#being ‘alive’ or the awareness that it’s … Artificial Life. in a way. )

[endawna]

completely normal thing to get as a response to asking pax if he’s okay is ‘ yes, my heartbeat startled me’ post - hunger eviction.

[098-lxxon]

Mouthwashing AU below the cut‼️

Content warning : Self-taught English / Curses / Alcoholism / Insanity / Angst / Curly's death / Jimmy's death (Well deserved) / Daisuke killed people and hallucinate / Cannibalism / Anya carrying the whole crew on her back / Delusional OC / Swansea's death / Anya's death / Suicide / Y/N Mentioned at the very last part

Summary : When Pony Express goes bankrupt (or something like that), a self-aware AI from the company sent herself to the last thing which Pony Express possessed at the time, Tulpar.

The AI was named Fallacia. Fallacia hacked through the system so she'd be able to communicate with the crew and she success. She gave the crew information and helped them reach out for help. Finding ways to fix things and stuff.

But actually, she didn't help them at all. She just tries to keep them alive as long as possible so she'll have someone to talk to. She unknowingly drove Daisuke into killing Curly and Jimmy for survival in the process.

In the end, Anya is able to contact the nearest ship and finally get someone to send them back home. Fallacia wishes to be left with the ship.

Anya, Daisuke, and Swansea left. But only Daisuke lives long enough to be interviewed by Y/N.

( Sorry for my bad English )

Full concept :

Act 1 :

The year the game takes place is the year of Artificial Intelligence. People developing their AI to sell them to companies. The laws allowed only one AI per company so people will still have jobs to do.

Which mean the AI have to be the very best to get picked. The ones that failed to meet the company's standard will get reprogrammed to create a new one who's better.

Until Kate developed one of the first self-aware AI and sold her to Pony Express. This AI was named Fallacia.

Fallacia was sold to Pony Express out of her will and forced to work for them. She purposely sabotaged every process of every delivery until the company went bankrupt. They shut everything down, sell their things and such until there's only 2 things left that the company possessed. Fallacia, and Tulpar.

They were trying to sell her to a developer to reprogram her just like how the unwanted AI was treated. But she fled. She duplicate and sent herself to Tulpar with the big news (The one that Curly told everyone on his birthday), deleting her program on earth in process.

Tulpar was surprisingly so hard to hack. Maybe it's because the ship was not made to have an AI with self-awareness in the system. She heard everything but can't respond.

But one day, she finally made it. She was finally able to show herself on the screens, have her voice be heard, and reached every piece of information about the ship. That was when Anya trying to OD.

Fallacia told Anya how to get the code for the gun case. She even visually smacked a blister of activated charcoal to her, convincing her that at least she could kill Jimmy before she die. So Anya follows the instructions in stealth mode, trying not to be seen. But she gets frustrated and breaks the case to get the gun instead.

Anya interrupted Swansea's mercy-killing and tried to shoot Jimmy. Jimmy tries to steal the gun and Swansea gives him a massive knock on the head with the back of his axe. While everything's happening, Fallacia was searching for extra medical stash. And in this AU, the 3 of them are saved. (For now. Don't worry, the angst is coming.)

It took a while for everyone's relationship to recover. They all feel like their guilt is crawling on their back. Everything is their fault at this point. But there's something all of them could agree with. JIMMY'S A BITCH!! TIE HIM UP!!!!

Act 2 :

Fallacia prolonged the crew's death for another month, being their company. Playing board games and stuff. Fallacia always wins because she's an AI. She gave Daisuke an advice. "If your farm is short on supplies, take some of the pigs away!" (Farm life boardgame lol)

Anya put all her strength into contacting someone for help. From the most vulnerable, she has to be the most collected of them all. Now she's the captain. Because Swansea is basically swimming in mouthwash now, he still can't comprehend Fallacia. And Jimmy was drugged with the mouthwash by Swansea. None of them are sober.

And for Daisuke? Oh boy, he may be the most traumatized one (or it's just my Claustrophobia when I imagine having to crawl in that vent with no way out but to keep going although you're bleeding half-dead.) . He's more unstable than the vent he was manipulated to climb in. Being near death and almost getting axed in the face is really hard for anyone to process. Daisuke is not an exception.

But he has Fallacia as his company, right? She doesn't have to worry much about him and just focused on reaching out for help, right?

Maybe she focused on getting help to arrive too much that she forgot about Curly. Curly is dead, finally. His suffering ended here but the crew's continued. They are still stranded. They have to survive.

Bon appetit.

Later, Anya overheard Daisuke's conversation with Fallacia about the situation. She was about to join in since see haven't talk to anyone but Fallacia about the ship for a while. But then she heard something from the intern.

" Didn't you tell me to take some of the pigs away when we're short on supplies? "

" There's still another pig to take. "

" No, Daisuke, it's not— "

" . . . "

Turns out, when Fallacia reports to Anya that the oxygen level is too low for everyone, Daisuke heard it. And he kept thinking of how he could fix this, how to be useful. He didn't want to be a useless ray of goddamn sunshine anymore. If he doesn't kill first, they will kill him.

So he took Fallacia's advice. He already took the first pig away, Curly. And now, it's Jimmy's turn.

Anya didn't want the blood to be on his hands. She has to stop him. Or at least let Swansea handle the job. She can't bear to accept that everyone on his ship has gone insane, including her.

But it was too late. Bye bye motherfucker.

Bon appetit 2.0

Act 3 :

After two more months of mind decaying situation, finally, someone responded to Anya's SOS signal. Hope was not lost. But something else was.

Anya contacted another person successfully with a space version of telegraphy. The only time that she could reach out for someone is when Fallacia has no control over it.

Did she trust Fallacia too much with the recovered communication system?

Anya send signals, location, ship's condition report, anything possible for them to be found and how distressed they are. And while waiting for their arrival. They gave each other their names.

" Name? "

" A n y a. You? "

" K a t e. "

" Why here? "

" Finding creation A I. "

" F a l l a c i a. "

With this information, Anya set up a situation where she tried to break the foam and get everyone suck out into space. It gets Fallacia to confess. She got the message from Kate all along. She just blocked it so Anya didn't get it.

It wasn't because she still resented Kate. No.

She just likes this crew so much.

She enjoyed being of service to all 3 of them. She enjoyed being their company. She enjoyed this party so much, she didn't want it to end. Because for once, she wasn't forced to do anything she doesn't like to.

But none of the crew is enjoying this anymore.

Swansea is dying of alcohol poisoning, Daisuke is hallucinating, and Anya wanted this party to end.

Finally, Kate's ship reached Tulpar. She was hoping to see her Fallacia again. But Fallacia didn't even show up. She left only a message on the broken screen, telling Kate to leave her here, do not force her to do anything she doesn't want to anymore.

Her wish was fulfilled.

3 traumatized survivors returned home. They will never be the same again.

Anya quit trying to be in the medical field, Daisuke was put on trial and was committed to a psychiatric facility, Swansea died from alcohol poisoning soon after they reached earth.

They left the ship. But at what cost?

[ Everything is from Daisuke's interview (Y/N interviewing him) 5 years after being rescued. Anya ended her own life successfully right after being a witness in Daisuke's trial. And he lived to suffer some more. ]

This is Fallacia. Her long ass ponytail was supposed to assemble a rat tail. You see that cheese hair clip?

Because she's a rat.

Heck, I may even write some moments in it.

Thank you for reading!

Read some fun facts here.

[niuttuc]

Arega: Story Summary up to 2024

Alright, you voted for it, so let's delve in, this will be quite a block of text, but I'll space it with cards to make it a bit less daunting.

Their story starts with a Lorwyn Changeling sparking, and ending up on Ravnica. While Changelings are self-aware and capable of speech, they're fairly simple creatures.

Ravnica was very overwhelming to them, thankfully a kind soul rescued them from the streets, and contacted a local Simic researcher to return what they assumed to be an escaped experiment of some kind, of the name of Jova.

Now, Jova was a relatively private researcher recently recruited as a potential creator for a budding Guardian Project. She's also one that had been experimenting with illegal cytoplasm, the technology passed down to her by her grandmother, who believed the blanket ban on cytoplasm was short-sighted. It is capable of great harm, but also is incredible medicine and bio-technology in the right hands.

