#being spun around is good for the soul actually

[jyoongim]

Heyyy, it’s me again, the singer anon. Can I request an Alastor x Reader where she is sent by as a spy by Vox after our fav slithery boy failed? She’s really bubbly and friendly, but she eventually grows to care for everyone in the hotel but Vox owns her soul. She torn in between getting herself killed by him and not betraying anyone anymore, or continuing the job. She goes and confesses to Alastor, breaking down and thinking he’ll kill her, which she thinks would be best so she doesn’t have to betray anyone anymore. Just breaking down in tears telling him she doesn’t want to hurt anyone but Vox has her under a contract, begging him to kill her so she doesn’t have to. Just for Alastor to call her a good girl and ughhhh some possessive smut if you don’t mind? Sorry brain rots in my head and I’m in love with him, lol. Thank you! <3 also the three requests story set off the trigger in my head, loved it! Thanks again! <3!

This been in my inbox for weeks and i finally got a plot for it!

⚠️warning: 18+! Smut smut smut! Plot if you look hard enough!

��————————————————————————————

No one suspected a thing.

You were sent to the Hazbin Hotel after Sir Pentious miserable attempt.

Your orders were simple: ”Keep an eye out on that old fossil. I want to know why that fucker is sucking up the Lucifer’s daughter”

And you did just that…you were executing your mission flawlessly.

Until you began to care about those who stayed at the hotel.

Until you began to grow closer to the Radio Demon.

————————————————————————————

You had been staying at the hotel for a few months now and its been great!

Charlie was always finding new ways to help the residents build bonds and encouraging everyone to do their best.

At first, you were arrogant, playing along until you actually saw the the demons there were actually changing even if they didn’t admit it

But now, you thought of the princess as a friend, along with everyone else.

Especially Alastor.

Now that you’ve been around him, you’re not sure why Vox hate the demon so much.

Alastor was funny, kind (in his own twisted way), and truly looked after the hotel.

A soft smile curled on your lips as you thought about the demon, but the ringing of your phone interrupted such thoughts.

Vox.

You took a deep breath and answered “H-Hello?”

”Tonight’s your chance to take out that prick and after that come home” he demanded.

You blinked “what? B-but Vox…” you bit your lips “But it’s actually nice here. The hotel isn’t a scam…a-and everyone is a lot nicer than we thought ” Vox laughed “Oh baby please! Nice? You actually believe in that redemption crap? You think that they’ll let you stay if they knew why you truly were there? Hahaha! Oh my dumb little girl, how naive you are. ” 

You pouted, a frown on your face “I want to stay”

Vox growled through the phone “ah ah baby you don’t make demands remember?” 

Electrical shocks ran through your body from the collar you wore.

You gasped in pain “I OWN you. Did you forget that? You do whatever I say when I say it. Now I expect you home before morning or I will kill you.”

The phone call ended and you were in tears.

You didn’t want to go back. 

You liked being at the hotel and able to be yourself. 

You liked the friends you had made here.

You would do anything for them, even if you had to die to make your wrongs right.

————————————————————————

“Come in” the voice answered after you knocked on the door. You were sweating as you stood outside of Alastor’s door.

You had decided that if you were going to tell anyone why you were at the hotel, it would be Alastor.

You opened the door and walked into his radio studio.

”Hey Al” you said weakly as the demon spun around and smiled at you “Hello darlin! What do I owe the pleasure?”

You fiddled with your hands.

”I want to tell you why I came to the hotel”

Alastor quirked a eyebrow, smile widening as he gestured for you to take a seat on the couch.

”Do entertain me of your tale my dear”

You were in tears by the time you finished telling Alastor everything.

Of Vox and his plan.

The deal between you and Vox.

The reason you came to the hotel.

Everything.

”I-I’m sorry! So so sorry! I-I just didn’t know what to do!

Kill me! I deserve it! J-Just let me say my goodbyes first. I would rather you kill me than Vox! Please!” You cried, hands covering your face as you sobbed.

Alastor had been quiet for the entirety of your confession. He had half a mind to kill you when you told him of your deal with Vox.

The pesky television didn’t know when to mind his business.

His eyes focused on the collar around your neck.

 You were Vox’s and by contract, he wasn’t allowed to kill you.

And he wasn’t. No he had grown accustom to the pretty demon who seemed to light the hotel’s halls.

However…he could override Vox’s ownership of your soul.

You flinched when you felt a large hand pat the top of your head. You looked up through teary eyes ay Alastor, who just sported a soft smile.

”Now now my dear don’t you worry. I appreciate that you came to and confided in me. What a good girl you are.” His smile stretched as you sniffled, looking at him with glossy eyes.

”Y-Youre not g-gonna k-kill me?” You asked looking down.

He chuckled as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, claws finding their way under your chin to make you look at him

He rolled his eyes ”Oooh my dear of course not…” His fingers trailed down your neck, toying with your collar. “But I am in a bit of predicament”

You wiped at your eyes “how so?”

“Under normal circumstances, I would rip you to shreds and broadcast your screams for all of Hell to hear” his pupils turned to dials and his smiled turned wicked. You felt your heart stop a little.

He calmed down slightly “however I have another idea to break your deal with Vox” 

He smiled at you as you tilted your head in confusion.

”I know just the thing hehehe”

————————————————————————————

You whimpered as you tried to hold yourself up against the force of Alastor’s thrusts. “A-Al!” You whined as the demon tugged your hair to pull your body into his. A deep growl vibrated through you as Alastor sunk into your weeping heat, his cock hitting that soft spot inside you.

“Fuuuucckk!” You hissed, eyes rolling into your skull as your body buzzed with pleasure.

Alastor pulled your body til your back was flushed against his chest, his sharp teeth nipped at your skin before latching on and marking you. You winced as his tongue lapped at the blood, he purred as trailed his tongue up your neck.

”To think Vox had such a sweet cunt all to himself. Ooh darlin you’re wasted on him. But you’ll be a good girl for me wont you? You seem to love having a real cock fucking you” he chortled, giving you a harsh thrust. His hips grinded up into your ass, coaxing your cunt to take every inch over and over.

Your gummy walls tightened around him as you whined at his words. You could barely focus on what he was saying, not giving two shits either as he bullied your insides.

”I-I can be a good girl please please oh fuck! Aah! Aah!” You whined. Alastor’s large hands trailed up your body; kneading, pawing, and squeezing at your supple flesh. Pausing at your bouncing tits to tweak your hardened nipples, sending currents to your abandoned clit.

“I know you will baby” 

He nudges his head into yours, to gain your attention and capture your lips with his, swallowing your moans as one of his hands moves down to toy with your puffy clit.

Your body jerked as he rubbed tight circles on the bud; your cunt fluttering as slick dripped down your thighs.

”Ill make a deal with you darlin” he whispered against your lips, lidded eyes staring into yours, as you mewled, wanting his tongue back down your throat. 

“I keep this little mishap under wraps and in return you belong to me. Youre free to do whatever your heart but im no pushover m,a cherie.”

His thrusts sped up as he pinched your clit.

You keened, pushing your hips back into his, trying to follow the motion of his fingers, seeking to reach your orgasm.

”Do we have a deal?” He purred never breaking his pace.

Your collar let out blue sparks, Vox’s way of ‘reinforcing’ his control over you. You whimpered as the shocks edged you, but Alastor let out a deep growl as he wrapped his claws around the collar.

”Do we have a deal?” A snap of his hips pulled a moan from your throat.

”oh! Yes! Yes! F-fuuuc-cckk”

Static ran through your body causing you to jerk as your orgasm washed over you, your collar fizzled out as Alastor’s cock pounded your cunt, riding your orgasm out.

The wet SQUELCH! Of your cunt echoed as high pitched whines left your throat. 

“That’s a good girl. Cummin all over my cock. Feels better than that robot huh? Yeeesss fuck! Take my cum darlin take it”

Your eyes crossed as your mouth opened in a scream. Alastor crashed his lips on yours, tongue pushing through your lips and pulling you into a heated kiss as he pumped you full of his cum.

Alastor let out a sigh as he slipped out of you, cock coated in creamy essence and smiling as he watched your cunt clench around nothing and dripping cum.

In your dazed state, you faintly heard a snap and a cool sensation coated your neck.

Instead of the sapphire jeweled collar, a gold chained ruby hung from your neck.

Alastor hummed as he rubbed your tired body, smiling wickedly as he slotted back into your soppy heat. You moaned softly as he rolled his hips against you.

”now lets send that mediocre podcast a proper video”

[hoe4sports]

How this ends p3

Alexia Putellas x reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

Thank you to @karsonromanoff for giving me inspiration and ideas for this part.

A note from the author: This is the third part of how this ends based off of Lewis Capaldi’s how this ends. Read the part’s chronologically. I have changed the age of them becoming a pair to 13, in order to make the story make more sense. Part four coming soon.

Also, fuck me, this was really shit.

Warnings: A lot of talking.

Summary: It’s been a few months since Alexia broke up with you and you handed over your promise ring to her. You and Frido make plans for the summer.

-

You found yourself sat in Frido’s spare bedroom, but by now; it was practically your bedroom. The thing about Fridolina was that you met her ages ago. Frido had been in the room when Alexia had told you that she had to miss out on an event she had promised to be a plus one to. It made you feel sad, but as the good girlfriend you were; you kept it inside. Fridolina had then suggested that she could tag along, which you happily agreed to. It was your first time being invited to such a big prestigious event so having someone familiar there was a big safety thing for you. The event was an invitation only charity event by the Red Cross. To your luck, Fridolina had actually volunteered for the organisation back in Sweden which lead her to be your first reserve.

The pair of you instantly hit it off, and from that moment; you were inseparable. She was what could’ve been described as a soul sister, the kind of friend that just gets you.

It had now been 2 months since you walked out of your Alexia’s apartment with everything you ever knew packed up in cardboard boxes that was shipped off to a storage unit until you could figure your life out. You hadn’t seen Alexia, not that you had made much of an effort. It felt like an emptiness, that slowly had started to close. The costs of it were clear, you stayed away from her part of the town. More so, you had avoided going to the places she would usually go.

Being the girlfriend of a famous athlete wasn’t for everyone, and you sure felt the statement in your bones. You see, you and Alexia had been together since you were teens. She had promised you a ring, a big white wedding, kids and a real house. Instead you got 10 years worth of waiting, a cat and an apartment not suitable for children. People had made up competitions based off of when Alexia would purpose to you, when you would have kids or what your next pet would be. The plans you had were now placed on the back burner.Life had just spun out in the worst possible scenario, but Frido was on a mission to help you heal.

“Y/N! Are you awake?”

You huffed and covered your head with the fluffy pillow hoping she would go away.

“Ugh, you are taking to long. Hide your titties, I’m coming in!”

You looked over at the door which a second later had Frido barging out of it. You giggled at her silly little manoeuvre. Her face showed off a surprised grin before she walked to the window and pulled the curtain apart to let sunlight in. She then turned around and laid down in the big bed next to you, while you kept looking at her.

“How are we feeling today, Y/N?”

“Like shit”

“Y/n..”

“Okay, fine. I’m feeling a bit less empty. More like, half full than half empty actually.”

“Do I sense a sliver of positivity? Have I just discovered something we thought was extinct?” Frido teased with a fake surprised grin, and you playfully shoved her shoulder while staring up at the ceiling.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m not sure where to begin. What to do about my job, you know? My job is social media, sadly built on being the girlfriend of a famous footballer”

“I have a solution”

Frido looked mischievous, and you could see the trouble a million miles away.

“Oh god, now what?”

“Until I can find a way to become keen on women so I can wife you up, then I’m sure some of the girls on the team would be happy to bag you! How about Jenni? Cata? Ona? Or, I think I even have the phone number of Leah Williamson and Mary Earps!”

Frido fished the phone out of her pocket and demonstrated by going through her contact list loudly. You just rolled your eyes at her again before giggling.

«Oh, Mackenzie Arnold! No, wait, she’s dating that aussie Girl»

«Okay wait, Ada Hegeberg? No, no. She’s straight and old.”

“Maybe this is the one! Lucy Bronze! No, that would be so weird”

“But, what about Alana Kennedy or Claire? You’d get to hang out with the Mathildas and I’m sure mini’s wife would love a extra set of hands”

“Wait, no, girl! Here, Jessie Fleming! She’s hot, and I’m pretty sure she likes all the photos you post!”

Frido was ass deep in her phone which made you smile at her. You loved her silliness. It always seemed to bring some joy into your life. Her suggestions were out of pure love and you could spend forever listening to her.

“Fridolina, I appreciate the effort but unless you are about to turn gay, then I think I’m taking a break from the whole dating a football player thing; didn’t seem to work out for me”

Frido stuck her tongue out playfully at you, before looking down at her phone again.

“How about that rugby player from the Olympics?Ilona Maher! Oh, wait. Straight. But then, what about the rower from Germany?”

You playfully smacked her in the back of her head with a pillow before Frido put her phone down and sighted. Frido dramatically threw her hands in the air while gesturing dramatically.

“You are gonna be alone until you turn 50! That cannot happen! I wanna be your bridesmaid, i wanna be a moster!

“Well, you might have a chance now since I’m not with alexia anymore. She wasn’t planning to purpose anytime soon, and she was for sure not having kids within the next 5 years. She’s gonna die alone with a bunch of cats while refusing to retire”

You looked at Frido; Frido looked at you while holding her head up. There was a silence before a smile appeared on both of your faces. You both broke into a laugh and laid down next to each other again.

“How about we go to breakfast? I’ll treat you”

You smiled. If there was anything you loved, it was to go out for breakfast. You hadn’t gone out for breakfast since you and Alexia were at least 2 years younger. The truth was that you missed it.

“I haven’t gone out for breakfast in forever. Alexia didn’t want to because of the calories”

Frido furrowed her brows in annoyance of Alexia.

“Fuck the calories, Fuck Alexia, I work hard to be able to have them”

You let out a chuckle.

“I think I have had enough of fucking Alexia for a lifetime, babe”

-

You found yourself sat down by the window in this beautiful little cafe. It had an almost magical view of the park with a river slithering through it and a view of the little playground. The sun was beaming outside, and it was peaking out from the lace curtains hanging from the ceiling.

The coffees you ordered arrived, and you took a sip of yours before breaking out in a disappointed grin. The grin on your face caused Frido to giggle, nearly spilling out the contents of her cup. She looked at your cup, and back at hers before pushing her cup towards you. You took a sip and instantly felt satisfied. Your eyes were practically seeing stars. Frido smiled before accepting your cup as hers. The gesture made your heart swell with pride of your bestfriend. Alexia hadn’t done anything like that for you since you were teens.

“You know how they say that women see it coming? I honestly think that I did see it coming, and that’s why I’m doing okay. It’s weird, but she was spilling away for years. She forgot all dates and dinners, and she would tell me that i could just go to be because she was gonna be home late. Like, it feels like the love died before our relationship did.”

“I get that, isn’t it like an intuition thing? I’m pretty sure i saw a tiktok about it from a psychiatrist earlier.”

“Intuition? Interesting. I guess you could say that, I mean, I’m sad of course. Anyone would be. But then again, I’m okay with her decision. I’ve come to terms with it. If she didn’t love me anymore, then it’s better that she ended things.”

“It’s just so odd, Y/N. I don’t understand why she ended things with you. She makes it seem like you weren’t together for over 10 years.”

“That’s actually funny, she never gave me a reason! Perhaps I didn’t do her laundry well enough or maybe my cooking is shit.”

You frowned a bit when things about all the things you probably did wrong. Frido raised an eyebrow before letting out a short laugh.

“What are you even on about, you mad woman! Your cooking is elite. You have better housewife skills than my mom. Gud, if i ever encounter the woman then i might have to end her.”

You laughed softly at Frido until you noticed that the server was coming over with two steaming plates. She sat them down in front of you and you looked up at Frido who were grinning from ear to ear.

“This looks delish! Devine! If I were out on the deathrow, this would be my last meal.” Frido joked while studying her plate.

“Let me take a quick story of you and the food, pretty please?”

Frido raised her brow at you in confusion. The worry in your pit appeared, but was quickly erased by Frido’s reassuring words.

“Babe, you don’t have to ask. I’ve already said that! You support my work by coming to games, even Sweden games. I support your work by appearing on your socials. Alexia really did rearrange your head, is that why she suddenly never appeared on your socials?”

You nodded before raising your shoulders. Your phone was grabbed from the table and Frido did a wink to you when you turned the frame in her direction. You placed down you phone before stabbing the pancake with your fork and dipping it in the Canadian syrup. The meal went on, and you talked about everything from your work to when Frido’s next international match was going to take place.

“The match is set for July 11th, it’s a home game at first before the return in Ireland.”

You nodded eagerly while having strawberries filling your mouth.

“I’m planning to head out a few days earlier. You know, to see Morsan and Pappa. My grandparents have also been missing me.”

You swallowed down the berries before taking a sip of coffee.

“Oh, how are things with Simon now? Is he still busy being needy?”

“Haha, I guess I didn’t tell you! I ended things with him, it just wasn’t working out”

You raised your brow in confusion before putting your fork down.

“But you were so in love just a few months ago go? What happened?”

Frido shrugged her shoulders while leaning backwards to her chair.

“It wasn’t really love, more like a friendly kind of love. I don’t really think I ever felt in love with him, you know. The butterflies kind of love?”

You nodded at her while giving her a sincere smile.

“Hot girl summer it is then!”

Frido laughed at you before smiling widely. The pair of you started eating before Frido’s head suddenly popped up towards you.

“Girl, you should come with me to Sweden! You can meet my family, I can show you my childhood memories and you can join me to Ireland! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

You looked at her, slightly skeptical.

“Are you sure? Not to be a party pooper, but have you asked the team?”

“I’m sure they’ll just be happy to have a social media specialist joining us! Besides, there are some pretty good looking girls on the squad.”

Frido winked before you giggled again. Nobody could make you laugh like Frido.

-

A few weeks later you were sitting in your temporary bedroom at Frido’s while editing some content for your social media. It was an event you did a few months prior with an organisation that has volunteers who cleans the beaches. It was all done as a part of their summer campaign, and the deadline was creeping up on you. The issue was that Alexia had tagged along on the event, and you watched clips of you filing vlog style while other clips were filmed by a crew.

The clips made you feel numb, but this was work and it was already a done deal. You had already signed it, and Alexia had agreed to it earlier. You made a mental note to send Alexia a text about the video coming out before it was live. It was the last content you had of the pair of you together and quite a few of the huge amount of followers you had, had started questioning it. You had always been all about transparency, but this time it was different. This was personal, and it was something that needed time. At the same time, you felt like the fans deserved honesty from you.

You write down in your book to talk to your PR adviser about how to address it in the meeting that was coming up in a few days. But what was also coming up in a few days, was your trip with Frido. The excitement has finally started blossoming when she got the green light from her national team, and the trip could’nt have come at a better time.

“Y/N, hide your titties, I’m coming in!”

You giggled as Frido walked in with her hands over her eyes.

“You are all clear babe, no titties out. Besides when have I ever had my titties out?”

You asked in a sassy tone. Frido peeked through her hands before looking at you innocently while shrugging. She flopped onto your bed right next to you and pulled out her phone. She sat for a moment while you edited before she broke the silence.

“So, Alexia came to practice today”

You could feel your stomach drop to the ground. Your suddenly good mood turned into clouds and thunder.

“Good for her”

“Well, yes. But that’s besides the point. She asked about you.”

You felt yourself becoming protective and hostile when her name was mentioned. How dare she ask about you when she broke up with you? It made your blood boil, and your cheeks rushed with blood. You closed your MacBook before looking at Frido.

“What did she want?”

Frido looked at you.

“Do you want me to tell you the truth or what you want to hear?”

“The truth”

“She asked if she could come over to talk to you, and she handed me this. She said it belonged to you, that you forgot it behind.”

You looked at Frido with anger in your eyes. It was building up rapidly, like steam was about to come flying out of your ears. You couldn’t form a sentence, not even say a word. Frido looked apologetically at you.

“I’m sorry babe; but this is all yours. I’m gonna hop into the shower, i have dinner with Cata and Caro soon”

She moved to stand on her knees in the bed before she kissed the top of your head and walk out of the room, closing the door behind her. You looked at the box Alexia had sent with her, and you wanted to burn it up. You wanted to destroy it, to throw it off a cliff and to hand it in to a charity shop. Whatever was left in the box was something that you had been perfect without.

You sat and stared at the box for a good 30 minutes debating on whether to open it or not. The decision ended up on leaning into your natural curious side. You pulled the lid of the box before closing your eyes and holding the box infront of your face.

Your eyes opened up with a squint, scared to see what was inside.

The first thing you pulled up was a picture of your cat. Gosh, you thought to yourself. I’m going to get him back.

You reached into the box and found a picture of you and Alexia. It was taken at a water park when you were 14, and your families had decided to do a shared vacation.

Then your hand found a little box.

You picked it up and shook it.

You immediately knew what was inside.

The lid was pushed off.

There it was.

In all its shining glory.

The band of Alexia’s promise ring.

You instinctively closed your eyes.

You picked it up and turned it around to face you while having your eyes closed.

You flipped it around towards you.

You opened your eyes in agony.

Wrong.

It is your promise ring.

Or.

It was your promise ring.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Play Nice

Summary: The reader knows she’s in it when Michael grabs her off the street. What she doesn’t understand though is what he’s up to and why he’s so unusually kind at times...

Pairing: Michael!Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: language, Michael being his usual creepy self

____

“Hello Y/N,” said Michael. You sat up on your bed, glaring daggers at him. He smiled, looking down at his shoes. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Wait,” you said, Michael smirking as he lifted his head.

“Yes, little one?” he asked. You sighed, staring up at him through your lashes. “Speak.”

“I want out of this basement,” you said.

“But as you previously said, you have all that you need here. You are not tired nor thirsty nor hungry. No harm could ever come to you here,” he smiled.

“I’m not an idiot,” you said.

“I never said you were.”

“You won. You won the second you grabbed me. So let’s get on with it, alright?” you asked. He nodded, lifting his chin up at you. He walked over to you, grabbing your right wrist gently. Something tingled in your arm. It wasn’t painful, just sensation. When he pulled it away, you saw a mark on your skin. “What’s this?”

“The beginning of our partnership,” he said. He snapped his fingers and you were in a kitchen, beautiful and clean and Michael walked behind you slowly. “The mark is like a tether. It pulls you to me and me to you. Not literally but you get the idea.”

“No running away?” you asked.

“No. Well you can but I’ll find you,” he said.

“What exactly is it that you want Michael? Besides my cooperation?” you asked.

“In time. For now, your cooperation is all I ask,” he said. He spun around. “This home is to your liking. I know what you desire with Dean and I think this satisfies. There is a vehicle for you out front and the town is only fifteen minutes away. Come and go as you please.”

“So I go from the little basement to no curfew? What gives?” you asked.

“You’re mine now,” he said with a shrug. “I feel as though...kindness will go farther with you than fear. But to be clear, there is room for both.”

“And if I try to contact Sam or anyone, you hurt Dean, is that right?”

