#before i get any hate comment i absolutely DO NOT hate Olivia (i think she's very good) and i would've loved her as book!alicent
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
You know i could've gotten over the fact that they basically changed everything about Alicent and Rhaenyra's characters (no i couldn't), but why does it look like the two sides of the war are Rhaenyra and Alicent? what has Alicent got to do with anything now? she played her part putting her son on the throne, now there's a war coming for Aegon, not Alicent. Yet in the new commercials it's always Emma D'arcy and Olivia Cooke and never Emma D'arcy and Tom Glynn Carney. The chess game commercial was with Emma and Olivia and as much as i like both of them i just think Alicent (for the way hotd writers portraited her in the series) has finished her job. She played the part of the innocent woman that didn't understand what she was doing, now there's a war coming and she's probably not going to be taking any of the next decisions that regard the upcoming battles, so except for praying and tying to stop either Aemond or Aegon i can't really think of a role she can play in s2. She surely won't take part in planning the war since the trailer made it seems like she doesn't want to be at war, so what's her so important and world-changing role that makes her (non-existent) interactions with Rhaenyra more important than the actual conflict going on between the greens and the blacks?
34 notes · View notes
hard-core-super-star · 1 year ago
Note
poor rubix's brain.... I'm starting to think this is a cry for help
but then you won't get a star either, or else your ego will go through the roof! OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE. we are definitely not talking about them and this is a really long article, an article that by the way I didn't start reading and didn't get my jaw dropped by the quotes from some poems, and obviously didn't give me any ideas or inspiration to write something. Okay, since you wouldn't like to point that out, I wouldn't like to say that this makes a lot of sense and that now I liked some of the poems mentioned even more-
your Insta page is actually your worst enemy and makes a point of throwing information and things in your face, forcing you to see just like the birdbox guy opening the woman's eyes so she can see the “invisible” things making everyone want to die. OH- your insta page IS your birdbox guy-
not all men... coff coff but always a man coff coff. and my god yes???? there are so many disgusting comments, there's no way anyone can look at this and think it's OK for people to say things like that or think that hailee isn't uncomfortable with this shit.
It's just funny that we both agreed to leave it out but kept adding a few things, consequently coming back to the topic lmao. the closet is glass but it's the kind of glass that only mimes can see fr. I already said I'm not good with words and it came out a mess, do you still want me to talk about my thoughts on Kate? 😭
– 🌟
we are going to pretend like my mind totally didn't go blank when i read that first part 😶 ANYWAY, you could argue my entire blog IS a cry for help and you probably wouldn't be wrong.
unfortunately, my ego will go through the roof no matter what but i admire your efforts. i’m so glad you didn’t read it because it definitely doesn't do a great job of explaining things that took me like three months to research. and i definitely don't think about the “armed cavalier” poem every day and become awe-struck all over again. and i’m extra glad we're not bringing emily dickinson into it because they definitely don't have a bunch of poems about death, immortality, and the idea of heaven that hurt a lot because they were both most definitely queer.
that's a perfect way to describe it, ngl. i hate using Instagram now because every time, there's that sense of dread about what it's going to show me. like i’m just trying to find pretty pictures of olivia rodrigo, i do not care about football!!
yeah, it's absolutely awful and it maybe wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if i didn't have a feeling JA actively encourages those kinds of comments. maybe not from his fans but i bet he's not policing his teammates if they want to say shit like that about hailee.
i know, we have to stop encouraging each other to keep ranting about it but there's just SO much to say. i need someone to just get it over with and smash that damn glass closet before i lose my mind. you say this as if i didn't admit to rereading everything you send like four messages ago. if your thoughts on kate are anything like those essays you sent, i am 119% on board. like, my blog is practically dedicated to all my thoughts on kate, so it's not like anyone’s dying to hear what i think ‘cause i’m pretty consistent in my depictions of her. in conclusion, YES, i want to hear your thoughts!
0 notes
floralcyanide · 2 years ago
Text
The Extra || Austin Butler x OC
Chapter Eight
Tumblr media
Pairing: Austin Butler x OC
Warnings: mentions of past innuendo, mentions of sex, nightmares.
Word Count: 2824
>> hellooo welcome to chapter eight! I know I keep leaving you all with cliffhangers but this chapter is pretty tame. please let me know if you enjoy it! (:
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Add yourself to the taglist HERE
March 2020
I have been holed up in an apartment for weeks without being able to leave. I’ve been stuck in a relationship where I wasn’t held to an acceptable standard. I have been through the wringer with my ex, trying to figure out how to get out of the tense situation without ruining our new friendship, if you’d call it that. I got through all of those things. But I had never felt so stuck before in my entire life until Austin told me that an entire movie, a person’s life story, and the hope of fans worldwide now fell on me. And I don’t know if that’s something I can get to the other side of. Apparently, I look enough like Priscilla to be her character and have enough acting experience. Besides, desperate times call for desperate measures, and if an extra has to be used in the main cast, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But it felt like it was the end to me.
Baz decided that everything we have filmed so far will be refilmed after the six months are up. Not just because I was recast, but because he felt it would be better that way. I have to stay with Austin during these six months because I have to gain chemistry with him or instead gain chemistry back. Whatever we have going on right now isn’t a good kind of chemistry to work with, so we have to fix that. Also, I can’t really go home anyway. Everyone has been told that wherever you are right now, you should probably stay if possible. The virus has become too dangerous. I broke the lease to my apartment and had everything I brought with me here transferred to Austin’s condo, thanks to Tyler. He’s slightly upset that we can’t have movie nights anymore in each other’s apartments, but he understands completely. Jess is feeling better. Luckily, their coronavirus case wasn’t extreme, and they don’t have any long-term side effects.
Dacre and I are still friends; we’ve actually grown closer since quarantine. Sometimes it makes Austin feel weird, but he isn’t as jealous as he used to be. Luke and Dacre forgave Austin for his unhinged comment. But they made sure to tell him that even though they were cool, they would physically harm him if he hurt me again. Tom checked up on us every other day until he and his wife got the virus. His case is really bad, and everyone is very worried about him. On the bright side, Olivia has gotten a little better and has been really supportive of me replacing her part. I still feel like I’m betraying her in a way, but she has assured me that I could absolutely do this- that I’m capable of playing Priscilla. Even Priscilla herself has reached out to me to tell me that based on what everyone has been telling her, she was pleased to “have a great woman” like me to play her. That alone was enough to wake me up. I need to play this part whether I like it or not. Whether I want to be famous or not.
It’s been a struggle for the last two weeks. I had to make sure to tell Austin that I wasn’t mad at him and I didn’t hate him. And that if I was distant, I just had a lot to think about. I had to think about how I would play a serious, life-changing role as an actress with little prior experience. I really, really had to think about how to go about living with Austin again now that we had to forcefully. I also had to think about our relationship, whether it was romantic or platonic. Our characters are romantically involved, so we have to work on our dynamic. We can’t fight anymore or let anything come between us while filming, or else it would be challenging to maintain chemistry. Apparently, there’s an on-screen kiss that we have to prepare for, too. I don’t know how ready for that Austin or I will be, but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
I have decided to wait until Austin and I get out of this weird patch before thinking any harder about pursuing our relationship again. I don’t want the foundation of our rekindled relationship to be built on any hesitance or negative emotion. I told him I’d think about it, and I have, but I won’t think on it more than I have to until it’s necessary. Luckily, I think we’re beginning to move out of the awkward phase anyway. It shouldn’t be long before we’re entirely out of it.
It’s a Friday night, not that the day of the week matters anymore at this point, and Austin and I are on the couch. We’re watching our favorite show we used to binge when we were together, and for a moment, it almost seems like old times. Today was our last chill day before we needed to start working on our lines and execution. I plan on starting Priscilla’s book soon to gain more insight into her as a person. I’m not able to call her at any given time, much less see her in person, so at least I have some primary sources to gain perspective from. Austin has a plethora of sources for information on Elvis, so he has a lot to take from. I’ve been helping Austin practice maintaining his voice and accent when he wasn’t Zooming with a coach. My thoughts are interrupted when I notice what’s happening on the TV.
“I still can’t believe they killed him off like that,” I frown at one of my characters dying a painful death, even if it’s the tenth time I’ve watched the scene.
“Remember the first time we watched it happen? There’s nothing more painful than seeing it for the first time,” Austin shakes his head at the memory. We were both in hysterics the first time we watched this particular scene, to put it lightly.
“God, I know. It still hurts but not quite as bad,” I shrug, digging into the bag of hot chips I had on my side of the couch.
Austin eyeballs the bag for a moment before turning his eyes back to the TV screen, “You still eat those?” he asks.
“Yep. Sure do,” I say, popping a chip into my mouth.
“I don’t see how you have a stomach lining left,” Austin snorts as he chews on a Sour Patch Kid.
“I don’t see how you don’t have sores in your mouth,” I chide, motioning to the yellow bag of sour candy.
“Good point,” Austin shrugs. 
His previously black-dyed hair is starting to fade into a weird shade of brown. He hasn’t bothered redying it since no one will see it. I thought the dark hair was a good look on him, in all honesty, but I’m partial to blonde-haired Austin. Especially when his hair was long and blonde. I would braid it sometimes when he’d let me. 
“What are you thinking about?” Austin pipes up from next to me.
I shake my head, readjusting to real life after being deep in thought, “Nothing. Just thinking of old times.”
“Old times, huh?” Austin nods in acknowledgment, “How old?”
“As old as your long hair,” I giggle, almost wanting to reach out and touch the fading hair.
“I miss it sometimes,” Austin says, glancing over at me, “Especially when you’d braid it.”
“You only let me do that a few times, though. But I loved doing it,” I say with a smile.
“I never told you, but it felt really nice. I liked when you played with my hair,” Austin says, toying nervously with a Sour Patch Kid between his fingers.
“Trust me, I know. I know a lot of stuff you didn’t tell me,” I scoff, “Like when you’d secretly use some of my conditioner.”
Austin turns to me and looks a tad shocked, “How’d you know?”
“Austin, I could smell it on you. Did you think I wouldn’t know what my conditioner smells like?” I laugh, no longer paying full attention to the TV.
“Good point,” he sighs, and he looks as if he’s going to say something else but brushes it off.
“What?” I ask curiously.
“It’s nothing,” Austin swats his hand, “Just a silly question.”
“I love silly questions,” I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him.
“It’s kind of embarrassing,” he mumbles.
“Just tell me,” I roll my eyes, “You’re not one to keep something in if it’s bothering you.”
Austin looks at me and sighs because he knows I’m right. His face starts blushing a little as he figures out how to say whatever he’s going to say.
“I was gonna ask if you’d play with my hair. I know that’s weird,” he says defensively, “But it grounds me. And I’m too wired to sleep.”
My heart flutters a little at his sheepishness, “You could’ve just straight up asked me, Aus. I’m not gonna bite your head off.”
“I wouldn’t put it past you anymore,” Austin jokes.
“Whatever,” I shove his shoulder, patting my lap, “Lay down.”
He readjusts his sitting position to lay down properly before resting his head on my thighs. I almost instinctively reach my hand out to run it through his hair as if it hasn’t been a long time since I’ve done it. I guess it’s true that old habits die hard. Playing with Austin’s hair was the second thing he liked to do with me, the first being kissing. I see him letting me play with his hair as a step forward out of the fog we’ve been in. The kissing is obviously something he struggles with, but I’m not pushy. I took the hint when he didn’t kiss me when we had sex. Austin thought of kissing as being the most intimate thing a couple could share besides sex. He would do it any chance he got, even if it was in public. Austin couldn't get enough. Even if it’s such a sacred action for him, he didn’t waste time worrying about his surroundings or how PDA looked to others. It was as simple as holding hands and as intimate as sex. So, for now, running my fingers through his hair was enough for both of us.
Tonight would be the first night I would have a nightmare. In the nightmare, I’m plastered on every magazine and website, being labeled and scrutinized. It’s something I always made sure to stay away from in consciousness, but now I no longer could. The feeling of anxiety that I’ve been pushing down was beginning to present itself in my dreams. I make a lot of noise when I have nightmares and thrash around a lot, so when I’m awoken by a very concerned Austin, I’m not surprised. I’m more or so relieved that the nightmare is over than worried that he’s in my room.
“Are you okay?” Austin asks, out of breath from running in here to make sure I didn’t hurt myself by accident.
“Yeah,” I sit up, pressing my palm to my clammy forehead, “Just a bad dream is all.”
“You were yelling for a second, and I got worried,” Austin says quietly as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“Was I?” I furrow my eyebrows, trying to recall when I could’ve shouted, “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Do you wanna talk about it?” Austin asks.
I shake my head, “No, it’s fine. Do you mind…” I trail off, wrapping my arms around myself. I try to figure out how to carefully word what I’m about to ask.
Austin misunderstands what I’m saying and gets up from the bed and heads to the door, but I blurt out my question before he can get one foot through the opening.
“Do you mind staying?” I blurt out, my face burning at my vulnerability. 
It was hell the first time I had a nightmare after Austin and I split up. I couldn’t go back to sleep that night since I was so used to someone holding me until I relaxed. I had several nightmares about leaving Austin after we broke up, and every time was a struggle. I never really learned how to come down from the adrenaline by myself. I would stay awake until I had to be up the following day.
“Oh,” Austin mutters, “I don’t mind.”
I move over in the bed so he has enough room to slide in next to me. This is the first time Austin has held me since I left him. I wouldn’t consider his very brief period of having me on his chest after we had sex to be cuddling of any form. I’m a little nervous about having him so close to me without the sexual tension. It’s so intimate to have someone hold you and sleep next to you, but I think I’m ready for that. Austin lays down behind me before cautiously draping an arm over my side. I pushed my back against his chest, letting him know it was okay to touch me. He then wraps both arms around my waist protectively.
“Is this okay?” Austin whispers in my ear.
“This is okay,” I whisper back. 
He relaxes into the embrace, tucking my head under his chin as I let my eyes close. I finally go back to sleep. The next morning, I wake up still in Austin’s arms. While I’m sure he’s still asleep, I take his right hand and play with his fingers absentmindedly. After a few minutes, I hear a scoff in my ear. Austin buries his nose into my neck before he speaks.
“Still in love with my hands, I see?” he chuckles against my skin.
I don’t respond but instead flatten my hand against his, holding it up to show the difference in size. Austin slips his fingers through mine, grasping my hand in his tightly before pulling it to him. He pulls his face from my neck and kisses my hand softly before laying our intertwined fingers back down on the mattress. I realized that I no longer had anything to think about now; we were out of whatever phase we were in upon meeting again. 
“I think I’m ready,” I say out loud without a shred of context.
“For what?” Austin asks, his voice still deep from sleep.
“I’ve had enough time to think about things,” I say, pulling his arm off of me so I can turn over to face him.
Now that it’s not dark in here, I can see Austin came in here straight from bed because he has on no shirt. His hair is slightly disheveled, and his eyes are still hooded from sleep. But Austin still has his full attention on me now that I’m turned in his direction. A look of realization comes across his face, but he waits for me to continue.
“I want to be with you again,” I say, looking into Austin’s eye carefully, trying to gauge his reaction, “But you have to promise me something.”
“What is that?” the corners of Austin’s lips twitch like he wants to smile.
“If you are ever bothered by something, tell me about it before letting it bother you too much or letting it eat you alive. You’ve never had a problem with that until now,” I say.
“I think I keep things in because the last time I said what was on my mind, you left,” Austin says, “It’s not your fault about how I feel, of course. But it’s just something I have to get over. Especially since you aren’t gone anymore.”
I nod understandingly, “Well, I’m not going anywhere. It’s not like I can either way,” I joke, “But I still wouldn’t want to.”
Austin puts a gentle hand on my cheek, almost testing my reaction to his touch. When I don’t pull away, he then places his other hand on my face, holding it still. His eyes flicker down to my lips and then back up to my eyes.
“Can I kiss you, Ro?” Austin asks just above a whisper, his tone uncertain.
“Only if you’re okay with that,” I say reassuringly, not looking away from him.
“I am,” Austin says, pressing his forehead against mine, “but are you?”
