#before you say anything no i didn't draw each star one by one don't worry LMAO
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onetwothree-moved · 2 years ago
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make a wish
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starboye · 4 months ago
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starring: nerdy!matt sturniolo x male reader
request: matt helping you study (or at least trying to) and you're to horny to even focus so you tease matt the whole time
warnings: smut, cursing, teasing, edging, blow job, nerdy!matt
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"c'mon matt you got this just read the paragraph" you coo as if you didn't have your hand wrapped around his cock slowly pumping away, he offered to help you study for your upcoming test but this isn't what he meant, but maybe it was his fault for agreeing to study while laying in bed knowing you would very well do this to him "ngh please y/n we have to study" matt whimpered, his thighs twitching with each slight move of your hand, i mean how could matt be so dumb to think you would actually call him over just to study.
"don't worry about me i'll ace the test because i have my very smart boyfriend to help me study, right" you tease rubbing you thumb across his aching leaky tip "i mean how would i ever do anything with out you helping me" you says kissing his cheek and moving down to lay small kisses on his neck "please" matt whispers "m'gonna need you to speak up matty" you taunt him and now he's not sure how much more of this torture he can take before he blows "ple- mm fuck y/n... please suck me" matt lowly repeats.
"happily" you quickly kiss him before your traveling down and getting comfy in between his legs, you fully take off his underwear and pants and lick his tip, flicking the beads of pre cum onto your tongue "mmm you taste so good matt" you smile before you start slapping his dick onto your tongue, matt by now has thrown the book somewhere onto the bed and as much as he didn't want to bring his eyes to your, fearful of the effect it might have on him he couldn't stop looking at you.
you sunk your mouth onto his twitchy dick and bobbing your head up and down, matts hands flew to grip the sheets of your bed tightly, watching your actions through fluttering eyelashes "fuckkk" matt let out broken guttural moans that sounded like he was on the edge of cumming but you quickly pull off his dick, jerking him off to make up for the loss of your mouth "i cant have you cumming that quick now can i" you tease even more, your hand moving at an agonizingly slow pace that left him just on the edge but never cumming.
"fuck y/n... please i wanna cum" matt whines, thighs twitchy to the touch of your hand "i know but you can hold it for just a little longer" you say leaning down to kiss his thighs, one hand moving to fondle his balls a little "mm mm" he shakes his head, biting down on his lip to silence his moan, he was thanking god that you're family wasn't home right now to hear him and his whiny noises.
you wanted to draw this out for longer, edge him on again and again just to ruin it but his cute face scrunching with each of you teasing moves made you take pity on him, you sink your mouth back onto his cock and resume bobbing your head up and down till matt was writhing uncontrollably in his place before cumming in your mouth, loud whimpers flood from his mouth just as his cum floods your mouth.
you bring your head up and wipe your mouth of the arousal before crawling towards his dazed face and kissing him, you lay flat on his huffing chest "we should study together more often" you say snuggling into him "ye... yeah definitely" matt says finally coming back to his senses "did you really study for that test though" matt asks now rubbing you back "nope" you say unbothered making matt roll his eyes.
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taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 2 years ago
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Are you requests open yet, right?
Can you make something with Fenrys, like, him and reader are mates, and they are trying to get a child for so long, and one day they discover that they are expecting.
(I really liked your writing, and very few people write about him, so I wanted to thank you for this 💕)
Had a blast writing this truly. Thank you for requesting and the kind words, I hope you'll enjoy it. 🤍✨
Little pup
At first, you didn't talk about it. You both were still young and for the most part, had wanted to explore the world together. Just you two. Try new things. See new places. Travel. Indulge in each other's company. And the mating frenzy hit you so hard that you didn't leave your house for over a month. And by then you were convinced that everyone passing by could smell the sex lingering all around.
And yet even in that month, it wasn't about getting pregnant. Fenrys was learning how to please you and you were doing the same. It was the desire to explore that drove you. To bring each other immense pleasure. Till the last breaking point. Till the moment all you could see was stars. Till furniture was breaking. But the thought of conceiving never crossed your mind.
But it's the first time your period is late and you're feeling so weird that Aelin had to drag you to the healer's level. It's the joyful smile on the woman's face when she says, "Oh you might as well be pregnant", that breaks this bubble of cold water over your head. "How exciting would that be? Babies are so rare and to have one ahh...", the healer beams as she ushers you to lay down. You reach for Aelin's hand almost instantly. The nerve suddenly so uneasy in your chest.
And then the healer's face drops and so does your heart. Sadness washes over you and it's like you had lost something you didn't even think you wanted five minutes ago. "You started your circle, darling", she says lowering your skirt down and you just want to crawl into yourself. "Ah, yes", you quickly move to get down the table. Glad your back is to the two women as you quickly wipe your tears. Suddenly feeling so frustrated. You feel Fenrys tugging on the bond yet that only makes your heart ache more so you push him out of your head quickly. Drowsing the bond in complete darkness.
Fenrys comes home way earlier than he should have been there. And you know it's because he would always drop anything for you. High stake leaders waiting for the meeting? Fuck them! His mate needs him so he's leaving and gods save the souls who try to stand in his way.
He knows by the silence that something had happened. Something that upset you. Ticked you over. Then Fenrys smells the blood. Gears turning before he realizes that your cycle had finally shown up but why the sense of sorrow then? This feeling of pain makes him rub his chest as he too tries to soothe the aching.
"My, love", Fenrys shrugs his cloak off carelessly, stepping closer to the bed. You're completely submerged by the furs all over your body. He makes a quick work of pushing them to the side until your wet cheeks come into sight and Fenry's heart drop even more. "Love", he breathes out in worry. But that only makes your tears well up more. A choked-out sob leaves your lips before you move to push away from your mate. That jabs Fenry's heart too.
"Love, if you don't tell me what's going on...", and then this shien of anger washes over you. Painting your cheeks in even more crimson shades. "Talk to you? Talk about what, huh?", you leap at him, fist coming in contact with Fenrys's strong chest.
But then you draw your hands back, looking at them with so much disgust. Fenrys steps in quickly taking your smaller palms into his. Your mind was too chaotic for him to read now. So he had to trust you to let him in on your own time. "What is going on...", you mutter, "You're overwhelmed and your body is full of hormones", even Fenrys frown at his own words but that's the truth in a way. The question still stands though. What caused all of this? "I thought I was...", you breathe through the sobs, "Thought we had...", and then it's full-on sobs, till your legs give out and Fenrys quickly wraps you up in his arms, rocking you from time to time.
There's no way to tell how long you've been crying by the time you're only sniffling. Eyes puffy and red, holding onto Fenrys for dear life. And he had run out of comforting words by then, opting for silence and love that he poured through the bond. You push away from him slightly. Knowing full well that you owe him an explanation. Because he too would have been a part of this if you had been pregnant. Your eyes well up with tears once more as you glance at him and Fenrys is ready to cradle you once more but you stop him. "I saw a healer this morning. She thought that I might...", you swallow the lump in your throat, shoulders sagging, "might be... pregnant". Fenrys's heart jumps up his throat. Suddenly he's almost hyper-aware of his surroundings. Threats. Smells. Sounds. But then nothing. And then just like before it all falls into place.
This. All of this was because you weren't. Because there wasn't a babe growing in your womb. No little Fenrys, or Y/N. And it's almost like another slap to his face because he only now realizes that you never really talked about it. Becoming parents. Growing your family. Being together and having one another was comforting enough. But seeing you like this. "I'm sorry...", you whisper and Fenrys draws his gaze back to you. "What for love? There's nothing to be sorry for", he brushes your loose hair away from your face.
"For not being pregnant", Fenrys frown at your words. And frowns so deep that his eyebrows nearly come together. "Now you take that back", his hands cup your face, "You take that back and never dare to apologize for something like this".
And you know that it comes from his heart because he loves you. Because no matter what you do he will always be there. "What if I can't?", you ask him, biting your lip, "Then we won't have any and that will be more than enough because we would have one another", he's quick to reassure you. And once more from the way his eyes are gleaming you know that he means it. "Come here", he mutters m, bringing you back into his arms, and wrapping it up in the comfort of his warmth. Drowning out the world around you.
All of this leads to a long conversation about children. One that you share late at night, both tangled between the sheets. Let the stars and the moon be the only witnesses of your wishes and dreams. And you both know that's so rare. And something that many couples don't even get close to. Fenrys knows how he and his brother Connall had come pretty late into their parent's lives. But then what a blessing it was to have two babies. Yet the time span was what scared him the most. Not because he was desperate. Don't get him wrong he wanted to see you pregnant. Know that it's his baby growing within you. But he could tell how fragile this topic made you. How you would shiver any time someone brought up the conversation of babies. How you would halt at the sight of younglings running around in the streets. How you forced a smile once Ellide got pregnant and you had brushed away your sad tears saying that it was only happy crying.
And it's only a handful of years later. Many disappointing visits to the healers later that you jolt up in the morning rushing to the bathroom. Fenrys is out of bed just as fast, darting after you and reaching to hold your hair out of your face as you emptied your stomach into the toilet. His hands rub comforting circles over your back. Your skin looks clammy and pale and it makes Fenrys sick to his stomach as well.
Because what if all the sorrows had finally eaten you from within in? What if he had missed something? Overlooked you not eating well, not sleeping enough. Your head drops to the side, and Fenrys quickly turns you over, reaching for the tap before flickering water over your face. If an illness claimed your life... if he would be left alone...it's a selfish thought but one that has been his number one fear ever since he saw you for the very first time.
"I'm fine", you groggily say and Fenrys only huffs, "Fine my ass, you're barely conscious". Those are harsher words than he wishes that thrown your way but he's so worried. So worried his own eyes are blurry. Then he moves up quickly, you tightly pressed to his chest. "Fen, I just need to lay down", but he doesn't listen as he throws the door open. Not caring that he's shirtless, or that you are only wearing one of his shirts. He rushes down the hallway, yet he's still mindful of not shaking you too much.
The healers haven't even finished their morning preparations when he storms in, eyes wild. The healer who had been tending to you for years now jumps up instantly. "I don't know what's happening", Fenrys admits as he lowers you onto the bed. The lady presses her palm onto your forehead before cradling your cheek. "Y/N, what's hurting?", she asks softly but you only shake your head. Her mouth falls into a tight frown and she orders a couple of other healers around, turning to Fenrys so he would tell her what happened.
"When was the last time you ate, girl?", she asks strictly, fingers running over your stomach. "Breakfast", you breathe out, "yesterday". Fenrys growls in frustration. He had returned home late last night, you had already been asleep and so he never even thought about the fact that he didn't ask anyone on his way up if you had been down to eat dinner. The healer shakes her head, "Silly, silly girl. Mirth, bring the lady some light breakfast and a tart", she says even though you turn to protest. "You're with child and this is all stunt you pulled here is because you didn't eat", every sound in the room dies down. Your eyes grow big and for a moment you're sure you just mistaken her words. Surely not... but it's the way Fenrys is looking at the healer with the same surprised eyes that makes you realize that he heard it too.
"Congratulations you two. A strong heartbeat", she carefully presses her palm to your shoulder. Knowing full well that once the information fully settled in Fenrys's brain anyone that would get near the slight swell in your lower stomach would be marked an enemy. The wolf closes the distance between you two. He doesn't yet trust his words so he just leans in pressing his forehead to yours. And now that it's been brought up you do smell slightly different. And the heartbeat. How did he miss the heartbeat? What kind of father will he be if he missed his child growing inside you?
"The best kind", you mutter, "the best kind of father", your hand cups his cheek, and the white wolf instantly nuzzles closer to you. He kisses the side of your head, brushing the tears from your cheeks. "Our baby", he mumbles, pressing his palm to your stomach, "Our little pup", you put your hand over his. And then Fenrys breaks into fits of giggles as he brings you closer into his arms. You too can't help the smile even if the dizziness still lingers. And you suddenly feel complete as if this was all that was missing. Now the picture would be complete. "A father, my beautiful mate will make me a father", he beams, brushing his lips against yours in a messy kiss, but the door swings open as the younger healer walks in with a trey. The laughter stops and Fenrys is snarling at the door, teeth out. Your hands push against his chest softly, "Darling, she means no harm", you reassure him yet his eyes don't leave the poor girl now shaking by the door. "Thought you seen him protective, girl? Welcome to the next stage", the older healer chuckles as she hands you the sweet bun.
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annymation · 10 months ago
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Okay, I know Valentine's Day just passed, but how would a Valentine's Day interaction go with Aster and Asha? What would each of them do for each other on Valentine's Day?
Sorry for the VERY late reply, haven't got much time to answer lately, and before I didn't have much inspiration for this one, but @uva124 gave me an idea, so here's a little Valentine's day story
Asha decided that for Valentine's day she'd make a painting for Aster, a painting of a field of purple aster flowers, with a beautiful night sky.
However, because she's quite the perfectionist, and not as skilled with painting as she is with drawing, she felt like the painting wasn't quite good enough no matter what she did. So for days before Valentine's day arrived she'd hide in her room trying to finish it, not letting Aster see it.
