#before this year(2 years?) i almost always had smth i really liked | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cannellee · 1 year

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I just wanted to say I’m in love with your Tokyo Revengers Omegaverse so much, it hard to find a good Tokyo Revengers omegavers and often not, it doesn’t satisfy me. 😤😫😩

But, anyway way how would the Alpha Toman react to their omega nuzzle into them happily, like their omega let out cute happy chirping sound or just happy noises round them, and their scent is a light sweet fragrance like honeysuckle and orange or something flowery like rose/lavender, not only do they let this phenomenon out but it also mean their omega feels happy,safe and content round their Alpha.

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ★

୨୧ alpha! Tokyo revengers x omega! Reader (pairing : mikey, draken, baji, chifuyu, takemichi)

— their reactions to their omega feeling safe & happy with them (part 2)

my masterlist : ☆

(thank youu so much! I hope you like this one! sorry mikey's one is so unnecessarily long and detailed + unrelated to your request?? but I can't bring myself to start over😭 tbh mikey's one is more like "how would he react to you being assaulted or smth😭 I hope you still like it)

ALPHA! MIKEY

you were sure meeting mikey was the best thing that happened to you this year.

not one to start unnecessary fights, after mikey was provoked by your overconfident alpha, he didn't waste time beating him up.

your usually cocky alpha, who would force you into submission was now stuck at the hospital, freeing you from his controlling grasp. it seemed your alpha's pheromones triggered mikey's instincts, hence a much more aggressive reaction than mikey normally would have.

after the events, you coincidentally bumped into him multiple times. you clicked really quickly and after a while, you were finally dating.

mikey treated you really well despite all his antics and was the one who asked to treat you for food today.

you knew that by now, your previous alpha was fully recovered and probably roaming the streets again, but you felt safe with mikey so you found yourself not thinking about him often.

however, you were surprised to have him facing the both of you early this night. fuming and raging, his intentions were clear enough that you didn't need him to start pouncing at you to understand he was coming to get you back.

mikey once again stopped him with ease and you both promptly left soon after.

the incident and mikey's protective personality made him wary of every passerby on your way home.

you had forced him back inside your apartment. witnessing the events occurring before you, you even doubted mikey would have stopped beating that alpha if you didn't redirected his attention towards you.

once you guys stepped inside, you pulled him into your nest, snuggling into him.

you knew mikey was still tense from what just happened.

you released a sweet scent and let it reach his nose, hoping it would calm him down.

he answered your silent call by releasing his own pheromones.

no words were exchanged but almost all the anxiety he had from before vanished in an instant.

he leaned into you and began purring softly.

he laid his head on top of yours, you nose buried in his scent gland, showering you with his smell.

mikey was always protective, but having you next to him, vulnerable and so forgiving, he couldn't help but let out the urge that compelled him to keep you safe.

he treated you like you were made of glass and delicately lulled you to sleep, assuring you he would be there when you woke up and always shield you from danger.

ALPHA! DRAKEN

draken and you were out on a date, after taking you on his motorcycle for a while, you both decided to stop for a bit.

feeding into your cravings, he bought you your favourite icecream and led you to a safe place where you could hang out.

vigilant as always, draken subtly made sure your hideout was free of any danger.

he didn't want you to caught onto him being cautious as to not stress you out, and you didn't.

however, as you licked happily your treat you unconsciously let out a scent familiar to draken of orange and jasmine.

draken instantly snapped out of his previous state and directed his attention to you.

he smiled fondly and sat beside you.

sweet touches and gentle smiles, draken was head over heels for you, even though he remained calm in appearance.

asking if your icecream was good, you only responded with a happy chirping sound before letting out a short and cute purring.

he laughed slightly and patted your hair, letting your pheromones involuntary put a claim on him.

your scent alone could help draken calm down, he couldn't feel happier than he was right now.

ALPHA! BAJI

you were teaching baji how to cook.

you were tired of seeing him eating the same thing every day and decided to take the matter into your own hands.

it took a while, but baji finally got a hang of the recipe you were showing him.

it wasn't the best looking lunch you had, but since it came from your alpha you paid it no mind.

you half jokingly applauded his work and let out a few high-pitched sounds from were you were sitting.

those were probably baji's favourite sounds.

honeyed lavender, the softest and most pleasant scent he had ever smelled filled his nostrils.

he himself let out a low growl of satisfaction before dropping everything and heading to your direction.

you laughed lightly at his actions as he gently carried you in his arms.

baji was hugged by your familiar aroma, delighted by the refreshing scent of flowers and sugar he also spread his own pheromones.

his scent started enveloping you, strong and safe, as he trailed tender kisses all over your face and down your neck.

he always felt more protective during those moments, promising himself to always preserve your happiness.

ALPHA! CHIFUYU

you guys had decided to spend the day together watching your favourite serie.

this was surely one of your favourite way to spend your days off with your alpha.

after you finished arranging your nest with the last items chifuyu had scented, you both dug your way inside and started cuddling.

chifuyu's strong scent mixed with the sweetness of yours was a comforting mix that made you relaxed on the spot.

you let out more of your pheromones as a result.

you were practically drifting off to sleep as you felt so safe with chifuyu, you couldn't help it.

the familiar combo of cinnamon and lavender that always left chifuyu in a daze hit his nose softly.

he turned his head to you and snuggled deeper, rubbing your scent gland out of happiness.

his mouth widened into a large smile as he heard you let out low chirping noises.

knowing you felt protected in his embrace gave him a sense of purpose.

you made chifuyu feel complete.

ALPHA! TAKEMICHI

takemichi brought you to the bowling, you both shared this passion and enjoyed spending time together.

you spent a wonderful day and found yourself spreading happy pheromones all around you.

it was now night time and you were hanging out at the park.

once takemichi got a whiff of a sweet sugary smell, he whipped his head towards you so fast he almost broke his neck.

at his sudden action, you looked at him curiously before rubbing your head against his shoulder.

the only thing takemichi could breath was your pheromones, and you noticed his nostrils longing for more.

his flushed cheeks made you giggle, which caused him to shy away from your stare.

he snuggled closer into your neck, where your scent was the strongest and inhaled deeply.

your pheromones translated your blissful state and made takemichi feel all giddy, satisfied that you felt at ease and safe enough with him.

(part. 2 with sanzu, mitsuya, hakkai and kokonoi? others?)

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fakeuwus · 11 months

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RECKLESS | lee heeseung

now playing ☾⋆⁺₊🎧✩°｡ reckless by madison beer

"how could you be, so reckless with my heart?"

⁺ ⋆˚ genre: idol!hee x nonidol/university student!femreader, pure angst sorry lol, established relationship

⁺ ⋆˚ warnings: cursing, lowercase intended, barely proofread, mention of i-land LOL, lots of dialouge and idk if thats even a warning but had to put it out there, use of nicknames like babe/baby, infidelity

⁺ ⋆˚ word count: ~1k

⁺ ⋆˚ message from nic: wanted to put smth out while working on my jay fic!! got inspired by this show i was watching called "the game" (dont watch it its like highkey misogynistic and a bit racist and just overall so bad 😭) i wanted to rewatch it bc i used to watch it as a kid and now i realize how bad it was skdkd. but basically the bf is a pro football player while the gf is in med school and a certain plotline in the show inspired this 😁 also this is my first writing piece so pls be nice and feedback is appreciated!

heeseung slowly opened the front door to the apartment you and him shared, trying to be as quiet as possible since you were most likely sleeping. once he made it in he tip toe'd his way to your guys' bedroom. "did you have fun tonight hee?" you asked, while sitting on the couch with nothing but the lamp on. heeseung jumps, "holy shit you scared me! baby what are you doing up? come on let's get you to bed."

he walks over and tries to give you a kiss. you turned your head down only allowing him to press it to your forehead. you were pissed. actually, you were beyond that. words could not describe what you were even feeling at the moment.

you get up from the couch and stand before him, "you didn't answer my question. did you have fun tonight hee?" heeseung is perplexed by your tone. you sounded... hurt? angry? annoyed? all of the above? he tried to proceed with caution, racking his brain of all the possibilities of why you could be acting like this.

"uh... yeah babe, i had a lot of fun tonight. sorry i stayed out so late by the way. you really didn't have to wait up for me, you're probably tired." he was hopeful this was the right answer. it's gotta be, right? all you could do was stifle a cold laugh.

why the hell were you laughing? what was so funny? heeseung can feel his heartbeat in his ears and his skin was turning hot. you had never once acted this way in all of the years you guys had been together. it may not seem like a big deal to others, but you had always been so caring and sweet towards him.

even when you guys were arguing, your soft voice never changed. this was new. this was scary. you had a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes now and it seemed like you were staring into his soul.

"yeah heeseung. it's 2 am," you say sounding almost condescending, "but no i'm not mad that you stayed out so late. i mean i WAS, but after someone sent me a little something i realized there are worse things to be mad about." suddenly your phone is shoved into heeseung's hands. his jaw dropped. no. there's no way.

"who sent you this?! wait no it doesn't matter baby you can't believe this can you?" he reaches out for you but you pull away and start walking towards the front door to gather your jacket and bag, "so you're not even going to try to deny it? huh. i guess my friends were right." it makes him sick how you seem so calm on the outside, your words and actions treating this like one big joke while he's freaking out. he'd rather you be a crying, screaming mess than whatever behavior you're exhibiting at the moment.

you turn back around to him, "you think i don’t know who you’re giggling with on the phone while i’m sitting in the room studying for hours? that i’m stupid enough to believe that you’re not making out with her in that video? that i’m blind enough to not see the heart eyes you two make at each other while in the same room?” your words drip with venom and they shoot heeseung straight in the heart.

he feels like the room is spinning and he wants to faint. he wants to go up to you and hold you and tell you that she doesn’t matter, that you’re the only important thing in his life. but that’s not what happens. heeseung is too wrapped up in the moment to admit his wrongs.

frankly, he’s disgusted with himself and at a loss for words right now. he wants to convince not only you but more importantly to himself that he didn’t do anything wrong. and so he does. what comes out of his mouth next are words he’d soon regret. “WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO YN?! i’ve been so lonely lately because you’re so wrapped up in school and she’s THERE FOR ME. she’s been there when you weren’t. i wouldn’t have made out with her if YOU were at the afterparty with ME like i asked you to! we won four fucking awards tonight and i just wanted my girlfriend there to celebrate with me.”

and just like that, you snap. the jacket and bag in your hands are now thrown to the ground and heeseung flinches. “YOU ARE SO FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth right now?! i told you i have an exam tomorrow there was no way i was going to that damn party.”

tears are blurring your vision and your breath is becoming uneven. you don’t even recognize the man standing in front of you. “i have a life too heeseung. while you’re out chasing your dreams so am i. do you even acknowledge the sacrifices i have made for you over the past five years? tell me, was she there for you when you first became a trainee? was she crying for you every fucking episode of i-land? was she there every step of the way supporting your career?!"

heeseung doesn’t speak. he doesn’t move an inch yet his brain is moving a million miles per minute. he knows you’re right. he knows that you decline going out with your friends so you can wait for him to come home from practice. that your life only revolves around school and him. and he’s so eternally grateful for you. his heart yearns to express all the love he has for you and that he fucked up so badly. he just wants to fast forward to the part where you guys work through it and everything is okay again.

but that time is never going to come because you walk up to him with a heavy heart, placing the promise ring he gave you all those years ago in his hands.

he stares at the pretty diamond that shines in the moonlight, the only thing illuminating the darkness that’s consumed the space you both once filled with love. “i hope she was worth it,” you say as you open the door and walk out into the cold night. leaving heeseung and all of the memories of your relationship behind.