“Yes, I’m okay with it,” I hold back a nervous giggle, “You can kiss me.”
Slowly, Austin pulls my jaw forward and connects his lips to mine in a simple kiss. I grab onto his face, deepening it a little more as I turn my head to the side. It’s so familiar- the pressure of his stupidly soft lips against mine. It makes me almost want to kick myself for ever letting him go. But the past is past. And now I’m ready to move forward with Austin like time hasn’t been lost.
taglist: @cozacorner @onxlymnsn @anangelwhodidntfall @butlersluvbot @jolovesfandoms @austinbutler17 @slutforblueeyes @misspygmypie @mamaspresley @mirandastuckinthe80s @bobbykennedyfan @sodonebruh @lizzymizzy-blogg @defnotreadingfanfics12 @izzvoid @homebodybirkin2003 @kaycinema @thatonemoviefan @sarachacha @kittenlittle24 @alltheflowerstomav @tubble-wubble @annamarie16 @adoreyouusugar @csmt-m @apparently-sunshine @amiets2 @emchickynuggies @mrs-butler @mesbouquins @ari-nicole @xmusse @austin-butlers-gf @feral4austinbutler @inlovewithchrisevans @shynovelist @mommy-maia @popeheywardssecretgf @Venxfinn3 @westwoodcoast
Tumblr media
119 notes · View notes
polyghostfacehours · 3 years ago
Note
⚡️ Hobbies, 🌷 what they do to relax, 🌻 if they have pets, aand ⭐ misc headcanons for Jill because my soft-spot for her has been reignited after a rewatch recently,, oops
I'm also gonna be doing a rewatch soon, so this is perfect!
Jill Roberts Headcanons:
⚡️ Hobbies
Reality shows. She knows they're fake, but she loves to laugh at people embarrassing themselves. She watches them with Kirby and they have debates over who is the worst person on the show.
She sketches. Jill has this large art notebook in her room where she sketches out major events in her life, good and bad. She also draws future events she wants to happen, such as images of her walking down a red carpet with paparazzi following her, and images of you and her together having a celebrity wedding where Rihanna attends.
Jill reads as a form of escapism. She likes YA novels because of how unrealistic they are. In those, the main character, usually a woman, gets what she wants and gets to be a hero. It's a sort of catharsis for her to escape into it.
Jill is extremely toxic online and definitely enjoys leaving negative comments on forums or youtube videos. She's absolutely a cyberbully, and if you complain about it, she says she'll stop, but ultimately gets back into the habit on and off throughout her life.
🌷 what they do to relax
Jill likes to smoke on the roof of her house at night. Usually on the side away from the street, so she doesn't get caught with weed by any potential patrolling officers. But when she's feeling bold, she'll sit on the side facing the street and call Olivia on her cell. They both see each other and talk quietly on the phone, finding it amusing as Olivia sits by her window and Jill sits on the roof.
Social cleansing. Jill gets angry easily, even if she's pretty good at hiding it from most people. So when life is getting really on her nerves, she'll deactivate her social media accounts for a few days or so and kinda isolate in her room.
🌻 if they have pets
Nah. I feel like if she did, she'd be the type to have harmed them as a kid. She knows its fucked up, so she never asked for pets ever since she played around cruelly with her pet goldfish in 3rd grade.
⭐ misc
Jill wants to go blond so bad. She loves how it looks on Kirby, she's just worried it wouldn't look good on her bc she doesn't know she's Emma Roberts.
Jill loves plaid or striped clothing. Anything with a pattern she's down with, especially when she pairs it with black pants or jeans.
Jill has gone to therapy before, under the guise of depression and anxiety. But what she really wanted to do is talk to someone about her darker thoughts, and the way she seems to have trouble empathizing with people. She ended up not doing so anyway, because she got cold feet and felt like she couldn't open up.
Jill respects Billy Loomis, but she hates who he was as a person from what she knows of him. This is because of what happened with Trevor and that she hates fuckbois. She thinks the only cool thing about him is that he ended up making Sidney famous that's it.
Jill doesn't love her mom. She has trouble making genuine connections, and this extends to family. She may like her friends and hanging out with them, but even they don't mean much to her. It takes a very special person for her to genuinely care for them, BUT it can happen. And it does, when you come along.
Jill likes cartoons. I'm talking Tom and Jerry, Young Justice, Invader Zim, etc. She's embarrassed about this, and the only person who knows is Kirby, who is sworn to secrecy.
98 notes · View notes
limmastyles · 3 years ago
Text
Olivia Failed. pt. 10
I couldn't get past the nonsense that Olivia's henchmen published from the styles.wilde account. Get ready for a long article, guys.🥴
Here we go!
Has the #cockburn team started to lose power in the form of obsessed fans of holivia, or are they very disappointed with the reactions/comments (which write the truth) of many people under their shitty articles and therefore decided to organize some kind of support act for Olivia with the help of their paid sycophants? Apparently, on the eve of the BUA, they cannot cope with the onslaught of truthful statements, and also notice that most have stopped buying into their false articles.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's funny how they call "conspiracy theorists" people who have their own opinions, and also think sensibly to understand that this relationship is nothing but a fake. I've always liked how styles.wilde hates other people's opinions and pours a lot of insults on them if their point of view is different or somehow hinders the ideal narrative about the holivia...Speaking of "theorists". Aren't the shippers of hulivia theorists? After all, they are the ones who always come up with something that is not there and misinform many people, if only they believe in the existence of "relationships".Lol
Further, they was said "they don't even like the real Harry." Excuse me what?🤨 If you see a constantly exhausted, sad, absolutely uninterested person with a strained smile and with a feeling as if he is being forced in ALL the PHOTOS and consider him real, then I sincerely feel sorry for you. All this year I've only seen the REAL Harry a couple of times at some concerts when #cockburn WASN'T THERE and when his family was there and he completely didn't give a shit about the Olive. Don't ever tell me he's real with her, because that's total bullshit.Photos from Italy confirm this. And for the last couple of months, Harry has been completely ignoring #cockburn. And it's not necessary to say here that they decided to keep "privacy" for fans. NO! Why was she not so private when she wandered between the sectors of the arena, offering fans to take a photo? What for? If this show is just about Harry. Why try to attract attention to yourself if you want privacy? Exactly.
They cite Camille as an example, saying that "she wasn't a celebrity perse , she was a lot less active" if paparazzi weren't run after her.
A little reminder: "IF A PERSON DOESN'T WANT TO BE PAPPED, HE'S NOT PAPPED!"
Huh, is the Victoria's Secret model, who also participated in a bunch of fashion shows for world fashion houses not popular enough? Really? No, she just chooses a quiet, down-to-earth life. Unlike #cockburn, who calls paps on 183773845 a day so that a bunch of delusional articles are written about her, and necessarily with Harry's name in the title, because without him, no one will read about her. And for some reason, Camille didn't need to mention Harry in order to promote herself in her career, as Olive does. Camille still has a lot of different projects, as it was before Harry and when she was with Harry, and what can we say about #cockburn? NOTHING!
"They seen only 5 times a year," they said. Or maybe because, IN A PRIVATE RELATIONSHIP, THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE?!
If you want to hide your love/sympathy (whatever) from prying eyes, then there can be no question of any paps and "random" people. Again, if it's REALLY private. But what did we get during the year from holivia? Even JLo and Ben were not so often filmed by papas.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Camille also had Harry's specific shirt from the tour." What are these childish excuses towards Olives? Yes, she was, BUT did Camille wear his sword as if she didn't have her own clothes? Did she do it every day? In general, I don't want to discuss how Camille messed up, BUT their relationship with Harry looked very real compared to the circus of holivia.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And in conclusion I want to say.
If Olivia really doesn't care what "not Harry's fans" say to her, then does she really need support if she is completely indifferent to someone else's opinion? If she doesn't care, why are you, styles.wilde doing all this?
Maybe because her team is getting out of control because even the general public has stopped believing in it? Maybe because Olivia was so desperate in her lies that her publicist decided to use you to try to "figure out" everything by denigrating people who see the truth?
Anyway, I feel your panic and BUA.
Tell me you're pathetic without saying you're pathetic🤡
TPWK, Limma xo
54 notes · View notes
alltheselights · 3 years ago
Note
Doesn't that mean Larry isn't a thing though?
First, let me note that this is something Harry and everyone around him has been saying in not so many words since November 2019, and if you were in doubt then, the music video could not have been more obvious about the intent of the song, or at least the marketing.
But to answer your question, no, it doesn’t. I feel like one of the main reasons why Harry's comments from last night would make you freak out or question your beliefs about Harry and Louis or double down in your denial about what the song is intended to be is if you've defined your existence as a Larrie around this idea that Harry is 100% a gay man who could never in a million years be attracted to a woman. And unfortunately, I think a lot of people have done that.
I feel like there has always been this very strict belief that 1) Harry hates his womanizer and fantasy boyfriend roles, that 2) he has despised and been unconvincing in every PR relationship and stunt he’s ever had, and that 3) he is not attracted to women and could never be attracted to women. And I used to fully believe all of these things too, but I feel like with time and perspective, I don’t necessarily anymore.
I think that Harry's womanizer image while in One Direction went several steps too far to the point where he and the other boys were uncomfortable with it, but there were moments where Harry had fun with it. One example is when they were doing that interview in Australia with Liam and Louis and Harry went over to snatch the woman's phone number. Eventually, however, I think it reached a level where he was disgusted and frustrated by it because it came to define him and made him seem like a bad person, which is not accurate, and at that point, he was not interested in playing along with the image they assigned him. I also think it was started at such a young age when he had no power to consent to it truly, and that was never going to be acceptable in any way.
Now that Harry has gone solo, I believe that he has significantly more control than he ever did then. He could have gone in many different directions and he has definitely embraced a more open, ambiguous image, but I think it's hard for people to admit that he's also embraced a new role as a fantasy boyfriend. It's not the same as before, as he's able to be more ambiguous about his sexuality and with his clothing, but he markets his music as being about women, he publicly dates only women, and he takes actions to appeal to the female gaze. I often see people talk about how Harry isn't trying to appeal to women because he doesn't fully embrace a stereotypically masculine look, but as I've seen discussed more and more often lately, those stereotypically masculine looks actually appeal more to the male gaze. This article talks about that. Many men think women are attracted to intimidating, uber macho men, but a lot of women are actually often attracted to men like Harry who are in touch with their feminine side. When Harry is shirtless and sweaty in a music video but also not afraid to wear feminine clothing or to talk about his feelings, that DOES appeal to women. They do find that sexy and attractive, and Harry and his team know that and they play to it when they can.
This role isn’t the only one that Harry embraces now that he's solo, but it is something that he and his team have chosen to do. After so many years of us defending Harry against a womanizer image that took things way too far at a young age while Harry was still figuring himself out, that can be a tough pill to swallow. However, we have to realize that both things can exist in the same universe. Harry can have been uncomfortable with where the womanizer image that he was given at age 16 when he had little power to change it and also choose to embrace a kind of fantasy boyfriend role now that he's a solo artist, older, more comfortable with his sexuality, and able to make decisions for himself. He can take control of a narrative that previously harmed him and use it to benefit him and to sell more music, more merch, and more tickets.
When Harry stunts with women, even when he's very convincing (like with Kendall on the yacht when she was laying on top of him and kissing him, or with Olivia on the yacht recently where they were dancing and kissing), you see people claim that it's a "gay yacht" or that he seems miserable even when he doesn't. Do I believe both are absolutely PR relationships and not genuine? Yes. Do I believe that Harry acted convincingly as someone interested in women in both instances? Yes. I think part of the reason why yachtgate with Kendall was so upsetting to me at the time because even though I never believed it was genuine, it LOOKED genuine, and I’d never thought Harry could pull that off. I think part of the reason why the Olivia yacht stuff didn’t bother me at all is because at this point, I do believe Harry can convincingly appear to be interested in women, even if he’s also interested in men, and so when he did, I was fine with it and didn’t feel threatened by it. It’s the same thing with Harry’s acting in DWD where a lot of Larries tried to claim he was unconvincing after seeing a two second clip of him making out with a woman. I thought he looked fine, as did most of the random people who watched that clip, and it did not threaten my beliefs about Harry because I recognize that he can be convincing in heterosexual roles and it doesn’t impact whether he likes men or not or whether he’s in a relationship with Louis or not.
Now don’t get me wrong - I don’t think he’s convincing in every instance, not even in every instance with Olivia or Kendall, but I’m just saying that I think he can play the role with them when he wants to. I don’t think he appeared uncomfortable in either instance. And I think when you admit that and acknowledge it, it’s easier to be a fan because you’re not living in denial and trying to act like Harry is DISGUSTED by these women and could never in a million years convince anyone he’s attracted to them, or attracted to women in general.
I don’t know if Harry is attracted to women, but based on his behavior and the types of things he writes in recent years, I do believe that it’s a possibility. I know I’m in the minority on that, just as I am with most of my beliefs, but even if people don’t agree with me, I feel like it’s really important that people realize that your existence as a Larrie should not be so rooted in Harry only liking men that your theories are all threatened or you’re enraged by a comment about a song being about female orgasms when they’ve been clear about that since day one. Harry can like women and still like men. Harry can like women and still be with Louis. Harry can write a sexual song about women and still like men. Harry can write a sexual song about women with numerous co-writers and still be with Louis. These things are not mutually exclusive, and when you treat them like they are, that’s when the denial starts and that’s when people start getting angry and upset with Harry over something that is not a big deal.
31 notes · View notes
nowandajenn · 4 years ago
Text
Blue Christmas- Six
Tumblr media
Pairing: Chris Evans/OC Kelly
Summary: After almost three years of marriage, everyone would tell you that Chris and his wife Kelly are the most stable, solid couple they know. But behind closed doors, things are tense as they keep trying for a baby, to no avail. When a secret threatens to shake their solid marriage to it’s core, will they be able to pick up the pieces?
Warnings: language, angst, shitty moms, family drama.
Author’s Note: I do not consent to have my content, whether it be this story or anything else of my creation, posted by a third party on any other platform other than right here without my permission. This blog is 18+ and is not intended for minors. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Heed the warnings.
Tumblr media
December 24th
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. 
The same thought runs through my head like a conga line as I stand in the bathroom of Connor’s house, finishing up my makeup. 
“Hey, you almost ready?” 
I jump at the sound of Connor’s voice and his sudden appearance behind me in the mirror and almost stab myself in the eyeball with my eyeliner pencil. 
“How pissed do you think they’d be if I just didn’t show up?” I ask him rhetorically, already knowing the answer. 
“Well, dad would be disappointed but he’d understand, and mom would probably come and hunt you down and never let you hear the end of it.”
“I could just never answer her calls again.” I shrug. 
“Yeah, but then she’d show up at your house, the studio, HERE....and since I don’t feel like having her come over unannounced because you decided to be a chicken and skip out on Christmas Eve dinner, move your ass. We’re leaving in five minutes.”
Tumblr media
As we stand in front of my parents’ front door, I run through a list in my head of things that I’d rather be doing than getting ready to face my parents. Or more specifically, my mother. 
Get stung by a jellyfish. Having to walk through a room full of Legos barefoot. Pulling my own fingernails out one by one. Okay, maybe I went too far with that one. 
“You ready?” Connor asks. 
“No.” I deadpan. 
Before we can stop her, Olivia reaches up and rings the doorbell. 
I heave out a sigh of relief when it’s my dad that answers the door, knowing that at least I’m not going to be insulted before I even step foot inside the house. 
We get ushered inside the house take off our coats before my dad wraps me in a hug. 
“Where’s Chris?” he asks. 
“He’s over at his dad’s house. You only get me tonight.” I say with a small smile. 
“I guess we’ll have to make do.” he huffs out dramatically. 
I make my way into the kitchen and my sister Colleen immediately hands me a glass of red wine. 
“Here, you might need this.” she tells me. I roll my eyes, knowing that there’s no other choice than to nut up and face the music. 
“Hey mom.”
My mom turns from the stove, her face completely devoid of any emotion. 
“I didn’t even know if you were coming tonight, since you haven’t returned any of my phone calls or anything.”