But then the day actually arrives and she loses track of time trying to finish it, before she knows it it's already close to night time
*knock knock*
"Asha? You're in there?" Aster asks worried from outside her room
"A-AH! Don't come it yet! I'm busy!" Asha has her hands and arms all covered in paint as she tries to hide her unfinished work behind a cloth
"I know, you said so earlier but... Valentine's day is almost over, do you wanna hang out?" Aster sounded a bit sad that they didn't even see each other earlier
Asha looks surprised noticing it's indeed sunset, she completely lost track of time "Oh no! Ugh I knew I should've used acrylic paint!" She says in frustration
(For those who don't know, acrylic paint dries way faster than oil paint, I'd know, I used to make oil paintings)
"What are you talking about" Aster says coming in the room, they see her covered in paint "*gasp!* You were painting!?" He smiles widely "I didn't know you knew how to draw AND paint too!"
"That's because I honestly don't know how to paint, this turned out a mess" She points to the canvas hidden behind a piece of cloth
"... Let me be the judge of that" Aster walks in and pulls out the cloth to see her art.
The night sky is full of white dots splattered around that do resemble stars, and the purple field of flowers looks quite messy because the flowers all sorta mixed together into one purple blur.
Aster looks at the canvas in awe while Asha covers her face in shame "It looks like a child made it, I'm sorry, I've wasted the whole day instead of spending time with y-"
"I LOVE IT!" Aster exclaimed hugging her tightly "It looks amazing! What do you mean "like a child made it"???"
Asha smiles at him, but she still feels insecure about the painting "I wanted it to be perfect"
They smile at her reassuringly "You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be you, and that's way more than perfect for me, okay?" he says while still hugging her
She blushes as a big smile stretches across her face, she hugs him as well "Okay heheh" she giggles a bit, feeling her heart flutter
"Now! It's my turn to give you a gift, come on!" Aster pulls her by the hand out of the room
They go to the cliff next to the tree Asha wished upon Aster
(I make a lot of romantic scenes take place next to this tree but come on it's a cool location)
They watch the sun set together, leaning on one another without really saying anything, just admiring the beautiful sight
Once the sun is gone and the stars start to appear, Asha says "That was a beautiful gift" holding Aster's hand
"Oh that wasn't my gift yet" Aster corrects her with a cheeky smile "OKAY GUYS! Do your thing!" Aster yells to the sky above them
Asha looks up, already excited to see what he got planned but... Nothing seemed to happen
"... Guys???" Aster asked the stars, already getting nervous they wouldn't do the one little favor he asked
Then, Asha sees it, a shooting star cutting through the night sky
"*Gasp!* You asked for a shooting star just for me?" Asha asks hugging his arm
Aster looks quite disappointed though "... No, I asked for a meteor shower, it was supposed to be A BUNCH of those, like come on, is throwing some asteroids around too hard???" They ask, frustrated that things didn't go as he planned
"Hehe you don't need to make a whole cosmic event happen to make me happy" She leans on their shoulder "I love just watching the sun set with you"
Aster feels his heart beating faster "And I love you"
"I love you too"
They kiss under the starry night sky.
A few more shooting stars can be seen passing by.
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hellhound5925 · 1 year ago
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One shot - Sargent Hunter
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“It’s better this way” Part Three
Incase you are new, Part one and Part two.
Warnings:
18+, heartbreak, smut, (I'm bad at warnings let me know if I missed anything) mentions of blood (unintentional self harm?). References to stars exploding. Female character/reader.
Summary:
The smut chapter you’ve been waiting for…that is all 😂 Wait I lied, so the lyrics to Sleep Tokens, Blood Sport is in this as well (I’m trying something new so let me know what we think). Anything that is lyrics will be written as follows: ~ Sleep Token, Blood Sport ~
I stop just outside the doors that lead out onto the landing platform - what can I even say to make up for what I did? Will he forgive me? This is Hunter we are talking about, right? He'll understand. With a deep breath, I press the button, causing the doors to slide open. The modified Omicron-class attack shuttle rests tall and proud on the platform, while the rain gently hits the heavily armored hull.
~ Stuck in a quantum pattern,
Tangled in what I never said,
You say it doesn’t matter ~
At first, there's no sign that anyone's out here, but then I notice the stairs are down and the door is open. Stepping out into the rain, I head over to the steps. The amber glow of the lights inside is warm and inviting, which makes my heart sink - I'm an awful person... Maybe I don't deserve to be forgiven. I head up the steps, getting out of the rain. The cold dampness makes it way through my clothes to my skin, sending a shiver down my spine.
~ I want to be forgiven… ~
A noise comes from he cockpit drawing my attention. I quietly make my way to the doorway, leaning against it. Hunter is on his back under the controls, tinkering with something. He continues to work without acknowledging my presence, but there isn't a doubt in my mind he knew I was here the minute I walked up the stairs. I choose to stay silent for a moment hoping he would start the conversation.
After an alarming amount of time being shrouded in the cold silence, I decide to speak up. "I came to explain myself..." I trail off seeing if he will stop what he's doing but he doesn't. I've never seen him like this before and its actually scaring me a little.
~ I want to choke up chunks of my own sins ~
"Hunter please...I need you to understand...I never meant—" I'm cut off my a loud clanging noise. Hunter drops the tool he was working with and mutters a string of curses in Mando'a. Pushing himself out from under the controls, he's looking over his hand. Without a second thought, I rush over and grab it looking it over. He's moving it, so its likely not broke and theres no blood.
Neither of us move, his hand still in mine. I gently brush my fingers over his knuckles having almost forgotten what his touch was like. Without warning he pulls away, turning his back to me "I need to finish these repairs before we ship out."
~ Would you invite me in again? ~
At his words my stomach drops into my feet. "I'll be quick then, but I need you to hear me on this please."
~ Let me pay for my arrogance ~
He sighs and his shoulder drop. Without turning around, he turns his head to the side to show me he's listening. The fact that he can't even look at me is the final strike that breaks me completely. My legs become to weak to hold me up and I drop to my knees sobbing uncontrollably, "I was so worried about losing you out there....I had no idea what I would do without you....my best idea was to pull away....Tech...he made me realize—" at this point I can't think straight or get enough air into my lungs to continue.
~ Won’t you show me your weakness? ~
Burying my head in my hands, I didn't even hear anyone approach. A hand rests on each of my shoulders, I look up to see Hunter with a concerned look etched into his handsome features only inches from mine.
"I don't—deserve forgiveness" I blurt out.
~ I made loving you a blood sport ~
He reaches towards my face, placing a hand on my cheek. The rough pad of his thumb wipes away the waterfall of tears having made their way to my lips. The taste of their salt on my tongue.
"I wish you had come to me about how you were feeling." His voice is the calm at the center of the storm. It's warm and full of life, a life I crave. He pulls me in to his chest, where I lose control once again. Rubbing circles into my back with one hand in my hair, his hold on me tightens as if I'd slip through his fingers like the sands of Tatooine.
~ I’m still your favorite regret ~
"I forgive you" his chest vibrates with his words, "and I'm sorry you were in that much pain and didn't feel like you could come to me." In that moment, the black hole I created just a day ago was gone. The very star at the center of his universe, back where it belongs. Giving its life back to the planets, it watches over.
Returning his hands to my shoulders, he pushes me back to look me in the face. "Promise me from now on, you come to me whenever you feel that way." His beautiful brown eyes roam my face as I collect myself but all I can do is nod.
~ You’re still my weapon of choosing ~
My brain is so foggy from the overflow of emotions, "I don't understand how you don't hate me?"
"I could never hate you. You mean too much to me but I wanted to respect your decision."
"Tech said I'm one of the reasons you fight so hard to come home. Is that true? You fight for me?"
There's a long pause, Hunter places his forehead against mine "I will always fight for you."
~ And out there,
Stuck in a quantum pattern,
Tangled in what I never said… ~
I'm at a complete loss for words and even thought we're so close, a need to be closer claws at my insides. My hands find their way to his face and the stubble on his jaw tickles my palms, at this angle my hands look so small. Hunter likely feeling the same way, runs his hands down my sides resting them on my hips.
He pauses for a second before pulling me onto his lap. As if we've practiced this a thousand times, my legs wrap around his lean torso, while my hands make their way over his muscular shoulders and entangle themselves in his hair. Effortlessly, he lifts the two of us off the floor, carrying me over to his bunk and gently sets me on it. Its quite messy which means he didn't stay in the shared space with his brothers last night.
~ You say it doesn’t matter ~
Hunter hesitates, still hovering over me. “I promise that whatever happens out there…I will always find my way home to you.”
Grabbing the chest piece of his armor, I pull him so our lips crash together sloppily. After a few moments we break and all the only sounds that can be heard are the pitter patter of rain on the hull and our labored breathing. The space between us still nonexistent as his lips gently brush mine, I lean into him pressing our foreheads together. His nose is pressed into my cheek and yet it still feels like theres a galaxy between us.
“I need you” I whisper into his lips and arching my back ever so slightly, pressing myself further into him.
His lips dance gently across mine and it’s almost too much to bare. Hunter knows exactly what he’s doing and at this point I deserve to be tortured. Just as he leans in like he’s going to finally kiss me, he pulls away exposing my face to the cold air between us. A smug smile makes it away across his face but before I can react, he presses me into the mattress with his body. He kisses me so deeply, it makes the darkness of space seem shallow. My hands wander over his muscular back and through his hair causing a lusty hum to vibrate deep in his chest.
Muscle memory kicks in, and armor pieces start piling up on the floor followed by a pair of GAR issue blacks. My clothes are next to follow, the cold dampness of them feels like a distant memory as the warmth of his body radiates through mine. With one finger he slowly trails my jaw line, down my neck to my chest stopping briefly between my breasts. Goosebumps erupt all over my body, as he continues his painstakingly slow journey to my thighs. I’m too caught up in a storm of blissful anguish to make a sound.
Hunter forces his way through my throbbing core, falling in rhythm with the rain creating a beautiful symphony that overwhelms my senses. My desperation to be consumed with this feeling of him inside me. We've been together like this many times before but this....it's just different. Time suddenly seems to stand still as the two of us became whole once more. My back arches involuntarily at the electricity that shoots through my body. He's almost too much for me to handle, with fist full of the sheets and my toes curled to the soles of my feet, my body trembles with pleasure. My breathing hitches as a soft whimpering gasp falls from my lips.
"Easy Mesh'la...I've got you...I always will" he purrs in my ear before nipping and kissing my neck.
I cry out as his words are the final push over the edge, white hot pleasure corses through my core with the intent to keep him there. Hunter continues, not stopping until he knows our desire has been fulfilled.
As we come down from our high he surrounds me with his closeness, his embrace. His scent washes over me and becomes the air in my lungs, his touch makes my skin shiver with pleasure. In his strong arms I feel a safeness that I have never felt before. Burying his head my hair, he inhales deeply as if to soak me in. We lay there together in silence for a moment as the soft pitter patter of the rain slowly subsides.
"I know ‘s right for both of us…We’re always better together” his words slurred like a love drunken fool.
Taglist: @cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter @maybethatfanfictionwriter @savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal
Huge huge huge thank you to @cloneloverrrrr and @lune-de-miel-au-paradis you guys are the freaking best 🫡💖
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sugamehhq · 1 year ago
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His Smile
[Johnny's POV]
-
Waking up this morning felt like a dream. Having opened my eyes to my future laying beside me, nothing felt real.
Of course I've been through the process of a wedding, so I knew how to go about planning. The outfits, the theme, the place, everything was in my hands, and I wanted it to be perfect.
The morning started smoothly. Cuddles, kisses, and good mornings were shared. We had a few hours before our friends were to arrive. They were to help us get ready, you know, to 'not see each other's outfits' and all.
The closer it got to the time, the more nervous we both felt. I knew it would be fine, everything was planned out the way it should be. My fiance on the other hand had no reassurance to his worries.
He worried as if the whole thing was a performance. Hell, I'd say he was more worried than I usually get before a big shoot. Having paused his own preparations, I took the chance to tell him it was all taken care of. How there was nothing to worry about, our friends and I would make sure of it.
That all he needed to do was be himself.
A comforting hug, gentle kisses, some joking around, and he was able to get himself back in the groove. 
Watching him was one of my favorite things.
Knowing this is what I'll have for the rest of my life made it even better.
-
Admittedly, when it came down to the dressing and being separated from each other, I began to worry a bit myself. Embarrassing if you ask me, but my best man understood my reasons. He was always one to turn down comforting someone with an apathetic joke, but I guess he had some heart for 'my special day'. 
I worried about the strength of our relationship, if this would really last, or if I was just setting myself up to lose it all again. 
It didn't take long for me to understand that he was different. He is the source of my comfort, the one that keeps me grounded. He doesn't know it, but he does a lot for this obnoxious movie star.
How he ended up choosing me, I had no idea, but who am I to complain. I wouldn't trade him for the world.
The entire ceremony as it stands is a complete blur to me. The only thing I remember was his face. How he smiled. He looked content, like he was proud of his choice.
It reassured me that he felt the same way I did.
-
We stood in the middle of a grand room. Everyone else had cleared the floor, allowing only us to occupy it. Some people watched, some turned away. I took his hand and pulled him close to me, leaving little to no space between us.
I guess it just took a while to hit me, but halfway through our 'dance' I suppose you'd call it, I started to cry. There was no reason to, but I did anyway.
Fortunately, my face was hidden against his shoulder. I hoped he wouldn't ask, knowing him he'd laugh at whatever I had to say, but I love his laugh, so maybe it was okay.
