#behind the door is an Advanced Giant Crab standing in a pool of water just deep enough to drown a Medium-sized creature in

[monstersdownthepath]

If you or a loved one have ever been killed by a Giant Crab during your low-level Pathfinder adventures, you may be entitled to EXP compensation.

[magmasliveblogs]

1.04

i have not been captured by goblins! nor have i been turned into steak! this is the 5th chapter! 

recap: last chapter our protag, erin, returned to the inn and fought off some goblins. she also found a stream. now, onward! 

Her legs hurt. As she stepped outside Erin felt at the back of her legs and winced.

“Right. Knife cuts.”

She should wash that. If she had water. But since she didn’t and the wounds were already scabbed over, Erin left it and started walking.

i skipped over that section during the last post, but yeah erin was cut on her legs 

If there were, they didn’t seem interested in her at the moment. Erin found the strange, spindly trees easily and picked an armful of blue fruits. She sat and ate fourteen. It wasn’t that she was hungry so much as really thirsty. She sucked as much of the blue juice out of the fruits before gathering as many as she could carry and walked back to the inn. The seed cores she left where they lay.

…Actually, now that she thought of it…

Erin doubled back and grabbed two seed cores and placed them carefully on top of her stack of blue fruits.

always be ready for the those crabs. always be ready! 

“Firewood. If I could cut the wood away, that is.”

She thought of the incredibly stiff branches.

“…Nope. But wait a second. What about fallen branches? Or—”

She turned around and started walking back. But when she got there she found neither helpful twigs nor larger branches anywhere in the orchard.

“Weird.”

Frustrated, Erin kicked a tree and dodged another falling blue fruit. She added it to her armful and walked back to the inn.

The room was still a mess from last night’s fight. Erin sat the fruits down on one table and started righting chairs and tables.

“Stupid Goblins.”

yes it is probably a good idea to clean up, though when will we get visitors? 

“But I won.”

“Barely.”

“They’re not that dangerous.”

“Unless they stab me in my sleep. Or there are lots of them.”

“But I’m probably safe if I keep the windows and doors closed.”

“…Probably.”

“And there’s the rock-crab-thing.”

“…Does it eat Goblins?”

“They were eating the blue fruits. So they live nearby.”

“But I can run away from them.”

“…Until they chase me down and overwhelm me and eat my guts, that is.”

dont talk to yourself too much, or you could go insane 

Erin stopped and put her face in her hands. She immediately regretted that decision.

“Pheh! Dusty.”

She sighed and grabbed the rag. Time to clean up some…more?

“Uh. What happened to the dust?”

The floor of the inn was made out of floorboards. Very sensibly, and in keeping with the rest of the inn which was also made out of wood. However, Erin had never seen the floor before. Up till this very moment it had been covered by a thick layer of dust.

Now though she was staring at the floor. A clean, undusted floor. Erin stared and then stared some more. Then she looked at her hands.

“Was that me?”

It must have been, but how had she done it? Of the numerous and varied—of the few skills Erin possessed, cleaning was not one of them.

Oh, sure she could clean up spills and small messes. Anything that involved tossing water and mopping stuff up was okay. But this?

“I wasn’t even dusting for more than—an hour? Two? And it’s all clean.”

Erin scuffed at the floor and amended that thought.

“Sort of clean. You couldn’t eat your dinner off it I guess. But that’s why we have plates.”

And it was a definite upgrade from before. Distractedly Erin scratched her head and felt the caked dirt and dust on her face start to crumble away.

“The floor is clean. I am not.”

first of all, this seems like the skills from earlier took effect. also yeah, erin could use a bath 

“Right. I need a drink.”

Water, preferably. But Erin would have killed for a nice cool drink of anything, really. Too bad there wasn’t any water nearby.

“Time to find some. Or I’ll die. Whichever comes first.”

Erin wandered out of the inn. After a minute she walked back in, grabbed the knife, and closed the door behind her as she left. After another minute she walked back in and threw the dustrag on the ground. She slammed the door as she left this time.

this is quite amusing to picture 

“Water. Water is water. Because water. Where’s the water?”

Erin walked for a few minutes in one direction and saw no water. So she turned left and started walking that way.