“I’m sorry. I should have called you back. Things have been a little.....” my emotions start to bubble up in my throat, threatening to choke me. “Things have been busy. I’ve been swamped with work and getting last minute things done for Christmas. I wasn’t actively trying to ignore you.” I tell her. 
“Why did you come with Connor and Olivia? Where’s Chris?” 
Here we go. 
“He’s at his dad’s house.” 
“Why didn’t you go with him?” 
“Because I knew I’d never hear the end of it if I didn’t show up here tonight. Chris will get let off the hook, though, right?” It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. 
“Chris is a busy man. He has an excuse.” 
I take a deep breath, count to ten, and let it out before walking out of the kitchen. If there’s anything my mother loves more than passive aggressively insulting me at every turn, it’s getting the last word. 
Tumblr media
We’re all sitting around the living room opening presents when the doorbell rings. Since I’m closest to the door, I get up to answer it and nearly have a small stroke when I open the door. 
“Hey.” Chris says, standing on my parents’ porch with his hands stuffed in his pockets. 
I can only stand there and blink owlishly at him as my brain tries, and fails, to come up with something intelligent to say. 
I look over my shoulder into the house to see that everyone is thankfully not paying attention, and pull the front door closed behind me. 
“What are you doing here?” I ask, my breath puffing up in clouds in front of my face. 
“Listen, I know what you’re thinking, but listen to me. I know your parents don’t know about what’s going on with us, and I know that if they think something is wrong, they’re going to be all over you.” Chris tells me. 
I wrap my arms around myself and swallow hard. 
I hate that he’s right. 
“Can we just pretend that everything is okay? Just for tonight? We get through dinner with your parents and get you off the hook, and then, we can....” he trails off. 
Before I can either agree or tell him to get the fuck off the porch, the door opens and my dad steps out. 
“Chris! Hey, we thought you weren’t going to be able to make it!” my dad says, pulling him in for one of those man hug things. 
“Not a chance. Finished up early so I headed right over. Sorry I’m late.” 
My dad eyes me disapprovingly. “Get in the house before you catch pneumonia.”
Three things happen simultaneously when Chris steps foot into the house: Olivia squeals at top volume (because Uncle Chris is her favorite person in the world, second only to me) and runs into his waiting arms, my mom’s almost always stern looking face breaks into a huge smile, and Connor and Colleen’s jaws both drop open at almost the exact same time. It would be funny if I weren’t shitting my pants even more now about how the rest of this night was going to go. 
Tumblr media
Halfway through dinner, things are going about as well as can be expected, but I’m still ready for this night to just be over. Between Chris sitting next to me and having to act like we’re still the Chris and Kelly we used to be, the 13 passive aggressive digs my mom has thrown at me over the course of the evening, and the headache trying to hatch in my brain, I’m ready for this night to be over. 
“How are things going at the studio, sweetheart?” my dad asks me. 
“They’re fine. It’s always busy this time of year.” I tell him, pushing the food around on my plate.
“It must not be that busy if you can afford to be closed during the middle of the holiday season.” my mom sniffs. 
“Brenda-” my dad warns. 
“Mom, just let it go, okay? I needed a break. Things were a little hectic and I was getting burnt out. I needed some time off, and so did my staff.” I tell her. 
I reach for the bottle of wine to refill my glass, and my mom snatches it from my hand. 
“You’ve had enough. You’ve been drinking like a lush tonight, and I know you’re smoking again. I can smell it on you. You treat your body like shit; no wonder you can’t get pregnant.” 
The sound of several sets of silverware clattering against the fine China that’s only brought out for Christmas is deafening. 
My face burns with embarrassment and my heart lodges itself somewhere in the vicinity of my throat. Hot, angry tears spring to my eyes, and it takes me a minute before I can even move. 
Chris is absolutely frozen, absolute shock and disappointment evident on his face at what my mother just said. It was the lowest possible blow she could have dealt, and she just absolutely nailed me with it with no remorse whatsoever. 
Tumblr media
Without a word, I push my chair back and stand up on shaky legs and leave the table and everyone hears the front door slam less than a minute later. 
When his brain can fully process what just happened, Chris gets up and runs out the door after me, just in time to hear 
“Just let her go. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. She’s too sensitive.”
Tumblr media
When Chris comes outside, I’m leaning against the passenger side door of his car, trying and failing to light a cigarette through my sobs. 
“Hey, hey, stop. Come here. Give me that.” he says, taking the lighter from me. He flicks it once and holds the flame steady so I can light the cigarette and I take a deep drag in. He lights his own and leans against the car next to me. 
“I stopped being surprised by anything she said a long time ago, you know. I stopped being shocked when she would make shitty comments about my weight or my clothes or anything I did. She’s always been like that with me. Nothing was ever good enough. I was never going to be as good as Colleen or Connor because I was the mistake. I was the baby she never wanted. I never tried to let it bother me or let it get to me, but....” I sob quietly and sniffle in the cold air. “Man, she just fucking sucker punched me right in the face. I never should have even told her about it; about how I was having trouble getting pregnant......I should have known.......” my words trail off as more sobs shake my body. 
“Come here.” Chris whispers. He pulls me against his chest and wraps his arms around me and I hold onto him as tight as I can. 
“I’m so sorry.” he whispers against my hair. Over the sound of the wind blowing, I can hear raised voices inside and can only imagine what’s going on in there. And to think it had been a pretty decent night up until that point. 
“Will you take me home? I just....I don’t want to go back to Connor’s. I can’t be around any of them right now. I just want to go home and see Dodger and drink some more.” 
“Okay. Whatever you want.” 
 The Usual Suspects: @averyrogers83 @wordywarriorwrites @imanuglywombat @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @hlkwrites @reminiscingrogers @mom—nicole @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @kelbabyblue @sarahp879 @moonlessnight14 @mojean13 @mrskokitztelford @artisticrogers1972 @southerngracela @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mybesttobobcratchit @gracethegeek9902 @mdemontespan1667 @marvelfansworld @capslut2014 @dispatchvampire @jamielea81 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @southerngracela​ @what-is-your-plan-today @letsdisneythings​ @theladybiers @lexeeehhh @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @autumnrose40 @donutloverxo​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @jessaywahh-blog​@smediumsmeatbae @before-we-get-started​ @lizette50 @littlegasps @rageshots @what-is-your-backupplan-today @clairebubbles @patzammit @sweet--catrastophe
Kinktober 2020: @saiyanprincessswanie​ @superquirky-blog
96 notes · View notes
gxccistyless · 4 years ago
Text
Fine Line: The Divorce Series - Part three.
Tumblr media
Here is the last part of fine line - the divorce series.  You can read part one here and part two here
I would LOVE to write some one shots based on Harry and Eliza. Feel free to send in requests!! 
That night after he left Eliza’s  Harry went home and sits in his shower for 45 minutes, he thought about going to the pub and then he thought about going to the liquor store to get a bottle of bourbon to drink it in its entirety all in an attempt to try and forget about the fact that he had just kissed Eliza. Harry decides against it, he calls his sponsor instead, his sponsor came to lend an ear and help him get through the night, without liquor. He and his sponsor had become close, he could trust his sponsor to be there for him without feeling the need to worry about his personal struggles with alcohol being leaked to the press.
Two weeks later he found himself at a social gathering at his sponsors house, a family garden party of sorts, alcohol free of course, and that’s where he first met  Olivia Dane. He and Olivia seemed to have an instant connection, no awkward spots in their conversations, no awkward silences where he felt the need to fill time with rambling. Conversation flowed freely. He left that night not having a single drop of alcohol, and with her number in his phone. One week later they were out to dinner ams six weeks after that had her on his arm down the red carpet. 
Eliza and Harry never discussed the kiss. For him it was something he was able to freely move passed, for her it was so much more. The kiss lingered on her mind for weeks and weeks she had so many unanswered questions, questions she knew she might never have answers to. The two had reverted back to old ways, going through third parties to organise Harry spending time with Koa and Lennon. Eliza didn’t love the idea of not having any contact with Harry, especially because they had just started going to therapy and she was really hoping that this would be the turning point in their co-parenting attempt. She was happy that their children had their father back though, every child deserves happy and healthy parents was her fundamental belief. That’s truly all she has ever wanted for Harry, for him to be happy and healthy. With Harry out of the picture for her, she spent more time getting closer to her now partner Andrew. She never spoke a word of the kiss. 
Tumblr media
harrystyles . MINE .  LIked by jefezoff, oliviadane and 12,573,399 others.  The post took Eliza by surprise. She saw it on a Sunday morning as she was lazing in bed. She wanted to be happy for him, she wanted him to love and to be loved, but she still wanted him to love her. It was selfish of her, and she was aware of this. Selfish because she has and still was seeing someone else, so why shouldn’t he be able to do the same. But that kiss still lingered in the back of her mind.
She would come to find out some hours later that at some point during the day Harry had unfollowed her on all social media platforms. This hurt her more than it should have, Andrew copping the brunt of her anger, leading them to a huge argument where he had accused her of still being in love with Harry. I can’t be in this relationship with you Eliza, this isn’t healthy. You still love him and that’s okay, but let’s be honest here you can’t love him and still have me. He was right. They ended things that night.  Harry was thinking about introducing Olivia to his kids. It had been on his mind for a while, probably from the second week he had known her. Him co-parenting with Eliza made it harder for him to see Olivia on weekends. He had just gotten into such a good schedule with having the kids again he didn’t want to cancel visits, but he also didn’t want to lay in bed alone at night when they were asleep. Olivia didn’t fancy children very much, her opinion of children didn’t change just because they were linked to the man she was sleeping with. Harry waited three months before he organised a brunch date where she would meet the children. 
Anne had gone to Elizas to pick up the children just as she had been all this time. Koa had fallen ill and Eliza had almost canceled their visit but she had caught wind that the kids would be meeting Olivia and decided against canceling, but packing everything from his prescription medication to his favourite lovey just to be safe, writing out a note giving perfectly clear descriptions about the contents of the bag and their uses.  Olivia rolled her eyes and complained about said bag and note she seems so dramatic over a damn cold were her exact words. Harry didn’t say anything in return letting her comment slide. It was moments like this that he would come to later regret, letting things slide was in his opinion the way people got into bad behaviours, but he loved her and didn’t want to royally fuck this day up over a comment before it had even really started.  He seemed to think that the brunch went well, Olivia on the other hand was less than enthused. Koa had spilt his yoghurt, Lennon her orange juice, children were crying and there was snot everywhere. Despite her distaste for the children of the man she loved, she smiled through it. But really all she could think about was ways to get Harry to herself next weekend, child (and snot) free. She somehow managed it and the following weekend, an hour before Harry was scheduled to have the kids, he canceled. Something about a surprise weekend in Paris that had been sprung on him at the last minute was the reasoning Eliza had gotten off of Anne. 
Tumblr media
oliviadane you had me at bonjour ❤️ Liked by harrystyles, jefezoff and 5,452 others.
Harry’s visits with the children had become few and far between by late September. Fallon’s anniversary was fast approaching and Eliza was not coping. Anne, who had stayed in contact with her and loved her like a second daughter picked up on it. Eliza was out of sorts, and rightfully so. She had a lot on her plate between the twins and mentally trying to process the upcoming date. Harry on the other hand was off in a different country every week. Brushing off the responsibilities of parenthood had yet again come so easy to him, Eliza wasn’t surprised at this point. Old habits die hard. Anne had let her concerns about Eliza known to Gemma who went to visit to see for herself. Eliza was a mess, Anne had not been lying. Gemma gave Harry and absolute ear bashing on the phone, told him how much of a disappointment he was to her and their mother, how his kids would resent him some day, how he should be ashamed of himself. Gemmas words must have hit a nerve, or at least talked some sense into him. The following week Harry had done a complete 180 again and the visits with the children, much to Olivia’s dismay, were back on schedule. 
Tumblr media
It started with small incidents at first. Koa coming home crying, Lennon expressing her disinterest in going to her fathers house for weekend visits. The weekend before Fallon’s anniversary was the last straw. Koa was screaming and crying as Anne’s car pulled away from Eliza’s house. Eliza could hear his blood curdling shrieks from down the road as she stood frozen in her driveway watching her babies drive away. She hated sending them to him when they were in such a state but she couldn’t figure out what the sudden change had been, they had always loved spending time with their dad until suddenly the didn’t. 
Harry came home from the studio at around lunchtime. His mum had brought the kids some hours earlier and Olivia had been with them for the few hours that they had been there. Harry did not expect to come home to two screaming, crying, hyperventilating children. How long have they been crying? Olivia rolled her eyes and told him they hadn’t shut up since they had gotten there, adding in that they had given her a splitting headache and she was very happy he was home because now they were his problem. Harry knew in that moment that he would have to break up with her. Her small comments about his children and the mother of his children needed to stop, he thought that once she got used to the idea of having the kids around and spending more time with them to get to know them a little better that the comments would stop, but they didn’t. He couldn’t change her, her hatred for children was so deep seeded there was no flipping this situation. He thought that perhaps they could spend one last night together and that he would break it off in the morning once the children had left, but then he noticed the bruises on the children’s arms. When he asked Lennon what had happened she simply pointed to Olivia and that was enough to send him into a fit. Olivia had her bags packed and was out of the house by nightfall. 
Elizas doorbell rang at approximately 7.45pm. She found Harry on her doorstep childless. She panicked thinking something had happened to the twins at first and he must have seen it in her face because he just about jumped at the chance to tell her that his mother was watching them. This had been the first time since the kiss that the two had seen each other.  She pulls the door open more than it had been and lets him stroll through. She makes him a coffee whilst she makes herself a tea and then he tells her everything. She wants to press charges, to hunt this lady down and give her a bruising. Harry tells her that the children need her to be with them at home and not in a jail cell, she decides for once that Harry may have the better judgement here and settles down with Harry promising to never bring her, or any other woman, around their kids every again.  The following weekend, the family of four had an afternoon picnic at Fallon’s grave. It was nothing special, Eliza and Harry both cried the whole time, holding each other extra tight. It had been a rough year for the both of them, they had come so far yet here they found themselves back where they belonged the most... in each other’s arms, surrounded by all their children. With Olivia gone, Koa and Lennon relaxed and seemed to be once again enjoying their time with Harry. Truth be told, she had been enjoying time with Harry too. He became a regular for breakfasts at Eliza’s, and then when the kids were at kindy he became a regular for lunch, and then dinner and then a regular in her bed. This has been over the course of a few months, Eliza made boundaries very early on and part of her stipulations were that they needed to have weekly therapy and not put too much pressure on themselves. In true Harry and Eliza style, the two didn’t take things too slow.
Harry and Eliza remarried in a causal courthouse ceremony in late January, his mum and Gemma were their witnesses. They went to a swanky restaurant to celebrate with the most expensive Sunday roast dinner Harry has ever had in his life. Harry surprised the public with the news, they had somehow managed to keep the rekindling of their relationship under wraps and the media and fans lost their minds in unison. The pair were a hot topic for days.
Tumblr media
harrystyles Eliza Ray Styles, I am so lucky that you agreed to marry me twice in one lifetime. I don’t deserve you, but I will love you until the day I die. Love you, wife.  Liked by elizastyles, annetwist and 32,763,278 others.  A few weeks later, it was their turn to be surprised with news that they were once again expecting. Both Harry and Eliza were secretly relieved to only see one baby on the screen at the first appointment. Eliza decided to keep this pregnancy to herself, Harry had no tours and no press junkets and no radio interviews and the pair were both able to fully enjoy the pregnancy. Eliza went into labour in the early out of October 3rd, what would have been Fallon’s 6th birthday, and gave birth and home in the water just six hours later. They once again found themselves trending for days after the announcement of the birth of their son. 
Tumblr media
elizastyles for the last nine months, we have been holding the news of this little blessing very close to our hearts. One month ago, Jairus Cohen Styles arrived three weeks early, happy and healthy, and shares a birthday with his Angel sister Fallon Noel. Our family is complete. We are both tired and in love ❤️ Liked by harrystyles, jefezoff and 7,625,618 others. 
