#begging though it would go so crazy can you imagine
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digital footprint goes crazy
#jk the email i use for this account i actuslly only use for this it isnt connected to snytbing else and neither is my phone number#anywahs#DANIEL RICCIARDO OH MY GODDDD#id bounce on it#when i am done with him the bed is going to be in splinters#literally scratching him up biting crying screaming begging type shit#begging though it would go so crazy can you imagine#fuck i am a COWARD#burying my face in his shoulder begging for him to not stop type shit#riding it til hes empty#till hes shooting blanks#till he gets his seat back in Alpha Tauri or Red Bull#windows fogged up bed in splinters sheets shredded#the most unholy of noises would be made#gripping the sheets rn#laying down tied down and hes just using his hand like đ#damn i need to block the people i know irl#im gonna add to this if i get any more ideas or if i decide to not be a coward#but im just gonna say that i need him so bad
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Imagine
Kinich with
With a breeding kink
Imagine him not allowed to finish inside at the beginning, but gods does he beg to
Eventually reader gives in and allows him to
Hhhhhhhhes so jekfmekdkfkeđ
ââââ i wanna see some!!
â ÛȘ â ⧠synopsis. baby fever & kinich (i cant think of anything aesthetic)
â ÛȘ â ⧠pairings. kinich x gn!afab!reader !!NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!!
â ÛȘ â ⧠director's notice. thank you all again for 1k, i might be a bit slow with posts since projects are going crazy at class rn sob
kinich who has to plead and beg to cum inside of you. even if it is in the heat of the moment; there's no shame in asking, you are his partner after all.
after a few times where stress gets to you and you both wanna relieve it (sex)- you might as well indulge into the activity, right?
but after a few more tries, you can sense how tempted your lover was to keep your hips attached to his before he came, literally having to ask you with that oh-so-whiny voice.
"ah- pretty, please- ahhn- fffuck let me cum in you- need it s'bad." you felt bad hearing how desperate he was, but no no no you both had lives outside of this. it could be a lot of hassle. jokes on you though because he already has baby names planned out for them ^_^
so in love with the way your hole just takes him so good he can't help but ask more and more, it'd be an honor to orgasm with you anyway, he wouldn't have it any other way.
kinich who already had your legs hoisted up on his shoulder, his gloved grip strong against the plush of your thighs, archons was he hot. "p- please.. c'mon i've been treating you real nice, right? let me breed you." he whispered into your ear as he leaned forward.
ever since he saw you with mualani's baby niece in your arms, cooing to her like how any parent would. making the small child in your arms smile, and giggle at your peekaboo attempts, or how you tickled her with a sense of gentleness.
what would your kids with him look like? shit he could already imagine.. his black-blue hair and your (e/c) colored eyes. or what if they had your hair, and his eyes? or maybe they'd be your little carbon copy, and take after their dad for personality. his mind hasn't stopped ever since seeing the situation unfold in front of him.
but when you finally let him, of course he has to build up the best orgasm for you both to share! fitting his head into the crook of your neck; "what do you think our kids would look like? or act like?" it felt like the more he talked, the faster he went. "mmph.. maybe i jus' wanna see you with a round belly. jus' wanna see you bearing our child."
he could already imagine life after you've given birth, what would he name them if it were to be a girl, or perhaps a boy? maybe a mixture of both of your names? or let you decide?
"ahh- u- uhuh? you like the way i thrust into you, right? i'd hate for you to be uncomfortable." he hummed as he continued drilling his cock into you. your hole was already so wet from the previous foreplay beforehand, well of course when you let him cum inside, he'll want a taste of your pussy before it's alllll gone!
he'll still ask you if he could kiss you right after. he wants to make what'll happen now special for you and him to look back onto in the future. laughing or not at the past, he'll make sureit's memorable..
of course by the evident, and growing bulge in your tummy. oh fffuck you could feel it coming already-
"d- don't cum yet, p- pretty. w'na do it together." he mumbles out, barely being able to control himself, he placed one of your stray palms onto the mark on your stomach. "you feel me inside you?"
you couldn't help but let out a loud moan, throwing your head back before he quickly pulls your hair to look back at him.
"don't look anywhere else, pretty, i wanna see the way you look when i make you cream on my dick while i cum too. okay?"
you could hear the loud sound of his shaft slapping against you loudly in the stray hallways of the outside lobby of the hotel you both stayed in- previously on a mission.
even what felt like the fifteenth time you've came on his cock again, it just seemed like it only throbbed, continuously hard throughout all your climaxes. each dominant vein on his cock you could feel, the way his grip tightened around your waist as he took the gloves on his hands with his mouth to make sure not to waste a drop.
"mmf- k- kin i'm g'na-" you try to close your thighs, but to no avail, as kinich's palm, previously on your hair, moves swiftly to keep them open. "i know y'can take me baby, don't worry."
kinich who wrapped a possessive arm around you as you came, holding your waist close to his as you came. as his warm load shot up inside you, letting you arch your back all you wanted on the base of his cock. your arms instinctively rang around his neck, still shaking, trembling almost from coming with him.
he slowly let you lay down on the comfort of the pillows.
he leans down next to you, his fingers still keeping themselves inside your hole.
"not a drop wasted, 'kay?"
he couldn't wait 'till the day came that he'd be able to see kids of both your descents-
"what's with all the-" ajaw's jaw drops at the scene of you cuddling, and kinich hand still inside your hole.
"..." "..YOU ARE DISGUSTING!!"
i kind of ran out mid way for ideas, so sorry if this isn't what you were looking for sob
#ââââ resin: performances#genshin impact x reader#genshin drabbles#genshin headcanons#genshin fanfic#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact smau#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x you#genshin x gn reader#genshin x you#kinich fluff#kinich#kinich x reader smut#kinich smut#genshin kinich#kinich x reader#smut#x reader#natlan x reader#cw breeding#cw sex mention
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Feverish
Spencer Reid x Reader
18+ â€ïžâđ„
Spencer canât keep his hands off of you in his fever induced delirium.
Inspired by a scene from The Tearsmith (on Netflix)
âWhat happened?â You ask Morgan whoâs got Spencerâs arm draped over his shoulder.
Spencer is out of it, delirious, coated in sweat. Yet he grins at you.
âPopped for the flu, probably from those kids earlier this week,â Morgan answers as he puts Spencer in the passenger seat of your car.
âI knew the flu shot was a waste of time,â Spencer muses. âItâs an educated guess at best as for what strain will circulate through the population,â he scoffs and shoves on sunglasses.
âWonderful,â you groan.
âYouâve already been sick this season, youâre probably fine,â Spencer mumbles and lulls his head back in the seat.
âI think thatâs why he said to call you,â Morgan smiles.
âWell, itâs great to see you again. Stay safe,â Morgan hugs you by way of farewell.
Taking care of your sick ex boyfriend on your long anticipated three day weekend was not high on your bucket list. But here you were.
You drop into the car next to him and heâs already fast asleep. Feeling his forehead, you confirm that heâs burning up.
You and Spencer had ended things amicably four weeks ago. Your crazy schedule as a labor and delivery nurse didnât mesh well with his chaotic FBI job. It didnât mean you didnât care for him. Perhaps that made seeing him so sick that much harder.
âCome on,â you help him from the car and into your house.
He stumbles up the front steps but youâre able to hold him up.
âSorry, dizzy,â he murmurs.
âItâs okay,â you place your hand at the center of his chest, pushing yourself under his arm further to support his tall frame. The heat coming off of him could almost burn you.
You had never been more grateful that you opted for a one floor house. You imagined getting him up a flight of stairs would be impossible.
âHere,â you sit him on the edge of your king sized bed but he just flops onto his side, tucking his face into your pillow. He breaths in deeply, you can hear how congested he is.
You hurry to your medicine cabinet to get him a concoction of fever reducers.
âTake this,â you sit him up.
He barely opens his eyes, just groggily obeys and trusts the pills youâre giving him. He knows youâd never do anything to hurt him.
You wipe the water from his lips gently. He purses his mouth as though to kiss the pad of your thumb longingly.
You slowly undo the buttons of his shirt, you needed to cool him down. Heâs drenched in sweat.
âSit up,â you pull him up with a hand on the back of his neck and push the shirt off of his shoulders. Your eyes trace his body longingly, but only for a moment.
You gently lay him back down and start undoing his converse so he can get more comfortable. He groans at the movements as you tug the shoes off and discard them, adoring his mismatched socks.
You brush his hair from his forehead and prompt him to open his eyes. He does but theyâre heavy with fatigue.
âYouâre going to be fine Spence, just tell me if you need anything,â you whisper.
You gently caress his cheek, his eyes fluttering closed. You relax your hand in the center of his bare chest, unable to help how drawn to him you are. You missed him. His lean body with the thin sheen of sweat had your heart fluttering. Touching him was too much, too overwhelming. You sigh and stand from the bed.
His arm wraps around your waist and he tugs you weakly back into the bed. You fall half onto him and half next to him.
âDonât go,â he murmurs and buries his face in your stomach like youâre all heâll ever need. You run your hands through his long hair and hold him close to comfort him. It doesnât even bother you that his hair is damp, you just want to help him.
He pulls you more onto him and twists his hands into your shirt. Youâre nearly straddling him now, leaning over him as he groans and begs for you to be closer.
âSpence,â you warn.
He nudges his face into your abdomen, between your breasts. Heâs so out of it you doubt heâs even aware of his actions. His mouth clamps over your nipple which is hardening through your shirt. This is so wrong, but it feels so fucking good.
Your body reacts to him, your hips grinding down against his. You canât help it.
Your tank top rides up and his mouth trails sloppily against your now exposed skin, causing you to suck air through your teeth harshly. Heâs kind of kissing you, but more seemingly needing to touch you with his mouth. He leaves moist trails of kisses against your stomach. He grapples at your body, heâs needy, heâs panting. Heâs whimpering against you.
Heâs burning up.
âShhh, Spence,â you sink down next to him and nestle into the crook of his arm.
You push away your arousal. That was not happening right now.
Besides, clear headed Spencer wouldnât touch you that way after breaking up.
âNeed you,â he moans.
âNot right now baby,â the nickname slips out. It was habit.
His buries his face in the crook of your neck, heâs breathing hard as his hand trails down your body. He digs his nails into the soft skin on your hips and squeezes lovingly. His fingertips move down the plane of your stomach and graze just under the edge of your waistband but he goes no further. You take in the sight of his large hand on your body again, those fingers, the way the muscles and veins move as he does. Your traitorous pussy clenches around absolutely nothing. Ugh.
He begins to kiss the soft spot of your neck and you canât help but to tilt your head to give him better access. His hand moves up to squeeze your breast, pulling a moan from you. God you needed him so bad. But he was so sick. His desperation for you was driving you mad.
You hear him shudder as a chill washes over him. But he ignores it, moving so his laying on you, kissing your nipples through the thin fabric of your shirt. His eyes are still closed, heavy with sickness. But he slides his strong arms under you to hold you even closer to him as he continues to kiss and sucking at your neck. He nudges your tank top down and pulls your nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.
âAh, Spencer. Baby,â you writhe beneath him, but heâs got you pinned.
He kisses you until he canât anymore, until his grip on you grows weaker and his mouth lingers on you longer.
He grows tired and rests his head on your chest. He keeps you beneath him, most of his body weight laying between your legs. His head rests on your stomach as he starts to doze off. His warm breath fans against your skin.
You push your hand into his hair to keep him right where he is. Heâs absorbing your body heat, his breathing beginning to slow.
A content sigh escapes his chest and he finally falls asleep.
You can still feel the ghosts of his hands and lips, messy and needy on your body. Itâs like he was devouring you, like you were the only thing that could save him. He was absolutely out of his mind, acting on instinct and primal need despite being sick. Itâs like he couldnât help it, couldnât stop himself from touching you.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#mgg#mgg pics#dr reid#spencer reid one shots#spicy spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid smut#Spencer reid cute#spencer reid fanfiction#Spencer Reid long hair#Jesus Reid
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Between Silken Sheets | Headcanons
About: How are they like when they are underneath the bed sheets with you? Random assortment of steamy headcanons.
Pairings: Xavier/Reader, Zayne/Reader, Rafayel/Reader + Bonus! Caleb/Reader
Warnings: First times, Inappropriate use of Evol (Xavier, Zayne, Caleb), No protection (Caleb), please tell me if I'm missing anything! 18+ Only please. Enjoy :)
Xavier
Timid at first, his fingers tracing your form as though convincing himself that this, that you are right before him naked, was a dream.
He isn't very experienced, if at all. But he is eager to learn all you're willing to teach him, and is a fast learner. He memorizes all your sweet spots instantly, and is quite the explorer, wanting to find more of them.
Skilled hands with thick long fingers, deft at prodding your soft spot. Combined with his observant nature, he immediately would pick up on the slight change of your pitch as you moan, mentally filing that spot he just hit into places that would drive you crazy.
His usual aloof expression is nowhere to be found, replaced with the intense focus that he reserves for missions. But instead of Wanderers being his prey, you are.
Being a hunter that is always on the move, he is always in tip top shape. His stamina is nothing to scoff about, being able to go round after round late into the night as long as you are willing.
With experience, he grows bolder and would initiate more often. His hands wandering wherever he could reach when you cuddle with him on the sofa.
He would also be more teasing, turning you into a whimpering mess before pulling away to admire his handiwork.
While not said... Imagine if his light Evol felt like it's vibrating with energy. Him creating a tiny ball of light Evol and having it stuck onto your clit before pulling away, stroking his stiff cock while watching you squirm and plead underneath him.
"You're not the only one who knows how to tease, you know." "This is payback for earlier. If you want me to continue.... Beg me."
Zayne
He had seen and touched your naked form more times than you can count. He is your primary healthcare physician after all. He had kept all those times professional as expected. So when you are in front of him, naked under an entirely different context... He froze.
It wasn't from fear, but rather from enthrallment. It was only then he realized how attracted he is to you, his eyes unable to focus on anything else but you.
Being a doctor at one of the busiest, if not the busiest, hospitals, he never had time for intimacy, much less relationships. No one had caught his eye anyway, until you came back into his life. So while inexperienced, he isn't ignorant. He knows where to touch you to make you crumble and into an incoherent mess.
He handles you like you were spun from glass at first, but with time, his touch grows rougher, leaving indents and marks on your skin as he fucks you, his pace relentless.
His cold facade is gone whenever you two are alone together. And with you underneath him, praises and filthy promises easily spill out of his mouth. Praising you for being so good to him, for taking his cock so well.
He is very cautious about his ice Evol, but imagine. His ice cold fingers thumbing over your nipples while you're blindfolded, and the next second he envelops your pert nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. It takes some time for you to convince him to use his powers this way, but once he starts, oh is he addicted.
"Nnh- You're feel so good around me..." "Relax. Tell me if it's too cold, okay? ...Good girl."
Rafayel
Being a painter, Rafayel had have many models pose naked for him before. He should have more control when it comes to you being naked for him, right? Wrong.
You offered to pose for him naked but he always denies, because he knows he wouldn't be able to focus at all. He would end up studying your body more, on what he would like to do to you, instead of what themes he want to bring out of this piece.
It's one thing to study you from afar, but it's another to have you on his lap. His face is red as it could be, his eyes on anywhere, anything, but on you. You would have to take the lead at first, his breath hitching and his heart jumping out of his throat the moment you grabbed his hands and placed them on your body.
Rafayel was not new to sex, he had plenty of offers before. But he refused them all. As curious as he was to whether sex will inspire him to create art, the act was too intimate for him to indulge. But you are different.
Your touches lit a fire under his skin, his inspiration rearing to go with every kiss. And suddenly he understood why many artists cite their lover as their muse.
As he got more comfortable with touching you, his desire to pin you to the wall like a painting grows. To immortalize your every expression and arch of your back into art.
He would treat your body as a canvas, leaving kisses and bite marks all over your skin as he buries himself deep within you, and admire his work afterwards.
Sometimes he likes it when he is in control, but other times, when things get too stressful, he prefers when you take charge. Just like you sometimes begging him to stop staring and just fuck you already, he would also sometimes plead to you to let him fuck you as he thrusted against your heat.
"Please- Mmh- Please let me fuck you-" "I want you now... Please have mercy on me..."
Caleb
Caleb had forgotten when he had started to see you as someone more than a friend. He was pretty sure it had been during high school, and when you had no outward sign of liking him back, he resigned himself to a fate of unrequited love.
His expectations were subverted however, and he thanked whatever God was out there for hearing his prayers.
His touch was gentle, reverent. As though still in disbelief that you returned his feelings and would let him touch you in ways that would drive both of you mad with want.
He would leave kisses all over your body, worshiping you and praising you all the way as he made his way down to your heat. Your moans were music to his ears, and he couldn't help but undo his belt buckle and stroke himself as his tongue lapped up all the juices flowing out of you.
He had dreamt about you more times than he could count, his cock always stiff and yearning for you the next morning. So when this fantasy of his finally came true and you were underneath him, squirming and clenching around him, he lost it.
It was embarrassing that he came inside you so quickly, but can you blame him? He had wanted you for so, so long. And now that he finally has you, he just can't help it.
You don't have to worry though. Despite having came moments prior, his cock was still hard and twitching, ready to pick up where he had left off.
You never really knew what his Evol was exactly, all you knew was that he could levitate things. He had used this against you many times, but now... Well. Sometimes he would use it to lift your skirt up. And sometimes... He would lift you up into the air and hold you there, rendering you unable to move and fight back against his teasing fingers.
"Looks like you can't move now, yeah?" "You know I won't let you down... Not until you come on my fingers first."
#love and deepspace#love and deep space#love and deepspace xavier x reader#love and deepspace zayne x reader#love and deepspace rafayel x reader#love and deepspace caleb x reader#love and deepspace headcanons#yeah i. im very down bad please send help
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Phone sex with jake
Just imagining that it's your ovulation week and your hormones are going crazy to the point where you canât think about anything else other than sex
It was at the end of your ovulation week when Jake had just arrived in LA for kcon and he facetimed you as soon as he got to his hotel. To your disadvantage Jake had been too busy to meet with you all week so you saw this as your only chance. Even though the time difference was big you told him you would stay up waiting for his call. You were desperate. âHey baby I miss you so much, I wish you could be here with meâ
âMe too, itâs so boring without you hereâ. The whole week just consisted of you fingering yourself imagining it was Jakeâs hand. But your small dainty fingers could never compare to Jakeâs. He could literally make you cum multiple times with just his fingers alone.
When he would finger you it would send you into another universe, like your mind would go completely numb. He would shower you with dirty praises that would make your head spin. Jake always wore rings when he fingered you because he knew how much you loved the feeling. The cold metal from the rings on his long fingers brushed against your clit as he aggressively pumped them in and out of you. Waves of pleasure spread throughout your body to the point where you wouldnât be able to speak properly.
After a while of you and Jake just chatting, your mind couldnât help but notice how you could see the shape of his cock through his grey sweatpants. You felt so guilty and pervy for noticing that while you both were just having an innocent conversation over the phone but you couldnât help it. Jake would have been considered an idiot to not have noticed the way you kept looking down at his cock. He would shift in his seat manspreading as leaned back giving you a better view of his lower body.
âYou look so sexy right now, why donât you stand up and twirl for meâ You purposely wore his favourite lingerie pyjama set because you knew how much it turned him on seeing you in it. The laced shorts barely covering your ass cheeks and your nipples being clearly visible since you had no bra. âYou wore that for me didnât you?â. You nodded in response. At this point you couldnât care less about how pathetic you seemed. âHas my baby been that needy without me?â he cooed
âYes, I need you so bad Jakeâ you begged him, your eyes filled with desperation and need. Jake loved seeing you like this.
âNow be a good girl and strip for meâ. You immediately obeyed him and took off your pyjamas slowly, wanting to tease him. Jake bit his lip enjoying the view of you stripping as he adjusted in his seat again due to his growing boner. âShow me that pretty pussy babyâ
You positioned the camera to your lower body giving him a perfect view of that area as you slowly took off your underwear. âFuck babyâ he moaned out as he began to rub his bulge.
âPlay with it for meâ he demanded, which again you immediately obeyed. You slowly began rubbing yourself in the room that was filled with sounds of your wetness and quiet moans. Jake pulled his pants down to reveal his black calvin klein boxers, the ones you loved. You could see how big his cock was and when he pulled it out the tip was overflowing with precum. He slowly started fisting his cock, moaning with each pump. âFuck, i wish it was your pussy instead of my handâ he groaned as he leaned back again trying to get more comfortable.
âIâm gonna cum Jakeâ you whimpered as you began rocking your hips to the sight of him fisting his cock while he told you all the dirty things heâs going to do to you when he gets home. âYou canât cum yet princessâ he wanted to edge you until you couldnât take it anymore. âYou're gonna cum for me when I tell you to, understood?â
âAnswer meâ
âYesâ you could barely speak
âGood girlâ
You and Jake were both panting as you both were getting closer and closer. âIâm gonna cum fuckâ Jake said. âCum for me now princess, you can do itâ the pet name making you immediately cum without warning. Jake followed you as he came all over his hand, his strokes becoming slower.
#enhypen x you#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen fic#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard headcanons#enhypen jake#sim jake x you#sim jake smut#sim jake x reader#jake sim#jake hard hours#jake hard thoughts#jake headcanons#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jungwon#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen jay#enhypen sunoo#heeseung x reader#jungwon x reader#jay x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader
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niccolo bf headcannons, how would he be with his gf, particularly a shy girl :))
oh my gosh heâd be insufferable (but also the sweetest guy ever?)
i did this with a few headcanons and a short imagine cus i didnât know what one youâd like! enjoy!! đ€
- this boy would love to see you get all flustered from his compliments, or hide your face to not let him see how red itâs getting. - if you were diverting your eyes from him for whatever reason, heâd definitely make you look at him - âlemme see that pretty faceâ - âcâmon ma, i donât biteâ - âunless you want me toâ - all jokes aside, if someone were to talk over you when you were finally trying to speak your mind, heâd make sure you knew he was paying attention atleast. - âshut up and let her finish, yeah?â - heâs the only one allowed to tease you for how flustered you get - someone else goes âoooh sheâs blushing, nicco, look whatcha do to her,â - he is pissed - âyeah? what about it?â heâd snap, knowing you wouldnât want him to be too rude, but simultaneously not wanting you to be embarrassed - heâd def say some choice words to them later, regardless of if they were his friend or not đ - if you wanted him to, heâd order for you at a restaurant, or things of that sort
â ËïœĄâàšà§Ë
you and niccolo were sat on his couch, with brando and vittorio sitting beside the two of you, chatting mindlessly about something trivial. you had your legs splayed over niccoloâs thighs, his hands holding them in place.
you were reading a book, one that he had gotten you a few days ago, his excuse being he had just saw it and remembered you wanting it. the reality had been that he had waited for it to be released, just to be able to purchase it for you as soon as it did.
either way, heâd never forget the way your face had lit up when he presented it to you. with your expression, it couldâve been guessed that he gave you some crazy expensive gift, rather than just a fifteen euro book.
the boys continued talking, though niccoâs gaze kept flashing back towards you, as if he couldnât bare to draw his eyes away for longer than a couple minutes.
you finished the chapter you were on, putting a small slip of random paper in as a bookmark.
he turned towards you, noticing the look in your eyes. it was always like he could read you like the books you always had your nose stuck in.
brando and vitto turned the conversation to just be between the two of them, letting niccolo talk to you rather than them.
you started chatting about the book, slowly changing subjects into how your day was. he listened close, occasionally nodding you along so you felt more comfortable letting him know about all these things.
that was, until brando started tapping the boyâs shoulder, trying to get his attention. you stopped talking, wanting niccolo to be able to talk to his friends, not wanting him to feel obliged to listen to you ramble.
this made him suddenly frustrated. he couldâve dealt with the incessant hits against his shoulder. but now that you had stopped talking, now that he wasnât able to listen to your sweet voice, he was upset.
âbro, âm right in the middle of a conversation here, fuck off,â nicco sassed towards his friend, causing him to hold his hands up defensively and turn back to vitto.
then, his voice softened as he looked back towards you, âgo ahead, babe, âm listening,â he urged, his eyes scanning over your face.
you shrugged, âitâs fine, you can talk to your friends,â you assured, opening up your book again.
âcâmon, please,â he practically begged, just wanting to hear more about how you were doing. he disliked doing this in front of his friends, as he hated for people to see the softer side of him, especially people like vitto.
still, heâd do anything for you, and heâd do it a thousand times more.
âtell me more about the girl you saw in the halls. what was her name? ludo?â
it was as if a switch in you flipped, as you nodded at the mention of your friend, going into a more in depth story about the dark-haired girl.
you had no clue what was yet to come with her.
baby taglist: lmk if youâd like to be added!
divider by h-aewo!
#niccolo rossi#niccolo govender blurbs#niccolo govender x reader#niccolo govender imagines#niccolo govender#baby on netflix#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott imagines#lorenzo zurzolo x reader#lorenzo zurzolo imagine
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won't let you go (this time)
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
summary: back home for good after a semi-unsuccessful first year at university in a new city, youâre looking forward to getting back into the routines of your old life in the town you grew up in but the one person youâd been desperate to see doesnât seem too pleased about your return :(
genre: angst.. ......... fluff, smut, college au, exes to lovers, second chance romance, slow burn
warnings: minors dni, british in a way that's not vague (might be vague.. it's hard to tell when ur british), so so long, sad heeseung, long paragraphs..
word count: 36,007 .. (apparently, i'm in a competition with myself to see who can write the longest fic)
playlist: seasons wave to earth, understand keshi
author's note: writing this fic was like pulling teeth and then cooking pasta out of it.. bUT IT'S DONE !!! also one of these scenes is smth i reworked from a fic i posted to wattpad in 2021.. thanks @asahicore for the beta u rock ! and as always be lmk ur thoughts (positive/negative/anything) đ€
fic taglist: @enhastolemyheart
Lee Heeseung had often imagined what it would be like when he saw you again.Â
Sometimes, he envisioned you standing on his doorstep, playing with the cuffs of your sweater. Other times heâd dream up a chance encounter at the local grocery shop, where youâd be distracted and bump the end of your trolley into his. Heâd even pictured a sun-soaked vacation, a gorgeous white sand beach where the temperature would be inching past the thirties. You, laying out on a patterned towel, lost in the pages of a book, and your pretty face obscured by its cover. Yet, even with the sun in his eyes and his poor vision, heâd recognise you without a doubt.Â
Regardless of circumstance or setting, in all of his hazy daydreams, youâd look up at him with unbridled love in your eyes and say the words he wanted to hear all those months ago: I choose you.Â
Heeseung had always imagined that his heart might glow in his chest, through his shirt like something from Jane the Virgin, and youâd know you made the wrong decision.Â
But sometimes, typically when in an alcohol-fuelled state of despondence, these images would be rougher around the edges. Heeseung would be hot, with bleach-blond hair and thick dark browsâa walking, talking beacon of sexual energy when youâd see him. In his head, it would happen at a party or a club somewhere, and heâd be too busy talking to another girl to notice you, his arm hanging off of her, lust clear in his eyes. Somehow, even in sweatpants and an old hoodie of his, youâd still look as beautiful as always.Â
âHeeseung,â youâd say, completely crushed with tears welling up in your eyes under furrowed brows. âI choose you.â
Reluctantly, heâd draw his eyes away from the girl and notice you, finally, and a smile would spread on his lips, a mean one, condescending. Heâd shrug, wrapping his arm tighter around the girl and say, âYouâre too late.â He wouldnât mean it, but heâd say it just to drive you crazy. Make you beg him to take you back for months until he felt youâd suffered enoughâas much as he had.Â
These thoughts were few and far between and mainly followed by hot, guilty tears rolling down his cheeks because he knew it was his fault. After all, he was the one to let you go.
For now though, the little round table in Markâs backyard seats four, and, in the arms of a balmy summer night, Heeseung chooses the seat closest to the fence. The garden light is still busted so in his seat of choice, furthest from the kitchen door, heâll go completely unnoticed but still see anyone who might join him outside.
His phone is freezing when he takes it from his pocket and unsurprisingly holds no notifications beyond the outsiiiide text heâd gotten from Jake before the party started. Through Instagram stories, Heeseung watches the night play out from the perspective of people who are enjoying themselves while ignoring the voice in his head that tells him he could be one of those people if he tried.Â
Maybe he was a fool for believing that tonight would go differently and that the boys would keep their âbroâs nightâ promise for longer than it took to cross the thresholdâbut itâs not like he blames them. Maybe he was a fool for believing he would find more company than his somewhat abandoned bottle of Peroni that watches him mockingly from the glass table.Â
He grimaces after taking a sip from it, remembering that he was only ever carrying it around so his friends wouldnât feel the need to load him with shots. Now heâs not so sure that wouldâve been a bad thing, seeing as heâs completely sober and aware of the tightness in his chest as he scrolls through the text thread heâs had pinned for years. Its end came abruptly; revived only by an ignored blue bubble saying: i heard youâre back home for the summer..Â
Seeing it now, he regrets hitting send even more than he did two weeks ago. Heeseung hates himself for believing the boys when they said it was a good thing that you opened the message right away. âMeans sheâs thinking of u 2 dude,â was Jake's message to the group chat (along with four bicep emojis and two red exclamation marks). Jay replied: i hope you guys can talk things out! And Sunghoon didnât say anything.Â
All your conversations bring up memories that hurt more than the last but he has to take a break when he reaches a text you sent last January: i had so much fun tonight, hee, idk how to thank u enough :((( i hope ur not in too much trouble.. i love you i love you and iâll love you forever !!!
He ended up getting grounded for three weeks and lost car privileges for months after staying out four hours past curfew, but heâd do it a million times over if it meant heâd get to see you as happy as you were that night on the two-hour drive back, running your fingertips over the Sharpie autograph of your favourite author on the bookâs front pageââHeeseung?âÂ
His jaw falls slack and his whole body stiffens. If you donât count old videos in his camera roll, Heeseung hasnât heard your voice in over a year. The back door slides shut and when he finally lifts his head, he wants to throw up. Even without the glow of the kitchen lights on your face, heâd still be able to make out the cute point of your nose, and the slight curve of your soft lips. Unfortunately, the breakup only seems to have made you even more beautiful and he hates himself for wishing you were having a hard time too.Â
âHey,â you say. âCan I sit?âÂ
Regaining his mobility, he moves his shoulders in a stiff shrug. The sound of your chair scraping the concrete makes him cringe and he hates that you chose the seat closest to him.Â
âI didnât think youâd be here tonight.âÂ
Heeseung scoffs, his brows furrowing defensively. âYou didnât think Iâd be at my friendâs party?âÂ
You set your jaw. âOkay.âÂ
An unbearable silence follows, so heavy he can feel it sitting on his shoulders, weighing him down. Thereâs no way to know how much time has passed but he feels less tense when you start to hum, drumming your fingers against the table to the beat of whatever song the kitchen door is struggling to muffle. If he doesnât think too hard about the lingering quiet, it feels like everything is okay between you two.Â
His heart races when you giggle. âYou still do that?âÂ
âDo what?âÂ
You smile before mirroring his expression, puffing up your cheeks and exhaling dramatically a few times. Due to the heat, nothing comes of it but you laugh anyway. âYou always liked when it was cold enough out to see your breath. I remember having to nudge you every night of summer to get you to stop.â
To Heeseung, thereâs something sinister about the fact that you can so easily bring up a memory you share with him. About the fact that even after what happened, his cheeks heat up just from seeing you grin. He deflates, unable to look at you, finding interest in the label on his bottle instead. Itâs slightly curled up at its edge, and he runs his thumb over it a few times before peeling it off completelyâwith some struggle, leaving a sticky patch in its wake. Under your loaded stare, he folds it a little to make a square before trying to craft a swan or a crane (you were the one who knew these things) from the sticker.Â
Your hands are just as soft as he remembers when your fingers touch his, though it shocks him so much he drops the label, immediately withdrawing his hands and, for lack of a better option, sitting on them. Even softer than your hands is your voice when you say, âI donât want things to be so tense between us.âÂ
It must be easy, he thinks. For you to say something like that after dumping him. Heeseung wants to laugh, to let his head fall back and cackle from sheer disbelief; you really must have some nerve. Instead, a bitterness, raging and sour, works in his chest, choking the laughter into silence. It pushes his lips into a scowl as he lifts his head to look at you. Youâre shivering with your arms crossed over your chest and Heeseung softens. Without thinking, he shrugs off his flannel to drape it over your shoulders, almost regretting it when he fixes his tongue to scold you playfully like he used to. Still too hot for a jacket, right, baby? he wants to say. This is the last time Iâm doing this for you, next time youâre on your own. Heeseung figures that somewhere, in another reality where youâre still together, a version of him says these things but continues to give you his flannels and jackets anyway.
Heâd give anything to be that Heeseung instead.Â
Over the last year, heâs been replacing the clothes in his wardrobe. He noticed that during your time together you steadily wore every t-shirt, flannel, and hoodie he owned. Now, as you thank him with a sincere smile, he realises heâll have to donate his new favourite shirt too.Â
âWhatâs in your pocket?â you ask, reaching in to find out. A bleak carton of cigarettes sits full in your hands as you look over at him with wide eyes. âYou smoke now?âÂ
âNo.â Heeseung shakes his head. âNever.âÂ
Back and forth between your hands, the box and its contents rustle. âReally? Because thisââ You pause to pull a lighter from the same pocket. ââand this tell me something different.â
âSunghoonâs quitting again,â he explains, with air quotes around the word quitting.Â
âOh.â You let out a laugh, nodding fondly. âHeâs on, like, five weeks or something by now, though, right? Surely you donât still need to carry these around for him.â
His head tilts so quickly he hurts his neck. With knitted brows, he inspects you. Nothing about your expression seems like youâre trying to hurt him, in truth, you look like youâre being quite sincere; your eyes are wide, curious, and your lips are quirked up at the corners with an amusement he adores. âSix,â he corrects. âHow do you know?âÂ
âHe told me.âÂ
âYou guys still talk?âÂ
A shoulder-dropping sigh falls from your mouth as you put the cigarettes and lighter back in his pocket, raking a hand through your hair. âYouâre the only one who doesnât talk to me anymore,â you say in a small voice.Â
The five of you stuck together in high school â where he and Jay first met you, Jake, and Sunghoon â and he knew it would be unreasonable for him to expect your shared friends, especially the youngest two whom youâd known longer, to turn on you. He also figured, given how close youâd grown to Jay, and his undying rationality, that his best friend would outright refuse to shun you on Heeseungâs behalf. Even though they didnât need his permission, he told them that he didnât want them to feel like they had to pick sides and that he was perfectly happy for them to keep talking to you. On one condition: that none of them tell him anything about you or your life without him unless youâre hurtâa condition theyâve clearly carried out more faithfully than Heeseung expected them to.Â
Bile rises in his throat thinking about all the things your friends have kept from him about your year away. His heart twists over mundane details like your class schedules and favourite things to eat for lunch, and his eyes sting with tears over the important stuff like new friends and, worst of all, new partners.Â
Heeseung jolts out of his chair, knocking the table so hard with his thighs that his bottle tips over. Youâre quick to catch it. âMy mumâs calling,â he blurts out, overwhelmed.Â
âHeeseung.âÂ
âI really have to go.âÂ
âHeeseung!â you call out, but heâs already back inside.Â
You donât follow him.Â
But that was in June, and now itâs September.Â
While his friends complain about the chill of autumn, Heeseungâs just happy he can comfortably wear hoodies everywhere again. In a cool lecture hall, home to his Ethics and Responsibility class for the next few months, he relishes the feeling of soft cotton against his ears as he copies the course reading list into the first page of his notebook.Â
âIs someone sitting here?âÂ
Heeseungâs stomach sinks to the floor. Reluctantly, he lifts his head, and through the gaps in his bangs, he sees you and the way your face falls when you see him, instantly looking around the room.Â
âOh,â you say, eyes blown. âIâm sorry, Iâll just..â you trail off.