“I could drink a Gatorade. Or a Pepsi. I like Coke too, though. What about Pepsi and Coke and Gatorade? Gatorpepcoke? Pegatoroke?”

It occurred to her that she wasn’t making much sense. Even for her, that was. Erin looked around for the water and felt her head spinning. Her head was really starting to hurt.

“Cogapeptorade?”

Her foot slipped. Or maybe she stumbled. But suddenly Erin tripped and had to spin around to keep her balance. That was so much fun that she started spinning around as she walked. She stopped after a few seconds and tried not to vomit.

“Feel sick.”

She wiped her brow. At least she wasn’t sweating. It was really hot, though. Weird.

those fruit may not have been the best for your health, or was it just the seed cores? the crab didnt like those 

not where she was. Maybe if she lay down she’d feel better?

Erin went to bend over. Halfway down she remembered.

“The stream!”

She tried to stand up and nearly fell flat on her face.

“Where—where was it?”

Head spinning, Erin looked around. The inn was still visible.

“It was there. So if I’m here…there?”

Shakily, Erin began stumbling towards where the stream was. As luck had it she was closer than she thought and came across the stream in a matter of minutes.

looks like she was able to find the stream once again! huzzah! this still leaves the question though, does the stream have fish? because if those fruits arent good for the health than fish might be the only other option. excluding the settlement in the distance of course 

The stream is fast flowing and cold. The young woman cares not. The instant she spots it she dashes madly into the water and flops down face first.

“Water!”

She cups her hands and begins drinking the water as fast as she can. Then she spits out the water and washes her hands of the grime caked onto it before trying again. She drinks one palmful, another, and then five more.

—-

It was around the fourth handful that Erin realized she’d made a bad mistake. The water was delicious and cold as ice cubes, but she was so thirsty she drank it down like…water. Five minutes later she was laying on her side trying not to puke.

Too much water on a dehydrated body. Erin could feel her stomach trying to empty itself and was determined not to let it.

“It—it hurts. It really hurts…”

After a while the pain went away. Erin reluctantly got back up. She was glad she hadn’t puked. She only had one pair of clothes after all.

Speaking of which…Erin raised her arm and sniffed.

“…Bath time.”

dont drink too much after not drinking, and i am glad she realizes that a bath is probably a good idea 

Erin ran her hand through her wet hair and sighed. She’d scrubbed hard, but without soap or shampoo what could you do? And when she thought about how she hadn’t used a toothbrush in days…

“Hm. So, [Basic Cleaning] was really a skill after all?”

Erin thought about it. It was better than thinking of cavities and rotting gums.

“…Huzzah. What a great skill! I mean, I might have to fight off giant crabs and Goblins, but at least I’ll be able to clean the floor while they eat me!”

She sighed and dunked her head into the water.

“Gah! Cold!”

our protag has realized that the skill is in fact real! lets hope the other one works just as well 

“Maybe today won’t be so bad after all.”

Erin laughed to herself.

“Or not. Knock on wood.”

She turned jokingly to find a piece of wood to knock on and saw it. A huge shadow in the water.

Erin shot out of the stream like a reverse cannonball just as the fish lunged. She felt something incredibly large brush past her navel, felt the slimy, slick feeling against her skin for one heart-stopping moment—

And then it was over. Erin lay on the grass, breathing for air as she stared at the fish flopping around on the grass.

“W—wh—”

ok fishing may be out of the picture for now 

Just in case Erin psyched herself up, ran over, and kicked the fish hard in the side.

“Aaaaaah!”

Erin hopped around in agony, clutching her foot.

“Is that thing made of rocks?”

yeah fishing is definitively out of the picture for now 

After a while Erin stopped hopping around and swearing. She limped over to the fish and stared at it. It had…two eyes. Four, actually. But it had two on each side. One big eye and a smaller eye right behind it.

“Ew. Mutant fish with teeth.”

Erin stared at it for a little while longer. Her stomach rumbled.

“Right. Lunch.”

She stared at the fish.

“…Sushi?”

but she doesnt really have any other options does she? plus she already has the fish 

“And hey, I need food. So it’s time to chop stuff up.”

Still, Erin hesitated. She’d never had to cut up a fish before. How was she supposed to do it? She had no idea.