It took some time for him to say anything. He only spoke when I shook under his arms, my tears staining his expensive outfit.
His hand planted itself against my head, gently combing through my hair. He made sure to speak quietly to not draw attention, which I appreciated, though it’s not like you could hear through the loud music anyway.
"Why the tears..?"
I hesitated to respond. My mind searched for any cohesive thought, something to give him an answer.
"I don't deserve you," was the first thing I could think of.
As expected, a soft laugh escaped his lips.
God I love that sound.
I felt his grip tighten slightly around my waist, our bodies swaying together gently.
"You deserve more than you think," he sighed over my shoulder.
It probably looked stupid the way I held him, but I couldn't help it. I latched onto him, as if he would drift away from me if I dared to let go. I didn't care. 
Despite being someone who appears clueless, he really does know what to say.
My voice melted into a river of things I love about him, everything that I felt was too extravagant for someone like me. He hummed in response to every ridiculous compliment I threw at him.
Except they weren't ridiculous, because they were true.
His smile is everything to me, the way his voice sounds, every little thing I could think of about him had left my mouth.
And he just hummed in response.
As the song ended, my tears continued. 
He pulled us apart to join our foreheads together. His hands holding my face, they began working to wipe the tears away.
"There's no need to cry..."
But there is.
I need him to know how I feel.
I need him to know I'm happy.
I want him to know he means the world to me, and always will.
-
It took some time for the tears to subside. When they did I was greeted with a clear view of his perfect smile. It was one of those smiles that looked sad, but was reassuring.
We made our way back to the main table, one that consisted of only us and a few friends. They congratulated us for the millionth time that day, of which we happily thanked them.
When it came down to the party subsiding and people heading home, we made sure to thank every person individually for coming. Traveling from one realm to another just for us? It really shows a lot about these people. It shows they really care. 
Soon enough, we were left alone. My now husband tugged at my sleeve, my attention falling to him. Something about the way he latched onto me hurt. I could tell he was waiting all day for everyone to leave just so he could appear vulnerable.
I know it's a bit dramatic, but the adrenaline of the night had started to wear off, so we found our way to the floor.
It was off putting to hear him begin to tell me everything he loved about me, his voice shaking.
I froze in that moment, his arms locking me in place. Everything he said went in one ear and out the other, but I heard it, even if it was for only a split second.
I wrapped my arms around him in return, my eyes filling with tears again as he shared his thoughts with me. Even if it was annoying to cry more that night, I happily accepted his tears. I love it when he shows me how he really feels.
We didn't stay there long, given it was getting pretty late. It was strange to head home after all that happened. Strange to know that the man in front of me was now mine, forever. He's my future, my everything, and again I wouldn't change it for the world.
I let him in the house first, as a gentleman would, and followed right behind him. He stood and waited for me to grab his hand, despite being able to see with Sento in the other. 
The way he stared when I locked our fingers together.
That perfect smile.
I smiled back before dragging him to the kitchen, some late-night wine never hurt anybody.
-
He let go of my hand while telling me he wanted to go change into something comfier, which was understandable, having been wearing a more complex suit than he's used to all day. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek before bolting off to the bedroom.
A wine glass was placed on the island in the middle of the kitchen, waiting for him to come back. I stood against the counter swirling the scarlet liquid in my own glass.
I wanted to reflect on the day, run it by myself again, to make sure everything was 100% perfect. Though I guess it had to wait seeing as he had returned from the bedroom.
He came back empty handed, Sento left on its stand in the other room. He had the place memorized, so being completely in the dark didn't phase him.
We stayed silent for a while, occasionally sipping our glasses. He sat at the island, head hanging low, but a gentle smile remained. I hadn't realized I was staring until he asked me if there was a problem.
There were no problems. In fact, everything was as it should be, though I hadn’t said it outloud, leaving him to wonder what the ‘problem’ was.
Before his smile could dissipate, I spoke up,
“I’m admiring.”
He froze, his smile forming into a laugh,
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Am I not allowed to appreciate what’s mine forever and always?”
“You are,” he swirled his glass gently, “but, don’t you think you might get tired of doing it so frequently?”
“Not at all.”
Having downed the rest of my drink, I placed the glass in the sink behind me. The dishes could wait until tomorrow.
I watched his smile widen as he listened to my footsteps, my hands finding their way around his waist. While I placed a few kisses along his neck, a gentle shiver rattled his body. His hand found its way to my face pulling us into a soft, and much needed kiss.
He always made sure his touch was gentle.
I always found it ironic how much he’s softened up since the first time we met. Being bumped up to husband status wasn’t so bad.
-
Kiss out of the way, I offered the idea of heading to bed, of which he happily agreed. He held my hand as I led the way, my thumb instinctually caressing his fingers. 
While he got comfortable under the covers, I changed out of formal attire and into some comfy clothes. He laid there with his arms open, waiting for me to take my place. Usually I’d have to fight my way into his arms, but I guess he was in an affectionate mood after today’s events.
My point was proven as his arms wrapped around me, a light kiss pressed to my forehead.
“You’re oddly affectionate tonight,”
“Am I not supposed to be?”
He sounded confused, as if I meant it as a bad thing.
“No, no, it’s just- You should do it more often,”
He huffed a quiet laugh, his arms tightening around me,
“Maybe I will.”
And that’s all I needed to hear.
-
The next morning I woke up to a cold bed. The body that was once beside me was no longer present. I started to consider the whole wedding as a dream.
“Good morning,”
Or not.
A noise of protest left my mouth as I rolled over onto my stomach. Never will I ever be a morning person.
My husband made his way to the side of the bed, Sento in one hand, the other coming to comb through my messy hair. His touch was comforting, my eyes threatening to drift back into slumber.
“Breakfast is waiting for you out in the kitchen,”
I mumbled in response, not entirely making words, but a good enough response to let him know I heard him.
Having thought he would’ve gotten tired of staring at me, I stayed still. A few minutes pass and he’s still combing through my hair. At that point, I didn’t even need to comb it myself.
My eyes adjusted to the morning sun pouring through the window. Blinking a few more times, I looked up at the silhouette in front of me. 
My husband, an incredible person full of nothing but love, staring down at me, the warm light outlining his figure. I studied the visual before me, taking in all that I could before it could leave.
But it never left.
It stayed until I was ready to get up.
He never moved.
He sat content along the side of the bed, watching me with the limited sight he was given.
No words were exchanged, just a gentle intertwining of our fingers.
I looked from our hands to his face.
And there it was.
His perfect smile.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Apologies if it sounds a bit rushed towards the end. I had a lot more planned for this writing, but nothing came out as I had hoped. HOWEVER, I like it enough to share with you all. Hopefully you enjoyed :))
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momiji-bookhouse · 2 years ago
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Helloo~ if your event is still on-going may I request qingxin with Kazuha? It fits him quite a bit 👁️👁️
[Qingxin]: "He's so in love he would pluck the stars from the sky if you ask him to."
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Event Masterlist
pairing: Kaedehara Kazuha x gn!reader
genre: fluff
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Many have asked you what it is like to date a sailor. Don't you feel lonely whenever he has to go out to sea for months on end? Don't you feel scared that something might happen to him? What if his ship gets caught in a storm? Or attacked by a sea monster? What if he finds comfort in someone else's arms during his journey?
You would be lying if you said you haven't worried about more than one of these questions before. Yes, it does get lonely sometimes when he's not by your side, when you can't see his face every day or hear his sweet voice string poems together. Yes, there are times that you would stay up when lightning strikes through the serrated night sky, your heart beating in tandem with the thunder as you look out at the dark harbor.
Have you at times felt like you weren't enough for him?...Yes. But he has never given you any reason to doubt his love for you.
(You can't say the same for Chaoxi, who has a whispered reputation for being a playboy, despite what Sisi refuses to hear.)
It's not just because he affirms his love for you whenever he can, through crafted haikus, words twined with flowers, or a simple "I love you", nor is it simply because of the gifts and little trinkets that he would bring back to give to you — a blossom to weave through your hair, an iridescent shell that casts rainbows under the sun, a wooden figurine carved when the moon hangs high.
It's in the way he treats you, so gentle and adoring that others feel it fit to comment about it to you. He's not overtly affectionate in public or anything, and yet with a simple brush of his hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear and how his eyes would draw constellations on your face whenever you talk, his love is communicated more effectively than anything they've ever seen.
"You have him all wrapped around your finger," they would say.
You would blush and take their words, but something they didn't mention is how equally enamored you are by him.
"You have a letter, (Y/N)," Linling says while giving you the crisp envelope. There's no need for you to question who it is from, the careful way your name is written on the front telling you all you need to know.
"Thanks, Linling." You take it from her and move to a more private corner of the room to read it.
"From your boyfriend?"
"Mmhmm." You make an affirmative noise in the back of your throat in response, carefully ripping the envelope open and retrieve the letter from inside.
"You're so lucky to have someone like him, (Y/N). He's always thinking of you — sending you letters and telling you how he is. Can't say the same for someone, though." She looks pointedly at Sisi's bedroom door, no doubt empty at this hour of night.
You simply nod, too engrossed in the letter at this point to offer your opinion about their roommate's love life. You savor every sentence, drinking in every detail from a piece of gossip heard on the Alcor, to who won the arm wrestling competition (Beidou, of course), to the shores he find himself docked to this time (the smell of Harra spice tangles with the briny air of Port Ormos).
You hear his voice in every word, his soft and mellow voice providing warmth to each syllable, right down to the very last sentence.
"The moon is beautiful tonight, but I will forever think about how lovelier it is with you by my side.
Thinking of you tonight, and for all time to come,
Kazuha"
You hold the letter close to your heart, eagerly waiting for the day you'll be reunited with him.
· · ─────── ·🍁 · ─────── · ·
Perhaps you should've realized by now that sometimes things will never go as according to plan.
Instead of being able to run into his arms as soon as he disembarks from the ship, his breezy laughter ringing in your ears, you're stuck in bed with a pounding headache and high fever. When you started coughing a few nights ago, you had hoped that some warm water would make it go away, but then your temperature began to flare high in the night, causing you to call for Linlang with a croaky voice.
You guessed that around this time, he will have already arrived at the harbor. Hopefully Linlang had told him of your sickness and that it's best if he didn't see you until you get better. You would hate to spread your fever to him.
You sigh heavily while curled up in bed. Your fever has mercifully gone down, but you're still left with an aching body and an unwillingness to get out of bed.
You're in the middle of going in and out of sleep when you distantly hear the door opening.
"Linlang?" You say hoarsely. "Is that you?"
The voice doesn't answer at first. Through your hazy eyes, you see a blur of beige and crimson red in your view, and then the sensation of someone sitting down on your bed.
"It's me, my dove."
Even in your sickly state, you're easily able to recognize who that voice belongs to. "K-Kazuha? What are you...doing here?"
"Linlang told me about everything. But how can I stay away when I know you're sick? Let me take care of you, (Y/N)."
"But...you might get sick."
You blink a few times to see his face changing to a light frown. "Don't worry about me, love. I'll be fine. You just focus on getting better."
For the rest of the day, he takes care of you — making sure that you're eating, even when your stomach protests, and that you're taking your medicine at the right time (he had gone all the way to Bubu Pharmacy to get you another dose). He wipes sweat from your brow and tells you of his travels, of the sights he saw in lines of poetry to hopefully distract you from your headache.
When your eyes begin to tire, he adjusts your pillow and invites you to slumber with a soft lullaby.
"You didn't have to stay the whole day for me, you know." You still managed to say even when you yawn.
He only smiles in response. "This is only a fraction of what I would do for you. How could I be worthy of you if I'm not there for you during both the good times and the bad? I may not be able to be there all the time, but as long as you need me, there isn't anything that can keep me from finding my way back to you." He places a tender kiss on your forehead. "Now sleep, my dove. I will be here when you wake up."
"Promise?"
"As true as the wind that blows." Kazuha strokes your cheek, his eyes softening. "Close your eyes, love. May the stars bless you with dreams sweet and beautiful."
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letmereadherbertwestfics · 1 year ago
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Combstober day 3
Prompt: Prostitution
Character: Krem (Star Trek: Enterprise)
Warnings: Smut, slightly dubious consent but not really, tagging it just to be safe
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No matter how many times Krem found himself in this room, he was always nervous like it was the first time. 
Krem sat against the headboard of a plush pink bed, the entire room around him bare and illuminated by soft pinkish white light. The only furniture aside from the bed being a nightstand, littered with different bottles and boxes of things needed for the kind of meeting Krem was about to have. 
Though Krem likely wasn't going to need any of it. 
It was a game Krem played with you. A game the two of you played many times before. He would come to the brothel you offered services in. Rent a room and request you specifically, then wait for your arrival. And when you got here, dressed and made up as if he were any other customer...
Nothing happened. 
Truth be told, Krem didn't want your body. He didn't want to defile and degrade you like so many men and women did when paying for your time. No. Krem was just lonely. He needed someone he could talk to. And ever since your first meeting together, months ago in the same room he sat in now, Krem knew you were that someone. 
Sure, every once in a while he would find himself glancing down at your body, his fingers twitching as he imagined what would happen if he did decide to use your time together the way your other customers did. 
But he would never tell you that. His fear of rejection greatly outweighed his need for release. 
So when the door to the pink room finally opened and you walked in, any of Krem's animalistic needs were swallowed, and he only smiled politely at you. 