#nic's library ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚#fakeuwus #heeseung enhypen #enhypen fic #heeseung fic #heeseung angst #enhypen angst #lee heeseung #lee heesung x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen au #enha #fanfiction #fanfic

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m4rs-ex3 · 1 year

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people always make silly little lists of characters' crimes which i love but i'm gonna do smth a lillllll different

tdp character trauma log 🫶✨

callum

lost his father at a Baby age (the perfect age actually; young enough to be very emotional and impressionable but old enough to have to process it)

was thrown into a drastically different + high-key terrifying environment at Baby Age

lost his mother--his comfort person, his only connection to his og life (besides amaya), and also just an amazing individual--leaving him alone in said environment

was constantly belittled for being bad at the thing he never asked to be

lost his stepfather aka his only parent left and experienced an array of regret over what he didn't do while harrow was alive

almost watched his little brother down/freeze to death

was betrayed by his childhood friend

endured a severe dark magic sickness + traumatizing fever dream

almost choked to death

watched his whole world jump off of the highest point in the world

almost died plummeting off of the highest point in the world

was abandoned by Love of His Life for several depressed years

was literally fucking possessed

was taxed with the decision between becoming a vessel for the most dangerous individual in the world to destroy everything and hurt everyone he loves OR essentially ending his life (a conclusion he himself had to come to)

was under the impression that Love of His Life was dead (and he never got to tell her what he wanted to)

almost died pt 3

almost died pt 4-5

bound and brutally beaten + electrocuted (?)

watched the most important person in the world to him mercilessly tortured within an inch of her life

almost lost her AGAIN and had to destroy his entire moral compass in order to save her

tortured

almost died 6: choked pt 2

rayla

where do i begin

well first off grew up in the silvergrove and hey moonshadow elves i love ya but oh dear god -promotes "strength" and stoicism over discussing your feelings and admitting to your weaknesses -so bound (literally) by duty and oaths that faltering results in either being good as dead or dead as dead -ETC

equipped with a debilitating phobia of water--a fear most would see as bizarre and silly and exceptionally irrational--in a culture that as previously mentioned shuns fear to all hell

was left by her parents and (despite them having a perfectly good reason) never really healed

almost drowned which was not helped by the phobia

almost ravaged by an ancient vampire

an ASSASSIN who has to KILL PEOPLE but is a WHOLESOME SWEETHEART

haunted by her "constant" mistakes; her strengths get wholly overshadowed by her weaknesses

told by the father figure she revered that she is a stupid baby useless idiot (roughly)

was flatly told by Father Figure he expected to kill her (to which she's just like "fr prolly" good god girl you are fucked)

had to not only sit and listen to, but conform to horrid stereotypes she's been haunted by since she was a kid

nearly slowly lost a hand (and just straight up accepted like ik this isn't the point but i feel the need to address when she does some insanely broken shit)

saw a person wither to dust before her eyes i feel like we forget about this

almost died like pt 4 ish i literally cannot keep track what counts and whats too minor a near death experience and why do i have to ask these questions

watched the love of her life (shut up harry styles) suffocate in his sleep in her arms

almost died pt 5-8 ?

i once again don't even know where to begin this time with her ghosting. linking this post again but tldr she didn't do anything wrong, she believed she did, her society not only confirmed these suspicions but god they pinned her with so much more, and she was told that actually no and what the fuck is she supposed to do with that u just told her everything she knows is wrong and that she actually has worth and she is not keen on that mindset

almost died 9? i include this one bc soulfangs are terrifying

cooly came to the conclusion that she deserved to die for her parents mistakes (and fully intended on doing so)

almost died jumping off the highest point in the world

suffered from persistent nightmares

almost drowned (the phobia once again did not help)

was nearly killed by the dead former co-workers she feels responsible for killing

forced herself to leave behind Love of Her Life and if you don't think that was the hardest fucking thing in the world for her

spent two, miserable years alone, getting beaten down again and again (mentally and physically,) plagued by her vendetta, haunted by all she lost, never knowing comfort, never knowing love, and probably so much worse that we don't even know woohoo!

thought that, after years of painful wondering, the parents she desperately wanted back were killed right in front of her

almost died pt who even fucking knows

almost died

was absolutely fucking brutally tortured (within an inch of her life) 😚✌🌸✨✨

almost died horrendously (she rlly couldnt catch a break that day)

had to choose between pushing her trauma to the absolute limit or hating herself for not protecting her friends

almost died

motherless

couldn't make friends (for a reason no one would believe)

that's why yo [daddy] dead. dead as hell. what shoes [he] got on what shoes [he] got on in [his] casket

almost drowned/froze

had the pressure of surviving as an orphan ANDD being a fucking king forced upon him at the same time

felt responsible for thousands of lives

was imprisoned

was almost motherfucking impaled by scary adult

all that? yea he was like 10

therefore

grew up weird like his brother and rayla

probably almost died a lot of times

imprisoned again & was threatened and bared witness to his brother + his closest friend tortured (+ almost murdered)

almost murdered by someone he once trusted

prolly a lot more idk i was gonna include soren n claudia but i am so fucking exhausted THESE KIDS ARE SO FUCKED OML 😭😭

#uhh like for part 2 #dear god #callum #callum tdp #tdp callum #rayla #rayla tdp #tdp rayla #ezran #ezran tdp #tdp ezran #tdp #the dragon prince

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electrosuite · 1 year

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ok so i’m gonna ask for smth super specific to my own sad little life but i’d love if you could write it

so essentially female!reader is plus sized and eddie takes a liking to her and asks her out when she’s at her locker but she’s been asked out as a joke before and made fun of her whole life so she doesn’t believe that he’s being genuine but he says he understands what it’s like to be an outcast and bullied and that he genuinely thinks she’s like gorgeous and so she says yes and they go out to dinner but she’s super nervous about eating in front of him

then fast forward like 2 months and they have sex for the first time despite her having given him a bj but never asked him to do anything because she’s afraid he won’t be attracted to her, but then she decides to finally take it a step further and she’s really reluctant to take her clothes off in front of him but he’s so comforting and he thinks she’s the most beautiful woman in the entire world

then after they have sex they talk and she reveals that jason and his friends followed her into the woods one day during lunch and surrounded her so they could bully her and just be really mean but one of her male friends saw them following her and stepped in

like i said it’s a sad story but this whole situation actually happened to me in high school but me and my bf have been together almost five years now so maybe it’s not all bad

warnings: swearing, mentions of bullying and harassment, dirty talk, oral sex, descriptive sex

word count: 4.9k

masterlist

a/n: oh my, i’m so sorry this happened to you. idk what possesses people to be so mean to others based off judgments of their appearance rather than their personality. i hope i do your request justice.

It was a normal day for you so far. It was Tuesday, which meant you had your painting, history, and math, as well as a free period. You intended to spend it in the library, so you stopped at your locker to put away most of your books and grab your backpack. You decided to look down at a page of your homework, going over what you needed to study.

But when your locker closed with a bang, you jumped and looked up and to your right. There stood Eddie Munson, a metalhead who hosted the Dungeons & Dragons club, also known as Hellfire.

But he’d become a friend to you as of late. And friends weren’t something you had many of. You weren’t very social, preferring to keep to yourself and listen to your music on your Walkman.

Middle school and high school weren’t easy for you. You’d always had issues surrounding your weight, seemingly unable to keep it off. And middle school kids and high school bullies immediately noticed. It was an easy thing for them to pick on, so they did.

You couldn’t catch a break, and the people who you thought were your friends made fun of you behind your back. So you gave up on trying to have friends and just decided to stop socializing altogether.

One day when you were looking for somewhere to sit at lunch, Eddie was standing at the end of one of the tables and making a speech to his friends about how people mislabel them as “freaks” and “Satan worshippers” when he spotted you. He thought you were pretty, and when the two of you made eye contact, he gave you a friendly smile and walked over, clearing his throat.

“Looking for somewhere to sit?” You nodded, both of you glancing around the cafeteria. The only open spot was next to Jason Carver and his basketball friends, and Eddie could see your aversion to joining them. “Wanna sit with us?” he asked, glancing over at the younger boys having a conversation about Dungeons & Dragons.

“Sure,” you said with an awkward smile.

He made some of the boys scoot down so you could sit next to him. You were sitting awkwardly as they hadn’t given you enough room to sit, and you hoped no one would notice besides you.

But Eddie noticed.

“You okay?” he asked, recognizing how uncomfortable you were. You simply nodded and gave a small smile, but he didn’t buy it. “Hey asshats,” he said, catching the attention of the three boys next to you. “Scoot over more.”

They did it without question and returned to their conversation with the rest of the group, and you were a bit taken aback at their lack of reaction. You scooted over and got comfortable, able to let out a sigh.

“Better?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and turning the corners of his mouth upwards.

“Better.”

And since that one, small interaction, you’d began sitting with them regularly. One day, he offered you a Hellfire shirt, even though you didn’t play.

“Normally I wouldn’t offer one to someone not in the club, but I really like having you around. Plus, you’d match better if you had one.”