“Huh. I guess [Basic Cooking] doesn’t work on fish.”

i agree, this doesnt really fit under the idea of basic cooking. sushi is more advanced 

Erin put down the knife and stepped into the common room to breathe for a while. When her stomach had stopped lurching she went back.

“There is no way I’m eating that. Cooked or raw. Actually, there’s no way I’m eating any of this without a frying pan.”

She looked around. Frying pan? Check. Good.

not copying it all but there was a lot of disgusting description of the insides of the fish. i would not want to eat this thing, even after cooking it to a crisp! 

She pressed hard with the knife. But it just wasn’t going through the skin. Annoyed, Erin pushed harder.

And slipped.

It happened in an instant. Her hand lost its traction and the blade skated across the scales.

“…Huh?”

Erin blinked, and held up her right hand. A gaping red line split her palm diagonally. There was no blood.

She flexed her hand once. That’s when the blood starting pooling. But there was no pain.

Erin looked around. Bandage? There were no bandages nearby. Or cloth.

Her hand felt…numb. Then tingly.

Bandages? Cloth? There were…curtains upstairs. Right? But they were dirty, and mouldy too.

this is bad

The blood was dripping onto the fish and the counter. Erin wanted to wipe it away, but she was still holding her knife. And suddenly, her hand started hurting.

“…Ow.”

Erin dropped the knife.

“Ahh. Ah.”

She gripped her wrist as hard as she could, stopping the blood flow. But the pain kept coming now, on and on.

“Bandage.”

She didn’t remember leaving the kitchen. But she was back with one of the curtains from upstairs and slicing it to make a bandage as blood soaked the cloth. It was hard. She could only use one hand and her other was hurting.

Eventually she wound the cloth tight and gritted her teeth as she tied a knot. The bloodstain was already spreading, but at least something was covering the wound. But it still hurt.

It hurt! Erin tried to think as she stumbled back to the common room. It wasn’t deep. Well, it was deep but she wasn’t looking at bone. But it felt really deep.

“It hurts.”

She didn’t have words to describe the agony in her hand. The rest of the world was dim and unimportant compared to the pain radiating from that one point. All of her senses were focused on that place, and it was all Erin could do not to scream.

“Screaming is bad. Quiet.”

She just knew it. Screaming would make it somehow so much worse. So instead Erin sat and gripped her wrist. The blood was dripping. It hurt.

It really hurt.

this is very bad 

The dead fish stared up at her on the cutting board drenched with her blood. It stank. At the same time, Erin’s stomach grumbled. She wasn’t hungry for fish, but she was hungry.

Still, she didn’t want to eat. Erin walked back to the chair and sat down. As she did she bumped the back of her legs. The knife cuts burned and hurt. A different kind of pain.

“I get it. It’s a bad day, right?”

Erin whispered. It made her feel better not to talk loudly. She was awake even though she was tired. The pain wasn’t going to let her sleep. And she was hungry, but she really didn’t want to eat.

So she sat, and watched her blood fall.

Drip.

okay now we have a bleeding hand, a rotting fish, giant crabs, and goblins to worry about. if i may reiterate, this is very much not good 

t was dark when the puddle stopped growing. It soaked into the floorboards, a dark stain in the night. Erin stared at the blackness. She couldn’t sleep.

“Still hurts.”

Erin stared at the table. She stared at the grain of the wood. No good. She couldn’t distract herself. But she had to.

So she began to whisper.

“Pawn…pawn to E4.”

She rested her injured hand on the table. It flared once in pain, and then resumed throbbing. Her other hand traced a square, and her eyes darted over the empty table.