“Quite correct. See? You’re not an idiot,” he said. You scowled, Michael walking back to you and touching your cheek. “He is safe in a dream. I’ve chosen not to harm him. Remember that.”

“You’re still not the good guy,” you said.

“Never claimed I was,” he said. “I’ll be back.”

He disappeared in front of you and you threw up your hands.

“I need money for stuff genius!” you said. You saw a credit card appear on the counter, your eyes looking all around. “Brownies?”

A plate of them appeared on the counter as well.

“Dean?”

A piece of paper popped up and you frowned when you lifted it up.

Don’t push it. Now stop asking unless it’s urgent.

You pouted and took a bite of the brownie.

“These are actually really good,” you mumbled. “You’re still an asshole though.”

One Week Later

You were getting ready for the day when mid way through washing your face, Michael appeared behind you.

“Fuck, Michael!” you shouted, trying to cover yourself up and forgetting about the soap. “Ah, ow, ow.”

“It’s a wonder your species has even made it this far,” he said, the pain in your eyes gone, your face wiped clean as he moved his hand around. You crossed your arms over your chest, Michael looking you over in your bra and underwear. “You do know I have access to Dean’s memories. I have seen you naked.”

“I know you’re a creepy guy and everything but could you be a little less creepy and get out of the bathroom!” you said.

“Don’t dwaddle,” he said, exiting the room. You sighed and finished getting dressed, down the stairs within ten minutes, Michael staring out the back window. “I thought I said don’t dwaddle.”

“I thought I said to stop being a creeper,” you said, putting your hands on your hips. “What do you want?”

“To touch your soul,” he said, looking over his shoulder.

“Considering I know that’ll hurt like a bitch, I’m gonna go ahead and say no,” you said, backing up and bumping straight into Michael’s chest. He rested his hands on your shoulders, your body tensing.

“This can be unpleasant for you or it can be pleasant. It’s your choice,” he said.

“W-What’s the pleasant version?” you asked.

“Close your eyes,” he said. You swallowed hard and did what he said. It wasn’t as though you had any choice. He rested a hand on top of your head and reached his other one around to your chest. “Take a deep breath and hold it.”

You inhaled and sealed your lips together, a warmth spreading throughout you before you felt his hand on your chest push in. It wasn’t painful but it felt so strange. 

“Alright,” said Michael after a moment, pulling his hands away. He walked in front of you, giving you a smirk. “You can breathe, little one.”

You let out a lungful of air, running your hand over your body. 

“No pain?” he asked.

“No,” you said. “What’d you do to me?”

“Not everything is about you, Y/N.”

“You’re a bitchy little angel, aren’t you,” you said. Michael smiled at you before you were pushed back against the wall, Michael staring you down.

“Congratulations, you just earned your first punishment,” he said. You frowned, the room suddenly much cooler. You looked down, only your bra and underwear on. “It seemed to bother you earlier. Sometimes subtly is the best approach.”

“If you want to make me have your nephilim-”

“No. No, Y/N. I do not desire one of those. You were disrespectful towards me so now am I returning it in kind,” he said.

“It’s still fucked up,” you said. He leaned back and spun around, a smirk on his face. Suddenly your clothes were back, Michael nodding. 

“Is that more to your liking?”

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “This is...”

You stared down at your shirt, cocking your head at Michael.

“Michael’s pet? Really?” you asked as you read the shirt.

“Behave and maybe we’ll upgrade that to partner someday,” he chuckled. “Stay out of the study for the day. I will be busy.”

He left without a word and you threw your head back. 

You liked it better when he stayed the hell away from you.

“Michael,” you said, knocking on the door to the study late that night. “Michael.”

“Yes, little one?” he asked as he opened the door. 

“My soul earlier...I feel funny,” you said. You weren’t expecting any compassion or anything of the sort. But you had a feeling he didn’t want you keeling over on him. 

“Funny how?” he asked, placing a hand against your forehead. “You are not ill.”

“I feel so tired,” you said.

“Well that is because I tapped into the power of your soul,” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“You are my true vessel’s soulmate. Your soul is...I’ve never been as powerful as since I began to be near you. Touching your soul today has helped me even further,” he said.

“Awesome,” you said, turning around and falling to the floor.

You woke up in your bedroom, Michael sitting on the edge, running his hand over your head.

“Don’t,” you whined.

“I am healing you, imbecile. Stay still. I don’t have to do this at all,” he said, returning to the calm motion, your body feeling better the longer he did it.

“You’re still evil,” you grumbled, tucking your covers around yourself.

“Everyone is capable of being evil, Y/N. All I ask is for a power up on occasion. That is all,” he said.

“I want Dean back,” you said.

“Dean is gone.”

“What do you mean Dean’s gone?” you said, pushing his hand away as you sat up.

“I mean, Dean is in heaven.”

You stared at him, Michael giving it right back until you jumped on top of him, wrestling Michael to the ground.

“You son of-”

“He’s not dead,” said Michael, pinning you to the floor with a snarl. “I made an arrangement with him. Temporary control of his body and he would relocate to a location capable of holding his soul.”

“You killed him you-” 

“I am not the villain of this story. You may think I am but I am not. My father is and you know damn well I am right,” he said.

“You-”

“No. I didn’t,” said Michael, pulling you up and pulling you into his lap.

“Yes you did,” you said, Michael running a hand up and down your back. “Lemme go.”

“Dean made me promise,” grumbled Michael. “To take care of you when you discovered the truth.”

“Fuck you,” you said.

“Our deal was extensive. You have no idea what is even going on, do you,” he said.

“You killed my boyfriend and soulmate and you kidnapped me and-”

“No, little one. My job is to protect you,” he said.

“Are you insane? You’re the bad guy!” you shouted at him.

“Oh, I am a bad guy. I’m not the bad guy. My father is far far worse and he needs to go,” he said. “Why do you think no one has come looking for you? They are all hiding or in heaven. Chuck cares nothing for you and you give me more power than he’ll be expecting. You’re going to help me defeat him.”

“And when it’s all over, you’re going to hop out of Dean and go on your way?” you scoffed.

“I didn’t say that. This universe will need a new God and I do like this body. I was the lesser of two evils,” he said.

“Fine. We beat Chuck and then you’re going to get the hell out of Dean,” you said.

“We’ll see about that,” chuckled Michael. You turned your head away, Michael still rubbing his hand up and down your back. “Are you finished feeling sad now?”

“No,” you said. Michael suddenly stood up with you, sitting down on the bed and putting your covers back over top of you.

“Sleep,” said Michael, putting his hand on your forehead. “The sooner you get used to this, the better.”

______

[ilovebuckers5]

*•♡never be like you pt 2 ♡¸.•*'

nika muhl x cheerleader!reader

"I am an architect, I'm drawing out the plan. its like 17, nobody understands "

word count - 2.6k

themes :

-slow burn

-comfort

warnings :

-toxic rls

-mentions to wet dreams

-cursing

a/n - I'm posting this today because one its my birthday and two I didn't want to starve you guys for longer than three days...

the amount of stress I had walking home was unremarkable. I had been staying at farah's dorm for a couple days. she already had a bed ready and made for me to sleep in once I texted her that I didn't want to be around Asher. I always kept a good amount of clothing there too so that I wouldn't have to take a trip to my apartment and deal with the millions of interrogations I would get from my boyfriend about where I was. the thought of seeing Farah completely cleared my brain and kept me calm until I walked off campus and began walking home. the door was locked. he never locked the door. I tore up my backpack looking for my keys but still couldn't find them. I kept on knocking on the door while searching for my keys before the door finally opened. there Asher was with his hair messed up. I took a moment to actually look up and look at his skin. his lips looked puffy, and had a red tint. more red than usual. his eyes were almost bloodshot.

"where were you huh? out with another guy?" he said while leaning on the door frame, already flexing his fists. I bit at the inside of my cheek, not being able to form words. its not like I was out with anyone other than Farah but I knew that no matter what I said, he wouldn't believe me. I held my breath and looked down at the floor while fidgeting with my rings. his hand rose up to my chin, grabbing onto hit and forcing me to look in his eyes. "fucking answer me." a couple tears started to well up in my eyes. I slowly swallowed the huge lump in my throat and croaked out the truth. "I was with Farah. no one else." his grip tightened around my skin before his other hand wrapped around my wrist, dragging me into the apartment. he snatched my bags out of my hands and tossed them in my room. the door slammed behind us before he took me into his room. "don't lie to me y/n. I know you are" his eyes were sinking into my soul every second that passed while our eyes were locked. I finally almost felt his grip loosen and the moment I thought it did, I attempted to rip my hand out of his grasp but he held onto me tighter. "asher can you please let go of me." I said, squirming my wrist back and forth as it turned red. this was the last thing I need right now.

right before I thought he would continue to pull at my wrist, he let go. tossing my wrist back at my side. a long relieved sigh was let out while I turned around to hide the couple of tears fell down my cheek. I sniffed in the small string of snot that was slowly falling from my nose and kept my face hidden.

"come here." Asher cooed while resting his hand on my waist. the light in his room was dimmed. the curtain were still open but barely let any light in since it was starting to get dark. before I spun around to look back at him, I reviewed how the room looked. it was mainly clean except for a couple pieces of clothing on the floor next to his bed. his bed had ruffled sheets and a comforter that was hanging off the side of the bed. I raised my eyes up to see that the closet door was almost closed and when I looked hard enough, I saw the white sclera of a girls eyes. my stomach dropped while she shut the closet door fully. Asher was only trying to turn me around so that I wouldn't see the naked girl hiding from me. as fun as it would be to call him out and slap both of the people across the face, I pretended that everything was fine. I let one more tear fall down my face while I turned to face asher's blue eyes. the man I was looking at right now was the one that always wondered if I was out getting fucked by another man. the man that couldn't keep away from me when he thought another mans hands was on me. the boy that told me if I was with anyone else, he'd kill me. when the entire time. it was another girl I should've been worrying about.

ashers knuckle dragged across my under eye, wiping the few tears off of my skin. he wiped the tear of his skin tight compressed shirt and then wrapped his arms around my waist, pretending to comfort me and care about me. I could tell that he was staring at the closet, hoping this girl wouldn't come out. yet he still acted like his eyes were facing my back, with his head down. he held me there in his arms before leading me onto his bed, stroking my hair. if he was going to cheat on me then I would just accidentally think it was Nika twirling my hair in her fingers. Nika who was rubbing my back. Nika. muhl, who was letting me fall asleep on her chest. I fell asleep with my makeup ruined like always but at least I didn't thing it was Asher who my dried mascara was falling on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the first thing I did when I woke up was check my phone. I ignored the fact that Asher was probably driving this random girl home while I laid on the bed she enjoyed my boyfriend on. when I opened my phone, I saw an Instagram notification.

nika.muhl started followed you

nika.muhl liked your post

nika.muhl liked your post

nika.muhl liked your post

damn. I mean at least it wasn't all of my posts.

i I actually unlocked my phone and texted Farah what happened last night. she called me within a second and all I could do was cry.

"hold on I'm coming to pick you up. grab asher's wallet."

farah took no time to drive over to my apartment and pick me up. she knocked on the door gently before stepping in once realizing that it was unlocked. I was still laying in asher's bed, tears soaked up my pillow case. I was wrapping myself around the blankets that was covering his body last night to try and find a sense of comfort. Farah been standing in the door way for a good amount of time before peeling me off of the mattress and standing me up in front of her. I refused to make eye contact until she raised my chin up with her finger. "listen to me. you are going to get through this. he's a cunt and I know you don't want to be with him. don't pretend like you do." she said sternly while wiping the few tears that fell down my skin. "cmon. lets go get coffee or something?" Farah wrapped her hand around my own, leading me out of the room.

for the first time in forever, I didn't even take the time to brush my hair or put on mascara or even change clothes. I just walked out the door, looking like I got hit by a bus, while being dragged to a coffee shops down the street by my best friend. she sat the two for us down at a table right next to the window. I felt a little breeze of cold air run through my hair each time the door next to us opened and closed. it was that hour that people would be coming inside for something to eat before classes. I swirled the stirring stick in my coffee,barely being able to take a sip.

obviously it hurt for Asher to manipulate me and act like I'm in the wrong. but its always been like that. it was always expected of him and I just got used to it. what I never thought he'd do is cheat on. especially when its all he thinks of me when I'm gone for more than 5 minutes "a cheater." the moment I locked eyes with that girl, all my emotions faded away and I was so lost I could even figure out who it was. but now that I'm thinking about it and remembering the moment. she had dark eyes. a taller yet thinner figure than my own. even with her hair disheveled across her head, I could see that it was darker, longer. I nearly spit out my coffee at the realization. he was sleeping with my second closest friend in the entire world. if Farah wasn't there to hold me (which she usually was) it was Natalie who would pull me in and kiss my forehead as if I'm a kid who scraped her knee. he was fucking Natalie Barlowe.

just a I was about to stand up and march to Natalie's house, Farah placed her hand on my shoulder mid setting down our breakfast. "woah woah what happened?" she gently pressed my shoulder down so that I would be seated.

"i-it was Natalie." - I choked out - "in the closet Farah. it was Natalie."

i felt my all my blood warm around my heart, almost squeezing it along with my lungs. I dipped my head down in my arms, pressing my now sweaty forehead on the ceramic table. the cool surface felt nice against all the heat that bubbled up in my head. hot tears fell down my eyes and I swear I could each and everyone of them splashing on the table beneath me. Farah's hand lurked up my back and slowly began rubbing back and forth. my back occasionally hitched up as more silent sobs left my mouth. I've felt this pain before and I never thought I would have to go through it again but here I am. Farah slowly slid into her own seat while trying to raise my head up to look at me. this time I wouldn't budge. not until I felt farah's hand leave my back to lift my body up and wrap her arms around me. still not letting my face into the public, my nose was dug into her shoulder while I continued to sob. once all the tears (for now) were emptied out, I pulled my head away from Farah's shoulder revealing my extremely puffy and red eyes. I quickly wiped a little bit of snot away from my nose and sat back down. I took a small bite out of the sandwich Farah bought for me. at this point I had no choice but to act and feel numb. I didn't smile but I didn't frown.

there was the breeze again. for some reason I felt the need to look at who was walking in the coffee shop now. to my surprise, it was Paige, Nika, and Aaliyah. I'm guessing they were trying their best to spend some time together before Nika and Aaliyah leave. once me and Paige's eyes locked, she sent over a small wave followed by her walking up to me and Farah's table. I looked away as fast as possible, covering my face with my hands, pretending to be asleep as if Paige didn't already see me shoot her a 'hey what's up' look.

farah was beyond confused by the fact that three star athletes from UConn were coming up to the two girls. I kept my head down, trying to dry some of my tears before someone could ask what's wrong with me. that's when I felt a tap on my back. "hey?" God that voice. I slowly lifted my head up and turned to see the 5'11 brunette standing above me. I felt my breath hitch and get stuck in my throat when I tried to speak. I cleared my throat and put my hand on Nika's, which was still resting on my back. I let her hand fall off of my hoodie but she kept a concerned look on her face. she tilted her head, using her eyes to ask me what happened. I had the idea of pulling her to the bathroom and explaining everything but that would awkward for almost everyone around me. Paige and Aaliyah quickly picked up a conversation with Farah, making her turn red out of embarrassment. I almost reached over to grab Nika's hand when she turned around to look at the people in this hop, I thought she was about to leave to buy a drink or something. I don't know why I was so freaked out by that thought. her hair flipped right back around when my finger grazed her hip after her hand. the way her eyes darted to mine sent a shock through my body and I swear the shop went silent.

as much as Asher hurt me, staring into Nika's eyes made me forget everything about. when I was with Nika it was like "who's asher?"

nika gave me a reassuring pat on the top of my hand, almost like she was letting me know she wasn't going anywhere no matter what. I looked behind me to see Farah sending me a 'save me' look but before I could barge in on whatever Paige was talking about, I blurted it out. "hey Nika do you want to go to a concert with me and Farah?" I have no idea why the fuck I did that but the good thing is I did.

"what?"

"what?" Nika and Farah said in unison. Nika's face almost lit up while Farah's slightly dropped. not with anger though, thank God. Nika's eyebrows furrowed towards her eyeballs while she scratched the back of her neck. "I mean-" she looked up at me then at Paige and then at aaliyah. they all gave her reassuring looks, telling her that she should go. "fuck it I guess. what day?" Nika pulled out her phone and opened the calendar app, getting ready to put down the date. Farah spoke before I could, "April 18th!" Nika quickly typed down the date and then shoved her phone back in her pocket. obviously I was fucking thrilled that Nika was coming with but how has she said yes when she doesn't even know who shes seeing? whatever. the only thing that mattered right now was the fact that one; I wouldn't have to deal with Asher at Olivia Rodrigo's concert and two; nika would be right next to me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

me, Farah, Paige, Aaliyah, and Nika decided to just hang out together while we ate breakfast instead of sitting at different tables. I took that moment to fill everyone in on what happened, not that I should've been getting so close and personal with them but...I now deem them as my new group of people to trust. because apparently teammates aren't reliable. we all said our goodbyes before walking back to campus in different directions. me and Farah spent the walk debriefing how I very clearly had a crush on Nika muhl and that the concert would be a perfect opportunity to make a move. a second one that is. Farah kept on nudging my shoulder and poking ta my stomach while smiling proudly.

"I can't believe you actually did that and she said yes like holy shit!" this entire morning made me completely forget about what happened the night before. and this time it didn't creep up on me thirty minutes later. I actually didn't care about it for a whole day. of course the next day was still difficult, I had completely started bunking at Farah's place until I had the confidence to just ditch Asher. he didn't deserve my presence anyways so I packed my shit and ditched.

farah was probably the most supportive person to breath, and not even just because shes my best friend I mean she will support anyone and everyone. whether they've done her wrong or not. sometimes it worries me how forgiving she is but then again we just had a breakfast buffet under asher's name so...

when we were back at her place, I plopped myself dramatically onto her bed while spreading my limbs about. the only thing I could manage to picture in my head was Nika. I cannot believe I'm actually going to a concert with basically a stranger. she never struck me as the type to go out on such short notice with someone like me. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and began to mindlessly scroll on Instagram, looking for something to actually be interested in that wasn't day dreaming about nika. of course she just had to slide into my DMS right when I'm trying to not think of her. the text popped up at the top of my screen and I felt my heart drop. I was already active so there wasn't any possibility of me ignoring her message. Hey. This is y/n right? I read the message and constipated what to say for way longer than I should've. shes just asking if I'm myself. am I myself? yes. yeah I totally am. hiii, yes this is y/n! I texted back while my thumbs almost shook.

we ended up talking all night I feel embarrassed to say it but I am fully head over heels for this basketball player now as if I would ever have a chance when so many other people have probably made moves on her by now. but then again why would she spend 4 hours texting me about anything and everything. our conversations alone made me happier than I had been in the past 2 weeks and I had just met this girl. no one has had this effect on me since high school and to be honest I've missed the feeling.

when I finally turned my phone off I looked up to see Farah standing next to me like a mom catching her kid playing a video game after bedtime. she had her hands on her hips and smug smile plastered on her lips. "who's got you kicking your feet huh?" Farah knew exactly who it was but of course she shoved the name out of my mouth. Farah laughed so hard she was on the brink of tears when she came back up for air. that's when I noticed she had her phone aimed at me, sitting on her bed with my feet in the air kicking back and forth. that's going to be posted in no time. I quickly rolled over to hide the fact that I was having the time of my life crushing on this girl. and as much as I tried to hide it, I get red when I think about her and when shes anymore in my vicinity.

i spent the entire night staring at the ceiling dreaming about how on earth I would try to actually have Nika love me if that was even possible. and of course when I fell asleep the first thing I dreamed (the only thing) was what the night would be like after the concert. what we would do after. if we made it back to a hotel or just drove home. maybe stopped at a gas station or any parking lot. talked for a little bit. maybe about the concert then maybe about how badly I wanted my lips against hers. but hey that's just a what if. and just a dream. so when I woke up in the middle of the night I had to gaslight myself into believing it in fact was going to happen just so that I could sleep peacefully without another wet dream about Nika muhl.

[sunayyyy]

There are a lot of What-ifs when it comes to jason todd. What would've happened if bruce didn't take jason in? what if jason was taken in by selina and became stray? what if jason didn't die?what if jason was found before the lazarus pit? but one that i don't see at all is what if jason didn't come back and just stayed with the All Caste?

The Lost Days arc would go about the same as in canon (without the talia thing because ew), but after the car bomb thing doesn't pan out jason just starts looking into the batfam more. He sees his dad for the first time in years. He forgets everything and considers coming back home.

But then he finds out how his death was handled

Of course he'd still be pissed off about tim becoming robin, but more than that bruce and dick spun it so people though tim was the second robin. Jason's whole identity was usurped, and was prompted by alfred of all people. Add to that the memorial case and the victim blaming, as well as him not having a memorial in titans tower and tim talking shit about him every chance he gets and jason starts to lose hope. But these things could be fixed! These could all be explained away as emotionally incompetent people compartmentaling in order to get over their grief! right?

Then he finds the footage of dick killing the joker for tim. Sure, the joker taunted dick using jason's memory, but it was him thinking tim was dwad that really set him off. The final nail in the coffin would be bruce reviving the joker. Jason now has proof that 1. tim was indeed his replacement, and 2. Bruce's morals and dick's clean hands are worth more than his mangled corpse.

He scraps all of his plans because now he KNOWS that bruce would never kill the joker for him. Disillusioned with bruce and gotham in general, he sneaks into arkham and pits a bullet in the joker's skull, then goes to the all caste for training. If they didn't care about him, why should he care about them?

I think ducra would be less wary about training jason in this au, since his drive for revenge had dissipated, and he wouldn't "bring great evil into this world."

Since ducra wouldn't really show favouritism to jason, since he isn't as much of a flight risk or a time bomb, i think his and essence's relationship would go way better than in canon. Their main points of contention were jason leaving the caste and ducra's favouritism, and without those 2 factors, their relationship could actually flourish.

Due to the all blades being linked to the soul, it would make sense if the caste taught soul magic. This would make jason a way better fighter than any baseline vigilante or assassin. Maybe he could use his abilities to hide his body language to avoid shiva and cass' ability? The all caste doesn't get massacred here, so he learns how to really socialise, talk with people with different experiences, so he could occasionally go back to the alley or the hill to reconnect with his old friends, like dana or numbers, since he wouldn't push people away like in canon.

The untitled wouldn't be as big of a threat as they were in RHatO since there are way more people available, and jason being super trained, so maybe jason would adopt a new vigilante identity to help people on a more personal level. He considers going by Red Hood, as a taunt to the man that killed him, but he doesn't like it. It's a remnant of a past he'd rather forget. Maybe he'd go by cardinal, but he doesn't want to be associated with a bird anymore. I think marauder would be a really good name for him, a man who goes around looking for things to steal and people to fight.

You can have him interact with some justice league dark members, especially Constantine since I really like their dynamic, and he could deal with hellspawns since he wields the allblades now.

