#behind the fics game

[dykedvonte]

I haven’t really talked about Jimmy’s hallucinated version of Polle but I do subscribe to the idea that that is the closest thing to Anya’s true thoughts and feelings along with the representation of the hypothetical baby.

Text color, the whole horse attraction and monsters based on pregnancy/female anatomy, it joking about calling Jimmy old man? It’s both Jimmy purposely trying to ignore Anya and what he did but also not being able to cause he knows, in the back of his mind it all links back to her. But the closet thing he can accept about it is that it fostered something that would be undoubtedly linked to him.

It’s not exactly Anya and it’s not exactly the child. It’s his manifestation of all the things he would’ve failed doing for it and have already failed to take responsibility for. He failed as a decent person, a captain and he would’ve failed as a father which are all things Anya would subtly acknowledge throughout the game in little ways.

It specifically being Polle, the mascot to the Pony Express is more likely a call back to how the pony express is used to mean things that were never going to make it or were rearing for an end. It’s all symbolic and it’s all in Jimmy’s head because he refuses to acknowledge the real person and events his subconscious is basing it on.

[bigfootsmom]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @loserdiaz, @devirnis, @smallandalmosthonest, @tizniz, @bidisasterevankinard

I have….started a new au. Girl dads bucktommy with transmasc buck getting to be a seahorse dad so content warning for trans pregnancy and mentions of labor. this au has bewitched me body and soul and I’m dragging @try-set-me-on-fire down with me <3 <3 so here’s a doodle of happy dads with their fresh baby (Bobby took the picture)

And a snippet! :3

When Eddie grabs Tommy by the crook of his good elbow, Tommy falters. He feels off balance, his stomach swooping and head spinning as he tries to keep up with Eddie’s rapid pace. “Eddie— wait, wait— what’s going on?”

Eddie stops, staring at Tommy before his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “You don’t know? Fuck— of course you don’t know, shit.” Eddie smacks his forehead with the heel of his hand.

“Don’t know what?” Tommy can feel his stomach sinking, “Eddie, what don’t I know?”

“Buck is here at the hospital. He’s in labor.”

It feels like the world shifts under Tommy’s feet and no amount of hospital grippy socks will keep him from falling. He sucks in a shuddering breath, and then another when it feels like the first one doesn’t ever reach his lungs.

“Wh–what? But, but he was fine– he wasn’t–” The backs of Tommy’s knees hit the edge of the bed and he sways, only his white knuckle grip on the bed rail keeps him from crashing backward. His next breath comes in too quick, whistling between his teeth as his vision tunnels.

Tags <3

@usersiren, @honestlydarkprincess, @swiftietartt, @holdmygum, @morganofthefairies

@underwaterninja13, @father-salmon, @giddyupbuck, @monsterrae1, @bibuddie

@princessfbi, @mellaithwen, @homerforsure, @bisexual-buck, @maygrantgf

@boykisserbuckley, @loveyouanyway, @watchyourbuck, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @shyaudacity

And YOU if you’re reading this and want to post <3

[exy-shmexy]

I commissioned the absolutely lovely @anthemisarts to draw King, Sir, Neil and Andrew from my fic Paw and Order and when I tell you I kept having to pick up my jaw from the floor whenever Sira sent me updates, I wish I was kidding because LOOK HOW INCREDIBLE THEY LOOK!!!

Thank you again my dear Sira for bringing these two to life so perfectly, I will never stop looking at them (especially Neil’s eyelashes, he is so pretty and foR WHAT???) thank you for being an angel whom I will cherish every single day I love youuu 🧡 GO WORK WITH HER EVERYONE

You can read my very silly cat café AU here

[dangerpronebuddie]

😭😭😭😭😭😭

i check for this fic so often, i can not wait until it’s done!!

I'm so happy you're excited for this one dear 🥰. You helped me write quite a bit! I'm hoping it won't be too much longer before this one's done.

“He's our grandson,” Helena says. “He needed us.” “And I'm your son,” Eddie hisses. “I needed you, too.” And that seems to be the story of his life. He's never been their priority. Never been someone they worry about. At this point, he doesn't even know if he wants them to worry about him. He's never been anyone's baby. Why start now? “What you needed was to forget about Shannon,” Ramon says. “I won't,” Eddie declares. “What I needed was the chance to grieve her. Something you never let me do.” “She made your life hell,” Ramon insists. “We both made difficult decisions. Neither of us was perfect,” Eddie says. “That doesn't mean I didn't love her.” “Then why did you separate if you loved her?” Helena asks. “Christopher needed his mother and you let her walk away.” “That's what she wanted,” Eddie says, trying desperately to keep his voice even. “She needed me and I was gone.” “You were serving your country,” Ramon says. "What reason did she have to abandon you and Christopher?"

"Her mom needed her," Eddie defends. "And I wasn't there for her."

"So she ran from her responsibilities," Ramon huffs.

Before Eddie can open his mouth to defend her, his mother speaks. “It's become hereditary,” she drawls. "So it's all my fault Christopher’s first instinct is to run?" Eddie protests.

