutes later, Azriel realised that he should have wished that they kept ignoring her.

Because Azriel was quite certain that he was going to slit his mate's sister's throat with Truthteller if she said one more word. 

The blonde, her sister, stared at his mate and this time a sharp, nasty smile curled on her lips. "Oh, what's the matter, little sister? Mad that I nabbed the male you were going to marry?" she taunted with a malicious grin. "I guess he just liked me better."

Azriel was so shocked that he could just sit there, staring. 

The other females laughed as the blonde continued, her lips curled in a sneer. "You should be happy for me, really," she said, her voice sugary sweet. "After all, you could never keep him happy. You've always been useless, haven't you?"

The comments made Azriel see red. What the hell was wrong with this female? Who treated their own sister like this? 

He had half a mind to go over there and wring her neck. 

*Don’t,* his shadows hissed. *You’ll make it worse.*

*Make it worse?! It can’t fucking get worse!* he hissed back. 

He itched to go over to the group, to protect his mate from these cruel, cruel words. 

*Yes, it can,* the shadows snapped. *What do you want to do? Massacre her sister right in front of her?!* Azriel growled under his breath. 

*Normally you are much more bloodthirsty,* he complained to the shadows. 

*You are the fucking spymaster. Act like it,* the shadows snapped. *You want us to make her sister’s life a misery? We’ll do it. We’ll do it and it will never be traced back to you. Besides, she deserves worse than a quick death.*

He clenched his teeth. 

The other females were laughing, but his mate...wasn't. She wasn't saying a single word, wasn't defending herself, wasn't saying anything. Just...just sitting there and taking the horrible abuse with a neutral, blank expression on her face.

"Cat got your tongue?" her sister asked her with a roll of her eyes. "I mean, it's not like you're good at talking, are you?" she asked her with a cruel little laugh. "Too bad for you that males want females that are able to have a conversation, not awkward little things who can't even speak when spoken to."

Azriel's body tensed as he listened to the words, every muscle coiled tight. It took every ounce of his control not to stride over to the group of females and punch her sister straight in the face. The only thing he wanted to do in that moment was to protect his mate.

The comment clearly found it's target, Azriel could see his mate flinch at the words, her face crumbling momentarily before it smoothed over into a neutral expression again. Gods...it must've hurt so badly to hear her sister speak to her like that…

*We’ll ruin her fucking life,* he vowed to the shadows. 

*Agreed, Master.”

Her sister rolled her eyes another time. "Come on, let's go," she told the other females. "You have the bill, don't you, Skylar?"

The words made Azriel snap. So the sister hadn't intended to even pay for her drinks in the first place? It was…they had just used her, he realised suddenly. Used her for the first stop on their tavern tour, to pick up the drink tab…and that was all she was good for in their eyes…

It was...Azriel couldn't stand by and watch this anymore, it made him so angry. So fucking furious.

"Ye...yes," his mate stuttered.

She looked so small in that moment, her eyes averted, her shoulders slumped, her hands trembling. She looked...wounded, so hurt, and Azriel was...he was sick of seeing her just accept this verbal abuse without a word. 

They left. They should thank the cauldron that they left at that moment, because otherwise Azriel would have made Cassian at his worst look like a puppy.

He wanted to storm after them, to give every single person in the group a piece of his mind, but that could wait. The most important thing right now was his mate. She was still here, after all. Azriel took a deep breath, and slowly, almost hesitantly walked towards her.

He watched as she didn't move, and he finally decided to speak, his voice a low, soft murmur. "Mind if I sit here?" he asked, gesturing to the chair beside her.

Her head turned, and he felt his heart stop as her eyes met his for the first time. Up close, her eyes were...mesmerizing. A deep, sparkling blue, framed by long, lush eyelashes. He couldn't look away from her.

And she stared at him, her mouth slightly open, her eyes near comically wide.

He gave her a soft, slow smile. "Hi," he greeted her, his voice gentle. She blinked a few times, still staring at him, and he found it so cute, how shocked she was that he was talking to her. 

Her mouth opened but no words came out. She was staring at him like a poor bunny rabbit would at an apex predator , caught in his grasp.

For just a moment her scent went utterly haywire.

Caramel and Hazelnuts. So sugary sweet that he would have gladly rolled around in it. And she just stared at him, wide eyed, silent...until suddenly the scent changed to incadescent happiness.

"Oh." A small sound escaped her as she swallowed.

And he knew. He knew at that moment that the bond had just snapped for her.

[jack-bytez-genuine-corner]

All of the interests that pushed him over the finish line this time have competing interests.

Republicans in his own party have no care but for their own power and relevancy. This is why they couldn't pass more than a tax cut for 2 years while he was in office last time. Wallstreet wanted the immediate sell off effect we are seeing. The ideologoues like SCOTUS, Heritage don't want a dictator but an authoritarian state they can control without risking retribution via voters. Trump wants full power including to kill his political adversaries and be Hitler.

Trump, in pursuit of that will force Wallstreet to deal with an economic recession that'll make COVID look quaint similar to how COVID made the great depression look small caused by terrible Republican economic policies. Yay, you get your tax cut, but now no one has money to buy milk that is 20 dollars instead of 10 a gallon cause the plastic is sourced from China which now has a 200% tarriff on it, do you set the price to 5 dollars so it's still 10 or do you let your company burn? This pits Wallstreet against the ideologoues. The Republican party wants to makes Trump all powerful, but dictators do not need supreme courts to overrule them, and even if they want to stack the courts they are going to be forced to toe that Trump line to stay in favor and in power even in the Courts, so what happens when you piss Trump off? What happens when Boebert an Gaetz isn't center stage like they like but these right wing judges who are upstaging them? You're telling me the same people who couldn't elect a speaker by majority vote will suddenly be disciplined enough to pass laws? Lol.

It's a circle jerk of bad outcomes for them, and the worst decision they made was refusing the olive branches Biden and thereby Harris gave to them. Reminder that Biden called segregationists good politicians, Biden called McConnell his friend even though McConnell is nigh solely responsible for Republicans stacking the courts like an asshole. These institutionalists were the fire wall between progressives being the majority of the party and Republican Lites running the show, and with the rebuke of Harris and other institutionalist Dems it will accelerate the push towards a populist message which will make Trump's racist panderings look like an old man badly performing the script of a porno. To make matters even worse, getting rid of McCarthy and McConnell in the same majority means that the Senate will descend into an absolute shit show not unlike the House.

Trump won off the backs of people choosing not to vote and a high energy Republican base with an entire media apparatus run by the wealthy doing everything in their power on every network to give him a leg up, and now that they caught the car and will have power: Now what? If Trump is Trump it will absolutely piss everyone off like it did in 2016 to 2020 which saw Republicans lose repetitively, but they can't stop running Trump cause he's the only thing their sexist racist audience likes, so now you have all the people who worked hard to push an election in Trump's favor now faced with reality: When the people you helped put in don't want you to have money and power when all you want is your own money and power, do you lay down and admit defeat, which you TOTALLY aren't, or do you have to readjust and realize that there will BE no Wallstreet, no Courts, no Republican party if you actually do what Trump tells you to do.

I'm banking on their insatiable greed and lust for power personally. The only bad part is innocent people will suffer cause we don't have compulsory voting in this country.

If it makes any of you feel better, Donald Trump will have an uphill battle to change the constitution. He will need:

-2/3 of Senators (60)

-2/3 of the House of Representatives (290)

-3/4 of the states (38)

In 2026, 33 senate seats will be up for grabs, and we’ll be able to vote for people who are against Trump and his ideals.

Breathe and remain hopeful because it’s not over. We can still fight and make Trump’s last four years hell.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

The drunk woman was relentless, invading Tommy's personal space as he tried to step back. He kept flashing his ring, but either she hadn't noticed or simply didn't care. Tommy glanced at his watch, grateful Evan hadn't arrived yet to see this mess.

"I'm just a poor girl all alone and new to the city," she slurred, pressing closer. "Can you help me get home safely? You can drive me, and then you can come up and I can thank you properly." She traced a finger down his arm. "I'm sure your wife wouldn't mind."

'Okay, she just doesn't care,' Tommy thought, taking a step back.

"I'm sure the bartender would be happy to call a cab for you," he said firmly.

"But you're so big and strong. I would feel so protected," she pouted, swaying slightly.

"I'm flattered, but I'm sure you'll be plenty safe," Tommy said, maintaining his distance. "And my husband won't like you all over me."

"Husband?" the woman spat, her flirtatious demeanor instantly shifting. "Seriously, you're gay?" Her slurred voice dripped with disdain.

It was at that exact moment that Evan appeared.

"Oh, he's very, very gay," Evan said, draping his arms over Tommy's shoulders and pulling him in for a steamy kiss.

"Hi, baby," Tommy said when they broke apart, his earlier tension melting away at his husband's presence.

"You can go now," Evan said dismissively to the woman.

"You're the husband?" she scoffed, looking Evan up and down with obvious judgment. "What a waste."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Evan asked, his voice sharpening. Tommy could feel him tensing up beside him.

"Not worth it, sweetheart," Tommy said softly, squeezing Evan's hand. He knew that tone in his husband's voice - the one that meant someone had struck a nerve.

"No, I want to know," Evan insisted, his jaw set. The playful possessiveness from moments ago had been replaced by something harder, more defensive. "What exactly is being wasted here?"

"Your lifestyle," she sneered, waving her hand dismissively. "Two big, strong, handsome men shacking up together."

"Shacking up?" Evan said, his voice dangerously quiet. The woman had crossed a line, and Tommy knew his husband well enough to recognize when he was about to snap.

"We're not shacking up," Evan continued, holding up his left hand where his wedding ring caught the bar lights. "We're married. Legally married. I walked down an aisle, said vows, signed papers, and promised to love this man for the rest of my life. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made."

Tommy's heart swelled, watching his husband defend their marriage.

"So no, it's not a waste. What would be a waste is if I pretended to be something I'm not just to make people like you comfortable. Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to have a drink with my husband."

"You people," the girl said, shaking her head in disgust.

Tommy felt Evan stiffen next to him, ready for another round, but this time Tommy stepped forward. He'd let Evan handle it his way, now it was his turn.

"Ah, 'you people,'" Tommy said, his voice calm but firm. "Let me tell you about 'us people.' My husband and I are first responders. We put our lives on the line every single day for others - including people who think like you do. I spent years hiding who I was because of that kind of hatred, afraid to be myself. But then I finally accepted who I really was, and that opened my heart to the possibility of love. And I found it - real, earth-shattering, life-changing love."

He pulled Evan closer, feeling his husband relax against him. "So the only waste here would be letting people like you make us ashamed of something so beautiful."

Tommy turned away from the woman, effectively dismissing her. "Come on, baby."