60 notes · View notes
artificialqueens · 4 years ago
Text
On The Ground (Rosénali) - Moonshot
A/N: So… Guess who is back after a year of not writing fics? Yours truly! What can I say? Rosénali is that powerful of a ship. As always, I hope eveyone enjoys this fic. Feel free to let me know what you think… Who knows, there might be a follow up to this little fluff in the future! Little side note: this is a lesbian au where most of the s13/s12 girls appearing are cis-female, however Mik is still a trans man in the fic.
Summary: The diner girl!Denali x street singer!Rosé AU based on Blackpink’s Rosé’s solo music that nobody asked for!
ao3 link https://archiveofourown.org/works/30267687
Denali stared at the round clock above the entrance of the diner.
4:57 PM. 
Three more minutes until her shift was over.
Three more minutes until the girl who had been a fixed character in her dreams would come from around the corner, set up her guitar, greet the passersby before starting her set for the evening like she did every Wednesday.
“So, gorge, are you going to ask the champagne girl out today, or are you just going to keep on creepily staring at her from afar?”, her coworker, Kade - or as everyone called him, Mik - appeared next to her with an empty tray.
“Her name is Rosé, not champagne girl!”, Denali rebutted, “and also, for the record, I don’t just… stare. I just happen to like appreciating her set without bothering her! It’s not like she was flirting with me that one time”.
“Did I just hear our Nali denying her crush on that pink-haired singer, again?”, Olivia, who was busy running the cash register, chimed in.
“Girl, I think we should start betting against her and maybe we’ll make more money than what they can pay us here!”, Mik joked as he washed some of the dishes in the sink.
The black-haired girl rolled her eyes, ignoring her two best friends and focusing on the performer’s much-anticipated arrival.
Denali didn’t believe in love at first sight but after the first time Rosé and her guitar had shown up on the other side of the road from Tamisha’s Diner, she couldn’t think about anything else. 
There was just something about the other girl that had the Alaskan girl enamored.
The first - and so far only - time she had talked to Rosé was out of necessity as the other girl and who she assumed were her two best friends - the diner girls had dubbed them ‘Pastel Powerpuff girls’ - had decided to dine in just as Denali’s shift at the register had started.
“Hi! Did you enjoy our diner?”, the skater had put on her best smile, not quite able to meet the gaze of the taller girl as she typed out the receipt.
“Oh, sure, the skating gig is cute, the food’s great, and the service… isn’t too bad either,” Denali could see from the corner of her eye the smirk on the pink-haired girl.
“Rosie! Quit flirting with every cute girl that breathes and hurry up or Jan and I are leaving you here, the Uber is going to be here in 2 minutes!”, the blue-haired girl went on with the other girl in the friend group while ‘Rosie’ rolled her eyes at them.
“Sorry about Lagoona, she has the tact of an elephant on rollerskates,” the taller girl joked.
“O-Oh, no problem. So, your total is 20,04$, will you be paying in cash or card? Also, are you splitting the bill?”
“Since dumb and dumber over there already left, I’ll just pay everything with my card,” she replied taking out her purse and taking out her credit card, “here you go, angel”.
Denali tried her best not to blush at the sudden pet name, maintaining her on-the-clock persona as she brought out the card reader. She quickly finished up the operation and handed the pink-haired girl her card back with the receipt, “I just need a quick signature here and you’re free to go to your friends”.
‘Rosie’ scribbled down her signature - she learned her actual name was Rosé, classy yet slightly worrying - and left a tip for her. 
A 10$ tip for her.
“Gorge, she left you a 10$ tip, she was basically asking for your hand in marriage”, Mik reminded her, his eyes darting around the half-empty diner. 
He nodded his head to his left where Denali saw another one of her co-workers sharing a milkshake with her girlfriend, giggling like teenagers, “I’m just saying. If Utica managed to end up dating that self-proclaimed ebony enchantress over there, you got a chance with wine girl”, he ended with his trademark L.A vocal fry.
Denali knew Mik had a point, but as she was about to reply, she heard the familiar sound of a guitar starting a new song. Her eyes glanced back at the clock.
5:14 PM
Damn, she had missed the beginning of the set.
The Alaskan girl didn’t lose any more time as she clocked out, skates still on her feet as she zoomed out of the diner.
“Aaaaand she’s gone!”, Olivia commented, turning her head to Mik, “Do you think this time is the good one?”
“Well, if she doesn’t finally go after her, I might as well go after her myself!”
Denali reached the usual crowd that had already formed around Rosé, trying her best to blend in and not be seen by the singer while still getting a good view of the set.
“Well, aren’t you guys a lovely crowd!”, the pink-haired singer smiled as she got ready for the next song, “I’ve got one last song for today and this is going to be the first time I’ll be performing it, so, don’t hate it too much!”, she chuckled as she checked her guitar before turning her head back to the mic stand, “This is On The Ground, I’m Rosé and I hope you’ve enjoyed the set! Feel free to drop your tips in the guitar case!”
Denali couldn’t take her eyes off Rosé when she heard the guitar’s first chord paired with the honey-like vocals.
My life’s been magic seems fantastic
I used to have a hole
in the wall with a mattress
It’s funny when you want it
Suddenly you have it
You find out that your gold’s just plastic
The black-haired girl quickly pulled out her phone, opened her voice memo app, and hit record. She wanted to treasure the magic Rosé’s voice brought. 
What she failed to notice while she was so into the song was a pair of hazel eyes settling on her as the song reached its climax.
A couple of days later, Denali had just finished with her teaching job at the local ice rink when she spotted Olivia on the railings. 
“The suspicious lack of a certain pink-haired girl makes me think that you still haven’t asked her out” she heard the younger girl say as she skated her way to her.
“You’ll never let it go, won’t you, Liv?”
“Not when I see that you like her and, from what I’ve seen, she is at least interested in you. Mik tried to ask her out yesterday after your shift was over,” the other girl replied.
Denali furrowed her brows, “Wait, he was serious about asking her out? I thought he was just joking!”
“If you don’t act on your cute pink crush, you can’t expect everyone else to stop for you,” Olivia reasoned, “if it’s of any help, Mik did say that, and I quote ‘she didn’t want a piece of this fine ass’”, she finished, air quoting their co-worker.
“To be honest, the dude’s barely got an ass compared to me,” Denali muttered, but her best friend managed to catch it.
“Well, as Symone said, you do have a fat ass,” Olivia commented, causing both of them to laugh out loud.
She continued, “Point still stands though, you gotta do something or you might just end up regretting not doing anything about it”.
The dark-haired girl sighed, “I know, I’m just… scared to get hurt because she seems so cool and unreachable, and I’m just so… me?”, she confessed, resting her arms on the rails.
“Give it a chance, Nali,” Olivia replied, laying her hand on the skater’s arm and giving it a gentle squeeze, “And just in case, if she fucks you over, we’ll just unleash Kandy on her!”, she added, making Denali chuckle.
“Girl, if she knew you said that…”
“She would do absolutely nothing because she’s too busy chasing after that Joey guy”, she didn’t miss a beat with her reply, giving her a knowing look, “Almost forgot to ask, are you coming later to the club with the others?”
Denali shook her head, “No, sorry. I don’t feel like clubbing today, I’ll just skate a bit more and then go home to watch some Netflix”.
Olivia shrugged her shoulders, “You do you, girl. But think about what I said, okay?”
She gave her best friend a small smile, “Thanks, Liv. See you at work?”
The younger girl nodded and left Denali to her thought as she exited the room. The black-haired skater turned her head back to the rink, noticing that only a few people were left on the ice. 
She took a deep breath, putting her earbuds back in and looking through her phone to decide on what song to use for her last routine of the day. Her eyes fell on the voice memo app, immediately reminding herself of the recording she had taken just a few days prior. She hadn’t even listened to it since she had recorded it.
It wasn’t a clean recording, she could hear the sounds of the city and the people around her, but she closed her eyes and focused on Rosé’s voice, letting it guide her. 
The music fully took her over as she performed her usual stunts.
I’m way up in the clouds
And they say I’ve made it now
But I figured it out
Everything I need is on the ground
She found herself in the center of the rink, the bridge of the song was blasting in her ears. She smiled to herself as she started to spin, gradually picking up speed while Rosé’s high notes were all she could focus on.
Just drove by your house
So far from you now
But I figured it out
Everything I need is on the
Everything I need is on the ground
The recording stopped abruptly, she remembered how she had to bolt away, almost missing her bus home. 
Denali could hear her heavy breathing, suddenly aware again that she wasn’t alone. But she had made up her mind.
She was going to talk to Rosé the following Wednesday. 
That Wednesday the diner was busier than usual, giving Denali barely a moment to think, let alone realize she was missing Rosé’s set outside.
She glanced at the clock.
5:26 PM
Shit.
She turned her head and looked outside the diner’s big windows and saw that the pink-haired girl was starting to gather her things.
“Miss Iman just left, go to her! We’ll cover for you and we are not letting you get back in unless you got a date!”, Olivia said quietly enough for just her to hear.
Denali couldn’t help the grin spreading across her face. She grabbed some of the tips that she had made before she bolted outside, faintly hearing the cheering of her friends.
As she reached Rosé on the other side of the road, the singer’s back was facing her, she didn’t seem to have noticed Denali yet.
The black-haired girl took a deep breath, just like she had done on the ice rink, and let the tips fall into the still open guitar case.
The noise of falling change was what made Rosé turn around, a surprised look on her face as she registered Denali’s face.
“Denali?”
Gosh, she could hear the other girl say her name all day.
Wait.
“How do you know my name?”, Denali asked slightly confused.
Rosé didn’t reply but simply pointed at the waitress’s chest.
Oh, right. The nameplate on her uniform.
“That and also I tend to remember a pretty face when I see one,” she added, now her attention fully on the shorter girl.
“Oh, yeah, right”, she fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing where to look, “Uhm, I just wanted to say that you have a really beautiful voice. You can consider me your first fan when you make it big”.
Rosé smiled at her and Denali couldn’t help but notice how beautiful of a smile she had. 
The singer turned back to her stuff, shuffling things around and leaving the brunette to her thoughts. She wanted to ask the taller girl out but felt all her courage leave her body.
Way to go, Nali.
“Well, Uhm, I think I should-”, she started but she was stopped by the pink-haired girl, who had finished packing everything up.
“Here, this is for you”.
It was a jewel case cd, a picture of Rosé in a very 80s inspired attire on the cover with pink marker writing across the front.
‘To Denali
My first (and hopefully not last) fan
     Rosé xo’    
  It was signed with a small rose doodle next to Rosé’s name and, much to Denali’s surprise, a phone number along with the phrase ‘put it to good use’.
She looked up to find the other girl staring at her, her guitar case strapped on her back. She gave her a wink and started walking towards the subway.
Denali stood there for what felt like forever as she watched Rosé disappear in between the crowd of people roaming the streets. 
She looked back down at the cd, committing the number to memory. She turned around to look at the back, her eyes were drawn to the tracklist. 
She smiled when she saw On The Ground. 
Finally, she didn’t have to listen to a shitty phone recording to enjoy it. 
“Wait, what? You had recorded it all secretly and shady, mama?”
Rosé’s laugh filled the room as Denali tried to hide her face on the other girl’s bare chest.
“You’re an ass! I just wanted to use it for one of my skating routines”, she muttered, causing her girlfriend to laugh even harder.
“I find it cute that I’m not even famous and my music has already been pirated!” she commented, “I’m already halfway there to stardom, baby girl,” she added, kissing the top of Denali’s head.
The shorter girl groaned as she hid the increasing blush on her cheeks, rolling her body so that she was on top of the pink-haired girl.
“Well, miss Rosé, is it pirating if it was for personal pleasure only?”, Denali teased, running her hands upwards on the naked skin, slowly lowering herself until her face was inches away from her girlfriend’s.
She felt Rosé’s hands take a firm hold of her behind, “Oh angel, I’ll show you personal pleasure,” the singer replied, eliminating the little space left between their lips as Denali brought her hands to cup the older girl’s face.
Rethinking about those lyrics Rosé had written months prior, Denali knew she was right, she did have everything she needed on the ground.
It was to be right there with Rosé.
24 notes · View notes
beardofkamenev · 4 years ago
Text
When Adults Attack! (Teenagers)
(Sorry to everyone for dragging this up again, but some people are chronically incapable of letting drama die down.)
The last time I posted about this was 18 February. It’s now late-March. Despite repeatedly claiming to be “over it”, a self-proclaimed “respected history blogger” has been screaming into the void for over a month now. She seems to be under the unfortunate impression that she’s completely innocent of wrongdoing, all the criticism is unprovoked, she has been targeted by “white bigots”, and that she’s somehow the real victim here. So now I have to explain why that’s bullshit. Unlike her and her two friends, I don’t make extreme but vague accusations with zero evidence. I don’t make empty threats about “exposing” people.
The short story? She involved her own self in a situation that had nothing to do with her, downplayed her friends’ racism towards others, incited her followers to harass a teenager, repeatedly lied to her followers about the multiple POC who criticised her friends being “white”, and has continued to inflame the issue while trying to downplay her role in doing so. The long story? Well, I’ll let the receipts do the talking.
Tumblr media
That’s Olivia’s first post at the start of February, days before I or anyone else had even said anything. “My anonymous Jewish friend said!” should have been a red flag to anyone capable of reading anything longer than 280 characters. I’ve already explained why Haley (lucreciadeleon/turtlemoons plus her 92849374 alt accounts) is full of shit and so have plenty of others (here, here, and here, to name a few).
Olivia claims that, as a Romani woman, she’s not obliged to engage with content that offends her. Fine. So why is a black teenager obliged to engage with Haley’s deranged anons? Why are her hate anons are so worthy of a response that not responding is an act of ANTISEMITISM that warrants Olivia telling everyone what an antisemite this teenager is for not responding? FYI, NO ONE is obligated to respond to anon hate, especially from people they’ve already blocked. And considering Haley admitted not once, not twice, but three times to breaking Tumblr’s TOS to circumvent a mutual block and send those anons (including how she did it), people are especially not obligated to engage with her.
Tumblr media
I made my first posts exposing Taylor (lucreziaborgia/elizabethblount) and Haley’s lies and backtracking on 6 and 7 February. This was before I acknowledged Olivia’s role in inflaming the situation. In fact, I didn’t even know about her tweets until 8 February. Yet, here she is on 6 FEBRUARY already bitching about my posts to her Twitter followers. She has some nerve acting like I victimised her, just because I posted the screenshots of her bitching about me. And bragging about ‘gaslighting’? The word that multiple people have separately described what her two friends subjected them to? Classy.
I can’t “stalk” her public Twitter any more than she can “stalk” my public blog. What an exceptionally stupid claim to make, considering her tweets kept getting recommended to my mutuals whether they liked it or not. Have some integrity and own the shit you say, rather than backtracking, deleting your posts, and pretending that you didn’t say the things we saw you say. If you want to talk shit about others in public, be ready to answer for it in public.
Tumblr media
I also wonder how this started over Henry VII. I specifically wonder how this discussion between myself and May (richmond-rex) triggered Taylor’s totally unprovoked racist comments about how we and Nathen Amin “simp for a dead white man”, and we should “simp for someone who actually advocated for the rights of others” instead. The implication being that Tudor history is only for white people like Taylor, and that only her fave is worthy of discussion (“AnNe BoLeYn WaS oThErEd BeCaUsE sHe WaS tAn.” Good grief).
When multiple POC called bootleg Regina George out for it, not only did she say she couldn’t possibly be racist because Haley approved of her racism, but also tried to argue that Nathen Amin deserved it because it was inappropriate for a British man to joke about Brexit. She then claimed we called her “anti-Welsh” (another fucking lie) to make it seem like a bunch of cRaZy blacks and browns were attacking poor, innocent white her (with Olivia coming to the rescue, of course). And as if that wasn’t enough, Haley then sent these bad faith hate anons calling Nathen Amin’s tweet ANTISEMITIC, for no other reason than to retroactively justify Taylor’s racist comments (though I didn’t see Haley getting offended when she was hate-scrolling through his blog before Taylor was called out).