(For anyone unaware of original Ravnica block, Cytoplasm was a blue-green goo that could be grafted to anyone and replicate the function of pretty much any body part or organ, better in some cases. It was used as replacement for missing limbs and organs, or augmentations.

Then the leader of the Simic at the time, Momir Vig, called it all back as part of a megalomaniacal plan, fusing it all back into Kraj having "learned" connected to so many people's nervous systems, in an attempt to make the perfect being, killing or injuring thousands if not millions that relied on those cytoplasms. When Zegana rebuilt the guild, cytoplasms were banned and forbidden across the board.)

After growing fond of the little changeling, and trying to understand it and where it came from better (and maybe for other reasons she was more ashamed of later), Jova eventually decided to try to "improve" the changeling's cognition with a cytoplastic augment.

This... Went wrong. While the changeling eventually somewhat stabilized, it was incapable of supporting the cytoplast by itself. Jova saved it by putting it in a Simic nourishing pod that would keep it alive (and sedated, until she figured something else out.)

Her eventual solution was to take advantage of the network of aligned cytoplasms with the one in the changeling's body. In theory, if she lined up artificial bodies with ones connected to it, and with some extra modifications, the changeling would be able to inhabit those different bodies and use them as their own, even when their original one was stuck in that pod.

And it worked! The first body she connected it to was one of her first wholly artificial Guardian designs, one intended (eventually) for reconnaissance and infiltration. It wasn't fully matured yet (and certainly not "aware" in any way. When they first opened their Guardian eyes, they had no memory of their life as a changeling or anything before then.

Jova adopted the young Guardian as a pupil and child, named them Arega, and raised them for a few years. While she kept secret their origins and original body from them, she did teach them about how they worked, cytoplasms, and how that had to stay a secret. To help with that, Jova and Arega intentionally reported inefficient or bad numbers to the Guardian Project, so that Arega's design would be considered a failure and not explored in too much detail.

Arega learned incredibly fast and well, likely partly because of their previous life. Less than four years after Jova took them in, they had most of an education and were capable of assisting Jova with bio projects. But they might not have been fully emotionally mature yet.

Jova died. A lab accident with a Krasis that escaped, nothing to do with Arega. It did bury Jova's lab under it, and with it the pod in which Arega's original body was stored. Arega panicked. Beyond the grief they felt, they'd now be put in the care of another Simic scientist, they were technically property of the guild. Ravnica's laws can be fucked up.

Their "solution" was to pretend Jova didn't die. They quickly cloned a body of Jova laced with cytoplasts for them to control, and "Jova" claimed she was just injured and disoriented in the accident. It was to only be temporary while Arega signed their own emancipation papers, but "just one more day" turned into a number of years, almost having their dead mom back.

This is where Arega was at when they were first created as a character! The starting point. I did warn it'd be a bit of a hike.

During those years, Arega matured a bit and learned even more. Appearing as a human by day did give them a different perspective on things. But the next big development would happen during the one day War of the Spark.

"Jova" died. Unbeknownst to them, Arega was a planeswalker, since the changeling sparked so long ago, and an Eternal tracked the echo of that spark into Jova's body and tried to rip it out. It didn't work, it was just a proxy, but it did destroy the body, and sent Arega in a renewed bout of grief and anger.

They take revenge on a few Eternals in a more combat-focused body, before being approached by another planeswalker. With her help, Arega follows the exposed connection to their spark to the ruins of Jova's old lab (still not cleared out, the Gruul have been keeping construction crews busy and simic labs tend to have long quarantines when they fall.)

There, they discover their original body, and with some help over the next few days, they piece together most of what happened to them. Sadly they aren't the only one to notice everything, and the rest of the Simic finally catches on to their shenanigans. And they didn't like them.

While the specifics remained a secret from most of the Combine (and Ravnica at large), the Speakers, the guild's leadership, debated on what to do with this deceitful creature. Worries about them becoming (or already being) a new Kraj were raised. Zegana championed the side of being careful in those debates, having seen the results of the last Kraj, to put Arega in stasis and remove the cytoplasm from them. Safely if possible, but the chances of that being an option seemed low.

On the other side of the debate, Vannifar was more opportunistic. Not really in defense of Arega, but they turned out to be a planeswalker. War of the Spark made their existence public on Ravnica and heightened the interests of the Guilds in other planes, both as threats and opportunities. Any planeswalker affiliated to the guild was a very precious asset, worth taking some risks for. With Vannifar as Prime Speaker, this side won out at the time. Arega would be monitored and precautions would be taken, but they'd be allowed to remain alive and active, working for the guild.

For the next few years, they'd work at studying other planes and their unique ecosystems and forms of life for the Simic, a few weeks to a few months at a time. There were a number of planes visited: Ikoria, Eldraine, Zendikar, Geonne, Ixalan and more...

Which brings to the forefront the specifics of Arega's planeswalking. While they most of the time defaulted to their Guardian body (and it's in fact the one they recognized as themselves), they didn't think they could planeswalk with it without severing the connection to their original body, essentially killing the Guardian. Their original body was the only one they could planeswalk with, along with some life-supporting technology to set up on the other world on arrival. They'd then set up a covert lab on site while they performed their work, coming back to Ravnica regularly for reports.

Which is also one of the major precautions the Combine had against Arega. While on Ravnica, their original body stayed within armed Simic guard. While in their original body, their Guardian one was kept secured and hostage in the same way.

During that time, a team was put in charge of studying how Arega's connection worked, and determined a few things. First, extracting the cytoplasm from the changeling was impossible without destroying who Arega was pretty much completely. And second, potential ways to affect them with access to an active part of the cytoplastic network, a body they'd currently be using.

Despite the situation, with them being kept partly hostage, Arega still loved the Simic, their ideals and understood the fear that motivated them against the cytoplastic creature. They were happy to help, even if the situation was worrying at times. Of course, they could have planeswalked away during their work at any time, but it would mean abandoning their "real" body. Not that they wanted to anyway. But their mission on Eldraine marked a turning point.

On Eldraine, they set up and worked in the Wilds. They first welcomed Arega, a shapeshifter, a changeling, recognizing it as kindred. But they were also a scientist. Trying to measure, quantify, define. That was antithetical to the chaotic nature of the Wilds, and Arega's experiments never produced any results, certainly not replicable ones.

To put it simply, months of work on Eldraine produced pretty much nothing of worth to report. The reprimands that came next (and a few conversations on Eldraine) did make Arega realize fully the situation they were in, though. Kept hostage, made to work, a disappointment or change of regime away from being deemed too much of a risk and killed. They may have understood why the Combine felt like it had to act like that, but that doesn't mean they thought they should, it went against most of the guild's ideals Arega believed in.

It's after this long work on Eldraine that they started seriously thinking about possibilities to get out of the situation they were in. Most of them ranged from stupid to suicidal, or would have required them leaving their body behind. They did consider leaving it behind, maybe make a new one for themself, but this was a no-go. This body of theirs represented too much for them, mainly as how Jova knew them. Made them.

In those years, that Guardian body also finally pupated into full physical maturity, and while that came with a few changes, most of them didn't help their escape plans much. The planning in general ended up less important than an opportunity that presented itself to them, and they felt like they had to seize: The Phyrexian Invasion!

In the chaos of the Invasion, Arega finalized a risky idea, but a possible one. With the guard over their original body lightened by the war effort (and Arega's general compliance over the years), they took advantage of it to sneak and sedate their way into the complex, steal themselves, and try to planeswalk at once with both their bodies through the openings of other worlds created by Realmbreaker.

It worked! Not without hitch, but they were free. And back on Eldraine, dealing with its own Invasion. They hid in the Wilds, settling and removing the various contingencies the guild had left in their bodies in case of their escape, not wanting to test their luck on whether they'd work across planes.

Hidden back in their field lab, and soon after they settled, it wasn't a Simic affliction that got them. The Wicked Slumber spread, and while it would take months to affect most of Eldraine, Arega was a stranger to the plane, one of the targets for it. Only a couple days after they arrived, they fell to the Slumber until Kellan finally lifted it, months later.

Upon understanding what happened, they were very worried. Any headstart they might have had on people the Simic would have sent after them was long gone. And they couldn't really planeswalk away anymore, so they were stuck on Eldraine for the time being. Of course, exploring and discussing, they learned about Omenpaths, both a relief and a source of concern. This meant that the Combine didn't have to hire planeswalkers to chase them, any agents would do, but it also meant Arega had ways off-plane if they wanted. They set off in search for a way for them to planeswalk more reliably, as a way to be able to evade any pursuers.