He scans the room, chewing his lip when he realises that, despite the lecturer not having arrived yet, the seat to his left, with his backpack on it, is the only empty one. âItâs okay,â he says, trying to seem nonchalant as he takes his bag from the chair and puts it on the floor.Â
âThanks,â you mumble, frowning a little as you sit down.Â
In the light of day, he really sees you and a lone butterfly, one he was sure had died with the rest last year, flutters lazily in his stomachâwings buzzing against the lining, tickling him. Even with messy hair and tired bags under your eyes, youâre just as beautiful as the first time he saw you. Itâs unfair, he thinks. That you could be dealing with this and still manage to look presentable. Jealousy kills the butterfly, stirring a pit in his belly at the thought that you were able to break up with him and continue with life as normal on the other end of the country, making new friends and new memories as if nothing happened.Â
Even when Dr. Kim comes in and starts the class, Heeseung canât take his eyes off of you. You havenât lost any of your mannerisms, he notices when you stick your tongue out a little while typing notes as the lecturer says them, barely looking up from your laptop to see the slides.Â
At the end of the lecture, all he has to show for it is the reading list and a couple of bullet points that seemed important as he copied them from your screen. Side by side, you silently walk down the stairs to leave the room, and the sight of Sunghoon through the doorway pulls a relieved sigh from Heeseungâs chest.Â
Sunghoonâs brows raise seeing you together and he clears his throat when youâre close enough. âHey, you two! My little study buddies,â he says in a strained voice. âFirst day back! First day for you, YN, what was that like?â He sounds like heâs reading from a script as he walks between you.Â
Heeseung lets you answer, listening to your voice as he walks behind you down the stairs. He wonders if things will be this way forever, briefly contemplating throwing himself over the bannister so he doesnât have to find out. If youâre uncomfortable, you donât show it, talking excitedly with Sunghoon about the class, mentioning things Heeseung hadnât even heard, despite having sat through the same hour-long introduction lecture as you. He trails behind the two of you all the way to the library, where Jay is sleeping with his chin on his arms and Jake is staring at the table of contents in his textbook. You cut yourself off, jogging over to the table theyâre sitting at to wake Jay. As soon as you wrap your arms around him, he flinches, waking up with his brows pulled together.Â
âWhat are you doing?â Jay mumbles, trying to shake you off.Â
As Heeseung sits beside Jake, he skims over the front page of the textbook, trying to remember what tensile strength means. Sunghoon stands at the end of the table looking at his phone, and you sit next to Jay, pulling your seat a little closer and letting him rest his head on your shoulder. Heeseung looks away, trying to bury the unease building in his stomach.Â
Sunghoon breaks the silence. âCan we go get food?â And suddenly, you all stand up, filing out of the library towards the Tesco Express down the road.Â
Jay and Sunghoon take the lead, picking up their lunch without much thought before waiting in line at the self-checkout, while you, Jake, and Heeseung spend an ungodly amount of time weighing up options in front of the meal deals. Heeseung gets the same thing every time but looks at every single sandwich, drink, and snack option just in case before picking up his food.Â
âJust cheese is crazy, bro,â Jake says, shaking his head. âWhatâs wrong with you?âÂ
Heeseung shrugs. âItâs reliable.âÂ
âItâs absurd.âÂ
You hum between the two of them, tilting your head thoughtfully. âI donât know, I think itâs cute.â Your shoulders rise and fall in a casual shrug, almost as if you havenât just paid Heeseung a compliment for the first time in a year and three months.Â
Jakeâs eyebrows raise, a grin playing on his lips as he glances between the two of you when you step forward, pulling a just cheese sandwich from the shelf too. âCute,â he repeats. âSure.âÂ
Outside, Jay and Sunghoon are sitting on a half-finished brick wall, and while normally, Heeseung would say something to interrupt Jayâs never-ending lecture series on making the most of your meal deal, he doesnât want to draw attention to himself or the small smile heâs struggling to keep off his face.Â
âHoon, think about it,â he says, resting his giant can of Red Bull on the stepped brick next to him. âA meal deal costs ÂŁ3. You get a sandwich, a drink, and a snack, all for ÂŁ3. You, foolishly, bought a sandwich, a snack, and a bottle of water, you gave them money.âÂ
âYeah, man, anyone who shops anywhere gives money, thatâs, like, an entry-level requirement.âÂ
âBut Iâm taking money from Tesco, you get it?âÂ
Jake sighs, taking a seat next to Sunghoon. âYouâre technically right, but you still paid for your food under a promotion Tesco created. If you really wanted to take from Tesco, you should be stealing your lunch. Also, the sandwich he got was ÂŁ2.85, and thereâs more water in his bottle than Red Bull in your can, so I actually think Hoon got the better offer today.âÂ
Beside Heeseung, you roll your eyes, wrestling with a packet of crisps while juggling everything in your hands. Seeing your struggle, he reaches over, taking hold of your drink and sandwich. âThanks,â you mumble, smiling. You glance towards Jay and Sunghoon, then back at Heeseung. âAre they always like this?âÂ
He nods with a slight frown. A tiny laugh comes through your nose as you nod too.Â
During the walk back to campus, as you split your sandwich with Sunghoon, Heeseung has an unsettling realisation. If he wants to get you back, heâll have to start out being your friend. Heâs not too sure what that will look like, seeing as the two of you were friends for six weeks â that he spent hopelessly in love with you â before he asked you out. All he knows is he wants to be the one you share your lunch and link arms with unthinkingly. While he assumes that your shared friend group and three out of four classes will naturally lead to friendship, things might go better if he makes an effort.
He doesnât.
Not today at least. The second and last class of the day ends much like the first, with a heading in his notebook, and slowly reviving butterflies in his stomach every time your knee bumps into his under the desk. Again, neither of you says much as you leave the class to go meet Jay in the library. Heâs awake this time, grinning at the girl across from him.Â
âTheyâre so cute!â
âTheyâre talking.âÂ
âYeah, in a cute way. Look at the smile on his face,â you say as if anyone could miss Jayâs grin or the way it widens when he notices you and Heeseung staring.Â
Yunjin immediately looks over, waving before getting out of her seat to come over. She greets Heeseung with a hug before flinging her arms around you, gushing about how itâs been so long. Heeseung feels his brow raise when you giggle and say, âWe hung out two weeks ago.â
She loosens her hold on you, looking down into your eyes with a shocked look. âYeah, two weeks too many. What are you doing later?âÂ
It feels like Heeseung skipped a chapter and his stomach hurts when he realises he hasâa whole year's worth of the contents of your life. Of course, Jay already introduced Yunjin to you, of course, youâre already friends.Â
Leaving you with Yunjin in the library, Heeseung and Jay walk back to their flat. They take the long route home, through the winding bike path and over the creaky footbridge by Sunghoonâs old apartment. Jay is eerily quiet, only responding in nods and humsâthis silence means one of two things, heâs either too exhausted to speak or heâs saving his words to reprimand Heeseung at home.Â
Outside their flat, Jay hesitates, gripping the handle tightly before turning to Heeseung. In his eyes is a familiar look, the one he typically wears before telling someone off and Heeseung bites his tongue lest he pisses Jay off even more. A few times, Jay opens his mouth but doesnât speak, exhaling a deep sigh as he rests his head against the door. âI want you to know Iâm on your side, sort of,â he says. âIf itâs too hard being around YN, we can always hang out together instead, just us.âÂ
Jayâs key clicks in the lock and Heeseung watches, shocked. He didnât expect that at all.Â
âItâs not like itâs hard, just weird, you know?â Heeseung runs a hand through his hair, leaving his shoes by the door while Jay locks it before following him into the living room and sinking into the couch. âWe have the same friends, so I canât avoid her, but I donât think I want to.âÂ
âLike I said, we can just hang out on our own if weâre on campus.â Jay pauses for a beat, clearly pleased by whatever heâs thinking about as a smile spreads on his face. âIt might do you some good being around her though, like, to see why none of us want to date her.âÂ
The offer is generous and Heeseung spends a while considering it. But as Jay said, it probably would be a good thing to hang out with you if he wants to build the friendship he finds himself craving.Â
âIt might also do you some good to, you know.. start looking nice again. Itâs been a year, dude, and sheâs back now, donât you want her seeing what sheâs missing out on?âÂ
Heeseung cocks his head to the side, surprised and honestly a little offended. âAre you saying Iâm ugly now?âÂ
âNo, Iâm saying it probably wouldnât hurt to put some essence in your hair, touch up your roots, and, you know, use deodorant.âÂ
Reflexively, he grabs the pit of his hoodie, bringing it to his nose and sniffing furiously. The only thing he can smell is fresh detergent and he looks at Jay with a frown. âSo you think I should change everything about myself basically.âÂ
âI hate to be the one to say it..â Jay trails off, head falling back in contagious laughter. âSeriously though, if you want her back or, at least, want her to miss you, start putting some effort in.âÂ
Heeseungâs eyes are wide as saucers. âShe doesnât miss me?â
âYou spent the whole day together, why would she miss you?âÂ
âSo she doesnât.âÂ
âI didnât say that.â Jay shrugs.Â
Outside, a cloud moves away from the sun, letting it shine right through the window and into Heeseungâs eyes. He squints a little, groaning before bringing his arm over his face to shield himself. Jay laughs and Heeseung flips him off. âYou didnât really say anything.âÂ
âAre you crying?â Jay coos.Â
âSure.âÂ
âToo bad, Iâm taking a nap. Club later?âÂ
Heeseung grunts in response, considering taking a nap too.Â
A dramatic sigh tugs its way from Jayâs chest. âLook, itâs not my place to say, but she told me a few months ago she was miserable in first year, something about wanting to see some guy she dated in high school.â
âYou knew she was coming back?â Heeseung practically jumps in his seat, sitting up straighter. âYou knew Iâd see her today and you let me leave the house looking like this?â Itâs not like he looks bad in his oversized black hoodie and sweatpants but he might have taken the time to do more than run a hand through his hair this morning if he knew.
Jay holds his hands up defensively. âYou said you didnât want to hear anything about her unless she died. I was just doing what you told me to.âÂ
âI think it goes without saying that that wouldâve been a nice thing to know.â
âNoted.â Jay nods. âClub later?â
Despite saying no, Heeseung finds himself at the club anyway, having a friendly dance battle with Jay while you hype them up, filming blurry videos with your finger over the camera lens. Jake and Sunghoon came out too but went off to find girls.Â
Heeseung spent all of pres and the journey to the club worrying about being drunk around you. Or rather, worrying about being drunk around drunk you. Drunk you who typically gets clingy and oversentimental just looking at a bottle of vodka, or brings up old memories and uses pouty, gloss-coated lips to say things without thinking of the consequences. For better or for worse, you havenât done any of that yet.Â
Between knocking back drinks and rivalling the club photographer, you find time to make a look of disgust every time a guy comes near you, immediately shaking your head and pressing yourself against Heeseung before mumbling an apology in his ear each time, even though he tells you itâs okay. Your admirers start to dwindle when he dances with you to a song you like, letting you hold his hand and pull him closer, all while wishing heâd stayed asleep on the couch.Â
Itâs only when the fifth guy shows up with a stupid smirk on his face, that Heeseung speaks up. His arm finds your waist and he holds you close as he looks at the stranger. âDude, leave her alone,â he says, angling his shoulder to him in an attempt to shield you. âSheâs not interested.â The weight of his words is lost on him until the guy rolls his eyes, shrugging and mumbling whatever as he leaves.Â
He saw how uncomfortable you looked after being approached and hated how long it took for you to start enjoying yourself again, so in the moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. To look after you. But now, as he stands with his hand on your waist, his skin touching yours at the hem of your shirt, heâs starting to feel like heâs crossed a line. Itâs the worst possible time to freeze in place but thereâs nothing he can do about it, and Jay staring at him, with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, isnât exactly helping.Â
With embarrassment burning his cheeks and neck, Heeseung finally looks down at you. You look almost as shocked as Jay for a split second before letting your hand rest on his chest, smiling. The moment feels endless until you lean up to his ear and Heeseung has to bend down a bit. âThank you, Hee,â you say, still smiling when you pull back.Â
All he can do is nod, smiling too.
Over your head, he sees Jay grinning and the heat returns to his cheeks. As if suddenly aware of your position â your hands now resting on his shoulders, chests held together by your grip on each other â the smile falls from your face as you take a huge step back, bumping into Jay while Heeseungâs hand slips from your body.Â
âLetâs get more drinks!â you yell to Jay, slinging an arm over his shoulders to pull him away.Â
On his own, Heeseung dances to three whole songs, only stopping when Yoo Jimin wraps her arm around him, holding him in the worldâs tightest hug. âLee Heeseung, did I just see you all over a girl?â The interaction takes him by surprise, seeing as he hasnât actually spoken to her since before summer. âLetâs go for drinks soon, to say congrats on finally moving on!âÂ
This, of course, is when you and Jay finally return. Jimin notices before he does. âBe good to him,â she yells, smiling, and never letting go of Heeseung. âBad breakup!âÂ
You stand there, holding two drinks so tightly your hands start shaking, causing one to spill over your fingers. A strained smile spreads over your lips as you nod. âRight! Iâll try!âÂ
As quickly as she appears, Jimin vanishes with a smile on her face, pleased with herself. You visibly relax, handing Heeseung his drink and swaying to the music again. Just like at high school parties, you let Jay sling his arm over your shoulders as you dance together. Back then, youâd dance with all of your friends while waiting for Heeseung to return, usually with a cup of water for you to drink, but tonight, with Heeseung standing there, it seems like heâs as good as dead according to you.Â
Itâs around 2 a.m. when you and Jay decide youâve had enough, with Jay struggling to keep his eyes open. After failing to locate Sunghoon and easily finding Jake with his cap on backwards and makeup all over his mouth and cheeks, the three of you let him know youâre going home.Â
As seems to be the unspoken rule amongst your friends, Jay walks between the two of you while trying to convince you both that if you had fun tonight, thereâs no reason to regret having gone out. Even if it means youâll be sitting in class holding your eyes open. Heeseung ignores him, conspiring out loud about Sunghoonâs whereaboutsâgetting lost on his way to the restroom or finding an ice rink out back.Â
For a while, you entertain him before sighing. âI saw in the chat, he said heâs out talking to a girl he saw wearing a band shirtâNirvana.âÂ
The notion is so surprising that Heeseung almost stops in his tracks. Jay voices his shock with a raised brow and an incredulous tone. âHoon listens to Nirvana?âÂ
âNo, but sheâs pretty. I had to send him a screenshot of their popular songs on Spotify when one of her friends came over looking for a lighter.âÂ
At Jayâs request, you and Heeseung spend the rest of the walk back to your flat trying to name fifteen Nirvana songs. By the time you reach the lift in your building, youâve successfully listed nine and the three of you stand inside while you look for your keys. On your doorstep, you pull Jay into a tight hug, whispering something in his ear that makes him laugh as he pats you on the back and says, âYou probably could.âÂ
Pathetically, Heeseung hopes youâll hug him too. With no hesitation, you do, arms locking around his neck, leaving him with flushed cheeks and a racing heart. âThanks for looking out for me,â you whisper, lingering by his ear before burying your face in the base of his neck.Â
Heeseung holds his breath, counting to twelve before you lean away from him, your arms in place as you look up into his eyes. âIâm always going to look out for you,â he manages to say. He can already hear Jay teasing him about it when theyâre alone, but the smile on your face is worth it.Â
In your doorway, you wave goodbye and they wait outside until they hear your lock clicking before heading home, where Jay doesnât tease Heeseung at all.Â
Turns out, getting home at 3 a.m. when he has a class at 10 oâclock doesnât fit in amongst any of his better ideas, but still, he gets out of bed and gets ready, heeding Jayâs advice and scheduling a hair appointment on his way to class.Â
As soon as he sits down, he gets a text from Jay: thinking of getting smth pierced later, come with?Â
Heeseung: what is smth.
Jay: cartilage probs
Heeseung: im getting my roots done at 5
Jay: okayyyyyyy good shit man !!! tmrw?Â
Heeseung: đđđ
It shouldnât surprise Heeseung that you look good, but the sight of you walking through the door in your zip-up hoodie and jeans almost knocks the wind out of him. Youâre holding your notebook to your chest, stopping in the middle of the stairs and sighing when the white strap of your tote bag slips from your shoulder to the crook of your elbow. You apologise to the people behind you before rushing up the stairs to Heeseungâs row, putting your things down and slumping into the seat beside him. The room suddenly feels warmer when you take off your hoodie and next to you and your bare arms, his heart starts to race.
âDo you have, like, an interview or something?â you ask, doodling in the margin of your notebook, filling the space with pretty butterflies that make his heart race.
Heeseung, who hasnât looked for a job in two years, panics. âNo?âÂ
âOh.â You nod slowly, looking away from him. âA date? Maybe?â Thereâs something in your voice that makes him want to say yes and see your reaction, but the look on your face makes his stomach turn.Â
âNo, neâjust no.âÂ
âYou can tell me if youâre going on a date.â
âWhy would I go on a date?âÂ
You shrug, gesturing to his outfit. Heeseung looks down at himself and the cream-coloured cardigan heâs wearing. âYou just look nice, thatâs all,â you mumble after a while. Suddenly, Jayâs Prada loafers squeezing his toes doesnât seem so bad and Heeseung sits through the whole lecture with a smile on his face.Â
The leaves yellowed on October first, and unfortunately for Heeseung, the last two weeks didnât play out how he hoped they would. Of course, he knew that you flinging your arms around him and confessing your love was probably a far stretch. But this is torture. You only talk to him when the rest of the boys are around, and even then, you only say things like, what time does class start? and do you have a pen I can borrow?Â
His nice outfits donât let up, but his hair is so long these days that you donât take any notice of the throbbing hole through his cartilage that Jay somehow convinced him to get. Or so Heeseung tells himself because his ears stick out as far as his shoulders.Â
Today marks the first time heâs sat in the library during the day for more than ten minutes, and itâs surprisingly busy. Most of his library trips take place in the early hours of the morning, playing his way through the Papaâs Gameria franchise on the computer next to Jake, who spends several minutes at a time staring at his fancy engineering software before clicking the mouse and staring again. So seeing the steady flow of students come in and out, setting up camp at their tables with headphones and thick binders, while groups of friends whisper amongst themselves, leaning back in their seats and gasping every now and then feels like a culture shock.
Thereâs about an hour until your class finishes, and heâs been sitting here for two hours already since his Music and Identity class ended, wondering if heâs making a mistake by waiting for you. Especially because he knows youâre not expecting him to. Heâs at a table right by the libraryâs entrance, so youâll see him on the way out and it can feel like a chance encounter. Uncharacteristically, heâs used this time quite wisely, deciding to go through the reading he was given on the role music plays in maintaining cultural identity among diaspora communities and making notes in the margins of his handout until your class is done.Â
Impatience starts to settle in after thirty minutes so he texts you to see to ask if your class is over yet. Immediately, your response lights up his screen: yeah about an hour ago but i stayed home lmao whatâs up :)Â
Staring down at the message, he sighs, thumbs hovering over the keyboard as he tries to come up with something to say. This goes on for a while until he realises what heâs doing and his heart clenches. How did you go from spending every waking moment texting each other to clutching at straws for a valid reason to talk?Â
At the very least, the smiley face you sent is doing wonders for his declining mood.Â
Heeseung settles on, âi just left office hours and wanted to know if anyone was still around haha,â before hiding his face with his hands.Â
oh nooooooo :( sorry dude, you reply. howâd it go?Â
In the six years he spent by your side, heâs never known you to use the word dudeâat least not with him. By the looks of things, it seems like your time away was spent studying Jakeâs texting patterns or a secret other thing that makes his head hurt when he thinks about it.Â
Sighing, Heeseung types back: good! had a couple questions after sem but it went well!Â
You react to the message with a heart but donât reply. He doesnât have enough time to think about what that might mean because Mark approaches the table, clutching the straps of his backpack with a grin on his face that makes Heeseung feel at ease, like a wide-eyed first year riddled with anxious excitement.Â
âYou look good, man. You going somewhere nice later?â Mark asks, dapping him up.Â
Heeseung shakes his head. âJust home.âÂ
âNice.â Mark nods, gasping after a beat. âDid you hear? I made captain!âÂ
âThatâs major, dude, congrats! I knew you would.â If anyone deserves to be team captain, itâs Mark Lee. He was captain of the basketball team in high school and vetoed his spot to Heeseung when he graduated. Two years later, when Heeseung came to college, Mark had been enthusiastic about him joining the team too.Â
âIâve been thinking that my first official act as captain should be getting you back on the team?â Markâs voice tips up at the end, his brows raising hopefully.Â
The last time Heeseung was on the home court, he cried with the ball in his hands because he overheard someone in the crowd saying they didnât think he could make the shotâthey were right. He laughs, shaking his head. âWay too much pressure in uni basketball. Thanks for thinking of me, though.â
âIâm not giving up on you,â Mark says, crossing his arms over his chest. âOh, I hear your birthdayâs coming up, can I host?âÂ
âHost what?âÂ
Markâs hands clap soundlessly as he laughs. âA party, obviously! Twentyâs a big one! Iâll text you the deets, alright?â he asks, though it doesnât sound like Heeseung has a choice because Markâs already walking away, still laughing to himself.
In Heeseungâs eyes, thereâs nothing better than knocking back (more than) a few bottles of soju with friends and singing your heart out in the four walls of a karaoke room. Worried about killing the mood, he enjoys from a distance, staying glued to the booth, ad-libbing for the boys and polishing off their drinks as discreetly as he can. The table is adorned with a collection of empty bottles and buckets of feasted-upon fried chicken that still envelop the room in a mouth-watering aroma, while a green strobe light pierces the air as Jake and Sunghoon wrap up their cover of Party Rock Anthem.Â
By the time Jay manages to convince Heeseung to sing something, heâs four bottles in and searching for the most heart-wrenching ballad he can find. Sofa by Crush has always been his favourite karaoke song. Even when it first came out and he was in a happy relationship; even at home, alone in the kitchen, using a broom handle as a makeshift microphone, singing until his voice went hoarse and tears stained his shirt.Â
It feels like fate when the songâs title flashes across the screen in big bold letters and he knows thereâs no real way to ignore destiny, so he chooses it and stands up from his seat. Weighed down by alcohol and an aching heart, he stumbles to the front of the room to stand with his back to his friends. Clutching the mic until his knuckles turn white, he takes a deep breath, letting the intro wash over him before singing. He gets through the first half of the song before practically caving in on himself, too moved by the lyrics to stay on two feet. To Heeseungâs credit, heâs always had a beautiful voice, so heâs not exactly tanking in that respect, but if he was even a tiny bit more cognisant, heâd scrape himself up from his knees and finish the rest of the song in the same light-hearted way everyone else had.
The lights shift through red and blue, casting a pretty glow over the dim space and streaking purples and pinks all over the wallsâaesthetically, the room is as moody as Heeseung feels. If he had eyes on the back of his head (or picked himself and his dignity from the floor) he might notice the way everyone else in the room is struck by his sadness, with all three boys sitting in solemn silence as a drunk Jay records the whole thing.Â
Tired of watching his friend fall apart, Sunghoon gets up from his seat, muttering dick at Jay for filming before taking the phone from his hands and cutting off the recording. He lifts Heeseung at the armpits like a baby and takes the mic. Clearing his throat, Sunghoon half-heartedly finishes the rest of the song while Heeseung cries into his shoulder. Their duet scores them 63 points and Jay spends the next few minutes texting. Heeseung appreciates Sunghoonâs efforts, crying more as his emotions oscillate from love for his friend to yearning for you, all while Jake attempts to lift the mood with a genuinely moving performance of Highway to Hell. From the way heâs air-drumming and bouncing his leg to the song, anyone could tell that Sunghoon is desperate to join in, but holding back for Heeseungâs sake. With a hiccup, Heeseung wipes his tears with his sleeve and throws himself out to the front, accompanying Jake with an air guitar. Itâs only during the start of the second verse that Jay and Sunghoon join in, and a full-fledged rock band moment falls upon them as if gifted from heaven.Â
After another hour of singing and drinking, Heeseung and Jay race up their apartment buildingâs stairs. Panting heavily, with his heart beating in his throat, Heeseungâs knees ache when he reaches the top â though caught up in catching his breath and the sight of you sleeping against the doorframe â he canât even celebrate his win.Â
âHuh,â Jay says when he joins him. âHowâd she get here?âÂ
Heeseung can only shrug in response.Â
Suddenly self-conscious in your presence, he stands up straighter, pushing some of his hair off his forehead. Jay moves from behind him, approaching you, but Heeseungâs too hung up on the way you hold your jacket tight around your body to do the same. He wants to thoughâwants to help you out, pick you up and hold you in his arms, kiss your forehead and lovingly scold you for staying out in the cold. But heâs not drunk enough to convince himself youâll take that well.Â
Instead, he remains glued to the spot, watching Jay wake you up, only mobilising when youâre on your feet, stretching your arms above your head. To you, the sliver of skin peeking out where your shirt ends and your jeans begin is a fleeting detail, lost entirely under a veil of just-risen drowsiness. Yet, to Heeseung, itâs everything. Itâs enough to make him want to beg you for a second chance right then and there. But heâs not drunk enough to convince himself youâll take that well either.Â
Youâre talking with Jay and thereâs a crease in your brow when Heeseung reaches you. Your voices were too quiet to make sense of with the distance but now he hears you loud and clear. âYou told me almost two hours ago that you guys were leaving soon,â you sigh, rubbing your neck.Â
Jay snorts, missing the keyhole a few times before catching it. âShouldâve just joined in, stupid.âÂ
âIt was boyâs night and you made it very clear that I donât count. And when I asked what bar you guys were at, you just said doesnât matter, leaving in ten, and, by the way, none of it was spelt correctly. It felt like you were using code.âÂ
âCaesar Cipher, perhaps?âÂ
âPig Latin, more like,â you scoff, leaning against the wall.Â
A mischievous grin spreads over Jayâs lips and Heeseung already hates whatever heâs about to say. âIxnay on the Eeseunghay.â Yeah, Heeseung hates it. He glances between the two of you, picking up on the smile you canât hide as you roll your eyes.Â
Your gaze finds Heeseungâs and your lips curl into a frown as you look back at Jay. âOtgay ityay.â You nod firmly.Â
From context â and memories of numerous private conversations the two of you used to have in his presence â he figures itâs Pig Latin, a linguistic puzzle more intricate than any the English language has ever thrown at him.Â
After a beat, you nod towards the open door. âGet inside.â
You follow the boys in and lock the door when Jay hands you his keys. He quickly heads to his room, leaving Heeseung shifting his weight from one foot to the other in the living room, staring at you. Save for Jayâs bedroom, all of the lights are off. The only light shines through the open blinds, a vivid orange beam coming from a streetlight outside, casting a harsh shadow over the room. The terminator line is starkâa clear partition between Heeseung, whoâs standing in the shade, and you, who stands in front of the window, backlit by the warm light. Youâre glowing. Or, at least, the lighting makes it look like you areâoutlining all your edges in soft orange.Â
Absently, he plays with the zipper on his jacketâunsure of whatâs going on or why youâre here at all. It takes a while, but the words finally escape him. âWhat are you doing here?â Simultaneously, you ask if heâs okay.Â
Even in the dark, your smile warms the room. For you and Heeseung, speaking in unison like that isnât anything new, so itâs not enough to rouse a reaction from himânonetheless, he smiles too. Whether by way of drunk optimism or his own sudden acceptance, Heeseungâs starting to feel as though maybe just being by your side, making you smile, might be enough for him.Â
âJay texted me, and I wanted to check in and see how youâre doing.âÂ
âWhat did he say?âÂ
âThat you were having a hard time.â
Heeseung nods slowly.Â
âActually, he saidââ You pause to check your phone. ââJay said, worried but hyung he is m let down. I think he meant meltdown?âÂ
âHyung,â Heeseung repeats, tilting his head as if the word is foreign to him. A crease runs along his brow, Jay is way drunker than he let on.
âHuh,â you utter, tilting your head too. âI actually thought m let down wouldâve gotten a bigger reaction out of you.âÂ
A moment passes, and then another before Heeseung says, âYou can sit if you want. I donât know if youâre going to stay long or anything, but you can always sit here.â
You smile and he can hear it, watching you take your coat off before sitting on the couch. Itâs a bit of a stretch from where youâre sitting but you reach over to turn on the lamp in the corner and Heeseung sits too, as far away as he can. You look comfortable, like youâre supposed to be there and the thought warms his heart.
âYou didnât have to come here. Iâm happy you did but you didnât have to,â he says after too long.Â
A frown tugs your lips down. âOf course, I did. I care about you, Heeseung, you know that.âÂ
Now doesnât seem like the time to argue, so he makes a mental note to mull over this later. âI know,â he lies, his voice nothing more than a mumble as he nods.Â
âDid you guys have fun?âÂ
Deciding it best to pretend his Crush cover went well, he nods again, smiling as he thinks about the nice parts of boysâ night. With your encouragement, he talks happily for a while about their song choices and the way they all came together in the end. âI feel like weâd get on pretty well as an AC/DC tribute act.âÂ
âDo you know what room you were in? Thereâs got to be a way for me to pull the security footage and see for myself.âÂ
âI actually think Jimin works there, she might be able to hook you up.â
âJimin?â you repeat in a different tone. The shift is so subtle that Heeseung barely picks up on it, never mind placing it or knowing what it might mean. If he were any more delusional, he might think youâre jealous, but the curiosity in your voice tells him to get out of his head.Â
âYeah, this one girl in the year above,â he explains. âShe transferred to humanities so we had a couple classes together last term.âÂ
âOh, cool.âÂ
He really canât work out your tone and itâs disconcerting. Maybe he should talk about Jimin some more. âSheâs like mega smart, and really nice too. She was actually at the club that night! The girl I was talking to when you and Jay went to get drinks,â he says, suddenly remembering.Â
âGood for Jimin.âÂ
âI think youâd like her.â He smiles. âYou know, if youâre looking for friends or anything.âÂ
You only nod, pressing your lips together and leaving Heeseung at a complete loss for words. He watches you chewing on the inside of your cheek, playing with the thread bracelet on your wrist. âIâve always loved your voice,â you mumble, looking down.
âI know.. You used to beg me to stay up on the phone singing for you.â Heeseung presses his lips together after speaking, mentally locking them and throwing away the key.
You nod with a smile on your face that makes his stomach flutter. âYouâre, like, the best guy ever.âÂ
That makes sense. That Heeseung could be like, the best guy ever but not quite good enough to stay with. He mulls over your words and contemplates setting himself on fire. Standing up from the couch, he goes over to his room. From the doorway, he says, âYou can share Jayâs bed, itâs too late to go home by yourself.âÂ
Heeseung closes his door with plans to stay inside the whole night, but only manages an hour before he gets sick of the stale taste in his mouth. He leaves quietly, and in the light from outside, he sees you sleeping on the sofa with your hands tucked under your head. His heart sinks. Without much thought, he carries you to his room, tucks you in and runs away before doing something stupid like kissing your head to go and brush his teeth. Unlike you, heâs not afraid to wake Jay up, pushing the boy over to make room for himself on his bed, where he lays awake for hours trying to figure out what went wrong with you two until his head starts to hurt.Â
In the morning, Heeseung doesnât see you before you leave, but he spends the better part of an hour with his ear pressed against Jayâs door, eavesdropping on your conversation. If you werenât talking about him he might feel guilty about this, but you are, so..Â
âI just feel bad, you know? I donât know how to fit into his life and I feel like Iâm only making things harder for him by being here,â you say. âHarder for everyone.â
Heeseung grips the doorframe until his knuckles turn white. Heâs spent too much time thinking about how to be your friend without actually trying to be, too caught up in his own feelings to see how heâs affecting everyone else. The corners of his lips droop at the thought.Â
âWeâre happy to have you back, Heeseung too. Heâs just.. hurting, you know? Iâm not sure if you heard but he kind of got blindsided and dumped by his high school girlfriend,â Jay says.Â
You laugh drily and he pictures the way you roll your eyes. âHey, uh, random Q, what do you know about Jimin?âÂ
Jayâs quiet for a bit. Or heâs whispering. Heeseung presses his entire body to the door as if itâll help. âYoo Jimin?â he asks.Â
âProbably. Heeseungâs friend.âÂ
âSheâs cool,â he answers simply. âYouâd like her.âÂ
âSo I keep hearing. Whatâs going on with them?âÂ
âNothing really. They met at some party last year, both pretty drunk, and somehow ended up in a random bedroom where she tried hooking up with him.â Jayâs words strike Heeseung like a jolt, his heart pounds and his stomach twists. It takes a lot for him and the knot in his stomach not to burst out of the room and clear things up. The main thing stopping him though, is that Jayâs telling the truth. âBut he misread the whole thing and ended up detailing your entire relationship for two hours,â Jay adds after a while.Â
âAnd now?âÂ
âWhy do you care?â Jayâs tone is teasing but the question makes Heeseung spiral.Â
His mouth starts to dry up at the thought of you admitting that you donât care, that youâre over him and just being nosy. Panic swells in his chest and he jumps away from the door as if itâs red hot, scrambling back under the covers of Jayâs bed and falling back asleep.Â
In the following two weeks, Heeseung finds himself mastering the art of avoidance. He fills his evenings with pick-up basketball games with Mark on random courts in the neighbourhood and rushes out of class before you have the chance to talk to him. Playing with Mark is fun, but he canât ignore the regret festering within him, a persistent thorn in his side. Fortunately for him, Jay, whether knowingly or not, presents him with a potential turning point. Heâs invited you and the boys over for pres before his party, instructing Heeseung to get his shit together and acknowledge your existence.Â
On the night before his birthday, the apartment echoes with your voice, yelling at Jake to get off the floor. Sunghoonâs cackles only get louder, filling the space. Behind his closed bedroom door, Heeseung catches a panicked glance of himself in the mirror, running a hand through his hair and adjusting his bangs. He lingers in his room as long as he can, trying to put off seeing you.
Jay opens the door without knocking, a lazy grin on his face and a slight sway in his stance that tells Heeseung heâs drunk already. âWhat are you doing? Weâre waiting.âÂ
âI donât know,â he admits.Â
Rolling his eyes, Jay lets out a tired groan. Itâs an unspoken scolding that Heeseung heeds immediately, following him into the kitchen, where Jake is messily pouring shots on the counter. He doesnât see you anywhere, but Sunghoon distracts him, cheering and wrapping his arms around himâalso drunk already. âSheâs in Jayâs room, Yunjin called,â he says. âOh, yeah, happy almost birthday, man. Twenty is crazy.âÂ
By the looks of things, Sunghoonâs on a mission to kill Heeseung. Twenty shots for his twentieth birthday doesnât sound like as much fun as Sunghoon thinks it does, it sounds like a punishment or a death sentence. Heeseung â put off by the smell of vodka â manages four shots before tapping out, deciding that heâd quite like to remember tonight and wake up on his birthday without a headache.
Heeseungâs eyes widen when you show up in the doorway, a confusing sense of surprise washing over him. Itâs not like he didnât know you were here; he heard you earlier. Itâs just that your sudden presence catches him off guard. His heart skips a beat and a sudden rush of nerves courses through him. He takes in your appearance, his eyes tracing every inch of you before meeting your eyes. As you run your hand through your hair, you smile at him, so pretty and genuine that he canât help grinning back.
Your dress is beautiful, of courseâblack satin, he thinks, with pretty pink ribbons tied into perfect bows on the top, and youâre the only girl Heeseungâs ever wanted in his life.Â
A whispered whoa falls from his lips, which seem to rest in an âoâ as he stares at you. Youâre looking away from him now, focused on the tequila puddle Jakeâs left on the counter, grabbing some paper towels to mop it up. Jay snorts beside him, nudging his ribs hard. âYouâll catch flies, Heeseung. Come onâdecorum, please.âÂ
Heeseung clears his throat, running a hand through his hair and wiping his palms on his pants, but he doesnât make any moves towards you.Â
âDo something,â Jay mumbles.Â
He nods in response, repeating do something, over and over in his head until he finally approaches you. âHey,â he says, breathless. His heart hammers in his chest when you look up at him, beaming.Â
âHeeseung,â you say. âHappy almost birthday. Howâre you feeling?âÂ
Before he has a chance to respond, you wrap your arms around his waist, and like itâs the most natural thing in the world, his arms fall around your shoulders, holding you close. Itâs perfect. Some combination of your warm scent and alcohol causes the butterflies in his stomach to rage, fluttering so frantically he thinks he might be sick.Â
âInsane,â he admits.Â
He can hear you laughing, feeling your chuckles against his chest. âYou know, what?â You lean away from him, arms still around his waist, eyes locked on his and a soft smile on your lips. âMe too.âÂ
An odd weakness settles in his knees, a dizzying flutter alighting his entire body as he nods. Over his shoulder, Sunghoon calls for him, chanting, âMore shots! More shots!â For a while, Heeseung ignores him, watching you until he feels his ears heating up at the top.Â
âI think I have to go,â he mumbles, eyes locked on your lips. They curl up into a crooked grin, and you use a hand to pat his chest.Â
âGood luck.âÂ
Heeseung takes a deep breath when you let go of him, taking shaky steps towards his friend, whoâs grinning widely enough to show his fangs. âSorry to interrupt, I think you could use the help though,â Sunghoon says, holding out a shot glass to him.
He shakes his head at the shot, taking it from Sunghoonâs hand and placing it down on the table. âI need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoon only shrugs, taking the drink himself, knocking it back with no visible reaction, and Heeseung thinks he must be a monster. âI really think you could fix things tonight,â he says afterwards, pouring another.Â
Instead of taking this in stride, Heeseung decides to pretend you donât exist after hugging youâitâll be easier that way. To him, this looks like staring at you in your pretty dress and snapping his neck in the opposite direction when you look over at him.Â
To appease Sunghoon, he takes another three shots and has to sit down, overwhelmed by the way his cheeks burn and how the kitchen starts to tilt around him. His mouth is oddly dry; a sensation that has nothing to do with you or the way you look in your dress. This time when you catch him staring, he smiles.Â
Even in his beyond-tipsy state, Jay manages to ensure everyone leaves the flat before requesting an Uber. Heeseung finds himself sitting cross-legged on the pavement, for some reason, scrolling through his camera roll.Â
âCarâs here, get up,â Jay eventually mumbles, nudging his back with the tip of his shoe.
With some stumbling, Heeseung stands up, dusts off his pants and heads to the car. Jay holds the door open for you, and as you slide across the backseat, your dress rides up. Heeseung screws his eyes shut, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, like resetting an etch-a-sketch. Jayâs hand claps his back as he instructs him to get in, which he does. Hesitantly, he slides into the middle seat, glancing to his right to see whoâll be joining you.Â
âYouâll thank me later!â Jay calls out, closing the door.Â
Before he even has a chance to shift over, your hand lands firmly on his knee, silently urging him to stay put. With a pounding heart, he complies. The back of his hand brushes against your thigh as he fastens his seatbelt, and the feeling of your soft skin against his leaves him breathless. He feels afloat when the car starts moving. A few minutes pass before you take your hand from his knee, mumbling an apology as you place it on your lap, idly playing with your fingers.
Mark lives about twenty minutes away, leaving Heeseung with something close to sixteen minutes to think of something to say. R&B from the early 2000s rumbles through the speakers in the car, vaguely explicit lyrics alluding to something heâs craving fill the space around the two of you, wrapped up in your warm vanilla scent and the fresh peppermint gum youâre chewing. To put it simply, thereâs not a coherent thought in his head he could express that wouldnât get him into trouble.Â
âI didnât know you were on the basketball team,â you say after a while. âWell, I did know, but you know.âÂ
âI donât know,â he admits quietly because he has no idea what youâre talking about.Â
A beat passes before you speak again. âHow was your day?âÂ
The first thing on his mind is what falls from his lips. âYou look beautiful,â Heeseung blurts out, trying to ignore the tinge of anxiety thatâs irritating his stomach. âYour dress is.. Itâs really pretty,â he adds, feeling as though he wonât lose anything by putting everything on the table.Â
âThanks.â You smile. âYou look beautiful too.âÂ
Heeseungâs breath hitches in his throat and he looks down at his outfit in the dark. If Jay hadnât interfered, heâd be wearing a hoodie and sweatpants right now, but heâs happy with the simple striped shirt and loose pants Jay suggested, even if it leaves him a little chilly. âItâs, uh, itâs actually my birthday party tonight,â he supplies uselessly.