That was the “antisemitic shit” Haley “privately messaged about” that Olivia thinks deserves a response. In case it's not clear: defending racism makes you complicit in racism. Being Jewish is NOT a get-out-of-racism-free card, and Haley trying to use it as one is absolutely dishonest, especially when NO ONE even knew she was Jewish until she finally admitted in February she was the anonymous ‘Jewish friend’ who sent those batshit anons. Other Jewish people also called Haley out on it, yet Haley and Olivia have conveniently ignored that little fact since it contradicts their narrative.
You think it’s over? Nope. Taylor then slunk into May’s dm’s with a half-arsed apology, where she admitted that the only reason she made those racist comments about Nathen Amin was because we “attacked Gareth Russell first” (“BeCaUsE AnNe FaNs CiTe HiS wOrk”) and she “just wanted to educate us about not lionising Henry VII” (even though anyone with eyeballs can read our discussion see she’s full of shit). At the same time, she and Haley were messaging other history bloggers, telling them that everyone who called them out were antisemites (including an openly Jewish mutual of ours) in an attempt to alienate them from the community. And this was just in JANUARY.
Tumblr media
“I can’t be racist! My Jewish friend agrees with my racism!” That steaming load of backtracking horseshit is unfortunately the kind of nonsense Olivia has chosen to defend. FOR WEEKS Taylor ignored May’s messages, explaining why she — a black woman — found Taylor’s comments offensive. Did Taylor listen? Nope. In fact, she only replied in February: after she already started posting about how ignoring Haley’s hate anons was “antisemitism”. How convenient. Taylor might be a fucking idiot but we’re not. She only replied to May because she was afraid we’d use her own words against her. Clearly she never learnt a damn thing because here she is on 6 February backtracking on her apology. “Actually, I did NOTHING wrong! Also, you’re all antisemites for saying I did because my Jewish friend agrees with me!” And what made Taylor feel as though she had permission to start deflecting her vile behaviour onto others in order to get the heat off her? Olivia’s post about ‘their Jewish friend’ Haley: the one that followed Olivia’s “private discussion” with “her two friends”. Taylor is a racist hypocrite who hides behind the few minority friends she has to justify her racism, and attacks every other minority who disagrees with her. It’s no coincidence that the majority of the history bloggers who have a problem with Taylor and Haley’s nasty behaviour happen to be POC.
Despite Olivia admitting that she knew nothing about that situation other than what those two told her, she still took it upon herself to misconstrue and downplay to all her followers the extent of her friends’ racism, lies, and general nastiness (here she is on 9 MARCH). For her, our problems with racism are little more than “stupid drama”, “Henry VII drama”, “Gareth Russell drama”, “overreacting to a joke”, and “petty disagreements over dead people” because her friends are the perpetrators. Yet she demands everyone sympathise with her never-ending dramas and projects her behaviour onto others, despite the fact that she’s shown absolutely no understanding for why so many people have problems with her friends and has consistently defended the perpetrators. She’s entitled to be upset at whatever she wants to be upset at, but she is not entitled to tell her followers that we can’t be upset about racism directed at us, especially when that situation NEVER EVEN INVOLVED HER.
Tumblr media
I agree. It’s disturbing that three grown women in their mid to late 20s have a vendetta against an 18 year old. Olivia acknowledged that her posts were reckless and that she would have acted differently if she just sat down and thought for one fucking second. But rather than correct the record on the same platform she made those accusations, she doubled down and took off to Twitter, saying that her anger entitled her to act that way. All with zero acknowledgement of the fact that the teenager SHE falsely accused and repeatedly mocked for her age was still being harassed by HER followers as a direct result of HER posts.
She might love the ‘clout’ that comes with a large following, but she evidently doesn’t care about the responsibility that comes with it. In Taylor and Haley’s case, it’s little more than a means to intimidate others into silence. Olivia might be a “respected history blogger” or a “good historian”, but that definitely doesn’t make her a good person. Far from it, if her behaviour is anything to go by.
Tumblr media
This was on 9 February, 3 days after my first post. Bitching about me was all fun and games until the receipts came out, huh?
There’s nothing “insane” about keeping receipts, especially when Taylor and Haley are notorious for lying out of their arses and fake-apologising to people in the dm’s, only to continue mocking them on Twitter afterwards. You know what is insane though? Searching ‘romani’ on our blogs in a pathetic attempt to dig up dirt that doesn’t even exist (yeah, stat trackers exist). Do you know what else is insane? Haley spamming people with passive aggressive anons and sending anon hate to people who’ve already blocked her. She also “stalked” our WOTR group chat, though she’ll never admit to it, despite accidentally posting the dated receipts proving it. Oops!
It’s no secret that Taylor and Haley are cowards (as all bullies are), so it was no surprise when they eventually involved Olivia in their month-old vendetta against a teenager. They wanted to school a black girl on racism and Congolese genocide apologism, so they needed to get a “respectable history blogger” on their side. And Olivia happily obliged, kicking up such a fuss on their behalf that the teenager just offered to end it (despite the fact that Olivia vagued her first). Yet still Olivia continued, publicly mocking her age and calling her an “antisemite” long after the discussion was over (here she is on 24 February still carrying on). Either a teenager is old enough to be publicly shamed for being an “antisemite” and “antiromani bigot”, or she’s too young to be taken seriously. But at 25, Olivia is certainly old enough to know better than to participate in this kind of vile, petty, wannabe Mean Girl behaviour.
Olivia is not black. Taylor is not black. Haley is not black. So for the record, if you are not black, it is not your place to tell BLACK PEOPLE whether they can take issue with apologism for BLACK GENOCIDE. Multiple black history bloggers have already explained why they had a problem with Gareth Russell’s comments about the Congolese genocide (including the teen in question), yet that was less important to Olivia than not being able to call him a sexist weirdo because he’s gay. Olivia cannot speak on all minority issues — especially black and brown issues — and it is arrogant of her to assume that she can, especially since her understanding of the Gareth Russell issue came purely from “what she discussed with her two friends” by her own admission.
Tumblr media
What a take. Here’s the “anti-Romani” post that I supposedly made. Precisely ZERO of my posts were about Olivia and not once did I even name her directly. So her claims that I mounted some kind of “vicious attack” against her is, uh, bullshit. Criticising her and her friends for their nasty, dishonest, and irresponsible behaviour isn’t “anti-Romani” just because she’s Romani. It’s no more “anti-Romani” than her erratic attempts to “expose” me are anti-Asian just because I’m Asian. It’s not any more “anti-Romani” just because the UK government has passed anti-Romani laws, any more than her telling deranged lies about me for over a month is an anti-Asian hate crime simply because there’s been an increase in anti-Asian hate crimes. I’m not British. I’m not from the UK. I have no control over whatever dumb, racist crap her government does. So she can fuck off and continue fucking off if she wants to make me personally responsible for that. The backlash she received had nothing to do with her identity and everything to do with how she purposely incited harassment against a teenager, defended her friends’ racism, and spread demonstrable lies to her followers. The “viciousness” of the backlash she received is directly proportionate to the viciousness of her own baseless attacks against others. She can claim to be more mature than an 18 year old all she wants, but do you know what the actual mature thing to do would have been? To not promote her friends’ lies and nonsense, especially when the other people they tried to involve had the sense to stay out of it.
Olivia, Taylor and Haley are fully-grown adults, but take no responsibility for their actions. Yet, they expect teenagers to have total control over not only their own emotions, but also the emotions and actions of others. Olivia thinks that a teen should be personally responsible for the behaviour of fully-grown adults, yet she’s close friends with Taylor — a racist, xenophobic bully who screenshots Tumblr people’s posts to mock them on Twitter (here and here from December), called Poles who’ve lost relatives in the Holocaust “genocidal loving freaks”, accused an openly Ashkenazi Jewish blogger of “internalised antisemitism” just for criticising her (a white gentile), said that people who like Mary I “resent their own siblings”, co-opted our struggles under Spanish imperialism just so she could bully ‘Spaniards’ (despite her being American and therefore equally responsible for genocide, by her flawed logic), and said that the black teen who called out her racism “really deserved to be bullied” and “needed to be policed”. Olivia is also close friends with Haley, who has a history of attacking people over posts that have nothing to do with her, publicly admitted to circumventing blocks in order to send hate anons, and likened me — a Filipino immigrant — to DONALD TRUMP and a neo-Nazi conspiracy theorist just because I posted the receipts exposing her lies, harassment of others, and projection.
Most of the people who have spoken out against these three didn’t even know each other until last month. Some of ‘us’ have actually blocked each other. Yet all of us agree that their behaviour towards others has been absolutely unacceptable. How is it that so many unrelated people from different corners of the ‘fandom’ have exactly the same problems with exactly the same people? If Olivia want us to take personal responsibility for “our friends’” behaviour, then she should first take responsibility for hers.
Tumblr media
This is on 26 February, over a week after I last posted. As anyone with eyeballs can see, I called her British once. Not “repeatedly”. ONCE. So she can fuck off again with that bullshit. And why did I point that out? Because Olivia, a British citizen, made pejorative comments about “white Eastern Europeans!!!” just because she thinks some Polish people committed the heinous crime of... screenshotting her tweets. They didn’t even do it, and even if they did, how is that even relevant? Everyone knows that one specific Polish person lives rent free in Taylor’s head, so clearly Olivia just took Taylor’s word for it that it must have been The Poles who were “stalking” her. Maybe don’t take paranoid liars at face value next time?
Tumblr media
Shameless, ignorant, tone deaf nonsense. Olivia constantly demands that people treat her and her identity with the utmost respect, yet here she was on 9 February already disrespecting the identities of others just so she can score some petty ‘oppression points’ against them. Why even bring their nationalities up? And why call them “white Eastern Europeans” instead of Polish since she knows they’re Polish? Is it because acknowledging that they are Polish would mean acknowledging that she doesn’t actually have a monopoly on a claim to discrimination or Holocaust trauma? Could it be that dismissing them as just some “white Eastern Europeans” was just another way for her to add credence to her own “pathetic lies” about the situation? There’s a word for that behaviour, and it starts with pro- and ends with -jection.
Let me reiterate: it is IGNORANT of her to use their identity against them, especially when hate-crimes against Polish immigrants have increased in her home country, and especially when the specific people she insulted lost close relatives (including Jewish relatives) in the Holocaust. It’s not “repeatedly mocking her identity” to point out her hypocrisy. Her being Romani is not an excuse for casual xenophobia. She might be able to hide her identity in the UK (though she shouldn’t have to), but Polish immigrants do not have the privilege of passing as first-language white British. I cannot pass as non-Asian. The black girl she and her friends tried to bully off Tumblr cannot pass as non-black. Olivia weaponising people’s identity against them just because she thinks they saw her public tweets is ignorant, petty, and completely uncalled for. She should be absolutely ashamed for using that pathetic argument, but based on her most recent farrago of nonsense, she probably won’t be.
Tumblr media
Here’s her on 7 MARCH. And of course Taylor was the first to like it lol. Olivia may have deluded herself into believing she was just an innocent bystander, but unfortunately, enough people saw her admitting to inserting herself into the situation at the behest of her two friends. With every post before and since, her accusations have gotten wilder and wilder, falser and falser, and more and more irrelevant because she knows full well that none of her followers will bother fact-checking her. That’s the beauty of vagueing people. It’s how Taylor and Haley have been able to get away with pulling the wool over peoples’ eyes for so long. Too bad repetition, projection, and self-righteous outrage doesn’t equate to the truth because those are all those three have.
“SOMEONE NEEDS TO EXPOSE THE WHOLE DAMN LOT OF THEM! BUT IT WON’T BE ME!” 
No one has said anything since 18 February, yet here’s Olivia publicly inciting her followers again. She’s “done talking about it”, yet she’s the only one continuing the drama. She is being ‘persecuted’, yet she mobilises her followers to go after others. She needs to be defended against critics, yet she also can’t resist bragging about big her Tumblr following is, how “piddly” our notes are compared to hers, how she got over 30 followers to report my posts (they’re still up lol), and how many people she can get to dig through our blogs to find anything to “expose” us. Olivia, I’m sorry that you require constant validation from strangers on the internet, but not everyone has the same priorities as you. Some of us just come here to have fun, but having shitstarters in the community is decidedly un-fun.
All my posts were directed at Taylor and Haley, but since Olivia insists on making this revolve around her, let me clarify: she is a hypocrite and a professional victim. Words have meaning, and those words are the most accurate words to describe her behaviour. It has fuck all to do with her identity. She and Haley are professional victims because they act as if their minority statuses exempt them from basic rules of online courtesy and entitle them to run their mouths about others with no consequence. And Olivia is a hypocrite because she demands the respect and understanding that she has repeatedly refused to show to others. She made ignorant, xenophobic comments against Polish people because she falsely assumed they screenshot her public posts bitching about others. She pretends that the many POC who have spoken out against her are just some “white” hive-mind because admitting that we’re not white will discredit the victimhood narrative she’s been peddling to her followers. And she arrogantly presumes to be ‘our’ voice in the community, all while mobilising her following to intimidate and silence the minorities who take issue with her and her friends’ vile behaviour.
It’s extremely telling that in every one of her unlettered rants, Olivia made the conscious choice to conflate us with “white gentiles”, “white antisemites”, and “white Eastern Europeans”. Why? Because in order to “name and shame” us, she’d have to admit to her followers that the majority of the people criticising her aren’t actually “white”, but are in fact black, brown, and Jewish. Having repeatedly demanded that her followers defend her, her reputation and credibility now depends upon people continuing to see her as the oppressed victim of “bigoted whites”. Unfortunately for her and her friends, the truth will always come out. That’s what receipts are for, no matter what they claim.
The history community didn’t side with “a white gentile woman”. We sided with a black teenager who Olivia and her friends repeatedly mocked for her age, publicly and privately spread false accusations against, and incited their followers to harass with their never-ending posts. We sided against white racists like Taylor, and her white-passing enablers like Olivia and Haley. Since being called out for racism by a black girl discredited them, they had to discredit her. And unlike the others Taylor and Haley tried to involve, Olivia was their willing accomplice. If she has now been “alienated by half the history fandom”, it is because of her own behaviour and rightly so.
The ideal course of action would be for Olivia to finally take some responsibility for her actions, publicly apologise for her role in inflaming this drama, and move on like the rest of us have tried to do. But unfortunately, she may be too far gone in her own pathological need for online validation to ever admit wrongdoing without some serious introspection. So perhaps, Olivia, if anything else, you should just take your own advice and, once and for all, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
23 notes · View notes
narcissasdaffodil · 4 years ago
Text
Femslash February 2021
Day 2: Tears
This one is also for the 6 month anniversary of LCBC, I’m using multiple prompt lists x Here’s the A03 link if you prefer reading on there x
It’s unexpected, mostly. When you give your entire heart to someone, you don’t expect them to stamp on it. Marisol found herself replaying the same section of the episode over and over, watching Lottie getting ready to leave.
On screen, the door opened and a tall redhead ran through, and hugged her from behind.
“You can’t leave. I seriously won’t let you. What am I going to do without your witchy love to support me?” Just the soft voice of the redhead breaks Marisol’s heart again. Aderyn Bevan had stolen her heart from the moment she had arrived all those months ago. She had tried to make relationships work with everyone but her mind always came back to her.
When they finally got together, she was so happy. It hurts to remember those memories, but she doesn’t have a heart to break any more. She feels it beating occasionally, but feels so entirely numb.
She forces herself to turn back to the TV, her eyes drawn in by Aderyn, even now. The musician had played her like a fiddle, and managed it effortlessly. Pretending to be in love with her despite holding a small crush on Lottie persistently. Despite taking your side during Roccogate, you could tell how much it hurt her to do that. Going against Lottie wasn’t something she could do without guilt.
“I wish I could stay too, you know. Seeing you and Marisol together, made me realise something. I’ve been sitting on these feelings and pretending they don’t exist, but…” Lottie’s cut off by Aderyn pulling her close and kissing her on the lips. Lottie gasps in surprise, but kisses her back, her arms wind around Aderyn’s back and pull her close. They only separate to breathe and stare into each other’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, was that too forward of me? Have I seen something you didn’t?” Aderyn watched Lottie with wild eyes, strands of hair escaping from her elaborate braided bun. For someone who usually looks so polished, to see the mascara tears trailing down her cheeks and the hair slowly escaping and coming loose in wild auburn curls, felt so strange. Come to think of it, Aderyn had always kept part of herself hidden around you. It was only Lottie, and Lucas who she let herself loose with. You were just left with the public image version of her, the one who kept all emotions hidden and solved all problems with a wide smile on her face. Elisa had warned you about her, said she was far too good to be true. But she had everyone else wrapped around her little finger, so there was no hope for you, really.