Your cheeks got red at that, and you laughed awkwardly for a moment.

“I’d love one.”

“Great! What size?” You faltered at that, scratching the back of your neck. “What’s wrong?” he asked, genuinely concerned about why your demeanor changed so suddenly.

You shook your head. “Nothing. Um, a two-x. If you have them.”

“Why wouldn’t I have one?”

You shrugged. “I just... didn’t know if you had bigger sizes, you know?”

“Of course, I have 'em. I got some made in every size. They're in my van, I can get you one after school.”

“Cool.”

Another conversation that left you a bit stunned. You were used to not being able to find bigger sizes in the clothes you wanted, and you always felt judged asking for them.

But you didn’t feel judged when you told Eddie. It was just another transaction, and you thought that this is what it must feel like to ask him for a small or medium.

Turns out, a two-x was exactly the size you needed. It was a baseball tee style shirt so it was slim-fitting but not tight, and you couldn’t stop looking at yourself in the mirror the next morning. You’d never had a shirt that fit you like this — one that wasn’t oversized and didn’t make you uncomfortable. You also really liked how the three-fourths length sleeves made your arms look.

And so did Eddie. When you walked into the lunchroom he almost choked on his water before you made it into earshot, so you didn’t see his reaction.

“Hey,” you greeted, sitting in your usual spot next to him.

“Nice shirt.”

“Thanks. It’s very soft.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

You noticed he was acting a bit off, but you paid no attention to it.

And this led to now, with him standing at your locker after closing it for you.

“Hi,” he said, leaning his shoulder against the metal surface.

“Hi.”

You held your notebook down in front of you, your arms straight and in a position to cover as much of your torso as you could. This was your natural stance now whenever you held something, trying to avoid stares.

“What are you up to?”

“Free period. I was gonna go to the library and study.”

“Oh sweet, I have a free period too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was probably gonna head out early.” He crossed his arms to be as casual as possible. “If you wanted to hang out or something.”

“I can’t, I have a really big test tomorrow.”

“Okay, well, what about tomorrow night, then?”

“What, like a date?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay.”

You furrowed your brows, questioning his intentions.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Seriously.”

“Is this a joke? Did someone put you up to this? Was it Jason?”

“What? Of course not. Why would it be a joke, and why would Jason tell me to ask you out?”

“Because he’s done it before. More than once.”

“What?”

“If this is a joke I will walk away right now.”

“Y/N, it’s not a joke. I want to hang out with you. I like you.”

You raised your eyebrows, still not fully believing him. “You like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, tell me what you like about me.”

“I like that you’re one of the few people in this school that doesn’t think that I’m a freak.”

And that was when it hit you. Eddie was in the same boat as you were. The bullying, the mocking, the harassment. You’d both endured it for years, and you were the first girl who treated him like a person, not an outcast.

“Look, I get it if you don’t want to. Most people wouldn’t. But if you do, the offer still stands.” He turned to walk away when you reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked down at your hands then up at you.

“I’m sorry. It’s just... hard to tell if someone’s being genuine. I’m sorry I accused you of that, you’re not the type of person to pull something like that.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Tomorrow night sounds fantastic.”

“Great.”

You pulled a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your address down on it, handing it over to him.

“Pick me up tomorrow after school. We can do whatever you want.”

He nodded. “Great. Dinner it is.”

As he walked off, you felt a sense of horror wash over you.

Dinner. Up until now, you’d only eaten small snacks at lunch in front of him, like an apple or peanut butter crackers. This was all on purpose, trying to avoid your regular bullies seeing you eat and approach to make fun of you.

But now the idea of eating an entire dinner in front of him made you queasy.

So when you two were in his van pulling into the parking lot of the local twenty-four hour diner, he noticed how nervous you were. He assumed it was just regular jitters, but he could tell something was wrong when you began looking at the menu.

“I think I’ll just get a salad,” you said in an unsure tone.

“A salad? That’s it?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Why not get something more filling?”

You shrugged. “I dunno, I guess I’m trying to eat better.”

He tilted his head and gave you a confused expression. He leaned forward and put his weight on his elbows. “Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“As soon as I brought up dinner you got kinda... standoffish. I could’ve picked something else if you didn't want to eat.”

You shook your head. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to bring down the mood or anything, it’s just... I usually don’t eat much in front of other people.”

“How come?”

“Because I get made fun of.”

“Made fun of? Why?”

“Eddie, come on.” When his expression simply said that he didn’t understand, you scoffed. “I’m not exactly thin.”

“Who cares?”

“I do. So does everyone else, apparently.”

“Well, everyone else are dumbasses.” You snickered at that comment. “Y'know, the first time I saw you, I thought you were the prettiest girl in Hawkins.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m serious! You can even ask Dustin, I brought it up at Hellfire.”

“What did you say?”

“He asked if I knew you and I said no but I thought you were really pretty.”

You’d never felt like this before. Sitting across from you was someone who had only nice things to say to you, not a lick of judgment in his voice. Someone was calling you pretty, and they were being genuine.

“Order what you actually want to eat. Don’t starve yourself for me.”

“Okay.” You skimmed over the menu again. “I think I’ll get a cheeseburger.”

“Sounds delicious,” he said, satisfied that he convinced you to order what you wanted.

And then, before you knew it, two months had gone by and you and Eddie were officially dating. But, of course, because of the rumors about him, you only faced more harassment. Notes in your locker from anonymous bullies calling you a “Satan worshipper” and “cult apologist”, but this was the first time that none of it bothered you.

You knew Eddie wasn’t any of the things that people called him, and you felt like you were walking on sunshine every moment you got to spend with him. He made you feel beautiful — something no one had ever been able to do. He made you feel comfortable, like you were home when you were wrapped in his arms.

But despite how beautiful he made you feel, the idea of him seeing you without clothes on made you more anxious than you'd ever felt.

So, to ease into the idea of sex, you decided you were going to go down on him, even if you weren't good at it.

So when you were listening to him play guitar in his van one day after school, you decided to make a move.

He was playing a song he'd mastered, Stairway to Heaven, when you crawled over and gently pushed the guitar out of his lap. He put it down next to the beanbag he was sitting on and smiled as you came up to his eye level to kiss him.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled through kisses.

"I wanna make you feel good."

"What?"

You ran one of your hands down his stomach and to his belt buckle. He reached down and stopped you.

"What are you doing?" he asked, this time in a serious tone.

"I wanna blow you."

His eyebrows raised. "Are you sure?"

"What, you don't want me to?"

He looked at you like you were crazy. "Oh, believe me, I do. I just... This is coming out of left field. I just don't want you to do it because you feel like you need to."

"I don't feel like I need to. I just... I want to do this."

He still seemed skeptical, but he let go of your hand and allowed you to continue. You undid his belt, then his pants, then you pulled them and his underwear down enough to allow everything to spring out.

Your eyes went big, not expecting but also not surprised by his size.

"Is it okay?" he asked sheepishly.

You did your best to suppress your nervousness and wrapped your hand around his length and licked the tip, making him take a deep, sharp breath.

Your lips engulfed him, sinking your mouth down and going until he hit the back of your throat. He involuntarily bucked his hips, the extra inch or two making you choke.

"Sorry," he said, pushing your hair out of your face.

You wrapped your hand around the base and stroked it as you bobbed your head, which made him throw his head back.

"Shit," he whispered, putting his right hand on the top of your head and guiding you along. "That feels so good."

You adjusted your tongue so that it laid flat against the underside of his dick, which apparently felt better because his moans instantly got louder.

"Y/N, I'm not gonna last much longer."

At this point, he was guiding you along more than you were actually doing anything of your own, so you just let him. You could tell that he was close to cumming, and you weren't planning on stopping until he was drained.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned, and based on him thrusting his hips, you knew he was right on the edge.

Then, suddenly, you tasted something you've never experienced. It was salty and bitter, and there was a lot of it. The weak moans that left his mouth made you smirk the best you could with a dick in your mouth, but you slowed your pace and watched him breathe heavily.

When he looked down at you, you were swallowing the cum in your mouth, and his eyes widened.

"Did you swallow?" You nodded. "God, that was hot." He pulled you up to where he could kiss you and you giggled at his excitement. "It didn't taste bad, did it?"

"No, I don't think so. I don't know what it's supposed to taste like, but I didn't wanna spit it out."

He nodded. "Good. My turn."

He started sitting up, and you stopped him. "What do you mean?"

"I was gonna go down on you. Return the favor."

You shook your head. "That's okay."

He was confused. "What?"

"I'm okay. I'll let you know when I'm ready for that."

"Are you sure? I feel bad not doing it."

"I'm sure. And don't feel bad. I'm just not ready for that yet."

He gave you a small smile. "Okay. But I am going to rock your world when you let me."

That was three days ago. You hadn't seen Eddie much in those days as he'd been at his friend Dustin's doing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, but as soon as their game was over he made sure you were the first person he saw.

He surprised you at your locker, splitting a candy bar with you. You sat together at lunch, which you ate outside at one of the picnic tables. He sat on the table, and you sat on the bench next to him.

"So I was thinking," he said, his mouth full from a bite he took from his apple.

"About what?"

"Tonight's Friday. Would you wanna stay at my place?"

Neither of you had spent the night at the other's place since you got together, so this was a big step.

"Your uncle would be okay with that?" you asked, knowing he lived with his uncle.

"He works night shift, but he wouldn't care either way. What do you say?"

You thought for a minute. "I'd have to tell my parents that I'm staying with a friend, but I'd love to."

"Yeah?"

"Totally."

"Awesome. I have tons of tapes we can watch."

You knew how tonight would probably end. And you were excited for it. But you were more nervous than anything. You wanted to go to the next level with him, even if it meant doing something that made you uncomfortable.

So when he kissed you during the movie you guys decided on in his room, you pulled him on top of you and wrapped your legs around your thighs.

"Eddie," you whispered.

"Mm?" he moaned softly into your neck, pressing kisses into your skin.

"I want to do this."

He looked at you, tucking your hair behind your ear with his right hand. "Are you sure?" You nodded. "I need you to say it, sweetheart."

That nickname always made your heart skip a beat.

"I'm sure."

"Absolutely sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Absolutely positively with a cherry on top?"

You laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. "So many cherries. As many as you want."

"Okay."

"Go turn the lights off."