You laugh, and itâs the best sound heâs ever heard. âI kind of just meant in general.âÂ
âMe too.âÂ
The car falls silent as he lets his head fall into the space between the headrests and closes his eyes. When you reach Markâs house, he opens them and finds you staring with a smile. âI thought you fell asleep,â you say.
He shakes his head, sliding over the backseat and opening the door. He didnât expect you to leave from the same side as him, but he likes the heat on his cheeks as he closes the door for you. Wordlessly, the two of you go through the gate and join Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon who are sitting cross-legged on the porch, giggling around a shared joint. He has no idea how they arrived before you did.Â
Heeseung isnât sure how he loses you guys but itâs not until his third round of beer pong that he actually notices. Lee Jeno and his red eyes are a poor shot, barely managing to throw the ball without hitting Heeseungâs chest or dropping it before he gets to aim. He almost feels bad for the guy when he sinks another one of his cups, watching Jeno frown before pinching his nostrils shut and taking a big gulp.Â
Jayâs sudden presence startles him, though heâs quick to grin at his best friend. The smile isnât returned. Instead, he leans up to Heeseungâs ear, yelling that YNâs crying before nudging his way out of the room. His heart sinks and he offers no explanation to Jeno, following Jay upstairs and into the bathroom where he finds you, sitting on the floor, crying into Sunghoonâs shirt while Jake watches with a frown, picking at his nails.Â
âWhat happened?âÂ
Jake talks with a hushed tone while Sunghoon helps you up before leaving. âShe didnât say anything, she just asked us to go to the bathroom with her and started crying.â He opens his mouth to continue but Jay yanks him out of the room, closing the door.Â
âIâm not, like, upset or anything,â you say after a while, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. âI donât know whatâs wrong with me. Iâm sorry. I really didnât want to ruin tonight for you so I told Jake not to say anything, but obviously, he didnât listen.âÂ
âJake did the right thing telling Jay, none of us want to see you upset.âÂ
âIâm not upset.â You hit Heeseungâs chest with a weak fist, crying more. âWhy does everyone think Iâm upset?â
âIt might be the tears,â he offers, feeling good about making you smile.Â
âYeah, maybe.âÂ
âAre you using a new liner? Mascara? You still look good.âÂ
You take a look in the mirror, resting your hands on the edge of the sink. âYeah, I discovered waterproof makeup in first year.âÂ
âIs it harder to take off?âÂ
âDefinitely, but itâs worth it, I think, for nights like this.âÂ
âYeah, right.â Heeseung nods, watching you carefully as he sits on the edge of the bathtub. Itâs like being in high school, seeing you like this. Most of the parties you went to were spent in the bathroom, with Heeseung holding your hair back and trying to calm you down after throwing up. He misses all of it except the vomit. âAre you okay?âÂ
Catching his gaze in the mirror, you nod but look down at your hands when he says your name. âItâs just a little harder being back than I thought it would be.âÂ
âOh.âÂ
You sigh, playing with your hair as you sit down next to him. âObviously itâs great seeing the guys all the time, seeing you all the time, but everythingâs fucked and we act like strangers and itâs killing me not being able to just..â you trail off. Heeseung is clearly drunker than he feels because it looks like your eyes are stuck on his lips. After a beat you slide away from him, moving until your back hits the wall. A mixture of frustration and something else colours your face. âI just donât like treating you like a stranger and I donât know how to fix it.â Before he has a chance to think or to say anything you ask him for the time.Â
âItâs 12:23.âÂ
âHappy birthday!â you say, smiling. âAm I the first to say it?âÂ
âYouâre always first.â Even last year, you sent a text at midnight, so Heeseungâs not sure why thereâs a surprised look in your eyes or why itâs making him want to kiss you more than usual. âYou donât have to treat me like a stranger if you donât want to,â he says carefully, trying to get you both back on track.Â
âI donât know how Iâm supposed to act around you.âÂ
His voice is soft when he says, âHonestly, neither do I.âÂ
âI wish I never left.âÂ
âEverything happens for a reason, I guess.â Despite the small smile on his face, heâs still trying to understand what reason you had.Â
An exhaled laugh comes from your nose and you nudge him. âWere you secretly trying to get rid of me?âÂ
âYou caught me,â he sighs, holding out his hands in defeat. âI had this whole elaborate plan. I was going to fake my death, but you saved me the trouble. Thanks for that.âÂ
Both of you share a genuine laugh and the tension in the air eases up a bit. Heeseungâs eyes meet yours; a brief moment of silence follows. You clear your throat. âIâm sorry for leaving. I really wish things couldâve been different.âÂ
It canât be your intention to hurt him by saying that, but you do, leaving Heeseung feeling the full spectrum of his emotions. A pang of hurt, of longingâhurting himself even more as he thinks about the could-have-beens. He purses his lips, looking down at his shoes. âMe too.â Sick of the tension, of his feelings, he glances at you, sitting up a little straighter. âHow about we start fresh? Clean slate?âÂ
âClean slate?â you echo, raising an inquisitive brow.Â
Heeseung nods, determined, extending his hand for you to shake. âIâm Heeseung.â
âYN,â you chuckle, taking his hand in yours.Â
He holds onto it, a playful grin tugging at his lips. âFunny, you look just like my ex.âÂ
Your eyes widen, amused. âWow, Hee, you always know just what to say.âÂ
The two of you sit quietly for a moment, but Heeseungâs just glad youâre not crying anymore. He feels lighter now, hopefully you do too. Standing up, he holds out a hand to help you get to your feet which you take, smiling up at him as you straighten out your dress.Â
âYou know,â he says, clapping his hands together. âFor a second there, I thought Iâd need a manual on how to talk to you again, but I think weâre doing pretty well.âÂ
Heeseung feels pleased with himself when you laugh, rolling your eyes and nudging his chest with your hand. âShut up,â you say, light and playful.Â
âAre you ready to get back to the guys?âÂ
You smile at him, nodding before quickly turning back to the mirror. âDo I look okay?âÂ
It doesnât make sense to Heeseung that a girl as beautiful as you could ever look just okay. Even with the slight swell to your glassy eyes, youâre the most perfect person heâs ever seen. But he canât say that. So instead, he pulls a sharp breath through his teeth, tilting his head a bit and raising his hand in a horizontal gesture, his fingers wobbling as if balancing an imaginary scale. AÂ non-committal sound escapes him, a soft eh before he laughs at the way your jaw drops.Â
You punch his arm. âHeeseung!âÂ
âCome on, you know you look great,â he mumbles, looking away to hide the flush in his cheeks. The sound of your lips spreading into a smile makes his stomach flutter as he opens the door to find Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon sitting cross-legged in the hall in front of it.
âBirthday boy!â Jay yells, springing to his feet and flinging his arms around Heeseung.Â
âAnd YN!â Jake adds from his seat.Â
Heeseung hears you saying thanks to Jake before sitting next to him.Â
âSo, did you two kiss and make up or what?â Jayâs attempt at whispering is futile and somehow Heeseungâs cheeks burn even more as he frees himself from his friendâs hold.Â
âKiss, no. Make up, yes.âÂ
âPlaying the long game, I like it.â Jay grins, patting Heeseung on the back. âSit down, letâs talk.âÂ
Heeseung sits in the space next to Sunghoon, holding his legs awkwardly to his chest. Heâs not entirely sure whatâs happening and he feels like heâs not drunk enough anymore to fully relax into it, until you leave Jakeâs side, crawling over to Heeseung and resting your head on his shoulder. In the dim hall, the boys shuffle around but itâs too dark to see what theyâre doingânot that he cares much at this point, letting his head rest on top of yours and closing his eyes. It almost sounds quite pretty when they start singing Happy Birthday, and Jake has a tiny lunchbox cake in his hands when Heeseung opens his eyes. Its purple-frosted TWENT-HEE is disrupted by a half-smoked joint stuck in the centre which the flash on Sunghoonâs phone provides a makeshift flame for.Â
âMake a wish!â you squeal, clapping your hands.Â
It takes three attempts for Heeseung and Sunghoon to coordinate the timing between his exhale and Sunghoon turning the flash off, but the candle is blown out, and, right now. Heeseung has everything heâs ever wanted.Â
Almost.Â
Heeseung wakes up pressed against the wall with an arm wrapped around his waist. An embarrassing surge of excitement courses through him as he thinks about your conversation and puts his hand over yours. What heâs met with is less of the softness heâd anticipated, and more of the coarse skin and defined knuckles heâs come to recognise as Jakeâs hand under the duvet. It only takes a look over his shoulder to make sense of why Heeseungâs nose is grazing his bedroom wall. Behind him is Jake, whoâs being spooned by you, and behind you is Sunghoon whoâs clinging onto your frame for dear life, even in his slumber. Evidently, Jayâs had a successful night and with his unwavering loyalty to Yunjin, itâs not hard to figure out what happened in the room across the hall.
With his eyes pressed shut, desperate to clutch some more sleep, he hears you mumbling. âPark Sunghoon, if you donât wake up and let go of me, Iâll kill you,â you say with a tone that frightens Heeseung and sets off a flutter in his stomach. The yelp and thud that follow seem to wake Jake up and he crawls over you to get out of bed, stretching his arms out above his head and making no effort to step over Sunghoon on the floor. You roll over in the bed, wrapping an arm around Heeseungâs waist and pressing yourself into his side. âHappy birthday,â you say through a yawn before getting up.Â
He manages to mumble a thanks, butterflies running wild in his stomach and a flush creeping up his neck as he watches you leave the room, eyes stuck on the way your hips move in last nightâs dress. He gets out of bed, sighing, untucking his shirt to cover the tightness in his pants before joining his friends in the kitchen.Â
Hungry but unmoving, you and the boys occupy the three seats at the small kitchen table, harping on about the different things as Jake whines, begging you to keep it down.Â
Heeseungâs first intense emotion as a sober twenty-year-old is betrayal. There are used dishes lying in the sink, plates, mugs, and pans â two of each â staring up at him, wafting the scent of a cooked breakfast, with no leftovers in sight, up to his nostrils. He sighs, wondering if itâs his responsibility as host, and eldest friend, to make more food for everyone, or if, as the birthday boy, he should sit around and wait for someone else to take action. Settling on the latter, he sights up on the countertop, sure to keep his back to you so he doesnât have to see the low neckline of your dress.
Finally, Jay comes back, whistling an unfamiliar tune and twirling his keys on his finger when he reaches the kitchen. âHello,â he says simply, leaning against the doorjamb as if he hadnât single-handedly ruined Heeseungâs birthday.Â
Sunghoon rubs his eyes, looking in Jayâs direction. âSo now, if I want a nice breakfast after a night out, do I have to fuck you?âÂ
Jayâs cheeks flush as he looks at his feet. âI mean, I planned to cook for you guys when I got back.âÂ
âI donât want your sloppy seconds,â he scoffs, slumping in his chair.Â
âI do, Jay. Cook for me,â you say, gesturing toward Jayâs general direction making grabby hands at him.
With a gentle smile, he crosses the room and pats your head. âWhat are you in the mood for?â
âAnything,â you mumble into his shirt.Â
Jay nods, going over to the fridge. He stands in front of it with his hands on his hips, completely still for almost two minutes and Heeseung only approaches him because heâs worried about the outside heat getting on all the food through the open door.Â
âWhat are you doing?â he asks, uttering his first sentence of the morning.Â
Jay clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck as he leans towards Heeseung. âI, uh, finished the eggs, milk, and bacon.â A nervous look covers his face before he continues. âAnd we ate your Hello Kitty pancake mix,â he adds, mumbling like he doesnât want to be heard.Â
Unfortunately, he is, and Heeseungâs mortified. âMy Hello Kitty pancake mix?!â He takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYN got that for me, we were supposed to make those together.â His voice is as whiny as his volume will allow, and he struggles not to stomp his feet.Â
âOh, you were? Howâd that work out?â Jayâs words are cutting.Â
âOkay, ouch.âÂ
âDude, it was expiring next week. Plus, Yunjin just looked so cute when she saw itâI had to.âÂ
âWhat if I wanted to make them this week?âÂ
âYouâve had the box for two years,â Jay reminds him. âThink of Yunjin.âÂ
With a sigh, Heeseung actually does think of Yunjin. Although the girl he envisions is different from the one Jay wants him to imagine.Â
They met on the first day of university. She had a guitar strapped to her back, and a huge amp in hand when she approached him. Her eyes were wide with nervousness or excitement; Heeseung couldnât tell which. Immediately, she extended her free hand for him to shake. âYunjin,â she said.Â
âNo.â He shook his head while pointing at himself. âHeeseung.â From the way she laughed at his stupid joke, he knew she was the next girl Jay would fall for.
Jay had a habit of falling in love with the first girl to do something nice for him on any given day. And then the next girl. But after hearing Yunjin talk about her gap year, spent learning guitar seriously, Heeseung had a feeling things were going to change for his friend. He was right.Â
The memory, along with the satisfaction of having figured those two out from the beginning, brings a warm smile to Heeseungâs face. âYou owe me.âÂ
âYeah, whatever. I owe you,â Jay scoffs, though the slight furrow in his brow suggests genuine remorse. âJust so you know, they werenât special or anything.. just pancakes, you know?âÂ
Heeseung chuckles despite himself. âAre you trying to make me feel better?âÂ
âMaybe a little,â Jay shrugs. To his credit, it works.Â
At least until Heeseungâs stomach grumbles, a noisy reminder of why theyâre standing there in the first place. He also learns the hard way that the fridge starts to beep when you leave it open too long. Jay laughs through his nose, closing the door with his elbow.Â
âWhat are we eating?âÂ
Jay seems to think about this for a minute, tilting his head and suggesting McDonaldâs.Â
If asked, Heeseung probably wouldnât have said he pictured spending the morning of his twentieth birthday squished between Jake and Sunghoon in a sticky booth, but heâs here and canât find anything to complain about as he inhales his breakfast. Too caught up in the way his hoodie drapes over you, he listens half-heartedly as you all quiz Jay on his night. It seems like heâs being pretty tight-lipped about the whole thing but the dreamy grin on his face is hard to miss.Â
Eventually, you all pile back into Jayâs car, with Heeseung sitting shotgun as a birthday gift, that he doesnât get to fully enjoy because he falls asleep as soon as the car starts moving. He sinks into the front seat, a contented smile playing on his lips as the warmth of the sun and his full stomach lull him into a peaceful nap.Â
At home, he thanks Jay before crawling into bed where he replies to messages before letting his head fall into the pillow.
His eyes donât even close all the way before you come into the room. âCan I nap in here?âÂ
Heeseung nods, watching you get comfortable under his duvet. In a matter of seconds, youâre just an armâs reach away, softly snoring with your back to him. Meanwhile, he spends four hours laying completely still, trying to convince himself that the heat radiating from your sleeping form doesnât make him miss you more.Â
At around 3 p.m. when everyone wakes up, you and the boys hurry away for various mumbled reasons, leaving Heeseung home alone, trying to practise his surprised face for whenever youâre all back with cake and a gift.Â
You donât return until Heeseungâs hair has started to dry after his shower, but you waste no time shuffling around the kitchen before coming back with a pretty cake and real candles with a real flame, singing for him again. With the way Jakeâs rushing him, Heeseung canât come up with a wish in time, so blows out the candles with a clear mind.Â
âWoo!â Jake cheers, clapping around a wrapped present that he immediately thrusts into Heeseungâs hands. âOpen it!âÂ
He barely gets to peel the first piece of tape before he jumps off the couch and kneels down next to him. âItâs LEGO! The Infinity Gauntlet, you know? And the best part is..â Jake pauses dramatically. âYou get to put it together with your best friend, Jake! Right now!â His excitement is endearing even though heâs ruined the surprise. âThe others can help too, I guess.âÂ
You frown at him. âI paid for the kind lady at the LEGO store to gift wrap that for us.âÂ
âYeah, and she did great!â Jake grins. âCan I help you open it? Please, Heeseung, please. Youâre taking forever.â
With a smile, Heeseung hands the box to Jake, letting him open it carefully before Sunghoon joins in, tearing the paper to shreds all while Jay records the whole moment like a proud father. All five of you are sitting on the floor now, covered in wrapping paper while Jake holds the LEGO set up like itâs his, blinking hard at the camera with a smile on his face, and itâs Heeseungâs favourite birthday yet.Â
my girl: who wants to take me on a date?
Heeseung knows he should probably change your contact name but the notification still makes his cheeks burn in a way he thinks he likes.
jake: heeseung probablyÂ
jake: idk tho
my girl: ok heeseung come to the museum with me for class
sunghoon: next time open with the museum thing holy shit.. i almost fucking volunteered
heeseung: when?
my girl: i would have rejected you hoon
my girl: whenever ur free !
Heeseungâs schedule always has a way of clearing up when it comes to you, and he skips pick-up with Mark to pick you up at your door that evening. You answer right when Heeseung knocks, sliding some rings onto your fingers with a smile on your face, saying, âHello.âÂ
âYou..â Heeseung swallows, nodding his head. Heâs doing his best not to check you out but he really canât help it when your jeans seem to fit like they were made for you. âHi,â he whispers.Â
âHey.âÂ
He clears his throat, finally managing to unstick his gaze from your thighs and gestures in the direction of the stairs. âShall we?âÂ
At the train station, you donât object when Heeseung pays for your ticket, he didnât mean to, his finger just clicked through for two tickets instead of one. Heâs happy when you donât make a big deal about it, only smiling and thanking him when he hands you the ticket. He stands close behind you, protective, letting the peak-time commuters nudge past him instead of you as you wait in line for the only working ticket barrier. You go through first and Heeseung quietly follows, trying to keep his eyes off your ass and praying that the rest of the day goes by more comfortably than itâs started.Â
The train is packed too, so you stand by the doors and, again, Heeseung stands maybe a little closer than necessary, his arm above his head gripping the yellow handrail. âWhy did you want to go to the museum anyway?â he asks, gulping when you look up at him.Â
âIâve always liked museums.â You shrug, playing with the buttons on your cardigan.Â
âI know, itâs just.. You said earlier you wanted to go for one of your classes.âÂ
âRight. Itâs a requirement for one of them. Visualising Culture,â you explain, looking him in the eyes. Suddenly nervous, he doesnât trust his voice to speak so he nods, keeping his gaze fixed on yours. âMuseum and Exhibition Studies.âÂ
âCool.âÂ
âYeah.â You nod and turn your head from him, looking through the window.Â
Your eyes are stuck on the trees outside, blurring into each other, and his eyes are stuck on the side of your face, staring shamelessly for the rest of the journey. A tinny voice announces the name of the station youâre approaching, and you nudge Heeseung gently, a silent signal that itâs time to leave. Silence seems to follow you out of the station and into the museum, but he tells himself he doesnât mind.Â
For the last hour, youâve been looking at artwork without taking note of anything or making comments, all while Heeseung observes you, wondering what youâre supposed to be doing for class. âWhatâs the point of this trip?â he finally asks.Â
Without backing away from the painting, you turn your head to look at him, raising a brow. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âLike, whatâs your task?â
You chew on your lip for a bit before looking back at the painting. He canât help but wonder if in all your time away youâve been flexing some sort of elitist muscle, or if itâs come about as a result of your fancy exhibition studies class that you had to take a test to be accepted into. Finally, you lean away from the painting and use your phone to take a picture of the blurb before looking at him again.Â
âI wanted an excuse to get someone to come to the museum with me and I wanted it to be you.âÂ
Your words are so cute and so honest that his heart warms in his chest, even as he ignores his sadness about the fact you felt like you needed an excuse to hang out. âYou could have just asked me.âÂ
Considering his words, you frown, tilting your head at him. âYou make it sound so easy.âÂ
âIt is easy, or it should be, itâs us,â he says unthinkingly. Clearing his throat, he scratches the back of his neck. âI mean, thatâs, like, the whole point of having friends, right? To hang out with them?âÂ
âWell.. yes. I just.. I donât know.âÂ
Somehow, this makes perfect sense to Heeseung who only nods his head, moving on from the frame when you do. Itâs nice watching you admire the art, to watch the soft smile that develops as your eyes scan the canvas.Â
You like looking at the paintings when no one else is, to get up close and try spotting the brush strokes. You like imagining the artist and how they might have felt as they painted, and when the paint is thick, protruding from the canvas, when you can see streaks of yellow peeking through a sludgy green. You have a lot to say about the paintings and how they make you feel, and how they donât make you feel, finding something you like in all of them.
After a while, you grab Heeseungâs hand and excitedly pull him through all the Ancient Egypt stuff, and heâs too happy that his fingers are locked with yours to worry about his aching feet anymore, and youâre so cute with your wide grin that he doesnât have the heart to tell you heâd like to sit down. He hates you a little when the two of you take turns writing your names in hieroglyphs, and you somehow manage to maintain your neat handwriting. But you make up for it by writing his name too, drawing a pretty butterfly at the end that makes his heart race.
You start rambling about shabtis and how people were typically buried with a few, depending on their wealth and status, but Tutankhamun was buried with something like four hundred, and some of them were even painted to look like him. âLook at how pretty this one is,â you say, grinning while holding your phone in his face with a picture of one. Your excitement peaks when you reach the big sarcophagus, and you let out a squeal when you open it and three kids run out, bursting into a fit of giggles. Youâre excessively cute when you ask him to take a picture of you, and then make him take a video opening the front while you're âdeadâ inside it. Which takes a few attempts because youâre laughing each time.
You tell him to delete those takes. He doesnât.
Right when heâs expecting you to get out, you grab him by the wrist and pull him in with you, closing the front of it before letting go of him. Heeseung is certain heâs lived this exact moment before, but he was seventeen and you were giggling like crazy, feeling around in the dark for his shoulders to wrap your arms around before kissing him. He has no idea what heâs supposed to do or what you want him to do, and the feeling of your breath fanning his neck in the tight space isnât helping.Â
Silent minutes pass by like hours until a kid pulls the sarcophagus open. The light is blinding but Heeseung steps out, relieved, almost thanking the kid for saving him. Youâre fiddling with your necklace and struggling to meet his eyes. When you do though, you shoot him an easy grin, laughing to yourself about nothing.Â
âDo you want to get something to eat?â Drinks maybe?â you ask after a while, playing with the zipper on your jacket.Â
Heeseung takes you to a restaurant where university students heâs only seen on Instagram walk around like they own the place. A tired-looking guy comes to take your orders before you even have a chance to take your coat off so Heeseung asks for a minute and the waiter leaves. Thereâs something in his demeanour though that makes it seem like you only have one full minute to make up your minds.Â
âWhat do you want to drink?â you ask, holding the drinks menu out to him.Â
Heeseung closes it, sitting it on the table. âProbably a beer.âÂ
You laugh at this. âYou donât have to act all manly in front of me.â Thereâs a soft look in your eyes like you mean it.Â
âI actually like beer these days.âÂ
Your brows raise and your jaw drops before you utter the word whoa.Â
âWhat?â he asks, suddenly self-conscious.Â
You shrug, collecting yourself. âYouâre just.. different now.âÂ
The very prospect of being different is shocking to Heeseung who prides himself on being pretty consistent with his behaviour. His brows knit together as he tilts his head. âBecause I like beer?â he asks, scoffing slightly at the mere suggestion.Â
âI mean, thatâs part of it.â To his dismay, this seems to be the end of your sentence. He gives you a little nod, hoping you read his mind and elaborate like he wants you to. âYou bleached your hair, pierced your cartilage, whatâs next? Are you going to tell me you have a tattoo?âÂ
Heeseung feels his breath catch in his throat when you say the word tattoo but you donât seem to notice. âItâs been a year,â he points out, folding the corner of his napkin, pressing his thumb against it with enough pressure to leave a defined fold and have it stick up a little when he lets go.Â
âI know, itâs just.. weird, you know?â Your voice is small when you speak, soft and quiet, barely anything above the noise around you both.
Heeseung nods. He does know.Â
âYouâre weird too.âÂ
âHow?â Thereâs a defensive tone to your voice that makes him chuckle.Â
âYouâve always been weird.âÂ
A dramatic frown curves your lips and the waiter is back before you can object. Leaning forward slightly, he orders for both of you, the sharing platter of fried chicken, your French Martini, and his controversial draught beer. He doesnât miss the way you raise your brows when he orders the beer, as if youâd been waiting to catch him out or something. After the waiter leaves, Heeseung meets your gaze briefly, matching the gentle smile on your lips before looking away.Â
The drinks only take a few minutes and you thank the waiter before looking over at Heeseung, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you slide your cocktail over to him. âDo you want to try?âÂ
He nods, lifting the glass and moving the straw out of the way to take a sip from the rim. Nodding his head, he hums in approval, eyes widening. âItâs good.âÂ
You lean back in your seat, twirling the straw when he hands the drink back to you. âYeah?â you ask, smiling triumphantly as if you made it yourself. âA normal person wouldâve used the straw.âÂ
Heeseung canât help but roll his eyes, liking the way you laugh. âAre you acting out because I called you weird?âÂ
âA little.âÂ
The waiter places the platter at the centre of the table with a small smile, that you match, clearly hungrier than youâd been letting on as you lick your lips at the sight of the chicken. Heeseungâs stomach grumbles quietly as the scent hits his nose and he feels like he hasnât eaten in days when a plate lands in front of each of you. A comfortable familiarity settles over him when he lets you pick first, and he knows you feel it too from the sweet smile you give him before eyeing the food. You take a while considering every wing, even though all of the pieces are scarily identical, before picking one and Heeseung follows, choosing with much less care than you, but enjoying it nonetheless.
Under your light-hearted scrutiny, he orders a cocktail the next time the waiter comes around. Itâs much better than his beer, and so quickly, one cocktail turns into two until both you and Heeseung are four drinks in, laughing over nothing and putting in an effort not to slur your words together.Â
Time seems to pass at the same rate as your drinks, though neither of you seems to notice until you check the time on your phone and your mouth falls into a gasp. Heeseung does the same when you show him your screen, you only have ten minutes to make the fifteen-minute walk back to the station so you can catch the last train.Â
He gets up to settle the bill as quickly as humanly possible before you grab him by the hand and book it out of the restaurant. Though breathless, he knows he canât let up, running as fast as his legs will carry him as he tugs you along behind him. Somehow you still have it in you to cackle every time either of you trips up.Â
Out of breath, you both slump into the first seats you find, sobering up a little after the run. He looks at you and feels his heart snag in his chest. âYou okay?â he asks, huffing out a breath that pushes his bangs into the air.
âNo,â you whine, pouting and resting your head on Heeseungâs shoulder. He lets his head rest on top of yours reaching his hand out to grab your own. He squeezes it gently, in a way he hopes is comforting. You lock your fingers with his before he can pull away and Heeseungâs heart starts pounding again.Â
He doesnât realise youâve fallen asleep until the train reaches your stop and you donât react. He doesnât want to wake you up, nor does he want to let go of your hand, but he knows he has to. Heeseung nudges you gently, rousing you from your sleep. âLetâs go,â he mumbles.Â
Stretching your arms above your head, you nod while yawning.Â
You take tired steps alongside him on the short walk back to your apartment, not saying anything until you reach your doorstep when you yawn once more, looking up at him. âI actually had fun today, thanks for hanging out with me.âÂ
âActually?â Heeseung raises a brow. âDid you think you wouldnât?âÂ
You shrug, chewing on your lip. âI thought it might be awkward.âÂ
âIt kind of was.âÂ
âMaybe,â you admit with a nod. âIt was a pretty successful first date though.â Your eyes are like saucers as your hand flies up to cover your mouth. âNot in that way. Iâm only saying âdateâ because thatâs what I said in the chatâI wouldâve called it a date if Hoon came with me, you know? I didnât see this as a date if thatâs what youâre thinking. Because it wasnât. And I didnât.âÂ
âMhm,â Heeseung hums with a sceptical look on his face, finding amusement in watching you scramble to correct yourself. âFirst dates are always awkward, baby, donât worry.â The endearment slips out before he can help it, his heart stopping in his chest until he sees you smiling.Â
âWell, yeah, but this wasnât a date, baby.âÂ
âAre you sure? I mean, you made me pay for your train ticket, I paid for dinner and drinks. As far as first dates go, Iâve been a perfect gentleman all night.âÂ
âThat you have.â You nod once, firmly. âIâm not going to pay you back or anything. And this is hardly our first date.âÂ
Heeseung grins despite himself. âIs this your way of saying I can bill you for our other dates? Do you have savings?âÂ
Your head falls back in laughter, the sound infectious as it falls from your lips. You sigh softly, straightening up after a beat and nudging his shoulder with your fist. âStop making me laugh or Iâll do something stupid like kiss you.âÂ
His heart races in his chest, caught between your laugh and the thought that maybe that wouldnât be such a bad thing. âI feel like if we pulled up a typical date timeline weâd be right on track for that, donât you think?âÂ
âHeeseung,â you mumble, face softening. It doesnât seem like youâre finding this funny anymore. Your gaze locks on his lips â a hyper focus that makes him press them together nervously â before snapping up to meet his eyes. You gulp. âGoodnight, thank you for today.âÂ
âAnytime.âÂ
âDonât say that or Iâll take you up on it.âÂ
Heeseung shrugs. âYou say that like Iâd have a problem with it.âÂ
âYou wouldnât?âÂ
âNever.âÂ
A small laugh comes through your nose as you smile up at him. âIâll see you, let me know when you get home.âÂ
âGot it.âÂ
Wordlessly, you open the door, crossing the threshold before saying goodnight again. Heeseung says it back, watching you shut the door and waiting for the lock to click before he leaves.Â
Heâs never drinking with you again.Â
Heeseung feels like heâs settling into the role of your friend quite well. So well that he can spend time alone with you without the discomfort he felt in September. Maybe heâs taking liberties, bending the word friendship to suit him, but as you lie in his bed together, your head on his chest as you nap, he canât bring himself to care too much. He knows heâll get hurt by this at some point, but for now, heâs just happy to play with your hair and try his best to fall asleep too. You donât stir when Jay opens the door, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight before him, tilting his head before closing the door quietly.Â
Sleep never reaches him, but he pretends to yawn, rubbing at his eyes when your alarm wakes you up, making a point to stretch his arms over his head and only respond to you in a lazy mumble when you speak. âWhose idea was it to nap between classes, again?â
âI think it was yours.â
âDamn,â you mumble, yawning again before laying back down, head returning to his chest as if drawn by a magnet. âI think ten more minutes, fifteen, and then we wake up and go back.âÂ
âOr we could skip?âÂ
The suggestion makes you jolt upright, fully awake now. You let your eyes drag over his face, and maybe Heeseungâs being hopeful or straight-up imagining things, but your gaze lingers on his lips for more than a few seconds before you gulp and meet his eyes. âLee Heeseung trying to skip class? I never thought Iâd see the day.â A smile spreads over your lips, turning into a laugh as you throw your head back. âThat was funny, Hee. Letâs go.â
Heeseungâs brows furrow, watching you stretch your arms out in front of you. Was it so hard to believe he would skip class if it meant spending more time with you? His lips settle into a pout. âIâm serious.â
âNo, youâre scaring me. Come on, letâs go,â you say, making no attempts to get up.Â
To prove a point, Heeseung shifts under the covers, lying on his side with his back to you. âYou go ahead, Iâm staying.âÂ
You sigh but donât get out of bed, only lying down next to him and draping an arm over his waist. âTen more minutes.â You press yourself against his back and he feels his heart racing. As quickly as he feels it, you stiffen behind him. âIâm not crossing a line, right? Holding you like this? Itâs always been easier to sleep if youâre next to me,â you say into his shirt.Â
Remembering the way you would cuddle into his side during sleepovers, his heart aches, wondering if you had endured the same sleepless nights as him. Heeseung only lifts your arm to turn onto his back, pulling you onto his chest like you had been earlier. âFifteen,â he says.Â
Seeing as neither of you bothered to set another alarm, you sleep through class, only waking up when itâs dark out and Jay comes back. âI bought dinner, come eat,â he says, leaving the door open on his way out.Â
Wordlessly, you both peel yourselves from bed, dragging your feet to the kitchen to wash your hands before joining Jay in the living room. Heeseung sits cross-legged on the floor by the coffee table while you and Jay sit on the couch. Heâs not awake enough to fully register your conversation over the rustle of plastic takeout bags and his sudden overwhelming hunger, but youâre telling Jay to shut up, mumbling something and he lets out an exaggerated groan, clutching his chest when Heeseung turns around to hand over your food.Â
With his elbows on the table, he takes a bite from his burger and has to suppress a moan. Most of your conversation with Jay goes over his head and he doesnât realise how much time has gone by until youâre standing at the door pulling on your shoes. Given the way Jayâs lying on the couch, Heeseung assumes heâs on walking-you-home duty and grabs a jacket before stuffing his feet into Jayâs slides.Â
The conversation is light as you walk together, Heeseung making sure heâs on the edge of the pavement the whole time and letting you talk about your friends. The walk has become so natural now that he only realises youâre approaching home when you take out your key to open the door to your building.Â
âDo you want to meet before class tomorrow? To go over the slides we missed today?â you ask, with something behind your eyes that Heeseung sleepily interprets as hope.Â
He nods, smiling at you and waiting for you to lock the door before he leaves.Â
Jayâs awake when Heeseung gets back home; he canât say heâs surprised. Heeseung only nods at Jay, who sits on the couch, but he knows his flatmate well enough to know thereâs a conversation coming because the TV is off and his laptop is shut. Heeseung makes it all the way to his door before Jay says anything. âYouâre in way over your head.âÂ
Heeseung sighs, not in the mood. âOkay. Night,â he says, opening the door.Â
By the time November arrives and Jakeâs birthday approaches, everything is back to normal again. Turning nineteen, Jake celebrates with a modest pub crawl that spirals into a three-day bender, leaving him bedridden for nearly a week due to dehydration and fear of a test heâd forgotten to study for.Â
In standard Jake fashion, he manages to bounce back and sits across from Jay at his favourite restaurant only six days after his actual birthday. Considering the state he was in, itâs a wonder he can stomach the smell of alcohol, let alone down four cocktails without a pause. Jay and Sunghoon exchange sighs, each supporting one of Jakeâs sleeping arms on their shoulders to carry him home.Â
âCover the bill and let me know the amount. Iâll transfer you in the morning,â Jay mumbles before they leave.Â
You shake your head when Heeseung asks if you want to go home as well. âUnless you want to,â you say, all of your words blending together. âIf you want to go home, we can. I donât want you sitting here bored or anything.âÂ
Heeseung smiles. âIâm not bored, we can stay as long as you like.â You seem to take this to heart, nodding and flagging down a waiter to order more drinks. âLetâs maybe slow down a little though,â he suggests.Â
He pours you a glass of water and makes you drink the whole thing, withholding your alcohol until youâve finished the cold tteokbokki in front of you. Gradually, you become more coherent, wiping your face with your hands and sitting up a little straighter. You thank him when he pours soju for you and take tiny sips from the glass here and there, telling Heeseung about some of the friends you made while you were away. Thereâs Yizhuoâsweet, funny, and down-to-earth. And Minjeongâa quiet girl who needed a while to warm up to new people. You tell him about meeting her for the first time, how unsure she seemed when Yizhuo introduced you two, but by the end of the night, she was falling asleep next to you in bed with her arms and legs tangled around you.Â
âDo you miss them?â Itâs a stupid question, anyone could tell from the fond smile on your face that you do.Â
A beat passes while you think about it before shrugging. âNot as much as I missed being here.â If he wasnât watching you, or looking you straight in the eye, he probably wouldâve missed the longing in your gaze.Â
Heâs never known you to be subtle after a drink, and Heeseung knows he needs to nip this conversation in the bud before either of you says something you canât take back. âHow are you getting on with your research task?â he asks, while at the same time you say, âIâm so happy to be back.âÂ
A short laugh slips out of you, a hand falling to the table before wrapping around your glass. You bring it up to your face but donât drink, only looking down into it as if itâll tell you what to say. âAre you happy Iâm back?âÂ
âSure,â Heeseung says noncommittally.Â
You sigh, sinking into your seat a little. âI loved you. I still love you,â you mumble. âEven after all that.âÂ
Heâs not sure what to make of this, of anything youâre saying. Itâs not like you had a messy breakup or anything. At least, he wouldnât describe his long-term girlfriend breaking up with him and asking if they could be friends after as messy. Even in heartbreak, Heeseung was a reasonable person, and any reasonable person wouldâve said no. Like he did.Â
âI still.. Youâre still the one for me.âÂ
His stomach lurches violently. âDonât say that.â He gets out of his seat quicker than he means to and leaves you at the table, tapping his foot as he waits in line by the bar to pay the bill, praying heâs right about the two of you sitting at table ten when the cashier asks. With a folded receipt in his pocket and too much to think about, he returns to the table, only putting on his coat and mumbling, âLetâs go.âÂ
For some reason, you donât seem to mirror his urgency, only finishing off the drink you had left in one go and sitting for a bit longer. He takes your jacket from the back of your chair and holds it open for you, helping you into it when you finally stand up. âThanks,â you giggle.
Heeseung says nothing.Â
The silence and fresh air outside are sobering as he watches an Uber driver through the app, very slowly moving from two minutes away to one before arriving. Maybe if you hadnât said what you said at the table, he might have warmed to the idea of a forty-minute walk alone with you, but you did say those things and even the thought of this fifteen-minute car ride is unbearable when John (4.9 stars) pulls up on the curb outside. You thank Heeseung quietly when he opens the door for you, and against his better judgement, he walks over to the other side of the car and sits in the middle seat like he used to.Â
Slow R&B murmurs through the speakers as the driver pulls off while Heeseung hums along. His thigh is pressed against yours but he does his best not to think about it, only chewing his lip when you rest your head on his shoulder. He lets his head rest on top of yours before regretting it.