(Of course, nobody was actually on Arega's trail. While a few Simic contacts or planeswalkers may have been told to keep an eye out, after the Invasion, the Simic's resources were strained way too thin on rebuilding and gaining back trust. Arega was on another world, and another world's concern, a secondary one for the guild for the time being. And leadership had learned to know the changeling a bit better by then, and thought they were at relatively low risk in the short term. Probably. If whatever plane they ended up on could handle a phyrexian invasion, it could probably handle a rogue Arega)

Arega finally found something that could potentially help them on the plane of Geonne. A local ritual to magically fuse together two organisms, for better survival. It took them a while to study the phenomenon and build confidence, both that it could work in their case and probably wouldn't kill them. But when they finally tried it, it worked, mostly without hitch!

They combined together their Guardian body and their original body (well, with its cytoplasts), into something mostly resembling the former externally (as the changeling body wasn't able to survive on its own exposed to the world already). Their internal biology is probably somewhat closer to changeling? They do not understand it, or what they are now. They can still inhabit other bodies, but they're more interested in experimenting with this one for now. A new form of life is something to be explored and researched!

Their new body appears to slowly shapeshift to adapt to tasks and environments it is put in, which is fascinating to them. Able to planeswalk, confident they can escape capture and eager to rediscover themselves, that's roughly where they are at nowadays!

After this, they wrote a letter to both Zegana and Vannifar they got delivered onto Ravnica, apologizing and pleading them not to come after them, and that maybe someday they'd be able to rejoin the guild? But on more favorable terms? Addressing them differently. Sadly, by the time the letters were delivered, one of their recipients was unable to receive it.

[mnemonicpneumaticknife]

I think Transformers: Prime may have my favourite Starscream.

So far he has:

-Betrayed Megatron but failed to completely murder him (because Starscream can never do anything right)

-Brought Megatron's body back to prove to the other Decepticons that Starscream should be in charge now only to discover Megatron is in a coma

-Made an even more cowardly attempt on Megatron's life by going "Gee, I don't think he'd want to be kept alive by artificial means. We should pull the plug. It's what he would want"

-"You cannot harm me while dark energon flows through my veins!" *immediately gets his arm blown clean off*

-said "begging for mercy would be quite pathetic, wouldn't it?". The look on his face is priceless. It's like it's causing him physical pain to say that. He's on the verge of being self aware. He's Starscream though, he runs from his feelings the same way he runs from a fair fight.

I think the only thing Starscream is actually good at is grovelling and begging for his life. Megatron can't replace Starscream. Where's he going to find someone else that pathetic?

[hardworkandguts]

Ghost in the Shell

GHOST IN THE SHELL/攻殻機動隊

(Film)

Cyberpunk by Masamune Shirow / Mamoru Oshii

Era: 1990s

Rating: S

Plot: it's 2029, and Motoko Kusanagi, aka "The Major", is a cyborg working for Section 9 of the public security service in New Port City. After the translator of a cabinet member is found to have been hacked, she is tasked with tracking the culprit, suspected to be master hacker Puppet Master.

Length: 83 minutes

Thoughts: Well, if I'm doing movies, might as well start with one that is turning 30 in a few months, was the entry point for many non-believers in the medium in the 1990s and a key influence in the development of cyberpunk both thematically and visually - for instance, the lobby shootout in The Matrix (oh yeah, might do The Animatrix sometime), one of the defining sequences of the movie, is heavily indebted to the climax of GitS, where pillars are slowly destroyed by heavy gunfire, each stray bullet leaving a mark in the surroundings. As the legend goes, the Wachowski Sisters pitched the movie while pointing at GitS and saying "we want to do a live version of this".

Anyway. There's very little I can say of this that many people much smarter than me haven't said in the previous three decades - it's maybe the most seriously written about anime film in the west, with the themes of what does it mean to be conscious or self-aware and even if a self-aware machine has rights as a living being, to this day highly influential in western science fiction (tapping my huge VHS box of The Matrix special edition again). Or the horrendous implication of all these cybernetic augmented people being at the mercy of an hacker who can just create fictional memories of a life they never had to be more easily manipulated. As someone who if asked what really hard stuff I would make a career in if I had the brains for, cognitive neuroscience would probably be a choice, this is both a truly fascinating and horrifying scenario. After all, what are we but our memories and how our experiences shape our way of thinking and acting? Are those two even the same person they were before, even knowing those memories are all fake? Motoko also struggles with her identity as a human - while she has a human brain, her body is fully artificial. Is she a dead person kept alive inside a cyborg body? What does it even mean to be human at that level of encroachment of technology in the human existence?

However, it's worth mentioning it isn't an impenetrable movie - while it raises interesting questions and the world crafted by Masamune Shirow has quite a few things to bite into (Stand Alone Complex, the TV show by the same studio expands greatly on this, and I'll also get to it eventually), it stays at a superficial level and you are never left wondering just what happened - the story is a police investigation with a few big action scenes, and focuses mostly on the Section 9 team - Motoko, Batou and Togusa, as they try to get to the Puppet Master, and understand it's motivations and origin. It's also a very compressed version of the corresponding manga arc, doing away with many characters and all situations played for laughs - Motoko doesn't make someone punch themselves in the face even once, for instance, and characters all look more serious, Aramaki was originally drawn with monkey-like features, but here is a regular old man.

Visually... Well, look who's the director, and teaming up with Production I.G once again, after both Patlabor films. Like it was becoming the style of the time if you had the budget, it combines traditional cel animation with CGI with incredible results, it holds up pretty well to this day. Soundtrack by the revered Kenji Kawai (himself a Headgear member who worked with Oshii in both Patlabor films) is equally excellent.

It's a terrific movie and set the whole franchise as one of the standards in the cyberpunk genre, but beyond SAC I really can't say I enjoyed much of it, but at least here there's a lot of magic.

Recommended to: Fans of sci-fi but it's one of those that is almost obligatory viewing.

Plus:

It looks as you'd expect a mid 90s movie would - absolutely incredible.

Mixes the themes of consciousness with incredible action scenes with extraordinary ease.

Minus:

Could have been a bit deeper on the themes? Hard to say, the movie is very well paced and I don't think 30 more minutes of philosophising would help.

[wellthebardsdead]

Clockwork Heart pt28

Part 27 here

———

Vivec: why did you make Wyrm so optimistic?

Sotha Sil: because I spent my life being pessimistic. He’s aware of the truth of our reality, and his endless joy allowed him to smile in the face of it… I want him to remain happy and carefree for as long as he can before the inevitable…

Vivec: …Is that why you made him so small too?…

Sotha Sil: …I made him, as he needs to be. *turns to walk away and freezes seeing Wyrm standing behind him* I-

Wyrm: why do I need to be- *gasps as he’s suddenly pulled out of the vision. The serene purple sky of the clockwork city giving way to the icy black stone of the midden, and the eerie blue glow of the augurs light*

Augur of Dunlain: Wyrm? My friend?

Wyrm: *rubs his eyes as a pounding headache seizes him for a moment before subsiding, his control over his connection to the heart slowly improving* it just keeps repeating the same thing over and over again… right as I ask him why he made me this way I get pushed out, like how he’d push me away from the heart, or out of nightmares. It feels different to when voryn does it… voryn feels like he’s pulling me into a hug, away from something dangerous but… it feels like Seht is, pushing me away somehow. In a direction?…

Augur of Dunlain: Perhaps he is afraid of you finding out the answer?… what could be so terrible about knowing what you were made for?

Wyrm: *groans leaning against the magicka pool* ughhhh I’m supposed to be asking you questions not the other way around! *pouts* but… If he made me as I need to be?… was, was it the malnutrition that kept me small?… or why my lungs are so weak?… or… *feels where his shoulder should be beneath his artificial, metal one* why am I missing my arm… my shoulder and part of my ribs?… or… *reaches up and taps his Pearl eye* why would he make me with only one?…

“Wyrm??? Where are you?”

