#befriend me enby folks !!

[starrjournals]

HIIII!!! I’ve decided i’m nonbinary guys!!! i’ve known for a while but just like put it off for another time (mood) but yea i’ll still be going by she/her but i’m adding they/them!!! how exciting it is to learn more about yourself!!! so yea friends my pronouns are she/they. i know later it’ll only be they/them but for now i am good. it feels really nice to be able to say that. i’ve never really felt in the binary my whole life and never knew that being non-binary was an option growing up until recently tbh. i’m glad i’m able to learn this about myself and i can’t wait to learn more!! thank u for reading, i love u!!

[genderqueerdykes]

whats your banner about? /genq btw cuz i personally havent seen anything abt that so if u could fill me in on it id appreciate that

/not forced to answer, im just curious abt it

hey sure i'm happy to elaborate!

it's in response to the amount of folks who deem it okay to refuse to let transmascs and men into non binary and queer spaces because mascs and men "scare women and enbies" or are "unsafe to be around" or even "look too cis and make people uncomfortable". i've seen a massive pushback lately to completely and totally remove transmascs and men from the queer community because men are "dangerous". the same hatred and vitriol that people have for cishet men is being applied to trans men. ESPECIALLY straight trans men. straight trans men are treated like absolute shit and are labeled as dangerous and predatory.

i've also had the unfortunate displeasure of overhearing MANY queer folks that trans men aren't queer or trans, we're just "confused" or "butch lesbians". like i have heard this from other trans people. it's an unfortunate reality that some people literally refuse to see trans men and mascs as queer, because for some reason people view queerness as feminine or gender neutral only. i've literally heard people say that trans men can't call ourselves trannies because we're not trans. like i have seriously been told by numerous people that trans men AREN'T trans, and that "that's not what being trans means." i've met so many people who think the only way to be trans is transfem and it's been painful

i've unfortunately befriended several transfems who would gladly go on tirades and rants about how transmascs and men bring a "bad light" to the community, that trans men and mascs are insufferable and dangerous to be around because testosterone can "turn you into a monster," and i've even been told that i'm ruining my body. i've been told that people don't view me as trans because nobody WANTS to be a man for anything but nefarious reasons. many people say that trans men want to be men so they can engage in the patriarchy and oppress other people. i've been told by some people that they believed i transitioned so i could "have more power"

i got tired of seeing people think it's okay to ostracize trans men because they have trauma they need to work on. people blame the entirety of men and manhood on their problems, and project it on to trans men. it's sad and insidious. i've heard from SO MANY trans mascs and men who literally just do not feel comfortable in any queer spaces they try to attend because of how ostracized they feel, or how people would bully them and tell them they were just a confused butch lesbian, tomboy, or masculine girl.

hope that made sense to you! some people have really charged and heated opinions about trans men and mascs and if we belong in the queer community. i got sick of it. femininity, womanhood and gender neutrality are not the only ways to be queer

[ribbytherabbit]

MY INTRO! (if anyone cares)

⊱ ──────────── {.⋅ ✮ ⋅.} ─────────── ⊰

BASICS!

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 name . ٭┆ribby, nny, lain or xia!

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 pronouns . ٭┆he/they/peck/paw/fluff/glam

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 sexuality . ٭┆gay and abrosexual

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 gender . ٭┆enby trans (ftm)

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 what am I? . ٭┆an artist and a to-be character designer!

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 ethnicity . ٭┆turkish-bulgarian

⊱ ──────────── {.⋅ ✮ ⋅.} ─────────── ⊰

INTERESTS!

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 favorite shows/series . ٭┆TAWOG, Woody woodpecker, spookiz, invader zim, Looney tunes, puella madoka magica, TADC, captain underpants: the series, panty and stocking, pjmasks

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 favorite games . ٭┆ franbow, tattletail, fnaf, my friendly neighborhood, baldi's basic, Amanda the adventurer(?),

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 favorite bands/singers. ٭┆X-ray spex (and poly styrene in general), my chemical romance, will wood, DAgames, MotherMother, Kyle Allen's music, Alex Brightman, MASA works DESIGN (I don't support MASA btw!!), ect

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 other interests . ٭┆welcome home, Japanese horror and urban legends, lost media, scene fashion, the 2000s, Trevor Henderson's art, Milkkirie, Lacey's games, ride the cyclone, heathers, musicals, characters design, horror, essay/rant videos, making ocs, ocXcanon, ihnmaims, Beetlejuice, ect

⏤͟͟͞͞ 𖤐 favorite characters . ٭┆mr. Small (MY MAIN HUSBAND <33), Dib, AM, zim, kongkong, Rachel, GIR, gumball, Tobias, Wally darling, JuneBug, Melvin sneedly, zizi, An yu, Romeo, FranBow, madoka, funtime Freddy, Jax, cartoon cat, Rose, Beetlejuice, Lydia, ect, ect!!