He doesnât move.Â
It feels a little bit like the driver is playing Heeseungâs playlist, as every song he knows and loves seems to come on one after the other, steeping him in an odd comfort in the backseat of this car.
Your hand falls onto his knee so clumsily heâs sure itâs a mistake, so sure youâll move it back into your lap that heâs genuinely surprised when you donât. Unsure what to do, he chooses not to acknowledge it, acting like you sitting so close to him, like the feeling that no time has passed, doesnât make his heart clench. Slowly but surely, your hand inches up his thighâa motion Heeseung stops as soon as he realises, his hand falling heavily over yours and pushing it back to his knee. He thinks about keeping it there, but when he feels his thumb stroking your skin, he moves his hand immediately. Youâve obviously gotten the wrong idea. For a moment, he wonders if youâve actually gotten the right idea. You have. But it canât happen like this. After a few minutes, you move your hand again, and like before, Heeseung pushes it back, keeping his hand over yours and reminding himself not to move his thumb.
Youâre drunk. This will pass.Â
Finally, the driver parks outside your building, and Heeseungâs sure his âthank you so muchâ holds the worldâs sincerity in it as he unbuckles his seatbelt and practically leaps out of the car. He opens your door and has to undo your belt for you, helping you out and thanking the driver again.Â
Thereâs a couple leaving the building when the two of you reach the door, and with your arms wrapped around his, he thanks them when they hold it open.
The lift takes forever to come and Heeseung pushes the up button five times before it arrives. He lets the girl in fleecy pyjamas with a takeout bag in her hand go in first before following, pressing the button reading 7 before relaxing a bit. Under the protection of a stranger, he knows you wonât do anything. The journey to your floor feels like hours as the lift drags its way up the shaftâwhy does nothing share his urgency?Â
You donât say anything until the elevator door swooshes shut behind you. âI love you, Heeseung. You know I love you.â Youâre saying everything heâs been wanting you to say for ages, but the words make his words sting.Â
âDo you know where your keys are?â he asks, though you still have a ways to go before you reach your door.Â
âMy pocket,â you mumble.Â
Heeseung finds your keys, unlocks the door and helps you in. As much as he wants to leave, he knows if he does, you wonât take your makeup off or change, so he holds your hair back for you as you brush your teeth and wash your face in the sink quietly.Â
In your bedroom, you search through your drawers, pulling out something to wear. He turns his back to you and ends up face-to-face with an old photo of the two of you from school.Â
âYou can look, Hee.â
Drawn to the picture, he doesnât reply. The boys are in it too, but it feels like you two are the focus. Everyoneâs smiling at the camera except Heeseung, who â with his arm around you â stares at the side of your face with a lopsided smile. Happiness radiates from his being, lighting his eyes and face.
âI want you to look.â The softness and desperation in your voice tug his heart.
âCome on baââ Heeseung sighs. âJust get dressed, yeah?âÂ
You donât say anything but he can hear the rustle of your clothes as you change.Â
Jealousy blooms in his chest, looking at himself three years ago. Happy and full of love for you and your friends, for life. Everything was so easy then. His chest tightens and he has to close his eyes.
Heeseung feels you next to him, hears your jewellery falling into the clay holder on your dresser and opens his eyes, looking at you. Youâre in a t-shirt heâs sure belongs to Jake and struggling with the clasp on your necklace. He knows you want him to help but he feels like he canât move.
âI know you donât want to hear it, but I really do want to be with you,â you say when you finally get the necklace off. âAnd I know Iâm too late, but I didnât break up with you because I didnât want to be with you.âÂ
Youâre so close the peppermint on your breath hits him like a wave. A distinct smell of citrus and summer, of Jake, comes from your body, mixed up with the scent of you in a way that makes him uneasy.Â
He gets a headache trying to make sense of your words, if it wasnât that you didnât want to be with him, then what was it? Even back then, you didnât elaborate, you just repeated his name and the words: itâs not your fault, over and over until they sounded made up. Heeseung canât entertain this conversation, not now. Not when youâre drunk and looking up at him with longing in your eyes. âI think we need to get you to bed,â Heeseung mumbles, taking a step back. âIâll get you some water.â
âBut Iâm here now and we can be together again.â
âYou moving was never the problem. You know that wasnât the problem.â A tear slips down your cheek and he softens immediately. âI wanted to go with you, I was going to go with you.âÂ
You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, frowning. âThis university was your dream. How could I let you give up your scholarship for me?â
âYou were my dream,â he admits. âAnd it wasnât your decision to make.âÂ
âYou would have made the wrong one.âÂ
Heeseung scoffs. âDo you think breaking up was the right one?âÂ
Your silence is brutally telling. You squeeze your eyes shut as if trying to magic yourself out of the conversation, but it only makes more tears fall. A realisation hits him like a truck: youâre thinking about it. A painful lump forms in his throat. How could you have anything to think about? How was breaking up with him, not the single worst decision youâve ever made? He canât believe you could have let go so easily if you loved him. Long distance wouldnât have been easy, but surely if you loved him, you would have made it work. You would have tried. Heeseung wishes he hadnât asked at all.
âI do,â you say finally, opening your eyes to look at him.
His heart is heavy in his chest. âOkay.â
âHeeseung.â
âWhat?âÂ
A stomach-churning sob falls out of you. âI donât know.âÂ
Another silence weighs the room down and Heeseung knows what he needs to do. He sighs. âLetâs just.. I should go.âÂ
You donât put up a fight, you donât say anything, only letting your shoulders droop before you sigh and lead Heeseung to the front door. He says goodbye as he puts his shoes on and all you do is watch as he leaves your apartment. He waits for you to close the door and lock it before walking away.
Heeseung walks all the way home and only cries when he closes his door, sliding down the back of it like something from a movie. With tears in his eyes, and his knees to his chest, he pulls out his phone to text you. I hope your hangover isnât too bad, he types. Letâs only talk when we need to.
The two of you manage to hold this up, with you finding others to sit with during classes, and no one seeming to question Heeseungâs skipping plans or new close friendship with Markâs group who he spends time with between classes instead. But as always, things have a funny way of going different to how Heeseung expected them to.Â
After three weeks of near radio silence, Jay barges into his room with his face scrunched up. âWhat are you doing?âÂ
âRight now?â Heeseung asks, confused. Standing by the bed with the corner of his duvet in his hand, in nothing but his underwear, he thinks his plans look a little obvious. âIâm about to jerk off.â
Jay rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âEvidently, I do not.âÂ
âWhy donât you hang out with us anymore?â he asks, squinting at Heeseung.Â
âWeâre hanging out right now.â
âForgive me if I donât count an impromptu circle jerk as hanging out.â
âI donât.. want to do that.â
Jay clutches his chest. âIâm crushed.âÂ
Heeseung studies his expression. Serious, an inch of concern pooling in his eyes. âWe dated for six years, she dumped me, I turned into a shell of myself, but she moved back home and weâre all friends again, so I think things are looking up for me.â
A deep sigh leaves Jay as he sits on the bed. âWhat happened at the bar with YN three weeks ago when we all left?âÂ
âNothing out of the ordinary.â
âWhat exactly counts as ordinary for you two?â
Heeseungâs still trying to figure that out. He shrugs. âMaking the right decisions.âÂ
âSo youâre okay?â
âNever better.â
âYou donât have to lie to me, you know?â Thereâs a sincere look on Jayâs face as he leans back on his hands.
âWhich is why Iâm being honest.âÂ
It doesnât seem like Jayâs going to let this go, but to Heeseungâs surprise, he smiles. âPerfect,â he says, standing up from the bed and walking over to the mirror where he checks himself out. âBecause she and the guys are going to be here in ten. Put some clothes on.â
He does just that, pulling some shorts over his hips and a shirt over his head before pulling the two bean bag chairs stacked next to the couch to sit in front of the TV, claiming one of them with his body by sinking into it. The cosy material is soft against his thighs and he wonders why they donât use them more.Â
Ten minutes go by like seconds when Jay gets up to answer the door, laughing at something one of you says before leading you all into the living room. Heâs watching some show Jay left on, greeting you and the boys with a wave before turning back to the TV. Behind him, the four of you laugh and talk on the couch but Heeesungâs too wrapped up in an argument on screen to join in. His attention only falters when he reaches for the open six-pack on the coffee table. Itâs barely out of his reach, so he turns around to take a beer, trying to ignore the way his heart sinks in his chest seeing you and Jay cuddled up together. Itâs friendly, he knows that. Jayâs with Yunjin and youâre.. Heâs still not sure, but it hurts nonetheless. Youâre bickering over a bowl of popcorn and he only laughs when you throw a handful at him.Â
The red speaker Sunghoonâs holding chimes three times when he turns it on, a Frank Ocean thudding out of it that drowns out the show heâs watching, leaving him to follow along with the subtitles instead. But he canât focus.Â
Heeseung tries to settle his heartache, comforting himself with the thought of the two of you in another reality. One where itâs him instead of Jay. Or one where you come over and sit with him, curling up in his lap, pouting because Jayâs being mean. He pictures himself stroking your hair and kissing away your pout, holding you into his chest when Jake and Sunghoon start teasing you. In this reality, however, he watches you peel Jayâs shirt from his chest and dump a handful of popcorn in the gap, cackling to yourself at the clear frustration he doesnât verbalise. Heeseung sighs, looking back at the TV and taking a sad sip of his sad beer.Â
After a while, you fall into the beanbag next to him, sprawling out over the whole thing and looking at him. âHey, Heeseung.âÂ
âHello.âÂ
âIâm sorry about that night.â Your voice is quiet, clearly apologetic if the way you donât meet his eyes is anything to go by.
âOkay.â Heeseung nods and a beat passes. âI meant what I said, what I texted you.â It hurts to say but itâs for the best. He stands up out of the beanbag, making a show of stretching his arms and legs before sinking into the couch next to Jake. Over Jakeâs slouched form, Jay shoots him a look, arching a brow. Heeseung only stages a chuckle, shrugging before looking at the TV again. He canât make sense of anything on the screen.Â
Sunghoon emerges from Jayâs room with a grin on his face, asking when youâre going to eat. In standard fashion, the four of you stand around Jay in the kitchen, bothering him by telling him what to do like heâs a child as he puts frozen pizza and some garlic bread in the oven.Â
âThe middle oneâs the timer,â Jake says, pointing at the knobs above the oven door. âItâs there so you can set how long the food needs to cook for, and after you set it, itâll go off so you know itâs ready.â
âBut itâs all up to you and your discretion. You can open the door whenever you want to check on everything,â you coo, patting his shoulder.
If Jayâs actually annoyed, nothing about his smile gives it away as he nods with a clenched fist, closing the door and sitting next to Heeseung on the countertop. Heeseungâs almost too busy focusing on the way his beer heats his stomach to notice the way you watch him with a small frown from barely an armâs length away. Sunghoon picks up on your declining mood and thrusts an open bottle into your hand. âWe like to drink withââ Heâs cut off by Jay taking the bottle and setting it behind you on the counter, mumbling cut it out, dude, and tugging you out of the kitchen by the arm when he notices the tears in your eyes.Â
He hears Jayâs door close and nobody says anything until the timer goes off and Jay comes back alone, filling a plate with food and going back to his room.Â
âThanks for dinner,â Jake says to the back of Jayâs head, offbeat and half smiling as he washes his hands in the sink.Â
Sitting at the table, he watches Jake and Sunghoon eat while pretending nothingâs wrong.Â
At the end of the night, when everyoneâs gone home, Heeseung gets into bed, barely managing to pull the duvet up when thereâs a knock at his door. âYeah?â he calls out. Jay appears with his arms crossed over his chest. âI donât want to talk about it,â he says quickly.Â
Jay regards him with a frown. âI didnât even say anything.âÂ
âYou were going to.âÂ
âYeah.â He nods, and Heeseung prepares himself for a lecture. âI was going to say, Iâm going home next week, for Christmas, so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.âÂ
The holidays go by in a soju and tteokguk-filled blur, with Heeseung choosing to stay at home until the day of his first class of the second semester so he doesnât have to be around you. He tells himself itâs for the good of your friend group, as he watches you all make plans in the group chat through notification bubbles, so he doesnât leave a read receipt.Â
The commute is more jarring than he realised. What had been a twenty-minute drive turns into an hour-long journey, including a thirty-minute walk to the train station ânearâ house, fifteen minutes on the train into the city centre, and another fifteen minutes on foot to campus. Heâs drenched in sweat despite the below-zero temperature and has to make a stop to the bathroom to sort himself out.
He arrives early at least, finding the room where his Ethnography: Theory and Practice 2 class is set to start in fifteen minutes. The only indicator that heâs in the right place is the lecturerâs name and contact information written in the top corner of a whiteboard, and Heeseung picks the seat furthest from the door. Itâs an elective class and, judging by the nine empty chairs next to him, not a very popular one. Heâs relieved at least that heâll be able to start off the semester without running into anyone he knows, least of all you. As seats start filling up and the lecturer arrives, heâs feeling unusually lucky.Â
So, of course, you show up, running a hand through your hair as you walk through the open door, apologising for being late even though there are still two minutes until the class is scheduled to begin. Of course, the only empty seat is the one next to him, which you sit in without looking at him, making an effort to angle your body away from him. Of course, the lecturer assigns a presentation for two weeks time, pairing the class with the person theyâre sitting beside. Neither you nor Heeseung say a word to each other, but you raise your hand when prompted to pick a topic to cover. He canât help his irritation at you for making the decision without asking him, but you look so nice in your hoodie with your hair tied up that his annoyance settles before it has a chance to bloom.Â
âYN YLN and Heeseung Lee, weâll do music and cultural expression,â you say, picking the topic he wanted to do anyway.Â
When class is over, youâre quick to get out of your seat, pulling on your jacket and stuffing your laptop back into your bag before leaving so quickly that Heeseung has to leave his stuff behind to go after you. You donât stop walking when he calls out your name, and too scared to make a scene, he overtakes you, leaving you with no option but to stop in front of him.Â
âWe should go to the library, get the research and shit out of the way ASAP,â he suggests.
You nod, crossing your arms over your chest.Â
âYeah, okay, Iâm going to get my stuff.â
You follow him back to class, watching from the door as he puts his things in his bag before putting on his jacket. You donât say anything on the walk to the library, when you get there, or when you browse the Cultural Studies section. Heeseung glances at you and youâre chewing on your lip, crouching a bit to read the spines of the books on the lower shelves. âAre you alright?â he asks with genuine concern.Â
You look up at him, nodding.Â
âAre you sure? Because you havenât said anything in an hour.â
This makes you straighten up, your brows furrowing in an expression he canât figure out. âSorry, Heeseung,â you say, your voice weak. âIâm just trying to figure out if you think I need to talk right now.âÂ
âObviously, a paired project is a situation where we need to talk.âÂ
You sigh, muttering oh, my God, before you look at him. âYou know what, Iâm going home. Letâs do this tomorrow.âÂ
âWe have class in twenty minutes.âÂ
âYeah, Iâll read the slides when I get in.â
Unsure what to say, he watches you walk away, deciding that he should just go home too.Â
At the flat he hasnât seen in five weeks, Heeseung feels slightly out of place, going straight to his room and into bed, not even getting up when he hears Jay coming home. Jay opens the door without knocking, his mouth falling into an excited âoâ shape. âHey, stranger,â he says. âI thought you werenât coming back, so I started advertising your room on Gumtree.âÂ
âAny offers?â
âNo one as good as you.â Heeseung doesnât have to look at Jay to know heâs smiling. âMove over,â he mumbles, lifting the duvet.Â
Lazily, he rolls over in bed, making room for Jay who makes himself comfortable under the covers.Â
âWhat are you doing, Heeseung?âÂ
âTrying to sleep.âÂ
âTalk to me, help me understand.â Jay sighs and Heeseungâs lips curl into a frown. âYouâre my best friend,â Jay says quietly, with a tenderness that strikes him.Â
âYouâre my best friend,â Heeseung repeats like an affirmation.Â
âSo why wonât you talk to me?â
Thereâs a subtle hurt in Jayâs voice that upsets Heeseung, who shifts around to lie on his back. âI donât think thereâs anything I can tell you that YN hasnât already.âÂ
âShe only told me that she fucked up.â
Hearing it from someone elseâs mouth makes it sound drastic, especially considering heâs the one who left. Again. But heâs too bitter to say that out loud so he bites his tongue. âSeems to be the theme in our relationship.â The words taste rotten when he says them.
âJust because youâre my best friend doesnât mean you get to be a dick,â Jay says. âWhat happened?âÂ
It takes some time but Heeseung explains everything, letting Jay ask questions and make comments until the end when he looks away, pressing his eyes shut and saying, âOh.âÂ
âOh?â
âI donât think I get it. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Why canât you just be together already?â
Everything sounds painfully simple when itâs put like that. But thereâs too much between you both for it to go that way. Itâs not like he didnât want to be with you when you confessed, itâs that he didnât know how he could without knowing why you left him in the first place. Without knowing what he did that was so terrible you couldnât stand to be in a relationship with him, never mind the same area code.Â
A beat passes before Heeseung speaks. âThere was something wrong, and instead of trying to fix it, she just.. gave up. I wouldâve done anything she asked me to. I couldâve changed, couldâve fixed things, but she didnât even tell me.âÂ
âMaybe she didnât feel like she could. I donât think she wanted to hurt you, Heeseung.âÂ
âBut she did.âÂ
âYeah,â Jay admits, sympathy lacing the word.Â
âHow can I be with her knowing thereâs some awful part of me she hates?âÂ
âItâs not like that, not really.âÂ
âWhatâs it like then?â
âIâm not sure itâs my place to say.âÂ
Heeseung laughs, shaking his head. âDo you keep my secrets as dutifully as you keep hers?âÂ
âAre you kidding? She doesnât even know you have secrets.â Jay sounds exhausted as he speaks, and itâs the last sound to come from him until a few minutes pass and Heeseung hears him snoring.Â
You didnât reply when Heeseung texted you asking to meet in the library before class, but you show up anyway, pulling out the seat across from him and dumping your bag on the table. âI donât know if you saw the email, but the partner work is just for the presentation.âÂ
âCool.â he nods, relieved.Â
âI think after that, Iâll start hanging out with Yunjin instead, so youâre not uncomfortable.âÂ
Heeseung frowns, shaking his head. âIâm not uncomfortable around you,â he says. âI just donât.. get you. You dump me and move as far away as you can. Now youâre back and what? You love me again?âÂ
You furrow your brows, inspecting him for a moment before you speak. âI donât love you again, Heeseung. Iâve loved you this whole time.âÂ
âSo why didnât you choose me? I just wanted you to choose me.â Heâs too anxious to know the truth to worry about how desperate he must sound. Until he notices that the guys sitting at the other end of the tables are watching him, their brows arched sharply in a mixture of shock and curiosity. Heeseung runs a hand over his face, hoping the motion might wipe away the flush burning his cheeks.
âYou wanted me to choose you over my future?âÂ
âI couldâve been your future, part of it. Iâd never ask you to choose me over university, you know I wouldnât. Iâm saying you couldâve had both.âÂ
âIt wasnât as easy as that.âÂ
âWhy not?âÂ
âHeeseung,â you say like itâs an answer.Â
âJust tell me why you didnât want me. Thatâs all I want to know.âÂ
The following silence makes him consider packing up abruptly and faking an emergency. Heâs sure he could probably fake his death if he slumps in his chair slowly enough.Â
You sigh heavily, interrupting his train of thoughtânow, heâs wondering if he even wants to know. âBecause you wouldâve put me first,â you say, avoiding his gaze. âIf I stayed here or moved away, I wouldâve been your top priority and I couldnât let you throw away everything you worked for, for me.âÂ
âI loved you, of course, you were my top priority.â He canât believe he even has to say it, canât believe you might have thought you werenât the single most important thing in his life.Â
âHeeseung, you were sacrificing your life for me. You missed your cousinâs engagement party to help me study for a history test, you deferred your scholarship entry by a year just so we could go to college at the same time. How could I keep letting you miss out on your life?âÂ
âDeferring my entry wasnât just for you,â he lies. âAnd itâs not like I missed the wedding.âÂ
âBut I think you wouldâve if I stubbed my toe.â
âWould that be such a bad thing?âÂ
You sigh again, shaking your head. âDo you hear yourself? You canât keep living like that, you canât just throw everything away. Youâre such a hard worker, Heeseung, and Iâd hate to see you waste that over some girl.âÂ
âBut youâre you. You werenât just âsome girlâ you were my girl.â He doesnât mean to say it but itâs true. âWe were in high school and I was studying constantly; it didnât matter back then. And you were so far away, itâs not like I could feasibly drop everything and go to you every time something happened.âÂ
âHeeseung.âÂ
âYou had a choice.âÂ
âHeeseung.âÂ
The way youâre saying his name reminds him of your breakupâthe pink walls of your childhood bedroom and the pictures of the two of you stuck up all over them, in frames on your desk, and stickers on your light switch. How they seemed to close in around him as he put all of his energy into staying on two feet, instead of falling to the floor and begging you on hands and knees to stay with him.Â
âWhy didnât you just tell me? Iâve spent the last year and a half wondering what I did wrong, I donât understand why you didnât just tell me.â We couldâve tried, he wants to say. I could have changed and we couldâve tried.Â
âI didnât want you to lose that. I felt really lucky that you loved me like that, and I didnât want to rob someone else of it, you know. I thought maybe youâd find a balance with someone someday, but I didnât think that person would be me.âÂ
Heeseung has to put in an effort to stop his jaw from dropping. How could there ever be someone else? How could you ever think he could have someone else? Thereâs so much he wants to say, to ask, but he can tell by the way you press your lips together that youâre done with the conversation.Â
âItâs not too late.âÂ
You tilt your head at him. âWhat?âÂ
âIn your room that night, you said you were too late,â he explains. âI love you.â
âStill?âÂ
His heart shifts uncomfortably in his chest at the tone of your voice and the way your eyebrows shoot up. âAlways,â he says.Â
A smile starts to curve your lips, but it slips before it has a chance to bloom, stifled happiness that you cover with your hands, hiding your face completely. âI donât think we should talk about this here.â Your palms muffle the words but not their impact; youâre right and he knows it.Â
Itâs been a yearâthe longest of his life, and the hard part is already over. He knows now and heâll do anything he can to fix it. âRight.â Heeseung nods but youâre not looking at him. Heâs going to fix it. For now, though, he says, âWhatâs our research topic again?â Despite having had Music and Cultural Expression typed into the search bar since before you arrived.Â
With Heeseungâs work ethic and your commitment to being the best, the presentation goes quite smoothly. You make no mistakes, and Heeseung, distracted by how pretty you look in professional attire, manages to stumble through the script heâd rehearsed. The two of you even win the first place prize â satisfaction that you got a perfect score â and celebrate with coffee afterwards.Â
Between the four walls of the campus cafĂ©, you and Heeseung sip lattes that taste like temperature â still too hot to have a real flavour â and laugh with each other about something Jay said when you all hung out last night. Neither of you mentions your conversation from two weeks ago, deciding instead to fall into the patterns of your first term together: napping in his bed after class and coming up with excuses for alone time. He makes an effort to follow through with his commitments, even when you ask him to hang out, to show you that heâs different now. If youâve noticed, you havenât said anything about it, but Heeseung tells himself itâs a good thing while missing shots on the court with Mark, too hung up on you to focus on anything else. The only thing left is to figure out a way to be yours again and do everything he can to make sure he doesnât lose you.Â
Over your shoulder, through the window, the sun slips below the horizon, casting long shadows around the cafĂ©. He takes a deep breath when he looks at you, smiling down at your phone as you take a picture of your half-drunk latte and the milky swirls still peeking through your coffee. A tangible determination settles in his chest as eveningâs first stars appear in the sky, he knows one thing for sure: he has to grab the chance to be yours again with both hands, and once itâs his, he wonât let go this time.Â
The cafĂ© may be clearing out, but his heart is full of hope and for the time being, sitting with you as a friend is.. fine.Â
Youâd often imagined what it would be like if you hadnât broken up with Lee Heeseung.Â
Most of your first year was spent daydreaming about him in all of your usual hangouts. Sometimes, at drinks with your friends, you envisioned him showing up, a smile on his face as he apologised for being late. Heâd slide into the booth next to you, wrap his arm around your shoulders and kiss your cheek. Other times you imagined him showing up to surprise you, sitting on a bench in the quad and grinning when he saw you leaving. Heâd run up to you with open arms and a bouquet in his hand, wrapping you in a hug and whispering that he missed you too much to wait another day to see you. You would even fall asleep thinking about FaceTime calls that stayed on overnight or drunken texts after the club, misspelt I love yous and canât wait to see yous filling your text thread.Â
You didnât tell your new friends much about him, briefly mentioning a partner youâd watched some film with or an artist he liked if they came up, and most nights were spent begging Jay to send you Heeseungâs social media posts and tell you every detail of the day they had without you. Based on accounts from Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon, it seemed like he was getting on well, a fact that â while hurtful â pushed you to try and do the same. After a month of avoiding your flatmates, you finally managed to connect with them, going to various social events around campus and rolling your eyes any time a drunk guy complimented you.Â
This is why it took you by surprise to see him at Mark Leeâs party in the summerâsitting alone in the garden, in sweatpants and a flannel, looking at his phone with a deep frown etched over his lips. When you think about it, it feels like so long has passed since then and itâs hard to believe it wasnât even a year ago.Â
Being back in Heeseungâs life has been more challenging than you thought it would be when you filled out your transfer application. Especially in the weeks since you finished your presentation together, since you suggested the library might not have been the right place for the conversation you were having and never followed up on.Â
Now doesnât seem like the right time eitherâyouâre sitting on the floor in Jake and Sunghoonâs living room with your back against the couch, sharing a blanket with Heeseung. Jay left about an hour ago to go to Yunjinâs, leaving the four of you to your own devices. You know you canât bring it up with Jake and Sunghoon around, but youâve had plenty of opportunities to over the last month.Â
When you finished your celebratory lattes, Heeseung walked you home. The sky was a perfect inky black, and it was cold enough to see your breath, just the way he liked, so cold he offered you his jacket to wear. He didnât say anything about it, only shrugging it off and setting it gently over your shoulders, shocking you so much that you stopped walking. The scent of his cologne, dark and woody, was overwhelming as you slid your arms into the sleeves, zipping it up and after three paces without you, Heeseung turned his head with wide eyes. You could have said it then, you wanted to say it then, but you bit your tongue and thanked him instead. He smiled, gulping when you closed the gap, you should have kissed him, he was close enough, his lips just a tip-toe and tilted head away, but you hugged him instead.Â
After that, the two of you had all the time in the world together. Between your shared classes and going for meals alone. All the time youâd spend in his living room together, cosy on the couch when Jay would go to sleep. So many moments to talk, to get back together, but the words would die in your throat every time you thought them. It all seemed too cheesy or not cheesy enough, too dramatic or too casual, you couldnât strike a balance and had no idea how to even find one.Â
Last night was probably the most jarring occasion. Yunjin and Chaewon had been trying to convince you to go the club all week but you just werenât in the mood. They seemed happy enough when you suggested hosting presâbut now you think theyâd been hoping youâd be so drunk youâd just agree to go out. Yunjin brought half a litre of vodka and Chaewon brought a soup flask with enough murky cocktail in it to feed a small family. Together, the three of you drank and gossiped around the small table in your living room, with Chaewonâs phone in a glass to amplify her playlist. After taking a whiff of whatever she brought, you and Yunjin decided â for everyoneâs wellbeing â to hide her flask and take shots of vodka, finishing off the cider you had left in the fridge.Â
âPlease come out,â Yunjin begged. âIâll feel bad leaving you here, all pretty and drunk by yourself.âÂ
âIâll feel bad too!â Chaewon added, clasping her hands. âNot bad enough to stay with you, but Iâll probably have less fun.âÂ
You shook your head. âI donât even have an outfit.â The words were like music to their ears and you regretted them as soon as you said them. Both girls grabbed you by the hand, tugging you to your room and flinging open your wardrobe. Yunjin looked for a top and Chaewon for a skirt, though both of them gasped when they saw the dress you wore for Heeseungâs birthday. Chaewon pulled it from the rack, holding it out in front of her.Â
âWe wonât pay for anything if you wear this,â she squealed before she and Yunjin started chanting: Free booze! Free booze!Â
You sighed, thinking of Heeseung and shook your head again. That dress, though beautiful, hadnât been enough for him to lose all composure and skip the party in favour of fucking you into the mattress, and you didnât love the idea of guys that werenât him ogling you all night. âAnything but that dress.âÂ
Yunjin and Chaewon seemed sad, but you were able to distract them by bringing out the disaster cocktail the oldest girl brewed earlier, pouring each of them half a glass and ordering an Uber to come and take them away. You promised them youâd go out next time, locking your pinkies with theirs and closing the door behind them.Â
Alone in your room, with nothing but thoughts of Heeseung to keep you company, you called him. He answered right away. You canât remember exactly what you said but you remember the soft sigh he let out when you said it. You could practically see him tilting his head, weighing his options.Â
âIâm trying to get a paper finished, itâs due Monday,â he said finally.Â
âBut itâs Thursday.âÂ
âYeah, and I want to have my weekend free. If youâre still up when Iâm done, Iâll come over, okay?âÂ
You nodded. âOkay.âÂ
Heeseung hung up after that and you got out of bed to clean up, hoping the time would fly. It didnât, but your flat was clean again so you pretended not to mind.Â
He called you after midnight. âDo you still want me to come over?â he asked, breathless.Â
âPlease.â There was a knock on your door after you spoke and you mumbled hold on before going to check it. Warped by the peephole, you saw Heeseung standing there, holding his phone to his ear and playing with the zipper on his jacket. He hugged you when you opened the door, asking if you were okay. âPerfect,â you said, looking into his eyes.Â
His pretty face scrunched up and he pinched his nostrils shut with his fingers, turning his head. âWell, you smell like a distillery.â
Heeseung stood in the doorway of the bathroom while you brushed your teeth, grinning every time his eyes met yours in the mirror. Tell him now, you thought. You have to tell him now. Those thoughts nagged you as you gargled mouthwash, plagued you when you hugged him again and tortured you when he carried you to bed.Â
He stiffened when kissed his jaw. âYou canât do that,â he mumbled, setting you down under the duvet. âNot now.âÂ
Then when? you wanted to say. âIâm sorry,â you said.
Heeseung sighed, shaking his head. âNo, itâs just.. Itâs okay.âÂ
Neither of you spoke after that, you made room for him on the bed and he lay down next to you, let you rest your head on his chest and played with your hair until you fell asleep. He was gone when you woke up in the morning but he left a glass of water and some paracetamol on your end table, along with a note.Â
I had to go to class and you wouldnât wake up :(Â Weâll talk about everything soon, we have to. See you at Jake and Sunghoonâs later?Â
â Your Hee.Â
If you hadnât been drunk he might have been okay with the kiss, he might have looked down at you and kissed you properly. You might have talked last night, fixed thingsâyouâve never regretted drinking so much in your life.Â
Things are better tonight at least. Youâve been nursing the same can of cider since you arrived a few hours ago and Heeseungâs only had two sips of his beer, so hopefully, if you get some alone time, the two of you can finally talk. Youâre still not sure what you should say, if you should apologise for waiting so long, for leaving in the first place. It seemed like a good idea at the time, applying elsewhere. You didnât even think youâd get in but you knew youâd never forgive yourself if you didnât at least take the chance. It seemed like a sign when the acceptance letter reached your inbox before the term had finished, an unconditional offer to a high-ranking university, you couldnât pass it up. And knowing Heeseung as well as you did, you knew heâd do anything to be by your side when you needed him, you knew heâd drop everything to move with you if you let him. Youâd owe him forever. It wouldnât be fair on either of you.Â
You called Jay in tears after a month away, telling him you made a mistake, that you needed to come back and had already filled out a transfer application. He convinced you to at least stay until the end of term, to actually make friends with the girls you were living with and see how you felt. A week later, he, Jake and Sunghoon showed up on your doorstep with chocolate and booze, hoping your room was big enough for all of them to stay for the weekend, it wasnât, not really, but for three nights, the four of you slept head to toe in your bed after eating your body weights in pizza and ice cream. There was no talk of Heeseung, even though you begged them, and by the time they left, you felt much better. At the end of your first year, you quietly submitted your transfer application and shared a tearful goodbye with Yizhuo and Minjeong before finally flying back home. The boys seemed happy to have you back, even if it meant sneaking around to hang out with youâA nudge pulls you out of your thoughts, Heeseung.
âAre you okay?â he asks.Â
When you look at him, it feels like the wind has been knocked out of you. His eyes are brimmed with concern, wide and beautiful, a deep brown youâll never get sick of. His lips are curved into a soft pout, a crease running along his brow that you want to smooth out.Â
Heeseung relaxes a little when you nod, but he seems unconvinced. âYou sure?âÂ
You reach up to poke his cheek, grinning when he turns his head, trying to fight a smile. âIâm good,â you say, pressing a dimple into his cheek anyway.Â
He holds your finger in his hands, unclenching your fist and locking his fingers with yours. A wide grin stretches over your lips as you plead with your cheeks to stop burning. Jakeâs hand interrupts the moment, falling from the couch, limp and curled into a fist that smacks the back of your head. Heâs fast asleep, not stirring at all even when Heeseung laughs.Â
Unfortunately, you lose rock, paper, scissors and have to wake Jake up. He shifts a little on the couch when you shake him, whining at you to stop and scrunching up his face at you. Heeseung and Sunghoon eventually sigh, grabbing him by the arms and legs to carry him to bed.Â
Both boys return, laughing about something and Heeseung sits down next to you again while Sunghoon leans in the doorway, yawning. âYou two can have my room,â he says, cutting his eyes at you. âNo funny business though, I just changed my sheets.âÂ
You chuckle nervously and Heeseung makes a show of hiding his face in the crook of your neck, much to Sunghoonâs visible dismay. He clutches the doorframe so hard you see his knuckles paling and uses his free hand to point a stern finger in your direction. âI mean it,â is the last thing he says before leaving.Â
âSorry,â Heeseung mumbles when the door closes. âItâs just so funny teasing him.â Heâs grinning when he lifts his head and runs a shaking hand through his hair. âAnyway, you still havenât told me about your group project.â
A sigh curls out of you, dramatic and loud as you let your head fall back against the couch at the thought of it. You brought it up in passing on Monday after class and spent the rest of the week pretending it didnât exist.Â
âDamn,â he mutters. âThat bad?âÂ
You donât have many friends in your Archaeology class, but you always look forward to it â because youâre covering Ancient Egypt â and enjoy it. But this morning, you slept in, arriving late, to find your lecturer assigning groups for a project weighing 25% of your final grade. She put the groups together based on where people were sitting, which left you, standing in the doorway fighting for breath, being added to a group of boys you shared a seminar with last term. They never contributed, and rarely showed up, constantly sending messages in the class Whatsapp group to ask if anyone had the tutorial answers. The sinking feeling that your project was doomed before it began plagued you throughout the lecture and all the way to lunch with Yunjin afterwards. Even though it doesnât have anything to do with the story, you tell him in meticulous detail about your time with her that day. Thankfully, youâre sober so donât admit that you spent a lot of the meal exchanging increasingly ridiculous ideas to get him back.Â
Heeseung is just as beautiful and good at listening as always, nodding his head and uhm-ing and ah-ing at all the right parts. Until his gaze changes for a split second into something so soft and so sweet that it leaves a mark on your heart. âI was pissed about it earlier, but now Iâm here, with you, and I want you to be my boyfriend again,â you say, jaw hanging open as soon as the words come out.Â
His eyes widen, lips parting in shock. Then his brows furrow, pushing a crease into his forehead.Â
âI know what youâre going to say and Iâm sorry.â You start running damage control and pray that Jake or Sunghoon will wake up and come back. âI really didnât mean to say that, especially not now when we havenât talked about everything. But you looked at me, Heeseung. You really looked at me just now and I canât pretend I donât want to be with you. Iâm sorry, really, but itâs your fault I said that.âÂ
Mortified, you cover your face with your hands. âCan you say something now?â you ask, mumbling into the heels of your palms.Â
All he says is your name and a pit forms in your stomach. âGod, anything but that,â you groan.Â
Heeseung chuckles, which you think is a good thing. âWould it be better if I called you baby?âÂ
âIn what context?âÂ
Holding your breath, you watch as he presses his lips together, humming as he tilts his head. âTerm of endearment between a girlfriend and her boyfriend.âÂ
You lift your head, separating your fingers to see him properly through the space and the pit in your stomach dissolves into something live, butterflies fluttering in a frenzy from the look on his face. The gentle curve of his lips, the warmth in his eyes, and the slight flush on his cheeks all make your head spin.Â
âReally?â
Heeseung nods so hard his hair follows the movement. âYes, baby.âÂ
âCan we kiss now?âÂ
âMaybe if you move your hands out of the way.â
âI donât like maybe.â
âDefinitely if you move your hands out of the way,â he corrects.Â
You canât bring yourself to move, worried that the sudden motion might disrupt something, might knock you out of the moment. Heeseung laughs, so softly it sounds like an exhale, as he takes your wrists in his hands, tugging gently. With your face in full view, his eyes flit over your features for a beat before he cups your cheek in his hand, dragging his thumb over the soft skin of your lips.Â
You donât even realise heâs leaning in until his lips touch yours. Thereâs a rush of something in your chest, an intense warmth surrounding your heart. His lips are softer than ever, gentle as he kisses you like you might breakâyou think you might. Nothing is better than this, better than having Heeseungâs lips on yours after all this time. You lean into him completely, pressing your body impossibly close to his and twirling your fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck.Â
âI love you,â he whispers, barely pulling away. âI love you so much.âÂ
You canât bring yourself to reply, emotions too close to the surface, tears too close to spilling. Instead, you smile into the kiss, somehow holding him closer and hoping heâll understand. He pulls back, just enough to gaze into your eyes with a look of pure affection. He doesnât press for words, a reassuring smile tugging his lips.Â
He understands, Heeseung always understands.Â
Sunghoonâs sheets are soft against your skin when you wake up, tickling your nose with the scent of detergent and Heeseungâs shampooâfresh and light. Your hand finds its way into his hair, fingers curling around the strands as Heeseung watches you with a soft smile, eyes scanning your features, taking you in. He lets his hand rest on your cheek, thumb stroking the skin there and his eyes flick up to meet yours. You feel like a teenager, a giddy smile gracing your lips, giggles tumbling out at the tickly feeling of lovestruck butterflies rumbling in your stomach. Heeseung beams, nuzzling into the touch of your hand as his eyes flutter shut.Â
âIf weâre going to work out this timeâI want us to work out, but we need to talk,â you say after a beat.Â
Heeseungâs brows raise like he canât believe what youâre saying, his lips pushing into a pout. âWe are going to work out, of course weâre going to work out.â His voice is still raspy from sleep, a deep hoarseness thatâs too sexy for the cute way heâs chewing on his lip, doe-eyed and sweet as his eyes scan your face.