"Krem, I was wondering when you were going to come visit again." You said, your voice like silk as you slid into bed next to him. Your words made Krem's face flush, and his hands began to shake. 
"You were wondering about me?" He asked, sounding more shocked than he would have liked to. He could practically hear his cousin mocking him now. 
Much to Krem's relief, you didn't mock him. Not that he was worried though. You never mocked him. Never made a joke at his expense, never made him feel small or unimportant. That was the biggest factor in drawing Krem to you. You gave him everything he had been starved of his entire life. Attention and kindness. That was also what made him want you so badly. And tonight, it seemed Krem's attraction to you was reaching it's boiling point.
Krem was always a nervous person. He was always fidgeting, looking down at the ground, those were all things you expected when talking to him. But something about tonight had made Krem more anxious than you had ever seen him. He could hardly spit out a single sentence without stuttering over each word, and any time he met your gaze, he would flinch like the eye contact had burned him. It worried you, so when the two of you had only fifteen minutes left in your meeting, you finally decided to ask about it. 
"Krem, are you okay?" You asked suddenly. Krem's eyes widened, and he glanced at you before quickly looking away.
"What are you talking about?" He asked quietly. His voice was shaking. 
"That. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You seem...scared." 
There was a thick silence that filled the room after you said that. You were waiting for a response from Krem, and he seemed determined to not give one. After it felt like minutes had gone by, you spoke again.
"Look, if I did anything to upset you, or offend you in any way, I'm really sor-"
"That's not it." Krem interrupted suddenly, his voice more firm than it had been all night. "I just...I don't know how to say this."
This was not at all how Krem expected your meeting to go. Did he want you to know how he felt? Sure. But that didn't mean he ever thought he would work up the courage to actually say it. But here he was, swallowing his pride and getting ready to tell you everything. Whether you accepted him or not. 
"Look, Y/N. I don't really know how to say this...but I'm going to say it anyway, so...I have feelings for you. Feelings that a friend shouldn't have. I'm attracted to you." 
There was a long pause between the two of you. You stared silently at Krem, wide eyed and speechless. And Krem chose to stare at the sheets on the bed, his hands visibly shaking as he gripped the fabric beneath the two of you. This silence only lasted seconds, though they crept by like minutes before finally you spoke. 
"Wait, you have feelings for me? Like, the romantic kind?"
Krem swallowed, nodding. He still refused to look at you, until you placed your hand on top of his, squeezing slightly. This made him finally look up at you, his eyes almost as big as his ears. 
"Krem, I feel the same way." You admitted. Much to your surprise, Krem scoffed. 
"You? Why would you have feelings for a Ferengi like me?" He asked. His words hurt you, but not because you were offended. Instead, your heart hurt for Krem. Had he really been treated so poorly his self confidence had been reduced to nothing? Sure you knew Krem had problems, insecurity being one of them. But was it so bad he couldn't imagine someone having feelings for him? You didn't like that one bit. 
"I do have feelings for you Krem. And if you're not going to believe me, I would be happy to prove it to you."
Now this interested Krem. He immediately sat up straighter, his eyebrows raising as he stared at you. 
"How would you do that?" 
You slide your hand down Krem's clothed torso, brushing them along the clearly defined hardness in his leather pants. The hint of his size and how solid he feels makes your mouth water. It was a bold move, certainly, but the look of immediate satisfaction on Krem's face told you he didn't mind you making the first move. Krem's eyelids fluttered slightly, and he sunk farther down onto the mattress. 
"O-Oh...I didn't expect you to be so...bold." He admitted as you kept your hand on his bulge. His breathing was already becoming heavy despite such a simple touch. You found it oddly endearing how sensitive he was. 
"Well, it is part of my job, Krem." You reminded him. Before Krem could respond to your teasing, you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Then another to his jaw, and more small pecks travelling from his jawline up to his temple. 
You swung one leg over Krem's waist, moving to straddle his hips. And if Krem was trembling while confessing to you, he was nearly vibrating now. But despite his nerves, he managed to grab onto your thighs. 
“Oh, God.” Krem gasped as he felt your lips move across his face. His breaths were coming out quick and heavy, until you began to grind your hips down on the steel hardness in his pants, then it seemed as though Krem had stopped breathing all together. You stole a quick glance at the clock on the wall, seeing that the two of you had five minutes left before his hour was up. 
And you were going to make the best of those five minutes.
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queenharumiura · 2 months ago
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Neo, please, try your Yamamoto after he and Squaletta started kissing after few drinks and chemistry between them was unbearable. (Sorry, I am still stuck in our Yes or No thing where I think about them in romantic way XD I would be interested in his thoughts and emotions and everything. ♥️)
[Neo Game Time] || @squaletta Requested character: Yamamoto Kekek the game was for a muse I don't already write, but this is a creative way of using the game, so I accept it
Note: things may not be accurate and vague considering there is the added factor of Squaletta being added into the mix. I did my best because I didn't want to godmod too much or anything.
-
Yamamoto didn’t know about her tolerance, but he knew that his tolerance wasn’t so bad. He wouldn’t say he necessarily enjoyed drinking, but he didn’t hate it either. He wasn’t a lightweight, that’s for sure, and he rarely ever drank enough that it severely impacted his cognitive abilities. Maybe enough so it lightened him up some, but that was usually the extent of it.
Today was one of those moments, where a bunch of people had gathered around for some celebration, and he had gone out to the balcony to get some fresh air. The feeling of the night breeze against his skin was refreshing. He didn’t notice that someone was already on the balcony until she spoke up.
Naturally, he settled in next to her on the balcony, looking up at the stars. The rest of the party-goers inside were getting too chaotic and the vice-commander needed a break from it all. Just for a bit, it seemed. After seeing just how wild some of the Varia officers were being… anyone could understand her plight.
It was peaceful standing side by side enjoying the company of the other underneath the starlight, offering idle chatter with each other. They exchanged pleasantries earlier, complimenting how the other looked tonight. It was a formal occasion, so they did have to dress nice—but any swordsman or swordswoman would be remiss to attend an event and not account for the possibility of an attack. They of course wore something that looked nice but would be practical enough IF anything were to happen.
In the middle of their conversation, “huh? Where did Yamamoto go? Has anyone seen him?” Hearing his name, Yamamoto’s attention was piqued. About to turn back into the event hall, he stopped when he felt a tug on his arm. Squaletta pulled him deeper into the corner of the balcony, out of sight. No one would see them unless they walked out into the balcony and looked in the corner. As (un)luck would have it, someone did step out into the balcony and turned her head to the side. “Oh-”
With being caught off guard from being pulled, Yamamoto stumbled, and he had to push out his arm to stabilize his footing. How this looked to the onlooker who had just witnessed them? “Hahi… the fabled ‘kabedon’…” She quietly whispered to herself. Turning around, “No one on the balcony! Maybe he’s gone to the restroom? Has anyone checked there?” Don’t you worry! Haru isn’t a snitch and she won’t let the others interrupt your moment! (OuO)b
Looking down at Squaletta, who he’d accidentally caged with his larger physique. For a moment (he’d blame the alcohol), he lost himself in admiring the way the starlight shone against her skin, especially her lips. Her eyes were pretty too, and it wasn’t to say that he just found the color of them pretty. He always liked how her eyes always sparkled with confidence, with a fire full of aspiration danced, drawing in anyone who had a similar penchant for constant self-improvement. That was something he respected about her, her constant drive to be better. She-
Squaletta moved, and that’s when he quickly realized he’d been staring at her for too long. Knowing that Squaletta appreciated her space, he’d quickly took a few steps back.
“Haha, sorry ‘bout tha-”
Before he knew it, a pair of lips come onto his own, and the feeling of something tugging on the front of his suit brought him out of his stupor. Brown eyes, initially stupefied, gained a light of understanding. Yes, it was surprising, sure, but… it felt right, somehow? A bit impulsive, but where’s the harm in that, right?
Lips parted, and he let his instincts guide him as his arm wrapped around the small of Squaletta’s back to bring their lips together once more. A hand caressed her cheek gently before playing with her soft hair. He’d loved the way her hair looked, especially in the midst of battle. The way it danced in the breeze was mesmerizing.
Lips parted just briefly, for just enough time for them to catch their breath before their lips came together once more like magnets desperately trying to attract the other again. For now, the only two people who existed where the both of them. No one else mattered.
-
How willing am I to pick up character: I already have so-- lol
Other notes: Mmmmnnn due to the fact that this is a muse that I already picked up, I won't go through the thing where I explain where I got some of my inspo and such. Those secrets are staying with me fufufu. Also read as: I'm lazy. You're free to ask me on discord tho if you've any specific questions!
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pierfangs · 1 year ago
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@pierprincess : can i ask . . . what happened? question prompts ; accepting.
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    𝖉𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖉  𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖜  𝖍𝖊  𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉𝖓'𝖙  𝖍𝖎𝖉𝖊  𝖈𝖊𝖗𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓  𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘  𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗,   as  much  as  he  had  his  secrets,  somethings  couldn't  be  hidden  due  to  the  marks  left  behind.   scars  left  on  pale  skin  revealed  a  lot  more  than  he  wanted  and  he  wouldn't  be  able  to  get  rid  of  them.   certain  things  never  left  a  mark,  but  if  the    𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓   is  to  harm  someone  like  him,  then  a  permanent  reminder  stayed  behind.   sure,  some  had  faded  with  time  like  it  does  for  humans,  but  he  remembered  everything.   which  scar  belonged  to  which  moment,  the  ones  that  were  a  punishement,  the  one  that  he  was    𝖑𝖚𝖈𝖐𝖞   hadn't  killed  him  back  towards  the  end  of  1920s,  each  and  every  single  one  a  painful  lesson  that  he  had  learnt.   he  couldn't  hide  them  forever,  not  from  star.
    𝖍𝖊  𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖜  𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖚𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞  𝖍𝖊𝖗  𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘  𝖇𝖚𝖙  𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌  𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊  𝖜𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉  𝖜𝖎𝖓  𝖔𝖚𝖙,   she  had  never  said  anything  about  the  scars  on  his  hands,  but  he  knew  she  was  aware  they  were  there.   whether  she  realised  she  was  doing  it  whenever  he  didn't  wear  gloves  around  her,  he  would  sometimes  feel  her  fingers  tracing  them  as  if  she  was  trying  to  erase  them  from  his  skin.   he    𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗   said  anything,  he  didn't  draw  attention  to  it  and  he  didn't  want  to  admit  that  he  actually  liked  it.   but  david  knew  that  eventually  she  would  ask  and  he  couldn't  run  from  that  moment  even  if  he  wanted.   there  was  no  hiding  especially  when  she  had  caught  him  changing  out  of  a  blood  stained  top  into  a  clean  one.   he  had  been  pre - occupied,  his  mind  elsehwere  which  had  allowed  for  her  to  sneak  up  on  him  before  he  was  fully  clothed  again,  seeing  the  collection  of  scars  that  littered  his  back.   he  tensed  up  at  the  sound  of  her  voice,  unsure  of  what  exactly  to  tell  her.   david  had  told  her  that  they    𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗   die,  but  never  mentioned  that  they  could  be  hurt.   he  would  always  make  sure  that  no  harm  ever  came  to  her.
    𝖎𝖋  𝖍𝖎𝖘  𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙  𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉  𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖙,   he  was  sure  it  would  be  racing  right  now.   for  a  moment,  he  didn't  dare  move,  unsure  of  what  exactly  she  must  be  thinking  at  what  she  was  seeing  right  now.   david  didn't  dare  turn  around,  knowing  the  state  of  his  chest  was  not  much  better  than  his  back.   he  couldn't  bear  to  look  at  her  right  now,  he  knew  she  would  want  to  try  to  make  things  better,  but  she  can't  undo  things  and  rewrite  the  past.   sighing  softly,  pulling  the  long  sleeved  top  on  and  finally  turning  to  face  her,  shaking  his  head  as  he  doesn't  really  look  at  her,   "   i  made  mistakes  and  paid  a  price.   that's  all  that  was,    "   david  admits,  knowing  that  didn't  exactly  answer  her  question  and  she  was  bound  to  want  more  out  of  him  than  what.   looking  at  her  finally,  unsure  of  what  to  say  or  do,  he  wasn't  quite    𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊   with  her  in  this  moment,  but  he  knew  it  was  likely  if  he  didn't  give  her  something  right  now,  she  would  go  looking  for  answers  elsewhere.   he  knew  she  had  been  asking  dwayne  about  him,  which  was  on  him  for  not    𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌    a  lot  about  himself,  but  he  was  worried  that  if  she  saw  more,  she  wouldn't  like  what  she  saw  and  she  would  run,   "   i  don't  want  you  to  feel  bad  for  me,  star.   they're  just  scars,  that's  all,    "   so  much  for  actually  telling  her  something,  but  he  couldn't  give  her  answers  without  revealing  too  much  and  there  was  someone  he  had  to    𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙   her  from.
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joaquinwhorres · 4 years ago
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gazes (joaquín torres x reader)
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SUMMARY ››››› It's become increasingly apparent to Sam and Bucky that you and Joaquin cannot take your eyes off each other. Unfortunately for them, you two have decided to be Professionals and that means keeping your eyes, hands, and lips to yourselves. No matter how difficult it is.
