#been writing fic for over a decade and not oNCE have i ever deemed myself Done Enough w a project to publish it lol

[heartbrake-hotel]

I just want BDE to hold me; cradle me in his lap like a baby while he reads to me as I lay my head on his chest. Is that too much to ask for?

nonnie.. NONNIE.!! i wish you could hear the wistful sigh i let out reading this. i'm kicking my heels and twirling my hair about Big Daddy every chance i get 💌

just wanna curl up with him anywhere - in bed, on the couch, in the backseat of the car - wherever he is, wherever he's already comfortable, that's exactly where i wanna be.. 💓

[also i was just rambling i didn't mean for this to turn into any aCTUAL writing but.. uH 👉👈 yah sure whatever it's a blurb now ig]

wanna sneak up and slip into his lap while he's got that pretty nose of his buried in a book, disrupting his focus for only a second as he holds his book away to make room for you while you get comfy. his arms wrap securely around you once he's sure you're done moving, holding you tight, keeping your bodies flush as he reopens the paperback in his hand.

what follows is a kiss on the cheek and a murmur of sorry, didn't mean to bother you, just wanted to sit with you a little. go back to your book, and he hums a little absentmindedly in response as he keeps reading. you're pressed so close you can feel the rumble of it deep in his chest.

you busy yourself with nothing in particular, playing with the tuck in his shirt sleeve or the fringe on his jacket, occasionally running your fingers over some of your favorite parts of him: the plush swell of his belly or thighs, warm and strong underneath you; the soft slope of his shoulders, the curve of his neck, sometimes even reaching up to trace the ridge of his brow or the line of his nose. never for an extended period, just long enough for him to register and relish in the gentle touch. you wouldn't think he even noticed, too absorbed in his reading, except for how he squeezes your waist every time.

eventually, you sigh and wriggle in his arms, and he immediately drops them and clears his throat, faking that he's unaffected at the thought of you getting bored and leaving... but you're just sitting up a little higher in his lap to adjust your reach. you pout a little in discontent at the loss of his sturdy closeness so tight around you and pull his arms back where you want them. the barest hint of a smile on his face is given away only by the slight blush that colors his cheeks as he chides himself for bein' foolish, but it immediately widens to a cheshire grin as you begin running your fingers softly through his hair instead.

you don't know how much time passes like that, both of you content just to soak in the others' presence, before he speaks. wan' me to read out loud to ya, baby? his voice is quiet and sweet - not shy, per se, but like he's savoring the moment, like he worries you might get up anytime now and he wants to appreciate you here, snug and lovely in his arms, while he's still got it. you just nod in response, knowing he can feel it. he nods once, too, throat working as you watch his pillowy lips begin to form the words.

he thinks he's being surreptitious, but you're not so distracted that you don't notice how he flipped back to the very beginning of the book - a ploy to spend more time with you, but you don't mind one little bit. you hide your answering grin in his shoulder, sealed w a kiss pressed there, into the warmth of his body underneath the silky fabric of his shirt.

his voice is a little hoarse, at first, from slight disuse, but the longer he reads, the smoother it gets, the rich ebb and flow characteristic of his extensive vocal range becoming apparent. his cadence is lilting and musical in and of itself, so much so that you almost aren't listening to the words in favor of focusing on the sound.

the more he reads, the more comfortable you get, your fingers moving down to twirl in the fluffy curls at the nape of his neck as you rest your head on his shoulder. soon you find yourself sliding back down into his lap even further, to settle more firmly against the breadth of his chest. you can feel more so than hear the steady thump-thump of his heartbeat under your cheek. you've never felt so safe and loved as you do right here with him, and you know he knows it.

before long, lulled by that feeling, you find your blinks growing slower and your head growing heavier. you lost the plot of the book long ago, too distracted by his delicious closeness to keep track of the host of details, but now even the white noise of his voice is blurring in your ears as you drowse in his arms. not gonna fall asleep on me, are ya, little? he chuckles, his fond amusement audible. you grin a little but don't open your eyes, playfully slapping his shoulder as you settle more firmly against him. that, mr. presley, is for me to know and you to find out. now keep reading!

anythin' you say, honey.