He obeyed immediately, the only light coming from the television. When he returned, he got back into the same position as a moment ago, but he used his knees to push your legs back further.

You reluctantly reached down and pulled your shirt off, having to sit up a bit for a moment.

His eyes were glued to your body, unable to look at anything else. It made you feel awkward and your natural instincts were to cover yourself. But when you did, he wrapped his fingers around your wrists and pulled your arms away.

"This is what you've been hiding?" he asked, his tone full of love. "Goddamn, Y/N." His lips latched onto your chest, his hands on your hips.

"Is that a good thing?"

He made eye contact. "You're a goddess. Literally ethereal."

You couldn't hold back the laugh you let out. "I think that's a bit of an exaggeration."

"I'm speaking nothing but the truth."

Before he could do anything else, you reached under you and unhooked your bra, slowly removing it and throwing it to the floor. You could've sworn his eyes popped out of his head like a cartoon character at that, and he swallowed the spit in his mouth before littering kisses across your breasts.

"Take your shirt off," you commanded, which he did. He was so beautiful, and it made you bite your lip.

He leaned back down to kiss you and untied your sweatpants, which made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. His hand slipped into them and his fingers found your clit, causing you to gasp softly.

"Is that okay?" he asked, breaking the kiss.

You nodded. "Yeah, it's good."

His fingers continued to work and you couldn't stop yourself from moaning into his mouth. But it only lasted a few more seconds before he scooted down on the bed and hooked his fingers under your pants, looking at you for permission.

You reached down and helped him, unable to muster a single word. He slowly removed them, and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with every second that went by.

But reality hit you: you were about to be completely, one hundred percent naked in front of him. Sure, he could barely see you with his body blocking most of the light, but he could still see you.

So your natural response was to bend your knees and cover as much from his perspective as you could.

"Y/N..." he said softly, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your knee. "If you don't want to do this, we don't have to."

"I do want to. I've just never been naked in front of someone. Not since I was little and changed in the same room with my mom."

"Well, if it makes you more comfortable, you could always put your shirt back on. Me, personally, I like looking at you, so I wouldn't recommend that. But it's completely up to you."

You shook your head. "I need to get comfortable with it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

He nodded, and slowly spread your legs. Here, he had a full view of your body, and he only smiled. He kissed your thighs one at a time, settling down on his stomach. His mouth was so close to your vagina, and he knew it was driving you crazy.

The feeling of his tongue on your clit made you moan. Much louder than you intended. His hands wrapped around your thighs, holding them still on either side of his head.

Your right hand fingers tangled themselves in his hair, your left hand flat against the wall behind you.

"Shit, Eddie."

Your back was arching, your hips grinding into his mouth. His eyes were glued on you, wanting to see how you looked when he made you cum.

You knew you were grinding into his face quickly, but he managed to keep his mouth exactly where it needed to be.

Everything that was happening right now was making him hard as a rock, and resisting the pulsing and throbbing in his dick was driving him insane. But he needed to make you feel good. He needed to make you cum before he even took his pants off.

And it didn't take you long to get there. He could tell, too. Your moans had become desperate, needy. You were pulling his hair, which only turned him on more.

"God, I'm so close. Eddie, I'm gonna cum," you struggled to say. "Please. Fuck." You didn't know what you were begging for, as he was already getting you there.

And when you went over the edge, Eddie could've swore that the noises that left your mouth were the most beautiful sounds he'd heard in his entire life. Gasps, moans, cries, swears, and his name filled the room in a melodic song that even made him moan.

Tears dripped down your temples into your hair, your legs shook so hard that they felt like they were gonna cramp, and your eardrums rang.

You were in heaven, and you never wanted to leave.

He kept going so long that you felt like you couldn't breathe, and you had to physically tap out.

When he stopped, you were sweating and crying out of pleasure. He kissed your thighs more, giving you a moment to calm down before he got on top of you again.

When he returned to eye level with you, he kissed your cheek.

"Goddamn," you muttered, chuckling tiredly.

"You okay?"

You nodded. "Sorry if I was too loud."

"No such thing." He kissed you, and you could taste yourself on his lips. "Wanna keep going?"

"Of course, I do."

He rolled off of you and stood up for a moment to pull his pants down. He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching into his nightstand and pulling out a condom.

He tucked your hair behind your ear again, making you look at him.

"If you wanna stop at any time, tell me. Okay?"

"Okay. I will."

He kissed you for a moment, rubbing himself against the area you were most sensitive.

Once again, he used his knees and thighs to bend your hips more, really spreading you open.

"Ready?" he whispered.

"Ready."

He reached down and guided himself to your opening, slowly sliding in. You closed your eyes and your jaw dropped as he bottomed out, which made him weakly moan.

"Fuck," he sighed. "You feel so good."

"So do you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So fucking good."

Hearing your sweet voice talk so dirty was a major turn-on for him, as you learned when you blew him.

"You like being stretched out like this?"

"Mhm. Feels so good."

He slowly pulled out almost all the way before thrusting back into you, making you involuntarily moan. His mouth landed on your neck as he developed a steady rhythm, his left hand gripping the top edge of the mattress.

With his right hand, he cupped your cheek and pressed your foreheads together, making you look into each other's eyes.

"Eddie," you breathed, which made him grunt. "God, you feel so good. So fucking good."

"Yeah? You... fuck... feel good too. Really good. So warm and wet. God. I don't think I'll last much longer with you."

He buried his face in your neck, biting down on the skin hard but gentle enough to only leave a hickey.

The hand that was on your face reached down to the back of your thigh, almost to your ass cheek, and his fingers dug into the skin. This allowed him to bend your hip even more, your thigh pressing into the back of his bicep.

Every time you made a dirty quip, it only made him grunt and groan and moan even more. Every 'You're so deep' and 'You feel so good' awoke something inside of him that you didn't expect. He was pounding and slamming into you, but it didn't hurt. It felt amazing. If you knew he could make you feel this good, you would've blown him weeks ago.

His shoulder was pressed into your cheek, so you lightly bit down on it, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Fuck, Y/N, I'm gonna cum. I'm so close."

"Cum for me, Eddie."

When you kissed his neck, it sent him over the edge. His hips slammed into the backs of your thighs, his fingers pressed into your leg, and he cried out right next to your ear.

A few thrusts later and he stilled his movements, leaving the only sound being your unsynchronized gasps for air. Neither of you moved for a good thirty seconds, both of you laying there with your eyes closed.

"Holy shit," he mumbled, lifting his head and looking at you. Once again, he pushed your hair out of your face, which was spotted with sweat droplets, before cupping your cheek and stroking it with his thumb. "You good?" You just nodded. He placed his palm on your chest and chuckled. "Your heart is pounding."

"I wonder why," you joked, which made him laugh harder.

"I'm gonna pull out now." He slid out of you with ease and you softly moaned, straightening your legs to be more comfortable. He rolled over to lay next to you, pulling the full condom off and throwing it in the trash can next to the bed and grabbing a tissue to clean himself off.

He grabbed a clean tissue and propped himself up on his elbow. He gently cleaned you up too, kissing you when he was done. He sighed, looking over at you.

You were staring at the ceiling, still breathing heavy.

A few moments went by before you flipped onto your side, laying your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you and you bent your knee onto his leg. Once you got settled he kissed the top of your head.

"Can I ask you something?" he said softly.

"Hm?"

"What happened between you and Jason?" He could feel your demeanor change at the question. "You don't have to talk about it, but you didn't want to sit with his group at lunch, which I completely understand, and you thought he put me up to asking you out. What's all that about?"

You were silent for a moment.

"We were... acquaintances at one point. Not friends, we just knew each other. Not long after we learned about each other, he started targeting me. I'm sure you can guess what about. He would make fun of me at lunch for eating, or sometimes he'd even take my food and tell me I didn't need it. I thought maybe eating in the classroom during lunch would help, but the teacher almost never stayed in there so he'd find me and still do it.

"I tried to eat outside one day farther away from the school, but him and his friends followed me out there and surrounded the table I was at so I couldn't leave. I didn't know what they were gonna do, so I kinda just froze and let them harass me."

"What'd they do?" He was running his fingers through your hair and massaging your scalp, which he knew would calm you down.

"They took my lunchbox. They dumped everything out of the packaging and stepped on it so I couldn't eat it. They were assholes about it and kept calling me names." You took a deep breath and swallowed the spit in your mouth.

"Is that why you didn't want to eat in front of me?"

You nodded. "You're the first person I've eaten a whole meal in front of since then."

"Not even your family?"

"What, like they're any nicer?"

"Jesus. I wish I'd been there that day Jason did that."

"One of my friends at the time stopped them. He offered to buy me another lunch but I said no. I guarantee they only stopped because it was another guy that stepped in."

Eddie hugged you tightly, leaning his head down to kiss you.

"I'm sorry that happened. You didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that."

"I've learned to just avoid him."

"Well, if he starts bothering you again, you come to me, okay? He already thinks I'm a freak, he doesn't phase me."

"Thank you."

You both turned back to the movie, watching what was left of it. About fifteen minutes later when he noticed you were asleep, he covered you up with his blanket and watched you for a few minutes.

He smiled to himself, thinking how lucky he got to find you.

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openworldadventurer · 1 month

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I'm really sorry if this is rude or something, it's really not intended to be, but do you have any proof of your work at Bethesda? I'm writing something for school about how casual a lot of the abuse/mismanagment in the games industry is and want to include some of the things you've talked about in the past, but I can't seem to find anything that actually validates your accounts. Even just an article from a credible source in which your mentioned or smth would be fine, genuinely.

Sorry again if this rude, thank you in advance if you decide to respons!

That's a perfectly reasonable thing to ask, so no offense taken.

But first things first: there are larger and more egregious abuses out there with much more proof than some tales from the trenches on Tumblr. I recommend Jason Schreier's Press Reset (not just because I was interviewed for it about two separate studio closures, Big Huge Games and 2K Marin), but there's no shortage of good reporting on a variety of abuses. (And as for "mismanagement", I wouldn't call any of the cut stuff from Skyrim a sign of mismanagement at all -- that's just what happens in any big open-world game. Every developer plans about twice as much stuff for a game as actually sees the final version -- there are always cuts when we see what we'll have the time and devpower to achieve.)