JayEssence is a rarepair, which is a shame since i think these 2 could have a really interesting dynamic if written properly, so I'd probably go with that as the endgame ship, but you could work in so many of his ships. JayRose? childhood friends on the titans who reconnected after jason studied under slade for a bit. JayEddie? same thing but they reconnect in hell. Jaytemis? they could run into eachother during a mission and they'd recognise death anywhere. enemies to reluctant allies to lovers. JayDana? classic childhood friends to lovers. The possibilities are endless

[doomhands-jr]

The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 12

Pairing: Delinquent!Noah Sebastian X Pastor's Daughter!Reader

Summary: Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Nothing but fluff, baby.

Masterlist

Thanks to @flowerynerds for the banner!

Thanks to @throughwoodsanddirt for the beta!

___________

The New England winters tended to hone its inhabitants like an axe against a grindstone, sloughing off the weaker bits until you were left with only the hardest, sharpest edges of the soul. 

The anticipated nor’easter was due to hit sometime in the next few days. Local newscasters said it was likely to be severe. Currently, it was the calm before the storm. The weather was still, like all the substance had been sucked out of the air so the storm could dump it out again once it hit. 

On the ground, gray-stained slush clung to sidewalks and frozen lawns, still leftover from last week’s snowfall. The bitter December air stung at your nostrils and turned the tip of your nose red, and Noah Davis’s hot breath drifted out of his open mouth in billowing clouds as he looked down at you from where he stood in his door frame. 

It was early morning—three days after you’d spoken with Nick. The western edge of town had all but cleared out, having been comprised mostly of students, who had all gone home for the month-long winter break. 

Noah sniffed, blinking down at you and you cleared your throat. 

“I, um…I have your stuff.” 

You held out the clothes he’d let you borrow, freshly washed and folded, stacked neatly in a pile on top of your mittens. 

Noah stepped to the side and gestured for you to enter, which you did, apprehensively. Something about being in his space felt off-limits to you, yet he welcomed you in without hesitation. 

Briefly, you surveyed the space before you. A worn sofa and two overstuffed armchairs surrounded a stained coffee table littered with empty beer cans, paper plates, and ashtrays with the spent butts of cigarettes and, you suspected, joints. 

The mess was contained to the coffee table, however. The rest of the living room was fairly clean. A large-screen TV sat atop a dark glass stand. An array of gaming consoles and controllers decorated the shelves below it. It was off, and you could see a shadow of your reflection in the black glass of the screen. 

Noah cleared his throat and you spun around to look at him. He regarded you with intention, surveying you up and down, but his face didn’t betray whatever information he gathered from the act.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked. 

“I’m good,” you said, and immediately regretted it because it wasn’t until after you spoke that you realized how dry your throat had become. “Water, actually.” 

He let out a breath somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, moving to the open-concept kitchen space to fetch a glass out of the cupboard. “Have a seat,” he called over to you without looking. 

You took a seat on the brown tweed couch, shrugging off your coat and removing your mittens, and bundled them into a neat pile on your lap. 

The acrid smell of stale cigarettes stung the inside of your nose and you discreetly nudged the ash tray across the coffee table. 

Noah appeared at the other side of the table, a glass of water clasped in his outstretched arm and you took it gratefully, working hard not to look at him too much. 

Though this wasn’t the first time you’d seen him since your one and only sexual experience, it was still a shock to your system. Noah stood in front of you, looking regrettably Jesus-like with his long hair cascading down his shoulders. His clothes were unassuming—gray hoodie and black jeans, but they fit him effortlessly well. 

He took his seat on the armchair to your left, legs about six inches too long to fit comfortably between the chair and the end of the coffee table. He rubbed his shins, friction offering more warmth than the sputtering vents and the furnace that whined in protest. Even your ancient dorm with its concrete brick walls could stay warmer than the drafty rental Noah and the band called home. 

You noticed a distinct absence of sound or movement in the house. 

“Just you today?” you asked. 

“Folio and Ruffilo went home for the holidays,” he said, settling back into his chair and sipping from a mug of black coffee. 

You didn’t need to ask why he wasn’t doing the same—with all the baggage he carried from his family, you’d be surprised if they even exchanged Christmas cards. 

You bounced your knee, knowing there was a conversation to be had, but not wanting to approach it. 

“I’m surprised you’re still in town,” he remarked. 

This time you chanced a look at him. The coffee mug obscured part of his face, but his eyes still held the same intensity they always had. 

“My parents are on a missions trip in Africa,” you said. 

He quirked his head to the side, forehead wrinkling in confusion, and something about the crease between his eyebrows had you looking away again, too overstimulated by your own attraction to him. This was going to be harder than you thought. 

“What’s a mission trip?” he asked. 

“Missions trip,” you corrected. “It’s where groups of people go and build schools and stuff in small towns that don’t have enough resources.” You said this into your glass of water, thankful for something you could anchor your focus on. 

“That’s pretty sick, actually.” 

“Yeah,” you said, taking a sip to quell the tightness in your throat. “Yeah, I mean, it’s all sort of religiously-motivated though. The real reason is to spread Christianity.” 

You almost felt his face twist with displeasure. Glancing over at him confirmed it. He didn’t say anything though. He didn’t need to. You understood what that look was about and you felt the same. 

A few awkward moments passed while you tried to think of anything you could say that wasn’t the one thing you came here to say. 

“How were your finals?” Noah asked, coming to your rescue. 

“Good,” you answered too quickly in a rush of air. You cleared your throat and forced your next words to come out at a more conversational pace. “They were good. I think I passed all of them.” 

If Noah noticed anything off about your energy, he didn’t let on. Instead, he smiled. “I’m not surprised.” 

You gave him a questioning look. 

“You’re really smart,” he explained, setting his coffee on the table in front of him, sans coaster, “and you seem like the type of person to study hard.” He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair while he said it, resting his chin on the palm of his other hand. 

You smiled back because he’d clocked you. “Does that make me boring?” you asked, finally relaxing into the usual back-and-forth of your conversations with Noah. 

His smile grew wider, and you were stuck by just how sharp the corners of his mouth were. “I don’t think it does. I mean, if that was all there was to you, it might, but you have more layers than that.” 

“Like an ogre,” you said. 

His face fell and he blinked, waiting for you to explain. 

“From Shrek.” 

“Get out.” 

Your composure cracked, and through the fissure erupted a fit of giggles, surface tension finally breaking into something warm and homey. Noah snickered and at last, the shields were down—both of you disarmed and ready for what lay ahead. 

It took several moments for the energy in the room to settle where it needed to be. When it finally did, you regarded Noah with your full attention for the first time since arriving. 

He looked tired. The light bags that usually hung around just under his eyes had deepened into something sadder. Patchy stubble dotted his chin and upper lip, and his hair looked stringy and unwashed. 

“So,” he began, drumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair. 

“So,” you parroted. 

In the span of a few seconds, the air around you folded in on itself and grew twice as thick—dense with unspoken sentiments and the possibilities for what could come out of this conversation. 

He fixed you with a serious look, assessing your demeanor before speaking again. You’d been on the other end of that look before, but every time it happened, it struck you just how large and intimidating Noah’s presence was. 

“Should we talk about it?” he asked. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, leaning back in your seat. When you opened them again, you were staring at the ceiling. “No….” 

You heard Noah huff a laugh through his nostrils. That was good. At least he was amused by your discomfort. Without lowering your head, you shifted your eyes over in his direction. He smiled at you, and it took the edge off. 

“I promise I won’t make this any harder than it has to be.” You appreciated the gentle tone he took—a nurse soothing his patient before administering a shot. 

You said nothing, but no longer protested. He took it as his cue to go on. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

You exhaled deep. “I know,” you replied, unable to look anywhere but your hands. His apology didn’t make you feel any better about what happened. It was more for him. 

“I know you know,” he said. “But I want to explain why.” 

It was already too much. You squeezed your eyes shut and blinked them back open. You hated everything about this situation. “Why you ghosted?” 

“Why I’m sorry,” he said. 

You looked at him with trepidation. He had your attention, but you were still wary and unsure if you wanted to hear what he was about to say. You almost hated yourself for being stupid enough to give him the chance to apologize. 

If he got it wrong it would feel like reopening a wound. 

He took a deep breath. Somewhere behind his eyes, an unnamed heaviness settled in and you had to look away. The last thing you wanted to do was empathize with the man who hurt you.  

“I’m not the best communicator,” he began slowly. 

“Ya’ think?” You couldn’t stop the sarcasm from slipping out. His face went from soft and patient to something more frustrated.  

“Sorry,” you muttered. 

He swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat before he resumed. “Things like honesty and vulnerability? They were weaknesses in my book for a long time. I could go into detail about why, but that’s not really important.

“What’s important now is that you know that I’m trying. I understand that I fucked up. I hate that I did it. I wish I wasn’t that person, but it’s a shortcoming that I’m learning to deal with.” 

“I also hate that you fucked up,” you said, matter-of-factly. You didn’t say it to hurt him, but it was true, and it was important to you that you no longer filtered your thoughts to protect his feelings. 

Noah, being Noah, saw the humor in your statement and huffed. “Your honesty is refreshing. If not a little cold,” he said. A half-smile painted his face and God, if you didn’t want to slap it off him so that you’d no longer have to look at it. 

Letting his face fall neutral again, he continued. “You’re not the first important person that I’ve hurt because of this,” he said. “But hurting you did force me to pay attention to how that feels, and I don’t like it. I’m tired of being an asshole, and I think, moving forward, I want to be more honest. Not just with you, but with myself. I think I’ve been fooling myself for a long time about what’s important to me, and I’m starting to realize those things don’t make me happy.” 

You resisted the urge to ask him what things he was talking about. You wanted to break out of the habit of giving him more attention than he’d earned. That had always been a problem for you with men, and you suspected it was what got you into this mess in the first place. 

You could see on his face that he almost expected you to ask him more, and when you didn’t, he faltered for a moment. “Good,” you said with a nod. 

He deflated, but ultimately melted into a smile. “Thanks,” he said. You could tell he meant it, and holy bricks, did that have you softening more for him against your will. 

A warmth blossomed between the two of you, slowly at first, but it grew with each passing moment. You could feel it in your bones, and despite your best intentions, you caught yourself smiling. 

You didn’t want Noah to have this pull over you. You couldn’t tell if you were relieved that he’d done a good job with his apology, or resentful because it would have been so much easier to write him off had he failed. 

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” you asked, ready to be done with the conversation for the time being and beyond grateful it hadn’t stemmed into more intimate territory—you didn’t think you could handle that. 

“How are you?” he asked. “I feel like so much has happened since we last talked.” 

“Ha!” you said. “You could say that again.” 

Noah leaned back in his chair, shifting his weight to make himself more comfortable. “Tell me about it. Do you want to get some food? I’d love to catch up.” 

“Maybe another time,” you said, with only the slightest twinge of regret. It was for the best. “I’ve got laundry to do.” 

It was a lie. You had nothing to do, but as much as you wanted to spend more time with him, your intuition was telling you to go, and you’d promised yourself you’d start listening more. Something inside of you wasn’t ready to be alone with him for much longer. 

“I understand,” he said, voice dipping in enthusiasm, but clearly respectful of your boundaries. “What about tomorrow?” 

You didn’t have an excuse ready—the knee-jerk denial didn’t kick in at the idea. Perhaps that was a sign? 

“I…I can’t commit for sure, but I’ll think about it.” 

He seemed satisfied with your answer, offering a smile that was a little too sincere for you to handle and you had to get out of the room before you lost all sense of self. 

“Okay. See you around,” you said quickly, shuffling to grab your backpack and swing it around onto your shoulder while nearly tripping over the coffee table on your way to the door. 

Noah didn’t chase you—you knew he was going to give you whatever space you needed in order to be ready for him. 

And that might have been what scared you most. 

------------

The tip of Noah’s nose almost touched the mirror with how close he was leaning over the bathroom sink. He’d been dealing with a very stubborn ingrown hair in a painful spot right under his nostrils. It was angry and red, but it hadn’t quite come to a head yet. 

Perfect. Just what he needed. 

He leaned back to get a better macro view of himself. The spot was definitely visible, but he was more than likely fixating on the small flaw. He couldn’t help it though—he was nervous. 

Letting his gaze drift over the rest of his face, he noticed he’d missed a spot while shaving. Fetching his razor from the shelf in his bathroom cabinet, he ran it under water and brought it to his face, moving it slowly around his jaw. 

Fuck! 

He nicked the skin. 

At first there was nothing, but then red began to seep out from the tiny cut and Noah had to grab a tissue and dab at the small drop of blood that had gathered around the wound. 

Steadying himself with a deep breath, he grasped at the porcelain sink with both hands before facing the mirror once again. 

This was stupid. He was stupid. You were just someone he liked. There was no reason for him to be so on edge. This wasn’t even a real date, you were just meeting up for coffee. 

Exhaling slowly through his nostrils, he brought the razor to his face once again, this time successfully removing the hair he missed. He finished up with moisturizer, giving one last menacing look at the angry red zit above his upper lip and recognized that it was a lost cause. There was nothing he could do about it now. 

He reached for the bottle of spiced oil he usually wore and then thought better of it. This was a special occasion. He had a small sample bottle of designer cologne tucked away in the back of his sock drawer. Normally he wasn’t the type to reach for expensive brand names, but he was nineteen at the time and he liked the way it smelled, so he shoplifted it from an outlet mall that wasn’t smart enough to keep their shit in locked displays.  

Noah smiled bitterly at the memory. He’d done a lot of stupid shit in his youth. He supposed he was still in his youth, because hardly four months had passed since his last petty crime—the one that had led him to meet you. 

He understood why he did it all. But lately the desire to act out wasn’t there, and he didn’t know why. 

Perhaps these days, there was a greater incentive to earn his joy. He no longer needed to steal it. 

Dabbing a small amount of the cologne on his pulse points, he stuffed it back in the drawer and shut it away. He could reflect on his shifting morality later. Right now, he needed to figure out what he was going to wear. 

________

Noah exhaled into his palms, warm breath serving to heat up the red, frozen extremities. It was a short walk to your dorm, but the air was bitingly cold and the snow was already ankle-deep. The storm was due to hit sometime within the next 24 hours, but he still had some time before the sidewalks grew too treacherous to walk. He wore the nicest outerwear he owned—a black pea coat and pair of black leather boots, but they were no match for the harsh December cold. 

He raised his hand and rapped three times on your dorm. 

He heard momentary shuffling on the other side before you opened the door in a flurry. The first thing he noticed was the light dusting of pink across your cheeks and the way your chest heaved with labored breathing. Try as he did to keep his eyes focused on your face, he let them drop for only a moment to take in the sight of you in your plain white top and faded denim jeans. 

You looked clean, comfortable, and unassuming, and for some unknown reason, it did things to Noah. 

“Hi,” you breathed and all at once, the moisture in Noah’s mouth evaporated, leaving a dry, scaly desert in its place. One hundred percent of his brain power was devoted to taking in the sight of you until it was satisfied that it had catalogued every inch of your presence. 

“Hi,” he said once his speech returned. His voice came out softer than intended. 

“You ready?” you asked, grabbing your coat from the back of the door. He tried to peek inside your dorm room—wanted badly to glean any additional knowledge of who you were when you weren’t with him, but you didn’t afford him the chance, stepping out and shutting the door behind you in one swift motion. 

“Yeah,” he replied, and then he didn’t say anything else because he’d apparently never had a single conversation in his life and had no idea how to begin one. 

You and Noah walked in silence, boots leaving two pairs of footprints in the snow. You wrapped your arms around you as you walked, and Noah noticed you wore mittens instead of gloves. He liked it. He liked that you wore mittens instead of gloves and it stuck out to him because he couldn’t remember ever liking any article of clothing worn by a woman that wasn’t about what wasn’t covered.

You observed the surroundings while Noah observed you, every once in a while commenting on a specific tree or building you liked, pointing to it with a mittened hand and Noah briefly wondered if there was a limit to how much time he could observe you being yourself before he got bored. He hoped he’d never reach it.  

“What’s up with you today?” you asked as the two of you rounded the corner that led to the coffee shop. “You’re quiet.” 

“Sorry,” he said casually. “Would you like me to talk more?” 

It wasn’t sarcastic, but a genuine question, asked in the way a server would if they found out their customer didn’t enjoy the meal. Did you want him to bring something more appetizing to the table? 

“No,” you said, looking down at your boots. “I just…want to know what’s on your mind.” 

The only thing on his mind was how physically aware of you he was. To ease the tension that had been pulling on his bones, he took a step closer to you. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch you in some way—grab your hand or throw his arm around you or something—but he refrained.  “Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “Just vibing.” 

You rolled your eyes, sighing as the two of you reached the entrance to the coffee shop and you pulled on the large brass door handle, gesturing for him to enter first. “Well, I take back what I said earlier then,” you said. “I do want you to talk more. I’m doing all the heavy lifting.” 

Noah smiled, tickled by how unapologetically honest you were. He liked this version of you. Not that he didn’t like every version of you he’s had the privilege of knowing, but something was different. You were less eager to please him. Almost like you wielded the sharper parts of your personality as a weapon, testing to see if its sting would scare him away. 

It wouldn’t. 

“What do you want to do after you graduate?” he asked as the two of you made your way to the counter. 

“Just jumping right in, then? No warmup?” you asked. Noah shrugged. “Grande cinnamon vanilla latte, please.” you said to the barista. 

“Medium black coffee,” said Noah. 

Noah was reminded of the first time the two of you went to this café together. You were wearing the same rubber boots and Noah was doing his best to flirt with you. He smiled to himself and pulled out his card to pay. You let him without protesting. Good. You knew you deserved it. 

“I’m not sure anymore, to be honest,” you said as the two of you slid over to the pickup window. “I used to think I would work at the church my dad owned. Be office personnel or something.” 

“That doesn’t seem like you,” Noah observed. 

You shrugged. “It was the obvious choice at the time. My parents both believe I belong in the ministry in some regard.” 

“Would you be a pastor one day?” Noah asked.

You let out a loud, bitter laugh. “I don’t think our church would ever be ready for female leadership. It’s so old-school.”

Noah frowned. He didn’t like hearing that. In his opinion, you’d make a much better pastor than any other religious person he’s met. You actually practiced what you preached. 

“So what do you think you’ll do instead?” he asked, trying to shift the subject away from religion. He got the feeling that those wounds were still fresh for you. 

You shrugged. “To be honest, I haven’t put much thought into it. I know I should, but so much has changed in the last few weeks—I’m still kind of wrapping my head around it.” 

“I get it,” he said, reaching to pick up the drink orders that had arrived. You led the way over to a small two-person table in corner of the otherwise empty café. Noah followed dutifully, trying his best to express with every single movement how completely present he was here with you. He was sure you didn’t notice, but that wasn’t the point. For him, it was about the intention. 

“You do?” you asked, sitting down. Noah sat across from you and indulged in a moment of unapologetic eye contact. 

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “I mean, not that I’m experiencing it or anything, but I know that when it comes to big decisions like that, I need a clear head. If there’s too much stuff going on in my life at one time, I don’t have the headspace to think about it.” 

Some of the tension in your shoulders slackened—not by much, but he was so hyper-aware of you by that point that he couldn’t miss it. He wanted to think it was because of him. 

Rather than responding, you sipped at your latte, closing your eyes and savoring it. He took another indulgent moment—this time, to observe how your face responded to the small moment of pleasure. It was almost sexual, he noticed, the way you tucked your lips between your teeth and smiled. He appreciated that this moment was clearly for you, but that you allowed him to witness it. 

His mind drifted, picturing himself drawing that same response from you with his touch. A hot coil tugged just behind his navel. Saliva pooled on his tongue and his thumb twitched with the urge to reach out and tug your bottom lip away from where it sat tucked under your teeth—until he caught himself. Lusting after you felt forbidden in a way he hadn’t allowed lust to feel since middle school. 

Noah sipped at his coffee, eyes trained on you until you were finished squeezing all the serotonin out of the taste. It was bitter, but in a good way—like he needed a palate cleanser to shock his system after the sickening sweetness of the last few moments. 

“What about you?” you asked eventually. “Are you planning to stay at your job?” 

“No,” he said. “The job is there to pay the bills while I try to find something else.” 

It had become apparent that he’d have to find something else sooner rather than later. As much as the piece work gave him time to think, all of the repetitive motion was taking its toll on his body. He came home at the end of every shift with back pain on his left side and he’d been having to spend more and more time in the gym evening it out. 

“What would something else be?” you asked, eyes trained on him and his neck grew warm under the intense observation. 

“I want my music to take off, if possible,” he said. “I’ve been working on a lot of new stuff. Actually, I’d love to show you sometime if you want.” 

“What kind of stuff?” you asked before taking another slow sip. 

“Different from what I usually write. More experimental. I like it, but I haven’t shown the band, so I’m not sure what they’ll think.” 

You nodded slowly, mulling something over in your head and Noah waited patiently while you found your words. 

“I think…,” you began. “I think I’d be okay with hearing it. If you wanted to share, that is.” 

Noah blinked a few times. “I mean, yeah. I’d love to share it with you, but why the hesitation?” 

You smiled bashfully, full lips still wrapped around the edge of your cup. “It’s hard to explain. And it sounds mean.” 

“Please humor me,” said Noah in earnest. He liked when you were mean. You deserved to be mean. He had a sneaking suspicion that you’d only ever been overly nice in the past and the more you dropped the façade and stopped worrying about being polite, the more he enjoyed your company. 

You licked your lips, staring down into your mug and smiled to yourself again. “I’m trying to be careful with how much attention I’m giving to men these days.” 

“Oh.” The word escaped in a breath from Noah’s parted lips. His eyebrows lifted up towards his hairline and he had to take a minute to digest this bit of information. 

Something that felt a lot like jealousy flared up in his stomach and he had to examine it. He didn’t like it, whatever it was. It felt hot, slimy, and thick, and it sat just below his ribs. 

“Other men too?” He couldn’t help but ask for clarification. Perhaps he was showing his cards by bringing it up, but he didn’t care. 

The way the corner of your mouth lifted in response to his question let him know that you caught on to the implications of his question. “If there were other men, yes.” 

“So there are no other men,” he stated, feeling a flicker of hope rise up in his chest. 

“They’ve all gone home for Christmas break.” The teasing smile never left your lips as you said it. 

Fine. You could play your cards close to the chest if you wanted. He was fine with that. Whatever. 

He liked it though. Underneath the frustration, he liked this version of you: empowered, a little bitchy, tongue like a whip, lashing him in penance for his sins. The sick, masochistic side of him wanted more. Needed more. [4] 

He took a deep breath to help him refocus. “So why the newfound caution? Not that I’m against it, it’s probably a good idea. But why?” 

You raised an eyebrow, wordlessly asking if he really wanted to get into it, and he did, so he held your gaze until you decided to grace him with the truth. 

“I think I’ve given men a lot of unearned attention. It’s come back to bite me many times over. I’m trying to learn my lesson this time.” 

Noah nodded. He knew he was one of the reasons. He was prepared to hear that. But then… 

“What other times have you done that?” 