⊱ ──────────── {.⋅ ✮ ⋅.} ─────────── ⊰

BOUNDARIES!

Please use tonetags around me, when I say no I mean it, don't get into arguments with me for no reason, respect me and Ill respect you, try explaining things to me clearly, if my tone changes towards you this mean I don't trust you/dislike you/you're just a stranger to me, if I get comfortable around you and you feel weirded out please tell me

BYI!

I tend to struggle with keeping my friends, I can sometimes make NSFW jokes and if that makes you uncomfy please tell me, I use emoticon like "^_^" ":3" "XD" ect, I tend to overthink alot, I am a minor, I am an undiagnosed Neurodivergent (but did tons of research), if my interests or existence bother you.. Just ignore me-, I get overwhelm easily sometimes, I'm sometimes bad at conversations sometimes, don't be afraid to befriend me!! ^^

⊱ ──────────── {.⋅ ✮ ⋅.} ─────────── ⊰

BIO!

Hello, I'm ribby! As in what people call me usually lol- I'm a young cartoonist, and welcome to my page! XD i love making ocs, fanart and just drawing in general. I wanna grow my page to find more folks! I'm pretty cringe but hey.. Atleast I'm free! did I mention I also have like 4 husbands?? 😈😈 (one of them is my friend's oc..LOL) and oh.. Im making a few projects! I'll be showing them here, if I can.. :3

[questioning-culture-is]

hey so I think, or thought I'm aspec, aroace or something. But also me when women.. (and sometimes enbies/gnc folk)

like women are (can be) really hot. but like I don't think I'm attracted to them really? I have a way easier time telling when women are attractive than when men are.

But yeah I was kinda wondering what it could mean like having a type who you aren't like attracted to really, like don't want to date them, fuck them, befriend them or be them, but think are hot.

Another thing that got me questioning is a thing where I've - kinda jokingly - said my type is like pretentious people, and don't really know any. And if I just haven't met my type basically..

Also if anyone else relates to any part of this?

hi anon!! maybe check out aesthetic attraction, that might be what you're experiencing! here's an explanation of it to get you started

hope that helps!!

[doberbutts]

Yo is there any potential to be your friend?

Wait, lemme rephrase my question. Is there any potential to attempt to befriend you? :P fellow queer black enby dog nerd here

Really the best way to be my friend is to just... be friendly honestly.

I've made plenty of friends on here and talk to these folks regularly. They all started by them being friendly and talking with me about things that interest the both of us. As time went on, one of us eventually got the hint that the other wanted to be friends, and now we're friends. You'll notice with many of my friends on here that there's not a lot of interaction on tumblr the website itself, but either in person (when possible) or over a different medium. That's because tumblr is very bad at telling me that someone wants my attention so if I actively want to keep contact with someone I move our chatter off tumblr. If I've done that with you, I'm probably already wanting to be your friend.

As much as I understand you want to connect with fellow queer black people- me too!- I also don't really care about that when forming a friendship. This is in fact why I have such a varied friend group, because I don't let labels affect whether I want to be that person's friend or not. I accept differences and similarities for what they are, but I'm way more concerned about who you are as a person rather than the list of identities that apply.

[vaporwavedoggie]

Hi I'm Dusty!!! Here's some stuff about me:

- I use any pronouns, he/him preferred but any work tbh. Idc what you refer to me as really, all I know is I exist on this bitch of an earth lmao

- I'm 28, prefer only 18+ folks to interact with me. I will not befriend anyone under 18 for personal comfort, sorry ya'll.

- I'm a transmasc enby, gray ace, and pansexual

- I'm neurodivergent as well babey

- I'm a huge furry

- I have no job other than freelancing because I'm a full time momdad of 4 and househusbandwife but do commissions on the side!!!

- Speaking of, I also draw a lot too!! My art is under the tag #dustins cool art

- No, my asks will not be open nor will they ever be. Anon or not. If you have something to say to me, message me directly.