Fresh tears spilt down Marisol’s cheeks and she let them go. Her flat was such a tip currently, pizza boxes stacked in piles on every available surface, and tissues. She was usually so neat, but the current situation had left her unable to clean up her own stuff, she had become such a mess. She no longer cared about her flat being a mess, she had barely been out recently. She only went out for the essentials and nothing more. Her phone beeped and she left it on the table, not having the energy to move from the sofa.
“No, of course not. I feel it too. But what about Marisol? I know I left it so late to even say anything, and I have to leave soon. I just never thought you might like me in that way. And can you promise me something? Win, and we’ll work out what’s happening from there,” Lottie squeezed her hand before letting go. She grabbed her suitcase and they left the room together.
Marisol fast forwarded the rest of the episode, not able to see herself and Aderyn together, and in love. Or was she even in love with you? She didn’t accept to be your girlfriend, and looked...uneasy when you said ‘I love you’. Did she just lead you on and were you too blind to see it?
Her flat turned silent as the episode finished and she turned off the TV. She sat in the silent dark room, unable to convince herself to move. We were something, don’t you think so? You’ve turned from someone who as a rule doesn’t listen to Taylor Swift and hates too much noise to needing noise all the time and having a full playlist of sad Taylor Swift songs. Anything to prevent your thoughts from spiralling. But you were the same after Olivia, so of course this happened again.
Her phone beeped again and she continued to leave it. She was in the Islanders group chat, but struggled to see everyone so happy. Everyone found their person, even if they didn’t always leave with them. Hope and Lucas were together, which fit far better than Hope and Noah. Noah himself was with Priya and those were just the people she remembered. She struggled to stay in touch with most of them and could feel them slipping away from her. Hope and Bobby were the only ones who keep contacting you, but they’ll give up eventually. Priya was always saying that she was the outcast, but that was more like you.
As for her, she who cannot be named, the little bird was enjoying life with Lottie. No sign of an apology, or anything to even explain what happened. You were the first person to give her that nickname. To call Aderyn little bird, which started as a joke. To her, you were the sunshine, she took that from your name. Now you can’t even see the sunlight without thinking of her.
She snapped herself out of her head, the loud knocking coming from the door making her jump out of her skin. The knocking didn't appear to stop, so she stood up and slipped her feet into her slippers and made her way to the door, retrieving her keys as she passed the key bowl. She slid her keys into the keyhole and opened the door, to see Bobby and Hope on the other side. She tried to smile, but fresh tears spilled down her cheeks and she stepped backwards into her flat.
“It’ll probably be better if you come in, don’t particularly want to be a mess out in the hallway. Excuse the mess, I didn’t plan for guests,” she laughs slightly. She was such a mess she didn’t feel like pretending otherwise, and she was relieved they didn’t comment on it.
They followed her, Hope closed the door behind her and locked it. She put the keys back in the key dish as she passed it.
“I’ve been very worried about you. You haven’t been answering any texts or phone calls, I know that the...situation with Aderyn must really hurt,” Hope moved forward and puts her arms around Marisol, giving her a hug. Marisol sniffed, and let out fresh tears into Hope’s shoulder. Hope stroked her back, and held onto her. The small attempt at comfort helped her relax a little bit, and eventually they separated.
“T...thank you. I keep wondering if you’re going to give up on me eventually. If you’re going to leave like she did. I don’t even know what I did wrong, why she chose me of all people’s hearts to break. She had the pick of everyone, even Bobby. As for Lottie, after last time she kissed Gary and there was all that backlash, you’d think she’d think twice about starting another kiss gate. Trust my luck to be fucked over twice,” her eyes flash in anger as she looks over to Hope. It’s a relief to feel something other than heartbreak, or numbness.
“It was far from your fault. It was her choice to make, entirely. I won’t give up on you, and that’s a promise,” Bobby nodded from next to Hope.
“And same for me, too. I don’t support either of them with that decision. I’m pretty certain Aderyn knew all too well what she was doing. She appeared too good to be true, I got ensnared myself by her. Don’t blame yourself for that either. You deserve better, I know that,” Bobby took her hands in his and squeezed them tight.
“What about Gary? How did he take this? Considering how he was together with Aderyn for so long, until I coupled up with her, this must’ve hurt him too…” she wiped her eyes with her sleeve and looked back at them.
Bobby sighed.“About as well as can be expected, really. It was a surprise for him too. And both of them are just pretending they did absolutely nothing wrong, and have moved to California to get away from all the backlash. The rest of us are very much there for you, though. You deserve so much better.”
“Elisa warned me and all. She said Aderyn’s far too good to be true. Yet I was too stubborn to listen. Not only that, but she was always hiding stuff from me, so I guess I expected it...anyway, I could do with a distraction. This is going to sound pathetic, but I keep replaying that kiss, and noticing something. How different she seems with Lottie, how much more free and happy she is. But an apology would be nice, but of course that’s too much to ask…” Marisol bit her lip hard and blinked. She ignored the tears reappearing and moved into the kitchen. She stared at the mess, sighed softly, and turned back around.
“Do you fancy pizza? My treat,” Hope winked at her. “I’ll even get ham and pineapple. Even though I can’t stand it,” Marisol’s eyes lit up and she grinned.
“Sure. But maybe split it, so half ham and pineapple, and half ham and mushroom. As you like mushrooms, right? I would make something, but…” she gestured towards the mess in her flat. It’s weird you no longer care about the mess, but oh well.
Hope retrieved her phone and started to order pizza.
“I’ll help with the mess, if you’re comfortable with that,” Bobby said from beside her.
“Thank you. I’ve been meaning to tackle it. But don’t have the energy, for obvious reasons,” she gave him a wobbly smile.
Once Hope finished her phone call, the three of them started tackling the mess. The stacks of boxes are nearly taller than Marisol herself, and as she started to see the countertops beneath the mess she breathed a sigh of relief. Nearly normal again. Hopefully soon you can heal.
She heard a knock at the door and Hope scrambled to answer it, getting there before Marisol and paying the delivery person.
“I did say I would pay. Now you need to relax. Maybe we can find something on TV?” Hope moved with the boxes and drinks towards the sofa, and Marisol and Bobby followed suit.
Marisol retrieved the remote and switched on Netflix. As they choose something to watch she feels a smile settle on her face and relaxed, focused on her food and the pleasure of having company. Maybe you didn’t find love in Love Island. But you found something more valuable, friends for life.
16 notes · View notes
lizzybeth1986 · 4 years ago
Note
I don't think you play TRR/TRH anymore but you should see what they did to Kiara in the newest chapter. It's so dumb and makes me so angry, especially considering the current climate of events. I've already seen people on Reddit be like "but we helped her overcome her trauma" (we didn't lol) and someone called her the c-word, very classy. Honestly PB's been low key racist in the past but all the stuff right now makes it high key...
Tumblr media
(Apologies for the long post and not being able to place this under a cut)
I'm pretty glad I got these anons because truth be told I wasn't sure how many people - besides the few that I already knew were constantly speaking about Kiara's treatment in the books - would care enough to ask any questions about this. Most of the posts I saw expressed a disturbing eagerness to throw her under the bus, without exploring nuance or asking questions, and at this point I'm not very surprised.
I've always maintained that the treatment for Kiara is what happens when both the writers and the fandom are heartless, and these past few weeks have only been proof of that.
There are questions you could raise about this finale re: Kiara - questions almost no one seems to bother asking. I have three:
1. In this Coventus Nobilis...how is it that I see four Heads of House, and only one heir? 
2. If Kiara - who is not head of house - is supposed to represent Castelserraillian instead of her father Hakim (who presides over that estate), why do I not see Madeleine? Why do I not see Penelope? 
3. Why are we suddenly seeing Adeleide  popping up out of practically nowhere to rep Krona/Fydelia, and Landon conveniently rep-ping Portavira?  
Some of the answers to these questions lie in the questions themselves. Why else would Madeleine and Penelope not be present in this meeting - if it weren't to purposely distance them from this awful moment? After all, both of them have inbuilt subplots ready for the next book that would require interactions with the core group. How else do you think the writers could ensure we kept coddling them and pandering to them in Book 3, except by distancing them from this "betrayal"?
Why else would the narrative choose to pit Kiara - the lone woman of colour we'd been shitting on for most of this series - against Olivia - the white woman who has been given innumerable individual PoV scenes and her own mini-book (and whose reputation we had to help rebuild in said mini book whether we cared about her stupid duchy or not). 
Why else would they force Kiara to alert us mere minutes before the meeting begin, if not to distract us with crumbs ("See? At least we wrote her as warning you. Of course we don't hate her!"). 
Why else would you have Olivia and Kiara pitted against each other like this - if not to show these two women side by side, on opposing ends -  and compel us to believe that the white woman we spent 4.5 books propping up and pampering, is the most loyal one.  When in fact we have done absolutely nothing to deserve any fucking loyalty from Kiara or her family to begin with! (Ezekiel and his white bride notwithstanding).
What we finally got as a result, was a narrative that (as @queen-of-effing-everything summed it up when I discussed this with her) in one full sweep "glorifies Olivia, shields Madeleine and Penelope and sets up Kiara". Very few of us even noticed. And even if we did notice, is there any guarantee that we would care??
Remember how I mentioned in my last ask that I wished we expanded the same energy that we did with Aurora, to speak up against the ill-treatment of other black characters? Kiara was undoubtedly one of those.
After this, we as a fandom will speak very easily now of her "betrayal". We will call her the b-word and the c-word. We will boast of how we will "take her down" along with Adeleide and Landon and Bartie Sr. We'll boast about how we "never liked her" to begin with, as if doing so required some...idk exemplary foresight. We will make memes about how Olivia was "the only bitch we ever respected". We will make huge, sweeping claims about how Kiara was our "friend" and how (as you've mentioned, anon) we "helped her overcome her trauma" (!!!!) and claim by that token that  we were entitled to good treatment from her. I'm pretty sure when TRH3 finally comes out, her every word and action will be screenshot, put up on blogs, mocked and torn down just so we can write essays on how awful she is. 
Yet I saw very little of this energy in Book 3, where the MC could first emotionally manipulate her into supporting the Unity Tour, and where we actively suspected her  at a time when she was traumatized. At most there was some lukewarm acknowledgement of how she "deserves better", all while people still continued to write fanfic that positioned her as creepy and obsessed and villainous.  Almost no one had a problem with Savannah not acknowledging Kiara's earlier support of her, and in fact I'd seen posts that clubbed her with the other ladies of the court who likely "treated Savannah badly". Her father Hakim was made to join the tour alongside her by default, without the expectations that Landon/Emmeline and Godfrey/Adeleide were allowed to have, and the fandom was mysteriously silent about Hakim being made to "bow to his knees" in a way the others did not have to. Very few people even bothered to  notice or talk about how often Penelope was allowed to hold the MC's baby, or how Kiara was never really allowed to hold her even once. Which "friend" treats someone like this??
When I finally published this essay on the treatment meted out to Kiara especially in Book 3, what I got was a lot of neat, but ultimately hollow, little platitudes about how Kiara "deserved better" (How and in what way? Who knows, who cares). Out of those many many people who reblogged and responded, only a handful held the MC and Drake in particular (and Maxwell, who thought it appropriate to joke about "one suspect down") accountable for choosing to suspect and interrogate just her, and for showing ZERO remorse in forcing her to reopen those wounds. How is it that we can judge Kiara for this latest "betrayal", yet pretend that the MC and Drake had nothing to do with the pain THEY caused to her? How is it that this fandom was so fired up over her comments, yet would have such a weak, muted, carefully-generalized response to the screenshots where Drake was openly suspecting her and optionally  minimizing her trauma? 
Following that, why should we be entitled to good treatment from Kiara when we never really gave her even half as much?? Why is it so easy to divorce characters from their words and actions in Drake/MC/Maxwell's case, but so hard for a character like Kiara? (One may claim this is because Drake and Maxwell are potential co-protagonists, but the aforementioned essay already proves that you as a main character can get punished for not treating a mere side character with kindness).
Another thing that fascinates and repulses me even further is how the fandom has created myths around this one character, and how PB has constantly leaned into these "characteristics" even though the text itself tells an altogether different story:
1. Kiara is a snob. This is especially hilarious considering that she is established in Book 2 as being the only person who befriended Savannah before her departure and cared about what happened to her when she left. Never once in the books has she looked down on us for class-related issues, or outright mocked people for not knowing the languages she knew. In fact, she was the first person to acknowledge our skills if we showed any before Lythikos in Book 1. On the other hand, Penelope can be uppity and look down on us in Book 1 (there is even a dialogue option in Chapter 10 that leads to her calling us a "commoner wench") if we don't do well, and yet she's a cinnamon roll.  Olivia can engage in snobbish , entitled behaviour without the fandom having a problem just because she's their favourite. Madeleine can look down on us and pretend for 3/4ths of the social season that we're not worth her time yet somehow Kiara is the snob. Okay. Okay. 😐
2. Kiara is "obsessed with" Drake and constantly comes on to him. This is said by the same group of people who saw Olivia fucking Nevrakis plant a WHOLE FUCKING SMACKER on Liam's mouth, and said..nothing. Kiara on the other hand, has admired Drake's abs once, mentioned she'd always liked Drake once, spoken normally to him about his sister once, flirted with him once (Paris tea party), and ordered a wine from him when he was bartending. In the next book she either looks at him wistfully or admires his suit. Yet somehow she's the creepy, annoying, stalkerish. Okay. Ooookay. 😑
(This one was particularly damaging, because post the TRR3 hiatus, all efforts from PB were focused on reversing Kiara's position as an alternative LI. This included "confirming" on livestream that her affections were one-sided, at a time when Olivia was finally allowed to have some romantic moments with a single Liam, pushing forward a buildup scene to Drake's eventual secret wedding that had him acting extremely rude and confrontational to Kiara mere minutes after suspecting her (while she was expressing joy at his upcoming wedding in his playthrough!!!), and involving a subplot where he openly and by default suspected her. Sure, he spends a minute to be nice to her and chat about trauma if the MC chooses. But that's like a drop of sewage water floating in an ocean of shit).
3. Kiara Pretended to Be Our Friend And Then Dropped Us: This is false. Kiara only ever promised to put in a good word for us to the rest of the court, no more, no less. And she fulfilled that promise. Otherwise she never pretended to be friends with us nor made friendly overtures either way. In fact if you're going to accuse anyone of duplicity, you have Penelope and Madeleine. Yet somehow Kiara is the dishonest one. Okay. Okay. 🙃
4. Kiara Was Insensitive To Penelope and Didn't Understand Her. I'm not sure how Kiara is supposed to magically understand something that her friend isn't telling her. Plus this argument deliberately leaves out the fact that she stood up for Penelope when people chose to be mean to her, and even explained to the MC that she employs "tough love" because she can't always be around to protect Penelope. It also leaves out how one-sided this friendship is and how Kiara is made to do most of the heavy work in this friendship. Meanwhile, at Kiara's most difficult time period, in Castelserraillian, Penelope says absolutely nothing as the MC forces Kiara to join the Unity Tour, while making bedroom eyes at Kiara's brother. In fact the only reason Kiara's brother even exists is to give Penelope a love interest. The Kiara-Penelope friendship practically revolves around Penelope. I have never really seen Penelope look out for Kiara or attempt to actually support her in any way, and Kiara was the one who got the knife wounds. Yet somehow I'm supposed to believe that Penelope's the better friend of the two. Suuuuure. 😡
And this steaming pile of crap doesn't just make its way into shitposts and short opinion posts. It creeps into fanfic and fandom opinions. It finds its way in the tags and in other social media. It eventually even finds its way into the books, even though nothing in the earlier narrative ever really supported these extremely stale takes. 