âI know, baby, I want that.â You nod, using your hand to push his hair out of his face. Itâs so long now itâs starting to cover his eyes, the soft blond strands curling into his eyelashes. âBut you have to say no to me, you know? I want you to have a life of your own, we both should.âÂ
âNo.âÂ
âNo?â You press your eyes shut, sighing. âWhat do you mean, no?âÂ
âIâm starting now.âÂ
âIâm serious, Hee, this is serious.âÂ
He pouts for a second before nodding. âIâm serious too. I can say no to you, I will say no to you.âÂ
You canât help your scepticism, raising your brow at him as you inspect his face. Thereâs nothing about his expression that suggests heâs not being serious, nothing in those huge eyes seeming insincere. But you know Heeseung, youâve been with Heeseung, and you know better than anyone, thereâs nothing he wouldnât do if it meant spending time with you, so you have to ask. âSo from now on, if I text you when youâre in class or out with friends, and I tell you I want to see you, what are you going to do?âÂ
Heeseung sighs. âIâm going to text back and say that Iâm.. busy.â His lips curl into a frown. âMy heart will be super heavy though.âÂ
âBut youâll do it? You wonât see me until youâre free?âÂ
âIâll do it, I wonât leave or anything.âÂ
âDo you promise?âÂ
âYeah, baby, I promise.â When you smile at him, Heeseung leans in to seal his promise with a kiss, his lips meeting yours softly.Â
You flinch when the door opens and Heeseung chuckles against your lips, but he doesnât stop kissing you. Over his head, you see Sunghoon standing in the doorway, hair dripping water on the floor with a towel wrapped around his hips.Â
Sunghoon sighs, loud and dramatic, his head falling back. âI specifically said no funny business,â he mutters. âQuit looking at me.â He comes into the room and lifts the duvet over your heads.Â
Under the covers, Heeseung pulls away, poking his head out and laughing. âWeâre just kissing.â
âYeah, with your shirt off. Why is your shirt off?â
âShe wanted to wearââ
Sunghoon cuts him off with a gasp, pulling the duvet back. âWait, why are you kissing?â
âI canât kiss my girlfriend?âÂ
The word makes your cheeks burn and you hide your face in Heeseungâs chest. His lips find the top of your head, kissing you as he wraps his arms around you.Â
Sunghoon groans at the sight. âI havenât missed this at all,â he says. âWho else knows?â
âJust you so far.â
You can hear Sunghoon grinning when he drops the duvet back over your heads and shuffles around the room, getting ready for skating. Heeseung calls you cute and holds you closer. âIâve missed you so much, missed this,â he mumbles into your hair. âI love you.â
Dating Heeseung again is better than anything you could have imagined, even if it has only been two weeks. Heâs everything youâve ever wanted and more, and even the simple things he does make you smile so hard your face aches. Like when he picks up snacks for you after class or sends you pictures of sweet things he wrote about you in his old diary. Chaewon and Yunjin comment that you seem happier, that youâre glowing, and you canât help the giggles that always escape and the flush that burns your cheeks when you mention your boyfriend, Heeseung.
Even under the pressure of taking on a group project by yourself, you find yourself fighting a grin in the library just thinking about him. Your class finished an hour ago and youâre doing research in the computer lab while waiting for him so you can go back home together. With a crease in your brow, you try to make sense of conflicting articles on the origin of the Great Pyramid of Giza, happy when your phone lights up with a text.Â
hee: we should go on a date tonight !!! how does the fair sound?Â
you: sounds good :DÂ
hee: â€ïž
As if sensing that plans have been made without him, Sunghoon sends a message to the group chat asking who wants to go to the Spring Fair in the city centre tonight.Â
you: hee and i are alr going :/
sunghoon: awesome i can meet u at heeâs in a few hours?
You really canât find the heart to tell Sunghoon itâs a date so you decide not to say anything, only feeling worse when Jay replies.Â
jay: sounds good :DÂ
hee: itâs a date dumbass, youâre not invited.
sunghoon: ok.. i can still go
jake: time?
With your date set and whatever else the boys are planning in the group chat, you manage to finish up your work in time for Heeseung to show up with a grin on his face as you pack up your notebook. Excitement stirs in your stomach when he locks his fingers with yours and youâve never looked forward to the sticky heat of a night in spring as much as you are right now.Â
âHow was class?â you ask, squeezing his hand.Â
Heeseung grins at you, swinging your hands between your bodies as you weave through tables to leave the library. âTurns out I focus really well when youâre not sitting with me.âÂ
âOh, really?â
âMm.â He nods, biting his lip.Â
âI can sit with other people if itâll help you focus.âÂ
âNo!â he whines, loud enough to draw side eyes from the students around you before the tips of his ears burn red and he pulls you out of the library at lightspeed.Â
When you reach his flat, Jayâs sitting on the couch grinning at something on his phone, so distracted he doesnât even realise youâve arrived until you sit down next to him. Heâs got a lot to say about his mock trial and tells you everything, all while youâre cuddled up to Heeseung, with your head on his shoulder.Â
You blink and the sunâs gone down, Jay isnât around anymore and Heeseungâs arms are around your waist, holding you close. âHey,â he says when you stir. âThe boys left already, you just looked so cute sleeping that I didnât want to wake you.âÂ
Thereâs a wet patch on his sweater where your mouth was that you try to wipe away. It doesnât budge. And a burning flush attacks your cheeks and neck when Heeseung uses his thumb to wipe some of the drool by your mouth. âSo cute.â He chuckles. âShould we get going?âÂ
You spend the whole journey to the city centre with your hand in Heeseungâs, trying to fight the butterflies in your stomach every time he smiles at you. Itâs weird. To have been with him for so long, yet still feel giddy when he looks at you. This is new though, you suppose, to live away from home and see him whenever you want. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder and you canât help the grin on your face at the thought of spending infinite nights like this, with him.Â
The Spring Fair is alive with laughter and squeals of delight that you can hear from around the corner. Winking lights spill onto the pavement in rapid succession, somehow showing the whole spectrum at once. Heeseung is bursting with excitement, running down the street with you in tow, desperately trying to keep up with his stride and regulate your breathing. His eyes are huge when you reach the gates, scanning the area for the churros heâs been talking about for the entire walk and he gasps when he sees the stall, pulling you along with him. You have to weave through the crowd, dipping and dodging tired locals and excited tourists as you call out apologies to everyone Heeseung bumps into. The first night is always packed like this, so full itâs hard to believe the fair runs for six whole weeks.Â
You share a heart-shaped churro and pose for the photos he wants to take, your heart swelling with affection as you pretend to be embarrassed when he buys matching character headbands for you both. Two years ago, Heeseung wouldâve told you that headbands arenât a good use of your money and bought them anyway, but today, he spent fifteen minutes trying on and taking photos with each character before finding the perfect pair. You canât help but grin as he puts the headband on for you, a sense of excitement blooming inside you, so great itâs overwhelming.
Heeseung buys a blue raspberry slushy in an obnoxiously large reusable cup with two straws, and as he clutches his head with each brain freeze, chuckles pour out of you, only increasing when he pouts.Â
At every opportunity, the two of you take selfies, and the grin on his face in each one warms your heart. He posts his favourite to his story, showing you all the compliments heâs getting in his DMs, all aimed at you. He seems so proud and excited to be with you, and butterflies go mad in your stomach as he reads some of them out to you, agreeing with and adding to the messages.
âYouâre so beautiful, baby. I think I might delete the picture,â he says, frowning as the story replies pour in.Â
The look on his face makes you laugh, struggling to talk but trying anyway. âBut I love it.âÂ
Heeseung puts his phone away, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. âI love you,â he says, using his free hand to tip your chin towards him. He grins when you say it back, tracing his thumb along your jaw. An odd stillness hits you, in the midst of vibrant chaos. Flashes of multi-coloured LEDs dance in orange and purple strobes over his face and your breath hitches in your throat. His eyes are pretty and wide, flicking from your eyes to your mouth a few times as a flame starts to burn in your stomach, low and scorching.Â
âI love you,â you repeat, tip-toeing to close the gap.Â
You kiss him, slow and sweet to savour the sugary taste on his lips as they move against yours. His tongue slips into your mouth, deepening the kiss and the taste of syrupy artificial fruit, leaving you craving more, craving him. A pop goes out in the air and you flinch in Heeseungâs arms. He chuckles against your lips before he pulls away, looking up. Trails of pink and gold paint the sky above, vibrant sparks spreading everywhere as a few more go off. If you werenât so busy trying to catch your breath, you might appreciate their beauty, but you are and the next pop only startles you too.Â
Heeseung looks down at you, his slightly swollen lips curving into a grin. âHow are you so cute?â he coos. âAnd donât most people want fireworks to go off when they kiss someone?âÂ
âItâs probably a sensation thing, Heeseung.â You know itâs a sensation thing. The first time he kissed you, it felt like you were floating on air, as if Sunghoonâs basement, cold and dark, was the most romantic place on Earth. You were sweaty and nervous, sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Heeseung while the boys were sleeping. He was the one to lean in and he kissed the tip of your nose by accident.
âYeah, yeah,â he mutters. âCome here.â His voice is so deep and raspy that it spurs the flame on, burning higher, hotter, until itâs the only thing you can think about. His hand finds your jaw again, pulling you towards him to kiss you. Of course, you canât resist; heâs Heeseung.Â
The kiss is rife with neediness, whether from you or Heeseung you canât tell, but youâre tugging at his hair and heâs clutching at your t-shirt, both of you struggling to get enough of the other. You nip at his bottom lip with your teeth and a heady sigh falls from his mouth into yours, brewing a storm in your mind, a thick fog obscuring everything but thoughts of him.
At the sound of a forced throat clearing, you break away from Heeseung, seeing an elderly lady with a steaming cup in her hand and a disgruntled look on her face. She extends an arm, gesturing behind you. When you follow the direction of her hand, you see a bench that youâre standing right in front of. Heeseung grabs your hand, mumbling an apology and tugging you as far away as possible. You struggle to stifle a laugh at the redness of his ears against his hair.Â
A huge ride swings and spins into the air, catching your attention, though Heeseung seems to be more interested in the way Jake stands by the entrance with a scowl on his face. Jake waves you over when he sees you, grinning and hugging you both like itâs been years since he saw you.Â
âJay and Hoon are..â he trails off, using his arm to vaguely gesture towards the sky.Â
âMan,â Heeseung whispers, pointing a reverent finger to the sky, âR.I.P.âÂ
Countless fireworks shoot up noisily, painting the dark sky, and Heeseungâs arms fall heavily around your shoulders, his body warm against your back. If not for the way Jakeâs flinching next to you, covering his ears with his hands and ducking slightly at the bang of each one, it might feel like the two of you are alone in the moment. Alone despite the chatter, the laughter and squeals. Just you and Heeseung.Â
And Jake.Â
Heeseung is amazing at fair games, especially the ring toss. But a tired-looking man in a business suit wins the Hello Kitty plush youâd been eyeing for the snotty toddler wrapped around his leg, so you settle for the Kuromi plush instead. Heeseung says itâs cuter. You agree.Â
His voice is soft when he asks, âMaybe we can go on the Ferris wheel later?â This is a far cry from the boy of sixteen who fainted at an amusement park just from seeing the drop on the biggest ride there. When you look up at him, his eyes are wide, boring into you, holding the stars in his pupils with a grin across his blue-stained lips, and how could you say no to that face?Â
The platform by the Ferris wheel is sticky under your shoes, making you cringe with every step you take towards the front of the line. Heeseungâs grip on your hand is tighter than you think itâs ever been when he realises that youâre next to get on. This might be the most scared youâve ever seen him, your poor boyfriend with his overpriced Kuromi headband shivering beside you.Â
You frown at the sight, reaching up to kiss his cheek. âWe donât have to do this, Hee,â you say.
He tries to play it cool, shrugging with a nonchalance that doesnât match the fear in his eyes. âI want to,â he assures, though his voice lacks conviction.Â
âAre you sure?â The way he flinches when the ride operator opens the gate gives you his answer, but Heeseung is firm in his words as he pulls you towards the cart, despite wincing when the operator locks you in. âBaby,â you whisper, touching his cheek. âItâs not too late to get out.âÂ
In what appears to be a display of his bravery, he makes a show of rocking the carriage â only to be told off by the operator (who canât be older than sixteen) â and cheering (with no conviction) about nothing in particular. You canât help but laugh, the cart shaking slightly as you let your head fall back and you only laugh harder when Heeseung gasps because of it.Â
He flinches again when the ride starts moving, an unsettling creak sending you forward just enough to allow the next victims â according to Heeseung â to get on the ride. When the last of them board, the wheel sets off in a slow spin and he spends the entire first rotation with his eyes clamped shut, only opening them after a while when he thinks the ride is over.Â
The wheel creaks more than what you think is necessary and he only grows more and more outwardly uncomfortable, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and gripping the safety bar above your laps until his knuckles turn white.Â
âWould it make you feel better if I held your hand?â you coo, holding your left hand out to him.Â
He rolls his eyes but takes your hand in his, holding it between his palms. Seemingly at ease, Heeseung shifts slightly in his seat to close the tiny gap between you, pressing his knee into yours.Â
Even in the distance, the fairâs LED lights are beautiful, melting away into flashing bokeh before your eyes as the carriage inches higher and higher. You almost forget your company, leaning over the edge to get a better look, only for Heeseung to put his arm on your arm, mumbling, âStop it.âÂ
His skin is warm despite the slight chill that comes with your increasing altitude, and you wish the carriage was smallerâcramped even, forcing the two of you together so tightly that you have no choice but to become one. You sit in the quiet of the night, excitement on the fairground growing quieter as the wheel spins, agonisingly slow, until eventually itâs just the two of youâyou and Heeseung: the only people in the moment.Â
The only people in the world.
âWhy are we even on this thing?â you whisper, squeezing his hand.Â
Heeseung shrugs his shoulders as gently as he can manage so as not to rock the carriage. His eyes are big when he looks at you, holding your gaze intently. âI wanted to be romantic.âÂ
Oh, Heeseung, you think, pressing your lips into a frown. Heâs the sweetest person in the world and just the thought of it makes your stomach flutter. âYouâre plenty romantic,â you say sincerely.Â
He scoffs. âYeah, because pretending you didnât exist for a year is romantic.âÂ
âYes! Very!â You chuckle, nodding your head.Â
Again, he rolls his eyes at you but he uses his hand to hold your face, pulling you in. His kiss tastes like candy floss and the blue raspberry slushy you shared earlier, lips soft, relaxed against your own. Your hand reaches for his thigh, meeting instead with the squished plushy between your bodies and you canât help but laugh.Â
With your presentation out of the way, you and the guys are all sitting in Heeseung and Jayâs living room for the first night of Spring break. Youâve just about reached your limit, cuddling into Heeseungâs side with your eyes closed, sleepily listening to the conversation. Itâs unintelligible, more laughter and wheezes than anything else.Â
You shift your way into Heeseungâs lap after a while, moving around to get comfortable. It only takes two movements for him to grab you by the waist, holding you still. You try again, and his lips catch the shell of your ear. âRelax, baby. Whatâs up?â
âNothing,â you admit, moving around again until he sighs, relieved, you think. A wicked grin spreads over your lips when you feel him getting hard, grinding down on him a little and liking the warmth that spreads in your stomach from having him pressed against you.Â
âStop it,â he whispers, kissing the spot behind your ear.Â
You heed the warning but canât help the thoughts filling your mind, though you try to ignore them, laughing at something Sunghoon said about Jakeâs ugly hat and shoes. Jake doesnât find it as funny as the rest of you seem to.
Another hour passes by in the same way before the boys stumble into Jayâs room, calling out a slurred goodnight to you and Heeseung on the couch. You stand up first, holding out a hand for him to take and giggling when he presses a kiss to the back of it.Â
In his room, he stares at a spot on the wall as you close the door, a contemplative look on his face. âAre you okay?â you ask, but he doesnât look at you, only nodding his head with a crease along his brow.Â
You kiss him, a featherlight touch of your lips against his. Itâs soft for a while, sweet and sincere until he clutches your shirt like his life depends on it. Heeseungâs hands are all over you, stroking and squeezing every part of you he can reach. Overwhelming heat burns your skin under his touch. He inhales sharply through his nose when you reach for his waistband, tugging the drawstring free but he grabs your wrist, stopping you. He keeps kissing you, keeps trying and frowns when you pull away.Â
âYou donât want this?âÂ
He tilts his head, looking down at you with concern flooding his wide eyes. âDo you think weâre going too fast?â His voice is quiet and he chews on his lip after speaking.Â
âWeâve been together for six years.âÂ
âA month,â he corrects, looking at his feet.
As badly as you want him, you donât want him doing anything heâs not ready for, so you wiggle your arm free from his grip, dropping it at your side. He lifts his head to look at you, brows knitted together, the sweetest thing youâve ever seen. âI donât want to rush you.â
âItâs not that.â He shakes his head with wide eyes. âI just donât want us doing anything youâll regret.â
âIâm not going to regret this, I donât regret anything weâve done, Heeseung,â you say, holding his face in your hands.Â
He closes his eyes, nodding.Â
âDo you want to stop?âÂ
âNever,â he whispers and the word has you falling to your knees.Â
Itâs hard to see his exact expression in only the dim glow of the streetlights outside, but you can clearly see the way heâs watching you. The way his eyes are lidded as he chews on his bottom lip, watching you reach for the buckle on his belt. Heeseung threads his fingers through your hair, groaning, and for a few seconds, youâre hypnotised. Too wrapped up in tipsiness and lust to move your fingers, completely focused on the way his breath starts to pick up before youâve even done anything. Youâre starting to think it might be enough for him just to see you like this, on your knees for him, wide-eyed and eager.Â
Whether on purpose or not, Heeseung tugs on your hair gently, pulling you from your trance. His blunt fingernails scratch at the back of your head as you undo his belt, tugging his jeans down. He steps out of them as soon as he can, smiling when you toss them behind you. Too worked up to wait, you push your face against him. You take a minute to hold his covered cock between your lips, shuddering at the feeling of the damp spot at the top of it. Heeseung grunts, bucking his hips. He looks like sin when you lock eyes with him, licking a strip to the top of his waistband, sucking and nipping at the skin and coarse hair there.Â
âQuit teasing,â he says, still keeping control of his voice.Â
You blink up at him sweetly, shaking your head. âIâm not,â you mumble, pulling his underwear down.Â
Heeseungâs dick smacks his stomach with a wet sound that makes you clench around nothing, and you sit back on your heels to admire him. Maybe itâs from time, or your unbearable desire, but he looks bigger, thicker, and much prettier than you remember. When you finally drag your eyes from his dick, you notice a mark on his hip, right above where his thigh starts. Itâs a smudge of something dark, inky almost. You furrow your brows, licking the pad of your thumb to try and get rid of it. He practically flinches when you touch it, moving away from you. The increased distance between you and the low lighting only further obscures itâwhen you rub at the mark it doesnât budge.Â
âWhat is this?âÂ
âItâs nothing,â he says, sitting down on the bed and covering it with his hand.Â
If it was anyone other than Heeseung, you might have thought it was a tattoo, but you canât make sense of the thought so it slips your mind as soon as it occurs. You reach for the lamp on his bedside table, flicking it on, losing your breath at the sight of his skin glowing golden in the light, and the tip of his cock is a tempting, glossy red. You canât help but take him in your hand, stroking him slowly.Â
âTell me, baby.âÂ
âItâs a bruise,â he manages through a gasp, licking his lips.
Your thumb swipes over his slit and he crumbles. âHeeseung.âÂ
âButterfly, itâs a butterfly.âÂ
A fuzzy warmth starts to bloom in your chest, overwhelming you. âLay down,â you say, voice as soft as itâs ever been.Â
Heeseung obliges, linking his fingers with yours when you move his hand from his thigh. Under the light, you can see it clearly, dark strokes of ink forming a pretty butterfly, tiny, and heart-achingly familiar.Â
âIs it..â You trail off, moving your lips around words that you canât get out as tears sting your eyes. âDid I draw this?â Leaning over him, you get as close as you can, using your finger to trace the shape.Â
Sitting up on his elbows, he looks down at you with a worried look on his face as he nods. âDo you hate it?âÂ
âI love it.. itâs perfect.â You let go of his hand, using the back of your fingers to wipe at your eyes.Â
Heeseung sits up, letting his hand cup your cheek and looking at you. He uses his thumb to wipe some of the tears you missed before leaning down and kissing you. His lips move slowly with yours, heâs being gentle, so gentle that you hear your heart thudding in your ears.Â
âCome sit,â he mumbles against your mouth, helping you up and guiding you into his lap, a whine falling out of him when you sit on his cock and you mumble an apology that you donât mean.
âWhen did.. Why did you..â
His shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. âMy first birthday I spent without you. I just wanted to have something for you.â
Youâve seen it and youâve heard it from him, but you still canât make sense of it. âBut youâre.. youâre Heeseung. Youâd never get a tattoo, you told me that.âÂ
âIâll probably never get another tattoo, it hurt like hell,â he says, frowning.Â
âYouâre such a sweetheart.â You cradle his face in your hands, gazing into his eyes, your sweet Heeseung. So different yet so incredibly similar. âYouâre, like, obsessed with me.â
Thereâs a loud adoration in his eyes that makes your stomach turn. âHow could I not be?â His smile is wide even though his lips are smushed a little by the way youâre holding his face.Â
Heeseung tilts his chin towards you so you kiss him, the two of you passing moans and whines between your mouths as you grind on him, his hands gripping your waist under your shirt. He shudders under you, rutting his hips against yours with a groan. Heâs harder than ever underneath you, his cock hot between your thighs, pressed up against your core in the most maddening way. It canât be comfortable for him, the friction from your underwear but he seems like heâs enjoying it just as much as you, maybe more, you think, when he starts throbbing.Â
Conscious of the boys across the hall, you try your best to be quiet, though Heeseung doesnât share your concern, his lips parting too wide to keep kissing you and his head falling back as he lets a whine out into the air. His nails dig into your skin, hips speeding up more than you can keep up with as he trembles, clearly so close to the edge that you moan at the sight of him all fucked out in front of you. You chew on your lip, watching his whole face scrunch up before falling to your shoulder, his cum leaking out all over your panties and the tops of your thighs. A grin covers your lips while your pussy aches from the heat of his release and the feeling of his staggered breath hitting your skin. When he finally sits up, sweat slicks the column of his neck and chest, a nervous look in his eyes that he canât quite bring to meet yours.Â
âThis is jââ Heeseung cuts you off by covering your mouth with his palm.Â
âI remember. You donât have to say it, baby, I remember.âÂ
âYou were so cute that day,â you say when he moves his hand. Butterflies fill your stomach when you think about it, the first time you ever did anything with each other, with anyone. He was fifteen, with cute round glasses perched on the end of his nose and teeth too big for his mouth, finishing in his jeans with you in his lap.
âYou donât think Iâm cute anymore?â he asks, frowning.Â
âYouâre always cute.â
Heeseung grins at your words, so wide and sweet your heart races. He kisses you gently and slips his hand into your underwear, his finger trailing the length of your pussy slowly, groaning into your mouth at how wet you are. You whine into the kiss when he strokes your clit and gasp when he pushes a finger into you easily. Gradually, he adds more fingers, fucking you open on his knuckles and watching as you fall apart.
His lips move from yours, falling to your neck so he can kiss and suck the sensitive skin there. âYou feel so good, baby. My sweet girl,â he mumbles, breath searing your skin. The words make you clench, your stomach fluttering relentlessly as he uses his thumb to press on your clit, the pressure enough to make you spiral. Itâs all too much too fast and before long, youâre squirming and mewling in Heeseungâs arms, finishing all over his fingers.Â
Immediately, an excruciating flush burns every inch of your body as you hide your face in his neck to catch your breath. His arms wrap around you and he whispers sweet nothings into your hair while stroking your back.
Ever since that night in his room, all your senses feel heightened when Heeseung is around.Â
And it doesnât help that you spend every waking moment with him. Whether in his flat or yours, youâre joined at the hip and itâs near impossible not to pounce on him. In your stomach blooms a heat you havenât felt in years. An all-consuming flame that makes you hold your breath when he cuddles you; makes you look away when he strips before showering.
Heâs taken a liking to shirtlessness, only seeming to remember that the garments exist when he has to leave the houseâwhich isnât often now that classes have ended. This sudden cotton allergy plagues you, burning the image of his ever-increasing muscle definition and the tattoo on his hip into your memory, so deeply theyâre the only things you see when you close your eyes at night.Â
Even when Heeseungâs being romantic, cooking dinner for the two of you and almost burning his finger with a match while lighting a candle, youâre thinking about him fucking you. When he goes out with the boys and stumbles into your flat, drunk, with a crushed bouquet in his hands, youâre thinking about what might have happened if youâd gone out too. If heâd finger you in the back of a taxi or take you against the door when you got back.Â
Weeks go by like this until you finally reach your limit.Â
Thereâs nothing overtly sexual about the way Heeseungâs sitting. About the way his lashes kiss his cheeks when he blinks, or the way his hair sits in a sleepy mess on his forehead. But itâs Heeseung. So these things existing on him drive you crazy.Â
Given the lack of privacy in your family homes â by way of an open-door rule when visiting each other â you and Heeseung didnât have many opportunities to have sex that didnât involve being tangled around one another in the backseat of his car. And even those occasions were few and far between.Â
With the only three brain cells that seem to function around your shirtless boyfriend and your head on the doorjamb, you begin to scheme. It doesnât have to be elaborateâjust a way to get Heeseung to fuck you without you having to bring it up.Â
âWhatâs up, baby?â he asks, finally looking over at you. His voice pulls you out of your thoughts, with a raspiness to it that makes your thoughts run wild. From head to toe, his eyes drag over your body, his tongue coming out to run over his lips.Â
Clearly, a very delicate, well-timed conversation is in order and the gears in your mind scrape against each other, turning egregiously as you try to figure out how to start the conversation. âI want you to fuck me,â you blurt out. Not the most delicate approach, but the way Heeseungâs eyes widen suggests you might be on the right track. âI didnât mean to say that,â you admit sheepishly.Â
He chuckles deeply in a way you havenât heard in years. âSo you donât want me to fuck you?â Thereâs a challenge in his question, evident from his raised brow, the setting aside of his phone, and the way he sits up straight. The movement forces the duvet to slip a little, falling from above his belly button to his hips in one fell â effortlessly sexy â swoop.Â
In spite of this, you canât help but roll your eyes at him. How could you be standing there, in nothing but his t-shirt, asking him to fuck you and heâs caught up on semantics? âThatâs not what Iâm saying.âÂ
âWhat are you saying?â When you donât say anything, Heeseung lifts the duvet from his body entirely, grinning when your gaze locks on his hips. His pyjama pants are sitting low enough to show off the waistband of his underwear, and they donât do anything to hide the way his hard cock pushes against them.
Heeseung towers over you, overwhelming you and the space of the doorframe as his mouth quirks up at one corner. âYou want it, baby?â he asks, his voice soft as he cups your face in his hand, using his thumb to trace your lips.Â
His face dips down to yours and you canât resist reaching up to kiss him, whining at the contact as you move your lips in sync with his. The sounds heâs making are dizzying, deep groans you feel in your chest. His hand grips your waist, pulling you as close as possible so you can feel him, hard and thick, pressing against you.Â
You whimper when he pulls away, chasing his kiss, but Heeseung only chuckles. âSay the word and Iâm yours,â he whispers, looking down at you with those big eyes.Â
âIâm not going to beg.âÂ
He smiles sweetly, a soft curve of his lips summoning butterflies. âSuit yourself,â he says, leaning down to press a kiss to the base of your neck and leaving the room.Â
Flustered, you follow him, flinging your arms around his waist and pressing your face into his back. âOkay, Iâm going to beg.â
âIâm listening.âÂ
âI need you,â you mumble into his skin.Â
âYou have me.âÂ
Even though his words and the way his lips audibly split into a grin make your heart race, you canât help your frustration. âHeeseung,â you say, pleading with him.Â
He frees himself from your grip, turning around. When you look up at him, heâs watching you closely through lidded eyes, his lips parted in a soft pout that makes your heart melt. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding you close enough to feel him pressing against you. âIâm all yours, baby. Whatâs up?â
âWhy are you torturing me?â
This makes him smile as he shakes his head. âIâm not.âÂ
âPlease.â
He brings a hand up to your face, his thumb stroking your cheek and you canât help but nuzzle into his palm. âPlease what?âÂ
âYou know what I need and I canât go any longer without it,â you mumble into his hand. Heeseung only raises a brow and you sigh. Somehow, your want for him is greater than your embarrassment so you sigh, looking him in the eye. âIf you want to, please, please, fuck me, Heeseung. Any way you want, baby, just promise me youâll do it. I need it, need you.âÂ
A shit-eating grin takes over his face as he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. âWas that so hard?â he asks, frowning when you donât reply. âDonât get all moody, baby, talk to me.âÂ
Heeseung picks you up, holding you close as you wrap your legs around his waist. Both of his hands are spread over your ass and youâre too embarrassed to say anything, chewing your lip and staring at the little mole on his forehead.Â
âNeed me to fuck you âtil you can talk again?â Thereâs a roughness to his voice that makes your cheeks flush, but you canât help but laugh, head falling back in a fit of cackles.Â
âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
His pretty lips come together in a pout before he speaks. âI donât know.â He shrugs, the tips of his ears burning red as he carries you to his room, using his foot to close the door behind him. âIâm rusty.â
You shake your head before kissing his forehead. âYouâre perfect.â
Heeseung sets you down on the bed gently, crawling over you. âI like seeing you in my shirts,â he says, clutching the fabric in his fists, tugging a little.Â
âSomeone has to wear them.â
A breathy laugh falls from his lips. âWhat?â He tilts his head, leaning away from you to sit back on his heels. âYou donât like seeing me like this?âÂ
Itâs hard to find a balance between missing his warmth and looking at his body. Staring at the definition that marks his chest and stomach and the way his muscles stick out over his biceps, you can feel yourself leaking at the sight of him. Your eyes catch on his waistband, on the strip of hair thatâs cut off by the start of the fabric before falling to the bulge in his pants.Â
âYouâre looking at me like Iâm your next meal,â he mumbles, leaning back over you with a deep flush on his cheeks and neck.
âI think I want you to be.âÂ
âYou think?â
You nod eagerly, anticipation swirling in your stomach.Â
âAnything I can do to make you certain?â Heeseungâs voice is thick with something you think could be enough to make you finish.Â
âWhatever you want,â you say, desperate.Â
He chews on his lip, considering you for a while before kissing your cheek. Once more, he sits up, tugging at your waist. âFirst, I want this shirt out of my way,â he says with a smile.Â
Immediately, you lean off the bed to let him take it off, tossing it behind him. âAnything else?âÂ
Heeseungâs too busy staring to speak, taking you in hungrily with a jarring combination of lust and adoration behind his eyes. You thought youâd feel shy about him seeing you after so long, but youâve never felt more comfortable in your life as he reaches down to lock his fingers with yours. He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of it. âYouâre so pretty,â he says against your skin.Â
Thereâs no stopping the flutter in your stomach or the smile that spreads over your lips. You tell him you love him and he says it back as he leans back down to kiss you slowly, his tongue licking into your mouth at an agonising pace, a line of saliva connecting you to him when he pulls away.Â
âI want to get my head between your legs,â he mumbles, letting his hand dip between your spread thighs. âSo wet already?â he asks, dragging your slick up to your clit, rubbing it with a featherlight touch that leaves a whine slipping from your lips. ïżœïżœWill you let me?âÂ
You nod.Â
Heeseung smiles and you match it before he dips his head into the crook of your neck, kissing the skin there for a minute. His breath and wet mouth are hot, burning a trail down to your collarbone and chest, where he gets distracted, pulling one of your nipples between his lips.
Your stomach twists at the sight of him, his pretty, pouty lips sucking and biting at your sensitive skin, the way heâs moaning against you, using his thick fingers to tug and pinch your other breast. It takes him a while to move on but you donât complain, even when he presses tickly kisses to your stomach.Â
When he reaches your legs, he gets off the bed, kneels on the floor and hooks his arms around your thighs to pull you towards him. You feel exposed when he uses his thumbs to spread you, staring at your pussy with wide eyes, his lips parted a little until his head falls back with a groan.Â
âMissed this pussy. Been thinking about it so much, all the time. So beautiful, baby.â He manages to drag his gaze from between your legs to lock eyes with you. âYouâre so beautiful, baby.â His lips touch your thighs, kissing the soft skin there, sucking marks into it and biting softly. The sting is subtle but it makes you clench, a movement that isnât lost on him. âYouâre so needy, huh? You want me that bad?â he asks, looking up with a tilted head.Â
You mumble the word ânoâ and shake your head. âNeed you.â The words come out of their own accord, nothing more than a desperate whine that makes Heeseung press his eyes shut. You watch as he shifts on the floor, leaning in and giving you the attention you deserve.Â
Heeseungâs nose grazes your slit and you gasp at the sudden contact, flinging your head back into the pillows when he licks a strip from there to your clit, giving it a quick peck.Â
You card your fingers through his hair, gripping at the strands so hard it must hurt, but he doesnât seem to mind, going slow despite the way youâre trying to rut against his face. He kisses the spot above your clit, his tongue poking out to lick at the skin there, only hitting the bud a few times and the anticipation is enough to make you spiral.Â
Time stands still, all concept of it demolished when, finally, he wraps his lips around your swollen clit, running his tongue over it with a pressure that leaves you shaking against the sheets. Moans pour out of you like water from a faucet with nothing but pleasure and Heeseungâs sweet mouth crossing your mind.Â
It doesnât seem like heâs ever going to stop, only coming up for air for a brief moment before sticking a finger into you and attaching his mouth to your clit, burying himself in your wetness. The stretch is minimal, barely registering in the waves of pleasure crashing over you, until he adds a second finger, thick and rigid as he works you open for him. By the time his third finger enters, you have to pull him away by his hair, struggling to find the words to say and settling on a whiny cry of his name.
âHmm?â He looks up at you, face covered in slick that shines on his chin and nose, shoulders rising and falling heavily, but his fingers donât let up, curling towards your belly button torturously slow.
âWant to cum with you inside.â
Heeseungâs eyes darken and he licks his lips. âYeah?âÂ
âUh-huh, and I donât want you using a condom either, want you to fill me up.â
âAre you sure?âÂ
You nod. âIâm still on the pill and youâre the only person Iâve ever been with.â
Heeseung wastes no time standing up from the floor, watching hungrily as you sigh at the emptiness, moving up on the bed. He uses his fist to pump his cock slowly, sighing when he drags his thumb over his tip. A beat passes before he grins, boyish and handsome while crawling over you again. His face softens and his eyes burn into yours as he cups your cheek in his palm. âYou sure about this?âÂ
âIâm sure, Heeseung, youâre all I want,â you whisper, pecking his lips.Â
âMe too.âÂ
He uses his free hand to reach for his cock, rubbing his tip over your clit and chewing on his lip. He lets his cock split your folds, grinding his length against you, rubbing your cunt with a wet sound that fills the room. Heeseung straightens up and you moan when he spits into his palm, stroking himself before pressing the head of his cock to your entrance. You hold your breath, bracing for the stretch and crying out when he pushes in. His head falls forward with a sigh, his hair tickling your forehead.
âI missed you,â he groans when he bottoms out, his thumb running over your lips. A moan slips out of him when you open your mouth, running your thumb over the pad of his finger and sucking on it. âMissed these pretty lips, this pussy. Donât know how I got on without it.â His words and the feeling of him inside after so long only make you dizzy, knowing that he wanted you like you wanted him. He watches you with parted lips, rocking his hips tenderly against yours.Â
âFaster, Hee,â you whisper. âHarder.âÂ
Heeseungâs brows knit together and he slows to a pace that lets you feel single vein and inch of him as he bottoms out before pulling almost all the way out. âCan you take it?â he asks, a jarring tone to his voice that you think is a challenge.Â
You nod desperately. âPlease.âÂ
The word flips a switch for him and he speeds up, thrusting so hard, so deep that your back arches off the bed as his tip nudges your g-spot each time. Just when it all starts to feel too much, Heeseung lifts one of your legs, hitting deeper than he has before and tangling up a knot in your stomach.Â
âYouâre so good, baby, so good for me.â His eyes are dark and lidded, full of all the love in the world as he gazes into yours, a tangible love that overwhelms you, eating you alive along with his praise.
Sweltering heat stretches through every part of your body at the drag of him inside, the push and pull of his cock along your stuttering walls. Itâs enough to make you shiver and a cry of his name rips out of you when he starts rubbing your clit again, pushing the bud in slow circles that make you screw your eyes shut.Â
âThatâs it. Cum for me, baby, make a mess,â he whispers and thatâs as much as you can take.Â
Stars flash behind your closed eyes as every single part of your body sets alight, dazed by Heeseungâs whines and the feeling of being full, finally being full, until both ends of the knot tug and tug, leaving you with nothing but a hoarse moan that dies in your throat as your orgasm hits you like a truck.Â
A lewd squelch accompanies each of his thrusts as they get sloppier and sloppier, losing their rhythm and intensity. It seems like heâs right there with you though when he collapses on top of you, his head falling into the crook of your neck and his moans slipping out like music to your ears.