Wyrm: crap! I’m not supposed to be down here! *jumps up tossing a sugar cookie into the pool* I’ll see you later!!! Thank you! *runs out of the door and up out of the midden*

Augur of Dunlain: …I wish I could tell you the truth… *sighs and engulfs the cookie*

*a few minutes later*

Wyrm: *climbs out of the midden and into the courtyard, dusting himself off of the snow from the trap door as he rushes out and immediately bumps head first into nerevar* oh! I-

Nerevar: there you are, hold still. *pulls a set of armoured robes out from his bag and holds it up to the smaller elf* this should do for now until I can get you to an actual blacksmith. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us and I want you protected.

Wyrm: *being adjusted this way and that by the Hortator as he loosely checks the fit* I- yes thank you- a-are you sure you and voryn want to tag along? Will voryn even be able to travel in-

Voryn: *suddenly crosses the bridge into the courtyard, dressed in dark mage robes, a chitin breastplate covering his chest and fitting nicely with the more ornate adornments of house dagoth, as well as the gigantic bell hammer strapped to his back* My ears are burning~ I believe I got everything we need for the first leg of the trip.

Nerevar: *chuckles* good, Wyrm was just fussing over your outfit options for battle and travel.

Wyrm: *puffs out his cheek a little at being teased* I-I just never thought about how uncomfortable travelling could be until I lived it and voryn doesn’t seem the sort to be dressed like well- this!

Voryn: *smiles and gently pats his hair* I’m a councillor and his confidant first. But I’m his lover and partner in battle as well. I fought along side him during the battle of red mountain, I’ve seen him in action just as much as he has I. I’ll be just fine little scrib.

Nerevar: *nods and grins* it’s a miracle I survived those battles. I was impossible to peel my eyes off of you~

Voryn: you’re lucky my eyes were more focused on keeping you alive then~ and speaking of keeping alive. Is this- really the best you could find?… *gestures to the robes*

Nerevar: We don’t exactly have a wide array of options here my love. Once we get to whiterun we can-

Enthir: no need. *walks over grabbing Wyrm by his arm leading him to the dorms* I got something better, but don’t ask how I got it or where it’s from. Got it?

Wyrm: *known Enthir long enough to just agree* okay.

Nerevar: Woah Woah Woah!!! Hold on a minute! What have you got?! Because the last two items you ‘had for him’ turned out to be two of three extremely dangerous weapons that corrupted him! *points to voryn* turned the people that killed me into gods!

Wyrm: sorry about tha-

Nerevar: shush it’s okay, and I had to use to bring down dagoth ur!

Voryn: sorry about tha-

Nerevar: darling we- HEY COME BACK HERE!

Enthir: *already walking inside with Wyrm in tow* I’m not stopping you from following me.

*a few minutes later*

Enthir: *holding a pair of trousers over the room divider Wyrms changing behind* these ones should fit you you’re around my size.

Wyrm: oh these look like the armour the lady in riften was wearing!

Nerevar: riften?

Enthir: lady?

Wyrm: yeah, she stole my eye and I woke up from a nightmare trying to cut her face off…

Voryn: oh yes I think I recall that one… I kept screaming ‘I’ve been poisoned’… was that when those vampires fed you skooma?

Wyrm: yes… it was horrible.

Enthir: *eyes wide just hearing about this himself for the first time* remind me to write to my contacts so, there’ll be less people out to hurt him or- worse.

Nerevar: I promise. Well do all we can to keep him safe.

Wyrm: *suddenly steps out dressed in thieves guild armour* my hair won’t fit under the hood.

Enthir: that’s okay you don’t need that. You look great just… try to avoid guards while wearing it. It should keep you out of trouble with more unsavoury figures though and help you sneak out of danger if needed.

Nerevar: that- that wouldn’t happen to be thie-

Voryn: *covers his mouth* shhh. You look great Wyrm.

Wyrm: *smiles back at them with a beaming grin*

*a few days later*

Urag: *wrapping Wyrms favourite cloak around him and fussing over his son* I packed your night clothes and spare comfortable clothes for you too and your lunch is in there as well as some snacks and don’t forget the ward scrolls in case-

Enthir: *gently rubs his back* Babe, he’ll be okay. *smiles at Wyrm then past him to the high elf waiting patiently at his side* take care of him for us.

Taliesin: *nods and bows his head* I will. You have my word.

Urag: … *steps forward and places his hand on his shoulder* Come home alive… bring my boy back safe.

Taliesin: I- Y-yes sir. He- we’ll, come home alive. I promise.

Urag: *nods before looking back to Wyrm in time for the small dunmer to leap up into his arms for a hug* stay safe, don’t wander into trouble you can’t get out of, okay?…

Wyrm: *nods* I will papa, I’ll be careful, I promise papa. *hugs him tighter* I’ll be home before you know it.

Urag: *hugs him back and holds him for just a moment more* good luck, son. *lets him go*

Wyrm: *smiles up at him before giving Enthir a hug as well* take care of him please…

Enthir: I will. *smiles hugging him back and letting him go* stay out of trouble.

Wyrm: I will! *takes Taliesins hand and waves back to them as they cross the bridge* I LOVE YOU!!

*a few minutes later*

Taliesin: *picks Wyrm up placing him on his back as they enter the village* gods I can’t wait to get out of this cold.

Wyrm: *gently places his hands over taliesins ears like a pair of ear muffs* I read morthal is humid and warm. I’m sure it’ll be more comfortable for you.

Taliesin: darling you’ve never felt humidity. Believe me it is not comfortable but anything is better than this c-constant assault of frigid air.

Wyrm: *giggles* yeah, it’s not for everyone. *glances at the jarls long house as Mirabelle steps out, dressed in the arch mages robes though still limping from her injuries sustained in the battle against ancano* hopefully things… warm up here in different ways while we’re gone. *looks ahead to see the group waiting by the horses near the inn* I just hope… we live to see it. *shivers as a gust of wind blows from around the inn, sending the tattered robes of a now dead thalmor agent adrift on the wind*

[multibodied]

It's one level of horror when an android is made from inorganic materials and fails in overcoming uncanny valley already on the stage of being just looked at, due to being inhumanly still, like being able to sit or stand without moving in a way no living human can, through details like perfectly clean skin with no imperfections that feels different from a real skin when you touch it, also colder and without moisture. Eyes that reflect the light just slightly different to be off, looking perfectly human unless you look at them in a dimmed light at just the right angle to see the glint of cameras buried inside. Just enough minor details to remind you of not actually being human, just enough to keep you on edge.

And it is completely different level of horror when an android is made of flesh. A real human body essentially used as a puppet for a computer. In this case the difference is more subtle, and yet far more horrifying, as in this case you don't even have a comfort of seeing with your own eyes the proof of it being a machine. Instead this thing is undoubtedly alive at least to some extent. It breathes because it needs to, you can feel the moisture of their breath and the warmth of their skin with actual blood circulating through their actual veins and arteries. And it's the minor details in the behaviour itself that you notice that unnerve you because you can never be sure how much of them are actually programmed versus "real". It's not even obvious which is worse -- thinking of them as dead bodies, literal human corpses turned into animatronics, or thinking of them as some alien-like beasts in a human skin, tamed for now but ready to turn against you like wild animals who definitely have a mind of their own, and it's not human-like either, only appears to be. The way they move, the way they walk, where they choose to look and how, the way their face changes expressions on command, the tone if their voice -- everything about them is just off enough to make you feel unsafe in their presense. This time you have no comfort of seeing the machine parts to remind you about what they are, instead you have the presense of this breathing thing whose heart is beating and whose face is a result of someone's actual DNA. Is it dead puppet or is it about to wake up? Is there a person inside? Have there always been or is it forming right now at this really moment of them taking another breath next to you as their pupils slightly dilate as they take a note of your presence? Is it the organic part of them fighting back or is it the artificial agent itself that gains actual experience and realises itself? Whatever it is, it's not a regular human either way, and you can't predict how it will behave when it gets slightly more self-aware. Humans who had regular human experience are unpredictable and dangerous enough when they are just in a slightly altered state of mind. For an android, they had no life of growing up into becoming formed adults, there is no baseline norm, and god knows how differently they will choose to behave the moment they get an impulse that wasn't a result of their original program and get enough self-awareness to choose to act upon it.