WORD COUNT ››››› 3,716
WARNINGS ››››› sexy times implied
A/N ››››› Ok so these headcanons y'all have been sending me are incredible. I read these two back to back and I just had to write something connecting them.
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The kid had no tact.
Sam wasn't exactly sure why he expected more from the guy who'd led into his theory that Steve was on the moon by referencing vague internet rumors, but even despite that, he'd assumed Joaquin possessed some sense of subtlety.
Instead he was over at the leg press trying and failing not to stare at Y/N as she bent over at the middle to help Bucky push deeper into the stretch.
"You know she could hit you with a harassment claim for staring at her like that."
Joaquin jumped, the weights dropping suddenly with a loud clang. Across the gym, Bucky laughed as Y/N whipped around to face the two men. "Everything ok?" Her voice sounded genuinely concerned, and Sam couldn't help but smirk as Joaquin turned towards her, giving a little wave.
"Foot slipped," he answered, and she nodded, turning back to Bucky quickly.
"Foot slipped," Sam mocked.
"Dude, you scared the shit out of me."
"If you paid half the amount of attention you give to Y/N to your surroundings, you'd have known I'd been standing here for three minutes."
Joaquin gave a defensive scoff. "I wasn't staring at her--I was just--" he stopped, searching for an excuse, and Sam raised his eyebrows.
When it was clear Joaquin couldn't find a convincing enough lie to end the sentence, Sam shook his head. "You know, if you talk to her, she might actually let you take her out."
"I talk to her," Joaquin protested.
Sam shook his head, uncrossing his arms. "No, I mean talk to her. Chat her up. You've gotta have some game, right?"
"I've got game..." His sentence trailed off as he turned to look in her direction, finding her standing over Bucky's feet with her hands on her hips. "But like, we're co-workers, you know? I don't want to make things awkward around the gym or the compound or anything."
"Joaquin," Sam said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You're already making things awkward."
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"He's staring at your ass again."
"And you're trying to get out of stretching again," you quipped, moving Bucky's leg closer to his chest. The super soldier tilted his head as if to acknowledge the legitimacy of your accusation.
"Doesn't change the fact that I think you're about to give him a heart attack."
"I highly doubt he's worried in the slightest about my ass. He's probably zoned out."
"He's definitely focused in...on--"
"On my ass," you finished, shaking your head. You might have given Bucky's claim a little more credence if it weren't for the fact that Joaquin Torres had been anything but the consummate professional towards you. He was friendly and upbeat and welcoming, and one of the few genuinely good guys you'd ever had the pleasure of working with.
You'd never caught him staring once, and it's not like the boy was exactly known for subtlety. Last time Bucky had asked him to cover for him so you couldn't come down and teach him the right way to train his body, he'd told you that Bucky had left the compound to get you a thank you gift for all of your hard work. All while staring at the gym door.
The heavy sound of weights falling against each other echoed throughout the gym, and you spun around to face the sound. Sam hovered over Joaquin's shoulder, the latter no longer working the leg press but instead looking as if he'd just received the scare of his life.
Bucky broke into laughter, and you smacked at his leg.
"Everything ok?" you called out, and Joaquin smiled, giving a sheepish little wave at you. "Foot slipped."
"It's a good thing he wasn't at the bench press. You might have killed him."
Your head snapped back to Bucky who was giving you a shit eating grin.
"You're an asshole."
"I'm right."
"Do you think if I ask nicely Wakanda will take you back?"
"So you know I'm right."
You chanced a glance back at Joaquin who was still talking to Sam before turning back around and placing your hands on your hips. "I'm calling Ayo."
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You were running early.
Not to any event in particular, but just for the general course of your day. It was rare for you to wake up to your first alarm so completely refreshed, and with a fully awake brain, you found it much easier to navigate the morning. You were able to get dressed without crawling back in bed for a few more minutes, and didn't have to battle with sleepy indecision when choosing what you wanted to eat for breakfast.
One thing after another just continued to roll your way, leading you to the gym much earlier than usual.
And that's where the luck stopped.
Or maybe it didn't stop. But it definitely took a turn. Because while you fully expected someone else to be in the gym already, you hadn't expected just one person to be in the gym. And even if you had, you wouldn't have guessed that that one person would be Joaquin. And if, for some reason, you'd had the foresight to sense that, you definitely never would have pictured him to be running on the treadmill shirtless.
You stopped in your tracks, eyes falling to the bouncing dog tags on his chest and then lower to the well defined abs you'd somehow never seen before.
It felt like you'd seen just about every man in this compound shirtless. At some point, they all seemed to strip in the gym or during one of your group training classes you ran for those who weren't field agents. Bucky was shirtless half the time you worked together. It was so normal, you hardly even blinked an eye anymore. Seeing Sam without a shirt was more rare and quite the sight, but it'd never caught your breath quite like seeing Joaquin. Joaquin, who had never so much as worn a tank top in the gym, Joaquin.
And now here he was, chest bare and heaving, feet pounding rhythmically against the treadmill, hair still messy from his pillow and sweat. Your brain couldn't seem to function correctly, offering you images of the sight before you, only closer. Much closer. Hovering inches over your stretched out body as the headboard behind you rammed into the wall with the force of each thrust--
"Hey," Joaquin greeted, noticing you standing off to the side. You blinked, heat rushing to your face as he turned the treadmill down to a more leisurely pace. "Something wrong with my form?"
It was tempting to lie and offer to "help him fix it." Or to be completely honest and tell him you'd never seen a human form as perfect as his.
But neither of those responses were professional or even appropriate, and you needed this job.
You swallowed, shaking your head. "No, I was just wondering why you were wearing those," you said, gesturing to his dog tags, and allowing your eyes to fall to his chest once more. You followed a bead of sweat as it rolled down his body, heading to the waistband of his shorts. Joaquin reached to touch his tags, causing them to jingle together once more and pull your attention up to him.
"It's hard to let them go," he smiled, ruefully, hitting the button so the belt slowed even more. "I'd say it's a habit, putting them on, but at this point they're just like a part of me."
You nodded, wishing you'd taken this conversation anywhere but to the idea of dog tags and what they stood for. It wasn't so much a mood killer but a guilt inducer because instead of you feeling embarrassed and somber, all you wanted to do was grab them and pull him closer to you.
He must have read the conflict on your face because he gave a crooked smile. "Yeah, sorry, it's kinda morbid."
"No," you shook your head, clearing it of the daydream induced fog. "I probably shouldn't have asked."
"No, nah, it's cool," his smile grew into grin, as the belt came to a stop. He leaned his forearms against the console, staring at you as if waiting for you to continue the conversation. Which you were not equipped to do with a smiling and shirtless and sweaty Joaquin Torres right before you.
"Well, thanks for being cool about it," you said with a nod.
My God, something was wrong with you. They were just abs. And sure, maybe the abs belonged to the man who not only found the time to moonlight as a superhero but star in your increasingly dirty dreams of late, but it was just a body party that you'd seen a million times.
But never on Joaquin.
You blamed everything your brain was doing to you on Bucky and all of his stupid comments about Joaquin's supposed fixation on your ass. You wondered what he would say if he could see you now. "And I thought I was half machine. I could practically see your brain short circuiting." or "If that's what you're like when you see him half-naked, how are you ever going to--"
"Yeah, of course," Joaquin said, still smiling, his eyes lifting up over your shoulder as the other door to the gym opened and Sam came in. "Hey," he greeted with a jerk of his chin.
"Hey," Sam said, drawing closer, his eyes on you. You forced a smile on to your own face, and lifted a hand, not trusting anything that was coming out of your mouth.
"You're here early," the other man said, stepping onto the treadmill next to Joaquin's, and putting his water bottle down next to the machine.
Both of them were looking at you now, and it's not like you could handle staying in this gym any longer. "I came down looking for my water bottle. I think I left it here yesterday."
Sam raised his eyebrows glancing around the gym, and Joaquin stepped down off of the machine. "Do you want help looking for it?" he asked, and your whole body seemed to tense up at the idea, your brain transporting you to a future scenario where the two of you wandered around the room, Joaquin next to you or behind you, so close you could feel the heat radiating off of him, all the while searching for a water bottle that was sitting on your dresser.
"No." Your voice came out too high, but you tried to play it off, shaking your head. "I've already interrupted your workout enough. It's either by the weights or not in here."
"Alright," he nodded. "If you need any help looking around the compound though, let me know."
"Thanks," you said. And then you gave another stupid wave and beelined it for the weight racks because you had to get out of here.
You made a show of looking next to each section of weights, even bending over to check underneath of them as if it could have been knocked under somewhere. After you felt an appropriate amount of time had passed to be convincing, you straightened up, empty handed. You turned back to Joaquin and Sam, both watching you rather than continuing their workouts as you might have hoped.
"Not here," you called back with a shrug and then left the gym and headed straight up to your shower.
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He was nothing if not predictable.
The minute Y/N bent over to check behind the weight rack, his eyes were glued to her. Or perhaps more accurately, the bright teal spandex shorts she wore. As she pulled herself back up from searching for her water bottle and turned to them, Joaquin quickly looked to Sam as if the two had been talking the whole time and then "casually" returned to her.
"Not here!" she said, shrugging and then walking out of the gym, her footsteps quick and purposeful as she left through the door Sam had just entered by.
"So, what'd I interrupt?"
Joaquin looked up at Sam as if remembering he was there. "What?"
"You know, when the two of you were sitting by this machine making eyes at each other? Did you actually say anything to her or….?"
Joaquin shook his head. "No, she just came in and, uh, we chatted for a second, and then…" he trailed off, as if not fully remembering any of the past ten, twenty, however many minutes.
"You just chatted," Sam repeated, the disbelief on his face edging into his voice.
"Yeah," Joaquin nodded.
"Anywhere in this chat you finally ask her out?"
"Nah, it didn't feel right."
"It didn't--she was practically taking off the other half of your clothes with her eyes," Sam sputtered, gesturing to Joaquin's shorts.
The kid laughed and shook his head as if Sam didn't know what he was talking about. Joaquin moved to exit the gym as well. "I'll see you later, man," he said, leaving a very exasperated Sam behind.
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Bucky Barnes was a motherfucking liar.
"Let's grab a drink on Friday," he said.
"Consider it me making it up to you for being such a pain in your ass," he said.
"I'll buy," he said.
Mothefucker.
This wasn't just you and your favorite co-worker getting a drink. This was a goddamn set up. Because one hour and three mojitos into the night, Sam and Joaquin walked in the front door.
"I fucking hate you," you said, glaring up at his stupid smug face.
"Well, what a surprise, he grinned, as you shook a finger up at him.
"I told you in confidence I'm a flirty drunk."
He snorted, giving you a look out the side of his eyes. "You told me you were a flirty drunk after you sent me several highly inappropriate drunk text messages about what you wanted to do to a certain Lieutenant, who," the self-satisfied smile was back on Bucky's face. "Is making his way over to us right now."
"When I get home, I swear to God, I'm buying you a ticket to Wakanda."
Bucky quirked an eyebrow. "You're not going to do it now?"
"I didn't bring my credit card because you said you were paying," you huffed.
Before Bucky could respond, Sam and Joaquin were next to the two of you, greeting Bucky with hand slaps and one armed hugs. Sam came around and wrapped an arm around you first before sliding into the seat next to Bucky, and Joaquin came forward, giving you a quick hug.
Which was a first.
More than the feeling of his back underneath your palm, or the way he seemed to emanate warmth, you were done in by how absolutely incredible he smelled. But before you could fully identify whether it was his shampoo, a cologne, or just him, he pulled away and took the only other available seat near the group--the one next to you.
"I see you started without us," Sam said, raising his eyebrows at the assortment of glasses that sat before you. Most of them were Bucky's as he downed beers faster than should have been humanly possible.
"Hard drinker, huh Y/N," Joaquin teased, shooting you a smile.
"Pfft," you dismissed. "Only three are mine."
"Three?" Sam asked, leaning forward to better look at you. "How long have you been here?"
"An hour," you said, completely unnecessarily leaning forward too.
Bucky shrugged. "I got the time wrong."
"Guess we better catch up then," Joaquin said, and you sank back into your chair, narrowing your eyes at him in challenge.
"If you can."
They did.
You were outpaced fairly quickly against the two soldiers and one super soldier. The rum-induced fuzziness around the edges of your brain was compounded by having Joaquin so close to you. At some point he'd pulled his chair a bit closer to yours so that he could better hear the conversation, and you don't remember when it happened, but his arm had also slid around the back of your chair. To your relief neither Bucky nor Sam seemed to acknowledge this. In fact, Bucky was positively quiet and normal all things considered. Everything was going better than you could have expected.
Until the music kicked up.
Sam was the first to be dragged onto the dance floor. He was Captain America. Of course he'd been targeted by the stunning girl in the red dress who'd only had to come up and ask "Does Captain America dance?" to succeed in pulling him off to the dance floor.
Bucky was next. Although he wasn't tugged onto the dance floor by his hand the way Sam was. It was the sight of the person in the tight black number that did him in, luring him away to the dance as if drawn by a magnet.
And then it was you and Joaquin, sitting at the bar. Alone. Together.
You looked up from your drink, pushing the straw down into the ice to stir up the clinking sounds, and he took a swig of his beer before putting the bottle back down on the bar.