The woman slunk away into the crowd, her previous bravado gone.

"You ok, babe?" Evan asked, turning to Tommy with concern.

"Are you kidding?" Tommy said, pulling him closer by his belt loops. "That was extremely sexy watching you tell her off like that. Look how far my little baby bi has come."

"Couldn't have done it without you," Evan said softly.

"You know, I'm actually more hungry than thirsty," Tommy said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, is that so?" Evan replied, a knowing smirk spreading across his face."Well, we should probably do something about that."

"Yeah, we probably better," Tommy said, pulling Evan in for a heated kiss.

When they broke apart, Evan was speechless. He shook his head. "But not here."

"Right, right, let's get out of here."

They stumbled out of the bar together, Tommy tugging Evan along by their joined hands. Their laughter mixed with the night air, any trace of anger long forgotten replaced by the joy of just being together.

[derpiedoxie]

Alright this is most likely an emotional call to the void but it’s worth a shot

Election day is coming up tomorrow, and frankly, I’m terrified.

I’m terrified for every damn minority in the US if Trump wins.

I’m terrified for the rest of the world if Trump becomes president of one of, if not the most, influential country in the world.

And it’s painful seeing how close of a call it’s going to be.

It almost doesn’t feel real, with the two major sides.

One far too old to be in office republican who people like Putin have an interest in him being president, one that will make sure that women, people of colour, poor, queer and many other people will suffer, and the potential first ever woman president in American history with an international background, who will undoubtably be a better option than Trump, judging by her stance on woman’s bodily autonomy alone.

I hate, just like millions of others, having to watch helplessly as not only the US’s, but the worlds future is being determined, having to trust in the American people that they will make the right decision, and make sure that they vote for the person that will cause the least damage.

Yes, Kamala is flawed, but she does not want to ruin America and turn it into something unrecognisable like Trump does.

So please. If you can.

Vote tomorrow, on the 5th of November

Like my mum likes to say:

“Vote with minorities in mind.”

Thank you for reading.

[summermoa-ns]

.・。.・゜✭・Smart Mouth・✫・゜・。.

NSFW (18+ ONLY) MDNI

academic rival!taehyun x fem!reader

content warnings: drinking, drunk sex, unprotected sex, pet names (pretty girl, baby), small mentions of smoking/weed, slightly condescending Taehyun, fucking until ur dumb lol, if i missed anything else pls lmk!!

author's note: i've been on-and-off working on this fic until i started hating it! just needed to get it out of my system so i can finally work on other stuff! also i didn't really edit this, so sorry for any typos or grammar errors

song inspos: You Lose! By Magdelena Bay; Cologne by beabadooobee

“Hey… Y/n? Maybe you should slow down a little bit?” Yeonjun furrows his brows in concern as he watches you down your third shot in the last 10 minutes. 

Yeonjun’s worries fall on deaf ears as you suck the lime between your teeth. You just need something to fog your mind, to haze the racing thoughts and anger that swarms inside you. Something to distract you from the shitty day you just had. The logical part of your brain is screaming at you to heed Yeonjun’s advice, but you’re not at this party to be smart and logical like you usually are. You are at this party to make bad decisions: to make up for the time you wasted chasing after something, and having it ripped away from you anyway. 

Usually, you’re not at these types of parties. Usually, you spend your free time in front of a laptop, coding for your lab. Or maybe burning your retinas as you stare holes through research journals, looking for articles to cite. Maybe even clocking in overtime hours, proctoring experiments that you were begged to cover last minute.  Day in and day out, you give everything to your lab, and yet they decide to go with him? After doing everything the PhD students and postdocs ask of you– for three fucking years– they give the head coordinator position to him? And now here you are fucking thinking about your lab even though the whole point of being at this dumb party is to not think about it and-

Yeonjun’s soju bottle hitting the table snaps you back into reality. 

After his swig, he waves a hand in front of your face, “Aye, you still here?” Yeonjun’s fingers blur and distort as they move in front of you. The blasting music and sounds of people socializing blend into a slurry. Shit, those shots are finally hitting.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” the words fumbling over themselves as they exit your mouth. You rub the palm of your hand into your forehead, turning to look as Beomgyu greets someone at the front door. 

Your stomach drops when you see who comes through the door. Everything seems to slow down and unravel as the tall figure entering the house does some stupid dude-bro handshake with Beomgyu. His chocolate brown hair, his lean figure, his twinkly eyes: you could recognize him from miles away. The heat rising in you is sobering; it blisters in your lungs as you stare at him from across the house. The last 24 hours come crashing down on your shoulders again.

Yeonjun looks over to what has captured your attention and his eyes widen. “Ah fuck!” 

“Jun,” you slowly turn towards your fox-eyed dumbass of a friend, “I thought you said you double-checked with Gyu to make sure he wasn’t coming tonight.”

“I did, Y/n! I swear on my life!”

“Then why are we staring at the Kang Taehyun in your living room?”

Yeonjun runs his hand through his hair, huffing out his answer, “I don’t know! Maybe he changed his mind?”

You look over at Taehyun’s direction again, and your eyes meet. Your heartbeat quickens. His eyes squint, not hiding how he has spotted you. Fuck. You don’t even have time to process and suddenly Taehyun is standing across the kitchen island from you and Yeonjun. 

He leans forward and whispers to you, “Wow, I didn’t expect to see you here~” 

It’s amazing how you could see straight after how hard you rolled your eyes at him. The chocolate-haired boy chuckles in response. Taehyun greets Yeonjun who makes it brief. He may be a little dense, but even Yeonjun knows not to get too chummy with the bastard you were talking shit about all evening. 

“I was just about to leave, actually!” You begin getting up when a firm pair of hands push your shoulders back into the stool.

You turn in shock and see Beomgyu pouting at you, “Y/n~ you never hang out with us anymore. Can you just stay a little longer?” He whines, but you hear a hint of mischief in his voice. 

You try to protest, but before you can utter a sound Beomgyu interrupts, “Plus, you still owe me from that time you promised to treat me out on my birthday… and NEVER did…”

Fuck. You totally forgot about that. You look at Beomgyu and he gives you the biggest, pleading puppy-dog eyes. An irritated sigh escapes your teeth. “Fine.”

Taehyun is already opening the soju bottle with ease. He smiles as he pours a shot for himself, “Uh oh, Beomgyu! You made the pretty girl mad!”

God, he pisses you off. 

Taehyun, the golden boy: good merits with all his peers and professors, at the top of everything he does. When you both joined your psychology lab, it honestly was nice at first. You grew pretty close being in the same cohort. You both seemed driven and, as first-years, shared a lot of interests and hobbies. The only difference between you being Taehyun’s natural ability to succeed. In the beginning, you didn’t notice. Every class, every test, every paper: Taehyun aced with flying colors, while you chased after him, just out of his reach. But it was fine because you were friends. Taehyun would smile, ruffle your hair, and say “maybe next time”. 

But there was never a next time. Even in the middle of your final year at uni, Taehyun has topped you every single time. Though the rest of the department sees your rivalry as light-hearted and playful, a darkness grew underneath it all. Frustration. Anxiety. Jealousy. As the gap between your abilities became more and more apparent,  his “kind” remarks began to sting more and more. The more he teased you, the more tired you became of his patronizing nature. Eventually, you pushed him away.  

No longer stuck in your ruminations, you catch yourself staring as Taehyun pours a giddy Yeonjun and Beomgyu a shot. He tilts the bottle towards you, “Do you want one?”

Yeonjun starts talking before you say anything, “I think it’s better if she sits this one ou-”. You place your shot glass in front of Taehyun before Yeonjun can finish.

“I can handle myself.”

Beomgyu giggles, wrapping an arm around you, “See, I missed you!! Still as bitchy and smart-mouthed as ever!”

Taehyun cocks his eyebrow at you, “I missed that too.” He pours the shot to the brim.

—

Due to spite, you feel extra pissy today. Or maybe it’s because Taehyun has made it a point to hover wherever you are in this damn house. You want to watch the beer pong tournament happening in the backyard? There’s Taehyun wanting to join suddenly. You want to take some mirror selfies with Sakura in the hallway mirror? Taehyun is posing in the background of some of your pics! You want to pass a joint with Heesung and chill on the upstairs balcony? Taehyun just decides he wants a couple of hits too! 

You finally get some peace and quiet by wandering to one of the empty rooms on the second floor. You sit down by the foot of the bed.

You feel defeated, for some odd reason. The whole goal of tonight was to get Taehyun off your mind, and yet he’s creeped into every crevice in your brain, invading every thought. How he downs shots exposes his pretty neck, how his eyes brighten when he smiles for pictures, how soft and big his hands are when you hand him a joint… Ugh. You mentally smack those images out of your head.

There’s a little secret you would take to your grave: the main thing that pisses you off about Taehyun is that he is drop dead gorgeous. It’s just all too unfair. A person can’t be insanely smart and look like an S-tier model. There really should be rules about that. But it’s evident God has favorites, and Taehyun is one of them. Being cross-faded also hasn’t helped with these thoughts. You feel floaty and a bit too…vulnerable. Like everything is threatening to burst from your chest.

The light from the hallway lights up the room for a second as the door opens. It’s the last person you want to see. 

“Taehyun, please. Just leave me alone,” you sigh, not bothering to hide your irritation.

He scoffs, “Happy to see you too,” He closes the door behind him and leans against it.

As you both soak in the silence you can’t help but grow confused by his persistence. How does he just keep popping up everywhere?

“Is there a reason you’ve been following me tonight?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking abou-“ You stand up and get in his face before Taehyun can finish his sentence: just close enough to smell the alcohol on his lips. 

“I’m not stupid, Tae. So please, just tell me what you want.”

He raises his arms up, “Okay, okay. You got me. I’ve just been trying to find a moment to talk: in private.” 

He takes a deep breath. He leans into the door harder, tilting his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose, “Why are you acting like this?”

Your eyebrows scrunch. “Huh?”

“Y/n, you never come to these types of things. I’ve invited you to them plenty of times,” he continues, “then out of the blue, you come with Jun of all people.”

“I know I’m a shut-in, but I’m allowed to have fun every once in a while.” God, how many times is he going to make you roll your eyes tonight?

His face grimaces with an emotion you’re not familiar with, “I’m not saying that. You just never want to…”

You impatiently cut off his sentence, getting closer to him by the doorway. “Want to what?!” 

“You never want to go out with me. You never want to hang out with me. You basically avoid me all the fucking time.”

Taehyun’s arms fall loosely to his sides, “I just don’t get why you hate me so much.” You look up at his face and are hit with a pang of guilt. Is he… actually sad right now?

“I never said I hated you.”

“I can’t help but feel that way. You never talk to me anymore.” 