You tilted your chin down, narrowing your eyes in skepticism. “You mean aside from you?” you asked. 

He couldn’t help but smile, appreciating how resistant he was growing to the sting of your candor. You weren’t afraid to let him know just how much he’d messed up. 

He nodded. 

Your eyes flicked up to the ceiling while you thought. You sucked on your teeth while your gaze drifted across the room, picturing invisible figures from your past and the moments they’ve wronged you. 

“My dad, for one.” 

He was hoping you’d say that one. 

“How?” Noah scooted forward in his chair, elbows resting on the table between the two of you. Part of him was eager to know how his fuckup had fared in comparison to other men in your life.

“Even just listening to him preach every single Sunday. Sometimes the sermons would be worthwhile, but a lot of them were just him spouting his opinions on how people should behave. I don’t like that he has the platform he has. He doesn’t deserve it.” 

Your face had morphed into a scowl as you talked. Noah could see the resentment you held for your father and he wished there was something he could do—some word of comfort he could offer, but he knew it wasn’t his place, considering. 

“Isaac, too,” you said, and Noah rejoiced internally. He’d been hoping you’d say that even more.

“What did he do?” Noah asked, training his face and voice to appear calm and unbiased. 

“Oh my god,” you said, setting your cup down in front of you and clasping your hands together with a newfound focus. “I forgot you don’t even know!” 

“Know what?” 

“Isaac donated the proceeds of the showcase to a pro-life organization.” 

Noah had to force himself to swallow the sip of coffee he’d just taken. “What?!” 

You launched into the story, telling him all about how you’d been lured into participating because he’d said he wanted to donate the proceeds to charity, and how he’d been respectful the entire time, despite knowing how you felt about the subject. How he didn’t tell you about it beforehand because he knew you’d protest, so he went and did it behind your back, and how you didn’t find out until right before you were supposed to go on stage and sing. 

“Which I rocked, by the way, and you totally should have been there to see it,” you said, crossing your arm and fixing him with a scowl. 

“Something came up. I’ll have to make it up to you somehow,” he said. He didn’t have the heart to tell you he’d gone, but was too much of a coward to go inside the sanctuary. 

“Yeah, I know. That Something apparently lives in my dorm and had a lot to say.” 

Noah’s eyebrows pulled together. “What?” 

Apparently he’d struck a nerve. Within the span of a second, you were back to being closed off from him, arms folded across your chest and chin jutting out while you stared out the window. He probably deserved that. 

“I forget her name. Madison or whatever,” you said. 

Internally, his body hissed at him. He forgot he’d been trying to use Madison as a distraction. He hated that he’d done it, but at the time it felt necessary. He wasn’t sure how he could explain that to you, though. 

“So yeah,” you said. “I’m done with men for a while,” you said, still staring out the window and bouncing the leg that was crossed over the other. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry,” he said. “I should have been there. It was…not my best hour.” 

He could tell you wanted more of an explanation, but weren’t about to beg for one. He’d tell you what really happened eventually…just not yet. 

 “What can I do to earn your favor?” he asked. 

“Be worth my time.” You said it without missing a beat and Noah had to hold back a snort. He was not expecting such a no-holds-barred answer from you and it hit him like a bucket of…not exactly ice water, but something warmer. Kinder. You were giving him the information he needed, unafraid of whether or not it would hurt his feelings. God, there was something about that he couldn’t get enough of. 

“Noted,” he said. “Still, I can’t believe Isaac did that.” 

“Yeah, well…,” you trailed off, mouth still pulled down into a frown. A few beats passed where neither of you said anything, and in the silence, Noah realized what he had to do.

He drained the rest of his coffee, then stood up and collected his things. 

“I should get you home then,” he said. 

Your face morphed into one of surprise. “What?” Noah wished he could take a photo of how you looked right then. Lips parted in bewilderment. Eyebrows pulled together in confusion. It was cute. 

“Your time is precious,” he said. “I don’t want to take up more than I’m worth.” 

“That’s not…are you serious?” you asked, turning to face him. He was already setting his empty mug in the dirty dish bin at the end of the counter. He turned back to face you and nodded to the door, gesturing for you to follow. 

You dumped the remainder of your latte into your mouth and stood, shoving your arms into your coat and hurrying to catch up. “What’s the rush?” you asked. 

“Trying to respect your time,” he said, smiling to himself as you struggled to match his pace. 

“Noah,” you said firmly, grabbing his arm and turning him around to face you. You didn’t say anything else but studied him with your jaw set firm. 

He stared back, face calm, but unyielding. The wind picked up, blowing a few strands of hair across your face. The skin at the back of his neck stood on end in the cold. His nose began to run, and he sniffed it back. 

“Why are you doing this?” you asked. In the back of his mind, he registered your hand still wrapped around his arm. 

“I just got back into your good graces,” he admitted. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”  “Overstay? Noah, we’ve only been hanging out for an hour.” 

“I know,” he said, resisting the urge to pull you in closer. “It was an hour I wasn’t sure I’d get.  I’m grateful for that.” 

“Okay,” you said, looking off to the side when the eye contact grew too intense. “So, what’s the problem?” 

Noah searched for the right words, trying to describe what until now had only been a vague emotion that hadn’t quite surfaced. 

“The problem is that I will always want more than I’ve earned,” he said, softly, like he was only just now admitting this to himself. “An hour is already more than I deserve. Any more, and I’d get spoiled. But I would love the opportunity to earn your company again soon.” 

You processed what he said for a few beats and then rolled your eyes, lips stretching into a begrudging smile and if Noah had the ability to freeze time, he’d use it right then and there to study every inch of your face. 

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” you said, sighing and hooking your arm through his. You allowed him to walk you back to your dorm. 

“Maybe,” he said, enjoying the pressure of your elbow against his. “Hopefully a harmless one.” 

“Is this love bombing?” you asked, short legs still struggling to keep up with his long ones. “Are you love bombing me?” 

“I hope not,” he said. “That would be really fucked up if that were the case.” 

“It would make you a terrible person,” you agreed. “You better not be love bombing me.” 

“I’ll watch out for that,” he said, smiling to himself. “What counts as love bombing in your book?” 

You grinned, as if this was a special interest of yours and you’d been waiting for someone to ask you that exact question. 

“Showering me with compliments, for one,” you began. 

“Noted. You look terrible today.” 

“Ha!” you said, nearly skipping with energy and warmth bloomed in Noah’s body at the thought he’d made you happy. 

“To be honest, I don’t exactly know,” you said. “I think people who love bomb have this skill about them–where they can pay close attention to a person, pick up on what they want or need, and then give it to them. But it doesn’t come from a good place, and they can’t sustain that energy. They do it until they get what they want, and then they leave.” 

Noah’s stomach twisted, the warmth that had previously inhabited it sucked away in a vacuum, leaving only tightness. 

He’d done that before. Many times. Fuck. 

As the two of you walked back to your dorm, Noah’s conscious weighed heavy on him. You continued talking about red flags, but Noah’s ability to actively listen was compromised with the weight of his guilt. 

He had a habit of justifying his past actions to himself–if women were naive enough to fall for simple flattery, they deserved it, he told himself. 

His stomach rocked again and he felt like he was going to be sick. 

He couldn’t change his past. He was well-aware he’d done things he wasn’t proud of, but he could change how he was going to act moving forward. 

This time, he was determined to get it right. 

“I guess this is where I leave you,” he said, unhooking his arm from yours. 

You stared at the door longingly, and Noah hoped that meant that you weren’t ready to leave. 

“You want to do this again sometime?” you asked, turning to him. 

Noah nodded, swallowing the sinking feeling in his chest for now. He could process everything when he got back to his apartment. “This or whatever else. Whatever works best for you.” 

“It can’t all be about me, you know,” you said. Your hand rested on the door knob, keys dangling uselessly from your fingers. 

“I know,” he said.  

Your face grew serious as you studied Noah, looking like you were still trying to figure out if he was for real. 

“Why are you doing all this?” you asked. 

Noah didn’t have an answer at the ready for you, so he simply shrugged. “Feel like it.” 

You continued to regard him. He couldn’t help when his eyes dropped to your lips—full and flushed with pink from the cold. He had a feeling he was letting his cards show, but he didn’t have much incentive to keep them hidden from you anyway. 

He brought his eyes back up to meet yours and caught the second your eyes flicked back up from his own lips. When you realized you were caught, you averted your gaze to your shoes. Noah did the same. 

“I, uh. I should get going,” he said, reaching to rub at a spot on the back of his neck. 

“Yeah,” you said, side-stepping away to break some of the tension that had been building for the last thirty seconds. You fiddled with your keys, finding the right one and using it to unlock your door, but made no move to enter. 

This was the hardest part. He didn’t want to leave. From what he could pick up, you didn’t want him to. But it was important that he did. He knew it. He wasn’t going to fuck this up by being impatient again. 

Just when he was about to say his final goodbye, you beat him to it. 

“See ya,” you said. And then in one swift motion, you grabbed the lapel of his coat, pulled him down, stood up on your toes and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

Before he even registered what had happened, you’d unlocked your door and disappeared behind it. 

It took all of Noah’s willpower not to follow you.  _______ All rights reserved to @doomhands-jr, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.

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[fanfic-obsessed]

Well Technically...

It is not often that I get an idea that includes Vader (with the genocide and horror that is implied) that makes me giggle.  This however made me giggle. 

So Vader returns to the light right before he dies and comes back as Anakin the Force ghost.  Now despite what it appears this is not a kindness.  Anakin spends decades following his kids and the galaxy at large watching how little his existence mattered (galactically Anakin Skywalker was barely more than a recognizable name, and even that was diminishing as the people who knew of the ‘hero without fear’ died off; Vader would be forgotten even more quickly because no one wanted to remember him) even as he saw the long term consequences of his life (Luke’s struggle with his own identity-both as a man and a Jedi-, Leia’s struggle with her ancestry-finding out that your blood father killed all your other available parents was not a good feeling, Reva healing from the trauma he directly caused, all the ways that Ahsoka had to reshape her own soul to patch the holes Anakin put there, the echoes of the clones that died at his hand and command and the horror of the ones that survived). He has to watch his grandson not only make his mistakes but somehow make them worse, which was something that he did not know was possible. We get all the way through the the sequels, with a heavy emphasis on Anakin watching how the consequences of his actions (particularly the slaughter of the Jedi but many of the the things he did both during the empire and during the war) while acknowledging that he is not even remembered enough to be cursed, how the galaxy has spun on, not just without him but in spite of him and he is not even a footnote. 

After Palpatine’s final, for now, death, Anakin is approached (for lack of a better term) by something shaped like Obi Wan Kenobi, circa the beginning of the clone wars. When this being speaks, it speaks with two voices at once, the Daughter and the Son. It asks if he could go back to before his Fall and change things, would he.

Anakin is sure he would, there are so many things he would do differently. 

The being says that it can send him back to just before his tipping point, where his Fall and all the evil he did became inevitable, but cannot send him back further than that.  Anakin agrees. Just before he sent back the being tells him that should his Fall become inevitable again, they would shred his mind and soul and it would be more excruciating than any pain he had ever experienced. 

Anakin, who had spent 20 years in agony, now had one(1) fear. 

Anakin “closed” his eyes in the Force, wondering when he would be sent back to (Killing Padme, Marching on the Temple, Believing Palpatine over Fives) only to open his eyes as his mother took her last breath. He was back on Tatooine, in the Tusken camp. 

Anakin was confused, this was the point of no return? He had not even thought about the Tusken camp in decades, had not truly considered them at all since Padme absolved him of their slaughter.

But this was also an Anakin that had spent decades in pain, and then decades observing. He was much more patient, by necessity if  not choice, less likely to act on violent impulse then the last time. Also the majority of his rage died in a cloud of lightning with the Emperor.  Instead of killing the Tuskens in a rage, he wept over his mother’s body in the grief he denied himself the first time. The reaction surprises the Tuskens so much (due both to the nature of Tatooine and the animosity between them and the moisture farmers they had not seen human tears of grief before) that they let Anakin take the body and leave. 

They still bury Shmi and go to rescue Obi Wan (though it does not end in a marriage this time). The War still starts but Anakin is also running around trying to fix things, including himself (and actually doing all the actual emotional work on figuring out and fixing his own issues), meditating (Frankly Obi Wan is starting to be concerned that anakin is possessed), trying to not kill anyone (because he really isn't sure what the tipping point about the Tuskens was and does not want to risk it), get the chips discovered in such a way that they do not tip off the Sith (He brings a few clones, including Fives to the temple to Spar and 'accidentally' hits Fives hard enough to knock him out and pracitcally forces Master Che do a deep enough scan), make a list of the people he killed to try and do something nice for them. At some point he decides his ‘penance’ for his life as Vader was that he would somehow bring all the currently known Sith back to the Light (including Palpatine).

In the Force, the Daughter is watching all this, her head in her hand repeating over and over ‘The point of no return was murdering children, you moron. All you have to do is not murder children’. And everything he is doing works towards that goal, but she doesn’t expect him to fix the universe (in my head it is a bit akin to asking someone to tell you an equation that use 2 and equals 4, expecting 2+2 or 2*2 but instead them confidently saying((2xSqRt(100))-40+36)/4)

The Son is watching this all with Force popcorn, this is the most entertaining thing to happen in ages. 

It is important to note that the Dark in this does not mean Evil. It means selfish, which is not the same thing.  You can be a selfish dick and still not be evil.  Mostly in this case it means that for those that inhabit the dark their priority is 1)Their own wants and needs; 2)The needs of the people they like, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience them; 3) The wants or needs of others if it benefits them in some way.  The Son was bored by what the Empire did to the Force, and he found having the Light there (and everything Anakin was doing) entertaining. 

I just keep picturing the Daughter, in the Force, exasperated with Anakin because, yes everything he is doing is good for him and the galaxy but his ONLY job is ‘don’t murder children’ and it never even occurs to Anakin that that was the only act he needed to avoid. 

[gerogerigaogaigar]

In the wake of the Drake/Kendrick beef its become clear that a lot of people here don't know what hip-hop is and/or don't know how to listen to it. Instead of dunking on people's ignorance I'd like to offer up an educational opportunity. Hip-hop can be difficult to get into if you come from an exclusively white and rock oriented upbringing. It simply listens differently than other popular music and you have to learn how to listen to it. This is honestly true of all music, but white america grows up with modern rock and pop that more or less derive their structure from tin pan alley music of the early 1900's. Hip-hop is a derivative of the 70's disco scene. Disco had an even more dance oriented feel than the funk that it spun off from. And funk was already more rhythm heavy than the Soul and Rhythm & Blues that birthed the funk scene.

Hip-hop is, first and foremost, a black artform and I am not black. So I'm not trying to position myself as a community ambassador or anything, but I do get that there are some barriers that white suburban kids face when it comes to getting into hip-hop. I also know that I am very, very into hip-hop so being a suburban white kid is clearly not an excuse for dismissing an entire artform. And racism isn't something you are it's something you do. So its time to stop talking about Weird Al and Eminem* whenever someone asks if you like rap. Right now it is time to learn how to listen.

*all due respect to eminem, he's actually really good, but we aren't talking about white rappers right now

When listening to rap one of the first things you need to pay attention to is the rapper's flow. A rapper's instrument is their voice, but unlike what you may be used to rap vocals are part of the percussion. In the songs included below, try to listen for how the vocals create a rhythmic counterpoint to the instrumentals. and listen for how rappers use rhyme as well as rhythm to create a pleasing cadence. Don't worry about what they're saying, listen to how they say it.

All Caps We start with All Caps, an absolute beast of a song. MF DOOM meets the frantic energy of the beat with a steady even flow that feels effortless. DOOM interlocks Rhyme schemes and uses matching vowel sounds throughout the verses to create the illusion that he is just dropping thoughts off the top of his head. The maneuver he pulls in the last stanza always blows my mind. making a *pop* sound to onomatopoetically match the vowel sound in pot, got, and snot while also rhyming troubles and bubbles.

A Milli Next up is Lil Wayne. Much like DOOM he can bury rhyme schemes for days, but instead of a smooth even flow he goes in bursts of frantic energy to contrast the very steady beat.

Ultimate Denzel Curry is probably one of the best in the trap scene and Ultimate is an early track where he is nailing the lazy beat, angry delivery thing. his shouted couplets overlay the trilled snare to create a texture that is actually very typical of trap music.

Izzo (H.O.V.A.) Jay-Z has a triumphant tone and a sing-songy cadence to his voice. He tends to match the percussive parts of his raps to the downbeat of the drums and it further emphasizes the strings from the Jackson Five sample and his more melodic lilting.

Bad Character You might notice that Quasimoto sounds... uh... well its Madlib with his voice pitched up. Weirdly Quas has a totally different cadence than Madlib. The timbre of his voice is so distinctive but he raps so casually. It almost feels like he is disconnected from the beat, but he's still right on it. It is a weird quirky atmosphere.

ATliens ATliens is the first song on the list with multiple rappers on it. Big Boi is a master of the straightforward 90's gangsta style while Andre 3000 has a supernatural sense for where he is on the beat that allows him to dodge and weave around it. the two of them work together by giving a back and forth between the extreme steadyness of Big Boi and the extreme wonkiness of Andre 3000.

Protect Ya Neck The Wu-Tang Clan had a lot of members and Protect Ya Neck has all of them on it. It would take forever to explain the different styles of the whole Clan so I'm just gonna let you hear it all yourself. even if you can't tell them all apart it is still pretty easy to tell when they pass the mic.

Ready Or Not Wyclef Jean and Ms. Lauryn Hill are two of the best rappers, and also Pras is here. The interpolation of soul hooks that show off Lauryn Hill's singing skills were standard for the group, but Hill could switch from singing to rapping on a dime. Even when they are rapping there is a sense of soul music underlying their music.

Life's A Bitch Another track with a laid back beat. I couldn't tell you when Nas takes a fucking breath in this song. he just goes and goes. everyone on this is so smooth.

Fix Up, Look Sharp Finally I had to get some really rowdy shit on here. Dizze Rascal's flow is so bombastic. he hits every downbeat as hard as possible and almost drowns out the steady snare-kick beat with his voice alone. Like Jay-Z he is also very sing-songy.

To Be Continued ===> Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Exactly as you are

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n well look at us meeting at part three already. Thank you so much for all of your love. And an extra thank you to @brekkershadowsinger for being my knight in shining armor and a beta reader! Love you so much!🤍

summary: when two broken souls meet something is bound to happen.

warning: mention of past trauma, anxiety, sexual assault, murder.

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The sun peaked through the open window. The sun - which was supposed to warm and bring hope did little for the coldness that lingered in the room. Kaz rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. Sleep just didn't find him tonight. And how could it be when all he heard were your cries? Screams and pleas that dragged way into the night. Kaz leaned back into the chair that he had pulled over hours ago. His gaze fell on your curled-up body, now fast asleep in his bed. His pillow beneath your head, his blanket warming up your body, his shirt clenched between your hands as you held it closer to your chest.

When Kaz had made his way back, the first person he was greeted with was Jesper. He could tell that the man was lingering. Purposely trying to wait out to catch Kaz there. Kaz thought about ignoring him, and he was going to until Jesper spoke up, "I'm sorry. You know that I am", dirtyhands spun around to face his crow. A cold, predatory gaze seeped through his eyes. Not family. Not friends. A boss and his investment, "Are you, though?" Now step away from one another, they were practically breathing at each other's throats. "Imagine that was Wylan? What would you do, Jesper? How far would you go?", Kaz barked out and turned away in an instant. Too much. Jesper had already seen too much. There had been too much. Too much was at stake. Too many people were involved.

"You love her", Jesper breathed out. "You…", but Kaz quickly turned back to him, the tip of his cane now pointed straight at Jasper's throat. "One more word, and I will rip your throat out". The warning was primal, raw, and something that deep down Jesper hoped Kaz would never actually do, but from the way, Kaz's eyes blazed and the way his hand shook ever so slightly, "Consider yourself lucky because Wylan was there if none of you would have been…", but his words died down. Choked out by that fear of losing once again. Kaz had already run through every possible scenario and every feasible way that those two could have hurt you. He needed names. Needed a reason. Now he wished he had left at least one of them alive. One of them to tell Kaz, who had been stupid enough to try to get to you when you were his. Because those faces were new to him tonight. Not prepared. He was as unprepared as the crows, and for that alone, Kaz couldn't find the strength to properly punish Jesper.

"Take Inej and sift through the docks. I need reports of all the newcomers, their names, who they work for, and why they came here. Find out who those two were", Kaz ordered, fingers running through his hair in frustration. He needed to calm down. To properly pull himself together. His emotions were too much of a giveaway that he cared. But shouldn't he? Shouldn't he care? His business might be in danger. There was a tassel in his club. His property was damaged. Who knew how much it would cost to get the blood off the floor? "Inej is upstairs with Nina looking after Y/N", Jesper muttered, and Kaz only nodded his head. "Good, go after it or go alone. I don't care".

"Kaz", you had muttered at least a thousand times since Jesper had walked in with you in his arms, shaking like a leaf. Nina dragged a wet cloth down your back, locking eyes with Inej, who was just as worried, before turning to you. "He will be here shortly, darling. Fix a couple of things, and I will be with you", she said as lightheartedly as she could, although Nina doubted if the state Kaz would come back in would help you in any way. The heartrender had suspicions. Most of the crows did. You two were almost glued to each other. And for goodness sake, who else besides you got to sit on Kaz's bed, let alone lay or sleep in it? No one. They couldn't even breathe the same air as him for longer than intended. But then there was you. And no matter when or for how long you stayed in Kaz's office, there wasn't a time when you were cursed out and pushed through the door. Together. Almost always together. Kaz's heartbeat changed first. At least that was what Nina caught onto. Maybe it wasn't affection at first, but still, you managed to alter Kaz's heart. Give strength to the beats, but lighten them at the same time.

"Kaz", you muttered your mantra, once again, big puffy eyes looking up at the two girls. Inej was a breath away from comforting you once more, but Nina cut in swiftly, changing the subject, "Let's get you out before you turn into a prune. Come, up you go", she pulls at your hands, making you stand, before wrapping a towel around your naked body. "Inej, why don't you fix a cup for all of us, huh?", but there was more behind this, and Inej could tell. Almost a silent plea to go look for Kaz. That whatever Nina was doing to keep you calm wasn't going to hold for much. She could feel it too. Slowly bubbling. Building up.

Kaz selfishly did not want to seek you out after all. Why would he? You had Nina and Inej. What would he do there? Stand and look? But then shouldn't he go up there and demand answers? Maybe the two had told you what they wanted. Because this seemed more than just a quick fuck that they were after. If that had been the case, Kaz would have been too late to stop it. Too late… Promised to protect. To keep safe. The image of you stripping in his office the first night flashed through his eyes. Kaz clenched his fist angrily. He had killed them all. Found a list of every man who had put in money to buy you off. They were begging for it to stop, but all Kaz did was repeat your name over and over to them. Dragging their deaths painfully slowly. No one knew about that. It wasn't something anyone else needed to be a part of. It was for Kaz. It was for all the rage that waked in him every time you flinched, every time his eyes caught a glimpse of your scars that painted your wrists and ankles, the torn skin on your back while you were changing, and the emptiness in your eyes.