"Alright, let's dance," he said, nodding with his head towards the crowd, and you let out a disbelieving snort.
"I don't know how to dance. I mean, I can dance," you attempted to clarify, although you had a feeling words were failing you at the moment. "But that's real dancing, and I can't do that."
"I guess you're lucky you have a really good teacher asking you to dance then," Joaquin grinned, holding out a hand. You looked down at his open palm, hesitating only for a second before you slid your hand into his and jumped down from your chair.
He led you out through the moving bodies expertly, dodging couples who were clearly more into the dancing than each other and couples where the complete opposite was true. The small bit of space he found you was closer to the center of the dance floor than you'd usually feel comfortable with, but when he turned towards you with that look on his face, any of your residual anxiety had vanished.
"Ok, come close," he said, and you took a small step closer to him, causing him to laugh. "Closer." He gestured, and you moved forward some more, Joaquin's hands finding their way to your hips and pulling you even closer. His hands rose, one finding its way to your mid-back, pushing your elbow up to rest on his, as the other took your hand and placed it over shoulder.
"This ok?" he asked, eyebrows raised, and you nodded, trying to keep your attention on him, his instructions and his words, and not the way that you could feel just about every part of him from the way he was angled against you. His right side was flush against your left, and his knee pushed between yours.
"Just follow me," he said, his head bent close to yours. Before you could even respond, he started to move, pulling you along with him through the dance. It was smooth and rolling and you'd never seen a guy able to roll his hips like Joaquin. He seemed to know exactly how to guide you, moving his body to push and pull yours along whenever you hesitated or felt lost, coaxing waves and movements out of you that you didn't know you could do. Each success was met with a small word of praise and a brilliant smile, as his hands shifted to hold you closer, and you wrapped your own hand around his neck to better feel and predict his movements.
It felt as if a fog had rolled in over the dancefloor, obstructing all else from view so it was just you and Joaquin, eyes locked to each other as you moved together, occupying the same space.
The song faded into the next one, and Joaquin stopped. You went to move backwards, to give him space and have him move on as many other of the more skilled dancing couples seemed to do, switching partners amongst each other. But he kept you close to him, hand sliding down to your waist.
"Now you can really dance," he teased, his eyes shining as they stared into yours.
"Only with you." It was supposed to be a self-deprecating joke, but it came out too quiet and earnest. Joaquin licked his lips, and your eyes followed the gesture, flickering between his mouth and his eyes.
You don't remember making the decision. You only remember, moving even further into his arms, and pushing yourself up to reach his lips with your own. He bent down to meet you, pulling you even closer and pressing his hard body into yours. His lips moved as slowly and sensually as his hips had, drawing you in and guiding you through a careful rhythm that promised much, much more.
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Sam sat with Bucky at the bar. Joaquin and Y/N had disappeared somewhere amongst the dance floor, hidden amongst the crowd.
"You think it worked?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam.
"If it didn't we're screwed," Sam shook his head, taking a swig from his drink.
As if on cue, the two emerged from the swaying bodies, hand in hand, sweaty and much happier than they had been when Sam had left them at the bar.
"We're gonna head back to the compound," Joaquin said with practiced casualness.
"Yeah?" Bucky asked, and Sam swore there was mischief literally glinting in his eyes.
"Yeah," Joaquin nodded too fast and too many times. "Yeah, Y/N forgot about something there…"
"What'd you forget?" Bucky asked, turning to Y/N with a wolfish smile.
"Nothing. We're going to have sex," Y/N said, flatly, causing Sam to nearly spit out his drink. "And if you say one more word, I know a pilot who will fly you to Wakanda himself. No ticket needed."
Bucky mimicked zippering his lips into a smug look, and she rolled her eyes before tugging Joaquin out of the bar by his hand. And he followed. Eyes glued to her ass.
935 notes · View notes
im-a-gaymess · 4 years ago
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How do I tell him?
Young!Tom Riddle x Male Reader.
7th Year.
Angsty Fluff? Contains suggestive/smut scenes.
Slight mention of violence (Just Tom wanting to punch the stupid out of people).
Summary: You and Tom are in love with each other, always were, though you only realize it after ending a pretty toxic relationship.
Word Count: 1786
A/N: I thought of this while listening to Strawberries & Cigarettes thought I'd share
[1:42 AM]
"Look, I'm not saying that I want their attention 24/7, it's just that, well, they don't ever try to make time for me. Even when I need them, they're never here. But I'm expected to be there for them at all times. I'm just so tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore." You sighed, lowering your head as your eyes wander around the ground.
You've lost sense of time, place even. Only once you stopped to take a breath did you note how late it became. As you raised your head you saw how dark it really was there. The clouds over the stars making their light nearly non existent, and the moon half hidden behind some trees.
And as your eyes travel all over the quiet, dark yet beautiful sky, Tom's attention is strictly fixed on you.
If only you knew how much that man felt at the moment. Really, he was almost overwhelmed with the amount of different emotions.
For one, how badly he wanted to punch your partner for how deeply they hurt you. He knew, from your previous vents, that there was so much more than them just having no time that bothered you. He wanted to make them cry out apologies with regret guilt for how they made you feel.
But also, he couldn't help but feel the need to hold you, keep you close to him, tell you how everything's going to be alright. How all he wants to do is protect you from all of the world's evil, to keep you from anything that could cause you harm.
Without you even noticing, Tom gently put his hand over yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on your hand. How can someone be so,, so endearing,, so loveable and be treated this way? How could someone ever look at him and want to use him? he thought, not brave enough to bring himself to tell you what he truly thinks of you.
"You know you deserve better, right, my love?" he asked, and you, all too familiar with the pet name reply with a little smile. "Would you be surprised if I said yes?" you chuckled, turning to face him, the sight of the boy in front of you making your smile grow a little bigger, causing the other to look at you with loving eyes.
"I still love them, though, I don't even know why, but I do. I still hope they're going to change, even when I know they won't" you continued, a short, awkward laugh leaving your lips.
"Believe me, sweetheart, I know exactly how that feels." he smiled at you, gently stroking your face with his free hand as the two of you continued to talk about everything, and anything, enjoying the company you gave each other.
[Following day, 4:27 PM]
Who knew that drawing in the library's restricted section would be so relaxing? Sketching animals, book covers, objects and even some random fellow housemates. It wasn't so bad, right?
But let's be honest, you were only using it as a means of distraction, trying to get yourself to forget about the fact that you're going to break up with your s/o. You don't even know how Tom managed to convince you.
Of course, it's for the best, you know that. Doesn't change the fact that you feel so damn guilty about it. I mean, why do you even? It's not like they value you, it's not like they won't have other people lined up to take their bullshit right the moment you decide to leave.
Okay, that's it. You're doing it, you're definitely doing it. You mumbled to yourself. After, of course, another art session in your little distraction place.
[5:54 PM]
What's the worst that can happen if I confess? I mean, it's not like the world would end, not like the world would explode and I'd be buried underneath layers of rock and lava.
You had him feeling something he's never even imagined he'd feel; he was nervous. His forehead full of sweat, causing his hair to stick on to him. What are you putting him through?
Friendship...That's all I am to him. I'm just a friend to [Y/N]. He only sees me as a friend. Nothing more than that. Maybe I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.
[6:11 PM]
To his surprise, Tom heard a knock on his door. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to see, yet even talk to anyone.
"Tommy? My love, are you in there?" You questioned quite loudly, making sure to be heard from across the wall.
That petname, you have no idea what it made him want to do. Did he want to have you underneath him, touch every little bit of your body? Did he want to show you that you're his? Hear you whine and beg for him to kiss you; and so, so much more than you could imagine.
It's not the time to get lost in such sinister thoughts, Tom, he mumbled to himself, finally walking over the room to let you in.
"Hello, darli―" before he could finish, you rushed into his arms. Wrapping your hands around your friend's waist as your head rested under his own. "I missed you all day, dummie" you spoke quietly, finally happy to spend time with him.
He was quite surprised to say the least, you weren't the type to enjoy going for any type of physical affection of any type, unless it was under certain circumstances. Especially the hug being so long.
He wasn't complaining, he adored it, but he couldn't help but worry. Was something wrong? Were you hurt?
"Love, as much as I enjoy moments like this, is there anything you need to tell me? Should I kick anyone's arse?" he raised his brow, looking down at you.
You shook your head, never letting go of the taller man, a smile appearing on your face. How cute he is when he's worried, you thought.
That's pretty much how the rest of the day night went. The two of you in each other's embrace, spending it in utter silence, just glad to be in your own little world together.
You told him, before going back to your dorm, about how you finally broke up with that douchebag, and was your man proud.
The couple next days, weeks even, went by quickly. You and Tom would hang by the library after classes to complete and give help with what the other might have been stuck on.
Tom walks towards you, so dangerously close, you can practically feel his lips on yours. A hand's glued on the wall next to you, right above your head. Your body pressed against a door, his knee right in between your legs, brushing against your crotch. His other hand pulling you closer by your waist, soon planting kisses all over your jaw and neck. You can't help but melt into his touch, his lips- you just want more, more of him.
You gasp, practically jumping up your bed. It was only a dream, wasn't it you thought, sighed in slight disappointment. You wouldn't like to admit it to yourself, but you've been thinking about Tom in a certain way lately.
That only made things worse for you. Because according to you, he would never see you that way. Because the way you saw it, Tom only ever thought of you as a friend.
And so thought he. He was just as disappointed every time he'd dream of the two of you being intimate, romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He was just as devastated when he woke up. Always went back to sleep hoping those wonderful dreams would go on.
Both of you had a few dreams like those. Some were a whole lot sweeter. Dates together, just the two of you softly making out with the sound of classical music in the background. All of this causing the two of you a bittersweet feeling, thinking that all of this was just hopeless dreams, impossible to come true.
════════════════════
Starry night, you and him, the lake, the full moon shining bright. There's nothing that could ruin this delightful night. It feels like a dream, so much that you even question the reality of what's going on.
"Is this...real?" you ask Tom, not taking your eyes off the sky you so dearly loved. He raised a brow at you, looking at you in a clearly confused expression.
"If it wasn't, we'd be doing more than just stargazing, love" he chuckled, really hoping you'd take it as a joke.
"What would we be doing then, darling?" you question once again, mocking the way he calls you petnames while at it, a visibly evil smile painted on your face.
Tom takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, turning to face his pretty boy. "Do you really want to know, [Y/N]?"
The usage of your name kind of, just a little bit, frightened you. Not in a necessarily bad way, more like in a 'I have no idea what to expect next' way.
"What would you do if I kissed you?" he smirked at you, feeling oddly confident, though your silence and shocked face slowly faded. He was about to mutter apologies 'till you let out a mumble. "I'd like that" you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
"What was that, my prince? Would you kindly repeat that for me?" he told you with a straight face, making you wonder if he truly didn't hear you. If only you knew the amount of pride he felt at that moment, barely four words and his mind wandering to so, so many things he knew the both of you would like.
The shade of your cheeks changed a bit, was it from embarrassment? Or from the idea that he may actually like you back. Either way, you did repeat what you had told him, blushing even harder as there was an ever-growing smile on your face.
Soon enough, Tom sat up, leaned against a tree nearby. Motioning on his lap, he asked you to sit there, and happily you did.
You've never seen him smile like that. He looked at you like you're the only person in the world. His hands firmly on your cheeks, slowly pulling you in.
Your arms instinctively went around his neck, tilting your head to the side in order to deepen the kiss.
Once you pulled away to take a breath, his hands rested on your lower waist, his eyes staring at you lovingly as they always did.
"You know I'm no good with words." you looked at him exactly the way he was looking at you; you were truly each other's everything. "I know, my prince" his hand wandered around his loverboy's hair, soon pulling him in yet another kiss.
He knew he loved you, and now he was sure you loved him too. Only thing is, he wasn't sure how to ask you to take over the world with him, but for now, he was happy with what you had, and so were you.
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sunflowershouto · 4 years ago
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if they thought you liked the other twin (osamu, atsumu)
𝐚/𝐧: i was suddenly struck by inspo for the miya twins so here's this -leo
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: pining fluff, friends to lovers, light angst with a happy ending
my haikyuu masterlist
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𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔
✰ Atsumu is so whipped for you.
✰ He enjoys the attention he gets for being a star player, and even the fangirls help to feed his ego sometimes, but he didn't care about any of them. Not like he cares about you.
✰ They don't really know him, so what's the point?
✰ You're different to him, though. You didn't care about the fans or the TV interviews, or any of the usual things that people noticed about him.
✰ You got to know him, and it made him want to get to know you back, and somewhere along the way, Atsumu fell in love.
✰ The only problem was Osamu.
✰ Well, maybe that wasn't the best way to put it. It wasn't like Osamu was doing anything wrong, but it was hard for Tsumu not to notice how much time you'd been spending with his brother.
✰ You'd come up to Osamu after practices and whisper something to him, and he'd nod, and Atsumu would have to watch as the two of you disappeared off somewhere that he wasn't invited.
✰ It killed him inside a little, since he'd always thought that he was closer to you than Samu was; if you had feelings for Osamu, then why hadn't you told him?
✰ He tried not to be a dick about it; he would whine a little whenever you and Osamu would disappear after practices, but what he was showing was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to how deeply he was hurting at the thought of you falling in love with his brother.