In the quiet you realize how little space there is between you two. The atmosphere feels dangerous, heavy, and hot. You catch Taehyun sneaking a glance at your lips. You’re scared to see where this goes, scared of breaking the tension.

You bite down, wanting to flee from the guilt and shame bubbling in your stomach. You take Taehyun’s hand and try to pull him off the door to make your escape, but he flips you both. Now you’re pinned in between the door and Taehyun.

“Stop running from me, please.” 

His voice is warm and dark and weak like a dying bonfire. Your body shudders in response. His arm is slammed next to you, propping his body up so he can lean over you. “I’m so tired of chasing after you.” 

He says it so quietly into your ear, you almost convince yourself that you must have misheard him. The only thing that grounds your conviction that you heard correctly is how Taehyun’s free hand softly grips the hair on the back of your head, how his face finds solace in the crook of your neck, how gently his breath grazes that sensitive part of your skin. Suddenly your body feels like it’s on fire, and you’re not sure if you can handle it.

“Tae,” you breathe out softly. “Wait…,” but your objection is only met with the alcoholic heat of Taehyun’s lips. He tastes like the bitter aftertaste of lychee soju and mint chapstick and it knocks the air out of you. You buckle under his weight, instinctively gripping at his shirt for support. He is needy and gasping and crumbling in your hands: a complete 180 from the Taehyun you’re used to.

You manage to separate yourselves, both of your lips bruised and wet. “Tae, wait please!” To your surprise, he listens, but you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s trying hard to restrain himself. 

“You’re drunk!” You push against him, trying to make more space between you two, but to no avail. “Y-you’re really fucking drunk, and not thinking straight. Let’s not do anything we’ll…” You swallow as you catch a glimpse of Taehyun’s lips, “... regret.”

Taehyun cups your face in his hands and looks at you with so much clarity despite all of the alcohol in his veins. The abrupt roughness of the earlier kiss is contrasted by how gently he holds you. The gravity of his stare lingers in the air for a second until he finally answers.

“I’ll only regret it if you end up regretting it. So tell me clearly that you want me to stop.”

“Wha–?”

“I want you to say it. As clear as day. I’ll give you until the count of three: just tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop. Otherwise,” he puts his forehead against yours, “I’ll keep doing what I want.”

He starts. “One…”

The room is still and quiet except for your heart knocking against the door, drowning out the muffled music from outside. This should be easy, you think, you just need to tell Taehyun to stop. You say stop, Taehyun stops: simple, logical cause and effect. But despite those thoughts rolling into your brain, something primal in you holds your tongue. The way Taehyun’s woody cologne sticks to your clothes and the desperate way he’s panting after that first kiss makes you ache for more. The way his sculpted body feels under your palms and the way you can tell he’s undressing you with his eyes is all too intoxicating.

“... two…”

Your breathing is in sync with him. Taehyun is holding onto every little sound you make as he finds his way nuzzling back into your neck. He fully leans into you and you feel how hard he is. Your breath hitches and you feel him smile against your skin; his hot length twitches from inside his jeans. It excites you how he responds to your tiniest reactions. Curious to test the waters, you slightly grind against him which earns you a small, restrained groan from his lips. You want to hear him more, want to feel him more. It’s against your better judgment…. 

But remember? You’re not here to be smart: you’re here to make bad decisions.

Taehyun doesn’t even get to three before you crash your lips into his. You wrap your arms around his neck and he takes the opportunity to feel you up as you both blindly stumble to the edge of the bed, not daring to break the kiss as you straddle him. You feel Taehyun impatiently pull at the bottom of your blouse, you smile and untangle yourself from him in response, letting him take off your top. He also takes this time to rip his shirt off of him, and damn: built like a damn Greek statue, carved and polished to perfection. You could have stared at him all night if he didn’t flip you underneath him.

Hovering over you, Taehyun takes a moment to take in the view. His hand traces over the edge of your lace panties. “Wow, did you wear these just for me?” 

You prop yourself up to kiss Taehyun’s cheek. “No,” you playfully pout at him, “but I’m letting you take them off of me. So be thankful.”

He chuckles at your snide comment, “God, I love it when you talk like that.”

Taehyun starts leaving a blazing trail of kisses, saliva, and bites down your neck, taking some time to leave some blooming hickeys around your collarbone. He gets to your chest and while he marks his territory, he reaches underneath you and unclasps your bra. You have no time to marvel at his mastery when you gasp at his tongue swirling around your nipple. His hand makes quick work of your body, gripping and massaging your other breast, lightly pinching your other bud in between his index and thumb. 

You throw your head back in ecstasy, softly sighing. Taehyun takes his time; his mouth switching between your breasts indiscriminately and occasionally taking a break to kiss the valley in between them. While you squirm under his touch, you feel your wet core ache for more. 

“Taehyun…” you whine.

He looks up at you while swirling his tongue around one of your buds. He hums in a questioning tone, refusing to let his mouth leave your body. 

“Taehyun please…need more of you…”

He finally pauses and his smile wickedly spreads across his face, “Tell me what you want, pretty girl.”

“Mouth… please. Can I have your mouth please?”

You feel the heat of Taehyun leave your chest as he gets up to quickly strip your panties off of you. You hold your breath when you feel the chill of the room hit you; everything, everywhere is aching. You just want him to touch you, to taste you. It isn’t until you feel the grip of Taehyun’s strong hands around your thighs and the plump soreness of his lips on your hot core that your breath hitches. 

You grip Taehyun's hair while he pulls you full force to his face. How his tongue laps into you, how he switches to intensely sucking on your clit, how he pants as he places the wettest kisses against your inner thighs. The rhythm of his tongue puts you in a trance as your eyes roll to the back of your head.

Taehyun absolutely loves giving head. He has had his fair share of partners, so his palette is pretty… experienced. But something about you was so addicting. He thought you tasted like heaven; a flavor so delicious, he could imagine savoring it every night and morning. He could keep your thighs clamped around his face all night if you would let him. 

This entire time Taehyun has been pushing you further and further to your bliss. Your body threatens to unravel with every swirl from Taehyun’s tongue, but never quite reaching the tip. However, it all comes crashing down and the coil in your stomach finally snaps the minute he pushes two fingers deep in you. The sounds that escape you are unholy and all you see is white as Taehyun brings you past your orgasm, overstimulating you.

“God, baby, you’re so wet for me already. I was able to fit my fingers in so easily,” he smiles triumphantly at his soaked hand, “Where’s that smart mouth from earlier, huh?”

You whine, riding your drunken high as you grind on his hand. Your walls pulse around him as he thrusts his fingers rhythmically. Happily smiling to himself, he returns his lips to their rightful home: in between your legs, lightly lapping at your clit. Taehyun is having way too much fun now. Your reactions? Your sounds? Your body? Complete, utter perfection. It’s taking every bit of his self-control to not whip out his dick and slam it into your dripping cunt. Every whimper and moan that comes from you makes his cock throb like crazy. 

It’s certain everyone in the hallway knows the room is currently “occupied” even over the blaring music. You’re too lost in all the sensations running through your system to care about your volume. Then, you feel Taehyun’s fingers curl into that magic spot: the spot you can never quite reach by yourself. The spot that usually needs the help of toys and vibes. Still coming down from the crash of your previous orgasm, you instinctively push away from Taehyun’s hand, almost scared of feeling any more pleasure. But this reaction doesn’t escape the devious eyes of the boy in between your legs. 

Taehyun pauses his movements and asks from below, “Can’t take anymore, baby?” His stare softens a bit as he kisses around your thighs.

You’re conflicted; you don’t want this moment to stop, but feel like you might melt into the sheets if you continue. A small whisper leaves your lips, “I-I think I can, it’s… it’s just a lot all at once.”

“Oh baby,” he coos, “but you can take it for me, right?” Before you can answer, his fingers curl up and hit the spot once more. Again, you feel the heat in your lower stomach release and those aching waves envelope your body, even more powerful than last time. You blink away tears from your eyes, digging your nails into Taehyun’s shoulders as you scream out his name. 

Taehyun continues cleaning the honey dripping out of you with his tongue, his cock twitching every time you whimper out a plea for him to fuck you already. Now that you’re ready for him, Taehyun doesn't have to hold back anymore. He tries to hide how eagerly he is stripping off his pants, but you can still tell in your tipsy haze that he is brimming with enthusiasm. However, Taehyun stops as he hovers over you.

“Last chance to back out now, baby.”

You wrap your legs around his waist, “You’re not fucking going anywhere.”

He rubs the tip of his cock along your entrance. He wets his lips, amused by your answer, “Fair enough.”

Even with proper preparation, the stretch is enough to make you arch your back. Taehyun grips the sheets– his knuckles turning white– until he bottoms out inside you. You grip into his back, pulling him flush against you. His brows are furrowed in complete concentration as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You both stay there for a second, steadying your breaths.

After what feels like an eternity, you adjust to Taehyun’s length and feel ready. However, Taehyun stays still, unmoving.

“Tae… you can move now,” You say, pushing your hips against to demonstrate your willingness.

Taehyun groans, “I know, baby… you just–,” he nearly whimpers, “you just feel really good. Give me a sec…”

A sense of pride swells in your chest. The usually measured, deliberate Kang Taehyun has become a mess just from slipping it in. A coy smile spreads across your face as you wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer.

“Aww, is someone struggling right now? Did I make you feel too good?”

Silence. You feel a slight shift in the air that makes you shiver. Silence. Until Taehyun lifts his chest off of you– pulling back his hips– and looks down at you. His stare makes your blood run cold. One of his hands grips onto the headboard, making him hover you. Taehyun snaps a hard thrust back into you, making you moan in surprise.

“I see that smart mouth I love so much is back,” he icily smiles down, “and I’m going to fuck it out of you.”

There’s no warning, no precaution, as Taehyun brutally begins fucking you into the mattress. He grips the headboard, causing it to knock against the wall in a frantic rhythm. Taehyun’s hips piston into you as you claw into the pillow you lay your head on. With every thrust, you feel yourself clamp around Taehyun’s cock, your mouth agape from the sheer pleasure coursing through you. 

“That’s it, pretty girl. Take all of me,” Taehyun breathes into your neck before taking a long lick along your throat. “How does it feel? Feels good?”

You can’t even form words, you feel like a mindless doll as you frantically nod at Taehyun’s question. You feel him pulse inside you as he flashes you a cocky smile. His hand leaves the headboard, moving so both hands grip into your hips, allowing for more leverage. 

“Bet it fucking does. Fucking you so dumb, you can’t even talk,” He punctuates each word by slamming his full length into you, making you see stars.