Goku rp blog: @helloiamgoku

Peri rp/ask blog: @periwinklefairywinkle

Here's the other sites I'm on, including my ko-fi and commission prices.

DNI's and whatnot under the read more

DNI if you're a: radfem, terf, radqueer, transmed, proship, pro harassment (it's the internet just block and move on lol no need to start shit, I should also say that uhhh spreading the word about disgusting people is not harassment), pedophile/map, or zoophile/zeta

I've also had this tumblr since I was like 14 so if you scroll through my blog long enough, you'll see opinions that I used to have that I have since changed my stance on. So I apologize in advance if you see my cringy old posts.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

How do you stop being a Terf? (This is a serious question)

Lee says:

That’s a hard one. First, I would also recommend unfollowing all TERF blogs, even if you were mutuals. I’d personally block the blogs, but just unfollowing would work- and get out of terf-y online spaces.

It takes time and effort to deradicalize yourself- our Ally resources has some info on stuff you can do as an ally, but I’d say the first step is using people’s pronouns, respecting their identity, and staying in your own lane about trans things- even if you don’t understand why someone is identifying the way that they do, you should accept that it’s their experience and their label and move on. 

Followers, please add on with more suggestions!

Followers say:

butterscotch-veins said: ive seen a little bit from other blogs that have since been wrongfully shut down during the whole tumblr purge thing, but theyve gotten this same question a lot and basically: it’s a process. it’s listening to trans people-trans women, trans men, and nonbinary people-and believing what they say about their own experiences, and understanding that not all people experience gender identity the same way. and it’s also learning to recognize when people are arbitrarily prescribing roles and ways of being to others, or otherwise shaming someone for ‘fitting stereotypes’, and then it gets you on the way to thinking in less, well, radfem-y ways

gaystarwarscharacter said: uh I would recommend following trans people on social media and reading up on transgender issues! the more educated you are the easier it is to understand where we’re coming from and unlearn toxicity

shadytsun said: Read and learn about trans people experiences , take your time to deconstrusct these issues

heardofbees said: Ask yourself why you previously believed(or acted as though) trans people should be excluded from your kindness and respect.

anon said: Hey terf anon, If you are considering the issues trans people face, and you are saying that you don’t want to be a terf anymore, i’d say your are already well on your way. keep learning! talk to trans folks, and listen! It is really hard to break a bigoted train of thought, and many people don’t even think to try to change, let alone try! You’ll be fine with empathy and compassion. just keep growing.

snakeonbread said: I just wanted to say I’m really proud of the terf anon! I’m glad you are recognizing hate is wrong! If you want to talk to a non-binary person I can help!

hyperandrogenism said: its important that you consider intersex people too! look at how many terf talking points like saying women instead of people with ovaries would harm intersex people,  how terf language like calling trans women “y chromos” (one i saw once) is intersexist, how sex is a spectrum, etc

bullet-farmer said: Okay, anon. I’m going to respond in good faith because I truly believe you are asking in good faith. I am not transgender, but I am nonbinary, and since TERFs often target enbies too, I feel like I have at least some of the equipment to answer you.

The process of unlearning hatred, dislike, or misplaced anger at a group of people is both as easy and as complex as it seems. Here is what I would do.

1. First, start with yourself. Ask yourself what you believe about trans people (I’m using “trans” as an umbrella term here; I am also including anyone who doesn’t fall along the male-female, cisgender binary when I say it). Write these down. Then ask yourself where you think you learned these things. If you don’t have a solid answer–provided you, unlike me, don’t have major problems with memory–the answer may be as obvious as “unlearned hatred from society at large’s treatment of trans people.” Start here.

2. Tell yourself that you must unlearn these ideas and replace them with more humane, more compassionate, and more healthy ideas if you are to give up TERF/radfem ideology. Make a solid commitment to this. I find that writing down commitments like this can be helpful; so, too, can incorporating them into a ritual or religious practice if you are religious or spiritual.

3. Start to unlearn them. When you feel them pop up in your mind or your speech, stop and challenge yourself. Ask what made the ideas pop into your head–if something turned your thoughts toward them or if they just suddenly appeared. If something made you think of them, what was it?

4. As part of unlearning them and replacing them, start to get to know transgender people as people. Read what they’ve written (books or blogs), watch films by and about trans people. Realize that every trans person is different politically, ideologically, and in how they view being trans. Educate yourself on what being transgender actually is, rather than defaulting to a transphobic idea (e.g. trans women are just “men in dresses”).