Itâs hard not to fall apart under him, but you try your best, dragging your nails over the toned muscles of his back while telling him you love him over and over until he finishes. Both of you are trembling, fighting for breath and whining as Heeseung sloppily fucks you full of his cum. The sound is downright pornographic, loud and wet as your cum mixes with his for the first time in so long. An inexplicable intimacy so thick it hangs in the air, perching on your shoulders as he looks into your eyes.Â
Heeseung slows down after a while, stopping completely but not pulling out yet, keeping you full and aching around him. When he catches his breath, he gives you a dreamy smile, thanking you before pressing soft kisses to every part of your face he can reach.Â
You whine when he pulls out, missing him as soon as heâs gone. Despite your sensitivity, you want to beg him to come back, to slip back into you and stay forever, though Heeseung has other plans. He sits between your legs, dragging a lazy finger up your slit and watching with a smile as cum leaks out. You squirm against the sheets, pushing your head into the pillow when he uses two fingers to push it back in.
âWish I could keep you full like this forever,â he mumbles absently, curling his fingers.Â
All you can do is sigh happily. Long minutes go by until he takes his fingers out of you, reaching behind him for his shirt to wipe you up before leaning down to your face, mumbling against your lips to come and shower with him.
Youâve never showered with Heeseung before and a voice in your head tells you to press your cheek against the tile and let him have you again, but youâre way too sleepy for that. The warmth of the water and his big hands roaming your body do nothing to help, only forcing your eyes to fall shut as you lean back against Heeseungâs chest, willing yourself to stay awake.Â
Once youâre all showered and clean, you only feel sleepier, standing on the plush bath mat in front of the steamed-up mirror. Droplets of water trickle down your skin and you canât help but revel in the warmth of the room around you. Wrapped snugly in a soft, fluffy towel, you find yourself too tired to follow Heeseung out, slathering some of the expensive moisturiser Jay keeps in the bathroom over your skin. You peer into the mirror, though you donât see much, and for a moment, itâs just you and the steady trickle of water from the showerhead. The bathroom smells like Heeseungâs minty shower gel and you miss him already, but you take your time anyway, savouring the moment and everything that came before it.Â
You find him in his room when youâre done, tucking the last corner of a fitted sheet around his mattress.Â
âYou want to nap, baby?â he asks when he sees you, holding out a clean shirt for you to wear.Â
âMm,â you hum, nodding your head and dropping the towel so he can put the shirt over your head.Â
âLet me just fix the pillowcases, yeah?âÂ
You nod, slumping into his desk chair and watching the muscles in his back shift and flex as he moves around the room, dumping the dirty bedding into his laundry basket and slipping the clean linen over his pillows. He pulls the duvet back and pats the mattress, grinning when you shake your head and make grabby hands in his direction,Â
Heeseung stretches his arms above his head and comes over to you but you stop him before he can pick you up.Â
âIâm going grocery shopping with Yunjin later and I need a pound for the trolley, do you have any?â you ask through a yawn.Â
He scratches his chin, thinking about it. âIf I do, theyâre in my wallet,â he says, reaching for it on the desk and handing it to you before taking a seat on the end of his bed.Â
When you pull on the zipper to open the coin slot, you find a shiny pound coin and a folded piece of lined paper. You leave the coin where it is and hold the paper between two fingers for him to see. âWhatâs this?âÂ
Immediately, he hides his face with his hands but you can still see the flush on his ears. Youâre not sure what reaction you were expecting, but despite your curiosity, you wonât look at it if he doesnât want you to. âSorry, baby,â you say, putting it back. âForget I asked.âÂ
Heeseung sighs, looking up at you through the gaps in his fingers. âYou can look if you want, itâs nothing bad, just mildly humiliating.âÂ
Nervous anticipation settles over your body and you canât help but laugh a little, feeling your breath catch in your throat when you unfold the crumpled and creased paper. Itâs blank. You arch a curious brow at Heeseung, who, though still slightly embarrassed, gestures for you to turn it over.Â
What meets your eyes on the other side leaves you stunned. There, inked in blue with delicate care yet bearing the natural imperfections of a hand-drawn butterfly, was a familiar image. Itâs the very same butterfly you drew in your notebook on a spring date with him four years ago. Your fingers tremble as you trace the lines, your heart racing as you remember how heâd torn it from the page, eyes full of appreciation for the simple drawing.Â
Tears well up in your eyes when it dawns on you. Itâs the very same butterfly he has tattooed on his hip, a permanent reminder of your love that endured separation and time.Â
Your voice is weak as you look up at him, quivering with emotion. âYou kept it after all these years,â you whisper.
Heeseung smiles, his eyes full of love. âI never let go of what matters to me.âÂ
© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
#heeseung smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen scenarios#heeseung scenarios#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#heeseung oneshots#heeseung imagines#enhypen hard hours#fic.heeseung
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KRNDJENSIND words cannot express how happy i am when you wrote my "loving scara in the public restroom" request LIKEâ AAAAAA THANK YOU SO SO MUCH
Yes i have came to you with ANOTHER REQUESTâ imagine reader being so busy because of assignments and scara is over here being a top 1 student who already finished all his homeworks and gets frustrated(also concerned) with you because he thinks you're so stupid to not know/understand this equation/subject and how you're not sleeping and eating that much. And whenever he offers to help you, you refuse and he gets so frustrated that he started insulting you like crazy and now you two started fighting..... One thing led to another and scara found himself pinned on the bed while getting poundedâ and and they are still insulting each other while they're at it
So they're kinda like fighting while making love..............
You can ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable... But if you do plan on taking this, THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAINđ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
Also can I be đ or đ anon? (Incase the former has already been taken...)
â đđżđŒđđœ đŠđđđ±đ..đ¶đ» đđČđ± â
characters: sub!scaramouche x gn!dom!reader
cw: modern college scara, rival-ish, handjob (giving), slight brat taming, slight humiliation, edging, begging, dacryphilia, cock/strap penetration
word count: 2.199k
notes: I may or may not have gotten overboard with this one.. Apologies for the late submission, but yes, you can be my đanon. <3
Hell week has arrived at your university which means it's time for endless study sessions in your room like every normal student would do, unless theyâre confident with their skills.
And of course, one of those students was Scaramoucheâthe one who effortlessly reaches the honor list. Seriously, how does he do it? Either way, that should be the least of your problems. You're over competing with him when it comes to academics.
However, the man doesn't seem to get the hint, always disturbing the peace in your shared dorm everytime he sees you going cross-eyed with the learning materials scattered at your work desk.
Scaramouche leans casually against the doorway, watching you silently for a moment as you pore over your notes. A smirk slowly spreads across his face before he speaks, the teasing arrogance evident in his voice.
âAre you stressing over there again?â He crosses his arms, walking closer and peering at your notes. âI could ace this in my sleep. You know, if you're going to work this hard, at least make sure it's worth it.â
His tone softens just slightly as his eyes flicker over your tired expression. âJust go to bed, you won't be able to surpass me no matter how you study anyway.â
You kept your eyes glued to your notes, not allowing the annoying presence beside you to disturb your concentration. âBold of you to assume I'm studying to âsurpassâ you,â You responded shortly after.
Scaramouche raised an eyebrowâif you weren't studying to surpass him, then why are you working your ass off for this? He wouldn't say you're on the same level of intelligence as him but it's not like you were dumb.
But that's what you two were, right? Academic rivals, or at least, that's what he thought.
âAnyway, could you leave? I need to focus here,â Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, remembering he's still in your room.
âWho are you to tell me what to do?â Scaramouche asks, crossing his arms as he looks down at you with a smirk. âLast time I checked, we share this dorm.â
âThis dorm, not this room,â You corrected, clicking your pen. âNow leave, your annoying face is distracting me.â
How rude, he's been doing nothing but ease your mind from the stress you're experiencing. Sure he just teases the hell out of you, but can't you be a little more appreciative?
âYou're an ungrateful brat, you know that?â He frowned, snatching a page of your notes from your desk. He hummed, taking a good look at what you've written, though it looked like he's just judging your handwriting.
âWho the hell needs to take notes in math? Just remember the formula and you're good to go,â Scaramouche complained. Was he just sugarcoating the question âare you stupidâ? You could almost hear those same exact words in between his statements.
âWell unfortunately, not everyone is like you,â You argued before extending your hand, gesturing for the note he's still holding, âNow give that back.â
Scaramouche hummed, his eyes flickering over to you and the paper heâs holding before his lips curled upwards again. âAnd if I say no?â He grinned, keeping the item out of your reach.
You could almost feel a vein appear on your foreheadâirritation wasn't an unfamiliar feeling when it comes to dealing with your roommate. You pushed yourself up and reached for the paper but Scaramouche was too quick to pull it away.
âScaramouche!â You called out, the frustration in your tone becoming more apparent. His grin widened, enjoying your helplessness in this situation, âToo slow.â
You make another attempt to reach for it, lunging forward with determination, and to your misfortune, Scaramouche pulls away at the last minuteâa sharp, ripping sound coming from the material, tearing down from the middle, leaving the both of you with a piece.
Scaramouche was stunned for a moment, it wasn't part of his plan to rip out your notes. His smirk falters but he composed himself, swallowing the guilt, âThat was clearly your fault. If you asked nicely, I wouldâveââ
Before he could finish his sentence, he found himself tumbling backwards onto your bed, the mattress creaking from the sudden weight. âHeyâ! What the fuck was that for?!â He retorted, supporting himself on his elbows.
You approached him on the bed, one leg sliding in between his, your knee pressing lightly on his crotch. His eyes widened slightly from the contact, but he hid it with a scowl. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â He asked in a low tone.
âYou think you can just waltz in here,â You pressed down your knee, feeling his member throb. âDisturb me while I'm studying, then ruin my notes for fun?â You added more pressure, watching his adam's apple bob as he gulped.
âYou think I did that on purpose?!â He argued, his cheeks puffing with red tint. The tensionâs getting to him and he can't say he doesnât like it, but that doesn't make it less embarrassing. âI would've given it back if you begged,â He added, grabbing your shoulders to push you away with an obvious half-hearted strength.
âBegging, huh?â A malicious smirk appeared on your lips. Your hand reaches for the waistband of his sweatpants, revealing his garment that's now outlining a bulge.
âHey! Don't you dareââ Scaramouche attempts to push your hand away, but you were quick enough to pin his wrists above his head. Now he was fully trapped beneath you, the warmth on his cheeks deepening as he scowled at you.
âCan't you be cooperative for once?â You huffed, now taking his boxers off. He wriggled his hips to make things difficult for you yet it only assisted in removing his garment. His cock springs out, arousal evident with how hard he already got.
You eyed him, watching his reaction once your hand was wrapped around his length, pumping to and fro. The indigo-haired boy bit his lip, suppressing his sounds, though soft whimpers escaped.
âThere's no need to be shy.â
âI'm not! You're just bad at giving handjoâohmmFuHKââĄâ
âYou talk too much,â You grumbled and picked up the pace. A bead of precum instantly leaked out from the head of his cock, allowing your hand to slide easily on his shaft.
Scaramouche gritted his teeth, unable to protest any longer in fear of moaning accidentally as soon as he opens his mouth. With how vulnerable he felt in this compromising position, he felt himself getting closer to edge, quicker than he usually does.
âShitâ hah.. âm gonna..âĄâ He murmured, closing his eyes as he accepted the inevitable defeatâuntil your hand stopped, forcing his climax to go back down.
His eyes shot open, not expecting for you to deny him release. âWhyâd you stop??â Scaramouche asked frustratedly, his hips bucking to your palm to create friction.
You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, âYou didn't expect to cum so easily, did you?â you teased. A baffled expression appears on the indigo haired manâs face, his eyebrows furrowing down.
âHm, maybe if you begged,â You cooed, using his previous words against him as you start stroking his cock once more, âI might just consider it.â
His eyes widened a little more, begging? You must be out of your mind if you think you'll get the Scaramouche to beg, much less for a release.
But things aren't working out to his favor. Your hand around the length, the relentless pace returning as his hips snapped from the sensation. Scaramouche could no longer argue; the pressure mounting inside him was too much, threatening to explode once again.
âToo fastâ nghâ gonna..! âĄâ he whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as his body tensed, unable to hold back the impending release. Just as he felt himself teetering on the edge, your hand abruptly stopped again, âDidn't I say you should beg?â
His eyes fluttered open, a mixture of frustration and desperation on his face. âI never agreed to do that,â He huffed, wiggling his wrists out of your grip.
Seems like a simple handjob won't do the trick. Deciding to take it up a notch, you pulled your own pants down. The blush on Scaramouche's face tripled, âWhat are you planning?â He asked in a sharp tone though he can't deny how his cock throbbed at the sight of your own.
âDonât play stupid,â You sneered, grinding the head on Scaramouche's ass, pressing your body against his to spread his legs; your free hand moved to his hips, supporting your position.
His eyebrows furrowed further to your comment, lips quivering as he slowly engulfs your length. Once you full bottom out, Scaramouche tried to relax, his breath coming with uneven huffs as he adjusted to the intrusion.
âYou look cute underneath me like this,â You teased as you started to thrust into him at a languid pace. A gasp would leave his mouth every time you'd rub him deeply insideâIf he could, he'd grab onto you or the sheets to ground himself, but with his wrists still pinned down by your grip, all he could do was accept the sensation.
It wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He's a patient man and you'll start to get needy soon, Scaramouche thinks to himself. Unfortunately, this was a game he was losing. âWould you stop playing around!?â he hissed, the desperation seething with every word.
You kept the agonizingly slow pace, dragging out every second, watching him writhe with need. Every teasing thrust had him gasping, his body trembling with anticipation, yet you refused to give him what he wanted.
Scaramouche's frustration finally reached its peak, patience snapping as he growled through gritted teeth. âIf youâre going fuck me, then fuck me properly!â He spat, his indigo eyes narrowing in aggravation. âOr are you so incompetent that you canât even do this right?â His voice trembled though still attempted to argue.
You raised an eyebrow, your amusement only growing at his outburst. âBold words,â you smirked, leaning down to kiss his neck, âfor someone whoâs trembling.â
âYouhnnâĄ... jerk!â Scaramouche retorted, his voice laced with both frustration and embarrassment as his body trembled beneath yours again. âFucking brat..â he added, breathless as his chest heaved with every sharp inhale, his emotions threatening to spill over completely.
âIronic,â You laughed. Scaramoucheâs frustration mounted as his head fell back against the pillow. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the watery sensation. He couldnât stand this anymore. The humiliation, the teasingâit was too much.
âShut up...â he whispered, voice trembling as tears began to well in the corners of his eyes. His breath hitched, and despite himself, a frustrated sob broke through his chest. âShut up and justâjust fuck me already!â His voice wavered, filled with desperation.
The word left his lips before he could stop it, and the moment it did, Scaramoucheâs defiance shattered completely. He was crying now, tears mixing with frustration as his body gave up the fight. âFuck me properly already.. please..!â He whimpered, the last word coming out unexpectedly.
You didn't think he'd cry from desperation but it was definitely a beautiful sight. Just having the ever so prideful and arrogant Scaramouche trembling, crying, and begging underneath you.. it was like you're on top of the world already.
Finally getting what you wanted, you firmly grabbed his hips and gave him one rough thrust, to which he responded with a choked out gasp. âLike that?â You murmured.
âYes!⥠Ohngh god.. more! âĄâ He moaned, his back arching with how precise your cock has hit his sensitive prostate. You've been teasing and edging him for too long, it feels like he's about to crumble just this very moment.
As you continued fucking his ass with more enthusiasm, Scaramouche could no longer stop his wanton moans. âMore, please..hahââĄâ He begged though still quite with a demanding tone, âDon't youâmmnghâĄâĄâdare stop..!â
You feel him slowly tightening around your length, his climax building up once more.
âI'm closeââ
âYou know what to say.â
â..let me cum.. pleaseâAHnggh!âĄâĄâ
How does the word âpleaseâ sound so good from his mouth? It only motivated you to finally let him get his release, pounding him vigorously without a break. The overwhelming sensation has his legs shaking, and with one last screamâ âC-Comingghmmm..!!âĄâĄâĄâ
Ropes of thick cum shot out, landing on his stomach. He whimpered and panted heavily, all energy he had earlier now extinct. You continued to thrust a little more before your own orgasm joined him, your body slowly collapsing on top of him.
The two of you stayed there, bodies sticking with sweat and other fluids. âI'm still not letting you off the hook about my notes,â you wheezed, managing a tired grin.
âI have some.. in my room,â he muttered, his voice weak and a little hoarse. He was still catching his breath but his usual sharpness had faded, replaced with exhaustion and a hint of embarrassment.
âIn math? I thought you didn't need that,â you smirked as you brushed a few strands of hair away from his face. âYou better not be lying, or weâll be doing this all over again.â
Scaramouche let out a quiet scoff, his usual attitude barely making a comeback. âAs if youâd complain.â
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#sub genshin x reader#genshin scaramouche#scaramouche#scaramouche x reader#sub scara#sub scaramouche#sub scara x reader#sub scaramouche x reader#sub genshin#scaramouche smut#sub scaramouche smut#sub scaramouche x dom reader#dom reader#sub genshin x dom reader#genshin x dom reader#scaramouche x dom reader#sub kunikuzushi#kunikuzushi#kkuzushi#zushi#zushi.đanon
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basic needs | jjk, myg
title: basic needs
pairing: jungkook x f!reader, yoongi x f!reader
rating/genre: m, smut, roommates au
summary: missing sex while being stuck in your apartment with your two roommates during quarantine is being the worst nightmare you could've imagined. fortunately, you're not the only one who's touch starved.
warnings: sexual tension, getting caught during sex, voyeurism, edging, dirty talk, protected and unprotected sex (pls be safe y'all), creampie, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms (f receiving), cum eating, finger sucking, hair pulling, praising, begging, reader gets called a whore once, a little yoongi x jungkook đ.
wordcount: 6k
note: okay... i don't know where this came from like i didn't even know i had all of this in me đ§đ»ââïž i kept gasping at my own writing, i think i got too carried away haha i just hope you like it. also pls keep in mind english is noth my first language !! let's go !
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yoongi has been in his room all afternoon, something about working on a new track, and jungkook is currently taking a shower so you have the living room for yourself, some old sitcom playing on the background but you're paying more attention to your phone. that's until you hear footsteps coming into the living room from the corridor.
"hey, loser." jungkook greets you as he ruffles his damp hair from the shower with his hands.
you hate yourself for pausing to look at his toned body, the fucker walked out of the bathroom shirtless. you blame it on your lack of sex.
"what are you watching?" he doesn't seem to notice or care about you looking at his abs, his eyes narrowed towards the tv while he puts on the shirt he was grabbing.
"i'm not really watching anything... you can play whatever you want." you try to act unbothered when he decides to grab both of your legs and raise them a little to sit on the couch to then let them fall on his lap, letting you stay lying down. his warm hands on your bare legs make you get goosebumps and you pray he doesn't notice.
what the hell is happening to you? get it together, it's just jungkook.
"wanna watch a movie?" jungkook looks at you and starts to run his fingertips through your legs in a soothing way. you're gonna go crazy over how nice it feels after being touch starved for so long.
"sure." you shrug, trying to focus on your twitter timeline and not on his hands caressing your legs.
one of his hands moves away from your legs to grab the remote on the armrest of the couch and soon after he's opening the netflix app on the tv. you turn your head to look at him when you feel his free hand starting to caress your skin again while he looks through the movies catalog. he's not looking at you so you take the opportunity to really look at his hand.
the inked hand looks strangely nice against your pale skin. his hands are actually really nice, they're big too, you wonder how they would feelâ
"anything in mind?" his voice thanfully brings you back to reality and you panic, quickly looking up at his face. he's still not looking at you.
it's impossible he knows you were staring at him, right?
"what?" you mutter with wide eyes and he finally throws you a quick glance before looking back at the tv.
"any movie you'd like to watch?"
oh.
"uh... i don't really have any in mind, you can play what you want."
"sure there's not any cheesy romantic movie you want to watch?" he's teasing you now. it's not the first time he's complained about you always watching romantic movies.
"shut up, i know you like them too," and he does. you've caught him tearing up that time you watched the notebook together. "just play something already."
"i don't know what to play, though." he keeps scrolling through all of the movies.
"okay. keep scrolling and close your eyes, stop whenever you want to and open your eyes. we'll watch that." you propose and he narrows his eyes as if he's thinking about it but ends up nodding. "close your eyes then."
you see him closing his eyes and hear the sound of the scrolling on the tv so you keep staring at him in case he cheats.
"that one." jungkook stops and opens his eyes just at the same time you turn to the tv.
"i don't know that one." you mutter after reading the title.
"a romantic one, you won." he teases again while he silently reads the synopsis and you sigh, rolling your eyes back.
"c'mon, play it."
you're pleased when the movie turns out to be kinda good. it's just another really cliché romantic story but you love movies like that. jungkook is enjoying it too even though he tries to act it out. you smile each time he makes a comment about the movie, he can never shut up when watching something.
"stuff like that doesn't happen in real life." he says and you let out a chuckle.
"it's a movie, kook." tou reply and try not to think about his hands still caressing your legs. it's been like that during all the movie, maybe he hasn't even noticed he's still doing it.
it's nothing new that jungkook is a really touchy person, he's always been touchy with you and even with yoongi, he likes to cuddle, likes to touch your hair. but this time it feels so different because of the lack of touch you've been having. it is so embarrassing to admit how nice his hands feel on you.
never in two years living with him would you have imagined jungkook could be quiet during a movie until a sex scene comes up. he suddenly goes quiet. his hand stops moving.
it's awkward. it's always awkward to watch a sex scene with someone else. if you were watching the movie with your best friend it would be totally different, but this is jungkook, your roommate, your roommate you don't have any type of relationship outside this apartment.
you feel tense, your whole body feels tense, and you pray that he doesn't notice. but you flinch when his hand squeezes your thigh a little too hard.
"oh shit, sorry." he apologizes quickly with a chuckle that seems way too forced.
good, you're both tense and awkward.
"don't worry." you reply just as quickly and he nods before turning back to the tv. he looks so focused on the movie, like he's holding his breath. you only realize you've been staring when he looks back at you.
"you okay?" jungkook is looking at you with a soft smile but also with something in his eyes you've never really seen on him.
"y-yeah," you wanna punch yourself in the face for stuttering but manage to move your legs off his lap to stand up from the couch. "i need something to drink, you keep watching the movie." your bare feet are already guiding you to the kitchen when you hear him humming.
maybe you end up spending too much time in the kitchen. you chug down a glass of water as soon as you get there but when you're finished you leave the glass on the sink and then you lean back on the isle, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down.
you hate how you can still feel jungkook's touch on your legs, how he looked so immersed in the movie, how you can't stop thinking about him squeezing a little too hard when the girl in the movie let out a loud moan, how his gaze was so dark when he looked at you, how you needed to feel his hands on you again.
god, you really need to have sex.
the door creaking open makes you snap out of your thoughts and look up. you quickly straighten up and clear your throat. jungkook is right there by the door looking at you.
"hey," he says nonchalantly and walks to the fridge. "you okay?" his voice is quiet as he grabs the bottle of orange juice.
"yeah! perfectly fine." you nod while he takes a sip of the juice.
he hums and closes the bottle. "you were taking too long, you're gonna miss the rest of the movie."
"yeah, i-"
"i'm not dumb, y/n. you can say you were uncomfortable because of the movie." he chuckles and you feel so stupid.
"no! i wasn't uncomfortable.. it's just- i-" you struggle to find the words and just feel even more stupid
"what is it?" he arches an eyebrow and walks to stand next to you, leaning back against the kitchen isle too.
"i just... fuck, i need to have sex." you snap and run your hands through your hair in frustration. "i'm gonna go crazy if i have to stay inside this house one more fucking day. i haven't had sex in three months."
"we've been quarantined for a month." jungkook points out looking at you with narrowed eyes like he's about to say something else.
"i know, shut up." you stop him before he dares to tease you for it.
"i get it." he says after a few seconds in silence and now you're the one frowning and looking at him.
"huh?"
"i need to have sex too."
oh.
"i get your frustration, sometimes i feel like i'm gonna go crazy too." he looks forward, avoiding your stare.
"oh yeah, i'm sure you're not used to not having a girl bouncing on your dick every single night." the comment was meant to tease him but you just end up feeling your heart start beating too fast at the thought of bouncing on a dick too.
you place your hands on the isle right behind your back and jump a little to sit on top of it, hissing a little because of the cold surface on your exposed thighs.
"hey, it wasn't like that before quarantine!" jungkook whines and pouts like a child and it causes a chuckle to escape your lips. "i wish, though."
"you're gross."
"as if you didn't want to bounce on a dick every single night." he looks at you with an arched eyebrow and a little smirk.
a weird feeling between your legs makes you close them instantly and you swear you can see jungkook looking down really quick before turning and walking back to the fridge to leave the juice bottle back in. when he turns around again you have to fight back a gasp at the sight of the tent he has on his sweatpants. jungkook is hard.
it's embarrasing how bad you need some dick now, it really is, but you look down and close your legs even tighter.
"i should... go to sleep, it's kinda late." you mutter and as soon as you're gonna hop off the counter there's a hand right next to your thigh on the counter.
"wait." jungkook says and you have to look up, he's standing right in front of you.
"yeah?" your voice is just as quiet as before.
"did you get worked up watching the movie?" he asks with a little knowing smile and you want to die from embarrassment.
"no!" you lie, pushing him back a little. "i didn't." you shake your head but he only chuckles, your head is lowering down again.
"it's okay, y/n." his hand brushes against your exposed thigh from where it's placed on the counter and you shiver.
"i didn't." you insist even though you know you're being so fucking obvious.
"open your legs."
a whine escapes your lips at the simple words and you're so embarrassed you wanna die, your face feels so hot.
"jungkook..." you don't want to look up at him but he just moves even closer.
"i know," he coos like he's sorry for you. and it is hot. "it's been so long since someone has talked to you like this, right?"
you just hum in response and shiver again when he pushes one of your strands of hair behind your ear.
"you need someone to take care of you, right?" he purrs, his lips softly brushing against your ear.
"fuck." you sigh and finally look up. "jungkook."
"you need it just as much as me." he says looking right into your eyes. "if you let me..."
"please."
you can't even think straight anymore.
"please, what?"
you don't answer, just spread your legs. he closes his eyes and exhales through his nose.
"y/n."
"please, touch me." you don't think you've ever heard your voice come out so whiny but jungkook seems to like it because he's immediately taking the last step forward he can take and gets between your thighs, placing his hands on your thighs.
"say that again." he says, looking down at your lips.
"touch me." you don't even think about it, because that would probably fuck everything up. it's better this way.
jungkook looks down between your bodies and one of his hands goes up your thigh until it reaches the fabric of your shorts, then it goes up to the elastic waistband. you keep your eyes on his face while he slips his hand under your shorts and finds the wet patch in your panties with his fingers. the groan that leaves his lips when he gets to feel how wet you are is louder than the moan you let out at the same time.
"holy fuck, you're so wet." his fingers start moving slowly against your clothed folds.
"fuck, kook." you sigh and move your hips even closer to him, trying to chase the feeling of his fingers on you.
"mhh... i know," jungkook coos again and you know you're gonna go crazy if he keeps taking to you like that. "feels good, right?" he hums and you're about to respond when he pushes your panties to the side and really touches you.
"fuck." you throw your head back as he runs his fingers through your wet folds.
"god, you're dripping. making a mess down here." jungkook groans and looks up at you. you must be a blushing mess already, your cheeks are burning and you literally feel lightheaded even if you haven't even done anything yet. "please, let me kiss you." he almost begs and you suddenly feel like you're gonna melt right on that counter.
before he can ask again you're throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him into a desperate kiss. you don't know if you're really fucking turned on or if he's just a really good kisser but you melt into the kiss. jungkook swallows the moans that escape your lips when he slips a finger inside so easily and starts fucking you with it.
"kook..." you moan against his lips. it feels so good to be touched again that your legs are already shaking.
"pretty." jungkook says and starts moving down, leaving a couple kisses on your jaw before kissing and sucking on your neck.
"jungkook- fuck." you sigh, tugging at his hair desperately. "seriously, it's been... it's been so long."
"i know." jungkook hums against your neck and sucks a mark on it as he adds another finger inside you.
"feels so good." you moan and a little squeak slips out of your mouth when he curls his fingers inside of you and finds that sweet spot. "it's so... fuck, it's so soon but i'm gonna cum, kook." you don't even have the mind to be embarrassed about it. it feels too good.
but jungkook suddenly stops kissing your neck and pulls back completely, his hand moving away from inside your pants. the complain about to slip out of your mouth dies in your throat when you see him sucking on his fingers and groaning.
"fuck, so sweet."
you're gonna go crazy.
"your feet on the ground, and turn around." he orders and you're so desperate you obey right away, jumping from the counter and turning around to give him your back. "you need to tell me if you really want this because it's gonna be easier to just stop now." one of his hands finds your waist and he pulls you against his body, you moan at the feeling of his clothed hard dick against your ass.
"yes, fuck, yes please." you breathe out and feel his hands on the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down immediately along with your panties. "wait, wait."
"mh?"
"yoongi, he's home." you mentally applaud your brain for being rational enough to remember you're not alone in the house.
"he doesn't leave his room for hours, don't worry about." he shrugs and you can see him pulling his sweatpants down.
"but- ah!" you whine when he pushes one of your feet further to the side so your legs spread a little more. "jungkook..." you want to insist on the fact that you're not alone but his fingers find your pussy again.
"you're fucking dripping." he sighs and easily slips two fingers inside, making you put your hand on your mouth not to be loud. "fuck, so tight."
you can't help but bend down on the counter, pushing your ass towards him to chase his fingers. jungkook straight up moans at the sight.
"please, need you inside." you whimper when he adds a third finger and starts fucking you with them at a pace that drives you crazy.
"what was that?" he asks and moves even faster. the fucker is teasing you.
"kook, need you to fuck me."
he doesn't seem to think about it twice before he reaches for one of the kitchen drawers where a box of condoms is hidden and takes one out. you can notice he's trying to hold himself back and take his time with you but he's just as eager as you, so he can't slow down now.
"you sure about this, right?" he asks. you're looking at him over your shoulder as he rolls the condom down his cock.
"i'm fucking dripping, kook. of course i'm sure." you're starting to get anxious, you wiggle your ass just to let him know you're ready for him.
a little sigh leaves your mouth when jungkook rubs his tip against your folds, just when you think he's about to slip inside he just rubs it again.
"fucking tease." you mutter with your cheek pressed against the cold surface of the counter. "just fuck m- oh!" you can't help the moan that leaves your mouth when he slips inside all the way.
"shit, so tight." jungkook hisses behind you and you whine, your walls clenching so hard around him. his hands grip on your hips so hard you're sure it's gonna leave a mark.
"it's been.. too long- fuck." you remind him as he pulls back a little just to thrust inside again.
"yeah, me too, i'm not gonna last." He warns and you almost giggle because at least you're both equally desperate.
"i don't care, just make me cum." you beg through a moan when he thrusts inside again.
"come here." one of his arms wraps around your waist and straightens you up so your back is arched against his chest, keeping you in place. you're both still wearing your shirts and your pants and underwear are just pooling by your ankles, so horny you didn't even waste time to get undressed.
"holy fuck!" you gasp when his thrusts hit a different way in the new angle and soon after, jungkook's hand is over your mouth.
"want every fucking neighbor to hear you?" he whispers against your ear and you feel your walls clenching around him again. "fuck, y/n, keep doing that and i'll cum in two seconds." his hand drops from your mouth to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it but not adding any pressure, just keeping you in place.
"so big." you whimper helplessly, your hands still flat on the counter because you feel like your legs could betray you right now. "you feel so fucking good."
you feel his hand closing a little around your neck and your eyes roll back at the feeling, he starts fucking you even faster. there are drops of sweat rolling down your forehead already but you don't care, not when you're finally having a cock inside of you. and god, he's fucking you good, so good that you don't feel embarrassed at how close you feel already.
"feels good?" jungkook hums and you can only whine in response. "fuck, your pussy is swallowing my cock, y/n, doesn't want me to leave." he groans and his thrusts are so hard that you're starting to see white dots. "you're so good, y/n."
"f-fuck... please, need... need to cum." you must sound pathetic right now but you can't bring yourself to care. "touch me, kook, make me cum."
his free hand is moving quickly, finding your clit again and rubbing fast circles that almost make you start crying.
"gonna cum, baby?" you feel his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers. the pet name makes you clench even harder around him. "wanna cum on my cock?" he sounds so gone too, you know he's close too. if you knew he was gonna fuck you this good you would've actually taken your time with him, but you let it pass for now because you're both needy and just need to get off.
"yeah." you unconsciously let out the most pornographic moan you've ever heard from yourself and jungkook start giving sloppy thrusts, you're both so close. "kook, i'm gonna cum." you manage to let out and right after your mouth can't even make sounds anymore.
"fuck, y/n."
you're so close. you're gonne cum. so fucking close.
but the door creaks open and you both freeze, not being able to contain your moans at the feeling of jungkook bottoming out once again.
"yoongi!" you scream at the boy standing by the door at the same time as jungkook screams 'hyung!'. you try your best to cover yourself by pulling your shirt down. jungkook's hand drops from your neck to rest on your waist.
"oh, don't stop." yoongi shrugs as if he's just caught you chopping vegetables.
"huh?" jungkook mutters behind you and you can feel it about to move away but you reach for his thigh with your hand to keep him there.
"kook, please." you don't know what got into you. you're so desperate to cum you don't even mind yoongi being there in front of you.
"see? she wants you to keep going." yoongi's voice is so calm as he slowly walks towards you, leaning back against the counter, just right next to where you both are.
you look down as your cheeks start burning and you clench around jungkook. why the hell are you getting turned on by being watched by your roommate while getting fucked by your other roommate?
"fuck, y/n." you know jungkook is hissing because you got impossibly tight around him and you can hear Yoongi's little chuckle. "you're just gonna stand there?" the younger asks his friend.
"i don't think she minds." yoongi replies and you can almost see the smug smile on his face even if you're staring at the counter.
"y/n?" jungkook mutters behind you but you don't answer. you're so close, so embarrassed and so turned on that you're scared your voice will come out in a pathetic whine.
"y/n," yoongi's deeper voice calls for you too but you don't reply either. "look at me, y/n," he speaks again and you bite your lip not to let out another moan because you're sure you're currently creaming jungkook's cock. "pull her hair so she looks at me, jungkook."
your breath hitches then the youngest does just as yoongi says and a moan finally escapes your throat as he tugs at your hair and brings your head up, turning it a little to the side so you can face the boy beside you. he's handling you as if you were a doll. and the second you lock eyes with yoongi you feel numb. his eyes are so dark, you've never really seen him looking at you like that. a little smirk grows on his face as he looks all over your face. you probably look a mess.
"do you want me to stay?" he asks with an unusual soft voice that makes your legs shake.
"hyung." jungkook says with a warning tone, his cock throbbing inside you. he needs to cum too.
"shut up," yoongi gives jungkook a quick look and turns to you again. "y/n?" the words don't even leave your mouth, you can't speak. "what? jungkookie was fucking you so good you can't even talk?" he speaks with a condescending tone, like he's sorry for you. you close your eyes as you clench around jungkook again.
"fuck, y/n." jungkook's free hand squeezes the flesh on your hip.
"keep fucking her, kook," yoongi finally says. "let's see if you can make her talk again."
jungkook doesn't need to be told twice because he lets go of your hair and starts moving again without even questioning him. your head stays in place for yoongi to see you but your eyes are still closed. you must be going crazy because you don't think you've ever felt this good during sex and it is just a quick fuck in the kitchen with your roommate while your other roommate looks at you.
after a specific thrust that hits just where you need it you arch your back until your head falls on jungkook's shoulder, you throw one of your arms behind you so you can reach jungkook's hair and keep him close. your fingers tangle with the soft locks while he fucks you at a brutal pace.
"right there, kook..." you moan.
"like that?" he whines, fucking whines, against your ear as he keeps thrusting against that sweet spot inside you and you nod frantically. one of his hands stays on the counter right next to yours and the other sneaks under your shirt and finally cups over one of your boobs, a groan hits your ear.
"s-sensitive.." you warn him but he squeezes your boob anyway. you cry out. you're so close again, so fucking close.
"stop." yoongi says and jungkook halts his movements immediately as if he was under his spell.
"fuck, yoongi." you choke on a moan. when you open your eyes you can see yoongi looking down at where your bodies meet, then he looks at jungkook.
"jungkook," yoongi says and jungkook hums in response. "you got tested when i did, you're clean." he tells him and then he looks at you. "are you clean? and on the pill?"
"yeah," you nod. "yes to both." you suddenly feel shy again. they both sigh at your answer and you gulp, watching yoongi turning to jungkook with an arched eyebrow.
"then why are you wearing a condom?" yoongi asks. and he's not wrong. you usually didn't risk it, you always use to have protected sex, but now that you see it like this you wonder why you didn't ask jungkook if he was clean from the start.
"hyung... i don't know if she-" jungkook mutters like he's not sure but you can clearly feel his cock twitching inside you.
"do you want him to wear the condom?" yoongi asks you, his voice still calm and his look unbothered.
"y/n, you don't have t-"
"take it off." you cut Jungkook off and yoongi smiles. you feel so nice after seeing his reaction that you wonder if you're doing this just to make him feel proud. it feels good.
"pull out, kookie," yoongi says and walks towards him, you turn your head to look back at them. jungkook obeys quickly, your walls squeezing him like you want to keep him inside. "good," yours and jungkook's breaths hitch when yoongi himself takes the condom off of his cock and goes to throw it on the trash. "you leaked a lot, damn." he say through a breathy chuckle when he comes back and decides to stand right behind jungkook.
"hyung."