[johnslittlespoon]

tas john's havin the best day of his life in ch8 btw

[feraelancunin]

ok but the fact that Astarion was not saved by any heroes or monster hunters or smth

Astarion was saved by a madman and their insane plan to use mind flayers to genocide the entire population of Toril

and i am feeling SO INSANE ABOUT THIS

[horrorosier]

fic author self rec !

when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written. then, pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self love.

thank u sm @velanavis @star4daisy @futurequibblerjournalist @messymoony <3

show me those pretty white jaws (rosekiller, E, 140k, wip)

barty falls from the hands of god, and finds eternal glory in the arms of another boy.

 like smoke behind glass (rosekiller, E, 4.6k)

something about cigarettes and fucking on the windowsill finally gets evan in barty's bed.

 cold as ice (hands so warm) (bartylus, T, 4.8k, for MWPP)

regulus black has devoted his entire life to being on the ice. it just so happens that a particular someone gets a kick out of lingering in the stands during his rehearsals. one thing is for sure, don't mess with regulus on the ice. and if he shows up at barty crouch jr's hockey game and proceeds to corner him outside the locker rooms? it's nobody's business but theirs.

 cherry bomb! (bartylily, E, 5.7k)

the summer of 1980 is when barty meets lily for the first time. nothing more than a quiet girl with fiery hair. but as the months fly by, forcing the two of them into the same spaces more than once, all barty can think about is this elusive woman. little does he know, he's on lily's mind just as frequently as she is on his mind. a story of getting high, chasing your passions, and doing everything your father told you not to.

 dripping satin, slow dance with me (wolfstar, E, 5.5k)

it started with an offhand comment. one that sirius couldn't seem to forget, no matter how hard he tried.

doing yet another open tag because i have no idea who has already been tagged in this, but if you want to join, tag me in all your favs, so i can make sure i've read them all !

[watchyourbuck]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday 𑁤

tagged by @sunshinediaz @exhuastedpigeon @honestlydarkprincess @wikiangela @evanbegins @smilingbuckley @daffi-990 @tizniz & @diazsdimples thank you my darlings!✨

I think I’ll start posting soon about my other wips but for the time being I haven’t been able to part ways with Arcane, so here’s a lil snippet!!!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Stop,” Buck said suddenly, placing his unoccupied hand on top of Eddie’s. “You’re over-worrying again.” Eddie’s knees gave out, kneeling on the grass now. He took Buck’s hand with both of his, warming it up. “You’re bleeding, Buck. We’ve been sitting here for like a minute- and you’re… there’s so much-,” “I know,” he said as calmingly as possible, “but I won’t die. Not after everything we’ve been through.” He nodded, fighting the tears that were gathering in his eyes. “Promise me you’ll stay awake while I’m gone.” Buck nodded. “And that if you see something or someone, you won’t- won’t approach them.” “Not without you, I won’t.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

tagging in return @fortheloveofbuddie @honestlyeddie @buckleyobsessed @eddiiediaz @spagheddiediaz @puppyboybuckley @hippolotamus @loserdiaz @jesuisici33 @monsterrae1 @steadfastsaturnsrings @your-catfish-friend @911-on-abc @eowon @devirnis @bigfootsmom @spotsandsocks @eddie---diaz @eddiebabygirldiaz @urfactual @butraura @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @hoodie-buck @disasterbuckdiaz @kitteneddiediaz @tsunamibuckley @bucksbackwardcap @cal-daisies-and-briars @fionaswhvre @bucksbirthmark @wildlife4life @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @nmcggg (let me know if you wish to be added or removed!)

[pansexybitch]

What is the zukka fic you would drop anything for ?

[l-in-the-light]

(Mis)adventures of Law with the Strawhats [fanfiction snippet, part 2]

"God Usopp's turn now!" says the guy as he snaps the die, holds it with both hands like in a prayer. "Give me six, give me six, give me multiple six!" and then he throws it on the table where it makes a lot of loud noise. The die spins and spins, till it finally stops.

There's one dot visible on top.

Usopp's jaw drops so low Law starts to think it might have dislocated. Their eyes suddenly meet when Usopp turns his attention on him. "YOU! That die must be a fake or you tampered with it somehow! Maybe using your powers. Admit it! I won't be mad, God Usopp is forgiving, as long as you admit to your wrongdoing!"

"Hey, Usopp, you actually land on the ladder!" Chopper shouts before Law has the time to answer to the allegations.

"Seriously?? My luck is perfect today as well! Not that it's anything special, I have perfect luck everyday!" Usopp laughs while Chopper moves his friend's pawn all the way up the ladder, smiling all the time while doing that.

"My turn!" Luffy already kidnaps the die and rolls it, and not even Yamato can stop him in time.

"Wait, it's not your turn yet!"

"It's not??" Luffy makes a face. "How long do I have to wait? I don't like waiting! I liked it better when I just played alone with Torao, I could roll the die all the time"

"I bet you could steal turns even if it's just two people playing" Usopp comments.

"You bet!" Luffy snickers.

"That wasn't a compliment, you know…"

Yamato in the meantime just rolls the die and moves his own orange pawn and hands the turn to Brook. Brook's die just falls to the floor, escaping his boney grip and they all decide to just use the number they found on it when they picked it up again. Brook's black pawn is way ahead of the others, because of constant sixes he somehow ended up getting at the beginning of the game.

"Your turn!" Yamato tries to hand over the die to Luffy who almost jumps on his seat, before they get interrupted.

"Your breakfast" Sanji says as he attempts to place the plate on Luffy's head. It doesn't stay there for long, Luffy's stretchy hands make sure of that. "You better eat all of it, it's the leftovers from the breakfast. I was thinking I would kick your ass and lock you in our aquarium with the sharks if I had to throw it all away, so I guess it's your lucky day"

"Thanks Sanji. That actually sounds pretty fun, we could try that someday" Luffy says as he stuffs his mouth full, for the second time in the last hour.