“Pawn to E5. Pawn to F4. Pawn captures F4 – King’s Gambit Accepted. Bishop to C4, queen to H4. Check. Bishop’s Gambit. King to F1, pawn to B5. Bryan Counter-gambit. Bishop captures B5, knight moves to F6. Knight moves to F3…”

She kept talking long into the night. But the pain in her hand never stopped. It just kept hurting. And hurting.

aaaaand it gets worse. she cant sleep, and thus cant get any more of the levels, which could give her a skill that would help, plus she has started rambling out a chess game via chess notation. based on her backstory, this seems like a coping mechanism. lets hope our protag gets over this or gets help soon 

also thats the end of the chapter! the situation got a bit better and then got a lot worse. half a step forward 3 steps back i suppose. 

will our protag get over this pain? will she get medical help via a skill? will she stumble into the settlement in the distance half dead? find out next time! 

see you tomorrow! looks like this formula of post endings is sticking till i think of something better 

[la-appel-du-vide]

Day 13. Today was a day all about spending time with Varvara. ❤️ And it was so much fun. We slept in pretty late after not getting any sleep in Barcelona, and staying up pretty late in Valencia. After waking up, Elina made us al breakfast. It was honestly the worst meal we've had the whole trip. Hahaha oh my gosh, terrible. It was like bagels, with supposedly tomatoes(but they really didn't taste like tomatoes) and this weird meat called jamon... Ugh. Every single bite was a struggle. But when you're trying to be gracious to your hosts, you choke down as much as you came possibly handle, and drink orange juice to clear the taste between every bite. We also had to eat some nasty flan. Good morning to us. 😷 After breakfast, we took Varvara to their building's pool. She kills me because she has a list of rules for us to follow for every activity we do hahaha. For swimming, for example: 1) "First, you have to put on your swimming costume. I have two swimming costumes. One separated and one together. I used to not wear the separate one because I'm fat. But now I'm used to it." 2) "You have to wear sunscreen. It's very important." (Side-note: She let us each have one tiny squirt of sunscreen and that was it hahaha.) 3) "This towel is for sitting only. This towel is for wearing only." She's just so funny. Of course, it was a pretty windy day for swimming. Outside it was hot, but the water was really cold. It took a lot of getting used to. Varvara spent half of the time hating us because she held a grudge at Beach for hiding her ball from her. But the other half of the time, we were friends and we'd play, and throw her around in the water. 😂 I ended up taking a nap on the hot concrete in the sun because I was super cold, and I got so burnt that my swimming suit outline on my body is actually perfect haha. After swimming, we went inside to shower and change. Beach went first, and while she was in the shower, Alexander came to tell me we'd be leaving for the restaurant in 20 minutes. I wish they would tell us about these plans in advance. As soon as Beach got out, I hopped in and tried to take the fastest shower I could, but I still took too long and I think they were mad. On our way out the door, Beach asked Alexander if Elina was coming, and he said she'd been in he car for 10 minutes. Like, look, I'm sorry but we had no fair warning of when to be ready or we would have come back from the pool earlier! But I couldn't very well go out in my swimming suit. It was kind of awkward. They took us to a buffet that kind of reminded me of Golden Corral. They are tonssss of fish and clams and crab, but we stuck to things like fries, spring rolls, salad, and chocolate muffins. 👍🏻 It was good and filling, and the food helped ease the tension a bit. After lunch, they dropped us off at the City of Arts and Sciences with Varvara to see it in the daylight, and then to go explore Old Town. They explained to us how to use the metro, and gave us a metro card. Then we were off! The City of Arts and Sciences really is an impressive area. The architecture of all the buildings is so cool, and it's all surrounded by water. It was cool to see both in the light and at night. It had hardly been ten minutes before Varvara started complaining that she was tired of walking. But the next thing you know, she saw a huge staircase leading up to some upper platforms and she wanted to go. Beach: "But Varvara, you just said you were tired of walking." Varvara: "I said I'm tired of walking. That doesn't mean I'm tired of climbing." Haha she's a salty child. We had to walk pretty fair to get to Old Town, and Varvara really hated it. In retrospect, she probably would have been happier not to come with us haha. She loves us, but does need constant entertainment. Walking around looking at things is so not her style. On the way to Old Town, we stopped at Gulliver Park, so she could play for a bit. It's a cool park based off the story Gulliver's Travels. The playground is Gulliver laying down all tied up, and all the kids playing on it look like the little people who captured him. It was cute. Varvara really loved the big slides. Then we walked and walked some more until we got to Old Town. There was a lot of cool things to see: Valencia Cathedral, the Virgin Mary Square, government buildings and more. Varvara is so much less camera shy than before, and is totally willing to take pictures with you when she's not mad at you. 