5. When you feel as though you’ve done sufficient work on yourself and that you won’t or can’t cause people emotional harm–to the best of your ability; we all cause harm without intending to from time to time–seek out transgender people to befriend and care about. Do not put the onus on them to be friends with you, or treat them like your pet morality project. Again, only do this when you feel ready, and only do it if a friendship seems to come naturally–for example, if you go to pride and end up having a great chat with a transgender person while waiting in line for your ticket, or for getting beer if you’re of drinking age, etc. When you do, remember that trans people are not here to educate you, to validate your struggle, or to cheerlead. They are people, just like you are, and want to be interacted with, with respect and care and without you putting your baggage onto them.

You can also talk to me if you want some things from a nonbinary perspective. My messenger is open, I will not expose your identity or our conversations to anyone, and I will help you all I can. I may not be able to answer some (or many) questions or to help you through some things, but I will do my best. I ask only that you approach me with an open mind, an open heart, and goodwill–and that you are over eighteen as I don’t feel comfortable, at thirty-eight, interacting with anyone younger than that.

Not everyone will want to do this for you, and you should only approach people if they unequivocally and freely offer their time and emotional resources. But I am doing as much. I am always happy when I see that people want to leve destructive mindsets behind and want to help them with that goal in any way that I can. If you PM me and don’t want to talk on Tumblr, I will also give you my email.

Let’s talk, anon. :)

[marshmarlowee]

There’s a new player at my larp and their pronouns on Facebook are they/them and they refer to their character as they and I’m just aaa! Same hat! I don’t want to be weird but I also want to let them know that same hat! I’m non-binary too!! I don’t know what word they actually use to describe their gender bc I haven’t asked but ! They/them pal!

Only like one person at my larp knows I’m non-binary and use she/her and they/them, so most people just call me she and I don’t bother to tell them otherwise but like I gotta befriend this fellow enby/genderqueer folk !

[sophygurl]

Thoughts for National Coming Out Day in this year of our lord twentyGAYteen:

1. When I was a teenager, I knew I was straight. In my 20′s, I knew I was bi. In my 30′s, I knew I was pan. I’m in my 40′s now and it’s gotten complex.

I’m non-mono romantically and sexually attracted, as in I have attraction to multiple genders. 

But I’m also suspecting more and more that I fall on the ace spectrum along the lines of akoisexual. I experience attraction, I like the idea of dating and relationships, but I don’t like the feeling of being attracted to, and the reality of dating or sex or being in a relationship feels yucky to me. Some of this might be due to PTSD stuff and/or other medical reasons. But it also might just be who I am. It could be a combo of both. Whatever the case, I’m cool being single.

I’m also poly, and I know not everyone thinks polyamory belongs under the queer/lgbtetc. umbrella, but for me it most definitely fits as part of my overall orientation and identity. When I was dating, I did mono or poly relating equally, but FELT poly whichever I was doing. And as a singleton now, I still FEEL poly. It’s important to me. And my platonic life partners still feel like a poly community to me. We have each other in ways that significant others do but just minus the sex and romance. 

I’m also genderqueer, and I’ve thought a lot about what that means to me individually. I don’t consider myself trans or non-binary. There’s a lot of complicated and personal reasons why that is the case for me, but it ends up sounding like gatekeeping because other people might share similarities to my situation but do consider themselves trans and/or enby, so we’ll just leave it as - it’s just how I personally do and don’t identify. I feel that I have a multiplicity of gender, including feminine and masculine both. But I am also very comfortable with my assigned bio sex as female. It’s my gender that’s queer - not my sex. For some people it’s the other way around, or both. 

All of this is long-winded and complex, and so much easier summed up as queer, so mostly I just go with queer. Also because apparently queer is having to be re-reclaimed these days which pisses me off so I’m just gonna use the word queer as often as possible. Queer. Queer. Queer! 

2. I’m out, open, proud, and loud about my identities. This is mostly because I’m just an obnoxious self-discloser in general and will tell anyone anything about myself at the slightest provocation. 

BUT Also, I do think it is very important for the people who can and want to be out to do so. Someone has to answer questions and challenge norms and be an example to young folk and make all this shit visible and normalized. And since I have no qualms about being out, I am happy to do these things for the folks who can’t or just choose not to. Because that shit is valid as hell, too. 

There are so many many reasons why someone might not feel safe to come out, or ready to come out, or not want to come out fully, or might just want to come out to some people and not others, or might want to come out about some aspects of their identities and not others, or might want to be fully out but not be bugged or questioned about it beyond stating what is true about themselves, etc. All of that is valid. 