"Hey, you're interrupting our game!" Usopp complains. "Don't you have some ladies to please with your desserts or something?"

Sanji takes a look at the board as he slowly exhales some smoke from his cigarrete. That feels somewhat nostalgic.

"I'm on it. It's actually you all who are getting in my way. Why did you have to play in the kitchen? This is a place to eat, not play around, mama didn't teach you?" Sanji's eyes land on Law.

"This is literally the only table on the ship that can fit six people at the same time" Law explains.

"Next time just play on the deck. You all are distracting me" he points with his cigarette at him, and then goes back to his counter.

"Oi, Sanji, make us some snacks!" Usopp calls after him.

"No way in hell" Sanji calls back. Law takes the opportunity to look at Luffy's plate. It's literally just food scraps, probably not only from today's breakfast, and yet the captain gulps it up one after another. He's trying to eat and roll the die at the same time, and spits food as he shouts "A six!"

"It's actually a five, Luffy" Yamato corrects him.

"Oh" Luffy pauses. "But it's almost a six, so that's also great!" and then he moves his red pawn forward by six fields, but no one notices at first. Not before Usopp takes a look at the board again.

"Wait, aren't you too close to my pawn now?" he asks, scrutinizing the board like it hides some sort of secret from him, but finally gives up.

"Finally, my turn!" Chopper extends his short arms to reach the die, because he's sitting on opposite side of the table from Luffy, but the square remains just short out of his reach no matter what he does. Yamato finally notices and helps him.

"Thank you!" Chopper says as he sits back in his seat. Then he tries to roll the die, but it sticks to his fur for some reason. "Huh?" he huffs and then suddenly turns to look at Luffy "Luffy!! You made it all sticky with food!!"

Luffy just laughs and throws a halfhearted sorry in his direction.

"If you understand it, then it's fine" Chopper concludes and throws the die, shouts which number he got outloud, then quickly proceeds to move his pink pawn forward. It lands on a snake's head and Chopper ends up almost all the way back at the beginning as the result. "WHAT!! How is that possible?!"

Everyone laughs besides Brook and Law.

"I have such bad luck!" Chopper complains right after scolding people for laughing at his misery. He attempts to pass the die to Law, his small hoof reaching to the middle of the table. Law doesn't take it.

"You can throw it for me" he simply says. Chopper's eyes seem to light up.

"I really can?? Can I move your pawn as well??" and upon getting a short confirmation, Chopper throws the die again, it bounces off almost all the way to Luffy again, thankfully Yamato catches it before it can land in Luffy's plate. "Maybe try again?" he proposes, attempting to give it back.

And so Chopper does, it was a six, and then another six and a five, and his little hooves are trembling as he moves Law's blue pawn all across the board. "That was amazing!" he comments.

"It was all thanks to you" Law tosses back and Chopper snaps back at him, claiming it didn't make him happy, all while doing some pirouette.

"So it's my turn now!" Luffy says as he attempts to grab the die, his arm stretching all over the table, but it gets smacked by Usopp. "It's God Usopp's turn now, you peasant!"

Usopp's die this time lands also on the floor and Usopp tries to sell to them that he got a six and that they have to believe him, it's true, but they all just make him roll it again. "Four" he grumbles under his long nose and turns away from the table, so Chopper has to move his pawn for him again. Before he's done Yamato and Brook already played their turns as well.

"Finally!!" says Luffy, his breakfast already long gone, but his still greasy fingers wrap themselves all around the die. He clasps it in his fist, then he rolls his arm a few times till his skin literally wraps around itself like a twisted tissue. Once he releases it, his arm unwinds like helicopter blades and at that moment he throws the die that bounces all over the walls, causing everyone besides Sanji and Law to scream and cover their heads, before it finally lands on Law's hat, bouncing off of it.

"Oh no I'm sorry Torao!!!" Luffy is quick to apologize, shouting super loud and right next to Usopp's ear, which causes the latter to complain.

Law doesn't say anything, just flips his finger and the die magically lands on the table.

"How are you so calm?" Chopper can't help but wonder outloud, still covering his head with his hooves, even though Luffy's attack was over.

"He did the same thing yesterday night as well" Law answers simply. "Roll again. Normally, this time, if you can help it"

Luffy grabs the die while apologizing to Law one more time, and actually rolls it somewhat uneventfully. Usopp, who sits the closest to him, still hides under the table just in case. "Another almost-six!" Luffy declares and moves his pawn. It lands on same field as Law's one and Luffy turns to him, meeting his eyes. "OH. It's like we're on same team! Shishishi!"

On next turn the die lands somehow in a glass of water and as the result of the ruckus it caused they all forget Law's turn and it gets skipped. A couple of turns later it's finally Luffy's time to shine again. He gets two six and a one, and the red and blue pawns end up seperated by a decent amount of fields now.

"No good, you almost caught up to me again!" Usopp says with wide eyes.

"Uhum" Luffy answers and passes the die to Chopper, who seems a bit confused and tilts his head. "Are you still hungry Luffy? You suddenly seem out of energy"

"Right, what about our snacks, Sanji?!" Usopp uses the occassion to shout towards their cook. "I said I'm not doing any for you!" comes the answer that causes a small banter between the two for a bit and Chopper's question remains forgotten.