So please, don't quote "some guy on Tumblr said his name was struck from the game" for your school article -- it'll look like gossip reporting, and it won't even be very exciting. There's real horrors out there with solid sourcing that you can draw from, instead. As for my own credentials: I'm listed in the credits for Fallout 3 as "Fred Zeleny" (you can see me listed in this video of the credits at 2:51), and the various Fallout fan wikis have archives of my "Inside the Vault" internal blog interview I did while working on it.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm not listed in the credits for Skyrim, because they stripped my name along with a few other developers for going to work at different game studios before the project was done. I'm not sure what I can do to offer proof that I was there for that time period, short of sharing my design notebooks or pictures from the company parties, all of which might well be legally-actionable breaches of my NDA. I suppose I could point out which characters are named after friends of mine, but that wouldn't prove much if you don't know them. (Although it's a sweet story: they had just married at the time, and I added them as a little surprise wedding gift. Now their two kids play Skyrim on the Switch and are delighted to see their parents immortalized in Darkwater Crossing.) Now, that sort of professional erasure might not fly nowadays (particularly with a union there!), but that was 15 years ago. And sure, that was frustrating back when I was a young dev. But in the decade and a half since, it's never been a professional impediment, because everyone else in the industry knows that sort of pettiness was/is done all the time. And it doesn't hold a candle to some of the real abuses and horrors I've seen in the industry since leaving Bethesda.

So... yeah. I am who I say I am, but I really hope I haven't given the impression that Bethesda is a uniquely bad place in the game industry. If anything, it was fine in hindsight, albeit a little frustrating how things ended. But I tell tales of what almost happened in those games because those are the games people are familiar with, and because those tales are amusing rather than just horrifying.

Trust me, "here's a funny thing I almost did with Sheogorath!" or "the Bard's College quest was almost way more complex!" are much more enjoyable stories from game development than the real horrors I've seen. You probably wouldn't enjoy reading "that season I slept in the office multiple nights a week to meet deadlines and then the parent company failed to make payroll and laid us all off with no severance and we all cried and my coworker wrote a sad note to the movers who came to take everything away", or "the guy who made us completely retool our game to be more mainstream just stepped down after being arrested for a longstanding pattern of sexual harassment and abuse of employees." Trust me, those are real bummers. So it'd probably be better for your article if you focus on the sort of actual abuse and mismanagement I've shared links for here, rather than the minor stuff from my posts.

Gotta keep a proper perspective, y'know?

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gluion · 2 months

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🍓 🥤🪐☁️ for the ask game <3

thank you bar for popping in!!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

i’ve actually read a lot of fanfiction since i was young and actually attempted to make my own works (which im pretty sure are terrible HWJHSJSJ) but in the context of when i started posting, i was obsessed with the romcom music & lyrics and really wanted to give it my shot in writing a sunwoo fic with a similar premise (take note though i had some other wips before!) and it rotted in my drafts for almost a year 😭 only found the courage to pick it up again and finish it after reading beam’s fics <3

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

oof i have a lot ofc but i think i’d give it up to @sungbeam (night terrors & liu) and @wavesmp3 (are you happy?, the sea is yours to take, & 8000 layers of inyun) as some of my favorite authors ever since i admire alot of their works (from plotlines to charas) to even writing style. i also love @loserlvrss (sitting in traffic & alike tides, aligned waves [coming soon]) @jnnul (falling in love at first sight x3) and @blissfullsvn (wish you were sober) !!! i know its alot but these writers have works whose writing styles/plotlines i enjoy quite alot!!

— tumblr wont let me link some works i think i reached a limit or smth idk… but pls check them out everyone

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

1. enjoying my break so ive been playing some more video games :’))

2. motivation to write has increased with the amt of feedback ive been getting from my bonedo works </3

3. good food & good company!!

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

my current user is based off of day6 (even of day)’s the book of us: gluon — nothing can tear us apart which is such a personal album imo… dropped when members went on hiatus and where the sea sleeps still makes me feel so much emotions despite how long its been. ive used similar user names on other platforms like twitter and ive always just loved the sound (glue-ion) and how it looks!!! i do miss using zzoguri but i feel like gluion has always been such a big part of me since i used it back in 2021

#om nom #all my loves #bar 📟

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curioscurio · 1 year

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ayyy ex-michaels framing club! the first shop i worked in had 2.5 people, since i was technically hired as floor and only in there half the time. the 2 women working there knew their shit but my god did the store manager have no idea how anything actually ran back there. the second shop had 5 or 6 total but we only ever had 2 people on shift at a time (thankfully That store manager had been in framing and knew what she was doing) but there was still never any time scheduled in for training so we had exactly 1 person capable of doing the really fancy stuff like jerseys so god forbid smth was due while she was out! also shortly before i gave my 2 weeks we had someone new come in and i was pissed tf off bc id been there almost 2 years and theyd given her twice the amt of hours i was getting...framing scheduling was awful in general bc our store got ~85 hrs a week to dole out in that dept and half of that Needed to go to the framing manager which meant everybody else got like 2 shifts a week. i worked 3am truck shift for like a month once bc that was all that was available. 2/10 great coworkers and loved when i got to hide in the shop and not talk to people but would not go back.

WOOF sounds about right god it really did suck... at least they let us wear fun pins. I also did a few of the crafting classes with the kids which was always so fun... coworkers were generally chill except for my framing manager who was just to mom girlboss for me to not feel intimidated

Also it sucked that we couldn't take the frames meant for trash home. I had to throw so many giant golden frames that were perfectly fine away that cost $500+ each.

#idk if they went in the compactor or just thrown in the dumpster but still

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shadowthesim · 25 days

Text

the ticking clock

Midnight alone with my plushies in my bed

it's so dark it's so lonely it's almost dead

But the only thing that's keeping it alive

along side the fading light coming from the window

Is the sound of the stupid clock's ticking that never stopped since years ago

As long as i can remember that ticking had always been there, here and everywhere , as much as i hate this solitude at 2 am , i still long for the nostalgia that comes with them

I miss the place i called home

I miss the people i truly loved

But i think it's probably time to be alone

And in myself i should start to trust

Even though trust is a word that doesn't show up frequently in my dictionary,

i always try to erase it from my memory, everytime i trusted someone it lead to my heart broken, i must be used to it by now since all i have left is tiny pieces glued together like that little porcelain girl from the wizard of Oz, i always saw her as a resemblance to something bigger but i never quiet figured out what it was...

since everything i love and cherish ends up disappearing then i should hold on to the things i have now before i witness them leaving,

feeling lonely is much harder than anything you can think, it's as unexpected as watching a giant ship sink, no one planned for it but it happened somehow, drowning in the void itself, empty like a once filled shelf, with books and frames and everything once treasured ..now apparently sold and forgotten forever.

for some reason this is how this world works, letting go is a skill you have to master, but i will never be able to let go, because then it will mean that i moved on from everything that built me, everything that describes me and makes me the person i am today

I know that goodbyes are the worst to say, and pretending is easier...like we are here to stay.

so i will just keep pretending as i listen quietly to that ticking of that clock that will forever no matter what happens will still work

~જ⁀➴✮⋆˙

----------------------------------------------

hopefully u liked this 😭🙏 it's my very first time to post smth i wrote so plz I'll really appreciate your opinions 💗 hope you're having a good day ~Chahd

#poetry #sadgirl

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seiwas · 11 months

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sel I wanna hear the deets of how u and ur bf developed feelings!!!!

niku!! 🥺 welcome to the sleepover!! ✨ omg thank u for asking 🥹 im surprised i haven't told you yet tbh but!!! here goes!!!

let's have a sleepover!! 💗 send me any questions/stories you wanna share!!!

the summer before our senior year of hs we attended this extra study thing to prep us for college admissions!! at this point we were really good friends!! went to junior prom together and everything!! and we were talking almost everyday, but it was rlly just friends!! we didn't coordinate the schedule or anything bc we were both busy with our own stuff apart from the classes but we literally ended up being classmates 😭 like out of all the timeslots we coincidentally ended up in the same one & we were seatmates too!!

the teachers in those classes would tease us a lot cos we sat together in the corner at the front, i'd draw random doodles on his book for him to find later on 😭, and he and his family would drop me home every time they came to fetch him!! because i lived really nearby.

i developed feelings for him that summer, but honestly i think i was denying it for a long time and just admitted it to myself then 😭 a lot of girls found him cute (i did too, when i first met him! but didn't entertain it then bc i had a thing with another guy for a bit (who i'm also still friends with today omg this is another story...)) but!! bc lots of girls were trying to talk to him, i wanted to make sure that i was talking to him out of genuine intent of wanting to be his friend!!

anyway! so i developed feelings the summer before our senior year of hs and tried so hard to make it go away because i didn't want to ruin the friendship 😭 so we spent that year getting closer, talking everyday, going out just the two of us, doing each other's snapchat streaks if the other would be away (if you know that omg) + we were eachother's top snapchat streaks lmao and i thought i was over it!! until i found out that he was considering college abroad.

honestly i think my heart sunk a bit, but also! it was kind of the closure i needed? like. i was set on letting my feelings die along with him leaving for college, y'know? and we could still be friends. but we got together before the year ended so i guess! no need for feelings to die? (then we did ldr for 4 years!)

whenever i ask him how his feelings developed, he can never give me an answer!! but his brother told me recently that i was the only one he was chatting with constantly back then 😭 like he was notoriously bad at replying, as in 2 days delayed shdbfhgs but his brother said that he'd leave others on delivered and just talk to me (still delayed... like a day but HAHAHA better than nothing!!!) & whenever i ask my bf what caused the shift from just friendship to smth more, he always says it's bc he felt & saw a love/care that was different with me (?), like... one that he wouldn't be able to find anywhere else? (sounds sooooo funny now when you think about it, him at 18 thinking that when he's literally never been romantic ever but! maybe he was onto smth bc we're here now 5 years later...)

#niku.🥩#this got so LONG omg i tried to condense it as much as i could #SDBFSADJF I TALK ABOUT HIM TOO MUCH #lovebug #ask #rep #sleepover!#thanks for asking niku sdfbsdfjbas #stellamancer

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againtodreaming · 1 year

Note

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

@lyloneliness you send the first ask but also @mavr4xx @vinylbiohazard @ghostsinacoat @yumaisbored you also asked this too and omg i love u all but also, why do you do this to me 😭😭😭 i was already struggling a lot to think of 5 things with the first ask (and i still haven't even gotten to the tag game of this), and now I have to think of TWENTY-FIVE?!? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ (plus 5 more if I end up finding the tag game again plus the ability to think of 5 more...)