With Taehyun’s constant teasing and unruly speed, it doesn’t take long for you to feel your next orgasm peeking from behind the horizon. Your hands reach down, cupping over Taehyun’s on your hips.

You don’t even have to say anything, you look into Taehyun’s eyes and he just knows. Taehyun grabs your knees and pushes them down towards your chest, leaning into you for a searing kiss; it’s filthy and lustful and pushes you right over the edge towards your release. You let out a low moan into Taehyun’s mouth, your walls fluttering around his dick. With that, Taehyun’s force becomes more erratic as he chases his own high. He pulls away from your kiss and starts nipping at your ear. His breathing becomes more shallow and quick each time your hips meet, little sounds escaping his plump lips.

“Fuck, baby, gonna cum in this pretty pussy,” he growls.

A final push and Taehyun stills inside you, releasing a few hot pumps, until he begins to soften. When he pulls out, you can feel the mixture of your arousals spill out of your fucked-out pussy. Taehyun plops down next to you, both of you still coming down from your respective highs. The silence is broken by Taehyun chuckling, pulling you into his arms.

“Yeonjun is going to be so fucking pissed at me,” he laughed. 

You looked up at him in confusion, “Wait, what? Why?”

“Because this is definitely his room.”

Your eyes dart around the room: signed concert posters of bands you recognized on the wall, a closet full of stylish clothes, the bluetooth speaker he always brought to dance practice. Fuck. This was totally Yeonjun’s room.

Your hands shoot up to cover your face, groaning, thinking about how Yeonjun would scold you for getting his bed “dirty”. But your panic subsides as Taehyun presses his lips into your check, giving you a quick peck.

“Ehh, I’m sure it’ll be fine…,” Taehyun hums, flashing you that same cocky smile, “we can talk our way out of it.”

You snuggle into his chest, Taehyun’s smile no longer causing bitterness and resentment to flood your thoughts, but something much warmer… 

“...This is what he gets for not warning me about you coming to the party.”

“Okay… maybe don’t start running that smart mouth next time we see him. I’ll do all the talking, alright?”

[bubblez-bubble]

But like, what if he was the ONLY one she couldn't remember. Like whoever erased him also took the time to fill in the blanks with other people in her life, or worse, with themselves, to make it nearly impossible for her remember him naturally. Then they find out that it can't be reversed with magic.

So now, Lucy remembers everything differently. Happys upbringing was Lisanna and her siblings and when she "died", he continued to live with Mira and Elfman until Lisanna returned. Every time Lucy was saved, she remembers someone else saving her. She doesn't even know where Natsu lives because in her head Happy lives with the Strauss siblings. She even remembers E.N.D. being someone else.

So Natsu makes it his life mission to make Lucy to remember him. But eventually he finds out that he's hurting Lucy by shattering her new reality, so he decides to give up and keep his distance. But by this point Lucy wants to remember him because she's gotten to know him all over again and wants to keep going on adventures with him, so now he's hurting her emotionally by avoiding her, but he doesn't know that because he thinks he's sparing her the pain of her memories altering again and he thinks even his presence will hurt her even more, even though it kills him to ignore her when she tries to talk to him in rare passings between his now frequent work schedule that he's taken on to avoid her further to protect her.

Eventually, Lucy decides to leave him be, devastated that Natsu won't even acknowledge her anymore, choosing to respect his decision to keep his distance. For several days, they live separate lives, keeping their distance.

This situation is actually affecting Happy worse than anyone else. He doesn't know what to. Mom and dad aren't okay and it makes him sad but he doesn't want to cry and make things harder for Natsu. So he keeps being same old Happy, trying to maintain some sort of normalcy.

Natsu takes a job where he encounters the person who altered Lucy's memoires and erased him from her life. The taunt Natsu about his misery, about her not having any idea who he is, about him losing the person he cared about most in the whole world. Natsu, furious, goes full etherious. Happy quickly flees to find Lucy.

When he finally finds Lucy and explains everything to her, she hesitates, explaining that she wants to be around him and wants to remember him, but he's been avoiding her so she didn't want to push him cause he seemed to be uncomfortable around her and thinks she'd just make it worse, thinking she shouldn't go. This angers Happy because she's "the only one who can stop him" and an argument ensues.

While that's happening, Natsu, thinking to himself what's the point in holding back if Lucy can't be part his life anymore, as his body slowly begins to be torn apart by his own power, as he loses himself to the etherious.

Meanwhile, with Lucy and Happy, after she explains Natsu ignoring her hurt her more than trying to remember ever could, they both apologize and go to stop Natsu.

By the time they arrive, Natsu has completely lost himself to his etherious form and power as he's destroying everything around him including himself without regard or restraint, raging in the middle of a wasteland of his own making, the person who altered Lucy's memories badly beaten near death. Lucy begins to approach him, calling out to him, begging him to stop. She catches Natsu's attention, who is completely checked out mentally and is essentially just a shell of himself, as he charges her. She doesn't want to hurt him so she doesn't fight back and just tries to avoid his blows, but he's too fast and eventually strikes her with a fatal blow.

Happy screams their names, causing Natsu to stop as he watches in slow motion as Lucy slowly falls to the ground, focusing on the smile on her face. As his conscious slowly returns, he begins pleading with himself, begging to wake up from the nightmare as he glances over Lucy's body focusing on her injuries, teary eyes, and warm and gentle smile. He kneels down next to her asking himself what he's done, pleading with Lucy to stay with him.

Lucy caresses his cheek explaining everything to him, how she wanted to remember him from the very beginning and how she knew from the moment she met him after her memories were that he was someone special but she couldn't remember why. She apologizes for causing him so much trouble lately saying she just wants to remember how important he was to her, like she is to him. She then asks Natsu to promise that they'll be together forever and that he'll never give on helping her remember him so they can go on more adventures together. Natsu agrees without hesitation telling her she has to promise to live, to which she agrees.

She continues to smile at him as she fades out of consciousness as Natsu's begging for her to hold on promising to get her help as he picks her up and starts rushing back to the guild for help. After treatment it's revealed Lucy is in a coma like state and there is no guarantee when she will wake up if she ever does.

Natsu, keeping his promise, doesn't work for many weeks, even months, waiting for Lucy to wake up, always staying with her like he promised.

Meanwhile, Lucy, in her coma, is getting to relive every moment she ever had with or about Natsu, eventually hearing him calling out to her asking her to wake up. She says she wants to see Natsu again, and so she ends up projecting her spirit, seeing Natsu and Happy sitting next her, holding her hand, telling her stories and recalling all their memories together. It's here that Lucy realizes she got to relive all those memories because Natsu was relaying them to her unconscious self causing her subconscious to recreate them.

Lucy then says she can't take it anymore saying she doesn't just want to see him, she wants to be with him, calling out to him, screaming that she remembers, saying all she wants is to wake up and be with them again. To go on more adventures, to laugh, to be able to hold them in her arms again.

Then she suddenly wakes up, tears in her eyes. As she sits up, the three of them just stare at each other in silence. Natsu suddenly drops to his knees begging for her forgiveness. She tells him there's nothing to forgive and that everyone makes mistakes, especially when consumed with grief and hopelessness, the darkness can completely take over that way.

Natsu and happy start sobbing as they just stare at her. She gets up and scoops up Happy before pulling them both in for a tight hug and thanking them for always being there for her and looking out for her and for being the best friends and teammates she could ever ask for.

They reconcile and their relationship is now stronger than ever, but now Lucy is starting to deal with an internal conflict about whether or not she loves Natsu so she starts being awkward around him making him feel sad like she hadn't actually meant what she said but it's actually just a misunderstanding.

Or something like that...

Imagine how devastated Natsu would be if someone caused Lucy to lose all her memories of him

[griddleharkbrainrot]

I love movie Charles Xavier, but comic Charles should NOT have been allowed in charge of students. Anyway, I have a LOT of thoughts about Charles as a parent who is trying his best but he does not know how to raise a kid. So here are my thoughts on what was going through his mind when he made the decisions he did.

They put you in charge of children. There are so many of them with tiny little faces and impressionable little minds and it is your job to protect them. To teach them how to protect themselves. The world hates them, wants to crush them just for existing and it’s your job to be their shield until they can be their own sword. You are one man and there are so many of them. 

There used to be Erik. It was supposed to be the two of you together, him on the offensive while you protected the homefront. A team working together so that your kind could be safe, but Erik left and now it is just you. 

You do not know how to be a parent. When they come to you with skinned knees and hurt feelings, are you supposed to soothe their aches or teach them how to face them? Thinking back to your own parents, you only remember being tossed aside and told to deal with it. What are you supposed to do? You decide that the world will be cruel and so you should teach them how to face the pain head on and keep going. You decide it is time to teach them how to fight. Later they will tell you this is a mistake. Your children will never forgive you from turning from their father to their drill sergeant. This is the day you go from a family to an army joining the war. They are too young for this conflict.

Little Jean does not know how to deal with the voices in her head. There are so many and they ricochet and clash against her thoughts. Something in your heart aches for this young girl and the familiar pain but you do not have time to address it. You teach her how to build up the wall in her mind, how to block the others out. You tell her all you have learned of how others will distrust her for her power, how she must be careful so she is not hated. You do not notice the tears forming in her eyes or the little arms reaching out for a hug. You have already turned away to address the next crisis. There is only one of you and so many children.

You don’t know when Scott started calling you Proffesor instead of Dad. When he stopped coming to you with his nightmares and headaches. You tried everything you could to help him but it wasn’t enough. Children need reassurance, clear affection and love, something you’ve never really been able to express. How do you tell them that you are proud of all they have accomplished? You give Scott command of the team, trying to communicate how you believe he can do this, how strong he is. You do not see his shoulders droop as another responsibility rests on them. He is a child and he is a soldier and he must protect his people. He weilds himself like a shield not caring for his own safety in an attempt to make you proud. He does not know that you already are.

Erik has children now. Two little girls and a boy, all mutants. They follow him like ducklings, showing off for their father and squabbling with each other. You think fondly back to the days when your little ones would trail after your wheelchair, all clambering for your attention. When did they stop? Your children have grown from tiny breakable little things into battle hardened soldiers. The whole world looks to them as the face of mutant kind. They can not take a step out of line or mutants everywhere will face the consequences of humanity’s fickle temper. It was not supposed to be this way. They were supposed to be children and the adults would protect them. What changed?

You know what changed. Erik left and you broke. You do not know how to be a father, how to do this alone. You are a teacher and you have learned how to be a general, how to be a politician, wielding people like chess pieces in a greater game. But somewhere along the way you lost sight; for these are not pawns, they are your wards, your students, your sons and daughters. They return from their missions weary and injured, something in their spirits breaking. 

You were given children and raised soldiers. You are Charles Xavier: teacher, politician, activist, and general, but you have not earned the title of father.