On Law's next turn he lands on a bottom of the snake, Brook is nearly at the finish line, Yamato got up the ladder which only gave him like five fields of extra progress, and Chopper finally caught up a little more to others, sighing out of relief as he passed yet another tricky field which could cause him to fall down to the bottom.

Luffy's pawn stops at the head of a red-white snake and he looks at it for a moment.

"Hey, Torao, we're meeting up again!" he flashes a smile once his pawn takes a dive down two lanes to join the blue one on the bottom. Brook just sips his tea. "Hm, this snake reminds me of Hancock's snake… how was it called again?…"

Usopp's pawn finally catches up to Brook, but in the next two turns the latter actually reaches the finish line.

"What? That's it?!" Usopp complains. "The game just ended while I was so close to the goal??"

"So boring!" Luffy complains as well, and few other voices join in with their disappointment. Brook apologizes.

"We can continue to see who will be the second and who will be the last" Law offers mercifully.

"That sounds like some half-assed pity" Usopp comments.

"So boring!"

"But I still want to play!" Chopper cries out. "I only made it halfway to the goal!"

"Not my problem" Law snaps finally. "I'm out anyway, you do whatever you want" and he attempts to get up, but sits down again, narrowly escaping outstretched rubber limbs heading his way. "Stop that!!"

"But you promised to play!!"

"I never said I will play more than one time"

Luffy's mouth gapes open, then he looks around the table with wide eyes and sends a voiceless SOS signal, hoping someone, anyone will pick it up.

"I can start over?" Brook proposes, putting his pawn at the beginning again. "I don't have eyes anyway, so I don't know if I reached the goal or not, yohohoho!"

"I still want to play!" Chopper is hitting the table with his little hooves. Yamato mimicks him as well, which makes the whole table jump in the air. "Ooops!" he grabs the board and pawns just in time so they won't scatter around.

Usopp looks at Luffy, then at Law, while poking his nose with his finger again, and seems to contemplate the board.

"Technically, you didn't finish playing yet, your pawn didn't reach the goal, did it?" he points out finally. "So you can't leave before that"

Law sends him a glare. "Fine, let's get it over with" He gives in and sighs. After all, he did propose that option himself, he would lose his face if he went back on that now.

Luffy's lips stretch from ear to ear. "I love you, Usopp!!" he says as he glomps him.

Usopp smiles at first, but then looks to the other side of the table, starts sweating a bit and tries to push Luffy away. "It's okay, okay, I get it, let's get back to it"

"Thank you, Torao!" says Luffy as he settles back in his own seat.

"Here you go, Yamato-chan!" Sanji chirps as he interrupts them again and sets down a plate with some chocolate delight right in front of Yamato. "And you, scruffy guys, can have this" says Sanji as he's passing by the table and drops off some bowls, already on his way to the ladies no doubt, seeing as he carries two more plates of a dessert that could be on the menu of most expensive Grand Line restaurants.

"Snacks arrived, thanks Sanji!!" Usopp approves and is already stuffing his mouth with two fistfuls of salty crackers. Sanji only makes a wave gesture back with his free hand, or well, not exactly since it's holding a lit cigarette, balancing the two plates with ease with another.

Just when Law snatches himself a cocoa cookie that tastes like sweet fairy dust and dissolves on his tongue like seafoam on a sunny shore, Usopp rolls up his sleeves. "Okay, time to spice things up, guys!"

"What do you mean? Those crackers aren't really spicy?" Chopper asks, already nimbling on some.

"That's not what I mean. I mean the game! Time to add new rules!"

"Like what?" asks Yamato.

"For example, penalty games!" Usopp smirks. "If two people land on same field, one of them gets blown up! And let's say ladders can go both ways, up or down! And if you land on the snake it eats you and you have to go back to the start. Also, let's draw some warp and mine fields as well!"

"Eh, that's too complicated, I'm not gonna remember all that" Luffy frowns.

"It's not that difficult!" says Usopp, but as he attempts to explain his ideas, everyone only ends up having more questions. "You're all no fun!"

Law just looks at the board the whole time. Finally, he says "Okay, let's do it this way. If someone lands on top of a snake while another person is on the bottom, they switch places. And the person standing on top of the ladder can kick it off temporarily so for the next few rounds it's unusable, but to make up for it that person has to queue one round" he looks up at them and adds, just in case. "That means they won't roll a die for their next turn"

Everyone blinks (besides Brook, he can't blink because he doesn't have eyes, yohohoho) and then look down on the board, and even Usopp listens and nods slowly.

"That sounds fun!" Luffy giggles.

"God Usopp approves" Usopp finally says, crunching his cracker loudly. "Well done, you can be my disciple from now on! What, you thought you could be my equal? Only if you add mines and warps as well, I'm not giving up on that!"

Law smirks. "Only if you call me commander-in-chief"

"Sure" Usopp agrees easily, his brows furrowing. "But can you actually cook?"

"AH!" Luffy cries out. Everyone suddenly turn to look at him. "I know! It was Slalom!!"

"What was?" Yamato asks.

"The name of Hancock's snake!" he declares with certainity. "Or wait, maybe that's not it…"

Law sighs and shambles another cookie. "When two people land on the same field, they have to battle it out, the loser goes back to the start"

"EH I don't like that!" Luffy frowns, but then reconsiders. "Or actually, that sounds fun. Can we decide it by having a sumo match??"