Anyways, thank you so much for the asks (´,,•ω•,,)♡ ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊♡ (even if they are the hardest asks I have done in my life 💀) (it was interesting and fun tho 🌟) you are all awesome 💖🌟💞 now here we go:

(25 things here in the same post bc…not sure I just started doing it after @ all of u and I am doing this draft in my phone and separating this in the other asks i still have to look for is too much work) (apologies for the length, the further i got, the longer some of the answers became😅)

1 - My hair (used to be really thick and my mom used to make this amazing hairstyles almost every day when I was a kid—there was one that was a huge rose made of braids or smth, the hairpins were awful and it took so long but it was so pretty, I think my mom even made it for the wedding of one of her friends, anyways I lost maybe more than half of my hair when I was like 15, stress probably, and then I decided to cut it even below the shoulder—first time in my life it was so short—bc I was so mad with it but also bc I had zero energy to even try to take care of it by that point. Grown back until like my mid-back—used to have it like waist length before—by now and now I got maybe a little more than half of the hair that I used to have at 13 which is a lot better than it was at 15 and hopefully it gets back to what I used to have in a couple of years more, but for now it's enough to start playing with it and doing braids)

2 - Open-mindedness

3 - Creativity

4 - Patience

5 - That I'm an older sister

6 - Uf, how do I explain this one—like, empathy? kindness? feeling things deeply? putting yourself in the other person's shoes and being considerate of that? being too sentimental? which can be really annoying too but I wouldn't trade it so...

7 - That I can talk really fast

8 - Being expressive

9 - Always thinking things through

10 - Confident in my likes? (okay, so this one feels complicated, but for example, when I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old probably, I loved superheroes, but my classmates in my all-girls school were like, that's for boys 😒, and I felt horrible bc that was just another thing in that i didnt fit in with everyone else and i always wanted to fit in, but somehow—which looking back feels weird bc who even knew i could be surprisingly confident in some aspects—was that i never thought i was in the wrong for liking superheroes? Like, yeah, I always wanted to fit in and I felt bad that I didn't, but even with all the social insecurity I was constantly plagued with, I never felt like I was in the wrong for being myself or that I should change myself or pretend to like stuff I didn't just to fit in (that strategy didn't even cross my mind until I was…can't be sure, it was somewhere in the last few years in this country, it was either a documentary, fiction, or the group therapy, but the idea of actual people in real life doing smth they didn't agree and had no purpose except to fit in was like: 🤯!?!!?!?!) (I didn't handle it that well either to be fair, if I wasn't with my friends i just decide to hide during recess and/or to not speak at all with anyone, until I changed schools) (I liked the 2nd school better). I assume that in my head I was like: "shame that I'm not like all of you but what can you do, I'm me ╮(╥﹏╥)╭ "

11 - I'm usually also all or nothing with almost all things? Like, for example, math. I don't like math, it has always been the class I struggled with the most and all my math teachers in Peru were really strict and thank goodness that my dad loves math and really good at it or I would have been lost without someone to explain it to me. But last week, my parents got an email from my math teacher who was telling them how proud she was of me and how I always strove to understand everything and there was some implication that I did it bc I liked what I was learning, which like, I mean, I like geometry a lot more than algebra bc it's simpler, and I don't exactly hate it, but I certainly wouldn't do it for pleasure. At all. And yeah, I ask her about everything I don't understand (she insisted to the whole class to please ask her anything if we needed help, so i had permission; if she wasn't available tho, I just would have asked my dad or a friend who is good at math to explain it to me) and ask her to show me exactly what I did wrong and what would be the correct answer but all of that is bc well, if I'm going to do well in the class, I need to understand what I did wrong in order to fix it, and like, math classes always build on each other, so if I don't smth I will later have problems with it, and also like, I'm already stuck with the class whether I like it or not, if I'm going to do smth, I'm going to do it well. Which is smth my mom has complained a lot of times, especially during last school year when I had a lot of late assignments bc I was too anxious about doing any of them bc I was afraid of doing it wrong or bc I didn't have the energy to think clearly so I wouldn't be able to do my best so like yeah…I ended up not doing the assignments at all (this is the part that I hate about this all or nothing thing with me, but let's focus on the positive side right now). Or with projects, I once stayed awake until like 5 am like several nights straight to do a project for economics class which like…I decided to make my own illustrations for each slide of the ppt to illustrate the information on top of doing the reading and answering the questions stuff…and I was already in a hurry with it bc I didn't know the school put assigned summer readings in the school's website (it was my first year in this country and nobody had said anything about it the year prior, plus it was quarantine time) and the teacher gave me a few extra days bc I still needed to hurry up in reading the book so yeah, I should have done smth more simple and fast to just submit it and get a grade but it wouldn't have been doing my best, not even near my best and I was already compromising on some stuff to not take too long since there wasn't too much time for my initial ideas so…yep. The teacher loved my project tho (and gave me a 100 even tho it was one day late) and asked if she could use it for her class of next year soooo…totally worth it. But yeah, i was sort of confused that Geometry teacher thought to send an email like that when I have only been trying to understand the concepts I am assigned to learn?

Thinking, thinking, thinking….you know what, I want to put my height in here just annoy my sister (she would be all dramatic annoying fake pitying dramatic gasp about it and would drag the younger ones to her side of the argument) but she wouldn't even see it plus I don't actually care about heights (I just care that she's annoying about it almost daily) so that would also be a lie so another thing….you know what, i already got 11 in one morning, coming back to this later

12 - Okay, so I hate all my health problems, absolutely hate them, so annoying and expensive and restricting and confusing BUT—how do I word this…it has 2 parts…umm…okay, so I'm really familiar with the clinic in Peru I used to go all the time and, okay I hated having to go to the clinic so many times, especially towards the end, but I liked being familiar with it? Like, the people, the sense of a community, the building, the routine. It was probably more familiar than my schools since I changed schools a few times while the clinic was there ALWAYS (until we moved countries and I never expected to miss the fucking clinic but it happened which wtf but also makes sense which also omg mila (ノ◇≦。) but also, the medical system was definitely easier and less expensive than whatever the fuck they have going on here, plus not having all our usual doctors, so there is also a practical reason aside from me unreasonably missing everything that was familiar including things I didn't even like much). That's the first part. Second part is that it has brought…lessons ig. Like, idk, it's been a huge formative part of my life. About health and food and family stuff and experiences. Like, I hate having the health problems (they are A LOT better now than when I was younger as long I do some things to keep it that way, but yeah, really grateful for that) but also, I don't really know who I would be without those experiences? Changed the whole family too so like…idk, it's weird but felt worth mentioning.

13 - That I'm really curious and like learning.

14 - Sense of style

15 - Loyalty—to people (like, even swallowed down all my shyness and anxiety to try to reconnect with some childhood friends I hadn't talked in forever bc moving countries and depression thing) (going well, really happy that we are talking again) but also like to interests and values ig? Like, most of my likes (superheroes, anime, drawing, maybe writing but not sure about that one, all started before I even turned 8 y/o) and like, aside from maturing and a couple of things, I don't think I've changed much at all. I have never stopped liking smth I used to like anyways.

16 - Openness ig? Like, I never want to be a bother so it depends on the person and the history i have with them and sometimes on the occasion, but I never really had any problems asking for help or speaking about my problems or feelings

17 - My handwriting when it's not written in a hurry

18 - My attention to detail

19 - Not getting mad easily—which is you know good with being an older sister too bc like...my dad is really annoying (but like jokingly annoying) and a lot of times bc of it (or some other times other family members) my sister and my mom get mad about some small comment they take seriously and then they get angry and leave the table or living room or whatever and then it's like all awkward bc the mood got broken (which also, a little hypocritical especially bc the sister also loves to be annoying in purpose with everyone of us) but unlike them, the middle sister and me like...we don't really care much about it? We are usually the ones that get more teased by the others but it's like, smth one therapist didn't understand, which was so annoying wtf did setting boundaries had to do with my siblings being annoying, I don't care that they are annoying bc it's like, we usually get along well (presently; there used to be constant fighting between 2 of them we were little but they are better now) and they have always been annoying but it's like, a game, I know they are not serious about the matter. I can be annoying back if I feel like it and it's all in good fun. The only times I don't like it it's when it's actually serious, with you know, intention to hurt or being passively aggressive mad about smth, stuff like that. Point is that yeah, it's also good for sibling diplomacy bc I'm rarely the one getting mad with the other ones.

20 - That I like dogs

…I can't think of 5 more. Uf, let's see…okay, getting desperate here but—

21 - That I'm Peruvian

22 - Good at cooking

23 - Good at planning

24 - My self-awareness

25 - That I like to be more positive and hopeful about things in general I think? (myself is usually an exception) Constant argument with my sister bc she can be so pessimistic sometimes. Like, life is already hard enough as it is, having fun and connecting with people makes things more enjoyable, so why not try to focus on the bright side whenever possible and make things better. She thinks I'm naive, I know I can be naive, but also, if I have to live I'm going to enjoy it bc what's the point otherwise. Generalizing things doesn't help. I think.

OKAY!! DONE!! 25 THINGS!!! FINALLY 😭💖

Thank you again and I hope you are all doing well <33

#please nobody ask me this again/lh #i had to resort for a strengths list quiz they made me do in therapy for ideas #u know for at least half of these #i had several negative counterpoints that i refrained from adding and shut the mental door on them to dismiss them #be proud of me for that #the good side of having to do 25 of these things is that I don't have to struggle anymore in choosing only 10 followers lol #but also #love this game #it's really a great way to spread positivity and the idea is just so nice #glad that it exists and that u all thought of me to send it to <3 #brightens the day and it's a good exercise #i just will die if I have to think of even 2 more things anytime soon 😂#mila habla #asks

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lilacsareinbloomagain · 2 years

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Stargazer anon again! ★彡

I loved your oneshot on Yandere!Impulse. 11/10! If you write more than once for people, would you do smth Yan!Keralis? I'd think of him being a *very* delusional yandere. Like "we're dating even though they barely know me" delusional. Do with that what you will.