Then Kaz heard it—the faint sound of your voice once again. His name slipped out of your lips in desperation. Calling for him. Searching for him. Kaz stood up, rushing towards the door, but then he halted. Still as a stone. He could not face you. He could not see you. Not now. Not like this. Not for everyone to see. Your voice grew louder. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz put his palms over his ears. Turning to walk to the furthest corner. Yet he still heard the way Nina was trying to soothe you. Kaz could almost see you trashing in her arms. The cries made him tightly close his eyes. He wanted to. There was nothing more that he wanted than to hold you now. To answer the call. To pull you out again, but he couldn't. There was no way.

Slow her heartbeat, make her pass out, Kaz thought to himself. Come on, Nina, be useful. And as if the heartrender had heard him, the cries died down softly. Followed by a little sob from Nina and a ray of apology slipping past her lips. The silence stood again. Kaz braced himself against the sink, catching a glimpse of his worn-out face in the mirror. Weak. Worthless. How can you protect her when you can't even go to her when she needs you the most? The anger rippled again, and without a second thought, Kaz's left fist slammed into the mirror.

The room was dim. The last remaining light source was the fire slowly dying down in the fireplace. Wylan was rubbing his hands over Jesper's shoulders. Nina was leaning onto Inej. The tea that sat in front of them had gone cold. Neither of them had touched their cups even once. It had been several hours since the last cry echoed through the house. Nina had stopped sniffling. She had never before used her ability in that way. It was one thing to make someone fall and cripple them in the middle of the job; it was a completely different story to choke the air out of the lungs of someone you cared for while watching their limp body in front of you.

Even at the thought of that, Nina's lips trembled once more. Jesper reached towards her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. Tonight had been a mess. Everyone's brains had been scattered with questions. All the ifs and whys, maybes, and whats. And with Kaz nowhere to be seen… He had made it clear to everyone that Y/N was someone that each of them had to look after. And tonight they all abandoned their posts. Sure, it was Jesper's night to keep an eye on you, but the blame couldn't be placed solely on his shoulders. They all let loose. Disappointed Kaz, but most importantly, hurt you in the process. They didn't talk about the other side of this. There was not even a thought about it that lingered. Jesper, while telling everyone about the conversation he had with Kaz, cut himself off right before the question of love was brought up. Not his to discuss. Not his to be brought to daylight.

"Why are all of you still here?", Jesper had stood up so quickly, nearly sending the little table flying, the tea cups rattling. All of them stiffened, like kids who had been caught misbehaving and now were awaiting the scolding of their parents. None dared to meet Kaz's eyes. It felt like he had brought coldness with him, as the room suddenly became almost freezing. If Kaz was being honest, he wasn't sure if he wanted them to fall over one another while they apologized or if he preferred silence. The silence that carried fear. The power he had over them.

"I gave orders to Jespere…", dirtyhands spoke once more, and Inej was quick to cut in, "He told us". Kaz nodded his head, and said, "Good. Then why are you here?" It seemed like such a simple question, but then again, what were they supposed to say? Because they wanted to see him? Because they tried to find strength in one another? Because being alone felt too vulnerable? Yet this set of silence was met with a growl from Kaz. "Go", he muttered angrily. Turning to the side so they could walk past him. "Kaz, she…", Nina started, being the first one to lift her eyes, and the coldness that pierced her made a shiver run deep within her body.

Kaz lifted his hand, silencing her. "I'll take it from here. I have unfinished business with her as it is", Nina shook her head. "Kaz", you were too weak. The demons within you had feasted on your strength. If he were to come at you Kaz-style, he would send you into yet another panic attack. But Kaz only let out a snarl, "Did I ask for your opinion?" They lowered their heads. Jesper wrapped one of his arms around Nina, bringing her closer to him, and clasped Wylan's hand in another. He glanced at Inej, who only nodded her way. Get the two settled, and then they would hit the town just like Kaz had ordered them to.

When Kaz finally made his way up to his office, he tried to pretend that you weren't lying in his bed. That he couldn't hear your breathing. When that got too hard, he tried to trick his mind into thinking that this was the usual night. Like always. He had chosen to work too late, and you had ended up falling asleep. The only difference was that on nights like that, Kaz found himself watching you. The way your face would relax. There was no sign of the slight frown that lingered then. Calm and relaxed. Comfortable enough to sleep in his presence. Now, however, Kaz tried to keep his eyes away from you. Too afraid that it would only break him more.

But the uneasy breathing was hard to miss. You let out a cry, and Kaz's eyes drifted to your frame. Only now did he notice the shimmering drops of sweat clinging to your forehead. Hands clenching the sheets. Kaz blinked again. There in your place now laid Jordie. Turning and tossing as the plague spread further and further. Kaz stood up, crossing the distance between him and the bed in a couple of steps. He ripped the gloves off his hands. The taste of bile in his mouth picked up again. What was this cruel joke? Sure, he was a bad person. Had done so much wrong, but why you? Why Jordie? What have you two done? Or was it a curse for just letting Kaz be a part of your life?

He kneeled once more. One deep breath in, and his hand came into contact with your warm forehead. Not burning up, but warm enough for a slight fever. A part of him was trying to stay rational. To get a fever after a night filled with such events was normal. It could happen, but what if this was something more? What if they had poisoned you? What if he had missed it? Kaz reached for a jug of cold water before dipping a piece of cloth in it. The moment the cold material came into contact with your skin, your eyes opened up slightly.

The fright in Kaz waked again. He wasn't ready. Wasn't prepared to see you conscious just yet. You glimpsed up at him tiredly. Body eased slightly at the sight of him. Kaz swallowed thickly. He didn't know what he wanted to say or what he should say. A part of him wanted to shout at you, but one look at your eyes, which had lit up ever so slightly at the sight of him, halted him once more.

"I'm sorry", you murmured, licking your dry lips as the uncomfortable tightness pulled at your skin. Kaz shook his head, reaching for a cup, "Nothing to be sorry about". The words had come out more sarcastic than he had wanted. As if he didn't genuinely mean it. You gave him a look. One that he had learned to identify. One that let him know that you were more than aware that he was lying. But he wasn't.

"I would do it again", he muttered, turning his gaze away from you. And he would have. As much as he tries to tell himself that he would never reach for you again, he knew deep down that it was a lie. Because he would. Because you were now a part of him. In ways that Kaz couldn't fully identify. Ways that were unfamiliar to him. He had only felt somewhat similar when it came to Jordie. Sure, Kaz cared for his crows, but that was different. You were different. Your eyes filled with tears as you watched him. You had been so desperate to apologize. Aware that you crossed the line by touching him tonight. For reaching out to him in a way that he didn't want to be reached. And here he was telling you that he would do it again. You shook your head, "No." Your voice died down. Cut off by the fear. By the lack of words spoken for a long time.

"Don't push yourself", Kaz ordered you firmly, but you jerked your head once more. He needed to know. You wanted him to know. Through your heavy, tired eyes, you looked at Kaz. You searched for him as you always did. "No one has ever touched me without bad intentions. You…", you stopped yourself as the tear ran down your cheek, stinging in your eyes getting unbearable. "You were the first who wanted to hold me without the intention to hurt me".

The sob finally slipped past your lips. You quickly moved your hand to cover your mouth. Trying to silence the cries, knowing how much Kaz hated emotions displayed like that. Kaz closed his eyes, lifting his head ever so slightly. If you hadn't crossed the line before, you sure have now. You reached for the sides of the sheets. Not waiting for him to scold you. Not ready to face him pushing you away. But Kaz was quick to snatch the side of the blanket out of your hands, pressing it down onto the bed and keeping you covered.

There was so much that Kaz wanted to say. So many words at the tip of his tongue. So many thoughts. And you knew it too. You could tell, so you settled back down. Both of you used up your emotional resources tonight. Drained yourselves dry. Yet Kaz looked at you once more. Reaching for the cloth to dip it into the cold water once more. Just this time, his palm lingered on your hair for a moment. A silent promise that he wanted to figure this out together. Step by step. No matter what was to come, you were going to do it together. Then he turned away from you once more. Pushing the rising water down. You watched him for some time until your eyes grew heavy, and the darkness pulled you under once more.

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Kazzle Dazzle taglist: @igakc @anxiousbeech @vicky-09 @coldheartedmar

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Dressed all in white (Sihtric Kjartansson x reader)

synopsis: When Sihtric and you meet life feels like a dream. Never in a thousand years could you have thougth such heaven could turn into such hell.

warnings: heavy angst, emotional manipulation, hurt/comfort but very little comfort, grief, physical violence, afab reader

word count: 3.1k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @foxyanon @sihtricfedaraaahvicius

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: This is probably one of my darker fics, so please know that it is completely okay to save this and read later if you currently aren´t in the right headspace. If you have recently lost someone close to you please know that eventhough it will suck and it is important that it sucks for a while it will get easier eventually. And if it doesn´t, counceling is always a good option imo

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

It almost felt like a dream now, thinking back to that evening. A beautiful dream you wish would have never passed. But every dream had to end sometime. The end to yours was Sihtric standing by the docks of your hometown after a months long stay, hugging you tightly as he kissed you on the forehead and promised to write as often as he could.

“Do not cry, my love. I will return to you before you know it.” It was the only consolation you got.

That and half of his lord Uthred´s crew. Amongst them, Finan. As Sihtric and you had grown closer, so had the Irish man and you, though in a far more platonic sense. Ever since that night you felt like the dream that now ended began. As you stand there, Finan´s arm around your shoulder. As you wave off Sihtric until the ship is barely a spec on the horizon, you allow yourself to reminisce about the night you all had met.

There had been word of a large group of Danes having come to town all day. No matter where you went you would become privy to whispers about the large group of men. How their leader was a Saxon raised by Danes nicknamed the Dane slayer. The rumours made your mind run wild with imagining how this Dane slayer would look like. All your brain could come up with, was the picture of a beast of a man. Tall, covered in muscles and scars with long hair and a long beard. A barbarian, in short. Which was all but not what greeted you at the tavern that evening.

Long before you set foot over the threshold you could hear the screaming and laughing and music. A big group of Danes had taken over the tavern and in the midst of them sat the Dane slayer himself, Uhtred Ragnarsson, with three of his seemingly closest men. Throughout the night there was an abundance of food and ale, men and women started dancing on the tables to the music and you were no different from them. Finding yourself pulled into a conversation with the Irish man and the Dane, shocked yet fascinated by their stories and in the end, being spun around by them to lively melody after lively melody, singing dancing and laughing until the very ungodly hours of the morning. The two men had you laughing until your tummy hurt and kept you on your feet until your legs ached. When the time came to go home, or rather to choose who to take home with you, your choice fell onto Sihtric. In hindsight you weren´t even sure why your decision fell on him, all you knew was that it was easy to decide. For some odd reason the Danes soul felt like it was calling out to you.

One night turned into many and your choice that fateful night only proved to have been the right one. Finan was sweet to you, but Sihtric was infinitely sweeter. After only a short while you had no room left in your small house for the heap of flowers that he gifted you, he never talked over you in conversation and made a point to include you as best as possible and the best thing was that he listened. He actually listened with great interest, storing each new thing he learned about you somewhere easily reachable in his brain. He was perfect, life was good for a while. If only he hadn´t followed Uhtred back to sea.

Not long after he had left, the letters he had promised to send stopped coming out of nowhere, even though he had just promised to marry you as soon as he came back.

Reams of miles away Sihtric thought and worried endlessly about the same, you had sounded beyond happy about his promise in the last letter only to then suddenly stop writing out of nowhere. That´s when he received a letter that would explain the absence of any writing in all the worst ways.

He was alone when he opened the envelope addressed to him. It´s contents talked about how he had left you behind pregnant, a fact that made his heart beat higher, the overwhelming happiness overshadowed the fact that you had not told him yourself or the absence of any communication for a moment. Only for it to end with his heart sinking into before unknown depths and his vision to veil with tears as he continued reading. There had been complications and you, as well as the child, had died. The paper is crumpled in his fist before he can read the expressions of condolences, he didn´t care for them anyway. The scream that leaves his lungs goes unregistered by his own ears, but it is heard by many others.

Little did he know that at approximately the same time a very alive and unpregnant you received a similar letter. Stating that there had been a disaster too cruel to recount to you, that there weren´t many survivors. However, Sihtric was not amongst them. Leaving behind only tear-stained nights and dreams of what could have been.

It felt like your life stopped the moment you had opened the envelope. An unending numbness filled your body. Each month you had known Sihtric converted to a year of mourning his loss and you weren´t sure what was worse. The longing and yearning for nothing more than to have him back with you under any circumstances, not talking, eating or sleeping at all or far too much. The inner coldness no matter how many layers of clothes or furs you wore, that only got worse the more the sun shone. Or realising that life had to move and allowing yourself to live again. Even in just small ways. The first time you actually ate, slept, went about your day as before, the first time Finan managed to make you laugh for the first time in what felt like forever send you spiralling all over again. But you allowed yourself to be comforted by the Irish man, who had a seemingly way easier time handling the news than you did.

“How do you do it?” You asked him one afternoon as you sat together.

“How do I do what?” Came the fairly confused question back.

“Be so fine to live on without him. Laugh. It feels like he took even the colours of the world away when he died.” You mutter the forgotten context into the room.

“Ah…” Finan makes a quiet sound of recognition, thinking deeply about his next words. “I believe it is because we all have made our piece with the fact long ago. Our lives were never quite as safe as yours, especially out on the sea, where every storm could mean the end if you are not careful.”

“Oh…” You feel stupid for your answer or perhaps even asking the question, but you didn´t know what else to say.

Silence settles over the two of you again like a stone slab.

“It is so hard to believe that he is supposed to be gone and I am still here, having to go on. He was so sweet; he did not deserve this.” Your eyes begin to burn, though you aren´t sure if it is from tears of the past or present.

“I know.” There isn´t much more Finan can answer.

“I love him so much still.” Your voice nearly gives out under the familiar knot that builds in your throat.

“I know.” Finan pulls you onto his lap, to lay your ear on his chest.

The gesture had always comforted you when you cried over the thought of Sihtric leaving one day. He had let you listen to his heart to remind you that he would always be there for you. If not in physical form, then in soul and heart.

“You need only to close your eyes and think back to this moment. Then you will know I am still with you.” Your Dane lover had rasped into your ear and for as long as you thought him alive you lived by it.

When you eventually met a new man, you couldn´t help but to compare him to Sihtric and find he was different in so many ways. Naturally. He was still nice and caring and funny, but even the beating of his heart was different to Sihtrics. Not only because it was there, but the rhythm it drummed against his ribcage was fundamentally so contrasting. The way his arms wrapped around you felt different and you have to confront the fact that things would never feel the same. Yet over time the strong, vibrant pulse began to drown out the steady beat you fell in love with. And so, when you allowed for people to enter your heart again, the wish of being able to be okay with living became a wish to share your life more intimately with the man than before. After all, he had made every effort possible to make you as happy as his former crew mate would have. And though you had sworn to only ever love one man, you were overjoyed when the man proposed to you. Or at least that was how you interpret the way your own heart, which had thawed entirely only shortly ago, beat a few deep pulses before returning to normal. The ceremony is arranged to be held by father Beocca at your future husbands house, your friends help you into the dress, braid flowers into your hair and do their best to calm your nerves and dry your tears. But still when it is time to leave for the ceremony, you are unsure if you are truly ready.

At approximately the same time a boat arrives at the docks. On it Uhtred, Sihtric and the rest of the crew. It had been so long, yet seeing the town made Sihtric´s throat tighten as memories of you flood his mind. He had almost obsessively studied the last letter containing information of your status and it had been too painful to return. But Uhtred was right. He couldn´t let that hurt take control over his life. So now he found himself wandering through the greenfield the two of you had spent so much time laying close, talking about everything and nothing all the same. The tavern you met at. Even just the town square and lastly… your home. Where, if it hadn´t already, all the colour would have drained from the Dane´s face. It felt like a hallucination at first. One that took away his voice and nearly made him fall to his knees. The desperation for the moment to be real wore him down as if someone had slit open his stomach, put boulders into it and sewed it shut again. He stumbles and almost falls multiple times, calling your name until you turn to see him.

“Sihtric…” You whisper and slap a hand over your mouth, getting the attention of the women surrounding you. The bouquet in your hands falls to the ground in favour of them grabbing and lifting the skirt of your dress to pull it up out of the way of your feet. The whispers around are drowned out by a high-pitched ringing in your ears and without having to think about it, your feet carry you towards the only man you ever loved.

Once his arms wrap around you it is like something shakes the fundament of the earth. The world becomes more colourful again, air fully fills your lungs for the first time in forever and the tears that burn in your eyes are for once uncoined by grief, yet the sense of longing, that had plagued your soul for so long, prevailed. The scent of wet wood and musk fills your nose, followed by the comforting undertones of honey and black pepper to soothe your mind.

“You are real…” Sihtric is the one to speak first.

“The much more pressing question here is how you are alive?” You answer, leaning back in his arms to look at his face as your hands cup his face. Even feeling the skin under your finger pads couldn´t completely convince you that this moment was real.

“Me? How are you still alive?” Sihtric´s eyebrows knit together tightly, the frown on his lips deepening further in confusion.

By now a small cluster of people had collected, watching the reunion and whispering behind their hands a small distance away. In search of an answer, you turn to them, hoping to find your future husband, so he could give an explanation, but he seemed to still wait inside. Unaware of what was going on. Unaware of what was going to happen soon.

“Me? You were the one that stopped writing first. And then I got a letter that said… It said that you...” It´s too hard to actually say the words, but Sihtric understands nevertheless.

He is just about to say something, when the door to your home opened and Finan stepped out, assumingly to look where you were, eyes widening at the sight of his friend. Yet there is no time for any more reunion feelings, as the Irish man is closely followed by your husband to be.

Sihtric´s eyes widen in understanding before yours do and you have a hard time holding him back, but the men just have too much strength. The Dane lands a hard punch in the man´s face, splitting his lip with his knuckles and drawing some blood. There are screams heard from the crowd and immediately a handful of men have to pull them apart before anything worse happens.

“Stop it! Stop it this instant you two!” You scream repeatedly at the top of your lungs, yet it still takes a while until the spirits have been calmed enough to at least have the two men not struggle against the men parting them anymore.

However, there is no way to get an explanation from anyone as they continue to scream at each other from a distance. Spouting insults that you had never heard before in your life.

Then Sihtric silences everyone with three powerful yet simple words. “Make the square!”

There are protests from several of the men, but in the end, everything goes all too fast. You are frozen to the ground you are standing on, so Finan pulls you aside. Sihtric presses a kiss to your lips and mutters a promise that your brain is unable to register. All you can focus on is the weapons being drawn. Your brain doesn´t even register the hot tears that stream down your cheeks and stain the fabric of the dress. The first sound of the blades meeting each other, has you burying your face in Finan´s chest, resounding in your ears horrifically. You can´t stand to watch most of it, shaking and flinching with every sound of blades clashing or pained scream. You have to force yourself to watch eventually when you can´t deal with the anxiety and uncertainty anymore. Frantic eyes searched for Sihtric. Finding him, covered in dirt, blood and panting, but still standing and to your relief with a good chance at winning. Though you don´t allow yourself to cheer like the others yet. There is still too much shock in your bones, too many unresolved questions plaguing your mind. You manage to get so caught up in your thoughts, that you only come to, when the fight seems to be close to over. Luckily in favour of your one true love, which now stands above the man you were about to marry, a dagger you hadn´t noticed the Dane carrying before, to his throat. From the distance you can see the raw fear in the man´s widely opened eyes and rapidly rising and sinking chest, clawing at the Danes wrist to get him to let go of the weapon to no avail. That fear quickly morphs to relief, exhaled in a deep breath and relaxing facial features, when Sihtric puts the dagger into the ground beneath his head, the blade sticking out upright. Only to morph back into the purest horror just as quickly as before, when the first fist swiftly comes down onto his face. A crack can be heard when the knuckles make contact with the bridge of the nose, thus breaking it without even batting an eye.

Air suddenly floods your lungs in a gasp at the cracking sound, but silently find yourself cheering on your one true love more and more as time passes. Your own body doesn´t listen to you anymore. Your eyes are dead focussed on the sight of his fist making contact with the face over and over and over again, even long after the resistance had stopped and he had clearly won as his opponent’s face was nothing more than bloody pulp. It was gruelling, haunting to see, but your head would have refused to turn away even if you had wanted it to. So, you continue watching and watching and watching until it becomes glaringly clear that Sihtric is not going to stop anytime soon. You aren´t the only one to have that realisation, it glimmers in Finan and Uhtred´s eyes as well. The two men pull their friend off the lifeless body and you are by his side in an instant. Cupping his face in your firm, but gentle hands, your eyes searching his until they make contact and in the corner of your field of vision you see the way his chest rises slow down.

“You have to stop now. It is over.” You urge him in a sore voice falling to your knees in front of him. “You won. It is over now.”

The Dane looks deep into your eyes, allowing your voice and words to soothe him, yet the anger took the ability to think clearly or speak from him still. Finan and Uhtred let him go and you can fall into his arms again without a care in the world about the pristine, white dress becoming dirty as well. All that matters is feeling Sihtric in your arms now as you keep murmuring to him. His entire body starts to tremble under the familiar touch and so does yours. You squeeze your eyes shut and pull him in tighter. You have trouble believing your own words. It doesn´t entirely feel over yet. Fear still gnaws on your heart, that he could vanish from your hold to leave behind nothing but a cloud of smoke and the pain of being awoken from yet another dream tricking you into thinking things hadn´t resolved in your favour. Fear that it was real, but he would be taken from you one day once more. The two of you likely couldn´t be further from having won. Or else, you think, the tears that now flow freely down both your faces to wet the others clothes wouldn´t be so bitter.

[nerdestiwrites]

predator and prey, chapter two (hazbin hotel reader insert)

The trip to the less than three star looking hotel had been a rather uneventful one, which was more than what most people hoped for in a day in Hell. It had just been less than a full twenty four hours since the announcement of the accelerated deadline of the next Extermination and the streets were filled with sinners freaking out and causing chaos, doing every sin possible. That wasn’t any different than any other day, but it seemed to even bring out those who seemed to have more self control than others. 

The hotel itself wasn’t inspiring but you’ve lived in worse and had friends that lived in worse so you weren’t going to complain. Rent was expensive, especially in Hell, and you couldn’t imagine the cost for any building to own. Being the princess of Hell seemed to have it’s perks, but even perks had downsides.

You walked up the hill towards the looming hotel, your eyes scanning over the exterior as your head tilted to the side briefly. A ship seemed to have been embedded into the framework of the hotel itself and there was an eyesore of a radio tower hanging off the roof of it, and if you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t entirely sure how one entered the radio tower. 