[holy-weak]

i distinctly remember you liking snarry. do you happen to be in possession of any fic recs you'd be willing to share? if not, i totally understand and hope you're having a nice day

Dear god do I love snarry. It's been my otp for well over a decade, despite the fact that I've never written a single word for it. (Maybe someday that will change? I hope so.)

Sometimes I feel like I've read everything there is to read, but eventually there always comes more. Suffice it to say, I've read a lot of snarry. My favorites, though, are pretty popular, and they've changed as I've aged. (Adolescent me was ready to die for SnapesFavorite to finish In This World For You.) Now, however, my top 5 in no particular order...

⚡@perverse-idyll , The White Road.

One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show.

I read this again very recently and everytime it tears me apart. I also very much enjoyed listening to perverse_idyll talk about this work on the @fanficmaverickpodcast . She speaks just as brilliantly as she writes, and having more insight into this treasure of a fic was so cool to hear.

⚡@liladiurne , Brighter Than Bright.

England, 1814. At twenty years old, Harry Weasley is a clever, if somewhat sheltered Omega who has hardly ever left the small town of Hogsmeade, where he grew up. He would not say that he is lonely, just that the days are too long. Now that most of his siblings have moved on, Harry occupies his time the best he can while dreaming of London high society. Nothing much interests him apart from his books and the letters he receives from his brothers, so when the news arrives that the Longbottom heir has returned to take ownership of his father’s estate, Harry doesn’t make much of it. After all, it couldn’t possibly affect him. Nor could the arrival of a certain Mr Snape, the rude and arrogant Alpha who deems Harry “barely tolerable.” No, none of that could possibly affect Harry’s life, could it?

Why yes, this is the Pride and Prejudice inspired a/b/o snarry fic you’ve all been secretly craving!

I'm not usually one for a/b/o fics, but I do love a good Pride & Prejudice AU, so it won me over immediately. Currently a WIP, but don't let that discourage you. LilaDiurne is a master and she'll surely deliver. (It does have a fun little spot of Harry/Lucius, which I'm almost sorry wasn't the main pairing for this fic!)

⚡mia_ugly's entire collection of work... but okay I want to talk about However I Fall.

In one timeline, Severus lives. In the other, he dies.

In both, he falls in love.

So. This fic was originally published in 2015 and I have been thinking of it ever since. It is, unfortunately, a WIP, but any shred of a sentence written by mia_ugly is worth experiencing at least a dozen times. I know the phrase is cliché, but she's genuinely one of those writers where I'd read her grocery list. I read her entire HP collection at least once a year. Like all of her work, However I Fall is devastating and gorgeous and so full of heart.... God I wish it was finished.

⚡@mia-ugly , Rapture.

Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.

It was a hard call between this one and Night Watch, which I love with a similar passion. This was the first fic I ever read of mia_ugly's and it's one of those works that reminds me how important and fantastic it is to be a writer. The skill with which she writes pulls emotions from me that any fiction rarely can. This is a favorite of so many snarry fans for a reason. (That very first scene hits me so hard every time. I have to brace myself for it. Please read Rapture.)

⚡@chickenpets', Pacify.

He would do his duty. He would save Draco, if he could. He would protect the students, if and when the school fell to the Deatheaters. And Potter. As far as he was concerned, Potter could have whatever he wanted, now. What was the point of trying to tell him no if he was going to be sacrificed on the pyre of the greater good? If Potter wanted to learn, Severus would be his teacher. If he wanted a master, then Severus would make him submit. And if he wanted a lover... well. Severus would love him. And that was it. Anything else was a waste of time. And there was so little of that.

This fic, although relatively new, has already become a classic for the ship. It's a WIP but there is so much to read already, it won't feel so painful to catch up. It has so much of what I enjoy - student/teacher, wartime, an absurdly powerful Harry, weird sex - that I think it'll be in my top 5 for the rest of time, come what may. Chickenpets, conveniently, was also interviewed on the Fanfic Maverick Podcast, and her comments on not only Pacify but the characters in general were so interesting to hear. I'll probably listen to it again soon. I hesitate to say this is THE snarry to read if you've never read any, but then again... I'm saying it.