Ty! - 🌠

Welcome back Stargazer! I'm happy you liked the Impulse oneshot, thank you for request once again :]

Notes: Once again, I don't know Keralis that much. But I promise I'll try my best. This oneshot took a while since I had to make a bit of a search to know more about his behavior and all.

Also, thanks for the tip, I love it when people give me those.

TWs: Yanderism, maybe ooc Keralis, isolation, mentions of social anxiety and dependency.

C! Keralis X Reader

Not actually innocent

Keralis was nice.

He really was.

You didn't know him much, sure. But whenever you needed something he always seemed to be there, even if you didn't ask something directly to him, he popped up.

When questioned, he told you word got around.

Word sure traveled fast in Hermitcraft, he normally appeared in less than half an hour.

You didn't even know why you weren't friends with him, like, you guys were friendly but not exactly close.

You met him in the first season of Hermitcraft, you two chatted and even did some collaborations. Both of you liked building so it worked out very well in the aesthetic area, but when it came to actually talking and getting closer it didn't happen that much.

Until it happened.

With the help of your friends, the both of you eventually grew closer in season 2 and in season 3 you were practically best friends.

Then he just disappeared.

Keralis went radio silent and never answered anything you guys sent his communicator after he went inactive on the server.

He didn't return for 4 whole years.

In the years he was gone, not only did new people join the server but you got closer to your old friends. You slowly realized how lonely you actually were when Keralis was on the server. The man basically monopolized your attention, every time you were planning to ask one of your other friends to collab or just hang you he immediately took that time, messaging you first.

Of course, you didn't want to think bad of him, maybe he was just very needy of attention? Spending so much time building couldn't have been good for his mental health, so the discovery that he could build and enjoy a nice chat with someone who just fit with him was too good to skip.

And he was also nice, very nice.

So when he came back after 4 years you couldn't bring yourself to confront him.

What you were able to do however, was avoiding him to the best of your ability.

And you did.

During those 4 years, you changed a lot, your personality now seemed to carry a bit of each of your friends as if they all had contributed to building the person you were now by just being there when your best friend abandoned you without further notice.

To be honest, you were sour at the very start of the years without him. You had trouble to be around everyone again, it was almost like he had isolated you without anyone noticing.

In a few months, your new (and old) friends helped you become a better version of yourself and made you miss Keralis a lot less. It was almost like you had lost a piece of yourself by just being so much time around him and not interacting with one else, like your personality had become bland.

Your habits changed a lot, too.

Before, it was almost like you were an extension of Keralis and not your own person.

Keralis tried pretending like nothing had happened when he came back, he acted the same as always.

It was very common for you to have your communicator always blown up with messages and missed calls from him, back then you would respond immediately when they appeared on your screen, now, when he messaged or called, most of the time you were busy with a lot of things.

Now you had a wide range of people to work with, so it wasn't unusual for you to be working with someone and when you guys decided to stop for a break you notice your communicator to be on the verge of glitching with the amount of messages from him.

You have also discovered something called a healthy sleep schedule.

4 years ago you barely napped, spending all day and night building restlessly.

You also discovered how fun other things were, sure, building was awesome, but have you ever explored? Farmed? Spent time with animals??? The list of things you spent time doing now, with other people or even by yourself kept going.

Keralis was restless.

It was almost like- No, you couldn't have been avoiding him. Could you? After all he had done for you?

No, you weren't avoiding him. You wouldn't avoid him of all people. The bond you shared was special, you loved him and he loved you even more.

Of course not! How come he ever even thought about that possibility? Keralis laughed to himself, walking towards your newly built house, seeing you and Grian in the distance, admiring the giant house and talking about something he couldn't hear, laughing and smiling together. He gritted his teeth as Grian stretched his arm across your shoulders, one of his brightly colored wings following his movements and wrapping across your back.

"These guys are getting on my nerves…" He mumbled, his fist gripping the handle of his pickaxe tighter.

Those new people, getting in the middle of you guys relationship, how dare them!

He rolled his eyes as he got closer to you and Grian, able to hear him bidding his goodbyes before flying away in the direction of the sea, where his base was located.

You were smiling, as you stopped waving and turned back you almost jumped, raising your hands in surprise at the figure of Keralis right behind you.

"Oh, didn't see you there." You smiled, scratching your neck after getting over your precious scare. He smiled back at you, coming to stand right by you, looking out into the distance.

"I think we need to talk." He said, not looking at you.

"Sure, one second I'm just gonna finish making a door to my h-" As you prepared to take a step away, Keralis held your shoulder.

"This is important," You lifted an eyebrow, waiting for what the topic of your important talk would be. "It's about our relationship. "

"Okay, yeah. We really need to talk about our relationship." You gave in, gently pushing his hand off your shoulder and moving to stand face to face with him. A serious expression on your face.

This topic was avoided by you for too long, this wasn't just about your mental health now, you had improved a lot and were okay now, and hopefully you'd be able to help Keralis too. Even if it would hurt him having the truth thrown at his face, this was important if he ever wanted to have friends, to understand how bondaries worked. And despite his terrible mental health, Keralis was a good person, he just needed to acknowledge something was wrong and actually try his best to fix it. And if he was up for it, you would be there to help him, like a good friend really would.

"You have to stop putting people before me." He crossed his arms, you shaked your head.

"That's not- They're my friends!"

"I'm more important than them, am I not??!" He yelled, you were about to speak again when he yelled. "You were supposed to love me!"

You put your hands on his shoulders. Speaking in a slow voice to try and make your words get in his head, furrowing your eyebrows.

"Keralis! This is not healthy."

He sniffed. Nodding his head.

You released a breath in relief. Patting his shoulder with one of your hands before squeezing it one last time.

"We can work this out okay, I'm here to help you." You smiled sadly at him, he lifted his head and smiled back at you, grabbing the hand you put on his shoulder. He held the hand there for a moment before pushing it away gently.

"Okay, now I really should go, it's almost nighttime and I have no doors." You chuckled a bit, glancing back at him before running to your crafting table, waving as you got away.

Ah, this is bad. You got attached to these people in the time he was gone.

Guess it would hurt you more when he isolated you from them again.

Still,you were so loyal to him, only made his love for you grow. Good to know you still loved him as well, it would make the process easier.

#keralis #keralis x you #keralis x reader #yandere x reader #yandere keralis #yandere hermitcraft #hermitcraft x you #hermitcraft x y/n #hermitcraft x reader #tw: yandere #c: keralis

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scalproie · 1 year

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THEY MADE SCORPI STRAIGHT?

hi drake this ask is so funny to receive without context bc for the longest time, Scorpion (Hanzo) was the only character actually married with a wife and child so yeah. yeah they made him straight. 30 years ago.

BUT NO THIS TIME OF CRISIS IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT ok ok ok so:

new timeline (mk12) rolls up -> Kuai Liang (Sub Zero for almost 30years) is now Scorpion -> in a non canon mode with seasonal story, they had Scorpion (Kuai Liang) marry Harumi (Scorpion (Hanzo)'s wife) probably only because he's Scorpion

To add insult to injury to Scorpion (Hanzo), they have him found out about this. He's from another timeline and was looking for a timeline where Harumi was still alive, and the only one where she is is the one where she is with Scorpion (Kuai Liang), so technically, not even him. Then they cast him in the role of the jealous husband willing to burn this entire timeline down because of that.

Now this is pretty infuriating on it's own but if we go in my personal feelings, it blows so hard bc I was really attached to Kuai Liang being gay (regardless of actual shipping): 1) he has NEVER been cast in a romantic role before 2) the closest bonds he had have always been with other men 3) personal vibes. Like themes of growing up in a restrictive clan (that sometimes, depending on the story, forbid close bonds between members and was a bad place to live in) that ends up turning its members into cold unfeeling machines and breaking away from that fate by getting thru to your good friend who has been turned into a robot (1st timeline) and/or becoming the grandmaster of that clan before getting rid of its restrictive ways and trying to restore its honor and making peace with the longtime enemy the clan pitting you up against. All while being tits out and sporting a huge beard (2nd timeline). Doesnt really make a lot of sense when explained that way I know but it does to meeeeee

BUT THEN AGAIN, mk is a game made by and for straight men so I really shouldve expected smth like this happening sooner or later. Oh well.

#so yeah. misery👍#tagging later #eldragon-x

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ayyponine · 5 months

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much like last year i got to enjoy some studio visits this weekend B)

(commentary in addition to description linked to each photo individually)

started out fresh w an art gallery (1, 2, 3) w some cool, colourful, eclectic and playful pieces on display. made a quick stop at work to say hi to a colleague i hadn't seen in a while before making my way to

my second location and biggest must-see (4, 5). Had a nice chat w artist who saw me look at one of her canvases frm the side so she was like lol do you paint or smth. bc i recognise how you're viewing these works when i go to a museum i do the same exact thing. I loved getting her perspective and a glimpse into her work process even if it's so different from mine idk it was cool! There was a whole collective of lil art studios scattered about the building surrounding a courtyard so i also entered a diff place and look. they were all about making zines. a group of ppl was chatting and making em. so i entered and was like hi ja sorry i kom ff binnenvallen maar ik weet niet goed wat er..... te bezine valt. which instantly made me cringe so hard i was ready to leave but the girl leading the workshop seemed thrilled to have me and explain the setup even if internally i was still like oh god why am i like this rip. i think i missed out on some more ateliers but mostly bc a lot of the artists were gathered in the lil courtyard having drinks and chatting and i was too intimidated to ask fr info or be spotted looking lost like some IDIOT so on i went rip.

quick stop at kids clothing shop which always cheers me up it's so whimsical and i want their stuff fr

Then onto 6, 7 where they had some cool stuff fr sure but the location was such a cramped and cluttered old row house and i had already spent my whole day walkign around in a T-shirt so especially trying to navigate around other visitors this was just not it babes. i moved on before having seen it all despite being interested bc i just needed to get tf out.