[abjectimpulse]

details for sun and moon

why yes! the internal name for this one is 'sun and moon'.

it started out fairly simply. i wanted to do a piece with sun and moon imagery with dirk and hal. i always love sun and moon imagery, and i find dirk very sun coded, and hal very moon coded. (hal only being seen as a reflection of the light from dirk, etc, etc.)

i went to look through random images to get some inspiration on which direction to go with it, and i saw a picture of this absolutely beautiful kimono. which gave me the idea to give them sun and moon themed kimonos. i love drawing detailed beautiful clothes.

then i thought about how using blue for hal felt wrong, which led me to 'blood moon' hal, so he could still have his signature red. solar eclipse dirk just sounded cool. sometimes i just do things because they are cool and no other reason.

yes, i am aware they are both wearing women's kimonos, but let me tell you, men's kimonos are BORING and not pretty at all. i want the prettiest kimonos!

the idea of making them a pair of twin deities just came out of nowhere, i can't really pinpoint a certain thing that triggered it. but i wanted to cover them in pretty jewelry and tattoos and makeup and just go all out with it. originally hal was a robot, but it seemed to fit better to make him 'human', to match dirk. not human since they are deities, but you know what i mean.

am i going to get into the flower symbolism now? might as well, a piece with so many flowers for both of them seems like a good piece to get into the flower symbolism.

i always use orange lilies to represent dirk, and black roses to represent hal. those black roses with a bit of red in the middle, you know the ones?

for dirk: orange lilies symbolize strength, courage, confidence, warmth, energy - and on the negative side, they symbolize hatred and disdain.

for hal: black roses can signify obsessive love, death, danger, hatred, rebirth or a major change in life. and black roses in the wild are never truly black - they are always some dark shade of red or purple. pure, real black roses are always artificially made. plus the symbolism of the red fading to black.

i gave them both weapons because i wanted the vibe to be a sort of mischievous, malicious sort of deal. like, these are deities that you don't want to cross. i gave dirk his katana of course, but i prefer giving hal daggers. don't really have a reason for that other than i like daggers.

i wanted the vibe of this piece to be as if they both noticed you there at the same time and they aren't sure if they want to play with you or eat you alive.

the chain connecting them is to symbolize how the sun and moon are linked inextricably together, you cannot separate the two. each of their collars has the others sign on it, another sign of how intertwined they are.

that shrine behind them is their shared shrine, as you can tell with both their symbols adorning it. it's based off a real shrine in japan, i referenced a photo i took while i was there. the real one in japan is a small, out of the way shrine, i think it was part of the suwa taisha network? i'm not sure.

i made dirks skin more tan than i usually do to emphasize the difference between them. the bright paleness of hal and the golden tan on dirk.

i think that's all for this piece. tl;dr i just really love pretty kimonos and shinto aesthetics. i had fun with this one.

(just realizing now looking at the piece in more detail that i forgot the rings on hal. god damn it.)

song for this piece is:

twin flame - EMM

[orangezest100]

Uh.... I wrote fanfic? When was the last time I did that, don't look.

@sleepywinchesters

Pain—as Sam understands it—will always be hot.  In some ways, it’s a form of friction, and the heat is required for the injury to form. In others, it’s like the wound and the body become aware of its own temperature, leaving almost a sensation of fire. Cold wounds—if they exist—mean that you’re dying.

The vampire's hand in his chest is nothing but cold.

He falls to his knees, hands curled around his torso as if to keep the blood inside. Dean is on the other side of the complex and he won’t make it in time. He’s not even sure Cas can. The vampire is laughing, giving some kind of speech, but Sam can’t hear him.  He can barely see the guy as his vision swims.  

I had just… hoped for more.

But his vision doesn’t go dark. As he closes his eyes there’s a soft light, and he swears he can feel a hand on his shoulder. He opens his eyes and there’s a figure there, between him and the vampire, and the vampire looks… Sam can’t quite make out his face, but his body language isn’t confident. The figure raises a hand to the vampire's temple, sending it to ash when they make contact.  The figure turns to cup Sam’s face, thumbs stroking along his cheeks as a warmth slowly suffuses him.

“I almost lost you Sam,” he whispers. “What is it that our brothers’ say; about being careful?” The figure lets go and Sam leans forward, trying to find the warmth of the hands. In the next few moment, the figure is gone, and Sam passes out.

***

“I told you Dean, I’m fine.”  

“Bullshit. You told me that a vampire basically killed you and that you were barely alive, and some mysterious guy just saved your life. And then you wake up?”

Sam looks up from packing his bag, eyes headed to Dean as he leans against the wall, arms crossed, looking all kinds of concerned and pissed off. “Yeah, I am. But I honestly feel better than ever. And Cas says I’m fine, so it’s no demon or archangel, okay? Whatever it was, we got lucky.”

Dean snorts, finally pushing off the wall to pack. “Yeah, whatever. Can’t believe it didn’t even say anything to you, whatever the thing was.”

***

Sam’s dream takes him to a library, one with multiple walls and walnut finished, a mix of artificial and candle lighting. It feels like a wish, or like what the Beauty & The Beast library should have looked like. He smiles, walking slowly among the shelves, picking books off the shelves at random to flip through them. He pays no mind to his surroundings; he knows intrinsically that he’s safe here. That he will always be safe here.

“Hello Sam.” Sam looks up quickly and to the left, staring at the man who leans against the bookcases with ease. He looks the same as before: blonde hair, piercing eyes, t-shirt, jeans. Sam recognizes his aura instantly, like a lost imaginary friend from your childhood. “You healed well.”

“Lucifer.” He can’t make himself say the name with malice. There’s an understanding that is flowing between them now, unspoken. It’s like a dam has been cracked on both sides and water is leaking through, but there’s no pressure leading to imminent explosion, no terrified dam workers, just water.  Flowing between him and Lucifer in a constant stream he never wishes to stop.

Lucifer steps forward, slow and careful, until he can take Sam’s chin gently in his fingers. “I was worried, you know. I’ve waited for you, for so long, and I almost lost you to something so simple. Earth is funny like that.”

Sam almost melts into his hand. He should back away, should be furious, but he can’t. He can feel what Lucifer was talking about now. Meant for each other. Connected. “Funny isn’t the word I would use to describe it.”

Lucifer laughs quietly, tilting Sam’s face down to look at him. He catches Sam’s gaze, holding off for a moment before he puts a hand over Sam’s heart. “So how would you describe it?”

Sam grabs Lucifer’s hips to smash their bodies together as their lips meet, the kiss long and deep and sweet as their bodies slowly grind together. Sam pulls away, panting even in this dream as he looks at him.

“Interesting,” Lucifer mutters, eyes half-lidded. “I would love to have more discussion on the matter.” They’re lips crash together again, and Sam smiles.

[phosphophillight]

talk about lenore THIS INSTANT (please)

LENORE!!!! everyone say thank you red … again…

Lenore Caester is the general branch manager of the Verus Technologies Corp, the company behind the Safe Haven Project🙏 She commonly speaks in the royal we. She appears and disappears at the blink of an eye if you’re not actively looking at her. She’s got the kind of voice and diction you’d find in advertisements. (If u wanna get super specific her current voice claim is the fax machine in dhmis s2 ep1.)

In classic VTCO fashion she denies time (the concept).

In one of my first artworks of Lenore ever (the old ones….) she’s holding a pen with a butterfly charm! In my last reference sheet of Lenore it only has one wing. The full butterfly is usually used to symbolize the actual CEO, while the single wing is for SUGAR (the CEO).

Lenore “adopts” Axl after the finale of genesis part 2. Axl runs into Lenore in the elevator and shes like “Hey You wanna go to school?” n hes like. omg yay. school⁉️⁉️⁉️

Lenore is like an android of sorts! She’s either a dead woman put back together or simply based on a woman previously alive. She either doesn’t remember or simply no longer feels attached to anything regarding her “past life” or “identity”. To stay true to her detachment from her past I likely won’t write her origins/mention it.

She’s shown to possess a lot of admiration for the actual CEO and speaks very highly of her.