[holylulusworld]

SHG for killers (1) - The first meeting

Summary: 6 men meet up to talk about their problems. They soon realize they need someone to help them solve their problems. This person is you. Whether you like it or not.

Pairing: Steve Kemp x fem!Reader, Lloyd Hansen x fem!Reader, Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x fem!Reader, Andy Barber x fem!Reader, God, the bounty hunter x fem!Reader, Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of murder/killing for money, serial killers/hitmen, mentions of blood/gore, talk about crimes, self-help group for killers/hitmen, world building, we get to know the men first

Self-help group for killers masterlist

“IT STINGS!” His screams of pain and agony echo in Lloyd Hansen’s mind when he wakes from another restless slumber.

He’s a stone-cold mercenary. Merciless and fearless. Or he was. That was until a certain former CIA lapdog pissed onto everything Lloyd stands for. It doesn’t help that he lost two fingers while hunting Six down.

“Bastard,” he curses under his breath as his eyes focus on his hand mutilation. “Still miss my pussy fingers,” Lloyd grumbles angrily. “Wait until I find you, Sierra Six. You’re a dead man; you just don’t know it yet.”

He closes his eyes, replaying the scene again. Lloyd grits his teeth, remembering how he got into a grapple with Six, who blew off Lloyd's left pinkie and ring finger.

The finger prosthetics don’t make him feel better. Sierra’s win over him, the loss of his fingers and reputation, still stings. His self-confidence and ego were not only bruised but torn in two.

For months, he fails mission after mission. His team is long gone, and so is his patience. Lloyd is angry and out for blood. Preferable Sierra Six’s blood.

He tried anything to find the renegade assassin. So far, he didn’t even find a trace. Sierra Six is a master at hiding from his enemies. Lloyd gives him that.

“One day, you’ll pay for what you did.”

“No drugs. No contact with other offenders. No missing an appointment,” Ransom’s probation officer recites all the rules he must follow. “Mr. Drysdale, did you even listen?”

“All of you are telling me the same thing.” Ransom sneers. “You’re the fifth guy in not four months. I know the rules.” He leans back in the uncomfortable and cheap chair the probation officer offered him. “All of you try to get me behind bars again; I get it. You’re pissed because I got earlier than everyone expected.”

“Mr. Drysdale,” the probation officer replies, watching Ransom munch another cookie. “I really don’t have the time to make plans to get you behind bars again. That’s not in my job description. If you don’t have any problems, we can end the meeting for today.”

“Shit, just a sec.” Robert doesn’t have the time to talk to his ex today. “Listen, you got the money and the car. Let’s part on good terms.” He’s poorly hiding his anger. If she says one more word, he’ll sneak into her new apartment and kill her and the bastard who’s banging her brains out now. “I got a job to do.”

Robert hangs up the phone. He’s not done with the body yet. The client wants proof that her husband is dead. She’s a naughty one, Robert thinks to himself while getting the saw out. Well, all for customer satisfaction.

The doctor is not happy. He tried anything to make sure his business was flowing. Sadly, some people try to stop him from being successful.

“You had to cross me, didn’t you?" He looks down at his former partner and sneers. “We could’ve made so much money. But you had to find your conscience.”

Steve kicks the dead man, grunting as he’s bleeding on the brand-new carpet at his office. Killing his partner wasn’t in his plans for today. It’s not the first time he got his hand dirty.

If Steve were honest, he’d admit that he likes to get his hands dirty. As a doctor, he should save other people’s lives, not take them. Still, he can’t help but feel excited about his latest decision.

Watching the family grieve over the death of their recently killed father and husband, God furrows his brows. He never understood human emotions. The man he killed was a tyrant. He betrayed his business partners, terrorized his family, and cheated on his wife.

The man remains in his hideout to watch the family and friends mourn their loss. Lately, he likes to stick around to watch their reaction. Some scream. Others silently cry.

God likes the ones who put on a show for others the most. He did so all his life. Pretending in public that he’s a normal guy.

The truth is, he feels hollow because he never belonged...

Andy Barber steps out of the courtroom with his head held high. He won another case and can’t help but smirk as his opponent seems to be salty.

“Barber,” the prosecutor says, venom in his voice. “Congratulations on letting another monster go free.”

“If you wanted them in jail,” Andy says, and he dips his head to watch his client smirk at the victims of his cruelty, “you should’ve been a better lawyer.”

Andy walks toward his client, a spring in his step to shake the monster’s hand. He smirks and assures the man he deserves to walk out of the courtroom as a free man. Andy squeezes the man’s hand hard, making him wince. Who would’ve thought a lawyer could be so strong?

The serial rapist ends up dead after the accused was acquitted for lack of evidence. Lloyd recites the newspaper. “I see you’ve been very active lately, Barber. Do I need to remind you to keep it low?”

“No one asked you,” Andy shoots back. He doesn’t know why he’s still coming to the so-called self-help group. Andy doesn’t feel guilty for killing his clients. Who else would punish them for their crimes? “They had a choice, Hansen. It wasn’t me letting him go.”

“He’s not wrong,” Ransom says between munching a cookie and sipping on the expensive mochaccino he bought on his way to the group. “Baber got a point there.”

“Who asked you, amateur?” Robert sneers. He just can’t stand Barber or Drysdale. They are not worth his time, or so he thinks. He’s fine with Hansen and the guy calling himself God. They are like him—professionals. “I don’t even know why you, Mr. Lawyer, are here.”

“I invited them,” Hansen grunts. “If you want to leave, you can go anytime. I founded this group, not you.”

“Man, stop making a fuss!” Pronge shows his palms. “I only wanted to point out that they are not professionals. What if the cops find out about their hobby? What if they decide to get a deal and rat us out?”

Lloyd snorts. He looks at the black leather glove hiding his prosthetic fingers. “No one rats Lloyd Hansen out. We all agreed on complete secrecy. What we discuss here stays within this room.”

Andy rubs his bearded chin. Coming to the group to talk about the crimes he committed helped him improve. Lloyd and God even gave him advice on how to make his crimes look like accidents. “I’m going to therapy now,” he admits. “Not to talk about my hobby, though.”

“Therapy, huh?” Lloyd taunts, while Ransom smirks. God and Robert busy themselves with checking their phones for new clients. “I hope you’re not talking about our little group with the doctor.”

Steve sneers. “Don’t call these incompetent wannabes doctors. They are by all means nothing but pathetic losers trying to tell you how to live your life.”

“No one asked you, Dr. Frankenstein,” Ransom snaps at Steve. “Did you work on some nice asses and tits lately?”

“Shut up,” Steve jumps up, knocking his chair over. “At least I got a job, and I don’t live off my family’s money.”

“Shut up yourself!” Ransom puts his cookies aside and throws the rest of his mochaccino at Steve.

“Gentlemen!” Lloyd yells at Steve and Ransom. “We come here to talk about our problems and help each other improve. I didn’t come here, freezing my ass off on the way to watch you fight like girls over the latest fashion trend.”

“The therapy helps me more than coming here,” Andy raises his voice. “Your advice was good, but I think I’ll stick to her.”

The men stop fighting and stare at Andy.

“Her?” Lloyd licks his lips. “You’ve got a pretty little doctor for your therapist? Why didn’t you tell us before? We would’ve been all ears.”

“Why does this make a difference?” Andy cocks a brow. “She’s got a good reputation and listens to me. I talked to her for months, and she never pressured me into talking about my family.”

“Boohoo, your wife killed your murderous son and is as dead as your latest victim,” Lloyd mocks Andy. “Let’s talk about that pretty ass you’re seeing. Show us her reputation and shit.”

“Why?” Andy sighs deeply. He knew it was a mistake to talk about you and your sessions.

“For science,” Lloyd grins and snatches the phone out of Andy’s hand. Before Andy can protest, Lloyd throws the phone at God, nodding at him. “Unlock it, and look for the doc.”

Steve rolls his eyes. He didn’t come here to talk about some therapist. “Can we go back to business? Barber has a therapist. Maybe he even bangs her. Who cares?”

“Bangs her?” That picked Lloyd’s interest. “Not the worst idea. Maybe as a new version of therapy. Fuck all the bad memories out of her sweet cunt.”

“Got it,” God says and throws the phone at Lloyd. Y/N Y/L/N,” he recites your address and contact information. “She looks cute.”

“Cute?” Ransom laughs. “I didn’t know the word cute in your vocabulary. Show me.” Ransom walks toward Lloyd to look at the phone in his hands. “Not bad. Hey Barber, does she have a cute ass too?”

“Why are we talking about some woman? If our meeting is over, I’ll go back to business,” Steve says as he gets up. He wants to walk past Lloyd but glances at the phone. “Hmm…I’ve seen her before.”

Steve snatches the phone out of Lloyd’s hands. He looks at the pictures of you, licking his lips.

“Stop stalking my therapist,” Andy angrily says. “Can I get my phone back now?”

“I remember now,” Steve exclaims while staring at your pictures. “She accompanied one of her patients. They wanted surgery, but she talked them out of it. I hated her.” He shrugs.

“I bet she’s an uptight little doctor,” Lloyd muses. His smirk darkens as he looks at the men he brought together around two years ago. “Barber, did you already have a taste? I bet she tastes like strawberries.”

“Hansen, that is enough,” Andy grumbles. He snatches the phone out of Lloyd’s hands and turns to leave. “This was a waste of time!”

“Not to me.” Lloyd clenches and unclenches his fists. “I think I found something that will help us improve as a group. You all came here to talk about your problems and to get better at what you’re doing. I think this sweet doctor will be a big help.

Tags in reblog.

[nordickies]

Eeeeee! I'm so glad you're back. I always end up down loading your drawings just so I can save them and be happy!

Also, please tell us more/draw poor sick kalmar union Noway if you'd like? No pressure, ofc, I just love historical hetalia stuff. <3

Heyy! Please, go ahead, I'm glad to hear my art makes you happy. And sure, I can share some ideas I have about Norway during that time! But I didn't know what to draw for this prompt, will you forgive me?

A little history lesson is probably in place. Norway was a mighty kingdom during the Middle Ages; having overseas territories and the mainland extending all the way to the Kola Peninsula and parts of modern-day Sweden. But by the 14th century, the Scandinavian royal families were extremely intermingled. After the Fairhair dynasty's male lineage died out in 1319, the throne of Norway passed to Magnus VII, who in the same year became elected as king of Sweden as well, merging the two kingdoms into a personal union briefly - until Magnus' sons inherited their separate kingdoms. Magnus' younger son, Haakon VI, inherited Norway as his realm and ended up marrying the Danish princess Margaret, who'd eventually unite all the Scandinavian kingdoms under one crown and form the Kalmar Union in 1397.