"No, it will distract you and we will never finish the game" Usopp answers instead of Law.

"Eh, fine, then how about finger sumo wrestling instead?" Luffy proposes and looks expectantly at Law. Soon all of them do.

He doesn't answer for a while. Luffy is about to ask again, when Law finally breaks through. "No."

Luffy's face fell.

"If two people land on same field, they will do an alliance instead"

tbc.

[raplinesmoon]

Behind the Fic: Writer’s Audio Game

This was inspired by the tag challenge that went around in late 2020-early 2021 where authors would record themselves talking about their fics, and we’d get these very cool podcast-like insights into their writing process and all the TMI behind our favourite stories!

Rules:

Pick a question (or a few) from the list below and ask about the “behind the fic” that you’ve been curious about. Answers will be recorded, using a recording medium of choice (must be accessible to tumblr users)!

Questions:

🩷what inspired you to write this?

🩵why did you write this?

🤍where did you write this?

❤️what is your favourite line?

💙how long did it take you to write this?

💜what is your favourite thing about it?

🧡does it have a soundtrack? is there music you had in mind when writing this?

💛what was first? vibe or plot?

💚why did you write this for this character?

🖤open question - anything else you want to ask?

[s-c-l-n]

atsumu who is very popular with the media and sakusa who is only ever seen in the media hanging onto atsumu

[telesodalite]

Woe, unfinished, mildly edited, fulfire fic tid-bits be upon you

-

Like a magnet, his optics kept drifting back to Misfire's face. His stupid, strangely charming face.

For a short while, after Clemency, it had been that face that haunted some of his nightmares. His recalls blurring the lines between the strange reality of Misfire's hands reaching into him to lock his fuel pump back into the very spot he'd pulled it from, and the fear that just as easily he could pull it out again. They had been bloody dreams. Dreams that had him startling awake, gripping his chest in the vain attempt to close what wasn't open, before spending the rest of the day avoiding Misfire's optics.

But now things were different. Not Misfire's face. No, that hadn't changed much. But Fulcrum's dreams had definitely changed. To say the least of what all rolled around in his processor as he slept nowadays.

Some of those newer dreams had crept to the forefront of his mind as he sat there on the couch, staring as the lights of the screen reflected dully across Misfire's plating in hazy blues and greys.

The lighting made his colors seem muddy and faded, but Fulcrum didn't really care, nor did he care to think what it made himself look like. He was too busy bringing an empty engex can to his lips while he watched the crinkle of Misfire's nose as he barked a laugh at something Fulcrum didn't catch onscreen.

He'd started noticing it months ago, all the ways the silvery mesh of Misfire's face would scrunch up with his emotions. Those little crinkles along his optics and nose when he laughed or glared. The creases indented along his cheeks when he grinned. Fulcrum found himself quietly logging away these little details. Idle notes and observations that had suddenly started piling up in the corners of his processer.

He… He'd never really done that before? He'd never really noticed those sorts of things in other mechs.

The faces and expressions of his past colleagues never seemed terribly important. All the details of every smile and frown were never worth filing away, outside of few notable moments where those expressions reflected his work performance. But besides the smile that meant promotion, and the frown that meant he'd screwed up, nothing else was noticeable. Nothing was worth remembering.

But now the memory of every genuine laugh that bubbled out of Misfire sat comfortably besides memories of warm joyful optics that Fulcrum found himself collecting every time Crankcase cracked a rare half-smile for him, or when Krok placed a reassuring hand against his back, or the times Spinister spontaneously pointed out something odd but ultimately nice about his stupid frame.

He didn't really know why he was doing it, memorizing all these mundane little things, just to have them flit through his processer randomly. Maybe it was because those expressions, those details, felt… comforting? Comforting in such a strange and unfamiliar way. But, a good way. A good sort of strange, much like the mechs themselves.

-

-

He had stared for a long moment, the credits and their rolling tune playing somewhere in the background as Fulcrum stared back. But Misfire was never one for personable silence, even as the sound of some likely long dead Iaconian orchestra filled the room.

"What is it?" He asked, a small chuckle escaping him as he brought a hand to his face, "Don't tell me I've poured it all over myself again."

It had taken Fulcrum longer than usual to unstick his glossa from the roof of his mouth as he watched Misfire run a thumb over his lips, but eventually he had coughed out a small, choked, "No."

That had earned him an odd look at first, but with their fields loose and open, Fulcrum could almost feel the exact moment something clicked in Misfire's mind, as the idle comfortable static he projected in pulsing waves evened out into something openly curious and almost subdued.

It wasn't often Fulcrum felt him that clearly.

Misfire tended to keep his field fairly close, though, maybe not as close as the others did, what with how Crankcase kept an iron grip on his, and how Krok's always held an air of strained control, even when it slipped from him. But still, Misfire's was always hard to read, no matter the reach or depth of his field.

Even then and there, with it loose and unfiltered and buzzing with the engex running through his system, there was an ever present undertone of something indescribably jumbled about him, like too many feelings at once, each too vast and hurried for Fulcrum to really feel or understand.

It always seemed to stir the passive anxiety Fulcrum must've been forged with when Misfire's field brushed against his own. As facing the indescribable vague mess of Misfire felt like trying to untangle a pile of live-wires he couldn't even see.

It was almost frustrating in a sense, the need to try and sort and understand what wasn't even his to begin with. But at the same time it was almost exciting as well. It was like a game, like a puzzle he had yet to solve.