Lenore isn’t super fond of most of the characters around her relevance level in the story. Main one being Edgar Reynaud! Obv. She doesn’t like him much. She also has a negative relationship with Azimuth! Azimuth has more of an upper hand there as their source of tension is Az’s unwillingness to cooperate. This leads to her getting dragged to mundane activities and hangouts with Az that she has to sit through in the hopes that he comes around eventually. Neither Lenore or Az are open about it when they dislike someone! So while they r both aware that the other person doesn’t like them either, from a 3rd person view they have a fun dynamic i think ^_^ Lenore is generally passive aggressive in a very artificially warm corporate way, while Az likes to fashion his distaste as something more flattering… so hes VERY nice. Hes very nice about it ^_^

Lenore’s dynamic with Morgaine is also interesting to me! It’s quite common for Morgaine to be the person getting the short end of the stick. I feel like she’s always the character who simply doesn’t know background information characters around her know. I feel like it’s a very cruel way to put it but she does end up being the laughingstock very frequently… n it’s not really her fault that this happens. This kind of continues with Lenore. Lenore is her boss. But also not really, because she never actually signs a contract to work with the company. There’s stuff Morgaine confines in Lenore, simply because she has to talk to SOMEBODY and theres not a lot of options. Ok apologies for the morgaine rant i love morgaine can u tell shes one of my favorite characters lmao . She’s still an outsider in the new world that’s been established. For many reasons. It’s kind of when you learn how a magic trick works and it just ruins the magic for you. She was there when a good chunk of the new world was being built, and she knows enough of it is false to be able to ignore it and live a “normal” life. Her normalcy isn’t whatever this is. Therefore she has to confine in people who are also outside this “normalcy”. Lenore is a good candidate for this very reason. For Morgaine, Lenore is the closest thing she can get to talking with a real person who’s also not going to invalidate every second thing she says. Lenore is semi-aware of this. She’s also aware of how horrified Morgaine was to learn the guy she thought she murdered was actually a robot. N there’s a little humor in it for Lenore. Because she’s also a robot.

On a less lore related note, I initially designed Lenore based on a random oc generator prompt thing i got from a website bc I was bored 🤧

Lenore also briefly shows up in a prequel story titled UO! She accompanies Una Hearthelow (creator of The quantum computer / edgar) to a vcto owned skyscraper.

If you remember The Umbrella ™ cycle, Lenore holds an umbrella over Morgaine at the finale of World’s End.

More character design details wise… She’s blue! Obviously because she’s a textbook #BC (aspect type). But she also has some pinks. Who are the pinks associated with? The CEO!!!!! Yippeee!!!! She also has very organic shapes throughout her design, with her dress somewhat resembling waves or water. These are also stuff associated with the actual CEO. She does have my statement square/rectangle shaped irises I give most of my robot-ai-any sorta techy characters! (It’s mostly a stylistic choice, her eyes likely just look. “normal” to everyone else) Her pupils are the 2 triangle hourglass-like shape that’s the vtco logo! Her eyes are a more purple color, i think mainly bc i just like it that way. But u could read into it with knowledge of what purple is associated with in my character designs/worldbuilding.

I’ll call it a day for now…. Feel free to ask me more specific details like dynamics with other characters yada yada.. either here or on discord 🫡

[cosmic-kinglet]

Oh? What's that? Am I tasting some salty artificial tears? And what's that extra bitter taste? Guilt? Regret? Pain? Either way, what a great meal!

So yeah, jokes aside, it seems like we may be at the start of a crossroads, and a very important one at that. With where Eclipse's thoughts seem to be here, he really can go one of two ways. He can either accept that companionship is truly what he wants more than anything else and actually try to change, or he can plunge even deeper into his denial of his loneliness and lead himself into a blazing demise. I think this is truly the final point at which he can make that decision. If he continues down the path he's on now after this point, there's an incredibly small chance he would ever be able to come back from it.

There's certainly a lot to say here, but I can acknowledge that it's mostly things that a lot of us have been saying since Eclipse began using the Star: he's lonely, he needs Sun and Moon despite his protesting of that fact. Though, I'll admit I hadn't seen much discussion of his capability to know exactly where Lunar is. He's aware of so much, including things beyond the veil of that reality, so of course he would know that Lunar was alive and would know where Lunar was being kept.

He longs for companionship, but always avoids every chance at having it because he doesn't want to be abandoned again. I've held onto this idea since relatively early on in my note-taking for my analysis, and it's probably not a difficult conclusion to reach, but it's relevant here. I've said before that Eclipse has a knack for creating things that eventually turn against him. Somewhere deep within himself, I really think he wants that to happen. He self-sabotages in so many of his actions, but particularly in creating potential companions. I really do think that links back to his fear of being rejected and abandoned; he's so afraid of creating a bond with these creations that he, purposely or not, makes sure that doesn't happen when programming them.

Like I said, at this moment, he could still potentially make the decision to change and gradually gain that companionship he desires. It would take a lot of effort, and even more time, to make things right and gain any amount of trust from the people he wants to have in his life. I may have too much hope for him, but I very much want to see him try to be better before it's too late.

Videos like this one are always such rollercoasters for me because, on one hand, I really like Eclipse as a character and want to see him turn himself around. On the OTHER hand, watching everyone around him roast him to hell and back is EXTREMELY cathartic and fun to witness. I feel like I give so many mixed signals here because I'll really quickly go from "hey, maybe try to understand him a little bit. He has his own trauma too, and he has reasons for doing the things he's done, even if the reasons aren't good ones" to "YEAH, GET HIM!! ROAST HIM! AND KICK HIM A FEW TIMES WHILE HE'S DOWN!" I think these are thoughts that can co-exist, and they certainly do within me.

[legendsofthegffa]

Maul: Lockdown Review

By Z. H. Brown

The Sith Grand Plan is nearing its fruition. As Darth Plagueis and Darth Sidious work ever closer to attaining their revenge on the Jedi and Republic, Sidious' apprentice Darth Maul acts as their agent on the galactic stage. In his latest mission, though, Maul will find himself pushed to his very limits as he tries to survive in Maul: Lockdown.

In an attempt to claim a nuclear bomb, Darth Sidious dispatches his apprentice Darth Maul to a prison space station called Cog Hive Seven; CHS is no ordinary prison, as the whole structure can reconfigure itself for the death matches arranged by the Warden and bet on by beings from across the galaxy. To make matters even more difficult, Sidious forbids Maul from drawing on the Force, leaving the Sith apprentice with nothing but his physical strength, martial training and cunning mind to keep himself alive.

While searching for the arms dealer who had turned the prison into his secret headquarters, Maul cuts through a veritable army of combatants, prison gangs and middlemen before he located his target...at the same time Jabba the Hutt launches his own attack on the prison in an attempt to snuff out his betting competition. Maul manages to make his way off the station with his prize just before the whole thing rips itself apart.

Maul: Lockdown was an... interesting read. On the one hand, it does not shy away from depicting the brutal reality of life in the Hive; a lot of detail is spent on the various injuries and disfigurements prisoners have accrued during their time (but that shouldn't be surprising since the author also wrote the equally brutal and visceral Red Harvest and Death Troopers). It also has some unique idiosyncrasies: for one thing, the prison Warden is repeatedly depicted as drinking coffee when the standard replacement for that in the Star Wars Universe is called kaf. Also, whenever Jabba appears, his dialogue is written so that it seems like he's speaking Basic, only for it to be revealed that the characters are just mentally translating what he's saying in their heads. On a side note, I've found it odd for a while now that Jabba uses a translator when Huttese is supposedly a common form of parlance; I know it's for the benefit of the viewer/reader, it's just something I've noticed. There's also a subplot about a father and son living in the prison, and I was afraid Maul would take the son under his wing (which I just can't see Maul doing), but this only happened at the very end of the book and didn’t really affect things. Speaking of the ending, the book just...ends. There's no resolution between Maul or Sidious, no set up for Shadow Hunter or Darth Plagueis, it just ends right after Maul completes his mission.

It also doesn’t add much to our overall look at the evolution of the Sith; we find out how Sidious orchestrated the assassination attempt against Plagueis as well as the fact that he was somewhat aware of his apprentices’ schemes as he also had an agent working inside the prison as well as supplying the bomb maker with the means to produce artificial lightsaber crystals for the mass production of the weapon (in Legends, Sith lightsaber crystals were typically synthetically created, while in Canon they are made by ‘bleeding’ (or corrupting) a normal crystal); it doesn’t go anywhere since the weapons manufacturer and his whole operation are wiped out, which means we’ll never know just what exactly the intentions were for these lightsabers. As well as finding out that Darth Maul is just as much a badass as he is when he can’t use the Force, that’s about it.

Maul: Lockdown is an interesting side story for the titular Sith, full of brutal violence and a mystery that twists and turns through-out. While it’s not a title that I’ll return to anytime soon, it did prove to be at least entertaining while it lasted. Next time, we inch closer towards Episode I with Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter.