Managed my good deed fr the day when i spotted a confused looking older couple w a wheeled suitcase and personally guided them to their hotel

THEN on to this hidden lil atelier where i also went last year + attended a grand total of 2 life drawing sessions in the months after. again while arriving i was faced w the distinct feeling of having barged in on a private party of artists all at a table sharing a leisurely drink on a dreamy sunday afternoon rip BUT. the artist i talked to last time/followed the drawing sessions with was there, still knew me by name and made some small talk to help me feel welcome what an absolute gem. he even proposed i sit w them at the table & hang out fr a bit, when i said like hmm thank you but to just join up w a group of friends who all know each other it's a lil daunting he even said like but i know them, and i know you so its all ok :) i was internally like cool. i would takea fucking bullet fr you btw this is totally fine and i can not believe you are still willingly talking to me, the single most embarrassing person to ever exist in the world

anyway i did not accept the offer to stay fr a while but did chat w some of the other artists which was again super cool, to get more info on the diff works on display. they seem like a rlly sweet and charming collective of people and i wish i didn't feel so ashamed of myself so i couldve spent more time with them all but aint that the way. debating atm whether i should sign up fr another life drawing class or if the guy was only being nice bc he felt obligated and would actually prefer i keep my flustered and off putting vibes tf away from his personal and professional work space idk.

anyway. i had the wrong address so almost missed out on my last visit but in the final hour it was still possible i did manage to find the last location (8, 9) w an exhibit on themes of europe, durability and the meaning of home. there was a really cool piece on trees & difficulty in their sap stream where you could touch a chunk of wood and feel clicks resonate through a speaker mounted on the back, a glass installation on koekhappen re: jumping through hoops fr resource accessibility & probably my fave: the audio of welcoming messages. esp smth about the french speaker was so warm idk there seemed to be genuine relief in the confession of "je suis tellement heureuse de te voir, que tu m'as manqué" which also btw. god ive always loved that expression. ive missed you you have been missing FROM me or smth more in that direction of semantics i. insane

then biked on to my moms again to get some got damn. peace and quiet. and a cinnamon roll w vanilla ice cream <3

#mine #i am rapidly switching btwn moods of i am somewhat ok with life and i am but a total embarrasment others repeatedly are burdened with but.#aint that just the way i suppose

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dead-air-radio · 6 months

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Omg here's me just talking about my day so if you're here for gore and sexual stuff this is not it. This is more like a rant/vent lmao so if you're here for me this is for you lmao

Bro I need you guys to understand how much I love this friend of mine. Like not in a romantic or platonic way like neither. He's genuinely like god I don't know what I'd do without him he's literally family, him and their gf are literally closer to me than my actual family and they are in fact my family. Like okay family lore guys gather round but when I had first met my ex it was by one of my best friends if your an Og you know her as M. And pretty much she had 2 best friends that were her ride or die for like 7years and one was my ex and the other was the dude I'm talking about in the beginning I legit might as well just call him my dad cause we'll he is. He was there for me throughout me and my exes relationship and he'd talk with me a lot and we like bonded instantly into like mentor type ass bond. And when my ex started becoming more and more abusive I thought my dad( my friend) would side with him cause yknow people usually side with the person they know longer and they were best friends. And at first I'd talk about it and he never once made me feel like he thought I was lying or that he didn't care. Ofc in the beginning he chopped my ex being so harsh and stuff to 'oh that's always him he's my brother and he'd do nothing like that on purpose I'll give him a talk and just know it's okay to tell me these things etc etc." At the time he was in a bit of disbelief cause well the way my ex acted towards people was like slowly ramping up.

And then I full on had confessed to my dad how he would do certain things (which I didn't even consider rape or abuse at the time) and immediately he just blocked him he sent a message before he did to my ex being like " hey the way you treat Sawyer who you know I see as my son is not smth I want in my life and if you don't cut the shit I don't want to talk to you nor do I want you going around sawyer" (when I read these messages i cried so hard lol I love my dad sm) also my dad (still talking about my friend guys lol) he's a pyshcology major and he's becoming a therapist and when I was trying to detach myself from my ex it was really hard cause I thought I deserved it and it didn't count as rape etc etc.

Pretty much I didn't want to write this man out to be a rapist especially to his 2 best friends. When I had told them about what he did to me it was as a reason why I was gonna stop talking to all of them cause I didn't want to paint him to be a bad person and that i knew if i kept talking about it to them they wouldn't like him so I was basically just trying to pretend like I was never introduced to them so they could keep liking my ex as their brother. But both have stayed by my side even after me n my ex stopped talking. They hate him which makes me feel guilty but I'm glad they've been here with me. I would not be alive if it wasn't for M and my dad. (This is the ex that made me stop using all socials and cut myself off the face of the earth and decided maybe I should try tumblr cause no one I know uses it and I could vent there so you can thank him for you guys hearing this ig lolz)

Anyways lore aside present time so my ex lived a couple hrs away from me but in the same state and M lives like a couple mins from me but my dad lives in a whole other different state and I've only seen him once in person and it was the week my ex and me stopped talking and the week I almost committed suicide but like after my attempt the next day he was pretty much at my door and it was so amazing I love him so much. And then after that day he had to go drive back home :( and it's been almost a year since I first saw him.

Cut to today and he surprised me last week saying how I'd feel if we went out to eat. And I'm like bro I'd love that but your not here only for him to say he'd be coming to see me and we hung out today for the second time in person and guys I'm literally in love with this man like not romantically like idk hoe to express that this dude is literally my dad I love him like he's my own blood. And he got me sushi and refused to let me pay. He got mad at me anytime I looked at price tags lol.

He's just so great. We only had 5hrs to hangout and he surprised me with a new skateboard so we went skating together too and now the day is over and he's already on his way home :( I miss him so much anyways this post was just me talking about how much I love my dad lol and I'll post pics of my skate board too <3. This genuinely was one of my fav days I loved seeing him and I got a gift from his gf (literally my mom lol) and it's a little wolf stuffy. And they said it reminded them of me. Cause even irl people joke about me being a puppy/dog boy lol. Anyways guys I'm not fatherless lmao. I just miss them and it's gonna make me sad they had to leave lmao

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felinemotif · 10 months

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coryyyy!! 2, 16, 35, 57, 93, 110, 117 from the book ask game <333

hi maya thank you for stopping by /ᐠ - ˕ -マ all but one of these recs are written in english; the last one, compañeras, is written in a mix of spanish & 'spanglish'.

2. a book with a blue cover

i was so ready to say my husband by maud ventura for this but it turns out that??? the cover! is not blue. only the title is. so. with that said i'll go with all's well by mona awad.

i wasn't too sure about reading this at first but i had read and loved bunny by this author, so i figured i'd give it a chance despite my hesitation regarding the topic. glad i did, i'd give it 4 out of 5 stars. it could have been higher, but the ending was... well i don't want to spoil it if anyone is reading it/wants to read it, but it was definitely a very awad-esque ending in that it was neutral and honestly? a bit unsatisfying.

we follow a vengeful actor turned theatre director with debilitating chronic pain who slowly over time loses her sense of empathy as she gets lost in her anger. very, very unhinged. i saw dominique defoe say that it was disturbing to dive into a feminine rage book that wasn't set in a fantasy world where a lack of morality could be smoothed over by the greater good; all's well is a modern contemporary with real world problems. lots of references to two shakespeare plays (which you could probably tell by the title anyway lol).

my usual advice to ppl when they go to read a mona awad book is to have something fun and light to read after because rarely will you be happy with the 'resolution' in her writing.

16. a book you'd recommend to your younger self.

listen. little me was a pretentious fuck lol. i was walking around reading plato's the republic in middle school. i read electra by sophocles for the first time when i was like? 13 i think. both great reads but i really could have benefited from some less heavy material back then. something comforting and silly. with that said, and taking into thought what was already published by that time, i would say any of the lizzie mcguire books.

35. a book featuring the found family trope.

i actually don't read much found family outside of fanfiction but ig six of crows by leigh bardugo. i haven't touched that book since it was published but i remember really enjoying the dynamics between the characters, particularly kaz and wylan. i was also shocked by the huge improvement in the quality of writing compared to her shadow and bone series which i ended up never finishing.

57. a book you want to hit your head with

(assuming this means in a frustrated way) i'll go with the secret history by donna tart. it took me over a week and a half to finish that damn book. for reference normally i can finish a book of that length in two-three days. it was so slow. in over 100 pages the only thing that happened was the main character was able to get into a class he wanted and one of the female characters cut her?? finger?? foot?? smth. it wasn't a life threatening injury either.

the pacing was unbearable but the atmosphere made up for it. i spent some of my formative years where the book is set in the beginning so i did enjoy that aspect, and once i got over half way through it really picked up in intensity but yeah. it's a modern classic for a reason but i think in the future if i want to read a classic, i'll stick with dostoevsky.

93. a book featuring an unreliable narrator.

(the secret history also fits this but since i used that for 57) i'll say we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson. if you haven't read a book by jackson before,,, do so. immediately. she does NOT disappoint.

this book is about two sisters taking refuge in their family manor together after almost their entire family is killed via poison. the townspeople, naturally, point the finger at the sisters and their surviving uncle but are unsure which one of the three committed the crime.

the narrator, 18 year old sister mary katherine, is very childish (to the point that ppl forget she and her sister aren't children). very much a story of sisterhood and trauma and a house is haunted by the living.

110. your favourite psychological thriller.

i can't think of anything off the top of my head so i'll just suggest the one i'm going to read at the start of the new year: a flicker in the dark by stacy willingham. I've heard excellent things about this book. the main character's father was convicted of her murder two decades ago, and while he's behind bars, someone with the same motive---or perhaps the actual killer all along---starts kidnapping young girls again.

117. your favourite anthology.

this really depends on the genre for me but the first to come to mind is one i recently read: compañeras, which is a collection of oral histories, short stories, poetry and essays by and about lesbian latinas.

my own experience with being a bisexual latina woman made this an especially meaningful read to me. in our culture, you don't really discuss your sexuality with your family if you aren't straight. there's a lot of shame in it. i had it a bit easier, given i didn't grow up around many other latines; so the cultural shame wasn't as prevalent for me outside of family. but it was still there.

being a hispanic/latino queer still very commonly results in being disowned once you come out or are outed. i remember when i spoke to my abuela about it (after having already come out) she nearly drove us into a tree.

this collection digs deep into the shame and familial and cultural expectations put on latina women, and it dives into how confusing and lonely it can be to learn about your identity in a household where you can't speak about your experience with the people meant to guide you (elders).

this anthology was also originally published in the late 80s by the latina lesbian history project! and even all this time later, we still face many of the same issues with oppression and family disownment and expectations that the women were talking about in this collection.

a lot of this was written in english, but some were in spanish & spanglish so if you don't speak spanish and want to read this you will have to look for translations for some of the content.

talk books with me

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