However, earlier in 1349, the Black Death arrived in Norway through trading ports and hit the country devastatingly, killing over 60% of the population. Notably, the plague hit all classes of society, even the nobility and clergy. As a result, many powerful Norwegian noble families died out, straining Norway's position among the European powers. But perhaps more devastatingly to the nobles, farmsteads, if not entire villages, around the kingdom died out as a result of the plague, weakening rent and tax revenue. All of this left the Norwegian monarchy weakened in terms of manpower, noble support, defense, and economic power.

Though Norwegians rebelled a few times against the Danish-favored policies during the Kalmar Union, the Norwegian population and the Council of State were still too weak to secede from it. Sweden left the union in 1521, but the Norwegians couldn't do the same, due to their military inferiority to Denmark at the time. During the reformation battles, King Christian III orchestrated an invasion of Norway in 1537 and incorporated the country as a puppet kingdom under Denmark.

"The diminished Norwegian nobility was not able to protect the political rights of Norway in the Kalmar Union and the military power was lost to Denmark who used mercenaries from Germany; the Norwegian merchant class lost their power of the Norwegian economy to the German merchants of the Hanseatic League who established themselves in Bergen; and the dead Norwegian officials were replaced by German and Danish officials appointed to administer Norway for Denmark; all of which has been described as the decline of Norway under the Danish dominance of the Kalmar Union." [x]

And on that note...

I think all of this historical context about the country could be reflected in Sigurd's (Norway) character. His horrible health condition could explain his role shifting in the family, which left him in Magnus' (Denmark) and Björn's (Sweden) shadow for centuries to come.

Due to his poor health, Sigurd could not attend meetings, which led to decisions being made without his presence. Also due to his health, many of his former roles and responsibilities were given to other people, cutting his purpose in the union. He also couldn't work a job to sustain himself, so he had to rely on other people to keep him afloat, which only worsened his situation and made him financially dependent on others. All of a sudden his attendance or opinion didn't matter because his opinion could be outvoted by others in (and out) of the union. He was probably also unaware of agreements and plans that were not formally discussed, giving him reason to believe he was lied to or purposely kept in the dark about things that also concerned him.

While Magnus had found his place among other Nations, maintaining relations and seemingly enjoying his position, Sigurd couldn't do the same. Being bedridden and weak made maintaining friendships beyond the household practically impossible. Crashing down from his peak, and not being able to meet the expectations he once was meeting, would certainly affect Sigurd's mindset and self-image negatively. He was embarrassed and hid, sheltering himself basically. While Sigurd and Björn had grievances certainly even back then, I feel like they could still relate to one another, if not through their circumstances then through perspectives, which made them extremely close. They both had a harder time adapting to change, at least when compared to Magnus.

[lafaiette]

Your Lavellan breaks through the fog of Solas’s expectations and suppositions of behavior, limits, and nature that he has held and observed as a millennia-old being. Lavellan is a mortal, a fragile, flawed mortal with death looming and immense social and political and military power and yet she does not allow it to corrupt her. She holds steadfast to duty, to what is right, what is ethical. She is open minded in defiance to everything the world has taught her of spirits being scary and unknown.

@yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy THIS, EXACTLY. This is who Lavellan was for Solas in Inquisition. Not all Lavellans are the same, of course - some are ruder, harsher, more cynical than others, but all of them must have an open mind about spirits, want to save people, and not be tyrants to start a romance with Solas. I don't remember if an Inquisitor can ever say they enjoy having been thrust into this whole mess, like "Hey, interrupting Corypheus' ritual was worth it, look how powerful I am now! >:D "

I believe most Lavellan would feel very disconcerted at the sudden position they are in, even if they were not happy in their clan. They can grow to love the Inquisition and their new leadership role, but it's not something they asked for, that they fought for - it happened because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And this is the first difference with Mythal. Morrigan says that Mythal loved ruling, that she asked Elgar'nan to share power, but wanted to do so in a kind way, like a mother guiding her people. However, she was also prickly, because she hated being wrong, being corrected, wanted to be respected as a god, but not in a servile way, wanted to right wrongs, but only if they were just and interested her according to her ideas. Like all spirits, Morrigan says, her emotions were incredibly strong and volatile.

How, then, can Lavellan remind Solas of her? To continue her romance with him, Lavellan must actually face and accept the idea that the Dalish remember many things wrong. One of the first things she can say to him in Haven is "I am sorry - if the Dalish did you a disservice, I will repair that. How can we do better?" - and in being humble, Lavellan makes Solas humble. He falters, accepts her apology and apologies in return, and admits he was wrong, because the Dalish could never recover what is lost. By showing him humility, Lavellan allows him - a spirit made flesh - to reflect that humbleness and embody it. Mythal never did this, she actually turned his very nature, his wisdom, into pride.

When Solas tells Lavellan about the vallaslin, there are several possible reactions. She can be sad and ashamed ("We try to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep?"), angry because she is hurt, react in shock - but she always accepts the truth. She doesn't get angry at Solas because he corrected her ("They honor the elven gods." "No. They are slave markings."), which is what Mythal would have done; she can get angry because of shame, yes, but at the end she knows what he's saying it's true and she accepts the truth, the wisdom, he gives her. And she can choose what to do with it: renounce the vallaslin's terrible history or embrace the new meaning the Dalish gave them.

Lavellan can make decisions that are wrong, according to Solas, like not exile the Wardens or not use Gaspard as a puppet for Briala and her elves. But they talk about it, they can have a par-on-par discussion about it, something it's clear he never could do with Mythal. In all the regret cutscenes we see, he always accepts to do what she asks of him, never once arguing with her. Yes, he starts his rebellion also against her, because she betrayed him and his ideals of freedom, but it's clear he still feels reverence for her and even asks to meet her in secret to warn her about the Blight they created.

Mythal liked ruling and didn't give up power, even when the Evanuris started going too far. Lavellan gives up her power, in one way or another: she can either completely disband the Inquisition or give it to the Chantry. She doesn't keep the power for herself or start a coup to undermine Ferelden and Orlais' demands. She has lost her arm, discovered world-shattering information, and is surrounded by bloodhounds: so she gives up her position and influence, something not even Mythal, in all her "wisdom and kindness", ever did. Something no ruler, Solas once warned her, would logically do. But she does!

Never, not even once, I considered Lavellan to be a foil to Mythal while playing Inquisition. In that game, Mythal is actually described as a foil to Andraste, to Flemeth, to all the women of Thedas betrayed and cast aside. Flemeth announces there will be a reckoning, and Mythal allows Solas to take her power from her without question, because she wants to be avenged. She has been crawling through the ages for this very purpose.

But in Veilguard, the last regret mural shows her suddenly changing her mind and questioning him, with Solas making just the vaguest comment about the elves deserving to get their immortality back, the faintest of threads tying it back to Trespasser. Why then allow him to take her power, if that's not what she wanted to do anymore?

And how can the fragment of Mythal from the Crossroads, that very fragment Morrigan warns being still tied to vengeance and rage, be the one who manages to change his mind? Why should that part of Mythal, still hungry for retribution, tell him to stop and free him from his service?

So basically one of Solas' murals

is the Crestwood scene, but with reversed roles. Solas is the rejected one, Mythal is the one who walks away, leaving him alone in what I presume was a glade at night, judging from the environmental sounds and hushed tones we can hear.

And, to be honest, I don't know how I feel about it - it feels like it cheapens the Crestwood scene, repeating an abusive pattern, stripping away the romance and softness of that scene. It's, once again, something Solas already went through with Mythal, not something he shares with Lavellan only. It's Weekes saying yet again that Solas saw Mythal in Lavellan, and that's why he fell in love with her. Not because she was Lavellan, but because she reminded him of Mythal and gave him hope that all elves could return to that "level" of wisdom.

What we learn in this game also ruins the kiss scene on the balcony, where Solas say "You have showed wisdom I have not seen since... since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade."

Most of us believed he meant "Wisdom I have not seen since my ancient days in Elvhenan", but it's basically confirmed at this point that he meant "Wisdom I have not seen since Mythal".

A month ago, someone here mentioned how Weekes had said there was a specific reason why Solas had falled for Lavellan. I never found the interview where they said so, but I saw many believed it had something to do with reincarnation, lost soulmates finding each other again etc., but once again, it's clear what Weekes meant, and it's bad, cheap writing.

They could have written a god finally learning the error of his ways thanks to his love for a mortal - a love completely different from that of who was basically an abuser, a parent-like figure forcing him to take form and serve -, but instead they went for the easy route: a god still loving another god, feeling love for a mortal who reminds him of her, and changing his mind only because his god finally gives him permission to be free.

The mortal who supposedly "changes everything" serves no purpose - she actually tells him "There is no fate but the love we share" after he's been "freed" from his service, which in this context, in this situation, sounds more like a punishment, another yoke, some sort of "I finally got you, you can't run from me anymore".

I don't know what happened to Weekes' writing - either they were forced to make these decisions due to various constraints, or they completely changed their style/ideas during development, because this is not the Solas, this is not the Solavellan romance, we got in DA:I.

[rosepetalkitty]

ngl hdg kinda amazes me in its ability to cater to my kinks pretty much perfectly while simultaneously triggering several of the worst parts of my trauma.

like how is it that it hits on everything i like on the surface, provides semi-decent worldbuilding to back it all up and enable the creation of stories, and even has consistent backstory and stuff, and yet the entire damn thing instills this looming sense of dread and fear that i can't shake enough to properly enjoy it...

below the break im gonna talk in like. moderate detail. about the parts that scare me. so uh yeah be aware that it'll get heavy that's just how it is.

ok, so the worst thing for me. wellness checks. the idea is cute and kinda hot on the surface. "make sure you're okay and if you're not you're getting domesticated" (which is supposed to be like. a happy thing. "now you get to just chill and be happy and get taken care of forever and in return you give me only your submission"). yeah, fuck it, im into that. hell that's not even an uncommon trope in the realm of cnc/mc writing.

except whenever i read an hdg wellness check story (in the sense of those long-ish tumblr posts that people write—i haven't even really considered reading the longer form content on ao3) there's something viscerally... off... about the tone. it stops feeling like kink and starts feeling like a nightmare when things happen to line up just so, and then it clicks, and reminds me that i knew people, real people, who had "wellness checks" happen in real life, except that instead of it being a kink thing that made them happy and was genuinely for their wellbeing, it was that their parents had hired people to kidnap them and drag them to a psych ward when they just needed a therapist. not all of those people that i knew have come home, as far as im aware. some have been gone for years.