But I’m here and openly queer and ready to talk about it. So feel free to ask me about my queerness. (This goes for other shit in my life, too. For example, I will answer questions about my chronic illnesses or my mental illnesses or about living on disability benefits or about being an abuse survivor or about my favorite books or my cats or whatever the fuck.) 

Leave the people who want their privacy alone. But I’m someone you can come at, as long as you’re polite and respectful about it. 

3. My coming out stories are kinda weird. Because my life has been kinda weird. So like, my dad came out to me when I was around 10 and my parents were splitting up. It came out along with a whole bunch of other stuff about the dysfunctional aspects of my parent’s marriage and some wrong things my dad did which is maybe the one thing I won’t talk publicly about yet because it’s not really my story to tell but I do talk about it privately. But so anyway. Yea.

My parents split up, my dad came out as gay and left the ministry as a result, and he moved out of town. This was in the mid-80′s in a conservative area of the midwest, so it was not a thing that was talked about publicly. I did not tell any of my friends for years. One friend found out by snooping through my things and then told me. Another friend and I got talking because he had a gay older brother and we were safe people to talk to about this thing (it later turned out we were both queer too but I sure didn’t know back then and I think he was probably in early figuring it out stages himself at the time). 

I didn’t tell anyone else until I got to college. Not even my bestest friend knew. So first things first - I had to come out about my dad being gay.

I didn’t personally have an issue with my dad’s gayness. I just knew other people were likely to, and I was being actively bullied by half the student body already and if this secret came out it would just have given them more fodder, so I kept it in. Turns out, some of my friends had figured it out anyway and were fine with it. And all of my friends were great about it once they were told. 

But not only was my dad gay, but my parents were very liberal and we had family friends who were gay, and my parents talked openly with me about trans people and intersex people and many other things so it was not an issue for me. I used to sometimes wonder if I might be gay and then go, nope, I like boys too much! lol

So then I got to college. And met and befriended people who were bisexual or at least bi-curious and it got me thinking... and one day while out thinking I caught myself watching a woman’s butt wiggling as she walked in front of me, and I realized that I enjoyed watching such things a lot, and the lightbulb clicked on like ooohhhhhhh I’m bisexual! 

My friends who were fine about my dad being gay were equally fine about my bisexuality. I mean, listen, some of them were conservative Christians who believed I was probably going to end up in hell some day - but they probably thought that about me before this realization for other reasons anyway - and they still loved and accepted me as a person, which is what mattered to me. I was a little worried to tell my dad because I knew not all gay people accepted bi people, but he was fine about it. 

The funny part was my mom. When I went off to college, my mom started doing as much self-exploration as I was doing. So we kept coming to the same realizations around the same time. Bisexuality, polyamory, Unitarian Universalism, etc. It was like - I discovered this new thing about myself ... oh yea, me too! lol

I’ve never had a negative coming out experience with anyone I actually care about. I’ve had strangers or casual acquaintances on the internet react badly, but that shit doesn’t bother me. 

I know I am incredibly lucky - both in how easy it’s been for me to figure out and accept my own identities, and in how easy it’s been for the people in my life to accept them and me. I remember I told my bestest friend about my bisexuality when I had just broken up with my first partner - a guy - and was heart broken and going to come live with her for a little bit until I got my life sorted back out a bit. I wanted her to know, in case I started to date a woman. But I also didn’t want her to worry about the whole living in the same space thing, so I assured her I wasn’t attracted to her in that way. She very comically asked me why, wasn’t she attractive enough, and acted offended, which was just the perfect reaction and I will love her forever for that. 

Not only have I never had a bad coming out experience, but I know that my coming out has directly helped others to come to terms with their identities, and has helped to educate open minded but unaware allies about lots of things. So I am very fortunate. 

And this is a huge part of why I can so easily and comfortably be out and proud. Not everyone gets to have the experiences that I’ve had. So if there is anything I can do to pay this shit forward and be there for other queer folk, I’m gonna always do it. 

I’m here and I’m safe to come out to. I will hold your secret as confidential. I will help you open up about it if that’s your desire. I will support you as you question and figure shit out. I will help you find resources. I will believe you. I will accept you. I will help raise your voice. I will be your voice if you can’t speak up for yourself. I will fight off your bullies. I will field your ridiculous questions. I will listen. I will hear you. I will tell you that you are not alone.