-

-

Finally letting his own can go tumbling to the floor to join Misfire's, Fulcrum had brought a hand to cover his face as he drew his legs up and leaned back against the arm of the couch, trying to suppress the fit as the sly look slipped from Misfire's face at the sounds.

While Fulcrum had laughed, and… snorted, embarrassingly, he had felt Misfire's field change again, brushing something fizzy and almost warm against his plating as Misfire's features softened.

"I'm looking at you," Fulcrum had said then between gulps of air, letting his hand fall from his face as he reached out to poke at Misfire's chest, "Dumbaft."

His finger had lingered over the thick plating there for maybe a little longer than necessary, drawing Misfire's attention as it slid down a little before pulling away.

Looking back up again with his helm angled slightly, Misfire had followed the sight of his hand leaving his plating to where Fulcrum let it fall between them.

"Wow…" Misfire had chuckled a little dryly, "I was gonna make it real easy for you. I was going to say something like, ''Do you like what you see?'' or-… or something like that. But now you've ruined it. Good job."

Meeting Fulcrum's optics again as he pulled his own hand back from Fulcrum's shoulder, he brought it to rest between them as well.

"And you're laughing at me," He said next, faking a small pout as his hand drifted closer to Fulcrum's, "Which totally ruins the whole vibe I was going for really. I mean, it's sort of hard to be all nice and suave-like when you're being laughed at. Total vibe killer. Bit of an ego killer too if I'm being honest. So thanks for that loser, thanks for saying I have a funny face."

With Misfire's fingers brushing distractingly past his own, Fulcrum didn't think before the words stumbled out of him.

"I like your face."

It came out almost matter of fact sounding, Fulcrum's laughter having died down while Misfire complained about it. But at the same time the words felt so simple, they came out so easily, and in a weird way they felt nice to say. But Misfire's optics had widened in surprise, his frame frozen and his field suddenly struck quiet, and despite the engex numbing his usual nerves, Fulcrum felt a sudden pang of anxiety because of it.

The silence in Misfire's field was terribly alien. It felt wrong, and something in Fulcrum spiraled to think he had caused it. But slowly, almost as if it were creeping forward, an odd almost scrutinizing uncertainty fanned outward in a careful wave. Misfire moved with it, leaning closer as he searched Fulcrum's expression for something.

"Oh yeah?" He'd said lowly then, and that sly look returned. But that vague uncertainty didn't fade with it, if anything, Fulcrum felt it strengthen. Caught between what he saw, in Misfire's easy smile and dimmed optics, and what he felt, in the growing hollow distance within their fields, Fulcrum found himself frowning and pulling back.

-

-

Growing frustrated with himself, and wanting that feeling back, he had pushed forward, shifting onto his knees as he reached for Misfire's face before the other could pull away from him entirely.

"I like your face." He said firmly, maybe too firmly. His expression still drawn into a frown as he pressed his fingers into Misfire's helm, brushing his thumbs across the silver mesh he'd been staring so intently at before. "I like your optics, and your nose. I- I like the way you smile. When you really smile, and when you laugh. I do. I'm not lying."

And oh there it was again, that little curl of warmth in Misfire's field. Almost a tangible thing, like a brush of ventilation, but Misfire wasn't venting. His mouth hung open ever so slightly, but no breath left him as he stared at Fulcrum with widening optics.

Spurred on by that tiny bloom of warmth, Fulcrum chased after it with slightly slurred words and clumsy hands as he tried to fix whatever he'd done wrong, hoping with each word that Misfire might soften and smile again.

"I like your expressions, and- and I like your voice," He said, glancing down at Misfire's parted lips, and laughing softly, nervously, as he continued, "Even when you say something so stupid. I like- I like the way it sounds. I like your accent, I like the way it makes your words sound. I- I like your- your mouth?"

Once more that weird but nice feeling settled in Fulcrum's chest. Those simple words felt good to say. It felt like a weight off his shoulders, like an admission he'd been waiting to say. About what and why? He wasn't really sure. But the warmth grew, and Misfire took a sharp vent inwards, and that felt right, so Fulcrum kept on.

"I like your helm," He said with a smile, reaching up to brush his fingers over the jutting finials there, before dropping his hands to settle lightly over Misfire's chest. "I like your frame, the colors of it. I like your-"

Before he could finish, Misfire was surging forward, knocking their helms together and nearly bruising the mesh of their noses as he tried for, and just barely missed, Fulcrum's lips.

-

👁👁👍

[yuwuta]

something i think is absolutely bonkers is when fans of an anime/manga start publicly saying fuck you to the mangaka—who is still a very real person—just because the villainous character, who is not real at all, they wanted to fuck died

[zanarkandfayth]

Would love to read your answers to questions 3, 9, 13, 17, 18, 26, 29, 31, 32, 50, and, if there's another number (or several) you really wanna answer, please add those too ✨

thank you for the ask!! <33 I wrote you novels in return gjdskglj

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

oooh this one is so hard because I love most of my fics for different reasons, even my older ones (at least the ones on ao3. we ignore the ones left behind on ffnet lmao). hhhh, of completed ones that are posted, imma have to say monsters honestly, because damn did I put some heart into that. but the one I'd probably consider absolute best is the still ongoing, not yet posted 600K+ beast of a fic I usually refer to as "nanofic" that I've been working on since 2019. it won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it just gets so deep into noct's trauma that I inflict on him and his slow recovery from it, more than I've done for any other fic, and I've poured so much blood sweat and tears into that thing, it's kinda everything to me.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

written, no. been tempted to in the past, but it was too much effort and I already had too many fics for my main fandoms. I have read fandom blind for both harry potter and supernatural in the past though, like lates 2000s into mid 2010s. both were kinda on accident. supernatural in particular is because it kept getting crossed over with MULTIPLE of my fandoms. psych, house md, and criminal minds. so I started reading non-crossover supernatural fics in self-defense gsdklgjdks