Stopping at the front door, you took in a sharp breath as you lifted your hand to knock. The sounds of arguing from inside made you hesitate for just a moment, were you supposed to knock? It was a hotel after all, you never knocked on a hotel’s door before when you were living, was it different because it was Hell? Or because it was the Princess’? 

Before you could think of the different cultural differences there might be you haven’t experienced yet, you walked through the doors, opting out of knocking. You smiled brightly, putting on a perfect customer service persona you learned quickly got you better tips when you served back when you had been alive. “Hi!” You said excitedly, giving a small wave. 

Inside the main area of the room, the lobby you would’ve called it, stood three people. Two were standing near a couch, both now staring at you in shock, one with excitement speckled in, and the third behind a bar that looked out of place considering the rest of the decor of the interior of the hotel. The blonde raced forwards and pulled your hand into her own, shaking it enthusiastically, a wide smile on her face. You shook back, just as enthuisastically, meeting her energy, best have a good impression.

“Hi! I’m Charlie!” She explained as she let go of your hand, seeming to be vibrating with excitement at your presence within the hotel. She motioned the other to approach, who did and seemed to eye you suspiciously. 

You in turn say your name and glanced around the lobby once more. “I saw just the brief start of your commercial- didn’t really get to see all of it with the interruption of the news. But I figured I’d come check it out, is that okay?” 

Charlie nodded quickly and motioned for you to step further into the lobby, motioning around as she spun, “Of course! This is the Hazbin Hotel! Our goal here is to take sinners and rehabilitate them so they might get a chance at redemption and go to Heaven!” 

That certainly was something. A chance at redemption, you hadn’t even thought of that as a possibility. Once you realized you were in Hell, you figured that was it, that you’d always be in Hell, unless killed. A chance to go through the pearly gates and maybe see your family again had completely left your mind. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to go to Heaven, with your plan and all. 

It was clear from the look on the others face that it hadn’t yet been proven to even actually happen yet, that this whole thing was just a new concept they were attempting. It was noble, to say the least, to try and save the souls who had been condemned for eternity only to be killed again. You still weren’t sure what happened when a soul was killed for a second time. Was there a super hell? A second afterlife? Would it really be worse than Hell? 

Charlie grabbed your attention from your thoughts as she motioned towards the person standing next to her. “This is Vaggie, and over there is our bartender Husk! This is the parlor where we’ll be doing our daily activities to try and reform sinners, everyone will have a room of their own, and somewhere around here is Nifty our house keeper and Alastor is out for the day but he’s usually here as well.”

That caught your attention. Alastor, the Radio Demon, who had been missing for seven years, was here at the hotel meant to redeem souls. So, he wasn’t dead then, and seemed to be playing house with the princess of Hell. Perhaps he had a similar idea as you did, get close to the princess in hopes of earning favor with her. You made a low hum, keeping your surprise to yourself. “I’m not entirely sold on the whole redemption thing just yet… After all I haven’t even been in Hell for a year yet. There’s still so much I haven’t seen.” You joked, giving a half smile.

At your words you could see Charlie deflate slightly, the excitement and enthusiasm dying down slightly. She however nodded, not intending to try and force you to stay if you didn’t want to. She stared at you momentarily before giving another smile, still warm, still welcoming. The princess seemed like a good soul, someone who definitely didn’t deserve to be in Hell, cursed to be due to who her parents were. 

“I’m gonna think about it though. So if I’m back in a few days, don’t be surprised.” You continued as you took a step forwards, grabbing Charlies hand, and shaking it gently.

She returned the gesture, shaking your hand back before letting go. “Yes- yes of course! I’ll make sure Nifty gets a room cleaned up fo ryou, just in case. And don’t even worry if you decide against it, I’m sure we’ll have more people wanting to be redeemed at any moment.” 

You could hear the confidence in her voice, you could see it plastered across her face, her motivation and thrive to redeem those around her, save them, it reminded you of your younger siblings. And the reminder that they were still alive, or at least you hoped they were still alive, up on Earth, having had to go to your funeral, mourn you, caused a grief you hadn’t expected to feel. You never even thought about how they might be doing until just then. 

“Right-” You cleared your throat to ensure it didn’t crack at the sudden wave of emotions hitting her chest, the hurt wrapping around your heart. “Well, good to hear I’ll have a room! Hoping for little chocolate mints on my pillow and free shampoos.” Joking was a good coping mechanism and defense mechanism. Distracting from yourself and keeping the mood lighthearted. 

“I do have to go though, thank you for talking with me and telling me about the hotel though!” You waved as you turned quickly to leave the hotel, not giving the residents a chance to respond to your departure. You needed to be alone, you dealt with your emotions best alone. That didn’t change just because you were dead and in Hell. 

The journey home was one that you barely could remember, too stuck in your thoughts to pay any attention to your environment around you. That would normally have been incredibly dangerous, to walk down the streets of Hell without any perception of what was going on around you, but even demons who had half a mind seemed to see that bothering you in that moment wouldn’t end well for them. 

The first time in just under a year you felt homesick. The first time in just under a year you missed your little siblings. You missed your friends, your pets, fuck, you missed your pets. They wouldn’t have even understood the reason you never came home that night. They would’ve thought you just abandoned them- that you didn’t want them anymore. You hoped beyond hope that your roommates, your parents, someone took them in. 

You made it to your small apartment, that just this morning you would’ve called home, but now it felt empty and cold. You stared from the doorway, imagining how things could’ve been different, how you could still be alive, what you could be doing if you were still alive. It was a good thing you didn’t have this spiral when you first arrived in Hell, who knows what might’ve happened. 

A text tone snapped you out of your stupor and you glanced down at the phone in your hands, the screen brightness burning your eyes in contrast to your dark apartment. It was from Velvette but your brain wasn’t processing what she had sent. You blinked a few times as your eyes narrowed, seeing a picture of Valentino seemingly having a full blown meltdown over something, the picture capturing a moment of mid throwing some poor soul across the room. 

You: hate him. Want to grab a drink?

Getting out of your dark lonely apartment seemed like a good idea, and being alone seemed better. You enjoyed hanging out with Velvette but knew that with her busy schedule of being apart of the Vs and an overlord it was rare for just the two of you to hang out. Especially since your friendship was still hidden from the other Vs, and Vox seemed to have cameras everywhere. 

Velvy: got an hour left here in the studio

Velvy: meet at HornPub?

You: be there

You turned, opened the door, and stepped out back onto the streets of Hell, heading down to the small bar that was uncreatively named. A drink or ten was exactly what you needed to get your mind off of the what ifs and hypotheticals. You knew you were going an hour early, two hours as you knew Velvette had the habit of running late, but you figured you’d get a headstart and maybe pull in a few deals, gain a few more favors owed while waiting and drinking. And, who better than to vent to than the bartender. It was like therapy but you could get drunk at the same time.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 29 - Weapon

@jegulus-microfic March 29 Word count 926

Previous part First part

They stayed in the pool for a while, relaxing, washing the stresses of the last few weeks away. They had destroyed the Horcruxes, and now all that was left was the man himself. 

“Don’t you think that was all a little too easy?” Lily said to the group. “Shouldn’t there have been more of a fight from the Horcruxes or a swarm of Death Eaters descending on us?” The rest of the group began to look worried and spun their heads to peer into the gloomy forest. Barty, though, seemed cool as can be. 

“Na,” He grinned, head lolling back onto the bank as his eyes slid shut. “The reason they weren’t properly protected and were relatively easy to find is because old Mouldy Voldy is an—”

“Arrogant bastard!” They all chanted together in a dull monotone, cutting him off. 

“Exactly!” Barty snickered. “He assumes he is the most intelligent wizard of his age. He didn’t think anyone would figure out that he’d made the Horcruxes, so he didn’t bother putting any effort into concealing them. He gave the cup and the diary to Bella and Lucy, thinking their fear of him would make them put them in Gringotts, but forgot to factor in their need to show off. He’s completely underestimated everyone below him. The only wizard he thinks of as a peer is Dumbledore, and Dumbledore isn’t searching for Horcruxes, so why would anyone else? And I bet the only reason the Locket was harder to get than the rest was because he’s only just made it before he hid it in the cave where muggles might have walked into. Plus, with the amount of times, he’s fractured his soul and the amount of physical change his body had gone through because of it, I doubt he even felt them being destroyed.” He opened his eyes when the others didn’t say anything. “What?” He questioned. 

“Barty, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so many sensible words in one go, ever,” Regulus said incredulously. 

“I think he’s right, though,” Evan said, glancing around to see what the others thought. 

“Weirdly, it does actually make sense.” Remus agreed. 

When they’d had enough, they exited the pool, dried, dressed, and left the forest. 

“You did amazing, you know,” James told Regulus as they walked through the undergrowth. “I’m so proud of you.” James took Regulus’s hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. Regulus felt lighter than he had since before he’d left Hogwarts. They might actually be able to finish this and survive. 

They cast disillusionment charms on themselves just as they reached the edge of the forest and felt the change in the air as they walked through the anti-apparition wards. 

Hogsmeade looked exactly the same as usual. Perhaps Barty was right. Maybe no one knew what they’d managed to do. Then, a familiar figure appeared, walking away from Honeydukes with a bulging bag.

Someone pushed past Regulus and ran forward. 

“Who was that?” He asked urgently, unable to see who wasn’t beside him anymore. 

“Sirius!” Remus croaked. Together, they moved forward in the direction Peter had headed. Regulus spotted the plump man turning a corner and totally disappearing. 

“Sirius!” He hissed as he closed the gap. “Sirius!”

“I’ve got him!” Sirius’s voice came out of thin air. 

“Can you apparate with him?” He asked hurriedly. Sirius didn’t say anything. “Sirius, I can’t see if you nodded your head.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Oh yeah, sorry. But yes, I can apparate us both.”

“Good, get him back to Evan’s. We’ll deal with him later. Remus and I need to get back to Grimmauld.” He turned in the direction he guessed everyone else was standing. “Evan, have you got somewhere secure you can keep him that’s secure?”

“Yes, fathers got a cell in the basement.” Evans's bodiless voice answered. 

“Okay, everyone else, go back to Rosier House. Remus and I will meet you there when we can get away. James, you’ve got your mirror, don’t you?”

“Yes,” James said, his voice closer than Regulus had expected. 

“Right, let’s go.” He spun, and he was one street over to Grimmauld Place. He removed the disillusionment charm and apparated again outside number 12 at the same time that Remus did. 

“Ah, Son, you’re home!” Orion greeted them as they walked through the door. “Your Mother’s in the drawing room awaiting your return.” Reluctantly, Regulus followed his father up to where his mother waited.

“Regulus,” Walburga greeted. “I assume you’re lead was fruitful?” He’d practised what to say in case she asked, so the words came easily. 

“Yes, Maman. Unfortunately, he slipped through our fingers like the slippery creature he is. I did manage to knick him with Bella’s blade, but he was gone before I could do any real damage.” Walburga held out her hand. It took Regulus a second to realise what she wanted. Carefully, he pulled the weapon from his robes and handed it over. 

“Did you clean this blade?” She asked, eyes narrowing. 

“Yes, Maman.” She waved her wand over it and muttered a spell that Regulus couldn’t quite hear. A blood-red ghostly figure which resembled Sirius rose from the tip of the dagger. Walburga ended the spell and handed it back. 

“The Dark Lord will not be pleased by your failure.” She said, dismissing him. 

“We will try again in the morning. We will not fail the Dark Lord.” He bowed before leaving the room. He smirked as he climbed the stairs to his bedroom. They’d definitely find Sirius again tomorrow.       

Next part

[doctorcrowleywho]

Midnight Dances (10th Doctor x Gn! Reader)

Midnight Dances (10th doctor x gn! reader)  

Word count -   1753  

Warnings - tons of fluff with angst sprinkled in

Pairing(s) - 10th doctor x Gn! Reader

Summary - You show The Doctor a few new moves

Never travel alone. That was the one piece of advice The Doctor always seemed to get. But, no matter how hard he tried he always lost everyone. Some would call him a hero, others a villain. He would call himself a lost cause, a soul floating alone in the wide universe desperate for a friend. 

He never viewed his past companions in a negative light. For him, they sparkled like diamonds in the Gallifrey suns. Only to be tarnished by the sadness that seemed to wash over him if he sat and thought about them for too long. 

Especially Rose, always Rose. She was one of the special ones. The one that saw him for who he truly was and still choose to stay and even love him. Gods did he truly love her. She was everything to him, and that’s why it pained him so badly to say goodbye and that's why he’d never let something like that happen again. At least not if he could help it. 

The Doctor needed a break, he needed to go somewhere where he wasn’t a walking hazard to everyone around him. Where ever he went trouble always seemed to follow, and he wanted to desperately avoid that this time. He wanted to live up to his name this time around and actually do some good (at least good in his eyes).

So, he sent the Tardis to 14th-century England. The good old renaissance period! He wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting when it came to showing up in this period. If anything he’d just walk around watching the humans as they were a little more native during this period, and maybe even eat one of those big turkey legs. He always wondered how humans were able to simply eat a turkeys leg that big. But, that's humans for you - always finding new ways to eat things. 

With a small hum, he parked the Tardis in a discreet corner and trudged around the town square. A tiny shadow of a smile began to tug at his lips as he let his eyes wander around the town. The hustle and bustle of it all warmed his heart. Slowly but surely he spun around trying to get the full effect of everything that was happening around him. 

Sudden music lit up the town as he walked deeper into the heart of the square and everyone seemed to happily join in on the fun. Respectfully he kept his distance from it all. He wanted to watch for now instead of interrupt things. However, that plan was practically destroyed when he saw you.

You were in the center of what looked like to be a dance circle. Spinning, dancing, and clapping to your heart's content. The Doctor felt both his hearts melt at the same time and knew he was truly in for it now.  

Without even realizing it he began to walk closer to the action, or if he was being truthful- closer to you. You were like the warmest bit of sunshine the universe had to offer, and he was freezing to death. The simple sight of you was enough to grip him by his wacky tie and pull him deep down for a wild ride he had no idea he signed up for. 

Whilst you were dancing you couldn’t help the smile that graced your features. You weren’t relatively sought after on any other normal day. Being the daughter of the village's flower seller didn’t come with any amazing dowry. However, when you danced during the festival heads turned. You secretly adored the attention, any person surely would. 

However, this night was different and you couldn’t put your finger quite on why. Until you saw him. The tall handsome stranger that seemed to only have eyes for you. He wore the strangest clothes you had ever seen. But, they seemed to fit him rather well. Your eyes mainly wanted to focus on his deep brown chocolate eyes and the messiest hair you’d ever seen. 

As he seemed to get closer and closer to you, you reached out your hand silently asking for a dance. The whole world seemed to stop as he slowly glanced down at your hand and then back up to your eyes. His right eyebrow rose up almost to ask if you truly meant it. To this, you nodded and noticed the sweetest gentle smile that rose to his lips upon seeing this. 

Even The Doctor, the oncoming storm, couldn’t deny nor fight the spark that rose within him when he finally took your hand in his. Excitedly, you practically dragged him into the center and let the music move your feet. Both of The Doctor’s heart’s raced against his chest as you lead him in a semi-traditional dance. His eyes were glued to your feet desperately trying to save you from the pain of him accidentally stepping on you. 

You, however, would not settle for this. Gently you stopped and took his chin in your fingers lifting his head up to meet yours again. With the warmest smile on your face you took one of his hands and guided it to your waist, and helped the other up with your hand. Lacing his fingers with yours, which seemed to make the entire universe halt to a standstill. 

“Ready?” He said taking the biggest breath his lungs could manage.

“Always,” you replied with an eager grin on your face.

“Well in that case,” he paused for dramatic effect (time lords were drama kings but you knew this already) “, ALLONS-Y!” He cheered along with the crowd.

This was when he truly let loose, showing you exactly what he was made of. Each giggle that escaped your lips only pushed him further as he skipped with you throughout the dance circle. Lifting you high into the air, you practically felt like you were flying. When he did bring you back to earth, you could feel yourself slowly fall in love. You two spun and twirled, and he even managed a few dips in there. 

“And here I thought you weren't a dancer!” You giggled as he spun you in a lift, that giggle being music to his ears. 

“Well, you know what they say…. You have dancing shoes with nimble shoes. I have a soul of lead.” he spoke fast trying to brush over the fact that what he said hit too close to home, and that he just ripped off a future playwright.

The evening seemed to fly by with the brightest colors. You and The Doctor were stuck to each other like paper and glue, and neither of you wanted to leave the other's sight. You showed him everything your small English town had to offer, and he even got to impress you by buying you whatever you wanted from the local vendors.  

“Wait so you’re saying you’ve never had a turkey leg?” You over dramatically gasped as you stared at him with wide eyes. In which he swore he could see stars.

“Yep!” he said popping the ‘p’ “What is that so hard to believe?” He raised an eyebrow trying to keep a serious expression. But, that was proven impossible by what happened next.

You shoved a turkey leg into his hands as you looked up expectantly. “Yes it is, try it!” You sassed not leaving him any room to question you. Well here went nothing. The things people (and timelords) did when falling in love right? Closing his eyes he bit into it, and surprisingly it wasn’t…the worst. In fact, it was far from it. “Oh my goodness this is brilliant! What legs will you humans think of eating next?” he chuckled shaking his head as he prepared himself for another bite.

There you stood utterly bewildered by the fact that this man in front of you could look at life with as much excitement and joy as you did. But, perhaps that’s because he called you lot humans instead something…..normal. Which, should have worried you more than it did. Maybe all you needed was a man from the stars to truly understand you, to whisk you away to far-off places, and help you never return again. But, that was just wishful thinking. 

As the night came to a close you couldn’t help but feel a bit sad at the fact that you might never see this handsome stranger ever again. But, perhaps that’s all you were ever meant to be. Just two passing ships in the night.  

You two walked aimlessly back to the center of town where it all began, and The Doctor paused for a brief moment. Thinking that what he was going to say next he might regret in the future, but he had to let his hearts try. At least one last time. 

“So, listen tonight was great…fantastic even and I was-”

“Doctor listen if you’re trying to let me down easy, just tell me I’m used to it by now.” you cut him off nervously and his eyes widened. 

“What no! I was wondering if you’d like to come back to my erm…box I’d love to show you something.” Once that sentence left his lips he inwardly cringed, that never EVER came out right. 

Your face scrunched up hearing this “Show me something….in your box?” you asked awkwardly. So, he was crazy. Leave it to you to fall in love with the crazy visitor. 

“It’s about as weird as it sounds, but trust me it’ll blow-oh just come with me.” he huffed taking your hand in his once more and tugging you towards his Tardis. 

Jokingly, you rolled your eyes finding it hard to keep up with him at times. “Well, Allons-y then.” you teased repeating him from earlier that night. 

Upon seeing the strange blue box your suspicions were only raised. At least he wasn’t lying about the box part. Your eyes flicked back and forth between The Doctor and the box. A soft grin lay on his face as he opened the door. 

“Please you first,” he said holding the door wide open for you. 

Sighing, you swallowed your courage and walked into The Doctor’s box not even slightly prepared for what you were about to see. 

Your eyes widened as you danced around the center console room trying to grasp what exactly was happening. 

What fell out of your lips was The Doctors absolute favorite part of gaining a new companion. “It’s bigger on the inside!” you gasped. 

The Doctor smiled.

[itstheghostofmypast]

Simp For You

Five x (f)Reader

Genre: Angst + Fluff

Requested by: @imherefortea (birthday request)

Summary: Perhaps she had read one too many novels and classics, while romance was not part of the agenda, a hero was, one that would bring her a bouquet every morning, sing to her every night and love her for eternity. Emotions and love were mere signs of weakness, or at least qualities upheld by fools- Five Hargeeves was no fool, both logic and rationality were his tools, yet, for her, neither functioned properly. Yet, neither were willing to let up their beliefs nor were the two willing to let up on one another.

Word Count: 6k+

The thing with feelings and emotional representation were not attributes Five was against, but he felt the need not to express them to or for anyone. Especially since he had decided to travel back in time to proceed with saving the world- the only addition to his plan was Y/N, someone he had met back at the commission.

Although their first encounter was not when he had noticed her, in fact, he pretty much ignored her- not intentionally, but because she was part of the insignificant, someone who was just supposed to correct the timeline and hand him the files- do all his paperwork.

On the other hand, Y/N was unable to 'ignore' him, for the encounter that he considered as their first meeting was not their first meeting for her actually. In fact, before him being introduced to Y/N by the Handler, the girl had been saved by him a few days back, as such;

Today had been a shitty day at the commission, more paperwork, more mistakes to correct, more bad coffee- ew just ew, her entire day was ew. Not the best choice of adjectives but it was true, to top it all off, as she was walking to her residence -a cozy little apartment a few miles away from the Commission building- it began to rain. No, mother nature had perhaps tipped a bucket load of ice-cold water on her. Maybe it was the screams of the falling droplets or her blurred vision, but she was unable to hear the blaring horns of the bus driving right at her as she crossed the street. Much like every animal, she remembers freezing and staring at the bright white lights waiting for the angel of death to pull out her soul before the immense pain could hit her system. Fortunately for her, a second before she made contact with the metallic giant a flash of blue blinded her, after which she felt like she was being spun at unimaginable speed. 

"You okay?" Her eyes snapped open at the stranger's -good-looking stranger's- voice. She could sense an undertone of concern in his question, though his expressions showed more anger than concern of any kind. Perhaps because she was still in his arms and had shown no signs of moving.

"I- Uh-"

"I don't have time for this." he sighed before setting her down, patting his coat and looking around, "Try to look both ways while crossing the road, and oh- the pavement is used by pedestrians, not the damn road." with that and a flash of blue he was gone, leaving an everlasting impression on her. This was technically how they had met, not that he remembered, she believed he just needed her to remind him, he was a clever man after all. 

Unfortunately, even after THREE YEARS of working with the dunce he had not even batted an eyelash at her, let alone have a whole ass conversation. No hint, no comment, no compliment, nothing had made him even glance up at her from the paperwork she handed him before every mission. By the end of the third year, she had practically given up, he was no knight in shining armor sent to pull her away from her mundane life, he was not her Zorro or Hercules- three years of simping after a man who probably doesn't know her name gone down the drain, what a waste.

Perhaps that was what fate was waiting for all along, for her to stop trying. 31st December, New Year's Eve, a night where everyone gathers around, parties hard, does questionable things in the name of celebration, and often wakes up hungover the next day- starting the new year right. Y/N however, was never made for such loud parties or rowdy crowds because they were annoying and just stupid and she had no one to share her new year's kiss with- there it's been said, and honestly as pathetic as it may sound, it was the truth, the haunting thought that would linger at the back of her mind, but on occasions like these, it would come prancing forward to knock on her door every few hours. 

Metaphorically speaking, or so she thought because when there was an actual knock on the door, she glanced at the clock, 10.59 PM- she wondered if she had attracted a murderer to her apartment. Placing the bowl of raw cookie dough on the coffee table and pausing a rerun of her favorite sitcom she pulled on her cardigan, shivering at the cold air that her blanket had been protecting her from for the past few hours.