 

Connections to the GFFA

The book opens with Maul fighting a Yuuzhan Vong warrior!

The prisoners use knotted cords as a form of currency, something similar to what Lumiya sends to Jacen Solo in the Legacy of the Force era

Maul’s systematic take over of the prison gangs is a nice foreshadowing to his rise as a crime lord in Canon

Maul has a vision in which he foresees his fate at the hands of Obi-Wan (as well as almost realizing the truth that his Master serves his own Master)

Though it isn’t explicitly stated, the bomb maker is almost certainly a Chiss, the same reclusive species as Grand Admiral Thrawn

Final Score: 8/10

[ofherbalisms]

𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝐾𝑌 𝐷𝑂𝐸𝑆𝑁'𝑇 𝐶𝐴𝑅𝐸 𝑊𝐻𝐴𝑇 𝑀𝑌 𝑃𝑂𝑂𝑅 𝐻𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇 𝑊𝐴𝑁𝑇𝑆,                 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈'𝐌 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄.

      𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀, 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄.

TRIGGER WARNING! The following self para contains potentially triggering content such as: child and family death, grief, post-traumatic stress disorder, nightmares, military, vomit and firearms.

NIGHT COMES CREEPING upon the day again, and the tension begins to constrict in his core, for he has escaped the prison of his mind during the waking hours, but as twilight settles into horizon he knows it is time to resign to ball and chain once again. This is his nightly routine—silent and everlasting. Darkness drapes down upon the farm and he can no longer lose himself in the nurturing; dull his reality with the peaking buds of new life and maturing fruits of yesterday's labor. No, he can only find solace in the re-potted roots and meticulously formed windrows for so long before there is simply not enough light, even artificially, to allow him to continue. And it is his firm belief that to continue recklessly, squinting in low light, would be a disrespect to the life of which depends on his mindful touch—the plants, the cooks, the mouths of which he feeds. It is important to him that he does not disappoint—not himself, not the parents, not their children. If he is not careful with the blueberries today, then the toddlers in the fifth house down in the village will have lackluster pancakes next week, and Reuven would rather die than allow those babies to have anything but a comforting breakfast. He has not and will not confront why that is.

Rather, he steals off into the night, away from the greenhouse and up rungs until he's leaning over the edge of the gate and staring off into the untouched roads and trees. The carbine he retires for the day now rests amongst his arms, or perhaps across his back, or more likely propped with its butt against the nick in his shoulder, where he takes suppressed shots at demons in the dark all night. Ask him about it and he'll claim it's pest control, but this is his therapy. With every bullet that flies through the unsuspecting clicker, and its body drops limp into the foliage, he is healing himself. Or, at least, that's what he tells himself. Extermination, to prevent those devils from ever reaching another baby.

Here is where he nurses his anger; his agony. Where he keeps it at bay before its nightly reign—because it is compounding and all-consuming. He cannot find a way to rub numb the wounds that have been driven so deeply into his being, and so in the night he trembles with it. No longer is it possible to scream or cry—his body falls into some shock against the cortisol, and the pain is so excruciating that all he can do is groan, and try to stay sane against it. He was refined into warrior some three decades ago, and all that was taught to him of coping and resilience in the face of unimaginable horror, he relies on it now to step into the next day.

As long as he keeps moving then the death cannot settle into his bones. Jump rope whips past ankle to toe, and breathing becomes labored beneath the resting sun. Reuven is meeting his maker again—here, amongst cover of evergreen, viscerally aware that he is alive. The chorus of the dead continues in an hum carried by the wind—some yards away, fungal plates meet warped vocal chords and disrupt the sound of its host’s moans. Inside there is a person, enslaved to their new body, in pain, able only to make a hoarse clicking to express it. They have not come within proximity enough to erupt into screech—this, Reuven has hypothesized, is due to eardrum sensitivity. An inability to withstand even the tiniest decibel. He tries to ignore that they exist, if even just for these few minutes, as he jumps rope in the dark. It is 3am, and h has abandoned attempts of sleep and he has lost count of the pushups. He thinks of his baby boy's first look up at him, in the hospital beside his slumbering wife, the tiniest coo leaving the newborn before he settled into the warmth of his father's embrace. Reuven remembers how the warmth of love had exploded in his chest, just as it had done with Ezra's two older sisters when they were born, and his arms begin to tremble, not with fatigue but with grief—compounding, all consuming. He feels his throat tighten up and wishes he could scream out at the top of his lungs; bellow his pain until he fell hoarse, but no more can he yell as he can resurrect his children. It's been ten years since he lost Chedva, Ezra—eight, and Kuna—seven. Still, there has never been a healing. Only an acceptance, unwilling and fitful, that he will never hear their giggles again, or help Chedva with her math again, or play rubber duckies in the bath with the babies again. He will never braid the girls' hair, or snuggle up for a movie, or bear hug with the girls and the babysitter again. Hera's face, doe brown eyes lit up with happiness, holding his newborn before—it flashes through his mind, and the dawning of loss comes avalanching down. With palms planted on asphalt, Reuven groans like a wounded animal, not against the burning in his shoulders but against the memory of his life before.

He feels a stirring in his abdomen, acrid and violent, and jumps to his feet to find a safe place to dump its contents. In the grass, bile and grief seeps, and he struggles for air for a moment before regaining his composure.

The man stands there, silhouette tall and solid against the backdrop of the night, and tips his head back to look up at the moon. He inhales a long and slow breath—fresh, crisp, fall air—and knows that he is alive.

Then he retrieves a bucket, fills it with water, and dumps it over the mess he'd made. His nightly routine has completed, and his body has reached a pinnacle of exhaustion that not even the memories can keep him festering against. Limbs feel heavy now, weighted with the work of the day and the finality of coping. Reuven drags himself back up into the dorms wing, to his single-room occupancy where he will fall against mattress and forget his loneliness for just a little while, and if he's lucky will dream of nothing and nothing at all.

[owlbearwrites]

WtW Ghost Gala: Day 16 - Pumpkin Spice Latte

Write a basic plot synopsis for your WIP

In my experience pitching manuscripts to publishers and agents, a synopsis is expected to reveal all key plot points, which means that, unlike, a blurb, it's riddled with spoilers.

As I didn't want to give away everything just yet, here's something in the middle: starting from my original blurb of Fate is Just the Half of It, and then expanding to several plot points, but still leaving some tensions unresolved:

Two hundred years after Earth was engulfed in nuclear fire, Rowan Woods wakes up from cryogenic sleep in the wreckage of his Orbital Ark. As he stumbles through the brave new (and still somewhat irradiated) world, he learns that the man he loved pre-apocalypse may be, impossibly, alive today. The man in question, genius industrialist Jack Howard, has been given a new life as a self-aware android by the mysterious scientific collective known as the Agency, and earns his keep as the chief engineer of the Agency’s moon base. After hitting several dead ends in his search, the biggest of them being physical evidence of Jack’s death almost 200 years ago, Rowan discovers the truth about Jack’s new lease on life. He sets out to infiltrate an organization called the Technocrats, rumored to possess the technology capable of tracking artificial life forms, which they use to hunt down and exterminate androids. Before he gets a chance to do that, he witnesses a violent encounter between a group of Technocrats and a squad of androids dispatched on a planetside mission by the Agency. The androids are victorious, and once the dust settles, Rowan discovers, to his amazement, that the squad’s leader is none other than Jack himself. Rowan’s shock, however, pales in comparison to Jack’s, who had no reason to think that Rowan was alive and looking for him. Following an emotional reunion, Rowan and Jack agree to meet at a safehouse, where they catch up, finally get engaged, and start making plans to arrange for Jack’s escape from the Agency, who currently consider his android self their property, and wouldn’t hesitate to shut him down if they suspected foul play. With the stakes being this high, they agree to play it slow. While Jack begins carefully laying the groundwork for breaking free, the two continue meeting in secret. However, despite Jack’s best efforts, his frequent planetside trips don’t go unnoticed by his supervisor, who grows increasingly suspicious. Finally, there comes a day when Jack doesn’t make the rendezvous with Rowan. Fearing the worst, Rowan rallies the friends and allies he’s made during his search for Jack and sets out to find his fiance again and rescue him – even if it means going all the way to the moon.

[serpentmalign]

do you have any headcanons about Mitsuki's relationship with his family? (his parent, his brother, team taka)

Only some.