All this being said, anon, please let me know which ones you decide to read and how you like them! 💓

[lov3nerdstuff]

Series Announcement: Voluptas Noctis Aeternae

I AM BACK!!! After decades of absence, I am finally returning to you with a brand new series, and I'm way too excited about it already. Over the past few months I've been working on this story that turned into a series, that turned into a novel, that turned into a series of novels! Honestly, by now I am literally just writing books. Not even joking. I spent many months writing this series, and I literally cannot wait to finally share it with you guys! It's freaking huge, and I loved every second of writing it. I still do! It's already at a point beyond 250k words, so I'm not promising too much when I say it's going to be one hell of a journey!

If you've previously read any of my works, you might have come across Wicked Game, my precious spark of utmost inspiration. I can tell you: this series now stems from the very same places of overwhelming passion for writing and a unyielding love for my characters and plot! So if you liked my style of writing Wicked Game, I can tell you this story is going to be even better! And if you ever liked any of my writing and characters, I ask you to give this story a chance. It really is a project most dear to me (I guess I wouldn't have written seven books on it if it wasn't!)

Since the majority of the story is already completed and ready to be posted, let me give you some specifics!

The story is called Voluptas Noctis Aeternae (as you can see in my lovely header, which I drew myself, out of sheer undying love for this very series). It is set in the Harry Potter universe, starting in the year 1983! The story revolves around the life of Robin Mitchell, who not only has to deal with life as a student at Hogwarts, the struggles of being a muggle born in a world full of magic, and growing up as a not quite so ordinary person, but who also eventually manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape, the one person everyone else just seems to hate, and who seemed to return the very sentiment. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most.

Basically, this is a very slow slow-burn Snape x OC, where they go from an unlikely alliance to being friends, and in the end, to romance. Keep in mind, the Snape I'm showing here is only 23 when the story begins. (There's no underage relationships, if that's something you're concerned about, but technically it still is a Professor x Student fic, as that just is my all-time favorite trope in the world, and if you've read Wicked Game, you'll know that already). I should as well mention that I honestly do not want to bother with Voldemort, so this story could be considered as an AU in which Voldemort actually died for real in the first wizarding war. All events of the actual Harry Potter books/movies will therefore not be addressed, mainly because the story is set before that.

Generally, there's honestly a bit of every genre in it, from ancient prophecies to ballroom dancing to adventures to deep conversations. Every bit the detailed writing you're used to from me!

The story is split into multiple books, and each book is split into chapters. The majority of the story is already finished, so there's nothing to fear in terms of continuous updates. I currently plan to post every other day, or at least to stick to a fixed schedule! The first part should be posted tomorrow, Monday the 3rd of August!

Wow, that was a really long announcement for once! I hope some of you guys are interested in this series, and again, I really hope you will give it a chance! Writing for Snape is honestly new to me, and even if you haven't really read the character before, if you like (my version of) Loki, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself in this series as well! If it's not your thing however, I can totally respect that as well. Everyone's entitled to their own cup of tea 😉💚

If anyone would like to be tagged in this series, THE TAGLIST IS OPEN 💗 just tell me in the comments! Hugs, and lots of love

FIND THE STORY HERE!

- Kay

[takerfoxx]

An entirely too long ramble about how much Imperfect Metamorphosis means to me

(Tumblr please actually show that submissions are not just text posts please)

So. It’s almost the last day of the decade. I usually get weirdly sad and nostalgic in the last 30 minutes of New Year’s Eve, but this time it’s been like, a whole week, and I’ve been reflecting on this decade as a whole as well as like, my path in life.

The 1990’s were the decade of my birth and early life.

The 2000’s were the decade of being REALLY into Harry Potter.

And my 2010’s were, wholly and singularly, defined and shaped by Touhou. 

I got into Touhou sometime around Easter 2010 when McRoll’d came into my YouTube feed, and something about the music was just so god damned catchy I just had to know where it came from. So I discovered Flandre’s fight and from there, I learned just how great the music of this weird bullet hell game made by some rando in Japan. It quickly became my Thing. When I wasn’t playing sucking at the games, I was listening to the music, and if I wasn’t listening to the music, I was at school (where I’d probably not be paying attention let’s be real here).