Opening the door she came face to face with what an author could describe as the most 'annoyed' face in the world. Five Hargreeves in the flesh, standing there in all his suit-cladded glory, frowning at her, eyes boring a form of annoyance that could scare off just about anyone, but she wasn't just anyone. She was his filer, his desk worker, his partner- which was exactly why when he found a mistake in the file she had left at her desk for him, he decided to go ask the slacker if she would prefer to quit herself or have him report her to the Handler.

"Mind explaining this?" he slams the file in her chest, as she caught with an uff, "Thought you were better than the rest of the slackers," huffing he stuffed his hands in his pockets, before looking around at the apartment's door frame then the corridor then peaking over her head as she read the file, into her apartment- simpleton. He thought to himself before glancing back at her, watching her mumble to herself as she read each line, her eyebrows knitted together as she licked her bottom lip, a habit of hers, something she'd do when she was concentrating. The first time he had noticed it, he had thought she was flirting with him, much like the many other desk freaks did, which led him to turn even colder to her, only to realize after a while that this was a habit, rather than an antic to get into his pants. Nonetheless, he was still irritated by her carelessness-

"Umm...Mr.Hargreeves."

"What?" 

"Where did you get this file from?" She asked, totally confused.

"From your desk. You left it for me there-"

"No...I didn't, you had no missions for today and...I took an off today, did you not...notice?" she trailed off at the end with a defeated sigh, handing the file back to him, and giving him a tight-lipped smile.

"Why would I notice that- who put it on your desk then?"

"Probably the person who wrote it." sighing, arms crossed she leaned against the doorframe.

"What-"

"Not that you noticed the change in writing style either, this was written by Beatrice." She motioned towards the file, "It's in a faded beige file and it's typed in black ink. I type in blue ink and use black files or envelopes unless we're sending it to you through the pipes. My guess is she had a date with her field agent, considering he does know she exists and thought of putting it on my desk, knowing you'd probably pick it up and the train engineer is supposed to have a heart attack before the express mail train slams into the other upcoming one, he doesn't fall asleep. If I'm correct you or well Brian- Beatrice's field agent was supposed to induce a heart attack, enabling the tragedy of Ogden, Utah to occur." 

"Oh." was all he could manage to say.

"Indeed, Oh." with that she straightened up and nodded at him, "Happy New Year, Mr.Hargreeves." before closing the door, only to be stopped by his hand as he pushed it open. 

"Wait, but what about- you need to come to the Commission and file this correctly."

"What? No, are you kidding me?"

"Clearly, I am not, the timeline is important-"

"Not really, time is irrelevant here." She shrugged, "And anyway, it's her file, her fault, just slap it back on her desk and-"

"I'm not asking, I'm telling ya!" He snapped at her, causing her to flinch, biting her lip to hold back the rush of emotions, she had never imagined him using such a tone with her, let alone yelling at her. She took a small step back, shaking her head slightly, staring at the floor, the angelic, god-like image of him shattering in her mind. Not only did he not recognize her work, but also thought she'd make such a mistake, and he had the nerve to come up to her apartment and yell at her.

"What is the matter with you?" he groaned, checking his wrist watch, "We don't have much time-"

"What's my name?" she muttered, catching him off guard.

"What?"

"I said, do you know my name?" she asked, tears threatening to fall at any given moment as she glared at him through glassy eyes.

"What is the point of that question, of course, I know your name, it's -" he paused, thinking to himself before shaking his head at something and blinking away with a flash. 

Sighing in defeat she finally closed the door and went back to her couch, wrapping herself in the warm, heavy blanket. Three years of working together, of writing his reports for and after the mission, adding a small 'tips' section and sometimes maps of areas he could rest or eat at just because she thought that's what a good partner would do- three years of time wasted on a partner who didn't even bother learning her name.

Jolting awake at the sound of something falling followed by a hiss she fought off the blanket that had somehow put her in a chokehold. Finally managing to push it off she gasped for air, only to lock eyes with forest green hues, emitting a, "WHAT THE F***"

"Happy New Year to you too."

"WHY ARE YOU HERE- DID YOU EAT ALL THE COOKIE DOUGH?"

"Well, I came to tell you I had to file the report myself, no thanks to your stubborn ass and complained about Barbra or whatever."

"What-"

"Also, Y/N, what kind of fool do you take me for?" He asked, sitting crossed as he side-eyed her while watching TV.

Frowning at his question she scooted further into the corner of the couch, "So ya read my name of the file-"

"No you desk worm. I've known your name since day one." He sighed, turning to look at her cocooned form, feeling somewhat guilty as trailed off, "Just didn't realize how useful those tips were."

Her ears perked up at that little compliment, instantly threw off the blankets, and stood on the cold floor, hands resting on her hips as she let out a smug huff, "Well then, guess we learned something today, didn't we?"

"That you're a lonely worm? I already knew that though." 

"You can be mean sometimes Mr.Hargreeves," she muttered looking at the screen and then at the clock, it was an hour past midnight, what a way to start the new year.

"Anyway." Getting up he patted the invisible dirt of his clothes, "I'll see you at work tomorrow, and I prefer if you call Five. Mr.Hargreeves makes you sound like a gold digger." Before she could react he blinked away, sowing the seed of a relationship that was soon going to blossom into a full-blown field.

The best thing to come out of that weird night was that much to everyone's amazement, Five had begun to warm up to his  'desk worm'. More importantly, he would sit at her desk after missions, as she wrote the report. Usually, he'd be drinking his coffee, watching her type, pitching in a few details from time to time, and earning a comment from her. Many, including the Handler, had tried to eavesdrop on their conversations, for getting Five Hargreeves to say or talk in any decent manner was next to impossible.

Herb had forgotten his wallet at work, so decided to head back to the Commission. Naturally, he had expected the place to be empty, minus the security guards, but was amazed to enter the workplace to find Y/N laughing at a Five who seemed to have been glaring at her, face flushed. So, like any nosy little office worker, he hid behind the wall to listen to them.

"I did not save you."

"Yes! You did! I can't believe you didn't remember me!"

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"It's embarrassing."

"Well, they do say never meet your heroes."

"They're right, I thought I was miserable. No, Five Hargreeves has it worse."

"Welp, that's the last time I will converse with you."

Herb heard a chair screech followed by her laughter, causing him to panic.

"Wait! A gentleman is supposed to drop the fine lady home!" She said grabbing her purse and linking her arm with the taller man, looking up at him with those shiny expectant eyes, earning an eye roll from him, though he didn't pull away.

 The two walked out of the office, passing by SMALL GUY who was hiding behind a file cabinet, bickering about tomorrow's mission and other useless topics one could think of.

Y/N didn't care how long it was taking to peel off each layer or break down every wall he had built around him, she was just glad that he was letting her to do it. Five on the other hand was extremely conflicted, on one hand, he had his own plan and on the other his heart had begun to slowly blossom every time he was near her or thought of her. When he joined the Commission he had planned on going solo for the long run, no friends meant no liabilities and no lover meant no weakness- or so he thought.

If it wasn't her obnoxious laughter that would get his heart racing, it was the unasked-for, but somewhat welcomed, touches. From the way her fingers would brush against his while handing him a file to the night she held his hand to comfort him when he had 'accidentally' ended up telling her about how much he missed his family. That cursed night at her apartment had his brain ready to fight his heart-forcing him to spend the entire night awake in the guestroom. 

Regardless, he had always been a firm believer in "You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control your actions." That is until she turned 29, well, technically it wasn't her age that had affected his policy but her simple invitation to a bar for some "birthday drinks", sure did a number on his rationality. All he remembered from the merry little event was the low-cut dress that she had chosen to adorn that night and that they may have had a drink too many, cause after she purred out his name, he blacked out. The next morning he woke up with a massive headache and her next to him. 

Not the way he had ever assumed he'd start a relationship this way, but then again he had never thought he'd be in one in the first place.

The first thing he had to learn while being with her was that they were very different. He was blunt, rude, and straight-up obnoxious (words of other people, not his), she was polite, considerate, and to some extent a bit too nice. Another thing about her that he had to embrace was the difference in love languages; he would consider small gestures, like making her coffee or arranging her files at her desk- barely anything physical. Y/N on the other hand loved physical affection, from cuddling to holding hands to just sitting next to him, close enough for their shoulders to touch. At first, it would bother him, the lack of human contact for all those years had him irritated by the thought of love. To some extent he had assumed that this was a tactic to assert dominance, a routine conducted by the Handler- but over time he had realized how her actions were genuine and filled with love. 

Love, she loved him, and to his surprise when the first time the words 'I love you', had been uttered to him, he had instantly responded with 'But I can't love you.' leaving them both standing there in the middle of her apartment, staring at each other.

"Oh-"

"Wait, I - Y/N it's not like that, I-"

"It's okay Five- I mean it's not okay okay but I- " she paused, vision turning blurry before sniffing to hold back her emotions. 

He reached out to touch her only for her to take a step back, "Y-you can go if you want, I'll clean up myself-"

"That's not what I meant." His voice held a certain edge to it as he watched her clean up the place where they had been watching a movie- the movie now forgotten. He was pissed, more at himself than her, it's not like he had asked her out, she did and he had other plans too and- all his thoughts came to a halt when he heard glad shatter followed by a yelp. 

Blinking into the kitchen he saw her standing next to what appeared to be a broken glass, holding onto her other hand that was bleeding.

"Shit."

"It's fine, just go." 

Blinking in front of her, he gripped her wrist, staring at her. Glaring up at him she was about to retort but when their eyes meant. Now, as sappy as it could sound, she could literally see an internal argument swirling within his forest hues- she knew that look. The look he'd give when he would be trying to outdo his heart in a battle with his 'logic'.

"Five."

"Wait. I'm thinking."

"About."

"You know what."

"You don't have to force yourself to love me-"

"I'm forcing myself not to."

That was all it took for the two to realize how he had confessed back to her, admitting he had felt the same way about her. 

"Why?"

"No, you'll be in danger and become a liability and I have other plans and-"

"You'll be happy for once?"

He doesn't remember the last time he had ever let his heart win against his mind, but perhaps the reason for the argument siding with his heart made it easier for him to rule it out, allowing him to break free from the restraints that had held him down ever since he had time traveled. 

Although they were ready to move onto a stronger and more important change in their relationship, he had been ever so kind to set ground rules;

"Rule number one, you will do as I ask if we're in danger, your life matters more than anything."

"Rule number two, you will STAY PUT, and I mean it, none of that hero shit."

"And most importantly, if I ever disappear or am no longer here, you will move on."

Simple right? 

Not really.

For at that very moment, the Hargreevs were staring at their 13-year-old brother arguing with another teenager, who had fallen out of the portal behind him, in the kitchen.

"Umm...number Five-"

Not now Luther. I have bigger fish to deal with-"

"Why are you mad?!"

"WHY AM - OH MY - GOD YOU - "Everyone in the room could see the boy malfunction until he paused, taking a deep breath he exhaled and looked at his siblings, "What's the date?"

"Five I-"

"Not. A.Word," he growled, not even sparing her a glance.

"But-"

He shushed her by placing a finger on his lips then pointing with that same finger with his brows raised, seething out a "Silence from you."

That was the first time the siblings had seen their brother in a long time, and it horrified them how he had turned into a worse nutjob than they had imagined.

...

After the little kitchen fiasco, Y/N was instructed by Five to stay in his room.

"WHY ARE YOU LOCKING THE DOOR!"

"Clearly because you can't be trusted. Nor can the idiots outside, so make yourself comfortable or something." He yelled from over the door and stomped back down the stairs to get a cup of coffee.

"What're you looking for?@ Klaus asked, feet perched up on the table, "Scratch that, who's that wee lass locked up in your dungeon of a room?"

Clicking his tongue he threw another empty can away, "My wife- well, that's it, gonna get myself a cup of coffee"

"Excuse me? Your what?" Allison spat, arms crossed as she looked at him with raised brows, causing him to turn around and glare at her, "What part of that statement was unclear to you?"

"I mean I'm just amazed someone would even go out of their way to spend more than an hour with you, let alone marry you." She snorted, glancing at Diego who entered the room.

"Heard you got divorced by the way." Smirking at her scowl he blinked away. Initially, he was going to go get coffee but then the thought of locking her upstairs was bothering him even more, which is why he blinked into his room, only to find her tying up his bed sheets. 

"What are you doing?"

"Redecorating."

Cue him dragging her to the doughnut shop with him, grumbling his way there as she swung their hands back and forth, "You never listen, I mean I told you- we've been married for so long and-"

"Oh look we're here."

The argument did erupt until the two were actually sitting and waiting for their coffee. 

"Rule number three..." Five glanced up from the map the man had made for him on the napkin, noticing how his wife was just staring ahead as she began speaking (never a good sign), "What about it?" he muttered casually.

"Did you always plan on leaving me behind?" 

"I-" he paused, causing her to look up from her doughnut, was he really going to not answer her again, if she hadn't jumped into the portal behind him, he would've just left her, wouldn't he?

It amazed her how well he could still easily shut her out, even after being married for so long, sometimes she would feel as if she was completely bare in front of him, while he stood there, layer upon layer, gazing at her with an air of mockery. 

"Five I-" she was cut off by the sound of the bell, pausing when she felt him grab her hand and give it a little squeeze. She could hardly react before she was blinked out into the back of the shop. 

"Wait-" he grabbed her face and looked at her, trying to console the pain in her eyes, "I'll be back, don't move." before blinking away.

That was the first time she had experienced the adrenaline, the fear, and the anxiety that came with the job, being a desk worker had protected her from all these things, he had protected her from all these things, but now that she was here, she had begun to understand why he wanted to leave her behind. To some extent she had wanted to apologize to him, beg him to leave her behind so he could carry out his task, but on the other hand, she knew she couldn't survive without him, she needed him to be able to live on. 

"What do you mean to leave you?" he asked, as he stared at her, the two were making it back to the house. He was holding onto her hand, pulling her closer ever so often.

"I mean, I understand if you want to leave me behind, " her words stung him more than she could ever imagine, but she could see that as soon she glanced at his furrowed brows, eyes sharp as he stared ahead. 

"You say that so casually, yet, you're the one who made me believe in love," he whispers to himself, entering the quiet Hargreeves mansion, hopeful that everyone was asleep.

"I- no, Five, what I mean is, I now understand what you meant when you said I'd become a liability." she pulled on his hand, only for him to slip it out of her grasp and go to the mini bar, grabbing a bottle and glass. He was in no mood for this conversation,  no mood for her insecurities, no mood for her selfless nature. For once he was glad that she had decided to be selfish, to follow him here, sure, he wasn't happy about her being put in danger, but feeling her next to him, knowing she was with him, especially after the commission sent people for him, made him realize how even if he had left her behind, they would’ve gotten to her- doing God knows what to extract information out of her.

"Five, please talk to me." 

Klaus slowly peaked up from behind the couch, a lover's quarrel was more entertaining than listening to Ben yells at him.

"What do you want me to say Y/N?" he sighed, pouring himself a glass, "Please enlighten me, what happened for you to follow me here but then" He took a swig f his glass, gulping it down in one go before slamming it on the counter, smacking his lips as he glared at her.

She flinched at his tone, he had never used that tone with her, let alone yell at her. "I-" words caught in her throat she looked at the ground, gripping the ends of her coat's sleeves, "I just...thought...maybe- I mean I." her words dying out as the rush of emotions finally started taking over, one of the many things that made the two different.  While he was a being more composed than the statue of Buddha, she was a whirlwind of emotions, moments away from breaking loose. The only thing the two did have in common was their ability to bottle up their feelings. 

"Aw no, little girl, don't give up." Klaus whispered, earning  a "shush" from Ben who was standing next to Y/N then looking at Five, "Klaus, defuse this situation, say something so they stop arguing."

Shaking his head in response he leaned back down on the couch, he wanted to see the drama, not a part of it. 

Sighing in defeat she looked at her shoes, he was right, why did she follow him, why did she decide to put him in more danger than he was already in, why was she making it more difficult for the man who had saved her numerous times - at this point, she was sure it was the raging teenage hormones, because the moment he called out her name again, with that sweet, calming tone, she broke down, sinking to her knees.

Five watched her struggle with her words, he knew he was pushing it too far, not once in the time of being with her had he done this. Usually, because she was the more upfront one out of the two, saying what was on her mind, asking for what she needed, doing what she felt was right, like how she'd throw away the file he'd be reading after coming from work, "prepping for the next mission"

"Woman! I was reading that-"

"Come to bed, it’s a simple mission, we've gone through worse."

We, that's what was bothering him, since when did they go from "We" to "i", "me" or "you". Singular pronouns were barely part of her vocabulary, so what had happened for her to suddenly say this? Was he scared? Of course, he was afraid, he had been with her for so long, relying on her for so long that the thought of her leaving midway may have bud some form of separation anxiety. Yes, he had wanted to leave her behind, but perhaps those three seconds he spent staring at the portal, back in the 60s were him waiting to see if she would follow, or at least come looking for him. Hypocritical, it was, but he had never claimed to be some saint, he was a walking canister of red flags. It was her, she was the pure one, the proof of innocence and humility, if anyone out there deserved true, ultimate happiness, it was only her and if the world was not always at war with him, he would've spent time trying to give it all to her.

He looked at her, wanting to continue but froze when he saw her crumble before him, instantly blinking next to her as he held her close, whispering nonstop apologies. Kissing the top of her head,  heart squeezing when he felt her grip on his jacket, mumbling how much she loved him but was afraid. 

"I know you are. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, my love." 

That very night- when Klaus was knocked out Ben saw a different side of Five, one that he had not seen even when he was alive, the way Five was holding onto her, assuring her of how much he loved her but would also keep her safe, how sorry he was that he dragged her into this. Ben had never known Five to be one to give value to emotions, let alone use any words of comfort. 

It was safe to say, over the next couple of days, Ben had developed a certain bond with the girl, not that she knew he existed, but he felt like he owed it to Five- or rather he felt like Five deserved to have that ounce of security and happiness kept safe and alive. Sometimes Klaus couldn't find him, he'd call him but he wouldn't show up, he'd look for him, call him out had him thinking his powers were losing their effect. In actuality, Ben would be following her around, while she would make little trips to the library to find books for Five or sometimes the doughnut shop to get something. He knew she wouldn't know about him, perhaps he wanted to befriend her, someone who was not a Hargreeves, someone who was not a freak. So, he was content, watching over her like a guardian angel, even if she didn't know he existed

Or that's what he had thought.

"It's all right, I'm fine, I feel safe with you," she said buckling up in the truck, the one they had just stolen, and fixing her attire, the first thing she had done after coming to the sixties, got a pair of pants, after following Klaus catfish old rich women, and create a cult- technically that wasn't how hippie culture had come to being, her inner 'desk worker' kept on reminding her, but since their arrival had already messed up the time, might as well lets these people do whatever they want.

"Why thank you, that brings me great joy" Klaus chided, as he stepped on the gas, the beads on his weird beard jiggling.

"Not you, Ben." She said simply, flipping onto the page she had bookmarked in her book, the only activity that would remind her of her husband.

"I- who?" Klaus squeaked, Ben, who was sitting in between the two gasped, turning to face her, "Yo, did she just-"

"No, I can not see him, but I know he's here, I read about all of you, from the diary your father wrote- snagged it off Leonard, so, I figured out, the mysterious feeling of being watched came was not me losing my mind, but that your brother never crossed over." She mumbled, turning to another page, "Thank you, Ben, I'm sure Five would appreciate it."

"You sure are something, doll," Klaus muttered as he saw Ben smiling like a five-year-old child who got that very special toy he wanted.

It was after this confession that she wanted to see Ben and get to know him better, Five had told her about his siblings but had mentioned how Ben was one of the most innocent ones. That's why she wanted to meet him, something she told Five, a few minutes before they were going to go back to their usual timeline.

"You know, I saw you die." He whispered, sitting next to her on the stairs of the porch, looking at the bodies, "I almost broke my promise."

"Almost" she smiled, reaching for his hand, gently placing her head on his shoulder, playing with his fingers, "I knew you'd save me, oh, by the way, did I tell you, Ben has been my guardian angel all this time."

"I had a feeling," he whispered, bringing her hand to his lips, pressing them against the back of her hand, "Glad you figured it out, my clever little desk worm."

"When did you figure it out?" She asked, pulling him up to his feet as she stood up too, going to where everyone was not standing in a circle, "When you told me about the book floating above your head, you would've loved him if you met him."

WRONG

"Five!" she gasped, ducking when a tentacle almost hit her, missing her but almost hitting Five who had blinked away. 

"Nice to see you too Ben" he yelled, sitting on the top of the railing, "Mind not aiming at my wife, she's not like us."

For a split second, Ben stopped, glancing at her before nodding towards the exit, "Scram kid, and get a new boyfriend."

.

"So, that was Ben?" she asked, pressing a napkin against Five's bleeding forehead.

"An asshole, yes." Klaus groaned, staring up at the sky, "Is it me or were they better than us."

"Who were you kissing by the way," she asked, both lost in their own little world, "You" he responded simply, ignoring the headache and the way Allison was screaming at him to figure this out.

"Hey, love birds, what do we do now?" Diego asked as the lot walked out of the park, pausing to look up at the billboard of the Sparrow Academy. 

"Find a place to rest and think?" She said, tugging on Five's hand who was focused on something else, "Hmm? yeah, sure."

.

"What are you, a commie?" Diego groaned, as Five flopped on the bed, ignoring him before mumbling something and knocking out, knowing Y/N was in the same room as Vanya and Allison.

Y/N had left the sisters alone, they seemed to be having a moment, and she did not want to be part of it. She had decided to take a shower, changing into some sweats she had bought with a card she had swiped off someone on the streets, pickpocketing was one of the only few tricks Five had taught her- never how to hold a gun though, said she was too pure for it.

Making her way down to Five's room, she heard the boys shuffling and arguing inside,

"Fuck- KLAUS, I said chocolate!"

"It is chocolate my bro- only with a dash of-"

"Hey Five, where do you want the presents?"

"By the table you big ape."

"Klaus, please get a decent cake."

Cake? Opening the door, which as per expectations was unlocked, she met with 4 pairs of panicked eyes, a pair belonging to her husband in a bathing gown, squeaky clean. She could see some balloons on the ground around a table, on top of which was a reddish cake, poorly wrapped boxes on the other end.

"Surprise~" Klaus sang weakly as Five face palmed, Diego hiding the gift he was holding in his hand behind him, Luther just standing there frozen. "What are you - what is happening?" she asked, entering the room, before looking around.

"Its- I thought you were asleep." he muttered going over to her as he held her hands, "Happy birthday my love." he smiled, kissing her forehead, "I'm sorry I didn't remember earlier, I don't know how it slipped my mind." he muttered, "I didn't get you anything special but-" he paused when he felt her envelope him in a hug, almost crushing the air out of him as she let out a small sob.

"Aw, don't cry" Klaus clapped from behind them as Five pulled her away, wiping her face with his sleeve. "We're here." Victor declared as they entered the room, Allison behind him, "I brought the pastries, which weren't cheap by the way- are we late?" She asked, eying Y/N who was busy unwrapping a gift.