and what about the whole idea of the non-consensual part being okay because "it's for your own good". in hdg-land it is. it's genuinely good for you and everyone seems to be happy with it, other than the occasional "bad guy who hates good things" trope (feralists, in hdg, afaik). but that's exactly what they told me when they cut contact between my boyfriend and i while he was in the hospital. "it's for your own good." guess what, it wasn't. his parents didn't like our relationship. they wanted me to forget him. they either didn't understand or didn't care that i couldn't. it was a year and a half before he came home and i had forgotten nothing.

our loss of communication was the tipping point in a series of events that, had i made one decision differently in the end, would have killed me. thankfully i fucked it up and am here today, no longer in that bad of a place may i add. im choosing not to share any of what happened to me directly right now because i don't want to turn this into a full on trauma dump, but suffice it to say there are recurring themes.

it's so interesting to me because in a lot of ways i have found comfort from those experiences in kink and writing. take flames of averon: mech pilots are neurochemically bonded to their handlers. how different is this from what the affini do to their florets? well, you have to sign up to be a pilot, and there's no authority in the world threatening you if you choose not to. even the coalition military wouldn't dare force you to become a pilot against your will, though they might never stop sending you promotional flyers if they find out you're able to tolerate the cyberware /lh

hell, im into cnc. im really into it. i chose to leave it as an opening between pilots and handlers in foa. the implication exists that if a handler tells their pilot to do something the poor thing will have a hell of a time saying no. that's intentional. it's hot to me, on either end. but the safety comes from other things.

yes, your handler has a lot of influence over you at a level that's hard to imagine, but you chose them and they chose you (most of the time), or at the very least neither of you had any complaints to raise with your supervisor when the paperwork came in for syncing your link chips (holly and astrid from seat of consciousness).

yes it's true, you can't be reassigned now that you're bonded, but that doesn't mean you have zero recourse if your handler is treating you badly. if you need to, you can always file paperwork with your commanding officer to request that something be done.

plus, handlers go through a lot of training, which includes screening to filter out people who would actually harm their pilots. yeah, some handlers are a little sadistic, but when it comes down to it they are on your side. if that wasn't the case they would never have passed pre-basic.

put another way, as a pilot in flames of averon, the closest thing ive ever written to a floret, there are a multitude of points at which you could have said no and didn't, and although that's obviously still noncon in the grand scheme of things, it's "signing away your freedom" cnc compared to the hdg flavor of "you 'consented' via it being the best thing for you whether you like it or not."

even if your handler just told you to "stay" for the first time and you're currently panicking and trying to figure out why your legs won't move, you still have some tiny amount of agency—an escape hatch, so to speak—and you'll just never end up having to use it.

and to me, the loss of that minute level of agency which will never be invoked is the difference between "this is hot as hell and feels perfectly safe" and "this is the abuse that was once leveraged against those i cared about, and to some degree myself, and it's simply been repackaged with a kink sticker slapped on."

none of this is to say i hate hdg, it's fans, those who write about it, or even the parts of it which scare me. i do think the idea is hot. hdg is pretty cool. hell, it was one of my inspirations in writing a lot of the pilot/handler dynamics in flames of averon. but it does scare me. and no matter what i tell myself i can't shake that fear.

it's frustrating, because oftentimes fear can be part of what makes something hot, but the particular flavor of fear which hdg instills in me is one which makes bitter all that it reaches. maybe someday i'll grow out of it. the traumatic memories from which that fear stems were only created in the past couple of years, to be fair. but something tells me a piece of that fear will never be fully dislodged from my mind.

so, all this to say, while i am into hdg, it's a complicated relationship.

(and on a sillier in character note to lighten the mood—please feel free to respond to this with roleplay or whatever you like!)

to any Affini out there who might be reading this, know that im not scared of you. im not scared of what you represent. im only scared by the fact that you mimic that which has left the scars you see on my soul today. im not against being taken in as a floret, and none of this is to say that i hold any level of disdain for you.

i only ask that you be gentle with me. what has been broken once can be broken again. please, do not let it come to that.

[justanerddummie]

You know what, after all the talk about Caitlyn tyrant arc I cannot unsee all the parallels between her and Silco.

It always left me a little baffled how Cait was one of the few character who didn't have a clear parallel with another one, yes, there's Grayson, there's Jinx and even Marcus if you will, but at least to me they never quite clicked right. But when you overlap Silco and Cait, the amount of shit they do the same is insane, especially with all the new stuff from s2.

It's not about her simply becoming a villain, it's like a circle with Caitlyn moving forward to reach the point of no return and Silco going backward after reaching the point of no return, meeting just for a moment - at the mad tea party - having different directions.

But let's start from the beginning.

We have a bunch of scenes where we see Silco tell Jinx about how he used to be different, how he had to cut out the part of him that made him soft in order to become the leader of the undercity and at the same time we get to see Caitlyn's entitled ass dissolve as her heart of gold starts making appearances, like when she refused to kill Sevika or when she gave her rifle away for Vi without batting an eye as she starts trusting Vi more and more considering how she just exchanged her only weapon for shimmer to cure Vi. Then in the other episodes they both come clean about the real reasons they are in the undercity and they start really trusting each other, two peas in a pod, just like Vander and Silco back in the day.

But then in oil and water during the rain scene when Vi leaves Cait, I think we can see the first the first seed of betrayal being planted, it's the you don't believe in me anymore, which I think can be connected to when we see Vander strangle Silco, I think that scene is supposed to go after the bridge scene in ep3 it's the aftermath of the battle with enforcers and I can totally see Silco refusing to give up on the dream of Zaun and Vander seeing no other option but to kill him in order to protect his people. I know it's a long stretch but as for Vi and Cait the rain scene is the first rift, for Silco and Vander the scene at the river is the last straw, it also ties very well with Silco being handed Zaun on a silver plate in exchange for the last piece of his heart and refusing (Cait is still not there but I think there will be something like this in s2 at the very end) just as Cait is taking the first steps into not trusting Vi.

(I'm trying to talk about how I see Caitlyn's point of view and not trying to blame Vi, I really do think that Vi had every right to make that decisions in that moment)

And then there's the mad tea party, that in no way can even be compared to the scene on the bridge in ep3 but I would still say that I think Caitlyn has processed the tea party in a similar way Silco has processed the bridge scene and what came after, the betrayal of the people they trusted the most as they watched their respective loved ones die one by the hands of the enforcers and the other by the hands of Jinx.

And as Silco's rage grew he wanted another fight with Piltover and Vander stopped him, Vi stopped Cait from taking the shot on Jinx, making that little seed of betrayal bloom and grow a little.

So by the end of s1 we see Cait is almost in Silco's starting point as he has completed his lap of the circle.

And now I dive into the more speculative section of this long-ass rant, where I'd like to put to comparison Silco's deal with Singed with Cait's alliance with Noxus. And for as much as it pains to admit it, I don't think Cait will fall for Ambessa manipulation, she's too smart, I think that she'll sacrife her morality to achieve what she's set herself up to, same way as Silco did with shimmer. The base violence for change.

I really do think that the similarities will get way stronger in s2 with the seeds of betrayal blooming by the end of s1 especially considering how both Silco and Cait's story revolve around taking control and in a certain way becoming the leaders no one asked for.

They both never wanted to be leaders as Silco was more than happy to let Vander be the face of revolution and Cait couldn't give less of a fuck about politics and spent most of the time in s1 trying to not start a war between Piltover and Zaun and wooing Zaunites women.

But at the same time both of them never shied away from the power, they both kept their heads held high in the face of people who hated them, and both were always arrogant enough to believe they could change the world single-handedly.

With that I conclude this long-ass post both wanting s2 to come faster and dreading the moment it finally comes and honestly hoping that Cait's story doesn't end the same way as Silco did. With some form of redemption arrived a little too late.

[twost3ps]

*Au idea:Dreaded king Adam*

The council of heaven(or God) had to promise Adam to Lucifer(kind of like the Persephone story). The harem hates this idea but it’s no use.

Also just imagine their reaction to Adam coming into a meeting with a baby Charlie(she was made by magic by Lucifer to make Adam happy).

That to me can be either sad or funny because it can go one of two ways

An angsty route where the harem only gets to see Adam in the meetings and either romantically or not, miss each other’s company. Even if Adam does come to love Lucifer at some point or does willingly go down and feels content in hell ofc he’s going to miss the people he used to hang out with. Those meetings have a a great underlying vibe of longing that no amount to treasure can mediate

not my thing so there’s also the crack funny route where the harem would def be distraught before they're like :

"You know what imma sneak down there idgaf"

One of them was def crying for a bit before the decision is made (it's Mike and Jophiel)

Idk whether or not you're envisioning that Adam is together with them before the engagement or just likes them platonically tho but assuming he is romantic again I do find it funny if they sneak into lucifers castle with his help and they hang around until lucifer catches on (I mean Adam doesn't have be with them to just wanna hang out with his old buddies. It does get lonely in that castle lol. And what is hell to do againt what is basically a group of unstoppable forces)

They're all hanging out in the master bedroom till lucifer busts in shocked to see them all there

Lucifer: Wh- WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE!?

Gabriel: Catching up with our boyfriend, duh. What do you want?

Lucifer: for you all to leave???

Uriel: mmnnnn.... naaaah..

Raphael: yeah we really miss our boyfriend so if you don't wanna be here could you just...? *he kinda just shoos lucifer*

Lucifer looks all pissed off: If you don't remember, IM the one who lives here and IM the one married to him.

Hes showing off his ring but there's a united scoff from the harem

Azrael: no offense but since when did you respect the sanctity of marriage?

This leads to this large fight, tho since lucys outnumbered, so he's not winning here. Thankfully, adam is there to calm them down. Adam argues that while yes hes married to lucifer, it wasnt fair to be pulled away from the people he cares about so no, hes still going to see his harem (whether romantic or not is up to you. He can just like being around them as friends while still loving lucifer or at least growing to love him)

So lucifer gets at least one archangel or virtue visiting every day. This oddly gets the siblings closer to lucifer again. They sometimes hang out with Lucifer as well or just him for old times sake

They could even have their own rooms there too. It would be kinda nice to see and bond with his family again. Maybe Lucifer opens the marriage idk tho

When they see Charlie for the first time, they're shocked and a bit jealous. Gabe def wanted kids with Adam lol. They're actually pretty good with her all things concerned, but they do dress her up and act like she's their own. Since she's made of magic and young, I do think they have some moderate influence on her appearance. Like she's still forming in a way. So when they first get their hands on her, they change the color of her cheek marks to their responding colors. It's like that scene in sleeping beauty with the faries and the dress, but imagine the rainbow instead and whats changing is charlies cheeks and hair color. Adam does get huffy about it tho and they all reluctantly turn her back to red cheeked and blonde

Ngl in the early stages they were trying to be another parent to her as a sort of get back at Lucifer for 'stealing' Adam, trying to get her favor whenever they visit or have meetings. But they chill out over time. Doesn't mean they don't get a bit smug is charlie seems to prefer going to them for some things.