So there I was, happily consuming fanart and fansongs and fangames and doing that little smile in appreciation when you see a reference to a thing you like (shoutout to raocow for also playing a few Touhou fangames way back when). It expanded my gaming interests into the sphere of “modding games to make them harder can be fun and cool”, which then lead to a general interest in playing modded and moddable games. It even made me interested in visiting Japan (on my bucket list), not in that stereotypical “weeb” way of visiting all the anime and manga stores, but more in the “something I like put a country on my radar and holy shit some of those restaurants, l want to eat at ALL of these places because they’re gorgeous” way.

You’ll notice that I specifically withheld from mentioning Fanfiction. See, as a teenager who did have the “try something once and if I don’t like it I’ll probably hate it forever because it’s always like that” mentality, I had the unfortunate experience of coming across My Immortal. 

That, and the fact that one of my close friends in High School had taken to reading Twilight Fanfic (and complaining at almost every story she read and their bad use of tropes) kinda solidified fanfiction as “something dumb and stupid written by people who solely want to roleplay fucking the protagonist”. And on that pedestal sat the entire concept of fanfiction for a long-ass time (actually it was about a year and a bit).

Fast forward a while. Patchouli had cemented herself as All Time Favourite Character, I’d begun to grow out of my Harry Potter phase in search of new stories, and I’d made some new friends, one of whom said they read fanfiction all the time and some of it was actually better than original, published books because they had the freedom to explore ideas that weren’t entirely publishable. But also to roleplay fuck their waifus.

At some point in Summer 2011, not too long after it came out, I decided to replay Portal 2, and something about the story left me feeling… incomplete. Empty. I sought people discussing what they thought of the story and hidden nuggets of info peppered throughout the game, and at some long buried comment section on YouTube, someone mentioned how some fanfiction went into a headcanon and took it further. I read it, considered it for a moment, deemed it worthy of being called “not trash”, and immediately set to looking at the Touhou section on FF.net.

The first fanfics I read of Touhou were… Well, they were. There were some good ones and not so good ones. But they were all, in some way, at least interesting. I quickly discovered the frustration that New Friend had brought up once, of when you discover something great but it’s over all too soon. Setting FF.net’s search to include only 100k and up fanfics, I was delighted to discover that there was a fanfiction called “Imperfect Metamorphosis” that was over 350,000 words long. And then my carefully crafted plan of going to bed at a sensible time to maximise Summer Gaming Time was devoured by staying up until 4:30am, reading fanfiction on a shitty laptop that could barely run UFO. Thank fuck it was the summer holidays.

There was something special about Imperfect Metamorphosis. The characters all had their own personality, their own history, their own implied history beyond what was written, they had goals, thoughts, feelings, and different takes towards other people working to further their own goals. And it was all wrapped up in a package that started with a simple premise, grew to encompass a world more broad than mere canon or fanon, and then billowed into an eldritch monster of ungodly size (hi, Yuuka!)((kind of like this post huh)). 

I was so fucking hooked on IM. I went back to school with theories buzzing about my brain as to what was going to end up happening, my mind wandering to the latest chapter and the bits I thought were cool, actually having the drive to focus and actually learn something about story structure in English Literature. I suddenly had the tiniest flame of interest in creating. Maybe one day I could write fanfic, and do my tiny part in expanding the universe of fan-content.

Regardless of the fact that my own attempts at conjuring stories weren’t successful (for a while), IM was there to be read throughout my last years of Normal Schooling, and it served as both a rock and an escape from the stress of school. I laughed with the jokes, I took Marisa’s death harder than the sum total of Harry Potter’s entire bodycount, and I could never hear Soulja Boi without thinking of Mima trolling Satori.

Just like how Touhou expanded my gaming and cultural horizons, Imperfect Metamorphosis expanded my horizon with Literature. I got into reading Neil Gaiman’s work, I read some Lovecraft, I consumed all kinds of works of fiction, across a multitude of genres, which all felt, in some way, like I was reading them because of IM. I mean I only started watching Madoka, and any anime beyond that, because of Resonance Days. Interesting way of coming across a show filled to the brim with spoilers.

It’s been three years since you put Imperfect Metamorphosis onto hiatus, and I have never read anything that has filled me with such emotion to the same extent. Other things have come close, some of them were even written by other people! (the most recent mega-update of Walpurgis Nights hit me particularly hard). And Swiftly Descending Darkness has been such a great read thus far, the slowly ramping tension is so. god. damned. good.