✰ It was after another practice, and there you were on the sidelines with that stupid freakin' beautiful smile that he loved so much. He was standing by Osamu as they packed their duffel bags back up, and he tried to ignore the pang in his chest as you jogged up, surely going to drag Samu away again.
"Atsumu!" you called. "Could we- Uh... Could we talk?"
That was a surprise.
He glanced to Osamu, who gave him a small nod before shouldering his bag and walking off the court without another glance. He couldn't even be nervous about whatever it was you wanted to talk about; he was just glad that he was finally the one that you were speaking to. "Sure thing, darlin'," he replied, picking up his bag and following you to a more private area.
"Okay, uh- Here goes: There's something I've been needing to tell you for a while, and-"
"Ah see..." Atsumu sighed, all of that hurt hitting him again like a ton of bricks. This was where you finally did it right? This was where you'd tell him that you and Osamu were together, this was where you'd finally rip his heart out.
"You... do?"
"Yeah." He tried not to sound bitter, but he found it seeping through anyway, a harshness weighing down on his inflection. "You and 'Samu are goin' out, right? Figured that out for m'self a while ago, darlin'. Ya don't gotta tell me."
"Wha-" You stared at him in bewilderment as the pieces click into place, and you realized what he'd been thinking all this time. You couldn't help it, and burst out into laughter, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth.
"What's so funny?" he asked, puffing his chest out slightly and crossing his arms. He'd spent so much effort trying his best not to lose his shit over the idea of you in love with Osamu, the least you could do was not laugh in his face.
"Atsumu, I am not dating your brother. In any way. I've never even thought about it. I asked you to talk because, well..."
"Oh. Oh m' God." And finally he got it.
"I really like you, y'know? And I was wondering if you'd want to go out sometime? Like, on a date? Osamu actually helped me make all the plans." You were far less nervous now, in part because of Atsumu's misunderstanding, but mostly because of the huge, goofy smile that spread across his face.
"So... I'm guessing you're on board?"
"Oh, sweetheart, you've got no idea," he chuckles, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing the top of your head. "Ya scared the hell outta me, y'know."
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𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔
✰ Osamu's feelings for you snuck up on him.
✰ He'd always been drawn to you, but he didn't think it was any different than anyone else. You were a cool person, and he liked that you saw him for him, and not as part of a matched set.
✰ He loves his brother, but can he be blamed for wanting some things to himself?
✰ He's not annoyed per-se when you start getting close with Atsumu—what he feels isn't harsh. It's more like a balloon deflating through a tiny outlet as he feels his importance to you slowly being overtaken by your friendship with Atsumu.
✰ He can't figure out why it bothers him so damn much when he sees you joking around with his twin, or even just cheering for him at matches.
✰ He doesn't place the feeling as jealousy until he's stuck at home, flicking through channels on TV until he lands on some crappy romance movie. He watches the two main characters play off of each other, and he can't help but realize that one of the leads reminds him of you.
✰ And then he pictures Atsumu across from you, and that awful feeling comes back to him, burning a hole in his chest.
✰ Strangely, it's not so bad once he knows what it is that he's feeling, because at least he can start to deal with it.
✰ Nonetheless, he's a little worried about you. Osamu can read his brother pretty well—well enough to know whether or not he has feelings for someone. Honestly, he'd never thought that Tsumu seemed interested in you.
✰ Valentine's day was tomorrow and Samu had been unfortunate enough to overhear a conversation between you and a friend.
"You're going to bring him chocolates?" Yua whispered to you, her eyes shining.
"Mhm! I think he'll really like them too! I'm gonna go home tonight and work on decorations for the box." You had no idea Osamu was listening, and if you did, you would have probably died on the spot.
"I think he'll say yes," she replied thoughtfully. "Some of the girls have been upset lately; they say that Miya-san really likes you."
Osamu wished in that moment that the earth beneath his feet would open up and swallow him whole. Had he been wrong? Did Atsumu feel the same way that you did? And worse, had a selfish part of him been hoping that you'd be rejected?
His jaw tightened and he turned away, careful not to draw your attention as he slipped off in the other direction.
He considered faking a cold the next day, but that was childish, wasn't it? He dragged himself out of bed and got to school, dreading lunch period, when he knew everything would finally come crashing down around him.
The bell rang for lunch, and he packed his things quickly, not wanting to be there to watch you confess to his brother.
Imagine his surprise when he felt a tug on his sleeve just as he reached the doorway, and turned to see you standing there in front of him.
"'Samu? Could we go somewhere a little more private?" you asked, tensing up slightly the way that you always did when you were nervous.
"Er... Yeah."
What? This wasn't at all what he'd thought would happen, and his head was swimming as he followed you to the library, staring at the brown paper bag that you clutched to your chest.
You ended up behind one of the taller shelves in the back, and Osamu's hands were twitching in his pockets as he stared down at you.
Time was moving agonizingly slowly as you opened the paper bag and withdrew a brightly colored, heart-shaped box.
OSAMU was written across the front in careful lettering, and the world stopped around him.
"Samu, I-"
"I'm in love with you," he breathed out, hands moving from his pockets as he stepped forward to place his hands on the sides of your face, closing the distance between the two of you in one fell swoop.
Before you could answer, his lips were on yours, and your heart was bursting.
He was grinning when he pulled away, eyes gleaming with adoration as he took in your smile.
"I love you too, you big dork. I... was not expecting this to go so smoothly," you admitted, reaching up a hand to brush back a lock of his hair.
He's beaming when he says, "Honey, you've got no clue just how long Ah've been wantin' to do that."
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underoostarks · 3 years ago
Text
Shifting Realities (1)
Summary: After years of being together, you finally told Tony about the truth— your ability to shift realities for your own desire.
Warning: fluff, a bit of angst
Word Count: 888
A/N: I'm new to writing fanfics so criticism are highly appreciated but please do approach me in a nicely manner! :)
A/A/N: If you wanted to see this chapter virtually you can go see it on my tiktok.
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It's been a while since you've got a grip on creating your own desire reality.
You've been introduced before with lucid dream but not this. When you've finally heard about this, you couldn't help but imagine what your life could've been if you're with Tony and taking care of him in everything.
You couldn't help but thought how is it to be loved by the genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist himself.
Would he really sacrifice himself for you?
Would he really change his playboy antics just for you?
Those little thoughts bottled up day by day that you just saw yourself already creating a script for your little scheme.
I mean, nothing would gone wrong, right?
You've been with Tony through sickness and in health, through the happiness and in the roughest time.
You didn't regret a thing about meeting Tony and loving him every single day. You both are like a match made in heaven.
Sure, there are fights and arguments that come along the way but that's also one of the reason why you guys are still continue loving each other. It only makes your relationship stronger.
You've never been this happy in your entire life and neither was he.
He's so sweet and everything. His eyes is one of the things that you love most about him. Those eyes that tells a story, the truth of what he's feeling.
Those soft delicate brown eyes that draws you deeper into him.
Those eyes that shines just like how the stars twinkles as you stargaze the night away, your head leaning to his shoulder, sitting comfortably in the forts of blanket that we specifically arranged because you've always wanted to experience that.
You've witness the entire galaxy revolving around in his eyes, the sight didn't help but complete your smile.
You're contented with this kind of life.
Though, there are rough times especially waiting for the Avengers to finish their mission and hopefully, your husband would come home in one piece.
You couldn't do anything but wait and distract yourself —by roaming around Tony's lab and tries to understand what he's currently working since it never fails to put a smile on his face when you took an interest to his work— until F.R.I.D.A.Y. notifies you that they are already home.
"I'm sorry, honey. Come again about what you're explaining?" You heard Tony asked as he walked towards you, his soft and calm voice pulls you away from your thoughts.
Yeah, right. Years of dating that led to marriage, you couldn't help but feel guilty as time passes by. You feel like you're committing a mistake and it's eating you alive so you've thought about opening the topic to Tony.
"That.. I, months ago.. I tried to—-to.." Your husband always knew when there is something wrong about you, and he sensed that you're in panic so he did what he always did to you.
He came beside you and sit, wrapping his arms around your waist as he makes you lay your head on his shoulder as he whisper sweet nothings in your ear, trying his best to soothe you calm.
"It's okay. Don't worry, sweetcheeks. I'm here."
Minutes has passed and you're calm and ready to explain it to him again. You pulled away from the hug and straight looked into his eyes.
"I'm not supposed to be here. There's another reality out there that I came from, and in that reality you didn't even knew me." You could see in his eyes that he's confused.
He wanted to ask you a dozen or maybe even a million questions on what were you saying but he couldn't find himself speaking.
You held his hands as you try to make him look into your eyes again.
"Look at me, okay.." Slowly, he finds your eyes and you couldn't help but tear up at his innocence.
"It's eating me alive and I wanted this out of my chest. That's the truth, afterall." You looked into the surroundings of the penthouse. "Everything that we've done together in this, should've not happen."
"Wait.." he looks at the ground, his mind is going around the place. Even with his high IQ, he didn't know any idea of what you're talking about. He's trying to wrap his head with the information you're trying to say but he couldn't bring himself to it.
"So.. you're telling me that in your reality-" he pulled his hands away from your grasp and stood up, slowly walking away from you. "I didn't know you exist?"
His mind can't grasp a thing about what you're trying to prove. Seconds after seconds, he's starting to doubt the existence of reality. He's starting to question what's real and fake.
"Yeah." You gulped as you follow his moves. Your voice broke but you hoped Tony didn't notice. "But you're happy anyway.."
That statement made him stop and turned his body onto you, leaning his upper body a bit closer to you.
"Are you hearing yourself? I don't think I could ever be happy without you." He looked at you, scoffing not believing you even a bit.
Your mind flashes moments of him, Robert Downey Junior, laughing, giggling, and smiling at the premieres of the Iron Man trilogy.
What a lie.
What a lie.
What a lie.
— NEXT
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mintmatcha · 3 years ago
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part of this universe
The candlelight hardly illuminates the hallway. Osamu picks up his feet as he walks, careful not to trip on the uneven cobblestone, as if he doesn’t know every dip and divet by heart. He's been doing this trip since he could walk, it's as much a part of him as anything else.
57 steps down the hall to the steps.
3 flights of stairs down, 14 steps each.
From the bottom step, about 14 steps away from the door, Osamu can see the glow of the kitchen’s fire and hear the crackle of it’s dying embers. The cook always lets the fire die out on its own and rekindles it in the morning, leaving the kitchen warm all night. In these winter months, it's the best place in the castle.
Osamu isn't surprised to see you sitting at the small table in the corner, the cutting boards and bowls prepared for tomorrow pushed aside. A small round of bread sits at your place, already cut into. As you pick bits of bread and slowly eat, you watch the fire, eyes locked on the dying dance. The fields still cling to the hems of your skirts- burrs and yellow pollen and drying bits of mud and a noticeable red stain- and the day is still heavy on your features. The princess must've been more demanding than usual- you're not smiling. Your face is just… neutral. Normal.
Anxiety clings to his throat. He's come to the kitchen secretly so many times, but this time the secret feels heavier. He's not here for a snack, he's here for you. Only you, solely you.
It takes a long moment before he can muster the courage to step inside. "You didn't wait for me."
You look up, surprised with stuffed cheeks, then your expression melts into a tired smile. "My lord, I didn't think you would really come."
Osamu joins you at the table, pulling the chair close enough that when he sits his knees brush against yours. "Why wouldn't I?"
Because he's a prince, the silence says. Because him being here could be bad for both of your reputations. Because he is far above your station.
"Wasn't sure if you were a man of your word." you say after a long moment, "I've had men of high stature try to play with my heart before."
Osamu isn't surprised by this, royals often find themselves entitled to the staff, but the idea of someone toying with you--
His fists are bunched against his thighs as he speaks. "I'm not like that, my lady."
"I told you- I'm no lady." you almost laugh, “Just a maid.”
"If you don't wish to be called my lady, give me your name."
"That's not necessary, my lord." you try to offer him the bread, but Osamu pushes it down to the table, never unlocking his eyes from yours. "Biddy is fine."
Osamu almost rolls his eyes at the title. Biddy is demeaning- barely above wench in his eyes. The princess only calls you that to be rude, to flex her power. "Why are you so against me knowing? Does the princess know your name?"
"Of course."
"Atsumu?"
You hesitate. "I- I believe Prince Miya is aware."
"Then, why not me?"
"Because." You glance back at the fire as you gnaw on your lip, as if the flames hold the answer you're looking for. Osamu thinks he's pressed too far, scared you away, and worry sets in. Before he can apologize, you speak again. "Because I'm afraid you'll use it for evil."
"Like witchcraft?" Osamu says, "Like I'm going to bewitch you with one single word?"
"I'm afraid you've already bewitched me, my lord." you can't meet his eyes, "I'm afraid if you say my name I'm afraid I’ll never recover.”
Osamu has the courage to take his hand from his own leg and place it on yours. "Then you’d know how I feel when you say mine.”
You melt into a smile. Osamu isn’t sure if those are stars in your eyes or the trick of a dying fire. Your hand finds his, calloused and chapped, and you both squeeze, drawing the other closer into each other, deeper into the moment. Time alone is so rare, Osamu has to physically swallow back gratitude as you lean forward, eyes half lidded, lips drawn into a soft pucker, waiting to connect with him.
Then, you pause.
“I have never called you Osamu!”