"she must feel good, right?" yoongi is suddenly resting his chin on his shoulder and looking down. your eyes follow yoongi's and then roll back when you see yoongi's hand wrapping around jungkook's cock and slowly stroking him to spread the precum on his tip all over his length.
"fuck, hyung." the boy moans and your pussy throbs.
god, this is so fucking hot you could cum if they kept that going for a little longer. but yoongi drops his sticky hand and looks at you tilting his head and lightly raising his eyebrows.
"open your mouth." he says and you don't question him, just open your mouth and welcome two of his fingers inside.
you moan around them as you suck and swallow jungkook's taste off them while yoongi stares at your lips, his tongue licking the corner of his lips.
"clean my hand." his fingers drop from your mouth and you stick your tongue out, one of your hands wrapping around his wrist while you run your tongue all over his palm and fingers, cleaning jungkook off of him.
they're both looking at you like they want to eat you up and you feel so powerful yet you can feel your arousal dripping down your thighs by this point. yoongi drops his hand when you've cleaned it completely and then looks at jungkook.
"c'mon, kookie, fuck her now." he says really close to jungkook's ear and the younger obeys instantly, slipping inside you and groaning at the feeling. "good boy." yoongi chuckles as jungkook bottoms out.
"so good." you moan, already feeling the clear difference in having him inside with nothing in between. a whimper is forced out of your mouth when jungkook starts thrusting into you again.
"that feels good, right?" yoongi asks and moves to stand beside you again, to watch it all happen.
"mhm..." you moan. "please... jungkook- please."
"so pretty when you beg." yoongi puts his fingers under your chin to make you look at him. "such a pretty whore."
"oh my god!" your eyes roll back. you feel yourself just a second away from coming. "gonna cum... fuck..."
"yeah, i can fucking feel you." jungkook breathes out. "fuck." his thrusts become sloppy real fast. he's close too.
"jungkook..." you completely bend over the counter again because your arms can't support your weight anymore, your cheek gets smushed against the cold surface. "i'm- shit... i'm coming." you whimper.
"then cum." yoongi's voice is all you need to get there. a shocking wave of pleasure runs through your whole body while you clench hard around him.
"shit, so tight." jungkook mutters behind you and one of your weak arms reaches behind to grab at his thigh. "so close, y/n."
"please." your whole body is shaking with oversensitivity.
"want me to pull out?" jungkook asks.
"no... please," you beg. "come inside, baby." you cry out.
"c'mon jungkook, cum." yoongi says and that seems like enough for jungkook too, because you feel his throbbing cock releasing inside of you.
"fuck," jungkook mumbles. "y/n, come here." his hands are on your waist again.
"i can't." you let out a weak chuckle but jungkook is suddenly wrapping his arms around you and pulling you up.
"need to kiss you." he says and you immediately turn your head to find his lips. you kiss him slow, nothing like the kisses you shared before, and it feels good to kiss jungkook like that.
he's the one that breaks the kiss and when you try to chase his lips again he just chuckles and gives your hip a soft slap.
"kiss yoongi too." he whispers just at the same time as you feel a hand wrapping around your neck.
yoongi's lips are on yours as soon as you turn around. you hum through the kiss and bring one of your hands up to his cheek, tilting his head a little to deepen the kiss. he swallows your moan when jungkook's cock finally slips out of you and you feel his cum spilling out. yoongi breaks the kiss when jungkook mumbles something you can't really hear.
"shit..." you close your legs when you feel jungkook's cum spilling out and dripping down your thigh. "it's so messy."
"not for long," yoongi suddenly grabs you and brings you to the fridge, making you lean back against it as he drops to his knees in front of you. you stop breathing for a second. "i'm gonna clean you up."
"hyung," jungkook calls him as he puts on his sweatpants again. "you're gonna-"
"do you think this is my first time tasting cum?" yoongi throws him a quick glance and you swear you see jungkook blushing for a moment.
yoongi turns to you again and grabs one of your thighs, throwing it over his shoulder and diving in with no warning.
"yoongi, fuck!" you throw your head back as one of your hands goes to his hair. he hums against your pussy and laps at your entrance, from where jungkook's cum keeps spilling out.
"that's so fucking hot." jungkook sighs but you can't open your eyes to look at him, you keep them closed.
"yoongi, you're gonna- gonna make me cum again." you mumble, your only leg supporting you starting to shake but yoongi keeps you steady with one hand on your waist and the other on your thigh over his shoulder. and the warning that you're gonna cum only makes yoongi push you further to the edge, sucking on your clit and basically burying his face on your pussy like he's starving for you. "yoongi, oh my- fuck, oh my god!"
you don't know what to do with your hands anymore, one of them stays on his hair while the other ends on your mouth to try and stop the pathetic noises from coming out. though one hand is suddenly grabbing that arm and pulling it down.
it's yoongi. he detaches his mouth from you to say, "i wanna hear you." and suddenly slips two fingers inside you.
"sensitive..." you mumble, your legs shaking again and threatening to close even if yoongi's head is between them.
"gotta clean you well," yoongi says. "jungkookie had a big load for you, huh?" he chuckles again.
you've never heard something so hot in your entire life. jungkook must think the same because he groans somewhere in the kitchen, you don't see him because you're too busy holding yoongi's eye contact.
"you like me cleaning jungkookie off your pussy?" yoongi asks you and gives your clit another little lick as he fucks the cum out of you with his fingers. "dirty girl."
"please, yoongi."
"love hearing you say that." he smirks as he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his mouth, cleaning them with his tongue.
"hyung, jesus fucking christ." jungkook sighs while yoongi goes back to eating you out like he's wanted it for months.
"i'm gonna cum, yoongi- ah!" you throw your head back against the fridge again when yoongi sucks on your clit and starts fucking you with his fingers again. "oh, right there!" his fingers keep brushing against that sweet spot and you're sure you're gonna cum soon.
it doesn't take long for you to cum on his mouth and fingers, yoongi gives your pussy one last kiss before placing another one on your thigh still on his shoulder and finally puts it down.
"you're okay?" yoongi asks you as he stands up and cups your face with his hands to check on you.
"yeah," you nod. "just a little dizzy."
"i'm sure you're tired." he brushes his thumbs on your cheeks affectionately and your eyes close on their own. "i'll go prepare a bath for you, okay?" he says and kisses your forehead.
and holy fuck, you never thought that thing people said about feeling butterflies in your stomach was real but now you can feel them because as soon as yoongi pulls away, you feel another kiss on your cheek from jungkook.
"you were amazing." he tells you and you have half a mind to smile.
"wait," you turn to the door where yoongi is already making his way to the bathroom. "yoongi!" you call out for him and he quickly turns around.
"yeah?" he asks and your eyes go down to his crotch. he's hard. of course he is.
"do you... want help with that?" you ask shyly but he just waves a hand dismissively.
"don't worry about it, you're completely spent, you should rest now." yoongi replies sincerely but then looks to jungkook. "unless you're ready for another round." he cocks an eyebrow.
you look at jungkook and a giggle slips out of your mouth when you see him shocked, his cheeks tomato red. yoongi chuckles too.
"i'm just teasing you," the older says. "i'll go prepare a bath." and he leaves the kitchen.
then you're alone with jungkook again. you grab your clothes from the floor even if you're not really gonna put them on now.
"what was all of that about?" you dare to ask and you know jungkook understands what you mean but you still push further. "yoongi and you...?"
"it was nothing." he quickly replies. you're not dumb, he's getting defensive.
"okay..." you mutter. "calm down, i wasn't judging."
"i know," jungkook says and oh he looks troubled. "it was just nothing."
"okay," you nod and give him a reassuring smile because he looks more tense now than before. "just... if you've got some thoughts you need to let out... i'm here, or whatever..." you try not to make things real serious but you just don't want to see jungkook like this.
"i'm okay." he replies.
"mh, good." you end up putting just your shorts on again because it might be a little weird to have this conversation while being half naked.
"by the way, that was short but it was amazing." jungkook says out of nowhere and you giggle, slapping his arm.
"yeah, you were not bad either." you say and squeeze his bicep twice before walking out of the kitchen.
and when you're left alone in the corridor everything you just did hits you like a truck.
what the hell have you done?
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A/N: hope you enjoyed it !! i'm not 100% satisfied with this one, i know i could've done a lot better but yeah :) thank u for reading ! have a nice day <3
#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts reactions#bts fanfic#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#jungkook reaction#yoongi fic#yoongi fanfic#yoongi imagine#yoongi reaction#jungkook x reader#yoongi x reader#suga fanfic#suga fic#suga imagine#suga reaction#bts smut#jungkook smut#yoongi smut#suga smut#gggukniverse#bangtan x reader#bangtan reactions#bangtan fic#bangtan fanfic#bangtan imagines
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realistic sex with yunho
yunho x f!reader fluff | smut | mdni a/n: our big puppy boy yunho is the next entry to this series where i try to imagine how each member would actually fuck, as âšrealisticallyâš as possible. disclaimer: i say realistic but lets be honest this is pure delulu behaviour and total fiction. everything is solely based on the vibes the boys give off.
yunho is the kind of man that knows exactly what he wants. so when he got to know you he knew instantly he wanted you. maybe he didnât know right away he wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with you but he definitely knew he wanted to explore this as a possibility
yunho goes to people heâs compatible with, therefore there's no awkward first stage. he pursues you but is never annoying or pressing but he's not a smooth talker either (he can be though) he just puts you at ease. he makes sure you feel comfortable around him and lightens the mood often with funny comments and little jokes or even silly faces.
basically makes you laugh all the time.
the goofballâą
that's how you fell for him without even noticing. because you were just laughing all the way through enjoying spending time with your friend until he was way more than this.
getting together with him was so natural that at some point the lines got a little blurry and when you finally asked what you guys were he looked at you with big round puppy eyes
"what kind of question is that you're? you're my girlfriend, silly" was his response. to him it was so obvious that he didn't even need to label your relationship. to his defense he's been sure about you since that first day he made you laugh for real. not the polite controlled laugh but snorting laugh you could be self conscious about. but to him it's the single most endearing thing about you.
he loves that side of you and that he's known for quite a while. the man doesn't hesitate and doesn't beat around the bush
(aries much? yes very)
overall yunho is very gentle maybe because of his height but he's very much conscious of his body and strength and he's not the kind to accidentally hurt you when you play fight
and that's how you know than when he does hurt you. he means it. (more on that later hehe)
many people assume that since yunho is like tall tall that's he has a size kink. I am a firm believer that he actually doesn't. he knows he's tall, he doesn't need the size kink ego boost. but you know who has a size kink? san!Â
ofc if you're into it yunho will be more than happy to tap into it calling you little and bending you're tiny body in various position where he will look and feel huge over you just to make you shake and whine for him <3
the main thing that gets yunho's blood boiling is very simple: control.
well that's now that he is comfortable with you. because the first time you were intimate i feel like he was very very shy and you even thought it was cute how he got flustered the first time he saw you undress for him or how blushy he got the first time you told him how big he was (more big cock!yunho down below heheheheheh)
but as soon as he became comfortable the golden retriever boy vibe was out of the window as soon as you stepped in the bedroom.
yunho is a dom. plain and simple.
what he wants is for you to submit. he's not even necessarily the mean dom type (he def can be though) he's just the kind that would enjoy for you to be blindfolded or other kind of sensory deprivation or even bounded (if you're into that) he will go absolutely crazy for that
he would enjoy controlling you, getting you to lie down blindfolded and having you be completely at his mercy. He would trace his big hands across your nude skin and leave goose bumps scattered on your body, making you shiver with light touches just to get your blood boiling. He loves to see you pant and squirm with just a few touches. Heâs the kind to tease like this until you have no choice but to beg him for more.
there only the real fun would begun skdlsklslkdls
most of the time yunho is making love to you. he doms you but heâs gentle, he whispers words of affirmation in your ear and is very attentive to your queues. he is very observant and will know when to stop/slow down/keep going. and particularly when he penetrates you. Since he's like big big. he always makes sure to go real slow. the one first stroke is always slow and deep, he pushes his big fat cock into you very slowly so you have time to adapt to him. and how he loves to see your lips go round when he bottoms out and his cock comes to kiss your cervix. h absolutely loves to hear your little gasps.
but most of the time you donât take too long because he already prepped you with a nice session of fingering (and maybe one orgasm or two hehe). yunho doesn't have a hand kink himself but if you have one (if you are a yunho stan lets be honest here you have one lol) he will ABSOLUTELY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT. at first it always starts as a joke to tease you. he knows how much you like his hands and he just loves to tease. at first he just strokes your thighs just to look at you hold your breath and ogling how his hand wraps perfectly around your thigh and how his veins pop out on his forearms when he squeezes your thigh a little. he plays it off as if heâs just minding his business pretending heâs unware of the effect he has on you but when you catch on to his teasing and playfully hit him he just throw his head back and laughs with that crystal clear laugh and creased eyes that made you fall for him. (he's just so cute and handsome and cute and handsome and slkdlskdlkdk)
but then his hand goes back to your thighs but with more purpose, it goes higher on your thighs closer to your center earning a little whimper from you and suddenly this sound makes him forget about the joke altogether. now he pushes his fingers inside your mouth, smirking when you instinctively wrap your mouth around them and suck on them while moaning, eyes fluttering close.Â
he presses his other hand to your clothed core and just rubs you there until you lose your mind before you are even undressed
âyou like that baby? you like my fingers in your mouth?â "what's that baby? you want them somewhere else too" *snickers cockily* "so eager" âthats it baby make them nice and wet for me so the slide right in your pretty little pussyâ
before you know it he pushes two long fingers inside you making your back arch against his broad chest and broken cries fall off your lips.
one other thing: like i said mingi like to be praised and yunho likes to praise you (thats why yungi is match made in heaven)
he loves to see your reactions every time he praises you.
âthatâs my good girlâ âbaby you feel so good around meâ âlook at you taking my big cock, youâre doing so great for meâÂ
of course that is interlaced with low groans and pants because i donât think heâs the type to scream and moan a lot but heâs definitely not the type to keep all the beautiful sounds he can make to himself.
also like i mentioned in other parts of this series yunho is the jealous type. i think possessive even. but like contrary to hongjoong (who would just be upfront about it, confronting the person that hits on you) yunho is more subtle. if he sees you flirting with someone else he would come up behind you and wrap his arm around your waist, throw a defying (and ravaging) smile to his rival. but thatâs the thing with yunho. his authority comes from within. he doesnât even need to use brute force to get his point across he doesnât need to raise his voice. everything is in the aura. nothing scarier than a mad and angry golden retriever energy boy.
as soon as the opponent taps out yunho is pushing you to a more secluded spot at your current location. If itâs a party it might be a bathroom or an unoccupied room. if itâs a mall it might be a quiet corner of the parking lot. truthfully he doesnât care because right now he sees red and he needs to remind you that you are his. his only.
he would push you up against the cold concrete wall of the parking lot behind two big cars to be sure no one else can lay their eyes on you and overstim you out in the open until you canât take it anymore. making you cum on his fingers and cock over and over again until you beg him to stop and he demands an apology from you which you comply to immediately in broken moans and sobs chanting 'sorryâs' and 'i wont do it againâs' until heâs satisfied.
but that is only if you piss him off. so dont piss him off (or do)
i feel like he almost 100% of the times finishes inside you. He just loves to stuff you full and hopefully make you a mom someday (even though he doesn't say it) so he considered this practice for when you are both ready
he loves for you to cockwarm him to sleep after heâs fucked your brains out and you both sleep cuddled up into each other <33333
screaming into the void because how cute (and incredibly hot) can one man be????
BONUS: tw: feet (don't read if it makes you uncomfy <3). idk if my brainâs chemistry was permanently altered by all the memes about this but i have started to believe yunho is actually into feet (yeah boo me if u wanna) when you think about it foot fetish is one of the most common one literally the most vanilla flavored kink ever (i don't make the rules) so itâs not impossible and i dont think itâs improbable. so here you go for this bonus: i feel like yunho likes the mating press for this very reason. because that way with your thighs pressed to your chest he gets to see your feet. when he pounds into you and he feels heâs close he would take hold of your foot and bring it to his face, heavily breathing and panting, getting your toes into his mouth and groan as he fills you up full of cum. one other way he likes to include some feet play is just to get a foot job, he would press both your feet together fuck his fat and mighty cock right between them. and nothing gets him more feral than to do that before he takes you and fucks your tight little cunt. you like the way he ruts into your feet because every time he does he sounds more rough, more primal then ever and you just think that's a good look on him. (not to mention he gets so worked up itâs guaranteed that heâs going to wreck your whole word right after) <3
IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS đ€
want to see another member? request it in the comments or asks <3
realistic sex with seonghwa, with mingi, with wooyoung, with san | ateez masterlist | navigation
#yunho smut#yunho hard thoughts#yunho hard hours#ateez smut#ateez hard hours#ateez hard thoughts#yunho#yunho ateez#yunho fanfic#yunho x reader#jeong yunho#ateez yunho#kpop smut#yunho x you#ateez#ateez fanfic#yunho fluff
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Iâm begging for part two of gynaecologist!sunghoon đŠ
â protected sex, down bad sunghoon, he does all the work, pussy drunk, situationship, cussing, suggestive content mdni
â c's note: gynecologist hoon is doing something to me... p.s pt.1 is here. reblogs are appreciated!
â taglist (open): @hollyoongs @moon7jay @wondipity @fertilizedtoesw @kwiwin @enhabooks @jaylaxies
it had been around five months since you made your appointments with the gynecologist, specifically requesting sunghoon to be the doctor attending to you. in the passage of that time, you both had been hooking up in that office after your checkups, and it just stayed like that. you had established that you did not want anything serious, and hoon was fine with that as long as you let him keep touching your body.
you had found out that he was a perv. he would rail you up while he was doing your monthly checkups and then use the excuse that you were needy and that he, as a good man and doctor, should help you. he also reassured you that he did not do this with other patients. there was just something about you that had him obsessed. all of his "attributes" were reserved for you, his favorite patient.
and that explains why you were laying with your back flat on his desk as sunghoon aligned the tip of his cock with your entrance. it was different this time, and your excitement had you pooling with arousal. it was usually him fingering you or eating you out, but he had finally broken. he was going to do what he had been longing to do this entire time, and you were going to be able to feel him in you.
the condom around his cock felt cold against your skin, making you shiver. sunghoon was already groaning at how tightly you were swallowing just the tip. it was a feeling that only fed his obsession with you and your body. he felt like he could go crazy, resisting the urge to just ram into you without mercy.
he was staying calm for your own sake, soothingly massaging your hip to ease the pain of getting stretched by his fat cock. "you're taking me in so- mhm! so well."
once you gave him a green light to move, he went on with almost everything he had. almost because if he went with full force, he'd break you in half. "feels just as good as i fucking imagined."
sunghoon was sweet in general, giving you presents and insisting on getting you jewelry as a thank-you. you were spoiled even though all you did was hook up with him once a month. he always said he had to do the work and that all you had to do was feel good.
but after five full months of feeling your walls tighten around his fingers and tongue, the desire to feel his dick being swallowed whole by your walls grew and grew.
sunghoon covered your mouth with his hand, noticing how high and loud your moans had become. he had learned this was your sign of getting close to your release.
his thrusts became hard and fast, trying to align his own release with yours. "hoon, i- fuck! i can't hold it!"
"let it go, princess. show me how good I made you feel."
his deep and hoarse voice threw you over the edge. your head threw back, eyes rolled back as your hands held his arms, holding your hip. with one last thrust, sunghoon pushed his own hip as hard as he could, having the tip of his cock touch a sensitive spot that sent your body into a spasming spiral.
he came in the condom, throwing his head back as he kept you in place with his strong arms. he was quick to pull out, getting the condom off and tying a knot to throw it in his trash can. he kissed your thighs all the way to your tummy, causing you to sigh with every touch.
rhe aftercare was always nice. he would wash you up, again not letting you do anything. he'd dress you back up and let you have a moment to compose yourself before walking out as if nothing had happened.
"i'll see you next month, sweetheart."
© glitterjay | tumblr
#â âż c's work!#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#engene#kpop#kpop smut#hard hours#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen sunghoon smut#sunghoon smut#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon scenarios#park sunghoon#park sunghoon smut#enhypen park sunghoon
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Thinking about big dick Chifuyu who doesnât know how to handle the gift God has given him
You two have been in bed for what feels like hours trying to get his dick to fit inside you and itâs more of a task than either of you imagined. Heâs eaten you out over and over, sucking and licking at your clit while putting three fingers inside you to try to open you up more. Though youâve already come multiple times, it hasnât been while heâs inside you and itâs making both of you crazy.
âJust jack me off.â He sounds defeated as he starts to move away from you. âThis isnât going to work.â
You grab him by his face and pull him back in for a kiss.
âDonât say that. We can figure this out. We just have to try something else.â You counter.
He sighs and sinks back down on top of you.
âWeâve been trying forever. I canât get it in.â
You distract him with a make out session while you develop a new game plan. Heâs in the process of placing kisses all over your neck when you realize what you have to do.
âChifuyu?â
âHmm?â
His eyes meet yours and theyâre dark with lust.
He needs to cum and he needs it badly.
âYou just have to push it in all the way. Donât stop until youâre deep inside me.â
His cock twitches against your thigh, and you know he wants nothing more than to tear you in half. But sweet chifuyu thinks with his head and not his cock so heâs still hesitant.
âI donât know, baby. I donât want to hurt you.â
You've been waiting since the first time you laid eyes on him for this moment and are more than willing to do anything to make it work.
âI can take it. I promise.â You pull him in and press your lips to his again. âJust fuck me, Chifuyu.â
Heâs cautious sliding back into you, and when youâre already gasping and wriggling away when heâs only a third of the way in, you feel him start to draw back.
âNo! Donât stop. I can take it, I promise!â You plead, though heâs already almost stretched you to your typical limit.
âAre you sure?â His eyebrows furrow and you notice a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead. His arms are on either side of you and the veins are threatening to burst through skin.
Heâs using all his strength to hold back from slamming all the way into you.
âYes! Just keep going.â
He nods working himself in a little deeper.
You involuntarily shriek at the sensation of being filled up and stretched more than you ever thought possible but you tell him to keep going so he does.
Soon youâre a complete mess beneath him. A moaning, screaming, watery eyed mess begging him to go deeper.
When heâs finally mostly inside you, heâs pressing kisses all over your face, brushing your hair aside, and apologizing.
âIâm sorryâŠfuck, I know itâs big. Iâm sorryâŠyou just feel so fucking goodâŠâ
Heâs alternating between apologizing and thrusting deeper when, by some divine miracle, you open up fully for him and he slips the rest of the way into you.
Both of you are surprised and when your eyes meet his you see something has changed within him.
The sweet cautious man who was too scared to fuck you is gone and heâs been replaced with someone far more devious.
A low growl escapes him as he lowers himself so that his mouth is near your ear. He leans in close and whispers âIâm going to make this pussy mine.â
Then he lets you have all the sexual energy heâs been holding back. Heâs got your legs up on his shoulders, pounding down into you while you cry out his name over and over.
The more you moan and scream his name the harder he fucks you.
âYou take this big cock even better than I thought you would. Fuck- You like being used like this donât you?â
You can barely believe THIS is the same person who was too shy to kiss you first.
Now heâs on top of you talking like he invented sex.
#i had to chug a bottle of water after i wrote this#Chifuyu has me in my FEELINGS today#tokyo revengers smut#tokrev smut#chifuyu x you#chifuyu scenarios#chifuyu x reader#chifuyu x y/n#chifuyu smut#chifuyu matsuno#tokrev chifuyu#cw: smut#cw: suggestive
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Ahem- what if reader gave nerdy!Miguel aphrodisiac ( secretly just to see his reaction if he be extra needy or force đ©â€ idk you choose OR both đ) and Miguel is trying everything in is power too not cum on reader touches that he normally would have to beg for, but while reader is letting Miguel, this (ONLY)time to goes crazy on her body ,free use!, but it thing like these always have a price to payđ! And that price is doing her painfully long assignment and carry her bag if there were something Miguel hate well now he going to hate it even more since he doing this for a week or a month! (I bet that Miguel least favorite thing to do) đ hope you have a great day though
I definitely SO normal about thisđđ
STOP RNNNNN i can literally imagine miguel fucking like a RABBIT like omg
cw: aphrodisiac use, mating press, miguel grows balls, he fucks the shit out of you, unprotected sex (wrap it children), squirting đ€, miguel got a dirty mouth, creampie action once more. i briefly looked over this so expect typos lmao enjoy đ
itâs been 3 hours. you and miguel had decided to try those viral honey packs you saw, wondering what the effect would be. well- you made miguel try them and see how fast it would take for him to cum.
it started off all fun and games until after miguelâs first orgasm, he lost control. youâre currently in a mating press, pussy covered in slick and cum, your body is practically limp from the pleasure and overstimulation. the sheets are wet from your combined fluids, and your squirt.
âi- i canât anymore. no more miguel,â you heave out, pushing your hands to his pelvis.
âmove your hands,â miguel says unmoved. he looked so fucking sexy, fucking into you, face etched in insurmountable pleasure, his hulking body covered in sweat and hickies. âgonna cum in you, make my mistress a mommy,â he moans out, pounding into you with all he has and you have no choice but to take it with your feet at your head.
âpleasepleaseplease, oh my fucking- ah!â you squeal, feeling your- how many orgasms was it now?- building up inside you, a familiar pressure bubbling up behind it. âiâm gonna- gonna cum,â you moan out, miguel still pounding in you. the sound of your skin slapping together fills up your dorm room.
âcum all over me, mama. i need you all over me,â he groans out, his own orgasm seeming to come close as well. you let out a squeal as your orgasm wracks over your body violently, pushing out spurts of clear liquid all over miguelâs abdomen.
âfuuuuckkk, so good,â miguel moans. he thrusts a few more times, fucking you through the rest of your orgasm, and then spills into you with a groan. he pulls out of your sore pussy, laying on his back next to you in your queen bed.
âi hope you know youâre not getting away from this scott free,â you quip, turning your head to look at his side profile.
back to normal, miguelâs face reddens realizing what had just happened. âa- anything you command, mistress.â
#miguel o'hara#miguel oâhara drabble#miguel atsv smut#miguel oâhara smut#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel oâhara x you#miguel atsv#sub miguel o'hara#youâve got mailđ#<nerd!miguel3
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fucked-up little thrill â cl16
genre: pwp but also porn with plot (the best of both worlds!), humor, she truly is a maneater in disguiseee
word count: 8.3K
Thereâs a difference between warning and danger - you happen to be both. Though, Charles only sees the green light, go. Well, we can all imagine how this will already go.
nsfw warnings under the cut!
18+...oral (m and f receiving), fingering, handjob, penetrative sex, riding, slight cry, unprotected sex
inspired by this and this !
âSheâll mess with your head, man. Youâre going to wish she had never looked your way.âÂ
âI told my mom about her. Crap, I bought her an engagement ring after a few days of knowing her.â
âFour words: Get. The. Fuck. Out.â
âDo you know how fucked in the head you have to be in order to willingly go after her? Fucking pathetic. Sure, I did the same, but hear me out-â
Despite the warnings, he didnât pay them any attention. He thought he was going crazy for sure when he saw two guys on their knees, begging: Â Run, just do it. And whatever you do, donât look back.
Charles wasnât even listening.Â
-
The nights were beginning to get warmer, yet there was still a slight breeze. Spring was rolling in. What an innocent season to meet the wildest card Charles has ever dealt.Â
â...then she laughed so hard that, Jesus Mary and Joseph, my heart went bananas! Yâknow what I did next? I asked her, âYou want a slice?â I meant the tiramisu, guys! She thought I was talking about myself! Tâwas the most embarrassing thing. Made me look like a bloody narcissist.â Lando whined as he leaned onto the table to hide his face.
George snorts. âAh donât worry mate, I would gladly take a slice.â Lando groans, further rubbing his forehead onto the table. So much so, that it began to squeak.
âAlright, calm down before you shed your skin off. It wasnât that bad.â Alex voices, as he pops a curly fry into his mouth.Â
âEasy for you to say! You basically have the person youâre going to get married to! Youâre safe.â The Brit pouts. He then lifts his head up and wipes away a single tear. Everyone explodes into laughter.
âMuppet, câmon we were kidding! Werenât we just fooling around, Charles?â Carlos wiggles his eyebrows at the Monegasque. Charles rolled his eyes playfully.
âYes, of course we were joking,â he starts. Lando looks up, seemingly feeling better as everyone began to agree. We were just playing around!
âThen again, how did you even fall for a girl like that?â Charles finishes his sentence.Â
âArgh. You donât get itttt,â Lando wails in defeat. âWhen you meet a girl like that, you donât question it. You just thank God for sending her your way and then BAM! She just walks out of your life.â
Hm - Charles thinks to himself as he takes a sip of Martini - naive, naive little Lando.Â
-
Charles met you that same night he was out for dinner with the boys. He was waiting for his car from the valet; shooting Joris a quick text.
"Sorry," he overhears a soft voice, but still didnât pay much attention.
"Sorry? Youâre sorry? We both know goddamn well that youâre sorry about nothing. Nada. Zeeerrrooo," a man's voice angrily shouts back, voice slurring.Â
Charles turns and sees a man running his hands through his blonde hair, walking back and forth in despair. Then, his eyes move to find you.
Standing tall in the tightest, shortest, black dress he's ever seen. So, the little black dress truly does exist. Glowy skin shining through from the lights decorating the outside of the restaurant. Your legs appear miles long, feet paired with your nicest set of heels, Joli Queen Glitter. Red fucking bottoms. Christian Louboutin at its finest. Rich jewelry sits on your wrists, fingers, and neck.Â
Even with all that in the way, all he notices is just how drop-dead gorgeous you are. Suddenly, his fingers get clammy. What the hell? His jaw was clenched. Literally, why? His pants were growing tight because oh God he was already har- Alright, now thatâs just crazy, Charles. Get it together.
âYes. Whether you believe me or not, Iâm sorry. Maybe you just shouldnât have set high expectations,â you spoke, looking down.
âAre you being fucking serious right now? Youâre smiling? You think this is funny! Oh God, what the fuck is wrong with you, you crazyyyy bitch!â The man continues, sharply pointing his finger at you accusingly. He genuinely looks like heâs about to start crying for his mommy.
âOkay mate, I think thatâs enough. Why donât I call you a cab?â Charles speaks up from where heâs standing. You and the mysterious guy turn to look at him.Â
You shoot a smile as the man's eye starts twitching.
âOh great! Great, great, great,â the man chants. âWhat an idiotic thing to believe that you hadn't gotten rid of me already! How could I not see it coming?â He drops to his knees and starts rocking back and forth. âOn my dead hamster's birthday!â Levi, Charles later finds out, cries out to the sky. âCouldnât this have happened any other day?â Charles cringes. âCall me that shitty ass cab, dude.â
So, you stand close by as Charles helps plop Levi inside with the help of the cab driver. They buckle him up and off they go.Â
Not before Levi pokes his out the window. âI swear Iâm not being bitter when I tell you to fucking save yourself!â
Both of you are left there standing quietly. You pout your red lips as you pull out your phone to call a cab for yourself.Â
âNeed a lift?â
-
Glancing around silently, you sneak a look at Charles. Handsome, you ponder, just a tiny bit. Outrageous lie. You quickly scold yourself for being so untruthful. This man was the most beautiful kind youâve seen in your entire life.Â
âTake it that was your boyfriend back there?â He taps his fingers against the wheel.
âMmm. Hardly. No, he isnât - wasnât - my boyfriend by any means. Some guys just instantly assume stuff over any girl that pays them any ounce of attention.â You lazily trace shapes onto your thigh. You tug your dress down a bit, licking your lips. âThanks for helping me out back there. It was really sweet.â
He notices the way you never look up from your lap as youâre speaking. Itâs kind of endearing, just how soft you can be. âDonât mention itâŠit wasâŠno problem.â
He walks you from his car to your house. It's small, pastel yellow with a mailbox that reads; No more love letters. Seriously. âCute,â he comments. You blush.
âOh, that. Sorry, I live with my two best friends and they wrote that as a joke,â you ramble as you click your heel shyly. âThey said it would help out with my, and I quote, âsecret admirers.ââ You let out a tired laugh as you finally build up the courage to look at the man standing right in front of you.
âTo be honest, that makes sense.â He tilts his head a bit, analyzing your eyes. âBeautiful girls should receive beautiful letters.â
Tongue tied, you stare back with a pleased smile.Â
âThis is so unlike me, but would you like to go out some time?â
Easiest question ever asked.
-
A few nights later, he finally decides it would be a good day to take you out to dinner. Testing went well and the car was finally on the right track. He took this as a good omen.
âHow long have you lived in Italy now?â you quiz, as you bring your Shirley Temple closer to your lips.
âOh, um, for quite a while now. I mean itâs really only for work. I go home any chance I get.â
âSweet. Where are you from?â
âMonaco.â
Your eyes grow wide with excitement. âReally! Monaco is so beautiful!â Your childlike squeal makes him smile brightly.
âHave you ever been?â You sadly shake your head, hair bouncing back and forth. Soft floral fills the air.
âNope, but I wish to one day. I just know Iâll love it so muchâŠâ You trail off. âItâs just that growing up my favorite movie was Monte Carlo. Would beg my mom to play it any chance I could.â Maroon coats your cheekbones. He furrows his dark brows in confusion.
âMonte Carlo? You know, starring Selena Gomez?â His soft features pinch together. â...Leighton Meester? Katie Cassidy?â You desperatelyspit your words, trying to assist. He continues shaking his head. Never heard of it.
Your mood grows sulky as you pout. Leaning back, you finally take a sip of your drink. Oh, well now I really want something stronger than this.
âI would love to watch it some time though!â Charles tries as his voice cracks. He winces.
âSure!â Though, you're not looking at him anymore. Your eyes are trained behind him. Heâs about to turn around and ask if youâre fine, when you finally speak up. âI think Iâll go to the bar for another drink. Be right back!â He huffs.Â
You werenât back for almost too long. Finally, deciding to go look for you, he stands and takes long strides all around the dark restaurant. When he finds you he sees youâre not alone.Â
A man in an all black suit seems to be your new company. You giggle as he appears to slide some type of business card to you. Just as you're about to grab it Charles strolls over to you both.
âIs your drink finally ready?â he asks as he wraps a protective arm around your waist. You flinch. You hadnât even seen him walk over.
âCharles!â you shriek, as you crumble the piece of paper into the palm of your hard, hurriedly. You pray that he hadnât noticed, but he had. Something inside of him told him not to ask. âI was actually on my way back. Did you need anything? A drink?â you ask, furrowing your brows attentively.Â
âNo, thank you, amour,â Charles warmly replies, looking into your glossy eyes. You truly were the best thing heâs ever laid eyes on.
âMy apologies for getting in the way.â The man extends his hand out to Charles. âAiden Quinn, pleasure to meet you.â
Charles may be upset that Aiden ruined his date, but he wasnât keen on being rude, so begrudgingly, he shook his hand. âCharles Leclerc.â See, normally Charles isnât the type to throw his name out like that expectantly, but he felt as if he had a point to make. He did, though. I was here first.Â
The man grins ear to ear, nodding. âYes, thatâs where I know you from. I knew you looked familiar. Formula 1 driver, right? Ferrari?â He points with a knowing smile.Â
âScuderiaâs number one driver, yes.â His grip around your waist stays secure. Meanwhile, your eyes are open to their fullest. Surprisingly, you had no idea.Â
âCertainly. Iâm one of the team's ambassadors, actually,â Aiden challenges. Charles clenches his jaw. âWhen you have million dollar businesses all around the world, you try to find a place to help. Ferrari really needs it at the moment.â Youâre equally as shocked with Aiden as you are with Charles.
âWell then, Iâll make sure to dedicate my next podium to you I suppose." You shift uncomfortably. This reminds him youâre there. With him. Ha! Take that, Quinn! âAnyhow, I would love to chit chat with fellow fans, but I must say we have to get going.â He holds your hand firmly as he leads you out.
âGoodbye, Aiden!â you beam as you depart ways.Â
-
âFormula 1 driver now, is it?â you curiously ask as you look over where he has one hand over the steering wheel and running the other calmly through his hair.Â
âThought you knew.â
âI had no clue! Zip!â you shriek as fling your arms through the air. He laughs as he pulls into an abandoned parking lot.Â
âIn the mood for something sweet?â
-
âGrazie mille,â the Monegasque says as he's handed cones of freshly made gelato. Smiling, he makes his way back to you. Hands you per requested raspberry, as he keeps his lemon one.Â
âMolto gentile.â You inspect and nod your head in approval. Just hearing your tongue curl in Italian has him swooning. You take a lick and release a soft moan. âSo sweet. Best Iâve ever had,â you declare as you continue enjoying your treat innocently.
Charles gulps, trying to cool down. âI told you it was the best.â He shoots a wink over to Luca, the owner, for keeping the shop open for a few more minutes.Â
âYou scared me a bit back there.â
âPfft. With that Aiden guyâŠIâm sorry about thatââ
âGod no. Honestly, I completely forgot about that,â you mutter. âI meant with that whole, âIn the mood for something sweet?â. Thought you were like the rest.â
The 25 year old keeps quiet for a minute. He gathers his thoughts before settling with, âI promise Iâm not.â
âKeeping my fingers crossed you arenât.â You look around with twinkling eyes. âYou know, a date I once had asked me-â
You want a slice?
No.
âIt shocked me how straight forward he was being. It wasnât even our second date! I barely even knew the guy.â You frown at the memory. âThen he blamed it on the tiramisu.â
I meant the tiramisu, guys!
God no.Â
âNever saw him again,â you finish as you finally focus back on him. A pale Charles is all you find.
âWoah, are you okay?âÂ
âYes! Iâm so good! You look lovely! Did I mention it already cause if I didnât then call me the worst date ever!â He begins nervously laughing. His gelato dripping all over his arm.
âI think you did.â You smile as you hand him a few napkins. He returns the gesture, thanking you. âAnd donât worry about it, leave that spot for Lando. Now he might take the crown.â
Charles let out a groan.