And as I think I mentioned a while back, I finally managed to start grinding out a touhou fic at my own, absolutely glacial, pace. I always find myself asking “is this canon to Touhou, or is it just canon to IM?”. The line has forever blurred in my mind.

I’m not asking anyone to read my work. This isn’t a plea for you to return to the original IM at any speed, I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for writing Imperfect Metamorphosis. For the work that’s been a steady constant throughout the vast, vast majority of this decade. For inspiring a wealth of emotions and ideas in the mind of a British guy who you’ll never meet. For just, plain writing a good story.

And for making Marisa the biggest badass to grace the land.

Here’s to the 2020’s not sucking, and to the ever expanding list of stories written by Internet user Takerfoxx. Here’s hoping you find great success.

Thank you.

P.S. Oh, and The Friend Who Said Fanfic Was Good Actually? They’re now my Fiancée, as of last month. Funny how the world works like that.

@diggertron, dude, you honestly have me feeling pretty humbled right now. I have to admit, it’s getting harder and harder not to see anything but the flaws when I look back on IM or RD, to the point when anyone compliments me about my writing my reflexive response is to be self-deprecating about my weaknesses, but this has helped me gain some more perspective about my older work, and for that I thank you, and am glad you have stuck around for so many years. 

And congratulations on your engagement as well!

[sethnakht]

9,14,15

9. Character death you still haven’t moved on yet?

This question is missing a preposition, I think - moving on, I think in some sense I’ve never moved past Vader’s unmasking in ROTJ. For all that I can barely watch that movie, that I find even this scene ridiculous in some sense, those last moments with Luke somehow never fail to dig up buried complexes, to open the floodgates to memories of childhood fears and the deaths of loved ones. Sebastian Shaw’s performance has a lot to do with it, I think.

But Vader may simply be the earliest example of which I became conscious. (I’ve been fascinated with that scene since early childhood.) One might say that I gravitate towards the characters who are most likely to die, who are in some way touched by death, bound to it, who actually die in the course of the story, who are dying or actually dead or at very least, constantly flirting with suicide. 

None of this actually answers the question. Hm. I remember thinking a lot about Snape’s death, back when that was news. There’s something about how he dies - the brutality and dirtiness of the death, how drawn out it is, the helplessness felt by the children in the face of it, the irony of it all that is scant consolation. He dies like a dog, essentially, the spy deemed expendable spread out on the dusty floor where he once sought to spy on other boys/dogs, unprepared or perhaps even eager for his own poisoning, ravaged by the ostensible mascot of his own house. It’s a death that repulses me, that speaks to me; one that says everything about the character in a nutshell, while also serving as a kind of silent accusation writ bold. If I were to ever write about Potter again, it would be about that death.

14. Favorite fanfiction read/written.

Speaking of Snape’s death, a lot of the formative fic in my life - stories that became writerly and psychological models - focuses on precisely that. In Infinite Remorse of Soul by @perverse-idyll is a brilliant, if particularly decadent and fucked-up example about which I could talk at length. 

In SW - and my fandom life began here, so this is probably the real answer - the bar was first set by FernWithy and the Father’s Heart series. Perhaps the truest answer, though, is that I love a lot of fic and would need several rec lists to answer this properly. 

Written? eh, if I’ve learned one thing over the years, it’s that for all I want to and somehow find myself doing so, I can’t write.

15. Most loathed character. EVER.

pfffft

In all seriousness, I wish I could feel this strongly about characters! It speaks to an emotional depth - or a world-building ability -I for the most part lack. I’m practical – there are characters I love and ones I find interesting, ones that seem filled with potential, ones I think could be fun to fuck up or flesh out. These are the characters for which I come to fandom. All others simply fade into the background to be conveniently ignored. You’d never get me to care about Draco Malfoy, for all that I find the Blacks fascinating. Or loathe certain members of the Jedi Order.

I do have a love-hate relationship to characters like Vader. He’s – awful is not strong enough a word for it. More often than not I despise myself for using him as a coping mechanism, for investing ever more time into a phenomenon who can, in some sense, easily be explained. I think I loathe him as much as I love dissecting him.