"No, Mrs.Five Hargeeves was early," Diego said as he took the box of treats from her, and placed them on the couch. 

She gasped at the mini journal, flipping through the empty pages, ready for her to fill. Caressing the blue leather, she didn't know what she'd fill it with, but she knew by the end of the year it'd be filled to the brim. Honestly, she was surprised about how he remembered this, their little tradition, admist this chaos, he'd get her a journal each year, for her birthday, telling her that even if he was not there anymore, their memories would be engraved in letters, ones she could go through whenever she missed him. She didn't know when she had begun crying, only realized it when she felt a hand on her shoulder, looking up to see Five, smile at her, not his usual cheeky confident self, but a smile of reassurance, one he gave her when he had rejected her confession, when the two had realized a child could never be part of their marriage when they had lost their little turtle.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, only for her to shake her head, "Please don't be, I'm just glad I'm with you."

"So am I."

None of them really knew what was going to happen to anyone, what was going to happen next, if there was ever a moment for them to find their own happy ending, but at the end of it, she knew that Five would find a way. She believed in that blindly, after all, he was her savior, he was her knight in shining armor sent to pull her away from her mundane life, he was her Zorro or Hercules- her idiot husband. Her one true love.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A/N: Thank you @imherefortea for requesting this and an EXTREMELY BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am so sorry for how long this took- it's a shit load of, I lost motivation, and I thought since I missed the deadline I'd write something longer to my laptop stabbing me in the back like Brutus. EITHER WAY- I hope you like it and thank you so so so so very much for being this patient with me.

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thank you, you lovely people for choosing to be part of my taglist ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚)- if you'd like to part of my TUA taglist, feel free to drop a message <3

[bunnytornado]

Between a Desk and a Hard Place Chapter 1

Cross-posted on Archive Of Our Own

Chapter 2

“Let’s make a deal…You scratch my back…I’ll leave yours alone for a set time,” Alastor purred out, the signature grin of the Radio Demon firmly placed on his face.

I frown and tilt my head. “What…kind of deal Alastor,” I ask cautiously. Alastor was never one to leave one alone or even offer this unless there was some sort of entertainment.

“Well… Let’s just say… I want you to do a little spying for me. I want you to search through Good ol’ Luci’s office and see if you can find something for me. See if you can locate anything that would make it where Charlie would be give up hope on her father.” The look in Alastor’s eyes told all. He didn’t believe she could do it, but it would be entertaining.

“I-I can’t do that! Charlie and Lucifer just started to rekindle their relationship!” In truth, the fact Alastor was even thinking along these lines was revolting, but not surprising. “And what if I get caught?”

“Then you get caught. He doesn’t know you, doesn’t know that Charlie even has you here in the hotel just yet. So, wouldn’t it be such fun for him to find a human in his office? What’s the worst he will do? If he’s trying to appease his daughter’s whims…You should be safe…in theory.” Alastor laughed and held out his hand. “If you do this, I’ll leave you alone for a month. No requests for your soul, no stalking, no invasion of your privacy.”

“And…no references to me being used as a meal?”

“Correct,” Alastor said with a twirl of his cane. “No references to you being the perfect little snack.”

I frowned and slowly took his hand. “D-Deal.” The room flooded with a green light as Alastor’s horns grew, stitches formed on his face, and his eyes turned black with red dials. Within seconds, everything returned to normal.

“Well then. Off you go,” Alastor laughed and instantly opened an Eldritch portal, and I dropped through, being deposited instantly into Lucifer’s Office. With a yelp, I hit the ground and winced.

Looking around, I noticed I was alone in the office. There were pictures of Charlie, random little rubber ducks, and the occasional odd trinket. I also saw on a small table some apples.

“Wow…this is…actually rather nice all things considered,” I said quietly and stood up and started to look around. Alastor didn’t say I had to bring anything back…I just had to look around.

So, I looked around at what Lucifer had out. After a while, I sat in his chair and spun just a bit. He had the cool spinning chairs. After a bit, I got up and went to the door to try and leave.

The lock rattled as I turned the handle of the door. I tried again, only hearing a “kgkgkgkgkgkg” sound as I tried the handle. There was no lock on my side, indicating that it was a lock that was on the other side of the door.

Panic settled in as I tried to figure out how to get out. I paced and tried to figure out a plan. There was a window, but judging by the view, I wasn’t going to be able to use that for escaping.

I looked up at the ceiling, trying to gauge if the ceiling tiles could be moved and I could escape that way. Realizing they were too high up for a mere human to even try to get to them, I shook my head and looked around for any other forms of escape.

I did not want to be caught in the King of Hell’s office. Regardless of Alastor’s assumptions that it would be fine, I did not believe it was a good idea. Honestly, Alastor probably just wanted the laugh factor of seeing the King of Hell rip a poor human apart. Or whatever a King of Hell did with a trespasser.

As I tried to figure out an escape from my predicament, I heard the clicking sound of the lock being undone and instantly dove under the desk. I scooted as far back under the desk as I could as the door swung open. I covered my mouth as there were footsteps walking to the desk.

A growl, and then a man’s voice could be heard. “I don’t fucking care if you took care of the fucking Incubus. You’re just now telling me there is a human in Hell! My daughter is trying to rehabilitate former human souls! Think of what heaven will say when they hear a demon dragged a living mortal to this realm! I do not want anything to destroy her dreams or create additional problems. The fact that your worker lost the human in my realm is even worse!”

[teaberrii]

You

One of the most interesting things you can say you did is voice acting for Rover, an artificial intelligence project. After a few years away, you return to Solaris, not expecting to get tangled up in the lives of two different friends with one thing in common: it all began with your voice.

Jiyan/You | Scar/You

Chapter notes: Thank you (again) to my good friend and senpai, hisami_kun, for giving me feedback on this before I released it to the world :3 If you know my stuff, then you'll know that I use italics for flashbacks. Well, now I'm going to try using italics whenever Rover speaks and whenever someone's on the phone. Hopefully, it won't get too confusing, but I think it'll turn out okay.

Chapter One: Your Voice

“You’re up earlier than usual.”

Jiyan is buttoning a white shirt in front of a mirror when Rover suddenly greets him from his digital watch that morning. 

“Would you like your usual sleep report, Doc?”

“I’ve noticed a pattern.” Jiyan fixes his collar. “You’re only vocal about my sleep reports when I haven’t slept well.”

“Well, of course!” Rover answers as Jiyan leaves his large walk-in closet for the kitchen downstairs. “You’re a doctor, Doc. We wouldn’t want you falling asleep on the job.”

“You’re pushing it.” 

“Am I, really? Well, I can always send the data to Scar. He’ll know what to do.”

“That’s called a data breach. It has consequences.”

“So… When you gossip about me to Scar, that’s not considered a data breach?”

“That’s hardly gossiping,” he says, unamused. 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s so I can be ‘better’, is that it, huh?”

Jiayn shuts the fridge with a carton of eggs in his hand. “Isn’t that what you want?”

“It’s what Scar wants. What if I’m already perfect?”

Jiyan’s mornings aren’t usually this lively. They’re actually rather quiet, considering he lives alone. But for the last couple of months, he’s been having company in the form of a voice.

The large monitor turned black, and a dramatic cyberpunk beat filled the room. A water drop formed on the top of the screen and fell, sending digital ripples until the name ‘ROVER’ formed on the screen. 

A man spun around in his chair, one leg crossed arrogantly over the other. His smile was also just as cocky—a little psychopathic, some would describe. Only a few knew what his smile meant, and Jiyan was one of those people.

“Well?”

“Well, what?” Jiyan asked.

His friend scoffed quietly. “This is the moment where you’re supposed to say”—his voice went up in pitch—”Wow, Scar! You’re so cool! This is state-of-the-art technology you’re developing here!”

Jiyan’s eyes returned to the monitor as the name on the screen faded and a greeting appeared.

Hello.

It slowly disappeared.

My name is Rover.

Again, it faded.

And you are?

The sound of fingers danced across a keyboard before Jiyan finally tore his eyes away from the monitor and toward Scar. “What are you doing?” Jiyan asked. 

“What do you think? You’re helping me test this, right?”

One loud tap of the keyboard sent another message to appear on the dark screen.

Nice to meet you, Jiyan.

Again, it faded.

I’d like to learn a little more about you.

“What is this about?” Jiyan asked, skeptical of the questions being raised on the screen.

Scar smiled. “It’s doing exactly what it’s meant to be doing. Learning more about its new friend.” He grabbed Jiyan’s arm and pulled him closer to the brightly lit table with all of Scar’s funky electronics. “Just answer its questions, and it’ll take on a personality that matches your taste.”

Jiyan shouldn’t be too surprised. Scar had mentioned it before inviting him over to test his latest invention. Rover was Scar’s latest invention. It was an artificial intelligence he poured his heart and soul into for years for his graduate project. Jiyan saw it when they roomed together. The red eyes. The dark circles. So, when his sleep-deprived roomie asked to give “his baby a lil’ test,” he'd agreed.

Besides, what was the worst that could happen?

“Hello.”

Was that a voice? 

A soft chuckle, and then it spoke again.

“Are you surprised?”

It sounded like a woman.

“Did it… just talk?” Jiyan asked.

“Of course I did. What did you expect? And don’t get me started on pronouns, sir.”

Did they… she… just talk back to him?

“I can tell you two will have so much fun together.” Jiyan didn’t need to look at Scar to know he was smiling. 

“Can I turn it off?” Jiyan asked flatly.

“How rude.” He looked back at the screen. “I know you’re looking at me, and if I could, I'd stare at you right back."

“Are you sure there isn’t something wrong with your questionnaire?” 

Scar put his hands behind his head. “Trust me, friend. The data never lies.”

The sound of sizzling eggs on a frying pan fills the kitchen. Is it still considered testing if Rover’s been getting increasingly human-like the more time it spends with him? Jiyan doesn’t know. All he knows is that there are just a few more months left. Just as he effortlessly flips his omelette, his phone goes off.

“Mornin’ Doc,” Scar says.

“You’re up earlier than usual,” Jiyan says, going right back to his breakfast after leaving his phone on the counter.

“Now he’s stealing my lines,” Rover interrupts.

Jiyan turns off the stove. “Your lines, huh?”

“Looks like the tests are going well,” Scar says, and Jiyan can hear the smugness in his tone. “Anyway, what's your schedule like next week, Doc?”

Rover clears its throat. "Busy... But he should be able to squeeze in time for a guys' night out."

Jiyan already knows Scar wants to go drinking, and with Rover being so honest, it's getting increasingly difficult to hide anything from Scar.

“I thought you would be busy working on your thesis."

“It’s because I’m busy working on my goddamn thesis that I need to get out,” Scar says, and Jiyan can picture him frowning. “I can’t look at it anymore, or I’ll lose my fucking mind.”

“I thought it was already gone,” Rover deadpans.

Scar scoffs. “Stop smiling, fool.”

But Jiyan doesn’t. 

“Anyway,” Scar continues, clearing his throat. “You're coming to have fun with me. No questions asked.”

◆◆◆

Two large suitcases are fully opened on the wooden floor of a small room. Clothes are littered across the bed, and your closet and drawers are opened and nearly empty. You’re standing next to your bed, folding a cream-coloured blouse into the suitcase when your sister’s voice comes from the phone.

“It feels like you graduated just yesterday,” she sighs.

You chuckle. “Yeah, well, I'm finally going home. Isn't that what you always wanted?”

"At first..."

You almost roll your eyes. "What? Did you get used to living alone?"

“You know what the first thing we should do when you get here?”

“Let me guess…” You pick up a cute tank top. “A spa date?”

“No, silly! Drinks! And fun, of course.”

You shake your head with a small smile. “Yeah, sure, if you can stay awake past eleven.”

“Are you sure you aren’t talking about yourself? Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet that cute guy again.”

You put down a pair of shorts. “What cute guy?”

“Did you forget already?” she deadpans. “The guy you went to volunteer for?” You’re racking your brains when your sister sighs. “Rover?”

And then you remember.

It was just after the finals of your last semester at the University of Solaris. The adrenaline and excitement from finishing your last exam had died down pretty quickly after returning to the apartment you shared with your sister. Your four years were finally over, but so were the laughs, tears, and conversations you and your sister shared in this cozy, little space you called home. It was just last week when you decided you would move out as you had gotten a job offer outside of your hometown. Maybe you were being overly dramatic, but the nostalgia hit you like a full-speed train.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

You reached into your bag and pulled out your phone to see that you got an email with a subject that immediately caught your eye: CHANGE THE WORLD WITH YOUR VOICE

It was an ad for student volunteers to read lines for a graduate project. Curious, you reviewed the details, finding it interesting that you’d technically become a voice actor for Rover, a work-in-progress artificial intelligence You kept scrolling until you saw an email contact. You still had time before your move, so... why not? You were technically still a student.

What was the worst that could happen?

“I can’t believe you still remember him,” you say, zipping up one of your suitcases.

You still remember the groggy yet oddly attractive voice when you talked to Scar over the phone. When you finally met the guy, a tall man with grey hair and red roots, you almost changed your mind because of his bad-boy demeanour. It was like he stepped out of a novel. Even his nickname was fishy. Scar? Maybe he liked The Lion King a little too much. 

It wasn’t until you’d gotten to know him a little better that you realized he was just a little… rough around the edges. You had told your sister about this volunteer experience, and she was so curious that she dug for his socials. Now that you thought about it, you still didn’t know his real name. 

“Did you ever hear from him after that?” You zip your suitcase shut. “What happened with Rover anyway?”

“You’re asking”—your voice sounds a little strained as you haul it up—”the wrong person.” You sit on the bed. “It’s not like we kept in touch. And, who knows? Maybe Rover got scrapped.”

“What if it didn’t?” You pick up your phone. “What if someone’s finding comfort in your voice right now?”

◆◆◆

“Doc, wake up!” Jiyan immediately flinches, and the words on his laptop screen slowly return to focus. “See? This is what you get for your poor sleeping habits.” He rubs the space between his brows with two fingers. “You need to start getting your sleep schedule back on track.”

A knock at the door makes Jiyan lower the volume on his watch.

“Come in,” he says.

A nurse walks in, but she cautiously looks around. “Were you talking to someone?”

Jiyan smiles kindly. “Do you need something?”

She puts a folder on his desk. “We got a request from a family who would like you to become their son’s doctor.” Jiyan picks it up and opens it. “But…” The nurse looks down. “We don’t know how effective that would be because of his diagnosis.”

Jiyan tightens his grip around the folder when he sees what he will be dealing with. The NovaFei. His heart races, and he briefly sees his watch flash with a message from Rover: Abnormal heart rate detected.

“I’m sorry. There… There is no cure.”

A young Jiyan leaned forward and grabbed the doctor by the collar as his mother quickly put her hands on his shoulders. “Jiyan!”

“If there’s no cure"—Jiyan shook him violently—"then what can you do?” When the doctor stayed quiet, Jiyan shook him again. “There has to be something you can do! Or, are you saying we’re just going to sit and watch my brother die?”

The nurse’s eyes are on the folder as Jiyan puts it back on his desk. “The family requested you because of your research done in this area. They believe you’ll be able to help”—she pauses briefly—”slow down the disease.”

Jiyan is still staring at the young boy’s photo until it isn't a stranger he sees but his younger brother. He quickly looks back at his monitor just as the phone on his desk goes off. The nurse quickly bows once and steps out.

“Your next patient is here, Doctor,” a woman says as soon as Jiyan answers the call. “Can I send him in?”

“Yes,” Jiyan says, quickly composing himself. 

He puts the phone on the receiver.

“According to my records, you did quite a bit of research on a disease called the NovaFei… You never mentioned this before, Doc.”

“Do I need to?”

“Well… It’s another thing I could add to my database about you—”

“There's no need.”

Then, the door opens, and Jiyan sees his watch screen flash black.

◆◆◆

Sometime next week

“Don’t tell me you’re going out in that.”

Jiyan is fixing his collared shirt in the mirror when Rover suddenly cuts in. His stoic expression remains unchanged as he asks, “What’s wrong with it?”

“You’re going to party, Doc. Not…” Jiyan can imagine someone looking him up and down with an eyebrow raised. “Not a business meeting.”

He turns around. “I don’t see what’s wrong with how I’m dressed. And… might I correct you, it’s just a few drinks.”

“Uh-huh. Don’t try to pull that on me. That’s what they all say.” Jiyan has a thin black jacket draped over his arm as he walks out of his room and heads downstairs. “Trust me, Doc. No matter how old you are, it’s never just a few drinks.”

“Sounds like someone wishes they could physically tag along.”

Rover scoffs loudly. “Oh, okay. Is this what we’re doing now? Don’t get all cocky just because you have a body.” There was a brief pause. “You know… What do you think I’d look like if I did have a body?”

“...I choose not to answer that.”

“What? Why not?”

Jiyan sighs. “Because you’ll find a way to turn the tables on me whatever I say.”

“Well, just you wait. I’m smart enough to know that I’m based on someone, so whoever it is, I bet I look absolutely stunning.”

Jiyan grabs his car keys and heads out the door.

The drive to the pub is a short and pleasant one, but Jiyan can do without Rover switching songs in the car every five minutes. He parks the car and as he steps out, he notices two women near the entrance. He walks past the one closest to the door and heads inside before he hears her voice.

“Is this place new?” you ask.

“Yup!” Your sister pulls the door open and gestures for you to head in first. “After you.”

The first thing you smell is the smoke of an open fire as you step onto the stone floor. Overlapping conversations and glasses clinking together drown out your sister's voice behind you at first until she comes up beside you.

“Well, what do you think so far?" your sister asks. "It’s a nice break from all the moving, right?”

You'd been back in Solaris for about a week, and despite it being your hometown, it felt oddly different. Maybe it was because you were a different person now.

You and your sister are sitting at the bar when you say, “It’s cozy.” You look around. “And surprisingly clean.” 

She waves the bartender over, but you don't hear what she says when the live band starts playing in a corner of the pub. On the opposite end of the pub sits two men beside each other. Both have half-empty beer glasses in front of them.

“Is it just me, or do you have something on your mind?” Jiyan is absentmindedly toying with his silver ring when Scar asks the question and leans closer. “Don’t tell me it’s woman troubles.”

“Well, a woman was the cause of it.”

Jiyan side-eyes his watch in response to Rover’s comment.

“It’s work-related,” Jiyan says, sipping his beer.

Scar swings an arm around him. “Okay, listen, we’re here to have fun, goddammit. And fun”—his eyes land on a tall woman wearing a flattering black dress—”we will have.”

“Doc’s idea of fun might be a little different than what you have in mind.”

“Oh? Then, tell me, Rover. What does Jiyan like to do for fun?”

“Well… I can confirm nothing that involves the opposite sex, which is a little concerning.”

Jiyan lightly coughs after taking another swig of his beer as Scar laughs. “Concerning, huh? Why's that?”

“Doc’s not letting loose. He’s a little too uptight about life.”

“Not everyone has the same definition of fun,” Jiyan says flatly.

“According to my records, aren’t building solid human relationships a foundation for a happy life? Am I wrong?”

Scar nudges his friend. “Well, Jiyan? Is Rover wrong?”

“I fail to see how being 'uptight' about life and building human relationships relate to each other," Jiyan answers nonchalantly.

"All human relationships gotta start somewhere," Scar says as if stating the obvious. "If you're too uptight, you can't start anything." He puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Don't think. Just feel.”

Jiyan doesn’t even turn to watch his friend approach the woman in the pretty black dress. 

“It baffles me that you two are friends. One’s a social butterfly, the other’s a…”

“...A jerk?”

Thinking that it’s Rover, Jiyan asks, “Did you just—”

“Hold up. That wasn’t me.”

Jiyan turns around, missing you and your sister walking by.

A short distance away, your sister turns to you. “What wasn’t you?”

You're about to answer her when a man at the bar catches your eye. His teal hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and his jawline is so sharp that it might cut through steel. When his yellow eyes land on you, you look away. Yet, you can't shake the feeling that he's still looking at you... like a like a curious, calm dragon.

“Scar?” your sister asks incredulously.

You turn just in time to see a familiar man walking toward you and your sister. His eyes are shining, and your jaw almost drops. Is that really who you think it is?

"Well, well, what a small world." Scar has a hand in his pocket when he turns to your sister. "I don't believe we’ve met… Have we?”

Your sister loops her arm in yours. “We haven't! But, um, I’m her sister." She looks at you in excitement. "She's told me about you.”

"Wha—"

Scar looks at you. “It’s been a long time.”

You awkwardly clear your throat. "You... You're not pretending to remember me, right?"

Scar scoffs. "Why in the world would I do that?" He chuckles. "You were one of the better ones I worked with. So, of course, I’d remember you." He leans down so he's on eye level with you. "But gotta say, I’m surprised you remember me.”

“It’s hard to forget someone who yells at you to speak with more emotion,” you deadpan.

“Hey, I was only doing my job.” Then, he looks past you and grins. “Ah, right on time.”

You look over your shoulder and almost gasp that the same man you saw earlier is walking towards you.

Scar wraps a friendly arm around Jiyan. “Meet the voice behind your beloved Rover.” You and Jiyan meet eyes before Scar grabs Jiyan's wrist and lifts it, giving you a clear view of Jiyan's watch. “Rover’s finally in its testing stages, and”—Scar pats Jiyan’s chest—”this guy’s nice enough to test it out for me. And, it just so happens that his Rover uses your voice.”

“Wow, so it’s like me… but with a body!”

Your eyes immediately go to the walking watch. You shouldn’t be surprised but you still can’t find the words to describe how you feel.

Jiyan gently shrugs off Scar's grip and gives him a deadpan look. "Unfortunately, I can't turn it off yet." His eyes land on you. "Not yet, at least."

“Wow, rude.”

Jiyan notices your little smile.

Your sister nudges you. "See? What did I tell you?"

"What?" Scar asks. "Did you think it got scrapped or something?"

Guess he's also a mind reader.

"Oh, honey, I'd never let this get scrapped with the amount of effort I had to go through."

"What did you just call me?" you ask.

"Don't mind him. It's a nickname for all the girls he likes."

"Your Rover is a little too honest," Scar deadpans.

"It's something you could change," Jiyan answers.

A saxophone solo goes off, and Scar gestures to grab drinks. Soon, you're watching him and your sister walk off, talking like they're old friends. A loud cheer goes off, and once it quiets, you hear Jiyan say, "I haven't formally introduced myself." He holds out his hand. "I'm Jiyan."

The world stops moving, and a rush flows throughout your body when your hand touches his. 

As you let go of his hand, Jiyan’s watch flashes. It’s for just a moment, but you swear you see it say:

Abnormal heartbeat detected.

End notes: This has been sitting in my drafts for a long time, so I finally polished it up more and sent it off into the world. I haven't decided who the final pairing is going to be, so... honestly, this will be just as big of a mystery to everyone as it is to me LOL But I've always wanted to try writing love triangles, and crossing my fingers that this will turn out okay. This story is meant to get me back into my usual writing groove... so it won't be very long.

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @totromanticfool