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I mean… this is the first paragraph of one of my fics from my first fandom when I was fifteen. you tell me 😂

"Relena smiled as she sipped her tea and mentally reviewed the day's schedule. 8:00 am- peace talk to the world. 10:00 am- conference with Romefeller. 1:00 pm- try to convince Dorothy to become a pacifist because she was to stupid to understand that Dorothy loved war. Rest of the day- annoy the HELL out of Heero Yuy. Smiling happily again (PLEASE! Her smile is SO annoying), she stood up and was just about to take a step when …. suddenly a freak falling cow killed her!!! =^.^= The gundam boys all burst out of closets around the room and rejoiced."

the biggest change is probably that I actually write well now lmao. and don't character bash. and don't throw author's notes and emoticons in the middle of fics, and have learned to format better, and, and…

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

oh god. let me hide before I answer this. hands down, it's shadows growing. like let me be clear, it's not bad by any means. I'm still fond of it. but I did not have a clear plan when I started writing it, and I really feel like that shows. it was not meant to be a fix-it fic. it was not meant to be a longer fic. it was not meant to be much of anything, tbh. I saw the prompt on the kink meme and the prologue literally started writing itself in my head and I was like "nah idk what I'd do with that" and I scrolled past, but I couldn't focus on reading other prompts and so I went back and just started typing the fic in a reply to the prompt. honestly I figured I'd write whatever I could and then when I left it unfinished, no one would know because I was anon and I had like one fic posted on ao3 for ffxv at the time and I was used to being a complete fandom nobody. the fact that shadows growing got me even somewhat noticed was unexpected and I was not prepared gdjskgjdskl

it definitely affected the fic because once the readers started picking up it made me feel suuuuper stressed and I was so afraid to stray too far from canon because I thought people would hate that??? for some reason??? no there's logic there. I was just overwhelmed. and I do get why people love it, because the whump and the friendship between the boys is really good. but I cannot help but look at it and remember how out of my depth I felt at the time and wish that I had been brave enough to diverge more from canon and smart enough to come up with a better ending. I still suspect there were quite a few people who felt let down by the ending and that's fair honestly. anyways, yeah, it's a good fic and I'm fond of it and most of the attention and the recs it got were in the first couple years of the game being out and I don't begrudge it being my most popular fic, I just. have better ones now I feel like gjsdgjskgsj but maybe not ones as many people would want to read. which is fine with me tbh.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

the gladio oneshot in my "fayth's daddy issues week" series! (I wrote all those fics so back to back that I can't remember the titles for any of them whoops.) I adore that fic and it got so little attention compared to most of the other fics in that week, or my fics overall tbh. the only one that got even less was the one about iris 🤣 but I don't care much for the iris one either, even though I think it has some stellar banter between the boys and cute/funny prompto/gladio moments. I really love the gladio one though, because it was fun to revisit gladio's pov in a fic and I got to develop a bit of backstory for him that's been evolving into headcanon and there's a good chunk of ignis and gladio friendship that was the precursor to all their friendship in monsters, plus I got to make gladio cry, so. I love it <3

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

characterisation, for sure. it's the one thing I agonise over and actually worry about what readers might think at times, especially as I get further away from having played the game to keep it fresh in my mind. so anyone commenting that it feels right makes me roll around on my bed in glee. the other aspect I equally enjoy is people commenting on the emotions. like, that the ones I wrote the characters having feel real/deep, that it made the reader feel them too, etc. stuff like that. cos the emotions are literally why I write fic lol.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I am dumb and am struggling to understand what this question is asking, tbh. is it like, do I write for as many fandoms as I read, or something? because fuck no in that case, haha. the only fandoms I've done major writing for (more than one or two fics) are gundam wing, digimon adventure, final fantasy x, and final fantasy xv. and I've read for something like 100 fandoms, idk. at one point I had a list but I stopped keeping track eventually.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

well… I didn't really understand the concept of characterisation for fanfic until a little before I started writing for ffx. so uh, it's kinda non-existent in my gdw and digimon fics. but once I actively started trying for it… honestly maybe just yuna from final fantsy x. I had some things featuring her meant to be longer fics that were set during the game (most of my posted stuff is set pre-canon, with no yuna in sight) but I never finished and/or posted them because I always felt shaky on yuna's characterisation. I don't think I've majorly struggled with anyone in ffxv to the point that I've felt too dissatisfied with characterisation to post. but at the same time I'm sure none of them are actually perfectly right xD but they FEEL more or less right to me, which is all I care about.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

noct. I mean. he's my blorbo for a reason xD my beloved, I relate to him so much and the rest of it I just project lololol. I make a point to not actually just write myself as noct, cos I personally ain't about that, but it feels very easy to write him without needing to think too deeply about his thoughts/feelings/reactions most of the time. they feel instinctual to me, even when it's something that would differ from my own thoughts/feelings/reactions if I was in a similar situation.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