Because PB didn't care for Kiara the way they cared for their white characters, they had no problem framing her narrative the way this fandom so desparately wanted it. Book 3 has the MC claim behind her back that Kiara is stuck-up and acts like knowing ten languages makes her better than everybody else, even though this is not backed up by the text, and in fact you will never see any acknowledgement of how Madeleine forced Kiara to make herself sound "exotic" in Book 2, or of how Madeleine and the MC (optionally) could downplay or question her skills unless they wanted to use her. Also, Penelope is never allowed to be talked about like that no matter what she's done. PB even had a scene (in the Hana playthrough) where they aggressively retconned the events of Madeleine's bachelorette party, where Kiara supposedly shouted at Penelope until the latter cried, and Madeleine was the one "having fun". Kiara was literally being thrown under the bus to make Madeleine look better. Madeleine. Imagine that. Madeleine.
Given how desparate the fandom was to nitpick and overdramatize everything Kiara said and did, is it any wonder that the team got away with the writing they gave her in Book 3? Considering that all the false arguments I stated above have made a resurgence in the past few weeks or days...is it any wonder that the only "support" this fandom is capable of re: Kiara, is lukewarm platitudes, cold takes and rank hypocrisy??
Yes, we can hold PB solely/largely  accountable for the treatment meted out to Kiara now. They made these choices over and over, and continue to do so, while tossing us occasional crumbs of faux-sweet behaviour from the MC. And they did this in insidious ways, which were so hard to catch that even a Kiara stan like me had to observe multiple playthroughs just to unravel even half of what they'd done.
But let's not pretend a huge chunk of the fandom was just as responsible for this - with their unfounded opinions, their disgusting bias, their favouritism of white characters, their refusal to observe anything besides their favourites, and their godawful fanfiction where Kiara is a creep or evil or killing the virtuous main character. Out of the huge body of fanwork that I've seen for TRR that features Kiara - at least 90% of it features her stalking Drake, or harming the MC (particularly the Drake MC), or in cahoots with the villains, or generally being referred to as a creep (why Olivia, who kissed Liam without his consent in Book 1 and was entitled enough to be angry about him not returning her feelings in TRH1, never got this sort of writing - I fail to understand). There is a tremendous gap between the vitriol dumped on her when she does something the MC doesn't like, and the milquetoast response when harm is done to her. There have been times when I've had to comb through pages and pages of hate just to read even one positive post on Kiara in her own goddamn tag.
When the next book arrives, I know you folks will continue to gas up the white women in this book every chance you get, and mask your racist vitriol for characters like Kiara (and Hana, let's not forget the way y'all treat Hana) behind the same self-righteous judgements and the same tired, stale takes. I know that PB - despite what I will still believe is their hollow promises today - will write every single one of those stale takes into existence. All because it will be "justified", because Kiara is a "bad person" or "untrustworthy" or "fake". Whatever. Y'all can stick to Olivia The Black Hole and babysit Madeleine and Penelope, I guess. Kiara always deserved better than these writers and most of this fandom anyway.
125 notes · View notes
theotherackerman · 3 years ago
Text
My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore
My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore
COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.
NOTES:
Thursday, January 7th
song: drivers license-olivia rodrigo
chapter fourteen: i didn't have it in myself to go with grace
It had been a song written purely out of desperation to make sense of everything.
When Eren, Mikasa, and Armin had ended their friendship and cut off contact with another, Mikasa had been an absolute wreck.
She had no idea what to do, what she had done wrong.
So she turned to music.
Music would make everything better.
Music could make her sane.
The lyrics had been written first.
Every insecurity from high school to now came out in the lyrics. She couldn’t compose music. She didn’t have the first idea where to start. Eren had always helped with the music. She had been so frustrated. Why did every aspect of her life make her cry for him? Why did it push her deeper into depression.
“I compose music,” Historia offered.
So they went to the sun room and went to work.
It was from that moment that the band was born.
But there was one condition from Historia.
“I won’t sing this song. This is yours. If you ever want to hear it, you’ll sing and I’ll play keyboard.”
It was that song that Mikasa played on her keyboard after everyone else had left the sun room to go do their separate things.
Levi recognized it.
How could he not after the many times he had heard it?
He knew it was her way to cope. It was the song she always returned to and played for comfort.
Mikasa pretended not to see him in the doorway but once she stopped playing, he spoke.
“You need to play that for Eren,” Levi told her.
She turned her keyboard off, “I can’t. We’re trying to fix things.”
“You need to play it.”
“I can’t! It hurts too much. I...Historia won’t sing it.”
“Good, she doesn’t need to. You do. Stop being a coward,” Levi scoffed.
“I’m not!”
“You are. You’re acting like an angsty teen. Until he knows what he did, the actual severity of it, you’re never going to get past this. It’ll eat away at you until you do.”
Mikasa looked down at her keyboard and then back up at Levi. She knew he wasn’t doing this out of malice. She knew it wasn’t to hurt her. Mikasa knew Levi was saying this because at the end of the day, he was her parental figure. He didn’t want to see her in pain anymore.
Maybe that ache in her wasn’t just for Eren.
Maybe that ache was for Eren to understand how he had made her feel.
Eren had been open and honest with her, but had she done the same?
She sighed.
Levi smirked.
“I’m not saying you’re right if that’s what you’re waiting on,” Mikasa muttered.
He walked over and ruffled her hair, making it messy.
“Ah! Stop it!” Mikasa pleaded.
Sawney and Bean rushed into the sun room, happy barking filling the room.
They ran around all the instruments before they launched themselves at Mikasa, landing in her lap.
They barked again before licking her face.
“Alright, brat. Take them for a walk,” Levi walked out of the sun room.
“Fine,” Mikasa said before putting both corgis down on the floor.
---------------
For small puppies, Sawney and Bean were incredibly strong. Mikasa easily kept pace with them but she was still impressed with their strength.. Once they returned to the house, she released them from their leashes and they ran off to track down Levi.
Sasha, Annie, and Historia were in the living room this time.
“Did the bride just punch that lady in the mouth?” Historia asked.
“Yep, that’s bad form though. She probably broke her thumb,” Annie added.
“Sasha, what did you put on tv this time?” Mikasa asked after she took her shoes off.
“Some wedding show. I just flipped through channels and it came up,” Sasha shrugged.
Her friends had the absolutely worst taste in tv shows.
Mikasa sat down between Sasha and Annie.
“Is that an ambulance?” Mikasa asked.
“I told you she was going to break her thumb,” Annie answered.
“Why did she even punch her?” Sasha asked.
“I think we missed that part,” Historia answered.
So they kept watching and commenting on the ridiculous show. They never did find out why the bride punched the other woman. The next show was about stories from the ER so they ended up watching that too.
This was the same routine they fell into at the house. Someone would find something random on tv and they would watch it together. Sometimes, they had contests to see who could find the worst possible thing to watch. The more horrible the acting was, the more likely the person who found it was likely to win.
“So the icicle just fell and stabbed him?” Levi asked as he entered the room.
Historia got out of his chair. The girls all scrunched together on the couch so Historia could sit with them. They really didn’t mind.
“The ER doctor doesn’t think so. She thinks there’s more going on,” Sasha informed Levi as she turned the volume up slightly.
“Wouldn’t it go through this head if it fell off the roof?” Historia asked.
“You would think. I don’t buy it. He clearly pissed someone off and they were going to kill him. I mean if the murder weapons melts, how can they blame you?” Sasha said with a shrug.
“We have been watching too much true crime,” Annie chimed in.
“Oh! Here’s the next patient. That guy fractured what?” Sasha asked.
“It’s a penile fracture. Now, quiet, I’m trying to hear,” Annie replied.
“Can you fracture that?” Historia asked.
“Apparently,” Mikasa answered.
“How?” Historia asked.
All four girls turned towards Levi.
He sighed, “normally, it’s from a strong blow.”
This caused all four girls to start laughing uncontrollably.
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed again as he shook his head.
Armin, Eren, and Ymir came down a few hours later to join the rest of the group for dinner.
Mikasa had told Eren she had a song that she wanted to share with him.
Levi smirked once he heard this and it took all of Mikasa’s control not to throw something at him.
She led Eren to the sun room once dinner was over.
“What song is she playing for him?” Ymir asked as she washed dishes.
The first few piano chords started.
“No way! She’s not….” Historia was in shock.
“She is. How many times have we heard this song?” Annie asked.
The other four girls exited the kitchen, running towards the sunroom.
Armin looked over at Levi, “did I miss something?”
“Mikasa is playing a song she wrote right after her and Eren broke up.”
“Is it that big of a deal?”
“Go listen to it,” Levi said simply.
------------------
Mikasa led Eren to the sunroom. She sat down in front of the keyboard, Eren sat down in one of the chairs.
“I wrote this song right after we broke up. It just kind of summed up everything I was feeling at the time. I….uhh...I pulled from a few events before we broke up too. I don’t know how to put this into words but I thought this might help you understand my feelings too.”
Eren nodded.
“Okay,” Mikasa said before taking a deep breath.
Her fingers dance across the keys.
Each note brought a memory or feeling back to her.
“{lyrics redacted}.”
Mikasa had not taken her driver’s test when she was sixteen. She didn’t take it until she was eighteen. She had been so afraid to drive after the car accident. Eren had been the one to teach her drive.
“ {lyrics redacted}. ”
Mikasa had still had to run errands for Levi when she was living here before she moved to the city.
Eren’s house was a mere three blocks away, making it impossible not to pass sometimes.
“ {lyrics redacted}.”
A random blonde girl who seemed to be Zeke’s friend kept appearing in Eren’s Instagram pictures before he deleted his social media. It had been very heartbreaking for Mikasa to see Eren with someone else. She assumed he had found someone older, better than her and that was why he had left her. It killed her how he seemed to have moved on so quickly.
“ {lyrics redacted} ”
Eren had seemed fine to her. She knew now that wasn’t the case. It only made things worse.
“ {lyrics redacted} ”
Mikasa hadn’t been the only one writing songs about their relationship. Eren had written songs about her. She could remember him playing them for her. Whether it was here in Levi’s house or back in Eren’s old bedroom, it didn’t matter. She had felt like they were a private concert for her. They had meant so much to her and then Eren had taken that all away from her.
“ {lyrics redacted} .”
The kick drum kicked in. She heard Annie’s guitar and Ymir’s bass. The spot next to her was taken by Historia who placed her hands on Mikasa’s, signaling Mikasa to hand over the keyboard playing to Historia. Mikasa removed her hands, allowing Historia to play. She sang the chorus again.
The bridge came faster than Mikasa thought it would.
“ {lyrics redacted} .”
Ymir walked over and leaned on Mikasa, still sitting on the piano bench. Mikasa knew it was a way for Ymir to show her support.
“ {lyrics redacted} . ”
She couldn’t stand to be in this town anymore after her and Eren had broken up. When Historia had offered a way out, Mikasa had taken the chance.
Mikasa repeated the chorus again.
The rest of the instruments fade out except for the keyboard.
“ {lyrics redacted} t ,” Mikasa sang the last line, finally making eye contact with Eren.
He had tears in his eyes.
“Wow,” he said after Historia finished playing the last few notes of the song.
Clapping came from the doorway. Mikasa looked over to see Levi and Armin standing there.
“Alright, maybe you two should go talk in Mikasa’s room and we’ll all go pretend we’re not here,” Historia suggested. She gave Mikasa’s hand a squeeze.
“Sure,” Eren answered.
---------------
Mikasa closed the door behind her. Eren had already sat down on her bed. She sat down, careful to leave enough space for another person between them. She didn’t look over at him. She only stared straight ahead.
She wasn’t sure how he was feeling. He hadn’t said anything besides wow.
What did that even mean?
Was it because it was good?
Was it because it was bad and he hated it?
The silence continued.
Neither of them was ready to speak .
So they just sat there.
Awkwardly.
Mikasa was glad she had a digital clock because if she had heard the ticking right now, she might have gone insane.
“I wrote a song about you after the break up too,” Eren said, finally breaking the silence.
“Is it any good?” Mikasa asked as she finally looked over at him.
“Maybe I’ll play it for you one day.”
“Did...did you have another girlfriend or something after we broke up?” Mikasa asked.
Eren stared at her, “no.”
“Oh.”
Silence again. Mikasa looked straight ahead again.
“There was this blonde girl I kept seeing with you on Instagram….before you deleted everything. She looked a lot older than us, blonde. She seemed to be Zeke's friend but I don't know."
Eren started laughing hysterically.
“It’s not funny!” Mikasa shouted.
“You’re jealous of Yelena!” He laughed louder.
“I don’t know who that is!”
Eren laughed for a bit longer before composing himself.
“She’s Zeke’s ex girlfriend,” he finally said.
“Zeke had a girlfriend?”
“Shocking, I know. It didn’t last long. She wanted kids and a wedding. Zeke didn’t want that at the time. She kept pushing it, he was worried she only wanted him for his money. Then they broke up. It turned out that that was exactly what she wanted. She wanted Zeke because of his mom’s family. Whatever that means. I haven’t talked or even thought about her in months.”
“Oh.”
How stupid Mikasa had been.
“We’re even now,” Eren said with a smirk as he scooted closer to her. “You got jealous of Yelena, I got jealous of Jean. So we’re even.”
She looked over at him again.
“That was a perfect song. You should be more confident in your work,” Eren said before he stretched.
“I am. That song is just very personal.”
“All the best ones are,” he replied simply. He lied down on her bed. “I’m glad you shared it with me. I am sorry.”
“I know,” she said before giving him a weak smile.
He patted the bed next to him.
Mikasa sighed before she lied down next to him.
Eren yawned before he reached out and touched Mikasa’s face.
His thumb traced the scar on her cheek that had been left by the car accident. A single finger moved down to her lips, tracing them.
Mikasa held her breath. His trailed down her arm, then to her wrist. He began to trace the tattoo identical to the one her mother had had when she was alive.
“Thank you,” he said.
“For what?” She asked, her eyes met hers again.
“For giving me another chance even after I made you feel that way. And for sharing that song with me. I know it couldn’t have been easy." His finger continued to trace her tattoo.
“You’re welcome,” she muttered as she looked over at him. If she just leaned a little closer, she would be able to kiss him.
“I can’t hear anything,” a muffled voice from the other side of the wall said.
“That’s Sasha, isn’t it?” Eren asked as he stopped tracing her tattoo.
“It’s probably all of them,” Mikasa said as she sat up.
“Do you spy on them this much?” Eren asked as he also sat up.
“Sometimes,” she said with a shrug.
“So I shouldn’t suggest that I look up barn animal noises while you jump on the bed to make them regret spying on us?” Eren smirked.
“No, we should do that. Sync your phone to the tv or whatever. It has a better sound system to make it louder.”
---------------
“You’re such a softie,” Hange said on the other end of Levi’s phone.
“I am not,” he replied as he went into his bedroom. Sawney and Bean followed him in.
“Yes, you are. You’re helping Eren. You helped Mikasa. You love those kids. Nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.”
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, “they asked me what a penile fracture was today.”
Hange could not contain their laughter on the other end of the phone.
“It’s not that funny!” Levi yelled as he shut the door behind him.
“Why do I miss all the fun stuff?” Hange asked. “So what did you tell them?”
“That it comes from a strong blow,” Levi muttered.
Hange’s laughter got louder.
“You teach biology! Why are you laughing?”
“Because it’s funny.”
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I hear you thinking all the way over here.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t like you being all the way there,” he muttered.
“Aww...does Levi miss me already?” They teased him.
“No, now I take it back. Stay there with your weird sea creatures. By the way, did Molbit get them all there?”
“He did! They’re all perfectly fine from their vacation! Although I think the spider crab is plotting to kill me.”
“Not the octopus?”
“Oh no, the octopus definitely wants to kill me and everyone else.”
“I told you not to get it.”
“It’s very beneficial for my students!”
“Whatever you say,” he said as he sat down on the bed.
“How are the kids otherwise?”
“Well, Armin seems to be taking the news well. You remember that song Mikasa used to play all the time? She played for Eren today.”