“Ah,” he grins and squeezes your hand even tighter, “Sounded just as sweet as I thought it’d be.”
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cuinaminute229 · 3 years ago
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Like no other pt 3
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Part 1  Part 2
Am I sorry? No
...
The sound of soft pattering against the window next to the bed brings you from the land of dreams, the room is splayed in the aura of lazy days full of rain. The blankets are a warm cocoon from the chill in the air. 
You feel safe and content. 
Soft rustling to your left makes the hazy fog of just waking up lessen but you don't want to start the day just yet.
"It's morning." You murmur out into the room before a hand grazes your bare shoulder underneath the blankets. 
"Stay." A whisper that's more of a sigh rather than a word makes you smile.
You immediately want to give in to the plea, you want to stay and ignore the world for just another day. 
"You know I can't." You whisper back and the hand that's on your shoulder travels further south, touch light as a feather, teasing.
"Stay," The plea is stronger now, more word than breath, "Please." 
Fingers graze soft skin that protects your ribs and you fight the chill that runs up your spine. "Stay." 
You let out a soft sigh before opening your eyes to see her.
Her eyes are so very blue, like the sky on a sunny afternoon, so blue and so bright and you feel like you're peering into her soul. 
There is nothing hidden in the depths of her gaze, all the yearning and hoping and wanting, you see it, you see all of it.
“Maria,” Her name a plea of your own. You don't want to hurt her, you don't want to tear this moment away from her, you don't want to do that. She’s so special and so beautiful, and she’s been your friend since forever. You don't want to cause her more pain than you already have.
You close your eyes when you feel her move closer, you can't look because there is so much in her eyes and you want to cry. “Please, please.”
Thunder sounds in the distance, the sky a darker grey. The rain has picked up in speed and force, thrumming against the window. “I want you to stay,”
You can feel her breath fan over your face, you can feel her against you. You feel her warmth and the softness of her skin, and you want to stay, you want to stay so bad. 
She’s slow, cautious when she leans closer, sharing the air you breathe. Giving you plenty of time to deny her, but you don't, you can't. 
You let her steal your breath, you let her pull you in, you let her make your choice.
The sky is blue when you look up, the few clouds are scattered to win a race that declares no winner. 
The sun is bright and daring, and looking down on you as the minutes tick by as you wait. Birds chirp and prance around the sidewalks as they look for anything edible, children laugh and scream in glee as they explore the park as parents watch like guardian angels.  
It’s peaceful.
“Hey there stranger, long time no see.”
You’re brought from your thoughts when you hear her voice and you give the blonde a smile when you catch sight of her, walking towards you with purpose and a smile.
“It’s good to see you too Carol.” You barely have time to stand from the bench before she’s pulling you into a hug that steals the breath from you. You’ve forgotten how strong she is, how amazing her hugs are as you relax in her embrace. “You can't leave for that long again. I won't let you.” 
You chuckle at her declaration. “I don't doubt it.”
Light brown eyes search your face when she pulls back, hands still on your shoulders. “How are you doing?” She asks and you give her a soft smile. “I’m doing good.”
She nods with a smile that you know all too well. “I’m glad you’re back, now come on.”
You follow her, slightly behind but close enough. 
“Where exactly are we going again?” You wonder aloud as Carol slows to walk beside you. She glances up as she thinks and you wonder if she misses the stars, the need for nothing to hold her down. “Where do you want to go?” She asks after a few steps, turning to look at you and the sun makes her hair shine enough that you remember the first time you saw her glow, she was glorious and proud and showing no fear. 
Carol Danvers is a sight to behold. 
“Lost in the stars?” She nudges your shoulder when it takes too long to respond. 
“Not the only one,” You tease her and she shakes her head with a grin. “Always.”
“How was the mission?” She rolls her shoulders back and pushes her hands in her front pockets as the two of you stop at a crosswalk. 
“You know I can’t tell you.” You say as you press the arrow button three times just for good measure. Turning to her when it repeats that you have to wait. 
“Well,” She shrugs her shoulders and you raise an eyebrow at her as cars breeze past, people hurrying to work or doctors appointments or to meet family, everyone seems in a hurry to get to where they need to be.
“You know the rules, captain.” You remind her as you reach out and press the arrow again because you can. “Yeah,” Carol lets out a sigh before she takes a step closer, her eyes glued on the traffic light. 
“You’re okay though, right?” She sounds concerned and you choose not to look at her as the light turns green and the two of you start walking. 
The seconds count down as you walk across the street, big and red as it gets closer to zero. It reminds you of a timer and you find yourself biting your tongue to stay in the moment, away from the memories that have shaped you as you are. 
“I’m back,” You tell her as if she doesn't know. “I came back when I didn't want to.” 
“I know.” Voice low and soft, a realization to what's already known.
The whispers of the morning linger as the day draws on and you’re not quite able to forget what happened. 
You don’t think you’ll ever forget what happened. 
The echoes that were drowned by the pouring rain, the feather light touches that seem to linger still, the view you see when you close your eyes makes you wish this morning never ended.
She was so beautiful, so willing to give you everything. So very- 
“How’s Natasha?” Maybe you're trying to distract yourself from your thoughts, maybe you really do want to know how she’s doing. Maybe you still aren't running if you ask about her.
You glance over at Carol who’s picking apart her sandwich, pulling the bacon off and placing it on the side of the plate, she looks deep in thought and you don't want to repeat the question again, not if she’s lost to the stars at the moment.
“She was worried.” Her words are well thought out, slow and calculated and you know she’s trying to say the right things. “When you left, everyone was.”
She wipes her hands off with a napkin and you wonder if she will continue. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving?” She finally looks up from the food to look at you, she looks hurt and you swallow the guilt that you feel. 
“I did tell someone.” You respond after a second where you wish you didn't have to face what you did. Carol nods and you choose to grab a fry and eat half of it so you don't have to say anything more.  
“Yeah, you told one person.” You see her nibble at her bottom lip and yes you do feel guilty. 
You clear your throat before explaining more. “I told who I needed to, that was it.”
“But you didn’t tell her.” No, you suppose you didn’t.
She picks up her sandwich, elbows on the table as she goes to take a bite and you want her to let this conversation go, let it drift past like the wind that rustles the leaves that still cling to the tree.
But she stops short, looks you in the eyes when she says her next words, and you swear for just a split second she wasn't your friend anymore.
“You hurt her.”
You look away from eyes that have seen past the universe, eyes that blaze like burning suns. You look away and pick up the napkin that’s resting next to your drink, bring it into your lap and wad the tissue up in a ball.
A part of you knows she doesn't mean to hurt you with her words, hopes that she doesn't intend to rip open old wounds and let them bleed free, prays that she doesn't mean to blame the pain you feel on you.
“She hurt me.” Your words are a weak whisper, a declaration on your behalf. She knows this, the entire team knows this.
It’s not a secret well kept.
You let out a sigh when you accidentally drop the wadded up napkin on the ground, watch it roll away like it doesn't want to share your burden.
“You hurt everyone when you chose to run away.” The judgment in her voice makes you clench your jaw. “Do you know what happened after you left?”
“Do you really think I’m oblivious to the pain I’ve caused?” You look at her and you make sure not to let her see how much it hurts. “Do you really think I did this on purpose? I left because if I didnt I don't know what I would have done if I stayed.”
Maybe you ignore the knot in your stomach that makes you want to vomit, maybe you ignore the look in her eyes when she realizes that she might have pushed you too far, but you dont ignore the people who turn your way, the ones who eavesdrop and gossip.
The two of you have brought more attention to you than you're comfortable with. “I’m leaving.”
Your half eaten sandwich and few fries that are left stay on the table as you get to your feet and walk away.
The smell of salt and the view of the sea does nothing to help the nausea you feel. It should be relaxing and calming and able to push your worries away but it doesn't help.
You see the waves crash and chase each other, never still for more than a moment. The gulls that ride the breeze as it drags the smell of the ocean through the air, the pelicans that are not bothered by the crashing of dominance as they only look for fish close enough to steal.
It reminds you of home, of days full of sun and sand. Treasure hunts to find the biggest and prettiest shell you could, races to see who could build the tallest sandcastles. 
You wish it wasn't accompanied with the guilt in your stomach and the weight on your shoulders.
You want to run back to before you left your bed, you want to feel what you felt then. Safe, content, loved. 
You want to hide under the covers and bask in the warmth of the person next to you, you want to memorize the depths of the sky.
But here you are standing alone on a pier looking out at the sea feeling sick to your stomach and terrified of what you have to face.
You feel like such a terrible person.
For running, for feeling so many things you think you might break, for wanting to hang the towel up and say that you’re done, for begging for an excuse to not look her in the eyes. 
You wish that you never bought that ring, you wish you never even considered the idea. To want to marry her, to want to share her name, to want for things you knew were out of reach.
With a breath that brings you almost to tears, you try to ignore the way your feelings seem to bleed out for all to see.
You love her, you still love her. You don't think you'll ever stop loving her. But Natasha chose what happened, she decided that you weren't enough, that she wasn't enough.
“I’m sorry.” You watch as a boat moves through the sea at a crawl, slowly growing smaller as it bravely sets out for some adventure you hope is fulfilling. 
“I don't want your pity, I don't want your regret.” You say the words you hope she will listen to as you lean back and gaze at the sky, hands still holding the wooden railing. 
You let out a breath that is stolen by the breeze as you force yourself to leave a fraction of your pain where you stand. 
The view above you is still so blue and bright, not a cloud in sight and you remember this morning with a sad smile.
You've always loved how Maria's eyes share the color of the sky.
“I just want you to be my friend.” You turn to the blonde when you speak those words. 
“Okay.” She nods and you give her a smile before letting go of the railing and walking back to the beach. She doesn't say anything more as she comes to walk beside you and even though you know there is something on her mind you choose to take what she’s given you.
Steve greets you with a cautious smile when you finally give in and follow Carol to the compound and even though you still haven't completely forgiven him you smile back.
“How are you?” He asks after Carol excuses herself and you shrug off his comment with a shrug. 
“How are you? You look good.” You notice his hair is a little longer and he hasn’t shaved in a few days but he looks well rested and not so brought down by the weight of so many responsibilities that come with being such a hero. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” He nods and you watch as hair falls in his face. 
“You need a haircut buddy.” You tease him and Steve glares at you playfully before he runs his hand through his hair and that does absolutely nothing to fix it. 
“I kind of like it.” He admits with a shrug and you nod, it does look good on him.
“You just get back?” He asks and you smile through the lie. “Yeah, just got back.”
You follow him into the kitchen where you hear the familiar sound of the coffee maker, taking a seat on one of the empty stools that stand at the kitchen island as he goes to grab a cup from one of the cabinets.
“Why are you having coffee now?” You ask in curiosity and Steve does a terrible job at hiding his amusement as he places his cup next to the coffee maker and waits. 
“It’s not for me,” He gives no more explanation than that and you only wonder who it’s for, the coffee mug he chose doesn't look familiar.
“Cool, cool.” You nod before silence pushes its way between the two of you, and you can't help the selfishness you feel for blaming him for what happened back then, for not hearing him through when he tried to explain before you left. 
You felt so many things back then, so much and so deeply and you don't even know how you didn’t end up do something stupid or reckless. 
A part of you had wanted to follow her when she walked out, wanted to understand why she thought you weren't enough for her.
Maybe it was your pride, maybe it was your bleeding heart that rooted you down making it impossible to move, or maybe it was the fear of everything blowing up even more than it already had but you let her walk away.
“I don’t want what you want.” 
The words ring in your mind like church bells, loud and all consuming, echoing but never leaving you in silence. 
“I’m sorry.” The soft spoken apology brings you back from thoughts of the past and you blink away the tears that carry your pain.
“It's…” You trail off.
Not okay. 
You wish you could forgive him, you wish you didn't blame him even just a little but you do and you don't know when you can fully forgive him for something that wasn’t solely his fault. “You were only doing what I asked you to, it’s not… your fault.” He nods at your words before turning and busying his hands with pouring the coffee into the mug.
He told you once, before you got the courage to ask Natasha out, that he thought the two of you would be good for each other. That you should face the uncertainty of her feelings toward you with confidence, you would never know if you didn't ask, right?
“You’re still my friend Steve. That hasn’t changed.”
You call out as he’s about to turn the corner to leave the kitchen, you need him to know that. That no matter what, he’s still your friend.
He gives you a nod that lets you know you haven't lost him and you breathe a little easier.
...
“Hey,” You don't turn around to see her, you don't look up from the glass of brandy in your hands, you don't think you can. 
“It’s… good to see you.” 
“Yep.” You mutter as you finish your drink and place it down on the counter. “So good,” The sarcasm is clear in your voice and you ignore the urge to look up when you feel that she’s moving closer.
You don't want to look up, you don’t want to see her a year older than before. You don't want to feel your chest cave in when you see her, when the breath is stolen from you and held hostage.
You missed her, god you missed her so much and now she’s right here and you can’t even look at her. 
“I’m sorry.” Maybe it’s the drinks you’ve had or maybe it's the emotions that keep piling up that pull the words from you, but all you know is that they ring true. 
You’re apologizing to her and a part of you wants to snatch it back before it takes flight, before there is no way you can get it back. 
But you are sorry, for being weak, for falling head over heels for her, for loving her so much that she had to turn away to breathe. 
“I’m sorry.”
...
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