😂 Her favorite pose is doing the splits in front of us, while we stand behind her. She is so funny. She goes back and forth between hating us and being our best friend a lot. She was really bitter at us for making her walk so far. She would stand in one spot and refuse to move, so we'd have to go on without her until she was scared of getting left so she'd catch up quick haha. We make terrible lesbian parents. 😂 We stopped to get keychains and postcards, and Varvara picked out the postcards she wanted. She is so cute. I wish there was a way for us to talk to her all the time. She needs a smart phone. She found her way into a candy shop, and was so excited to spend the five dollars Beach had given her. She picked out an owl piggy bank full of candy, and then filled up her own bag with candy. Beach ended up paying for it, and letting her keep her five dollars. She was in high heaven. Hahaha. Didn't take long for that joy to end though. 😂 She had been talking about getting ice cream by the Cathedral since we left, so we went to find some. Beach and I picked ours out, and Varvara begged and begged until Beach agreed to let her have two scoops instead of one. The ice cream store employee scooped the first flavor that Varvara wanted, but after she picked her second flavor, the following happened: Employee: "Do you know what that flavor is?" V: "Yes." Employee: "It's pretty bitter. I'm going to have you try it to make sure." Varvara tries it and the lady asks if she still wanted it. Varvara said yes, so she scooped it on the top. After we sat down at the table, Varvara decided she hated that flavor and was bitter at the employee for "not giving her time to say no." Hahaha oh little V. 😂 Brady tried to scoop the top, gross flavor off into the garbage, but ended up accidentally scooping all of it into the garbage. Then Varvara started to cry, she was so upset. So Beach bought her another cone of just the good time, but Varvara sulked and didn't want it. Which made no sense to us haha, oh kids. So Beach shoved it into her hand and we started walking again. Varvara preceded to eat the whole thing, but she told us that she hated it. (; After we had seen all that there was to see in our allotted time, we decided to head back to the metro, since the line that went to their house closed at 10. On the way, we ran into a street performer making giant bubbles. Varvara loved it and wanted to try. There were already some boys attempting, and it wasn't going great for them. Beach and I were just pleading that Varvara would be able to do it successfully because if not, we knew she'd be super mad. The bubble guy came to talk to us, and was really impressed at all the languages Varvara could speak. We were like proud parents. She's adorable. She ended up loving the bubble thing, and doing really good at it. We loved watching her be so happy. I wish she got to do fun things all the time and that her parents didn't suck. She looked so cute in the dress Beach bought her too. 💕💕💕 Then we kept walking, looking for a grocery store so we could buy a card for their family to leave as we headed toward the metro. We got a little lost, and kept having to turn around and walk a lot farther than we initially thought. Then Varvara started getting really upset. "WE ARE GOING IN CIRCLES. SERIOUSLY. WE HAVE SEEN THIS 5 TIMES." "How much longer?" "10 minutes." "YOU SAID THAT 100 MINUTES AGO." She was not pleased haha. Eventually we gave up on finding the grocery store and just set out to find the metro. By that point, the Lind to their house was closed, but Brady at least wanted to ride to the closest stop to their house that we could. Unfortunately, when we looked it up, we found out the closest stop was a 50 minute walk. No way was Varvara going to make it that far. She was already so mad. Beach reluctantly texted Alexander to ask if he'd be willing to come get us. He asked where we were, and then told us where to wait and said Elina would come. It toon us awhile to find the meeting location, but we got there about the same time she did. It was so awkward. You could tell she was irritated she had to come get us, which I thought was so dumb. We just babysat your child for 9 hours and took her to do fun things, yet you're going to act like a witch about driving 10 minutes to pick us up at 10:30? Jeez. The car ride home was a silent and tense one. Once there though, things were better. I could explain the situation better to Alexander than we could to Elina, because his English is better. He mostly laughed it off. Then they preceded to give us presents (two purses - super nice of them and very unexpected) and make us some pasta (that they call dumplings) for a very late dinner. They weren't terrible, except the sauce on them. It was like a Greek yogurt and it was nasty. I had to give all the contaminated ones to Beach. She liked it. Then it was time to for a long night of packing and repacking, and very little sleep, before saying our goodbyes to Varvara and Europe in the morning.