“Oh! The really sad one? How did that go?”
“They were jumping on her bed and playing barnyard animal sounds.”
“So good?”
“I guess. These kids are weird.”
“And that’s why they’re ours.”
“Whatever you say, four eyes.”
“You know what short stuff, I’m going to show up and put everything on a high shelf that you can’t reach.”
Levi scoffed, “I’ll just get one of the kids to get it down.”
“You always ruin my fun.”
2 notes · View notes
alltheselights · 2 years ago
Note
I completely agree with you about the stunts, especially Olivia. Olivia was an actress and director before Harry. She was chosen to direct this movie before Harry was even cast. She already had a name for herself and her own career. Yes, publicly dating Harry has raised her profile but I knew who she was and had watched her movies and TV shows before she became Harry’s public relationship. All the talk about Olivia actually did what was intended - Don’t Worry Darling became the most-anticipated movie of 2022. Larries who apparently hate the idea of the movie helped to do that. Larries need to just leave her alone. If the movie isn’t good, then it’s not good and you can dislike the movie without getting personal. But don’t blindly attack Olivia, especially considering how hard it can be for female directors to get big films in the film industry. It’s not just Larries going after her but they are the loudest voices. So many harries also hate on Olivia, either jealous he’s dating her so they call her old and ugly and say why would he be dating her (which I hate, it’s ageist and sexist and looks are subjective anyway), or they also think she’s a beard and he’s gay just not with Louis. But Larries always set themselves up. Of course you can have valid criticism of things she has said or done or some of the themes in the movie but you can point it out without being rude or coming across as irrational. On the other hand, Eleanor has kind of been using Louis or his name to fund her lifestyle for years while hanging out with people who actively hurt his career and reputation. I’m sure it’s comfortable now and they seemed fine interacting with each other on that first day of Glastonbury, they’re simply distant with each other, which is for the best for Louis really. She made him laugh and that was really it. They don’t even kiss in public anymore 😭 which is better too because Louis does not look comfortable at all when you see photos of him and a woman kissing.
Yup, totally agree. Nobody says you have to like Olivia, but fans have made her much more of a focus than she would’ve been otherwise and it’s the haters of DWD that have given it a huge amount of free advertising. When you trend Olivia and DWD every day, most people are not looking at the trends and agreeing with you. Even if your points about her being problematic are valid, the general public and other fandoms are assuming everything said is based on misogyny and jealousy over her dating Harry. So they’re dismissing what you’re saying and then they’re looking into DWD, which is the opposite of what you’ve intended. Everyone on Twitter who replies to DWD posts being like “no, watch MP instead!!!” are also just pissing people off and turning people off of that movie. I remember when K-pop fans used to do that in replies and YouTube comments like “ew no don’t watch Harry Styles, watch BTS” or whatever and nothing made me want to watch BTS less than behavior like that. People would be better off ignoring Olivia rather than drawing more attention to her.
I also agree about the difference between Eleanor and Olivia. Nobody outside of Eleanor’s personal circle would know who she is if not for Louis, but she contributes nothing to his life except making him look straight. Olivia was well known before Harry and Harry’s high profile relationships, like it or not, have ABSOLUTELY helped make him more famous. Even now, though he’s more famous than Olivia, any celebrity/celebrity pairing gets more publicity and more people talking. We may not like it, but to sell concert and movie tickets, that’s what you want.
2 notes · View notes
userarchive · 4 years ago
Text
Unexpected Circumstances, Ch 1
Tumblr media
Rating: 18+. Warnings: Language, talk of the job, sex trafficking, smut in future chapters. Summary: Sonny Carisi x Reader. Sonny thought you were dead for the past 7 years, the truth starts to come out as you turn up in an SVU interrogation room. A/N: I did give the reader a name in this one, just to further accent moments of nicknames vs first vs last names used, but the rest of it is all written as a reader insert. 
••
It was a hot night in June and the SVU had busted a sex trafficking ring, there were barely any underage girls, but it seemed to be a good bust so far, they’d arrested a number of pimps, John’s, Martha’s and who knew what else. You, however, were stuck in an interrogation room, pacing back and fourth waiting for a detective to actually show up. You were annoyed to say the least, having already ruined your night, someone really should have at least come in to start questioning you, some common decency, you thought.
Carisi had not only been frustratingly called in in the middle of the night, much to his dismay, but he walked into the precinct hoping for somewhat of an easy case, which it clearly wasn’t going to be. It was late, SVU at least thought they knew what they were doing, Olivia briefed him on the case, pointing out the specifics of who they figured they had in the rooms already, mainly John’s, people who had something to make a deal with as soon as someone started to question them. He only heard about half of what she was telling him, his mind clouded with the fog of sleep, trying to focus on thinking clearly. When they got to interrogation 3, his heart nearly stopped. Sonny took a moment to view the scene behind the glass, his eyes absorbing as much as he could, his chest felt tight, shocked tears nearly sprung into his eyes, though anger boiled in his stomach, he didn’t know how to feel, every emotion coursing through his veins. There was no way it could be her, right? Liv barely noticed the change in him as she rattled on about the sex ring, his ears pounded, not hearing a word the captain said, his palms felt sweaty, his gut felt sick, and his heart ached like he never knew it could. The woman on the other side of the glass was pacing slowly across the room, clad in a skin tight hot pink dress,  a deep neck line, and the highest of leg lines, her feet in a pair of matching stilettos, she looked frustrated to be there, and a moment later, there was nothing stopping him from bursting into that interrogation room, not even Olivia’s surprise, emotion had taken over, he had no control anymore.
Your head shot up when the door finally opened,  “Fuck.” You thought your stomach dropping when you saw the man in front of you, you felt like you might puke, might cry, you might scream, you’d known this had potentially been a possibility, but you had hadn’t prepared yourself for this. You were supposed to stay in different jurisdictions, but the moment Manhattan came into play things changed slightly, once he became an A.D.A. things were supposed to run as normal. You held back a sob, not prepared for the million emotions running through your brain, shame, love, sadness, anger, you nearly felt tears in your eyes as the man approached into the room. 10 years of handling rather stressful intense situations, and you had absolutely no clue how to deal with this, how to cope.
Sonny was silent, slowly taking you in, as if you were some kind of mirage, which, considering the circumstances, made complete sense, his heart hammered in his chest, there was no way this was real. He felt tears spring into his eyes as he tried to deal with the thousand emotions coursing through his body. He stuttered slowly, trying to form a sentence as you tried to coerce some kind of truth out of your head.
“It’s really you?” Sonny finally spoke, the words barely a whisper thinking that something too loud would scare you away.
“Dominick…” You trailed off, not even knowing quite what to say to keep him from going off the rails.
“”Sophie…”
“Yeah…” You replied, looking down at your heels, guilt reeling through your veins. His face was a mixture of anger and sorrow, and a little bit of delight, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint the main emotion.
“You’re alive.” It was a monotone statement, you  gave no response. You knew he was the A.D.A. working Manhattan Sex Crimes but you didn’t think they were gonna call him in at this late hour, you’d hoped to have a little time to reappear literally anywhere but an interrogation room. “It’s been YEARS,” Sonny stopped abruptly maybe giving you a chance to defend yourself, maybe trying to figure out what angle he was going to work and when your heart clenched, and you barely choked out a vowel, he started his assault. “How dare you!! Ya’ wanna explain what the fuck you were doin’ in the middle of a sex trafficking ring? They said YOU’RE in charge?! You been workin’ with them for years, you’ve sold and bought girls, you’re a fuckin’ criminal!” Anger seemed to be the primary emotion that he decided to go with, clearly he’d heard at least part of what Benson had said.
“What do think I was doing Dominick?!” Your anger started to show, blood boiling in your veins, your brain clouded with the thought that Sonny could actually believe the hate he was spewing. Fighting like this, when emotions were as tense and high as they were was never a good idea, anger met with anger never ended well. “Seriously, you’re going that route, you think I’m fucking criminal?! REALLY?!”
“So? WHAT?” Carisi was right up in your face, which egged you on even further, it was only a matter of minutes before you were both yelling in Italian, “Ya’ decide ta walk out on everything and go….go, live the hard life, ruin your entire career just to be some drug addicted whore, fuckin’ your pimp every night?! THAT’S the life you wanted? You’re a disgrace Soph, no better than your low life of a father!” Carisi was beyond angry, and you were past the point of thinking straight, the comment about your family was too far, too close to home, Sonny knew exactly how hard you’d worked to differ yourself from their life, how you’d left before they could suck you into all of their demons, escaping out to Staten Island to finish off school. You didn’t even realize your hand was moving until it hit Sonny square across the face, he tried to wrangle your hands behind your back, but you were faster, wrenching his arm behind his back, pushing his torso in the interrogation table. Within seconds, Benson and Fin were in the room, you raised your hands in defeat, backing up from Carisi.
“Chartreuse.” You stated clearly, partially annoyed at the interruption, partially relieved you could finally clear things up.
“What?” Fin cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
“It’s the colour of the day.” Liv replied, you nodded towards her, dropping your hands to your sides.
“Detective Sophie Montgomery, badge number 37852.” 
“What unit?” Benson wasn’t going to let you go that easily, 
“Staten Island Vice as of 7 years ago, got transferred to Manhattan SVU about a year ago,” You gestured down to your outfit, “For obvious reasons, I couldn’t exactly show up at the precinct. Talk to Captain Campbell, he was my check in despite the transfer.”
Carisi stared back at you with a complete look of disbelief on his face, his stomach in knots, his brain not even knowing what to truly think. He wanted you to answer a million questions, but not here, not with everyone at SVU around. He knew you’d been gone, but some part of him always believed that you weren’t actually dead a sliver of hope for him to hold on to. 7 years was so long, but he’d clung on, praying that, somehow, you’d been alive the entire time, even though he knew how unrealistic it was, but as it turned out, his hoping and praying was right. He also felt like a complete idiot for getting so enraged at you, of course you were working a UC op! The first time he’d met you was at a party, arresting you while you were barely out of the academy. Though that didn’t mean that he wasn’t conflicted, he was confused, and the anger still sat in his chest, trying to truly figure everything out. Benson sighed heavily, breaking his concentration before you spoke again.
“I need to keep my cover, please.” Your voice was much softer this time, sighing gently you gave Dominick a subdued glance the apologies glittering in your eyes, before your detective voice came out again, “We had a bust that was going to happen next month, we had everything planned and now you’re going to have to wait six months until the ring leaders come out of hiding.” You nearly scowled at the detectives, “Put me back in holding. I’ll spend the night there, Alejandro can think I’m arrested and I’ll report for duty as soon as I can in the morning Captain.”
Olivia glanced between all the detectives in the room quickly, before nodding to Fin, “Alright, bring as much information as you can, we’re gonna need everything you can give us to charge these guys.”
“Thank you.” A satisfied smile swiftly graced your face as you turned around to be put back in cuffs before Fin led you out of the room.
75 notes · View notes
Text
#90-81
90. Fifteen (7.125) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4.4
I resent this song for lying to me about being fifteen. I did not have a cute senior wink at me on my first day of high school (though the fact that I’m Australian and the American high school hierarchy isn’t really a thing here might have something to do with that), I did not have my first kiss and feel like flying, and nobody told me they loved me so I did not have the opportunity to believe them. In conclusion:
Tumblr media
Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “Abigail gave everything she had 😭”
89. King of My Heart (7.128) Highest score was 9; Lowest score was 2.3
I absolutely love that this song got the full production on the rep tour, because she deserves it. Those drums! The only thing that could make that performance better if Taylor had had a drum-playing interlude of her own a-la Holy Ground on the Red tour.
Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon​: “there is a fucking weird drum sitch here” (RESPECT THE DRUMS)  @corneliaavenue​: “plastic cupppsss, next time please use more sustainable glassware taylor:/”
88. evermore (ft. Bon Iver) (7.137) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4
I literally have no idea how this song goes. I really should listen to it more, but I kinda don’t want to? This is, in my opinion, the lesser of the Bon Iver collabs. One was enough, Taylor!
Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon: “idgi. like the first bit is gorg and the bon iver bit just comes out of fuckn nowehere. i don't like it” @yourivysgrows: “One of the ones I claimed but she's in the middle” 
87. ...Ready for It? (7.138) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 3
Listen... this song slaps as an opener, but it’s also kinda... funny. I can’t even explain why, it just feels so... not Taylor that it’s funny to hear it as one of her songs. I bop to it, but I do think it was a bit of a mess. Also, it had a bad and weird music video.
Highlighted comments: @treacherousdemo​​: “live version is a 10... the rep tour was on something else” (ok this i can agree with)  @corneliaavenue: “taylor clears her throat and you better listen to her!!!” @yourivysgrows: “I love the Liz Taylor reference”
86. The Other Side of the Door (7.172) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2
All I can think of when I think of this song is the Australian fans begging for this to be a surprise song at one of the Aussie shows (particularly the Melbourne show), and Taylor stood on that stage and say “this is a song a lot of you have been requesting!”... and played I’m Only Me When I’m With You. She knew what she was doing, I’m sure of it!
Highlighted comments: @corneliaavenue: “the outro gave this song another 2 points” @liabilitys: “bonus points for the last verse” @yourivysgrows: “The ENDDDD” (honestly screaming at the outro being the only part of this song anyone wants to talk about)
85. Haunted (7.188) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2
I’m flabbergasted at this being so low. Have you all listened to it?! Have you listened to the strings?! THE STRINGS?! This was my first “favourite” Taylor song, back when I only had a limited amount of iTunes credit and had to rely on the 30 second previews to decide what songs I wanted to buy, and the strings in Haunted immediately sold it to me.
Highlighted comments: @itspeterlosingwendy​: “i know other people love it... its not it though”  @corneliaavenue: “WHERE IS MY POP ROCK ALBUM TAYLOR?” @walte01​: “prefer the acoustic version” (I forgot there even was an acoustic version tbh) 
84. The Archer (7.206) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 1
Even though it’s not the lowest rated, I think this is possibly the most polarising Track 5. Seriously, there are people who really really love this song, and people who really really hate this song. I fall more towards the former - partly because this was the first song released from Lover that I actually liked, and because I think the lyrics show a more vulnerable and self-reflective side of Taylor that we hadn’t seen as much previously, even if those lyrics are a bit overreliant on cliches.
Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon: “this song is so boring my goddddddddd” @yourivysgrows: “An underrated track 5″
83. illicit affairs (7.209) Highest score was 9; Lowest score was 5
As a folklore stan, can I say that I found this song to be a bit... overhyped, at least on release? The bridge gets a lot of love, and the bridge does slap, but a song is more than its bridge, my friends! And the rest of the song that makes up illicit affairs is a bit underwhelming compared to the other masterpieces on folklore.
Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon: “this and invisible string are in the wrong order hehe. illicit affairs comes before invisible string on the album” (I’ve been exposed as a fake folklore stan 😔) @corneliaavenue: “bridge slaps, everything else is kinda boring” @yourivysgrows: “Favorite on first listen but she's been overshadowed a bit”
82. Better Than Revenge (7.219) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 2.6
As a shameless lover of Better Than Revenge, I’m delighted to see this not in the bottom 10. It-Girl of the moment Olivia Rodrigo stans Better Than Revenge, and so should we! Of course, it’s not the woke choice to love this song, but this has some of Taylor’s funniest and pettiest lyrics and I think we can all appreciate that. She was right! No amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity! Stealing other people’s toys on the playground won’t make you any friends!
Highlighted comments: @yourivysgrows: “A little problematic to some but don't steal? :/” @liabilitys: “the misogyny slaps” @leadinmeon: “the slut shaming is the only bad part of this song”
81. The Last Time (ft. Gary Lightbody) (7.228) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 1
This was Exile before Exile was Exile! So to all the The Last Time haters out there who like Exile... learn to respect your elders. This randomly became a single and even got a promo performance on the X Factor for some reason?
Highlighted comments: @itspeterlosingwendy: “best on the album, and that's saying something since all too well is also on this” @liabilitys: “objectively this is a good song it just isnt my vibe as much as some others” @everfolk​: “Taylor please stop doing these kinds of collabs” 
9 notes · View notes