-
Charles went back and forth deciding whether he should reach out to you. He liked you. A lot. Nonetheless, he was hesitating because he just couldnât do something like that to Lando. The Brit was as bummed out as one could get. So, it's settled. Bye bye baby.
âOf course. Tonight at 8,â your voice confirms on the other side of the line. Charles celebrates with a quick dance.
âSee you then.â
-
He decides today that he wants to switch things up. Do something that would make him stand out from anyone that came before him.Â
âMonaco?â Leaning on the hood of Charles' car, you feel you have to be dreaming. He nods his head lively.
âI could show you around, yâknow be your personal tour guide.â
âYou should have warned me! I donât have anything ready!â you yelp as you hold your hands over your heart, frantically. He would be more worried if it werenât for you smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
âWe still have time. Come on, Iâll help you pack.â
-
When you make it to Monaco youâre greeted by a young guy wearing glasses, driving a Ferrari Pista. Charles and him fit in a quick embrace before they turn their attention back to you.
âAh yes, this is Joris. Heâs one of my closest friends,â Charles states as you warmly reach for a handshake.Â
Reciprocating, Joris says, âVery nice to meet you.â You smile, returning the greeting. âMust say, you are just as beautiful as Cha had mentioned, if not more.â You blush as Charles clears his throat awkwardly.
âD'accord, mec. Pas besoin de le dire au monde entier,â Charles mutters. âThank you for picking us up.â Joris nods, carrying your luggages. You share a quick goodbye before he finally makes his way to another car. âThatâs also one of my very good friends, Marta.â You smile and wave as they drive off.Â
Monaco definitely met your expectations. Everything just captivated your attention so much that you wouldnât be surprised if you started to drool.Â
âHoly shit. Your home is absolutely stunning!â you gasp. He wheels your bags in as he exhales.
âMerci. Make yourself at home.â
-
Thankfully, the flight was quick so you both have plenty of energy to go out for a late night snack. He takes you to his; Favorite place in the world! Youâll see.
A little stand sits in the corner of the street.Â
âLou makes one of the best crepes. Trust me, Iâve been a loyal customer since my school days.â
A little old lady is attending to customers, but stops as soon as she spots Charles. âCharlie! ChĂ©rie, je ne savais pas que tu Ă©tais de retour!â She makes her way around to hug him.
âDes projets de derniĂšre minute, mais j'ai juste envie de manger une de tes incroyables crĂȘpes,â he replies, as they pull away.
âAnd who is this pretty girl?â she questions as she looks at you, standing there patiently.
âOop, hello. Iâm a friend of Charles.â Lou smiles teasingly.
âCharlie, tu es lĂ pour me dire que tu vas te marier?â Lou suddenly looks over the moon.
âNon!â he quickly shouts, so suddenly, you and Lou both jump a bit. Tight lipped, he apologizes.
âLike she said, weâre just friends."
-
The next morning after breakfast he recommends you bring something you can swim with. Skipping your way to his room, which he is kindly sacrificing for you, you roam through your luggage until you find a baby blue bikini.Â
âYou donât get sea sick by any means, right?â He looks over at you with scrunched brows underneath a pair of glossy black Ray Bans. You shake your head.
âGreat.â
You make your way to a tiny boat before he helps you settle in. You grab his hand softly as you step into it. A single touch of electricity seems to link your fingertips. It catches you both so off guard that he lets go of you so swiftly, you donât even notice as you plunge into the water.
You let out a quick yelp before you go underwater and his hands fly to his head in embarrassment. You resurface with wet hair covering your face.
âOh my God, I am so sorry!â he apologizes before extending his arm out for you to grab. Pushing your hair out of your face, you giggle.Â
âItâs okay, I got it.â
Once you independently get on the boat, he unties the rope off the deck and takes a seat himself to drive you both to the unknown destination.
âPretty please, can I know now where weâre going?â you squeal with puppy eyes.Â
Lord help me, he thinks before replying. âWeâre going to a little island I love. Ăles de LĂ©rins.â You look ahead, nodding patiently. âItâs beautiful, youâll see.â
-
When you arrive itâs easy to understand that there doesnât seem to be that many people. You basically have the place to yourselves.
He helps you off, not dropping you this time. Thereâs a small trail you both begin to take. Itâs something peaceful, the moment youâre in. You almost wish to fit it into a snow globe.Â
âMy parents would always bring my brothers and I here all the time during summer when we were younger,â Charles confesses.
âYou have brothers?âÂ
He turns to look at you, then continues ahead. âYes. Two.â He kicks a rock out of his way, but something you didnât know was just how clumsy this man child could be.
âOuch!â you groan in pain as your hand flies up to your nose.
âJesus! Whatâs wrong with me today? Are you okay? Iâm so sorry!â He runs to you all panicky now.
You take it back. Break the goddamn snow globe.
You try tilting your head back to ease the blood pouring out your nose before he gently grips your face to gain your attention. You scrunch your eyes, sun suddenly blinding you. Quickly, he takes off his glasses and places them over your eyes. As you open them you notice heâs shirtless. He places his shirt on your nose to clean you up. You flinch a bit.
Instantly, youâre thankful for the sunglasses because wondering eyes were all you could give him. His lean muscles were just begging to be praised.Â
You shake your head before taking the Puma shirt from him. âThanks,â you mutter as you focus on a nearby tree. âStarting to think you might hate me or something.â
âOf course not... I could never hate you!â His voice cracks in nervousness. You snicker.
After a bit more wiping, you are as good as new. You both decide to take a dip while the water feels good. You strip from your Levi shorts and t-shirt. Dipping a toe to test the temperature, you shoot him two thumbs up.Â
The ocean feels so fresh and silky against your skin. You canât seem to remember the last time youâve enjoyed someoneâs company like this, even if they almost ruled you to the ends of Earth. Two fingers press against your neck. You spring one eye open and you see Charles biting down on his thumb. He relaxes.
âSorry, I thought you crossed the line to the afterlife.â
You tread water to stretch your legs out. âIâm fine.â
He takes this time to note things he hadnât paid attention to before. Like how your lashes pin against your skin since theyâre wet. Or how a tiny bit of freckles are sprinkled on your nose. He curses himself for not having seen it any sooner. Pretty was an understatement. You were extraordinary.Â
A few hours later you guys are back at his house sharing a pizza. Pepperoni, you both loved a classic.
âThereâs no bruise,â he points out almost proudly. You shoot a playful scowl. He walks over to the T.V. and clicks the remote. âMonte Carlo?â
He loved it, the way you said he would. He especially enjoyed watching how much you loved it.Â
âThis movie was too ahead of its time,â you confirm as you dig your feet under the blanket you had curled into.Â
âWell at least Grace and Theo got their happily ever after,â he pronounces. You shoot an impressed look. âWhat? I was listening.â You crawl up next to him and pat his cheek. His dimples pop out from how hard heâs smiling.Â
He canât help it the moment he reaches to cradle your face to press your lips together. He canât help but let a moan slip out when you finally kiss him back.Â
Finally, he picks you up to adjust you on his lap, which you comfortably settle into. You feel him underneath you so clearly you canât help but move your hips. He feels so good.
The heated moment continues as he wraps his hands around the curve of your ass. You pull away as your lips move down to his neck. He almost gasps the moment you lick down his throat. It doesnât help that youâve been keeping your hips in motion.Â
He almost passes out the moment your lips move to his ear and ask, no, beg; Let me taste you, please. How could he ever deny such offer?
Making your way down to your knees, he adjusts himself on the couch. He thinks to himself that if he were standing he wouldâve made a fool out of himself because just the sight of you in front of him has him choking on his own breath. You just look so pretty.
You tug his shorts down, along with his boxers, and bite down on your lip as you grab his cock, softly. He has to stop himself from jerking into your hand. Precum sprouting from his tip. You canât wait as you take kitten licks. Fuck, he whimpers. The sound of his voice makes you squeeze your thighs together.
Wrapping your lips around him, your hands reach to balance yourself against his thighs. You moan at the feeling of having him inside your mouth, drooling all over his lap.
This itself, is too much for Charles and thinks heâll barely even be able to survive as his head turns against the couch' pillow with closed lids. You start bobbing your head and one hand flings down to jerk off what you canât reach. He groans at the feeling.Â
You start off slow but suddenly start picking up your pace. He opens his eyes, dazed, to catch a glimpse of you on your knees and this sight is something he wonât be able to forget even if he tried. With glassy eyes, you look up at him. You make a show of releasing your lips from his cock as you lap your tongue along it. Before going back at it, you twirl your tongue a couple of times around his tip before giving it a quick suck, then deep throat him.Â
He grits his teeth as if to help deal with any of this but when you start toying with yourself he lets out the loudest whine heâs ever produced. You look up smiling, grazing your teeth lightly along him and he hisses at the feeling. Proudly, you fit him back into your mouth.Â
âGod, your mouth feels so fucking good,â he manages to get out before you solely start jerking him off.
âWhat about my hands?â you seductively tease. The sounds coming from both your hands and his cock should be considered a sin itself. He groans as he looks back to make eye contact with you.
âYour hands too, baby.â
He knows heâs close the moment you twist your wrist perfectly. So so good. You know heâs close when he begins to twitch underneath your fingertips.Â
âIâm gonna cum, Iâm gonna cum,â he chants as you continue your dirty movements. He makes sure to look at you, focused, eyes drawn to his cock.
âCum for me, Charles,â you coo as he finally bucks his hips into your hands and hot cum shoots all over your face. You wickedly smile as your lips reach his cock to continue swallowing the rest that is being released. He grabs you face to pull you off him and hauls you once again onto his lap. Heâs about to kiss you before you pull away and point at the mess on your face.Â
You wipe two fingers along your face and bring them to your mouth to clean them off. A pop is released when you let go. He shudders.Â
This is the moment, Charles realizes, heâs so screwed.
-
When you make it back to Italy you realize that all youâll have are a few fleeting moments together. With Charles going back to racing and you continuing your online classes, youâre both bound to be booked.
Though, Charles just isnât ready to let you go. And a fucked up man will make fucked up choices when due.
So, he strings you along with him to the Miami GP. He realizes thereâs a strong chance you might bump shoulders with Lando, but to be completely honest, he was past caring. He was completely smitten with you.
-
You wear your white summer dress as you are sprawled on his hotel bed. Youâre a mess.
âShit, shit, shit,â you whimper as Charles fingers slip in and out of you. Heâs feverishly kissing down the side of your thighs, bites left in between. You groan in slight pain as you tug on his soft hair. This man has brought out the moon and stars, for you.
âCâmon baby, look at me,â he whispers as he paints you with hickeys in between your legs. Somewhere no one else will ever be able to catch a glimpse of. You nod your head as you look down to find him gripping your dress over your thighs, eating you out like a starved man. You shut your eyes as you release a few soft pants, the heels of your feet press deeper against his Ferrari polo.
âOpen youâre eyes.â
You shake your head. You wish you could look at him, you really wanted to, but itâs just too much take in. You wanted to make this last.
But Charles was greedy. He wanted to taste you. He stops everything all at once. You let out a cry. Fuck him.
You bring your arms around his neck, loosely, as he kisses your shoulder. âWhyâd you stop?â
âYou werenât looking at me.â
With all your strength you open your glittered eyelids.Â
âThatâs a good girl,â he coos as he picks you up and sits you at the edge of the bed. You look down at him confused as he gets on his knees in front of you.
âIf you canât look at me, then youâre going to have to look at yourself,â he directs as he begins to push your dress back up your waist. You lean against your elbows as you realize what other than Charles is in front of you.
A shiny glass mirror.
With a slightly open mouth youâre about to protest before Charles picks up right where he left off. He spits on your clit before rubbing it. You bite down on your bottom lip so hard, you draw blood.Â
âDonât tell me I have to get you to moan now?â Charles stares at you with furrowed brows. You shake your head no before he kisses your knee. âGood.â
He makes sure you look straight at your reflection before he curls his fingers inside of you. You mewl at the touch. Your legs beg to bring him closer.
He lets out a light chuckle before repeating his motion. With sleepy eyes, you stare at the way your legs rest against his shoulders. You had painted your nails bloody mary a few nights before, in support of him and his team. Your face all fucked up singly by Charlesâ long fingers and delicate touch, red lipstick all over your mouth from how heavy your make out with Charles had been.
To him, you looked like an angel.Â
You squeal as he presses his nose against your pussy. You grind against his face. He pulls away and you whine, looking at him desperately.
âHey, hey, itâs okay. Youâre okay,â he reassures you as he moves up to kiss your cheek and then your pouty lips.Â
âCha, please,â you beg hopelessly. He grins as he pushes your hair out of your face and runs his thumb across your lips trying to clean you up a bit.
You take a chance and wrap your lips around his finger, and you begin to suck. Expertly, you swirl your tongue. Eyes look back at him, almost challenging. He lets out a strained groan.
With all the willpower he has left, he removes his finger from your mouth. Nicely wet, he presses it back where you needed him the most.
âThank you, baby, you shouldnât have.â You cry out at the sudden size of his thumb now being inside of you. He switches out his thumb for his middle and ring finger. You throw your head back. All the back and forth almost has you blacking out a few times. Charles gives you a quick peck, fingers building speed, as he pulls your dress down a bit to release your plump tits.
Now heâs at a loss for words. Quickly, he regains his composure and starts sucking on your left nipple, legs squeezing around his waist as a reflex. One hand flies to the back of his head as one makes its way to cup his cheek adoringly.
He moans against you, sucking hard before moving his attention to your right nipple. The way youâre wailing against him has him painfully hard against his jeans.
âYes, God yes right there, Charlie,â you let out as you grind against his hand. He detaches his lips from your chest as he smiles up at you.Â
âIâm right here, baby. Cum for me, yeah?â You let out the most pornographic moan as you finish around his hand. Tears make their way down your cheeks. Cleans his fingers, he shuts his eyes satisfied, before he towers over your body, pressing kisses all over.
You giggle. âThat tickles." The 25 year oldâs heart doubles in size at the sound of your fucked out voice.Â
âWhy donât we get you cleaned up before the race?â
-
The race results weren't the best Charles has had, thatâs for sure. Head hung, he makes his way to his motorhome. There he finds you on the tiny little bed, curled up, watching the rest of the ongoing interviews. As soon as you notice him you jump up to your feet and walk to him.
It's almost as if you knew how down he was feeling when you wrap your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his chest. He instantly feels better as his arms swaddle over your shoulders, chin atop your pretty hair.
âYou did good,â you mumble. You press a faint kiss on his suit before looking up.
âI fucked up. I got P7.â
You frown at him before holding his face between your soft palms. âP7 is good, what do you mean?â He just shakes his head. âYouâve never heard of seven being a lucky number?â
He scoffs, but not at you, never you. More at himself. âLucky?â
You pull away and sit back on his bed. âOh yeah, seven bring all the luck in the world!â you squeal, as you plop on the bed. He laughs lightly as he lies beside you.
âGuess Iâll just take your word for it.â He hums with his eyes closed.
You turn on your side as you try to memorize his face. Like the small mole that sits on the left side of his face that makes him even more handsome, if anyone asks for your opinion. You scold yourself for not having noticed it before. As if to fix things, you name it one of your favorite things about him.
âYou should. Things will get better, youâll see.â
For once, he really believes it.
-
You both are walking out of the Ferrari home when you're suddenly stopped by someone calling Charlesâ name.Â
âHey, Charles! Great race man!â A familiar voice rings through the air before you both have a chance to turn around. Both you and Charles, unknowingly of one another, want to make a run for it.
âThanks, Lando,â Charles replies as he prays he might not notice you. But a girl as beautiful as you canât go forgotten.
âHoly shit itâs you!â Lando wails as he instantly recognizes you from dinner a few months ago. You cringe. What the chances?
âHi,â you squeak as you hide behind Charles a bit. You had no idea Lando was a Formula 1 driver too. You ought to do your research better next time.
âMate! This is the chick I was telling you about over dinner last time!â Lando says, eyes almost popping out of his face from the shock heâs in.
âYou donât sayyyy.â Charles tries to hide it, though inside heâs freaking out as if heâs broken every FIA rule in the book.
âHey, I want to say sorry for that night, I should have been more clear,â Lando begins to spill his apologies, as all you can do is silently stand there, accepting them all.
âOf course. Long forgotten,â you comfort the Brit. Heâs actually a pretty sweet guy.Â
âCharles, Iâll wait for you outside, alright?â you utter as he nods. Once you walk out, he turns to Lando frantically.
âIâm sorry, I didnât know that was the same girl you were upset about!â he tells him. Liar. âYou must be mad at me and I get it-â
âNope.â
Charles stares back, caught off guard by Landoâs response.Â
âYouâre not?âÂ
Lando rolls his eyes. âIâm not. I just hope you realize what sheâs capable of.â He leans in closer to Charlesâ ear and Charles leans in too, expectantly. âIâve heard stories, manâŠâ
Charles immediately pulls away. âOkay, weâre done here. Bye mate!â
âDonât say I didnât warn you!â
But Charles knew you better. He saw the way you looked at him. The way you felt. You were different. Fuck your following reputation.
âReady?âÂ
-
When you got back from Miami, something had shifted. He couldnât quite name the moment it had, but he was sure of it. He didnât care though. He would put up with just about anything as long as that meant having you around.
âAnd then he told me to test the car again, said it was fixed. Fixed my ass!â Charles tells you over FaceTime. You were sitting in your bedroom, painting nonsense on a canvas. You wore some old overalls with loose space buns. Strands of hair would hit the paint from how messy it was.
âNo way,â you say, not looking up. Charles smiles fondly.
âYou look lovely by the way.â Though, you donât seem to catch his affirmation for you. Your eyes are focused on something out of frame, in front of you. A quick smirk appears on your face but slips so fast that he almost begins to think heâs imagined it.
âThank you, Charles,â you reply with a much bigger smile now. âHey, how about I meet you at your house at 9? Iâll cook you a nice meal, promise.â
Like always, he knows he shouldnât ask and also knows he canât say no to you.
âIâll be waiting.â
-
That night when you step into his house he notices things he wishes werenât there. Like how your hair was a tad bit messy or how there were light bruises on your neck. He knows those didnât come from him. Heâd always been mindful to mark you in places no one else could admire, just him. Something bugs him knowing someone has seen them already.
âIâm so sorry Iâm late." You rush in with bags from the nearby market, the one just around the corner from his flat.
âNo worries. So, what will we be cooking, my little chef?â
That night you seem so infatuated by him, he truly thinks this all was his imagination. Maybe the wind blew your hair on your way here; he should have offered to pick you up. Maybe he forgot he had also marked your neck; heâll make sure to be more careful next time.
He wraps his arms around your waist as you cut pieces of basil. Giggling, you turn around to peck his lips. Craving more from you, he lifts you up onto the kitchen island. He stands in between your legs as you stare up at him, ever a vixen.
As you lock lips, he picks you up, you yelp all giddy. He makes his way over to his bedroom, your lips lingering on his neck, he almost drops you from how good it feels.
âCareful, donât need another wack in the face,â you mumble from his neck, light spirited. He rolls his eyes at your comment, but yeah, he should probably focus.Â
Finally reaching his room, he kicks the door open so hard, it flies and instantly makes a hole through the wall. You gasp as he groans.
âFuck it, itâs fine,â he murmurs as he takes you to his bed where he drops you. You giggle as your hair covers your face, he makes his way to hover over you and brush it away.
âYou know I would do anything for you?â he asks, tenderness lacing his voice.
You stare back at him with bright and eager eyes. âYeah. I know.â
He smiles as he leans down to kiss you and you instantly melt into the mattress beneath you. He kisses you so fast, so hot, that it has you feeling lightheaded. Iâve been kissed before but never, ever, like this, you think as he slips his tongue as a quick trick. You moan with pleasure. He smiles into the kiss.Â
He picks his head up to get a good look at the angel the universe had ever so nicely sent his way. He caresses you gingerly. âAre you sure, chĂ©rie?â
You nod up and down eagerly, ready for more heâs willing to give. You are so desperate you would gladly take anything as long as it's from him. A flash of sadness strikes your face before itâs replaced with a warm smile.Â
âWe donât have to do anything if you donât want to,â he comforts you as he begins to take a step back. You quickly hold onto his veiny arm.Â
âI want to,â you confirm. You bring him back to you as you kiss him for the millionth time that night. Even that would never be enough.Â
His hands make their way to slip your dress off. Once you're left in your matching lingerie, you push him on his back and straddle him.
âHoly shit,â he nervously laughs as you started to unbutton his linen shirt. He pulls his arm out as you sloppily brush your lips down his smooth chest, fingers tracing his firm abs. Then, as youâre about to pull his pants down, he grabs your hands firmly. You glance at him, confusion written all over your face.
âLadies first,â he teases. You roll your eyes, but still slip out a quick, okay, before settling under him once again. He kisses down your neck gently as you hum out, finding peace with his lips hovering your body. Every new kiss he places on your soft skin makes you feel thousands of butterflies. Youâd never experienced something like this before, youâve never felt so flawless.Â
Clumsy fingers roam your back as he unclips your bra then strips you from your panties. Seeing you completely bare has his dumbstruck. This is something he could easily get used to.Â
His hands make their way to squeeze your tits, your head digs deeper into the mattress as you release a soft whimpers. Charles grows harder by the second, already getting rid of the rest of his clothes as quickly as he can.
He tugs you closer to him by your legs. A laugh rolls past your lips. Resting both arms by either side of your head, he pushes into you. Synchronously, you both let out a moan. You dig your nails into his shoulder as he grips onto the sheets.Â
You feel so tight around him that it takes all of him not to lose control. You throw your arm over your face, face scrunched.
Putting his feelings aside, Charles leans down and plants a kiss on your arm. âCâmon baby, not again. Look at me.â
âI canâtâŠ,â you cry out weakly, â...too big.â
âYou just have to adjust,â he reassures you as he begins to move in and out of you. Your arms fly up to his neck and you grab on tight, as if heâs keeping you ashore. You moan loudly.
âThatâs it, baby,â he whispers as he thrusts deep inside of you. Your velvety walls feel like home to him and he never wants to leave.Â
You squirm when his cock hits your sweet spot. You yell into the nothingness and your grip on his hair tightens so much, he groans at the sensation. His hips pick up speed, and suddenly, heâs kissing you again. You whine into his lips, needy for more. Harder.Â
As if he could read your mind, that's exactly what he does. Your lips form a silent O as you stare at him with eyebrows drawn together. He just feel so fucking good.
âFuck baby,â he groans, voice deep. You shiver at the sound. âGod, you feel so good, youâre doing so good,â he praises you as he now looks into your eyes. You wail in response, too fucked up to form any kind of sentence.
âI love you so much,â he announces so suddenly, you almost push him away. He keeps moving rapidly as he makes out with you eagerly.
As you kiss him back you realize something scary; you love Charles Leclerc. You think youâve loved him for a while now, but having never been in love, you didnât seem to notice the feeling. But you do now.
âI love you, too,â you murmur against his lips. When he pulls away you notice youâve never seen him smile so big. You like being the reason behind it.
He immediately pounds into you harder, not holding back anymore and youâre both a mess. You moan so loud, youâre almost embarrassed but Charles seems to love it.
âIf you love me,â he pants, âthen tell me his name.â
He continues normally, but you swear you feel your heart stop. Thereâs no way.
âWhat are you talking about?â you manage to spit out, but the way heâs handling your body has you seeing stars.
âPlease,â a desperate look flashes across his face, âjust tell me his name.â His watch covered hand makes its way to your clit and he pushes his finger against it. God, his fingers are so-
âThereâs no one.â Liar. âThereâs just you.â
With that, you flip him over so now youâre on top of him. Hastily, you start to ride him, making sure to move your hips just the way he likes it. His head falls back against the bed frame as his fingers dig into your hips. You bite your swollen lips in slight pain, but also, just by looking at his current state.
Cheeks slightly pink with sweaty hair covering his face. Long disheveled hair that you pressed him not to trim quite yet. What a sight for sore eyes.
âPlease,â he chokes out, âjust tell me his name and I swear Iâll never bring it up again.â He opens his eyes to look up at you. His voice hitches when he sees you hopping on his dick, tits bouncing up and down. You throw your head back and circle your hips much harder.
âFuck.â Charles gasps as he reaches up to attach his lips to your chest. He licks before softly biting down against your bud. You exhale sharply. He then lays back and holds onto your hips harder before helping you move on top of him. Wrapped around him, the motion between both of you picks up so fast you start shaking your head no.
âYes, amour, say it. Please just tell me before I lose my fucking mind,â he grunts as he stares down at your juices as they make the filthiest sound against his own.Â
âI swear Charles, I promise, that I have never loved anyone the way I do you,â you confess as you sink your nails against his chest, red marks instantly mapping themselves down.
âBeautiful fucking liar.â Charles smirks as he moves his fingers against your clit rapidly. With that, your walls clench around him as you cum so hard around him he canât help but follow. You moan loudly as you fall against his chest as he groans lowly.Â
Trying to even your breathing, you grab onto his hand. Instantly, he brings it up against his lips. Just the touch of his makes you want to ride him until you canât no more.Â
You meant what you said that night. Though you both should have known better. Being naive canât always last forever.
-
âThen she left a note saying itâs best we just remain friends,â Charles reveals a few nights later over dinner. Everyone shares glances of empathy to the distraught Monegasque. Even Lando.
âItâs alright man, youâll be over her before you know it,â Lando states as he shares a knowing smile. Charles bites down on his tongue knowing all this pent of anger wasnât towards Lando. Not even for you.Â
He would like to say that he learned his lesson and that he should have listened to everyone, all the warning signs that glowed above his head. But he knows damn well he would do it all over again if given the chance. He would say, do anything, to change your mind. To make you stay, but people like you never settled.Â
Moping, Charles changes the topic as he begins asking how everyoneâs break was. He didnât really care, but he tried to pretend.Â
Out of breath, Oscar rushes over to the table. âSorry Iâm late,â he says as he sits down in between Lando and Charles.
âNo worries, mate, Charles was just filling us in on his expired love life,â Daniel fills in, nonchalantly. Charles immediately shoots a dry frown. Daniel shares an apologetic shrug.
âOh. That sucks man,â the young Australian replies as he gulps down some water. âSpeaking of love lives, you guys wonât believe it! I just met the prettiest girl of my entire life just now outside of the restaurant!â
#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#f1 x reader#f1#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc imagines#f1 imagine
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I think despite how well he plays himself off all the time, Dazai still has depressive episodes sometimes when he's alone. Imagine coming home early and catching him in such a vulnerable state. Fuck him nice and sweet- show him how much you love him despite everything -đŠ
Yk what, this will be the second part of that maid dazai fic. And Iâll make it sweet enough that you get a stomachache. Also- @amo-bsd
Part one!
Dom!reader x sub!dazai - reader is gender neutral
Warning: pegging (can be read as a dick), teasing, praise kink, marking - hickeys, handjob, dacryphilia, role play, lingerie
âYou want me to defile you?â A low voice so hypnotising it send shivers down his spine echoed through the room. His gaze showed absolut devotion, legs spread on the couch just the way you wanted. ââŠyes, please.â The brunette gasped, his left hand helping you hold his skirt up while his right one reached behind him. The way his chest heaved with each breath, lips trembling whenever he had to part them, made you go crazy about him. With a single tug, he opened the tie of his apron, making space for you. You rubbed his entrance again, gently tapping it. That was all it took to make him squirm and shut his eyes due to ecstasy. âUh-uhHhm..!â Dazai whined through gritted teeth, the blush that was spreading across his cheeks intensified. His puffy hole kept clenching whenever you touched him, and loosening up once your digits leave.
âLook at how sensitive you are,â You commented while leaning closer towards him, face now inches away from his. âHa-haah.. if you know then stop teasing me.â He tried to stand his ground, noticing you brought the end of his dress near him. Afterwards you uttered a single command, âBite onto this.â Normally he would have talked back and made a scene, though for now he decided to be obedient. This surprised you a little, yet it wasnât a bad feeling. Guess your dear lover can be good at times? Carefully, he bit the fabric, after a little while it was soaked with his saliva already. âGood boy.â You cooed when you saw this cute scene, kissing his forehead while your weaker hand slipped to his waist.
His brows were furrowed, eyes half lidded as he watched your demonstrations. Fingers leaving his bottom and now teasing his tip. A milky, sticky liquid stuck to the latex glove. The more you rubbed over his soaked panties, the darker the spot got. Now you were smirking sweetly, whispering playfully âyou are getting so wet for me.â After you finished your sentence, you could swear more precum spurt out of his slit. Did that comment embarrass him? His tender and slim body trembled ever so slightly, eyes sparkling and begging you to do more. âHow adorable.â You added, before licking his earlobe.
The boy jerked, hands clutching the dress to hold it up higher. Then he closed his eyes, clenching them tightly enough for a single tear to run down his cheek. Mind racing and heart pounding while your hand kept playing with his dick. âHmm..hngh..â soft whimpers left him, and his eyes became watery, more tears were about to spill. Slowly you changed from his ear to his neck, kissing and sucking on multiple spots. Leaving a trail of marks behind. Only a few minutes later the red spots build, proof of your claim over him. The beautiful hickeys you left behind encouraged you to go further, the hand on his waist now slipped to his thighs. You rubbed his tip a little longer, until your fingers were coated with his precum entirely, then you moved on to his entrance again.
Soft and sweet moan filled the room, all muffled through a thin fabric. Your fingertips tapped his entrance again, the white fluid now stuck to his rim too. He gasped, watching you play with his body as you pleased. Then you said, âyou are doing so well for me, my love,â while staring at him with loving eyes. Dazai didnât know what to do in that situation, so he averted his gaze. You smirked at the sudden shyness from the male, before sticked a finger inside him. âMhmm! Nghh.â He wines, eyes widening as he let out some more lewd noises. In the meantime you worked him open, a second finger followed soon. âSo good for me, my pretty boy.â At the sound of that compliment, he dick twitched inside his panties. Why were your words so addicting? They were so sweet, it made him feel weird and warm. As if he was a small, weak and precious thing that deserved any of this. Though one question lingered in the back of his mind, was he truly deserving of this?
His tears finally spilled, hands quivering while pleasure coursed through him. Suddenly you raised his leg and brought it over your shoulder, grinning the entire time as you did that. The black laced thigh highs he wore were beyond attractive, enough to make you feel butterflies. âY/n.. nHhh, mh- please..â he managed to breath out through gritted teeth. You just kept smiling while you rubbed your fingers against his soft and warm insides, admiring how beautiful he looked right now. âAhh! Oh-ohhh..it feels good.â The brunette groaned and stopped biting the dress, but his hands were still holding it up. Instead of punishing him, you just let it be, you loved hearing him talk anyway.
Wet and lewd squelching sounds left whenever you trusted your fingers inside him, followed by a fierce jerk from the male. Heâd arch his back and whine about wanting more. âSo cute, I love you my dear.â You chuckled, before you took your fingers out. Sticky strings were connecting the glove to his insides. âReally adorable..â this time you muttered under your breath, staring at his vulnerable state with focused eyes. His lips shook, eyes half lidded, brows furrowed while a deep crimson blush spread across his features. Not to mention how perverted this position was. It exposed all of his shameful parts, as well as his most sensitive spots.
The way his thrust his hips indicated how he wanted more, a disappointed whine left him, a plead for more of this bliss he was feeling. His entrance clenched shut immediately, and the sticky liquid dripped down his tender skin. âYou look so beautiful right now.â You praised him, and it made his dick twitch. Then you lined your own one up with his hole after finishing preparing everything, and pressed the tip against him. âTell me if it hurts, alright?â Even though you whispered that into his ear, he couldnât register most of your words. His eyes were glued to your length, anticipation filling him as he thought about taking you. Lips pressed shut and gaze eagerly waiting for you to fill him up. You also noticed how his rim kept loosening and clenching, as if his body was begging for you.
With a swift motion, you started putting it in. Only the tip alone was enough to make him into a mess, eyes rolling back as a storm of moans escaped his throat. âAhh!! Ngh hmMM! Oh- y/N~moreee.. hahh, ple-please..!!â Dazai spout, spitting one nonsense after another. His tongue rolled out while you carefully bottomed out inside him. He tried his best to resist the urge to cum right there right now, especially after feeling it hit against his innermost parts. There was no helping it, it was just so deep inside him! You hugged him again, causing his leg to be raised to his chest. A dumbfounded look was on the boyâs face, and so you explained. âLay back and enjoy this, alright?â
And you bet he did. When you started moving, all he could think about was you. He couldnât move an inch while your member continued going in and out of him, so gently and slow, but hard enough to make him see stars. Each time you hit it against his sweet spot heâd cry out, panting and whimpering in delight. âAh.. ah, uhhh, ahh, y/n- master..!â even now he is still calling you that, but you didnât mind. After all, he was your good boy, your one and only love, your adorable pet. You kissed his lips, all while pounding inside him with a steady rhythm. Why was this so stimulating? Was what dazai thought. You werenât being really fast or excessively rough, so why did it feel so damn good?
His heart felt like exploding whenever you calling him by some cute pet names, or even his own name. Sensations strong enough to wipe any thoughts off his mind kept gushing inside him, coursing through his veins and taking him to paradise. When you broke the kiss, he didnât even notice how he chased after your lips. Still sobbing and crying while begging you for more, wanting to feel more of your touch, more of your voice, more of you. It was warm, it felt really hot inside him. There was no way to describe this other than lust, it must be because you are so skilled..! Thatâs why whenever you call him cute names he feels himself edging closer to the edge, thatâs why your touch always ignites a fire within him, thatâs why he always feels so happy when with you.
âAhh.. I love you, y/nn..â he called out to you again, smiling sweetly while being held in your arms. âI really do..â
REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED
#sub character#sub!character#dom reader#dom!reader#đŠ anon#sub bsd#sub bungou stray dogs#sub dazai osamu#sub dazai#dazai smut#dazai osamu x reader#dazai bungou stray dogs#dazai bsd#dazai#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#đ anon
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all im saying is âšLogan with a knotâš and Wade overstimulating you bc you cant get away -đŠ
shrimp anon more like shrimp COLORS bro your vision is INSANE!!!!!!
soooo idk conventional a/b/o rules and i kinda don't care so im picturing a heat cycle as once a month endeavour. and bc you're on T you're a HORNY motherfucker and you're angry and violent so it's basically whoever can get their hands on you or knot in you first will take care of you. then as long as you get bred at least once you're fine. then you calm down and it's big aftercare hours bc your post-heat clarity endorphins are going CRAZY
now since your heat only comes once a month, wade treats it as a special occasion. and it wouldn't be fair of him to do the honors EVERY month, now would it?
so even though he's home with you, and logan's not, and won't be for a while, wade wilson will refuse to fuck you. it's not his turn. he did it last month.
and your heat is MISERABLE. imagine the worst period cramp you ever had, combined with hot flashes, searing rage, and it gives your cunt the sensitivity of a fucking bear trap. you'll clamp down on anything that touches you.
so no matter how much you suffer. no matter if you scream, cry, beg, grovel, bite, or commit acts of gratuitous violence against him.
he will hold out.
he will hold out until logan gets home and finds you naked, cuffed to the bed by your hands and ankles, a chewy ball-gag in your mouth getting crushed by your gritting teeth, and wade's holding a wand vibrator to your cunt.
he waves gayly at logan, "hey pinkie pie, merry christmas! wanna come open your gift?"
"jesus christ, are you fucking torturing him?! the hell is wrong with you?!"
"with ME?! where's your holiday spirit?"
logan just stares at him blankly, puzzled by what this psychotic dipshit could possibly be talking about. in response, and in the spirit of the season, wade sings him a song.
"đŒit's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime, of the mooonth~!đ”"
now he gets it.
"oh... okay. so then why did you tie him down like that?"
"well, we had a little INCIDENT earlier..."
--
you had managed to grab one of wade's guns and shot him in the chest
"OW!!! you RESOURCEFUL little shit!!! GRRR, oh~ mysweetboybabydarling i'msoproudofyou, butnoi'mnot, BAD BOY!!!"
--
"no, i mean why didn't you take care of him your-fucking-self, wilson? you really gotta make this my problem as soon as i walk in the fuckin' door?"
"your PROBLEM?! i hand you some prime-time, limited-edition, hot and bothered, ripe for the breeding, tranny boy BUSSY on a silver platter, and that's somehow NOT where your dick wants to spend its evening? am i hearing that right? please tell me i'm not. please tell me you're not this stupid, pookie bear."
instead of arguing back, logan goes quiet. he's thinking. and then, he laughs. that low, husky laugh that you have when you're marveling at the nerve of whatever dumb motherfucker is talking to you. or maybe, when that dumb motherfucker is making a point.
"heh... y'know what? fine." logan angrily strips his clothes off, one by one. his tanktop, "you want me to be the one to knot him? huh?" his belt, his jeans "can't do anything yourself, can ya?" and lastly, his boxers. then he grabs his cock and shakes it at wade.
"so then get me hard, you faggot." he clicks his tongue twice. "c'mon."
wade throws himself at logan's knees and gives him that gawkgawk4000turbotyphoon treatment to get him up. logan sighs in relaxation, grateful that wade was putting his mouth to such better use. once his eyes flutter open, he nods at you, finally giving you even a modicum of attention while you're under intense distress, and he merely waves at you nonchalantly, like how a pedestrian does to a car that lets him cross.
"hang tight, bub. be with ya in a second."
wade works him over until his knot is just barely starting to swell. he then takes his fattened cock and slaps wade across the face with it.
"take his chains off."
"hm... are you sure you want me to do that, princess? he's feisty, y'know. might get yourself bit, if you're not careful."
logan slaps wade again, but this time it's a bitchslap, using the back of his hand. and his claws.
"take. his fucking. chains off."
"mmm, right AWAY, your majesty~!"
#anon#ask#đŠ#deadpool x reader#deadpool smut#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x ftm reader#deadpool x reader x wolverine#deadpool x you#deadpool x trans reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine x trans reader#wolverine x you#wolverine x ftm reader#poly deadclaws#poly poolverine
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