YES and the answer to this question is one of the reasons antis/purity culture upsets me so fucking much. it's a personal/sensitive answer though so skip if you don't want to read that xD but. reading rape/sexual abuse & aftermath fics as a teenager is what helped me to understand that, even though there was no outright rape happening, I was still being abused. seeing my favourite characters have the courage to tell someone about their abuse and get help is what encouraged me to tell one of my friends during an AIM conversation late one night when I was sixteen, and she convinced me to tell my therapist at my next appointment, who then told my mom, and yeah let's just say that was a very significant and eventually positive impact (it was a rocky road) on my life. if none of that had happened I genuinely think the CSA would have continued escalating into eventual rape. so thank FUCK for fanfic and I seethe with rage every time some shitfuck anti tries to claim there's no good to be found in such fics. plus in general it just helps with my mental health and I've made plenty of friends through fic over the years, even if they come and go I'm still grateful to have known them for that time, and writing fic is the one thing that gives life any meaning for me, etc. so yeah I'd say at least 99% positive.

and now, I will add a few to answer, because you said I could lmao

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

it is a toss-up between horizon road, an ffx fic featuring a toxic, fucked up relationship between tidus and auron that I still really love, or endless skies, a really self-indulgent digimon fic. they're both old at this point, horizon road I started in 2005, and endless skies was in 2016. horizon road suffers from me having no solid ideas for it beyond the three chapters I wrote, and endless skies is painfully fully outlined, but it was such a hard, research-intensive fic to write for a number of reasons, and now looking at it also just reminds me of an ex-friend who I feel very negative towards (because I talked to them a lot while plotting/writing and they even wrote some of the smut scenes for me, though I've since removed those) and even if I wasn't still deeply entrenched in ffxv, I don't think I could bring myself to ever work on it again :/ which sucks because I did adore it very much.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

…okay, I think anyone who has read shadows growing and then has also read or even looked at my ignoct fics knows that the ignoct is very much present in shadows growing gjdskgjsk as much as I will swear up and down it's platonic, and people certainly can take it that way if they want, like. come on. it's there. at a point, it very much was intentional. BUT. it did start out accidental. the og prompt asked for either gen or OT4 and I don't ship OT4 so I was gonna do gen but noct and ignis kept blurring the lines when I started writing scenes with them gdsjkgdjkl aaaaand actually I didn't start monsters with the intention of it being ignoct either. (the ignoct bits in the first chapter I actually added in a rewrite of that chapter lmao.) nor the tiny little epilogue in heavy is the burden that nudges into hinting at ignoct territory. fuck, even the ignoct in my very first ffxv wasn't meant to be so overt as it was gjdsklgjks there's also tiny hints of it in some of my fayth's daddy issues week fics (not counting the one that's deliberately and stated to be ignoct).

…actually now that I'm writing this I'm realising very little of my ignoct has been deliberately planned at the start 😂 the sequel to shadows growing, grey skies, was planned, at least xD the promptio that shows up towards the end of the fic was an accident though gjsdkgljslk it just. happened??? I didn't even LIKE promptio when I started writing that fic. huh. maybe accidental shipping is just my thing in writing ffxv fics.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

wanted to answer this one, because, I'm NOT talking in terms of other people here. I don't mean to sound dismissive or ungrateful, because I do appreciate the people who read my fics, it makes me happy, but like. it's not why I write OR post. I'm not "producing content" for people; if someone is unhappy with me for not posting more fics, that's their problem. but in terms of myself… yeah, I do wish I had more to post. not because I feel like I've got some kind of arbitrary quota to meet. like, quite frankly, I have over a million words of fic posted on ao3, and given that I have a single unposted fic that's over 600K alone, I'm positive I have at least 2mil total words written. it's just that I wish I could write more consistently/frequently? I feel like I never write as much as I want to, and I know a lot of it is because of my worsening health, so maybe that's why I just feel so frustrated and dissatisfied with my output, but man, sometimes I look at my number of posted works on ao3 and feel like it's such a low number for how long I've been writing ): both for ffxv specifically and for all my fics total. I know it's silly, but the feeling persists nonetheless.

thank you again for the ask!! I feel happy getting to answer questions and ramble about my fics :D and it was really fun to think about my answers and realise a thing or two haha.

[meyerlansky]

you know i have to ask about more buppy

BUPPY COMRADE 🫡

i'm still trying to hash out the circumstances Surrounding another scene but. maybe it doesn't need circumstances. maybe they're just playing. pwp is a respected and storied genre, right? anyway, time for puppies to get bred what who said that:

The leash rattles, a cool line down his back and along his side; Curt's got the loop round his wrist and his arm round Bucky’s waist, the chain sandwiched between their skin, a loose weight on his collar. Curt’s other hand clutches hard at Bucky’s hip. “Again.”

He's not supposed to talk this much but—that's his own rule. Curt’s never said not to. And if Curt wants him to, he wants to be good, do what he's told. It’s easier with the words still close, and “Yours,” spools off his tongue like it's nothing. Keeps spilling, “m’yours, your dog, your—” he chokes on a sharp thrust catching him right, lets the rest tumble out. “Your good dog.”

Hitches up in the middle, because he wants to be, he wants to hear it but maybe he’s not, maybe asking at all makes him bad, a really good dog wouldn't want the words so badly, he'd just be—

“Yeah, my good boy,” Curt pants against his shoulder. Bucky goes slack, whining, the words like liquid fire down his throat.