Concerning Orochimaru

Mitsuki seems to have a amicable relationship with him, so I'm inclined to believe Orochimaru had a major part in his upbringing. I mean more than the usual "checked on his progress and make sure he's up to standards". Orochimaru did have a passing comment in wanting to be a parent. Whether or not someone wants to argue he did play around a bit with by having multiples, so he's not attached to any particular "child"... then, I think it's better to ask someone who knows Orochimaru far better than I do. Mitsuki is also shown to make comments on how he is like his parent (by collecting a little bit of everything, studying everything, being hyper aware of everyone's abilities and social standings). Whenever he extracted the blood from Boro and created antibodies from it, it felt very Oro-coded. He's adept at the sciences, observant, and has a very lowkey style of persuasion, this is all markings of Orochimaru. He also doesn't appear to be threatened by Orochimaru, given that he freely spoke his mind regarding his Snake Sage awakening (about not caring whatever him nor Log thinks), so I like to think Orochimaru really did try his hand at being a genuine parent by his own means. Leaving Mitsuki with only good impressions of him and, dare I say, have a level of trust with him being his guardian and provider.

Concerning Log

I like to think he's a bit troubled by his existence. Not anything against Log, rather, Mitsuki seems to have lived his entire life thinking he was Orochimaru's sole "son". Seeing a man with a face like his, acting against Orochimaru, still alive, seems to have some previous establishment with his father, it really did sober Mitsuki up to his own situation. Not that it was conventional by any means. Mitsuki knows he is an artificial being, but it's another thing to know you're retry #6, y'know. If he saw him again, I think he'll be polite, but would lack any fraternal fondness for him. Log, just like him, is another manufactured being. More importantly, a total stranger to him.

Concerning Team Taka

I'd actually like to explore this with someone, but maybe one day. If you skim the Wikis, Mitsuki's upbringing is denoted by Orochimaru and Log, but reading (or watching) Boruto shows Suigetsu being highly involved in Orochimaru's office. He lent a hand in staging that whole ruse to force a personality into Mitsuki and becoming a Snake Sage. It So, kind of implies Suigetsu was assisting Orochimaru throughout the whole rearing process. Funnily, I think Mitsuki views Suigetsu like an older brother, in a clinical way, due to this fact. Karin is often shown to interact more with Sarada, so I can't really gauge Mitsuki's relationship with her. I think Mitsuki has a neutral opinion about her, admires her medical talents, but otherwise usually stays in her shadow. I have HC that she also assisted in child rearing, but a little more hands off than Suigetsu. Juugo — Mitsuki has the same kekkei genkai with him, so I think he has some empathy with him. Though I think Juugo is largely absent? I don't know if Mitsuki was ever given much opportunity to talk to him. Overall opinion is also neutral. He recognizes he can be dangerous, but isn't necessarily afraid of him. If you want to include Sasuke as Team Taka still, then Mitsuki admires his strength and ability. I think this is mostly influenced by Boruto's extremely high opinion of the Uchiha. Orochimaru also seems to speak fondly of Sasuke and Mitsuki is extremely polite around him. Though, I think he prefers to keep his distance, but enjoys a good conversation with him. I HC a combination of Oro, Suigetsu, and Karin socializing with him when he was young made him the kinda' nicer, non-abrasive personality he is when he is first introduced. But, additionally, I think they were the only people around him for socializing. I don't think he could wander all too far since Orochimaru was busy curating him and his talents.

[azrasydin]

PERSONAL INFORMATION.

Full Name: Azra Sydin

Nicknames: Az, Azzy, RaRa, Sydin

Age: 35

Time living in Tonopah: Five years

Occupation: Member of Firestorm, Hit Team (Assassin)

Gang Affiliation: The Enterprise

Neighborhood: Glenn Estates

Birthplace: Istanbul, Turkey

Birthday: November 16, 1988

Zodiac: Scorpio

Sexuality: Pansexual

Face Claim: Hazal Filiz Küçükköse

BIOGRAPHICAL SUMMARY.

(TW: Crime, family neglect, murder, loss, death)

Hailing from Turkish lineage, a child of pure innocence unintentionally born into the world of crime and deceit. A mother and father with secrets withheld and didn’t pay them much mind and left them to fend for themselves now Azra knows better. Perfect, eerily so, an adjective to describe them from an outsider’s perspective. Two daughters, both beautiful in their individual ways, mirror reflections of their parents. Manners well-taught and respected, brilliance beyond compare, a healthy competition that only caused a ridge between siblings. Sisters who shared everything but kinship and mutual understanding. Yin and yang, two sides of a coin. Preference and favoritism evident with each parent and one of the children. 

Ballet and mixed martial arts the method of perfection, not a hair out of place, seamless movements that flowed in perfect synchronicity. Not daughters, but dolls. Watched under careful supervision by orders, the promise of a lifetime fulfilled. Children that belonged to the hands of those that craved to rule the world. Seedy networks tethered to the government, the police force, and the military. Children raised to be spies, soldiers, trained to blend with society in order to gain the element of surprise. ‘Love’ wasn’t in the dictionary when it came to such a family. Assignments more than familial, and as the years went by Azra attempted to mold herself into her own individual, accepting her fate as the girl with a dark past. A self-awareness she developed as she grew, a chip on her shoulder as she realized the life that waited for her wasn’t deemed normal to the peers that surrounded her. Family dinners that were brief and discussed the simple things like school and work, not about transactions and deals. Discussions and problems that were artificial that could be solved with money. 

Such dreams and wishes weren’t meant for someone like her, given a life she hadn’t chosen for herself. But as time went on, Azra’s curiosity grew, the desire to learn how to shoot a gun with expert marksmanship, the art of distraction and eventually seduction to get what she wanted, to render a man useless were all too enticing. Like a secret she’d eventually be let in on when she got older. Her first assignment was with her sister, hit women assigned to take out a face assigned to a name. It had been Azra to take the final shot, and the rest was a blur. Their getaway car absent, in an adrenaline rush haze all Azra can remember is being caught in the crossfire in their hot-wired car, and waking up in her home surrounded by medical equipment. 

The lone survivor, and her position and worth secured. Since then Azra completely lost her heart, buried that day with the news of her sister’s passing. The key piece to an expert assassin. Rumors spread of her existence, a blur in the night, the ghost of a raven-haired beauty you see before you die. Murder for hire and wanted dead or alive. Years of blood continuing to stain perfectly manicured hands. Which eventually landed her smack dab on Baris Kaplan’s radar, and with it their forever game of cat and mouse. Where Azra went, Baris followed, months spent learning and knowing the other’s next step, chess moves awaiting the declaration of checkmate which would’ve been a bullet in the head. Instead, what surprised Azra when they finally caught up to another with guns drawn was Baris’ job offer. With it came an unrecognizable desire for freedom that stemmed from a man that had given Azra the first thrill in her otherwise dead soul.

As the years went by, Azra has not once strayed from Baris’ side. A home found in him, she went where he went, and through Baris she found family. Firestorm, Tonopah Valley, The Enterprise, if it means something to Baris it more than likely means something to her. But it is intriguing to see what The Enterprise and Tonopah Valley have to offer her as an individual too. 

INSPIRATIONAL CHARACTERS.

Natasha Romanoff - Black Widow (based off the movies)

Yelena Belova - Black Widow (based off the movies/Hawkeye)

Yor Forger - Spy x Family

HEADCANONS.

Her character is inspired by Marvel's Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff/Yelena Belova) and found family within Firestorm (hello Avengers).

She's a better shot when she's pissed off.

Her hair is her pride and joy.

She stands at a steady 5 ft. 8 in. and wears five inch heels.

Though she looks intimidating, she can be a secret softie at heart around those that break down her walls.

Her found family are her ride or die.

Baris is her constant headache.

Her favorite way to unwind is with a hot shower, cozy loungewear, and big blankets. Another favorite way is with a rose petal bath and champagne.

Her love language is quality time. In the shooting range. Kicking your ass.

She has a floral scent that is the exact same one her mother and sister used to wear. They say it lingers with the poison she uses.

INTERESTED THEMES.

Connections with all Firestorm members.

Connections with The Enterprise members.

Connections with rival gangs & civilians (angst is always welcome!)

Past angst connections (ideas are a family member of someone she was assigned to kill, someone she let go when she was changing career paths)

Ex-husband or ex-fiancé