The only really dreaded thing is, for the harem at that point, is not being always able to barge in

This was probably supposed to be more angst or something my bad lol

[sonicjustbecause]

Shadow generation. Impression (from the videos).

Only about the story.

Actually I didn't play the game, I just watched the cutscenes. Maybe I will buy the game someday.

First - the non spoiler thing:

Shadow's story has few aim: being fun and having a compelling character to control. Nothing complicated. So, although nothing special, it is pleasant, simple and relaxing. Also for once Shadow is not tied on certain Sonic rules that don't allow for more than few actions. Is a character that can open several scenarios. Speed and agility might be the mandatory characteristics but he can potentially do many things Sonic can't.

Shadow himself is better than what he used to be the last decade. Is not perfect (but I'm a fan of Maekawa's Shadow as I stated more than once in previous posts), but finally is relatable again. Seeing emphasis on the Doom Powers in the preview, I excepted him being a super edgelord, even worse than the one in IDW comics and without flaws, instead we see him being vulnerable, suffering the side effects of not taking care of his well being and a interesting side about his personality that can teach one thing or two to Sonic.

The spoiler (characters):

Maria, how much we waited to know her.

We hear about her since 2001, we saw pictures of her over and over but we never knew who she was. She was this gostly, mysterious figure in Sonic adventure 2 (I was wondering: "How comes this innocent looking good girl wish for total destruction? Something is not right!"). For long people assumed she was pretty much a strong person, but we never knew for sure.

She is a young teenager. The way she thinks shows that she's not exactly a child. But she's still extremely spontaneous because she has no real life friends around telling her she must act like an adult. So she still jump when excited and has lots of childish characteristics normally at her age and maturity she would have outgrow.

Her only two friends on ARK are one literal child, and an alien/hedgehog with no social skills. They would not pressure her into acting proper because they know nothing.

Idealized? Maybe. But we are seeing the story through Shadow's eyes. That's the point.

Also, finally she doesn't look anymore like a vintage italian doll. First time I saw her I wondered who was the one who though at that, uh, not so great design.

Gerard

Hints from Sonic Adventure 2 suggested that Gerard and Shadow are very similar. But Gerard has on his side the wisdom that comes from age. Also, unlike Shadow, his way longer life experience has been varied, with both good and bad moments, shaping a more mature and less emotional personality.

We never knew what was the relationship between Shadow and Gerard. For now we learned the bads, Gerard getting mad and turning Shadow into a weapon, condemning him to a miserable life.

But, both the Maria and Gerard we see in SxS gen are from before the raid, so we see the fatherly side of Gerard. Surely when he created Shadow, he didn't consider him a living being. But then he learned to love him. He's rightfully his son after all, even if an artificial being.

I'm glad Gerard and Maria aren't Black Doom illusions who serve him but they're the real ones, and they truly help Shadow though this adventure. Clearly they understand what is going on, and even that in the future they will not be on Shadow's side. So they decided to help him as much as they can to make him taking the right decision.

Shadow

Now, I think I have a lot to say about Shadow, he is both the protagonist and the main character.

He showed us sides of his personality that were either hidden and/or forgotten for a long time. Knowing his story he gave me the impression he was just forced to grow against his will.

Maekawa's Shadow used to be balanced, surely stubborn/laser focused, very quiet but also mischievous, good hearted and capable to take care of his well being. But after Sonic 06 his personality was changed into a cold, selfish mean edgelord without remeding qualities, that was on the good side just because of his whims. That was what made him into a joke among fans and a hero only among (few) kids aged 15 and below.

But now we seems we are starting from the basis. Peraphs Shadow will one day be similar to what he used to be. His personality will not change overnight, that would be jarring, it will be gradual. I hope he will act more rationally and balanced from now and in the future.

The side effect of his lack of self care.

They started from his superhuman laser focus and his stubborness, traits that were especially underlined after Sonic 06:

What if this slowly takes a tool on his mind? From dark beginnings, we see that Shadow is at his limits. His focus start to fade, he gets distracted easily by both his own tiredness and outside distractions. Dangerously on breaking point since he can get on the verge of panic attacks. And he is very harsh toward himself. Not just 'focus' but also 'what are you doing? Stop daydreaming'. Seems the hard hearted father toward his son. The only reason he doesn't get slapped for not being a good boy is because he can't slap himself.

Family.

Though he is nowadays known to be a loner... I wasn't and I am not so sure about this trait. Introverted for sure but I remember him always surrounded by friends (still in smaller groups than Sonic) in Maekawa's stories. Rouge and Omega in Heroes and 06, Knuckles, Amy and Blaze in Black Knight. In Adventure 2 he was alone, but he was a good team worker.

He feels more like lonely. In SxS Gen he was so happy to have found his family again and so hopeful to have a second chance that he seemed quite in good mood with everybody. Rouge, Gerard and Maria were very kind toward him, but they also did want him being real, to prepare him to the outcome. A real family (Maria and Gerard) and a real friend (Rouge).

Now, that's might be my interpretation, but Shadow seemed to wanting to show his progresses to his family, maybe to hear their approvations. And he searched their advices, listening carefully, being a good boy for people that are way kinder toward him than himself.

And now the thing Sonic needs to learn from Shadow (perhaps also Shadow from himself). Shadow is capable to be open and sincere toward his family more than how Sonic is toward those that consider his family (Tails). Maybe Shadow is afraid to open up toward Rouge because of this, SxS Gen, Sonic Adventures, Heroes, 06 and Sonic Battle showed that contrary to popular beliefs, Shadow is quite bad at hiding his emotions. He might not cry but is behaviour pattern changes noticeably. And he doesn't seems that annoyed when Rouge lend him her voice when he is unable to speak.

Normal and upset.

Mmmh is OK, I was just a bit tired, you know, running around...

Shadow is surprising again.

Well when you see a face like this:

What do you think the outcome would be?

The first surprise was discovering he was way more chill than what his face suggest. It is always a welcome feeling when a character surprises you in one or more ways. I'm always on the edge when I see Shadow approaching somebody or being approached in the game. And then, he just acts normally.

Though this is logical and excepted, no, this is not Shadow.

Compassion was the thing that saved him originally. And then this trait was removed. Now he is compassionate again.

David Humphrey on what he was told about Shadow when he worked to SA2. You can see the interview with him and Scott Dreier on YT.

It should be underlined that Shadow doesn't know yet who the girl is.

Better to avoid to compare with IDW or Sonic Team Racing, when he doesn't save Rouge and Tails and when he even steal popcorn from a chao.

Doom Powers

They are helpful in game, but what I focus on is how Shadow is always in pain, maybe even afraid everytime he gets a new power. The 'NO!' plead was in Italian too. Another thing is the colour distortion when he gets seemily possessed by Black Doom.

In another videogame I used to play (Saints Row 3 and 4) the same colour distortion was there when the character was high.

So I associate that efect with altered consciousness.

Shadow's body language and expressions...

I did noticed he was very expressive in the trailer. But so he was the whole game. He communicates/emotes through both his face and his body. With the player and with the NPCs around. If his personality keeps improving and he will be back to the Shadow we all loved, and maybe they will keep that friendly attitude toward the player, baybe making a Shadow games not every year, but occasinally when they have a good story, he will be super fun to play.

[lovely-p-issues]

Okay, you've made me realise that I misspoke in my previous response (and I used italics incorrectly lmao)

I'll start with the most important one - yes, I do think that until the very end Ody saw Eurylochus as his friend (as you wrote, he literally appears as a ghost alongside his mum and Polites)

However. I think this relationship was incredibly damaged by everything that happened, and these most important relationships have a way of being strengthened by tragedies. That's why, despite all my love for this character, after everything he and Ody did to each other, I could never vote for him

But I just need to address your really good points and how I look at it

sacrificing the crew

Yes, my mistake, abandoning the crew on the island of Kirke could be called reasonable - I meant rather to point out that sacrificing six men was also essentially the best tactic for survival, in a situation where you are in the middle of nowhere, chased by a god of sea and have to sail somewhere (but surely there is something much darker about deliberately choosing the death of six men than refusing to save them, even if it was ultimately to reduce the bloodshed associated with pointless battle)

(just to be clear, none of these decisions lie with my general view on the world, they are simply comparable in my eyes)

My point was rather that, of all people, Eurylochus could understand Odysseus - he himself was prepared to do something very similar, yet he completely ignored it and started a mutiny (I wonder now if the crew ever found out that Eurylochus had refused to save them…)

Nor does Eurylochus ever deny this plea by Odysseus in Mutiny:

Don't make me fight you, brother, you know you'd have done the same If you want all the power, you must carry all the blame

I interpret this as Eurylochus saying "that's true, but at the end of the day it was you who made that decision, so we can blame you for this"

while we're on Mutiny….

I just remembered how annoyed I was that the moment the crew, headed by Eurylochus, realised how badly they had screwed up, they immediately turn to Odysseus. Odysseus, whom they had just removed from power, thinking they knew better.

In a normal situation, I wouldn't put up with telling a person close to me very clearly ‘don't do that, there will be consequences’, but when it actually happens, they look at me, expecting me to somehow solve the problem

Eurylochus's advice

Did Odysseus need a man who could pull him down to earth? Absolutely.

The problem is that Eurylochus does it in public, in front of the entire crew, not only trying to talk sense into Odysseus, but sowing doubt among the crew.

When Ody pulls him aside at the end of Luck Runs Out this is practically the first thing he points out to him. A captain making a mistake is a terrible thing, but a crew left to their own devices…. well, Mutiny showed that, despite his flaws, Odysseus made better decisions most of the time (motivated by a desire to get home) than they did, focused more on the present moment, hunger and fatigue.

But even putting tactics aside - I think the friends know best that a public confrontation is not the best idea. While we obviously don't know how Odysseus would have reacted to a private conversation with Eurylochus - it seems to me personally that at least he could have focused on what was being said to him, rather than making sure his men don't fall apart.

I will end here, because we can point those thing for eternity and I didn't even started rating about Odysseus's mistakes as a friend-

I just don't think Eury was a really good friend in general. He was a decent man, he was trying his best, he was obviously tired and broken, but looking from perspetive of the first question, he just... doesn't stand a chance

And I still love him tho.

(i will probably get through every character in survey when it's finished lmao)

(i regret setting seven days instead of one for this)

[evilvillainapologist]

Dec 16: Cat disemboweling a present

Notary yesterday looking at my birth certificate: "Wait, you were the very first birth in your village?"

I was. I was a home birth, back when home births weren't a thing yet. There is not hospital in our village. I was number 1.